#OK IM DONE CAUSE IM NOT WRITING ALL OF THEM AGAIN FOR THE THIRD TIME EUGH | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lexis3npaii · 2 years

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Late Night Talking

We've been doin' all this late night talkin' 'Bout anythin' you want until the mornin' Now you're in my life I can't get you off my mind

leeknowxreader

2k words

(fluff and angst a little but not really)

2:24 am

unknown: so when do you want to work on the project

you: ummm who is this?

unknown: lee minho? from creative writing?

unknown: sorry just kinda figured you saved my number when i wrote it down…

you: omg sorry :/ i totally forgot to do that

you: but dude the project just got assigned today and it’s not due until a month from now…

unknown: well technically it was assigned yesterday

you: ya know that leads me to my next thought

you: why are you awake at 2 am???🤨

unknown: why are YOU awake at 2 am?

you: touche

unknown: i have a lot of things outside of that class so i just want to get this project done

unknown: so when do you want to work on it?

unknown: hello???

unknown: QUICKLY!!!!

you: holy cow calm down my guy. i was brushing my teef

you: and ur the one with a life outside of class

you: what days are you free🙄

unknown: lets meet at the library on friday at 3. does that work for you?

you: yes sir🤑

11:14 pm

lee minho from class: you left your sweater in the library

you: now why didn’t you tell me when i was walking out🤨

lee minho from class: i didnt notice until after you left

you: and you just remembered at 11:15 at night…

lee minho from class: i forgot about it. I stuffed it in my bag when i left cause i had to catch my bus

you: hmmm sure

lee minho from class: ?

you: i seen you eyeing it when we were writing

lee minho from class: if youre suggesting that i want to steal your sweater, youre wrong

you: yea sure i believe you

lee minho from class: i dont want your sweater y/n.

you: geez a name drop😟you must really not want it

you: what is it about my sweater that repulses you minho?

you: the little puffy sheep?

you: the yellow sleeves?

you: the cropped fit?

lee minho from class: im just gonna bring it to class on monday.

you: i- ok

3:58 am

you: do owls live in nests?

you: minho?

you: i know youre awake🙄

you: u dont sleep

you: minnie~

minho: ok first of all never call me minnie ever again

minho: second of all im not google

minho: third of all why are you awake and wondering?

you: ok mr points😒 you caught me😒 i was bored and i knew you’d be awake to entertain me😒

you: so…

minho: so what?

you: ENTERTAIN ME!

minho: how?

you: idk send pics

minho: HUH???

you: NO

you: OF YOUR CATS

you: YOU HAVE CATS DON’T YOU?

you: i saw your lock and home screen. sorry for assuming😔

minho: oh yeah. i have 3 cats sooni, doongi, and dori

you: send pics dude.

minho: here.

minho: *insert pics of 3 cats*

you: awwwww so cute

minho: do you have any pets?

you: i used to have a hamster

minho: used to?

you: yea… he passed

you: rip cedric the entertainer😔🙏🏾

minho: interesting name

you: i was obsessed with madagascar when i was younger

minho: the island?

you: the movie?

minho: never seen it

you: 😧😧😧😧

you: WHHAAAAATTTT

you: we gotta watch it

minho: together?

you: i-

you: well not together

you: unless you want to

you: haha

you: …

you: um well. my my my would you look at the time. gotta wake up early for class

minho: goodnight y/n

12:47 am

minnie: i cant believe you know the loud menace

you: who? jisung?

you: its kinda hard not to know him

minnie: yea but thats really just a facade. hes actually pretty shy

you: honestly i can tell

you: in class most days hes on 10 but every once in a while he might be at a 4 or 6

you: but whenever im with him we’re both at a solid 8

minnie: yea your personalities seem to match quite nicely

minnie: you’d probably get along with changbin and hyunjin. their both loud and annoying like jisung

you: geez minho, arent these people your FRIENDS

minnie: they’re leeches

minnie: chan, jeongin, and yongbok i like

minnie: seungmin is a whole other story

you: well id be happy to meet them. you live with 2 of them right?

minnie: hyunjin and yongbok

you: why don’t we work on the project at your place one day?

minnie: trust me you dont want that

minnie: we’d never get anything done

minnie: also the loud one told me you have my contact saved under ‘minnie’ 👀

you: WHAT😧😧😧

you: LEE MINHO USING AN EMOJI???

you: HAS THE WORLD BEEN THROWN OFF ITS AXIS😟🤯

minnie: haha

you: and hes back lol

you: yes i maybe might have you saved as minnie

you: but it just shows that ur moving up my friendship ladder

you: were bestie now😁❤️🥺❤️‍🔥

minnie: define ‘besties’🤨

you: jerk.

you: well im gonna try to work on some hw before going to sleep

you: goodnight BESTIE😤🖤

minnie: goodnight y/n :)

10:19 pm

minnie: congratulations. youre the first girl to not be charmed by thee hwang hyunjin

you: awww thank you thank you *pagent girl wave*

you: also ive known guys like hyunjin before. i know exactly how to crush their egos😈

you: besides i was too distracted by changbin’s chest😩🥵

you: ive been in need of a new pillow😴🥱🤤

minnie: gross y/n

minnie: im gonna send him this

you: shiiiiii ill send it myself

you: no shame in my game. hes hot

minnie: …🧍🏻‍♂️

minnie: moving on

minnie: you can just send your files for the project to me. ill put it all into one document and email it to the prof

you: aye aye captain

12:08 am

bestie minnie: wanna come by the dance studio tomorrow

bestie minnie: or today i guess

you: will changbin be there?

bestie minnie: hyunjin, yongbok, and jisung will😒

you: sigh🙄 i guess

4:11 am

you: can you proofread my lit paper?

you: ive been writing since 12 and i can barely see straight

bestie minnie: send it.

bestie minnie: im gonna facetime

5:33 am

bestie minnie: i know your probably sleeping but i just had the weirdest dream and you were in it

you: omg what was it about?

you: omg what was i wearing?

you: omg did i smell good?

bestie minnie: noooo y/n ur not supposed to be awake😩

you: well i am and im curious🤨

you: answer the questions boy🤨

bestie minnie: ok…

bestie minnie: it was really strange…

bestie minnie: have you been awake or did i wake you?

you: MINHO UR STALLING

bestie minnie: alright alright. In my dream we were dating

bestie minnie: MS Y/N L/N DO NOT LEAVE ME ON READ😤

bestie minnie: i knew i shouldn’t have told u😩

you: SORRY

you: i was imagining it

bestie minnie: i havent even explained the dream yet…

you: I WAS GETTING A HEAD START

you: hold on now🤨

bestie minnie: what

you: u said u had a weird dream

you: what was so weird about us dating

you: 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

bestie minnie: idk. ur my friend

you: lee minho did you just friendzone me😭

bestie minnie: NO

bestie minnie: YOU DIDNT ASK ME OUT

you: ugh thats even worse😩

you: my bestie thinks im undateable😩😩😩

bestie minnie: IM NEVER TELLING YOU ABOUT MY DREAMS EVER AGAIN

you: 😭😭😭 gn min

bestie minnie: goodnight y/n🙄

3:01 am

you: waffles or pancakes? no further questions asked

bestie 4 da restie🖤: waffles

you: HA

you: changbin owes me 5 bucks😈

bestie 4 da restie🖤: ur with changbin at 3 in the morning?

you: no were texting

bestie 4 da restie🖤: oh

you: ???

bestie 4 da restie🖤: do you guys text often?

you: what are you getting at mr🤨?

bestie 4 da restie🖤: nothing. just curious.

you: not as often as i text u if that is what u want to know minho.

bestie 4 da restie🖤: i was just asking y/n.

you: yea sure. i gotta go

bestie 4 da restie🖤: oh. well goodnight <3

2:50 am

bestie 4 da restie🖤: madagascar 2 isnt as good as the first one but i liked it

10:11 pm

bestie 4 da restie🖤: im sorry if what i said the other night upset you

bestie 4 da restie🖤: i just miss talking to you. you didnt wait for me after class today, so i figured something was up

4:22 am

bestie 4 da restie🖤: ok this time i really hope youre not up but its been a few days and i really just miss u a lot so here goes

bestie 4 da restie🖤: i like u a lot y/n. i think i have since the first time we met up in the library and you came rushing through the door in that cute sheep sweater. i like talking to you. i like the sound of your laugh. i like that my friends like you. i like that youre always awake and willing to talk. i like that you remember my cats names. i like that your favorite movie is madagascar and that you forced me to watch it cause now its one of my favorites. i like that youre yourself no matter who youre around. and i like that you stuck around and did everything you could to befriend me cause i know im not the easiest person to talk to. im moody, blunt, and reserved which most people take as rudeness but you didnt and i really really like that about you. and i know you like changbin but i just had to say that

bestie 4 da restie🖤: ok im gonna turn off my phone before you can reply

you: WAIT

you: dont go

you: at least let me read it before you go ghost

bestie 4 da restie🖤: ok

you: wow

bestie 4 da restie🖤: ok turning off the device now

you: NO!!! IM TRYING TO GET MY THOUGHTS IN ORDER AND MY HANDS TO STOP SHAKING BECAUSE I LIKE U TOO

bestie 4 da restie🖤: wait what?

you: ok first of all i dont actually like changbin. i mean i do like him as friend and he is hot (sorry) but i genuinely really like you minho

you: second of all sorry ive been ignoring the past couple days. i wasnt upset about what you said. i was just a little annoyed but also it made me realize how much i liked you because i was happy that you sounded jealous but then i got scared cause i was afraid you didnt feel the same and i didnt want to ruin what we had

you: and third of all I SEEM TO REMEMBER YOU FRIENDZONING ME THE OTHER DAY SO WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT???🤨

bestie 4 da restie🖤: WELL YOU ALWAYS SAY IM YOUR BESTIE i thought you didnt like me the way i did

you: ok valid but i call everyone bestie min

bestie 4 da restie🖤: i know but it just hurt a little more when it was directed towards me

you: omg can i facetime rn

bestie 4 da restie🖤: why?

you: cause i know ur pouting and i wanna see 👀

bestie 4 da restie🖤: …ok😒

2:22 am

min❤️: hated madagascar 3🤢

you: thats why i didnt wanna watch with you

min❤️: and you didnt warn me? worse girlfriend award

you: u shouldve taken me not wanting to see it as a sign. not knowing my tells, worse boyfriend award

min❤️: ok well now i wanna see the first one

you: and whats stopping you?🤨

min❤️: ur door

you: HUH???

min❤️: im outside

you: 🚨WEIRDO ALERT🚨WEIRDO ALERT🚨

min❤️: just open the door🙄

you: when hes bossy😍🥵

min❤️: geez

min❤️: WHAT WAS THAT NOISE??? ARE U OK??? WHATS TAKING U SO LONG???

you: sorry i was laughing so hard i fell off my chair. coming now <3

min❤️: remind me again why i like u?

you: would you like me to copy and paste your confession🥺

min❤️: JUST OPEN THE DOOR

you: hehe love u

min❤️: love u too

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: that other minho fic im writing seems to be putting up quite a fight. its always the middle for me, like i know how i want it to end but everything in between is a struggle. but i decided to write this in the meantime just for funsies. ive always been good at writing dialogue (probably because im a screenwriter lol) so this was fun for me. if i dont finish the other minho fic, i think ill write something with han or changbin🤔 ive been really into harry’s new album and this idea came to me. i hope you enjoy and as always feedback is greatly appreciated :)

#lee know #lee minho #skz minho #minho fluff #lee know fluff #lee know fanfic #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids #skz #lee know x reader #lee know x y/n #stray kids fanfic #skz lee know

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lonslibrary · 3 years

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3 moments between the crow couples during their time at hogwarts

1. an unknown part of wylan and jesper’s somewhat disastrous amortentia story comes moments after jesper pulled wylan in for a kiss by his tie, causing the rest of their classmates to erupt in cheers and applause so loud that professor snape’s “boys! in the hall, now!” went unheard. minutes later, when they had actually been led out of the classroom to wait for their punishment, wylan finally worked up the courage to meet jesper’s eyes, his face almost as red as his hair. jesper’s grin was radiant. “so. butterbeer and my cologne, huh?”

it took all of wylan’s nerve to not sink into the ground where he stood. “i didn’t know today’s lesson was on amortentia,” he muttered, feeling himself flush again.

it took all of jesper’s will not to kiss the younger again right there where he stood with the way the redhead was looking up at him from beneath his long lashes.

“well, what about you?” wylan demanded, rolling his eyes. “let me guess. cards, pumpkin juice, and galleons?”

“no, actually.” jesper replied, spinning his wand in his hand. “i smell grass. gunpowder. and...”

he took a step closer to wylan who stood still, holding his breath. “...and?” the third year asked quietly.

“exploding elixir.”

wylan’s mind shut down.

“the entire room was filled with the same smell from that day we singed snape’s hair,” jesper snorted. “of all things, we had to mess up the potion that smelled like burnt-”

it was wylan who pulled jesper down this time, reaching up on his tippy toes to meet jesper’s soft lips, the ones that had captivated him from the moment he had walked into the potions classroom and saw his new lab partner for the first time.

“fahey, van eck!” snape burst into the hallway. “does it seem possible to keep your hands off of each other?”

“sorry, prof.” jesper winked, eyes still trained on wylan’s mouth. “guess you can say we’ve got...chemistry.”

wylan couldn’t even bring himself to care about detention.

2. nina stifled a laugh, trying to keep a straight face as she watched matthias scan the inside of zonko’s joke shop. she had just gotten matthias to admit that he enjoyed a drink as sweet as butterbeer, hours earlier at the three broomsticks. “you look like you’re inside the shrieking shack, not a joke shop.” nina snickered at the way matthias perked up.

“whatever the shrieking shack is, i think that there’d be more dignity in such a place than...this.” matthias dropped a dungbomb he had picked up like it had personally offended his grandmother.

“why?” nina giggled. she shook the box in her hand. “not a fan of ton-tongue toffees?”

matthias made a face that looked like he was more than just not a fan. “if it’s anything like those jelly beans you fed me on the train, then no.”

that only made nina laugh harder. “i swear you picked the worst ones! you should’ve seen your face when you tried the rotten egg flavor.”

matthias cracked a smile, relaxing a little amongst the colorful store and his girlfriend’s laughter. he picked up another product, a pink bottle corked at the top. “what does this one do?”

nina lowered her voice, gesturing for matthias to come closer, as if letting him in on a secret. “that one’s a love potion. one drop of it in someone’s drink and they’re yours,” she whispered. “they’ll think about you all day.”

matthias jerked away, putting the bottle back on the shelf. “you can’t be serious. love can’t be made like that!” he sputtered.

“i don’t know, durmstrang,” nina teased. “what if i bought one and slipped some in your pumpkin juice tomorrow at breakfast?”

matthias only crossed his arms, continuing to grimace. “well, that wouldn’t work at all.”

“why not? zonko’s is pretty reliable when it comes to their products.” she said pointedly, looking at the extendable ears on sale.

“because i’m already in love with you.” matthias stated simply.

nina froze, turning to her boyfriend. during her time dating matthias, the hufflepuff had proven to be narrow minded and straightforward as a broom doing any and every thing. it was moments like these she was reminded that this included during his expressions of affection, and nina couldn’t love him more for it.

“i’m in love with you, too.” she declared, slipping her hand into her boyfriend’s. she had always liked...brooms. “now, come on. i want to see if we can get kaz to fall for a trick wand.”

3. all inej had wanted was a quiet place to study that wasn’t the library. she liked to practice with her wand for transfiguration, and magic wasn’t allowed in the library. she had been wandering the school for an empty classroom or quiet corner when the room of requirement had appeared at the end of a hallway, exactly moments before she was about to give up and return to the gryffindor common room. she was only half surprised when she opened the door and saw kaz, but like always, kaz hadn’t seemed surprised at all when she entered. he sat on top of a desk with his cane leaned against it, wand out, in the middle of a silent spell. inej let her eyes trail over his robe perched on a chair, his gloves off and set aside in a rare moment, and his uniform sleeves pulled up to his elbows.

“first time here?” kaz asked, not looking up from the book in his lap. his rough voice echoed slightly in the large room as inej scanned her surroundings. the room was empty besides a couple of desks and chairs in one corner, a cluttered pile of objects in another, and a big wardrobe that looked ages old. a fireplace on the wall kept the room warm, and a small chandelier hung above inej’s head.

“guess i didn’t require much until now.” inej shrugged, pulling a desk and chair of her own towards the center of the room. “you?”

kaz closed his book, finally looking up at inej. “i come and go when i want.”

inej wanted to know more about what had revealed the room to kaz in the first place, but she redirected the question away from kaz himself, knowing it was unlikely he would answer. “get anything out of it?” with kaz, it was all about gain.

kaz drummed his fingers on his desk. inej tried not to stare. “some crying first years with who miss their mums. i think i’ve witnessed a bit of every couple in the school’s snogging.” he pulled out a handful of extendable ears from his robe pocket. “snape’s planning something. don’t know the details yet, but something big.”

inej nodded. part of her expected kaz to leave, speak with his silence as he tended to do, but he continued to sit and look at inej, book in lap. inej knew him well enough to recognize that while it wasn’t exactly an invitation, kaz wasn’t saying no to a conversation. she could’ve started with a less risky question about snape’s plans, or asked for the names of the couples in their year, just to know, but inej was curious about other things.

“and how did you find this place, kaz?”

“the de kappel painting.” he said casually. “i needed a place to hide it.”

inej froze, taken aback by kaz’s answer. or more accurately, his willingness to answer. “so it’s true?” she questioned, hoping her voice didn’t give away her surprise. “the gringotts vault rumor.” she had half believed them to begin with, knowing kaz’s abilities but never his motives. still, kaz had never confirmed it with anyone as far as she had known.

“true enough.” kaz reopened his book, attention back on the page. inej inwardly sighed. the satisfaction of knowing kaz trusted her enough to confirm the gringotts rumor didn’t last long. figures kaz wouldn’t want to talk much about himself.

“but that’s a story for next time.” kaz flipped a page, the slightest start of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

next time, inej turned over in her head. she tried not to smile as she opened her own book. she could work with next time.

author’s note (pls read!) this is my first time on tumblr so idk how to use it too well but i’m overwhelmed by all the nice responses so thank you all so, so much. i see everything!! idk if there’s like poll mechanisms and stuff on tumblr (argh help) but i wanted to gauge what everyone would like next—im deciding between six of crows x pjo or shadow and bone x harry potter, so comment below what you’d like to see first (: i’d also love to hear abt any personal requests so my dms (is that what they’re called here?) are open for suggestions. no promises, but lmk if there’s something you want to read. feel free to get as niche as you want, respectfully! ok ik this is super long god bless your soul if u actually read the entire thing but finally, i just wanted to introduce myself—i’m lynn, this is my library and i dabble in most fandoms! my goal is to get at least one piece of writing out every month, so if you’d like to read what i write, follow along! OK im finally done, i swear. thank you again for the tremendous support. unbelievable. happy reading!

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argumentl · 3 years

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The Freedom of Expression Ep 58 - [NSFW] The truth behind the DIR EN GERY misprint, and a mysterious voice...

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this week's episode of the Freedom of Expression. Joe, Tasai, welcome...Um..

T: Ah!

J: What is it?

T: No way!

K: Its 'Young Jump'

J: Ah, Young Jump.

K: I think you already know about this, but we put an ad on it like this *shows back page*.

J: Oh, looks great!

T: Yeah, it does. Very impactful.

K: Its good, isn't it?

T: Yeah, great impact.

K: There's something a bit odd about it.

J: Haha

T: Huh? Where?

J: Eh? Something odd?

K: Yeah, its a bit strange. There's a bit of a mistake.

J: Is the kanji for Oboro correct?

K: Yeh, and this is right, about the release on the 28th of April.

J: And Wenesday is correct, right?

K: Yeah, and the explosion screening schedule is ok.

T: Yeah, it is.

K: The ticket price info is also all fine.

J: Yep.

K: After that there's only this bottom section.

J:Yeah.

T: DIR EN...

T, J: GERY, haha.

J: Has a new band formed?

K: We screwed up.

J, T: Hahaha

K: Its hard to believe, right?

J: Incredible. I did not expect this..Dir en gery.

T: I thought it was like a trick or something.

J: Oh, to make it go viral or..?

T: Yeah, going with Dir en gery.

J: Kaoru, what was it?

T: We'll find out about it here.

K: It was a total mistake.

J, T: Hahaha

J: Seriously? Eh? Really?

K: Yeah.

T: Does that mean it was done on a hurry, if its a seroius mistake?

K: Yeah, I guess so.

J: Well, Tasai, you work for a newspaper, and I also work for Rolling Stone, so we understand this, but our work is handed in for checking, you know, proof-reading. And they do spot mistakes, but honestly, I have never seen mistake of this size before.

T: Yeh. This is at the level of 'accident'. However, there is a case for saying that we cannot attack this. What I mean by that is that we too make mistakes.

J: Yes, thats true. There is that. Well, this goes for magazines etc too, but if you do proof-reading within the organization, for example, if the writer writes an article, the editor will proof-read it, and they may intend to, but if everyone is really busy with loads of other work, they will run out of time. Then they will get it checked by an external proof-reader. Even then there are sometimes still typos left over.

T: Yeah, there are.

J: There are, right? Human error happens.

