#LOOK IM IGNORING YOUR PAIN UNTIL ITS CONVENIENT FOR ME
Text
Gravity - Gojo Satoru x fem! reader
What lies between nothingness and eternity?
The space between you and me.
Summary: [n/a yet]
c/w: descriptions of violence and blood, some later themes include self harm (will update as we go)
Tags: Gojo Satoru x F!Reader, Friends To Lovers, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Angst, Fluff, Feels, smut probably later on
notes: I havent written a story in the longest time and Im honestly nervous and excited askdlsdks
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Chapter 1 - Introduction
Nothingness. Damp, humid, heavy.
Out of the darkness came brief focus; gray slabs of concrete above, depositing droplets of water onto your face. Somewhere far away, the quiet sounds of car traffic were punctuated by the shrill chirp of cicadas. The bridge above slowly came into blurry focus, as you took one large gasp of air and began to cough. Beneath your splayed hands you felt stones and muddy grass, grasping desperately. Your limbs were heavy, almost impossibly so, when you rolled over onto your side and continued to gasp for air until your breathing slowed. Inches away was a cell phone with its glass shattered into spiderwebs speckled with drops of blood. With a groan, you brought your knees to your chest and braced your left side with your hands. The pain was sharp with any movement and sticky with dried blood. you looked down at your palm to see the mess of blood that soaked into the waist of your shirt and pants. Eyes searching wildly, there seemed to be nothing else around in the dead of the night. Above, the tall footbridge was quiet and without people while below, the trickle of water and chirp of insects echoed in the tall space.
What happened?
Determined, you threw your arm toward the phone to pick it up, smearing blood across the shattered screen. Another deep breath and you had gotten yourself into a sitting position, to lean against the wall that held the path above. You clicked desperately on the phone but it wouldn’t wake. You placed the broken phone into your pocket and leaned your head back against the muck and concrete. Your body was filled with needles, piercing shards of pain everywhere since you woke. You choked down a sob that rose in your chest, holding back the pain and confusion. In the spot where you lay, blood littered the rocks around with smears across the ground where you had struggled to sit up. The warm, light rain sprinkled the stained rocks, slowly diluting the blood as it ran along the span of the bridge and down the creekbed. The smell of blood and damp humidity raised nausea and you closed your eyes briefly to recoup.
Get home. Just get home.
In several small movements, you braced yourself against the filthy wall to come to stand on your feet. The sound of blood rushing through your head became deafening, drowning out the trickle of the creek and patter of rain. The bottom of the creek was well below street level, so you proceeded to slowly scramble up the muddy side until you reached the bridge. The night was still and quiet, except for the cicada chatter. No people walked the streets, likely to stay safe from the heat and rain. Droplets of rain prickled your face as you swiveled around, scanning the area. Not one soul on the outside. Had anyone seen what had happened? The bridge was a mile or so from your home, just a quick stroll on a normal day. you braced your left side with your right hand and set about towards home. you stayed in the shadows of alleyways between homes, avoiding the streetlights on the main road. The tall street lamp buzzed nearby as the moths cast fluttery shadows on the sidewalk. you paused between the buildings, one a convenience store long since closed for the night, and the other a residential home with all the lights off. Everyone safe in the beds at this hour, most likely. you rested heavily against the outer wall of the convenience store to regain enough strength to continue.
Just a little farther.
Panting heavily and ignoring the screams of pain from your limbs, you continued on while avoiding the main walking paths. Every step was agony, every breath burned in your lungs like fire. you fought tears when your home came into view. A small apartment building on the outskirts of Tokyo, it was quiet and unimpressive. you could see the outdoor entrance to your apartment from where you stood. The night remained quiet and serene as if somehow the world was blissfully unaware of the horror you were experiencing. you continued to struggle against the weight of your injured body, dragging each step forward toward your home. Toward safety. you climbed the rear staircase to the second floor, where your apartment was located. The rear light had never worked and the kindly landlord had yet to fix it. Creeping up each step, you panted heavily at the effort of the climb but took care to avoid the support of the wall, to not leave blood behind. your lungs were burning, screaming by the time you reached the top of the stairs. you shuffled past one neighbor’s door, then another until you reached your front entrance. The front door was unlocked and slightly ajar, so you pressed your shoulder into it until you collapsed inside on the floor.
You kicked the door closed with your feet and groaned as you rolled onto your stomach. The apartment was silent and unlit. As dark and damp and dreary as it was outside in the world. your apartment was small and bare, with little more than a bed and small table in your one-room home. Around you, the shoes you had kept in the entranceway were filthy with dirt, grass, and blood that you had tracked inside. you sat with the shoes for several long minutes, replaying the events in your head. Waking up under a bridge, but before that… nothing? you glanced at the oven clock in the kitchen right off the entranceway.
3:28 AM
You struggled your way into the bathroom of your apartment, running the hot water immediately. The steam of the shower filled the small room quickly, obstructing the view in the mirror. But you had seen it. The unmistakable shock of red blood across your face and neck. Deep sunken eyes with dark circles. your white shirt was stained from your abdominal wound caked red and brown across the fabric. Mud and grass swirled down the drain when you stepped into the shower, not bothering to remove your clothes. Leaning your head against the wall, you watched the filth escape down the drain as the scalding water hit your back. You removed your clothes gingerly, one at a time. The gash on your side had stopped bleeding some time ago, but was still fresh and throbbing with pain. Tiny scratches were scattered all over, as well as larger marks and bruises. you left the shower carefully, your body trembling with effort, and dressed in the first item of clothing you found on your neatly made bed. You haphazardly tied the robe on and collapsed onto the floor in the corner of your bedroom. You shuffled into the farthest corner, away from the moonlight coming in your open curtains. Drawing your knees up to your chest, you pulled them close and rested your head on your forearms. You were home now, safe. But the dread in your chest had not dissipated. There was a stranglehold on your lungs and you felt a burning heat with every breath. You clutched at your chest and robes, impossibly fighting to ease your breathing.
You stayed in this corner of the apartment for hours, slowly watching the sunlight creep into your room as the new day began. The familiar sounds of people outside waking and starting their day could be heard outside. Neighbors chatted, children laughed as they headed out for their final week of school before the summer holidays. Outside, all was normal. Inside, the shadows danced and creeped whenever you weren’t looking. From the corner of your eyes, you noted small movements in the dark corners of the room, beneath your bed and from the shadow of the kitchen. You whipped your head around all night, tracking these movements but they disappeared with scrutiny. The weight in your chest had not stopped, but you learned to breathe shallowly to get through it. The light in the bedroom had quieted some of the shadows’ movements, but you could swear it would still happen diverted your attenion. You hadn’t slept for a second, and the pounding in your head was becoming louder as the day went on.
After some time, you poured yourself a glass of water from the kitchen and carefully drank from the trembling glass in your hand. ou leaned against the counter and surveyed the bloody mess left in your entranceway, tracking onto the floor and shoes. Opening the robe slowly, you checked again on your wound to inspect it in the daylight. It was surprisingly closed, though still raw and beginning to scab in places. Tears welled in your eyes as you quickly closed your yukata to block the sight. With your back against the wall, you cracked your front door open slightly to check for any blood that could have alerted the neighbors. None.
Grunting with effort, you tossed your soiled shoes into a new trashbag and dumped it haphazardly in the entranceway for later.
What now?
Night crept in once again and you hadn’t left the apartment since your arrival. you sat curled on the bed, staring out into the night from your balcony doors. Moonlight illuminated the trees from neighboring yards and the fenced boundaries between them. The neighborhood stray cats that had so elegantly walked the fenceline between homes were now absent and the night was utterly still. You had stared out into the outside world since the early hours of the morning, unable to sleep or rest. Just watching. The dread in the pit of your stomach and chest had a menacing grip on your insides, making your blood run cold and fear creep over your brain. The shadows danced once again, strengthened by the bright moonlight deepening the shadows in corners. The straight shadow of the balcony divider that stretched across the floor toward the kitchen illuminated the floor in front of your bed. With wide eyes, you watched as the rigid line blurred and stretched, tiny vines appearing from the shadows and lazily reaching across the floor and into the moonlight.
You hurriedly scurried backward from your place on the bed, pressing back into the corner of your bed. You blinked your eyes, and the shadow appeared normal and straight as it always has. A voice carried in from the alleyway that your balcony faced. A man appeared to be talking to someone on a cell phone, although it was unusual at this time of night. Stretching yourself up, you peered over the floor of your balcony to catch a glimpse of the person.
“No, there’s certainly something here, I just haven’t pinpointed it yet.”
It didn’t sound like any of your neighbors. You crept off the bed on your hands and knees and sat in front of the sliding balcony door, scanning the alleyway. You're standing in the dark alley was a man in a tan suit, wearing glasses and speaking into a mobile phone. He stood in the shadow cast from the balcony of your next-door neighbor, closest to the edge of the complex. He was too far to hear the entire conversation but a few words floated over the still night air.
“Understood.”
The stranger adjusted his glasses with his gloved hand before storing the phone and walking away. He walked deeper into the shadows and around the corner of the building until he was out of sight. you scrambled back onto the bed and gripped your chest, your pounding heart threatening to explode. First this, now strange men in your neighborhood? You peered up at the corner of the ceiling above your head. The shadow above had deepened, darker than those cast in the rest of your room. From the corner, black liquid poured slowly down in streaks as small swirling vines crept out of the space to stretch across the corner of the ceiling above your head. your blood turned to ice as you watched this happen. Frozen, you let out a small cry as your mind raced on what to do. But in another instant, it was gone. No streaks of black liquid, and no traveling vines. you clamped your hand over your mouth to stifle a scream. Pulling the covers over your head, you squeezed your eyes shut and tried in vain to calm your beating heart.
Am I going mad?
---------------------------------------------------
Nothingness. Damp, humid, heavy.
Again?
Looking down at your hands, they were clean and free of blood. Around you, however, was a sea of nothingness stretching vast beyond where your eyes could possibly see. Swiveling your head around, you found the same in all directions. The air was hot and burned with every inhale. you took one step, then another, moving forward in a disorienting environment that didn’t change around you. You quickened your pace into a run, panting and burning through the musty air around you. your legs were stark white against the black nothingness, muscles pumping with every leap forward. In a flash, you noticed a glimmer below and abruptly stopped, falling to your knees. Below your, the barely visible outline of shoes… and legs. Standing up once again, you were able to clear the image. Where your feet connected to the floor stood a figure below, a standing mirror image. The figure was slim and gangly, the face too far away and obscured by the darkness. you started again, with one step and then another. The figure mirrored your movements exactly. your breathing began to quicken, fear catching in your chest. Walking in tandem below you, the figure began to smile. A Cheshire grin, stark white and blindingly visible against the darkness below.
With a scream you began to run again, only this time your legs felt a thousand times heavier as though you were swimming through thick, warm waters. The floor seemingly fell out from under you as you no longer made contact with a surface, and instead began to sink below toward the figure. Screaming, you grasped at the darkness in the air but was unable to find anything to grasp onto. The smiling figure stood still, watching as you sank to become at face level with it. Nose to nose, you stared at the figure with wild eyes. Your hair slipped up and over your shoulders while you stood still, now hanging in the air as if suspended from the ceiling. The upside-down face of the figure continued to smile widely, sharp teeth slowly materializing as the figure opened its jaw. Mere millimeters from your face, you struggled against this feeling of gravity as the teeth before your dripped menacingly with darkness. Rows and rows of teeth were revealed as its jaw opened wider…
You awoke violently, jumping straight up in bed and crashing to the floor. you gasped for air desperately while feeling around your neck with both hands. It took several moments to calm down and slow your breathing, the fear left your body trembling. Looking back at the bed, the blankets and pillows were strewn around from your sudden awakening but you didn’t remember falling asleep. The nightmare left you shaking, dizzy and disoriented. What time was it? How long had it been? Outside your sliding glass doors, the sun was nearly set and the stars had begun to shine in the deepest parts of the sky. The fading daylight gripped your heart with fear.
Run.
You scrambled off the floor and threw open the closet, changing into the first outfit you could find. you threw a large jacket and baseball cap over your simple jeans and shirt, and grabbed the broken phone. You pocketed the house keys that had sat upon the nightstand since you returned home. Haphazardly, you stuffed your feet into a clean pair of sneakers from the closet and exited the apartment. Trying to appear calm, you shut your front door slowly and took care to lock it. As you walked swiftly to the rear stairway you tugged the baseball cap down lower on your brow. The light of the hallway flickered above as you passed, buzzing wildly in discordant notes. You hurriedly descended the stairs, turning the corner to pass through the alleys between the homes. You had no destination but your mind and body screamed for you to run, struggling to remain calm but the shadows played tricks once again, moving and swaying in your periphery when you looked away. A low rumble was heard in the distance, startling some birds to take flight into the moonlit night. you continued on, feet barely grazing the ground as you flew through the streets. Behind you, leaves on the trees rustled in the gardens as you passed… or was that the wind?
Residential streets eventually gave to taller apartment buildings, schools, and offices. You finally slowed to gasp for breath on an abandoned corner in front of a middle school building. The streets were once again eerily quiet, mostly dark and completely empty of life. Behind the wall of the school fence, the swings creaked noisily as the breeze picked up slightly in the courtyard. you wanted to keep going, keep running further into the night but struggled to catch your ragged breath. From the sewer below the curb at your feet, thick fingers reached up and over the corner toward your feet.
“Eat… eat…” the harsh whisper drew your attention. Tennis ball-sized eyes stared at you unblinkingly from the sewer grate with long fingers and arms reaching closer and closer to your sneakers. you stepped back in shock as from the grate, the grimy body of the long-armed creature slowly spilled out into the street, still whispering, reaching….
You whipped your head around, looking for an escape. From around the corner of the school fence, another pair of eyes fixated upon you. From the shadows on the sidewalk, a long snout with wide nostrils sniffed in your direction, emitting a curious, low grumble.
Run, run, run
Your brain screamed over and over, willing your feet to move. Feeling disconnected from your body, you ran in the opposite direction away from the monsters materializing in front of you. Legs pumping, chest burning, you ran toward the opposite corner, farthest away from the danger. In the corners of your eyes, you saw more movement, more eyes appearing, staring hungrily.
“Miss!”
A man’s voice drew your attention from the intersection in front of your, running toward you at top speed. The man wore a tan suit and glasses, blonde hair neatly combed as though he were prepared for a meeting at midnight. you met his eyes, a determined gaze from beneath his green lenses. His gloved hand reached into his breast pocket as he sprinted directly toward you.
“Help me!” you cried, your voice cracking from strain. He flew past you, toward the corner of the school fence, toward the monsters. “Miss, kindly get to safety,” he shouted back to you as he passed. He drew from his suit jacket a weapon of some sort, a cleaver? You refocused your attention on the path ahead as you continued running, leaving the man behind with the threat. Your singular focus was to run far away, far away from this doomed town. Lungs on fire, every breath a struggle.
You stopped to rest once again, once you felt you had put enough distance between yourself and the school. You took cover behind a closed restaurant, next to the brightly lit vending machine in the half-street. The night was quiet, except for your gasps for air. Terror, dread, and exhaustion were all you could feel at this moment, unsure as you were of what to do from here. The streets and alleys around you were quiet now, and you briefly thought back to the man who had run toward the danger. Could he still be alive? You dropped to a crouch, leaning your elbows on your knees and holding your injured side for support. A breeze picked up, unsettling loose trash around the alleyway. The lights of the vending machine flickered, powering down momentarily. The other end of the corridor was no longer visible, instead replaced with impenetrable darkness that seemed to take in the light around it. your eyes snapped to the growing shadow slowly consuming the ground toward you. Strands of your long hair fluttered in the breeze toward the massive darkness, inviting you in. In the center of the black hole, a smile appeared, a glistening half-moon smile in a sea of shadows. It advanced down the alleyway, slowly surfacing the gangly body attached to it.
Tense, you stared at the familiar figure that materialized before you. In a moment, you were off again on the run back toward the street looking for an escape.
“There!”
A sudden commotion behind you and suddenly the concrete rushed up to meet your face. Turning over quickly, you saw the suited man from earlier, brandishing a blade dripping with blood. At his feet lay a wriggling hand with an arm that extended all the way to the back of the alley. Its fingers continued squirming and reaching, reaching…
The concrete scratched your palms bloody as you scrambled backward to distance yourself from the man. He was inhuman in his speed, fighting this monstrosity without hesitation. Pausing to look back, he addressed you politely, “Please stay somewhere safe while I take care of this.” He loosened his tie and returned his attention to the rumbling shadows. Arms projected from the darkness, and the man parried each attack with precision. The monster revealed itself, an amorphous mass of arms and grasping hands, crawling along and pulling itself forward in disjointed movements. The smell of foul rot and anguish wafted through the air of the alley, a sickening smell emitting from the creature.
The man steadied himself, pausing for only a moment to survey the situation then leapt forward with his cleaver in hand. In the blink of an eye, the monster stopped its advance and released a blood-curdling screech. you covered your ears against the powerful shriek and stumbled to your feet.
A voice rang out over the rooftops, “Great job, Nanamin!”
Somewhere above stood another tall man, wearing a school uniform of some sort. His boisterous laugh rang out above the sound of the dying creature. This man wore a mask over his eyes, with white hair blowing in the summer breeze. His grin was unmistakable, even from the distance to the ground. He stuffed his hands lazily into his pockets and addressed the man in the suit, who was cleaning off his blade. The nagging desire to run had returned and was tugging at your feet to continue the escape into the night. Eyeing the pair and determining it was time, you turned heel to slip away. As you whipped your head around, you came face to face with the masked man on the ground before you. His hand was outstretched, nearly meeting your nose with his fingers splayed.
“No.”
A blinding white light consumed your vision and the weight dropped from all your limbs as you lost consciousness.
Chapter 2
-----------------------------------------
Phew why was I so nervous to post I hope someone out there enjoys this drabble omg
#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru fluff#gojo fluff#jjk fanfic#gojo fanfic#gojo satoru fanfic#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#gojo x female reader#gojo satoru x female reader#jujutsu kaisen#gojo angst#jjk x fem!reader
96 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi hi hi could i request a hawk imagine where it’s an enemies to lovers kinda thing, so hawk is still in cobra kai and y/n is in miyagi do. basically tori hurts her and he sees her after and gets protective over her, then they get close and kinda secretly date... something like that haha THANK YOUUU <33333
Do Better — Eli Hawk Moskowitz x Female!Reader
HI OMG IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I literally had an entirely different fic at like 8k words for this before I decided it didn’t fit close enough to the prompt and I just completely started over and this one was even longer than the first so that’s why it took me literal ages LOL.
includes; swearing, fluff, fighting, so much angst
words; 11,394 (im sorry its a whole ass novel)
this takes place late s2, after demetri and hawk’s friendship ends but before eagle fang forms!
Most of your time in high-school you spent in a bubble, keeping to yourself and just your few friends. You didn’t involve yourself in other people’s crap very often, but when an all-out karate war happened at the end of your junior year, you couldn’t keep lurking in the shadows anymore.
Bullying was becoming heavy at your school, and while you weren’t usually a target, you grew tired of watching other people get hurt. Primarily, by a familiar face to you-- Eli Moskowitz.
Not that you knew him particularly well, but you remembered the shy boy you’d shared classes with, and you always tried your best to be nice to him knowing how others treated him.
You never would’ve thought that now he’d be the bully, destroying the confidence of other kids who were just like him.
“Look at this kid,” He laughed to his friend, Mitch. The two boys were standing in the hall, hovering over a small, scrawny boy who looked terrified. “You wanna be in Cobra Kai? Well, see, we had to be un-flinched first. We can do that for you right now, though. See how much you can take.” He teased, threatening a punch, watching the boy wince at his movement.
When you were in the halls on your way to your next class, you witnessed this horrible incident. You watched for a moment, before deciding that it was time for you to step out of your bubble. “Hey, leave him alone.” You said annoyedly, urging the boys to give it up.
Hawk turned to you and leered, and Mitch pushed the kid against the locker so he wouldn’t move while they dealt with you. “Be careful who you talk to like that, princess.” He moved dangerously close, and despite the feelings of anger you had towards him, your stomach dropped a little at the nickname.
Not letting it affect you, you came back bitterly. “Oh yeah? And who am I talking to, Eli?” His face contorted in disgust at the use of his real name. “You know, it’s sad, how you became everything you used to despise. I remember the other side of you, you were sweet..” You said, smiling to your self in remembrance. “And now look at you.” Looking at him in resentment, you finished.
Turning angrily on his heel at your words, Hawk punched the boy in the face and let him go running. He looked back at you with a look of victory, and Mitch smirked. “You better watch your back.” Hawk said threateningly, and knocked his shoulder into yours as he walked to his class.
Through the rest of the day, Hawk thought about you. He knew who you were; Y/N, the only girl to ever be nice to him during his shier days. He remembered the feeling he got any time you’d talked to him, and also how pretty you looked each time you did.
He had almost forgotten until then, how much he had always admired you. He even wanted to ask you out all that time ago, but now too much has changed. Way too much, clearly, because when the commercial for Miyagi-Do came out, you were quick to join.
It was that interaction with Hawk that really set you off, actually. You wanted to be able to stop the cruelty, and you thought that joining Miyagi-Do for defense would be a good start.
Little did you know, the rivalry would only grow.
As weeks passed, Miyagi-Do gained students and flourished. But in the meanwhile, Cobra Kai only got rougher, angrier, and just.. worse, in general.
You had done your best to avoid fights, (like a true Miyagi-Do would) but on a particularly bad day of yours, you were unlucky enough to find yourself running into Tory outside of school.
Being close friends with Sam, you knew to stay clear of Tory after hearing what she did to her. You thought Tory was a vile human being, though, and if she were to start anything-- she was probably the one person you wouldn’t hesitate to absolutely destroy.
When on your way to the dojo, you took a pit stop at a convenience store to pick up some snacks since you had some time to kill between after school and when practice started. You were met with an unpleasant surprise on your way out, when you saw Tory approaching the store.
The two of you made eye contact as you crossed paths, and you decided to ignore her and keep walking. Until, as you walked past each other, Tory stuck out her leg and tripped you over the concrete pathway.
“Are you kidding me, bitch?” You pushed yourself up, scoffing at her, and she smiled maniacally. “What’d you just call me?” She teased, obviously looking for a fight.
As much as you wanted to stay calm, you were pushed over the edge. “You heard me, bitch.” You repeated, letting her know you were not afraid. “What’s your problem? I keep away from you and you just can’t help yourself from starting something. I’ve never even done anything to you.” You confronted Tory, looking for an explanation for her behavior.
It was true, you’d hardly ever interacted with her-- but since you’re in Miyagi-Do and friends with Sam, she just didn’t like you. And Tory being Tory, if she didn’t like someone, she was going to be a bitch about it.
She laughed at your attempt to reason with her, and looked at you in self-satisfaction. “I just think it’d be fun to watch you bleed.” She seemed proud at the insult, stepping forward threateningly-- but you thought it was pretty lame.
Clearly, she had no real answer for the questions you asked her. She was far gone in her own world, using only anger to dictate her decisions.
You had let out a disappointed sigh, shaking your head, and turned to simply leave the situation, remembering that it wasn’t worth it. But Tory had other plans.
She grabbed your wrist, twisting it painfully forcing your body to face her. You quickly rotated it to release yourself from her grip, and punched her in the face with your newly freed hand.
“Leave me alone, Tory. This fighting for no reason crap is bullshit.” You said, stepping out of her proximity and holding your fists up in case of needed defense. Tory felt blood trickle from her nose, and as she wiped it from her face, she threw you a sickening sneer.
Seemingly avid on letting her rage out on you, she only continued. “You’re pathetic.” She cackled, taking a swing at you. You blocked this, but the movement left an opening for her to then kick your stomach, which sent you to the ground.
Before you could manage to get up again, she was hovering over you, punching your face repeatedly. It wasn’t until the pain was sinking in that you finally gained enough power to push her off, rolling forward and pinning her down tightly.
You grabbed a fistful of her hair, turning her face towards the ground. “Give it up, Tory.” She stayed quiet, breathing heavily, until she used her remaining strength to free her arm and dig her elbow into your side.
You fell back at this, and you were now both sat on the ground, mere inches from each other. “Seriously, I mean what’s the point? What are you gaining from this besides a couple of bruises?” You stood up, asking again.
You genuinely wanted to know, what could make a person so heartless. You had done nothing to provoke her, yet she was so intent on hurting you. Your question had unfortunately only sparked her rage again, the way you acted so ‘above it all,’ in Tory’s mind made her only angrier.
She rose, charging towards you for another strike, when the owner of the convenience store came out. “What the hell is this? Do I need to call the police?” The man asked. He had caught you in the blocking position of Tory’s attack, and she bitterly pushed herself off of you.
“You got lucky.” She spat, walking back towards the store she was originally on her way into. “Think about it, Tory! Why?” You yelled as she walked away, wanting your final words to sink into her.
You assured the owner that you were fine, and that he didn’t need to get the cops involved. You took out your phone and checked your complexion in the front camera, cringing seeing the cuts and bruises from Tory’s punches all over your face.
But remembering the bloody nose you had given her in your first punch, you smiled to yourself. Looking at your phone’s clock, you had certainly killed the time, but much more than you had wanted to. You were going to be late, so you texted Sam, alerting her that you got in a fight (sparing the details for later,) and that you would be late to practice.
You figured you could just clean up your cuts when you got home, it wasn’t a big deal, probably. But on your walk to the dojo, a passing car slowed at the sight of you. You started walking faster, instantly assuming the worst, but when the window rolled down, you heard a familiar, extremely unpleasant voice. Hawk.
“On your way to practice, huh? Still no car?” He taunted, knowing you still hadn’t saved up enough to buy your own. You glanced at him and rolled your eyes, continuing to walk down the sidewalk. How many enemies were you going to bump into today?
That was when he noticed your face. “Jesus, Y/N, what happened to you?” He laughed, fully stopping the car. You halted and responded annoyedly, “Tory happened. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be late.” Turning back towards the walkway, you continued down the street.
But before you could get far, Hawk had gotten out of his car and caught up to you. “You’re not seriously headed to the dojo like that are you?” He said confusedly, trying to keep up with your pace.
You looked at him like his question was stupid, and continued walking. At your ignoring of him, he pushed his point further. “You need to clean those cuts.” He said, still following close behind you as you walked.
“Since when do you care?” You said irritated, continuing to disregard the boy’s words. At this, he finally stopped following. “You know what, fine.” He stood, speaking sharply, and you looked at him curiously at his abruptness. “Just trying to help, or, be nice or whatever.” He muttered aggravatedly, raising his hands in mocking surrender at your attitude.
You had ignored his concerns, because quite honestly you didn’t believe he was actually concerned. You had assumed it was some sort of set up for a new insult, or a way to just mess up your face even more.
“Oh yeah? That’s pretty unusual for you, isn’t it?” You said rudely, engaging back in the conversation. Hawk pursed his lips together and shifted uncomfortably.
You didn’t know it, but Hawk still cared about you. He may have changed, but his feelings for you hadn’t— as much as he tried to get them to. And right now, seeing you hurt, and since there was nobody around to judge him for it, he wanted to help you.
“Look, I’ve got some first aid stuff in my car. Let me help.” He stayed where he was, not wanting to provoke you, and spoke softly, nudging his head towards his car.
You narrowed your eyes looking at him, feeling skeptical of accepting the invitation. He noticed your hesitation, but did not back down, looking at you expectantly for an answer.
You let out an exasperated sigh, and walked towards his car without saying a word. Continuing to argue with him about it seemed like a waste of time to you at this point.
Hawk smiled to himself in relief that you gave in. Hurrying after you, he retrieved the first aid kit from the trunk of his car and ran to open the passenger seat door.
“You wanna sit?” He pointed at the seat, motioning you to take it. You dropped your bag and got in the car, still glaring at Hawk.
He seemed sincere in his intentions, but you really just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Who knows what he could really be planning?
As you took your seat, you reached out to take the kit from Hawk’s grasp. “Hold on,” he said, moving the box away from your reach.
You gave him a bothered look, scrunching your eyebrows in confusion. “Have you ever even done this before?” He said, referring to cleaning up after a fight.
“No?” You shrugged, “It can’t be that hard.” You said impatiently, reaching for the box again. “Can you please just let me do it? I’ll show you how for next time.” He practically pleaded, wanting to make sure it was done right so you healed properly.
You didn’t understand why it was such a big deal to him, but you were tired of going back and forth with him. “Whatever, just make it quick. I’ll miss all of karate class at this rate.” You complained, moving closer to the edge of the seat so Hawk could reach you.
