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#I love the reveal that he's not even a smart con artist he's just a piece of shit
andthebeanstalk · 1 year
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One of the things I love about Glass Onion is the way that the camera and music work together to tell nonverbal jokes.
Like when Benoit basically has to hold Miles' hand to get him to the conclusion that someone reset the puzzle box Benoit lies about receiving:
Benoit asks if it's possible that someone reset the box, and Miles then declares that someone must have reset the box like it is this huge reveal - and the camera zooms out while the music subtly swells as though he really has figured out something smart, when actually he literally restated what Benoit just said.
#original#I love the reveal that he's not even a smart con artist he's just a piece of shit#he's just a shameless copycat that people keep enabling to do bad things bc they assume he knows what he's talking about bc he's rich#like that line in Fiddler on the Roof - 'it won't matter if I'm wrong or if I'm right cuz you're rich they think you really know!'#glass onion#knives out glass onion#benoit blanc#Daniel Craig#ed norton#I hope the YouTuber sideways does a video about this because he does incredible music theory videos about movie scores#and I bet there are a bunch of hidden meanings within the music that I have no idea how to pick out#that man is like a wizard to me I don't understand how someone can understand music that much!#So cool!#I started this movie like 2 hours ago and I'm barely half an hour in cuz I keep stopping to write film theory essays on Tumblr#oh Adderall you cad!#I have no regrets I feel like this is helping me understand film better. i care a lot about the language of Storytelling#and I must say my favorite medium is film. I am writing a graphic novel right now but if I knew I could just skip that part and make it#into a show. I would do that. I don't wanna draw that much! I like drawing! but I want to see it as a show!!#this is too many drawings!!!!!#but for various reasons the film industry is not really a great place for me - or even possible as a physically disabled person#hard to work yourself up to the director's chair when all the entry positions involve standing for 14 hours at a time#I hope that if I ever do manage to make my graphic novel into a TV show that I will maintain enough control over the project to ensure#accessible hiring practices and workplaces#but in the meantime I guess I have to make waaaay too many drawings#no I can't shorten the story I don't have that kind of control it is an epic saga and the world's longest Slow Burn and that is that
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Shawn Spencer, from Psych
-even though he's not religious, he loves free stuff and also playing silly roles so he'd probably accept the crucifix while also adopting some kind of silly accent and dramatic backstory.
-con artist/detective masquerading as a psychic. would absolutely pretend to believe in vampires, but is a skeptic so he would be faking it. That said, he's extremely willing to work on the assumption of extremely wild explanations while he figures out what is really going on.
-very charming but also very annoying. Debatable whether Dracula would be amused/played by him long enough or if Shawn's hogging the spotlight/being ridiculous would irritate him too much. I feel like this also depends on how soon Shawn realizes how serious the situation is because if he isn't taking it too seriously, his antics will be intensified
-photographic memory and genius intellect, very good at putting together clues.
-very good at sneaking around and spying on stuff
-huge fan of the big reveal which would work against him if he tried it here
Is St George's Day May 5th or April 23rd? He's heard it both ways.
Shawn is too smart for his own good, and he's going to be seriously hampered by a couple of things. First off, Gus is most of his impulse control, common sense, and the crucial other half of his double act - will he, like Holmes, be "lost without [his] Boswell" ? (I have no idea who Boswell is). Second, he's all about the Bit - he has to perform all the time, he lives for it. Is Dracula sufficient audience for him to thrive? And third, his overwhelming approach is Refuge in Audacity, which I suspect will not be very well received by Dracula. But then, Dracula also does love playing the game - but his own game, not someone else's.
I agree that Shawn would lean into the vampire angle as part of a Bit, which might make him slower to realize that, no, yeah, that's actually what's going on. Oh gosh he might introduce him as Van (first name) Helsing (lastname), Vampire Hunter, just because he's Like That. (*Gus voice* NO SHAWN).
I also agree with you about the crucifix. I think he would react very similarly to Jonathan with the "I was uncomfortable but..." - sort of an "awkward but okay." Shawn's thing is that he's an excellent cold reader, so he would pick up on the fear of the locals, and maybe go in with more internal caution than he displays outwardly, which might well give him a chance.
The cold reading is also going to help him grok Dracula fairly early on a personal level. Dracula's not as subtle as he thinks he is. It should be fairly straightforward for Shawn to figure out what makes him tick and how to keep him talking. Shawn is a fine actor and nothing if not committed to the Bit. I don't think he'd opt for a Polite Young Man approach because he has to be ridiculous or he'll die, but he might lean hard into an obsequious servant/vampire thrall/pop-culture Renfield approach, since Dracula clearly enjoys being buttered up in that way. This could backfire though, because if he goes too far and Dracula suspects him of insincerity he'll just kill him.
Shawn is also in danger of succumbing to despair, but the isolation will both help and hinder him with that. The silver lining is that his loved ones are not in any kind of danger, which is when things tend to get really bad for him. But he also thrives only with an audience and a support system, and locked in his room cudgelling his brains for two months isn't going to provide him with either. It's a cat and mouse game, and Shawn does well with games in general. He's playing to win.
This one's hard. I think Shawn's worst enemy is probably himself. He can figure out Dracula, which will make him cocky, which (without his balancing influences) might make him go too far with whatever bit he's chosen, which will get him killed. Dracula runs this game, no one else - he doesn't tolerate being played with unless it's by his own rules. He's very good at what he does but he frequently gets in over his head and needs to pivot - which he does admirably! - but it's hard to pivot your way out of a head bashing when your chief weapon is being very cute in an irritating sort of of way.
I've gone back and forth a couple of times, but I ultimately am going to say that Shawn Spencer, Psychic Detective, can not survive Castle Dracula
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the-writer-nerd-ro · 1 year
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Louie and Gosalyn, maybe?? I always wanted to see their dynamic :D
I love these two they're so devious, I had to write the start of their friendship
Send me asks pairing two of the Ducktales good guys and I will write a short fic with them interacting. Not for Ships. Based on this post.
Fic below:
"Dewey's not here today," Louie said, having opened the door to reveal a very serious, expectant looking Gosalyn.
"Shoot. What about Huey?"
"No, they're all off on a thing." Another adventure that Louie had just narrowly avoided.
"Even Webby?"
"Mm-hm."
"What about your ghost butler?"
"He does what he wants. What's up?"
"Nothing."
"Oh come on, I'm not even your last resort? That's offensive. I thought we were friends."
"Name one time we've hung out."
Louie opened his mouth.
"Webby's birthday party doesn't count."
Louie closed his mouth, sulking a little.
"I am just as good as Huey or Dewey," Louie insisted.
"What about Webby?"
"I'm not delusional, but she's not here so take it or leave it."
Gosalyn let out a frustrated sigh.
"Fine."
"No need to be grateful or anything. What's the problem?"
"I think my dad- er, Drake, is being scammed. I want to give the scammer a taste of their own medicine."
Louie's eyes lit up. He loved scamming scammers. This would be the perfect way to kill an afternoon.
Twenty minutes later they had set up a war room in the den, beginning to pull up everything they could on this con artist.
"Oh, I've dealt with this loser before. His schemes are so see-through, how is your dad falling for these?"
"Drake is an excellent hero and he's very smart in very specific areas. But he's not always the sharpest in the business sense."
"Well then he needs someone like us. Let's destroy this fool."
They made short work of it from there, another scheme becoming apparent to Louie as the pair celebrated their victory with popcorn and cans of Pep!
"You knew the others weren't here today, didn't you?"
"Maybe."
"You knew I'd only help you if I thought you didn't want my help. I can't believe I fell for that."
"To be fair, I think I was pretty convincing."
Louie drew a business card from his hoodie pocket.
"Louie Inc. is always looking to hire sharp minds like you."
"Maybe we could become friends before we become business partners?" Gosalyn suggested.
"Alright, alright. Do you like Ottoman Empire?"
"I've never seen it."
Louie's eyes widened in surprise and excitement.
"You're going to love it."
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smol-jinyoungie96 · 3 years
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The Devil Judge - Episode 8 (so many questions)
This episode has left me emotionally scarred and with far too many questions.
So many.
Something that made my heart hurt is that Kang Yohan didn’t take Ga On directly back to the car, he took him to an open space where he could let out all his pent up emotions and get it done and over with because once they go back and once the game actually starts, there won’t be any time for emotions.
“A system has no chance against power, power can control a system however it likes”
Meaning that, even though the system is established to keep the power even, ultimately the system itself can be manipulated by those in power in their favor and that is what Kang Yohan has seen all his life.
This time when Yohan opens up about his past, the reason why I think he might be telling the truth, or at least what’s relevant, is because of the pure hatred he had in his eyes when he spoke,
Minister Cha, who is the reason why Elijah is confined to the wheelchair, says “I thought so much of my poor boy, who I’d never said a kind word to”
She worries for her son, which as a mother, obviously makes sense. But she didn’t think twice before crushing a little girl to make it out alive and never even bothers to check up on her to see if she survived.
The President says “We share an experience. We know very well how you feel. Why wouldn’t we? We were in the same boat. In the same fire”
True they were in the same fire but they don’t share the same experience. They made it out alive while Kang Yohan lost his brother and left his niece crippled.
“The rest of us must continue his legacy, the property he donated”
They didn’t come to the hospital to mourn his loss with him. They were there to assure him that they would put the money to good use. Because the fear that he would cancel the donations was already there and then a second later, they go on talking about the weather being lovely for a picnic.
None of them were affected while Kang Yohan grew his hatred for them right there.
Kim Ga On’s attentiveness was really something in this episode. Even when he was freaking out about the swapped con artist he still noticed the small details,
1. interaction between the guard and Kang Yohan.
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2. During the chant thing they did even though the shot makes it look like he was looking at Ga On, Bambi knows he was staring at someone behind him.
Initially it raises suspicion towards Kang Yohan to say if he changed the guy so he could break Ga On to a point where he has to rely on Yohan.
“To achieve his goal, would he not use another man’s pain”
Even through him being reduced to the point of essentially losing his mind, Kim Ga On still is wary of Yohan at the first half.
Jung Sun Ah becomes more and more devious and crazier every episode. In the last episode she says “we have Mr. Seo” indicating to the viewers that they can rely on him to get them out of the situation but when in reality,
It just meant that his part in her plan had already come to an end.
The public sees that guy as a well wisher for their country. If he dies and takes the blame for it, of course the public will sway.
But it also shows how the rich will wag their tail to whichever side has more of an advantage towards them.
But then Kang Yohan knows about the Public too. When Ga On suggests that they should release a statement denying the video and the allegations, Yohan cuts it off right there.
“This country shows generosity in death”
They will be made out to be the bad guys in the eyes of the public and it’s just instant game over.
The president’s speech during this episode was so similar to the one he gave in the first episode except this time, he is favoring Sun Ah because Kang Yohan isn’t on their side anymore.
Soo Hyun speaking facts!
“He took you there and presented it to you like a magic stick”
1. What is Kang Yohan’s intention?
2. Does Kang Yohan have ulterior motive behind taking Ga On there?
I saw a lot of people worried about Ga On saying “I’ll play along with Kang Yohan and find out more”
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But there’s always two possibilities for this,
One being he will actually play along and dig for more information OR he only says it to her to keep her safe because knowingly or unknowingly, Ga On himself is in too deep in whatever plan Yohan has.
Jung Sun Ah showing up in Yohan’s office to flaunt her new position is also just a power play. It only to show him that she is in charge of the live show and that if needed, she is capable to putting the show on a leash.
Coming to Miss Oh Jin Joo
“I’m a judge in this country and a member of this live court show. If you’re going to do things like this hold the trial yourself”
Versus
“If you include me in the live court show, it would be my honor to just to be able to sit next to you”
What she started with and where she is now. Jin Joo and Ga On both started as naive associate judges but now they’ve both clearly grown into something more. The two of them are falling into two different notions of Justice.
But Kang Yohan sees too clearly through Oh Jin Joo’s change. He acknowledges her becoming ambitious as a judge and he most definitely knows where the change came from.
Little Ga On going “you are cutting off people right next to you” does he still not realize that Kang Yohan only has eyes on him?
Kang Yohan already succeeded in splitting up Minister Cha from her group of elites and even she is a little smarter than people give her credit for. She is on to Sun Ah and soon enough Yohan is going to have her where he exactly wants her.
Kang Yohan and Kim Ga On
Yohan is smart. He kept trying to give as little information to Ga On as he could because even though he broke Ga On, Bambi still didn’t choose a side.
Which brings me to the question that appeared in my head the most,
Why is Ga On so important to Yohan?
“Do you have to go this far?”t
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“Whether we like it or not, I can’t let him stand behind my back”
“I need to have him on my side or to get rid of him”
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Why is Ga On such a big risk factor to him? I understand that Ga On knows too much about Yohan and his plans now for Yohan to let him loose but why is it so important to him to have Bambi on his side?
Ga On saying “it’s my silly imagination” i really don’t think he’s talking about his “theory”. It felt more like a hint towards his broken trust on the law and justice.
Min Jung Ho saying “once a monster is unleashed, it doesn’t know when to stop”
Could it be foreshadowing? Because Ga On is clearly very close to losing it by the middle of the episode and he is still insisting on putting Ga On at a crossfire about betraying Yohan (though at this point I really don’t think it will end well for Ga On is he betrays Yohan)
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Kang Yohan taking Ga On to meet his team essentially reveals that he did rig the cases in a certain way but the trials were genuine, which, to a person like Ga On, is more of a battle of morals.
Was it right to punish them by rigging it?
I think this is going to end with Oh Jin Joo and Jung Sun Ah vs. kang Yohan and Kim Ga On.
Kang Yohan and Jung Sun Ah are taking the two associate judges under their wing, both by emotional manipulation with two different intentions.
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Sun Ah saying “someone needs to keep their eyes wide open” very similar to what Min Jung Ho said to Ga On in the very beginning.
Again,
WHY IS KIM GA ON SO IMPORTANT TO YOHAN?
“If I needed to, I would have done something even worse, whether it was switching him or something else. That is my method. It is not going to change in the future”
Felt more like a warning to Ga On for me. Once he’s on Yohan’s side there’s no getting out of it.
Lastly, Ga On talking with Min Jung Ho. This part was so interesting!
At first Ga On did everything his mentor asked him for and now he directly fires questions right back and he is finally blaming the authorities for not doing their jobs right.
Something that highlighted for me was Ga On saying “you should have done better” not “we”
He says it in past tense. He’s already given up on being faithful to the norms of justice.
Yohan knew that Ga On was going to meet Min Jung Ho, he picked him right away and!
Kim Ga On started with Min Jung Ho and this shot somehow made me think that they’re showing how,
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he’s breaking away from Min Jung Ho,
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to team up with Yohan.
Bambi chose his side.
But Ga On is not all about the revenge. Yet.
It felt like a deal between the two of them. Yohan helps him find out the truth about his parents and in return, Ga On stays with him.
There are still things that Ga On doesn’t know about Yohan but now that Yohan successfully broke him and took him under his wing, Ga On wouldn’t be able to leave even if he wanted to.
May be that’s why he is such a big risk factor. Ga On knows too much for Yohan to lose him now.
Every episode kills me more and more 😭
I can’t wait for the next episode!
But hey! Look at these two shots!
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sunriseverse · 4 years
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rec listtttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
fair warning there’s a lot of different fandoms here—i have, uh. twenty-two pages of bookmarks. lots of newmann though, i promise. in no particular order, i give you a fic rec list
the future’s owned by you and me by kaiyen (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 7k, Not Rated)
Years after they stopped writing each other, Newt and Hermann run into each other on the steps of Cambridge University Library. Quite literally.
 Newt stares at him, expecting more. He doesn’t get any. “Come on, man, who are you? Maybe I’ve read something.”
 I doubt it, Hermann barely catches himself from saying. “Gottlieb. Hermann Gottlieb.”
 And Newt looks like he’s struck oil. “Oh my god,” he says, and something flickers behind his eyes, like there’s more than just recognition there, and before he can wonder any more about what it is, Newt blurts, “Oh my god!” and Hermann flinches and makes a face like a disgruntled frog.
What you can expect: emotions, opprotunities missed, and opprotunities taken. I absolutely adore this fic, though I might be biased by the fact that it has Newt as bipolar, and that’s something I always crave (more bipolar Newt fic when???).
Survival is for Nerds by Annabeelee (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 46k, Teen and Up)
It's three hundred and two years after humanity lost to the Kaiju and two hundred and twenty one since the Kaiju left. Not that it matters to Hermann. In relation to following a neurotic genetic experiment across whats left of the Northern American continent while dodging alien predators and hostile subgroups of humans, its possibly the least helpful thing to keep in mind.
What you can expect: scifi, tension, and a very intersting world. Post-apocalyptic, technically, but the way it’s written makes it almost hopeful. I love how the setting and writing makes it feel like a blend between victorian steampunk and futuristic in tone.
people can surprise you (or not) by pdameron (James Bond, James Bond/Q, 10k, Teen and Up)
“I’m not you, Bond. I don’t exactly have a technique for getting rich strangers to like me.”
“Just do your naive cute puppy thing, and they’ll be doting on you in no time,” Bond replies as he pulls up to the grand estate.
“My what?” Q asks incredulously. Bond doesn’t answer, simply giving him an indulgent smile. The fucker.
(or: 00q meets Gosford Park. Except not really.)
What you can expect: humour, murder, and some light espionage. Also, fake dating.