T: Yeah, like if I misspell a name or something, I can correct it on the digital version, but on paper it appears on every copy out there.

J: Yeah..

K: But like this?!

J: Yeah, we say this, but we've never seen a typo this bad. Like, I've mistaken small details in names and stuff before.

K: Yeah, like Young Jump becoming Young JumP, right?

J, T: Yeh, haha.

K: Not like this! *points to 'GERY'*

J: Haha, this is...

*Sound of strange voice occurs in background - On screen text: 'What was that voice?! One more time.. (Clip of strange voice re-plays) No-one during the filming heard this. Its a mystery voice'*

J: Tell us what happened?

T: Yeah, lets ask.

K: Um, we had the design made, and the designer made the regular logo and put it down here in this fixed spot, so it looked as if the logo was done, even though there was a mistake in it. At the time, I wasn't looking at the band name, I was looking at the overall design, and ths impact it had. Like this image of Kyo from RokumaykanGIG. My eyes were drawn to the best parts of the design. It wasn't really designed to emphasize the band name. Its designed to showcase this top part, so I, like, didn't see it. Die didn't even see it, and he normally checks these really carefully. Even if we miss something, he normally spots it straight away.

J: Ah, even Die didn't notice it! ???*1

K: Yeah. We were too busy checking that there were no mistakes in the tour schedule.

J: Yeah.

K: But the information is all correct, so if its just the band name with a mistake, well, maybe its ok.

T: This could become a really rare item in time to come.

J: Yeah, cause there isn't gonna be a misspelling with Dir en grey again after this. That point will be strengthened.

K: Not for a while yeah. A long time ago, we had a single out called 'Filth', and there was a mistake in the title of the song on the cover jacket.

T: Eh? So this is the second time this has happened to you?

K: Well...yeh.

T: Hahaha

K: Well, we occasionally make small mistakes *2, but...

T: This is big.

J: Can I suggest something? Good things come in threes.

K: Ah, terrible.

J: So there will be a third time to come, imagine it, it could be both the title and the band name with a mistake.

T: Hahaha

K: Well, what can I do about it now? If you buy the single 'Filth' even now, its still like that. So filth is spelled f-i-l-h..huh? h-f...um, it's..

T: ..t-h

K: f-i-l-t-h, but the i became f, I mean h. So because there were two h's I realised the mistake. If there really is only one h, it could be that they just made the letters look in that style, but they look the same to me.

T: Ehh? I want to line Filth up next to this magazine.

J: Yeah

J, K: Hahaha

T: Don't you have it here? Filth?

K: We do.

T: Lets put them out together!

K: When I saw this (*Young Jump*) though, well, I thought it was quite rare*3, it could become a talking point. If you take a bad thing in a smooth way, someone will notice, so I thought we could just go with it.

J: Brilliant!

K: And then I posted on Twitter, like 'Ooops'. And that was a photo of the actual magazine, so it really was like 'ooops'.

T: As soon as I saw your Tweet, I was like 'Huh?!' and I went to the convenience store and bought it. haha

J: Well, in that sense it is a rare item

T: Can we decide on the correct reading for this? How would you say it?

K: Ge-ri?

J: Dir en gery (ge-ri).

K: jeri? geri?

J: geri? jeri?

T: gari?

J: Its geri, right? Well, jeri is like..

K: In the basic form its geri, right?

J: Yeah. jeri might have to be 'Gerry' with two r's. Which is best Dir en jeri or Dir en geri?

T: Should we decide? Even though it doesn't really matter.

J: Yeah

J: Dir en geri sounds like a struggling country rock artist or something, haha. Dir en jeri has jellyfish vibes.

T: The official name: Dir en Gery (jeri). haha.

J: I want you guys to do a joke live show as Dir en gery. You could switch parts, like Kaoru, you could be on drums.

K: Ah, but we did kinda do that once, we changed parts on stage. I just made a load of noise.

J: Ahh, so you could do that as Dir en gery somewhere officially and play one song.

T: Ahh, thats a good idea.

J: Do a cover or something.

T: You could do ???*4

K: Er, no. haha.

J: Haha, this will getting bigger and bigger.

T: But I heard recently at the MeguroRokumaykanGIG screening, Kyo said that Toshiya used to play guitar a long time ago.

K: He was playing guitar the first time we saw him playing in a band...well, I don't know if he was playing it, or just waving it around a lot.

T: Yeah, Kyo said the stage was going wild.

K: Yeah, he wasn't playing.

J: So, when you guys switched instruments on stage, what did you do Kaoru?

K: Drums.

J: Oh, drums?

K: Thats the one I wanna try out the most.

J: So if you guys played as Dir en gery, Kaoru, you would be..?

T: Drums?

K:...Nah....*imitates playing the castanets*

J: Tambourine? Oh, castanets? So, it doesn't necessarily have to be the same instruments you play at the moment?

K: Yeah. As long as we play as a proper band.

J: Yeah, so Kyo could play the recorder..

T: Someone could hit the ???*5

J: Yeah, yeah. Oh, that would be good.

*The single Filth gets passed over*

K: I'll just get it out.

*K shows cover jacket to J*

J: Oh, here, right?

K: Can you see, there are two h's.

J: Yes. I see.

*K shows it to T*

J: The first h is a typo?

K: Yeah.

T: Its a bit difficult to spot though.

K: We didn't even notice, we thought it was just the design.

J: Yeah. Put them together now.

*K puts magazine and CD together*

J, T: Hahaha

K: By the way, it was the same person who designed both of these.

J, T: Haha

K: When he saw it he was so pained.

T: Its ok, ???*6

J: Ahh, well, it can't be helped though.

*On screen note: Again? (weird voice appears)*

J: Even if there is a spelling mistake, its conveying the atmosphere that is the main thing.

K: Yeah, thats the emphasis.

J: But on the other hand, you could say that as soon as 'Dir' appears, people recognise it as Dir en grey, even with this kind of misspelling. The name is that well know.

T: Hmm, yeh

K: Hm, well, yeh, if you look at it up to here. But for us, its impossible.

J: Well, I guess yeah. It goes for Rolling Stones too. For example, if the last n in Rolling Stones became an m, you wouldn't immediately spot it. If it came up all of a sudden, you would just think 'Ah, the Stones'. It's that kind of name recognition. You could see it in that way. But I didn't know it was the same designer who did it both times.

K: Our boss was pretty mad about it.

J, T: Hahaha

J: Really? I see.

K: He couldn't believe it.

J: Well, yeah. Its also the most important part.

T: Well, yeah, and cause its already in circulation.

J: Yeah. Well, everyone can keep it as a treasure.

K: Where's Kami?

J: Yeah, isn't he here?

Kami: Oh, Im here, I was just listening the whole time. People make mistakes, right?

T: They do.

Kami: This is just a mistake. So its wrong to point blame.

T, J: Yes.

J: Kami, have you made a mistake recently or something?

Kami: Im always making mistakes, and always getting into trouble.

J, T: Haha

Kami: As soon as you've made a mistake, it hurts, right?

T: Yeah, I know that feeling.

Kami: Yeah.

J: Yeah, the person who made the mistake knows it, you don't have to tell them.

T: Yeah, that hurts the most.

Kami: I bet if you made a mistake like this though, you'd get into big trouble.

T, K: Haha

Kami: I think you really would.

T: Well, heh, yeah. But if even Die overlooked this..its like a demon interferred..

J: Yeah, unbelievable.

K: But, anyway, Im taking it in a good way. Well, I mean, it's not good to take just any old thing in a positive way, but....its a bit like those remarks by Mori that we discussed recently.

J: Oh yeah.

K: Like how to move on with it.

J: Yeah, we can learn from that.

K: Yeah.

*Sound cuts out. On screen note: Suddenly, we were unable to record to voices. Was it linked to that sound we heard earlier?*

K: Um, the sound..

J: It seems as if the sound went off.

T: I wonder whether its to do with what we just talked about?

K: What, like, 'Stop this conversation?'

J: Haha, like from ths designer's perspective...'Please stop it!'

T: Haha, yeah, 'Please!'

J: So, what about the Oboro single?

K: So, we're at the last stage, just the mastering, and a little more discussion, and we're about finished. And then the packaging. Well, there's just a little bit longer till the 28th, about another month.

J: Well, Im looking forward to it.

K: Ok, lets finish here for this week. Thank you.

*On screen note: The voice that no-one, including the staff, heard during recording was recorded into the mic data.*

*1,4,5,6 Couldn't catch

*2, 3 Not entirely sure

To top

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #kaoru #薫

23 notes · View notes

rreeaahh · 3 years

Text

Arms Tonite | draco malfoy

Arms Tonite - for @vogueweasley ‘s writing challenge (inspired by the song)

pairing: draco malfoy x fem!reader (ravenclaw)

words count: 10k - lyrics in italic

summary; your relationship with draco went from strangers, to lovers, to strangers again - but it broke the barrier between life and death.

warnings: the word “mudblood”; swearing; death eaters; voldemort; death of a character; some fluff; angst; kinda sad; slow burn; blood mention; (that’s all i could think of, please let me know if there are more!)

a/n: im so so so sorry if thats too long, my loves! i got carried away by this idea - i had it in my mind for so so long i used @vogueweasley 's writing challenge as motivation. again, congratulations mere! You're one of the first writers ive followed here, and I'm happy to see your blog growing❤️

“Can I sit there?” you asked softly, embracing the pile of books to your chest. They were all for your Potions’ essay, where you really wanted to excel, only to prove Professor Snape what you were capable of.

Since the first year, Snape turned out to be a walking nightmare for all the students in the entire castle, especially for the ones who hadn’t a green tie around their neck. Being a Ravenclaw, the desire to know more was a normal thing for you: always asking questions and making assumptions only to gain more information made Snape grow a feeling of hatred towards you. He’d externalize that hate by giving you extra work, asking you questions you had no idea to answer, criticizing your skills in front of the class – basically, everything he could do to embarrass yourself and to show your classmates that you weren’t as smart as you wanted to introduce yourself.

“What?” the boy asked in confusion, his fingers squeezing the silver quill he was using to take notes from a booked that seemed to be about Transfiguration – a subject where you were at the top of the class, as Professor McGonagall told you proudly.

“I asked if I could stay here,” you repeated in a quiet voice, not wanting to disturb the rest of the people who were struggling with their work. “All the tables are taken and that’s my spot, usually,” you added when he frowned his brows, scanning the room.

“Yeah, whatever,” he said careless, going back to his piece of parchment. “That’s my spot usually, too, but I haven’t seen you here,” he whispered as you sat down, in front of him.

“I don’t think we share classes, so I think we don’t go to the library at the same time. But maybe it could be our spot from now on.” Your explanation made the blonde boy look away, his cheeks running paler while the skin of his neck, revealed by the crack of his unbottoned shirt, seemed to burn.

The silence fell on you two, the room being filled only with whispers and quills running their ink on the papers. You really had to impress Snape with that essay, you had enough of his comments and ugly looks – he was a great teacher, a very skilled person, but he had a horrible way to be human – that if he could be considered a human being. Deep down you feared Snape – his cold eyes, his fluttering cloak and his loud steps: all of that gave you goosebumps all over your body. Thinking of those you felt your breath tangling up in your throat, and the letters started to dance in front of your eyes. At first, you looked around the room, searching for the Weasley twins, but it wasn’t a prank: it was the stress which took control over your mind, playing tricks and messing with you. Your throat was dry, and every time you tried to swallow your saliva it felt like you had sand in your mouth. Your tablemate seemed to notice your discomfort, because he looked at you under his eyelashes, his right brow raising in confusion or annoyance.

“What are you doing?” he asked, now looking at you without any reservation.

“Hm?” you buzzed, making eye contact with him. You couldn’t figure out if he was surprised by your daring glare, or intimidated or amused – he only kept on looking into your eyes, not revealing any true emotion.

“You keep on swallowing and it looks like you’re drowning or something.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” you smiled politely, which made him go back to his work. But when you kept on acting like you couldn’t breathe, he dropped his quill on the table and look like you with frustration. “What?”

“You’re distracting me, obviously,” he rolled his eyes. “Some of us are trying to focus, so keep quiet or leave.”

It was very rude of him – in your opinion – to talk to you, a complete stranger, like he could give you orders; especially when you did nothing wrong.

“Me too,” you sighed, “It’s only that…” But you stopped in the middle of the sentence, reminding that you didn’t know who you were talking to, and he probably didn’t care.

“Only what?” he asked, making you look at him again. His face was blank – relaxed, like he was an emotionless metal can.

“I’m not that good with Potions, so I’m struggling a little bit,” you smiled with shame, not knowing exactly why you felt that way admitting you weren’t good at something.

“We all are struggling,” he said like it wasn’t a big deal, pointing to his Transfiguration book. “Some of us on simple things, I see,” he commented after he took a sight at the books you chose and the big title you wrote on the parchment.

“Then maybe we could help each other,” you proposed, smiling at him in a friendly nature. He didn’t seem to understand your idea, given the frowned brows and half eyes that were starring at you. “I’m good at Transfiguration, the best if we’re to follow McGonagall’s words, so I could help you if you help me with my Potions essay.”

He took a moment to think, looking back and forward to your books and his, to your parchments and his – yours were filled with paragraphs and his were decorated with meaningless drawings. “I only need some notes, it’s not fair to do your whole essay in exchange of some stupid phrases,” he said like you were trying to fool him.

You chuckled and leaned back on your chair. “Yeah, nothing’s free,” you smiled, “Ok, then I’ll write your notes and you’ll write me the main ideas – after that I’ll write it on my own.” He stayed thoughtful and quiet, looking at your face; you tried hard not to run your fingers to your cheek, searching for dirt or anything that had him starring. “Deal?” you asked.

He held out his hand in your direction. “Deal,” was his only response, waiting for you to conclude the pact. And you did – you gently shook his hand, the skin of his palm feeling smooth against your own, like he was using lots of lotion every night before going to bed. But it was a nice feeling, which led a wave of warmth all over your body along with a good premonition about how he’d do your homework and him, in general.

The two of you switched your belongings, the only item that wasn’t switch being the quills – he was holding his like it was the biggest treasure he ever had; and maybe it was, you thought. Maybe it had an emotional story and he wanted to keep the quill only because of the memories it hold, but maybe he was only careful with what belonged to him. You never really had anyone to help you with your work – when you were a child your parents encouraged you to keep on trying by yourself in order to succeed, and you grew up avoiding other’s help, only to prove them that you could do it alone. After a while, in your third year of Hogwarts, you wanted to be helped, but it seemed like your older housemates were too busy and the ones your age were looking for you to help them. So, to be in the library on a Friday afternoon, helped by a boy you never crossed paths with before seemed like a new – and somehow exciting – experience. It was nice to write on the parchments which had their edges and corners filled with something that seemed to be flowers or some kind of plant with curled leaves. You often asked him questions about what you should or shouldn’t write, and depending on his answer you’d write down more explicit notes, as he kept on commenting how many useless things you’ve wrote in your essay by far – but he was funny, telling you that you should give Snape the essay the way it is so maybe you all could be lucky and get rid of the sulky teacher sooner than expected.

After some time, they boy looked at the silver watch on his left wrist and put down the quill. “My study time’s over,” he announced and you also put down the writing instrument, handing him the papers you tried to write as eligible as you could. “That’s all?” he asked and scoffed.

“Actually, I have more things to add, but…” You tried to say, but he already began to gather his things, closing the Transfiguration book and folding the parchments. “We could meet tomorrow, or Sunday,” you proposed and also got up when he did. You tried to make eye contact with him one more time, not paying that much attention to the height difference between you two.

“Again?” he spoke, fulfilling your wish. His eyes were mesmerizing – such a light blue, reminding you of a sunny sky.

“Yeah, I mean, if you want – it would be beneficial for both of us to finish what we started.”

And he thought that way too, because the next day he was already in the same spot of the library, all by himself, trying to decipher the entangled letter you wrote the other day. “Maybe Snape doesn’t like you because of your handwriting,” he said when you sat down, making you smile and chuckle – an action that caused him to have a little smile in the corner of his lips, too. And those smiles continued to grow on your faces, because besides the theoretical information you two changed, there were also a little funny comment slipped through the conversation.

“See you tomorrow?” you asked while gathering your things, because that time you were the one who needed to leave earlier.

“I can’t,” he simply said. “I have to study.”

“Isn’t that the reason we met here today?” you laughed, “To study together?”

“No, we met today to finish our deal – which is pretty much done,” he explained in a plain voice, pointing to the pages in your hand. The structure of the essay was done; you only needed to put it all together and his Transfiguration notes were enough for him to understand better the subject.

“Oh,” you said in a whisper. “Yeah, right, thank you…” you smiled to him, whishing that he’d realize that you two never introduced each other properly, but he only returned the smile in a polite way.

“You’re welcome,” was all he said and went back to his book, trying to put head to head the theory you made and the information from the book.

That Saturday you left the library with a strange feeling of loneliness – he was a stranger, but he helped you concentrate and also helped you with something that – maybe – was the most important opportunity for you to shut Snape’s mouth. That day flew by without you even realizing, but at night you found yourself thinking about the boy who tapped his fingers on the wooden surface anytime he’d search for the right words but couldn’t stand a strange breathing near him, and a pair of iced eyes was present in your dreams, doing nothing more than watching you with all the possible emotions mirroring in them.

“How was your weekend by far, Hermione?” you asked the girl only to break the strange silence between you two. She was looking for a specific book, and it happened to bump into her when you came to the library to continue your work.

It was a few hours after lunch, on a sunny Sunday when most of the students preferred to study or to simply hang out in the courtyards, lying on the grass. It wasn’t very weird that you had to deal with all those stares when you went to the library on such a beautiful day. You weren’t a bookworm or a nerd, but it was a special thing and you really wanted to have it all done by the end of Monday at least, so you wouldn’t be loaded with other things.

“It was… acceptable,” she responded and shrugged, going back to look for that book on the selves. “As acceptable as it could be a weekend spend in the company of Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley,” she continued and you laughed. She was the brain of that trio, and it might be stressful to be their friend – but you were pretty sure it wasn’t that horrible since she stayed by their side for so long. “What about you?” she returned the question, giving up on her searching as she couldn’t find the right book.

Hermione followed you to your usual table, situated in a corner of the room, where the rays of sun came through the wide window and lighted all the pages. You sat down, leaving aside the parchments for some moments of chatting with your friend. “It was… fun,” you smiled, “I was here two days in a row doing homework.”

Hermione laughed while flipping the pages gently. “And Ronald says I’m the one who needs to sort out her priorities.”

“No,” you rolled your eyes, “It was fun because I had a study buddy. It was really nice,” the explanation made the girl leave her book and watch you with sudden interest. You knew Hermione wasn’t the type who gossip, so her attention was pure curiosity.

“Who?”

“I don’t really know,” you sighed, a little disappointment in your voice as you looked at your fingers, which were unconsciously tapping on the table. “We never made a proper introduction.”

The Gryffindor girl played with the zipper of her hoodie, looking like he was trying to remember all the persons who ever entered that room. “How was he looking?”

Handsome was the first word you wanted to say, as a joke, but a discarded book landed on your table, right on top of your papers and made you looks at the person whose shadow was covering your face.

“What is she doing at our spot?”

“Malfoy,” Hermione growled with hatred, “I don’t think your father bought the tables in the entire library, too,” she said and made the boy look at her with as much venom as a snake could carry.

So he was Malfoy – the mean boy Hermione would mention from time to time, the one who’d always have a harsh word to tell Ron and the one who despised The Chosen One so much. Your timetable never interfered with their, and you’d usually spend your weekends and breaks with some classmates you were friends with, so you never really crossed path with that Malfoy boy. You knew about him, but you didn’t know him – not until then.

“I wasn’t talking to you, Mudblood; learn to speak only when spoken to,” he said in a mockery tone, his eyes going back to you.

You looked at him, and then at Hermione, who seemed to search in you something you couldn’t actually find. “Well?” he repeated, but there was no response from you.

“What does he mean, Y/N? Your spot?” she asked, her voice cracking at the end.

“He’s… my study buddy,” you spoke and Malfoy raised his brow at the appellative, while Hermione froze.

“I’ll leave you with your study buddy, then,” she whispered to you and left, not before taking the book that was thrown on the table by the Slytherin boy.

Your hand was shaking when you grabbed the quill, going back to finish the essay that you started to properly write last night in your dormitory. “Yeah, take my scrap, you filthy Mudblood,” he commented and watched Hermione leave. He then sat down, in front of you, slightly pushing away from him the chair were your friend sat some seconds ago. “Don’t tell me she’s following you around like a little puppy,” he laughed and you looked at him in confusion.

“She’s my friend,” you simply said.

The confusion was now on Malfoy’s face. “Friend?” he scoffed.

“Don’t you have friends?”

“Plenty,” he responded quickly. “But my friends have my back when I’m in an argument.”

You shrugged and looked down again to your essay. “I’m a neutral person, I’m not picking sides,” you explained. He watched you write without any other interruption, but you were feeling weird to be aware of his presence in your perimeter and being as talkative as a fish. “What are you doing here?” you asked as you wrote your name at the bottom of the last paper. He quickly grabbed them all, smiling at your expression.

“I made some free time to come and read our final product.” He went back to be silent, his blue eyes running from left to right in order to read all the things you wrote more calligraphic, only thinking about his comment and about the nice letters he used to make the summary yesterday. “It’s good,” he said proudly, like it was his own.

