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#I was never really expecting to date again so this isn’t something I’ve thought a lot about
sbc-moved · 2 months
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Hmmnbmmmmmm. I have some things to say
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tojisun · 6 months
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im giggling thinkin about biker!simon finding out you haven’t ever ridden a bike before and so the first thing he does is tell you to stay put before hopping on his harley and driving away.
you stand there, blinking, still reeling over what happened. you’re quite confused if your date really just left you, before giving up on worrying as you hold onto the hopes that he’d come back. he did say he will but how many of your dates and ex-partners fooled you because, apparently, you’re too “gullible” and it’s just too “funny”?
too fucking many times, that’s what.
you amble towards an empty bench while you wait, fluffing up your skirt and dusting your sweater before fixing your hair. you itch to message your friends, anxious thoughts buzzing underneath your veins, but simon had always been such a gentleman with you. always so caring and pampering. always so honest with his affections. he isn’t like anyone you’ve ever been and so you want to trust him.
and you do. god, you do. because you trust him with your safety. with your heart.
time crawls by but the agonizing drag does end. you didn’t have to wait long, you realize with a giddy heart, as you see simon driving back. his head whips around the park, trying to find you, and you giggle as you stand up, waving your hand above your head to catch his attention.
his helmeted head snaps towards your direction and you smile as the purr of his engine becomes louder, his bike devouring the space between the two of you eagerly.
“hey, sweetheart,” he says as he snaps his visor up, his beautiful eyes crinkled as he smiles at you.
the butterflies in your stomach roar, and you almost choke on the intensity of your happiness as you whisper back, “hey there, big guy.”
simon preens like he loves the nickname and you sear his reaction to your memory, already anticipating the next opportunity where you get to call him that again.
“i‘ve got somethin’ for you,” simon announces before twisting towards the other side of his harley, reaching for something that you couldn’t see. you tilt your head, trying to act cool as you wait.
simon turns back to you with a shy smile tickling his lips, and your eyes instantly flicks towards his hands where he cradled a cute little purple helmet – one of the many things you didn’t expect him to return with.
“is that a bicycle helmet?” you blurt out.
“yeah,” he laughs, a pretty sound. “this is all they have.”
“‘they’?” you finally move close to him as you ask this, taking tentative steps on the gravel.
“the closest bike rental,” simon replies, sounding embarrassed. “you said y’ve never been on a bike and, well, this is a safe environment so i thought, ‘why not?’”
you breathe in sharply, his words curling along the crevices of your heart. “lemme get this straight,” you begin, swallowing the lump in your throat. “you heard me say i’ve never been on a bike before so your first reaction was to drive away to find a closest bike rental so you can get me a helmet because you want to give me a safe bike ride?”
“…yeah,” he whispers, hesitant. “i mean, if you don’t want to then that’s oka- are you crying?”
“shut up,” you whimper, hiding your face behind your palms.
you hear him curse, the engine of his bike shutting off, before hearing the way his feet drop on the gravel and march towards you. in a heartbeat, you are pulled in his embrace, with your face pressed on his chest, and you eagerly breathe in the scent of leather and ozone that is stuck on him. he pats your head softly, his palm dragging along your hair as he continues to comfort you.
you sniffle, unable to stop the tears because what the actual fuck.
you have never felt so loved. so adored. so revered.
you chew on your confession, your heart and mind syncing up for once. simon, i-
(later, when you’ve finally calmed down, you will let out a wet giggle and apologize for dampening the mood. simon will just smile at your adorable, tear-swollen face and tell you that you have nothing to apologize for. then, he’ll kiss your forehead before securing your helmet on your head. he’ll tighten the strap around your chin, gently knock on the shell, then pull you onto his bike. you two will spend the rest of the afternoon just making slow and gentle donuts around the park, laughing and chatting.
and then, gritting through the choking staccato of your heartbeat, you will tell simon that you want more than a flurry of dates. that you want something more official. then, you will tell him you love him and simon will buckle before you because,
“me too, sweet girl. i’m so in love with you too.”)
-
(ext.01) (ext.02) (ext.03)
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pedge-page · 5 months
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Insatiable
Part 3/Finale to Cravings and Crash
Frankie Morales x F!Reader
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Summary: Frankie and reader spend some time apart before realizing that’s actually really stupid—and solid communication happens for once :) 
Notes: it’s finally HERE! Thank you all so much again for your words of praise and keeping with these two absolute idiots in love. Honestly intended the first one to just be a one-off drabble throw away thought, but I’m glad everyone enjoyed it so much to ask for more! I’m spitting this out earlier than expected. Don’t know if I’ve done them reasonable justice but this is what I’ve got—hope you like it!
Warnings: unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, creampies, mentions of m oral, pussy eating king returns, cum eating, missionary, doggy, cowgirl, overstimulation, fingering, squirting, bit of possessive and jealous Frankie, mentions of drug use, drugs present, language
18+ ONLY
- - - - 
You had cried when you got in your car. And again when you went to your cousin’s house to crash until you signed your new lease. And then again every night for a week straight.
You had NEVER cried this hard over a boy before.
Except this wasn't some boy—this was Frankie. The guy who comforted you through all your dates that stood you up, and shitty boyfriends, albeit few, that left you feeling less than worthwhile. The same Frankie who stood around you like a guard dog when you went drinking together so no one would even think to slip something in your cup, but who YOU have to comfort during horror movies because he's a big scared kitten. Who lets you sleep on his shoulder for five hours in the car no matter how uncomfortable it was for him, never once moving, but still ate the food you didn't like off your plate "because he's a garbage dump who'd eat anything, even mold." 
The first guy to tell you that you were beautiful when you weren't even trying to impress him. Who brings a hair tie with him when you go to eat because you always forget yours and get your hair caught in your fork. Who pushed you to take charge of your life and break up with your loser first love, and it was the hardest and best decision you could have ever made.
And you know what? The ONLY guy who made you cum 9 fucking times the FIRST time he went down on you.
You called Santi that night because you needed to let loose, and the only other person you trusted to hold you up outside of Frankie was Pope.
“So how is he?” Santi asked, as you immediately double fisted your first two shots. 
"I don't wanna talk about him tonight."
Santi nods, eyes widening as you don’t even resist the bitter taste going down your throat. He holds his finger up towards the waitress to order 4 more glasses.
You really didn't want to think about Frankie. The more you thought about him, the more confused you felt, and you couldn't afford to be confused about your purpose in his life right now. You knew battling addiction isn’t a linear healing process. That it would get worse before it got better at times. You're his friend. You're helping him. That's it. 
Frankie spent a whole year being physically intimate with you, but never once asked or made a move for anything more emotionally. So why let yourself get carried away even thinking about something more?
To even consider if you wanted more...
You snatch the shot glass out of Santi's hand right before he was about to sip it and catapulted it down your throat, the burning sensation taking your mind out of the gutter.
Fuck Frankie for not keeping his shit together. Fuck him for being hot and cold. Fuck him for using you when that's exactly what you’re here for.
It's much easier to keep it all that way. Easy to encourage him with sex to avoid overthinking his intentions. Easier to constantly verbalize it, knowing he won’t deny it, as a means of reassurance to yourself. 
But absolutely fucking HELL he’s being so difficult lately. The sex—wasn’t just good. It was fucking phenomenal. you could physically see how much better he was just moments afterwards, even if you were blacking out and falling asleep not too long after. He was so hungry for it too, why deny? But he’d been holding back too much now—getting too tense, crashing, then stressed again. You needed to get things back on schedule with him so he’d be happy again.
And gentle, nurturing, innocent, sober you just wasn't doing the trick for him anymore.
You barely hear Santi over the pounding in your head: "When we was the last time you got laid? You need a distraction from your Fix-a-Fish hobby."
You gulp down the last of the vodka on the table, suppressing a slight burp.
"I'm 'bout to do both tonight."
That was 4 weeks ago. You didn’t achieve either that night.
Fish didn't seem too upset when you left, ultimately making the choice much easier. You looked so fucking stupid walking in there, basically demanding sex from him when he made it clear all year that you were only there for HIM and not the other way around. He didn’t want you like that. 
Good. Makes staying friends that much easier.
Or it did, for a little while. 
You couldn’t get over the way he made you feel when all was well—when he’d serenade you so easily in affection like Querida, Carino, Hermosa, and you could barely contain the butterflies in your stomach each time. You had never once heard him even refer to his dates or ex girlfriends in the same manner. It was both confusing and arousing. He treated you like a best friend some times, but adored you like a lover more. 
Hadn’t the man heard of friendship boundaries? Aside from the fact he made you orgasm every minute of the day, what was Frankie like as a lover? What more could he possibly do to cross that line?
Who the hell treats their friend like that?
That last month, however, felt more realistic. Grounded in the truth of your relation. You didn’t realize how much he had gotten to you with sweet words first that made the change in his attitude so unbearable. 
You wanted to go back to being selfish with his unbridled love.
You hadn’t gotten off in over a week, a new record. But as you lay in bed, conjuring any and all pornos, audio eroticas, pillows, aching fingers, even the dusty vibrator still wrapped in its new plastic, nothing was getting you to that same addictive feeling that Frankie gave you every single day.
You should have called him to return his shirt you had accidentally packed in your bag in a haste to get out of there. But it still smelled like him. You felt perverted getting wet just by holding it in your hands, but it was doing the trick, and finally you could touch yourself without additional lubricant assistance.
All the memories that tumbled from then on only made the ache between your legs worse: The first night, Frankie between your legs, begging you to let go so he could force more orgasms from your shaking body. “Doing s’good for me, cariño. Give me more, fucking starving” ; when he held you in his lap as you grind down on his bulge, his head buried under his shirt that you were wearing as his lapped at your nipples, “Don’t you dare hold back those beautiful moans, wanna hear you singing when I’m devouring you”; when he’d come home from work and didn’t say a word, just grabbed your wrist and lead you to his bedroom, lied on the bed, slapped your ass a few times to get you to straddle him higher, higher, until you were right over his lips. He didn’t even wait for your hesitation, immediately bringing your hips down and crashing his lips on your pussy, shaking his head like a mad scientist at work, hell bent on discovering what makes you cry faster.
You pulled your fingers away from your slick cunt. No amount of memory would compare to the real thing—and it wasn’t all the acts that you needed, but the intimacy, the familiarity that came from Frankie—THAT’S what always sent you over the edge.
It scared you.
Santi was half right. You did need to get laid. Needed someone who wasn’t Frankie to remind you that you don’t rely on him for some shit like getting off (although you had developed a keen preference by now). You needed a new hobby that wasn’t thinking about Frankie all the time. YOU needed a distraction.
He was half wrong, however, because you knew very well that you’d be drowning in lame date after lame lay a million times before you got over the addictive feeling of being around Fish this past year.
It never felt like a chore. Well, obviously, you were getting ate out like a Sunday brunch. But it was everything else that made you want to keep staying around, even after he maybe didn’t need you anymore.
You realized then that leaving was the best for you and him. You had somehow managed to score a  date tonight, the first one in over a year, with a James. Or Jonathan. Or Jimmy. Something J. I think.
I’m excited. I’m going on a date. I’m going to have fun. I’m excited. Im going on a date. Im going to have fun.
You didn’t even have the care to shave tonight before you begrudgingly left for dinner and a movie.
-
He couldn't say it then. Frankie remembered so vividly the image that he wishes he could forget: you standing there, so meek and vulnerable, spilling your tears as you tried to level your emotions with your feelings and confront the fucked up situation he put you in. Maybe if you had screamed, yelled at him and cussed him out for being such a dick, then he could have told you how he truly felt.
He was always better at being shouted at by others from being in the service. The guys would let their tempers soar and just shout, honesty tumbling through like a flood, and then everything would be out on the table, and shit would get DONE.
The apartment is unforgivably quiet and cold.
He's noticing little things you left behind: your nice moisturizer, expensive shampoo, a paper towel holder. He thinks you’re mocking him by leaving bits of you around his place, so he collects them in a bin and waits for you to come retrieve them. But you don't contact him for the first week.
He starts to think maybe you left those things for him. You bought all these things while you were here, forcing him to use them with you:
"Your face is as dry as a desert; you need moisturizer, not body lotion.”
"You can't use a 4 in one hair and body wash!"
"Who the fuck doesn't have a holder for their paper towels?"
It wasn't all just sex when you were here. He remembered coming in to the bathroom when your feet were soaking in the tub, and you explained you were rubbing your calluses off your feet. He joined you, sweats pulled up above his knee as you held him down to get the stone on his crusty feet, the whole time laughing and squirming because it tickled too much. He fell on his ass in the tub desperate to escape your strangely strong grip around his ankle, getting his clothes all wet.
And despite how well he had known you even before your arrangement, he continued to learn new things about you. Like you took night showers, and could only go to bed with your hair in braid. He'd come to see you, agitated in his room all morning, waiting for you to finally wake up so he could distract his craving. He’d walk into the kitchen where you were already cooking him breakfast, slip his arms around your hip, and pull your braids out lovingly to smell scent of your shampoo waft off in waves, closing his eyes and feeling his jitters dissipate, instantly calming him like no other remedy.
Found it funny that you couldn’t use a regular spoon for cereal, always replacing it with a tea spoon because the other ones are “too big” for your mouth to fully close around. A sentiment he suspected to be a load of BS when you had no problem swallowing his cock whole and then gulping down his cum without spilling a drop.
Or when you got red sauce all over the laundry and had to borrow Frankie's shirt to sleep in. He liked that you smelled like him, that it draped over you so pretty, and you'd never wear pants underneath. He'd put you in his lap and make you hold the shirt up with your teeth, showing off your perky tits. His thumb circled your hip bone, large hand clasping your waist to keep you upright while he'd kiss your nipples, and then make you both look down and watch as he rubbed his fingers through your folds, sucking the juices off as he finger fucked you over top him.
He can't help but feel his twitch of his cock stir in his pants at the thought.
Ok. Maybe the sexual parts were a big part—how could they not be? That’s all it was, at first. And he was able to pretend like it was too. But the more time he spent with you. The more time he got to really know you, live with you, breathe you in, unravel you and bind him to you so that you had no sanctuary untouched by him, it was all over before it began. 
He sat down with Pope a week after you left: 
“You look like shit.”
Frankie grumbled, shrugging it off. He hadn’t slept, hadn’t eaten like he used to when you were around. His beard was growing in more patchy and less manicured than before.
“Have you talked to her since?”
“Don’t wanna talk about her tonight.”
Jesus, a broken record with these two, Santi thought. But he knew Fish much better, knew the exact reason why he called him out instead of all the boys together is precisely because he needed to get this off his chest. “She thought you were stressed, needed time. Clearly she was right.”
Frankie’s jaw clenched, teeth grinding so hard that he could form diamonds.
Santi cleared his throat, twirling the ice in his glass casually. “Course, I didn’t tell her you’re head over heels in love with her. Why didn’t you?”
He doesn’t deny it. Doesn’t think he could again. “Imagine how that would have gone? She was crying right there. Right in front of me, BECAUSE of me, after I’d treated her like shit for weeks until her breaking point. Would have given her some fucked up idea that that was my expression of loving her. If I’d said it then, she would never have believed me. Would have ruined everything. Including our friendship.” He pauses, staring down at his rough hands. “She deserves better,” he said weakly, more to convince himself than anyone else.
Santi leans back against the booth. He’d heard the Frankie pity train before, but this was much lower than usual. “And friendship is still good enough for you?”
“I’ll take whatever she’ll give me at this point. I can’t lose her.” 
“You can’t? Or don’t want to?”
Frankie thought about that for a while. He had realized too late he didn’t actually still need you. He hadn’t really “craved” cocaine like before. He no longer needed you tending to his every reaction, overly serving his necessities and desires, always a few steps away to brighten his smile, or warm the house with your laughter, your cooking, your terrible taste in movies, all for the sake of keeping him sane and sober.
But damn it all, he still wanted you.
Frankie goes 4 weeks of the hardest withdrawal of his life. You were right, he was getting better at not thinking about cocaine. But without you here, he's more agitated than before. It's not that he craves it now, but rather craves a substitute to get him through your absence.
He's itching for his phone, for the number of his dealer he should have blocked and deleted so long ago.
He shouldn't. It would devastate you. You'd think it's your fault because you weren't here to distract him, only making the whole lie he’s been telling himself that you could still be just friends more abundantly evident. Pushing that useless tale even further, rooting it in your mind.
 In truth, it is your fault that his entire happiness is now emotionally and physically tied to you, but he can't really blame you for leaving him since he's the big idiot. He had the entire year to make it right, damned be the consequences of your possible rejection.
He’s clenching his fist at his sides, debating whether to text his dealer. He doesn't even want that shit, at least not the way before. He just wants a distraction from the real aches that you've left behind.
And if he did... wouldn't you come back to him to make it right?
You’re so clear in his mind that doesn't even struggle, doesn't hesitate as he pays the money and carries the little pouch in his hands. He gets back to his apartment with vigorous haste, slamming the door behind him, and sits it on the coffee table, staring.
Even if you don't come back to him, getting just a little bit high would help take his mind off it all. He'd be able to stop thinking about you, even for just the night. Just to get some sleep.
Just to stop feeling.
He shakily tries to undo the tightly sealed bag, but few particle traces catch in his finger tips from outside the plastic, and he instantly wafts the infinitesimal scent of it on his finger tips. He stops, feeling something he's never felt before when staring down at the thing thats caused him so much trouble in his life:
Disgust.
-
You considered calling Frankie a million times, but how soon was too soon? Would he think you were just desperate to get ate out again? Would he deny you the second you wanted to see him, thinking it was just a booty call again? You had made some stupid choices, like going on a shitty date with a guy you weren’t even interested in, just to get over Frankie, so that you could avoid thinking about how badly you had shattered your friendship.
And going right back to being his friend, which included sharing one of your reckless decisions you make on your own, was one of them. He’d be interested in hearing about it, right?
You dial him up quickly.
You rock back and forth on your heels, unable to sit still.
The phone rings out to voicemail.
He’s never missed a phone call from you. Not even at 2am on a work night. He's never on his phone, and yet still always managed to answer your calls even if it’s on the last ring.
He's just avoiding you again. It's fine. Santi said he'll get over it eventually. That you’ve done enough worrying for him, and need to take care of yourself for a change.
You glance at the key he gave back to you, and not even a moment later, are soon slipping on shoes and heading out the door with it in hand.
-
You unlock the door and slowly walk in to the familiar layout of Frankie's apartment. It's entirely dark, curtains drawn save for a small crack in the shades. You call out his name tentatively, the eeriness of the place making you anxious. When you see the bathroom light on and door slightly ajar, hearing the rushing sink water running, you sigh relief.
Thank God.
You gently push open the door. "Fish?" You see him, heart skipping a beat at how much thinner, paler he looked now than before, eyes sunk from lack of sleep.
His eyes light up when he sees you, and your heart breaks at how different he looks but STILL has the brightest, softest, loving smile at you.
Your eyes drift down, smile fading, horror quickly overtaking your face at the unopened baggie of white powder sitting at the sink. And his face drops at the realization.
You take one step back, unable to close the gape in your lips, petrified. "Fish—I—holy fuck..."
You had never seen him doing it, never seen him freshly blown high from it. The closest you ever got was what the boys would tell you, or seeing the long aftermath of his crash. They were always first on the scene and quite frankly, ensured you were never the one to find in him these states. You had never been able to mentally prepare to have to handle it now.
"No—no no no! It's not, I didn’t, I didn't! Look—ok it looks like I did but I swear I haven't touched it. It’s still sealed! I’m. I'm dumping it down the toilet."
You don't trust his word, seeing as the bag is here, albeit fully wrapped up, seal unbroken like he said. But here, nonetheless. With him. In front of you with no denial that it was his. 
He gets on his knees and wraps his arms around your waist. “Please don’t leave me. I didn’t want you to leave the first time…”
“And it’s taking you being high right now to admit that?!”
I’m not high, seriously. Check me.” You peer down closer, and aside from his rampant heart beating against your leg and big round eyes, there’s no trace of smell or lingering white powder anywhere on him. But you’re hesitant.
“I bought it but then realized It wasn’t what I really wanted…”
He licks his lips quickly, his brown eyes pleading up to you, biceps flexing against your ribcage.
Your chest is pounding, the encasing feeling of Frankie refusing to let you back away making you feel like a trapped rabbit. 
“Please believe me,” he breathes.
"Your eyes are dilated as fuck Frankie!"
"That's because of you!"
You both hold your breath, a pregnant silence ringing in the air.
“I—I’m. Um. I meant." His eyes trail off sheepishly as a warm blush takes over his face. 
He stands up, rubbing the back of his head. He can tell you’re patiently waiting for him to get over his blubbering awkwardness so he can explain properly. To find the words he’s combing his brain for. And find them he did: 
"I miss you, Querida.”
He breathes slowly, time catching up and suddenly stopping. 
You glance toward the bag, still fearful that he had gotten to this point while you were gone. “Frankie. I’m—I’m so sorry I wasn’t here. For your needs—“
“I don’t need you to fix me. I haven’t craved that shit for a while, still don’t even now. I just wanted you here with me.” He snatches the baggie and chucks it in the toilet, immediately flushing it.
You want to say that might not be great for the plumbing, but Frankie’s hands are on yours, holding them securely to his chest. “I just want you. I should have said it before you walked away.  Should’ve said it a year ago, when I knew I didn’t want to pretend this was just some—some drug replacement.” He goes quieter. “I didn’t want this to be nothing. I thought when we had sex, maybe you’d feel the same, but you didn’t—”
“I was afraid about what would happen to you If our dynamic changed, Fish. I was worried it was just another high. So I tried to make things go back to how they were since it seemed to be working so well for you before,” you rambled. He can see the shininess in your eyes, feel how your body is no longer resisting him and instead, cradling his neck with affection, empathy, nurture, all the things he’d been depraved of for weeks. “But then it made everything worse and I didn’t know what to do—“
He cut you off, as if suddenly things didn’t line up. ”Why did you come back?"
You lick your lips, eyes unable to meet his. “Well I called, and you didn't answer. And I wanted to check up on you, and tell you... um—I mean I always tell you about… I went on a date, my first one in over a year."
Frankie's eyes blankly drift lower, down to your feet, his arms retreating. He takes an awkward step back. "How... how did it go?" He asks slowly, feeling the distance between the two of you growing again.
You throw your hands up in the air, unable to express yourself. “He was…Handsome. Funny. Charming. Paid for me, made me feel pretty, treated me real good—“
He nodded, unable to bring his eyes anywhere else but back to the back on the sink as he listened. “S’good. That’s what you deserve,” he says, jaw tensing.
“Yeah. Yeah it is what I deserve.” You pause, here goes everything. “Except the whole time, I hated the fact that he was nothing like you." 
Frankie’s attention darts back to you as you cup his scruffy face in your hands. "You're irritable, and sassy, and needy and clingy, and you pout when you don't get what you want. And you don't listen to me or stop when I tell you to stop—“
A roasting fest? Now?? “OK, That's, Jesus, I get it—“
"And I love all those things about you.” You hold his gaze, feeling his breath seize in his chest. “And I miss being here. I miss waking up with you every morning, and your smug face being the last I see before I go to sleep. And it took me until after I left to realize how I actually felt about you. This whole year with you has felt like this perfect—“
"High?"
Your brows furrow shyly. “I didn’t want to put it that way, for obvious reasons. But fuck it. Yes. I don’t—I don’t wanna let that go.”
His fingers tense around your waist, almost begging you to say it, spill it out for him and don’t hold back ever again. 
“You got me addicted to you, Francisco."
You aren't aware of how fast he moves, his hands grabbing your neck as he smashes his lips to yours. Your heart is beating out of your chest when he sucks every breath from you, barely separating from your lips to utter "I've waited—so long—for you—“ He hoists you up on his waist and brushes out of the bathroom with your legs wrapped securely around him, his kiss hot and full of passion the entire time. "Wanted you since you first let me have a taste of you.” He slams you on the bed, the familiarity of you two being in this exact situation settles on you. “Wanted you to want me. Want more.”
He continues to engulf your lips with his, his moans vibrating against your tongue. "I shouldn’t—“ he hastily bites your lip with a grunt “—shouldn't have pushed you away—treated you so bad.” He pauses his assault. “I was so scared you didn't want me like that. Couldn't handle pretending I could be okay with it.”
You place your hands on his chest, feeling the pounding of his heart matching yours. "Frankie, I want you."
"Good," he smiles, leaning up to remove his shirt over his shoulders. You whine at the sight. Draping himself over you, his lips never leave your body as he kisses down your chest then back to your lips. You’re unable to bring yourself to action as his body dictates both of your moves.
You feel his bulge pressing painfully against your core, eliciting an obscene moan from your throat. "Frankie—Let me take care—“
"No. Fuck no. I'm taking care of you tonight. And tomorrow, and every fuckin’ day after," he growls.
He kisses you once again but then slowly backs away. "Um, if... if you want that."
He feels your hand tangle in the hair behind his neck as you bring his face back to yours, teeth clashing for dominance. "I want it," you whisper, sucking his lower lip and biting it possessively.
His jaw hitches. “Prove it."
You unbutton your pants, taking his large hand and guiding it down your panties in haste. His digits make contact between your folds, the two of you sighing.
"Oh f-fuck. You want this, don't you?"
"Want you so bad, Frankie. It fucking hurts.”
His fingers dont leave your dripping cunt, spreading your slick around your swollen clit. His other rips your string underwear off with incredible strength. He then helps push your shirt over your head, and you immediately unclasp your bra. Frankie growls lowly at the sight of your perky breasts bouncing from their release. "Fuck, I missed these.” His mouth wraps around as much fat of your tit he could before biting, making you lurch. 
“I—I’m not gonna be slow—I wanted to—“
"Jesus Fish, I don’t care, just take me!"
He plunges two of his thick digits into your soaking heat, making your back arch off the bed. He takes the opportunity to suck a nipple back into his mouth, half his body hovering over you to keep your form perfectly positioned between his mouth and fingers. They teasingly thrust in and out slowly from your hole, intentionally dragging out his torture against you. "So mean to me, baby." His teeth nip at your nipple with a smug grin. "Takin’ my sweet little pussy away from me like that. I barely touched you and you're absolutely soaked. Were you wet on your way here?"
"Frankie I haven't... haven't been able to get off in weeks."
"How long?"
You moan out loud, eyes rolling back as your brain turns to mush. Your hand tries to guide his wrist faster but he slaps it away, continuing his teasing ministrations.
"Answer me!"
"Since the last time you touched me!" You cry.
He haults his movements. 
The girl who bragged about cumming an average of 6 times a day just grinding on a pillow, now telling him she hasn't been able to orgasm in a month, because of him.
Ohhhhhhh fuuuuccccckkkkkfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. “That why you went on your little date, huh?"
You nod shamefully.
"Did you fuck him?"
You whine, eyes burrowing in confusion that he still expected you have coherent thoughts while he had you in this compromising position, teetering on the brink of your much needed orgasm.
"Your date.” He repeats, his wrist slowing down entirely. “Did. You. Fuck. Him."
“No—no! I didn’t even let him kiss me goodnight. Couldn't even get wet for him, that's how bad—Frankie, fuck! please!—bad you've got me fucked up."
He speeds up his hands, satisfied with your confessions. They are thrusting perfectly in and out at record speeds as his jaw clenched around your tit, watching your eyes roll back as your first orgasm in WEEKS overwhelms you fast. You’re shaking violently, legs desperate to close but Frankie pries them open with his strong hand, continuing to dominate your cunt with his incessant fingers.
You feel something else coming as he continues to ram his wrist against you, fingers digging so deep, curling so effortlessly that you can’t stop the gush of liquid squirting out of you. “Oh shit, oh fuckfuckFUCK that’s it! That’s my girl, holy fuck yeah—yeah keep going, Cariño, so fucking good.” He continues to finger fuck you repeatedly, working you through it as your pussy continues to contract and release your spend.
