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rebeccccccaaa · 3 years

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ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ _____________________

ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ’s!ʙᴇsᴛ!ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ!ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs ᴀᴜ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: You and Buck have always been close growing up but you two soon learn that the line that separates friendly and flirting is a lot thinner than you think.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: fluff, slight angst bc u got a shit bf, big bro vibes from bucky, smut duh [18+ minors dni (slight praise but also slight degradation, marking, belly bulge, squirting, fem!rec oral, unprotected sex, plz be safe irl, slight choking, pet names: darling&princess, i think that’s it lmk plz)]

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: hey assholes i'm back for the time being lol. I have a few ideas and fics I'm currently writing right now so do not fret.

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You knew this was a horrible idea.

It’s Saturday night and you and your boyfriend were back in another night club after being kicked out from one just hours before. Daniel had gotten too drunk, as he always does, causing you to kindly ask the bartender to cut him off. Daniel didn’t take that too lightly resulting in a gnarly swing at the poor guy just doing his job.

Security threw you out and Daniel called an Uber to go where you thought was going to be your apartment but twenty minutes later you pulled up to another club practically on the other side of town. You yelled at Daniel but he pushed aside stumbling inside for yet even more drinks and mistakes waiting for him inside.

You sat at the bar simply drinking some water and snacking on some peanuts keeping your eye on your garbage boyfriend. You're constantly checking the time on your phone, annoyed with every passing minute. It was 2 am and you just wanted to go home and sleep. You were even debating texting your brother Steve hoping you could just crash at his place not too far from where you were but it would be incredibly irresponsible to just leave Daniel in the state he’s in.

So you waited and waited and waited. Your eyelids felt heavy and your energy was just completely drained. You were basically a zombie. It wasn’t until a guy approached your half asleep body that you felt a sense of alert. Daniel was shit-faced so you were practically defenseless.

“Hey,” the guy shouted over the music.

“Sorry, I’m not interested. My boyfriend’s-” you quickly said, only to be cut off.

“Don’t worry. I’m not gonna hit on you. I’ve got a boyfriend of my own,” he chuckled, making you breathe out in relief.

“Sorry,” you cringed at yourself.

“It’s alright; but uh, I hate to be the one to tell you this. You might want to check with your boyfriend,” he said sympathetically.

You pushed your way through the crowd scanning every face in search of Daniel. What did he do? Is he hurt? Did he get in trouble again? Is he getting arrested? Where is he-

“Daniel?” you said eyes tearing up a bit.

His arms were wrapped around another girl’s waist as he kissed her the way he kissed you. She practically moaned as their tongues slobbered disgustingly with each other. Their hips grinding against each other proactively as if you weren’t even there. Sadness turned to anger, and anger turned to rage, gripping Daniel’s short hairs and pulling his head away from whoever this girl was.

“What the fuck?” the girl complained, her eyes completely bloodshot.

“Did he tell you that he was here with his girlfriend tonight?” you're sad with gritted teeth. Daniel stumbled around still unable to register what the hell was happening.

“Oh my god, you forreal?” she said.

“Who fucking cares? She’s a prude anyway. I got more action with you than I did her in the past, what, six months?” Daniel slurred.

“You know what, you’re a fucking prick, dude. She deserves so much better than you; I bet your dick is small anyway,” the girl said.

“Fuck you too bitch,” Daniel spit.

“I can’t believe you,” you said.

“Oh, whoop-dee-doo, big fucking surprise. Babe, you’re a prude. Can’t you see it? I don’t know why I’m wasting my time with you anymore,” he practically puked out the words without any second thought.

“Fine, then I hope you enjoy the rest of your night, you fucking asshole,” you stormed away holding in the tears; he wasn’t worth it.

Almost three am and you just dumped your cheating lowlife boyfriend on the other side of town. Steve wasn’t answering his phone and you even wanna be near the club anymore. Walking speedily staring at your screen desperate to call an Uber home, you bumped harshly into a hard chest falling to the ground on your bum.

“Fucking hell, I’m so sorry, darling,” the man said helping you up by your elbows.

“It’s ok. I wasn’t looking- Bucky?”

“Oh, hey kid. What are you doing? It’s like three in the morning and you don’t live anywhere near here,” Bucky said, crossing his arms.

“Daniel got himself kicked from the one by our apartment and Ubered here instead.”

“So where’s Daniel?” Bucky scowled; he’s always hated that guy, so did Steve.

“Probably fucking some other chick in the bathroom,” your voice cracked.

“What?”

“It’s nothing; I just want to go home,” you cried.

“Hey, it’s ok; it’s ok. Do you wanna crash at me and Steve’s? He’s gone for the weekend with Peggy; you can stay in his room at least for the night,” Bucky offered; so that’s why Steve’s not answering his phone.

“I don’t wanna intrude on your night. I can just call an Uber, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. Steve’ll kill me if he found out I left his baby sis alone in the streets of New York at three in the morning. It’s not a problem, we were just bar hopping and I stopped drinking ages ago.”

“Are you sure, Buck?”

“Of course,” he smiled warmly at you.

“Hey, Nat!”

“What’s up?” a beautiful redhead approached you both.

“Gonna head home ; don’t do anything stupid,” he chuckled.

“You too,” she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “Catch you Monday?”

“You’re stupid. I’ll see ya,” Bucky laughed before grabbing your hand and headed towards his apartment.

“Thanks again, Buck. For letting me stay here tonight,” you said once you entered his apartment.

It had been a while since you hung out at your brother’s apartment but nothing’s changed. Typical men and their inability to change even a throw pillow. You set your small bag on the couch before Bucky led you to Steve’s room. There were pictures of you and him posing at Steve’s graduation; and later your own. Pictures of Steve and Bucky at a theme park, during a bar-be-que for Steve’s birthday. So many memories that Steve held onto in his room.

“Time really flies doesn’t it?” Bucky said, slightly startling you.

“Sorry,” he chuckled.

“No, you’re fine. But you’re right. Feels all these pictures were taken yesterday,” you reminisced.

“I got you some clothes if you need to change; I’ll give you privacy,” Bucky said, slipping from the room briskly.

You sat on the bed frustrated with everything. Your body was so drained from being up so early in the night, to the fight with Daniel. The past couple months with him were so awful. He was just so mean to you all the time and you didn’t know what you did wrong. Where did it go wrong? When did things shift?

"Is everything ok, darling?" Bucky asked quietly, knocking on the door when you hadn't come out after a while.

"What did I do wrong? I thought he loved me," you choked out.

Bucky sighed as he walked over to the bed sitting beside you before engulfing you in a warm hug. You cried into his shoulder and Bucky couldn't help the anger that bubbled inside him for your excuse of a boyfriend Daniel. He never got along with the guy and now he finally has a reason to knock his teeth in.

"You didn't do anything, I know it. That prick wouldn't know love if it hit him in the face. It's his loss. You deserve so much better than that asshole. Look at me, you're so beautiful and funny and fucking adorable; any guy who can't see how perfect you are, is a dense piece of shit."

"James," you whispered.

His words made your heart skip and your stomach flutter. But Bucky’s always had that effect on you. Even growing up. You weren’t going to sit there and pretend that hearing his words hadn't had a deeper effect than they would’ve coming from Daniel. Sometimes you wondered what being with Bucky would be like. You’re not the first to admit how handsome Bucky was and growing up you did have quite the crush on your brother’s best friend.

You don't know what it was, whether it was the alcohol still swimming through your veins, or just feeling so vulnerable being in Bucky's arms but you wanted him badly. You needed him, needed to feel something again. And you knew he could give it to you. You pressed your lips to his and in an instant his hands dropped to your hips pulling you impossibly close against his body. Your hands went to the back of his head as you kissed him messily. Your noses bumped and teeth clashed but it was the best kiss you’ve ever had.

“Fuck, your brother’s gonna kill me,” Bucky mumbled, almost to himself, as he slowly laid you down on your back.

Bucky’s hands trailed up your thighs, squeezing the soft flesh every now and then as he continued kissing you passionately. Your own hands couldn’t help but tug at his shirt desperately. When he did so, your breath was completely taken away. It had been years since you’d seen Bucky without a shirt.

Not only had he been quite skinny just like your brother back then, but not long after leaving for college with Steve he was in a bike accident that left him with ghastly scars and burns along his left arm and shoulder. Since then, it’s fair to say Bucky never really ever took his shirt off. It had taken years just for him to remove the glove he’d always wear to cover the scars on his hand.

“You’ve gotten so strong, James,” you grinned, reaching out to brush the flexed muscles running down his front.

He simply stared at you with an anticipating and anxious expression on his face, waiting for you to state the obvious. When you didn’t, when you pulled his head down to kiss him once again, he almost cried. Bucky hadn’t been with a woman in so long, afraid of this very moment. He knew at that moment, there was no one quite like you.

Bucky fell in love.

“Let me take care of you, darling. You’ve been so good to me,” Bucky whispered huskily in your ear as he trailed his hand under your own shirt brushing his fingertips along the underside of your breast.

His lips pressed softly against your hot skin along your neck before standing up between your legs at the end of the bed. He pulled your shirt off then played cheekily with the straps of your bra that you still had on. You smiled back at him with the same playful stare, reaching behind you to unclasp the material.

You could see the way Bucky’s eyes darken and his pupils widened as he stared in awe at your naked chest. Your skin bursted into chills under his hungry gaze even though you felt like you were burning up. Bucky leaned forward kissing down the valley of your breasts, nipping once in a while playfully before laying you back down. He shimmied you out of your bottoms easily, kneeling on the ground leaving you completely bare before him.

“You are absolutely stunning, princess,” Bucky whispered, running his hands up your thighs slowly.

“Bucky, please. I need you,” you whimpered.

“Don’t worry, darling. I promise I’m gonna take good care of you,” he smirked devilishly.

He pushed your knees open, eyeing the arousal that glistened between your thighs. He brought his fingers up to you slowly rubbing your slick around before finally pushing a thick and long finger past your folds. Your body shuddered solely at the foreign but pleasurable feeling, already moaning softly.

Bucky’s cock strained through pants upon hearing your beautiful moans; they were like music to his ears. He couldn’t help the way his hips would buck into the mattress in a desperate attempt to relieve some pain from his erection. Soon after he pulled his fingers from you slowly only to thrust them further in you, curling his fingers just right.

He brought his mouth down to you, wrapping his lips around your clit sucking harshly. You gasped and your back arched, overwhelmed with pleasure Bucky was giving you with just his mouth and fingers. All the times that you’d given yourself to your ex, he had never made you feel this good before, feel this full; let alone with his fingers. Bucky was taking his time with you solely for your own pleasure and it made your heart swoon.

Your legs trapped Bucky’s head between your thighs, squeezing as he continued to eat you out like a starved man. Your hands went to his hair pulling on his dark locks causing Bucky to moan deeply against you. You were so close to a release; your legs shaking violently and your stomach tightening.

“Come on, princess. Want you to come all over my face. Can you do that for me, darling?”

“Fuck!”

“Be a good girl and make a mess,” Bucky teased.

His fingers moved faster as he swirled his tongue around and over your clit just as quickly. You were becoming overwhelmed and that coil bursted in the pit of your stomach. You pushed Bucky’s face from you, shrieking with pure pleasure; Bucky’s kept the rapid pace with fingers as you fell over the edge.

“Fucking hell, that was so hot, princess,” Bucky said standing up; his fingers, arm, his chest was covered in your arousal.

“Did I do that?” your voice trembled.

“Because of me,” Bucky winked playfully.

“I didn’t know I could do that,” you let your head fall back on the bed as you briefly caught your breath.

Bucky grabbed his shirt that he discarded not long ago and quickly wiped his chest and arm before discarding his pants and boxers. He nearly moaned at the feeling when he finally freed his dick from the restraining garments. His hand instantly wrapped around the base before pumping himself a few times.

You brought yourself onto your elbows momentarily ogling at the sight of Bucky completely bare before you. Your mouth practically watered at the sight. Bucky crawled over you kissing you deeply and messily; but perfectly. He pulled away and you both had goofy smiles on your faces before bursting into a fit of giggles, Bucky’s head burying into the crook of your neck.

“You’re so goddamn adorable, princess,” Bucky’s voice was muffled.

“Bucky,” you whined.

You couldn’t resist squirming underneath the burly man. Although, you’ve just had what was probably the best orgasm you’ve ever had, you wanted more. You needed more; you needed Bucky.

“I got you, darling. I got you.”

Bucky wanted to tease you more, make you beg, but he was just as desperate to feel you as you were. He propped himself up on his elbows kissing you one last time before reaching between your bodies and lining his dick with your entrance. Both you and Bucky moaned simultaneously as he stretched you out; curses spilling from his lips as incoherent moans fell from yours.

“So fucking tight, princess. Squeezing my cock just right, aren’t ya?” he whispered.

“Fuck, I feel so full,” you whimpered.

Bucky began to slowly move his hips in and out of you deliciously. He quickly picked up the pace, jetting his hips rapidly making your moans louder. Bucky sat up on his knees and gripped your waist surely to leave bruises in your wake. This new angle surprised you and you couldn’t help the squeals and moans that left your mouth. You chanted Bucky's name like a prayer; as if it was the only word you knew.

Bucky watched you carefully, your face contorting with pure euphoric pleasure. He couldn’t help notice the small bump in your lower belly and without a second thought, he grabbed your hands pressing them firmly over your tummy.

“You feel how deep I am, darling? Fucking poking through,” Bucky grunted.

“Shit! Oh, it feels so good,” you moaned.

“That’s right, no one’s ever gonna fuck you this good again. This pussy’s mine now,” Bucky growled.

He took one of his hands and wrapped it around your throat squeezing the sides gently but firm at the same time. Your eyes rolled back and you moaned even louder, confident that the neighbors were sure to complain in the morning. Feeling Bucky’s hand around your neck was so exhilarating; you and Daniel had never ever experimented with anything beyond a pair of handcuffs, and that particular night went horribly.

You like being choked by Bucky.

“Fucking slut; you like this, don’t ya?” he came down to whisper huskily against your lips.

“Mh-hm,” you moaned with a devilish grin, your bottom lip resting between your teeth before your eyes rolled back again.

“Such a fucking beauty you are.”

Bucky hips snapped in and out and he knew it wouldn’t be long until he needed to release.

“God, I’m close, princess,” he growled.

His hand moved to rest on the back of your neck to pull you up so you straddled his thighs and your chest was flushed against his. Your sensitive and hardened nipples brushed against his slightly sweaty skin causing you to shudder in pleasure. Bucky’s lips attached themselves to your skin along your collar bones sucking harshly leaving purple marks all along.

Your legs shook once again as they did before and soon enough with an arched back and shout of Bucky’s name you came all over his cock. Overwhelmed with your sex, Bucky bit harshly on your shoulder in a poor attempt to muffled the loud groans and moans he elicited. Feeling your velvety walls squeeze tightly around him pushed him over the edge, coating your walls with hot ribbons on cum.

He fell forward almost crushing you but you were too tired to complain. Bucky continued to pepper soft kisses all over your skin whispering how good you were to him, how beautiful you looked. Just absolutely showering with compliments. You felt him slowly getting off you, probably afraid he was crushing you, but you didn’t want him to leave just yet.

“Don’t,” you whispered, wrapping your arms tightly around his body.

“I don’t want to crush you, darling.”

“You’re not.”

Bucky chuckled before settling completely above you, careful not to make you uncomfortable. Hardly any time went by when he felt the even and soft puffs of air hitting his skin, sure that you had fallen asleep. He picked himself up and with major guilt for his best friend, picked you up from the bed and walked you to his own room.

After he was sure you stayed sound asleep, Bucky grabbed a clean pair of boxers and hurried himself to Steve’s room again. He collected all the discarded clothes and the dirty sheets and tossed them in the washing machine to clean right away.

He hadn’t meant to fuck his best friend’s little sister, let alone in his own room, on his own bed, but it all happened so fast.

He went back to his room letting the clothes do it’s thing, and quickly grabbed his phone. He messaged Steve, telling him that when he got back for his weekend with Peggy, he really needed to talk to him.

Tonight made Bucky realize how much he loved you. Growing up, you two had always been close. But he doesn’t know when he stopped being friendly and instead began flirting. Bucky wanted to be with you; he knew it now more than ever.

Bucky watched your gorgeous sleeping form on his bed. He smiled to himself before opening the window; the sun already rising and those beautiful golden rays seeped through the glass window, making you look angelic. He crawled into bed cuddling flushed against your naked body. He chuckled softly when you realized he’d returned, wiggling even further into his arms.

“I love you, Bucky,” you mumbled.

“I love you, too, darling.”

And he really, and truly did love you. As did you love him.

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ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)

@mathletemadison

@buckybarnes101-blog

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@stefans-wife

@cordeliaswhore

@fleurlovesbucky

@povsmarvel0720

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Bucky Barnes Taglist:

@stolenxkissess

@bucknastayyy38

#marvel smut #bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes smut #marvel fics #bucky x y/n

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writingonsaturn · 3 years

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Better Unsaid

a/n okay this has been all over the place!! it was originally going to be a blurb and darker and closer to smutty (so keep your eyes out for that??? lol), but then I made it softer and the concept got away from me and it got soooo much longer than expected lmao and i still dont love where it ended so maybe part 2?? i have the idea i just dont know lol

summary: Reader is a princess and Anakin has been her guard during the most public season for the past two years (not the most logical thing but just go with it lol, it gets explained better in the fic) and after a near death experience the two are conveniently forced into a....

ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE *cough cough* ONE BED TROPE WITH ONE PERSON HAVING TO WAKE UP THE OTHER BC THEYRE HAVING A NIGHTMARE,, :)))))))

His smugness is the only thing about him I can consider ‘ugly’. And because I am so desperate to not have feeling for Anakin, the Jedi who has been assigned to protect me through coronation season (which lasts for most of winter), for the last two coronation seasons, I hold onto my distaste for that side of him. Which is why I suppress my laugh as he waits for my reaction with that confident smile.

“Come on, that was funny.”

Rolling my eyes, I let myself sit on my bed. I can’t tell if he’s actually funny or if my evening has been so boring that his sense of humor has started to become appealing to me due to comparison. In short, the suitor I was forced to spend an entire evening with lacked personality so much I’m starting to find Anakin funny.

“You’re much more entertaining than this evening’s suitor.”

Anakin’s expression shifts slightly, his assured grin dropping slightly. “Another miss?”

“You have no idea.” I relax slightly, taking a moment to be glad that I completed my father’s request and now I can just enjoy the time I have with Anakin. “I know my father’s desperate to make sure my marriage is useful for our people and that he worries about this selection process because he always thought my mother would be here to help, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t rush it so much. It feels like all he wants me for is to marry me off in exchange of finance or weaponry or something diplomatic.”

“You’re more than that.” His response is so soft I think I might have missed it if I needed it less. I curse myself for feeling so validated by him. His words shouldn’t mean anything to me. After all, he could easily just be saying that because agreeing with my father will just make me more unpleasant to be around.

I smile politely while avoiding his eyes. I keep my hands on either side of me, fighting the urge to fidget. “Thank you, Anakin.” My words sound weak in my own ears, so I’m sure he notices my shift in mood. “I’m tired today, I think I’m going to go to bed early.” Normally, I’d be able to shrug off these kinds of things, but the beginning of Coronation Season makes me irritable. The anniversary of my mother’s death hits me harder each year.