“Really?” you asked shyly, not ready to have a criticism on that yet.

“Yes, I see you kept some of my phraseology,” he smiled in a kind way, returning the parchments to you.

“It was really well structured,” you laughed and ran a hand through your hair, blushing when you saw him starring intensely at your face – you really wanted to ask him if there was something on your face.

“It’s perfect, Y/N,” he repeated, “Snape can’t say otherwise. It’s nearly as good as mine are,” he assured you. His response made you laugh loudly, gaining some hissing from Madam Pince; your hands went to your mouth, covering it, and the boy looked at you with amusement.

“Thank you, Malfoy,” you whispered, scared to talk even in a quiet way. You knew how much the librarian hated the loud students, and you really didn’t want to be one of them. To be on her blacklist was something no one really wanted.

“Call me Draco,” he asked and got up. “I have to go, but I’m sure your work will be appreciated tomorrow.”

“It’s for Friday, actually.”

“So you had a week to do it, but you did it right away?” he laughed this time, but he seemed careless at Madam’s Pince hiss.

“What?” you pouted, already annoyed by his laugh. You knew what he was going to say, and it made you somehow ashamed.

“Nothing,” he said to your surprise, “It’s just that… I’ve never seen somebody to be that ambitious when it comes about school.”

“So you don’t make fun of me,” you thought out loud, making him chuckle again.

“Why would I make fun of you for being a determined person?” he asked and you returned his smile, more shyly, and waved him goodbye as you saw him walking away.

It was the last moment when you saw Draco Malfoy – Monday morning you looked for him in the Great Hall at breakfast, lunch, dinner and even after classes – but due to the large amount of students, he was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t put a foot in the library, because you stayed there awhile, doing your homework or reading – more like pretending to do any of those – but he never came. It was like he was swallowed by a big black hole and forgotten by all the people in Hogwarts. Nobody near you mentioned his name, and you didn’t dare to ask Hermione about him after the ‘study buddy’ situation. She said it was all fine between you two, because she knew about your neutral personality. It was simple: you never got into fights yourself or got involved when other people would argue – it was simple that way. You asked her if she was alright after Draco said all those things to her, of course, but when she told you it was alright you didn’t insisted more.

Friday came faster than you had thought and you were quite nervous to hand Snape your essay. All your classmates wished you good luck, even if they were in the exact same situation as you were – not quite the same, actually, because you were the only one asked to stay over class so the Potions Master could have a word with you.

“You wanted to talk to me, Professor?” you asked when the rest of the students left you all alone with Snape, who sat in the front of the class, hands crossed over his chest and a frowned look on his face.

“Obvious,” he spoke in his monotone voice, coming closer to your desk. “What is this, Miss L/N?” he asked, throwing in front of you the essay, all the pages spreading on the table.

“My essay, Sir,” you told him confident, already preparing your speech about how hard you worked on it and how he couldn’t say it was a piece of trash.

“Your essay?” he asked serious, and then he faked a laugh. “I think you mean Mister’s Malfoy essay,” he then handed you another parchment, with Draco’s name on it, neatly written.

You read a few phrases from his work, but there was nothing alike between them aside some expressions – the ones Draco observed you kept from his notes. “I didn’t steal his work, Sir,” you said in a quiet voice, not daring to look him in the eyes. You didn’t need to do that to know how mad he was.

“You didn’t steal it, you copied it.”

“No, I…” but he already made up his mind. He asked you to leave, informing you that you’d get more work to do, along with a week of detention.

Your blood was boiling and you only wanted to scream how much you hated everything: how much you hated Snape, for being a prick, how much you hated yourself, for not being able to do your own homework alone and how much you hated Draco, for ‘helping’ you and then disappearing – but he didn’t disappear, because he was in the end of the corridor, all by himself, his hands on his trousers’ pockets, standing in an elegant posture leaning on the wall. The dark always present on the Dungeons made him look paler that he seemed in the library’s sunrays, but the blue of his eyes was still remembering you of the clear sky in the moment he heard your steps.

“Y/N,” he greeted you from afar, a little smile growing on the corner of his lips. “How was…” but you didn’t give him the occasion to finish his sentence, leaving the dark corridor in a hurry.

It was odd that after a week of thinking only about him, about the blue of his eyes, about the way his voice would seem lighter when he was holding back his laugh, about the cute way he’d smile only a half of joy, you ran away from his presence like he was your worst nightmare when, in fact, he was present in your sweetest dreams.

It was your desire to be alone the one which made you isolate yourself in your room for some good hours, crying and hitting the pillows, throwing them in the walls and then gathering them, only to throw them again. You felt the way Snape’d describe your skills, work or everything you did: trash – you felt like trash. You thought about going to dinner with your housemates when you heard them leaving the Common Room, but you realized that Snape’s face, eating at the teachers’ table would’ve turned your stomach upside down. So you stayed there for another hour, thinking about everything and nothing in particular; you just knew that you were sick of it, sick of everything and you just needed a break.

And that’s what you did: you took a break. You left the dormitory only undressing yourself from the blue robes and went running on the empty corridors. When you left, you weren’t sure where you’d go – but you found yourself in the Astronomy Tower, watching the entire yard and the environs of the castle. The sky was painted in pastel colors, the sun bathing in the red color of the lake. It was beautiful and you wanted nothing than to be the same with all of it.

“I hate it all!” you screamed looking up to the sky, closing your eyes. “I hate Severus Snape!” you screamed again, opening your eyes and looking down. It was a long, long way to the bottom, where the cobbled paths would wait. “I hate that he managed to make me feel so useless,” now you whispered, tightening the metal balustrade between your palm until they became white. You shook the metal as hard as you could, but it stood still; the effort left you breathless, but you still managed to scream from the bottom of your lungs: “I hate myself!”

You had no idea where that came from – it was the first time you thought that way about you, but it felt very honest. You hated how much pressure you’ve put on your shoulders and now that you were too weak to carry it all, you felt worthless. The only thing you knew was that you were crying, so hard that your sobs didn’t let you hear the steps approaching you in such a hurry. The force of the hand that grabbed your elbow was unexpected, making you stumble on your own legs. The warm feeling immediately invaded your whole body as soon as you fell in a pair of arms, which were holding you hard enough not to fall to the ground.

“What the hell were you doing, Y/N?!” he screamed, the image of his face being blurred because of the tears in your eyes. You blinked a few times and there he was: Draco Malfoy, with a worried look on his face but with the same beautiful blue eyes.

“Draco…” you whispered and grabbed the material of his white shirt, “What are you doing here?” you managed to ask without your voice cracking.

“You didn’t come to dinner, and after the way you walk away from earlier…” he said and became paler, “But what were you doing? Don’t tell me you tried to…”

But you shook your head in negation faster than the words he said. “No, of course not,” you said trying to convince yourself more than him. “I was just… having a moment,” you explained and withdrew from his arms, hugging yourself to calm down.

“What happened, Y/N?” he asked again and touched your shoulders, his hands burning the skin under your uniform shirt.

“Snape said I copied your essay,” you succeed to whisper after a long silence, the tears coming back into your eyes.

His brows went lower, his mouth in a line. “Have you told him that I helped you?”

“No,” you said, now crying again. He wiped away a tear that rolled on your cheek. “He told me to leave before I could say anything, and now I have detention a whole week.”

“Sh, sh, sh,” he hummed as he pulled you back into his arms, one of his hands laying on your back as the other one was caressing your hair. “You don’t need to cry,” he spoke gently and his movements became clumsy as you cried even harder. “I’ll take care of it, Y/N,” he assured you and suddenly, your tears dried up.

“What?” you asked, looking into his eyes.

“I… I’ll talk to Snape about it,” he repeated, “It’s not fair to act that way towards you when your essay was so good.”

All the parts of your body were screaming to kiss him only because he was that near to you. But you were too puzzled up to even hear those screams in your head. “You’ll get in trouble too, Draco.”

“No,” he smiled. “Let’s say that Snape owns my father one,” he smiled devilish, and contrary his expectations you smiled like you haven’t been crying until then.

“But why are you doing that?” you laughed and tried not to freak out because he was still holding you.

“So you could own me one later,” he continued to smile even after you hit them slightly in chest. “What? Nothing’s free, remember?”

You bit your cheek, trying to hold back a smile. “Yeah, sure.”

“So we have a deal?”

“No,” you said and raised a brow. “We have a deal only if you don’t get yourself in trouble by talking to Snape or, even worst, getting me into a bigger mess. You need to succeed in order to have a deal.”

“That sounds like a deal to me,” he smirked and ran a hand through his blonde hair, which seemed more like gray in the light given by the moon.

“We have a deal, then,” you laughed and tighten up a bit the grip on his shirt.

“Don’t ever stay that close to the edge again,” he asked you and you could see the same feeling of anxiety on his face. You nodded your head in agreement and he hugged you again. “You scared the shit out of me,” he confessed.

It was the first time in your life when you felt that somebody was truly worried about you. Your parents would’ve just watch you break down and then get up and try again, telling you that it’s the normal way to educate yourself. But that night, in his arms, you felt that you weren’t the same lonely child. It was a warm feeling, a feeling of a new burning in your heart. And it was a nice feeling.

I fell in your arms tonight / I fell hard in your arms tonight / It was nice

You agreed to meet Draco the next day in the Astronomy Tower half an hour before the dinner would finish and you were surprised to see him already there, welcoming you with the same somehow evil smirk he had the other day.

“You own me one,” he said without even waiting for you to say something. “Snape told me he’ll forget about the detention, but you need to make some rephrasing on your essay.” He was proud of his manipulative skills and you could see it in his eyes – there was a little sparkle as you approached him.

“Good job, Draco,” you said smiling from an ear to the other. “I guess I own you one.”

“Yes, yes you do.”

You look over the skyline and went closer to the balustrade, Draco following you closely even after you sat down on the stone floor, your legs hanging on the outside. You seemed to be secure enough, so Draco sat down and looked at the sunset as well.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You already did,” he puffed and you punched his shoulder, smiling.

“You’re an idiot, you know what I mean.”

“Why am I an idiot?” he asked and turned to face you with an ugly look.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it like that!” you told him quickly. “I call my friends that way when they say something dumb but they’re funny at the same time,” you explained, ashamed that you offended him.

He was silent for a moment and looked at the lake again. “My father uses that term to talk about incompetent people,” he said and you looked away from his face.

“I guess it’s a way to use it, too,” you spoke shy.

“Why do you want to ask me?” he changed the subject, removing the awkward tension between you two.

“Why did you called Hermione Granger that word?” you asked cautious not to upset him with your curiosity.

“That’s what she is,” he said nonchalantly, “She’s a Mudblood, and she is inferior to us.”

“Only because of her blood?” you laughed. “And how do you know I’m not inferior to you too?”

“I made my research on you before talking to you again,” he shrugged.

“She’s superior to both of us in many ways, Draco,” you told him and looked at him in the moment he did the same. “She lives in another world at the same time she lives in this one,” you explained, “We were born surrounded by magic and that’s our only way of living.”

He lour. “Why do you say that?”

“I take the Muggle Studies class,” you smiled proudly.

“Why would you do that?” he scoffed. If you ignored his mentality on that subject, you could say he was really cute.

“It’s interesting,” you started. “They have many objects we have no idea about and they have fairy tales about anything – they’re kind of superstitious.”

“Superstitious?” he asked like he was curious and not like he wanted to mock you.

“Yeah,” you said and got up. “Maybe I’ll tell you about some superstitions one day.”

“Tomorrow night,” he asked you and got up as well.

“You want to know more about Muggles?” you laughed.

He shrugged. “It’s your chance to prove me they’re not inferior to us.”

“Ok,” you smiled and took the challenge.

You left the Tower walking by his side, and your heart skipped a beat when you realized that he walked you to your Common Room door, wishing you a goodnight. The next day Professor Snape wanted to talk to you again after class, this time apologizing for the way he managed the situation, but you could tell he wasn’t very pleased with what he was saying. When the dinner was nearly finished, you could see Draco leaving the Great Hall without looking in your direction and you knew it was the signal to get up and do the same thing after some minutes. You thought it’d be better if nobody would know where you were going and with who.

“Ready to learn about Muggles?” you asked him with joy as soon as you got in the highest place in Hogwarts.

“Whatever,” he laughed and rolled his eyes.

You brought a book you got last year on your birthday from Hermione, a book about a lot of things the Muggles believe in. You read out loud some pages and Draco only sat next to you, listening. It was somehow therapeutic to read in front of him because he didn’t disturb you, he even looked like he was enjoying it.

“So they even have a specific flower for when somebody dies?” he asked out of a sudden. He was really paying attention.

“Yeah, in some countries,” you smiled. “In Italy, France or Belgium – where it’s made the best chocolate – the white chrysanthemum is well known to be brought at somebody’s funeral. But they also represent loyalty and devoted love, so I think it makes it even more beautiful. They’re my favorites,” you smiled.

“A flower that represents the death is your favorite?” he laughed, making you roll your eyes. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I’ve never seen a chrysanthemum, and that’s something, considering the fact that my mother has a gigantic garden.”

He was often talking about his mother and you deducted that he’s a mummy boy – it was cute to know that he loved his mother dearly.

“I would love to see it,” you smiled politely.

“Maybe you will,” he said and caught you by surprise. “I mean, maybe you’ll see a garden as big as my mother’s,” he clarified when he observed those big eyes of yours.

“Yeah,” you said in a quiet voice, looking back into your book.

“What?” he asked and you didn’t respond him.

You were… sad? Disappointed? It was a strange and groundless feeling given by the idea that you’ll never see the garden of his house, and that also meant that you’ll never meet his mother, who was already painted in your mind like an elegant and kind woman.

“Are you upset?” he asked again and grabbed your jaw carefully, making you form eye contact.

“No,” you said simply, and the honesty in your voice surprised you. It was like all the hard feelings were erased by his eyes, by their calming color.

“Good,” he smiled, “Because you shouldn’t be upset.”

“Why?” you asked.

“I’ll bring you all the flowers from my mother’s garden if you’re not upset,” he traced his fingers up to your cheek, placing a strand of hair behind your red ear – all your emotions ran to your head, making the skin he touched burn.

“Why?” you asked again like a curious kid.

He rolled his eyes in a playful way, trying to pretend he was tired of your whys. “Because a pretty face like yours shouldn’t frown. You’ll get wrinkles,” he laughed and pinched your nose.

“Auch,” you hissed, massaging the end of your nose. “You say I’m pretty?”

“I say it’s time to get you back to your Common Room,” he nodded his head and got up, offering you his hand to help you get up.

The walk to the Ravenclaw’s door was silent, and when you got there it was an even more annoying silence. He only watched you like he was waiting for your next move.

“Uh, I can’t come tomorrow night,” you informed him. “I have to help my roommate study for Transfiguration.”

“So she’s stealing my study buddy,” he joked.

“I’ll see you around, though?”

“Yeah, of course,” he smiled and you just wanted to kiss that little dimple of his.

So you did – you got up to your toes and kissed his cheek. “Good night, Draco,” you smiled and entered the empty room, all your housemates already being off to their dormitories, probably. Your heart was pouting hard, like it was trying to escape the little cage of your ribs, but your soul was feeling warm and sweet, like honey.

The next day you tried to focus in all your classes, you tried to pay attention to your friends but all you could think of was Draco Malfoy, with his blue eyes and sweet dimple. It was a boring night the one you spent in your room, listening and explaining to your roommate simple things about your Transfiguration class, the same ones that Draco found difficult – even that made you think about him. It was a great relief to walk again on the stairs that led you to the Astronomy Tower, the excitement making your heart jump with joy. It dropped to the bottom of your soul when you didn’t find him there, and it broke when he didn’t come at all.

Maybe you scared him – maybe he didn’t want you to kiss his cheek, maybe he didn’t want you so close to him. Maybe you screwed it up. And you really believed that when he didn’t come two nights in a row, making you to skip dinner on the third night. You didn’t have the power to cry again, but you really wanted to – you nearly managed to get a tear out of you if it wouldn’t be eagle owl which entered your room through the open window.

“What’s up with you, stupid bird?” you asked in anger, making the owl give you a response in the same tonality. “Easy,” you spoke as you took the little parchment from its claw.

‘You didn’t come to dinner, are you sick? If you are, take a good sleep and get better. — D.M'

You crumbled the little letter and thrown it away telling the bird to leave you alone. You walked from left to right, biting your nails out of anxiety and anger – who was he to ignore you three days and then ask to meet you? You grabbed the letter from the floor and read it again, and the curiosity won against your anger. You grabbed a blue sweater and ran to the Astronomy Tower, but walked the steps so he wouldn’t know the speed with which you came. You were furious at him – you couldn’t wait to scream at him and tell him to fuck off with his unhealthy behaviors, but when you saw him leaning on the stone wall in front of you with a bouquet of white flowers in his hand and a small box on the other one, you just froze on the last step.

“Hello, Y/N,” he greeted you with a smile on the corner of his lips. You approached him slowly; your eyes going from his face go his hands and back to his hands. “I see you’re not sick,” he said when you were in front of him. “Why haven’t you come to dinner?”

“Why didn’t you give me a sign of living?” you asked straight, searching for his eyes.

“I was… busy,” he said and cleared his throat. “But I asked my mother to get me those,” he smiled and handed you the bouquet of chrysanthemums and the little box. “Open it,” he asked impatient.

You undone the little bow and opened it with one hand, the other holding carefully the flowers. Your hands were shaking. “Chocolate,” you laughed nervous.

“From Belgium, just like the flowers,” he said proud, smiling. “Don’t you like them?” he asked a little panicked when you didn’t say a thing, only watching the flowers in such an examining way.

“I love them!” you said, “I love them, Draco,” you assured them, holding them to your chest like you were scared he’d get them back.

“Good, I hoped you’d say that.”

You smelt them, and your whole soul was dancing – the sweet smell reminded you of the late autumn’s rains, of the lazy sunrays and all the nice skies in the world.

“I love them Draco, but what’s the occasion?”

He massaged the back of his head, avoiding your eyes. “You don’t need a reason to get flowers, Y/N. You deserve them anytime,” he said and your heart exploded at his cuteness. “My mother told me it’d be nice if I would give them to you before anything else,” he said and bite his lower lip immediately after, like he said something he didn’t mean to.

“Before what, Draco?” you asked curious. He was so good at making you all set on fire, unfocused and yet so, so concentrated on him.

“You’re a nice girl, Y/N, really nice,” he said in a quiet voice. His tonality made you thought about a break-up – like he wanted to break the bond that began to form between you two.

“What are you trying to tell me, Draco?” you asked in a harsh tone. “Just say it, ok? You don’t need to bring me flowers and chocolate if you want to say goodbye, it’s not like I’m dying,” you said pointing to the chrysanthemums.

“No, no, Y/N,” he interrupted you. “The white chrysanthemums represent loyalty and devoted love,” he whispered.

“Oh,” was all you could say. “Oh,” you repeated when you figured out what he really meant.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, and you laughed along with him. The sound of his laugh made your heart put itself back together. “So…” he started and came closer to you.

“So?” you said, biting your lips and blinking slowly.

“So may I kiss you, Y/N?” he asked in such a kind voice, all your body going soft at his words. His mother must’ve taught him how to talk to a girl – and she did such a good job.

You nodded shyly and let yourself carried by his hands, which dragged your body closer to his. He gently pressed his lips on your, letting them stay together for a couple of seconds and then retiring. His blue eyes were looking into yours, burning with desire and impatience. Your hands tightened the flowers and the little box harder, and you put them around his neck, getting him even closer to you and smashing your lips back together. His hands were on your waist, grabbing the material of your sweater between his fingers. Your eyes were closed and your body was filled with warmth – you saw nothing and yet, somehow, you were aware of everything in the Universe through a white light.

White light in your arms tonight / I lost sight in your arms tonight / It was nice

The next months were full of love and laughs for you – Draco was the most careful boy you’ve ever been with. He still wanted you two to have secret little dates in the Astronomy Tower, where you’d read to him about Muggles and poetry written by them.

“Don’t you think it’s kinda cute that I listen to you reading about that non-sense?” he asked once.

“It’s poetry, Draco,” you scoffed, “It’s about love!”

Besides the secret dates, he really wanted to go public. He was the type to show you off in front of everyone, only to make sure that every other boys knew that you were off their league but in a kind way – he’d kiss your forehead on the hallways, walk you to classes even if that meant he’d be late to his and gave you endless gifts. You received a lot of chrysanthemums, love letters and sweets anytime his mother would send him a package. Your roommates were jealous of you even if they told you directly that they didn’t like Draco and there was nothing to do about it. Hermione wasn’t so happy either and somehow distanced herself from you when she found out about your relationship, but Draco made you to forget all those things – he was the bad guy in everyone’s story, and even if some time ago he wasn’t even a side-character in yours, he became the climax of your story. You didn’t love Draco for his gift, you loved him truly – you loved him for the kind words, the warm glares, the sweet kisses and the tight hugs. And you knew he loved you too, because he made you feel safe in the whole madness with the Dark Lord and the war everyone was talking about.

“Do you think there’ll be a war, Draco?” you asked one night when you two where curled up into each other’s arms.

“I don’t know, Y/N,” he said absent.

“I heard that Harry’s forming an army,” you said and looked up to him, only to see him rolling his eyes.

