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diluclover300 · 3 months

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Just One Week (5)

Gojo Satoru x Female Reader

CHAPTER INDEX:

I H8 U

My Kinda Fun

Balance

{S] Awake

Eggs and Rice

Wait, but I'm broke

Couple's Discount

CHAPTER 5: Eggs and Rice

also posted on my ao3 account: diluclover300

...

It's the crack of dawn, and Satoru hasn't been able to sleep ever since he's committed such a heinous, indecent act of jerking off on your beloved couch.

The birds chirp and yap outside the windows of your kitchen and he's finally defeated. He won't try to fall asleep anymore, it's already set in stone that he can't, that he won't be able to. Even if his eyes roll out of their sockets.

Anyway, he was able to clean up after himself last night, like any decent guest would, and he's even put the blanket up for washing. Great, he's washing away his guilt.

With a slight stretch, and a large frown at his dirtied blindfold, Satoru shoves his sunglasses on instead. It's what he's decided on wearing from now on, because there's no way he's using a pair of sunglasses as a way to satisfy his sexual desires.

Never again, he decides, swears to himself as he carefully roams down the halls of your cozy apartment. He will never jerk off to the thought of his beloved childhood friend again. It was in the heat of the moment, he was just horny and now he won't ever do it again. Never.

Speaking of you, he peeks through the crack of your door, and of course, you're still sound asleep. It's five in the morning, so he plans on waking you up at six instead. It's his way of apologizing for, well, fantasizing about his wonderful, erm... friend– host.

Right. You hate him so you're not exactly friends. He foolishly forgets that your friendship is currently one-sided, and it sort of hurts, however, he'll entertain your hatred if it makes you feel better about the life that you lived now.

That nine-to-five office job, the rotting in your bed after work lifestyle. You say it brings you peace. Tranquility.

Though, he wonders if it's true. If you actually love what you're doing, if you're happy about the choices you've made. Was that office job really doing such wonders for you?

It looks as to him that you haven't slept in years with the way you curl up against your bed, clenching onto your blanket with all the strength you can muster.

That glum expression on your face which seems to fall on your features quite often has vanished in your slumber.

Your eyelashes touch the bottom of your eyelids, and you take in soft breathes from your slightly parted lips, still dressed in the same, sweaty clothes from yesterday.

Maybe he would've helped you change. If the idea itself wasn't so thought-provoking. He'll put it in decent terms.

Besides that, the sight is a bit endearing. You act all put together, but really, you get like this too. Those light gray stains of sweat underneath your armpits, showing that you've worked way too hard yesterday. The frizz of your hair, how it covers your features and gets in the way of your steady breaths. Your swollen feet and bunched up toes, probably due to the fact that those black flats were probably awful to walk in with zero support whatsoever.

Oh, and then there's also the food stains riddling on your shirt and lips. That was because he was trying to feed you an egg sandwich from those insanely cheap vending machines, but you kept acting like a slob. Next time, he'll make sure to buy a bib along with those bouquet of flowers if he decides to make a surprise visit ever again. It was a little embarrassing to watch.

You let out a small sigh, interrupting his very long, unusually slow train of thought.

He should get going now. There was no reason for him to be lounging around in your room. You'd hate it.

Nonetheless, when he turns to step out of your room, you mumble in your sleep for the millionth time, and without fail, he falls for it as he freezes in his tracks.

It's a tired groan, then you say, "Gojo, it hurts."

There you go again. He sighs.

He'll let you wake up on your own accord.

...

You feel like shit as the sun begins to blind you from the windows.

Your lips open and then close, tasting your unwashed tongue, licking your dry lips as your sweaty skin dampens along your tight shirt. You're disgusting, stained the pillow besides you with dried up drool.

When you roll around in bed, glancing to the clock next to you, your eyes widen. It's six thirty, you're about an hour late to your job.

An hour late. Something you've never done.

Your hands scramble across your nightstand for your belongings before you get a whiff of your damp armpits.

Shit. You're foul, in desperate need for a shower.

Without much thought, you grab a pair of black slacks and another button up white shirt. Holding it to your nose, you decide it's clean enough before you rush into the bathroom, deciding to use the jacket wrapped around your waist as a blazer.

...

You rush down the halls of your house, a backpack slung on one of your shoulders as you stuff your phone into your pocket.

"Shit." You glance at your watch, over and over as if you're hallucinating. It is seven in the morning. Now you're an hour and a half late.

I'm so screwed.

You dash to the kitchen as your stomach caves in and growls, suddenly met with the smell of fresh rice and eggs.

You hear a bit of whistling, so you search for the source, and when it dawns on you, when you trace the source, it's–

White hair, black uniform, round sunglasses...

Hey. Was it just you, or do you so not remember inviting your arch nemesis over for breakfast?

"Oh, you're up? Already?" You must be seeing things, because there was no way in hell you would actually invite Gojo Satoru over. There was no way you'd be in a six feet radius within him. Impossible.

As your backpack falls onto the floor, you try to jog your memory. Retracing your memories from yesterday, you clearly remember getting your ass beaten on some rooftop.

Oh, yeah. You remember now. This was your fault. If you hadn't lost that fight then he wouldn't be here right now.

Your legs, which you haven't taken note of until now, are throbbing in sheer pain.

"Good morning." He smiles, damn cheeky as he does with a sickening, sweet voice. You pinch yourself to make sure this isn't some kind of nightmare. "I made breakfast."

No, you have unfortunately remembered things correctly.

If only you had won last night. Then you wouldn't have to watch as Gojo Satoru smiles at you with every fiber of his being, as if his presence doesn't make you feel sick to your stomach.

"Morning." You grumble, the aches in your body more prominent when you recall those unflattering memories of last night.

He's sporting one of your aprons, damn it, and he places a prim and proper plate onto your small, old dinner table before taking the cloth right off of him.

"Eat up, we have so many things to do today, yeah?" He clatters two pairs of chopsticks onto the table before he sits down to eat.

"I.. uh–"

It's a plate of rice with an omelette over it, like one of those videos you've seen on social media. Except it's got a smiley face of ketchup drawn on the top of it.

You watch with a frown as Gojo takes a nice bite of egg and rice, lazily holding his chopsticks in the air. Soon enough, he stares right back at you, raising an eyebrow.

"What're you wearing?" He swallows, cheek pressed against his hand as he studies your figure.

It's the same kind of shirt from yesterday, although new, but you're wearing dress pants instead of a skirt. How professional, you look like a prim and proper employee.

"I thought I was going to work, but then I remembered that you..." A long sigh, one of mental and physical exhaustion. "You were here."

Satoru kind of misses the skirt, though, and the way his jacket from yesterday was wrapped around it. Now you're holding it in-between your arms, cradling it like a baby.

"Is that my jacket?" His own, rather special memories of last night waltz in, and he clears his throat. "It doesn't suit you."

"As if, why would I have your jacket?" You scoff, looking down at the article of clothing, then the short-sleeved black shirt he's currently wearing. "That's ridiculous."

Okay, maybe he wasn't wearing just a shirt yesterday, but you sure as hell weren't holding his jacket right?

Right?

"Hm." He pokes at his food, scraping another grain of rice off his plate. "Oh, I must be..."

He doesn't know why he's just letting you hold it. He feels bare without the thing, like a part of his soul has been ripped out of him.

"I must be remembering things wrong.." A lie. That's his jacket, he's wrapped it around you right as you passed out. He's just letting you have it.

"Okay." Thank God, it wasn't his.

Without realizing it, you let out a deep, prolonged sigh of relief before folding up your make-shift blazer and hanging it onto the back of your designated chair. For a second, you almost thought that you were going to be late for work, but no, you vaguely remember calling your boss last night before Gojo did his ceremonial forehead flick. Only then did he let you regain consciousness, and that was only for the purpose of burdening you.

Instead of working a nine-to-five, you were some kind of pretend-play, unpaid tour guide. Gojo's personal tour guide. What a complete and utter nightmare. It gives you goosebumps.

You reluctantly sit down, convinced by the smell of the food, even though you're eyeing it like it's rat poison.

Grabbing your chopsticks, Satoru tries to fight off the tug of his lip when you stab into the center of the Omelette. Talk about violent. Then you stubbornly ate, shoving rice and eggs down your throat as if you were being forced to eat. It's a sight he hasn't seen in five years. Seeing you eat was weirdly euphoric. He guesses he'll have to grow used to that. You know, since he'll be eating at least twenty-one meals with you over the course of the week. He did the math.

Fine. You don't want to say it out loud and you never will, but the man could cook. Rice and eggs at least. Gojo Satoru could do the bare minimum. It's a secret you'll take to the grave.

Satoru blinks. He's sort of in awe. You eat well, sort of fast too. It doesn't even take another minute before you're patting your lips clean, plate as white as he first saw it in the cupboard.

"So? Did you like–"

"How did you find my address?" Oh? Nice save, you think to yourself. You're able to avoid the question you desperately do not want to answer by interrupting with a question of your own.

Gojo sighs, placing his chopsticks down on his plate. You don't beat around the bush, he realizes as he folds his legs underneath the table. And you won't let him hear what he wants to hear. You're cruel.

"The Internet." He shrugs, pulling out his phone to further prove his point. There was nothing on the screen but your reflection. "I did my research."

You roll your eyes. Yeah, right, as if anyone could ever find your address on the Internet.

"Okay. What about my workplace?"

It's question after question with you. You're one curious girl, he'll give you that.

"Same thing. You have that LinkedIn page." He folds his arms, phone resting on the table.

Fair. That was plausible. You were job hunting a lot back in the day.

"Anything else you'd like to ask?" Gojo Satoru says as he gets up from the table, fetching yours and his plate. He can't believe he's just letting you push him around like this. He's the star of the show after all, your respected guest whether you liked it or not. "You seem awfully curious about what I've been up to."

Ha. Curious? You were curious about Gojo Satoru?

"You're just imagining it. I could care less." Your lips tug downward at the thought.

"It's I couldn't care less, but..."

Gojo pauses as he grabs your plate, stopping to lean in your face and taunt.

"... I guess you really do mean what you're saying."

Your eyebrows furrow, an appalled look slapping onto your rather deadpan expression.

"W...what does that mean?"

No answer. You're left basking in your own humiliation as he walks off into the kitchen. He's got you good, and you absolutely despise being left speechless, mind scrambling for something to shoot back at him, like you're just now learning how to aim your gun.

Gojo whistles to himself as he turns on the water of your kitchen's faucet. It's a loud sound as it rains down on your own overdue pile of dishes from last week.

The splashes and inconsistencies of the water's sound cause you to snap up from your seat, remembering that you so don't want him to see how disgustingly lazy you've been without anyone around to shame you for it.

"Hey..." His eyes widen at the absolute eyesore, pausing to turn back at you. "Why is there–"

"Shut up, okay?" You huff out, almost bumping into him as you reached over him.

"Okay. My lips are shut."

Huh? When did you get so close? He wonders as your shoulders brush against each other, the cloth of your arm grazing the warmth of his skin. It's been a while since he's felt this. A long while, he thinks as he looks down at you, the sunlight from the blinds shining onto the skin of your face, then your eyes and eyelashes.

The breath he was about to take in stops, every second becoming slower than the last.

Hm? What's this? What's this feeling?

He can't bring himself to make a single sound. Why was he listening to you?

What's wrong with him? You're just standing there, searching in the drawers besides him. You're not doing anything else, other than scrunching your eyebrows together and mumbling something to yourself. So why couldn't he just breathe? Why?

Satoru feels a bit unlike himself.

"Move." You sigh, trying to swallow down the embarrassment as you force your silicone dishwashing gloves down your wrists. "I'll do it, they're mine–"

"Ah, really? Thanks." He backs up almost immediately, holding back a sigh of relief, but masking it with a smile. "You do that then, I'll, uh..."

"I'm gonna go wash up, yeah?"

Wait, is he going to use your shower? You haven't picked up your pile of clothes yet–

"Hey, wait, I..."

Your voice trails off as you watch him scurry off into the hallway, realizing that you've fallen for another one of his sneaky tricks. The man's done it on purpose, so that you're the one stuck doing your own dishes.

You look at the mountain of plates and pots, the image already making your back and shoulders ache. Immediate dread follows.

Damn it, you're acting like his servant already, and the day has barely started.

...

#ao3 #archive of our own #ao3 writer #ao3feed #ao3 fanfic #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x y/n #jjk gojo #eventual smut #fanfic #romance #friends to lovers #enemies to lovers #y/n x character #eventual romance #angst #drama

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hubbie22 · 3 years

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Here is an ask well half an ask from the lovely @meddowscrl please don’t hate me 🥺 I just can’t do happy endings. I tried, I just couldn’t. I can only do angst. I like to suffer ~nervous laughter intensified~ Also, please excuse the writing, I have a respiratory infection and am heavily medicated.

You were happy, weren’t you?

“I want a divorce.”

You stare at him, you had only asked if he wanted to change the drapes. And the answer, turned your world upside down. He had been your boyfriend since 1968, your husband since 1972 and yet with one sentence he was now nothing.

“The drapes, I just wanted to change the drapes.” You mutter out like a hapless child.

“We haven’t been good for months.” He looks at you, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses.

“We haven’t?” Since when haven’t you two been good? Since when haven’t you two shared one brain cell? That was news to you.

Roger stands firms, flicking his long hair back. “No, Y/N.” He sighs, “We haven’t been us for months.”

“Is there someone else?” You look at him, searching for something. “You promised me. You promised me.” The words come out like a chant or mantra, what you held onto when he was on the road. A promise from another lifetime ago.

He sighs, as if he wants to tell you the truth. But he looks at you, and he sees the brokenness he caused. And he can’t bare to make it worse. So, he lies.

“No.”

You walk past him, and he grabs your hand and you think for a moment he will tell you he change his mind. But he hasn’t, and you tear yourself away from him trudging up the staircase.

“Y/N, this has been a long time coming. I’m not happy…. I’m not happy with you anymore.”

“A long time coming for who?” You can’t even look at him while you are packing your things. Most of which, he bought you. So, you only bring what you can into this relationship with yourself. “For you? Because I was happy.” There are tears streaming down your face, like a waterfall, “And I thought we were happy, it’s news to me that we aren’t. And that’s we haven’t been for sometime. Or maybe that you haven’t been.”

You sit across from him in a London high-rise, a wood table between you two and armed with a divorce lawyer. It happened fast, or maybe you were out of it the last few months.

You looked over at Roger, his hair was shorter the last time you saw him.

He stopped by your new apartment to drop off things you left, you could remember his shocked face when you open the door. You heard rustling outside and curiously you opened the door to see Roger crouched down, putting a box by your door. Blue eyes meet yours, and it was like time hadn’t passed. And maybe that’s why you treated it that way, maybe that’s why you went with the old routine. And you wonder if it was the gleam in his eyes, that let you believe that there was something to hold onto; that hope remained.

“Just some bits and bobs of yours.” Roger said, fumbling his keys in his hand.

“Thanks, Rog.” You can’t move from the door frame, the gaze y’all shared unbroken. Years of memories dancing between tha gaze. The squeal of the kettle you put on earlier makes the both of you jump.

“Cuppa? I still have your favorite biscuits.” You couldn’t stop yourself from buying them. It was just normal. And sometimes normal in this new word you didn’t know, was what you needed to sleep at night.

“Really?!” His blue eyes light up, and you motion for him to come in. Staying for tea was a dangerous thing, an old and easy routine. It was weird being so comfortable with someone, who was leaving you behind. Funny how the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Maybe it was because of the easiness of it all, that you left yourself fall back into the comfort of it all. As of you two were old friends, not two lovers frayed at the seams. Because of that easiness, you let yourself entertain a thought that maybe you could save your marriage. Put back the broken pieces into something recognizable, but it wasn’t enough. The yearning, the reminiscing of old times through the stuff he brought to you somehow turned into fumbled kisses and clothes thrown around haphazardly. It was something you thought would change the course of where your life was going. Instead of reconciling, it turned into Roger sneaking out when he thought you were asleep. It turned into your lawyer, letting you know Roger wanted you to have more than you asked for. It turned into more resentment and hurt from you, how he could use you and then leave you. How could he so easily but all those years together aside? It turned into something that shouldn’t have happened. And it turned into something that would stay with you forever. A funny word forever, because forever never is forever.

“Sign this, and your divorced will be finalized. All assets obtained during the marriage have been split, due to Mr. Taylor’s wishes.” Your lawyer says looking at you, sliding the papers across, while Roger’s lawyer speaks, “You will be comfortable, and well off Y/N. My client has been more than generous. In fact, I’ve never seen a settlement this amicable from the side of the main breadwinner .”

You sign the papers without any words, you don’t even look at Roger. You realize as you sign on the dotted line, this will be the last time you will use the surname you used for years. Funny how something you thought would never change, would be stagnant in your life just fades away. You then pass the papers across the table back to Roger’s lawyer, you watch as the lawyer slides the papers over to Roger for his signature.

And when Roger takes the paper, you stop breathing you wonder if his mind will change at the eleventh hour. But, he signs it without any hesitation. It’s a fluent and flawless movement, very unlike Roger- really. Part of you breaks at that, it was like he didn’t care he was closing the door on years of his life. Closing the door on you.

You stand up, smoothing out your wide legged pant suit. After the divorce, you had dipped your toes back into the world of working for a living. Putting that masters degree in business to use, and now it was time to separate yourself from the last of the rock n roll lifestyle you loved. And you turn to walk away, high heels on the marble floor when someone grabs your wrist turning you around.

“Take care of yourself, Y/N.” Roger looks at you with concern in his blue eyes. And you wonder if it’s for the friend he was losing, and not the marriage he let go of so easily.

You look at him, “I will. Don’t forget to wear your glasses, we both know you are blind. Don’t forget to call your mum once in while, she misses you. And try not to get so angry at the boys, they mean well.”

“Even after everything I’ve done, you don’t hate me.” You spot something in his eyes, you can’t put a name too. An emotion that seems out of place, it was almost looked like guilt and forlorn.

“I told you a long time ago, I could never hate you. No matter how much, I may want too. I just can’t.”

“You are too good, Y/N. I’ve forgot to remind myself of that. Maybe that’s why…” he drifts off, “Even those daft band mates of mine agreed. Never let me forget it. But, Im sure they are out to drive me mad!” He says with a small smirk.

“With the drum sets you destroy, I doubt the plan to make you mad.” You make a small sound, something between a strangled “hmph” and snort in retort.

“Same old, Y/N.”

“By the way, I have something to-”

“Roggiee!” A voice like a bell cuts through the hushed words you tell him.

You both turn to see a girl, or really a woman bounding toward y’all. And you look toward Roger, and you see the look in his eyes. A look that used to be reserved for you. And it clicked, the guilty look etched in his eyes, not even moments ago. The guilty look he wore that night. The whole reason your world was being upended and ruined. It was for her.

The bitterness filled you up, the way he could so easily toss you aside. The look you threw at Roger was one of pure resentment and unbridled rage.

“You lied.” Your hushed words, that come out through clinched teeth drip with a malice.

He looks at you with wide eyes, as if he was trying to shelter you from the truth. And you see that damned look again. “Y/N, please. I just couldn’t tell you.”

But before you can answer, she comes up with a smile on her pink lips and a twinkle in her dark brown eyes. “You must be, Roggie’s lawyer! I’m Gwen.” She smiles at you. And her smile is sickly sweet, and almost innocent.

It makes you want to scream, to throw something, to do something other than what you are doing.

“I’m Y/N, actually.” You extend your hand to her. Her eyes go wide, and she looks at Roger, who goes to her side immediately.

“Y/N, please listen.” He hold onto her side, and the whiteness of his knuckles against the material of her dark dress don’t go unnoticed by you. “I didn’t mean to fall in love with her.”

Gwen chimes in, “We honestly tried to stay away from each other, we just couldn’t. We were drawn to each other.”

If you weren’t so bitter, hurt, and angry perhaps the romantic side of you would find that notion tragic. You had read about it in books, and always rooted for the star-crossed lovers. But, now you were the collateral damage, you were the woman scorned.

“When we decided that what we had was something, I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t tell you that I was in love with someone else, when you were there from the start. I just didn’t want you to find out after I got back from tour-”

“He couldn’t see you broken like that.” Gwen finishes for him.

You can’t even begin to comprehend the information given, you were gobsmacked. You were completely barred raw, for everyone is this godforsaken lobby to see. And because of that, you selfishly did not want to see how genuinely happy he looked with someone else. Someone who wasn’t you. So, you used the words you knew would cut him to the bone. “So, you thought it was better to make me believe it was my fault you weren’t happy. That I was ignorantly living in one sided marital bliss, while you were falling in love with someone else? While you were planning to leave, I was planning for a life with you?” Your eyes are blazing, your face hot with rage, “You thought it was better to make me believe I was the problem? I can’t believe you! After everything I did for you? After putting my life on hold for you?! This is how you repay me? I deserved the truth, but you, the both of you took that from me.”