Infinite Distance by lachatblanche (X-Men, Erik Lensherr/Charles Xavier, 7k, Teen and Up)
When they encounter an unfamiliar and seemingly-abandoned ship in the middle of nowhere in space, Captain Charles Xavier of the spaceship Graymalkin heads out to investigate.
What you can expect: drama! Intruige! It’s set in space! I read this a while ago but I have memories of it being rather riveting despite the relatively short length.
Gertrude’s Goulash by lollzie (Gotham, Edward Nygma/Oswald Cobblepot, 7k, General Audiences)
Ed needs a new roommate. Oswald needs a room. Oswald may just be the most amazing person Ed has ever met. Shame he's not single. Cue wooing via the medium of cooking.
What you can expect: pining, misunderstandings, obliviousness, and a lot of goulash as a method of romancing.
Death Of The Author by happygolovely (Gotham, Edward Nygma/Oswald Cobblepot, 9k, Mature)
Edward Nygma was never intended to be anything more than a secondary character.
The Riddler demands otherwise.
What you can expect: a story within a story within a story. You think you have it figured out, and the next moment the carpet is yanked out from beneath you. Fairly dark, possibly disturbing, but my goodness if it’s not engaging.
we make our friends, we make our enemies by ORiley42 (Mission: Impossible, Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt, 52k, Teen and Up)
Benji finds out he has a new neighbor. This new neighbor happens to be off-the-charts hot. Hijinks, friendship, more-than-friendship, and secret agent drama ensue.
What you can expect: pining. There’s spy stuff going on too, and it eventually gets brought up, but my gods, the pining. Also, it’s fucking hilarious, and, at just over fifty thousand words, the perfect read when you’ve got an hour or two and you want something that’ll make you both laugh and cry.
Self-Sabotage by EmilyweepsforPilfrey (James Bond, James Bond/Q, 2k, Teen and Up)
For some reason, whenever he's alone with Bond, the most ridiculous things come out of Q's mouth.
Or 'the one where Q accidentally invents a girlfriend'.
What you can expect: Q being an utter idiot. It’s hilarious. Nice quick bite of humour if you fancy it.
The Long Con by harleygirl2648 (Hannibal, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, 19k, Teen and Up)
There are two kinds of cons: long and short. Short cons mean short-term gain, with smaller rewards, mostly just everything you have in your pocket at that moment. Long cons mean lots of time, effort, costumes, masks, props, sets, and other characters all looking to set up the downfall of the mark and take them for all that they've got.
Con Artist/Thieves AU: Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter are both interested in acquiring a Botticelli, but both of them are quite fond of each other's short games. For both of them, it's the deception and thrill of the game that's worth more than the payout.
And well, after all, aren't the easiest people to scam are those who think they are smart enough to not get scammed?
What you can expect: no cannibalism, a lot of banter, and, of course, con artistry. Quite delightful if I do say so myself.
deus ex machina by coloredink (Hannibal, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, 26k, Teen and Up)
"What the hell?" said Katz.  "Is that--"
"Yeah, I know, it's kinda flashy."  Will shut the car door behind him and patted his pockets for the little fob to lock the car.
"Isn't that Hannibal Lecter's car?"
The car beeped to indicate it was locked.  "Yeah, I guess so."  Will walked away, toward the field, Katz on his heels.  "I needed a new car."
"So you bought the cannibal car?"
-----
You asked for it: the one where Hannibal is a murderous self-driving car.
What you can expect: what it says on the tin. Quite funny, especially with the element of magical realism meaning Hanni-car is sentient. The Hannigram is more vaguely implied than an actual thing, owing, probably, to the fact that Hannibal is, well, a car.
adapt, evolve, become. by peupeugunn (Alex Rider, Gen, 3k, Not Rated)
“This is how you get out. You're slowly moving towards a desk job.” A pause, then, “you know, most people do it the other way around.” Alex chuckles softly and and shuffles towards him to lean against his shoulder, burrowing into the crook of his neck. Ben’s arm winds around him, shields him from the world, a solid weight on his back. “You're going to miss the adrenaline rushes, kid.” There's something almost sad in his voice. Alex doesn't want to understand why. Down that road lies madness. 
What you can expect: a character study, in a bit of a roundabout way.
A Sharp Dressed Man by Avelera (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 12k, Teen and Up)
Hermann's latest book needs an author photo. However, when he's given a makeover and a suit that actually fits for the photo shoot, his appearance is so transformed that Newt mistakes him for his (much hotter) older brother, Dietrich.
Hermann decides to play along.
What you can expect: gods this fic is so good. It’s the first Newmann fic I ever read, and I’ve reread it a good six times since 2018. I would say more, but I think the fic speaks for itself.
Gestures by Actually_Crowley (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 7k, Teen and Up)
Newton finds out what Hermann does with his rare free time, but the discovery leads him to believe that Hermann honestly and unequivocally hates him. 
What you can expect: the rituals are fucking intricate. I love this fic so so so much. And the eventual reveal/confession...scream.
Fate’s Horrifying Ways (also known as: CHRISTMAS GODZILLA) by linearoundmythoughts (Pacific Rim, Newton Geislzer/Hermann Gottlieb, 4k, Teen and Up)
Your name is Newton Geiszler and you’re going to have to break things off with your sort-of online boyfriend because you’re cheating on him. Sort of. [AKA the most dramatic summary of a humorous crackfic ever ok]
Originally written for the Pacrim Secret Santa back in 2014.
What you can expect: first off, it’s not second person, I promise. It is, though, really fucking funny, owing to the misunderstandings that ensue. There’s much pining, some angsting, and, of course, humour.
Letters From Berlin by spenshi (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 12k, Teen and Up)
Newton keeps in touch with his family when he's shipped off to the Shatterdome. Jacob and Illia send care packages to the K-Science Lab. 
What you can expect: Geiszler-family feels. A lot of them. Also, Newt and Hermann slowly growing closer to until they can finally admit they’re into each other.
Wishbone by cypress_tree (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 8k, Teen and Up)
Hermann doesn't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, so Newt invites him over for food, family, and a little bit of flirting.  Just a warm, fuzzy college AU to get you through the holidays. 
What you can expect: fluff, softness, general feel-good fic. It’s really good, and it has Geiszler-family feels. Reading this fic is a bit like drinking hot cocoa on a cold day.
next days by catbeans (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 5k, Teen and Up)
Hermann had never felt an ache quite like this one, and he had felt plenty. He had been running on adrenaline first, and then on the necessity to keep running, pain and bone-deep exhaustion falling to such a low priority that he couldn't even consider it one anymore, and then it had stopped.
(the 18 hour nap date these guys deserve)
What you can expect: Newt and Hermann cuddling. A lot. That’s really it, that’s the fic. It’s 100% indulgent and I love it for that.
Tebori by SkysongMA (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 7k, Not Rated)
Newt squints. "It's really not a sex thing? 'Cause I'm not opposed to it being a sex thing, mind you. I just don't want to come in the lab tomorrow and not get to throw things at your stupid face."
Hermann lets out an endless, long-suffering sigh. "It's really not a sex thing, Newton, honestly. We hate each other. That's worked out very well for us so far, and it will continue to work out for us in the future." He doesn't mention that they haven't always hated each other and that, at one point in their long relationship, showing up unannounced at Newton's door for the purpose of sexual favors would not have been so far out of the realm of possibility. Had been, in fact, one of those things Hermann had considered late at night long ago, when he couldn't go a week without a fat envelope in the mail full of Newt's ramblings.
But that was quite some time ago, and he means it. They each get more work done than they would ever have separately, even if only because they like to rub their progress in the other's face.
Anyway, admitting anything different would just give Newt ammunition
What you can expect: Newt gives Hermann a tattoo. There’s a lot of feels.
Newt Inherits a Bar by orphan (Pacific Rim and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 11k, Not Rated)
The scary part is the bar looks exactly like Newt remembers.
What you can expect: you’ll probably tear up a bit. This one hits pretty hard, honestly, but it’s so, so, so good.
First a Darling, Then a Marvel by isozyme (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 20k, Mature)
Newt runs a simulation given three constraints:
1: Newt wants to clone a kaiju 2: Hermann does not want Newt to clone a kaiju 3: Newt is going to clone a kaiju anyway
What you can expect: a lot of sciencing, a lot of feels, and two repressed idiots. There’s like, a paragraph or two of smut but it’s pretty clear when it’s going to happen so it’s easy to skip, which is great. The tl;dr of this fic is Newt clones some kaiju, Hermann reminds him how fucking horrible of an idea that is, and everything more or less works out in the end.
Tea and Sympathy by osprey_archer (Torchwood, Owen Harper/Ianto Jones, 13k, Teen and Up)
Soon after Jack's disappearance, Owen takes sick. Ianto goes to check on him.
What you can expect: crabby doctors, put-upon Welshmen, and a fuckton of emotions that everyone is trying to ignore. Not particularly happy, but then, when is Torchwood ever? It’s good while it lasts, though.
Pareidolia by hal_incandenza (Pacific Rim and The Black Tapes Podcast, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 102k, Mature)
It starts as a profile of paranormal investigator and professional skeptic Dr. Hermann Gottlieb. But it seems the further journalist Newt Geiszler delves into his cases, the more mysterious Dr. Gottlieb becomes. What is he hiding? What is he looking for? What is the truth? What is the difference between a journalist's idea of truth, and a scientist's?
Seeing is not believing. Believing is believing.
What you can expect: suspense, mystery, horror, pining, and apocalypse cults, with a dash of an ambiguous ending. I love this fic so much. I literally would stop what I was doing to read it when I got an alert that there was an update when it was still a work in progress.
Meet Me There Across The Water, And We’ll Start An Endless Storm by Skepticamoeba (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 35k, Teen and Up)
Hermann, an honorably discharged veteran has retired to continue working as a Keeper at a Lighthouse. It is perfectly solitary, and with little in the way for incidents. Newton is the sailor that washes up on the seashore after a summer storm.
[Late 19th century Lighthouse Keeper AU--or the one where Hermann was an aspiring artist whose dreams got a bit derailed, and Newt is the sailor that needs to learn to take his time with things.]
What you can expect: the pining........the intricate rituals............the denial.........*chef’s kiss*
and I couldn’t whisper when you needed it shouted by Lvslie (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 24k, Teen and Up)
He still smells like Newt; bears traces of his recent nearness. Clothes sleep-wrinkled from the proximity, from the way Newt’s ankle has during the night hooked around the calf of Hermann’s good leg and dragged his whole body seamlessly closer. Cheek half-flushed from the face unconsciously nuzzled his into the side of Hermann’s neck—evidence of his presence, fast asleep, as Hermann lay still and fretful for hours an end, staring at the ceiling and feeling sick with wanting.
[An early 20th century AU inspired loosely by Maurice and Age of Innocence.]
What you can expect: wistfulness, pining, repression, denial, lots of feelings. You’ll probably tear up. There’s an achingly happy ending for both of them. This is one of the fics I want a hard copy of so I can mark it up because, fuck, I love it so much.
leave the car running by Macremae (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 1k, Teen and Up)
It is clear that, after everything, Newt doesn't like to be touched. 
What you can expect: touch starvation, mutual pining, Newt finally getting the human contact he deserves. I wrote my own version of this since it was initially a prompt, but quite frankly, I like Newton’s version better because it hits.
The Man Who Invented Sherlock Holmes by Calais_Reno (Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, 15k, Teen and Up)
John Watson, struggling young doctor, doomed to live an ordinary life, dreams of writing detective fiction. If he can just figure out his hero's name, the story will practically write itself.
What you can expect: Watson sort of, kind of, maybe invents a man into being. Oops. I haven’t read this one in a while but I remember it being quite a lot of fun. There’s elements of what I would say is probably magical realism, but it’s never quite clear.
Newton Isn’t Dead by Macremae (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb and Vanessa Gottlieb/Karla Gottlieb, 32k, Mature)
Newton Geiszler is currently being possessed by a genocidal alien race known as the Precursors. They’ve taken over his body, leaving him a prisoner in his own mind. However, Newt has a totally awesome plan. He’s going to make a deal with them: let him prove that Earth is worth saving, and if he can’t do that, they can have his body. But convincing a hivemind full of mega-colonizers that one blue planet can be wonderful isn’t going to be easy. He’s going to need the help of his kind-of-ex Hermann, his best friend Vanessa, and one awesome Footloose remake to pull this off.
So, naturally, they go on a road trip.
What you can expect: pining, world-saving, eventual confessions and happy endings. I had the great honour of reading the chapters before they were published, and this fic is one of my top five favourite fics. There were multiple points where I yelled, both literally (quietly) and through text (slightly less quietly).
it takes time, but time moves slow by prettydizzeed (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 2k, Teen and Up)
Hermann conducts a cost-benefit analysis every class period of sitting in the back of the lecture hall versus walking down the stairs to the front. He wishes he had hard data for this, to get some actual statistics, and perhaps after a while, if he records his pain level and his ability to read the board and pay attention after each class, he will be able to predict the outcomes given either choice on a particular day.
Two curves, traveling in opposite directions, inversely proportional: pain goes up, concentration goes down. It’s comforting, somewhat, to make it a numbers game. Impersonal. Absolute. Not a tragedy, and not his doing, only his to interpret, a smudged scrawl across his left knee in an unfamiliar handwriting, his to analyze, to decrypt.
What you can expect: the fic may only be 2k, but it will leave you feeling like you were punched. It’s fantastic.
I Could Be Jew-ish For You by Macremae (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 10k, Teen and Up)
When Hermann agrees to spend Chanukah with his family in an attempt to wheedle some desperately-needed funding out of his father, Newt insists that he shouldn’t face Lars alone and tags along as his “emotional support family rage distraction”. What they fail to realize are two things: 1. When Hermann brings Newt with him to the festivities, assumptions will be made, and 2. Newt may be half-Jewish, but he sure wasn’t raised as one. 
What to expect: fake dating fake dating fake dating— (can you tell I have a favourite trope?) In which Newt is Jew-ish, Hermann is both exasperated and pining, Lars is disliked, and we all get the Jewish romcom we deserve.
It Was Love At Second Sight by rednights (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 35k, Teen and Up)
Hermann receives the first letter when he is eighteen years old.
or: Kaiju don't attack the Earth, but Hermann and Newt still write letters, botch their first meeting, and fall in love, not necessarily in that order.
What you can expect: feels. So many fucking feels. There’s no kaiju but that doesn’t mean you won’t be on the edge of your seat.
hello my old heart by firebirdsuite (The Magnus Archives, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, 15k, Teen and Up)
Peter’s wrong, of course. When it’s all over, Martin does still want to tell Jon everything. It’s just—well, there’s a few things they need to work through first before they can get there.
Martin and Jon find each other again in Scotland.
What you can expect: tenderness, domesticity, and love. The perfect trifecta.
the truth about me (and the truth about me) by danimagus (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 11k, Teen and Up)
Newton suffers from a bout of memory loss and is told Hermann is his fiancé.
Hermann plays along, to his endless shame.
What you can expect: two words: fake dating. Gods, I love this fic, as Mary can attest from how I unceremoniously started screaming at her about it in her tumblr messages the day of/after it was published. This fic is great because it subverts the trope a bit, and thus avoids issues of consent that may otherwise have occured.
speak right to my heart without saying a word by thekaidonovskys (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 13k, General Audiences)
“Your eyes. Your expression. Your smile. I’ve worked with you for ten years, Hermann, and words have never been our primary method of communication.” 
What you can expect: to be knocked the fuck out emotionally. This one hits pretty hard, and that’s what makes it so good.
Transducer by hal_incandenza (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 85k, Teen and Up)
“I need you to hide something for me.”
“Oh, excellent. Of course, Newton, please allow me to jeopardize my career. And yours as well. My pleasure. Do go on.”
“Yeesh, relax,” said Newton. “It’s a personal thing, not a work thing.”
“As if there is any division between the two,” Hermann snapped.
If only you knew, Newt thought.
What you can expect: intruigue, alien tech, light espionage. This fic will have your little nerd heart beating double-time. It’s very very good.
A Really Private Person by astolat (Person of Interest, Harold Finch/John Reese, 18k, Mature)
The end of the world started on a Wednesday in March. 
What you can expect: badassery on Finch’s part. One of the few fics I have bookmarked for this fandom, and it’s bookmarked for good reason.
Party For Two by ProblemWithTrouble (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 18k, General Audiences)
 “My mother’s parents have a home in the Black Forest that has a guest house. They’ve often allowed me to stay there when I could spare the time.” Hermann looked distant as if he were remembering something; the warmth of a fire and a nice book and the smell of freshly made tea. “It will be quiet, and possibly too boring for you-”
 “It won’t be. I could use some quiet after the decade we’ve had. I could actually compile my research. And sleep. It sounds amazing.”
After the world doesn't end Newt and Hermann take a vacation together to live in a cabin and finally relax, as friends. Cue the pining, the longing, and the living together as best friends.
What you can expect: a fic that will wrap you up like a warm blanket. Mutual pining, vacationing together in a cabin, lots of feels—what more can you want?
Dream Drifting by MooseLane (Pacific Rim and Inception, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 5k, General Audiences)
"You're running an extraction on that spastic PPDC biologist, is what I hear." Chau fixes him with a side-eye. "I know I wouldn't want to go poking around in that little bastard's head."
(There are not enough Inception x Pacific Rim crossover fics, so I decided to change that.)
What you can expect: Inception meets Pacific Rim. There’s no other way to say it, really.