The height of his car made you two the same height, so Hawk was face to face with you as you were seated. “Hmm, miss a Miyagi-Do lesson? I don’t see the problem.” He joked, almost making light of their rivalry.
You smiled lightly at that, playfully rolling your eyes, but not saying anything. He stood close enough to examine your face, and it was close enough to make you both nervous.
It was silent as he opened the kit and started to clean your cuts, but you broke it to ask a question that was burning in you. “Why are you doing this?”
He looked at you for a second, looking reluctant to answer your question. “What do you mean?” He dodged, continuing to tend to your bruises.
You laughed, knowing full well he knew what you meant, but deciding to answer him anyway. “Why are you helping me? We aren’t friends.” You said plainly, making sure to keep your face still.
“I don’t know, you just obviously needed it.” He brushed off the seriousness of the question, starting to dab the cloth over your lip so you couldn’t talk.
You pushed his hand away lightly. “That’s hardly an answer. You’d never help a Miyagi-Do, so why?” You snapped, not letting his hand near your face again until he answered.
He finally took a step back, and stared at you looking defeated. “You’re the only one who was ever nice to me. Before.. this.” He pointed to his hair, referring to the era of The Hawk.
You crossed your arms skeptically. “Aren’t you forgetting someone?” You asked expectantly, and he rolled his eyes. “Demetri’s different, okay? He betrayed me. But you..”
He trailed off, struggling to maintain eye contact with you. “You were never anything but good to me. You deserve better.” He said, and your heart both stung and fluttered at once, trying to figure out what was going on with him.
You wondered if his actions were truly coming from a place of sincerity. It was very unlike him to be anything but an asshole, so hearing something like that come out of his mouth really made you think.
He tried to ignore the sentiment he had just said by walking back towards you and starting to tend to your wounds again, but you only pushed him back for a second time.
“I don’t understand what happened to you.” You said sadly, examining the way he stood. “I changed.” He said monotonously, trying to avoid matching your energy of seriousness.
His hot-and-cold temper was starting to annoy you, the way he would open up just to close right back down again.
“Yeah, and not for the better. Are you even happy?” You said, frustrated, looking at him hard. His face turned sour.
“More than I was before!” He yelled, stepping towards you threateningly. You were taken aback at his outburst, suddenly feeling small as he grew angrier. “My life was hell, remember?” His voice cracked, and he tried to calm himself as he saw the way you leaned back into your seat uncomfortably.
“Look, I’m sorry for keeping you, I probably cleaned you up enough so... just go.” He said softly, sounding regretful as he moved out of the way so you could get out of the car.
You furrowed your brows in confusion. You felt completely clueless on how he was feeling, and you didn’t want to leave it like this. “Hawk-“, you started, but he cut you off. “No, just go.” He pointed away. “I was stupid to think I’d get a second chance with you.” He muttered to himself, turning to walk around to the drivers seat of his car.
“Wh— second chance? What do you mean?” You shouted after him and hopped off the seat, grabbing his arm before he could get too far.
At your tug of his arm, he looked back at you with the most intense feeling in his eyes. Not wanting to use his words anymore, Hawk turned to grab your wrist from the hand that was already resting on his arm, and pulled you against him.
Hawk smashed his lips onto yours, holding you loosely in fear of your rejection. You weren’t expecting it, but you didn’t pull away. Your kiss continued and you subconsciously shuffled backwards, now being able to lean against the side of the car as he grew more passionate in his movements.
Being with him like this felt amazing, but it was confusing, too-- you had to pull away and clear up this situation.
Finally letting each other go, Hawk looked at you with glossy eyes. You had no idea where all of this came from or what to say, so you were silent as you waited for him to explain.
He knew what you were waiting for, and sighed deeply before expressing how he felt. “I just feel like after everything, I owe you my best.” Hawk said quietly, and you waited for him to go on, having not yet made up your mind on the whole situation.
You enjoyed the kiss, yes-- but you didn’t understand why it had happened, and that was something you needed to know before anything could proceed further. Hawk was a jerk, and he was going to have a lot of explaining to do for you to suddenly be able to forget that.
He moved even closer, and reached his hand out to brush your hair away from your face. “And I don’t like seeing you hurt.” He whispered, ghosting his fingers across the bruises on your face.
You felt a shiver down your spine as he touched you, closing your eyes in the moment. “And,” he pulled away from you, his voice changing to a more regular tone again, “I don’t ever want to be the reason you feel pain. Not after all those times you helped me escape mine.” He said, reaching out to hold your hand, as he referred to how you were there for him so long ago.
Pure concern and care for Hawk overtook you as the words left his lips, and you had never felt so conflicted in your life. It made sense to you now why he would often avoid you, whereas others he’d make it his mission to pick fights with.
He had just admitted to caring about you, and that he never wanted to be at fault for your hurt. He had a reputation to uphold, but he really did have a soft spot for you that never went away.
You felt like you were talking to Eli again, as though the sweet boy he once was had never left, but you also knew that once this moment was over, he’d go back to his corrupt ways again. And that terrified you.
All these new feelings for Hawk were rising in you, but how could you act on them when he was supposed to be your enemy?
He studied your expression, waiting for you to say something. He felt more confident now, seeing as you kissed him back, but he was still nervous for whatever you were about to say.
“What do we do?” You spoke shakily, your expression timid and lost. He caressed his thumb over your hand, noticing your own nerves. “What do you mean?” He asked, not expecting that to be your first question.
“I’ve always cared about you and you know that, but then you go through all these changes and become a total dick, and now you kiss me and tell me how you care too.” You say awkwardly, trying to point out the weirdness of the situation. “I’m confused, Hawk, and afraid. We can’t be together when everything about our lives will keep us apart.” You whimpered, scattering your eye contact.
His heart leapt at the mention of you two being together, but frowned once registering the context of the words. He suddenly felt guilty, seeing how distressed you were. Maybe he shouldn’t have done this, he thought.
But it was too late now, and as he released your hand to move forward and hold you, he never wanted to let go.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled into your ear. He knew his recent actions since joining Cobra Kai weren’t exactly admirable-- he knew he should do better. But it was hard; and all he could muster right now, was an apology.
There was a lot to process in such a short moment of time, and you felt overwhelmed. You felt comforted and safe as he held you, but at the same time you felt wrong for feeling that way.
Maybe he was trying to do right by you, but would that be enough if he continued to act terribly when everyone else was around? You needed some time to think. “I should go.” You pulled away from his grasp, trying to be gentle even though your exit was abrupt.
“Oh,” he nodded, watching as you picked up your karate bag. “I just don’t want everyone at the dojo to worry.” You said, trying to rid the conversation of its tension.
He was trying to play it cool, but he was screaming on the inside, terrified that once you left you would never talk to him again. “Just promise you’ll fix that when you get home.” Referring to your still-slightly-messed-up face, he urged you, unable to refrain from making sure you took care of yourself.
You smiled sadly and nodded in response, feeling awkward about everything as you turned to walk back on your route towards the dojo. “And um,” You looked back at him once more. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” You said, assuming he wouldn’t want his Cobra Kai friends to find out he had kissed a Miyagi-Do.
His heart broke when you said this-- you basically thought he was ashamed of you? In a way you were right, he didn’t want them to know. But the guilt that spread across his face at your words, showed how badly he wanted to tell everyone just how much he liked you.
Clearing his throat, he tried to pull himself together again. “Right, yeah. See you.” He said, and watched you for a moment as you walked away.
Getting back into his car, he fought the emotions threatening to spill out, and pushed them away as he headed home. He couldn’t stop thinking about his next move, and what would happen next time he saw you.
Obviously the first thing he would want to do is kiss you, and hold you, and touch you.. but he knew that instead he would likely end up being encouraged by his friends to attack you in some way.
He couldn’t just say, ‘back off guys, she’s cool, i like her now.’ because that would definitely earn him a beating and a seat at the rejects table. He had been fighting these feelings for so long because of this exact reason, and he was pissed at himself that he couldn’t have just kept it under control for longer.
It would have been easier for him, and you. Even you were worrying as you walked to practice about what you were going to do when you saw him again. Your friends may be more forgiving than Hawk’s, but you doubted they’d be particularly thrilled about any of this news.
They would surely tell you to be careful, not to trust him, that it was just a game to find a weakness in you. These doubts inflicted your mind constantly, and it sucked that you had to figure all of it out on your own.
You were a half-hour late to karate when you arrived, and luckily Sensei Larusso had the tools to heal the remaining injuries on your face. You explained what happened with Tory, but you didn’t tell them about Hawk.
Your classmates were angry, Sam especially, and you were too. But after everything, you knew nobody in Cobra Kai was really in their right mind. Tory was an out of control girl with aggression issues, and Hawk was constantly battling a feeling of pressure and pent-up rage.
The worst thing about being in Miyagi-Do, was knowing the right way to go, and knowing that the right way was going to be a long, slow, and difficult process. It was a waiting game at this point-- how many fights would it take for the Cobra Kai kids to realize that wasn’t what they needed to do?
How much pain would they all have to endure, to realize there were better ways to solve their problems? You had only hoped that Hawk taking this step towards you was a step in the right direction-- and that maybe the rest of the Cobras would soon follow.
But until then, it was a secret. And the next few times you saw Hawk were an extreme struggle for the both of you.
Each passing day that you’d make eye contact at school, you’d both immediately look away. Neither of you had spoken or even texted since the kiss, and you were both failing miserably at proper communication.
At first, you thought that maybe the whole thing had been a mistake, and maybe it should just be left alone. But recalling everything Hawk said to you that day, you couldn’t ignore how real it felt. You wanted to be with him, but you had no clue how to go about that.
You were waiting for Hawk to make the next move, but to Hawk-- the ball was in your court. You had left him there, with no definite answer on how you felt about it, and never got back to him since. It seemed to him like you wanted to forget about it, so when one of Moon’s parties rolled around that weekend, he decided to forget about it too.
You were coming to the party, but got there late; and what a wonderful sight it was for the first thing to see as you walk in be Hawk, face inches away from another girl’s, flirting the night away.
Of course, you thought, feeling disgusted at what was in front of you. Of course everything he said was bullshit. You couldn’t figure out for the life of you what his goal was in pretending to care for you, especially when he got basically nothing out of it except a stupid kiss he could’ve gotten from anyone-- but clearly none of it was as real as you thought it was.
It’d been a few days, sure, but you thought maybe tonight you’d finally just talk to him. You watched as the girl played with the string of Hawk’s hoodie, and feeling a pang of jealousy you decided to walk by them, making sure your presence was known.
It definitely worked, because at the notice of your movements he excused himself from the conversation and followed you out towards the pool, where you had gone to get away from the sight of Hawk and the girl.
“Hey.” He whispered, as you poured yourself a drink. “Hi.” You replied boredly with your back turned to him, not exactly feeling excited to have a conversation with him.
He looked around, scoping out who may be listening, but luckily the only others outside were heavily invested in the drinking game going on at the other side of the patio.
Hawk could tell you were bothered about the girl, but didn’t understand why, since you had so obviously been avoiding him.
“Can we talk?” He asked, still being cautious as to not attract any attention. “Go ahead.” You were being difficult, but quite frankly you thought he deserved it. He made you spend days analyzing what had happened between you, only for him to move on from it after a few days?
He stomped closer, and you looked up at him. “You know we can’t talk here.” He nodded his head towards the back of the yard, hoping you’d go with him somewhere private.
You scoffed, and looked at the spot doubtfully. You were upset, but still curious to hear what he had to say. “Fine.” You rolled your eyes, feeling disappointed in yourself for giving in, but you couldn’t pretend you weren’t dying to know what the hell he was thinking.
Hawk walked eagerly to the secluded part of Moon’s property, hoping to get some clarity from you. But before Hawk could say anything, your anger got the best of you.
“So what the hell is your problem?” You started, as soon as you knew you were out of earshot from the rest of the party. Hawk looked taken aback, his eyebrows immediately coming together. “Me? What are you talking about?” He said, offended.
You looked at him in disbelief, mouth dropping open slightly. “Are you joking? Are we going to pretend you weren’t just about to make out with that girl in there?” You said, feeling a twinge of hurt from your own words.
His face knotted in confusion and annoyance. “Seriously? You’re jealous right now? After I confessed everything to you, and you avoided me for days afterwards, I was just supposed to think you actually wanted me?” He tried to keep his voice down, but his emotions were getting the better of him.
“What? I just needed some time to think! It’s not like you bothered to text me either!” You whisper-shouted, now feeling like you were missing something.
“Well when you kiss someone and they basically run away from you, who’s responsibility do you think it is to reach out after?!” He threw his arms up in bafflement, looking at you expectantly.
Your face fell to a look of guilt, and eventually his did too. Suddenly you both felt like idiots at how far you jumped to conclusions.
“I was gonna talk to you today. But when I saw you in there with that girl, all these insecurities just came over me. I thought everything you said was just some Cobra prank and it never meant anything.” Your face drooped, feeling a little embarrassed to admit any of this.
His eyes saddened, and he shook his head. “And I just thought you hated me, and that no matter what I said it’d never be enough for you to forgive me.” He explained his own worry, and your eyes started to water at his words.
Feeling overwhelmed after finally being able to piece together what had been going on this whole time, you sprung into his arms, hugging him tightly. You both stayed embraced, enjoying the feeling of comfort from each other once again, until you finally felt strong enough to pull yourself away.
He kept a hand around your head, as though cradling something delicate. “I meant everything I said that day. It’s not a scheme. I want to be with you.” He told you, proving your suspicions wrong.
You smiled weakly, feeling warm at his confession, but nervous for what’s to come. “I’m sorry I never texted you, but I just don’t get how we’re going to do this.” You said, unconvinced. “We can’t tell anyone, and despite whatever we have, there are a lot more reasons why we won’t work than will.” You look away, your mood of happiness faltering at the idea of being realistic.
“I mean, you know I like you Hawk. And maybe it’s different for us, but, I can’t exactly support the way you treat other people.” You say reluctantly, trying not to sound rude. Hawk gulped, looking down shamefully.
Not wanting to think realistically right now, he ignored what you said and pulled you closer. “We’ll figure it out.” He said sweetly, and moved his hand to lift your chin, kissing you tenderly. As nervous as you were about all of it, the way he kissed you somehow seemed to make all your worries disappear.
Just then as your lips met, sirens went off nearby. “Shit, cops?” Hawk said, breaking apart from you. You giggled at the unfortunate turn of events. “You go that way,” you pointed him in the opposite direction of where you were planning to exit, not wanting others to notice you were together. “See you around.” You said playfully, and he caught on to your plan.
Before he could give you a final peck or even say goodbye, you were gone around the corner of the house, and he wondered longingly when he’d finally be able to kiss you again.
The next couple days at school you’d both done your best to avoid looking suspicious with each other. There were many stolen glances, and lots of private texts, but you both somehow managed to keep whatever fling you two had completely under wraps.
Though you had been initially uncomfortable with the whole secret-dating-thing, you eventually gave up on worrying about what would happen if others found out. You were happy, and having a lot of fun sneaking around with Hawk.
You noticed he had even toned down some of his bullying, and your heart felt full at the thought that he might have done that for you. Of course, there were always a few ‘slip-ups’.. but he made sure you weren’t around to see those.
Even if it was difficult, it was thrilling in a way-- having make-out sessions in his car when no one was around to see, and slipping in through each others’ windows at night to see each other...
It was fun, pretending to hate each other by day, and then not being able to stay away from each other by night. It felt like the whole school was being pranked, and you two were the only ones in on it.
It had been a few weeks now since you admitted to liking each other at Moon’s party, and you were now headed to the sports shed near the soccer field where Hawk had asked you to meet him after school.
You’d came here and gotten a little wild with him twice before, so at the invitation you fully expected to be met with an aggressive Hawk, ready to hook up. But instead when you opened the shed door, he was standing shyly and gave you the sweetest smile.
“Hey,” he said, taking a small step forward to meet where you were standing. “Hi, baby,” you grinned and kissed him chastely, taking note of the more innocent energy coming from him today.
He wrapped his arms around you, his eyes examining your face adoringly. “Um,” he said, radiating nervousness and backing up slightly. “What’s up?” You smiled at him curiously, taking his hands in yours.
After only a moment, he released his hands from your hold, and you suddenly felt concerned. Why was he acting so weird? You watched confusedly as he fiddled with the inside pocket of his jacket, not saying a word.
Pulling out a small box, he opened it to reveal a simple but beautiful silver necklace. “Hawk!” You gasped, looking at it in awe. He felt more confident at your reaction, and felt safe to say something again.
“I thought that, since we always have to act around each other, you could wear it as a reminder of how we really feel.” He said, searching your expression for some sort of approval.
You stared at him in admiration, not yet able to find the words to respond. “It’s simple, so nobody will think it means anything, but, we’ll know.” He spoke again, hoping for it to grant a response from you this time.
Your face began to bloom with happiness. Taking the box from his hands, you kissed him passionately. “I love it. Can you put it on me?” You asked cheerfully, and Hawk smiled brightly. “Yeah,” he nodded excitedly, turning you around.
You did your best to move your hair out of the way, and Hawk gently pushed the few stray strands to the side. Feeling his fingers brush across your skin, you breathed heavily. You could feel his own breath hot on your neck, as he clasped the two ends of the jewelry together.
With your back still against his torso, he placed his hands around your waist, starting to leave soft kisses against your ear, and down towards your collarbone.
You closed your eyes, soaking in the feeling, until the door of the shed barged open. You stumbled away from each other in shock, and looked to see Tory standing in front of the both of you.
“I knew it! What the hell is this, Hawk?” She screamed, prowling towards you. Feeling completely unprepared from the utter suddenness of the situation, you stepped back in fear. “What are you doing here!?” Hawk shouted, ignoring Tory’s question as he blocked her path from getting to you.
She sneered at the both of you, stopping as she noticed his protectiveness over you. “I’ve noticed how you sneak off at the end of school. I finally decided to follow you here.” She said matter-of-factly, giving you a glare.
“So what is she, Hawk? Your girlfriend?” She taunted, starting to circle you. Out of everything she’d said so far, that was the thing that actually made you the most nervous. You hadn’t actually used that word before... ‘girlfriend,’ you hadn’t really made it official, despite how much it felt like you already had.
You weren’t sure how Hawk would react now that he was caught, but you desperately hoped he would say, ‘Yes, she is, and I love her.’ But that was nowhere close, to what he said.
“What? No! We’re just having some fun, alright? It doesn’t mean anything.” He forced a laugh, stepping away from you. Your heart ached. This is what you were afraid of. You knew it was probably for the best for him to have said that, but you couldn’t ignore the hurt you felt when you heard him say it.
You wished he would’ve right then and there just admitted it, stood up for himself, and chosen you. He could’ve just told the truth, and left Cobra Kai, and been with you. But you weren’t enough. He had a reputation to uphold.
“Oh, really.” Tory scoffed, barely believing his lie as she looked between the two of you. “You can have fun with anyone, Hawk, and you a choose a Miyagi-Do?” She spat, staring him down, and his usually-confident demeanor diminished instantly. “Break it off, or I tell everyone.”
Storming off, her threat lingered in the air as the two of you stood alone, unable to meet each other’s gazes.
“Maybe we should just end this, Y/N.” Hawk spoke meekly, finally breaking the silence. Your eyes widened in horror, forcing yourself to look up at him. “What?” You said, your voice faltering. “So that’s just it then?”
Tears threatened to spill out of your eyes again as he met your stare. “We don’t have any other choice!” He shouted angrily, getting in your face. Your mouth fell agape at the way he was acting, your expression hardening.
“Yes, we DO!” You shouted back, and sobs started to escape you. You of course meant the choice being he stands up to the Cobras, and fights for your relationship. You understood his dilemma in the beginning, but at this point none of it seemed worth it to you anymore.
His eyes were fixated on you intensely, and his mind was running a mile a minute trying to figure out what to do.
“You can easily stand up to them, the Cobras! You’re stronger than all of them combined. Why won’t you fight for us?” You cried, searching for any sign in his face that showed he regretted his words. He had never said so, but you could tell the only thing holding him back was the fear of the Cobras’ reactions.
His insides scrambled with guilt watching you cry. But he had to stay strong. Unaffected, unfazed, completely unbothered. That’s how he forced his expression to appear as he turned and left the shed, leaving you alone and in pain as you watched your worst fear come true.
“Hawk!” You yelled after him, but he only kept walking. “What happened to never wanting to be the reason I felt pain?” Your voice cracked, and you wiped your tears from your face, giving up.
Your words cut into Hawk like a knife. If even possible, Hawk was hurting more than you. Each step he took farther away from where you stood, he felt his heart scatter into another piece. He wished things could be different, too-- but you were too much of a risk.
Cobra Kai may be a large reason for his troubles, but it was also the only reason he was still on top. He wanted you so bad, but he was too afraid to let go of everything else just to have you.
It was safer this way, he told himself. If nobody knew, you’d be safer. You wouldn’t have to be involved in the drama that would come from it, you wouldn’t have another reason for the Cobras to come after you, and you wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore.
Hawk repeated these things to himself over and over to make himself feel better about the way things ended. But no matter what he told himself, it was never enough for him to fully believe that he made the right choice.
Feeling helpless, you called the only person you thought might understand. “D-Demetri?” You spoke into the phone, taking a gasp for air between sobs.
“Y/N? Are you ok?” He answered, sounding worried. “I need to talk to you, can you-” You paused, trying to catch your breath. “Can you come get me?” You were nervous he wouldn’t be able to, but you needed someone in person, not over text.
You and Demetri weren’t particularly besties, so for you to call him out of the blue, crying, was extremely worrisome to him. “Uh, yeah, okay sure. I only just left so I can turn back.”
Letting out a shaky breath of relief, you thanked Demetri and hung up, walking out of the shed and towards the front of the school to where he would be meeting you. Hawk was supposed to be your ride home, but clearly that was no longer an option.
When Demetri arrived, he didn’t wait for you to get in the car, he immediately got out and walked over to you. “What happened?” He said cautiously, becoming nervous about having to deal with others’ emotions.
He was never particularly great at consolation, being the awkward and blunt person he is-- and he really didn’t want to make things worse for you.
“It’s Eli,” You said, trying to hold back your tears. “I did something really stupid.” Your lip quivered, feeling embarrassed talking about it. You weren’t supposed to tell anyone about you and Hawk, but at this point, you had nothing left to lose.
Demetri looked at you confused. “What do you mean?” To his knowledge, you and Hawk barely conversed, and there should be absolutely no reason whatsoever for you to be crying over him.
The closer you got to explaining it, the harder it got to contain your emotions. Despite knowing Demetri wasn’t very keen on hugs, you ran into him, desperate for the feeling of comfort.
At this point, Demetri’s level of concern was on the rise. Why on earth would you hug him? That’s never happened before. “I just thought you’d be the only one who would understand... if I told someone.” You spoke, words slightly muffled as you were pressed into his chest.
Reluctantly, Demetri accepted your hug and rested his arms around you. “Okay, Y/N, you’re scaring me. What did he do?” He asked, looking down at you.
Gaining the courage to explain yourself, to Demetri’s relief you let go of him and steadied your breathing. “A few weeks ago.. Hawk and I kissed.” You said hesitantly, preparing for the worst.
“What?” Demetri’s face scrunched into the most confused and offended look you’d ever seen him wear. “I know, okay, just wait.” You told him, hoping he would hear you out.
“I thought it was just a stupid mistake, or something?” You began, recalling the uncertainty you felt when it first happened. “But then he said all this stuff about how much he cared about me, and it turns out we actually have something real.”
Aware of the weirdness of what you were saying, you looked to see how Demetri was handling it. He showed a look of understanding, but you could tell he was simply masking the discomfort he was truly feeling. “It was really confusing at first, but then we started secretly dating.. because we knew everyone would flip if they found out.” You continued, the awkwardness worsening with each sentence spoken.
Demetri’s eyebrows rose. “Dating?” You visibly cringed at the reaction, but carried on with your story. “And he even started being nicer to people!” You mentioned, hoping to make the situation seem like you weren’t a complete idiot for allowing it to happen. “Because, I told him I didn’t think I could be with him-- with the way he treats people, you know? And things were actually going well until today--”
You took a moment, preparing the end of your explanation in the hopes you wouldn’t start to cry through it. Demetri looked at you impatiently.
“When Tory found us together and threatened to tell everyone about us if we didn’t break it off, and then Hawk just left me there and said that we should end things because he’s a coward and can’t do what’s right because HE WANTS TO LOOK COOL.” You shouted, running through the sentences fast and furiously. Instead of getting sad like you thought you would, you got angry. Ah yes, another stage of grief.
Demetri looked slightly scared of you at your sudden tantrum, but having heard your story, he did understand what you were feeling-- because in a way, it had happened to him too. This time, it was him who reached out to hug you, and you appreciated him for it. Hugs always seemed to make you feel calm.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I know how it feels. He’s stuck right now, but we can’t give up, okay? He’ll come around.” He said honestly, awkwardly patting your back. You laughed a tiny bit, seeing Demetri trying to console, but you were grateful for his presence.
You released each other from the hug, and you wiped any leftover tears off of your face. “Thanks, Demetri.” You said, smiling sweetly. He nodded, placing his hand on your arm in reassurance, and motioned for you to follow to his car.
The ride back to your house was quiet, but your thoughts were busy and loud. That’s how things were for awhile after that day. You kept to yourself again, and though you tried to look alive, you felt like you had retreated back inside the bubble you worked so hard to get out of.
You went to school, you went to karate, you did whatever responsibilities you had to do-- but for the rest of your free time, you spent it alone in your room, wondering what it would take for Hawk to come back to you.
It was unhealthy, really, how you would wait everyday for a sign of acknowledgement from Hawk, and decline any other social invitation because you never got one.
You even wore the necklace, everyday, in hopes that he’d notice and remember how much you meant to him. But it never worked. He never came back.
You got away with the isolation for awhile, but people were starting to notice how you’ve been pulling away. At least you had Demetri to cover for you once and awhile, to help keep up the facade that you were okay.
Because, you weren’t. You wondered if Hawk was, though. He certainly seemed like he was okay, but he couldn’t be. For your own peace of mind, you had to think he couldn’t be. To think that he was doing just fine while you were spending your days miserable, wouldn’t be fair.
He’s stuck right now, but he’ll come around. Demetri’s words echoed in your head, wondering if they were even true. Would he ever really come around? Is he in too deep? The thoughts scared you beyond belief, but as more days passed, the more you believed them.
You eventually forced yourself to stop caring. To stop thinking about it, and to just give it up. You’d spent too long waiting for him, and you were done letting his actions control your happiness. Although there was a part of you that could never really stop caring, you convinced yourself that it was gone.
After a few weeks, you stopped wearing the necklace. When you showed up to school without it on, it was the first time Hawk had noticeably looked at you since the breakup. He always avoided your eye contact, but that day he locked them onto yours as you passed him in the hall. His gaze flickered from your eyes to your neck, and you could see the glum look all over his face.
As much as you wanted to give in to the hope that he missed you, you ignored it. You weren’t going to let any of those thoughts in again-- not when you already worked so hard to let go of them.
Hawk watched you make your way through the corridors, hardly caring who noticed. While you may have had the ability to attempt to move on, he didn’t. It was his fault any of this happened after all, and it was completely up to him whether or not he could fix things between you.
The pressure of knowing he was the only reason for your and his despair was agonizing, and with the necklace no longer around your neck, he realized he was running out of time.
Time is what he thought he had, to turn things around for himself, and you. But his window was closing, and he was panicking.
Not knowing what else to do, Hawk waited a few blocks away from where you trained at Miyagi-Do, knowing he’d catch you on your walk home.
Making your way down the sidewalk after practice, you were completely unsuspecting when Hawk jumped out of his car and jogged towards you.
Things had really come full circle now, hadn’t they? You, walking home on that same sidewalk, pure disgust for Hawk in your veins as he tried to catch up with you.
You stopped short as Hawk stood in front of you, blocking your path. You were nervous and confused at his intrusion, and decided not to bother avoiding him right now.
His stare towards you was intense, and you only glared back, waiting for him to say what he needed to say.
“You stopped wearing the necklace.” He said it so plainly, you couldn’t tell what kind of response he was looking for. It seemed almost like a question in disguise-- why did you stop wearing the necklace, perhaps?
He was looking at you eagerly, though trying to hide the desperation behind the statement.
