#I love lesbians I love this movie I think I could watch this movie everyday until I die
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i’m gonna make you some tea
#desert hearts#my art#I love lesbians I love this movie I think I could watch this movie everyday until I die#im such a sucker for gay little cowboys#I haven't painted in so long and I never really do movie studies this was so fun
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just found this song a week or so ago, and i can’t help but think of ellie every time i listen to it.. it’s called ‘she calls me daddy’ by king mala… if you could write a fic based on it i would fxcking love it♡
She calls me daddy - (ellie williams x reader)
Hi anon! Firstly this song fucking slaps??? It low-key reminds me of moth to a flame by the weeknd just lesbian edition. Anyway I hope you enjoy <3333
This story is based off the song She calls me daddy by King Mala! If you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)
Pairing: ellie x fem!reader
requests are always open, feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there:)
Warnings: cheating, men, homophobic parents
Summary: You might be engaged but you still always go back to Ellie
wc: ????
She's a little bit psycho
But she follows
When I call in the middle of the night
It might be a little superficial
She plays with the boys
But she comes home to me
Little fucked up but I think it's official
'Cause she might be your girl
But she's calling me daddy
"Hi Els" she heard you talk with a hushed voice. A smile spread onto Ellies face at the sound of your voice.
"Can you come over? I miss you" Ellie admitted.
"I miss you too" she could hear the smile in your voice.
God why did you have to be so fucking cute?
Ellie couldn't even see your face, but she can imagine the blush that spreads across your cheeks. The way your eyes crinkle anytime she says anything to you.
She knew the affect she had on you, but if only you knew what you were doing to her. It's embarrassing to even think about it.
"I'll try to come..." you started.
Excitement filled Ellie, as she thought of everything the two of you could do. You could watch a movie, or she could do your hair.
Oh! Maybe you can paint her nails-
"but Josh is here so I'm not sure" you finished your sentence.
The joy Ellie felt moments ago fell flat at the mention of your fiancè's name. She wanted to groan whenever you mentioned him in any conversation.
Why do you care so much? You don't even love him.
You quickly said goodbye when Josh called you to join him and all Ellie could do was wish she was him.
He gets to spend time with you. He gets to see you everyday, he gets to spend the rest of his life with you.
What does Ellie get? A few hours with you before you are called by your dear future husband. Hushed calls and quick texts.
No, Ellie didn't deserve this at all, but yet she stayed because she couldn't get enough of you.
As much as Ellie pretends to be in control of your relationship, you were the one that had the final say. Whatever you wanted, she would do.
It's kind of fucked up if you think about it.
The way you're playing the perfect daughter and the perfect wife while you would always come back to Ellie that same night. How you would take pictures with your fiancé, and soon after send Ellie pictures no one but your so called spouse should see.
It never bothered Ellie. Because she always knew that you belonged to her, and even if you were getting married nothing would change that.
She's mine
She wears a collar with my name
Secretive but not ashamed
She's mine
But I never tie her down
They always come around
Mine
Does he know that you call Ellie when he falls asleep? Does he know the type of pictures you send her? Does he fucking know how bad he is in bed?
Ellie wonders if Josh suspects anything. Hee probably wouldn't. He's so fucking stupid anyway.
He doesn't even know what your favorite color is. But Ellie does. Ellie knows everything about you.
The amount of times you've cried over your math homework. The amount of stuffed animals you had in your room.
Did Josh even know how much you loved Barbie when you were younger? Of course he doesn't.
Ellie let out a sigh when she saw your phone light up.
She gently reached over your sleeping figure, to grab your phone, trying not to wake you up.
When she turned the phone on, a picture of you kissing Josh appeared as your lockscreen. Ellie gagged at the photo, before she checked who sent you a message.
It was from the "love of your life", the message read 5 simple words: "when are you coming home?".
Ellie scoffed when she saw the text.
Is he really this fucking clingy?
Ellie replied "no! Sorry baby, I'm staying over at a friends house!"
Josh didn't even ask who. All he did was left you on seen.
Wow.
'Fucking nonchalant bitch' Ellie thought to herself.
She put your back onto the side of your bed as she lay down to face you. Ellie gently brought her hand up to remove the hair from your face.
Was this going to be it? Were you going to lie to your family your whole life?
Ellie didn't know the answers to these questions. And she knew even if she asked you, you would always reply with "I don't know Ellie" or "I don't want to think about it".
What happens if your affair gets exposed? Do you guys get to live a happily ever after?
In the past, before Josh was even in the picture, you and Ellie faced this same issue.
The two of you were madly in love but you could never be together. Everything you did was in secret.
Ellie liked to imagine that the reason why she never asked you out was because she could never stay committed to one person.
Back in college, Ellie remembered how'd she'd bring a different girl back to her dorm almost every night. But as soon as the sun rises she'd chase the girl out and she'd end up going to your dorm to cuddle.
She would always assure herself, that the reason she never told you back then was because she thought she would cheat on you. Like she did in all her previous relationships. But she knew that was a lie.
She'd been in love with you since the sixth grade, she was just in denial of her sexuality and she was terrified of your parents.
Ellie continued to stare at your sleeping face, as the light from the moon shown in.
If only she knew the situation the two of you would be in now, then she would've fought harder for you back then.
You should see their face when they finally realize
That she plays with the boys
But she comes onto me
Wanna change her mind but I get unwise
'Cause she might be your girl
But she's calling me daddy
You always knew you liked girls. Ever since you were a little girl. Your parents believed that only man and women could fall in love with eachother. You couldn't tell utter the word "gay" infront of them.
