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theyhavetakenovermylife · 4 months

Note

Hey

you can write an hsc in which a just-born baby cried when he saw his father (for everyone) (Bayverse)

Thanks you

Your Baby Cries When They First Meet Him (Fluff)

Bayverse!Turtles x reader

A/N: Of course I can! Any excuse to bring my Bayverse OCs into play💙❤️💜🧡

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Warning: Cute toddlers and crying babies💚

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Leonardo:

Leonardo sat on a stool in the kitchen, his fingers strumming against the table beside him, all while Casey and Vern came with friendly words, trying to calm the terrapin down. Leo’s blue eyes were filled with anxiety as he glanced nervously at the closed door, behind which you were in the process of giving birth to your third child.

Raph, Mikey, and Splinter were engaged in a lively game with Leo's other two sons, Romeo and Marcello, trying to distract them from the tension in the air. Leo's leg jumped restlessly as he watched them, his mind racing with thoughts of you and the new baby, hoping that the two of you were going to be okay.

After what felt like an eternity, the door swung open, and a weary-looking Donatello, and a just as tired April emerged. Leo practically leapt towards him, his expression desperate for news.

"How is she? How's the baby?", Leo asked in a rush, barely giving Donnie a chance to respond.

Donatello offered a reassuring yet tired smile. "Everything went smoothly, Leo. You have a healthy baby boy". Leo's shoulders sagged in relief, and he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "You can go in now. They're waiting for you".

Leo nodded his gratitude and entered the room alone, his sons still busy playing with their uncles and grandfather. Inside, you were propped up on the bed, a tired but content smile on your face. In your arms, a tiny bundle of blankets squirmed, a pair of small green hands just visible from where Leo stood.

Leo's eyes softened as he approached, taking in the sight of you and the newborn. "Hey," he whispered, his voice filled with awe.

You smiled at him, holding out the baby. "Meet Gerardo, our little ninja". Leo carefully cradled the newborn in his arms, his heart swelling with love at the sight.

But as soon as Gerardo's blue eyes met Leo's, the baby let out a tiny cry. Leo's eyes widened, and he exchanged a bewildered look with you. "Did I do something wrong?", he asked, panic evident in his voice.

You chuckled softly, shaking your head. "No, Leo. He's just getting to know you. It's a big, new world for him. Don’t you remember how much Marcello used to cry?"

Leo relaxed, relief flooding over him. He then turned his attention back to the small crying baby in his arm, doing what he had done for the past six years, after the birth of his first son. “Hey, little guy. Shhhh, don’t worry. It’s okay. Daddy’s here”.

“Mommy? Daddy?”, Romeo’s small voice sounded in the doorway. Him and Marcello stood with their big eyes looking at you. “Can we come and say hi?”

“Of course you can”, Leo said, before crouching down to their hight, with the now calm baby in his arms. “Boys, say hello to you baby brother”.

Raphael:

Raphael paced nervously outside the door of the Needle Room, where you had just given birth to your third child. The air was thick with tension as he awaited the news. Inside, you were recovering with a tired but radiant smile on your face, cradling the newest addition to your family - a baby boy named Ragnar. The room was filled with warmth and the soft murmur of voices as your two daughters, Joan and Mini, eagerly awaited their turn to meet their baby brother.

The door creaked open, and Raph was the first to burst in, his heart pounding with a mixture of joy and trepidation. Joan and Mini followed closely behind him, their eyes wide with curiosity.

Raph's gaze immediately found yours, and a wide grin spread across his face. He couldn't help but admire the strength and beauty he saw in you, a mother who had just brought a new life into the world.

"Hey, babe", he whispered, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your forehead.

As he pulled back, his eyes shifted to Ragnar, who lay peacefully in your arms. Joan and Mini, standing at the foot of the bed, were eager to meet their baby brother.

"Come on, you two", Raphael beckoned, a proud smile on his face. "Meet your little brother".

Joan, the elder sister, stepped forward first. Her eyes widened with amazement as she gazed at the tiny bundle in your arms. "Wow, mom, he's so small!"

Mini, the younger and more energetic one, couldn't contain her excitement. She bounced on her toes, trying to get a better look. "Can I hold him, mom? Can I?"

You chuckled, letting Joan crawl up on to the bed, letting her hold him with a mix of awe and responsibility. Mini eagerly crawled up on the bed too, hovered over her sister, eager to be a part of the excitement.

Raphael watched the scene unfold with a proud and loving heart. His gaze flickered from you to the children, and a feeling of completeness washed over him.

With a tender smile, he turned back to you, leaning in for another kiss. But just as his lips touched yours, Ragnar stirred, and then the inevitable happened - the newborn let out a tiny, discontented cry.

Raphael pulled away, his eyes widening in surprise. "Whoa, little guy, what's wrong?"

Joan and Mini exchanged worried glances as they held their baby brother, trying to comfort him.

You chuckled softly. "Looks like he's not a fan of PDA, Raph".

Raphael scratched the back of his head, a sheepish grin on his face. "Guess I'll have to work on my timing".

The room filled with laughter as Ragnar's cries were quickly replaced by the soothing reassurances of his family. Raphael, now holding Ragnar in his large, strong arms, softly humming him to sleep.

Donatello:

Normally Donatello would be in charge of anything medical, but when it came to the birth of his own children, he was too nervous. There April and Splinter were the ones in the Needle Room with you, helping you through the birth.

Donatello was not only concerned for you but also for his firstborn, 5 year old Galileo, who continuously looked towards the closed door, wondering when you’ll be able to come out again.

But thankfully it was a successful birth. You were cleaned up by April and brought extra pillows and blankets by Splinter.

As the door swung open, revealing the bed where you lay with Dorothy and Marie in your arms, Gali rushed forward, his eyes shining with excitement.

"They're beautiful, Mommy!", he exclaimed, his little face lit up with joy.

Donnie couldn't hide his own beaming smile as he gazed at the four most important people in his life. Splinter stood by, his presence a calming influence in the room, placing a comforting hand on Donnie’s shoulder.

"Can I sit with Mommy and one of the babies?", Gali asked, looking up at Splinter and Donnie with hopeful eyes.

Splinter nodded, a kind smile on his face. "Of course, my child. Go ahead".

Gali carefully climbed onto the bed with the help of his grandfather, settling on one side with you and one of the twins, Dorothy. Donnie moved to pick up the other baby, Marie, gently cradling her in his arms. But as soon as Marie left the comfort of your arms, she let out a soft, discontented cry. Donnie's eyes widened, a mix of surprise and concern washing over him.

"Is she okay?", he asked, his voice filled with worry. He didn’t recall Gali crying when he picked him up the first time.

April, who was nearby, reassured him, "It's normal, Donnie. Babies often cry when they're moved. She just needs a little time to adjust".

Donnie nodded, his nervousness slowly giving way to understanding. He cradled Marie close, whispering soothing words to her. Galil, on the other side of the bed, looked up at you with a mix of curiosity and concern.

"It's okay, little one", you reassured Marie, your voice gentle, your reaching up in order to hold her small one. "Daddy’s got you".

Donatello continued to comfort Marie, his gentle touch and soothing words eventually calming her cries. Gali watched in awe as his father effortlessly handled the situation.

Soon, the room was filled with the sounds of a contented family. Gali sat proudly beside you, one arm wrapped around his sister, and Donnie cradled Marie in his arms, a sense of peace and content settling over the room.

Michelangelo:

The lair echoed with a mix of excitement and nervous energy. Michelangelo, usually the most carefree and energetic of the turtles, was pacing nervously outside the Needle Room where you were giving birth to your first child.

Inside the room, April and Donatello was guiding you through the birthing process while the other turtles hovered nervously around their brother, offering support in various ways. Leo comforted his little brother, reminding him how to calm himself down. "Come on, Mikey, you got this. Breath. Just breathe”.

As the minutes passed, Mikey's nervousness grew to the point where he felt a bit queasy. He had never been good with medical stuff, and the thought of something happening to you and the child made him want to throw up. Leo and Raph tried their best to distract him, but the worry remained etched on Mikey's face.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, April announced, "It's time!" The turtles rushed into the room, Mikey following hesitantly, his heart pounding so hard in his chest, it almost made it hard for him to walk.

The room was filled with the soft cries of the newborn, and a wave of relief washed over Michelangelo as he heard those precious sounds.

You cradled Sunny in your arms with a radiant smile. The turtles gathered around, taking turns peeking at the newest member of their family. Mikey, however, hung back, a mix of excitement and nerves written all over his face. He still had a hard time calming down.

Once the initial chaos settled, you beckoned him over. "Come meet your daughter, Mikey".

His eyes widened with awe as he approached, his nervousness replaced by an overwhelming sense of joy. Gently, you transferred Sunny into his arms. His gaze never left her tiny face as he held her close. For a moment, everything felt perfect. Mikey stared down at Sunny, his heart swelling with love. But then, unexpectedly, Sunny let out a tiny cry.

Mikey's eyes widened in surprise, and a look of panic crossed his face. "Did I do something wrong? Is she okay?", he stammered, glancing between Sunny and you.

April chuckled softly, reassuring him. "It's okay, Mikey. Babies often cry when they're getting used to being outside the cozy womb. It's perfectly normal".

His expression shifted from worry to relief, and he tentatively bounced Sunny in his arms, offering a tentative smile. "Hey, little dudette, it's just your cool dad. No need to cry. We're gonna have so much fun together!"

As if responding to his words, Sunny's cries began to subside, and she nestled into the warmth of Mikey's embrace. A wave of contentment washed over the room as the turtles shared in the joy of welcoming a new member into their unconventional family.

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obsidiancreates · 2 years

Text

The Algae Is Always Greener On The Other Side (Part 1)

(Just finished the Rise series and movie, almost done with 2012 season 3, I NEEDED TO MAKE THIS! It's 4,500+ words long and it's taken me hours to write this, and I am so tired and have work tomorrow, so if there's typos I'm sorry but they can't be helped. Starting with 2012 Episode 1, next part will be 2012 Episode 2, then we'll do Rise Episode 1. Rise Boys and 2012 Boys, plus Splinters and Aprils, are all trapped watching their respective shows with each other)

"Ugh... what the..." Raph puts his hand to his head, slowly opening his eyes. "Oh, not this again, where're we now?"

"At least we're all in the same room this time," Donnie grunts, pushing himself up. He gasps quietly. "Or... the same... somewhere."

It's not really a room, per say. Just a... space. It's not a blank void, but it's not anything recognizable. It's almost incomprehensible, except for a few things.

There's a rug beneath them. It has the Hamato Clan symbol on it. There's a large TV in front of them. There's a big couch. And they're very much not alone.

Splinter rises to his feet, wincing and holding his own head. Leo gets up a second later, sees his Sensei struggling, and moves to support him. April groans from her spot on the rug, and Donnie rushes to help her stand.

None of them touch the... other, group.

The big one gets up first. "Okay... who poisoned us this time?"

"That was once."

"Once is too many times, Donnie!"

"Raph, shhhh, my head is full of bees."

April blinks. "Are those-"

"At least it's not the '87 ones again," Donnie mumbles. "But, but how did we all-"

"OHMIGOSH!" The other Mikey suddenly gets into Donnie's face, and boy does it hurt his eyes, because somehow this alternate is still 2D and it's even less comprehensible than their surroundings. If it gets any worse he might succumb to eldritch maddness. "Are you guys... us?!"

"Most likely." Donnie scoots away. "Let me guess. Mikey?"

"YES! I can't believe it! Why do you look so weird?"

"We look weird?" Raph growls and stalks closer to Other Mikey. "You're the ones who're cartoons!"

"Ahem." Big Raph picks Little Raph up by his shell. "Hey, let's not get off on the wrong foot here, okay? Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Raph."

"I'm Raph."

"Okay... uh... is that a problem for you?"

"Raph, don't-" Leo is cut off by Little Raph crossing his arms.

"Yes, it is."

"Okay, uh. I'll be... um..."

"RAPHIE!" Other Leo jumps up on Raphie's back. "Oh, we're so getting the other us to call you Raphie!"

"Fine. Then you're Leon."

"These are just nicknames we already have." Other Donnie dusts himself off. "I shall be... Othello Von Ryan!"

Raph snorts. "yeah, I'm not calling you that."

"He can be Donald." Leon smirks at him.

"Fine! Then Mikey is Angelo!"

"Works for me!"

"Our Splinter gets to stay Splinter," Leo demands.

"Okay." The human girl with them shrugs. "Ours is usually Splints, anyway. I, though, am not changing my name! I am... APRILLLL O'NEIL!" She strikes a pose with her bat.

"What if you go by your full name, and I just go by our first, then?"

"alright, I can get beh- wait. You're me? I got whitewashed? In the year of our lord 2022?"

"Um... for us it's 2012- no, wait, 20... 13? No..."

"It does not matter." Splinter looks around. "Why are we here?"

"Who cares? This TV is the screen of my dreams!" Splints leaps into the couch. "Hehehe, now where is my remote? I want to watch-"

The TV flickers to life, making everyone draw their weapons. Thumping hip-hop music begins to play as the screen shows shots of a dim New York city. It zooms in on a manhole cover, and transitions to sewer pipes.

"Hey! I did not pick this!"

"Wait... that looks like..." Donnie sits down as well. The screen shows a shot of a dojo from the outside, and then Raph's face takes up the screen.

"It's us!" Mikey hops onto the couch, and Angelo plops down right next to him. "Dudes, we're a TV show! Check us outtttt!"

"You guys look so serious." April O'Neil laughs a little as she sits. "Is that just life for you?"

"You have no idea," Leo grumbles.

The training session begins, and Leo is shown running at Mikey. Mikey defends, grinning and bragging as they spar. Angelo's eyes shine as he watches the way Mikey uses his nunchucks.

"Whoa... are you doing that without mystic powers?!"

"Um, yeah? WAIT! Do you have mystic powers?!"

"I sure do!"

"AWESOME!"

"Sheesh, but that Me is lame." Leon kicks his feet up. "The fighting is coo but where are the jokes? The snappy one-liners? The taunts?"

"Just wait," Raph says with a grin. "Trust me, we can't get him to shut up with those sometimes."

"Hey!"

Raphie frowns as Screen Leo hits Mikey in the gut hard enough for Mikey to go down. "Wait, are you guys training there?"

"Yeah. Why? Do you train differently?"

"We usually try not to knock each other out. ... Usually."

Raph eyes his counterpart. "You and I are very different people."

"Is it bad to ask about the voice?" Leon leans over to Leo. "Because you do not have that voice the TV has."

"I got throat damage."

"Riiiight. And... how do throats work in your world?"

"Nardo, hush!" Donald leans forward. "My counterpart is now onscre- what is that? Why-why is your staff made of wood? I have used one and it worked fine, but that was with mystic powers."

"Oooooh, spinny..." Angelo is transfixed as Screen Donnie spins his bo like there's no tomorrow before attacking.

"Trust me, I've tried other weapons." Donnie shrugs. "It's just, familiar and reliable. Plus I uh, add a blade to it sometime after this, since this is pretty clearly the day we were first allowed to go to the surface."

The TV pauses as all of the other more colorful turtles and non-turtles slowly turn to look at them.

"Your first day up there?" Leon's face scrunches. "And... how old are you in this?"

"Fifteen."

Splints leaps to his feet. "You were not allowed on the surface until you were fifteen?! What did you do until then?!"

"Uh, this." Leo gestures at the TV. "And watched shows, too, and read comics!"

"And that's... it?" Raphie looks sick. He looks at Splinter. "Why'd you do that?"

"You will see soon." Splinter sighs. "Perhaps our worlds are very different, if you think it was not needed to hide away."

"Oh, we hid," Splints says. "But I would never force my sons to experience so little in life!"

"You were pretty absent to stop us for a long time, to be fair," Donald chimes in.

"Wha- I was trying not to smother you!"

"We love you anyway, Pops," Angelo says while hugging his father. "But yeah, you didn't pay enough attention to stop us usually."

"By the way, this might be a bad time to mention it, but um, your Splinter sounds like our Shredder. You guys have one of those, right?"

Splinter's eyes go wide. "I- I share a voice with your Oruko Saki?"

"... Okay, so you do..."

"Leon." April moves her hand across her neck.

"What? I'm just saying he- ooooh he's having a panic attack. ... My bad."

Raph growls at Leon. "Well you know what? Your Splinter sounds like an assassin who tries to kill us all the time!"

"What?" Splints looks at the screen again. "But how-"

"Yeah, well, your me sounds like if we gave one of our Foot Enemies a lozenge!" Donald chimes in, backing up his Leon.

"Well you sound like you only eat plain noodles all the time!" Mikey shouts, jumping to his feet.

"You sound like my robot son Shelldon if he was a jerk!"

"HEY, NOBODY TALKS TO MIKEY LIKE THAT BUT ME-"

"ENOUGH!" Splinter rises to his feet, and all of the more colorful group flinch away as memories hit them. He sighs, rubbing his eyes. "Enough. Perhaps, this is why we are here. To help heal some wounds those we share similarities with across worlds have caused. But we will never now if we do not allow this to finish running it's course."

"Fine." Splinters crosses his arms and gets back on the couch. "But I will think you deprived your sons of important experiences."

"I sometimes do as well. But you will see why I had no choice."

The show resumes, and they watch Donnie and Raph spar. Donald leans over and whispers to Donnie, "Is that staff spinning a stim?"

"How did you-"

"You're also on the spectrum?"

"I haven't even told my brothers-"

"Shhhhh. It's okay. I may find you strange and offputting, but we have solidarity in this." he moves back to his seat, slowly, with a slide whistle sound, because he's a 2D cartoon.

"Onegai Shimasu."

"Wait wait wait, you speak Japanese?!" Leon looks over at Leo in amazement. "Did your Splinter actually teach you Japanese?!"

"Yours didn't?"

"We live in the New York sewers! Understanding Japanese was always lower on the list than 'Reading signs that say you will die' and 'This is how you scream for help'!"

The training goes on, and Angelo slowly comes to frown. "Heyyy... why are Mikey and Donnie left out of the fighting?"

"We lost. That's how it goes, bros." Mikey shrugs.

"Well then, how do you learn to work as a team?"

The more muted colored turtles all share looks, and Leo coughs. "We're... constantly improving our teamwork."

"We still suck at it," Raph says bluntly.

Raphie frowns harder as he watches his other self take pride in hurting Leo and then brag about being better. "So... I'm guessing you're not the oldest of your family."

"Nope."

"And you're definitely not the one who protects them all the time."

"Actually, he kinda does. And also beats us up. He does both. ... Bilingual!"

Donnie smacks his face with a groans. "Not what that means, Mikey."

Training ends with Splinter giggling mischievously, and Splints finds himself giggling in a not dissimilar fashion.

And then...

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Turtles! Heros in a half shell, turtle power! Here we go it's the lean green ninja team-

"Oh, whoa, dudes! This rocks!" Mikey jumps up and starts dancing, and the entire colorful clan follows.

Leonardo's! The leader in blue, does anything it take to get his ninjas through!

"Wait, you're already the leader?" Leon gapes. "No wonder you're so not-quippy, you're like Raph but more willing to fight us!"

Donatello is a fellow, has a way with machines!

"That's all I get?!" Donnie stands up and points at the screen accusingly. "I do chemistry, bio-chemistry, hacking, half of our planning-"

"I think the lyric is fine." Donald crosses his arms.

Raphael's got the most attitude on the team!

All eyes turn now to Raphie, who seems to be trying to make himself smaller and sweating under all the attention.

"Raph has the most attitude?" Angelo says slowly in disbelief.

"Wow... we drew the best Raph card, didn't we?" Leon pats his older brother on the shoulder. "Thank you for not being giant and temperamental, bossman."

