Okay so I've been quiet for a long while about what's going on in my lil world so here's what's up at the moment

My housemates from uni didn't get in touch with me about the stuff I left at the house. That means it's all completely gone, not a single thing of mine left supposedly. So now I'm basically starting from scratch if I ever want to live on my own again, which I do.

SO

I saw a post a while ago talking about something called a 'Hope Chest' which is the American name for what my mum knows as a 'Bottom Drawer' and I suggested we start one to make it easier when the time comes. What this is, is basically a box or whatever that you fill with all the things you'll need and want in your future home. Cooking tools, plates, ornaments, paint swatches whatever, it all goes in that box and it builds up over time when you find nice things to add to it.

So yeah, we're gonna start one of those for me now! Which is neat!

But also all I can think to put in it is a lava lamp.

alright. bonus lore time. i literally never thought anyone was cringe if i ever had a problem w u it was ALWAYS about wrathion.

since fall 2021 ive developed a new talent which is my cortisol randomly spiking and making my stomach too acidic which can and has made me vomit 10 times in a day and put me in ER-level pain and i think it has something to do with the lil polycule of rpers i was with back then.

roster was, iirc (at the time)

26 y/o male / nb

38 y/o female

mid 20s male

mid 20s nb

early 20s female

19 y/o me

18 year old nb

26 year old was the one who made the discord, roleplayed anduin, the rest of us were literally self shippers with ocs. (except me i played sylvanas)

was a SHIT ton of wranduin in there!!! i'm not evil though so i put up with it. i asked once can they please stop putting wrathion porn in there, they were like "thats cool bro i respect your triggers" and put it in a different channel still accessible for the girlies who love to trigger themselves.

so like. heres where the mysterious food poisoning came in. when i say 'dissociative' i may not mean DID as diagnosed by a trained professional after 15-20 tests but like. i couldnt even express to a therapist how shit i felt bc i was not consistently the same type of person between appointments. if you make me come in every week, next week i will not remember why i felt the way i felt last week. i'll vaguely remember what i said, but she's not me anymore lol.

and sometimes it's THAT, the true saint norman experience, sometimes it's possession (thinking other people's thoughts) and sometimes it's dreaming but girl SOMETIMES it manifests as like.

Imagine going up to norman bates and telling him he cares too much about his sick, declining, codependent mom.

Me but when you smack Wrathion I feel it. He's a metaphor for me. I think in his voice. I damn near pray to him ig, being a mormon I can tell you he is the only reason ive ever felt 'the spirit.'

Cringe? Yes!!!!! Out of my control? Yeah 😭

There is no center to my being. i dont identify as anything. i'm not the name my parents gave me, but i am the characters i use to puppet out whatever emotions. Internet sexting for so long has eaten away at my boundaries so much there is no longer any reason for her (who i was born as) to exist or for me to relate to her.

Rping in that group gave me so much dopamine I couldn't sleep, consistently had the feeling that my stomach muscles were splitting down the center, migraines. Literal food poisoning symptoms. It was really fun still!!!!!

And then when the wrathion shit happened like. Whispers of nzoth in the back of my brain started tickling my self defense instincts for no reason. No reason bc I had put up with literally everything including the wrathion shit, the only difference was I personally didn't enjoy wrathion porn.

I knew I was irrational. Not liking a certain type of porn is one thing, I was fighting off the old gods trying not to start some shit.

Prob shoulda communicated! Communicating last time gave me a trigger myself button though. Literally the [triggered] meme.

Eventually you get the feeling that shit is going down the drain whether you like it or not. The rp's stopped, everyone's switched to FF and your laptop can't run it. It's all just kinks, someone posting once or twice a day with "imagine li-li stormstout [redacted]" getting reacted with 😏 emojis.

So I posted screenshots bc I knew the other half of the world, the one with everyone else in it, would feel as alienated as I did. I'm back in 2015 as a 13 y/o dominatrix prude and I want the feeling of 'we know what's wrong' I got from the ER. Literally went to sleep 5 minutes later because I knew I'd be guillotined.

I wake up and I have no idea why I did that. It's been years since I tore off the chunk of me that will do literally anything to be included, those two halves don't communicate anymore.

But shit's fucked now!!

It was always about wrathion. Literally always about my shitass fixation on blizzard's favorite 7 year old to unbutton the shirt on. Girl why

I'm going to interrupt my horny and sad posting, cause I need to ramble about a song, identity, and the fucked up playground of trauma and healing.

CW for dysphoria, suicidal ideation

So, without further ado:

Trans Soul Rebel: Dysphoria, Discovery, and Living As a Revolutionary Act

About a year ago, I discover Against Me!, an incredible punk band headed by Laura Jane Grace. Now, I discovered Against Me! several years after Laura Jane had come out as a trans woman.

I am 19 years old.

I'm a sophomore in college, majoring in history. I enroll in "Introduction to Women's, Gender, and Sexuality Studies," primarily to fill an elective spot. 6 weeks in, I hear the term "transgender" for the first time. I hear the term "dysphoria" for the first time.

I am 13 years old.

Puberty is starting, and I am growing facial hair. Little ribbons of fuzz sprouting on my lip, my chin, beside my ears. I know this is normal for boys my age, but nothing about This feels normal to me. I shave it, I pluck it. Anything i can get my hands on, to make it go away. But it always comes back.

In 2014, Against Me! releases "Transgender Dysphoria Blues," an album analyzing and deconstructing the traumatizing process of coming out as a trans woman. Included on the album is the track "True Trans Soul Rebel."

I am 20 years old

I've sat with these new words, "transgender," and "dysphoria," for one year. Mulling them over in my mind, tossing and turning them as much as I do before sleeping. I don't know why these things stick to me, clinging to my brain and my past like barnacles. Journeying through my life, I sense the struggles, the conflicts between my self perception and my presentation.

I am 16 years old

I don't feel boy enough. Man enough. Masculine enough. Something is wrong with my masculinity; it doesn't fit. It falls off my shoulder, it's too tight around my waist, it's too short in the legs. I force myself into it, thinking that if I do it more, do it bigger, do it harder, it'll make it fit. I grow my beard long, moisturize it. I buy three piece suits, collared shirts, long ties. I leaned into learning about cars, and computers, football, professional wrestling, Anything to make this "boy suit" Fit.

The second verse of "True Trans Soul Rebel" goes as follows: "Yet to be born, you're already dead.

Sleep with a gun beside you in bed.

Follow it through to the obvious end.

Slit your veins wide open, you're bleeding out."

I am 17 years old.

I'm not doing well. I'm sad and angry all the time. Every slight, no matter how small, makes me furious. Every backslide, bad grade, shitty comment, cheating girlfriend.

I self harm for the first time.

A cut on my arm, and I can stop feeling everything else in my life for one moment.

I am 20 years old

I identify my anxieties and disconnects as dysphoria. I know why the masculinity suit doesn't fit. It wasn't made for me. It was put on the wrong form, stored in the wrong closet. I experiment with new things. Feminine things. Nail polish, long hair. I buy my first bralette and dress. I buy them in secret, wear them in isolation. I do this for weeks, months, until I learn how they fit. And God, do they fit. The sit square on my shoulders, don't cinch my waist. The legs are just right. It's a new suit. "Femininity," "woman," fits how I wished all my clothes had fit all my life.

The chorus of "True Trans Soul Rebel:"

"Who's gonna take you home tonight, who's gonna take you home?

Does God bless your transsexual heart?

True Trans Soul Rebel."

Does God bless my heart? Does the word "woman" include me? People like me? Is motherhood, being a wife, in my future?

"You shoulda been a mother.

You should be a wife.

You shoulda been gone from here, years ago.

You should be living a different life."

I'm gonna make damn sure. I'm going to make sure that woman-ness includes me, and people like me. I'm going to make space, hold space, for women like me; women who weren't born, but who built themselves. Women who fought, tooth and fucking nail, clawed their way from the dark place, to be women.

I'm going to make sure that I Am a mother, a wife. I'm going to honor the sisters and mothers and daughters before me, the ones who brought the words into the world. I'm going to make my body a sanctuary to myself, a haven to all I wish I had before. I'm going to build my future into a home, with a foundation of self love and a roof of community.

In a world that tells me I'm worthless, or broken, or down-right non-existent,

I will make my life a revolution.

I'm a Trans Soul Rebel.

Filling in the gaps of 15x20, featuring Castiel and Jack.

Castiel woke with a gasp, the Empty pressing in around him as usual. He sat up, quickly, trying to get his bearings. He was met with a watery smile on a face he thought he’d never be lucky enough to see again. 

“Hello,” Jack said, fingers half curled into a wave. 

“Jack,” Cas breathed, pulling his son in for a fierce hug. Jack clung to him just as hard, the two of them huddled on what passed for solid ground in the Empty. 

They pulled back, just looking at each other. Castiel kept his hand on Jack’s shoulder, not wanting to let him go just yet. He looked at Jack’s face, at the tiniest hints of tears in his eyes, and felt his heart sink. 

“Jack, what happened?” Jack didn’t reply immediately, and Cas felt even more dread building, dripping down his spine like a melting icicle. “No. You’re not- you can’t be-”

“I’m not dead,” Jack assured him. Cas could feel his whole body slumping in relief. “I’m… I really missed you, Cas.” 

“Well, I missed you too.” Cas squeezed Jack’s shoulder, rejoicing when a smile flitted across Jack’s face. Dying without saying goodbye… it was one of the most difficult things Cas had ever done. 

“Wait, I don’t- I don’t understand. How are you here?” 

Jack shrugged, and in the shift Cas could see something different. If he really looked, there was something more, something bright and powerful and ageless burning under Jack’s skin. More powerful than his soul and his grace combined.

“We defeated Chuck,” Jack said. “We didn’t kill him, but I- I took his powers, and I sort of took over from him.” 

Castiel remembered sitting with Kelly before Jack was born. And he remembered that one little word that had kept them going. 

Paradise.

And Castiel smiled, wider than he’d ever smiled before. “You did it,” he whispered. Jack returned his grin, and the two of them laughed, the sound echoing off of the Empty around them, beating the sorrow back. “You did it. Oh, Jack, I’m so proud of you. I always- Kelly and I always knew you could do this. We always believed.” 

“I know.” Jack nodded. He stood, reaching down a hand to pull Castiel up with him. “Come with me.” 

Jack tugged him along by the sleeve of his coat and started to run, the gesture so young and childlike in contrast to his new position as the universe’s caretaker. 

“Jack, where are we-”

There was a sudden flash of light, and Castiel gasped, back straightening as if he’d been struck by an electrical current. When the roar of his grace subsided, he realized it was- it was there. It was all there, his wings, his grace- and the Hellfire scars and charring on his feathers were gone. Jack beamed at him, hands tucked behind his back. 

“Jack, I…” Cas didn’t have the words. He spread his wings, flared them out and reveled in how free it felt. There wasn’t pain anymore. He looked around, suddenly taking in where they were.

“We’re in Heaven,” he said, looking back to Jack.

“Yes.” Jack lifted his chin. “I know Heaven isn’t what a lot of people expect, or want. I know it’s not what my mother, or Sam and Dean, believed that it should be. So- I’m going to fix it.”

Jack snapped his fingers, and all the doors and walls came crashing down, the compartments folding away. And the people, all the souls in Heaven, they rejoiced. 

--------

Cas half expected chaos, but he should have known better. Somehow, Jack made it all make sense. The people were milling about, all those souls trying to find their loved ones and choose a place to settle. Or keep on going, always traveling. It didn’t really matter. 

He and Jack were walking through the crowds, guiding them on their way and explaining the situation as gently as they could. 

“Hey, you. Shoulda known you’d have somethin’ to do with all this.” 

Cas whirled around, coming face to face with an old comrade-in-arms. “Bobby,” he said. “It’s- it’s good to see you again. Are you alright?” 

Bobby shrugged. “Seems like. Are my idjits with you?”

“No. They’re, uh. They’re not here yet.”

“Guess I should be grateful for that,” Bobby grumbled. “I do have to ask, though, what’s with the sudden change? There a management shift I should be aware of or somethin’?”

Jack came bounding over, grabbing on to Castiel’s arm. “Cas, I found her! We- oh.” Jack looked at Bobby, recognition and realization igniting in his eyes. He straightened, putting on a front of godly power. Cas would have to tell him later that he didn’t need to do that. 

“Hello,” Jack said, unnecessarily nervous. 

Bobby looked at Cas from under a furrowed brow, then to Jack, and back to Cas. “Well, feathers, didn’t know you had it in ya.” 

Cas shook his head. “Oh, no, it’s not what you-”

“I’m Jack,” Jack cut in. “I took the power of God, and now I’m fixing Heaven! It’s nice to meet you. Sam and Dean have told me a lot about you.”

Bobby’s confusion only deepened. Castiel sighed, and started explaining. 

--------

“So, you got a kid.”

“Yes.” 

“And Sam and Dean helped raise him.” 

“Yes.” 

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

Cas huffed a laugh, eyes trailing after Jack where he stood a little ways away, helping a man who’d died in 1432 reunite with his mother. 

“No. We’ve all been saved.”

---------

Never let it be said that Kelly Kline was not a patient woman. By the time Cas caught up with her, millions of souls having been helped, it might well have been weeks. She was standing hand in hand with Jack, the two of them in animated conversation. 

“Kelly,” he said, and she smiled at him as she brought her arms around him. 

It felt like home. 

---------

Jack kept busy. He and Cas swept through all of Heaven, the remaining angels having been assigned sections to comb through as well. They needed to make sure no souls were still lost without their families or their chosen place having been found. 

The two of them spent plenty of time with Kelly, who had designed a little cottage like the one Jack was born in. 

Jack worried about her getting lonely, and every time she had the same reply. 

���I’m waiting for my parents to come. And I’ve got you two- my angels.”

One day Castiel and Kelly sat on the porch of that cottage, staring out across the lake at dawn. Jack had gone down to Earth to collect the wandering souls, those stuck in between. Like Kevin Tran. And he would bring them home.

“You were right, Kelly. You were always right. Jack changed the world.”

“He did.” Kelly smiled. “But we were right, Castiel. Both of us.” 

They held hands and watched the sun rise. 

---------

Jack was still Jack, despite the changes. He’d gone off in search of Mary Winchester, to make things right, as he said, and promptly threw himself into Castiel’s arms upon his return. They flew around for a while to calm him down, and eventually Jack smiled again. 

Castiel was more than willing to be whatever Jack needed. That was his purpose- to aid in maintaining paradise, and to aid in maintaining Jack. 

He’d never been happier. 

---------

“I’m leaving,” Jack said. They’d always known it was coming.

Kelly hugged him goodbye, assuring Jack that she’d be waiting for him, and Cas walked him to the part of Heaven that remained free of human souls- the Lobby, as it had been dubbed. The throne had been removed, and in its place was a list. A list that always grew, of every soul admitted to Heaven. He let an anxious eye linger on the W column each time he passed by. 

“Where will you go?” Castiel asked. 

“I don’t know yet,” Jack answered. “But Amara says she’ll take me to see space. Like Star Wars, Cas!” 

“Well, I bet you’ll enjoy that.”

Jack nodded, his eyes earnest. “I will.” 

Castiel nodded back, feeling as if there were a knot inside him. Everything about this was bittersweet, pride dancing with sorrow in his heart. It was, he supposed, how every parent felt watching their child start a new chapter. 

“Cas.” Jack settled a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be back. You don’t have to worry.”

“I know. I just- I’ll miss you, Jack.” 

“I know. Me too.” Jack tucked himself into Castiel’s arms, burying his face in his shoulder. Cas just held him for a while, feeling the thrum of Jack’s grace and the effervescence of his soul. 

They pulled apart. 

“Bye, Cas,” Jack said, hand raised in a wave. 

“Goodbye, Jack.” 

And he was off. Absent from here, yes, but he was around, and he would be back. And really, what was a few decades when you had eternity?

---------

Castiel had tried to lead Heaven before, and he’d failed each time he tried. Now, though- now, the people were happy. Cas still visited Kelly, and he visited Mary and Bobby and the Harvelles and even found that the remaining angels were starting to open up to him again. When Jack got back, Cas would have to ask him about bringing more angels back from the Empty. Balthazar, Hannah, Samandriel, Gabriel… what he wouldn’t give to see them again. 

He took a page out of Jack’s book, and hoping to have an inkling of Jack’s courage, found the Novaks. He’d known forgiveness was impossible, but at least he’d said his piece. 

Then, one fateful day, a new name appeared on the list:

Dean Winchester.

And Castiel watched, waiting for Sam’s name to join it, but it didn’t. It wouldn’t for years. 

And somehow, he knew that was alright. 

--------

The decades passed, and Castiel waited. He waited for Sam’s name, and he waited for Jack’s return. 

Sometimes he could hear Sam praying. It varied, the things he’d say. Sometimes he just prayed to Jack, and the only reason Cas heard was because he happened to be standing in the Lobby. He was glad to know Sam was happy, and living a good, quiet life. Like he deserved.

Hey, Jack. Cas. Dean. I hope you guys are okay. I’m just- I’m really missing you. I love you.

Eileen and I got married today. I didn’t have a best man, I just couldn’t- yeah. It was a little offbeat and quiet, but it suited us, you know? Anyway. I love you guys. 

I have a kid. I have a baby, and he’s- you’d all love him. I wish you’d gotten to be a big brother, Jack. You would have loved it.

Hey, Cas- Dean Jr. loves PB&J. It, uh- it makes me think of you. I miss you, buddy.

Jody passed. Bad hunt. I feel like you guys should know. I hope you’re taking good care of her up there, Jack. She deserves it. 

Dean started middle school today, and I can’t believe it. Time goes by so damn fast, doesn’t it? But I, uh. I still miss you. Love you guys.

Claire and Kaia are engaged. Dean Jr’s gonna be the ring bearer. He’s so excited. 

Jack- happy tenth, bud. Double digits is a big deal. I miss you. 

I never thought I’d be an attendee at Sam and Castiel Fitzgerald’s grad party, but here I am. Garth insisted. Eileen got to skip out because Dean’s got a school thing this weekend, but man, are they missing some good stuff. Garth throws a killer party. Who knew?

Eileen- she’s, um. She’s sick. I just- if you’ve got a miracle in you, Jack.. I know it’s probably a lost cause. But I don’t want Dean to lose his mom. And I can’t- I just can’t. Not again.

I love you, Eileen. Give your brother-in-law a big hug for me, okay?

Dean graduated from Stanford today. I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder. 

Happy 65th, old man. I miss you, jerk. 

I think I’ll be seeing you soon, Dean. Hopefully you too, Jack. Cas- I don’t really know where you are, but I hope I’ll get to see you too. 

I love you. Jack- make sure my son’s okay. Watch out for him, okay buddy? And keep doing great. You got this. Thank you- thanks for my life.

---------

Castiel watched as the name he’d been waiting for joined the list, after all this time. And he sent up a prayer of his own. 

When Jack came back, as Cas knew he would, they had some family to visit.

Angst 14 for Brettsey please ♥️

It was so hard to choose. I wrote down like five more numbers.

“Don’t you dare walk away from this!”

******

He’s in Molly’s watching Sylvie from the bar as she and Stella talk at their usual table.

He knows he’s being obvious and he knows she sees him staring, but he doesn’t give a damn. He wants her and it hurts that he can’t have her.

He wishes there was something he could do to change her mind, but she’d told him where they stood. Who was he to force the issue?

He gulps down the last of his whiskey and slams the low ball glass down on the counter. He can’t stay here. It’s torture. She’s in the same room as him but may as well be on another planet. He hates this — giving her space is the last thing he wants.

But again, what choice does he have?

He turns and walks away, leaving Molly’s, and letting the door slam shut behind him. He takes a step toward his truck and the world around him freezes. People stop mid-stride, cars halt while obviously still running. It’s as if someone hit pause on a video.

His brow furrows in confusion until a figure appears in front of him. A figure he hasn’t seen since he was 16.

“Matthew.”

He resists a shudder. He’d almost forgotten what it felt like to hear his name said with such disgust.

“Aren’t you gonna acknowledge your old man? It’s been a while kid.”

What the fuck is happening? How is his dad here, wandering around Bucktown? His dad is dead.

“Still the same little chickenshit you always were, I see,” his dad scoffs with a cruel smirk. “Shoulda known that wouldn’t change. Your mother coddled you too much. Turned you into a sissy. I should have nipped that in the bud the minute you were born. To this day, it’s my biggest regret — letting her keep you from acting like a man.”

He is a thirty-nine year old grown ass man so how in the hell can a few sentences from a ghost make him feel so small.

“Still letting people walk all over you, desperate to make them proud? To make them like you?” His father spits, rolling his eyes. “The only way to make people like you is to take what you want. How many times have I told you that, boy? How many times do I have to smack that lesson into that hard head of yours, huh?”

His father’s hand reaches out to slap the side of his head — just the way he used to — but before his palm makes contact with Matt’s face the specter of his father disappears.

He spins around, looking for him out of instinctive fear and panic, but his dad is gone. The street is empty of all people and all cars, leaving him alone outside of Molly’s.

And then the world around him stretches and shifts. He went from the street outside of Molly’s to inside Sylvie’s apartment. Her living room to be exact — the scene of the crime. The place where he fucked it all up.

But that’s not the moment he’s reliving. No, he’s watching himself and Sylvie play Heads Up. He smiles warmly at the sound of her laughter, but his eyes start to water and his throat tightens. He’s lost that. He’s lost her. Because he is everything his father said he was.

A scared chickenshit little boy so desperate to be liked that he never pushes back.

But he refuses to follow his old man’s philosophy. Taking what you want is never the answer. That’s a tactic for the cruel and unfeeling. Matt is determined to never be either of those things.

And because of that, he’ll let Sylvie go. He’ll give her the space she wants because that’s what a considerate and respectful person would do.

He backs away from the scene in front of him, heading for the door, but Sylvie’s head suddenly snaps in his direction — bitter grin on her face.

“I knew you’d leave. They all do. Why would you be any different?”

“No!” He argues. “That’s not what I—you asked me for space. I’m...I’m giving it to you!”

“It’s okay,” she says softly, wiping at a tear with the back of her hand. “You’re still in love with Gabby. You can’t help that. Of course you’re not going to fight for me when you still want her. I’ll be fine. I’m used to it — the whole not being enough business.” A hollow chuckle slips through her perfect lips and it’s a terrible sound. “I never have been and never will be.”

“That’s not true!” Matt shouts while her tears shred his heart to pieces. “How can you possibly think that? You’re enough. You’re more than enough.”

It’s as if he hadn’t spoken at all. She doesn’t seem to hear him.

“Please, just...leave me alone,” she pleads. “I’m hurt but I’ll get over it. I just need time. Time away from you. I think you should leave.”

His feet move against his will, carrying him away from her.

Behind her, he sees a reflection of himself as if twisted in a funhouse mirror — distorted and misshapen. But his lips are moving. The sound doesn’t match the movements, but from the way the mouth opens wide and his head shakes he can tell he’s yelling.

Finally, the echo of the yelling reaches him.

“Don’t you dare walk away from this!” His own voice screams. Not once, not twice, but three times. Each more desperate than the last.

“Yell all you want,” the disembodied voice of his father mutters with a dark laugh. “He won’t listen. He’ll walk away. Like the coward he’s always been.”

“I’m not a coward!” He yells as Sylvie’s apartment fades away and he’s surrounded by pitch black. “I am not a coward! And it is not chickenshit to value someone else’s happiness above your own!”

“No, it isn’t.”

That’s a new voice. A welcome voice. One he still imagines he might hear in a voicemail some day, but he never does.

“Hallie?”

As if her name summons her, she appears. Smiling warmly and openly. “Hi, Matt.”

“What are you…?”

“I’m helping,” she says with a smirk and a shrug. “Saving your ass as usual.”

