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littlelesbinonny · 5 months

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The Devil's Den

Chapter 39: In Which The Daylight Is Fading Pt. 2

You can read this also on Ao3 at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46831621/chapters/117962293

Jesus fucking Christ.

Alcina was about to become suddenly un-internally screaming.

You. You! What was she going to do with you? Yes, you had figured it out. Yes, you were changing. Yes, you were not just a human. Yes, were rightfully demanding answers and Alcina was on the verge of losing it. How in the goddamn hell was she supposed to juggle all of this?! It was her own fucking fault. Still, through it all her greatest fear and determination was to keep you safe. But you had to listen, you had to understand, you had to blindly trust, and fuck, she knew how hard that was. She was nearly ready to cross the threshold and tell you everything just to get the weight off her shoulders. But it would only burden you more, wouldn't it? One loss to another gain?

And Malka. Who was this Malka. An old Jewish Mystic? Really? Were they still around? She scoffed.

You were right. Yet again. It should be her guiding you through this, not some old woman she didn't even know or trust with you! In her absence and lack of ability or will to address what was happening to you she had inadvertently sent you off to another for answers.

God - fucking damn it all!

She flitted her way back to the church as fast a she could. Her mind could duke it out with her heart later.

Donna was there now with a slew of vampires. Father Archer had disappeared and Alcina was eternally grateful. Father Sullivan was still present as was the shaking, pale as a ghost deacon from before. Poor child. He should be put out of his misery for the pure act of mercy. Seeing his comrade in such a state would scar him for life.

All eyes turned to her as she came in through the same side door and shut it behind her.

Alcina chiseled her features to a stern, stoic facade and joined the group.

"Excuse us, please," Donna enunciated as Alcina approached, grabbing her by the arm and dragging her through to a neighboring room, out of sight and hearing range, "where have you been?"

Her inquiry wasn't sharp nor rude, but dripping with disbelief and genuine curiosity as to why she'd leave this scene.

"She saw it. I had to go after her."

Donna's eyes went wide at Alcina's admission.

"W-what? Who? Your human?"

"She has a name!" Alcina spat, quickly reclaimed her control and took a deep breath, "Just - I'm sorry... I don't know how or why she was here but she walked into it, and I had to follow her and make sure she was alright."

Donna blinked, "Is she?"

"Of course not. But she is fine for the time being. I'm here now. What have I missed?" she asked placing a hand mindfully on her hip.

There was a confused pause but Donna threw it out the window, "I radioed Karl to order mobilization of our troops outside of the underground. If a mutant is here we have to locate it before it gets any farther in the human world and creates who knows what kind of havoc. We can only contain and minimize so much before it becomes a conspiracy theory on TickedTocked, or whatever the fuck humans use for news now."

Alcina sighed, "what about the boys family?"

"That's something you'll need to discuss with Father Sullivan. He's been pretty quiet since we arrived. You'll need to do some serious damage control here."

"I want updates as soon as anything comes in," she mused, taking off your gloves.

"I figured you would."

Donna held out a small radio comm for Alcina.

She took it with a short smile and nodded, "always on top of it. Go, get back underground. I'll take care of what needs done up here."

Malka sat perched on her sofa. Eyes wide, but facial expressions otherwise void of much else.

"I..." you mumbled, "I don't know what to do."

Clearing her throat, Malka nodded very slowly, her vision cast down to the floor now as her lips pursed while she chewed on all of this information.

"I don't know much else, but the feeling in my old gut says Alcina is right; you should be mindful of your safety. You are a novice, though a quick learning and talented one, it seems as though whatever devil has escaped in this world is not to be trifled with, no? Even I, as old and wise as I might be, wouldn't even know where to begin concerning this."

"It's not like I'm going to go out looking for a fight, I just, I just want to be able to help myself, and god forbid Alcina if something goes really wrong."

Malka narrowed her eyes at you, "staying out of sight and out of harms way is the likeliest option right now, ketzeleh. What you described to me, what the foe did to your very powerful Alcina, if that's any indication as to this things power... invisibility would be your best bet for safety. We still don't know the extent of your powers. Perhaps we can try illusion magic, it would be a good additive to aid your mind EMP trick."

"Mind EMP magick?"

She smirked, "yes, that's what I've deemed it. What you did to those boys was clearly a nervous system attack, much like an EMP pulse would do to electronics; it seemed to cause them great pain and shut down their function until they scrambled away from you. So, mind EMP - voila!"

You couldn't help but chuckle a little. You liked that.

Getting back to present matters, you leaned on your knees and sighed, "ok, so... tell me about this illusions magick. Is it really invisibility?"

Malka grinned, "almost. It's the manipulation of perception; you alter your energy field to match your surroundings in a way that hides you in plain sight. Someone, or something, can be looking directly at you and see you but not comprehend you're standing there. You cease to exist as a singular entity and become one with what is around you. You're there, but cannot be perceived."

"Can you show me?" you asked excitedly.

"Oh heavens, I am not as strong as I used to be and I don't practice my abilities the way I used to so I highly doubt it, but I can try to walk you through it. Go stand in front of the book case."

Doing as instructed, you did so and watched as the little old woman came towards you with her eyes glittering with that mischievous light she held.

She grasped your left arm and made you hold it out in front of you, flattening your palm outwards and stood in front of you.

"Now... close your eyes, find your energy source, and focus on wanting to not be seen. Repeat this silently to yourself: I am my surroundings, I am part of the picture."

Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes and let yourself feel your body and the energy pulsing through you. After a few moments you instinctively pushed your intention through your arm to your palm and slowly chanted in your mind; I am my surroundings. I am part of the picture. I am my surroundings. I am part of the picture. I... am my surroundings... I am part of the picture.

Like a flickering television screen trying to load the picture from a spotty antenna connection, Malka watched as your body began to blend into the bookcase and a large smile took her lips.

"Yes, good ketzeleh! Keep going!"

You tried to focus harder but it seemed the harder you tried the more your memory kept throwing images of Alcina and the scene from the church to your forefront, the argument, the way she looked at you, the fear you could feel from her, and everything else that transpired just a few hours prior. Before long you dropped your shield and huffed, angry you couldn't keep control.

Malka, and the ever nurturing woman she was, came to grasp your arm and brought you back to the couch.

"Come. It has been a traumatic night for you. Don't be discouraged, you managed to flicker a little which is quite a feat! You're very powerful, but you must learn to hone your control better, that's all."

Leo came and jumped in your lap as you slumped back, feeling quite defeated, and not just by failing at your attempt to vanish.

Your mind and heart was heavy. You knew things were not right. Anywhere.

"Do you really think it wise to disappear at a time like this?" Donna asked sharply.

Alcina did her best not to react, turning her eyes over her shoulder as she was putting a few things away in the shelf behind her desk, "I promised her yesterday I would see her tonight. It will be a short visit."

"It's not safe!"

"I'm aware!" she snapped, "But I intend to keep my promise and we have this place on lock down. Like it or don't, I'm going."

Donna was about to have a fit but knew it would get her nowhere. She bit her bottom lip and felt the tension in her jaw grow tighter, finally accepting the Matriarch's decision and turning to leave. She had too much shit to do.

"Be careful." Was all she offered before she took her leave.

She loved Alcina with all of her heart, but Christ that woman drove her absolutely mad at times!

Donna damn near slammed her door shut when she entered the house.

She headed straight to the kitchen and poured herself a large glass of blood-wine and leaned her hip on the counter, tapping her free hand on the granite top as she had a stare-down with the floor. "You know, maybe I'll take up smoking," she muttered to herself, "take this edge off otherwise I may just snap one of these days. Just maybe."

Taking another large gulp she shook her head and made her way with purpose to her own study to make a call to Karl, but she didn't get far until a very strange chiming came ringing from the bookshelf in the living room.

Donna stepped slowly into the room and listened, her keen sense of hearing drawing her eyes to an ornately carved jade box she'd been given by an admirer long, long ago.

The shrillness of the sound was relieved when she removed the lid to find an old small black cell phone ringing off the hook.

She was hesitant to answer it. How did this even get in here? She'd never had a cell phone and knew no one who did.

But her instincts shoved their way passed her apprehension and she pressed the worn out green phone icon on the front.

"... Hello?"

"UH-BOUT FUCKING TIME!"

"Angie!" Donna shot, "oh my god where have you been, where are you, are you ok?!"

Her little cretin sister had been missing in action for nearly over a month, and while she knew she was up to something and likely on a hot trail, she hated not knowing where she was or what she was doing. Angie drove her just about as nuts as Alcina did these days.

"I'm fine, I've been in a wall."

"What?"

"I'm in a wall, ok? For like, fuckin' weeks - but that's really really really not what's important right now and I need you to -"

"Jesus, Angie, slow down!"

"No! I ain't got time to slow down - you gotta speed up! Shit is going down and it's going down fast and there's not a lotta time to explain because my battery is hella fuckin' low but they're coming - "

"W-what, who?"

"Shut up and let me finish! FIND ALCINA NOW! Get the military! They're coming! They're coming THROUGH the underground! I'm on my way but -"

Silence.

"A-Angie?" Donna sputtered, "Angie?!"

She pulled the phone away from her ear to see the small screen had disconnected the call. Trying desperately to remember how to operate these fucking things, Donna hit a few buttons and found the call list, highlighting the only one on the screen and redialing.

Barely a ring sounded in the earpiece before an annoying woman's voice told her the voicemail box had not been set up. She hung up quickly and sped through the house to find her comm.

Alcina's mind was unnervingly quiet as she made her way up to the church and through it. It was as eerily silent and she heard every single one of her footsteps as if she'd never heard them before. Father Sullivan was at the alter up front, staring up to the stained glass with his rosary wrapped around his hands that were in a praying formation.

"The boys mother has demanded to speak with you, Lady Dimitrescu."

His voice halted her in her tracks.

Great.

"Was it wise to tell and outsider of our existence, Father?" she countered, eying him thoroughly as he turned and slowly began to walk up the aisle.

"You left me with a very unfortunate circumstance. There's very few lies I could tell to comfort this woman. The truth was my only option."

Alcina's perfectly arched brow matched the frown in her crimson red lips, "sometimes lies are necessary."

Father Sullivan stopped in front of her, gazing up at her intimidating stature as he secured his hands behind his back, "to you, perhaps. When can I tell her you're free?"

She wanted to scoff but did not, instead her other eyebrow joined in similar fashion, "I am quite busy, finding the one responsible for her sons death and all, you know -"

"Please make time for this. You must make this right!"

"And what am I suppose to tell her, Father?! Yes, dear lady, there's an underground legion of vampires that live beneath your feet - so sorry your poor boy got caught up in a problem that escaped from there, please, tell me what I can do to make this better for your pitiful human existence?! You should have lied to her and saved us more mess! Humans outside of the church should know nothing about us!"

"She has sworn an oath to secrecy."

"Ugh, please. Her word means nothing to me, you have nothing to stand on she will keep it."

"As if you all are so much better?"

Alcina's spine tensed and she inched closer to the man below her, her face riddled with her distaste.

"Your insinuation displeases me greatly, Father Sullivan. Awfully bold for you to throw that at me when you and yours have no defense against whatever is running loose aside from the ones your insulting."

He swallowed hard and clenched his jaw, "you're here to stop things like this from happening at all, aren't you?"

"The best laid plans of mice and men, Father. We cannot see all ends. I've lost more of my men to this problem than you have any idea about," her voice took a dark turn as she stepped in even closer, "if you think I'm not doing everything I can, you are sorely mistaken. You've had one casualty, to which I'm exercising all in my power to make sure doesn't happen again... I have lost over fifty... mind your accusations."

Father Sullivan nodded curtly and backed away from the towering vampire, swallowing once more and straightening his posture, "forgive me, Lady Dimitrescu. As you must understand this has been heavily shocking for us. I'm struggling with... well, many things. As one leader to another, you know the pressure I'm under."

Considering his words with a softening of her face, Alcina relaxed slightly and took a deep breath, "that I do. And as one leader to another, and while you've never faced the terrors I have, know this; when the true struggles set in with vengeance, making enemies of your true allies is the worst move you can make. And we are your allies, Father. Though you cannot see the work taking place behind the scenes, you must trust us the way you always have."

He nodded slowly, "you're right. I will. We will. Forgive my words."

"I'll let you in on a little secret; if I took true displeasure or offense in what you said, you'd not be here looking me in the face. I do kind of like you, Father, but please stay on my good side," she winked.

The smallest of smiles appeared and he nodded once more, "noted."

Without another word she was gone.

Your lit up apartment was a sight for her weary eyes and Alcina scaled your building with ease, allowed herself in your balcony door after sensing her surroundings thoroughly.

The pending conversation was giving her pause but more than anything she just wanted to see you, hold you in her arms, and keep you close and know you were safe as long as you were there.

But where were you?

Alcina scoured the living room until a flickering caught her eye and within a split second there you appeared, eyes wide and your palm held out in front of you. You looked almost as bewildered as her.

"Draga..." she uttered, feeling her heart lurch in her chest at the sight of you, her worries almost melting away as she stepped towards you.

She had almost expected you to be hesitant at her very presence, but you were no where near that as you nearly bolted for her.

Alcina met you halfway through the living room and you were within each others arms not quickly enough. You buried your face in her chest and she in your hair, staying in silence and comfort that the two of you were safe and unharmed and together amidst the chaos outside.

Before you knew what was happening Alcina had relocated her arms and scooped you up and brought you to the couch, wrapping you up in her strong encompassing embrace like you'd slip away like liquid.

"I've missed you. I've been really worried about you," you uttered in her neck, keeping your arms secure around her.

"Oh draga," she replied softly, "I'm fine. Are you?"

You simply nodded mutely against her and closed your eyes.

"I don't have long," Alcina admitted solemnly, "but I promised to see you and listen to what you needed to tell me."

Damn her, you couldn't stop your smile.

Finally pulling away you looked at those stunning slate colored eyes and leaned in to kiss those plush red lips, "you're a woman of your word, and I love you for that."

Alcina hummed through a soft smile and kissed you back, "for my girl, I am anything you wish of me."

Oh. Oh wow.

"If you're trying to get back into my good graces you don't have to pull out all the stops, you know," you jested trying to shove your tears back in your eyelids.

She cupped your face with her leather glove clad hand and made you look at her, "I mean it, draga mea. I love you. Now... tell me everything."

Alcina was still chewing and swallowing on everything you had told her, but still the hardest to force down was this Malka woman. Was it just her jealousy, which she would never admit out loud, or was it something worth buying into? You'd never spoke of having many friends, and this was the first she'd heard of this woman, and while she was clearly no threat to you and your affections for her, Alcina didn't like the idea of someone else being so close to you. Silly, perhaps. Petty, perhaps. You were her hearts treasure and she was not taking you for granted. Not again.

"And that is why you materialized out of thin air when I arrived?" she asked stroking her hand mindlessly up and down your thigh.

You were leaned back on the arm of the couch with your legs draped over her lap while you had spilled all of your beans to her, making it easy to stay close and intimate but still able to see all of each other.

"I've been working at it tirelessly, I'm really pretty drained right now, but... yeah. It's nice to know I finally got it."

To say she was doing her best to hide her overwhelm was being nice about it. You really were coming into your own and there was no stopping it. Alcina only wished this wasn't happening at the same time everything else was. More than anything she wanted to be here for you on this journey, be part of it, help you discover and uncover and train and work your magick the way she should be. But this was also so very dangerous. Not just for you, but for her. If Mother Miranda were to ever -

A ruckus from your bedroom startled you both and before either of you could move from the couch, a tiny brunette appeared from the hallway.

"Donna!" Alcina gasped, unceremoniously dropping your legs from her lap and standing with a jolt.

She was a little out of breath as she straightened her black button down, high-collared shirt while approaching the two of you.

Oh, ok, so this was Donna. What the hell was she doing in your apartment?

You stood next to Alcina quite confused and unsure of your own footing.

"I really don't have time for pleasantries," Donna stated, addressing you with a short nod, "though it is nice to finally put a face with a name," her attention immediately went back to Alcina with haste, "we need to go now, this is not up for debate."

Alcina was almost taken aback. Firstly, for Donna to find her, let alone be here, was concerning all on it's own. Secondly, for her to be in such a state, which was hidden immaculately for the situation, made Alcina's stomach twist. Something was terribly, terribly wrong.

Goddammit.

You barely had time to register anything before Alcina took your face in her palms once more and looked at you like you would fade away within the second.

"Do not leave this apartment until the sun is up. And do not be outside of this apartment when the sun begins to set, do you understand me?"

Her tone made your face contort into worry, but you nodded, "yes."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"Lock your doors and your windows. Do not open the door to anyone outside of daylight hours."

Alcina watched your nod of agreement and pulled you to her once more, holding onto you for as long as she could, "I love you, I love you, and I will return to you as soon as I can."

"I - I love you too - "

You were cut off as she kissed you with haste and with one more blink she and Donna were gone.

You stood there in your silent apartment trying to wrap your mind around what just happened.

Things were taking a turn. You could feel it.

It felt awful.

Now all you could think about was Alcina.

"I can see why you're so smitten with the woman, she's beautiful."

Alcina could have run into a wall, that comment struck her so out of left field.

"What the entire fuck, Donna," she spat as they hurried through the city streets, "that's the first thing you say to me after showing up like that? What the fuck is going on?!"

"I know, I'm sorry! I'm panicked!"

"Clearly!"

"Angie called me - "

"Wh - from where?"

"I'll get there, I'll get there - just let me explain, we have very little time! She hid a cell phone in our house - it rang - it was her - she told me she's been hiding in a wall for weeks and that they, whoever they are, were moving and moving fast and we didn't have time, that I need to find you and get our military moving, that they were moving through the underground - I radioed Karl and basically everyone is running around like headless chickens trying to make heads or tails of what she told me - I had no choice but to alert everyone in the city and all the council - she must mean the mutants because I cannot fathom what else she could possibly mean!"

Alcina's head was fitfully spinning as they rushed through the church like a blur and to the tunnels to the underground.

And then they heard it.

Rumbling.

#alcina dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu/female reader #alcina dimitrescu/original female character #alcina dimitrescu/reader #lesbian #f/f #fanfic #wlw #fic #donna beneviento #angie beneviento

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gumnut-logic · 1 year

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Fall

Just a random Earth & Sky scene written for ‘who knows why’ reasons. Nothing special and only short, but fic, nonetheless.

A little bit of Virgil whump. I may have accidentally dropped him off a mountain, but it is not about that. As to what it is about, I’m not entirely sure :D

I hope you enjoy this little bit.

-o-o-o-

Scott caught him as he fell.

He knew it was Scott because it was Scott. No one had arms like that, no one else had a rocket strapped to his back so he could slow Virgil’s descent, and no one quite swore like that either.

Of course, he had every right to swear because catching Virgil also meant catching the exo-suit attached to him, and that was heavy.

Virgil knew it was heavy because the broken strut on his right leg was the reason he was falling, as was its impact on his leg.

“I’ve got you.” It was rough and gasped out and partly a lie because they were still falling, just slower.

Virgil raised his arm to fire a grapple but his HUD was little more than fuzz. Or it could be his head, he wasn’t entirely sure. He had hit a few rocks on the way down.

He could hear Scott’s breathing and the strain on his jetpack and just wished he could help, but then they were landing.

Hard.

There was more swearing and Virgil’s world went sideways, completely disappearing for a moment as he rolled.

Ow.

Goddamned ow.

His right leg was definitely sporting some damage.

But as he came to a stop, flat on his back, staring up at the grey sky that had brought half the mountain down on the village in the first place, he lay there dazed, knowing he should be getting up and checking on his brother.

But fuzz.

“Virgil!”

And yes, there was Scott. Worry in his eyes again. He really did have far too much to worry about.

Virgil was aware somewhere beyond the fuzz that he was the one causing the worry and it was wrong, just wrong. He was the one who protected Scott from worry. He was the one who made sure everything was ready, everything was as it should be. Virgil stopped his brother worrying because his brother knew he could count on Virgil.

But not today.

Scott was running a mediscanner over him, its blue light flickering in his eyes as if his brother’s gaze was manifesting and gathering the information he needed.

“Thunderbird Five? Virgil is down. Lacerated leg, blood loss, concussion. I’m on evac. Update Gordon and Alan.”

“FAB.” John’s voice echoed and Virgil found reassurance in it.

If Virgil was unable to alleviate Scott’s worries, John could do it. Johnny with his musical voice and genius smarts. Always there at a moment’s call.

Scott was trying to get Virgil out of his exo-suit.

Blinking and trying to force sense into his head, Virgil tried to pull his arms free to help.

“Hey, hey, Virgil. You keep still. I’ve got you. You hear me?”

Virgil’s HUD was still full of interference, but he managed to focus on Scott’s earnest eyes.

He had no voice to answer.

“You are flying first class today, little brother.” A poke at his wrist and Thunderbird One rose up behind Scott, her roar determined.

First class?

Virgil grunted.

“What? No appreciation?” The quip was genuine, but his brother’s voice was rough.

Gentle hands worked over Virgil’s body, unfastening his baldric, placing his tools aside. A hiss of air as Scott carefully removed Virgil’s helmet, supporting his neck. Gloved hands brushing his cheek as he tried to follow them with his eyes.

“Virgil? Virgil, look at me.”

He blinked. The air smelled of earth, dirt and rock. He could hear nothing other than the roar of Thunderbird.

And his brother’s voice.

“Virgil?” Piercing blue eyes. “I’m going to transfer you to a hoverstretcher. It’s going to hurt.” One of those gloved hands brushed his cheek again. “I’ll be quick.”

Another blink.