“Y/n.” My name comes out so velvety I can’t find it in myself to interrupt him. “You are more than someone meant to be used as some kind of royal currency, and I mean that as more than just a...friend.”

I let his last word linger. We’ve tried so many titles that never seem to fit right. He’s the chosen one, one of the most powerful Jedi to exist, and the Jedi assigned to protect me each Coronation Season because that’s when my mother was assassinated. He’s my guard, but we’ve spent too many nights laughing together and talking about everything and anything. And I guess now he’s my friend, even though sometimes when he looks at me in a certain way or sits too close to me or reaches for my hand to guide me somewhere I can’t breathe right.

“Anakin, you know I love when you’re here, even though sometimes you drive me insane. And I appreciate your kindness, but your words can’t change the truth. That’s how my father sees me and he’s not exactly wrong. I’m not a son, I haven’t been raised to lead an army or lead much, and--”

“I’ve seen you in meeting after meeting, convention after convention. I’ve witnessed the way you handle real problems and I know how you care about your people. You’d make a great leader, you don’t need a husband to be valuable.”

My chest swells, feelings I never let myself think about mixing with thoughts of Anakin that I’ve spent so long trying to avoid. “That settles it, you’re my favorite person.”

He grins, the look warm enough to melt the odd lump in my throat. I fight down a smile as he steps forward. “And I wasn’t before?”

“I take it back--your head’s big enough without the additional praise.”

Rolling my eyes, I lean back slightly in order to recreate the distance he so easily destroyed. “And I thought you had finally warmed up to me, princess.”

The use of my title makes me skeptical. The last time Anakin used it was when he was trying to ease me so that I’d walk around the palace garden so he had an excuse to do the same. It was beyond late and I was half asleep, but he had os much energy he was desperate and just needed to do one more thing. I felt bad that his schedule revolved so heavily around mine (and when he softens his eyes and says please, I’m left incapable of saying the word ‘no’) so I agreed.

“What do you want?”

Anakin dramatically clutches a hand over his heart. He throws his head back slightly as if he’s just taken a fatal blow. “When did you turn so cynical? I’ve been back for three days and I’m starting to believe you’re a different person now.”

Yeah...he’s definitely getting ready to ask for something that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Then again, everything with him seems to be worth it in some capacity. Even if it’s just that one smile he gets when he’s truly content and doesn’t think anyone’s looking.

“Mhm,” I mumble, still fighting a grin, “so you’re not going to ask me anything?”

His lips part slightly as he exhales. I watch the way his eyes narrow at my victorious expression. “I don’t have anything to ask of you, but I do have a small request. A request so small you won’t have to do anything but say yes.”

Suspicious. Too easy. “You’re unbelievable.”

“You just said I was your favorite person. Remember that.”

I’m too tired for his coyness. I’d rather him make his ridiculous request now so that I can be in bed within the hour. Though I can’t pretend I don’t normally feel better after letting him drag me along on whatever ‘adventure’ he just needed to complete while also not letting me out of his sight. I used to tell him that I wouldn’t tell anyone if I wasn’t under supervision for an hour or two a day, but he dismissed the idea immediately. That’s been the cornerstone of everything.

“What is it?”

He sighs once, tilting his head slightly. The way his eyes soften tells me he’s already won at least half the battle. “They still haven’t caught the attempted--” Anakin pauses, something behind his eyes darkening. I know what he’s remembering. Last night, an assassin had gotten closer than they ever had. I had almost been shot in the garden, Anakin had barely pushed me to the ground in time. A fact he’s been beating himself up for since, especially considering that no one has been able to find my attempted killer yet. “They were so close to you. They were within palace limits and they disappeared like they never existed. Who’s to say they don’t work here and are waiting for the next moment you’re exposed? Who’s to say they aren’t here tonight, waiting for me to retire for the night?”

I didn’t realize how my near death experience had been so personal to him. He, like everyone else, was beyond frantic after it happened. But my father put an end to verbal worry before it could truly begin. He said the best thing we could do was act like everything was fine as the assailant was searched for. Anakin hadn’t been particularly cheery after my father instructed the guards to focus their search on known enemies instead of prioritizing venting the staff closest to me. I comforted him as best as I could, but he didn’t feel like speaking about it and I had to worry about the suitor meeting my father wouldn’t let me cancel.

“Anakin, you’re right next door to me.” I have to fight the urge to reach for him. “I was fine because of you, and I will be fine because of you.”

He sighs once, his expression not easing. “And if the person is silent? The attacker could easily work in the palace, but no one wanted to direct the search inwards.” His words are more strained than I’ve ever heard them be. “I think it’d be smart for me to stay in here. I know you’ve refused having a guard stay in your room or outside your door, but...” Anakin sighs. “Your safety would be more assured.”

Him staying in my room? The only line I’ve ever been allowed to draw, and I’m actually considering letting that go. If he seemed even slightly less sad, I wouldn’t even consider it. It’s not a good idea. I’m already too attached to him. “Anakin--”

“I’d feel more assured.”

Damn him. Stupid, extremely sweet Anakin who makes saying no to him impossible. I stretch my arm forward, letting my hand squeezes his forearm gently. “There’s no reason to not feel assured.” He doesn’t ease, the cloudiness behind his eyes remains stubborn. “You’re still worried.” No reaction, the haze that’s taken him isn’t letting go. “Fine--but tell no one or my father is going to take to posting guards at my door every night.”

...I guess there are worse ways to spend a night. Which is kind of a problem since I’m trying to...enjoy Anakin less. Ugh, I even sound dumb in my head. “I promise, princess.”

Ugh, he’s adorable. “You’re intolerable.” I stand from he foot of my bed and pull back the covers on my bed. He doesn’t reply, something dark still playing for him. I watch him move to face the door. Wait--is he doing what I think he’s doing? “No, you’re not going to stand there all night. You need sleep.” He has the audacity to give me an annoyed look. “I already didn’t want to do this so now you have to listen to my conditions.”

He raises an eyebrow, his lips pressing together oddly. He’s trying to gauge something from my expression, perhaps he’s looking for buttons to press to get his way. I guess I look as stubborn as I feel because instead of arguing he just sits on the floor. What? I watch him cautiously, trying to figure out if this is some weird argument trick.

“What are you doing?”

“What you asked.”

And just like that I’ve put myself in a position that I will no doubt regret terribly the second common sense returns to me. There’s no way to deny that Anakin and I are closer than we probably should be. We’ve felt like friends first since the day we first met. I can’t think of any reason to not offer to let him sleep in my bed except those stupid budding feelings I refuse to label.

It’s not like I actually like him. I can’t--I’m going to be married to some nobleman and he’s prohibited from ever forming attachments. I’m not even sure if we’re allowed to be friends. Having actual feelings for him would be so, so pointless. It would just lead to heartache and the ruining of the one genuine relationship I have. I’m just a tiny bit confused right now because he’s objectively really attractive and he’s always there for me. Always there to make a joke after a particularly rough meeting. Always there to offer me a supportive smile. Always there to humble me when I teeter on acting like my father.

Anyone’s heart would flutter at that, so it doesn’t mean anything. And if it does, I need to squash any budding feelings now before I mess things up. Which is why I should keep him at arm’s length until I get it together. But is that fair to him? And what if doing that is making things worse? What if it’s just reinforcing the idea of having feelings?

This is ridiculous. I’m going to get over this if it kills me. It’s just a bed and it’s only sleeping. I’m meant to be able to lead an entire union and I can’t sleep next to someone and act normal?” “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

The second the words leave my mouth I regret it all. What’s wrong with me? Did I seriously think I’d be okay?

I hear his soft exhale, “I’ll be fine. I’ve slept in worse places than on your marble floor.”

His voice sounds so weighted I can’t help but feel bad for not noticing that he’s still bothered. Whether he’s upset about his near miss or the fact that my father didn’t take his advice, I don’t know. But something’s wrong. The easy thing to do would be to just let him sleep it off. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until tomorrow.

I think of all the times that I’ve been upset and Anakin had refused to let me go to sleep angry or sad or overwhelmed. “I know, but it’s really not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t know each other. I mean, last Coronation Season you buttoned me into more gowns than my handmaid. And I owe you for saving me from one of the worst suitors I’ve ever had.”

“I’m starting to think we need to develop some kind of signal.”

The tiny bit of lightness that’s returned to his voice makes all of my internal struggle feel worth it. “You always seem to know.”

“That’s because when you’re reaching your limit, that one line appears between your eyebrows.”

I didn’t realize I had such a tell. I try to remember the way that the suitor drawled on and on about how amazing he was and how he couldn’t wait for the day he had a bride to bear his children and plan (tedious) social events. My hand moves to my forehead, trying to feel the crease Anakin mentioned. Can everyone tell when I’m growing tired? Am I that transparent?

Anakin’s slight laugh steals my attention. He’s facing me again, his elbow holding his head up on the foot of my bed. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t--I don’t think i get a crease between my eyebrows when I’m irritated.”

I hear him stand. I don’t realize he’s approaching me until he’s so close I could touch him without even needing. to stretch. “No, when you’re irritated you raise your eyebrows slightly, because that’s when you’re at your most sarcastic.”

“Really?”

The corner of his mouth tugs upwards. “Just like that.” I force myself to keep my expression blank. “When you’re reaching your limit, your eyebrows crease here.” His finger taps the space between my brows so gently I almost don’t realize what he’s doing. “And when you’re trying not to laugh--which is often, because you refuse to admit that I’m funny--you press your lips together in a way that forms a dimple here.” The knuckle of his pointer finger brushes against the bottom of my cheek.

I bite my tongue to fight the warmth spreading across my face. “I didn’t realize i was so transparent.”

“I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.”

“I’ll take it.” Maybe if I was less tired, I’d argue a little more. “You know you’re not that difficult to read either.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I can tell when you’re just being stubborn for the sake of it. I can see it in your eyes and you’re doing it right now.”

His expression harshens slightly before softening. “Y/n--”

“I’m not wrong.”

He sighs once, stepping back. I watch him pace around my bed before taking a seat on the edge of my other side of the bed. “Are you happy now?”

“Happy that I won? Absolutely.”

Anakin halfheartedly glares at me. “Careful, add a crown and a robe that trails down a throne and I’d feel like I was speaking to your father.”

“Careful, another side comment like that and I’ll ‘accidentally’ kick you off the bed in the middle of the night.”

“Not if I kick you off the bed first.”

I trace a thoughtless pattern on the fabric of my bedsheets. “What are you? Twelve?”

“I’m older than you.”

“Barely.” I continue the thoughtless pattern tracing as I fight the sleep from my eyes. “Your comebacks are usually more creative than that.”

He exhales, relaxing slightly as he rests his back against a pillow. “I’m tired, like you claimed to be.” His eyes flutter slightly, a bit of his exhaustion showing. “Go to sleep.”

I should. I’m too old to think I can put off a tomorrow I don’t want by just staying up. This is stupid. I’m too old to think I can put off the anniversary of my mother’s death by going to bed. She had been taken from us on castle grounds, killed by a revolutionist who viewed my mother as a class traitor. I still remember the way she slumped to the ground, her blood staining the snow beneath her. I remember the way the guards were so busy chasing her killer no one thought to keep me away from the body.

“Y/n?”

I scratch the back of my arm in hopes of banishing my thoughts. “Yes?”

“You’re being quiet.”

“You said to go to sleep, that tends to be a quiet thing.”

I can feel his eyes on me. “Since when do you listen to me?” Not trusting myself to actually reply, I only offer him a hum of acknowledgement. “I know you’re not half asleep.”

Folding my hands on my lap, I avoid his gaze. “It’s tomorrow.”

I don’t know why I trust him to understand my vague response, but I do. His silence stretches over us like a thin blanket on a cold night. Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m implying. I can always correct him tomorrow, when my eyelids are no longer as heavy as my heart. The more seconds that pass in total silence, the more I think that maybe he’s fallen asleep.

I wouldn’t be surprised, Anakin has seemed tired recently, like some additional weight he won’t share with anyone has been thrust onto his shoulders. A small part of me rolls in guilt. I need to be a better friend, just because I’m suddenly a little too aware of him doesn’t mean I can shrug him off and ignore him.

My hand almost flinches away from the feeling of something surprisingly warm touching my pinky. When I realize that it’s just Anakin and that the contact was probably accidental, I force myself to ease. It’s not like we’ve never touched before, I don’t understand why I’m making it weird. Sitting in my bed in the dark doesn’t change anything. His hand turns slightly, pressing into mine a little more assuredly. Biting my tongue, I turn my hand slightly, exposing my palm. And just like that, our fingers intertwine.

“She would have been proud of you.” His voice comes out so low I barely register the words.

The words shouldn’t mean much to me--he never knew my mother and has no way to know what she wanted me to be.--and yet I find comfort in them. I smile, turning my head towards him. “You didn’t even know her.”

He rolls his eyes slightly, relaxing further before squeezing my hand once. “Who wouldn’t be proud of you? You’re kind and smart and decent to be around when you’re not telling me what to do.”

My heart swells in my chest so much I’m surprised it doesn’t burst. Could he be cuter? “Yeah...now I’m sure you’re my favorite person.”

“Now you’re sure?”

The smugness in his voice has me rolling my eyes. “Don’t make me regret saying that.”

“Maybe in the morning,” he says easily, “now go to sleep. There’s nothing worse than escorting you from meeting to meeting while you’re tired.”

“I’m not that bad.” Even in this darkness, I can make out the way he raises an eyebrow. “Shut up--I’m going to sleep, but not because of you.”

He lets out a slight huff. “You’re impossible.”

The desire to respond to his comment is not enough for me to win the fight against the weight of my eyelids. The moment my eyes shut, I feel powerless to anything that isn’t sleep. I let myself fall into a weightless sleep, my only tether being the Anakin’s fingers around mine.

A distant noise yanks me from my sleep. I’m too drowsy to do anything but register the sound. I hear another similar...whine? cry? I can’t tell and I’m too asleep to figure it out. I almost fall asleep again, but a third distressed sound keeps me from it. I wipe my eyes lazily with the back of my hand as I try to sit up.

Squinting, I make out a figure on my bed. It takes me a moment to remember Anakin and how I fell asleep. Our hands are still together and no light is peering through my window so it can’t be that long since I fell asleep. Another disgruntled sound carries itself throughout the room. I shift slightly, leaning over Anakin cautiously.

Golden brown curls are beginning to stick to his forehead and his eyebrows are drawn together sharply. He’s having a nightmare. I shift even further forward before cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder before squeezing him gently.

“Anakin,” I whisper, “it’s not--it’s not real.” His eyebrows draw together even more harshly. I shake him a little more stubbornly. “Anakin, wake up--you’re having a ni--”

My forearm is grabbed so suddenly I barely register it before I feel my back shoved into my mattress. I blink twice. His dark eyes are frantic and the look on his face is far from the gentle, easygoing expression I’m used to. He’s breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling from above me. I swallow a slight panic and something I don’t understand as I try to keep my eyes on his face and my thoughts away from how close he is. Anakin pries his fingers from my forearm one by one until only his palm is touching me.

“Y/n, I--”

“It’s okay.” Honestly, I’m more worried about his uneven breathing than the way he grabbed me. I can’t imagine everything he’s been through or how justified his nightmares are. Anakin moves his hand away from me. I don’t sit up until he’s off of me and sitting with his back against my headboard. “It’s okay--I just--you were having a nightmare and I thought I should wake you.” He doesn’t react. I turn my body further, keeping my back straight. Anakin doesn’t move, and the longer he stays still, the more I feel like I should say something else. “Do you want talk about it? Or do--do you want to talk about something else? Or go to sleep? Or get some water? Or--” The far off look behind his eyes silences me. I scoot forward slightly. “You’re okay, Anakin, I promise.”

His head turns at that, his eyes searching mine for something I don’t understand. “I thought...” He cuts himself off by swallowing once.

I shift a little more, trying to find anything normal in his expression. “Thought what?”

Anakin’s hand is on my arm so quickly I don’t even register his movement. I let his fingers press into my skin. He’s holding onto me like I’m a figment of a dream and he’s beginning to wake up. “I thought I’d failed.” He exhales, the sound heavy. “Failed you and that you’d--I thought I had lost you.”

A lump rises in my throat, thick and unmoving. Cautiously, I place my hand over the one still gripping my shoulder like a lifeline. “You didn’t. Nothing happened, it was just a dream.”

His gaze falls to the ground before he repeats the last of my words. “Just a dream.” There’s a hollowness to his voice I don’t understand.

I exhale, carefully running my thumb over his knuckles. “Yes.” He doesn’t say anything but his expression hardens again. I let us sit there like that for a long minute. “I promise.”

“You can’t promise things like that.”

I sigh, unsure of where to go from here. “Bad dreams are only bad dreams.” He doesn’t reply. “I think you should try to get some more sleep.”

Anakin is unresponsive. I shift back, but before I can transition from almost being on top of him to just sitting next to him, he pulls on my arm to keep in place. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“You almost died today, y/n. I was right there and if I had been a second later--”

“But you weren’t.” He doesn’t ease. “You were there and I was fine. Don’t torment yourself over what could have been. You’ll drive yourself crazy.”

“If anything ever happened to y--”

“It’s not going to,” I whisper, ignoring the way his hold on my arm tightens even further, “Especially this time a year when I have a pretty good gau--”

He tilts his head slightly, eyebrows drawing together and a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Pretty good? Really?”

“Someone needs to watch your ego, chosen one.” This time when he tries for a smile, the look has some strength behind it. Relief pools in my stomach. “Now get some sleep, tomorrow’s a busy day and when you’re sleepy you’re beyond irritable.”

Anakin lets me pull away enough to lay down, but he doesn’t follow. Not for a long second. When he does, his movements are impossibly rigid. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as carefully as I can manage.

“Y/n?”

I regret turning my head immediately. I didn’t realize how close he was. It would take no effort from me to make our lips meet. Wait--why am I thinking of that? I’m not allowed to think of stuff like that...especially not about him.

“Yes?”

He lets out a breath before moving his hand. I don’t understand his hesitation until I feel his hand cupping my cheek gently. “What if next time I’m not enough? What if next time I lose you because I’m not strong enough?”

I never thought my death would be such a personal thing to him. Sure, I knew that we had some kind of bond, some kind of friendship, and that my death would bring sadness. But I never imagined I’d matter enough to him that thoughts of my death would be frightening enough to slip into his subconscious and become a thing of nightmares.

“You are enough. Nothing is going to happen to me and if it does it’s not going to be because of you.” Anakin’s lips press together in a way that implies serious uncertainty. His thumb brushes across my cheek so unexpectedly I almost ask him what he’s doing. The intensity behind his eyes is enough to burn me. “Was your dream really that bad?”

He lets out an uncertain breath as his eyebrows draw together. I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches. “It’s more than the dream. I...y/n, princess,” he tacts on, a hint of humor returning to him, “you’re more than a mission to me.”

The admission is so soft I can’t help but smile. “I know, Anakin, we’re--”

“You’re more than a friend to me.” I don’t know if my blood freezes in my veins or if my lungs don’t contract when they should or if my heart literally skips a beat, but I know something in me completely stops at his words. “I--”

“Don’t say it.” I don’t know how I managed to cut him off so sharply and I’m a little disappointed when I do, but it’s the right thing to do. Thought of the code that’s so important to him have clouded half the immense shock and joy swelling in my chest. “What you’re trying to say...I um, I want to say the same.” I try to drop my gaze but he tilts my head up slightly with his hand. “But we shouldn’t, you know that.”