He chuckles, more tears forming in his eyes. “Saving me from what?”

“Yourself. No, it’s not chickenshit to want the people you love to be happy.” Hallie’s hands land on his shoulders. The grip is her unique mix of tender but firm. She turns him to face away from her, to the image of Sylvie. This time from their last conversation in his quarters. “But does she really look happy to you?”

He gulps and shakes his head, noticing the way her eyes glisten with tears and the corners of her mouth turn down. “No.”

“It’s not chickenshit to want what’s best for people, Matt, but it’s also not unfeeling to fight for what's best for you either. Asking for what you want isn’t the same as taking it,” Hallie assures him. “You’re allowed to ask for what you want. Remember? You used to ask me for what you wanted all the time.”

“Yeah,” he scoffs. “And that turned out great, didn’t it?”

“It was an issue we needed to confront. You would have been even more miserable if you’d never brought it up and you know it,” Hallie says, turning him back around to face her. “Just because my answer wasn’t what you wanted to hear doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have asked. Ask her, Matt. Ask her for what you want. Fight for her. She’s unhappy, you’re unhappy. You can’t make things worse so ask her. Maybe she’s the one who’s held your answers the whole time. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t Gabby. But it could be her. Can you live with never knowing?”

“No,” he rasps, shocked he managed to say it outloud. “No, I can’t.”

“Then don’t walk away. Choose her. Fight for her. You’re pretty damn convincing when you want to be,” Hallie tells him with a teasing smile. “Trust me on that one.” She leans into his space, wipes a tear from his cheek, and then kisses his brow. “Time to wake up now, Matt. She’s waiting.”

“What do you mean, she’s—“

There’s a flash of white light and then he’s suddenly aware of a steady electronic beeping and the slight bump of motion underneath him.

“Matt, come on, wake up. Please wake up.”

He knows that voice. He’d listen to that voice all night long if he could. “Syl—“ his voice croaks and gives out, her name dying in his parched throat.

“Oh, thank God!” She exclaims.

His eyes open to her red teary eyes and blinding smile. He clears his throat and tries again, this time finding his voice even if it’s weaker than he’d like.

“What’d I miss?”

She lets out a soggy laugh and runs her gloved fingers through his hair — a look of immense relief overtakes her face. “A beam fell on you in a fire. Knocked you out. You weren’t down long but there was a second when I couldn’t find a pulse and I thought—“ she cuts herself off and shakes her head, one tear falling silently. “Nevermind, I’m just really glad to see you awake. We’re taking you to Med and they’re gonna look you over, okay?”

He tries to nod but the c-collar stops him. She smiles at him with fond exasperation.

“Try not to move,” she orders.

He grabs her hand and laces their fingers together, squeezing to bring her eyes back to his. “Before I forget — before the dream fades — I need you to know something.”

Her brow furrows, but she nods to let him know she’s listening.

“I’m not walking away from you. Ever. You can ask me to give you space all you want, but I can’t do it. I won’t do it. I’m not a monster but I’m not a coward either. I’m allowed to ask for what I want. I want you. You think you’re not enough but you are. Sylvie, you’re—you’re everything to me. And I’m going to prove it to you. You’ll see.” He’s been speaking in an urgent rush, afraid they’ll arrive at Med before he finishes. But now he slows down and smirks with all the confidence he can muster while possibly concussed. “I’m told I can be pretty convincing when I want to be.”

Sylvie grins, laughs quietly, and then closes the distance between them to tenderly kiss his forehead. She speaks after resting her brow against his, her watery blue eyes holding steady on his.

“I have no doubt, Matt Casey. I can’t wait to be convinced.”

Falcon & Winter Soldier e3 Thoughts

- Sam & James more buddy roadtrip goof -1 oof god “hypothetical” please I’m- like i get it, TV show, plots gotta move faster but I dont feel the flagsmasher, stop the serum spread desperation, Sam’s right blew up UN, murdered TChaka, like what. no leads? seriously? not even the gov & CIA, FBI?

- Zemo prison break. It’s aight. still dont like his accent tho. i like the actor tho. a fellow ratman. 

- US Agent John Walker “do you know who I am?” B

- Baron butler sorry dude, i rlly couldn’t tell what you were saying, i like the evil rich guy trope tho

- Madripoor. Indonesian pirate sanctuary. *as an asian man, immediately expects southasian lookin ass ppl* enter looks like ex-pat bar. *no asian ppl* *sorely disappointed* also, black man jokes from Zemo, head writer Malcom Spellman a black man for context IM CALLING YOU OUT AGAIN DENIS, YOU GUYS WANNA USE NEO-ORIENTALISM YOU GOTTA BRING THEM ALIEN-LOOKING ASIAN PEOPLE GODDAMNIT FUCK

- Can’t suspend belief that ppl know a known international criminal been in jail for who knows how long and his disappeared assassin reappear in bar. -1

- chipper british bosslady exchanging serum info hmmm... it’s aight

- sam phone call. almost. same eh humor, but im enjoying this.

- phone txtmsg bounty Wick-style +1

- enter sharon. ex-gov operative abandoned offgrid after accomplice to superheroes? i dunno, you livin p large Sharon. jeez. an art seller and party hoster? jeez i dont know... -1

- party scene. tonal whiplash. where are the damn asian people. -1

- what the hell happened to the damn txtmsg bounty -1

- enter Dr. Nagel. evil gay trope. i mean cool for the nostalgia, sad its what you gotta use to ID the bad guy. sick Sharon fight scene tho, Borne-style, thanks Kari

- 20 vials. *begins death to shown calcs, eyeing the counter* why did Zemo shoot him tho. 

- firefight buddy roadtrip humor. geaugh. -1 bad. also, Bucky scene command really lacking here. 

- Zemo fightender. cool vision of comic book villain action. im doing my best to believe. 

- Karli friend death & bomber terrorism shoulda been weaved closer together imo. she seems nice, sells the robin hood, but feels out of character to actually justify with words firebombing. 

- US Agent/ Battlestar prison convo: I’m honestly really loving Wyatt Russell’s treatment, delivery, writing, direction. He backs arguments with sound reasons instead of quippy excuses. a man of thought and action. no humor. good, humor would have rubbed away at a mentionable character. government lackey, not quite reacting against Flag-Smashers, but a simple man on a mission. +1

- Wakandan +1

it’s an honest effort, but i have tonal whiplash and i am and you are allowed to feel sad abt so-so content. augh. 

Its You: Part 3

Summary: In which your date doesn’t go well and you meet a stranger who makes you forget all about it with his witty charm. But no numbers or names are exchanged between you two, leaving you both hopeless yet love crazed, never to find one another. Or so you think.  Modern AU | Requested by Anon | Pairings: Bucky Barnes x CurlyHaired! Reader Word Count: 1.8k Warnings: language, full-on fluff and comedyyyy

A/N: It's good to be back! Disclaimer: I would have made this part longer but it would be too much imo. ALSO I’ll be graduating soon and that means more time for writing! Can’t wait to share what I’ve been planning. As always enjoy AND Feedback is welcomed 💜

PART 2

Seated perfectly at the table, the host distributed the menus before leaving you to to your night. The atmosphere couldn’t get any more awkward than it was, and it tensed your muscles incredibly. But why were you complaining? You were on a date with the guy you’ve been drooling after for the past 24 hours! 

And Bucky? He was over the moon and very thankful that the universe blessed him with a chance to not only see you again but have dinner with you. The moping and dreading Bucky from earlier was nowhere to be seen and he was so drenched in bliss. 

His cheeks dusted with pink, Bucky swallowed the lump of embarrassment that sat annoyingly in his throat, not knowing where to keep his eyes on since looking into yours just made his heart skip a beat. What he didn’t know was that you were experiencing the same thing, looking anywhere but each other. Some people would say it was odd seeing a couple having dinner who wouldn’t even give the knowledge of them being there, but they didn’t know your story. And how you were falling in love every second being in Bucky’s presence. 

“So,” Bucky trailed off, slicing away the silence like a knife to butter. “I’m assuming you know Clint then?” 

His chuckle made your body ache, your heart melting to the deep sound of his rumbles echoing in his chest. Gritting your teeth from smiling too hard, you nod but a squeaky laugh escaped, “Oh my god,” you panicked, knowing damn well he heard it. He probably thinks your half pig now.

Great.

You saw how his eyes went slightly wide but he kept his smile and waved it off. This. This reassurance smoothed away your anxiety, and you just kept your eyes steady on his. “Yeah! He’s my roomie, and like a brother to me. I hope he doesn’t give you a hard time at work… knowing how strong and intimidating his personality can be.”

Bucky smirked, “Oh trust me,” he licked his lips and ducked his head, whispering. “I like the guy, I really do. But he scares the living crap out of me.”

Throwing your head back, you laugh at his confession, covering your mouth from exposing too much. You could tell he was joking but another part was telling you he sort of wasn’t. “Yep, that’s Clint for you.” 

“And I’m guessing Steve is your friend?” You asked with a hint of uncertainty. Bucky smiled at your question, taking a swig of his water. 

“My best friend since we were little. Our mothers were best friends and then we turned out to be best friends. It’s kind of weird, but he’s like a brother to me too.” 

The corners of your lips curved into a sweet smile, your eyes becoming soft as you released a dreamy sigh. This hadn’t gone unnoticed by Bucky and he began to blush again. And this time, you saw what you were doing to him and you actually liked it. It was a taste of his own medicine, trapped in a bubble of affection. 

“Remind me to thank Steve,” you whispered softly, bashfully ducking your head and gnawing on your lip. This brought a shiver down Bucky’s spine, his pupils dilating into a dark sea of passion.

Moments later, the waiter arrives with a glass jug of ice-cold water and a towel draped over his arm. 

“Hello! My name is Scott, like the paper towel brand and I’ll be your waiter for tonight! Make sure you tip me well or I’ll embarrass you in front of all these fine people.” He flashed a smile between you and Bucky, earning horrified and confused expressions from you two. 

“Ah well,” you swallowed thickly, wrapping your head around the waiters' words but before you could utter a word, he cuts you off.

“Ha! I was only kidding, oh my god. You should’ve seen your face, priceless!” Scott barked out a laugh, dismissing the fact that you and Bucky were just so misplaced. However, you found this man insanely amusing, exchanging a funny look with Bucky; he understood your motif and chuckled underneath his breath, trying really hard to stiffen his laughter. 

Refilling your glasses of water, Scott stepped back and sighed - that goofy smirk still plastered on his face. “What drinks can I start you off with?” 

“What drinks do you have?” You smiled. 

Scott smiled back but then it disappeared. He swiftly moved his body, as if he was trying to find something. To his misfortune, he didn’t, bringing him to groan through a tight smile. “It looks like I’ve forgotten the menu. But worry not, I think I’ve memorized it.” 

Bucky couldn’t hold back his cheeky smile, running a hand down his face. He couldn’t wait and see what Scott would bring to the table. Scott went on describing the basic drinks that most bars have but when Bucky asked for a specialty of the restaurant, that was where things went poorly.

The names of the drinks were at least better than the description Scott gave and you had your face buried in your hands the entire time. By the sounds of it, however, you caught on that Bucky knew more about drinks since he was aiding Scott in what alcohol goes in what and how they’re made. Maybe he was apart of some alcoholic beverage making club since he was fascinated with it. 

No, that couldn’t be it. 

Messing around with Scott became second nature to Bucky and you were so lost in drowning yourself in his voice that you hadn’t noticed him calling your name. 

“Y/N?” 

“I’m sorry,” you breathed out a chuckle; sighing dreamingly to the tone of his voice. It was like sweet honey at the tip of his tongue, rolling gracefully and plunging at your gut. 

“Where do you go when you’re in that state?” Bucky pondered, his eyes twinkling with curiosity.

“A place where you won't quite understand,” you teased, gnawing on your lip. Gazing into each other's eyes made your chest fall with ease as Bucky’s lips formed a smile of its own. 

“We’ll have the Cabernet Sauvignon, please,” Bucky informed the waiter without tearing his eyes away and you giggled to how charming he was towards you. 

Expecting the waiter to be gone by the time you looked away from Bucky, you were taken aback when Scott was still standing there, smirking as if he knew something you and Bucky didn’t. Clearing your throat, you shifted in your seat. “Is there something else…” 

“Oh no! I’ll just be going now,” Scott chuckled as he backed away but bumped into a table, almost falling backward over a woman in her seat. Luckily he caught himself in time, before rushing out of the room. 

Neither you and Bucky could hold back your laughter, embarrassed for the man. “He’s got a character that one.” Bucky managed to speak through his laugh as he ran a hand over his head.

“Ya think?” you mocked with aching cheeks. 

Once your drinks had arrived, you two ordered dinner and continued to talk. You found out how he got into engineering and what his actual passions are for the future. Advanced technology in prosthetic limbs was his main goal. He wanted to help those who felt like their lives wouldn’t be the same after losing a part of themselves and giving chances to those who were born without them. You were infatuated by his ideals and knowledge. His wholesome personality was another element that grew your heart to thrice its size. Bucky gave you hope for the future and how humanity can still heal each other even when we can easily harm too. 

Bucky couldn’t get over the fact how perfect you were. In his eyes, he couldn't see one flaw that raised alarms. You also had a passion to just live the world day by day, believing in small goals rather than bigger ones. You explained how the smaller ones were easy to accomplish while the big ones were a desire of “what if”. It was the flame that kept you going and you just illuminated a beautiful radiance of positivity that it was rare to even exist. Working as a research assistant for a curator wasn’t as glamorous as you had thought when applying for the job, but it kept you interested in what was happening in today's art. 

After some time, dinner had finally arrived at your table and it was as divine and as tasteful as it looked. Enjoying your meal, you hadn’t noticed that you had forgotten to take your phone out of your back pocket. The pressure from your rear added pressure to the call button and miraculously, you speed-dialed Natasha. 

***

“Where did you put my sparkling water, Wanda?” Natasha inspected the refrigerator while she tapped her finger against the door. 

Turning away from the TV, Wanda replied, “Oh, I put it in the pantry… didn’t know if you liked it cold or not,” she nervously chuckled, shoveling her mouth with the soup she made for dinner. 

Groaning at her own mistake, Natasha closed the refrigerator door and sluggishly walked to the pantry where her drink sat nicely on the shelf. “I hate when they’re room temperature. I shoulda put them in when I bought them.” 

Wanda shrugged in response and continued eating her dinner. Sighing, Natasha took out the bottle and rest it on the kitchen island before twisting open the cap and pouring herself a glass. As she went to add ice cubes to her drink, her phone began to ring, the classic Michael Myers ring-tone filling the air. Carefully, she placed her drink down and scurried after her phone. Since Wanda was closer, she grabbed the device off the coffee table and chucked it at Natasha who skillfully caught it. 

Glancing at the lit device, Natasha’s eyes shot wide open as your name appeared across the screen. 

“It’s Y/N! It’s Y/N!” 

Wanda quickly set her bowl on the table and paused the TV, jumping out of her seat. “Answer it!” 

“Okay okay,” Natasha pressed the accept button to answer but it closed before she could say anything. Her brows furrowed at the sudden silence. “What the,” she swallowed thickly, the nerves in her body tingling with a pinch of worry. So she decided to call back, and wait till you answered the call. 

Yet to Natasha’s misfortune, you didn’t, prompting her to try again.

And again.  

With her stomach feeling uneasy, Wanda stood near Natasha, nibbling on her bottom lip. Earlier that night, she was informed of the escape plan between you and Natasha. It wouldn’t make sense as to why you were calling other than that reason. The anticipation was making her nauseous. 

“Fuck this. We’re going down there.” Natasha gave up after the fourth attempt. She fetched her keys and bag from her room before darting out toward the front door. Wanda followed behind, slipping on her shoes. 

“I don’t like this, Nat.”

“Let’s hope I don’t murder anyone tonight.” 

_____________

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Pure of Heart

Solendis waited in the guest wing, seated by the fire in the common room. He waited, not for the usual staging of a diplomatic talk, or to speak about strategy from the war room. He waited for something more important than any of that. He waited for the boy, who seemed to be dragging his family off-track.

“Evening Mr. Bladeborn,” he said when Vissehn finally appeared. The Steward had heard him and his son laughing on the roof tops, drunk and high off Bloodthistle. Thankfully, only the House Huards had been around to bear witness to this. Lest his son’s reputation be besmirched.

The hallways seemed smeared with light; his pupils blown wide, Vissehn wondered if he touched one, if perhaps his hand might also become so brilliant and glowing. His laughter chimed through as he ambled-- staggered-- towards the guest wing. 

It had been a bloody success; he had brought down the cold and sad walls he had seen springing up around Stenden’s heart and head, crashed into them like a meteor of bawdy songs and pilfered liquor, and now the boys laughter played over in his mind, shining like a new coin. If he’d been robbed of a boyhood, well, he would lend some of that to another; find the kindred spirit beneath the stuffy layers of velvet and linen and silk, bear it and bask in finally not being alone.

Neither of them needed any more years being alone in their youth.

He careened into the common room, he wasn’t even looking to the crackling flames. Vissehn had only eyes for windows, and stars. In that candid moment, before he knew of the other man, his youth revealed like so much bare skin, he was every inch the vagabond he had espoused-- wind tousled hair, cheeks freckled and high in color, the acrid scents of liquor and thistle a cloud around his shambles of an outfit. 

When he heard the voice, he turned hard on a heel, spinning almost comically towards his chosen surname. “Oi, Steward Emberheart?” Vissehn saluted breezily, squinting a moment to make sure he had the right man. “Cor, you look like yer brother in this light, almost thought I was seein’ ghosts!” He grinned, his good mood taking even the barbs out of his jests.

Solendis folded his arms, taking measure of the man- no- the boy in front of him. He did not like what he saw. This was Stenden’s agent of choice. True, Vissehn was a capable killer, a proven agent that had served greater names than theirs in the past, but all in all, the boy in front of him was a bad influence. He made Stenden forget his station, the decorum that separated nobility from the commoners- and possibly the only thing that held the Emberglades together.

“Enjoying yourself?” He spoke firm, arms folded, ears flat against his skill and a gaze that only disapproving parents could muster. “You may have free run of the house as my son’s agent, but don’t for one second believe that you’re free to do as you please- without consequences.” Solendis rose to his feet, towering slightly over Vissehn. “I understand that you believe you are helping Stenden by…” he made an offhanded gesture at the roof. “Relaxing. But you are doing the complete opposite.”

Vissehn looked up at his friends father as he rose, one brow lifting to that jaunty arch that made the youth look puckish and fey. Solendis was a tall man; taller than Vissehn and certainly bore down with the paternal disapproval that had likely cowed Stenden in his more playful years. The light of his evening was dimmed in the derision he heard in Solendis' tone, but not with shame. "Yeah, you got good liquor down in the cellar and bad locks to go with them. Sounds like a mighty enjoyable evening to me."

Eyes glittering with that cold mirth, he let his lips curl up in that wicked grin. "Naw, see, the plans to let him get all cozy comfy an then ruin th'Emberglades by exposing that their Lord is--" he gasped theatrically. "A fuckin' lad who wanted to live a little! Gods an' ghosts, whatever'll everyone do? Carry on with all their lives cause it don't fucking matter if a boy has a moment to hisself?" He snorted and tossed his name of golden hair. "Consequence, hoo M'lord I'm just a peasant brat what didn't get that stirling education, you'll have to use smaller words than that." He feigned a poor imitation of woe, the light never leaving his eyes as he already turned to walk off.

Solendis maintained his composure, sticking to his condescending gaze of disappointment. But as Vissehn began to walk off, he raised his voice. “You’re a smart boy, educated or not, so listen to me. Stenden cannot afford to be a boy, not now, not ever. I’m not sure where you’ve lived exactly, but the entire system that holds the Emberglades together is predicated on the ideas of nobility- exclusivity- the right to rule because we are a cut above the rest. Let the people see him the boy he is and not their Lord, and you’ll have what we have now, only ten-fold.”

The bark of authority in Solendis words made Vissehn straighten-- though perhaps not for the intended reason. Hackles raised and blood thick with liquor and assurance, he turned and closed the distance faster than his stumbling in the hall had would indicate. 

This close to the man, Vissehn could see the weight of years in the lines around his eyes, the necessities he had born in the name of the Emberglades; he’d been illused and run up by wars and ledgers and lost causes. In other times, Vissehn might have sheathed his bladed tongue and let the man go on with his platitudes and his conceptions, but alcohol made truth out of anger and the commonborn youth had so much truth in him.

“Cut above?” His grin pulled sideways. “Oh, fancy that, cut above. See, even piss drunk an’ half blind from thistle I shoulda never mistook you for Sederis, cause there was a bloke that knew the truth in it, didn’t he?” Vissehn’s words were sharp with laughter. “Ain’t a single soul of us better than the dirt we’ll die in, save by the deeds done on it, not the blood we’re born of.” He canted his head and let his gaze streak over Solendis. 

His following snort showed how much he thought of the inspection. “Your father seems to have ‘predicated’ that he was right to rule by sowin’ more graves than any other fucker; how his get carry on is on them, I figure.”

“My father sowed those graves so he could reap almost three centuries of peace!” Solendis responded to Vissehn’s snort. “And there is more blood that has yet to be spilled to let Stenden enjoy three hundred more. Leave it up to people like you and we’d still be a wartorn backwater, stabbing each other over better plots dirt. Content to accept your lot, and do as you please. No ambition to change things for the better! Nothing beyond what can be touched and felt on the morrow!”

Solendis threw his arm out to his side, gesturing at the manor and everything that surrounded it. The fields, the villages, and for now, the soldiers that were fighting on their behalf from all over Quel’thalas. “So yes, we are a cut above the rest. Because building a better tomorrow is more important that the price we pay today. That was something Sederis understood, before the end. It is that, which puts Stenden a cut above the rest.”

“Which includes you.” He brought his arm back round and pointed his finger at him, the distance now close enough to bring his fingers inches from his chest. “You more you remind him that he’s a boy, free to do as he pleases, the more you drag him down to your level. Keep it up and he’ll be back to square one- No one will bear an ounce of respect for him. His words will carry no weight as they did at the start. And I’d sooner be damned before watching him get humiliated- and underestimated like that again.”

Sobriety was the better part of wisdom, and even when not a bottle or more in, Vissehn could not be called wise. “Like me, eh?” His voice was low and soft, a shadow coming to those bright eyes. “And what the fuck do you think you know about me?”

He was in Solendis space then, closing that distance so that the finger extended pressed against the fabric of his tunic. “I know your lot-- a merchants lad’ll break your bones, a lords son’ll bury the lot. I know how many of my cousins had long ears after their mums spent a spell as maid in a manor. That’s how you shape your tomorrows-- kill the kind that don’t match, or if you’re feelin’ charitable, just fuck it into them. You all pretend to some greatness, somethin’ pure and noble of the blood, but I seen what your lot do when no one important is lookin, and your kind is as base as mine. Leastwise we don’t have the gall to claim ourselves any mans betters.” The deep hate in him seeped out into his words, and he pushed forward so the finger jabbed hard against the fabric. “That you think Stenden’s greatness has got anything to do with Mereded, or you, or this bloody manor and name-- that’s where you’re wrong.”

Vissehn grabbed Solendis’ wrist, his lean and long fingers gripping tight enough to show the strength of the boy but not yet painful. “I’ve bled and killed for better tomorrows-- cut enough short for others to know the weight of a future and how little it really is. Stenden’s got a greatness to him, but it’s not been inherited from warlords or passed on by cuckolded politicians. He’s got vision, a heart big enough to carry the burdens of his ancestors an’ a mind canny enough to know when to hold fast or when to fold.”