And then he was moving. The world spun as Scott caught him again and again, his arms around him, reassuring words…

A soft surface dipped smoothly beneath him and he let out a breath as all that hurt settled into a background roar.

His jaw ached.

“You with me, little brother?”

He managed to gasp out a grunt.

A hand landed gently in his hair. “Evacuating you to Auckland. You stay with me, okay?”

His blink was slow.

“I said stay with me, Virgil. One will have us there in minutes. Just hang on.”

Scott was worried again.

Damn.

“F…AB.”

His hair was messed up as that hand moved to his shoulder.

The world moved again and he was swallowed by Thunderbird One, his big brother personified by rocket engines.

Her roar leapt up and engulfed him.

And with Scott at the helm, they flew.

-o-o-o-

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds #Virgil Tracy #Scott Tracy #nuttyfic #whump #but it isn't about that #I think it is about me writing something that required zero thought #but I'm nuts #so who knows

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operationslipperypuppet · 5 months

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all prime numebrs for the fic writer ask! 💛😊

I will pretend you spelled numbers correctly lol. thanks for the ask!!

2. How many fics did you work on this year? (They don’t have to be finished or published!)

I want to say 12. I published 6, I’m currently working on 2 different ideas for the naddpod gift exchange so I’ve started both and will be making a full decision tonight or tomorrow (lmao), and then there are a couple I just decided to not publish and a couple I’m always working on but will never actually commit to finishing because I can’t come up with a satisfying ending.

3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?

That I can allow myself to do the things I want to do and go back and fix the other stuff later. I had previously only done this with a fic that included a bunch of time skips and that was why I wormed around the document but I did this with one fic that I consider my magnum opus and it worked. (I like to write dialogue more than scene descriptors so I wrote all the dialogue back and forth and then went back and added names and descriptors and everything else and it was so much more fun)

5. What fandom(s) did you write for this year?

Naddpod. It was just naddpod. I’m thinking I might break into d20 next year but I make no promises, naddpod is so fun to write for.

7. What character(s) captured your heart?

Hardwon Surefoot. Moonshine Cybin. For some reason I find them easiest to write even though getting Moonshine’s voice right was incredibly daunting every time I wrote her. There’s just so much to play with and it was very fun. Plus the Hardwon being alive reveal rewired my brain.

11. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

how to think about you (without it ripping my heart out). God that was a doozy to write. It was my first foray into doing something multi-chaptered and I did have it finished before I even began publishing it but doing the daily updates and my every chapter mini edits took so much time that it was so much fun to finish. Plus I thought about the idea for truly so long before I started writing it that it was very relieving to finally finish.

13. What fic was the easiest to write?

Fools Rush In (Idiots, However, Take 200 Years). This is the fic I mentioned for number 3. I wrote all the dialogue in basically one pass because it’s a long, drawn out conversation that lasts an entire day. I immensely love writing dialogue and the back and forth, hitting what Hardwon and Moonshine would say and how they’d react was easy. And then, even though I was dreading the descriptors, they came so easily because I could picture them so perfectly. It does feel weird to say that my longest fic to date was the easiest to write but it was.

17. What are your go-to writing snacks?

Doing that classic ADHD thing where you hyperfocus and forget to eat all day and then start shaking and put fistfuls of m&ms in your mouth while waiting for chicken to heat up. But when I remember to snack, Smartfood popcorn.

19. Share your favorite opening line.

“You love me?” (Fools Rush In (Idiots, However, Take 200 Years).) I knew I’d open this with that before I finished the previous work in the series. I enjoy getting straight to the point.

23. Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out?

This was a hard goddamn choice but here goes:

“Look - “ She paused, took a deep breath, and started again. “Can I make a suggestion? You two know him better than I do, obviously, but this might be a time where you give him some space. I know that’s not really what you three do, but he’s going through one of the worst days of his life. And you are, too, but he’s incredibly in his head about it right now. I think maybe if you give him a moment to work out his own feelings, he’ll be able to articulate them to you. And you will then be able to assure him that you need him. Besides, your MeeMaw will take great care of him, Moonshine.” (The Void of an Absence)

Alanis is speaking here. And I wanted her to be pragmatic without seeming insensitive while also staying relatively true to the character she is in the show. I ended up with this slightly more emotionally aware Alanis than we’ve seen but she does switch straight to business afterwards, and that is kind of how Murph RP’d the scene with her and Hardwon. But I overthought it a lot. I’m pretty okay with its final version, but mostly because I got to sneak a “tell me your feelings and I’ll tell you that I need you” reference in there.

29. If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

Obviously the two crew for creating characters that so thoroughly destroy and entertain me, and the people who got excited when I said shit like “I have a terrible idea that’s going to hurt” and responded with “do it.”

Fic writer asks list - ask

#please send more these were hella fun #asks #writing #jlinns #specifically shoutout to benny on the last one. thanks bestie #ask game

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sunnysideoflondon · 11 months

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can i just say i love the demoni album (by joker out)?? every song literally goes so hard even the one i'd rank last if i had to is really goddamn good. i also like how the album contrasts with umazane misli (the album not the song) as its sort of about falling in love whilst demoni is like falling out of love? i haven't listened to the majority of umazane misli so im sorry if im wrong lmfao anyway. i had a thought that was like "the track order is usually on purpose right?" so that prompted me to make a summary of the contents of each song and i was like wait. this is a storyline. sorry again if these summaries are not fully correct i made them with one braincell and i dont have the energy to look up the lyrics again haha ok so katrina is like just post-breakup. "why do you keep on playing me. do you love me or not? i need you and hate you at the same time". ne bi smel is like "im sorry this was all my fault but i didnt have any other choice. i want you back but i know i betrayed you. it's my fault. im sorry". plastika is sort of like a side thing possibly its about hating how you look and having surgery to look perfect and beautiful. "it doesn't matter about anything else, im perfect now". i think this song has a deeper meaning that would fit more cleanly into the storyline of the other songs but im not big brained enough to figure out how exactly if i figure out ill update this. now, massive whiplash as we jump into demoni which is like "i need you here. when im not here my demons play with me" (idk how to better explain it besides just drawing from the og lyrics hah) important to note that this song is the title track. padam is like "i should've believed them instead of going through with us. someone help me. please. where is everyone?" vse kar vem is like "everything ends eventually, you just didn't need me anymore". ona is like "you never cared. but i care so much. so so much". tokio is like "we're not gonna see each other again. only photos will know we were together". note the more peaceful music as opposed to the deeply upset vibe of the others. kind of ironic how ngvot is like "ah, so we meet again. we've both changed albeit differently. we don't talk about it anymore though!" note the incredibly happy music of the song it's so incredibly jarring hearing them repeat "we dont talk about it anymore" with this happy ass music lmfao lastly novi val is like really abstract and could really mean a lot of things. i take it as a general message but it could really be anything. also note that it makes me want to cry so bad. one day im gonna bawl my eyes out because of that goddamn song agh OKAY UM OKAY. so basically the whole album is about a slow acceptance of the breakup but still feeling bitter about it at the end. i think. however this mystery person (probably called katrina) that the singer broke up with could've been anything tbh. you can interpret this really broadly and i think that's why i like the album so much too. it doesnt have to just be about events and feelings post-breakup but also just things in a general sense. so you can find solace in the album regardless of what your situation is. i think thats pretty neat.

or maybe im just overthinking it haha :D

#mine #oops my hand slipped #but if you couldnt tell im a big demoni (album) fan :)#also wishing i could put this in the joker out tag but i am too scared :(#shit why is this so long LMFAO

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sorikkung · 2 years

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what goes on in neverland. ⇝ ch. 4: brooding, beefing, and a not-quite-bluff

word count: 7.6k

pairings: transmasc!reader x Everyone, everyone x everyone (its literally too convoluted for me to try type them out here anymore just see the masterlist for full pairings LOL)

genre: e2l, f2l, smut, fluff and lots of assorted shenanigans. hijinks, if you will

au: battle of the bands!au but make it gay and horny

warnings: instantly-regretted slut shaming (including sti shaming?), brief physical violence, public/risky sexual activity, lowkey under-negotiated kink but nothing extreme, power struggle between switches, brief spitplay

a/n: half a year to update then two within a month n then almost half a year again uh. sorry? HDFKS id probably write more often if i knew more people were reading like fellas if you're reading pls lmk!! what are you enjoying what are you not, are you siding with any characters in this conflict? are you curious about any characters or anything? what do you think about everything so far? a reblog goes a long way, even longer if these kinds of things or any sort of feedback are included in the tags/additions/comments like that's the shit that keeps me going 😩

tags: @honeybyunnies @syunderful @absentcaryatid @mingirn (lmk if you want to be added/removed!)

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You just know Stray Kids's new hit song is about you.

It’s not like you keep up with their music out of genuine interest, at least, that’s what you like to tell yourself, but merely to closely track the movements of your rival so you can strike accordingly. You can’t use that same excuse as to why you can’t stop fucking listening to it, but you’re not beyond separating the art from the artist, even if you just know the artist involved you in this directly.

The song is a fucking banger, unfortunately, and the lyrics tease and provoke nameless haters that jab at their skill and specifically their dancing, so the target is very obvious – but it’s a clapback more than it’s a provocation, so you can’t exactly have a go at them for it. Especially when their lyricism is too goddamn good.

Their lyrics gloat and brag in all the ways you highly doubt they would have the guts to say to your face, hiding behind their beats like cowards, all while rubbing salt in the wound.

They won.

The first round of the competition was exactly as you thought – none of the other bands came close to you nor them, but they managed to pull ahead over you and take first place for the introductory round by a shockingly large amount. People ate up the novelty of something new, wanting to root for the underdogs over the previous champions, and that sets a fire under your ass like no other. the renegades have to really show up in ways they haven’t before, and while you appreciate the challenge, you’ve already explored so many genres, styles and performances, switched up instruments and vocal techniques and Wooyoung brought dancing to the bands’ stages before Stray Kids did. You’re going to need to do something real controversial to take the spotlight back now.

Luckily, if there’s one thing the runaway renegades are damn good at, it’s controversy.

It gives you something to think about, and that much you’re grateful for. Lord knows your conversation with Sunwoo has been hawking over you for days, and every glance he gives you throughout the day seems noticeably more pointed, but he doesn’t address it. You don’t either at first, waiting for him to bring it up himself, but days pass and he doesn’t say a damn word.

The longer it lingers in the air, the more unbearable it gets, so when he’s staring at you particularly hard during a break in band practice, you almost throw your mic down to the ground.

“For the love of god, Sunwoo, if you need to discuss something with me you can just say so instead of boring holes into my head,” you hiss at him, making sure to keep your voice low so your other bandmates would refrain from paying attention in favour of the lazy riffs Mingi was plucking on his bass while everyone else snacked loudly and chatted among themselves.

Sunwoo, irritatingly enough, shrugs his shoulders. “There’s nothing left to discuss. I’m just looking.”

“There’s nothing left to discuss? What did you mean by you think that told you my answer or something like you very clearly have more to say that you’re not saying-“

“It was a yes or no question. You either have an answer for me, or you don’t.”

“What answer you want to hear so bad?” you press, his sudden change in behaviour since that conversation making you question everything. Questioning things like, did he put you on the spot like that because he thought you liked them, or because he likes you?

It’s impossible to tell, with him – you’ve seen him in relationships before, but he was never truly heart-eyed or smitten over any of those partners the same way Wooyoung and Mingi are, and none of them lasted very long, probably not helped by you and Eric, and for those who came later, the rest of the band as well.

Sunwoo snorts. “That you want to focus on band practice.”

“You can’t just dodge the question like that!” you whine, feeling every bit like a child stomping their foot, but Sunwoo is a very particular brand of frustrating when he wants to be. You figure that’s why you get along so well, but right now you want to throttle him.

“Oh, like you’ve given me a yes or no yet?”

He’s calm and challenging in his tone, casually knocking his head back to gulp down water from his bottle, unintentionally – or perhaps intentionally? – showing off his jawline while he does it, and lets out an over-exaggerated ahh once he’s done just to let you know exactly how unbothered he is by this topic. Asshole.

“You-“

“Pick up that microphone right now or so god help me.”

He’s not going to give you more than that, by the looks of it, and now is not the best time to press – as much as it frustrates you to admit, you do need to focus on band practice now; you were not the only ones who picked up on Stray Kids’ arguably-subtle clapback, and the online presence of the competition has been louder this year than ever before, expecting big things from the runaways after winning last year’s battle. Your audiences aren’t very big, but they are loud, and you know they’re all waiting for you to meet your rival’s challenge.

You have to beat them. You have to.

Picking your mic back up, you heave a sigh and crack your neck, doing a few lip trills to warm up while you gather your wits about you to pry more.

“You’re not as subtle as you think, Sunwoo.”

He only shrugs again, genuinely uncaring as can be, or at least visibly so; despite your attempts, it doesn’t tell you anything at all.

“Guess I’m not.”

And what the ever-loving fuck is that meant to mean, you think, but you don’t have time to voice it when Eric hits his drumsticks together to get your attention and call a practice session again.

You win this time, Kim Sunwoo, but once we wipe the floor with the stray cats, you’re not getting out of this one.

You did not, in fact, wipe the floor with Stray Kids.

Their next performance isn’t of their new song, but it’s even more batshit than the last, just as flashy outfits and makeup and props and stunts – and naturally, the song is stupid good as well. Not just addictive to listen to, but masterfully composed and written, and as a lyricist and sometimes-composer it actually makes you furious at how good their music is.

That being said, they still couldn’t play that music live, because it seems they’re useless without their sound production software.

“Uh-oh, here come the loophole patrol,” Eric scowls bitterly, spotting your rival band over his shoulder as they head towards where you had gathered. “I can’t believe they got away with that twice. If they’re really continuing with that, it’s gotta be favouritism.”

It’s the very feline face of the man in your messages that pauses on his walk past, swivelling around at Eric’s words. “You know, if you talk shit so loudly, people might just hear you.”

“Uh, yeah, I’d sure hope they do,” Eric flashes back, “Everyone else is probably thinking the same thing anyway.”

He opens his mouth to utter a retort, but Chris is quick to grab his wrist and yank him back, giving him a warning look as if to try and keep him in check. Cute.

“Lino…”

You snort.

“Lino? You actually call him that? Don’t tell me you call that one I.N guy that too…” There’s not enough time to think about whether you deliberately wanted to provoke them further, or if that was merely a knee-jerk reaction to hearing them use their stage names with each other so casually. The way they all exchange slightly guilty-looking glances, though, just gives you the ammunition to keep going. “Oh my god. You do, don’t you? Look at you wannabe superstars…”

The leader takes a deep breath, sticking his arm out in front of the others just as they take a step forward to meet your challenge. The way they all halt and close their mouths at the simple gesture speaks volumes of their respect for Chris’s leadership – that, or they’re all just well-trained dogs who will eat out of the palm of your hand if you so much as throw them a bone. Based on your interactions with them so far, you’re more inclined to think the latter – all barring Lino, of course, as they seem to call him, he definitely seemed far more like a cat who isn’t afraid to bite the hand that feeds.

“Can we just skip the song and dance this time? You’ve already accused us of being rigged to win, you got your kicks at the club, do we have to go through this again?”

You admire the visible restraint Minho is taking to keep his mouth shut, lips flattened into a tight line that almost resembles a smile. Either he’s just another dog after all, or he knows how to pick his battles.

“No of course not,” you begin, pausing for both dramatic effect but also for time to think of a clever enough response – it’s only then when you realise that you are, in fact, deliberately trying to provoke them again. They seem to expect this, feet still glued to the floor while they stare at you a few seconds longer, waiting for the ball to drop.

Well, you’ve always been more of a snake, yourself.

“We don’t have to do anything. I’m merely just making harmless observations here, like how names can often imply ego…”

“Oh, you’re one to talk,” he snaps back, blinking a second too long that you know he was definitely rolling his eyes at you on instinct. “Does your ever-changing band name have anything to deal with your ego that rivals this venue in size?”

The remaining members break out in obnoxious “oooh”s that you far prefer being on the giving end than receiving end of, making the hair on your skin stand on an end.

“Hm, maybe!” You shrug nonchalantly, thrilled at how easily they took the bait. “Having a big ego is good for the soul, I think. If you find that insulting, that’s not a me problem. Harmless observations, as I said.”

“Harmless observations my ass,” Lino scoffs, narrowing his eyes at you, but he’s smirking, and it’s a little too genuine to be one purely defensive in nature. “You’re a troublemaker on purpose, that much is obvious, I’m just trying to figure out why you feel the need to fight us so badly. Is it your little lovers quarrel, perhaps?”

He eyes Eric and Felix in turn, the two of them straightening up and face hardening at suddenly being thrust into the spotlight. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think Minho, too, was instigating on purpose.

You look back at his smug little grin, and start to think maybe you don’t know better after all.

“We’re not lovers,” Felix spits, glaring directly at his ex, “At least, not anymore. I thought we were maybe friends, but that would imply not actively trying to make an enemy of me. You’re jealous, we know, just get over it. Redirect your energy into beating us next round.”

“Jealous?” Eric guffaws, but envy drips from each syllable, and you know he played right into Minho’s hands, if not Felix’s as well. (The latter doesn’t seem as deliberately sneaky.) “Jealous of what, your flashy dancing? Newsflash dumbass, we do that too! We were in a dance crew together for fuck’s sake, you can ditch Force for your buddies here but you can’t tell me you forgot that.”

He grimaces, visibly shrinking at the mention of Force. “I didn’t forget. Can we just... not? Or are you going to provoke me until I get pissed off again?”

“You look pretty pissed off right now,” Sunwoo pipes up unhelpfully, to which Eric smacks him in the arm. He’s seeing red now, and you wrack your brain for how you can run damage control without admitting defeat and bruising Eric – and the rest of the band’s, for that matter – ego even more.

Then it clicks, the exact thing Minho was doing a moment ago – deflection.

“And here I thought you’d grown a backbone, freckles,” you sigh over-dramatically before Eric could get a word in. “Suppose that depends, if we piss you off again do we get a round two?”

“You sleazy fuckboys!” Changbin roars, shouldering in front of Felix almost protectively. “Go stick your dicks somewhere else and leave us the fuck alone, we don’t want whatever STI’s you’re probably riddled with.”

“That's not what your man said in my DM’s,” you snort, cracking up into laughter when you see his face contort into a look of horror toward you then Minho. “Pack it up tough guy, freckles doesn’t need a knight in shining armour, he can speak for himself.”

“Is that not exactly what you’re doing for Eric, tough guy?” Chris challenges, and by now, Felix and Eric had broken off into their own argument while he narrows down onto you. Just like Changbin, it’s protective, from his challenge down to his body language, almost like they’re trying to block you off from Felix entirely. Like he’s their perfect little princess who can do no wrong, while you and Eric are the dragon trying to burn down his castle. Tch. Monarchists and their rose-tinted lenses they see their pretty royals through, letting them get away with anything. At least you’re letting Eric fight his own battles and stepping in only because he asked you to, but you suppose they don’t know that. Hm.

“Is it? I was merely teasing to see if I could get another chance at making freckles come so hard he can’t feel his legs, but I’d get it if you’re a little defensive, Chris. Catch more flies with honey than vinegar, right? Butter him up so you can have your chance with strings attached?”

“That’s Chan to you,” he snaps back, something about not knowing him back then being drowned out by Changbin’s loud protests. If anyone understands the importance of a chosen name, it’s you, but you consider continuing to call him Chris anyway, just to piss him off. Unless he comes out as transgender, it’s not like he can get you disqualified for a hate crime. Just for being a dick on purpose.

“We’re not all sex-crazy like you, asshole! Minho may tease, but he doesn’t sleep around with everything that moves just for the hell of it.”

Though, maybe they can be reported for slut-shaming?

“Aw. Why ever not?” San chimes in, leaning an arm on your shoulder, but you can feel the stiffness under the nonchalance he’s trying to portray. His soft heart gets hurt in fights a lot more easily than he’d like to admit. “That’s real rich, you know, considering your bandmate puts his cock and hole on the internet for a check.”

Hyunjin, who had been sassily piping into Eric and Felix’s argument, whips around without so much as a mention of his name – if it was meant to be some sort of secret, he certainly just revealed himself just now. “Are you slut-shaming me? Aren’t you literally strippers?”

“Ohoho no, we’re not slut-shaming you, your bandmate is!” you cackle, watching as Changbin continued to dig his hole even deeper with his members. He flashes a quick, apologetic glance at the sex worker in question. Hyunjin’s brow furrowed slightly, but you get the feeling that any other reaction he could’ve had was deliberately bit back to save you the satisfaction.

“That’s different—”

“Yeah? How so?” you pry further, “That he’s doing it for money and we’re doing it for fun? God forbid we enjoy sex in this good, purist household! Pfft. Shove it up your ass, Changbin, I’d be glad to do it for you. Real good at it, too.”

“You wish!” he huffs, but that only draws Wooyoung to your argument, curling himself around San’s side with one arm while his other hand stays very blatantly in Mingi’s back pocket.

“Sure do! Didn’t think you’d be such a prude after I gave you the best suck of your life, but suppose I might’ve sucked the sense out of you, too. It’s okay, I can put it back, and just wait till you see what Mingi can do—”

“Oh, are you mad just because I didn’t beat you up last time, too? I still remember how much you like pain—!”

Fists are flying in an instant, Mingi’s much longer arms and larger frame connecting with Changbin’s face before his punch could land on his boyfriend, and just as Chris – no, Chan pulls back to swing, you lunge forward to stop him; only to find yourself yanked back against a warm, flat chest. The arms around your waist keep yours bound to your side, but other than that, it’s a lot more akin to a desperate hug than a grapple.

