#Nymphadora Tonks | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dufferpuffer · 15 hours

Note

What do you think lupin needs in a romantic partner to have a functioning/healthy relationship (as healthy as this man can manage atleast)? What qualities would this person have to have to be able to deal with all the more challenging aspects of being in a relationship with him? But also what does he want in a partner? And what would he absolutely not want?

Me. I am perfect. Remus Lupin hmu

In short: Remus Lupin needs an ANCHOR POINT to harbor his ship. 1. Someone interesting he can pour his attention into. 2. Generally up-beat/optimistic, so he has warmth to lean on. 3. Bold enough to be themselves - even if they're different. 4. Kind and accepting of other people 5. A little 'cute'. 'Quirky'. Small 'issues' support. (just a bonus, really) 6. Independent. Can live without him just fine but still want him. 7. Emotionally strong. Immense maturity and stability. 8. Doesn't have much temper, doesn't start drama or fights. Of course he doesn't need ALL of these boxes ticked - but the highlighted ones are the closest to a MUST for the relationship to even have a chance at being healthy. In long: Explanations (and example characters who I think fit) are below. B^)

Remus is an introverted man. He isn't shy (he can take charge of a room, he can speak publicly, he is good at getting people to like him) but when he isn't the focus he is a wall-flower. He doesn't talk much unless he has something to say. He is deeply, irreparably self-conscious. He has trauma of unintentionally hurting those he loves, so he keeps his distance.

((His parents became sick with the stress of having to move house every few months, find new work every few months, keeping their bank account drained... socially isolated with a son they had to lock away every Full Moon - lest he killed them. They loved him but that was a difficult thing for Remus to grow up witnessing, knowing he was the cause. Knowing him leaving for Hogwarts was the best thing to happen for their health since he was bitten... Of course he pushes people away. He can't help being sick - but he can help them not suffer... if he stays away.))

He is always thinking inwardly. He is always anxious. He wonders how he can make himself smaller, friendlier, less scary… Trying to plan how he wants others to relate to him. He tries to control how others think of him, to steer them away from the bad things... He is a wolf in wizards clothing. If he treats everyone as dolls to manipulate, and if they never know the real him... it will hurt everyone less when he leaves.

1. He needs someone who can bust him out of that toxic mindset. Someone that grabs his attention and pulls it away from himself. Someone interesting, skilled, passionate - living a life he can't achieve. Someone with knowledge or stories he can listen to at length and live a little through them... or they can even include him. More of a talker so he can be a listener, so he can focus on someone else's world - but they're also eager to hear whatever he has to say without prying. They aren't arrogant or loud: they can listen, too. Remus needs good, witty conversation over a cup of tea.

2. They need to be generally up-beat, but not in a way that'll crush his down-beat. They invite him to join in if he wants - or else lean on them like they're a heater for his troubled soul while he feels down. Sometimes he will feel bad, or flat, or tired - and they can't fix it.

I don't think he has any visual preferences. What he notices first about people are their mannerisms. He is always shaping himself to fit the room, so I think he admires people who act authentically: Boldness. Bravery. Honesty. Earnestness. Brashness. So... 3. He would be more attracted to people of subcultures and/or strong interests - or are simply out-of-the-expected-norm. I think he would be fascinated about these little nooks of belonging - alternate 'normal's' when the Wizarding world can be so rigid. (Do I think he has a preference for LGBTQIA+? Yeah. General androgyny too.)

4. Kind. Accepting. They need to be kind to others in general. Because he can't always be kind to others. He puts himself first and sometimes that hurts because he WANTS to be more kind. A partner who can pick up the slack? Who he can trust to always be kind and accepting of him - because they are such a way with everyone...? That's just a requirement, really.