You hardly have time to process your embarrassment as he's shifting below your hips, throwing your thighs over shoulder and giving your soaked pussy a longing look. Your clit twitches excitedly. Cool air is blown on it, making you fist his hair harder. He presses his large nose into you, inhaling your scent like bloodhound, growling like a man possessed at the sticky coating. "I fucking missed you, Hermosa," he groans, and his mouth latched right on to your pulsing cunt. You gasp, hands fisting his hair as he rolls your overstimulated clit with his tongue, jaw opening wide to practically swallow your pussy whole, sucking away everything you're giving him.
Whether he was talking to you or your pussy, it didn’t really matter to you. All you could process was the rough feeling of his fat tongue and scruffy face rubbing perfectly between your legs as Frankie got reacquainted with his former addiction. "FrankieFrankieFranke-ohFUCK!"
You can’t stop him, can’t even warn him as the overstimulation send you into a fit of gasps, cumming again, legs squeezing his head as painful pleasure courses through you. His upper back is littered in your scratches, the red marks raising his skin like tiger stripes.
You're struggling to catch your breath with ragged moans. He slows his licks to draw it out, letting your spasms pass. His sinful, lidded eyes have never left your face, absorbing every reaction from you, committing it to memory.
"You really have neglected this poor pussy," he teases, kissing your clit as his fingers begin to spread your glistening folds once again.
You can only nod, arms covering your face as he starts to rub the pad of his thumb on your swollen nub again. “It’s—not as good—unless it’s you.”
He grits his teeth in satisfaction. “S’okay. M’ gonna take care of you now. Gonna fuck you real soon."
You whine when he pushes his fingers back in to your tight heat.
"And then, when I’m done fucking you—We're gonna fuck again," he laughs.
You’re a bit frightened with how he’s looking at you: like he’s fucking possessed by a hungry, malicious demon.
He makes you cum on his fingers again, then his lips, then both at once. He’s pinning you down so harshly, you have no choice but to take the endless barrage of orgasms he’s forcing from you, almost as if he’s trying to make up for the time you two have been apart. 
By the time his tastebuds are content, he brings himself back up to you, messily kissing your lips so you taste yourself, his beard and stache now soaked in your cum and rubbing along your chin.
You gasp when you feel his hard cock sliding along your folds. He rolls his hips against you, your copious slick letting him glide effortlessly, tip nudging your clit.
“Frankie,” you warn, unable to handle his teasing now.
He grabs the base of his dick. “Beg. Beg me for it,” He commands with a godly voice you’d never heard him use before. He slaps the underside of his throbbing member repeatedly against your pussy with a taptaptaptap. “Tell me you want it.”
You don’t care for the fat tears spilling down your cheeks as you whine like a bitch in heat. “Fuckyou, Frankie,” you seethe, anger building with your desperation. “I fucking want it, want it so bad, want you to ruin me, please, Fish, fucking please put it in already!”
He grins, big and sadistic as he watches your face contort with the first push of his tip into your wetness. “Oh F—“ he breathes, eyes closing as your tight walls do their best to accomodate his size.
Your eyesight is blurry, waves of pleasure rolling throughout your entire body, delirious as he bottoms out. Where he belongs. Where he’s always meant to be.
He presses his forehead to you as his hips start rutting.
He’s hardly fucked you for a few seconds, but the pressure building inside of you, desperate for this moment again after months, isn’t giving you a choice to savor it. “Fish—fuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK! ‘M not gonna last!"
He growls excitedly, driving his cock more harshly into you, reaching that special spot he’s decided is only his to abuse. “It’s okay, babygirl. You cum for me. You're always so good at it."
And you are, you really are. “OH FUCK FRANKIE!” You scream. Your body agreeing with him so much that your abrupt orgasm squeezes around him so hard, his movements stop altogether.
“Oh shit—“ he hisses, your pussy greedily milking the cum right out of him. He only pauses for a moment, shaking over you for a moment as his first orgasm subsides before his hips are moving of their own accord, his cum forced out with each thrust.
“Keep goin’, pretty thing. Give me more,” he grunts. 
You nod deliriously, eyes rolled to the back of your skull as he pounds your battered puussy.
He pulls out, the sudden withdrawal making you whine with emptiness. He sinks to his knees again, yanking your knees up to your chest. Your pussy twitches, his cum spilling out and sinking down your ass.
He lets out of primal groan from the back of his throat before smashing his mouth on your cunt, sucking your clit and tongue fucking your hole like a cream filled pastry. You feel the descending bob of his Adam’s apple against your rear as he swallows the mixture of your cum, drinking it like liquid life from the source. “We taste—so—fucking—good, Princesa,” he taunts, tongue lapping your little clit in quick succession before shaking his head back and forth aggressively against your mound, smearing the obscene mixture across your folds and making a mess.
Oh fuck, he’s so gone.
He quickly gets on his knees, turning you over on your stomach like you weigh nothing. His hands grip around your hips, bringing them flush against his crotch again as you arch your back for him. He puts his palm on the small of your back, keeping you right there, pressed tight against him as his cock slides back into your eager and cum coated cunt.
“Fuck yeah,” he groans, setting a faster pace this time. You hadn't realized just how much Frankie was holding back the first time you had sex. He leans over your body, hands splayed past your shoulders, fisting the bed as he rails you deep, his thighs crashing against you with harsh slaps. Your temple lands against his cheek, meeting eye contact. He smiles, breath caught in his throat like running a mile at your fucked out expression. 
He continues to fuck you like an animal. A soft hand grips your chin lovingly, tilting your head further back so his lips meet yours with each punishing grind. You’re surprised by how much you love the hold he has on you, willingly submitting to him without being told. Drunk on each other’s lust.
You suck greedily around his tongue, hand reaching behind the two of you to play with his soft brown curls, refusing to let him leave your mouth. He stutters with a few more thrusts before halting, eyes scrunched closed. “AUUGHHH—haaaahh!” You feel the twitch of him inside you, draining his balls some more of his plentiful seed. 
“Fuck, fuck I love it when you cum inside me!” You confess. The action makes you fall forward, mouth burying into his pillows as you muffle your own cry of your release again.
He pulls out of you and flops to the bed. You think maybe he is done, after having cum twice now, bur Frankie is quick to bring you to straddle him, his dick never once softening as it presses incessantly to your entrance again. He licks his lips, watching his cum spill down your thighs, right to his creamy cock that refuses to fully part from you. 
“Frankie,” you moan, unsure if you can take him again.
“Want you just like this. Ride me,” he breathes. He’s covered in sweat, out of breath and shaking with a mix of exhaustion and adrenaline if it were possible. His hands gently wrap around your waist as he guides you. Eyes so lidded, transfixed on the area where your mound slowly swallows him again.
You’re nodding, body taking over all actions, completely starved for the man under you. 
He leans up to get a good look at you, taking it slow, burning this in head to remember.
"Thought about you... everyday.” He whispers, mouth parted in lust, gliding your hips along with steady rolls. “Couldn't sleep."
His hands down along the curve of your ass, to your thighs spread out over him, before rubbing up the length of your back, holding you as close to him as he can possibly bring you, your tits pressing against his chest. He struggles to breathe evenly as your creamy pussy continues to tighten around him each time he breaches you, the two of you moaning softly into each others’ open mouths. He occasionally catches your lips, slotting perfectly as you grind against him.
His mouth finds its way back down to your pebbled nipple, biting gently before kissing it better. He brings his face back to yours. “So perfect for me,” he whispers.
You start grinding on him more fervently, lifting yourself on your knees ever slightly and baring down on him. He grits his teeth, sinking further down into the bed, eyes never leaving you as his digs his nails into the meat of your hips, forcing you to bounce harder. 
“That’s it, baby. Ride me just like that. MY girl, my beautiful girl.”
You bite your lips, feelings your clit catch on his public hairs. The sloppy squelching of his cum being driven out of your heat by his thick cock is no match to the heavenly sounds you were making atop him. The vein in his neck strains like he’s suffocating himself from air, refusing to slow down, to take a break, to let go for even just a moment.
“More. Give me more,” you moan, confidence soaring as you feel him begin to meet your hips with every thrust. “I want all of you, Frankie.”
He shouts out, lifting you up, his feet digging into mattress as he fucks you from below. “Fuck, fuck!”
You want to throw your head back, ride out this high, but the dangerous allure of him watching you brings your focus down to him, watching the way the two of you are getting off to the other falling apart.
“Just like this. You n’ me. Want it just like this. Forever.” He mumbles repeatedly, ragged pants uneven as he fills you the way you had been unknowingly wanting for months.  
You feel the build of your umpteenth orgasm building in your lower tummy. “Frankie-F-Franke! I’m—I’m gonna—“
“Do it, Querida, do it f-for me.” He thinks he can starve off the low build of his third orgasm of the night, just enough to make you cum for him once more.
You feel the heavy knot in your stomach snap. With absolutely no hesitation, no doubt behind your word, you cry out, “I love you!” as you cum harder than any time before.
Lifting you both practically off the bed, Frankie’s hips seize, pressed so tightly against yours there was no room between you. He shouts loudly, animalistic, snarling with his teeth baring at you and 0 control left in him, immediately emptying his load deep inside with each heavy pulse of his cock against your cervix, painting your walls white with the last of his cum that his balls could give you.
You collapse on top of him, the two of you sucking  air like you were underwater for years. Neither of you say anything, covered in sweat and cum, but finally being able to relax from the pent up release that’s been building there far longer than it ever should have been.
His hand rests against your lower back, somehow pressing your naked body closer to his. 
“I love you,” you whisper again to his collarbone. He brings your eyes to his, and this time he knows you mean it.
-
Frankie wakes to a cold bed.
His arm reaches out subconsciously for your body, but only feels cool empty sheets at his side. His eyes fly open, head sitting upright as he scans his bedroom. There's no sign of you. None of your clothes are scattered on the floor, no immediate trace of your scent. He feels a strong pain in his chest suffocating and stabbing him all at once.
He lies back flat on his pillow, fingers rubbing his forehead. He has two thoughts: the first thought, the one he'd rather think is true, is that it was all dream. You hadn't come home to him.
Before he could bring himself to consider the pain of the second thought, the fear is instantly squashed when he hears the door creak open, your sweet soft smile and gentle eyes landing on him.
‘Hiiiii,” you whisper in a singsong, gentle morning voice. Tip toeing bare foot on the hardwood floor, he see’s you’re dressed in nothing but one of Frankies slightly torn over sized, faded band T shirts that swallows your body. Your bed head still evident, eyes baggy yet happy from the events of last night.
He didn't realize he had held his breath the moment before you walked in, afraid that rather than having dreamt it all, that it did happen, and you had left him anyway.
"I made you tea," you hummed, setting the two cups down by his bedside table.
Your ears go red at the image of him: sheet pulled half way up his hip, his bare chest and torso visible as he props himself up with his elbows to get a good look at you. And the WAY he's looking at you, like you’re the only thing that matters in the world, has you sheepishly avoiding his big brown pupils, sliding in to the covers and nuzzling your head against his shoulder.
He wraps his arms around you, unwilling to let you sneak off again. “Don’t wake up before me like that again.”
You giggle. “Frankie, it’s 4 in the afternoon.” 
He checks his digital clock by the bed, true to your word. You both had fucked so hard, so long last night that he didn’t even realize it was well into the morning by the time you had drifted to sleep. 
He lies back down in bed, encircling you to him again. He can more clearly see the damage of last night’s episode on you: bite marks along your tits, hickies against your inner thighs and swollen lips. he doesn’t even need to touch your pussy, feeling its puffy soreness pressing against his leg. He kisses you gently yet passionately this morning, cradling your head so you can’t back away. Not that you want to—he doesn’t feel any resistance in your movements as you devour his lips. 
“I love you,” he says clearly. He can feel the way your breath hitches, the blush on your cheeks at the confession. “I love you, and I’m so sorry it took me so long to say it. I’m sorry I caused you so much confusion and I—“
“Okay, Fish. It’s okay. I know.” You bite your lip, pushing your hand against his chest so that he’s lying down on his back. “But I’m not sure I forgive you just yet.”
A brief moment of confusion wracks his face before you’re clambering on top of him again, your naked lower body straddling his under the sheet. You fist the t shirt of your head, letting your soft supple breasts fall. Frankie immediately grabs them tenderly with both of his warm hands, his breath quickening. His length twitches, hard as a rock and pressing right against his lower stomach as you glide your slick folds along him.
“I think you should keep making it up to me.” You align the tip of his throbbing cock against your swollen entrance and sink down, hands seeking purchase on his chest, scratching the skin there as he fills your sore cunt, taking him down to the hilt in one go.
You let out the tiniest, sexiest whimper, and Frankie is ready to drop everything he’s ever owned just to hear it again. So smitten with you, he’s grinning harder than he has his entire life. Like a big dumb idiot.
Your big dumb idiot.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Querida: I love you.”
Tagging people who either requested a part 2/3 or directly requested to be tagged. At least what i can remember (sorry if I missed you!)
- - - -
Series masterlist
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Permanent Taglist: @harriedandharassed 
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dreamescapeswriting · 11 months
Text
Stray Kids Reaction || You’re Sana’s Best Friend And Have A Crush On a Member
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⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - June 2023
⤜MASTERLIST
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CHAN:
As soon as Sana found out about the crush that you had on Chan she was doing everything within her power to make sure the two of you would see each other. It didn't matter if she had no real reason to go and see him, she would find something. Today was no different it seemed, Sana told you that you'd come here because she owed him some money but Chan had no idea what she was talking about when you both got here.
"We can bring him to lunch with us, right Chan? You'd love to come and grab food." Chan glanced up from his laptop and as soon as his eyes met yours a slight blush began to creep onto his cheeks.
"I'd love to," He stood up from behind his desk, grabbing his bag while your heart was doing summersaults at the thought of getting to spend some time with him.
"Great because I can't and Yn is hungry," Your mouth dropped open as soon as Sana left the room leaving you and chan alone as you stared at one another.
"I guess it's a date." Chan nudged you ever so slightly and you could have sworn your whole body was on fire.
"Y-Yeah, a date," Chan smirked noticing the slight stutter that you were now giving off and the two of you headed out to go and find something to eat together.
MINHO:
You should have known Sana was up to no good when she'd texted you to meet her inside the JYPE building. Normally the two of you would meet up at your favourite cafe but this morning she'd told you to come and meet her inside - which was no issue since you were under her list of friends allowed inside.
"Sana, if this is some weird way to scare me I'll never forgive you." You called out to her as you walked into the practice room, the lights were all on and as soon as you walked inside the door was slammed shut behind you. 
"I see you were given instructions to meet her here too." Minho suddenly asked from the seats in the back corner of the room, you jumped a little holding your hand over your chest.
"Ever since I told her about my crush, she's been relentless." Minho finally admitted as if it was the most casual thing in the world, meanwhile, your heart was refusing to stop racing.
"You have a crush, on?" You waited for him to say it explicitly, not wanting to just assume.
"You," He smirked, confidence oozing out of him as he made his way over to you and winked a little, your whole world was spinning so fast you could barely see.
"I'm- I'm going to need a minute," You giggled making Minho blush, honestly it was music to his ears whenever you giggled all laughed around him.
CHANGBIN:
When you'd told Sana about your crush on Changbin, you'd never really expected her to think much of it. You'd only mentioned it in passing and had assumed that she'd barely acknowledged what you were saying since you were both a little tipsy. 
"Tell me again why we had to meet in Changbin's studio..." You said as you sat down on the swivel chair, looking at everything that was set up on his desk. There was a photo of you and Changbin together and beside that were a couple of keepsakes you'd gotten for him since the two of you were friends. 
"We're just waiting for him to show up." She lied, Changbin was just in the next room set up for some of the NMIXX girls to come and record.
"Do you still have a crush on him?" You span around to face her, stunned by the sudden question.
"Can you be quiet about it? He's one of our best friends, I don't exactly want to tell him I've had a crush on him this whole time." You laughed awkwardly but a smirk began to take over Sana'a lips and you froze in place.
"He's behind me, isn't he?" All Sana did was nod before you span in your chair to see a very blushing Changbin looking at you.
"A crush? On me?" He sounded so surprised by it but he was already making his way over to you,
"Me too, I mean...a crush on you, not on me, I can't have a crush on me because that would be weird, and I don't-" He stopped talking when you let out a small giggle, looking up at him.
"I'll come and see you after I'm done here...Please, don't go anywhere." He begged and you nodded quickly kissing his cheek before leaving the studio.
HYUNJIN:
If it wasn't obvious enough to everyone around you that you had a crush on Hyunjin, it was now. Not only did you suddenly turn into a clumsy mess around him but it appeared you now stuttered and stammered whenever he was close to you.
"Hyunjin just put the girl out of her misery and take her on a date," Sana said as she noticed you drop a glass on the floor and it shattered as it hit the floor. Sana knew that Hyunjin knew of your crush on him and every time he flirted with you or got too close on purpose it was because he liked to see you flustered for him but she'd had enough. 
"But it's fun to see Yn squirm," Your heart was in your throat as you turned your head to look up at him.
"You knew? This whole time?!" Your voice cracked ever so slightly toward the end of your questioning and he nodded his head.
"Don't worry, I thought it was cute." Hyunjin complimented as he bent down to pick up the broken shards of glass leaving you to whine and groan at the thought of him knowing this whole time about the crush you had on him.
JISUNG:
"Did you get the same text?" A voice suddenly asked making you look up from the menu and instantly you knew that you were going to kill your best friend.
"Yeah, she told me she'd meet me for food." You told Jisung as he took a place in front of you, sliding his phone into your view so you could see the exact message word for word on his screen,
[SANA 4:55pm] Let's meet at FuzzCafe at 5:30! xx 
You should have known she was going to do something like this for you, ever since you'd told her last week about your crush on Jisung she'd relentlessly been telling you about it.
"I'll kill her." You grumbled under your breath, noticing Jisung looking slightly saddened by it,
"It's nothing against you, it's just, she knows what she's doing by forcing us together and she thinks it's going to end well but I told her that you would never feel the same way and that she shouldn't get involved and yet here we are." You rambled our before realising a little too late that you'd in, some way or another, told Jisung you liked him.
"Who said I wouldn't feel the same?" A blush was growing deeper on his cheeks as he stared back at you, both of you smiling a relaxing.
"Let's order food and we can continue talking about it?" He suggested making you shyly nod at him.
FELIX:
Felix was oblivious to it all, it didn't matter how obvious Sana made it for him he just didn't take the hint and it was starting to get to her. All she wanted was for her best friend and someone she saw as a little brother to finally be happy together but it seemed he was blind to all the signs.
"Oh my god, no!" You screamed out when you walked into the small canteen to see Sana writing a literal sign with the words "Felix YN has a crush on you" written on it.
"Are you insane?!" You quickly placed your tray on top of the sign and scanned the room to make sure none of the stray kids boys was even around to see it.
"It's the only way he's going to take the hint," She pouted at you, your heart fluttering when you saw her giving you her signature pleading eyes look.
"Maybe he knows and is choosing to ignore you. Did you ever think about that?" She shook her head at you, there was no way Felix didn't like you back.
"He likes you. I know it, besides when he sees this sign, he'll tell you the truth," You shook your head at her, slowly taking your tray away from her when you thought it was safe to do so.
"Oh." The voice came so deep you almost dropped your tray turning around to see Felix right behind Sana, your eyes scanned him before he looked at you and blushed.
"My work here is done," Sana said proudly, leaving her sign on the table as you and Felix sat down together to talk some more.
SEUNGMIN:
It was a stupid dare, one that you were regretting as every single second passed by. You were sneaking into one of the dance studios where Seungmin and Jeongin were practising together, the plan was to grab his phone and delete the voicemail before he ever had a chance to listen to it.
"Will you relax, he's probably not listened to it yet." Sana giggled as you stopped just outside of the room, everything was completely silent which didn't feel you with much hope.
"If he's listened to it, you have to kill me." You told her as you headed into the room, your eyes squinting a little as you tried not to let the bright lights hurt you since you were hung over/
"Seungmin!" Sana squealed rushing to hug him while you made a quick b-line for his jacket, you knew his passcode since you, Sana and himself were quite close with one another.
"Did you girls have a nice night last night?"
"We did, did you? I heard you and Jeongin had an early night." Sana did her best to distract him while you hunted for his voicemails.
"We did. Yn, did you have a reallllyyy good time last night?" As soon as you heard his line of questioning you froze and turned to face him.
"I heard that you reeeeallllyyyy liked last night and that you, reallllyyyy like me." You groaned inwardly and slowly sunk down into the seats.
"It's cute. I'm glad though," He told you as he made his way over to you, standing above you with his face so close to yours.
"Because I reeeallllyyyy like you too," He whispered making your whole body burn for him.
"I'll leave you guys to it," Sana smirked before heading out.
JEONGIN:
"Are you sure this is a good idea? Do I look okay?" The uncertainty in your voice oozed out easily and Sana smiled turning around to hold you in place. All morning she'd been prepping you for your "date" with Jeongin and you were suddenly ready to back out of it and run for the hills. You'd told Sana about your crush on Jeongin months ago and now suddenly he was asking to hang out with you alone.
"I told you, you look great and this was a fantastic idea. He wanted to spend time with you." That was the part you were having a hard time believing, if jeongin wanted to hang out why didn't he just ask you.
"Why didn't he just ask me? I feel like you're setting me up," You stuttered a little but before Sana even had a chance to answer you the door to a studio opened and Jeongin blushed seeing you.
"H-Hi," He stuttered out, stepping inside the room and letting you come inside. The room was darkened except for a few candles sitting on the desk where a whole picnic was set up for the two of you.
"I told you, it wasn't a set-up." Sana winked, slowly shutting the door and leaving you both alone.  
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f1goat · 6 months
Text
his teammate + lando norris x part twelve
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In which you find yourself getting closer to your brothers new teammate who's a dick.
lando norris x fem!verstappen (sister) + cursewords + smut
masterlist - playlist
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mutter, “Shit Max! You weren’t suppose to find out like this. Fuck.”
Both Lando and you are standing up now. Max is looking at the both of you. He isn’t saying anything. It makes you nervous. What if he’s mad? You’re getting stressed.
“I was going to tell you!” You continue, “but I was afraid you would get mad. So I wanted to wait until it was more certain. Sorry.”
“Blame me mate,” Lando quickly says. You turn around to him and look surprised. “Blame you for what?” You ask him confused, “You’re the one who told me we should tell Max soon. You’re not taking the blame.” 
Max keeps his silence for a while. He knows it’s a bit mean, but he enjoys this more then he should. Lando and you are both panicking in front of him. Max didn’t knew he would catch the two of you right now, but he did know it was just a bit of time before he would. To be fair, he just wanted to get Lando back to the meeting so it would be over soon. He didn’t even think about the text you send him before anymore. Rather stupid now that he thinks about it again. 
“Max, I’m really sorry,” you continue to speak, “I didn’t mean for this to happen but it did and I really don’t regret it. Lando is the sweetest guy I’ve ever met and he treats me so well.”
“I try,” Lando shrugs, “She probably still deserves better though.”
You turn to Lando, “Don’t say that.” Lando just shrugs again. You make a mental note to speak about this with Lando later. This isn’t the right moment, since Max is still standing in front of you. Your brother looks at Lando and you. You’re nervously waiting for his response. He needs to say something, right? 
“Max please say something?” You ask him, “I was going to tell you, I swear.”
“If you’re mad, then be mad at me,” Lando adds, “I know you didn’t want me to date her, but I told you I’ll never hurt her.”
Suddenly Max burst out in a salvo of laughs. He can’t hold it back anymore. He laughs when Lando and you share a confused look with each other. “Oh my god,” Max says while still laughing, “As if I didn’t realize that there was something going on between you two.”
“You’re okay with it?” You ask Max surprised.
This makes Max stop laughing. He gives you a good look. Then he turns his attention over to Lando before looking back at you. “I just realize that I haven’t even thought about that before,” Max tells you, “It was just a fact in my mind that you were dating him.” He looks at Lando again, it doesn’t happen often but Lando starts to get intimidated by his teammate. 
“You’ve changed a lot lately,” Max tells him, “and at first I thought you did it for the team, but then Kelly informed me that someone doesn’t change that much instead when it’s for a girl. Now I can only hope that she’s right and it was Y/N who you changed for instead for the team.”
“Everything is for her,” Lando is quick to tell your brother, “My first apologies in ages, the better behavior, not sleeping around anymore and everything else is for her. I’m still trying to become someone who’s worthy of your sister.”
You feel your cheeks warming up, your stomach is tightening and you don’t even know what to think at this moment. Lando his words are overwhelming you. Of course you hoped that he did some of those things for you, but you didn’t expect him to do all that for you. You look at Lando and if your brother wasn’t here you would’ve jumped onto him right now probably. Fuck. You can’t help yourself and walk a bit closer to Lando. You grab his hand and hold it tightly. 
“Can you tell me how this started?” Max asks while looking at you.
“I don’t really know,” you tell Max honestly, “I mean, we texted a bit sometimes and it’s was maybe some flirty banter sometimes. Lando texted me the night that the two of you fought, he thanked me for getting him out of trouble. Since then we texted a bit more. There didn’t really happen anything massive until a few races back.” 
“It was the race I DNF’ed because of the contact with Lewis,” Lando continues, “I uh, I could probably kill everyone in the garage at that moment.”
“I was at his side of the garage since there were some of your friends on your side, you know the ones I don’t really like?” You add.
“I was so mad that moment,” Lando tells Max, “and then I saw Y/N. I still don’t really know what happened, but I just wanted to hold her until I wasn’t mad anymore. So I asked her to and we did. That was the moment I realized it wasn’t something small that I was feeling for your sister. Then that night we went to the club, I couldn’t even last a couple minutes without her.”
“Then we had a small miscommunication because Lando asked me what was going on between us to which I said nothing,” you explain, “because I was afraid for what would happen if I agreed that there was something. Lando walked off and I searched until I found him again to tell him I lied and that there was something going on between us. And then uh, then I kissed him.”
“Wait was this the same night that I set you up with Pierre?” Max asks.
“Yeah that was like ten minutes later,” you answer.
Max lets out a laugh. “Oops,” he says.
“Fucking Pierre,” Lando mutters annoyed. It causes Max to laugh even harder.
“Sorry mate,” Max tells Lando while still laughing, “I didn’t knew at that moment.”
“But yeah, since that night we’re discovering our feelings for each other,” you tell Max, “and on my request we did it privately. I didn’t want the fans and media involved from the beginning, you were the first one on my list to tell. If it’s up to Lando everyone would have known since that evening, so you can blame me for that.”
Max simply shrugs. “I get it,” he tells you, “It’s fine that you didn’t tell me before. Don’t worry about it.”
You give your brother a hug. When you let him loose, he gives Lando a stern glance. 
“I swear to god,” Max says, “Don’t hurt her. I’ll find you.”
“I told you before mate, I’ll find myself first,” Lando replies.
“Done with the big talk?” You ask both of the boys, “I believe you both still have a meeting with Christian.”
“Fuck,” Max sighs, “That’s why I got here in the first place, come on let’s get back.”
Lando is quick to nod. He walks to Max and you. You see him coming closer to you. Softly he presses a kiss against your forehead. “I’ll see you after this meeting baby,” he tells you. 
When Max and Lando walk away, you sit down again. What a day. First the encounter with Maisie and now Max who walked in on you two. You’re glad everything went alright. In the mean time Max and Lando are still talking about you. 
“I did kinda want to ask you something now you finally know,” Lando says, “I want to make things official with Y/N. But I want to make sure that you’re alright with it since that probably means a lot to her.”
“If you changed that much for my sister, you truly deserve her,” Max tells him, “Oh don’t go to our dad with that question by the way.”
“I know,” Lando replies, “and thanks mate.”
“You know?” Max asks surprised, “She already told you?”