"Can you imagine if our Raph was huge like that?" Mikey whispers to April.

"No... good thing he's small."

"I can hear you, and being short has it's advantages you know!"

Michelangelo! He's one of a kind, and you know just where to find him when it's party time!

"Heck yeah you do, dudes!" Mikey does a spin move on his shell. "Whoo! Party guy, right here!"

"Wow!" Angelo jumps in, trying to copy the moves as exactly as he can.

"STOP!" Donald suddenly goes completely still staring at the screen in... horror. "Are those..."

Leo on the screen cuts two robots in half... and pink brain creatures pop out.

"The Kraang." Leo shrugs. "They were tough at first, but-"

"They're... tiny." Leon is staring as well, stiff as a board and gripping his katanas so tight his green knuckles turn white. "They... they're tiny? And you can cut their suits in half?"

"Yes. ... Why? What are yours-"

"Not tiny." Raph reaches up and covers his eye.

The energy in the room shifts to something... stifling. April shudders, feeling the cold terror and rage and jealousy swirl through her own spirit.

"I don't know if we can watch this," Splints mutters. "My sons, are you..."

"They're easy to beat?" Leon breaths out.

"... For the most part," Leo says softly. "We struggle here at first."

"Do any of you get... do they..."

"... One grabs my face after the first fight," Mikey says, sitting down slowly. April holds her head as the terror increases. "But I get it off really fast!"

"They're basically jokes," Raph says, uncrossing hsi arms and leaning forward. "They talk stupid, and once they're out of those suits they can't do anything. If yours could even speak outside of those suits, they could do more than ours can."

"... Okay." Leon sits back down. "Okay. We can... we can do this guys, right? It's... it's just like making fun of the villains when we're fighting them. Make them little, and they can't hurt us as bad."

"... Right." Angelo sits back down, clinging to Raphie's arm. The rest of the family does the same, Raphie and Leo becoming squished into the center of the huddle.

The other group doesn't ask. It feels... private. The show resumes.

It shows a pile of algae and worms, and Mikey gags. "I can't believe we used to eat that every day."

"You ate that every day?!" Leon, still pale but seemingly comforted by his protective wall of family, gags as well.

"For fifteen long, long years," Donnie says sadly, wincing as he recalls the feeling of worms in his mouth.

"What's the frosting made out of?" "You don't wanna know."

"Mikey?" Angelo looks at him with wide, sad eyes. "Do you not know how to cook real food?"

"Uh, I can blend pizza into a milkshake."

"If we can see each other again when we're out of this weird place, I'm teaching you how to cook. For real."

"Awesome!"

"HAPPY MUTATION DAY!"

"Ooooh, everyone hush now," Donald says, waving a hand. "Origin story time, I love these."

Splints watches, arms crossed, growling. "You just stumbled into it?! I was kidnapped by my girlfriend, and then kidnapped again by my new co-parent and former enemy, and then had to rescue my sons from being turned into weapons against humanity!"

Now the muted colors clan turns to stare.

"Don't worry, that guy is good now!" Angelo says brightly. "He's a lunchperson!"

"You let the genocide-hungry madman work around human children?!" Raph shouts.

"He reformed!" Angelo protests. "He's our other dad now!"

"You guys are messed up!" Raph crosses his arms again and turns to scowl at the TV.

"Go no further! This place is a place where you are not allowed to be in this place! We have been seen in this place by you, so this is not a place that will be left by you!"

The colorful clan's jaws drop.

"Is that... how your Krang talk?" Leon breathes.

"All. The. Time!" Mikey groans in irritation. "It's the worst!"

"I think we'll be okay watching this after all," April O'Neil says with a grin. "Because these guys are nothin'!"

"Wait, you kept the canister?!" Splints laughs. "That- you kept it! That is such a bad memento!"

They watch Splinter speak in riddles about if the turtles are allowed to go to the surface or not. Eventually they break out the Sad Eyes, and he allows them to go up.

"Ha, not as tough as you pretend, huh Little Raph?" April O'Neil smirks.

"If it gets the job done it gets done, I'm not ashamed of that."

"Cuteness powers," Angelo whispers, fistbumping Mikey.

"Whoaaa, that cartoon looks like a Jupiter Jim ripoff!" Leon's eyes sparkle. "I gotta watch all of it, right now!"

"Do you mean that? Because I have all of the VHS tapes!"

"Ugh, VHS tapes? Why do you guys live in the ancient times?"

"More importantly, why are you all in a void doing random fighting moves and poses?" Donald points at the screen.

Donnie shrugs. "How should we know? To us we were just practicing a little extra before going up. It's a TV show, it's not going to represent everything perfectly exact."

They watch Splinter give cliché parental advice, and Splint's expression softens. No matter the world, no matter how absent he can sometimes be, he always wants his boys to be safe.

They watch the turtles climb out of the sewers for the first time, and Leon frowns. "Uh... guys? Why is your New York so... empty?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Um, because it's the city that never sleeps?"

"... What?"

"Your New York is terrible," April O'Neil declares.

They watch Donnie freak out over some computers, and Mikey freak out over some neon lights. Then they see a pizza boy ride up, and Raph scare him.

"The one single living human in your entire New York, and you scared him!" Leon shakes his head. "Who knows when you'll see anyone again in that empty wasteland?!"

"Soon, trust us," Donnie says.

And then they watch the very first time the turtles try pizza.

"You poor, poor souls," Raphie sniffles, genuinely tearing up at how they're frightened of the delicious food at first. "How'd you even survive?!" His family all nod with him, also all tearing up.

"Dudes, I ask myself that same question all the time," Mikey says solemnly."

But the tears disappear as soon as the next shot comes, of them running with their arms sticking straight out behind them. Leon, Donald, Mikey, Raphie, and April all react by choking like they were just gut-punched.

"Are you... Naruto running?" Donald whispers. Is it horror? Awe? Confusion? None can tell.

"What's... Naruto?" Donnie and the others all look lost.

"Ohmigosh," Angelo whispers. "They don't even know."

"This is so funny and so, so sad," Leon says.

"The music is cool, at least," Raphie says, trying so hard not to laugh.

"Guys! Look at that!"

It pans down to a girl and her father-

"AHH!" Donnie hurries to cover April's eyes and ears. "No, uh, haha! This didn't happen, stupid TV show, getting things wrong-"

The colorful clan stares in horror as it zooms in on April, romantic music playing, and then back to Donnie surrounded by hearts and drooling...

"I'm going to be sick," Donald gags. "I- hurk-" He retches over the back of the couch, and April O'Neil stares at Donnie in horror.

"IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO!" Donnie pops his entire body into his shell, steam of embarrassment and mortification rising out. From within comes his echoey protest of "I DON'T EVEN FEEL THAT WAY ANYMORE!"

They watch April and her father clearly about to be kidnapped, and Donnie say to save her while Leo says they were told not to.

"What kind of heartless not-hero are you?!" Raphie exclaims.

"It was our first time ever on the surface! Excuse me for being a little afraid to get into a fight!"

"I thought you wanted to be a hero! Since when do heroes ask for permission?"

"Yeah, you said it, Tiny Me!" Raphie holds out his fist for a bump. With a moment of hesitation, Raph obliges. His fist is tiny as it doinks against Raphie's larger, spikier one, but they both smile afterwards.

Screen Donnie jumps right down to help, and Donald scoffs. "First into battle and you don't even have tech? I don't know if that foolish or brave, no I'm lying it's foolish."

"It was, but I just knew I couldn't let April be kidnapped."

The guys throw her into the back of a van, and Raph is the first to engage with the creepy clearly-not-human men. They watch the absolute disaster of a fight as everyone gets in each other's way. Even with impressive individual skills, they just aren't a team.

"Don't feel too bad," Raphie says as all of the turtles looks away from the screen in shame. "Our first fight was also a disaster."

"Majorly so," Leon agrees. "We got our butts whooped."

They watch Donnie knock a bad guy away, causing April to almost fall. He grabs her and smiles, and she screams! It makes Donnie scream back, dropping her and flinching away!

"Sorry about that, by the way," April says, patting Donnie's hand. "It was just a lot to process in the moment."

"No, no, it's... fine." Donnie pulls his hand away, looks at his three fingers with... some mix of repulsion and a form of grief. "If I were human, I'd scream too."

The colorful clan all frown and narrow their eyes. Angelo stands up. "Dr. Feelings in session."

"What does that-"

Angelo grabs Donnie by the shoulders. "You know you aren't lesser than a human, don't you? We're unique and different, but that doesn't make us anything bad or to be ashamed of. You're an awesome ninja who's first instinct was to save the girl in danger, you're a good person and that's what counts!"

Donnie stares, mouth agape, unable to respond. April giggles, and puts her arm around him.

"He's right, Donnie. Human or not, you're my best friend, and I'm glad to know you."

"B-but-"

"Shush shush shush, sit on it, think about it, let it heal you." Angelo sits back down, earning a fistbump from Donald and Leon.

The fight continues to go badly for them, and April is taken away. Mikey is left alone, with one of the creepy men.

"This is the part, dudes! Once we get into the alley the Kraang pops out! Get ready!"

With narrowed eyes and tense body language, the colorful clan watch. Screen Mikey lashes out with his weapon, and cuts half the face off of the man.

"HOLY HOT SOUP!!!" The entire colorful clan shoot up out of their seats, striken with shock!!!

"YOU CUT A MAN'S FACE OFF!" Angelo screams!

"It was a robot, look!"

"BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!!"

"Neither did we!" Raph looks at Mikey. "Dude, what the heck happened?!"

"I panicked, alright?! Just- whatever, I never did it again!"

Finally, it happens. The Kraang pops out and latches onto Mikey's face, as humorous music plays.

Raphie can't watch, nor can his brothers, but April O'Neil and Splints can. They both shudder in disgust.

Mikey runs out ad tries to tell his brothers what happened, but in his panic he doesn't say the right words immediately, and after that they spend the whole time assuming he's delusional or stupid or just lying.

"You guys are so mean!" Raphie pulls Mikey over to the colorful huddle. "Why would you assume the worst?! And why would the leader slap someone who's panicking?!"

"Look, I admit with hindsight we... didn't react very well here. But we were just tired and annoyed after losing the fight!"

"Not an excuse!" Raphie squeezes Mikey in a hug, making Mikey's eyes big out and knocking the wind out of him. "He's your brother!"

"Don't any of you lie or make things up sometimes and ruin your trust?" Raph growls.

All eyes turn to Donald and Leon.

"Whaaaaat?" Leon chuckles, sweating. "I don't-"

"We're both the evil twin, but I am eviler," Donald says.

Back in the sewer, they watch Splinter scold the team, and the team begin to fight with each other.

"You guys really do suck as a team," Raphie mutters.

"We've gotten better since then," Mikey wheezes.

"Oh, well that's good to- oh my gosh! Have I been crushing you this whole time?!"

"It was kinda nice though."

Screen Splinter takes responsibility for having failed to train them as a team, and says it'll be another year before they try again. Donnie protests, insisting they help the family.

"So you're the heroics-obsessed one in your universe?" Donald looks incredulously at his counterpart.

"No! ... Not-not always! ... M-maybe, sometimes, look most of the time if I don't do something, no-one else will!"

"I feel that," Raphie says, now holding his hand out for a bump from Donnie. Donnie gives him one, while glaring and fuming at Donald.

They watch Splinter consider the words, and look at a photo of himself, a woman, and a baby. Splints gasps.

"You had a family before the boys?"

"... I did." Splinter looks away.

"Why are they with you down there?" Leon asks. Angelo shakes his head.

"Fire sounds," Angelo mouths. Leon blinks, and then looks at Splinter with sympathy.

Splinter appoints Leo the leader, and Raph gets angry.

"It turned out to be the right choice," Raph grumps.

They explain the plan to Mikey, apparently something they did many times before then. While it irritates the others, Mikey remains peppy. It then turns into a slow montage of Donnie and Mikey trying to pass the time. They play paper football, Mikey naps while Donnie tries to jumprope and does poorly at it, and they play I Spy.

"Okay, I'm thinking of something green. Ga-reen, ga-reen!" "...Is it Raphael again?"

"Whoa, what was with the first name use?" Leon calls out.

"And why do you sound so tired?" April O'Neil looks worried. "How many times did Mikey pick Raph?"

"I don't even know. The hours blurred together into sludge," Donnie groans.

"What else would Mikey pick, in that empty nothingness they pretend is New York city? What a complete lack of town," Donald says.

Raph complains about how the villains will never show up, and then they immediately show up. Leo quotes Space Heroes, but everyone else is already down there. He follows, and the turtles surround a man.

"Did Donnie just punch a fist into his open hand?" Leon says, drawing out the words. "Like a schoolyard bully?"

"I was trying to be intimidating!"

"Aim a gun at him."

"I don't have guns!"

"Do you have robots with guns?"

"No! Well, Metalhead had a flamethrower, but... I-I haven't... rebuilt him. ... Yet."

All of the screen turtles try to intimidate the man, and he responds by... firing a gun at them.

"See? I told you."

"Shut it, Donald."

The chase goes about as well as the first right, with Raph being smashed into a building and the man almost getting away if not for Leo throwing a well-aimed (or just very lucky) shuriken. The van crashes, and they surround it. When they open the door...

A canister rolls out.

The glowing blue-and-green liquid makes an odd sound as it rolls to Mikey's feet. He stares at it for a second, and then- "Mom?!"

A sting plays, and the episode ends with a grayscale still.

"Oh, what?!" Donald grabs his head in frustration. "I hate cliffhangers!"

"But... are we supposed to be surprised that the weird robot Krang guys are the same ones? They kind of laid that out for us at the start," Leon says.

Angelo shakes his head. "I think it's supposed to be building the mystery, getting us invested!"

"Well, I certainly am." Splints leans back in his seat. "If only we had snacks!"

Suddenly, several fresh pizzas appear.

"Well, an eating break won't hurt anyone," Raphie says, rubbing his hands together."

"Let me check for poisons," both Donnie and Donald say at the same time.

"I hate that that's what we have most in common so far," Angelo sighs.

#tmnt 2k12 #tmnt 2018 #tmnt 2012 #rottmnt #tmnt crossover #tmnt fic #tmnt fanfiction #fanfic #my attempts at fanfic

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aprillikesthings · 4 months

Text

moar rewatch

s1! ep2 and 3!

Bow's voice actor's work here is so good lolol

Nice work establishing that only Adora can do the transformation thing with the magic sword

Man someone on youtube has to have done one of those therapist deep-dives on their relationship. So much of their interactions are just painfully accurate for the way a kid reacts to an abusive parent--that combination of fear and resentment and still wishing you could make them happy, just once.

My family didn't have a golden child vs. scapegoat thing going on, though. I wonder if this is based on the writers' own experiences or if one of them read about that dynamic or had a therapist consulted or what

oof too real 😬

anyway Free Palestine

even cartoons know that murdering civilians and/or destroying their homes makes you the bad guy

There's some parallels here with kids who grew up in conservative/evangelical families realizing their family's politics and faith weren't based around Jesus at all but were based around bigotry and small-minded cruelty and knowing they have to leave, and knowing ND Stevenson's background I assume it's intentional

"You've known these people for, what, a couple of hours? and you're going to throw everything away for them?"

:( and to Catra, this just feels like a betrayal. There's a meta post somewhere way back in my tags that was like, from Catra's POV, Adora knew how shitty Shadow Weaver treated Catra and that wasn't enough to rebel and leave, but knowing Glimmer and Bow for a handful of hours was, and how much that had to hurt like hell, considering Catra put up with Shadow Weaver's abuse for so long in part to protect Adora and in part because it meant her and Adora were still together

Ugh this is why I love this show, Catra's actions are sometimes just awful but they make sense given what we know about her life, and right now she's just panicking and trying to hide it

And meanwhile Bow and Glimmer are like "actually we've decided we trust you :) can you be fancy sword lady again thanks!"

Like of course Adora is going to pick Bow and Glimmer and not Catra in that moment!!

"Is that....Adora?" "It's She-ra!"

Yeah that's not gonna be the source of weird "who the fuck even AM I" feelings later ha ha ha amiright

Also along with all the other weirdness of suddenly being bigger/different outfit etc, like, She-Ra is not only WAY stronger, but also knows how to fight in that body and with that sword. Like having muscle memory you didn't know you had. That's gotta be WEIRD. (I mean, there's also memories that clearly aren't hers, too)

Poor bb is scared, mad, and kinda turned on (shhhh I can headcanon whatever I want)

I called Yellow Diamond a clod, right to her face!!

("You made that joke the first time you saw this ep April" It's just a good joke okay!!)

OKAY EPISODE OVER

EP 3

Glimmer: everyone hates Horde soldiers but I think people will love you as She-Ra YOU JUST HAVE TO BE SHE-RA HA HA IT'LL BE FINE

Adora, internally: I'm only valuable/acceptable/lovable as long as I can be She-Ra, a person who isn't entirely me and that I don't know how to control and feel extremely weird about, got it

LOL I FORGOT HOW THEY GOT SWIFT WIND

whether the sword's edges are sharp or not is entirely dependent on whether someone needs it to be or not pffft

ouch

lol this would be such a wild cosplay to do

(a quick image google says the original is far more popular for cosplay; only a couple of people have done this version)

"Adora's gone, she's defected. And I'm starting to think she had the right idea!"

...okay how tempted do we think Catra actually was to just fucking leave.

Once again: intentional parallels to high-control religious groups

But the reference to Lord Hordak specifically also has shades of "Just wait until your father finds out what you did!" which is, uh, a little uncomfortably close to home ngl

DEEP SIGH

boy do I hate how familiar this is

I used to get so scared it would make my stomach hurt, and I'd shake the same way Catra does here, which sometimes made him angrier

jesus christ

okay how much of my love of Catra as a character is bc I can empathize with her in moments like this one (I was never as openly rebellious or back-talking as she is though; any disagreement got me screamed at)

I mean on the other hand Hordak is like "bitch, I know you've been doing this whole Golden Child/Scapegoat bullshit, so if your Golden Child fucked off and the Scapegoat is all you've got left then congrats that's on you, dumbass."

Catra thought she was gonna be murdered and instead she got a promotion

OKAY BUT ahahah oh god

IF Hordak had actually punished Catra or even threatened her in any way, I feel like Catra would, in fact, have left. There would be nothing left for her in the Horde, right? So why not leave?

But Hordak didn't promote Catra because he personally believes in her abilities, he did it to piss off Shadow Weaver. Then again maybe he knows that promoting Catra means she'll stay loyal.

Because it works, doesn't it. Oof. Catra wants to prove herself, dammit; and she's been given a shot at doing it, so she's staying.

Aaaugh.

OKAY that's 3 episodes out of 52. I think I'm done for today. No guarantees, though. Also there's no way I can do this for every single episode. >_<

#april rewatches spop

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icarusthefoolish · 2 years

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This is very late i am aware and it was my fault because i was dumb and didn't realize my first post was on April 15th....

Anyway even if it is late i still wanted to post this.

This is a small thank you to my mutuals!

(Don't be mad if i forget you i have a terrible memory)

It's crazy to know that i have already spent an entire year on this app, it may not seem like much to most people but for me it is because i thend to get bored of apps really quickly.

I just wanted to thank all of my friends and all of the amazing people i have met on this app, i know im a lot to handle i tend to think badly about my self and i am honestly anoying so i don't know how you put up with me but thank you for doing it.

A few special thanks to , @itsonlydana @forefinn , @sundrop-tetsu , @0yuioy0 @sardonic-the-writer , @luvrgutz , @rainxox0 , @wilczachannn , @wrenqueenisboss @blooming-mushroom , @sunniewrites , @junebug-isunavailable and a bunch of other people for being my friend's.