5. A small thing I think he likes in particular: A cute factor. A little clumsy, A little slow, Enthusiastic, Awkward, Weak, A bit short/tall... something that isn't an issue but will pop up every now and then, distract him and make him go '...cute. That was cute.' Something he can effortlessly support. Something he can be thoughtful about, thinking of their needs rather than his own. - They struggle to read quickly? He can read out loud for them. - They tend to act impulsively? He can hold them back just enough to let them to give it a second thought. - They struggle in social situations? So he can talk on their behalf. - They keep fumbling and tripping over? He can keep them steady. It's nice to feel useful and kind in a simple, effortless way. Something so obvious to proves he isn't bad at heart - even when he feels awful.

6. They need to be Independent. What he CAN'T have is someone who NEEDS him. Oh god, the pressure… He cant be trapped. He requires a high level of independence... because he WILL FAIL. He WILL leave and break their heart over nothing. He WILL make promises he doesn't intend to keep - because he intends to run away and never look back. If they NEED him, just to stay afloat…? It will break him. He can't be the bread-winner, even if he could have a stable job. He can't be a long-term emotional support, only short-term. He needs to know that WHEN he breaks down and fucks off not 'if' - even if it's FOREVER… that they will be okay without him. 'Not being ok without him' won't make him stay. He will not 'shape up under a bit of pressure'. It will only injure him.

7. He needs someone strong enough to be forgiving. Not a self-harming, forcing yourself to forgive-and-forget either. That is a very real danger with Remus: If he got with someone who was as much a people-pleasing self-depreciator as him…? He will tear them to shreds. He is a toxic man and he requires tough gloves to handle:- Genuinely emotionally strong. Someone he can lean on, far more than they lean on him. - Wise enough to see through his bullshit manipulations and lies - with enough tact to navigate them, understanding he struggles without judgement but holding him gently accountable. - Empathetic enough to understand him even when he can't explain himself properly. - Mature enough to hold him accountable. Can help him understand how he can do better. He is filled with shame - sometimes for very good reasons that need addressing.

He will go through periods of being unable to be contacted, periods of self-endangerment… He needs somewhere, someone, he can crawl back to in shame. Who WILL talk with him seriously about things… but is willing to just let him sleep quietly for the night in their arms, for now. (Am I saying he needs to date a therapist? Yeah, basically. Dating Remus isn't easy.)

8. Doesn't start fights. Doesn't lash out. Doesn't live off of drama. Remus fits himself into situations passively - he doesn't need someone making situations more difficult to feel comfortable in. If they get angry and yell at him - he will yell one hurtful thing back and leave. He has a very limited ability withstand tension. He tries to keep a level head and a level room - he needs a partner who will support those efforts, or at least not sabotage them.

Partners I think have good chemistry, for examples:

NYMPHADORA TONKS. It is annoying how perfectly she has been made to fit Remus' needs, as she is so underutilized. I wouldn't find her as frustrating if she got more fleshing out in ways that weren't the specific things suited to being with Remus… ugh. - She is a skilled Auror, especially for her age. - She lightens the mood of any room by being playful. - She is unapologetic in being herself, accepting people with ease. - She is a bit clumsy - but capable and hugely independent. - Her ability to roll with the punches is insane: every time Remus is hot-and-cold she has both the ability to hold him responsible for how much it hurts and the strength to still stand there for him. - She is firey and doesn't back down, but she isn't trying to start fights. She's just stubborn and confident in what she has to say. To make claims like 'Remus only likes her because she can shapeshift' or whatever is just... no, its because she is perfect for him.

LUNA LOVEGOOD. Surprising, I know. Perhaps in different circumstances they could have hit it off. - Strong interests, a subculture at the edge of Wizarding society yet she is always 'uniquely' and brazenly herself. - Optimistic and up-beat... a little dreamy, air-headed, focus could use some steering sometimes. - Helpful and kind to all, even those that have been mean to her. - Very used to being alone. Independent in body and soul. Quite comfortable being alone - but friends are nice, too. - Emotional strength is a specialty of hers. Even in the worst situations she keeps her head on her shoulders and, despite how aloof she appears, is intelligent, sharp and serious. - Can make demands when she needs to - not a pushover. Bonus: An interest in magical creatures, too. :)