“I just-” He sighs, “I just wanted to be happy again, and when I’m with Gwen I’m happy. And I was going to tell you, I was going to tell you that day with the drapes. But, you then you uttered that damn promise. And what was I supposed to do? How could I break my best friend? I’ve always been the asshole to everyone, but you.”

“I love you.”

You look at Roger, his long blonde hair disheveled with bright blue eyes. “I love you too, you are my friend. My very best friend.” You bump your shoulder against his, and let out a giggle.

“I’m in love with you, Y/N.”

You stare at him wide eyed, “Oh.”

“I have been for sometime.”

“Rog, I love you too. But, that doesn’t mean I want to date you. I know how you are, you will grow bored of me and find someone else. And love is sweet, but it’s not your nature. I don’t think I have it in me to me hate you, or to lose you. Please don’t make me lose my best friend.”

“You don’t get it, Y/N.” He looks at you like you hung the moon, and you like it. You crave that look. “I don’t want anyone else, it’s you. And I think it’s always been, and always will be you.”

“You promise? You promise it’s only me forever?” You bite your lip and stick out your pinky finger, like you had done so many times growing up.

“I cross my heart and hope to die.” He says as he raises your intertwined pinkies up to kiss it.

“And in that moment, I was back in Truro laughing with a curly haired little girl, and then I was in uni with that same girl, who was my best friend, I saw that girl. And, I couldn’t do that to her.”

You look at him, your face cold as stone. “I’m still that girl, I haven’t changed. You have. And that’s okay, it’s okay the change that’s life.”

That is how it ends, with a look of heartbreak on your face as the elevator doors close on the sight before you. And when the doors open, and you are greeted by the sight of the lobby. You realize, you didn’t even tell him what you wanted too.

Would it change anything?

#roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #queen imagines #roger taylor

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choiwrites · 3 years

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kth | the day after valentine’s (m.)

Words: 4.5k Synopsis: Taehyung, your best friend, had asked you to come over to help him arrange his furniture after moving for the hundredth time. It’s the day after Valentine’s and all the getting laid stuff is over, right? Not for Taehyung. Also, who the hell buys condoms after Valentine’s day? Rating: 18+ Author’s Note: This is a messy drabble that I have no intention cleaning or editing. I wrote this at liek 2am so a lot of typo’s ahead y’all.

When you agreed to come over Taehyung's apartment, you thought he needed help with arranging the stuff that came from his moving van today. But no, your best friend's not the most truthful person you know.

He spreads across his dirty old couch, one he'd kept from his college dorm, wearing nothing but his basketball shorts that holds tight against his waist. Seven years since meeting him, he's done nothing to change his lifestyle. Every month, it's the same old scenario of him moving to another place after getting evicted for God knows how many times, and you watching him play a mobile game while you beg him to please start unpacking before a landlord sends him on his ass again.

"Let me finish this level, I'm so close." He looks for a second to study your reaction, annoyance painted clearly on your face.

You shrug, and your eyes dart over the cigarette pack that almost hides in one of his Goodwill boxes.

"I though you quit?"

Confused, Taehyung follows your eyes and he regrets in an instant bringing you here.

"I haven't had one in two months. I'm stressed lately."

Sighing, you try to understand. Taehyung's been on and off with cigars, he'd buy one in secret but sooner or later, you'd always find a lighter in his laundry when coming over. You advice him to keep his hand busy, and you'd even given him a bracelet that chimes. He removed it three months later and you never asked where he threw it away.

"Fuck," his finger swipes his screen as if he wanted to break it, "I almost got it!" he yelled.

He switches off his phone, now staring back at you. Your eyes fall, he's always intimidating. You couldn't blame him, you were always intimidated.

"What?" you croaked.

"What do you mean what? What's your plan?"

"My plan? Why do I have to make the plans?" Your fingers find the hem of your thin baby blue shirt.

"Because you're the smarter one. How do I arrange all my shit? You got any idea?"

"Taehyung, we've been doing this for ages. How come you still depend on me? There will come a day that I won't be here anymore and the only person you could depend on is yourself." Was it seeing the cigarettes that raised your voice, or remembering that he threw your handmade bracelet? You couldn't care less.

He was quiet. Then he opens his mouth, and he's quiet again.

"You sound like my mom," he says, meaning to tease you as if he hadn't used that for the hundredth time. "Was your date last night that bad? I told you you should come with Hoseok and I on Valentine's, we had an amazing night at Jungkook's crib."

There he goes again, ignorant of your troubles. Classic selfish Tae, the exact same one who stood you up on homecoming because he spent it having sex with Tilly Janes in his car. You're still upset about it, he didn't even think of going inside to give you at least a minute to dance with somebody on the dance floor.

"Mind telling me what happened? Did you get laid?"

"Do you ever think of maybe you shouldn't ask such inappropriate questions to someone?"

"Fine," almost tired in his tone.

And you spend a few more minutes in silence, guessing each other's thoughts with the way both your gaze lands on the floor. He clears his throat and forgets what he's about to say. You wish you didn't cancel your nail appointment today just to be with your best friend who still, in no surprise, doesn't have a single plan in his life.

Taehyung suggests he buys a stock from the grocery first, and when he says stock he means an awful lot of Oreo cookies and Lays. You agreed with him and he gets dressed, though the soles of your feet still hurt from walking in heels for three hours straight last night. If only you knew that Hyungwon would be bringing you to a walking spree, you wouldn't have worn a formal attire.

Taehyung spends his time choosing between peanut butter and double stuff. You tell him to pick the peanut butter one because you've never seen him finish the double stuff, he always throws the leftovers saying it was too sweet. He ignores your opinion and chooses the double stuff over the peanut butter.

He asks you again whether he should buy milk or pineapple juice instead, and you tell him to pick milk because whoever drinks pineapple is a monster. He nods in affirmation, commenting about how pineapple has a really weird aftertaste. And he brings the milk back to the shelf, putting the pineapple juice in the cart.

"You should dress like that." He points at a mannequin dressed in sportswear.

"You don't tell me what to wear, young man. I don't even jog."

"I'm just saying you'd look hotter." He scans you head to toe and your knees weaken a little.

He takes a route to the meat section, you already know why. He just wants to brag about being a vegan. Jungkook had convinced him last month to finally turn vegan, and he's been talking about it non-stop.

"I can't stand the smell of meat anymore, it's disgusting." He pinches his nose, wrinkles forming on his face.

"Okay, Mr. Vegan. We get it." You rolled your eyes.

"No, really. It's making me vomit," he says, nasally.

"Just make sure that once I cook chicken alfredo, your mouth wouldn't water."

Upon reaching the counter, Taehyung approaches the magazines and candy bars, leaving you in line.

What does he need this time?

And when you're up next in line, he comes back with a tight fist, hiding an item as he crosses his arms.

He thought he was sleek, but when he throws the condoms next to the Oreos, you couldn't help but laugh.

"You're buying condoms after Valentine's Day?" You throw your hand to your mouth, suppressing an uncontrollable laughter. "Did you run out last night or you're only getting laid today?" you added.

"Do you ever think of maybe you shouldn't ask such inappropriate questions to someone?"

You sighed. "But seriously, I know you wanna answer that question."

In the mood, you poke at his waist and he flinches like a worm. Taehyung was cocky, but he can be cute sometimes in ways he doesn't intend to.

"I ran out last night. Lucky you who don't need to buy another one since none of your dates ever pass your standards."

You couldn't point it out in what he said that made your heart throb, it felt a little offensive. Taehyung knows so much about you, it can get scary when he opens his mouth. What's he thinking right now? Cute little y/n, no one's ever good enough for her fragile heart. Cute little y/n, always finds a mistake in every part.

"That's not true, you know? I just don't settle that easily."

The corners of his lips lift, eyes rolling in disbelief. He was skinning you alive with that gaze, annoyed. He has a sarcastic smile sprawled all over his face, you just wanna punch it away.

On the way home, you thought about what he said for a second... For a while. You thought about it for a while. Was Taehyung right? Was his perception of you correct? Whatever it was, it did hurt. All you ever did for Taehyung was to be a good friend, and he gave nothing in return. You weren't expecting anything, but deep inside you knew Taehyung loves you just as much as you love him. But like every other person, insecurity gets in the way in relationships.

Maybe Taehyung doesn't even treat you as a friend.

No, you argued inside your head.

Sure, you've seen him in his most vulnerable moments. You've seen him break and you've seen him fall, you've seen him lose the inner parts of his soul. You've seen Taehyung happy, and you will always remember that specific laugh he lets out whenever he pretends something is funny. You know that he blinks when he curses because his body rejects it. He told you about his broken dream of becoming an astrologist, and you daydreamed together about the stars and the way they collide like magical dusts.

Maybe Taehyung doesn't know you like you know him.

Before the thought gets answered, Taehyung was already groaning as he puts the bags down to his counter. You had forgotten you arrived.

"We should start with your room. I'll place your clothes in your closet and you go arrange your miscellaneous."

He doesn't nod. Why won't he nod? God, please, Taehyung, just agree with me once.

He remains standing with both his hands on either sides of his waist and he does nothing else. Still standing feet away from you, just knitted brows and a stern expression that you couldn't read. What is it this time?

"How was it?" His arms cross on the buff his chest, waiting for a response as he tries to read your reaction the same way you're reading where he's coming from.

"How was what?"

"The sex, y/n. Was it so bad you're in a bad mood today?" A laugh pauses in his throat, replaced by a rise of the corner of his lips.

It was a tug, or maybe a push, in your stomach that made your minds do wonders of spins. Such an unpredictable person Taehyung is.

There was nothing to deliberate inside your mind, nothing happened last night. Hyungwon went home without a kiss on his lips, and you're limbs gave out due to the amount of walking.

"There's no sex. We didn't have sex."

"Let me guess, he insulted your outfit? If not, he probably split the check." His index finger extends, eyes wrinkling to get out any more ideas from his dirty little head.

"Can you just- Ugh! What's with you and your insults?"

"How was that an insult? I was guessing which of what he did didn't pass your golden standard."

"If I had a better standard, maybe you wouldn't be my friend." Ouch. It wasn't directed to you but sometimes you just want to dissolve after saying something.

"I'm your friend because you have a high standard." He wasn't offended, not a single bit from what you have said. Was Taehyung that oblivious of how miserable he is? "If we weren't friends, I'm pretty sure I could get inside your pants."

You hoped he regret what he said, just as much as you wanted to dissipate earlier.

"I'm sorry, Taehyung. But my 'golden standard' would never, and I can't stress this enough, let you get in my pants, in an alternate universe where we aren't friends."

"Lies. Lies. Lies. I could easily get you swooning for me in just a matter of seconds, y/n. Stop, and I can't stress this enough, lying."

"Sure, Taehyung. Whatever you want me to fucking say." You turned your back on him to get a grip of yourself. You grunt, you shudder, and you sighed.

Cocky. Bastard. You could join those words together and it would still perfectly describe Taehyung. Perhaps you have a list of two words that could go either independently or together they'd still describe Taehyung well.

Arrogant. Pervert. Overconfident. Asshole. Striking. Idiot. Son. Of. A. Bitch. I. Just. Want. To. Punch. Him.

He places a grip on your arm to spin you to him. "I want you to say it," with a guttural voice coming from the pits of somewhere within his diaphragm, it's crazy how smooth it escaped from his lips.

"Saywhat?" as opposed to yours that escaped with so much tremble and crisp, thinner than air.

"Consent," he began. "I'm pretty sure I can reach your standard."

It was probably a bad idea. And a bad idea is followed by a spontaneous drive to try it, that's how it's done in movies. You'd probably regret it, right? But you'd regret it more if you don't get a chance to prove Taehyung wrong.

Fine. He needs a wake up call. He needs to wake up from that delusion he'd built inside his towering cocky arrogant head, no pun intended, that he's not every girl's cup of tea.

"You know what? Sure. What do you want me to do? Ride you? Then give you a blowjob after not finding the clit-"

He pulls you, hand reaching your lower back to push his groin toward your front. You were far behind than he was, Taehyung was already hard and eager. His lips were hot, warm around the tip of your tongue that vividly tastes the mint and smoke he had had earlier this morning. It was evident in the sloppiness of his kiss, swiftness of his wandering hands, and blazing fire underneath the lust of his eyes, Taehyung isn't exactly as what you have thought him to be.

The men you've slept with before, they were a floating fish in the sea. But Taehyung brings you sea deep into the weakness of your knees, the floor may have shaken 'cause you find yourself falling on his body and he catches you just perfectly, bodies molding with each other on the floor. Taehyung grips your thigh, to the north his hand traveled, his thumb harshly caressing your slit.

The position made it hard for him to move, he was struggling to reach every part of your body as he would have wanted so he pushed your body, and you look him in the eyes with question, both hands resting on his chest as he continues to play with your clit. He earns a sly grunt from you and he'd do anything to hear it again.

Then he was standing, carrying your body to the nearest stool he could find, desperate and quick. With one sharp thrust to lock you in position, he inhales the moan that went from your lips to his throat. Then he stops. He stopped.

"Moaning already, are we?" He lifts his brow, a crease forming on his forehead.

"Can you just get to it?"

He laughs. "That's not exactly how I always do it. I like to take my time."

You punch his shoulder, a questioning look taking over his features. Embarrassment flows through you. "This was a mistake."

He kisses you again, eating whatever insult was about to come out of your mouth. He wants to whisper it, that thing he have always wanted to tell you, in between kisses. Because now that he's got you under his touch, his tongue is burning just to say it. To distract himself, he digs into your waist deeper, sinking those three little words under your skin hoping you'd realize it.

You pull away, pushing him away from you. "Something wrong?" His nails have left their mark before you could figure out.

"No, no. Nothing's wrong."

There is though. You're not a stranger to not know the look on Taehyung's face. You recognize this one, it happened before. The trembling lips and crimson cheeks. They bring you back the day after prom, the day after Tilly Janes took his innocence.

"What happened last night?" you asked him, arms crossed against your chest.

"I'm so sorry I didn't come-"

"You came Tae. You came hard, didn't you? I can't believe you convinced me to go to prom just so you can leave me in there alone."

"I didn't want to. Listen, okay, I realized something last night."

"I don't need your apology, Taehyung. I don't need it. Jimin took me home last night."

"What? Why?"

"Why? Because some asshole left me without a ride. That's why!"

"I was looking for you last-"

"Shut it. He asked me on a date. So thank God, I'm at least in a good mood today to not flame on you."

"He asked you on a date? Are you going?"

Trembling lips and crimson cheeks. He gulped so hard you heard it.

"I am. Hey, are you okay?"

"I just can't believe someone would even ask you out. I'll be going, forget I came."

It's the same face, the same gulp. You put your hand on his cheek, like what a mom would do to an injured child, and he holds it so you won't ever let go of his face.

"We can stop. I know. This was a bad idea. We shouldn't have done it."

He shakes his head, his other hand creeping behind you. He latches his lips onto yours again, pulling your shirt up to reveal your stomach. The kiss was different, a touch of hunger for affection. A slow open one, mostly the breaths clashing in a soft whisper.

"I want you, y/n. I want you," he whispered to your mouth. You push him to the couch, straddling him and he groans in satisfaction. He pulls you closer, enough for his chin to land on your chest and he looks up in pure admiration of you.

There was more behind the words he said, but with the heat pooling in between your thighs, you couldn't care less as of now. It's something you'll resolve after. He tucks a strand of your hair as he makes thrusts underneath you, the thick cotton of his sweats didn't do anything to conceal his cock aching for you.

You remove his shirt, not being able to take your eyes away from his body. Sweet and honey under your gaze, he tenses them and you couldn't help but laugh at this. Kissing every inch of his exposed skin, you kneel as your knees approach the floor, not breaking eye contact with Taehyung while untying his sweats. His hand fails to fall steady on your arm and his Adam's apple bob in anticipation.

There's warmth that spreads across your stomach, different from the one in between you thighs. It's like electricity that continuously ignites a fire inside you when you notice his excitement, eager to have your mouth around him. A sign of reciprocation that he wants this just as much as you do no matter how hard you try to deny it, a catching fire of the thought that maybe he looks at you the way you look at him throughout all these years. Even now that you're not looking in his eyes, the continuous ignition of sparks inside you still teases.

You reach for his length, softly wrapping it in your hand and his breath quickens along with your heartbeat. Studying every detail, even the cold tones of the veins that spreads like tree roots. In usual occasions, giving head never takes your time. You suck it and finish it, no more and no less, nothing special really. But it's Taehyung, and his difference from others makes you uncomfortable in a way it shouldn't be possible. Trying to forget these unnecessary emotions, your thumb circles the head of his cock and he couldn't help but make his lip bleed, the agony of it keeping him awake to not fall into your dreamy touch.

His shorts reaches the floor and you made it quick to to kiss the base of his glistening length. Your index finger making lines on his thigh while the other keeps his cock steady as your lips move upward. You've never imagined how he would taste, but you were always sure he tastes exactly like he tastes now. Bittersweet. He throbs at the heat of your breath, thighs almost jumping when your fingers find his balls. He emits a groan that strengthens the force you're putting in your thighs to keep your core intact.

Down you go, the head of his cock deepening in your throat just like his grunts, getting lower and lower until he thrusts upwards making you gag and he releases a high-pitched whimper of your name. Tears blur your vision and a moan sends minimal vibration to his cock.

"I don't think... y/n, fuck, I'm not gonna last long," he confessed, and you finally look up to see him without removing him from your mouth.

You tongue swirling still and he has gone rabid trying to control himself, clenching your hair as he lets himself go maniac against your throat. He stares at you with mad eyes, his mouth failing in keeping him quiet. Only his groans, his throat-fucking, and your whimpers that you can no longer suppress. You're a little scared maybe he'll get too confident and tease you on your gagging, calling himself so big he made you cry.

He pulls your hair and he tries to get a hold of himself, catching his breath to gain stability. Before you can wipe the corners of your lips, he was standing up and taking your shirt off. He frames his chin with his index finger and his thumb, making you grow conscious of your own body. He had no reason to be looking so long, he'd seen you in a two piece more than one occasion. And he's going behind you, putting a finger at the waist of your shorts, bringing it down slowly until it lands by itself. He wraps your hair in a pony as the other grips your ass, a throaty growl escaping from his body.

He rotates you to the other side, an empty blank wall where you can see the fool you made of yourself. The argument ends here. The argument has ended since he had kissed you like no one had kissed you. You shouldn't have underestimated Taehyung, because he's now biting your shoulder as he slowly descends you to the wall. He hums, this close he can hear the tiny whimpers you try to keep to yourself, your fragile voice that can break once you open your mouth to say something. He can hear them all and he's aware of the power he has over you.

A hand holds both of yours behind your back, and once he has successfully taken your white underwear off, he's positioning the fat head of his cock right in your entrance.

"Make it easier for the both of us and just say it, y/n," he commands, his breath echoing in your ear sending voltage in your spine. He bites your ear and he whispers again, "Baby, please."

"What?"

Taehyung laughs at your adorable cluelessness. He doesn't answer. The next thing you hear was the expansion of his breaths, getting heavier and heavier it's almost a hum as he slides himself inside you.

"Taehyung," you say in a falsetto, "god, Tae, fuck!"

"Hmm, fucking tight. You're so fucking tight, y/n. Your pussy's taking my cock so fucking well," his knees bend to enter you deeply, this sharp thrust hitting a spot in you you never knew you'd feel, "maybe now you'd let me fuck you often, huh? You're gonna take my cock anytime you want, I'll fuck your brains out, ruin you and your cunt."

You respond with a soft murmur of you're not entirely sure what, because Taehyung was already fucking your brains out and you had no other thoughts but the feeling of his cock that slips in out of you so easily. He'd hit that one spot and you're going to release yet another cry and he'd enjoy every note of it. You're a mess with strands of your hair sticking to your face as the sweat trickle down your temples.

"Tell me what you want, y/n. Want it fast, baby?" He speeds up his thrusts, your ah's getting louder as he almost sends you to your high. "Or you want to cherish every inch of my cock?" He slows down which brings you wailing, whimpering his name over and over until you're no longer sure if it's even coming out right. His free hand lands on your ass and you gasp as if inhaling after suffocation. "Answer me," he speeds up his pace again, "answer me, y/n."

But you couldn't, there's nothing in your body that you trust right now especially your voice. He growls, unsatisfied with your silence which leads him to pulling your hair and pushing your back to the wall. You're almost embarrassed to see his eyes once more in the state you're in, overpowered by the despair of wanting nothing but to have Taehyung take you to your climax. Your eyes are begging for him, hell there were tears coming from them as he enters you again.

He cries out, "I want to fuck you all day long, would you let me do that?" He continues to carry you upward the wall and your weight would go down whenever he pulls himself from you. You nod and as he sees this, his head moves back to watch your body crumble before him, giving him no more than satisfaction. "Look at you desperate for my cock, such a fucking whore for me, aren't ya?"