“Yes,” Lando states.
“Better make it official fast,” Max laughs.
+++
The night is weird. You haven’t seen Lando yet, while he texted you a couple hours ago that he was in the club as well. It’s Thursday night and the team is having a ‘team night’ before the race weekend will officially start. That’s why everyone was already here last Wednesday. Yesterday was weird, confusing and a lot for you. Max found out about Lando and you, Maisie found you and told you horrible lies - and truths ? - about Lando. That night you didn’t talk with Lando about everything what happened, you just enjoyed your night with him. The silence and the peacefulness around you. 
“Still no Lando?” Max asks you. You shake your head. 
You’re sipping from your cocktail. You start to feel a bit hazy from the drink. It’s your third one and they are hitting rather hard. Normally you don’t drink this much, but some unsettling feeling in your stomach is making you drink a lot more tonight. You don’t know when it started, but last hours you haven’t felt like yourself. You don’t even know what’s going on, but it feels like something is. You feel stressed. It causes you to take even more sips from the drink. Fuck, it’s empty. You tell Max that you’re getting another drink and head towards the bar.
When you’re ordering with the bartender you notice Pierre Gasly. You hope he doesn’t notice you, but you’re quick to realize that he already did. He’s walking closer to you. You sigh, this is just something you can’t use right now. You’re not in the right mind to act nicely to him. But still, Pierre is quick to stand next to you. He greets you happily, you greet him back as polite as you can manage. 
“I heard some rumors about you,” Pierre tells you, “about you and Lando to be specific.”
“What kind of rumors?” You ask Pierre. You don’t have the energy to care about it. Let them gossip about Lando and you, it won’t be long anymore before you will make it public. If it’s up to you, everyone can hear all about it. It’s just one tiny thing that’s missing. It’s not official. 
“Rumors that cause me to warn you about him,” Pierre says. 
You don’t even try to hide the annoyed sigh you’re letting out right now. Of course Pierre feels the need to warn you about Lando. Now you think it, this will probably happen more often. There will be a lot of people who don’t know the real Lando and who will think they need to warn you. Maybe this will be a new annoying part in your life, which will fade away with time.
“Did you know he’s still sleeping around with everyone?” Pierre asks you, “I don’t know when the thing between you two started, but he’s still with other girls. I saw him tonight with some girl as well.”
You don’t want to believe Pierre, but as soon as he says the words you have a terrible gut feeling. Could it be true? Lando should have been here hours already, but you still haven’t seen him. You don’t even know where he is. It’s not like the club is this big. Normally Lando would have found you within seconds and if he couldn’t he would have texted you. Now you’re the one who texted Lando and is waiting for a reply. Things aren’t adding up. 
“Look around yourself,” Pierre says, “if you look at the smaller bar for wine and beer, you will see him with her.” 
You can’t help yourself and look exactly in the direction that Pierre mentions. You try to focus on the people that are sitting at that bar. You close your eyes a bit more to focus on the different people. At first you don’t see Lando. It doesn’t last long before you find out the reason that you didn’t spot him directly. 
Lando is sitting on a barstool with a girl in front of him. She isn’t sitting on his lap, but she’s still closely standing by him. Way too close if it’s up to you. What’s going on? Then you see how the girl hugs Lando. You almost stand up and run over to them. Pierre his hand grabs your wrist. 
“You should give him some karma,” Pierre tells you with a smug smile, “and I can help you with that.”
You don’t know what to answer. Lando isn’t hugging with the girl anymore and she seems to be on a bit more distance then before now. But still. The alcohol makes your mind fussy and you don’t know what to do with it. Lando’s earlier movements with the girl make you jealous, but it’s more that his ignorance of your texts make you question things. It could have been fine, but why would he stay away from you tonight if the girl wasn’t a secret?
Pierre is pulling you with him. This isn’t what you want. You’re not the kind of girl who wants to jump to conclusions like this. You need to talk to Lando, but you don’t even dare after drinking this much alcohol. Why did you order those strong cocktails again? Pierre starts dancing against you. You realize how close you are to Lando and the mysterious girl. Fuck you don’t want to dance with Pierre like this. You don’t want to do something like this to get back at Lando for something you don’t even understand yet.
“Pierre let me go,” you tell Pierre when you fail to get your wrist loose from his grip, “I want to talk to Lando.”
Pierre doesn’t answer. You move your arm and try again. His hand stays firm onto your wrist. 
“Let me go,” you say again, this time even a bit mad. 
“You’re an idiot,” Pierre tells you annoyed, “Why are you going to him? Are you blind? He’s flirting with that girl and probably taking her home tonight. Did you even know about the girl that left his drivers room yesterday?”
“Girl from his drivers room?” You ask Pierre.
“Yeah, she came out all upset,” Pierre tells you, “He probably fucked her and told her to go away after that. And that sneaky bastard walked away later with you and Max.”
It takes you a bit longer to realize about what Pierre is talking. Then you realize that Pierre is talking about Maisie. There wasn’t a girl in Lando his drivers room expect for you and Maisie that day. After Maisie left, you stayed there until you left with Lando and Max.
Pierre has dropped your arm in the mean time. You take the opportunity and walk away from Pierre. Without giving it a second thought you walk towards Lando and the unknown girl. You press yourself through the drunk crowd before you reach them. Lando doesn’t see you at first, but you notice that the girl does. She sends you a confused look at first and gently tugs on Lando’s wrist to make him notice you as well. 
Lando his expression is quickly changing. You were afraid he would get confused, mad or anything negative. You’re surprised to see that Lando is showing you a big grin and stands up to walk the last bit with you. He walks until he’s standing in front of you, then he presses a kiss against your cheek. You smell the alcohol on him. It seems like you’re not the only one who drank too much tonight. 
“Hey Lan,” you greet him, “Why didn’t you respond to my messages?” You can’t help yourself and add the question.
“Babygirl,” Lando greets you with a wide grin, “I’m sorry I was busy with Layla.”
“Who’s Layla?” You ask confused.
“Ex-fling,” the girl answers before Lando can say anything else, “I’m one of the girls he always texted when he was in this country to race.”
Fuck. Maybe you should have believed Pierre.
i think the next chapter will be the last one :(
part thirteen
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ncteez · 1 year
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RELIABLE (s.c)
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― part two here
Is it weird that no man has ever given you some good head and your best friend is a bit annoyed by that? Probably not. Is it weird that he offers to eat you out after a particularly bad date? Oh yeah, for sure. You’re still gonna let him though. 
or the one where seungcheol proves to you just how good he is at giving head.
ao3 | m.list | minors dni! | kindly leave feedback and reblog, i will kiss your forehead so fucking fast if you do. 
WORDCOUNT― 3.6k
PAIRING― seungcheol x afab reader 
CONTENT― best friends to best friends that give head, humor, smut, cocky but also whiny seungcheol
OTHER CHARACTERS― mingyu as the mutual friend who wants to bang reader. 
NOTE― this is not proof read. 
smut tags under cut:: 
smut tags― pussy eating (he gets in there), masturbation in the form of humping the mattress and then into his hand, finger fucking, there isn’t any penetration or anything but like....wait for part two
~
“What?” Seungcheol says, leaning back against the couch with a groan and a smack to his own forehead.
 “Yeah, so basically he went down on me for less than a minute but expected me to, like, go long enough to ‘swallow.’” 
             Seungcheol groans louder, leaning himself forward again and swiping his drink from your coffee table to take a long and thoughtful sip. 
 “How many times is that, then?” He says between sips, glancing around the room as if he’s in deep thought. “I can’t help but think you seem to pick these kinds of guys on purpose at this point.”
             You look at him in mock pain, grabbing his drink and taking your own thoughtful sip.
 “I dunno, they always talk big game during phone sex and stuff. I figure eventually one of them will live up to it.” You drone on, internally marking your recent date’s name off of your call-back list. 
 “Be honest with me, have you ever actually gotten good head?” Seungcheol asks, letting you mindlessly drink his beverage.
             It’s not weird to be having these types of conversations with him, if at all, something would seem off if you didn’t. He’s the only person in your life that you’ve ever felt this close to. At this point, you think he’d have to chase you down with a bloody hatchet for things to be awkward. 
 “Well, I mean,” You think for a moment too long for his liking, but he gives you the space to finish your answer. “It feels good and all but it’s not like I’ve ever gotten off by it.”
 “Correction, you’ve never been given the chance to get off on it.” His dimpled smile shows, and you’re sure he’s mocking you at this point.
 “Yeah, yeah. Yada, yada. I have terrible taste in sexual partners but to be fair, it’s not like the pool is that big to choose from.”
             He nods in agreement, humming as if to end the conversation and still watching you sip at his drink.
 “Would you be opposed to–” He pauses, making eye contact with you. “Y’know, I could do it for you.”
             You pause, nearly dropping his drink out of your hand but thankfully your grip actually tightens on it instead. You swallow as you look at him, searching his face to see if this is some kind of joke.
 “Seung-fucking-cheol,” You deadpan, sitting his cup back down on your coffee table and leaning toward him, staring him down. “You’d really do that, for me?”
             You bat your eyelashes at him, mostly playing it off as a half-joke just to see if he’s fucking with you or not. 
 “How else are you gonna experience it?” 
             You stare him down harder.
 “You say that like you’re some sort of pussy-eating-god,” You narrow your eyes. “Are you?”
             He shrugs casually with his little smile, leaning back on your couch and stretching his arms out. One of his hands lands behind your shoulder and you lean into it. 
 “I’d let you be the judge of that if you’re up for it.”
             Finally, you decide that he’s definitely not joking and you’re definitely gonna do it because like, that’s your best friend. Experiencing your firsts with him comes almost as naturally as walking. You had your first kiss with him, albeit it was a dare. You experienced your first concert with him, your first break up, your first failed exam, and even your first legal drink in a club. What’s so bad about letting him eat you out?
 “Right now?” You ask, quirking your brow and tilting your head.
 “Now, tomorrow, next week. Whenever.” He runs his hands through his hair as he says it and only now are you starting to really tune into his features that you’ve already found handsome.
             Day after day you’ve seen him on this couch and in other states of dress without really thinking twice about how his lips would feel on you (despite that short first kiss). You’ve seen him kissing all up on other people, you’ve seen him in the club with wet lips from alcohol, you’ve seen him all messy and eating spaghetti at his parent’s house– but for some reason, his lips seem different now. His sleepy eyes seem different, his messy hair seems like something that should be tugged on, his fucking jawline– 
 “Why’re you staring at me like that?” He looks at you up and down as if he’s judging. “You wanna go right now?”
             You nod slowly, letting the traces of any lusty thoughts you’ve had about him in your life come to the front in waves. Then you quickly shake your head.
 “Wait, no,” You roll your eyes more at yourself than him. “I haven’t showered since my date, maybe I should, uh…”
 “Ew.” He comments, that same dopey smile with the same stupid sarcasm as usual. 
 “It was only like, two hours ago, asshole.” You swipe his head as you go to stand up. “I’m gonna go shower so you’re not practically making out with him.”
             He wiggles his eyebrows before fake gagging at you, feeling not a hint of nervousness.
 ~
             Excitement. That’s what you feel. Not because it’s Seungcheol, well, maybe a little bit because you wanna see what his tongue is all about but more so because you’re about to get some presumably good, head.
             You shower thoughtfully, cleaning every part of your body and feeling little goosebumps rise and fall with each sensation of your air conditioning snaking its way past your shower doors. When you get out of the shower, you lotion your body so you’re all nice and soft and brush your teeth just in case things go a little further. You’re not expecting it to, but y’know, nothing wrong with having fun if it comes to it. 
             After all, he’s doing you a favor by going down on you, the least you can do is smell good, be soft, and totally prepared for if he were to suggest more, right? Right. Anyway, you’re all showered up and opt to just let your hair do its own thing as you throw on your shirt and shorts. You ignore the panties at this point, because why not?
             When you get back to the living room, Seungcheol isn’t there. Naturally, you check your bedroom and there he is, still his normal self and lounging against your headboard while flipping through videos on his phone. 
 “And she’s back,” he comments, reaching a hand out as if to invite you to your own bed. “Change your mind yet?”
 “Not even for a second,” you smile as you take a spot in front of him, your entire body facing him as you pull your knees up and lay your chin against your arms. “Have you?”
             He seems to fall into a more serious tone now, locking his phone and flicking his eyes up to look at you, scanning your legs in the shorts. 
 “No,” he chokes back, shocked to see straight between the gap of your shorts and actually lay eyes on the point of this whole situation for the first time. “and you’re not wearing anything under those shorts.”
             You watch his face and the way it turns from your best friend into something you’ve seen time and time again from men you’ve gone home with. It’s sexy on him though, for some reason.
 “Figured I’d save you the trouble?”
             He smiles, now moving himself toward you and reaching a hand behind you to cradle your head. 
 “Lay back,” he says softly, in a voice you’ve only heard a few times from him, “you could have left the shorts off too.” He adds with an even softer laugh.
             For some reason, it makes you feel shy. His hand guiding you to lay back all while grabbing the pillow from behind him and placing it under your head so that you’re nice and comfortable.  You watch him look at you and honestly, it’s in a way you can’t remember him ever looking at you before. If this is how he looks at other women, you may be a little jealous. 
 “You’re being weird.” You say offhandedly, looking away from him and trying to keep the heat from flushing to your cheeks. 
 “You’re letting me eat you out, how am I being weird?” He leans up from you, putting two hands on your knees but still waiting for your eyes to meet his again. “You want me to act like the other dudes? Dip my tongue in then wrap it up?”
             You groan, rolling your eyes back to him and analyzing the way his big hands drape over your knees. 
 “Okay, fair.” You admit defeat, feeling his warm palms move down the back of your thighs and to your ass. 
 “Lift up,” He says, quickly pulling the shorts off of you when you do as he asks. “Oh, Damn.”
             He stares directly between your legs, bracing his hands back at your knees and spreading your legs a bit. He angles his head in different ways to really look at you, seemingly enamored with your pussy as a whole. 
 “Look who’s staring now.” You chuckle, instinctively hiding your face from him despite knowing he isn’t looking up at you.
 “Yeah, I am,” he admits, now adjusting himself on the bed to lay down, his head easily slotting between your legs as he rests his chin on your lower belly and looks up at you. “You can pull my hair or do whatever, I’m just gonna start. Tell me if it’s something you don’t like.”
             As normal as this isn’t, he’s speaking similar to when the two of you had taken on projects before. He typically takes the lead but offers you control more often than not. All you can do is  nod at him, trying to comprehend that it’s your best friend’s head between your legs right now.
             When he pulls his head back up with one last nod of confirmation, the first thing you feel is his fingers slipping up your core, the other braced on your thigh and holding your legs open. You release a short sigh of relief at the feeling and he instantly smirks at it. 
 “I haven’t even started yet,” He whispers, glancing up at you before fixing his eyes back on the expanse of your pussy. He uses his ring and pointer finger to spread your lips open, and the middle finger to rub against your hole only for a brief moment before he licks his lips and releases his own sigh of relief. “Not that you’d know this but, Mingyu would be so jealous right now.”
             You look down at him, watching his eyes meet your before he lets his tongue hang from his mouth and he’s replacing his middle finger with the muscle. You swallow your words, holding your breath at feeling his warm and wet tongue tracing against each of your lips before moving inward and flattening out to  lick one long and languid stipe up your core until meeting your clit. 
             He wraps his lips around it, sucking once, hard, before releasing it and pulling back to look at you.
 “This okay?”
             Goddamn him for making you have to talk right now. You’re still trying to comprehend the fact that he said Mingyu, fucking Mingyu of all people would be jealous that he’s doing this right now? That’s definitely a question for later, because yeah, it’s fucking okay. 
             You nod to him, throwing your arm over your eyes and instinctively bucking your hips up towards his hovering mouth. 
 “Oh, that was hot,” He compliments, watching the way you hide your face before he pulls his eyes back down and uses his fingers to spread your pussy open wider, enough to see your hole pulsate when he dips down to blow against it, “I can see how wet you’re getting, Is it because of me or is it just because you’re getting your pussy played with?”
             You half groan half moan at that, mostly because hearing these words from him is something that feels entirely too sexual. As if he hasn’t already tasted you, as if you’re not spread out by his fingers right now. You ignore his words, yet, your brain holds onto them with tight knuckles and your hips buck toward him again.
 “Not a talker, got it.” He notes, watching your hips chase his breath. 
             He watches for much longer than you’d like for him to, and you’re about to lift up and accuse him of being just like the other guys but he shuts your thoughts off so fucking fast when you feel his lips on you again. 
             His tongue explores every part of your core, licking and sucking against areas you didn’t even know would feel good until his mouth lands against your clit again. This time, you can’t help it, you grind up and he hums at it as he braces your legs open just enough to skew his head and move his tongue back down. 
             Unsure of if you’d let him, he tries anyway. He stiffens his tongue, circling your hole before pressing just a bit, giving you just enough pressure that you’d be the one to finish the attempt by reaching down with a soft moan and lacing your fingers in his hair as you press yourself harder against him. 
             He can taste how wet you are, truly taste it now as he stretches your hole as much as he can with his tongue with a groan of his own. It’s probably embarrassing, considering you don’t even hold your breath or moan this much during actual sex with other people, but god. 
             Both of you are moaning now as you hold his head in place and grind your hips harder than you think you are, but he loves it. Honestly, to the point that he figures he can use his fingers now too considering you let him penetrate you with his tongue. 
             The taste of you alone has him in heaven, cursing any man who didn’t take advantage of your pussy against their mouth. He’s a bit sad when he easily slips one finger into you and pulls his tongue away, taking a breath and looking at you. 
             You’re practically riding his finger, shamelessly chasing the small amount of pleasure he can offer in terms of just head and fingering. He can imagine how hot you’d be without that shirt on, with your legs around his hips, with your mouth wrapped around him. You look blissed out, soaking his finger and keeping your hand in his hair even as he circles your clit again.
             The moment of your hips constantly humping against him is enough, and he can’t help but groan each time you do, he can’t fucking help but grind his own hips forward when you grind against him. His cock is so painfully hard at the image of you right now, at the taste of you, that all he can do is chase the mattress beneath him. Tensing his muscles and moaning against your clit shamelessly at the jolts of pleasure he gets from it. 
             He slips another finger in with ease, feeling how much wetter you’ve gotten and the way the slide is filthy and audible. You groan out at that too, feeling his tongue flick relentlessly against your clit and only now moving your free hand from your face and trailing to your stomach. 
             You can’t even talk, so you don’t. You lift your shirt up until you can at least rub against your nipples, just to heighten the pleasure your best friend is so graciously giving you.
             His eyes watch you do that, a bit annoyed that the shirt is still covering you despite your hand clearly under it doing something to your tits. He’s thinking with his cock, so fucking aroused that he doesn’t think twice when he aggressively lifts your shirt up to your chin and watches the way your fingers poke and prod at the erect nipple there. 
             His eyes roll back with a groan and his hips fuck harder against the mattress at that. His fingers speed up and now he’s focused. You feel him all over you from the waist down, his tongue flicking and lips sucking against your swollen clit, his fingers relentlessly fucking into you, your fingers heightening those sensations by playing with your own tits– then, oh, then you notice. 
             Seungcheol, you’re best fucking friend, is so goddamn horny that he’s dry humping against your bed and whining out moans against your clit. Probably to avoid asking for more, to avoid making you feel obligated to get him off too, to avoid anything you may not want or consent to. And that’s why he’s your best friend.
             It doesn’t take long after that, your hips still as you watch him get himself off all while getting you off, and you find your orgasm bubbling up much faster than if you’d have done this with anyone else. 
 “Cheol, you’re fucking whining,” You groan, rolling your hips up in a stutter. 
             He was almost gonna stop, because yeah, he was. Gasping for air but only tasting you, only swallowing up the moans you give to him, only inhaling the dull scent of the fruity soap you used when you showered. But, you moan louder after you say that. He suspects you must like it, so he continues, shamefully reaching one of his hands between himself and the bed and quickly shoving it down his pants, circling around his cock and continuing to fuck into it. 
             If he thinks hard enough, you’re what he’s fucking right now, and technically, he is, with his fingers and mouth at least. When your hips stutter more, he fucks harder against his hand and holds his fingers inside of you as deep as he can get them. There, he sucks against your clit until you’re the one whining. 
             You release against him in a breathy whine, squeezing his head between your thighs to where he nearly misses you breathe out strings of praises toward him. But he hears them. He definitely heard you say that he looks sexy with your hand in his hair, and god, did he ride off of the fact that you encouraged him to get off with you. Regardless of if you knew if he could or not, regardless of if you knew his hand was providing just enough pleasure for him to do just that. 
             There, as your orgasm subsides with his tongue still flicking your sensitive clit, you watch him writhe his hips against your mattress, his eyes slammed shut, and his breath coming out in pornographic moans. So, this is what Seungcheol looks like when he comes. It’s desperate, but somehow, it feels passionate too.
              You’re all dazed now, pussy pulsing and tingling from the loss of his lips and fingers once he pulls back and lays against your bed with a lazy smile. His pants are uncomfortable, but he doesn’t mind as he wipes his hand across his shirt and watches the way you catch your breath. 
 “So,” He tries to say, but stops to clear his throat. “I guess that’s what it’s supposed to be like when a guy actually likes to give head.”
             You’re shy. You’re never fucking shy, especially towards Seungcheol, but god. 
 “Um, yeah,” you sigh out, lifting from the bed and looking back at him. “Or maybe that’s just what it’s supposed to be like when you give head.” 
             You only say than because, for some reason, you genuinely don’t think another man would ever eat you out to that level again. 
             He nods in admittance, reminding himself that his pants are fucking nasty right now. So, he goes to stand up and extends a hand out to you. 
 “Let’s go clean up.” 
             You shake your head, not at all wanting to move from this bed. He nods again, pulling your shirt back down for you and leaning down to look at you. 
 “I’m gonna bring you something to clean up with, and I’m gonna shower.”
             You smile at him, a bit dazed as you make yourself comfortable on your messy sheets and think hard about the fact that this dimpled motherfucker really never told you how good he was at giving head? rude.
 ~
             Seungcheol looks all proud of himself when he comes back to your room and cuddles into bed with you much like he always has. 
 “I didn’t expect to sleep over, I have work in the morning.” He whispers in a rasp against your back, curling around you like the perfect big spoon. 
             You’re quick to turn on his work alarm on your phone, like you always do when he crashes during weeknights. Because, what best friend doesn’t have alarms set for each other? 
             After a few more long moments of silence, you try to talk. Mostly because your brain is swimming with the fact that, like, you’re not sure but it’s just, wow. 
 “Hey, um,”
 “Hmm?” He hums out in a sleep-heavy voice.
 “Did you actually enjoy doing that for me?”
 “Are you fucking kidding me? I literally came in my pants.” His sudden louder voice causes you to jump, but you relax back into his grasp. 
 “Oh,” You think hard. “Is this gonna change stuff between us?”
 “Probably, but not in like, a bad way. More like in the can-i-eat-you-out-all-the-time-way.” He responds with confidence, shifting a bit and hugging you closer to him. 
             You smile.
 “ And don’t tell other dudes my secrets.”
 “I won't.”
             Seungcheol has his own smile from behind you, wondering if he really is just that good at eating pussy. The truth is, he’s done it a handful of times but he was just really really interested in doing it for you. Don’t ask him why, it was just a thought. 
~
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― part two here
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silksongeveryday · 8 months
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Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 200!!!
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(huge thanks to this person for the art suggestion!! <3)
I genuinely can’t believe that I’ve made it to 200 days, it’s truly been wild how time flies by like that and the amount of doodles I’ve made during that time. Over 200 doodles (217 to be exact if we’re counting double pictures/extra doodles) have been made over the past 200 days. :0
And thank you all so much for the love and support! Not only have we reached 200 days but also 1400+ followers about a week ago! <3
But, having said that I’d like to make a few announcements—some good, some not so great—about a few things regarding the blog, myself, and other stuff.
Putting it all under the cut so the post isn’t long if you’d like to know more
______________________________
Announcements!
My pfp!
1.) I’ll be changing my pfp again!! I’ve officially decided that after every 100 days or so I’ll change up the pfp so it’s up to date with my doodle style (assuming it changed at all lol), but generally it’ll look relatively the same as the last!
Possibly more admins?
2.) As of right now I’m looking into the idea/possibility of having a second (maybe third?) person help me with daily doodles! As much as I’d like to keep doodling everyday there are some days that it can be tough or some situation might be happening. (i.e. recently got injured)
See, the problem is I don’t exactly have a proper way of trying this out??? My idea was to maybe do this through dms or more preferably Google Forms. I also don’t really know what form of communication afterward would be best either, suggestions to help me work this out would be great! (as you can tell I’m not very good at this stuff lol)
Commissions!
3.) After much consideration and a lot of thought, I’ve decided that in the near future, I’ll be opening commissions again for the first time in years. I don’t have everything set up quite yet, but expect more info in the near future!
About requests:
4.) You may have noticed recently that I haven’t been doing as many doodle requests recently. Sure, there’s usually quite a few in a row at once but you may have noticed I’ve also been doing “non-requested” doodles aka ones that I just do on my own.
Expect this to become a very normal thing going forward. I probably won’t be doing as many requests as before because frankly with the amount of requests I get daily when it’s open is a lot to handle sometimes. Does this mean requests will be stopped entirely? No, I’ll still do some occasionally, but not as much as I have in the past.
Also I’ll likely be doing strictly anonymous requests.
About Burnout:
5.) Alright let’s address the elephant in the room.
There have been quite a few instances where people have wondered if I would ever have burnout and have occasionally joked about “dying” from said burnout because “Silksong will never release, you’ll be doing this forever” etc etc.
In the past I’ve been fine, motivation has been great, but recently I’ve noticed it a little bit.
Unfortunately life has its own plans so it can be a little hard for me to make a doodle that day, expecially recently since I’ve been experiencing personal/medical issues. It’s part of the reason I’m hoping to get a second (maybe third) person to help me do daily doodles so I can take a little bit of the load off my shoulders.
So what does this mean for this blog?
Not much right now. But in the future, there may be some changes. My current plan is to keep going on daily doodles/posts for the length of a standard year, so roughly 365 days. After that, if things in personal life keep up the way they have, I may have to stop daily doodles and instead will post only if I have time. That likely means doodles every other day or every three days or something. At the very least I’ll still post a doodle once a week.
Not to worry though! I’ll still try my best even after I reach day 365 :)
I’ll discuss how things work a little more on my main @miizori later, but that’s as much as I can think to explain rn.
———————————————
Just a few more things I wanted to say!
This community has been so cool to interact with, so much tamer than some others I’ve been apart of in the past. I’m genuinely thankful for how much support and how nice everyone has been. I truly didn’t expect to get this far, I was fully expecting to have stopped like 10 doodles in lol. I especially love to see all your comments in the tags and people sharing their art. You’re all so cool :)))
I have a dtiys from back when I reached 300 followers that’s still available if you’re feeling up to it!
Also my main (again, @miizori) is where I make updates on doodle stuff, regular art stuff and so on if you’re interested at all in that lol
I think that’s all that I can remember wanting to say, so thanks!! I look forward to more doodles for you all :)
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transmascissues · 9 months
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i just got back from my first ever gynecological exam and somehow, despite the doctor being really nice and way more knowledgeable about trans bodies than i was expecting, it still ended up being incredibly upsetting and honestly probably mildly traumatizing. i’m sure it’s no secret to anyone following me that going to the gynecologist is a uniquely shitty experience for a lot of trans guys and i knew that but i really was not prepared for that.
first of all, everything you read says that the pelvic exam and pap smear shouldn’t hurt even if they’re super uncomfortable, but let me tell you, that shit fucking hurt. like, i have a pretty high pain tolerance and usually even when something does hurt i don’t show it very much, but that was maybe the most painful thing i’ve ever had a doctor do to me and it showed. to be fair, i’ve never had good luck with things like that — i couldn’t even use tampons back when i had a period because the one time i did, taking it out was really painful — and i’m on t now so i’m sure that makes things even harder and i was prepared for it to hurt, but i really wasn’t ready for just bad it was. it’s been an hour since the exam finished and there’s still some pain so, yeah, so much for “it’s just uncomfortable, not painful”.