“Yeah, and?” You laughed at him, matching his tone of carelessness. He looked like he didn’t understand, so you continued. “What’d you expect? That I’d just keep waiting for you?” You said unpleasantly, with a hint of sadness in your own voice.
A shameful look glossed over his features, but you only kept going. “It’s obvious you’re not coming back, Hawk.” You smile at him mockingly, enjoying the feeling of guilt you were giving him.
He tried to stay strong, but every word you spoke was like a hit to his built-up walls, and they were so close to falling down.
“I spent weeks wondering what I’d have to do to get you to come back to me. To choose me.” You said, your voice calm, but the rest of you not. Your body was shaking with anger now, but your eyes were brimming with tears.
“Until,” You sniffled, gaining a tone of indifference, “I finally realized there was nothing for me to do. You just weren’t coming.” You were almost smiling through the pain, and Hawk looked at you in a loss for words.
You appeared so fragile to him, he just wanted to wrap you in his arms and spout apology after apology for what he’d caused. Seeing your eyes squint in attempt to hold back the waterworks, physically pained him.
“So yeah, I stopped wearing the necklace. But you know what?” You stepped forward confidently, despite the single tear that had just fallen down your face. “I think it hurt more wearing it than it did taking it off.” You finished with hardly any emotion in your voice, and Hawk looked mortified seeing you try to act so unaffected.
He had been silent through your whole exchange, because he knew there was nothing he could say now to make things better. He had done too much damage, and he had caused you too much pain. He did exactly what he said he’d never do.
You waited for him to say something, anything-- but as your eyes bore into his strongly, he couldn’t find the courage to speak. The disappointment was immense, and feeling hopeless once again, you pushed past him to go home.
Panicking at your leave, Hawk grabbed onto your arm. “Y/N, Wait, please-” “No!” You cut him off, looking at him coldly. His face was red, and his eyes were stinging now, too. Ignoring the feeling you got when you saw him like that, you ripped your arm from his grasp. “I’ve waited long enough.”
You turned to leave again, and this time, Hawk didn’t follow. There was only one thing Hawk could do now to get you back, and you knew he wasn’t ready for it. There was no use in you hanging around for him anymore, you deserved better. You deserved someone who cared enough that they’d do what it takes to be with you, regardless of social status.
You didn’t even care if he stayed in Cobra Kai, you just wanted him to stand up to his friends and be proud that he was with you. Didn’t he realize that he was one of the strongest Cobras, and that he could get through any of their shit? If his biggest problem was Tory, he hardly had any reason to stay quiet. You knew deep down he could do better.
Hawk hadn’t understood that then, but as he lingered on you walking away, something clicked in his head.
Maybe he really could do better. He wanted to, for you. He was still terrified at the idea of coming clean to the Cobras, but whatever he’d deal with from that couldn’t be any worse than being without you.
He liked the power he had being in Cobra Kai, and he hoped that he could keep it-- but if losing the power meant gaining you, at this point he was totally okay with that risk. But, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t at least try to negotiate with his friends first.
“Y/N!” It was a new day at school, and you were walking side by side Sam heading to your lunch table when he called your name. You shared a look with Sam, glancing towards him with a bothered look upon your face. “Come here!” Hawk shouted again, apparently not caring that the whole cafeteria had his attention.
A look of dread spread across your face, and you slammed your lunch tray on your friends’ table in defeat before stomping over to where Hawk and his asshole friends sat. Your friends watched from afar, completely clueless as to what Hawk would need you for, and Demetri struggled to pretend he was just as lost as they were.
“What.” You said bluntly, staring him and the rest of his table down. “Yeah, seriously, what are you doing calling her over here?” Mitch asked, looking at you in revulsion, and you rolled your eyes at him.
Hawk looked between you and his friends, struggling to keep his confident manner in tact, and sighed uncomfortably. “I know we don’t like the Miyagi-Dos. And we don’t like the way they run their dojo.” He stated, hoping to hook his friends in by starting negatively towards their rivals.
His friends looked at him in reluctance, wondering where he was going with this-- and you did too. “But I love Y/N.” He said loudly, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, and looking around at his friends. He was more nervous to see your reaction than theirs, so he barely looked at you once he said it.
“What?” The words came strongly from not only his friends, but you, too. He had never told you that before, and your heart melted at his declaration. When you spoke, he gathered the courage to look at you, and you’d never seen him so nervous.
“I love you.” He repeated, looking you in the eyes. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, and on top of that he was announcing it to the whole school. You glanced over to see Demetri, mouth ajar, observing the interaction like it were a movie.
He meant it, and you could tell. He was waiting on you for a response, feeling more stress than he’d felt in a long time as he studied your bewildered expression.
Before you could say anything, Bert interrupted the moment. “You can’t love a Miyagi-Do. They’re stuck-up pansies who think they’re better than us.” He said, completely convinced that Hawk was out of his mind and needed a wake-up call.
Hawk cringed a little at the feedback, but was surprised when you decided to bite back. “I joined Miyagi-Do because I was tired of people getting bullied. You all choose violence when it isn’t needed, so I just wanted to be prepared.” You defended your intentions, fearlessly.
Tory snorted. “Oh yeah? And how’s that working out for you?” She jabbed, trying to make fun of your self defense skills. Before you could retort, Hawk slammed his hand down on the table and leaned in towards his peers.
“Listen! I’m with you guys, but she’s right. We’ve been reckless.” He said carefully, trying to keep a balance between who’s side he was on. “Sensei told us to fight smart, and we haven’t been.” He locked eyes with Tory, clearly sending her a message.
You watched as Hawk tried to reason with them, admiring his every move. Keeping up his confidence, he set down what was going to happen, and there’d be no arguments against it. “You guys can hate the Miyagi-Dos all you want, but I’m going to be with Y/N, and I’m staying in Cobra Kai.”
Interlacing his hand with yours, he looked at you pridefully before turning back to the outraged looks on his friends’ faces. “From now on, if any one of you touches her, you deal with me. That’s of course if she doesn’t kick your ass first.” He said smugly, and you smiled widely, feeling content at his speech.
Your heart was jumping out of your chest at the gesture he made, and you wanted to smash your lips onto his and tell him how much you loved him back-- but you kept yourself restrained for the sake of the situation.
Most of the Cobras nodded nervously at his announcement, not wanting to challenge Hawk when he was so sure of himself. But Tory wasn’t having it. “You guys can’t seriously be okay with this?” She snapped, death-glaring the entire table.
The group looked like they were trying to decide whether they were more afraid of Hawk, or Tory. You smiled to yourself, knowing that no matter their reaction, you had won this, because you were with him now. It would certainly be a bonus if you gained their acceptance, though.
Mitch looked around in uncertainty about what he was going to say, but stuck up for Hawk. “Come on Tory, I mean, I get it... she’s hot.” He said referring to you, and you laughed a little at the shallow but positive response.
Hawk wasn’t as pleased with it though. “Hey.” He threatened, pointing a finger at Mitch. You giggled slightly at his jealous reaction, but pulled him back from Mitch by the hand you were holding his with. Mitch raised his hands in surrender, and Tory stood from the table, getting close to the both of you.
“You’d better sleep with one eye open, assholes.” She spat, and stormed away from the table. It went better than you would’ve thought, truthfully. Everyone else was loyal to Hawk, and you didn’t really expect anything less from Tory. Again, having Tory be your only threat seemed like small potatoes now that you two were together.
You nodded at the rest of the Cobras in respect, and with that whole thing being over, you tugged him by the hand towards your table of Miyagi-Dos. Hawk groaned, realizing where you were taking him, but did his best to stay civil.
Chris glowered at the both of you, and Sam looked a little disappointed, but she tried to look supportive. “So.... yeah. Sorry.” You said sheepishly, knowing that they had already heard everything.
“I’m glad it finally worked out.” Demetri said through a sad smile. You felt a little bad, knowing that Demetri still needed to work out his relationship with Hawk, and here you were rubbing yours in his face. That would be your next mission, you suppose-- operation get Demetri and Hawk to be friends again.
“Thanks, Dem.” You said appreciatively, and Hawk looked suspiciously between the two of you. “Wait, did you tell him before?” He asked defensively. The whole table looked to you and Demetri curiously, and you crossed your arms sassily.
“Uh, did I call someone to come get me after you left me alone in a shed? Yeah.” You recovered, your facial expression sly as you knew he couldn’t come back from that one. The others looked at him exasperatedly at your response, and his face dropped instantly.
“Oh my god, Y/N I am so sorry about that.” He cowered, immediately dropping it, and you laughed at the remorse he was finally showing. You already knew he was sorry, but you guess it was nice to hear him say it.
He didn’t understand why you were laughing, though. He felt awful. And he also really needed a chance to completely apologize to you in private, now that he had already confessed his true feelings.
Suddenly, he picked you up entirely, arms holding your legs and you wrapped your arms around his neck instinctively. “Whoah, what is happening?” You laughed, looking at your friends who all looked just as puzzled as you.
Without saying anything else, he took off out of the lunch room carrying you, and made his way to the nearest exit to the outdoors. “Babe, where are we going?” You cackled, amused at the adventure he was taking you on.
Finally outside and alone, he let you down gently in front of him, and took your hands in his lightly. “I’m so sorry. For all of it. I was a complete idiot for letting you go. You knew all along that we could do it, and I was too busy being a pussy to even try. And I’m really sorry for everything that went down today, I hope you aren’t mad, I literally told you I loved you in front of everyone and that must’ve been awkward, I mean you didn’t even get to respond, which, now that I think about it maybe you didn’t want to, or--”
You silenced his rambling with a forceful kiss, grabbing the sides of his face with your hands. “I love you too, Hawk.” You said, pulling away from the kiss quickly, to give him the response he had been looking for.
He smiled big in return, and it turned your insides to mush. “You know, I realized we never got the chance to make things official.” He looked up at you cutely and you smiled back, knowing what was coming.
“So, will you be my girlfriend?” He asked charmingly, his face mere inches from yours. Blushing furiously, you nodded as you touched your forehead to his. “Mhm,” You said in agreement, grinning.
He took a moment, just admiring the look of you so happy, and with his manner still playful, he reminded you of something you had said before. “See? I came back to you.” He said proudly.
You looked at him lovingly, feeling a little emotional at the sentiment. His expression turned serious now, and he parted from you only slightly. “I’m gonna do better for you, Y/N. I promise.” He spoke lowly, and you put your hands on his shoulders, beaming at him in acknowledgement.
You stepped forwards again, getting closer to him. He gave a seductive smirk at your movement, and you subconsciously traced your fingers along his neck, fixated on his face more than anything.
Hawk stared back at you affectionately, his attention flickering down towards your lips. Feeling bold, he placed his hands dangerously low on your waist, and pulled you in roughly for another kiss. You quickly reacted, letting your hands travel to the nape of his neck, your mouth opening slightly-- allowing Hawk the opportunity to deepen the kiss.
Your lips stayed connected as Hawk’s hands made their way up your back, his chest pressing closer to yours. As much as you wanted to continue, you were in broad daylight right outside the halls of your school-- and you really didn’t want a detention for too much PDA.
“Mm, Hawk-” You giggled, breaking away from him. “Hm?” He smiled, his hands resting loosely on your waist as he pecked your lips again before letting you free. “If we don’t go back in soon we’ll miss the whole lunch period.” You said, disappointedly.
“Eh, that’s fine with me.” He shrugged, smirking at you as he clutched you closer. You scoffed playfully, hitting him lightly, and gave him one last kiss before escaping his grip.
He pouted at you, and you looked back at him mischievously. He missed your touch already, so he snaked his arm around your waist as you walked back inside to satisfy his need of holding you.
You felt on top of the world with him by your side, now having full confidence in him and his feelings for you. “It’s a good thing I still have the necklace, huh?” You teased, looking back up at him, and Hawk smiled, tilting his head to meet your gaze.
Though your comment may have only been a joke, both of you felt whole at the idea of you wearing the necklace-- and as you walked joyfully through the halls with him, you knew you’d never be taking it off again.
------------------------------------------------------
i just wanna talk about real quick how much i cringe when writing like its actually terrible how much i cringe at myself so idk if i’ll keep doing fics or not HAHAH but y’all can always send requests and i’ll get around to them if i can. hope yall liked this one tho and made it through the whole thing cuz yikes.
#cobra kai#eli moskowitz#eli hawk moskowitz#hawk#jacob bertrand#eli hawk moskowitz cobra kai#eli moskowitz cobra kai#hawk moskowitz#hawk cobra kai#cobra kai hawk#hawk moskowitz cobra kai#eli moskowitz imagine#hawk imagine#eli hawk moskowitz imagine
341 notes
·
View notes
Text
twin stars ‹ masterlist › have you ever
𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢
Iwaizumi had forgotten how rowdy his friends are, and one isn't physically present.
He had not seen any of his friends since the wedding and even then he didn't get to see and chat with them very long, he was out of it that day. But here he is on a Friday night, with YN sitting beside him per request of the three dumbasses sitting across from them; Maki and Mattsun with Oikawa on their phone screen, demanding attention like the needy shit he has always been.
He feels you more than he hears you laugh at whatever the others are telling you and he takes a chance to take a peek, as if he hasn't been doing that since you walked out of the room to go out with him.
Your short black skirt that he had already thought was short when you were standing is even shorter now as you sat, it barely covered your ass, leaving your beautiful legs on display for all the perverts. On top of that you wore a skin tight shirt that had a boob window and he has been wanting to punch every creep that keeps on looking at it. He wants to snarl at every single person that makes a double take on her, of course she's beautiful.
She's also too good for anyone out there.
He relaxes as he watches her laugh freely, her cheeks tinted pink, her eyelashes wet from laughing so hard at his friends antics. He decided he should bring her to these reunions from now on, take her out more, she must feel lonely just doing school work and being at home since most of her friends are to engrossed on their future or on their relationships.
"Earth to Iwachan!" He felt someone smack his head, finding the culprit to be a smirking Mattsun, "We get it! You're married and happy, I mean..." Mattsun, Maki and Oikawa all turn to look at YN, "I can blame you, YN has always been the most beautiful woman in our life."
YN, used to their flirty but harmless antics snorts at it, "That's not what I heard when Hajime and I walked in as you fucked that 2nd year cheerleader. What has her name again? Mina?" She smirked at it, making Iwaizumi laugh at the memory. He had been horrified and had accidentally pulled you into the bathroom instead of running outside. Both stuffed uncomfortably in there while hearing Mattsun pound (roughly) into the poor girl until the cheerleader moaned out a 'Daddy' to Mattsun, making you both laugh and interrupted them.
Mattsun laughed at it, "I can still hear you both laughing about it! What's so wrong about having a Daddy kink, huh? YOU KINK SHAMERS!"
"You weren't even close to daddy age, Mattsun!" YN joined Iwaizumi's laughter, leaning against him for support, "You were only 18, what's so 'daddy' about that!?"
Mattsun only huffed at that and Iwaizumi thought that maybe he was angry, the slight scowl on his face as he watched YN grip his bicep as she hid behind him from laughter remained there for a long time afterwards.
―
YN had just gotten up for the bathroom when his friends sharp glances turned to him. Usually, he would ignore it since it really wasn't their business, but he know from experience that if he keeps on avoiding it, they'll get worse.
Taking a sip from his beer and without sparing a glance to any of them, he gives. "Just spit it out."
It wasn't a surprise that shittykawa was the one to initiate it, "I can't believe YN took your stupid ass in marriage."
He turned to glare at his friend on the screen, "What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that she could've and SHOULD HAVE gone for someone who is emotionally available and isn't still chasing after his ex."
"I- this marriage is just - it's-"
"It's what?" Mattsun interrupts him, "Convenience? Because she's your friend, so its comfortable? You think that's fair?" He scoffs at Iwaizumi and it makes him feel small, "She's so in love with you and you don't even see it," he points at his, harshly poking his chest, "its so infuriating seeing you chasing after that other bitch when YN has always been right there!" He takes a swing of his drink, obviously irritated with his wedded friend.
"I- its-... she isn't in love with me, we're friends, best friends." What the hell is wrong with his friends? "What the hell is this? Why do any of you care about me and yn? You guys said you were happy about me marrying her!"
"We were, until we saw that you aren't in love with her."
Iwaizumi feels his heart drop at his friends deadpanned expressions. He doesn't regret marrying YN, he just wishes he had done it under normal circumstances.
"I'm trying."
"We know Iwachan," he looks up to see Oikawa giving him a pained smile, "But you need to cut off Jae for good. YN deserves at least that."
"Speaking of the queen of Rome... someone is following her."
Iwaizumi feels his body tense at Mattsun's words, someone is following you? He turns a bit to catch you fast walking towards their table, a worried expression on your face. He can also see the creep walking behind you, eyeing you hungrily.
He doesn't like it.
Once she makes it to the table, all of the boys can see how out of breath she is and wonder just how long she's been trying to avoid him. She sits beside Iwaizumi, meeting no one's eye and soon enough the guy is there with a smirk, "Hey baby, why did you runaway? Come on, ditch these losers and come with me instead."
He has no right, Iwaizumi knows that he has no right to get so mad at this perverts words but he can't help the possessiveness that is pouring out of himself, blinded by rage, he acts on impulse.
Iwaizumi pulls her close to him, seating her casually on his lap and looking square at this randos eye, says, "She's taken, beat it."
When he notices that the other one is about to open his mouth, he cuts him off by kissing her instead.
The last time he had kissed her was while she was drunk and it hadn't felt right to return it since she was very out of it. Now though? Now, they're both pretty sober and in public. His friends are at arms length and he can't find it in himself to give a damn when your lips feel like the softest pillows ever.
He gripped the back of her neck to angle her face and kiss her deeply, he was surprised to feel her kissing him back with the same fervor. She took the hand he had on her knee up to her thigh, which he gripped on immediately and pressed her chest against his, her small hands clutching his shoulders as if her life depended on it.
At the back of his mind, he could hear his friends wolf whistles and a couple of others exclaiming at the way they were making out, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. She was here, she was present and so warm underneath his fingers, her lips following his, her tongue exploring his mouth just as he was with her.
He didn't know for how long they had been kissing, but when he slightly pulled apart, her lips were red and swollen, her eyes sparkled and shined like diamonds underneath the sunlight. She looked adorable and he felt his heart throb painfully in his chest.
"Well... I guess I'm not the only exhibitionist anymore, huh?"
His friends laughed when YN started to blush and the implication that was made. With Iwaizumi still feeling a bit high from what had happened, he pulled her against him close, his grip tight and barked, "Leave her alone, you pervs."
After a few jabs directed to him, they continued as if nothing had happened, though he did catch them stealing glances at him with raised eyebrows, questioning his actions at the passionate kiss he shared with her.
I don't know what's happening either, he thought as he peered down to look at her face, feeling himself blush at how small and comfortable she looked in this lap, in his arms, but I know I'm in trouble.
―
When they got home later that night, he feels himself feeling hot and bothered by every move you make. You way your hanged your purse at the entrance, the way you shook your hair out of its up do, the way you leaned forward to take of your heels.
He followed you down the hall to your shared room, watching the way your hips moved side to side tantalizingly. His hand itched, he wanted to move closer and glue himself to your back, to hold your waist in one hand as the other guided your head to kiss him, to have the hand on your waist dip down and shove his digits in your panties to find them soaking wet, to hear you sigh out his name "Hajime, please."
"Hajime."
"...Hajime?"
Your solid voice pulled him out of his trance, a blush adorning his face in shame. I need to snap out of it, its too late to be so horny about my best friend. "Yeah mochi?"
"I um..." He noticed they way she was twirling her hair around, a nervous habit she's had since they were kids and wondered what could have her in such a state. "I- urgh, there's no easy way to say it."
She smacked herself in that moment. "Mochi?!"
He would've moved forward, if it wasn't for the solid gaze she had, her shoulders pulled back, full of intent.
"Hajime, I want you to take my virginity."
... What
When words run dry,
he does not try,
nor do I.
We are on par.
He just is,
I just am
and we just are.
He and I - Lang Leav
taglist ! @daphnxy @zukoslosthishonor @i-am-a-hoe-for-shinya @mrsdoradominguez-barnes @anejuuuuoy
a/n! went on vacation and forgot to queue the post for this chapter, im so sorry, my bad D:
#owwaw#owwaw💔#iwaizumi fic#iwaizumi hajime fic#iwaizumi hajime x reader#iwaizumi smut#this a suggestive chapter not a lot is happening but just to be safe
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
stop thinking
summary - you meet pete at a seven eleven
word count - 1.2k
warnings - suggested underage drinking
authors note - i don’t really know where this story came from, but im contemplating whether or not i wanna write a part two. if you have any thoughts on this story, feel free to share them with me! thanks for reading :)
It’s 2 am at your local seven eleven and you’re just there so you can buy bread. You need fucking bread to make some fucking toast because your stomach will not stop rumbling and you cannot keep anything else down.
Bugs flicker in the yellow lights as you pull up, vision blurry and tired. You’re hoping you won’t run into trouble- you usually avoid seven elevens at this time of night because of the trouble they cause. Especially this one. It’s too close to the college campus for your liking, but the one by your house is closed. Of fucking course.
Slamming the car into park, you stumble out of the car door. Sweat sticks your hair to the back of your neck and your mouth is bone dry. Bread. Fucking bread. That’s all you need.
Before you can stumble through the doors, a voice calls out to you from the shadows. “Kid,” it slurs, ”you ‘right?”
“Yes,” you breathe and pull on the handle. It’s locked, and you can feel dread building in the pit of your stomach.
“Waddya need, kid?” A man- a boy, really, although he's tall, you can tell he’s not much older than you- steps out of the shadows. His eyes are dark, heavy, as they trace down your body slowly. You feel exposed.
“Jus’ need some bread,” you mutter, jaw clenched.
“Bread?” He laughs, approaching you slowly. You tug on the handle.
“Love, that door ain’t gonna open. Those cashiers’re screwing in the back room and they don’t give two shits about your… bread.” He tilts his head back, dark eyes glinting in the low light.
“I’m, uh, I guess I’ll just go home then,” you say quietly, hand dropping from the cold metal handle as you turn to your car.
“Woah-ho kid, where you going?” The boy asks, leaning against the brick wall. He tilts a bottle to his lips, spilling some of it down his chin. He doesn’t seem to notice. “What’s goin on?”
You shrug, watching him carefully. “Don’t feel so good.”
“Don’t feel so good?” His bright red lips parted into a smile, “Y’know what’ll fix that?”
Shaking your head, you look at the ground. You’re not sure what he wants, but it can’t be good.
“Here, take this,” he says, thrusting the bottle towards you. You flinch back, eyes growing steely. “Woah there cowboy,” he says, chuckling. “It’s just vodka.”
You stare at the bottle and the clear liquid inside, a headache pounding its way into your skull. “Uh- no thanks-“
He rolls his eyes, still with a smile. “It’s not drugged. I just took a swig of it, ya saw me.”
The orange lights flicker over his face.
He doesn’t look as scary- maybe twenty-two at most, and his lips are cracked and raw. His eyes are ringed with dark circles, but they’re not the narrowed predator’s eyes you've seen before. Just glazed, slightly red, and unfocused. His hands shake slightly and his left shoe is untied, dark locks of hair wild around his head.
“Here, take it,” he says, holding out the bottle again.
Hesitantly, you grasp the cheap plastic in your fingers. He looks at you expectantly. “Drink it, yeah? It’ll help your stomach.”
It burns your nose and mouth when you bring it to your lips, taking a huge gulp. It stings as it falls down into your stomach, and you're sure you've made a mistake. “Jesus,” you gasp, coughing.
He takes the bottle back, a frown playing on his features. “Christ, kid, big gulp. You drink?”
You nod, willing your stomach to be strong. You clutch it, hoping you won’t puke all over the sidewalk in front of the convenience store.
“Goddamn,” he laughs, throwing his head back and swigging the vodka. “How old are ya? Seventeen, eighteen?”
You don’t answer, just stare at the ground as the warmth starts to flood through your veins. Vodka always burns your skin up- it makes your tongue swell and the tips of your ears red and hot.
At least your stomach feels a bit better.
“I’m Pete, by the way,” he says, sticking out a hand. You ignore it. He thinks, then asks, “want more?”
You take the bottle from his large, outstretched hand. The vodka burns your lips this time around, and your head is spinning a little faster, the shadows surrounding you starting to become long and weird.
You stare at your hands- Fuck. You can’t fucking drive. You start towards your car, still clutching the bottle.
“Woah, woah, hold on,” he says, stumbling after you. “You jus’ had a couple a’ shots of vodka. You are not driving any fuckin’ car.”
“Watch me,” you snarl, getting in.
“Hold on-“ he says. “Just stay here.” You shake your head and slam the door shut behind you. Stepping on the gas, you accelerate out of the parking lot- and right into a concrete divider.
The impact slams your head to the side, worsening the dark ache in your head to one that is now intense and bright. “Shit!” You bellow, slamming the steering wheel with closed fists.
Pete is there in an instant, still holding the bottle. “Told you,” he says, smiling.
“Fuck off,” you growl through gritted teeth, and then your life flashes before your eyes.
DUI. MIP. Car accident. Money. Your parents are going to fucking gut you. Tears slide out of your eyes and onto your red cheeks.
“Hey, hey, hold on,” Pete says. “Stop. Stop it. Stop thinking.”
“W-What?” You ask, sniffing.
“Don’t think about that shit. I saw you doing it. It’s not a fucking problem. Now, you can wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is a good time to deal with this. Right now?” He shakes his head, glancing around.
“No. Now is for getting as drunk as you can, so you don’t have to think about it.”
You can’t argue with his logic, so you follow him slowly out of the smashed car and back to the convenience store, where the two of you sit on the curb. An ice cooler runs next to you as you pass bottles back and forth, numbing your mind and tongue.
Pete, as it turns out, is simply fascinating. Not just because of the stories he tells you, but because of the way he tells them and the way they make you feel. He shares these glimpses into his life with you in such a way that makes you feel as though you were there with him making these memories, as though you knew him from long before. You wish you could talk to him forever. You spent the entire night with him, shoulder to shoulder, talking.
Slowly, you woke up, the ache in your skull acutely painful as you squint your eyes in the bright early morning sunlight. And after a moment, you saw them. Your parents, standing over you like vultures.
Shit. You crashed a fucking car at the seven eleven while you were drunk. You look around for Pete, for his support- but he’s gone. He probably left when the sun rose.
All that’s left is a number scribbled on a small piece of paper and an empty vodka bottle at your side, which you can’t even hope to hide.