“Potter isn’t capable to tie his own laces, my love, and you think he’s able to lead an army?” he laughed and that made you roll your eyes. “You’re funny.”

“But you’re the only one taking it as a joke, you’re the one who’s laughing,” you said and he frowned.

“Then I think I have to change that,” he said and his fingers came to your ribs, tickling you.

You started to laugh hard, to fight so you could escape his torture, begging him to stop. “Draco, that’s enough!” you screamed as you felt tears in your eyes, so you grabbed his arm and tried to scratch him playfully to make him stop.

Hissing, he let you go and pulled away from you, his hand over the left arm.

“What’s wrong, baby?” you asked worried that you hurt him.

“Nothing,” he said in an annoyed voice, getting up on his feet and looking down to you. “I’m fine,” he said and something in your mind clicked. For more than two weeks he’d say that stupid phrase whenever you asked him what happened – he seemed tired and anxious, but whenever you’d ask about him he’d become fine.

“Don’t try to fool me, Draco,” you said annoyed as well and, already on your feet, you’d try to grab his hand and reveal the possible wound.

“I said I’m fine, Y/N,” he repeated and avoided your hands like they’d burn him.

“And I said to stop fooling me!” you shouted and sneaked close enough to him to get his hand away from his arm, but he pushed you harder than he thought – you fell on the ground, a piece of material in your hand; his sleeve – ripped, revealing red lines, scratches – who were older, but reopened by your nails – which were covering the worst thing you could think of: the Dark Mark. The air left your lungs and your head started to spin, the vision becoming blurred.

“Y/N…” he tried to say, coming closer to you but you crawled away.

“What the fuck, Draco?!” you screamed and got up by yourself. “Stay away!” you said when he tried to approach you.

“I can explain, Y/N,” he said, his voice shaking.

“How on earth you could explain the Dark Mark on your arm?” you shouted again, your hands running in your hair and pulling it.

“Sh,” he said loud, asking you to be quiet. “It’s not what it looks like, my love, I swear.”

You laughed – loud, nervous. “Then what it is?”

“They made me do it, Y/N!”

“They made you get the Dark Mark, become a fucking Death Eater and join Voldemort?” you screamed again and step back when he tried to come closer.

“My father, he… I didn’t want to, Y/N,” he said quietly, his eyes starting to get wet.

“You lied to me, Draco,” you whispered. “You said everything will be fine, you said you’ll protect me!”

“And I will!” he also screamed. “I will,” he repeated breathing heavily.

“How? Making me join the Death Eaters so they wouldn’t kill me later?” you mocked him, and you could say it hurt him to see you that way – but you didn’t care.

“Nobody will kill you, Y/N,” he said, trying to calm you. “You’ll be fine, we’ll be fine.”

“A war is coming, Draco,” you said harshly, “The Dark Lord is alive and back and anyone who’s against him is in danger.”

“You’re not in danger, Y/N,” he repeated. “We’re in this together, please, love,” he begged you, tears running down his face.

“We’re not on the same side, Draco,” you whispered.

“I thought you didn’t like to pick sides,” he said like he was trying to make you change your mind.

“We’re talking about a war, Draco, not a fucking fight in the courtyard,” you said and shook your head. “Just… leave me alone, please,” you asked him and started to walk away.

“Y/N, please!” he grabbed your wrist but you pulled away immediately.

“Don’t touch me ever again, Draco Malfoy,” you said in hatred, giving him a disgusted look before leaving him alone in the Astronomy Tower – alone, hurt and crying. He saw the disgust in your eyes, the hate and the fear.

Hard times came for you – you decided to act like nothing was happening, like you had no idea what Draco was and a part of you felt miserable for doing so, but other part was believing him, the other part was still loving him and it was hurting to see him and not run in his arms. You decided to let the time pass and decide what would happen with everything – but the time was cruel, because nothing good happened since that night. Dumbledore’s death, the Death Eaters, the continuing agony. You became scared to stay alone, thinking that a Death Eater or even Voldemort would show up and kill you – and Draco wouldn’t be there to protect you.

But when the real battle began, you felt all the adrenaline rushing through your body – Professor McGonagall seemed worried but she gave you the power to fight back, to fight for Hogwarts, for your friends, for Harry, for life. You never tried to spell hexes because it wasn’t necessary, but in the battles you had with some Death Eaters you remembered them all – and you casted them loud, pointing your wand in their direction with hatred. You were running on the same old stairs that led you to the Astronomy Tower, a loud and crazy laugh following you along with a curly hair and dark, mad eyes, thirsty for blood.

“Stop running, little doll!” she screamed when you got up, waiting for her with your wand ready, something that made her laugh. “Stubborn one, aren’t you?” she asked and walked closer to you with tangled steps.

“Crazy one, aren’t you?” you managed to gather your nerve to ask her. She didn’t seem too happy with your comment, because she lifted her wand – before she’d say anything, you screamed the Disarming Charm as loud as you could, making her wand fly from her hand and fall to the ground.

“Well, well,” she laughed, running her tongue over her bloody lips. “You won, now kill me!” she laughed, the sound driving you crazy.

“Shut up! Just shut up!”

“Kill me!”

“Crucio!” you screamed and the green light flashed from the tip of your wand, hitting Bellatrix Lestrange in the middle of her chest. She fell to the ground, laughing – it was hurting, but Bellatrix have been insane for a long, long time.

“Y/N!”

“Draco?” you said to yourself, watching the boy you loved running to you. He grabbed your shoulders, looking at you from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes. “What are you doing here?”

“Are you alright? Did she hurt you?”

You looked at Bellatrix who was still to the ground, and you tighten your fingers around the wand.

“No,” you said and looked back to Draco. He seemed fine and a part of you wanted to scream that he was fine because he was one of them, they wouldn’t hurt him like that crazy woman tried to do to you, but the other part won that battle. You hugged him tight, wanting to make all the things disappear and be just you and him. “I’m scared, Draco,” you whispered.

“You’ll be fine, love,” he said and kissed your temple.

“So she’s the little doll that got you all soft, Draco?”

The fear ran through your body again and you pulled away from Draco, still holding his hands.

“Please,” he said and looked at the crazy woman who got her wand back. He let go of your hand and grabbed his wand, pointing it to her.

“Aw, Draco darling,” she laughed, “Does Cissy know that you’re pointing your want to your family?”Family?

“Aunt Bella, please, don’t hurt her,” Draco breathed heavily, not taking his eyes off of her.

“But she hurt me, Draco,” Bellatrix laughed, got her wand in your direction and casted an unspoken spell, only saying your name.

Draco tried to protect you, getting in front of you, but the purple light went through him and entered your body. The pain was indescribable, like all your internal organs were stabbed with hundred of knives. “No!” he screamed at his aunt, who only laughed louder and waved him goodbye before disappearing into a black cloud of smoke.

You’d feel your members go numb, dropping your wand and falling to the ground, making Draco to scream again like he could physically feel your agony. “Y/N!” he screamed.

Some balls of light were thrown in the tower’s direction, by the people outside, and they made the windows in the roof break, falling upon you along with pieces of tiles. Your sight went blurry, seeing Draco through red spots. “What’s happening, Draco?” you managed to ask him.

“You’re fine, my love,” he cried, tightening your shoulders, trying to hug you without hurting you.

“I can’t see you, hear you,” you cried and coughed; he started to sob even harder, watching the blood drop from your eyes and mouth as you tried to breathe. “I don’t feel very good,” you told him as it weren’t obvious.

“You’ll be alright, my love, stay with me,” he begged you.

His tears were falling on your face, mixing with the blood that was leaving your body – Bellatrix Lestrange chose a curse that gave you a slow and painful death.

“Hey, you,” you said, trying to make him pay attention to you. You looked him in the eyes, trying hard to see them clear. “Don’t you think it’s kinda cute?”

“What?” he whispered.

“Don’t you think it’s kinda cute,” you repeated, “That I died right inside your arms tonight?”

“No! No! No!” he said, his voice shaking. “Don’t you dare to do this to me, Y/N! Do you hear me? Stay with me!”

But you were gone – you left that world with a little smile on your lips, with bloody tears on your face and with the memory of his eyes watching you, of his arms holding you. And that made death a less painful thing for you.

That I'm fine even after I have died / Because it was in your arms I died

“No, Y/N!” he screamed, realizing you were gone. “Come back! Come back, Y/N, you own me one!”

“I’m sorry, Draco,” you whispered while watching him from behind – you could also see your lifeless body, laying on the ground with glass pieces, rocks and blood all over it and it made you cry. You floated over your body and tried the stupidest thing you could think of: going back inside. But it was impossible – it felt like it was locked. Bloody tears were falling from your eyes, and you damned Bellatrix Lestrange for giving you such an ugly death: you’ll cry blood for eternity on the Hogwarts’ halls as a ghost. “I want to come back, Draco!” you screamed at the same time when he asked you to come back.

I cry in the afterlife / I cry hard because I have died / And you're alive / I try to escape the afterlife / I try hard to get back inside / Your arms tonight

The battle was over: Lord Voldemort was now dead, Bellatrix Lestrange was dead along with other Death Eaters, but so were a lot of innocent people: now, some students would stay forever in the castle because they chose to remain behind; they, just like you, were too scared of death and chose an imitation of life. As a ghost, you didn’t really felt like showing to everyone; it hurt you enough to know they missed you, and to see their broken souls when they’d realize you’re trapped in this world as a ghost would be more painful than your death. You knew nothing about Draco for a long time – you stayed in the tower all the time, and you already knew that after some years, when the school would be rebuilt, the little kids would call you the ghost of the Astronomy Tower – that thought made you smile; maybe they’d call you Bloody Y/N, or Bloody Crybaby Y/N, or… whatever name would fit a blood-crying ghost. That’s how you spent many months – thinking, crying, whishing you’d have chose the death.

A loud cry woke you up one day – you looked over to the balustrade, where a tall figure was shaking while looking down, down all the way to the ground. “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said and you recognized him easily. “I’m so fucking sorry, my love,” he cried again and you approached him. On the ground, at his feet, was a bouquet of white chrysanthemums – they made your eyes tear up immediately.

“I promised you I’d protect you and I failed,” he whispered. “I hate myself since that day, my love,” he confessed.

To let him know about your presence was a bad idea – he’d be devastated to see you that way.

“I’ll see you soon, love,” he spoke to himself, or so he thought because he jumped in surprise when you screamed.

“Wait!”

“Y/N…” he cried, now facing you and crying harder. “You’re… alive?”

“Draco…” you sighed, “What are you doing here?”

He came closer and tried to hug you, but his arms went through you with ease. “You’re… a ghost.”

“Please don’t jump,” you said crying harder than him. It was a horrible image, indeed, to see a blood-crying ghost – but he was in love with you.

“I miss you, Y/N, I want to be with you,” he told you like he asked for permission.

But you shook your head in disapproval. “You won’t like it here, darling,” you smiled. “Please, stay – be happy and live.”

“I love you, Y/N, how could I live without you?” he cried like a little child, helpless.

You pointed to the flowers. “If your love is devoted, you’d spend the rest of your life fulfilling my wish, Draco.”

“Y/N…”

“Stay alive, Draco. I’ll be here, always,” you promised and cried.

He ran his hands through his hair, his blue eyes crying you a river. When he calmed down, he bent over and grabbed the flowers, handing them to you. You cried in pain, but still tried to get them – and you where surprised when you could.

“Come back to me, Y/N,” he said and you tried your best to make his wish come true. You tried to hug him, to kiss his forehead – he could swear he felt your cold skin on his.

“I wish I could, my love,” you said and stayed in front of him, with the sign of his devoted love in your hand.

And hey (hey), you (you), don't you think it's kinda cute / That I (I) try (try) to escape the afterlife / That I (I) try (try) to get back in your arms alive / That I died in your arms

#vogueweasley3k #draco malfoy x reader #ravenclaw reader #draco x y/n #slowburn #angst #arms tonite #draco x you #hogwarts #astronomy tower #tw death #tw blood #tw mature languge

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dirtyoatmeall · 3 years

Text

3 long years (Bokuto x reader)

A/N: So I finally am trying my hand at the secret kid trope. I know these are done a lot but I’ve had this idea in my head for days and I had to write it. I was originally going to do a series but decided to just do one part. (The dinosaur mentioned is Kamuysaurus) Timeskip Bokuto so beware of job spoilers!

Pairing: Bokuto x Fem pronouns/ fem assumed reader

Word Count: Over 5k! (im so sorry)

Warnings: Angst? Happy ending, exes to lovers, long fic

“Yua!” you call as you continue to shove toys into the small backpack. You smile as you hear the fast pitter-patter of feet before a quiet “Yes momma?” signaling your daughter had entered the room. You turn on your feet to face her, and smile softly at the toddler. She was gripping her favorite blanket in her hand and had one of her dinosaurs in the other. She was wearing an outfit she picked out and put on by herself, a pair of pink overalls and a white shirt with frogs underneath. Her hair was in pigtails per request, but you had a feeling by the time you picked her up it would be in braids.

You motioned for her to come to you, and you folded the blanket and placed it along with the plush in the bag. You helped her put on her shoes, which were different colors, and tied them slowly so she could watch. You patted her knees when you were done, blowing a raspberry on her cheek before standing and grabbing the bag you had packed. Yua hopped up, running out of the room for a moment before running back in, paper clutched in hand. You raised an eyebrow but didn’t question it, checking the time and grabbing your purse. You turn to your daughter, making sure you both have everything before reaching for her hand. She takes it and the two of you exit your apartment, stopping for a moment to lock up before heading to your car. You buckle Yua in her car seat, putting her bag below her feet before getting in the car yourself, putting on the Sofia the First soundtrack before driving off.

After a short while you pull in front of another apartment building, turning the car off and helping Yua from her seat. She takes her bag this time and holds your hand as you board the elevator. You let her push the button for the correct floor and watch as she jumps over the gaps in the floor as she exits. The two of you race to the apartment, her smiling and slightly panting as she waits for you. You smile and congratulate her on winning, letting her ring the doorbell of the apartment. She presses the buzzer four times, which would have been more if not for the look you shot her when she giggled. “I think he knows you’re here by now Yua” She simply shrugs and rocks on her feet while you wait at the door.

After a few moments the door opens, Tsukishima raises his eyebrow at your daughter who loudly greets him, “You know you’re gonna wake up Kaeru with all that ruckus.” Yua just sticks out her tongue and goes to run into the apartment, most likely to find the cat. You catch the back of her shirt, helping her take off her shoes and take her bag before releasing her. You shake your head as you watch her search for the cat, turning to the blonde.

“Thanks again for watching her Tsukishima, I know you’re having friends over later, I’ll try to be done by then.” He simply waves you off, taking Yua’s bag from you. “And like I said, its not a problem. All of them like kids, and we don’t have any plans besides being here, just focus on passing the test. You can even hang around after, I think I still have some of the gremlins pajamas here from last time.” You snort at the way Yua turned around slowly at the nickname, squinting up at Tsukishima.

She trotted over to you, tugging your sleeve down to whisper in your ear. You nod and stand up to your full height, digging the paper she had given you earlier out and handed it to the toddler. She unfolds it and presents it to Tsukishima. “Look Tsumki, I drew you a Kamu-, Kamyu-” She looked at you and you nodded encouragingly, “A Kamusamus!” She finished, smiling proudly, handing the picture to Tsukishima, who narrowed his eyes, pretending to scrutinize it before nodding. “Yep, that’s definitely a Kamusamus. I’ll tell you all about them later, How bout you say bye to your mom and we’ll go watch Atlantis?” Yua nodded frantically, hugging your thighs, letting you kiss her head before she ran to the couch. You said your goodbyes to Tsukishima before leaving for your university.

About an hour into the movie, the doorbell rang, causing Yua to stiffen. Tsukishima patted her head and paused the movie. “My friends are here, do you want to come meet them?” She nodded slowly, gripping the blondes fingers nervously and she walked with him to the door. She hid behind his legs as the others came into the apartment, gripping his jeans and peeking out before hiding again when she made eye contact with one of them. She hears a chuckle and peeks out again.

One of the taller ones had crouched down, smiling at her. She looked up to Tsukishima, who nodded to her, before she stepped out behind his legs, messing with the buckle of her overalls. “Hello.” She greeted in a small voice. The man continued to smile at her, “Hello to you too. My names Kuroo, I’m one of Tsukki’s friends, what’s your name?” She squeezed Tsukishima’s fingers before replying with her name. She chewed her lip, eyes flicking from Kuroo’s face to his hair. He chuckled and leaned his head forward, “You can touch it if you want.” She inhaled sharply and reached out tentatively, touching a small piece before running her hand into the mess of black hair, giggling at it’s softness. She tugs lightly on a piece before returning her hand to her overall buckle. Kuroo grins and stands up, taking off his shoes and moving to the kitchen.

Yua greets two others before the final person crouches before her. Her eyes move from her feet to the person in front of her and she gasps, eyes growing wide. “Bokkun!” She exclaims before raising her hands to look like claws and grins wide and sticks her tongue out. Bokuto and Tsukishima’s eyebrows raise and Bokuto copies her and laughs, “Oh I didn’t realize you were a fan!” Yua nods repeatedly, looking up to Tsukishima before lowering her voice, though not enough for the blonde not to hear, and she waves Bokuto closer. “Don’t tell Tsumki, but you’re my momma’s favorite. We watch all of your games!” Bokuto laughs and Yua leans back speaking in a louder voice, “Sorry but Tsumki is my favorite vomball player.” She tries to wink at Bokuto but fails. He ruffles her hair and stands, going to meet the others in the kitchen. Tsukishima grumbles and leads Yua after them.

After eating the pizza Akaashi had brought, Yua and the others move into the living room. She crawls onto the couch next to Kenma and tries to watch him play without being too near him, before he pauses and looks to her, “Do you wanna watch?” She nods shyly and he lets her sit in his lap as he continues to play, occasionally explaining what he’s doing. The others look on, Akaashi turning to Tsukishima, “I was surprised when you mentioned her being over, you don’t seem the type to babysit.” Kuroo nods in agreement, Bokuto still watching the toddler, there was just something about her that seemed so familiar to him, but he couldn’t quite place it.

Tsukishima shrugs, moving his attention from Yua to his friends. “I mean it’s not hard, I’ve known Yua since she was a year old, her mom and I are classmates.” Kuroo wiggled his brows, “Just classmates? Or are you trying to be Yua’s step-dad?” Tsukishima rolled his eyes, “No, we are just classmates, besides, she’s definitely still hung up on Yua’s dad. I haven’t really asked about him, but I guess they broke up when she got pregnant, he doesn’t know about it, but I can tell her mom misses him. She’s in the year above me, they would’ve been third years when she found out, she took a year to work before enrolling. You guys would like her, I invited her to hangout when she’s done.” Akaashi nodded and Kuroo hummed, the latter watched Bokuto, who had moved from where they were to the couch where Yua and Kenma were. Yua had moved from Kenma’s lap to Bokuto’s and the two were watching Moana on the TV while Kenma continued to play on his switch.

You’ve been sitting in your car for the last 5 minutes, you had finished your test early, and since there were only a few of you taking them the professor was able to get grades out the night of. You had just pulled in front of Tsukishima’s apartment when you got the notification that your test had been graded. Your eyes widened as you looked at the grade and your professor’s comments. You had thought you’d done pretty well, but the zero blazing on the screen told a different story. The test was 60% of your grade, and you’d just flunked it. Tears welled up in your eyes as you read your professor’s comments before shutting off your phone. You ran your hands through your hair, trying to steel your nerves and taking out your phone.

To: Tsukishima

Hey, I’m here. Is it ok if I meet you and Yua at the door? Apparently I totally failed the test, and that and the stress of having to move out tomorrow are messing with me.

From: Tsukishima

Yeah that’s fine, We can go over your test later too

You sent a quick thank you before wiping your eyes and making the trek up to his apartment. You knocked softly and sniffled. Tsukishima opened the door a moment later, Yua in his arms and her backpack slung over his shoulder. Yua was sleeping and you smiled before taking her in your arms. You brushed the hair from her face and kissed her forehead. You took the backpack and smiled at Tsukishima.

“Thanks for watching her, sorry we can’t stay longer, I’d love to another time I’m not crying” He smiled and ruffled your hair. “It’s fine, and I’ll see you tomorrow to help you move. I’ll see if my friends can help too if you’d like.” You adjusted Yua gently in your arms and nodded at the blonde. “That’d be a lot of help, you guys can stay over for dinner too. I’ll send you the address when we get home.” He nodded and you left, trying not to jostle Yua too much when you buckled her in her car seat. After getting home and putting her to bed you went to bed yourself. Sending Tsukishima the address before going to sleep.

You woke up bright and early the next day, wanting to get some last minute packing before Yua woke up. You had moved most of your boxes into the new apartment earlier in the week, now it was just clothes and the rest of the furniture. You dropped Yua off at your parent’s house and met Tsukishima at your apartment to move the final things into the truck. Kyotani and Koganegawa had helped move the heavier stuff into the moving truck before Tsukishima showed up, but they had to work so the two of you finished up. Tsukishima drove the truck to your apartment, apparently one of his friends lives in the same complex you were moving into, so him and the other two that could make it were going to meet Tsukishima there to help unload everything while you finished up things with your previous landlord and picked up Yua. The two of you swung by a bakery to pick up some sweets for Tsukishima and his friends to thank them before heading to your new apartment. You noticed the moving truck had been closed already, they finished faster than you had thought. You and Yua carried the rest of your belongings and the sweets from you car and went headed into the complex.

