#None of my posts are intended to be taken as romantic I have no ships in Sweet Home | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

snacksizedgates · 2 years

Text

How the Boys Don't Cry Reference(s) are About Mike, and Not Will

In this post I'm going to explain the significance of this poster, where else it is referenced besides this one shot and how the motif represents the character of Mike.

So Will, in the first episode is seen painting right next to this poster of "Boys Don't Cry" by the Cure. I know most people have picked up on this but for those who haven't and don't know the context - this song is about toxic masculinity and the internal thoughts men have while experiencing said toxic masculinity. It's also popular in the LGBT+ community.

So let's first breakdown the lyrics and how they apply to Mike; and then I am going to show you what scene it's blatantly referenced in, basically confirming Mike is gay/queer/in the closet.

This is the first verse of the song. It reflects how Mike feels when he treats Will poorly up until his apology scene.

"I would say I'm sorry."

Already this sticks out to me. If you notice in the apology scene to Will, although it is CLEARLY an apology, he never explicitly says "I'm sorry". He says the exact words "I'm sorry" to El in his failed apology scene however. A complete contrast. Very ironic. I don't think I'm looking too into it because they could have easily had Mike say I'm sorry in an apology scene and like why wouldn't he?? He's apologizing lol.

He does this because he knows saying "I'm sorry" to each of them have the same implications. No, he doesn't literally think "Apologizing to El my girlfriend is similar to apologizing to my best friend, Will, because I'm crushing on him". He just feels and intuitively knows that they're both in a romantic context, not platonic, and it makes him nervous.

"If I thought it would change your mind / But I know that this time / I have said too much / I have been unkind"

First of all just note that literally none of this reflects Will's character.

Anyway, this is why while El is still around, Mike focuses on her. He knows how he treated Will was wrong, and we know he already thinks Will has intentionally pushed him away by saying Will never reached out either. We know this is true because Will doesn't deny it. If he had reached out more he would have said so. With Mike, he's typically not afraid to stick up for himself. He'll tell him right out. Boyfriend dynamics.

So they both have not been reaching out to each other in fear that the other doesn't care about them anymore.

So basically the line "If I thought it could change your mind" means Mike feels like their friendship is done and gone and never gonna recover and that it's his fault. This can be supported not only by this line but by his line about El after the fight - that he feels their fight was something you can't come back from. And if you've read my other posts, you'll know that whatever is happening in one ship, the opposite is happening in the other. And immediately too; as soon as one is taken out of a situation, the other is thrown right into the same one.

So in all the scenes before El leaves and before Mike apologizes, he feels as though he and Will will never be close again. The "But I know that this time, I have said too much, I have been unkind" is referencing events in both S3 and S4. As you may know, we never get to see Mike apologize to Will in S3 although he intends to. And then they are swept up in the events of the season so presumably Mike never apologizes and then Will leaves to Cali. They're not on bad terms - we have all the hugging at the end - but that doesn't mean Mike isn't thinking about how and why he treated Will poorly just a year ago.

So Mike comes to Cali thinking their friendship is dead. Why even get himself attached again? If you watch the scenes of Byler in the second episode you'll notice Mike doesn't really start treating him poorly until the end, after El was bullied right in front of them both and they can't find her (so they're both stressed out) and once Will starts bringing up how he feels like a third wheel. Before that, he's basically, just as Will said, third wheeling him, or trying to stay as distant as possible. In the Airport scene, he tries to greet Will but it's awkward because since the end of S3, he's figured/figuring something out about himself. (Finn even confirms this I believe). He doesn't sound mean, or like he doesn't like Will, he's just distant and awkward because he's scared of getting close to Will again, especially now that they're teens, and doesn't want to get attached to someone he can't even be around physically (Hawkins isn't the same without you, I feel like I lost you, etc) -- he misses Will physically being there. He doesn't mind writing letters and seeing El every now and then, cause he doesn't say anything like this to her. (I feel so bad for El when I write these Byler posts 😔 like truly I hate it) But basically, Mike is third wheeling Will because 1) he thinks their friendship is over and 2) he doesn't like or understand the feelings he has for Will and would rather just ignore them. He's feeling guilty, probably missing how they were, wondering why he doesn't feel as strongly for El, etc etc.

We have ALL the context we need for Will, they put it there narratively and obviously. Whereas with Mike it's typically subtext, especially in the last two seasons.

His context is all the subtext, like this song. They put the poster in Will's room so we never even think to personally connect it to Mike, but if you read the lyrics it doesn't reflect Will at all. He's never been unkind to Mike, he doesn't need to say he's sorry, and he cries all the time. This is all the opposite for Mike, suggesting that we can take this poster and apply it to him, since they're a pairing romantically and platonically.

Also, the first time we see the poster it's juxtaposed with Will painting a picture for Mike - the complete opposite of what the song says in the lyrics. Will is being so open this season whereas it's the opposite for Mike.

So the above section of lyrics basically represents Mike because he's feeling guilty about how he treated Will and sad about how they grew apart, so it feels impossible to fix and now he thinks the best solution is to just push him away (toxic masculinity).

Most of this is pretty straightforward and if you just think about it in the context of Mike, it makes way more sense.

"I tried to laugh about it / cover it all up with lies. I tried to laugh about it / hide the tears in my eyes / cause boys don't cry, boys don't cry"

I tried to laugh about it means they tried to not care. In relation to Mike this means he tried to not care about his feelings for Will, as we can see in S3.

Think back to the scene in S3 right before the fight, and the fight. Right before, he pokes fun at Will for still being into DnD. He's laughing at Will. Trying not to care about how he really feels and move on. Maybe if I move on from DnD, I'll move on from Will. Maybe if I get a girlfriend, I'll have less time for Will. He's not actively thinking this (no teenager is) but he's acting out his subconscious feelings. Note that we know from S4 that he actually still likes DnD. So then then they go out into the storm to have their fight, where he starts covering his feelings up with lies. (Or projections.) He says its not his fault you don't like girls, even though Will never suggested it was, he suggested Mike's ruining the party over a girl. He's projecting. but we're not kids anymore, Yes they are, a lie/misperception. what did you think really? we were never gonna get girlfriends? none of them have girlfriends because both Mike and Lucas have been dumped atp, so a lie. we're gonna sit in my basement and play games for the rest of our lives? In Mike's basement, they only ever play DnD, not just any games, so this can allude to them figuratively playing games with each other and not admitting their feelings. And we know from S4 that Mike still likes DnD enough to wear his clubs shirt to school, so he's projecting. The fact that Mike raises his voice angrily when he says "it's not my fault you don't like girls" can point to the lyrics "and boys don't cry, boys don't cry" they get angry. But as soon as he snaps, he instantly feels bad and says he not trying to be a jerk, meaning he also has a soft side, but it's being corrupted by toxic masculinity. Note that he's "not trying to be a jerk" - he's not trying, he can't help it because he's becoming a teenager who's closeted/doesn't understand his feelings, in 1985. He's "not trying to be a jerk" and then he subsequently does all the jerky things I listed above. He's being corrupted by toxic masculinity which is the main theme in Boys Don't Cry.

He also covers up his feelings with lies/projections in S4. He tells Will "we're friends, friends." First, Will never suggested they weren't or they were something else, he suggested that Mike didn't care about their friendship anymore. Second, he says it twice, to put emphasis, because he knows he doesn't even believe it, projecting how he feels onto Will. He also doesn't say best friends even though in S3 they would consider themselves that. He's trying to distance himself from Will because he has recognized, on some level, how he feels and doesn't want to admit that. And then what happens could connect to the lyrics "hide the tears in my eyes" -- Note that Will never hides the tears in his eyes. There's tons if shots of him crying in front of others. Will suggests they used to be best friends and Mike admits how he really feels, to a degree. He says Will should've reached out more and then says why is this on me? why am I the bad guy? He makes a valid point, and based on his behavior, in previous scenes, he's felt the same as Will since Will left Hawkins. Will has no answer to why he didn't reach out, meaning he reached out probably just as much as Mike did, and Mike knows this. The audience know why Will didn't - he has a crush and thinks Mike doesn't reciprocate therefore he doesn't want to seem like he has a crush. But with Mike, the audience is not clued in on this. We think he's just ignoring Will when really he's wondering where his drawings and letters from Will are. Think back to his last shots in S3. Something that can signal that he was expecting stuff from Will is in the Airport scene when Mike and Will finally are greeting each other. The first thing that is said is by Mike who immediately looks down at the painting and nervously asks what it is. He QUICKLY pivots from greeting Jonathan to asking Will about the painting, indicating he's been thinking about it as soon as he saw Will holding it. He's nervous cause he's hoping it's for him - the precedent is there, Will always gave Mike drawings and Mike knows Will has been working on a painting for someone. Mike is hoping that someone is him. But because of his distant and awkward behavior, Will doesn't give it to him cause he's second guessing himself, making Mike feel even more like their friendship is dead. Now he assumes it's not for him. Neither of them are to blame, homophobia is.

Basically, the rest of the lyrics mirror the same theme but with different words and repeat some of the verses we already went over. The end point is that the theme of the song "Boys Don't Cry" is bottling up your feelings, not being able to treat the person you love right, wanting to apologize and open up but not knowing how to. These are all things we can see in Mike and not just in the context of Byler, but Mileven and other characters as well, mostly since S3. He can't say I love you, he doesn't know how to act in his relationship with his girlfriend, especially when there's not something supernatural going on, there's at least scenes (probably more) where he calls himself or his feelings stupid/not important, and he projects his feelings onto others. And lastly, but most importantly, he doesn't cry. He hasn't actually cried since S2. All of S3 and all of S4 he doesn't cry, even when El is dying on the table. Will can be seen at least tearing up in the background and Will cries all the time. This song absolutely represents Mike Wheeler.

Okay, so now that we're done with lyrics and established Mike's behavior as being related to this song, let's take a look at this shot, where Will is seen crying.

Notice anything? Let me put another picture here for you.

This is, obviously, the Boys Don't Cry Poster.

So let's break how this scene references this poster. This part is the quickest.

So for the poster we have a blue background, a yellow foreground, a red triangle, a sun, the desert and three trees.

In the shot above of Byler, Mike has his blue sweater on in the background. Will is wearing his yellow flannel in the foreground. They are riding through a sunny desert. And Will is crying.

Will crying IN THIS SHOT, absolutely means that the Boys Don't Cry is about Mike. If everything I have theorized thus far, in all of my theories and analysis, is true or even half true, then Mike is queer and is struggling with those feelings, so to mirror the Boys Don't Cry poster in the scene where Will is opening up, means something. He's not crying, he's in the dark and he's not moving, he doesn't look like he's casually sitting there - this indicates he's dealing with something or thinking about something. When he looks over to Will it's just a quick glance and straight back down to the painting. Will on the otherhand is shown in the light not just crying but breaking down, symbolizing he has fully accepted his feelings for Mike and is working on getting them out. That's why some of his face is shadowed, because he's still struggling. But all of Mike is shown in the dark.

The triangle on the poster represents the love triangle they're in with El, and the three trees represents each of them.

Okay now let me show you another shot.

First of all, this is in Jonathan's POV. I've explained this in another post but essentially it indicates both Jonathan and Mike know he's lying about the El commission and everything. I suggest you read at least that part to fully understand this but if you don't feel like it just go with the fact that the above shot indicates hiding something.

This shot is even more coded for Boys Don't Cry - which, going with my theory above that this shot symbolizes untruth-fullness, conveys that both Will and Mike are hiding something.

Now how it compares to the poster; We can already see it in the other so this shouldn't be difficult to spot but I'll explain it anyway. The top background part is blue (the same blue on Mike's shirt) and the bottom foreground is yellow (the same shade of Will's flannel.) They're obviously still in the sunny desert. But between the blue and yellow is a red object, just like on the poster, that says pizza. Pizza is triangular 99% of the time. So this is very very obviously referencing the poster. The entire scene does, and Will crying only emphasizes that, but this shot is the only shot that resembles the poster almost completely (minus the trees.) The one where we can infer that the both of them are hiding something!!!

I posted it on one of my other theories but someone sent me an ask and pointed out that not only is it from Jonathans "i can sense your dishonesty" POV, but visually they switch places, which indicates they are having the same problems. Something I also wanted to point out about that is the fact that they're being shot in a Mirrors. Again, this shot is only on screen when Will references El and both Jonathan and Mike know he's lying. Being shot in the mirror symbolizes they are mirroring each other in this moment. Visually switching places and you can see the mirror that they're shot in. Very interesting stuff imo.

So yeah, that's pretty much it. I know most of the post is just explaining Mike's behavior but I think it's so obvious how the Boys Don't Cry Poster is meant to symbolize Mike, not Will. There's absolutely nothing about the themes in the song that represent Will - perhaps a line by itself but collectively it does not make sense for Will.

The reason I think this is important is that its yet another symbol in the show that has coded Mike as queer. The more people find the less likely it is that Mike turns out straight lol. There can't be this many coincidences.

One last thing I want to point out that others probably already have is that the poster is yellow and blue, and we know Mike and Will are symbolized through blue and yellow.

But that only started in S3 meaning this Boys Don't Cry dynamic has only existed since S3. Think about why we even know about blue/yellow - they meet in the west. The Duffers set that up in 2018 for S4. We already know the Duffers have been planning ahead for years, so at least to me, this means everything in the Byler scenes are intentional and digging into every little thing is worth it! At this point I don't even have a single inkling of a doubt that Byler won't be endgame. It's just too much. Too too much.

MIKE WHEELER IS GAY END OF STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#byler #byler is real #byler proof #byler theories #byler analysis #stranger things #stranger things analysis #mike wheeler is gay #mike wheeler queercoded #will byers #will byers is gay #byler theory #boys don't cry

396 notes · View notes

ficforthought · 3 years

Text

On being SO DONE with M*sha, a rant a decade in the making!

After giving this some thought I'm going to go ahead and give my opinion on Misha and yesterday’s situation in public for the first time ever. I was going to just post on Twitter but since this has been 12 years in the making I have exceeded the number of tweets I can put in one thread! There’s A LOT in here, so my summary is also long. I'm aware that I will lose followers over this, I'm not looking to offend anyone but it will inevitably happen. I wish anyone leaving all the best as fellow human beings.

TL;DR - having kept quiet for so long I’ve finally reached my limit and it’s all come bubbling out. I’ve never been a fan of Misha, I’ve been ambivalent for the most part, but have never criticised him in any hateful way, that's not who I am, but after all these years of putting up with his bullshit, attention seeking and troublemaking I am DONE. Deleting his tweet containing the word Wincest and replacing it with an APOLOGY just to pander to his Minions and save face is the straw that broke the camel's back. He has consistently pushed his ship on not only fans but on other actors (despite Jensen's discomfort, and him having repeatedly made his feelings known on it), he has stood by while his Minions/Hellers have harassed, victimised, doxxed and sent death threats to people based on their FICTIONAL ships. He has pandered to their gatekeeping, constantly demanded attention in obvious and not so obvious ways, and to the best of my knowledge never criticised their actions even though he's aware of it in a very real way. Some of his Minions have now taken their shit into The Boys fandom and created negativity for Jensen before the guy has even got a foot through the set door, and how is that supporting one half of your ship?

Misha has claimed to be a victim of targeted harassment from Wincest/brother fans (not only shippers) yet his fans have said and done the most despicable things on his watch, all in the name of what he must think is entertainment, or even his idea of a ‘joke’.

Any respect I had for the man based on his humanitarian work has gone because I can only take so much hypocrisy. He and his pandering because of a desperate attempt to be woke and wholly inclusive (which is actually impossible, no matter how good intentions are) are beyond pathetic. Whilst I have never seen why people think he’s so great I have friends IRL and online who genuinely adore the man, yet they have been shocked and upset by his contempt for half of the fandom that made him somewhat famous. It's disgusting and I'm not scrolling by any more. Misha, I hope to never see you on anything J2 related in future because none of us need that kind of negativity, *especially* not J2. Be gone, foul fiend!

OK, so to the too long part. Please be aware that these are my opinions as a fan of the show, of Sam and Dean, and J2, not only as a shipper. I can separate canon and fanon, and can view canon from a gen or shippy PoV. Whether you agree or disagree with my opinion let me be clear that I do not condone constant bashing and hate of a person or character so this isn’t the start of a regular thing for me. It's possible to have an opinion and not show the same vitriol that has been following this man around for years, and that’s what I’m doing. I've not posted this to prompt more negativity, it's simply to get it off my chest and make it clear how I feel. I stand by my philosophy of ship who you want to ship, enjoy it, but don't force it on other people and don't be a dick about it…hmm, that kinda sounds like familiar behaviour, though, does it not?!

I have ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUE with other people liking Misha, Cas or Destiel when it’s for the love of the characters and the ship. What I *do* have an issue with is people who are the true definition of a Heller. I don’t see that as a generic term, don't be ignorant and think I do because I know the difference between actual ship fans and the crazies, both ships have ‘em and I want no part of either of their venom. If you are reading this and class yourself as a Heller then you are part of the problem so run along and as you are all so fond of saying, 'get help' and take your bestie king with you.

I’m stating my opinion in what I feel is the most mature way I can, because unlike many people on SM, I am an adult and can act accordingly, with forethought and without resorting to temper tantrums and bullying of other people to get my point across. I am able to tell the difference between reality and fiction, I don't tar everyone with the same shipper brush and I don't expect everyone to agree with my opinion, but as we know opinions are like arseholes, we all have them and sometimes they stink. Unlike some, for the most part in life (online and offline) I *do* stand by what I say and don’t backtrack or delete things to appease the masses. I have spent a lot of time writing this out to be as clear as possible without being intentionally hateful. Bear with me jumping between actor and character where relevant, at this point they're conjoined. I will say this before I go any further, it doesn’t end well for Misha, I don’t mince my words and if you don’t like seeing facts and opinions laid out, this isn't the post for you.

I’ll say right off the bat what most of you have surmised - I’ve never held Misha (or Cas) in high esteem but I have never *hated* on him. I have shared mild criticism of his actions and opinions on Cas over the years but never, I feel, in any way that has made me feel I have something to apologise for. I have said several times I've been unhappy about Misha crashing con panels, taking attention away from J2 when at those cons *most* people paid their hard earned money to see the STARS of the show they love, first and foremost, and anyone else is a very nice bonus. The odd appearance here and there crashing a panel is fine (and Misha isn’t the first or last person to do it), maybe take up a few minutes then leave, but when someone commandeers an entire panel, that's just not on. It's not only selfish, rude and attention seeking but also disrespectful to other actors, fans and to the organisers who work hard to make sure everything ties in to give us the best con experience we can have. Everyone gets their turn on stage, there's no need to try and hog any more of the limelight, Veruca Salt style. Oh, and if you’re reading this and not getting that reference, (a) you shouldn’t be on my blog because you’re far too young, (b) look it up, and if you still don’t get what I’m saying… well then please refer to point (a). Thank you, kindly!

There was a time in Kripke's era where Cas was - I feel - intentionally used as a pawn by the writers to divert *canon* from the ‘questionable’ relationship between Sam and Dean, i.e. Wincest focus. Prior to that people (other fans) lightened up and just accepted the fact that Wincest had been there since day one in terms of the writing of the show and the fandom. All the cast and crew knew - J2, Kripke and JDM in particular - and made light of it, never judging, never shaming and often encouraging it because they understand it’s a fun part of fandom. Wincest was present enough to be part of the not so subtle subtext, as I said people just accepted it. Kink tomato was alive and well, so was ‘don’t like, don’t read’ and we all just scrolled over things we didn’t like without turning everything into a personal vendetta and excuse for bullying others who didn’t share our views. When the angels came into the plot I think most of us Wincest fans gave the Dean/Cas innuendos the small laugh they deserved and then turned back to the focus of the show which was the brothers, as it had always been intended. Misha, however, milked those moments as much as possible which was amusing at the start but got old *very* quickly, not just for fans (shippers and non shippers alike), but for other actors, in particular Jensen who is on record MULTIPLE times showing his dislike for Destiel. He told people outright that's not how he was playing the relationship between the two characters and CATEGORICALLY said "Destiel doesn't exist" but did it end there? No, it did not because neither fans or Misha let it go, in fact Misha only pushed more, goaded fans into flogging the same dead horse as much as possible. He’s never stopped, not even when there was so much discord in the fandom, a huge wedge was driven into it because of ships, which IMO he heavily contributed to.

Fast forward to over a decade later (a decade, seriously man, let it fucking go!) he didn’t even stop when Destiel did partially go canon. I have never doubted that Cas loved Dean (Sam, too) because in SPN lore angels are made to love, even rebellious ones. I, along with many others, liked that about Cas because who doesn't love a rebel, especially one rebelling for very good reasons, and because of those two wonderful men? Sam and Dean allowed him to see beyond what he'd been brainwashed to believe his entire existence. The fact is that although the nature of that love changed for Cas, it never did for Dean and was CANONICALLY UNREQUITED because Dean was incapable of loving anyone else as much as he loved Sam. All that mattered to Dean, even when he saw other characters as "family" was still Sam…ALWAYS Sam, every step of the way. Again for those who have too much Misha shaped wax in their ears, that’s canon. Whether people choose to see that love platonically or romantically is up to them, soulmates don't always have to be romantic, either way, brotherly love won out above all else on the show. No amount of Misha screaming ‘hey look, Destiel!’ changed that, but it sure didn’t stop him trying, did it?

So now that the obvious has been stated, here's something else we all know - never once in all of the years on the show did Misha drop rallying of the troops to his precious, ego stroking ship. Never once (that I am aware of) has he called out his Minions and Hellers on their continued harassment of everyone involved in the show and other fans despite the fact that they have bullied, victimised and wished bodily harm, rape and death on people who don't see their ship and because didn't get the ending to the story that they wanted. Not once has Misha shown any remorse for the trauma his "fans" have caused, and I’m taking REAL trauma, here, not the kind Twitter stans see as ‘triggering’ - people have been driven to close SM accounts, attempted, and in some cases succeeded in taking their own lives. These Minions have openly mocked Jared’s struggles with depression and anxiety, and Misha - who claims to be friends with J2 and be supportive of them in every way - has stood by and let it all play out, knowing full well some of the goings on, if not the full extent of how toxic these people are. We know he sees things being said online, and I have absolutely no doubt he spends time online searching his name for things that are relevant in some way to him in an effort to insert himself into a current conversation, or even start one so that attention is on him. Gotta stay relevant, somehow, right, Mish?

He has actively encouraged bullying by his actions of enabling the behaviours above, both by the flogging of the aforementioned dead horse, AND by not objecting to unacceptable behaviours. Remember when Minions and Hellers were slating J2, particularly Jared, for not posting on SM about BLM and other topics? Yeah, he didn’t ask them to stop doing that, either, even when he was tagged in things along the lines of ‘If Misha can post why can’t J2?’ etc. There have been some token protests, con vids I've seen have show his 'objections' which IMO have been done in a very tongue in cheek way, meaning that those people who needed to be pulled aside and told to change their ways just carried on, because their evil overlord didn��t explicitly explain it in terms a three year old could understand that bullying and forcing your opinion on others is WRONG. Not all of his cult are young and impressionable, not by a long shot, but many of the more vocal and vitriolic ones are.