73 notes
·
View notes
Text
pain but make it beautiful- p.js
characters: quidditch player! jisung, hufflepuff! jisung, ravenclaw! reader ft. hufflepuff! jeno, hufflepuff! mark
an; uh this is the first of the nct dream hogwarts au series and mark doesnt have a hogwarts au so i gotta get him into all of them somehow
"come on y/n you have to talk to him at some point, im sick and tired of you staring at him like a lost puppy" jeno drawled, commenting on the way you were currently staring at park jisung, the star player for hufflepuff. he was currently sat on the hufflepuff table- where jeno should be- talking to his own friends. "i am not staring at him i am merely observing him" you replied back with a slight scowl on your face. the tall boy had caught your attention since the time he messed up in Slughorns potions class 3 years ago. the slight infatuation then developed into feelings after you started watching him during matches and practice from the window of the medical room where you were madam Pomfreys assistant, mainly for extra credit. "yeah sure you were. you know if youd just talk to him then maybe youd find out he is always staring at you in potions when you arent looking. youre both so oblivious it pains me" jeno let out an exasperated sigh, slouching in his seat and laying his cheek on the arm resting against the ravenclaw table. "excuse you, hes probably staring at sienna. theres no way he would even notice me" you muttered, discarding your half eaten toast slathered in nutella back onto your plate before standing up. "now, i have to get to the medical room to wait for the quidditch match to begin"
jisung watched as you left the hall, hair slightly blowing behind you along with your robe as you took quick steps. his eyes followed your figure, tuning out the conversation of the rest of his fellow hufflepuff players until you disappeared from his sight. "hey, park, are you listening or just staring at your girlfriend?" his captain elbowed him making him jolt before whipping his head to face him. "huh?" but before the captain could tease him any further, a disheartened and slightly irritated lee jeno flopped down on his seat at the hufflepuff table. "if one of you doesnt fucking confess in a week im grabbing your necks and forcing you to kiss" he seethed, glaring at jisung whos eyes had widened. "no way! shes y/n l/n, princess of the ravenclaws and practically untouchable, im just park jisung who likes to play quidditch" he quickly turned down even the thought of confessing. at his total obliviousness, the whole table groaned, slamming their heads onto the table.
later that week, you were sat in the medical room, jotting down extra notes for your potions and herbology classes. hearing the door to the room creak open, you turn your attention from the words neatly written in your notebook to the entrance. masking your shock and worry with a smile, you stood up and walked towards the captain of the hufflepuff quidditch team who was supporting an ill looking jisung. "you two okay?" you asked, your stare on jisung lingering a little longer before looking towards the captain who had a frown on his face. "jisungs got the flu, conveniently before our match against slytherin next week" he explained, watching as you cleared up a bed for jisung. "oh, im so sorry you must be feeling awful" you said softly to jisung who wanted to say something in return, but his throat was too sore to even swallow. wincing at the painful sounding cough he let out, you nodded towards the captain. "i’ll take care of him mark, dont worry" you sent him a smile to try and ease any nerves he had about this. after all, a match against slytherin with their star player either benched or feeling sick and unfocused throughout the game would not end well. "thank you so much y/n, youre really a god send" mark sent you a final smile before jogging away, leaving you to tend to the poorly boy. you got jisung to lay down, specifically in the bed that was next to the window so he wouldn’t get too bored. not that he could get bored with your pretty face to stare at, that is. "jisung just get some rest, when you wake up i’ll still be here so if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask" you said gently, already filling up a cup of water and placing it on the table next to him. "t-thank you" jisungs deep raspy voice attempted to show how grateful he was, but he was utterly horrified at how weak and feeble he sounded. you couldnt help but feel sorry for the boy as it definitely sounded hoarse and painful. sending him a nod, you went back to your work, where you spent a lot of the time glancing back at the asleep boy across from you.
when jisung had woken up, you were in fact still there. it was apparently the morning, so he had slept all night. seeing the boy sit up in your peripheral, you got up from your work and headed to him. you had actually gotten sleep last night, hoping he didnt wake up before you got back and apparently the gods were on your side that day. "how do you feel?" you asked him, already grabbing the Pepper-Up potion from the cabinet. "a little better. my throat doesnt hurt as bad" his voice wasn’t exactly ill-sounding anymore, but he did sound kind of croaky which was mosh likely from not talking for so long. nodding in response, you handed him the Pepper-Up with a small smile on your face. "well then, if you take this you should be good to go by tomorrow," then you pouted, "but it was nice having some company here rather than just me" you sighed. jisung chuckled, and you seriously felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest. it wouldn’t surprise you if he could hear it to be honest. "i’ll miss being here too. the view is nice and its relaxing to not be surrounded by loud boys" he said, trying to avoid your eyes as eye contact was something he wasnt ready for yet. thinking he meant the view from the window, you turned to look out it with a smile. "it is rather beautiful" you uttered breathily. jisung stared at the side profile of your face, softened and smiling as you looked out onto the forest and mountains. "gorgeous" he quietly agreed.
the rest of the day you had spent just talking with jisung as you wrote even more notes. you and him were both glad that you could finally talk to eachother, first without any of your friends teasing you, and second because the situation kind of forced you together so it would be awkward if you didnt talk. he had found out little things about you that made his heart melt, such as your cat that was called mr snuggles, your pet sugar glider that you kept at home which was called mr cuddles and how you had a love for all animals, leading to your dream of becoming a veterinarian. he had also found out your undying love for small things and how you always looked so cute talking about them, your eyes sparkling. similarly, you had found out about his little sister that he would do anything for, his owl that was just called hoot which you found both adorable and hilarious, and how it was his sister that basically made him start playing quidditch, just wanting to make her proud. you had also found out about how clumsy he was, after immediately tripping on air after getting out of bed to sit closer to your desk, sending you both into a fit of giggles as he had pink dusted on his cheeks. it was safe to say the two of you had become closer during his stay in the infirmary, and when he had to leave, you had immediately missed his presence.
during the days before the slytherin match, you and jisung would greet eachother in the halls, and you switched deskmates so he sat besides you in potions now. his team and jeno couldnt believe their eyes when they saw you two walking to the hall together for dinner after you had had potions last period. so naturally, when you waved and smiled at jisung from the ravenclaw table, and he winked in response, jenos jaw dropped. "since fucking when did you two get close?! my prayers have finally been answered, about bloody time!"he very animatedly said, waving his arms around for exaggeration. "he was like the only person in the infirmary, so he became my friend i guess" you had shrugged to jeno, but you couldnt stop the wide smile pulling at your lips.
when the match had finally arrived, you firmly put away your books and sat in the stands, as madam Pomfrey had told you to watch from outside incase any players would fall. bounding towards the hufflepuff stands, you slid in next to jeno, ignoring the looks you were getting from the other hufflepuffs considering you were literally on the wrong stand. "you come to watch your boyfriend?" jeno smirked, nudging you with his elbow. cupping your hands to your cheeks to hide the bright red glow from the comment, you stamped on his toes harshly, smiling at his screech of pain. "shut up and lets watch" you glared at him before cooling down and removing your palms, turning to face the field as the players all filed onto it. jisung searched the audience for you, finally finding you waving at him like crazy making him grin happily. mark patted the boys shoulder. "lets have a good match so you can show off to your fiancée but make it girlfriend" he joked, jisungs cheeks turning a similar colour to yours previously as he shoved marks back.
the game started, and you grew increasingly worried at the violent plays of the slytherins, though it was to be expected. the hufflepuff team however, had managed to easily come back into play after every brutal shove, or chase, giving them both an equal shot at winning. "well this is an interesting match" jeno lifted a brow, leaning forwards slightly so he could get a better view. "on god if they hurt jisung im putting them all in the infirmary myself" you said, leaning back and looking at the slytherin team, very unimpressed by their dirty plays.
"you won!" you giggled, jisungs own laugh reverberating around you, his chest pressed against yours sending vibrations into your own. grabbing his cheeks, you stared him in the eyes before smashing your lips onto his. the crowd only seemed to cheer louder, jisungs frozen arms slowly wrapping around your waist, tilting his face and kissing back. jeno and the quidditch team let out whistles, reminding you that you were in public. a wave of embarrassment hit you, and you buried your face into jisungs chest, the sound of his rapid heartbeat matching your own.
#nct hogwarts au#park jisung imagines#nct dream imagines#park jisung#park jisung scenarios#nct dream#nct#jisung#jisung park#jisung fluff#nct jisung#jeno#lee jeno#mark#mark lee
154 notes
·
View notes
Text
Right in front of me | SamBucky
Summary - Sam gets injured, Bucky panics
Warnings - Angst, fluff, Blood, wound and none descriptive fight scene, Swears, Unconscious body, Mentioned of knife, stitching a wound with dental floss, Bullshit medical procedures (seriously.. is it obvious idk what I'm talking about?), bleeding trough bandages
He should have known.
Bucky should have known once he saw the shiny glint of the knife appear in the guy's hand.
Bucky should have warned Sam that he had a knife. But he didn't.
He didn't because he got distracted by one of the partners trying to punch him.
And he doesn't even remember who they were fighting; he just knows that one second Sam is fighting unaware of the knife and the next he's bleeding.
And it's awful.
It's awful because Sam wasn't wearing his Captain America suit. The one made of vibranium specifically for him so that stuff like this wouldn't happen.
And the groans that leave Sam's lips are going to haunt Bucky's nightmares for eternity. He knows it will.
But he can't do anything. Not now.
Not when there are still two guys to deal with. And Sam can put pressure on the wound on his own. He can do that.
And Bucky just barely manages to dodge a punch from someone, he was too focused on Sam he needs to get his mind back to the fight.
So, Bucky forces himself to ignore Sam's groans. Forces himself to ignore the bright red blood that was starting to seep through Sam's finger. And he fights.
He manages to wrestle the knife from someone's hand and stabs them. It's not going to kill them. He doesn't do that anymore. But it will hurt and leave him unable to fight. And that's what he needs.
Bucky scans his surroundings-- pretending that his eyes don't linger just a second too long on Sam-- and the other guy is nowhere in sight.
Coward.
He's a coward, he left his partner there writhing on the floor in pain.
And Bucky ignores the guy screaming in anguish, that would probably haunt him but right now all he can focus is on Sam.
Sam who's leaning against the wall with blood dribbling down his lips. Soft groans escaping his lips.
"Shit, Sam," Bucky whispered, he moved Sam's hands away from the wound and peeled the blood-soaked t-shirt from his stomach.
Sam winced, "Buck," Sam whispered breathlessly.
"Put pressure on it," Bucky's eyes were unmoving. They stayed fixated on Sam's stomach, watching as his abs flexed and unflexed continuously due to the intense pain.
Sam placed his hands over the wound, biting back a hiss, "wha're you doing?"
Bucky took off his jacket, ripping apart the sleeves, "What does it look like? Not like we can call an ambulance while undercover,"
Sam stared at Bucky through his half-lidded eyes, "could," Sam let out a shaky breath.
Bucky ignored Sam. He had to. Had to ignore the pained whispers and the way he tried to pull away from Bucky's hands as he started to apply pressure on the wound.
Because if Bucky acknowledged that the blood on his palms was Sam's, Bucky won't be able to stop himself. He won't be able to stop himself from shaking, trembling. While his mind supplied him with so many outcomes where Sam doesn't survive this.
And he can't do that.
Not when Sam needed him.
Expertly Bucky tied the jacket around Sam's middle, keeping extra pressure on the front, "We're going to stand up, come on,"
Bucky placed one of Sam's arms over his shoulder.
"Bucky-" Sam heaved out, a broken cough wrenching its way out of his throat, "wha' bout 'im," Sam's eyes, filled with tears, glanced behind Bucky. Where he left the guy bleeding out.
"Sam, he stabbed you, and you're bleeding out. Right now I could give less of a shit about him," Bucky slowly lifted Sam, keeping his vibranium arm secure around Sam's waist. Bucky waited a few minutes. "He won't die," was all that Bucky could come up to say as he felt the guilt in his chest get impossibly bigger.
Sam lowered his head, Bucky supposed it was meant to be a nod or well he took it as one.
And they started walking.
Left. Right. Left. Right.
Bucky kept eyeing the floor, making sure their feet were synchronized.
"Buck," Sam wheezed out, "I, I can't"
Even with such a short sentence, it took Sam way too much effort to utter out. Wordlessly Bucky nodded and slowly helped Sam sit on the pavement, his back against a lamp pole.
"God, what am I going to do?" Bucky muttered.
Sam closed his eyes, the harsh light causing his headache to worsen, "be'ind you,"
"Don't close your eyes dammit,"
Bucky was panicking. The adrenaline wore off and even the soreness in his muscles couldn't stop him from being terrified.
Terrified that Sam would die, bleeding out in a no-name street at night.
Sam slowly, with strength he felt he didn't have, opened his eyes. Squinting at the blurry figure he knew to be Bucky, "behind you,"
Bucky threw a glance over his shoulder. Barely paying attention to what he saw.
Bucky paused. And did a double-take. Behind him, a couple of feet away, there was a small convenience store.
Bucky stood up from the squat, and turned around, "Sam, It’s going to be quick, I swear. Just don't close your eyes,"
"I won't," Sam whispered.
"Promise me,"
"I promise," Sam let out another wet cough, his back slumping down even further against the pole.
Bucky nodded, "yeah, just wait here,"
He knew it was a stupid thing to say. It wasn't like Sam could leave, he could barely even keep his eyes open. But it helped calm Bucky down.
Even if just a little bit.
Bucky quickly walked over to the other street, throwing glances over his shoulder making sure Sam was okay,
Opening the window door, the bell letting out a little jingle, he sent a tight-lipped smile towards the half-asleep cashier. He quickly walked around the store scanning the shelves for what he needed.
Alcohol. Floss. Needles. Bandages. Pain killers. Disinfectant wipes. Scissors.
Bucky reached out with his hand and grabbed the Alcohol, only to pull his hand back almost immediately.
Blood.
Not just any blood Sam's.
Sam's blood was staring right back at him. Laughing in his face.
In his rush, he had forgotten he still had Sam's blood on his hands. Bucky swallowed down the bile that was threatening to come up and grabbed the alcohol ignoring how it felt slippery under his grip.
As quickly as he could Bucky grabbed every single thing that he needed. And some extras just in case.
He walked-- jogged-- over to the counter and threw a crumpled fifty-dollar bill. It was probably too much. He didn't care. Bucky exited the store and ran over to Sam.
"Hey," Sam mumbled, his face covered in a sheen coat of sweat and blood, "Took you long enough,"
Bucky nodded, carefully he started removing his blood-soaked jacket from Sam's stomach, "sorry," Bucky whispered, avoiding looking up to Sam's eye.
"It’s okay," Sam slurred, his hands twitching against his sides, "it’s okay, okay,"
And Bucky realized Sam was trying to convince himself that he was going to be okay.
"You're going to be okay," Bucky looked up and, finally, met Sam's half-lidded gaze. His eyebrows were scrunched up with wrinkles forming around the corner and his lips, which were coated in a thin coat of cherry red blood, were slightly opened letting out pained gasps.
"This isn't my first time doing it," Bucky whispered, looping the dental floss through the needle, "This is going to hurt a shit ton,"
That was the only warning he gave Sam before he carefully inserted the needle into his skin.
Sam's hand shot up and dripped onto Bucky's shoulder, his calloused fingers digging harshly onto Bucky's skin, "shit,"
Bucky as quickly as he could-- while trying not to hurt Sam-- finish tending to Sam's wound.
And this wasn't ideal.
He was using his right hand to handle the needle. His shaking hand. His vibranium arm would have been so much better, but he can't use it. If he did he would have ended up hurting Sam even more.
And he can't have that.
"Alright, it’s done," Bucky let out a sigh of relief, he let the needle drop onto the ground.
Sam let a pained smile graze his face, " 'anks,"
Bucky nodded as he grabbed the alcohol, "this is going to hurt,"
He poured the alcohol into the cap and spilled it over the wound. Sam's stomach clenched and the pad of his fingers dug even deeper into Bucky's bone.
Some of the blood got washed away by the alcohol revealing the lovely dark brown-colored skin that Bucky always loved to admire.
"Don't-" Sam heaved out as Bucky started opening the bandages.
"I have to,"
Sam shook his head, his teeth were biting onto his bottom lip, "hurts too much,"
"It'll get infected, and we have to walk to the motel," Bucky met Sam's gaze.
Sam stared at Bucky, his eyes normally so beautiful now dark as every single inch of him was consumed in pain. And he whispered out, "Buck," It was a plea.
A wish.
One he couldn't give to him.
But he could give him something else.
Bucky grabbed the bottle he had thrown onto the ground, the pills inside of it clinking together, "It won't stop the pain entirely, but it'll help,"
A compromise.
Bucky watched Sam's unreadable face. Watched as his eyes glazed over from the overwhelming pain, and his hand kept tightening over his shoulder. And Sam looked at Bucky until he gave a barely-there nod.
Bucky fished the water bottle he had bought and passed two pills to Sam.
Sam could care less that the pills had some of his blood on them. He just needed to feel something else than this burning pain deep within his body.
Bringing a shaky hand up to his face he threw the pills into his mouth. Dry swallowing them.
"Sam?" Bucky asked, showing the bottle to Sam, but Sam just shook his head and closed his eyes.
"Just do it,"
Bucky nodded, “Tell me if I hurt you,” Bucky with swift hands wrapped the bandage around Sam’s middle. Ignoring the few curse words that slipped Sam’s mouth. Ripping off a piece of tape, he placed it on the bandages making sure they were tight enough but not too tight that it aggravated Sam’s injury even further.
Bucky lowered Sam’s shirt onto the gauze, muttering a small apology as Sam winced.
“God, stay here. There’s no way in hell you’re going to be able to walk with that stab wound,” Bucky stood up, the muscles of his back protesting the sudden shift.
“What are you going to do?” Sam slurred, slumping his head back against the pole revealing the long column of his neck covered in a mixture of sweat, tears, and grime.
“Getting us a ride. Just don’t fall asleep, please,”
Bucky walked over to one of the parked cars. He hasn’t done this since he went to Wakanda, but it’s gotta be like riding a bike right?
Once you learn you never forget it.
Eyeing his surroundings-- letting his gaze linger on Sam for just a few seconds once again-- he smashed the car window with his left arm. Broken pieces of glass fell onto the seat and sidewalk. He threw the few pieces that were on the seat onto the floor and slid into it.
His hand reached blindly under the dashboard, there was a time where Bucky could have done this without thinking twice about it. Could have done this while focusing on the task at hand ignoring his surroundings while simultaneously being hyper-aware of them.
Bucky grabbed the two cables and cut off their ends. Getting started on hot wiring the car.
Maybe he should feel guilty that he’s stealing an innocent person’s car-- he wouldn’t be surprised if the car was the cashier’s-- just like he should have felt guilty about leaving the man writhing in pain on the floor.
But he doesn’t.
Not when all of his emotions are focusing on Sam. He knows once Sam is okay he'll feel the guilt, feel the slow torture of it filling up his heart.
But right now the certain guilt he had to learn to live with has been eaten. Overcome by a much bigger and scarier monster. And maybe if Bucky had a word for that feeling he wouldn’t be scared of it so much.
But he doesn’t.
He doesn’t have a word for it and it’s terrifying because this isn’t the first time he has felt this. It isn’t the first time because he remembers feeling it when Steve left. Feeling like his one constant in life was gone. And he was lost.
But it’s so different.
It isn’t like the fear he felt when he had fallen to his death. And it isn’t like the confusion he felt when he saw Steve after years of being tortured.
And this feeling. This new feeling was blinding Bucky. Was making him see stuff that wasn’t there. Was making him see Sam lying dead on the floor with a pool of his blood.
And that was dangerous.
So dangerous.
Bucky glanced back towards Sam once he got the car running.
It would be easier if he drove the car closer to Sam, so that’s what he did.
Once he was close enough he let the car running and got out. His eyes immediately found Sam’s slumped form.
“Sam?” Bucky was panicking.
Sam’s eyes were fully closed, and even though his chest was rising and falling erratically that didn’t stop the panic from spreading.
"Sam?" Bucky shouted, kneeling next to his unconscious body.
Sam twitched.
But he still didn't open his eyes.
"Shit," Bucky mumbled. This couldn't get any worse.
Bucky curled his arm around Sam's knees and picked him up bridal style. Letting out a soft groan.
Making sure not to hurt Sam more than he already was, he opened the back door-- after a bit of struggling-- and laid Sam on the seat.
Bucky threw a glance at the opened supplies that he'd thrown on the floor. He considered leaving them but decided against it.
Quickly picking up the stuff from the floor he jogged over to the driver seat. Throwing everything in his hands onto the passenger's side, hearing a soft thud as the alcohol bottle rolled onto the floor.
And he drove.
He drove down the dark isolated streets illuminated by the car's headlights.
His gaze kept switching back and forth between the road and the backseat. Bucky was scared. Scared that if he stopped looking at Sam for even one second he would stop breathing.
Bucky had lost everyone close to him. He couldn't lose Sam too.
Not when Sam had somehow made his way into Bucky's guarded heart and broke down every single one of his walls. Took away his armor and left it on the floor to rust. Took every single defense that Bucky had built and left him standing in front of him bare. Defenseless. Revealing every single secret, every single fear, that he had tried so hard to hide.
And it's funny because as much as Bucky liked to say that he hated Sam. That he was only with him since he had nothing better to do. There was nowhere else he'd rather be.
At some point, the shield had been his only family. His only sense of security. But now in some way Sam had become family-- and so had Sarah, Aj, Cass, and every single person that lived in Delacroix that somehow knew Sam-- and he accepted him.
Accepted him despite his past-- and his hideous hair as Sam liked to say-- and Bucky doesn't know what he'll do without him.
Doesn't know if he'll survive.
The sounds of clothes ruffling together and a pained whimper echoed from the Backseat. Bucky licked his chapped lips and threw a glance at the rear window.
"Sam?" Bucky asked as he saw him struggling to sit up.
" 'm fine," Sam said, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes shut tightly together in pain.
"You don't look fine," Bucky retorted, somehow managing to keep his eyes on the road and not turn around completely and stare at Sam.
Sam hummed, and as the rustling began to grow louder Bucky threw a glance towards the back. And his heart, which had felt lighter once he heard Sam wake up, got tighter.
"Sam, shit, your bandages," Bucky exclaimed, his eyes not once leaving the slowly spreading blood against the white gauze.
Bucky shifted his gaze from Sam towards the dark road, looking for a place to pull over.
Sam peered down at his stomach through half-lidded eyes, " 'ust be why it 'urts," He slurred.
"Don't move," Bucky demanded, his voice stern, even though it felt like his insides were being filled up with water and he was drowning in it.
"Wasn't planning on to," Sam lifted his gaze and dark brown eyes met icy cold blue ones through the rear window, "I'm 'ine,"
Bucky shook his head and pulled the car over to a small clearing, "You probably popped one of the stitches, somehow,"
"Somehow," Sam mocked as a wet cough tore its way out of his throat, "you used floss,"
"It always worked fine with me,"
Sam even though the pain managed to glare at Bucky. Although it didn't have the effect he wanted considering not a second later he shut his eyes tightly as the pounding pain in his abdomen distracted him.
Bucky got out of the car, barely paying attention to his surroundings; the only thing on his mind right now was Sam.
He wrenched the back door open meeting Sam's semi startled eyes.
" 'hat the car do to you?" Sam asked, tilting his head back onto the seat.
#bucky barnes x sam wilson#the falcon and the winter solider spoilers#bucky barnes#marvel#oneshot#sam wilson#sam wilson x bucky barnes#sam wilson deserves the world#fluff#injuries#sam wilson angst#bucky fanfic#crosspost
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
ten-thousand miles gone
prologue
summary: they say time heals all wounds, but the one left by han jisung on your heart is one that you still treat tenderly. alternatively; han jisung reappears into your life like a whirlwind, knocking you off of your feet, after leaving you without a goodbye.
genre: angst
warnings: nothing triggering or rated
word count: 6k
note: in my head, the mind map of the way this particular fic ended went in so many directions, but this was very draining to write so i settled on the one that wouldn’t leave you hanging.
been travelling these wide roads
for so long
my heart’s been far
from you
ten-thousand miles gone
In your younger years, life had always seemed to move gradually. Time seemed to be muffled by all the firsts and seconds that came and went like waves, distracting everyone from the reality of growing pains. But college certainly ripped off that bandaid, a cushion no longer supporting your fall into the harsh realities of life.
Second semester of sophomore year had just ended, so now every college student across the country was making a beeline for the airports and bus stations, with tickets home clasped tightly between hands that were potentially developing carpal tunnel syndrome. Luckily for you, home was two train rides and a taxicab away. But like all your independent adventures of navigating life unhinged, no journey would be complete without twenty-something voicemails from your mother telling you to padlock your luggage and some vague, superstitious advice she read on Facebook.
[To ma: yes, i didnt forget to pack your scarf and no, im not going to drink ginger and ginseng to ward off bad train spirits.]
[From ma: thank you. suit yourself , you will be bad spirit magnet !]
You chuckle and shove your phone into your pocket, hailing a cab with one hand while the other slings an abnormally large duffle bag over your shoulder. “North-Hill train station please.” You say to the cab driver and shove your luggage into the seat next to you.
You let out a tired sigh and slump into the pleather seats. Butterflies swarmed your stomach- you always seemed to get them whenever you went back home. Back to the place of some of your greatest and worst memories. Somehow, through the years, the fear of seeing him again in that godforsaken town died down, because the thought of ever being able to see him again at all proved itself to be almost impossible.
Even a fool knows this, you’re the best thing I’ve got…
You almost choke on your spit when that song comes on the radio. Of course that song had to come on so conveniently in the middle of your trip down melancholy lane. You have half a mind to reach over and turn the radio off, but decide against it when you see the cute old man bobbing his head to it.
So instead your mind traces its steps back a few moments until all you’re reminded of is him.
In your head you remember all these great experiences- graduation day, senior prom, camp nights during wintertime and summer carnivals down at the boardwalk. But then your mind tortures you and conjures up these images of what it would’ve been like to have experienced it all with him next to you and suddenly the memories become less fond. It’s treacherous, really, being your own worst enemy. But you learnt the hard way that time slows down for no one.
When you get to the train station, you move in a daze. The muscle memory of validating your ticket and walking to the platform does all the work for you. And usually that would be a good thing, except now it only allowed you to stay in your head a lot more. It’s funny, really, how everytime you see posters and billboards of his group around you don’t flinch. Not anymore at least. Because you don’t know him anymore, and he’s probably forgotten about you.
Sometimes, you’re convinced he was just a character that your very active imagination conjured up to fill gaps in your life with meaning. But every time you open a picture of the pair of you way back when, you’re met with the reality that he was real. Even if it was just for a short amount of time, he was visible to you. Tangible. And meant galaxies to you.
[From mama han: cant wait 2 see u back again ! have dinner with us soon xoxo]
You smile fondly down at your phone once you’re situated in your seat, typing out a reply to the woman you consider a second mom.
You thanked the universe for still keeping her in your life. Sure, her son would probably be known to you as the biggest jackass to exist for eternity, but she would remain sweet and tender in your heart for longer than that.
[To mama han: can’t wait to see you too:)]
You don’t confirm your spot at their dinner table, because frankly speaking, the last time you stepped foot in their house was the summer before university when you went to drop off a box of jisung’s things that you found in your room- sweatshirts, t-shirt’s, notes and other miscellaneous items that demanded you remember every miniscule moment spent with him. And since then you’ve found every excuse not to go near that place. You knew it probably hurt the woman whenever you conjured up some arbitrary excuse to not dig in to her incredible cooking, but the finger is to be pointed at Han Jisung and Han Jisung only. Screw him.
She sometimes tries to address the elephant in the room whenever you do get to talk during her visits at your childhood home. Like It would be great to have you both visit at the same time or Would you like me to call him? I’m sure he’s not busy right now. Yeah, subtle as a gun, but you love her still.
You’re not one to believe in luck, and if you did you’d actually quite fancy yourself as the most unluckiest person of them all, but you thank the heavens that he’s never been back home the same time as you have. Either that, or you’re just way too good at being further than a 10-mile radius from him. Like last semester break, when you got word from one of your childhood friends that he would be in town so you decided to cancel all your plans of going back home under the guise of going on a group excursion somewhere up north. Obviously, all you did was stay in your dorm and binge watch Gossip Girl for three weeks, but you concluded that anything would be better than having to confront your demons- or demon. Singular.
What would you even say if you saw him? Realistically, not that much. Ideally, you’d destroy him with words. All that pent up anger for him leaving you behind and all the unresolved feelings left to concentrate in an urn you buried deep in yourself exploding like Pandora's box right before him. 5 years passed, and yet you still found it difficult to imagine what a conversation would be like with him again.
Honestly, you’d tell him to stay a while longer, just so that he’d remain vivid in your memories once he decided to leave again.
When the taxi cab pulled up in front of your childhood home, you were half asleep and in desperate need of a solid meal. “Thanks, keep the change,” you say groggily as you pass the money to the driver.
You take a deep breath once you’re out of the car, your duffle bag slung around your frame. It’s been a very long time since you were last here. The months seemed to pile up without you noticing, and now that you think about it, it had been a good whole year that passed. You don’t know where the time went, but you were definitely here now.
You trudge up to the door, ringing the bell once. “Hey ma,” You say as she squeals and pulls you in for a hug. “I’m glad you’re back in one piece, especially since you ignored my advice.” She says pointedly and ushers you in. “Yeah, well, I guess the train spirits didn’t feel like victimising me today.” She looks at you with her mouth hung open and slaps your arm.
“Don’t say that!” She’s about to scold you more when your dad enters the living room in his pajama pants. “My daughter finally decides to show her face around here! Send in the doves!” You always knew that you got your flare for drama from your dad.
“How are you doing sweetie, we missed you.” He gives you a big bear hug and you sigh. “I know, it’s been too long.”
“There is not enough time in this world to mope around! Now, darling, it’s very late so your father and I are off to bed. There’s some leftovers for you in the toaster oven in case you get hungry,” They both smother you in a hug and you almost suffocate. “We’d love to hear all about your university in the morning. Sleep tight honey.”
And so you’re left to your own devices. Again. Sighing, you reluctantly head up the stairs and make your way into your old room. A smile finds its place on your lips.
The room is oddly clean- you figured your mother must have emotionally cleaned in here (more than once) during your time away from home. But the walls are still the same ugly navy blue, and your star-print curtains remained planted in front of your windows with planet decorations all over the ceiling to match. Funny. He helped you decorate. Said it made your room feel like the universe was just the two of you.