Close, but I think have a large flaw (that might makes them spicy):

SEVERUS SNAPE - Potions Master. Dark Arts specialist. Veteran teacher. All the steady employment and deep, fascinating interests Remus wishes he could have - along with ALSO having been a Spy... and being misunderstood. They have more in common than they don't. - He isn't optimistic, but he is a problem solver, dedicated to making things better than they are. He faces problems head on while Remus would rather curl away. - He understands feeling quiet and low. He might not be warm, but he is a softer place to rest than you'd expect. - He has never changed himself for anyone. He is stubbornly himself, even when it makes him seem like an outcast weirdo. - He has little patience. He isn't gentle or nice. But he cares enough to be kind, even to those he hates... and he is loyal. It isn't ideal for Remus but it gives him a place to fit himself: If Severus is cold, he is warm. If Severus has the quirk of being a snarky, prickly bastard - Remus is skilled at the opposite. - Independent. Accustomed to being alone. Expects to be alone. Being with someone who understands him... a little daunting, really. The main place I think Severus fails here is emotional strength. He is quick to anger and lashes out. He holds grudges. He starts shit and Remus can't handle shit. Severus needs someone who can temper those anger flares, or at least weather them - and Remus can do neither. But perhaps that is the place they can meet in the middle...?

LILY EVANS - Everyone liked her. Talented, bright and strong-willed, She was a popular girl. I think Remus liked her too, but... James and Severus. - She seems a bit cheeky, quick witted - she brightens a room when she walks in. - She was best friends with Severus for years. Maybe she had other friends in her dorm - but if they were as close to her as Severus was, they would have been HIS friends, too. She was willing to be with the outcast, even when popular. - I know it's a movie quote, but I think it still fits from Remus' POV when he says Lily was an 'uncommonly kind woman' and 'had a way of seeing the beauty in others when that person cannot see it themselves.' I think she accepted him fast and firmly. - She didn't need anyone else. She stood up to James by herself. She knew what she was worth. - She seems to prefer ending fights rather than starting them. She hates a bully. Lily doesn't have the 'grit' (for lack of a better word) to take toxicity. She hated James' bullying. She dropped Severus. She has patience and an 'I can help fix him' desire - but they need to put in the effort, too. James cleaned up his act somewhat and she liked that. Remus isn't going to fully succeed at 'fixing' himself. Not just by 'putting some effort in'. It is going to take so long, and be so slow... Severus would be far easier to 'I can help fix him' - and she couldn't handle him. !!!This isn't saying Lily is weak or something. It is incredibly HEALTHY to not being able to put up with toxic shit, to have the strength to say 'enough is enough'. That is a GOOD thing.!!!

A popular partner I DON'T think works out so easily:

SIRIUS BLACK Sirius Black is a dog. He needs people. He needs constant companionship - especially after Azkaban. He is a mess who needs support, company, loyalty... and Remus can't provide any of that with regularity! Waking up in an empty bed, in a cold room, after Remus timidly promised to 'always be there' for him but was lying... it would shatter Sirius. He doesn't have the strength or stability to lose anyone else. Sirius is honest and sticks to his guns even when times get tough. He would rather DIE than turn his back on a loved one. Remus lies unprovoked and runs away with his tail between his legs at the slightest sign of trouble. Sirius, as a traumatized man, is not going to be able to understand why Remus can just throw away everything he has to run off. How he could just leave him alone again...? Doesn't he love him?! At his worst: he is more likely to try and emotionally trap Remus with him, force him to stay - and that just isn't going to work. Remus is a Wolf. He can't be locked in. I don't even think Sirius at his best, pre-Azkaban, would fit well: - He is upbeat, but in a way that tries to break others out of their funks. It's abrasive for him to hang out with someone sad. ((I'm sure he could learn to do it but his instinct is to help.)) - He is kind - but he has a limit. When that limit is passed, his care is snapped. He holds grudges and he makes judgements. - He is not and has never been independent. He is strong-willed and confident about himself, yes - but he thrives when he is at another's side. He has always been like this Azkaban just made it worse. - He doesn't have what it takes to weather Remus' bullshit. That's not a bad thing either, he know how to cut toxic people from his life when they are too heavy - but post-Azkaban he is even more scared of losing people, which makes him vulnerable. - He starts shit. He jumps into arguments, he escalates, he enjoys the thrill and the drama of it. Remus wouldn't join in, even if he agrees with Sirius, and thus would leave him unsupported. We see this very thing happen in OotP