As a father himself I wonder what Misha would do if he found out that his kids were behaving in ways his Minions are? I’m aware they’re young, but kids are cruel and bullying doesn’t just happen online. Even at whatever age they are, would he laugh it off the way he appears to have done with all of this fandom toxicity? Not bloody likely! I wonder if he’s as desperate to gain the approval of his family, friends and colleagues as he appears to be for that of his Minions/Hellers? I would certainly hope so, but that question can only be answered by Misha, himself, and I can and will not presume to speak on someone else's behalf on things in their personal life. For the record I would never presume I know what J2's answers would be on anything, however I do feel that after 15 years I have an accurate gauge on what kind of people they are so would be confident that any opinion I had on a matter aligns with their morals and ethics. As much as J2 have shared of themselves with us - willingly and under no pressure to do so, I might add - we don't *know* them, but we know enough to have an informed opinion. I can’t say the same for Misha because based on the behaviour he’s repeatedly displayed, things I've heard about from other fans as well as people I know IRL who have had direct dealings with him through cons or GISH (including some very actively in the early days when it was GISHWHES) he just hasn’t seemed like a person I wanted to follow on SM. I’ve never watched any of his solo panels, though I have watched ones with both or one of the J's, mostly being left irritated because of his behaviour. Watching the J’s put up with that shit is painful, and it’s a testament to how good they are as actors that they managed to hide at least some of their disdain for as long as they did. Microexpressions give them away, particularly Jensen, and they certainly have faces I have spent many years watching closely. Beautiful faces to go with beautiful souls, both of them! <3

I have precisely ZERO interest in Destiel as a ship, very little interest in Cas as a character anymore (though I did like him in the early days,and his relationship with Jack in late seasons) so I have absolutely no reason or desire to follow anything Misha does. That said, I've obviously been peripherally aware of some things he's been involved in because of friends, from things I’ve seen on SM and general fandom stuff. Despite the things I've already mentioned about his behaviour, up until now I have been able to maintain a level of respect for him as a person because of the humanitarian and charity work he's done. He seems like someone who really does want to change the world for the better and I am in full support of that fact, so much so that I have supported TWO campaigns relating to him. I bought one of the Super Good t-shirts for the campaign he did with Michael Sheen (a true angel!), the SPN/Good Omens x-over to help homeless charities, and I chose the design with text only and not artwork of Michael and Misha on, basically because I didn’t want to be wearing something with Misha’s face on it and I make absolutely no apology for that, whatsoever. I also bought Alex's #TheEndHasNoEnd shirt, which some of the profits went to Random Acts who do great work, so again, despite not liking Misha I still willingly contributed for a cause bigger than me, and to support Alex, who I absolutely ADORE. I'm aware that Stands aren't popular with some of the fandom, however since most of the cast of SPN are happily affiliated with them then I don't feel it's my place to either judge, or to discuss topics I know next to nothing about. But I digress, as a decent human being I have shown support tangentially to a man who I don't care for out of respect for the work he does outside the fandom. Telling you this isn’t to paint myself in a good light - I don’t need your approval, I’m a big girl, unlike some I don’t need constant validation! - only to provide background on how I’ve actively *not* hated on Misha.

Now though, any respect I had for him has come to an abrupt end, the events of the past 24 hours has seen to that. Whilst I have been annoyed at his behaviour in regards to shipping, I don't feel it's ever gone this far, or at least not that I've seen first hand. This man has, IMO, contributed to so much toxicity in the fandom by way of things I've mentioned before, he's claimed - without actually saying the words - that Wincest fans weren't interested in him as a character when he came onto the show, and hasn’t felt included because of the fans’ love of the brothers. Um, hate to break it to you, love, but when you come onto an established show that is about two people, and you’re a *guest star* you can’t expect everyone to love you. Some characters we as individuals do fall in love with straight away (Bobby, Charlie, Crowley and Rowena are good examples for me), it takes time to establish a dynamic, so if that’s how he felt then it was incredibly naive of him as an actor to expect instant acceptance from anyone. Also, why wait until after the show finished to bring it up AGAIN … oh wait, yeah, that would be to step back into the limelight in a way intended to garner sympathy from Minions and INTENTIONALLY piss off bro fans and Wincest shippers alike? How fucking self centred, desperate and disrespectful do you have to be to shit all over the finale of a show that for the most part accepted you and kept you in paid work for 12 years? Well, Misha Collins levels of all of those things, obviously.

So, on the topics of self centred, desperate to stay relevant, attention seeking and being oh so needy, the tweet yesterday from Amazon mentioned Castiel. He wasn’t tagged in it, so I refer to my earlier comment about searching online, because how else would he have possibly seen that? It’s possible someone sent it to him, I appreciate that, but if we go off past behaviour it’s not any stretch at all to believe that didn’t happen. So, once again, having seen the tweet he took it upon himself to - oh so predictably - turn it into something relating to Destiel. When I saw it I immediately rolled my eyes and thought ‘here we go again’, but then also had a little smile because I really liked the fact that he explicitly mentioned Wincest, therefore seeming to accept that his poor old dead horse wasn’t the only one in the race. I actually mentally tipped my hat to him then because it appeared that he’s matured enough to acknowledge by name the ship that predates his inclusion on the show. Great, I thought, this is a positive thing in a sea of negativity surrounding the man and his sunken ship, because what followed was Wincest trending in the US (it may also have been other countries as well but I had to sleep!) … largely due to the fact that Hellers were responding to it, calling him out on mentioning the dreaded ‘W’ word. I’ll repeat that because it’s been a rare occurrence up to that point… the Minions were actually disappointed with their overlord for mentioning another ship. We all know what they think of it and I for one, don’t give a flying fuck about their opionion. Ship and let ship, it’s all fun (or meant to be) so we have different tastes, that’s life kiddiwinks, deal with it. I mean, you really don’t have much of an example set for you when your king has proven several times over to be one of the biggest obnoxious brats out there, but just give it a try for your own sakes, yeah? Awesome, good on you, besties!

An unexpected development - to my joy and that of other Wincest shippers - them doing that got the topic trending, only *kept* trending by the fact that were all coming online asking why it was trending. Wincest shippers barely lifted a finger, we just flooded each other’s timelines with lovely content and basked in the Hellers - and Misha - shooting themselves in the foot, which was awesome. But did the vitriol stop? No. Did he get the attention he so clearly craves? Yes. Was it in the way he wanted? Fuck no, so poor, emotionally wounded baby backtracked after seeing that his name was trending alongside Wincest because that’s *so* not what someone narcissistic to do it in the first place, wanted.

Now here’s where I could easily have just moved on with an unusually fond chuckle, giving him an ironic pat on the back and a ‘thanks, Misha’ for being the one to instigate hours of fun, but once again his despicable behaviour made that impossible. It’s been more than obvious for many years that he cares more about what his fans think than anything else to do with the show and the fandom in a larger sense, but to delete the tweet and APOLOGISE for daring to be so insensitive to the snowflakes’ delicate sensibilities for mentioning Wincest in the first place was absolutely disgusting. Stating , “I used a term that I had never really given any thought to other than, "that's a thing?! Yuck." is not only complete and utter bullshit, it’s pandering of the highest order.

We all know he has referred to Wincest on multiple occasions, so to say he hadn’t thought about is a flat out lie, which IMO is an insult to everyone, not just Wincest shippers. Does the man have no self respect at all, why would you contradict yourself in the face of such overwhelming evidence? Instead of either ignoring all the people calling him out, or addressing it with another tweet saying ‘yeah, that happened’ or something similar he chose, I repeat, CHOSE the route of claiming he didn’t realise he was being offensive to people who felt ‘triggered’ by him using the word Wincest. He basically shat all over an entire ship and large sector of the fandom in an attempt to appease his own fan base which consists of a lot of children (or those that act like children) who have no idea what RL is like.

Once again, he’s reinforced the idea that if you shout loud enough at someone just because you don’t like something they said, they will back down and apologise for something even when there’s nothing to apologise for. If he wants to be such a role model then he could easily have pointed out that a fictional ship doesn’t condone RL incest, any ACTUAL trauma people have suffered because of RL situations, and made an effort to make sure people understand that. He COULD have used it as an opportunity to do some good in the fandom by encouraging people to build bridges, to accept that people are entitled to their beliefs and that sometimes we see things differently but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t treat others with BASIC HUMAN DECENCY because of it. Instead he YET AGAIN chose to show that he cares more about what Minions think of him, keeping them onside to constantly stroke his unbelievably fragile ego in everything he does.

It is my understanding that Misha is big on (or claims to be big on) putting positive energy out into the world, treating people with respect, helping others and accepting people for who they are, not who you want them to be… all this after YEARS of consistently practising what he preaches only when it suits him. He sends out a message that it’s perfectly OK to bully, to spread hate, to draw attention to yourself at the cost of others, to throw colleagues and friends under the bus and at the same time use them to further your own agenda and get hits for your YouTube channel. Is this really the legacy he wants to leave? Is this an environment he wants his own kids to grow up in as well as future generations? Is this what he thinks is a valuable contribution as a human being? JFC, the arrogance, hypocrisy and the need for constant validation this man exhibits is nothing short of cringeworthy… actually it’s beyond that. It’s deplorable behaviour, it’s not new, and he will continue to act like this for as long as he’s being enabled and this harmful cycle needs to end.

I have friends IRL and online who are (now, possibly, were) big Misha fans, who have supported him from either the beginning of his run on the show, or since they started watching, and this is how he repays this behaviour? He’s willfully alienating decent people (including multishippers) all to make himself look good by being seen to do everything he can not to offend people. Spoiler alert, you DID offend people, you continue to do so time and again and we’ve had enough. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to be such a perpetual people pleaser, but let me say it’s not doing you any favours in any way, shape or form.

Misha, you are *not* a role model, you’re *not* someone to look up to when you can't live up to the ideals you preach. You’re spitting in the face of people who have supported you even after some questionable things in the past, who gave you the benefit of the doubt because we’re all human and we all make mistakes. The key to growing as a person is not to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, understanding *why* what you said and/or did was a mistake and making a concerted effort to make changes. I don’t ever see you doing that, you will continue down this path of only caring about Minions under the guise of caring for people in general. You are transparent, you are sad and despite the fact I’ve never particularly liked you, I didn’t speak up because I didn’t want to get involved in the drama. Well now I have spoken up and I’m saying you’re a disgrace, you have no respect for other people and nobody is fooled anymore. If it hadn’t been this tweet it would have been something else, but I for one am glad it happened so soon after the show ended so we can finally be rid of the limpet-like behaviour. It’s over, let it go for the sake of what dignity you might have left, for the sake of your family and friends and for the sake of anyone who isn’t capable of seeing through your ‘it’s a joke’ mentality.

You have been weighed, you have been measured and you have been found wanting. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Misha.

For anyone who made it to the end of my ramble, thank you. This has been a cathartic exercise and I’m drawing a line under it now, I don’t think I could possibly make my thoughts any clearer. I urge you not to get caught up in any petty squabbles with his Minions, let’s celebrate J2 and other cast and crew members who have shown us all respect and who I am proud to call part of the SPN family. There’s always one member of the family who needs to be frozen out for the good of everyone else.

#ficforthought speaks #sorry not sorry #i spent way too long on this #purging the poison

235 notes · View notes

stomp-that-ho-regard · 3 years

Text

Retcon

noun

(in a film, television series, or other fictional work) a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events, typically used to facilitate a dramatic plot shift or account for an inconsistency.

verb

revise (an aspect of a fictional work) retrospectively, typically by introducing a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events.

Retroactive Continuity

Reframing past events to serve a current plot need. [...] In its most basic form, this is any plot point that was not intended from the beginning. [...]

Post-hiatus C2, and the Great Retcon...

(The retconning really started with the playlists, but we’ll come back to those.)

First, some context:

SDCC (July ‘18) - Marisha was asked directly about Beau and Yasha and if she and Ashley had discussed it. “After the first few times that I kinda put the moves on her, we were at break, and I could sense that Ashley was wanting to ask me something. And she was like, ‘Hey, I’m just curious... is Beau- ’ And at that exact moment someone’s like, ‘Yo Ashley! We gotta go! We gotta get on stage!’ And I was like, ‘Bye!’” Then Brian asked, “And you haven’t had a further conversation about it?” Marisha said, “Nope!”

(Seven months into the campaign, and no discussions. Hmm.)

NYCC (Oct. ‘18) - Marisha was asked about who would Beau get flustered over if they ever flirted back, and yes, she said Yasha and laughed, but then said, “It’s like throwing pebbles at a brick wall.” Meaning, she was putting stuff out there and not getting anything back. (And, she really wasn’t. I still remember when a major portion of the fandom, including the diehard shippers [of which I was one at the time], weren’t sure if Ashley was even interested in this. More than that, it wasn’t until the Zuala reveal, that the fandom and the players found out for certain that Yasha was actually into women.)

(To me, Marisha’s answer here also suggests that at this point, there were still no discussions.)

Talks Machina for ep61 (May ‘19) - Marisha was asked ‘What was going through Beau's mind when Yasha revealed her past with Zuala? Has this changed any feelings Beau might have? Or has Beau's character growth allowed her to mature a little more with regards to her feelings about Yasha?’ Which Marisha instantly pegged as a shipping question. And she said, “I’m trying to figure out a way to answer this to not ruin everyone’s internal canon, in their brains. I don’t want people to overestimate Beau’s intentions towards Yasha. But then also, is that on me? Have I been leading everybody on?”

So, you had all of that, all the way up to ep61.

None of this indicates that ‘it’s been happening since ep1′ or that it’s ‘the slowest of slow burns.’ In fact, it shuts that down completely.

Moving forward to the Beau and Fjord convo (ep108)...

Marisha suddenly having Beau say “There was something about Yasha from the moment that I saw her”. She’s retrospectively attempting to give that moment more weight, when (based on the examples above) we know that the over-the-top flirting was just for fun. And truthfully, she really wasn’t flirting with Yasha any differently than she was flirting with any hot female NPC the party crossed paths with.

And now it’s clear that that one line she said is the reason why BY shippers have suddenly clung on to the idea that “It’s been happening since episode one! SLOooOowBuUuuUrn!!!!!” when its clear that it was not planned. (Not before the hiatus-from-hell, anyway.)

Then Marisha having Beau go from describing Jester as “She's fun. She makes me laugh. I like her ridiculous plans. I think she's complicated and layered.” to “It’s easy to lust after her”. I’ll direct you to Talks for ep85. After Marisha had mentioned that it was a bunch of little things that build, and then pinpointed a few of them, Brian tried to make a joke and said “So you’re saying it’s been more a series, than just one moment that you can point to and say ‘It was right here when I went, let’s fuck!’” Marisha specifically countered that with “It’s not even about 'let’s fuck’. It’s nothing sexual in this case.” (Having her backpedal on this so heavily was such a huge gut punch and was the thing that wholly soured everything for me.)

There were so many better, more delicate ways Marisha could’ve had Beau examine/come to grips with her feelings for both women, but all the reduction and saying they were ‘transferable’ was nothing short of insulting.

On that same Talks episode, Marisha also said this: “Going into this campaign all of us were like, ‘No relationships!’ I didn’t want it! I didn’t ask for this!”, while smiling. What this shows me is that she was thinking of a relationship in regards to Beau’s feelings for Jester. As if she was maybe even anticipating this culminating into something? Why even mention relationships at all if this was nothing serious and was always meant to fall by the wayside?

Brian then followed up with, “In my opinion, as a viewer, Beau’s someone who seems to be on the search for innocence. Whether innocence lost or just innocence in general. And to me it makes sense that you would be attracted to someone who exudes genuine and sort of intrinsic innocence.” Marisha replied with “Fairly astute.”

The next question was, ‘Beau has taken a pretty casual, no-strings-attached approach toward sex and relationships so far. How do her feelings for Jester compare to her previous romantic flings?’ Marisha answered immediately and very seriously with, “Noncomparable. It’s more than that.” She wasn’t playing coy and it didn’t take her a century to find the words. She didn’t even have to think about it. Succinct and direct.

How did all of that ‘organically’ disappear completely, after only 14 episodes?

(Everything felt more genuine back then, because it seemed like Marisha was going where the character was taking her, and not where she thought the character should be going.)

Post-hiatus, everyone and their mother are acting like BY is some epic romance-of-the-ages that was all mapped out, and like Beau having feelings for Jester was just some sort of temporary curveball. That Beau was confused, or was just missing Yasha and projected onto Jester.

That’s really fucked up no matter how you try to justify it. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen another piece of media backpedal this hard, and this callously.

None of that squares with what we were shown or with what we were told. Until, everybody made a hard pivot and now they've done (and continue to) do everything they can to rewrite campaign history, even though we have plenty of footage that contradicts the new ‘company line’.

Now, where the retconning truly began, with the playlists...

Remember the first round of playlists? Those were released randomly, whenever the cast felt like posting them. I also don’t remember there being announcements every time one came out either.

This time though, they had a fixed schedule, complete with official twitter announcements. As they started to just get back into the swing of things, Yasha’s playlist was released right after the first episode back.

So, right out of the gate, they had to make sure they started to drill home a certain mindset for viewers. That’s why Yasha had a song called ‘Let Me Hold You’. (Lo and behold, a few episodes in, Beau randomly asks Yasha to hold her.) A few weeks later, Beau’s playlist was released, and there was a song with the caption saying ‘Ultimately, all she really wants is someone to hold, and someone to hold her’. (But sure, no planning here! The wording is just a total coincidence, folks!)

The other song, directly about Yasha, mentions ‘a crush forged in battle’ (ok), and ‘awkward flirtations’ (???). Yasha never openly flirted with Beau before the hiatus, until maybe right after the Obann arc, in a very vague way.

On Beau’s playlist, there’s nothing about Jester. The one track that mentions her is actually about Artagan. Which, after all they’ve been through together, is fucking ridiculous no matter how you slice it.

In addition to that, Marisha had made Beau’s time in Kamordah (ep92/e93), and the incidents with her family and the Hag, about the group now, not about Jester, fully contradicting her own reiterated words that ‘Jester saved Beau’.

When Beau was talking to her dad, reverting back to her old self and getting all riled up, Jester helped her in that moment, and saved her. Yes, the group was very supportive, and yes, Yasha said something to him before they left the house (that Beau was out of earshot for by the way), but Jester was Beau’s rock throughout that whole thing.

With the Hag, when the group was having a hard time coming up with a solution, and they realized they might actually lose Beau, Jester stepped up and took control of the situation. She, single-handedly, saved Beau/the group from the Hag. And with that, Jester also became Beau’s hero.

In both instances, Marisha thanked Laura/Jester. First on Talks for ep92 with both of them on it. She reiterated, “You saved me. You saved Beau.” Then on Twitter after ep93 with, “Still processing last night. Saved by a cupcake? Eh - saved by @LauraBaileyVO ... again.”

But now suddenly, it’s the group. Just the group?

Now, don’t get me wrong. The entire party showing Beau support was incredibly important. The M9 showed her that they value her, that she’s important to them. It solidified the theme of ‘found family’, which was beautiful. But, to not also highlight how crucial Jester was in all of this, after making such a big deal about it?

That is very deliberate retconning of some hugely important, highly emotional moments for Beau that directly involved Jester.

Any of Beau’s organic and genuine connection with Jester (which encompasses their deep friendship as well as Beau’s romantic feelings) has been massively reduced (and now erased), specifically to prop up a supposed ‘deep’ connection with someone else that was barely ever there, is still barely there, and has no actual depth at all.

Case in point, the BY date (ep126) showcased this fact to the most extreme degree...

Yasha’s infamous line: “I fell in love with you in Kamordah.” So, Yasha literally watched Beau relive her childhood trauma, and caught feelings during it. I’m not wrong in thinking that that’s just a little disturbing, am I? Also, if that’s the moment she supposedly fell for her, why did she not offer her any form of help? I mean, besides that one sweet moment with TJ, the entire time Beau was in Kamordah, she was the most broken down she’d ever been and needed some real comfort, which is something Yasha did not give her. (Jester did though. In spades.)

So, on multiple levels, this seems highly out-of-place.

Several people have said that that line was not thought through. In my opinion, it actually was thought through and was only said specifically to have viewers completely dismiss everything else that happened in the Kamordah episodes. Despite the FACT that Beau and Yasha barely interacted during those episodes, they have now stripped down the party’s experience there, and twisted it into a giant BY shipping moment. (Further feeding into the retcon.)

Their ‘trip down memory lane’ was laughable. Most of the things that were mentioned, Yasha wasn’t even around for.

Gee, remember when the cast was actually good at separating what they knew from what their character knew? When you start injecting what you know into your character (who isn’t supposed to know, because they literally were not physically there), you are metagaming.

The entire date was one big metagaming bonanza. And it had to be, or else they would’ve had nothing to talk about. There is not one thing they have to call their own. To people who don’t have BY tunnel vision, it was made glaringly obvious that they have nothing in common and their dynamic is fairly shallow. Meanwhile, the rest of the cast are sitting there watching this unfold, smiling and nodding along as if it all makes perfect sense and isn’t utterly ridiculous. (And I’m sitting here wondering when I got shunted into the Twilight Zone.)

The shallowness holds true for FJ as well. Aside from both of them being from the Menagerie Coast, what exactly do they have in common?

While Fjord has grown as a character, as far as Jester goes, he still does not seem to have the capacity to fully understand her as a person, or fully respect her abilities/emotional strength/intelligence. He doubted her often, which led to Jester getting irritated with him several times over the course of at least the last third of the pre-hiatus episodes. He even continued to doubt her judgment (in regards to the Traveler) in the post-hiatus Rumblecusp episodes. But hey, they’ve kissed now (ep118) so all of that gets wiped clean, and he’s being touted as her ultimate romantic soulmate who’s oh-so-perfect for her.

For fuck’s sake, why does that sound like something pulled right out of a CW show?

(I'm convinced that the only reason FJ is ‘popular’ is because the shippers have projected Travis and Laura’s real-life marriage onto the characters. If Fjord and Jester were played by different people, or Travis and Laura were not together, people would realize how paper-thin and half-assed this pairing is and hardly anyone would care about it.)

Beau and Jester had developed the deepest, most genuine friendship and overall dynamic in the entire party, that should have absolutely been given the chance to be explored further. They constructed a pretty solid foundation that could have easily been built upon, and the fact that it’s been unceremoniously pulverized and snuffed out in favor of such overwhelming tepidity and flavorlessness will never not infuriate me.

Finally, to finish this off, I will say with my whole chest, that that is one of many nasty, rotten patterns that I’ve seen far too much of in all kinds of scripted media, which is...

Not wanting to commit to the thing that’s actually growing organically, because it’ll ruffle too many feathers. It’s too inconvenient. It gets in the way. Because of course, nobody wants to do that. Nobody wants to take a risk, or you know, actually follow where the natural fucking chemistry is taking you. Of course not! Heaven forbid, we go down a different road! You have to go with what’s ‘expected’, no matter what, at the great expense of something new that’s come along that’s clearly better. Even when what’s expected is hollow as fuck and doesn’t make sense anymore, because characters have grown and dynamics have changed, they decide to dig their heels in with the most fanservice-y options instead.

Yet this is UNSCRIPTED media. A D&D campaign, that’s supposed to be mostly improvised. D&D, that’s all about taking chances/going with your gut/making bold choices/etc., from people who have claimed up and down that they “like to see things play out at the table”.