“Please don’t fight.”

It’s a lot deeper of a voice than you were expecting to hear that accompanies the warm breath on your neck, and that’s when you realise the one holding you back is not your bandmate, but Felix. You wriggle and slip your arms free to elbow him in the ribs, but his grip doesn’t budge, instead trying to tug you backwards. “Don’t! All of you, stop fighting!”

His attempts are futile, none of the others listening to him and you resisting with all your might, too – you’ve overpowered him once before, surely you can again. You land a other well-aimed jab with your elbow that loosens his grip enough for you to break free, but within seconds he manages to hook his foot around your legs and sweep them from under you in a movement far too swift to not be practiced.

Right as you’ve accepted the fate of your skull’s second date with the ground, he catches your arm and prevents your full weight colliding with the floor, which is almost somehow even more humiliating than if he just let you eat shit.

“I don’t want to fight you, so don’t make me. I have a black belt in taekwondo and you do not want to see me use it.”

His threat sends chills down your spine. Hearing it come from someone as pathetically pacifistic as Felix – and you can tell from his tone that he’s dead serious about it too – after he just handed your own ass to you on a silver platter, is positively haunting. You almost want to test him on it, and maybe you and Wooyoung have more in common than you thought because the idea of Felix rocking your shit is rather alluring, but especially with the audience, your pride gets in the way. You can handle them thinking you’re a cheap whore, but getting routinely beat up in fights you started would just make you look weak.

“Fine then, loverboy,” you huff, quickly scrambling back to your feet and glaring at him. Before you continue drilling into him in the area more within your expertise – words – you look up and realise the fighting had finished as soon as it started, with Minho barring Changbin’s powerful arms back and Wooyoung with a decisive grip around Mingi’s wrist, Chan and Eric bickering at each other to the side about being the bigger man. (“I’m five foot seven and a twink, you be the bigger man!” “We’re the same height, genius, but I suppose since you’re so clearly lacking the inches, sure I can be the bigger man!” You’re honestly surprised Eric doesn’t try swinging again.)

“You and your nicknames, huh? What was the last one, halfer?”

You freeze, trying to examine his face for any sort of clue that reveals whether Minho opened his big mouth or not, but you wouldn’t put it past him to make it seem like he would just to grant you the humiliation of doing it yourself.

He notices your hesitation and smirks in disbelief. “What, cat got your tongue? I’ve never seen you short on words without your mouth literally stuffed, but... I like it.”

“Do you now? Will you do it yourself, then?” you tease, itching to see just how far his newfound confidence goes. Excitement bubbles up at an alarming speed given how just a moment ago you were seething, but you find yourself blurring the line between anger and arousal a little too frequently whenever pretty boys are involved. Got to get your kicks somehow, after all – does that make you a narcissist? Maybe you are, because you can’t bring yourself to care, not in cases like this where they so desperately need to be taken down a peg or two.

Get into their head, under their skin, and you’re sure to win. They may be talented and rigged to win, but this is your scene, and you know the ins and outs of it like they never will – namely, that good music is only half the battle, and stage presence is the other. They have both right now, but the latter (which you do better, anyway – definitely rigged.) relies on bravado and ego – if you can wound it enough, their performance will suffer. Stress does plenty to nuke a performance too.

You’re going to have your fun and give them hell while you’re at it.

“Gladly,” Felix retorts, tension rising as he steps back into your personal space again. “Though this time, Eric won’t be there to stop time for you, so how about we try for a record timing, huh two-minutes?”

A surge of humiliation rushes through you, but you grit your teeth and power through it to not so much as shrink under his heavy gaze. “Tch. For the record, he didn’t tell me till afterward, either – though I still don’t think you can compare a bit of bump-n-grind to straight-up giving head. Though, wait a second,” you laugh, and it at least feels like you’re saving face. “What happened to no fighting, huh? Want me so bad it’s clouding your judgement? My, freckles, I’m flattered.”

He rolls his eyes, and for a moment you think he sees right through your last-ditch attempt at deflection, but to your surprise, he instead grabs your wrist and starts pulling you away down a random corridor with startling haste.

“My judgement isn’t clouded, I much prefer this over fighting – it’s more fun, and no one gets hurt.”

His answer is characteristically pure, despite the many impure things you want to do to him that you’re sure he’s probably thinking about too; despite it all, he’s still at his core, so good. Maybe the real reason he left Eric is because Eric is a self-driven asshole who isn’t afraid to speak with his fists, doesn’t pay for half the things he brings home and never takes no for an answer once his mind is set on something.

To you though, those flaws are precisely the things you love about him as well. That same stubbornness that makes him unbearable is also his undying loyalty; you know for a fact he would go to the ends of the earth for you and the band, and previously Felix as well. The fact that he managed to break that trust? Only proves that no-one’s truly an angel after all.

You smirk. “Not unless they ask nicely.”

“Oh?” He tugs you around a corner you’re honestly not sure you’re even meant to be in, but something about that is just as thrilling as the delighted sparkle in his grin at your comment. “You gonna ask nicely then? Gonna say pretty please with a cherry on top?”

“In your dreams.”

“I could be dreaming right now.” He cages you against the wall, leaning over you and hovering his face just inches away from yours, dark eyes drinking in all of your features up close, not an ounce of shame or hesitation in them at all. Hell, with the way he smiles at you, without context it could even look romantic. “Guess we’ll have to find out?”

“Right here? How daring. Didn’t think you had it in you, freckles,” you hum, sliding your hands along his hips and digging your thumbs past the waistband of his pants. He runs a hand through your hair, slowly, gently – then closes it around your locks and pulls, just hard enough for a pleasant sting, but no more. The action is oddly intimate in its softness, and you can’t tell if he’s just that much of a gentle-hearted lover or if he really does want to hear you ask for it.

He takes his time, tilting your head this way and that, exposing your neck to him. It’s riddled with bruises of varying shades from the rest of your band, which seems to fascinate him – he trails a tiny finger along the marks, pressing down on the particularly dark ones and flicking his gaze back up to your face to catch the way your lips part slightly to sharply inhale.

“You like it rough, don’t you?” he says suddenly, deep baritone cutting through the tension the momentary silence was building. You huff at him.

“No, I’m more of a gentle and meaningful lovemaking under the moonlight kinda guy,” you drawl, sarcasm thick on your tongue, but he just smiles again, a small one.

“I thought so.”

For a moment you think he’s playing along with your sarcasm, but the way he kisses down your neck is so chaste it’s almost ticklish, contrasted only by the way he knee roughly wedges your ledges apart and lodges itself between them, pressing up against you. He’s slow with his mouth’s descent, making you pull him by your hold on his pants closer to you, but he pays your rush no mind.

“You know, freckles, I was being sarcastic,” you inform him, starting to think he genuinely got the wrong message somehow. “No shit I like it rough, our last tryst was a borderline wrestling match.”

“I know.” He doesn’t even so much as look up at you, but his kisses do turn open-mouthed as he finds some unmarked skin around your collarbone, deciding to fill in the blanks – and somehow, it’s the softest hickey anyone has ever given you. You’re certain it’s on purpose now, and his next words confirm it. “I like it when people ask nicely, though.”

Motherfucker. “I’m sure you do,” you grumble, blatantly shoving him off you, much to his alarm. He only stumbles back half a step before you’re tugging him back in by the back of his neck, lips clashing together in a fervent haste.

His body stiffens for a moment and you’re about to pull back before you physically feel his resolve crumble, surging back against your mouth with a poorly concealed hunger for more. He flits frantically between firmly grasping your face with both of his little hands as he licks into your mouth and sucks on your tongue, and grabbing at your hips, your ass, your thighs, wherever he could reach, closing that distance as much as possible. It’s like he’s in a frenzy, drunk off the taste of your tongue and the warmth of your body and you can only think that you could get damn used to this.

“I’ve been thinking about this ever since that night in the Prism,” Felix confesses, and the fluttering feeling the praise gives you only lasts a moment before your next train of thought stomps it out completely; Eric was there at the Prism too. His ex. His supposed first love, who he left so carelessly, but is supposedly still in love with and just not doing anything about it even though Eric practically threw himself at him using you as a meat shield. Yet here he is, blabbering about how much he was thinking about you.

He really meant nothing to him, didn’t he?

He’s brimming with excitement, unable to resist capturing your lips in more heated kisses between his words, “I should be more angry at you. You’re a bit– You’re a lot of an asshole.” He kisses you again. “And I know you try to get on our nerves on purpose.” He kisses you again, not giving you a chance to reply, and his lips are too addicting for you to want to stop him. “And frankly, you deserved to get punched.” He kisses you again, longer this time, teeth grazing your lower lip.

“But?” you breathe out, snorting at how Felix places both hands on your butt at that, beaming cheekily at the silent pun.

“Oh, there is no but. You’re a dick, that’s it. I just want you around mine anyway.”

He’s so genuine and honest, even now, and you’re caught between liking it and being bothered by it, likely since around him you are anything but. You bluff and you lie as easily as breathing air, as frequently as a coffee order, and if he knows this, he isn’t calling you out for it anymore. Given the way he seems to wear his heart on his sleeve, though, it’s more believable to think he naively buys what you’re selling, and you wonder if he really trusted your pinkie promise that night in good faith.

Like a fool.

He’s so fucking good. You’d even go as far as to say wholesome were it not for him practically trying to shove his tongue down your throat, but even the way he does that seems so inherently good somehow. Like he’s happy to be here, making out against a wall with his ex-boyfriend’s asshole best friend who effectively is trying to bully him for their own ego and enjoyment.

You really don’t understand Lee Felix at all.

“If you think I’m an asshole now, you do not wanna see me if you hurt Eric again,” you mutter, and the way he stills again makes you wonder if you’ve crossed the line this time before he’s laughing in your face.

It’s not a loud nor boisterous laugh, more dry and callous, though there’s an edge of humour to it. Perhaps a hint of something else, but you can’t place it.

“If I...” he caresses your face, pressing your foreheads together, almost drunkenly swaying to whatever song was being performed in the background, “...hurt Eric again...” he kisses you, again, and were you any less violently turned on you may have even found it disturbing, but instead of speaking more when he stops to breathe, he merely hesitates a second and goes back in for more.

You hate how stupidly good of a kisser he is, and how bloody pleased you are to just keep going; you want him so bad, you want him all over you in the way he wouldn’t do with Eric around, you want to ruin him until he breaks – but part of you is happy enough just to kiss him like this for hours. He kisses you like he cares. Not like a lover, it’s not romantic. His actions may seem so, but you know it’s not the weight behind it, it doesn’t make sense nor does it feel like it. He kisses you like he cares about something, and while you don’t know what, or maybe who, but you know he cares a lot. You’re merely an outlet – it reminds you vaguely of how Sunwoo kisses you when he’s frustrated at something else, or how Eric kisses you when he just wants to forget. How Mingi kisses you when he wants to pretend. How San kisses you like he doesn’t know how to stop.

It’s not like you mind being an outlet. Arguably, you’re doing the same to him. You just hope he isn’t imagining Eric when he closes his eyes and breathes you in – not like you are right now.

“If I hurt Eric again,” he tries once more, forehead pressed back against yours, and all you see are his pretty freckles. Is this is way of avoiding eye contact? You zero in on his presence, his presence, not the absence of your roommate nagging at the back of your mind. Him in all his overwhelming intensity yet deceptively soft when he touches you – gentleness that feels like a threat.

“Then you can do whatever you want with me.”

“What?”

You expected a threat – hell, you maybe even wanted a threat, god knows you’d find it hot especially with that voice of his, but that? You hook two fingers into his mouth before he can close the distance between you again, pressing down on his tongue and feeling shivers at how he doesn’t even flinch or hesitate, simply wrapping those perfect lips around them and sucking on them all while holding your stare with half-lidded eyes.

“No, you can’t just use those pretty lips as a get-out-of-jail-free card, what do you mean I can do whatever I want with you? What if you’ve already hurt him again? Does that mean I can make you ruin your band’s performance on purpose or drop out of the contest or–“

He spits your fingers out and grips your chin in one hand, the other diving down to unbutton his pants. “Actually, I think I definitely prefer you with your mouth stuffed.”

“Hey, you can’t just say that then take it back–“

“We only came down here because I already said I like your mouth stuffed. And I believe you were asking me to do it for you.” He’s already shoving you down by your shoulders, unzipping his fly, the change of mood giving you whiplash. You hold your ground, crossing your arms defiantly.

“And I believe you just told me I can do whatever I want with you. So what I want is for you to either elaborate on what you meant, or shut up, get your ass up, and bend over.”

He outright giggles at you. “Cute, I know you want to fuck me. Go on then, ask nicely and use your manners and I’ll even say yes. Which I think is more than you deserve with how you repeatedly try to drag my team to make yourself feel better about yourself and get involved in other people’s business, but I can be generous.”

“You dreaming while awake now, are you?” You scoff flicking his chest. “I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. Face to the wall, ass out, now.”

You have an advantage here, you think. Eric has always been quite the oversharer, especially about his bedroom escapades, and while you definitely forgot a lot of it, there is one thing that sticks out in your memory – his submissive lean. How the two of them would switch often, but it would only take a bit of bossiness to make Felix weak in the knees, and your night at the Prism only seemed to confirm that. He just loves confidence and assertiveness, he eats it up and comes back for seconds, and damn if you don’t want to see it for yourself.

“I don’t take orders from you, small fry. On your knees.”

Suppose you’re not Eric, after all.

“What makes you think I’d listen to you then, halfer? I don’t care if it was technically two minutes, I still made you come in your pants like a horny teenager and you were whining for more. The fuck you calling small fry? I’m like, eye-level with that aggro, loud-ass guard dog of yours. You should put a muzzle on him, by the way, and his boyfriend too for that matter–“

“Pfft, you mean Changbin? Sure, maybe in those boots you are, but he could snap you like a twig. Heard he almost did before Lino showed up.”

“You know, I like that Lino fucker. He’s got a flair for the dramatics, and being a hypocritical shit-stirrer, even to his team and his boyfriend. You know he was purposely trying to get a rise out of you and Eric back there, right?”

He was getting more worked up now, not that the bulge in his pants needed to be any more obvious than earlier, but now his giddy excitement fizzles into something far more potent, raw, and hot to touch, increasing your excitement tenfold. As soon as he loses his cool, you win, you realise, so you make sure he couldn’t cool down if he tried, finally going along with his hand on your shoulder and sinking down to the floor and pulling his length free from his boxers.

“Hmm, too bad you’re keener than he is, I would’ve loved to take him and his boyfriend for a spin – though to be fair, they were pretty keen still,” you go on as you stroke him slowly, but squeezing him tight enough to see his jaw clench. “That leader of yours though, now he’s a piece of work. Has the whole lot of you so well-trained like pets, huh? You guys like that? It’s so pathetic it’s almost adorable.”

“How about you keep my cock in your mouth and my band the fuck out of it?”

You laugh at him, sardonic and demeaning. “I don’t take orders from you either, halfer.”

He tongues the inside of his cheek, huffing indignantly before grabbing your chin again to force you to look him in the eyes, and something seems to click behind them. He huffs again, a smirk spreading across his face as he lets his grip on yours go, patting your cheek condescendingly. “Open your mouth.”

He doesn’t leave any room for argument – not that you couldn’t make room if you wanted to, but teasing him within an inch of his life is a lot easier with him in your mouth, so just this once, you obey.

What you don’t expect is for him to spit directly into your mouth, with surprising accuracy given the difference in elevation. His hand comes up beneath your chin before you can react, pushing your jaw shut.

“Swallow.”

You hate how you already did on instinct when he closed your mouth, and you hate even more how it makes you press your thighs together in arousal.

“Good boy.” He grins at you, wider this time, then combs his fingers through your hair and tugs again, pulling your head closer to him. “Now suck.”

You want to sass him back, tease him some more, leave him hanging just a little longer, but when he speaks to you like that, even lower than the usual bass of his speaking voice, all sultry and commanding – so unexpected from him, so fucking hot, you don’t have it in you to wait any longer. You need to hear that voice of his again, those pretty, pretty sounds he makes when you give him exactly what he wants; you bet it’ll sound even prettier when you take it away from him.

You take him into your mouth, not wasting any time relaxing your throat and taking him all the way in, to his surprise – he lets out a startled yelp that cuts off as he shuts his mouth at the same time as he screws his eyes shut, teeth digging into his lower lip. Were you not deep-throating him, you would’ve smiled. It’s not a pleasant feeling, in all honesty – you’re not like Wooyoung or San, who just love having their mouths full, but you do enjoy the effect it has enough for you to be well-practiced, and once you could fit most of Mingi down your throat, anyone else was a piece of cake.

“Fuck,” Felix hisses out, gripping your hair tighter, but he doesn’t try to make you move, nor does he try to move, but you don’t miss the way he keeps tensing up at how your throat contracts around him. “God— heh, I really do like you better with your mouth stuffed. So fucking good.”

With every noise you pull from those sinful lips at each movement of your mouth along him, the temptation to have him for real grows stronger. You work him closer and closer to the edge without wasting any time teasing him, ignoring the dull ache in your jaw and digging your nails into his quivering thighs. The quicker you can edge him, the less you have to fight against your self-control – after all, you can have your needs taken care of once you get home, anyway.

He stops you before you can get there though, his grip in your hair pulling you off him and prompting you back up on your feet so he can kiss you again roughly.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” he asks breathlessly against your lips, “I’ll do it right here, right here in this hallway.”

Yes, god, please yes. Your resolve thins. “Not such a good boy after all, huh? What if we get caught, hmm?”

Every lick of logic and rationale you have in you is telling you to not, because there’s no point getting Felix disqualified from the competition if you bring the band down with him, but you haven’t heard anyone coming down this way yet, since you’re pretty sure it was staff-only and the staff should be busy with the other contestants right now, but that doesn’t mean you’re safe.

“Guess we better not get caught, then.”

Throwing all caution to wind in your lust-filled haze, you hook an arm around his neck and pull him to you, your other hand undoing your pants and shimmying them down, already dripping wet and throbbing for him. He chuckles darkly at your haste, teasing your clit with the tip of his dick, chuckling again at how your body twitches at the sensitivity from each slight touch.

“Eager, huh?”

“Just put it in already.”

He chuckles again, deep and husky and mind-numbingly attractive, but doesn’t make any move to give it to you.

“Then beg.”

Your eyes fly open, staring at him in disbelief as a surge of outrage pulses through you. “Excuse me?”

He stares right back with an unbridled intensity, those sharp eyes boring into you.

“Beg for it, and I’ll give it to you.”

You scoff.

“No.”

He teases at your entrance, watching your face for any sign of restraint, but you stay steady. If he thinks you’re going to sink so low as to beg for his dick in a ratty corridor, he’s dead wrong. You may be a degenerate, but for him? There’s no way you’re giving him the satisfaction.

“You want me bad enough to let me fuck you right here in public, you can beg for it just once,” he reasons, but he should know better than to think someone like you could be so easily reasoned with. The fact that he ever thought he could get away with it just proves you need to remind him of his place – beneath you. A boy toy to play with at your whims, because you hold the control, not him.

“I don’t think I can,” you coo with faux disappointment, giving him one last chance to quit while he’s ahead. “If you want to fuck me, Felix, you’re going to have to do it yourself.”

He senses your challenge, and knows that if he does give in, you win – and lord knows you’re still hanging your previous victory over his head. Deciding he’s not going to give you what you want so easily, he pushes himself off the wall, shrugging with feigned nonchalance. “Nice try. You’re going to beg, or you’re getting nothing.”

“Suit yourself.”

“Huh?”

He can’t hide the flash of surprise across his face as you slip away from him, swiftly pulling your pants back up and re-doing the button, walking off without a word.

“You’re bluffing. Get back here.”

He called your bluff last time, but this time you are dead serious. You don’t need him, or his dick, or even his pretty lips and sexy voice. You want him, sure, you make no secret of that – but in the end, he’s still Eric’s shitty ex trying to take your bands crown with a shoddy excuse of a band, and just because you’re a stripper doesn’t mean you’re easy.

You’ll have him on your terms, or you won’t have him at all.

“You sure like to call bluff. Too bad I’m not bluffing, halfer – I got better dicks to ride. You’re not special.”

You don’t even so much as spare him a glance over your shoulder as you strut off, and he takes a second to recover before tucking himself back into his pants and storming after you.

“That wasn’t what you were saying when you were all over me just then, or back at the Prism—”

“I basically did,” you snort, pivoting around on your heel to jeer at him. “Why do you think Eric won our little contest? Get over yourself, you’re hot but you’re nothing more than a plaything to me. And what happens to playthings when their owner gets bored?”

“I’m not yours to play with,” Felix growls, anger bubbling over where arousal once was – or maybe directly alongside it. “You don’t own me, or anyone – are you seriously that up yourself? Wow. I’m sure Eric is so lucky to have a friend like you.”

The glare you give him at that is fucking scalding – how dare he question your relationship to Eric? How dare he ecen bring him up now? He’s the one who abandoned him. Seems like he’s just like most other cis men you know – all sweet until you don’t put out. How typical.

“At least I’m not the one who left,” you spit in his face, whirling back around and pacing off without any intent of turning back.

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rmhashauthor · 8 months

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hey!! this is chance and here’s week 5’s prompt. your oc suddenly gets transported to a mall. what store(s) would they go in? would they buy anything? what would they think? tell me about the experience.

Mmm interesting.

I'll be referring to my OC Lienfang, from the book I am currently releasing serially on Wattpad: The Dragon Prince's Consort.