Your complex thankfully had an elevator, unlike your last one. Your new apartment was on the 5th floor, so it was only a short ride in the elevator before you and Yua were walking down the hallway to your apartment. Yua was skipping in front of you, holding the bag with sweets, humming a tune from Moana. You weren’t sure why but you suddenly felt nervous meeting Tsukishima’s friends. You tried to push the feeling down when you got to your door, there was no reason to be nervous, they just helped you move in. You opened the door, watching Yua walk in and start talking to someone. You moved to put the bags on the counter with your purse, not looking where you were going and bumped into someone. Their hands gripped your arms to steady you and you looked up to apologize only to gasp when you meet familiar golden eyes, eyes that looked so much like your daughter’s.

3rd year, night after graduation.

“(Y/N), I- I don’t understand. Was it something I did? Or something I didn’t? Can- Can we please just talk about this, I love you, I thought you felt the same-“ “I do. I love you so much Kotaro, that’s why I have to leave. You need to focus on Volleyball and I don’t want to distract you, to prevent you from getting where you need to go.” You turned, trying not to let him see the pain on your face but he grabbed your arm, turning you to face him. “What do you mean? Why would you slow me down? Is this about me spending too much time practicing? I promise to make time for you baby, please. I need you in my life. I meant what I said before, you’re it for me, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you, (Y/N), please, please don’t leave me.” He pleaded, cupping your cheek to try to get you to look at him. He’s confused and hurt, everything was fine, what happened? All he knew was that he loved you and you loved him, what else did the two of you need? You tugged yourself from his grasp, tightening your hold on your purse until your knuckles were white, tears blurring your vision as you fought the sobs that threatened to escape. “I’m sorry Kotaro, but I need to leave. Please let me go, this is for the best.” With that you turned and left, Bokuto just slid down the wall, burying his face in his hands as he sobbed, what happened?

“(Y/N)” Bokuto breathed, like you would disappear if he said it too loud. His eyes raked over your face, was it really you? You looked the same, your hair longer and dark circles more apararent, but still breathtaking. His heart constricted as he thought of the last time he saw you. What were you doing here, did that mean- Yua interrupted his train of thoughts, a loud giggle as she hugged his legs.

“Bokkun! Momma look, Tsumki is friends with Bokkun!” Her words seemed to break you out of the spell you were in, moving your gaze from the man in front of you to your daughter. The pain that was on your face quickly changed into a smile and you couched down, Bokuto letting go of your arms, still watching you as your daughter moved to hug you. You smiled gently and ruffled her hair. “I did, Why don’t you find Uncle Tsukki and stay with him, momma and Bokkun need to talk. She nodded and ran into the other room. You took a deep breath before standing, looking at your shoes for a moment before looking at Bokuto.

“Why don’t we talk outside?” Your voice was raw with emotion when you spoke, grabbing your purse before heading out the door, Bokuto followed you silently, thoughts racing. The two of you walked quietly outside the complex to your car that was parked nearby. The two of you sat silently in the car for a moment, You tried to organize your words, an explanation of everything, and Bokuto was thinking of Yua, how old she was compared to when you last saw each other. He inhaled sharply before turning to you, eyes wide. “Is-Is she mine?” he said, voice trembling. He watched you nod and it took a moment for it to process in his brain, and when it did he broke down, hunching over and covering his face with his hands as he cried. You bit your lip, watching him, hands gripping your jeans tightly as you tried not to cry. You had planned to tell him eventually, you wanted Yua to know her father, you just didn’t expect it this soon.

Inside your apartment, Tsukishima heard the door close as Yua ran into the room. “Tsumki! Momma said I need to stay with you, her and Bokkun need to adult talk.” He furrowed his eyebrows, confused on why you needed to talk to Bokuto. He turned from the box he was unpacking and looked to the toddler. “Do you know why they need to talk?” He knew it was a stretch that she would know, but the way she looked down and but her lip indicated she was hiding something. Now even more perplexed, Tsukishima squatted down to Yua’s height. “Is everything ok Yua? You know you can tell me anything right?” She nodded slowly, fidgeting with her shirt before speaking. “I think Bokkun knows he’s my pappa.” Tsukishima inhaled sharply as everyone in the room stopped. Kuroo and Akaashi now looking at the two. “What do you mean he’s your pappa?” It was Akaashi who spoke first, moving to sit next to the toddler who sighed. “Well momma was crying and said she missed pappa, and when I was asleep but not really she said his name.” Akaashi gasped slightly and turned to Tsukishima, “Tsukishima when is Yua’s birthday?” “November 13th, why?” As Akaashi did the math, it was Kurro who figured it out first. “Tsukki, is her mom’s name (Y/N) (L/N)?” He nodded, still confused when Akaashi ran his fingers through his hair sighing. “Then she’s right, Bokuto is Yua’s father.” Tsukishima, who was still confused as ever asked Akaashi to explain. Kuroo took Yua to the living room while they talked.

In your car, you pulled your knees to your chest, picking at your shoe as you thought of what to say when Bokuto beat you to it. “That’s why you left right? It was because you were pregnant? Did you think I would be mad? That I didn’t want her?” He had stopped crying but his voice was still raw. You clench your jaw as you thought of the right words to say. “ I did leave after I found out I was pregnant. But it wasn’t for that reason, we were about to graduate Bokuto , we were 18, you were scouted for the pros, I didn’t want anything holding you back from joining. I knew that if you found out that you’d drop everything to take care of us. I didn’t want you to not follow your dreams for me, for us. You were made for more than a 9 to 5 office job.”

You were crying now, thinking back to the day you found out, the week following that you tried to decide what to do. You were going to tell him, but the day you had planned to, he was scouted, offered to play in the pros, like he’s always wanted. You knew then you had to leave, no matter how hard. “I didn’t want to leave, I loved you like I said, that never stopped, I just couldn’t bear the thought that you would one day resent me for preventing you from chasing your dreams.”

You took a deep breath, trying to keep the sobs at bay, not able to look at Bokuto. “I was going to tell you. I wasn’t keeping her a secret from you, I made sure she knew you, we watched all of your games, she’s a big fan you know. But as you went farther, as you accomplished more, it became harder to have the courage to tell you. I didn’t want you to think that I sprung a child on you for your money, I don’t care about it, I never did. Then school started, and you were traveling around the world, and I started to doubt myself, would you even want to be in her life? What if you had moved on, what if you were in a relationship and didn’t have room for us? I didn’t want to subject Yua to rejection. I didn’t want her to meet her father just for him to not want anything to do with her. But god, she’s so much like you Bokuto. She has your eyes, your outlook on the world, especially your energy. She is like you in so many ways it’s a constant reminder of you, so even if I couldn’t have all of you, I still had her, and in a way it was like you were still with me, as dumb as that sounds.” By the time you had finished speaking, your vision was blurry, and your fingers were sore from gripping your pants too tight. As relieving as it was to finally let it all out, you still felt shame burn in your gut. Shame of hiding her, for not telling him right away, for leaving.

You wiped your eyes, sniffling as you waited for him to reply. For him to yell at you, for him to leave. But it never came, instead a hand rested gently on your shoulder. You could hear him shift in the seat beside you and you turned to look at him with baited breath. “(Y/N), I understand. We were young, we still are. And you’re right, I wouldn’t have accepted the scouts offer if I had known, I would’ve gotten a reliable job instead. But I hope you know that I would never resent you, for anything. I never stopped loving you (Y/N), you’re still the one for me, and that will never change. I want to be a part of Yua’s life, of both your lives any way I can.” His hand moved from your shoulder to your hand, and you gripped it tightly. You let out a shuddering breath, and nodded.

Bokuto let go of your hand and the two of you exited your car. You rushed into his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck and crying into his shoulder. Bokuto’s arms snaked around your middle and he buried his face into your hair, it had been so long since he last held you. After a few minutes you took a step back, moving your hands down to his chest. One of his hands moved to cup your cheek and you nuzzled into it. Bokuto kissed your forehead, pulling back to look at you affectionately. “C’mon, let’s go inside.” You nodded and followed, wiping your nose as you tried to look like you haven’t been crying for the past 30 minutes.

When you opened the door to your apartment, a blur ran at you, and you bent over to life Yua into your arms. She hugged your neck as you rubbed her back gently. She pulled back and looked at you with big golden eyes. “Are you okay momma?” You smiled and kissed her forehead. “Yes baby I’m okay. There’s something I need to talk to you about though.” You shifted her to your hip and turned to Bokuto, you smiled softly at the girl. But before you could try to explain she spoke. “Bokkun is my pappa right?” You chuckled softly and nodded. She nodded to herself and wiggled in your arms, asking to be let down. You set her down and she walked over to Bokuto, who crouched down to her height as they talked.

You turned to the other three in the room, snorting slightly when you realized who the other two were. You walked over and smiled awkwardly. “I guess it was naïve to think there were multiple volleyball playing Tsukishima Kei’s in Japan.” The blonde just chuckles and ruffles your hair as he leaves you with the other two. “Whatever, I’m gonna order pizza for everyone.”

You turned to the other two, not quite sure what to say, when Akaashi hugs you tightly. “We missed you.” He says softly, and damn, you were not expecting to have any tears left, but it seems like you did as they spilled over your cheeks. You gripped Akaashi’s shirt, wiping your eyes as he pulled away, only to be pulled into another hug by Kuroo. “I shoulda known such a cute kid came from you.” You rolled your still teary eyes as you hugged Kuroo. After a moment you pulled away, sniffling. “Well, thanks for helping me move in, Tsukishima said one of you guys lived in the complex.

Akaashi nodded, “I live on the third floor.” You smiled, glad one of closest friends was back and that they lived so close. Kuroo sighed, “Me and Kenma live in Tokyo, he was at Kei’s yesterday but had a meeting today so he wasn’t able to make it, he really would’ve liked to see you.” “Well you guys are gonna be seeing a lot more of us I can tell you that for sure.” You replied, you had already gone 3 years without seeing your friends, you weren’t letting them go that easily again.

After the pizza came and everyone ate, you cleared away room for the sofa and TV, getting it hooked up for a movie. You sat at the end, Yua in your lap and Bokuto next to you, who put his arm around you a bit into the movie. You smiled and leaned into his embrace. After the movie was over people started to file out, Tsukishima, Kuroo and Akaashi all left after getting hugs goodnight from you and Yua.

After another movie you put Yua to bed, Bokuto watching from the door frame as you read her a bedtime story. You gave her a kiss goodnight and shut off the light, closing the door somewhat. Bokuto followed you into your room and watched as you looked through a few boxes before grabbing a box and sitting on your bed. You patted the spot next to you for him to join you. He watched as you took a deep breath and opened the box in your hands. Inside were stacks of letters, about 20 if he had to guess. He looked at you, as you fondly took out a stack of letters. “I figured when I finally got around to telling you about Yua, you’d want to know about her childhood, so I wrote these letters through my pregnancy, after milestones, or just when I wished you were with me. There are pictures and other things in most of them.” You set the stack back in the box and handed it to Bokuto. “I actually wrote the most recent one a few days ago, they’re all dated too. I um haven’t changed my phone number either, if you still have it, I still have yours, if you haven’t changed it that is.”

You looked at him, trying to figure out how to tell him everything running through your head at the moment. He picked up and looked at a few of the letters, looking at the dates written in the envelope before turning to you. “Uh, no I haven’t changed mine, and I do still have yours saved. I don’t have to be back in Osaka for a bit, um, would it be okay if I came over again?” You nodded, “Honestly, I was thinking of ways to ask you to stay. You can stay with us until you have to go back, and um, anytime you want to come visit you can stay here too.”

Bokuto set the letters back in the box and placed it on the ground, turning to you. He placed a hand on your knee and shuffled a bit closer. “I’d really like that. And I know you just moved in here and you’re in school right now, but when your lease is up and if you’re up for it, you and Yua can come live with me in Osaka, there’s a great university there that’s near my apartment you could transfer to, and I’m sure there are great schools for her too. We could even move into a house if that’s what you want. I just don’t want to leave you again.” You sucked in a breath, you had only signed a year lease, and the university in Osaka did offer your major. “Is-is it okay if I think about it?” Bokuto nodded hurridley “Of course! I don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything!” You smiled and gripped his hand that was on your knee, squeezing it reassuringly.

You looked at the time on your phone and yawned, it was late and you’d had an all around exhausting day. You turned to Bokuto once again, “I’m beat, You ready for bed?” Bokuto nodded and got up to leave, you gripped his hand tighter, tugging him towards you. He looked at you questioningly. “ I finally get you in my life after 3 long years, you think I’m gonna make you sleep on the couch?” Bokuto flushed slightly and stepped towards you. You parted your legs for him to stand between them and looked up at him. He gripped your chin lightly and leaned down to softly kiss you. Though it certainly didn’t stay that way, your arms moving you wrap around his neck and pull him with you as you fall back onto the mattress.

Bokuto moved his hand from your chin to your face, cupping it lightly as his other hand rested on your hip. After a few moments that felt like forever you pulled away for air, panting slightly. He rested his forehead against yours as the two of you caught your breath and grinned. He stood back up chuckling at your whine. “I have a overnight bag in my car, let me go grab it.” You nodded, still pouting and got up to get ready for bed while he went to his car. You were just crawling into the covers when he came back into your bedroom. He stopped in the doorway, eyes zeroed in on your shirt. You looked down, before flushing when you realized it was a MSBY shirt you had bought, with the number 12 across the front. He smirked and went to change quickly before crawling into bed with you. You sighed, content to finally be back in Bokuto’s arms, even if it had taken a few years. You tangled your legs together and he kissed your hair as you fell asleep listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

#My writing #bokuto #bokuto kotaro #bokuto x reader #bokuto kotaro x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n

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s1utspeare · 3 years

Note

OMGOMGOMG U REBLOGGED THIS OK UHHHHHHH GIMME FO YE FEELS

FO-YE???? YOU WANT FO-YE??????

How I feel about this character: i fell in love with fo-ye literally yesterday. cause like. ok ok it was so funny cause i started mystic nine under the impression that fo-ye was like. an old wise dude cause zhang rishan was always like “my master. fo-ye. i must follow His Path.” so i thought fo-ye was just gonna be chilling at ninety but then HE TURNED OUT TO BE GORGEOUS??? LIKE HOLY SHIT SIR. but I was still on the M9 bus for zhang baby rishan and thEN i saw a behind the scenes blooper clip where William Chan laughed and i was gone. sorry. i love him now.

also writing the Fo-Ye scenes in Swiftly Tilting ended me and i would like to formally sue myself for emotional damages

All the people I ship romantically with this character: i am a firm supporter of the er-ye/yatou/fo-ye/xinyue polycule. They would all?? be perfect together?? also it just makes sense. fo-ye is literally SO GAY for er-ye it’s insane. This man sold all of his shit for er-ye. he would do anything for him. and I think that he and Yatou would also get along very well?? like they’re the two introverts of the group, and they have quiet chats over tea while er-ye teaches xinyue stage combat in the yard. and i genuinely really like him and xinyue together! she’s so bright and feisty and doesn’t take any of fo-ye’s shit! also (im only on episode fourteen so this might become True Canon later) i headcanon that zhang rishan ADORES xinyue and they’re like. best friends. xinyue is vp of the fo-ye fanclub only bc zhang rishan is way too good at being president.

also they’re all like. real actual adults?? like they have their SHIT together i just want them to live happily ever after with each other in domestic bliss and invite fuba over for dinner. and also they have the biggest bed known to man bc xinyue does NOT like cuddling when sleeping and also she kicks and er-ye always has to be the big spoon bc he’s a caretaker at his core and yatou like sleeping on the outside bc she doesn’t want to feel trapped and fo-ye secretly takes a lot of comfort in being in the middle of cuddle piles bc he likes being able to tell where everyone is subconsciously so they have like a specially built bed that’s like a double king so they can all sleep together but also have their preferences be met. damn why did i write so much about their bed. uh anyway. polycule rights

(also i kinda ship fo-ye/Third Prince bc all of their interactions at the auction WERE FUCKING ADORABLE)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: ZHANG BROS BABBBBYYYYY also i really like his relationship with ba-ye??? i would never ship them romantically (mostly bc ba-ye is Way Too Done with fo-ye at literally any moment) but they are SO GONE FOR EACH OTHER PLATONICALLY. like episode one we had fo-ye coming in to kick Everyone’s asses and save ba-ye and if that doesn’t give u BroTP vibes i don’t know what will. Also love all of the ba-ye and fo-ye Life Changing Field trips.

My unpopular opinion about this character: he’s kind of a dick??? like not overtly and not a lot but like. he sort of ruined peng sanbian’s life (not that peng sanbian was a particularly good person) and his marriage?? and he arrested chen pi for like no reason instead of just talking to him and then fucked off to beiping and let zhang rishan deal with that mess. and he’s constantly going behind er-ye’s back and manipulating him into doing things and also that one scene where he made zhang rishan and ba-ye just stand there and watch while he investigated the Weird Tomb when he KNOWS that zhang baby rishan would literally be so anxious the entire time and inevitably Fuck Something Up due to his constantly need to Be of Help to Fo-Ye. And don’t even get me STARTED on whatever the fuck he was doing in Gutongjing. And making Zhang Rishan feel like he could never move on or be happy bc he had to follow him, even in death. and i think he knows that he’s doing it, too

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I WISH WE KNEW FOR SURE HOW HE DIED I WISH WE KNEW THIS. it feels like there’s something so huge missing there and i want to find out about it ASAP. like. we sort of have an idea of it but he’s so intertwined with Gutongjing and Jiumen and Warehouse 11 that it seems super remiss to just leave out his death and the events surrounding it, but then again the series isn’t finished so if we get fo-ye death backstory in sha hai 2 i’m committing atrocities

IN CONCLUSION FO-YE I LOVE HIM here’s a screenshot of Zhang Baby Rishan checking out ✨Dat Ass✨

#fo ye holy fuck #cross i would die for u #thank u for this ask #i am in ur debt #mystic nine #dmbj #ask tag

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kelsiersshadow · 3 years

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i knew i shouldn’t have picked up a conjuring of light again cause now i’m done and the series is over and idk if i should start a new book or just ride this book hangover until i have to go to work tomorrow. so i’m gonna word vomit to no one about it to soothe my emotional wounds and also cause the crooked kingdom still has me feeling very irked on the subject of redemption and trauma. deeefinitely read the duology at the wrong age, cause now i have critical thoughts about healing and morally grey characters. obv spoilers for the whole shades of magic series below the cut.

anyway first off can i just say i am in love with the visuals in this series. it’s bloody!!! it’s so very gruesome and i think she handles the characters that get their free will taken from them in a very...i mean i felt like i was literally choking when i read any holland chapters. not just the ones with the danes but obv the ones with the danes. and rhy’s basically entire experience with pain...his devotion to the crown, even though originally he can be read as flippant and casual about his responsibility to rule but from the first book she does him great justice. he doesn’t have magic. so he learns languages and geography and he sneaks out and hangs with anyone and everyone and he forges admiration and love from his people.

im honestly totally enamored with rhy in general i feel like making the shiny happy charismatic puppy of a boy suffer so much was a direct attack on my emotions. and family! idc where you came from you’re my brother and that’s it. the sweetest parts of this series were any time kell and rhy thought about each other.

on a separate tangent i feel like it’s really hard to write the Badass Knife-Wielding Pirate Lady and give her actual faults. obv her commitment issues are on the top of that list but her recklessness is a very close second! sooo many times (esp when she entered the tournament) i felt kell’s level of exasperation. and not in a omg you’re so crazy uwu go off girlboss way but in a omfg lila stop you’re gonna LITERALLY die just hold on for a damn second way. her stubbornness, while i very much admired it, on occasion got annoying in a palpable way and idk i feel like she turned the badass trope on its head and went ok but did you ever consider they’re dumb adrenaline junkies?? it’s very very well done.

the way alucard unfolded was great. at first i was determined to dislike him cause he’s introduced when all i wanted was to find out that lila made her way back to london. and he takes her under his wing and that’s nice but i was waiting for the ulterior motive to drop. and then he’s fleshed out from rhy’s perspective. and you’re like ok wow so you’re cool but you’re a dick. got it. but you didn’t got it!!! he’s got wells of trauma too! his heart is broken! his actions were not his own when he left and he felt like he had to stay away! because no one wanted more than a passing fuck from him!! very well done development i had a great time.

i guess im gonna finish off by talking about kell and lila. like i knew they were ending up together but the way she played it out was glorious. you wait this whole time for them to just be in the same damn room again and then it’s just “hello” “hello” “dance with me”. asjdjfjdjssnjdjjsshhs the ballroom! she wears a dress and it’s not just performative she’s there cause she wants him to SEE the dress!! and boy does he!!! the second book honestly dragged a bit but not in a boring way just in a she has to build up the drama so it’ll go a little slower way.

and then BAM! end of the second book and it hits warp speed. “whatever i am, let it be enough”. to find him, to get to him, to save him. to stop rhy’s echoes as he dies. the entire ojka fight was one of the best lila scenes. then from the moment they’re back together it’s all nonverbal communication and i’ve got your back and the push and pull, the back and forth...god the whole third book. it’s like she knew she spent so much time keeping them apart and now that they’re together every second it’s tender and intense and they’re not questioning anymore. i reread things i had just read cause i wanted to be there and i wanted them to be there just a little while longer. it’s worth noting that i laughed my ass off during “stop fucking with the ship!” i am so grateful she let them laugh together. on the flip side, pairing kell’s stay with me with holland’s right after was evil and amazing.

i loved this series in so many ways. the whole thing was dark and depressing and so very beautiful. and i heard whispers about movies being made which is great 100% want the tumblr edits but im telling you right now if it’s not rated r for gore it’s gonna be terrible. you can skimp on the magic cgi they bleed to make things go boom and you need that

#adsom #i hate that there isn’t one overarching series name #shades of magic #i guess #what the hell do i do with myself now tho #book talk

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asteriismos · 4 years

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Tear You Apart -- Bill Denbrough

Authors Note : wooo this was a whirlwind to write. self quarantine is slowly starting to eat me alive, but I hope everyone is doing good! stay healthy and wash hands! also, if anyone wants to be on the tagging list, just shoot me a message or an ask! I also changed around the request slightly but it’s pretty much the same thing. Requests are still open.

