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you’re stuck living with your icon for a month have fun
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OK so the line of dialogue turned into a kind of rushed almost-900-word fic….
Never forgive, never forget
(1991 Lockdown of Azkaban)
It took a moment to recognise the prisoner hunched by the hurriedly-closed door. It wasn’t until the woman raised her head - sunken eyes glaring from beneath matted dirty red hair - that Freyja realised who it was. Gone was the proud and arrogant Professor Rakepick, here now was merely a vengeful shell of what that woman had once been.
“Well well well…” a ghost of Rakepick’s old sneer flickered across worn features. “If it isn’t the source of all my problems.”
She began circling the room, eyes locked on her former student - no, her former pawn. Here now, wandless - just like her. And best of all, the scales were definitely tipped in her favour. Her skill and speed in wandless magic far exceeded that of Freyja’s. At that, she straightened her posture slightly, in some semblance of her old stance.
Freyja swallowed hard but remained silent, slowly moving around the interrogation room’s perimeter, maintaining the distance between them. Her heart was beating so hard she swore it could be heard across the room.
“Now I know why I’m hiding in here…” Rakepick began, narrowing her eyes in what looked like amusement . “But why are you? I thought you’d be out there getting yourself into another mess you can’t handle…”
Mad-Eye locked me in here. Getting a student killed or even hurt under his watch wouldn’t be great for his career. He’s mad, not stupid.
Rakepick flexed her fingers. “By the way, I never got the chance to thank you for sending me to this hellhole.”
Freyja managed to push past the lump in her throat and finally spoke. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“Oh no?” That old sneer again. “Did you ask the authorities to exercise a little leniency? Let me off with a slap on the wrist?”
“No. I just hoped you’d die in the Sunken Vault.”
Rakepick let out a harsh bark of laughter. “Small mercy that would have been! If I had stayed down there, I would have been swept into Death’s merciful embrace in a matter of days! Days!” She moved a little closer now, her voice dropping to a hiss. “But now, because you had to tell the Professors where you left me, I get to relive my worst memories day after day after week after month, and there’s NO end in sight, you know why?? Because they don’t want you to die here! Oh no! They keep you alive, just strong enough to keep the jailers satisfied! JUST ENOUGH FOOD AND WATER TO MAKE SURE YOU CAN KEEP ON SUPPLYING THOSE FUCKING DEMENTORS WITH ANYTHING RESEMBLING A POSITIVE EMOTION UNTIL YOU’RE DRAINED OF EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU A HUMAN BEING!!!”
Freyja was sliding her hand on the wall behind her trying to find the hidden panic panel, trying her best to keep her breathing calm. “Well that makes me feel a little better then. I’d hate to think a traitorous bitch like you got off easy.”
“You should be begging for my forgiveness, you selfish little shit.” Rakepick moved within a few feet of Freyja now, positively snarling at this point. “Whatever wrongs you think I’ve done, I’ve paid for at least a hundred times over. This never-ending sea of torment you’ve doomed me to is more than any human is meant to endure, and damned if you think I’m going to stay here - ”
“Then leave. I’m not stopping you.”
“Oh don’t worry.” Rakepick curled her lip into a mirthless smile. “I fully intend on escaping from this place. And you’re going to help me.”
“You’re even more insane than I thought if you think I’d willingly help you.”
“I wasn’t thinking anything so voluntary.”
Feeling the slightly warmer panel underneath her hand, Freyja pushed down. It didn’t budge. Freyja stubbornly kept her gaze locked onto Rakepick’s crazed, glazed over eyes. The woman was angry and desperate, which made her all the more dangerous. “A hostage? Dementors won’t give a shit about a hostage’s safety if it’s in the way of getting a prisoner back.”
“Actually I was thinking less of a hostage and more… a distraction.”
The panic panel still wasn’t depressing into the wall. Come on, come on! Fuck! Freyja frowned in exertion, hoping it would be mistaken for wondering how Rakepick intended to use her as a distraction. “I don’t get it.”