#love you remus #remus lupin #remus my beloved #hp #severus snape #sirius black #lily evans #headcannons #nymphadora tonks

22 notes · View notes

justagirlwholikesadam · 3 months

Text

Communication

Summary: Communication is very important in a relationship. Remus is great at it then you but when you finally decide to talk about something, it backfires.

Warning: SFW, Tonks not getting the hint that Remus is our man, Sirius being the best friend ever, angst, happy ending. Border Credit: @cafekitsune

Word Count: 2.3K

It’s not like you don't trust your boyfriend because you do, a lot. Remus is a trustworthy guy and he never made you feel that there was a need to worry about your relationship with him. Whenever there were issues, Remus communicated with you. He's a lot better at talking his feelings out than you were. So, when the time comes for you to speak about something that has been bothering you. It just backfires.

Sirius had come home from Paris and brought his niece, Tonks. Sirius had invited Remus and you for dinner at his place. Arriving at his home, you welcomed Sirius with a hug and asked him all about the trip. About to greet Tonks, she ignored you completely and walked up to Remus who was staring at the new pictures that Sirius had placed on top of the fireplace in the living room. You didn't think of anything at first. Tonks was probably excited to meet her uncle's best friend from school. Remus and Sirius were thick as thieves in school and they still are to this day.

Sirius calls you into the kitchen before you could see Tonks getting ready to talk to Remus. You didn't see how she tried to hug him. At the same time Remus stretched his hand out to shake her hand, politely. Tonks blushed in embarrassment and shook his hand instead of hugging him. Dinner was lively and wine was being passed around. Sirius told Remus and you about his time in Paris and how his family made fun of him for putting a picture frame of you and Remus on his night stand.

“You guys are my best mates. I missed you guys.” Sirius said with a pout making you laugh. Sirius has always been a bit dramatic, he was only gone for a week. He began to tell Tonks how he met you and the three of them became like The Three Musketeers.

Since Sirius was back, he invited both of you a lot to come over. For brunch, for lunch and sometimes for dinner. You tried to ignore the stares Tonks gave Remus. You tried to ignore how she grabbed his arm and touched him while he spoke to her. It wasn't until Sirius had a party and you saw Tonks got a little bit too close to him. She had placed her hand on his chest as they spoke. Remus kept talking to her all normal, he was oblivious of what she was doing.

When you finally told Remus how you were feeling, you weren't expecting this.

“Tonks? She's just a kid. She means no harm. A little annoying to be honest.” Remus told you as he looked at you. He was in bed already in a pair of boxers and a white tee. He had a book in his hands while he waited for his cup of tea to cool down on the night stand next to him.

“Okay but it makes me uncomfortable, Remus. I don't like seeing her touch you like that. Maybe you can set some boundaries with her.” You told him as you sat on your side of the bed.

“Boundaries?” Remus repeats with a chuckle and you ignore the heavy feeling in your chest.

“There's no need for boundaries, love. There is nothing going on. She’s a child.” He looks back at his book and you don't know what else to say. This was a first, Remus always listened and welcomed your opinion, your problems with open ears and with no judgment. He knows you have difficulty speaking about your feelings.

You spoke and he just disregarded it saying it was nothing. You felt the room getting smaller, the walls closing in on you and it was difficult for you to breathe, so you just mumbled, “Okay.”