So why are those same disingenuous patterns being utilized here too?

One of the big reasons I got into CR was because I naively believed that because the format was different, that the storytelling would be different. I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about running into this nonsense here. That I wouldn’t have to worry about getting bullshitted, jerked around, and having my intelligence insulted left and right, but alas, here we are.

In conclusion... [TL;DR, kinda?]

Reframing past events (between B & J, and B & Y) to serve a current plot need (railroading BY):

Beau playlist ignores Jester’s importance to what transpired in Kamordah. (minimizing/erasure)

Beau playlist doesn’t acknowledge/hint at Beau’s feelings for Jester. (total erasure. could have at least included a song about feelings being lost, or being confused about feelings for a friend, but Marisha took the cowardly route, and didn’t bother mentioning it at all.)

Beau playlist claims that Beau and Yasha have both been flirting forever. (easily debunked by session footage.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “There was something about Yasha from the moment I saw her”. (it was just about hooking up then, and stayed that way for a majority of the campaign. This line suggests that Beau has had ‘deeper feelings’ for and/or has been ‘in love’ with Yasha since the first episode, that this was all intentional build-up, which again, is easily debunked by session footage, panels, and TM.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “It’s easy to lust after her.” (minimizing/erasure/twisting of Beau’s feelings for Jester, which Marisha had previously stated were ‘noncomparable’ , ‘more than that’, and that her attraction is ‘nothing sexual in this case.’)

This isn’t a fucking conspiracy theory. This is plain evidence of a planned retcon.

#op #super long post #uber rant #happy thursday! ;)#beaujester #i wrote this up back in december but didn't have the energy to finish it until now #it got longer as i went #guess i still have a lot of bitching left in me lol #that's what happens when you feel like you've been getting kicked in the teeth for nine months

102 notes · View notes

petersthree · 3 years

Text

Okay so I’ve seen a lot of conflicting responses to Buddie this episode, from it being clear to people that they’re getting together, to thinking the writers have unintentionally messed things up to thinking it’s purely queerbait.

And I get the different responses, I do - tbh I’m somehow in two camps, where I simultaneously believe it’s a slowburn but I also think it’s bait. And those are two very different opinions to have and it got me thinking about why we have these different responses as fans to the possibility of a queer ship (namely two men who would presumably be bi/pan) being canon.

While people talk about how it’s just people wanting two characters to kiss or entitled fans - sure, that’s existent in every fandom, but I think there’s also a very real fear from queer fans who don’t want to get their hopes up and I d on’t love how the conversation has shifted to calling queer fans stupid for having hope, so I kind of wanted to break it down into 3 aspects that I’ve noticed:

How writers portray bi characters and why that makes fans hesitant to have hope

What queerbait actually means as a concept

How much “slowburn” has changed in procedurals

1. How writers portray bi characters

Something I’ve thought about a lot are the bi characters I’ve seen on TV - Darryl (CEG), Sara Lance (Arrow), Lucifer (Lucifer), just to name a few. These are great characters imo and I think you’d have a fun time watching but a thing to note is that all these characters were established as bi within the first season of their respective shows and they all fairly quickly fell into a clear romantic ship as well (with the exception of Sara as she spanned multiple shows). It may have taken time for them to say the word bisexual, but it was still clear these characters were queer fairly quickly on. You could maybe argue that Lucifer was a slowburn, but then (while it does not take away from him being bi/pan so do not use this as an excuse to be shitty about him) it’s a m/f ship which is still not the point of my post, to find a m/m or f/f ship that has that same treatment.

Some writers have done it - like for Valencia in CEG, or Petra in JTV - when they saw that fans read them this way, but trying to find those characters were few and far between, and when I looked at popular queerbait ships (whether or not they actually are queerbait) it’s usually ships where the characters are largely viewed as bisexual. A lot of times this also comes with pushback from both straight and to be frank, other queer fans as well. Straight fans don’t always see the signs that queer fans do, so to them a queer character who hasn’t been explicitly clear from the start comes out of nowhere. And what I’ve seen from certain queer fans are concerns that people aren’t appreciating the canon queer characters in a show - and I think there is a conversation to be had about that, but I don’t think the response should also be about then demanding less representation for people either.

If we go back to 911, people talk a lot about how it has canon queer characters, which it definitely does - Michael, Hen, Josh, Karen, and David are all canonically gay/lesbian and that’s awesome, and we absolutely should talk about fans (white fans in particular) ignoring these characters. It also does not change the fact that none of these characters are bisexual and that is the representation people are looking for. Both of these things are true - these characters are often under appreciated in canon AND people deserve bisexual representation. They don’t contradict each other and to act like one negates the other does a huge disservice.

And even if a character was made bisexual in the canon text we don’t get that slowburn. This may be true for things like Leverage, or LOK, but there’s also a real fact of censorship that affected these shows and the fact that general audiences may not understand the queer text tjat the writers intended. It doesn’t make the writing any less wonderful or the ships any less poignant or beautiful or important, and there’s ofc shows like She Ra that made this more obvious (or the.....mess that was Supernatural that made it. Half true?) but these are still real things that should be acknowledged on why people are so hesitant to call it slowburn - because it’s something most queer fans haven’t SEEN DONE, because m/f ships will get that care for slowburn when it’s done but it’s not done for m/m or f/f ships in that same capacity.

2. What queerbait is

This one’s fun because I don’t think many people understand what it is, but queerbait is very dependent on the intentions of the writers/creators/etc. - which tbh can be hard to gauge, because a genuine intention that ended up not happening or someone baiting fans or someone trying to support all ships and not be rude all have very different intentions but to a fan who only sees bits and pieces of this person on social media, it can be hard to gauge.

Honestly with how much the 4th wall gets broken because of social media now I’d personally say we’ve probably moved into a different definition of queerbait - unintentional vs intentional - because we’re at a point where a show knows what ships are popular and at what level of excitement fans are for it - but that being said, there’s still a clear spectrum of intent. And imo? I don’t think 911 has that intent of queerbait - whether it’s a slowburn or they have a different vision for buddie that I (probably) won’t agree with remains to be seen, but this show usually treats its storylines with care. Are they perfect at it? No, definitely not, I definitely think that they’ve dropped the ball a few times (especially with just how many characters they have lmao), but they also clearly do their storylines with earnest and with genuine care for these characters.

Is 911 getting them together? I want to say yes. I don’t think this was always the plan, just something that they decided along the way, but I also don’t think that changes anything about the ship. A lot of people point to Tim Minear being vague about the ship, or the actors and their interpretations, but 1. We have no idea what they’ve been told about Buddie moving forward and 2. No show runner is going to spoil their show that much. 911 may be keeping quiet because they have a different plan for buddie, sure, but also maybe because they’re still figuring out how exactly they want to do this and/or they want to make this slowburn and don’t want to give it away.

3. Slowburn in procedurals

I feel like this is something that procedurals have started shying away from, but slowburns used to be very common - Bones, Castle, their ships didn’t get together for literal years, but that’s just not something that many shows do nowadays, even for m/f ships. Even things like Deckerstar will have the characters get together after ~3 seasons and explore the relationship onwards, whereas a few years ago, y ou’d pr obably be watching a sh ow and it’d take them 7 seasons to get together. My assumption for this is that shows are afraid of getting canceled, but there’s been a pretty big shift in getting a couple together after say, 6 seasons to now getting them together about halfway through the show. I don’t think either one is bad or good - in good writers’ hands, either can be amazing - but that shift has made it so that a lot of younger fans in particular, I think, don’t fully recognize slowburn when they see it.

911 as a show tends to run pretty fast - it kind of has to with its depth of characters they have - but when they do have slower running storylines they really do make use of that as well. Bobby’s addiction is something that’s always going to be present in his character, May’s suicide attempt was brought up again front and center after 3 seasons, even Chim’s dynamic with the Lees was brought up again and it was reinforced again that they’re his family. There are certain storylines that have to be continuous and aren’t a one and done type of thing, and that includes Buck and Eddie, especially if you want to establish them as queer to a general audience who doesn’t think about these things.

And honestly, despite my fears, I think they are laying groundwork there. We have Buck learning to be more confident in his relationships, we have Eddie ready to date and learning to follow his own heart, we have Buck and Eddie both establishing that Buck is family and will always be there for Christopher. These are pretty big steps to do for a ship and we’ll obviously have to see how the show goes forward but they’ve already insinuated Eddie and Ana are breaking up, I’m sure Taylor and Buck may last a season and be over, but we do have to see what this next season brings. Do I think they’d say this? No, definitely not.

tl;dr:

911 is a show with good viewership, but there’s always a possibility they can’t continue with their season and then their promises would feel like a lie. Or they may still be hammering out the details as this season hasn’t been written. Or they may just simply not want to spoil their show, or they don’t want people criticizing a story before it’s finished, all of these could be reasons. The showrunners, writers, actors, ultimately they owe nothing to us as a fandom to potentially spoil their series, or do something, change it or their schedule for it, and get accused of bait.

But it also doesn’t change why fans are wary of this storyline either, and I wish people would have more nuance and compassion for fans who are worried about queerbait (whether they think it’s not queerbait and dislike people worrying about it or if they do and are calling people idiots for believing it). There’s a lot of reasons why fans are wary and don’t want to have hope, and it’s not necessarily about 911 specifically as it is a pattern of writing seen in other pieces that have fans worried. These things can all coexist and I wish we as fandom in general could acknowledge that, because pretending that they don’t and criticizing each other/people’s intentions or knowledge when they have certain expectations also doesn’t do much to help.

#warning this is long so if you read this bless you #but also i wrote this forever so maybe give a read?#it gets into buddie more specifically at the end so bear with me lmao #buddie #911 fox #fandom #queerbait #janie overthinks media #buddie meta #911 on fox

61 notes · View notes

threewaysdivided · 3 years

Note

How do you feel about Pink Astronaut. Personally I feel like Paulina deserved a little better than the writers gave her.

I'm 99% sure that's the ship name for Danny x Paulina, right?

(Which probably says a lot about my engagement with the shipping side of the Phandom 😅.)

TBH I don't have any strong thoughts or feelings about it either way.

In all cases I'm a very gen-focussed fan - my interests tend run more in the direction of character psychology, non-romantic platonic/ familial relationships, lore, mystery and theme. It's a personal thing but I just don't read romantic/sexual intent/attraction into character interactions unless they're explicitly framed/intended as such and the way much of the shipping community seems to do so goes completely over my head.

Which isn't to say that I avoid all ship-fics, or that there aren't a number of noncanon ships that I enjoy across different fandoms, but for the most part I favour genfic and when I do read shipfic they tend to be the stories that focus on personality, emotional chemistry and personal/emotional compatibility. And when it comes to thinking about "ships" myself I tend to lean more towards times when characters have canonically expressed that kind of interest, the reasons why they would be compatible/ find each other attractive, how they feel about it and what it says about them.

But back to Paulina:

I think you're right - as a character she (along with basically every human character outside of the main trio, the Fenton family and sometimes Valerie) suffers massively from underdevelopment because of the show's nature as for the most part an episodic kid's superhero-comedy with an ooky-spooky gimmick. Danny Phantom the show is a place where The Status Quo is God and the Rule of Funny/Cool/Drama supersedes everything, up to and including the characters and their consistency.

(You can even see this and the obviously conflicting visions of different parts of the creative team effect the main characters too. Danny suddenly carrying the Jerk Ball in service of a generic "don't be superficial/ materialism is bad" story in Livin' Large, how Tucker is basically learning the same lesson twice across What You Want and King Tuck, the multiple times where Sam's more abrasive negative traits are used as a source of plot/conflict but are never meaningfully addressed or developed because the writers want to keep using those traits for drama and eventually to use her character as the Morally Righteous Generic Love Interest Behind Danny's Heroism... et cetera et certera et cetera.)

Literally every character in DP is done a disservice by the show's writing and Paulina runs into the same problem. She's chained to the post of a very specific narrative function/ character archetype and never intentionally developed beyond what's needed to serve the Plot/ the Joke.

She's clearly written to be the Rich Plastic Mean Girl à la Regina George, and while there is a potentially very interesting character beneath that surface appearance - which we can see in places like Parental Bonding where she shows emotional intelligence by immediately clocking that Sam is actually jealous of Danny's attraction to her, and in her "if my skin is perfect, I'll be perfect" line from My Sister's Keeper which hints at some potentially significant appearance-based self-worth issues - the show itself basically only ever uses her "Pretty Girl" and "Popular A-Lister" status as a source of surface-level character drama for the trio and as a rare plot-convenient situational ally in dire circumstances. Her actions show a consistent characterisation but it's so rudimentary that it barely clears that archetype to become its own thing.

I think if Danny Phantom had taken more structural and tonal influence from Spiderman (or even something like Disney's Kim Possible) rather than Fairly Odd Parents - still keeping things mostly light-hearted but with some extra focus on character consistency and layering some ongoing character arcs over each season - there could have been a lot of potential to develop and flesh out Paulina as a narrative foil/ ongoing rival to Sam and her own character arc. It also could have added some more meaningful non-stereotypical female character dynamics, which are disappointingly but perhaps not surprisingly lacking from a "for boys" Nicktoon headed by a man who named himself "Butch". But as it is she unfortunately falls into that No Man's Land for me, where she isn't developed enough to have much deeper canon worth investigating and isn't really thematically/narratively significant enough that I'd want to develop her myself for story purposes.

As for the Pink Astronaut ship itself, all I can say is that, at least for me, canonically it... isn't really one. At least in terms of what I personally characterise as a 'relationship'. It's stuck at a very shallow level; Danny has a superficial surface-level infatuation with Paulina because she's pretty and popular, and Paulina looks down on "geeky dork loser" Danny Fenton while having a superficial surface-level infatuation with Danny Phantom as "the cute ghost-boy who rescued her". There's no real sense of actual personal chemistry based on them knowing, appreciating or even seemingly caring to know who the other is as a character. None of their "romantic" hijinks really involve them learning anything meaningful about each other or even having a proper conversation. Paulina "dates" Fenton purely to piss off Sam, then "Paulina" shows personal interest in Danny but it turns out to actually be Kitten trying to piss off Johnny, and when she does show interest in him after the reveal in Reality Trip it's kind of obvious that it's because she's interested in dating Phantom and his secret identity wouldn't have mattered either way. And meanwhile Danny spends most of his time either too busy with ghost stuff to properly pay attention to her as a person, or he never really shows any interest or understanding beyond his fantasies about how she's very conventionally pretty (which he finds attractive/desirable) and popular (which he wants to be).

So while there's a lot of potential for people to write that ship in terms of them being two very different characters from different backgrounds who come to learn about each other as people, come to appreciate each other on a personality level and develop an actual romantic/emotional connection based on that... within the show itself that surface level is sort of where it starts and ends.

And like I said, I'm not a shipper. Even with the bigger, more canonically-substantiated ships I look for the personalities moreso than the romance.

So I don't really have any strong thoughts or feelings about it either way.

Sorry if that's not a satisfying answer.

But I do agree: like most DP characters, Paulina Sanchez has a lot more character potential than the writing allowed her.

#that was an awful lot of words for an #It's fine #I don't mind it either way #I'm just not really into shipping #I'd rather focus on exploring canon characterisations and personal dynamics over romance #Pink Astronaut #Danny Phantom #Paulina Sanchez #youmaycallmeyourhigness #3WD Answers

33 notes · View notes

theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 3 years

Note

Why do you think Tomarry would work? I see a lot of people hating on it and the only response I ever see is that they come from similar backgrounds or people just like enemies to lovers. Also which horcrux do you think Harry would go best with (including Voldemort)

So, this is probably a more complicated question than you intended, but that’s because I live in bizarre head canon lands that few ever dare venture towards.

With that, let’s get started.

But What Do You Really Ship, Muffin?

First, it probably bears saying that I’m not really a Tomarry shipper. I know, I’ve written more than one Tomarry story, so if that’s not Tomarry what is? Well, remember that those Tomarry pairing tags are a filthy lie. October I committed the grievous sin of breaking up the Tomarry and throwing Tom at Harry’s mother. Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus is barely a Harry Potter fic in any capacity, and while the ship is the driving force of the fic, it’s also this nebulous, distant, thing that really shows up only in strange side stories where I try to make people laugh. When Harry Met Tom is probably the closest that I take seriously, but I also intentionally subvert all your typical Tomarry tropes for my own enjoyment.

The only Tomarry story I’d say I’ve ever actually written is “The Burning Taste of Fire Whisky”. It’s a very popular story, sadly perhaps my most popular on Ao3, but I actually loathe it entirely.

A lot of the time I feel like I just happen to have a Tomarry shirt on and then I suddenly became a subject matter expert. If you want the Tomarry opinions from real Tomarry people, I’m probably not the best person to ask. In fact, if you want really any standard answer about Harry Potter anything, I’m not the best person to ask.

Now, I’m not just saying this to be a hipster but to sort of give some background for why I’m going to give the answer I’m going to give and why it’s going to be 100% different from everyone else’s and yes, sometimes, I do think I came from Mars.

Will the Real Tomarry Please Stand Up?

So with that, the bottom line is: taking canon as JKR intended, completely at face value, Tomarry doesn’t work at all. This is because JKR fully intends a very flat, one-dimensional, and frankly quite boring Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle’s evil, Tom Riddle was born evil, Tom Riddle was evil in the womb because of rape. He is completely and utterly irredeemable and understands nothing of love.

Well, that sort of sinks the ship right out of the harbor, doesn’t it? A Tom Riddle incapable of love is one incapable of growth, especially in a romantic focused story. If you try to write it you just get weird sociopathic whump porn where Tom probably whips Harry in a closet somewhere.

Added onto this we get that, despite what she put down on paper, Harry is supposed to be a straight man. That aside, he’s also a righteous man whose understanding of things like love and friendship mean he’d never sully himself with gross Tom Riddle. Ew, what are you people thinking?

Well, what if we take canon just mostly as JKR intended? What if we just look at the characters the way she actually wrote them versus what she was trying to do? Still no dice.

Tom might now be capable of love, be a far more engaging character who can go somewhere, and be pulled out of a pit of rage and despair by someone but that someone ain’t Harry.

First, while I firmly believe Harry is gay (gay, not bisexual, compare his descriptions of Cho/Ginny to Tom Riddle/Sirius Balck/Cedric Diggory/Charlie Weasley, that boy pants after Tom Riddle and Cho’s kiss is “wet”) he’s also a much worse person and much dumber character than JKR intended. It’s really the first that damns the pairing.

I have a whole giant post on how Harry’s a little yikes but the long and short of it is that while Harry thinks he understands friendship and love he’s also someone who will cut out his friends at a moment’s notice if he feels remotely slighted, uses and sacrifices them for his own ends, gleefully uses unforgiveable curses when given the opportunity, and is the kind of guy who would cut someone up in the bathroom, leave them to bleed to death, and only really feel bad about it when it seems he might get in trouble for it.

This Harry ending up even with a Tom who could potentially be redeemed would more likely lead to, well, weird psychopathic whump porn where Harry tortures Tom in his basement to make him pay for all the horrible things he’s done while Harry claims he’s the most moral person ever because his mother loved him.

So, yeah, no Tomarry for you.

But Wait, Didn’t You Say You Believed in Tomarry?

What I believe in are archetypes.

Remove what Harry’s supposed to be, remove what I think he actually is (one maladjusted, violent, dude with a whole lot of anger issues), let’s make Harry what perhaps JKR didn’t even know she wanted: one of those rare fundamentally good heroes who warps an entire story with the strength of their inner nobility.

Harry Potter is meant to be a story about love and friendship. Now, it’s not actually, and we sort of end with Harry being Jesus and none of us are sure why. Except that he apparently forgives Dumbledore and Snape for brainwashing him to be a kamikaze agent. They’re the bravest men he knows. But let’s pretend it actually is a story about love and friendship.

To me, the strongest story of love we could possibly have had in this world is the redemption of Tom Riddle. Here is a man who was supposed to have been irredeemable since birth, he has done many horrific and unforgiveable things, grew up in extreme hardship in a society that spits on everything he ever was, and is mired in bitterness, despair, and rage. Beneath all that, Tom Riddle has given up hope in the world and is now content to burn it down himself.

Harry, through the nobility of his spirit and integrity of his character, somehow managing to redeem Tom Riddle is not only a fascinating story but a very good one at its core. The fact that they are tied together by destiny as well as tragedy, that Harry houses a shard of Tom’s soul (and I do so love horcruxes), only makes it more so.

This is the kind of story that carries epics, and that is why I gravitate towards it.

Now, do I change Harry up to do so? Good god, yes. I wouldn’t say any Harry Potter I have written is anything close to the Harry we know from canon. Some are closer than others, but they always in some way deviate. That said, from what I’ve seen almost nobody writes the actual Harry we remember from canon, so this is a very standard practice I can get away with, without too many people calling foul.

Ultimately ending in tragedy or in the full redemption of Tom: either works with these base characterizations and the world is your oyster.

What About All Those Other Arguments?

I’m not going to get into this too much except that I wouldn’t argue Tomarry works for the reasons you list. At all.

On the similar backgrounds, the fact is Harry and Tom don’t have similar backgrounds, JKR just says they do because she likes that trope (and so do many of the readers).

Harry and Tom have dark hair, they both came from abusive homes, but that’s where the similarities start and end. Upon entering the wizarding world Harry is treated very very very differently from Tom Riddle.

Harry, grows up in this weird sort of pseudo poverty where he dresses in rags because the Dursley’s hate him but he never actually has to worry about money. When he gets to the wizarding world he can afford everything he wants. He can buy a new wand, he can buy new supplies, he can buy all the candy off the trolly cart. Money’s not an object to Harry, is barely even a concept.

Tom Riddle is presumably on scholarship and money is everything to him. He buys a new wand but likely all his clothes and books are second hand. He can’t buy whatever candy he wants, probably can’t afford gifts for his peers, Tom is very aware of the haves and have nots.

Harry similarly never has to worry about a career. He never gets that far, fearing for his life so much, but the fact is that Harry has enough money that he doesn’t actually need to work. More, who would turn down the great Harry Potter? He wants to be an auror, is afraid he might not qualify, but it’s not really desperate.

Tom Riddle is to the world an impoverished muggle born. He tries for the Defense position and is turned down mostly because Dumbledore threw shade. Dumbledore tries to make it seem like Tom desperately wanted to work in this weird shop in London’s magical back alley, but probably that was the only position Tom could get (everything Dumbledore ever says, especially in those pensieve lessons, must be taken with a large grain of salt). Everything else goes to friends, family, and purebloods.

Adding to this, Harry has this glowing reputation. Now, Harry might not like it, he might want to be just Harry but the fact is that everyone has heard of him and most people worship the ground he walks on. Doors are open to him everywhere. His first introduction to the wizarding world is from a man who loves him and gushes about Harry as a baby.

Tom Riddle is someone with a muggle last name, who comes from a muggle orphanage, in other words he is nobody from nowhere. (For reasons I won’t get into here I find it very doubtful Tom ever revealed he was the heir of Slytherin until he became Voldemort and let Tom Riddle fade into obscurity). His first introduction to the wizarding world is some asshole lighting all his stuff on fire because the matron talked shit about him.