I’ve Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile (The Only Living Boy In New York) by gyzym (Inception, Arthur/Eames, 19k, Teen and Up)
Arthur's a corporate lawyer, Eames owns the coffee shop across the street, and all good love stories start with a quadruple shot latte. 
What to expect: Arthur is stressed, Eames runs a coffee shop, and, through the power of friendship and a lot of stress-baking, everything works out happily for our intrepid protagonist.
Kalimat/كلمات  by rainbowagnes (The Old Guard, Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicolò di Genova, 3k, Teen and Up)
Yusuf translates medical texts for Niccolò from Greek and Persian into Arabic, and Niccolò spots the substratum of the ideas of the classical authors that he had once believed the basis of his own civilisation that he would go to the sword to defend, translated and passed down and sewn into a no longer foreign script. There are words Yusuf does not know how to translate. They will never, ever know all of the words. The prospect is thrilling. --- It takes Niccolò lifetimes to learn Arabic. 
What you can expect: if you, like me, are, especially natively, multilingual, this might hit the sweet spot of Language Feels. It did for me. Also, Joe calling Nicky hayati? Yeah.
i never liked that ending either by Macremae (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 15k, Mature)
You want a better story. Who wouldn’t?    - Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out
Once upon a time Dr. Flick Tucker, K-Sci head of Biology, fought a bunch of highly scientific dragons to save the world. Then, they took over her life. It didn’t end well.
Once upon our time Dr. Newt Geiszler, marine biologist, sci-fi aficionado, and accidental discoverer of dimensional travel, got a chance to take her place. He has a couple of ideas.
In which Uprising is still a bad movie, musings on the nature of choice and personal autonomy are made, and somewhere, probably, a coin is showing heads every time.
What you can expect: everything’s fine this is a perfectly normal fic come here i want to cause you as much emotional damage as I can
Not Allowed by acedott (BBC Merlin, Gwen/Morgana, 1k, General Audiences)
Gwen has been dealing with self-imposed touch starvation since she was a child. Morgana sets out to challenge this. 
What you can expect: gays. Pining. Touch starvation. Need I say more?
Rocky Horror Pancake Show by ChuckleVoodoos (Daredevil, Matt Murdock/Franklin “Foggy” Nelson, 19k, Teen and Up)
Foggy falls asleep at exactly 12:00 AM, and he’s making a wish. He wakes up at 12:00 AM too—twenty-four hours before he fell asleep.
"Let's do the time warp again!"
What you can expect: Ground-hog Day style time-loop, lots of fluff, and a happy ending.
Ain’t No Nancy Kerrigan by cleverqueen (DC’s Legends of Tomorrow, Leonard Snart/Mick Rory, 13k, Teen and Up)
It's 1994, and young Lisa Snart's jumps aren't strong enough for an Olympic singles skater. Thankfully, her older brother has an athletic friend who can match her in pairs.
Mick Rory is hopelessly in love with Leonard Snart, though he'd never say anything about it, so he jumps at a chance to do Len's little sister a favor. If he's patient and works hard, maybe he'll even get to skate with her older brother.
What you can expect: pining, ice-skating, and general goodness. It’s fun, it’s funny, and it has a happy ending.
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sharkfish · 4 years
Text
late summer recs in the endless year of our lord 2020
masterpost of rec lists /// yeah it’s october  but i’m in texas so it’s still basically summer! 
*~*~*~if you like the fics, give love to the author via kudos and/or comments!!*~*~*~*~ 
under the cut to prevent endless scrolling~ 
8 Reasons by Threshie ***WIP***
Space pilot Dean is caught trying to break Sam out of prison, and ends up tossed into a cell with a half-man, half tentacly monster alien.
Adagio by noangelsinthegarrison (6k)
“His name’s Dean," Cas sighs, "And he’s really stupidly attractive, and when he dances, he feels it, you know? And it makes me feel like I know him, even though I don’t. He makes me feel like… like he’s dancing just for me.”
Gabriel rolls his eyes, “Wow, you’re over-dramatic when you’re horny.”
And He's Oh So Good by @jemariel ***WIP*** - completed, 10/13 chapters posted
Dean Smith is a man of routine, and it's been working very well for him, thank you very much.
Then Castiel walks into his life, and suddenly there's a splash of color that reveals just how gray everything had been before.
Can Dean let himself step out of his comfortable shell and experience the good things in life that he's forgotten about?
A Thousand Lies by @goldenraeofsun (73k)
Dean Winchester is the best con artist in the continental US. Conscripted into the life after a stupid mistake as a teenager, he works for a man only known as the Lightbringer. He specializes in the marriage con, tricking his marks into falling in love with him and bolting after the honeymoon with everything they own.
But the morning before his meticulously planned meet-cute with his newest assignment, he runs into an adorably clueless accountant named Cas in a coffee shop, and Dean’s entire view on life implodes.
Christmas Treats and Angel Heats by @malmuses (20k) 
Angels don't have a sex, or gender, nevermind a secondary gender—right? At least, that's what the Winchesters have been led to believe.
It's Christmas, and Dean misses his angel friend. He's been AWOL for days, and the Winchesters are worried.
When Cas returns to the bunker on Christmas Eve, very clearly in heat, a few of their assumptions are going to have to change.
Oh, and Dean is going to have to hide his feelings for Cas in the face of the news that the angel is an unmated omega, who desperately needs their help.
Merry Christmas, Dean!
Cliché Bingo by noangelsinthegarrison (3k)
Sometimes, Castiel thinks that if he were playing a game of cliché bingo with his own life he’d get a full house within seconds. He’s the smart kid who wears glasses; he’s the Christian who wears sweater vests; he’s the quietest, youngest son in a family of seven and, oh yes, he’s in love with Dean Winchester.
Who just happens to be his best friend. And his neighbour. And a jock. So that’s three in one right there.
Blaze And Fall by @casbeanwrites  (13k)
Dean's not handling his best friend and ex-roommate's "kinks" very well.
Until he learns how to handle them.
Dean Winchester and the Patron Saint of Blind Dates by @goldenraeofsun  (18k)
Dean Winchester's friends are a bunch of traitors. So he had a bad breakup two years ago and hasn't gotten back on the horse. Their intervention - a series of blind dates - can't be the solution.
But if this'll get his friends to stop, Dean can choke down over-priced spaghetti, make forced conversation, and drink whatever random cocktail the blue-eyed weirdo bartender makes for him next.
At least Cas has his back. One nod from Dean, and he'll swoop down from behind the bar and make excuses for Dean to bail. It would be a perfect system - except Dean can't stop trading knowing looks with Cas and focus on his damn dates instead.
From Ashes by kradarua (12k) 
“You’ll be able to use your legs again,” Sam rushed, “just...well, it might take a while.”
Dean exhaled sharply, frustrated, but forced himself to raise his head and take a look.
OR
Dean gets injured on the job, and Castiel falls in love with him by mistake.
Head Down, Walk with Reason by @goldenraeofsun (63k)
As an omega, Castiel is ineligible for the throne after his father dies. When his uncle takes the crown, Metatron's first order of business is to arrange a betrothal with King John for the hand of his firstborn son, the Crown Prince of Terra.
So Castiel flees.
On his first night on the run, Castiel stumbles into a band of outlaws just at the border. Injured and wary, he has no choice to stay with them. And although he had planned to return to his own kingdom once it was safe, home might not be the place he left, but instead with Dean, their alpha leader that took him in.
Russian to the Altar by @malmuses  (144k) 
“I need you to marry Castiel.”
They weren’t the words Dean expected to hear from his business partner’s mouth before their bakery-slash-chocolate shop opened for the day. He’d been quite happy being single—and who the fuck was Castiel, anyway?
It turned out that Castiel was a Russian erotic novelist in need of a ticket to America, and Dean… well, Dean was a last resort.
Save the Drake by VioletHaze (@scones-and-texting-and-murder) (33k)
Encouraged by his best friend Meg to create more connections in his life, Cas jumps into an online discussion surrounding the closing of the Drake, an independent and historic theater in his neighborhood. If nothing else, the confidence Cas gains as he makes a new online friend helps him to be less awkward around the guy in his building that he likes: Dean Winchester.
It’s not like Dean Winchester needs help meeting people, but a hasty decision to comment on a local news article leads him to make a virtual connection. It's a new sort of relationship for Dean, but soon the two of them are chatting all day long. He only wishes getting to know his downstairs neighbor Cas was this simple.
Sparks by vipjuly (21k)
The creepy house on the corner has been abandoned for years, everyone says. It's ramshackle and decrepit, the yard overgrown, the wrought iron fence bent and broken in some places. The adults in the neighborhood have asked the city to do something about that eyesore for so long, but the city insists that someone is paying property taxes on the house, therefore they cannot do anything about it.
So, everyone ignores it and pretends it doesn't exist. They definitely don't go anywhere near it, either.
Dean, though.
Dean is drawn to it as if by gravity.
Little by little, Dean repairs what he can. The monster inside the house ain't so bad, either.
Y'know. For a monster.
Such Familiar Magic by @saltnhalo (26k)
When solitary witch Castiel finds an injured dog unconscious in his garden, he takes it in. He's expecting to heal it, look after it for a few days, then perhaps return it to its owners.
He's not expecting it to be one of the strongest familiars he's ever met.
Sugar Stages by VioletHaze (6k)
He heard Dean before he saw him. It was like he brought an energy into the test kitchen that crept under Cas’s skin, an awareness of his carefree attitude that was equal parts calming and infuriating. Still, Cas resisted the urge to turn and look over his shoulder. He knew damn well how the internet talked, the way they “shipped” them, always zeroing in on what they considered lingering looks. He’d seen too many gifs of himself with his eyes photoshopped into hearts not to be aware of the way his every word and action with regard to Dean were being scrutinized.
You Shook Me All Quarantine Long series by @goldenraeofsun (4 fics around 10k each)
A series of quarantine-based one-shots with Creature Cas and Human Dean.
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somedayonbroadway · 4 years
Note
I think all the Newsie's AU's could be really entertaining but I would most like to know about the Leverage one and the Lilo & Stitch one.
Okay, so I had two people in a row ask for Lilo and Stitch while also requesting another outline, so I’ll be doing Lilo and Stitch very soon.
But… I LOVE this one.
So, for those of you who haven’t seen Leverage, you can watch it on Amazon Prime Video. It’s amazing and I adore it. My favorite character is Hardison. He’s everything. Nothing he says ever gets old. Hardison and Parker are literally so freaking cute that I just can’t. And I think I’ve already talked about how Spot Conlon is very similar to Eliot Spencer, at least the way I write him. So this’ll be fun.
So anyways…
Leverage AU
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Characters
Jack Kelly — Nate Ford
Katherine Plumber — Sophie Devereau
Spot Conlon — Eliot Spencer
Racetrack Higgins — Parker
Albert DaSilva — Alec Hardison
Jack Kelly: The Mastermind
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Jack is an alcoholic
He’s only twenty five when this story starts.
He used to work for an insurance company but after that same company let his baby brother die, refusing to pay for his treatment, Jack quit and has been a “functioning alcoholic” ever since.
Jack has anger issues that he refuses to acknowledge
Jack used to pride himself on being emotionally broken, but still never crossing over to the “dark side” of the law.
He’s the son of a numbers runner who was emotionally abusive
Was originally trying to become a catholic priest as he was strong in his faith but has since strayed a bit after losing Charlie, the only person in the world he truly loved
After meeting his team, Jack grows very protective of them, viewing them as a sort of family that he’d never really had, all except for Charlie.
Jack first meets the team when a man comes to him, begging him to keep an eye on a group of thieves as they execute a job he’s hired them for. After they are all double crossed by this man, narrowly escaping death, they come together to set things right and the team begs Jack to continue leading them as Jack shows them how good it feels to do the right thing, even if the right thing requires bending or breaking the rules.
Jack grew up extremely poor but is an excellent artist and chess player.
Jack likes to cook.
Jack loves to learn new things when he can’t drink to continue distracting himself.
Jack is the one to typically choose the clients his new team takes on.
Jack took Charlie in the second he turned eighteen, unable to trust his father who was a no good drunk.
Jack hates that he’s becoming just like his dad but refuses to stop.
Jack is more protective of Race than anyone else, as Race’s optimism and energy remind him of Charlie.
Jack serves as a mentor of sorts to Albert.
He is kept in check by Spot.
Jack is very quick witted, moving from one plan to the next as things change.
Jack gets his own father killed after a mission gone wrong.
Jack gets arrested protecting his team who he knows will go away for much longer than him for all the crimes they’ve committed.
Jack is the one who introduces the group to Katherine, the best grifter he’s ever seen, with whom he ends up falling for.
Katherine Plumber: The Grifter
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Katherine is a struggling actress who can’t perform to save her life, though is the best grifter in the business.
Katherine is very careful of her identity, meaning that absolutely no one knows her real name.
Katherine speaks nearly eleven languages.
Katherine has difficulty maintaining real relationships as it’s hard to decipher her acts from reality.
Before becoming a member of Leverage she focuses heavily on art theft
After meeting the team, she bonds with Race over art
Katherine manages to fake her death twice in two years and attend her own funeral at both
As Katherine is the only woman on the team, she often feels as though she doesn’t belong, but all of her boys adore her and protect her at all costs.
Katherine has an abundance of connections around the world, though none of them know her true identity.
Prides herself on long cons that she’d pulled in the past all by herself.
Katherine never reveals how she grew up to her friend as she is very good at letting things go and never getting attached but all of that changes when Jack reaches out to her.
Katherine is wanted in five countries.
Successfully stole the Stanley Cup and replaced it with a replica, though she does not care for Hockey and did all of it out of spite because someone told her she couldn’t.
Katherine makes a game of keeping her real name from Jack as she insists he has to earn the right to know it.
Katherine falls for Jack nearly as fast as he falls for her.
Though Jack and Katherine do sleep together a few times, they agree to keep it a secret for the good of the team.
Though Katherine and Jack aren’t much older than the rest of the team, they take on a sort of parental role for Race and Albert who both grew up orphans
Katherine eventually opens up her own acting company where she finds she is an excellent coach, though she was never a performer herself because she lacked a certain truth element when she would try to perform on stage or on screen.
Katherine is very close with the whole team, but is able to relax while around Spot, as he’s more an equal to her than Race and Albert, and Jack and her have a lot of tension sometimes.
She shares the most with Spot on accident as Spot is easy to talk to.
Runs away at some point to “find herself” after an old team of hers tries to kill her and the rest of her current team and comes back just in time for Jack to be arrested, saving all of them.
Spot Conlon: The Hitter
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Spot Conlon was in and out of the mob all growing up. (Eliot was black ops, but I want Spot to be younger, this is different).
He began training when he was very young and is a very skilled “retrieval specialist”
Spot has had to kill before and is ashamed of his past. When asked about it, he calmly asks his team not to get curious because he would tell them what he did 
Though the whole team consists of criminals, Spot believes them, especially Race and Albert, to be innocent and naive and he constantly looks out for them as best he can, acting as a sort of big brother for them until he catches feelings for Race (yeah sorry guys that’s gonna be different too)
Spot is very calm and never shows any kind of panic.
Spot is a trained chef
He grows up only fighting, learning to not get attached
The leverage team is his gateway to figuring out that he is capable of love
His role on the team is protection. He is always around to keep his team out of trouble when something goes wrong or even when things go right and he has to disarm people on purpose.
Spot is wicked smart and is able to discern things from noises, smells, walking patterns etc. always stating “It’s a very distinctive __”
Knows various types of martial arts and uses them regularly
Though not technically a grifter, Spot has an easy time playing different roles and can blend in easily with a crowd.
Hostage negotiator
Survivalist
He’s extremely protective of his team and is willing to go great lengths to make sure they’re safe and secure
Has a budding relationship with Albert who constantly gets himself into trouble that Spot has to get him out of.  
Was known as Sean before Race showed up and gave him a non threatening nickname based on his freckles
Can play the guitar
Manages to get shot at constantly, taking a few bullets but refusing to walk with crutches.
He loves teaching Katherine how to defend herself
Loves teaching Race knew things as well
Speaks six languages
Spot is not familiar with a lot of technology, causing him to often need Albert’s help with that kind of thing
Has rescued Race and Albert from being kidnapped or hurt the most
As times goes on, finds himself more and more in love with his team and really does love to protect them
Sees Albert as a little brother, even if he won’t admit it.
Racetrack Higgins: The Thief
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Has been a thief since he was very young, maybe seven, but only gives his team made up stories about how it all started
Has a hard time coping with grief or pain, which is why he likes to make up stories about his past.
Abusive father killed Race’s mother when he was very young
Race grew up in foster care until he ran away at twelve, eventually getting raised on the street by an elite thief who spotted his talents and offered to train him, making him the best thief in the world
Is socially awkward on account of being a loner for most of his life and rarely ever opens up about his childhood
Despite this, Race is very loud and curious, almost childlike with his team, thus why Katherine and Jack become sort of parental figures toward him.
Race did have an older brother who got hit by a car when he was very young, after going out to get food for him. Race blames himself to this day.
Desperate for some kind of real family, besides the thief who trained him, Race meets an older foster brother who teaches him how to boost cars, along with “teaching him other things”. Though his is abused physically and sexually by this boy, Race doesn’t know any better and hangs on his every word, believing that the older boy wanted to help him.
Race is arrested when he’s fourteen, taking the fall for the boy who taught him how to boost cars
Race was a getaway driver at thirteen, and a good one at that.
He is constantly reminded of how he’s not normal, taking a toll on his mental stability as he’s often referred to as insane or inhuman
Race is fairly naive, but does live up to his title as the best thief in the world
Enjoys stealing diamonds more than anything else.