"You want to us to pretend that nothing’s different? You want me to escort you from meetings with one suitor to the next every Coronation Season until you’re married off?”

“No, I’m not saying that. The point is that I’m not saying anything.” His eyebrows draw together in uncertainty. “Isn’t it enough for now, for both of us to just know? If we say it...that could mean bad things for you. And I don’t want to be a bad thing for you.”

“You could never be.”

It’d be so easy to believe him. To believe him and to let him say what I never imagined I’d be able to hear and damn the consequences of tomorrow. “Can we just refrain from verbally saying anything until you’re sure?”

“I’m sure right now. I’ve been sure since the first time we ever walked in the garden together. The night after the first Coronation Ball I escorted you to.”

I remember that night well. The way he hadn’t scolded me for needing air or taking off my uncomfortably high heels to walk in the grass. “If you mean it, you won’t say it yet. I refuse to get in the way of what you’re meant for.”

His thumb runs my cheek entirely, stopping at the corner of my mouth. “Are you capable of not disagreeing with me?”

Rolling my eyes slightly, I place my hand over his. “Probably not.”

Anakin exhales, his playful irritation clear in the sound. “You’re impossible when you’re tired.”

“I am not tired.”

“I can see the sleep in your eyes.”

“I can see it in yours too.”

He pauses, eyebrows drawn together cautiously. “I’ll go to sleep if you do.”

He must be more tired than I thought if he’s compromising with me so quickly. “Deal.”

Neither of us close our eyes for a long second, we just watch each other with wide eyes. It still doesn’t feel like he’s eased, but he’s come back to me so much more than he was earlier. I’ll make sure to check how he’s feeling in the morning. The first morning after we’ve...I don’t know.

I’m trying really hard not to get excited because anything that’s been not said could be taken back so easily. That’s the point--but it’s hard not to let my heart get ahead of my rationality. I’ll just take the good for what it is for now and tomorrow we can figure out the rest. Even though he’s not allowed to form attachments and my father really wants to marry me off to foreign royalty.

Tomorrow. This can begin to be solved tomorrow. My eyes shut and I let myself roll fully onto my back. The second I’m comfortably settled, I feel Anakin shift against the bed. I’m too tired to open my eyes until I feel a weight placed against my chest.

I open my eyes on instinct, less surprised than I should be when I see Anakin’s head resting against my chest. Before I can speak, I feel his arm rest against my side. “Anakin,” I breathe, my hand moving to smooth his hair out of his face the way I’ve wanted to for so long. “What did we just talk about?”

“You said not to say anything,” he mumbles comfortably, “I’m not saying anything.” ...It is kind of the ideal compromise. Especially since I’m too tired to find reason and he feels so warm. “I can feel you overthinking. Go back to smoothing my hair before I have to rise and stand at your door so that your handmaid comes to wake you. Something tells me she’d be glad for the excuse to get rid of me.”

That might be the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard him say. Selma is the most patient woman in the palace. “Selma would never report anything involving me, I can’t believe you don’t like her. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”

“She’s the one that doesn’t like me,” he says, “she always watches me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m planning on stealing you away.”

Too tired to fight my smile, I go back to smoothing his hair out with my fingers. After a moment, he lets out an exhale that relaxes his entire body. “Goodnight, princess.”

“Goodnight.” The word is barely a mumble as I feel sleep tug against me for the second time tonight.

It’s strange, but my excitement doesn’t diminish my tiredness, it just makes the prospect of rest feel so much fuller. Safer. Because there’s so much to sort out and grieve but it’s okay, because we have the time and everything feels okay because Anakin is here, right beneath my fingertips.

#anakin skywalker #anakin #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin x you #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x y/n #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars imagine #star wars imagines #star wars fic

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superbabetotherescue · 3 years

Text

Thanks, Brucie-Bruce Wayne x Reader

Word Count: 1840

Summary: You reminisce on your childhood with your best friend

Warnings: some violence, none really described in detail except reader getting punched in the face (as an alternative to getting teeth pulled), do teeth need their own warning bc they might, probably swearing but idk, kinda sad but don’t worry it’s fluffy, Bruce is a lil bitch but isn’t that kinda par for the course?

A/N: Once again this is just an old oneshot I have that I like a weird amount for no reason. You can read it as platonic or romantic it’s up to you idk but I’m lowkey thinking of making it into a series as platonic best friends so idk. I mean you’re reading it if you want it to be romantic that’s fine lmao I don’t care

Growing up one of Gotham’s elite may be a charmed life, but that didn’t mean that it was without its faults. You had spent your time being ignored by your parents, and your best friend, Bruce Wayne, became an orphan during a back alley robbery when the two of you were kids.

Or at least, former best friend.

In truth, you hadn’t seen Bruce in a while.

Well, you saw him constantly on the news and in the papers and just existing in Gotham in general, but you never got to see him face to face anymore.

Not for lack of trying, either. You sat down one night, the fifth time that Bruce had blown you off to meet for dinner in the past month, and pulled out your old photo album.

There was your fifth birthday party, a year or two after you had met Bruce in mega rich kid preschool, and there the two of you were, sharing a chair and staring at your huge birthday cake.

And the next picture, your favorite, the two of you covered in said birthday cake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Brucie,” You had cried, whispering to him frantically, “Brucie, I got frosting on my dress!”

You were wearing a frilly pink dress that your mother had forced upon you, and in a moment of excitement you had leaned forward a little too far, and now the pale buttercream frosting covered your bodice.

“Uh oh,” Bruce breathed out slowly, adjusting his tie, pink to match your dress, and looking down at his own tiny three piece suit.

You were panicking, breathing heavily, “My mom is gonna be so mad!”

With a quick tug to your pigtails, Bruce shook his head, “I got this, Y/N.”

He reached forward and scooped a large chunk of the cake out, turning to you and smashing it against your chest quickly.

“Ah!” You jumped backwards, “Bruce!”

“Come on, hit me back,” Bruce hissed, grabbing another handful of cake and smushing it into your face.

As his plan dawned on you, you nodded, getting your own chunk of cake and throwing it at him, laughing delightedly as it landed in his hair.

“Bruce!” Mrs. Wayne scolded, running forward and crouching next to her son, who was currently trying to wrestle you, “You’re such a mess. Ms. Y/L/N, I’m so sorry for my son’s behavior!”

Your mother merely shook her head, smiling pleasantly, “Oh please, don’t worry about it, Martha. Those two are always getting into trouble.”

Victory!

You leaned over to your best friend with a wide grin, wrapping him in a tight hug, “Thanks, Brucie!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flipping a few pages, you chuckled at what you saw.

Your face and Bruce’s fist matching in bloodiness, and a huge gap where your teeth were missing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were twelve years old, and you had five loose teeth. Your last five baby teeth. All in a row next to each other.

And, like most twelve year olds, you had a healthy fear of the dentist.

“They want me to go to the dentist tomorrow to get the teeth pulled!” You complained to Bruce, the two of you laying in his living room under the guise of studying.

He shrugged, “You just have to get them out before the dentist, right? Just keep wiggling.”

“I’ve been wiggling!” You sat up, shaking your head, “It’s not working. I need a new approach. Maybe Alfred can make something sticky for me to eat and the teeth will get stuck in it. Like that toffee your-”

You froze, not looking at Bruce anymore.

His hand touched yours gently, and you turned to see a small, sad smile on his face, “Like the toffee my father used to make at Christmas? That would be good. But Alfred’s working on something, I think.”

Nodding, you hmm’d quietly to yourself for a moment, “I just don’t know what to do. I can’t let the dentist pull my teeth. I just can’t do it, Brucie.”

“Don’t call me Brucie,” He scowled, but you knew he didn’t really care.

You sat in comfortable silence for a while, pushing your teeth back and forth with your tongue as the two of you thought.

“I have an idea,” Bruce stood, extending his hand out to you, “But it’s a little unorthodox.”

If he hadn’t been offering to help you, you would’ve rolled your eyes at the way he spoke.

You rose next to him, nodding, “Anything! Anything that keeps me out of the dentist’s chair.”

He took a breath, deep, slow, thoughtful. His hand reached out towards your face, thumb stroking your lips, palm cupping your jaw and cheek.

What was he doing?

And then he reared his fist back, and punched you in the face.

It hurt, that was for certain, but it was well concentrated in one place, and you coughed as you choked on the teeth, spitting them into your hand.

“There’s only four,” You frowned, counting them quickly.

“Sorry about that, Y/N,” He held his fist back out, and you saw the fifth tooth embedded in his knuckle, “You can have it back.”

With a chuckle you plucked the tooth out and pulled him into a hug, “Thanks, Brucie!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alfred had a field day with that one, you remembered, but it was still better than going to the dentist.

With a few more flicks of pages, you felt your heart catch in your throat.

Prom night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5:30.

Your date was supposed to come meet you at Wayne Manor at 5:30 so that you could go out with Bruce and his pretty blonde arm candy.

And now it was 6:45, and he still wasn’t there.

You’d been pacing the parlor of the Manor for two hours. Bruce and his date kept disappearing to make out in various rooms, and Alfred had stopped standing at the front door and had instead begun to busy himself in the kitchen.

And you were crying.

“Shit,” You hissed, wiping a tiny smear of eyeliner out from under your eye.

You weren’t going to cry over him. Especially not after you’d spent three hours on your makeup. You couldn’t do it.

“I don’t understand why we can’t just leave her,” You heard The Blonde complain to Bruce in the next room over, “She’s totally bringing down the mood.”

“Hey, back off,” Bruce sighed, “She’s my best friend. I’m not leaving her all alone on prom night. Maybe she can just come out with us.“

“I’m not spending my prom night with some loser who got stood up by her own date.”

You bit your lip, swallowing back a sob and then speaking loudly enough for them to know they were meant to hear you, “Hey, Bruce? I think I’m just gonna go, okay? Sorry for holding you guys up.”

“Wait,” Bruce opened the door to the closet he and his date were in, running a hand through his hair, “Y/N, don’t go.”

The Blonde gasped indignantly, and you shook your head, “No, seriously Bruce, don’t worry about it. I’m just-”

“Don’t leave, Y/N,” He said again, and the solidness of his words, the complete authority in how he said it, was enough to freeze you, “I’m taking you to prom. You can’t leave me.”

What?

“What?” The Blonde shrieked, stomping her heel on the ground, “You’re not taking her, you’re taking me!”

Bruce gave her a rather pleasant smile, “Actually, I’m not. I think you’re a stone cold bitch and if I look at you for any longer than fifteen more seconds, I think I’ll vomit. Now get out of my house,” And with that, waving a dismissive hand at her, he turned to you and grinned, “Now, Miss Y/N Y/L/N, would you do me the honor of being my date to prom?”

A burst of energy running through you, you sprang forward and wrapped him up in a hug, “Absolutely. Thanks, Brucie.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Closing your photo album, you sighed.

It felt like just yesterday in so many ways, and yet a million years ago.

What had happened between you two? What had you done to drive him away? Maybe a walk would clear your head.

You grabbed your keys and left, walking the streets of Gotham and thinking of your younger days.

There was a playground where you and Bruce would sometimes sneak off to play, halfway between both of your houses. It was where you had taught him how to throw a punch when you were six, where he had taught you how to cartwheel when you were eight, and where you two had shared your first kiss when you were ten.

You laughed at that memory too, wishing you had a picture in your album of that day, when the two of you had decided to be each other’s first kiss just so you’d know what you were getting yourselves into.

You’d sat on top of the monkey bars, staring into each other’s eyes as you came to your solemn decision, and leaned forward to give each other the briefest of pecks on the lips. And then you’d both fallen off the monkey bars, wiping your mouths and gagging dramatically.

Standing by those monkey bars, you ran your hands down the side with a smile.

And then you felt the cold barrel of a gun press into the back of your neck.

“Give me all your money, and get on your knees,” A dark voice growled.

Crap.

How could you let yourself be taken completely by surprise, in Gotham of all places?

Shaking, you tried to speak, your voice catching in your throat, “I… I don’t…”

“Hey!” A familiar voice sounded through the air, cutting you off, “Back off!”

You felt the rounded metal leave your skin and let out a sigh of relief.

Spinning on your heel, you watched as your attacker, a large man with a ski mask pulled over his face, so cliche, got the crap beaten out of him by…

“Batman?” You gasped.

Of course!

Batman wrapped an arm around you, scoffing at the thug on the ground, and shot a grappling hook into the air.

As you felt yourself fly your head spun, trying to wrap your mind around everything.

So this was why he kept standing you up. Why he always came up with some flimsy excuse. He couldn’t just tell you he was the Batman, and besides, the mystery of it all was surely an ego thing for him.

You landed outside your house a moment later, the dark suit encompassing Batman just intimidating enough for you to almost take a step back as he rumbled, “You should be more careful. Especially at night.”

But you couldn’t take his warning seriously.

Your best friend wasn’t avoiding you, he didn’t hate you, he just had a secret!

You were too ecstatic to pay his advice any mind.

And so you simply wrapped him in a hug, your arms erupting into goosebumps against the cold armor that he wore, “Thanks, Brucie.”

#Super Babe Original Content #super babe: fanfic #Bruce Wayne x reader #batman x reader #batman #Bruce wayne #Dc #batfamily #dcu #Dc fanfiction #batfamily fanfic #Once again this is just an old oneshot that I like more than I should lmao #Obligatory mobile apologies #And tag apologies #Idk what I’m doing with my life but ig this is happening so #Yeah #idk man #idk

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themillsdaughter · 3 years

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Okay, so I have thoughts on the bensler reunion and feel like if I don’t write it somewhere, it’ll just become one of those subjects one ruminates over for the rest of their lives until they become bitter and old and shake their fist in silent rage.

Twitter is filled with people who haven’t watched it yet, hence me posting about this here after years of being inactive in this fandom. if anyone’s interested, I’d love to chat about this too, but in case it isn’t clear by now, major spoilers and unhappy ranting ahead.

Alright, first off, I feel like I should put a few disclaimers from the get-go: one, i have not watched the Organized Crime episode past the letter part bc who even has the energy, two, despite everything I say here, I do genuinely love the characters, and three, I was never, ever, ever fully on board with Stabler coming back. I thought it was a stupid idea since I first found out about it.

I mean, come on. It’s literally been ten years. Ten freaking years without any contact (do not get me started on that semper fidelis thing) and NOW they wanna bring him back? Now that Olivia is settled as the captain, now that she has moved on with her life and is finally as happy as she can? Are you kidding me? And not only that, I had a feeling the show wouldn’t handle all the emotional bagage as it should. SVU is one of my favorite shows, I’ve quite literally watched it for half of my life (even before I was even fluent in English). I love this show with a ferocity I can’t quite put into words, but it has, without a shadow of a doubt, been losing it’s power for at least a couple of seasons now, if not more.

As I said, I haven’t been participating in the fandom for some years, so I can’t speak as to why it’s been going a bit downhill, though I do have a suspicion that it has something to do with the fact that it’s been going on for, hahah, literally over two decades.

But anyways, that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say here is that I thought it was stupid to bring Elliot back. The show doesn’t need him. It might need the drama, but absolutely not him.

Either way, since what I think has no actual implication in the serious world of tv dramas, it was happening anyway and the thirteen-year-old bensler shipper in me could not help herself. I had to watch it.

I expected to be angry, I expected Olivia to go against her better judgement at least once because he asked pretty please. I expected them to share at least one kiss.

Only one of those expectations wasn't met (to my delight).

Two minutes into the episode, I was already yelling at the TV because I swore she was going to hug him when she first saw him. Thankfully, that didn’t happen, but the eye contact was already too much.

But nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for Kathy’s part in this episode. She was hurt. Someone tried to kill her. Uh-uh.

Thinking from a creative point of view, it does make sense. She’s been his wife for god knows how many years now, he’s involved with some pretty big crimes, someone wanted to kill him, she was colateral. Beautiful, classic, awesome.

What does not make sense is how the episode was set up. WHY should we feel this anguish, this great sadness over Kathy? Sure, we’ve known about her for as long as Elliot was on the show, that is, since the very beginning. But, and I’m sorry to repeat this again, IT HAS BEEN TEN YEARS. The viewers attachment to Kathy is a very very thin thread.

And yes, I do understand that the point was to focus on Elliot’s loss, on his pain, his fear of losing his wife, the mother of his children. However, that wasn’t even properly done, either. Were they in love again? He said they were happy, but how so? Where were they at in their love story? Were they a family again, were they facing problems? Were they distant, but still married? The show didn’t answer any of that, so, when she passes (which, to be honest, was predictable), that’s that. She’s dead. Elliot cries, Liv’s in shock. Okay.

Granted, it was the very first episode of his return, I cannot speak over what will be revealed in later episodes of either shows, but I personally feel that we weren’t given enough to feel. It was all based on the expectation that we would remember everything that happened and that we would still have the same attachment to everything.

And now we get to the duo of the hour: Olivia still-in-love-with-the-same-man-who-abandoned-her-a-decade-later Bensler and Elliot agressive-man-but-with-a-tinsy-bit-of-more-control Stabler.

Here I do admit that part of my frustration is my own fault. I wished, prayed, hoped and desperately wanted Liv to get angry. To give him some sort of verbal smack-down for what he did. Yes, it makes perfect sense for her to just shut it out as best she can. It’s Liv we’re talking about, so that’s very in character for her, but it still didn’t give me the satisfaction I feel we deserved to see her tell him to go to hell. (Furthermore, I think it would have been a fantastic way to showcase how much she’s grown without him. Yes, she used to be soft with him, but now she’s assertive, she wants more for herself, she knows she deserved more than what he did).

The tears, the apology, the hug in the hospital.... it was all....fine. It was fine. It was them. It just lacked something more. It lacked some sort of spark.

Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to love their reunion despite myself. I wanted to be wrong and watch a beautifully executed, messy, sweet reunion of the ship which literally made me join fandom life, learn about fanfiction and learn English. I wanted that more than anything, but I didn’t expect it.

What I expected was exactly what I got. I smelled that scene of Elliot begging her to let him in the interrogation room, giving her those Puss In Boots eyes and Olivia just folding from the minute they announced his return. And it made me angry, because the whole message they’ve been sending us through all these seasons, of Liv growing into the main character, into someone who wasn’t El’s partner anymore, into a f***ing Captain was backpaddled real quick.

And yeah, there is something to be said about the effect he will always have on her, no matter how many years. But is that really what she, as a character, deserves? Is that even healthy?

I probably have more thoughts, but this is far, far too long already.

In general, the episode was fine. It wasn’t awful. it was also not great. Do I wanna watch the rest? No. Will I? Probably.

Oh, and just before I go: WHAT THE F*** WAS UP WITH FIN???? HELPING HIM OUT??? TELLING ELLIOT UNSOLICITED INFORMATION ABOUT LIV’S LIFE??? ABOUT HER LOVE LIFE??? Yeah, sure, he was a bensler shipper, whatever, but excuse me??? You’ve actively participated in her life for twenty years and think it’s healthy to try and make her patch up with a man who just, in her own words, DISAPPEARED?