How were you supposed to live a lie? How were you supposed to pretend?
You fell in love with Ellie when you were 15.
The day the two of you lay on picnic blanket eating dry pieces of bread because Ellie forgot to bring toppings. You remembered you told her a stupid knock knock joke and Ellie laughed at it.
She always laughed at everything you said. Even when it wasn't funny. You looked at her that day, as tears fell from her eyes at the amount of laughing she did.
You realize you liked her a little more as a friend.
In a gay way.
When you were 17 Ellie kissed you.
And god you thought it was magical.
It felt like fireworks exploding. The world around the two of you blur as your lips passionately danced together. It felt like how all the romance novels described it.
You knew since that day, since that kiss, that what you and Ellie had was real.
The two of you started dating soon after.
Your biggest fear was that your parents would've found out. You'd be sent to boarding school, Ellie would be taken away from you and you'd be treated like shit for loving someone.
Unfortunately your worst fears soon became a reality.
Your mother had walked in while you and Ellie shared a quick kiss, and all hell broke loose.
Your mother ran in yelling, pulling you away from Ellie.
She blamed Ellie for making you this way. She used to say Ellie brainwashed you. But if only she knew. If only she believed you when you told her, this was love.
Your mother held you in her arms, as you reached out for Ellie. And soon after that, Ellie was kicked out and banned to come to your house or anywhere near you.
You were sent to boarding school and for the rest of your life your parents made you feel like shit, they made you feel worthless because of your sexuality till Josh came along.
The only reason you agreed to even consider getting married to him was so that your parents thought that you would be "healed".
After you were sent to boarding school you lost contact with the women you loved. All the men you've been with never compared to Ellie.
And even when the two of you reunited, you both knew your story wasn't over.
The love you shared was stronger than anything.
And as you stood infront of the mirror, wearing your wedding gown, all you could do was imagine that Ellie was the one waiting for you and not Josh.
In the mess
She's responsible
Change her mind
It's impossible
Close your mouth
You, catch a fire
Watch the girl get
What she likes
Ellie stood up as the wedding music started playing.
The crowd erupted in cheers as you walked down the isle.
Ellie looked toward your husband to be, the grin on his face made her sick. She wanted nothing more than to get a chair and to hit him in the face.
Ellie watched as your father left you with your husband. That should be her standing there. Not Josh. You should be the one walking to her, she should be the one you wore that dress for.
But yet you stayed true to your parents and you chose to walk down the isle to get married to someone you felt nothing for.
She watched as she fake smiled, she watched as you said I do and as you said your vows.
"You are mine for a lifetime" Josh spoke as he finished his vows. No you weren't. You weren't his.
She watched the lips that she has kissed so many times kiss another person. The pit Ellie felt in her stomach grew heavier, it felt like she could vomit at any moment.
The second you and your husbands lips touched the crowd cheered and screamed. Chants of your new surname filled the room as you locked hands and faced the crowd with your new husband.
A smile spread across your beautiful face, as the two of you started exiting the church.
You and Ellie locked eyes, as you made your way out of church. You gave her a small wink. A smile spread onto Ellies face.
That wink gave her hope.
Just because you got married doesn't mean you have to stop seeing eachother.
You've always been hers.
You don't need a ring to prove it. You don't need a wedding to prove your love for eachother.
Even though you were married Ellie had nothing to worry about, because she knew at the end of the day you'd be calling her daddy.
Authors note: a less depressing one for the first time in a while lmfao, but don't worry your regular scheduled angst will return in my next post;).... remember you are loved and to always be kind, my requests are also always open. I love you all!
Yours truly,
Zia <3
#ellie tlou#ellie williams#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou x reader#ellie tlou2 x reader#ellie williams blurb#ellie williams drabble#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams imagine#ellie x reader#ellie tlou2#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams angst#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams smut#dark! ellie williams#ellie williams fan fic#ellie williams fic#ellie williams x fem reader#ellie williams hcs#ellie williams headcanons#ellie williams one shot#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams oneshot#ellie williams promlt#ellie williams the last of us#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams tlou2#ellie williams x reader
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Staff Room Blues
Robin Buckley x Fem!Reader
summary - All you want is for your girlfriend to spend time with you but she’s always with Steve.
warnings - angst, smut, smut might be bad because this is my first time writing it, jealous girlfriend, fighting with words not fists, Robin being clueless, mentions of homophobia, there will probably be grammar mistakes; it was 12 o’clock in the morning when I wrote this.
Being the manager of Family Video came with its perks. For example, you got to watch your girlfriend ramble on about her likes and dislikes all day. Her voice was always stuck in your head as if it were your favorite song.
You interrupted Robin as she was talking about how deathly afraid she was of contracting rabies, “How about you come over to my house after work? My parents aren't gonna be home until tomorrow night.”
“I can’t me and Steve are going to go catch a movie after I get off,” she said as she wrapped her arms around you, “Can I get a rain check?”
Your parents rarely left you home alone for more than one hour so this was basically the only time you had to show your girlfriend how much you really loved her. You knew your girlfriend was a lesbian but shit, she spent all her time with Steve. It also didn’t help that people though that they were dating.
“Oh, okay then,” you were fighting tears as you said that. You rarely cry but your jealousy was getting the best of you. You wish you could be out with the fact that you had a girlfriend. You wish that people knew that you and Robin were dating but it was the 80s. If you did that then you would put Robin and yourself into some deep trouble.
“Don’t cry. It’s not like i’m cheating on you,” Robin tried her best to calm you down but you had enough. You grabbed her arm and pulled her into the staff room.
