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lovelyhan · 1 year

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— divorce child ⟢

you like to think that your most recent breakup with vernon ended on relatively good terms. there’s only one issue left to sort out: who’s getting custody of the cat you got together?

★ FEATURING; vernon x producer!reader

★ WORD COUNT; 9.2k words

★ TAGS; exes to lovers, mutual pining, fluff, smut (MINORS DNI!)

★ NOTES; 3/4 stories in the series are now up <3 i hope you like this bc i really just wanted an excuse to write something fluffy and adorable with vernon.... he's got me in my feels these past few days fr. small heads up that this fic also features a bunch of characters from again and again, the mingyu installment of the series. this story takes place a couple years after that fic, but you don't necessarily have to read that part to get the events in this one :3c

★ P.S.; this was not proofread as usual lol if you spot any mistakes, do me a favor and pretend they don't exist !

this is part of the doting on you! series.

★ SMUT TAGS; vanilla, clothed sex, wearing ur bf's clothes kink(?), unprotected sex, body worship, praise kink, fingering, oral (f receiving), creampie, the smut is just so sweet okay

★ SVT TAGLIST; @pretty-trustme - @just-here-to-read-01 - @cheolhub - @Idkmelkro - @dejavernon - @venusrae - @jeonghancvunt - @jyiiscool - @jinniesclub - @junhui-recs - @bldelaine - @fruitzcup - @hoeforhao - @candidupped - @emmmui - @billboard-singer - @caratochan - @jkbabiey - @featmia ★ SERIES TAGLIST; @exactlygreatcoffee - @gyusbabydoll - @jeonwonhi - @ti--red

“You sure you don’t need me to pitch in for this month’s check-up? I can always wire you some cash, you know.”

As you zip the pet carrier shut, you roll your eyes despite the fact that Vernon can’t exactly see your expression. Your phone’s sitting all the way on the coffee table but you were so preoccupied with wrestling your cat, Milana into the bag that you couldn’t exactly hold it like a normal person would.

“I’m good. You already covered for me last time, remember?” You remind him before taking the call off loudspeaker before pressing your phone to your ear. “I just got her inside the carrier. Might have to patch up a few scratches before we leave though.”

Vernon laughs. “She always hates going to the vet. It’s nothing too bad, right?”

“I’ve handled worse,” you snort before grabbing a couple of band-aids you keep around various corners of the house for this scenario specifically. “How about you? I thought I remembered Jihoon mentioning that today’s gonna be shut-in day. You know, that time of the month when you guys lock yourselves inside the studio to brainstorm lyrics together. Didn’t think you’d have the time for a phone call.”

“I always have time for a phone call when Milana’s going to the vet,” he says a-matter-of-factly and you can almost picture the warm smile on his face. The thought is enough to make your chest flutter, but you push the feeling down before it can completely come to the surface. “But you are right about shut-in day though. I might have to go in a few, so if there’s anything you need, you better tell me right now or forever hold your peace.”

“Nah. I told you, we’re good,” you insist with an eyeroll before placing band-aids on the scratches that your cat affectionately left all over your arms. “I’ll drop by the company later to drop off a mix that Jihoon asked me to mess around with. But if it’s shut-in day, I doubt we’ll get to see you.”

“Hmm. I can hide his Coke Zero stash outside so he’ll be forced to go out and get it?”

“Now that’s just downright evil.”

“It is. Anyway, aren’t you going to be late?”

“I already am, but Milana’s vet adores her, remember?”

“Nari adores everyone’s pets. Mingyu-hyung told me so.”

“Shush. You talk like our baby isn’t special,” you huff as you sling the strap of the pet carrier across your shoulder. “We’ll head out now. Thanks for checking in, Vernon.”

“...Yeah. Yeah, take care on the way.”

You end the call with your heart racing inside your chest. It’s not the phone call with your ex-boyfriend that flusters you, per-se. You work in the same agency, for god’s sake. Meaning, you’d be in deep shit if talking to him throws you off just because your relationship has already come to an end.

But whenever you jokingly refer to Milana as ‘our’ baby whenever you talk to him, it feels like you’re encroaching on something you’ve already lost a long time ago.

Your listlessness lasts until you pull up by the parking lot. Whether Milana’s staying at yours or at Vernon’s, this pet clinic at the heart of Seoul has always been your go-to. The fact that the attending veterinarian is Mingyu’s girlfriend does wonders to your final bills—she loves giving discounts to regulars and acquaintances—and you like to think you’ve found a friend in her ever since.

The automatic doors slide open when you walk in—Milana’s bag still slung over your shoulder. Chae, the receptionist, flashes you a bright smile before you notice the familiar golden retriever lying in front of the front desk. Old eyes flicker up to you for a moment before his tail twitches once or twice to signal his excitement.

“Good morning, Chae. Good morning, Namja,” you coo before crouching down to pet his head. “Is Nari waiting for me? Sorry for the hold up. It was a bit tough getting this one inside her bag.”

Chae lets out a soft laugh as she types away behind her computer. “Really? Vernon always gushes about how much of a sweetheart she is whenever it’s his turn to bring her in.”

You don’t know whether you should be surprised or embarrassed that Chae knows—or at least has an inkling—of your little arrangement with Vernon. When the two of you were still together, you always brought Milana in at the same time, but now you’re taking turns in bringing your little divorce child to the vet.

But hey, at least you’re still upholding your parental responsibilities, right?

“Of course he does,” you scoff with a shake of your head. “He knows better than anyone that getting Lana inside the bag is a nightmare. This one’s already her third this year. I was thinking of investing in a cage-type carrier instead but Vernon said it was like we’re sending her to prison.”

Chae sighs. “Men. Always so dramatic. Oh, but Doctor Nari’s waiting for you inside.” The receptionist glances at you curiously before you start taking Milana out of the bag so Chae could measure her weight.

It’s a bit of a challenge, handing your full-grown Maine Coon over to Chae, but despite the fact that she thrashes all around before vet visits, Milana has always been tame whenever she’s at the clinic. You manage to settle inside Nari’s office once your cat’s vitals have been measured and her vet is more than happy to see a familiar face.

“Well, if it isn’t Milana and her single mother,” she chuckles. “You here for routine check-ups? Where’s the father, though?”

You roll your eyes—fully aware that she’s only teasing. “Do you ask Vernon where’s the mother when he’s the one who brings her here?”

“Maybe.” Nari smiles before getting up from her desk and receiving your big cat into her arms. “Oh. She’s gotten heavier since the last time she came in.”

“Yeah, her father has been spoiling her with too much catnip. I only found out last week,” you sigh as you settle into one of the seats adjacent to the one across Nari’s desk. “But she’s been hairballing a lot recently. She doesn’t usually groom as much as she does now. Should I be concerned?”

She hums for a moment as she puts on her stethoscope—checking Milana’s heartbeat while her free hand examines your cat’s light brown coat. “Doesn’t look like she has any fleas or mites hanging around, but I can always do a scrape for you if you want the definitive results on paper. Though the excessive grooming could also be caused by stress.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Stress?”

Nari nods before hanging her steth around her neck once more, stroking Milana’s fur with calm affection. “Cats are more easily agitated than dogs. Lots of things can stress them out. Loud music, vacuum cleaners, thunderstorms… Actually, even a switch-up in their pet parent’s schedules is grounds for stress.”

You can only watch in silence as Nari scratches behind Milana’s ears, making your cat purr like a kitten despite the fact that her long limbs are spilling out of her vet’s arms. But regardless of how adorable she looks, Nari’s words got you thinking.

In the tail-end of the breakup, it was a topic that was brought up over and over: who gets to keep Milana? You both split half and half with expenses after the two of you adopted her at a nearby shelter. Not to mention, you both loved her in equal measure, so it was difficult to come to a decision that the two of you could soundlessly agree on. In the end, you settled with the compromise of taking turns watching over Milana because neither of you could stand not being able to see her for too long.

It’s been about three months since you and Vernon call it quits and three months since you’ve agreed on ‘splitting custody’. She stays with you on weekdays and with him on weekends—along with some exceptions for when one party isn’t available. It was also agreed that you’ll take turns bringing her to the vet every month to make sure nothing is amiss with her health.

But when you planned on paying Nari a visit today, you didn’t expect to find out that the fluctuating schedule you and Vernon made a deal out of could be a possible stressor for your cat.

“I think you should just keep her.” Nari suggests, a hint of concern creeping on her face. “You could always tell Vernon to visit Milana whenever he wants to, right? The back-and-forth travel is definitely going to take a toll on this one. Also, cats are smarter than you think. I’m sure she’s already sensed something’s off with her parents a long time ago.”

Milana heaves a deep sigh as if she understood every single word her vet just said and you can’t help the guilt that gnaws at your gut. You thought that this was the best decision you could make for both yours and Vernon’s sanity, but you completely forgot to take Milana’s well-being into account. You can almost hear Nari silently judging you, but you shake your head to rid yourself of the thought.

“We’ll… We’ll talk about it,” you reassure, swallowing the lump in your throat. “But…she’s okay, right? No serious health complications or anything?”

She rolls her eyes. “Sweetie, you’re literally the most responsible cat owner I’ve ever met. No one ever bothers to bring their pets in unless the situation’s already too severe to handle. So you’re good. Milana’s perfectly healthy. Just a little…sad, maybe.”

“Why would she be sad?”

Nari stares at you like you just asked something ridiculous, but thankfully she doesn’t dish out any half-assed remarks about it—opting to settle Milana back onto a nearby examination table to do a couple more physical exams.

“Have I ever told you that me and Gyu used to be in a similar situation in the past?”

You stare at Nari with a bewildered look while her gaze never strays too far from her patient. She even coos out little remarks of praise whenever Milana behaves. How can someone who’s this focused drop such a question in the middle of work?

“Vernon told me you guys split up and got back together after almost a year,” you tell her dryly, not liking the fact that you admitted your ex-boyfriend is a big gossip, but you don’t see any point in hiding the fact that you knew. “What brought it up?”

Nari’s lips twitch into a firm smile before she lifts her gaze to meet yours. “I just think that…you and Vernon? You’re kind of on the same boat we were in before we reconciled. It’s either the two of you are too stubborn or too afraid to see it for what it is.”

Too afraid to…?

“What do you mean?” you ask. “It’s best that we split up, you know? Relationships between co-workers can get ugly really quickly if we forget to be professional. I don’t want us to stop doing the things we love just because of some work-related spat.”

“Then the two of you should just learn how to segregate work from play,” Nari insists before smoothing her gloved hands across Milana’s long torso. “I’m not trying to meddle or anything, okay? It’s just that there’s virtually no reason for you to not get back together. You’re still taking care of Milana together, still checking up on each other, still working together—”

“There it is. That’s the reason why we can’t be together, Nari,” you groan at her stubbornness. “We’re still working together.”

She huffs. “Is there a clause in your company’s contract that prohibits romantic relationships among talents and staff?”

“I’ve never read the fine print, but I’m pretty sure there’s something along those lines somewhere in there.”

“Oh. Well, who cares? Milana needs a loving home where her parents can take care of her at the same time.” Nari then leans down to cup her face in her hands. “Isn’t that right? You need both of them to look after you, hm?”

“So you’re suggesting that Vernon and I should just get back together for Milana’s sake?” you ask half-jokingly and to your surprise, Nari nods like it’s the easiest question in the world.

“Well, I won’t make any assumptions by saying that you’re still in love with him, since you’re the only one who can say that for sure. But come on, do it for the not-so-little baby. You can just learn to love each other again in the process!”

You can hardly believe your ears. In the quick stories that Vernon shared about Mingyu’s girlfriend, you never expected her to be this carefree about the matters of the heart. It must’ve been her six-foot boyfriend’s bubbly personality rubbing off on her.

“Right,” you say with a shallow sigh. “Pray tell, why’d you and Mingyu split up in the first place?”

Nari’s eyes dart to the ceiling as if deep in thought as Milana nibbles playfully at one of her latex-covered fingers. The silence presses on for a few more seconds before she turns to you with a mellowed out expression.

“I thought we weren’t going to work because of how different our jobs are,” she admonishes quietly, lips spread into a thin smile. “But after being an idiot for almost six months, I realized that our jobs don’t matter. I love him. I don’t think I really stopped. Don’t think I’ll ever stop, actually.

“That’s why I was so surprised when I found out you and Vernon broke up three months ago!” Nari continues with a disgruntled look on her face. “The two of you spend so much time in the studio and at your apartment. You even have a child together!” She then gestures dramatically over to Milana. “So forgive me if it doesn’t make sense to me, why the two of you broke up. But won’t you reconsider it? For Milana?”

You shake your head. “Nari, some relationships just aren’t meant to work out. Just because you and Mingyu managed to make good on that second chance, doesn’t mean it’ll be the same with us. We’ve already…settled with what we have right now.”

“What, the endless pining and using the poor cat as an excuse to see each other?” She huffs again and, god, she reminds you so much of Mingyu now it’s actually funny. “Come on, sweetie. I’ve been in your place before, so I know perfectly well. Gosh, this must be how Seungkwan felt when I was still getting my shit together.”

Unsolicited mention of Seungkwan aside, you just don’t see any reason to pursue what Nari is convincing you to do. Nothing really changed after you and Vernon broke up. That’s one of the things you like about him—how easy it is to fall back into a comfortable friendship despite the history you shared.

But you aren’t going to deny the fact that it kind of sucks that you can’t kiss him anymore. Can’t lean into his chair in the studio to pull him into a hug. Can’t tell him you still love him even if…

Oh.

Fuck. You still love him?!

“Fine, fine. Since I have a couple more patients on the waitlist, I’m gonna let you off the hook. For now,” Nari grumbles before handing Milana back to you and taking a seat behind her desk. “Just stick to her usual vitamins and diet and she should be fine until the next visit. But if you want the stress problem to go away…”

“Nari,” you groan. “I’m not getting back together with him.”

“Hey, that is not what I was saying,” Nari rebuts with her hands up in surrender. “I was gonna suggest that you just lessen her traveling! Maine Coons are usually really active, but Milana’s a bit of a…homebody, isn’t she? Might not like all that moving around between yours and Vernon’s apartments.”

“But she’s literally with me five days a week. Won’t she have plenty of rest time then?”

“Oh, who am I kidding? Just get back together soon, pretty please?”

Yep. Mingyu’s definitely rubbed off on her.

When you get home later in the afternoon, Milana is quick to slink off to her usual spot behind the sofa to take a nap while you make a beeline for the kitchen.

It’s always been a post vet visit ritual to get take out to eat at home—even when you and Vernon were still together. However, you opted against the practice for now because not only does it remind you of your ex, but eating all alone in your apartment will only give you more leeway to think about the things Nari told you earlier today.

If you make your own food like you are now, your mind is at least preoccupied enough that you don’t have enough thinking room to even wonder if Vernon even wants you back.

By the time the sun sets, Milana is still dozing behind the couch and you have a potful of pasta noodles and enough red sauce to last you five days. Another thing that you overlooked whenever you cook inside the house is that you almost always cook enough servings to feed two people. Whether subconsciously or not, you can’t bring yourself to hate how your habits are still attuned to the lifestyle you had three months ago.