(and a side note: when it did hurt, the doctor told me to relax my muscles because the tension makes it hurt more. what they didn’t seem to realize is that if your brain and body are collectively rejecting the presence of something inside you, making those muscles relax is a fucking herculean task and i for one was not in any way capable of it so it just…kept getting more painful.)
i also was never informed ahead of time of what a pelvic exam actually entails; i had assumed it was a more general external checkup, and that the pap smear was the only really invasive part. as it turns out, i was very wrong, and “pelvic exam” actually means the doctor sticks their finger up you to feel around. she asked me if i was comfortable getting the exam because it was so obvious that the pap smear didn’t go well, but i had no clue what i was saying yes to and it was a total surprise for me when there was something inside me again. and she knew it was my first time, so she had no reason to assume i knew that the exam would be like. by the time i realized i absolutely should not have said yes to it, i was too late and it was already happening. it really feels like common sense that if you’re going to be giving someone what basically amounts to a professional fingering, you should probably make it clear that that’s what’s about to happen, but i guess that doctor would disagree.
and of course, the whole time i was also being misgendered. the doctor used the right name for me, but the other staff didn’t and everything about it was so excessively gendered (i’m pretty sure the appointment i had was literally called a “women’s wellness visit” on the same sheet that had trans man and nonbinary as gender options). not to mention, when i told them i’m getting top surgery and have the exact date set, the nurse made a comment to like“well aren’t you one of the lucky ones,” which really felt like it had “i think trans guys have a super easy time getting surgeries that cis women have to fight for” energy.
and the irony of all this definitely isn’t lost on me — i just did a project this past semester about how trans guys are fucked over by reproductive healthcare practices so a lot of us just never go, and now i got some firsthand experience in exactly why so many of us just say “no fucking way”.
i just want to put this out there for anyone who hasn’t done it before because i think this would have been a lot less awful for me if someone had just told me “yeah, it might hurt way more than you think, and also that thing they call a pelvic exam is actually an internal exam.” i thought i was prepared and i totally wasn’t, so hopefully this will reach someone else who will be better off knowing all of this.
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kingdumkum · 11 months
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WHERE THE RIVER MEETS THE SEA
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this has been a long, long time coming. hopefully it’ll live up to the obscenely high expectations i’ve set. agree or disagree, please reblog/comment/send an anon with your thoughts--but make sure you read the RULES of interaction first.
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summary: your date stood you up… again. Don’t worry, though, Baji will be there to pick up the pieces, like he always is. The only question… what will you do when you find out his secret? wc: 15k (we don't talk about it)
cw: virgin fem afab!reader x virgin!Baji, a lil itty bitty baby bit of blood, somewhat public (initially), bc why not, marking, creampie, Confessions galore, somewhat gendered pet names (princess, babe, sweetheart), actually gendered pet names (one handful of "good girl," "pretty girl," and "my girl"), subtle yandere themes but not to the extent a DC label is needed—correct me if I’m wrong though—be nice if I missed something, this is my first time :) way too many words but c’est la vie such is the way.
dedication: Storm, my friend, your support and advice has made me a better writer. Without you, this would probably still be sitting in my drafts, collecting dust and every hateful thought I’ve ever had about my writing. Thank you for being you and all of your aid in getting this to where it is. 💛
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Your coffee’s cold when you give up. Well—second coffee, to be precise; the first you’d ordered after Tadashi said he was a few minutes away. That one had grown cold too, but the barista, taking pity, had given you a piping hot refill—for free.
It feels like an insult when she offers you a third.
An hour and a half has passed since Tadashi said he’d be there, and… well, you were still kinda hoping he might show up. But when the manager approaches with a tight-lipped smile, not-so-kindly pointing at their hours plastered ever so neatly on the glass door and indicating they’re just a few minutes to closing, your hope ebbs entirely.
The heat in your cheeks could’ve rewarmed your cup—but not one to cause a scene, you offer a tight-lip smile of your own and apologize. You don’t explain that you were waiting for someone; the pitying look in the barista’s eye as she mouths sorry and slides the unwanted third cup your way says they know.
You slip into the bathroom, wondering how in the world you could be so stupid— again. This was your third first date in three months… and the third time in three months that you’ve been stood up. 
It hurts more when you check your phone. Two new messages from Emma, asking how it’s going and if you want to grab dinner to dish; one from Draken, asking if you can bring back a vanilla frappe and a triple dark roast espresso with two pumps of caramel; one from Baji, saying he might be late to pick you up, but he’d be there, and could you get him an order of whatever you’re having?
Nothing from Tadashi.
You don’t respond, instead letting your phone rest against the mirror while you stare at your reflection and try, desperately, to convince yourself it isn’t your fault.
Everything had been going great—you thought. You thought he really liked you, that he was excited to get to know you, and that this one, this one for sure would show up. You made jokes that he found funny, you were just the right amount of flirty, and you knew—thought—hoped—the picture you’d sent of your outfit (a simple sundress that accentuated your best features and wedges that made your legs seem endless) was enticing enough that he’d want to see it in person.
But here you are. Crying in the bathroom of a cafe you’ll never be able to return to, wondering how you’re going to explain to your friends that you got stood up.
Again.
Your phone starts to buzz. With a deep breath, you wipe off your dripping mascara. You force yourself to smile at the hollow reflection staring back at you, then answer with an overly-cheerful, “what’s up?”
“Kenny’s worried.” Baji’s familiar drawl echos, making the space seem even smaller. “I said he was being too overprotective, but—well, you know how he is. Said it’s his duty or some shit to make sure you’re okay. He tried to come down here himself, wanted to meet the guy trying to woo you—can you believe that? He actually said woo—“
“What do you want?” you interrupt. Too harsh, you realize when Baji doesn’t answer. “It’s just—I’m kinda in the middle of something, you know?” 
Baji takes a moment, then forces a laugh. “Yeah, yeah, the little princess’s got a date, we know. God, they wouldn’t let it go. You should be thanking me, ya know, I’m the only reason they’re not all crashing—”
“Baji.”
The line falls quiet. Then, softly, “where are you, y/n?”
You frown and start searching for your mascara. “At the coffee shop. Why, where are you?”
Another pause. This one heavier. With the phone tucked to one ear, you slowly swipe the wand over your lashes. It’s clumpier than you usually like, but it’s better than nothing—
“I’m outside.”
Fuck.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he echoes. You mouth another fuck, heart plummeting, then start reapplying your mascara. More carefully, now that you’re out of time. “I, uh—I’ve been here. A while.”
“Oh… yeah?” you question, teeth starting to grind. “How long’s a while?”
Baji clears his throat. “Long enough. You gonna come out, or are ya gonna make me come in?”
Mascara gets tossed in your purse, gloss comes out. “You’re not exactly welcome in the ladies room, Baji.”
You can picture the dangerous curl in his smile when he replies, “not without an invitation, babe—why, you asking?”
Your laugh isn’t completely real, but not unnatural, either. You hover the gloss over your lips, and for a moment, you imagine what it’d be like. To sneak someone into the bathroom, kissing until your lips start to bruise, his hands playing with the hem of your dress, his lips marking your skin, his voice whispering your name…
You shake the thought away. There’s no point in getting your heart broken twice in one day.
“Three’s a bit of a crowd for a single stall,” you deflect. “Be out in a minute.”
Baji hums. Your gloss feels too thick, but you don’t take it off. You fluff your hair again, placing it the way you like, turning your necklace so the clasp faces the right way, lips smacking together once, twice, three times—
By the time you run out of things to do, you think you’re ready. You pick up your purse and give yourself a final once-over. Pretty, you think. Doesn’t look like you spent the last seven minutes sobbing in a public restroom.
When you exit, Baji’s still on the line, but he doesn’t hang up. You know, because the teasing, “well shit, babe, if I had known you’d worn that, I would’ve come two hours ago,” echoes; once from your phone, and the other from the man himself, standing right in front of you.
You laugh, and this one isn’t forced at all.
Baji’s smile gleams in the evening sun. A low wolf-whistle causes your face to warm pleasantly—the way it should have, when you met Tadashi. You take Baji’s extended hand, not flinching when his callouses rub against your soft palms. 
You’re used to their roughness. Much like the others, Baji’s always been a hands-on friend (and fighter), so over the years, you’ve gotten used to the various bumps, cuts, and jagged edges, to the extent that the only hands that’ve ever felt comfortable have been those rough ones, soft only for you. 
Baji spins you, over-exaggerating the way he checks you out. “Sweetheart, you’re going to stop traffic looking like that.”
“Oh, please,” you deny, but your smile hasn’t been this genuine all day. “Laying it on a little thick, Baj.”
“Only the realest truth for the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen,” is his sly reply, accompanied by a slyer wink. It’s his usual charm, but you’re oblivious to his sincerity, the way you always are. Baji pulls you into a tight hug and closes his eyes, and for a moment, he allows himself to pretend this was your intention all along; to wind up in his arms, with his compliments, by his side—the way it always seems to go after every failed date.
But you never say as much, and you always seem so genuinely excited for the next one that he’s never going to ask. Instead, he’ll take these moments. The ones where you turn to him for comfort, where he gets to hold you, your knight-in-shining-armor, and do all that he can to make everything better.
He’s so close that you almost miss his muffled whisper of, “fucking—stupid bastard. Doesn’t know what he’s missed.”
Your smile slips. Your thumb rubs against the back of his knuckles, familiarly cracked with scabs that never seem to heal. These are fresh, though; you can tell by how his hand darts to the back of his neck, preventing you from looking too closely. 
“Been up to no good?” you question with a raised brow.
“‘Course I have,” he responds easily, “you’ve been busy.”
Baji won’t meet your gaze. ‘If only you knew,’ he thinks—but he’ll never say it. Not that. Not to you. He shrugs off his black leather jacket and drapes it over your shoulders, fingertips lingering as he straightens the collar. His dark eyes flick to yours, a coy smirk almost hiding his guilt as he hopes beyond all hope you don’t see through him.
You almost do.
Not enough to call him out on it, though, so instead, you roll your eyes—but you can’t deny how this—him—is making everything better. He picks up the helmet he only brings when he’s driving you and puts it on for you, visor up so he can brush the hair out of your eyes. Baji offers a comforting smile, then juts his chin to his bike. “Wanna ride?”
The answer, of course, is yes; for him, it will always be yes.
Silently, you climb on and wrap your hands around him, chin tucking into his shoulder as if you were made to be there. He revs and pulls off, seamlessly weaving in and out of traffic. Your eyes close. The wind whips in your hair, and the familiar scent of nicotine, mint, and Baji’s crisp aftershave envelopes you. For a moment, you feel like everything’ll be okay. Your heart might hurt now, but after an evening with him, it’ll all be okay.
That’s the power of Keisuke Baji, though; the sense of embarking on your greatest adventure but feeling like being home, all at once.
It’s nearly sunset when he stops. Pulls up to the river, kicks the bike stand, then grabs your waist to lift you off the seat.
“I can do that,” you say, even as you let him lift you.
“More fun when I do,” he replies with an easy grin. Your feet hit the ground, but Baji keeps one hand around your waist. He takes off the helmet with the other and laughs when your hair flops out. Hurriedly you go to smooth it, but Baji catches your wrist after setting the helmet down. “You don’t have to do that. Not with me.”
He cages you between the bike and his hips with just a few inches of space—and suddenly, your heart starts to race. When did he get this close? How hadn’t you noticed the way his leg slid between yours? Why isn’t he taking his hand away? Why can’t you breathe?
Baji’s dark eyes dart between yours, then down to your lips, and for a second, for a split second, you think he’s about to kiss you—
“Not like anything can make it better now,” he smirks, and if it weren’t for how his fingers were locked in yours, you would’ve slapped him.
“Asshole.” 
Baji laughs, and you swear the moon shines a little brighter. You’re grateful that he turns to check out the area before he can see just how much of an impact his laugh has on you—though you don’t doubt that he knows. He’s Baji, after all, and you’re not blind (or deaf). He’s handsome, witty, flirty with anything that moves—and that laugh of his could bring even the tides to a standstill.
“Coast’s clear,” he says, looking back at you, a lazy smirk curling his features. It shouldn’t be a surprise, hardly any ever comes this far south of the city—but a few weeks ago, you’d accidentally stumbled upon a couple who were… not expecting company, to put it delicately, and ever since, Baji had been extra cautious to make sure it was just the two of you before getting settled.
He takes a few steps backwards, leading you to your spot; a grassy knoll that overlooks the river as it feeds into the darkened sea. The moon slowly rises over rolling waves while the sun, more a memory, sets over the river’s bend. It’s a secret, sacred place for the two of you, where heartache and daydreams don’t exist; only the moon, the tides, and each other.
Your stomach flips but you can’t tell why; this is exactly what happens every time you come here, from the way he helps you off the bike to how he stops you from picking at your appearance. The only difference is the way his hand is still wrapped in yours. 
You wonder if Tadashi’s would have been this warm. 
But Tadashi isn’t here—Baji is, and it’s Baji’s warm hands that always make things better. So you let him keep his hand in yours, even though you’re not sure you should, and you let him gently tug you along when you don’t move fast enough. Let him take his time in taking his jacket back, in spreading it on the grass before waiting for you to sit. You even let him settle next to you, instinctively leaning into the familiar comfort of his body and for a minute, you wonder how you ever could’ve wanted your day to end different.
Then Baji meets your gaze, smiles that sweet, genuinely kind half smile that he only shares with you, and you remember: Baji is your friend—and no matter how many heartaches he heals, that’s all he’ll ever be.
You can’t remember when things got so complicated.
When it was just you and Kenny, you’d sneak up to the roof of the brothel and watch the sun dip behind the buildings and talk about how one day, you’d get a house that was that color pink, and it’d be on the far side of Japan where you could watch the sunset from your porch and life would be good. The sunset was the only dream you’d ever need, and it would be good.
Then Mikey started coming. More often than not he’d fall asleep before the sun did, and on the days he didn’t—the roof felt too… small. The dreams, too… little. They evolved, from a porch where you could watch the sunset to a skyline that never sleeps.
Dreams change, and that’s okay… but a part of you aches for the time when the sunset felt like enough—when the family you had, the brothers you’d found and the friends you’d made—was enough. You still had the sunset, but rarely. More often than not, you were by yourself up there, or stuck to Kenny’s side somewhere out there, or brushing against Baji’s shoulder down here.
So these days, you prefer to watch the moon rise. There’s more comfort in a light to guide you through the night, rather than watching your dreams disappear with the day.
And you do, the way you do every time you’re stood up or don’t feel—enough. You sit beside Baji with the full moon crawling towards you, staring at the conjunction of the river and the sea, and focus on how you’re going to get through this.
Baji cut his hair since the last date—the last time you’d been stood up, you correct. Still long, but now only to the edge of his jaw, not mid-back like you were used to. The light is bright behind him, bringing out the warm undertones in his onyx hair. You can make out the scab on his cheek from a bar fight a few weeks ago; the scar on his nose from when Mikey split it the first time they fought; the tender bruise along his jaw that looks too new to have told you the story yet.
Instinctively, you reach for it… then chicken out, instead teasing the edge of his hair. You’re left wondering if an angel’s wings would be as soft.
Baji glances at you from the corner of his eye. “You don’t like it?”
“What? I didn’t say that.” Your hand falls back to your lap, eyes quick to follow. The light behind him is too bright—too blinding. Too much like a halo. It’s impossible to hide the truth from an angel, and you know you don’t have the right words to convey just how beautiful you find him. “Just… gonna take some getting used to. I don’t think you’ve ever had it this short.”
He scoffs. “Maybe at birth.”
The idea of baby Baji flashes through your mind; sweet, chubby cheeks, little fists flailing at the world. A tuft of hair, dark as his and long already, but when he opens his eyes, they’re yours—
“Why’d you cut it?” your voice is steadier than you expect. It does nothing to change your thoughts, especially when Baji’s slender fingers start pulling at grass, just the way a baby grasps what's in front of him.
He stares straight ahead, letting one hand splay by your lower back as he watches the green blades dance in the wind. “Figured it was time for a change.”
You hmm in acknowledgement, brain too traitorous to come up with anything other than, ‘I bet you were a cute baby’ or ‘you look handsome either way’ or, worst of all, ‘why would you ever want to change?’
He probably meant nothing by it. Baji’s as flexible as they come; sets his own hours at the shop, varies what time he wakes or goes to bed, never eats the same thing too many times in a row… there’s not much permanency in his life as it is, so it sticks with you that he still wants something different.
If he thinks you’re being weird, he doesn’t say so. He waits for you to speak, like always, and like always, you find yourself loving him a little more for it. Baji’s so—quick; to judge, to speak, to fight… but in these moments, when it’s the two of you and the moon and no one else, he’s not. He’s slow; slow to speak, slow to touch, slow to pull away…
Slow to make you wonder why you keep wasting time with boys who don’t deserve it when he might be enough.
The silence becomes too much; too easy to drown in. Too tempting to fill with all the wrong things.
“What happened to your jaw?” is the best you come up with.
It’s no surprise when he answers, “got into a fight,” but how he says it… how he immediately ducks his head and covers the darkening bruise with a broad palm, as if he’d forgotten all about it and wished you would, too… that makes you pause.
One tenet of your relationship is that you don’t lie to each other. There are often times you wish he would, like when Chifuyu teases him about the pretty girl at the pet shop who came back and asked for the number of the flirty hunk who sold her a dog collar and Baji admits she was pretty cute and he’ll take her to drinks tomorrow night, or when Kazutora reminds Baji that he promised to go on a double date with the twins they met clubbing so no, he can’t take a look at that leaky pipe in your bathroom—but you’d never say that. Not when he could, so easily, call you out for keeping your own.
So when he goes out of his way to not have to tell you the truth, you know better than to push.
“Did it hurt?”
Baji looks to you with a cocky smile. “You should see the other guy.” You snort. Baji knocks his shoulder into yours. “I’m good, really. Just… had some business, s’all.”
It’s supposed to be comforting, but it’s not. It only flares your curiosity… and honestly? Your annoyance. “I hadn’t realized a pet shop needed such security.”
Baji barks out a laugh. “I mean, you’ve seen how crazy some people get about their pets, ‘specially when they think Dr. Google is a better resource than Chifuyu’s degree… but nah, this was… off the books.” He catches your inquisitive gaze and offers a smile, but it’s more like a grimace in the lowlight. His hand creeps closer, fingers pressing into your back, and for a moment, you’re willing to let it go. He gently grazes the middle of your spine. “It’s done, alright? Finished. Won’t happen again.”
You know he’s lying because he holds you close, the way he only does when he thinks you’re about to leave.
But you don’t leave; you never leave. You just give him a withering glare you know he can’t see, then turn back to the ocean.
You hate this feeling. The one where the world becomes unsteady, and everything you’d been trying to keep buried since you were thirteen sneaks up on you. That horrid, awful, destructive fascination and jealousy and yearning that’s plagued you since Baji first bragged about stealing a kiss from the pretty girl that lived three floors above him and only gets worse every time he mentions someone new.
Going on dates was supposed to squash this. Meeting a nice guy, having a good time, and getting a kiss or two of your own was supposed to end this. This—obsession—you’ve had since the first time Baji said he hopes that one day, you meet the right guy and you accidentally thought, ‘maybe it’s you.’ Because at the end of the day, he’s the one who’s there. Not Tadashi, who couldn’t even be bothered to show up. Not Draken, who recently started putting Emma above all else (even you). It’s been Baji, your Baji, whose mere existence makes everything better, that’s been the last one standing.
You can’t ruin that. You can’t risk pushing away the only companion who still puts you first for something you’re positive you can find somewhere else.
At least, that’s what you have to tell yourself, as yet another date fails and Baji is here, again, picking up the pieces and making you feel more whole than when the day started.
The sky is nearly dark when you finally ask the question that’s been on your mind since the barista gave you that pity cup—the one that’s probably still sitting in the bathroom, the last witness to your heartbreak. Just as alone and unwanted as you. 
“What’s… wrong with me?”
Baji’s sharp. He alway has been, from the stern angle of his nose to the feral way his teeth carve like a predator’s. He watches everything—the road, the fighters, you—with a scrutiny that’s often clouded behind cheshire grins and snide quips.
But there’s nothing sharp about him tonight; only soft. Soft hands that gently grab your chin and force you to look at him. Soft breathes as he pulls you close. Soft words as he makes sure you hear him whisper, “nothing.” 
Baji’s eyes, dark and teeming with something you can’t place, move from one eye to the other; to the fingers on your cheek; to your tongue, wetting your lips. He leans in, forehead resting against yours as his hand slides back, gripping your hair like you're his lifeline and not the other way around, and you’re back to thinking okay, this is it, he’s going to kiss me, he’s finally going to kiss me—
But all he does is repeat, “absolutely—fuckin’ nothing, alright? And—‘n fuck whoever makes you feel otherwise,” before resuming his seat like nothing happened.
You let go of a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. It’s stale and hot and full of fury, your fury, and suddenly, you can’t take it anymore.
“Fuck you, Keisuke.”
“What?” Baji scrambles for your arm as you abruptly stand, too furious to even look at him. You rip away but don’t stop, trying to will the stupidness of—whatever this is—to go away, to release you so you can go back to feeling better and right and whole. “Wait—come on, I didn’t—what did I say? Did I do something? Where the hell are you going?”
“Forget it!” you snap. His every question—the fact he wants to make it right even though he’s the reason it hurts—just makes it worse. “Just—leave it alone, alright? It obviously doesn’t matter—” 
This time when he grabs your arm, he doesn’t let you leave. He pulls you in to him, nearly crashing you into his chest as he holds you in place.
“Damnit, y/n, what the hell? What did—why are you being like this?” For the first time tonight, he meets your eyes without falter. He tucks a hand under your chin, all but pries your eyes open himself to search for what you're hiding. You try shrugging out of his iron grip, but he’s too strong. “What did I do?”
“Nothing—” You’re horrified at the way your voice cracks. “Fucking—nothing, Baji, you did nothing—“
“Then why’re you so fucking mad, hunh? Why’re you acting like I’m the bad guy here?” His fingers tighten. It would’ve hurt, if you weren’t so angry. “I’m not the asshole who stood ya up—I’m not the one who’s been dickin’ everyone around, pretending like everything’s fine when I know, Draken knows—even fuckin’—Pah-chin—can tell that something’s wrong—“
“You’re calling me an asshole?” you gasp incredulously. “Are you fucking serious?” 
“Yes!” he retorts hotly—then, upon realizing how horribly angry you’re growing, quickly backtracks, “I mean—no! Actually, no, you know what, I did mean yeah, because guess what, princess? You are acting like an ass! You’ve got—all these people who wanna be here for you, I want to be here for you, and all you’re doing is getting mad at me for it—”
“What do you want me to say, Baji?” It’s useless, trying to get free, but that doesn’t stop you from trying. “That I’m—heartbroken—at being stood up—again? That I’m done with dating, that I’m giving up, that everyone fucking sucks but I must suck worse—”
“They don’t deserve you—”
“Like hell!” Your tone is scalding. It must burn him just as bad, because a single lapse in his grip lets you rip your arm away. “That’s the whole goddamn point of dating, jackass, to figure out who’s worth what—and all this has shown is that I’m not worth it, to anyone.” You slam your hands against his chest, tears stinging your lash line. If you weren’t so angry, you might not have missed how his face falters when you push him away. “And you just—sitting there, and—and holding me like that, and—and telling me that I’m not the problem when I’m the only common denominator—you’re such a fucking liar—”
“You think it’s any easier for me?” he’s quick to yell, frustration making him bare his teeth like fangs. Anyone else would’ve cowered—but you stand your ground. Place two hands on his chest and shove, hard, forcing him back as he continues, “you think it’s any easier to see you gettin’ your hopes up, to freak out over what to text, what to wear, what to do—all for those fuckin’ dickweeds? Hunh? Guys who can’t even—spell your name right, or remember what your favorite flower is, or fucking—show up? You think it’s any fucking easier seeing you so goddamn upset over someone who doesn’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you, let alone spend time with you–be with you? Because it’s not, sweetheart!”
The sweet pet name that usually makes your heart skip a beat only aggravates you further. Your hands go from shoving to slamming, open palms against the hard muscle of his chest—but he doesn’t even flinch. Just catches your wrists before you can do it again and stares, like you’ve started speaking in tongues. “Oh, poor Baji, must be hard, hunh, thinking no one’s good enough, thinking everyone’s so lucky as to have people throwing themselves at them left and right—but newsflash, Keisuke, not all of us are like you! Not all of us have the ability to pick whoever we want, some of us actually have to work at it—“
“Stop working on the wrong guys then!”
“You’ve never even met them, how would you know—“
“Because they let me stand in the way!”
The world stills. 
You can’t place why; why this feels like a sucker punch, why your heart is suddenly skipping beats–why you can’t tell if this hurts. Not until Baji’s grip tightens, then his eyes widen, and you have a sneaking suspicion you know where this is going—but still, you ask, “what?”
He doesn’t respond. He can’t.
He lets go of you, though every fiber in his being begs him to stay. He takes a step back, though his heart pleads for him to wrap you in his arms and hold you close and tell you the truth, about what he did, why he did it, why he can’t bring himself to regret it…
He has to turn his back to you, to stare at the waves crashing along the sand as he tries to process just how badly he’s fucked this up and if there’s any possibility for redemption. It’s too late to lie. Too late to try and salvage this.
He’s made his bed; it’s time to lie in it.
Baji sighs–or something close. Something choked, not quite a laugh but also not quite a sob. Something is stuck in him, and even with the ice in your veins, you piece it together. Somehow, this—the failed dates, the heartache, the loneliness—it's all his fault.
Still, you have to ask. “What the hell are you talking about?”
You try making the venom in your voice match that in your blood, but you can’t. Not when he looks so—defeated. He runs his hands through his hair, doing a miserable job of either pretending he can’t hear you or attempting to buy enough time to come up with a plausible lie—though you don’t need him to. Not when his actions say enough.
It’s your turn to reach for him. Your turn to grab his arm, to keep him in place. You want to hold on to your anger, but the way his hands are shaking makes it impossible.
You draw him close, voice gentle as you say his name. You reach for his cheek, keeping his hands still with one of yours, and you tilt his head; he lets you tilt his head so that he has no choice but to look at you. 
When your gazes meet, you wait.
“I had to,” he eventually says. His voice is steady, but his hands aren’t. His fingers wrap around your wrists tightly, as if he’s afraid you might try leaving—but your grip on him is equally tight. “They weren’t good for you. They were jerks, and they were only going to break your heart, and I couldn’t let that happen. Not to you. I had to—I had to.”
“Had to… what?” He doesn’t answer, not until you prompt, “had to what, Baji?”
“Don’t—” he breathes. “Don’t… call me that.” His eyes close, and he leans into the palm on his cheek. For a moment, you pretend that he’s memorizing the feel of you, as if he’s scared to lose you—but that can’t be it. Keisuke Baji isn’t afraid of anything.
You’re not sure what’s more painful: the knots in your stomach or the hope in your heart. “Tell me what you did,” you muster up. “Keisuke, tell me what you did.”
When his eyes finally open, all of his anger is gone. In its place is something you’ve rarely seen, and even rarer directed at you: desperation.
“I stopped them.”
For a moment, all you hear is your own heart… then the waves of truth come crashing down.