You didn’t know that what he really meant was that you were his safe place.
You spend a good thirty-minutes unpacking, tinkering around your old room and texting your friends about your trip home. It feels like an eternity passed when you finally decide to listen to your growling stomach and go get something to eat. But you’re picky and nothing in your kitchen seems to entice you enough to devour it, so you swipe your house keys off the kitchen countertop and head to your door. 7-Eleven it is. You’re dressed in a pair of leggings and a pink sweater with fluffy slides to match, but you could care less.
As you walk out of your driveway and head down your street, you pass by his house. The lights are off (of course, since it’s an ungodly 1AM) and it practically looked like a dollhouse.
You turn your gaze away.
The walk to the local 7-Eleven is only 5 Hozier tracks away, so you reach there in no time. Your tummy growls when you enter, and you immediately head to the instant section. Hmm, ramen, tteokbokki or pasta, choices choices choices…
You’re too busy pondering to notice the figure clad in sweats and a baseball cap standing frozen at the end of the aisle, gaping like a fish your way. He practically isn’t breathing, but your presence had knocked the wind right out of his chest.
“Y-Y/n?” He manages to breathe out, and you look around, confused. Did someone just say my name?
Your eyes slowly turn to his figure, and you can barely see who it is from afar. Tan skin can be seen from the collar under his hoodie, and dirty-blonde hair peeks out at the ends of his baseball cap. You feel like you’re seeing things, because you know that baseball cap. You bought it.
Slowly, your eyes trail over his face, and you feel the air leave your lungs.
Jisung still remembers the last time he saw you. Well, the last time he saw you before he didn’t say goodbye.
It was a Thursday afternoon, History class had just ended. On the way out, he caught a glimpse of you. He hadn’t seen much of you the entire week, but that was because he was actively trying to avoid you. But there you were, at your locker putting away your books with that puppy-dog expression you always wore whenever you were tired and in need of a good nap. He stood for a few moments, taking you in. Even if your hair was messily up in a bun with a hoodie two sizes too big drowning your frame, he still thought you looked like an absolute dream. He wanted to go up to you and ask you how was calculus? And when you pout and say boring, he would suggest you come over for some hot chocolate and a movie. And you would say yes, with a sleepy, lopsided smile, and his body would feel all warm and fuzzy at the sight of you.
But he doesn’t do any of that. Instead, he leaves his heart by the lockers, and with one last look, he walks away. His jacket does nothing to warm the cold that creeps its way up.
Had he known he wouldn’t get to see you one last time after that, he would’ve watched you for a few seconds longer. Had he known that you would fall sick and stay home from school the day before his flight, he would have told you to take better care of yourself. And had he known that the last time he’d see you would be when you’re drained and tired and down, he would have gone up to you to make you smile, one last time.
He never stopped recreating pictures of you in his head, fearing the outlines of you would fade.
Except now, as you stand a mere six feet away, he feels as though you stepped out of his mind and into his world once again. He can see you. You’re there.
None of the pictures of you that he drew up in his head would ever compare to the way you looked right then. Beautiful, just as he remembered you.
Your name feels like a foreign language when it leaves his lips.
The air is so thick between the pair of you that it makes everything around him slow down. He sees your eyes move from confusion, to shock, to utter fear and bewilderment, and then to pain. It feels as though a knife impaled his heart when he sees your eyes quiver.
He always loved your eyes. Dark brown, like freshly turned over earth, warmed by the sun. They look at him with sorrow now.
Your arms drop to your sides and your lips quake, “J-Jisung?” God, he forgot what it was like to hear his name in your voice. He hates that it’s said with so much heartache.
You run out without thinking twice.
“Stop, slow down! W-wait!” You hear his voice call out for you, but you continue to run- where? You don’t know. You just wanted to get away. Your feet take you far down the sidewalk, lamp-posts your only source of light at this time of night.
But you’re not fast enough, and for the first time in a long time, you feel his grip on your arm.
“Let go of me,” You say, your voice already breaking. He breaks with it.
“Y/N listen-” He pants out.
“No, let go of me!” You snatch your arm away from his grip. God, you’re furious. And hurt. And every other emotion there is to feel when you see the person who left you with nothing.
Your raised voice startles the two of you, and you both stand there for a moment, breathless. From running, from shock.
He doesn’t say anything and just gapes at you, “Well?” You provoke pointedly. “What? Cat got your tongue?”
“No ‘Hey y/n! How’ve you been? Long time no see since, you know, I abandoned you’.” You say harshly and the knife in his heart twists.
“I know you’re hurt-” You cut him off.
“Hurt? Hurt? Hurt doesn’t even come close to what I feel, Jisung.” All the words you want to spew get caught in the back of your throat and you fight yourself to keep it together because you don’t want him to see you cry. You don’t want him to catch you vulnerable and raw, because you don’t know if you can trust him with that part of you again.
“Can we please just- can we please just talk?” He begs, and you scoff. “Please?” His eyes plead with you, and you frustratedly run a hand through your hair.
“So talk.” You cross your arms over your chest and look at anywhere but him. He doesn’t say anything, and each time he tries to, all he does is end up biting his tongue. Where does he even begin?
“I’m sorry,” He croaks out, even though it’s the worst thing to say.
“Great. All is forgiven.” You’re ruthless, but that’s only because he didn’t show any mercy when he left.
He searches your eyes, not knowing what he could say to make things right. Or if that was even a possibility anymore. You both stand in silence for a while, and slowly your resolve breaks away.
“Why?” You say, your voice coarse and exhausted. “Why’d you do it? I tortured myself for months- no, years asking myself what I did wrong that caused you to leave me like that. What- was it something I said? Something I did? Please- tell me, I’m begging you,” You’re full-on sobbing now, tears flowing down your face like waves. They twinkle in the warm streetlights and he feels the ground beneath him crumble. The wound he left on your heart was ripped open again, and you couldn’t help but bleed in front of him. “P-please, Jisung. It’s been killing me for so long.”
Tears leave his eyes, “It wasn’t your fault,” He says softly.
“Then what was it? Because for all this time I broke myself down, questioning why you left like that. For so long I thought you were mad at me- I thought you became tired of me, bored of having me around. Do you know what that’s like? Tearing yourself apart to find answers you know you can’t answer by yourself?”
“Shit, I thought you didn’t need me anymore. Which sucked, because I needed you.” You whisper through ragged breaths and he takes careful steps closer to you.
“Of course I still needed you- I haven’t stopped needing you, y/n.” His voice is as broken as yours.
“Then why?” Your voice is barely above a whisper and you struggle so hard to not fall to the ground.
“Do you know what it felt like to wake up one morning, clueless and thinking everything was fine, and then finding out that it was, in fact, not? Do you know what it was like to find out the person you cared for the most up and left you alone and with no explanation- not even a single goodbye? To be desperate to hear his voice again, and wonder to yourself why it was so easy for him to cut you off like that?” He stood right in front of you, so close that he could touch you.
“I searched for you. I still looked for you in the hallways at school, hoping it was just one of your stupid pranks. I waited in my room for you to climb up to my window again and whisk me away to the park for one of our late-night walks. I called your phone for days, just in case you’d finally get annoyed and pick up. You never did. You never did,” You didn’t notice that your face was in his hands and that he tried so desperately to wipe your tears away, his own streaming down his face.
He sucked in a breath, “I left like that because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get on that plane with you watching. That I would drop everything, all my stupid dreams, to stay in this stupid town for god knows how long with you. Leaving you was the most painful part,”
“That day I found out I passed the audition- do you remember? You were so happy for me, more happy than I was. The only thing on my mind was the fact that I had to leave everything behind to chase after this dream- to chase after a dream that came true because of you. I wasn’t sure anymore. But you were so sure of me, so ready to see me attain everything we talked about, that the thought of all of that being in vain because of my cowardice ate me up inside. I thought that maybe if I could keep you at a distance- make you mad at me for ignoring you, have you hate me- that it would make it a little easier to let you go of me,” Your lips quiver.
“It wasn’t easy-”
“I know, I know that.” He rests his forehead against yours and squeezes his eyes shut as he hears your soft sobs. “It was so that I wouldn’t have a memory of leaving you behind in an airport. I wasn’t ready to have that image in my mind haunt me. I’ve regretted it everyday. You have to believe me when I say that.”
“Then why didn’t you call back? Or even send a message?” Your eyes search his for answers as you pull your forehead away from his to get a clearer look.
“I thought you hated me. That you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”
“Bullshit. You thought wrong.” Angrily, you push at his chest with closed fists and shut eyes, “You thought wrong,” You push him away until you’re no longer in his grip. “Let me go,” You whimper when he tries to reach for you again. “That doesn’t justify why you left me like that. I felt like I meant nothing to you for so long. You threw me away like I didn’t mean anything- made me feel like I was insignificant.”
“You meant everything to me!” He shouts out, shocking you into silence. “Don’t you see it?” When you only stare at him in confusion, he sucks in a breath.
“The mere thought of leaving you was enough for me to think twice. Sitting with you in French class and giggling because we didn’t understand a word, spending so many nights with you in your ridiculous dinosaur onesie, getting to walk around aimlessly until 4am in this godforsaken town as if time wasn’t fleeting- I-,” He runs a hand over his face, frustratedly wiping his tears away. “I wasn’t ready for it to be over. I didn’t want to miss graduation, the day we looked forward to since grade school. I didn’t want to facetime you on prom night while you look so goddamn beautiful, knowing that someone else would be getting to slow dance with you. Knowing that I wouldn’t be there, that I would be missing out- that I would be missing you every goddamn day made me realise I wouldn’t be able to last without you.”
“Selfishly ripping you apart from me felt like the only option. And it was so cruel, I know that. I’m the selfish asshole,” He takes exactly five steps to stand in front of you, and places a hand tenderly on your cheek.
“I was selfish because I knew I couldn’t have you. I was in love with you, y/n. So fucking in love and you didn’t even know. And after all this time, I still am.” He says that last sentence in a whisper, and before you know it, his lips are on yours.
His mouth is so warm against yours, so tender, and yet they set your skin on fire.
You pull away and take two steps back.
“Y-you don’t get to kiss m-me like that, not again,” You say breathless. You’re reminded of sophomore year, and the kiss in his living room that made you feel weightless and lightheaded.
“Y/n-”
“I think we’ve talked enough for tonight,” Your heart hammers in your chest and the blood rushes to your face so fast that you swear you’re shivering. His eyes are illuminated by the streetlamps and you see them break right before you, defeated. Yours are no different.
You walk away, choking back sobs.
He doesn’t try to stop you.
It’s 4PM when you decide to get out of bed.
Your eyes are practically closed shut from your lack of sleep and you don’t bother to brush your hair, or undrape the blanket around your shoulders when you head downstairs. Your parents are sitting in the living room, oblivious and unassuming, but when they see you they almost go into cardiac arrest.
“What’s wrong?” Your mother asks tentatively, extremely unsure as to why her daughter looked so abnormally disheveled. “Did you know he was going to be back in town?” You croak out, and she sighs.
“So you saw him.” She states, and your dad pretends to read the newspaper.
“Why didn’t you tell me ma, you know what happened-”
“Exactly; everyone knows what happened, and everyone knows how ruined you’ve both been because of it. But nothing’s going to change if you keep sweeping it under the rug. Honey, I know you’re hurting,” She rests a hand on your cheek and you close your eyes at the feeling. “But this is your chance to get closure.”
“What if I don’t want it anymore?”
“Oh that’s a load of cow dung. Look at you; you’re a mess.” Gee, thanks mom.
She bites her lip and pauses for a second, “What if I told you that during your first year in college, the very first semester you were away, he came back? It was the autumn before things took off for him, and he showed up in town looking for you everywhere, not knowing you had left. I felt so bad, but you’re my daughter, and my first instinct was to protect you because I knew that for the first time in a long time, you were enjoying yourself. So I didn’t give him your new number, said your phone was broken, and he was absolutely heartbroken. I regret it slightly, but maybe this time you both can stop being constantly out of step.”
Your mouth hung agape and your head spun. He looked for me?
“Don’t leave things like this, you need each other.” She gives you a squeeze, and you sigh.
She was right. Years passed with so many things left unsaid, so much time gone. And as much as you hated to admit it, you were never going to get that time back. It would kill you knowing that you didn’t take the chance to fix things. You were already broken down to your bones, what’s left to chip away?
You uncoil yourself from your blanket and fling it onto the couch, groaning when you realise you’re going to have to face him again. The events that had elapsed last night were still hard to wrap your mind around, and you found yourself wondering if it ever did happen. You could already feel your heart pound at the thought of it. His words float in your mind ceaselessly; so much so that when you step out of your house, you almost miss the slumped figure on your sidewalk.
He gets up at the sound of your door closing.
His hair was messy, pointing every which way, and the same clothes from earlier were now wrinkled and crimped. His eyes devastated you. They looked worn down and exhausted, much like yours did.
“Walk with me?” He breathes out, and you nod.
Seeing him in daylight is different. As you two walk, you become increasingly aware of exactly how much he’s grown. He used to be only a few centimeters taller than you, but now you only reach his chin. Barely. But his skin is the same golden tan and his cheeks remained full. You’re close enough that you can smell his scent- a scent you didn’t know you missed until now. But in retrospect, you just missed him.
You both reach the small park in the middle of your neighborhood, and you find yourselves under the big oak tree that he had deemed our spot all those years ago. You look up into his eyes, and for a moment you remember what it’s like to feel home again.
“Do you remember the first time we found this place? You were always so terrible at hide and seek.”
You find yourself smiling at the memory. He hid from you, behind this very tree, for so long that it had felt like you spent hours searching for him. When you finally did find him, you were angry and upset with him with red cheeks to match.
“That’s only because you were always so good at hiding from me,” There’s ambiguity that you didn’t intend in that statement, which brings you both back to silence.
After a while, you gather the courage to speak again. “So about that kiss-” He winces and scratches the back of his neck.
“I’m sorry for catching you off-guard like that last night-”
“I’m talking about the one on your birthday, sophomore year.” His lips squeeze into a tight line and his round eyes stare at you dumbfoundedly.
“I-I always thought you never remembered that. You never brought it up, so I thought that it was just a mistake.” You fiddle with your fingers and gnaw at your bottom lip, feeling the heat creep to the back of your neck.
“Y/n, it was never a mistake. I wanted to kiss you- and I did- because I was sick of being confused about my feelings for you.” You look back up at him, “I didn’t bring it up because I was too scared of scaring you away with it all.”
“Well you should’ve, so that I wouldn’t be so confused either.” His expression changes, and you didn’t think it was possible, but it becomes even more defeated than it was a few moments ago. He rubs his face with his face with his hands, leaning against the tree.
He’s about to speak again, but your lips reach his before he gets the chance.
His soft cheeks rest in your hands as you taste him, soaking in the feeling of his warm lips against yours. This time, for the first time, the kiss lasts longer than a few seconds.
The sensation sends shivers up your arms and down your spine. When he kisses you back, he kisses you with so much fervour that you’re worried you’ll pass out at the feeling. But his arms grip you tightly around your waist to keep you there, with him, firmly in place. Your mind is fuzzy and your heart beats erratically in your chest when he squeezes your waist. Craving him like this is new to you, and yet you can’t help but yearn for more.
Where words failed you before, you make up for it in slow dances across his lips.
“It was worth it, right?” Your question comes as a surprise to him.
Earlier, when the sun had begun to set, the two of you decided that public parks were not exactly the most ideal place to have a heart-to-heart. So you walked back to his place, hands shoved in to the depths of your pockets, but your shoulders brushing against his with every step.
The two of you laid face to face on his bed, pillow-width apart.
“Leaving, yes. Hurting you, not at all.” He answers quietly, his hand drawing circles on the small of your back.
Under his bedroom lights, you take his breath away. His eyes trace over your features, over every dip and bump of the outlines of your face and he hopes that this vision of you never leaves him. He takes in every mole and freckle on your face like it’s the first time he’s seen them, when the reality is that he always used to map out constellations on your cheeks while you slept. He’s afraid that if he blinks, you’ll vanish again, so he tries to keep his gaze steady on yours, unwavering and certain. The way he looks at you sends the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy.
“I miss you,” You say, your voice meek and he feels his heart break all over again. “I miss you too.” You both speak in present-tense because even though he could touch you, see you, he knew it would take an indefinite amount of time for the pain of losing so many moments to heal.
He pulls you into him, savouring the feeling of your embrace. Holding you makes him feel at home, and god knows he’s been away for so long. You nestle into the crook of his neck, and his hands rest under your sweater and on supple skin, willing your pain to go away.
There are an infinite amount of things he wants to tell you, but he figures “I love you.” would suffice for now.
Life never slowed down. As much as it felt like it had when you spent your days with him again, the days piled up one by one. And soon enough, time caught up.
Soon enough, you would need to book your train ticket back to the city, because your three-week long semester break would draw to a close. He would have to book a plane ticket back to glitz and glamour, and the pair of you would wind up in the same dilemma that you were in five years ago.
Only this time, he never leaves your side during your fleeting time together. This time, he tries to make up for all the lost moments within the span of three weeks. He doesn’t let go of any chance to be with you- to hold you, to touch you, to kiss you. He imprints the feeling of his skin on yours so that you never forget. So that he never forgets. Your eyes are cosmic in the moments that you share intimately, and he soaks up every inch of you so that he never forgets what it feels like to share the same breath.
He listens to all your stories and all your bizarre adventures with a fond smile, because you tell them with such wonder that it makes him feel like he was there. Your voice is the only one he wants in his head.
When he drops you off at the station, he doesn’t say goodbye. But not like last time; he doesn’t say goodbye because instead he says I’ll see you soon and Get there safely. When he watches the train pull away from the platform, he prays he sees it soon again because it carries his heart with him.
He likes to imagine that you send him voice notes of your day and how frustrated you are with you OChem professor. That you send him pictures of yourself, and all the cute little cats you come across during your walks to class. That you send him long letters in the mail like the hopeless romantic that you are. In return, he would introduce you to his members- he knows you’d get along with Hyunjin the best, because you both would like to bitch about him while he’s still in the room. He likes the idea of facetiming you whenever you have the time, and getting to say he misses you, even if it’s only through a screen. He likes to imagine that in every lyric he writes, an essence of you treads in his words, because you’re his only muse. And he envisions the day when he’s finally back in the town where time slows, up in your room where the rest of the world crumbles away and your slates are clean once again.
But for now he watches as the train becomes nothing but a speck in the distance, waiting for it all to play out.
#skz#stray kids#stray kids han#stray kids han jisung#stray kids imagine#stray kids oneshot#stray kids han jisung imagine#stray kids han jisung oneshot#stray kids han imagine#stray kids han oneshot#stray kids angst#stray kids au#stray kids han jisung angst#stray kids han angst#stray kids han jisung angst imagine#stray kids han angst imagine#stray kids x reader#stray kids han x reader#stray kids han jisung x reader#stray kids han jisung au#foolishlovebugbaby#han jisung#han#jisung
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
Crashing Down
(eventual steve harrington x hopper!reader)
hola mi amigos, im back. i fell off the face of the earth and im sorry!! Life’s been crazy af. thanks for all the support and i hope you guys enjoy this chapter. i kinda feel like it sucks but ya know idk. feel free to let me know in the comments also lmk if you ever wanna be tagged love you guysXx
catch up here
Warnings: none really?? Cursing?
Part 8/9
Word count: 2k
Summary: Sometimes things just don’t go as planned and your world just come crashing down, but it’s a good thing that you have people in your life to be there to catch you when you fall.
><
You watched your sister walked into your room so she could try and track down your ex boyfriend, Ms. Drisccol, the Holloway’s and Bruce. The seven of you sat quietly and patiently, waiting for any sort of news.
Nancy was on the phone calling around asking for updates and trying to get a lead, Jonathan was drinking coffee and marking off phone numbers. You carried on a conversation with Will about his new campaign for D&D.
After a while Mike began to get angsty because she ‘shouldn't be in there for that long and that it’s not good for her’. Mike and Max’s conversation slowly turned into an unnecessary argument.
“Can you guys settle an argument for us?” Max asks walking up to you, “Who do you think should decide El’s limits? Mike, or Eleven?” As the two kept arguing you decided to put your two words in and are easily ignored.
While listening to the arguing teens, you hop up from your seat and walk over to the fridge to pull out something easy to snack on like a string cheese stick and some strawberries. But as you go to shut the door Mike says something crazy,
“...so can we please just come up with a new plan because I love her and I can’t lose her again.”
You shut the door and turn your head towards him with wide eyes, “Say what now?”
And almost as if on cue El comes walking out the door saying that she found Billy. With Nancy finally off of the phone you take the opportunity to try to call Steve. You called his house and then called ‘Scoops!’, and got no answer.
In the back of your mind you couldn’t help but hope that he was ignoring you and not somehow mixed up in all of this mess, but little did you know that he was being beat senseless in a secret Russian base underground.
><
After letting Eleven cool down from her last session it was time to get back into it. You turned on the television to an empty channel then took your place on the couch next in between Max and Will and watched her put her blindfold on as she went into the void.
This was honestly the last thing you wanted to be doing on the 4th of July, you thought you’d be at the police station begging your dad for some money to go get some cheap fireworks to shoot off into the night for the kids. Maybe even snooping around in your dad's liquor cabinet, to get some goods for you older kids. Yet here you were sitting in silence.
That silence was soon interrupted by Eleven breathing heavily and is obviously in some sort of distress.
“El, are you okay? Are you okay?” Mike finally asks
You don't realize that you're holding your breath until you hear her respond.
“I’m okay” you hear her say weakly
“What’s going on?” you ask
“On a beach.” you all listen as Eleven continues describing a memory of Billy and his mom on a beach in California.
You watch closely as her calm breaths begin to pick up slightly,
“I think I found it, the source.”
“Where El, where are you?” Max pipes up and asks
“Brimborn Steelworks.”
Jonathan runs over to the phone book and looks up the address, it's close by. You told El that she needed to come out of the void so you guys can go. But that’s not what was about to go down.
El put her hands up to her face as if she was going to take the blindfold off of her face, but as soon as she put them up she put them back down. Something was wrong.
“Mike? Y/N?”
Her breath started to pick up once again and that made you start to freak out. You walked back over behind her on the couch and grabbed her shoulders to let her know that you were there but it didn't seem to make a difference.
“No!” she shouted, “Get away!”
She then ripped her blindfold off of her face and screamed making everyone jump. You moved your hands away from her shoulders as she cried and turned to Mike as he reassured her that everything was okay and that she was okay, at least in that moment.
><
As you guys regrouped, you got El some water and pulled a granola bar out of the cabinet, to make sure she ate something to regain some energy, then sat down on the couch next to her. You listened to Mike and Lucas talk about the Mind Flayer and listen to what El has to say about what happened to her, but it’s hard for you to focus. There are so many things in your head that need to be processed, but the main thing you think about is Steve and his safety. The two of you had been through so much and you don’t know what you would do if something happened to him. One thing El says finally catches your attention,
“He also said, he was gonna kill all of you.”
“What? Who?” you ask with your thoughts still stuck on Steve.
“Billy?” Max says but in a ‘are you seriously not paying attention right now’ tone
“Oh. Yeah, well, that’s nice.”
You hear a screeching sound off in the distance, and you see that Nancy hears it too because she gets up and walks towards the window. You hear it again before Nancy asks if anyone else hears it.
“It’s just the fireworks” Jonathan says after a few moments of silence
“Billy,” Nancy says, turning around “When he told you this, it was here, in this room?”
Everyone turns to look at El for an answer hoping that she would say no, but that wasn’t the case.
“He knows we’re here.” Will says.
Jonathan leads you all out of the house and you get a glimpse of something far scarier than a Demogorgan. The next thing you know you’re suddenly preparing for a war that you weren’t expecting to fight in this very moment. You lead Nancy out to your dad’s gun shed behind the cabin to get the essentials. The two of you walk back in the house to see almost all of the windows boarded up or blocked off and all except one door blocked.
Nancy picks up one of the guns you got from the shed and points it at the front door as you all gather in the center of the living room, looking around at every sort of entrance. The next minutes went by in a flash. The Mind Flayer attacked, Nancy shot at it a bunch, until she ran out of ammo and El fought it almost single-handedly. Suddenly the thing grabbed hold of Eleven’s ankle and almost took her away, as it intended to. Luckily Lucas grabbed the ax and took its tentacle, arm thing off and it dropped El.
You saw that the part of the Mind Flayer was still attached to her leg so you took it upon yourself to rip it off causing El to scream out in pain. She took it like a champ and stood up to finish off the creature by splitting it in half. Upon doing so she fell back into Max’s arms, but while you had the chance you wrapped your arm around your sister and helped her run out to the car.
><
While you guys were in the convenience store you got in touch with Dustin on the walkie-talkie and there was a code red situation, most likely meaning that him and Steve had somehow gotten into this mess. Once you guys had gotten Eleven all cleaned up you piled back into the car and headed to the mall where Dustin said that they were from what you could understand.
><
You entered in through the upper level entrance with the help of Lucas’ slingshot, sending a rock to break through one of the doors. You quietly moved around the upper level with no sight of anyone, you then heard someone speaking Russian from the lower level. Walking away from the main group you walk towards the rail that would overlook onto the bottom floor to see where the talking was coming from. You see a bunch of guys walking around and it seemed like they were looking really hard for something. Will notices that you aren’t with the group anymore and they suddenly join you next to the railing.
All of the guards are now focused on one specific area and you can’t help but get this really bad gut feeling. El notices the worry on your face and grabs hold of your hand. You look at her and a look of relief washes over your face.
“I think they might be over there” you whisper to El while pointing at one of The Great Cookie
Eleven nods in acknowledgement, then takes a step forward. She sticks out her arm and focuses on the car next to the guards. The car alarm goes off and that causes all of the guards to turn their attention away from whoever was behind the counter and to the car. They look up to see what’s causing the car to move, but before anyone could do anything El sends the car flying towards them killing them all instantly.
You see not one, but four heads pop up from behind the counter. You’re relieved when you see that one of those four people is Steve.
“Thank fucking God.” you say to yourself but it doesn't go unnoticed. Max nudges you with her elbow cocking an eyebrow at you with her signature smirk. You just roll your eyes and look back down over the ledge.
You see everyone start to head for the non-moving escalators so you follow in pursuit. Once you make it to the bottom of the ‘stairs’ you run directly to Steve and cling onto him like it’s the last time you’d ever see him. He hugs you back with just as much force before you pull away,
“Steve, what happened to your eye?” you ask holding onto his face checking out his face for other injuries.
“You know, evil Russians and what not.”
“The Russians?! Like secret code Russians? Shit”
“Secret code?” you hear Max ask
The next couple of minutes consist of everyone catching up on what's been going on. Learning that Steve, Robin, Erica and Dustin had been stuck down in a Russian underground base for the last 2 days all while you dealt with Billy and the flayed. No wonder he hadn’t been answering the phone.
You all converse back and forth until El collapses to the ground, when asked what was wrong she says that it’s her leg that hurts. Jonathan pulls off the bandages from earlier and reveals her bloody shin, along with something moving inside it. You almost vomit at the sight and have to turn away, Steve reaches out and puts a hand on your shoulder and rubs slightly.
As they were trying to get whatever was in her leg out, El was screaming out in excruciating pain, you couldn’t bear to see her in so much pain.Tears started forming in your eyes, when Steve noticed he held out his arm to you and you bury your face into his chest so you don't have to watch.
Jonathan did as much as he could until it was unbearable for her and she said that she could do it herself. As she was screaming, you turned around to face Eleven after the glass wall from the store behind you shattered all over the floor. You watch as she removes the piece of the Mind Flayer from her leg and sends it flying across the floor. As it tries crawling away a foot comes down and squishes it. You all look up to see who the foot belongs too, and an exhausted smile creeps onto your face, it's none other than your dad, Jim Hopper.
Taglist:
@ughhhitsfan @eleventhdoctorsangel @chloe-skywalker
#steve harrington#steve harrington imagines#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x reader#robin buckley#robin buckley x reader#robin buckley imagines#jonathan byers#nancy wheeler#jim hopper#crashing down#kait writes#steve harrington x hopper!reader#hopper!reader#stranger things#stranger things imagine#stranger things fic
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
Queen Of Mean (2/?) (Peter Parker X Dark! Stark! Reader)
A/N Part two of “Queen of Mean” Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I got a lot of requests to make another part for this so we’ll see if this lived up to anyone's expectations.