Before you and Vernon broke up.

“Work,” you mutter to yourself as you dump some pasta and sauce into a bowl. “If I work, I won’t think about him anymore.”

Not-so wise words from a not-so wise person because newsflash: the time that you and your ex spent in your studio is leagues more than the time you spent together in the bedroom. Vernon has already cleared out his leftover gear from your home office, but memories aren’t something he can pack up and leave with so easily.

You recall quiet afternoons where you’d bounce ideas about their group’s next song off each other—sometimes with Jihoon and Seungcheol connected to a Discord call, but more often in the privacy of each other’s company.

There were also gloomy days where it rained all day long. Milana would curl up on Vernon’s lap while he played around with the software on your computer—sometimes using the weird sounds she makes as samples to add into the mix along with the soft drizzle pattering against the windowpane.

But it’s even harder to just forget about all the times the two of you came together intimately within the soundproof walls. You can’t even count how many times Vernon has eaten you out while you’re perched on top of your work desk—one hand muffling your moans despite the fact that no one outside the studio can ever hope to hear you. The world is none the wiser when Vernon pulls you onto his lap, bouncing you on his length until he’s spilling into you with gratuitous release.

In the present, there you are in the ear-splitting silence of your studio—the music software your ex bought for you ages ago seemingly glaring at you for spacing out again. You know you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself since it’s easier to come up with the perfect beats when you’ve got a rough draft of the lyrics in front of you—something that Jihoon and Vernon are busy getting done today.

But still. You can’t help the frustration because you’ve been functioning normally since the breakup. Sitting in the studio didn’t usually lead to you reminiscing about the countless hours you and Vernon spent here together. Making dinner never made you miss having someone to eat across from you at the dining table.

If only Nari didn’t breathe a word about your ex-boyfriend and all the reasons why you should just get back together. Maybe you would’ve remained rational. Maybe you wouldn’t have started considering things that are beyond your control.

Maybe you wouldn’t be hoping so badly for something to happen.

You try to distract yourself by listening to and reviewing the mix you’re supposed to hand over to Jihoon today. The visit you planned on making to the company was canceled since neither he nor Vernon were answering their phones, which usually means they’re taking shut-in day seriously for once.

The track continues to stream through the speakers as you munch on your dinner, filling the room with a quiet melody that would make a great ballad once the lyrics are in place. But no matter how good Jihoon’s music is, no matter how delicious your cooking can be, it isn’t enough to quell the thoughts that have been suffocating you all day.

You still…love Vernon.

If you didn’t, your apartment wouldn’t feel as lonely as it does. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have to feel so awkward whenever you bring Milana to the vet all alone.

But part of you insists that you’re just being carried away by the ideas that Nari planted in your head. You’ve been doing fine on your own for the past three months. How is today any different?

Your senseless overthinking gets worse before it gets better.

The next thing you know, you’re scrolling through your gallery, unearthing pictures whose existence you’ve long forgotten about. You’ve spent almost three years with Vernon—two years officially before getting Milana on your second anniversary. Tons of photos were snapped, countless memories created.

You could’ve snapped more photos, could’ve made more memories if only you hadn’t split up. The fact that (what should’ve been) your third anniversary passed a few weeks ago, stings more than it’s supposed to. That day, Vernon jokingly asked if you wanted to celebrate by your usual spot in the park a few neighborhoods away and you jokingly rejected his offer by saying you had a sitcom to catch up on.

Part of you wishes you accepted the invitation. Maybe the joke could’ve been subverted into something real, and maybe you could’ve been back in his arms by now.

That night, you go to bed with a mild headache and a million thoughts racing through your mind. It isn’t Jihoon’s sad, mellow mix that drones on and on in your head, but a single question that you aren’t sure if you’ll ever get a proper answer to.

How can you still love someone you were so sure that you didn’t anymore?

Come morning, you wake up with a heart that’s heavier than last night and the glaring realization that Milana is missing.

Panicking isn’t usually your first instinct when it comes to your cat. Milana is fairly easy to spot because she’s built more massive than your regular neighborhood felines. But when you’ve already scoured the vicinity for your beloved Maine Coon, it becomes clearer and clearer that she’s nowhere to be found.

You ask around with your neighbors—fairly certain that they know what Milana looks like since she slinks out of the house every now and again. What makes this particular situation worrisome is that she hasn’t come bolting back inside your apartment when you brought out the goddamn catnip. So, when your neighbors begrudgingly tell you that, no, they haven’t seen an oversized house cat prancing around the area, you don’t know what to do.

“Wait, come again?”

“She’s missing, Nari,” you whine into your cell as you nervously bite down on your nails. “I… I was so sure that I locked everything last night, but when I woke up, the front door was wide open and Milana’s just gone.”

Your friend curses at the other end of the line and from the concerned voices in the background, you figure that you must’ve called at a busy time in the clinic.

“Sorry for bothering you,” you tell her while choking down a sob. “Just…give me a ring if ever you or Chae see her around the clinic.”

“It’s not a bother at all! I’m sorry I can’t be of more help,” Nari sighs. “I’ll keep in touch. Oh, but it’s also worth considering that cats like familiar places. If you’re going to look for her, you can start with that.”

“Alright, thank you, Nari.”

After hanging up on her, you bury your face in the palms of your hands—sticky tears matting your skin as you breathe in sharply. You’ve never had to deal with a lost pet before. How the hell are you supposed to find Milana in a city that’s as big as Seoul?

You consider calling the police to file a report, but you’re not sure if pet cats even count for a missing person’s case. They wouldn’t be of any help if it didn’t. The only thing you can do right now is go outside and look for her yourself.

You’re quick to pull on an old sweatshirt you once nabbed from Jihoon before heading out—simultaneously texting every one of your friends about the situation as you scout further out of your neighborhood. Hell, you even contacted the animal shelter you and Vernon adopted Milana from out of sheer desperation.

Thankfully, a handful of them responded right away with a promise that they’ll keep a close eye out for any Maine Coons that surely don’t belong in their areas.

But no matter where you look, you always end up back to square one. It doesn’t help that Milana doesn’t usually wander too far from your apartment, which means that you have no clue where she could’ve possibly gone.

Nari mentioned that cats like familiar places, but the only places that are remotely familiar to Milana are yours and Vernon’s apartments.

Yours and Vernon’s…

You quickly bolt back to your place—scrambling to your car before fumbling to get the keys into the ignition. A few failed attempts and very loud cursing later, you manage to rev the engine to life. The next thing you know, you’re pulling into the street with an urgency that’s barely beating the speed limit.

Given that it’s still a weekend, you don’t have to come into work, which means that you have no idea what the boys’ schedule looks like right now. You’re not even sure if Vernon is in the same city, but you’d rather risk the off-chance that he isn’t in Seoul than do nothing.

You try your best to keep an eye on the road all while dialing up your ex-boyfriend as well as doing your best to obey every Korean traffic law there is. The first call goes straight to voicemail and you would’ve crashed into an SUV that’s idling by a red light if you hadn’t angrily brought down your foot on the brakes. Why the hell isn’t he answering?!

By the time you’ve made it to the street that led to his apartment complex, you’re already shaking with anxiousness. Dozens of uncertainties flit into your mind a million miles per minute. What if he doesn’t know where she is? What if he gets mad at you for losing Milana? Hell, what if he isn’t even here?

Shoving down all these biting questions, you park haphazardly across the street, locking your car behind you as you jog up to the steps that lead to the entrance. You don’t know how to feel about the fact that the receptionist at the counter still recognizes you—even going as far as flashing you a kind smile and informing you that Vernon is just upstairs. You wordlessly thank her for the tip before jamming a thumb on the elevator buttons.

You tap your foot impatiently across the marble tiles. Why the hell did Vernon choose to live in a place where you have to use elevators just to get home? Your apartment’s much more accessible especially in times like this when you feel like you’re going to explode with how fucking nervous you are—

The elevator dings when it arrives at the ground floor, making your nerves jump back into focus. You’re completely ready to brush past whoever’s getting out so you can come up to your ex-boyfriend’s apartment faster, but when you meet said ex-boyfriend’s surprised gaze at the mouth of the elevator, your prior urgency comes into a screeching halt.

He’s dressed like he usually is on lazy days—ugly checkered pajama pants, a tour shirt from some Western band that he probably hasn’t listened to a day in his life, and that perpetual bedhead he always sports whenever he just rolled out of bed.

God, he looks so good. It’s so fucking unfair.

“Hey,” he greets awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. “I was just about to head out and grab breakfast… Uh, make that brunch. Did you need something?”

You don’t even dare to dawdle. “Is Milana with you?”

Vernon cranes his head in confusion and the look makes your heart sink like a stone. “Last I recall, you’re the one who brought her to and from the vet yesterday. Aren’t we missing a couple of chapters here or…?”

You meant to explain the situation as concisely as you possibly can to him. Vernon’s always been an easy going guy. You’re sure that he won’t resent you for it when he finds out that you lost the daughter you’ve been sharing custody over. Even if some irrational part of your brain insists that he will.

But instead of coherent words, all that comes out of your mouth is a choked up sob.

The curve between Vernon’s neck and shoulder is as comfortable as you recall as you press your face against the crook of it—letting the tears run from your eyes and across his pale skin. You vaguely feel him wrap a protective arm around your frame while his free hand smooths down your hair and it makes you wonder why he’s patient enough to let you cry in his arms despite not having explained what the hell even happened yet.

He’s thoughtful enough to bring you to a more secluded corner of the lobby, calming you down by rubbing soothing shapes on your back with his hand and never letting you stray too far from his embrace. It helps that his low voice is there to keep you grounded—telling you that everything’s going to be fine and you just have to breathe, love.

It works after a few minutes and Vernon only lets you let go when he’s sure you’re not in danger of suffocating on your own tears anymore.

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” he murmurs, taking your hand in his. A small gesture that you’re too selfish to resist. “Is it about Lana?”

You nod weakly. “She’s…gone, Vernon. I have no idea where she went, but she’s gone.”

He hums in understanding and surprisingly enough, the understanding glint in his eyes never wavers. It’s a bit off-putting since you expected him to at least be shocked by the news, but it’s almost like he’s used to hearing that your pet cat just ran away.

“Right. I forgot to tell you about this new habit of hers.” He chuckles with an apologetic smile before one of his hands reaches up to wipe the tears off your cheeks. The close proximity has heat rising to your face, but you’re too stunned to react.

“I read somewhere that it’s good for Maine Coons to wander around to stretch out their limbs. Nari also told me last month that Lana could use the exercise, so whenever she comes over to mine, I let her out without supervision. She eventually finds her way to the lobby and just waits for me to come back if I’m ever running a little late.”

You listen to every word of Vernon’s explanation with a look of disbelief. All this time, you were worried sick about how he’ll react to the news that you lost your cat, but he’s been letting her go out and about when it’s his turn to look after her?

“Then where is she now?” you ask—not bothering to pick a fight with him now of all times.

Vernon hums for a moment as if considering the options and you don’t miss how his fingers tighten around yours when he gives you an answer.

“I might have a good idea.”

When Vernon suggested for you to head to the park just a few minutes away from your apartment as he climbed into the passenger seat, you merely scowled at him. “Milana is afraid of all the dogs that go for walks there. The only dog she isn’t scared of is Namja.”

“Just trust me,” he insists as you start the car. “Better we look there and find nothing than not look when there turns out to be something.”

His logic isn’t so flawed after all when he briskly leads you down a familiar walkway to an even more familiar location. It’s a small hill that’s got a perfect view of the river nearby. The upslope is lined with plum blossom trees that bloom even more vibrantly in spring and it just so happens that one of those trees is dubbed as yours and Vernon’s usual spot.

It’s where you and him usually hang out when the air in the studio has gotten a bit too stale to bring forth any sort of output. The outdoors can offer all sorts of inspiration when it comes to writing and producing songs and it’s common practice to make the trip to the usual spot when either of you are suffering from a nasty bout of creativity block.

And under the shade of the tree in the said usual spot is none other than Milana—curled up in deep slumber as plum blossom petals drift onto her pale brown fur.

You don’t even feel bad for rudely disturbing her from her comfortable nap, immediately pulling her into an abrupt embrace as you feel the tears welling in your eyes again. Milana lets out a strangled meow—claws straining against your skin with a threat of attack if you don’t knock it off. But you can’t bring yourself to care. You’d gladly use up all the band-aids in the world after she scratches you up if it means you can get to hug her for a few seconds more.

“There she is. All cozy at that.”

Vernon’s smooth voice startles you out of your relief—so overwhelmed to see your cat again that you almost forgot that you had company.

“I told you she’d be here,” he laughs before reaching out to pet her head. “You got us worried though. Don’t go wandering too far, okay, Lana? You scared your mom shitless, you know?”

Milana responds with a disgruntled noise but you can feel her claws retract nonetheless. Damn Vernon and the fact that he’s obviously the favorite parent…

She seems considerably happier when you deposit her into her father’s arms—nuzzling his chest with a satisfied purr as you and Vernon start to descend the hill.

But as he showers her with affection, you can’t help but sneak brief glances in your ex-boyfriend’s direction. Vernon has always been easy on the eyes. That’s one of the reasons you were drawn to him in the first place. But whenever you see him like this—laughing goofily as he teases Milana, the high of his cheekbones dusted red with a shower of plum blossoms gliding all over…

The gods are cruel to think you could ever put up a fight.

When Vernon comes over to bring Milana back to your apartment, you don’t expect him to stay for too long. He mentioned on the way that yesterday’s shut-in session was a complete success and that they’ve got all their work cut out for them. All they need is a green light from the higher-ups before Jihoon can start handing the song samples to the company’s usual team of producers—a team that just happens to include you.

So yeah, you don’t expect Vernon to linger because he’s obviously got a lot on his plate. The man hasn’t even had breakfast or brunch or whatever. So when he surprisingly decides to stay and rummages through your fridge for the pasta noodles and red sauce you’ve been saving for tonight, it’s like you never broke up with him at all.

The sight is almost too familiar for you to bear.

Vernon sitting on the kitchen counter, helping himself to some day-old pasta as his long legs dangled over the edge. Milana watching his feet sway around with keen eyes as she attempts to swipe at them with her claws. Not to mention you, who’s staring at the two of them like they’re the most precious things in the world.

“Hey, this is really good,” Vernon compliments with half his mouth stuffed with noodles. “You’re using that one Italian tomato sauce that I like, right? Man, I missed this a lot.”

You will yourself to snap out of whatever trance his presence has got you in before walking closer to him with a soft laugh. You lean across the counter, grabbing a fork from the drawer where you keep your silverware to help yourself to some of the pasta that he haphazardly tossed into the microwave.

“It could’ve been better if you heated the noodles properly in boiling water.” You shake your head. “Then again, you’ve always been impatient when it comes to food.”

“Not as impatient as Seokmin-hyung,” he snickers. “One time when we were still staying back in the dorms, Mingyu-hyung just put the lasagna in the oven but Seokmin-hyung was already yelling about when it’ll be ready to eat. Actually, he always does that even if one of us just pops something in the microwave.”