In every "hm" he makes, he enters you harder and rougher, makes you want to stay silent. You bite your lip, feeling yourself come to a close. Your thighs pulling together like magnets, wrapping his waist while it shakes and he doesn't take one second to land your body on the couch, watching your orgasm hit you with spasms traveling your whole body. Taehyung wraps his cock in his hand, moving toward your mouth as he jerks himself off to his own orgasm. You take the spurts of his fluid landing on your tongue, his waist twitching while he groans for each drop of cum.

He sighs, falling onto the couch where your legs are still apart. He smiles at your nakedness, not giving a second thought as his middle finger enters you once more. Your body sits straight, only to land on the sofa's arm. "You're so fucking pretty," he commented, his body hovering over yours again. He kisses you.

"I can't handle," you say before Taehyung cuts you off with another kiss, and another, and another, his finger in and out of you which as the minute grows only turns from pain into pleasure again.

"You're going to," he whispers and he kisses you again, until you're crying his name and he just studies the way you react to his slender finger. "So pretty, so, so," he curves his finger resulting to your second orgasm, "pretty." He makes sure you see his savoring your juices in his mouth, and once he was done lapping up his finger he puts them inside your lips, tasting nothing but his saliva.

"Do you get it now, y/n?" He unclasps your bra, and from then on he ignores your eyes. "This is why I run out of condoms."

#kim taehyung #kth #taehyung smut #taehyung imagine #taehyung x reader #bts smut #bts fic #drabble #bts x reader #taehyung fic

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1a-imagines · 4 years

Text

A knights promise

[Characters: Izuku Midoriya]

[Overview: He swore to become your loyal knight so he would never have to leave your side again.]

[A/n: I'm not saying Knight izuku has my entire fucking heart but- that's exactly what i'm saying. I love him.]

"Come now honey, sulking in bed wont change a thing." Your father patted your back as you shoved your small head into one of the many silk pillows on your bed. It was a bed that was comically large for a child your size, but that’s the perks of being royalty, you could have just about anything you wished for.

There weren't many things royalty could complain about, there was no doubt you had almost everything a person could ever want! But being a ten year old with no friends, only butlers and maids surrounding you day and night, would make anyone a bit upset. Especially when the servants had jobs to do and no time to play around.

"There's no one else around here that’s my age! It gets really lonely." Came your muffled reply but all your father could do was chuckle at your huffy behaviour.

“What about your brothers?”

The mention of her older brothers made her groan. “They’re boring now too! They never have time for me anymore!”

As her brothers grew older the more duties they had to fulfill, whether it was training to fight or learning the in’s and out’s of being proper royalty they were always busy with something. Which meant they had little free time to spend with their sister. You used to find them annoying, as do most siblings, but now you missed the time you all used to spend together.

“I can’t believe I finally made a friend my age and he lives outside of the kingdom.” You sighed solemnly.

A few years back you and your family would often go into town to talk with the people and help around. The kingdom wasn’t the richest in the lands, nor was it the biggest but life here was happy and your father liked to show you and your brothers how the town worked. Everyone helped each other to live comfortable lives and it was your duty to check up on them and fix any problems in order to maintain peace.

You remembered your father was preoccupied with talking to a bakery owner when you noticed a mop of green hair poking out from the side of a building. Being the curious child you were, you stared at it to see what it was? A person? A fluffy animal? Your imagination ran wild with thoughts until a head poked out to look at you. As soon as the boy saw you staring back he turned red and jumped back into his hiding place.

You smiled at the memory. You were only 6 years old at the time and yet you two were able to form a friendship like no other. You remembered walking over to him and calling him out for spying but it turns out he was just curious about you, having never seen someone dressed so fancy in town before. You two spent the whole day talking and playing pretend around the kingdom. It was much more fun than standing around as your father talked to the townspeople.

The two of you were inseparable from that day forward.

But the sad news was that he lived outside of the kingdom with his mom and only came to town to buy food or sell produce once a week. So you two were only able to see each other when he was visiting and for years it stayed that way. You would wait on the outskirts of the kingdom every Tuesday at precisely midday for them to show up and the two of you would spend the day talking and playing around as his mom took care of chores.

As you grew closer your parents allowed you to stay over at each other's homes every so often too! You would never forget the way his jaw dropped once he set foot inside the castle. The look of awe on his face as you showed him around was nothing short of hilarious! He made such a big deal over every little thing that you were so used to. Like being served the best food in the lands! Or having so much indoor space to run around! Or the amount of servants that were willing to serve him simply because he was your friend!

The first time you went over to his small little cottage you were awestruck too! It was so tiny! You couldn't comprehend how they lived together in such a small space! Your bedroom was bigger than their house!

They even did all the work on their small plot of land themselves! They grew vegetables and took care of animals, cooked their own foods and cleaned their house without any help from servants! It was like a completely different world to yours but you were thankful for the experience! His home life was so cozy, even if they did not share the same riches as you. You liked to think the whole experience had made you more down to earth.

You realised how thankful you should be for all you had and you swore to yourself that anytime you came over you would help them with their work as much as you could!

You even forced the two royal guards that accompanied you at all times to help them as well.

You two were polar opposites in terms of lifestyle but it made things more interesting. You had taught each other so much in just a few short years! Never did you think you would work on a farm!! It was dirty and sometimes a bit gross but it only made you appreciate all the commoners in your kingdom. They all worked very hard to make a living.

It was safe to say that your friendship had grown pretty strong in those 4 years, even if you couldn’t spend every day together. He had to help his mom with work around their farm and you weren’t allowed outside of the kingdom since there were a lot of dangerous people who would jump at the chance to snag a princess and sell her back for heaps of jewels.

But that didn’t stop you from having guards deliver letters and gifts to him and his mom. You cared for them as if they were your own family now, they had been nothing but kind to you and you wouldn't trade your friendship with him for the world.

He just had a way of making you so happy! His smile alone was enough to cheer you up and you were sure that this was a once in a lifetime sort of friendship.

“Yes, I know. I hear this complaint everytime you miss him- and you miss him a lot.” You could hear the amusement in your father's voice. His tone made you wonder if he knew something that you didn’t? Why wasn't he taking you seriously? Why was he brushing you off and laughing at your misery?

You pulled your head from your pillow and sent him a glare to tell him you weren’t amused. You were in no means a bratty child but you could get pretty grumpy when you hadn’t seen Izuku for awhile.

“Oh don’t give me that look, you’re lucky he misses you too.” Your father gave you one last path to your back before standing up from his seat on the edge of your bed.

“What does that mean?”

Your father opened the large double doors to your room and as soon as you saw that messy green hair that you adored so much, peek through you dashed forward without second thought. You almost knocked your father over in the process.

You wrapped your arms around him tightly with a smile that could rival the brightness of the sun. “IZU!”

“Y-Y/n-!” You were aware that you were crushing him with your hug but you couldn’t help yourself. You had missed him so much! You let him go and grabbed his hands in yours. “What are you doing here!?”

“I came to see you of course! My mom said I’m allowed to stay here for a few days since I’ve been working extra hard on the farm!!” His smile rivaled your own.

He had been running around all week, trying to be the best golden child he could be and do all the jobs his mom wanted done just so he could spend some time with you. He was tired and it had been a lot of hard work but seeing your radiant smile made it all worth it to him.

You turned to your dad knowing he must have had something to do with this too. Perhaps he had sent his mom a letter to ask permission for him to stay with them for awhile?

Your father reached down to pat the top of your small head. “Don’t say I never do anything for you. Try not to cause too much trouble you two, and be in bed by 9pm, I’ll make sure to have the guards check on you so no rule breaking!” He warned with a gentle smile and you both nodded enthusiastically. No amount of rules could bring down your spirits! You were going to make every second together a special one.

As soon as the doors shut you began jumping up and down unable to contain the excitement you felt. “I’m so happy!! I can’t wait!! We’re going to have so much fun! We can play games and tell stories and oh! I can even show you some of the magic I've been learning in my magic lessons!!”

Seeing him take the bag he had on his back off and put in on the ground made you feel giddy. It was probably filled with clothes and other necessities. It just made this whole thing feel more real! He wasn’t going to be leaving anytime soon and you could spend the next few days making memories and having as much fun as you possibly could!

And so you did just that.

The next few days were spent, baking with the chefs in the kitchen (and ultimately resulting in a food fight and then being scolded for the mess), showing him the new spells you had learned, reading stories together, playing games, having the guards teach you both to spar and pulling pranks on your brothers. Though Izuku was a lot less enthusiastic about the last one, he felt awful for pranking royalty! Even if it wasn’t his idea. Luckily your brothers took it well, though they swore revenge on you two and that scared him more than anything.

You felt like you hadn’t smiled or laughed this much in so long, it was perfect. You wished it could always be this way. That he never had to leave again. The castle just wasn’t the same without him around.

It was the night before he had to leave you again. The moon shone brightly, it was high up in the sky reminding you of how you were both breaking curfew. But neither of you wanted to sleep. The sooner you slept the sooner he would have to leave. You didn't want to sleep and waste those precious seconds with each other.

You were both sitting on your large window, staring out at the beautiful clear night sky as you tried to name all the constellations. Though, knowing this was the last night you two would be together before he disappeared for another week or two, had made you too upset to concentrate on what he was actually saying.

You pulled your legs to your chest with a sigh and that got him to stop talking and turn away from the stars to focus his attention on you. “What's wrong?” his small voice asked, his big green eyes filled with worry. You glanced up at him with a frown, “You know what’s wrong… You’re going back home tomorrow and I won’t be able to see you for weeks! I always have so much fun when you’re around… I feel as if I'm at my happiest with you! But-” you curled up tighter and turned your head away, “But you always have to leave and then I’m left alone again!"

Izuku listened to every word with his mouth partly agape. He understood how you felt. He was always happiest when he was with you too. He missed you every second you were apart, he had never had a friend before you and you were his most precious person. Even if he was too shy to say so out loud. It always felt so surreal that he was best friends with the Princess herself but he wouldn’t trade any of this for the world.

He crawled forward until your legs brushed together. He leaned over to place his small hand on top of yours. It was such a gentle and innocent action that was only intended to soothe a solem friend.

“But no matter how long I’m away for I will always come back to you, and every second we are away I promise to think of you. Maybe if I think hard enough you’ll be able to feel how much I miss you and you won't feel as alone!”

You blinked at his words. “How will I hear if you think about it? If you want it to reach me you will have to yell to the gods and then they will give me the message and every night I’ll yell back so you know I miss you too! But make sure to yell, really, super duper loud. Ok?”

“Ok! I promise I’ll yell as loud as I can!” He nodded so determinedly that you had no doubt that he would keep to his promise. Satisfied with his reply the pair of you fell into a silence as you sat and watched the stars twinkling from the confines of your dark room. It was peaceful, and the way the moon illuminated the two of you and your surroundings seemed magical.

There was nothing in the world that you would trade this moment for.

“You know… the past few weeks we were apart, i’ve been thinking a lot.” You heard Izuku start. You took notice of the way he nervously fiddled with his hands as well as how he seemed to smile like he was content with whatever he was thinking. “I can’t see you more because I have to work and help my mom, and you can’t leave the kingdom because it’s too dangerous..” He continued before suddenly looking up at you and it was only then that you realised how red his cheeks were.

“I want to become your knight!!” He exclaimed.

“Huh!?” You felt your cheeks heat up at the sudden declaration.

“Well.. If I work hard to become your knight then not only can we be together everyday but I’ll be able to protect you from all the dangers out there too! And that’s all I want in my life! ” He sent you a closed eye grin.

“When I grow up I promise to become the best knight in the land for you. I will protect you with my life and stay by your side forever! Then we never have to be apart again!”

----

Ah what a silly little promise that was made between ten year olds. It had been 13 years since that night and-

You honestly had not expected him to stay true to his words!

“Princess.” Your ever faithful knight bowed down on one knee to you and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his formal behaviour. Especially when no one else was around to see it. There was no need to put on a front when you were alone. “You’re guests are awaiting your arrival.”

“What have I told you about formalities? You may be my personal knight but you’re also much more than that.” You crossed your arms and Izuku looked up at you with a playful glint in his eyes. “I don’t say it for formalities, I say It out of love. A pet name if you will? You are my princess after all.” He stood up, enjoying the way your face turned red.

“You’ve gotten a bit bold lately, aren’t you still worried about someone finding out? A princess and her appointed knight dating is a bit taboo after all.” You watched as he stepped forward to take your hand into his. He always held you as if you were the most delicate thing on the planet and it never failed to make your heart swell. Even with just a simple touch he was able to show how much he loved you, how he would never dare let any harm come to you.

"We've been keeping this secret for two years now- almost three. I'm starting to find myself not caring who finds out anymore. I want them all to know how much I love you." His hand came up to gently brush through some of your stray hair. The action made you close your eyes. It was blissful to be able to share these moments with him.

"I wish for that too, but if word were to spread around we could both be in danger. There are dangerous people out there that would use this love against us." It was saddening to know that you two could never be open with your relationship. It seemed that you always had obstacles in your way, and yet your love for each still bloomed and stood strong. You knew this was that true love all of those stories you'd read as a child would talk about. There was no doubt in your mind. Your relationship may have only been going on for three years but your love for each other had been around for much much longer.

"Yes.. I know." It was selfish of him to think of showing his love for you to the world given the dangers but he could at least dream about it, right? "At least I'm able to spend all my time with you and no one dares question it since I am your loyal knight. Even if you hadn't returned my feelings I would have been content just to stay by your side." He leaned down to press a kiss to the back of your hand before holding out his arm for you to take.

"Now shall we? Your guests are still waiting for you."

You let out a groan and hesitantly took his arm. "Fine, let's get this over with." You muttered bitterly, knowing what was waiting for you in the grand hall. "But you know my orders right?"

You saw Izuku nod from the corner of your eye. "I will stay by your side the entire night. You don't even have to give the signal, as soon as any bachelors try to steal you away I will be there to save you. Even if I can't be open with my love for you, I wouldn't dare let anyone steal you from me." He declared as you walked the empty halls. He still kept his voice low even if there was no one else around. All the servants had gathered in the grand hall to serve the royals at the party but there was no harm in being cautious.

"As if they could." You scoffed and tightened your hold on his arm. "No prince from any land could match up to you. You don't just own a piece of my heart, you have all of it. That cannot be changed."

A smile crept onto your lips as you watched his cheeks turn red. He may be one of the top knights in the kingdom- hell, he was known as one of the strongest in the lands! But he was still so easily embarrassed, so easy to tease, he still held a lot of the same traits he did when he was younger, staying true to the shy, sweet boy he was. Although now, he wasn't as weak and you could tell just from holding onto his muscular arm.

He wasn't as innocent either, but that was more your doing. You tried to hide your smirk as you recalled all the times he had to bite down on your pillows to muffle his needy moans from any nearby servants. He had even torn a few of them from how harshly he had to bite them. It may be awful to hide your love but it was very fun to see him try to contain himself. The risk of being caught added a certain spice to it all as well. It was a wonder how you had never been caught after three years of this same routine.

The party was exactly as you expected it to be. Extravagant and filed with royalty. You could already feel the gazes upon you as soon as you entered the room. Kings and princes alike staring you down and hoping to get the chance to talk to you and arrange a marriage so your kingdoms could be united. It made you sick, not that all of them were bad people, but you were already in love and the thought of having to marry another man was what made your stomach churn.

Izuku must have felt you tense up because his hand came up to place itself on top of yours. "Don't worry, I'm here. Just smile and brush them off, they won't dare bother the princess and risk ruining their chances at an arranged marriage." He said with a smile, though the smile was only for show. You could see in his eyes this bothered him just as much as it did you.

You had been doing this song and dance for years, you should be used to it by now but every time proved just as torturous as the last.

"You certainly take your time." You turned to the source of the voice to see your brother standing there. His wife of five years on his arm, they looked happy and you couldn't help but envy the fact he was allowed to be open with his love. Lucky him, falling in love with a princess. He never had to worry about what people would think or worry about losing her. Their love was considered a blessing from the start.

"Brother." You bowed before him and he laughed. "Took you this long to show your big brother some respect huh?"

"Well, you are the king now. It would be rude not to show the king some respect." You replied with a smile. You father had passed away a few years back which meant your eldest brother now took the role of king. He did suit the part well, he was just like your father in many ways and you knew he would make a great ruler.

Your brother chuckled again. "See? She only acts like this in front of other people. Perhaps we should throw parties more often so I can get a bit of respect from her every now and then." He told his wife who laughed with him.

'Oh god please don't throw anymore parties.' You silently pleaded as your brother let go of his wife and stepped forward. "Actually, I have some great news! I've found a prince for you! I know you’ve been picky about it and you’re not all too thrilled about the idea but he has a lot of the same interests as you, I made sure he was down to earth and not a stuck up snob, and he's quite handsome too- not more than me of course but i'm sure he'll fit your low standards just fine." You would have elbowed him for that jab at you had the dread in your stomach not settled in already.

Your brother was not aware of your love for Izuku, otherwise you were sure he wouldn't have bothered with all this. But you refrain from telling him out of fear you two might be separated. The relationship between you two was to stay mostly professional, everyone knew you two were best friends but to be more than that could cause problems. In fact, even being best friends had made a few people worry that he was not fit to be your knight. Feelings could get in the way and distract him from his main duty. The relationship was supposed to be strictly professional so he could focus on protecting you.

Somehow izuku had managed to convince your family he would let no such thing happen, and he stayed true to his word. He never let himself slack off from his job even if you tempted him to. He was always prepared to protect you with his life and he trained hard everyday to make sure he was fit enough to be your protector.

“Ah- brother- about that.. I'm not sure…" but before you could protest further a tall, handsome man with kind eyes was shoved in front of you and you were being introduced to each other. “Why don't we leave them alone for a bit. Come with us, Midoriya.” and thus you were left to helplessly watch as Izuku, your emotional support, was taken away from you. How could you get through this party if he wasn’t there to keep you from losing your mind?!

You ended up being stuck talking with this prince for hours, listening to him talk about his family, his kingdom ect. He seemed nice enough, you had no problem with him. Under normal circumstances you were sure you two would get along just fine!

At least he wasn’t being rude to you like a few other snobby princes had in the past. But no matter how nice he was you could never love him.

Not in the same way you loved your precious Izuku. This was never going to work out for you. You refused to subject yourself to mindlessly talking with a guy you had no interest in. You weren’t even really listening to him, your eyes were glued to Izuku the whole time. He was standing by one of the walls along with a few of the other knights. His eyes never left you either, the rest of the room faded away as you longingly stared at each other, but with your brother's eyes on you, you both felt obligated to stay away.

The more you stared at him the more your heart tugged you towards him. You were unable to take any more of this, you craved to be encased in his arms. To have him pet your hair as he whispered loving words into your ears as he always did when you were upset or stressed. Why did the world always have to keep you apart when all you wanted was to be by each others sides?

You shook your head in frustration. The staring from all the other royals, forcing yourself to smile and act interested, having to be torn away from the one you really wanted to spend your time with. It was everything you hated all at once and you suddenly felt your patience snap in two.

With a sigh you stopped the prince from speaking any further by raising your hand. “I apologise but I need to go now.”

Was all you left him with before walking off, not caring how rude you might have seemed. All you cared about was rushing over to your knight.

You weaved through the endless crowd of people to get to him. He perked up immediately seeing you walk over, pushing himself from the wall and meeting you halfway. “Let’s go Izuku.”

He followed you out of the grand hall and through the long hallways, his step in time with yours as to stay close to your side. The walk was silent, he got worried when he saw that look in your eyes. You looked exhausted, frustrated, upset and he suddenly felt he should have done more to help you back there.

Though the knight held no authority against a prince and to intervene would be highly inappropriate. Not to mention it would raise suspicions, Especially when the king himself had told Izuku to give you some space so you could converse with your "potential future husband", he couldn’t go against the king! He felt so helpless! The whole time he was staring at you he was trying to think up a way to get you out of there and back by his side.

He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been a little bit jealous of the prince taking up your time but it hurt him even more to see that look of sadness in your eyes as you forced yourself to endure it all.

As soon as the doors to your bedroom closed you turned to him and the spark of determination in your eyes made him freeze up. Your expression had completely changed and it had startled him. You looked so upset a second ago that he had half expected you to cry or rush into his arms for a hug. What was running through your mind?

“Lets run away together.”

“WHAT!?”

“Shh!” you panicked at his outburst, hopefully no one was around to hear it. “I said let's run away together. I can’t deal with this life anymore.”

He didn’t know what to say. Run away? It was so sudden. You had always seemed pretty content with your life here. Especially when he started living in the castle. His room was right by yours and you were able to spend everyday together like you had always dreamed of as children. Not only that but you had a wonderful family and everything you could ever want, and now you suddenly wanted to run away?

“Princess… I don’t think you’ve thought this through- You’re tired from the party and you must feel upset from having to deal with all of that but- running away? That’s a really big deal.” He tried to reason, running away with you sounded like a dream but he couldn’t just agree when it would mean you would be leaving your family and whole kingdom behind. You would be giving up so much to run away with him and it would be selfish of him to jump at the chance.