Warnings: Mental breakdown, fighting, death, cursing
Y/n tore apart her former room. The one her father helped her paint and furnish when she was fifteen. She glanced at the corkboard on the wall covered polaroids of her and Peter, she smiled longingly at the memories but shook her head.
“That’s not who I am anymore.”
She pulled out a small box from under her bathroom sink. It was filled to the brim with different hair A dyes and bleaches. She had a habit of randomly dying her hair in high-school and she was pleased to see that Pepper hadn’t thrown out her supply. She grabbed a bottle of white/grey and a bottle of bleach and stuffed them in her bag. When she stood she caught her reflection in the mirror. She had deep bags under her eyes, her cheekbones a little more pronounced than four months ago. Her once lively eyes were now dull and lifeless. She didn’t recognize the person looking back at her. A wet substance hit her hand and it took her a moment to realize she was crying. A strangled sob escaped her lips and her knees buckled. She held the sink to balance herself, her hands grabbed a small metal object. Scissors. She brought the sharp and shiny object to her face. Another cry left her lips as the blade chopped through her hair unevenly. Her glassy eyes widened in surprise, she just chopped a chunk of hair off.
“Too late to stop now.” She whispered clutching another section of hair, bringing the scissors up again. *SNIP*
Another bunch hit the floor. She laughed breathlessly and cut off another piece. Every chunk cut off was a weight lifted it off her chest. Soon her hair, that was once as long as mid-waist, was now a choppy bob no longer than her shoulders. She dropped the scissors on the counter and strolled back into her old room, ignoring the mess she’d just made. She sighed opening her closet looking for more shirts and jackets.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you here.”
Y/n’s eyes widened and she spun around to face the beautiful redhead.
“Hey, Mom.” Y/n smiled cautiously, shouldering her duffle bag
Pepper smiled sadly at her stepdaughter. “You look lost,” she commented.
“I don’t know what you mean,” the brunette’s eyes hardened.
“I miss my little girl,” the widow admitted stepping forward.
The teenager stepped back, “I’m not sorry, she’s long gone. But you have Morgan now, you don’t need me.”
Pepper’s eyebrows creased, “I still love you, you’re still my daughter.”
“You’re not my mother, Pepper!” Y/n shouted, “My mom didn’t want me! She left me to a man she didn’t even know, some fuck buddy who knocked her up! She left me, dad left me, Peter left me! So, what’s the point in caring if everyone just leaves.”
Tears streamed down Pepper’s face, “I’m sorry.”
Y/n shook her head, “It’s too late for sorry.”
She jumped out the window she originally entered through and disappeared into the night. Leaving her mother figure heartbroken.
_________
Y/n’s blue suit landed at her base on the outskirts of the city. Her gasping breaths shallow as tears clogged her throat. The suit retracted from her form and she stumbled out on the floor. Her cries echoed on the stone walls, pain evident in her voice.
“I don’t know what to do…” She whimpered curling up on her makeshift bed.
“I could help with that,” a voice from behind startled her.
Her suit responded quickly and attached to her arm fast enough for her to aim at the intruder. A man in a green and gold suit with a red cape.
“Quentin Beck,” the distressed girl recognized, her arm not faltering.
My handsome man smiled, “Hello, Y/n.”
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t blast you through the wall,” Stark threatened.
“Because I’ll help you get back at Parker.” Beck tempted.
Y/n hesitantly lowered her arm, “What do you want to do to him?”
“The kid has good spirit, but he is ruining all of my plans. With your brains and my technology we can bring the world to its knees.” He persuaded.
“What do I have to do?”
,
__________
Peter scouted the abandoned factory, his footsteps light and quiet in an attempt to go undiscovered. Of course, that would just be too convenient for the poor boy.
“Oh hey, Peter.” Mysterio’s voice spoke.
Peter whirled around to face the mastermind, “Beck! What are you up to now?”
“Oh, Spider-Boy, don’t you mean “what are we up to?”
Peter’s eyes widened as a feminine frame appeared from the shadows. Although her body donned a black leather cat-suit and her hair was now a silvery-white, Peter couldn’t mistake the hazel eyes behind the mask.
“Y/n…” He whispered.
“Hello, Peter. Nice to see you again.” Her voice was just as venomous as before.
Before Peter could reply a beam from Mysterio’s hands flashed towards him. He dodged as his senses tingled and his reflexes kicked in. Beam after beam assaulted the teenager but he was quicker. He shot webs at the psychopath in attempts to delay him but was quite futile. Peter overestimated his footing and stumbled to the ground, and loud charging noise was made and Peter braced himself, but the fatal blast never came.
“What are you doing?” Quentin’s words were broken.
Peter opened his eyes to see his ex wearing the E.D.I.T.H. glasses, with all the droids pointed, but not as him, at Beck.
“Like I would’ve ever let you hurt Peter,” Y/n said.
“You betrayed me-”
“Everyone get’s betrayed, Beck, I’m surprised you’re just now learning that.” She stated.
A shot rang from a droid and sunk into Mysterio’s head. His body hit the floor with a loud thud.
“Oh my god, y/n!” Peter shouted in horror, “You-you killed him!”
“He was going to kill you, Peter. And I hate you but I couldn’t let him do that.” Her chopped hair swayed as she walked closer. Peter scrambled back.
“I-No-You-”
“I know Peter, but think of it as a goodbye.”
“What?” He rushed to his feet.
“I’m done, Peter, I can’t do anything of this shit anymore.”
“Y/n I can help you, this isn’t you, I know who you are!”
“How can you know who I am when I don’t even know!” She snapped.
“Y/n, you don’t have to do this,” Peter begged.
“You don’t even know what I’m doing. I’m not going to be Y/n Stark “Iron Girl” anymore. I don’t need the suit anymore, I can do anything I want without it. And with Mysterio gone, there’s no one standing in my way. I may have saved you this time Parker, but cross me again and I can’t promise I will again.”
“I’m so sorry for everything Y/n-”
“Oh, I know you’re sorry. And soon, they’ll all be sorry. I will rule this city, I will bring it to its knees. And you’re fooling yourself if you think you can stop me. Because the only I’m going down is in a body bag.”
Y/n pressed a button on her bracelet shooting a small device onto Peter’s suit, in his strive to remove it buzz was sent through his body and his unconscious form hit the floor.
“Goodbye, Peter. Until next time…”
I went ahead and made a taglist of everyone who wanted a second part:
@im-a-deceptikhan @xximaweirdoxx @aspiring-fangirls-world @kissingtrutharchives @grimlusia @deartomholland @kii-miii
#Peter Parker X Reader#Peter Parker#Tom Holland#Tom Holland X Reader#Tony Stark X Daughter Reader#Marvel#Black Cat#Mysterio#Quentin Beck#Tony Stark#Angst#Bubblegum Holland#BubblegumHolland#Queen of Mean#She's gone
152 notes
·
View notes
Text
Winter’s Eye
Pairing: AU!CastielXReader
Word Count: 1560 (Ch. VII)
Story Summary: Season 13 canon tells you how AU!Castiel’s story ends, this is how it begins. The deranged and damaged iteration of Castiel we met in the apocalypse universe - an obedient soldier to Michael’s cause barely in control of his vessel’s frayed and erratically firing nerves whose inherent kindness toward humankind appeared entirely obliterated - wasn’t always an unfeeling angelic weapon of interrogation. Once, he sympathized with the plight of humans; one, he loved. Outlined for 10 chapters (although, my muse is bad at maths and these things have a way of multiplying).
Chapter Summary: As the connection between Cas and the reader finds firmer footing, a link from his past arises to threaten them both.
Previous Chapter: VI
VII.
“Are you kidding me?” The question explodes in a puff of breath on the frozen air; before you unfolds a pristine island of black tarvia, the filtered sun beating down on it with enough heated force to melt the snow anywhere pavement touches. Parking spaces outlined in regular intervals of yellow striping, and a handful of abandoned vehicles, radiate from the mountainous façade of a Mega-Mart.
Surveying the scene through the squinted blue optics of his vessel, Cas casts you a curious knotted-brow glance from where stands at the edge of where forest rings this convenient miracle of civilization seemingly constructed in the middle of nowhere. “Is something funny to you?” he asks, looking between you and a building too empty and too quiet for his instincts to trust; out here you’re exposed - a living breathing target unprotected by a buffer zone of wooded isolation – and he doesn’t like it one iota.
“No-” you laugh, further confusing his brow with the conflict inherent between your answer and attitude- “I guess I was expecting a rinky-dink general store fronting a small town main street. Not this-” You gesture at the looming building, a wonderland promising to contain anything and everything your heart could possibly desire and more. More, that is, beyond the surprise solace of sharing a cabin with your very own personal overly protective angel, of course.
“There is a highway not far from here, and a town like you describe – one whose populace was decimated by werewolves and worse. It’s not safe there or here,” he says gravely. And yet here you are, allowed to tag along against his better judgement because, in a moment of weakness of reason, he let an inexorably extant and angelically errant emotion of fondness for you overrule his head.
“We should hurry-” haste propels his feet forward; he curls a beckoning arm backward- “Stay close.”
You obey, legs scissoring at a trot to try to keep step with his purposeful stride. On level ground, it’s even more punishing a pace than the hike that hurried you here. Feeling the bite of blisters forming on the boney points of your heels and on the tops of your toes, you make note on your mental shopping list to search for a pair of better fitting boots and Band-Aids.
As you thoughts wander, he begins to outpace you. “Hey, where’s the fire?” you pant across the growing gap of distance.
Gradually getting the gist that not all questions you pose want answering given he observes no indications of a blaze in the immediate vicinity, he ignores the query, but not the subtext of comment on his speed, and slows until you catch up.
Approaching the sliding glass doors of the entrance, he notes they are intact and locked just as he last left them. A scattering of stone spilling outward from the threshold, not so accidental as it appears, lies undisturbed.
Strategically speaking, this would be the easiest egress for an intruder to gain entrance inside. The rear and side admittances are steel, chained, and padlocked. Still, with you to watch over, he does not permit these subtle reassurances to soothe his caution.
A flick of two fingers to focus his grace frees the dead bolt. He pries the doors apart with brute strength just far enough to permit you both to squeeze through. On last look out at the parking lot as he secures the doors shut, his regard is drawn heavenward to the horizon to a solitary silvery vapor streaking the otherwise uniformly tarnished gold glow of the sky – a wisp of airy nothingness so slim as to barely be noticed and the sort of smoky linear disturbance a plane would create in its wake as it passed - a contrail disturbing the pressure of the low atmosphere.
Except there are no planes, and there hasn’t been anything save the bodily bound bombs of angels skimming the firmament in flight - or, like him, falling in a smoldering ruin of fate - since the day Michael donned a crown formed by the flayed flesh and bone and souls of billions of humans and the emptied glory of the thousand and more angels who opposed him and whose snuffed existence stains, in a bloodied shadow of once brilliant light, Castiel’s hands.
In the seconds he spends considering the cloud, it dispels in a freshet of cool wind. It wouldn’t make sense, angels scouting here where there is nothing. They’ve done with him, banished him to dwell in and on his defeat, and ever since he etched a warding sigil upon the curved carriage of your ribs, they cannot so much as sense you exist.
Besides, with what you’ve told him of the holdouts of human resistance groups, why waste heavenly resources hunting one human in a haystack of the wild when bigger targets persist.
The tear of a candy bar wrapper loudly resonates in the benumbed and stagnant space; the crumpling of plastic and crunch of chocolate crust is swallowed up as eagerly by the silence as your gullet.
“I missed these,” you mumble and moan in immodest taste bud titillating pleasure around a mouthful of melted sugary goodness as his gaze rounds to seek out the source of the sound.
“Shh-” he scolds; the grit of worry in the warning hushes you instantly.
Terror tightens your throat so that you cannot swallow the amalgam of sugar and saliva held amid your teeth and tongue. Heart seizing, then pounding with such ferocity each ferried beat of fear shudders your frame, bits of brown moisture ooze at the trembling corners of your clinched jaw.
In the depths of the store, somewhere down a darkened aisle, winding to reach his celestially superior discernment, a soft scraping of fabric and rubber soles, slightly sticky on the tiled floor despite the feather-lightness of the footsteps, faintly perforates the calm.
Lashes widened in alarm quickly narrow again in a lethality of resolve; an inner luminance of blue burns in his searching gaze as he shifts a few steps into the eerie fringes of where the window light bleeds into the dimness. When he shakes his sleeve, you see a glint of metal flash into his grip.
Adrenaline opens up your veins and, also oiling your muscles to fight or flee from this place, it permits you to thickly and audibly gulp the wad of partially chewed chocolate nougat.
He extends the hand unburdened by a blade out at you, a movement meaning to say that you should do neither and duck out of sight behind the register.
You misread the purely practical physicality of his request and instead cede to the instinctive tug at your emotions to meet his fluttering fingers halfway, meshing yours into the warm sanctuary of their apertures and securing your other arm through the crook of his elbow to flatten his entire weaponless limb to your chest.
To say the action – a clingy suggestion of deeply rooted trust, concern, and consequently of a firm belief in his ability to shield you in the face of danger - catches him off guard would be an understatement.
However, with a hiss of his name in a tone familiar to him as that of his unwaveringly loyal lieutenant and sister – Rachel – slicing through the dark loud enough, even, for you to hear the anger and resentment whetting the knife of feminine voice, he has no time to analyze the exhilarating effect your embrace and corporal nearness exerts upon his being, nor does he permit more than a speck of added anxiety to alter the determination of his affect.
Pivoting, his typically stony rigidity a balletic display of swiftness, grace, and fluid urgency, he covers your mouth, pins you flush against the waist-high wall of the register, and very briefly steals your breath in the press of his hips against yours. The dynamism of his blues, desperately sparking hue dancing less than an inch from your flared lids, implores you to stay there no matter what happens.
He’s certain she heard you - can hear the wild banging of pulse within your body just as clearly as he can – she is, after all, an angel, and a sometime ally sympathetic to humanity who is not as dead as he presumed and evidently has an axe to grind with him.
If you stay out of her way, you may yet survive. Castiel maintains less hope for himself, and before he found you, he would’ve welcomed whatever retribution she required up to and including his life – a life sunken into meaninglessness and seeped in suffering; but now, staring into your eyes, their pleading concern begging him to be careful, to not leave you alone, he feels reason to fight.
Numbed by panic, limbs turning into immovable lead weights of worry for him, you feebly nod against the electrically charged scent of his skin a promise to stay put for his sake and collapse as he pushes you down to your knees and into the alcove underneath.
You watch the lower portion of his legs retreat from your sight and disappear into the gloom. Straining to hear what is happening, the pain pinching your heart in his absence drums dully in your ears and pulls with each strung and stinging beat at the fluid filling the blisters on your feet.
Castiel tag list: (Closed, if you’d like to be removed please let me know!) @jeepangel @sammiesamness @willowing-love @blueicevalkyrie @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11 @thesugargalaxy @bluetina-blog @dont-trust-humanity @afanofmanystuffs @honeybeetrash @bucky-thorin-winchester @superwholockz @tistai @wordstothewisereaders @gill-ons @mrswhozeewhatsis @marisayouass @stone-met @castiel-savvy18 @samualmortgrim @trexrambling @magnificent-mantle @kdfrqqg @xdifsx @mandilion76 @rockfairy @peaceloveancolor @unicorntrooper @anisolatedship @itsilvermorny @aditimukul @kudosia @goofynerd-67babylove @uninspirationalsonglyrics @gray-avidan @mishascupcake @mishapanicmeow @praisecastielamen @roseyhxnt @jessikared97 @let-the-imaginationflow @warriorqueen1991 @sebastianstanslefteyebrow @hisnameisboobear @kristendanwayne @fuschiarulerinthebluebox @coolpencilpie @jenabean75 @luciathewinchestergirl @morganas-pendragons @heyitscam99 @fangirl-and-stuff @selahbela @realgreglestrade @splendidcas @pointlesscasey @i-larb-spooderman @thewhiterabbit42 @thelostverse @castieliswatchingoverme @beccollie18 @dragonett8 @dixie-chick @jtownraindancer @carowinsthings @passionghost @ladyofletters67 @futureparent @gabbie7-11 @myfandomlife-blog @dreamerkim @shamelesslydean @earthtokace @neaeri @justanormalangel @lone-loba @supernaturalymarvel @lilrubixx @wings-and-halo @x-cassiopeia @thehoneybeecastielfollows @musiclovinchic93 @81mysteriouslyme @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @jaylarkson @pixiedusts @spookysculderfiles @laqueus-ludovicus @missjenniferb @lexininja @jessiekay2010 @skrratata @rhiannonj79 @calicat79
#au!castiel x reader#castiel x you#castiel x reader#spn x reader#castiel#castielxreader#castielxyou#cas x reader#cas x you#reader x castiel#you x castiel#castiel readerfic#apocalypseversecastiel#au!castiel#castiel reader insert#castiel fanfic#spn fanfic#cricket writes cas
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
A PALE BLUE GHOST
over on the discord, i announced my decision to make another trip to the Edge to try my luck at finding any kind of clue that could help me make sense of it. patrick gave me a whole lot of lip about not using his fucking mirror and other bullshit, but ill save that for another post. this is a lot more fresh and painful for me.
going back outside was a mistake.
i journeyed the five hours it took to get to the impenetrable black wall of the Edge. my plan was to walk down its length, survey anything unusual, you know. obviously i wouldnt have been able to observe all of it in one day as ive mentioned the area it covers is rather large, but i felt some effort was better than none at all, and i wasnt exactly comfortable with the idea of spending the night this far away from the house. simple enough right? there was nothing out of place on the way out here, so i hardly expected what i saw just as i approached the wall.
it was jeff. sort of.
when i first saw him, he appeared almost like a reflection of me in the blackness. as i stepped closer to the wall, so did he step forward as well - until eventually seeming to step out of the wall entirely. we stood face to face, a mere foot apart, and i noticed then that his entire being was tinted with a pale blue.
i was terrified. i wanted to run away, but i couldnt make myself do it. so i asked timidly, "what are you doing here?"
jeff seems to come alive then.
"what? you told me to grab some stuff for the video today."
fucking bastard. i was still scared, but somehow i just knew he was mocking me. i frown, reaffirming my stance. i had to ask myself if jeff would even do such a thing to me...and then i figured yeah, probably - ghost or not.
"dont you dare pull that bullshit on me," i said, "those days are long gone." and they were.
jeff laughs. "don't you miss it? simpler times." he splays his hands out like an offering. "cant be all that bad to pretend, for a little while."
i squint my eyes at him - both of them. these days i dont bother wearing an eyepatch, since the point was for evans comfort to begin with. now it doesnt matter that i have a gaping fucking hole in my head for all to see.
i ball my fists at my sides. "i dont have time to pretend, and i dont have time for this conversation - so lets get to the point. why are you here?"
"to see my old friend again! and to tell you there's always more than meets the eye." jeff then taps a finger underneath his left eye, and a phantom pain throbs in my own empty socket. i try to ignore it.
"yeah, no shit," i say, and cross my arms. i was losing my patience. "if you're just going to spout vague nonsense at me like every other motherfucker does on a constant basis, i'm sorry to say but i will have to pass. i have more important things to do."
"like stand in front of this wall and bitch? is that what you're doing here?" jeff grins, and tilts his head at me. i just scoff, and deciding i had enough, i begin trying to do what i came to the wall for in the first place and begin walking parallel to it. jeff follows after me.
"im only bitching because here you are to distract me," i say, side-eyeing him, "so if you don't mind, kindly fuck off."
"i do mind, actually. why do you even want to leave? its paradise in here. no need to eat or drink, perfect climate, no irritating neighbors or awkward staredowns at the grocery store- you'd love it!"
i stop in my tracks. i hate that the sound of his voice is enough to get me to actually consider his words. but i do, and then i say:
"you know, for a while there, i did enjoy it. to an extent, anyways. you can only enjoy so much when you are all too aware of every little fucking thing. and maybe i could have handled the ghost thing, right? like you said, no neighbors or weird interactions. but then i saw this wall, and now i feel like a trapped animal - and im not okay with that."
"so if you couldnt see the wall, it'd be fine?"
i shake my head, "i came out here the first time to see if i could leave, and i wouldve kept walking if there was nothing to stop me. maybe i would have returned, after a while, had i done so. maybe not." i shrug, somewhat frustrated at the thought. "a wall is a wall, whether i can see it or not. seeing isnt the problem, the existence of the thing is."
"well yeah, but you can't just leave." jeff says it like its obvious. in hindsight, maybe it was. i could already imagine a few reasons as to why, but i wanted to pry out what jeff seems to think the answer is.
so i ask, "and why is that?"
jeff answers: "because there's...people, out there? like, innocent fuckin people, dude." well duh.
i roll my eyes, "im aware. but what does that have to do with me, exactly? habit is already somewhere else doing god knows what."
jeff looks on blankly. "we don't need two of you out there."
ouch. and unfortunately, on some level i believe it to be true. and the implication that i would intentionally hurt or even kill anyone like habit would...im sadly all too aware of the likelihood, really. it doesnt hurt because i feel bad, it hurts because i dont. however, i wasnt about to let this guy know that.
i say, "it's not like id be very social anyways. at this point, i dont think i could even stomach it."
jeff takes on a darker sort of air about him. "evidently so, based on how you treated evan. do you have your head screwed on straight, dude? because like, holy shit was that hard to watch."
i tense up, and i can feel a spark of anger rising from within me. guess it didnt matter what i tried to hide, jeff knew what weak points to hit.
"i was just trying to protect him."
"uh huh," he nods, "sorry vinny, but you're not the guardian in this one."
"clearly," i grumble, "but i was fucking trying, okay?" i was trying. jeff thought otherwise.
"yeah, trying to get everyone killed. thanks for that one, by the way. you've been self absorbed, irresponsible, reckless and horrible to everyone around you that isn't the entity playing games with our lives, and you can't keep pretending it's not true! do some soul searching. meditate. i don't care. but you're not leaving any time soon, so you'd better get used to it." jeff jabs me in the chest with a pointed finger.
it didnt take but a moment to process jeffs words, and ultimately, i agree with him. im a terrible fucking person. i just am. but i wasnt going to give jeff the satisfaction of me fessing up to it - because i felt like all of this was beginning to become unproductive bullshit and i wanted to do what i came all the way out here to do dammit.
i go to smack jeffs hand away from me, but i come to find that i simply pass through him like he was air. i felt the jab, though, even if superficially. this confirms my suspicion about the ghost thing, but jeff was different from the ghosts in the town; like being able to talk and acknowledge my existence.
i take a step back, "we'll see about that. who the fuck made this wall, hm? you of all things must know right? since you are apparently a plethora of knowledge of good and evil now. can you do that much for me jeff?"
jeff considers my words before he turns away from me to face the terrible wall, his hands on his hips, and his head craning back to presumably observe the wall's endless climb into the sky above.
"habit designed this gaudy architecture as part of his grand scheme. you probably could have figured that much, eh? but what you wouldnt know is that its been here since the very beginning, before you even arrived at the house." he looks back at me, "come on vin. you should know by now that habit is well prepared...even if this timeline is bonkers. you shouldnt need me to tell you that."
i grumble in annoyance, but consider his words carefully. sure, maybe i didnt need him to tell me habit was a suspect in all this, and maybe i could have figured that out just by doing what i had originally planned with scouting the perimeter of the wall. but...here jeff was, telling me things outright. it was a convenient time saver really, even if he was going about it in a bitchy way. i needed to take advantage of this.
"so, if habit made this cage to keep me in, why shouldnt i try to break out? why shouldnt i try to fight his subjugation?"
"one, because habit has eons of experience over you and you'll likely fuck something up really badly," jeff says, and turns towards me again. "two, you're part of this place now. removing you would shatter a really delicate balance. the house is a place of fluctuation, because there's not enough power to sustain herself. and you're radiating power, dude. would you really just abandon her like that, after all she's done to keep you safe and alive?"
ouch again...ugh. i dont usually feel guilty over a lot of things, but jeffs second point seemed to get to me.
i relent. i cower my head to stare at the ground. "i wouldnt have left her forever."
jeff gives me a disappointed sigh. "go back home, man. she's really worried about you."
i bite my lip and give the slightest of nods. i still want to do what i can to escape, and i hadnt forgotten about why i came to the wall in the first place...but jeff's words had me thinking about my desires for the house. in truth, the house and i have formed a strange sort of...i dunno, friendship? its the closest human word i can think for it. i would talk to her, she would listen. id even clean up her rooms, even though ive observed that she can do it by herself.
i think she may be the only thing in this world that can understand me now.
so i feel like in some weird way, the house cares about me. she has done quite a few favors for me, after all; favors that kept me safer. jeff was right again, and i couldnt shake the wrongness of abandoning the house enough to continue talking my way out of this bind.
it was time to go then. but first, i look back up at jeff.
"what about you?" i ask, my mood seriously taking a nose dive off a cliff. sad and desperate and pathetic and lonely. "you came all this way from wherever, however you did it, to tell me all this...are you going to leave me now too, just like evan?" fuck. "i wouldn't blame you if you did...but i have to admit, it was nice seeing you again."
and truthfully, it was - despite the treatment i received. its fine. i deserved it.
jeff leans in, and i can feel the pity in his eyes as he puts a hand on my shoulder.
"that choice isn't mine to make."
and then he shoves me away from the wall with a force that sends me tumbling across the ground a good few feet. i think it fucked up my shoulder. its fine. deserved that too.
and then i went home.
>>
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Symphogear, Ep. 6 (Cont.)
Hibiki, having seen a horror upon horrors, immediately asks Tsubasa if she’s okay. Tsubasa points out she’s a hospital patient, why would you ask this question, you insensitive prick. Hibiki points to the following scene:
Now, you may be asking yourself. “How does a formerly comatose person who is now bedridden on an IV drip manage to do this much damage?” Simply put, Tsubasa has a very chaotic aura. She doesn’t even have to take stuff out of her room; the places she goes to just naturally wind up like this. It’s a metaphor for how much of an absolute mess this person is simply by existing.
“l-look i just- its hard to organize things and- im more of a visual person and-”
“BITCH YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?”
Hibiki unwittingly gets her revenge on Tsubasa. She doesn’t realize it, but her lecturing Tsubasa on what an absolute mess every facet of her life is could possibly be heralded as her lowest point in the entire series.
No, wait. Thinking about it now, this is her second lowest. We won’t see her lowest until GX comes along.
“hibiki, every single bone in my body is broken, you dont have to break my pride too”
Hibiki, being an absolute darling, actually picks up Tsubasa’s mess. This is more than she can say about her own messes.
“haha, miku usually does this for me! wait- wait a minute.”
“i dont get it. i tried to kill you. i tormented and ignored you. i refused to help you for months. i failed to train you on any facet of combat as your senior. i nearly let you get kidnapped and, failing that, nearly killed myself while making you watch, which ALSO didnt help you not get kidnapped aside from scaring the shit out of that weird lady. why are you... helping me?”
“because either we’re going to be very good friends or im going to toss you out the window personally!”
“oh god, that aggression screams kanade. i cant not like her.”
Absolutely annihilated. Just kick her while she’s down in her Taco Bell spiral of humiliation and self-discovery, Hibiki.
“it’s okay, tsubasa! you may be a terminal dumbass, but im sure if we all work together, we can share our braincells and become collectively smarter, for each other!”
“interesting theory. how many ya got?”
“ZERO!”
They trade the kind of banter two people with 0 brain cells would have and then Tsubasa points out Hibiki is doing a great job in her place.
“hey hey HEY HOLD THE PHONE IVE LEARNED MY LESSON IM NOT TRYING TO REPLACE YOU OKAY IM NOT YOU, IM JUST HIBIKI, DOING HER JOB, ALRIGHT”
Meanwhile, in the library, Miku is looking at books, as she does what she says she’s gonna do, unlike a certain other person cavorting with cute idols.
“The Gay Way: How to Get Your Same Sex Relationship Back On Track, by Dr. Lesbe Honest. wow, this one is right up my alley.”
Okay, I’m gonna be honest with you. I literally forgot they show you the title in this. Imagine my face when I made up that title on the spot only to be hit with this little number. Holy shit, Symphogear. There’s this thing called subtlety. I’m begging you. We get it.