He released Solendis, shaking his hand as though he had touched something filthy. “Everyone ‘round here got their heads so full of shite, Emberheart, Illithia, sayin’ names like they got weight behind the letters somewhere. You want a son at the end of this? Stay out of my way. Elsewise Emberglades’ll get a Lord, for certain-- one without a soul. I’ve looked into the eyes of the livin’ dead, and I’d take on a scourge and a legion afore I have to see another home lost to a man whose got more nobility than soul.”

Solendis rubbed his wrists, “Then I’m afraid to say that such horrors await you.” The Steward spoke evenly, knowing better to test the patience of an impulsive drug addled youth- With a body count to his name. “Maybe not now, maybe not for a hundred more years. But when Stenden is a boy no longer, you’ll find that he’ll sell his soul on his own accord. Because you are absolutely right. You are right. Stenden has greatness to him, he’s growing into it right now, but all great rulers understand that a soul must be sacrificed to rule-.”

He let his arm sink to his sides. “To rule well with kindness, and justice. To put his people first. That leaves no space for himself or the baseness you seek to encourage.” 

Then his hands clenched into fists. “You claim I know nothing of you? Well, touché Mr. Bladeborn- or whatever your namesake truly is! I am not those men who inflicted misery upon you and yours, they are not my lot!” He thrusts a finger at Stenden’s office, still glowing with candlelight within. “HE is my lot. Stenden, Riah, even my brother, THEY are my lot. We live, trying to undo the sins of our fathers, to make the blood they spilled and injustices they wrought WORTH it.”

Solendis pushes himself forward, folding his arms once more. “So, you tell me to stay out of your way? Let my son live a little? Indulge in his desires? Your way will turn Stenden into one of those Lordlings you hate.”

“He doesn’t have to sell shit!” Vissehn roared, losing the thin threads of control he had on himself. His hands shot forward, clawed to grab Solendis by his tunic but at the last moment he jerked his hands back as though burnt. “You can be kind an’ good an’ still have power-- The High Cleric, The Knight Commander-- you can take lives an’ still be good, and real. Don’t need a title, don’t need a-- a legacy to protect. You’re gonna kill him an’ not even have a body to mourn!” 

He ran his hands through his hair manically, laughing roughly. “You’re offering your fuckin-- your fucking son-- for a future that you can’t even see is all going to shite! You’re layin’ him on an altar and lettin’ the world go in with the knife. Gods, I might as well be fuckin’ trying to reason with Her!” 

The eyes that turned on Solendis were thick with undisguised disgust. “He ain’t your lot. You might have gotten him on his mother, but he’s got more of Sederis in him, an’ that means he can be more than you’re giving credit for.”

Vissehn turned away and rubbed his face, exhausted from the anger he’d let fly. He was a tall youth but he was so lean, hungry in every sense and it showed in the way the light flickered over the sharp edges of his cheeks and the faint hollows beneath. His head pounded, the lights were all too much, and he’d thought of Her for the first time in-- in too long. “You’re not my employer, an’ until the time Stenden sends me off like th’nothin I am, I’m his. However long he’s got a soul burnin’ in there, he’s got me.” The weight of the declaration settled in his soul, and he realized he meant it. “You want to know the ilk who is swearing themselves to your lad?” The words tumbled out before his reason and self preservation could stop them.

“Vissehn, once of the Hawk.” He shrugged and let his grin return, still wicked but dimmed. “My deals-- my vows-- are good.”

Solendis gives a moment for his confession to sink in. “Ah, so,” he speaks after taking in its meaning. The rumors were true. He had heard whisperings after looking to Zarannis’ background and the tribe of Tel’dorei that she had spent the best years of her youth with- The Hawk Tribe. The boy was Unwelcomed- Exiled- Dead in the eyes of his clansmen. “We could never confirm if you wore the mark that all Exiles of your kind wear. But I see where all that spite comes from.”

His arms unfold, reaching for his chin, a calculating look flashing in his eyes. “Very well. I think there’s no point on harping-on on what’s already been said. You belong to my son’s retinue. You say you’re good on your promises- Then good. Serve him well. Just know that Stenden, like Sederis before him, understood the meaning and value of sacrifice. It’s only a matter of time before he offers his soul to the Emberglades.”

Vissehn did not look back as he left Solendis in the common room, the stifflegged walk to his own rooms too long by far. Solendis had no answer from the youth to that parting volley, only the seething quiet of rage contained poorly behind clenched teeth. Vissehn slammed his door, knowing it would only cement whatever the man thought of him and finding he wanted to prove every base thought true this time. Let them think him a roustabout; a good for nothing witches get. He was and worse, for all they would ever know of him.

When the door closed, though, he slumped against the wood, hand rising to catch at his collar.

In the dark spanse of his suite, he stared. He stared until the shadows held no mystery, until the ghosts and monsters summoned with just Her thought had dissipated into vapor and paranoia. Only when he was sure, only when the lock slid I to place and the windows shuttered against the night, did he settle on the overstuffed coverlet. 

Vissehn pulled up the tunic, palm grazing the fabric of the binding beneath. His fingers pushed between the layers of bandage, and he twisted until his breath came short and his vision swam.

People like you.

You’re the first real friend I’ve had Viss.

He threw himself down on the bed, eyes closed as he tried to find the moment under the stars, the burn in his belly.

Instead, the press of Solendis finger seemed to burn instead, the judgement lingering long after the night and sleep claimed Vissehn, once-of-the-Hawk.

--

@retributionpriest @stormandozone @thanidiel

I think I liked you better when you didn’t have a knife in your hand, Peaches... Chapter 205 -  Together

When Blake finds herself sold out to the Saviours by her abusive fiancé, she realises that she’s certainly not on her own anymore and finds an unlikely friend in Negan. And Negan does NOT like men who beat their girlfriends, one tiny bit….

Chapter 205 - Together

[Blake confesses all to Negan, but how will he take the news?]

--------------------------------------

Hand-in-hand Blake led Negan into their room, where the last of the weak, late afternoon light, could be seen to be waning at the window at the far end of the large space.

The blonde took in a slow and deep breath, as Negan dropped his hand from hers and closed the door behind the pair of them.

Feeling her stomach doing somersaults, Blake wiped her clammy hands down the sides of her jeans before turning to look at the dark-haired Saviour.

Negan was stood there now, facing her, his chin dipped low and his eyes wide and almost fearful now in the dim light.

Blake felt herself flush, tearing her gaze away from him for the briefest of moments.

"It's getting dark in here," she mumbled, moving over and switching on a tall lamp that sat near to the window.

She was delaying, she knew that, but all this, telling Negan, well it was far harder than she thought it'd be…

"Peaches…" said Negan suddenly his voice low and almost pleading.

And Blake could only swing around and look at him, pressing her lips together for a moment before speaking.

"I'm pregnant."

The words tumbled from her mouth before she could stop them. In that moment she hated how they sounded. So stark and unfeeling in the midst of everything.

To her dismay, Negan didn't say anything, his face blank and unreadable.

"I-I don't know how many weeks, I-" she stopped for a moment, swallowing hard. "-I...w-we...me and Carson...we didn't get that far. I just- I wanted to tell you."

Blake saw Negan swallow too, his adam's apple bobbing up and then back down his tanned throat.

"We were careful..." he finally said. "Jeez, I mean I was usin' a goddamn rubber-"

"I know," said Blake with a shake of her head.

The pair of them were only standing a few feet apart, but right now that distance felt like miles.

"Then how?" Negan asked, his face a picture of frowning disbelief.

Blake shrugged. "I-I don't know...maybe that time the condom broke.." she said worrying at her lips again, her eyes falling to the floor.

It had just been the one time.

Both of them panting and groaning, both basking in the afterglow of their orgasms, Negan had made to slide himself from Blake only to realise that the condom had split apart.

And while the both of them were in the midst of an argument afterwards about what they should do, Mia, from the next room had begun to cry, drawing both parents attention her way.

And so the moment had been forgotten..

Blake knew that it had been irresponsible and childish to think that that one slip up couldn't have mattered. But in this world, with winter on its way, with a harvest to store, and with Mia to take care of, Blake had had enough on her mind to distract her from such a pressing issue.

"Shit," Negan muttered, closing his eyes for a brief moment as he too remembered.

Blake chewed on her lip, watching him worriedly, folding her arms over herself.

All of a sudden she felt very alone, and very stupid. As though all of this was on her. And maybe it was…

Maybe she should have been more responsible. Maybe she should have been more on top of things.

These were similar to the thoughts the blonde had had when she was with David.

But Negan was not David. This was not the same.

And the dark-haired Saviour proved that, by marching suddenly towards Blake and pulling her to him.

"C'mere, Darlin'" he murmured, as he encapsulated her in his arms, where Blake could feel warm and safe. "We'll deal with this shit together, alright. Whatever happens, you ain't on your own, you understand me?"

Blake closed her eyes burying her face in his neck, breathing in his warm and musky scent.

She knew that he probably feared losing her again. But Blake was determined not to let that happen this time.

She just needed to face facts, see the reality of the situation and what was likely to happen.

This wasn't going to be a fairytale ending. It was likely their child would never be born. It was cruel and stark, but both of them knew that now.

Negan let out a shuddering breath, resting his chin on top of her head, his bristly beard ruffling her blonde hair.

"I don't think we should tell anyone," Blake said in what was almost a whisper. "I don't want anyone knowing."

This hurt her to say, remembering back to the last time, when Negan had strutted around the Sanctuary with his chest puffed out, looking every inch the proud father, letting everyone know that Blake was pregnant. He had been so happy then, so excited about the prospect of becoming a father.

And yet now, both of them knew there was likely no chance of Blake giving him that.

Blake wanted to cry, but Negan's warm arms around her seemed to stop her.

Together they would be ok.

She knew that now.

Blake let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry," she said sadly.

And Negan didn't reply immediately, merely pressing a firm kiss to the top of her head.

"Peaches, you have no fuckin' reason to be sorry," she heard him say, as he pulled back a little to gaze down into her face. "This world is jus' gonna continue to treat us both like shit until we're dead, we both shoulda' realised that by now. It's like we survived and Mother-nature, or God, or whatever motherfucker you wanna blame, don' wan' us here, and is just rainin' down shit on us, tryin' to make our lives hell, 'til we give up, or do something stupid enough to get ourselves killed. So, we jus' gotta deal with all this an' make it through. We gotta survive, Peaches. Together. You with me on that?"

Blake stared up at him, wondering for a moment how this man could ever be called a monster? Just how he could be feared or loathed? Because to Blake right now, Negan was her saviour. The man she who had done nothing but love and protect her. The man she was determined to be with until the bitter end.

This wasn't just love anymore. This was sheer devotion. All encapsulating, and ever-lasting.

"I'm with you," she said with a nod.

Negan reached up and cupped her cheek with his hand, before skimming it down the length of her arm, taking in a long breath of air as he stared down at the blonde before him.

"This is gonna be a fuckin' shitshow ain't it?" he said in a tired voice, as Blake nodded again.

"I think so," she agreed quietly. "But the less people that know the better. If I'm gonna have to go through this, I just want it to be in private, y'know? Y-You could just say I've got the flu or something..."

Negan sighed. "Lets' just think about all that when the damn times comes, alright, Peaches?"

Blake gave a single nod, taking his hand in hers. But neither got the chance to say another words, as suddenly there came a soft knock upon the door.

So much for somewhere where they wouldn't be disturbed, Blake thought, almost rolling her eyes.

Negan gave a sniff, standing up straight, running his thumb over Blake's cheek one last time, before turning around on his booted heel, looking once again every inch the Negan everyone else here knew.

"Come in," he barked.

The door was pushed open a moment later to reveal Arat stood on the other side with a tearful Mia perched on her hip.

"Sorry, Boss...B…" said the curly haired woman, who today was dressed in a baggy green shirt and black jeans, nodding first to Negan and then to Blake. "Mia was getting a little fussy and asking for you both."

Mia, who was red in the face gave a small wail making grabby hands for Negan who was nearest, who swiftly marched forward, grabbing the toddler beneath her armpits and hauling her from Arat's arms.

"Everything okay?" Arat suddenly asked Blake staring at the blonde woman over Negan's shoulder, her eyes sweeping over Blake's face. "John from the garden said you collapsed earlier."

Arat had been such a good friend to Blake, especially after what had happened after her last pregnancy. So it felt so awful now to lie directly to her face like this.

"I...uh...Carson said I was just a little overworked and a bit dehydrated is all," she said flashing Arat a smile. "I feel fine now."

But Arat's eyes lingered on Blake's face a little longer that Blake would have liked before she nodded a little unconvincingly.

"Cool, just wanted to make sure," Arat said tilting her head to the side, her brown eyes never leaving Blake's.

"Was there somethin' else you needed?" came Negan's sharp voice suddenly from their side, as he turned, angling an eye at Arat.

Mia, whose face was buried in Negan's collar, gave an audible snuffle.

"No, there wasn't," the brown haired woman said quickly,, turning on her heel and heading out of the room, pulling the door closed behind her.

Negan gave an loud huff once the door was closed, looking to Blake.

"You alright?" he asked in a far gentler voice that the one he had used with Arat.

Blake just glanced at him, moving over and locking the door.

All she wanted was to shut out the world.

Mia could stay with them tonight, in their bed, because Blake knew that, right now, all they needed was each other.

"Mmmhmmm," she managed to murmur, pacing over to where Negan stood and brushing Mia's hair back from her sticky face. "We all will be."

-------------------------------------

Miles from the Sanctuary, as the last few threads of daylight left the sky, Rick dropped a large box he was carrying, to the ground with a clatter, causing the loud noise to echo off the walls of the open garage he was standing in.

"Throw any more like that and we'll have nothing to give the Saviours on Friday," came Michonne's voice from behind him.

Rick gave a sigh of frustration, scowling.

Their tribute this month unfortunately was a small one, and on top of that, with winter coming the Alexandrians were growing more and more desperate for supplies for themselves. So giving away more than half every month to the Saviours was becoming nigh on impossible.

"We can't keep doing this," said Rick in a hoarse voice. "Bowing down to Negan and the Saviours."

Michonne placed down her box quietly, before standing up straight once more and eyeing Rick.

"What are you suggesting we do?" she asked quietly.

Rick gave a shrug at this. "After this pick up, we send more people out to look for guns-"

"We don't have the resources-" began Michonne, but Rick cut across her.

"You know our people, Michonne," he said in a serious voice. "All of them would rather fight than starve."

Michonne contemplated Rick's words for a moment.

"Carl thinks there's another way. He's not going to be happy about us going out and finding more guns to piss off the Saviours…" the dreadlocked woman murmured.

But Rick gave a shake of his head.

"Well when we have the guns and the ammo, we won't just be going there to piss them off," he said, his brown eyes sparkling as he spoke. "We'll be going there to kill them. All of them. An' Carl can say what he likes, but I know how this story's supposed to end. And that's not with the Saviours in charge. Not anymore."

-----------------------------------------

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unholy.

60 things ; things you said that i wish you hadn’t & things you said with clenched fists. — bang chan ; stray kids

demon au! —fallen angel!chan x demon!reader

requested: [yes!]

(a/n): “nunc ostende te” is latin for “now show yourself.” i didnt,,, wanna look up an actual demon summon cause i’m a whole ass scaredy cat so that’s the most i did sjzknaksmz

technically, chan shouldn’t be doing this. he shouldn’t be drawing a pentagram on his apartment floor. he shouldn’t be opening a summoning book. and he definitely shouldn’t be flipping to the demons section of said book.

this would’ve all applied to him if he still had wings on his back. but he didn’t — they were clipped off months ago, and chan was sent to tumble down to the earth, forced to make his own path from then on. did it bother him? well, maybe if he thought about it enough, it would. he doesn’t allow himself to drift off to the past, though; things are left in the past for a reason, and sometimes, they’re better off there — to be forgotten.

chan thumbed through the demons section, his eyes flitting across the hundreds of pages until he found what he was looking for.

how to summon a demon.

he scanned the page, looking for the ceremony that had to take place. he skipped over the descriptions of demons — different types, kinds of powers, different demon specialities. chan wasn’t interested in all that; he just wanted to summon a demon. did he have any reason? no, not really. maybe he wanted to spite God further or something, he didn’t know.

the book, which was filled with descriptions of supernatural beings and different summons, materialized in front of him in the early dawn. the ancient literature acted as if it were a magnet, reeling in chan’s interest until he finally picked it up. which is how he found himself in the middle of a pentagram.

he set the book down, outside of the pentagram’s reach. a nervous huff of air left him. why the hell was he doing this? he didn’t want to come face to face with a soul-eating creature from the depths of hell, and he certainly didn’t want to be ripped to shreds before his soul followed suit.

chan continued anyways. he’s already finished the preliminary setup — there was no legitimate reason to stop now.

he took a deep breath in a futile effort to relieve his nerves. was chan stupid? going through with this, yes, he most likely was. did he lose his mind? most definitely.

chan took a quick glance at the sentences he needed to utter. he had to get them right; if he didn’t, he might as well sell his soul to the actual devil.

he began the chant, albeit very shakily. chan was certain he was going to die tonight. his few months spent on earth were going to abruptly end as soon as he finished.

“nunc ostende te.” as he uttered the final sentence, chan snapped his eyes open. if he were going to die right now, he might as well look his killer in the eyes.

the dim flicker of the candles’ flames were the only things he could see. nothing moved, nothing changed, not even the air felt different — something chan thought to be the first aspect to dramatically shift after chanting a summon this dark.

he breathed a sigh of relief. thank the heavens that didn’t work.

the candles were extinguished. the air became bitingly cold. and suddenly, chan feared for his life.

“i don’t know who’s coming out but you don’t have to show yourself — i’d be more than happy to just go to sleep.” he spoke into the still air, trying to convince whatever spirit entered his apartment to leave him the hell alone.

“you summoned me, man. it’s your fault you asked for a demon.” a dark voice bounced off his living room walls. as it stopped speaking, a body materialized at the edge of the pentagram. well, chan thought, it was a nice couple months.

the gaze that met his eyes was apathetic, empty and almost… entertainingly bored. there were no visible horns, no bats’ wings or pointy tail chan could make out. if he didn’t know any better, he’d assume the person in front of him was just a mortal.

you spoke again, this time with an amused edge decorating your speech. “i don’t take fallen angels’ souls, if that’s why your mind’s traveling twenty trillion miles an hour. i don’t even collect souls in general, dude. i just fuck with people.”

“how did you know i’m a fallen angel?” chan’s eyes glinted with a curious apprehension; he knew demons could read minds — angels were granted that ability, as well — but he didn’t know they could differentiate immortal beings from mortal ones. this was something angels weren’t granted the gift to do. unless they made themselves known to each other, angels weren’t able to tell supernatural from human.

“you got a funny aura ‘round you. i usually only see that with fallen angels or whatever. but what’s a former God’s kiss-ass doing in the middle of a pentagram?” you raised an eyebrow conspicuously. the few times you were summoned before, you’d only been greeted by a handful of fallen angels. their reasoning for summoning such a dark creature was simple — they were bored and wanted to tell their former ruler to “fuck off.”

chan shrugged his shoulders at your question. he didn’t have a response; he didn’t even know why he did it himself. your head rolled back on your shoulders as a sharp laugh echoed throughout the room.

“your thoughts are fucking hilarious, just thought i should tell ya.” your comment made a blush furiously form on chan’s face. maybe this was a really shitty idea.

“listen, fallen angel, i gotta make other rounds, so i’m gonna strike a deal with ya.” you watched as your summoner’s eyebrows rose, prompting you to continue.

“i ain’t gonna do some typical demon shit, alright? but i wanna mark ya — it isn’t a bad thing, man, calm down!” you really were entertained by this. what a hell of a fun time this was making itself out to be!

chan’s eyes squinted as he stared you down. he had his apprehensions, of course — he didn’t know what the hell a mark was; he was never taught that! what if this was a way for you to siphon his soul from him, bit by bit, until you drained it from his body entirely?

“it’s just so i’m the only demon that’s allowed near ya. no one else can come anywhere close to you with this. so, while you’re protected from other nasty lil’ shits, you got your own lil’ shit that can annoy you until the end of the universe.” you observed the former angel’s face, gauging his reaction to your offer. you were pleasantly surprised when he nodded his head.

“fine. mark me.”

after you marked the fallen angel, you found yourself constantly appearing at his side. he would almost jump out of his skin every time, which always provided you with an intense laughing session.

you learned quite a bit about chan. you were informed about the difficult schooling he was put through as a child; he’d reveal small bits and pieces about his life in the clouds, like how one time he almost made a fellow angel kick his ass past recognition.

“i was a really shitty angel, now that i think about it.” chan laughed out once, on one of the times you accompanied him at nightfall. “maybe you shoulda been born a demon.” you had joked that night, but chan took it harsher than you intended. the shift in his emotions was evident, as he turned colder toward you until you left him alone for the following week.

you chose your words more carefully after that night. sure, you were a demon — a supernatural entity born for the sole purpose of evil. but being a creature formed from pure hatred didn’t hinder the conscience you owned, regardless of how small it was.

your efforts weren’t always fruitful. tonight was one of those times.

chan had turned colder than ice just moments before, a comment you made angering him once more. the fallen angel became mute, barely even acknowledging you were still in his apartment. it hurt your feelings — pissed you off more than anything. you never intended to attack him with your choice of words. but, regardless of how cautious you were, so many things seemed to set chan off.

“chan, i dunno what your whole… issue or whatever is, but you ain’t gotta be a dick to me ‘cause of it.” you felt the boiling pit in your stomach grow as chan turned to face you. if looks could kill, both of you would have been reduced to dust.

“my problem, (y/n), is your heartless comments about how i ‘should’ve been born in hell.’ i was born an angel for a reason, just like you were born a demon for a reason.” his voice sliced through the air, making the fire in your stomach pour out. if chan wanted to see why you were a demon, oh, was he going to see why.

“okay, kid. your wings were torn off your back for a reason, and you wanna know why? ‘cause you fucking failed at being an angel! you couldn’t appease God, you couldn’t reach the standards he set. you. fucked. up.” your aura darkened as you continued spitting words at chan. flames seemed to form around your body as your fury fueled you.

“which means, angel boy, that you weren’t cut out to stay behind those damn pearly gates! you weren’t a good fit. you weren’t meant to stay at God’s ‘holy fucking side.’”

chan’s gaze filled with hatred and indignation as your jabs reached his ears. how dare you say that to him? how dare you act as if you know anything about heaven, about God?

his fists clenched and unclenched by his side as he listened to your tyraid. finally, chan snapped after your last insult hung in the air.

“you might as well have been banished to hell, ‘cause at least you woulda been surrounded by people who fucked up just as bad as you did, and people who were just as shitty as you.”

“stop acting as if you know anything about heaven. you’re a lowlife demon, for fucks sake!” his words felt hotter than the flames that licked at your skin down in hell.

“you’re the scum of the supernatural world. you hold no good in your heart, no light in your soul — nothing!” you watched as the glint in his eye grew into a ball of fire, aimed to hit you and reduce you to nothing.

“God wanted me at one point, which is the difference between you and i. someone wanted me, no one ever wanted you.”

chan’s words slammed into your brain. these thoughts — they weren’t new to you. you were well aware that no one wants a demon around. no one would ever want a demon around.

you could easily push those facts to the side if you or a fellow demon voiced them. but hearing them from chan, a former angel, someone God handpicked to serve him, lit you up.

“you’re just as terrible as us demons. you have no fucking soul, bang chan.”

“you deserve to rot in hell, just like the rest of us.”

with that, you disappeared from chan’s apartment. the fallen angel never saw you again.