“Is it? Think about it! I'm never going to become queen or anything- especially since I refuse to marry any of those princes. It’s not like I have duties to fulfill, I’m practically just around for show at this point.” You argued as you brushed past him.

“I know but..” he weakly tried to argue but his feelings were stopping him from doing so. As your knight he had to pull some sense into you, but… as your lover he would want nothing more to be free with you. To love you openly and not have to worry about arranged marriages or sneaking around 24/7.

You grabbed a hold of his hand and smiled up at him with nothing but love in your eyes. “It may seem like some rash decision but this has crossed my mind many times before.” You spoke softly.

Your room was dark with only the moon to illuminate it just like it had the same night he made that promise to you when you were ten years old. The day he swore to become your knight and protect you forever.

“You remember what you said to me all those years ago. Right over there.” You said as your eyes turned to the window, he followed your gaze. Of course he remembers how he could ever forget? “You said all you ever wanted in life was to protect me and stay by my side forever and that’s all I want to. To be by your side. Forever.” You gazed into his eyes and he couldn’t help but admire the way the moon light bounced off your face, it was a breathtaking sight. You looked like a goddess, your skin was shining, your eyes sparkling.

He couldn’t believe that you were really his. That your heart belonged to him.

“Imagine how freeing it could be! We could go on adventures! See the world! Maybe someday settle down somewhere and start a family, but most of all we would no longer have to worry about princes or hiding our love. That’s all I want! Not riches or parties or fancy clothes, none of that matters to me when you’re around. You’re all I need.” You finished.

He must have been trying to hold it back but you still noticed the way his eyes gleamed with tears. You reached up a hand to cup his cheek and his larger hand came up to cover your own. “Then lets run away together.” He finally spoke.

His smile grew with yours as he leaned down to press a kiss to your lips. It was sweet, soft, innocent, a kiss made to seal a promise.

“I will stay by your side, forever and always, My princess.”

#mha midoriya #midoriya x reader #bnha midoriya #midoriya izuku #izuku midoryia #izuku midoria x reader #izuku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #bnha imagines #mha imagines #bnha scenarios #bnha scenario #mha scenario #mha scenarios #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #mha x reader #bnha x reader #midoriya izuku x reader

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keanuvibe · 4 years

Text

Noses in Roses (John Wick x Reader) Pt. 5 (Final)

A/N: okay yall, this is it. Im saying goodbye to the Noses in Roses universe ;-; I loved it, i loved writing for it. But sometimes you just gotta say bye :( (ps im the worst updater in the world!) (pps this was 10 pages in google docs omfg i need help yall. Do i write too much detail lol)

Words: 4.3k

Warnings: violence, killing, mentions of pregnancy

July 8th, 8:17PM

“Don’t forget, Heather needs a new toothbrush.” You mindlessly spoke to your husband, staring down at the phone in your hand. It was a rare summer evening where you and John had managed to find a sitter so you two could go on a date. It’s been since your third baby was conceived, so seven and a half months, since your last. With him constantly going out on jobs and you being a full-time mom, it was hard to find the moments in between.

“Should we stop at the grocery store?” John's gentle voice asked, resting his hand along your thigh. The two of you currently sat in his car, stuck in typical big city traffic. You’d already gone to dinner at some fancy, overly expensive restaurant in Manhattan and now were on your way back home. Looking up from your phone, your eyes met those of your husbands.

“Yeah, there's a few other things I need to grab anyways.” You hummed. John’s hand that donned your thigh gave it a gentle squeeze as his attention turned back towards the street. His car roared to life, when the light finally turned green, as he unnecessarily sped through the intersection. You could tell he was eager to get home. With his profession and the enemies he’s made, he prefers to keep you and the children home. That’s most of the reason as to why you hadn’t gone back to teach after Heather. Another part was the fact Helen is still out there. She’d already given you a run for your money once, and you certainly didn’t want to face that again.

Sure, it’s been four years since all that happened, but you still sat on the edge of your seat. John had vowed to kill the woman if she put a hand on either you or the kids. It was a nice thought, but the actual killing part left an unsettling sour taste in your mouth.

The man definitely keeps his work and home life separate as much as he can manage, but you recall so many late nights where he stumbled into bed covered in cuts and bruises. Sometimes he’d come home so stitched up he could barely move and you'd have to dress him or, in a rare case, feed him.

Your dark thoughts clouded your head and you blinked a few times, watching the passing lights of the city. The movement of John's hand gently placing itself on top of your own, which was resting on your large belly, caused you to look at him. His gaze was still facing the road, eyes occasionally blinking. He had tucked some hair behind his ear, exposing just how handsome his profile is. He’d let his beard become bushy, same as he did shortly after Heather was born. He donned a fresh scar from his most recent job on his cheekbone, though it’s hardly noticeable when his hair isn't tucked back. Subconsciously you squoze your fingers with his, intertwining your hands. They were rough and worn, but still somehow gentle to the touch.

“I can feel your stare,” His voice interrupted the silence.

“Sorry,” You spoke bashfully, averting your gaze to looking back out the window.

“What're you thinking about, darling?” Your husband pushed. His hand gave yours a squeeze, a silent showing of affection.

“A lot,” You responded with a sigh. The car pulled to a stop at a red light, prompting the man to look at you once again.

“Does it have to do with my job?” He murmured, carefully treading about the topic.

“Yes,” Your voice came out as only a whisper. This was an ongoing fight in your relationship, obviously. You can't count how many times you've gone to bed sour, or crying, or heartbroken because of his career. Sure, It paid for your lifestyle and the ability to comfortably raise your kids; but at the risk of losing John? It didn't feel worth it.

“Let’s not focus on that tonight, darling. You know I’m not going anywhere. And if I die, I'm going to haunt the house so you truly can't get rid of me.” John's light humor caused a little laughter to bubble up your throat.

“I’m going to hold you to that.” You mused, tapping him on the shoulder. A smile crossed his face as your eyes met. You still felt butterflies erupt in your belly when you two made eye contact. Just as they did when he first walked into your classroom all those years ago.

Cheesy music from the eighties echoed throughout the grocery store as you and John walked towards the pharmacy section. You pushed the cart while your husband followed beside you, his eyes warily looking around the semi-busy market.

Patrons eyes turned and gave you and John a look over, which wasn't uncommon when you were out in public together. He is a tall, brooding man, with his eyes always set in a glare unless he’s looking at you, the kids, and your new dog Winston. Their looks only prompted John to stand closer to your waddling figure. One of his hands firmly planted onto your back as you walked. It was a feeling of comfort for you and him; a physical reminder of the other.

“Do you think she’d like this one?” You murmured, stopping in front of the toothbrushes and grabbing a pink, sparkly one from the hook. Heather is going through a princess phase, requesting everything she owns to either be covered in sparkles or be pink and purple. It’s quite adorable, besides the fact that glitter manages to find its way into her small hands and then all over the house. You found glitter in the washing machine once, but only after you'd already done a load. John’s street clothes were sparkly for two weeks before all the glitter finally rinsed out.

“I'm sure she will.” John responded. You could feel his presence stiffen, signaling something was bothering him. Your eyes immediately looked up, trying to peep over the shorter aisle walls in the pharmacy. The store was semi-crowded for late evening, but not too bad. You glanced at the people walking past, looking to spot what had John on edge, but couldn't see.

The man's hand on your back gripped onto your dress a little tighter, as though he was keeping you close. Swallowing thickly, you looked back up to your husband. His brows were furrowed and his lips sat tight. You had to admit he looked pretty menacing. The only time you've had a glance of John Wick was when Helen kidnapped James. It’s as though he turns into a completely different John; like a switch he can easily flip if need be.

“What’s going on, baby?” You whispered just loud enough so your husband could hear. Upon hearing your voice, the man's hand loosened but his gaze didn't shift.

“I think she’s here.”

His response sent cold shivers through your veins and you frantically whipped your head around looking for the woman in question. You didn't have to ask to know who it was: Helen. Instinctively you stepped closer to John until your back was flush with his chest. His hand moved from your back and grabbed your arm instead, gripping tight enough to bruise.

“Let’s buy Heather’s toothbrush and leave.” John spoke, voice low. You quickly grabbed the toothbrush, abandoning the cart in the aisle. John walked ahead of you acting as a sort of shield, while you waddled behind trying your best to keep up. The grip on your arm was starting to hurt, as he was basically pulling you towards the checkout stands.

Approaching the self checkout, John let go of your arm, gesturing for you to scan and pay. He then turned his back to you, watching people on the surrounding machines. Swiftly scanning the toothbrush, you could feel the panic and mild horror coursing through your veins. It was beginning to feel overwhelming; The people, the noises, the music. Your head was starting to spin.

Once the receipt printed, John grabbed your hand intertwining your fingers tightly. The two of you made your way to the exit, but you kept your head down as a nauseating feeling passed over you. Stepping through the doors, John’s eyes kept glancing around the parking lot, wary of each person that passed.

“I think i'm going to be sick,” You murmured, putting your free hand to your head. You felt the clamminess of your skin, sweat from the summer heat only worsening the feeling.

“We're almost to the car, darling, just a few more steps.” John's voice was instantly soft at your claim. He adjusted his position, letting go of your hand and placing his own on your back, guiding you towards the vehicle.

Once you made it to his car, he quickly unlocked it and helped you in; following by climbing in himself. The quietness of the interior felt odd as the man put the key into the ignition, bringing his car to life.

“Hello, John.” The cocking of a gun caused you to turn your head, eyes widening as the sight of your husband's ex-wife holding a gun to his head.

“Helen.” The man responded, voice low. His gaze was fixated on the rear view mirror, looking at her sitting in the backseat. You could feel the anger radiating off his body.

“What, I don't get a nice greeting anymore?” The woman smirked, never moving the gun from its spot. John didn't bother to answer, he only stared at her with a heavy glare.

“Mrs. Wick, you look lovely. Expecting again I see.” Helen changed the topic, her gaze turning towards you. You felt a chill run down your spine as her eyes bore into your own. They were lifeless and cold as she carried a smirk across her perfectly painted lips.

“What do you want?” John took her attention from you, speaking up. Her eyes lingered, however, glancing down at your belly before looking back towards your husband.

“Oh, John. You never were one for pleasantries.” Helen mused, shaking her head. In her pause, you took the time to finally look at your husband. His gaze still remained forward, staring at Helen through the rear view mirror. His fists were clenched tightly onto the steering wheel, so tight his knuckles had turned white.

“Anyways, I just thought I’d pop in and see how you were doing without me. It’s been four years since our last run in, I missed you Jonathan.” She spoke, almost softly, but there was still an unsettling ring in her tone.

“With a family and everything, I figured you’d forgotten about me.” Helen pressed on, sighing after she spoke. “James probably misses his mother.”

“You were never his mother.” You found the courage to speak, anger beginning to boil your blood like hot water. Sure, James isn’t yours biologically, but he is your son and no one is allowed to claim your babies. Especially not the woman with a gun pointed towards your husband.

“Oh? I birthed him, did I not?” Helen coyed, cocking her head and looking towards you.

“You abandoned him, did you not?” You sneered back, eyes narrowing. Helen blinked, shocked you’d even snap back. Her mouth pursed tightly, clearly upset by your words. The gun in her hand pressed further into John’s head making your heart race; the man seemed unphased, however.

“Drive, John. I can’t kill you and your Bitch of a wife in a parking lot, that’s too obvious. Third Ave and Main.” The woman spoke, eyes glaring back towards your husband. John put the car into drive, pulling out of the grocery parking lot and onto the street. His knuckles were still white from gripping on the steering wheel so tightly.

“You know, Heather has grown up to be quite cute, I must admit.” Helen chimed, eyes staring directly towards you. She's trying to get a rise from you, finding it amusing. A little smirk covered her face, seeing you and John both clench your jaws.

“Do not talk about my daughter.” John finally spoke, voice low.

“Last time I checked, she isn’t even yours.” Helen mused before continuing on, “Right, (Y/N)? Your dead ex-husband's kid? Does she even know her real father’s name?” The woman pressed on.

You and John remained silent, swallowing the anger that was threatening to release. There was no point in wasting your energy and playing the woman's mind games. Heather does not need to know her real father, for John has been the best dad to her since the moment she was born. Even before that, when you were pregnant, he loved her. Plus, Helen’s nose doesn't belong in your personal business.

The remainder of the drive wasn't too long as location actually wasn't too far from the grocery store. John pulled into the parking lot of a warehouse. The building stood surrounded by other warehouse types, however they were smaller and looked to be falling apart. Big machinery littered the area as well, clearly having not been used for years as rust had begun to decay them. The street lamps were dim, near the end of their lifespan; leaving the place ill lit.

“You remember this place?” Helen murmured, looking at your husband. You could sense this area didn't bring back happy memories, judging by the stiffness of John's person.

“Turn the car off, and slowly exit the vehicle.” She spoke, tight lipped. The two of you willingly complied, climbing out of the vehicle slowly just as asked. Your mind couldn't help but wander; thinking about Heather and James at home. You only prayed that Helen didn't get their first and that they're still okay. The babysitter is probably curious as to where you two had gone. It's already late, nearing ten o’ clock according to the watch donning your wrist.

“Lean against the car, hands behind your backs.” Your kidnapper hissed. You and John did as she asked; you leaning against the passenger side, while John leaned against the driver side. She pulled a thick zip tie from her pocket, swiftly tightening it around Johns' wrists first. She then stepped over to your figure, grasping your arms and tightening the restraints around your own.

Furrowing your brows from the pain of the zip tie digging into your skin, you weakly looked up eyes met those of Johns. He couldn't say what he wanted, but his eyes told you everything he needed. He’s going to get you out of this, one way or another.

“Into the building, let's go.” Helen spoke, shoving the gun into your spine, urging you to walk. Your heart picked up in speed noting the second weapon she had unsheathed. She now had two, the one against your spine and the original pointed towards John again.

Approaching the warehouse doors, she urged John to slide it open. The man turned around and awkwardly slid the doors open with his hands still bound. Helen then ushered the two of you in, her gun jabbing your spine unpleasantly. The inside was large and mostly empty, save for some abandoned equipment, a few small shipping containers and some scaffolding. Moonlight shone in through some windows that were high up on the wall, giving some light to the large dark room. You noticed two chairs in the middle of the space as well, probably where you and John were to sit.

“Sit.” Helen then spoke as soon as you reached the seats. With force, the woman shoved you into the rickety fold up, causing you to nearly fall backward.

“Touch her like that again and I’ll kill you.” John spoke, his words filled with venom and threat yet he somehow remained mostly monotone. Helen merely stared at the man before laughing, shoving him into the seat as well.

“Don't tell me what to do.” She then replied, sheathing the second gun and leaving only one in her grasp.

“What do you want from us?” You questioned weakly, eyes veering up to meet your kidnapper. The woman seemed to be pleased by the tone in your voice; as it is so clearly beaten and broken. Hell, you’re also heavily pregnant and the sick feeling you felt earlier still hadn’t gone away.

Helen's perfectly painted lips pursed into a smirk, crossing her arms at the same time. She stood in front of you, bending over to meet your eyes. Your heart raced, but you didn’t dare break eye contact. You are strong, and you aren’t going to let this woman belittle you.

“I want to kill you, (Y/N).” The way she answered was filled with delight and amusement. “I want to watch life leave your eyes as John screams in anger.”

“You really need therapy.” You spit back, causing the woman to stand up straight and step back. She let out a snort of laughter, haphazardly waving the weapon in her hand around.

“They tried. Didn’t you, John? You and Aurelio.” She mused, beginning to pace in a circle around your sitting figures. “It’s for your own good, Helen.” The woman's voice mocked, “‘You are sick’, ‘You are a threat to yourself and others.’’’

“I couldn’t see you get hurt.” John finally spoke up. You looked over to your husband to see his head drooped in defeat. You’d never seen him so broken before, this wasn’t anger, it was sadness. The man had to process his past, something he’s been running from for years.

“You couldn’t handle me becoming a better assassin than you.” Helen retorted. “Our whole relationship, you tried to put me into a box. I’m not some little housewife, John.”

“That’s not true.” The man responded, finally raising his head. Helen had returned to standing in front of you, arms folding once again.

“Whatever, I’m still going to kill you in the end.” The woman spoke, shrugging her shoulders. “And after I’m finished with you, I’m going after your children.” Immediately, your eyes cast to your husband wide with fear. You could see the defeat leaving his expression as rage began to fill it instead. His brows furrowed, forming an angry crease as he looked up through his lashes to meet Helen’s amused face. She struck a chord, and it was obvious.

Without a blink, John raised from his chair charging Helen and knocking her over, prompting the two of them to fall onto the ground. The gun in her hand flew from her grasp, landing by your feet. Standing up as well, you kicked the gun closer to your hands, leaning down awkwardly to grab it.

John maneuvered his body so his cuffs and arms now were in front instead of behind his back, giving him more of an advantage. Helen swiftly stood too, pulling out her second gun and pointing it towards your husband. The man reacted, using the restraints to pull the gun from her grasp, sending it flying across the room. He then quickly jabbed her in the throat, causing her to choke and falter back slightly. Grabbing onto her shirt, he then kicked her shin following by flinging the two of them to the ground, putting her into a choke hold using his legs.

The woman retaliated, however, squirming her way out of his grasp. They stood up in unison again and Helen began to hit his side, catching him off guard. She then used the zip tie handcuffs to her advantage, holding onto them as she swiped under his feet, knocking him to the ground. She then straddled him, trying to get any hit in she could, however John was quick to kick her off.

In the meantime, you frantically looked around for a sharp object to cut your ties. Nearby sat a pile of old tools, rusted and decaying. Making your way over and searching the area, you found an old hand saw with some chipped blades. Bending down to your knees, your back faced the saw as you searched blindly for the blade; due to your hands still being bound. The rusted blade cut into your forearm from your search, prompting a whimper of pain to escape your throat. Blood began to pour down your skin, dripping onto the ground. Biting your lip and pushing aside the pain, you began to saw at the restraint until the zip ties finally broke free.

Standing back up, you grabbed the gun that had fallen from Helen and made your way back over to them. The grunts and groans of their fighting persisted, and you saw that Helen had managed to find a piece of old tarp. She wrapped it around John’s throat, causing him to thrash around in an attempt to rid himself of it.

“Let go of him!” You yelled, shakily pointing the gun towards the two of them. Your voice caused them to pause and stare into your direction. John saw the blood dripping from the cut on your forearm and furrowed his brows with concern. Helen let out a manic laugh, tightening the tarp around John’s throat which prompted the man to squirm a bit more.

Time felt slowed as the scene unfolded in front of you. Staring into your husband's eyes, he gave you a gentle nod, as though he was giving you permission. Your grip was still shaky, but you aimed the best you could and closed your eyes; pulling the trigger.

A body slumped to the floor, but the ringing in your ear clouded most sounds. Your eyes still remained shut, too scared to face whatever the outcome was. The tarp sound crinkled throughout the warehouse and footsteps approached your figure.

“Darling, it’s alright,” John’s soothing voice echoed. Finally dropping the heavy weapon, a sob escaped your throat. Your husband gently pulled you into his arms, his chin resting atop your head and arms wrapped around your body. He began whispering gentle reassurances, turning you so you couldn’t see Helen’s dead body on the ground.

---

A warm early morning breeze caused you to blink and look down at the decaf coffee in your hands. Your eyes wandered to the bandage wrapping your forearm; a grim reminder of the events that occurred last week.

You killed someone.

Granted, a bad someone, but she was still somebody.

Returning home that evening wasn’t an easy feat. You had passed out from the loss of blood and the overall shock. John told you that he got you home safely and stitched you up to avoid hospitals. Somehow, he’d also kept you hidden from the kids and the babysitter.

Every night since then, when you close your eyes you hear the bang of the gun and the body slumping to the ground. You didn’t actually see her body, which you’re grateful for. But the sounds still haunted you. Of course you hadn’t told John how you felt. How could he relate anyways? He does this for a living, the pain and emotional baggage probably doesn’t even affect him anymore.

“Mommy! James caught a snake!” Heather's eager voice broke your thoughts, and you blinked, looking at your children with Winston walking alongside them. Sure enough, in your son's grasp was a small garden snake.

“Oh gross, baby, go throw it over the fence.” You responded, shaking your head in amusement. James has really come to enjoy the local wildlife that wandered, more like slithered, around.

“But it’s cool!” He defended, holding it closer to your figure.

“Don’t bother your mother, you know she doesn’t like snakes.” John spoke, coming through the sliding glass doors to the backyard. He too carried a cup of coffee, still donning his pajamas. You gave him a gentle smile, then turned your attention back to the kids. A chorus of sorry’s came from the two of them before they ran over to the fence; Winston close behind.

“How’re you this morning?” John murmured, pulling up a chair next to yours.

“I didn’t sleep well,” You sighed, eyes greeting Johns. He furrowed his brow with concern, tucking some hair behind his ear.

“Darling, is there more going on than what you’re telling me?” He asked, getting straight to the point.