You shake your head, recalling the words of Nari’s receptionist, Chae. “Men. Always so dramatic.”

Vernon snickers in agreement. “Like you wouldn’t believe.”

You fall into conversation with him so easily, it’s almost unreal. When Vernon finishes his food, the two of you eventually migrate to the living room—catching up with each other in a way that you don’t really have the time to whenever he comes over to pick up Milana from your apartment in the past.

Speaking of Milana, your cat acts as a barrier of sorts between you and Vernon, lying comfortably in the space that the two of you left unfilled. Cuddling up to him on the couch used to be so easy, it’s almost second nature, but now that you’re nothing but co-workers that are friends at best, you’ve got a lot more reservations than you used to have.

“By the way, I’ve been looking everywhere for that sweatshirt,” he muses before pointing at the graphic crewneck you’re wearing. “I thought I lost it in the laundry or that Seungkwan might’ve nabbed it when he came over to my place.”

“Why is he your first suspect?” you snort. “Also, what are you talking about? This is Jihoon’s.”

Vernon blinks at you, a little confused. “No, that’s mine. Jihoon-hyung must’ve borrowed it from me and let you borrow it after. When did you even get it from him?”

“Um. About a month ago?”

“That explains it then.”

You roll your eyes. “Look, if you want your sweatshirt back, I can just give it to you.”

“No, it’s okay. You can keep it,” he insists, one hand drifting onto Milana’s head so he can scratch her ears. “You’ve always looked good in my clothes anyway.”

Silence fills the room almost uncomfortably at how easy it is for him to admit that. The sudden shift in the atmosphere occurs to Vernon a little late and the smile on his face falls when he realizes what he just said.

“Oh, I didn’t… I mean—”

“It’s— It’s okay,” you interject meekly, managing a shy smile as you tug on the sleeves of your—his—sweatshirt. “I always liked wearing your clothes too.”

You’re perfectly aware that you should know how to hold yourself accountable for the things you say. That goes the same for Vernon. So when the two of you willingly let the other hear such controversial things that co-workers-slash-friends probably shouldn’t be saying to each other, you’re not sure what to make of the situation.

Are you reading him wrong? Or is he actually reciprocating your misplaced longing, no matter how subtle? It’s always been hard to tell with Vernon, who’s never straightforward with what he wants to communicate. Always trusting that you would understand the nuance of his every action, his every word, when all they do is make your head spin.

The sight is perfectly domestic—lounging comfortably on the sofa after a good meal, both of your feet kicked up on the coffee table, and your big baby daughter purring quietly from where she lies between the two of you.

But even if three months doesn’t seem like a whole lot, it’s enough time for some…due changes to eventually set.

“You know…” Vernon starts, sucking in a deep breath almost like he’s nervous.

“Do I know what?”

His eyes flicker over to the ceiling as if praying for some sort of deliverance before forcing himself to meet your gaze again. There’s a look in his eyes that you can’t parse right away, and you wonder if you can ever understand what it is.

“I… I still listen to that old mixtape you gave me. Do you remember? The one you gave to me when we first met?” he murmurs quietly, bringing his hands onto his lap so he can twiddle with his thumbs. “Before we have to come up on stage and I start feeling nervous, I just listen to a softcopy of that mixtape on my phone. I still do now.”

That mixtape… He still has that? Moreover, he managed to save a softcopy and downloaded it onto his phone? You would’ve asked him how on earth he managed to do that, if you weren’t so startled about his sudden revelation.

“Your voice always gives me strength. Even when we weren’t together yet—even if we’re not together anymore.” Vernon purses his lips, a sad look eclipsing the sincerity in his eyes as he strokes Milana’s fur thoughtfully. “So I’m really sorry if you think I’m overstaying my welcome today. I definitely am. But I just— I just wanted to be selfish for once.I wanted to spend a little more time with you because I know you’ll go back to distancing yourself from me once I leave.”

When he turns to face you, you know it’s the real deal. There’s a spark of determination in his eyes that scares you a little—like he’s about to say something you’re not ready to hear yet regardless of how badly you want to.

But before he can get a chance to utter the words, your phone starts ringing on the coffee table. You’ve never swooped in to answer a call so quickly in your life.

“Hello, what’s up?” You nearly cringe at how bubbly your voice sounds as you get up from the couch.

“Hey, have you found Milana?” Nari’s voice flows into your ear, genuine concern lacing each word. “I asked Mingyu to look around with Namja, but no dice. I could contact some other friends if you—”

“It’s okay, Nari,” you interject, fingers drumming across your thigh. “We already found her.”

Your friend makes a curious noise. “Who’s we?”

You nearly balk when Vernon plucks the phone out of your hands, pressing it to his ear with a smug grin that you don’t usually see him wear.

“Who else?” he says. “Thanks for checking in, Nari. But we’re kind of…busy.”

The call isn’t even on loudspeaker but you can obviously hear the way Nari gasps like Vernon just unveiled some scandalous secret. “Oh my god. Are you—”

Vernon ends the call before tossing your phone back onto the couch, startling Milana out of her nap. Your cat flashes Vernon something similar to a dirty look before hopping off the cushions and sauntering off elsewhere. You just hope she doesn’t retaliate by wandering outside again.

But your cat’s newest penchant for wandering around is the last thing on your mind because even if you’re not facing him, you can sense Vernon’s towering presence directly behind you.

You don’t resist when he hugs you from behind—resting his forehead against your shoulder as he breathes out a shuddering sigh. His arms still feel like home despite being months into the breakup and you don’t know how to fucking deal with it.

“I still love you. Never stopped,” he whispers. “It was…completely stupid of me to think we’re better off as friends just because we’re coworkers. You’re too important to me. I don’t want to be your friend. I want to—”

You don’t even give him leeway to finish that sentence, whirling around in his embrace as you meet his lips in a quiet kiss.

In a split second, several things happen at once. Dying stars collide. Black holes collapse. Eternities unspool.

And you start to realize that you can’t live without Vernon Chwe.

“Shit, Hansol, please.”

Vernon loves how his other name falls so gracefully from your lips—loves how you frame the words in such an…interesting way. You only ever call him that when you’re feeling particularly strong emotions—happiness, anger, disappointment…

Pleasure.

He heaves a long sigh as he peels himself away from the home he’s made between your thighs. You’re not sure how long Vernon has been eating you out, but your brain is close to melting and you can’t process any other coherent thoughts aside from how your cunt still tingles from the orgasm he just gave you.

Your panties have long been discarded on the bedroom floor. All you’re donned with now is the old sweatshirt that you thought belonged to Jihoon but turns out was Vernon’s property all along. He insisted that you keep it on—emphasizing just how much he likes seeing you in his clothes before promptly robbing you of your capacity to think by eating pussy like it was his life’s purpose.

It doesn’t help that he looks so fucking delectable between your legs—big hands splayed across the sensitive flesh of your thighs as he looks up at you with a dazed expression. His lips are parted, still glossy from the aftermath of your release and the look in his eyes almost makes it seem like he’s the one who’s just been eaten out to completion.

“Fuck, ‘Sol,” you whimper, head falling back onto the pillows as you shield your eyes with your arm. You can’t even look at him without feeling like you’re about to combust. “Stop staring at me like that…”

Vernon leans down to pry your arm off your face—forcing you to meet his loving gaze before pressing your arm down onto the mattress.

“Like what?” he whispers, the blunt of his nail scraping against your bottom lip.

“Like you want to swallow me whole.”

His eyes almost crinkle with how wide he smiles at you and you nearly writhe with anticipation when you feel his drenched fingers prodding your slicked entrance again.

“What if I tell you that’s exactly what I want?”

Vernon’s mouth is on yours before you can even breathe, tongue bullying its way past your lips as he licks into your mouth. He slips the digits he used to tease you back into your wet channel and you delight in how he swallows your moans as he pumps them inside at a languid pace. Vernon has always been good at building your release from the ground up—never one to rush any orgasms he’s willing to give. As long as you feel good, he’ll exercise as much patience as he can.

“V-Vernon,” you gasp when he curls his fingers and thumbs at your clit at the same time, flicking your sensitive bud with just the right amount of pleasure that has your toes curling with pleasure. “Fuck, please, please—”

“Sounds so good for me,” he sighs, taking your bottom lip between his teeth before giving a delicious tug. “Wanna record all your pretty noises and use it in a song. D’you want that too, love? Want everyone to hear how nice you sound?”

The idea of him using your voice in the throes of pleasure for such a mundane thing sends a rush of heat straight to your core. You moan in reply, rubbing your needy cunt against his hand in a desperate attempt to get yourself off. Vernon chuckles against your lips and his teasing almost makes you pout, if only he isn’t so fucking good at finding your g-spot.

The first time he makes you come, it’s with his mouth and the second is after he expertly picks you apart with his fingers. But no matter how well Vernon knows your body, you still think it’s fucking unfair for him to coax orgasm after orgasm from you like it’s as easy as breathing.

“Hansol,” you whisper—brain too fucked out to segreget his two names properly. “Want you inside me. Want all of you.”

He shakes his head with an audible tut, slipping his fingers out of your pulsing hole. The action makes you mewl in protest, but Vernon brings those same fingers to your lips to silence you.

“You have to work on your patience, love,” he murmurs, angling his face a little before his lips descend onto your neck. “It’s been a while since I’ve had you like this… I want to savor you. You’ll let me do that, right?”

All you can do is answer him with a helpless nod.

His sweatshirt is off in a split second, revealing your body to him in a way that makes you want to hide underneath the covers. He gazes at you so intensely, it makes you wonder how someone you broke up with three months ago still looks at you like it's the first time.

Vernon writes poetry onto your skin with each caress of his lips, making sure you feel everything he’s doing to you as he leaves no inch of your body untouched. Sex with him has always been intense, not because he likes to fuck hard and fast but because he likes to take his time—to sink himself into your skin deep enough that you can’t ever hope to flush him out of your system.

That’s probably one of the reasons why you just couldn’t bring yourself to stop loving him. He’s become such a fundamental part of your life that living without him is the same as breathing without oxygen.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs as his lips latch onto your breasts. “So fucking beautiful.”

Vernon isn’t a man of many words. You’ve come to know this for a fact, so whenever he spills all these compliments for you to hear, it makes your heart swell inside your chest. A handful of other people have called you that in the past, but when the words come from Vernon’s mouth, it feels like the gospel truth.

Fortunately, your lover was never too cruel to you. Sure, he likes to instill the value of patience, but Vernon never found the appeal of bringing your partner to tears because of their unquenchable need for release.

He doesn’t even make you beg for his cock. Vernon simply lines up the tip with your swollen entrance before slowly pushing inside—dark eyes cognizant of every shift in your expression to make sure he isn’t hurting you. When all he sees is you whimpering from how good it feels to be split open by his cock, he knows he’s doing it right.

“I love you,” he whispers breathlessly—hoping the words won’t be lost in the midst of the mind-numbing pleasure. “I’m so in love with you.”

He ploughs you into the mattress slowly, deeply, wanting you to feel every inch of his cock as he fucks into you. Vernon is rarely vocal with his words when it comes to sex, but he makes up for it with the pleasurable sounds that escape his lips. And with how long it’s been since the two of you lied together like this, you wouldn’t blame him for feeling more unhinged than usual.

“I love you, too, ‘Sol,” you sigh but the words are eclipsed with a high-pitched keen when he amps up the pace of his thrusts.

“I love hearing you say that,” Vernon groans, biting his lip until he can taste iron on his tongue.

“Then I’ll keep saying it.” It’s a miracle how you manage to get the words out when he’s quite literally punching the breath out of your lungs with each stroke. “I’ll say I love you while you’re fucking me. I’ll say I love you even when you’re not.”

“I’ll say it all the time if it means you’ll come back to me.”

For a moment, the intense pace he’s set falters—eyes wide and mouth agape. You worry that you must’ve said something out of turn, but Vernon proves you wrong by pulling you forward into a tight embrace, fucking up into your tight cunt with a kind of vigor that you never would’ve associated with someone as easy going as he is.

“I’m yours, love.” he rasps against your neck, teeth grazing the skin just above the thrum of your pulse. “I’ll always be yours.”

The sudden switch in positions and the sincerity of his words is what pushes you over the edge a third time—making you cling onto Vernon like a lifeline as he continues fucking you through your orgasm. You can tell that he’s close. His strokes are more erratic, more frantic. Now that he’s brought you to the pinnacle, he doesn’t see any reason why he shouldn’t make it to that same paradise too.

When he comes, it’s a burst of white hot pleasure that singes through every single nerve ending in Vernon’s brain. You let out such an adorable little whimper as his cum coats your insides in generous spurts, filling you to the brim with his emission with the full intention of keeping it inside you for days.

But as much as he loves entertaining the idea of defiling you until everyone in the world knows you belong to him…

He’s always put great importance in the art of aftercare.

Both of you try very hard to ignore Milana’s judgemental stare as Vernon carries you to the bathroom—propping you up on the toilet cover first as he draws a warm bath. But from the way she dismissively leaves the two of you to your own devices after a few minutes, you like to think that you’ve gotten her seal of approval.

Your no-longer-ex-boyfriend gently lays you into the tub with him, reaching out for the soap on one of your toiletry holders as he massages you everywhere you’re sore. You let out a satisfied sigh before resting the back of your head against his firm shoulder.

“How’re you going to explain to the higher-ups that you’re dating one of their producers again?” you chuckle, placing your hand on top of his as he continues to clean you up. “Maybe I should just find a job somewhere else. A place where it isn’t illegal to have an idol as a boyfriend.”

“Maybe,” he muses before placing a firm kiss on your temple. “But whatever happens, I know I’ll always stick by you no matter what.”

You turn around, arching an eyebrow at him. “Even if it’ll cost you your job?”

You completely expect him to backtrack a little. Vernon is obsessed with you—you get that. But probably not to a point where he’s willing to breach the company’s contract just to keep being with you, right?

But for some reason, it sounds so fucking easy for him to say it when he whispers:

“Even if it’ll cost me my job.”

⟢ end notes: this is probably the sweetest thing i've ever written bc i personally headcanon vernon as someone who loves his s/o so deeply, it consumes him (like in a good way yk). i had so much fun writing this (esp since i got to sneak in vet!reader from again and again under the name nari hehe) so i rly hope you enjoyed it! do look forward to the last part of this series, which will feature resident catboy jeon wonwoo <3

this is part of the doting on you! series.

#svthub #seventeen smut #vernon smut #hansol smut #seventeen fanfic #chwe vernon fic #lovelyhan #full length fic 📚

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lunarfleur · 9 months

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Earth 42! Miles Morales with Autistic s/o hcs!

Tagging: @juneberrie @sluggmuffin @nagi3seastorm @hiyaitssans @enchanting-violet @luvjunie @milesmolasses

A/N: I did this for my own enjoyment, okay? This is based on my own personal experiences with autism, but I tried to keep it as friendly as possible! Not everyone’s the same, you know?