Fang grew up extremely poor. Her parents did their best, but when her mother got hurt working in construction the company decided to terminate her instead of pay out the worker's comp. Her father got sick and through some underhanded bureaucratic nonsense the Federation denied him insurance benefits, so he slowly wasted away and died. Eventually Fang's mother also passed, leaving Fang alone and burdened with her parents' debt, which she tried to work off for years with no success. She just fell deeper and deeper into the pit, occasionally homeless and eventually moving to the Drassian Empire to try to start over, where she gets into trouble with a certain extremely wealthy young fella whose older brother is a complete dick.

Now that she's with Valen, the titular Dragon Prince, she's loaded. Just SOME of her clothes are worth millions, which Valen made sure of in the event that he can release her from her contract - that way she'll have more than enough stuff she can pawn for cash with plenty left over.

Before, Fang would have just gone into a mall to look around and maybe get warm. She might have had a few coins in her pocket, but probably not enough to buy a pack of gum, let alone food that isn't compressed protein rations and vitamin tablets. Now that she's Valen's concubine, though, there's literally NOTHING she can't afford to buy at least a hundred of. In the novel (I really need to get used to calling my 'stories' novels) Valen takes her to the highest of the high-end shopping avenues and takes her first to a master robe-maker and proceeds to spend about six million on Fang's wardrobe. To start. Gowns, stockings, leggings, tunics, riding kit, boots, underwear - he blows through cash like there's no end to it and Fang's head spins when he makes a guess at how much it all cost.

After that he takes her to a dozen other shops to buy her jewelry, shoes, combs, pins, soaps, creams, cosmetics, anything and everything a prince's concubine is expected to have and then some. It's so much stuff that it has to get shipped back to the palace compound (which by the way is the interior of a friggin' mountain, because DRAGONS) and an army of servants have to unpack it and put it all away. Fang is overwhelmed by the estimated price, though she accepts that in order to pull off the scheme she's cooked up with Valen she'll have to act like she deserves all of it. At the same time, it's not so hard to grow accustomed to warm socks that don't have holes in them, gowns and robes that fit properly and aren't patched dozens of times, and shoes that aren't so thin she can step on a penny and tell you what year it was minted.

It's only when the newness wears off the clothes and jewels that Fang starts wising up to the idea that it's not so much the stuff she enjoys or the comforts they bring, it's Valen's attention and apparent enjoyment of giving her things she's never had before. Brand-new shoes that no one else has ever worn? They're hers now. Silk and satin gowns trimmed with fur and silver thread? Made custom to fit her and only her. Rouge and makeup in colors Drass don't wear? Specially ordered for Fang. Valen's beyond wealthy - his dad's the goddamn Dragon Emperor - he can afford to spend 10-15 million on his new "girlfriend".

I figure lots of people have a princess fantasy, or at least a sugar daddy kink. I don't judge.

The Dragon Prince's Consort updates THURSDAYS on Wattpad, and it as well as my finished novel STARFISH are available to read absolutely for FREE because why not.

HOWEVER, if you do happen to have a dollar to spare, I also have a Ko-fi. I don't expect to make money off of these but it sure would be nice if I could afford some toast or a piece of cheese. *GASP* or a grilled cheese sandwich?!

You can follow me on Instagram for updates and short-form junk like mini-rants on romance tropes I love or hate, update announcements, very short snippets, dorky memes and pictures of my cat Nell. She is EXTREMELY cute and I love her VERY much, even if she is a brat 78% of the time.

#fiction #scifi romance #author #book blog #booklr #authors #romance #creative writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #my ocs #writing ask game #writer ask game #wip ask game #ask game

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thedarkmistress16 · 1 year

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Yan!RPF Headcanons: RDJ Edition (1/2)

This entire thing is just sexual content so consenting adults only here. That's all I got. And apparently it's a lot because I crossed the word limit for Tumblr. Change the she to whomever you desire! Part 2 Link.

Yandere!Robert Downey Junior (Insp. from Iron Man)

He sucks as a yan honestly, lol.

Gets attracted to anyone that looks or holds herself better than he does. Tight, fitting clothes on any body that accentuates appealing features is his downfall. And accessories; he loves it yet has no fashion sense himself.

He knows he’s hot shit and people flock toward him for attention and whatnot. Ergo, he expects you to come crawling to him when he sets his sights on you and makes his move. Welcomes the arousing challenge if you play hard-to-get more than he thought. Though quite impatient about it, he knows you’ll be his in the end.

If you have similar hobbies as him or work in the same field, he’ll not only be more interested in you, but will absolutely use this knowledge to his advantage.

Will act like the idea of you visiting him during his filming would be a nice surprise as he leaves you an open-ended ticket before departing, but honestly prefers to just bring you with him to stay in his trailer and/or a hotel closeby without even asking. Just wants you to have an illusion of a choice and make it seem like the offer isn’t a big deal. If you’re resistant enough, he’ll just bring you with him without so much as a warning. He either packs your bags in advance, or completely forgets and buys you more clothes in the new town, nonchalant about your already filled wardrobe.

Doesn't really need cameras when he leaves because typically you're with him, but at the times you’re both apart, he'll keep texting and calling you to relay constant updates on his journey and to hear your voice. Would install a tracker just so he doesn't worry about you so much, especially when there are wifi issues.

Honestly, if you willingly accept him, he won't find any flaw in you and lets you live your life to the fullest with the only thing you need to give is yourself- to be tied to him for the rest of your life. Seriously. You're his goddamn angel that fell from the sky and his happy ending to his shitty past. Give into him completely and accept his attention and he'll put you in the highest regard.

The only way he’s going to let you live independently for a time is if you entertain him with sex- constantly. He wants you to consider moving in with him so you’re not so far away. Don’t be surprised when he moves in right next to you if you refuse living together but still wanna keep the benefits of being friends.

If you start being actual friends with him, he’ll tone down the perviness in favor of friendly charm with constant undertones of flirtiness to make you feel wanted and coming back for more of his praise. If you reject going steady and emphasize you want to stay platonic, he’ll be put off but tries having a relationship with you on your terms. He gets frustrated at your frustration caused by his endless flirting and lack of space, so he decides the best way to solve both of your problems is to just accept your new role as his girlfriend and follow him everywhere.

A huge pervert and has a high libido. Even if you aren’t into sex, he’ll still be very suggestive about it and almost try to guilt you into sleeping with him or iniciating a sloppier makeout most of the time. Oh look, he’s grown hard from all the struggling you did against him. Why don’t you come a little closer and fix what you caused~?

Will absolutely kidnap you and make the whole thing kinky with the restraints and touches and explanations laced with quirky innuendos. It’s a tactic to minimize the severity of the situation and let your guard down. It also shows you how you make him feel physically, as well as testing what your turn ons are. You’re his everything who’s finally here with him and he wants to show you how good he can make you feel.

Uses sex to placate you from any negative emotion or distract you, but it's mainly to wear you out so he can feel assured knowing he could be gone for an hour or two and you'll still be right where he left you. The marking you on the inside part is a bonus, too.

Has no shame to speak of being caught in the act. Will keep pounding into you with the new audience, despite your reaction. Walk in on him jerking it so he has an excuse to ravish you out of horniness, even though it was his fault for not locking the door. If he walks in on you, however, he won't leave until he knows you're too sore to touch yourself again without pain.

Expects you to sleep naked together in a spooning position. Claims you’re the one making it naughty when his hard-on is painfully pressing into your skin.

Will tease you about sharing a bed with another if you’re not up for it at the time, but is lying through his teeth. Really just wants to see how you react, hoping you’ll pounce on him with possessive jealousy. Would never actually cheat on you, but still shamelessly flirts with everyone.

Part 2 Link.

#moi writing #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere rdj #yandere rdj x reader #cannot believe i have to part two this damn my love for gifs #thank god im cross-posting XD

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rpmemestorehouse · 2 years

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Shadow the Hedgehog Real-time Fandub Starters

Change wording as needed

“It feels like every day is the same.”

“It’s so dull and...lifeless.”

“You gotta - hey, come back here!”

“Get this shit outta here!

“Dang, sucks to be those guys. Anyway, back to brooding.”

“[Name], it’s me, the Devil!”

“I’m here to convince you to do sin!”

“Come with me! Steal candy from babies and small businesses! I’m not talkin’ about Wal-Mart.”

“Okay, fine, fine, I’ll sin, I’ll sin, I’ll sin!”

“I’ve outsmarted you once again. And I didn’t even have to play chess this time.”

“You better not move, okay buddy? You just stay right there!”

“If you take one step, it’s blicky with the sticky all over your goddamn body!”

“I kicked them so hard they turned into dogs.”

“You ever been to church? You ever read a Bible? I’m from that, I’m that one. I’m that Devil!”

“Dude, I’m working, I’m playin’ solitaire.”

“That guy’s playing solitaire right down there!”

“I don’t have to turn to look at anyone!”

“I let him in here as a joke!”

“I’ve eaten nothing but drywall for the past three years.”

“Sonic and Shadow would’ve answered the call.”

“I hate it here! The sun doesn’t lessen in brightness!”

“New idea: adultery.”

“[Name]. I don’t know what you’re thinking of doing, but I’m gonna stop it right here.”

“My sin is about to be murdering you.”

“Do you see what I’ve become? Do you see what I’ve created?”

“Not my glock!”

“Something just happened...I can feel it.”

“Come on. Someone. Please...HELLO?! WHY WON’T ANYONE ANSWER ME?!”

“That’s like, fucked up, right?”

“You got really supple shoulders.”

“It’s my Phoenix Wright cosplay. Do you like it?”

“I like your cosplay, I-I subscribed to your OnlyFans!”

“I do tier one on your Twitch channel, [title]! Hi!”

“Oh God, not another one of these Twitch fans.”

“I need to update my audio equipment.”

“That look do be bussin’, though.”

“I wanted to kill [Name] a long, long time ago! Ever since he broke up with me!”

“Anyway, time for me to ascend!”

“I’m opening up my portal again.”

“You confused sin with legality.”

“Oh yeah, of course leave. Without giving me a goddamn answer!”

“All right, an easy entry job, just like any other.”

“They really oughta update the security around here, I’m tellin’ ya.”

“Because I came here to take money because I can’t afford it.”

“So, you wanna go find a gun together?”

“Okay, so, I’m gonna have to break down the myth of Americana, and the uh, the, you know what figure it out yourself! I shouldn’t explain everything to you.”

“Hey, that was pretty good! You got 16 sin points!”

“Why am I moving backwards when I walk?”

“That’s not gonna change, you fucking weird little rat thing.”

“Second of all - hey, second of all - would you look at me while I’m talkin’ to you?!”

“Wait, I have jet boots!”

“I think I heard I rat. I’m gonna go give him a hug.”

“Ooh, a clone of yourself, isn’t that pretty cool?”

“This movie really fuckin’ sucks.”

“Oh my God, my mustache looks like fucking grass.”

“AH, bing-bong, hey what’s up, you’re doin’ a bad job!”

“This is the coolest fucking moment of my afterlife!”

“Welcome to the casino, bitches!”

“If you live in Baltimore, fuck youuuu!”

“I just lost 300,000 dollars, but it’s okay ‘cause I won 700.”

“And then you’ll be all like.......because you’ll be dead!”

“And then, you’ll get to Hell, and look up, and you wanna know what you’ll see? My heels in your face.”

“Ding-a-ling, cocksucker!”

“That’s my house, dude! What the fuck were you thinking?!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you mad? Are you big mad? Are you angy?”

“You just turned your head around like, 360 degrees like an owl, that was fucking cool!

“You’ve been nothing but a kind soul since I’ve known you!”

“Wee-oo wee-oo, hey, I’m in your flashbacks now.”

“It turns out you didn’t save her, you did a very bad job. That’s embarrassing for you, buddy.”

“You know how much I cost? 69 cents, baby!”

“You did just waste military money, which is super funny.”

“You could get an internship at Disney.”

“...Is that an alien?”

“Thanks for going to Chuck E. Cheese with me.”

“Remember that big gun in the sky? That was crazy, right?”

“You know, [Name] just pays me not to blow up robots. You could get in on this.”

“Look at us, we’re cartoon talking animals.”

“I love you! I’m having so much fun with you!”

“Here it is, the constitution.”

“Stupid bitch alert!”

“I know you have big ambitions, but they can’t be worth your soul, [Name]!”

“I’m gonna kick so much of your butt.”

“Don’t you ever fucking call me that again, I’ll kill you!”

“I will kill the Devil myself and take his place!”

“All right, so it’s not that hard to right-click on all of them and just hit the save button.”

“I mean, they let me vote, like, 80 times!”

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m deleting the blockchain!”

“I was flying, chump!”

“I always wanted to rig a fuckin’ election!”

“Oh, I hear someone laughing behind us.”

“I’m always laughing at you, you fuckers.”

“You’re being really rude to us for no reason.”

“The timelines are converging, just like I saw it.”

“It’s like, I try to make differences, but...”

“*laughing* You’re gonna die. Oh, my God. I can’t wait to see that, that’s gonna be insane!”

“Wait, I traumatized you as a child! That’s badass!”

“Nothing personnel, kid.”

“Do you ever get tired of complaining like a little bitch?”

“So vitriolic, my feelings are so hurt, oh no, wah, I’m crying like a baby ‘cause of your - DIE.”

“But I wanna see the life leave your eyes one last time, so say your last pathetic words.”

“Now are you ready to finally usurp your throne to me, motherfucker?”

“No! What the f - no, that was never part of the deal!”

“I’m gonna funge this bitch.”

“Ow, what the fucking - you prick!”

“You fucking little pathetic rodent.”

“Oh yeah, “good luck with that”, yeah, fuck you, you’re annoying.”

“I shouldn’t be toying with him like this.”

“What can I say, I’m a rude, edgy boy.”

“No, we’re not connecting over this. Don’t even try, no.”

“No, it’s always “[Name], you change for me!” “

“Hey what’s up, I’m completely fine, like I said, you stupid idiot.”

“You ever heard of gaslighting? That’s, like, my specialty.”

“I was gaslighting you this whole time.”

“This is the last time I fuckin’ play around with mortals.”

“Usurp these nuts.”

“Heeeeeyyyyy! Whaaaat’ssss uuuuppp? It’s meeee!”

“I don’t know how to impress upon you that physical damage done to my body does not affect me in the long term.”

“We’re here to help you, man! With what, I don’t know, but I value our friendship!”

“It’s really cute that you’re gonna ~defeat me with the power of friendship~ and all -”

“Uh-huh, go ahead - ededededede! Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up.”

“This is not - this means nothing to me! This means nothing to me, alright? You mean nothing to me!”

“I’m the good guy! Do you realize? I am the good guy here!”

“I get to kill people! I get to poke people with hot s-sticks! All day!”

“Look! I can do this! I can do this! Any time I want!”

“This is nothing to me! You are nothing to me! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!!!”

“Oh my God, he’s fucking losing it entirely!”

“Why don’t you answer my chats in your chatbox?”

“You never acknowledge me, not even once.”

“I’m your biggest fan! I’ve been with you since day one!”

“I got first badge, I was your first subscriber! And you don’t pay attention to me!”

“You still just leave me in the dust every single day!”

“Jesus Christ, parasocial! You need to log off!”

“Yeah man, this is kind of really unhealthy. Set your boundaries, dude.”

“I froze him in time, he was yelling.”

“Look, would you guys stop calling me cringe, please?”

“Because I’m a bad bitch! And I’m MY bad bitch!”

“You’re destroying me from the inside out!”

“I never thought I’d say this, [Full Name]. I’m unsubscribing.”

“These hands speak louder than fuckin’ actions, and I’m about to fuckin’ action all over you, dumbass.”

“Psychic attack! Fuck you!”

“Like, [Name], do you even listen to me when I fuckin’ talk?”

“We’re gonna broadcast this cringe all across the airwaves.”

“You were never strong.”

*on the verge of tears* “So all of this, this was a big prank?”

“[Name], get up and call him a dumbass motherfucker, all right?”

“I think you should call him a bitch-ass motherfucker!’

“You don’t wanna hurt my feelings, right?”

“I’m loyal! I follow you on Twitter! Your side account and your main! I even follow your “after dark” Twitter!”

“You can’t do this me, please! It’s me! Your friend!”

“I want to hurt your feelings, SO badly. You have no idea, [Name].”

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t come any closer! *stammering* Don’t, NO!”

“I just wanted you to embarrass yourself.”

“Would you get outta my head? I really don’t like you in here.”

“You know, you look like piss!”

“I wanna go home! I don’t wanna be here anymore!”

“We lived. How’s that for ya?”

“You didn’t do your job, so I’m gonna fire you.”

“We oughta open a casino after this.”

“Maybe [Name] wasn’t all she was cracked up to be.”

#original memes #ask meme #ask starter #sentence meme #sentence starter #source: youtube #rp meme #rp starter #rp prompts #rp moodboard #inbox starters #inbox meme

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vallkyr · 1 year

Text

Step Out

When the people you trust most leave you to get caught by the task force hunting you, what else is there to do but finding new allies?

Different account now but the gif has still been made by the lovely @agustdawn

Pairings: Chan x Kwangsun (OC), Chan x Felix, Minho x Jisung, Changbin x Hyunjin, Younghyun x Liam (OC), Siyeon x Jonghyeon, Aaron x Minhyun and other minor pairings

Genres: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, some Romance and bits of Fluff in between

Tags: Dystopia AU, Rebels AU

Chapter Tags: -

Rating: Mature

General Warnings: Violence, Injury, Panic Attacks, Minor Character Death

Chapter Warnings: mention of injury, scars

Word Count: 12,904

Masterpost

< Previous Chapter |

Hey everyone! Step Out is back after two years! To be honest, I had a hard time writing Step Out since the allegations against Woojin started coming up and it didn’t change after the allegations turned out to be fake. I just couldn’t keep the story the way it was so I decided to replace Woojin by an OC. And since I was already changing things I went ahead and made some more changes (like also replacing Jae by an OC), edited everything I had uploaded and so on. I feel way more comfortable writing Step Out now so I hope that the next update won’t take quite as long. Until then, please enjoy the 9th chapter 💕

Chapter 9 - The burden of secrets

Numbers. So many goddamn numbers. A whole damn block of them. As though the mission wasn’t enough already. It’s all so damn overwhelming. Missions require all the concentration and energy Minho can muster and they always leave his brain exhausted, drained and lazy. And now he has to decipher the fucking message in this condition. He’s been fiddling around on his phone and sharpening pencils for ages now. Minho sighs as he peeks over to the sheet of paper on his desk, trying to get himself to get to work.

11111 111111

101 10 010 1110 110 000000 0011 1110 000000 0100 0 000000 0100 0010 00 000000 1110 0011 100 1000 111111

1 0100 0 0 1000 1 101 0011 0100 0 000000 101 0100 000000 101 1101 1000 000000 101 1000 010 001 111111

01 1000 000000 01 0011 0101 0101 000000 1001 1000 101 000000 101 00 010 0011 0 0011 0 1001 000000 101 0100 000000 1001 0100 000000 0100 0 000000 001 0011 1110 1110 0011 0100 0 1110 000000 1110 0100 0100 0 111111

011 1000 0100 011 0101 1000 000000 1110 101 0011 0101 0101 000000 100 0011 1110 0101 0011 0001 1000 000000 0010 1110 111111

1101 0010 1001 000000 0101 0010 111 000000 110 00 0100 001 000000 001 1000 111111

His head hurts just thinking about deciphering all of that. The first message was already a pain in the ass and the prospect of more and more and more messages like this is daunting. Why did he agree to that anyways? Talking is so much easier. Why does this shit have to be so complicated? Minho should probably make a table. So far, he hasn’t had the time for that, and he had hoped to avoid it for safety reasons. But the more he thinks about it, the more he feels like it can’t be avoided. He really underestimated how much work these messages would be. Minho sighs once again while he gets the writing pad from the drawer and places it on the table next to the message. He takes a pencil and a ruler and starts drawing his grid before gradually filling it. Letter by letter, code by code.

After an hour or so the whole thing is finally complete – at least Minho guesses it was an hour. Time runs as fast as a snail when you try to figure out what the letter Q looks like in your secret code. Minho hates that the code has to be this complicated, but it’s safety first and convenience second in this situation. They mustn’t risk the DIT spying into their communication. If anyone was to find the messages, they would surely give them over to that hell hole of an organisation. Just like the government expects of a ‘good citizen’.

Needing a bit of a change for his tortured brain, Minho decides to put everything aside for now and go downstairs into the kitchen. As expected, Spear B, Felix and Jisung have already started preparing dinner. The sweetest smile spreads over Jisung’s face when he spots Minho in the doorway and gestures for him to come over.

“How is it going?” How is it possible for someone to be this beautiful while peeling a carrot? If B and Lux weren’t here, Minho would love to hug Jisung right now. It would be so lovely to be in Jisung’s embrace, feel his warmth and just forget about his code-wrecked brain. But they aren’t alone. The others’ presence feels like a dark shadow looming over Minho.

“It’s exhausting,” Minho admits. “I wish there was an easier way, but meeting Virus regularly would be too dangerous even if he takes turns with Mercury.”

Jisung hums in understanding. “Then you’re here to take a break? I’m sure we’ll find something for you.”

“Yes please. I really need to get my mind off things a little.”

Without hesitation, Felix grabs his cutting board and sets it down in front of Minho. “Have fun.” His voice sounds overly sweet and the wateriness of Felix’s eyes gives Minho a pretty solid idea of what his task is going to be. Minho’s fear is confirmed when he looks down and is met with stinging in his own eyes. Onions. That explains why Felix was so quick to leave and find himself something else to do. Cutting onions definitely isn’t Minho’s favourite task, but at this point every distraction from that damn code is welcome. Even onions.