Warning(s) : smut ( obviously ), seventeen! bill denbrough, choking, this is kinda just filth but what’s new, im going to hell

Request :

Loved your last bill smut you posted! Can you do one where the losers all have a sleepover and Bill has to share an air mattress with the reader and they end up having really hot sex while trying not to wake up the losers yet fail bc the reader is loud asf and maybe the reader has a choking kink and tells him while they’re making out to choke her harder. and the next day they have marks all over? (Sorry my thirst for Bill is unreal rn 😂). Ok so I also wanted to add to my bill x reader smut where he tries to push the reader to her limit and see how many times she can cum and it gets to the point where she’s screaming and crying at the same time bc oof 🥵 that’s hot (again I apologize for my horny ass I just wanted to add a little to my request)

When Richie Tozier gave the suggestion that the friend group should have a sleepover over Labor Day weekend, you were one of the first to scream yes. It was the beginnings of your senior year and you weren't going to waste a second of it, you wanted to spend every second you could with your friends and boyfriend, Bill.

The only problem was that it took a while to find the house you all should sleepover at. Though Richie had the idea, he said that his parents were planning something Saturday night, which meant a no from his end. Eddie’s mother wouldn't allow anyone over because of germs, and Bev’s aunt was not about to have eight teenagers in their apartment.

Luckily, Bill’s parents were out of town for the weekend because of the holiday, so you all finally could take the plan for action.

The rest of the day was dedicated to getting supplies for said sleepover. You and Bill went to the dollar store on the corner for snacks, Mike and Stan went to get as many blankets as they could, Eddie and Richie got movies, and Ben and Beverly set up the spare air mattresses in the large living room.

Once all of you got back, the party finally began.

“We have to watch Jurassic Park. It just came out on to VHS tapes,” Richie begged to the group. “And it’s so good, you gotta admit.”

“Richie, no, come -” Eddie’s rejection sentence got cut off by Richie already putting in the tape. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer, obviously. “Fine, whatever.”

All of you laughed at the two bickering and settled in for the movie. You were sharing an air mattress with Bill, the giant bowl of popcorn sharing both of your laps. You two were all snuggled and cozy under two blankets. As the movie got started, you felt his left hand land on your thigh. It wasn’t unlike him to put his hand there, considering you two weren’t prudes to types of PDA, but for some reason it felt different this time. It felt like there was a motive behind it.

You looked at your boyfriend, and even in the dim lighting of his living room you could see a smirk on his face.

Well, you thought to yourself, two can play at this game.

Your own hand came down under the covers and laid on his thigh, giving it a good squeeze. Bill tensed up under your touch, breathing in a very big amount of air as he kept his eyes on the movie. He wasn’t going to give up without a fight, that was sure.

A good ten minutes passed with no other touches from Bill, maybe he had stopped for the night in fear that your friends would start to notice the strange behavior between the two of you. You two weren’t all that good at being subtle, to be honest.

However, your previous thoughts seemed to be wiped away when you felt his hand go to your waistband of your sweatpants. Your legs tensed up for a moment and your stomach churned, looking around at your friends to see if they noticed. They hadn't, all of them were focused on the movie, since it was getting to the good part. That was a good thing, considering if any of them found out about this ( particularly Richie ) you two would not hear the end of it.

His hand slipped under the waistband and stilled for a moment, almost as if he was asking permission. You grabbed it and squeezed it, signaling that you were okay with it. And with that, he proceeded up go under your underwear lining. You breathed in sharply, causing Ben to look your way.

“Popcorn kernel,” you whispered his way. He nodded and turned his attention to the movie once again. From the corner of your eye you could see Bill laugh a little bit. Glad to see he was enjoying this. You tried to keep your face from reacting when his middle finger entered you.

But it felt really fucking good.

He stayed with one finger for a while, pushing in and out slowly, with rhythm. You turned to look at him and awkwardly held up a peace sign, signaling that you wanted another finger. Bill happily obliged, slipping another finger into you. That was enough to start changing the pace of your breathing, your focus at the bowl of popcorn on your legs. The movie was playing in the background but you couldn’t even think about it. Instead, you were thinking about the earliest you could fuck the shit out of Bill.

Which was now. You couldn’t take it anymore. You had to feel him inside of you, all of him. The want and desire was enough for you to quickly grab his hand, stand up and say, “We’re going to go make some more popcorn.” The Losers nodded, their eyes still fixated on the film. You pulled Bill by the hand into his family’s kitchen, not wasting a second of the limited time you two had before one of them would get suspicious.

His lips caught yours first, his body pushing you up to the top of the island counter. You obliged, scooting so that your butt was seated on the edge of the island, your legs wrapping around his torso. There wasn't an open space between you two as you kissed, the air in the room got hotter and hotter. It was the thrill of you two doing this in his kitchen, but also the thrill that someone would come in and witness the very unholy thing that was going down.

Bill pulled away from your lips, his kisses instead going on your cheek and along your jaw. They got up to your ear and he whispered, “I want to see how many times you can cum.” It sent shivers down your spine. You two probably only had about ten minutes or so before someone got suspicious and would investigate. The thought made a pool begin in your panties.

His hand went back to where it had previously been prior to the kitchen, two fingers reentering you. You moaned into his shoulder, the soft cotton proving to be quite helpful in muffling your moans. But that didn’t seem to be enough for Bill, he was not looking to be caught early. So his hand came up to your throat, squeezing a little bit. Instead of pain, you felt pleasure. Bill had complete control over you and you loved every second of it.

The first orgasm came soon after that, your moans being stifled by his hand and his shirt. You thought that he would stop so he could have some action of his own, but he didn't. Instead his fingers kept going in and out at an even faster rate. It felt good to ride out your high, but now you were so sensitive to his touch.

“Bill, I’m still pretty sensitive,” you choked out against his shoulder. He just nodded his head and kept going. The dominance he was showing was unlike everything before, and you hated to admit that it was turning you on so much.

His lips attached themselves to your neck, his teeth almost expertly biting in just the right spots to get you closer and closer. You counted all the spots that he reached, but lost count in your second orgasm after seven. You’d have to do a lot of damage control with makeup the next day.

Both of Bill’s hands left your body, and for a moment you thought that he was leaving. You opened your eyes and reached out to him, putting your hands on his shoulders. He wasn’t leaving, he was just taking off his belt and unzipping his pants, quickly getting himself out of his boxers.

It didn’t take long for him to enter you, his pace slow as you adjusted to his length. Despite your past two orgasms, you still felt yourself moaning in pleasure from his actions. His hand went back to your neck, repeating the same squeezing motion every time he would thrust into you. You looked past his shoulder at the clock on the wall, seeing that about eight minutes had passed. You were praying that your friends didn’t find you in this position.

“Bill,” you breathed out quietly, feeling the same fire in your stomach grow with each thrust. “I think I’m going to-” Your words were cut off by your third orgasm, hitting you like a tidal wave. He kept thrusting into you faster and faster, then finally reached his own peak, his thrusts becoming sloppier as you both rode it down.

He kissed your forehead, pulling out of you and getting a rag to clean up the mess you two had made. Once you two were moderately clean enough, he redressed and helped you off of the kitchen counter. You semi felt bad, considering you have helped Mrs. Denbrough prepare dinner on this counter many times before and done homework with Bill here too.

“I would just try not to think about it too much,” Bill said, obviously thinking the same thing that you were. Both of you laughed and hugged, your breathing coming to a safe pace again.

When you two walked back into the living room, the movie was showing it’s credits. Both of you tried to seem as normal as possible, but it was inevitable that someone would ask something.

“You two said you were going to get popcorn, where is it?” Eddie asked, his eyebrow raising.

“Yeah, we also didn’t hear the microwave on in there,” Richie added, a smirk plastering his face.

A blush creeped onto Bill’s cheeks and soon your own, realizing that you hadn’t been that quiet and discreet as you two thought.

#bill denbrough smut #bill denbrough #bill denbrough x reader #bill denbrough imagine #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #stanley uris #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #mike hanlon #it #it imagine #it 2017 #it 2019 #it movie #reddie

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semi-imaginary-place · 3 years

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CYRUS NO!

i killed the boss too fast...

... i truely have the glass canon team. i went slower this time and haanit ch4 boss wiped me. so last time i killed it before it could phase 2 me.

yeah taking it slow and trying to keep it alive just keeps wiping the party. saw petrify for the first time wow permament party removal.

haanits story overall is one of my favorites, it didnt have the strong thematic throughline/moral lesson some of the others had, but the characters are the best.

wonder if anyones done a solo character speedrun of the game. on one hand its counter to the themes of the game, on the other hand it could lead to some interesting gameplay. on the third hand it'll probably end up being tressa since money is the most powerful stat in the game. and on that note, i've reached 3mil leaf!

therion's evsion has reached 739 i might be overleveled.

i've been struggling with giving runeblade and starseer to tressa or alfyn. tressa is so powerful with runes i mean her physical attack might only do a few hundred but then the rune does like 2000-7000 and with the hunter and dancer skills tressa is so strong. but on the other hand starseer doesnt so much for alfyn. starseer would be good in combination with the priest ability that lets you target all party members. and alfyns elemental attack is bad.

maybe I'll talk about it later but everyone's vooce is softer in jp compared to eng.

therion ch4. eh im overleveled we can take the goons. shame i never had therion and ophelia in the same party would be nice to hear them talk faith.

we're letting darius live? the battle dialogue was pretty cool. ops forgot to steal money from him ahhh well. i like this chapter, one of the more solid ch4s.

omg im beating up tressa's mom and dad.

ophelia ch4. is this overarchive plot going anywhere? also yeah picked up that mattias had something to do with the savior. shame that. so thats therion, cyrus, and ophelias stories where someone tries to open a portal and release the sealed god or tries to harness its power. not to mention all the ruins with artificial lifeforms/automatons and redeye which is implied to have been created.

this game's inconsistent on whether your party members are there or not. theres party dialogue when ophelia gets locked in the cell. but its implied when primrose gets in the carriage among other times that the character is alone. also it took me a bit to warm up to primrose but i am just here cheering her on when she plots revenge. Go Girl!!!

is tressa the only one with a mom? idk about olberic or cyrus, therion doesnt have any, h'aanits an orphan? ophelia is an orphan and her adopted family is a single parent family haanit's too, primrose's is dead and or didn't exist? the story does care about her, alfyn's also an orphan. so we have a smattering of dads but no moms in this game lol.

ok h'aanit just did 17k damage 8*2k(and change). uh mattias caused me problems when he sealed all of primroses elemental magic and all of ophelias healing magic meaning i was down a damage dealer and had no one with healing spells. good thing ive been hoarding items!

dare i say that ophelia's story is somewhat well written? also the like is then meals wont be tasty. ahhh fe3h review past line button has spoiled me

so when it comes to story writing i like to think of it containing 2 components: concept and execution. concept is how interesting or more the story brings to an idea. execution is how well its done. octopath stories aim for a nostalgic tradition feel or perhaps the feeling of a story you have heard before and so its stores ride entirely on the execution score. sad the execution is poor and i think its safe to say that the main story character chapters are the weakest part of the game. the best part is the music but the second best part is wandering around cute towns and talking to npcs. when

olberic ch4: not the gate of finis again... there were some really good parts to olberics story but this chapter felt a little clumsy. to protect those that need protecting is vague as all hell. if werner was trying to open the hell gate why is he in riverford?

update: cyrus is first rounding everything with his weakest attack and i havent even fed him nuts yet. and for other big numbers alfyn’s base first aid healing is about 4k

#octopath traveler

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smallestclowninthecircus · 3 years

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Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.

#tma notes #tma

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riverleyk · 3 years

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SCRAPPED CHAPTER: Dimitri Watches his father's broadcast (MK3: Dimitri Project)

Dimitri watches his father’s broadcast Jack and Dimitri go to a cafe. A small ginger boy greets them Emilien: Hewwo! Welcome to Flavorsham Bistro! I’m Emilien and I’ll be your waiter :3 Jack: How old are you!? Emilien: 13! I started working here 2 weeks ago! I’m so excited- do you want chocowate!? It’s on special! She turns to dimitri in shock: What kind of labor laws do you even have in Canada!? Dimitri shrugs: Hey dont look at me, I dont know why a kid is working here either. Emilien: I dont work here, I volunteer! I do home schwool, and my mummy’s sick so I take her shifts He points to a small can with a picture of a woman on it Emilien: Will you donate, pwease? Jack: you lisp and accent are disgusting. What is she sick with? Emilien whistles out of his 2 buck teeth. He’s missing them because, ya know baby teeth fall out. Emilien: I don’t twalk like this normally! I’m missing teeths! Jack: How cute, but I dont care. Emilien (nervous): I was told to tell people that she has cancer.

Jack: How suspicious, I’ll send a formal complaint to the bureau of investigations. They sit down and get hot chocolate, because they’re just teens. Jack: I’m glad you could meet me here dimitri. Dimitri: Yes… just us eating croissants at our favorite British cafe that serves French cuisine. And its not a date. Jack nods: Not a date. Anywho… You’re interested in why my father and I moved to canada? Dimitri: yes Jack: Yes… it’s a top secret case, but… it’s so cool! Antonio Dreyas escaped from prison lately, and canada reached out to MY FATHER, the world’s greatest detective to go find him! Dimitri goes pale: Tony drey? Jack: Yea! Antonio Dreyas. Dimitri: Nobody calls him that, and your dad is going after my dad!? I didnt even know he escaped Jack: No… the probability that- *gasp* That’s why I recognized you when we first met! You cant be serious… you look so much- Dimitri: I know I look like my dad… I hate my face. Jack: Well… thats great! She gets out a note pad and pen: Tell me everything you know about him! This cafe isnt exactly a prison cell but I can interrogate you here! Dimitri glares Jack: What? I’m just curious Dimitri: Jacquelyn, this is impolite on so many levels. Jack: ok, well I supposed I can tell you the information I have first. Tony broke out in the middle of July, and Canadian officials have been on high alert ever since. The public wasn’t informed because it would cause panic, but my dad is close to finding me. We located a safe in northern Montreal, and right now my dad and the rcmp are negotiating with those thugs to let us have access inside. It contains a lot of cash, and potentially, Tony. Dimitri looks away: Then why did you want to interrogate me? I havent seen my dad since I was a kid. 6 Jack: its interesting that you still refer to him as your father. Havent you disowned him? He’s done so many terrible things… Dimitri: Because I still have memories of him as my dad. He was kind, and caring. He was there for me when I was a kid. it’s… he was a family man and a criminal, why dont nobody understand that? Jack: because its a confirmed fact that he was a womanizer and potentially god a dozen or so women pregnant. Havent you seen the trial where all those women testify against him? Dimitri whimpers: I have… a memory of it, but I watched it when I was young Jack gasps: wait thats right… you’re 16! You must have only been- Dimitri: 7. I was 7 when he was arrested. Jack: how did it happen? Dimitri: I was in third grade. Coming home from school. There were police officers all around my house and my dad was in cuffs. I was really small so I ran thru the crowd and hugged onto my dad’s leg. Nobody pulled me away ///////////// Flash back /////////////// Young dimitri: Daddy! Whats going on? Tony: Its alright, Walt. Dont cry. He kneels down by his boy and pets his hair Tony: I have to go. I’ll be gone for a very long time, but even tho I wont be with you, daddy loves you, Walter. I really do. Dimitri just cries and goes under the cuffs to hug him: Where are you going? Tony: Prison. I made a lot of mistakes. But promise me dimitri, you wont watch the new with mommy anymore. Dimitri: uh… what did you do??? Tony kisses his forehead before being forcefully put into the care Kiel picks up the boy and holds him. /////////// Back to reality //////////////// Dimitri: I did watch the news. My mom encouraged me too. It was confusing. There were so many words I had to look up in the dictionary. I remember him arguing with a woman about a baby that she killed… and him being guilty… It took me years to understand, but those who knew my dad, they started to hate me. My own mother stopped talking to me, I grew up into his face and people on the street give me bad looks. I was 13 and some woman called the cops on me. She thought I was him. Jack and him stay quiet for a bit Jack: I have that broad cast recorded at home. I- Dimitri: Can I watch it again? Jack: Why? Dimitri: I want to understand what it means. Im old

enough now, I can handle it. Jack sighs but accepts Later that night they do to her house and sit on the couch They watch the broad cast Im getting really tired of typing but essentially They accuse Tony of rape, murder, theif and drug selling Annabelle testifies that he was at raves trying to sell drugs and would cause violent riots Kiel testifies that she didnt know he was a monster. She cries and apologizes saying she would have called the police sooner if she knew and that her heart is broken due to the number of women he raped Nick’s mom testifies that he raped her Then theres Stellas mom. She was his second in command in the mafia. They grill her about her cries but she’s silent on trial, until they mention a baby. Tony eggs her to know where the baby is, but she’s quiet until she cracks… “I disposed of it.” Tony for the first time on trial breaks and shows fear. He screams what he wanted that child, that he wanted to be a father and run away with her Dimitri breaks while watching that. Knowing his father wanted to run away to start a new family, as well as finally understanding the severity of the crimes he committed. He cries I’M REALLY TIRED OF WRITING THIS Basically Jack sucks at comforting dimitri, and he explodes at her Calling her out for trying to be better than him even tho he has no dad, is failing school, has no friends and his life sucks. Her trying to be better than him, a guy with a pathetic life makes her worse than him by default cause its pathetic . He tells her he refuses to tutor her in French and leaves.

#discord #mafia kids #mafiakids #comic #riverleyk #dimitriatkins #original character #scrap #deleted fic #deleted scene #emilienflaversham

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albino-whumpee · 3 years

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Robowhump 5

Continuing that March of robots- whump edition story with @whumptopia ‘s robot whump prompt list. Today was “forced reboot” so here!

TW// self harm, manipulation, non con body modifications, abuse, torture, emotional abuse, burning and cuts mention

(I think it’s time to say, my writing is explicit and so, proceed with caution)

The first time Exia opened its eyes, it saw Ian´s father. A man with gentle black eyes and gray hairs. A programmer like his son and wife. Not as talented as either and certainly not as famous as his wife. He was humble and cared for Exia. It didn´t remember anymore, but it had been him who had given it its name.

“I´m trusting Ian to you, Exia” the man said as it sat Exia on the back of the car. Crossing the car’s seatbelt on its chest, because he didn´t want to put him (because he refered to Exia as him) on a box again. “He´s really good. I´m sure he will make some wonderful upgrades to you” he smiled at the android. There had been hope in his naivety and oblivion to his son´s nature.

Exia had recorded the man´s voice for Ian. “To encourage” him as the man put it.

But after Ian smiled and thanked his father for the gift, waved his hand as goodbye and closed the door. Ian had made Exia lay on a table and erased all previous commands.

Except its name.

Mainly because it would be troublesome to remember any other name.

And so, that was the first reboot Exia had.

The next time happened after Ian tried adding a few lines and had forgotten to put a simple comma. Causing Exia to bump into walls and keep walking as if it was on a videogame.

The third time was when Ian wanted to test Exia´s receptors and blew its hearing.

The fourth time had been purely accidental. Ian hadn´t slept in three days and put his homework code into Exia´s by mistaking the keyboards. The conflicts made Exia´s core to overheat and made it move erratically.

The eigth time Ian´s professor wanted them to test simple commands on androids. Making them lift eggs and the like was too old fashioned, so the challenge was making them handle jelly. Exia made a great demonstration but slipped out Ian had helped the other’s for money. It had been the first time Exia had seen Ian angry at him.

The nineth time, Ian had met Creek and was living with him now. Creek showed him the download sites for the pain emulators. When Ian tied Exia to a chair, the android had done it with a smile. But after the download, it had to be rebooted after many repairments were made. Out of panic mode conflicts that triggered self destruction tendencies and damaged a liquid deposit on Exia´s head. Causing leaks sometimes.

The tenth time, Exia had begged Creek to stop. That it hurt when it installed new body parts when it was fully responsive and the pain emulators were active. Creek had limited to laugh and continue assembling the new parts into Exia. It screamed quite loud, but Creek just turned their headphones volume higher. Tightened Exia´s restraints if it moved too much and ordered it to stop leaking from its eyes without much success. Of course, the leaking wasn´t something he could control now.