“I—I found them, and I swear on my life, on your life—I only meant to talk to them, to figure out if—if they had good intentions, if they were gonna treat you right—but they all sucked, y/n, they were awful—going on and on about how they were—how they wanted to—to fuck you, just to say they could—or they weren’t—serious about how they felt and I couldn’t—I couldn’t let them do that, I couldn’t let them hurt you like that, so I… I hurt them first. Not—not much, just enough so they’d—get the idea. Leave you alone. Stay away from my girl—”
He cuts himself off, and for a moment, you’re frozen. You don’t know what to do, what to think—is this real? Is he saying what you think he’s saying? Does he really mean it?
Baji’s voice cracks when he says your name.
“Y/n, listen—listen to me,” he pleads. His forehead presses against yours. Your cheeks grow wet, though you can’t tell if that’s because of you or him. “You are—the most amazing person in this whole freaking world. You get that? You’re—smart, and pretty, and so fucking funny and—and anyone who can’t see that is an idiot. And it fucking—kills me—that you’ve got it in your head that what these—stupid pricks think is the only thing that matters, because it’s not. It’s never mattered. The only thing—the only thing that has ever mattered… is you. Okay? You.”
Your throat closes. Your hands reach for his, catching only wrists as he cradles your face, trying to ground yourself in this moment. In all the things he says and all the things he doesn’t; in the silent, desperate dream that refused—refuses—to die, taking over you once more.
“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.” His lips are so close, they brush your nose. “I’d say I regret it, but I don’t, because— you deserve better. You deserve the world, if you want, or—or the moon and all the stars, and—and unless they’d get it for you, they don’t deserve you. Okay? None of them deserved you.”
You’re just a hair away from kissing him, from caving to the impulses you thought were dead and gone and hopeless all these years, and the worst possible sentence sinks out: “you’re an idiot, Kei.”
Then you lean forward and kiss him.
In an instant—you feel whole. You feel right, in a way you haven’t since you decided you never had a chance with him; in a way you’ve been searching for in the words of all the others who’d let you down, who’d broken your heart and always, always, always led you back to moonrise with Baji, back home—
Baji jolts. He pulls away and stares at you with a wild mixture of shock and confusion. His fingers ghost his lips, only to draw back as he stares at them, then at you, then back at them, like he can’t quite comprehend this hand is attached to his body—like you were. Like you want to be, like you thought he wanted to be, like you thought he was asking you to be—
Your heart plummets as he just—stands, no witty quip or teasing remark at the ready. No lines to read between; no phrasing to draw false confessions from; nothing other than the stillness of the night, and the pounding of your heart.
“Wait—” you shrink as you realize just how hoarse a single stolen kiss has left you. “I thought—please, Kei—”
A flicker of… something dances in his eyes, and then—he watches you. Studies you, with the same scrutiny he holds before a fight or when picking apart a bike to see what parts are broke and what can be saved.
“Say it again.”
It’s your turn to blink; your turn to have wide eyes and parted lips, to study him like you’re not sure how to fix it. “I don’t—“
“My name,” he says, and your heart starts to leap. “Say my name, sweetheart.”
“I say your name all the time, Keisuke.” You’re barely above a whisper. Barely above the fear that this time, he’ll break your heart and there’ll be no one to pick up the pieces because—you ruined this.
“Not like that,” he breathes. You forget how to. “Say it like it means something. Like—you don’t hate me. Like—”
“Kei,” you interrupt, hands coming to cradle his cheeks as you read between the lines, “I forgive y—”
He doesn’t even let the final word form before his lips are on yours. Hard, aggressively melding like he’s worried you might change your mind and wants to milk every second out of this as he can—but you reciprocate just as desperately. Keisuke’s hands wrap around you, one gripping the base of your neck and the other resting on the small of your back, pulling you impossibly close, as if he couldn’t get enough of you. His mouth opens, teasing your lips apart as you trade air, fingers digging into your soft skin like it’s the last thing he’ll ever touch.
You pull away first, and that’s only because your lungs are aching—not that you mind. The pain helps make this feel real. 
For once, Keisuke’s grin doesn’t seem mocking. He moves a hand to cradle your face, thumb rubbing against your cheek. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that, sweetheart.”
“Not as long as I have,” you admit with a breathy laugh. Your hands lock around his neck, fingers playing with his hair, and you realize you’re smiling.
You kissed. Keisuke kissed you, you kissed him—everything makes sense. Everything is right, and with the moon and tides as your witness, everything is good again.
“Can I…” Keisuke starts, eyes flicking to your lips in an unspoken question. You finish his sentence with a kiss.
“You can always kiss me, Kei,” you say. “You don’t even have to ask.”
There’s the grin you recognize; the scheming, teasing grin that always makes your stomach flip in a way you thought meant he’s up to no good, but now realize as a sign you’d fallen for him long ago. 
“Oh, yeah?” he questions, brushing his lips against yours. “Only here? Or can I kiss… here?” He moves to the corner of your lips, then to the hollow of your cheek as he continues, “and… here? And maybe…”
He trails off, and he trails down, letting his lips drag against your cheek while his hand keeps you firmly in place, lips going done to your chin, down the column of your throat and back up. Your breathy yes would be pathetic—if it ever made it out. All that escapes is a breathy groan of displeasure when he stops, teasing lips hovering just above your own. “What’s that, babe? Want me t’stop?”
“You’re such an asshole.”
Your hands tangle in his hair, lips melding as your make-out turns heated. He slides his tongue along the seam of your lips, silently asking you to open—and you do. His hands curl around you, bringing you closer until there’s no space left between you.
Something digs into your leg. Something hard and unmistakable, and it leaves you grinning deeper than Kei.
You break away, laughing at his whine of protest and briefly glance down. Keisuke follows your eyes and is quick to splutter a nervous chuckle, hands dropping as he tries to step away with a short apology—though the way you catch his belt loops stops him. “Shit—sorry, I didn’t—I just—it’s your fault, y’know—“
“Shut up,” you giggle and drag him back. Now, you kiss him; once, twice, then a third before trailing your lips along the sharp ridge of his cheekbone, along his temple, to his ear. “How about you take me home, Kei?”
Keisuke’s whiplash nearly hurts you. His eyes, big and brown and wide, stare like you’ve grown an extra head. His hands shakily splay against your back, as if he wants to keep you close but he’s not sure he’s allowed to. His voice wavers slightly when he asks, “but I thought… aren’t… I mean, isn’t this… what you wanted?”
Slowly, you nod. Even slower, you pointedly look at the space between you, bridged only by the tent of his black pants. You smile at the sweet way a blush covers his cheeks, and risk slowly trailing your hand along his belt until your fingertips are hovering over that stupid, shiny, obnoxiously big belt buckle you always tease him for.
“I want you, Keisuke, and I want you to take me home.”
He doesn’t need more encouragement. 
Keisuke’s kisses grow fiercer. He devours you, never once breaking contact as his hands slide to find firm purchase on the back of your thighs. With ease, he lifts you atop his bike, setting you in front of him and stepping between your spread legs. The hem of your dress slides up with his calloused palms, collecting in a bunch then pooling down to protect your modesty as he finds two handfuls of ass. He gives a squeeze, eliciting a delighted gasp from you, then pulls back with a toothy smile.
“Then have me, sweetheart. Always been yours, anyways.” 
Your stomach twists, the way it always does when he looks at you like that, and you like it. It makes sense, it feels right—and you don’t have to pretend to justify why it makes your panties wet.
“Gotta—gotta get home—“ you try saying, but Keisuke’s hands have a mind of their own. They’re the only reason you’re still upright as he starts kissing along your neck, carefully grazing his sharp teeth but never once digging in. Your arms lop around him, digging into his scalp and shoulders as he finds this one spot that makes you moan, and you almost curse him for what that smile has done to you.
“Fuckin’—insane—if you think I'ma make it,” he mumbles into your skin, and you think you finally understand how some people can climax from someone’s voice alone.
You laugh and intend to push him away and demand that he do, that you have to, that you need to, because this—isn’t like you, you’re not one to get hot and heavy like this, certainly not in public—
But you can’t think straight. Not when Keisuke’s hands are kneading your ass, pinching and releasing like he can’t decide if he wants to hold on forever or explore somewhere new. Not when his teeth nibble your neck, and you shudder at the unbelievably primal sensation running through you.
Not when the unmistakable hardness of Keisuke’s boner finds home between your thighs, and he starts bucking his hips. It’s subtle, and he doesn’t tease you for the pathetic way you start whimpering. He focuses on continuing to explore the expanse of your otherwise untouched skin, while all you can do is revel in the way your high starts building.
You’ve been kissed before, on the lips and neck and once a little lower, but no one’s ever done this to you; pressed against your collarbone. Moved your neckline aside to suck on the fat of your breast. Left a mark that’ll last longer than a minute. For a moment, you wonder if you should tell him he’s the first, but when the zipper of his pants starts catching your clit, the only thing you’re able to do is moan his name.
Loudly.
Breathy and passionate and different than before, and he pauses. Lifts his head from your collarbone, a thin tendril of salvia keeping his lips still attached to the sensitive skin you know will bruise. He lets one hand trail up your side and cup your face, staring like this might be the last time he ever sees you, all while his hips continue to rut against you.
“Say it again,” he breathes, thumb catching your bottom lip. “Just—just like that.”
“Kei,” you repeat, giggling at the way he brightens and starts kissing you, “we need to go home—now.” For good measure, you boldly let your fingers slide to the edge of his belt buckle, in case he needs some more convincing. His free hand darts to yours, but he doesn’t stop you. He laces his fingers in yours and guides you, letting you palm at his thick hard-on. He lets out a low groan and drops his head from your lips to rest at your chest, just above the collar of your dress. You card one hand through his hair, the other applying light pressure to the (you assume) very painful ache between his legs—and not at all because you know, if he kept bucking into your core the way he just was, the way he keeps doing against your palm—you wouldn’t be able to make it home, either. “Take—take me home, Kei—”
“Not—” he huffs. His grip on your ass tightens, but you can barely feel it. Not when Keisuke whines, low and needy, teeth coming out to nip at your breast, and all you can focus on is the ache between your own legs, getting even worse as his hips start moving faster, forcing the back of your hand against your cunt as you continue to palm him. His hips don’t stop; they push against you so fiercely, so desperately, that you cave, taking away your hand so there’s nothing between you but your clothes. 
You’re on the precipice in minutes; hands digging into his shoulders as you choke on a sob, pleading with him to go faster, to not stop, to keep making you feel good—and it’s made all the worse when he does, pressing his throbbing erection even harder against your soaked panties, all the while pleading into your skin, “can’t—can’t—fuck, baby, I can’t—y/n—“
You gasp when his teeth break skin.
Keisuke’s hips still. Warm air saturates your chest as he groans into it, and for a moment you’re frozen. Your whole body aches, and you want to scream at the cruel way your orgasm was stolen—but you’re too in shock that he got you there that fast, that easily. Something warm trickles down your cheeks, between your breasts—blood? saliva? tears?—he doesn’t move. You don’t move. You’re not even sure he’s breathing, until his shoulders heave and your skin is warmed once more. A slight burn starts to spread across your chest, and when you open your mouth to ask him why the hell he stopped—all that comes out is his name.
You say it softly, then a little louder, but it’s not until you grab his face and force him to look up that he speaks—but his eyes are fixed firmly on the reddening bite mark forming atop your breast.
“M’sorry…”
A mean part of you wants to tell him he owes you a lot more than sorry, but the way his lower lip disappears as he nervously chews on it has you choosing otherwise. “It’s okay,” you comfort instead, “it didn’t hurt that bad.”
Keisuke grimaces. “No, I—” 
He sighs, head dropping back to your chest. Both arms wrap around your waist, and he presses a light kiss to the place he’d just bitten; the only way he probably figures he can keep close without meeting your gaze. He mumbles something, but you only know because you feel his lips moving.
“Can’t hear you…” you try prompting, but it only makes him snuggle deeper. He sighs again, loud and warm and in a way you’re familiar with—the way that really means, I can’t believe I have to do this… “C’mon, Kei, don’t you want to take me home?”
“Ididntmakeit.”
You have never, ever, in your life ever seen Keisuke embarrassed. Not when he told you about needing Chifuyu to tutor him post-juvie; not when he failed his college entry exams; not even when you accidentally walked in on him showering (in hindsight, he was probably a little too comfortable with how long it might’ve taken you to leave).
This was the man who went skinny dipping for fun. He’ll order fruity drinks for his friends who are too embarrassed to do it themselves. His approach to a lost fight is to get a rematch, not pretend it didn’t exist, and even in mundane moments that have you at a loss for words, like mistaking someone’s name or forgetting a face, Kei’s always quick for a retort or defense or a smile that makes everything better.
Keisuke Baji doesn’t get embarrassed—but that’s the only word that fits. His cheeks are redder than you’ve ever seen, his breathing faster than his pulse. His eyes refuse to meet yours, and his fingers knead into clumsy, nervous patterns along the side of your thighs.
Then he takes a deep breath, and with one shaking hand, he slowly brings your palm to the crotch of his pants… that are now sticky.
Your eyes widen, and you’re almost too late to choke down a gasp. Kei’s eyes close, and he ducks his head in shame. “I didn’t—I mean, I haven’t—you're just—I’m so sorry—”
“Why?” It sounds curt, and you don’t intend it to. Better than laughing, you reason—although you will absolutely get him for this later… when it stops feeling like the most humiliating thing in the world.
Keisuke swallows. “I haven’t ever… you know.”
“What, cum early?” It’s cruel to tease, you know that, but you can’t stop the slight satisfaction that you—you—are able to bring a man like Keisuke Baji to his knees.
“No! I mean—no, I…” Kei looks out to the ocean, fingers still anxiously kneading into your thighs. The temperature drops, though you’re not sure if it actually does or you’re just feeling like it as you try to understand what’s happened, what’s happening—what you’re to do next. His jaw clenches and he tries to pull away from you, but you don’t let him. You wrap your legs around the backs of his thighs, keeping him in place.
“Kei…” you say softly. You don’t force him to look at you. Instead, you let your fingers trail up his abs, curling around his neck so you can rest your forehead against his temple and kiss his cheek. “I don’t care. Just means you gotta make it up to me—”
“I’ve never had sex before.”
You’re grateful he doesn’t look at you, because you’re not able to control the utter shock coloring your face. How is that possible? You’ve heard the whispers when you go out; you’ve seen the looks. At parties or bars or clubs, he’d find a pretty thing and disappear, and you assumed you knew what happened behind those closed doors—because why, why, why would you want to ask about that? 
The others didn’t dispel it, either; in fact, they’d constantly rip on him for his… gift, and Keisuke never fought back. He’d just smirk and wink and say, “it’s never disappointed,” and by the time you’d turned red, thinking about when you caught him in the shower and knew what they were saying was true, they’d moved on to taunting someone else.
So how the hell is it possible that Keisuke’s a virgin—and, more importantly, how didn’t you know?
You’re not sure how long it takes you to recover. If he were to ask, you’d say you were just waiting for him—because when you do speak, it’s only when Keisuke turns to you with narrowed eyes, an apprehensive blush clear on his face. 
“Wanna know a secret?” you ask, forcing a teasing lilt to your voice—though your stomach twists. This isn’t exactly the way you wanted to tell him, and for a flash, you think of how disappointed he might be to learn the truth. 
But when he meets your gaze, eyes wide and focused entirely on you, somewhere between hopeful and nervous, you know it’s for the best. Your smile is sweet, but not as sweet as your lips when you kiss the crinkle between his eyes. He immediately relaxes, hands stilling as he leans into you. “Neither have I.”
He straightens and pulls far enough away so he can examine you. For a minute, your confession hangs between the two of you, then Kei starts floundering, “but I thought… you said… but he… what about your ex?”
You shrug, your own cheeks starting to flush. “It never felt right.”
Keisuke blinks. His mouth parts, eyes darting between yours like he’s waiting for the gotcha!, but all he receives is the embarrassed way you can’t meet his gaze, feeling as if you’ve somehow let him down. You squirm, his warm hands still atop your thighs sending butterflies to your stomach, and shrug again. “I dunno, I just—didn’t think it was fair. Doing that with someone, when all I could think about…” you swallow, lips twisting as you debate whether or not to tell him the truth. 
He catches your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes. “Think about what, sweetheart?”
The way he asks tells you he already knows; but like earlier, when you knew and had to hear it anyway, he needs you to say it, too.
So you take a steadying breath. You gently trail a finger down the side of his jaw, and you make yourself smile as you say, “you, Kei. It didn’t seem right if it wasn’t you.”
This time when he kisses you, it’s slow. He takes his time in tasting you, in savoring the moment. He lets you guide where his lips go, how his hands wander, and he waits for you to pull back before he suggests, “how about I take you home now?”
Your stomach flutters. Fingers knot at the base of his skull, and slowly, a smile spreads on your face. 
“I’d like that.”
He presses a chaste kiss to your temple. You can feel the joy in it, one that doesn’t fade for either of you as he unhooks your legs so you can properly straddle the bike, then tucks the helmet on you and pops on himself.
“Hold on,” he calls as he revs the engine, “might be goin’ a bit faster than usual.”
“Don’t worry,” you laugh, and even though you know he probably can’t hear you, you add, “I’m never letting go.”
You make it to Keisuke’s apartment in seven minutes flat—which, normally, would leave you terrified, given his place is twenty minutes from your spot, but you doubt that’s what’s got your heart racing. He barely gives you enough time to take the helmet off before his hands are back on you, easily scooping you up and carrying you up the stairs. You bump into a few walls, and the way you’ve got a loose grasp on his helmet sends it craning into his back just as often, but neither of you care. Between fits of giggles and cautious glances to make sure he’s not about to walk you through a glass door (or down a stairwell), you kiss like it’ll be the last time you ever get the chance to.
“Anyone home?” you mumble into his lips. He slams you against the front door of his shared three-bedroom apartment, using his hips to keep you up while he tries to find the lock by memory.
“Nope,” he replies, lips busy with your skin, fingers fumbling uselessly behind you. “Stupid—fucking lock—told Tora to leave it—never fuckin’ listens—”
“Relax,” you laugh, although that’s rich coming from you. Your legs tighten around him as you break free from his kiss, instead sucking along the column of his throat. Freeing his face is supposed to give him enough room to actually look for the lock, so the two of you can stop dry-humping in the hall and finally get the privacy you need—but like always, Keisuke does the unexpected.
He throws his head back and moans, giving you more access to leave a matching hickey—and you’re not strong enough to resist the temptation. A whine starts in his throat, from where you’re sucking on his pale skin. The keys clatter to the ground.
“Keisuke,” you scold—but before you can tease him for being in a rush, his lips are back on yours.
“Never gonna make it,” is his only defense.
“Gonna—gonna have to,” you reply, but every time you try pulling away or reach for the keys yourself, he grabs you. Wraps your wrists in his rough hands, pins them to the door beside your head, and leans so far forward that, even with your limp legs, he’s able to keep you up himself. “Kei—“
“So help me sweetheart,” he warns, hips rolling against yours with a sense of urgency only outmatched by his kiss, “if you keep saying my name like that, I swear to the gods I’m gonna fuck you right here.”
“So help me, sweetheart,” you shoot back, breathy and hot as you try to avoid the way his lips chase yours, “if you don’t get me inside right now, I might let you.”
He freezes. Pulls away from the delightful bruise he’d just been leaving below your ear and stares at you with a mixture of awe and utter delight. “Really?”
You swat the back of his head. “No, dumbass, open the fucking door.”
Keisuke’s lips, pink and bruising slightly, twist in a pretend pout as he squats. He keeps one thick palm under your thigh, keeping your leg wrapped around him as he snags his keys. “You’re such a fucking tease.”
“Says the guy who does—that,” you try scoffing, but you’re cut off with a moan when Kei stands and bounces you against his hips. His boner is back and harder than before, pressing into your core, the messy, wet mix of your drenched panties and his earlier cum making a lewd sound in the otherwise silent hallway. 
“Does… what, babe?” he teases. “C’mon, finish that sentence.” 
You don’t know how he finds the focus to actually find the lock this time, but you thank every deity in the world that he does—because it takes just a second, a single, solitary second for him to jimmy it in, slam the door open, and you’re finally alone.
The door frame rattles. Something falls, but you can’t tell if it’s the mirror you insisted he hang above the entry table you insisted he get or if it’s the rickety old coat rack Chifuyu said would ‘class up the joint’; all you know is that as soon as the key is in, Baji’s hands are back to cradling your thighs for support as he crosses the threshold. 
You reach for the door, but he catches it with his ankle and slams it shut, quickly spinning to pin you against it.
“Really—” you pant, “really got the place—to ourselves?”
“Mhm,” Keisuke confirms. He leans into you, palms rubbing along your thighs until they get to your knees, silently asking you to wrap tighter around him. You do, and the moment he feels your ankles cross at the small of his back, his hands move to your waist. “Told ‘em—needed space.”
“Oh?” you question, your hands reaching for the hem of his shirt and tug, tug, tugging—“And when’d you do that?”
He reaches behind his head and yanks his tee off, tossing it carelessly into the darkness of the apartment. You hadn’t even paused to turn on the lights.
“After I saw Tadashi.” You can tell he’s grinning, especially as you drag your nails along the chiseled plane of his abs. His hands slide up your torso, thumb rubbing your stomach through the thin cotton of your dress, grazing the underwire of your bra. “Told Tora this one wasn’t gonna work, either, ’n he said I should just tell ya the truth, 'cause he couldn’t watch me mope around all night again—”
“Mope?” you tease. Kei’s fingers dig in. “Kazutora accused you of moping?”
“Well—shut up!” he whines. “You try watching the person you’re in love with go out with guys who don’t deserve them and tell me you wouldn’t start moping either—y/n? Why… are you looking at me like that?”
Your eyes are wide. Your hands go limp, the helmet falling to the floor with a loud clatter. Your lips part to say… something, but you’re not sure what.
Keisuke’s told you he’s loves you a thousand times; the brief ‘kay love ya! before he hangs up; the gentle love you, see ya tomorrow whenever he’d bring you home; the drawn out gods I love you after you’ve surprised him with his favorite meal—but none like this.
None so… blatant. So unmistakable.
Kei stares at you curiously, as if he isn’t even aware of what he’s just said. He repeats your name, hands leaving your waist to catch your chin.
“You’re… in love with me?” 
Keisuke blinks.
For a moment, you think you must’ve misheard, he must’ve misspoke, you must have misunderstood—but a brilliant smile breaks his face, and he nuzzles his nose against yours. “‘Course I’m in love with you, sweetheart. I’ve been in love with you, and I ain’t ever gonna stop loving you—”
You kiss him.
The gentlest one yet. The way you always dreamed your first one would be; soft, sweet, lips pressing together while your hands held him close. Heartbeats synching. The world falling away as it’s just the two of you, in this moment, endless and forever.
There’s only one thing to say when you pause: “I love you too, Keisuke.”
Your teeth knock together as Keisuke can’t contain his smile, either. Hands move, one around the small of your back and the other under a single thigh. Your lips never part as he carries you to his room.
He sets you at the foot of his bed and stands above you. His chest heaves, bare and flushed with need. Your hands slip from his neck to his bed to keep yourself propped up, legs still wrapped tightly around his waist. Keisuke’s hands travel to your knees, and he just—stares.
He loves you. How could he not, with the way that pretty dress puddles on his mattress, exposing nearly all of your leg but hiding what he’s been waiting for his whole adult life? How could he not, with the way his spit makes your collar glistens in the moonlight, filtering in from behind those sheer curtains you insisted he get? How could he not love the way you say his name, reaching towards him, fingers catching on his belt buckle as you ask him if he’s ready?
“Not yet,” he whispers. The hoarseness of his voice, the way it’s dropped several octaves from merely seeing you on his bed, sends a jolt of electricity through you. You’re about to ask why, but the reverence in how he’s looking at you makes you not want to break this spell.
He trails his fingers along your calves. Gently, he unhooks your legs from his waist. His fingers shake as he struggles with the straps of your heels, but when you go to help, he catches your wrist. 
“No,” he repeats, “not yet.”
You keep quiet and merely watch as your best friend, the man of your dreams, takes his time in undressing you. One wedge, then the other, falling off your feet with a dull clank! on the carpet. Keisuke kisses your ankles, then starts kissing up your calves, then your knees, then your thighs—
The anticipation has you dripping. Your thighs instinctively clench when he gets to your hem, hands curling into fists by your sides. Your panties are uncomfortably glued to your cunt, sticky in a way you’ve never been before, and he’s not even lifted your dress to see yet.
Keisuke rests his chin atop your thigh. “Please,” he pleads—pleads—“Let me—baby, let me. I wanna taste you.”
Today is not the day you learn to refuse him.
Your muscles shake from anticipation as you slowly spread your legs, but that’s not enough for him. “Baby, no, I—I wanna hear you say it.” His voice is soft, shaky. A little hesitant, as if he’s not sure if this’ll ruin the moment but he knows he has to be sure—he has to hear you say it… if only to revel in the desperate way you say his name. 
“Keisuke, please… whatever you want, have it. Just—touch me, Kei, please, I need you—“
“Need you too, sweetheart,” he praises, running his lips along your thigh. “Gonna—gonna have you now, okay?”
His fingers still shake when he lifts your dress, exposing the black lace of your panties to him. At first glance, he can’t tell that they’re absolutely soaked—but that doesn’t stop the way you start to squirm in embarrassment as he just… stares. His thumbs dig into the fat of your hips, broad palms keeping your thighs spread and pinned to the bed.
It takes you a moment to realize he’s not breathing.
“Kei?”
He doesn’t look up. 
His grip gets tighter. His eyes narrow. Before you get the chance to ask him what’s wrong, he growls, “you wore these for him?”
You blink. That is not what you were expecting, but before you can defend with they’re my lucky pair, or I wanted to feel sexy, or it doesn’t matter, I’m here with you—Keisuke’s ripped them off.
You yelp when the fabric bites your skin, failing to wriggling away as Keisuke strips them off your ankle. “What the fuck—“
“I’ll get you a new pair,” he mutters. “Shit—I’ll get you a hundred pairs, but you get rid of every single set someone else has seen. Got it?”
Your lips purse. He’s being unreasonable, you think, and totally ridiculous… but no matter how much your brain tries to reason he’s out of line, your fluttering pussy doesn’t get the message. Your slick is evident now, exposed and iridescent in the moonlight, dripping down your hole and slowly saturating the sheets.
Usually, Keisuke wouldn’t let it go. Usually, he’d keep picking at it until you cave, or at least recognize you heard him—but usually, he’s not staring at your cunt. 
Right now, he can’t focus on anything but how desperate he is to be inside you.
“Yeah, think ya got it… fuck, babe… seems like you like it when I say shit like that, hunh?” 
You whimper slightly, having to bite your lip to keep it together. Slowly, he drags the tip of his finger from the sheet beneath you up along your wet folds. He barely touches you, but when he pulls his finger away, it’s covered in a layer of you. 
He brings it to his face with a cocky grin, watching how the pad shines in the moonlight. “You always this wet, or am I special?”
“Shut up,” you shoot back, preparing to bring up how special he found you earlier—only to immediately throw your head back and moan as Keisuke buries his face between your legs.
There is no preamble. There are no more teasing quips or pauses; Keisuke dives in like a man starved, and the only thing that can sate his appetite is you.
He starts with broad strokes, gathering as much of your slick as he can. He’s messy, messier than you, and soon there’s more of his spit than your wetness between your legs. His arms wrap around your thighs, keeping them pinned and spread on his shoulders as he continues to feast, thumbs spreading your lips open so he can truly devour you.
When Keisuke starts suckling on your clit, your fingers knot in his hair. You moan, loud and whiney and plead for him to keep going as your orgasm starts to boil—faster than before, more powerful too, with greater ease than you’ve ever managed to pull from yourself.