“No, I know you aren't cheating on me but you spend all of your time with him! Its always Steve this Steve that. What about me! I'm your girlfriend. I want to spend time with you too,” you explained. Your tears were now flowing freely. Good thing you were a pretty crier.
“You're jealous. You're jealous of Steve Harrington! You know he spends like two hours doing his hair,” she snorted. Her laugh is extremely contagious. You would be laughing right now if you weren't pissed off.
“It takes me four hours to do my hair but you wouldn’t know that because you never ask me about anything!” you shouted. You didn't like bringing up the fact that Robin only talked about herself or Steve or band but she did. You didn’t mind at first because you didn’t want her to feel like she was annoying you.
“Why are you mad at me all of a sudden?” now she’s starting to get defensive.
“Because i’m jealous okay! You were right, I am jealous of Steve Harrington because it seems like you two spend almost everyday together,” you were a little more relaxed now. You decided that yelling and shouting at Robin wasn’t going to solve anything.
“We do work with each other,” she said matter of factly.
“And so do we. I hate it when people think you two are dating, I hate it that we never hang out anymore, I hate it that we can’t be out about our relationship, but at then end of the day I still have you and I guess thats all that really matters,” you continued.
“I guess?” Robin put her hand on her heart and looked offended.
“You know what I mean,” you smiled, “Can you please come over tonight?”
“I’ll tell Steve that I have super top secret business to attend to and that I can’t go with him tonight,” she winked.
You placed a quick kiss on her lips, “Thank you. We can even watch a movie at my house if you want or we can do other stuff,” you suggested.
“What other stuff?” she tilted her head as she stood a little closer to you.
“I don't know,” you shrugged and walked out of the staff room. You liked teasing Robin especially during work. Speaking of work, you left the front counter unattended for a while.
Let’s just say that the people standing in line weren’t happy.
✧༺♥༻∞
The movie you chose to watch was long forgotten as you were straddled on Robin's lap. Your top was off and her hands were running all over your body. You began to slide her top of but she shook her head. “I want to show you how sorry I am that I haven't spent enough time with you,” she said as her hands reach behind you to unclasp your bra.
She slid your bra off and threw it on the floor. She laid you down on the couch and began to kiss down your chest. She spent ten minutes worshiping your boobs. Taking one nipple in her mouth and sucking it until switched to the other one. She laughed when she felt your hips bucking up. Your pussy wanting to be touched. She began to kiss her way down to your stomach.
She rubbed her hands on your jean clad thighs and your thighs involuntarily opened. You were so needy and all you wanted right now was for Robin to stop teasing you.
“Stop teasing,” you whined. Robin laughed as she pushed out her bottom lip,
“Aww is my poor baby needy.”
“Yes! Now can you please touch me,” you pleaded.
Robin unbuttoned your jeans incredibly slow and she slid them down you legs. She slowly settled herself in between your legs and lowered you head to kiss your thighs. You sighed audibly and Robin blew a raspberry on your thigh causing you to laugh a little. She began to slowly take off your underwear. She bit her lip when she saw you in all your glory. Her hot-ass girlfriend was completely naked in front of her. She was glad she skipped going to the movies with Harrington.
She licked her way up to your clit. She swirled her tongue on your clit which made you grab onto your boobs and play with your nipples. One hand made its way into her hair and bunched it up in an extremely messy ponytail. She immediately latched herself onto your clit and your legs closed around her head. She separated your legs with her hands.
“Keep them open,” she said and went back to sucking the life out of you.
She sucked your clit for a few seconds and then went down to play with your quivering hole. The hand that was pinching your nipple slid down to play with you clit. Robin slapped your hand away and began to suck on your clit again.
Her fingers began to poke at your entrance. Her fingers slowly entered you and she began to slowly slide them in and out of you, making sure to hit just the right spots.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” you warned. Robin took that as a good sign and immediately retraced her fingers from you and began to rub your clit in circles until she saw that your thighs were shaking.
Your back arched like a cat and you moaned so loud that you were pretty sure the neighbors heard you. You laid your head on the arm of the couch as you tried to catch your breath.
“You okay there?” Robin asked.
“Perfectly fine,” you replied as you sat back up. The whole reason why you invited Robin over was to show her how much you loved her. You began to crawl to where she was sitting. You kneeled in front of her and placed your hands on her thighs.
“Now, it’s your turn.”
#robin buckley#robin buckley x reader#robin buckley x you#robin buckley x y/n#stranger things#stranger things season 4#lesbian reader#lesbian#angst#smut#first smut#robin buckley smut
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Imagine being Steve’s best friend…
…and having a crush on Robin…
Fem!reader insert (been awhile since I wrote one of these - enjoy!)
You would visit Family Video everyday, not only to see Steve but to see Robin. She was beautiful, and from the small conversations you two had about certain movies, you had developed a crush on her. You didn’t know if she was into women or not, and you hated that you were crushing on her. You shouldn’t be feeling this way but you couldn’t help it.
“You alright?” Steve asked you one day, the two of you spending the day together since he was off.
“I’m fine. Why?”
“You’ve been pretty quiet. Something on your mind?”
Steve knew you pretty well. You two have been friends since you were little and he knows you like the back of his hand. The only thing you never told him was you were into girls. He knew you liked guys, but he didn’t know you liked girls, too. You were looking up at him, a small smile over your lips. Maybe it was time for him to know.