Quickly becomes best friends with Albert and is curious on how to get Spot to open up.
Never went to high school but is still amazingly smart as it takes a lot of math and science and so forth to be a thief.
Enjoys using tasers as a weapon of choice.
Has a bit of a sadistic mind as he enjoys watching Spot beat up on some of their enemies, especially the ones who’d tried to come at him, sometimes even visualizing that they’re the boy who left him behind after using him constantly all those years ago
Eventually does have to confront Drake again, but has his whole team to protect him.
Really loves cash
Is shocked the first time Spot kisses him because, he has been abused before, but kisses Spot again, telling him how different it feels
That’s the first time Race truly opens up about his past and Spot figures out that someone had used him
Has a fear of horses
Is not anywhere near afraid of heights
Has trust issues (obviously) despite the insistence that Albert and Spot (and of course Jack and Katherine but most Al and Spot) would never let anything happen to him
Actually trusts Jack the most as he came from the good side of the law
Does not like psychics
Katherine coaches Race in his social skills, helping him embrace his sexuality and slightly rely on those around him for connection and comfort
Race’s real name is Antonio Higgins, but he’s known across the world as only ‘Racer’
Albert DaSilva: The Hacker
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Much like Race, Albert grew up in foster care, though through most of his childhood, he lived with a woman he refers to as “Nana”. Not his actual grandmother, but a foster mother who he adored and actually took care of him.
Often refers to himself as a geek and prides himself in being one as it is the “age of the geek, baby”
Is relied on heavily by the team as he makes a lot of their equipment (eg: coms, modified cell phones, button cams)
Provides CIA level aliases for his team.
Owns the teams vehicle, “Lucille” and is pissed when they manage to destroy not one model, but two
Has an unhealthy obsession with orange soda
Is physically very fit, but is not good in combat situations
Being an introvert for most of his life, Albert took to technology and learned just about everything one can about them
Albert is straight in this one (sorry for my Ralbert fans) but, as Race’s best friend, is constantly trying to subtly get Race to admit he has feelings for Spot
Though he and Spot didn’t get along too well at first, they eventually see themselves as brothers and look out for each other
Claustrophobic
Gets buried alive during a job gone wrong and is showed just how much he’s loved when his team manages to rescue him, believing him to be dead at first
Manages to keep the team very well paid and secured so the government can’t find them
Hacked into the pentagon when he was only twelve
When he was younger, his nana forced him off the computer for one hour out of every day to “give his eyes a rest from the screen” and Albert learns how to play the violin
Mostly used his skills for fun when he was younger, just wanting to prove he could do something
Skipped his senior prom to hack into medical records and get his nana on a high priority list
Has always looked out for the people he cared about
The only one Albert didn’t trust was Spot, as Spot intimidates him until Spot started showing interest in what he did, never commenting on it, but always looking very impressed
Oversells himself while grifting and often relies on Katherine to help guide him
Cares about humanity and the big picture, much like Jack. This is where their bond comes from as Katherine, Race and Spot have spent most of their lives looking out for themselves
Has a soft spot for little kids
Enjoys messing with Spot and making bets with him, even sparking in them having their own handshake which consists of them subtly high diving twice at waist level and then fist bumping. It’s often how they seal a bet or agree on a plan
What do you guys think? Any scenes you wanna see? Any other characters you wanna hear about? Let me know!
For more Mood Boards and AUs, click here!
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thewincestgospel · 4 years
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do you have any wincest fic rec in which sam and dean are actual fbi agents or something similar? even just the two of them being partners at some normal job, police-y or not. thanks ♡
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Okay that gif is a little aggressive but you get what I mean.
FBI Agent Dean
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Alternate World by EimiWinchester (Siyah_Kedi)   Sam casts a spell to take him to where Dean is whole and alive, and ends up in another world.     
Counting Bodies Like Sheep by  abeautifullie3 Sam D'Eboli is a mobster.  Special Agent Dean Winchester is assigned to take him down.  Dean's okay with that double entendre...until he isn't. A connection that won't be denied, and secrets revealed, Dean's objective may no longer be the same as the FBI's.      
FBI Agent Sam
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Federal Temptations by Mrs_SimonTam_PHD  Dean Winchester is a career criminal who is caught by the FBI. The FBI calls in their best interrogator, Sam Wesson, to crack Dean, and Dean learns something about Sam.  
You Were Made For Me by blackrose_17 Sam Wesson has belonged to Dean Winchester since he first laid eyes on him and it doesn't matter that Sam is with the FBI sent to take him down, Sam is his. Sam just needs to remember that                
FBI Agent Jensen or Jared
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Broken Angel by  moviegeek03 Senator Fred Lehne has been brutally attacking, raping, and murdering young men for over a decade, but always evades arrest thanks to his money and power. He has everyone fooled, except one team of detectives headed by Captain Jeffrey Dean Morgan and his protege Jensen Ackles. When things become worse, Morgan goes to FBI agents Misha Collins and Jim Beaver for help. They offer it in the form of Jared Padalecki, hotshot profiler who also happens to be Jensen's boyfriend. But there is more Jared...he also happens to be the only surviving victim of Lehne's..
Coming Home by sasha_dragon F.B.I. agent Jared Padalecki works in the L.A. Under cover Unit as a handler.   He has fallen in love with the under cover agent he looks after but has never met. Now Jared is engaged in a race against time and across L.A. To get to him before it’s too late. Can Agent Jensen Ackles hang on long enough, to finally meet Jared.
Shape of My Heart  by ashtraythief There are two things that make Jensen feel: killing people and thinking of the boy with the sunshine smile.
Police Officer Dean
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Arachnophobia  by JuniperLemon   There's trouble going down in Sam's apartment. Unfortunately, this leads to a neighbor calling cops, Winchester and Novak.              
Impurity in the Night by CleverUsernameHere Officer Winchester is called to handle a noise disturbance. When he arrives he finds a high school party and gets more than he bargained for when he sees a familiar face  
Let's Get Frisky by ShadowBiscuit  What do you do when the city's hottest cop has his eyes on you and chases your fine ass down streets and alleys? When you can't help but want him to catch you and fulfill your dirtiest fantasies?Sam's solution to this problem is relatively easy: just be a flirtatious little brat and see where it gets you.      
Look the Other Way By: Candle Beck    Dean is a cop and Sam is his no-good brother.        
Mírë by  blackrose_17   Dean Winchester had an okay life as sheriff of Sioux Falls, sure his love life was a little slow but that was fine with him then everything changed the day Sam Wesson and his son Jack and friends moved into the empty Wesson Manor. Dean finds his world changed as he is drawn to the single father and his young son and his life is changed as his eyes opened to the fact magic is real and Sam is being hunted by someone who refuses to let him go. Dean will do whatever it takes to protect his new family.              
V I C E by awabubbles   Dean Winchester works in the human trafficking unit for the Vice Control Section of the Chicago PD. While undercover, Dean meets "Baby Boi" aka Sam, an underage prostitute with a strange fascination for the macabre. Sam has cast himself as Bonnie in a real life reenactment of the infamous outlaw duo, insisting that Dean is his Clyde. When Dean finally agrees, they run off to fulfill each other's deepest, darkest fantasies. For Sam, it's a dream come true; until Dean starts to spiral out of control.              
Police Officer Sam
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  Blue on Blue  by  bingsboba  Sam Wesson, a young narc with intelligent eyes and a naïve spirit, meets Dean Smith, a man with a charming facade and a dangerous interior, in a drug bust mission turned into a failure. With no evidence to pin Dean to a crime, Sam is unable to move forward with his first loss in his job. Determined to have the biggest drug bust tied to his name, Sam goes after the con artist, but Dean turns out to be more than Sam can handle.   
Deeply Dangerous Dean  by ScorchedAngel   Dean is a quiet blood spatter analyst who keeps himself to himself and Sam is a detective on the hunt for the man who murdered his girlfriend Ruby. They've both been keeping secrets from each other and everyone else that have the potential to turn their world upside down.              
The Orange Hour  by  Deeranger     The Winchesters have gone undercover in a prison while working on a case: Dean as an inmate, Sam as a correctional officer. This way they will be able to gather information from both sides of the bars. A smart move, right? Or so they think. Because on a seemingly peaceful evening a riot breaks out, and the brothers are suddenly forced to question themselves - but most of all each other. What is real and what is not? And just how far are they willing to go to keep each other alive?
Perfect, Twisted, Bloody Family  by orphan_account   Dean has a great life. He’s got amazing boyfriend and a successful business, lots of friends, and a smart detective for a brother. They have awesome dinners at each other’s houses, poker nights, and a relationship most siblings would envy. Dean also has a deep, secret lust he’s been harboring for said little brother. That, and the occasional murder of a pimp or drug dealer, just to keep things interesting. C’est la vie.
Stop and Search   by JuniperLemon   Dean is trying to get out of town after a hunt when he is pulled over by Officer Wesson. Things go slightly unexpected when his hunting equipment is discovered. Unrelated wincest.  
Two Sides Of The Same Coin  by ShadowBiscuit   Sam Winchester, police detective.He's trying to find the notorious serial killer who has been leaving mutilated bodies all around the city. The police hasn't been this baffled since the time of Jack the Ripper. This mystery killer is just simply impossible to catch...But Sam isn't one to back down from a challenge. So he hunts the monster that preys on the innocent, however this time, he's not sure if he wants to win.Not when the "Righteous Man" might be his own flesh and blood, his big brother.                                                            
Police Officer  Jensen or Jared  
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The Balance (Constantine Fic) by storyspinner70   Jensen Ackles spent his days coughing up his lungs and killing demons, hoping to earn his way into heaven. Jared knew his sister didn't kill herself, no matter what the Church had to say, and a hateful exorcist with a mission and a chip on his shoulder may not be his first choice for a guide, but Jensen was going to help him – if he didn't die first. Trips to hell, lung cancer, a conniving archangel, and even the devil himself weren't going to stop Jared from getting his sister back where she truly belonged.              
Creature Feature by Saone Something hungry is lurking in Lake Winchester.
Cuffs by TwoBoys2Love   Detective Ackles gets a new partner who may be a bit of a challenge. They have different views about everything. Ackles picks up some work on a new case that reveals his partner's secret and dredges up the past              
I'm A Broken Man With Addictive Tendencies  by robin_writes  In Jared’s mind they were a new brand of a tale as old as time; Romeo and Juliet. From two different worlds, destined to be kept apart, and both of them too fucked in the head to survive what they end up doing to each other.Jared is a cop who is a dom and Jensen is an underage prostitute. Jared tries to tuck away his 'dom personality' but you can't hide yourself from yourself.              
The Lion The Beast and The Beat by storyspinner70   It’s the typical story: boy goes through an ugly divorce, boy falls in love with the late night DJ that keeps him company on all his sleepless nights, boy saves DJ from his “number one fan”. The DJ is very grateful.
Mischief and Mayhem  by LoveThemWinchesters   Jared is a police officer.Jensen is his biker/bar owner husband of several years.Chaos ensues when something very important is lost.  
Out of Silence  by Annie46fic When hardened, but lonely cop, Jensen Ackles meets Jared Padalecki in his family’s diner, he doesn’t realize that his life is about to change drastically. Jared is a complete innocent, deaf, mute and unable to communicate, he needs a friend. Can Jensen be that man?
Pure like Blood by Ephermeralk   They have a deal. It’s two years (730 days, 17,520 hours) before Jared turns eighteen. And if, by some miracle, Jensen’s not in prison and Jared’s not another Joe Doe in the morgue, they’ll both leave Denver and start a new life. But, until then, Jared’s still got work and Jensen’s still a cop who’s hell bent on putting away the rest of Jared’s clients.          
Shades of Cool by tebtosca   Officer Ackles tries to keep the peace, but that Padalecki kid doesn't want to play nice.                            
Some Kind Of Hold On Me  by KatStark   Cop Jared comes home to his boyfriend, who has a special night in mind.      
Speaking Softly by femmefatales   Jared Padalecki, a 27-year-old police officer with a psychology degree gets assigned a special case. His job is to do one thing and one thing only-- Get Jensen Ackles, a seventeen year old boy who's been badly abused, to talk.                                
Stray by  storyspinner70   Officer Jared Padalecki is on his way home, but catches one last call that's near him. He has no idea exactly how eighteen year old werecat Jensen Ackles is going to change his life, but sometimes the best things in your life are things you never saw coming. 
Trust in me by Winmance It isn’t the innocence of the boy’s voice that was making such dirty sexual innuendos that made his blood run cold, it was the suggestive smirk he plastered onto his face while saying it. The way he leans too far forward on the chair, that it was impossible not to look obscene, and the large spread of his legs while he does so, almost inviting Jensen to look.When Jensen's best friend asks him to questionned the young prostitute he just came back with, Jensen has no idea that his life is about to change. Neither does Jared.                           
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allthebest20 · 3 years
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A Simple Favor (2018)
This movie was surprisingly good?  I’d give it a 6 or 7 out of 10.  To be honest, I already wrote a review for this that I liked, but it didn’t save, so I partly want to recreate those thoughts, and I partly want to give up.  I thought the plot was decently smart and interesting, the characters believable and funny, the dialogue natural enough, the ending satisfying.
It is a very trendy plot: encapsulating the hot-lady-murder-mystery trope, the single-white-female trope, and the hot-lady-narcissist-psychopath trope.  I mean, as a young white lady, I don’t dislike these tropes.  I love watching hot woman, like Blake Lively, just doing mundane stuff or, even better, being cunning and mean to people.  I mean, that’s why we watched Gossip Girl, right?  It’s definitely why I watched Pretty Little Liars.  More and more it feels like directors just pick hot people to do the job of actors, and that frustrates me.  However, here, Lively isn’t just hot, she actually does a pretty good job.  Herself a rich mother with a celebrity husband, I can see why she does so well playing the wealthy narcissist working mother with the troubled background.  It’s also easy to imagine that the narcissist-psychopath character is not a difficult character to create.  This is because 1. most actors (and most people) are a bit narcissistic and 2. writers rarely give these characters complex thought processes.  Sure, there’s usually trauma there, but that fades into being blindly motivated by self-interested and anger.  Unlike “regular people,” these characters do not often their options or consider factors outside themselves.  In that way, they are not very complicated.  I’ve never met anyone who truly follows this trope, but I’ve also never met a serial killer.  It’s almost like Hollywood’s current obsession with those two plot lines (serial killers and hot lady psychopaths) is a way to take about gendered evils.  Almost as if these psychopaths are the female equivalent of a serial killer, and, at least in this case, Lively’s character does have a body count.  However, the victims she leaves dead, her sister and her father, arguably deserved it.  Her lovers, who she uses, do not, but she does not kill either of the two featured.  Real life male serial killers are sometimes thought to kill family members, but mostly, they kill their intimate partners.  So, I would argue that there is no female equivalent of the serial killer phenomenon.  I also don’t mean to imply here that all narcissists are psychopaths, because there are a lot of people with NPD who are just trying to manage their systems, deal with their trauma, and live a healthy life in our fucked up society.  But hot women with compromised morality are a big threat to cishet white men, who don’t have to worry about serial killers, date rape, or hate crimes, so I”m sure that plays into the commonality of the trope and the demonizing of people with NPD.  It’s not to say that I have not heard about dangerous lady psychopaths, but they aren’t usually serial killers.  They are con-artists and domestic abusers.  Of course, Hollywood has no interest in showing what a real domestic abuse situation perpetrated by a women looks like.  No one wants to talk about people being hit and emotionally abused by their female partners.  Lively’s character is a domestic abuser who seems to manipulate and emotionally tear down her husband, played by cutie Henry Golding, but this is mostly alluded to, not displayed.  There is one scene where Lively pulls a gun on him in a restaurant and forces him to say bad things about Kendrick’s character, but that’s more fantasy than reality.
What separates this movie from others of lesser quality, besides the acting and the dialogue, is the way the plot unfolds and the character’s motivating forces.  If Lively had nothing on Kendrick or if Kendrick was really as goody-two-shoes as she makes herself out to be, then nothing would make sense.  Kendrick’s secret though is perfectly believable and well-aligned with her character: sleeping with her long lost half-brother after her beloved father’s funeral. I like how Kendrick tries to play it cool, tries to pretend like they only made out, her desire to finally share her darkest secret tied with her sensibility to keep it hidden from this mysterious stranger. I love the way their relationship and their backgrounds are slowly unfurled to the audience. The way the director splices together scenes of the two leading characters revealing their secrets and their flaws, is simply enthralling.  The woman are both very alike (haunted by personal past mistakes and dead/dying family members), but while Kendrick takes steps to make things better for the people around her, Lively does the opposite.  Kendricks biggest mistake was her first ones: sleeping with her half-brother (ew), carrying his baby to term (um?), and not telling her husband (sigh... understandable, but side note: were they married before she slept with her brother or did they get married quickly after because she got pregnant? why wasn’t he at her father’s funeral?This alludes to either her sleeping with him more than once OR the baby isn’t the brother’s but she still feels responsible for her husband thinking it could be).  However, it isn’t her fault that they both die, it’s her crazy husband who drove them off the road.  He seemed like not a nice guy, even though she said that he was great.  Finally, her last sin, of sleeping with Golding, who she thought was a widower, and moving into Lively’s life.  Not ideal, sure, but there was something between them, and they thought Lively (the bitch) was dead.  Everything else she does is to find out the truth. 