OH, AND IT GETS BETTER, BECAUSE
THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK IS THE WRITER OF THE SHOW
IT’S LITERALLY GOT HIS NAME ON IT
THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF WRITING A STORY AND THEN INSERTING A BOOK CALLED “LEARN THE PLOT” WRITTEN BY YOU, IN UNIVERSE
KANEKO STOP THIS BALONEY, PLEASE
AND LIKE FUCKING CLOCKWORK SHE JUST- SHE TURNS HER HEAD AWAY FROM THE BOOK TITLED “THIS IS THE PLOT MOTIF” BY “AUTHOR” AND THEN FUCKING
SHE CONVENIENTLY LOOKS OVER TO THE DISTANCE
AND SHE SEES HIBIKI WITH THE HOT IDOL MIKU WAS INTO, THAT THEY WERE BOTH A FAN ON, AND SHE’S JUST CHILLING THERE AND MIKU WAS TOLD HIBIKI’S ON SERIOUS BUSINESS
AND THE HOSPITAL QUARTERS ARE SOMEHOW CONVENIENTLY CONNECTED TO THE FUCKING LIBRARY ON FULL DISPLAY BECAUSE GOD KNOWS EVERYONE IN A LIBRARY HAS TO WATCH SICK PEOPLE DIE IN REAL TIME
AND NOW MIKU IS THINKING “OH MY FUCKING GOD IM BEING CHEATED ON” AND HER FEELINGS ARE HURT FOR THIS TOTALLY CONTRIVED FUCKING COINCIDENCE
AND SHE’S ALL “BOO HOO HOO I’VE BEEN NTR’D! THIS WAS A CUCKING PLOT THIS WHOLE TIME! WOE IS ME!” FUCK YOU. THIS IS THE WORST. THIS IS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE WHY WOULD YOU- WHY DO YOU EVEN NEED TO SET THIS UP? THERE’S SO MANY BETTER WAYS TO DO THIS!
AND SHE’S JUST STARING BACK AT THE BOOK WRITTEN BY THE SAME ASSHOLE WHO WROTE THIS ENTIRE DAMN SCENARIO IN THE FIRST PLACE, AN EVIL GOD MOCKING HIS SUBJECTS IN THE FACE OF SCRUTINY FOR DRAMA WITH THE MOST CLICHE LOVE NOTES IN A GODDAMNED SOAP OPERA
AND HIBIKI IS NONE
THE
FUCKING
WISER
SYMPHOGEAR SURE IS GREAT, HUH? I SURE DO LOVE SYMPHOGEAR WITH ALLLLLL MY HEART. WHAT A WELL WRITTEN MASTERPIECE! FUCKING BELONGS IN THE FUCKING MOMA!!!!!
Okay. Okay. Let’s get that out of our system. The worst is over. This is the, uh, crescendo of the bad side plot as it inevitably sets itself on the road to resolution. I’m not going to have an aneurysm. My brain is not going to split itself in half. We’re good. I swear, we’re good.
Tsubasa, meanwhile, wants to understand why Hibiki fights, wrestling with the Da Vinci code that is her own emotions. She points out the fight against the Noise isn’t a game, and it ain’t no comic book bullshit either. It’s real, it’s out there, and it’s not pretty yet easily marketable as cute mascots. And what does our protagonist say? No making it up, she literally says:
“i dunno”
Not a damn brain cell in her body, but props for keeping it real. I’d likely say the same thing.
This is the face of someone currently sucking air through their teeth at the raw frustration that someone would be dumb enough to risk their life for the sake of only helping others.
“listen. im gonna keep it real here. i suck at literally everything. math. social studies. writing. helping people is all i have, because its not a competition. you just... you do it. you dont get better at helping people, you just help. like, thats it. i dunno what else to tell you.”
Then Hibiki points out that she feels it all started with Kanade saving her, and the speech implies its a ‘pay it forward’ sort of affair. She was saved, and so she should save others. Unfortunately, it comes off more as a guilt complex. “I lived, and I feel bad about that, so I gotta save everyone else” kind of stuff.
“its my coping mechanism for my countless traumas!”
“i get it now. you’re just as much of a mess as i am. you just dont show it as much. that kinda thinking’s gonna get you killed.”
Tsubasa then correctly points out that it is a kind of survivor’s guilt, where she wants to be released from the pain of old wounds, completely unaware of the irony of her statement.
“yeah. i get ya. we’re both wrecks. but... we can be wrecks working together.”
This would be the part where she says I’M SORRY but apparently we just don’t fucking do apologies in Symphogear, huh? Too good for ‘em, eh?! God.
Then they go outside and talk more about stuff and Durandal. The summation:
“do you have the capacity to live a life forever kicking ass?”
“yeah”
Hibiki, coming to terms with how she wants to deal with shit, manages to sharpen (haw) her resolve as to who she is and how she uses her abilities.
Meanwhile...
youtube
“i cant believe hibiki is having an affair with an attractive idol popstar. especially my favorite one from their old band. not only is she cheating on me, but she’s cheating on me from one of the five people on my lists id immediately get with if i had the chance. it feels like a double betrayal. a real life one, and a fantasy one... why do i find this weirdly hot...?”
“HEY NEWCOMER WELCOME TO THE CUCK AND BUCK WHERE WE SELL FRESHLY FRIED CUCKS FOR ONE BUCK, REAL EASY, REAL CHEAP, GOOD OL’ FASHIONED JAPANESE SOULFOOD”
“ive come to take my throne. i’ll take the ‘one flew over the cuckoo’s nest” and have the three eggs over easy with the ‘easy sleazy pancakes’”
“make it an extra lonely helping. this is gonna be a long afternoon.”
“ahhh. a freshly cucked newcomer coming to the cuck and buck to duck amongst their bad luck run amok, huh?”
“listen dont sass me about my busy girlfriend with your dr. seuss antics just gimmie the food and lets get this over with”
“no problem! sorry, they just come easy. it’s hard to buck at the cuck and buck when rhymes you huck make you wanna fu-”
“FOOD. NOW.”
Miku then ponders about how her feelings may have spiraled from a process of over thinking, or possibly hunger. Maybe both. Maybe Hibiki isn’t cheating on her. Maybe the reasons are more complicated than she knows. She briefly contemplates communication; a futile gesture when it is Hibiki safeguarding a secret she is forced to keep for incredibly stupid reasons.
“thanks for the food, miss. it really helped sort my feelings out.”
“no probs, kid. here at the cuck and buck, the only thing we cuck here is... our hearts.”
Meanwhile, Hibiki is still hanging with Tsubasa. Hey, if you’re gonna hang out with a critically acclaimed popstar, might as well squeeze every minute out of it, right?
“so... taco bell, huh? im surprised you actually like taco bell now. maybe you just like fast food styled psuedo-mexican restraunts? have you tried chipotle?”
“i... maybe you’re right, actually. i’ve grown to love taco bell, but... maybe i should expand my horizons. kanade did say... singing makes you hungry. maybe thats what she meant. i should take to new life experiences...”
“yeah! i can take you to all the good fast food places i know!”
“dont you have a girlfriend?”
“she can join us! she’s a big fan of you after all!”
“hey- hey wait! m- more friends? more... more friends... more friends.....”
“more friends...”
Meanwhile, a crisis develops.
Chris, having heard the f-word (friendship), is heading immediately to do the exact opposite of this.
She’s taken some pointers from Tsubasa, t-posing to assert dominance.
“how the fuck is she even flying”
“i cant wait to tell hibiki how much i love and appreciate her despite the weird NTR aura surrounding this whole situation”
“yeah, that’s right! i’m meeting the Gremlin in the park for an asskicking, don’t worry!”
“oh, speak of the devil! hibiki! i love and appreciate you despite the weird ntr auras!”
“miku- wait. oh no. i saw this happen in sam reimi’s spiderman 3. im fucked.”
“YOU GUESSED CORRECTLY, PIDGEON BANGS”
I know I’ve joked about homewrecking, but this is ridiculous.
Chris realizes there’s someone else around she may have potentially hurt. This is surprising, given murder is not something she has shyed away from, but she’s slowly climbing that ladder of morality, so cut her some slack for taking it one rung at a time.
“im losing my girl. losing my grip. now im about to lose my life. this NTR business truly is the worst.”
Chris has accidentally employed the Dio Brando style of disposing of people, which consists of throwing a vehicle and smashing them until dead.
“you’ve taken one step too close to my heartstrings, Gremlin, and for that you’re about to understand the full definition of an ass kicking.”
Hibiki fucking punches the car. Everything is forgiven in this episode for now.
“i... hibiki... are you... a street fighter character? holy shit. oh my god. hibiki oh my god you’re a street fighter character. thats been the true problem here. you’re a street fighter character now. oh my god. cheating? how could i have thought cheating was involved? you were literally just becoming a straight up superhero! oh my god. the abs! the washboard abs! the signs were all around me! the only thing you went to do behind my back was kick ass!”
“i’m sorry. i need to go kick ass now.”
The good news is all that tension just got evaporated. Miku sorta gets the truth now: her girlfriend hasn’t been cheating on her, she’s just been trying to save the local tri-county area from the grips of inter-dimensional alien eldritch entities controlled by a Gremlin and her Mistress. It’s a lot to take in, though.
These two are about to fight head to head. Last time, Hibiki was but the pupil. Now, she is the Master.
“can’t touch me, goldie locks. lemme do you a favor and CRACK THAT WHIP!”
“oh my god hibiki’s gonna fight that weird looking person”
“naruto running deeper into the woods isn’t gonna stop me from beating your ass senseless, fists for brains”
“thats because i wanna talk, asshole”
“wait. wait, what? you... you want to talk? to me?”
Hibiki proceeds to aggressively describe herself to her. Name, identity, blood type, age, the works. This is because she’s trying to befriend her, because Hibiki feels fighting people is bad, and that talking is more useful than fighting. This is a recipe for suicide, normally, but in this instance...
“what in the goddamn hell... i... um... nice.. to meet you...?”
Hibiki deploys a counter-T-Pose to show kinship, feeling that they don’t have to fight like this since they’re not Noise.
“talk may be cheap but it’ll make kicking your ass all the more easier, nerd”
Chris learns this, in fact, does not make the ass kicking all the more easier. Hibiki’s fresh new moves manage to dodge whip after whip of Chris’s attacks, and it’s really starting to annoy her a lot.
“pain in the ass. so you learned how to fight, huh? fine. you’ll tire out eventually.”
“let’s just talk, seriously! or maybe we can bond over board games-”
“i FUCKING hate board games. the fuck are you, a grandma? just fight already! people cant understand each other anyway!”
“JUST DIE ALREADY!”
“i was told to kidnap you. but im exerting a loophole today; no one told me to do it alive”
“the only kidnapping going down is me, sleeping in on a thursday afternoon forgetting class exists, you neon porcupine. so come at me. can’t kick me ass if you dont come any closer, right?”
“WITH PLEASURE!”
“ive watched the entirety of dragonball z, i know exactly how this fight’s gonna go down”
“finally. looks like i got y- hey, wait, what?”
“ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY JANKING MY LEG? THIS BITCH IS LITERALLY GOKU? PULLING KAMEHAMEHAS AND SHIT? WHY? god. its me. yukine chris. why do you hate me. why do you drag me through all this shit only to be hit in the head with some real anime baloney. why. please. have some mercy.”
“i dont know what a goku is but sure, yeah, why not”
“im going to kill her. oh my god. she doesnt even know who goku is.”
“get that tentacle shit away from me. im not fucking around anymore. we’re going to have a heart to heart whether you like it or not!”
“oh shit she found my weakness. really close melee combat.”
“MADE A FRIENDSHIP GIFT FOR YA. IT’S A FRESHLY MADE KNUCKLE SANDWICH, STRAIGHT FROM THE DELI”
“OH GOD, PLEASE, NOT MY FACE”
“REQUEST ACCEPTED, PAL”
Hibiki punched her so hard that she physically destroyed the entire armor Chris was wearing in a single blow.
“she... she doesnt punch ME like that... i mean, probably because she loves me, but..”
“did... did she just kill that person...? hibiki...? you, uh... you alright...?”
38 notes
·
View notes
Link
Chapters: 6/8
Rating: Mature
Relationships: Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford
Summary:
Angsty Cullrian story about what happens if everything goes wrong after it’s fixed?
Note: This work is experimental storytelling for me. I initially wrote if for the Cullrian Discord I participate in (The Herald’s Rest, check it out!) but decided to go ahead and publish it. Expect to see a new chapter every few days.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phase 6: Desire
Cullen moved unnoticed through the Winter Palace, aided by the use of some darkened hair and Bull's eyepatch along with a 'borrowed' Fereldan guard's uniform. Certainly he carried himself like a soldier, and no one thought to question his presence amongst so many others. Though he took care to avoid Inquisition members, both past and present, he also noticed that they all seemed to remain together in one corner of the Palace, not really interacting with the other forces present. His goal was information: who was here, what their goal was, and how he could use it to his advantage.
He saw people he knew, of course: Divine Victoria, cool gaze surveying the assemblage in clear calculation; Lady Seeker Cassandra, her hand resting on the hilt of her sword as she stared towards the Inquisition party with a frown; Viscount Varric, hiding his anxiety at the gathering by needling Bran with his sharp wit. He knew that all three would notice and wonder at the absence of Bull and, of course, himself, and so he took pains to avoid their gaze as much as possible, even taking to abrupt changes of direction and, a few times, moving behind convenient bushes and pillars to avoid scrutiny.
It was following one of those spontaneous examinations of the darkness between some bushes that he heard a voice which made him freeze in place, transfixed.
Yes, Mother, I am well aware of the fact, but I insist he remain with me.
The intonation, the timbre, even the edge of irritation: it formed a specific image in Cullen's mind, causing an involuntary flush to touch his cheeks. The flush quickly turned to a pallor, however, as he wondered why Dorian was at the Exalted Council. Surely the Inquisitor wouldn't have sent for him, would she?
No. No, of course not. Unless she did it strictly to mock Dorian with Cullen's absence from the Council, but that would be a petty maneuver even for her.
Probably, anyway.
Surely you won't be taking him around the Winter Palace? a woman's voice replied to Dorian, pulling Cullen back into the present. Do you not have business to which you must attend?
With a frown, Cullen edged towards the voices, striving for a glimpse, wondering what he would see. His heart rose to his throat as he saw Dorian lean down and pick up a sturdy looking young lad, holding him close as he looked towards someone hidden from sight by a bush. Something about the boy struck Cullen straight to his heart, and he knew without needing to be told that the lad was Dorian's son.
Even as he tried to process the full implications of that, Cullen stared as Dorian replied to the woman. I am not my father. I do not believe my son to be an inconvenience. Now, if you will excuse me, I must be about my business.
And with that, Dorian turned and walked away from her--towards the bushes where Cullen had sought shelter.
Instinctively Cullen shrank back until Dorian had passed, but the same instincts spurred him into motion to follow. Why he did so instead of simply letting the man disappear into the grounds, he wasn't sure, but he could no more ignore Dorian's presence than he could stop breathing.
He did his best to avoid notice as he followed Dorian into the gardens of the Winter palace, and thought himself quite unnoticed--up until the moment when he turned a corner and took two steps into an oddly empty dead-end in. Even as he realized that he'd lost sight of Dorian and before his long-neglected Templar skills could warn him, he found himself surrounded by the glow of a magical glyph which held his limbs still, and felt something poke him in the back as an achingly familiar voice breathed into his ear, Well, well. What have we here? Did Mother send you?
Cullen struggled to answer, but found himself prevented from answering by the spell. He wasn't sure he could have spoken, frankly, considering the strange sensation that worked down his spine in memory of the last time that man had whispered so intimately into his ear. His mouth grew dry as he struggled to speak, but the prodding in his back dug deeper.
You can go tell her it's too late. He's safe, Dorian murmured. Safe in the hands of those who will never give him back to her. Run along, now, but don't try anything precipitous. You don't want to learn how far I will go to protect my son.
As Cullen felt the magic slip away, he sagged in place. Reaching up slowly, he tugged the eyepatch from his head and let it dangle in his hand as he took a shuddering breath, then breathed the word he'd been craving to say for what seemed like an eternity.
Amatus.
He heard a swift intake of breath behind him, just before the staff returned to press into his back. It wasn't painful, but he felt the disbelief pouring from Dorian even as he said, No. The Inquisitor made a point to tell me *he wasn't here. You seek to deceive me, distract me.*
Cullen closed his eyes, hearing the anger in the voice, but even deeper than that hearing an old, muted agony which mirrored his own. She doesn't know I'm here. Did you really think the Commander of the Inquisition would wander around in a Fereldan uniform with an eyepatch on?
There was a long pause as Dorian's breath rang harshly in the closeness of the arboreal corridor. Cullen felt Dorian lean close, felt a feather light touch on his hair, heard a soft sound as Dorian inhaled deeply. Abruptly there was a muffled thud as something long and hard dropped to the ground in the same instant that arms wrapped around him and squeezed the breath from him.
Amatus, Dorian whispered in his ear. It is you.
How Cullen managed to turn around while in such a tight grip he could not later remember. All he cared about was the moment his lips found Dorian's, the moment when the world toppled and lurched its way back into an upright and proper position once more. For a moment, nothing else mattered save for the musky scent lingering in the man's hair, or the trembling of Dorian's hands as they cupped Cullen's face. The kiss grew from tentative to tender, then toppled into tempestuous in a matter of moments. Air quickly grew scarce, but that didn't matter. This was Dorian, after all.
Even perfection could not last forever, however, and Cullen reluctantly released Dorian when their lungs simply could not be denied further attention. Their gazes remained locked, however, and Cullen let himself take in all the subtle ways in which Dorian had changed: longer hair which he itched to explore, deeper lines around his eyes and on his forehead which spoke of care, and a hollowness under his eyes which spoke of a lingering pain still unabated. His hands rose to cradle that precious face, his thumbs running over Dorian's cheeks as he felt himself subject to the same scrutiny.
Finally Dorian spoke. I thought you were...taken.
I was taken, Cullen said softly. Just not in the manner which you assumed. After a harsh swallow, Cullen explained in short, soft words exactly how he'd been taken, against his will, by the Inquisitor. Somehow, during that entire time, not one soul interrupted them. This was definitely a good thing, since somewhere along the way, the explanation changed from a numb recitation to comfort, and from comfort to carnality. By that point, Cullen suspected it was a comfort for both of them, a memory of the last time they had both been truly happy.
Vaguely he was aware of the branches and brambles digging into his back through the leather armor as Dorian's mouth explored his hardening length at...well, at length, and his fingers fisted in the man's much more grippable hair as a soft moan escaped his lips. From that point, there was no turning back, and soon their lips were again locked in passion as Cullen's hands held Dorian's legs tight around his waist, his own hips rolling in a barely remembered rhythm which made the mage moan into his mouth. He soon discovered that there was no way to draw out the encounter, not after how long they'd been apart, and soon enough they both embraced bliss in the same moment, their cries muted only by each other's lips.
It took a long, solid minute for Cullen to relinquish his hold on Dorian after that, and then another frenzied minute or two of kissing after that before they remembered that they should clean up as best as they could and find their pants again.
Only when they had recovered did Cullen take Dorian's hand and squeeze it tightly between his. I missed you.
And I you, Dorian replied immediately. If only--
Whatever he might have said, however, would remain unknown as the sound of someone clearing his throat interrupted them. Cullen turned in surprise as Bull eased his way from the foliage around them, wondering how a man that large could remain unnoticed for so long. Suddenly his eyes widened. How long were you--
Long enough to get even longer, Bull said with a wide grin.
Eyes dropping to a much lower level to verify Bull's claim, Cullen felt the flush in his cheeks burn, quick and heated, even as Dorian asked in an anxious tone, Is he safe?
Bull nodded, his expression turning serious. Safe and snug as a nug in a rug. Don't worry, Varric won't let your mother within ten leagues of him. Before Cullen could do more than raise his eyebrows at the connection, Bull gestured to the bush from which he'd emerged. We've got other problems, though. Big problems, and I don't mean my state right now. He looked directly at Cullen. Besides, you really need to see what's going on.
Cullen blinked in surprise, but by this point he knew he could trust Bull implicitly--even if he really wanted to ask the man why he hadn't told Cullen about Dorian being at the Winter Palace. Lead on.
Without another word, Bull turned around and led them on a circuitous route through bushes, empty byways in the garden, and even a hidden passage through the walls until they stood on top of a wall around a small courtyard tucked to one side of the Winter Palace. Bull pressed his finger to his lips and pointed to their left, where two guards stood in apparent boredom in their duty to prevent anyone from entering the enclosed space. Even as Cullen took in their positions, Bull's arm snapped forward, and something landed between the guards, followed shortly by a harsh buzzing noise and startled cries of terror.
Bees! Run!
With a grin, Bull jumped down, then turned and motioned them to follow. Not much time, he said in an urgent voice.
As Cullen's feet hit the ground, however, his eyes were drawn to what lay within the courtyard: a large mirror that-was-not, its surface swirling with an energy he didn't recognize. There was no time for questions, however, as Bull grabbed both men's hands and hauled them through the mirror...
...and into an impossible realm.
#cullrian#cullen x dorian#angst#dragon age inquisition#dai#cullen rutherford#dorian pavus#fic: phases#fix-it gone wrong#my writing
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Echoes of You (Spike Spiegel)
A/N: The formatting on this is h e l l. But when nostalgia slaps you and says “Fall in love with Spike Spiegel again.” You do as it’s says. Thus this
Roman Holiday had changed who she was so many times she didn’t remember who she was when she started. She’d been a drug lord, a spy, an informant, a bounty, a runaway. But these days, with blue and purple hair and a coat large enough to hide a pistol, she settled on being a ghost among the streets, listening and picking up information as she went. She found herself on Mars, mourning friends and paying dues. She was going to have to disappear again soon. But first, she needed food, scissors, and some hair dye; though she was uncertain what color. She tried walking into a convenience store when she ran into someone.
“Sorry about that.” The guy said. From that one comment Roman almost got whiplash. That voice shouldn’t be talking to her. That voice should’ve been dead. If not from the first time, then definitely the second time. She looked up at him and sure enough it was him. Spike Spiegel in all his blue suited, disheveled glory. And he looked just as shocked to see her. “Ro-?” He didn’t get to finish her name because she took off, sprinting in the opposite direction as fast as she could. He of course went after her, he always would, and she scaled a building to get to the roof. She pulled her pistol and waited for him to catch up.
“Who are you?” She asked.
“Ro don’t do this.”
“Tell me! Stop playing cruel tricks and just tell me!” She yelled. It couldn’t be him, it shouldn’t be him.
“Roman, it’s really me.”
“Bullshit, you died.”
“I didn’t,”
“Then you died again.”
“I’ve had worse.” He said with his trademark lazy smile. Roman almost let up at that. He still knew her weak points.
“Gimme the word.” She said, lowering her gun but not putting it away. He furrowed his brows and then figured it out.
“Lily.” He said. Roman lowered her pistol entirely and put it away. Her flower of choice. Julia had roses, she had lilies. Her whole form softened, though she was far from the Roman he used to know. Spike took a step forward to see if she’d let him and sure enough, she didn’t move. “It’s good to see you Roman. Glad to know you’re still picking up information.” He said. Roman shrugged and sat down, still keeping her distance.
“Nothing better to do on this dirt rock. You know you threw the whole operation into chaos, right? There’s a power vacuum with at least seven people trying to fill it.” She said. Spike sat across from her, a little closer than she would’ve liked, but she allowed it. She chalked it up to some primal part of her brain still wanting to keep him as close as she could. He pulled a cigarette from his pocket and stuck it in his mouth.
“What’s next for you then? Figure you’re not gonna stick around for that mess to sort itself out.” He said as he fished out a lighter and lit the cigarette. He took a drag and offered it to Roman. She took it and copied the movement. She never smoked unless she was with Spike. Again, she chalked it up to that primal part of her brain that was still 13 years old and hoped that she still stood a chance against a far prettier half-sister.
“I cut my hair, redye it and catch a flight out of here. I’m thinking Ganymede. Or the asteroids. Hell, I could go be a small fry in Tijuana.” She said.
“And what color will it be this time?” He asked. Roman’s mood was usually determined by her hair. She changed it with regimes, mood, the music she was listening to that month, and sometimes when she felt she had no control of anything. He watched as she thought over her answer.
“Red. Probably. Or pink. Julia always thought I’d look good with pink.” She said muttering the last part.
“You would.” He said. Roman tried to not flush to the color in question, but she never did take compliments well. “I remember she was constantly trying to push you out of the shadows.”
“I like the shadows. No one judges me there. I’m useful there.” Roman argued. Spike chuckled and took a drag from his cigarette. The motion was repeated when he passed it to her to take a drag.
“Maybe, but you have no reason to stay there. Unless you wanna start working for the police.” He said.
“I could be a bounty hunter.” She said with a shrug.
“Oh no, I don’t think I could have you competing for my dinner money too.” He said with his trademark smile. Roman laughed at his comment, a real laugh. Something she hadn’t done in a while. As she laughed, Spike watched her. Her face was lit up by the beginnings of sunset and neon. Her and Julia had no personality similarities, but sometimes they did have physical ones.
“I haven’t done that in forever.” She said when she finally calmed down. Spike smiled at her. She seemed lighter now, more at ease. It was like the laughter fit had locked her into a time machine and she had shed so many years of cynicism with ease. “What about you? What becomes of the great Spike Spiegel? Now newly undeceased again.” She asked. Spike thought it over. He wasn’t certain. He didn’t know if he could go back to the Bebop. But he didn’t know any other way of life. Maybe just him and Jet could strike out again. Maybe he needed to go forward. Maybe he needed to disappear.
“No idea. Maybe dye my hair and change planets.” He said. Roman rolled her eyes.
“Hey, don’t steal my one thing.” She said. Spike chuckled and actually gave her a genuine smile. They were silent for a minute, casually passing the cigarette between themselves. For a moment they felt like teenagers again, sharing cigarettes and sharing a moment of uncertainty. At least that’s how Roman always felt in moments like these. Until finally she broke the tension.
“Annie told me you came to see her.” She said as she looked down.
“Yeah. Thought I might finally kill him.”
“Ignored my bounty then.”
“Always did. Whenever it came up, no matter what the price, no matter what name you were under. I wouldn’t do that to you Roman.” He said. It felt like a whisper on the wind. Like if he said it any louder, he’d lose her like he lost Julia. Roman leaned into this, allowing one of her knees to knock into his. She needed this. She needed him. Outside of just that primal part that told her she was once 13 and crushing on the one person in the whole galaxy she couldn’t have.
“I look at you and I think… god what have we done with our lives? And what did it get us?” She said with what Spike could only describe as the truest form of sadness he’s ever seen from her. Roman Holiday kept all her cards close to her chest until one day, she’d die. But now? He felt like he was peering through a brick in her wall. “I loved my sister more than anything in this life. And I chose her happiness over mine, time and time again.” She scoffed and leaned back on her hands. “God I can’t believe I’m saying this.”
“What?” He asked. He wasn’t sure what was coming next, but curiosity killed him to know.
“A million years ago, she said to me “this one’s mine.” So, I stood by.” She said. “And I knew I shouldn’t do anything, I should just leave and pretend I never met you. But Julia,”
“She was too kind for that.” He said as his brain was slowly putting the pieces together. He had always wondered when they were kids, even before Roman became a shadow figure, why she always seemed to fall into that point, even when Julia brought her out, or when he tried to talk to her. But now he got it. She’d been hiding pain this whole time.
“I should go.” She said. She stood up and dusted herself off. Spike stood up as well and grabbed her wrist before she could go anywhere.
“Don’t disappear again.” He said. Roman looked down at her beat up shoes, trying to hide what had just come to pass.
“You can’t ask that of me.” She said.
“Ro, you’re all I’ve got left.”
“And who’s fault is that?” She snapped. Spike wanted to get offended. But he remembered an incident when they were younger, where he’d gotten too close and she’d snapped, and he retaliated. They didn’t speak for a month. Not until Julia forced them to, and not until after he’d brought her lilies. He sighed and plucked the nearly burnt out cigarette from his teeth and passed it to her. She took a drag and then stomped it out. She was still looking down at it when Spike brought her face to look up at him. Roman unintentionally leaned her cheek into his hand, blinking at him a couple of times.
“I won’t let this be the last time I see you Roman.” He said. Spike, at his core, was a deeply sentimental person. He couldn’t lose Roman. She reached up and brought his face to hers, giving him a small, soft and what Spike could only describe as a ghost of a kiss. Like she was afraid of what fully kissing him would mean. He kissed her cheek in turn, letting it sit there a little longer than either of them expected. When they separated, they put the distance back between them. Once again, afraid of what the closeness would do to them. She tossed him a comm unit she had pocketed off some guy and he caught it with ease.