“Yeah, actually. There’s something I’ve wanted to talk to you about. I-I uh, well, uh…” You weren’t sure how to say it. You really didn’t, because you didn’t know how he’d react. What if he wasn’t accepting? What if he didn’t want to be your friend anymore? The anxiety of telling him began to build up before it stopped, feeling his hand on your knee.
“What’s going on? Tell me.”
“Steve, I… you know how some girls like guys?”
Steve nodded.
“And you know how some girls like other girls?”
Again, he nodded.
“Well, there are uh, people who-who like both boys and girls…” You were trying to not get choked up and cry telling him this. The fear inside was getting to be too much.
“Okay, and…? Why are you telling me this…?” You loved Steve but sometimes he was a bit too naive.
“Well… I like boys and girls…” You weren’t prepared for the silence that followed. You knew it would take time for Steve to understand, to adjust to the news his best friend just told him. The silence was beginning to make you second guess yourself, make you think as though you didn’t make the right choice in telling Steve.
“Is there… a girl you like? And that’s why you’re telling me this?” Steve finally asked, slowly replying to what you had just told him. You perked up some, realizing that he wasn’t going to end your friendship.
“Actually, there is…” Steve watched you, waiting for the answer. “I have a huge crush on Robin. No offense, but she’s the reason I visit Family Video so much.” You were clearly embarrassed, but Steve chuckled to himself.
“How did I never see it? The way you looked at her, the way you would rent every movie she suggested you watch. Dammit.” Steve said as he watched you with the biggest smile.
“Yeah, but she probably doesn’t like me. She probably doesn’t even like women. I always seem to have a crush on straight women.” A sigh escaped your lips but Steve tried to keep the smile on his lips from growing.
“She works tomorrow until 6. Maybe just go in and ask her?” Steve wanted to tell her about Robin being a lesbian, but he didn’t know if Robin would like that so much.
“Being my wingman, Steve?” You teased but you were actually grateful for it. Steve chuckled and shrugged.
“Hey, you never know if you don’t ask. What’s the worse that could happen?”
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@coffinbutch tagged me for this! 15 questions + 15 friends!
(coffinbutch you are so brave for doing all 15 tags. im gonna take the coward's way and ask any mutual to consider themself tagged if they want to do it!)
long under here
1. Are you named after anyone?
yea! im named after my abuela who died waaay before i was born
2. When was the last time you cried?
3 days ago
3. Do you have kids?
nope! i work with kids (teenaged) and they're fine, i enjoy them, but that's plenty of Kid for me -- i don't need to have my own in my home everyday. id love to be a lesbian uncle tho! which i already kno is Not gonna happen from either of my brothers, so my only chance is my wife's younger sister haha (we were just talking abt this yesterday lol)
4. What sports do you play/have played?
hahha i don't think i've ever played a sport like Officially, like outside of PE classes. i like badminton tho, and B and i are trying to learn how to play pickleball (we suck)
5. Do you use sarcasm?
i suppose on occasion i sarcast
6. What is the first thing you notice about people?
hair & clothes? face? im a simple guy
7. What's your eye color?
the inner part of my irises are yellowish-brown and the outer edges are grey-blue. ppl dont usually notice it unless theyre quite up close tho. from a few feet away i think they look grey and that's what i'll usually mark for eye color, or blue if that's not an option
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
i could go for either, but i think i lean slightly more toward scary movies, especially bc i love vampire movies so much. like when we watch a dracula movie and u have one of those "the monster is defeated! hooray!" endings, does that count as a happy ending movie?? we root for drac tho so it's a let down!
9. Any talents?
idk im pretty good at whistling !
10. Where were you born?
california
11. What are your hobbies?
movies, video games, insect/arachnid related things (catching, collecting, pinning, reading abt, etc), sewing/embroidery when the mood strikes me, reading (trying to get back into it at least!), listening to music/discovering new bands, sorting/cataloguing things
12. Do you have any pets?
3 cats (hopey, bullets, and cocoa) + a baby tarantula (avocado) <3
13. How tall are you?
5'6.5" or 168 cm!
14. Favorite subject in school?
in high school my favs were probably trigonometry and ceramics
in college i'd say science (esp entomology, ecology, botany, and astronomy) and foreign languages (i took french, japanese, ASL, and spanish)
15. Dream job?
see one of the above hobbies and then pay me $100/hr to do it :-))
no but fr even tho my current job has its annoyances, it's usually so chill. some days i just text B from work like "here's a bracelet i made today" "made u a candle today" "it was slow and i mostly just read in the library" "i drew a cute poster." two weeks ago we came in for a couple hours to decorate little pouches with custom vinyl designs on our new cricut. the next day we went roller skating lmao. even the actual "work" is enjoyable (i help students w/ their schoolwork, mostly math, which is fun to me, or entering info into forms/spreadsheets, also kind of fun to me bc i can listen to music while i do it). buuut i dont make a lot of money. if they paid me $100/hr and gave me some benefits, i'd be set!
#i should post the pouch i made it's cute as hell#on q14 i had to stop myself from listing more sciences lol#shout out to chemistry and geology... microbiology is dope too#wt.txt#abt
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Get To Know Me(-ish)
I was thinking I could answer some typical “get to know me” questions, if anyone’s interested in reading them. If not, I’ve just done it for myself, I guess. Anyway, I’ve found these on Google. Let me know if there’s someone to credit! (prepare for me babbling on about completely useless stuff)
What's your name? Julianna (but I´m open for any nicknames, especially "my little ps5 cooling fan")
How old are you? I turned 23 this year. Yep, I´m having an internal crisis
What's your sexuality? I will say bisexual for now. But there´s a VERY high chance I'll change it to 100% lesbian. Like, right know girls are the only thing that interests me.