Also another thanks to each and every follower i have, it means the absolute world to me that 150 of you enjoy the shitty and honestly weird ideas and storys i have.

And one more really really big thank you to @nightmarefox15 , you have honestly been one of the main reasons i smile every day because just talking to you makes me so so so incredibly happy.

I joined Tumblr one year ago today and honestly this has been the best year for me simply because i have made so many incredibly kind friends. I still remember the first month or so that i joined Tumblr, i was terrified to talk to people because everyone i saw was so cool and i felt that everyone was genuinely better then me so i chose to stay by my lonesome and just read different story's. I still followed people but i never interacted with them until i came across a blog called "Watermelon Sugar Writes" i talked to them because i thought their Url was about the Harry Styles song "Watermelon Sugar high" which it wasn't.

Mel was genuinely my very first friend and i can't tell you how thankful i am that i met her, because of her i became friends with my now ex who i don't want anything to do with but because of that i began actually interacting with the people i followed be it on Anon or not.

And due to that i began talking to so many people who are now my friends and i can't say how thankful i am that they put up with me, i know i tend to be weird and annoying but it means so so so much to me that you're still here.

@nightmarefox15 : Definitely one of my first friends and also the person who played my favorite C!Anon. I love you so so so incredibly much and I'm so thankful that i met you and we became Friends. Your one of the main reasons that i start smiling when i wake up because i know that your there to greet me. I'm so thankful that your here and that you love me when i can't love myself. You make me laugh and blush even when i don't feel like it. I met so so so many incredible people because of you.

@sardonic-the-writer : Sar my saviour, honestly I'm so glad that I got to meet you even if it was because you stood up for me because hate Anons were flooding my asks, honestly i remember seeing you reblog the first ask made me scream because i used to always see you on my dash but i was too much of a whimp to follow or interact with you. But I'm so glad that i eventually did because you are genuinely one of the most amazing people i have gotten the pleasure to meet in my time on here.

@junebug-isunavailable : Juneee!! First of all Happy Birthday, second I'm very glad that i get to call you my mutual because you are amazing and incredible and i could kiss you /j. I absolutely adore your art and i also adore you. (Yes I'm aware this is early but shhhh)

@0yuioy0 : JJ, i still remember how we met, it was genuinely so weird but also funny, because i had been following you for a while but i was scared to talk to you because you just seemed so cool, but eventually (i think thanks to Ry) we talked, you sent me an ask and i freaked out. It's still one of my most treasured memories because it's so funny to think about.

@itsonlydana : Dana oh Dana, i don't remember how we met but i do remember how damn excited i was when we figured out that we both lived in Germany (and pretty close to each other) and now when i think of my friends your one of the first people that come to mind because we've gotten so close over the time we've known each other. We are both absolute simps for Foolish and we have a pretty similar taste in music. Ich habe dich wirklich so so so lieb gewonnen und ich könnte mir Tumblr ohne dich nicht vorstellen.

@eighthwvnder : oh wonder, we may not have known each other for very long but it honestly feels like we've known each other for an eternity, we started talking and we basically just clicked. We've had similar experiences with a few things and your genuinely one of the Kindest people I've met. And i have to again thank JJ for that because he got me to get into the Discord group and without him and that group i probably wouldn't have known you existed.

@as-you-should-peasant : Peasant! I am genuinely so thankful that i got the courage to talk to you because you are a genuinely amazing and incredible person. You accepted me with open arms and i couldn't be happier that i get to call you my mutual.

@luvrgutz : Sushi! Or El or whatever other names you use fjfjfj, i am so so so thankful that i got to meet you and i do actually remember how we met, because i was talking to Ry while little and he had to go so he sent me to you and i just remember how scared i was to talk to you because ew new people. But I'm very happy that i did talk to you because i can always come to you for advice. Im so thankful that we reconnected after you dissapered from Tumblr I'm so so so glad that I'm talking to you now.

@rainxox0 Rain my beloved, i don't remember how we met exactly but i do know that you are an absolutely amazing and incredible person and i genuinely love you /p you are absolutely incredible and i don't know what I'd do without you.

@sundrop-tetsu : Amelia my love I'm so so so thankful that i got to meet you through Ry because you've become one of my closest mutuals on here, i love when we interact because you just make me laugh and i couldn't imagine a world without you honestly.

@forefinn Finn, i know we don't talk much anymore but you are still incredibly important to me, i still absolutely adore your storys and i also adore you because you are so kind, i love you a whole whole whole lot Finn and i swear I'm gonna start talking to you more pinky promise!

I know there's so so so many more mutuals who i haven't tagged but i want all of my mutuals to know how incredibly thankful i am that we are friends.

It may seem ridiculous but meeting so many people on here has made my life so much better simply because i have always had a problem with meeting and befriending new people and now knowing that so many people care about me and are glad that they know me just makes me happy because i never had that before. Each and every one of you be it mutual, anon or just follower is so so so important to me.

So thank you to everyone who has put up with me throughout this entire year haha.

Basically what i want to say with this long ass text is thank you for being there for me, i couldn't have asked for better friends on this app. ❤️

Emery/Icarus

#aiko talks #aikos shit posts #Emerys 1 year anniversary

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nubreed73 · 1 year

Text

AO3 wrapped!

Tagged by @idrilka and I completely forgot until @stickmarionette reminded me!

Because I write AND vid I’ll be including the vids in my numbers too

Works Published: 26 - 3 fics, 1 fic WiP (unfinished), 14 vids (WTAF) and 8 vidlets/edits

Total Word Count: 86,081 - most of that for my unfinished WiP

Most Popular by Kudos: This is a no-brainer because in April I went from a juggernaut fandom (Chen Qing Ling/The Untamed) to a miniscule one (Naui Nara/My Country the New Age) and my unfinished WiP Lotus Flowers Rising From the Dark Mud has the lion’s share of my kudos for 2022.

Most Hits: Also Lotus Flowers

Longest: I feel like a broken record, but Lotus Flowers, unfinished at 122k is the longest story I have ever written by around 200% and that’s with it still being incomplete!

Shortest: My SeonHwi post-canon-divergent fic that I posted on New Year’s Eve: can’t hold my heart hostage

Vid that made me cry: I’m changing this one up because @rhea314‘s SeonHwi vid, Iscariot, which I saw in the Fanworks Minicon in April this year immediately destroyed me and it’s what made me watch My Country the New Age in the first place which has occupied my brain for nearly nine months.

Fic that made me cry: Deer Heart (Beyond Evil) by @drivingsideways which is an extremely devastating Park Jeong-je character study along with extremely messed-up Jeing-je/Dong-sik fucking around post-series. It is absolutely eviscerating.

Fic that made me smile: sing for the damage we've done (and the worse things that we'll do), by kinkywrists which was my gift for the Hongbao Exchange - Lounge Singer!Xiao Zhan and Bodyguard!Wang Yibo - just a delight from start to finish

Vid that made me smile: This delightful Do-hwan/Se-jong constructed reality AU vid by flwrjus

Events participated in: Hongbao Exchange for Lunar New Year.

Most Underrated Fic: it’s hard to say if they’re underrated because the fandom is so small, but probably my most recent MCTNA fic (can’t hold my heart hostage) it is short and I say it’s a PWP but the porn is not really the point here. What this fic is is a deep dive into Nam Seon-ho’s insecurities and abandonment issues and the fact that these have not magically disappeared just because he has Hwi in his life again.

Coming in 2023: Oh god. SO MUCH MCTNA fic. I have the following I am already working on: 1) another post-canon fixit fic 2) a companion piece to the post-canon-fixit fic already posted 3) a canon-divergent fic where Seon-ho and Sung-rok are taken by the Jurchen before they can return to the capital post-Liaodong and Seon-ho becomes a warlord. 10 years later, Hwi (who thinks Seon-ho is dead and vice versa) is an emisary for Bang-won and is found in unfriendly Jurchen territory and is taken as a warprize, unbeknownst to Seon-ho, 4) my crime family Modern AU, 5) my planned Kushiel’s Legacy fusion and about 6 more (lol i know i know)

(edit: also maybe some RPF shhhh don’t judge me)

Plus approximately 46598049856046 vids for MCTNA, Little Women, Under the Queen’s Umbrella, All of Us Are Dead and the list goes on

I am probably too late to tag anyone but anyone who wants to do it PLEASE DO

#meme #ao3 wrapped

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a-vast-horizon · 1 year

Text

I posted 1,577 times in 2022

15 posts created (1%)

1,562 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thetiredpenguin

@lordlyhour

@phantomrose96

@halfusek

@qapleulia

I tagged 1,577 of my posts in 2022

#funny - 352 posts

#video - 180 posts

#fanart - 150 posts

#me - 92 posts

#tumblr culture - 74 posts

#cute - 70 posts

#happy - 62 posts

#cats - 62 posts

#bendy and the ink machine - 58 posts

#art - 51 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#today someone at the grocery store with only 2 items let me go first into a new checkout line because she saw i had ice cream and the line w

My Top Posts in 2022:

Safe Inside (part 1)

Is it even a FNAF game without a dead kid being stuffed into an animatronic?

AKA an AU where Vanny catches and kills Gregory and stuffs him inside Glamrock Freddy.

Warnings: Major character death, referenced/implied death of a child

A bright display flickered to life, crisp camera feed and neon blue overlay replacing a black void, and Gregory startled to attention. Had he been asleep? That didn’t feel quite right, but he definitely hadn’t been awake , either.

At least he didn’t have to wonder where he was; the now-familiar display in front of him meant he was in Freddy’s chest cavity, which was the safest place he’d been in… a long time. He didn’t remember climbing in here, though. The last he could remember, he’d been trying to get out of the trash pit and back to the PizzaPlex proper when that creepy rabbit lady had started chasing him. He’d been hitting the button to call for Freddy’s help, but the bear hadn’t gotten there yet and he’d tripped on the stairs and—

And then he woke up here.

[Continue reading on AO3]

10 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

Private Footage

Another update for Going Angst Week 2021! Shhhh I don’t need to be told we’re 4 months into 2022, i’m following the 2021 prompts so it still counts.

[Day 1]

I give you: Day 4, Corruption!

The camcorder clicked on, focused on a plate of pancakes with chocolate chips forming a smiley face. It zoomed out in fits and starts, revealing the rest of the Fenton family kitchen, with a big shiny number 5 balloon tied to one of the chairs.

The camera turned to focus on the staircase as a newly-five-year-old Danny bounded down the steps, a huge grin splitting his face.

“Happy birthday Danny!” Maddie, Jack, and Jazz called out together, and Danny beamed and ran up to whoever was holding the camera for a hug. The video cut out as the camera tilted towards the ground.

The video picked back up later in the day, this time held steady by a tripod and pointed at the main stage of Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. The animatronic band stood still, the colorful spinning spotlights and children running by the only motion on screen. Then, with a click, the band came alive.

Chica’s eyes blinked, Bonnie adjusted his grip on his guitar, Freddy grabbed his microphone and held it to his mouth, and the children running past stopped and turned to watch.

[Keep reading on AO3]

14 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

Candy-Coated Poison

How do you infect an animatronic with a virus without raising suspicion? Present the virus as a game, of course! How exactly Moon was corrupted prior to the game, from his and Sun's point of view

Inspired by the playlist "POV: Watching Moondrop Go Insane (A Playlist)" by bsoiso s man on YouTube!

Diagnostics complete: 100%. All systems online. Rebooting personality S_lightmode… Rebooting personality M_darkmode…

Moon comes online in the Daycare. Their regularly scheduled maintenance and software updates went smoothly, then, if they’re already out of Parts & Service.

The lights are on, so Sun is in control, taking them through a few cartwheels as he checks the body’s joints are working as expected and works out his pent-up energy from being immobilized in the maintenance cylinder. Moon, meanwhile, takes stock of his code. Most of the changes are standard, small updates here and there to improve runtime or make use of new features developed over the previous month, but that’s not all.

There is a new game in his programming.

It’s odd. Sun is the one that plays with the children; he gets all the games, and Moon gets the stories. But despite that, there is a game in Moon’s internal library. He tries to open the file, to look through its rules and conditions, but the file is locked. All he can access is the name of the program: LightsOut.agm

Well, that explains why Sun didn’t get the code for it. If it’s meant to be played in the dark, Sun would never be able to run it anyway. But whenever the lights are out in the Daycare, it’s supposed to be naptime, calm and quiet.

Maybe this is a game to be played lying down, to lull the children to sleep? Or maybe this is designed for the Sleepover Mode that the technicians keep talking about, a game to be played if management has their way and allows the Daycare to be rented out overnight for slumber parties?

“Moon? Everything alright? You’ve been quiet,” Sun says, snapping Moon out of his thoughts.

Sun has worked most of the excess energy out of his system by now, and instead of cartwheeling around the Daycare, he’s sitting perched on their balcony, idly kicking his legs.

I’m fine, Moon assures his counterpart. I was… given a game.

[keep reading on AO3]

15 notes - Posted March 9, 2022

Backrooms — The Accident

It’s October of 1989, ASYNC is gearing up for the sixth test of their Low-Proximity Magnetic Distortion System, and it seems like this attempt might finally be a success. As preparations wrap up, two of ASYNC’s top scientists invite their teenage children to the facility for a look at their work.

Things do not go as planned.

Fandoms: Danny Phantom, The Backrooms

On October 14, 1989, two senior researchers on Project KV31, Madeline and Jack Fenton, brought their teenage children, Jasmine and Daniel, into the research site against company policy. Below is a transcription of relevant security camera footage of the resulting incident.

[16:17:33]: Madeline Fenton, wearing a lab coat and holding a briefcase, enters the room that houses the Low-Proximity Magnetic Distortion System.

Madeline, speaking: “—past few years of research are finally coming together.”

Jasmine Fenton enters the room, following Madeline, who is now looking down at the clipboard she holds.

[16:18:03]: Daniel Fenton enters the room and begins casually looking around at scientific equipment.

Jack Fenton enters the room, also wearing a lab coat. While Daniel and Jasmine stand idly in the center of the room, Jack walks to a piece of equipment installed on the eastern wall. Both children turn to face their father. Madeline continues looking at her clipboard.

Jack Fenton begins giving a detailed account of how the Low-Proximity Magnetic Distortion System functions, which has been redacted from this transcript for confidentiality.

[Continue reading on AO3]

18 notes - Posted September 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

If you like indie horror games, check out my discord server! We have channels for:

My Friendly Neighborhood

Five Nights at Freddy’s

Poppy Playtime

Dark Deception

Bendy and the Ink Machine

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And we regularly add new games as interest in them rises!

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19 notes - Posted March 10, 2022

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nerdzzone · 3 years

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-More Hearts Than Mine-

Summary: Raising a child is hard. Raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars is even harder. And raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars who you’re not actually in a relationship with is even harder still.

Especially when a global pandemic is sweeping the world.

With lockdowns and stay at home orders looming on the horizon, the uncertainty of their situation becomes almost too much for Whitney Taylor to handle. Chris suggests that they quarantine together to avoid any potential separations but, given what happened the last time they spent more than a few brief moments in each other’s company, that could cause more problems than it solves…

Chris Evans x OFC

Sequel to: Once Bitten - Twice Shy

Note: Again, just a reminder that all the information I have about covid restrictions in Massachusetts is from google, not first hand experience, so if something seems wrong please just go with it.

Part Three

______

Part Four

If avoiding difficult conversations was an Olympic sport then it's pretty safe to say that I would have earned myself a gold medal by the end of the following week. It wasn't all that hard to do though as the exhaustion from parenting during a pandemic was hitting us both. Especially because the weather for the first couple of weeks of April was abysmal. It was cold, stormy and raining almost every day and we were all getting quite stir crazy from being inside constantly - especially our lively and spirited child.

So, it was a massive relief when the sun finally came out.

It was also a relief that it lined up with Grayson's third birthday.

He was going to have a very different birthday than previous years - as most people would over the next few months - but we wanted him to have fun and he was quickly tiring of all the indoor activities that we could come up with.

We set the living room up the night before after he'd gone to bed, putting up a birthday banner with several clusters of balloons, and there was quite the mountain of presents in the corner as most of our family members had sent their gifts in advance. I had hoped to wake up before him, but when I woke up to excited cheers and Dodger barking from downstairs, I knew I was too late. A quick glance at my phone told me that it was only six thirty, but clearly the excitement had gotten him up earlier than normal.

"Whoa, Dodger, Grayson, shhhh," I heard Chris warn the pair of them, his voice still raspy from sleep. "You'll wake up the whole neighbourhood."

I smiled and quickly climbed out of bed. Chris wouldn't let him open any presents without me, I knew that, but I didn't want to keep him waiting for too long.

When I got downstairs, a very excited Grayson was bouncing on the couch as Chris sat next to him, watching him closely with a smile on his face.

"Happy birthday!" I cheered, catching his attention.

He sprang off the couch and bolted towards me.

"Thanks, Mama," He shouted, throwing his arms around my legs and looking up at me. "I'm three!"

"You are!" I smiled as I knelt down in front of him and pulled him into a hug. "You're such a big boy now."

He let me squeeze him for another moment or two before wiggling free.

"Can I open presents?"

Chris laughed at his clear priorities, shaking his head as I stood up.

"Let's just wait for Uncle Scott," he suggested before glancing up at me. "He's putting the coffee on."

"Very smart," I nodded. "I think we're all going to need plenty of that today."

Grayson proved my point by grabbing at his balloons and waving them frantically, setting Dodger off barking again.

"Dodge!" Chris scolded. "It's just a balloon, buddy. Chill."

The poor overwhelmed dog hung his head and came over to me for some sympathy. I happily obliged, cooing some comforting words and rubbing his back.

"Gray, leave the balloons, okay?" I requested. "I don't think Dodger likes them."

Grayson frowned, but instantly let go of the balloon in his hand.

"Sorry, Dodger."

"It sounds like we have quite the party in here already," Scott commented as he sauntered into the room. "Shall we see what's in some of these boxes?"

"Yes! Yes!" Grayson cheered, running over to the presents. "What first?"

"Whatever you want," I told him, smiling as I went to sit on the couch next to Chris. "Do you need some help?"

"No, I can do it!" He insisted, making a bee line for the biggest box and quickly ripping the paper off.

We watched as he opened gift after gift, an ear to ear grin on his face the whole time. Just as he was at Christmas, he was incredibly grateful for every present from the Paw Patrol Lookout Tower that was almost as tall as he was to the dinosaur books that were more educational than flashy and fun.

But there was one gift at the bottom of the pile that Chris wasn't particularly impressed by. The one that my brother had sent.

Grayson opened it, pulling out a t-shirt first.

"What does it say?" He asked, holding up the shirt towards us.

Chris' jaw dropped as I stifled my giggles and Scott burst out laughing.

"It says 'Team Iron Man'," I read. "Remember how Uncle Rob was in a movie with Daddy where they had a big fight? Iron Man was Uncle Rob's character and I think Uncle Jack wants you to be on that team."

"Oh," Grayson smiled. "Okay!"

"Okay?!" Chris protested. "You don't want to be on my team?"

Grayson shrugged as he pulled something else out of the box from my brother.

"Look!" He shouted, his excitement clear as he held up a very fancy electronic Iron Man helmet. "I love it!"

I wasn't even sure that he knew what it was as he hadn't seen any of the movies yet, but his enthusiasm compared to Chris' displeasure was killing Scott and I.

"Oh, it's such a shame that your brother wasted his money," Chris said, his words dripping with sarcasm as he had a forced look of pity on his face. "Those things are expensive and Grayson is never going to wear it."

"I'll wear it!"