Lively, on the other hand, starts by helping her sister kill her abusive father (I can get behind tbh), then exploits a hard working artist (:/), lies and cons her husband (:( ), kills her addict sister (she is blackmailing her but... :( ), and finally tries to kill both Kendrick and Golding (:(( ).
The only other thing I have to comment on is the use of bisexuality.  It seems like a lot of narcissist/psychopaths/liars in Hollywood are bisexual, which is not great representation.  It’s supposed to show how the psychopath does not view sex and attraction as an intimidate thing, but a tool to get what they want from a person of any gender.  Did Lively secretly love Kendrick? Maybe a little bit in the beginning?  Besides that kiss, there’s little to no evidence of that.  The kiss is what makes it so single-white-female-y, shows how desperate Kendrick is to make a connection, to be known and loved.
Overall, I enjoyed it, and I would recommend it.
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Modern Art Satire
I was an art major before I became an English major. In one of my classes, I learned many sculptors come up with an idea and hire someone else to execute it. 
I told my professor, “coming up with an idea doesn't make you an artist. It's coming up with the idea and having the skill to carry out the idea to completion that makes you an artist.” 
I am not even going to start talking about the artist who take other people’s trash, put it in piles and call it art. I think several artists came up with a conspiracy. This is how I imagine it went down: 
Three modern artists were sitting in the living room of a large country manor in England. Marcel Duchamp was standing by the fireplace and he turned to Damien Hirst and said, “Being an artist doesn’t pay well. Can you think of any way we could make more money?” 
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Sue Webster jumped out of her chair. “I just had an amazing idea. Why don't you sign your name on the commode sitting in your field, call it art and see if you can get museums to pay you to display it.” 
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“Excuse me Sue,” Damien interjected, “Marcel was talking to me. Also, that’s a ridiculous idea. No museum will pay money for something like that.” 
Sue put her hands on her hips, “Fine. If you’re so smart what’s your idea?” 
Damien sat back in his plush leather armchair staring into the fire, “I wasn’t saying I had a better plan just that I didn’t think yours would work.” 
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“It would if you put the right spin on it.” Sue sat down on the sectional facing the window.“That commode is such an eyesore. You would be doing yourself a favor by following my advice.” 
“I don’t know,” Marcel replied. “I think Damien may be right about this. I don’t see how any Museum could be convinced a signed commode was art.” 
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Sue thought for a moment and then replied. “You could call it a response to the negative impact consumerism’s had on society.” 
Damien sat up abruptly, “I’ve got a brilliant idea. What if I paint dots and call that art?” 
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Sue retorted, “painters have been doing that for years. It’s called pointillism.”
 Damien rolled his eyes. “Obviously, that’s not what I meant. I was talking about painting individual circles on the canvas with no discernable picture being made.” 
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Sue let out a sarcastic half-laugh. “And you think that idea will have more success than my idea about the commode?” 
Damien stared back at her. “Of course. My idea’s better because I’ll actually be making something. Marcel wouldn’t be making a commode, just signing his name on one.” 
Marcel had wandered over to the window, looking out at the commode. He muttered to himself. “I wonder how it got there. Who leaves a commode in the middle of a field?” 
“Sorry Marcel,” Sue said looking up at him from her seat on the couch, “did you say something?” 
“You know Sue,” Marcel turned to face her, “now that I’ve thought about it for a while, I think your idea has some merit. I’m going to try it. What have I got to lose anyway? It’s not like I can get more broke than I already am. It’s a good thing my parents have money or I would be living on the streets.” 
Damien nodded. “It’s hard being an artist. It’s about time we got some recognition for our struggles. Wait a minute Marcel, we’ve forgotten about Sue. What are you going to do Sue?” 
Sue looked at the ceiling for a minute, thinking. “You know I think I am going to wait and see if my idea for Marcel works. If it does well for him I think I will pile trash on museum floors and call it art.”
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Marcel looked at her his eyes wide. “You really are brilliantly diabolical, Sue. It’s almost scary.” 
“What do you mean, I’m diabolical?” she asked, her eyes conveying hurt and confusion. 
“Well, if this works, we will con tons of people and museum curators, into spending money on junk.” Marcel moved to the armchair beside Damien’s.
 “Well don’t think of it as conning then. Think of it as a brilliant and strategic business move.” 
Damien had been deep in thought while the two spoke, working on his own diabolical plan. “You know guys, after thinking about it, I don’t think painting spots is enough. What if I took animal corpses cut them up and suspended them in formaldehyde?” 
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Sue pursed her lips, her forehead wrinkling. “Eww. What a gross idea. What led you to such a stunningly grotesque and morbid plan?” 
“Well, did you notice the dead crow in the field as we walked in? I was thinking about your statement that the commode was an eyesore. It made me remember the bird, which got me thinking about death and animals. Then I recalled the horror film I watched as a child where the serial killer kept cuttings from his victims in formaldehyde and that’s what gave me the idea.” 
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Marcel looked at him, his head cocked to one side. “If Sue’s idea works I think your plan has merit. But I wouldn’t mention that explanation again because it makes you sound like a nut job. In fact, let’s make a vow that we will never tell anyone this meeting happened. It’s better for all of us if no one knows how this con came about.” 
Marcel, Damien, and Sue each promised to never reveal the conversation to anyone and then they went their separate ways. 
None of them realized how successful their plan to bamboozle the public would be. Artists are still cashing in on the con these three brilliant minds thought up in an unassuming room in England. 
It would have been impossible for the con to succeed so well if millions of people hadn’t bought their lie and come to believe that junk really could be art. I often wonder how much longer their con will be perpetuated or if, even now, some other group of artists has come up with an even better con and is getting ready to put it in motion.      
 Author’s Note: I want to clarify a few things. The artists I mention in this blog are actual people. The works they plan to make in this post are real. However, this post is satire so it stretches and bends the truth.
To cover story issues, I am pretty sure Marcel didn’t find the commode he used in his yard. I also don’t know if he was broke or if his parents were wealthy (although I can’t think of any artists who have had monetary success for their entire career). I made those parts up. If you are looking for facts about these artists you should check out other websites.   
Finally, Sue Weber and Damien Hirst are still alive, but Marcel Duchamp died in 1968. His death occurred three years after Damien’s birth and one year before Sue’s. All three of them couldn’t have been in a room together unless time travel was involved (which is another story altogether). 
Although I do believe Modern art is a scam designed to con people out of their money. I don’t think these three artists are the ones who came up with it. The reason I chose them was because, out of all the modern artists I studied in my art class at Anderson University in South Carolina, I hated their art the most. 
In case my last sentence didn’t make this clear, allow me to clarify: I do not hate Damien, Sue or Marcel, I am sure all three are/were lovely individuals. I hate their art and believe it to be a trick designed to fool people into spending thousands of dollars on junk.
Postscript: While writing this blog I looked up images of each of their art and realized that Damien did create art that could be considered pointillism. I have decided I don’t hate his art, I am now only mildly disgusted by it.  
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What are some WIPs you’re all looking forward to updates for?
In addition to the in-progress ones from this list we did previously (some are completed now, but still good!), here’s some new ones we look forward to:
Alex:
A Friend Indeed - CGotAnAccount @illunelurks
ongoing, 4/? chapters, 9k. (Explicit) Contains: nsfw content. Background ships: friends with benefits Matt/Keith
There are a few things Matthew Holt has learned over the past few years of being launched into space, kidnapped, thrust into an intergalactic war, and hailed as a hero of the universe.
Firstly, space is as huge and beautiful as he always knew it was – just twice as terrifying as he could ever have imagined.
Second, his little sister is in fact the smartest human that will ever exist and nothing will ever convince him otherwise.
And lastly, Shiro and Keith will never, ever get their shit together.
Beam me up, Hottie - lasersheith @lasersheith​
ongoing, 7/? chapters, 34k. (Teen)
Shiro’s life is kind of a mess. His job sucks and his best friends are moving across the country back to their hometown. All he really has is Star Trek until the Big Bang pairs him with an artist that just might change everything.
“Do you remember that event I told you about?” His voice came out barely above a whisper.
Laughing again, Matt sat his sandwich down. “You mean your totally-not-porn writing competition?”
Shiro groaned. “It’s not porn,” he hissed out quietly, “and it’s not a competition, it’s just an event.” He said, looking up into Matt’s judgmental eyes. “Look, you own 6 replica anime swords. It’s literally illegal for you to judge me for anything, ” he pointed an accusing finger at Matt’s chest.
Matt held up his hands in mock surrender. “Ok, ok. So what about your event thing?”
Shiro looked back down at his phone with an awed smile. “I got paired with my favorite artist…” He answered wistfully.
don’t call me baby (unless you mean it) - akaiiko @akaiikowrites​
ongoing, 3/? chapters, 36k. (Explicit) Contains: PTSD
Getting with Shiro is worth anything. Anything. So Keith is going to fake being the cliche with daddy issues - complete with stuffed animals, booty shorts, and an utter loss of dignity - until he makes it. Hopefully along the way he’ll figure out why it feels like being Shiro’s baby boy might just be the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
Keith has a moment where he wonders, somewhat blankly, how he bought this perfectly serviceable shirt and then promptly forgot its existence. Then he looks down. And remembers in a series of post traumatic flashbacks exactly why he’d blocked the shirt from his consciousness.
Namely, three words, in a font that isn’t comic sans but comes insultingly close to it, garnished with red glitter: Daddy’s Little Boy.
“Keith?” Very slowly, he turns to look at the closed door to his bedroom. “Keith, are you okay? I heard…” Probably some kind of vaguely strangled noise. But Shiro’s too nice to articulate that kind of thing. “Keith? If you don’t answer, I’m coming in.”
For All the Stars in the Sky - allyoop_1 @isabelladeltigre​, Wolfy_P_Smith
ongoing, 4/? chapters, 34k. (Mature)
“They’re good kids.”
They both take a moment to look over at said kids. Pidge has her elbows on the table, butt in the air as she finger smashes on her DS and Matt is picking at a tear in the booth and eating what comes out.
“Well,” Keith says, turning back to Lance. “They’re…kids. Probably human.”
Matt licks at the tear in the seam and Lance grins. “Debatable.”
Or: Keith has two jobs, two kids, and a million problems. Shiro’s not the solution to all of them, but he sure does help.
Make Believe - LittleWhiteTie @littlewhitetie​
ongoing, 5/7 chapters, 18k. (Teen) Contains: PTSD
In which, in order to form an alliance, Keith and Shiro need to fake a relationship and endure a series of related trials.
This was a terrible idea. An excruciating, tantalizing car crash of an idea. Keith should never have agreed to this. It was everything he’d ever wanted and more. He was never going to be able to come back from this.
Careful metal fingertips traced his jaw, tipping his face up to meet gentle, storm grey eyes. He was close, so close. “Everything okay?” Shiro asked, quietly.
“Of course,” Keith said. “Everything is fine.”
It was a bald-faced lie; everything was not fine. It was wonderful and devastating and nowhere in between.
my doorbell, when you gonna ring it? - spectrespecs @exitlude​
ongoing, 2/3 chapters, 35k. (Explicit) Contains: nsfw content
Shiro, a chronic apartment renter, feels like it’s time for him to settle down and buy a house. He thinks so, at least. Keith, one of the finest real estate agents in the city, is the one tasked with finding Shiro a home. They both find a little more than intended.
a slow, dumb show - redluxite (wordstruck)
ongoing, 6/8 chapters, 19k. (Teen)
Shiro shrugs. “No.” His lips quirk in a little half-smile. “Are you going to ask me?”
Keith’s mouth curls, just a little. His eyes flick over to Shiro again.
“Why not?”
Shiro comically stumbles to a halt. “Sorry?”
There’s that amusement tucked in the corner of Keith’s mouth again, as he reaches out a hand to steady the pizzas in Shiro’s arms. They’re quite close together now.
“Do you want to go out with me?”
All Eyes On Us - Green_Destiny @green-destiny
ongoing, 4/? chapters, 32k. (Explicit) Contains: nsfw content
K_Red and BlackLion are camboys for the same website. Unrivaled in their power but rivals to each other, a chance meeting at an official event pulls them inevitably towards each other, as much as Keith would like to resist, gravity is always, always stronger.
the peace-weaver - magisterpavus
ongoing, 18/20 chapters, 203k. (Explicit) Contains: nsfw content, trans Keith, sexual violence
You will be the peace-weaver, his mother told him, smiling though her dark eyes welled with unshed grief. The one who brings two bitter enemies together and ends the bloodshed and death between us, once and for all.
But men will always crave war. The Galra, most of all.
Akira:
every breath you take - arahir @arahir​
ongoing, 5/7 chapters, 32k. (Explicit) Contains: nsfw content
Keith takes a swim, gains a secret admirer, and finds something to live for.
There’s a cut on his bottom lip, a row of tiny lacerations that smart when he pulls at them to get a better look.
He doesn’t notice the bruise on his upper arm until the next day. He catches the edge of it at the corner of his eye when he’s pulling on a fresh shirt: blue lines, like stripes, but when he turns and twists to see how they ring his arm, he realizes what they look like.
The lines are like fingers. It’s a handprint.
sweet sun, send me the moon - arahir @arahir​
ongoing, 2/? chapters, 8k. (General) Contains: graphic depictions of violence, temporary amnesia
Shiro still has one battle left to fight.
Keith’s body in his arms doesn’t twitch and his eyes don’t flicker. They’re open a little, Shiro realizes; dull, sightless slits of white. Not dead, though. He’s not dead. Damaged, yes, but they can fix this.
Kel:
The Alien at Camp Marmora - flukeloops
ongoing, 6/10 chapters, 19k. (Mature)
Shiro and Keith are back at Camp Arus and madly in love. Alfor has to take a week off to tend to personal matters and has left his friend Kolivan in charge. Kolivan presents the staff and campers with Camp Marmora: a grueling 5-day challenge that tests their bodies and maybe even their minds. Will Shiro and Keith’s fairy tale romance stand through it all? What will the challenge reveal about both of them?On top of it all, the longer Shiro stays in human form, the worse his legs hurt. He’s afraid that he and Keith’s worlds will drift too far apart if he has to live in the water.[SEQUEL to The Mermaid of Lake Altea]
Sweet Cherry Pie - keiti221 @starlightshirogane
ongoing, 8/? chapters, 18k. (Mature) Contains: nsfw content, abuse, stalking, implied/referenced rape/non-con, kidnapping, murder, threats of violence, threats of rape/non-con, death threats
After Keith shows up to perform at an event that didn’t actually want a male stripper, he spends the evening sipping wine coolers with the hottest detective he’s ever gotten his hands on. Unfortunately, neither of them have been particularly good at relationships - Shiro is always busy with work and Keith keeps attracting weirdos - but both want to make this one work. So what could possibly go wrong?
Shiro the Hero and the Happily Ever - Saasan @decidedlysarah
ongoing, 2/11 chapters, 8k. (Mature) Contains: nsfw content, a/b/o dynamics, mpreg
Shiro never thought he’d be able to find a mate, let alone have a family. As blessings keep piling up in his life, he thinks back on the road it took to get there. Keith had always feared mating, but being with Shiro is bliss–if only he’d be just a *little* less weepy-with-joy. Meanwhile, Lance and Pidge discover they will be having a family much sooner than expected. This story will follow the four of them on their path to parenthood and, because the author isn’t a dick (unlike DreamWorks), everyone gets a happily ever after.
See You In Court - arcadenemesis
ongoing, 2/5 chapters, 15k. (Mature)
If Shiro’s life were a movie, this would be the part where the music would swell and everything would slow down.
He’s not sure how long he stands there, just watching, but it’s not until another hotel patron brushes past him that Shiro comes back down to Earth. Thank God Keith hasn’t seen him yet. Meeting eyes from across the room seems romantic in theory, but Shiro’s pretty sure his open staring would be anything but in reality. Better going for a smooth introduction, he decides, steeling himself and walking over with confidence he doesn’t feel.
"Hey there, Wild Card.”
Takashi Shirogane is the best in the world at tennis, and the absolute worst at love.
(Or, Wild Card through Shiro’s eyes.)
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alittlextrathatway · 4 years
Note
Hi! I know you have closed the prompt game, but I just saw the prompt list and I am kind of obsessed with dialogue #50, very curious with what you could come up with. So, I really hope you would take this one too! Thank you either way! 
A/N: Technically yes the prompts were closed, but you are totally right to be obsessed with this prompt. When I saw which one you requested, I was too intrigued to say no. ;) Once again, we’re taking a trip to Established Brettsey land. Hope you like this last prompt! I put in a cut so make sure you follow it!
50. “People are staring.”
————————————-
Since the end of their shift Casey has been acting odd. It’s not bad or good. Just…odd.
She didn’t notice anything at first. They left the firehouse and headed home. It was a rough shift with very little sleep so Casey moved his appointments and any other work to the next day, and then they went to bed. She’d barely gotten under the covers and curled into Matt before she passed out completely.
She wakes up seven hours later, well rested but starving, to find Matt staring at her. Granted, it’s an adoring stare, but not exactly a normal occurrence. The intensity of it upon just waking up may have made her jump. (Not far, but enough that he noticed.)
Casey chuckles, presses a kiss to her forehead, and mumbles an apology.
“How’d you sleep?” She asks, blinking bleary eyes at him.
“Like the dead,” he answers. “You?”
“Blissfully. Man, we were wiped.”
“We didn’t even stop to eat before we crashed,” Matt points out. “It’s after two in the afternoon. No wonder I’m famished.”