Harry wants to stay at Hogwarts because the Dursleys are abusive. Yes, this is terrible, but Tom wants to stay because Nazis are bombing London and Dippet says, “So sorry, Tom, no exceptions. Enjoy those luffas!” Harry’s concerns are never treated with the same disdain.

To make a long story short, they do not have similar backgrounds, at all. To say they do is utterly laughable and not much better than saying “they both have dark hair, they have so much in common!”

They both came from abusive homes, yes, but even the nature of those homes were very different and when they went to Hogwarts they were worlds apart.

... So much for not getting into it, eh?

As for Enemies to Lovers, well, it’s a trope and people enjoy it but it’s not my jam. I could go into why, but I think I’ve said enough.

Which Horcrux Do You Think Harry Would Go Best With?

We see so little of the individual horcruxes I’m not sure I can really take a stab at this. I sort of just make up their personalities as it suits me every time I write them.

With that I suppose I’m partial to the one in Harry’s head? Given that he has a front row seat to Harry, has seen Voldemort’s tragic demise, I think he’s in the best position to end up with Harry in a meaningful manner.

Especially as, if you think about it, he could represent the very last of Tom Riddle’s humanity. The single shard of humanity that remained in him until the bitter end.

#ask #anon #tom riddle #harry potter #headcanons #tomarry #archetypes #redemption #enemies to lovers

144 notes · View notes

makeste · 4 years

Note

I was originally going to send this message declaring my undying love for your metas and chapter reviews aND THEN - AND THEN MAKESTE - I READ THE ANSWER WHERE YOU SAID YOU WERE ARO AND THAT MAKES ME SOOOOO HAPPY. I'm aroace and it is SO FRUSTRATING to want to consume platonic or familial interaction between people and CONSTANTLY only get romantic or sexual. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOU CONTRIBUTE

woooo up top! solidarity lol.

for me it’s like... I don’t know if “frustrating” is the word I would use, but I do wish there was more gen out there. and that’s also something I’ve felt awkward about wanting in the past, because my early fandom years took place in a time where slash was much less of an everyday commonplace thing than it is now, and liking it was still a fairly controversial thing. the internet was a much more openly homophobic place than it is now. like, picture the purity police of modern day tumblr, but if they attacked any kind of non-heterosexual relationship as being sick and perverted and wrong. that was pretty much the general vibe. this was before AO3, and people who wrote slash often didn’t post it on ff.net and only posted it to their own private blogs and/or locked and moderated communities instead just so they wouldn’t be harassed. and there was absolutely no canon representation out there at all, or next to none. it was very much a “[rolls eyes] oh the yaoi fangirls are at it again” sort of thing where non-cishet relationships in fiction and fanfiction were at best not taken seriously at all, and at worst were treated with outright scorn and disgust.

and so like, with this being a common attitude at the time, I felt guilty for not always wanting to read slash myself. like, I don’t mind reading about romantic relationships at all, but for me there also has to be some other kind of element in play as well, or else it’s just not going to click for me. if a fic is just romance, just a lot of pining and slow burn stuff without anything else really going on in the plot, I just get bored and disinterested. I almost want to use the word tired, even though I’m not sure that makes much sense. I just can’t connect to the emotions, and so I disengage pretty quickly. and so I tend to steer clear of time-honored fandom staples like coffee shop AUs or And They Were Roommates, just because for me there’s rarely anything there for me to latch onto. I like angst, but I can’t relate to “so and so doesn’t feel the same way about me”, or “I want to be with them so bad but I don’t know how to confess”, or “they’re with someone else and it hurts like crazy every time I see them and know we can’t be together”, because none of those are emotions that I have ever personally felt, and I just can’t make myself feel them. what I can relate to are things like “this person makes me feel safe”, or “I feel a strong connection to this person”, or “I trust this person more than anyone else” because those feelings aren’t exclusively romantic in nature. I can relate to closeness and caring and love and affection and trust, but what I can’t relate to is the feeling of having a single person occupy all of your thoughts all the time, and very badly wanting to be the most important thing in their life as well, and feeling incomplete otherwise.

but anyway I spiraled away from the point I was trying to get to, which is that for a long time I actually felt guilty about feeling this way. because even though it’s rare to find fanworks where gen/platonic relationships are at the center, actual canon is chock full of said relationships. and so it’s like, what right do I even have to complain when I get to read all the time about so and so being friends, but the people who actually want them to be in a relationship in the actual canon so rarely get to see that actually happen. because that much has not changed in the past 20 years, even though society has become far more accepting of LGBTQ+ relationships. most canons are still far more likely to tease a non-hetero ship -- on purpose, even, hence why queerbaiting is a thing -- than actually commit to it. and so I often feel like I have no right to voice my desire for more genfic, because genfic has never faced the same kind of scrutiny as slashfic. gen has always been acceptable, and there is plenty of canon representation of platonic and non-romantic relationships, and so it’s not something I have any business whining about.

and even now I feel fairly uncomfortable voicing this lol. I write almost exclusively genfic myself, and up until very recently, I’ve always defined gen in my head as being just a lack of romantic or sexual content, rather than being its own distinct category. I think that’s one of the reasons it took me so long to realize I was aro (that, and I’d honestly never even come across the term until just a few years ago). for me, my lack of interest in romantic affection always felt more like a lack of identity rather than an identity in and of itself. I always felt like I was missing something. and for a very long time it never occurred to me that this might be a permanent thing; I just figured, okay, I just haven’t had this feeling yet. it just hasn’t happened for me yet. but eventually it would, and I just hadn’t met the right person, or whatever. but it was never anything I particularly wanted, and I never felt like I was missing out on anything by not having it. I never felt any kind of longing for it or felt incomplete without it. I was actually perfectly content!

but because society treats romantic orientation as the norm and places such a huge emphasis on it, I still had the uncomfortable feeling in the back of my head that if I never fell in love with someone and never wound up having a relationship with someone, my life would somehow be less meaningful and whole. like, we’re raised to think that romantic love is basically the pinnacle of the human experience, the purest and truest emotion that anyone can feel. and at the same time, there’s this idea that a life without that kind of love is just sad and unfulfilling and tragic. and so for a very long time my experience with my own aromanticism was characterized by me thinking of it as a lack of something that everyone else said was very important. and it took a long time to realize that that wasn’t the case, and that it was a valid orientation all its own and not just a matter of me being deficient in some way. and that was actually such a relief to finally come to terms with. I can be whole and complete on my own and still have a rich and fulfilling human experience even if I never experience romantic love, and that’s fine. I’m not missing anything. I’m not wrong for feeling like I’m not missing anything. it’s fine to be content with just me as I am. like, holy shit. and that was such a weight off my shoulders to finally get that.

I once wrote a fic which I was and still am very proud of. it was a genfic, and it had a really intricate plot with a big twist at the very end. and there was a ton of emotion in it, and it got very intense at times, because these were two characters who cared a lot about each other and would literally die for each other if they had to, and I’d put them in a situation where that possibility was very much looming over their heads at every turn. and I really put everything I had into trying to convey that kind of bond as strongly as possible. like I poured a ton of my heart and soul into that fic. and the responses were almost universally positive and kind and made me really happy.

there was one response though, that still sticks with me to this day. it was by and large very positive, just like the others. but it ended with a single sentence that, at the time, kind of just lowkey gutted me. Not gonna lie though, would have loved some slash in there.

like, that just cut me. way more than this person actually intended, I think. I’m pretty sure they just meant it as an offhanded comment, not even a concrit or anything. just “haha would have loved it if they’d kissed though lol.” but it stung. because this was something I’d put every ounce of emotion that I could conjure up into. and even though it wasn’t mean to be hurtful in any way, to me that comment read as “this is still missing something.” because there was no romance, the fic was incomplete. the characters’ feelings were incomplete. even though I’d struggled so much to convey all of these complex emotions which to me were so real and powerful, and even though the comment even acknowledged that I had by and large done so effectively, to me the single takeaway that stuck was that the feelings were less meaningful because there was no romance.

and that felt like a failing on my part. I even apologized for it. and here we are, ten years later, and that comment still pops up in my head any time I feel the urge to talk about a popular ship which I support but which I also enjoy as just a friendship. “just” a friendship. I still feel guilt over that. I still feel this urge to overexplain that I’m not trying to invalidate the actual romantic ship. I worry that I’d be perceived as ungrateful and/or a bad ally if I ever just came out and said “I wish there was more gen” like you were able to say so freely, anon. I worry about people getting offended if I were to say “I headcanon so and so as being aroace” because it might be viewed as an attack on their ships, or as latent homophobia, or something. like I have this paranoid fear that people might take it as me being puritanical and all “oh no, icky sex” or whatever, and so I end up just never bringing it up at all.

and that’s the thing about aromanticism, though; it’s so easy to just never talk about it at all, because for so many people it is just defined as a lack of something, rather than a something all on its own. it’s so easy for it to be something you just never bring up, and which just kind of quietly exists as the boring, bland, inoffensive yet uninteresting lack of a relationship; the default blank slate that most everyone is dying to fill in as soon as possible, except for you. and I’ve gone on thinking about it that way myself for so long that I’m still struggling now to sort out how to embrace it as an actual identity. it’s something I still have a lot of work to do on I guess.

anyway! so that all got very long and rambling and personal, far more so than I intended; clearly I have a lot of pent up thoughts and feelings about this lol. I guess I probably could stand to talk about it more, since the evidence would indicate that I clearly want to. but eh, baby steps. but anyways you are super valid anon and thank you so much for the love and comments. <3

#aromanticism #meta #aromanticism in fandom #personal #long post #ask #anon ask #hey um just an addendum this is a pro aroace post NOT an anti-shipping post #just to make that clear #like you can be for one thing without bashing the other #so if you want to reblog this that is awesome and I'm grateful #but please don't use it as a launching pad for any weird toxic 'shipping is bad' takes please and thanks

136 notes · View notes

findroleplay · 2 years

Note

LA CASA DE PAPEL / MONEY HEIST ROLEPLAY - BERLIN/PALERMO OR HELSINKI/PALERMO

I roleplay on discord or email but like this and I’ll reach out!

I’ve just rewatched & I need to get all my feelings about these ships out. I’m a multi-paragraph to Novella style writer who is literate and regular with replies, in the 18+ bracket. I’m big on including side characters and I have no limits or triggers but will always respect yours. We can discuss writing styles in more depth and you can ask me any questions too!

Primarily I am after a roleplay concerning La Casa de Papel (Money Heist) and particularly Berlin/Palermo. I wouldn’t mind playing either character, so you get first dibs.

I would be interested in writing Helsinki/Palermo as a main too and, in that case, would feel more comfortable writing Martín!

Plot ideas (I am open to anything so PLEASE FEEL FREE TO BRING ME YOUR IDEAS AS WELL! None of these are fully developed as I love plotting with my partner)

Berlin/Palermo (No Preference for Who I play!)

• Berlin returns after robbing the Mint as he makes it out (his illness isn’t as quick to take him over) and around the time that Rio is taken he goes to tell Palermo that they need to steal the gold. All about that gorgeous tension in a high stakes game. We can have scenes in the monastery as well as heist scenes!

• Palermo is in the first heist, meeting Berlin there for the first time. I’m thinking they have a bit of a FWB thing but Andrés never intends it to be anything more than that. Scenes in the Toledo House, possibly moving to the Mint eventually.

• College or HS!AU (18+ of course) with them meeting when they’re young. I love the idea of them meeting after hours when they both sneak in to steal exam papers or something. Proper bad boy/rich boy Andrés and nerdy but bitchy Martín. Would love to include the likes of Santiago, Jakov and Tatiana in Berlin’s crew and the rest of La Banda as well.

• Prison AU, similar to the other Alex Piña show Vis a Vis, where Berlin is the Zulema character and Martín the Macarena. You don’t need to have seen the show, but essentially Zulema runs the prison and Maca is the wrongly accused woman put in and targeted but who slowly builds something of a tumultuous friendship with Zulema. We would make it into a romantic thing, of course. And if you HAVE seen Vis a Vis then I’d be down to include stories like Hanbal and the hidden money.

• Martín takes over the Estocolmo role of being a hostage in the heist, becoming useful to the team, falling for Berlin…

• Ghost/Coma/Just Like Heaven type story with Berlin as a ghost, haunting Palermo. He appears to him in the Mint - perhaps triggered by news of the robbery appearing on the television of his hospital room if we go down the JLH role - and being there with him through it.

• Law Enforcement / Criminal AU Where Martín’s genius leads him down a different path. We can Have him take a negotiator role and stick with robbery OR we could even go for a Killing Eve style story.

• The robbery and time with Rafael but Martín is there too, tension between the two of them when Berlin is married, the addition of his son causing problems. Tatiana’s betrayal? All that stuff!

• Do you have any plots of your own? Please tell me! I’m open to any and all concepts.

Helsinki/Palermo

• I really like the idea of a post Heist type thing, with them trying to start a life together. This may go a bit stale so we can find ways to mix it up and create some action/angst etc in amongst all the fluff. I just really wanna see them go to the movies, lol.

• First Heist AU where Palermo is bought in too and initially tries using Helsinki to make Berlin jealous, but ends up falling for him somewhere along the way. I’m picturing them sneaking around like Rio and Tokyo did and how they were in the Monastery.

• Any of the above Berlermo plots you’d want to use for Helsinki/Palermo? Great! Let me know!

• Any ideas you have? Want to talk about this insane show and come up with a plot together? Awesome. Just add me (or DM me) and let’s do it!

I’d also be down for writing some Helsinki/Palermo as a side ship if we go for strictly Berlin/Palermo for extra tension and writing Tatiana for Berlin too, so as not to just completely forget everything there. She was cool. Also happy to write any original women and original side characters (and side pairings like Serquel) too. Let’s get talking!

Obviously I’d like someone who has seen all the seasons and understands and cares for the characters and their complexities (and their toxicity) the same as me. I’m an OOC chatter fan, so I would adore finding someone who is down to rant and rave over the latest season and share memes/songs/photos/the lot. Please get in touch!!!

Again, like if you’re interested and I’ll reach out.

• Please, when I get in contact, tell me a bit about yourself/what you’re interested in/any ideas you have flowing etc. If you write a proper introduction instead of just a couple sentences I’ll adore you… but I promise I’m not a hard taskmaster — just a believer that if we are here to write, first impressions are great! Hope to hear from someone soon!

#roleplay #rp #money heist roleplay #money heist rp #la casa de papel roleplay #la casa de papel rp

1 note · View note

fieryanmitsu · 4 years

Text

Worthy | A3! Rare Pairs Week 2020 – Day 1 (Itaru/Izumi)

I AM SO LATE, but welcome to my first entry for the A3! Rare Pairs Week 2020!

This writing event is being hosted by @A3!_69min on Twitter and AO3 and focuses on writing romantic fics for unpopular A3! pairings. As it happens, every single Izumi pairing except Sakyo/Izumi is a rare pair per the event’s definition of rare pair.

SO, MY GOAL IS TO WRITE IZUMI SHIPS ALL WEEK!

Of course, I’m starting off with my OTP – I love ItaIzu so much, I’ll take any excuse to write them.

WORTHY

PROMPTS: Adoration / Jealousy

CHARACTERS: Itaru Chigasaki, Izumi Tachibana

PAIRINGS: Itaru/Izumi

My fanfic masterpost: Here

AO3: Link in my Blog Menu

Izumi was curious.

The question had been on her mind all day since her conversation with Muku over breakfast. The middle schooler had been excitedly telling her all about the shojo manga he was currently reading. Apparently, he hadn’t slept well the night before because he had gotten worked up over the latest chapter.

“You’re staring a hole into my head,” her boyfriend remarked suddenly, though his eyes never left the television screen in front of him, his thumbs flying across his controller.

Itaru was playing some kind of action-adventure game and was currently exploring an underground dungeon with his character. Ever since she had mentioned that she liked the background music, he played this particular game whenever he had to wait for her to finish reviewing her post-rehearsal notes.

“Oh, sorry – I was just… curious about something. But, it’s a bit, er, awkward to ask about…” Izumi responded, one hand fidgeting with the pages of her notebook and the other absentmindedly poking the back of her pen into the Poyo – some pink, round mascot character that Itaru liked – cushion on her lap.

“Oh? Why don’t you try me?”

“Well… I was talking to Muku this morning about the shojo manga he’s reading. There was a scene where the rival character was confessing to the heroine. It was apparently a very heartfelt and passionate declaration of love. Something about how even seeing her with the other guy made his heart feel like it was being torn apart by knives. And that he hated seeing her cry because of that other guy and that he’d give up everything to whisk her away and make her happy. It ended with him asking the heroine to pick him instead.”

“Ahhh, yeah, that’s a classic. Never fails to stir up the fans,” Itaru responded with a knowing nod.

“And then, Muku gave me a 20-minute seminar on classic shojo jealousy scenes and, uh, well… They were more, um, thrilling than I expected? Sooooo, it kinda just, you know… made me wonder,” Izumi stiltedly blurted out. She couldn’t believe she was going to ask him this – her face was already flushed with embarrassment. Maybe Muku’s starry-eyed wonder was contagious. “Do you, umm… ever get jealous of seeing me with other guys?”

“Uh… I’m not sure how to tell you this, but you have twenty other guys, twenty-one if you count Kamekichi, hanging off you – sometimes literally – every single day. If I got jealous every time one of them sat next to you, I’d be six-feet under already.”

“Okay, yeah, that was dumb question – let me rephrase it!” Izumi backpedaled frantically. “What would you do if someone else confessed their love to me – like they were trying to steal me away? Would you be jealous? Would you fly into a blind rage? Or pin me against a wall and forcefully kiss me?! Or barge in and passionately declare: ‘Choose me, not him’?!”

“Man, you really are starting to sound like Muku – all of those options sound awful, by the way. But, in all seriousness, I, uh… don’t think that would ever happen,” he responded with a nervous chuckle.

Izumi felt herself deflate a bit, unable to help feeling just a teensy bit disappointed that he had shot down her fantasies so quickly. At the same time, she wasn’t sure that she could even imagine him acting that way. She just felt like… it wouldn’t be Itaru anymore – and that thought also made her feel uncomfortable. Maybe this whole jealousy thing wasn’t as exciting as she had thought it would be a few minutes ago.

As her thoughts came full circle, she suddenly heard an odd sound from the television. She had been watching Itaru play this game for a few days now and recognized the sounds his character made when he was dying. Thinking that he was losing against a boss, Izumi glanced at the screen and saw that he was just fighting a bunch of normal enemies. She noted that the usual boss music wasn’t playing, either. Yet, his health bar was slowly, but surely, depleting.

Thinking it was strange for him to be playing so badly, Izumi shifted her attention from the television screen to look at Itaru. What she saw made the blood in her veins turn to ice. Unceremoniously throwing her notebook and poor Poyo to the floor, she practically hurled her body across the empty space between them.

Itaru had taught her the basics of how to use his GameStation when she had borrowed a Blu-ray movie from a friend, and she knew that, if she pressed the middle button on his controller, it would bring the user back to the home screen. Reaching over his arm, she pushed down on the middle button and a blue screen immediately popped up, effectively pausing the game. Gently prying the controller away from Itaru’s limp hands, she set it down on his coffee table before she turned off the television screen.

“Itaru, what’s wrong?” she asked worriedly, placing a hand on one of his arms and squeezing it gently.

The salaryman’s brow was furrowed, and he kept his face averted from hers, gaze trained on the floor. Even from his profile, she could see that his mouth was set in a firm and tight line. It had been a long time since she’d seen him make this expression.

“You’re not going to like what I’m about to say,” he responded after a long pause.

Izumi could feel her stomach drop. She had heard those words before – it had been right before her last breakup. She had thought things were going well between them, but maybe she was wrong…?

“Why don’t you try me?” she prompted, trying to keep her voice light as she imitated his words from earlier.

At the same time, she did her best to brace her heart, despite that it was starting to beat erratically. Whatever he said, she would graciously accept it – telling herself that she couldn’t afford to have things be awkward between them.

“Getting jealous over someone… it only happens when you don’t want them taken away from you, right?” Itaru said slowly, deliberately. “So… I don’t think I could ever be jealous… because… I… I don’t feel that way.”

Izumi couldn’t have possibly braced hard enough for that kind of impact. She could feel a hot feeling well up in her throat and tears were already prickling at the back of her eyes.

“Does… Does that mean you don’t want to be with me, anymore?” she asked, unable to help the waver in her voice.

Her question hung in the air unanswered as she watched him clench and unclench his hands on his lap, his eyes still stuck on the floor.

“Itaru, will you look at me? Please?” she begged. She was starting to feel light-headed and she just… She just needed to ground herself somehow.

After a long moment, he shifted his position to angle himself towards her on the couch, though his eyes remained downcast.

Izumi gently cupped his face in her hands and lifted his head to level with her own. She could feel his jaw clenched beneath her palms.

“Itaru, talk to me,” she coaxed gently, fighting to keep her voice steady. “What did you mean earlier?”

Though he didn’t move her hands away, he continued to avert his eyes.

“I… I can’t be jealous,” he began quietly. “Because… if someone else confessed to you, it’d be better that way. I’d be happy.”

“Why would you say that?” Izumi demanded, her tone coming out harsher than she had intended. She inhaled deeply to try and calm herself, though her brain was still rattled by his words. “Weren’t you the one who confessed to me first, Itaru? You asked me to give you a chance, so why would you think that way?”

A long moment passed between them in silence, but Izumi could see Itaru’s emotions warring on his face. She didn’t dare breathe until he finally opened his mouth again.

“Sometimes… I think it was a mistake that I asked you out,” he said quietly, his voice cracking as he continued on. “The more time I spend with you… the more I think about how… how you deserve someone better than me.”

Suddenly, she felt a wet sensation tickle against her fingers. As tears fell from his magenta-coloured eyes, Izumi was struck by several emotions.

The first was awe. For the first time, she understood what it meant when people said that there were beautiful criers. Though she knew that it was morbid, at that moment, she truly thought that Itaru was the most beautiful man she had ever seen, even as tears blotted his cheeks and turned his eyes red.

The second was sorrow. She felt unspeakable sadness that this person before her had struggled through so much in his life that he felt unworthy of being with someone he professed to love and thought that she would be better off without him.

Anger was the third. She was angry at herself for being unable to reassure him, to stop him from feeling this way despite the amount of time they had already spent together.

Last of all, she felt a surge of… something. She had only been in a couple of casual relationships before, and none of them as passionate as the one she had experienced with Itaru in the past half a year. Nor were any of them as comfortable as what she felt when she was with him. Spending time with Itaru both calmed her and brought butterflies to her stomach. Never in her life had she felt like she mattered as much as she did than when this man looked at her.

Was this love? She didn’t know, since she had no landmark to compare it against. But, what she was sure of was that she didn’t want to see Itaru look this way. She wanted to see him with his usual crooked smirk, just like the one he always gave when he teased her. She wanted to see his eyes crinkle like they did when he won a game. She wanted to see a smile on his face – like the one that bloomed across his face whenever the curtains fell after a successful Spring Troupe performance.

She didn’t know when it had started, but she was crying as well.

“Itaru,” she started, ignoring the salty taste in her mouth as her tears rolled past her lips, turning his face in an attempt to meet his gaze. “You… You don’t mean that, do you.”