Love the dude, wanted Olivia to yell at him too.

Anyways, if anyone made it this far and feels like talking about it, I am absolutely open to that.

#bensler #svu #olivia benson #elliot stabler #rant #bensler reunion

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oppabimbab · 4 years

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sequel: did we make it right? | kim taehyung

genre: heavy angst, tiny bit of smut, break up

starring: taehyung x reader

synopsis: you broke up with him and the phase of moving on—you didn’t know it would be this hard. You wanted him here but somehow, it feels like letting go is the best and the only choice you had in your hands, isn’t it? or not?

words: 8,972 words

side note: so this sequel happened since yall cried bc of prev fics and many of you wanted the second part of that. here we go. sorry for the grammar errors and any kind of faulty. i tried my best to keep the plot as it was planned and i still think this isn’t my best edits yet but enjoy!

recommended songs: moon and back - alice kristiansen | run to you - lea michele

related: maybe, it wasn’t right | kim taehyung

You had no idea that moving on would be this hard. It has been almost 6 months since the relationship ended and these past 6 months—were never that easy. It was harder than everyone have told you about. They said it would be easy but not once you found yourself in a right state of mind. They said everything will be just fine but you still found yourself in the midst of grief. 6 months—You never knew that time flew this quick even though every day felt like nothing but misery to you.

Break up wouldn’t be easy. And you agreed. It was a torture.

There were some part of healing that you didn’t understand. It was weird and confusing. Some days, you find yourself laughing and smiling like you had the entire world in your hands. You ate well, get enough sleep and happy. And some days, you would stopped talking to anyone—not even your bestfriend Wendy and locked yourself up in that stuffy room. You woke up with swollen eyes and broken heart like the wound was still fresh and bleeding. It was heavy and difficult. It made you confused and clueless. It became more confusing when you couldn’t find any reasons to move on if everything reminded you of him.

You tried to avoid his favorite songs every time it came on the radio. You changed the channel if his favorite movies shown up on the screen. You even stopped looking at everything that remind you of him. You forced yourself even it was really hard not to curl on your bed and cry. They were all a torture.

Honestly, if you asked yourself, you would agree that it still hurts like hell. The pain was still there, reminding you every day how unwanted you were. The memories on that night kept pulling your skin and made it bleed—reminding you that he wasn’t yours from the very first start. It still torn you down and drained the energy that was barely there. You couldn’t remember how many times the ugly tears would fall down in a very random place.

You were having the casual night, watching some movies with Wendy then the next second, she was there—patting your back as you bawled your eyes out because you remembered him. You wanted him, here.

Let alone when you needed to take few minutes break from your work at the office just to spend some tears inside the toilet—thinking how cruel he was for making you like this. He was really cruel.

You wondered—how was he? Did he cried when you left? Did he go through those sleepless nights like you did? Perhaps, did he ever think of you when he heard your favorite songs? Was he in pain, just like you?

6 months have passed yet It was never that easy to forget him.

When nights fall, you would silently scrolled down to the old messages you have shared with him. Taehyung was a bad texter. He hated texting because he said he preferred to see you more than doing the dry text all day. Once, both of you got into argument because of how bad he was.

“Are you serious?” you frowned at him—crossing your arms while you stood there. You weren’t happy now and of course, he knew why.

“What?” he chuckled as he munched on his favorite snacks, watching his favorite movies. Probably confused as hell why were you acting like this at 11pm. You rolled your eyes.

“You said you would text me when you got home yesterday? But you didn’t?” you pouted—scrolling through the messages from yesterday before you looked back at him. He raised his eyebrows.

“I didn’t? I thought i did?” he grinned and just like that, he was really a bad texter.

“Baby!! I got worried for nothing. I thought you were kidnapped,” you thumped your feet softly on the ground—trying to protest at him like an annoying clingy girlfriend.

He let out a hearty laugh at you. His eyes disappeared when he laughed and weirdly, you loved that. You hid the smile that was slowly plastering your face.

“Who would want to kidnap me though?I’m big and huge, unlike you,” he scrunched his nose at you, probably amused at you and your sudden clingy self. Your eyes widen at him, almost choking at his choice of words. A small laugh escaped your mouth.

“Big? Are you really that big?” you mocked while squinting your eyes. Taehyung hated it when that tone came out from your mouth. He cocked his brows. A grin showed up on his lips.

“Don’t act like you don’t know. Or should I remind you?” he bit his lower lip before pulling you closer to him. You squealed when he made you sit on his lap when you supposed to be mad—making him giggled at your quirky squeal as he planted hundreds kisses on your jaw—stroking your hips softly. You couldn’t help but laughing.

“Hmmm. You smell so good. Did you change your shampoo?” he mumbled through the kiss. You slapped his shoulder and looked down at his hooded eyes. A happiness bloomed in your heart at the sight. Nothing fancy. Just his presence was enough. Crazy.

“So, you’re going to change the subject again like you did last time?”

“Yes,” he grinned. You groaned jokingly. Taehyung knew your weak spot and he never failed to use that. And you weren’t complaining either.

When the memories came up, you were left helpless and vulnerable again and again. You wished it never ended. You wished the memories shouldn’t be called memories because you wanted to feel it everyday.

There were a lot of them and every day, you would remember it like a diary. His pictures—he loved to send you those random pictures of him, his dog Yeontan and sometimes, those things that remind him of you. 2k pictures from him—you still kept them nicely inside your phone.

You would read those old messages from him without realising a trail of tears were streaming down in the corner of your eyes. You didn’t realise the same tears kept you company every night without fail. He was gorgeous. You missed his raspy laughter. The way he pinned his body against yours because you were cold. Those sleepy voice echoed through the room when he woke up next to you—begging you to stay with him for few more minutes.

And just like that, the entire night was spent with the silent cry from your mouth. It happened everyday and you didn’t know how to make this stop.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him. Fucking asshole,” Wendy groaned in frustrations while you were beside her—sobbing. The first few weeks of break up, you chose to keep quiet about it because you had no energy to tell anyone about this. And when you decided to tell her, of course, she was mad. As hell.

“If he still wants that girl so much, why the fuck did he date you for 1 fucking year? Are you kidding me? Did you look like a joke? Oh god,” her eyes were gleaming with fire as she couldn’t hide the anger in her voice. The scrambled egg was left cold because she lost her appetite already. That morning felt intense and gloomy than ever. Wendy was a very straight forward woman. Even you were here sobbing like a crazy woman, she cursed the fuck out whenever she pissed off.

You shrugged, wiping your eyes with the tissues.

“Maybe if I was enough-“

“Enough? For god sake, you are more than enough. You gave everything you had, what else did he want?” her voice soften when she noticed your flushed face. As she came closer, she pulled you into her tiny embrace. Again, you broke down. You wished she was right. You wished you had given everything.

“Babe, you are the kindest person I have ever met in my entire life. You are beautiful, gentle and selfless. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. You don’t deserve this,” her voice broke a little when she heard you crying. She was a very sensitive person because the next second, you heard her tiny sob. You hope somebody could feel what was inside your heart now.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know, Wendy. I’m really sad,” she rubbed your back softly as you forced yourself to talk. It felt like a huge chunk just got stucked in your throat. You couldn’t talk.

“Please take your time. It will be okay. It should be okay, I promise you,” she whispered.

Months have passed. Will it be okay?

You leaned against the leather seat as you finished the last document for the day. It was a long day yet you be able to survive it even in such state. You gave a soft pat on your shoulder before gathering all the paper works to give to your boss before you leave. It was already Friday. Time flew quicker than you imagined.

Switching off the computer and grabbing your stuffs, you counted the steps to the huge room, few metres from your desk before you knocked on the door. A soft hum was heard few seconds later and you entered it.

“Good evening, sir. Here is the edited financial reports that you’ve requested before. I’ve made a few edits and please let me know if there is more faulty,” you cracked a soft smile across your lips as you put the plastic file on the table. You tried to sound professional as much as you could do even in this messy state of mind. You glanced at the young man—standing at the book shelf.

“Good work, thank you,” he nodded. A soft smile appeared on his lips as he looked at you. You returned the same thing to him while you stood there, at the edge of the his desk.

“If that’s all, I’m leaving first, sir. Thank you for today,” you bowed politely before you turned your heels. Few steps ahead and he called you again. You looked back at him and this time, he was already leaning against the desk, crossing his arms on the chest—staring at you with frowned brows.

“Can I ask you something? I hope it’s not something personal to you,” Mingyu voiced out—looking straight into your tired and confused eyes. You sure everyone could see how tired you were because you didn’t plan to hide it either. It drained your energy to fake anything now.

“Sure. What’s it, sir?”

“Are you okay?” his voice soften along with his eyes—gazing at you like a melted honey. The tension frown disappeared from his face and it was replaced by a worried gaze. You were a little surprised at his question especially when he looked at you like he knew something was bothering you. It looked like he knew something was wrong with you.

Mingyu has been always that kind of person and you were fully aware about that. The relationship you shared with him was fully business and you barely talked to each other once the office hours ended but sometimes, it felt more than that.

The way he guided you during your first few months as his clumsy secretary, the way he spoke to you even you screwed up too many times, the way he handled those mistakes caused by you—you knew Mingyu was a very gentle person. Rather than making himself as that cold and egoistic boss, he made sure that you could look up to him every time you were in need. Even so, you didn’t want to see his kindness as something that involved love like everyone claimed—deep inside, he treated everyone just as nice as he treated you.

He was a gentleman—with maturity. For real, you couldn’t ask anything more than that because that was enough.

You finally get it why Taehyung disliked him. You flinched slightly, trying to get him off your mind.

“Yes. Of course I am,” you faked a laughter even his eyes were striking into yours, completely unconvinced with your lies. He exhaled, silent for few seconds.

“You’ve lost your focus these past few months. I don’t know, you did your job perfectly but something is off. Are you okay? Is there something bothering you?” His voice has soften a bit—he probably noticed the changes on your face which was something you wanted to hide.

“I’m really sorry, sir. I will do it better next time,” honestly, you had no idea what exactly should you reply to that? Were you okay? Were you good? Definitely not. He shook his head, still unconvinced.

“That’s not answering my question,”

“Uhm,” you hesitated. Your lips turned into thin line.

“Actually, there are few things that have been bothering me but they are minors. I’m completely fine....yes, everything is just fine. Maybe it’s me being easily tired but really, i’m good. Don’t worry, sir,” you tried to sound convincing to someone that observant like Mingyu. He was really sensitive to little changes. You didn’t know he noticed those changes in yourself more than you did.

“If you need days off, please ask me for that. I don’t want you to overwork yourself too much. You’re important,” he looked serious without any hint of smile on his face as his eyes never left yours. His eyes were so intense and you wonder, why was that? Mingyu had such beautiful pair of deep eyes and you couldn’t deny that.

When he noticed a small smile crept on your lips, he spoke again.

“....as my secretary. You’re important to this company,” he corrected himself while adjusting his throat—his eyes immediately left yours as you still stared at him with a small smile. You chuckled—looking down to your feet. He was oddly cute for some reason.

“I know, sir. I appreciate that. But, i’m really fine. I still can go to work tomorrow. I can stay overtime if you want me to,” you smiled at him sincerely—showing off the beautiful smile you barely shown to anyone these past few months. But, this time, you find yourself loosened up for something very weird.

A small raspy giggle left his mouth as he shook his head. Mingyu got off from the edge of the table before he came to the desk to clean up the papers and stuff. You supposed, he was about to leave so you waited for him to finish.

“That’s good to hear. I’d like my best worker back....Alright, that’s all for today, You can leave now,” he flashed you another soft smile. You bowed politely.

When you thought it finally came to end, he called you again. This time—he came closer to you, towering your petite figure under his built. His scent—sweat and cologne filled up your sense, making you looked up at him.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yeah, kind of,”

“Great. Dinner’s on me tonight,” he grinned before he left you alone in the empty room—completely speechless at his sudden gesture. That was quick and random.

“But, sir I-,”

“You can’t say no to your boss, can you?” his voice echoed through the office as he already few steps ahead from you. That was it. You couldn’t say no to your boss, could you?

For few moment, you felt comfort. A sincere one.

The whole ride was filled with soft music from his radio along with the soft breeze, coming from outside. None of you both started any conversation since 10 minutes ago. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable but it felt more like both of you were enjoying this silence.

“Do you have any plan tonight? I mean...you know, it’s Friday,” when you were too immersed in such silence, he spoke out—bringing you back to the reality after been lost in your own thoughts. God knows how many time you have spaced out like this. You despised this side of you.

“Uhm, no honestly. I’m planning to eat then sleep until next morning,” you replied while letting out a faded chuckle. The next second, you immediately realised how pathetic that sounded like. Mingyu must be thinking that you were such an anti social and depressed bitch. But, you has always been like this since forever.

He giggled while nodding.

“I don’t know why but I kinda knew you would say that. That sounds very of you,” his deep husky voice filled up the car space along with the small laughter coming out from his mouth. You glanced at him, hiding a smile. You weren’t sure if he already recognised your traits for these past 2 years of working together but for some reason, it was kinda cute that he noticed the littlest thing about you.

“You can’t stop me,sir” you replied, almost chuckling with him.

“Can you do me a favor? Drop the honorific when the office hours ended. I think it’s better that way, it’s not like we are discussing about that annoying client we hated the most though,” he said in a very straight voice.

Without you realised, the car was filled with your laughter when you couldn’t hold yourself from laughing at his remarks. That was the most random shit you have ever heard from him. Mingyu looked surprise but a soft chuckle left his mouth.

“I can’t believe you said that. You hate her too? I thought it’s only me who hated her for no reason,” it was hard for you to utter the words as you were still laughing—covering your mouth with the back of your hand. He nodded with a grin across his lips.

When you have calmed down, he spoke again.

“Can you do that?” he met your eyes. Curling your lips, you nodded.

“I’ll try, Mingyu,” you hid a smile. His small dimple appeared right away—eyebrows raised.

“Without doubt, huh?” he teased. Again, the car was filled with nothing but his small chuckle and your soft smile.

The weird thing is, you felt a warmth for the first time from someone you had the least expectations from.

When both of you arrived at the restaurant, it was packed and crowded—completely something that you hated the most. The last time you went to such place was few weeks ago, thanks to Wendy’s pushy ass.

Both you and Mingyu came inside—finding a table to grab a dinner and go. But, it seemed like it wouldn’t happen because when you looked around, you found that eyes again. Out of those stranger eyes, you would still find that eyes again. Eyes that you have lost.

You saw his boxy smile—twinkling like it always does while his eyes—gleaming with the same sparkle. They were beautiful and painfully gorgeous that you almost forgot everything around you. Again, the universe seemed it was fading away from you.

But, he wasn’t alone. She was there—with him. The woman whom you wished you wouldn’t be seeing again—sharing the same smile and laughter—with him. Those gazes, you sure, they were filled with love.

The wound inside your chest, it was ripped open again.

Everything about this was tiring. Your body was tired. Your mental was tired. Your soul—it died. You tried to comprehend and see the good things from this stage of your life but why did it seem like nothing would work out? Why were you still here, alone with the same wound again?

It was unfair. Why was it only you, who suffered the pain of this break up? Why did it look like none of these things affect him as much as it did to you? Why did your heart still ache so much like this even 6 months have passed? There were so many questions that held you like a knife—stabbing you for the same reason again and again.

The same warm tears fell down—wetting your face for millionth times as you found yourself to be sitting on the bench at a park, not to far from the restaurant. The people seemed to be freaked out since you were there—sobbing silently like a weak bitch even you have told yourself to stop being this weak. Nothing worked out. None of them.

Honestly, you hated this. There were so many changes in yourself and you hated that.

“I found you,” the familiar voice echoed through the cold space before you looked up at your side with tears streaming down to your chin.

There was Mingyu—breathless as he tried to catch some breath from running too much. He must be running around to find you since you left the restaurant in just blink of eyes. Silence filled the gap between you and him while he stared at you and your pathetic self. It was embarassing and you wanted to disappear.

He heaved a soft sigh before slowly making the gap disappeared as he sat next to you.

“So, I believe, that thing, it bothered you these past few weeks? Your boyfriend?” he spoke and from the corner of your eyes, you could feel his gaze glued at you. With these swollen eyes and state, how the hell could you look at him?

“Ex boyfriend,” you replied. He nodded.

“I understand,” he exhaled, taking his eyes off you and looked around as if he let you to calm yourself down from the tragic sobbing. He probably noticed that you wanted to hide yourself from him so he looked away, letting both of you immersed in a night silence.

“It is hard and complicated,” without you realised, you spoke out in such a defeated voice. It was still vulnerable. And Mingyu finally saw that side of you.

He curled his lips.

“Break up will always be difficult. Don’t believe it when they say it’s not,” he met your teary eyes. His gaze was soft and dreamy. He probably saw all the pain in them that he chose to keep staring at you.

“I don’t want to let him go. I don’t want to forget him. Not yet. Not forever. It’s crazy,” you wiped the remaining tears in the corner of your eyes using the back of your hands as you looked down to the ground.

“Do you still love him?” he spoke as he looked straight to the busy streets across the park. You nodded as the remaining tears stained your cheeks. After all these while, you didn’t care anymore. You didn’t care if he find you weird—crying over someone like this even in fact, you shouldn’t have anymore.

“Aren’t you hurted? By still holding on to the past?” Mingyu cocked his head at you. His brown orbs were shining under such dim street lights above both of you. They were blinking like a pearl, something you have never seen it before. Rather than looking disgusted or uncomfortable, you could see a hint of reassurance in them eyes.

“It hurts so bad, Mingyu,” your voice cracked as you felt his gaze seemed never left yours before he exhaled. He looked up to the sky and sighed again.

“You know, there is a thing that I strongly disagree since forever. They said love is about timing, where you found your soul mate at the right time and be happy, also at the right time....” he stopped. There was a short silence.

Then he filled the air with his voice again.

“....but I believe, love is about what has been written for you,” a faded smile appeared again.

“It will always be difficult to get over someone.... whom you thought would be here with you for the rest of your life,” he added.

“...but you know, love isn’t about staying until the end. It’s not always about holding on from the beginning. Sometimes....it’s about letting go even it’s going to break every parts of you,”

When both of you found each other’s eyes—you could feel your heart clenched so much that it suffocated you to the edge. You felt every pieces of you were scattered all over the place again because deep inside, you knew it was true. You wanted to deny but It was painfully true. Fuck this.

“No, please,” curling yourself, you sobbed into your hands. Everything about this was hard. You weren’t ready. The next second, you felt his warmth beside you as he scooted closer. The same cologne filled your sense before he whispered.

“Can I hug you? To ease the pain even a little?” you weren’t supposed to hug your own boss but weird thing, you found yourself nodding at him. Probably, begging for some comfort that been slowly losing from your system. And, Just like that, you were so deep in his embrace—in an embrace that wasn’t Taehyung’s.

Part of you was so in pain. You wished it was him, hugging you this way. You wished it was him—comforting you this way because world knows, everything will be just fine. But, he wasn’t here anymore and you weren’t sure how to get used to that.

You pulled Mingyu closer to you and sobbed on his chest—like you did to yourself every nights. He wrapped his arms around you, securing you like he never wanted you to fall apart like this. It felt like he knew how painful it was so he was there, to put the scattered pieces, back as a whole.