Sylvie groans, nods, kisses his jaw quickly, and then grudgingly sits up in bed. “Do you want to cook or order in?”
Casey sits up after her and rests his chin on her shoulder as he tries to decide. “I know we slept through it, but I think I still want breakfast.”
She hums in approval. “A really delicious homemade egg, bacon, and cheese sandwich sounds amazing right now.” She pairs a pointed glance at Casey with a pleading smile. He usually only makes them when one of them is hungover, which doesn’t happen often, but they are always delicious.
He shakes his head while laughing softly at her. “Subtle,” he teases. “But you’re right. That would hit the spot.”
“Yes!” She exclaims triumphantly as she wraps her arms around his neck. “You know I love you, right?”
“At the very least I know you love my egg sandwiches,” he quips dryly.
Her reply is sugary sweet. “I have enough room in my heart for both you and your egg sandwiches.”
He snorts. “Mhm. Love you, too. You hop in the shower. I’ll make breakfast.”
“You’re entirely too good to me,” she says.
He responds, “I know.”  Which pulls a playful shocked gasp from her throat as Casey gets out of bed.
“Rude!” She shouts through a loud guffaw.
She does as Matt requested and takes a shower. She dresses in her softest sweater and most broken-in pair of jeans. Immediately, she feels more human than she did this morning. When she enters the kitchen, Casey has two sandwiches ready and waiting.
His phone pings as she approaches. He checks it and then swiftly turns it face down. “Change of plans,” he announces. He looks anxious and awkwardly avoids looking down at his phone. “I need to get dressed and go check on a job. Just got a text about a leak.”
She knows it’s a lie. What she doesn’t know is why. “Okay. Do you have time to eat first? I feel bad I conned you into making these sandwiches and now you have to go.”
He quirks a brow at her with a mirthful stare. “Conned?”
“Conned, persuaded – what’s the difference?”
He laughs and comes around the counter, placing his hands on her hips. The space between them narrows quickly and, before she knows it, she’s swept away by wandering hands and an intrusive kiss. He presses his forehead to hers as he pulls away.
“Yeah, I have time to eat,” he tells her. “Not gonna pass up a meal with a con artist. Especially not one who looks like you.”
“Flatterer,” she accuses.
They eat side by side at their tiny kitchen table with her legs across Matt’s lap and one of his arms slung across the back of her chair. He looks as easy and relaxed as ever. Whatever it is he’s lying about, he doesn’t feel guilty about it. She trusts him with her entire being, that includes her life and her heart. If he doesn’t feel guilty, then it’s nothing for her to worry about. He gets dressed and then hurries out the door – promising to be back in time for dinner as the door closes behind him.
Sylvie distracts herself with housework. She’s put off laundry for long enough and the kitchen could use a good deep clean. There’s definitely something going on with Matt. The way she woke up to him staring at her and his cagey lie about whatever text he received. They’re small things but they’re not normal.
On the flip side, the affection and love between them hasn’t changed or faded. She has no doubts about how he feels about her. Whatever he’s into, it won’t end in a break up. Not that she ever truly thought it would. Any worries either of them had have been talked to death. She’s past that stage of ever shifting insecurities when it comes to Matt Casey.
So, the mystery of his behavior continues on.
He shows back up around five o’clock with take out and asks if she’d still like to go to Molly’s later. She tells him that of course she’d like to go to Molly’s later.
“How is that even a question?” She asks him teasingly.
He grins at her with amusement and holds his hands up in a placating gesture. “Just checking. Every now and then you prefer to go somewhere else. I’ve learned better than to assume.”
“You’re a very smart man, Matt Casey. I’ve always liked that about you.”
He laughs and pulls her chair closer to his. “I don’t have any other choice if I plan to keep up with you.”
After dinner, they head to Molly’s. Matt keeps her hand tight in his, fingers laced together, and leads her to a table in the back corner. Her brow furrows. This is not their usual table. She looks behind them to make sure no one’s taken it and, sure enough, it’s empty and waiting for them. It’s on the tip of her tongue to ask about the change but she bites it back.
She takes off her coat and drapes her purse over the back of her chair while Matt goes to get their drinks. Foster and Kidd wave at her from the bar, but they don’t come over. Which is just as odd as Matt’s shifty behavior. She’s had just about enough of being left in the dark.
When Matt comes back, he places the beers on the table and sits down next to her. It may not be their usual table but she has to admit the corner is pretty damn cozy. The lighting is dimmer, accentuating the glow of the twinkle lights, and it’s a four chair table so she and Matt have taken up one whole side. His chair is angled toward hers so that his body walls her off from the rest of the patrons. It feels intimate even if they’re in plain site of the general public.
“Okay,” she says with a suspicious narrowed gaze. “What is going on here, Matt? You disappeared for a few hours and don’t think for a second that I thought it was for a job. We’re sitting at a different table. Emily and Stella won’t come near me–What exactly am I missing?”
He sighs but keeps a soft smile on his face. His expression is nothing short of bemused. “You couldn’t have given me just a few more minutes?” He asks. “Because I had a plan and speech but in neither of those did you get impatient and call me out.”
She blinks at him in confusion. What is he talking about? “A plan and a speech for…?”
His hand reaches in his pocket and when it appears again he sets a small velvet black box on the table.
She sucks in a startled breath and feels an excited flush in her cheeks. “Matt.”
He swallows thickly and fumbles to open the box. She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip to keep from chuckling at him. He’s adorable, especially when he’s nervous. The last time he was this nervous, he asked her if she wanted to move in together. She thought he was adorable then too. When the springs on the box finally give, an exquisitely modest diamond ring with a platinum band is revealed.
She loves it almost as much as she loves him.
“We’ve talked about it before in hypotheticals,” he begins. He pauses to clear his throat. “I know you don’t want a whole big production so I thought what better place to do this than…our favorite place. A quiet table, surrounded by our friends without involving our friends. I don’t know, it felt…like us.”
It is them. It really is. Her eyes start to water and she knows her smile reflects her joyful tears.
“We were friends before we were anything else,” Casey tells her. He points between them with a fond smile. “This, us. It happened slowly. I was in love with you a long time before I realized what it was. Until then, I don’t know, I’d kind of given up. I thought the job was all I was ever going to have. What do they say? Stop looking and it’ll find you? Well, no one tells you what to do when the person who finds you has actually been there all along.”
They look they share is nostalgic as they both remember all the awkwardness and tension that led them to that first move and first date. The stops and starts, the arguments and half broken hearts. It’s like she admitted to herself earlier, their issues have been talked over and talked over until they know each other’s fears inside and out.
“We managed,” Sylvie assures him as she places her hands over his. “Really well, I think. Considering I thought this was all impossible once upon a time.”
He raises the back of her fingers to his lips and nods. “You’re not the only one who thought this might be impossible. I’m glad we both ended up being wrong.” His chest rises and falls with a deep calming breath. “I love you. I’m always going to love you. Sylvie Brett, will you marry me?”
Her vision clouds over and her throat clogs with overwhelming elation. A few happy tears that were gathered in her lashes finally fall. For lack of words, she nods repetitively and places her hands on either side of his face to pull him in for a kiss. She kisses him once. Twice. And then a third time with an open mouth a slip of tongue. Just appropriate enough for public consumption.
“I love you too,” she rasps. “And yes, Matt Casey, I will absolutely marry you.”
“That’s what I was hoping you’d say,” he tells her while he slips the ring on her finger.
Her laughter is tearful as she takes a moment to admire the way his ring looks on her hand. “You did such a good job. This ring is perfect.”
She closes a fist around the collar of his sweater and uses it to bring his lips crashing down on hers again. Just like in their apartment that afternoon, he sweeps her away with deep kisses and even deeper emotions. She’s caught up in him and only him until the prickle of prying eyes raises the hairs on the back of her neck. She pulls away from the kiss, taking one last nibble at his bottom lip. Casey grunts in protest and Sylvie lets out a rare giddy giggle.
“People are staring,” she whispers when he opens his eyes again.
“Let ‘em,” he replies with a wicked smirk. “I don’t care.”
“We could do that, but consider this…we could leave and celebrate in private. Preferably naked. Or we could make out in the back of a bar like a couple of college kids on spring break. That’s good too,” she says with a coy smile. “I’ve already made one big decision tonight. This one’s all you.”
“Make out in a bar while our friends stare at us or have you all to myself and naked? That’s not even a choice. I vote naked, obviously.”
Sylvie stands with a wink and puts on her coat. “Like I said, you’re a very smart man, Matt Casey.”
The ring glimmers in the light and catches her eye as she moves. What a beautiful extraordinary unbelievable day, and, thank her lucky stars, it’s the first of many.
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Text
TGF Thoughts: 3x09-- The One Where The Sun Comes Out
This episode was way more engaging than the last. I talk a lot about Maia in this one; the writers finally figured out how to use her!
Reasons I shouldn’t write recaps after a year without seeing an episode: I forget basic stuff, like that it rained for all of season 3. You know, because ATMOSPHERE and WEIRDNESS and QUIRK. And SYMBOLISM. Can’t forget symbolism. 
To be fair to the writers, it did rain a lot last year. All I remember about the month of June is rain. They predict everything. 
Maia’s new job at a call center (I can’t recall if we’d seen her at the call center before this episode) is something she takes very seriously. Just kidding. She acts disdainful towards anyone who dares ask for her help and then hangs up on them. On one hand, this seems like a terrible job so I get her “fuck it all” attitude. On the other, she’s being suuuuuper bratty.
Right. I refreshed my memory. We did see Maia at this job in an earlier episode. 
Consult-a-Lawyer is where all the LGwhatever rejects go. Sounds miserable. 
Blum walks in, and Maia makes a, “Oh God, THIS asshole” face. Coincidentally, this is also the face I’m making as I realize I’m going to have to listen to this loud man I had blocked from my mind yell obscene things for two more episodes. 
Blum wants to hire Maia. She agrees, as does her friend Lili. I believe Maia has other choices (remember how she turned down Diane’s offers to help when they weren’t exactly what she wanted?) but also, yeah, I’d want to get the hell out of Consult-a-Lawyer too. 
Now it is hailing. Everyone from RBL is in blue. Remember those picspams we all used to make where we’d oversaturate the background to make everything blue? I wouldn’t need to oversaturate this image to make the blue pop. 
I truly don’t understand why the main page of All Access thinks I am in the middle of some random season 2 episode when I am clearly in the middle of 3x09. When I click on the show, it understands that I’m in the middle of 3x09 and allows me to resume watching. Why wouldn’t you optimize your homepage to encourage people to keep watching!? (All Access isn’t alone in this: HBO Go also makes it very hard to figure out where I left off when watching a series.) 
So, because Carl Reddick was a sexual harasser and RBL covered it up, ChumHum is insisting on an internal investigation, led by a woman who is-- you guessed it-- quirky. And even worse, it’s one of the quirks that’s actually not funny because it’s a real condition people live with?? How are we still doing this, show?
This is RBL’s best year ever. Yay! I forget if that tracks with anything we’ve seen. I guess the existence of ChumHum alone is enough to make that true.
Oh NO, Book Club is in this one too!? Liz, wisely, says she’s done and refuses to go with Diane. 
Maia tells Blum no, she won’t work with him. She thought he was rescuing her from hell, but he’s really “dragging her down deeper.” This is accurate. Maia may not be the smartest character on this show, but she’s got her eyes wide open when she works with Blum. 
Blum wants to work with Maia (duh) because her father is a piece of shit respected by other pieces of shit. This checks out. This is quite logical, tbh. 
Maia requires very little convincing. This is not because she is in such a hard spot she has no other options. This is because she is bored and hates the world because she didn’t get her way and had to deal with consequences. It took very little to turn Maia from an innocent to a villain. Perhaps that’s because she was always complicit. (If you’re 26 and went to law school and you can’t understand privilege even on the most basic level, it’s because you’ve been tuning out everything that challenges you.)
Maia seems way more confident now. She’s SO much more fascinating as a villain than as a protagonist, likely because even when she was the protagonist everything she did was so selfish it was hard not to see her as a villain. Props to the writers for recognizing that and leaning into it. They don’t explicitly tie her actions here to her actions at the start of the series, but this only works because Maia’s always been one slight away from going bad. 
And yes, I think villain is the appropriate word for someone money hungry and willing to work, no questions asked, with someone as slimy as Blum. 
Maia hires her friend Lili to help out, which, admittedly, is a nice thing for someone I just called a villain to do. 
After further “messages” from the con artist who started Book Club, the Book Clubbers want to SWAT someone. This sounds fucking terrifying. Diane pushes back and the rest of Book Club is totally ok with this strategy.
So Diane reveals that Valerie’s a con artist and it causes squabbling. It somehow backfires because people believe the woman claiming to have a message from Valerie. Even the one who can do all the IT things--the one who could very easily (by show logic at least) just simply look up the records and phone numbers herself-- believes her. 
Is a big group setting really the way internal investigations are done? I’m no expert, but this feels like a bad approach!!
Marissa doesn’t think the firm has racial issues! Ha ha. She thinks the racial pay gap issues are totally resolved because the associates got raises. As much as I want to believe someone as savvy as Marissa wouldn’t think like this… I kinda believe it. 
Lili also seems kind of terrible, like someone who can’t wait to go on a power trip and fuck over every person who has ever said anything mean to her. 
Oh goodie, we’re talking about sexism now. I appreciate that they’ve featured a few associates over the course of season three. I don’t remember their names since I last watched these episodes a year ago, but I remember that they’ve been in several episodes. I hope to see them in season four, and to learn their names. 
Someone says men weren’t considered to head up Lucca’s department. This is blatantly false. Also, idk what these other associates can do, but Lucca’s proven herself to be adaptable, smart, and someone who can go above and beyond. Plus, she is someone who is out for herself, with tons of career options. She’s someone you want at your firm. 
The female named partners are biased against men, says a (you guessed it!) male associate. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahaha no. 
Marissa calls the associate out on this, and another (female) associate steps in to say she’s in no place to talk since she’s stealing Jay’s job. If it didn’t seem like there was room for both of them, this would be true. 
In a move I appreciate, the mailroom employees are also in this scene, talking about how they didn’t receive any bonuses to correct for the pay gap because of their class. When one of the associates says they didn’t receive a bonus because of race, a mailroom guy calls her out for not knowing his name. 
And then it devolves, as so many of these scenes do, into people talking over each other.
While I like that they address these issues so often on this show, I don’t think “inequalities are controversial and there’s no solution so here are people talking over each other” is the best approach. Sure, I can appreciate different points, and I don’t need the show to tell me how to think, but at this point I think the show needs more of a POV on this. It feels, too often, like they’re saying “Controversy! Huh!” 
Marissa goes to Liz and mentions the other women Carl Reddick assaulted. Liz, understandably, hasn’t looked at the files Marissa gave her. She says she will but asks Marissa to keep quiet around the investigator. So sounds like she doesn’t intend to do anything. 
Oh no. Is this the ep with the retcon where Liz and Adrian actually did hook up!? And put it in work emails!? All I have to say about this is that it’s a bad decision. Sometimes the writers get so close to making a bad decision and then walk it back enough so that I can relax, and then bring it back later, for no reason. It’s even worse that way, because by that point I’ve already formed a strong opinion about it happening. The moment that set me off the most in TGW was when Alicia and Peter agreed to renew their vows at the end of 421, followed by a commercial break, followed by a promo with Alicia kissing Will. I HATED the love triangle at that time. I mean HATED. That commercial break allowed me to relax into the idea that the writers had ended the love triangle. The promo shattered that idea, and, in turn, I slammed my computer shut so hard it nearly broke. That is not a feeling I like. That is the feeling that learning Liz and Adrian fucked gives me. 
NOT EVERYONE HAS TO SLEEP WITH EVERYONE. IT IS SOMETIMES MORE INTERESTING WITHOUT THE ILLICIT AFFAIRS. THERE ARE MORE INTERESTING WAYS THAN HOOKUPS TO ADDRESS THAT THEY USED TO BE MARRIED. For starters, can we get an episode where Liz calls Adrian out on the condescending voice he’s always using when he talks to her?
Oh yes, this is also perjury. Why. Why is this happening? Why would Liz and Adrian admit this to an investigator knowing damn well they lied under oath, and also, why would they lie under oath? I know we saw it happen but was it really worth two partners perjuring themselves bc they fucked their ex??? 
When the stakes are high for no reason (or for a stupid reason) it doesn’t maximize drama. It just makes me tune out the drama. If I believed Liz and Adrian had a good reason to perjure themselves, maybe I’d care about this. Maybe they did. But the fact I don’t remember it-- and I’m someone who can name every single episode title of TGW in order-- suggests to me it wasn’t a good enough reason. 
Liz goes to shred the file with the rest of the info on her father’s victims. See, this is a bad choice that I understand. It’s her father’s legacy and her firm’s future, and she has all the power right now. It could come back to bite her, but I get why she takes this risk. I get why this situation is fraught. 
Credits time!!! 
Maia’s also decided to dress like a Bad Girl. She is trying VERY hard. But she’s pulling it off. She’s speaking without hesitation and actually taking an active role in getting things done. It speaks volumes about her character that the first time she’s been motivated about anything work related, it’s something morally bankrupt. 
Apparently the black and white associates are sitting apart from each other. Julius says it’s not intentional; there’s a hot desk system. That held up well.
LMAO people think Julius and Marissa are sleeping together. Julius does a spit take-- the appropriate reaction.