Keisuke brings a hand to your clit, quickly swiping the puffy bud with the pad of his thumb as he focuses his tongue on your fluttering hole. In and out, up and down, the warm muscle drives you insane. Your grip on his hair must hurt, but he says nothing; he focuses on making you feel as good as humanly possible, never once letting up, not even when you start to choke, “Kei—I’m—I’m gonna—“
“Cum for me, sweetheart,” he commands. “C’mon, pretty girl, make a mess on my face, wanna feel how you clench, wanna make ya cry—”
It sends you over the edge.
With a scream of his name, your back arches. Your thighs try closing around him but still, he doesn’t let up. He keeps pace, tongue-fucking you, lapping up all the juice that spills out as his thumb continues caressing your clit until you do start crying and you do have to plead, “no—no more, Kei, can’t—“
“Can,” he corrects—but he stops. His hand stills, moving so that the warmth of his palm covers that sensitive bundle of nerves, and only then does he stop lapping at your hole. He presses a gentle kiss to your sex, then to your inner thigh. “But I’ll be nice tonight, sweetheart. Only ‘cause I love you, though.”
You stare at the ceiling as you catch your breath. The paint is peeling in the corner. The glow-in-the-dark stars you helped him put up when he first moved in are dim. The walls are covered in motorcycle posters. A calendar set to the wrong month hangs above a salvaged desk, covered with various veterinary textbooks, barely legible notebooks, a handful of empty beer cans, and a handful of DVD cases, one of which you know is Dyslexia; How to Read When Even Your Brain Doesn’t Want You To. A neon sign advertising Margaritaville is unlit beside his closet. A pile of clothes that didn’t make it to the hamper rests beneath it.
 The room is so—Keisuke , you feel at peace, even as your limbs turn to jelly.
Your heart is racing faster than if you’d just run a marathon. “Thought—thought you said you hadn’t—“ you try panting, but it’s too much effort, too soon. You end up collapsing back on the bed, head swimming with euphoria.
“Said I hadn’t had sex,” Keisuke corrects as he stands, your limp thighs falling to the either side of his waist, “not that I’ve never eaten pussy.” He scoffs, as if that should’ve been obvious. “I’m not an idiot, babe. I respect women enough to know where the clit is.”
A little laugh escapes you. The fan motor is the only other sound. It’s cool, your nipples perk beneath your bra, but you’re still hot. Still hyper aware that Keisuke is just a few inches away, watching your bare cunt flutter and beg him for more.
Keisuke does love you. You know he does, because he gives you time to catch your breathe before he starts up again, only pressing soft kisses to the inside of your legs and quiet offerings of, “so fuckin’ pretty” and “can’t believe you’re here” and, your favorite, the only one you respond to: “so in love with you.” 
“I love you too, Kei.”
He runs his hands along your sides, slowly taking more and more of your dress up with it until the entire thing is resting by your neck. He makes quick work of your bra, not even needing you to sit up as he unhooks it and lifts the cups away.
He says nothing; just stares at your naked body with the same adoration and awe he held when taking off your shoes.
“You’re—so beautiful,” he whispers. “Y’know that? So—so fuckin’ beautiful.”
He bends down and takes a pert nipple in his mouth. You whine, hate yourself for doing so, then whine again as his free hand starts tweaking your other nipple. He runs his tongue over every inch of your chest, making sure you’re covered with his spit and hands, traversing as much of you as he can.
When he gets to your face, he smiles. “You’re mine, yeah? All mine?”
Your fingers run over his jaw, over the bruise that’s barely discernible in the moonlight. No one’s touched you like him; no one’s even kissed you like him, either, and you’re not sure if it’s the “Keisuke” of it all making you feel like this, or if this is how it’s supposed to have felt all along. 
The answer comes easily.
“Yeah,” you agree with a smile of your own, “yeah, m’all yours, Keisuke. Pretty sure I always have been.”
“Always, hunh?” He holds you gently now; a stark contrast to the hungry way he’d just devoured you. “That mean you’ve always loved me, too?”
Your breathy yes is lost in a gasp when his hand slides between your legs. Gently, he prods a single thick finger into your virgin hole, shallowly dipping in and out. “Never had someone else in here, hunh? M’gonna be your first?”
“Y-yes,” you repeat, voice cracking. Your eyes flutter close as he keeps fingering you. You’d had fingers in there before, but none like this. Your own couldn’t compare, two of yours barely able to stretch the way one of his does… and he’s not even going all the way. Not even knuckle deep as he explores only the shallows, letting you adjust.
Your face scrunches when he adds a second.
“This okay?” he asks. You look at him, hand wrapping around his neck as you bring his forehead down to meet yours.
You nod, then remember what he said earlier, how you could feel his cock jumping when you were sweet and needy for him. “Yeah, Keisuke. Yes—yes, I want this. I want you.”
He cups your face and trails soft kisses from corner to corner, breaking apart only to lift your dress and bra over your head. They’re carelessly thrown to the floor, you have half a mind to scold him that it’ll wrinkle—but when he goes back to your cunt, two fingers halfway in, all you’re able to say is the harsh inhale of his name.
They’re shallow, never pushing in deep enough to hurt, slowly stretching your rim to its max. He goes a little deeper, then starts scissoring them, and it becomes nearly impossible to believe he hasn’t done this before.
“No—no way you’re a virgin,” you hiss when Keisuke’s lips travel to your breast. He alternates between sucking hickeys and kneading them while staring at the way your cunt sucks him in, never stopping his ministrations.
Keisuke lets out a short scoff and shifts. “You literally made me cum my pants like a teenager.”
“Then how—“
“I told ya, babe, I respect women,” is his only reply. The only one he’s willing to give, at least, because he starts paying more attention to your tits than what questions are spilling his way.
You feel like you’ve got to be ready when he adds a third, and you say as much—only for Keisuke to meet your gaze with a cocky grin. “Trust me, sweetheart. You’re gonna thank me for this.” 
It can’t be much longer until he deems you ready, but it feels like forever, even if he keeps you distracted from the slight burn between your legs by playing with your breasts, sucking on your throat, praising you.
“Taking m’fingers so well, pretty thing. You’re such a good girl f’me, can’t believe you made me wait this long…”
“You didn’t tell me either,” you scold. He curls his fingers mid-way through your sentence, rubbing against a sensitive spot you’ve never been able to find on your own. You keen his name, hand snapping down to catch his forearm. He pauses.
“Too much?”
Slowly, you shake your head, eyes watering. “Please, Kei, I—I want you to fuck me.”
Keisuke presses a chaste kiss to your forehead. “Never could say no to you, sweetheart.”
If you could think clearly, you’d start listing all the times he has denied you, starting with just a few seconds ago—but him withdrawing his fingers leaves you feeling too empty to do much but pout.
When he pulls away, you chase after him, only for him to shake his head with a fond grin. “How am I supposed to fuck you if you won’t let me take my pants off?”
With hot cheeks, your lips twist. “You were the one who wanted to fuck on your bike, and then in the hall—what, were you planning on stripping naked then, too?”
You’re rewarded with a very rare, very endearing blush. He sits back on his knees and rubs his neck, eyes dropping from yours—then his lip curls in a smirk. “With how wet you got, seems like you wanted me to. What—you like the idea of that? Getting fucked in public? Don’t worry, sweetheart, maybe we’ll try that one day…” He laughs at the way you squirm, but he’s not wrong; your cunt clenches at the thought.
“You’re such a dick.” Your hands reach for his belt, fumbling slightly as you try to undo it. Keisuke’s hands take over, getting rid of the black leather in seconds.
“Your dick,” he corrects, hands back on you, gently laying you back against his pillows, trailing over your now completely naked body, leaving gooseflesh in their wake. You roll your eyes but say nothing, heart in your throat, pussy pulsing in anticipation.
He straightens, taking in the display in front of him. Taking in you.
You sit up slightly, chewing your lower lip. He’s beautiful, but even more so in the moonlight. It illuminates his pale skin, almost making him glow in the darkness of the rest of his room. Obsidian hair falls in a straight sheet around his flushed cheeks, his lower lip caught between his teeth. Violet and red marks adorn his neck and chest. His abs flex when he watches the way your eyes trail down; down the inlet between them, down the stern jut of his prominent v-line, over the faint trail of dark hair that disappears into the band of his jeans.
His fingers—the ones just inside you—hover on the button. They’re covered in your slick, resting just above a bulge that looks absolutely delicious, one that you know he can’t wait to bury inside you—but still, he hesitates.
“I love you, Keisuke,” you say. He smiles. It’s the only further confirmation he needs before he’s pushing off the bed and pulling down his jeans and underwear in one go.
The others have lied about a lot—like Baji’s lack of virginity—but the size of Keisuke is not one of them.
Your jaw drops as you push to your knees, staring at Keisuke’s cock like it’s the first you’ve ever seen. It’s not, and technically speaking, it’s not even the first time you’ve seen his—but that time in the shower, when it was hanging heavily between his legs and you only caught a glimpse… apparently, that was him soft.
Keisuke hard is more impressive than any porn you’ve seen. So heavy that it can barely support its own weight, even with all the blood rushing through it, and so wide around even Keisuke, with his broad palms and lanky fingers, doesn’t dwarf it. 
A thick bead of pre slips out the tip, trailing along the bulging vein that disappears under Keisuke’s hand as he starts to stroke it.
“This… is where the others tapped out,” he says slowly, taking in the way you watch. “I mean—not that I’m thinking about them—but I just—“
“You’re big.”
Keisuke chokes on a laugh. “So I’ve heard. Pretty virgin like you wouldn’t know any better though, would you?”
You give him a withering glare. “I’ve sucked dick before, asshole. You’re big.”
Keisuke’s jaw clenches. “Yeah? Go on, then. Show me how you’ve sucked dick.”
Later, you’ll tease him for how jealous he got, and later, you’ll revel in the possessive way he determines to erase every other touch from your memory—but now, you obediently crawl towards him, one of your smaller hands overlapping his, and you take control.
You press a soft kiss to his flushed tip. It’s larger than your lips, his pre a salty gloss as you kiss again and again—Keisuke grips your hair. “Suck.”
It’s as much a plea as it is a command, one you can’t ignore. You take him,—just the tip—in your mouth, tongue swirling over his warm head as your hand replaces his on the rest of his dick. Your fingers barely touch, and no matter how you adjust, how you lay your palm or spread your fingers… there’s still at least an inch of him exposed.
He hisses, nearly drowning out the lewd, wet sound your pussy makes as it clenches around nothing.
“This—turning you on?” he says, as if his cock isn’t twitching obscenely against your tongue. “Fuckin—sucking on a big cock making you wet?”
You let go with a wet pop! and bat your eyelashes at him. You know exactly what you’re doing when you say, “No, Kei. I’m this wet ‘cause of you.”
With a groan, Keisuke pulls your head back to his dick and thrusts in, sliding as far as you’ll let him before you start to gag. “That’s—that’s it, sweetheart, get it nice and wet.”
He holds you there for a moment, waiting until you tap on his thigh before sliding out. Your eyes are teary, saliva dripping down the corner of your mouth. Deftly, you twist your wrist while catching your breath. His fingers go from knotting in your hair to petting the back of your head.
“You keep doing that, I’m gonna bust,” he warns, but his fond smile gives him away.
You merely smile. “Telling me you’ve never had your cock sucked, Kei?” 
His lip curls in a snarl, which disappears with a groan when you take him in your throat once more. Slowly, lips pursing around him, tongue flicking along the sensitive underside of his cockhead as you try going as far as you can. Your jaw is already starting to ache, but you’re determined to prove yourself.
“Not—like this,” he moans, pushing your head a little further down. Your lips split in a smile, and you raise your hand to start fondling his balls—a trick that’s always gotten you success before—but before you make contact, Keisuke is sliding out and grabbing your jaw. He’s breathing heavily, pupils blown out with lust. He stares at your lips then leans forward, not flinching at the taste of himself on you.
“Wanna fuck you now,” he mumbles. You wrap your arms around his neck and start to lean back, nodding.
“Want you to fuck me too,” you agree. One of Keisuke’s muscular thighs slides between your legs, easing them apart. He keeps kissing you, letting you fall softly against his pillows while he keeps stroking his member, slick with your spit.
He taps the tip of his cock against your clit. You hiss in surprise, eyes closing shut at the sudden sensation of pleasure that rushes through you. “Let me know if it hurts,” he says quietly. He grips his cock right beneath the head, guiding it through your slick folds, getting as much of your fluids on him as he can. 
He’s torn between needing to see the way you suck him in, and the need to squeeze his eyes shut. The sight of you alone, legs spread on either side, pussy gushing because of him, covering in marks because of him, mewling his name as you beg him to fuck you—it’s almost enough for him to cum on the spot. 
Faintly, honks echo from the street below. It’s amazing that in this instant, as your world is about to change forever and for the better, everyone else is going about their business like nothing’s happening. They’re catching a late-dinner with their partner; walking home from a late-night meeting that could’ve been an email; swinging by the grocer’s to pick up snacks and drinks to share with their friends… The whole world is continuing on, just beyond that window, but for you and Keisuke… it’s as if time’s stopped. 
The world is only real for the two of you.
He bends down to kiss you, making sure to pour every ounce of love and care he has into this one. You respond just as sweetly, reveling in the power of this moment, this one decision that will irrevocably tie you together forever, the way you were always meant to be.
He loves you, you love him, and there’s nothing else that matters.
“Ready?” he asks. You nod, then echo, “ready,” and he puts it in; just the tip, spearing past your tight hole. The two of you let out a synchronous gasp.
It’s even more than three of his fingers; warm, too, and thick, softer but also harder and full—you’re so, so, so full as he slowly edges in. It hurts—it feels good—it burns—you need more—
“Baby,” Keisuke pants. He’s let go of his cock, letting just the first inch or so rest comfortably within your walls. You feel him twitch, feel how tight his fingers dig into the sheets on either side of you so he doesn’t add more bruises to your ever-growing collection. “Baby, talk to me. Tell me—are you—are you okay?”
You whimper slightly when he sinks a little further. Eyes scrunching, your fingers digging into his thighs as you try to even your breath. “It—it’s so—“ you try saying, but it’s like you can feel him in your stomach, the pressure tightening all the way up your throat and cutting you off.
“So—good,” Keisuke gasps. He does the best he can, really, but you—you’re so—warm, and wet, and inviting—the place you’re joined might be the best thing he’s ever felt–ever seen. He slides a little further, presses a kiss to wherever he can reach as he waits until your chest stops heaving as horribly. He tries telling you he loves you, he really tries telling you how amazing you are, how perfect you are, how good you feel—but all that comes out are choked, half-sentences that fade into groans.
Tears prick at your lash line by the time he’s securely sheathed in you. Your fingers dig into his back, trying to pull him flush to your chest and bury his head in your neck so he can’t see. You know how he’ll feel; he’ll pull out and say he’s sorry, that he never meant to hurt you and it’s not worth it and he won’t try again–and that’s not what you want. You just need some time to adjust, that’s all. 
You never realized how empty you were.
Keisuke lifts up from the crook of your neck when the first tear slides against his cheek. “M’sorry,” he breathes, kissing one eye, then the other, licking the tear tracks and kissing you again. “M’sorry, I don’t wanna hurt—“ His arms shake on either side of you. The urge to start shifting his hips is sinful, but he doesn’t. He can’t, not until you're okay, not until you tell him it’s okay.
“It’s—okay,” you breathe. Your face says otherwise, but really… it’s okay. You play with the hair at the nape of his neck, offering him a little smile as you shift your hips ever-so-slightly against his. “I’m—I’m okay, baby, really. Just—just go slow.”
Keisuke kisses you. Slowly, deeply, spreading your lips with his as he gently pulls out and slides back in, heeding your directive to go slow. It hurts, it still hurts, is it supposed to hurt like this—but right when you’re about to give up, right when you’re about to tell him it's too much and maybe you should stop… it starts to feel good.
Not just full, but satisfying, bumping against the back of your messy cunt with every stroke. The ridge of his cockhead catches your insides in a way that makes your toes curl, and before long, your legs are wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer.
“Gods—fuck, Kei, fuck—“ you hiss, burying your head in his shoulder, biting his collarbone to keep yourself from screaming. “Just—there, like that, don’t—fuck—“
“Thought you said you were a virgin,” he hisses. Your broken pleas of, I am, I am, I am—go unrecognized as he slowly picks up speed. “Virgin pussy—heh—always feel this—fuckin’ good?”
You moan, loud and unreserved, nails digging into the muscle of his shoulders. Your stomach burns. Your pussy clenches, but for the first time, there’s finally something to hold on to, finally something to fill you up—you’ve never been so full, never felt so good. The coil tightens in your stomach, made all the more tense by the fact there’s something inside— “Gonna— gonna cum, Kei, don’t—don’t stop, please—“
“Yeah, sweetheart? You gonna—gonna cum for me? Go on, cum f’me. Cum on my cock, baby, show me what we’ve been—been waitin’ for—“
You cry when your orgasm finally washes over you.
You’ve never climaxed this powerfully before, to the point that you’ve felt like—this. The world is empty besides the two of you. Bells ring in your ear as you struggle to keep your eyes open, your whole body floating. You feel everything and nothing; like you’re weightless but have never been so heavy in your life.
You gasp for air, fingers digging into Keisuke’s shoulders as his hips stutter a few more times then still. His moans into your ear as his own orgasms consumes him, painting your insides white, shooting so much it drips out of your spent pussy and starts to puddle between you.
He stays there for a moment. Lets his lips trace lazy patterns beneath your ear, still half-hard inside you, one hand gripping the back of your neck and the other holding your breast. Even though you’re spent, your hands delicately trail up and down his spine. Your breathing is heavy and your smile bright and you think you could stay right here forever.
The plastic stars one his ceiling smile down at you, and you imagine the ones outside are doing the same. ‘About time!’ they seem to say. After all these years, about time. There’s a shrill whistle of bus brakes, screeching to a halt; a muffled shout from one pedestrian to another. The fan creaks slightly, the cool air washing over you and helping calm the raging fire on your skin. The clock on Keisuke’s lopsided nightstand, made even with a stack of textbooks he never got to put to use, beeps at midnight: the end of one day, the start of forever.
Kei takes a deep breath and slides off, hissing as his sensitive cock is exposed to the cool air of his bedroom. He lays on his back, taking a hand and placing it over his eyes as he tries to calm his racing heart.
Your legs are sticky. They’re already getting sore. Your hips ache, your spine stretches, your chest burns—but you relish it. Kei’s breathing evens beside you. 
Glancing, you check if he’s asleep—but with the way his forearm covers his eyes, you can’t tell. He looks even more like an angel now. Light, from a city just waking up, creeps past the curtains, illuminating slivers of his pale and flushed skin. He looks–relaxed. Content, even with the blush still coloring his high cheeks bones. His lips are parted, shallow gasps of air being sucked through them, but the longer you look, the more it looks like they’re curling in a smile.
His chest rises and falls steadily, and just when you start to think he might actually be asleep, the hand beneath your neck starts playing with your hair.
“Think it’s—always this good?” he asks breathlessly, pulling you in a little closer.
You pretend to think. He tilts his head, cracking an eye to look down at you curiously. You smile. “I don’t know. Think we better try again—y’know, just to be sure.”
Kei barks out a laugh and pulls you to his chest, looking at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. And right now, with the gentle light filtering through his open window, sweaty and smiling and with his cum dripping from between your legs to make a mess of his thigh, you are.
You play with the edges of his hair, sprawled lazily across his sweaty forehead. With a soft smile, he reaches for your fingers and pulls them to his lips. “Do you actually like it? My haircut, I mean. Pretty sure you liked the other stuff.”
You answer with a laugh, pressing a kiss to where the edges fall. “I love it.”
He grins and rolls over, pinning you to the mattress. The short locks make a curtain, hiding the two of you from anything but each other. “Good. Did it f’you.”
“For me?”
He hums and buries his face in your neck, delicately kissing the bruising skin. “Noticed your type. None of them had long hair, ’n I thought…”
With a pealing laugh, you grab his cheeks and bring his face to yours, smothering him with kisses. “Keisuke, you are such an idiot.”
He pretends to frown, but kisses you all the same. “Weren’t calling me that when I was making you scream earlier.”
“Kei,” you say, forcing him back so you can really meet his eyes, “short hair, long hair. No hair. The only kind of guy I’ve ever truly wanted has been you.”
Keisuke blinks. Short, thick lashes bat against those endlessly high cheekbones of his, and then he smiles. He lowers his lips to yours once more and gifts you a kiss; deep, slow. A kiss that’s been years in the making, that says all that your words have and then some.
“I love you,” he says, and you barely have time to say the same before he’s kissing you, hardening cock easily gliding back through your sticky folds, and you go for round two.
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So... happy adventuring :) thank you for reading! if you made it this far… pls reblog, drop a comment, or leave an ask if you enjoyed!! I worked really, really hard on this, and it would mean the absolute world to me that, if y’all enjoyed it, you told me why. if you hated it, tell me why. if i made you cry or scream or fall in love or fierce fiercely full of disappointed rage, tell me why!! i won’t bite (unless you ask)!
hopefully the next adventure gets even better. thanks for reading!
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lazycats-stuff · 4 months
Note
Ok it’s like 2:30am rn and I’m supposed to be doing a poster that’s due later but I saw the notification that your open again and I had to drop everything and run🙈
Can I request a Ra’s Al Ghul with oldest son reader who turns out to be like quite moral grey? Like the only reason he isn’t some assassin or super villain is bc he loves his family but is legitimately terrifying to the point Ra’s is scared of betraying him more than Alfred or his family.
I hope this makes sense, just some silly moment between Ra’s and reader when readers like “I’ve killed 275 people am nobody knows😆😘”
Okay, don't drop school for me, school is important. But this is just perfect. Ra's is like, who am I dating? Who am I courting?
Summary: (Y/N) is not like his family.
Warnings: (Y/N) has killed, Ra's is confused, (Y/N) loves Ra's and vice versa.
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Ra's has been happy ever since he has start courting, but he still wonders how he managed to get him. To land him, as the slang goes. He knows him very well and they know each other for a long time. (Y/N) is the oldest son in the family, he came before Dick even.
Ra's only started dating him when (Y/N) graduated from college. He never expected to catch feelings for (Y/N) and it was weird when he started making sure he is okay and what he is doing.
Ra's never wanted to date. After the death of his wife before even starting the League, he promised himself that he wouldn't love anymore. If he had a wife, then it was to have heirs, but he outlived them all.
And then (Y/N) came.
There was something different about (Y/N). Ra's watched him grow from a child to a grown man and he turned into a, in Ra's eyes, beautiful man with a strong character and mind too. That was rare now a days and Ra's wanted nothing more than to love him and court him.
There was only one problem. His family who was fiercely protective of him and it was just difficult to even show them that he didn't have any ill intentions. To this day, Bruce and Jason were still suspicious of him. Alfred never trusted him to begin with and Damian was ready to fight him at the moment's notice.
So the road wasn't easy, but they have decided to accept the fact that (Y/N) is with Ra's and try to be civil. Really try to be civil. Bruce is trying. Jason and Damian are trying for (Y/N). Not for Ra's.
But there was just something darker about (Y/N) that Ra's liked and what attracted him to the young man. He is different than Bruce and the others. Before being adopted by Bruce, he was put through hell and back and that caused him to be rather... Morally grey.
It made his character strong and he had a certain degree of... Well, lets just say that he was terrifying to people. Sometimes, he was more brutal than Batman. The hell he went through he went as a child made him numb to certain things and brutal in some aspects.
Ra's wondered if he has ever crossed the line and killed. Of course, he didn't say anything about that because Damian and Alfred would have his head if he tried to explore that opportunity.
But Ra's thought about (Y/N) if he was ever a villain, what type he would be? Ra's could think about. He could see how he could be brutal and he could even rule the underworld. His brutality, his intelligence...
But (Y/N) was too loyal to his father and family to even consider being a villain. Alfred and Bruce are just to blame for (Y/N) not becoming a villain. Did Ra's really want him to be a villain? God no.
He could probably be worse than the League of Light combined and that was a scary thought. Even big Ra's al Ghul was scared of betraying (Y/N). He loved (Y/N), he really did and he would never ever betray his lover, his beloved.
And if something were to happen and Ra's betrayed (Y/N), although Ra's wouldn't, (Y/N) would burn down the League. Ra's was certain of it. But there was a side of (Y/N) that Ra's didn't know just yet.
Even now as the two laid together in bed, just ready to go to bed, Ra's decided to ask (Y/N) the question that was on his mind.
" (Y/N), what would you do if I ever betrayed you? " Ra's asked, hugging (Y/N) from behind, murmuring the words into (Y/N)'s hair. (Y/N) always enjoyed Ra's proximity.
" Ra's, I have killed over 200 people that not even Bruce knows about. I would think about it before doing it. "
Ra's thought that (Y/N) was joking and laughed, but (Y/N) turned around in his arms and looked him dead in the eyes.
" Ra's, I'm not kidding. " (Y/N) said and Ra's searched for any sort of sign that (Y/N) was joking.
There was none.
" What? "
" That's all you need to know. " (Y/N) said as he turned his back to Ra's, moving his hands to its original position. Ra's looked at the back of (Y/N)'s neck and paled.
What?
Sure, he thought about (Y/N) crossing the line, but he didn't think that (Y/N) has actually done it. Now he had to think about who the hell he was courting and he had planned to propose in the near future, but he had to see what the hell has happened.
200+ people is not a small amount and there had to be something where he could search about it. It shouldn't be so difficult to find the event that (Y/N) was talking about. It really shouldn't be.
Right?
None the less, Ra's loved (Y/N) and he will propose, but only when he looks more into it. How the hell did he miss this side? The side that crossed the line that Bruce outright refused to cross, (Y/N) has crossed without any hesitation?
Ra's blinked a few times. No. He will look into it and tomorrow morning, over breakfast, he will ask him to give him more details about the... Could it be labeled as a massacre? Ra's left that thought and closed his eyes, falling asleep next to his beloved.
Breakfast came that morning and the two ate in silence, just enjoying the food and coffee. (Y/N) had to have his coffee and his caffeine, otherwise he wouldn't function at all. Ra's thought about breaking the topic. How to do it?
Well, just asking will do the trick. No beating around the bush.
" (Y/N), " Ra's started as he took a sip of his coffee, glancing at his beloved who was eating. (Y/N) paused and Ra's knew that he had to do it now. " Did you tell me the truth last night? About those 200 people? "
(Y/N) blinked a few times and then he put the mug down.
" If it's something sensitive, you don't have to talk about it. But it would help me understand. I have never seen a side of you that has crossed the line. " Ra's said and (Y/N) smiled reaching his for Ra's hands. Ra's extended his hand to (Y/N) and the two interlocked their hands.
" It's not sensitive, don't worry. I was on my own mission while doing my own case. Bruce was aware of the case and the mission too. What he didn't know is what has happened on that mission. All of those people were evil and vile people. " (Y/N) said, stopping for a second to ear some more. He did love Arabic breakfast after all.
" Now, nobody would miss them. And at that moment, it was me or them. Of course, I didn't kill 200 people at once. It was over a 3 day period. And I would like to say, me or them. " (Y/N) said and Ra's has decided not to pry anymore.
(Y/N) has just told him the truth and that was all that mattered.
" I have to say, that eases me a little bit. You have scared a bit last night when you told me that, so serious too. " Ra's said, chuckling quietly, squeezing (Y/N)'s hand once more.
" Sorry about it. But you can't tell Bruce at all. " (Y/N) said and Ra's said of course. It's not really life threatening so Bruce doesn't have to know anything about it.
" Of course I won't. " Ra's said and (Y/N) removed his own hand from his and showed him his pinky finger.
" Pinky promise Ra's? " (Y/N) said and Ra's smiled, indulging (Y/N).
" Pinky promise. " Ra's said as he leaned closer to (Y/N)'s face, giving him a kiss. (Y/N) smiled into the kiss and has moved to sit in Ra's lap.
" I wish I could spend the day with you beloved, but I have work to do." Ra's said after breaking the kiss, caressing (Y/N)'s cheek.