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Hey Janis: you alright? Jimmy: Are you? Janis: Obviously stressing over what to wear for community service 😱😱 Janis: nah, just the standard bullshit though, nothing unexpected or that I can't handle Jimmy: that's a good shout, I heard there's gonna be a dickhead there with a 📷 and nowt to do cos he's too 😎🚬 to do what he's told Janis: Oh God, sounds like the worst Janis: 👍 for the warning, mate Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Go on then, answer for an answer Jimmy: what are you asking? Janis: I've already asked, are you alright? Jimmy: I ain't 😭 over picking up litter, clean tables every day, me Janis: 'course Janis: 💕 it so much you wanna do it for free, right Jimmy: The CG's wage ain't nowt to write up north about Jimmy: 💔💰🎻 Janis: I'm glad you've not got a family back home you're tryna support with coffee beans Janis: might make me almost feel bad, and I can't give my family the satisfaction so fuck you, like Jimmy: that you know of Jimmy: could have a 👶 in every mine Jimmy: fit as well as mysterious, like Janis: No one is fit enough they need to reproduce on an already overpopulated planet Janis: not even you, new boy 🤷 Jimmy: never said they were wanted 👶 Jimmy: in that part of the country, who isn't an unloved bastard Jimmy: 🗬🖋 Janis: obviously Janis: in this country we had to go to yours to really do fuck all about it for 50 odd years Janis: and who wants to go to Liverpool, honestly 🤢 Janis: least if you drag it up might contribute to your funds eventually Jimmy: You don't wanna go dig up that one band they're a bit famous for then? Jimmy: proper pissed on my #datenight plans that Janis: had enough ✌ & 💕 to last a lifetime, soz Janis: photoshop me in Jimmy: but have you had enough 👻🥊? Jimmy: think on, dickhead Janis: plenty 'round here for that Janis: though too many memebers of my family are still unfortunately living so Jimmy: UGH you NEVER wanna do the things I WANNA DO!! 😣😣 Janis: 😏 fine, jump bail with me and smuggle aboard the next ferry Janis: if you're gonna be a nag, like Jimmy: now you're 🗨 Jimmy: won't have to swap you for Asia for a bit Janis: Get her to guess the band, that'd be insightful Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Get her to do your community service, might get hit by a car or kidnapped by the twat driving long as he's got 🍬 Janis: Your attempt to get to spend more time with her is blatant Janis: 💔 she didn't show to your party, Gatsby? Jimmy: I'm just so 😍😍😍😍 soz mate Jimmy: and yeah tah for the salt in my wounds Janis: Poor boy Janis: 'least her boyfriend didn't shoot you, swings and roundabouts Jimmy: why you saying that like it's a good thing? Jimmy: born ready to ⚰ Janis: he'd not shoot me Janis: 😇 that I am Janis: wouldn't be fair Jimmy: he'd probably miss, any road Jimmy: leave me with a scar that does nowt but make me more fit and more mysterious Janis: 🙄 see, a good thing Janis: no one needs that, least of all you, so shy and retiring really, yeah Jimmy: ✔ Janis: don't you leave me on read, dickead Jimmy: or what? Janis: I won't send you a postcard when I get to where I'm really going Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: but gonna be I'm #living for the picture on the front Janis: Wish you were here has never been faker Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Wonder who grassed Jimmy: 💰 on 💀👑 Janis: Not a bet I'd take on 'cos probably Jimmy: that or your 🤵💍 wasn't as into 💔 as he reckoned he would be Jimmy: soz sir Janis: married to the job Janis: shoulda known Janis: not his school, like Jimmy: not like I fucked you on his desk, he got off way easier than he were 🗬🤤 Janis: All talk Janis: like all lads Jimmy: Oi Janis: Would you like me to tell you you're different Janis: you don't say much so it isn't untrue, on that count Jimmy: you've only got the one job, rich girl, do you seriously need me to tell you how to do it? Janis: I shouldn't put community service on my LinkedIn? 🤔 Janis: damn Jimmy: gutting I know Jimmy: you'll look proper fit in the jumpsuit an' all, all that possible promo just pissed up the wall Janis: shut up Janis: shit, I didn't ask Janis: what is gonna happen with your actual job? Janis: could you make the hours work without needing to let on to them or what Jimmy: it'll get out Jimmy: more 💰 on 💀👑 Janis: Time how long it takes her to be in your inbox with the 🖤mail Janis: make you her personal bitchboy for life Janis: ugh Jimmy: I'll just tell 'em, either they'll want me to do my shifts round it or they won't Janis: yeah Janis: sorry Jimmy: for what? Janis: if you get sacked Jimmy: dickheads need lattes all over town Janis: true Janis: shame if you don't even get a reference out of the experience though Jimmy: not sure I want one from a knobhead who's never there and reckons my name's Jamie though Janis: still devastated Janis: but not about me, being supportive Jimmy: he could be my fall guy, weren't me it were all him, shady twat Jimmy: never even set foot in a school, me Janis: Get your coworker to alibi Jimmy: he'd obvs only do it if you asked him Jimmy: like owt else Janis: don't do yourself down, babe Janis: he specifically said you seem like 'a chill guy' Jimmy: I were dragging you down if I were doing owt, babe Jimmy: but alright Janis: yeah well you've called me a slag before Janis: not news Jimmy: Have I? Jimmy: don't sound like me that Jimmy: always keep it #goals Janis: yeah, you weren't being very 'chill' either Janis: but he don't have to know Jimmy: #whenshekeepsyoursecrets Janis: every battered wife knows the drill Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Jimmy: 🤞 lad Janis: wouldn't worry, 🐷 do fuck all 'cept protect one of their own Janis: #ladsladslads Jimmy: @ my other co-workers Jimmy: been busted lads Janis: brothers in brews Janis: such a strong bond Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: making me emotional tbh Jimmy: 👮🚔💕 Janis: gotta beat real siblings, like Jimmy: speaking of, you reckon they'll let me take the 🐕 with me? Save me a job Janis: Worth asking Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I've gotta beg the speakers back from 'em so Janis: class first impressions Jimmy: I'll do it, soft lad is obvs the first impression I make as standard Janis: you saying you can bat your eyelashes better than me? Jimmy: duh Jimmy: mine are well longer than yours Janis: fuck off Jimmy: 📏 matters, Janet Janis: you'd know, fat bitch Jimmy: 😱😱😱😱 Jimmy: just 'cause I've got better tits than you, no need to start a scrap Janis: Tits don't count if you only got 'em 'cos you're obese Janis: ask your girlfriend Jimmy: I will Jimmy: properly miss her so any excuse for a 🗨 Janis: you deserve each other, truly Jimmy: Tah, my dear Janis: so you'll be pleased to know you'll be spending less time with me from now on Jimmy: why? Janis: my parents have really leaned into the narrative and have decided you're the enemy Jimmy: Bill's 👻 must've had a word Janis: Yeah Janis: might've mentioned the joyride just to really fuck 'em off and all Jimmy: You wanna call things off then? Jimmy: it weren't part of the plan, them getting Shakespearean about it Janis: nah, fuck that Janis: they'd be doing it regardless, decided they should finally give the whole parenting thing a go Janis: just saying the story can be we're being cruelly kept apart Janis: not that I'm planning to stay locked in my fucking tower actually, already made my first break so Jimmy: Alright Janis: sound more buzzing you don't have to see me, could you Jimmy: 😁😆😄 Jimmy: there you go Janis: 💕 Janis: so sweet Janis: I won't shout about my MIA status, wouldn't be #goals for you to not know where I am Jimmy: do owt for you, you know it and it's obvs vice versa Jimmy: you just proved it there Janis: 'course Janis: will say it was me and hot barista that planned it all if you need Jimmy: bollocks are you taking credit for my idea Janis: I did the heavy work Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: that's the fakest thing you've ever tried to make sound real Janis: excuse me Jimmy: you heard Janis: don't chat shit Janis: We both pulled it off but we can throw him under the 🚎 Janis: you've already taken Jamie away from me Janis: what's the point now Janis: save yourself Jimmy: shut up Janis: do you love him? Jimmy: Do you? Janis: yeah Janis: one convo and bam Janis: actually that 😍 bitch Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: I'll see myself out Janis: 'til 💀 do us part, dickhead Jimmy: that'll be you and Mr Lucas Jimmy: I'd remember if I'd been down on one knee Janis: me too Janis: so hard done by Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: you cool with being done that dirty Janis: 📏 counts for shit when you lack enthusiasm Jimmy: ain't the first time Janis: shh Janis: don't need to know how often you were down on your knees, tah Jimmy: that don't bode well for our insta q&a Janis: fake rock my world some more then Janis: selfish Jimmy: I'll climb to the top of your white tower any time, girl Jimmy: you're the one MIA Janis: Only at night Janis: gotta be up bright and early for our date 💕 Jimmy: I don't think fucking on a pile of rubbish we've just collected would be considered very #goals but I'll give it a 🥇 spin Janis: there's no way 'round how unapproved all this criminal activity is Janis: still worth it Jimmy: Dunno about you but I'm 👏🏆 in every DM Jimmy: that 😎🚬 rep been set proper in stone now Janis: Lucky you Janis: I've been too busy getting lectured Jimmy: poor baby Janis: I know Jimmy: What can I do to make you feel better? Janis: down you go Jimmy: Alright Janis: I don't know though Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: You in a rush too? Jimmy: Got loads of other girlfriends to 👀 Janis: how many fakes one though Jimmy: That'd be telling Janis: so go on Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: have multiple fake girlfriends or tell me about the others Jimmy: Well? Janis: you could get them all to do different shit for you Janis: potential there Janis: idk why you wouldn't tell me if you did though, not like it'd fake break my heart Jimmy: There's your answer then Jimmy: not gonna give away secrets you don't give a shit about hearing Jimmy: what kind of power move Janis: You want to fake break my heart Jimmy: Why would I wanna go off script? Jimmy: The plan is you break mine Janis: I know Janis: not likely to forget what we're doing here Jimmy: Don't forget to tell me how to make you feel better then Jimmy: it's obvs all I'm breathing for Janis: just as obvs I don't really care about any of the Drama™ Janis: as long as I've got you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: just as obvs that I wanna know where you are 'cos I'm bored and dunno where to go or what to do Jimmy: [sends her a pic of him at the park by his house like oh hey] Janis: 😍 Janis: obvious, if the dog isn't with you then I'm not really interested Jimmy: [a pic of Twix because of course] Janis: colour me convinced Janis: we should probably show the fans a united front anyway right Janis: not turned on each other soon as the law got involved, like Jimmy: 🖌☻ Jimmy: not racist if it's your happy colour, right? Janis: 😂 Janis: it's NOT a free pass but Janis: not mad about it, don't tell Jimmy: 😅😅 Janis: it was alright though Janis: the party Janis: aside from doing what we set out to achieve Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: I might throw another one Jimmy: maybe it'll be my rep next place I end up Janis: 🦋 Jimmy: 🤡 probably getting closer Janis: no fit and mysterious but Janis: maybe the next place will have less cunts Jimmy: could be fit and murderous Jimmy: 🤡🔪🔪 Janis: 🙏 Janis: keep my 👀 on the news Jimmy: I'll give you a shoutout, baby Jimmy: write your name in blood or something Janis: Carve it in a victim so I know you remember it 💘 Janis: 🤤🤤 Jimmy: like I said, owt for you, Jules Janis: Thanks Janis: just tell me when you're gonna murder-suicide Janis: can't stay dying here forever Jimmy: I promise Janis: Good Janis: 💀💕 Jimmy: 👻💕 Janis: gonna have to get as far out of this place as I can before I go Janis: refuse to be stuck haunting this shithole for eternity Jimmy: #same Jimmy: though I dunno where's gonna be any different Janis: anywhere you don't know anyone and they don't know you Janis: I reckon Jimmy: that's here for me Jimmy: still don't 💕 it Janis: you'll have to go back home then? Janis: don't know how you're getting through customs as a wanted man but you'll make it happen Jimmy: fuck that Jimmy: if that's where my heart's meant to be you can actually 🔪 it out Janis: would LOVE to have your heart Janis: ultimate goals amirite Jimmy: you can take it then Janis: hot Janis: seeing as everywhere on earth is shit then, shall we just go straight to hell? Jimmy: You said you were going 😇☁ Janis: hold onto your 😎 'cos it's the same place Janis: truth is, just a fucking bummer if you're 😈 Jimmy: What? Janis: heaven and hell are the same place, some people reckon Janis: what could be more torturous than constant classical music and having to wear white for someone so fit and mysterious? Janis: you're gonna be 💔 baby Jimmy: How could you!? Jimmy: pissed on my afterlife Janis: So soz Janis: can always subscribe to reincarnation, might be a laugh Jimmy: 🦍 actually Jimmy: Dan would be so 😍😍 Janis: 😂 Janis: Ahh Dan Jimmy: OMG you can be a 😳🐷 #fated Janis: Shut up Janis: I'm not being breakfast Jimmy: Or a 🦇!!! Janis: That's more appealing Janis: I'd do that Janis: give fuckers rabies amongst other awful diseases Jimmy: such a romantic, you Janis: you just need to avoid hunters Janis: you can be chilling up trees, when you're not kidnapping ladies Jimmy: protect me when I'm 💤 babe Janis: Cute Janis: how am I gonna know it's you though? Jimmy: What kind of signal do you want? Jimmy: 🚬☁? Janis: where are you getting 😎 from and all Janis: I'll just have to bite a lot of gorilla necks 'til one of 'em is into it Jimmy: Duh the lasses I've kidnapped Jimmy: what else are they good for? Janis: I don't know if they really discussed that in king kong Janis: I hope not Jimmy: Date night 2 after we've dug up Lennon and Co Jimmy: I've never seen it Janis: Me either Janis: I assume it's not a classic about Beastiality but Janis: might get 🍀 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: can liveblog Dan Jimmy: 🥇💡 Jimmy: in his DMs til his lass leaves him Janis: love that rep for me Janis: homewrecking then peacing out Jimmy: you have got form Janis: what are friends for Janis: free to tap that now, you're welcome Jimmy: if I wanted to 🐸 lad wouldn't have stopped me Jimmy: but tah very much Janis: yeah? Jimmy: What's your question? Janis: never mind Janis: his resemblance to pond life is uncanny Jimmy: 🎯 Janis: 🙊 Janis: I hope they're not all single now Janis: they get even more demonic when there's no dick around to distract them even for a sec, like Jimmy: Do you want me to do a poll? They'll tell me Janis: They'd lie to bone you Janis: Only Asia is stupid enough to not, God bless Jimmy: lucky me Janis: you don't have medical level BO and you can form basic sentences Janis: makes you a 🤴 to them but not special, you feel me Janis: the bar is underground Jimmy: SUCH a sweet talker, you 😳 Janis: I know Janis: just feeling #inspired by you Jimmy: you're meant to inspire me, dickhead Jimmy: gotta do everything myself round here Janis: I'll distract you Janis: make you do the wrong thing Janis: just 😇 things Jimmy: I'l see the paint coming this time, Judith Jimmy: it's the sober light of day Janis: Unfortunately Janis: my shower looked like a Pollock painting this AM Janis: and I can feel just how unsober last night was Jimmy: where's the 📷 you rookie? Janis: 😰 Jimmy: this is where us being #starcrossed falls down Jimmy: useless without me Janis: I wasn't feeling very inspired Janis: after the bollocking from the police, then from my parents, all whilst I could barely stand or 👀 Jimmy: you're 💔 me, girl Janis: I didn't even know where you were Janis: so dramatic, lowkey a stampede when garda showed Jimmy: I get it, you had your 🤞 they'd already sent me back to the grim north Janis: of course Janis: fake prison boyf Jimmy: fuck every other ldr that's the one Janis: could send you the good treats and nudes and shit Janis: so much more manageable Jimmy: you'd never be that nice to me Janis: once 👏 you 👏 kill 👏 for 👏 me 👏 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: not got nowt else on Janis: won't even make it awkward and ask you to kill my sister Janis: pick whoever you wanna, got no preference here Jimmy: 💀👑 first Jimmy: the rest of 'em would feel it Janis: they are the flea to her rat Janis: gotta have that host body Jimmy: and I'd only have to touch her and she'd crumble to dust, an easy 🏆 Janis: How she's fucked as many lads as she has is beyond me Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 shh Janis: I know, it's disturbing and baffling on so many levels Janis: she doesn't even look like a good ride, who went there first and found out Janis: so many questions Jimmy: where's that q&a #content Mia? Janis: 😏 Janis: we should do one, not about the mystery of her skeletal vag Jimmy: the fans will have loads about the party and all that bollocks Jimmy: she'll have to wait Janis: gotta let the people know we made up Jimmy: can do it when you get here Jimmy: my brother's about but so's the 🐕 they're alright Janis: can keep the #content family-friendly Janis: read between the lines, lads Jimmy: yeah the 🐕 is more distracting than you Janis: Charming Janis: 😂 Janis: if I didn't feel like microwaved shit Jimmy: if you were 🥇 like me that wouldn't matter Janis: I didn't 📷 you don't know what I look like, twat Jimmy: you said feel Jimmy: nowt's been mentioned about how either of us look Janis: you sent me a pic Jimmy: and? Jimmy: you can either fake it or you can't 'cause you're either 🥇 or nowt Janis: 'course I can fake it Janis: just not gonna go that hard in front of your brother, obviously Janis: not 🥉 behaviour, that, just weird Jimmy: convenient that Jimmy: your excuse is non-existent 'cause as I said he's only got 👀 for the 🐕 Jimmy: bit like you Janis: 🙄 fine Janis: you're feeling unloved Jimmy: steady on, we're not having a therapy session on the 'gram Janis: just 😍 Janis: I know Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: what do you look like? Janis: I've really got to send you a picture so you can tell me I look like shit? Janis: How about we get there and I just listen to all those fake compliments, like Jimmy: If I say please, will you give in? Janis: depends Jimmy: on how I say it or on something else? Janis: if you limit yourself to a word after you've seen it as well Jimmy: I can do that Janis: [we all know you look good you always do bitch] Jimmy: unfair Jimmy: there's my word Janis: okay Janis: I can deal with that Janis: more ? than ! Jimmy: I dunno if I can deal with you setting me up Janis: huh? Jimmy: I just thought you were gonna look Jimmy: and then you're Janis: well you don't look bad either so Janis: it's fair Jimmy: bollocks is it Jimmy: you heard me, I said unfair Janis: well alright Janis: but you're just as unfair then Jimmy: Nah I weren't faking I were 🧟 when I'm actually a hot 🧛 Janis: you're a 👻 Janis: if you don't get to come back as the peak hottest version of yourself, that's some bullshit Jimmy: Duh I actually were 👴 when I ⚰ you just 👀 me as 😎🚬 Janis: Best of both worlds Jimmy: that'll be why I'm such an optimist Janis: ☀ Janis: exactly what comes to mind tbh Jimmy: obvs Janis: think I might've accidentally got on a ghost bus though Janis: it's taking longer than usual, maybe I've been on here forever? Janis: who can say Jimmy: I should've offered to pick you up in Ian's car Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend Janis: fake boyfriend who wants to clock up all those hours scrubbing graffiti Jimmy: only 'cause date night 3 I'm planning to take you to put it all back Jimmy: if you're inspiring enough, that is Janis: 😏 Janis: keep doubting #hatersaremymotivatorsbabe Jimmy: prove it then I can't Jimmy: job done ✔ Janis: you want another picture with a 📰🗞 to prove I'm not lying, yeah Jimmy: You, lie? Bollocks would you Janis: know, it's what you 💕 best about me Jimmy: Yeah Janis: how is the actual loml today then? Jimmy: What the fuck does that mean? Janis: BABE!!! Janis: love of my life, OMG Jimmy: have you just made that up? Janis: don't be ridiculous Janis: start # me as such like RN Jimmy: [cue extra socials flirting] Janis: shit just got real, lads Jimmy: must be why I miss you Jimmy: nowt to do with how shit this park is Janis: obviously not Janis: everything's just more shit when I ain't about Jimmy: You're not wrong, bighead Jimmy: Love being bollocked by paddy 👮 me Janis: 🤤 was pretty blatant to me but don't reckon they noticed Jimmy: lads in uniform are just so 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: if I were american I could 🤞 Ian would send me to military school but 💔 Janis: only get your institutionalized abuse if you're rich enough to afford it Janis: or Catholic Janis: and there's a surprising amount of hoops to jump through there Janis: gutting Jimmy: 💔 about that an' all Jimmy: tah for being a pair of heathens mum and dad Janis: you could get confirmed but they'll 👀 you for being a right weirdo from the off Janis: no one JOINS Catholicism by choice, you're born to it and run away 😱 Jimmy: brb gonna have my quick 😭 before you get here Janis: Baby Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: [showing up finally and pretending you checking his face for 😭 and wiping 'em away like 'you can calm down now'] Jimmy: [pretending that you're checking her for bits of paint she missed behind her ears and everywhere but we know you just wanna touch her face and hair always] Janis: [the standard get off moment but loling and loving it secretly] Jimmy: [just leaning on her and sighing dramatically like ugh what a day but it's more to annoy her and be close to her than an actual genuine fml because god forbid you're real about it] Janis: ['that bad, yeah?' and doing an even bigger dramatic sigh '#relatable, mate' we're all loving life lollollol] Jimmy: [when you're competitive af so you wanna do an even bigger sigh yourself but you can't because you've got that secret rib injury and it hurts to breathe in thanks so much Ian #gotta reclaim it from April and Steve] Janis: [simply must] Jimmy: [thank god yet again that 😒 is his default cos you gotta get on the swing for the #aesthetic of this q&a and that means she's gotta sit on you, suffer for your art boy] Janis: [definitely gonna notice though at some point you can't stop me lol] Jimmy: [she always notices things it's a blessing and a curse] Janis: [thank your mother and grandmother for that girl; getting up like ? 'did you actually get stampeded or was it garda?'] Jimmy: ['I get that you're my biggest fan but the q&a weren't planned for you' because especially can't answer that question moreso than any other] Janis: [frowns but as per makes more of a thing out of it so it's fake] Jimmy: [squish her face like she does to you like cheer up] Janis: ['I won't turn it into a game, you can just tell me' 'cos we all remember truth or dare and how well that went] Jimmy: [shrugs 'being a northern 45 has it's downs on top of the massive upsides' when you're acting like you're 👴 and did it by falling or coughing too hard from 🚬 either of which could've happened but didn't] Janis: [🙄 'so you're alright then?'] Jimmy: ['it ain't part of the job for you to worry about me'] Janis: [shrugs like give a shit, boy 'not an answer also, not sneaky'] Jimmy: ['I know how to fake it, that's the only answer you need to hear'] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [goes to check on Bobby and Twix like look how fine I am bye] Janis: [just chilling on the bench like you're so unphased but clearly not and he's clearly not fine otherwise he wouldn't have needed to fake it at all if it was nbd] Jimmy: [Twix jumping up him cos she's so full of love and he's just in casual agony like this is fine] Janis: [just shooting up like nope and coming over to distract Twix and throw her ball for her] Jimmy: [nhs direct be like DON'T smoke so of course that's what he's gonna do, when it's a habit and you don't think about how much it's gonna hurt but you've committed yourself to the 🚬 now] Janis: [just gesturing like lemme share that when you can see the wincing so at least he can only have half] Jimmy: [blatantly knows what she's doing and why but letting it happen cos ouch] Janis: [just doing overtime on that cig lmao] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like calm down as if you remotely have followed your own advice there] Janis: ['never know where the fans are hiding' looking 'round the park as if anyone is about 'cept families and tweens] Jimmy: ['You already looked hot, no need to go overboard'] Janis: ['what's your excuse then?'] Jimmy: ['For what?' you know perfectly well boyy] Janis: [a look that says as much 'you know'] Jimmy: [shakes his head like no I don't] Janis: ['you just want me to say it' tapping her head like not thick] Jimmy: ['so go on'] Janis: ['will you let me help you out if I do? I could walk the dog for you, at least'] Jimmy: [I've said before you can have her' gestures like take that dog away please and thank] Janis: [gestures at Bobby who's probably loving upon her like case in point] Jimmy: [shrugs like he'll get over it] Janis: ['she won't' 💔] Jimmy: [🎻 mime] Janis: [shakes head] Jimmy: [🙄] Janis: ['what did you dad say, like?'] Jimmy: ['I get it, you're trying to work out how up for committing crimes he is, you being underage and all, be a better shout if you faked it as yummy mummy though'] Janis: [tuts, 'runs in the family then'] Jimmy: [shakes his head really OTT because he likes his women 👵 'one of a kind, me'] Janis: [flexes muscle IRL] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [going back to the swing] Jimmy: [pushing her, don't hurt yourself boy] Janis: [just enjoying this but thinking the same, peeping back at him occasionally] Jimmy: [just looking at her like I'm alright cos downplaying it 5ever] Janis: ['alright, you're well hard, we get it'] Jimmy: ['I'm just such a lad, nowt I can do about it, like'] Janis: ['gift and a curse, sure'] Jimmy: [holds the swing to keep it still for a sec 'you alright?' cos even though he's only pushing her gently gotta take the piss that she might 🤢 cos so hungover] Janis: [shakes her head, dramatically 'I'm off the rails, babe and you're meant to be ride or die and you're not telling me nothing' big pout] Jimmy: [comes round the front of the swing so he can look at her dramatically like he's so OTT sorry and forlorn 'making me get on my knees'd be a bit cruel, but name owt else, baby'] Janis: ['yeah, don't' look like you better not with this mystery injury, boy 'tell me what the gameplan is, how are we doing this, how are we getting back at her for this?'] Jimmy: [sits on the swing next to her and is thinking like a winnie because hasn't had chance to even consider any of that with everything else that's going on] Janis: [nods like exactly 'obviously we wanted to get in trouble but that doesn't mean she gets away with being a snitch'] Jimmy: [nods back cos yeah fuck her 'what does she care about?'] Janis: [shrugs 'fuck all but controlling her calories and her minions'] Jimmy: ['Alright, how can we take the control off her?'] Janis: ['if you've still got your job, start melting butter into her coffees' 😏 but also seriously thinking 'not hard to get that lot having an argument...you reckon you could get her chatting shit on them to you? that'd work, love their #receipts, like'] Jimmy: [gets his phone out like let's see and gestures for her to come here even though they are only a swing apart anyway #blatant] Janis: [leaning over his shoulder like 👀] Jimmy: [imagine having to try and chat to Mia, good lord] Janis: [and god knows how you're gonna have to play this to get decent fallout fuel from her, she's not an idiot] Jimmy: [yeah we should say it doesn't work because realistically wouldn't and he'd be so fuming that he hasn't been able to do it] Janis: ['back to the drawing board' and back to her swing to ponder] Jimmy: [😒 af and such a frustrated sigh which is then like OUCH but trying not to show that 'What about that co-worker of mine you were proper willing to throw under the bus and reckon is so well fit?' Hey Pete hey] Janis: [instincitvely reaching to squeeze his hand like hey but then Pete gets mentioned and you casually have to drop it like a hot potato without being that obvious lol 'Does Mia reckon he's well fit enough too?' like I've not been there 'she harass him and all, like?'] Jimmy: ['You said none of 'em have got high standards, what were it, no BO and basic grasp of how to put words together?' shrugs and looks at her like yeah well I'm not trying to say it's a good idea just an idea and another sigh that you can't help because you hate that she cares about Pete and you're reading too much into what that means] Janis: ['might work, might be a bit weird to put across to him though' 'cos can you imagine, like hello, us again... 