What I love the most about myself? I´m very kind and loyal. It could be seen as something bad, ik. But I´m trying to not let people use it against me. I also believe I'm a good listener, which is somethings I'm proud about. I'd also like to think I could make a boring task funny, like grocery shopping or doing the dishes.
What I dislike the most about myself? I have a pretty bad temper, I blame it on my dad. If I'm pissed, don´t even bother trying to calm me down. Just give me a few minutes to myself and I'll be back. But that leads me into the next thing I hate about myself, I hold onto things for waaaay to long. If someone did something bad 5 years ago you better believe I remember it. I´m also stubborn and think about other people´s opinion SOMETIMES, but let's not focus on that. I like to believe I just need to find "the right person" to pull me out of that mindset...
What are your favorite movies? The Wolf of Wallstreet, The Dark Knight, The Amazing Spider-Man, Yes Man, Toy Story, Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, Cast Away, Forest Gump, How To Train Your Dragon (duh), Black Swan, Django Unchained, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), (I've got a bunch, but basically anything that's either directed by Christopher Nolan or Quantin Tarantino OR has Tom Hanks or Leonardo DiCaprio in it)
What's your favorite song? I can't choose one, but here's a few songs that I can listen to on repeat for months and still find them as good as the first time I heard them:
Jos�� Feliciano - California Dreaming
Danzig - Mother
Ansel Elgort - Supernova
ASAP Rocky - Everyday
Pharrell Williams - Freedom
Post Malone - Hollywood's Bleeding
Skrillex - Don't Go
Adele - Chasing Pavements
Macklemore - Wings
KALEO - All The Pretty Girls
Justin Bieber - Hard To Face Reality
The Fray - Look After You
The Lumineers - Cleopatra
The Killers - When You Were Young
What are your hobbies? I´m trying to make myself busy with literally anything. I can't stand the thought of not being productive (doesn't stop me from laying in bed, watching youtube for hours!). So basically anything productive. Drawing, some sculpturing (nothing professional, calm down), very rarely write (obviously, I haven´t been updating this blog for like ages!). Recently I've been trying to learn how to play the piano AND electric guitar (ik, you can give me your number after the show).
Do you plan your outfits? Yeah, way more than I think anyone who sees me thinks. Idk how many nights I've spent, planning out in my head the outfit for the next day. Even if you see me wearing sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt you better believe that t-shirt wasn't the first one I tried on. Even if I´m going to the fucking hospital I can´t wear socks that doesn't match with the rest of the outfit...
The meaning behind my username? Tbh, I just started thinking of random stuff, like "sayings" that doesn't sound too...cringe? Then the Patrick meme of him in a knitted sweater with the writing "Mom, can you pick me up? I´m scared" (or something like that) popped into my head. I rephrased it a little before checked if it was taken, and it wasn't.
Any addition? Vanilla Coke or/and Dr Pepper (apart from my huge cocaine addiction), like I´m obsessed. Ik it sounds sooo dramatic, but if I had a no limit access to either of those sodas I'd die of diabetes in a week. If you want to get in my pants, just buy me a can and I'll get on my knees and propose to you.
Turn ons? I could say something like "eyes" and "hands", but I'll say some features I don´t think are AS common, but I got craaazy for. One of them would be scars. I can't explain to you how fucking kneebendingly HOT I think scars are. Idc if it's from acne, self harm or an actual injury. It's. So. Fucking. Attractive! People who's self contious about their scars, hit me up! Second thing I find really attractive is backs, idk why but I just find them so ecstatically pleasing especially filled with scratches by my nails.
Turn offs? People who's playing hard to get or think they're hot shit! I've spend too much of my teenage years chasing those type of assholes. And people who think people like that, wtf is wrong with you? I'd have a nerdy sweetheart everyday of the week! These fuckboy-type of behavior needs to be stopped, istg. If you like me, tell me that! (also, I need that clarification every now and then, otherwise I'll think you despise me...)
What skill would you most like to learn? To be able to comprehend any social situations without wanting to blow my brains out. I´m the worse when it comes to socializing, like overall. Doesn't matter if it's my relatives or complete strangers, I'll dig my nails so hard into palms inside my pockets. People who can start having a random discussion with someone on the streets, or blend in with their partner´s family first time they meet them PURLEY amaze me. I wanna be like them sooo bad.
Favorite ice cream flavor? I will say just plain vanilla, CAUSE if a brand is good the flavoring doesn't need to be so complicated (to slap). The brands who has these crazy flavor combinations are usually doing it to try and conceal their shitty ice cream *cough* Ben & Jerry *cough*. But if I wouldn't choose that I'd probably be something super childish, like "rainbow bubblegum cotton candy confetti".
Dogs or cats? I know the lesbian community will throw me out, but I 100% choose dogs. Idc what you say, cats are satans creation!
Favorite quote? "When you're having a bad day, don´t forget you're ugly too"
Favorite sport? I´m not really into sports. I was never an athletic kid. But whenever there´s pingpong on tv, I'm in a trance. Like I'll spend HOURS watching that shit without even knowing the rules.
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For the wlw soft ask thingy :
8. what’s your gaydar like?
21. what’s your favourite lgbt+ movie?
22. who’s your favourite openly wlw celebrity?
29. who’s your favourite fictional wlw?
8. I think I have a decent gaydar. I have myself a very string Queer aesthetic and my queer friends are all pretty politically involved so yeah, we look queer and new people I met through them look queer too, and in the real world as I look queer, I look like a safe place for quiet gay to come out to me. So in reality I don't know if my gaydar is that strong because I don't need it?