“Call that ship of yours.”
“Wouldn’t that be going backward?” He asked.
“One step backward to go miles forward? I think it’s worth it. Call them Spiegel.” She said. Spike nodded.
“Remember, pink.” He said. Roman gave him a small, soft smile and nodded.
“See you Space Cowboy.” She said as she ran off the edge of the roof, scaling down the building to go buy some scissors, some food, and some pink hair dye.
#spike spiegel#cowboy bebop#spike spiegel imagines#if that’s even a thing#cowboy bebop imagines#in which em writes
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
love thy neighbor (1)
characters: jungkook x reader, jimin
genre: smut, fluff, angst(?)
warnings: language, roughness, smut, oral, mxm references,
Jeon Jungkook was a pain in your ass but, you would never wish the crushing pain of heartbreak on anyone.
a/n: basically,, u live in an apartment. jungkook lives above u and is loud and annoying. then things happen. i’ve been working on this one for a whileee and i’m actually proud of it so i hope u guys like it :)) there are TWO parts idk when two is being posted but im working!! leave me feedback plz
Your right eye seemed to be twitching again—the second time within an hour. Your fingers harshly dug into the side of your phone, putting your volume as high as it could go. The soothing beats and vocals from your favorite artist—that seemed to always get you through your all nighters—did nothing to block out the loud footsteps and steady tempo from above you. You groaned, slamming your pencil down on top of your notebook, a few flashcards scattering from the impact.
As often as this happened you still couldn't get used to it. The college aged boy living above you seemed to always have enough energy to run a marathon—which is what you expected he did during his free time—always stomping around and blasting a mixture of music ranging in different genres.
The first time you were disturbed by his loud music and heavy feet was a week after you moved into the cozy apartment. You were trying to catch a nap after hours of unpacking but every time your eyes closed, a booming bass would force them open. After an internal debate with yourself, you marched upstairs, banging on the door like a madwoman. When the door swung open, you weren’t expecting a man so handsome to answer.
You could recall that day so well. He was wearing a white tee—something you noticed he wore quite often— blue jeans and had a pair of bright neon socks covering his feet. His eyes were large and a warm mocha brown, almost distracting you from the sweet bunny smile plastered on his face.
-
“Hi.” He greeted with a raised brow, head slowly tilting to the side.
“Um, hi.” You spoke up, seeming to lose all confidence you gained while storming over. “Listen, not to be that person but,” You paused as a melodic giggle came from behind him, his figure blocking you from seeing into the apartment.
“Jungkook, is it the pizza? Hurry up already I’m starving.” The man blocking the doorway—seeming to be Jungkook—chuckled to himself before turning around and disappointing the man inside, yelling that there was no pizza, just a girl he didn’t know.
“So, what is it?” He asked after a moment of silence passed, indicating he had much better things to do.
“I can’t sleep.” You deadpanned, crossing your arms over your chest with a huff.
Jungkook blinked, leaning on the doorway with complete confusion shown on his face. “I’m sorry, what does that have to do with me?”
“You and your—” You paused, planning out your rant. “Your friend, or girlfriend whoever you always have over! You’re always stomping around at ungodly hours of the night keeping me up. Not to mention that horrid rock music, who the hell listens to screamo?”
“Um, me?” He replied, seeming to only care about the least important part of your complaint.
“Just please,” You sighed, wanting to return to the comfort of your bed as quickly as possible. “Keep it down.”
“Will do.”
You stalked off to your room after that and got as good of a sleep as you could that night. Eventually, the rapid, heavy footsteps and loud music returned. You visited a few more times which just resulted in the two of you arguing and the tall brunette being pulled away by his much shorter boyfriend, Jimin, who promised they would try to contain themselves as Jungkook continued to spew profanities as the blonde turned the volume down. That night instead of loud music you were kept awake by lewd noises and banging you had to force yourself to believe was from something other than the bed.
You wrote complaints and even called the associate of your apartment building a few times but they never took the reports seriously. It was student housing after all and you weren’t paying much for the thin walled one bedroom apartment you lived in. They insisted they spoke to Jungkook about the issue but said they couldn’t do much considering you were the only one complaining without much evidence. A few messages after they stopped replying completely. You were sure Jungkook had somehow reached out to them and bribed them to keep quiet, the issue still remaining unresolved.
Eventually, you learned to work around the distraction that was Jeon Jungkook. Of course, this didn’t mean you were friendly with him when you saw him around. When he conveniently seemed to come down to wash his clothes around the time yours finished in the dryer, you ignored him completely, collecting your clothes and marching back to your room with your nose high in the air.
It seemed like tonight the music was even louder paired with heavier steps. You came to the conclusion after about a month of seeing Jungkook answer the door with sweat glistening on his forehead and soaking his white tees that he was a dancer. His boyfriend, Jimin was one as well and they seemed to take it pretty serious. Which is part of the reason you stopped caring so much about the loud noises, realizing he didn’t have anywhere else to practice his passion. But you needed your peace and quiet for tonight.
Your head seemed to be rattling along with the music and you leaped out of your seat, finally having enough. You tore your headphones out of your ear and marched to Jungkook’s door, knocking and kicking violently. Soon enough, the music came to a stop and Jungkook was swinging the door open with an irritated look opposed to his usual amused grin.
“Jeon Jungkook, I am trying to study for an exam. Turn the music off and take a fucking nap.”
“Listen, Y/N, I have an important audition coming up and I have to practice. Go to a library.”
“Wha—” You stuttered, stunned he was trying to rid you from your own home. “Excuse you, what makes you think you can tell me where to go! I live here. You can rent a fucking dance studio if you wanna play happy feet all night.”
“Ah, go home. I’m not stopping until I get this move right.” He moved to slam the door in your face but you slammed your hand on the door, a hot rage seeming to wash over you.
“Jungkook. Turn. It. Off.” You took a pause between each word, your glare growing colder by the second. Jungkook opened his mouth, ready to argue no doubt, but was cut off by a fluff of pink hair skipping towards the two of you.
“Kookie!” Jimin exclaimed with a smile, giving his boyfriend a sweet peck. Jungkook’s mood seemed to instantly brighten, greeting Jimin with a warm smile. You cleared your throat, still demanding attention from Jungkook about the current situation. “Oh hi, Y/N, what are you doing here?” Jimin innocently asked. The glare aimed towards Jungkook seemed to silently answer his question. Jimin turned to his boyfriend with a sigh. “Kook, I told you, you could practice at my place.”
“No,” Jungkook deadpanned. “This is my house. I pay rent and I have a right to practice my fucking choreography.”
“Not at 2 in the fucking morning you don’t. I have an exam that I have been stressing about for months, Jeon and you’re not about to fuck up my studying time.”
“It’s not my fault you’re cramming the night before, princess.”
“You know what—”
“Guys!” Jimin exclaimed, raising his hands up to try and create a distance before the two of you began a physical fight. “Jungkook, just come over my place.” Jungkook opened his mouth to continue to defend himself but Jimin’s harsh glare snapped his mouth shut. He instead turned to face you, his stare hard and angry.
“No, it's fine I need to rest anyways I’ll stop for tonight.” He pushed his front door open wider so he could shove Jimin inside. “But for the rest of the week, I’m keeping you up, especially if I don’t kill it at this audition.” He threatened before his lips twitched into a grin, patting your head and wishing a good night before the door slammed shut in your face.
Jeon Jungkook would be the death of you, you were sure of it.
-
Jungkook seemed to be quite serious fulfilling his threat. It was difficult to sleep the rest of the week. You were either awoken by his heavy footsteps or couldn't fall asleep at all due to the heavy movement from his bed that seemed to be placed right above yours. It wasn't rocket science for you to assume what exactly he was doing to make all that noise.
As the week came to an end, the loud noises seemed to simmer down as well. Three weeks into a new month and Jungkook had suddenly become the quietest resident in the building. His once heavy footsteps seemed to become lighter because you hadn’t heard them since. You assumed his speaker must have burst from the loud bass over time since you hadn’t heard the familiar pop and hip hop beats he played often. At first, you thought he had found a new apartment to move into or moved in with Jimin but his silver Honda remained parked in its famous spot. It wasn’t until you ran into him in the apartment's gym that you realized something was wrong.
“So, did you finally get a threatening letter from another neighbor?” You asked teasingly while filling up your water bottle. Jungkook was jogging on a treadmill, eyes focused straight ahead as sweat dripped down his face. Jungkook was a regular at the community’s gym and it didn’t surprise you one bit. The boy was all muscle. His veiny arms and hands caught your attention more times than you’d like to admit and his tempting abs that you witnessed first hand after bumping into him at the pool. Jungkook was far too good looking for his own good and it frustrated you.
After a brief silence, he seemed to notice your eyes on him and turned to face you, ripping earbuds you never noticed out of his ears.
“What?” He snapped, not missing a step as he continued his steady pace on the treadmill. You raised an eyebrow, taking in the annoyed look on his face before raising your hands up and shrugging.
“Nevermind,” you simply said before turning to make your leave. Jungkook popped his earbuds back in, not even mumbling a goodbye and you left, slightly offended.
Sure, you and Jungkook didn't have the best relationship but you had never seen him treat you so coldly. The witty banter the two of you always had was much better than the dead silence that seemed to be between you now.
-
“I’m busy!”
“Jeon Jungkook open this fucking door right now!”
“I’m. Busy.” Jungkook stated, enunciating each word through the door. He was watching you from the peephole, you could tell. You pictured his wicked grin as he watched you beat down his poor wooden door that somehow had no cracks or scratches from any of your previous poundings.
“Jungkook!” You exasperated, your right fist beginning to feel sore and raw. “Please,” you whispered.
“What do you want, Y/N? I haven't made a peep in months you must be hearing things.” Jungkook called out, still holding his ground on the other side of the door.
“No, Jungkook that's exactly why I’m here.” This seemed to peep his attention. You heard the lock twist before the door swung up, Jungkook appearing tired in an old white tee and gray sweatpants. He seemed confused and you couldn't blame him.
“What?”
“Just let me in, please.” You asked quietly, suddenly feeling shy to ask under his intense gaze. Jungkook said nothing as he stepped to the side, pushing his door open wider to allow you in. His eyes never left your figure even as he closed and locked the door behind him, pointing you into the living room to take a seat. You sat on a comfy love seat, sinking into the opposite side as Jungkook took a seat next to you. The two of you sat in silence for a while, Jungkook staring you down as you played with your fingers.
“Look-”
“Jungkook I—”
You both froze, staring one another down to see who would speak first.
You took the lead, sighing before continuing your train of thought. “Jungkook, I know I’m always yelling at your for the noise and stuff but it's actually kind of,” you paused trying to think of the right wording, “boring without all your footsteps.” Jungkook raised an eyebrow and you splurged out the next words to redeem yourself. “I’m not saying I want you to be extra loud just, I’m out of school so I wouldn't mind your dancing as much. And it’s really weird to not hear you making noise, I keep thinking you’re dead or something.”
“Oh,” a deep frown settled along his lips at the meet mention of the one thing he seemed to love doing. “You don't have to worry about that anymore.” He simply stated before riding out of his seat. “Is that all you wanted to talk about? I’m actually really busy-”
“What? What do you mean don't worry about you dancing anymore? You love dancing?” You exclaimed, looking at him incredulously. “And don't lie to me,” you snapped before he could mutter another excuse about being busy. “I can hear your video game going off in your room, it can wait.”
“y/n! Why do you suddenly care? The only time you spoke to me before was to yell at me for the noise.” He grunted, glaring harshly.
You shuffled in your seat, clearing your throat and spreading a sheepish smile on your lips. “I know but,” you turned to look up at him, reaching out and tugging his elbow to sit him back down. “Something's up with you. You've been quiet. I’ve been living here for 2 years now and you've never been this quiet. Plus you seem tense,” you sighed, licking your lips that suddenly felt dry. “I know we’re not super close but you can talk to me,”
Jungkook’s eyes widened at your sudden confession, eyes darting between your hand on his arm and the concerned look painted on your face. He hesitated before taking a seat next to you, sighing as he muttered out what had been bugging him for weeks. “Jimin dumped me.” He confessed, coughing loudly after to try and hide the crack in his voice.
You gasped, eyes widening as you took the information in. Jimin had been with Jungkook since you moved in, you assumed even before that. The two were inseparable and you recalled the few times you buzzed Jimin into the apartments yourself when Jungkook seemed to be too into his music or game to hear the buzzer. The last time you had seen them together had been about a month ago, two days after your encounter with Jungkook. The two seemed happy enough, running into them on the elevator as they were on their way to a date at the bowling alley.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t. I don’t need that look of pity from anyone.” He sternly stated, eyes set to the deep frown on your lips. He lifted you off of his couch, shoving you towards the door. “I’m fine we weren’t meant to be anyways. We’re polar opposites.”
“But, Jungkook-” You tried to mutter out before he shoved you outside.
“I’m. Fine.” He insisted before slamming the door in your face. You flinched, blinking at the now dark colored wood blocking you from asking any further questions. Any other person would’ve simply taken his bad mood as a reason to leave.
Not you.
“Don’t be a dick about it!” You yelled, kicking at his door a few times. When he showed no sign of coming outside to argue with you, you stomped back to your apartment. “That’s what I get for trying to be nice” you mumble to yourself as you slam your own door shut, making a B line to the freezer for your favorite ice cream.
-
A week after your encounter—if you could even call it that— with Jungkook you were wrapped up in your favorite yellow blanket, watching reruns of an old animated show you loved as a kid. You hadn’t seen him since and made no other attempts to. He was in a foul mood and you figured it was what was best. Your apartment was finally quiet and peaceful. You could read whenever you wanted, engage in your daily naps, and finally play your own music and actually hear it.
A loud heavy knocking on your door caused a groan to escape your lips, pausing the current scene and unwrapping yourself from your blanket before you stumbled to the front door. You assumed it was the philosophy major living in front of you, complaining once again about his mail ending up in your box. He had sworn you stole a $10 gift card from him that he won in an online contest. You did, but since then his mail hadn’t been in your box for months. He still made weekly visits to confirm.
“I told you already, I don’t have your mail, Namjoon—” You froze after swinging open your door to see Jungkook staring at you, his wide eyes set on your own. “Oh. It’s you.” You muttered unenthusiastically, a frown on your face as you moved to slam the door.
“Hey!” Jungkook yelled, sticking his foot in the way to prevent you from locking him out. You acted as though his foot wasn’t there and pushed to close the door on him but he was too strong, tiring you out. You grunted and backed away from the door, allowing him to let himself in. “You’re so fucking difficult.”
“Says you!” You exclaim, plopping down on your couch. Jungkook followed suit, taking a seat next to you, slightly too close for your comfort. You inched back, crossing your legs on the couch to form distance. “What do you want?” you bluntly asked, glaring at him.
Jungkook scoffed, shaking his head at your snippy attitude. “I wanted to apologize but nevermind if you’re gonna—”
“Wait!” You exclaimed, grabbing onto his arm before he could leave. “Apologize? To me? You wanna apologize to me?”
“Thank you for repeating what I just fucking said.” You ignored his profanities and raised an eyebrow at him, pushing him to continue. “Fuck,” he swore, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry for flipping out on you when you came to check on me. That was actually surprisingly nice of you—”
“Hey!”
“—and I appreciate it. I was just pissed about the stuff happening with Jimin, I’m sorry.” Jungkook's head hung low as he muttered out the rest of his apology, his cheeks seeming rosier than usual. You grinned and patted his back, his shy, humble state making you giddy.
“Apology accepted!” You playfully punched his shoulders, hoping to bring back his usual demeanor but he continued to stare at the floor. Something else was on his mind. “Do you wanna talk about it? I mean only if you want to you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to it’s—”
“Jimin broke up with me. The dance we were practicing that night. He nailed the audition, I was too young, they said they needed someone with more experience. Jimin accepted anyways and—” he paused, his tongue poking his cheek. “I got so pissed we started arguing and he just made it seem like I was holding him back. I told him to chose and, well, he did.” You frowned, watching has Jungkook released a cold chuckle. “I’m so stupid, I should’ve known better messing with someone with the same goal as me. He always treated me like I was a fucking kid.”
“Jungkook, you’re not a kid. You’re a really great dancer.”
“You’ve never even seen me dance.”
You paused, realizing he was right. You only heard, never saw. “Shit, I never even realized. But, I’ve heard around school you’re really good! Hoseok always told me how desperate he was to get you on his dance team and they’re all amazing.”
“Tch, Hobi would probably pick Jimin over me in a heartbeat too.”
“Hey, stop putting yourself down!” You flicked Jungkook’s forehead and he flinched, wincing. “That’s it, C'mon.” You demand, rising from your couch. Jungkook stood with you but looked at you with a questioning glance. “You’re gonna dance for me, right now so I can prove you wrong.”
“What? y/n you can’t just make me—”
“Sh,” you pressed your hand over Jungkook’s mouth, shoving him towards your front door. “No excuses, I want you to dance for me right now.” You lead him up to his apartment and followed him after he reluctantly unlocked the door. “Go pick a song and start dancing, now. It’s unfair I heard these footsteps for months and have no idea what the actual moves look like.” You pouted, Jungkook laughing at your expression before stepping to his stereo.
“Yes, ma’am.” You took a seat on the floor and watched as he stretched, a song with a familiar beat beginning to play. When Chris Brown began to sing you recognized the song immediately and began to hum along to the lyrics, waiting for Jungkook to start. He let out a sigh and glared at you one last time before becoming one with the music.
Here we are all alone in this room,
And girl I know where to start and what we gonna do,
Your humming ceased when you realized just how sensual his dancing was. His body glided along smoothly with the music, not missing a single step. You weren’t sure whether he created the choreography himself or found it online but it was breathtaking. He moved so fluidly as though he was boneless. When he grinded himself against the floor at one point you felt as though the wind was knocked out of you, your whole body on fire. It seemed you never noticed Jungkook in a way other than pure irritation and slight hatred before. The few times you caught him in the gym or pool the sexual attraction was brief, so brief it was easy for you to ignore.
This was different.
His muscles strained against his tight white t shirt, his chest becoming visible as sweat formed. Your mouth was watering and your thighs seemed to be trembling, rubbing together without your control. You were thankful Jungkook was far too focused on finishing his routine to even notice your flustered state. His crotch grabbing was driving you insane, you nearly darted out the room once the song ended.
Jungkook rose to his feet, panting as he grinned at you. His smile was so soft and innocent you wondered how this was the same neighbor you had daily arguments with. “Fuck, I think I fucked up at a part but how was it?”
You blinked, trying to recall the screw up he was referring to. Your mind was filled with thoughts of Jungkook grinding against you on his peach colored couch. “It was good.” You simply stated, crossing your legs.
“Just good? Fuck I told you I’m not that—”
“No Jungkook, it was amazing. I’ve never seen anyone dance like that before. I just wasn’t expecting something so,” you paused trying to think of a good way to phrase it. “Sexual.” You shrunk when Jungkook started laughing, hard. He hunched over, clutching his stomach as fits of giggles escaped him. “What the hell is so funny?” You snapped.
“Just the fact you think, that is sexual.” He wiped a fallen tear and inched closer to you. You wanted to slap yourself when your body squirmed, still affected by the sensual moves. Jungkook would’ve been blind to not notice, a shit eating grin covering his face. You gasped when his warm hand met your thigh the minute he stooped down to your level. “ I should show you my other dances sometime, it makes this one look like child’s play.” You choked on your spit, coughing and hacking as Jungkook continued to smile at you. He was devious tease, you expected nothing less but didn’t think he would actually make advances towards you. You moved to get up, about to excuse yourself from his home when his grip on your thigh tightened. “Did my dancing really turn you on?” You stumbled on a response, his hands moving higher. “I noticed you squeezing your thighs together but I could hardly believe it was from me. Was it?” He mumbled into your ear, lips ghosting over your cheek.
What the hell was going on? A few hours ago you weren’t even speaking to him now your underwear was completely soaked over him grinding on his wooden floor to a Chris Brown song.
“Jungkook—” Before you could stutter out anything, Jungkook’s fingers had made their way directly between your thighs, ghosting over your crotch.
Damn me for only lounging around in a big t-shirt and some frilly shorts.
“Yes?” Jungkook answered, his fingers rubbing slow circles over your short shorts. Your mind was clouded and your vision was getting hazy. Jeon Jungkook was fingering you. Well about to. He was whispering seductively in your ear and pushing you to your limit. Jeon fucking Jungkook of all people. “Do you want me to stop?” You quickly shook your head, surprising yourself and Jungkook from your eagerness. “That’s all I needed to hear.” It took you a moment to realize Jungkook had pulled away from you completely to hoist you over his shoulders, carrying you to what you assumed to be his infamous bedroom. You were thrown onto his soft baby blue sheets, gasping as you watched him rip off your shorts, taking your underwear with them soon after. “Jesus, you’re beautiful.” He dropped to his knees, pulling your frame to the edge of the bed. “Let’s see if you taste as good as you look.” He muttered before swiping his tongue up your folds. Your hips bucked, a moan leaving your lips from the sudden sensation.
“Jungkook!” You moaned as his finger ran circles around your entrance, his tongue lapping up your sweet juices. Your eyes were screwed shut, hands gripping his hair. You were being eaten out by Jeon fucking Jungkook. And it felt good. Amazing. Incredible. His tongue was doing things to you none of your ex-boyfriends had even attempted. You felt his fingers sneak up your shirt, pinching your nipples.
Jungkook suddenly halted, pulling back to look you in your eyes. “Fuck, you’re pierced?”
“Only the right one” you grinned as he tugged at your nipple ring. “I was too scared to sit through the left one.” Jungkook groaned, lifting your top up to take your right nipple into his mouth, his fingers still brushing against your entrance. “Jungkook please,” you whispered, hoping he wouldn’t make you beg.
“Please what?” You should’ve known better.
“You fucking know what.”
Jungkook tsk'd at your foul language, his tongue circling around your bare left nipple. “I actually don’t. What is it you want y/n? My tongue back on your sweet little pussy? You want me to finger fuck you?” You moaned at the dirty words he muttered out in between licks. “Or both?”
“Ah, fuck both please.”
“I forgot the options, repeat them to me again.” You had the urge to slap him in his head, the sly grin on his face pissing you off.
“Fuck you, Jeon.”
“Baby, I’m sorry my memory is shit. Just tell me what you want,” his fingers left your body completely, making you whine from the loss. “Unless you want me to stop?”
“Okay! I want you to eat me out Jungkook, please. I want your fingers in me and your tongue fucking me at the same time, please,” You begged, giving him a sincere pout. Jungkook growled, letting out a curse before moving back between your legs, his tongue swiping up your slit once before his fingers pushed into you, your body instantly reacting. “So Jeon Jungkook is into dirty talk? Not surprising.” Jungkook chuckled, his eyes meeting yours.
“I just wanted to see you beg. It seems like a once in a lifetime opportunity.” You grunted and shoved his face back between your legs, insisting for him to put his mouth to better use.
He followed your commands, continuing to alter between licking, sucking and even nibbling the side of your thigh while his fingers picked up the pace. You were so close to your orgasm you didn’t realize your thighs were closing in on him. You came with a loud moan, a yell of his name mixed with a few curse words.
“Fuck, Jungkook that was,” you paused, not knowing how to phrase the near out of body experience. You felt a tap on your thigh and looked down, finally realizing your thighs were crushing Jungkook’s big head. “Sorry!” you exclaimed, opening your legs wide as he struggled to catch his breath. Your cheeks were warm as Jungkook laughed, insisting it would’ve been the perfect way to go out.
In the brief silence that followed after you realized what happened. Jungkook had eaten you out. You allowed your obnoxious neighbor to down on you after watching him dance to a Chris Brown song. You were clearly losing your mind.
You stood from his bed, searching the floor for your underwear and frilly shorts. Jungkook simply watched as you slipped them both on, a blank expression on his face. “I have to go,” you mumbled, turning to leave the room. You half expected Jungkook to stay something—whether it be a sarcastic, sexual comment or something serious—but he remained silent, watching you exit the room. When you were sure you were out of his visual range you scrambled to his front door and out his apartment, running as though something was chasing you and a barrier on your front door could keep the demon out.
You slammed your door shut, heavy breaths filling the silent room. You sunk down onto your wooden floor, trying your hardest to calm yourself.
“What the fuck did I just do?”
#jungkook scenarios#jeon jungkook#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook drabble#bts smut#bts angst#bts fluff#bts scenarios#bts imagines#jikook#reader x jungkook
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
i still really think about the thing you wrote for me, i still have it as an image saved
because it was just nice to read something that
was directly about me and in a way that made me feel like i wasn’t just this hallucination that people kept perceiving or a spectre
it was that
it was the voicemails that i regret deleting, even tho all you did was call my name
the time you stayed up all night to just wake me up for work for whatever reason even though i pleaded you not to
and the time in the bathroom when i was absolutely devastated and you held me and kissed me multiple times and told me “its okay i love you” in your half awake state
i wish i could have told you how painful every year after we stopped talking was and how
it was harsh how that moment where you held me to comfort me
would be the only time that would happen, how i would have to spend years dealing with anger when i was in a low mood
and i tore up every letter you sent me all the fancy stationary and everything you did while i lived alone in nyc and it was the only thing really keeping me company
i was absolutely sure i would stay with her
but all of that is lost
but it didnt matter really because realistically there’s nothing i could have done with the fact you didnt love me physically
i was just something idealized in thought alone but you didn’t like who i was
i wish i could just talk to the version of your in 2011, it would’ve been nicer
i wish i could’ve told you how painful it was to return to the restaurant knowing i no longer had the text messages or voicemails waiting for me when i got home.
i miss the anonymous love confessions
it was just honestly so painful to be back at that restaurant
there was someone there who came from the same small country and reminded me who my father was, and those confrontations never go well
and the silence was maddening
it’s crazy i spent so much of my life in that restaurant, and one summer it was actually filled with joy, and something to look forward to
and when that was taken away that place became such an unbearable place to be
i can’t ever alter the fact that you didn’t want me
i just
deeply hope i could read someone else who writes something about me just casually and semi-anonymously
and i’m just doing everything i can
just retracting steps
trying to see if i can cast enough spells
maybe this summer or spring someone would be vaguely interested in me again
and i can just be silly in their stupid tinychats because i didnt know what else to do
i miss all the silly nervous sweat emoticons whenever i was down on myself saying “no one will love me”
i guess younger hearts
i can’t see how that’s possible now
i can’t see how anyone would want to be with one person, like i can only imagine people leaving in the slightest convenience
i literally cannot imagine that my friends in relationships ever argue anymore
i just feel like they just lucked out completely somehow
my sixth grade teacher told me
every bottle has a cap
i used to visit every summer after, until the security guards made it too difficult
and i just
wish i could tell him
WHAT IF IM THE DEFECT
YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF IM THE DEFECT
I DONT WANT TO BE THE DEFECT BUT I FEEL IT MAY BE TRUE AND IT MAKES ME UPSET
i dont want to be alone
friend told me to just believe in abundance
im doing every dance spell activity i could think of
i just want to feel the blossom in my heart again
the feeling i get when
the feeling is mutual
it was just
cute how disappointed you were when the confession was forced out of you and you told me
“we were supposed to be secretly in love with each other for years almost ignorant of it”
you’d probably be dismissive that i still remember or think about this stuff
don’t worry i don’t love you anymore, i just loved this moment with you is all
i just crave it
a mutual feeling
maybe we were better off
not knowing for years and then
eventually it would come. that would’ve been nice
even with her, she told me how excited she was when i followed her back on this silly website.
her best friend even told me how she was basically jumping with joy the entire day.
it’s weird to think anyone thinks like that for me. it
would be nice to know if anyone was overjoyed in knowing me.
and they wouldn’t want to let me go.
i miss interlocking hands
it’s depressing how the last time led to the end of a relationship
i just
regret not holding hands more.
i just wanted to hold hands for a longer time.
can i hold someone else’s calloused fingers that aren’t mine.
it would be nice. honestly.
i miss the first night in the hotel room.
i know you thought i was a bad kisser and maybe it;s just selfish and one-sided
but i miss you kissing me and biting my bottom lip, just gently.
another sensation i crave and how would i ever experience it again.
i am casting every fucking spell i can think of
repeating every pattern
internalizing the same feelings i think
i just.
will never understand it.
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
hyderabadi-kitchen
Untitled
dokidobe
yellow.dr.monv
supersunky64
◁🅂🄸🄼🄿🄻🅈 🅂🅄🄽🄺🅈▶
karadeespiggies
karaspiggies