'she was pretty pissed off when we gatecrashed her sleepover, it'd be worse than community service but we could do more of that? get them on side so she looks as mental as she is, like'] Jimmy: ['Alright' because that's a much better and easier idea you have to admit boy] Janis: ['yeah?' makes a face 'cos what did you just sign yourself up for, you cannot stand these girls lmao] Jimmy: ['I just said it were, must be' because this is all so casual and fine] Janis: ['Remember when we couldn't do a school project with the bitch? Imagine what they're like with no parameters or focus...' rolls eyes like Lord help us all 'definitely gonna be Oscar-winning fakery'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby, it's what Mia's owed, keep that in your head and you'll rise to the challenge, right piece of piss'] Janis: ['she's not my muse, fuck off' but kicking him in a bants manner with your swingy feet] Jimmy: [raises an eyebrow like oh isn't she and is 😏 'I'll keep that to myself, case it fucks with your master plan, don't worry'] Janis: [stops his swing abruptly by yanking on the chain like how dare you 'arsehole' 😒] Jimmy: [OTT like OW even though he's as fine as he's been this whole time] Janis: [when you then have to stop yourself now to check like oh no, so then you're even more 😒 'don't do that!'] Jimmy: [holds his hands up like soz but his ��s genuinely are we know 'you know I didn't mean owt, be my mate again'] Janis: [standing inbetween his legs and tilting his chin up with your index finger so he's gotta look at you, as if you can work out what happened to him just by staring into his 👀 really hard] Jimmy: [some amazing eye contact as per and hitting her with a 'what?' even though you know cos you always know] Janis: ['we can be mates' like okay do you wanna be any closer though] Jimmy: ['good' likewise not moving like boy if you lean in right now I'm gonna kill you] Janis: [when there's nowhere to hide but you also cannot be the first to break, torn much] Jimmy: [at least we can have Twix or Bobby or both interrupt as he's just moving her hair out of her face/needlessly touching her yet again but before he does or says something we're not ready for because seriously about to here] Janis: [this is true, you aren't alone so you can't have a total bench moment here] Jimmy: [and you defs can't be revealing your secrets or feels rn thank you sir] Janis: [just turning so fast and acting like that never happened like oh hi Twix whilst he deals with Bobby] Jimmy: [do them big brother duties because he can't know you're hurt so you gotta fake it even more] Janis: [the joys] Jimmy: [he's gonna have a ball cleaning up and working ILY Ian you're a star] Janis: [make that punishment even more punishing, we see you] Jimmy: [I also like to imagine his phone going off throughout like you better not be with that girl, try and stop me bitch] Janis: [likewise 'cos you've done a bunk so they're like where are you, you have to go community service blah blah blah] Jimmy: [sharing a look but not a LOOK like] Janis: [actual solidarity, like y'all have no idea yet] Jimmy: [Taking a selfie with Twix and Bobby to send to him like fuck you Ian I'm doing your jobs and then letting Bobby take some cos mini me] Janis: [can't help but smiling 'cos that's cute] Jimmy: [takes her phone to take a coupley selfie so she doesn't feel left out and no other reason] Janis: ['won't tag you, like'[ Jimmy: ['tag Jamie'] Janis: [lols 'start framing him now, alright'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile] Janis: ['gonna look insane when everyone realizes you were never here the whole time but I'll cope'] Jimmy: ['gutted that Bruce Willis beat us to that plot twist' and such a pouty face] Janis: [squishing it forever like 😏] Jimmy: [leaning on her like I'M SO SAD THO] Janis: ['how can I cheer you up?'] Jimmy: [looking around like we could make a run for it and start a new life, as if he's capable of running rn or ever] Janis: ['my bags are packed, like'] Jimmy: [gestures like come on then but is looking at Bobby and Twix like] Janis: [looks at 'em as well and shrugs like yep 'easier leaving kids that are yours, init'] Jimmy: ['obvs' but now he's thinking about his mum so is actually sad not fake sad #awks] Janis: [is thinking about Drew and Edie so we're all having a lil moment here] Jimmy: [drags her over to the slide like go on, cos he'd die if he had a go so can't] Janis: [looking at Bobby then back at him like 'got your duties mixed up' but obvs has a go not gonna be a spoilsport] Jimmy: [then Bobby has a go and then Twix wants a go so you gotta go again girl] Janis: [like a babby] Jimmy: [you know he's getting all the adorable pics] Janis: [putting Twix on Bobby's lap at the top of the slide 'cos she's a pup so small] Jimmy: [he's falling in love again y'all] Janis: [put twix in a baby swing, that would be hilarious] Jimmy: [they gotta so he can be 😏 instead of 😍 because you're not kissing her rn boy I forbid it] Janis: [there's just no fake rn and we all know it] Jimmy: [he doesn't have it in him rn despite what he said] Janis: [mhmm, we won't be infiltrating the flat whites any time soon lmao] Jimmy: [gotta give that more than a hot sec but I do think at some point they should run into Asia and her sisters again for the lol because] Janis: [that would be good 'cos the mood that day lolllll] Jimmy: [they can get Bobby in on the fake niceness by bribing him or something lol] Janis: [#playdate!] Jimmy: [exactly dr phil] Janis: [god bless] Jimmy: [should probably get that kid and dog back so come and chill at his gaff again girl] Janis: [your parents will be delighted hahahaha suck it lads] Jimmy: [hooray for Ian being at work so you don't actually have to see him though] Janis: [that's a blessing] Jimmy: [make tea and food for everyone Jimothy we know that's your life] Janis: don't need to tell you how to make it Janis: handy Jimmy: You gonna give me a hand though? Jimmy: I get that there's no promise of an apron but you already look 🥇 we've covered that Janis: and run the risk of you thinking I'm not a spoilt brat? 🤔 Janis: I guess I could Janis: as you're full of compliments as currency today Jimmy: 🤞 they won't take your 🐴 away for mucking in like the common lads and lasses do, rich girl Janis: Better not Janis: love mucking out SO much Janis: [does come to help like bonjour] Jimmy: and it would muck up the stable boy fantasy before we've had a go at it 💔 Janis: [lols] Janis: that's exactly what your accent is Jimmy: [says something like a cliche stable boy would idk I'm not a horse girl] Janis: [reminds me of that classic book baby mama was in with game of thrones, though he's like gameskeeper or whatever the fuck anyway, loling harder and fake swooning] Jimmy: [when you pretend to catch her fainting, shameless touching even if it hurts you is your real ultimate kink boy] Janis: [the tea, saying something stereotypically posh in a stereotypically posh voice to break the tension that is just always there now] Jimmy: [does the posh little finger thing while drinking his and loling] Janis: [making nerd glasses with her fingers at him like 😏] Jimmy: ['Oi, be nice to me' making a face like I'm so injured excuse you] Janis: ['yeah, you gone shy or you gonna show me?' gestures like kit off boy] Jimmy: [is awks af obvs because we know it's bad but does take off his top because can't admit it #challengealwaysaccepted] Janis: [breathing in through her teeth like ouch and really gently touching them, like barely, speaking just as softly 'you should take an ice bath, it'd take down this swelling'] Jimmy: ['always trying to get me in the bath, you' but his voice is as soft as hers is 'but no pictures this time, a cute filter ain't gonna make this look goals'] Janis: ['Who could blame me' but said more as a throwaway comment just to keep this feeling normal and not like you're worried about him in any way nope, a look like obviously, who am I? before moving him, gently, out the way 'I'll finish up here, yeah'] Jimmy: [a shrug like I can do it because god forbid you actually take it easy lad] Janis: ['I can make-' (fill in the blank of whatever he's feeding Bobby, lol fish fingers or whatever we know the vibe here) 'if you don't wanna get in without me, wait, like'] Jimmy: ['Calm down, no dickhead's ready for how wife goals you are' and some fake 😍 'if you're that about trying to work your magic work out how we're gonna fill the tub with the one ice tray, what would your mate Jesus do?'] Janis: [less fake 🙄 back 'fine, I'll go buy a couple bags, prepare yourself' and chucking her shoes and whatnot back on like brb, least you don't live in the middle of nowhere] Jimmy: [irl 👍] Janis: won't let you 🥶 Jimmy: not how you wanna 💀💀💀? Jimmy: I get it, nowt massively 😎🚬 about that Janis: In terms of murder, pretty good idea but nah Janis: I've done 'em before so I'm not 🙀 Jimmy: knew you had loads of bodies in your freezer Jimmy: bit rude to make me think our 💀💀💀 pact were the first Jimmy: bit ruder that you never went through with your end all the other times Janis: just waiting to meet the one, babes Janis: 🤷 can't be killing myself for every lad that comes through Jimmy: proper heartbreaker you Jimmy: knew that an' all Janis: You won't get chance to tweet that Janis: s'fine Janis: 🙊🙉🙈 Jimmy: didn't break none of my fingers Janis: you're really gonna do it whilst I'm out running errands? Janis: ungrateful Jimmy: stop begging, I'll be a good boy Jimmy: for a bit Janis: It's you with the kink for being told what to do, apparently Janis: stop complaining Jimmy: don't sound like me that Jimmy: ray of fucking ☀ or nowt Janis: wrong chat then Janis: my bad Jimmy: sort it out, girl Janis: be more memorable, boy Jimmy: 💀💀💀 you too quick if I were Janis: exactly Janis: letdown no. ??? Jimmy: piss off Janis: Calm down Janis: can't be letdown by something that ain't real Janis: only have myself to blame then and not about that Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: ugh Jimmy: It's a hard life, Jasmine Jimmy: crack on, we don't have all day Janis: excuse me Janis: as long as you do it within the first three days, it'll still work Janis: and you're on chef duties so you shut up and concentrate Jimmy: I can't concentrate if you're gonna chat to me like that Jimmy: 😍🤤🤤😍 Janis: blame the burning on me then Janis: we all know you're just 🥉 Jimmy: Oi, I'll be a top wife Jimmy: know how to take a punch and everything Janis: Shh Janis: busy Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Meant to be helping, so let me Jimmy: why you trying to make me 😭 then? that won't help Jimmy: bloody hurt if owt Janis: Obviously not Janis: you know I'm not good at words, it's not a surprise Jimmy: duh it's the only thing we've got in common Janis: is it cheering you to make me try and fail then? Janis: 'cos have at it but you will end up 😭 by the end of t Jimmy: I just Jimmy: wanna chat to someone who ain't 6 Jimmy: or a 🐕 Janis: 2/2 Janis: take that victory Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: there you go Janis: I will fill it with ice Jimmy: and a drink of your choice Jimmy: I 👀 you, pisshead Janis: just prepping myself for having to 👀 you in the tub again Jimmy: I can get in by myself, I were 👴 but 👻 me is in his prime, remember Jimmy: near as much an athlete as you at this rate Jimmy: 💪🥇 Janis: let's not get carried away Jimmy: spoilsport Jimmy: might wanna carry you about Janis: when you're recovered Jimmy: takes weeks 🤞 I'll be long gone Janis: about as reliable as 🙏 Janis: take from that whatever you want, heathen Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: or I'll just get another girlfriend who ain't as heavy as you Janis: fuck off Janis: I'm not heavy Jimmy: depends Janis: on how weak you are? yeah Jimmy: on who we're comparing you to Jimmy: but you can piss off, I'm not weak, I'm injured Janis: Know you're used to puppies and 6 year olds, obvs Jimmy: you're not the first lass I've lugged about, soz to melt your ❄ babe Janis: 💔 Janis: I'm not anorexic or otherwise as easily deluded, I know I'm skinny Jimmy: never said you weren't Jimmy: have said before that you're a 🦒 Janis: thanks Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need anything else whilst I'm here Jimmy: You're my nurse, you tell me Janis: get you some drugs Janis: don't take 'em all at once 💀💀💀 Jimmy: What if I promise to split 'em right down the middle? Janis: I'm not dying for you today Jimmy: Baby please Janis: Nah Janis: find some tiny girlfriend who'll need half the tabs Jimmy: been there, done that Janis: plenty more midgets either side of the sea Jimmy: I don't have time to go 🎣 but tah for that Janis: Busy busy Jimmy: hardworking kink ain't nowt but a curse 🎻 Janis: don't need to tell me Janis: I'm rich Janis: the less you see your missus and fam the better 🤤 Jimmy: wouldn't dream of telling you nowt of the sort, not very #goals that Janis: so needy 😏 Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: so mean today you Janis: just today? Jimmy: not thick enough to start digging myself down into that big of an hole Jimmy: and obvs too weak any road so Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: more like it Janis: though implying I was gonna get pissy about it was a dick move that did not go unnoticed Jimmy: I said what I said Jimmy: there's nowt you don't get pissy about when that's what you wanna do Janis: Maybe you're just really fucking annoying Janis: that's more than a distinct possibility Jimmy: only maybe? Jimmy: 💕 Janis: So optimistic too Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: you need to get back on it, pisshead, that'll sort you out Janis: You like me better when I'm drunk Janis: spread that around Janis: though frankly, lil rapey is their type Jimmy: I don't like you however much you drink, not a paddy Janis: Try drinking some more yourself Janis: looking for common sense at the bottom of a bottle ain't a noble pursuit but you know Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: [a selfie of him posing with Ian's stash like oh hey] Janis: and you were gonna let me buy more Janis: who's the shit host now Jimmy: I never said you should buy owt Jimmy: you went off on your own #mission Janis: you'll be grateful later Jimmy: yeah 'cause that's how you like me, I know Janis: Don't you start #kinkassuming thank you Jimmy: no need to assume it, I've 🔓 it Jimmy: got the 🎟 Janis: 🤔 Janis: Must've been wasted Janis: as per Jimmy: Or I've got the wrong girlfriend Jimmy: might do Janis: It happens Janis: what's my name again Jimmy: what kind of fish do you wanna be? that'd help me out Jimmy: I've voted already Janis: 🦈 Jimmy: #fated Janis: if you said 🐬 I'd delete and block you Jimmy: I can't, that's Asia's Jimmy: nowt I can do when she's just SO SMART Janis: can't wait 'til some screaming kid covers her blowhole and suffocates her Jimmy: 😂 Janis: shame you ain't a starfish Janis: cut your legs off see if they grow back Jimmy: What am I then? Janis: one of those lurky bastards at the bottom of the ocean Janis: just been sitting there for 10000000s of years Jimmy: that's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me Jimmy: brb need to dry my eyes Janis: I know Janis: 💦💦 Jimmy: that what's taking you so long? Janis: yeah Janis: am I not allowed any privacy? Jimmy: You've heard 💀👑's stance on that Janis: you invited her over already? Janis: keen Jimmy: you wish, Jennifer Jimmy: can't have her around in my weakened state Janis: fuck off and stop being a baby Jimmy: you fuck off Janis: come get your stuff then Jimmy: you're alright Janis: it'll melt out here Jimmy: I get that I'm such a ☀ but outside ain't competing that hard Janis: Don't be awkward Jimmy: gotta teach the 🐕 fetch some time Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: What? Janis: I've got to go put it in your bath myself, have I Jimmy: You haven't gotta do nowt Janis: are you coming to get it? Jimmy: Am I on a ⏲? Janis: would you like me to work out how long it takes to melt a bag of ice Janis: like I said, awkward Jimmy: 🤓 Janis: I'm going to smack you upside the head with it in a second Jimmy: [comes to get it like go on then] Janis: [obviously will not lol, just shoving it at him like there you go] Jimmy: [takes it and walks off leaving her with Twix who has come like hey girl] Janis: [tryna get her in the house 'cos you were tryna leave on the low but Twix says no] Jimmy: [puts some ice in whatever bottle he's stolen off Ian and offers it to her like] Janis: ['only 'cos it'll get watered down now otherwise'] Jimmy: ['duh, that's the trick, then he dunno I've nicked it'] Janis: [🙄 @ Ian 'Amateur, I would know'] Jimmy: ['you ain't thick and northern' said over his shoulder as he's going upstairs to get in his ice bath with the stolen booze casually] Janis: [just downstairs like what am I meant to do now excuse me but definitely not going to ask] Janis: try not to go into shock or get hypothermia please Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: how long have I gotta sit here like a dickhead? Janis: do 5 minutes, if you can hack it Janis: no longer than 10 Jimmy: say when Janis: Get in and then I'll come in and supervise Janis: I'm not gonna accidentally kill you Jimmy: don't get none of this #drama with a bag of peas Jimmy: but alright Janis: it'll be more effective Janis: trust me Jimmy: if you've gotta say it, I probably shouldn't Jimmy: well suspicious Janis: it's not gonna be nice but it'll stop the damage getting worse and kickstart the healing Jimmy: 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 Janis: yeah, that's why you're getting in before I come up Janis: I'll listen for the scream, like Jimmy: did you 👂 or do you want me to get out and back in? Janis: Okay Janis: so tough, I get it Janis: [comes up and puts her hand to his forehead to check his temp] Jimmy: [imagine his little face please just like fuck me this is #fun] Janis: [puts a timer on her phone and is looking for the biggest, softest towel for when he gets out] Jimmy: [when you're the most caring ever on the low] Janis: ['I'm sorry' and taking the drink from him] Jimmy: [a look like ? because not gonna try and talk atm] Janis: [gestures like for all of it, I don't know but then doesn't wanna be that bitch so sucks it up and actually says why 'I didn't mean to call you a baby'] Jimmy: [puts a finger to his lips like shut up it's fine] Janis: [shrugs an alright and sits down on the side of the bath] Jimmy: [splashes but so the water just comes up and doesn't actually touch her because not that rude and also he's too cold to do a really big splash movement] Janis: [reaching in, whey but not, to get his feet out 'cos apparently your toes will be most sensitive so they don't need to be under, neither do his hands, just rubbing some life back into them with said towel like there we go] Jimmy: [saying a sincere thanks with his 👀 but then having to look away because who ever looks after him #emotions] Janis: ['I'll make you a cuppa when you get out'] Jimmy: you just want one, I 👀 you Janis: [takes another swig from the bottle like yes, blatantly 😏] Jimmy: 😏 Janis: then you can get in bed for a bit Janis: can't get straight in a hot shower, though you wanna Jimmy: how many of these have you done? Janis: enough Janis: plus I do sports science and all that shit so Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: will when those bruises fade, like Janis: not jealous or nothing but it is a bit rude Jimmy: don't be, nobody does 'em like you, baby Janis: might have to tweet it Janis: don't want a repeat Jimmy: [cue flirty af tweets to distract her because we can't tell her what happened] Janis: [with that we can probably get you out, to your great relief] Jimmy: [help him like the 👴 he is, girl] Janis: [get him wrapped up in that towel and in his room asap] Jimmy: [you have to snuggle him it's basically the law] Janis: [would literally be rude not to, least you can do it and be rubbing his arms like just warming you up nothing else going on nope] Jimmy: [the amount of things I have to stop him from saying or doing rn, boy no] Janis: ['do you still own a hoodie? you need to wrap up warm'] Jimmy: [a lil lol but goes to get his warmest one cos wouldn't have had that out in april so she hasn't stolen it] Janis: [control your 😍 at his cute you've got a job to do 'do you want your tea now?'] Jimmy: [when you shake your head before you can stop yourself or do your trick of not answering a q because you just don't want her to go] Janis: [just patting the bed like get back in then] Jimmy: [does] Janis: [when you have to snuggle really hard for warmth also single bed moment again] Jimmy: [god bless, what makes it even better is knowing how fuming Ian would be but it's literally your fault sir, you've done this] Janis: [you did this bitch] Jimmy: [thanks for bringing them closer together hoe] Janis: [nice try, universe] Jimmy: ['Am I gonna die if I fall asleep?' from within the snuggle] Janis: [tiniest lol 'only if you also feel a sudden urge to take your clothes off too' accidentally saucy like 😳] Jimmy: ['well now you've told me not to, I obvs do' playing it like you're such a rebel but we know why you wanna] Janis: ['then I'd have to keep you awake, it's your choice'] Jimmy: [such a LOOK] Janis: [closing his eyes like no looking 'cos literally can't handle it] Jimmy: [opening them again because 1. he's that dickhead but more importantly 2. he can give her a look like even if I fall asleep don't leave] Janis: ['you can go to sleep' in response 'but-' and not finishing that sentence] Jimmy: ['what?' because I have to every single time] Janis: [non-committal noises like idk doesn't matter forget it etc] Jimmy: ['go on' because can't and won't drop anything unless he wants to] Janis: [shrugs without smacking him in the face hopefully 'cos you are that close rn 'you don't have to'] Jimmy: [nods like alright like it's so casual but not breathing because it isn't even remotely casual bye] Janis: ['We could-' stopping to correct yourself to make it sound more fake as if we're even remotely believing that now '-I could make you feel even better, if you want'] Jimmy: ['I get it, you reckon you're a better nurse than me, eh?' throwback to that school trip moment and how hot it was 'crack on then, but nowt'll top that ice bath' such sarcasm, such wit] Janis: [smiles 'not that that's much to brag about, yeah' rolls her eyes and sighs like oh, if I must, as if she didn't suggest it, TOTALLY unprompted 'still my idea, that, so your turn for a good one again, when you're all healed, of course' doing the poor baby pout at him whilst sitting herself up and maneuvering VERY carefully so she's sat on top of him, facing away so he's looking at the back of her 'obviously, that shit about not poking bruises is true, but if we sort the rest of your muscles out, you'll feel less fucked in general' and starting a full-body-but-his-abdomen-area massage with his calves/feet and working her way up 'cos lord knows the boy is tense and she already has a decent idea of what she's doing here] Jimmy: [when that feels so good literally immediately that you have to take the piss because you can't cope 'what the fuck else are they teaching you in sports science, girl?' I can only imagine the kind of teacher they'd have for that so I'm loling] Janis: ['gutted you didn't take it now, yeah?' shaking her head like 😏 and moving up to the thighs] Jimmy: ['more inspiring than art by the looks of it, like, not that that's much to brag about either'] Janis: ['your stuff was alright' like casually bringing up that night like how much do we remember, we'll never know] Jimmy: [thank god she can't see him blushing rn 'you're a decent canvas' bringing up the paint fight because yolo and downplaying the rest of his art because thanks Ian for making him think he's not good at anything] Janis: [likewise but you are gonna have to turn 'round now 'cos you've run out of body lmao 'you too' then and now, obvs] Jimmy: [we all just dying here] Janis: [take a sec to compose yourself before turning 'cos now you're gonna be onto hands and that's like the most intimate somehow] Jimmy: [it seriously is though] Janis: [think it's 'cos you have to sit and face each other and hold hands in a sensual manner, at least he is laying down though so he could avoid the eye contact if he chose to] Jimmy: [I REFUSE to allow you to make eye contact during this sir] Janis: [awkward when it'll be shoulders after and you're gonna be so up in his face like hello, stay strong lads] Jimmy: [oh lord I'll just be screaming DON'T YOU DARE KISS the whole time] Janis: [hohaha this is just mean] Jimmy: [she'll have her work cut out though because nobody's carried this much tension in their body since teenage Tess Vickers] Janis: [since me honey] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [least you can really concentrate on doing a good job 'cos yeah wants to kiss him so bad[ Jimmy: [there's no denying what a good job she is doing though 🥇 legit] Janis: [fuck you Ian] Jimmy: [forever the mood] Janis: [though will be leaving before you get back, don't need you fucking up all this hard work tah] Jimmy: [bye felicia] Janis: [though not going anywhere really you'll have to deal] Jimmy: [we should say one of the flat whites are doing something so they can start their plan] Janis: [yeah, maybe Grace is forcing Mia or one of the others to have a party 'cos obvs she doesn't want everyone at Cali gaff really] Jimmy: [and she'd be hoping it'd stop everyone talking about Janis and their party but it sadly won't babe] Janis: [when y'all can't hang and we all know it] Jimmy: [I vote it's 💀#2 cos mad at her for bathgate tbh] Janis: [and she's probably got the most impressive house in a basic rich way so it's a plus to getting people to show] Jimmy: [agreed] Janis: [along with Mia obvs but we know the vibe, what a joy this will be lol] Jimmy: [I feel like Mia would never have parties at her house because such a daddy's girl and that's why you have minions] Jimmy: [at least you can kiss when you get there cos DYING to] Janis: [exactly, not gonna trash your own house, like, plus bet her mum is a cringe] Jimmy: [I just picture Regina's mum in mean girls basically lol] Janis: [tryna cry about your cheating mans with your daughter and her friends, no one needs that do they Mia, at least Ali would never lmao] Jimmy: [Ali's only cringe cos of how hot everyone thinks she is] Janis: [Mia probably does, secret gay] Jimmy: [oh girl] Janis: [will we ever know your damage truly lol] Jimmy: [we should probably figure it out one day so when we're famous everyone's not like wtf casually an Amber from Get Even situation on our hands] Janis: [true true, but sometimes people are in your life as a cunt and you don't consider why, esp as a teen so it's real that the characters don't know, even if we do] Jimmy: [yeah agreed the whole point is she knows everything about Grace and she knows barely anything about Mia because power moves] Janis: [keep them secrets] Jimmy: [it's that poor little rich girl stereotype and we all know it] Janis: [god bless, we have been distracted though, shall we skip as we are not letting anything happen now or?] Jimmy: [we can do because we very much know the vibe and like realistically they could show up to this function way early like even while the flat whites were all getting ready if they wanted because they have a plan to start] Janis: [oh yeah, like let us help you set up!!!!1 mega friendly so not suspect lol] Jimmy: [we all know they'd be ??? but still let them because Mia thinks she's so smart and in control] Janis: [this would be so painful and funny like try not to die holding in lols at them] Jimmy: [#bondingexperiences] Janis: [they should also be wearing more basic approved clothes, like not too wildly obvs but more girly for her, less alternative for him] Jimmy: [yasss and Grace can do her make up because she's actually good at it for all her other cringe so it would look good] Janis: [gotta get her on side too, keep your suspicions in the chat and not in front of your friends] Jimmy: [you're not touching her hair though, Jimmy would be devastated beyond belief] Janis: [we have to draw the line somewhere] Jimmy: [also Asia should have a new bf she's showing off for the lols] Janis: [what a delight, all the single flat whites crying in the club] Jimmy: [omg if he shows up early too and tries to make awkward #ladsladslads small talk with Jimothy the most unsocial egg in the world] Janis: [good idea ladeh] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: after I've done him Jimmy: can't be lasses first this once, soz Janis: getting on that well, are you? Jimmy: don't 😘 and tell, me Janis: Bullshit Janis: all you do 🗨❤📷📱 Jimmy: Alright, 'cause you untwisted my arm, I'll 🗨 Janis: You giving each other chinese burns? Janis: you wanted that peak homoerotic bullying moment Janis: so happy for you babes!!! 