" I have work to do too. We will meet for lunch? " (Y/N) asked and Ra's nodded, giving him one last kiss and (Y/N) hopped off of Ra's lap.
" Later Ra's. "
" Later beloved. "
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softrozene · 1 year
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Reacting to Dutch Wanting a Night with Their Girl
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Anonymous requested: Okay, so, I’ve had this in my head for a while. Dutch is a gross old guy who likes pretty young ladies, right? Well, Arthur/John/Javier has this real cute and super affectionate little thing on his arm. What? They’re married/engaged/dating? No, it’s fine. He taught that boy how to read! Giving up his girl for a night isn’t that big of a deal, he’s sure asking them in the middle of camp will go well. 
rdr2 masterlist
ALJSFDASKL This is so long omg. Let me know if you wanted something specific or anything- Wasn’t too sure if it was a request but I had to give my input. This is how I thought they would react and lmao this was super fun. 
Originally published on January 5, 2021
Arthur, Javier, John x Female Reader
Warnings: Dutch is super gross in this - We don’t stan, we do stan the three who stick up for their girl, Dutch is vulgar - I really did Dutch dirty in this but it was bound to happen eventually.
Words: ~900
Okay, one thing they all share in common is if it were you saying that Dutch said something to you, they would all be hesitant. Like “Nah, he didn’t mean it that way” or “Are you sure he said that?” or “I’ll go talk to him”- Then they end up doubting you as Dutch lies his way out of it (Yes, they would sadly be the dudes that apologizes for their friend’s behavior too)
They are hesitant only because Dutch did offer them a chance as part of the family in the gang- He did give them a decent chance at life and as anon said- Taught them to read and write. They see him as someone they owe a great lot to- so if you suddenly talk bad about him, they will want to defend him, or he will point the blame at you
In other words, their loyalty to Dutch will for sure make them not believe you at first
However- If they witness it that is an entirely different story:
Charles wasn’t asked for, but I will say since he is not that close with Dutch other than respecting him for being treated well in the gang, he will straight-up knock out Dutch the second he hears anything vulgar- Or whether you inform him. You matter more than the gang and he will defend you
 Arthur Morgan-
You have been skittish lately. That does not sit well with Arthur since you are only skittish with Dutch around- He thinks it is just because you are shy and nothing else until-
Dutch- Sweet, old, crazy Dutch comes up to the both of you, more so looking at Arthur in an expecting way and asks for a night with you- With others as witnesses nonetheless?
All of you would be stunned-
Dutch has a fucking serious tone- Arthur will be frozen then just stare at him for the longest time
“Dutch- You drunk?”
“What? Son, I would never- I was simply asking a hypothetical ‘what if’ question since you have such a divine being hanging on your arm all the time. You can’t deny the chemistry we have when we look- Hey now, don’t give me that look, Son. You know I would only ask if it would benefit you-“
He would keep saying creepy things along those lines and Arthur just snaps
Either by straight-up punching him in the face- Tackling him- Anything, no one can pry him off of Dutch until he good and satisfied that this once honorable man he looked up to will never gaze upon you again in that creepy face
He loses all respect for Dutch and Dutch’s confidence with how he thought he could get Arthur’s girl for a night
Everyone is wary and on edge, but it is for the better
Molly probably opens up her eyes
 John Marston-
Dutch does not even have to say anything- John notices the looks he has been giving you and he does not like it one bit
Dutch would not go to him first- Instead, John would confront him in the middle of the camp and be like “You serious right now Dutch? Eyeing my woman when I am right here, and Molly is over there?”
Dutch will respond: “I ain’t touching- I am just looking.” Or “Can you blame me? Look at her.”
“That is low- Even for you Dutch”
If Dutch even tries to defend himself, be fancy with his words, or place the blame on you- You can bet John will not hold back- The boys will have to pry him off Dutch (after letting John get a few hits in because Dutch ain’t as sly as he thinks he is)
This really is one of the worse things John has seen and he won’t stand with it (depending on how much he cares about you tbh) Like if he sees you as his wife you bet, he is ready to ditch the gang again but with you this time
We’re pretending Abigail and Jack are in a healthy place- Not this universe lamflasd
 Javier Escuella-
I really hate to say this guys but the way Javier reacts depends on what chapter you are in- In the gang.
Before Chapter 5+6 he would react on your behalf-
“Dutch- Did you really ask if you can borrow mi amor?”
He is pissed- He is beyond livid, he will try to be calm and collected but that will not last long and he will act on your behalf demanding Dutch respects you
If this happens after 5 and during 6- He will really think about it
He already betrayed Arthur and John, the gang is falling apart, all he has is Dutch and you- So he will really consider it (but I doubt he would let Dutch go through with it)
After Chapter 6 though- He will not hesitate to cut a bitch Dutch
He realized that he really lost the family that had his back, and it is all because of Micah and Dutch so if Dutch has the gall to ask him after everything you all went through- It is on- He will fight for your honor and he will apologize constantly afterward for helping to ruin the family you both loved and shared
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didyoubringauntienat · 7 months
Text
Meeting the Storm
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(Gif not mine)
Summary: Y/n and Natasha have been dating for seven months but Natasha has never met Y/n’s family. Only when they have dinner with them that she realises why Y/n isn’t in contact with them.
Word Count: 1129 words
Warnings: angst, homophobic slurs, homophobia, more of a vent than a fanfic, rushed writing (tell me if I’ve missed anything)
Taglist: @stephanieromanoff @haeva @lilaloubear @natashasilverfox @marvelonmymind
You and Natasha have been together for just over seven months and ever since you made it official with her they’ve been begging to meet your family, just like now. “Please Y/nnnn you’ve met my family, it's only fair that I meet yours…” She gives you her best puppy eyes but today it’s not working.
“First off, your ‘family’ is our work colleagues so I was bound to meet them and secondly the answer is no. My family isn't the kind that you bring people home for them to meet.” You ignore her frown as she follows you around the room, watching you unpack from your most recent mission.
“Have you ever brought someone home to meet them?”
“No…”
She smirks as she knows that she’s caught you there. “Well how do you know that they are that kind of family?”
You pause for a moment in what you’re doing. She does have a point, what if they are super nice to her but then again they could treat her just like they treat you. You did see how it was unfair to Natasha on keeping her from meeting them but at the end of the day you weren’t sure you wanted her to see this side of your life.
You feel soft hands gently start rubbing your shoulders from behind. “How about we have dinner with them? You can decide where and when, and as soon as they make either of us feel uncomfortable we’ll leave okay?” She gently kisses the back of your neck before resting her chin on your shoulder blade. “I just really want to meet the people who made the love of my life”
You sigh softly and bow your head. “Fine… but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Natasha squeals before kissing your cheek repeatedly before she runs into your shared wardrobe. “Please don’t let them fuck this up…”
Natasha sat with you on the edge of the bed as you called your parents that night. She couldn’t stop smiling when she heard them agree to meet you at Valentino’s with your siblings as they were also free. Great.
Natasha had decided to wear a short red dress that made you water at the mouth when she first came out in it and you definitely tried to use your reaction against her so you didn’t have to go out. “Baby no. There will be plenty of time to deal with your horniess later, now get dressed” She smirks and gives you a slow kiss before yanking herself off your lap so she could go fix her makeup.
You sighed before sorting out your blouse. “Do we have to go?”
“Yes babe, they’re expecting us and besides they’re probably already on their way to the restaurant so it’s too late to cancel.” She turns around and smiles at you before walking over and cupping your face in her soft hands. “How about after dinner we go to a bar? Just the two of us?”
You nod softly before standing up, making her let go of your cheeks. “Let’s just get this over with”
“Y/n! There you are! We thought you were going to flake on us.” You stop yourself from rolling your eyes when you hear your father’s booming voice but you don’t hold back the frown that forms when you see that all your siblings decided to come.
“Hey dad…” you pull out a chair for Natasha and rest your hand on her shoulder once she’s sat down. “I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff” You ignore the way your brother frowns and whispers something to your sister.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you all, I’ve heard so much about you.” Natasha smiles which your parents warmly return along with your youngest two siblings.
“It’s lovely to meet you dear, where did you and Y/n meet?” Your mother smiled at Natasha as she looked at the menu.
“We worked together and through that we just got closer until feelings developed.” You feel her softly pull your hand into her lap, her thumb gently rubbing the back of it.
As your mother and Natasha carried on talking, you couldn’t help but stare at your brother who was already smirking at you from across the table.
“Is everyone ready to order?” You looked away from your brother and to your menu. You nod gently when you decide on just having a pizza. You can feel Natasha squeeze your hand and frown at you but you ignore her, too busy trying to control your emotions.
“So Y/n, when were you going to tell us that you’re a dyke? Did she turn you gay Natasha?”
You look up and glare at him. “Don’t you dare even look at her.”
Your brother just laughs at you as he finishes his drink. “Am I wrong? Look at her then look at you, it’s not right.”
“Dad shut him up before I do it.”
“Y/n stop it. You're the oldest for crying out loud. If you feed into it then he’ll never stop.” Your father just sighs as he pours himself another glass of water.
You sigh and get up. “Come on Nat we’re leaving. I told you that I didn’t want to see them and now you know why. So get your purse we’re leaving. Pleasure to see you all. See you all in hell.” You storm out without even a glance back, not even when your mum started to plead for you to come back. You only stopped when you felt the fresh night air hit you.
“Y/n…” You didn’t turn around. You couldn’t just yet. “I’m so sorry baby… I didn’t realise it was that bad. I know I’ve heard stories but they’re nothing like the real thing…”
There’s silence for a moment before you finally speak. “It’s okay… it’s his fault I acted like that. Not yours” You hold her hand and give her a small smile. “Let’s just go home, yeah?”
She nods softly before gently pulling you towards where you parked only to stop and pull you into a passionate kiss. “I love you okay? I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you and I’m going to keep telling you this so you’ll never forget.”
“You know I’m going to marry you one day.” You peck her lips before grinning. “Come on. I’m pretty sure you owe me a drink.”
“Um, I'm pretty sure I said I’ll take you to a bar. Nothing about buying you a drink.” She grins as she walks backwards away from you. “How about the first one to the car gets the first round?”
You smirk “you’re so on” you go to run but before you realise Natasha is already running off, her heels in her hands.
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bokutos-biddys · 1 year
Note
hiii! i loved your distraction fic with xavier so i was just wondering if you could write a ajax x fem or gn reader fic please 🥲
ignore this is you don't want to lmao
-More Pressing Matters-
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Ajax Petropolus X Reader
First I didn’t write distraction (wish I did) that was just a reblog. Ummmmmm I really didn’t know what to do for this one sooooooo yeah. It’s kinda bad becuase I really didn’t know what to write so this is just word vomit really
Make-out cause what would I wright without that and reader is Xaiver’s sibling. No gendered pronouns and reader isn’t referred to as anything other than ‘you’
———
“Um, phosphorus?” You answer, and it’s incredibly clear that you are not confident in what you’re saying.
“Nope.” Ajax says, flipping the note card in his hand for you to see. You’re both seated on your bed, facing each other while Ajax flips through note cards, quizzing you. “I’m never gonna get this.” You sigh, leaning your head back.
“Oh come on, you’ve got this. I’d expect you to be the one quizzing me.” He replies, flipping through the remaining note cards.
“There’s only a few left, we could watch a movie afterwards?” He questions, moving closer to you. “I’d love to.” You reply.
“Ok, what is the twenty-sixth element on the periodic table?” He asked, looking up at you through his eyelashes.
“Um, Boron?” You answer, tilting your head a bit.
He sighs, dropping the notecards. “Ok, what’s going on? I know you know this. You’re acing chemistry, I’ve seen your test scores.” He says, staring at you with a confused face.
“I- ” crap, how are you going to get out of this one? You’ll admit you might have been lying not truthing about how much you were struggling in chemistry but… ok you don’t really have a good excuse.
You sigh in defeat, you might as well confess.
“I was hoping you might take the hint and ask me out. I’ve been pretending to be awful at this so you’d offer a coffee date or something.” You pout, crossing your arms.
“Is that what it is? Wait, that came out wrong. I mean yes I like you but I never thought you would like me back. Especially because of Xaiver-“
“My brother doesn’t control me, he can worry about it all he wants but in the end the decision is mine.” You cut him off, a stern tone in your voice. You move yourself closer to him before resting a hand on his chest.
“So if you like me, and I like you, does that mean this is a date? You’re my boyfriend? And all that comes with?” You ask, leaning into him.
“Um” he mutters, staring at your lips, then you, then your lips, then you, this goes on for a minute. Finally he lets out a long sigh. “Xaiver’s gonna kill me.” He says before pushing forward.
His lips are soft. You don’t know why you expected anything else but it’s the first thing you notice. Honestly everything about this is soft. He holds your face like you’re some delicate piece of artwork, something that could shatter with the smallest touch.
And the shutter of his breath he lets out when the both of you pull away is deafening. You, personally, don’t really like the distance between the two of you so you start to lean back in before Ajax stops you.
“Don’t. You kiss me again I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.” He whispers, pupils dilated more than you've ever seen them.
“And if I don’t want you to stop?” You ask, making it so there was barely a centimeter of space between the two of you.
He answers by pressing his lips to yours again. He’s not holding back you realize, it's all very enticing. He’s pushing forward, faster than you can lean back. Leading to you underneath him while he has a hand by your head and one resting on your waist. He’s able to pull all these quiet moans from your mouth all while simultaneously keeping you breathless.
“What the fuck is going on?” A shout makes you jerk apart from one another. Ugh, you hadn’t even noticed the door opening.
Despite the fact you have very firmly told Xaiver to knock he still clearly believes that he may barge in without warning whenever he likes. And despite the fact you have your clear annoyance written in your face Xaiver still thinks it appropriate to glare at the both of you. If looks could kill you believe Ajax would be far further than six feet under.
“Well, while you were busy moaning over your terrible love life, I was busy getting some. So if you don’t mind, I would like to get back to it.” You respond, getting up to push him out.
“Now wait, I believe I told you both to stay away from each other. How could you? Behind my back!” He pointed an accusing finger at Ajax. Who, in truth, looked ready for the ground to swallow him whole.
“And I told you that you don’t control me. So go back to painting or whatever and let me have this.” You said, finally pushing him out the door with a final shove.
He shouts from beyond the door but the both of you ignore it.
“I really don’t think he’s just going to drop the subject.” Ajax says, biting his lip.
“I don’t think a relationship between us is the end of the world. So if that's what he wants to worry about I’m not going to care much.” You reply, walking over to him before straddling his lap.
“There are more pressing matters.” You whisper with lidded eyes, your hands roaming up his shoulders.
“Yep, definitely, I agree.” He says quickly before meeting your lips once again.
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daughterofcain-67 · 1 month
Text
𝒞𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝒟𝒾𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 (𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁)
(Dean Winchester x Artist/Bartender! Female Reader)
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(𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓉 1) (𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓉 2)
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: An argument leads Dean into finally confessing the truth of his career but before you can make the choice on whether or not you believe Dean you find out some disturbing news which awakens you to a harsh reality.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: character death (oc) i think that’s it
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Things were about as tense as you thought they would be,. You had never felt this uncomfortable in your own home until this very moment as you stood here with Dean. But you supposed for the sake of your own sanity, you knew you would have to break the ice somehow.
“Make yourself at home I guess, agent.” You spoke and motioned for him to have a seat on the couch.
Dean walked further into your home and he straightened up the jacket from his suit, uncertain if he should bother with taking it off or not. But then something caught his eye. Dean started walking towards wine of your bookshelves, the one that had several sketchbooks you had from over the years.
“You mind if I have a look at one of these?” Dean asked.
You glanced over and saw he was looked it through your bookshelves. “Sure, have at it.”
Then you sat down on your windowsill and picked up your current sketchbook once more so you could get back to work on the cover art you were asked to do. Meanwhile, Dean pulled out a random book and he was slowly going through the pages.
As Dean looked at your work, he was amazed at the detail you put into it. You’ve definitely improved your skills over the years, though back in the day he didn’t know how you could have possibly gotten better. Obviously he was wrong.He continued to look through different sketchbooks but then there was one that he hadn’t expected to find.
This one had a photograph of the two of you glued to the first page. Then as Dean flipped through the pages he realized you had drawn pictures of him, each of them were dated and from what he could tell you often wondered what he would look like over the years or even what he did for a living, judging from the different uniforms you drew him in.
“I didn’t think you’re talents could get any better. You were already really good back then.” Dean finally spoke, but you ignored him.
Dean looked up at you and saw you were focused on your artwork. He closed the book he had in his palm before he put it back on the bookshelf and he walked over.
“What are you working on now?” He asked and started looking over your shoulder. He watched as you were drawing some sort of steampunk looking piece, as if it were some sort of Cinderella alternate reality.
“Cover ideas.” Your shortness didn’t surprise him but it still stung nonetheless. He let out a sigh before he tried to speak again.
“Look, at the bar I didn’t mean for you to misunderstand anything. I was really happy to see you there.”
“Dean, what was there to misunderstand? You’re an agent here to do a job and walk right out of my life all over again, leaving me with no clue as to where you’re going or if you even care to see me ever again. Danielle was right. And I should have forgotten about you decades ago.”
“It’s not as heartless as it sounds. I can’t afford to just catch up with anyone i want to, I can’t afford any kind of closeness with anybody. You have no idea how many enemies I’ve made with this job, how many innocent lives have been ruined, how many people have gotten hurt or worse just because they knew me.” Dean tried to explain but you scoffed and tossed your sketchbook to the side.
“That’s a coward’s answer. Lots of FBI agents have families. That means they’re brave enough to take the risk. But I get it, a simple conversation that isn’t work related isn’t worth the risk. I’m not worth the risk, I get it.”
“Y/N, that’s not what I’m saying!”
“Isn’t it though? It may not be your exact words but that’s the implication.” You got up from your spot and started walking to the kitchen.
Dean’s jaw tightened and his brows narrowed before he started to follow you into the kitchen.
“Alright, you want the truth?! This job sucks and I’ve gotten attached to people like you and the moment I let my guard down, ninety percent of the time those people die. Knowing me is a death sentence. My brother and I have lost too many people because of it. I can’t let you die like that because some monster takes it upon itself to break in and gut you up just because you know me.”
You, under the impression Dean was using the word ‘monster’ as some term for a serial killer or some sick sort of human being, scoffed. “Please, I’m plenty capable of protecting myself against some killer. You make it sound like the Boogyman’s after you.”
“The thing that killed your friend could easily kill you too and you can’t protect yourself from any of them, Y/N! You don’t know the kind of shit that’s out there. I didn’t expect you to be a part of this job and trust me if you weren’t involved I wouldn’t even be here.”
“Thanks, Dean. That makes me feel a thousand times better. And what kind of thing do you think will come after me, huh? Nothing could be that bad. Bad people do eventually get caught.” You said and you opened the refrigerator door to grab something to drink.
Dean rubbed a hand over the lower half of his face, wondering if he really needed to risk telling you the truth after all. You were being so difficult but you didn’t even understand the shit he’s ever seen.
“The think that’s killing your coworkers and your boss’ wife isn’t just any bad guy. You have no idea what we’re going up against.” Dean’s voice was a little calmer, yet still deadly serious. You turned around to see if he’d elaborate or if he’d keep you in the dark just as he always has.
“The business that I told you I was in with my brother and my dad… it’s sort of um.. a traveling extermination business. Sam isn’t my partner in the FBI. Neither of us are agents. He’s my brother, and we hunt monsters. Vampires, werewolves, demons, doppelgängers… every ugly ass creature you can think of, we’ve probably killed before.” Dean finally confessed.
Your brows arched upward with shock. This was the excuse Dean decided to give you? This was why he avoided you all these years and he really expected you to believe he was hunting monsters like Van Helsing? Yeah right.
“Monsters? Really? Dean if you aren’t going to tell me the truth I think you should just leave. I don’t want to see you around here anymore.” You said, growing angrier the more you saw him, hurting even more knowing he would lie to your face like this.
“Y/N, name someone in this town that would gut innocent people and steal their hearts. That’s something a werewolf has been known to do in my field and they are stronger than you can handle.” He was still insisting you believe these lies?!
“Dean, I’m serious. I’m not buying this story of yours, okay? Why don’t you just go with Sam to make sure Danielle and her boyfriend are alright.” You said and when you went to brush past him, you felt his strong grip on your upper arm and you looked up at him.
“This isn’t just a story, Y/N. It’s the ugly reality.” He told you and you searched his eyes.
What the hell had Dean seen over the years that made him so sincere about this? You swore he had to be crazy if he expected you to believe this whole monster thing like he believed it. But before you could ask any questions about it, Dean’s phone started ringing.
Dean sighed a little before he let go of your arm just to answer the phone, figuring it must’ve been Sam.
“Sam? What’s happening?”
“Dean, it was Danielle’s boyfriend. He was one of them. Danielle and I were safe and I took care of Chris but maybe one of his guys broke in and knocked me out or something. I can’t find Danielle anywhere. They took her belongings too. I don’t know where they could have taken her.” Sam said on the other line.
You must’ve heard bits and pieces of what Sam was saying because when Dean looked at you, he saw the stunned expression on your face and he watched as you started looking around to find your shoes to put on.
“Are you sure they took her? What if she had something to do with it? Did you do the test on her?” Dean asked.
“Test? What test? Dean what the hell is going on?!” You asked, wanting to know if your friend was alright. What test could they have possibly been talking about? None of this made any sense.
“I’ll explain in a second just hang on, alright? Sam, how fast can you get here?” Dan asked, turning his attention back to his brother.
“I couldn’t tell you. You and I may have to meet somewhere on foot. They took the car.” Sam said and Dean’s eyes went wide.
“You let them take the car?! What happened to you being the responsible brother, huh?” Dean asked and he ran a hand through his hair.
“Wait wait.. I found something. Dean it’s a notebook with all the workers’ addresses on them. Y/N’s name is circled. She’s bound to be next and I don’t see Danielle’s name anywhere on this list.” Sam explained and that was when Dean heard the familiar roar of the impala from outside.
“I think she’s here. Sam, You need to find Nelson and find out what the hell happened on that hunt.” Dean said sternly and your brows narrowed with confusion.
“Nelson? How can he be a part of this? What hunt are you talking about? He’s not a hunting kind of guy.” You said, thinking Dean meant hunting wildlife and you still refused to believe this whole monster killing story.
Dean hung up the phone before he looked over at you while shoving the phone in his pocket, “You need to go in your room. Lock the door and don’t you dare come out until I tell you it’s safe.”
“Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on, Winchester! What happened to my friend?”
Dean shook his head, “She stopped being your friend a long time ago. I need you to just trust me and stay out of the way until I tell you it’s safe. I promise I’ll explain everything when this is over.”
As much as you desperately wanted to argue with Dean, you could tell from the look on his face that he wasn’t going to argue because this was no longer up for any debate, let alone discussion. You bit your tongue to keep from saying anything else and you walked towards your bedroom and shut the door behind you. But you didn’t lock the door as Dean advised. If what Dean was saying was really true, then you had to see it for yourself.
Dean took the gun he had from behind his back and he made sure there was plenty of ammunition. Once he found he had plenty of silver bullets on him, he made sure to keep it on him so he’d be prepared for when Danielle would come in. No wonder she seemed hesitant to leave with Sam. She had a job to do and he was willing to bet she was the one that killed Callie. Some actress.
Before Dean could even think about anything else, the door was suddenly kicked down and not only was it Danielle that walked through the door but there were two guys that were about Sam’s height dressed in leather like they were a couple of bikers from the bar or something. Sort of matched the charisma, or lack of, that Callie’s former boyfriend was talking about.
“Well well… You were just gonna spend the night with your friend and when she least expected it, you’d kill her like you killed Callie, huh?” Dean said as he lifted the gun to aim at their direction.
“Oh what would you know. Nelson deserves what he’s got coming. But it serves him right to watch everything he worked for fall apart, just like he did with my father’s pack.” Danielle seethed.
You could faintly hear the conversation from behind your bedroom door and your heart sank. Danielle was going to kill you? That was why she asked if she could spend the night? Why would she do that? She was one of your good friends, or at least that’s what you hoped. Clearly you were wrong, but what was this talk about a pack?
You reached up and carefully turned the knob, doing your best to keep quiet and you slowly started to open the door so you could hear things a little bit better. You simply cracked it open, not wanting to give your location away completely.
“Come on, you know Y/N better than anyone and you knew Callie better than anyone. You know damned well neither of them deserve what you’re doing to them. They’re good people and you know it.” You could hear Dean say but Danielle scoffed.
“My father was a good man before your kind took it upon yourselves to massacre my family! We never hunted anyone, strictly animals because my father wanted to be civilized. Live under the radar and stay clear of hunters. But Nelson… Nelson decided all of us are the same ugly things that keep you up at night. When he killed my family there was anarchy. I took the lead and said to Hell with it, we’re going after Nelson in the most.. traditional.. way possible. Show him the monsters he wanted us to be.” You could hear Danielle say, but your heart sank down to your feet.
Dean was right, she must’ve never been your friend if this was her plan all along. You felt so naive, gullible and stupid.
“Come on, Danielle, don’t make me pull this trigger on you and your friends. You think this is what your family would have wanted you to become?” Dean retorted.
“Who cares how I avenge them. This is how I’m getting my payback against Nelson and I’m not letting you, Sam, or any other hunter stand in my way.” Danielle said and from what you heard a fight broke out after that.
You heard furniture get moved around, you flinched at the sound of a vase shattering to the floor. Slowly, you moved to where you could look through the crack in the door. You finally saw the truth of what was out there. Your friend and her two companions had fangs, their fingernails turned to claws, their eyes changed color. You couldn’t believe what you saw, and you didn’t think werewolves could possibly be real. All of it felt so unbelievable.
Your eyes widened when you saw Dean get knocked to the ground. You didn’t know what to do but you could tell that Dean was starting to lose the fight. Everything in your was screaming to help him but you didn’t know how to fight these things. What if you did something wrong and Dean died because of you?
Still, as Dean was wrestling with one of the werewolves on the floor you saw him drop the gun and the weapon slid on the ground towards your door. This was your chance to do something. You just hoped that things wouldn’t go wrong.
You took in a deep breath before you opened the door wider and stepped out of the room.
Dean heard the door creaking open and he saw you standing there. Were you nuts?! What the hell were you doing?!
“Y/N! Get back inside!” He called out but he watched as you ignored him and rushed to get to the gun and you picked it up.
You could feel your heart beating fast and before you could think, you realized one of the wolves was coming after you and you aired the gun and you closed your eyes before you took a shot. When you opened one of your eyes, you saw that the werewolf was on the ground with a gunshot wound to the chest.
The werewolf above Dean was distracted by the gunshot and when the creature looked over at you, Dean took the opportunity take a shot and kick the werewolf off of him. Then, Dean rushed over to you while you were stunned about what you’ve done.
“It’s okay, Y/N. You did what you needed to, now go back to the room and I’ll finish up.” Dean said and you hesitantly nodded as you backed away and stayed in your room but you couldn’t help but to keep watching everything unfold in front of you.
You watched as Dean was fighting both Danielle and the other man she came with and Dean managed to shoot the man Danielle was with and she knocked out your former friend. The next thing you knew, Dean stood over the unconscious creature and shot her in the heart so she’d never wake up again.
You didn’t know what you should be feeling in that moment. Should you be angry that Danielle was never your friend, but a monster? Should you be angry that Dean had knocked out the person you thought was your ally?
When you slowly walked out of your bedroom again you walked over to your friend. You saw the claws on her fingers and her fangs still showed. You wondered if this was just some sort of never-ending nightmare. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do and it felt like you had been blind to so many things your entire life. Your world was turning upside down.
Dean saw the look on your face as you looked down at the corpse. He could tell you were questioning so many things right now and he never wanted things to be this way. He never wanted you to get wrapped up in this horrific bullshit of a hunting life and he never wanted you to know what was out there.