“Of course you don’t. But I’ll tell you - those soul-suckers out there are starved. They’ve only been able to feed off whatever remnants of humanity are left in this cesspit of human souls, but you - ” Rakepick stared intently at Freyja. “You are fresh from the outside. You’ve still got plenty of good thoughts and memories in that little head of yours. A veritable feast for any Dementor in here. Think of yourself as my own little living Patronus, Miss Young.”
“I’d much rather think of you rotting in here for the rest of your life.” Freyja said through gritted teeth, thinking finally she may be feeling the panic panel start to budge.
“Save your happy thoughts for the Dementors, sweetheart.” Rakepick moved forward , creating an even more uncomfortable closeness. The acrid smell of body odour wafted up Freyja’s nostrils. “You better hope there’s enough to satisfy the Dementors before you’re left with nothing but your own worst memories. And well, if that happens…. at least it’ll make me happy.”
#hogwarts mystery#hphm mc#freyja young#patricia rakepick#ask#drinkyoursoupbitch#worldbuilding wednesday#not quite what the soup fairy asked but uhh you can kinda guess what freyja thinks of reconciliation and forgiveness….
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it would be one thing if it was just the horrors but it's all the little horrorcitos también
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i hear a good lyric and start mentally holding up blorbos like im in the home depot paint aisle comparing swatches
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The Stork, Obviously
This post inspired me to do something about my tomfoolery. It's not NSFW, but the conversation is about where babies come from and one of them is himbosexual. Make of that what you will.
Sometime in April, 1995....
"Hey, Chridhe?"
Wendy leaned into the hallway, hanging off the bathroom doorframe with her toothbrush hanging out of her mouth. "Where do muggle babies come from?"
At the exact moment, Ben's body apparently decided to try a different route with the bite of jelly donut he'd just taken. He erupted into coughs, spraying black coffee from his mug across the kitchen table top.
Ned, who had been sitting next to him filching bites of the pastry, scuttled off the table in a flurry of little claws for cover in his nest.
"Ye alrigh'?" Wendy called over the running sink water in the bathroom and reemerged to hurry down the hall.
"Hrrrrrgghhhhh..." The donut was well and truly lodged in his trachea.
He couldn't breathe.
He stood and slapped the table, sending cutlery flying. As if that would help dislodge it.
"Oh shite, no yer not!" Wendy scrambled to the mantle and grabbed her wand. "Accio donut chunk!"
The spell yanked the offending foodstuff out of his throat, across the room, and into her palm.
"Bleeegh..." Wendy held her hand out as far from herself as possible as she marched to the sink to wash. "Can ye breathe?"
Ben nodded, leaning over the table to gasp for air. He wiped his streaming eyes with a kitchen towel that was left on the back of a dining chair. When he could finally speak again, he coughed out, "What did you ask me?"
"Where do muggle babies come from?" She said, shaking her wet hands over the sink.
All he could do was stare at his young wife in shock. Standing there in the glory of domestic bliss, curly blue hair tousled, wearing one of his shirts that barely covered the lacey edge of her pretty black underwear, was Wendy Gordon. The smartest woman he knew. And, she was asking where babies came from.
"Wendy, darling... last night we--"
"Obviously, I know where wizard babies come from." She shot him a cheeky smile over her shoulder as she set about charming the dishware to fix herself a giant mug of tea.
He continued to stare at her in bafflement. Perhaps even more baffling than her question, however, was the sudden desire to throw her over his shoulder and march her back down the hallway to their bedroom.
She must have read his mind because she squinted at him playfully. "What?"
"Nothing." He shrugged, sitting on the edge of the table and trying to look as innocent as possible.
"Ye think that's a stupid question, don't ye."
"I didn't say that."
Wendy studied him, using her mug to hide a flirty smile that made warmth bloom somewhere below his lungs.
"Stop it, Benjamin."
"Stop what?"
"Stop getting turned on when ye think I'm being dumb, ye weirdo!" She grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl behind her and chucked it at him.
The banana connected with his arm before he could grab his wand from the table. "It's endearing! I can't help it! Agh!" Another yellow fruit was lobbed at his head. This time, he sent it flying towards the couch with a wordless swish and flick.