This is x gender neutral reader!

I’m gonna start this out by talking about how easy it is to feel comfortable in Miles’s bedroom.

He always has his normal lights turned off and LED lights turned on because it’s more comfortable for him

So he’d let you adjust them to how you like it.

He likes lighting candles so it always smells good in there

It’s always clean so there’s no mess to overwhelm you (just bc sometimes messes overwhelm me)

And he has a small space heater so it’s pretty easy to get the room to the right temperature.

It’s quiet in there and his bed is so warm and so cozy

Would recommend.

There’s no need to mask with him. I mean it. He wants you to be comfortable with him and open about yourself.

He won’t judge you.

With your permission, he did tell him mom before you met her

In case things got overwhelming, or something just didn’t go right, he wanted to make sure she understood. (She did.)

Miles was already the kind of boyfriend who has notes in his phone dedicated to information about you

So he has one with any and all of your sensory issues typed out

He had them memorized, but it was just in case.

If you need them, he always has a pair of noise canceling headphones in his backpack for you (he’s one of those kids who carries his backpack everywhere).

Please please please let him listen to you talk about your special interests and hyperfixations!

Bros invested

It’s his favorite thing, listening to the people he loves talk about the things they love

Shows, books, movies…

I know when I’m hyperfixating on a show or movie it’s the only thing I’ll watch (I’ve seen The Mighty Duck movies at least 25 times EACH) he will watch and rewatch them with you

He doesn’t get bored either. He likes getting to enjoy what you enjoy. It makes him feel closer to you

Would definitely subconsciously memorize any signals you may give off

If you have bad habits for when you’re overwhelmed (idk if this is an autism thing for me, but like when I’m overwhelmed I scratch my skin and bite my nails a lot) he’d calmly just like…stop it?

Like pulling your hand away and letting you fidget with his fingers or clothes

He’s a very patient guy, you know? And he loves you.

And he’s so good with meltdowns? Or panic/anxiety attacks. All of the above, basically.

He’s so quick to realize what’s happening and is even quicker to get you away from what’s making it worse (I.E: leaving the room/building to take you somewhere quiet, etc.)

He doesn’t complain or get upset about anything during a meltdown because he knows you can’t help it

Asks for permission before touching you, gives you as much time and space as you need

And is absolutely there for aftercare, too.

He knows it can be exhausting. He’s definitely extra careful with you after a meltdown because he doesn’t want to make anything worse

He keeps things at his house for you, too. Fidgets, comfort foods…bro keeps a weighted blanket on his bed just for you.

He does his research. You’re not going to find any gray areas in his brain

Now, he’s a pretty touchy, feely guy

He likes holding you and loving on you, having you close to him..

So I can see him getting disappointed when you let him know that you don’t want that

But he gets over it pretty quickly

He lets you do things at your own pace and is completely open to a compromise about this kind of stuff

And Miles isn’t afraid to ask you questions, either. But if you don’t have an answer, it’s okay.

If you’re overstimulated and/or going through sensory overload, he’s gonna do his best to get you what you need

He gets that, in times like that, communicating can be hard. That’s why it’s so good that’s he’s so patient. He keeps his voice gentle and his tone doesn’t change

He’s extra straightforward with you to avoid any miscommunication

Overall?

10/10. Would recommend.

#earth 42 miles x you #earth 42 miles fluff #earth 42 miles morales x reader #earth 42 miles morales #miles morales #earth 42 miles morales x you #atsv #across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse #x gender neutral reader #x autistic reader

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thecreelhouse · 4 months

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part time soulmate, full time problem

Paring: Gator Tillman x Alt Fem!Reader (she/her pronouns) || MDNI!

Summary: Gator’s sleep deprived but dead set on setting up that goddamn air mattress, which the two of you use for anything but sleeping.

Word count: 4.2k+

CW/Tags: language, mutual masturbation, oral sex/face riding (fem receiving), soft switch (both Gator and Reader), praise kink, dirty talk, brief anal play, squirting, brief body image/self esteem issues, tooth rotting fluff, orgasm induced syncope (i am so sorry lmfao), sleepy confessions, gator being a lovable idiot

Series Masterlist // Read on AO3

A/N: hi y’all!! thanks for all the kind words in the tags and replies about this series!! I’m glad others are enjoying this, bc I’ve been having lots of fun writing this. This chapter is kinda silly and a bit of a filler, but hopefully it still keeps y’all fellow sluts happy and entertained :’) <3

Day 6

It’s one in the morning, and you’re still awake. So is Gator. And the two of you are delirious at this point, running on broken sleep schedules.

The two of you were bundled back up in the coziest sleep clothes while the fireplace burned on and illuminated the room in a soft, warm glow. Gator blew up the air mattress like he suggested, but you were skeptical about the idea.

“We’re gonna end up on the floor by sunrise.” You warn with a yawn, side eyeing the mattress with arms crossed. “These things never stay inflated.”

“No, no, look, this one’s high quality, okay?” Gator insists, slapping the mattress as the air pump raises it from the collapsed state it was just in. “This thing doesn’t deflate, I swear.”

“Didn’t you say that when we went camping in middle school?” You argue with the memory fresh in your mind. “We ended up on the ground and the tent leaked from the storm, so we got all soggy and sad.”

Gator snorts at the memory, “Yeah, but if we did sleeping bags we still woulda’ got wet.”

“This isn’t the same mattress, is it?”

“Wh— no!” Gator grumbles, focused on closing the entrance for air before it begins leaking. “Look, look how big it is! Now that,” Gator slaps the top of the mattress one more time before grinning at you, “That’s a firm mattress. That thing means business.”

You’re giggling at his enthusiasm. “You sound like a dad that found a deal on an air mattress at the hiking store.”

“You just can’t appreciate a good mattress.” Gator’s totally more delirious than you at this point, with less sleep in his system than you. “Look, watch, are you watching?”

“Gator, I am literally staring at you, what the fuck else should I do? Throw my eyeballs at you?”

“This won’t deflate. Seriously, watch me, I’ll show you,” Gator jumps onto the air mattress like a child would, and he’s right, it doesn’t deflate. It does, however, bounce him back into the air and onto the hardwood floor.

You gasp, but can’t hold back more giggles. “Are you- oh my god- Gator that was so fucking—“

He’s face down on the floor, cutting you off with one hand raising in the air, flipping the bird.

“You did this to yourself, Tillman.” The laughter continues, but you move to his side, glancing down at the exhausted heap his body landed on the floor into. “You want some ice?”

Gator turns his head to the side but doesn’t move otherwise, “Yeah… maybe. That might be a good idea.”

“Okay, there’s plenty outside,” You tease as you sit on the bed, bouncing a little yourself. At least you’re still on the bed. Gator pushes himself up from the floor, shooting an unamused glare your way.

“Yeah, yeah. Look, it’s still inflated. Told you!” He’s a little too excited about this damn air mattress.

“Gator you definitely need to sleep,” You tug at his legs after he’s back on his feet. “C’mon, maybe if you lay down like a normal human being, you won’t get hurt again.”

Surprisingly, he’s got no marks on his face despite launching in the air and falling flat onto the floor.

Your arms loosely loop around his legs, trying to gently tug him onto the bed; his arms mirror yours, pulling your face closer to him. He’s not aware of where your face is, he’s too tired to think clearly. You, however, are very aware.

“Gator, if you want me to blow you, you could just ask.” You’re teasing him, but he lets go, laughing nervously.

“I- that wasn’t intentional, I swear.” He’s in a fit of sleepy laughter now, and it’s contagious, making you join in. “I was just huggin’ you back, I promise!”

“Uh-huh, sure.” You taunt as you move over, mocking Gator by slapping the mattress like he did moments ago. “Are you getting on this damn bed or not?” Gator narrows his gaze at you before sitting down slowly, as if it’s your fault he fell.

“What if I told you I hurt my dick when I fell?” Gator asks, trying to keep a straight face. His eyes are bloodshot, and the circles under his eyes are dark. “What then? Huh? Ice can’t fix that, y’know.”

You roll your eyes before swinging a pillow at him playfully. “Well, I ain’t no doctor. You’re shit outta luck.” Dramatically, he falls over on the bed, frowning while clutching his chest.

“I can’t believe you’d betray me like that.”

“Gator, what happened to watchin’ more movies?”

“An emergency happened! It’s not like you can really plan for those.”

You snicker, “Do I look like an ambulance?”

“No, but y’look like an angel that should be saving my life.”

Eyes rolling, you say, “Hey, Gator?”

He rolls over to get closer to you, head laying in your lap as your legs are criss-crossed. “Yeah?” He looks up at you, grinning like a sleepy idiot.

“Go. To. Sleep.”

His smile flips into a ridiculous frown. “Why? I like bein’ up with you.”

“Because I can tell just how exhausted you are by talking so sweet right now.” You gently move him off your lap before settling under the fluffy blankets piled around the two of you. Gator follows suit, grabbing your waist as soon as he’s under the covers.

“Surprised you ain’t takin’ advantage of that.”

“Listen, I’m not complaining, but you need sleep way more than anything right now.”

“M’fine! I probably could stay up ‘til sunrise.”

“Gator.”

“Fine, fine!” He glowers at you before shutting his eyes. “Fun sucker.”

He falls silent, and the only sounds around the two of you are the fireplace crackling, the wind continuing to brutally howl outside, and the soft breaths between the two of you. You watch Gator for a bit, and he seems to be relaxing, falling into a steady pattern of breaths.

That was fast.

As soon as your own eyes start to shut, though, Gator breaks the silence, groaning, “I can’t sleep like this.” You were so close to falling asleep; your eyes open, glaring at Gator.

Irritated, you still humor his thoughts; your brows knit together, confused, “Like what?” His hand clumsily grabs yours, leading it down to the length growing under his sweats. Your eyes are wide now; you’re definitely awake again.

“Like this,” His eyes flutter closed as he lazily bucks into your palm, making himself shudder a sigh out. “Please, baby.”

You’d be a liar if you tried to deny how attractive he is while he’s so needy.

“Again, you did it to yourself.” You’re trying not to automatically give in, but the way he looks so pathetic and cute at once is hard to ignore.

He ruts against your hand, whining when you don’t return the friction and pressure he craves. You pretend to start to fall back asleep, while Gator still searches for satisfaction from his actions against your palm.

“You’re terrible at faking bein’ asleep, darlin’.” He’s trying to sound composed, but his words just come out breathy and desperate, instead.

“And you’re terrible at going 24 hours without being as horny as a teenager.” You murmur, keeping your eyes shut. While he keeps moving, you can feel a damp spot forming on the fabric. It’s taking everything within you to ignore that, too. “Your dick’s gonna fall off if you don’t leave it alone.”

“If I wasn’t so tired, you’d be over my knee already for being a brat.”

“See, you admit it! You’re tired! Now, go the fuck to sleep.”

Gator doesn’t listen, pulling his sweats down and moving your hand so you can really feel him. “Can’t. Need you, darlin’,” is all he breathes out.

Pulling back, you sit up, leaning on your arm, watching disappointment cover Gator’s face. “You want to get off?” His face lights up immediately.

“Yeah, yes, I need it,” He’s palming himself now, growing more agitated the longer he goes without relief.

“Alright. Show me.” Gator’s confused, so you elaborate. “Show me how you get off.”

“Me? I have to do it?”

“You don’t have to, but you’re not getting off any other way.”

Gator’s mouth drops as he glares at you, insulted. “But I’m so tired.”

Shrugging, you lay back down. “Oh well, not my problem.”

“Well, actually, you stole the blankets from me, and that kept me up, so—“

“And?”

“You owe me.”

“I don’t owe you shit, Tillman.” You’re quick to respond. “You’ve got two options: show me how you touch yourself, or sleep. Your call.”

Gator huffs, frustrated, before pushing his sweats down his legs completely, kicking them off the side of the bed. “You’re the worst,” he grumbles, hand wrapping around his length; he’s a swollen, leaking mess. The tip of his cock is red with need as precum pulses out.

“You gonna be okay without a sock, baby?” You pout at him mockingly. “You might make a mess.”

His hand speeds up as he arches into his own touch. “Shut up about the fucking—“

You lean over him, spitting onto his cock and hand around it. He stops to watch you in awe before breaking his trance to spread the saliva over himself.

“That make it easier?” You continue mocking him. Gator grits his teeth, hand moving with ease against his skin. You grab his face, forcing him to look at you. “Answer me.”

Those two words seem to make Gator’s brain melt; they’re not special, but the tone you give him hits a weak spot somewhere within him.

“Y- yeah, it does.” He sighs as he continues jerking himself off. You move back a little before removing your own pants, touching yourself lazily in front of him. Gator throws his head back on the pillow, unable to take his eyes off of you. “We could be doing this together, y’know. Isn’t easier to just fuck instead?”

Your fingers slide up and down your slit, gathering arousal before pushing two fingers into yourself at once. You gasp at the sensation of stretching your own walls out. It’s not as good as Gator using his hands, mouth, or cock, but it’s enough for right now.

“You haven’t earned it yet.”

Gator’s eyes roll back in his head as he picks up the pace on himself. His back arches again, off of the bed as he whines. “Fucking fuck—“ his face is red, embarrassed that you’re making him work for his own release. “How the fuck do I earn it then?”

“Not sure.” You giggle, and he glares at you. “Guess we can figure it out along the way.”

His eyes dart back and forth between the hand between your legs, now toying with your clit, and the taunting smirk you’re shooting his way.

“Need you.”

“I know, you told me already.” Every time you mock, dismiss, or belittle him, his hips stutter, and his breath shudders, but he tries to hide it. “It’s okay, Gator, it’s hard to keep your thoughts together like this, isn’t it?”

Gator shakes his head, free hand reaching out for you. You pull back, but he’s faster, grabbing your leg, digging his nails into your skin. “No, I need you.”

“You already said that, babe.”

“Fuck— just fucking sit on my face. That’s what I need. Please?” He sounds so hot and bothered like this. “I owe you, you didn’t get off last time, darlin’.”

Your face heats up at his words, suddenly growing shy. “Won’t I- uh-“ You’re trying to find your words without embarrassing yourself, so you just shake your head ‘no’ instead.

“Why not?” Gator whines, grip still tight on you. Your own actions along your folds stop, and you pull your hand away from your core. Gator slows his own hand, noticing the way your mood shifts. “Hey, what’s up?”

“What if I hurt you?” You motion to your legs and hips, plush with curves and softness.

Gator sits up, letting his grip on himself go, focusing on you.

“You kiddin’? There’s no way you would.” Gator tries reassuring you, ignoring the way his cock twitches after he stopped stroking himself. “Plus, on the off chance you did hurt me, I’d think it’d be an honor to have my neck snapped by a pretty girl like you.”

You snort at his sentiment. “You’re definitely sleep deprived sayin’ some shit like that.”

He reaches out, hand cradling the side of your face; you instantly lean into his touch, tension leaving your body. “Sleep deprived or not, it’s true.”

Your face gravitates towards his as you giggle, “You’re corny.”