Grayson's insistence was followed by him putting the helmet on his head and another howl of laughter came from Scott as a look of betrayal crossed Chris' face.

"Your brother is a jerk."

His words were quiet so Grayson wouldn't hear and I smiled.

"What can I say?" I shrugged. "We're an Iron Man family..."

Chris shot me a glare, but turned his attention back to Gray.

"Well, if you don't want to be on my team then I guess I'll just have to find someone else to have the last present that I got for you..."

Chris was teasing, but Grayson whipped off the helmet faster than we could blink. He looked around, a puzzled expression on his face when he couldn't see anymore boxes on the floor and I shared his confusion as I wasn't aware of anymore gifts either. But the Evans brothers exchanged a knowing glance and I knew they were up to something.

"Maybe Miles would like it," Scott suggested. "He loves Captain America."

"Me too!" Grayson insisted, tossing the helmet aside as if it hadn't been his new prized possession moments ago. "He's my favourite!"

"Oh, is he now?" Chris laughed. "Doesn't take much to make you change your mind, does it?"

Grayson shook his head, oblivious to the fact that he was being teased, but Chris didn't torture him for too long.

"Alright, do you want to see what it is?"

"Yes, I do!"

Grayson leapt up, bouncing up and down with excitement, making Chris laugh as he stood up from the couch.

"C'mon then," he told Grayson, nodding his head towards the door. "It's this way."

Grayson scurried after his dad and I followed, my own curiosity piqued as well.

"What is it?" I asked Scott, but he just shot me a smirk.

"You'll see in a second."

I narrowed my eyes at his secrets and paused at the front door where Chris was waiting for us, his hand on the door knob as Grayson practically vibrated with excitement.

"Okay, close your eyes," Chris instructed. "No peeking!"

"I won't, I won't!"

Grayson covered his eyes as an extra assurance and Chris' grin widened even more as he swung open the door. I put my hands on Grayson's shoulders and guided him through it, seeing a shiny blue bike with a big bow on the handlebars. I felt a flash of worry at all the potential ways for Grayson to get hurt riding it, but there was no time to dwell on that as Chris told him to open his eyes and he gasped with excitement.

"A bike!" He squealed with joy, leaping off the doorstep and running towards it.

He circled it for a moment as if he was really trying to take it all in while I looked up at Chris.

"There better be a helmet with this present," I warned him. "I'm already imagining broken bones and missing teeth."

"He'll be fine," Chris assured me with a chuckle. "It has training wheels, but of course I got him a helmet."

I opened my mouth, ready to share some more potential disasters that could come from this - because even with training wheels he could still fall off or lose control and crash into a tree - but Grayson cut me off.

"Help me, Daddy! Help me!"

He was trying to climb onto the seat, but as I took in the sight of him barefoot in his pyjamas standing in the driveway, I stopped Chris as he moved towards him.

"Wait, why don't we have breakfast first?" I suggested. "We have all day to play on your bike, but you're not dressed or even wearing shoes..."

Grayson's face fell and I felt bad being the mean parent, but Chris nodded in agreement.

"Your Ma's right, Gray," he told him. "Let's go get ready and then we can come right back outside, okay?"

Grayson looked sulky, but reluctantly agreed as he walked back over to us.

"Hey now," Scott said, catching his attention. "No pouting on your birthday! We've got some chocolate chip pancakes to make! Unless that sad face means you don't want them anymore?"

His previous smile slid instantly back onto his face at the promise of such a sugary breakfast and the pep returned to his step as he grabbed Scott's hand before dragging him into the house.

I had no evidence to prove my theory, but by the time breakfast was over, I was almost certain that it would have been more relaxing to be in the middle of a hurricane. There was pancake batter all over the room and we practically had to pin Grayson to his chair to stop him from sprinting around the room with food in his mouth. It was a miracle that he got through the meal without choking.

It was impossible to be mad though when he was having such a good time. He'd had so much to adjust to lately, seeing him happy on his birthday was all that I wanted and I was willing to put up with a little more chaos than normal if it made that happen. Within reason, of course. I did stop him when he suggested that we put the entire bag of chocolate chips in the pancake batter and I did make him help me clean them up when he dumped them on the floor in protest of my ridiculous restrictions.

Once the breakfast circus was over, Chris whisked him off to get him ready to play outside while I helped Scott clean up the kitchen before going upstairs to shower and get ready myself.

When I came back down almost an hour later, I felt considerably less frazzled, but the sound of excited squeals and giggles echoing from outside told me the energy levels hadn't died down much. It really was a relief that he was having such a nice day though so I braced myself for more chaos and headed out to find them.

The sight that greeted me melted my heart completely.

Chris was running backwards across the driveway as Grayson rode towards him. He shouted encouragement the entire time, reminding him to keep pedaling and to look where he was going and cheering as Grayson rode past him before turning around and circling back.

"Look, Mama!" He shouted to me as he spotted me by the door. "I'm doing it!"

"You are, baby!" I smiled. "Good job!"

I sat on the doorstep and watched him ride in circles, proud of how fast he'd figured it out, but after a few moments, my attention turned to Chris.

There were few times since I'd known him when I'd seen him look as happy as he did in that moment. When Grayson was born, when he took his first steps and when he first said 'Dada' were probably the only comparable moments I could think of. He looked absolutely gleeful as he chased after Grayson, laughing as he passed him before dodging a different way and waiting for Gray to catch up before bolting off again. The sound of their giggles and shouts filled my heart so much that it genuinely felt like it was about to burst out of my chest and a feeling of contentedness hit me so hard that it almost knocked over.

It was a feeling that told me that they were all I ever needed. Those two boys, making each other dizzy as they ran in circles. Their happiness and love was all I could ever hope to have and moments like these were all I ever wanted to see. I wanted us to spend every weekend soaking in this kind of joy. I didn't want to fight and argue and transport Grayson back and forth every other week. I wanted to give Grayson what he deserved, I wanted us to be a family.

But as fast as that clarity hit me, the knots in my stomach were there to remind me that it wasn't just about what I wanted. It wasn't about what would bring us the most moments of delight, it was about what would provide Grayson with the most stability and being a family might do more harm to that goal than good.

It was a constant battle between my heart and my head, but I was starting to realize that my head was losing. I was clinging to my resistance with all I had, but it was slipping away. I knew I needed to talk to Chris, to sort out the fog in my brain, but for the time being, I pushed it out of my mind. This was Grayson's day and we didn't have time for anymore heart-wrenching conversations.

I was snapped out of my thoughts as Scott appeared from the side of the house on roller blades and the unexpected sight pulled a laugh from my lips as he sailed past Chris and Grayson and headed down the driveway.

"Gray, follow me!"

Gray nodded, frantically pedaling to catch up with his uncle as they sped off down the long drive. Chris watched them for a minute before jogging over to me.

"He got it so fast," he puffed as he fought to catch his breath. "He's a natural."

"The training wheels help," I pointed out, shielding my eyes from the sun as I looked up at him. "But it's fine because he'll be keeping those on until he's at least eighteen."

Chris barked out a laugh, shaking his head.

"No way," he smirked. "We'll have them off by next week."

"Not a chance. I need at least six months to get used to that idea."

"How about we meet in the middle and aim for three?"

"Hmm, maybe," I bit back a smile. "We'll have to see how many injuries he gets with the training wheels on first."

"He'll be fine. He's a champ," Chris grinned proudly. "We've got a pretty great kid."

"We do," I patted the step next to me as I made room for Chris to sit down. "I can't believe he's already three."

Chris accepted my silent invitation and sat down next to me.

"I know," he sighed. "It feels like just yesterday that he was born..."

"He was so tiny," I reminisced. "And you had those huge Captain America muscles."

Chris laughed as he nodded at the memory.

"I was so scared to hold him in case I accidentally crushed him."

"I was so scared of everything," I admitted. "It wasn't until he was actually born that it really hit me that we were completely responsible for his well-being and keeping him alive."

"We've done well with that though!"

"We have," I agreed with a smile. "He's alive and thriving."

"We make a good team."

He flashed me a warm smile that made my heart beat stutter and it almost stopped completely when he stretched out a hand and placed it on mine. His touch was gentle and the warmth of his skin flooded through me even more than the sun streaming down on us. It was a simple gesture, but it eased the heaviness that had been hovering between us lately and I was grateful. I carefully flipped my hand over so our palms pressed together and let our fingers interlace. His smile widened as he looked back out at the driveway, his eyes settling on Grayson in the distance who was laughing at something Scott said.

"Thank you," Chris sighed, his voice quiet and filled with genuine appreciation. "I don't think I've ever said it, but thank you for making me a dad."

His words almost brought tears to my eyes, but I shook my head.

"Chris, you don't need to than-"

"I do," he insisted, cutting me off. "He's the best thing that ever happened to me and he wouldn't be here without you."

"I could say the same," I pointed out, trying to ignore the way his thumb was stroking the back of my hand. "He gets most of his good traits from you too. His kind heart, his sensitive little soul, his loyalty."

"His infuriating stubbornness."

"He gets that from both of us," I smiled. "He didn't stand a chance with that one."

"Well, I hope he gets some of your selflessness," Chris informed me, glancing over and looking a tad sheepish. "Because, as much as I disagree with it and I wish you'd be a little selfish, I get that you're trying to look out for him."

I felt my palms start to sweat and I wondered if he could feel it. I resisted the urge to snatch my hand away from his, trying to play it cooler than I felt. He was watching me closely as I mulled over his words until I found the strength to speak.

"I'm not so sure that it's just him that I'm trying to look out for," I admitted, exhaling a breath that I didn't realize I was holding. "I do think we have more to talk about, Chris, but I don't think this is the right time."

"You're right," he nodded. "I just felt like I owed you an apology after the other night. I let my feelings get the best of me and I came across a little harsh."

I was about to reassure him that he hadn't when the sound of honking interrupted our conversation. Our attention was pulled to the end of the driveway where two cars - belonging to Chris' mom and his sister - were pulling in as Scott moved Grayson and Dodger off to the side to let them past.

"Did you know they were coming?" I asked, surprised by the little motorcade.

"Nah, I had no idea," Chris shrugged. "We'll stay outside though, keep our distance."

I wasn't worried about that really, I knew all of Chris' family were staying very isolated and being smart about staying safe and we were technically allowed to have outdoor gatherings of up to ten people anyway with the current rules in place. I was surprised to see them though as we'd warned Grayson that he would only get to see most of his family over FaceTime. His excitement at that being untrue was clear as he frantically pedaled back up the driveway to greet his guests.

"Mama! Daddy! Look!"

I let Chris' hand fall away from mine as we stood, smiling at Grayson's excitement as everyone started getting out of their cars. They burst into a rousing chorus of 'Happy Birthday' making Gray's grin grow even more.

"Happy birthday, Grayson!" Lisa beamed as Grayson ran towards her full speed. He threw his arms around her legs before we could even remind him to keep his distance, but Lisa seemed unbothered by it. "Have you had a good day so far?"

"Yes!" Gray smiled up at her. "I got a bike!"

"I saw that!" Lisa matched his enthusiasm. "You're a lucky boy!"

Grayson shot her another smile before turning his attention to his cousins.

"Wanna try?"

His older cousins were probably too big, but Stella's hand shot up first and beat them to it anyway.

"That's really nice of you to share," I called over to Grayson. "But share your helmet too, okay?"

He nodded and struggled with the clip for a few minutes before Lisa helped him take it off and placed it on her granddaughter's head.

Once they were all happy, chasing Stella and Dodger around the drive way, the adults moved over towards us. Lisa was the first to speak, a guilty look on her face.

"I hope you don't mind us just showing up like this, but we couldn't stay away on his birthday..."

"It's great!" Chris assured her. "Don't worry about it."

"And Grayson seems thrilled," I added. "It's nice for him to have other kids to run around with for a bit."

We all turned to watch them as they played until Carly let out a laugh.

"Are Grayson's shoes on the wrong feet?"

I hadn't even noticed, but I laughed as well when I realized that she was right.

"Some days just getting him in shoes at all is a victory," Chris defended himself. "And today was one of those days."

"He's like the energizer bunny this morning," Scott joked. "I can't imagine what he'll be like after we get some cake into him."

"Just think how well he'll sleep tonight," Carly pointed out. "He has to crash eventually."

"I hope so," Chris smiled. "He had me up at six o'clock this morning, I need an early night."

That earned a laugh from the group as his siblings teased him about being such an old man, but I felt a pang of sympathy for him, knowing that he'd been up early with Grayson a lot lately. Maybe it was because we were at his house so it was what Gray was used to, but Chris was definitely the favourite for the early morning wake up call.

We stood in our little circle for a while, just catching up as we watched the kids, all of us enjoying conversation with someone other than the people we were locked up with twenty-four hours a day. It was nice for me to have some female company as well even though Lisa was very pleased to hear that her boys were pulling their weight around the house and not just treating me like some kind of live-in maid.

It didn't take long for the kids to get tired of sharing the bike, especially the older boys who were too big for it anyway, and soon they were swarming around us demanding that we all play a game. After being cooped up for so long, it didn't seem like a bad idea to get us all moving around a little so we agreed and set about the daunting task of finding something everyone was willing to play.

Eventually, we settled on capture the flag - girls against boys. Lisa decided she'd make a better referee than a player so the boys team had one extra member, but they had three children to our one so it hardly seemed like the extra person would cause any unbalance.

The rules of the game were simple: each team had three flags in our 'end zone' at opposite ends of the large grassy part of Chris' yard and the other team had to try to steal those flags. We had to grab it and run it all the way back to our own end zone to score a point, but once it was safely 'captured' it couldn't be stolen back. If someone managed to snatch a flag, but was tagged on their way back to their end zone then they had to give the flag back.

Lisa was very firm in reminding her children that tackling was not allowed as the Evans siblings were fiercely competitive and it had apparently led to trouble over the years. Once the rules were all set, we took our places and started the game.

The teams were fairly evenly matched. The boys had more strength, but we had more agility and were much better at communicating and working together which led to us easily scoring the first point. While Stella distracted Scott, Carly snuck past him to snatch the flag and she tossed it to Shanna who faked a pass to Stella before throwing it to me to get it to the safe zone. It was a beautifully executed play that showed the boys we weren't messing around.

"Oh, it's on now," Chris called out as he sprinted past me.

Shanna bolted after him, but he managed to grab the flag and throw it to Ethan before she caught up. With all the other boys guarding him, he made it all the way back to their end zone without getting tagged.

"I think having a super soldier on your team is an unfair advantage ," Carly huffed, but Chris shook his head with a smirk.

"Nah, because we have Scott too so it balances out."

"Hey!" Scott protested. "I'll switch teams if you're going to be rude!"

Stella jumped for joy at that idea, pleading with him to come onto our side, but the rest of the boys voiced their protests and he decided that, as long as there was no more hurtful comments, he would stick to his team for now. I used their bickering as a distraction though as I snuck closer towards their unguarded flags. I managed to grab one before Scott noticed and called out a warning to the rest of his team, but when I took off running and Grayson charged towards me, I didn't have the heart to out run him on his special day. I slowed down enough that he wouldn't realize I was letting him win and groaned dramatically as he tagged me, making me give up the flag.

"I did it!" He cheered. "Daddy! Did you see? I did it!"

Stella had a disappointed scowl on her face, but everyone else was understanding as they watched Chris scoop him up onto his shoulders, chanting his name as if he'd just won the World Cup while he carried him back to replace the flag.

Their celebration was short-lived though as we managed to steal the flag again almost as soon as Chris and Grayson were far enough away from it. After another perfectly executed play, the score was sitting at 2-1 for us. The pressure was on after that as we only needed one more point to win, it ramped up the competitive spirit.

We were off to a great start in the next round. Shanna got the flag quickly, but Scott had her cornered almost immediately so she tossed it to me. I got about ten steps before Chris was on my heels and I was forced to throw it over to Carly. Chris turned and went to chase after her instead and without even thinking, I leapt on his back to stop him.

"Hey!" He protested, slowing to a stop despite how he was clearly unaffected by my weight. "Is anyone seeing this? This has got to be a foul! She tackled me!"

"I did not tackle you!" I insisted, clinging to his shoulders with my legs wrapped around his waist. "If it was a tackle, you'd be on the ground."

Chris wiggled around, trying to throw me off his back as Carly sauntered into our end zone with the flag.

"The only reason I'm not on the ground is because you're too weak," Chris argued before shouting to his mom. "That doesn't count!

"No, Mama," Grayson joined in, running over to us looking very disapproving. "No cheating!"

I laughed, but slid down from Chris' back.

"Sorry, I'm sorry!" I held my hands up as I apologized. "I can't outrun Captain America, I had no choice!"

"Well, now you lost the point," Chris teased me, shoving me playfully and making me stumble a step away from him. "So, lets keep it fair and stop trying to cheat."

I swatted back at him as I stuck out my tongue while Lisa made the official call that the point didn't count and Scott took the recently captured flag back to the boy's end zone.

Chris had a new twinkle in his eye as the next round started. He hadn't let me get very far away from him and I quickly realized that I'd made a mistake by antagonizing him. I would be useless to my team if he was on my tail the whole time, but he was a tank and incredibly fast so getting away from him was next to impossible. I watched helplessly as Scott and Miles easily took our flag and dashed it back to their end zone to tie the score.

"Chris!" I whined as I tried to get around him like I was a cornered puppy, trying not to get caught. "Get away from me, you big oaf!"

"Oh, wow," Chris chuckled. "Let's not start calling names and being mean."

I tried to dart past him again, but groaned as he blocked my path.

"You're infuriating!"

"It's all part of the game."

The smirk on Chris' face had my competitive side firing up as I could see behind him that Miles had snatched our last flag. Stella was hot on his heels though, so he had no choice, but to pass to Grayson who was coming our way. Was I going to stop my three year old son from scoring the game winning point on his birthday? Probably not. But I had to at least make my attempt genuine so I came up with a plan.

"Is that..." I squinted off into the distance on the other side of the yard. "Is that Dodger chasing a cat?"

My Oscar worthy performance had Chris spinning around to check out what I saw and it gave me enough time to bolt away towards Grayson who wasn't far away from winning the game for his team. I made it an impressive five steps before Chris figured out what I'd done and came after me. Grayson saw what was happening and dodged to the left so I followed, but my change of direction gave Chris an opportunity. The next thing I knew, I felt a crash against my hips before I was lifted from the ground and found myself dangling over Chris' shoulder.

I let out a squeal of surprise as I kicked my legs, trying to get down, but Chris had a tight grip on me and there was no getting away. The ease with which he threw me around wasn't at all distracting and there wasn't a single part of me that was revelling in his strength. Not at all.

"This is absolutely a tackle!" I protested, focusing my mind back onto my predicament. "Put me down!"

"If this was a tackle, you'd be on the ground," he mocked me. "This is payback."

I had a nice view, my head only inches above 'America's ass' so, swept up in the moment of playfulness between us, I reached down and gave it a smack. He yelped and jumped, shaking me as he did.

"Chris! Put me down!"

My demands were weakened by the giggles that I couldn't hold back, but thankfully Scott stepped in to help me regain some dignity.

"Alright, you two," he called over. "Can we get back to the game now or would you like us all to give you some time alone?"

A blush covered my cheeks as I remembered that his entire family was around us and was relieved when he lowered me to the ground.

"Games over," Chris called back. "Grayson scored!"

Grayson jumped up and down happily, but Stella had a scowl on her face.

"Nuh uh! When Whitney tackled you, it didn't count!" She pointed out. "Grayson's point doesn't count too!"

The joy on Grayson's face fell into a look of anger as he stomped his foot at his cousin’s claim.

"It does!" He insisted. "I did it!"