It was weird. You knew there was a goodbye few months ago when you chose to leave but now, why did it feel like everything was finally over? It felt like you have lost that 1 chance and hope—leaving you this helpless.

“Let the grief go and set him free. You deserve to be happy. Genuinely happy,” he whispered—pulling you closer.

You sobbed. He was your happiness but it seemed like you need to replace it with a new one.

Another 2 months have passed. Nothing has changed drastically in your life except the fact that Mingyu has become a new part of your life. You couldn’t believe that night would be the night where both of you went deeper than you had before. He wasn’t yours and you weren’t his but the relationship has changed especially when he helped you moving on. Mingyu knew how and when to be gentle whenever you were around. It looked like he studied every little about your traits and tried to get along with it without disrespecting you in some kind of way.

You appreciate his presence so much. His presence was new yet comfortable—that you were still trying to get adjusted to it even sometimes, you got confused and lost. The weird part—Mingyu was the opposite side of Taehyung.

He loved to cook whenever he had the chance to do so and surprisingly, was good at it. He was huge fan of romance and melancholy genre—you still remembered when he kept you company, watching the same cliche kdramas without whining and complaining about how sucks the genre is.

He loved the smell of pastry—he loved the beauty of the evening sky—he loved the sound of the ocean. Those things that you barely heard from your ex. Indeed, there were new.

Some days, it felt perfect. Almost perfect. The heart break was slowly taken away from you and your days started to fill with laughter and smile. The heaviness in your heart got lifted for a moment, leaving you with nothing but a temporary happiness. It was genuine, all because of him. And you didn’t plan to push him away because there was some part of you, longing for his presence but you had no idea on what reason.

“Are you serious?” your eyes got widen as your gaze was glued on his face that had grin all over it. He curled his lips and nodded before taking the usual monthly reports from you.

The dried saliva in your throat was swallowed forcefully—making him chuckled.

“You’re asking me to go to a party with you? I supposed it isn’t a good idea, sir,” you kept the professionalism as both of you were still in the office—the boss and the worker but you couldn’t hide the tone that coming out along with the words. He shrugged.

“I couldn’t attend it last year and I don’t plan to do that again. And also, I don’t plan to go there by myself either,” he sounded very casual and straight forward—completely ignoring your widen eyes. A slight hum from you filled the space.

“That sounds sad,” you scoffed jokingly before you took back the signed report from him. His small dimple appeared.

“I guess that’s a yes? Great, you sure know what’s the best,”

“Hey, I didn’t say anything,”

“Okay, are you coming with me?” he crossed his arms—showing off his veiny arms while raising the eyebrows at you. For some reason, your heart thumped at the sight because he sure looked hot. You adjusted your throat as you looked back at him.

“I’m coming,” you said, almost rolling your eyes because he definitely knew you were going to say yes—as you witnessed a small satisfied smile plastered on his lips. He looked fierce yet soft, you don’t understand.

“Great. I’m going to pick you up tomorrow, at 8. Are we good?”

“We good, sir,” you scrunched your nose at him before you excused yourself to leave. He gave you a thumbs up as you left

You weren’t sure if he made you come as his secretary or something more than that.

You couldn’t help the nervous sweat that have been wetting your hands when you saw how huge the party is. Now, you weren’t sure if the basic black dress that been wrapping your curvy figure was a good choice since everyone looked damn good. Is this make up okay? This hair?

“Mingyu, I feel uncomfortable,” you leaned closer to his side while whispering to his ear, as both of you walked inside the bar. Of course it was crowded with so many people that seemed to be his friends because each seconds, his name was called.

“Just stay with me, you’ll get used to this,” he whispered softly before you could feel his warm hand sealing yours as he guided you through the crowd. There wasn’t any response from you as you let him take you to anywhere he liked while he introduced you to anyone he bumped to. He wanted you to be by his side so bad because swear to god, his hand felt like glue—it was sealed perfectly inside yours.

“Now, let’s meet my friend. He’s over there,” Mingyu said with a grin to you as he took you to the corner—making your heels clank on the marble floor. Every steps felt like fire because your heart thumped for no reason. They were beating so hard that it made you anxious for nothing.

When you finally reached the table, a gush of air left your lungs immediately when you saw him. Again.

It made you freeze on the ground—making you stood there like a statue as you felt all of the gazes were glued on you. You didn’t give any damn about anyone at the table because the only matters right now was his gaze—it felt like a fire on your body. You met his eyes again after the last time it broke you. He looked surprise to see you here, standing across him, in someone’s hand. Perhaps, he thought you were so in love and happy with someone new. Your heart thumped at the sight before you looked away.

“Thanks for inviting us, bro, it’s been a long time since I met you. Oh and this is my date for tonight,” Mingyu spoke as a proud grin plastered all over his face—greeting those people at the table without noticing you were completely out of zone. Wooshik greeted him back before he averted his attention at you.

“You look good like you always do. I’m glad you come,” he smiled—making you return the same thing. Of course he knew you. He was around when you dated Taehyung. Wooshik witnessed your journey with him until it ended. You glanced at Seojun and Hyungsik, who were also flashing you a soft smile. Those guys, it felt weird to see them after the break up.

“Thank you, Wooshik. The party is great,” clenching into your small pouch, you scooted closer to Mingyu, tugging his arms around yours—completely ignoring Taehyung’s eyes on you even it almost made your legs become wobbly and shit. Mingyu smiled at your gesture because he knew what was inside your mind. Without any doubt, he took your hands inside his. The atmosphere changed. There was a short silence.

“Enjoy the party, you two. Let me know if you need something,” Wooshik spoke—there were changes in his face, he probably finds it weird that you were now in someone else’s arms instead of his friend. You were sure everyone finds it’s weird that both you and him were no longer together in just blink of eyes even yesterday the world saw how deep the love was. It was indeed weird because the next thing you realised, you were in different home.

Every sips of alcohol that glided into your throat felt like nothing but a poison. The crowded place were damn noisy and full of emotions but you were here at the corner with the emptiest heart instead of having fun—like Mingyu have always told you. You should be having fun tonight but it seemed like nothing ever worked out on you.

It’s crazy that both of you were in a same place but the distance felt way too significant. He was over, probably happy and in love. You were over here with your empty heart.

Somehow, you hated him so much. Why would he always come up whenever you were at your peak—building yourself back? Why would those images of them two slapped you—shoving the damn thorns and blood to your heart whenever you were trying to be fine?

“Are you okay?” you flinched a little when the warm whisper touched your ears before you find Mingyu, by your side. Every time you looked at him, you couldn’t help but feel bad. How the hell could he still keep up with your sudden mood swings and bullshits like this? The weird part, he always treated at you like the whole world belonged to you.

“Yeah. I’m good,” you replied—forcing a smile. It was very artificial. He curled his lips as he stared into your eyes without saying anything. Both of you exchanged such an intense eye contacts for few moments before he took your hand—gesturing you to dance with him. You were left in hesitation but just like always, you would say yes.

His hand, you let them sealed with yours. The next second, you realised that he took you to the center of the bar before the warmth from his arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled you closer to his body. Your whole body froze when his deep eyes strike into yours when you looked up. Mingyu was tall that your petite figure almost got disappeared inside his embrace.

“Put your hands on my chest,” he whispered down at you—making you slowly do as what he told you. You weren’t sure if everyone was looking at both of you but the thing is, your skin—it tingled.

“Have I told you that you look beautiful today?” after such silence, he spoke again.

Chills running down your spine when he added.

“You look amazing in this dress. I think I’m falling in love,”

When he said that,it felt like there was a huge chunks in your throat because you barely can breathe when your sense came back. The courage to look at him was gone immediately when you finally understand what he just said.

“Mingyu...” you whispered—trying to make this conversation as clear as possible. He needed to repeat himself because you were afraid that you might be wrong even you heard him crystal clear. His hands slid behind your back to pull you closer—making your face was few inches away from him.

“Please...let me love you,” he said.

“Mingyu, what are you saying?” you whispered back at him.

“I know, I know. This is too sudden for you but please....let me love you. Let me heal you,” he looked down, breaking the eye contact from you. There was a desperation in those eyes, leaving you without words. He sounded needy and desperate. After all these while, you never know he was in love with you. You had no idea, not even once.

“How can we do this? We barely know each other. I’m scared,” you spoke to him—finding his eyes again. The more you stared at him, the more it made you confused you—how couldn’t you see that before? They were obvious.

“We can make this work, I promise you. We can do this. Gosh, I love you so much,”

A small smile appeared on his lips. Mingyu was one gorgeous man. He spoke with his eyes and heart.

Silence filled the gap.

“Can I kiss you?”

You wanted to say no but the next second, you found yourself nodding at him. You wanted to get off from his arms but you let him touch you even deep inside, your heart felt heavy.

The next second, you felt his lips against yours. They were sealed perfectly, spreading his warmth against your trembling lips. Mingyu secured his arms on your back when he noticed you were stumbling on your feet as the kiss deepen. His lips felt nice but why were your heart still empty? Why didn’t you feel any emotions in your heart when he kissed you like this? The worst part—why did you still have Taehyung’s image in your mind even after all these while?

The kiss lasted for few seconds before Both of you pulled away from each other and panted hard. You looked down to your feet—catching some air and a piece of reality. Time has froze around you, you couldn’t really process anything about this yet.

“Don’t touch her,” before you could get back to your sense, you felt a tight grip around your arms—pulling you away from Mingyu.

There was Taehyung, standing so close here as he glared at him with so much fire in his deep eyes. His eyes were already that deep but with fire, they were really intimidating. His jaw clenched a lot, his body tensed up with anger. Your eyes widen at him. Why was he here?

“Don’t fucking touch her again,” he grunted like a tiger before taking your hand and took you away from the place. There was nothing come out from your mouth as you followed him to anywhere he wanted to bring you.

You shouldn’t do that but you did.

“Let me go!!! What the hell are you doing?” you screamed at him when you were stumbling on the ground—almost hurting your feet. Few more steps, he let you go.

“What are you doing with him?” Taehyung grunted under his breath—his chest pound like he was holding such anger. You frowned at him.

“Why do you care so much? Let me go,” you spat as you tried to push him away but unlucky you, he was way much stronger

“Why are you kissing him? Why did you let him touched you?!” his jaw clenched a lot as he found your eyes even in such dark alley. You used to see sparkle in them but this time, it was a fire and you had no idea why would he act this way when everything was over now?

“It’s none of your business, Taehyung! Everything that happen in my life, you don’t need to know. Go kiss your girlfriend and leave me alone,” you yelled even your legs almost turn wobbly because of his fiery eyes. The words felt like thorns in your mouth and his presence still affected you this much, he probably knew that.

He looked stunned.

“After all these while, why do you care so much about me? I thought you said you wanted her but why are you here, dragging me from him? Why?” the quiet alley was filled with your fiery voice between you and him.

“Look.....I know, I know...I’ve fucked everything about us. Everything we had. I get it why it you are this mad because....gosh, this is crazy,” he ran his fingers through his wavy hair while sighing to the cold air. He sounded so frustrated and guilty that it made you become more furious.

“Oh for god sake, please. I don’t want your sorry. Just never show up again, please. You don’t know how hard it is for me to erase you from my life. You hurted me, Taehyung...” you stopped for a while because fuck this, the same tears were pooling in your eyes again.

The painful memories showed up again.

“...You broke me so much. So please, leave me alone. I’m tired,” You weren’t sure if those words were true. You weren’t sure if you really wanted him to leave you alone.

You thought the conversation was over when there was barely any response from him but the next second, he pulled you and pinned you against the cold wall of the small alley—trapping you between his arms. A small whimper escaped your mouth at the cold contact while his face was only few inches away from you that you could his hot minty breath. Teary eyes to such deep pair of eyes. What a moment.

“I never wanted to hurt you like this,”

“You probably get sick of me already but for the remaining minutes, I wanted you to know that—every part of me, never wanted to bring so much pain to you, like this,” you caught his eyes even it was really dark. They have soften. There was no more anger and fire. Don’t know why but It made your heart clench even more.

“Are you still in love with me?” out of sudden, he asked you.

“Why does that matter now?” your voice faded.

“Say that you don’t love me anymore and I will let you go to him. Say that so I know.....when you go back home, there is no more piece of me that would hurt you like this,” his eyes tremble. Fear and pain. Tears pooled again in your eyes. The blood could stain your lips from bitting it too much.

When you couldn’t answer it, he spoke again.

“Push me away if that’s the answer,”

And just like that, he crashed his mouth against yours. The kiss was deep—deeper than the last time you had with him when you chose to let him go. His lips—that was 8 months ago since you got to taste it and they still have the same flavour. Sweet and addictive. Like a drug. Taehyung grunts in the kiss as deepen the kiss by pulling your face closer—savouring your mouth like he missed it.

You hated yourself. You knew you already had the answer for Mingyu’s question because the next thing you realised, you didn’t push Taehyung away. Instead, you kissed him back like tomorrow doesn’t exist.

“Ah!!” a sweet erotic moan escaped your mouth as he planted trail of kisses along your bare chest—sucking and biting into the flesh, leaving some marks on your body. His kisses were rushed yet it never stopped sending chills and tingles to every part of your skin.

He stopped kissing you as he pulled the wet panty from your hips—showing off the dripping liquid from the pussy. You moan to the air when the cold breeze touched your bare core that it immediately made you missed his warmth. He stared at you for few seconds before coming down to your wet entrance.

“Oh my god, Taehyung!” you screamed out loud as you felt his warm tongue all over the throbbing clit. He sucked on your clitoris while grunting and groaning which sent so much electricity to all over your body. Mouth opened, body arched—you called his name like it was the only thing in your mind. You lowered your gaze down at him while moaning, just to find his eyes—were looking straight into yours. Swear to god, you heart thumped a lot. You fisted into his hair—pulling him deeper.

When he thrusted his tongue inside your core, a gush of air left your lungs immediately, making you scream his name as he stared at you. That was hot and your pussy clenched for more. Taehyung kept licking, sucking, eating you out and you never know you have been missing this intimacy with him. He always make you feel good. This good.

A knot started to twirl in your lower abdomen whenever he thrusted his tongue into you with no mercy. It felt like heaven.

“I’m so close,” you cried out and not long after, you cummed—making him lick your juice all over your pussy without taking his eyes off you. That was really hot, you couldn’t contain the overwhelming cloud in your chest everytime you met his beautiful eyes.

Then, he got off from the bed to unbuckle the belt around his waist before undressed the pants from his body—leaving the huge bulge under the boxer to your sight. His cock was throbbing hard inside the fabric and when he pulled his boxer down, your pussy clenched for him. You wanted him to touch you again and do whatever he wanted to do with your body.

“Ride me,” he grunted before crawling back on the bed, sitting with his back on the headboard as he waited for you to climb on him. The veins along his neck and arms were making it’s hard for you to think straight. Your mouth felt dry.

Slowly, you crawled on top of him, sitting on his thigh as you placed your hands on his shoulder for support. Lips were bitten when you caught his eyes before you slowly placed his member on your entrace before sitting on them—burying it deep inside your tight and wet pussy. Taehyung groaned—staring at how deep he buried inside you while you were here with a breathy moan escaped from your mouth.

God, it felt so good. Your legs tremble at the sudden contact—making him secure his hands on your hips as you started to bounce and move your body on him. The pace was slow and intoxicating. He was really big and the fact that you needed to adjust to his size, you never knew it has been a while since he made love to you like this.

Squeezing your eyes, your chin was lifted to the air along with the scream and moan from your mouth. He grabbed onto your hips—making you move back and forth on his dick while groaning with you, so the room was filled with nothing else but the sound of skin slapping that got louder each time you buried himself in you. You’ve lost your mind, you couldn’t feel your legs anymore. Why did the pleasure feel much more stronger now when both of you were no longer together?

“Fuck. Oh fuck,” he grunted through gritted teeth, pulling you closer to deepen the thrusted. Chin up to the air, you cried his name out—digging your nails into his shoulder whenever he quicken the pace. His cock was slapping your weak spot over and over again. It drive you crazy.

“Taehyung....” you whined—the courage to look at him were suddenly gone as you felt your chest was somehow heavy.

When you realised that you be able to touch him again like this—you felt like you just woken up from such nightmare. You could feel his skin, his lips, his eyes against yours—after being so lost and alone. You’ve missed him so much but you had no idea it was this much.

Your cheeks were stained again. As he kept thrusting inside you, you couldn’t help the heavy cloud in your chest—making your silently sob on his shoulder. He wanted to look at you but you didn’t want to so you kept your face buried on his shoulder. You have lost that courage to see his eyes at times like this.

“You always feel this good. I’ve missed you,” he whispered along with a faint grunt—making you moan out loud with tears falling down from your eyes. It was a weird combination. Moaning and screaming his name in every thrusts, both of you were reaching the climax.

Few more thrust, he cum inside you—filling every space of your core with his warm release as your body jerked and flinched at the contact. Your legs felt like a jelly that you almost fell from him but he grabbed your hips right away.

Both you and Taehyung were panting hard on each other’s body after such intense and quick sex. You weren’t sure what was that sex for? Was this a goodbye sex or make up sex?

There was only silence but then, it was replaced with your small sob. The tears kept falling down from your eyes and stained his shoulder as you buried your face on the crook of his neck. The emotions that lingers in your head were too much, you couldn’t put it into words.

“Why are you doing this to me?” you spoke. A chill ran down in your spine as he stroke your hair softly while giving a soft rub on your hips using the other hand.

“Why are you making me like this, Taehyung! Tell me, you jerk!” you almost yelled before you pulled from him and punched his chest with your little might—trying to let go this slight anger in your chest. You pushed, punched and slapped his chest while sobbing like a crazy woman. He stared at you without saying anything before you finally stopped and became vulnerable again.

“Why did you make me fall this deep even I know, I can’t have you,” your voice crack.

He was cruel. He made you cry and now, he made you break Mingyu’s heart when that guy had nothing but love for you. But, after all these while, why did you still pick him instead of Mingyu? Why did your heart still want him, like this?

“I’m so sorry for hurting you like this,” he whispered—pulling your hands that covered your face before crashing his mouth again. He sucked on your lips like there was no tomorrow—probably get to taste the salty water from your eyes. The kiss lasted only for few seconds before he pulled away.

“I....I never knew that I wanted you this much until you left. Everything...everything felt so fucking empty when you aren’t here. Fuck, what did I do to us?” he took your face inside his hands. His deep eyes were trembling so much.

“You love her,”

“I was confused,”

“Don’t get it twisted, Taehyung,”

He shook his head.

“It made me angry to see you with him. I saw you that night...at the restaurant. I shouldn’t be mad but I did. I know he loved you and it drives me insane.The thoughts of you being with him, god, it’s crazy because I hate it,”

He wiped off the water from your eyes as he took every part of your face into his eyes. God, you’ve missed this. You thought you have lost it completely.

“What do you want, Taehyung?” a faint voice left your mouth.

“You. I want you. I know...what I did to you was too much. I know and I’m not asking you to forgive me now. But, let me fix this. Let me fix the broken parts of you,” his voice strained so much that you actually could feel his pain. Just as much as you do.

Tears prick again.

“I’d still want you even you ended up choosing her instead of me. That shit hurted but I’d still want you”

He shook his head, denying you immediately.