“And you’re a sucker for that.” Gator’s voice drops low while his thumb wanders to your lips, eyes quick to follow and linger, too. You nod, watching his expression as he toys with your bottom lip. “I’d still love to make ya’ feel good, if you’re comfortable with it, darlin’. But we can go to sleep if you’d rather that.”

“Oh now you want to sleep.” You tease, and it earns an eye roll from Gator. “If we do… you’ll promise to tell me if I hurt you, right? Like you can tell me to stop, I don’t want you to feel like—“

Gator cuts you off with a kiss; his lips languidly move against yours, coaxing your lips to part, letting him in with ease. His tongue melds with yours, earning a whimper from you; his reaction is a smirk and a breathy laugh into you before biting on your bottom lip, slowly pulling on it before releasing his hold on you.

“Use me to feel good, darlin’.” He whispers as your noses still touch, lips just centimeters apart. Your breath hitches in the back of your throat. “I promise you can finish this time.”

“Oh, how generous of you,” You deadpan, pushing his chest gently so he falls back onto the pillow. He reaches out to you, hands grabbing whatever he can touch. “Promise you’ll tell me to stop if you’re not okay?”

Gator nods intently, tired eyes wide with desire. You pause for a moment, hesitant.

Fuck it.

As you clamber up Gator’s body, he assists you faster by hooking his arms around your legs, pushing them from the back. You yelp at the sudden push, only making him smirk. You’re hovering above him, about to lower yourself, when concern for his pleasure hits you. “What about you, though?”

Ignoring your question, his arms move to hook under your thighs, hands finding your backside, kneading the soft swell of your ass. “Hey, darlin’?”

You’re dizzy from his touch. “Hm?”

“Shut up already.” He swiftly pulls you down to his mouth, and on contact you’re beginning to see stars. The noises that erupt from the two of you are obscene and loud; you’re immediately grateful there’s no neighbors around his house.

You’re frantically searching for something to hold onto; air mattresses don’t come with a bed frame, unfortunately. You look down at Gator, who’s already looking up at you, and the eye contact makes the knot in your lower tummy tighten with want. Your hands tangle into his hair, tugging softly.

“C’mon, you can pull harder than that.” Gator murmurs into your folds, deliberately taking his time tasting you. “You did a few days ago, remember?”

The morning you found his porn searches flashes in your mind, along with pinning him down to his bed after he caught you, pulling on his hair as you taunted him.

“Uh-huh,” you breathe, eyes fluttering shut. Your fingers weave and wind through his hair before tugging harder, earning a deep groan from him, vibrating into you from below.

“That’s it, darlin’.” He’s praising you in between sucking on your clit. “Just like that.”

Your hips start rolling, but you force yourself to stop, worried it’s too much for him. Gator notices, reminding you, “You don’t gotta to hold back. I can take it.”

Your thighs instinctively try to close, but you stop yourself from doing that, too. Gator pushes on your thighs, closing in towards his head anyway.

“You’ve got no idea how many times I dreamt about bein’ between these legs,” Gator softly nips at your clit, and you cry out, head falling back. “Got no idea how many times I wished it was you riding my face when it was someone else.”

“Gator…” You’re tensing up as you keen, pulling roughly on his hair now. He spanks you, earning a shaky yelp from your lips. “Th— you’ve— god.”

“No one’s tasted as sweet as you, baby.” He tongue fucks you, and you lose it, all concerns and doubts vanishing into thin air; you begin really riding his face, and he’s taking it with pride. “Can’t believe you’re this fucked out already.”

Your whole body is burning up; you hastily tear your shirt over your head and throw it aside, hand leaving his hair to start grabbing yourself. You barely begin groping yourself before Gator unhooks an arm to reach up and shove your hand away. You’re about to whine out, annoyed, but he immediately replaces your touch, teasing your body. “Let me do the work, darlin’.” His other hand follows suit, fingers tweaking and pinching your nipples, causing you to grind down on his face.

Gator alternates between his tongue, lips, and nose to keep the pleasure building within you. The combination as you continue riding him makes your legs begin to shake.

“You better not be cummin’ yet,” He warns as his tongue swirls around your clit, sucking it again while his strong hands continue to fondle your tits. “I just started playin’ with ya’.”

“Ye- yeah but what about you?”

“This is more than enough for me.” He quickly answers before delving back into your centre, tongue teasing your entrance again. One hand comes back down, but as he hooks it under your leg again, he lightly touches and circles your tight, puckered hole. You jump, not expecting the sensation, but you moan, thighs tightening around Gator’s head again. “Can I play with ya’ back here sometime, darlin’?”

You nod quickly as your hips work faster. Gator chuckles into your core while his fingers swipe through your folds briefly, collecting arousal to spread onto your tight ring, making his touch even more sinful.

“Gator, please…”

“Anyone ever eat ya’ here, too?” The filth of his words and casual tone make your eyes roll back into your head. “Need an answer, darlin’. Wanna learn everything about you, pretty girl.”

You can only think of one response, “I’m- I’m close,” You whimper, lightheaded from all the teasing and stimulation. “Gator— Gator, please, I—“

His arms move back to where they first started, hands on your body, guiding you along roughly on his face as your hips stutter their movements.

His tongue works in tandem with his mouth’s suction before murmuring, “Make it count, princess.”

The encouragement is enough to send you over the edge; you started this seeing stars, but now you’re surrounded by the entire fucking galaxy. Legs shaking, you’re involuntarily grinding harder onto Gator’s face. He doesn’t stop his meticulous actions, even when you nearly put him into a death grip with your thighs. Your head lolls back, mouth falling open in a silent cry before a moan fills the empty space. You’re screaming his name, followed by an incoherent chain of noises and babbling, mind melting from the intense pleasure.

“There ya’ go, darlin’.” His praise earns another wave of noises. You’re unable to tell until it hits you like lightning; another orgasm floods through you, causing you to squirt. You’re too engulfed in your second climax to realize how horrified you’d probably be, squirting on Gator, but he moans into you loudly, hips flexing up into the open air before his own legs shake wildly. Despite it all, he’s somehow able to continue praising you. “That’s it, such a good girl. My good girl.”

Your eyes cross, vision tunneling before everything goes dark. You don’t even hear yourself make the loudest cry you’ve made so far since being snowed in.

——

“Hey, c’mon, get up baby.”

Your head feels floaty, eyes softly opening while you try blinking away the blurriness. Everything comes into focus around you; you look up to see Gator gazing down at you, worried. You’re resting on the bed, head laying in his lap.

“Jesus, you scared me.” He runs a hand through your hair, pushing it out of your face. You’re a mess, soaked, sweaty, and finally coming to.

“Gator?”

“M’here, I got ya’.” Relief replaces his worried expression as you wake up more. “It was only a minute, but might’ve been the longest minute of my life.”

“Whaddya mean?” You slur, breath calm, slow and steady now. “Are you okay?”

“Me? Can you worry about yourself for once?” He’s lighthearted in his words, but he means it. “Are you okay?”

You’re silent for a moment, reaching up with tingling hands to rub your eyes. “I think I found God in that last orgasm.”

Gator can’t help the laugh that leaves his lips, despite trying to stifle it. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Uh-huh,” you breathe, continuing to become more aware of your surroundings.

Gator’s here. You’re on the air mattress. The one he insisted the two of you sleep on tonight. Everything’s okay. It just made you—

You look down, realizing how soaked you are. The pillow Gator laid on earlier and the surrounding area of the mattress are wet, too.

Fuck. Not again.

“This is so fucking embarrassing.” You grumble, sitting up fast, but your vision tilts, and Gator can tell you’re still dizzy.

“C’mere, give yourself a bit to get up.” He pulls you into his lap, but you squirm, even more embarrassed. “Darlin’, what’s goin’ on?”

“M’all gross, don’t let me sit on you—“ You stop, studying his face. To your horror, his face, not even just the bottom half, is damp, and you know exactly why. “Oh my god. I- fuck. I’m so sorry. Oh my god, this is so fuckin’ humiliating.”

Gator uses the back of his arm to wipe his face crudely, but he’s smiling. “Wish you’d stop apologizin’ for this, because it’s so fuckin’ hot.”

You cover your face with your hands, shaking your head. “Here I was worried I’d crush ya’, but instead I just— I can’t even say it.”

“Squirted?”

“Gator.”

“Why’s that so bad?” He’s sincerely asking, but his tongue swiping along his bottom lip isn’t making this easier to accept. “It felt good, yeah?”

Slowly, you nod, but you’re embarrassed to admit it. You look away from him, but your gaze lands on the damp spot on his sweats. You figure he put them back on after you passed out, but it takes a second to realize he came on himself, and didn’t clean up before checking on you.

Something about that, despite being gross, is really sweet.

“Gator, did you touch yourself?”

“Huh?” He looks down, blushing as he notices the spot, too. “Oh, uh, no. My hands were on you, baby. It just kinda happened watchin’ you cum again. Swear it’s not from watchin’ you pass out.”

You giggle, “I figured, since you didn’t even clean yourself. Fuckin’ A, Gator. We just cleaned up like two hours ago.”

He shrugs, still grinning. “I’ll grab somethin’ to clean ya’, wait here.”

“No way, I’m coming with you, and we’re sleeping upstairs. I’m not laying on this bed that I soaked half of.” You cringe at your last sentence.

“Alright, fair point. I’m gonna put the fire out, then we can head upstairs, okay?”

It’s only a minute or so before the fire’s extinguished, and Gator’s helping you up, guiding you safely to the stairs.

“Hey, darlin’?” He’s a few steps ahead, turning on the bathroom light and grabbing towels for the both of you.

“What’s up?”

“…. Can I use that face wash of yours?”

———

“Have you ever passed out before while you cum?”

Gator’s voice is raspy, exhausted, and he’s wrapped around you in his bed. You offered yours this time, but the two of you remembered he’s the one with blackout curtains, not you.

You quietly respond with just “No.” with your head ducked in towards his chest. The two of you are naked again, it’s just easier at this point. “M’sorry that happened.”

“What do I gotta do to convince you that ya’ got nothin’ to be sorry for?” He asks, kissing the top of your head. “Stuff happens out of our control, it’s okay.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to scare you like that. I think the combination of everything happening and being sleep deprived caused it— wait. Gator? Why the fuck are we still awake?”

“Because we’re both idiots.” He chuckles, eyes growing heavy. “Did you drink enough water? I can get ya’ some more.”

You shake your head, “No, thank you, though. I can’t get over how nice you are when you’re not being a total douche.”

“There were definitely nicer ways to word that, y’know.”

You ignore his quip, half asleep. “Thank you, Gator. Wouldn’t wanna be an idiot with anyone else other than you.” In seconds, you’re dozing off, falling into a steady breathing pattern in Gator’s arms.

As you fall asleep, you don’t hear Gator murmur, “Thank you for givin’ me another chance, darlin’.”

#gator tillman x reader #gator tillman x y/n #gator tillman x fem!reader #my fics #part time soulmate full time problem #gator tillman smut #sorry this took so long!! i was having issues with tumblr lol but who’s surprised

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nburkhardt · 10 months

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Anastasia AU. Bc I’m watching the movie right now :D

But Steve isn’t Anastasia. It’s Eddie.

Steve’s Dimitri.

The Munsons are cursed from Vecna.

A young Steve saves/helps the young prince and his uncle. But all get separated. The young prince is knocked out and taken in by an orphanage.

Years later, Eddie is finally kicked out and makes his way to figure out who he is. His only clues are the guitar pick locket and a promise to be in Paris.

Steve is determined to escape, resorting to cons. After hearing rumors of the youngest Munson still alive. He plans to hire someone who could pass.

After picking up a dog, Eddie tries for a ticket for Paris but can’t… after hearing about Steve, goes looking for him.

The auditions drags and no one is even close to being the missing prince. Steve gives up and makes new plans.

At the same time, Eddie follows by his dog into the building and eventually finds his way around until Steve finds him. Steve convinces Eddie that he could be the missing prince.

I’m gonna stop now before I just write out the whole movie out lol. Plus my edible is reallllly hitting now ANYWAY, I think this would be fun :)

UPDATE: @penny00dreadful wrote a fic based off this!!! here it is on here OR on ao3, here’s that link!

Especially because normally Steve is the prince. But I think Eddie would work toooo. Don’t ask me who is the others. I can’t figure it out :(

Idk if this counts for a fic? But I’ll still my Permanent tag everyone anyway 🩷

@spectrum-spectre @itsfreakingbats @mysticcrownshipper @artiststarme @thereindeerlady @justforthedead89 @ronniescontinuum @freyaforestafay @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @gregre369 @zerokrox-blog @bookworm0690 @flustratedcas @carlprocastinator1000 @marvelmwah @solliesolesito

#steddie #steddie au #Royal au #nburkhardt writes #Steve x eddie #Royal Eddie Munson #Steve Harrington #Eddie Munson #steve harrington x eddie munson #I’d include Robin and Chrissy somehow #maybe chrissy as Eddie’s cousin or Uncle Wayne’s assistant 🤷‍♀️#Robin could be Steve’s partner ???

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lacystar · 2 months

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Treating Wilbur as I do dream currently: Expect to see stuff for his character still reblogged, but I won’t tag for him anymore, and I’m disengaging with him as a content creator at this time. Don’t ask me anything else about this, I don’t want to talk about it.

Still probably gonna be offline for a while bc I’m still processing and need to not be barraged by opinions rn. Mostly posting this so I can run my queue. Staying on the content grindset 💪

At the advice of Shelby and her mods, I’m not going to speak his name like this again because he is not the point. Shelby is. But if I didn’t say anything I figured people would think I was ignoring it, which I’m not. I’m gonna continue my break and I hope you all are taking care.

As a final note:

This has brought a lot of attention to Shelby that she didn’t have before and for good reason. But please do not make her abuse into her fame. If this has compelled you to subscribe to her, follow her, and support her, then stay for her and not for her hurt. Watch her streams, engage with her. Be normal. Don’t ask her more, even if it’s from a place of good intention. She’s more than a victim: she is an artist and businesswoman just as much as every other streamer you love. She isn’t “the streamer who was abused by xyz,” she’s shubble. Let her return be welcome and supportive, but please let her get back into the routine she wants. Normalcy is probably the thing she wants most right now, and the best we can do is help her achieve that.