21 : LE PORTRAIT DE LA JEUNE FILLE EN FEU. I love it. Lesbian Titanic. I could watch that film everyday and everyday fall in love with the main characters.
22. Adele Haenel. She is a brilliant actress. So pretty I swoon when I see her. She is smart, I love listening to her talk. And I admire her bravery and all her fights against patriarchy.
29. This year I loved Arcane and I had the biggest crush on Vi. I also happen to have currently the same haircut and haircolor. I know their is no wlw kiss or "real" love confession in this one, but I still love her relationship with Caitlin so it's wlw enough for me.
#thanks pia#It was fun#I love being queer#And I love thinking about it#wlw pride#vi my beloved#Moins de patriarcat plus de Celine Sciama#portrait de la jeune fille en feu#adele haenel
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7_13_23
Not sure exactly what to say. I really miss my mom. The interesting thing I love and allows me to feel somewhat 'okay' is speaking about her as if she still is living. I know it can be uncomfortable for others, because what do you say to someone who is mourning. I appreciate those who allow me that space. I appreciate my one friend who reaches out every month checking to see if I'm okay. It's about to be seven months, every day it really feels unreal. She visits me a lot in my dreams, I guess. I think that emotionally makes it even worse. We went to Costco together and it was bittersweet until the end. I feel like people think because its been months that you are okay. I am grateful for my friends that don't feel no way about my absence. When I just need a moment, whether that's days or weeks. I sometimes feel bad that I can't give what I would normally give. That I can't support the way I use to. My heart really has a hole in it. I am already thinking ahead about Thanksgiving and Christmas. Trying to figure out how I will survive it. I asked my best friend if I could possibly come to her and her girlfriend's family house. My sister will be in town so I am unsure of the arrangements. I never knew what loneliness felt like until now. I understand when my sister does what she does to not be sucked in by the silence and the darkness.
My friend from New Orleans called early morning and honestly I didn't mind it. She always calls when I disappear for too long. I enjoy the early morning texts, the calls in general, it warms the soul to be honest, no matter who it comes from. I told my other best friend, I dislike my life its very routine. Waking up everyday same time, doing the same thing with no type of human interaction is detrimental. Humans are dysfunctional to me, but are needed. Humans lack a lot of emotions due to trauma, but I don't mind it. I think parts of me wants to get out and scream. Parts of me wants to meet new people and parts of me don't. I am always blamed for so much that isn't even my fault and that makes me want to void human life. I have missed calls that I need to actually callback, but it stresses me out to even be on the phone. I want to get back on social media, but I always have to explain myself and knowingly I don't owe anyone anything, it still feels like I do. I have canceled plans with people, because I become overwhelmed and I don't understand where it comes from. I still feel numb I guess? Maybe I've healed so much that I am broken now? That questions still remains the same. I reopened a website to try to join groups of individuals that are likeminded. They have this whole retreat for lesbians around Labor Day for less than $500. Black women who love women. At this point, I am like this is what I need a moment to get away, but then I don't trust anyone watching my brother, so I feel trapped. It's doable I suppose. I do have my fellow Capricorn who literally would help me out. I love us. Always down to assist. It's a thought. I mean what am I going to do on Labor Day weekend? I checked the calendar and I know my work is already closed and filled.
I definitely don't like latching on to people just because of loneliness and being sad, that's more harm than good in my eyes. I do appreciate my friend inviting me over for taco Tuesday a couple of weeks ago, just because, she lost her dad and she knows what it is like. Same with my other friend down the street losing her mother, always inviting me for some wine and food. To be honest I love that. Checking in and inviting you to their home, people don't realize how smalls gestures and thoughts carry in someone's life. Thankful they don't have their DND on all day, unlike a fake friend I had. Same with my best friend girlfriend inviting me over just for movie night. They understand being in this house is traumatizing. Bringing me into their space with all the positive energies is different. I just started crying ....I am grateful for them. I know my sister barely knows anyone out there except one and doesn't like staying at her place. it's still fresh wounds. I honestly hate living here. Lol, every time I come home I look at the front and just scream inside. I am grateful for my mom making sure her children were straight. I have a whole house. Lol, and a car basically for free. Lol, the sarcasm to keep from crying. Tomorrow is Friday thank God, hopefully I can get out and about. I really want to go visit mom, but I don't want to go alone. I have my brother but it still feels alone. I feel like I want to go and start digging, Lol, because this is some sort of dimensional that has been distorted and it's a dream that I am living, but the dreams are actually reality. Imagine having a conversation with someone who mind is small, about the abstracts of reality. Phew... scary.
I am a late night conversationalist. I speak of things that would question your subconscious. Make you question so many things. I enjoy in depth conversations, because it shows how far a human mind can go. Nothing has to make sense in those conversations and I love that. It's like being excited about random shit that has been floating in your mind and saying it without being judged. That's who I am. I do want to go back to social media but for some reason it stresses me out. I think it actually creates toxins in the mind. It's drama and chaos and I don't have that in my life so I am unable to relate. Maybe I will stick to Snapchat and Twitter? As soon as people wake up, they grab their phones. I actually text everyone Goodmorning... That's actually a great discussion to have among those that don't crave social media. Everyone who does that are like distorted humans that can't function. If I posted this on Snapchat I would start a riot. Some people post on social media and that's great, others get on there and become robotic and scroll and scroll. When I did get on there after acknowledging actually humans I know, I'd scroll for less a minute than get off, then everyone sends me posts and it felt overwhelming, because it was DMs after DMs and videos after videos and I felt overloaded. I'd real life stress about opening a DM and there were over 10 videos. It's too much, I'd reply to a DM then pray they don't respond, because I'd have to respond. It's mentally painful.