“Do you believe me now?” He asked softly, but you gave him no response.
“Y/N… I never wanted you to find out about any of this. That’s why I never told you much about my family or what we did.” He said in a gentler tone and you ran your fingers though your hair.
“Well now I know, Dean. I can’t just unsee everything that just happened.” You said softly and you felt a soft hand on your shoulder. You looked up and saw Dean looking up at you.
“Is it at least over now?” You asked.
“I’m not sure. It should be over if Danielle was the leader of this new pack, but I have to check with Sam if there were any indications of any other members of the pack and if he got in contact with Nelson again.” Dean replied and you looked back down at the body.
“She was the sweet one out of the three of us. She seemed so concerned about Callie when we hadn’t heard from her for several days… I never would’ve seen the attack coming.”
Dean frowned a little when you spoke, knowing all of this had to be a lot to take in for you.
“Let me call Sam and see if he’s got everything squared away on his end, if he was able to talk to Nelson and everything.” He said and you nodded as you walked away from the bodies and went to your bedroom again.
Dean watched you walking away, knowing your life was forever altered at this point. He pulled out his phone again and he dialed up Sam’s number. Luckily he didn’t need to wait long for an answer.
“Dean? Are you guys okay?”
“Yeah… turns out Danielle wasn’t as innocent as she lead on. She and two other wolves are dead.”
“How did Y/N take all of it? She alright?”
“Honestly I don’t know, Sammy… It might take her a little time with Danielle specifically. You get in contact with Nelson?”
“Well… yes and no.” Sam replied and Dean lifted a brow.
“What do you mean?”
“Well when I tried calling him there was no answer. So I took a taxi to his house and when I walked in, it looked like another attack. I guess someone caught word that you were facing the new leader and they wanted to make sure the main goal was accomplished so it looks like they killed Nelson before I had the chance to talk to him.”
“Shit… so what does that mean? Do you think they’ll still go after people working in the bar?” Dean asked.
“I’m not so sure… I think we may need to stay a few days and lie low to see what happens. It’s better to be safe than sorry.” Sam insisted and Dean looked over at your bedroom and saw you sitting on the corner of your bed, disassociating because of everything that transpired.
“Yeah… That might the best option. You think you can swing by to help me take care of these bodies and get Y/N somewhere safe? You said the werewolves had addresses in that notebook right? I think she may need to stay with us for a few days just incase anyone tries to go after her again.” Dean insisted.
“Yeah, just give me about fifteen minutes and I’ll be there.”
When Sam and Dean hung up, Dean walked over to the bedroom and towards you. He knelt in front of you and saw you were just spacing out and thinking of so many different things, he could practically see it on your face how lost you were.
“Hey, you’re gonna be okay. I promise.” He said and he placed a hand on one of your knees, which broke your trance and you looked down at his hand then back at him.
“Dean… I’ve never even shot a gun at a person before… I just killed someone.” You said in such a timid little tone.
“Y/N, you’ve got to realize that wasn’t a person. None of them were. Not anymore. They would have killed you, your coworkers, and who knows who else they would have killed if you hadn’t helped stop them.”
“Danielle… was a person to me. I can’t believe she lied to me like that. Then again what the hell do I know about anything anymore. You must think I’m so stupid for not listening to you before.” You scoffed and your eyes started welling up with tears, one slipping from your face and you swiftly wiped it away.
“It’s natural to have doubts. I know what I was telling you is hard for a lot of people to believe. I wasn’t expecting you to believe me instantly. Stuff like this isn’t easy to take in.” he continued and you looked back at Dean again.
“What am I supposed to do now? Where do I go from here? Am I going to get in trouble with the police? Surely my neighbors heard the gunshots.” You started to ramble.
“The cops are bound to show, but they still think Sammy and I are FBI agents. We claim self defense which unfortunately ended in fatalities.” Dean answered.
“You make it sound so simple.”
“This isn’t my first rodeo, Sweetheart.” Dean said before he moved his hand from your knee and he held one of your hands.
“But as far as beyond the police are concerned… We don’t know if there are more werewolves. So after Sam and I handle the police when they come, I think it would be better if you stayed with me and Sam. Just for a few days until we know there won’t be anymore attacks against you or any of your other coworkers. They have your address so we don’t think you’ll be safe here right now.” He continued.
You bit down on your bottom lip before you nodded a little, deciding to go with Dean after all. You didn’t exactly want to be alone after tonight, but maybe you’d be alright after a few days.
“Okay… Let me pack some clothes before I go with you.”
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A few days went by and things seemed to settle down. You had found out Nelson passed away and the cops connected Danielle to the murders so they believed Dean’s claim of self defense. Not that you were really surprised. Dean seemed to be a pretty good liar when it came to the cops.
There weren’t anymore threats against you at least that you knew of, and now that it’s been a week of silence, Dean said it was safe for you to go back home and now you were riding with him in the impala.
The car ride was quiet, as if the both of you knew this week long journey was coming to a close and you weren’t sure if you would ever see him again. You wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t see him again, knowing he’d more than likely say the same things as he did in the argument before the attack. It was disheartening to know that Dean didn’t want to take a chance.
When the two of you made it to your apartment, it was like nothing had ever happened. Only because Sam and Dean went out of their way to clean up the bodies. Naturally some things did need some replacing like the vase, or the living room couch that had been splattered with blood, but you would get those things on your own since you had been looking into buying a new couch anyway. But it was sweet that Sam and Dean took it upon themselves to help as much as they could.
“Well… I guess this is the part where I take off.” Dean said and you looked over at him.
“Why don’t you stay for dinner? I’m a crummy cook but I can order something. My treat. It’s really the least I can do after you saved me and helped clean the place up after everything.” You insisted.
Lucky for you, Dean didn’t really put up much of a fight so he followed you into your home. Dean sat at one of the love seats since you no longer had a couch at the moment and you sat down on the recliner as you pulled out your laptop to see what you should order.
“Chinese sound alright to you?” You asked and Dean smiled a little.
“Whatever you want to order’s fine.” He replied and you pouted a little.
“Dean, this is supposed to be for you as a thank you. I need a little help here since I’m not exactly a mind reader.” You said and Dean let out a little chuckle before he tried to think.
“What about a burger and some fries?” He said then it was your turn to smirk.
“Diner food again? Sure.” You snickered, “Want anything else with that?”
“Maybe some pie.” Dean said and somehow you knew that was a must, considering he just went through a whole pie in three days during the week you stayed with them.
“Sure thing.” You insisted and you started placing the order online for delivery and a couple of minutes later, the order was completed.
“It should be here in thirty minutes or so.” You said, shutting your computer and you set it down on the coffee table.
“You know you didn’t have to order anything.” Dean replied and you smiled.
“Again, it’s the least I could do.” You insisted
You and Dean were watching a show just to think of how to kill some time but the two of you settled on some sort of cartoon. You and Dean couldn’t find anything decent so the Boomerang channel seemed to be a better option at least for the time being.
“Dean?”
“Hmm?”
“You don’t… have to hit the road after today, do you?” You asked and Dean looked at you.
“Well… I mean that’s what I normally do with cases. I never really stay in the same place for a long time. There’s a lot more than just werewolves to worry about and… and well it’s better if Sam and I kept on moving.” He said, looking away from you even though he could still feel your gaze on him.
“Don’t you ever just slow down? Catch a break? Surely there are other hunters out there that can handle the stuff you do.” You said and Dean shook his head.
“Not really… the stuff Sam and I see… they’re pretty much apocalyptic and we can’t put that on anyone else. It’s our responsibility, our burden to bare and it’s a death sentence to bring anyone else into it.” He said and you scoffed a little, causing him to look at you again.
“What?”
“You and your liking for the coward’s way out.” You said, recalling the argument again when he gave a shitty excuse as to why he didn’t get close to people.
“It’s not a coward’s way, Y/N. It’s reality. You saw yourself what’s out there. And I’m risking a lot just being here right now.” He said and you rolled your eyes before you got up and went to your room.
Dean lifted a brow before he got up and followed you. When he did he noticed you were looking for something and he couldn’t help but tilt his head as he leaned against the doorframe.
“What are you doing?” He asked.
“Looking for something.”
“I can see that.” He said and watched you pull out a box. He didn’t see a whole lot inside until you pushed it towards the end of the bed. That’s when he saw a few shirts and cassettes, mementos of that summer.
“You don’t realize how many lives you affect when you travel, Dean. I know I can’t possibly be the only girl you’ve come across just to leave behind. And from what I can tell, I’m not the only one that could have died but survived. But when you just leave people behind you take a piece of them with you and it’s like you don’t even realize it. You’re too blind with the whole idea of keeping your distance that you don’t realize the people you hurt along the way by not giving them a chance.”You began and Dean lifted a brow.
“Y/N, I’ve gave people chances and they still lose their lives. You’re right, you aren’t the only woman I’ve come across. But once I get too close they get killed. The last one got hurt severely so I had a friend erase her memory to forget everything about me. It’s to keep her safe and I can’t lose anyone else.” He told you.
“Do you realize how you’re making yourself sound, Dean?”
“What do you mean?”
“As far as hunting, you’re bound to be one of the strongest men that I know. Not that I know many- obviously. But what makes you a coward and what makes you selfish is the fact that you can’t allow yourself to be close to someone long enough to know if they’re willing to stay with you even if this life is tough. Hunting is scary shit, I know that now. But you don’t deserve to go through it alone. It’s unfair to you.” You said.
“I don’t deserve that sort of fairness. If you knew half the things I’ve done-“
“Do you think any of that matters to me, Dean?” You set the box down on the floor again before you walked towards him.
“I don’t know much of what you’ve done all these years, and I don’t know the pain you’ve gone through. But I know that no one should ever have to be alone like that. I can tell just by looking at you that you’ve been through a lot. You deserve to have someone by your side to at least give you some sort of relief from this life every once in a while, give you a break from your ‘apocalyptic’ stressors.” You said and took a bold move by taking one of his hands.
Dean looked down at your hand with his before lifting his gaze to meet your own.
“But what happens if you get hurt, or worse? I can’t stand that risk, not with someone like you.” He said gently and you sighed a little before you gave his hand a little squeeze.
“Didn’t you ever think about me accepting that risk? You can teach me a lot and I’m willing to learn. Obviously I won’t have as much experience as you and I never will, but you can teach me enough to defend myself so you won’t have to worry about me so much.” You were trying so hard to compromise and Dean could tell.
What seemed to surprise Dean the most was that you were actually willing to learn how to hunt. You were actually willing to be a part of this much shittier side of life. It was amazing that out of the choices you had, this was the one you were willing to make.
“What about your art? Or the bar?” He asked and you shrugged.
“I can still work on art. The bar was just to keep my lights on. And now that both my friends are dead… I don’t really have anything keeping me bartending.” You explained.
“But what if-“
“Stop with the what ifs and the hypotheticals. Please?” You said, practically begging him to stop trying to make excuses for you to not join him. You didn’t have anything left going for you here.
Dean looked down at the floor between both of you as he tried to think of his best options. So many things swirling through his head about how things could go wrong. How would be able to protect you? How quickly would you be able to learn everything he’d have to teach you? If anything they could always use the help with research while he and Sam were on the field. But what happens if you were researching while he and Sam were out on the field working and something happened to you while he wasn’t there?
You could practically see the gears turning in his mind with how so many things could go wrong and you reached up, touching his face gently.
“This is the kind of thing I’m talking about. You’re thinking about so much already. You have so much on your shoulders, I can see it.” You said softly and he started looking at you, gaze softening as he started to relax against your touch.
“You don’t deserve to carry that stress…” You whispered and leaned up and placed a kiss on his cheek, close to his mouth.
“Let me be at least some sort of distraction.” He listened to your voice barely above a whisper and he could barely feel your lips against his cheek.
Dean carefully moved his head and your faces were so close to each other. One small movement and he’d have his lips over yours if either of you simply leaned forward.
“Do you think you could handle everything you’d distract me from?” He asked, his mind slowly starting to open up to the idea of you coming along even if he still had an overwhelming reluctance within himself. Still, he felt your thumb lightly graze his cheekbone.
“I wouldn’t be asking to go with you if I wasn’t willing to try. I could never fathom everything. You’ve been through, but I can try to make it easier even if it’s for a moment.”
Dean tucked his bottom lip between his teeth as if he were still thinking about it before he lifted a hand and brought it to the back of your neck. He felt the way you seemed to melt into him but all he could think of was how he let Jo and Lisa down.
“Please… just give me a chance.” Your voice broke him from his thoughts, or at least a strand of them. Only to start a new strand.
Dean started to think of the two weeks he spent with you. Those two weeks he had never felt so normal, even happy because of you. It was like the hunting world hadn’t even existed for that amount of time when he was with you even if he was supposed to be working on a job. Seeing you happy and realizing he could make the world safe, make sure you were safe, that’s what gave him the reason to hunt that summer. He thought back to the drawing you had given him, knowing he had never forgotten you over the years and knew he never could. He remembered the way you made him feel and a part of him now was screaming not to let you go like that again. John wasn’t in the picture anymore to lecture him like a child about who he told about hunting. He was a grown man and you were a grown woman, and you were begging him to take you along. He knew you were capable after watching you kill one of the werewolves when you were attacked. So why shouldn’t you come along?
He remembered just how Jo passed, how so many others have passed and who he’s lost and his jaw tightened for a moment.
“You have to promise me that you’ll listen to everything I tell you on a hunt, swear that you’ll listen to every precaution Sam and I tell you. When there is a plan, you stick to the plan so you don’t get hurt.” He said, tone stern with a certain gentleness about it.
You softened, realizing that he’d likely be so cautious with you and you wondered just how many people he’s lost with this life. But you knew that’s something you might never know. You could tell it was taking a lot for him to even think about you coming along.
“Promise.” You swore.
Dean then leaned down and he was so close to pressing his lips on yours. Your noses barely brushed against each other with how close he was and eat somehow he was already at ease. He didn’t know exactly what made it so easy, but it had felt like ages since he was able to feel this calm, decades since his mind finally slowed down just because of a small action like this.
The abrupt sound of someone knocking on the door interrupted the moment and the both of you pulled away before you had the chance to kiss. The voice on the other side of the door alerted you that it was just the delivery guy. He heard the way you sighed with a little irritation and he cracked a small smile at the reaction.
He let go of you so you could tend to the guy at the door. After you paid the guy you set the food on the coffee table just as he was walking out of your bedroom. You were in the process of pulling everything out of the plastic bags but Dean kept his gaze on you.
“I’m not kidding, though.” Dean said, his mind going back to the roller coaster it always was, but you gazed up at him.
“I know you’re serious. I’m not a child, Dean. I’ll be careful, but you and Sam will still need to teach me a few things. Plans have to change sometimes and we have to adapt. Nothing in life is cut and dry so you’ll have to trust me to take care of myself too.” You said, and that was the part Dean may have the issue with at least for a while.
“That… may take me a little time to do.” He warned and you walked over and handed him the bag with his burger in it.
“Naturally.” You replied and he was surprised you were taking this so well.
“I’m not expecting things to be smooth right away and for you to be so nonchalant with me on a hunt. So long as you’ll eventually be able to trust me on these things, then it’ll be fine. I’m a bit of a fast learner so we’ll get there eventually.” You promised before you sat down.
Dean listened and smiled slightly. He knew you’d need that determination. It’d be a good thing to have especially when he and Sam were both so close to having enough when it came to facing demons and angels. But trust.. he knew that would be the biggest thing he’d need to work on.
Dean knew he could trust you with certain things. He could trust your willingness to learn, trust your ability to adapt to a changed plan quickly, but he didn’t trust other factors of a case and when things would inevitably go wrong. Maybe the more you’d be around, the more he’d get better at that.
Either way… it would be nice to have you around, at least to let him forget about his own personal hell once in a while.
“You gonna join me or am I going to have to eat and watch Scooby Doo by myself?” You asked, breaking Dean away again. He smiled before he walked over to join you in the living room where you moved the seats closer to the coffee table.
One day it will be easier to let his worries go, easier to let the weight on his shoulders get a little lighter, and Dean hoped that maybe, just maybe, you’d be the one that could help him along that journey.
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inanoldhousewrites · 10 months
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(you'll never) guess who's coming to dinner
It was clear as soon as Geralt walked in the door that something was bothering Jaskier. When he gave a kiss to his wife, Yennefer kissed back, but when he kissed the top of Jaskier’s head walking past, Jaskier leaned into it, but didn’t say anything. Quite the change from his usual response of dramatically demanding more. Geralt raised his eyebrow at Yennefer in question, but she just shook her head and shrugged.
Dinner was stilted. Jaskier was clearly distracted, but didn’t want to bring up whatever was bothering him. As soon as dinner was cleared away, however, Jaskier made a pass at them. It was not uncommon for one of them to work out their feelings through a round (or more) of vigorous sex, so Geralt and Yennefer followed him to the bedroom.
It was only after they’re sated and snuggling that Jaskier brought up what was on his mind.
“I know you don’t mind me sleeping with other people,” he begins, and Geralt tries not to tense because that was not the direction he expected. “But would you be okay if I maybe wanted to date someone?”
“Are you getting serious about Vespula?” Yennefer asked. “I thought you were currently off again.”
“No, it is. It’s not Vespula. I… met someone.”
“Hmm,” Geralt encouraged.
“He’s, well, he’s different. I’ve never met anyone like him, and I really like him.” Jaskier looked strangely vulnerable between them, nervous as he thought about his feelings for this other man. Geralt, as always, wanted to give him everything.
“Well, ask him out and when you feel like he’s ready, invite him to dinner so we can meet him,” Geralt told him, and that was that.
The next day, Jasker texted them ‘He said yes! Date tomorrow ❤️’ and from then on they heard about nothing but Jaskier’s new boyfriend.
“Raddy has the best taste in wine.”
“Raddy looks so good in furs.”
And once, looking particularly rumpled as he came back to their apartment after a date, hickies showing under his collar, “Raddy loves my new song.”
It’s just under two weeks from their first date that Jaskier finally tells them “Raddy is eager to meet you, so I invited him to dinner tomorrow night.”
Yennefer was pulling dinner out of the oven while Geralt set the table, so she had her back to the door when Jaskier walked in with his guest. “We’re here! I’m so excited for you to meet!” As she closed the oven door, she heard Geralt make a noise of surprise and shock. Curious, she turned to see for herself and her jaw dropped when she recognized Jaskier’s guest.
After he quickly introduced everyone, Yennefer linked her arm around Jaskier’s. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Would you excuse us for a moment?” She tugged Jaskier into the bedroom, leaving Jaskier’s two boyfriends making awkward and stilted conversation in the kitchen.
“Isn’t he great?” Jaskier asked.
“Yes,” Yennefer answered, as calmly as she can, “he’s really something. But tell me, Jaskier, in the past two weeks, you’ve called him your spoon, a knife, the only music critic worth listening to, and even your ‘little love rat.’ So I ask you: why did I have to wait until he’s standing in my kitchen to find out that you are dating the crown prince of Redania?”
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harry-on-broadway · 1 year
Text
Never Been Prouder
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Word Count: 1.8K || Rating: M
A/N: I had no plans to write anything other than TLL, but then Harry got nominated for six Grammy’s and the group chat got me thinking so this is all thanks to @hslllot​ and @harrysblackcoat​. Hope you enjoy! 
***
He didn’t want to talk about it.
At least that’s what he said on Monday morning.
“It’s just any other morning,” he said casually. “A normal Tuesday. Nothing really special about it.”
You knew he was lying though.
A new edge to his constant fidgeting and the way his eyes wouldn’t meet yours revealed that there was something simmering below the surface. But you knew him well enough to leave him be and resumed your Google search for the alcoholic beverage that could be both congratulatory and conciliatory.
You’d dashed off to work and he’d wandered off to the gym or the studio or Jeff’s office or wherever he decided to spend the hours before his show, and the topic didn’t come up again. Instead, the texts between you two were mundane – him asking the best way to get a wine stain off his hoodie and you asking how much milk was left in the fridge during your post-work grocery run.
In fact, it didn’t come up until later that night. You were both in bed, him reclined on his pillows, a warm compress over his eyes and you next to him, typing away at the last of your work emails as some movie you’d both seen twenty times over played in the background.
“What do you think my chances are?” he asked softly.
You turned to look at him. The cloth still covered his eyes and most of his face, so it was hard to discern where his head was at.
“Your chances of what? Getting lucky?” You had a clue about where this conversation was heading and didn’t want to miss a chance to inject some levity into the situation.
“I know my chances of that are always 100 percent,” he said slowly. You could hear the smirk in his voice. “No,” he continued. He swallowed thickly. “Of like tomorrow. Getting nominated.”
“I thought you didn’t want to talk about this,” you said, testing the waters.
“I didn’t, but now I do.” He eased himself up onto his elbows and pulled the cloth from his eyes. “I’m just…” He twisted the fabric between his fingers, still refusing to meet your eyes. “It’s going to happen, right? But…” he trailed off. “What if it doesn’t?”
You looked at him. Harry was normally the kind of person that filled a room, his energy and enthusiasm making him seem larger than life. But tonight, in your bedroom, he seemed much smaller and so unsure of himself.
“H,” you said, grabbing his chin and tilting his face so that you could look into his eyes. “I promise you this, your name is going to be called tomorrow. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. But if it isn’t that’s OK too.”
He exhaled slowly, trilling his lips. “It shouldn’t matter, but if tomorrow’s a bust I’m going to feel like I let everyone down.”
“You’ve done so much this year, baby. Coachella, the new album, the tour, the charts. It’s all so much more than anyone expected. No one would be disappointed in you.”
“But Tom, Tyler, Mitch. They’d -”
“Still be proud of you no matter what,” you finished, cutting him off.
“I guess.” He started to pick at the damp cloth again. “But what about…?”
The question he didn’t dare voice hung in the air.
When you all at first started dating, it was easy to see that the public aspect of his life weighed heavily on Harry. Your early dates were mostly filled with you talking and him listening. Slowly but surely though, once he was confident you weren’t hoping to hook up with him for the story or a boost in followers, he started to open up and your relationship blossomed in turn. In the years since, you’d made it abundantly clear that you were in love with Harry, not Harry Styles, but it was apparent that deep down, his fears that people were just using him for the moment still lingered.
“Harry, do you remember the conversation we had last year before you left for Vegas?”
He nodded. It had been an emotional discussion as you were both caught up in the realization that you’d be apart for the longest period of time since you started seeing each other. The night before he was set to head out, Harry was honest with you. About the difficulties of touring, how life on the road impacted relationships, how he’d always struggled to find the balance between the thing and the people he loved most.
But, he stressed that this time would be different and reaffirmed his commitment to your relationship. Even though he would be miles away, you remained his first priority. In the moment, you’d nodded and tried to stifle the tears that were ready to flow and the fear that these were just empty words.
But they weren’t.
He talked to you every day. He Doordashed you soup when you were sick and sent you flowers and a cupcake from your favorite bakery on your birthday. When you were having a tough week at work, he sent you meme after meme to make you smile. When he stopped at the bookstore you’d been wanting to visit, there was a book and postcard from the shop on your doorstep the next day. He kept his word and that itself meant more than anything.
“Honestly, I didn’t think you’d be able to keep your promise,” you continued. “But you did. And knowing what kind of man you are, and how you are still that man no matter how much success comes your way. That’s worth more to me than having an Artist of the Year winner on my arm.”
Harry smiled softly, his cheeks pink. “Well, that’s a good thing since that’s not actually a category.”
“OK then,” you said with a laugh. “How about this…whether you get zero nominations, or 47 nominations –”
“I don’t think I can actually get that many,” he said with a sly grin.
“The point is regardless of if your name is called tomorrow morning, I’ve never been prouder of you than I am now. And nothing is going to change that.”
You leaned towards him and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. When you pulled away, you could see that his eyes were watering. You weren’t sure if it was from the weight of the moment or his earlier injury, but you brought the pad of your thumb up to his face and wiped away the moisture that was collecting under his eyes. When you were done, he pulled your wrist to his lips, kissing the palm of your hand.
“Thank you,” he said quietly. “I sometimes need a reminder of what really matters.”
“That’s OK, H,” you said. “I’ll always be here for whatever you need. Why don’t we go to bed now.”
Harry nodded, tossing his rag in the laundry and stripping down to his briefs while you stowed your laptop on your nightstand and plugged your phone in to charge. When you had situated yourself under the sheets, Harry turned off the lights and joined you under the covers, wrapping you up in his arms.
His breath was slow and steady and you’d thought he drifted off – he always fell asleep much sooner than you did – until he spoke again. “I think we should do something tomorrow.”
“What? The Grammy nominations and a concert aren’t enough?”
“No, no, like something for just the two of us,” he chided. “Like something to look forward to no matter what happens. A treat of sorts.”
“OK…” you said slowly. “What did you have in mind?”
“Champagne,” he said confidently. “And a blow job.”
“Wow! You really had that one ready to go.”
“What? If I’m sad, both of those will make me feel better. And if I’m happy…no better way to celebrate.”
“Whatever you say,” you said, pressing a sleepy kiss to his pec. “I love you, Harry.”
“Love you, too,” you heard him mumble before drifting off to sleep.
***
The two of you woke to the sound of a phone vibrating. Once. Then again. Then again. And again until the vibrations were constant and Harry’s phone was sliding across the nightstand.
He rolled over to grab the device, quickly returning to his position beside you. He took a deep breath before looking at the screen.
You studied his face as he read through the notifications. Joy, disbelief, pure happiness, shock – he seemingly experienced every emotion in that moment before he looked at you again.
“Good news?” you asked.
He nodded. “Six nominations. Maybe another one. I’m not sure,” he stammered, words running together. “The majors too. Album, song, and record. Fuck,” he said, as a sob escaped him. “Fuck, I can’t believe it happened.”
“You deserve it, H,” you said, hugging him tightly until the embrace was interrupted by an incoming call.
“Shit,” he said, fumbling to answer it. “It’s just Jeffrey. I’ll call him later.”
“No, talk to him now,” you said, extracting yourself from the pile of blankets and Harry’s limbs. “Take your time. I’ll get breakfast ready.”
As you walked towards the door, you heard Jeff’s screams echoing through the phone speaker, mixing with Harry’s laughter. You padded into the kitchen, starting the coffee maker and fishing the bottle of champagne you’d purchased yesterday from the back of the pantry, pouring it into two flutes. Coffee and alcohol ready, you sat at the table scrolling through your phone, responding to a couple of congratulatory texts from your own friends and family, reassuring them that you’d pass their well-wishes on to Harry.
A few minutes later Harry appeared in the doorway, searching for you and breaking out into a wide grin when he found you.
“Coffee and a treat are ready for you,” you said, rising from your chair.
“Thank you,” Harry replied, clinking his glass of bubbly against yours before taking a sip.
“Good call with Jeff and the rest of the guys?”
Harry nodded. “Yeah,” he said with a smile. “They’re through the roof. Made sure to say that none of it matters and all that stuff…” he rolled his eyes. “But I heard that all from someone much smarter and prettier last night.”
“Who is this remarkable person?”
“The one standing in front of me.”
You leaned onto your tiptoes to kiss him, tasting the sweetness of the drink on his lips. “You did good, baby,” you whispered against them.
Harry wrapped his arm around you and buried his face in your neck. “I owe it all to you,” he whispered back.
He held you like that for a moment, until you wiggled around in his arms, grazing your fingers down his torso until you hooked them in the waistband of his shorts.
“Oh?” he said, pulling back to look at you with glee. “This is happening? Now?”
“What? That was the deal. Champagne,” you took a sip from your glass before setting it on the counter. “And now a blow job.” You rubbed your hands along his waist as you shimmied his shorts down his legs.
“You don’t have to do this, baby.”.
“That wasn’t the deal,” you shot back. “Last night I told you how proud I was, now it’s time to show you.”  
***
talk to me! 
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