"Now look what you've done," I playfully scolded Chris quietly before shouting to the rest of the group. "I think we're going to have to let them have the point, ladies. I wouldn't have been able to catch up to Grayson even if Chris didn't cheat..."

Stella's jaw dropped in clear shock that I hadn't supported her protests, but to stop the war before it could start, Chris chimed in.

"Grayson didn't need my help to score that point, I shouldn't have interfered," he started. "But why don't we call it a game and go have some cake?!"

The promise of sugar seemed to quash any animosity between the teams as all the kids let out a shriek of approval at that suggestion and took off running back to the house.

"Oh, yes," Carly sighed. "Because what my children clearly need right now is more energy..."

"It's Gray's birthday," Chris shrugged with a smile as we all followed the children at a much more reasonable pace. "We have to have cake!"

"And if it wasn't his birthday then I wouldn't have let you win."

My taunting earned a bark of laughter from Chris.

"Let us win? Yeah, sure, okay. You just keep telling yourself that you're faster and stronger than me," he teased. "Whatever makes you feel better."

I shoved him, but he was braced for it and I ended up more affected by the impact than him which proved his point, putting a smirk on his face.

"Asshole," I muttered as I shook my head, but I couldn't hold back a smile at how nice our affectionate teasing felt.

By the end of the day, we were all exhausted. It had been a fun and very special day for Grayson so we were thrilled for him, but exhausted nonetheless. Gray fought his bedtime with all the will power he had, eager for the day to go on just a little bit longer, but we won out in the end and he made it to bed on time. Scott had gone to his own room while we were fighting with him and Chris and I parted ways shortly after to get some much needed quiet time of our own.

I found myself distracted though, when I was finally alone, as the importance of the day had me feeling sentimental. Watching Grayson grow up and hit these milestones was a joy, but it left me feeling a bit reminiscent of the years gone by. Years when he was even smaller than he was now, just starting to figure out the world and how to speak, walk and be a part of it. The time was really flying by and as I began to scroll through old videos of his first year of life, the nostalgia was almost too much to bear.

Eventually, I stumbled on a video that had distinct parallels of today.

It was a video of Grayson's first birthday when we'd given him his own little cake and let him go to town on it. Of course, as many babies do, he'd stared at it for a moment before smashing his face directly into it. It was adorable and tugged on my heart strings considering how comparatively neat his cake consumption was earlier that day. He'd grown so much in such a short time and I felt compelled to share my discovery with Chris so I dragged myself out of bed and crept down to his room.

There was a fluttering of nerves in my stomach as I knocked on his bedroom door, the feeling only growing as he called out an invitation to come inside. I did as he'd asked and let myself in, finding him leaning back against the headboard of his bed - wearing nothing but his pajama pants - with his own phone in his hand.

"Hey," he smiled. "What's up?"

"I found a video," I told him, standing awkwardly near the foot of his bed. "I was feeling a little sad about how fast Gray is growing up so I was looking back, watching old videos and I found one that I thought you might like to see."

Chris’ smile widened and he eagerly patted the bed next to him, encouraging me to sit. I took him up on his offer and settled in as I unlocked my phone and started the video.

"He was so little..."

Chris' observation came as the camera settled on Gray where he sat in his high chair. Chris was right next to him, a grin on his face as he chatted happily to our son despite the nonsense babble that he got in response. I appeared on the screen after a few moments, carrying a tiny cake as everyone started to sing Happy Birthday. Grayson had a look of confusion on his face as he looked around at the crowd, but his eyes widened when the cake was placed in front of him.

"Go on, Gray," I prompted once the singing had stopped. "You can taste it."

He needed no more encouragement and simply face planted right into it, popping up a moment later with blue icing from the tops of his eyebrows to the bottom of his chin. He had a huge, cheeky grin on his face as he looked at us and, just as he did in the video, Chris laughed next to me.

"Oh, man, it kills you, doesn't it?" He questioned before clarifying. "How cute he is."

I hadn't realized that Chris' arm had found its way behind me when he leaned in to watch until I felt his breath on my hair as he spoke and I couldn't resist leaning back, tucking myself under his shoulder. The whole day, the knowledge that my baby was growing up, had me needing some comfort. It was exciting, to see him learn and shift from a baby to a little person, but at the same time, I felt the overwhelming urge for time to stop.

"It does," I agreed, letting my phone fall to the bed beside me. "I can't believe how much he's changed since then."

"In some ways," Chris agreed, looking down at me with a smirk. "In others, he's still that goofy, reckless baby."

"If he's anything like you, he'll probably never grow out of being goofy and reckless."

I felt Chris' shoulders shake as he chuckled at my teasing and I was reminded of the last time we'd been cuddled up, in a similar position to this, in his bed. I felt a flood of warmth run through my body at the memory as I was suddenly aware of how close we were, aware of how good he smelt and how strong his hard muscled arm felt as I leaned against it.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"I meant it as one," I assured him. "I like that you're goofy. Your recklessness used to give me anxiety sometimes, when you'd always insist that you just had to do your own stunts on Captain America as if you really thought you were a super soldier, but I like that you're willing to take risks."

"Awe, gee, Whitney," he teased, squeezing me closer against him. "It was nice of you to worry about me."

"Of course I worried," I rolled my eyes. "Your muscles are bigger than your brain sometimes."

"Not anymore..." Chris held up the arm that wasn't currently around me and flexed his muscles, showing off a bicep that was still much larger than most even if it wasn't quite up to the Avengers standard. "I'm out of shape."

Against my own best interest, I turned slightly, letting my hand drift up towards his arm as my head fell against his chest. I traced over the bulging muscle and watched as tiny goosebumps rose up on his skin at the sensation. Skin that felt so soft under my touch and I felt his breath shift as he clearly felt the mood between us change the same way that I did. I felt emboldened by how amorous our emotional day had left me as I let my head tip back to find him looking down at me with the same intensity he had a few months ago.

My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't help myself. Despite every alarm bell going off inside my brain, I stretched up just enough to press my lips against his. For a moment, he relaxed. His shoulders dropped as my fingers curled around the arm they were just stroking, but then suddenly his entire body tensed as if he'd been shocked by a bolt of electricity. He jerked away, sliding out from under me and off the bed before I could even realize what was happening.

"No," he said firmly, pointing his finger at me the same way he did to Dodger when he was being naughty. "No, no, we're not doing this again. Not until we talk about it what's going on here."

I felt the sting of rejection so harshly that it almost brought tears to my eyes, but I knew he was right.

"I'm sorry," I squeaked out, my cheeks burning. "You're right. I shouldn't have done that."

My voice was shaking as I scrambled to stand up, the stunned look on Chris' face only adding to my embarrassment. We stood there, staring at each other with the bed between us, but he didn't speak and after a few moments of silence, my shame was overwhelming, kicking my flight instincts into gear.

"I'll go," I mumbled. "Sorry again."

I didn't wait for a response before darting towards the door, but Chris' voice stopped me before I could make my escape.

"Whitney, stop." He didn't shout, but his tone was firm and demanding enough that I froze on the spot. "We need to talk about this. We can't keep going on with it hanging above our heads."

I turned to face him, discovering that he'd moved closer and was standing by the foot of the bed. He was still a few feet away from me, but close enough that it felt almost suffocating and I bit my lip as I stared at his feet, unable to look him in the eye.

"I don't know what to say..."

"I can take it," he insisted, a hint of resignation in voice as he continued. "You've had plenty of time to think it over since our last conversation and you said earlier today that we needed to talk. If you're gonna turn me down, put whatever this is to bed, just do it now and get it over with."

I furrowed my brow in confusion at his words, my heart beating in my chest so fast that I could hear the blood pumping through my ears.

"Turn you down?" I questioned. "Why do you think I'm going to turn you down? I just kissed you."

"That didn't mean much at Christmas."

He had a very valid point and I felt another pang of guilt at how badly I was treating him. I was hot and cold, affectionate and withdrawn, unwavering in my decision one minute and unsteady the next. I hadn't spared much thought to how cruel that was and now that I'd realized, I couldn't hold back the frustrated groan that fell from my lips.

"I don't know what to do, Chris! I think I know what the right decision is. It's what always felt like the safer choice, but then there are times when that's just..." I paused, taking in a deep breath to work up a dash of courage. "It's not what I want."

Chris watched me closely as if choosing his next words very carefully.

"If the safer choice isn't what you want then it sounds like maybe you need to take a risk. You can't live your life making decisions out of fear."

My eyes narrowed. He was over simplifying the situation. That way of thinking might work if it was just the two of us, but with Gray in the middle, things were more complicated.

"It's not that straight forward."

I shook my head as I spoke, but Chris countered with a nod.

"Sure, it is," he shrugged before asking a question that almost stopped my heart. "Do you love me?"

I stared at him, opening my mouth to speak and then closing it again when the words didn't come. I stood there, gaping at him like some kind of ridiculous puffer fish, until I finally got a word out.

"What?"

A smirk slid onto Chris' face at my floundering as he repeated the question.

"Do you love me?" He asked. "And don't say it doesn't matter or it's not important. Just yes or no."

I stared at him for a moment longer as a war between my head and heart raged inside me. Deny, deny, deny was what my head was screaming, but in the end the quiet reminder of now or never from my heart was what won out.

"Yes, I do," I admitted, proud of my voice for not breaking. "I always have."

There was a grin on Chris' face now, but my stomach churned because it didn't mean anything. As I said, I'd loved him all along and yet here we were, no better off.

"That's all that matters then," he insisted. "We can figure out the rest."

"But what if we can't figure it out?" I protested, crossing my arms as if I could somehow fold into myself and disappear completely. "What if it's nice for a while and then it all comes crashing down around us? What about Gray?"

He shrugged again. His whole demeanour miles away from my own. He seemed confident, hopeful, almost excited while I felt nauseous, terrified and paralyzed by fear.

"But what if it doesn't? What if it all works out nicely? Why are you so convinced that we wouldn't last?"

"Because you're you," I reminded him, my tone flat as I stated the obvious. "Hollywood super star, Chris Evans. And I'm me, a boring nobody. You could have pretty much any famous actress you want, the only person who wants to be with me is the creepy maintenance worker in our apartment building."

Chris looked taken aback as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What? I've never heard about this guy."

"He's just some weird guy who does the repairs," I shrugged. "He comments on my outfits and looks at me in this way that makes my skin crawl, but he's harmless."

"Doesn't sound harmless to me," Chris argued, crossing his arms as a thunderous look settled on his face. "Does he have access to your place?"

"No!" I assured him, but after my quick answer I realized that I wasn't so sure. "Well, I don't know. He might have a spare key, I guess. If most maintenance people do? They have to give me notice before they enter the apartment anyway."

"Unless he's sneaking in to perv on you."

"Chris! That's gross!" I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "Why would you put that thought in my head?!"

"I told you that you should have let me buy you a house," Chris huffed. "You're moving when all this covid shit is over."

"Oh my god," I groaned having flashbacks to our conversation a few weeks ago about him buying me a car. "All of this is so beside the point! We're talking about how you'd get bored of me and leave me heartbroken for some flashy Hollywood babe, remember?"

"Right," Chris nodded, letting his arms fall to his side. "But that's such a ridiculous idea that I thought it was hardly worth acknowledging."

His dismissal of one of my biggest fears sent a flash of anger through me.

"How is it ridiculous?" I snapped. "It's true!"

"You know me, Whitney," Chris sighed. "You know that my team had to practically force me into doing Captain America because I had one foot out the door of the whole acting gig and I hated the way Hollywood made me feel. Do you really think that I would give up a chance at a having family with you, someone who I really care about, for some wild, short-lived fling?"

His tone conveyed his disbelief, but he hadn't quite accurately interpreted what I meant.

"I think you'd regret it," I clarified. "I think that once the initial excitement wore off, you'd see that I'm nothing special and that I don't fit in your world."

Chris was looking at me as if I'd grown an extra head and I crossed my arms a little tighter around myself.

"We were friends long before Grayson came around and I've always thought that you were something special. Where is all this insecurity coming from, Whitney? Because I just don't get it."

I swallowed hard as I bit my lip. I felt incredibly vulnerable and the urge to run away and continue ignoring all my feelings seemed much preferable to standing here and analyzing them all, but I stayed strong. We were both adults and this was the only way to move forward. Whether it ended how Chris wanted or not, he deserved to know how I felt.

"I spent a long time convincing myself that you didn't care about me as anything more than a friend. I told myself that it was an insane idea because we're in two very different leagues so there was no point getting my hopes up. Then that night happened and I thought that maybe I'd been wrong, that it could be the start of a really good thing, but then you were gone by the time I woke up and you never called."

I barely choked out the last few words as I fought back the tears that were swimming in my eyes. An unmistakable look of guilt flashed onto Chris' face and he opened his mouth to comment, perhaps to defend himself, but I held up a hand to stop him. I needed to get it out or I never would.

"Then three weeks later, I found out I was pregnant," I continued. "I assumed from your silence that you didn't want to be with me and I knew that we were good together as friends so I kept my feelings to myself and spent the last three and a half years beating myself up for thinking for even one second that you would want to be with me."

"I did want to be with you..."

Chris was looking at me with those puppy dog eyes that he'd mastered and I sniffled as a tear slipped down my cheek.

"I know that now, but I can't just turn those thoughts off."

Chris sighed and rubbed his hands over his face before holding out his arms.

"C'mere."

I shook my head, wiping my tears as I worried that I'd fall apart completely if I stepped into his arms, but when he persisted and gestured me over again, I couldn't resist. I took the few steps needed to close the space between us and let my arms slide around his waist. He hugged me close to his body, burying his face in my hair as pressed mine into his muscled chest. We stayed like that for a few moments until Chris broke the silence.

"I'm sorry. I was an idiot," he apologized, his words muffled by my hair. "I should have fought for you. At the very least, I should have stayed until you woke up and I should have called, but I was scared too."

I felt more tears fill my eyes as I choked out a soft "I know".

Another silence fell between us before Chris spoke again, his words making my heart almost stop completely.

"I was going to propose." I pulled back at that confession, my eyes wide as I looked up at him unable to process his words fast enough to speak before he continued. "I called my mom up as soon as you told me you were pregnant. I wanted her to help me pick out a ring, but she talked me out of it. Said you'd think I was doing it for all the wrong reasons."

My heart fluttered back to life at the sincerity in his admission, but I nodded my head.

"Your mom is a smart lady," I told him. "I absolutely would have thought you were only doing it because you felt you had to."

"It wasn't out of obligation though," he insisted. "Maybe I was getting a bit ahead of myself leaping straight to marriage, but I cared about you. It was an opportunity to make it official, make that commitment and be a family. That's what I wanted."

I stayed quiet, resting my head back against his chest as I tried to take in all this new information. It was a lot to process especially when it directly contradicted the belief I had clung to for so long - that Chris and I would never work and for Grayson's sake we were better off apart. That assumption was so deeply embedded in my brain that it was hard to find the courage to take such a risk.

As if Chris could sense my lingering indecision, he continued.

"It's still what I want," he said softly. "Being here these last few weeks with you and Grayson as a family has been a dream come true. I wouldn't give it up for anything or do anything to jeopardize it if you'd just give me a shot."

The word 'okay' was so close to the tip of my tongue that it shocked me.

That was all I had to do, just open my mouth and agree and he would be mine.

My heart was pleading with me to do it, to take that leap and ignore any of the arguments against it that were running through my mind - especially now that those arguments seemed much less sound than they had a few short weeks ago. I was so conflicted that it almost physically pained me to have to make a decision and I couldn't help, but wonder how he could be so certain.

So, I leaned back and tilted my head so my eyes could meet his.

"How can you be so sure?" I questioned. "After how things have been these last few years, how can you be so confident in your feelings?"

"Because I love you," he told me plainly and with unwavering surety. "If you tell me right now that it's not what you want, then I'll accept your decision. But if there's a hint of a chance, then I'll wait as long as I need to. I've been waiting for years, thinking that I didn't even have a shot, I think I can wait a little longer now that I know that I might."

It was another heart wrenchingly honest explanation, another vulnerable admission, and something in the openness with which he spoke made me realize that over the last three years he had done nothing to earn any distrust from me. Even after the fallout from Christmas, he'd put his hurt feelings and pride aside to make things easier for me. He'd been sincere during every discussion we'd had since then and hadn't been cruel or impatient about my indecision. I had no reason at all, other than my own fear and insecurities, to assume that he was going to break my heart and tear apart our family.

He deserved a little bit of trust from me as well and a clarity washed over me as I finally knew what I had to do.

There were words I could have said, probably should have said, but I didn't feel like there was anything that would accurately portray how I was feeling. I settled for a more direct approach as I pressed up onto my toes and let my lips fall against his.

He tensed at first and for a brief, heart stopping moment, I thought he might push me away again, but he didn't. He relaxed, pulling me closer as my hands slid to cup his neck.

It was a soft kiss. A gentle, loving kiss, that I hoped conveyed what I couldn't figure out how to say. But when our lips parted and he leaned down to rest his forehead on mine, there was a concern in his eyes that told me I wasn't going to get away with it that easily.

"What does that mean?"

I bit my lip, staring up past his long eyelashes into his eyes. There was still a tiny voice in my head telling me to run, to stop being so foolish and leave now before I made a mistake, but my heart had found its footing now and wasn't going to back down. Listening to my head all this time hadn't made things any easier, so it was time to try something else.

"It means," I started, taking in a shaky breath. "I don't want to keep you waiting anymore."

Chris let out a breath of relief as a tentative smile slid onto his face.

"Really? You're sure?"

I swallowed hard and nodded my head.

"Yes," I breathed out, my voice thick with all the emotions swirling through me.

He dipped his head a touch lower until our lips were reconnected. It was a deeper kiss, more desperate than the first as his tongue slid against mine and his grip tightened on my waist, my nails scraping against the fuzz of his recently cut hair. I caved into him, clinging to him like he was a lifeboat in a storm until he pulled back to take a breath.

My chest heaved against his, the adrenaline of his touch and what this finally meant, almost too much to handle. I settled back down, flat on my feet and nuzzled my face back into his chest as I fought to calm my racing mind and just enjoy the moment.

"You really mean it?" Chris asked again, the shakiness of his voice filling me with another pang of guilt. "You really want to give this a try?"

"I mean it," I nodded against him. "Doesn't mean my concerns have all vanished in the last five minutes, but I...I think I need to trust you."

"I won't let you down," he murmured into my hair as he pulled me even closer. Another silence fell between us until I broke it with an embarrassingly large yawn and Chris' chest shook as he chuckled. "Do you wanna sleep down here tonight?"

As soon as he'd asked the question, it suddenly hit me how exhausted I was. Even just the thought of walking upstairs seemed like an impossible task when there was such an inviting, comfortable bed only steps away from where I stood. But a thought popped into my head that I couldn't ignore and I turned my head slightly so I wasn't speaking directly into Chris' muscles.

"What about Gray?" I asked. "He always comes to you in the morning..."

"Would it matter?"

His tone wasn't accusing or annoyed, but genuinely curious as sharing a child did add a strange new element to all this. I didn't really know what the best way to handle it was since Grayson didn't really understand our relationship or know how a typical family was set up anyway, but it didn't seem like the best way to introduce him to the idea.

"I think we should talk to him about it instead of just letting him stumble on us in bed together," I suggested. "But I think maybe we should wait a while?"

Chris' face fell as the look of worry returned.

"You want to keep this a secret?"

"I didn't mean it like that," I shook my head. "You can tell whoever you want, but I think we should figure things out, make sure things are stable between us before we try to explain it to Gray."

"Alright, that's fair," Chris agreed before leaning down to place another soft kiss on my lips. "I'll wake you up before he comes down."

"Okay," I nodded as I let my thumb stroke his cheek.