#finally: I have the right to change my opinion. that’s what humans do if they get new information #I’m worried I phrased some of this very poorly and I’m sorry in advance if I did #as always there’s not a nice way to just say everything in my mind in a neat little way #please trust that if I worded something bad I meant it with good intentions 😭#and please correct me but know I probably won’t see it for a while. being off tumblr is good and I want to keep that goodness going #alright. talk later ❤️#abuse tw #discourse #wilbur situation #long post

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frecklystars · 4 days

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Hi, I need some help if anyone has advice or something. Or even just a “that’s rough buddy”

Last night I had one of the worst breakdowns I’ve had in a long time bc I saw a commission of my abuser with stsc. She commissions artists just about every single day of herself with TF characters, so I always avoid the tumblr search tags. Even non-TF artists I feel wary of bc it doesn’t matter, if you’re an artist and your comms are open, she will buy from you and it’s always her self insert/OC. I never look up self shipping or transformers or anything like that in the tumblr search. I never interact with anything she’s a part of. But this time I was simply searching up something entirely unrelated in a browser, and she just - she showed up. She fucking showed up! All of this time I take to be so careful, to limit my tumblr experience drastically just to protect myself, and yet I still see her. I cannot believe how easy it is to find my abuser floating around online because she commissions people every single day. I wasn’t even on tumblr and I still managed to see her. It was just… Google images. No keywords that could have possibly led to me seeing that, but she showed up as one of the first results in the images and I just. had the worst reaction ever. Understandably

It was her pink OC, and very long story I won’t bother you with, my abuser’s pink OC is the reason why the color pink became a cptsd trigger for me in 2022, and I was really struggling with that shit when it was fresh. Obviously I got better with it because uh, I’m a Barbie blog now, but I still have my bad days with it and I’ve never been fully okay with pink. I never feel fully “safe” around it. Which sucks. But I was at the point where I could tolerate it. Well, until now 😭 ugh

Seeing my abuser was already a big shock, obviously horrible. Seeing my abuser be lovey and soft with stsc was also really horrible. But seeing the pink and immediately my brain saying “oh look it’s pink, that’s dangerous, but maybe it’s Barbie pi— ohhh nooo, that’s your abuser, she’s right there!!! That’s her!!! In the pink!!! I told you pink was a trigger!!! You’re in danger now you’re gonna die!!!” makes me feel like I’ve gone backwards in my healing process and I’m afraid that’s irreversible. I know healing isn’t linear and I know setbacks are normal, but this feels different. It was Barbie pink, like the hot magenta color you see on the album cover? I feel sick typing this jfc. My abuser is now associated with Barbie pink in my brain. I don’t know how to fix this. It used to be more of a milky pink that would bother me bc THAT is what her OC color used to be, but now apparently she’s? Barbie pink???? And a paranoid part of me believes she might have changed it on purpose just to fuck with me because she knows I see her commissions everywhere I go, because one of our last conversations we ever had was her saying she was fully aware how much her own s/i was a trigger for me. This is so much worse bc now every time I see Barbie Pink I’m not gonna think of Barbie! I’m thinking of the person who nearly fucking killed me multiple times!

I was doing soo much better with my pink trigger. I associated pink with how safe and loved Barbie and Ken make me feel. The hot magenta Barbie Pink made me feel the safest because that’s LITERALLY Barbie pink. I would still get tense seeing it but then I’d immediately say to myself “that’s Barbie pink. That’s Barbies color. Barbie would never let my abuser come near me, because she’s a girls girl, and she’s smart, she would not allow herself to be manipulated, she’d keep me safe” etc etc. and I would almost immediately be totally fine with looking at the color, my tense feeling would melt away most of the time. i was doing so much better but now it’s like this is ruining all of my progress. My abuser’s main color now is Barbie pink and I feel really sick.

I’m extremely shaken up over not just seeing my abuser again, in a commission no less (which she’d often use against me, so seeing TF commissions of any sort give me bad reactions, hence why I don’t even look at TF fanart whatsoever even if I wasn’t triggered by the actual franchise) but also seeing the very Thing that turned pink into a trigger in the first place. I feel very hopeless bc I miss stsc but seeing him be romantic in a commission with my abuser, on top of the trauma associated with him just in general because of said abuser, makes me feel so impossible to reach him. So not only do I feel hopeless and miss my starlight so fucking badly, as I do everyday, but now I feel worse with the color pink. I don’t want this to ruin Barbie for me. I don’t want to be scared of the very thing that was helping me heal this far.

I don’t know how to fix this. I’m hoping I will eventually bounce back from this major trigger of seeing my abuser AND tf together, like this was a triple hit on me, had three major triggers in one image — I’m just hoping I’ll… move on?? And then maybe pink will go back to being tolerable again? But I’m scared it won’t. I’m scared I really cannot heal no matter what I try to do

Anyway idk what kind of advice I’m even asking for, maybe reassurance that it’s gonna be ok. Or something 😔 literally anything helps I don’t care WHAT it is, if anyone can spare something nice in my inbox or the replies, I will super appreciate it

#vent #ptsd #ok so. actually I’ve queued this post and I’m not online rn . i am hopefully asleep #but when I wake up I will read and appreciate any messages 😭

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starrygetou · 6 months

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𝙡𝙖𝙯𝙮 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜

ship: satoru gojo x suguru geto

tags: fem!stsg, no curses au, established relationship, drabble, no beta read bc i’m different (if there’s typos, no there isn’t 🫶🏾)

pronouns used: satoru (she/her), suguru (they, she)

note: not much to say but, I LOVE STSG

MDNI PLEASE AND TY

======================================

the chilly december air was always a nice way to wake up for satoru. for one reason, she typically ran cooler so it meant suguru would definitely be cuddling her more often just to make sure satoru didn’t become a popsicle in the night. satoru also loved how crisp the air in their shared apartment was, almost welcoming her first breaths to ring in a new day. but if all the thing, she loved waking up to her beautiful wife in a tank top; nipples slightly poking through from the chilly air.

satoru always tried to be normal in the morning when this happened, but she’s only so strong. i mean, when your wife of seven years is as breathtaking as suguru is, you gotta just take a minute to take it all in.

suguru was currently laying on their back, one arm tucked underneath satoru’s head, their bicep used as a pillow, the other arm lightly holding satoru’s hand as it rests on her stomach. suguru always looked so peaceful when she slept. their long hair in two long dutch braids, a few messy strands hanging in the front, her lips slightly parted, head typically always looking towards satoru. god satoru wanted to kiss them so bad. waking up to this every morning was a blessing in it if itself that satoru promised to never take for granted, even before they officially started dating almost 7 years ago.

satoru scoots a bit closer to suguru, head now resting on her chest as they slept. their heartbeat sending a calming wave over satoru, nearly sending her back to sleep. but, satoru had another thing planned for this morning.

she cranes her head up a bit, gently pressing a kiss to suguru’s cheek, moving her hand that held her partner’s lower to the hem of their shirt. suguru stirred slightly, not fully awaking yet as satoru kept pressing kisses to her cheek, slowly making her way down to suguru’s neck and shoulder. after another minute or so, suguru finally starts to wake up, gently hugging satoru close to her with one arm as the other rubs her eyes.

“g’morning, lovey,” suguru says softly, not really ready to speak or get ready for the day ahead.

satoru smiles hearing their voice, moving her body so now that she lays on top of suguru. suguru moves one hand down satoru’s back, resting on the crook of her hip while her other hand gently holds satoru’s chin, both of them leaning in to share a soft peck on the lips.

“good morning baby,” satoru says smiling as she ticks some of her hair behind her ears, shifting her lower body a bit to give a soft grind against suguru’s pelvis.

“you slept well i assume.”

“i always sleep well when i know i’m gonna wake up to a sight like this,” satoru says as she moves her hands up suguru’s chest, stopping just below their tits.

suguru gives a soft smile and moves her other hand down to satoru‘s waist, both hands now migrating down a bit more to give satoru’s ass a gentle squeeze.

satoru leans in for another kiss and suguru accepts it, a little more hungry this time around. suguru helps grind satoru’s clothed pussy against her stomach while satoru gently rubs suguru’s pierced nipples over their tank top. suguru moans softly into the kiss before pulling away, a string of saliva connecting between their already puffy lips.

“do you wanna get the strap baby?” suguru asks as she licks her lips, still massaging the fat of satoru’s ass, fingertips staring to slide underneath satoru’s underwear.

“i wanna try something different today,” satoru says breathlessly, not realizing how quickly she’d get turned on. “you trust me right?”

“i’d trust you with my bonsai tree, and we both know how you are with plants.” suguru jokes before giving a small peck to the corner of satoru’s lips.

“okay. rude, first of all. second, it’s nothing bad,” she defends before climbing off suguru, sliding her panties off herself. suguru follows suit. once satoru is back in the bed, she gently opens up suguru’s legs, resting one of them on top of her hip and cages suguru’s other leg in as she scoots closer. suguru watches intently, both her arms resting behind her head.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #jjk geto #jjk gojo #gojo x geto #gojo satoru #satosugu #sugusato #jjk fic #jjk fanfic #yuri fic #fem!geto suguru #fem!gojo satoru #le$bean #WAP (women are pog)

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genshrineimpact · 2 years

Text

◇ characters ◇ zhongli, xiao, itto

◇ tags ◇ comfort, modern!au, not lovers, dub-con (-ish?) setting (not with the character)

◇ a/n ◇ fully self-indulgent definitely not bc i'm trying to cope haha no. remember to set your boundaries and be firm about giving consent out there, yall. also changing my format a bit bc this looks prettier don't mind me

'i want to be loved'

like many others, you try so hard to find the one - maybe a little too hard sometimes. you push down your fear of strangers and put up a smile upon meeting new people, register on all the dating apps you could get your hands on, and make an effort to keep in touch with others.

and yet failure seems hellbent on following you everywhere.

today is such a day. after pushing yourself to meet someone you just met on an obscure app, you return back home with disappointment and a heavy weight in your chest.

you can still feel their hands around you, far too close to your liking and on the areas that are bordering scandalous. though you've tried to set some boundaries, hand holdings turned into hugs (you can feel something press against your crotch but you shoved the thought into the back of your mind - it's just your imagination, right?), hugs turned into cuddling (you tried - really tried to fulfill his request to straddle him, but you just couldn't), and staring into each other's eyes (and the whole time your brain kept repeating how wrong and uncomfortable this felt, so you finally relented and pulled away).

somehow disgusted with yourself, you decided to step into the shower and stayed there for a whole thirty minutes, before finally heading off to your best friend's house, intent on venting about the disastrous date to hopefully get it off your mind.

zhongli lets you catch your breath after getting everything off your chest before serving the tea into your cup and his. with a practiced motion, he takes an elegant sip from the delicate glassware, prompting you to follow his motion. you inhale across the steaming cup, savoring the aroma before taking a small sip of the hot liquid, letting the taste spread across your tastebuds. it goes down smoothly and you give your friend across the table a thankful smile, upon realizing that he had served you one of your favorites.

"i do not agree with this person's courting methods either. such… intimate touches should preferably occur between lovers, in my opinion. i'm sorry that happened to you - but please know that it isn't your fault that the date went south."

"mmm," you lean back on your seat and sigh, "… you know, maybe i should just give up. meeting all these new people just sucks all of my energy and in the end, it's just going nowhere."

"if that is truly what you need at the moment, then i will fully support your decision."

there's a twinkle in zhongli's amber eyes, and you thought you had imagined it, but the next few words coming off his lips felt as if a meteor had just crashed on earth right in front of your eyes.

"forgive me for being pretentious, however - if you are open for just one more date, i would be more than delighted to show you how you deserve to be courted."

"what's he look like? i'm gonna give him a good punch for-"

"no, no, no one is punching anyone!" you laughed, "it just didn't work out. i tried to push my boundaries and it made me uncomfortable, so it's not anyone's fault…. well, maybe it's my fault."

"what, no! no no no no," itto looked downright scandalized, "listen, yeah? you tried something new and didn't like it, that's normal!"

"yeah… i guess……. thanks, itto. talking about it really helps," with a groan, you slump onto the surprisingly plush sofa of his abode, tucking your legs into yourself, "i think i should take a break from all these… dating stuff."

"y-you think? i mean yeah, totally, you should!!" you're unprepared for the sudden burst of excitement that itto is suddenly displaying, but the way his eyes are literally sparkling coupled with that bright grin makes you smile in tow, "so does this mean you're free this weekend?!"

"oh. yeah, i guess so."

just as the words leave your lips, you're hauled up into the air momentarily by your friend's strong arms before being enveloped into a bear-crushing hug, itto's happy voice ringing right by your ears, "aww yeah!! let's go visit that ramen stall nearby? we haven't gone there in sooo long!!"

you can't help but compare the hug you're currently in versus the one you were given this afternoon. they're both far too tight, teetering the point of suffocation, really, and yet…

… huh. for some reason, hugging itto didn't feel wrong….

"that's a stupid behavior on your part," xiao's voice is cold, and it's like he's doused you with ice-cold water, "what would you've done if he hadn't bothered to ask before putting his hands on you? you met with this guy just yesterday on the app, agreed to have him drive you to a secluded place you don't know, and you just let him-"

"i know i'm stupid! it's just-" you sigh, wrapping your arms around you and wilting under the cold glare, "-i just thought i'd be okay with it. o-or get comfortable enough to do it after some time…. i dunno…"

"…. you want to have a boyfriend that badly?"

you restrain the urge to nod feverishly and blurt out 'yes, and preferably you', and decide to settle with a meek 'yeah' instead.

"hmph. how stupid."

shoulders slumped, you mumble dissatisfactions under your breath, completely missing the way xiao gazing at you with a certain tenderness in his eyes.

"maybe you should look harder then."

"i am looking! you know i've been going to countless dates these past months!"

"i meant to say," he looked away pointedly, "you should look closer, or something."

thank archons for his hoodie and long side bangs - otherwise, you would've seen his completely red ears.

© genshrineimpact | 2022 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated - it's the least you could do as a reader on tumblr. remember, likes do nothing on this website! feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #zhongli #arataki itto #itto #xiao #zhongli x reader #itto x reader #xiao x reader #tw dubcon #rin writes

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sturniolo-2003 · 3 months

Text

18 - M.STURNIOLO

Warnings : Kissing, use of pet names, swearing, exhibition if you really squint

Summary : Your mum was shouting at you for being immature so you decide to annoy her by introducing her to your “boyfriend” who is the complete opposite of her ideal partner choice for you

Authors note : This is completely based off an edit I saw on TT bc I actually fell in love!! I’ll tag the edit <3

Link : https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeMhWRLX/

Pink is y/n

Blue is Matt

Purple is your mum

________________________________________

Me and Matt are classmates and we talk occasionally but we don’t really know each other

This morning, I walked into school with an annoyed face and plonked down onto my chair

Matt, who sat on the desk behind me, could sense my annoyance and decided to tap me on the shoulder

“Hey, are you alright?”

“Yeah I’m just pissed off.”

“Wanna tell me why?”

“Idk, why would you care?”

“Cause I’m bored and you’re angry. May as well, hey?”

“Oi!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.”

I laugh and he smiles at me, that cheeky grin on his lips that everyone is oh so used to

“So? What’s up?”

“My mum was having a right go at me this morning. I got up and I don’t even know what I did but she started shouting at me about how I’m not grown up or mature! I am… right?”

“Well I think so but clearly your mum doesn’t. Why was she yelling at you?”

“I don’t know.. I think it’s because me and my older brother were talking about how I want to start dating again and my mum doesn’t want me to have a boyfriend.”

“You’re 18, you can do what you want.”

“Tell my mum that.”

“But like.. does she not want you to ever date someone?”

“I don’t know.. at least not now. And she says that if I’m gonna date someone, he has to be smart, funny, kind, tidy, “normal”. Like what does that even mean?”