“Should have known I’d end up with that.” Despite the tears already forming in his eyes, Minho picks up the knife and gets to work. With the four of them all going about their tasks, they’re soon done preparing everything and can get to cooking, which Felix takes upon himself despite Minho’s protests. From then on Minho, Jisung and B are basically… useless. Everything they can do is keep Felix company and occasionally hand him ingredients. Jisung and Spear B soon start chatting with Felix occasionally chipping in when he isn’t too busy. Minho doesn’t have much to contribute except for a few sentences here and there. His mind is running a mile a minute and is completely empty at the same time. There’s so much to do, so much to think about, but Minho can’t seem to focus on anything. So many 0s and 1s are still circling through his brain.

“Dinner should be done soon,” Felix says before turning towards them. “Can one of you set the table?”

“On my way,” Minho says without hesitation. He is already getting plates from the cupboard when Jisung, who has been sitting on the kitchen counter since he finished peeling carrots, scoots over to him.

“Can I give you a hand?” When he sees Jisung like this, Minho almost forgets they had a mission today. Jisung looks calm and cosy in his oversized sweater that Minho is pretty sure is actually his own. He has been stealing more and more clothes from Minho lately, which should be annoying. But Minho finds it weirdly endearing. He could probably get his clothes back if he really wanted to, though he really prefers seeing them on Jisung over having them wait for him in the closet.

“Sure.”

Jisung slides down from the counter, helps Minho gather everything they need and carry it over to the dining room. Minho is about to go back to the kitchen and get glasses for them when Jisung stops him with a hand on his wrist. The little touch has Minho’s body shift down from forcing himself to function into just existing. He can finally let himself feel his tiredness and exhaustion without pushing it away. When Jisung tugs at his arm, Minho lets his heavy body be pulled away from the archway leading to the kitchen, into the privacy of the little dining room. “Are you okay?” Jisung’s pretty eyes are full of worry as he takes a closer look at Minho. “You seem so quiet.”

“Yeah it’s okay. I’m just exhausted and that message is eating my last brain cells.”

Jisung hums like he’s trying to come up with a way to make it better. Minho simply steps closer and lets his head drop onto Jisung’s shoulder. After a moment Jisung slings his arms around Minho and holds him close. Having Jisung hug him lets Minho forget about the code, about the table, about Felix and B in the kitchen, about everything. It feels like Jisung knocked over the glass of his mind and let all the stuff keeping him busy pour out before setting it down again. After a while Jisung starts humming a low tune and lightly swaying them back and forth. Minho can’t help but giggle as he closes his eyes and allows himself to sink deeper into Jisung’s embrace.

“You guys are taking ages. Do you need help with setting the table?” Hearing Spear B’s voice makes Minho tense up. He gives Jisung a quick slap on the butt that has Jisung smile to himself before stepping away from him. When Minho heads back into the kitchen, Jisung follows close behind him and helps him finish setting the table just in time for lunch to be ready.

Minho feels a lot more at ease when they’re eating. The weight of the day feels a little lighter now that he gets to have a break for once. Since Felix did most of the actual cooking, B and Jisung volunteer to do the dishes after dinner. Though hesitant, Minho goes back to decoding after clearing the table for them. He still isn’t enthusiastic about having to work again, but Minho’s brain definitely feels fresher after a bit of distraction and a tad of Jisung. Hopefully working with the code will be easier now that he has a table. He’ll just have to be a bit more careful now so nobody else gets their hands on it.

[-]

“Don’t stop.” Younghyun cracks an eye open to look up at Liam. Thankfully his request works and makes his boyfriend go right back to patting Younghyun’s hair.

“I should have gotten a dog instead.” Despite his words, Liam doesn’t stop or makes a move to get Younghyun’s head off his lap. “A dog would just fall asleep after five minutes and I could watch TV in peace.”

“A dog can’t cook dinner for you.” Noticing Liam directing a critical look at the empty pizza boxes, Younghyun quickly adds. “Not even on a good day.” As much as he loves cooking with Liam, after hearing that Jungkook is injured and having to deliver the news to Bambam Younghyun had been happy to just drop onto the couch and eat. He still feels exhausted, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Younghyun’s home.

“You underestimate my ability to teach a dog tricks.”

“My bad, I forgot your secret career as a dog trainer.” Younghyun fully opens his eyes and grins up at his boyfriend, who shakes his head and focuses on the TV again. “Speaking of dinner, Chan accepted the invitation. Is tomorrow alright?”

“Sure, I can go grocery shopping after work if we still need anything.” It takes a while before the question Younghyun was already expecting follows. “Any idea what we’ll cook?”

The same old problem. It’s been years and yet the struggle of ‘What can we cook?’ never gets any easier. “No, you?”

“Nope.”

“Fuck.” He and Liam start giggling. Younghyun really should have expected this when he invited Chan over. Deciding what they want to have for dinner is already hard enough when it’s just the two of them, but guests always make it even more difficult because they can’t bullshit their way through it and hope the result is edible. “I could ask Chan if he has any preferences.”

Liam gasps in fake surprise. “You’re a genius.”

“Bet a dog wouldn’t have been able to come up with that.” Younghyun chuckles.

“That’s it. Get off my lap.” It’s obvious Liam isn’t serious, but Younghyun sits up nonetheless and shifts to sit next to Liam. As soon as that’s done, he leans closer to kiss Liam’s cheek. Liam seems almost surprised. A little smile fills his face before morphing into a slightly suspicious frown. “What did you do?”

Younghyun rolls his eyes. Obviously, he cannot possible show affection if he didn’t screw up and accidentally wash a red sock with the white laundry. “Nothing. Just trying to thank you for your helping with delivering the news to my unit. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Liam’s gaze softens. “It was still you doing all the work,” he insists. “I just did my part to calm you down for that.”

Younghyun only hums in agreement. They don’t need any more words. Just locking eyes is enough for Younghyun to know Liam understands how important his support was even if he’s playing it down.

It’s Liam who eventually breaks the warm silence between them. “We should go to sleep. If we can’t manage to have a healthy sleeping schedule, you should at least get some rest after missions.”

Sadly he does have a point with that. Younghyun feels utterly exhausted after the mission and the situation surrounding Jungkook. It takes a bit of effort to get up from the couch, but they eventually make their way to the bathroom to get ready for bed. While they brush their teeth Younghyun watches Liam, who is already stripped down to his briefs and one of Younghyun’s shirts, run his hand through his hair, probably deciding that the dye needs to be freshened up in the near future. To anyone else the situation would look so mundane. But seeing Liam in all his half-dressed glory with toothpaste on his lips has Younghyun feel warm and fuzzy inside. The earlier ‘I’ll see you at home.’ is still present in his mind, because nothing describes what Liam is to him like the word home. Being with Liam makes Younghyun feel safe and at peace. No matter what happens, what might shake up their lives, they handle it side by side. Just like they have been doing for the past seven years already.

Younghyun is snapped out of his thoughts when Liam slaps him on the ass. “Did you fall asleep with your eyes wide open? You know you’re supposed to lie down and close your eyes first, right?”

“So that’s what I’ve been doing wrong,” Younghyun mutters while following Liam into their bed. He straddles Liam’s waist and bends down to kiss him while carding his hand through Liam’s chestnut coloured hair. When he pulls back, Liam has the softest smile on his face. They stay like this for a while, looking at each other, Younghyun twirling a strand of Liam’s hair around his finger. If it was an option for them, Younghyun would have asked Liam to marry him then and there. It’s not like either of them needs a ring or certificate whatever – the thought is kind of ridiculous to be honest – but the thought of making it official that they want to spend the rest of their lives together is kind of nice regardless. Though as things stand, they wouldn’t be able to get married no matter if they wanted to or not. At least not here.

“You know that I love you, right?”

“I do.” Liam chuckles. “Love you too, you sap.” Younghyun kisses Liam again and wishes him a good night before sliding out of Liam’s lap and into bed next to him. He falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow knowing that he’s home.

[-]

Jisung stops in the door frame to their room when he sees Minho still bent over the desk. Minho looks fully concentrated and totally exhausted at the same time, which is a shame considering how relaxed he had seemed after dinner. Did the little break change anything at all? How Jisung wishes he could do more for Minho. He already puts his all into supporting Minho, cheering him up and making sure he relaxes after a hard day. But it never feels like enough, especially not when Minho looks this worn out. “What are you up to?”

Minho jumps up like a scared deer and immediately scrambles to cover his notes with his arms and upper body. It’s a strange sight, like he’d defend those notes with his life. “Sungie. I thought you and Spear B were doing the dishes.”

Jisung carefully steps into the room and closes the door after himself. “We’re done?” This is odd. Jisung understands if he scared Minho because Minho was focused and didn’t hear him come in. But this? It’s almost as if he’s trying to hide something from Jisung. What can be so drastic about those papers that Jisung isn’t allowed to catch as much as a glimpse of them? “Is something the matter? You seem weird…”

“No, it’s nothing. It’s just that I made myself a table for deciphering the code.” Minho leans back in his chair, giving up his defence over the stack of paper. Though he turns them around nonetheless. He still refuses to let Jisung see a thing of what he’s written down. “I mean you know the drill. If you end up getting questioned about this-”

“The less I know the better.” Jisung scoffs as he walks over to the bed and lets himself fall down onto it. This is so frustrating. Even though he’s kind of relieved Minho isn’t keeping any actual secrets from him, it sucks that Jisung isn’t allowed to learn the code. He wishes he could help Minho with deciphering or writing messages or do anything else useful aside from assisting Minho in planning.

“Jisung…” Worry sounds through Minho’s voice as he gets up, follows Jisung to the bed and crouches down on the floor in front of him. Just hearing Minho say his name pushes the negative feelings back a bit. No matter how chaotic and awful things around them might get, at the very least they’ll always have each other. Things between them have been going so well. They used to spend basically every free minute together anyways, but they’ve become even closer since they’ve been living here together.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll just read a bit while you work on the messages.”

“You sure?” Minho’s gaze is so gentle that just looking into his eyes releases a swarm of butterflies in Jisung’s stomach. Jisung wonders if he’ll ever fully get used to the way he melts into a puddle around Minho.

“Yeah. Now hurry up and get everything done. The sooner you’re back the sooner can I start cuddling you.”

“True.” Minho is smiling when he rises from the floor again. He stops midway to place a little kiss on Jisung’s lips. “Can’t wait.” Jisung can’t wait either. The thought of burying his face in Minho’s chest and breathing in Minho’s scent while they snuggle as close as they can already feels so wonderful. It will be like heaven to fall asleep in Minho’s arms after the mission. Damnit, Minho really needs to hurry and finish those messages.

“I’m rooting for you!” Jisung calls. The chuckle sends a little tremble through Minho’s shoulders, which is the most endearing thing ever. Jisung takes a moment to look at Minho’s back, basks in the warm feeling that spreads through his chest from being around his boyfriend. It never ceases to amaze Jisung how strong Minho is. Everyone feels exhausted after their missions yet here Minho is, still fulfilling his duties even though he probably wants to just fall into bed and sleep more than anyone. It’s so much work to plan their missions and it must be even more tiring to keep track of everyone and everything during the mission itself. How Minho can stay on top of it all is beyond Jisung’s comprehension.

Deciding to stay true to his words, Jisung gets up from the bed, walks over to the book shelve by the windows and starts looking through everything. Since this is – or rather used to be – the bedroom of Changbin’s parents, most of the books are… not really to Jisung’s liking. There’s stuff about business tactics, handling human resources, and ways to relax at work as well as literary classics that bore Jisung just from looking at them. The depressing choice of books makes Jisung glad he decided keep some books he stole from Changbin’s sister on the nearby side board. Jisung picks one that looks interesting, lies down on the bed again and starts reading.

The book isn’t quite as good as Jisung had hoped –well, it’s only the beginning anyways – but it keeps him busy. After a while, there’s shuffling at the desk, which immediately makes Jisung peeks over the pages of his books. Minho rips a piece from a blank sheet of paper and starts noting down his reply. Even from across the room, Jisung can tell Minho is hurrying. As soon as it’s done, he jumps up, turns around and proudly presents the note to Jisung.

00011 111111

0100 1011 1110 0101 111111

0100 1011 0000 000000 0100 1001 001 100 11 000000 1011 01 000000 0101 1011 010 110 1 000000 0101 1011 1110 0101 111111

1 010 0001 0001 01 0001 000000 111 10 1001 1000 000000 100 001 011 111111

Jisung doesn’t know what it says, the only meaning that matters to him is that Minho comes towards him with big steps. Jisung barely has time to put the book in his hands aside before Minho is already tackling him in a hug. They nestle together, Minho lying on top of Jisung like a blanket. Jisung wraps his arms around Minho and starts rubbing his back in slow, soothing motions. “Are you going to bring that note to your mailbox today?”

“No, it can wait until tomorrow morning. I just have to make it before Virus’ shift,” Minho mumbles into the crook of Jisung’s neck. “I just want to sleep now.”

“You can’t sleep fully clothed though.” Jisung emphasises his point by pulling at the elastic of Minho’s sweatpants before letting it snap against his skin.

“Sure I can.” Minho already sounds half asleep. “Just watch me.”

Seeing no other way to motivate his boyfriend, Jisung pushes Minho off of him, earning himself a frustrated whine. Giggling, Jisung rolls Minho onto his back, gets onto his knees and pulls Minho up by the arms. “Come on.” Minho still pretends to be annoyed by Jisung’s attempts to get him out of bed, making himself deadweight in Jisung’s arms. But the smile on his lips says otherwise.

“You could just undress me here.”

“Tempting,” Jisung admits. “But I can’t brush your teeth here.” Minho groans in annoyance when Jisung finally succeeds in hoisting Minho off the bed and into a standing position. Thinking that this will be enough, Jisung turns to walk away, but is stopped by arms circling his waist. With Minho basically glued to his back, Jisung drags both of them to the bathroom.

[-]

Jungkook’s mind feels fuzzy when he wakes up to a dark room. He can’t even remember going to bed last night. Except this isn’t his bed. Or his bedroom. Where is he? Where else would he be? Is he staying over at someone else’s place? Once Jungkook’s eyes are used to the darkness he takes a look around himself. This is a hospital room. And he’s the patient. He vaguely remembers waking up in the recovery room and that he was transferred, but he must have passed out again right after. What happened?

And what’s that sound? Water? Why would water be running in the middle of the night? Jungkook tries to sit up, but the pain in his leg stops him. He remains propped up on his elbows to take another look around the room. He got a single bed room, so there’s no roommate who could be showering at absurd hours. It could be from next door though? That’s probably it, right? What else would it be? Jungkook lets himself fall back onto the bed and closes his eyes. He’s so damn tired. No matter he much he must have slept already if it became night in the meantime, he doesn’t feel the least bit refreshed.

Suddenly the water stops followed by the sound of the shower door opening and the rustling of a towel. It’s too loud to be from a different room. But who would be here? The walls are probably just thinner than Jungkook would have thought. He should be sleeping instead of worrying his head over weird noises. Jungkook is about to doze off when the bathroom door creaks, making Jungkook snap his eyes open and – for lack of a better memory – try to sit up again. Fucking shit.

“Hey, careful.” Jimin rushes closer to his bed. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes…” Jimin? Why is Jimin here? He was on the ambulance with Jungkook, right? Yes, if nothing else Jungkook definitely remembers Jimin holding his hand in the ambulance. But what is he doing in Jungkook’s room? Jungkook looks up at Jimin, only now noticing the towel hanging over Jimin’s shoulders. His gaze wanders farther up to Jimin’s hair that is dripping water onto his shirt. Jimin showered in his hospital room? “What are you doing here?”

“You don’t remember?” Jimin chuckles while pulling a chair over to the bed and sitting down beside Jungkook. “We talked after you woke up. I asked you if I could shower here and you said it was fine.”

“Uhm.” Jungkook’s mind is completely blank. He can’t remember waking up before or talking to Jimin, but he can’t imagine that Jimin would lie about something like that. Why would he, anyways? “I don’t know. I guess I fell asleep right after.”

“Looks like it. Sorry if I startled you.” A warm smile takes over Jimin’s face. How come he looks so gorgeous without even doing anything? There’s something so gentle and cosy about seeing Jimin freshly out of the shower wearing a plain, white shirt. Immediately, Jungkook’s thoughts start wandering again. He remembers the way Jimin held his hand in the ambulance, how much strength Jimin’s presence was giving him. If he focuses, he can still feel Jimin’s warmth. As much as Jungkook would love to stay right here, look at Jimin and wallow in memories, he really needs to get to the bathroom. Now. But he doesn’t even manage to get out of bed before pain jolts through his leg once again.

“Wait.” Jimin jumps up, fetches a pair of crutches from the end of the bed and hands them to Jungkook. “Do you need any help?” Even now that Jungkook’s injury has been taken care of, Jimin is still worrying about Jungkook. Jungkook would find it sweet if he wasn’t so busy feeling guilty about it.

“I don’t know.” Jungkook is still wobbly when he gets up, but he somehow manages to get himself standing on his intact leg. Despite this, Jimin doesn’t seem totally convinced that he’s fine. He follows every single one of Jungkook’s slow steps as though he fears Jungkook might collapse any second. Jimin even pushes the bathroom door open for Jungkook, which is when Jungkook stops for a moment. “I think I can do the rest by myself.”

“You sure?” Jimin’s voice is smug as he tilts his head to the side and looks at Jungkook in a way that has Jungkook weak in his knees. And that’s even though he can barely see Jimin in the darkness of the hospital room. This is really the wrong moment to be whipped, Jungkook needs every bit of his strength his legs have in stock.

“Yes.” Jungkook definitely is sure. He’s never been surer in his life. A mere second later, Jimin breaks into giggles and goes to sit down in his chair again. Jungkook almost sighs in relief. He doubts his pride would survive Jimin helping him on the toilet. When Jungkook returns Jimin is still sitting in the chair, which almost surprises Jungkook. Part of him thought he might be having hallucinations from the anaesthesia. It’s only now that Jungkook realises Jimin is still in his uniform pants. The jacket that goes with it hangs from the back of the chair Jimin is sitting on.

“Is something wrong?” Jimin asks after Jungkook has apparently looked at him for a bit too long. His voice goes back to sounding worried so quickly it really bothers Jungkook. He doesn’t want to worry Jimin, especially not with something as simple as spacing out for a moment.

“You’ve been here the entire time?”

Jimin briefly looks down on himself before nodding. “Yeah. I didn’t want you to be alone.” He runs his hand through his still damp hair. “Besides I still need to interrogate you and report to the Corporal. That can wait until tomorrow though. You need to rest now.”

“So do you.” Jungkook finally makes his way back to the bed. In an instant, Jimin is back by his side, helps him lift his injured leg onto the mattress and get comfortable again. Jimin pulls his chair even closer, right next to the bed, and takes Jungkook’s hand into his just like he had done in the ambulance. Immediately, Jungkook’s cheeks starts heating up. Hopefully Jimin can’t see him blush in the dark. Gosh, why does Jungkook have to be so nervous because of something so simple? Jimin always makes him feel like some stupid teenager having his very first crush.

“I’m really glad you’re fine, Jungkook-ah.”

“Thank you.” What else could he say to that? Jungkook has no idea how he even manages to keep his voice in check, but he’s grateful for himself. At least that part of talking still works. Jimin holding his hand is still so foreign and it makes Jungkook’s heart race like crazy. How come this is actually happening for the second time in one day? “What did the doctors tell you?” Great. Change the topic when he’s getting emotional. Perfect. Exactly what Jungkook really wants.

“Not much,” Jimin admits. “Just that surgery went well and that you should be back on track in a few weeks. I’m sure they’ll tell you everything in more detail tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook still has no idea what to say. Usually conversations with Jimin are so easy, but now there’s this strange tension. It’s not a bad one per se, but one that’s way more emotional than anything they’ve shared before. This is probably just because of the shock, Jungkook tells himself, Jimin must have been worried about losing a member of his unit. Jungkook tries his best to ignore the part of him that just wants to pull Jimin close and kiss him when Jimin absentmindedly rubs his thumb over the back of Jungkook’s hand. The little, maybe meaningless, gesture feels so damn intimate. Jungkook really needs to get a hold of himself, just because Jimin is holding his hand doesn’t mean he wants anything beyond that. But obviously, Jimin isn’t going to let getting a grip be easy.

“We should go to sleep now.” Seeing Jimin’s gentle smile in the dark, alongside his low voice and the words he’s saying make Jungkook’s mind run crazy. Even though he highly doubts Jimin is going to lie down next to him, Jungkook immediately wonders what it would be like. He’d give everything to experience going to bed with Jimin, seeing him in one of Jungkook’s shirts, hugging him from behind and making him smile by whispering ‘Good night.’ into his ear. Fuck, Jungkook should not be having these kinds of thoughts about his Lance Corporal.

“You’re right. Good night, Jimin-ah.” Jungkook kind of expected Jimin to complain about the lack of honorifics the way he usually does. But today he just shakes his head and smiles. What’s with him today? Jungkook isn’t sure whether he should be relieved or sad when Jimin eventually lets go of his hand. Though Jungkook is sure he doesn’t like it when Jimin retreats to his chair, despite expecting it. Even with the way Jimin leans back, it doesn’t seem comfortable in the least. He can’t really lie down, he doesn’t have any kind of blanket and without any kind of armrests, chances are Jimin might just tip over to the side. Jungkook feels kind of bad for making Jimin sleep like that. It doesn’t matter that none of this was Jungkook’s idea, Jimin decided it all on his own. “The bed is big enough, you know? You could lie down with me.” Oh dear lord, did Jungkook really just suggest they share a hospital bed?