“Nothing happened between me and her ever since you left. The relationship wasn’t there because I couldn’t do it and she agreed for us to just stay as friends. Nothing more than that. She was my first love, yes but no matter how we tried, I realised that, my feelings for her were completely gone when you left. I thought it was her but no, baby. It was you,”

“Believe me, just this once,” he begged.

Swear to god, your heart bloomed like a spring. A small smile finally appeared on your lips as you stared at him. He talked sincerely with his eyes and you could see that. Twinkling and sparkling.

“I love you. I love you so much,”

He spoke and it felt genuine. You knew Taehyung wouldn’t be saying those words without actually meant it. You couldn’t remember when the last time he said that to you but listening to it again after a while, you were on a cloud nine.

You chest were full. The heaviness was gone in a blink of eyes. You nodded at him while biting down your lips before you wrapped your arms around his neck—burying your face on them.

“What took you so long to reply?” you whined softly.

He chuckled.

“I’m so stupid for taking this long,” his husky voice filled you.

“You are so stupid,” you sob—tighten your arms around him as if you didn’t want to let it go. Not anymore. Silence filled the space as both of you got immersed in such deep thoughts for a while.

“I love you too, Taehyung. I always do,” after a while, you finally got to let him know that. The sincere feeling that has been longing in you ever since you met him. It was still here to this day. Crazy.

“Can I date you?” he asked after few minutes of silence and without any doubt, you said nodded. He said the same thing to you before and it happened again. It felt like both of you just got back to the day 1.

Where both of you were young, reckless and in love. Perfectly right.

PS: I think I wanna open a fanfic request box. You guys can give me a request (genre: angst, smut, fluff) and I’ll make it happen (slowly, no tension). Also, ask me anything. I’m always opened for talk. And, thank you for enjoying this fanfic and its sequel. love u

#taehyung #kim taehyung #bts #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #break up #kpop imagines #bts smut #bts fanfics #namjoon #suga #yoongi #seokjin #hoseok #j-hope #jimin #jungkook #taehyung fanfic

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kyuus4ku · 3 years

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Bestiiii roast my big 333 plss

And go wild ;))

BESTIE HIII <3 omgkgjfj i am SO excited to do yours hehe

hi let me praise/roast your birth chart

sagittarius sun

i'm not kidding when i say you're literally one of my FAVOURITES. sag sun are just so fucking fun and amazing to talk to, and fuck i could talk to you guys FOR HOURS not only bc yall are great listeners but because you're so... accommodating? like i wouldn't be afraid to say the weirdest shit with you guys because you're so chill AND SKFBSJGKSKD I JUST LOVE YOUR SASS AND HUMOUR SO FUCKING MUCH <3 witty as fuck, but i could say you're a little quick-tempered, which can make you a little blunt with your words? it's not that you do on purpose, but fire signs are usually on-the-go type, so you need to have an outlet somewhere maybe? it really depends on your patience, nevertheless you are extremely bright, and ik sags were and always are capable of making me see the bright side of things, even if they're not very motivated themselves. are you addicted to things you're familiar with because the idea of change kinda scares you? uncertainty and the lack of clarity could just send you into a spiral sometimes, right? you're not set in your ways, you just feel like sometimes there are so many paths to choose from, and choosing just one path seems so fucking overwhelming. i may be wrong tho! nevertheless, you guys are understanding, and even if you don't understand someone's state of mind (due to how curious you are, you will eventually), you won't judge them for it. I JUST LOVE SAG SUNS SMDNFNSNSM

cancer moon

emotional/sentimental. you have a heart of gold that people are just jealous of/don't understand. i'd only be pissed at you for letting the wrong people steal your heart, because not many people know how to take care of it properly yk? YES I WILL BE PISSED AT U *HOLDS U BY THE CHEEKS TO LOOK INTO YOUR EYES* I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU'RE ENOUGH NO MATTER WHAT. sadness isn't something you're unfamiliar with. in fact, you feel it deeply, which just adds on to how compassionate you are. you wouldn't want other people to go through what you have, so helping another person out is something which gives you a sense of validation. ofc you only help people you give a damn about, which may or may not backfire. but god i will never stop telling you to take care of yourself first. cancer moons can be stereotyped as fragile, but fragile isn't a bad thing. you put on a front because you've been taken advantage of before, so you know what it's like to be backstabbeb and betrayed. so having a screen of protection is good, but be sure to let a little people in— isolation is never good for those who deal with deep, intricate emotions. water moon and a fire sun..... are you torn between trying to understand yourself and trying to suck it up because you think emotions are a waste of time sometimes? the sags ik hate messy, but having a cancer moon must make it a lil more confusing? IDKKSDSJ

libra rising

AHHHHHH YOURE A LIBRA RISING SHNFDBFJSN i've always seen libras as like the balancing sign of the zodiac. you guys are so versatile and adaptable, and one of the chillest placements ever. like, you'd know exactly how to respond to my chaotic energy, and your sense of making sure everyone feels included just adds to your charm. INDECISIVE? AJHDNSSB you can come across carefree and easy-going, and i mean that in a good way! because of that people find it easy to be around you, though i have to say libra placements are quite mysterious. it's like you wanna get to know one, but they're so quick to jump from one place to another, depending on how much of a social butterfly they are. i could say you're as reserved like capricorns, but your personality is so complex, just like scorpios, who are pretty much secretive, too. i'm know this one libra rising, and as much as he has lots of walls to break down before you get to know him and actually understand why he thinks the way he does, it just gets so easy to talk to him without any filter. i could say the same about u! like i don't know you that well, but i feel like i am really myself when i get to interact with you. you're just effortlessly understanding and empathetic, and all that stems from how much youve gone through. yk how people with hearts of gold tend to carry a painful past? yeah! something like that. libra risings are not judgmental, and sosososo sweet, and honestly, they deserve the world. PLUS UR FLIRTATIOUS SWEETHEARTS <33

#asks.txt #zodiac.asks #layout bestie >:)#THIS FEELS MORE LIKE A LOVE LETTER THAN AN ANALYSIS LMFAOOOOO SORRY BABE AHAHAHH

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yellowjavkets · 3 years

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Can you recommend non white and non American music?

Absolutely! I am so fucking excited to answer this ask, like u have no idea. I’m fucking thrilled. Some of these are american but all of these are bands of color or are fronted by people of color(I’m gonna italicize musicians that I know are lgbt also. just like. given my recent complaints)

Mashrou’ leila is a Lebanese rock band that has just like. god. the lyrics. I can’t believe I went so long in my life without knowing of them. Their songs are in Arabic, but the translations for most are very easy to find. My personal recs for songs by them to get you started are wajih, radio romance, and 3 minutes. I absolutely cannot recommend them highly enough.

Babymetal is a band that I recently started getting into, like a million years behind everyone else. They’re a Japanese metal band and their music is super fucking high energy, really just launches you into the damn stratosphere. Some of my favorite songs by them are gimme chocolate, catch me if you can and starlight (most of their music is in Japanese but once again there are loads of translations)

Kevin Abstract is an American hip hop singer who writes music both soft and heavy sounding songs that relate to a lot of not often given the spotlight experiences, namely the experiences of being a gay black man in America. I relate to him more than a LOT of white gay musicians and his album “American Boyfriend” is an absolute fucking masterpiece, I even have it downloaded to listen to on long car rides. My favorite songs by him are Echo, Papercut and Miserable America!

Conan Gray is a pop musician who writes a lot of really fun music and like, so many fucking earworms. I literally cannot think of a single one of his songs that I don’t like at least a little, which is very rare for even musicians I do like. And his music videos are super fun. Some of my favorite songs by him are Fight or Flight, Crush Culture, and Wish You Were Sober, which I have listened to over 200 times

More music recs under the cut!

Fea is a latina punk rock band based in San Antonio that I absolutely cannot get enough of. Their name means ugly, but in the feminine form in spanish. Speaking of spanish, a lot of their songs are in spanish, but some are not, which gives it a nice eclectic mix. and helpful for spanish practice lol. Plus they were produced by Laura Jane Grace of Against Me! god, imagine being that fucking cool. My favorite songs by them are La Llorona, Sister K, and Pelo Suelto

Oceanator writes an eclectic mix of synthy business and guitar ballads. I love her music so goddamn much, and it's been a big inspiration in me finding my own sound! my favorite songs by her are Nowhere Nothing, I would Find you, and January 21st

The Hu is a band that took me quite some time to get into but they're a Mongolian rock band that wrote that one song that was super popular here in the states a while back. Their sound is heavier, but it's also so incredibly fucking cool. Some of my favorite songs by them are Sad but True, The Legend of Mother Swan, and Wolf Totem

Meet Me @ The Altar is a band that is very, very derivitave of paramore but in like a super fun way. Their sound is just so fun. Their sound has making me forgive pop punk bc turns out when pop punk is sung by a trio of WOC and not a white dude crying on his guitar about his shitty girlfriend, it can actually fucking rule. Some of my favorite songs by them are Garden, Tyranny, and May the Odds Be In Your Favor

Japanese Breakfast writes a lot of really cool slower songs that make my brain feel like it is melting in the absolute best way possible. it's really hard to describe, which is actually one of my favorite things about it. Some of my favorite songs by her are Road Head, 12 Steps, and The Body is a Blade.

Neon Jungle is a British band who writes a lot of high energy shit that just launches me directly into the fucking stratosphere. Like I'm so serious, they will end your life and revive you fifty fucking times over. My favorite songs by them are Trouble, Louder, and So Alive.

Pom Pom Squad is another band I really like, a rock band who does softer shit sometimes. Their range is insane, and Mia Berrin is one of the most talented fucking vocalists I've ever heard in my whole life. Some of my favorites are Sunday Song, Heavy Heavy, and Honeysuckle

Nova Twins are another duo from the UK who write a lot of heavier guitar stuff. Mostly white punk fans have gotten pissy about them being classified as punk, so I won't, but lbr it's clear what their influences are. In a good way. Their music WILL rip your dick clean off. Some of my favorite songs by them are Bassline Bitch, Devil Face, and Ivory Tower.

Black Belt Eagle Scout is an indigenous musician that writes a lot of really cool softer guitar shit. Super chill music I like to put on to relax and write to. Also loads of her lyrics are downright masterful. Some of my favorite songs by them are Half Colored Hair, Just Lie Down, and Indians Never Die

Rina Sawayama, who you probably know of at least periferally, writes pop music and stuff of that nature. Her music could pull me out of a fucking coma. She's based in the UK. I absolutely adore her and her weird fucking fashion. Some of my favorites by her are Bad Friend, Comme des Garcons (Like The Boys), and Lucid

Milck does a lot of like, idk how to describe it. I have no idea what genre it is. I don't care to know. It rules, whatever it is. It's sort of soft, but powerful with a really cool beat. Some of my favorite songs by her are Devil Devil, This is Not the End, and Call of the Wild.

I HAVE TONS MORE, LIKE LOADS MORE, LIKE GIVE ME THE GO AHEAD AND I WILL MAKE A PART TWO, but I think that's a good amount of my favorites for now.

#Anonymous #monster growl #slimed and answered

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theshinsun · 4 years

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I'm in an Aokaga mood, can you please share some happy and sad Aokaga headcanons that you have?

I’m so sorry this took so long!! ;;-;; I haven’t had time to sit down and think with my new work schedule and I wanted to give it my full attention bc… I have so many headcanons for these boys, just… so many. here’s a few just, of their relationship in general:

happy headcanons:

these two would be the most cuddly goddamn fuckers all the time. Aomine flops on top of Kagami on the couch, Kagami wakes Aomine up by putting his head under his shirt and blowing raspberries on his stomach, they're clingy and gross and always hanging all over each other, even in public they don't give a fuck.

they tease each other constantly. Aomine usually instigates, but Kagami dishes his shit right back and they're both incredibly guilty of starting a bullshit fight just for an excuse to flirt and get up in each other's faces.

they think they're really good at being subtle and keeping the fact that they're together a secret, but they are not. they're so fuckin obvious. of course Kuroko is the first to catch on, but everyone on the planet knows within the first week.

Kagami teaches Aomine to cook. at first he sulks and complains the whole time and get frustrated when he doesn't know any of the utensils or even like, how to preheat an oven, but eventually he starts to enjoy just spending time with Kagami in the kitchen and actually learns a lot.

Kagami is the only person Aomine will allow to touch his limited edition Jordans, he's also the only one who really appreciates him having a whole collection of them.

Kagami's favorite part about Aomine is his eyes. Aomine's favorite part about Kagami is his smile.

Aomine really likes sneaking up on Kagami and hugging/kissing him out of nowhere, Kagami grumbles about it bc it gives him a heart attack every time and tells Aomine he'd give him all the attention he wants if he'd just ask, but secretly he thinks it's really cute.

they turn every aspect of their relationship that they can into a competition like "I kissed you first!" "oh yeah? well I did it better!" they're both so dumb.

they do everything together. like, everything. grocery shopping, video games, working out, napping, showering. they have a lot of the same interests and even the ones they don't share, they end up doing together bc it's more fun to be with each other. Kagami jokes that Aomine's so clingy he'd follow him into the bathroom if he could. Aomine tests him on it one time and gets his ass thrown out.

Aomine's the little spoon. fight. me.

Aomine likes doing big, extravagant things for Kagami, giving him lots of gifts and showing off to get his attention. he usually ends up fucking it up and making a fool of himself, but Kagami still appreciates the thought.

Kagami's thoughtful gestures are more subtle, everyday things like packing Aomine's lunch for him, coming to pick him up and bringing him an umbrella when it rains. there's no question that they both dote on each other equally, they just show their love in different ways.

sad headcanons:

their communication skills are awful. a lot of their worst fights are because of misunderstandings that spin out of control, or a refusal to admit they're wrong or say how they really feel. Aomine is undoubtedly the worse offender here, but Kagami's not much better and has said just as many hurtful things in the heat of the moment and then refused to take them back.

a disagreement that starts small turns into not talking to each other for days because they're both too stubborn and proud to just talk to each other.

when they're in a fight, they actively avoid each other. Kagami goes off on his own and just feels angry and miserable and sad by himself, but Aomine inflicts it on other people, lashing out at everyone and making the situation worse... basically they both start self-destructing when they try to stay apart.

it's not perfect when they aren't fighting with each other, either. being more or less open about their relationship, they both unfortunately have to deal with their share of harassment. Kagami's pretty used to shrugging it off, and Aomine can usually do the same if it's directed at him, but he's extremely protective and if someone starts talking shit about Kagami, he can't help responding in a way that results in him coming home with bruises and split knuckles at best.

sometimes he doesn't come home, and then Kagami has to go out and look for him, always worrying one day he's going to find him dead because he doesn't have the fucking self-preservation to cut his losses and walk away.

it's not like Kagami's the poster child for self-restraint, though. it's less common with him, but he's thrown his share of punches where they didn't belong and gotten the shit kicked out of him on occasion, too. he's just not nearly the glutton for violence that Aomine can be, which makes him wonder if part of it is a way of punishing himself.

they've both got their share of issues and vices to work through. when Kagami's stressed out, he goes without sleep, works himself to exhaustion, sometimes even forgets to eat. he's pushed himself to collapse at least once and scared the shit out of Aomine, who has to practically force him to lie down and fucking eat and rehydrate before he ends up in the hospital.

for Aomine, when his depression gets bad he oversleeps, doesn't have the energy to shower or get dressed, and he takes his emotions out on other people. unfortunately, the person he usually has handy as a punching bag is Kagami. he's said some of the nastiest things to him as a result of feeling like shit himself, and started awful, blow-out fights because he hasn't been taking care of himself.

when Kagami cools off and realizes that's the case, he can remind him to take his meds or talk him into using better coping skills, but until then, he's not exactly the most comforting influence and usually just makes things worse.

I’m gonna cut myself off before this gets ridiculous, but I could honestly talk about these two boys forever. they’re just so important to me... I’ve been writing about them for going on six years now, but it still feels like I’ve barely scratched the surface considering the massive archive of ideas I’ve got for them. thanks so much for asking!! ^^ I hope this satisfies even if it’s late. <3

#shin speaks #aokaga #aomine daiki #kagami taiga #knb #headcanons #kuroko no basket #kuroko no basuke #i... made myself sad again #fuck i made myself want to WRITE again #thank you so much i love talking about them and i haven't done nearly enough for them yet #answered #knb headcanons

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monochromemedic · 3 years

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Same spamton honkers anon here dhsnsns

Your entire rant resonated hard w me bc i acc have an art blog myself but its kind of underground (i made it at the beginning of 2020 in hopes that i could gain some sort of audience cuz i occasionally post on it) and i always wanted to be a [big shot] artist. I have been struggling with severe negative artistic self view and i also do the grave mistake of comparing my art to others every so often WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING AT FIRST like i see some art i like, i rb it then my mind does this thing where its like "ok god i WISH THAT WERE ME tho" and i just ????? Damn shawty ok!!!

I feel the same regarding doodles and studies, as u said, i'd prob feel better breaking and twisting my spine on a piece continuously for one week but i legit dont have the time, patience and overall energy for that kinda shit☠☠☠ i think it boils down to every individual, some love posting and spending hours and hours on a piece, others center around doodles and small projects. Trust me im still so mf overly critical of myself despite the fact that im doing relatively better compared to last year but its almost as if when im rlly proud of smth and i post it and it doesnt gain as many notes (which ik isnt a clear indicator of quality but yknow) i just go like "damn ok then" dbsbxbns if u would like to talk abt such matters im here🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶

All in all i'd say give it time, maybe dont straight out post smth as soon as its done bc i find taking a break then coming back to it sometimes helps change my perception of the drawing??? But fr i absolutely love ur art myself no cap💔

I really do feel you. I know being negative and beating myself down about my art is like very counter productive but I got into the habit a long time ago and now I can't seem to get out of it as easily as I started. I know every artist struggles with some form of it and you only see the finish product not the time it took to make it or progress. It's a very shitty situation because most of the time you only see the creative process from YOUR point of view and only see the end products of others. But even with all this information it's like it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if other artists struggle or feel the same way, they push something out, they get a good piece and yet you don't. You still compare even if you don't mean to, you're upset you can't be them or at their level and you wanna get feedback, you wanna have people look at your art you wanna make people laugh or whatever it is you hope to accomplish but to you it just looks incorrect because it will forever be YOURS. And I don't know how to get comfortable with my progress, where I am with my art currently or the fact my art will always be mine. I'd say it's nice to hear you feel that same way but I never like hearing people suffer the same viewpoint about their art, it just makes me sad that they gotta deal with the same shit. Makes me wish I could help but ya know kinda hard to. I guess I hope we both push past it. That's a good idea though. sitting on something and maybe coming back to it at a later date even if it is finished. I hear artists do a lot of WIPs. I honestly never have, I think I have one but I've never really strived to make art that took more then one session or I was too fast and quickly finished it up in the one session it took. I'm just learning I gotta take more time with my art, think things through, give it the love it deserves even if it's kinda stinky. Which ya know fights the 'why are you taking so long on this piece, people could have finished it by now' mentality. It's an endless circle. I go too quick? Why didn't I take longer on it, it could have been better if you spend 24 hours on it. I go too slow to draw something? Someone could have done that in half the time! How artists get over their art struggles, has got to take some serious determination. Or maybe it's just some [BIG SHOT] attitude adjustment I gotta get into *wink*

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sepublic · 4 years

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A dynamic I’ve been thinking about lately it Amity’s relationship with magic

Bc if I was in her position I would prolly hate doing magic

Her parents are elitist assholes bc of it- said parents control her life over it - not to mention that it separated her from her one true friend growing up: Willow

So what if Amity grew up resentful of magic that she still did everything as perfect as possible due to her parents but hating every second of it

So what if Amity went to the human world for a summer tried to live a life without magic and she realized that yes, she can be so happy without magic that she can experience so many wonderful things but that magic isn’t always bad

After dealing with these feelings Amity realizes that Magic can also be beautiful and make her happy as well

The way I see it, I think Amity IS someone who legitimately enjoys learning about magic, and even the process of teaching others… She’s genuinely interested in magic in-part because of The Good Witch Azura and is inspired by her role model, and Amity clearly enjoys reading books to kids! Not only that, but…

…It’s not exactly canon, but there was this one DisneyTVA post that showed a cardboard cut-out of a sad and lonely-looking Amity! The caption explained that she pitched an educational series to the Disney executives but was rejected!