“Pft! She’d hate me ey?”

“Mhm… hold on!”

“I’m holding on.”

I give a little laugh before I continue talking

“Alright.. this might be crazy but what if… we fake date to piss her off?”

“Y/n? Really?”

“Yes really. Why not?”

“I don’t know… I just don’t think that that is the best way to prove to her that you’re responsible and grown up.”

“Yeah but… will you do it?”

“What’s in it for me?”

“You get to say that you’re dating me.”

“Fair enough…”

“Oh Matt, thank you!”

“You’re welcome. What do I have to do?”

“Just pretend to date me.”

“I can do that.”

He gives me a cheeky smile and a little wink before walking away.

[Timeskip]

The lesson is over and Matt walks up to me, smiling. He grabs my waist and pulls me in for a soft, warm kiss. I am startled but I go with it, melting into his body involuntarily

I pull away and look at him with confusion, my face bewildered

“What? I was practicing.”

I roll my eyes playfully and laugh out loud, my head falling to his chest as I laugh

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Well at least I’m ready now, ey?”

“Mhm.”

He grabs my waist again and pulls me into his arms, my head resting on his chest. I can’t help but feel like he isn’t “practicing” but he actually likes me… I mean, it wouldn’t be so bad if he did

I mean look at him, his eyes, his hair, his soft smile, his laugh, his hands, his tattoos, everything. I know I shouldn’t be liking this but I just can’t help it

“Y/n? You alright? Staring a little there, love.”

“Oh sorry.”

I give a little awkward giggle and he smiles at me, leaning down to kiss me again

“Okay Matt, I think you’re well rehearsed now. People are gonna start thinking that we’re actually dating.”

“And why would that be so bad?”

And with that, he winks at me and walks away. I am frozen still as what he says really sinks in

[Timeskip]

I wait outside the school, headphones in and listening to music while I wait for Matt to come out of English

As I have my head down, I feel his arms wrap around my waist and I giggle. He lets go and looks around at me, smiling

“Hello.”

“Hi, how’s your rehearsals going?”

“Well I haven’t seen you since first lesson so, not great.”

“Sorry, I was hanging out with Jess at lunch.”

“Oh yeah I know Jess! She’s nice.”

“And she’s pretty.”

“Meh.. she’s mid. You’re pretty.”

“There you go! Rehearsals are back on.”

“Who said I was rehearsing?”

“See, you did that earlier-“

I am mid sentence before Matt grabs my hand and starts walking off

“Okay.. we’ll continue talking later.”

Me and Matt walk hand in hand back to my house and when he reach my street, I roll up his sleeves to reveal his tattoos and I mess up his hair

“What are you doing?”

“You need to look like a real scruff. The whole point was to be the opposite of neat and tidy.”

He laughs and rolls his eyes playfully before grabbing my hand again, walking the rest of the way down my street

We reach my door and I open it, getting my mum’s attention before I let Matt walk in

“Mum, meet Matt.”

“Oh… Matt. Hello…”

She awkwardly shakes his hand before giving me a death glare, pulling her hand away from his aggressively

“And who is this, y/n?”

“This is my boyfriend.”

“What?”

“Mhm. Meet my boyfriend.”

“No. Just no.”

“Ouch.”

“Sorry baby, she’s being rude. Mum, be nice!”

“What have I told you about boys? Especially boys like him?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He’s not exactly… what I told you is he?”

“Why?”

“Tattoos? Hair?”

“Oi! What’s wrong with his hair?”

Me and my mum start getting into a heated argument about how Matt is actually a good guy and that she’s being rude

“Babe, come on. Let’s just go to your room.”

“Leave the door open!”

“No.”

I take Matt’s hand and lead him up the stairs, taking him to my room. We walk in and I close the door

He smiles at me and I give him a weak, defeated smile back. He grabs my waist and pulls me against his chest

“I’m sorry Matt.. this isn’t how this night was supposed to go.”

“It’s alright, darling.”

He grabs my face and pulls me into him, pressing his lips against mine. I let him kiss me because I need something to make me feel better

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer, wanting more of me. His tongue grazes my bottom lip, wanting entrance that I quickly grant

He slides his tongue in, letting it explore my mouth with a quiet moan. He taps my inner thigh, indicating for me to jump

I jump into his arms and wrap my legs around his waist, my arms linking around his neck

We continue to kiss until we loose our breath, eventually pulling away to look into each other’s eyes

“Matt I can’t do this…”

“Can’t do what, sweetheart?”

“Pretend like I don’t want more.”

“What do you mean…?”

“I don’t want to ‘fake date’… I want you to actually be my boyfriend.”

“Really..?”

“Yes really.”

“Alright then, let’s give it a go.”

“Can we actually?!”

“Yes… I’d love to go out with you actually.”

“For real?”

“For real, for real.”

“Oh Matt!”

I kiss his soft lips again, running my fingers through his silky hair

“My mum is gonna kill me.”

________________________________________

Taglist : @astrolynnworld @thetriplets3 @mattsneezing @mattybswife @sturngirls

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #christopher sturniolo

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ms-no1kpopstan · 28 days

Note

can I pls request a fic where reader is on her period and already in a bad mood so when sunghoon comes home from practice early saying his stomach hurts too & that he’s sick she thinks he’s just poking fun at her and doesn’t take him seriously but later on when they go to the convenience store together cus she needs to buy pads she realizes that he’s actually rlly unwell and feels bad and takes care of him.

Sure! Here it is!

Also, can I call u 🧡anonnie? Bcs u requested for enha… If u want another emoji, tell me!

(photo isn’t Mine!)

You groan as you shift uncomfortably in your spot on the couch. Your period had started early and it hurt so much worse than normal. Usually, you would be used to it, having periods for the past god knows how many years, but this time, it felt like you were being stabbed in multiple places, your abdomen, your legs and your head.

You were desperately waiting for your boyfriend sunghoon to get home from dance practice with the rest of the members so that he could go to the store with you.

The second you hear the door click open, you call out sunghoon’s name just to find him groaning in pain on his way in. He was clutching his stomach as he held on to the tv stand. You, now starting to think he’s mocking you and making fun of you, due to the fact that your abdomen felt like it was getting stabbed by the sharpest knife on the whole entire planet. Back to what you think is him mocking you, you let out a scoff and say, “well, you can stop making fun of the fact that im in pain right now, you know…”

“What? Baby, what makes you think that im mocking you, and that im actually not in pain right now?” Sunghoon replies, still clutching his stomach. “Well, I don’t know but from the way that you’re having a ‘stomach ache’ right now, when I just started my period today, is a bit suspicious to me.” you reply, irritated. thanks so much, dumb mood swings!

“Well, do you need me to get you anything from the store?”, Sunghoon asks, definitely worried about you. “Well, i was gonna go to the store and buy some pads so, if you want to join me, then come along.” you reply, just wanting your cramps to go away for once today. (at the store)

You walk down the snack aisle with Sunghoon next to you, or at least you thought he was next to you. You stop for a second and realise that he wasn’t next to you anymore. You look behind to see that he was standing a fee feet behind you and once again clutching his stomach.

‘Oh, maybe he wasn’t joking.’ You thought as you hurriedly walked up to him and asked him, “baby, what’s wrong? I’m so sorry that I thought you were making fun of me, it was very horrible of me to think that. But what happened?” “um, you didn’t let me tell you but I didn’t eat anything the entire day because of practice and I didn’t even realise that I hadn’t eaten at all, so I realised that I hadn’t only when my stomach started to hurt like hell.” he says, a bit slowly due to the fact that he was shutting his eyes in pain.

“Hoonie, baby, oh my gosh I feel so bad now. Come on, let me take you home and give you something to eat and a painkiller to stop your stomach ache, okay?” You say sweetly, much more different from your demeanour about a half hour ago.

You get him to lie down the second that you get home, giving him his food in bed, a bowl of rice and some kimchi. After he devoured his food, he slowly started to doze off, and you, noticing that, turn off the lights, and get him covered up in a blanket, before lying down next to him, getting into his blanket and letting him fall into your embrace…

TAGS; @leaderwonim @mandukkul @copyhanni @nikiswifereal27 @stariikis @ad0rechuu @copyhanni @jungkit @rk1stars @rikihqq @wonryllis @angel1kisses @nishions @rikizm @stariekis

#kpop #enhypen #requests #🧡annonie #enha #psh #park sunghoon #sunghoon #sunghoon x reader #fluff #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon enhypen #enha is my no one bg

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oraclebabsday · 4 months

Note

um hello!! im very new to comics, but of the characters I’ve seen so far, I really like Barbara and I was just wondering if you had any comic recommendations on where to start..? its very confusing trying to get into it all, but I’d like to be able to hold a conversation about someone I find interesting with my boyfriend so I can hear him info dump on me more cus he’s deep into dc so :)

Hi!!! That is so sweet omg 😭 Welcome to the weird wonderful world of comics!!! and also i’m so sorry for what I’m abt to throw at you lmao

Since you’ve sent this ask into an Oracle-centric blog, I’m gonna keep this rec list Oracle!Babs-centric (& also encourage my fellow mods to add on if they also have some recs!) I actually don’t have a whole lot of recs for Batgirl!Babs anyways, but I’ll be tagging my gen dc blog at the end in case you’d like to talk abt those or any other characters!

Also before I get Into the recs, I wanna give you some words of encouragement: there’s no right or wrong way to read! You’re also likely gonna have some well a lot of confusion at the beginning, esp bc there will be Events™️ that have ramifications™️ and you’re not always given full context of what’s come before or what’s happening concurrently with what you’re reading. I’ve been doing this for awhile and if I’ve learned anything, it’s that the more that you read & explore, the more fun you’ll have & the more things will usually start to make sense! But it’s all gotta start somewhere first! :D and you’ve def chosen a great character to be your launching point!

Im gonna be hopping around a bit in my recs here but I’ll try to keep it mostly in chronological order. That said, first up:

Suicide Squad (1987) - she appeared semi-regularly starting in #23! This was also her debut as Oracle! I really enjoyed the overall run & would normally highly recommend it, but also want to warn that it’s a pretty heavy read in terms of content itself (canon-typical violence ofc esp for a SuiSq comic, discussions of suicide ideation, period typical stereotyping/‘subversion’ of said stereotypes, but that’s a deeper discussion for a different blog) For that reason, I don’t necessarily recommend it for a first-time reader, esp if you’re wanting to solely focus on Babs. Team books usually aren’t super great when you’re reading for an individual character, in my experience, esp in a case like this where the character isn’t always necessarily part of the team or appears sporadically enough to disrupt the flow of following a storyline.

Birds of Prey (1999) - This team book breaks that prev rule tho, bc Babs is the leader & is in Damn near every issue of this run 😂 There’s several smaller team-ups before the main ‘99 run (BoP:Manhunt, BoP:Wolves, etc), which are also good as a prelude before the main run itself. This will be the longest thing that will give you a LOT to parse through & ymmv with a lot of it. (Dixon & Simone are the most prominent writers for it & without getting Into It they each have their Issues™️ & Crimes™️) It also crosses over with a few events/references others. Imo it’s a good window into what comics are like overall, esp when you get into a longer run with multiple writers at the helm. But it has an added bonus of keeping a pretty small cast at its forefront (for about half the run, it’s solely Babs n Dinah!) It also has a follow-up run in 2010 which is broken up by-

Oracle: The Cure - (technically a 3-issue mini-series but!!!) this one’s a culmination of Oracle & Calculator’s (it’s not rivalry? That can’t be the right word… Uhhh, nemesis-sitch?) from BoP & leads right into bringing Babs back to Gotham in Steph’s Batgirl run as well as the next BoP run I mentioned just a sec ago. It’s what I like to call connective (t)issues lol. Ymmv I think depending on if you’ve read BoP ‘99/TT ‘03 beforehand, but I hadn’t read a lot of TT before reading it at the time, and I enjoyed it a lot!

A couple individual issues I wanna suggest:

Batman Chronicles #5 - Oracle: Year One!!!!! Cannot rec this one enough!!! In lieu of reading Killing Joke (which really only serves Bruce, Joker, Jim Gordon’s characters) read this!!! LICHERALLY her origin in coming into her own as Oracle!!! This one is THE place to start, actually, before you read anything start here 😂

Batman: Gotham Knights #6 - okay, this one is admittedly a self-indulgent rec. Without spoiling the plot, it’s CLASSIC soap-opera level shit. The TENSION at play & the layers of Bruce & Babs dynamic, the messiness of the batfam!!! 👌 *chefs kiss* GK as a run in general too was a LOT of fun for me & Babs is a pretty prominent player in much of it, but this issue rlly takes the cake for me ngl

And to tie it all together for an extra couple of Important Event recs that you’ll run into esp if you pick up BoP first:

Batman: No Man’s Land - okay, this event was a Behemoth. It’s a LOT to read, but it is REALLY good imo as a launching point for where Bat-comics were at the start of the millennium. Babs takes the narrative role SO many times throughout & she rlly comes into her own by becoming a linchpin for the info system she builds for the batfam. Again, I don’t wanna discourage you when I say it’s a Long read, bc it’s well worth it imo, but also 100% okay to skip when you’re just starting out! It’s a big time sink!

Batman: Officer Down - okay put away the meme forJUST A SEC, our old friend Jim Gordon’s been shot & it’s up to Batma- oh wait bruce sulks by Jim’s bedside while Babs rallies the troops and GETS SHIT DONE to find who shot her dad? INTERESTING 🧐 In all seriousness tho, & compared to NML, this is a much easier bite-sized event that can give you a taste of what Event/crossoverComics™️ are generally like 👍

Bruce Wayne: Murderer?/Fugitive - okay so, take that same energy of the batfam having to Put In The Work to help Bruce out & flip it around bc now Bruce is the Main Suspect. The drama, the Intrigue™️. Pretty much everyone in the fam gets a moment to shine & this is def peak of how Babs fits into the fam during this era. This one runs a bit on the longer side & babs is again, more of a support role here, but god damn I loved it a lot!

I feel like I’m obligated to at least Mention Batman: War Games, mostly to note that it finally shakes the foundation of Oracle being the batfam’s main support (her CLOCKTOWER gets nerfed in this event 😭) If you read all of BoP and skip over this event & then are confused abt why Babs is suddenly being ejected from Gotham, just remember that her clocktower gets blown up, Steph dies, Bruce n Babs have a falling out & that’s basically why Babs starts flying around the country & settles in Metropolis for a bit instead of going back to Gotham. I reread this event at least once a year bc it gave me brainworms, I can not in good conscience recommend it to anyone bc no one understands her (War Games) like i do 💕 Godspeed if you decide to read it o7

Other recs/mentions:

Batgirl (2000) - okay if you end up reading NML, you’ll be introduced to Cass in it, & this run picks up with her. Babs is in it a LOT at the beginning as supporting cast to Cass (up to War Games ofc, but I won’t say much more abt that lol) I’m ngl, when I was trying to get more into comics, this run was what HOOKED me

Batgirl (2009) - so in a similar vein, Babs also features as a support for Steph too in her batgirl run. It’s… different from Cass’ run, but I also rlly love this one too. And also am forever bitter that the Batgirls run didn’t realize their potential BUT WE’RE NOT GETTING INTO THAT HERE.