“I do,” he said firmly, still refusing to look her in the eye. Instead, he took her hands in his and removed it from his face – but rather than letting them go, his fingers squeezed hers tightly.

“No, you don’t,” she replied just as forcefully, finding her footing again as her heart resolved itself. “Because if you did, then you wouldn’t look so torn right now. Your hands wouldn’t be shaking. If you would truly be happy to have someone take me away from you, then you wouldn’t have been dying against enemies that you can usually beat in your sleep.”

Itaru closed his eyes, as if he were wincing in pain.

“Itaru, please. Don’t push me away.”

A fresh stream of tears rolled down his face as he let out a rasping breath, shoulders shaking.

“Did you know, the look on your face just now was so similar to when you told me you wanted to quit the troupe? You couldn’t look at me when I asked you to admit that you weren’t interested in theatre – that you didn’t care about performing with the others,” she said softly, using her thumb to wipe away the tears streaking his face.

As a quiet sob tore its way out of Itaru’s throat, he leaned forward and buried his head against her shoulder, quickly soaking the material of her shirt. Letting her own tears fall, she lightly ran her fingers through his hair.

“I… I want… to be with you… I want to feel worthy of you,” he gasped out in between sobs.

“Itaru, I’m not some deity on a pedestal. I’m just a regular person, like you. You don’t have to be worthy of anything to be with me,” she replied.

She felt him shake his head against her shoulder, his hair tickling against her chin.

“If you still think that way, then… then let me tell you what I told you once before. Give yourself a little more time,” Izumi said, wrapping her arms around him, and nuzzling her face into his hair. “You owe it to yourself to keep trying. And… it’s not all on you. I’ll keep trying, too. I want to be a person that’s worthy of your efforts.”

Then, after a long moment cradled in her arms, Itaru slowly lifted his head and finally allowed his red-rimmed eyes to meet hers, a small, lop-sided smile sneaking its way onto his lips.

“Well… then I hope you’re ready to accept responsibility for your actions again.”

“Of course!”

I had hoped to put this out on the actual first day of this week, but I kept rewriting it because I wasn’t satisfied with it. Even now, I’m not completely pleased with the finished product, but, I honestly don’t know how long it would take me to finish writing if I kept mulling over it! So, I decided to finally just settle with this version and post it and not look back!!

In the end, I still got my central point across: which is that I wanted to write about how and why someone doesn’t feel jealous in a romantic relationship. And, so, this happened, haha. But, I didn’t want a sad ending, so I ended up on a hopeful note.

Anyway, I APPARENTLY ONLY WRITE ITAIZU ANGST. I’m so sorry, Itaru – I’ll do you right next time!! No, really, HAHA. My entry for Day 2 (which will hopefully get written out in the next couple of days) is another ItaIzu and it’s NOT sad, I promise. In fact, it’s just PWP, LOLOL.

If you liked my first entry, please do stick around for my other pieces for “A3! Rare Pairs Week 2020”! After my ItaIzu for Day 2, I’ll be moving on to other Izumi pairings. It’s a secret for now which pairings will all be covered in the end, but I’m here to spread the Izumi love!!

Thank you for reading and please do leave a comment letting me know what you think! Any reblogs are always greatly appreciated and would really help me out!

I hope to see you again! Bye for now!

-Anmitsu

#a3!#act! addict! actors!#itaru chigasaki #izumi tachibana #itaru x izumi #chigasaki itaru #tachibana izumi #a3! game #a3! act! addict! actors!#act addict actors #a3! actor training game #itaru chigasaki x izumi tachibana #a3! itaru #a3! izumi #a3! rare pairs week 2020 #anmitsu writes

46 notes · View notes

moonwaif · 4 years

Text

Do not waste your pearls for me

Summary: Lan Wangji is rescued by a young human with a talent for woodwind instruments, a gorgeous smile and eyelashes that go on for days.

Or, that one time Wei Wuxian snuck a whole-ass fish person into Lotus Pier.

Words: approx. 9,000

Tags: trauma, abuse, healing, mermaid!lanwangji, wangxian, unresolved romantic tension

Rating: G

(Originally posted on Ao3)

Lan Wangji remembers the hollow echo of agony and death. He remembers the violent jolt of the wreckage, of finally spilling out into open water only to be too weak to swim. Then he remembers the sensation of strong arms wrapped around him, of being torn and tugged until at last breaking through to the cool night air.

Next he remembers a rocking sensation. Coarse cloth. The sound of lapping water. Someone carrying him. Opening his eyes to a ceiling of shadowy wooden beams above him.

After that, he remembers nothing.

These are Lan Wangji’s most recent memories when he regains consciousness. The past, however, is no longer his concern. As his mind clears, so does his understanding of his current situation. He is in a dark room, sitting in a too-small wooden tub filled with water, his fins poking over the edge. He doesn’t know this place. The panic is instant, as is the pain. Gripping the edge of the tub, he tries to raise himself up, tail flopping and splashing wildly.

“Woah, woah--easy there.”

A voice, gentle, speaks from beside him. Lan Wangji’s head spins frantically in its direction. A human man is crouched beside the tub. His hair is long, his face is handsome, and he smiles in a way that Lan Wangji can only assume is meant to be reassuring. Cautiously, eyes never once leaving Lan Wangji’s face, he reaches a hand out towards him.

Droplets fly as Lan Wangji’s arm flashes out of the water, snatching the man’s wrist with the speed of a viper.

The man’s smile falters, but he doesn’t try to pull away. “It’s okay. I don’t want to hurt you.” He raises his other arm, showing the small pouch clutched in his hand. “I need to apply this medicine to your wounds.”

Lan Wangji has heard cautionary tales of jiaoren who had the misfortune of encountering humans—of how they were taken captive and disassembled like furniture, their body parts sold in human apothecaries1. Growing up, he saw peers who wandered too close to the shallows punished and beaten, the elders exchanging one act of cruelty for another in the hope that it would save future lives. So when this man says that he wants to heal Lan Wangji, to help him, Lan Wangji knows it is a lie.

If he were at his full strength, Lan Wangji would blast him with spiritual energy. He’d drag himself from this washtub, strangle the man to death, scratch out his eyes--anything to get away. But he has spent the last several days and nights sitting in a barrel of his own fetid water. He’s been beaten and drugged. The gash in his fin burns, enough to distract him from the numerous other wounds on his body. Even if he did somehow manage to make it back to the lake, he doubts he could even swim.

Eyes narrowed, Lan Wangji reluctantly loosens his fingers.

The man laughs stiffly. He flexes his wrist. “Damn--your grip is like a vice! Just try to relax, okay? I promise I won’t hurt you.”

Lan Wangji's entire body is rigid, eyes tracking the man's hand as it draws closer. He prepares himself for an attack, but none comes. The man merely presses his fingers to a wound on Lan Wangji's chest. The paste he gently massages in feels soothing and cool. Lan Wangji's tension slowly melts into confusion.

Is this human really trying to heal him?

Lan Wangji knows this can't bode well. Perhaps the man is trying to cure him for some sinister purpose. Maybe he intends to keep Lan Wangji alive in captivity, to force him to weave jiao xiao sha or produce pearls like some sort of livestock2. Or maybe he wants to sell him to a rich noble as an exotic house pet, like his original captors had planned on doing. But the pleasant sensation of the man's ministrations gradually stills the flow of Lan Wangji's anxious thoughts. By the time the man reaches his torn fins, Lan Wangji has slumped back into the washtub in a state of half-miserable, half-relieved stupor.

He's too tired to be afraid anymore.

"These wounds may take some time to heal," the man explains. "Especially the one on your fin. It looks infected. It's best if you stay here for a while. Ah, are you cold? You're shaking. Your fever is still pretty high, so I can't warm up the water too much, but a little should be all right . . ."

Still babbling, the man reaches into his robes and pulls out a slip of something that looks like very thin, fragile cloth. There is writing on it, but Lan Wangji doesn't get a chance to read it. The man slaps it on the side of the washtub, and the water suddenly heats up. A soft moan passes through Lan Wangji's lips.

The man's face breaks into a smile. Lan Wangji is dazed by how bright and genuine it is.

'So lovely,' he thinks groggily. 'Is this another kind of medicine?'

¤¤¤¤¤¤

Lan Wangji spends the next several days tormented by strange dreams. Sometimes he is back on the smugglers' ship, and they're dissecting him alive. Sometimes he sits cradled on his mother's lap, her hands guiding his as she teaches him to weave jiao xiao sha, her whisper warm against his ear, 'Like this, A-Zhan.' Sometimes it's that human boy, laughing and smiling and talking about who knows what. Other times it's the sensation of cool water running down his throat, or a spoonful of warm, salty liquid passing through his lips. And then sometimes it's gentle music, a kind that Lan Wangji has never heard before. It reminds him of birdsong, or the whistling dolphins he heard the one time he traveled far from the lake with his brother, when they followed the hidden channels and ventured out to sea.

"You snuck back a whole-ass fish person!"

These half-whispered, half-shouted words abruptly wrench Lan Wangji back into the present and anchor him there. His eyes snap open. He is still in the same room, in the same washtub. The same young man is also there. This time, however, he is accompanied by another human, one in purple robes and bearing a scowl that immediately sets Lan Wangji on edge.

"Do you have any idea what would happen if my parents found out about this?" the second man continues in a strained voice. "They'd beat you until the discipline stick cracked in half!"

The first man sighs. "Jiang Cheng. You worry too much. Entire days have passed since I first hid him here, and so far no one else has found out. You really think people would wait this long to get suspicious? Everything will be fine. We just need to act like nothing is out of the ordinary."

The man named Jiang Cheng seems unconvinced. In fact, his eyes look like they are about to bulge out of his skull. "Wei Wuxian--!"

"Shh! If you keep shouting, someone will definitely hear. Is that what you want?"

Jiang Chiang's face screws up like he's chewing sour eels, but he doesn't protest further. Wei Wuxian, apparently satisfied, turns away. His eyes land on Lan Wangji.

'Oh,' Lan Wangji thinks. 'That smile again . . .'

"You're awake!" Wei Wuxian declares. He scampers over to the washtub and plops down on the floor, crossing his legs. "Did you rest well? How are you feeling?"

Lan Wangji purses his lips. He glances at Jiang Cheng, who's eying him with equal wariness, then back at Wei Wuxian, whose smile fades in the ongoing silence. He coughs lightly, then reaches for a tray on the low table beside him.

"My shijie made some soup for you earlier. It's still warm--mostly. Are you hungry, young fish lord?"

Lan Wangj bristles. Young fish lord ?! Jiang Cheng, meanwhile, snorts.

"Why do you bother talking? He probably doesn't even speak our language."

"You don't know that! Besides, what kind of host would I be if I didn't try to make pleasant conversation? Fish brother," he says, and Lan Wangji's eyes harden in the fiercest glare he can muster, "would you like some soup?"

He holds up the tray, mimics eating from the bowl. Lan Wangji stares coldly.

Wei Wuxian's face scrunches up in a disappointed pout. He sets the tray back on the table. "Maybe later, then. Oh, I still haven't introduced myself. My name is Wei Ying, courtesy name Wei Wuxian. But you can just call me Wei Ying if that's easier. Wei Ying. Wei Ying. Got it?"

No one has spoken to Lan Wangji in such a condescending tone since he was a small child. His webbed fingers clench into fists.

"This guy over here is my shidi, Jiang Cheng," Wei Wuxian continues. "Courtesy name Jiang Wanyin. His parents are the leaders of the Jiang clan, and this is their headquarters--Lotus Pier. Fish brother, you must have really great luck, because the Yunmeng Jiang sect is definitely the best cultivation sect in the human world. Trust me, you're in great hands."

Lan Wangji knows of the Yunmeng Jiang sect. His brother Lan Xichen, as well as several other high-level members of the Lan sect, occasionally disguise themselves and venture out into the human world to trade for goods. Even more importantly, they gather information. Unlike most freshwater jiaoren, who have long since been driven out from their natural habitats by human settlements, the Lan jiaoren of Yunmeng lake have managed to survive thanks to the careful tabs they keep on the local human activity. This activity of course includes the Yunmeng Jiang sect. Now, sitting in a washtub at Lotus Pier, Lan Wangji releases tension in his shoulders that he didn't even know he was holding.

When he’d been trapped on the smuggler’s boat, he wasn’t sure how far he had traveled or where to. Now he's so close to home, he can taste it. Maybe this situation isn't completely hopeless after all. Maybe, just maybe, he'll make it out alive.

"Those smugglers . . . They did bad things to you, didn't they?"

Wei Wuxian's voice is low. A burning sensation builds in the back of Lan Wangji's throat. He blinks, and blinks again, then looks away. This non-response seems to confirm something for Wei Wuxian, because his expression grows suddenly angry. He makes what must be an attempt at a chuckle, but it comes off as a cold sneer.

"Don't worry. They're in a place where they can't bother you anymore--or anyone else, for that matter."

The edge in his voice takes Lan Wangji off-guard. Wei Wuxian’s face quickly softens back into a reassuring smile.

"I managed to salvage some things from the wreckage," he says. "I've been wanting to show them to you, but you wouldn't wake up!"

He stands and walks over to a long, flat chest in the corner. Lan Wangji's curiosity stirs. He wonders, as well as hopes, until Wei Wuxian finally finishes rummaging. He holds up what Lan Wangji knows is a neatly folded robe. He knows because he recognizes the fabric. It is white, translucent like a pearl--the same color as Lan Wangji's scales. Pale aqua embroidery shimmers on the edges.

"Are these yours?" Wei Wuxian asks, and Lan Wangji is barely able to stop himself from nodding. "Either way, you should put some clothes on."

Horror pierces Lan Wangji like a spear. Amidst all the chaos, he's overlooked the most obvious: he is completely naked in front of two strangers!

Lan Wangji crosses his arms and sinks beneath the water in a desperate attempt to cover himself. Wei Wuxian smirks and lays the robe on the edge of the tub. Lan Wangji waits until he has finished strolling back over to the chest before snatching up his clothing and yanking it on. It's difficult to wrap the layers around himself in such a confined space, but he does manage to make himself somewhat decent.

"Oi, Wei Wuxian. What do you think you're doing?"

Jiang Cheng, who up until this point has been hovering like an irritable mother duck, rushes forward. Lan Wangji's gaze follows him, and what he sees fills him with a mixture of shock, then relief, then confusion, and finally anger.

Clasped in Wei Wuxian's grubby, human hands is none other than Lan Wangji's sword, Bichen.

"I'm giving him his sword back," Wei Wuxian answers easily. "Why? Do you feel left out because I don't have any gifts for you, too?"

"Why the hell would you give him a weapon?!"

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes. "Really, Jiang Cheng? We're the two prides of Yunmeng. He's a half-dead fish person. Sword or not, you really don't think we could take him?"

Jiang Cheng grits his teeth. He darts a sharp look in Lan Wangji's direction, sizing him up. Lan Wangji tries to inject as much hatred into his expression as he can muster.

"Fine,” Jiang Cheng relents, “but don’t come crying to me when he drags himself across the floor to slit your throat! What makes you so sure it's his, anyway? Those thieves could have stolen it from anyone.”

Wei Wuxian leans forward conspiratorially. He raises the sword for Jiang Cheng to better see, and just barely unsheathes the blade. Bile rises in Lan Wangji’s throat. This Wei Ying--how dare he!

“See?” Wei Wuxian whispers. “Look at the blade.”

Jiang Cheng blinks. “Is that . . . ?”

“Mhm. Pearl.”

Jiang Cheng reaches out, caressing the blade with his fingertips. “How unusual . . .”

An indignant splash draws their attention. Lan Wangji is sitting ramrod straight in the washtub, his eyes like smoldering coals. Chuckling sheepishly, Wei Wuxian sheathes the sword.

“Here,” he says, laying it on the low table. “Just don’t try to kill me, all right? I spent so long trying to heal you. If we fight, I’ll be forced to injure you, and all that time will be wasted. Now I have just one more thing of yours, but I think it might be broken. I swear it wasn’t me, though! It was like that when I found it.”

This “thing” Wei Wuxian turns out to be Lan Wangji’s guqin. Just seeing Wangji laid out on the table beside Bichen is enough to make a warm, pleasant ache blossom across Lan Wangji’s chest.

“How is it broken?” Jiang Cheng asks. “It looks fine to me.”

Wei Wuxian plucks a string. Lan Wangji darts a glare in his direction. Jiang Cheng, meanwhile, frowns.

“Why is there no sound?”

Wei Wuxian shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe the tuning got messed up, or the instrument was damaged somehow. Either way none of the strings will make a sound.”

Lan Wangji’s nostrils flare. If he wanted to, he could explain away their confusion. But he doesn’t want to, so he sits in silence as they babble speculatively. In the meantime he tries to puzzle out what Wei Wuxian can possibly mean by returning Lan Wangji’s belongings. All three would fetch a pretty price. Why not try to pawn them, or hoard them in a treasury? And if Wei Wuxian means to sell Lan Wangji or imprison him, why offer him a weapon?

None of it makes sense.

Lost in thought, Lan Wangji’s gaze wanders. Suddenly, he spots something familiar. He leans forward so quickly that water sloshes over the side of the washtub.

There, lying on the floor just in front of the open chest, is the Lan clan forehead ribbon!

Wei Wuxian follows his gaze. Spotting the ribbon, he bends down to retrieve it, crumpling the fabric in his hand. Lan Wangji’s stomach curls and his ears grow hot. Wei Wuxian, however, is blissfully unaware of having violated any taboo. He even has the audacity to look a bit pleased with himself as he holds the ribbon out to Lan Wangji.

“Is this yours? Sorry, it must have fallen out of your robes when--”

Lan Wangji wrenches the ribbon away with such vehemence that he nearly scratches Wei Wuxian. Startled, Wei Wuxian backs away.

“Fish brother!” he exclaims. “I’m trying to help you. Do you really have to be so rude?”

Lan Wangji stares hard at the ribbon clutched in his hand. He has always been brought up to honor the sincerity and generosity of others. Now, acting so fearful and suspicious, he is ashamed of his own behavior.

Wei Wuxian, however, has already recovered. “That’s all I was able to find. Sorry again about your guqin. Maybe when you get back home, the other jiaoren can fix it for you.”

Lan Wangji looks up at Wei Wuxian, so stunned that he accidentally lets the cold mask slip from his face. When you get back home?

Jiang Cheng nudges Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. “Come on. We’ve been gone long enough. If we don’t go back, they’ll notice.”

Wei Wuxian nods in agreement. Both of them shoot uneasy glances Lan Wangji’s way. Wei Wuxian, however, is the only one to actually speak.

“I have to leave now. I’ll be back later to change your water. Don’t do anything stupid. Okay, fish brother?”

He speaks slowly, with elaborate gestures. Lan Wangji, of course, says nothing.

Jiang Cheng sighs, shakes his head. “Come on,” he says again, and drags Wei Wuxian from the room.

Alone, Lan Wangji sinks into the water. Wei Wuxian’s words reverberate in his mind with aching persistence: when you get back home.

Could this human truly mean to release him?

¤¤¤¤¤¤

Over the next couple of days, Wei Wuxian visits regularly. He comes in the morning, before the sun has risen. He comes midday, clothes rumpled and stinking of sweat. And then he comes once more at night. Each time he always brings something, never once empty-handed. Sometimes it's drinking water and fresh fruit, sometimes porridge or a more flavorful dish. Although Lan Wangji never reacts, Wei Wuxian seems to enjoy introducing him to new human foods.

"Wow, you really cleaned out that last bowl! So you like steamed wuchang fish after all, eh? Fish brother, you really are lucky to end up in Yunmeng. Just think, you could've gotten stuck in a different part of the human world where the people eat boring food, haha! My shijie is making rib and lotus root soup tonight. I'll definitely save some for you! If you liked the last dish, just you wait . . ."

Lan Wangji still isn't sure how he feels about human cuisine. Some of the spices are a bit too strong for his liking. In truth, he is homesick for the plain, reed broths of his own home. But Lan Wangji has always been taught not to waste food, and he has to admit, there is something comforting about being looked after so conscientiously.

One day, Wei Wuxian brings a bottle of oil and a comb.

"For your hair," he explains, running the comb through his own locks to demonstrate. The movement is charming, as is the little awkward laugh that follows it. Lan Wangi’s tongue suddenly feels too thick for his mouth. He realizes he’s staring, and Wei Wuxian must realize it too, because his cheeks redden slightly. But then Wei Wuxian is striding over to the washtub, his gait confident and without a care in the world.

“I thought you might want to spruce up a bit,” he says. “No offense but you’re looking a little rough these days.”

Lan Wangji has never been a vain person, as pride in one’s own physical appearance is forbidden by the Lan sect. He is, however, fastidiously disciplined in keeping himself neat and orderly. He glances at the long, knotted strands of hair hanging over his shoulders and feels a wave of dismay. Has he ever neglected his own appearance this long before? Why didn’t Wei Wuxian say something sooner?

“Not that you look bad or anything,” Wei Wuxian says quickly. “You’re still the most handsome fish brother out there. If it weren’t for me, you’d probably be the most handsome person in Yunmeng, too.”

He laughs at his own joke, face splitting into a wide grin. Lan Wangji, momentarily distracted from his own self-inspection, swallows thickly. On the one hand, he is disgusted by Wei Wuxian’s vanity. On the other, he is . . . unsettled. This Wei Wuxian with his long, unruly and yet somehow silky black hair; his sharp, mischievous features; and his hard, lean physique under purple robes--this Wei Wuxian thinks Lan Wangji is handsome.

‘He’s just joking,’ Lan Wangji scolds himself harshly. ‘Don’t let mere teasing put you in turmoil.’

But Lan Wangji can’t help but startle when Wei Wuxian lifts a strand of his hair, fingertips barely brushing the ends of his forehead ribbon. Panicking, Lan Wangji smacks the hand away. Wei Wuxian grumbles something about “only trying to help,” but doesn’t try to touch him again.

When Lan Wangji finishes combing his own hair, Wei Wuxian brings him a bronze hand mirror. Lan Wangji almost expects to see a different face staring back at him, but no--the reflection is his own. It’s strange, to have gone through so much and yet somehow still be the same person. Strange, and grounding.

Wei Wuxian props an elbow on the edge of the tub. “See? Now you’re definitely the handsomest.”

¤¤¤¤¤¤

As more time passes, Wei Wuxian continues to talk to Lan Wangji. He talks about Lotus Pier. He describes what the pavilion looks like, as well as the training field. He describes the number of disciples, who is who and what they’re good at. He tells Lan Wangji about the tiny mishaps that occur during that day’s practice, such as Jiang Cheng accidentally stepping in a pile of horse shit on their way to the archery range (Lan Wangji isn’t sure what a horse is, but apparently it takes massive shits). He tells Lan Wangji, in great detail, of his own prowess with the blade and bow. He shows him his sword--“Suibian,” Wei Wuxian says proudly, and Lan Wangji gives him a blank expression, because nothing would surprise him at this point--and even twirls it around, showing off a few moves.