💖 Jimmy: I wish but I do reckon I proper LOVE him Jimmy: summer wedding 🤞 Janis: sending you colour-palettes as we speak OMG Janis: gonna have to let Asia down really gently or you'll all turn up at the altar by the sounds of 🙄🙄 Jimmy: You'll do it for me though, yeah? call it first duty as maid of honour Janis: take great pleasure when I have to stop playing dress up and nice, yeah Jimmy: let's swap, I'd be about playing dress up Janis: 😱😱😱 EWWW Janis: such a perv Jimmy: be more jealous that I'm prettier than you, babes Janis: you be more that you'd NEVER fit in this dress she's letting me borrow 😘 Jimmy: 😭😭😭😭 find me in the kitchen with your sister eating my feelings Janis: yeah you stay away from my sister creep Janis: focus on making Janis: Declan? Janis: Dave Janis: your bestie for the night/forever and ever 💖 Jimmy: fuck that, please come and rescue me Janis: alright Janis: as he's as bad as he looks Janis: just got to finish being tortured here without dropping that he was in my DMs a few ago, like Janis: when will she meet her 🤴 eh Jimmy: when she stops fucking 🐸? Jimmy: though he looks bit more like 🦎 Janis: More exotic? Janis: upgrade 🙌 Jimmy: more like he's shedding his skin about Jimmy: what did he 🗨 then? Janis: eurgh Janis: least you forgo'd the black for just one night Janis: asking me my skincare routine, obvs Janis: all adds up now Jimmy: 🙌 Jimmy: adds up that he's all over me, that's all any dickhead knows of your skincare routine Janis: You can't be taking credit for my skin now Janis: already feel like a barbie up here without you turning it Frankenstein Jimmy: Poor baby Jimmy: I can save you, just 💪 my way in, hang on Janis: Can hear the hysteria already Janis: if the octaves get any higher, only your dog gonna be able to understand 'em, like Jimmy: you're worth the risk to my one good ear 💕 Jimmy: [does bowl in and pull her away but not far because 👀🍿 like I need you to be with me soz] Janis: [Grace just like HER MAKEUP 'cos we know the lipstick is going everywhere] Jimmy: [soz not soz gals] Janis: [lowkey tryna make him leave 'cos this is girl's time 'cos that's always a thing like we all know you're just jelly and sad about your own lack of love ladies] Jimmy: [Mia like no boys and JJ just ignoring her so hard rn because only got 👀 for each other and it's not even fake] Janis: [cannot sacrifice him to this boy rn imagine the 'bants' good lord] Jimmy: [literally he could not be further from that #lad vibe he'd be so over it and tbh fuck you Mia we know you're the only one who actually cares if he stays] Janis: [tbh, just chilling on 💀#2 bed like you're abso besties rn] Jimmy: [god imagine her room, he'd feel so uncomfortable lowkey but we never showing it] Janis: [all white everything like no one spill anything christ] Jimmy: [I hope Grace drops some makeup like Sammi is always doing, my beloved clumsy babe] Janis: [you two try not to piss yourselves like] Jimmy: [when you have to turn it into a cough and that hurts you but at least it stops the lols] Janis: [asking if yous can smoke in here when you so clearly cannot lmao but an excuse for an actual break like brb, he clearly needs it] Jimmy: [run lads run] Janis: [a look when you're outside like Jesus fucking Christ before having the lols you've been holding back this whole time 'God, I actually NEED that cigarette, hurry up, like'] Jimmy: [100% shared and obvs he does hurry up and light hers because whipped and then his because likewise needed] Janis: [just discussing how pissed off Mia is already like lollollol] Jimmy: [and plotting how to piss her off more whilst getting the others on side] Janis: ['hope her birthday is soon, love to fuck that up' when you should know by rights but take no interest so do not lol] Jimmy: [checks her socials because there'd be a shit load of posts from last year and he'd be able to work out the date holds his phone up to her like] Janis: [🤔 then 😒 'nah fuck it, can't be around them that long' and 😏 on the exhale at him] Jimmy: ['And you can't do it without me' because still running with that narrative he'll be gone soon] Janis: ['I'd have time to audition replacements before then, come on'] Jimmy: [😒 that we're pretending is fake but isn't] Janis: [nudges him in the side with hers 'One and only, I remember'] Jimmy: [nudges her back like be careful with me even though she already is being] Janis: ['my delicate little baby' and cupping his cheeks instead of squashing 'em] Jimmy: [looks down at whatever outfit they've put her in 'dunno what I'm gonna call you'] Janis: ['but your list of J names is endless'] Jimmy: ['but those are for you, who the fuck is she?' gestures at the look like who would wear this but OTT because we know she looks good still really and we're not trying to slag her off] Janis: [looks down like yeah, ikr 'sadly their names don't all rhyme or begin with the same letter or something as appropriately cultish so' shrugs like who knows] Jimmy: [dramatic sigh/ exhale of smoke like what a let down] Janis: ['How many continents and virtues still up for grabs?'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [shakes head to self thinking on how many levels Grace is an inappropriate name for her 'Not Chastity, like, or Antarctica, both so not goals for the same reason'] Jimmy: ['Whatever the hottest country is, go with that one' when you're not even joking rn you just think she's that hot blatantly] Janis: [trying not to 😳 with limited success 'yeah, such a flex, could go with a vice for a name too but be a bit on the nose, I reckon'] Jimmy: 'Depends, probably don't choose gluttony or owt but' shrugs] Janis: ['Exactly, get sexier names or get out'] Jimmy: [looking over his shoulder like you can feel Mia lurking 'about time we got back in' even though that's the last thing either of them wants] Janis: [sighs not even a bit fake 'yeah' then doesn't move] Jimmy: [puts his arm around her waist like come on but doesn't move either] Janis: [puts hers around his neck 'but I just wanna be with you' and we're pretending that's fake but it's just tea] Jimmy: ['I won't leave you with 'em again' when you 100% mean that] Janis: ['Good' resting your head on his shoulder instead of moving] Jimmy: [stroking her hair nbd] Janis: [can't stay here forever lads, maybe people are actually starting to show up] Jimmy: [get back in lads and find you have a drink waiting because Mia is trying to be #fake nice too so draw the poison symbol on her arm with your fingertip and do an IRL 🤞 before downing it] Janis: [when you look for reactions with almost genuine concern she's such a snek then you down yours, cheersing at her from across the room] Jimmy: [kiss her for the romeo and juliet ref but also just cos you wanna] Janis: [we know the vibe, this could also be the party Mia bangs Pablo maybe? jussayin] Jimmy: [that's such a good idea actually because she's so mad that the squad are team jj and Asia's got a new bf and she's losing her control honey] Janis: [mhmm, that's what I thought, it's a fuck you in the bag, like] Jimmy: [I had the hilarious mental image of JJ doing whatever this era's equivalent of tiktok is with tall tammy like that's her thing™ cos Grace has youtube] Janis: [that's so funny lmao yes must] Jimmy: [hence Mia be fuming cos 💀#2 is the only one giving her the time of day rn] Janis: [truly the Lorraine of this situation] Jimmy: [and Grace is probably trying to get with someone Mia doesn't want her to because she's jealous of jj's love] Janis: [oh what a night] Jimmy: [such fun, but they should 'accidentally' fuck up the borrowed dress in some way by the end of this] Janis: [that's also an idea, plenty of ways that could happen, soz gal lol] Jimmy: [yeah they'll enjoy that and rich girl should have a heated indoor pool they can piss about with] Janis: [such a rich teen mood to jump in in your underwear, the other guests will, the flat whites just like nooooo] Jimmy: [Asia might but the rest of them would NEVER] Janis: [oh Asia, you fun loving gal] Jimmy: [get on that 🦎 bf in the pool like] Janis: [i'm loling, what other hijinks could happen] Jimmy: [I wish they could 'accidentally' push Mia in like oh soz we were playfighting and just happened to get in the way babes] Janis: [they should, 'cos then she'd also make them all go comfort her so it'd be like 1 point them but also 1 to her] Jimmy: [give jj a flat white break for a bit cos they'd all have to help her get ready all over again too] Janis: [exactly, oh how uncool of you, play it off girl, so extra] Jimmy: [if Jimmy chucked Janis in it'd be a different story, look listen and learn gal] Janis: [at least they didn't push Grace in, the actual meltdown of it all] Jimmy: [I could never, as much as she annoys me] Janis: [we all know Janis would but we're playing nice rn so no, hmm, they could commandeer her room and go through her shit lmao no shame, obvs pretending they're banging not just like 'scuse me nosy person coming through] Jimmy: [a nice throwback to school trip when they were meant to be punished but it was just fun] Janis: [exactly dr phil...bitch probably has a diary like be cliche about it] Jimmy: [take all the pics of that #goss in case you need it later, cos she'd know the most about Mia 💀 pact and all] Janis: [mhmm mhmm, you're obviously gonna find her binge stash but that's not news] Jimmy: [fatty boy gonna eat some of it though] Janis: [think Mia's helped herself lollll] Jimmy: [you're welcome for that little domestic ladies] Janis: [death pact drama, just sow all these seeds on the low] Jimmy: [just chucking her on the bed even though you're not meant to pick her up rn and tickling her/all that good messing about because you've GOTTA mess the bed up and no other reason] Janis: [we all know the show is getting put on as if people can see lowkey] Jimmy: [can't even blame them cos even if they shamelessly didn't want to, it's what they are so used to doing by now too] Janis: [we all know you do though and that ain't getting any easier lads] Jimmy: [tea] Janis: [like to think you're fresh out the pool now too 1. for max hotness 2. so her bed is soaked lol thanks] Jimmy: [100% approved] Janis: [just pondering what else can be done and said...Harry is probably here, 'cos of the Mia of it all, do we wanna do anything with that?] Jimmy: [she would 100% invite him so yeah we definitely should do something but what? hmmmm] Janis: [we could have Mia forcing a convo moment 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: [that's real because she so would] Janis: [then it's gonna be awkward between them 'cos he's gonna be mad and she'll wanna die] Jimmy: [cheers for making tomorrow's community service even more fun Mia] Janis: [just getting y'all out of that convo as fast as you can without giving Mia too much satisfaction with it, going to the garden to smoke after but being like 'I'll leave you to it'] Jimmy: [so awkward so moody] Janis: [always ending up hiding in a bathroom or spare room or some bullshit so you can have a moment] Jimmy: [at least it would be a massive house so she can] Janis: soz Jimmy: yeah I know Janis: everyone at this party is a cunt Janis: not surprising, I know Jimmy: hang on, gonna take ages for me to @ them all Janis: you gonna turn on me then Jimmy: why would I give her owt she wants? Janis: I'm not gonna dob you in to her, like Jimmy: you wanna have a scrap? Janis: Not with you Jimmy: leave it out then Janis: Alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: take your own advice yeah Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: don't need to do a passive-aggressive 👍 just shh Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: that better? Janis: 👍👍👍👍 Janis: that much better Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: if you've got nothing nice to say, don't emoji at me, dickhead Jimmy: how about you tell me how you reckoned this were gonna go and I'll fake the proper 🗨 for you Janis: Like I said, you don't need to say anything Janis: fake or otherwise Janis: I was just saying what I had to Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: Okay, come find me when you wanna or whatever Jimmy: come find me when you need owt Janis: Fine Jimmy: ✔ Janis: If I could undo it, I would Janis: I know it makes this shit needlessly more difficult Jimmy: don't worry, this is my piss easy job Janis: easier than serving them lattes? Jimmy: make it more obvious that you've never had to Janis: At least you don't have to spend this long fully focused on them at CG though Janis: is what I mean Jimmy: I ain't focused on 'em now Janis: only for as long as you can make a 🚬 last Jimmy: nah, they don't matter that much, is what I mean Jimmy: it's just bollocks Janis: yeah Janis: but we're still doing it Janis: so it must matter a bit Jimmy: the reasons I'm doing this is nowt to do with any of them Janis: I know the main reason Janis: but we don't need to be here for that Jimmy: the main reason were not making my life any harder, her dobbing us in has done that, so yeah, we do Janis: Yeah, it's payback Janis: so it is about her Janis: her getting some of her bullshit back won't unfuck what she's already done but might make us feel better about it Jimmy: it's about us, you just said it Jimmy: feeling better Janis: Alright Janis: it doesn't matter either way to me how you slice it Jimmy: if it doesn't matter, why are we 🗨 about it? Janis: I was asking how you found it easy Jimmy: Alright Janis: You didn't exactly answer but yeah Jimmy: you dunno 'cause you dunno nowt about me or what my life's like, there's your answer Janis: It's not that deep Janis: asking how partying with them could be easier than serving them isn't a crazy question Janis: if you don't want to answer, don't, it's fine Jimmy: like I said, if you'd ever done it you'd get that it's a bollocks question Janis: Well you know I haven't Jimmy: she ain't gonna treat me how she does there, she can't unless I were here to hand round the drinks Janis: she's a cunt Janis: I'm aware Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: she's incapable of not treating people like shit, no matter who you are to her Janis: she has them, her best friends, running 'round after her as much as she does you whenever she comes in Janis: that's what she is, I know that Jimmy: me an' all Janis: yeah, so no need to talk to me like I'm thick just 'cos I've never had to clean up after her Janis: known and been around the bitch much longer, I've had my fair share, don't worry Jimmy: I don't wanna talk about her, that's what I'm trying to get into your head Janis: We're at her party, we're doing this whole thing Janis: what else could we talk about Jimmy: nowt obvs Janis: right Jimmy: 🔈 Janis: 👍 loud and clear Jimmy: [come back in and get more drinks boy you can't 🚬 forever] Janis: [just hiding forever though] Jimmy: ? Janis: yes? Jimmy: I've got you a drink, where do you want it? Janis: Eh Janis: I'll come down Jimmy: leave all that enthusiasm up there, can't even handle how #extra that response were, my dear Janis: I'll be suitably gracious by the time I arrive, don't worry Jimmy: weren't about to lose any sleep Janis: sure, what's another fight at another party Janis: not counterintuitive at all Jimmy: I'm not gonna fight with you Jimmy: just come here Janis: Maybe I don't feel like not fighting Jimmy: I'm a dickhead, don't mean you've gotta be an' all Janis: you definitely don't get to own being a dickhead, tah very much Jimmy: I don't wanna fight with you, alright? Janis: [comes to get her drink in response] Jimmy: [hugs her in response because she knows that's a thing he genuinely does lately not a fake thing like kissing her or something would be] Janis: [hugs back of course] Jimmy: [gets her to dance with him because what better way to pretend that there's nobody else here just you two] Janis: ['mates?' when you'd have to whisper that in his ear and it's low-key the only reason you did it 'cos any excuse to be unreasonably close] Jimmy: [whispers back 'best mates' but it's said in such a flirty manner obvs] Janis: [😏 but 😍 on the low 'cos we can pretend they fake thanks party people, holds her pinky out like promise] Jimmy: [does promise of course and then just holding her hand doing some of the massage stuff from earlier on it so once again she knows it's real but it looks just like they being saucy and fake] Janis: ['I wish we were still in your bed' when you can just say it 'cos it sounds right but y'all don't even know] Jimmy: ['we can go back to mine whenever you're ready' because they have community service together in the AM anyway so it's believable that she would just stay because such a goals couple who are together 24 7 clearly] Janis: ['good' but your face on the low is like yeah right/I wish 'cos Ian hates you] Jimmy: [when you read her mind so you cup that adorable little face in your hands and you're like 'my dad's nowt to worry about' because you genuinely don't give a fuck but luckily it also sounds very romeo and juliet fuck our parents vibes so #goals] Janis: ['I don't care if you don't, but are you sure?' when you can just say what you mean and have it fit, this is so useful lmao] Jimmy: ['I just wanna be with you' because she literally said it earlier and meant it so I have to because #same] Janis: [soz gonna make out with you] Jimmy: [not soz because clearly so into it] Janis: [blurred lines remix] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [so glad your plan backfired, Mia] Jimmy: [I hope you and Harry both see this cos fuck y'all] Janis: [she's always watching lmao] Jimmy: [enjoy their love bitch] Janis: [the levels of get a room they are at rn has never been higher] Jimmy: [god bless, love that for you especially because as far as everyone knows you literally did get a room earlier but you were just snooping lol] Janis: [just like they insatiable, which is true but not yet lol Jimmy: [you know nobody's ever been that into any of the flat whites, sucks to suck ladies] Janis: [when parties make you sad 'cos people being 😍] Jimmy: [the realest] Janis: [you two gonna have to tone it down 'fore you alienate them totally rn] Jimmy: [I'm trying to think what else they could do to annoy Mia/win the rest over within this party setting] Janis: [hmm maybe some kind of game moment or similar vibe where they can just be really cute about each other with their answers so the rest are like awh idk] Jimmy: [yeah drinking games are always real and they could do some cute teamwork too but also pick a flat white to team up with maybe so Mia will be fuming] Janis: [basically be up for a laugh 'cos Mia is NEVER and discourages it like no, that's lame etc] Jimmy: [exactly they'd be living their best lives, except 💀#2] Jimmy: [they gonna win you over too though girl cos nothing will annoy Mia more] Janis: [gotta get her nearest and dearest, like but gonna have to play the long game with that one] Jimmy: [when he's gonna end up having fun even though he hates everyone but Janis highkey] Janis: [the mood] Jimmy: [you deserve it boy after all that bullshit with Ian and the like] Janis: [community service in the AM baby] Jimmy: [at least they're not drunk af this time so they won't have to do it really hungover] Janis: [and it's gonna lowkey be fun we know anyway even if they don't yet] Jimmy: [you're gonna love it lads] Janis: [again, they have not thought your punishment through here and I'm about it] Jimmy: [how real is that though, oh adults] Janis: [at least Grace can tell Cali she's at his and they will be suitably fuming, get the parental hate rolling on both sides] Jimmy: [yeah we gotta] Janis: [like you don't know safer than what her actual plan was, 'scuse you] Jimmy: [Yeah Grace would be happy that she's there like thank god] Janis: [least you're not dead vibes] Jimmy: [or gone forever who knows where] Janis: [like tomorrow night is anyone's guess lads] Jimmy: [just stay with him always girl we know you wanna] Janis: [obvs but how long can you fake stay with someone hmm] Jimmy: [how long can you guys share a bed and nothing happens more like lol] Janis: [exactly dr phil, can't exactly be on his sofa can you] Jimmy: [I was thinking for tonight we could cockblock them by saying Bobby and Twix are in his bed asleep when they get back cos miss him #adorable so he wakes up when they come in and Jimmy has to go sleep with him in his room because we all know if they share a bed rn we won't be able to stop something real happening even if that's only a kiss or something] Janis: [I accept that, we can always do online messages then too so] Jimmy: [soz about the levels of frustration though lads] Janis: [we're just cockblocking 'til it's silly we all know it] Jimmy: [you've brought this on yourselves, just say how you really feel or do something undeniable when you're alone] Janis: [my boo say say it you cowards] Jimmy: [I do, I'm mad which makes no sense because fake dating is my fave and that ends it junie you silly goose] Janis: [we don't/won't push it 'til it makes no sense lol, but we can move it to a place of 'we can just be fuck buddies and carry on the fake' as if that's not even more of a headfuck guys] Jimmy: [god bless, that'll be fun and games so we simply must make that more of a thing than we did before] Janis: ['cos it's a way to admit some shit, like yeah, obvs this chemistry is real but still be like, we don't LIKE each other though] Jimmy: [a very them thing to do we all know it] Janis: [see 'let's be mates' baby steps] Jimmy: [we are sneaky gals and I'm about it] Janis: [still, not tonight sweaties] Jimmy: [we could maybe have something happen at the rave/festival whichever that we've still gotta do though] Janis: [that is a good idea, and maybe they invite the flat whites to that so they have their tent near each other whatever and it's another thing Mia would HATE] Jimmy: [yaaaaas] Janis: [hohaha its a plan, you probably can leave this party now though and skip] Jimmy: [going hard because your tent is next to theirs but then it's less and less about that we 👀 you, but yeah for now you can go lads and have your night not end at all like how you want because we're rude like that] Janis: [shameless, but Imma just say night 'cos see above lol] Janis: 🛏💤 Jimmy: chuck the 🐕 out if it does your head in Janis: she's alright Janis: passed out ages ago Jimmy: bit of a lightweight Janis: just my magic touch, like Jimmy: give her a massage an' all? Jimmy: know how to make a lad feel special you 💔 Janis: 💔 Janis: nah, if you'd settle for head pats my life would be easier but here we are Jimmy: I've never said I wouldn't Jimmy: be proper goals any road, they don't want a lad, they want a pet Jimmy: 🐸 or 🦎 Janis: 😏 Janis: well I'm with PETA on this one Janis: rather it was a lad than some totally defenseless creature, like Jimmy: must be pissed if you're admitting how 💪🏆 I am Janis: Hardly Janis: but every lad they ever get their hands on at least gets a few punches in themselves Janis: if the 😭💔 is anything to go by, even if you halved it to account for dramatics Jimmy: must be 💕 then Janis: Clearly Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what were it you said, if you ain't got nowt nice to say, don't emoji at me, dickhead Janis: you wouldn't complain if it were a 💘 Jimmy: so go on Janis: 🖤😎🥇 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: try harder Janis: those are your favourites, like Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: Alright? Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: [sends her a pic of Bobby asleep all over him in this tiny bed like an adorable sos] Janis: Aww Janis: crazy night here too, obvs Jimmy: if you had socks on you'd wake up without 'em Jimmy: hardened criminal that 🐕 Janis: Sounds like a dubious cover for some #kinkunlocked behaviour tbh Janis: but I'll take your word for it Janis: even if she looks like an 😇 Jimmy: might be one of hers but I've 👀 and 🖐 your feet and you're alright, tah Janis: When you broke 'em, you mean Janis: hm Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: it were your own fault Janis: You wanna go to bed on an argument then, alright Jimmy: you know I don't Janis: yeah Janis: feel a bit rude cussing you out when I know there's a kid like 😴 on your shoulder anyway Jimmy: you can always go through my shit if you're well mardy at me Jimmy: my diary's hidden proper Janis: 😏 Janis: wouldn't even be surprised if you had a diary Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you know I can't read or write, Jenna Janis: picture book then Janis: even artier Jimmy: 🥔 prints Jimmy: get me in a northern gallery that Janis: don't be pissing about with 🥔 Janis: sacrilege Jimmy: coal then Janis: long as you keep it off your face Janis: know what you're like Jimmy: Oi Janis: I should be oing you Jimmy: we're playing nice, you agreed Janis: Don't you think I'm being nice? Jimmy: Don't make me come in there Janis: Or what Jimmy: I'll sort you out, girl Jimmy: bed time or nah Janis: yeah right Jimmy: Challenge accepted Jimmy: keep going, see if I don't Janis: You've never sorted me out before Janis: no reason to be 🙀 that tonight is any different Jimmy: [cue him going in for the flirtiest but quietest playfight they've EVER had because I have to] Janis: [what a moment bye] Jimmy: [the TENSION I cannot] Janis: [we dying boys] Jimmy: [like what are you gonna do now boy just leave like it never happened or are you gonna try and stay? I'd love to know] Janis: [lmao please tell] Jimmy: [can we let him or is that too dangerous oh the dilemma] Janis: you have slept with each other before like that but is either of you that sleepy rn hmm] Jimmy: [we know they're not tired we 👀 you] Janis: [mhmm, I'm like bitch don't you ask him to stay either] Jimmy: [I'll make him go back, we must be strong] Janis: [okay hehe] Jimmy: [unless something did happen and then it makes community service awkward oh ho] Janis: [that's an idea] Jimmy: [like if one of them freaks out somehow how they do and we've done before in other situations idk] Janis: [yeah, or is shamelessly ignoring lowkey tomorrow like that never happened, either one of them could, like] Jimmy: [yeah because y'all ain't even drunk so you can't use the don't remember excuse] Janis: [we all know you remember and there was no pretense of having a phone nearby or whatever] Jimmy: [the question is how far are we gonna let them go and who's taking the plunge] Janis: [hmm, we can save all the way for later, I think he should 'cos blatantly egging him like the whole time they're 'fighting' it's not subtext] Jimmy: [I agree with that and he's not gonna back down because the whole challenge and 'you've never sorted me out before' comment so he's clearly gotta in all the ways Harry has never] Janis: [Exactly, we know what she was saying there and so do they] Jimmy: [when he makes you feel amazing and then leaves like a sexy 👻 because the flimsy excuse of hearing someone and thinking your brother is awake again or something] Janis: [who's ignoring who tomorrow or are we both, what's the vibe of it] Jimmy: [I feel like he should ignore her because he did it so how real but how shady] Janis: [I vibe, then she can be mad and initiate the awkward convo/argument like 'scuse me] Jimmy: [yeah because she probably didn't get chance to do much to him because he was on a #mission with a point to prove so she's probably thinking it's a mmfd to be continued kind of situation like IOU boy and then he's so rude] Janis: [that's a plan, will post this one now though]