We reluctantly slipped out of each other's arms, but it was a brief separation as we climbed into opposite sides of the bed. Once we'd turned the lights off, we met in the middle and he pulled me back against his chest, letting me hook my leg over his hip as we settled against each other.

Chris ran a hand up and down my spine as he nuzzled in my hair.

"This feels nice..."

"It does," I hummed. With the darkness around us, the quiet that had settled in, I felt encouraged to say something that I'd felt I should have said long ago. "I'm sorry, Chris."

I felt him tense.

"For what?"

"For messing you around so much," I admitted. "Especially at Christmas...that wasn't cool."

"If I had expectations, I should have laid them out before anything happened." His answer sounded rehearsed, as if he'd spent a long time convincing himself of that fact. I wasn't entirely sure it was a fair statement, but he continued before I could question it. "I can understand where you were coming from, but I promise I won't hurt you."

I felt a pang of uncertainty because that wasn't always a promise that could be kept, but the sincerity in his voice gave me hope. I placed a soft kiss against his chest as his hands slid up under the loose shorts I was wearing to cup my bum.

"I love you," I mumbled against his skin.

"I love you too," he replied, making a feeling of warmth flood through me. "Thank you for giving me a chance."

I sighed happily as my exhaustion had my eyes fluttering shut. I wanted to stay awake, to keep this moment before the brightness of the morning could bring any doubts or second guesses, but I was powerless to resist as sleep overtook me.

Part Five

Tags: @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @zaylaugh @flowery-mess @flowerjewels @njrronaldo7 @hockeychick10

#chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fic #more hearts than mine

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lauras-collection · 3 years

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✮ electric love | teaser ✮

harrison osterfield x fem!reader

fwb!roomates au

|| Masterlist || Series Masterlist ||

Summary: Living with your best friends Tom and Harrison is all fun and games until one drunken night alone with Harrison, you give in to your attraction to him. You tell yourself you should leave it at that, forget about the night you spent with him and move on to not ruin your friendship, but neither of you can stay away from each other. So without considering the possible consequences, you make a deal. But how are you supposed to keep your shenanigans from Tom? And how are you supposed to not break the number one rule of an arrangement like this: do not fall in love.

A/N: ahh I just couldn’t help myself so here’s a teaser!! First part will be posted next Friday April 23rd!!!

“Shhhh” You shush him, placing your pointer finger over his lips “Don’t question my logic”

Harrison gently wraps his hand around yours to pull it away from his mouth.

“I’m sorry to say this, but there isn’t much logic behind that theory, love.”

“You’re mean” You push your bottom lip forward in a pout.

“I’m not! I’m just stating facts here” He’s still holding your hand in his and you’re suddenly hyper-aware of every inch of your skin that’s touching his. So in an attempt to stop the shivers running down your spine, you try to pull your hand out of his hold, but his grip just tightens. When you look up, he’s already looking at you, a challenging glint in his eyes.

“What are you doing?” You ask your voice barely above a whisper.

“Nothing” He shrugs his shoulders, the corner of his mouth kicking up into a smirk. And then he tugs on your hand, pulling you on top of him, and in a movement that has your head spinning, he rolls both of you over so he’s now hovering above you. You don’t even have the chance to say anything before he’s got his hands on your sides, tickling you.

“Oh my god, Haz, no” You press out between laughs, your stomach already starting to hurt. You try to curl up into yourself to get away from his wiggling fingers, but it’s no use, Harrison’s got you pinned down.

You hadn’t even been aware that he’s positioned between your legs, and the sudden realisation makes your breath catch in your throat. You try to get a grasp on his arms to push him away, get him to stop tickling you, but he’s too strong, taking your hands and pinning them above your head. The motion has his face only inches from yours, his breath hitting your lips, and it takes everything in you to keep still. The air between you is charged, his eyes flitting over your face, and you can feel his chest touch yours with every breath.

By now, he’s completely covering your body on the couch, and all you want to do is wrap your legs around his waist and pull him closer into you. But you can’t move, kept in place by Harrison’s pale blue eyes. And then everything happens so quickly it takes your breath away.

part one coming April 23rd 2021

#harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield fic #harrison osterfield series #harrison osterfield au #harrison osterfield scenario #self insert #uni au #roommates au #fwb au #college au

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leejungchans · 3 years

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— juliet’s hair through the eras.

aka i finally stopped being too lazy to make this and also i’m losing track of juliet’s different hair colours so this is also a reminder for me 🤠🤠🤠

note: 99% of these aren’t juliet’s face claim hwjsjw this is just to give you guys an idea of what her hair looked like!!

as for in between comebacks, she will either keep the hair colour from the last comeback or dye it back to her natural hair colour (dark brown) if the break was longer!!

— debut era (pirate king/treasure era);

all throughout her trainee days juliet kept her natural hair colour, so for her debut she wanted to change it up but at the same time not have it be too different ahjshwjs 🤡

the end result turned out to be a slightly lighter brown with blonde highlights

one of her favourite styles to this day!! she likes it especially when it’s curled like in the photo on the right!!

— hala hala/say my name era;

she said chop chop bitch ✂️

her hair was dyed to black and cut to around chin-length

this was a pretty sudden decision ie. the boys didn’t know about it until after she got back from the salon

seonghwa: “BAEK MINYOUNG WHAT DID YOU DO WHERE IS THE REST OF YOUR HAIR?????”

“i ate it 😀 of couRSE I CUT IT OFF WHERE ELSE WOULD MY HAIR BE????”

her hair gradually grew into a long bob throughout promotions which she also loved!!

— wave era;

two hair colours for this era!!

she started with a golden blonde which she liked but then atiny started to joke about it looking like spaghetti 💀

so for revenge juliet dyed it to a light, ashy brown mid-promotions like lmao sIKE who’s the spaghetti now 🤠🤠🤠

another very sudden decision; one day she was blonde and the next day she showed up on stage as a brunette and everyone was like wtf when did that happen????

a lot of atinys thought the brown was spray-on dye but it wasn’t (she dipped like half of her hair in water during a vlive to prove it and sat through the rest of it with sopping wet hair 🤙)

— wonderland era;

haha turns out the brown didn’t last long at all bc juliet went back to blonde for this era!! 🤡

compared to the blonde from the beginning of wave era, this one was a lot paler so it looked more like white than blonde

she liked it but she really felt the hair damage during this era can we get a big yikes in here 💀

it had to be maintained all throughout promotions so she had to keep bleaching it and touching up the roots to make sure it stayed whitish-blonde

one night during practice she was extra emotional from exhaustion and sleep deprivation, so when she accidentally pulled a small clump of her very damaged, very brittle hair out she started crying which scared the boys bc ??? what happened ??????

jongho, very concerned: is everything okay??? who do i need to beat up??????

juliet, holding out the hair for them to see while crying: HHHHHjonghoimgonnabebaldwhatdoidoHHHHHHHHHH

it wasn’t that much hair but she was very tired at the moment oKAY 💀

— answer era;

so yeah after that crying incident she went back to dark hair right at the beginning of december 2019 so her hair could take a break 🤡🤡

she also got those wispy bangs which she really loved!!

sometimes her hair stylist would part her bangs down the middle just for some variety!!

kept the dark hair all throughout answer era; she felt it got a bit boring but she wanted to let her hair rest so she wasn’t complaining too much 💀

overall, nothing too special to note during this era but her hair looked a lot healthier and also more luscious!! i mean it was also thanks to hair extensions but shhhh

— inception/thanxx era;

another one of her favourite hairstyles!!

juliet kept the dark hair but this time she added green highlights!!

she loved it bc it was simple but still had some ✨Spice✨ to it

this hairstyle also made her feel a little like shego from kim possible so she definitely wasn’t complaining 🤩🤩

at first only the pieces framing her face were dyed green but towards the later stages of promotion she added more highlights!! (not really shown in the above collage)

— fireworks era;

definitely juliet’s brightest/most unconventional (?) hair colour since debut

but she loved it!! after having mostly dark hair for a year she was ready to sacrifice her scalp to the hair gods again!! 🤠🙏

in the mv and during early promotions the purple was brighter and more saturated

but as promotions went on it started fading to a more muted shade which she also liked!!

the purple lasted until early april before she went blonde again (a similar shade of blonde from wave era)

she’s bringing the spaghetti back yessir yessir yessir gracias 😋🍝

a/n: writing this made me think of a few things 🤠 1) yeonjun pulling out a clump of his hair mid-interview (?) which inspired that bit about juliet crying when she yanked out her hair 2) just how damaged is rosé’s hair???? 😭😭😭 she’s been blonde since 2019 is her hair okay?????? 3) wanting to dye my own hair kinda like the first one with the blonde highlights 🤠

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florencwrites · 3 years

Text

ever since phoenix 〚dreamwastaken〛

in which clay has earned himself the name dreamboat, short; dream. a mcyt spin on macgyver where reader deals with remnants of trauma.

(!) blood, mentions of emotional trauma, kidnapping (!)

"Soooo," Jack trailed cautiously. He was not a man of deliberation per se, however, he knew when a certain level of carefulness was needed. This was one of those times. "How are you and the missus?"

"Fine." Brief and effective. That's Clay for you. "Now is not exactly the time for relationship advice, Jack."

"So you agree, you need relationship advice." He scanned the room again, gun tight in his grip; leading his gaze. "Boxed yourself there, pal."

"Let's talk about this after I've disarmed this, alright?" A huff of annoyance from the crouching blonde, his face a mere few inches from the ticking device. A device that normally would've taken him barely a minute to take apart, but with his good friend hanging from his lips; it took a little longer than expected.

Jack, in response, cleared his throat loudly, raising his eyebrows in mock warning. "I'm just saying, something's not right and maybe genius over here needs some help." He rolled out the tension in his shoulders, his gun still pointed at the entrance. He shot his eyes back to his friends after his lack of reply, only to see him dropping the now useless device. "I don't need your help, we're doing fine."

Clay rose to his feet, dusting off his pants before pushing past Jack to head for the reinforced door. Of course, being the armed one of the two, Jack pushed himself back in front of him, clearing the hallways before continuing their journey through the complex. Their backs pressed against the rough concrete, bullet holes still decorating them almost entirely. Reaching a junction, Jack lowered himself slightly before peeking his head around the corner. "Clear."

The pair moved onto the next hallway, Clay mirroring his companion's steps almost entirely. "Come on, Dreamboat, just admit there's some things that little brain of yours just can't wrap itself around."

"There are many things my brain can't comprehend, love isn't one of them." He rolled his eyes, knowing fully well that Jack had his back turned to him anyways. "It's just chemistry, simple."

"You're wrong, I'm telling you." A sing-songy tone to his words, Jack taunted the blonde some more. "Chemistry's just the first step, my friend. After that, it's all up to you."

"We've got company."

"Fine, do your thing. We're talking about this later." A promise, one made while firing several rounds of bullets into enemy lines.

"You might be the dumbest genius I've ever met." Sheer annoyance laced the older man's tone, immediately tracing his words with a swirling sip of lukewarm beer. The other side of the dialogue, too, showed serious signs of irritation. A drawn-out groan while throwing his head back, Clay replied, "Fine, I'll bite. Why?"

"Well, where's the lady of the house?" He threw out the bait. However, Jack had neither been a man of patience, so as Clay opened his mouth to answer his rhetorical question, Jack already intercepted him, "Bet she's real tired, huh?"

"Yeah, how'd you- Nevermind." He glanced over the look on his friend's face, soon realizing he bit right into his hook.

A sigh, a genuine one. Reaching forward to lean his elbows onto his knees, staring into the flames of the firepit they had grown so used to. "So, what does she sleep in?"

"Dude! Gross, I'm not answering that."

"Bet it's that beige shirt of yours, right? The one with the big red letters." He never once averted his gaze to meet Clay's, keeping them entirely trained on the fire. Clay furrowed his eyebrows, his emerald eyes slowly making their way to the bottom left corner of his vision, a tell he often showed when deliberating his next move. He then, too, leaned forward to rest on his knees. Once again, mirroring Jack's motions. "It- it is."

"Please just tell me what's going on, Jack." And at last, his normally monotone features showed a glint of desperation.

"It's the last shirt you wore." Another swig of beer landed itself in his mouth, quickly swallowing before continuing, "You wanna know why she's always so tired when you see her?"

"I'll give you a hint, it's not Lyme's." Finally, a light chuckle from his side, followed by a faint hum in affirmation. "She doesn't sleep when you're gone, dude."

Finally, the pair met eyes. A saddened shimmer in both their glances, Jack continued, "All the signs are there."

A nearly audible click in the genius blonde's head. "She's been having nightmares."

"She's been having nightmares." Jack affirmed for him once again, "Trust me, I know what they look like."

They shared a pause of breath, allowing themselves to take a deep breath simultaneously. How could he have been so stupid, of course, she was having nightmares. All the things she went through back in April, all those questions he was forced to leave unanswered. The exhaustion radiating from her pale skin, for weeks now. Jack was right, she had been sleeping in his shirts constantly, sometimes even once he was sure he had put in the laundry basket just hours before. "God, I should have known."

"There's nothing you could've done, Dream." Another sweet reassurance, one that didn't mean a whole lot to him right now.

"I could've known- I should've known." He abruptly pushed himself from his seat, leaving his emptied bottle by the pit. "She doesn't feel safe here."

"I don't think that's it, mate, I think she just feels unsafe anywhere." He followed his friend's face to where it was now stood next to him on the patio, peering up to try and meet his eyes. "Anywhere that's not with you, probably."

"She doesn't deserve any of this." Pacing slowly between the pit and the wall a few feet from him, the man was wrecking himself with guilt, already. Quickly, Jack intervened, noticing his friend's 'spiraling look' from miles away. "Hey! Hey, hey. No one deserves this alright?"

"She should've never been there.." Running a hair through his locks, Clay sat back down by the fire. His head now covered by his hands, leaning forward to hide his features entirely in guilt and perhaps shame, too.

"That," A gentle pat landed itself on his back by Jack as he used his other hand to finish off his beer. "That, I agree with you, pal."

Sheer terror painted her face that day, bound and gagged in some concrete box. In the movies, they always say how it was 'cold and eerie', and however ghostly the situation might have been, there was no cold in this room. Not a single cooling breeze, just pure and unfiltered heat. The concrete was entirely warmed up, too, the only thing that refreshed her even in the slightest was the chilling nature of her shackles, the ones that restrained her to the sticky leather chair she was stuck in.

She assumed it was leather, she had no real way of knowing. Her vision had been blocked by some kind of rag, a different texture to the one that was balled up in her mouth. The duct tape used to secure it in place was pulling at her skin, uncomfortably so.

So, with her hands bound, vision blocked and mouth gagged, there were but two senses left to her. Three, if you include the dooming shadow of possible death that loomed in her head. She'd do anything to just hear his voice right now, he'd know what to do.

Instead of his voice, there was a soft ticking in the room. More specifically, on her abdomen. A scorching hot box was tightened to her abdomen, burning the feeling of its ticking into her mind. She was sure there'd been no way this thing was actually that hot, but the idea of it being stuck to her, it killing her, was enough to leave scars on her stomach.

The other sense that was left unaltered, was her nose. Her sense of smell. Iron, mold, sweat. The last two were logical. She'd been locked in there for hours, in the absolute heat of southern America, there was no way she wasn't sweating up a storm. Mold, she was probably in a basement somewhere, her feet had given away the concrete flooring. But iron, iron wasn't something you usually smelt. Rust, maybe. But this was metallic, and it wasn't from her shackles. If it were, she'd have smelt it was before now.

The screeching of a metal pipe on the concrete walls shook her, the gag keeping her from letting out a loud squeal. Someone was in here with her, for the first time in hours, someone was in here with her. A few faint tuts, heavy footsteps carrying themselves around her perimeter.

A sharp blade running itself along her cheek, barely not breaking skin. "Tik, tok, tik, tok, tik tok."

She scrunched her eyes even tighter as a hand dropped onto her head. The single thing that brought her comfort right now was the fact that there was no way this lunatic would detonate the bomb on her abdomen while in the room with her. "Wonder what's taking him so long, aren't you?"

He stopped talking, his steps carrying him back to wherever he came from. However, his taunting continued in her head for the coming hours she was left to fend for her own. Tik, tok, tik, tok, tik tok.

What's taking him so long?

She struggled immensely against her restraints, abruptly having been awoken by cold hands on her sides. The man's hands hadn't ever been this cold before, they were horribly sweaty and warm, almost to a sticky extent. "Shhhh."

Familiarity washed over her body, her muscles almost instantly untightening at the sound of him. "You have to stay still for me, okay? I have to get this thing off you first."

"Dream, unblind the poor girl first, will ya?" Jack's mellow voice called out from a few feet beside her. The rag was gently pulled from eyes. His assuring tone filled her ears, his comforting face inches from hers. God, she'd never been this happy to see Jack. "There she is."

She tried desperately to get some words out, however, her mouth was still filled with cloth, and while hesitant, she knew there was probably a good reason they hadn't taken it off yet. "Water! Water, get her some water, she's gonna need it." Jack was quick to order one of the agents to get her something to drink, knowing the feeling very well, having been kidnapped a dozen times back in his day.

"It's connected to another device," Clay exclaimed from before her, his hands very carefully working around the wires connecting her to this bomb. For some reason, it had been scarier in her mind, when she hadn't been able to see it. Now, seeing it rest on her stomach didn't scare her nearly as much as the menacing ticking that had haunted her for so long. "Riley, do we know who's behind this?"

A faint hum from the wire in his ear, she couldn't decipher it. Meanwhile, Jack was rattling her shackles, trying to at least free her hands. However, according to her boyfriend, not a very good idea, "Don't!"

"What? You scared she'll strangle you?" A mocking choice of words from her dear friend, almost allowing her to chuckle. The drought in her throat, however, still wouldn't allow her to make a single peep. "No, Jack, taking off the chains would detonate this entire thing, like the gag."

Jack formed an 'o' with his mouth, shooting his eyes around the room in slight embarrassment, "Where's that water the lady ordered?"

For some reason, the minutes after they had found her felt impossibly longer than the hours she had spent alone. Nevertheless, after 24 minutes exactly, there was a breakthrough. His voice soft, gentle, Clay carefully removed his fingers from the device while simultaneously asking for Jack to put his back on."Okay, try again."

A loud snap and several clangs later, her hands were freed, eyes crunched in expectancy of death, it didn't seem to come. Hastily, she clawed at her mouth, only now realizing the rag had been encased in metal bars and colored wires. Dream carefully lifted the contraption from her face, immediately letting her fall into his arms sobbing.

And so, he let her cry. Bawl her eyes out, drown out the sheer terror she must've felt during these hours he had lost her. He ran his arms around her back, pulling her impossibly tight into his own torso. "You're okay, you're okay."

"I've got you, I've always got you."

The night following his conversation with Jack was the first night Clay had seen her cry since that day.

She sobbed into his arms as he assured her that she would always be safe, no matter where he was or what happened between them. He would always keep her safe.

The nightmares disappeared when she was with him because there had never been a doubt in her mind that she was safe when she was with him. She slept incomparably well the first days after every mission, because even if he wasn't in the bed next to her; she knew he was there. She slept well, because the smell of his shirt encased her every sense, rendering it impossible for her to not feel safe, with his cologne evident lingering through her sheets.