Gonna mention Batman: Gotham Knights one more time bc again, while Babs isn’t a main focus, I think it’s rlly good at tying the batfam together during that era & giving a reader glimpses into other characters/dynamics. I think I got more out of it after I had read a few other runs from this time period (namely Robin, Azrael & some prominent stuff with Huntress), but can also see it as a potential launching point for new readers too 👍 if you wanna get more into the batfam/Batman but are intimidated by the Big Runs, this can potentially be a good bridge!

Gonna rapid fire mention that Babs as Oracle has a lot of appearances in Robin (93), Nightwing (96), JLA (96), Azrael (95) and obvsly Batman/Detective Comics from the 90s into 00s. I’ve read a few of these runs, and ymmv depending on how attached you may get to certain characters. But that’s what comics is all about! Getting attached and exploring other characters n teams n stuff!

A Gen note that I wanna end on: I wasn’t exaggerating when I said earlier abt how the more you read the more you’ll have fun. I can’t even begin to count the number of times that I’ve read something from a 90s/00s comic & was essentially jumpscared by a sudden Oracle cameo that I wasn’t expecting! She pops up in so many things throughout the universe at the time!!! She was THE info broker for all the supers!!! It makes me so insane that DC threw that all away to magi-cure her and demote her back to batgirl when she had grown so much 😭

anyways I hope you have fun!!! And again if you’re ever looking for other recs my more Gen dc blog is @dyketectivecomics! If my fellow mods or anyone else have some recs to add or to dispute haha, I’ll be tagging this so others can see/rb/reply to add their recs too 👍

Okay! \o/ that’s all I got for now! Happy reading anon!!!!

#barbara gordon #oracle #oracle day #birds of prey #reading rec #~randy #added a cut bc length 👍 and to add a warning that this isn’t just a list #I wanted to include some commentary bc having a reading list is good sometimes #but also having a Guide™️ is what I’m ultimately aiming for when I’m curating my lists now in 2024 #esp bc I’m gonna be revamping the duke list soon but THATS a convo for the duke blog 😂#okay enough tag rambles. I hope this helps anon! sorry it took a Hot Sec!#you sent this right as the holidays were swinging at me full force 😭

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luminnara · 2 years

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I read through the addams!reader tag and I love it so much!! It made me happy stimm.

I was thinking of if max came over for a visit and maybe the party comes along to bc the reader met some of them before they left with Billy. I think it would be fun to see all their reactions the the family!

Okay so I’m imagining that Max has met at least reader before you and Billy took off, so she’s got an idea of how all of this might go down even if she hasn’t been to the house yet. She’s a lot more prepared and therefore way less shocked than the rest of the party, and whenever they totally freak out about something, she just acts all cool and tough and rolls her eyes like “YEAH it’s a disembodied HAND it’s not THAT cool” even though she totally thinks Thing is super cool lol

The whole Addams family would be looking at the party like oh…they look very…like they wear khaki pants 😬 like you know the “but Debbie…pastels?” Line from Values? That, but it’s like “but Michael…a Hawaiian shirt? With those shorts?” But they’re not gonna say anything. They just think they have unfortunate fashion senses.

Morticia is definitely more perceptive than Gomez, and she would totally clock that something is bothering Will. Whether it’s gay panic or upside down related or both, she would get him to talk about it. They would all be so fascinated by the concept of the upside down and just want to vacation there IMMEDIATELY

They would also have so much fun with El’s powers. I don’t think they would be shocked, they would just think they’re super fun—besides, there’s probably someone in the extended family with some sort of telekinesis, so they’re not all that surprised. The party would be taken aback by how chill they are, because they would be trying to hide all the whacky shit they’ve got going on while they Addamses are like “lmaoooooooooo let’s go dig up our dead relatives for fuuuuuuuuuunnn”

The party would also be absolutely flabbergasted by a healthier, more well adjusted Billy. Even if Max ever told them about what Neil used to be like with him, I feel like they would still hold a lot of resentment towards him because they all view him as Max’s shitty stepbrother who beat the hell out of Steve. When he walks in, all nicely dressed because he can DO that now without Neil calling him a pussy, with a glass of expensive wine instead of a can of cheap beer, they almost don’t believe it’s him…and they find that he’s WAY more relaxed and easier to talk to, because he isn’t on edge and upset all the time. So somehow, Billy acting so normal is strange, and that makes him fit in with this entire strange house and this strange family that keeps trying to feed them strange things

Wednesday and Pugsley would be more the Party’s age, so they’d be hanging out. They’d have some things in common, and I feel like they would play a very wild D&D oneshot in which Wednesday ends up with a super overpowered character somehow who destroys the entire campaign lol

#billy hargrove x addams!reader #Addams!reader

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courfeyracs-swordcane · 11 months

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Teddy... after being mutuals w you for who knows how long I NEED to ask... what does robobs mean? I've been paying attention to the tags on my notifs for a bit and I think that's the one thing I still have no clue about ahdkshfjshfjd

OH BOY! You’ve activated my trap card!

Short version: tag for me and the gang ( @nosongunsung11 @coyotefang1987 @wildfandom @lemonade-comet @dogliker73 )’s transformers ocs. When I first made the spreadsheet I titled it ‘Robobs’ and it stuck. In March we made a 120 slide power point explaining the lore and we’ve made like 20 new guys since then

LONG VERSION: (and I’m only getting into blorbos from MY brain bc there’s like 85 of these mfers collectively)(Guys who come in several separate-but-linked subsets)

(edit: now with images! picrews linked here, here, here, and here and art by @orange-artist/@nosongunsung11)

THE OGS:

Packet and Pinch: (turn into biplanes) little guys who came after the war, them and their dad sometimes moonlight on a research vessel called Forte Spes where theoretically they’re archival assistants but mostly what that means is that Pinch holds the microphone during interviews because when Packet was allowed to do that he kept eating it. When they’re a little older Pinch gets a proper job on Forte Spes helping out and Packet joins the mafia/eventually winds up inheriting an organized crime unit and accidentally taking over a small city (think like JVJ’s Madeleine era except not on purpose)

Hot Shot: (turns into a diy dragrace car) himbo. former Autobot soldier turned drifter (technically looking for one of his war buddies who disappeared but he keeps getting sidetracked) turned preschool teaching assistant on the moon. Frontman of a very small emo band. Meter’s twin brother, Aileron’s best friend, (Sweets isn’t mine, but) Sweets’s self-invited roommate (weird gay thing)

Meter: (used to turn into a regular car, now functions as a speedometer)(also his name is actually Gauge, Aileron just started calling him Metermaid to make fun of him and it stuck) wildly normal little guy for being so fucked up. Got his face and hands and altmode taken by the government for being an anarchist in cop college. Spent the war on the world’s most legally questionable enemies to lovers roadtrip looking for his brother. Hot Shot’s twin, Aileron’s husband.

Aileron: (turns into a massive fucking jet) pointedly neutral freelance journalist. Extremely chill and wildly pessimistic. Can and will befriend anyone with an unfortunate heaping side of terminal Everyone He Really Cares About Keeps Fucking Disappearing Into Thin Air disease. Spent the road-trip causing problems on purpose bc it was funny and also bc he was pretty sure Hot Shot was dead and he didn’t know how to tell Meter so he was stalling. Meter’s husband, Hot Shot’s best friend.

THE ANCIENTS:

Catalyzer (Cat): (left)(turns into a shield except no he doesn’t anymore because he has daddy issues) fucked up old knight. Kind of a dick except with his knight partner and her spouse (the three of them come as a set do not separate <3) and with his little sister (150ft tall). Memory issues wildly exacerbated by the fact that he spent ten million years on the euthanasia planet. There’s a very good au in which he co-parents his nephew w his ex’s ex-wife.

Firefight (FF): (turns into a flamethrower except no he doesn’t bc what if he fucks up his paint) Bitchass little twink. Catalyzer’s shitty ex who lobotomized him. The god of transformation’s special little boy and he’s gonna make it everyone’s problem. After the god war (during which he helped work on a large-scale lobotomy project that made everyone forget the gods) he realized that if there’s not gods to hang around he can’t get special treatment for being god’s special little boy anymore so he fucked off to live in a cave for ten million years and only came out for Cat’s little sister’s funeral bc he figured everyone who would have known him would be dead by now except spoiler alert no they’re not and he immediately gets his ass beat. We don’t have time to get into his wife.

Moonshadow (Shades): (turns into a shuttle)(uses that to cause problems) Catalyzer’s nephew (she/her), troublemaking Weird Little Art Girl TM who’s constantly tagging along on any mission she can get herself into. Unfortunately that includes the mission that lands everyone on the euthanasia planet :(

Equalizer (EQ): (turns into. Maybe a grenade. I haven’t decided yet) Firefight’s ‘apprentice’/weird intense son he didn’t ask for and doesn’t want and also is lowkey terrified of. Functions entirely on looney toons logic. Theoretically xey’re supposed to be helping FF w his lobotomies but he’s scared xey’ll be better than him and take his job so mostly xyr job is knocking people out with the blunt end of xyr Massive Fucking Scythe for their nonconsensual government-assigned brain surgeries and being generally unsettling. Spends FF cave arc waiting outside where he told xem to which xey're not fucked up about but it does make xem very much more fucked up.

Legion: (turns into I don’t know yet probably an anvil or a lever): Little knight guy under the god of wisdom. Dumb as a box of rocks. Trying so fuxking hard all the time and not really getting anywhere with it but that’s okay. Loves his friends so goddamn much. Really fuckin stupid for a guy who kind of functions as the voice of reason in the polycule. Died on the euthanasia planet. :(

Endymion: (turns into a unicorn)(but like the goat kind) goldenboy blacksmith, built to help the main god make guys, conscientious objector to the god war so now he helps out in the armory. Haunted as hell (just kind of vibing with it). Missed the mission that landed everyone on the euthanasia planet and got locked out of the armory :(

DECEPTICON HR OFFICE/EXTENDED CONSTRUCTION UNIT:

Zephyr aka Dreadnought: (used to turn into a flashdrive, tried to do some sketchy ass back alley surgery to turn into something better and fucked it up so now he can’t turn into anything) edgy little goth twink lying wildly about almost everything abt himself. Former spy, current guy who sits in the corner of the office chainsmoking and giving off absolutely rancid vibes. He’s writing a memoir. (it’s bad.) Gets Fixed by the power of Carburetor going “wow, do you have any other slogans from like. Hot topic?” and is really confusingly normal at the postwar HR reunion/Hadron and his boyfriend’s impromptu wedding

Carburetor (CB): (used to turn into a pickup truck, got exploded) readymade soldier who wound up taking over as mostly-untrained medic when the actual medic was killed bc he had spent a lot of time in the medbay recently (due to the getting exploded incident) and kind of osmosed hopefully enough to go off of. Takes no shit but has terminal “I Can Fix Him” Disease (both romantically and medically) but really he’s the one getting fixed—he has a hobby now! 😊 (it’s Zephyr)

Hadron: (serial number ending in 0104)(turns into a crane) starry-eyed little science guy with a secondhand soul. Part of the construction unit and also working part time (illegally) in HR. Defected to the Autobots towards the end of the war and is now doing a goddamn lot of finding out for very little fucking around. Very easy to manipulate. Both has a missing boyfriend and is the missing boyfriend. Main character disease (affectionate but oh dear god at what cost)

Reefer: (0100)(take a wild guess) de-facto leader/union rep of the construction unit by virtue of being built first. Doing his goddamn best but he’s fundamentally just a sillyguy. Also has a secondhand soul but he doesn’t know about it. Would do anything for his little guys. Sneaks Hadron his science magazines. Hazard’s qpp, Hadron’s bestie, other side of Rico’s coin. Died during the great latewar Construction Unit Defection.

Hazard: (0101)(turns into a dump truck) absolutely fuckin massive very nice and kind SIC & emotional support of the construction unit. Also has a secondhand soul but it’s never really relevant. Guy who’s usually the one to talk to outsiders for the gang. Has never held a gun but almost got sent to the front lines of the war bc they’re Fucking Huge and hella shit was pulled to Stop That Happening (without them even knowing in the first place). Reefer’s qpp, Dyker (0102) isn’t mine and there’s a lot of lore but Dyker is their best friend (I think?). Dead. (Meter pushed them off one of the spires of Decepticon HQ bc they asked if he was okay and were a little too concerned)

Ricochet (Rico): (0103)(turns into a backhoe) oh she’s so fucked up. She’s so fucked up. Also has a secondhand soul and she’s not really aware of that but she’s not normal about it either. Hadron’s older sister figure (derogatory), other side of Reefer’s coin (Threefer), imprinted hard on Dyker and took the Shit That Got Pulled really REALLY badly. Blames Hadron for Reefer’s death to avoid blaming herself. Was briefly a neutral medic but went back to the Decepticons real quick and took the ending of the war also incredibly badly. (And by incredibly badly I mean she got a group to try and restart the war and recruited a bunch of guys to try and replace her family and it’s Not Working)

Chainlink: (turns into a tank)(attempt at replacing Hazard) Rico’s Fucking Massive SIC/de-facto bodyguard who’s really not jazzed about following someone else’s orders. Does it anyway out of… respect that she got there first (or something.) but makes it very very clear that Ze Would Kill Her (in a weird gay way) If Ze Got the Chance. (Ze is in fact given the chance and Doesn’t Take It. Neither of them are really sure how to cope with that). Died one time during the war but got better and is kind of an asshole about that. Mean sense of humor.

Sprocket: (turns into a handheld cannon)(Hadron but Rico likes him) literally just a little guy. Built on Earth approximately three days before the war ended and doesn’t actually know what that means for anything. Definitely getting a little bit gaslighted here. Finds out abt that and is so betrayed/hurt/doesn’t know what else to do that he turns them all in and fucks off to actually see the universe and the planet outside the war and also go to robot law school. Does tech/support/recon for the squad’s endeavors and missions from a secret third location

Roughhouse: (turns into a lifted ass Ford F150)(Reefer 2 smarter boogaloo) Sprocket’s bestie and everyone’s emotional support himbo and by emotional support himbo I mean this guy is treating this revolution like a kindergarten teacher. Guy who 100% tried to set up a sticker system to try and get Rico and Chainlink to be normal. He’s not even that invested in it he just thinks it’s funny to get Rico overly invested in things she’s Going to lose. Yes she’s his boss technically yes she forgets that sometimes (younger sister instinct). The fanciest and only prewar member of the gang. Former bouncer, early Decepticon recruit, current pacifist and backup guy.

THE SECRET OTHER OPTION:

Rudder: of Rudder and Oar fame. They don’t give a shit they’re just out there fishing. A lot of the time they wind up picking up body parts/people but that’s not what they’re fishing for so they just toss them in the back to sell to the mafia. Together they turn into a bigger boat.

#FINALLY #hello sorry this took so long it’s like 1.7k words #robobs

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