Speaking of social media caused me to panic and wanting to disappear again It's real life toxic. But bless the devious souls who are able to stand it. Maybe I should start to go on retreats? I love nature and have been in it a couple of times to admire its beauty without the toxins of cellular transmitting. I think a part of me is like, okay, if I go on this black queer women's retreat, the compliments of "you look younger" has got to stop. That also makes me not want to go, I appreciate it, but it be annoying in reality. They have a queer cruise too. I need to figure out what is happening to my outgoing personality. It's like I want to go outside and be with the humans, but I also want to be a hermit crab. There are some LGBTQ outings coming up, I just have to stop making excuses for why I can not. And why I should. And maybe meeting new people, I will impact their life, bringing something that they needed. I also need to help the homeless like I did previously.
To end this post; unfamiliar numbers call as well as private. I can only think of two people at this time. I don't even have the energy or curiosity to know what they want. Yall all of a sudden want to be with me huh, Lol. Why people set themselves up for failure will always be a mystery to me. If I did a podcast I'd provide some sort of insight to be a better person for yourself and your future partner. We all have flaws, because well humans are trial and errors of the world, but they don't define a person's identity. I remember giving this chick advice on bettering herself for some girl she liked, then in the process had the audacity to have a crush on me, like no ma'am stay focused. Spirituality has done a lot for me and that would be my focus. Manifesting and really having intentions gets you what you desire. See humans, desire things on the ideals of trauma and hurt and not on the ideals of healed and ready. Lol, I just be saying shit that feels like butter. But on the real, it's true. I come healed and ready and open to receiving. I don't hide things from the person I am dating. I've been hurt and cautious but also very open to receiving, see how I mentioned that twice. I hear people say, "i will never do that again..because of what happened last time." I understand that fully. Fear of receiving the same results and fear of feeling those don't feel good emotions, but that actually hinders you. But I guess that's what makes me a catch to some. Listen, I've been hurt and screwed over, but I am still going to show up with flowers randomly, write love notes, ask to see you, ask questions, etc., even though in the past I've been rejected or shit hit the fan when I did gestures. You know why, because the person I am dating is not the past and doesn't deserve someone else's pain. Might need to read that again. I won't express my emotions because of this and that. Honey, I've been rejected for expressing my emotions, but no one and nothing is going to stop me from still being who I am. I am on the wrong planet, right? Lol, wrong dimension, wrong universe, wrong vessel? So when I hear things, I think so ...I have to be punished for someone else's doing or even your own doing. And most people, get it, but by then Im uninterested. Hence the thirty day rule.
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For the next introduction story, we're going to do:
Scarlett (Made and Written by Leo)
Birthday: March 21st
Age: 16
Pronouns: She/They
Sexuality: Lesbian
Favourite artists: Girl in Red, Ariana Grande, The Neighbourhood, Mitski, Melanie Martinez and Arctic Monkeys
Favourite song: 505- Arctic Monkeys
Favourite film/s: The Fear Street trilogy
Favourite tv show: Stranger Things
Nationality: Welsh
Friends: Bug, Blake, Ava, Isabella, Cam (Trying their best to become friends with Natalia and Wanda)
Closest friend: Ava
About her in general:
Scarlet always made friends with people since they were a small child, they were just the friendly happy type which made everyone like her, but she was always friends with Ava since year 1 of primary and they’ve been inseparable ever since. They will always be seen walking around the hallways holding hands and Sacrlett actually, really likes her... like a lot. They say they’re straight to the people who don't know her, but the closet is glass.
Anyways, they have always been “perfect” her whole life, no matter what: grades, personality, looks etc. and after a while everyone started thinking that they just wanted attention and that’s why she’s so good at everything, which was just wrong, but everyone believed it and all kind of turned against her in year 5 which made her go through a really rough patch, with bullying, getting nasty looks down the hall way, hearing whispers whenever they walk past someone, which is why she decided to move school in year 6 and Ava had to go with her cause they would never leave eachother. Which is when they both met Bug, a lonely, very green boy sat on the swings, humming and looking around for something.
They both decided to walk up to him and ask what he’s up to. “Hi! My name's Scarlett, she's Ava, and we couldn’t help but think you look a little lonely, do you want to hang out with us?” to which the boy looked up at them both and said “Hi! My names bug, I'm 11 years old, I love green as you can see and all nature. I would love to hang out with you guys, but right now I'm just looking for my pet butterfly, if you want to help?” Ava and Scarlett stood there stunned that someone so small could say that many things so fast, but they both agreed and got the butterfly. “What’s this little creature called?” Scarlett asked and Bug just said, “Moss”. They hung out there for an hour just talking about their favourite movies and stuff and they all became the best of friends.
After year 7, Scarlett started getting lots of comments about her body that made her extremely uncomfortable. If they were walking down the street in something, like a dress or a crop top, they’d hear all sorts of old gross men whistling at her or saying stuff like “How about I take you home?” and just giving them weird looks in general. And as soon as Ava found out, she was disgusted and said that she’d walk with them wherever they went to stop that happening, and if it did, Ava would immediately have a go at them. And that’s why scarlett only wears big baggy clothes now, to prevent anything like that happening anymore.