“You’re really a Rindell?” a potential client asks Maia. “Raised at his knee. Taught me everything he knows,” Maia says proudly, displaying a framed picture of her and her father. I’ve said it like five times already but it’s SO dark that Maia would use this to her advantage. We’ve seen some opportunistic shit on TGW/TGF but Maia gets so shameless, so fast, with no remorse. Damn. 
RBL is trying to disbar Blum. He doesn’t care. He tells Maia to take care of it and to use the allegations (which she doesn’t realize are real) against Carl to make it go away.
Diane is talking to a computer. I’m over all the Diane plots.
Liz is glad the Book Club is still fighting even if she’s not involved, which is the stance it always made the most sense for Liz to have. 
Diane allows Book Club to proceed with their latest scheme because she finds the dude they’re targeting deplorable. If this plot didn’t involve Book Club I’d find it to be an interesting moral dilemma. 
An actually interesting dilemma: Liz informs Marissa she will not be disclosing the names of any additional victims. Marissa clearly thinks this is the wrong call but keeps her mouth shut. An unusual amount of restraint for her. 
Maia and Marissa are still friends! Is this the episode with the bizarre Maia/Marissa kiss that I still don’t understand the point of? 
Marissa divulges info about the firm’s Reddick drama to Maia, which is uncharacteristically stupid of Marissa. But there’s no bridge Maia isn’t willing to blow up to help Blum. She’s prying and manipulating a friend who faked a drug test for her and got her through the worst time in her life so she can prop up a mean, cruel man. There are other paths for Maia. I want to be absolutely clear that I think she is choosing this one because things got the slightest bit challenging for her. 
Maia realizes what she’s doing and stops herself saying she has to go because “everything we talk about from now on, you’re gonna blame me for.” And rightfully so! 
OH, the kiss is because Maia is acknowledging she’s fucking over their frendship, isn’t it? Earlier they’re about to drunkenly kiss and one of them talks about not fucking friends they don’t want to fuck up the friendship. So the kiss is fucking over the friendship. Or maybe it’s just a kiss. 
“You’re gonna hate me. Just remember, this has nothing to do with us,” Maia says. Ha, I believe this less than I believe Alicia’s “this was never meant personally” in 5x05. (Hitting the Fan isn’t a bad comparison here, since Alicia does make a choice to fuck over friends when she has the choice to not fuck over friends. I think what makes that “gray” for me while this is villain territory for Maia is how fast this happens. Alicia’s taking the clients whose accounts SHE has sustained, and starting a firm she truly believes will be better (for herself, as a company, for her family). It’s a selfish decision. Her options aren’t reduced all that much either (she’s the governor’s wife, if she wants to leave her firm she could go anywhere). But I can see her side, I can see how fraught the choice was for her, I can see how the way things played out made the tensions worse. Maia burns her friendships to the ground so she can work with a loathsome man because the opportunity fell into her lap while she was hating the world too much to do anything productive with her life. 
Maia’s crying in the office when Blum finds her. She knows what she’s about to do. She’s sad she’s going to do it, but she knows she’s going to do it. I don’t think she considers, for a moment, not fucking over Marissa. As soon as Marissa gives her the intel (which, no matter what Maia says, she was totally fishing for), Maia’s mind is made up. Does it make it better if she cries about it? 
And Maia KNOWS it is a betrayal. She says she knows “a friend will interpret it as a betrayal” because she knows it is one. She tells Blum she doesn’t know if it’s a betrayal because “I’ve lost track these days” (that line sounds surprisingly Alicia-esque) and tells him what she knows. That’s one of those questions that if you have to ask, you know the answer. 
Thought experiment: Would it be a betrayal if Maia were an activist who wanted to get the word out about an abuser? I think a lot of why I react so harshly towards Maia’s choice here is that (1) she sees it as a foregone conclusion that she’ll use the info and (2) she is using it to help Blum. Blum isn’t shades of gray (50 shades of gray joke here). He is despicable. He isn’t morally ambiguous and you can’t even say his ends justify his means because his ends are despicable too! 
Ah, a scene I won’t have much to say about. It’s going to be Blum on his bullshit.
Oh, I do have something to say, but it’s a sad thing. Mark Blum, the actor playing ACDB lawyer Julius Kreutzer in this scene, sadly passed away from COVID-19 last week. 
Roland Blum representing sexual assault survivors to fuck over a rival law firm makes me sad.
Marissa does, in fact, interpret Maia’s actions as a betrayal. She calls her immediately and asks, “you fucked me over?” “Not intentionally,” Maia says. Oh, own it. You knew the moment she said it what you were going to do; this was an intentional action with an inconvenient consequence. 
The partners find out, thanks to Blum, that Julius is going to be a federal judge. And they are not happy.
More talking over each other! Cultural appropriation has entered the mix of complaints. Lucca decides to intervene by going to the partners about the new seating plan. And this is why Lucca, and not that associate, is heading up a department. She knows when to go to management and isn’t wasting her own time in these squabbles. (Tbh, Lucca recognizing that bickering with no resolution in sight isn’t productive makes me wonder if the writers have more of a POV than I’m giving them credit for. Maybe they’re trying to say that talking over each other is futile and aggravating.)
Why the hell does this investigator want to integrate the mailroom by firing black people so they can hire more white people?! Setting aside for a minute that that is a profoundly stupid idea, that can’t possibly be legal, can it??? 
RBL decides that, backed into a corner, it’s time to just own up to their wrongdoings. It works with the ACDB, at least until Blum brings Maia into things.
Book Club kills someone. I truly don’t know how to feel about Diane having literal blood on her hands. This scene should be way more dramatic than it feels. This is the problem with having stakes too big for the show. Instead of getting invested, I write off the far-fetched plots, and I can’t really care about character drama that stems from something so over the top I don’t believe it. 
Diane thinks Book Club didn’t want the guy dead. What about this group that was working to hack voting machines suggested that they wanted him to live???? 
Liz says Diane has to report them, but Diane worries she’s implicated. Who could have imagined that working with crime-loving resistance group would have legal ramifications?! It’s not like Diane and Liz are lawyers or anything.
Liz thinks Diane needs to convince Book Club that everything they’re doing is because of a con artist, but that’s a solution to a different problem. Diane knew Valerie was a con artist and still pushed forward with Book Club because she was committed to the cause. Why would any of these other women abandon the group at this point? What difference does it make if Valerie is a liar.
Shock of all shocks, Book Club is planning their next attack. It’s almost like they are a group of criminals who meet in shady spaces at odd hours. The time to be noble about this shit was weeks ago, Diane and Liz. You’re complicit. What did you think you were getting into? 
Book Club does not like that Kurt is conservative. Diane gets mad and basically threatens them.
“You two are just as culpable,” one of the Book Clubbers says. She’s not wrong. Maybe not JUST as culpable, but culpable for sure. It’s possible that I just don’t want to see Diane and Liz be culpable for things this atrocious and stupid so I resent this plotline. (That said, to go back to Hitting the Fan as an example of a character I love doing a thing that is morally questionable at best, I can accept my faves doing things I don’t like. There’s something about the scale of Book Club’s actions vs the scale of the show that feels off.)
“The truth is what you make it,” Blum tells Maia. A familiar lesson for this show.
!!!!!!!! Is CBS reading my unpublished word doc?! Because today All Access understands that I am watching 3x09.
It’s also updated the key art for TGF to the season 4 image, which says “What is memo 618” in larger font than the show’s title. I am sure I will come to care about memo 618; however, it doesn’t make me want to watch the show or tell me anything about the show, so I don’t get why it’s on the poster. 
ALSO there is no question mark on the image so that’s gonna drive me just a little crazy.
Blum manipulates Maia by telling her she shouldn’t let anyone control her. Maia doesn’t agree to help him; she heads home instead.
Liz and Adrian talk about sleeping together. They had previously said it was a mistake, but Adrian wants to reopen the discussion. All Liz wants is privacy. 
Adrian then asks her if she regrets “fucking”. Yes, he says fucking. Those are his words. Liz is like, what do you want to hear? And it breaks up the tension of the moment. THAT is more compelling to me than all the perjury stuff. (Also, neither of them regret it.)
I don’t think I have a problem with them sleeping together… just a problem with it happening off-screen (I don’t need a sex scene-- just want to know how they got there!), being retconned, and then being used to create drama. If they want to hook up, go for it. 
Oh, look, it’s a stock footage shot of the outdoors. Busy streets? People walking around? Seems fake.
The stock footage is to show that the rain has stopped, btw. It just feels like it’s designed to taunt me with the idea of public parks and bustling streets. 
The ChumHum report is out and the partners look very! Serious! But Liz and Adrian are in the clear. 
The investigator basically just finds the firm grew too fast and that’s their only real issue. The Carl Reddick issue will hurt, but it’s survivable.
But they’re still losing ChumHum. They were always going to lose ChumHum. Diane goes outside to enjoy the good weather while she can.
Maia doesn’t show and Blum gets disbarred. It’s fun to watch him squirm, having just lost his power. He rambles nonsensically. 
Maybe Maia isn’t a villain. I truly don’t remember this scene happening; I thought I remembered her showing up to defend him! Score one, Maia. This episode is the most interesting Maia’s ever been. 
I also don’t remember Diane singing on a park bench. But I like it!
Book Club is threatening Diane now. They’ll destroy her (or kill her?) if she tells on them. Dramatic!!!
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mini-kkukkungie · 5 years
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This is probably not so very important? But I just finished a game and it was a very great game but, when I looked up if anyone has made fan content for the game, nobody had? Which made me a little sad. So, I wanted to give a review for the game to see if it can spread more awareness to how wonderful the game is! Or, perhaps, how wonderful the creators are because they're releasing another game! The game I played is called
            The Monster Brothel
It's a text-based R18 Choose Your Own Adventure game where you can make choices that eventually lead to your ending. The background story is that there's this house in your town called Madame Marigold's House of Respite and it's a house shrouded in mystery. Except, I think, it also has a reputation of being a brothel. However, every so often (I'm thinking once a year), the house holds a sort of party and welcomes people in (though apparently others are welcome in any time). The playable character is invited after years of longing to be invited (because they're curious and for no other reason).
Below the cut are some pros and cons to the game as well as my overall final opinion.
So, it's a game you do pay for which isn't always fun but, if you think about it, you're supporting the creators which makes me feel just a little bit better about it. Plus, it isn't that expensive, just $5.00. The only complaint I have about that is that it's a pay per month thing? My suggestion is to pay for the one month first and then pay more if it takes you longer to complete the game. I say that because I paid for the three-month subscription (thinking that it was a huge monolith of a game) but, because of my habit of hyper fixating on things, I knocked it out in like two to three days. You could also just support the creator on Patreon which is really cool! You get extra content for the money you're giving AND you get to play this wonderful game. Not only that but you can also see content for their new upcoming game.
The price aside, I think it's worth it if you put the time into it. The story is really gripping and I was very entranced by it.
The characters are all very lovable and very seductive. I found myself completely falling in love with them. There's a part of the website where you can see drawings of them and all of them are wonderful and amazing. They're all drawn by the lovely @doe-eyed-monster-draws whose art is just so well drawn and detailed. The drawings are accompanied by lore about that specific monster or about that specific person. It’s all very facinating. The characters also have kinks in the profiles so that you know exactly what you're dealing with when you pursue the character's story. It's a good idea. If you have a specific kink you want to see, you can browse through the characters to see where you can find that kink. If there's a character you want to pursue, you can check if their story includes a kink you're very much not enthusiastic about.
And, man, after playing this game pretty thoroughly, I'm sure there's not a single kink they've missed. There's something in this game for all the monster fuckers out there.
My all-time favorite character is Puck (which wouldn't be a surprise since I'm pretty sure he's been dubbed the main character seeing as his face is the first one you see on the mobile site). I'm always a sucker for charming bastards like him. Like a lot of popular male characters, he has a sad backstory and you're exactly the playable character that helps him.
Not to say that the playable character is the usual useless one either. In fact, I was surprised by how sassy and strong-willed the playable character is (since I'm so used to playing games with weak-willed damsels in distress). The playable character does meet some distress here and there (they have a penchant for getting into sticky situations, literally and metaphorically) but they're rarely saved by other people. The playable character is clever and smart and doesn't let anyone stomp over them unless they want to be stomped over.
This is, however, where I have to address one of the unfortunate (or maybe fortunate?) features of the game. One of the things the writer has done is change the gender of the playable character often throughout the game. One wonderful encounter with Puck makes the playable character a trans man that uses a packer but the epilogue of the game (which features another encounter with Puck) features a playable character who is a packless woman without any dysphoria about her private parts. This is very confusing and can prevent the player/reader from really connecting with the main character. I, myself, as a person who doesn't favor being either a Male or a Female, didn't mind the gender changes at all. I ended up enjoying all of the scenes, whether the playable character was a woman or a man. This might not be the same as everyone else.
Another complaint I had was that the game wasn't very... fluid? I don't exactly know how to word this but, maybe, it would be easier to give specific examples. Giving exact examples is going to reveal certain events in the game, though, so I give fair warning. There's going to be spoilers if you keep reading. They’re minor though and the spoilers don’t spoil any endings.
Basically, when you're finally invited into the house and you receive your welcome, you're given a lovely silver pin and then you can make a choice as to where you want to go in the house. You can choose to curiously gaze at a willow tree nearby which prompts Puck to invite you to the party near the willow tree. If you pick certain choices, you will eventually leave the party at the willow tree. When you find yourself coming back to the willow tree, however, it will prompt the same event all over again. Puck will act as if he hadn't met you before and everyone will act as if they had never even seen you.
This discontinuity can be irritating, especially when you get confused by the plot because of it. 
There's a mushroom that the playable character can have a fun time with (for those who favor tentacles over limbs) and, afterwards, they're found by one of the employees of the house (who is oddly not listed in the character page or so I think?). The employee of the house then leads the character to Marigold who gives them a task. If the playable character follows the task, it leads them to a wonderful mothboy (mothman???). Except, you end up not talking to him about the task at all. Instead, he talks to the character about how they're turning invisible like a ghost? It's very confusing to say the least.
Also, if the playable character goes exploring into the woods, the event will state that they've run away from the willow tree party? Except, sometimes, that's not the case at all. I had come across the woods once while exploring the mansion grounds and had been confused at the mention of the willow tree party since I hadn’t even checked that out yet.
The most annoying one is a part where they require an item. The playable character either has to have the fairy boon or the curse. I thought that having one would result in one thing and then having the other would result in a different outcome. I was mistaken. Instead, having the curse only lead to the exact same thing as having the fairy boon. It was annoying because 1.) I had to do a lot to get the curse and 2.) the result still described the scene as if you had the fairy boon.
I managed to sleuth out the true storylines after playing so thoroughly, of course, but it does take away from being able to really immerse yourself into what you're playing. It can also make you have to repeat events more than once if you don't have an item you need or if you want to read every single scene in the game.
I don't think this discontinuity is the fault of the creators, though. As someone familiar with creating CYOA games, it's hard to make a scene for literally everything in the game. If you make too many paths, the storylines can get tangled up or get so big that it'd be hard to keep track of. A good shortcut to prevent this is to reuse certain scenes. Knowing that makes the repetitions much more tolerable in a sense. It’s also hard to really double and triple check pathways since there might be so many of them so it’s easy to imagine why these mistakes happened.
There’s also another thing about the game. Specifically, the writing. I enjoyed the writing thoroughly and I thought that it was really great. All of the sex scenes were absolutely enjoyable and I loved the plot and how the story unfolded. However, the game does rely heavily on the pictures of the characters in the Characters page of the website. 
One of the stories that I loved the most involved the werewolf pack. There were descriptors for them but, when it came to Julio, the leader of the pack, and his human form, it was a bit lacking. I get that since the game probably wants to focus on the monster aspects so it isn’t really a big complaint. It’s just that the game has this habit of being extremely descriptive in some places and then not that descriptive in others. 
Maybe that’s just me, though, since I am much more used to big long CYOA games that take forever to describe even the smallest things. I’m not saying that the writing is bad. I really did enjoy the writing. However, I know some people who enjoy those really long CYOA kind of games and so, if that’s you, I just wanted to give a warning.
I do think, however, that, despite these cons, the story itself is wonderful and certainly worth the $5.00 you'd spend (and perhaps the $13.00 I had spent). It really is an enjoyable and arousing game with a complex and interesting storyline that you can't help but want to follow. The music is immersive and the writing is good (though there are one or two grammar mistakes) For monster fuckers and for people who love stories about faeries, its certainly a delight. The writer is good, the artist is great. Why not support and get to read an intriguing and enchanting story too?
the game's tumblr: @geekinglikeaboss
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dalekofchaos · 6 years
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Why I ship Joker x Harley/Jarley and why I love Joker and Harley as characters
I like their relationship because I see them as this twisted clownish super villain version of Bonnie And Clyde. Their dynamic, their chemistry and their story is compelling and I just love them together. While the abuse does make me uncomfortable. It’s more than one sided abuse as so many people diminish it as.
A lot of people like to diminish the relationship as one sided abuse and take Harley’s agency and autonomy away by treating her like a defenseless child and a “cinnamon roll that must be protected at all costs” and dismiss Joker as nothing but a fuckboy. Their relationship is more complex than that. Harley became a villain of her own free will and The Joker is one of the greatest villains of all time. They are much more than tumblr dismisses them as.
Harleen Quinzel chose to become Harley Quinn.  Harleen Quinzel was not tortured or thrown in chemicals to become Harley Quinn. Harleen Quinzel fell in love with The Joker in therapy. There is a large portion of manipulation on The Joker’s part, but it was Harleen’s choice to become Harley Quinn. She’s not a victim of The Joker’s madness, she chose to become who she is.