“I’m just haunted.” You spoke softly, casting your eyes back down to your coffee. A gentle sigh came from your husband before a hand rested on your thigh.

“I struggle with that every day.” He responded, causing you to look back up at him.

“You do?” You questioned, raising a brow.

“Yes. But I put on a brave face and conquer the day the best I can.” John replied, scooting closer and grasping your hand into his own.

“I know she was bad, but-”

“Correct. She was, and you did the right thing.” John cut you off before you could justify anything. “The kids are safe because of you. We are safe because of you. It had to be done.”

You nodded, feeling a lump begin to form in your throat. Your mind has been so clouded by the negatives, you forgot to remember the positives that had come from that. Both you and John are alive, and your kids. Resting a hand on your belly, you felt the baby squirming around, another reminder of the good you'd done.

“It still hurts,” Your voice broke as you spoke, and a gentle tear rolled down your cheek. John was quick to wipe it away. Gently grasping your chin, he raised your face until your eyes met.

“I know a therapist for my profession. I’ll call her for you. She’s helped me through a lot. ” He spoke softly. You nodded, sniffling and wiping your eyes. Things could only go up from here. The main threat to yours and John’s future is gone, and your kids can grow up only knowing love. Your baby can be born and know nothing of the pain that you have gone through. Maybe now, your family can know peace.

“I love you, Mrs. Wick.”

“I love you too, Mr. Wick.”

#john wick x reader #john wick x you #john wick fanfic #john wick fanfiction #keanu reeves x reader #keanu x you #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #john wick

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hearthandhomemagick · 3 years

Text

Cottage Witch Journal Entry - Post Yule & Christmas

Okay, so far this forum of mine has discussed some very off the wall topics that invade my head throughout the day. Some very self destructive thoughts, and some self awareness thoughts. Thoughts on religion, video games, spirituality. Hell, I may even choose to discuss sexual exploration in the future. Who knows? All I know is that after looking back at some of my posts, I’m starting to realize how chaotic one individuals thoughts can be. How genuinely complex a humans life and mind can truly be.

Think about it, if you’ve read my posts in the past, regarding witchcraft, self care, self love, eating awareness, hyperawareness, overthinking, and so on and so forth, then you would think you’d be able to point me out in a crowd.

The truth is, you wouldn’t. A great deal of my writing is simply the regurgitation of my persistent, sometimes unrelenting, thoughts. I’m noticing the complexities of humanity, and it’s beautiful and tragic all at once.

Last time we spoke, I discussed in a mini post that Judy Alvarez was mine for the taking a staple of independence and power to me and that getting my power back was of high priority to me. It’s been a few days, but this still remains a significant thought in my head. I find myself becoming more and more enthralled by her character and persona, drawn into why I relate to her as much as I do. Then, I noticed the underwater life she loves so much, and am reminded of the blue jellyfish behind my left ear. I see her whale tattoo and think of the same one I have under my left boob. I think of how I wanted to shave the right side of my head similar to Judy’s hair back in High School and my mom telling me it wouldn’t look good. And finally, I think of her selflessness, and her need to help a traumatized soul, and how I used to be a Sexual Violence Outreach Advocate, just trying to help a traumatized soul. I relate to her in more ways than one, as silly and stupid as it sounds, and these may be extremely minute to notice, but important for me.

My boyfriend and I had a few conversations this weekend, all separate times, that really pinned me to myself. One conversation, he asked me what exactly I believed, in that moment, when it came to religion and spirituality. From there we got into a lengthy discussion (mostly my fault) where I explained my thoughts in detail. One quote I said stood out (I was also stoned so when I said it, it came out as a surprise to me as well), for I digress from the want to overexplain myself.

As I told my boyfriend, Hyperawareness will destroy a man before it enlightens him. And this year, Hyperawareness seemed to be the proprietor of my mind, for it most definitely would have destroyed me had I continued.

Another conversation we had, which we both agreed to, was the power of our physical bodies directly correlating to past experiences we’ve had with other humans. Also, our relationship with unsustainable lifestyles.

Example, my body issues are founded on the idea that I wasn’t allowed to be a tomboy and play sports or take karate or MMA Fighting classes, but I also wasn’t perceived as delicate and pretty because of my weight/I was bigger than other girls. I was discouraged from doing the physical things I was interested in, and gave up as a result.

Those experiences have perpetuated in many areas of my life as well. In High School, I chose Shop as my number one elective and Weight Training as my second. They chose to put me in Theatre and Intensive Reading instead (Intensive Reading is a class kids take when they make below average on state wide tests). Now, my first choices were classes I felt would develop my character and reflect the life I wanted to live, and I was told it was a bit manly for me to choose those classes. Now, as an adult, I don’t go out of my way to work on mechanics, even though it’s an interest of mine and I haven’t done weight lifting because I thought I’d look like a man. False ideas.

When you are denied your own personality as a child, and don’t realize that is what is happening because it is still happening, it becomes a spiral of what options do you actually have? You become an open book for others influences to freely write in, because you want to be your own independent self but you don’t even know who or how that person is. So, for a while when I got out of High School I was clinging to others personalities in an attempt to find myself. That’s not a good way of doing it, either.

I lived to please, so when people called me Sunshine, I figured the Sun didn’t wear a lot of black and didn’t act like a man.

Reality check, I was overthinking it.

I should dress and live how I see fit, regardless of the typical aesthetic. Fuck the idea that I have to subscribe to one aesthetic anyways. If I want to own a Bee Hive, a Cottage in the Mountains by the river with a tiny self sustaining garden, all while wearing black alternative outfits that somewhat line the aesthetic of post apocalyptical, then fuck yes I’m going to be a gentle, bright, motorcycle loving, knife wielding, MMA Fighting, Yoga and Meditation doing, soft spoken bad bitch.

Here’s the thing, I haven’t even bought myself clothes this year, because people were literally buying clothes for me. WHICH I AM EXTREMELY GRATEFUL FOR!!!! But, over the weekend I got rid of a lot of those clothes because they restrict my personality, I never wear them or they don’t fit anymore.

After the lengthy conversations, we both agreed that our youthful selves are not finished being fully alive. We didn’t stop being young once we got out of High School, we stopped being young when we started saying we were too old. So, we are starting to set goals together. Getting rid of old clothes was the first step, and we took into consideration that we are still individuals just helping each other accomplish a common goal, so the next step is our physical selves.

The plan is to clean out our storage room and transform it into a self-care/training area. Together, we will start the P90X after work on some days, while I try to keep up with yoga on my off days. This month, being aware of what I eat without the focus of losing weight has helped me actually lose weight. Now, focusing on my workout regime is the goal. Not to lose weight, but to be able to start MMA Fighting Classes.

MMA Fighting is something I started in High School right before going to college, but never finished. It’s something I want to commit to so as to release anger while Yoga will help me process my anger. So, healthy eating to support energy, and healthy workouts! I have also been having more endometriosis pain than usual, so avoiding my health won’t help me!

Spiritual wise, I want to focus on my better self. I want to put more effort into me rather than letting myself go in a world of people who don’t care if my personality exists or not. I want to be open, strong and powerful in what I believe. I want to own my shit, and fuck anyone who wants to stop that type of Sunshine. In the words of Meghan Thee Stallion, “Fuck being good, I’m a bad bitch. I’m sick of motherfuckers tryna tell me how to live.”

I’m inconvenient, and I’m happy with that. I’m not perfect, but I’m a process. I’m not weak and quiet, I’m strong and silent.

This specific post is a reclamation of my power. Somewhere along the road of this shitty adult life, I forgot the beauty in my own power. I’m equal, not less than.

Thank you for reading, if you did. This is, again, one of those things where I am journaling my thoughts, and trying to go over everything in my head without going crazy. If you thought this was annoying, just remember I deleted 5 paragraphs before posting, because I was overthinking and didn’t want to overexplain. (I do everything in copious quantities). If it bothered you, look past my post. If you related, let’s talk about it. All in all, thank you for being alive, darling. I’ll see you later!

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ghostofbambifanfiction · 4 years

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So motivated by anyone who shares they are working on losing weight. FYI 10kg is nothing to sniff at, esp. if you're not being too restrictive (as a lot of restrictive diets basically make you lose water weight at first, prob not your case). Keep it up!! If you don't mind answering, what are your goals?

I don’t mind, but I’m putting it under a cut because it’s going to be a looooooonnnnng ass ramble and I’m going to include some pics and I’m aware that I’ve already clogged everyone’s timelines with enough pictures today. Before I go off on my tangent, though, I want to make it really clear that I firmly believe that any person can be beautiful and love the way they look at any size. This is something that I am fighting very hard to believe about myself, too, regardless of what weight I am. I am not at all a believer in slimming down for the sake of vanity (despite my negative opinion of my own looks, vanity has never been a big enough motivator for me to lose weight), but this has progressed to the point where vanity isn’t even a consideration anymore.

Okay, so, backstory. When I first moved to England, I weighed 140lbs (63.5kg) and I looked like THIS ↓

Aren’t I BEAUTIFUL? I think so, even if nobody else does, I think so. I think so now. That part matters.

I can distinctly remember that when all three of these photos were taken, you see. I also distinctly remember looking at each one afterwards and thinking, “Fat, repulsive, disgusting.” Fat, repulsive, disgusting. That was my opinion of myself. I repeated those words in my head on a daily basis. I truly believed them. Hence, I’m wearing the same ugly cardigan in two of those pictures, because whenever I wore pretty clothes I felt so undeserving that I was compelled to cover them up with something ugly (the red dress is an anomaly because there was a dress code involved). EVERY TIME. It practically become automatic. “I’ve spent £40 on this dress, so what can I cover it with?” was basically my mantra. It was fine, I thought, because I didn’t care about pretty clothes. Liking pretty clothes was beneath me. This was a lie. I love pretty clothes. I love bright colours. I was drawing pictures of pretty gowns and tiaras from the age of six. But hey, easier to pretend that you don’t give a shit about pretty dresses than admit that you don’t feel worthy of wearing them.

I am seven whole-ass years older now, and I topped out at 283lbs (128kg) on the scales fives weeks ago. That is the heaviest I have ever been. I have doubled my body weight. By medical standards, I am extremely obese, and I’ve had seven whole-ass years to think on how I behaved back then. I’ve thought a lot about how much I hated my body and how undeserving I felt and how I stuffed myself full of junk food and said it didn’t matter because I was repulsive anyway, so why not? I wasn’t being kind to myself. How can I be a kind person if I don’t treat myself kindly? My own self-loathing has cost me my health, because in 2013, I didn’t need to take stomach tablets every day. I wasn’t vomiting a few times a week because of chronic digestive issues. I had regular periods. I lived in Sunderland and would get out of bed on my days off and walk three miles to Seaburn beach, just to hang out with a book and build sandcastles and paddle in the water and thoroughly enjoy my life. I had the ability to do that without wanting to collapse. I had the energy to write for hours on end without getting sleepy after forty minutes. I had lots of energy, lots of it!

I don’t have the luxury of enjoying any of that stuff now. I have lethargy and sluggishness and I get breathless walking up the stairs, and a huge part of that is because I have gained so much weight over the years, and because I have been eating things that specifically exacerbate my digestive issues. And I’m sick of it. My brother’s lottery win has been the most insane blessing to my family in that it is allowing us all to live out our wildest travelling dreams, and I don’t want to be the person who takes an eight hour flight to Paradise, only to sit around and do nothing because she just doesn’t have the strength. There is an eleven-year-old diamond in my life who I would do anything for, and I want more than anything to be able to bring him places and have fun with him and partake, instead of sitting on the sidelines holding coats because I am too fat to ride the rollercoaster (which happened to me, FYI, shout out to Port Aventura for sticking to safety measures, though the woman manning the coaster didn’t have to poke my thigh and say, “fat,” to make her point clear).

The thing is, and maybe this is a tl;dr moment that could have saved me a lot of trouble, but I am unhealthy and I’m tired and this is like...my life. My one life. What am I doing? I owe it to myself to treat my body better.

So these are my aims.

I want to get back to 140lbs. That is a healthy and reasonable weight for my height and body type. I am aware that I will not look the way I did in 2013 because I am seven years older, but I don’t care. I am aware that I will have loose skin and a belly and wobbly thighs when I reach this weight, but I don’t care. I will have energy. I will be healthier. I will be able to bring my stepson to all kinds of places and have the most fun with him.

No fad diets ever. This is all I’ve ever tried before, and the end result has always been the same: lose a bit and put it back on. I am making legitimate and incremental changes to my lifestyle. I am building lasting habits. I will weigh myself once a week to keep track of how I’m doing, but never more than that. I will exercise every day for a small amount of time, but if I miss a day for any reason, I won’t beat myself up about it. I will not skip meals. I will not deprive myself of food.

I am an excellent cook and I love trying new things, so I will be using that skill to find and experiment with new, delicious recipes from all over the world for my family to eat. Once lockdown ends, I’m going to start throwing dinner parties. I think this will really help me to change my attitude towards food and make meals fun for me, rather than a self-inflicted punishment.

No denying myself things. If I want to get a McDonalds I will get a McDonalds because, y’know what? Tomorrow I am going to have lots of veggies and cook myself a good, nutritious dinner, and that McDonalds won’t be anything but a delicious interlude in my week that I am not going to feel bad about.

No hiding myself in drab clothes. I hate wearing brown, grey and black and yet it accounts for most of my wardrobe. Both of those cardigan pics were taken in the middle of summer. I have wasted years of my life sweating it out in long sleeves and leggings so other people wouldn’t see, and for who? For what purpose? I am going to buy all the pretty clothes I like, wear loads of bright colours. Fuck it, it’s just for me.

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neshatriumphs · 4 years

Text

IX. Soul Mates

Lucy was the first one out of bed and working on things in the room whenever Simon stirred. “She sleeps hard. You won’t wake her,” she said, not facing him. He was startled by her voice, not expecting her, then he looked around, seeing Grace curled up into his side, dried tear stains on her cheeks, blood and dirt in her clothes - and last night came flooding over him like the blood that shed from Samantha’s body. He had for a moment forgotten that everything in his life had been a lie… that he had nothing else left…

“What, do you have eyes in the back of your head or something?” he asked, irritated as he tried to separate himself from Grace without waking her.

“Just the one,” Lucy said, deadpan. He was startled again. Surely, she was joking. Probably had some kind of magic to check on her surroundings.… “Whenever Grace tried to heal what your raid did to my eye, she messed up. It wound up literally in the back of my head. We’re the only three people who know that.” Simon frowned and he came over. She parted the hair in the back of her head and he jumped back with a yelp. Surely… there was an eye! “You think it startled you? You should have seen when I discovered that I was like this.”

“Ugh… Can she fix it?” He asked, covering it back up with her hair.

“I’m used to it now. It gives me an advantage, most of the time and only had my balance and stuff off until I mastered the new me. Besides, I would never ask anything else of her. You saw what happened last night.” They both looked at Grace and Lucy added, “I know that you think you’re the center of the universe right now, but she’s going through a lot too. Soul mates and all that.”

He wasn’t even going to argue with the rest of it. Grace had a bad night, surely. Seeing her live through the pain of being stabbed by a conductor’s dagger was terrifying. But, she hadn’t actually lost anyone, and certainly not the last person she had. “I don’t fucking understand what that even means.”

Lucy sighed and she folded her arms. “It’s sort of like a magical dating engine. The magic looks out into your future and reveals the person best suited for you, and someone tells the royals and nobles. There are oracles whose ONLY job is to prophecy soul mates for them.”

“So, it’s not destiny. It’s just a presumption.”

“No. It’s more than that. Because without it, non magic people… and some magic ones, I guess… they marry whoever, or date whoever. They wind up going through ugly relationships and being hurt or disappointed. These people never have to do that, unless of course something happens to their soulmate, or they aren’t able to be with them. But, after an oracle gives the prophecy, usually, the royals will tether those souls, to draw them together. They call it intertwining their destinies.”

“So, it isn’t a presumption. It’s orchestrated.”

“Look, if you don’t like Grace, I’m sure the Queen will find someone to untether you. She doesn’t like you.”

“No!” Simon shook his head, “That’s not… I’m trying to understand it. understand why my choices in life aren’t my own. Why I’m trapped between being with someone or trying to kill her.” Lucy brandished her weapon and pointed it at him. He flicked his finger and it flew from her little hands. “I obviously didn’t mean right now, Lucy.” He had his hand opened, summoned the weapon back and handed it to her. She stared at him, suspiciously. “What, were you just waiting for a reason to attack me?”

“Things were better when you didn’t exist to us.” She put her weapon away and checked on Grace. “We knew what we were going to do. Now, we have to try to refigure things. Her soul mate is damaged. Tainted by fake magic. That means SHE’S tainted, too. She’s tethered, and even if she weren’t… you aimed to kill her.”

“I didn’t know. Anyway, this is the Queen’s fault. She put me in Amelia’s clutches in the first place by cursing me!”

“I’ll be sure to tell the spirits the next time I pay my respects to my destroyed village.”

He kneeled next to Lucy and she reached for her weapon again. He pushed it right back into the sheath and said, “I am truly sorry… I’m not used to that feeling…”

She sighed and replied, “It isn’t orchestrated, either. Imagine that someone custom ordered a person to be the love of your life, the Queen and the King created the order for you, put it on hold and labeled it yours. So that whenever you finally come to pick it up, you automatically have everything you wanted, and its reserved for you.”

“What the hell is this analogy? What is a custom order?”

“Does… do the Conductor realms really not have markets?”

“Markets? Like… in storybooks?”

“Wow. Okay, how do you get supplies?”

“Raid the One’s realms.”

“For fuck’s sake.”

“Hey! Don’t use that language with me. I don’t care if you use it, but not with me. But, please… what the fuck is a market?”

“We go there with payment. We give them payment. They give us supplies.”

“Wait… So… they just let you take what they have in exchange for something else? Is it like the fair?”

“Sort of… But, there’s usually a price, and we usually have at least an idea of what we intend to buy. Like… say that someone wanted a dress like Grace’s. A person who makes dresses very nicely would make a dress like Grace’s, and the someone could go to them with the amount that they tell them the dress is worth, give them that amount and take the dress.”

“I guess… I don’t understand the work you put into this. Is the dress maker a skilled fighter and deadly wizard? Can they thwart a raid?”

“No,” Lucy said through her teeth. “The dressmaker doesn’t fight. She. Makes. Dresses.”

“How does she keep them if she can’t fight?”

“You know what, forget it. Also, I’m definitely gonna be using the word fuck if I have to explain basic lifestyle to you.” Grace began to stir as Simon was about to give her a piece of his mind, so he went silent. Lucy strummed Grace’s face and Grace settled back into sleeping and drooling. Lucy shook her head. “Gross.”

“I think it’s kinda cute…” Simon said. Lucy glared at him. “So… what did she mean when she said that you’re her heiress?”

Lucy took a deep breath. “That doesn’t matter anymore. She has you now. A real heir will soon come.”

Simon looked deep in thought, “I didn’t come here to take more away from you… I didn’t even… I just… I wish Samantha was here…” He said, tears welling in his eyes as his mind was vividly reminded of how she looked the last time he saw her, that graphic burned into his memory.

“I get that. I wish that my mommy hadn’t been killed in front of me, too,” Lucy said. She had A LITTLE sympathy for him, but only a little. “I have work to do. I’m going to trust you two at least to not make your heir while I’m gone.”

“I’m mourning,” Simon said, with a scoff.

“I’ve heard that’s how people mourn sometimes,” she said, with a shrug. A few birds later, she was gone. Simon curled up around Grace again and he couldn’t sleep, even though he hadn’t gotten any rest when he had slept, but, he at least wasn’t alone. He somehow felt like that was the one upside. The one thing to hold on to. He wasn’t alone.

“I’m going to kill Amelia,” he said, to nobody, as Grace was sleep, Samantha was dead and Lucy had left. He didn’t even realize that the pendant was still in Grace’s possession. That Amelia had heard everything. That she was already about to give the treacherous prince his chance to try.

#AU Infinity Train #Infinity Train #Nesha Fanfiction #Infinity Train Fanfiction #fics #Intertwined by Nesha

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petersasteria · 4 years

Text

168 Hours - Haz Osterfield AU (Prologue)

Pairing: Haz x Reader

Haz Osterfield Masterlist || Ultimate Masterlist || 168 Hours Masterlist

DISCLAIMER: *This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.*

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: In which your son’s wish comes true and it turns horrible. Now, he has to fix it in 168 hours.

The city is crowded today. It's filled with tourists, families, businessmen and businesswomen, teenagers hanging out with their friends, couples on a lovely date, single people enjoying life, a couple getting married in a church nearby. All kinds of people are in the city.

Y/N is out with her best friend this lovely afternoon. They're shopping for all things for weddings, because she's getting married this week to her fiancé, Thomas Stanley Holland.

Thomas Stanley Holland is such a... man. He's a rich and cocky boy who gets whatever he wants. He'll soon inherit his father's furniture company and he'll be getting married this week. He's marrying Y/N, his long time girlfriend.