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escxpiism · 3 years

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( olivia holt, 23, she/her ) * hey, i’m looking for the office of ALICE ADAMS. they’re the EMPLOYEE who’s known around the office as THE MASK if that helps ? not to be a gossip, but i’ve heard that they’re ADAPTABLE but JADED, is that true ? i also heard that they’re the one who CATFISHED DAVID HASSELHOFF. anyways, here’s the coffee they ordered.

hi y’all !! i’m may ( 21 // est // she/her ) and i am super super pumped to be here !! i’m also very much writing this against my better judgment ya girl’s running on four hours of sleep and has the option to sleep more but......... is not tired ?? so i do apologize if my mind is secretly tired and makes this intro,,,, even worse than it would be fahouedn. on with the show !! anyway anyway!! feel free to like this if u wld like 2 plot and i will hit u up!!

( also, for some vibes if you so choose to read, here’s the link to her playlist ! )

----------------------------------------------------

QUICK FACTS:

full name: alice audrey adams

date of birth: october 26th, 1997

*will not perfectly reflect the zodiac big three below because that’s.... math.

zodiac big three: scorpio sun, virgo moon, taurus rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual

education: ged, bachelor’s degree in film — pratt institute

enneagram: 4w3

mbti: enfp

temperament: sanguine-melancholic

label: the mask

various inspirations: “nutshell” - alice in chains, “santa monica” - everclear, “polly” - nirvana, “jennifer’s body” - hole, “creep” - stone temple pilots, kate wallis ( cruel summer - shhhh ), heather davis ( crazy ex-girlfriend ), satana hellstrom ( marvel comics ), bojack horseman - without the amount of problematic ego ( bojack horseman ), eddie huang ( fresh off the boat ), the great britney spears evolution ( temporarily stopping at circus era )

BACKSTORY:

triggers in order: toxic family dynamic, grooming (nothing super in-depth), kidnapping (? like it was ‘willing’ but no. see next trigger for why), toxic “relationship” (and 11yr age gap w/ a 16y/o we hate it), straight-up captivity, very brief mention of suicide + heroin (very!)

*would like to quickly preface that this isn’t just Dark for the sake of being r/im14andthisisdeep but that’s for a later time **(also! i have markers for where the grooming + Super Dark parts begin and end! -- also, the Super Dark part is all very public knowledge. had articles. media frenzy. first thing that comes up if you google her name) *** also. if u need it then a tl;dr is below this section hfkldsa

alice audrey adams was born to the type of family that names all of their children alliterative names ( however, they sadly didn’t get their own kardashian-style show )... alexis adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... alfie allison adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... born to anna adams and allen adams... we hate it here.

as u can see... all of the kids were basically named after allen... they all had ‘al’ names.... extremely confusing

plot-twist: THAT’S the darkest part

the adams were very concerned with public image. as a family in the upper echelon, they simply had to be! a narcissist father, a distant mother, put in competition with her siblings — there was no truly healthy dynamic in the household. but they looked good. they went to church every sunday, a ‘wwjd’ sticker on the back of her mother’s car. they did just enough activities and took just enough trips together to get the image across. they threw parties. they attended parties. they were the picture perfect american family — they even had two cats in the yard! life used to be so hard!

of course, in reality, this all left ms alice quite the lonely gal. but don’t worry! she didn’t turn to hedonism! lord no! instead, she turned to other people. a lot of friendships — couldn’t tell if they were real or #fortheclout — but at a point, did it matter?

grooming tw: it all came to a screeching halt when she met luke johnson, the son of their neighbors. he came back from california to georgia to visit family, care for his ailing father. oh, he was a good man! sure, he was ‘somewhat’ older than her — 27 when she was 16 — but he was such a good, handsome young man! and they were all still calling him young man, after all.

alice ‘began’ a torrid affair with luke after about a month into his visit. although she saw no immediate wrong in it, he insisted she keep it a secret ‘for the time being’ — which really just made it all the more exciting! he made all the storm clouds that hovered disappear.

one day, the levee broke for alice (still figuring out what exactly happened because i don’t wanna go too dark since this is already extremely dark, but trust that it had something to do with her parents and was just enough to push her over the edge). convinced luke was the only safe person, she turned to him. knowing their small community would catch on and essentially exile him, he took that opportunity to convince her to go back to santa monica with him where they could ‘start anew’ after his father’s death.

there are a few details i plan on adding regarding like. how legality playing into it. but i may just reserve those for an official bio lhakfsdfj

**BEGINNING OF SUPER DARK** for a while, there was the question of whether they should consider it a kidnapping or not. she went with him willingly, but she was still underage (and… you know, that age difference… the power dynamic... gross y’all). the adams insisted that it was (bc it basically was lbr) — primarily because it would make them look far better — but the community still questioned the logistics and legalities of it all… ugh. did the police really wanna deal with that? ugh.

in any case, on the other side of us america, autumn was nearing. alice would have the very occasional inquiry over how school would work (very occasional! don’t worry, luke!), over the logistics of her new life… and, after receiving multiple calls from various friends (in addition to her siblings) that sounded genuine, began wondering… if she’d made the right choice. questions about him.

when she began bringing up the idea of going back — at least for the school year!! — he would continuously remind her that she was not old enough to buy herself a plane ticket (and he was not about to do that). she also couldn’t rent a car yet (and he certainly wouldn’t let her take (one of) his car(s)!). but most importantly? he loved her. and she loved him. (what a creep!)

so, for a hot second, it seemed like she was stuck. damn legalities!! damn love!! you know, until she texted her older sister back with all of the problems that only being 16... and “in love”.... caused. her sister offered to fly down, buy her a plane ticket, and fly back with her.

when luke saw this (with all the unrestricted access to her phone he had so he could block, delete, and manipulate as he pleased), he confronted her. things went awry. she wound up in his budding wine cellar (which he soon emptied, of course… those merlots :( ….). he messaged back and, as her, said it was actually all good!! luke had figured out the logistics and she could call whenever she wanted!!

and those calls became frequent! because she would pick up when luke held it up to her! because she was pretty sure luke would kill her if she didn’t!

she wasn’t sure how long it was until she was officially Found. it took what was ruled a suicide by luke, a shot to the head and heroin in his system, to finally get any authority’s attention. all she knew was that she went to santa monica in mid june and she stopped seeing regular daylight by late july. so some time in august to some time in april… **END OF SUPER DARK + GROOMING**

she was returned to georgia shortly after and everything was different. from herself to her friends. but everything was also the same. from her room to her family. it was all… teasing. she began going to therapy, but she really sucked at it?? so she just let her therapist rely on various articles that covered the event. because it had been a media circus. good enough, amirite??

she didn’t have the will or patience to put on that peppy facade she’d had before, but there were still a few things she found a smidge of joy in. music (although her taste had… slightly altered and wow! it’d been almost a year since she’d picked up that bass!), videography… just those small things, you know??

for the first half of the ~ 2014 fall semester ~, she attempted actual school. really was not working out. with, for probably the first and only time, her parents’ approval and understanding, she dropped out and studied for a ged -- shorter and self-led -- instead.

she passed with a pretty decent grade... but it’s been argued that she really shouldn’t have gotten into pratt institute (she was at least realistic and didn’t apply to, like… cornell), but she did. national news helps.

while in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, she learned of masters. she submitted an application as a joke — because her grades sucked!!!!! — but guess who got a job?? oh, she could pretend it was because her selected portfolio was actually genuinely good… but, man… we all know…

fun fact: my uncle applied to harvard as a joke. some twenty-five years later, we still haven’t heard back :\

she… continues to suck. like… she kinda wants the place to eventually burn down?? figuratively speaking (or is it…) but ya, for all the monopolizing she has seen turn people Evil?? but the hell can she do about it… just gotta make sure she keeps her in-house videographer job… maybe she can do something about it when she like… is capable. fuaihoelwdjkn

she sees an in-house therapist and i’d say ‘good for her,’ but it was mandated l m a o

doesn’t talk about herself all that much!! but that might not matter for some people, yk?? ugh journalism <3

y’all im so bad at ending intros.

TL;DR:

(consult above trigger list): bright kid in a super rich and toxic family because obviously. everything they did was just to look good <3 also they all had ‘a’ names which is the biggest tragedy of all :( ‘fell in love’ when she was 16ys/o with a 27y/o who was visiting to care for his father in his final days. had a torrid affair. creep. creep (luke) basically made her ‘fall in love.’ she thought creep was the only safe person at one point and creep was like ‘wanna go back 2 santa monica w me?’ and she was like ‘yes.’ and everyone was like ‘was this kidnapping... we cant tell....’ then he became even more possessive when she started questioning him and some logistics. when she finally found a way she could go back to georgia for a spell, he was like ‘no u can go in my wine cellar btw i will be taking all of the wine out.’ he kept her there from august to april and... only reason he didnt keep keeping her was bc he was Caught so. back to georgia where the devil went down. everything was Worse. even the things that were the same. but hey, the sob story that landed her in the news plenty of times got her into a college she shouldn’t have gotten into and gave her a leg-up in a joke application for a job at masters (in-house videographer). really bad at doing her work but like... fuck the man i guess??

PERSONALITY + HEADCANONS:

has no time for Fake Nice (which, as a born southerner, she’s really good at sniffing out!). has no time for arrogance. kind of makes her at odds with the nyc upper class...

on that note, still got a lil bit of some georgia twang

she lets herself indulge in various vices, but has left a previous hedonist status. weed and alcohol are still pretty common, but everything else is kept at arm’s length.

also, while on that topic, she Does Not drink wine. being trapped in a cellar... kinda makes u averse. like. literally despises it. will go on autopilot and make it KNOWN if offered wine.

also ALSO while on that topic, after looking it up and seeing she fits the new york city requirements, she has a medical marijuana card <3 the one good thing, if u ask her, to come out of therapy/psychiatry <3 will not show it off unless absolutely NECESSARY bc then it gets personal or <3 will lie about why and say it’s like for epilepsy or sumn unless ur rolfe but <3 she has it <3

at odds with herself. enjoys the company of others, definitely has a history of being an extrovert, but has become very selective with the company she keeps.

VERY private person! has had enough public standing!

...has occasionally used her story to advance her tho bc it’s her national newsworthy tragic story and she can exploit it if she wants <3

when good charlotte said “i don’t wanna be in love”?? she felt that. her last ‘relationship’ ruined that for her <3 save her <3

used to be really into pop! bc pop is fun! she loved some britney (i mean... she still does... how can u not!)! but. her taste has changed drastically. rarely listens to pop. has traded britney for like.... hole and the like.

her parents didn’t use this as the basis for her name but,, 2 me,,, she’s named alice for a reason <3 gotta luv alice in chains <3

y’all i found a youtube comment on a video called ‘nirvana - half the man i used to be’ (the song was, in fact, ‘creep’ by stone temple pilots) and it’s <3 her music taste <3 click here for it <3

the above said, dresses like she’s in seattle in the early 90s.

her rumor is true btw she DID catfish david hasselhoff and she will proudly tell u. it’s her best accomplishment.

completely stopped talking to her parents and got cut-off a while back ago so now she’s livin like the Prols

which is how a rich kid one of my profs once advised referred to his classmates.... hilarity ensues.

the above in mind, her parents say she’s testing the waters as a ‘normal person’ to save face. they can’t have anyone knowing their family isn’t perfect <3

she has a pet turtle whom she named “dr. turtle,” although he’s constantly referred to as “doc” or “the doc.” he has his own youtube channel and tiktok account.

she has a wall full of evidence that courtney love did not kill kurt cobain... it makes sense, believe me.

became a vegetarian...... partially because it was different from her original life and a way to control something, partially because this commercial made her feel SO BAD.

literally her default mode is stoned like... a totally sober alice is rarer than a nessie sighting

when she was 18, before she could ‘hold her liquor’ as well as she can now, she got a lil too drunk and now has a portrait tattoo of courtney love on her forearm. but it was done well at least!!

kind of ironic considering her career, but RARELY posts on any social media site except twitter. after the media circus in 2014 and All Eyes On Her, she’s just..... so tired...... of ppl seeing her face and being like ‘omg ur that wine cellar bitch!’

(drugs tw) has become more and more Addicted to playing around with fate. j chill on a ledge, talkin to some pals, but deciding it’s a good idea to swing her legs on the wrong side of ledge? totally! mixing a lot of alcohol with opioids which she is not accustomed to? DEF!! (end tw)

more to come!!

CONNECTION IDEAS:

i have two (2) queued up!! but while we wait for them to post, i’ll just… link them over here: 1, 2

muse u <3 the other half of her subplot from the main <3

her older sister!

her younger sibling!

some of the basics!! you know: close pal, roommate, drug buddies (but she gotta hit them up), fwb, ons, frenemies, enemy

ppl who recognize her from the 2014 luke johnson articles and have either brought it up or,,,,,,, act Awkward™

cld be fun 2 just have like. a jam bud. someone who plays any instrument and they j. jam sometimes.

ppl she sells. some of her medical marijuana to. bc yk what weed may be legal in nyc now but,,,, she’s still found a way to be broke she will accept anything. and also it just became legalized THIS YEAR so!!

i have a budding wc page @ https://escxpiism.tumblr.com/wcs (and when i say budding, i MEAN budding) so feel free 2 check it out!!

more to come!!

#masters.intro #alice | intro !#this took me like....... 2hrs 2 write so i do indeed think my mind is fooling me and actually lagging behind.

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flyinghome-againstthewind · 3 years

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the best by far is you: chapter 13

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Previous Chapter

For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you - Cecilia and the satellite

————

Summary: An exploration of Claire & Jamie’s story if their firstborn had lived and they had the chance to be parents together of wee Faith Fraser before the Battle of Culloden.

Chapter 13

April 16, 1746

Jamie watched, disbelieving, as Faith tumbled seemingly from mid-air and landed at the foot of the stone, unleashing a scream at the top of her lungs as though she’d been hurt.

His body reacted before his mind could catch up, gathering Faith into his arms at once to try and calm her. His heart beat erratically in his chest. Even as he held her, he didn’t want to believe it to be true.

It hadn’t worked. Faith couldn’t travel through the stones.

Cumberland’s troops would ravage the Highlands as Claire had said, flocking out from the very battlefield Jamie had stupidly brought his child to. Oh god, his child… with her bright burn of red hair that matched his own. He was a dead man... and she was indisputably his own if they were found together.

He let out an unearthly howl at the stone, clutching Faith tightly to him. She should be two hundred years away from him now, in the safety of Claire’s embrace. “Ye were supposed to take her!” He screamed, his eyes boring into the rock. Why hadn’t it worked?

Faith shrieked at the top of her lungs, a painful pitch that rattled Jamie’s brain in his skull. She kicked her legs frantically against him and pushed on his chest to try and get away, which only made his grip on her tighten.

“I’m sorry. Oh God. Mo chridhe, I’m sorry. Tha thu sàbhailte,” Jamie murmured.

And then he heard it.

The scuffle of soldiers nearby and British voices approaching them.

“Faith,” he whispered sharply, feeling as though his heart was going to jump right out of his chest. “Shhhh, mo chridhe, please.” His hand slipped over Faith’s wee mouth, careful not to block her nose, while he strode to the other side of the stones, away from the direction he and Claire had come from.

They would’ve seen his horse, undoubtedly.

Faith’s screams dropped to a pitiful whimper against his hand and when he glanced down, he saw her eyes were wide with fear. “Christ, I’m sorry, lass.”

“--heard a child, sounded like from up there.”

There wasn’t time to think, only to act.

He slipped around the farthest stone to stand just outside the stone circle and crouched down to set Faith there in the grass. “Mo chridhe, ye canna leave this spot and ye canna make a sound. Not until I fetch ye. D’ye understand? Stay put and stay quiet.”

Wide, unblinking eyes stared up at him. Faith was silent, but like the calm before a storm, like she could break out in screams again at any moment.

There wasn’t time for anything else, though. He could hear the men approaching and he had to leave Faith there in the hope that she would listen. Jamie crossed to the stone directly opposite where he’d hid Faith and pressed his back against it, facing the center. He drew his sword slowly, being careful to contain the sound. From what he could tell, there weren’t many men approaching ‒ two, maybe three soldiers by the sound of it ‒ but whether they were patrolling or deserting, they weren’t likely to show mercy to him either way. Especially if they recognized him.

He was poised and ready, keeping his breathing steady even while his heartbeat thrummed in his ears. One was close, approaching from the other side of the stone he stood against.

Movement ahead of him caught his eye and he stood transfixed as Faith braced her palms on the grass just beyond the edge of the stone and leaned her head around to look back at him.

No.

Panic flooded his veins. She met his gaze and he shook his head abruptly in warning. Her eyes flickered over somewhere beyond him and his blood ran cold.

“Christ, there is a baby up here.”

A voice, just a few steps behind him. Faith retreated back behind the stone with a small cry, but it was too late.

She was spotted. And they were out of time.

The first man to walk past the stone hadn’t even seen him coming. Jamie struck the side of his head hard and fast with the butt of his sword and watched the man drop like a stone. One man down.

He turned and advanced on the other soldier, who had in his haste not bothered with his musket and instead drew his sword.

“What the devil are you playing at?” The man spat, and Jamie considered for a moment what a strange thing this was to happen upon, a Highlander warrior and a small child on a desolate hill. “Wait, you’re‒”

The moment turned into a clash of steel, no longer having the luxury of considering anything other than that he had been recognized and he was the only thing standing between this enemy and his child.

The struggle to overpower the other was brief, fueled by the protective fury of a parent whose child was in danger. Jamie came away from the fight alive ‒ victorious ‒ because he had to be. There was no alternative for him.

The second soldier lay sprawled in the grass, partway down the hill, his eyes open but unfocused.

Jamie wiped the blood from his sword before sheathing it. When he looked towards the stone where Faith hid, there was no sign of her watching, no sound from her anymore. He swallowed roughly and moved on suddenly shaky legs towards where he’d left her. “It’s me, mo chridhe,” he called out softly just before he reached the stone.

She was sitting up against the stone and flinched when he came into sight.

He dropped slowly to one knee before her and fought the overwhelming urge to grab her and run. “Ye did good, lass,” he murmured. “I ken you’re scared but we’re safe.” For now, he thought. “And I will keep you safe. But we have to go.”

He held his hands open to the small child. “C’mon. We have to get away from here.”

The sounds from a not-so-distant battlefield still thundered in the air and it felt like an eternity that Jamie waited until Faith raised her arms up toward him, giving him permission. He picked her up and stood, holding her tight for one moment with the back of her head cupped in his hand. The panic that had risen from their encounter with the British soldiers finally began to dissipate as he felt her little arms twine around his neck. God… they were alright.

“We have to go,” he repeated, and turned to press a kiss to the side of Faith’s head.

But go where?

He’d had days to fine tune the plan that had been brewing in his mind over the course of this war. A final failsafe if they couldn’t avoid Culloden. And everything went according to plan except for Faith, unraveling the final part completely.

He turned and began to walk back toward his horse, keeping Faith carefully shielded from seeing the bodies of the two men, when he noticed his plaid there in the grass near the center stone.

Claire.

It was his plaid, but more often than not, it had been wrapped around her shoulders for added warmth. It must’ve fallen at some point during their goodbye.

He crouched down and grabbed it, holding it tight to his chest with his free arm. Faith’s head lifted off his shoulder and looked at him curiously. He realized then that he had been inhaling the scent of it, the faint lingering smell of Claire still on it.

“Here,” he said gently, tucking part of it under her arm. “It’s soft and it’ll keep you warm.”

For the first time since he’d seen Faith again, the tension between her eyebrows relaxed and her fingers began to play with the fabric of his plaid. “There ye go.”

He made his way down the hill toward Donas, eyes scanning for any other signs of movement. But besides their chance encounter with those soldiers, they were entirely alone.

Once at the foot of the hill, he wrapped his plaid around his chest, leaving room for Faith to sit comfortably in the cocoon it made for her. With her secured, he swung up carefully onto Donas and glanced down to check that Faith was alright. Her head was pillowed against his chest, and she stared out at their surroundings. Though he was sure she was still terrified from the recent events up on that hill, she’d fallen silent once more.