Their relationship isn’t one sided abuse it’s an on and off again relationship. The Joker and Harley are both insane and dysfunctional, there is no way this can be a normal and healthy relationship because that is the complete opposite of these two characters. No one is saying the relationship is healthy nor do I suggest it to be healthy or a relationship to strive towards. It’s meant to be a violent, unstable relationship. It’s also fictional. It’s a fictional relationship between two horrible, demented murdering clowns. To pretend the relationship is a run of the mill one that’s portrayed as healthy is just preposterous. Same with pretending the relationship isn’t also filled with a sick, twisted romance. Romanticizing Joker/Harley isn’t the problem. The problem is encouraging the behaviors, which no one is. And I love them together, they are like the psychotic clownish super villain Bonnie And Clyde. The Joker DOES love Harley, he is incapable of showing it normally because he has never felt love for anyone and because he’s trash. If he didn’t love Harley he would have killed her ages ago, if all he needed was a way out of Arkham, Harley would have been killed.  He tries to kill her to push her away because he thinks that romance is a distraction and alien. Really, Joker sees Harley as the perfect partner. and this is according to Harley’s creator Paul Dini, The Joker himself Mark Hamil and Harley herself Arleen Sorkin “He loves her as much as he can. He loves her in his way.” -Paul Dini “…That, to me, is kinda their private life. Joker opens up and in those moments he is whatever he is at his core and all his demons come in. And the only one he trusts with that is Harley, or Harley’s the only one who knows how to deal with him in those moments.” -Paul Dini “Expressing emotion in any way that’s real and meaningful is alien to The Joker, but he’s learning those parts of himself, however unconsciously, through Harley.” -Mark Hamil “Everyone else sees The Joker laugh; only Harley has ever seen him cry.” -Arleen Sorkin She’s completely and utterly obsessed and in love with The Joker. She loves Ivy too, but her heart is primarily with Joker. Hell there was a comic where Joker was all nice and sweet to Harley and eventually Harley became bored and tried to get the old Joker back. Harley is in love with the mad clown, Harley wouldn’t have it any other way.
The Joker is one of the great villains of all time. He is the complete opposite of Batman. He is unpredictable and there is no method to why he does what he does. He is a force of nature, while Batman is the unmovable object. He views life as a joke and death as the punchline. He is the only one who can truly push Batman and Gotham to it’s limits. His goal isn’t money, revenge or even world domination. The Joker simply wants to watch the world burn and prove that all it takes is one bad day to turn insane just like him. Batman's primary weapon in his war against crime is intimidation. This is useless to The Joker. The Joker can use Batman’s code of not killing against him. The Joker also forces Batman to make choices to reveal his true character but also outsmarts him. Joker is not out to kill Batman, if he kills him, the fun is over. This is more of a game to Joker. “You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to to this forever.” that is what makes their dynamic so good. The Joker knows where to hurt Batman and Batman won’t kill him. Speaking of. I often hear tumblr go off about “Batman should just fucking kill Batman and get it over with” no...no you moron! The reason why is this. The Joker and Batman are each trying to prove a point to society - and really to us, the readers. The Joker wants Batman to kill him because he perfectly embodies chaos and anarchy and wants to prove a point to everyone that people are basically more chaotic than orderly. This is why he is so scary: we are worried he may be right. If the Joker is right, then civilization is a ruse and we are all truly monsters inside. If the Joker can prove that Batman - the most orderly and logical and self-controlled of all of us - is a monster inside, then we are all monsters inside, and that is terrifying. The Joker is terrifying because we fear that we are like him deep down - that he is us. Batman is what we (any average person) could be at our absolute best, and the Joker is what we could be at our absolute worst. The Joker’s claim is that we are all terrible deep down, and it is only the law and our misplaced sense of justice that keeps us in line. Since Batman isn’t confined by the law, he is a perfect test case to try to get him to "break.” The Joker wants Batman to kill a person, any person, but knows that the only person Batman might ever even remotely consider killing would have to be a terrible monster, so is willing to do this himself and sacrifice himself to prove this macabre point. Batman needs to prove that it is not just laws that keep us in line, but basic human decency and our natural instinct NOT to kill. If Batman can prove this, then others will be inspired by his example (the citizens of Gotham, but again, also the readers), just as we are all inspired every day to keep civilization running smoothly and not descend into violence, anarchy, and chaos. This ability to be decent in the face of the horrors and temptations present all around us is humanity’s superpower, the superpower of each of us. The struggle of Batman and the Joker is the internal struggle of each of us. But we are inspired by Batman’s example, not the Joker’s, because Batman always wins the argument, because he has not killed the Joker. and that is why their dynamic works and why not killing The Joker is important. And that is simply why I love The Joker and why I cannot stand it when tumblr dismisses him as a abusive fuckboy or whines about him doing villainous acts and not understanding why Batman won’t kill him.
Harley Quinn isn’t a pushover or defenseless cinnamon roll “that must be protected at all costs”. Harley can defend herself and kick Joker’s ass, she can hold her own against Batman(Harley came the closest to killing Batman) or any of the rouge’s gallery and she can fought Mercy Graves and she won that fight!
Harleen Quinzel is not super smart as the New 52/Assault On Arkham/Injustice likes to say, but Harley is clever in her own way.  Harley’s father was a con artist and abusive. Harley became a psychiatrist to understand her father and to make a book on the rouges of Arkham Asylum, yes she slept her way to get a PHD. But that in away was smart. Harley is smart, but she likes partying more than studying, and gymnastics more than flipping through boring text books. She got into the university on a gymnastics scholarship, after all. So naturally, her grades were lackluster, meaning Ds and Fs. So she decided to boost the grades the old fashioned way, through sex with professors. She still gets to party and train, but she also gets top marks that would get her into Arkham Asylum, where she could train at becoming a pop psychologist. In a way, it was strategic thinking on Harley’s part. Harley is smart, but she isn’t super smart.
Harley works best as a second in command/follower. Why?  Because she became a villain in the first place to follow someone. And she as a villain only follows two people, Joker and Ivy. She has no motivation if she’s not following someone else, and her character is not meant to be heroic or quirky. She’s obsessive, lovesick and is solely devoted to her two loves. She kills for Joker and Ivy, she steals for them, she collaborated with them. If she’s not with one of them, her heart isn’t in it. And having her own solo series had rendered her into just another generic female anti hero. And since she was created to be a sidekick, she really works best in small doses. Trying to overwrite her character weakens the complexities of her.
Harley’s dad was and is a con artist. He’s been in and out of jail, constantly cheating on Harley’s mom, duping rich women for everything they have. Growing up in Bensonhurst around her constantly cheating and lying father, being left in squalor with her bitter mom and slacker brother, Harley vowed she’d be different, make a difference and actually be somebody. But it’s the classic tale of growing up to be what you hate. Harley loved cutting corners like her dad, though I imagine she always justified that to herself by saying she was actually going to make a difference, unlike her con artist father. And then she also became her mother, by falling in with The Joker, who is scarily a lot like her father.
Harleen Quinzel  was already traumatized and unstable from her fiance committing suicide right front of her but went into Arkham right after that anyways because she wanted to study the inmates from Arkham Asylum and wanted to study The Joker so she could be famous for  learning his secrets, which we all know what happened. I would say the madness was already in Harley just buried underneath, The Joker just helped it surface.
Harleen Quinzel did not come to Arkham Asylum to help people. Harleen was power hungry and saw the inmates as a get rich quick scheme for a book and wanted to be the one to understand The Joker’s secrets and what made him what he is. In her own words. “I’ve always had an attraction for extreme personalities, they’re more exciting more challenging. You can’t deny there’s an element of glamour to these super criminals.”
Harley Quinn is not a hero nor is she a anti-hero as DC has been trying to reshape her as. Harley Quinn IS A VILLAIN! Harley is not this role-model, she is a psychopath and a villain. Harley is not as psychotic as The Joker, Harley Quinn can be just as dangerous. Harley isn’t this precious baby, she isn’t a precious teddy bear and she isn’t someone to coddle regardless of how much you love her.  She doesn’t need to be protected from The Joker when she’s a super villain who has murdered her fair share of people and can hold her own against The Joker. She’s also crazy exuberant and peppy. She’s lighthearted evil.
Harley Quinn does not have Stockholm Syndrome. She is a willing accomplice to the Joker and knows exactly what she’s doing. She was never taken hostage or held against her will. She chose this lifestyle from the beginning. She as the Joker’s doctor crossed the line when getting getting romantically involved with him. You may not like the Joker or how he can treat her at times, but the truth is Harley Quinn took advantage of her mentally ill patient who was already declared legally insane before she ever met him. She has always been in the wrong. She begged and pleaded with the Arkham staff just to get to treat him so she could write a tell all book about the Joker. She’s not innocent. She’s a villain, not a victim.
Like it or not The Joker and Harley are made for each other. Harley’s entire character is built around The Joker. The only way Harley would ever be free from Joker’s influence is if she stripped away the clown aesthetic, stopped calling herself Harley Quinn and became Harleen Quinzel again. Harley is supposed to be obsessed with the Joker and no one else, she was created for The Joker.  In my opinion, taking away the obsession a character is literally built around will not improve it.  Everything would have been different if Harley hadn’t been built around the Joker, but she was created for him, therefore taking her away from him not only is out of character, but is also bad for the character itself. Joker, like it or not, was and still is what made Harley a special, complex character. Harley Quinn does not work without The Joker and does not work by trying to make her a hero or an anti-hero. She was created to be a villain and taking that away does not work at all
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namixart · 5 years
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To start off 2019 with some positivity, I'm going to make a list of things that I absolutely love and make me happy in my favourite shows, movies, books, games etc. Small things, big things, no particular rhyme or reason. It was surprisingly therapeutic. Feel free to reblog and add your own!
Link being left-handed now let him use sign language Nintendo please
The entire Sector 6 Market section in Final Fantasy VII and the Honeybee Inn in particular
Zuko's character arc
The Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack
Final Fantasy X's worldbuilding
Everything about Disney's Mary Poppins it put me in a good mood for three days straight
How Percy absolutely adores his mum and is supportive of her relationship with Paul (after a while)
Edward Elric
(Yes. Just Edward Elric as a character, person, concept, actions...)
Major character design kink: boys with long (ish) blonde hair (see Edward, Link, Zidane, Howl)
Final Fantasy IX's soundtrack
Aerith and Tifa being close friends despite both being in love with Cloud
The Gentleman Bastard Sequence's worldbuilding
The fact that one of the characters in Zootopia speaks with my city's accent in the Italian dub (you never see it in any movie)
Final Fantasy IV's world being just vague enough that it tickles my creative bone to expand on it
Kingdom Hearts I using original storylines for the Disney Worlds
How Yato's eyes are very a very clear indication that he's a supernatural being in Noragami, being unnaturally light and bright
That one panel in the Kingdom Hearts II manga where an almost-naked Pete carries Maleficent bridal style out of the collapsing tower
Sleeping Beauty's art style and instrumental soundtrack
The fact that two super popular shonen manga/anime have leads who are super smart instead of being dumb muscle or the stock happy-go-lucky-not-very-bright protagonist (Fullmetal Alchemist and My Hero Academia)
How some of the Olympians like Hermes and Poseidon are so casual when interacting with mortals
The scene where the Spaceport is revealed in Treasure Planet and the look of the film in general
The first few chapters of the Yu-Gi-Oh! manga before card games took over the plot
People in the Gentleman Bastard Sequence being emotionally honest despite being literal con artists
The theatre motif in The Republic of Thieves
Cloud, Aerith and Tifa threatening Don Corneo, but especially Aerith saying that "she'll rip it off" if he doesn't cooperate
Locke and Jean becoming pirates in Red Seas Under Red Skies
The Hunger Games movies being the most accurate film adaptations I have seen in my life
The Kingdom Hearts soundtrack, especially the vocal tracks, Dearly Beloved and The Other Promise
Final Fantasy VI shoving you in what usually is the backstory of a videogame and literally destroying the world
Edward defending Mustang when he had his sight taken from him despite them having spent 90% of their screentime together bickering
Tony Stark and Peter Parker's relationship in the MCU
Sophie throwing a tantrum after she realises she's in love with Howl and creating deadly weedkiller to express those feelings
Darcy being a goddamn social Disaster in every incarnation of Pride and Prejudice
The relationship between Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye
The Once Upon a December sequence from Anastasia
The mere existence of Zamira Drakasha and Ezri Delmastro and everything they represent
Sokka's role as both the strategist and the goofball in the Gaang
Peter Parker sharing a hot dog with Loki when he could have asked for anything because Loki owed him a favour
How the plot of Kingdom Hearts is so ridiculous we don't even question it anymore
Enormous muscly men I can still categorise as "super adorable and sweet" (Major Armstrong, All Might)
Howl being the biggest drama queen in the book
My Hero Academia's fantasy AU ending
Spider-Man (PS4) nailing the Friendly Neighbourhood Spidey aspect of the character and letting him interact with civilians
That moment when I was sure Bakugou was going to join the League of Villains but then he didn't and I've never been happier about being wrong my entire life
Zuko practising before asking the Gaang to join them
SNAP SNAP SPARK SPARK
Harry's wonder at every new thing in the Wizarding World
The fact that Spider-Man's backstory could just as easily be that of a villain but instead he's a hero and he has the biggest heart
Jake and Amy being in an Adult and Communicative relationship while still being themselves and each other's best friend
Winry being just as much of a prodigy as Ed and Al and building Ed's automail at 11 years old
Percy Jackson starting out as a standard straight white kids' series and Riordan adding ALL THE DIVERSITY as soon as it got popular enough that Disney couldn't say no
Charlie Weasley just outright trespassing into Hogwarts to smuggle an illegal dragon out
The soul and essence of Pride and Prejudice being passive-aggressiveness and sarcasm
Apollo's haikus in Trials of Apollo
Every scene using Deep Canvas in Tarzan
Winry and Edward's diametrically opposed reactions to the realisation they're in love ("Oh I guess I've fallen for him alright moving on" vs "Fuckfuckfuckfuck oh shit no why oh god aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh")
Lilo & Stitch's watercolour backgrounds
The fact that Roy Mustang's womanising persona is a facade to hide the fact that he's a) a huge nerd, b) going to overthrow the government and c) in love with his lieutenant
The "makings of greatness" speech in Treasure Planet
Spider-Man (PS4)'s swelling score as you start web swinging
The Battle of 1000 Heartless in Kingdom Hearts II
Sophie proudly describing Howl to Abdullah, him assuming she was listing flaws and her getting angry about it
Edward and Alphonse being atheists despite having literally met their version of God
The fact that Amajiki is one of the top three hero students despite his crippling anxiety
Rubicante recognising Edge as a warrior and apologising for Lugae's horribleness
Edge unlocking new powers out of sheer rage
Sora throwing a tea party at the end of Dream Drop Distance while his best friend was still asleep
The backstory in Skyward Sword about Hylia and the first Link
The "immoral manga" omake in Fullmetal Alchemist
The School Festival arc in My Hero Academia, Eri finally smiling and Deku and Mirio being the best big brothers I've ever seen
Kingdom Hearts III finally coming out this month
McGonagall's cat form resembling her human form
Edward finally breaking down at the end of Fullmetal Alchemist god I love this boy so much he has such a big heart
The Enlarged Suit Scene from Howl's Moving Castle
Most of Howl’s Moving Castle is a delight to be honest
Kairi's reaction at the news that she would be training with Axel in A Fragmentary Passage
The bonfire scene in Cosmo Canyon from Final Fantasy VII
Uraraka deciding not to focus on her crush on Deku in order to grow as a hero
Rydia summoning Titan and raising a mountain at the ripe age of seven in Final Fantasy IV
The friendship between Percy, Annabeth and Grover
Kairi and Lea looking like they're going to be a team in Kingdom Hearts III
Greed (at least the second one) claiming that his goal in life is to have everything when in fact he only ever really wanted friends
The Main Theme of Final Fantasy playing during the scene where the characters not in the final battle pray for the party in Final Fantasy IV
The Overture from Phantom of the Opera
Locke Lamora from the Gentleman Bastard Sequence being named after Locke Cole from Final Fantasy VI
Luna Lovegood never having to change who she is and remaining weird and happy
Terra Branford becoming more human by feeling not romantic love but maternal love for a bunch of orphaned children
The "You're not alone" scene from Final Fantasy IX
Darcy respecting Elizabeth's refusal of his first proposal and working to become a better person after she points out his many flaws
Neku learning to open up to people in The World Ends With You and literally saving Shibuya through character development
Bakugou's slow development into a better person
The sketchy animation during Disney's Dark Age
The official character artwork for Skyward Sword
Harry and Sirius's relationship
Spider-Man being a street-level hero and being super humble even though he can literally lift Thor's hammer
That little high-five between Sora and Remy in the 30 seconds trailer for Kingdom Hearts III
Rosa and Rydia immediately ignoring the boys' order to not come to the Moon and stowing away on the Lunar Whale
Plus Edge's adorable "Y-you're here too!?" in the DS remake
Cloud not being allergic to smiling and joking around in the original Final Fantasy VII ("Let's mosey!")
Thor and Loki starting to mend their relationship in Ragnarok
Into The Spider Verse has a scene where Miles uses Spider-Man comic books to figure out how to use his powers and it's the best and I love it
You know what, Into The Spider Verse as a whole because I saw it a while back and I'm still gushing
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