The beat of silence that passes afterwards makes Jungkook’s nervousness so much worse. Was that offer too much? Did he make things weird? He went too far, didn’t it? Maybe Jungkook should have just kept quiet. But then again, there’s no harm asking right? It’s the least he can do when Jimin takes care of him like that. “That’s nice,” Jimin eventually replies. “But I think it would be safer if I stayed in the chair. I don’t want to hurt you while we sleep.”

“Ah right…” The answer makes Jungkook feel a little stupid. Of course Jimin wouldn’t lie down in bed with him. He shouldn’t have suggested that.

“It still hasn’t set in that you’re injured, huh?” When Jimin smiles all the negative thoughts come to a halt. Jungkook just really likes Jimin’s eye smile, when his eyes nearly disappear and his full lips curl up.

“Not really,” Jungkook admits. “Everything happened so fast.” One moment Jungkook was still going after I.N, the next Bora is dragging him out of the building. Something that happened in a matter of second will take him weeks to recover. It seems so ridiculous.

“I’m sure you’ll come to terms with everything once you have a bit of time to yourself.”

“Yeah maybe.” Even when Jimin wishes him a good night once again, leans back in his chair and closes his eyes, Jungkook has trouble looking away from him. Despite all the complicated feelings that come with it, Jungkook is really glad Jimin is here. He wouldn’t have wanted to be alone after this mess. Wasn’t that exactly want Jimin was going for? That Jungkook wouldn’t feel like he’s all by himself after everything that has happened? “Thank you for being here, it means a lot,” Jungkook mutters, a smile tugs at Jimin’s lips but he doesn’t say anything. Jungkook doesn’t know for how long he continues looking at Jimin until he finally falls asleep.

[-]

“Good morning you two. I’m Lance Corporal Kang Dongho of battle team unit C.” Despite the cheerful smile and friendly tone, Chan feels kind of intimidated by the man standing in front of them. Lance Corporal Kang is only a little taller than Chan, but with a noticeably broader built. And he’s definitely way more muscular than both Chan and Kwangsun. Aside from his physical appearances, just the words “battle team” leave an uneasy feeling in Chan’s gut. He still hasn’t forgotten the looks they got on their first day. Though at the very least, he can’t remember Lance Corporal Kang being among the people who death glared at them. So Chan has hope that the Lance Corporal wasn’t completely forced to work with them and may have even volunteered to work with them. One is allowed to dream after all. “The Corporals and Sergeant Park decided that it would be good for you to come along when our division marches out. It’s my task to make sure you are prepared for that.”

“We will go on missions with you guys?” Sitting in the office and being asked questions is one thing, but going out and actively fighting Stray Kids is different. Would they have to carry guns like the real DIT members? Would they have to shoot if they came across one of the members? The thought makes Chan’s blood freeze. He can’t do that. He can’t point a gun at them. He can’t go that far.

But he has to. Chan was resolved to do everything it takes, he mustn’t back down now.

“Exactly. Sergeant Park thinks it will be good to have you there since you know the way Stray Kids operate better than anyone else.”

“Okay…”

Kwangsun seems to notice his discomfort if the way he steps closer is anything to go by. Chan turns around to look at him, feeling a bit reassured by the hint of a smile on Kwangsun’s face. No matter what happens, he’s not alone. They’re going to do all of this together.

“What exactly is the plan?” Kwangsun asks after turning back to Lance Corporal Kang. Chan is pretty glad he’s taking over talking; he really doesn’t feel like doing it right now.

“Well first of all we’ll have to figure out your current skill level and which areas still need work in. Then we’ll have to make sure you meet the requirements of the DIT. After all we don’t want to put you at risk when marching out with us.”

“When are we going to start?”

“Right now.” Lance Corporal Kang beams at them. “There are some workout clothes for you on the table over there. We’ll practice every day after lunch break until 4pm. The people of my unit will be in the common room or with unit A so we have this room to ourselves for practice.”

Oh. Chan had hoped for a little more time to stomach the news. The thought of going after the rest of Stay Kids is still so foreign he doesn’t feel ready to start training for it. Contrary to him, Kwangsun doesn’t seem to have much of a problem with the situation. Without any bit of hesitation, he walks over to the table and grabs himself a set from one pile of the aforementioned clothes. They’re supposed to change here? In the practice room? In front of Lance Corporal Kang?

Chan takes a deep breath to steady himself. He may be a bit out of practice by now, but it can’t be that hard. Nobody is paying attention to him anyways, right? Then why is there still this fear bubbling up inside of him? He glances over at Kwangsun and the Lance Corporal, finding them still chatting. Good. At least there’s that. If he hurries they won’t see. Chan grabs the shirt from his pile of clothes, backs himself against the wall, quickly slips out of the shirt and into the new one. As soon as the fabric slides over his skin he starts to feel more at ease again. When he looks up, Kwangsun and Lance Corporal Kang are still talking about some workout. Neither of them seems to have noticed anything. Feeling a bit more relaxed now that the worst part is done, Chan takes the pair of grey sweatpants from the table and changes the rest of the way. He’ll really have to find a different way to do this if they’re going to continue training with Lance Corporal Kang.

[-]

“Good morning!” Jungkook frowns when a cheerful voice rips him out of his sleep. Why is hospital staff at war with sleep? Wouldn’t sleeping in be beneficial for his recovery or something? When Jungkook tries to sit up a bit, his gaze immediately lands on Jimin who’s still sleeping slumped on the chair. He actually stayed here all night? The nurse currently chattering about the beautiful weather today doesn’t seem to have noticed Jimin’s presence yet. Jungkook waits for her to look at him before lifting his finger to his lips and nodding over to the chair. The nurse freezes in her movements and breathes a silent “Oh.” as soon as she spots Jimin. Luckily, Jimin seems to still be sound asleep despite her loud voice. He must be a heavy sleeper. “Should I come back later?” the nurse mouths.

Jungkook nods, smiling when she gives him a thumbs up and leaves his room again. Still feeling incredibly tired, Jungkook lies down and tries to get comfortable again. But of course, he can’t seem to close his eyes when Jimin is right next to him. In his sleep, Jimin slid down on the chair a bit. His legs are spread far apart, his arms are crossed in front of his chest and his head is hanging low. The sunlight streaming in through the stark white curtains is playing with Jimin’s jet black hair. Jungkook is glad Jimin didn’t wake up when the nurse came in, not just because it gives him the opportunity to stare a little bit. (Yes, Jungkook is aware that’s kind of creepy.) Mainly, Jungkook is glad Jimin gets to sleep a bit more. Jimin really stayed here over night just so Jungkook wouldn’t be alone. He must have been so exhausted after the mission. Despite all the difficulties, Jimin chose being there for Jungkook over his well-deserved rest. Knowing that Jimin would do anything for their unit is one thing, experiencing it a totally different one. And having Jimin do it for him specifically has Jungkook’s heart race a little.

No matter how nice it may be to have Jimin care for him like that, Jungkook is worried about him. It’s probably ridiculous. Jimin knows his limits; he doesn’t need anyone to fuss over him. Even before Jimin became their Lance Corporal, Jungkook has always been impressed by his strength, both physical and mental. Jimin may have a handsome face and a rather slim build, especially compared to a lot of guys on the battle team, but that doesn’t mean he can’t kick ass. On top of that, Jimin knows how to lead a team. He has no trouble joking around with everyone but is well aware of when enough is enough and how to keep them on track when needed. It’s not surprising he was picked to become Lance Corporal after Jongdae left. Jimin is amazing as a person and as a leader. He gives so much when he doesn’t have to. And here Jungkook goes again, getting carried away when he allows his thoughts about Jimin to flow.

It’s crazy how tired operations – and thinking about your crush - can make you. Before Jungkook knows it, he’s dozing off again. Whether it’s for ten minutes or two hours, Jungkook doesn’t know, only that he wakes up when Jimin stirs awake on his chair. “Good morning,” Jungkook mumbles while pushing himself up into a sitting position.

Jimin rubs the sleep out of his eyes while sitting up. “Mornin’.” He rolls his shoulders before pushing his arms up to stretch, whining softly while he does so. Oh dear lord, Jimin looks so soft. So huggable. And just like that Jungkook is back to the fantasy of last night: sharing a bed with Jimin, seeing him in one of Jungkook’s shirts with dishevelled hair and a slow tired smile on his face. For fuck’s sake Jungkook has been having these kind of thoughts under control while they’re at work, why are his feelings acting up now? Is it because of everything that happened yesterday? Or is it just because they’re alone? When they do meet outside of work it’s usually with the other members of the unit. Jungkook is totally not used to getting to put his full attention on Jimin without worrying about anyone else getting suspicious.

“How are you feeling today?” Jimin mumbles. His voice is still a little rough, but Jimin seems to slowly be coming alive.

“Alright, I guess. But I haven’t tried to move yet so who knows?”

“Good, keep it up.” Jimin wags his finger at Jungkook and chuckles before getting up from his spot and starting to stretch his limbs. It takes all of Jungkook’s self-restraint, but Jungkook manages not to stare at the stretch of skin that is exposed when Jimin’s shirt rides up from the little exercises. “I still have to interview you on the whole incident.” Jimin doesn’t sound happy about having to conduct this interview in the least, but Jungkook guesses there’s no way around it. Since Jimin can’t seem to find anything to write on, he starts a recording on his phone and begins with the interview.

Even after having had more time to process everything, there isn’t much Jungkook can tell Jimin about yesterday’s events. The incident with I.N just happened too fast. Jimin asks him question after question, coaxing more details out of Jungkook than he thought would be possible. But in the end, it still doesn’t feel like much. After they reach the limits of Jungkook’s memory, Jimin thanks him and starts packing up his stuff. “I should probably get going. What time is it?” Truth be told, Jungkook is feeling a little disappointed that their time is over already. Well, it’s probably obvious that he doesn’t want Jimin to leave. It would be too good to be true if Jimin was able to stay with him.

“I have no idea,” Jungkook admits. He hasn’t even considered checking the clock until now. As he found out today, when he’s alone with Jimin time doesn’t matter. But sadly, it matters to Jimin. He checks his phone, groaning as soon as the screen lights up.

“Fuck, I should be at work already.” Jimin quickly puts on his jacket. “Sorry, I wish I could stay longer. Are you going to be okay?” No. Definitely not. Jimin needs to stay here and personally nurse Jungkook back to health.

“Yeah, don’t worry about me.”

Jimin smiles. He finally smiles again. Words can’t express how much Jungkook loves Jimin’s smile. “Great. I’ll make sure to drop by again after work. Behave until then.” Already about to leave, Jimin stops in the doorframe and turns around again. “Oh and Jungkook-ah?”

“Yes?”

“The way I know you you’re going to try and hurry to get back with us. Please don’t do that. I know it’s hard to sit around and wait, but you need time to recover. Promise me you’ll take things slow for now.”

Jungkook swallows around the lump in his throat. There it is again, Jimin’s worry. But combined with the little smile on his face, it doesn’t feel quite as heavy, makes Jungkook’s heart flutter rather than weighing him down. “I promise.”

[-]

“Happy Birthday!!!”

The cheers are followed by the sound of a party horn right before Yeji is yanked forward. Hyunjin laughs as Yeji stumbles over the threshold and right into Yuna’s hug. “Thank you,” Yeji says in between giggles. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Sorry we’re late.” As soon as she’s inside the apartment, Yuna rushes to the couch to hug Jisu and Chaeryoung too.

“Yeah, someone took ages in the bathroom,” Ryujin explains with a pointed look at her sister while closing the door behind herself and Yeji. Ooh, there’s definitely some tension there.

“You’re one to talk. Your hair is easy to fix, Unnie!”

It obviously takes Ryujin a lot of self-control to limit her reaction to an eyeroll before finally hugging Yeji. “Happy Birthday, Jiji-ah. Be grateful you have a brother.”

Yeji just barely stops herself from bursting out laughing. “Brothers aren’t any better, trust me.”

“At least I don’t lose half a rabbit in hair every day,” Hyunjin eventually joins into the conversation. He had planned to go unnoticed for a bit longer, as he usually does. Since the couch is facing away from the kitchen his chances would have been pretty good if he had stayed quiet. But one has to defend themselves against defamation like that. Yeji scoffs at him, but Hyunjin ignores it in favour of bringing two more glasses to the couch table for Ryujin and Yuna before taking a seat on the bar stool by their little kitchen island.

“Anyways-” Jisu claps her hands together, effectively ending the almost fight- “now that everyone is here, we can finally get to the gifts!”

“Right!” Chaeryoung hurries to get the large bag she had set down in front of the hall stand and takes out two pastel-coloured boxes with ribbons wrapped around them. She smiles sweetly while coming back to the couch. “This is for you.” She hands one the boxes to Yeji before approaching Hyunjin, her smile turning a little more subtle. “And a little something for you.”

What? “For me?” Hyunjin asks while looking at the little mint green box now in his hands. It feels almost weird to accept the gift from Chaeryoung. He isn’t particular close with any of the girls, even less so after Yeji’s injury. Hyunjin can hardly endure being in a room with them for longer than a few minutes, which is why he’s been avoiding that as much as possible. Why would Yeji’s friends get a gift for him?

“Yeah. It’s your birthday too after all. I mean it’s really nothing big, but we wanted to give you a present too.” The tips of Chaeryoung’s ears turn pink as she talks.

“Thank you…” The last time Hyunjin got a gift from someone other than Yeji was ages ago. Aunt Minyoung had never really bothered with gifts; she had taken Hyunjin and Yeji out to eat on their birthday and that had been it. So getting gifts from Yeji’s friends – people who barely even know him – it feels strange. In a good way but still… weird.

Hyunjin unties the sky blue ribbon, lifts the lid of the box and is met with baby pink fluffiness. He reaches inside and pulls out the soft little thing, examining it from up close. “A hairband?” Hyunjin tries not to sound too confused, he really does, but he has no idea how Yeji’s friends got the idea of giving him a hairband.

“Yeji said your hair is getting way too long and keeps bothering you. She joked that she’d have to either buy you a hairband or cut your hair in your sleep,” Ryujin seems downright proud at having exposed Yeji’s slander of Hyunjin’s hair.

“We thought we should intervene before things get out of hand,” Yuna adds to it. Yeji and Ryujin are both giggling behind their hands. With the bit of context, Hyunjin can’t help but laugh as well. It also makes him want to hide all scissors in their apartment and start locking his door before going to bed, but that will have to wait. For now, he sets the box down on the table and starts putting the hairband on, though judging by the new increase in giggles he’s not doing a very good job. Luckily Chaeryoung is quick to come closer and fix the hairband for him.

“There you go,” she chimes, smiling when she takes a step back to observe her work. Somehow Chaeryoung can’t seem to look away. Hyunjin must be a sight with a pink hairband on his head.

“Looking good.” Thankfully, her words turn the room’s attention back to Yeji. Having everyone’s eyes on him was getting weird. Hyunjin and Chaeryoung eventually go to join the others. They push the coffee table against the wall and take a seat on the floor since it’s already a tight squeeze on the couch with Yeji, Ryujin, and Jisu there. As soon as Yeji opens her present, she starts laughing. “That’s a lot of chocolate.”

“Not just chocolate,” Yuna points out with an amused sparkling in her eyes. “There’s something else, but you need to find it first.” All of the girls look incredibly amused when Yeji laughs and starts unloading various chocolate bars, small boxes of filled chocolates and the like one by one. Basically, all her favourite chocolate snacks are featured in this present. Soon the already cramped couch is overflowing with little boxes and packages and Hyunjin starts to wonder how all of that was ever fit into the box.

“I think I found it!” Proudly, Yeji presents the small box she discovered at the bottom of the box. Her eyes grow wide when she opens it and peeks inside. “Oh my god,” she whispers while lifting a necklace out of the box and taking a closer look at it. The necklace consists of a rather plain, thin, golden chain with a flat heart shaped pendant dangling from it. “You really got that engraved?”

As the only one not involved in the gift, Hyunjin is absolutely clueless. He leans closer to Chaeryoung, whispering loud enough for only her to hear. “What does it say?”

Chaeryoung moves even closer before whispering into Hyunjin’s ear. “I believe in myself.” That’s such a sweet gift, considering the special place those words hold in Yeji’s heart. ‘I believe in myself’ has been her preferred motivational phrase since forever, but even more so after her injury.

“That’s a nice idea,” he replies as quietly as possible. Chaeryoung beams proudly and thanks Hyunjin. By now, Ryujin is helping Yeji put on the necklace while Yeji is checking her image with the front camera of Jisu’s phone.

“Thank you all so much. I love the necklace,” Yeji says with a bright smile. “And the chocolate of course.”

“You’re welcome,” the girls reply all at once before breaking into laughter at their unintentional synchronization. Hyunjin can’t help but smile at the whole scene. Yeji’s friends are such a cheerful lot and it always catches onto Yeji as well. She’s more carefree, more joyful around them. No matter how much Hyunjin avoids spending time with Yeji’s friends, he will always be grateful for everything they do for her.

“So now that the most important item on the agenda is done, how about we watch a movie?” Ryujin suggests when the laughter quiets down.

“Why do I feel like you already have something specific in mind?” Hyunjin scoots closer to the TV console filled with their CDs, DVDs and so on. It’s mostly old, but nonetheless valued, stuff: movies they already watched as kids, their first CDs and music their parents used to listen too.

“Howl’s moving castle,” Yuna suggests. Her face lights up when Yeji squeals in excitement. It’s Yeji’s favourite movie. Or rather their favourite movie, but Hyunjin doubts he really played a role in that choice. While Hyunjin turns to search for the right DVD, Ryujin switches on the TV. Whitin a second, the light atmosphere sours. Hyunjin grows tense when he looks up at the TV and realises why: the news channel that’s currently on is showing a report about yesterday’s Stray Kids attack. Hearing the words of the news lady makes Hyunjin’s blood freeze solid, even though he already checked the reports. Usually seeing the newscast after their missions isn’t this much of a problem – which is not to say it isn’t difficult – but now, with all of Yeji’s friends here, Hyunjin desperately wants to get away from here as soon as possible. How the hell is he supposed to not expose himself in front of everyone when the newsreader is talking about the injured Private?

“That reminds me.” Yuna’s voice sounds like it’s miles away. “I wanted to ask you how things are going with work. Were you at the attack yesterday?”

“No, sadly not. My unit said I need to really prepare myself first. I don’t want to rush things and end up being a burden to them. I want to make sure I’m actually ready before stepping out with everyone else,” Jisu explains.

“Then where were you during the attack?” Chaeryoung chimes in. Hyunjin can feel himself grow more and more and more nervous every time one of them speaks up. His heartbeat is hammering in his ears. He turns his head directs a pleading look at Yeji, hoping that she will be able to help somehow. But judging by her expression, she doesn’t know how to stop the conversation without being suspicious either. The DIT is an important topic for Yeji’s friends and trying to stop them whenever they talk about it or Stray Kids would soon catch the girl’s attention.

“I stayed in the rooms of the investigation team together with a lot of the other new members. Bang Chan and Park Kwangsun were there too. It was so weird to be around them.” Rather than just weirded out, Jisu sounds outright disgusted though. “I mean I know they were questioned by Lieutenant Yoon and all and officially help us now, but it just feels wrong to trust them. They’ve caused so much damage and harm and yet they were sitting there like regular members of the investigation team.”

The words cut through Hyunjin like knives. It’s so easy to forget what the average citizen thinks of Stray Kids when he’s living his regular life. This is like a hit in the face. If that’s Jisu’s opinion on Nine and Kkul – or rather Bang Chan and Park Kwangsun – what would she think of him who’s still out there going on missions? What would all of them think? Hyunjin takes a look at the girls and feels more and more stings in his heart realising that none of them would let him anywhere near Yeji anymore if they had any idea he’s a member of Stray Kids. When he meets Yeji’s gaze, she seems to know exactly what’s going on in Hyunjin’s head. There’s so much sadness in her eyes. A silent “I’m sorry.” hangs between them, which only makes Hyunjin feel worse. Yeji is the last person who should feel sorry for this situation. She’s the one suffering the most knowing that the most important people in her life are pitted against each other.

“I need to go,” Hyunjin blurts out before his brain can even think about it. “Totally forgot. My boss asked me to come in earlier today and help with stocktaking.”

A frown flickers across Yeji’s face but she’s quick to get it under control again. “Do you really have to go? Can’t someone else do it?”

“I’m afraid not. Sorry, ladies.” It’s hard to endure the pitying looks Ryujin, Yuna, Chaeryoung and Jisu give him. Poor birthday boy can’t even enjoy the party because he has to work. They have no idea. They don’t know anything. Hopefully they never will. “I wish you lots of fun, everyone. Don’t do anything stupid. And leave a piece of cake for me.”

Hyunjin quickly goes to his room and throws his door shut, feeling a bit of relief from just being out of the girls’ view. He releases a shaky breath and tries to collect himself. Hyunjin needs to get out of here as quickly as possible, he can’t bear this any longer. The looks, the talking about Stray Kids, everything. Hyunjin grabs his bag, drapes it over his shoulder, strides towards the door.

“Be careful!” Yeji calls when he’s already halfway through the door.

“Will do!” Bam. Silence. Peace. Loneliness. Now that Hyunjin’s alone in the hallway, he can barely hold back the tears any longer. He tries to stay as quiet as possible while hurrying into the elevator. Only when the doors close does he allow himself to really let go. Hyunjin quickly presses as many buttons as possible before letting himself sink to the ground. More and more sobs shake through his body as he hugs his legs to his chest. He has no idea how Yeji was able to handle this situation. All her friends developed a hatred for Stray Kids, or any sort of resistance really, after what happened to her. Hyunjin can’t even imagine how much pain he would be in if all of his friends hated his sister to death.