Y/N Y/L/N isn't sure what to feel. She doesn't know if it's a good idea to marry her long time boyfriend. They've been together for four years. She just graduated from university with the course of interior design. She loves Tom. No, she loved him. She loved him before, but as time went on, Tom changed. She doesn't even know how she was able to get a rich man like Tom.

Her lifestyle is totally different from his. His weekends consisted of lavish parties, random getaways at small countries, drinking the most exquisite champagne, eating sumptuous food, trying delicacies from foreign countries and sometimes just staying at his palace like house with his family. His best friend, Bradley Simpson, is a frequent visitor of the Holland estate.

She and Tom met at a clothing shop. She didn't know what to buy, because she's torn between two rompers. She loved both of it, but her budget is only for one romper. Tom saw her and offered to buy her the rompers and in return, she'd go out to dinner with him. One date turned into two and two turned into three and before she knew it, he was asking her to be his girlfriend. She loved him and said yes. Their first date as boyfriend and girlfriend was at Italy. She thought it was too much, but he insisted.

But somewhere in the middle something just changed.

"So Y/N, are you ready to get married?!" her best friend, Saoirse, asked, her eyes filled with excitement. Y/N smiled at her and just nodded, not saying another word. Saoirse noticed this, but she didn't want to push it so she continued to ramble, "Let's go to the book shop!"

They immediately enter the nearest book shop and she allowed yourself to get lost along the rows of shelves with books of romance or thrillers. She was walking past the shelf whilst skimming through the spine of the books when she tripped over something. Or someone, rather. The person scrambled up to help her and she looked to see who it was and it was a guy about her age. He was tall with dark blonde hair, striking blue eyes, and a sheepish smile on his face, "I'm so sorry about that. I knew I shouldn't have sat on the floor. It's just that my feet are hurting and I'm so engrossed with the book I'm reading so I-"

"It's okay." she chuckled. "I wasn't watching where I was going. I wasn't hurt anyway."

She didn't believe in love at first sight, but she did now. They shyly smiled at each other and just stood in front of each other.

"So, uh, can I- can I get your number?" the guy asked, scratching the back of his neck as his gaze fell to his shoes.

"I don't even know your name." she smirked. The guy smiled at her, "Harrison Osterfield. And you are?"

"Y/N Y/L/N." she grinned. She reached for her calling card in her bag and gave it to Harrison. "Call me, okay?"

"Okay, princess." Harrison winked as he handed her his calling card too. "So, are you from around here or-"

"Y/N, what are you doing?!" she turned around and saw Saoirse with raised eyebrows. "You're getting married this week and you're flirting with some guy who's," Saoirse looked at Harrison up and down, "no offense, not as near as Tom's status! You're lucky you won't end up with- with...what's your name?"

"Harrison."

"Harrison!" Saoirse exclaimed, looking at Y/N. "He seems great and all, but he's not Tom. This is just a temptation thing, because you're settling down soon and you want a last fling."

"We have to go." Saoirse said as she walked out of the book shop. Y/N looked at Harrison, "I'm so-"

"You didn't tell me that you were engaged." Harrison frowned. He could've sworn he heard his heart breaking into millions of pieces.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but in all honesty, I felt something between us. I swear." Y/N frowned.

"Okay, if you say so." Harrison shrugged it off. "I got to go anyway." He gathered his stuff and grabbed the book he was previously reading. He walked to the counter, paid for the book, and left. Y/N sighed and walked out to see Saoirse standing by the door.

"I still don't understand why you were talking to him." Saoirse rolled her eyes as she and Y/N continue their errands.

Y/N and Harrison have been texting for the past six days and today is Y/N's wedding day. She felt so bad for getting close with another man and falling for the said man. But she wasn't happy with Tom anymore.

Haz Congratulations! Today's your wedding. Have fun x Wish I could be there, but I'm not invited lmao and I'm running errands today.

Y/N smiled at the text but immediately frowned when her father entered the dressing room to tell her "it's time to get married". She turned off her phone and puts it in her purse and gave it to her maid of honor.

"I can't believe you're signing up for the rest of your life at 21 years old." Y/N's dad smiled. "You're not a little girl anymore and I trust you, but just know that I'm always here for you, pumpkin. I love you."

"I love you too, dad." Y/N smiled as they left the dressing room.

After the entourage, everyone turned to the big door where Y/N is coming in. The doors opened and Y/N came in with her father. Tom smiled proudly and Bradley excitedly pats Tom's shoulder.

"This is it, man." Bradley whispered.

"Yup. I can't fucking wait. We're going to Santorini after this." Tom whispered, his gaze not leaving Y/N.

Y/N and her father reached the altar. Tom shook hands with Y/N's father and her father told Tom to take care of her. Tom nodded and smiled. Tom and Y/N stood in their places in front of the priest. Y/N's thoughts are elsewhere. Meaning, her thoughts were on Harrison and what he's doing.

"If anyone wants to object, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Y/N nervously looked around and gulped. Tom doesn't look around, because he knew no one would even dare.

Or so he thought.

"I object." Y/N said. Everyone gasped and Tom's jaw dropped. Bradley's eyes widen in shock and pats Tom's back, a subtle way of letting him know that he's there for him.

"Wha- Why?!" Tom asked with confusion written all over his face.

Y/N took a deep breath and looked in Tom's eyes. Those brown eyes she once loved are now replaced with blue eyes owned by the new man she loves.

"You're just having cold feet, love." Tom desperately tried to change Y/N's mind.

"I'm so sorry, Tom." Y/N cried. "I don't love you anymore and I realized that I can't marry you while pretending to love you. It wouldn't be fair to you."

"I also know about what happened in Prague. I know you slept with someone. I just acted like I didn't know, but I can't stay with you and let you think I'm stupid and that I wouldn't know or find out. I also know it wasn't a one time thing and that's when I started not loving you... it hurt a lot, Tom."

Y/N looked at Bradley and said, "You knew about him sleeping with different girls every time he's out of the country and you never had the decency to tell me. I treated you like a friend and you couldn't even do the right thing."

Bradley just looked down in shame.

She turned back to Tom, "I tried everything I could to love you again, but I couldn't anymore. I'm sorry."

With that, she took her purse from her maid of honor and ran away.

Tom just stood there with tears streaming down his face. He felt humiliated and he felt bad for being so insensitive to what Y/N was feeling.

Y/N's father looked at Tom and shook his head.

Y/N ran through the city in hopes that she would run into the man she fell in love with. Fate seemed to be on her side, though. As she turned right, she bumped into someone's chest. They held Y/N so she doesn't fall.

"I'm so- Y/N?! What are you doing here?"

She looked up and smiled, "Harrison!"

"Aren't you supposed to get married?" Harrison lightly chuckled.

She shook her head and cupped his face and smiled, "I left him."

"What? Why?"

"I don't love him anymore. I stopped loving him a long time ago." she told him. "I love you, Harrison."

"You love me?" he asked in shock. She just nodded. "But I'm not him. I can't give you everything you want and I can't take you to different places every weekend and-"

"Yes, you're not him. You're not him and that's makes you different and it's better. I want you and I want to stay with you." she said in all honesty.

"I'd love that." Harrison smiled. "Oh, and I love you too."

She grinned and pulled him in for a kiss.

* * * *

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: ???

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐱

#harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield imagines #harrison osterfield one shots #harrison osterfield blurbs #harrison osterfield fanfiction #harrison osterfield fanfic #harrison osterfield fic #harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield x y/n #haz osterfield #haz osterfield imagines #haz osterfield one shots #haz osterfield blurbs #haz osterfield fanfiction #haz osterfield fanfic #haz osterfield fic #haz osterfield x reader #haz osterfield x y/n #in-a-lot-of-fanfoms-tbh

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moneypedia · 3 years

Link

By Drew Shepherd

“You’re so judgmental!!!”

That’s the response I get when I delve a little too deep into my analytical side.

I’m somewhat of a perfectionist myself, so it’s no surprise that I hold others to my own lofty standards. And that’s one of many flaws I’m still working on.

There are certain times, however, when I’m unapologetic in my ways. And as you can see by the title of this article, this is one of those times.

The ability to screen out promiscuous women is one of the most valuable skills any man can have. It keeps you from wasting precious resources on a girl who couldn’t care less about you, and it protects you from being yet another clueless man in the dark.

A girl who sleeps around is never a good choice for your investment. And no matter what our culture tries to prove, the truth is that past sexual experience will always affect future relationships for the worse.

That’s why I created this list of 15 red flags to look for when you evaluate a potential partner.

This list is by no means exhaustive, and I’m sure there are plenty more signs you should be aware of too. But this one is intended to be a relatively quick check, and I’ve tried to limit it to signs you can notice within a few weeks at the most, or that you can easily find out with a scan of her social media.

Now I’m sure both you and I will catch some flak here for being “judgmental”, but remember, it’s not wrong to look out for your own interests. And in order to protect those interests, you need to discern the character of the people closest to you.

Being judgmental is assuming people’s character based on qualities outside their control. Discernment is deducing their character based on info they freely provide.

Only a fool would need a DNA test on an apple tree to confirm what it is…

Smart people just look at the fruit.

The 15 Red Flags Every Man Should Know

#1 She can’t stay at home. / She’s a party girl.

What it means: She needs excitement.

If she can’t enjoy a quiet night at home, walk away.

These kind of girls seem fun and interesting at first, but their lifestyle gets old fast. Plus there’s no telling how many intoxicated guys have taken their shot at her.

So find a girl who would rather read a book, watch a TV show, work out at home, cook a new meal, or talk to her friends on the phone.

“But that doesn’t sound like fun…”

No, most guys would say it doesn’t. But you know what’s more important than fun in relationships?

Stability.

A girl who runs out of her place every night has a need for excitement. And that need will find a way to bite you.

Sure, everything will be great when you’re both in a good mood, but what happens when she gets bored, or worse, when she’s unhappy?

If she needed excitement before she met you she will need it afterwards. And those thrills won’t be limited to a few drinks with the girls.

Most people are plenty fun when you get to know them anyway. So instead of worrying about that, ask yourself some more important questions:

Will she be there during a rough patch in your life?

Will she say “no” when a bigger fish comes along?

Does she avoid situations where she’ll be unnecessarily tempted?

Those are the questions you want answered (indirectly of course—actions speak louder than words).

Work on all those first. Then you can talk about fun.

#2 She has too many male friends.

What it means: She’s addicted to male attention.

Notice I said friends here and not acquaintances.

There’s nothing wrong with a woman having a conversation with a man. And if you do have a problem with that, you’re too possessive. A woman making small talk with her male coworker isn’t cause for concern.

But if she has close relationships to other guys, and she consistently talks to them about personal issues, that’s when you should be worried.

The true number of platonic male-female relationships is very small, and most of them only exist due to special circumstances.

But for the most part, men and women do not just become friends.

The truth is that the two sexes are equal, but different. And it’s tough for us to form close bonds outside of a romantic or sexual relationship.

Any girl who has tons of guy friends is bad news because almost all of them are attracted to her. And since she hasn’t made an effort to turn them down, it means she’s addicted to their attention.

If you don’t meet the requirements of such a popular girl, she’ll eagerly pick a replacement from her pool of waiting “friends”.

#3 She has tattoos or piercings on interior body parts.

What it means: She’s impulsive.

I’ve never been a fan of tattoos, so I wouldn’t look for a significant other who has any. But this red flag is more about the positioning of the ones she has.

If a girl has tattoos or piercings on any interior body parts (i.e. her upper thighs, torso, etc.), it is not a good sign. And here are only a few reasons why:

Someone had to put it there

People don’t get tattoos to cover them up

She makes long-term decisions based on short-term results

It’s just a terrible choice all around. Why would you taint the natural beauty you have with a man-made distraction?

It doesn’t make sense to me.

But in a way, I guess you should be happy when you see a girl like this. She’s made your job easy by effectively saying, “Don’t take me serious.”

#4 She’s a (moderate to heavy) drinker. / She does recreational drugs.

What it means: She allows unnecessary temptation.

Contrary to popular belief, human beings are not inherently good. And when given the choice, we will always be inclined to do what’s morally wrong.

Many times our conscious thought overrides this inclination, but whenever alcohol or drugs are involved, that inhibition goes out the window.

The point here is related to the first red flag about party girls—she allows herself to be tempted. And why would you ever trust a girl who intentionally lowers her self-control?

You are playing with fire and you know it.

Yes, crimes like theft will always be wrong, but we all have a responsibility to lock our doors.

#5 She’s a man hater. / She tests you to see if you’re man enough.

What it means: She lacks healthy relationships with the men in her life.

“All men are blah blah blah…”

“Guys only care about blah blah blah…”

“Men don’t deserve blah blah blah blah blah…”

Yeah, it’s annoying.

Man haters are the worst. I understand that some of us really are terrible, but if every guy she meets is like that, take a look at the common denominator.

Yes, I’m tough on the opposite sex sometimes, but even I know that there are fantastic women out there.

You can’t let the good ones convince you that all girls are sweet and innocent, and you can’t let the bad ones blind you to the praiseworthy women either.

The same is true about our side.

So if a girl always complains about the men in her life, she’s either still bitter about a failed relationship, or she presents herself as an object for men to lust after.

#6 She can’t put her phone down. / She’s addicted to social media.

What it means: She craves attention and drama.

The online version of too many male friends.

A smart girl knows that male attention doesn’t result from her “amazing personality”.

The number of friends and likes she gets is directly proportional to how attractive people think she is.

This stuff is honestly common sense by now but you still see the same thing all the time. A fairly attractive girl only has to post a few pictures, and boom, she’s got 50 dudes trying to hit her up.

She probably won’t give any of them the time of day—unless one of them is like, so hot—but at least she got her daily attention fix. Plus she’s found a new group of reliable “friends” to support her.

It’s ridiculous. And don’t even get me started on the drama.

If she’s more interested in her phone than she is in you, don’t try to change her mind.

#7 She’s comfortable in revealing clothes. / She’s insensitive to male touch.

What it means: She’s used to it.

Do you really think she dresses that way for you?

Do you honestly believe it’s normal for guys to hug and hold her like it’s no big deal?

She’s used to it, man. And even if she isn’t promiscuous now, it won’t take much effort for her to get that way.

But going back to her style of dress, you might believe her choice of clothes doesn’t matter anymore. You think that times have changed, and this girl is different. So different in fact that she’s above all of human nature.

Yeah, keep believing that.

The reality is that men are visual creatures. And both men and women instinctively know that the way a women dresses determines the type of attention she gets.

Our society doesn’t like to acknowledge that fact nowadays, so we try to ignore it as best as we can.

Instead, we say she has high self esteem, that she deserves to show off her body. And if you don’t like it, you’re living in the past.

But please don’t buy the “I’m-proud-of-my-body-so-I-need-to-be-half-naked” excuse.

People who are comfortable with a fit body, or great wealth, or whatever else they have don’t feel the need to show it off. They rest assured in the knowledge that it’s there.

The only people who show off are the ones who need validation. And they always need it from multiple people.

So if any girl shows too much skin, or if she’s fine with being hugged or touched any kind of way, you need to reconsider.

#8 She believes that things just happen. / She follows her heart. / She’s in love with “love” and relationships.

What it means: She lacks emotional control.

These girls are tricky for inexperienced guys, so let me explain.

It feels great at first to be the focus of a girl’s undying love. And the highs of having a beautiful woman enraptured by you is something straight outta the movies.

But guess what?

You will never be the only one.

You just happen to be her drug of the month. And all it takes is a more attractive or manipulative man to change her loyalties.

That is the dark reality of girls who “follow their heart.”

So instead of chasing a girl who’s crazy….about you, find a girl who tempers her heart with her head.

Don’t be afraid of love. Just make sure it’s the real thing first.

#9 She uses profanity.

What it means: She doesn’t value purity.

I don’t like profanity.

Sure, I went through a phase where it was cool to sprinkle in some “sentence enhancers”, but even then it still felt wrong.

Pure speech is something I value now, and it really does bother me to hear people—male or female—casually drop f-bombs. I don’t give them a stare or anything, but I know that profanity usually indicates that something is off in your life.

That’s one reason why I never use profanity on this site. Out of all the posts on HFE, I haven’t used a single curse word, and I plan to keep it that way.

But getting back to the meaning of this red flag, it just shows a lack of class.

If a girl doesn’t have the decency to control something as simple as her conversation, think about how ugly the rest of her lifestyle is.

#10 She’s friends with known promiscuous women. / She takes an interest in promiscuous celebrities.

What it means: She won’t be shamed for sleeping around, and she will probably be encouraged to do so.

Men compartmentalize their friends.

Of course not every guy is the same, but usually he’ll have his videogame pals, his college study group, his boys from work, his basketball squad, his fantasy football crew, and so on.

And what’s funny about all these friend buckets is that they usually include men from all walks of life.

You’ll have a mix of low income guys, wealthy guys, smart guys, dumb guys, you get the point. But as long as they all have that one thing in common, they don’t really care about much else.

Women are different.

Almost every girl I know has friends who are very similar to her. Everything from the way they dress, to the grades they get, to the income they earn, to the guys they like, and even their political stance—it’s almost always the same.

While men care more about the one activity they have in common, women focus more on similar lifestyles.

And now you see where I’m going.

You may not be able to tell if she sleeps around, but if you know her friends do, it’s a giant red flag.

Even if this girl is completely innocent, she knows her friends won’t look down on her if she does indulge, and that’s why she’s surrounded herself with them.

It’s even worse if she takes an interest in promiscuous celebrities. They’re just like her friends who get around but with additional influence and social status.

If [blank] can do [blank] and still be [blank], why can’t she?

#11 She uses New Age lingo. / She’s into horoscopes.

What it means: She won’t take responsibility for her actions.

If you meet a girl who always goes on about people’s “energy”, the workings of karma, or the meaning behind her horoscope, you need to run and run quickly.

I have numerous reasons why I wouldn’t get with a girl like this, but one of the more practical ones is that she won’t take responsibility for anything.

The stars are what drive her behavior, and she will be justified in spiting you because her negative-energy-sense was tingling.

It’s bad enough dealing with people who can’t control their impulses, but if she truly believes that “the universe” is causing her actions, avoid her at all costs.

#12 She has no discernible skills outside of her physical appearance.

What it means: She’s going down the wrong career path.

Everyone needs money. And if that need is not met, people will resort to all kinds of evil to meet it.

If this particular girl doesn’t have any marketable skills outside of being “hot”, she is going down the wrong road.

Eventually she will…

A. Find some way to make money off her appearance

B. Get bailed out by another man, or…

C. Be left in a financial hole when her beauty fades

Now you could argue that A wouldn’t be too bad of a scenario depending on the work involved (e.g. innocent modeling), but none of these are favorable to her developing a solid set of skills when she had the chance.

Not only has she put herself in a position where her beauty can be abused, but she’s also shown that she’s fine with being a drain on people’s resources.

That’s not good.

Everyone needs a strong work ethic, no matter who they are. And if she doesn’t have one, she’ll be pressured into compromising situations.

#13 She rushes the relationship. / She’s a little too perfect. / She tries too hard to seem like a good match.

What it means: She’s overcompensating.

Another tricky one here.

The average guy won’t deal with many girls like this, but the name of this site isn’t Hunger for Average, so you need to look out for this one.

As you start to care more about your appearance and get your life in order, you’ll notice that girls will seemingly come out of nowhere. And the ones you were invisible to before will make it obvious that they’re interested.

Sounds great right?

But the problem is that some of these girls won’t have the best intentions.

Almost every semi-attractive girl has been treated like a princess her whole life (and that’s one reason why a man who’s trained himself to be immune to beauty is so attractive to them).

But the side effect of this treatment is that many women expect partiality from every guy they meet. So now when they see you—a man who’s in good shape and has his life together—they don’t see a person, but rather, a tool who has the means to carry “her highness” through life.

This is particularly an issue with a girl in her late 20’s or early 30’s. Her internal clock is ticking and she knows she has to find a man before her beauty fades.

But you can’t let her clock dictate your life.

People get burned all the time by making hasty choices. And it’s a known manipulation tactic to rush people into big decisions.

Yes, there will be girls who genuinely like you, and they’ll be eager to start something special together. But you need to be aware of the other scenario too.

Beauty doesn’t get ignored. And if an attractive girl hasn’t locked down a man by this time in her life, it’s very possible that she used her beauty for other means when she was younger, and now she’s scrambling to find a man who doesn’t know any better.

Of course this isn’t always the case. Breakups happen and some people just have an unfortunate streak with relationships. But barring any significant change to her appearance, and without any other special cause, the former is a real possibility.

Remember that your interests are important too. And you are not obligated to take any dude’s leftovers simply because she needs a man now.

“But she’s changed! She’s not like that anymore! And she’s committed to doing better!”

That’s great. And I applaud her. But that doesn’t mean you owe her a relationship.

I’m all for acceptance and forgiveness, but I also know that forgiveness isn’t the removal of all consequences.