You got up from the bed without another word and walked out. Remus calls out for you asking where you were going. You respond back to him to make tea for yourself. He looks down at his book to continue reading, not noticing the cup of tea already on your night stand. It was the next day when Sirius had invited you for lunch while Remus worked. Hugging Sirius when you met him in the restaurant, he instantly knew something was bothering you. After giving the waiter your order on what to drink, Sirius leans back in his seat and gives you a look.

“What?” You asked looking back at him. “Problem with Moony?”

Sirius quickly gets up from his seat and takes the seat next to you when he sees you crying. He wipes your tears from your face and hugs you until you calm down. He nods at the concerned waiter who brings the drinks. Sirius doesn't move away from you, he had even put his arm behind you as you told him what was bothering you.

“Fuck, love. I can talk to Tonks-.” You cut him off, shaking your head.

“No, maybe Remus is right and I’m just - I don't know. Don’t say anything.” You told him as you reached out for your drink.

“Fine, it doesn't seem like Remus.” Sirius said softly as he watched you take a drink.

“Maybe, he's just getting tired and bored of me. He wants something new. Someone younger.” You blurted out and Sirius frowned.

“Hey.” Sirius calls out for you but you don't look at him. You keep staring down at the table. He grabs your chin and makes you look up at him. You feel the coldness of his silver chunky rings on your skin.

“Never say that shit again, you hear me?” Sirius tells you seriously.

“You're the most non-boring person I know.” Sirius' arm went around you and tugged you closer to him.

“Yeah, ok.” You said making him roll his eyes at you.

“I’m serious. I wouldn't lie to you. You've been there for me since I had my issues with my family when I was younger.” His thumb caressed your cheek as he spoke.

“You're amazing and so beautiful. I really mean it. Moony just having an off day." Sirius said leaning over to grab his drink and the menu. He tells you to order whatever you want, it was on him.

��Thanks for making me feel better and for feeding me. That's the way to my heart.” Sirius smiles and hands you the menu. He didn't leave his seat, he kept sitting next to you.

---

Remus is surprised when he sees Tonks outside his apartment. He was coming back from work while looking at his phone. He has been texting you all day. He was worried since you haven't responded back.

“Tonks, hey.” Remus said, grabbing his keys from his back pocket of his jeans.

“Hey, Moony.” Remus tries to match her smile but he can’t. The nickname, Moony was something only Sirius and you called him.

“How did you find out where I live?” Remus asked her. He noticed she was holding a plate in her hands.

“Remember, I was there when Sirius dropped you and that girl off.” She said, smiling at him.

That girl. He didn’t like how she said that.

“My girlfriend, you mean.” He says your name. Tonks doesn’t even correct herself.

“I came to bring you cookies. As a thank you, you know you've been so nice to me. I don’t have lots of friends since I just came here.” Tonks said, handing him the plate wrapped in foil.

“Thank you, Tonks.” He looks down at the plate and looks up at her. Remus doesn’t want to offend her and ask her to leave but she’s Sirius’ niece.

“Want to come in for a cup of - ?” She answered him right away before he could finish his question

Remus opens the door and allows her to go inside. He turns the lights on and walks to the kitchen with Tonks behind him. He places the plate on the counter and goes to turn on the kettle. Remus checks his phone once more to see if you had texted him back, his shoulders slumps down. You haven't. He tried to think back about yesterday as he grabbed cups from the cabinets. He had fallen asleep first after speaking with you. He woke up and you had already left the apartment. You had left him a note saying you were going out. He sighs as he places the cups on the counter. He turns around and lets out a yelp when he notices Tonks is standing behind him.

“Shit! You scared me.” Remus said, placing a hand on his chest and gave her an awkward laugh.

“You’re so funny.” He frowns at her. He wasn’t trying to be funny.

“You know, I think you’re really cute. I was wondering if we should get together. Have some fun.” Tonks tells him as she touches his hand, grabbing it and placing it over her breast.

Remus shook his head and ripped his hand from her grasp.

“What the fu- Tonks! No! No!” He begins to shout at her as he walks away from her. Tonks follows him and he points his finger at her.