[-]

On his way home, Seungmin feels nothing but exhausted. Usually meeting up with I.N is fun, even though they have to be careful not to draw any attention towards them. But after yesterday’s events, I.N was still upset and their meeting became draining. Seungmin had hoped hanging out together would lift his spirits a bit, but it hadn’t done much good. Maybe it had been stupid of Seungmin to think cheering I.N up would be that easy. He shot at somebody else just yesterday. It must have been very traumatic for him. Thankfully, by now news has gotten out that the soldier in question is only mildly injured. Seungmin doesn’t want to know what it would do to I.N if he had caused serious or even lethal harm to someone. He can’t imagine what that would have been like for I.N, knowing he risked or much worse took someone’s life.

Despite the meeting with I.N having been rougher than expected, Seungmin doesn’t feel relieved when he’s standing in front of his home. As much as he loves his family, he doesn’t like being around any of them after missions. Every look, every word riles him up, makes him feel like they’re seeing right through him. It’s ridiculous and Seungmin knows it, but that doesn’t stop this horrible feeling from clawing its way into his chest. He doesn’t bother saying anything when he enters the house. Excellent ears run in the family; everyone knows he’s home. Though rather than a voice, the noise of the TV greets Seungmin. It sounds like a newscast. Damnit. Of course, they’re watching the news. They’re always watching the news. Seungmin walks closer to the living room and peaks through the door, feeling a bit relieved when he realizes the report is about some sports team.

“Where were you?” Seungmin’s mother turns around as soon as she notices him. “You said you were going to be home for dinner.” Right, he did say that. Somehow he had completely forgotten about that while he was with I.N.

“I’m sorry. One of my friends is kind of going through a rough time and needed help.” It’s the closest to the truth Seungmin can be. He hates lying, especially to his family, but saying he helped a friend isn’t actually a lie. In a way he and I.N are friends after all. Though a regular person probably wouldn’t consider someone whose name they don’t know their friend. That doesn’t change anything for Seungmin though. The members mean a lot to him, real names or not.

“During the attack, a member of the DIT was injured. According to the officials, the injury is only minor.”

The words make Seungmin freeze up. He hadn’t noticed when the news had moved on to the recent Stray Kids attack. “Uhm,” he stammers, trying to regain his composure. Damnit, he had managed to avoid seeing news about their missions in the presence of his family for so long. Why did exactly this mission have to break the streak? “Leftovers are in the fridge?” Finally, an idea.

“Yes,” Minseo confirms. “We made sure to leave enough for you.” Her smile is so sweet it hurts Seungmin that it doesn’t feel genuine to him right now. It just stresses him out even more. Thinking that his sister knows what’s going on, where he was or with whom is ridiculous. Minseo has no way of knowing he’s part of Stray Kids and if she did she wouldn’t be sitting here so calmly. But Seungmin can’t help it. When it gets to hiding his identity, he sees the worst everywhere.

“Thanks.” Seungmin turns on his heel and heads into the kitchen. He quickly grabs himself some food for himself and runs upstairs. When he reaches his room, he puts everything down on his desk and lets himself plop down on his chair. Seungmin closes his eyes and gathers himself. He’s alone. He’s safe. Nobody knows he’s DaN. Everything is fine. There’s nothing to worry about.

If only it was really that easy.

[-]

“Damn, I thought I was early,” Yeonjun notes while dropping his bag in front of the lockers. He isn’t entirely wrong. Despite going grocery shopping for lack of a better alternative, Hyunjin ended up coming in a lot earlier than needed. The emptiness of the bar was just too appealing to pass up on. This must be the first time he’s been here before Yeonjun; of course that wouldn’t go unnoticed.

“Ah yeah, my plans for the evening got cancelled so I thought I’d come in a little earlier, clean the counter and all.” Hyunjin is aware of how ridiculous his explanation sounds. Who the hell goes to work when they have free time? As expected, Yeonjun doesn’t seem convinced. Not one bit.

“Sure, because what else would you do when you have some time to spare?” Despite his words, Yeonjun doesn’t push it, instead starting to change into his uniform. Hyunjin turns his head away to give Yeonjun some privacy. Well, as much privacy as one can have while changing in a cramped room with another person in it. “Did you already refill the straws and napkins?”

“Yup.” Hyunjin nods even though Yeonjun probably isn’t looking at him. “Everything done.”

“Great, thanks.” Yeonjun walks over to the mirror, fixes a few strands of his auburn dyed hair before turning towards Hyunjin. “Since we have some time left before costumers come and we have no other job to kill time with, are you going to tell me what you’re running away from?” That much on not pushing it. Of course Yeonjun wouldn’t just let it slide.

“I had a fight with my sister,” Hyunjin lies, despite feeling horrible about telling more lies. The fact that he has gotten so used to this makes it even worse. He just comes up with stuff like this on the spot and is able to keep a straight face like it’s nothing. Admittedly, he isn’t always convincing. That’s only a matter of time though. Hyunjin knows he should be grateful for that ability, but he hates it. “I forgot to do the laundry and things kind of… escalated.” At this point, getting to be honest about things that aren’t related to Stray Kids in any way has become a relief. Something as simple as being allowed to mention Yeji already makes things feel a little easier. More normal. It’s so trivial, but Hyunjin enjoys still getting to speak some truth about himself.

Yeonjun nods despite the fact that he doesn’t really seem to buy it yet again. “And you’re hoping that will solve itself if you go to work?”

“Not exactly, but I needed to get out of our apartment,” Hyunjin explains. At the very least, that part is true. He couldn’t have stayed with the girls a single second longer. “Also, by the time I come home she’s going to be asleep. So we’ll have lots of time to calm down and talk about everything again tomorrow.”

Yeonjun shakes his head at Hyunjin’s reasoning. “If you ask me, you should do that laundry before your sister gets up.”

“Yeah, I’ll try.”

Yeonjun changes the rest of the way in silence. When he’s done, they walk over into the main room. It’s still too early for costumers and since Hyunjin already prepared everything there’s not really anything to do. Thankfully the topic of his alleged fight with Yeji stayed in the locker room. Hyunjin really would not have wanted to try and justify this stupid laundry story any longer. Their chatter now is kind of boring, but Hyunjin definitely prefers that over lies and excuses. For lack of a better way to pass their time, he and Yeonjun start examining the bottles on their work surface, checking which of them are close to empty and will have to be replaced soon. The downside of being busy with the bottles is that their conversation dies down, which leaves Hyunjin way too alone with the negative thoughts and memories of the party.

“Hyunjin-oppa! Finally!” Chaeryoung’s voice has never sounded this troubled, at least Hyunjin has never heard her like this. Of course three missed calls and urgent sounding messages weren’t going to be a good sign, but the panic in her voice seems more extreme than Hyunjin expected.

“What’s going on? What happened?” Every rapid heartbeat made Hyunjin even more nervous. Chaeryoung wouldn’t call him like this if it wasn’t serious. She never calls him. She barely even messages him. And since she apparently insisted on calling him specifically, there was only one possible reason. “Is something wrong with Yeji?”

“Yes she-” Chaeryoung gulped as though it was hard for her to speak. Hyunjin couldn’t take the wait, the moment felt like an eternity. “We’re in the hospital. The Red Cross Hospital. Please come here as soon as you can.” Hospital. Yeji was in hospital. Fuck. Hyunjin couldn’t stop the memories from crashing down on him: following the nurse through the hallways, knocking at the big dark door, walking into the sterile room. The images felt like dozens of bricks pressing down on Hyunjin’s chest. He could barely breathe.

“I’m on my way.” His voice sounded choked up, but Hyunjin couldn’t care less. He needed to see Yeji, see if she was fine. Even if it meant going to a hospital. What could have possibly happened? Part of Hyunjin wished that he had asked more questions, but Chaeryoung hadn’t sounded like she was in the right condition for lengthy explanations. Maybe there wasn’t time either. Fuck, Hyunjin needed to hurry.

The ride was hell to say the least. Hyunjin couldn’t stop himself from being nervous and fidgety. It didn’t help one bit that he had just come home from a mission that was now flickering across the screens in the subway. A weird feeling started spreading through Hyunjin when the news lady started talking about civilians getting hurt. That simply wasn’t possible. There were hardly any people around when they attacked, and the DIT was supposed to keep civilians away, so how would any of them get close enough to get injured? It was probably a lie, propaganda against them. That had to be it.

Getting out of the subway and that damned news report made Hyunjin feel a bit better, but only momentarily. Every step towards his destination made his heart race even faster and chest feel even tighter. Hyunjin hated hospitals. A hospital was the last place he wanted to be at, but there was no way around it. He would have to get his act together. For Yeji.

Hyunjin let himself be led into the waiting room by one of the nurses at the front desk, freezing when he saw Yeji’s friends. The girls looked like they had rolled around on the ground of a construction side. Their hair and clothing were covered in dust. Taking a closer look, Hyunjin noticed their reddened eyes, as though they had been crying. He also spotted several band aids on them and other, smaller cuts that weren’t covered. Ryujin had a bandage around her head. Hyunjin guessed all the adults around the girls were their respective parents. He scanned every face in the room, but Yeji wasn’t here. Oh god.

“Oppa!” Chaeryoung got up and jogged towards him. She talked louder than usual; normally her voice was rather quiet. Hyunjin only now realised it wasn’t just panicked, it was almost like she had headphones on and was trying to talk over music.

“What happened?” Sobbing caught Hyunjin’s attention, making him look up to find Yuna crying into her mother’s shoulder. “Where’s Yeji?”

“Stray Kids, they- they attacked the department of education.” No. No that couldn’t be the reason. They were careful. They were always careful. Yeji and her friends weren’t even inside the building; there’s no way they were hit by the explosion. It just couldn’t be. But the evidence was all around Hyunjin. “We were on our way to run some errands when everything blew up behind us-”

“What about Yeji? Is she okay?” Hyunjin could hear the panic in his own voice by now. He just had to know Yeji was okay already.

“I have no idea,” Chaeryoung admitted. Tears started to flood her eyes once again. She couldn’t seem to look up at Hyunjin any longer. “They’re still operating on her.”

“Costumers.”

“What?” Hyunjin’s head snapped up. Gone are the white walls and blindingly bright lights. The room is dark grey, the light subdued. This isn’t a hospital. Thank god. It takes a while until Hyunjin is able to focus on Yeonjun in front of him. “What did you say?”

Yeonjun doesn’t get to answer since he’s already taking some guy’s order. Still feeling a bit fuzzy, Hyunjin checks his watch. 8.03. They’re actually open by now. He must have zoned out for quite a while. As soon as the costumer is sent off with his drinks, Yeonjun turns towards Hyunjin again. “Had a nice time in dreamland?”

“Not really,” Hyunjin admits. The memory is still heavy like chains around his heart. He really tries his best not to remember that day, but sometimes it all just comes crashing onto him. Tonight is going to be anything but pleasant, Hyunjin already knows that. He never sleeps well on days like this, no matter how tired he is after his shift.

Yeonjun steps closer, speaking in a low voice. “Is this still about your sister?”

“Yeah.” Hyunjin takes a look around, making sure the two only costumers they have are far enough away. “I feel so bad for what happened. I should have just done the laundry and not started a fight about it.” Yes, very convincing. He got overwhelmed by the traumatic experience of fighting over household chores.

“Agreed.” Yeonjun smiles and pats Hyunjin’s back. “Hey, I’m sure if you apologise and do the laundry everything will be fine.”

“I guess you’re right…”

“Of course I am,” Yeonjun sounds almost offended Hyunjin would ever assume anything else. “That’s why you listen to your elders.”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes. “You say it as though you’re some 106 year old wise guy of the town. You’re one year older than me.”

“One year can make a lot of difference.” Yeonjun wags his finger in Hyunjin’s face. “Talk to me again in one year and see how much has changed.” Hyunjin tries to think of a comeback, but before his brain can provide him with anything another group of costumers walks in. Yeonjun winks at Hyunjin before going back to the counter and accepting the first order. Sighing, Hyunjin straightens his back, puts his costumer service smile on and starts helping Yeonjun prepare the drinks.

[-]

They’re really getting training now. Somehow just the thought lets a smile bloom on Kwangsun’s face. After all, none of the higher-ups would have agreed on sending them off to missions if they didn’t trust him and Chan, right? Okay, maybe trust is too strong of a word for that, but it’s definitely a good sign. In their situation every little step forward should be celebrated. Especially steps like this.

Kwangsun has a slight skip in his step as he walks into the kitchen, starting to look for stuff he can use to cook dinner for them. Though since they haven’t been grocery shopping in a while, there’s not really a lot to work with. They only have rice and noodles to be precise. Yup, plain rice would make a great celebration meal. Maybe Kwangsun should go grocery shopping? It’s not that late yet, he could go buy more ingredients to cook some proper meal for them. Kimchi jjigae would be awesome. If he’s already out and about, he should buy more than just the ingredients though. Some snacks wouldn’t hurt either. And they’re short on tissues and apple juice. Is there anything else? Kwangsun feels like he’s forgetting something. Don’t they need more shampoo too? Or is it soap? The answer feels within his reach but Kwangsun can’t quite grasp it.

“Chan-ah?” he calls, already leaving the kitchen. There’s no way both of them forgot, right? Plus, Chan might have wishes of his own, which Kwangsun would be happy to fulfil if Chan just replied. Still starved for a reply, Kwangsun walks down the hallway and opens the door to Chan’s room. “I’m going gro-”

Kwangsun freezes in the door frame, completely still. He forgot to knock, which was a mistake. Chan specifically requested it when they moved in. How did he not remember something that simple? Just having come out of the shower, Chan is still shirtless. That by itself really wouldn’t be a big deal if it wasn’t for the long, faint pink lines raking over Chan’s back. Most of them crisscross over his spine at the height of his ribcage, but some extend to his shoulders as well as lower back.

Chan’s entire back is covered in scars.

It only now dawns upon Kwangsun that he’s never seen Chan without a shirt, not even when in the practice room today. How did Chan even manage to change that quickly? And how come Kwangsun hadn’t realized how much Chan must have hurried to hide this? Or questioned how urgently Chan had insisted that Kwangsun knocks whenever he enters his room?

“What the fucking hell are you doing here?!” The aggression in Chan’s voice is so foreign. He’s never sounded like this, not during missions or while discussing plans or anything. Kwangsun’s heart drops to his knees. Chan is scary right now. His jaw is set and his face pulled into a scowl. His gaze has an intensity that has Kwangsun’s throat go dry. This is bad, this is really bad. Chan stumbles backwards and presses himself against his closet while trying to cover himself with the shirt in his hands. The mixture of anger and horror on Chan’s face makes Kwangsun feel like a monster, as though he murdered Chan’s family right in front of his very eyes.

“I’m sorry, I-” Kwangsun can’t seem to form proper words. He honestly has no idea what he would even say except apologising for barging into Chan’s room like that. Though he feels like an apology won’t cut it.

“Get out!” Chan screams, losing his patience. Kwangsun has never heard Chan yell before. “Get the hell out! Leave me alone!” He comes closer as though he’s planning to personally drag Kwangsun out of the room. Kwangsun nods hastily and rushes outside as quickly as possible. His heart is racing like crazy when the door slams shut behind him. The abstract painting on the wall next to Kwangsun trembles with the force of it.

“And fucking knock next time!”

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death2normalcy · 1 year

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Okay, I think I want to start listening to Ateez’s other songs now, but this is going to probably be more slow going than the music videos, especially since I have 5 days of work ahead of me, and I probably won’t listen to much during those days.

But I’ll start this post now and update it as I go, for my thoughts on each song.

(Everything above this was written last weekend, everything below, besides thoughts on songs, was written tonight)

This post only contains my thoughts on their first 2 EPs, and it took me all week, because of the MAMA awards and life. It also contains my thoughts on their new music video/song for Paradigm.

I was going to do more, but it got long, because I never shut up, lmao.

Treasure EP.1: All to Zero

Pirate King - I’m just gonna listen to the songs I’ve already heard again, to get a feel for the song itself and learn who sings what, without the visuals distracting me. I don’t have much new to say about this one, other than that I love that Jongho was like that just, right out the gate. I know a lot of it is skill and hard work, but he’s definitely also very gifted. I will say I also love the background beat (? i don’t know music terms, but i think it’s the beat?), that like...certain sound, I can’t explain it, lol.

Treasure - This isn’t my favorite, but it hasn’t nothing to do with the lyrics or the beat or the singing or any of that. It’s more this style of song, it’s just not my cup of tea. It’s a good song, though, they all sound great. I also really like the chorus.

Twilight - San and then Jongho in the opening part were stunning. Actually, every time they both sing the twilight part. Stunning, especially San.I actually really love this one! I didn’t think it was going to be my cup of tea, again, but then San started singing and then the whole thing just came together for me.

Stay - And they lost me a little bit again, lol. It’s not that they sound bad or anything, they’re great. There’s just something about the lyrics that I don’t love, and it’s hard to explain.

My Way - Okay, I don’t know the exact meaning of the song, I’m just going on what I’m interpreting, but is this a song about them/for the fans kind of song? The lyrics are giving me that, so I’m going with that for this. It’s sweet. Not a song I’ll play on repeat, but good. I especially enjoyed the way Hongjoong raps in the beginning.

Favorite from the EP - Twilight Least Favorite - Stay

Treasure EP. 2: Zero to One

Hala, Hala (Hearts Awakened, Live Alive) - My thoughts haven’t changed too much since I saw the video, honestly. Still a great song, very hype and intense. Also, realizing that I’m in love with Jongho’s vocals. I mean, obviously, that’s a given, and I’ve been super obvious since the beginning, but still.

Say My Name - I’m going to be quite honest, I don’t know how I feel about this one. Not that it’s bad, or anything. Just, I’m finding it hard to pinpoint if I love it or not. That’s okay though, this happened with a lot of Stray Kids songs as well, and I ended up loving some of them a lot more later on. So, it might just need to grow on me.

Desire - This one was interesting. It almost made me dizzy, it’s hard to explain. But I really liked it. It’s clearly meant to be a sexy song, which is something different, but in a good way.

QUICK BREAK. I spent 2 days watching the MAMA awards, and haven’t really been listening to any new songs. But I watched the Paradigm performance video tonight, and I have thoughts

The styling in this was top tier. Great stuff. They all looked so good.

Stand outs for me were Hongjoong, Jongho, and Yunho (!) which is a big deal, because I was struggling to tell him and Yeosang apart (i don’t know why, i’m so sorry). But he was so good in this video! Also, how tall is he exactly? I’m gonna look it up.

6′1″!! goddamn. I’m so used to the short kings in skz, I don’t know what to do with a whole ass 6 feet, lmao.

Anyways, they all did great, loved it!

OKAY. Back to the older songs.

Light - This is another one that I’m unsure of. Not that I dislike it, more like I’m not sure how I feel? There’s something I really enjoy about the vibe I get from it.It makes me think of something very specific, like....a late night date? Like, standing out on the balcony with someone you’re dating and there’s a party inside, but you guys are so wrapped up in each other, you’re just enjoying the evening together in the moonlight. Look, I said it was specific, lmao. It gives me late night date vibes, basically. But I’m just not sure how often I’d listen to on repeat. Still good though.

Promise - I started realizing something about their songs during this one. I’ll put it down below. But as far as this song goes, I love the energy. It’s very exciting, lol. I’m also realizing how much I love Yunho’s voice, he’s becoming another favorite as well. However, ah, I hate doing this. This is another song I probably wouldn’t listen to much. It’s the lyrics with this one, I’m not a big fan of songs with these kinds of themes, it’s hard to explain. I loved the imagery they used, but it’s the theme of the song that I just don’t love.

Favorite - Gonna surprise myself and say Light, actually. I love the late night date vibes.

Least favorite - Promise

I’ll start with my current favorites and positive thoughts!

I am currently really loving Hongjoong, Jongho, and very recently, Yunho, but, as I mentioned a lot with skz in the beginning, I think all the boys are very skilled and talented. I just have personal tastes and this is how mine are skewed, lol.

I’ve only really loved about a third of the songs, but that’s perfectly okay. I’m still early into this. And there’s always a chance that some songs grow on me later on. I didn’t even realize I loved Maniac by Stray Kids the first time I heard it until I realized it was stuck in my head later on, lol.

And now...not negative, but yea. I have a thought.

Okay, let me see if I can explain this well. I want to start by saying this is just my opinion. I love Ateez already, and I’m still very much excited for this journey, I swear.

But there’s something I’m realizing about the songs, and this is just my thoughts on what I’m seeing in the lyrics, and my thoughts are based on my own personal preferences. But they have a lot of songs that are like, to someone? Not necessarily romantic songs, in a sense, but just...there’s a specific vibe some of the songs I’ve heard so far have, and those kinds of songs just are not my personal cup of tea. Mind you, I still think these boys are talented as hell, I’ve already talked about some of my favorites so far, and I’m still early on here, I could end up loving all 8 just as much as I love all 8 Stray Kids members. And much like with skz, there are going to be songs that I just don’t vibe with, even if a lot of other fans do (I don’t love Get Cool or Star Lost, but I’ve seen fans love them, it happens, we all have our favorites)

I’m only saying this, because if anyone is reading these thoughts as I go on, you’re going to notice that I state that I’m not a big fan of songs like this, if they have more in their other EPs/albums. It’s not that I think these songs are bad or awful or the boys sound bad. Just that they give me a certain vibe or they’re a certain style that I am just not a fan of. It’s hard to fully explain what the vibe is, exactly. Sappy? Soft? Not exactly. But yea, just a disclaimer, I guess.