☪ five times our muses almost hold hands, and the one time they do. (MORRIS/BETTY ENJOY)

Five Times Drabbles // Selectively Accepting // @tomorrcwsnews​

Aka: Morris yanks Betty around by her wrist a lot and they end up protecting each other a lot more than either of them will ever admit

i.

She can barely see where she’s going - which, admittedly, makes everything worse since she’s only lived in Manhattan for a week or two. But she knows the way to the butcher’s, at least. Problem is, she’s carrying too many packages. Chic said he would take them when he finished his shift but the butcher was close enough to her school that Betty figured she’d lighten her brother’s load - as much as a 12-year-old girl could. But the stack of groceries in her arms makes it difficult to navigate the busy Manhattan sidewalks.

It’s all a blur. The noise of a trolley car rings in her ears as an unseen hand reaches for Betty’s wrist and yanks her backwards, away from the curb. Her groceries fly everywhere but she’s safe. Still a little dazed, she moves to gather her belongings, sparring a look up at her savior. A boy, roughly her age. He makes no move to help gather her things and perhaps Betty’s confusion looks like something more ungrateful to him.

“I saved ya from being tomorrow’s headline. ‘Girl Crushed By Trolley.’ Yer welcome, by the way.”

Betty huffs in annoyance and brushes the dirt from her skirts as she stands with the stack of groceries back in her arms. Just as precariously stacked as before. She’s mostly annoyed he didn’t give her a chance to thank him in her own time - she would’ve. He was right, she very nearly could’ve been hurt. Instead, not appreciating his attitude, the Brooklyn-born blonde peeks around her belongings to shoot the boy a sugary sweet smile. “My hero,” she coos, insincerity dripping from her words. He scoffs and turns on his heel, clearly no longer interested in her thanks. 

She misses Brooklyn.

ii.

Hiram Lodge is kind to them but Betty wonders if it’s only because of her friendship with Veronica. She had been friends with the heiress practically since moving to Manhattan and she sometimes forgets how powerful and wealthy the Lodges truly are. With Hal Cooper laid up with a leg injury he got at his construction job, Betty’s connection to the Lodges has been invaluable. She and Chic need jobs of their own and Hiram will ensure they find decent work.

He’s offering Chic a distribution job, showing him around the World’s distribution center, introducing him to Mr. Wiesel. Betty’s left to her own devices. Hiram’s already promised to introduce her to THE William Randolph Hearst, to be a secretary or maybe a columnist herself! So the blonde thumbs through a stack of papers, bound and ready to distribute. Well…if she tied them back up, what was the harm in taking just one to read for now?

She unties a bundle and moves to grab the paper on top when a warm, rough hand slams atop her own and Betty glances up. There’s…something familiar about this boy.

“And whaddya think you’re doin’, Blonde?”

…Oh god.

“Baking a cake, what does it look like I’m doing?” She’s not winning herself or Chic any favors with her sarcastic retort, but Betty swears she can hear her brother, Hiram, and Mr. Wiesel laughing in the background, so she doubts anyone else has heard her.

“It looks like you’re tryina steal from us,” he presses, hand still warm atop Betty’s but his gaze icy cold. 

“Steal a paper, are you kidding? Do I look like I can’t afford a dime for a paper?” She’s no heiress like Veronica but her family is doing okay. Or at least had been but with Betty and her brother joining their sister in the workforce, they’d be fine again soon enough.

“Then cough it up. Put ya money where ya mouth is.”

“Ah! Betty dear, I see you’ve already met one of Chic’s potential work mates!” There’s something sly in Hiram Lodge’s smile and Betty’s cheeks burn at the implication. “Chic, my boy! This young man is Morris Delancy. He and his brother Oscar run most of the day to day operations here. And Wiesel, good man, this is Miss Betty Cooper, Chic’s youngest sister and my Veronica’s best friend.”

Betty uses the distraction to slip her hand out from Morris’s hold - with her paper clutched victoriously in her grasp. She turns back to Morris, that same sweet smile in place from years before. “Thank you for the paper, Morris. It was really very sweet of you to offer.” Her smile grows smug as Hiram escorts the Coopers to the New York Journal’s offices, away from the seething Morris.

iii.

Chic doesn’t take the job at the distribution center, instead opting for a security officer position at City Hall. But Betty finds herself back at the distribution center before she knows it. She’s chasing a story, with dreams of writing something other than a vaudeville review. The trolley workers are striking and she’s trying to get a quote from the Delancys, about rumors that they were paid to harass the strikers. As per usual, there are raised voices and arguing - Betty’s never seen eye to eye with the Delancey brothers - but Morris cuts himself off when his attention is stolen by a more pressing matter.

Rough fingers curl around Betty’s wrist, tugging her into the nearest alley. His other hand clamps against her mouth when she starts to protest. Only then does the blonde hear the noises from further down the block. She tries to plead with her eyes, assuring him that she’ll stay silent. Morris seems to get the message as he lifts his hand from her mouth. Betty peers around the corner, taking in the shadows. She’s only heard whispers and rumors like he’s some sort of boogeyman but she knows what’s going on. Snyder the Spider taking in an unsuspecting victim to the Refuge.

It’s sometime later when the sounds die down and Snyder doesn’t appear to be nearing their location. Morris’s grip on her wrist is loose, calloused fingertips barely brushing against her skin. He doesn’t protest when she pulls her hand out of his hold entirely. 

“Um…Thanks. For that,” she murmurs, gaze flickering back to the street just in case Snyder was about to show up again.

Morris nods and it’s the most civilly they’ve spoken since they’ve met. “Yeah, well. Shoulda been home anyway, Blondie. Next time, I might not be here t’ save ya.” 

Maybe it’s because she’s seen someone far scarier tonight, but there’s less malice in his voice than usual.

iv.

The newsies are striking and it’s Betty’s chance to get a real story published!

When the newsies successfully stop scabs from delivering the papers in their places, Morris and Oscar try and muscle them all out. Betty has no problems going toe to toe with them. She doesn’t mind being the thorn in their side if it gets her the story - especially not when they treat other kids like crap. They don’t really hit the girls back, just sort of cart them off to the side, but Betty contents herself to being a distraction, for some of the other boys to get somewhere safe.

Then the bulls arrive. And relief lasts for only a second before a nightstick swings back and strikes Romeo’s face. And then chaos returns, a hundredfold. 

The next time Morris scoops Betty up, he doesn’t try to carry her to the circulation gate. He moves to an alley, a side street. A way out. And when he sets her down and Betty tries to rush past him, he stands his ground. 

“For a smart girl, you’re really fuckin’ dumb. It’s suicide, goin’ back there!” His voice is loud but not louder than the heartbeat thumping in Betty’s ears.

“They need me! Not everyone’s a selfish prick like you!” She struggles, hands pressed against his chest, knees lifting but he stands strong, even when she can tell her blows are substantial.

One of Morris’s hands lifts - not to push Betty back, but to hold her in place. His hand around her wrist causes her to freeze. She’s confused and angry and the battle rages on behind them and she just wants to help, hates hearing the way the newsies are crying out, she needs to help!

“Cooper.” 

It’s the first time Betty can ever remember Morris calling her by name. And there’s something urgent, almost pleading in his voice. “It’s gonna get ugly. You don’t wanna go back there. Use that big ol’ brain o’ yours and do the smart thing.”

Oscar approaches, corralling Katherine and Veronica - but he appears less like he’s shoving them and more like he’s guiding them. Veronica, with one hand twined in Katherine’s, reaches for Betty’s. 

They’ll regroup. They’ll find the newsies who’ve already escaped. Snyder and Pulitzer may have won a battle but they haven’t won the war. Katherine and Betty have their articles to finish, after all.

Morris lets go of her wrist, his face unreadable, and he watches for a moment as the girls - hands clutching each other’s desperately - flee into the night. Betty swears his eyes haunt her dreams for the following nights as much as the fight does.

v.

“Honestly Delancy, what would you ever do without me?”

“Stop havin’ so many damn headaches a day, pro’ly.”

She chuckles but doesn’t stop her work, wrapping cloth around bruised and bleeding knuckles. She hasn’t asked what Morris was doing before she found him, resting in an alley on her route home from the Journal’s offices. She’s learned the hard way she doesn’t always want to know the nitty gritty details of Morris’s life. Not like he’ll tell her anyway. They may have formed some sort of tentative truce now that the strike’s over but she knows the Delancey brothers don’t trust a nosy reporter as far as they can throw her. (And Betty wagers they could probably throw her a fair distance.)

But she can’t leave him like this, struggling to bind his injuries with his non-dominant hand. So she takes his wounded hand and rests it in her lap, her fingers working to tie her handkerchief as a makeshift bandage. The banter is short-lived for once and a silence falls over the pair as the blonde continues her work. Once completed, Betty pats his palm gingerly with her fingertips, as if to punctuate the end of her work. “There. That should hold for the night, at least.”

He curls his fingers experimentally but doesn’t remove his hand from her lap. Betty pretends not to notice.

“…Why?” Morris finally speaks up, gaze aimed at his bound hand and ignoring the blonde beside him. His question’s so quiet Betty barely hears it. 

She too is silent for a long moment, only shrugging in reply at first. “I don’t hate you, you know. You and Oscar seem to think I do but…I don’t.”

“Coulda fooled me,” he grumbles and Betty finds herself chuckling softly.

“I mean, you’re an absolute prick, don’t get me wrong. But I’m not gonna just let you bleed out on the street. No one deserves that.” He falls silent and Betty risks a glance in his direction. Something she can’t quite name worms its way into her chest and she hates it but she doesn’t ignore it. Instead, she pats his palm once more before standing up. “…G’night, Morris.”

She almost swears she hears a “G’night, Cooper” as she returns on her path home.

vi. 

She really hates having to do this. But the headlines had all been talking about the borough-wide streetlight repairs being done and she knows it’ll be dark on her walk home tonight. Chic’s home with the flu, meaning he can’t pick her up from the Journal’s offices. She doesn’t want to bother her father - he’s still easing back into work after his leg had healed and walking across town and back wouldn’t be good for him.

She leaves the offices while it’s still light and tries to rush to the World’s distribution center. She figures there still oughta be some of the newsies around getting their pay. Maybe she can ask one of them to escort her home. But when she arrives, all she sees is Morris, stacking empty crates. None of her friends, not even Oscar or Wiesel, though Betty figures they’re inside.

Shit. She glances at the horizon, watches the sky turn dark. She could probably make it to the Tribune to see if Darcy was still there, but…

“Hey! Beat it, Blondie. Ya ain’t got nothin’ better t’ do than hang out around here? All ya newsie pals ‘re gone.”

…Great. So much for getting away without dealing with Morris.

Betty sighs, blowing a loose strand of hair out of her face. “Yeah, I’ve noticed. Don’t worry about it, okay? I was just trying to see if Jack or Davey or someone was still around and could walk me home. You know, since the lights are down and all?” Her gaze refocuses on the sky, trying to calculate how dark it would be by the time she walked somewhere else to find an escort home. “But forget it, I’ll go back to the Journal and-”

When Betty turns back around, words died in her throat at the sight of Morris’s outstretched hand and expectant stare. “…Are you serious?” she questions, skepticism all but dripping from her tone.

“D’ya see anyone else around here? C’mon Cooper, the sooner I get ya home, the sooner I can go t’ bed. You ain’t the only one who had a long da-”

It’s Morris’s turn to go speechless when Betty takes his hand, fingers lacing between his. Her smile is a little too smug to be aimed at someone doing her a favor. But Morris deserves it. He doesn’t really retaliate, only scoffing. He tugs on her hand, urging her to walk. And she does, falling in step beside the boy. 

It’s dark enough to mask any heat that dusts Betty’s cheeks, allowing her to focus on the warmth of Morris’s hand in hers.

Can we talk about the time that Bones had to leave his very important medical conference early and drive four and a half hours away to bail Jim and Joanna out of the security office at Disneyland because they had done something so egregious that the Disneyland police officer sputtered on the phone that this was a one time deal only, no take backs, you come get ‘em and we won’t arrest ‘em. 

He’s livid. Four and a half hours of driving to stew and wish that Jim Kirk had never been born. Four and a half hours to think of the missed networking (even though he hated it, he never passed up an opportunity to commiserate with other CMOs past and present) and one keynote he was supposed to give that he was actually looking forward to. Four. and. a. half. hours. to wonder what exactly Jim and Jo did and how his baby girl was probably so embarrassed and worried and it was all Jim’s fault. 

His blood pressure is probably nearing worrisome by the time he books it past strollers and toddlers holding epic tantrums and fighting parents and a very bored contingent of Vulcans and makes it to the security office, expecting mayhem and Jim and Jo at phaser point but---

They’re laughing. 

Laughing. 

“The hell?” He manages between deep gulps of air. 

“Daddy!” His eleven-year-old bursts out from a circle of security guards in various stages of crying laughing. She jumps into his arms, freckled face a flushed pink from giggling.

“What’s going on?” He manages to get out, searching the room for Jim and finds him, relaxed against one of the benches, grinning like the damn fool he is. 

“Bones!” Jim hops up and ambles over, as if he were in the mess on the ship, happy as a pig in a pile of shit. 

“Oh, Dr. McCoy!” The familiar voice of the once sputtering guard pushes past the other security guards as they all sober up. “Thanks for coming. Sorry about before.”

Bones eyes make a circuit between the now composed security officers and Jim and then Jo. 

They all speak at once, each trying to cut in before the other, the Security Officer--Barnes his nametag reads--finally whistles. 

“Dr. McCoy needs an explanation. Ms. McCoy, why don’t you go get your father some Dole Whip, he looks like he needs something to do or he might punch the Captain.”

A half hour later, Bones is settled on the bench with his dole whip, smushed between Jo and Jim who now look more sheepish than mirthful. 

“Sorry for worrying you, daddy.” Jo says as she tugs on her bottom lip with a two bright blue fingernails. 

His anger, which has gone from bright flame to wispy smoke, fizzles out. “I shoulda never thought leaving you alone was a good idea. What if I couldn’t get here? What if something was really wrong?”

Jim’s shoulders slump. “I’m sorry, Bones. You’re right. I’ll, ah, save our adventures for when you can be around to supervise.”

Bones snorts. “Yeah, no. That’s not what I meant. Just...what happened? Or do I not want to know?”

Jo’s giggle ends in a snort. Jim presses his lips together so hard. 

Finally, Jo bites her lip and then takes a deep breath. “Better if we show you.”

Spread across the table like a deck of playing cards before a magic trick, are blown up photos from Space Mountain. Each has caught Jim in various stages of spewing his guts up. 

“This is why I drove four hours?” Bones huffs. 

“Well...you see.”

“Its procedure to check a sick adult for intoxication.” Barnes said. 

“And I got defensive.” Jim said. “It was the corndog.”

“Yeah, dad! He didn’t drink at all and really, it was all my fault, if I hadn’t threatened Office Barnes.”

“You what?”

“Well, I thought that Jim was going to get in trouble and I might have overracted a little.”

“She’s a fireball, Bones. I love it.”

Barnes shakes his head. “Never seen a kid more protective of her dad.”

“Oh.” Jim said. “No--”

“We’re not together--” Bones begins.

“They’re too stupid to admit they’re totally  in love, the dorks.” Jo provides.

Jim’s eyebrows shoot into his forehead and now Bones is the one sputtering and Barnes is throwing his head back in a belly laugh that he needs to lean against the table with photos of Jim spewing. 

“Excuse me?” Bones manages. 

“I didn’t want Officer Barnes to sell the photos to some tabloid and then you to get annoyed like you did about last week and then you avoid Jim again.”

“I wasn’t avoiding, Jim!” Bones says. 

“You were to! You saw the tabloid in the grocery store and it said you and Jim were secretly married and you freaked out!” Jo rubs her palms into her eyes. “I hate when you get angry at him for something stupid.”

“Oh, Jo Jo.” Jim pulls her closer to his side and squeezes. “You dad wasn’t angry at me. He was angry for me.”

Bones can’t speak. Because he was angry. He was angry because his best friend would never ever think of him like that. His best friend would never settle down with him, would never do anything as ordinary as be with one person, would never think of Bones that way. Jim was the world and Bones was just a lucky space rock that got to orbit him. 

“Why don’t you just say what you think?” Jo glares at her father. 

“Okay,” Bones rasps.

He notices that the security officers have slowly retreated, leaving the three of them to the silence filled only by the  whirring air condition that’s probably older than the park itself. 