#14 She accuses you of being promiscuous, or worse, tries to prove you are.

What it means: She’s telling you how she would act if she was in your position (a.k.a. projection).

A girl who makes accusations like this doesn’t understand how any decent looking person could say no to their suitors. Especially since she could never hope to do the same.

You’re just a stupid boy who couldn’t possibly deny easy pleasure, and it’s her job to prove that assumption right.

It’s all so silly.

I’ve dealt with girls who tried to find faults that weren’t there and I had a real good laugh afterwards.

But while it is funny that a former acne-faced, overweight, emo guy would have to convince anyone he’s not about that life, I am very serious about guarding my integrity.

So if any girl accuses me of something like this, I know we need to part ways.

#15 Your gut tells you so.

What it means: You’re not comfortable with her.

Attraction is weird.

The first time anyone sees a person they like, comfort is nowhere to be found. There’s excitement, there’s anxiety, and there’s interest—not comfort.

But that all changes as time goes by.

The more you get to know someone, the more comfortable you feel around them.

The guy you thought was an antisocial creep just happens to be the life of the party. The girl you thought was such a snob before is actually kind and warm-hearted. And this new familiarity generally leads to more comfort.

But if time passes and you still don’t feel comfortable around this girl, it’s a bad sign. Your body is subconsciously telling you that something about her is off. And you know deep down that you can’t trust her.

“But didn’t you just make fun of girls and their ‘negative-energy-sense’? So how is it okay for guys to do the same thing?”

Because what I’m talking about here isn’t just a feeling. What I’m describing are physiological changes that happen solely because of this person.

Yes, it sounds far-fetched, but if you are fine around every person except her, something is wrong. And I’m not talking about a few butterflies in the stomach here.

If you start breaking a sweat when she shows up, if your sleep schedule suddenly changes, and if you’re always on your toes around her, your body is in alert mode. And instead of being able to work, or perfect your craft, or do anything else, you will constantly be thinking about her.

But again, don’t confuse this with some middle school crush obsession. This is about a girl who won’t give you any assurance that she is committed to you.

You will have to do everything to keep the relationship afloat, and that always leads to disaster. The minute you fall short in her eyes your worst fear will come true.

Of course you still want to be as attractive as possible to make her decision easy, but if the success of the relationship depends solely on you, find someone else.

Good leaders set an example for others and create a vision for the future…

They don’t do all the work.

Successful relationships will always take effort, but if you can’t relax at all with her, it’s a bad sign.

Weed ‘Em Out

So if you read this whole post, you’ve probably noticed a theme here.

All of these are signs that stem from a lack of one character trait:

Self-control.

This list is all about discerning if a girl has that one critical trait.

If she doesn’t have it, don’t try to change her, don’t make excuses for her, and please don’t waste time thinking about her. Just walk away.

And if you have a hard time doing that, ask yourself if you would help a man who acted the same way.

Sure, this may all seem cold-blooded, but when the stakes are this high, it’s always better to be safe than sorry. There is simply too much at risk when you choose a long term partner. And if you can’t trust someone you’ll eventually think about marrying, you need to end it as soon as possible.

No amount of beauty is worth the headache and embarrassment. If a woman’s actions show that she doesn’t respect you, move on and find a girl who does.

Just remember that nothing here is foolproof either. Some girls are crafty and they won’t show many of the signs listed here—but that’s okay.

The point isn’t to catch every girl who’s like this. The point is to save time by weeding out the easy ones. And once you do that, you’ll be closer to finding a girl who’s worth the investment.

So be smart, stay strong, and have a little fun too. It’s easy to get too serious about things like this, but keep a good attitude and you’ll be fine.

If you know what all to avoid, just imagine how much you can cherish a keeper.

-Drew

#relationships

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moondustaeil · 5 years

Text

secret taste, jjh

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ⋅ secret taste

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ chapter 2

⠀ about

⋅ genre : non-idol au. mainly romance + smut (additionally : fluff , angst)

⋅ characters : Jung Jaehyun x reader (other nct members)

⋅ word of warning : a whole bunch of sexual themes , cursing , idk

⋅ word count : 2.4k

⠀ ⠀

⠀ summary

⋅ to provide creative content on a YouTube channel, Jung Jaehyun and y/n are invited together with a bunch of other strangers to test out objects. Unlike the useless gadgets you can buy on the home-shopping channel, they are given the opportunity to test out the most sensual lifestyle products together.

⠀ previous

⋅ ⠀ Intro , chapter 1

“I can’t believe they gave us the wrong hour,” You said in disbelief as you and Jaehyun walked further away from the filming set.

Jaehyun let out a scoff when he thought about everything that he could have been doing if only he had received the right hour to show up. “It’s as if they did it on purpose. As if we don’t have other things to do” he said, by the words he said you could conclude that the two of you were starting to think the same way about the so-called opportunity.

“Let’s just get something to drink instead, by the time we’d get home now, it’s time to leave again” You suggested as you kept the actual time you had to be there in mind, your eyes wandering to Jaehyun to check if he was okay with it, and as you already expected him to, he agreed.

The building’s cafeteria was ignored by you both, just heading out the building to get drinks somewhere else. A little bit too much of the unexpected had happened in the past week for you and Jaehyun to be in that building when you didn’t have to be there.

“Do you know what we’re filming today?” Jaehyun questioned as you two walked through the street, waiting until a random little cafe or coffee shop would pop up just like that. He eyed you for a couple of seconds as he awaited your answer. “Nope, do we ever know?” You said, knowing the answer already, your shoulders shrugged as if you were done caring about it anyway.

The small talk you two had was the longest conversation you had in the short week that you had known each other, though even in that week you had only seen each other three times only. Those three times were probably too awkward for either of you to get used to each other and the partnership.

Before you could talk another step, Jaehyun pulled you with him to the right, into a small coffee shop that you hadn’t even noticed. He was the one to go inside first, but made sure to keep the door open for you and close it behind you as well, at least being half the gentleman society requested him to be.

The two of you walked to a small table, wanting to have a seat first before you would go and order. “Do you already know what you want?” you asked, without the menu already deciding what kind of drink you wanted. Jaehyun hummed, nodding as soon as you looked up at him. “I always order the same, even though I always claim I want something else. Call me boring”

“I’ll go and order” He said and listened to what you wanted before disappearing to go to the counter, your eyes never leaving the sight of him. He was looking so good and yet simple: dressed in black clothes and his black hair making the dark look complete. His body to die for even if you only saw the back now. As good as his body looked in those clothes, his smile and eyes were always the most impressive thing about him.

Even though you had been looking at him the entire time, you hadn’t noticed how Jaehyun came back, both of your drinks in his hands. “Staring at someone? Hm” you heard, making you snap out of your little daydream.

By the tone, you could hear how he was smiling even if you weren’t looking at him. “Nah, not really, no one interesting,” you said, telling yourself and Jaehyun a little lie to stop your cheeks from changing into a rosier color.

“Luckily, wouldn’t want you to stare the entire time” He said back, you didn’t reply anymore, pretending you were too busy sipping from your drink. He didn’t have to know how embarrassed you were, and surely not how you had been staring at him instead of another person in the coffee shop

There fell a short silence between the two of you, at least being less awkward than last time you saw each other. You still remembered how weird it felt to take a kinky BDSM test right beside him, you were glad that moment wasn’t mentioned today or not yet at least.

Jaehyun cleared his throat “so what do you do in your life?” he asked curiously, wanting to share some more personal details now that you two had time to spend alone instead of in front of the cameras. “I’m in college and I got asked to do this as like something to earn some money” you said, shrugging your shoulders as the accomplishment list in your life wasn’t that superior yet. “You?”

“That’s cool. I actually don’t do anything, or not yet at least. I wanted to start up something with my friends, but the music industry is hard to get into” He admitted, his dream of being a singer probably would always stay but he didn’t know if he was ready for the failure that came along with it. “I’ll start looking for a different job though, maybe something with kids, or translator, I don’t really know” he said, sighing softly as if he didn’t feel sure about what he was telling.

“You still have time, you’re still young,” You said, smiling to cheer him up a bit more, you weren’t sure if he was actually feeling bad about it. But you felt bad to see him being scared to achieve his dream and instead forced to do something else.

He nodded at your words, and couldn’t help but smile right back at you when you flashed him a smile. “True, at least I didn’t become a teen dad like I always wished I would be. I mean, I surely wouldn’t have a chance to sing” he said, his voice a bit softer as he admitted the thing he had always dreamed of. As much as the words shocked you, your smile grew even bigger. It was the cutest thing you had heard, it meant that he loved kids and probably loved the thought of having his own little family. “You can still be a young dad,” you said, which only made him nod.

The two of you continued to talk about some other things in your lives or just random things. Your studies, his dreams of being a singer, how the two of you had ended up in the YouTube show, some other personal details like where you lived and if you had significant others.

Time seemed to go fast as the two of you talked, it was like meeting a stranger who was a friend at the same time. But it had been nice, comfortable and something you’d surely want to do again whenever you had time. With that another promise came to do this at least twice a month, to just be able to catch up and form a bond as the two of you were partners on the channel after all.

It almost looked like he was let down when it was time to leave again, filming wasn’t as fun as spending time just with the two of you.

Once the two of you were at the filming studio, you two immediately could head to the set and sit down. Maybe it was because you two were barely four minutes later than when you were supposed to be back, but on the walk back you two just shared some more good conversations and laughter which made it take longer.

As the two of you sat on the usual chairs and looked at the camera, the staff showed you a forced smile, clearly a little bit annoyed by the late arrival you two made. There were still couples that had to film after you. “So for today we are going to do a challenge involving your heartbeat, we will be trying different things to see what gives the most reaction. We will be having five rounds, the couple who have the lowest heartbeats in total will be able to go on a weekend trip together. Results will be announced later” She explained, loud enough for it to be heard by the microphones as well.

You and Jaehyun just nodded, not sure what to expect but in real variety shows, it usually was things like just acting cute to each other and then see who had the highest heartbeat. Though hearing how it was some sort of competition against the other couples, it made things more fun and challenging to win.

“First round: acting cute”

She announced before she sat down, meaning that it was time for you and Jaehyun to start the challenge. It was you who had to go first this time.

You looked at Jaehyun and thought about all the different kinds of aegyo you had seen before. Most of them were cringy, embarrassing for the people who did it but even for those who had to watch it. It took a few seconds before you had decided what you wanted to do. You crossed your arms over your chest, a pout taking over your lips. “I don’t like this!” you said, your tone childish and sad. In your mind, it would keep his heartbeat low, because why would he melt over something that was sad and surely not cute at all.

Jaehyun’s heartbeat that was displayed on a screen behind the camera, didn’t change that much at all. The 86 beats only making it as far as 88, before lowering again which meant you had done a good job in not being cute but a bad job in trying to get Jaehyun to like you more.

After your turn, Jaehyun’s turn was there. As simple as it was, it made your heart beat a little bit faster when he shot you a smile and poked his dimple in a cute way. Rather than cute, it was heartwarming for some reason. Your heart went from 90 to an unsteady number of 95, just enough to stay in the limit of not being too high.

“The next round is, confessing to each other”

The words left you perplexed, how were you supposed to confess to someone you barely knew, and what were you supposed to confess? Love, friendship, your darkest secrets? You had no idea but apparently, Jaehyun made up his mind as he turned his chair towards you to start.

“Here we go” Jaehyun started and pretended to look nervous or maybe he genuinely was nervous, you couldn’t tell yet. “I really like you y/n, you make me smile all the time with everything you say and do.”

The words were short, yet you felt a sudden rush go through your heart, you didn’t know if it stood still for a few seconds or if the beat was speeding up at a fast pace. The unsteady number suddenly consisted of three numbers instead of two. Of course, such a confession made your heart beat faster, everyone would have the same reaction when Jaehyun would be right in front of them, confessing his love.

Jaehyun looked at you with expecting eyes when his turn was over, knowing now you had to do the same back to him, probably without as much reaction as you gave him. “Okay, I’ll start” you announced and got a little bit closer to him.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you this, ever since we met, I feel as if you’re special. You make me feel things I didn’t know existed. And, I guess I want to say that, I like you” You said, a soft sigh leaving your lips but it was luckily inaudible. Through your words, you kept on remembering how you felt when the two of you got coffee just a bit ago.

The heartbeat of the boy next to you went higher as well, and even though that meant that the challenge wasn’t going as expected, it was a good sign to you. A sign that he liked you, if it wasn’t in a romantic way then it surely was in a friendly way. Or he was just easy to convince and flirt with, but you guessed that wasn’t the case.

“Last round, you’re allowed to touch. No lower than shoulders”

The announcement made you and Jaehyun share looks for a couple of seconds, maybe silence communicating whether you two wanted to win this challenge or not. Or maybe a silent question if you were okay with being touched and touching him. When he nodded his head, you did too. Giving the confirmation that it was okay.

“Let’s do this,” you said as you scooted a little bit closer to Jaehyun, giving him a small and nervous smile before you started. You placed your hand on his upper arm and gently ran your thumb over the skin, it probably was more soothing than sexy but essentially you weren’t here to lose. Your hand slowly ran up until it was on his shoulder, which gave you access to run your fingers over his collarbones.

You no longer looked at the heartbeat meter, it would only make you more nervous about this all. As a sign that you had ended your turn, you sat back and motioned to Jaehyun that it was his turn to take action now.

Without a word, he got closer to you and brought his hand up to your face. His left hand more towards your hair and moved a little strand away from your face, almost like a scene you would see or read in everything related to teen romance. Teen romance or not, the feelings seemed real and genuine from his side, especially when he leaned in a bit closer and pressed his lips to the side of your head.

Though the touching came to an abrupt ending when the producer said that you ran out of time to continue filming the video. As weird as it had been, you also thought the ending could have been more fitting to the theme of the video. But they told you to do the ending just like that. As any YouTuber would do, the two of you ended it with the words to give it a like and subscribe to the channel before the filming ended.

“Good acting” Jaehyun said to you and gave you a hug, the conflicted feelings of the actions and words made you confused but you returned the hug. You were already happy that the two of you managed to start a little friendship. “You too” you said as you pulled back from the hug.

Once the two of you had grabbed your belongings, you left again. Both like usually parting your ways at the parking, though this time a little bit of talking had happened beforehand.

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jckelly · 4 years

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dear mum

[ jack kelly’s eulogy for his mother ]

“I was supposed to say this shit at your funeral. I wrote it all out on a torn out page of my exercise book, on the flight over, when George was asleep and Claire was busy pretending to fuss. I think she gets a kick out of coddling me, stroking my hair, pretending I’m a baby again as if she can turn back the clock if she pretends enough, send me right back to toddler years so she can be the proud mum at the school gates acting like she gave birth to me. You’d fucking cackle if you saw it. You never liked babying me.

I was supposed to say this in the church, in front of the people who showed up - bit of a pathetic turn out, if I’m being honest, it was me, the vicar guy, Claire and George, and the latest social worker. Carole or summat. She stank of dog hair when she hugged me, I could feel Claire wanting to put my clothes in the wash straight away. She’s such a fucking clean freak, is Claire, all we have to be careful, it makes me want to jump in a swamp just to see what she’d say. She didn’t really talk to anyone, just George, so the crowd was pathetic and antisocial. You would’ve taken the piss out of it. But when I got into the church, I just couldn’t do it. I felt like my chest was tightening, I swear I couldn’t breathe for a moment and I thought I was gonna fucking pass out right there in front of the stupid alter. Claire squeezed my hand - Jesus Christ she’s one for hand holding - and was all you don’t have to do this and I bottled it. Gave up and let the vicar mumble some shite about ashes to ashes. He probably says the same thing for everyone. We played The Masterplan by Oasis - you would’ve liked that, I insisted on it and it was fucking epic in the church, Liam Gallagher fucking ringing out across the stupid place. Claire hated it, she was all wouldn’t a classical piece be better, I was like it is a classic, fuck off. And then it was over and we all went back to the hotel and I hadn’t even eaten yet and it was only eleven and it felt so fucking wrong that my day was barely starting and I’d already said goodbye to my mum and I didn’t even say a single stupid thing.

So I’m saying it now, in my bedroom with the door locked, smoking out the window - this joint’s for you, okay. Claire’s downstairs probably doing some late night googling - is my son depressed? How do you comfort your adopted son after his junkie mum dies? - and George is probably resisting the urge to come confiscate the weed because he can definitely smell it from there and I know Claire’s probably the only thing stopping him. So it’s just us, because to be honest, I don’t think you’re any more likely to be in a church than right here. We never went to church anyway, I don’t think I was baptised. I don’t really know anymore.

Mummy. You liked when I called you that, something about me sounding like a toddler made you feel younger. Not that you needed to sound any younger, you were well fucking young as it was. Fifteen when you had me, I remember being eight, nine, and the parents at the school gate thought you were my sister. Sometimes you played along, I thought it was a funny game and I’m only just starting to realise it was out of shame, you never liked to admit what was really going on, but then again I never realised what was going on then. I thought all the kids got left for days on end while their mums went off to find ways to make ends meet, pasta in the cupboard and a step by the stove so I could stand on it to reach to turn the gas on and boil the water. I went back to that flat the other day, we had to pick up the last pieces of shit you’d left. It stank of mouldy vomit and piss, I swear the blanket you were sleeping on had fucking fleas and there was next to nowt in the entire place - they said you’d sold it all in the end, paying for your drugs with your bed and your clothes - but the step was still by the stove, as if you thought I was gonna come back and I might need to reach the cupboard.

I had a massive fucking panic attack right there by the step. You would have been ashamed. I couldn’t breathe and I think Claire was torn between calling a doctor and trying to comfort me, she didn’t know what was happening because it was just a step but it was never just a step or a flat or a room. It was your room, your step, your flat. It was what you did for me because you knew I was gonna come back and I’m so sorry I was too late, I’m so sorry I didn’t make it in time to save you. It’s my fault. It usually is.

You would’ve known what to say. You usually did. Noel, stop being a fucking dumbass, and somehow that would have sorted me right out as if nothing ever happened. (It was always Noel, never Jack, you always said you meant it that way - Noel Jackson Kelly, not Jackson Noel Kelly, you messed up when you went to register me because you didn’t have anyone to help.) Those were your words on my first day of school, slightly abridged, Noel, stop being stupid. And then you put that ring of your mum’s in my pocket, the one you never took off, just to make me feel like you were there with me.

I lied about that ring to some kid at school. I said I buried it with you. I didn’t want to admit you sold it years ago, just to pay for your heroin habit. There used to be a little mark on your finger whenever you took it off because you wore it so much, I guess that translated well into the marks on your arms. When the ring money wore out, you came to my high school - do you remember? I was fourteen and you were rattling the school gates, Jack honey do you have a fiver? A tenner? I’ll pay you back, I swear. And the fucking kids were muttering, going is that Jack Kelly’s mum? Nobody mistook you for my sister anymore then, the needles and the alcohol and the lifestyle had folded your skin, pushed premature wrinkles in. I couldn’t deny it when they asked, we looked too much alike, thanks for the freckles by the way, really fucking attractive. I didn’t really want to deny it. I didn’t care much if they said shit, I could beat most of them up even if I was shorter. They didn’t know fuck all about you. Nobody does. Claire wanted a restraining order after that, fuck her. You’re my mum. Not her.

Everyone always wants to see the fucking bad side. It’s morbid. I learned a word the other day in class: schadenfreude, means taking pleasure in other’s pain. That’s what everyone’s like, deep down. They like imagining you as some sort of monster because it makes them feel better, when they tuck their kids into bed in their nice houses in the nice areas of town, no sirens going off, to think that you’re completely different to them. That no matter what they do they’ll never end up like you. That’s not how it works. You could’ve been one of them, you could’ve had the nice place and the husband, if maybe you’d been born in a different place to different people and you hadn’t met whoever gave you your first high. Sometimes I imagine that. You in a nice dress in a nice house, there’s a man making dinner when I come back from school, maybe you have a degree or even you just finished secondary school. You have a nice job as a receptionist or a secretary or something normal. You’re smiling. I haven’t seen you smile properly in years.

Point is, I’m tired of them trying to make you sound like you don’t deserve to be loved just because you were sick. You had an illness, it’s the same like some people’s mums get fucking cancer. You didn’t want to be sick, fuck knows you tried to beat it, spent half your fucking life on methadone. They make it sound like you were never a mum. You’re my mum. You know more about me than anyone. Claire doesn’t even know what my favourite band is, as if I’m not named after fucking Noel Gallagher. Claire thinks she can buy motherhood with fake worry and acting like she cares. She doesn’t realise it’s not for sale because I had a fucking mother already and I don’t care if she’s in the ground. You’re always gonna be my mum. Doesn’t change.