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rottenbrainstuff · 2 years

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Long post: sorry, I’m on mobile, I thought there use to be an option to create a “read more” cut but atm I can’t seem to find it, if it’s still there????

I think Sophie is feeling a little better today… it’s a bit hard to tell because she’s also on kitty morphine atm which makes her a bit groggy.

We still don’t know why she was throwing up so much or why she is losing so much weight, but we’ll worry about that later. The thing that is making her seriously sick atm is just a simple UTI, which is actually great news because that can be quickly treated with antibiotics. Her tests aren’t 100% complete but the vet thinks the meds they gave me will be effective, and they’ll let me know once the panel is complete if they need to be switched. This morning she was a bit picky about her food, but last night she ate and drank quite a lot. This morning she was showing some normal behaviours, vocalizing normally, so I’m hoping she is on the mend.

It’s a bit ominous to hear the vet talk about how they have to run tests to see which antibiotics her bacteria is sensitive to. Bit of an ominous reminder how much of an issue resistant bacteria is becoming. Here’s a PSA, because I have had GROWN ASS ADULTS tell me to my face they break each of these rules:

-take the entire course of antibiotics as instructed. Don’t stop taking them even if you feel better. If you stop, there may be a few bacteria left, and these bacteria are the hardiest ones that took the longest to kill, and now these ones will multiply. You are selectively breeding resistant bacteria if you do this. Take the entire course as instructed to make sure you kill everything. The time frame of your treatment isn’t arbitrary, it’s the length it is for a reason, just goddamned follow the doctor’s instructions.

-antibiotics are ONLY for BACTERIAL INFECTIONS!!! They will not do shit for a cold or “stomach flu” or anything else. Yes I know maybe in X other country you can get antibiotics over the counter and you are free to take them whenever you want to, but please understand this is NOT good. Taking an antibiotic if you do not specifically have a bacterial infection is going to do fuck all, except needlessly upset your digestive system and selectively breed more resistant bacteria.

-please do NOT take other people’s medications, and I can’t believe people have told me they do this. You should NOT take your cousin’s leftover antibiotics (which they should not have to begin with if they fucking took their doses like they were supposed to) for your “stomach flu” or what the fuck ever. First of all you need to go to the goddamned doctor and confirm what you have is bacterial, because see note number two, and second of all, even if you DO have something bacterial, your friend’s leftover, maybe expired, medication might not work against the strain you have, and even if it does work, it’s probably not going to be a long enough course, so see note number one. Just go to the FUCKING DOCTOR for the love of god and follow their instructions.

I know this is Canada where it’s free to see a doctor… I’ve heard people in other countries defend their decision to do some of the above by saying they had to because they could not afford proper doctor care and a prescription. Well, I mean, I really do sympathize with this situation, but I don’t really know what to say. Resistant bacteria is becoming a serious issue that we need to start taking very seriously. It is completely realistic that we will reach a point in our lifetimes where we no longer have effective antibiotics, and our research into alternative treatments is not keeping up with the rate that our medications are becoming useless. If you can’t afford to use antibiotics properly well… I guess don’t worry, because there may soon come a point where there aren’t any antibiotics in the first place.

So anyways yeah. There’s an update!

#PSA

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coldvampire · 2 years

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sdffhghjhdgfhghgfhghdgfhghj ive been trying to work on this fic update for weeks but goddamn lmao i just. i am STRUGGLING which is ??? bc i still like it im still enthusiastic abt the project i simply feel like thats an unpopular stance and at this point im just getting embarrassed to keep posting my writing when the notes are just. me trying to reblog for exposure fdggh no one is obligated to ofc i know that but that post thats like ‘numbers arent everything but if you spent six hours on a cake that no one ate you might be more than a bit disappointed’ is extremely fucking real & im already having a hard time trying to convince myself im not universally disliked as-is tell me why people stop talking as soon as i contribute to the gc without fail like. every time i want to contribute i delete what i typed out bc i physically cant take this happening over and over again i dont know what i did wrong or what im doing wrong but clearly it was Something im just too stupid to figure out what. someone i am begging on my knees please explain what it is about me that repels people after a bit of time what do i lack just tell me so thats not helping either.

im also trying v hard not to infodump about other interests at the moment bc once again. embarrassing as hell i just keep thinking abt how annoying i am rn to litcherally everyone esp when i want to talk about obscure shit no one but me is into so it feels even worse lmao. & having someone ask out of obligation feels patronizing bc i know theyre not interested about hearing about the thing its just pity. ive been the pity/obligation person my whole life and i Hate it i hate just being tolerated i hate feeling like nothing i say actually matters in the conversation and like everyone is just waiting for me to stop talking i hate the way i can see people’s eyes glaze over and how they dont even notice if i cut myself off mid sentence theyre just glad ive finally finished talking. im so deep in it im actively trying to start up some sort of maladaptive fantasy where i can to talk Guilt Free about stuff but hgjhkjj im also struggling to conceptualize a universe where thats a thing lmao i cant enjoy my comfort characters bc they would also find my ass grating gfhgh like straight up i know they wouldnt like me thinking abt that is actually just making me feel worse lmao i hate it here

ive spent so much time in my own head lately just Spinning tf out and overanalyzing every sentence i type or speak and still somehow managing to fuck up in spite of that. like its not about the fic!! its not about the fic! and i know its not bc im still working even if its slowly. really truly is not just about the fic but thats something i guess more acceptable to complain about bc at least people kinda understand that frustration even if its cringe to vent about but at LEAST. its better than this. also ive taken care of all my basic needs for the day so ive confirmed that im not just deprived of sustenance or some shit gfhgj no ive truly just been feeling like this for weekssss on end now and im so tired. i already typed a version of this in my private server (its basically just like a journal/reminder set up for myself, very convenient & gives me the illusion of replies temporarily gfhgjh) and that wasnt enough so hopefully posting here just alleviates it a bit

#this is literally so stupid but i feel like im going to combust so.

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survivor-marieta-islands · 8 months

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Episode 2: "that way lies ruin - and all sorts of Greek tragedy type shit"—eman

Sin Sazonar

Clefford

Before I go to the most chaotic tribal so far, let me just say that I'm so sorry for not giving any updates for the past few days.

Having this set of cast with me, I know that this will be hard as I don't really know most of them and know that we all played in this ORG.

Immediately, Hairie, Arvin and I made an instinct alliance that as Asians, we must stick together. Tanner on the other side, we know each other outside this org, had discussions about Survivor and such. I don't really have to put much effort on Adeline, because we played together in my first season, Racoon City. I had to put effort into getting to know Brandi and Shawn. I think I have enough connections for them to work with me. I think Trinica knew that they needed me here as their shield (how assuming of me). Same with AJ.

Now let's get into the exciting part, our first tribal.

A lot of names had been thrown around including mine: Tanner, Hairie, Adeline, and Zee's.

I was the one pushing Tanner, but when I opened the discussion to some, they didn't want to, especially AJ. And then, this was so funny. Tanner came to me that AJ's the one pushing his name. I also tried to lowkey push Shawn's name, but then again, they didn't want to. I was trying to make the first tribal an easy vote but they didn't listen.

The next day, Zee and Hairie came to me. They spilled a lot of tea including AJ's spreading misinformation about Zee, Hairie's theory that Adeline was the one pushing his name, hence making a conclusion on that call that we must eliminate Adeline. I also confronted Zee on that call if it was true that she made a non-men alliance (Trinica spilled it to me) and she said that she tried but didn't push through.

Loving people like me can't go with the Adeline plan, so I immediately told her that I was hearing her name. I talked to almost everyone that I don't want Adeline out.

Surprisingly, Adeline put AJ and Zee on the hot seat in the main chat. It was chaotic. I was loving the drama. Adeline was blaming Zee for pushing her name and trusted the non-men alliance, but as far as I know it was Hairie. Good for him. On the confrontation, they also talked about who ratted the information about the non-men alliance (which Trinica's doing telling me). Hahaha!

AJ and Zee tried to put me in that conversation by telling everyone that I was telling that they were a threat being twins. Which was actually true, by the way, but well, nice try to you both but I handle that very well by saying that it was more of an appreciation.

In the end, all the heat went to Zee having 9-1 and her voting for me.

Shawn

I'm gonna be honest, ever since Zee got voted off, everything has been a LOT more chill. Our team is taking the time off we deserve and relaxing while the other team has to vote one off. The new challenge seems to be one we'll be good at! We have a few people saying they can help already. Also, everyone seems to still really like me, which is good. I'm trying not to get on anyone's bad side.

Well that was chaotic. After a lot of drama I think I may actually be in an alright position? The Shhhh alliance makes four. If I can keep Tanner with us that’ll be five. And maybe that’s good? I’m probably a swap boot but honestly I just didn’t want to be the first boot. Now I am hoping to make jury but also, who isn’t. Goodnight, hopefully we don’t have to attend another goddamn tribal council.

Ok some more thoughts. Last round got crazy, some people seemed to think the Zee and I being twins thing was a joke, some people were like, why vote for Zee she’s ur twin just work together. Zee made a non-men alliance and didn’t ask half of the members if that was a good idea. Like hello clearly anything said there would be leaked to Hairie bc of Brandi like??? They’re obviously tight.

Anyway I was trying to get Zee out because I was trying to treat her like a stranger I’d never played with before instead of allowing twin sentimentality to kick in. And if she were a stranger I would not have trusted her one bit. She was willing to turn on anyone even if they were an ally in order to save herself, she was leaking information from an alliance that she made (but let’s be real the real leakage is definitely Brandi I mean cmon), and was just generally playing messy and untrustworthy. So I wanted her gone - twin thing be damned.

(Zee if ur reading this ily and no hard feelings, ur a threat ok you were eliminated bc u were playing too hard <3)

Now idk what the actual fuck is happening this round. This challenge is deceptively simple and I have a feeling we’re going to lose. Unless there’s some miracle we’re absolutely fucked here. My only hope is idol hunting - I really really want to find an idol at some point, I’ve never found one in any ORG before and it’s a bucket list item ok. Trinica says her tunnel was different than mine, not sure if I can believe her or not (probably not), but we shall see. I think I might know where an advantage or potentially the idol is, so I’m gonna grab gear from a place Hairie said gear was and pray that tomorrow I can idol hunt and find a friggin idol.

My current score is 740 something in my practice for this challenge. My fingers hurt and my skype hates me. Nevertheless we persevere. Trinica got like 900 though and thought it was a low score, we agree that Raffy probably got a crazy high score. (Read: we stand no chance against that tribe in this type of challenge with the kind of tribe that we have) - but one can hope. I’ll probs have another update after my challenge and after the results.

Arvin

Wohoooo! We won the challenge. I'm gonna enjoy the night off since I've been busy at work and some errands to attend to. I'm glad that we pulled off a win, I really had a hard time doing the challenge since don't have a computer but yeah, we did it. So proud of our tribe. Huhu. Thank you. ☺️

Brandi

Okay I really thought we were gonna lose the typing challenge, I was very concerned. Also it broke my Skype lol

Tanner

I helped my tribe Win immunity and I’m relaxing and getting to know some on my tribe

Trinica

Well, well, fuck me well... we actually won! I'm a little nervous still for future challenges because we VERY nearly lost and Tanner's score was way lower than anyone else on the tribe. But who knows, maybe we can make this a winning streak?

As far as the idol hunt goes, it's a bust so far. I went to the mine shaft and all I got was a gear pack and this lousy tribe callout. AJ has finally learned to be a little less forthcoming, but it's to my detriment. I think she's lying to me about where she's gone and I had to give her a stern talking-to about trust earlier. Did it work? Only time will tell.

Hairie continues to be chaotic, he's sharing idol hunt info in tribe chat for literally no reason. But as of now we have a tentative trust. I'm in an alliance with everyone but Adeline, Clefford and Tanner at this point. I really wanna work with Adeline but I think she's close with Clefford so I'm keeping her at arm's length.

Anyway, I'm as excited as a pig in mud to have the day off from tribal tomorrow.

Adeline

Okay so i made a whole video confessional that I’ll post soon about last round, but TDLR: non men alliance fell to the ground immediately as it so often does, i am trying to gain back hairie and Cleffords trust as well as get in with Trinica and Brandi who’ve both expressed liking me but idk how much further that goes

Brandi

BATH alliance forever 🛁 but also like……. I’m glad to have people to talk through the idol hunts with. There are so many options and I’m so nervous

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG SCREAMINGG

I simply can not even (read: I just found a hidden immunity idol)

Hairie

youtube

Trinica

Having the day off is actually so boring! I'm going to make a prediction about the other tribe:

I think Raffy, Steven, and Colin will be working together. eman may or may not be in the mix there. Amy and Raffy may be working together too. And Ellie! I'm gonna say Maddison or JG is going home tonight.

Antigua

Raffy

So Ellie created the “chaos CREw” alliance which includes Colin and I. We’re definitely not the Final 3, but I figure between the three of us we should be able to make it pretty far. I trust that these two will at least help me make it to merge for the time being.

JG and I had an hour long call just getting reacquainted. He affirmed to me that he would like to work with me in this game as he thinks we work well together. I believe that’s true, but I don’t know how JG is going to benefit my game in the future. I’ll keep him close for now as it’s always nice to have a number, but I’m not sure how close or loyal I’ll be. Maybe he can be fodder if people start coming after me.

Right now, it feels like Maddison is the easy vote on this tribe which sucks. I hope I can push it to Eman because I want to see what Maddison can do in this game. Hopefully I can help her out if we go to tribal.

Colin

I’m so shocked Zee left. Definitely not who I expected to be first boot. Not sure what type of tomfoolery was happening on the other tribe. Maybe that’ll set the tone for the rest of the game.

eman

I am finding myself too comfortable here, which means that I can't be comfortable because something's obviously going to go wrong - that's just the way it is. I'm Sibyl, prophetess of doom & gloom. Things can only go well for so long. You can never be comfortable.

And we certainly can't gloat. Oh, we will not gloat. Because that way lies ruin - and all sorts of Greek tragedy type shit.

Anyway, I also got to thinking about horror films and stuff because of the tribe chat, and I don't like monsters (unless it's Wednesday and then I'm all over it). But I'm certainly all over inner demons.

And I'm also a huge fan of Hitchcock and psychological torment, which is even more fun when you realize that my mom started showing me his films when I was a wee child of 10 (and we can unpack that at a later date, okay folks).

Anyway, all of this got me to thinking that this game is "Rope." It's a closed set - all of the drama, all of it is taking place in a single rome, but we are being manipulated by phone calls coming in from outside. Our illustrious host.

And I'd like to imagine myself Jimmy Stewart.

That is all.

I love being a bitter little bitch I do it every day ;)

Jinx

SCREAMSSSSSSSS

EMAN KINDA ATE THIS UP

Raffy

Yesterday, Jinx and Ellie decided that they already want to give me anxiety. Jinx has been suspecting that Steven has an idol from doing Survivor Trivia since it was a hero challenge. And now they just straight up asked Steven if he had one. Meanwhile, Ellie is straight up asking Colin about where to find the metal detector (despite the fact he could only search once like the rest of us). Listen, I love them to death, but I want to win this game and those two are just going to keep doing off the wall things. And I’ll automatically be associated with those things since I’m sure people already see us as a duo. So I hope that in any upcoming tribe swap, I can be put on a different tribe so that I can build relationships outside of that so I have some cushion when they inevitably self implode their games and get voted out. And also I really don’t want to have to vote them out.

Also I found a ring in the idol hunt that I have to keep until merge so wish me luck.

Maddison

hell fire light the matches… y’all ever heard that saying

Amy

Not us losing when they had someone score 80 ☠️

tbh I have been so not online idk where to even begin. At this point I just hope it's not me.

I would like it known that I counted to a respectable 650!! but got bumped because I was the median!! Anyways now we have to go to stinky tribal and i’m not too happy about it because who tf do I vote for? This whole tribe has been a vibe so far everyone is very fun and chill and also very good at being old! I’m feeling really good about my connections right now with most people so I don’t think it’s me going but that’s kind of a famous last word round these here parts so I guess anything is possible. Stay tuned for more funny little ramblings with Zo!

Amy

I woke up and in my delirium named the alliance of me, jinx, and raffy "cabbage patch birthing tree" so that's where we're at.

Raffy

Last night, so much happened. Colin Ellie and I decided that we should go after Eman since Colin and I don’t trust her to have our backs at merge. We feel she would just work with the New School people immediately. Then, I talked to Steven just casually on a call. He brought up working with Colin and Ellie. And that’s all I really needed from Steven. So I made a four person alliance called 4 1/2 Brain Cells. Steven also agreed that Eman should be the one voted out. Meanwhile, I talked to JG and Jinx separately confirming their votes for Eman. I already dropped her name to JG on our call. And Jinx brought up suspicions of Eman. They felt that Eman is the leader of a huge alliance with Colin, Steven, JG, and Zo. Obviously that isn’t true, but I sort of egged it on only so Jinx can target Eman. I tried to get Jinx to trust Colin, but it seems they just don’t. Colin is going to have to work on them. But, I do have an alliance with Amy and Jinx that Amy created. This is a solid alliance for me outside of the 4 1/2 brain cells group. But I’m sure Colin probably assumes that this group exists so I have to show so much loyalty to them so they don’t rat me out. Anyways, I egged Jinx on and now they might be targeting Eman. Ellie says they can get both Maddison and JG on board. What they don’t know is that JG is already on board. All that’s left are Zo and Amy, but I think Amy would be down if Jinx brings it up and Zo would be down if everyone was doing it.

Ellie

You listen to someone talk about their ww2 novella and suddenly they call you inactive and want to vote you out. tsk tsk

Raffy

I think I've chilled a lot from last night. Last night, I was making moves against Eman left and right. Today, I am just sort of letting my allies talk to other people for me and getting the numbers. Now, before I even talk to people, they are already bringing up Eman's name. I think the plan is set atm, but anything can change. I do not think I will be the one getting votes tonight regardless.

Jinx told me that Eman was testing Colin by telling him that the vote was Ellie or Maddison. Colin failed, but it is interesting that Eman would have worked with Jinx, Colin, and Amy. I basically want to be Eman in that scenario. So, I think Eman going is good for me game now because we kind of want to be in the same spot but we can't both occupy that spot.

Jinx is starting to distrust Colin and Steven a lot. I hope in a tribe swap scenario, they are separated so that I do not have to worry about them turning on each other. I can't have my allies make me choose a side too early. Plus, I don't even know what side would be best to go on.

I made some inroads with both Zo and Maddison today. I think I am in a really good spot now. If my tribe does go to tribal again, I really need to sit back and have them choose who to go and not fight it. Otherwise, I leave myself open to being exposed. So we have to activate chill Raffy from now on.

youtube

Steven

Time to play my favorite game, am I stressing out and overthinking OR am I right about everything. Sadly I won't find out for another couple of hours so I will just sink into my anxiety-induced stress.

So one of the fun things I've done is get into an alliance with Colin, Ellie, and Raffy. One of the main reasons that I'm doing it is because of my previous game and people assumed that I was working with my friends when all of us were trying to actively not do that. Since that was one of the reasons the target went onto our back we decided to actually make it a reality. Why not if they bring it up and have them be right instead of us getting an unneeded target onto our backs. This also leads us to our main target for this round since we flopped and lost the challenge by 10 points, Eman. I wasn't planning on targeting them at first but from the info that I have been told and based on previous results of the last few times we have played, there is no reason for me to not target them. Raffy informed me that she was throwing out both his and my names as people "that shouldn't make it far since they will probably win the game". I find that hard to believe for myself since I haven't been able to make it past early merge in the last couple of games and I am really good at being a losing finalist then a winning one. Whatever though cause whatever their reasoning is doesn't matter to me cause the moment you decide you want to put a target on my back is the same time my sights get locked onto you.

Despite that new info, it doesn't seem like my name is being thrown around. It seems like the main ones are Eman, Maddison, and Ellie. Found out though that the Ellie and Maddison target was actually a test for Colin from Eman. I find that to be a pretty weird thing to do for our tribe's first tribal. It seemed to be a test before she makes an alliance of Amy, Colin, Eman, and Jinx. Guessing that isn't happening anymore. Cause Colin failed the dreaded test it means that supposedly now Colin is the target for Eman. Not sure how much I trust that since now Eman has targeted every member of my alliance in some way. Hopefully, we can get 2 more votes for a majority and take Eman out.

I am hoping we are in the majority and voting correctly, but if not I think I aligned with a group of people that would be more chaotic and larger targets than me. I'm hoping to shrink myself into a little man and just bob and weave my way into a swap or merge situation. Like the tribes are pretty even when it comes to comps so once we get over this hump we can just start getting on a roll and win. If I do leave tonight I don't know how I would feel. I don't want to get into that mindset so I will just leave that there. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully, it has me being in a better situation.

Maddison

hi hello party people, today was full of stress frfr?? but also, fun!! survivor ilysm, brilliant game concept. okay anyways, uhhh lowkey jay came out subtly swinging with the tribal questions bahah. i need a better poker face i legit cannot stop grinning during tribal. today was wild i will reassess tomorrow and provide an update. this bitch is exhausted okay byee

eman

Because I like to put things in little boxes

(little boxes made of ticky tacky)

RIDE OR DIE Amy, Colin, Jinx

CLOSE(ISH) Raffy, JG

WISH THEY WERE CLOSER, DUDE, WHATUP? Steven, Zo, Maddeline, Ellie

Which means that there's no GOOD way this vote can go.

No good way.

Albeit, I am kinda tempted to subdivide that last group a little bit further, but I shant. (yet)

Boxes and compartmentalization are good.

And safe.

Says the person who likes a movie about people who put people in boxes during cocktail parties.

#episodes #Youtube

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