My read on Amity is that she DOES like to learn, and if allowed to self-actualize, would probably enjoy becoming a teacher actually! But because of the way she’s been taught, Amity has confused/associated learning with school as a system and an institution; That these two are synonymous, that if you like to learn, you ALSO like school and its environment! She sees the two as one and the same, a package that comes together, and I don’t think Amity realizes that you can still enjoy learning, while hating the school environment!

For me, I think the pressure and standards that the Blight Parents have put onto Amity have ‘ruined’ her hobby and interest for her, as now she’s turned Magic and learning from a passion into yet another means of social advancement; Which means Amity can no longer unconditionally enjoy it and constantly has to measure her decisions by which one attains the highest grade for her, VS just having fun and being casual with her mistakes!

I headcanon Amity as someone who initially started off as a Gifted Kid and did very well, enthusiastically enjoying Magic and having a natural talent and passion for it… Hence why the Blight Parents were so insistent on Amity not being ‘dragged down’ by Willow and her late-blooming, in addition to their own classist attitudes of course! But as Amity got older and poured all of her energy into doing well in school, eventually she got burnt out… She began falling behind on her past successes, as top scores came a lot less easily to her, and Amity’s passion for school began to dwindle.

And, it’s another reason why Amity is so frustrated and critical of herself- Because in the past she used to ace school effortlessly and barely had to put in effort, why is it so hard and difficult for her now!? Why is she becoming so anxious over this, it used to be so easy, is there something wrongwith her? And now Amity is afraid of having built up her parents’ expectations, only to have secretly ‘lied’ and thus will let them down… In addition to ‘falling behind’ the development of characters like Willow and Luz!

Of course, Amity would NEVER be against her friends being stronger than her, but she’d definitely internalize this into self-loathing as an example of how she needs to be better! Because she used to be at the top, so why is she falling behind? Was she really never meant for greatness, is this some cruel joke by the universe? And it’d be difficult for her to get back into learning magic, because now it’s just a constant reminder of her own inabilities and alleged failings…

As you suggested, I can see Amity getting away from her parents’ abuse, and initially trying to unlearn it by rejecting the concept of school and learning in general… But as she goes cold-turkey from this, inevitably she’s still gonna be less happy; Happier than she was before, because no more abuse and more love from Luz and the others! But admittedly, Amity won’t feel completely fulfilled, she’ll find herself missing the idea of learning more about magic, and she’ll be confused, because wasn’t school an abusive and unhealthy environment for her???

So in comes Eda. To me, Eda and Amity are both alike in that… I see them as characters who actually have a huge love and passion for learning, but the specific structure of school as an institution, as well as the pressure to succeed by the Coven System, ruined this hobby for them. And I think Eda is well-aware of the distinction between learning and education, VS school as an institution and a system meant to make kids orderly and pressure them to succeed… So I can easily see her explaining to Amity that there IS a divide between the two, that there is a difference!

And just as Eda rediscovered how to love learning about magic on her own terms, by getting away from the oppressive school environment and doing things her own way, amidst her own recent lessons with Luz about Glyphs… I can see her helping Amity rediscover that same passion, either by having lessons with Lilith at the Owl House and/or attending school again, but this time without the pressure to succeed and be the best!

I think it’d be beautiful, seeing Eda, Luz, and Lilith help Amity reclaim her love of learning and education that was taken away from her and ruined by the Blight Parents! Helping Amity get back to learning about things unconditionally, doing it on her own terms and converting it back into HER choice, rather than those of her parents…

Amity can rediscover how to learn about magic simply for the sake of it, and not just to attain some other goal! Luz in particular legit loves magic and is intrigued by it, I could see Luz’s ramblings and passion helping Amity as the two begin to collaborate, as Amity’s negative memories with learning are replaced with the positive ones she has with Luz, Eda, and Lilith…! Luz’s enthusiasm for magic is likely bound to get contagious, and remind Amity of why got interested in the first place, amidst both girls enjoying The Good Witch Azura together and continuing to be inspired by it, and one another!

If I had to guess? I think that in a scenario where Amity was allowed to figure out who she was and what she wanted to do… I think she’d be happy with being a teacher! But specifically, one fixated on her curriculum and lessons prioritizing the enjoyment of students, a teacher who cares about helping kids really get to know Magic and actually appreciate it up-close, with less regard for trying to get high grades!

I think Amity would work on her lessons to encourage students to really think about and engage with what they’re learning, instead of just reading it out of a textbook or something… Less blind memorization and recitals, or filling people’s heads like an empty box; And more inspiring thought and creativity, like tending to a living flame! And I can see Amity working to change the school system to be more geared towards honest education, instead of simply indoctrinating and preparing kids for their roles in the Coven System!

I like your idea a lot, @imamwolf, it makes sense with what this show has to say, and I know I’m literally just regurgitating what you already told me, but still! This show has a lot to say about the relationship between a student, education, and a teacher, and how a teacher fulfills their role!

#the owl house #owl house #the owl house amity #amity blight #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #speculation #ask

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vagarius · 4 years

Text

misukazu 21

(if you saw me fuck up the other one no you didnt)

EDIT I THINK THIS ONE GOT A LITTLE FUCKED UP TOO BUT IT’S... READABLE...

questions from this post, and answers originally written for this thread!!

If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it? their canon first meeting is already so good SHDGFLJASHG but if i had to choose a different one that's still within the context of mankai... meeting as kids and losing touch and coming back together completely different at mankai

What song fits your pairing the most? uhhHHhhHHH i don't have a real answer but i do have a partial playlist for one of my misukazu aus and the only two songs in it are furaregai girl by sayuri and champagne's for celebrating by mayday parade and i feel like that says enough sldhgalsdhfalsh

What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing? ALL MISUKAZU AUS ARE GOOD but. i really love any au where their first meeting is in the future and both are still kind of lost but they're Older and it's hard to let themselves fall into the easy trust they find in canon. i just think that'd be neat.

Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them? I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT CANON MISUKAZU GIVES OFF MADE FOR EACH OTHER VIBES AND USUALLY I DON'T VIBE WITH THAT BUT THEY REALLY ARE WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS... AND I THINK EVEN IF THEY HAD TO PART THEY'D STILL BE ABLE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE BC THEY HAD MET

Favorite canon moment of them? THERE ARE SO MANY but the one that immediately comes to mind is misumi carrying drunk kazu to bed (latest bday line) because drunk kazu is so soft and it implies that misumi wanted to wish happy birthday to kazu pretty late... what did he want to give him...

Least favorite canon moment of them? hmm... there's not really one i can think of??? IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I LOVE ALL THEIR CANON MOMENTS

Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s) this is somehow both vague and very specific but i think misukazu gives off this vibe: He's beautiful. I can't tell him. or "Kazu is always beautiful~" Don't call me that, Kazu thinks. I'm not. so... insecurities i guess ????? AJSHAJJD

Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO CHEESY but i love how /real/ they allow themselves to be around each other. misukazu at their best is when one thinks "you're you. and i love that you" and the other knows this. i just. THEY VALIDATE THE OTHER SO MUCH CRIES

Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcannon) this isn't a "least fav" so much as "it makes me sad" but if either of them showed any sign of not being interested anymore the other is more likely to give up then push anything. sort of like "it was bound to happen, so i'll enjoy now until they drop me" or EVEN WORSE they think the other would be better off without them and pushes them away. so yeah the fact i can see one of these happening makes me sad.

If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together? they give off "everyone knows we're dating but us" energy but at the same time i feel like they'd acknowledge there's something and just not define it bc a) they don't need to (misumi) or b) they're too nervous to (kazu). in other words i think one day they are holding hands and misumi says "kazu? is this dating?" and kazu holds his breath before asking "do you want it to be?"

If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why? i think theyd be hilarious in any sports animanga (kazu is manager tho bc noodle arms but maybe they bond when misumi walks him through some of his usual training menu one night - ahem. anyway) BUT ALSO horimiya au...

How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10. AJDHAJDHSF I REALLY LOVE THEM SO IT COMES PRETTY EASILY... but sometimes you try to put them in tropes and realize they would Just Not Work Like That. idk where i'm going with this. but yeah. anyway 3 for sankaku.

Is there a pairing that you think rivals them? in terms of what i ship, i tend to ship kazu and misumi individually with a lot of dif charas AJDHAKD. but in terms of like... in-universe "rival" pairings: kazu side: tsuzukazu (maybe, lbr it would take them 273924 yrs to actually get together), kazu x someone from winter (i... have my reasons but they'd take longer than what this answer entails) misumi side: ... surprisingly none that i can think of ahdjahd

Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?) you know that tweet that's like "sometimes a ship is just your two favs"? yeah that's misukazu for me. but if i had to choose... misumi AJDHAJHDSF I HONESTLY WASNT THAT INTO YUME UNTIL THESE TWO CAME AROUND (NOT COUNTING 707)... but yeah if they wanted to hold me in their arms i wouldn't oppose

Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why? OOOOOH BOY well. i think it could be either of them. i don't think they'd break up for lack of love but too much love and wanting the other to be happy and thinking that the only way to give them that is to let them go. so i guess the question is which of them would be more likely to be selfish and hold on. thinking this way, i think misumi would be more likely to break-up, bc kazu has lots of friends who are better than him!! and misumi is more ready to leave if he thinks he needs to than kazu is. now im sad.

Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing? THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN CALLED KAZU KIN... in all seriousness kazu's struggles with speaking out and (shinobi spoilers) his uncertainty over his future hit real close to home... while i don't relate as much as misumi, his struggles always manage to tear my heart into pieces... ((oversharing alert) i guess what really separates me from misumi is his struggle with his desire to connect with family who has treated him poorly... whereas im more "lol fuck you") tldr i relate to kazu slightly more LOL

Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them? i never disliked them but i was NOT expecting either of them to shoot up so quickly into my favs list ahdjahdjf. also i started shipping them Immediately After reading summer main story so there's that

On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them? as of september 28th 2020 i make up 11/78 fics on ao3 in the romantic misukazu tag and 2/12 in the platonic one. i may have brainrot.

What made you decide to ship them? TBH I FINISHED THE MAIN STORY AND WENT "OH MY GOD... THAT'S MY SHIP" but now that i'm here i continue to ship them because they have the potential to bring out both the best and the worst in each other and i'm all about that

Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.) angst. i just. angst hurt/comfort all the way. im so sorry babies.

lol you thought there would just be 21 ANYWAY EXTRA 1: how do they spend breaks/vacation? they'd travel a lot when they're older!! kazunari loves to travel and misumi would follow kazunari anywhere (also, new triangles!!) so they go somewhere new whenever they have the time. however i think eventually one or both of their future careers will take them anywhere and everywhere anyway, so their "ideal vacation" might turn into an evening in, cuddling and catching up (as if they didn't already send play-by-play updates over the phone of whatever they did during the day)

EXTRA 2: first date? i don't they ever have an explicit first date, but if asked they'll cite the time they had a picnic in the park turned triangle hunt turned accidental dip in the duck pond. at least, kazunari will. misumi just tilts his head and wonders what you mean.

EXTRA 3: gifts? IM FEELING REALLY CHEESY SO I'M MAKING THIS ABOUT ANNIVERSARY GIFTS they both end up getting each other jewelry (although kazu was really really nervous bc he wasn't sure if misumi would wear it). kazu gets misumi a bracelet (with triangles, of course although misumi only wears it sometimes because he doesn't want to lose it) and misumi gets kazu a pair of triangle earrings "so we can match!" and kazunari combusts at the implications

EXTRA 4: sharing clothes THEY'RE ACTUALLY AROUND THE SAME SIZE (and tend to wear baggier stuff barring kazu's skinny jeans)... but they have completely different Styles so it's still really obvious when steal each other's stuff ahdjajdkaf. as cute as kazu would look in sumi's sweatshirt i think the much more likely scenario is kazu wrapping misumi in his jackets because this boy nEVER BRINGS HIS ANYWHERE anyway just. accidental shared wardrobe misukazu.

EXTRA 5: lake house au consider: kazunari living in a house on the shore of a lake for a summer for Art Purposes (and a little bit for Dealing With Life purposes but he's not gonna admit that) and meets his lake neighbor misumi who kazu thinks might be a ghost or spirit for a while but he actually just lives further down the lake and misumi unknowingly helps kazu with his Life Issues and maybe they fall in love

#a3 #misukazu #kazumisu #ikaruga misumi #miyoshi kazunari #a3!#act! addict! actors!#headcanons #ernb its me

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yyxgin · 3 years

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i think what bugged me the most is i could say ‘they’re literal depression pills/they made me depressed’ and could reel off the side effect word for word (1/10 will experience mood swings (sometimes in the form of depression)) which was literally the first fricking side effect listed and the most common and she would still refer to it as me being sad literally seconds later in a convo. okay i never went to the doctor but when it occurred to me that, hey, something isn’t right, we were in the middle of a fucking pandemic!! i mean, we still are, but you get the point. this was right at the beginning when they basically closed everything as well so even if i wanted to i wouldn’t have been able to go see someone about it. but it’s whatever now, i don’t take them and i don’t have to give her any advice about them ✌️ i completely get the lack of validity about your emotions. that’s exactly how i felt.

i work so im not bothered about seeing people as i see them enough by my standards already but there is a helpful little voice in the back of my head reminding me that i still need to see my friends!! from before i got a job lol. i worked like 55 hours? my first proper week when i wasn’t on reduced hours and now i work maybe 30? which annoys me so i’m gonna ask for more bc i wanna buy a car and insurance. you still go to school, right? i feel like you’re more stressed about work considering you’re studying too. or were. have you just broken up from school? i don’t study, thank fuck, anymore, so i can do full time but i always get put on evenings so i’m thinking of getting a 9 to 5 bc then i can get the money i need.

a woman was rude to me bc her takeaway wasn’t ready bang on the clock when she turned up to pick it up. man it took literally every fibre in my being not to tell her to fucking leave me alone bc i’m a waitress?? what does she expect me to do??? i found out after but apparently our website tells you to allow a 15 minute slot when you order takeaway to pick up. i checked on this woman’s takeaway and told her it’d be ready in 10 minutes and she said sumn along the lines of ‘so 10 past 8?’. imma tell you straight i wasn’t looking at my phone so i assumed that meant the time was 8pm! (it wasn’t) she said to me ‘and i assume you’ll be knocking money off of the bill for that?’ and i politely replied ‘i can’t do that.’ bc i literally cannot. has to be a managerial figure. bearing in mind she’s already paid in full online???????? n she replies ‘do you wanna go suggest that?’ and nods towards the kitchen and i said no and walked off. the AUDACITY??? anyway i told my manager and she rolled her eyes and was like we don’t do partial refunds and said she’d talk to the woman when her order was ready. this woman was all up in my face saying ‘do you think that’s a reasonable time?’ asking if she should come back at 8:10 and im like idfk?? i have things to be doing can you fuck off?? no i didn’t say that but she says ‘i’ve got kids in the car with the engine running’ and i deadpanned ‘i didn’t tell you to leave your kids in the car with the engine running’ bc it was the first thing my brain thought of that wasn’t ‘sounds like a you problem to me’. in the end she left and came back but when she came back she was properly shouting at another waitress i work with and the girl was like 😄 your food was ready 20 minutes ago but you didn’t leave your details to be able to ring you to tell you it’s ready. she even re-mentioned the kids in the car saying they were starving and it was all our fault and the girl was like hmm okay. and then the woman said she was gonna leave a bad review on trip advisor!! and the waitress was like 😃 you do that bestie!! another great day on the grind :D (i forgot to say we were swamped on saturday so that’s why everything was so busy but she was literally the only one complaining that bad, like literally everyone could see we were struggling but they also were saying to wait staff things like ‘i know you can’t make things go quicker back there’ while we were apologising for the phat delay on their food).

another funny one (that made the barman laugh when i told it to him) was a grandma and a grandson in my section. the grandma was dictating his life jesus 😭 (not important but made me go 😳) but one of the girls cleared the table partially when i was doing sumn else so i finished it off and when we get back to kp she tells me the grandma complained the food was cold and without hesitation i said ‘well she fucking ate it all so tell her to fuck off and talk to someone who gives a shit’. she went quiet and i was like,, man i hope i didn’t scare her. but like. they cleared their plates. there was no food left. she didn’t call someone over. she didn’t say anything to anyone when they ask if it was okay. why wait until the end?? anyway i told thé barman and he giggled (he’s got a lovely laugh in my opinion bc it sounds like he’s snickering at everything). i was NOT going to tell my manager bc there’s literally no point. same day, later on, a man said his mussels were cold, i took them back and the kitchen cooked them again. i’d barely put the food down before he called me over (this one is a good one bc he hasn’t eaten EVERYTHING before complaining and therefore we can do something about the problem‼️) respect to that guy.

one of the girls gave me a lift home last night n the barman directed her right to my house without ever having been to my house before (his cousin used to live in the flats down the other end, he says) and when i messaged her later on thanking her and saying it was a bit sus that he directed her perfectly to mine n she said ‘hmm ben seems to go to yours more than he does his own home 🤔🤔🤔🤔’ bc apparently he was absolute shite at giving directions to his flat 😭 n e way he’s a sweetheart n he says he doesn’t like christmas anymore n he made me sad after he said that n i said i’d post coal through his letter box n he said i might as well n i was like okay this is an actual problem n now i’m gone be super nice to him at christmas bc he deserves so much more that the hand he’s been dealt. this convo happened after i let him try this herbal tea he said smelt nice n i said it tasted like christmas to me. he’s such a good person (despite literally everything he tells me about his past) n i cannot have him being a little humbug. god i think this crush i joked to you about is becoming a soft core friendship. like every fucking wattpad story out there. me n the girls agreed someone has to love him 🥺

okay im signing off now ily ~ 🌻

i am glad you are feeling better though, nobody deserves to suffer. and nobody deserves to have their emotions invalidated. remember that your emotions matter at all times. <3

yesyes i am still in school !! altough my summer break started on july 1st so i am not that stressed about managing many things at once anymore hh,, also you are working so much ??? damn ?? please remember to take some breaks and relax !! and meet your friends !!! have fun. i know you are saving up money but please dont overwork yourself !

wHY ARE PEOPLE SO RUDE OH MY GOD I SWEAR,,, i learned that while working with people. i just,, it feels like they are all looking down on me just because i am young and work there part-time. like bro,,chill. also i feel kind of bad when they ask me where stuff is and i cant tell them bc i have no idea but at the same time if people were all introverts like me i wouldnt have this problem. :) dfjk jk jk i should improve on that. i wish people were more nice to you !!! who do they think they are ?? like,,,,,why are you rude. this is clearly not your problem.

i like it when people tell you respectfully. like the guy you mentioned. because clearly what are you going to do about the cold food when they’ve eaten it all. where’s the logic.