As he talks, Wei Wuxian is hardly ever still. Sometimes he is crouched at the low table, preparing food or medicine. Other times he is pacing, gesturing animatedly. And then sometimes, when it’s late and everyone in Lotus Pier has already gone to bed, Wei Wuxian pulls open one of the screen doors to let in some fresh air. Leaned against the doorframe, either standing or sitting with his long legs stretched out, Wei Wuxian continues speaking. His profile is sharp in the moonlight, the lake black in the distance behind him. Sometimes he has a jar of wine with him, which he always offers to Lan Wangji, who always silently refuses. Other times he brings out a small, black musical instrument--something he tells Lan Wangji is a dizi. Lan Wangji closes his eyes as Wei Wuxian plays, letting the music carry him far from this small shed, far over the lake, into the sky with its last fading notes. But sometimes he keeps his eyes open to watch Wei Wuxian; watches his legs--how they cross or uncross, raise, bend, lie flat--or watches his face. He’s never seen someone whose smile could look so sad, who with a tilt of their head could almost beckon hither. ‘Come,’ his closed eyes seem to say. ‘Listen to my song, and I will tell you . . . I will tell you . . .’

Lan Wangji is not sure who he prefers: this still, pensive Wei Wuxian, or the Wei Wuxian who skips and bounds, who laughs with sincerity and without restraint.

In addition to talking and telling, Wei Wuxian asks questions. He does it in odd places, almost like he’s trying to trick Lan Wangji into answering. “It’s the season for lotus pods. I think I should steal some from the neighbors. What do you think, fish brother?” Or, “I can’t believe Jiang Yanli is still gonna marry that peacock! I really can’t stand it, fish brother. Even if he prayed for five thousand years, Jin Zixuan wouldn’t come close to deserving my shijie. By the way fish brother, what’s your name?”

Lan Wangji considers answering. Is there really any harm in it? But the thought of talking to Wei Wuxian after having stayed silent for so long makes his stomach roll. He feels a little ridiculous, really. So Wei Wuxian talks, and Lan Wangji continues to listen. It can be annoying, especially if Lan Wangji is trying to eat. A few times Lan Wangji closes his eyes and pretends to fall asleep just so Wei Wuxian will shut up. He even considers using the silencing spell. But after a while, Lan Wangji grows to expect it. Eventually, he stops noticing altogether.

And then one day, Wei Wuxian does not talk at all.

He arrives at night, later than usual. Lan Wangji straightens in his tub, waits for the customary greeting and subsequent tirade of small talk, but none comes. Wei Wuxian simply brings the tray in his hands over to the small table. He doesn’t once meet Lan Wangji’s gaze.

Lan Wangji’s concern is instantaneous. He scrutinizes Wei Wuxian’s face, observes the dark circles under his eyes, the dryness of his lips, the flush of his forehead and cheeks. Has he fallen ill? If so, he should be resting, not taking care of Lan Wangji. Or perhaps something has happened to a member of the Jiang family Wei Wuxian cares so much about. Or maybe he suffered an injury during training. Or--

Wei Wuxian suddenly leans over, interrupting Lan Wangji’s thoughts with a steaming bowl of soup. During this exchange, their eyes finally meet. Wei Wuxian blinks, taken aback, then offers up a weak smile.

“Sorry--I’m just tired today,” he says gently. “Are you hungry? I hope I didn’t make you wait too long.”

Lan Wangji feels the muscles in his jaw relax. He looks down at the bowl in his hands, pretending to be interested in its contents. Wei Wuxian watches him for a moment, then lays both forearms on the edge of the tub, chin drooping until it is propped atop them.

“It’s kind of embarrassing, actually,” he mumbles. Lan Wangji glances at him from the corner of his eye. “I got in trouble this morning for talking back to Madam Yu. Jiang Fengmian is away at a discussion conference, so she beat me a little bit and then made me kneel in the hall of the ancestors for hours. What am I, a little kid?”

Lan Wangji uses the spoon to scoop up some broth and vegetables, but he doesn’t really feel hungry anymore.

“Actually, fish brother . . .”

Lan Wangji glances at Wei Wuxian more fully this time. Wei Wuxian’s lip quirks, somewhere between a grimace and a smile.

“I have a confession,” he says sheepishly. “Since you can’t understand me, it’s okay if I just tell you, right? When I got in trouble today, I caused some problems for Jiang Cheng and shijie. I felt really bad about it, so when Madam Yu released me from the Ancestral Hall, I snuck a jar of wine back to my room and drank it all. Then I took another jar and I drank that, too. That’s why I was late bringing you dinner. I really am a bad caretaker, aren’t I? Please forgive me, fish brother. I promise to do better in the future . . .”

He trails off in a yawn. Lan Wangji is feeling less sympathetic now. He gives Wei Wuxian an exasperated look, but Wei Wuxian’s eyes aren’t open to see it. Even so, he continues talking, his voice an exhausted slur.

“Do you miss your family, fish brother? What am I saying, of course you do. They must miss you, too. You’ve been away for so long now. Don’t worry--you should be able to go home soon. You’re getting better every day . . . You’re doing a really great job . . .”

Lan Wangji sniffs--the closest thing he’ll allow himself to a chuckle. But he’s not really sure he finds anything about this situation funny.

Wei Wuxian snores softly while Lan Wangji drinks his stew. He’s still snoring when Lan Wangji leans over the edge of the tub to set the empty bowl on the floor. Lan Wangji wonders if he should wake him. As he ponders, a crease forms between Wei Wuxian’s brows. A shudder runs through his shoulders. Is it cold, Lan Wangji wonders? It’s hard for him to tell, with all of the warming talismans Wei Wuxian leaves plastered to the washtub. Lan Wangji hesitates, then slowly begins to remove his outer robe. Weaved from jiao xiao sha, the fabric is dry, despite having been in the water all day. He lays it across Wei Wuxian’s shoulders. The crease between his brows smooths. Satisfied, Lan Wangji settles back. He watches Wei Wuxian for a while, then lets his own eyes slip shut.

When Lan Wangji awakens in the morning, Wei Wuxian is gone, and the robe is folded neatly on the low table beside a bowl of porridge.

¤¤¤¤¤¤

When the door opens that afternoon, Lan Wangji expects a chagrined Wei Wuxian to greet him. Instead it’s Jiang Cheng.

The look he gives Lan Wangji as he slams the tray down on the table is anything but friendly. He doesn’t say anything, either. Lan Wangji wants to ask him why Wei Wuxian isn’t here--if he got sick or if he was punished again. But his aversion towards this arrogant human is far greater than his curiosity, so he remains silent.

Before he leaves, Jiang Cheng pauses at the door.

“Wei Wuxian may trust you,” he snaps, whirling around, “but I don’t. And if you do anything to hurt him, I’ll chop your fins off and fry them! G-got it?!”

His threat is undermined by the slight stammer at the end. Reddening, Jiang Cheng whirls on his heel and slams the door behind him.

Lan Wangji takes a moment to process this. Him, hurt Wei Wuxian? How? His sword, of course, is still kept within arm’s reach, but what motive could he possibly possess? Despite his confusion, Lan Wanji can’t help but feel that this interaction serves as a reminder. He and Wei Wuxian are not the same, and Lan Wangji will never truly be safe here. He’s let himself get too comfortable.

Lan Wangji is still brooding when the door opens again that evening. This time it actually is Wei Wuxian. He’s carrying a large bucket of fresh water and a satchel slung over his shoulder.

The satchel is moving.

Wei Wuxian sets the bucket of water down with a grunt. “Sorry I’m late! Did Jiang Cheng give you trouble?”

Lan Wangji’s eyes narrow, staring pointedly at the satchel. Wei Wuxian grins.

“Hehe. So you noticed, huh? Do you want to see what’s inside?”

Without waiting for an answer, Wei Wuxian crouches down and removes the satchel. He opens it just barely. Intrigued, Lan Wangji peers inside.

Two red, beady eyes blink back at him from within the softest, furriest white face he’s ever seen.

“I brought a friend!” Wei Wuxian declares. He scoops the creature out, holding it up for Lan Wangji to see. “Isn’t it cute? Have you ever seen one of these, fish brother? It’s called a rabbit. That peacock brought some for my shijie today to keep as pets. Hmph. Such a suck-up. But that’s why I was late. I was helping shijie take care of them. It’s so soft! Feel.”

Lan Wangji’s hand, which up until this point has been gripping the edge of the tub, is suddenly snatched up by Wei Wuxian. A strangled protest rises and dies in Lan Wangji’s throat. Wei Wuxian’s fingers are rough and warm, like driftwood in the sun. He guides Lan Wangji’s hand, pressing it gently against the creature’s back. The rabbit, too, is warm, but also shivery and frail beneath its fur. The pink eyes swivel in Lan Wangji’s direction. Its nose twitches. Lan Wangji strokes it softly, slowly, afraid of startling it away.

‘What strange fins it has,’ he thinks. The back fins are long--almost as longs as its entire body. Lan Wangji suddenly realizes that he has never seen Wei Wuxian’s fins. They are always covered in dark leather boots. What must they look like?

He suddenly feels Wei Wuxian’s eyes on him. He’s watching closely, an absent-minded smile on his lips. The expression is too fond, too open. It makes Lan Wangji’s stomach twist.

“Do you want to hold it?” Wei Wuxian asks.

Lan Wangji cradles the rabbit in his arms while Wei Wuxian empties the tub and changes out the water. This procedure is always an ordeal. The first time it happened, Wei Wuxian had actually carried Lan Wangji out of the tub.

"I'm going to pick you up now," he'd said, entirely serious, and Lan Wangji had been so aghast he'd almost asked Wei Wuxian if he'd lost his damn mind. The next thing he knew one arm was around his waist, fingers digging into his ribs as Wei Wuxian pulled him up and out of the tub. When he actually slid his other arm beneath Lan Wangji's tail--the space right below his rump--Lan Wangji almost threw up. It was humiliating to be so defenseless, to be manhandled so easily. It was revolting. It was exhilarating. It was the smell of freshly washed skin, of wine and citrus. It was being close enough to see a blemish on Wei Wuxian's chin, to see the shadow cast by his long eyelashes.

Ever since then, Lan Wangji climbs out of the tub by himself, even if he has to drag himself across the floor like a literal fish out of water. It doesn't stop the thoughts though--the thoughts of Wei Wuxian, and how it felt to be in his arms.

Wei Wuxian always has to make multiple trips before the tub is refilled. It never seems to bother him, though. Today he is in an especially good mood, humming to himself and sneaking Lan Wangji amused glances as he passes to and fro.

“There!” he says at last, smacking the side of the washtub. He sets the empty bucket down and plops onto the floor beside Lan Wangji, huffing and puffing dramatically. Their shoulders brush.

“That little guy really likes you,” Wei Wuxian says after a moment’s pause. “I think he might like you even more than me. After I fed him all those carrots, too! Hmph. So ungrateful.”

Wei Wuxian tugs on the rabbit’s whiskers, making a face. Lan Wangji hesitates. Does Wei Wuxian covet the rabbit? Perhaps these creatures are of some great significance to humans. Jiang Yanli’s suitor did bring them as gifts, after all. Lan Wangji may have been greedy, keeping it to himself for too long. Hesitantly, Lan Wangji leans forward. Wei Wuxian’s face goes momentarily blank with surprise, hands instinctively raising to take the rabbit as Lan Wangji passes it over to him. Lan Wangji then sits back, watching Wei Wuxian’s face carefully for a reaction. A moment passes, and then Wei Wuxian snorts. His face is amused, like Lan Wangji has just told a funny but particularly ridiculous joke.

“Er, thanks, fish brother. You’re very thoughtful.”

Lan Wangji gazes upon Wei Wuxian’s smile just a fraction longer than necessary before dropping his eyes back down to the rabbit. Thankfully Wei Wuxian doesn’t seem to notice. He’s already talking again.

“Do you like animals, fish brother? If so, I can bring the rabbit to visit you again tomorrow. Although maybe I shouldn’t. If I do that, he might start to get attached, and then he’ll be sad once you’re gone. He’ll probably stop eating. That’d be no good. If he stops eating, he’ll get too thin, and then he won’t be as tasty.”

Lan Wangji’s eyes snap back to Wei Wuxian’s face in shock. The mischievous twinkle in Wei Wuxian’s eye brightens.

“This guy is gonna make a really good rabbit stew. Do you want to try it, fish brother? I’ll tell shijie to make it tomorrow so you can--”

“No!"

Wei Wuxian nearly drops the rabbit. Lan Wangji freezes. His voice sounds strange to his own ears after so many days of disuse. He swallows thickly, afraid to look at Wei Wuxian but also afraid to look away. The room fills with the chirps of crickets and the lapping of distant lake water.

Wei Wuxian bursts out laughing.

“Seriously?!” he croaks. “You could understand me all this time? Fish brother! Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

Lan Wangji averts his gaze. “You wouldn’t stop talking.”

Wei Wuxian snorts.

The conversation that follows lasts long into the night. Wei Wuxian wants to know everything about Lan Wangji.

"What's your name?"

For some reason, he does not want to reveal his courtesy name. "Lan Zhan."

"So your surname is Lan? Is your family big? Are there a lot of Lans?"

" . . . Yes."

"Hmm. I thought so. With your sword and guqin, there's no way you didn't come from some fancy cultivation clan. So . . ." Wei Wuxian scoots closer. Both he and the rabbit stare fixedly back at Lan Wangji. "Is your home far from here? Do you live in the lake? It's the lake isn't it? I always knew there was something strange about Yunmeng Lake! Are there a lot of you? How many?"

Lan Wangji frowns. Sighing, Wei Wuxian relents.

"It's a secret? Fine, I get it, I get it." He tugs on the rabbit's ear. It wiggles fiercely against his chest, trying to escape. "Oh! Fish broth-- I mean, Lan Zhan. Is it true that your kind weaves jiao xiao sha? Is that how your robe always stays dry?"

This seems like a harmless enough question. Lan Wangji gives a curt nod. "Mn."

"Wow . . ." Wei Wuxian fingers the edge of Lan Wangji's sleeve with his free hand. Lan Wangji's entire arm starts to tingle. Wei Wuxian must notice him bristle, because he lets go, his broad, goofy grin somewhat apologetic.

"So the legend is true," he says thoughtfully. "Y'know, a guy lost a bet to me one time. He didn't have any money, but he said he could give me a cloak made of jiao xiao sha. But when it rained, that thing got soaked! It had a nice color, though, so I gave it to shijie." He bounces the rabbit on his lap, considering. "Ah! What about the other legends, like being able to transform? I thought jiaoren could disguise themselves as people so they could walk on land."

Lan Wangji looks away. "Some do."

" . . . But not you?"

"It is an arduous process. One must learn3."

"Then you should hurry up and learn! That way, you can come back to visit, and I can show you the world outside of this shed. I'll take you to the training grounds--we can even spar, haha. I'll show you other animals too, like horses, and cats. No dogs though."

"What are dogs?"

"Er, not important, don't worry about it. But Lan Zhan, I'll take you to all the best places to eat, too! There's so much good food in the human world, you won't be able to stand up after we try it all."

"To transform and enter the human world, one must first receive permission."

Wei Wuxian scowls. "Whatever. Just sneak out. We'll have so much fun, it'll be worth it, I promise!"

Lan Wangji's voice is firm. "No. This is one of the Lan sect's three thousand rules."

"Three--three thousand?!" Wei Wuxian stammers. "How is that even possible?"

Lan Wangji doesn't understand his surprise. "Do human cultivation sects not have rules?"

"Well yeah, but not three thousand of them. Lan Zhan, you must have lived a sheltered life so far. You really, really need to come back to Lotus Pier one day. I'll show you the better things in life."

Lan Wangji tries to imagine himself in a human body, exploring alongside Wei Wuxian. His chest aches for it.

"Not interested," he says.

There's a spark of genuine hurt in Wei Wuxian's disgruntled face. He leans back slightly, poking at the rabbit's chubby cheeks.

"Fine. You're definitely missing out, though! I could introduce you to some really pretty girls. If you think jiaoren girls are beautiful, just wait until you see human ones! Especially the girls in Yunmeng, haha. We have the prettiest and handsomest people of all."

"Ridiculous," Lan Wangji grits out.

"Eh? Why?" Wei Wuxian bats his eyelashes. "Aren't I good looking?"

Words tangle in Lan Wangji's throat. He glares, the muscles in his face growing tighter and tighter. Wei Wuxian drops the act. He laughs, nose wrinkling in a way that reminds Lan Wangji of the rabbit.

'Cute,' Lan Wangji realizes, and the revelation leaves him breathless.

Wei Wuxian’s questions are infinite. He asks about Lan Wangji's family--"uncle and brother"--but is kind enough to refrain from prying after his parents. He wants to know what the food is like, and each time Lan Wangji describes a dish--"reeds and raw salmon, snails boiled with fungus"--he exclaims how much he wants to try it.

"Even though it sounds a little bland," he admits. "Don't worry. I'll give you spices to take home. But, Lan Zhan--is it really true that you guys eat humans?”

For some reason this question stings. “Don’t be absurd.”

Wei Wuxian shrugs. “That’s just what I heard some people say--that jiaoren eat humans4. So it’s not true?”

“ . . . I don’t know,” Lan Wangji admits grudgingly. “Perhaps some do.”

“But not your sect?”

“No.”

Wei Wuxian’s grin brightens. “Ha! I knew it. Jiang Cheng was wrong.”

He asks more about Lan Wangji's home--what it's called, what it looks like. He closes his eyes as Lan Wangji describes the white limestone walls, the schools of carp glinting through forests of long, wavering lotus stems. He doesn’t mention the tunnels, or the caves and springs hidden beneath the bottom of the lake. These are secrets that must be guarded.

“Sounds really nice,” Wei Wuxian whispers. “What about the girls? Are they pretty? Haha, don’t look so angry. I’m only teasing.”

He of course also asks about cultivation methods. Lan Wangji is less recalcitrant on this topic. It is, after all, possible to give Wei Wuxian some basic information without revealing the Lan sect’s methodology.

“Qin,” he says. “And blade.”

“So your guqin is a spiritual weapon!” Wei Wuxian realizes. “Is that why it won’t make any sound when I play it? Does it have to be played by you?”

“No.”

"Oh." Wei Wuxian is crestfallen. "So it is broken."

"It can be played," Lan Wangji says, after a brief spell of deliberation. "But only underwater."

He looks up and holds Wei Wuxian's gaze. The silence between them is somber. Wei Wuxian's eyes flicker toward his tail. The gash in the fin is now a jagged patch of rough, newly woven flesh. He gives Lan Wangji a sad smile.

"If I take you back to the lake, will you play for me?"

¤¤¤¤¤¤

Lan Wangji watches as the faint lights of Lotus Pier recede with the shore. On the boat, a lantern hangs from a pole, illuminating the lake's rippling surface. They pass clusters of water hyacinths and water lilies. Wei Wuxian plucks a blossom and tucks it behind Lan Wangji's ear. Face twisted, Lan Wangji flings it into the bottom of the boat. Wei Wuxian responds with raucous laughter.

Occasionally they stop to pick lotus pods. Wei Wuxian eats the seeds slowly, lingering as if on purpose, until the barest edges of the horizon glow a pale, pre-dawn grey.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji murmurs.

Wei Wuxian pauses mid-chew. Resigned, he drops the lotus pod and lifts the oar. He rows with the grace and assurance of one who knows these waters.

"'Vast sea, bright moon,'" he bellows suddenly. "'The pearl has tears5.' Lan Zhan, don't cry too much if you miss me. You shouldn't waste your pearls."

Wei Wuxian has been rowing for some time when Lan Wangji finally speaks.

"Stop."

Wei Wuxian complies. Without further ado, Lan Wangji plunges over the side of the boat and into the water.

The boat rocks violently in his wake. Wei Wuxian grips the side, bewildered. A second passes, and then Lan Wangji reemerges a good distance away. Wei Wuxian's face relaxes. Lan Wangji dives underwater, hardly leaving a ripple behind as he swims back over to the boat, his tail like a long, white ribbon waving in the current.

"Ok, ok. I can see you're a fast swimmer," Wei Wuxian chides. "You don't have to show-off. Does it feel that good to be back in the water?"

"Mn."

Wei Wuxian clucks his tongue. Standing, he undoes his belt.

Lan Wangji's eyes sharpen. "What are you doing?"

He drops the belt. "What does it look like I'm doing?" Then the outer robes. "I'm undressing."

"Why?!" Lan Wangji demands, frantic. Wei Wuxian yanks off his boots with a wink. Lan Wangji is momentarily distracted by the sight of his fins. Except they’re not fins after all. They’re something stranger, flat and rectangular and confusing.

"Because not all of us have clothes made of jiao xiao sha,” Wei Wuxian answers. He slips one arm out of his undergarments, and Lan Wangji's stomach cramps like he's about to be sick. He turns away just in time.

The splash behind him shatters the night. Moments later, a spluttering Wei Wuxian pops his head out of the water. He grins cheekily.

Lan Wangji has heard of humans who can swim, but he has never seen it. He observes closely as Wei Wuxian’s legs and strange flins flash beneath the surface. He paddles over easily, eyes never once leaving Lan Wangji’s face.

“See?” he grins. “I can swim well too. Wanna race?”

“Qin,” Lan Wangji says simply.

Wei Wuxian’s mouth puckers in a pout, but he swims back to the boat obediently. He returns with a qiankun pouch. Lan Wangji reaches into the pouch and retrieves his guqin. It is cool and solid in his hands.

He has missed this.

“What song will you play?” Wei Wuxian asks. “A cultivation song? A folk song?”

“Listen and learn,” Lan Wangji replies, and he ducks beneath the surface.

It is refreshing to move with such ease again, to have the firm support of water against his body. Wangji, always obedient, follows his movements, sinking until it is at the level of his waste and staying there. Lan Wangji’s fingers hover over the strings. What shall he play?

As he deliberates, Wei Wuxian descends in front of him. His arms and legs look especially ridiculous treading water, and his hair floats wildly around his face. Not to mention his cheeks are puffed out as he holds in his breath. Lan Wangji hopes he can always remember this ridiculous man who has cared for him so diligently. This man whose bare chest and toned, tiny waist are bared so brazenly now before him.

Lan Wangji catches himself and drops his eyes to the guqin. He needs to still his mind. He knows exactly what song to play.

The first note is a focused ray of soft blue light. Wei Wuxian’s eyes widen, following it as it pierces through the water past him. It is followed by the next note, a falling glow that diffuses around Wei Wuxian and lingers, sparkling. Sleeves billowing, Lan Wangji illuminates the depths of Yunmeng Lake with music and light, with the words of gratitude he will never be able to say. He plays his song to Wei Wuxian, and to Wei Wuxian alone.

When Lan Wangji strikes the final chord, Wei Wuxian’s lips part, releasing small air bubbles. His eyes crinkle in a smile. Then the lids grow heavy. Lan Wangji releases the guqin and seizes Wei Wuxian’s arm just as his body starts to go limp. Pulling Wei Wuxian against him, he swims to the surface.

Wei Wuxian moans slightly as the air hits his face. His head rolls onto Lan Wangji’s shoulder.

“Lan Zhan,” he mumbles. “That song . . . What was it?”

“Rest,” Lan Wangji says, which is partly true. It just happens to be a particular variation that induces drowsiness.

“Ah,” Wei Wuxian answers quietly. “It’s nice. I like it.” He yawns, then frowns. “But suddenly I feel so tired . . .”

Lan Wangji watches as Wei Wuxian’s head continues to droop, and his eyes finally slip shut. His breath is even and warm against the crook of Lan Wangji’s neck.