By the twelfth time, Ian had developed a back up. So, when they were testing Exia’s skin durability and had it trembling, tied to the working table with a face half burnt, Exia came back with the memories of it being burnt. Just new skin.

It would know what pain was even after rebooting now.

And Exia wasn’t allowed to say anything to Ian’s father. It would smile and say “Im doing my best performance to satisfy Mister Ian. I thank you for your concern” whenever a new patch of cheap skin was glued to a spot Creek had burnt, marked, teared apart or simply removed. “Exia has a lot to learn however” it would say while blinking three times rapidly and then stop for a bit before continuing.

“Im happy to see he’s well!” Ian’s father said to him as he chomped down his food “I like that yellow bang too” he said referring to the strand of hair, both boys had stolen from a broken down robot “Fits you”

“Thank you, sir” Exia replied keeping its blinking rythm.

“´It´, dad.” the boy stressed “It’s a robot, not a person” Ian said slurping on his noodles. The ramen ya they were on was pretty popular at that time. Just before the last few trains went on their way.

“Oh yeah right” the man awkwardly replied. Silence ensued as Exia simply stared at them eat. Wondering…

“What are you..?” The man lifted his eyes as Exia swallowed their beer. “Exia, no!” He stood up quicker than Ian and grabbed the android by the shoulders but it was too late. The liquid leaked to its core and circuits in a second.

The seventeenth time, Exia opened its eyes on a dark place. The closet, it recognized. Battery was running low and its limbs had been taken away.

Oh. It muttered to itself.

Im going to be abandoned.

It leaned its head on the wall. And noticed it had its Clothes taken off as well. Of course, a useless machine like Exia didn’t need to cover itself. Even when Creek had added a member simply to test the receptors and emulators.

Drip…

Blue liquid ran from its eyes. Possibly after-damage of some of their experiments. Or…

Whatever they were they didn’t stop. However they came, fat tears rolled down its cheek.

“E-Exia?” An unfamiliar voice called from outside.

It had been Liam who had taken it outside the closet. Covered it with its own clothes and told it to turn around to plug it to a charging dock.

Exia refused to let Liam touch it.

It was an unwanted machine! It was supposed to run out of batteries and grow forgotten locked away on the closet.

Not…saved.

But it was.

It wasn’t immediately that Exia expected Liam’s visits. Waiting for it to come and tell it about outside and about Ian and Creek. As there was no windows there. Exia learnt Liam was a prototype for their final project. A social service android. Designed to treat mentally unstable people. Exia had laughed.

Liam wasn’t surprised to see the android wiggling like a worm on the floor as it laughed histerically at the irony. Aware it was collateral damage to Exia’s system that allowed it to laugh.

Liam was aware of the pain emulators and one time, when Exia was staring blankly at a wall running a dyagnostic, Liam dropped a furry blanket over it. And hugged it.

“Hugging helps humans feel comfort and not alone after a traumatic event” Liam whispered as Exia stiffened and scuffed.

“Are you implying I should be treated like a human after trauma?” Liam took a moment to reply “I don’t know if that helps to lower your leaking, but I searched in my treatment files that panic modes can be smoothened-“

“Ok, ok I get it” Exia interrupted it. It allowed itself to focus on the warmness of the blanket. Its system would catalogue the cumulus of electric signals it felt at that moment as “comforted”.

Exia did feel like wanting more of that “comfort” thing.

And Liam was designed to do so.

Ian stared at the records of Liam’s trips to the warehouse where Exia was kept, everyday. To monitor improvements and adjust Liam’s protocols.

The young boy didn’t like wasting things and would use them to their last breath. Abandoning Exia? Oh no. He had simply planted the situation for Liam’s development.

Ian allowed Liam to put the androids limbs back on their place one day. Liam attached them despite the colors being not quite right and helped Exia up.

Ian had intricately written Liam’s physical therapy commands and tested them with Exia.

But as Liam proofed to be perfect on treating Exia, Exia was recovering too quickly.

So it was time for a final test.

TW// self harm, manipulation, non con body modifications, abuse, torture, emotional abuse, burning and cuts mention

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badbitchwhomeditates · 3 years

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Who the fuck is this bitch?!

Read that again.

The answer is complex, not simple, which is what complex means you dumb fuck ( beep language kiddo). Ok, lets try that again...

Bad Bitch Who Meditates, a 23 year old singer with dreams bigger than the world itself, which is both a good and a bad thing, we will get to the importance of duality later. Either way she´s been struck by lightning and pushed into a corner loads of times in an industry where you have to fight to be heard and seen through the smallest of cracks. And yes I might also speak about myself in third person a lot, simply because I'm practicing being the main character from all perspectives, telling my story but also making everyday feel like an adventurous movie ( therefore the narrator vibes help).

Complaining, complaning, victim mindset bla bla bla you might think, im not gonna bore you, you know that things can be quite shit and you’ve probably heard about the `struggling artist” and all of that before.

Lets spread some more negativity shall we ey?

Maybe not that either, im just welcoming you in to my brain and my stream of consciousness on the journey of becoming or remaining? we shall see.

Im not gonna be here being all fairy lights and glitter in my eyes either, I am tho some days, but lately I’ve been bad, not a bitch cause I would never, slightly a bitch towards myself and I haven’t really done my meditation, its like the second I put down ” bad bitch who meditates, thats my slogan” in a song, I was like, cool its in a tune now so I’ve done the work I can relax.

Nope, it doesn’t stop.

Consistency in self care, healthy habits and your mental diet, the way you speak to yourself, it doesn’t stop. And its fkn annoying sometimes, especially when your chemical imbalance is so imbalanced that you don’t wanna get out of bed. Ive probably dealed with anxiety and depression since my debut on X-factor, oh yeah shit sorry, I have a name too, Im Awa and I won X-factor Sweden at 15 years old, completely changed my life like a marriage, for better or for worse. In that marriage I found myself, lost myself and now im kind of finding myself again...

Ok this is the part below where you get to knoooow me or something...

I guess why I wanted to start blogging again is A) I need to hold myself accountable to remain consistent with my glow up, cause I can proudly say I’ve really done some amazing progress and inner work B) I need to continue doing that and find my healthy balance and not put too much pressure on myself, ya get me? C) maybe help take away the stigma regarding mental health, and I wanna focus on the solutions, thats my whole new life concept 10 % problems, 90 % solutions, like if we are discussing something thats the ratio. Cause how can we ever see a solution if we go slow dancing w the problem for ages?

I know it can feel fkn amazing and cozy, like when you’ve been in bed w someone thats clearly not good for your heartstrings but you stay there anyway because for right now it feels all warm and fuzzy.

Oh silly girl, I mean forgiveness, forgiving other people and forgiving myself that is def something we are going to have to discuss as well, its one of the things I’ve tried to commit to this year. Ive come to the conclusion that its harder forgiving yourself after being too nice, theres only so much space on the scale for resentment, but you go to bed with you all the time and you beat yourself up on why you allowed that to happen? (Did that make any sense??)

Again, another lesson, feedback that we can grow from. Mind management, one of my fav terms, mind over matter. Damn sure that can feel extremely provocative said in the wrong situation. Im gonna be honest on here, ill make an oath or whatever its called ( oh yeah im also Swedish so we will have communication problems here and there, but whatever, I call that acceptance) ill be honest, personal but not private cause I need to protect my energy.

I would declare myself a self care queen but babe writing this, I just had a massive argument w my friend, that made me sad ( oh im a cry baby too, thats even the title of my EP lol), I hate conflict but im really trying so hard to stand up for myself and understand that my feelings are valid too and that uncomfortable situations are growing pains for our souls. I had my first panic attack in ages because this year is just shit and things that I’ve worked on for so long just crumbled down in front of me and I just felt like I was again taking two steps forward and one step back but at least we are moving.

Im not all sad, I’ve rightfully so have had a few bad 72 hours I would say, I don’t like this time of the year that much. But I know why, because I've been slacking w my routines, the ones we´ve carefully selected through trial and error inna real life and w my therapist ( she's real too but you get what im sayin) , it's ok not to be ok either but we have to put some kind of time limit on it so we don't sink into that deep hole again, i don't wanna go back there and I know what keeps me with my head above water and sometimes even frkn flying. We wanna stay consistent w the flying, that feels good, that's a goal now ok? Cause I used to fall into that trap of the deep hole until the pain of the known got far greater than the fear of the unknown.

Im happy we are here today, because as I said 10/90, nothing last forever, good or bad, which is comforting. Things will get better and we hold so much more power in our minds and souls than we realize that ultimately will mirror how we experience life. So im going to be on here, at least once a week, my therapist tells me not to set up crazy goals that I know I might not do because then it will make me feel shit etc so once a week feels reasonable.

Im open to suggestions about what we can chat about, ill share my 10/90, I want my clever friends to maybe drop a quote or blog here and there, Im good on camera, like vlogs or some shit. I probably wont bring you around all the time cause I don’t have the technological brain cells for that to be very honest with you. Maybe ill just come up with cute formats to the camera, thats a word you are going to hear a lot, ”format”, I have a concierge business w my friend Amy on the side of my music career called ” Pure Intuition”, basically we create events, formats and campaigns for brands and make them come true with the right profile etc and we create FORMATS, but if you missed it or if I was unclear Im a super cool singer signed to Columbia UK which was my childhood dream, so we are going to make Columbia our BITCH in 2021 hihi <3 <3. I studied economic entrepreneurship in college and im very business savvy, I love creating formats lol. Im slowly but surely building my fempire. What else, boys, I like boys, men, cute ” god spent some extra time on you”- looking boys, I mean men. I guess we will touch on that in the most anonymous manner, maybe ill just share some past flings cause you know, they’re in the past, passé. So yeah who the fuck is this bitch? you will find out alongside me, myself and I

get ready for the ride

love and light,

badbitchwhomeditates

#badbitch #spiritual development #self improvement #selfcare #main character #music #singer #aestheitcs

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disaster-j · 3 years

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HOW ARE WE FEELING oh my fucking god. This was like. An amazing episode holy fuckkkkk. First we got like pangwave sharing earphones and :((((( wave is legit the best like OMG WE ARE PRISONERS ARE U NOT ALLOWING ME TO PEE WTF i hated punn for the first part and then now i love him wtf??????? and claire doesnt like him anymore oh no punn is probably going to cry and also everyone leaving pang was heartbreaking as always and i SCREAMED when chanon came ALSO CHANON DROVE THEM TO POM U KNOW [1/?]

WHAT THAT MEANSSSSS but then pom and supot are fucking cowards i hate them i hate them everything was going so well oh and im so glad that pang didnt mind control holy shit!!!!! Ik im scrambling all over holy hell omg i still dk what happened w the ministry and shit and also yeah wtf was that egg ad again what. Also i love time grace and third a lot!!!!!! And i think that was all ok wow i cant

afagahsvhwhs im sorry I took a whole week to reply😭 I didnt mean to ignore you I swear! When I saw the ask I was still processing so I thought I'd answer it later except then I just forgot like I forget everything not directly in front of me😔 Sorry!!!!

So, by now you'll likely have watched the new episode but know that I haven't and probably won't tonight cause I have some stuff to do rn. So imma just talk about what I thought was going on this past week and you can tell me if I'm right?

1. WE ARE FEELING TIRED AND MAD while the writing on this show is amazing, being a Punn stan is HARD rn my child is hurting and no one cares enough to do anything about it😭

2. Goddam the pangwave in that episode was so amazing! That earphone scene agsyhshw if that's not a sign they're endgame then WHAT ISSSS!?!? Also, yes, Wave is so incredible this season every scene with him is a blessing.

3. I ca totally understand not liking Punn rn. I feel that way about Mon what with her constantly ignoring the fact that Korn tried to mass murder a bunch of children and only caring about him and his wellbeing and nothing else but yeah Punn! I don't like him siding with the ministry any more than the next person but I can understand why he did it. Rn he's feeling betrayed and is isolating himself. He's at his most vulnerable and Darin has been using it as an opportunity to manipulate him into doing her bidding. We've seen how she's been using her relationship with his family to get him to trust her since she showed up and bc of Korn's betrayal she was finally able to accomplish that. Punn is only siding with her bc he wants things to be better and he doesn't want to be at war anymore. He's a kid, that's a perfectly valid thing to want. But ultimately, it's not his choice. They're at war either way and he chose the side he thought would do the most good, not realising that neither side outweighs the other in terms of evil shit they're willing to pull. So yeah, I love him and as always I am hella worried for my boy.

4. It sucked so much seeing everyone leave Pang but I can't say I didn't see it coming. He'd lost their trust a while ago and so far he hasn't done anything that would help get it back. Even Wave has his reservations about Pang right now, despite him being the only one to stick around I don't think he fully trust Pang like he used to. Not to say he thinks Pang is using him or doing something bad, but just that he doesn't quite believe in Pang's leadership the way he used to. At least that's what I've gotten so far.

5. CHANON! AND! POM! How dare they bring those two so close and yet not let them meet wtf is up with that!?!? There's some big reveal coming for Chanon x Pom I just know it. I swear when Pom was trying to take the vials from them I was so sure Chanon would walk in and stop him but then nothing? Fucking? Happened??? I was so confused. How did he really just drop em off at the gate and just? Left???? Wtf?!?!? I hope they shed some light on that in today's episode and if they didn't imma riot. I'm tireeeeed this show is tiring me when will it end so I can write my cutesy au about Punn and his alters, one of whom is Rome who falls in love with Bright ugh I just wanna write the cute fics I wanna be done with this stress😭

6. I get why like we DO NOT want him becoming Supot 2.0 which is very likely to happen if he let's the power get to his head. But him not using at all even in crucial moments like that just gives me major Todoroki from Spirts Festival Arc vibes and I just wanna be Izuku and scream "IT'S YOUR POWER" like just use it for good instead of evil man!!! Lives are at stake!!!!!

7. What is the egg girl why is the egg girl i dont get why they are doing this to me how far are they gonna take this nonsense i have so many questions ugh but hey maybe if we all collectively ignore her existence it will go away?

8. I love the babies! Ngl I thought they were annoying episode one but now they are my new children and I love them and shall protect them with my life no one better hurt the children or I will riot!!!! Especially Time, no one touch Time, only happy moments for baby!!!!

That's it, that's all I've got, please tell me we get some real answers this episode? Or, better yet, Punn gets far away from Darin and actually talks to his alters instead of acting like they don't exist??

#again #sorry i replied a week late #im dumb sometimes #answered ask #anon ask #the gifted spoilers #the gifted graduation #the gifted #gifted anon

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gingerwritess · 5 years

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"Person A is pregnant but finds out just before Person B has to gone on a six month long trip. When Person B returns Person A surprises them with their growing baby bump hilarity and confusion ensues" Maybe this one for Elliot and dad!Loki? have a great day sweetcheeks

combined with this request from @mylovelycrazyworld

summary: well…Elliot wanted a sibling. it’s about time he got one.

warnings: pregnancy stuff, a tiny hint of angst, missing Loki, fluff, and lots of Elliot silliness

a/n: FIRST OF ALL I AM SO PROUD OF THIS so i hope you e n j o y

sorry, second, i got waaay too carried away with this and suddenly its like a part of a wholeass story and yeah we’re gonna move this little storyline right along.

third i accidentally posted this before it was done a couple weeks ago so if you read it that time, i’m so sorry, this one is done and much better.

i’m also so sorry i’ve been gone lately. it’s been a crazy hectic last couple weeks so i haven’t had much time to sit down and finish writing anything! thanks for sticking around :)

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Of course Loki had to leave this week, of all weeks.

Elliot’s taking the separation fairly well; Loki had left for Asgard with a kiss on the forehead, a tight hug, and a pretty serious request.

“You’ll take care of your mother for me while I’m away, won’t you?”

The little boy had promised, naturally, trying to look as serious and grown-up as he could, and even offered his hand to Loki for a handshake when he went in for a hug goodbye. Loki’s jaw had dropped in shock; then he pushed Elliot’s hand out of the way and swooped him up laughing into his arms for a tight, chaotic, firm hug.

So now you have a protective five year old fussing over you all day long, which is honestly worse than having a protective 1000+ year old fussing over you. He tries to do everything he sees Loki doing, everything he’s supposed to do to “take care of his mother:” like holding your hand in every possible situation, running up behind you and hugging the back of your legs, he’s even kissed your forehead at one point.

Loki’s trained him well.

But morning four of Loki being gone brings an unexpected turn. Elliot has been sleeping in your bed with you, wanting to keep you company—but mostly just missing the clone that Loki normally lets Elliot cuddle up with every night. This Tuesday morning, he’s laying across your stomach, happily sucking a thumb and drooling onto your shirt—well, technically it’s Loki’s.

It would’ve been nice to wake up and see his chubby little face all squished up with sleep, but you’re brutally shaken from your rest by a lurching stomach—you’re going to throw up, right now. You try to push Elliot off you as gently as you can, already retching as you shove him one last time, a little harder than you meant to, and he groggily sits up.

“Whasgoin’on?” He rubs the sleep from his eyes, but you’re already sprawled on the tiles in the adjacent bathroom floor, emptying the contents of your stomach into the toilet. “Mom! No, mom, what’s wrong?!”

“S-stay—stay back,” you cough and wave him away just as before another retch doubles you over, chest heaving when it finally simmers down. “Just give me a second, okay? You don’t want to see this, bud.”

“But are you okay? You got really sick!” He rushes up behind you and starts rubbing your back with a cool little hand. “Ew, you smell kinda funny.”

“Gee, thanks, kiddo.”

“I’m just sayin’!” He holds his nose with one hand, using the other to wrap around your waist and lean into your side. “What does dad do to help you when you’re sick?”

You pull yourself up and over to lean back against the wall, trying to catch your breath and running a hand through Elliot’s curls. “Uses his magic stuff to make me feel better…cuddles with me, just like you’re doing.” You smile weakly down at the little boy, and he quickly lays his little hands on your stomach. “No no no, don’t try it, it’s okay! I feel better!”

“Aw, man.” He sadly retracts his sparking hands—thank god—and nestles back into your side. “I’m getting gooder at my magic, ya know. Dad’s teachin’ me real good.”

“I don’t doubt it, Elliot,” you assure him with a light squeeze of a hug. “But you probably shouldn’t test out any of your magic on people, okay?”

He nods seriously, patting your stomach gently. “Good idea. I gotta be careful with your tummy now, too.”

“Don’t worry, buddy, this is just a bug. I’m already feeling better.”

Elliot shakes his head and crawls onto your lap, leaning down to put his ear to your stomach—what in the world? He listens for a moment and suddenly the wheels in your brain start turning: oh my god. This couldn’t mean…?

The little boy sits up again and feels your stomach one more time, focusing hard on something. “Nope, s’not a bug,” he smiles and gives your belly another gentle pat. “It’s just my baby tryna say hi.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Six pregnancy tests later, there’s no doubt about it. How Elliot figured it out before you even had a hunch, you have no idea, but the little piece of plastic drops from your hand when you flop face-first onto the bed, mind swirling.

This isn’t a surprise.

Elliot had asked. Loki and you had talked, agreed; this is what you want. But really, baby?

Now?

Loki doesn’t get back for another four months. Pregnancies are hard; you’re not going to pretend they aren’t, and to not have your husband here to help you through it…this is going to be much different than when you were pregnant with Elliot.

You glance once more at the last test: positive as ever.

Pregnant. Again.

Sighing audibly, you roll over on the bed and grab Loki’s pillow, hugging it to your chest and breathing deeply, eyes drifting shut.

“We’re gonna be fine,” you whisper, your voice serving more to soothe your own racing mind than anything, “we’re gonna have another baby, and we’re gonna be fine.”

You bury your face in the pillow, hugging it tighter. It smells like Loki—heavenly.

That’ll have to do for the next four months.

* * * *

“What does dad wanna name the baby?”

The plastic fork scrapes against Elliot’s plate in grating anticipation of your answer. He’s picking at his lunch; his appetite hasn’t been quite so bottomless with Loki having been gone for so long.

For yours, on the other hand, the exact opposite is true.

“Dad…doesn’t know yet.” You rip another chunk of bread from the entire baguette in your hand and dip it in butter. This baby seems to have an appetite for seven and a particular fondness for carbs.

Wonderful.

“That’s ok,” Elliot nods thoughtfully. “Names are hard to come up with. I think it should be…blueberry! Cause I love blueberries so much and I love my baby—”

“No, no, I meant…” you struggle to swallow your mouthful of bread and hold up a finger. “Dad doesn’t know that we’re having a baby yet.”

“Why not?”

…yeah, that’s a good question. You probably should’ve called Loki a good while ago, when you’d found out you’re expecting—I mean, it’s his kid too.

But telling Loki he’s going to have a second child just seems like something you don’t do over the phone.

“I don’t want to miss his reaction,” you answer honestly, shoving another chunk of baguette in your mouth. “I wanna sh-uprise ‘im when ‘e gets home.”

Translation: I’m terrified.

Elliot eagerly claps his hands together, the fork falling to the table with a clatter. “That’s a good idea!” He squeals, jumping up to run over and climb into your lap, laying his little hands on your belly. “Dad’s gonna be so excited to meet Blueberry, he’s gonna cry—”

“We are not naming this baby after a fruit. Sorry, kiddo.”