Ned poked his glossy red head out from his basket on the windowsill over the sink and blinked beady eyes.
Wendy leaned conspiratorily towards the niffler, "I'm asking yer father a perfectly reasonable question--"
"Don't get him involved! It is NOT a reasonable question, Wendy." Ben threw up his hands, "My parents were muggles... Where do you think I came from?"
He really didn't want the involuntary image of his parents having intercourse on a Saturday morning. Or any morning, for that matter.
"The cabbage patch."
The response was so matter of fact, it made him blink, "The what?"
"Delivered by a stork." She scratched the niffler's head and gave it a kiss. The little creature purred happily.
"Muggles have sex, Wendy!" It would be mortifying if the neighbors heard that. They probably did.
"Aye, but only for fun, everyone knows that."
He spluttered, "N-no!... I mean, yes!... that too, but muggle babies come from the same place!" He wordlessly summoned the banana from the couch and chucked it back at his wife. His aim went wide and high, but she lunged to catch it without spilling so much as a drop of tea and returned it to the bowl in one fluid motion.
That was cool. Did that actually just make him blush?
"Mmmmmm..." she considered, then set the mug down and slunk towards the hallway again. "I don't think so." For emphasis, she poked him in the belly as she passed. Something about the look in her eyes made his brain go fuzzy.
That's it.
He dipped, grabbed her around the waist, and hefted her over his shoulder. To the bedroom with this deliciously insufferable woman.
She shrieked in delight but slapped his back hard, "Hang on, hang on, be careful!"
He set her back down. "What's wrong?"
"I'm pregnant."
#hphm#gwendolyn gordon#wendy local ravenclaw himbo(gn) iconic#death by donut would have been a lame-ass way to die tho - can you imagine??#glad my tags on the OG post could help 😂😂
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Rv Harem: Methinks you did an answer to what Freyja did for a Valentine’s Day quest (her getting a love letter instead of writing a love letter) so methinks letter writer is also a one-off joke that was mentioned long long long -enter infinity more longs- ago?
ohhhhh, that WAS long ago 😅
all those “love letters” / Valentines Howlers were actually a Tulip/Tonks collaborative prank - so no secret love interest there!
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🤲🏼
OH SHIT
Is it World Building Wednesday already??
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カツブシよこせです
Give me bonito flakes!
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I'd like everyone to know that, canonically, there was a period of 10 years in which Wendy thought muggle babies were indeed delivered by a stork.
She knew where wizard babies came from. That's obvious.
But muggle babies...
#hphm#ok so like did she think muggles have different bits than magical people?#where did she think muggleborns came from?#an accident when muggles realised they could fuck?#or that muggles just did it for funsies and their babies were completely unrelated to the process?#wendy my guy(gn) how old were you when you found out the truth?
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not to sound like a medieval peasant or a catholic but i resent anti-carb propaganda so much like bread will never be evil it is holy it is divine it is one of life’s most simple yet decadent pleasures. love is stored in the bread
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okay everyone reblog and tell me your favorite perfume. but if your favorite is glossier you… don’t bother
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Ok, so we got…*squints at list*
A narcoleptic, coffee-addict
A rebellious ladies’ man related to the first guy
A cinnamon roll-for-brains sweetheart
An emotionally constipated ghost
An anonymous love-letter writer
An Italian Kiki’s Delivery Service-style Baker
and now…
A socially awkward Japanese demon
The Reverse Harem Love Story that Freyja never asked to have and that most of the guys find themselves a part of whether they like it or not.
Soon to be adapted into a Dating sim and an Anime. 🕶️✨
shhhh that’s been my intention all along (jk)
❤️Coming soon❤️
The chance to play as Freyja in the late 90s - try to get her professional and personal life back on track after the second wizarding war. Choose from an ever-increasing number of routes with a number of characters who never wanted to be part of this in the first place!
though to be honest:
Duncan is dead and stuck at 15 years old - nothings happening there
bakery dude was just a one-off joke that someone sent in
noppera-bō bro would be perfectly happy never to run into Freyja again
((but who is the anonymous love-letter writer??? i honestly can’t remember posting anything like this - i am so confused 😵💫))
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