He checked again that the plaid was holding her securely so that his hands were free to hold the reigns. Then he kicked his heels into the horse’s sides and urged him forward at a brisk pace, a direction already in mind. The Highlands would be no place for the child of Red Jamie, that he knew. He’d considered turning towards Lallybroch, towards where his men were surely marching, but only for a brief moment. Nae, he’d ruled out anywhere that was familiar to him for the sake of his child’s safety. The Highlands would be crawling with British soldiers ‒ and for years to come, if Claire was correct.

There was an eerie calmness around them as he rode away from Craigh na Dun and away from Culloden. Taking that in, Jamie felt assured in his belief that the Lallybroch Frasers would be able to slip away undetected and head home. For the moment, the epicenter of conflict was Culloden Moor and he was keenly aware of his own brief window of time to move about undetected.

He would head for Inverness first and gather supplies. Plot his next course. Move south from there.

A thought came to mind then of a potential ally residing in town. He turned the thought over in his mind as they rode. Yes… that could be beneficial.

As they approached the town of Inverness, he slowed the horse’s pace, keeping an eye out for Redcoats or any other apparent threat. But while the chaos of war was raging not far from this place, the remaining inhabitants of Inverness were only those uninvolved in the fighting.

He dismounted and tied Donas to a post before unbundling Faith and shifting her weight to the crook of his arm.

Despite how sparsely populated the town seemed to be, Jamie still hurried inside with Faith, wanting to limit their exposure. They slipped through the quiet hall and up the stairs, pausing in front of a door.

He pounded on the door and waited, hearing the sure sounds of someone stirring on the other side. The door swung open and he met the gaze of one wide-eyed Mary Hawkins Randall.

“Please let us in. I need yer help.”

“I don’t understand. Where’s Claire?” Mary interrupted his poor attempt at filling her in on the situation with the one question that landed like a punch in the gut. Mary looked puzzled and too distracted by the fact that if he was here with his child, his wife should be here with them.

He inhaled sharply, his mind grappling for the words. He hadn’t said it out loud yet, hadn’t allowed himself to dwell on it when Faith’s life was in danger. “She’s�� she’s gone.”

“Gone?” Mary’s voice rose to a high-pitched whisper. Her hand covered her mouth as his meaning took root. She shook her head at him, tears glistening in her eyes.

Aye, for those Claire left behind, she was lost to them forever.

Faced with Mary’s display of shocked grief, he felt suddenly that the air in the room was too stifling, that the room was too small somehow. He rose from his chair, needing to move ‒ as if that might keep the grief from touching him as it did Mary.

“I‒ I can’t believe it. Sh‒she‒she can’t be gone,” Mary sputtered before dropping her head into her hands and crying softly.

He turned and watched her before his gaze swung curiously over to Faith where she had sequestered herself with Mary’s hairbrush and comb and was busy playing with her own hair. Faith paused at the sound and looked towards Mary, her eyes round with concern. Brows furrowed together again.

Moved by the need to set Faith’s young mind at ease, he went for a glass and poured a bit of wine for Mary. She looked up when he approached and accepted it gratefully, and he took a deep breath before he dove into the reason he was here.

“Ye must’ve seen the broadsheets by now. Ye ken I’m wanted by the British crown for treason. So I canna turn back home. I intend to flee, but the less my face is seen around here, the better. I ken people here are no’ too loyal to the British crown, but times are hard and that reward money is verra tempting. Now I’ll need some supplies before Faith and I can leave, but it would help us greatly if you could gather those for us.”

He waited, but Mary’s gaze stared through the floor, her expression pinched with emotion, and didn’t immediately respond.

“Could ye help us, Mary?” he asked gently.

She nodded, looking away as she wiped at a tear that spilled quietly down her cheek. “Yes, I‒” He noticed that her hands were clasped so tightly around the glass of wine that her knuckles were bone white. “I can help.”

With Mary running out for him to gather a few items, he found parchment and a quill and quickly began to write a letter for home. They would think he had died, if Murtagh shared his plan with them, which Jamie was quite sure he would. And they would think Claire and Faith were both gone, even if they didn’t know the details. But if the British realized he wasn’t numbered among the casualties of Culloden, then they would go stirring up trouble at Lallybroch and Jamie wanted the chance to set the record straight.

At least… as best he could, with what he could share.

He also couldn’t count it outside the realm of possibility that the letter might be intercepted before it reached its destination, and so he sat quietly for a while, puzzling out his message.

At length, he began to write, his words scratched onto the parchment in a mix of French and Gaelic as he tried to assure his family that he was alive through coded phrases.

Tha mo sorcha air falbhm, he wrote. And then stilled in his progress. Read the words back over and inhaled sharply as the finality of his words hit him.

My light is gone.

He could at that moment hear something clatter to the floor as Faith unabashedly explored Mary’s rented room. A timely reminder that he wasn’t alone, that there was one very important reason for why he wasn’t bleeding out on a battlefield right about now.

Mais j'ai toujours la foi, he added. But I still have faith.

Jamie finished the letter, including his recommendation at the end that Jenny should burn the letter after it was read. He folded up and sealed the letter and then rose from the small desk to find Faith had managed to unlatch Mary’s trunk. She held it open above her head with one hand while the other dug through Mary’s dresses.

“A leannan, leave Mary’s things alone,” he chided gently.

“No.”

His brows shot to his hairline, but Faith didn’t even check to see how her refusal was accepted. She grunted suddenly, but he realized it was not in response to him, but due to her struggle to keep the trunk open while only having one hand to explore the treasures within.

“I can see that lid is heavy, lass. Ye’ll hurt yerself if ye’re no’ careful.”

“I careful.” Her words also came out in a grunt.

Jamie sighed, reminded once more exactly whose child she was.

He crossed quickly to where she stood and grabbed hold of the lid. “Faith,” he called to her softly, waiting until her eyes met his. “Would ye like to come wi’ me…” he flashed the letter with its bright red wax seal, “and help me deliver this?”

Faith stepped forward, hands outstretched for the letter, and Jamie grinned triumphantly.

When Mary returned, Jamie had already arranged a room for him and Faith for the night and left the letter with the proprietor of the boarding house ‒ the man had already seen him and Faith upon entering the building so it hadn’t seemed an added risk to take.

Jamie helped Mary with the bundles and listened as she summarized what she’d been able to obtain from his list. Most importantly had been a change of clothes for him that wasn’t his Fraser kilt and plaid. Mary had been able to find enough ready made that looked as though it would fit well enough, and a few items for Faith as well. Since it wasn’t much altogether for both him and Faith, Mary had purchased some fabric, too.

Jamie smiled tightly at this, wondering if she understood that it would be just him and Faith on the run and there wouldn’t be much time for making clothing. Well, it had been a nice thought on Mary’s part.

“And I found this…” Mary unraveled a small, hooded cloak and held it out to Jamie. “Looked to be about Faith’s size.”

He took the garment from her, rubbing over the soft fabric with his thumbs. It was a soft brown color and the cloth was heavy and warm. The hood, he noted, could help obscure her red hair. “Faith, come see what Mistress Mary bought ye.”

Curious, Faith wandered over and her eyes lit up when she saw the cloak. Jamie fastened it around her shoulders when she drew near and lifted the hood up over her wee head. She peered up at him from under the hood, bright blue eyes dancing with joy. She looked remarkably like Claire when she was happy ‒ and that thought came to Jamie with a bittersweet sting.

Faith’s hands came up to touch the top of the hood and she smiled. “Mine!” She crowed suddenly and raced away to the other side of the room.

Jamie huffed in surprise, his eyebrows raised. He looked sideways at Mary and offered reluctantly, “She, uh, she has two wee cousins near her age ‒ both lassies. She’s used to anything and everything being fair game among them, I suppose.”

“It’s alright.”

Mary handed over the last parcel, smaller than the others.

“Ye were able to find everything?”

“Yes, it’s all there.” She stared at him dubiously for a moment. “And you’re sure it’ll work?”

“Weel, I’ve never tried it, but I did listen to my wife when she described the wonders of certain plants to naturally dye yer hair.” He looked to Faith where she was twirling in her cape, making the edges flair out. “And the best chance we have is to make Red Jamie not so recognizable, aye? So it’s worth trying.”

“And what about Faith? Will you‒”

“No,” Jamie said quickly, his gaze still glued to his child. “No, we have bonnets she can wear now, but I canna…” He wasn’t sure he could put it into words, the wrongness that he felt at the thought of dyeing Faith’s hair. She was… she was something that came from him and Claire, perfect in that combination that made her uniquely Faith and also completely theirs. Made from their flesh and bone. And Claire had loved her red hair… he couldn’t stomach the thought of trying to alter Faith in that way.

They worked quickly to prepare the dye and then Mary helped him apply it to his hair.

“How long does it last?” She asked as she worked.

“Dinna ken. I’ll bring what’s left with us and will likely have to restock as we go.”

He looked over to see Faith watching them curiously as he transformed his hair from red to black. He smiled at her, but she only cocked her head to the side in response.

The time spent here while Mary had run out for them had been much needed. It allowed Jamie to think ahead, plan their next steps, and anticipate the risks. And in that time, an idea had taken shape. “Mary,” he began, unable to see her where she stood behind him. “How long do ye intend to stay here?”

“Oh,” she said softly, like she hadn’t really considered the question before he asked it. Perhaps she hadn’t. Her beloved had died only a few days ago, he reminded himself. “Well, I‒ I suppose that depends on… John.” There was an odd waver to her voice when she said his name, and he wondered if there had been any further interaction between the two after poor Mary had been tied to him in marriage, only to watch the man turn around and beat her dead lover.

Jamie took a deep breath. He felt an odd sense of duty towards Mary. Though Murtagh laid vengeance at her feet for what happened in Paris, it seemed as though the poor girl had endured more pain and bad luck than was owed to one so young ‒ and many of those challenges could be tied back to the time they were all in Paris. “I dinna ken how to tell ye this, Mary, but I didna want ye to have to wait on this news.”

He felt her hands still over his hair. “What are you talking about? What news?”

“About yer husband.” He twisted in his chair to look back at her. Claire had told him over and over of Randall’s death at Culloden. If they truly couldn’t change the outcome of the war, it stood to reason that by now, Randall was already dead. But he couldn’t exactly explain how he knew that to Mary. “He rejoined his regiment after Alex’s death, aye?” Mary nodded. “There was an accident this morning. A musket that was fired unintendedly within the camp. Randall was struck… he didna survive. The army will likely attribute his death to the battle to cover the accident.”

Mary was white as a ghost, dumbfounded and silent.

“Do ye understand, Mary? He’s gone.”

He canna hurt ye now.

Her brows furrowed together and she sucked in a deep breath. “H-h-he’s gone,” she repeated.

Jamie thought he saw a flicker of relief on her face before she turned her gaze curiously back to him.

“How do you know this?”

“Word spreads quickly in a war,” he said evenly. “Especially when a captain is struck down by one of his own. It might be some time before the army informs kin of their losses though, so I thought ye deserved to know, seeing how this changes things for ye.”

“Changes things?”

“As Randall’s widow, ye are entitled to some things ‒ his officer’s pension for one ‒ so ye’re not without a means to get by. But ye also have no cause to stay in Inverness, away from everyone ye know.”

“I… I could go home.”

“Aye, ye could.” He watched her closely as the news settled in. She seemed to warm to the idea of going home ‒ or perhaps simply leaving this place. “I have a proposition for ye, though. Faith and I will be traveling south to Edinburgh.”

“B-but Edinburgh is‒”

“Aye. The British overtook it months ago. No doubt they still have troops there to hold it. But if I recall, ye have some family there, do ye no’?”

“Yes. An aunt. But‒”

“Travel with us to Edinburgh. I will escort ye there safely and deliver ye to yer aunt. In return, yer presence with us makes us less conspicuous. No one will bat an eye at a young couple wi’ a child.”

Mary breathed in slowly, seeming to consider this. “It still seems an awful risk to you.”

“Anywhere I go from here is a risk.”

“You won’t stay in Edinburgh, surely?”

“No. But it’s a large city and much easier to hide in a well-populated place like that. We’ll lay low, wait for the ports to open back up.” Jamie smiled ruefully. “And then at first chance… I’m getting my daughter out of Scotland.”

“Where will you go?”

“Doesna really matter to me where we end up. I only want Faith to be able to grow up without threat to her safety just because she’s mine. And… and without her mother to care for her, I’ll be damned if she loses her father, too.”

Mary glanced over to where Faith sat quietly playing, still wearing her cloak. “I’ll go with you to Edinburgh,” she said at last. Her gaze swung back to Jamie and she smiled sadly as she added, “For Claire.”

With his distinct red hair successfully colored black and arrangements made for Mary to join them in the morning for their departure, Jamie and Faith gathered their things from Mary’s room and retreated to their own.

He watched Faith’s sluggish steps beside him and determined that the first thing he would do tonight was get wee Faith ready for bed.

Though she had seemed to take much of the day in stride since arriving at the boarding house, her eyes grew wide when Jamie mentioned sleep.

“Auntie Jenny?” Faith asked him, her voice rising to a pitch that told him tears would soon follow.

He stood there mutely, not wanting to answer her. What could he say to make her understand? They were far from home and couldn’t go back.

“She’s no’ here, a leannan. Tis only me.”

“My Maggie?” She pleaded hopefully.

Regret sliced through him, swift and painful. He hadn’t meant to cause her harm like this. “No, lass. I’m sorry.”

Like a burst in a dam, Faith’s screams were sudden and forceful. She backed herself against the side of the bed, away from Jamie.

He took a few steps toward her, intent on trying to soothe her the way he always had when she was a bairn, but Faith’s cries rose in pitch and volume when he moved closer. He froze, watching helplessly as tears poured down his daughter’s flushed face.

“No!” She screamed at him, bracing herself against the side of the bed. Her next words came out in a rush, blending with her loud cry, but he didn’t need to understand her to know that she wanted her Auntie Jenny, wanted to be at home. He kept the distance between them, but squatted down to her level.

“Faith…”

The word had barely left his mouth when Faith quickly scaled the bed and launched herself face down into the bedding. Her cries were muffled into the blankets as she stayed there, stretched out in a prone position in the center of the bed, but she continued to wail and scream to the point that Jamie was scared to go near her, lest he upset her further.

So instead, he retreated to a chair and sat with his elbows resting on his knees, his fingers interlaced together and bracing against his chin, and listened as Faith’s muffled sobs continued to fill the room.

He wanted nothing more than to go to her, but he’d resigned himself to the fact that he was a stranger to her, responsible for her being plucked from her home and the loved ones that she knew.

His hands scrubbed over his face before he leaned back in his chair, his gaze resting on Faith. They were safe at the moment. He’d managed to get her away from Culloden unscathed and keep his promise of safety.

But he had no earthly idea how to help her now.

He felt as unsure of himself as he had when he came back from the Bastille and found out his child had survived and lived three months without him. He’d felt like an intruder on her life then, already so bonded with Claire…

Oh God… Claire.

She would’ve known exactly how to reach Faith. Was it only that morning when he’d watched the two of them together? Had seen how even with the months apart from her, caring for Faith seemed as natural to Claire as breathing?

It had taken every ounce of strength to push thoughts of Claire out of his head today, to not dwell on the implications of what happened at the stones. There were a few times it had struck him that she was truly gone, but each time, he pushed it down. Because there was Faith to focus on and to protect, and their future to plan for.

But now… seeing his wee child in agony, he could hardly bear the weight of it all. Faith should be two hundred years away from this time, in the comfort of her mother’s embrace, in a place where she would be safe. He recalled how she had looked earlier, her wee face peering out at him from the other side of the stone this morning, and dropped his face into his hands.

She could’ve been killed…

Lord, it was all wrong. A cold, dank feeling settled around his heart at the thought of what this meant for Claire. He hadn’t allowed himself to imagine what she must be feeling, arriving back in her time without their girl.

A sob tore from his throat, and he gasped painfully for his next breath. How many times in the last several months had he held his wife in a poor attempt to soothe her empty arms? And now he’d sent her away from Faith forever. Though it hadn’t been his intention, he couldn’t think of a single other act of cruelty towards Claire that would measure up to the magnitude of what he’d done.

“Oh God, I’m sorry,” he cried out, feeling a wrenching pain in his chest. “I’m so sorry, Claire!”

He must’ve been louder than he thought because he drew Faith’s attention. She turned her head to the side, still sobbing, and her gaze sought him out. He locked eyes with her and felt something tumble in his chest. Faith looked distraught and confused, and the urge to hold her came back with riotous force.

And he thought of how ashamed Claire might be if she knew he was sitting with his guilt instead of holding their child, squandering the time with Faith that Claire didn’t have.

His next breath was shaky. He wiped at his face as he rose to his feet and approached the bed. Faith didn’t move or react this time and he slid his hands under her shoulders to lift her off the bed. Her crying didn’t cease in the transfer, but she did curl in at his neck in a way that made him think she wasn’t so sorry to be stuck with him after all.

“There, m'annsachd. Shhhh…”

Her cries became more rhythmic, interrupted like clockwork by hiccuping gasps to force herself to breath in. She was winding down, at least. He spoke gently over her in Gaelic, knowing it was what she would’ve heard at home with Jenny and Ian. Something familiar and comforting, he hoped.

He wasn’t sure how long he paced the short confines of their room with her. She had grown considerably since the last time he’d done this, but there was something inexplicably comforting for him when he felt her fingers curl around his shirt collar and hold on, the same thing she used to do as a wee babe. “I do love ye, Faith.” He rested his cheek against the top of her head. “So much… it feels like my heart could burst open from it.”

Faith’s cries had waned to half-hearted whimpers that only surged in volume when he shifted her weight to his other arm. She doesna want me to put her down, he realized.

“Dinna fash, a leannan,” he crooned. “I’m here. I’ve got ye.”

He felt her heave a sigh against his neck and it triggered his own, releasing some of the night’s tension from his body. “I’m so sorry, lass. God, am I ever sorry…” The words slipped out on the heels of his sigh, so quick he barely registered that he’d spoken them aloud to her. But once formed, the words opened up the cavernous well of apology and regret inside him, and he had the sudden need to unburden himself. Even if she didn’t understand the weight of what had happened, the extent of the loss he’d caused her.

“I- I broke my promise to ye. And that is unforgivable. I swore that I would see yer mam safely returned to ye and instead I’ve… I’ve split ye apart. Christ. A leannan, she loves ye so much ‒ more than her own life ‒ and ye have no idea. I’ve deprived ye of that. I canna begin to say how sorry I am. How ashamed I am.” Tears were spilling quickly down his face, but he managed to go on speaking, his voice husky with emotion. “I dinna think I can live wi’out her. She… she was my heart.” His hand moved in slow circles along Faith’s back and realized suddenly that she’d fallen quiet ‒ not asleep, but no longer crying or whimpering.

“But I will live every day keeping you safe from harm and… and reminding ye that ye had the most wonderful mother. That is my new promise to you. That is what I owe to Claire. I will tell ye everything about her, so ye can know her in some small way. ” He turned and pressed a kiss to her temple and then felt the gentle pat of her hand on his cheek in response. He exhaled a smile. “Still such a sweet wee thing. I ken ye’re scared and lost and I dinna blame ye a bit. But we’ll be alright. Dinna fash yerself, a leannan. Lay yer head and rest. I’ll guard ye while ye dream.”

Lord, that I might be enough… and oh Lord, that they would be safe, Claire and the child…

#outlander fic #OL fic #jamie x claire #faith fraser #outlander #tbbfiy #the best by far is you #my fic

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