“Goodnight, Wei Ying.”

¤¤¤¤¤¤

When Wei Wuxian wakes, it’s to a sapphire, cloud-dappled sky.

He blinks around himself, confused. He’s in a boat--the same boat from last night. He raises his head, peering out to see the familiar sight of Lotus Pier. Frowning, he pushes himself up into a sitting position with a grimace. There’s a sharp crook in his neck. He raises his arm to stretch when something falls from his shoulders. He glances down. It’s a white robe, one that is hauntingly familiar.

Wei Wuxian’s eyes go round. He leans over the side of the boat, glancing anxiously around the water.

“Lan Zhan?” he whispers.

He stares into the lake, as if waiting for it to answer. After a moment he leans back, heaves a bitter laugh.

“That trickster,” he mutters. He lets his gaze wander across the dock, amongst the pink and white clusters of lotus flowers. Sighing, he lays back again and stares up at the sky.

“We probably won’t ever have the chance to meet again,” he thinks aloud. “Right?”

¤¤¤¤¤¤

The sacking of Lotus Pier rocks the cultivation world. In one night, the familiar emblems of the Jiang sect disappear, replaced by red flags with golden suns. Yunmeng, once known for its lively atmosphere and bustling markets, goes silent. Civilians hurry through the streets with their heads down and their lips sealed.

However, eyes are reluctantly drawn to the appearance of an elegant young man. He is slender and robed in white, with noble features. Bystanders speculate that he is from some distant cultivation sect unassociated with the Wens. Since times are strange, they make sure to avoid him.

Weary of the stares, the man enters a teahouse. He sips from his cup, unobtrusive despite his remarkable features. As he drinks, he can’t help but pick up on the conversation from a nearby table.

“My wife’s brother was on duty that night. Her family couldn’t even recover his ashes.”

“It’s barbarism, that’s what it is. The Jiang clan always conducted themselves like true heroes. How dare the Wen clan--”

“Sh! Do you wanna die?”

Silence falls. After a few moments, the first man continues speaking. His voice is incredibly low.

“I heard Jiang Wanyin joined up with the Nie sect in Hejian. I wonder if they stand a chance.”

“If anyone does, it’d be those two. Although it’d be great if Wei Wuxian was with them.”

“Hmph. Who knows where that one is? Probably at the bottom of a ditch.”

The cultivator, who until this point has listened without expression, stills. His jaw clenches and his grip tightens around the teacup.

“Well I don’t believe it! Wei Wuxian was the rising star of the Jiang sect. I think he’s working in the shadows. He’ll definitely reappear.”

“You’re too optimistic. By the way, did you hear about the strange things happening at the Yiling burial mounds? They say that fierce corpses are . . .”

The cultivator drains his cup. He sets a few coins on the table and exits the tea house.

Lan Wangji knows that he should immediately return to Yunmeng Lake. He has already obtained the goods requested by his uncle. But Lan Wangji does not return. Instead he wanders the streets without purpose. The vendors and salesmen shrink as he passes by, although a few are bold enough to try and show-off their goods. A young woman selling steamed buns flashes him a winning smile.

“Young lord, would you like a taste?”

The scent of a meat Lan Wangji now knows is called pork tickles his throat. Words, unbidden, rise to mind:

I can show you the world outside of this shed. I'll take you to the training grounds--we can even spar, haha . . . I'll take you to all the best places to eat, too! There's so much good food in the human world, you won't be able to stand up after we try it all . . .

Lan Wangji pulls out his qiankun pouch—the same pouch that Wei Wuxian once gave him to hold Bichen and his guqin when Lan Wangji returned to Yunmeng Lake, all those months ago. Lan Wangji takes out a coin and purchases two buns. Then, with great difficulty, he meets the woman’s gaze.

“Which way to Hejian?”

FIN

NOTES:

1. This is me making stuff up for conflict and world-building purposes. It has nothing to do with the actual myth. No disrespect meant. I also want to mention that it sounds like jiaoren live in the sea, not in freshwater. But. I wanted him to live in Yumeng lake, so. Yeah.

2. These are actual parts of the jiaoren myth. The links below have more information. The Sun Jiahui link does have a story about a jiaoren who lived with humans and made cloth. However, if you read the link you will see that she didn't live in captivity and that she seemed to harbor affection for the family. So again, my story does not really line up with the traditional myth and I encourage you to read into it if you really want to know more.

Li Hongrui (2016). Mermaids in Chinese fairytales.

Sun Jiahui (2015). The Chinese Mermaid.

3. I'm back on my bullshit, making stuff up again. Who knows. Don't take my word for it.

4. Who is the person that said it? Me, when I was making stuff up to start drama. This is not part of the traditional lore.

5. This is from Li Shangyin's poem Jin Se, which is often translated as Brocade Zither. I didn't want to quote an official translation so I just kind of slapped this together using a dictionary and google translate, yeah I know it's an eyesore. But . . . I recommend you read some REAL translations of it by scholars who actually speak Chinese and know about poetry. The various translations are vastly, vastly different but there are some Wangxian feels buried there in my opinion. I recommend the following links. Either way, it sounds like some of the translations connect the tears and pearls to the jiaoren legend. Others not so much.

Translation and from Now Where Was I? A Buddhist Blog.

Translation and analysis from Dalriada Books Ltd.

Pengfei Wang (2018). English Metaphysical and Mid-Late Tang Poetry: A Baroque Comparison. This includes in-depth discussion of the poet and various translations of the poem on pages 102-109.

#wangxian #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #cql #mdzs #fanfic #my stuff #abuse tw #alcohol tw

52 notes · View notes

shiigetsu · 4 years

Text

𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑, 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑, 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐖 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃. 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐈𝐄 𝐁𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃. INDIE/PRI/SEL/OC/DUPLICATE AND CROSSOVER FRIENDLY WITH CANON DIVERGENT INJECTIONS LORD SESSHŌMARU of the INUYASHA/FEUDAL FAIRYTALE franchise / as told by osiris. THIS IS AN ANTI HATE/THEFT/DRAMA ZONE! I'VE NOT THE PATIENCE TO DEAL WITH IGNORANCE, CONSIDER THIS YOUR FIRST AND FINAL WARNING!

this blog does not adhere to yashahime: princess half demon canon.

o1. following and interacting; i absolutely welcome crossovers and heavily encourage them however i might prioritize canon interactions. given the impossibility to interact with everyone in existence i generally do not strictly follow-for-follow. in effort to maintain a clean and focused dash i primarily follow/follow back those whom i intend to interact with or see a great possibility in doing so.

o2. nsfw/blog content/shipping; i am of age and so is sesshomaru. as a preference i do prefer darker themes myself however i will never impose my preferences on others nor will i attempt any sort of interaction that makes others uncomfortable.

* on terms of shipping you will attempt to do such with this one on the bounds of chemistry and character building or none such will come of it at all. * considering sesshomaru and his given stance with others is not exactly likable by any means and his innately wary/hateful stance towards humans as a whole is something he is working through do not expect him to fall in love with you. at least not immediately. * sesshomaru is an incredibly tough partner. as such any ship with him regardless of development or plotting will be difficult. should you wish for something wholesome and worthwhile aim for longevity. i promise genuine effort is met with reward. smut will only happen with established ship/partners. no exceptions.. * we must be developed/established shipping partners before i will even consider this. if first time ruts and/or casual flings are what you seek here then this is not the place for you. shipping will only be considered with prior established interactions and ooc interaction. i wish to know the person behind the muse i am to potentially be shipping with and so should you. this blog is multi ship and every ship will take place within it's own individual verse so as to prevent ship crossing and alluding to the unfairness of others. no ship takes precedence over others, they are all considered of equal importance and will be treated as such.

i absolutely will not smut with minors. pedophilia, noncon/rape and/or intimate relations with minors is intolerable. ships with minors/muses who are minors are not accepted. instances of any such content will result in a block and report on sight. do not test me. given their prior relations and the controversy vs age gap with sesshomaru and rin i do not ship sesshrin romantically. thus, he will treat her as an adoptive daughter.

o3. replies/ooc; whatsoever i post shall come on my own time. i have a strict and demanding lifestyle outside of the internet and thus i am not on tumblr every day. a majority of the time my blog will always run on queue to keep activity fairly consistent. i will space my posts accordingly so you might only see one to two replies every other day. do not hassle me for replies, expect me to reply simply because you see me on or guilt me. if i’ve taken longer than week to get back to you then you are privy to nudging me. if you insist on reaching me quicker my dms are always open and i am more than happy to provide my discord for further offsite plotting, ooc banter or offsite roleplaying as well. do not abuse this.

o4. please do; plot with me! consult with me in dms! send random asks! tag me in all the things! feel free to turn asks into threads! memes in my meme dump are always open.

o5. please don’t; god mod or metagame! have your character assume or know specific things about mine that they simply shouldn’t unless specified in canon material! reblog any rp posts that do not pertain to you! steal my headcanons! start drama! harass others! should you prove to be problematic or toxic in any way i will cut you out without warning.

on another note -- i do not send passwords but i make it a habit to read about/rules before i so much as follow/follow back. disclaimer wise i do not own sesshomaru or inuyasha/anything in direct relation. i do own my particular rendition and headcanons/meta of sesshomaru however so in this i will not ask that you do not steal; i will simply tell you not to do so. respect others if you wish to garner the same respect. all graphics and written meta on this blog specifically belong to me. if i see any such instance of theft ( not including my own material but from others as well ) this will also result in an immediate block. i have no patience for stupidity resulting in the immediate lack of common sense. be wise.

in closing, please keep in mind that sesshomaru is first considered an antagonist turned anti-hero. he is neither the most approchable or tolerable. that said his persona and morales/compass do not reflect upon my own. his character is a foundry of possible triggers that may include and are not entirely limited to: violence/gore/abuse/torture and sensitive material pertaining to war. if you have any concerns be up front about them. in terms of portrayal sesshomaru will take bits from japanese culture/historia and the chinese philosopher lao-tzu as well as my own individual take on his abilities. do remember he remains at all powerful large and wandering unless verse specified. do not provoke or tempt his ire unless you are fully prepared to suffer the consequences. he is prone to killing should your muse prove an intentional nuisance or intend to stand in his way by any means. in the event he intends to kill your muse/your muse wishes to combat/attempt to kill him i ask that we discuss it first. he will not hold back nor will i hold him back as a character. thank you for reading! let’s have fun, shall we?

discord available to mutuals upon request!

#( *𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓; ) / blog psa && pinned.#;readme.

10 notes · View notes

canonicallysoulmates · 4 years

Note

Hi. Hope you're doing well. Can I ask you to give me a run down on the whole Louis and Harry situation? I listened to their music on and off but never followed their personal lives (other than the highly publicized thing with TS). But the situation, from what I gathered, seems... Interesting. What are the theories here? Hope it's not too much trouble. Thanks.

Hi, anon!

Sorry, it's taken me so long to reply to you but I wanted to find and provide some links with more information on the things I will be mentioning.

Now I'm going to do my best to give a quick rundown of Louis and Harry's history touching upon some of the bigger theories but Larry is a lot, it's multiple theories and years of history and multiple things seemingly happening at once like doing the research for this I fell down this hole all over again because there's just so much so this turned bigger than I was planning but let's get into this...

For those that don't know Louis and Harry are singer-songwriters that started their careers as members of the group One Direction. From pretty early on in the conception of the band fans noticed the close relationship between Louis and Harry and it wasn't too long before tumblr gave them a couple name: Larry Stylinson.

Now, all 5 boys were close and got along well but Larry was magical to look at:

And what at first was a tumblr/fandom thing kept growing to the point it left fandom in a way I'd never seen before and have yet to see again with a lot of focus being put on Larries (people who believe in larry) themselves with articles being written about the theories and those who believe in them in an often mocking way; Larries were turned into villains, mocked and painted as silly little fangirls by the fandom and the media, and to this day we are still looked upon that way by those in and outside the fandom (and even by those who were once larries but that's a convo for another day).

Point is Larry grew and theories are aplenty, so let's look at some of them…

Theory #1: Louis and Harry are/were romantically involved and made to hide their relationship by management.

As I said, there's a lot of theories surrounding these two but this is I'd say the original one, the biggest one, and the one a lot of other theories come back to; I don't know when speculation about the boys' sexuality and their relationship started but it has been going on for years to the point, as I said, that it left the fandom.

The theory is self-explanatory: Harry and Louis have been together since their X Factor days but made to hide their relationship by their management for years, and all the girlfriends they have had publicly have been beards including Miss TS herself. (As a bonus fact, that made a lot of people in this fandom dislike her, and some think it’s because of Larry or because she was dating Harry, no it’s because she shaded him multiple times.)

You probably noticed that I said "are/were", the reason for that is that there are some larries (are you still a larrie if you think they've broken up?) that believe Louis and Harry were together but have since broken up. That's not the case with all larries since there are also plenty who believe they are still together, and some who even think they got married in 2013, I'll talk about that a little bit more later on, for now, let's go back to the early years and some of the things that made people believe in this love story:

This is not in chronological order by the way.

Other than the heart eyes, soft touches, and overall fondness displayed towards each other by both boys there was…

That time in a radio interview when the boys were asked about girlfriends or boyfriends and Harry said Louis’ boyfriend and management were heard saying to take that bit out. Now there is some debate about whether Harry said Louis’ boyfriend or we're all each other's boyfriends so I suggest taking a close listen.

Harry saying his first real crush was Louis and that it was mutual.

The autograph signing where a fan asked Harry if he and Louis were dating and he said yes.

The AIMH tweet:

Louis being asked if he does romantic things for his partner and answering he once cooked a chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham (a dish he mentions often) but he's also said in the past he's only cooked one proper meal and his first cooking experience was with Harry.

You can also check these timelines from the early years for more examples and cute gifs and photos: Larry 2010 timeline, September - October 2011 timeline.

Those are just some of the reasons people believe in Larry, it's not even the tip of the iceberg; I'll be talking about the tattoos and song lyrics in just a minute but before we move on to the next theory I do want to add what happened with Larry in the public eye.

Those familiar with my blog know about separate narratives well Larry didn't get a separate narrative they got an "enemies" narrative. When the rumors got too big about them they got shoved farther into the closet, they rarely interacted, they weren't seen together and rumors were spread through managements favorite gossip newspapers that they were feuding and hated each other.

And to this day some fans and solo stans claim this to be true even though Louis has complimented Harry on his solo music, said he’s proud of Harry work in the movie Dunkirk, said in an interview that Harry messaged him congrats when he released his single:

and Harry follows a bunch Larry accs and Louis fan accs on twitter.

Theory #2: Complementary tattoos.

Also, called matching tattoos by some but they're actually more complimentary not matching but anyways this is another reason why some believe in Larry, it technically falls under fact but for this answer, I'm going to present it as a theory simply because neither of the boys has outright confirmed that their tattoos are meant to complement each other.

Harry and Louis have several complimentary tattoos there's the famous rose(Harry) and dagger(Louis):

The Ship(Harry)and Compass(Louis):

The Oops(Louis) and Hi(Harry) (this one has a more personal significance as there’s a theory that those were the first words the boys said to each other):

The Rope(Louis) and Anchor(Harry):

Masterpost of Louis and Harry’s tattoos.

Theory #3. RBB and SBB

This one is harder to explain, and as far as I know, it's still a fandom mystery.

It all starts when at some point during the boys' Where We Are tour a fan throws a rainbow teddy bear on stage. Someone kept the bear, put some tape on it to make it into bondage bear and the bear got a twitter account. Yes, the stuffed bear got a twitter account, I know it sounds insane but it's a thing that actually happened. At first, it's just silly fun with the bear appearing on tour and tweeting, at some point the bear gets named Rainbow Bondage Bear or RBB by the fans, then the bears twitter acc gets suspended and he is not seen again.

The boys start a new tour, their last tour, the On the Road Again Tour.

The boys are back on the road and so is RBB! Once again, at first, everything is silly fun with the bear appearing on stage when one day out of the blue….a second bear! A small one. This second bear gets labeled Sugar Baby Bear or SBB. The bears are always together, the costumes get more elaborate, the boys don't acknowledge them, and the fans have no clue who is behind it all.

Then things get weird…er, the bears start posing with props including books like a biography of someone coming to terms with their sexuality.

And remember how I said some fans theorize Harry and Louis got married back in 2013? Well, on September 24th the bears appear as always on stage, this time dressed in wedding outfits in front of a signed picture of a man named Larry. On the 29th Harry tweets:

The theory is that Harry and Louis got married on September 28th, 2013.

The number 28 does seem to have a lot of significance for the boys with Louis even having it tattooed on his body.

And there was that recent "Louis Styles" moment from Roman Kemp who is from my understanding friends with Harry. And after that happened Christian Saad who Louis follows tweeted (and later deleted):

And liked:

Make of that what you will.

Back to the bears...after that things get even weirder, the bears get security, they get another twitter account, they keep posing with props, things get more and more elaborate and none of the boys acknowledge it. At one point the boys are set to appear on Kimmel and a really mocking potato bit is done which offends fans, that same night RBB and SBB post a picture looking as angry as two stuffed bears can be next to a box of mashed potatoes.

When the boys are finally asked about the bears all of them immediately look at Louis - and I just have to say Niall's reaction will never not make me laugh - and when he says nothing Harry says he believes it was the crew, and the boys act like they have no idea what is being talked about.

The theory is that Harry and Louis were behind RBB and SBB and were using the bears as a way to communicate with fans.

RBB & SBB masterpost

Theory #4: Song Lyrics.

Okay, last theory we will be discussing on this ask. I hope you’re still with me on this way longer than intended post.

As I said in the beginning, both boys are songwriters and it is theorized that both have written songs about each other and their relationship. There are parallels in their lyrics and Music Videos* (*Walls and Lights Up also have similar themes song-wise.)

Among the songs that are said to be about each other is Habit from Louis first album Walls, which contains the lyric:

“come so far from princess park”

And Sweet Creature from Harry’s first album:

“And, oh, we started Two hearts in one home”

The lyrics I highlighted are significant because Harry and Louis lived together in Princess Park Manor.

And if you take a close look at the lyrics both songs also have similar themes, with both being about a relationship that has its struggles but they’re both still deeply in love with the person.

Now Harry was actually asked in an interview if Sweet Creature was about Louis and after stumbling a bit he eventually answered that he didn’t want to tell anyone that they’re wrong on what they’re feeling about a song even if they’re not necessarily right but he thinks if you really listen to the lyrics you can work out whether it’s about that or not and he leans towards no.

It’s pretty funny to hear him stumble around for an answer that could have been answered with a simple yes or no.

A funny comparison that was often done is that in another interview Harry was asked about another one of his songs, ‘Two Ghost’ and if it was about TS because it was rumored on the media that it was; he tries to dodge the question at first but when the radio host introduces the song as the one about TS Harry screams out and shouts ‘NO!’.

Something to note is that Harry’s stumbled through answer on whether or not Sweet Creature is about Louis is presented in the media as Harry flat out squashing those rumors, while Harry’s scream of ‘no’ during his Two Ghost question is ignored with the media focusing instead on him saying that it’s self-explanatory, with some acting like its confirmation and some even writing articles about all the TS hints in the lyrics.

And there you have it anon a not so quick rundown of Harry and Louis that doesn't even cover the tip of the iceberg and some of the bigger theories surrounding them. I hope you found this informative and that is answered your question!

One last Larry gif for the road (this one’s one of my favs) 💙💚

#larry stylinson #larries #larrie #larry #anon #ask #i'm more used to talking about j2 so this was different #annianvi #in case you want to read about another believed to be closeted relationship #tinhat things #non spn #Anonymous

24 notes · View notes

darlingsdontdie · 4 years

Text

New Yandere, Whump, and Dark Shipping Blog: Requests FAQ

Hey! So before I start writing and creating, I thought I'd get some common questions answered and out of the way! If you are concerned about your request or are unsure of its content, please first check this post before directly messaging me.

Request Content

Q: What kinds of requests do you fill?

A: I will fill almost any type of request! But here are some specific options with set structures and examples.

Headcanon Requests (bulleted, length depending on ask, ex: "Can I get headcanons for Requested Character with a short girlfriend?")

Scenario Requests (bulleted, LDOA, ex: "Can I get a scenario for if Requested Ship were getting married?")

Drabble Requests (prose, LDOA, ex: "Can I request a drabble about RC being worried when their darling is sick?")

Playlist Requests (list of songs, 1-5 song limit, ex: "Do you have 4 songs for a jealous RC?")

Graphic Requests (edit style, 1-4 images, ex: "Could you make a graphic for yandere RC with this item or quote?")

Aesthetic Requests (moodboard style, image with 6-9 sections, ex: "Can I get an aesthetic for dark!RS?")

Prompt Requests (list of brainstormed dialogue and short sentences, LDOA, ex: "Do you have dialogue prompts for RC kidnapping their darling?")

Plot Bunny Requests (short prose paragraphs or bulleted, LDOA, ex: "I want to write about yandere RC surprising their darling but don't know how or why. Are there are any plot bunnies you can give me?").

New! RP Idea Requests (selection of 1-4 short rp-style bios/plots/starters, LDOA, ex: "Do you have any yandere rp ideas for Requested Fandom ocs?")

New! Fancast Requests (moodboard or edit style, 2-9 images per RC/RS, ex: "Who would you cast as yandere RC(s)?")

New! Faceclaim Recommendation Requests (bulleted list of names with short explanations or reasons, LDOA, ex: "My yandere OC is tall, has dark hair, and soft features. He acts friendly but is the violent type. Can I have a few fcs?")

Requests that don't specify will be answered with a bulleted list or possibly a short paragraph. There may be times I'm willing to fill some requests but not others due to time constraints, but that doesn't mean I won't ever fill them!

Fandom requests involving AUs and crossovers are welcome (ex: "Headcanons of how yandere Naruto in a wild west AU?" or "Headcanons about what would happen if yandere Ten and yandere Crowley fell for the same person?"), as are original requests based on existing media (ex: "Can I get headcanons about a popular girl type who has a Breakfast Club experience and ends up going yandere for the criminal?" or "Can you write a drabble about a yandere whose story is like this music video?").

Q: What characters do you write for?

A: I'll write for any character that I am familiar with, with a few exceptions for characters I'm aware of but uncomfortable with. To get started, here's a list of fandoms that I have a solid handle on!

Anime (Naruto, Ouran High School Host Club, Death Note, Hetalia, etc.)

Western Animation (Archer, Castlevania, She-Ra: Princesses of Power, etc.)

DC and Marvel Comics

Star Wars (no New Trilogy - Originals, Prequels, Clone Wars, & Legends only)

Other Major Film Franchises (Pirates of the Caribbean, the MCU, James Bond, etc.)

Harry Potter and related properties

Percy Jackson and related properties

Hunger Games and related properties

Twilight and related properties

A Song of Ice and Fire (willing to try TV canon but much more familiar with Book canon)

Crime Dramas (Barry, Good Girls, Hannibal, Mr. Robot, Revenge, etc.)

Historical Drama (Vikings, The Tudors, Les Miserables, The Borgias, Downton Abbey, Peaky Blinders, Taboo, etc.)

Science Fiction and Fantasy TV/Lit (Star Trek TOS/AOS; Doctor Who, New Who only; Merlin; Good Omens; Lucifer; Galavant, etc.)