IT SOUNDS LIKE HE IS OVER AT YOURS EVERY OTHER DAY DFJAKL that’s so funny. also i am bad at giving directions to my flat as well lmaoo poor ladies that drive me home from work sometimes. also i hate christmas as well lmaoo i feel that boy. its a little hard for me and i hope he doesn’t feel as bad during christmas this year when he has you around hihi,,, i fully stan this friendship. altough i am a big fan of friends to lovers if you know what i mean. in the energy of wattpad :))

ily !!!

#you can guess my mental stability by how quick i respond to asks #anyways #💌ask #🌻 anon

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prongsmydeer · 3 years

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Ayesha Liveblogs Oh My Ghost (2018) Ep. 9-16

Part 2 of this post because tumblr would not let me save anymore either because of the numerous images I’m commenting on or because of how many times I use the word H*rny

Kaopoon is frustrated bc Real Jiw is now vibing with her new BF Sun while she is sitting sadly on a swing set [Alexa play Sadness and Sorrow]

Backtracking to the other kind of drama: Lieutenant Murder is finally going to murder someone on screen (specifically his fellow police officer) because Lieutenant Murder jumped him for getting too close to solving Nammoon's hit-and-run case, which is at this point obvious he committed)

I love when Sun and Jiw flirt through their apartment wall

Jiw and Sun are dating now but the remaining point of contention is how much Horny Ghost just wants them to sleep together instead of getting to know each other to which Sun thinks “Jiw do u only want me for my body 😔?”

I can't believe that Lieutenant Murder's tragic backstory is that he was an orphan oh my god. Adoption is normal!! Murder is not!!

Lieutenant Murder was possessed by an evil spirit????? (After the first time he tried to murder????) WHAT WHAT WHAT

Sous Chef Rain is yelling at the restaurant staff bc of forgetting his birthday, bc he is, truly, a perennial pain in the ass

They are all out for Rain's birthday except for Sun bc of his and Jiw (Kaopoon)'s sex fight and so he is very anxious about his girlfriend being out with The Guys without him

Also Study-Abroad Win is handsome to the point of distraction AND nice where is his romance? Where is the justice for the male models of the world

Sun's Mom does not know he is Dating and Housing his employee possessed by a Horny Ghost He Thinks is One Facet of Her Personality

Presented without commentary:

Win has been politely pretending not to notice that Sun and Jiw are in a relationship and now I'm thinking he will get a romance and it will be Ida, to wrap up most of the loose ends of this relationship pentagon. Based on no other reason than that they are both single

Dkjhgkjgh lmao @ Sun going to his whole staff: “WHO WANTS TO GO TO THE MARKET?” and then saying no to everyone one by one except his girlfriend

Kaopoon is making Sun help her dad install a restaurant hose in the middle of their work day hahaha

FINALLY PROOF THAT LIEUTENANT MURDER IS A MURDERER. Warning for murder related description, there was a flashback where it showed a still body (face obscured) wearing Kaopoon's outfit on his bathroom floor

They really hammered home the ‘he is a murderer’ thing, he has a bag full of evidence of his crime

In more lighthearted news, Sun's rice intolerance is psychosomatic bc his mum never cooked rice for him and it's Sad Boy Hours

Sun and Kaopoon!Jiw seem like they're finally ready to have sex (they've talked out their feelings and are going away together) but there are FIVE MORE EPS and the murder stuff still lingers so I wonder what other madness this show will unleash on me

Actually, six more eps!! Ahhhh that's so much time

Oh how the tables have turned now Kaopoon is the one too in love with Sun too have sex (bc she will go to the afterlife if she does -- But if she doesn't she'll be an evil spirit so... stuck between a rock and hard-on)

I have been suspecting for a while tho that the sex will not change anything. She will probably have to solve her murder to pass on

You know what that is? Growth!!

Now they are back to the weird energy of Sun going “Now that we are in love I would like to have sex,” and Kaopoon!Jiw going “Sex????? Never heard of it!!”

Against Kaopoon's credit, she has not informed Jiw that their relationship has progressed this much. She's just like "yeah things are normal" bc she wants to spend as much time with Sun while she has the chance

Win and Kaopoon!Jiw are just being good bros and Sun, in tandem with the sex-back-and-forth, is jealous of their dynamic

Kaopoon has begun to solve her own murder!!! Unfortunately the first thing she did was point out inconsistent evidence to Lieutenant Parin, who extremely Murdered Her

I feel so happy for Jiw when she gets to experience normal boyfriend moments with Sun like these cheesy matching necklaces. <3 Why does Jiw's life have to be so complicated?

Kaopoon is... spiritually breaking up with Jiw, so she can end the messiness of her involvement with Sun

Ehkjehrrk Jiw is back to living her own life and a spirit just tried to grab at her and she just whacked their hand off and said, "Don't bother me now!" so she could keep cooking, love that for her

The employee-boss affair's out of the bag!!

They also keep cutting to Lieutenant Murder with his knife ready to go after Jiw for Knowing Too Much kjhgkhgjh so I guess the last four-and-a-half eps will dedicated to crime-fighting

Auntie Pu is kind of my favourite character on this show bc she goes from Ghost Nemesis to Ghost Mom all while having Sun's mom as her BFF and Sugar Mama

Hahahaha all the other restaurant staff (minus Win, who is chill) are sucking up to Jiw now bc she's dating Sun

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Jiw felt guilty about dating Sun when half the things he loves are things that Kaopoon did and now the Horny Ghost is out of the bag

I can only assume, bc he thinks she's bipolar, he will assume this is product of a hallucination

Reservations on the commentary on bipolar disorder aside, what DO u do when the person you love tells you that they can see ghosts and key relationship moments you had together were the product of them being possessed by a ghost

Sun now believes in ghosts but he's very upset about the romantic implications of this knowledge

“I think the reason I haven’t been reincarnated... isn’t the fact I’ve never slept with a man after all” HORNY GHOST CONFIRMED FOR DETECTIVE GHOST. VINNNNNDICATION!!!!!

Awww the restaurant staff are all surrounding Chef with support in his time of romantic woe

“But I want the two people I care about the most to be happy” I want Win to date Sun AND Jiw he's so good to them

AYYYYYYY Sun found out that Jiw made the recipes for the blog he liked (and called his soulmate) and now he's visiting her grandma bc he truly is in love with both Jiw AND Kaopoon

Sun said, “I acknowledge this is a complicated situation but I'm willing to work through the ghost thing and figure out how we feel about each other”

Cutting back to Lieutenant Murder, he has just meowed at his coworker threateningly in response to being investigated (for attacking that same coworker!!)

Lieutenant Murder wears this same stupid outfit every time he's gonna do a crime recently and can I just say: I hate it

WHAT'S HE GONNA DO, KILL EVERYONE WHO KNOWS SOMETHING ABOUT ONE OF HIS MANY CRIMES?? THAT'S A LOT OF PEOPLE! AUNTIE PU! JIW! THE FORESENICS ANALYST! ALMOST-SUN? HE CAN'T EVEN KILL KAOPOON BC HE ALREADY KILLED HER AND SHE'S A GHOST!!!!!!!!!!!

“Chef, is something wrong?” Jiw asked, after telling Sun that his brother-in-law is a murderer who also probably hit his sister with a car

Sun said, “Pls don't be a murderer I love u bro” and Parin said “My life of crime is very important to me”

This is Kaopoon possessing Auntie Pu so that Kaopoon, Jiw and Sun can be a crime-fighting trio, love that for them

There are SO MANY crimes going on right now I cannot even begin to describe but just know Lieutenant Murder is responsible for all of them

So Jiw has been kidnapped (GUESS WHO) and Sun is investigating every school in the area and Kaopoon has a network of ghosts looking for her while Jiw tries to find a way to communicate her location. The Crime-Fighting Trio Continues!!!

You'd think more people would notice what a creep this guy is considering that he is literally DIGGING A GRAVE for the woman trapped in his cupboard!!

Poor Nammoon she has no idea her husband is possessed by a murderous ghost. Which like, to be clear, he did try to murder before the ghost possessed him sooooooooooooo

“You're a good person,” said Nammoon, to a man who has committed at least three murders with a fourth on the go

Sun rescued Jiw via high speed car chase and now Auntie Pu and Kaopoon have taken Sun's car to chase Parin and GET HIS ASS

Also Jiw got 2 attack Parin which I think she deserved to get to do

Oh yikes it's possible she fatally injured him which doesn't bode well for the psychological implications of this whole ordeal

Nope I was wrong the ghost-busting continues

Well I don't know what's more perturbing, the resolution of that fight or the fact that there is still one more episode of 1 HOUR left jhfkjhkfjh this better be a happy filler ep where Jiw and Sun get married omg

HORNY GHOST SHOW REALLY MAKING ME TEARY-EYED ON THE LAST EP

The entire restaurant staff is a collective of morons who love Jiw for who she is

Jiw won a cooking scholarship and gets to study abroad in Europe for two years so it's Sad Boy Hours with Sun again

THEY GOT A SECOND DOG THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT'S HAPPENED ON THIS SHOW

SCREAM NOW AUNTIE PU IS A RICH AND FAMOUS GHOSTBUSTER MEDIUM

Sun has expanded his restaurant business, leaving Rain in charge, and so they have been sent a new employee Summer, who I guess is everyone's new Pain in the Ass just for fun kgjhkjhkgh

He was merely a plot device to prove the Chef Boys are Bros 4 lyf

In a weird turn of events Parin is still alive with amnesia???? Even if all of what he did as an adult was ghost possession stuff.... he did still try to attack a baby as a teen. That's a thing he did! Are we forgetting this????? I guess!!!

GET SOME THERAPY NAMMOON!!

BACK TO THE DOGS:

Sun is strumming a guitar woefully because he misses Jiw:

SHE'S BACK AND THE JIW SUPPORT SQUAD IS THRIVING:

Sun is presumably somewhere sadly shaking a tambourine

IT'S FINALLY HAPPY BOY HOURS

#ayesha says things #ayesha liveblogs oh my ghost #liveblogging #oh my ghost 2018 #thai television #television #long post

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girloikawa · 4 years

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carry on youtuber au

baz starts out as a cover artist, occasionally posting his own songs (he does violin stuff too)

but eventually he gets recognition and people are like “who is this person?????” so baz does a few q&as

oh BUT THEN he reveals that he also has so many other interests (books, movies, planting, coffee, Controversal Topics) that people want him to do other types of videos

and that is what starts baz on the long road of his channel basically being an everything bagel where he does a bit of everything and people find it very chill

agatha and baz become friends over their mutual love of gossip in the community (as long as they’re not apart of it)

(because baz and agatha and simon and penny aren’t problematic)

which brings me to agatha, she’s one of those channels that keep everyone updated on the drama and the shitty stuff that happens on YouTube as long as regular media

very opinionated, this gal is, so she shares her opinion on...everything

though, sometimes she’ll do a q&a and do her makeup and talk about fashion or what she’s into at the moment

she’s basically angelika oles

penny’s a booktuber!!!

she mostly reads and reviews fantasy books, as they are her favorite, but she’ll also do those videos where it’s like “i just read a shitty wattpad romance story, let me rant” or “my top ten favorite ya pairings” or “tier ranking every harry potter character because life has no meaning”

now, simon, the babe, he’s (and you cannot fight me on this) basically jenna marbles

his videos are so random and spurratic, he doesn’t even plan what his next video is, and he’s the youtuber

i would also like to point out that simon probably totally has adhd and would talk about it and his experience with it

his most popular videos are of him baking. he’s like (and hear me out) very good and very bad at it. like, all throughout the videos, everybody’s holding their breath’s like “oh no this is going to turn out terribly” because simon being in the kitchen is like a horse babysitting a dog, it’s a mess, however the end product is always perfect and amazing and by the end everybody’s drooling behind their screens

simon is also widely conceived as the weirdest straight guy ever. like people (from just looking at him) think he’s just So Striaght but a very Cool Straight Guy who people wouldn’t actually mind being around

simon has the most subscribers (the majority being that they find him funny and see him as a friend, the minority being people who think he’s Hot As Hell and okay yeah he’s a good person too but have you seen those freckles-)

then it’s baz because he actually started first and his following has been a journey, then agatha (she’s the newest, and her subscriber rate is growing rapidly), then penny (booktube is a small community sad face)

penny n simon are irl best friends and penny was the one who convinced simon to make a channel bc he needed something to help let out his energy, “plus it’s a little fun hobby”

snowbaz now :)

simon has followed baz from pretty much the beginning. he saw his cringy covers, his development as a songwriter, and the walls built around baz crumble over the camera

baz...well, he’s one of those people who think simon is Hot As Hell, but he also genuinely enjoys the videos. at first, baz was like “I’m not watching him, everybody watches him, and I’m different” so he always avoided the recommendations youtube gave him of simon’s videos (but it was also bc he didn’t want to confront that he was very attracted to simon)

and then, one fateful night, agatha sent baz a link to a video called “coming out” and under the link she wrote “youtube angel!”—that’s their nickname for simon—“shocking the world!”

baz click click clicked because hot guy is lgbt+????? and baz watched the video, commenting “proud of you” or something along those lines, and then he watched so, so many more of simon’s videos

simon, a boy who just came out as bisexual, just had his youtube hero comment on his video where he came out and is like !!!!!!

simon’s sexual awakening is baz

also, simon breaks the internet with that video, because he isn’t striaght and that’s so mind-boggling to everybody. but there’s always that one group of people who are like “i saw this coming. do you not remember that one time simon showed his socks and his jeans were cuffed-”

simon replies to baz’s comment and is like “oh my god thank you so much. you’re like my actual favorite youtuber” like a fucking Nut and people see that and say “omg collab” because they’re both relatively high status youtubers and their collab would be Powerful

then, summoning all his courage, simon dms baz on instagram with just a simple “hey, a lot of people are saying we should collab lmao”

“i’ve seen that” “heh uhm yeah” “maybe we could get to know each other and see if that would be a good idea” “yes! i’d love that”

and they do. they get really close and stuff,, but people don’t exactly...see that

you see, on twitter, they get in millions of arguments. people genuinely think that they hate each other to some extent, when in reality, they’re swooning at the sight of the three dot bubble

baz, on twitter: “you cannot tell me that people actually enjoy sparkling water. it’s trash, move on” (they had an argument over it, privately, and baz is making it public to cause a rise out of simon bc he finds angry simon cute)

simon, in response: “yo I’m throwing you in the trash as we speak. fuhhhck u”

so, when they collab for the first time, everybody at home is just like *shocked pikachu emoji* they end up doing a video where simon bakes baz’s mom’s recipe of cherry scones with baz. it’s kind of a big deal bc both simon and baz don’t want to ruin baz’s memory of his mother

in the end, baz tears up and gives si a big ass hug because they’re perfect, simon. i love them, thank you. the fans start shipping. hard. it’s simon’s highest viewed video

that surprise hug is also what makes simon realize that his feelings are much deeper than attraction and surface level forms of knowing someone

on baz’s channel, they were going to film a video where they talked about their experiences being queer, but then simon realized that his biggest, most prominent example was staring at baz’s jawline, so he had to be like “uhhh, actually, I’m not really comfortable with that yet” which is part true. instead, they do a video where they have argumentative discussions, like on twitter but in depth and with less insults

anyways, they receive pretty positive feedback on the videos, people enjoy them, so they decide to do more. also, they both live in LA, so it’s actually pretty easy to do them, plus they have a diverse area to do them in

also, i think it’d be nice to mention that simon will sometimes do twitch streams of him playing minecraft and then he puts edited versions on his channel. it’s worth mentioning because during this one stream, he ends up slipping up and saying “we talk a lot, actually. and i—i like him a lot” about baz, then he blushes like hell because i really just said that and it’s live oh god

all the while, baz and simon actually just start hanging out (without hiding behind wanting to do a video). one meet-up, they go to disney world and halfway through baz is like “uh, should we be filming this?” and simon gives him a smile and replies, “no” because that moment is for them and them only + the fans who see them together and ask for a picture/just take pictures of them being like a couple

their next collab is a bit of a fun one. behind the scenes, pen, ag, si, and baz all become friends, because of that one time baz came over while penny was there and he barely payed attention to simon, too busy talking to penny. anyways, they do a big four person collab where agatha basically teaches them how to do makeup

on penny’s channel, it’s book related. they have to do a look based on the synopsis’ of each other’s favorite books. baz gets simon, simon gets agatha, agatha gets penny, penny gets baz. baz: “snow, you’re holding it wrong. it’s like this” simon: *stares longingly at the brush that gets to touch baz’s face*

on agatha’s, the video is just titled Teaching My Friends To Do Makeup (ft. idiots who test my patience). they all suck. majorly. well, by all, i mean simon and penny suck at makeup

on baz’s, they do a trivia of sorts. if they get a question wrong, they have to skip a product. simon: “oh thank god less work” agatha, deadpanning: “i think i might kill him”

on simon’s, they have agatha and penny go against simon and agatha. si and pen being the ones who have to actually do makeup because, according to agatha, “since you decided to bitch so much, you guys are doing our makeup” “but-!” “nope, I’m Peak Brains of us all so I call the shots” “you’re not even-” “shut up” Everybody (and by everybody i mean the fans) is actually glad that they got to see simon doing baz’s makeup, because it’s literally them just being so flustered the whole time

the collab stuns everybody bc: “they’re all friends??????” plus, some people start calling them the Four Fucks because at one point penny says “fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and most importantly, fuck me” after simon flinged a bunch of eyeshadow on her

okay so agatha and penny are just like: “these idiots need to get together already” because it’s very obvious that they like each other. like the eiffel tower in paris, you can’t miss it. everyone watching the videos also sees it, so you can imagine the comments

during one of si’s live-streams (he’s playing the hunger games minigame on minecraft), the chat goes wild because baz pops in. he plans on surprising simon with a picnic (he just thought that they could go into simon’s backyard or the park that’s a few miles away), but it was pretty spur of the moment so he didn’t think about simon doing a stream. and to be honest, simon’s stream was also spur of the moment, so it’s not like he made sure to tell baz about it

“simon! hey, i let myself in!” baz called from the front doorway. the chat is freaking because: “is that baz???” “omg baz has a key to simon’s house!!” “are they dating???” simon kind of just freezes up and starts sputtering as he reads the chat and tries to reply to baz

of course, baz doesn’t understand that simon doesn’t want baz to go into his office/room with his computer, so he does go in and as soon as he sees the livestream he’s like: “oh, uh, I’ll go” and simon unfreezes and goes “no, no, stay, I’ll just be a bit” “do you want me to...leave the room?” “you can watch if you want” (baz wants) “okay, sure” so simon pretty much shows baz how to play minecraft

i never finished this, do i?

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