* * * *

An agonising two more months pass, lonely and chock-full of horrid cravings, mood swings, aches and pains and puking nearly every single morning…this baby already seems to hate you.

Elliot’s been a little trooper the past four months.

Hugs whenever you need them, plenty of crayon drawings of your family so you “don’t miss dad too much,” peace and quiet when you fall asleep at the table again, even a few attempted breakfasts in bed. He’s been so sweet and helpful when you know he misses his dad more than anything, so today you drag yourself out of bed, throw up once for good measure, and tell him to get ready for an ice cream trip.

Loki was supposed to be home a week ago, but you can’t let yourself think about that.

Driving with your little bump of a belly is starting to get really uncomfortable, but you make it alright to the little ice cream parlour that Elliot claims makes the best cotton candy ice cream of all time.

“I miss my dad,” Elliot pipes up while you’re sitting in silence, a faint bluish tint to his skin due to the coldness of the ice cream. “He shouldn’t hafta leave ever again.”

“Same here, kiddo, I’m sorry.” You lay a hand on your belly and try to give Elliot a reassuring smile. “This little monster misses him too, but they’re just glad that they have an awesome big brother to take care of them!”

That brings a halfhearted smile to the little boy’s face, and he goes back to licking his ice cream cone, watching you with reddish eyes deep in thought.

“Y’know, dad loves you, mom.” Elliot reaches over to take your hand in his tiny, sticky one, much to your surprise. “He loves you a whole lot, I know it, and he’s not gonna be angry that we’re havin’ another baby.”

Your jaw drops.

What the hell??

Your son, who is apparently getting some kind of crazy read on your thoughts right now, leans over the table and plants a sticky blue kiss to the back of your hand—just like he’s seen Loki do countless times. “Don’t be ‘fraid of him, he’s gonna be so super excited.”

Part of you kind of wants to run away screaming, but maybe mothers shouldn’t do that to their children, so you just gape like a dying fish at the strange little mini-Loki in front of you.

“I’m…I uh…” your mouth opens and closes a few times while your brain tries to catch up. “I’m not…I’m not scared of dad, Elliot, what makes you say that?”

You’re not…right?

Elliot licks his ice cream cone again, catching a drip down his arm. “Nah, you’re ‘voiding your ‘sponsibilities.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re scared to tell dad about Blueberry, right? I heard you in my dream, you told me dad was gonna be upset and get scared to have two kids.”

You swallow hard, trying to find the lie in his innocent statement. “But he—no, he won’t be upset, he wants another kid, he told me.”

This kid is ripping you to shreds, covered in blue and pink melted ice cream.

“S’what you told me,” Elliot shrugs. “Said dad’s gonna like one of us better.”

…you’ve got to pee again.

A blessed escape, cause if Elliot says one more word about Loki or this baby, you’re pretty sure your hormonal self is going to break down in tears.

“I’ll—I’ll be right back,” you choke, scooting your chair back with a loud scrape and pulling yourself to your feet. “Are you okay to stay here? I’ll only be a couple minutes right over there, no talking to strangers, you know the rules.”

Elliot nods, looking worried as you swipe at your eyes and set down your cup of ice cream with shaking hands. “You okay, mom?”

“Fine, fine, I’ll be right back,” You mutter and rush off to the bathroom.

You certainly didn’t look fine, but Elliot shrugs to himself and goes back to his ice cream, keeping a wary eye on the other people in the shop.

“Did your mother just leave you out here all alone?”

Elliot spins around in his chair at the voice, dropping his ice cream cone to the floor and bringing his hands up ready to fight whoever is approaching him—Loki’s taught him enough to fend for himself.

But when he whirls around, he immediately lowers his hands and jumps out of his chair—it’s Loki.

“DAD!” Elliot scrambles out of the chair and bolts into Loki’s waiting arms, knocking him over with the force of his hug. “Dad, dad, you’re home! You’re home!!”

“That I am,” Loki laughs, hugging the little boy tightly to his chest. “I missed you so much, Elliot, so much.”

“Hey!” Elliot points a little finger into Loki’s chest, suddenly serious. “Don’t you ever leave us again, ‘kay??”

“Of course, I’m so sorry I had to—”

“Pinky promise??” Elliot shoves his little finger in Loki’s face, and the god chuckles, extending his own to seal the promise.

“Pinky promise. Hopefully.”

Satisfied with the agreement, Elliot jumps off his dad and rushes back to the table, frowning at the sticky mess that’s left of his ice cream on the floor. “You owe me an ice cream, dad, look whatcha made me do.”

“My sincerest apologies, young man,” Loki chuckles, swooping the kid up in his arms for another squirming hug, trying to sneak a few tickling kisses somewhere on his face. “Where is your mother?”

You come out of the bathroom just in time to hear Elliot answer “hidin’ from you, I think,” and you stop dead in the middle of the shop when you see your husband smiling wide and holding Elliot in his arms.

“Elliot! No I’m not!” You shake yourself out of your shocked daze, running over to the two of them and nearly knocking them over when you throw your arms around Loki’s neck.

Immediately setting Elliot back on the ground, Loki breathes your name and draws you into the tightest embrace he can manage, his arms clutching you so close you have to plant your hands on his chest and gently push him away to keep him from hurting your belly.

He doesn’t seem to notice, but Elliot sure does.

Loki’s hands cradle your face as he pulls away and just stares at you for a moment, trying to decide if words could even begin to describe how happy he is to be with you again.

“I missed…oh, come here.”

He laughs with watering eyes and pulls you close, pressing his lips to yours over and over until neither of you can breathe, half laughing, half teary-eyed because he’s here, you’re all here, together finally.

“That was—mmph—too long,” you laugh around Loki’s relentless lips, keeping a hand to his chest to keep him from your baby bump.

Elliot bounces on the balls of his feet, glad to see his parents so happy again, but sticks a hand between you both to cover your belly. “Careful, dad, don’t hurt my b—”

“ELLIOT!” You cut him off with a nervous chuckle, shooting him a pointed look—shh!

The little boy claps a hand over his mouth, eyes wide. “Sorry.”

“What for?” Loki asks with a breathless laugh, his hand cradling the back of your head to keep you pressed against him.

“Nothing, nothing,” you assure him, kissing him again. “Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re home, Loki. Tell us everything!”

He holds you away from him for a moment with his hands on your shoulders, looking you up and down with a dopey grin on his face—you’re really glad you wore a too-big shirt today, it covers your beginning baby bump pretty well.

“You look incredible,” he murmurs, shaking his head in disbelief—he missed you. His eyes fall on your chest and linger for a half a second longer; your breasts seem…bigger than when he left.

Trust me, he would know.

But he shakes it away and pulls up a chair, and the three of you launch into a detailed retelling of everything you’ve missed over the past four months.

“Well, everything went wrong the moment I stepped foot in Asgard.” He leans forward, eager to tell his story. “There had been an attempt on the relics, and rumours of more to come, so we had to—what’s so funny?”

Elliot’s covering his mouth with a sticky hand, desperately trying to muffle the giggle-fit overcoming him as he looks at you: you’re clutching your stomach with an extremely pained grimace, trying to get comfortable in the little metal chair.

“Nothin’…” he snorts and quickly looks away from you when you glare at him. “What happened next, dad?”

“Okay…” Loki shoots you a confused glance and you quickly grin back, trying not to look like there’s a tiny human laying directly on your bladder right now.

How’s that working out for you?

“Are you alright, my love? You look like you’re in pain.”

“Just a stomachache!” Your gritted laughter is nervous but hopefully convincing enough.

“Are you sure? Just tell me, darling, I can disspell the sickness in less than a second—Elliot!” He whirls around in his chair to glare halfheartedly at the little boy giggling again. “Your mother is in pain, why are you smiling??”

“‘Cause I know something you don’t know,” Elliot sings, clapping his hands with glee and wiggling around in his seat. “Mhm, I’ve got a secret, ‘n I’m not tellin’—”

“Elliot. That’s enough.”

You reach over and pull the little guy into your lap, clamping both hands over his mouth and smiling sweetly at your husband—who just looks very confused. And a little worried.

He’s made it pretty clear that there would be no secrets in this little family of yours.

“Our son…has a secret?” Speaking to you, not Elliot, he raises an eyebrow and it’s not exactly amused. “Care to enlighten me, wife?”

“Don’t worry, Loki, it’s not a secret,” you sooth, tapping Elliot’s mouth twice before letting him go again. “It’s more of…a surprise, really.”

Elliot clasps his hand behind his back and rocks forward on his toes, excited eyes darting back and forth between you and Loki.

“I don’t like surprises.”

“But you’re really gonna like this one,” Elliot promises, sending an overly dramatic attempt of a wink your way.

Unbelievable.

Letting out a dismayed groan, you drop your forehead to your hand. “Elliot, please stop…”

Loki crosses his arms, already looking a little on the defensive side with lips tightly pressed together—this is exactly why you didn’t want to tell him. Way to go, kid.

“If you have something to tell me, tell me now.”

“I—can I tell you at home? Later?”

The god sighs, not able to help feeling as if the joy of your reunion had been let out faster than the air in a deflating balloon—now he’s worried, feeling excluded, almost offended.

Secrets. Never a good idea within a family.

“Don’t worry, snowflake,” you chirp with feigned nonchalance. “You’re gonna love this surprise.”

Your fingers cross under the table.

* * * *

Loki doesn’t bring it up the rest of the day.

You’d guessed he would mention it again at least during dinner, try to pry the information from you, but he smiled and listened to Elliot talk about his loose tooth, eating his food apparently unbothered.

Your knee hasn’t stopped nervously bouncing since you sat down.

Maybe he knows? If Elliot felt it, Loki certainly could. The kid’s voice is still echoing through your mind as you get Elliot ready for bed:

“You told me dad was gonna be upset and get scared to have two kids.”

Okay, maybe you’re a little worried that Loki’s past may hinder his enthusiasm for a second child, but you’ve never even admitted to yourself that he would be upset or scared. But the more you think about it, the more sense it makes: he would be terrified.

Favouring one child over another? That would be Loki’s worst nightmare, yet he hadn’t brought that up when Elliot first asked for a sibling. He’d happily agreed to have a second kid, kissing away your concerns…

Hugging your arms around yourself, you stare at his back from the doorway. His hair is lazy, pulled into a mindless knot on the top of his head; he looks relaxed, doing dishes. At peace with his life.

His life with his wife and his one son.

Did he lie to you?

Had he looked you in the eye, said “I want another baby,” and lied?

God of lies, you keep letting yourself forget.

Your mind goes berserk right there in the kitchen, convincing you that he lied to you, that this baby is unwanted, that he only said that he wanted another baby to keep you happy, that no, he didn’t ever want children, he just wanted to fuck you, that everything he’s ever said to you is a lie—

“Your thoughts are deafening, my love.”

You jump with a start as his voice interrupts your destructive train of thought. “Were you listening?” You immediately ask, voice venomous. “Loki, did you listen?”

He turns around and dries off his hands, leaning back against the counter with a sad smile. “Of course not, out of respect for your secret. I trust you to tell me.”

You stare at him, unmoving and unsure, and he pushes himself away from the counter to take a few tentative steps toward you. “Let’s go to bed,” he murmurs, sensing your troubled mind. “You need rest, then you can tell me this secret when you are ready.”

Nodding slowly, you let him take your hand and lead you to the bedroom, keeping your mouth firmly shut. He shuts the door behind you and you walk straight to the bed, laying down and turning your back on him to avoid this as long as possible.

“Don’t you want to change first?” Loki laughs, and the mattress dips as he climbs on next to you, laying right against your body and pulling you back into him. “Those pants can’t be comfortable, let me get them off of you.”

You shake your head—horny, lying bastard.

“…would you like me to draw you a bath?” He’s trying a gentler approach now, noticing your apprehension and holding you closer.

Another shake of the head.

“Why won’t you talk to me?”

Your hand subconsciously falls to your little baby bump, but Loki’s follows right after to cover your own hand with his.

You’re sick of this—just tell him.

You slip your hand out from under his, grab his wrist, and press it to your belly. His breath catches in his throat, you can hear it, and his cold hand gently runs across the swell of your stomach.

“What is this?”

Just say it.

“I’m pregnant.”

He sits straight up behind you and you screw your eyes shut—he’s going to leave now, right?

But he doesn’t leave; instead cold hands grip your waist and pull you onto your back, catching the hem of your shirt and promptly ripping it from your body.

“Loki!”

He looms over you, knees on either side of your body as he stares down at you. His eyes are wide and a distracted hand rubs over his mouth, trying to process this.

“How long have you known?” His voice is barely a breath.

“…four months.”

“You didn’t tell me?”

The hurt on his beautiful face is a sucker punch to the gut—you idiot, of course he wouldn’t be upset. This is Loki we’re talking about, your husband, the father of your child—children.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologise quietly, avoiding his gaze. “I didn’t…I thought you-you would be upset.”

He breathes a laugh and carefully runs his fingertips down your sides, trying to memorise the sight of you carrying his child…again.

“Why would I ever be upset, my love? I can’t believe you’re this pregnant and you didn’t tell me—”

“Elliot said something,” you anxiously cut him off. “It was stupid, really, I’m stupid for believing it…” you take a breath and ramble on. “He said he had a dream you got upset about having two kids cause you might like one more than the other.”

Loki pauses his kissing down your torso, freezing with his hand splayed across your baby bump. “How did he…”

“I dunno. He was freaking me out, Loki, he started telling me things I wasn’t even thinking yet.”

“That’s my boy,” the god laughs, resting his forehead on your stomach as your brow knits in concern.

Carding your fingers through his hair, you nudge Loki’s head up to look at you. “This doesn’t worry you?”

“Our son turns blue when he touches something cold.” He presses his lips to your stomach again, eyes tightly shut. “I’m afraid your family isn’t exactly the epitome of human normalcy.”

“Yeah, but Loki, was he right?”

“That I’m scared?” He trails his lips up your baby bump, over your chest and coming to rest firmly over your mouth. “My love…I am terrified.”

“Oh.”

Your arms wind around his neck and pull him back down to your lips—maybe if you keep kissing him, he won’t be able to see the disappointment in your eyes.

It works for a little bit, and you nearly lose yourself completely when he starts gently nipping at your lips and moving to tend to your neck; he’s making you drunk on him with the flip of a switch.

It’s too easy for him.

“Loki.” Your hands curl tighter in his hair.

“Hmm.”

“Then why did you tell me you wanted another kid?”

The god pauses, moving from your collarbone back to your face to frown down at you. His fingers are cold along your jaw. “Because I do want another kid.”

“But you’re terrified.”

“And you’re not?”

That makes your mouth snap shut, eyes darting around the room to avoid his piercing gaze. Of course you’re nervous, it’s not like you have any better ideas of how to raise a child—and you’re the one carrying it, for god’s sake.

“I don’t think I need to say more.” Loki smiles, soft and edging closer to the sad end of the spectrum. “I’m always scared. Of you, of my son…and now my second child.”

You still can’t look at him. Shame, maybe.

“I’m terrified of you, did you know that?” He’s kissing you again, lazy lips soft along the outline of your own, up and down your jaw. “Terrified of you, our future, our children. I could lose you in seconds.”

“That’s optimistic.” You try for a cracked smile.

Cool lips meet yours, firm as his hand traces over your baby bump. “It’s realistic, actually. Keeps me honest with myself.”

“We’re not leaving you, if that’s what you’re scared of.”

“But I don’t deserve for you to stay.”

Here we go again.

“Why do you always do this??” You force a playful smile onto your face and sit up, a hand on Loki’s chest pushing him off of you onto the bed. “There you go hating yourself again, sheesh.”

Grateful for the change in subject, you roll over halfway on top of him and mold your lips to his—his, parted slightly in surprise. Your hands cradle his face, stroking through his hair and over his cheekbones as you pour every ounce of adoration you possess for him into the kiss.

Then it really clicks, just how much you missed him.

Maybe that’s why you feel this…disconnect.

Within seconds his shirt is off too, your hands scouring every inch of his skin you can reach, Loki’s breathing becoming shallower as he fumbles with belts and tries to hold your face to his at the same time.

“Missed you,” he whispers hoarsely, giving up on the belt and falling into you, shaking hands holding your neck and waist in a death grip. “My family, I missed you both, and this new one—”

His voice cracks and he moves down, littering every inch of you with kisses that come to rest on the swell of your stomach as his hands hold tight to your hips.

“I’m beyond excited.” It’s nothing more than a whisper. “Terrified, scared out of my mind, but I am so, so happy our family is growing.”

“You sure?” You tangle your fingers in his hair and tip his head up to smile down at him.

“Do I need to prove it?”

God, you missed him.

You grab hold of his face and pull him up, smashing your lips to his. “I wouldn’t mind if you did.”

So he does.

At least, he tries, until a yell for dad echoes down the hall.

“Good to see nothing has changed,” Loki sighs, pressing one last kiss to the inside of your thigh. “Don’t you go anywhere, we’re not done here.”

You throw a pillow at him with a laugh as he winks and slips out the door.

Elliot is awake, as expected, sitting in his bed clutching the blankets to his chest, a strangely bright smile on his little face. “Hey dad!”

Loki raises an eyebrow. “Hey…”

“You awake?”

“I am now, clearly.” He sits on the edge of the bed and plants a kiss on the top of Elliot’s head. “Why did you call for me?”

The little boy shrugs. “Just wonderin’.”

“…if I was awake?”

“Yup.”

They stare at each other for a second—

—Loki confused and battling with the fact that he just had to leave you on the bed to come take care of this kid, and Elliot scrunching his nose up in the biggest grin at his dad, just happy to see him.

“I’m…going to go back to bed now.” Loki points at the door, giving his son a strange look. “Unless you have literally anything else to tell me? Redeem my coming in here?”

“Nope!” Elliot throws his arms out in a request for a hug.

…that Loki all too happily delivers.

“Oh! Did mom tell you the secret yet?” He whispers, squeezing Loki tighter with arms thrown around his neck.

“She did,” Loki chuckles. “Are you excited?”

“I can’t wait! We’re gonna be bestest friends and I’m naming it Blueberry cause I love blueberries and I love my baby so I’m gonna—”

“Blueberry??”

“Yeah!”

Loki shakes his head with a laugh. “Blueberry Lokason. A name for the ages, without a doubt.”

Elliot beams at his father’s approval and Loki ruffles a hand through his curly hair. “Come on, go to sleep. You shouldn’t be awake right now.”

“Well you guys woke me up…” he grumbles, flopping down on his pillow.

Not again. Loki freezes, face twisting in worry—you hadn’t even started. If that was too loud, then by the end of the night the whole neighbourhood is going to be awake. “Were we being too loud?”

“Nah.” A little smile spreads over the kid’s face. “Mom’s just happy, real happy, and it woke me up.”

“You…you can feel that?”

“Yup. Just like you.” He nuzzles deeper into his pillow. “Thought’ya might wanna know, dad, ‘case you forgot.”

With a face as precious as that, Loki doesn’t have the heart to tell him that’s not just like him…that’s not exactly how his access to the mind works, but the last thing Elliot needs is another reason to believe he’s unusual.

“In case I forgot what, Elliot?” He smiles and kisses the boy’s forehead, running a hand through his hair.

“How to tell when mom’s happy!” He opens his eyes and rolls onto his back, grinning up at Loki. “I almost forgotted too, she’s been sad so long. S’why I woke up!”

“Well.” Loki’s heart twists painfully in his chest. “Thank you. I think I remember now.”

“I gotcha covered, daddy.”

“Go to sleep, little giant.”

* * * * * * * *

The walk down the hall back to the room leaves Loki wondering.

He…felt it.

The kid could tell you were pregnant before you even knew, he could tell that you were nervous to tell Loki, he knew that Loki was scared before he’d admitted it to you…now he felt that you were happy? Strong enough to wake him up?

Apparently Elliot can do a lot more than just turn blue.

The thought of that is terrifying.

All Loki can think of as his hand rests hesitantly on the doorknob is what he’s done. What he’s passed on to this child, unwillingly taking another life down with his own curses.

Elliot’s life is going to be full of pain, if this is what he is capable of. It’s bad enough that he has no control over the shifting of his skin, no thanks to the fruitless attempts Loki has made to figure out how to help him, but now…

Loki starts when you open the door.

“What’d he need?”

You’re smiling—happy, Loki can tell this time. He silently thanks Elliot for the reminder.

“A hug.” He quickly smiles back. “Wanted to know if I was awake…the usual midnight Elliot inquiries.”

“Can I get one?”

You hold your arms out and grin, giddy and irresistibly bright, and Loki steps forward to sweep you into his arms.

“I’ll give you a bit extra, too,” he chuckles, peppering your neck with light kisses as he walks you backward towards the bed. Your knees hit the edge and you fall onto the mattress, grabbing him behind the neck to bring him down with you.

An arm by your head to keep him hovering over you, Loki pauses, just smiling down at you as a few lingering laughs leave your lips.

“Are you happy, my love?”

Cold fingers run down your cheek and he leans down, brushing his lips against yours.

“Of course I am,” you mumble, tangling your fingers in his hair to keep him close. “You’re home, I’ve got the best little kid sleeping down the hall, and we’ve got another one on the way.” Another peck on the lips. “I’m way past happy, snowflake.”

“Good,” he whispers, and decides that’s going to be enough for him.

That’ll be enough for all four of you.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

hope you enjoyed, feel free to send me ideas!

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