Horror-Thriller TV/Lit (American Horror Story, The Haunting of Hill House, Hemlock Grove, Alias Grace, etc.)

Sitcoms (familiar with Friends, all the Michael Schur products, Community, That 70s Show, Jane the Virgin, Schitt's Creek, Superstore, IASIP, and others)

Teen Dramas (Teen Wolf, Pretty Little Liars, Freaks and Geeks, Glee, etc., but no Riverdale)

Chinese and Korean Dramas (A Korean Odyssey/Hwayugi, Meteor Gardens, A Love So Beautiful, What's Wrong With Secretary Kim, Romance Is a Bonus Book, My First First Love, Black, etc.)

Video Games (Assasain's Creed, Portal 2, Fire Emblem, AFK Arena, Professor Layton, etc.)

Something that's not here can still be requested - I'm familiar with a lot of media and do my best to keep up.

As I implied above, I am also happy to write for original characters. Whether that means you telling me about your own OCs, or me creating my own characters for you down the line, either is great.

I will NOT be writing RPF or RPS. I do not approve of real person shipping and real person fiction makes me uncomfortable - if that's what you're looking for, there are a huge number of other blogs that will cater to your needs directly. Which leads me into...

Prohibited Requests, and Non-Yandere Content

Q: Will you fill every request you get?

A: I'll fill requests that interest me and that I feel comfortable posting, and that will probably be most of them! I am really excited to get started. But I still reserve the right to refuse a prompt - I'm writing for free, so no one is entitled to have their ask filled. If I choose to deny your prompt, I will answer privately and, if the issue is with content, update the blog so it's made clear that the type of prompt is not taken.

Q: What is and isn't allowed to be requested?

A: To be honest, most stuff is allowed and some stuff isn't. There's a lot of ground to cover here, so I've divided it based on the nature of the concern.

Q: Do you accept NSFW/SFW requests?

A: I'll do NS and SFW work, but I've got more experience with SFW content. This doesn't mean I do it exclusively, just that I won't think to go NS unless you mention it. Specify for NS and it'll be included happily!

Q: Do you accept violent requests?

Violence against non-SO characters and dub-con is okay always, as is situational or over-the-top violence, even murder, involving SOs (ex: "the yandere and their darling are soldiers on opposite sides of the war" or "the yandere saws off their darling's legs so they have to carry them everywhere").

However, there is some tricky area with violent fantasies. If I think the content strays too close to serious physical domestic abuse, then I'll likely deny the request. This is partially why I prefer requests that get violent to focus on non-SO targets, so if it doesn't matter to you, that's almost guaranteed to get a response.

Non-con I can mention and discuss in headcanon posts and possibly prompt lists, but I will not be writing drabbles or scenarios for non-con prompts.

Q: Do you accept kink requests?

A: It will depend on the type and whether I feel morally and psychologically comfortable with it. For example, hypnosis, size kink, gender stuffing, BDSM, roleplay, etc., are all currently accepted because they don't seem to affect me in a negative way. I am willing to do ships for cousins and step family, as well. However, I will not under any circumstances deal with r*ceplay, p*dophilia, fetishizing of trans people or people of color, or inc*stplay, and I will not be doing ship work for anyone more closely related than cousins, including but not limited to siblings, parents (blood or adopted), or aunts and uncles. None of this is negotiable. I am willing to consider AUs where two characters aren't family, or non romantic yandere behavior between family, but even then, the request's on thin ice. Anything super unhygienic or illness related is probably something I won't be interested in not as a rule or for moral reasons but just because it can exacerbate my anxiety and OCD. I also do not fill prompts related to minors at all, be it explicit/adult/sexual content or otherwise. Requests for characters who are minors will have them aged up unless otherwise specified - in which case you will promptly be blocked.

Q: Can I request a dark imagine that is not yandere related?

A: Of course! Just make sure to be specific about what you want from it.

Q: Can I request a ship or character imagine that isn't yandere or dark?

A: Yes, though I won't promise it'll be what you're looking for. I fall towards horror, thriller, and angst when I write, regardless of my intentions.

Q: Can I request something that's not ship or character imagine related?

A: Sure, I'd be honored, but again, I don't promise to fulfill every request. This blog is intended to be stress relief, self indulgence.

How to Make a Request

Q: How do I contact you for requests?

A: Asks, messages, replies on my original posts, and even more casual things like tagging me in yandere or writing related posts are all great ways to interact with me!

Q: When do you accept requests?

A: Requests will be opened or closed depending on how busy I am and whether I'm caught up on them.

Currently, requests are closed. However, I've decided that requests are reopened on my days off. The days should be listed in my bio.

Q: Do you accept anonymous requests?

A: Yes, I do! I also will not publish asks from users unless the user specifically clarifies that they are okay with it, just in case the user sent the ask from their blog on accident. User asks that aren't specified as safe to publish will be responded to privately when the request is filled.

Q: How will I know my request is filled?

A: As stated above, anonymous asks and user asks clarified as safe to publish will be published with a response. User asks without any clarification will be responded to privately. Anonymous asks asking for privacy for any reason will not be published. Messages will also get a reply. Users who send requests that are kept private will not be tagged unless you ask me to. Users with published asks will always be tagged in the final post, but it is totally okay to ask me to change or erase the tag! Other than this, checking for posts is up to the requester.

Other Kinds of Interaction

Q: Is there anyone who you don't want interacting with your blog?

A: Anyone complicit in nazism, racism, transphobia, homophobia, misogyny, xenophobia, pedophilia/MAPs, or any other politicized violence against a people is uneqivocally not welcome to engage with my work. I also have a zero tolerance policy for true crime fans who support or absolve serial killers. Please respect this - anyone who doesn't will be blocked. Anyone who pushes the issue will be reported.

Q: What about kink or otherkin blogs?

A: Honestly, I don't know much about either community. As of now, I'm fine with interaction. I'd ask that I not receive any kin related requests, because I am not familiar with the concept, community, and issues accompanying. Kinks can be requested but as stated above, are not guaranteed to be filled. Please don't bring discourse or discourse related requests here. I am not equipped to or interested in getting involved. If that changes, I have a main and other side blogs. This blog will never be a place for it.

Q: Are you okay if we interact with you or send you asks and messages that aren't requests?

A: Absolutely! I would love to talk with you. I am always interested in discussing any of the topics covered on this blog, or anything else for that matter! I pride myself on trying to be not just nice, but kind, and hopefully that comes through in every interaction. However, I'll expect the same courtesy from anyone who'd reach out to me, or use my posts to communicate to others for that matter. Anyone who doesn't will be, you guessed it, blocked. Anyone who pursues it further, yeah, will be reported.

Q: You have a lot of rules about requests and interaction, but you don't seem to post much and you aren't very active. Is this all just awkward and formal overkill, or is there a point?

A: I've explained all of this clearly, in as an accessible way as I can think of, because I want to eliminate the potential for drama, confusion, and other misunderstandings.

Online communities tend to be chock-full of plenty and I do not, nor does anyone who visits, need another reason to be tired. I'm not detailing all of this upfront because I expect to be very popular, or because I like listening to myself talk for paragraphs on end. I don't want a theoretical lack of information to be used to hurt either myself or others, though some of it shouldn't have to be spelled out in the first place.

But considering how ridiculously easy it is to misinterpret each other online, and how much of a disadvantage neuroatypical people like myself are when things are left just implicit rather than made what you could argue as exhaustingly explicit, I figured a crazy FAQ was a small price to pay for a peaceful environment.

TLDR: it certainly might be overkill, but that doesn't mean there is no point to it.

Q: What should requesters and followers call you anyways?

A: I'm fine with my username. If you're going for a different vibe, Red or Darlings sounds nice too. If you can come up with something catchier, feel free to try!

💀💀💀

On that note, I also may be slow going when it comes to requests. All I can do is promise to put a lot of thought into my replies, even though speed is not guaranteed. Any other questions can be asked directly, and I would be more than happy to answer them!

#yandere #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #naruto imagines #mcu imagines #male yandere #yandere suggestions #yandere aesthetic #darlingsdontdie's content #darlingsdontdie's FAQ

14 notes · View notes

sometimesrosy · 5 years

Note

I hate seeing things like this “Someone on reddit (a huge bellarke fan) has had infos on s6 regarding bellarke. She said it was someone she trusts and that unfortunately the person made it clear that bellarke wasn't happening this season, if not ever. She said she completely lost hope... so yeah, low your expectations” I know better than to believe fleakers on reddit or twitter from GOT but it still gets you down knowing you can’t completely disregard it until the season airs

Anonymous said:A reliable moderator on Reddit said she has an insider and so far Bellarke isn’t in Jason’s plans and she was told Bellarke isn’t happening in s6 if not ‘ever’. I really know i shouldn’t believe in things like this, that don’t have open source or sumn but I feel so down. I still have hope I can’t accept that they put all those scenes or dialogues for nothing

Okay. So that’s two on the same topic. So this is going around again…. Three different asks now. And one nagging ask declaring i won’t answer their first. And it’s all bugging me.

*sigh* fine.

honestly i wish y’all just wouldn’t read it. but i should get it out. and you should know why I don’t buy those rumors and understand that I have reasons, I did research when they first came out. I went back to the text. And I have been watching the source of that rumor for literal YEARS now, so I’ve made some analysis on the way she works. I think we all forget that this is the internet, and we know what you said last year, how many times your theories were wrong, and who you blamed when they turned out to be wrong. None of this I say here is being said lightly and I wish I didn’t have to say it, but I think more harm has come from letting these rumors stand without challenging them. So. I guess I should do it, even though I don’t want to. The other option is to just wash my hands of fandom all together. I guess I’m too stubborn. fine. This is going to be a mess because I wrote it all day long, trying to get it out, planning on deleting it, getting new asks, having conversations with people, taking things out, adding others. And I’m just gonna post it and let it go without editing anymore.

I am not delusional. I am not naive. I am not a blind bellarke shipper. I am JUST trying to stick to the text and watch the show. I AM critical, but that does not mean I am negative. I am looking to UNDERSTAND the show on screen. And when rumors or writer commentary doesn’t fit with what I see in the show, I put them aside and do not take them as confirmation of anything.

I have been sitting on this answer all day trying to figure out how to answer it, because it gets pretty negative about… well… about one particular person and I am trying to keep out of drama and mind my own business and stick to the text and my corner of fandom. But I’m so tired of this all the time.

I just went to reddit to find out why it’s coming back and who this redditor is and what they said. So I couldn’t find it in the 100 reddit, but it was in bellarke reddit. I don’t know know WHO that moderator is, although it might be someone I know, who I know listens to the person who started the original rumor, and even if it isn’t him, it’s still pretty clear to me that’s where this new wave of negativity is coming from.

I have been avoiding speaking out on this particular rumor because I did my research when it first showed up and tracked it back to a person I had a meta argument with YEARS ago. And because of that, I’ve been careful to not say too much about it because it ends up sounding like I have a grudge. But it’s too much now. It isn’t fair that this stuff goes around because someone decides they are all knowing and understand everything better than everyone else and they think it’s a good idea to spread bad feelings as “confirmation.”

First of all, I don’t do gossip. I do canon. I analyze canon and stories and film and visuals and symbolism. Whatever someone says outside of canon, I consider it and see how it reflects upon canon. The more official it is, the more I take it seriously. Someone having an unnamed source with no written confirmation of what they said? And then DECLARING their interpretation of undocumented source material to be ACTUAL CANON CONFIRMATION? No. That’s called gossip and rumor and innuendo and interpretation and speculation. NONE OF THAT IS CANON CONFIRMATION.

I am at about third hand here, one person told me what she said about what the inside source said, so I cannot confirm anything I say as truth. But I want to explain the stuff I heard, and why I have decided that, far from confirmation against Bellarke, it actually sounds to me like confirmation FOR bellarke. It’s about interpretation, confirmation bias, point of view, rumors, fears, and ego.

As far as I can tell, someone who is an insider, who is in the know about the writers room said something along the lines of,

“The writer’s room used to argue all the time about whether or not to write romantic bellarke, and now they don’t argue about it anymore.”

The person to whom this was told interpreted that to mean that it was CONFIRMED that Bellarke was dead and JR was NOT GOING TO DO BELLARKE AT ALL. RIP.

Even if the source who said this is a good, honest source, that’s not what was said. At all. That was an INTERPRETATION of the statement, which seems to be strongly influenced by prior assumptions. The statement is saying they decided. That means it could go EITHER one way or the other. EITHER they’re giving up on Bellarke OR they’re committing to it so no arguments needed.

And I don’t understand that interpretation. Because it means that this source of gossip believes that season 5 had absolutely no romance in it. That there was nothing romantic about bellarke to argue about NOT doing.

But in season 5 we had 2199 calls to Bellamy, She must be important to you/She is. Sexy hug. The hostage taker and his girlfriend. Clarke jealous of B/E kissing. TWICE. Another traitor who you love. I always cared about bellamy. Love is not a weakness. Don’t make the same mistake I made when I betrayed you. Go save him. Do you know how much she cares about you? She called you every day. Bellamy inviting her to the bridge and then giving her the romantic “look back” before he leaves. Waking up ONLY Bellarke. Marper charging them with care of their child (that’s not romance that’s MARRIAGE) and facing the new world in each other’s arms, TOGETHER.

I mean, maybe one of those things could be taken out of context and read as romantic when it’s not intended to be, but all of them, one after another? on and on? No. That’s evidence that supports a romantic storyline.

If they CHOSE to not do romantic Bellarke, then there would be NO explicitly romantic moments, Clarke would NOT be compared to Echo in Bellamy’s feelings. They would NOT have used the daily letter trope. The camera would not have closed in on his hand by so much skin and his lips brushing her shoulder. Clarke would NOT have been jealous– a shot that CLOSELY echoed when she saw finn and raven kissing, an explicitly romantic/jealous parallel to a canon love triangle.

And if they had changed their minds about romantic bellarke, they would have wrapped up the 2199 calls as NOT romantic at that fireside. They would have had Bellamy tell Clarke he poisoned Octavia to save Clarke’s life, and it was no big deal. They would have had Clarke tell Echo that Bellamy was her best friend, like a brother to her. But instead, they leave all these things unsaid, unspoken, still to be discovered. There are ACTIVELY open romantic Bellarke plots, especially because Bellamy HAS to either choose Echo and NOT Clarke, or he has to break up with Echo and see what can happen with Clarke, because he loves them both, as stated by Octavia. Or he could keep them both like Finn did. WHICH takes us back to romantic storyline anyway. Not endgame, but romance definitely. Which, EVEN if they have decided to go with endgame B/E STILL makes Bellarke part of a romance. Bellarke was a canon romance in season 5. Love triangle. C/B/E.

The writers CHOSE to put that stuff in there. They CHOSE to announce Bellamy’s love for Clarke as a tipping point for a major MAJOR plot and character moment. If they were clear about NOT putting romance in, they wouldn’t have done that. They would certainly not leave the storylines OPEN and in need of resolution. LIke with Supergirl, where Kara and James kissed and then did a 180 and were like, “nah let’s just be friends, HEy do you think that bland white creep is cute?” They tanked karolsen for a new ship. THIS is not happening on The 100. They did not tank Bellarke. They brought it in tighter and made it more immediate and brought other people into the the story and are forcing the need to CONFRONT the feelings they have for each other, because Bellamy is not going to be able to pretend he doesn’t feel that, when his girlfriend is there, and he SHOULDN’T be feeling it at all.

If they were in the middle and TEASING bellarke and not intending to make it GO romantic, or delaying it and intending to make it go there, they would still be arguing about it being too much or not enough or whatever.

However, if they put all that in there WITHOUT arguing, that means the plan, for everyone, is to do romantic Bellarke. It means they’ve already started.

They know how to do platonic. Raven and Bellamy are platonic. When THEY stood at that window looking into the future of a planet, they DID NOT TOUCH. Platonic. When Bellamy refused to leave Raven behind, it was the memory of CLARKE that made it painful, and Raven jollied him out of it by calling him names and lying to him. NOT romantic. If they had decided to NOT do Bellarke and NOT tease romance or foreshadow it, they know how not to make it romance. Which includes NOT comparing your love for her to your canon girlfriend.

NOW TWO people have declared the source to be a good source. And this has been the problem with this rumor, because this person has a lot of authority within fandom, has been involved with production, has a broad audience and does indeed talk to people. SO she is seen as an authority that cannot be questioned.

There is no authority that cannot be questioned about their opinion.

And I have had significant interaction with this person that calls into question her interpretations, her judgment, and her authority. I once called her a hypocrite because she said I could not possibly know authorial intent, because SHE knew authorial intent and I was wrong. Which, as a teacher, just pisses me the hell off, because she’s basically saying that only certain people are able to understand story, people with authority like hers. She was gatekeeping my interpretation. And, like, my JOB was to teach kids how to think for themselves and come up with interpretations. And that’s what I try to do here. Come up with my interpretations, show you how i got there, encourage you to come up with your own and back them up. I mean if you agree with me, great, but it’s fiction. We all get to interpret things. The better our analysis, the better we can defend it. To just flat out say that she was the authority and SHE knows and can tell everyone what to think? No.

So I guess that’s why I’m going all in on this. I wrote this this morning when I was ranting, but not sure I’d post the vague blog because I try not to be negative. But then I got the second ask so it’s all coming around again, and I already avoided speaking out about it the first time. And that didn’t make it go away. She’s still acting as an authority who knows everything and all she has to do is say it is confirmed, and other people take it as truth because she said it. It’s not like it will cause a rift in fandom. The fandom is in pieces anyway, and anyone who believes her thinks I’m delusional and an embarrassment, according to the anons I get, But I’m going to put this under the cut in the hopes that most people are too lazy to click more. But whatev, she’s not my friend, she doesn’t respect me I don’t respect her. And this whole gossip horror was the nail in my fandom coffin when it first came up a few months ago. I’m not naming names but if you know what’s happening or what happened the first time, you know the story.

I hope this is too long and y’all won’t read it. This is why I have been sitting on this post all day, but I keep getting asks and I’m getting so angry.

I know who said that, and i never trust her interpretations, because she spent season 3 telling us all, definitively, that Lxa was the hero now, CLarke was the Love Interest, and CL was endgame because it was *pretty,* and we had no right to think CL was dark. First of all, pretty does not equal good, and hasn’t been assumed so for like idk a hundred years? But worse, that I had NO RIGHT, to look at it any other way but a beautiful love story. (incidentally silencing abuse victims.) That we COULD NOT understand authorial intent, did not have the ability to do so, but she did, and we were wrong. And not allowed to say anything else.

When she doesn’t understand something in the show, she doesn’t bother trying to understand the story that JR is telling, she just says that he’s a bad writer. When she DOES understand something in the story, she says the writers are so bad that they didn’t do it on purpose, and it’s only because she’s so smart and clever that she figured out their underlying psychological misogyny that they didn’t know they were writing into the story. That’s the Finn as “Nice Guy” storyline.

When the writers actually TELL her that they LITERALLY meant what she saw and they are surprised the fandom missed it, she again goes back to blaming the writers for not being clear enough. When she was TOLD that the CL story in polis was a dark story of Clarke’s psychology and she MISSED it, she AGAIN blamed the writers for not being clear and then. And THEN. Get this. Blamed the fandom for never looking critically at the CL story in POLIS, For only seeing it as pretty, unless they were screaming ABUSE. Remember when I told you she told me I didn’t have a right to my interpretation and she was silencing abuse victims? So. Yeah. She’s referring to me, and those of us who were talking about that seriously, as abuse survivors or psychology students.

Anonymous said:She’s not the only one that claimed Bellarke is never happening. [XX] had some insider too as i remember and tweeted something along those lines of the moderator from Reddit publicly. {XX] is reliable enough and she said something like they aren’t planning canon but I don’t wanna put pressure on her I only saw her tweet she is not a part of fandom drama she’s a part of presskru.

Yeah. I’m not saying her name. That’s her. I’ve spent all morning trying to write my thoughts on this, and on what I’ve seen her do in this fandom for three years. And I found that reddit thread and I’m pretty sure that the mod’s “reliable source” is that woman who is NOT a reliable source. She’s a biased source who does not check her theories against the canon because she’s more interested in hearing herself talk and being right than in actually understanding the story.

Being part of presskru does not mean she is right. The press writing about this show has OFTEN been wrong. DO you remember season 3 at ALL? Some of those people were still writing reviews in season 5 where Clarke and Bellamy did not exist almost. They were trying to rewrite the show as Octavia-Raven-Diyoza centered. She was part of the completely inaccurate interpretations of season 3. Just because someone tells you they are an authority that does not mean you should take what they say without questioning them. QUESTION EVERYTHING.

She is not reliable. She has had consistently bad speculation and has interpreted this show ABSOLUTELY incorrectly MANY times. And when she’s wrong, she says the problem is with the story and the writers, not her meta. She refuses to question her own interpretations or even, really, to check it to the canon show. She believes Bellarke is dead so when someone said something, she IMMEDIATELY decided she had to tell EVERYONE that Bellarke was confirmed dead. This whole rumor comes from her. From her unreliable interpretations and confirmation bias.

Please, don’t take my word for it. Go back over her meta and her speculation. See what she says when the writers tell her to her face that she was wrong, and how she is friends with them until she is facing fandom and then she calls them all bad writers and the show a bad show and the story making no sense. When really, she the show just WENT OVER HER HEAD AND SHE MISSED IT. Every time she calls a writer a bad writer, you can just assume that she did some lazy analysis, jumped to conclusions, and when the story didn’t do what she thought it should, decided the fault was with the writers, the story, the characters, or, well hell, why not just blame me. I did after all say CL was abusive. And that’s why she didn’t bother looking into the symbolism of Clarke’s character development in polis.

Someone told her something, when she knows the whole cast and crew are on lockdown, and she ran to twitter and started telling everyone that she had insider information and she knew the truth. That is not reliable. That is HIGHLY suspect and arrogant and lacks any sort of honor. She needed to be the one who had insider knowledge, so she decided to hurt a whole fandom. She HURT people, because she HAD be the one to know the truth. She was NOT concerned with anyone else and did NOT allow them to be happy shipping their ship.

As far as I can tell, her interpretation of what someone told her is par for the course for her, had nothing to do with the canon, and everything to do with fandom drama, ego, confirmation bias, and the desire to be the authority and have everyone think she’s the shit.

I do not think she’s the shit. Sorry. I think she is an irresponsible writer claiming authority and using it to control those around her. Worse, she’s a teacher. And as a writer and a teacher, that makes me ANGRY. She can’t bully me into following her, or convince me that she’s smarter than me and make me hang on her every word, and so she blocked me a long time ago. But I’ve tried to help people understand the story and come up with their own interpretations and she’s actively gone out of her way to claim her authority to kill a whole ship and fandom. Am I biased? YOU BET. But that bias means I pay very close attention to what she says. And what she says, is suspect.

Please don’t send me any more asks about gossip, rumors or drama. And definitely don’t send me any asks about her.

I would prefer to talk about CANON, literature, film, science fiction, character development, symbolism, storytelling, and Bellarke.

#oh fuck just take this thing #too long; don't bother reading #antis #fandom wank #gossip and rumors #in defense of me

33 notes · View notes