"come home and see my girl cave :)" I say flirtily. You agree, imagining a rec room with some couches and maybe a few vintage consoles. I lead you down into the basement, where I have carved out a slimy grotto with its own ecosystem. by the time you see me dive into the water and come up with a fish in my teeth, it's too late. You want to fuck me so badly.

the housing market is ruining my sex life

ROCKETMAN (2019) dir. Dexter Fletcher

Breast implants can be haunted and/or cursed just like any other object. People don't realize this and it always comes back to bite them in the clit

Can you come off anon and talk better yet start a podcast with me

"Vegan leather" babygirl that is plastic

when you're in a gothic novel and the girl you have a crush on tells you that she wishes you were siblings: 😳

DEVIL'S TRAP Supernatural, 1.22

When I say “free water, free food, free shelter, free healthcare, free education for everyone” in that “everyone” I even include the people I hate. Too many people get surprised at the idea that I do wish for the people I hate to have better lives.

its nothing some ibuprofen and a blunt and 5 beers and a head injury and jacking off and killing myself cant fix

he's built like an unsecured ikea bookshelf and brother, am i a toddler

i come from a place where tv series were 22 episodes and came to us in 72min chunks directly from the mouth of god (megavideo) and with your help we can go back there. take my hand

Today I introduced my sister to “the problem of Susan” and I had to explain to her that Susan was left out of Narnia cuz she liked boys and lipstick now and without missing a beat she said but what about Peter? Does Peter not like girls? And I knew she was pointing out the inherent misogyny at the center of the “the problem of Susan” but the implications of that question are a source of much hilarity to meeee LMFAO like Does Peter not like girls? Does he like boys? Is he Gay? Is Narnia really just a homo-utopia where Lucy is also a lesbian and Edmund is a bisexual disaster and Susan was kicked out cuz she was too straight??? Can I make CS Lewis turn over in his grave with this new reading?

there used to be james flint on tv

girl who didnt study enough for this friendly conversation