“STOP!” She does and stares at him shocked.

“Excuse me, I have been giving signals every time I see you and plus you let me touch you.” She told him and it hits him like a ton of bricks the moment she said that.

You told him about this last night and he just disregarded it like it was nothing. You had told him about the touching and how you felt uncomfortable. He feels like a shitty person now. He walks back when Tonks tries to grab his arm again. Remus lets out a sigh and runs his hand through his hair before placing his hands on his hips.

“I have a girlfriend, Tonks. I love her so much. She’s the only girl for me and she’s the only girl I love. I tried to be nice but I see how you mistook my kindness as me being interested in you. I’m not interested in you. I will never be interested in you like that. We can still be friends but I need to set up some boundaries. Do not touch me like that anymore, only my girlfriend can touch me.” Remus told her and the kettle started to blow.

Without waiting for her response. He passed her and turned off the stove. He looked over his shoulder at her and noticed the look on her face.

“I really don't think you love her. Why would you let me be so close to you if you did love her?” Tonk asked and Remus just stared at her.

“I thought it was just being friends. Sirius and her, we are all like that.” Remus tells her. Tonks cross her arms over her chest.

“So if you see her touching Sirius’ chest and his arm. Laughing at him closely you wouldn't think anything of it.”

“No, because I trust her. I trust him.” Remus said. “I think you should leave, Tonks.”

She doesn't say another word and walks out. The door closes with a bang and Remus lets out a sigh of relief. She left without making any trouble. He looks over at the plate on the counter and just throws it in the trash bin, plate and all.

Grabbing his phone, he decides to call you. He needs to make it right, he hated himself for doing that to you.

He smiles when the call picks up. “Hey Moony.” His smile dropped when it was Sirius’ voice.

“Hey, Pad. Is my girl with you?” Remus asked.

“Yeah, we were having lunch. Almost leaving, she just went to the loo. Everything okay, mate?” Sirius asks through the phone.

“Yeah. Yeah, I'm just an idiot.” He answers his friend.

“The biggest.” Sirius adds and Remus frowns. Of course, you told Sirius. He couldn't be mad at you after all.

“She’ll be home soon. I’ll take her home so you guys can talk.”

“Thanks, Pads.” Remus said as he dropped the call. Remus waits for you, he’s sitting on the couch when he hears the front door open.

“Hey.” Remus said, standing up and walking towards you.

“Hey.” You answer back as you take your coat off, hanging your bag on the hook by the door.

“I have a huge headache, sorry I didn't answer your text. I'm going to take a nap.” You tell him, taking your shoes off then walking past him. Remus bites the inside of his cheek when you pass him without greeting him with a kiss or a hug like you always do.

He follows you into the bedroom and you sit down on your side of the bed. Remus knows, you're trying to keep your feelings bottled up, this is what you do and it was his fault. He calls your name softly by the door and he quickly walks to you when he sees your teary eyes.

He doesn't hesitate to kneel down in front of you so he can look up at you. “I’m sorry. I really am. I’m sorry for disregarding your feelings like that. I was stupid. I didn't see it before but I do now.”

He feels defeated when you shake your head. “It’s okay.”

“No! It’s not okay! I shouldn't have done that.” Remus said firmly cupping your face.

“I told Tonks about it. I set boundaries with her and told her she can’t touch me like that anymore. Fuck, I’m really sorry. I'm sorry I didn't realize at first and I'm sorry for just ignoring it when you tried to speak to me about it.” Remus feels your arms wrap around his shoulders. He closes in with a hug. He hugs you while kissing the side of your face.

“I feel so dumb now. I was telling Sirius, you probably don't want me anymore. You want someone younger..” Remus cuts you off, he doesn't believe what he’s hearing.

He says your name. “I would never want someone else. I want you. I’ll always want you.”

#remus lupin x you #remus lupin angst #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #sirius black #nymphadora tonks #angst #happy ending #harry potter fanfiction #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin imagine

641 notes · View notes