“Bones, I’m sorry-”

“I’m sorry.” Bones interrupts. “I should have said something earlier. Jo’s right. I should say what I think.”

Bones can see Jim fidget, reminding him of hours on the bridge just watching his Captain in motion, not letting himself think about reaching out to steady him. 

“I do love you. Always have. Tried to stop but I didn’t want to.” He shakes his head, feeling his lips form the dopey smile of an in love teenager. 

Before Jim can speak, Jo throws up her hands as she moves out of the security office to give them privacy. “Lordy, if I knew throw up was all it took I would have asked for flying lessons last Christmas.”

Jim winks at her and then grabs at Bones, pulling him closer before either can change their minds. 

“You better have brushed your teeth, James T. Kirk or I swear to God I will...” Bones doesn’t get a chance to finish or worry about anything much after that. 

This might be ridiculous coming from me, a white woman, but dear god I hate the ill-informed performative “political correctness” of some people.

By this I mean... I had once suggested kimchi as a simple recipe to make, with lots of varieties possible. The response I got was something along the lines of “I don’t think kimchi can be anything but cabbage, but thanks :)” and it was so... fucking patronizing... Like, do a fucking google search for “kimchi recipes” before off-handedly accusing someone of being casually racist? I’m gonna trust my born-and-raised-in-South-Korea-MIL more than Woke Whitey on the internet, thanks. (eta:) And the icing on that cake being that the person tagged someone asking them to clarify. Someone Asian, but not Korean, not even close. And they said ‘I don’t know much about it but you’re probably right, it’s better not to call it kimchi if it might not be.’ And they’re listened to because they’re “Asian” but they aren’t fucking Korean and admitted to not knowing and still they were listened to and now this is treated by gospel by whoever fucking read that thread.(/eta)

Because, and this is a thing about it that really pisses me off,  these people become the spokesmen of what is or isn’t racist. Using a fairly recent and public incident as an example, a museum in Boston(?) had a kimono exhibit, with Japanese immigrants very happily providing the service of helping people try on kimono, teaching about how to wear it and everything. And there was an uproar about it being appropriation. Even though they were to be taught and shown things in a respectful way by natives, it was appropriation? How...? All the Japanese people in the comments were confused, hell, I remember seeing several Japanese fanartists I follow on twitter posting confusion about the debacle. But man, white people love to tell others to be offended about shit...

Meanwhile, my husband was president of his college’s Asian American Club(? can’t remember it’s exact title) would bring his mother’s hanbok to their cultural festival for people to try on. Because that’s how you share and foster appreciation for a culture. It’s not appropriation.

But white people have said that wearing foreign clothing is appropriation and you shouldn’t let us do that, even respectfully at the hands and guidance of paid and happy natives of it. Doesn’t that seem a bit odd?

My husband thinks it’s funny that he’s supposed to be offended by Oriental. He’s like “Oh, it’s only a rug now? Did they send that in the Good Asian Monthly catalog and I missed it or something?” He’s only ever been told it’s offensive by white people. Meanwhile, he thinks “I’d rather you just say ‘Oriental’ than guess and get it wrong”

And, just...

jfc, don’t try if you aren’t even going to do minor due diligence, because people listen to white people on what is or isn’t offensive more than the person it’s meant to offend, so just, just, shut up if you don’t know, please

(and I don’t mean this to be like ‘instead you should listen to me about what is or isn’t racist!’ either. and i cite my husband here to mean more of a ‘listen to people actually of the culture, face to face, rather than a stranger on the internet who could be anyone’. you shouldn’t listen to me about this shit, i could be lying too, you can’t see me to verify any of this. you should research things and ask people in person yourself. 

but dear god just don’t fucking pretend you’re so culturally sensitive if you won’t even take 2 fucking seconds to do a google search before responding to someone on the internet. there’s not a time limit. do your due diligence. ...this paragraph shoulda been the entirety of the rant, but i typed all this, so you’re getting it all, hahhh)

((eta, because i realize it can easily be taken wrong: when i say ‘ask people’ i don’t mean ‘ask an acquaintance what they think’ - don’t be invasive. make sure it’s welcome. either someone who knows you well enough to know the place it’s coming from, who you can say ‘i’m curious and don’t have a lot of perspective, if you’d be willing to talk about xyz subject’ or if it’s in a position where it’s expressly invited - like culture events where things are being actively shared by the people, etc. just... be courteous, not selfish. your curiosity doesn’t trump someone’s privacy, ever, and let’s just be clear that i don’t encourage invading it. don’t ask someone at work, ever, even if you guys are the best of friends outside of work. and so on.

alsoalso: I said a lot that ‘white people’ tend to be the people saying what you should or shouldn’t be offended by so damn often, but I should clarify that I’m specifically referring to people who are talking about these things in a text only format, like me, here and now, with this. and then you go look, and it’s a white person. and no, not a ‘you can’t tell’ situation. i mean you go take a quick glance to get an idea on what kind of perspective they have, and it’s lots of posts about extremely violent racism, and comments like ‘i hate that i’m white ):’ and they’re an adult to boot. but often they’re young, an adult, but one who has grown up with the internet being prolific.

and american. let’s also be clear on that, that everything i’ve said is very american-centric, right down to even the types of people i see on the internet engaging in this -- actually some british people too, but mostly american from what I have personally observed. this isn’t some well researched crap, this is a venting of a grievance of stuff i’ve observed cause goddamn i’ve been hearing an awful lot of crap of white people who are being fucking selfish and just want to be able to say “see, I care more than you do” when they’re actually displaying their ignorance with the pride of a peacock. let me get you a mirror cause you have mange))

ADAM

The machine is broken... and so is he.

A short story about robots, and what gets left behind. (2660 words)

“ADM-119, full diagnostics.”

“Of course,” the machine said with a smirk that should not have been, the left side of its face remaining resolutely neutral even as it tried to smile. When the right eyelid slid shut, the left only drooped, leaving a crescent of white and gleaming mahogany brown.

Partial left side paralysis, Sal thought, wheeling his chair around the machine in a rough, jerky circle. Looks like it continues down into the neck, from the way its head tilts. Could be a defective nerve-line. Sal couldn’t remember if the ADM-Models had old-fashioned central trunks or the newer radial systems, and Peterson Robotics had gone out of business so long ago even the International Technical Archive didn’t have copies of the schematics. All he had to go on was a quick-start guide he’d found on a hobbyist’s forum for old first-gen ‘droids, and that didn’t contain anything more useful than reset instructions and a handful of general error codes.

The wheel of his chair scraped against the battered wall and he cursed as another dusting of plaster scattered across the faux hardwood. He was in the middle of an awkward three-point turn when the ‘droid chimed, a merry little tune somewhere between a midi file and birdsong.

“ADM-119!” Sal called over his shoulder, muttering a curse as he fumbled at the controls and slammed the footrest of the chair into the wall. Good thing I don’t have fucking feet. “Gimme audio.”

“Of course.” The machine tried to smile again, and began to read out the codes, long alphanumeric sequences that might have been helpful as hell if Sal could interpret anything beyond the first five characters. E-5512 meant the ‘droid couldn’t sense heat for shit; M-1N54 meant unresponsive mechanics (no surprise there); FC-19C was some kind of module crash, probably the gastronomic subroutines, if his mother’s constant complaints about horseradish on her pasta were any indication.

Sal had told her to get rid of the busted old junker half a hundred times. He’d even bought her a replacement, a shiny new CASSIDY model she’d never even taken out of the packaging, just stowed under the porch until a stray dog came running out with a mouth full of sparking meta-fiber.

“Adam’s family,” she’d wailed at him. “You don’t throw away family!”

He’d bit his tongue at that one, so hard he tasted blood.

“Shall I attempt repairs?” the machine asked when it finished reading out the codes. Sal had his chair turned around by then, but he was still to the thing’s left, and when it turned to look at him its head twisted queerly to the side, like some kind of shiny plastic owl.

“Who fuckin’ knows, maybe eighth time’s the charm,” Sal muttered, jerking his chair back in front of it. What I need is a system restore drive, he thought. Too bad they stopped making them during the fucking Almasi administration. “You know what, fine. Go ahead. Can’t fuckin’ hurt, can it?”

The machine gave him another aborted attempt at a smile and knelt, joints creaking. One and a half of its eyes slid shut. It should have remained upright, but instead it slumped to the side like something dead, arms and legs at strange angles.

Sal stared through it for a while, then forced himself to look down at his wrist. The display on his medi-bracelet read 3:02 PM. I need a fucking drink, he thought, jabbing at the controls of his chair with a hand beginning to shake.

Rickard the Wonder Aide wouldn’t let him buy anything harder than individual cans of weak, watery Jefferson Red, and even that he had to ration, lest the mighty eye of the disapproving motherland fall upon him. He only had one left, shoved into the back of the fridge behind the latest load of lab-grown simulacra that Rickard called food. Reaching in as far as he could, his fingertips just barely brushed the cool bio-plastic rim.

“God damn it,” he muttered, reaching for the controls of his chair — but no, if he moved forward any farther, the footrest might get caught in the fucking freezer handle again. Just a couple more inches, he thought, undoing the buckle around his waist.

Some time later, the machine chimed, calling out in its lyrical, buzzy voice. Sal hissed a curse and fumbled desperately at the blood-slick brake.

“Hello,” the machine said pleasantly as it appeared in the archway, a shadow with a trio of blinking stars in the center of its chest. “You appear to be in distress. May I be of assistance?”

“Fuck off,” Sal spat through gritted teeth, pawing at the handle. “I don’t need your fucking help.”

“Of course,” the machine replied, with what might have been a head-bow or might have been a curious tilt or might have been a misfiring component making its head rock on its shoulders like the stupid bobble-heads Jason used to collect. Sal forced himself to take a breath, grabbed hold of the brake as tight as he could, and pushed.

The slick plastic slid out from beneath his hand. The chair rolled backwards. He fell forward hard, chin cracking against the linoleum.

“Fuck,” he shouted through his teeth. The heel of his hand pounded against the wheel of the chair, each blow pushing it further backward. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“May I be of assistance?” the android asked.

“No!” Sal made a fist, fingertips digging into the gash the cheap wire fridge shelf had left in his palm as he tried to catch himself. “I got myself into this, I can get myself the fuck out. Just fucking… Don’t touch me.”

“Of course,” the machine said with another wobble.

The effort of dragging himself forward by the only limb he still had left left him sucking in air with ragged, heaving breaths. His vision blurred. The LEDs in the machine’s chest blinked like eyes, like monitors, measuring his progress with the same cold clinical efficiency as the VA butchers. The handle within reach, he shifted as much of his weight as he could stand onto the aching stump of his right arm and tried to push it down with the left.

It started to roll, then stopped.

The shadow of the machine stood over him, hand resting lightly on the back of his chair. A curse came to his lips. He bit it back, and grabbed for the brake. This time, the lever went down.

He half expected the machine to come over, scoop him up, plop him back into his seat as if he were a child, the way the VA staff did every time he fell. It didn’t. It watched him, and when he finally managed to pull his torso up onto the padded, sweat-stained faux-leather, it gave him one of its strange lopsided smirks.

“Fuck off,” Sal mumbled. “Stupid… Stupid broken piece of shit. Shoulda thrown m… thrown you out years ago.”

The machine smiled, but did not reply.

 — — —

  “Well,” Sal sighed, “that module is irretrievably fucked.”

He had asked for pancakes. The things before him matched the definition on the whole, but in their specifics, they rather missed the mark. Black bits of liquorice studded the golden-brown pancake fluff, barbecue sauce glistened in artful designs across the top, and the whole plate smelled strongly of garlic.

“If you would like me to attempt a re-install—”

“Don’t bother,” Sal said, wincing at the pain in his bandaged palm as he pulled back from the table. “Servers have been down for decades.”

I need that fucking system restore drive, he thought as he wheeled back into the living room. He’d been looking for days, had three different bots and two RS feeds pinging him at any mention, but so far all he had were component sales: an arm here, a knee-joint there, the occasional hip. All the processors and memory banks had been bricked, discarded, or simply stopped working years ago.

He pulled in behind his desk. The machine had moved it farther from the wall, giving him enough room to maneuver without cutting new gouges in the sheet rock. He hadn’t asked it to — hadn’t asked it to do much of anything, aside from diagnostics and tests — but the ADM models had been designed as home care specialists, given a little more leeway in their decision-making than other first-gen ‘droids in order to compensate for a generation of crotchety Pre-Revolution holdouts too proud to ask a glorified appliance for help. Like me, Sal thought with a huff, though he had been born twenty years too late for that particular moniker.

He’d wanted to get into the bleeding edge of AI research — sentience sims, genuine emotion, evolutionary robotics — but by the time he graduated, the Sanderson/Wodehouse bill had passed and that ship had sailed into the less-regulated third-world horizon. The army had still been working on artificial analytics and he’d figured it was the next best thing.

His medi-alert bracelet buzzed and flashed a little red pill. Sal frowned, blinking away the afterimages in his head, and thumbed at the controls. His meds were—

On the desk.

The four bottles were half a foot away, the proper dosages measured out and placed neatly on the caps. Beside them were a glass of water and a cup of pudding with a spoon on top.

“Huh,” Sal said. Against the far wall, ADM stood, one side of its mouth drawn up in that stupid, somehow knowing smirk. His eyes on the machine, Sal scooped up the pills, tossed them in his mouth, and swallowed.

 — — —

  For the last three years, Sal’s prosthetic arm had sat beneath his bed, slowly gathering dust. The VA would only pay for the cheapest model, and grit and dust and bits of bullshit were always getting into the mechanics, gumming it up and turning the robotic limb into little more than an extremely complicated hook. It needed to be cleaned every day to be usable, half the mechanism disassembled in order to replace the lubricant, and he couldn’t do it one-handed. Rickard the Wonder Aide had done it for a while, but he didn’t come in person anymore. No-one did.

ADM cradled the arm in his lap like an infant. The stiff fingers of his left hand slowed him down, but only to the point where Sal could follow the motions, one flowing into the next like ink on waves.

Sal tapped his fingers against the control panel of his chair, thinking. His mother had called — she wanted her Adam back, was getting impatient. Rickard wanted to know why his food budget had suddenly tripled. Two of his freelance programming gigs were overdue, a third on the cusp.

He’d found a system restore drive.

The listing had been up for six and a half years. He’d assumed it was inactive, but the poster had responded to his query letter eight hours ago. The drive had been sitting in their garage for almost two decades, but they’d plugged it in to an old Peterson desktop they had lying around and swore it worked. They could have it delivered by Monday.

He’d left the tab open. The thin line of the cursor blinked in the periphery of his vision, waiting for him to respond.

He had no idea what he wanted to say.

With a faint pop, ADM disengaged the elbow joint and began to wipe away the crust of blackened lubricant with a cloth. The paralysis on the left side of his mouth made the right look quirked up, as if he were pleased with his work.

Stupid pile of junk, Sal forced himself to think. For the first time in years, the words felt wrong.

His parents had insisted on meeting him at the airport, the day he came home. Jason had been there too. Sal would never have let him come if he’d known, but they never told him. They wanted it to be a surprise.

There had been calls. Emails. Physical paper correspondence, for fuck’s sake. They knew. They’d been warned. Somehow, it never got through to any of them that ‘lost’ meant lost.

Jason had been holding a sign with Sal’s name on it in rainbow letters, surrounded with hearts and dinosaur stickers. It had blocked his view as Sal came over the crest of the escalator, and when Sal’s mother screamed, he’d looked at her first, giving Sal enough time to find their faces in the crowd. Giving him enough time to witness Jason’s expression shift from confusion to horror to disgust.

By the time Sal reached ground level, Jason was gone, the sign trampled under half a hundred feet. He was supposed to drive them all home, so they waited; one hour, two, a third. Sal’s mother couldn’t look at him. His father couldn’t do anything but. They went out to look for Jason’s car, but that was gone too, which meant a taxi, which meant another hour and a half stranded in the middle of the surging, staring crowd while they waited for one large enough for three people and a chair. Even then, it took another fifteen agonizing minutes for his father to beat the chair into submission. It had never rolled right after that.

Rickard talked a lot about vicarious traumatization, emotional exhaustion, survivor’s guilt. Sal had shouted at him, cursed and raged, and when he was done Rickard got up and left without a word. He’d never come back, any more than Jason had.

Once the joint was clean, ADM applied the new lubricant in one graceful swirl, then fit the pieces back together. The elbow moved smoothly now, with none of the crackling stickiness it had had before. The android’s head wobbled on its shoulders in a motion that might have been a nod.

Someone programed that, Sal thought as he watched the android reassemble the arm. Someone designed it to smile. The thought felt strange, somehow. No-one had ever designed it to smirk, but when it held up the completed arm it did, with a wryness that had never been planned, never been intended, that never would have been at all if not for a broken nerve.

Swallowing, Sal held out the stump of his arm. The android strapped the prosthetic in place. The socket didn’t fit quite right anymore, but it was close enough for the electrodes to meet. He’d forgotten which muscle moved what, and for a moment the arm twitched and spasmed and bile rose in his throat, tasting of smells he couldn’t forget and sensations he didn’t want to remember. Then ADM touched his shoulder, and the knots in his stomach went away.

A few minutes later, he was making a fist, curling in his fingers one by one, making rude gestures. He huffed, and then for the first time in years he laughed, a strange hiccup that became a sob halfway up his throat.

“You appear to be in distress,” ADM said softly. “May I assist you?”

Sal nodded.

The android undid the straps. Scooped Sal up in his arms, carried him through the strips of old sheet that served as his bedroom door. Lay him down in the nest of rumpled blankets that was his bed. The ‘droid wrapped the softest around him, so tightly he could barely move, then padded off to fetch a glass, a bottle of water, and, for some reason, an entire miniature watermelon.

This time, when Sal laughed, it came out all the way.

 — — —

  Sent 8:46 16/10/2067 by [email protected]

 yo

thanks for the reply. unfortunately im no longer interested in the drive. the problem sort of fixed itself.

gl selling it tho

sal

 ——————

 Sent 9:16 17/10/2067 by [email protected]

 No Problem Man

BTW I Have Other Old Peterson Tech If Your Interested. Even Got An ADAM Model. Mostly Intact — Just Needs A New Power Source. Could Salvage From Yours For Complete Unit?

 ——————

 Sent 8:46 16/10/2067 by [email protected]

 thanks man, but na

i'm good

Aaa im so full of poke hype and lovv! <3

I feel like maybe doodling my kid self, for some reason?? Like embrace the nostalg and also show some love to that awkward lil kid who didnt really know who they were yet. Its interesting how much i've changed over the years!

Hell i might even draw personas of myself dressed as all the protags from all the different generations? But they'd be mostly the same for like the first 20 years, just me getting real tall and fat lol. I had almost floor length hair for SO LONG it felt really freeing to chop it all off and i never went back! I think i kept it cos it was loke.. Camoflage? The only 'girly' thing i had so i could pretend to myself that i was straight and cis. Plus a literal shield cos i could be 90% hair and just one eye poking out XD So yeah it'd be funny looking at me over time, its just this girly-looking kid getting increasingly more macho outfits and increasingly more girly hair and increasingly more socially anxious, until within the space of 18-25 i suddenly have this giant self discovery freedom explosion and change completely! Its funny how if anything i look less masculine now? Like im way more comfortable with the fact that i'm someone in between genders, and its not a binary of having to be something i'm not just to escape some other thing i'm not. Its also kinda funny how these gender roles felt so restrictive when i was crammed into one of them, yet dressing with both at once seems just as freeing as having neither. Tho still no matter how i dress i always get misgendered one way or another since non-binary acceptance is still far from the norm. But still im so much more me than i've ever been before, and its great to look back so i can realize how far i've come!

So lol maybe i'll just draw old kid me playing "her" first pokemon game, and leave out the next decade and a half of the same thing but taller. And i could just draw current me in a few different attempts at a pokemon outfit? Like when i did my sprite edits i just did me in my usual outfit i wear IRL, now im thinking maybe i shoulda designed a wish fullfillment ideal gym leader costume or something? Tho im too lazy to start the sprite edit project all over again with this new design lol. Oh and maybe also draw my pokemon go outfit? I dont wear it all the time but i had a fun lil look i wore the other day that i ended up laughing at cos i accidentalky wore all blue even tho i picked Team Valor! Now i wanna wear it all the time lol. Oo and maybe cosplay as my fave characters? If i cant afford to do it IRL i can at least draw it!

So yeh in summary somehow i feel really confident in my identity today and i wanna draw pics of me. Mild ego time!!! Or rather just wishing i could fly back in time and motivate my kid self by showing them that they woukd actually have the freedom to be themself some day. I dont even really think of it as "I used to be a girl" but just that i was always feeling this way and didnt know the words for it, or that other people felt the same way and it wasnt an 'abomination against god'. And for some reason playing a gane with selectable genders really helped me let out some of my feelings during that confused childhood of absolute repression. "I just pick a random gender each time cos it doesnt really matter right? Doesnt everyone just pick the one with the outfit they'd rather wear?" I absolutely knew that was a lame excuse and none of these other kids actually felt that way, but at least it kept people from suspecting i had queer reasons for my queer actions. In a time where i didnt even know what queer meant except that it was Somehow Bad. Gah, this is why sex education needs to be inclusive! Even when i was old enough to learn about straight sex i apparantly wasnt old enough to learn about gay and trans people! Let alone asexuality lol... Man it was a whole nother mess to be dealing with an anomolous lack of sexual attraction at the same time as i was repressing something everyone told me was 'inherantly too dirty for teenagers to know about'. For so long i was just told that crossdressing was 'a sick fetish men have for wearing women's underwear' not just.. A woman is a woman and is telling you she's a woman and you wont listen to her. And for some reason they always obsessed with MTF trans folk in these sensationalist hate sermons, i guess because 'a man who gets off on dressing like a woman' just sounds like the more disgusting version when youre a sexist homophobic transphobic piece of shit throwing your bigotry at children. And at the same time also aphobic and telling me i need surgery on my genitals if i dont want sex. Mannnn kids those days.. i really hope kids these days have it better! I hope everyone who dealt with that shit managed to find love and support eventually, even if its still a damn crime they had it denied to them during their most important childhood years. The whole concept of 'an innocent carefree childhood' is so unknown to me, its ironic people claim they want to keep "lgbt politics" away from children in order to preserve that innocent childhood...

Aaaaanyway im rambling lol! In summary pokemon was one of my only coping methods during that childhood and the only small way i could pretend someone accepted me. Even if it was just by whispering no when the professor said 'are you a boy or a girl' and being happy at the little genderless mons like magnemite or the legendaries. I dont think i would have ever realized it was actually POSSIBLE and had words for the complex dysphoria i was feeling, if i hadnt played this dumb lil series of games.

Anyway thats probably also why i never had any attatchment to gen 1 despite being born right as the first wave of pokemania was coming out. The memories i have of those times are complex. Im just excited to revisit kanto as a new and happy person and maybe make new memories! I already barely remembered actual Yellow compared to FRLG, it was kind of a trip to play it on virtual console and remember all the tiny bits of sexist writing that games used to have during that era. It was like 'whoa i never noticed this was wrong as a kid, this finally explains why it made me uncomfortable!' Also the gameplay was glitchy and the plot nonexistant and the translation rudimentary and limited. And the mons weren't very good and i prefer pretty much every other generation and especially Garbodor and Vanillite, dammit!

Ok im going offtopic again

So yeah like i said im happy that Let's Go has managed to make me hype even thougj i didnt enjoy kanto the first time around! And its good how much it represents my journey out of that shitty childhood so now i can revisit it and pretend this is my first time and None Of That Happened, Thanks

So anyway bunni draws past self. And gets emotional. And rambles for hours in a dumb post.

Ok bye