I see you when I look in the mirror. Your nose, your eyes, your hair, your crooked smile and crooked teeth, neither of us ever bothered to get them sorted out and I’m glad. I’m half him, I know that, the elephant in the room, the man who stuck his dick in you to give you me, another inconvenience in a life full of mistakes. I’ve spent eighteen years without knowing him though, and I can spend seventy more because he gave you fuck all. I guess that makes me like him, in a way - all I got you was trouble, problems with the law because they thought you shouldn’t be leaving me then, visits from social workers who found your stash. All I did was mess your life up even more and then I let myself leave and I lie awake at night replaying all of the conversations me and Claire and you ever had about that and wondering why, why did I let it happen because I just know you would never have been so careless if you knew I was coming over next week or next month. You wouldn’t have done that to me. I know that. They don’t, but I do, and since when did it matter what George or Claire or any of the fucking social workers thought?

I miss you when I play Oasis. I miss you when I hear some stupid kid messing around on a guitar because I remember that one you had once upon a time before it got added to the list of shit you sold off. I miss you when I catch a reflection of myself smiling in a window or a shiny car, your smile again. One day I’ll stop remembering the way that smile looked, it’s been such a long time, and then your eyes will start to leave my mind, your thin lips, your hair. I need you still. I’m not ready to be by myself yet. The law says I’m an adult but I feel like a kid still, sometimes, when I wake up in the middle of the night thinking I’m being hurt and all I want is you to tell me I’m being stupid again, but you can’t do that. Not ever again. I’m not ready to accept that. Sometimes I catch myself imagining what I’m going to do when I come back home over the summer, I’m gonna clean up your flat again like I always do, make you dinner, clean up your arms. When I realise I can’t do those things again it’s like someone tipped ice water down my back.

I’m going to graduate in June. I know your mum and dad never did, even though what you said about them was next to nothing. I know you didn’t, because I arrived to fuck your life up. But I think you’ll be proud, somewhere, that a Kelly made it to finish secondary school. Maybe we’re not so cursed after all. Or maybe I’m the curse, and it’s just everyone around me who’ll get fucked up because of me, I’ll be the only one unscathed. I’m sorry I did that to you. I’m sorry I let this happen. I wish I could swap places. All I can say is I loved you, I love you, and I’m sorry.

Noel”

#July 2nd 2020 #self para #drugs tw #neglect tw #death tw #general tw for upsetting content?

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ticktickblog · 4 years

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Minimalism: How I Finally Found the True Beauty of Living with Less

A couple of months ago, I saw a TV series called Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, where a Japanese lady Konmari visited families to help them tidy their homes. The tiding process normally starts from clothes, books to sentimental items. A rule she’s given is only keeping what’s necessary and discarding those that don’t spark joy anymore. The basic concept embedded in the Konmari method is actually similar to minimalism.

Minimalism is about living with less. This not only means getting rid of extra material possessions, like what they did in that TV series, but also includes reducing mental burdens, and decluttering other aspects of life, e.g. digital life. It’s a less-is-more mindset that gets you to reflect on the current state of your life and identify what is truly valuable. With a minimalist lifestyle, people can sort their life well to enjoy more peace and freedom.

Getting rid of excessive material possessions

Among all aspects of minimal living, what we could easily start with is probably the personal belongings. I know this may still sound like a big project, but here’s what I did:

Observing

The first thing I did was to examine how much stuff I actually own, and I started with clothing. I pulled over all my clothes from several wardrobes and piled them together, which was really appalling, especially seeing hills and hills of clothes and some were years ago but still with the label on. I came to realize that I was kinda a semi shopaholic that I never thought I was.

Decluttering

Then it comes to the decluttering. I had to decide what to keep and what to toss. Considering some clothes are still quite new, I spare another choice for donation. It was quite a struggle to decide which item should go, but I asked myself two main questions:

Functionality: is it still functional/wearable?

Sentimental value: is it something meaningful/makes me happy?

It became easier with these two standards. For example,

Pieces bought out of pure impulse: donate.

Sweater my grandma knitted for me: stay.

T-shirts with holes: go.

Same type of dress: keep the best, ditch the rest.

Trousers I haven’t worn for the last year: go/donate.

Tip: One thing I learned from Konmari was the thank-you ritual. Thank the item for its sweet company before letting it go. This can help reduce your inner guilt when throwing things away.

Organizing

What was also suggested by Marie Kondo was organizing stuff by category instead of by location.This simply means storing the same type of items together, rather than letting them scatter in multiple places. For example, all towels go to one box, and all T-shirts should be collected in the same drawer, sorted by colors if you’d like. This helps when I need to quickly search for something, and also gives me a clear idea of the number of same items I own, which then can prevent me from buying more than I actually need.

Maintaining

To maintain the cleared-out momentum, regularly check if anything becomes excessive or nonfunctional. Also, always ask yourself the hard question — Do I really need it?/Do I already have it? — before you fall prey to consumerism that encourages you to buy excessively. Some minimalists stick strictly to the “one-in-one-out” principle, which means when they add something new, another stuff they already had should go. I haven’t tried this, it might be effective, but also be careful that it can lead to a simple replacement too.

Cleaning up digital clutters

Compared with visible substances in real life, what burdens us in the digital world is perhaps much harder to be noticed. A quick self-check can be: unlocking your phone and counting how many installed apps there are, or go to the photo album, and see the number of photos stored in it. In my case: 187 apps and 19220 photos. Amazing.

I decided to start the purge from those little cute apps. First I created different folders to sort them out by category. Interestingly, I realized I’ve downloaded 14 apps of a single type — photography and editing. Never knew I had a true passion for that. To downsize it, something particularly useful was: keeping the multi-functional apps because these are the ones I use most, just like TickTick, an all-in-one productivity app. Then the others are just a waste of storage. Also, let go of those barely used, for me the recipe apps, because I seldom cook, and also the recruitment apps, which were only used when I needed to look for a job. When finishing the decluttering process, the size of apps on my phone was shrunk largely to nearly ⅓ of the past.

The same process then went with my photo album, which was downsized to about 6k from 20k, after all the meaningless screenshots and repetitive selfies were deleted, and all trip photos were moved into cloud drive. This could further extend to messages or emails, if those are the severely-hit areas in your case. God bless.

I literally felt my phone was thinner after the whole process. Try it.

Reducing the amount of information I’m exposed to every day was what I did next. I’ve tried more radical way like cutting my phone completely out of daily life for 3 days in a row. It felt terrible honestly, and I used it for more hours as a payback once I got it back. A common misconception there of minimalism might be the elimination, but I think the difference is minimalism is not telling you to avoid something forever, it’s always about striking a balance between your desires and capacity.

Therefore, I’m enjoying my digital life, but I’m also trying to weighing it against my capacity of information that I can take in. Articles with exaggerated titles but cheesy contents needed to go first; numbers of newsletters subscribed should be restricted; time spent on TV series was limited; scrolling on social media posts was also reduced; notifications from apps were minimized… so on an so forth.

Reducing mental burdens

Lastly I’d like to talk a little about the effects of minimalism on mental world.

Also take myself as an example, I used to be addicted to expanding my social network, because I’ve long been educated: one more friend, one more road. Therefore, I took very good care of my social media accounts like they were just many MEs living on the internet. However, the larger my network size is, the more exhausted I feel. The more I care about how many likes I get for a new insta post, the more anxious I get.

Then I just realized putting so much effort into building social personas and expanding so-called friendships did nothing good, but added on my mental burdens. Why not spending more time for myself, and people I really love and care about? Understanding the truth of quality over quantity, I decided to:

Unfollow people I met on a party but never talked in life since then.

Delete those using me as a “problem-solving machine” but nothing else.

Delete those who barely contacted me unless they became sales.

Let go of those in close relationships but ghosted for whatever reasons.

Share what I’d really like to share instead of what my online friends like.

After doing that, I felt so much more relieved than before, because I finally understood that my time and energy is the very limited resources I have in life and thus not everyone around me is worth it. I truly get the meaning of living with less: spending less time on the unnecessary and what consumes you endlessly, but more on what you really need and what brings you joy.

Talking all above, you might feel inspired and would also like to try the minimalist lifestyle. But before you go, I’d like to kindly remind you of three gimmicks of minimalism I’ve spotted:

It’s not a disposal competition. Focusing only on the number of stuff you’ve tossed or people moved from your contact is not what really matters. And there isn’t a rule saying the less, the better.

It’s not a promotion of expensive brands with minimal designs. Some products brand themselves with minimalism, making it a new aesthetics standard with normally a not-so-affordable price. How ironic.

Make conscious decisions when ditching something, or else you may find yourself end up in a replacement cycle that causes extra expenditure.

In a nutshell, minimalism is a way of life and a way of thinking. It encourages us to focus more on what’s truly important in life and avoid other distractions; it becomes an antidote that saves us from drowning in numerous goods and boomed information; it helps reduce mental loads and spare some room for inner happiness.

So thank minimalism, go and enjoy life!

#minimalism #minimalist #minimalist lifestyle #living with less #less is more

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mahou-queen · 4 years

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♡52 Weeks of Lolita Questionnaire♡

In a recent Lovely Lor video, Lor answered questions from Loliprompts’ questionnaire “52 weeks of lolita”. It seems like a fun list of questions and I thought I would answer them too~ ♡

1. What is your favorite brand, and why? What’s its history? ♡ I guess my favorite brand would have to be Angelic Pretty. I love a lot of other brands, but the majority of dresses in my wish list right now are Angelic Pretty. As for their history? I don’t really know haha, I guess I should research that a bit.

2. How would you describe lolita fashion to a curious person you met in passing? ♡ I always just say I am apart of a fashion club? People don’t generally require more than that but if they did I would probably tell them that it’s an alternative fashion based on Victorian fashion and we have a fashion club and we get dressed up and meet for tea and stuff.

3. What style do you think is the most underrated, and why? ♡ qi and wa lolita. I almost never see them, or see interest in them which is a shame because there are some really beautiful dresses out there that are suited for these styles.

4. What does the phrase “lolita lifestyle” mean to you, and do you, or would you like to, adhere to it? ♡ lolita lifestyle is when you try to bring lolita or lolita-esque aesthetics into every aspect of your life. Maybe wearing lolita every or most days, and having a very “loliable” home/room. I could never be a lifestyler because I have other fashion interests. Also lolita is not appropriate at my workplace.

5. What do you think constitutes lolita etiquette or good manners? ♡ I don’t believe there is any “lolita etiquette” I think you should just be yourself. Good manner are good manners, don’t be rude to your comm members, don’t dance on the tables at a tea party. But that’s just commonsense I don’t think there is a way to behave that is lolita.

6. Does your style change with the seasons, or do you dress the same and try to bear the cold/heat? ♡ I try, but admittedly I am awful at it. I try to keep berets in the cooler months, as well as long sleeves. BUT I’m a sucker for ankle socks and I wear them all year despite the cold and I do freeze my legs off at winter meets.

7. Do you have a fashion role-model? What do you admire most about them? ♡ I actually have several! I will list them and their instagrams here: sleepyriri - Her coords are so dreamy looking, very light floaty aesthetic which I love. She also has her own lolita brand! Le_verger_sucre - Her coords are so pink and princess-y. I find myself sharing her photos a lot. Fannyrosie - the classic lolita queen. Need I say more? Tokimeki.bunny - I love the cuteness of her coords. They always have a lot of extra elements and are so well balanced. She’s also really good at coordinating printed tights which I am awful at. Tsumikko - Lavender QUEEN! I love her use of aprons, layering, and color balancing. Very light, floaty vibes. Milkcircus - Print QUEEN. Her use of prints and patterns absolutely inspires me. Coords are always very multi-dimensional Cursed.Kaiser - They’re coords are honestly so cool, there’s a kind of drama in them that I really like. Darkxdelirium - She almost made me want honey cake with her impeccable coording skills.

8. What are the top 10 things you love most about lolita? Can you also compile a list of things you hate? ♡ I don’t think I can come up with 10 but I’ll do my best. ♡ Loves: The community aspect, the ability to reclaim my femininity through lolita, the creativity that goes into building coords, crafting to make one of a kind pieces, being able to feel beautiful without being “sexy”, having a hobby to focus on when I need something to escape to.

♡ Hates: Second-hand market price fluctuation, brands still releasing dresses with a max 96cm bust, buying petticoats, storing my stuff (especially purses), brands who charge astronomical prices for low quality materials (AP purses, Q-pot jewelry, etc).

9. How strict are you in applying the rules to yourself? To others? ♡ I am pretty strict on myself. For a long time I was terrified to be seen as ita. I was even afraid to wear bodyline for fear of being ”ita” even though my coord was good. These days I am less strict on myself and worry much less about these things, but I still struggle to get out of the strict mindset from time to time. others? I love experimentation even if I am afraid to do so so I am really not too strict on others, if it works, it works, and I am not going to criticize anyone.

10. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever incorporated into a coord, or the weirdest material you’ve ever worn? ♡ The weirdest thing I think I have ever worn in a coord were a pair of korilakkuma bell earrings. As you can imagine, bells on your ears? not great.

11. What’s the story behind your discovery of lolita fashion? ♡ When I was a senior in high school, a new girl started attending my school. She wore fairy kei and sweet lolita to school. We became friends through art class and eventually she ended up teaching me about the fashion. She sold me my first dress, and later my first brand piece. I am really glad to have met her and to have been exposed to lolita. You can follow her on instagram here

12. What is the one item that you’ve owned the longest? ♡ I still own my very first dress I got in 2012. Bodyline Squirrel Party. However, I am planning to sell it since I’ve worn it in everyway I can think of.

13. Do you think lolita is only about clothes, or does it also encompass a certain attitude or mindset? ♡ Lolita is about the fashion. All kinds of people are lolitas and they like it or wear it for different reasons.

14. Have you ever decorated a room or other space (car?) with lolita aesthetics in mind? ♡ My old bedroom used to be very “kawaii”. I love pink so my car stuff, my desk, as much as I can get away with, is pink.

15. Is it possible to be too obsessed with lolita? ♡ If lolita is interfering with your ability to pay your bills, or to be happy, or to focus on school or work or family then you should probably pull back. Some people do get very absorbed by things and in those cases it can become too much.

16. What are you favorite and least favorite trends? Do you think it’s important to follow them, or to do as you like regardless of them? ♡ My favorite trend ever is the chiffon half blouse. So comfortable, affordable, light, cute, and much more size inclusive. Least favorite trend? mis-matched shoes from the 2010 era. I like my shoes to get equal wear. I think these days more than ever, you can really just do whatever you want. Wear the fashion is right now is like anything goes which I think is great,

17. How do you define “lolita cosplay” and how do you feel about it? ♡ Lolita cosplay is stupid. sorry

18. Are there other fashions that you wear regularly, or are you an everyday lolita? ♡ I don't wear other street fashions anymore. I used to wear fairy kei and himekaji but these days I just dress regular outside of lolita.

19. Do you look for bargains to save as much money as possible, or are you willing to make sacrifices for high-quality products? ♡ I try to find the best prices when applicable but if I am in love with something I’ll do what I have to do.

20. When was the last time you wore lolita, and what did you do that day? If you wear it daily, when was the last time you went OTT or extra-fancy? ♡ The last time I wore lolita was in April lmao. For a virtual meet-up with my comm.

21. If you were to combine lolita fashion with an unrelated style or theme, what would your new creation be? ♡uhhhh I honestly have no idea at all.

22. What is your favorite accessory, and why is it your favorite? ♡ I have 2, 2-way bow clips from back when bodyline had a massive “sundries” section. They're no longer available and haven't been for a long time. I am really glad I got them, I wish I had bought more sundries when that section was still there.

23. What’s your favorite online lolita community or forum? Are there any that you avoid? ♡ I don’t have a favorite tbh. I have never been on 4chan and I never will be.

24. What is your favorite theme (e.g. school loli, pirate loli, nurse loli) or motif (e.g. deer, music notes, stars/constellations)? ♡ black and gold stars! Valentines day! fruits! gingham!

25. Is there any music that you associate with lolita? ♡ orange caramel lol

26. Will you ever be too old for lolita? ♡ never

27. Do you enjoy sewing? Why or why not? ♡ I don’t know how to sew :(

28. How does your location affect your involvement in the local lolita community? Would you like to move elsewhere to be closer, or perhaps farther away? ♡ I drive about 1.5 hours for meetups because that’s the closest active comm. I do not mind so much. I’d like to maybe be closer.

29. Does your sleepwear resemble lolita at all? ♡ not at all. I sleep in oversized t-shirts

30. Can you admit to any unpopular opinions regarding lolita? ♡ I hate peeking bloomers. I’m sorry :(

31. How do you feel about Visual kei or Jrock, and do you feel it’s related to lolita, or not? ♡ Love it, and absolutely. Visual Kei is like lolitas relative.

32. Whether or not you wear them (looking at you, Ouji), do you prefer the look of skirts, JSKs, and OPs with or without prints? ♡ I like both, but these days I am appreciating non-printed items more.

33. How has your style evolved over time? ♡ It hasn't really, just gotten more refined.

34. If applicable, what other communities do you belong to? What other identities do you adopt? ♡ I’m queer, so the LGBTQ community is important to me.

35. What are your favorite shoes to wear with your style, or what’s your dream pair? ♡ I love heels. I do not like flat shoes because I like to elongate my legs. I don’t have a dream pair.

36. Would you, or have you ever, dressed your pets in lolita? ♡ lol I’d try but I don't think it would work.

37. How do you feel about people who wear lolita for Halloween? Does it depend on whether that person is already a lolita? ♡ Wearing lolita for Halloween as a lolita is fine, but wearing it as a costume is kind of meh.

38. Excluding fashion shows, what’s the most amount of outfits you’ve ever worn in a day? ♡ just 1 haha

39. What’s your worst lolita horror story? ♡ I don’t really have any. I one time went with some of my college friends to a con and I left my dorm building in full sweet early in the morning. I was afraid my dormmates would see me cause I did not want to explain but luckily no one was awake and I made it to the van unscathed.

40. Do you like sweets? If so, what’s your favorite dessert? ♡ I love angel food cake

41. Do you have any beauty products, health routines, or special diet to keep you at your best? ♡ I take co-q-10 for my eczema, I like laneige lip sleeping mask, especially in the winter.

42. What were the best and worst meetups you’ve hosted? If you haven’t hosted, would you like to someday? ♡ I wanted to host a garden meet this summer but covid ruined that. Maybe next year.

43. Who is your favorite artist? If not famous for lolita art, do you think they have lolita appeal? ♡ I love a lot of artists, some of them I think are lolita-adjacent because their style is kawaii. I’ll list some here: jisaaaa! ubokhee MISOART_ meowwniz gojio_ hanavbara Fancy Surprise Arcade Healer Yurie Sekiya and many many more. Go stalk my following on instagram for lots of kawaii artists.

44. How do you feel about wigs? Do you wear any, or style your natural hair? ♡ I used to wear wigs, but my hair is too long now so I use my natural hair with fake bangs.

45. What’s your favorite animal motif? ♡ bears?

46. Have you ever visited a brand’s shop/boutique? If so, what was your reaction? If not, what shop would you most like to visit? ♡ I want to visit AP San Francisco

47. Do you think posting photos of your coord online is a crucial part of belonging to the community? ♡ YES, it’s how we all stay connected and inspired

48. How has the lolita community changed since you became a part of it? Where do you see lolita heading in the future in terms of community and networking? ♡ I think it’s become way more accepting and accessible. When I got into lolita there were virtually no legit resellers, the community was entirely on livejournal, buying second hand was a nightmare. Buying anything! was a nightmare. There was so much stress around looking “ita”, and the superiority of brand. These days its just not like that. So much amazing taobao brands have really helped even the field for lolita. We have so much more access to the clothes, the community, everything. It’s great. I only see it getting better as years go on.

49. What advice would you give someone who is nervous about starting lolita? Or do you think they should learn their own lessons? ♡ I think too many lolitas today rely on seasoned lolitas to tell them everything. I would say, go watch lovely lor, read @lolita-tips and look at other peoples coordinates. Lolita Tips tumblr taught me basically everything I know back in the day and it a wealth of info and concrit. Part of what makes the lolita journey so great is the research, the learning, the mistakes. You don’t wanna be like someone else, you wanna be you. So you really need to do the work yourself so you can put your personal flair into the fashion. That’s when it’s at its best.

50. What’s your dream dress/garment? Is it a faraway goal or have you obtained it? ♡ My dream dress was AP sweetie violet jsk in lavender. Which I got in 2019. My new dream dress is AP rose tea garden jsk in navy. It’ll probably be a while before I can afford to buy one.

51. How do you feel about the stereotype that lolitas are full of drama? What’s the worst drama you’ve ever witnessed or been involved in? ♡ I think any and all groups of people are bound to have drama. I don’t believe that’s specific to lolita at all. I personally have not been involved in any lolita drama.

52. Are you loyal to any particular makeup brands? ♡ I am very particular about my makeup because I do not like to use certain ingredients. I really like Pacifica. But I also like some Korean brands like The Saem, MISSHA, and TonyMoly.

This was super long but I had fun answering all the questions. Have you done this questionnaire? I’d love to see your answers~

#about me #lolita asks #loliprompts #52 weeks of lolita #lolita fashion #egl community #j fashion

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