They had a sister but she got taken away when scarlett was 9 because of her anger issues. Scarlett would constantly hear stuff like glass shattering and doors slamming everyday to the point that as soon as they got home from school, she’d run straight to her room, lock the door and watch the telly, full volume. When their sister left, she was sad for a day or two but after that she was relieved that she was going somewhere that could actually take care of her and not constantly argue with her.
In year 7, Blake had joined their friend group and Scarlett always thought that they were keeping secrets, just the way they never smiled and smoked all the time, wore long sleeves no matter the weather, it had always made her think something was going on with them but she never asked cause they know that when people ask how you’re feeling it just makes you feel worse if you aren’t feeling good and lie. But a few months after that, Isabella got introduced to the friend group and scarlett was so happy to become friends with her cause they looked so happy and kind all the time, no matter the circumstances and that made scarlett think that they would just be an amazing friend, and that she was. They made such good friends and Ava did get a little jealous, but never confronted them because she didn’t want to be a burden.
In year 8, Wanda and Natalia got introduced to the group but for some reason they never tried to make friends with Scarlett, which made her think that she did something to put them off, but they didn’t. Scarlett would walk up to Wanda and Natalia and say “Hi, how are you?” with a nice smile, waving and they’d both say “Fine” and speed walk away from her. She would always go and ask Ava why they disliked her but Ava just said “They just don’t know you well enough, they’ll like you eventually” Scarlett never said anything after Ava said that, but in their mind she was just thinking “I have tried but they just don’t care”.
A few months ago, Cam got introduced to the group and literally everyone notices how excited Bug gets whenever Cam's around and how Cam is always blushing or smiling whenever they’re around eachother. It’s so painfully obvious that they like eachother but they, for some reason, just can’t see it. But it does make a good laugh for everyone watching them, stumble their words and acting really awkward when talking, but at the same time really naturally happy and just like cute. Ava, Isabella, Blake and Scarlett all find it hilarious whenever they talk and normally Scarlett and Blake start tearing up and turning red of laughter.
Scarlett was always seen as the friendly kind hearted person ever since she was just a baby, which had ended up putting this ridiculous standard on them to be the best and always smile and never show any emotion except happiness, which really took a toll on her mentally recently. Even people that their close friends with get upset at her when she’s not happy 24/7 and it makes them think that she’s the problem. They stay up all night studying and doing homework and get around 45 minutes of sleep each night but always appears happy, awake and alive. They always bottle her emotions up and never lets anyone know how she feels so they all assume they’re happy no matter what. But other than that she’s perfectly fine.
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2,3,9,13,18 and 19? I’m nosy 👀
I was not expecting this as I like just answering them on my free time, so thank you!
2. Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it
I don’t really have a type in the sense of there’s only one type of person I’ll date or like. I’ve always been open to the possibility of anything. However, all three people I have dated have been white girls with dark hair that are taller than me. However, being 5’1”, that isn’t all that difficult.
3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?
I own both but I would say I’m more of a plaid button-up kinda gal. I am wanting to get a new leather jacket though.
9. Any haircut goals for the future?
Nothing big. I’m back in Arizona for the summer and it’s hot as hell here so I’m going to do an undercut. But it’s just the back and no crazy design lol. I am thinking of dyeing my hair black again, though. Which is still, not all that different.
13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!
Ahhhhhhhh my favorite subject, my girlfriend! Lord where do I start. She’s so kindhearted and selfless. She always asks me how I’m doing and what my day has entailed. I like to think I’m a optimist, but with the way I’m constantly complaining and ranting about something, I’m very much a pessimist but she just listens as I go on and on. When we call she is the most precious girl in the world. Her voice gets cutely high pitched when I flirt with her or tell her I love her. And some of my favorite moments with her is when she’s feeling small and it’s just so precious. She’s absolutely beautiful. I could just sit and look into her eyes for hours and get lost in them. Her cheeks are so rosy and I just want to kiss them over and over. Her nose is the cutest thing in the world and I want to kiss and nuzzle it constantly. And since this is my nsfw blog…she has me at a balanced mix of 😍 and 🥵. I never believed in soul mates before her but the more I learn about her the more that I just know that she is my perfect match. We complement each other so well and it just amazes me everyday.
If you ask about my girlfriend, I will spend hours talking about her 🙈
18. Favorite lesbian movie?
You are asking a difficult question my friend. Either Imagine Me & You, Carol, or Loving Annabelle. The third one was the first one I ever watched. The second is just so perfect and I have the soundtrack on vinyl. And a quote from the first is what I put as my title.
19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?
This is also fairly difficult, as I read a lot of Wattpad in my teen years. (I never got into AO3 if any of you come at me I will fight) I think my favorite would have to be from that app however, the author only wrote nine chapters and it’s more of a “what could have been” sort of thing for me lol
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Here are 73 fact about me that nobody ask for but i need validation
1- I love Reading, drawing and plants even if i always kill them
2- I'm a whore for Jane Austen
3- I love when people prove that a conspiracy theory is false
4- I have a weird passion for geology and paleontology
4- I probably have undiagnosed ADHD because of my mother
5- I'm bad at frienship, every of them have to be special
6- My love language is talking about my passion and learning everything about the person, people think it's weird, i have nobody
7- I'm hopeless romantic even if i act like i'm not
8- I hate being touch and i hate hug, they feel weird to me
9- I hate when someone is next to me and their arm or knee touch me, it's make me feel anxious
10- I'm an introvert with diagnosed social anxiety, i'm also an infp and a sagittarius
11- I'm bi and disgusted about the idea of having s*x with someone, i think i'm ace, nobody will ever love me like i do
12- Autumn is the best season and i basically live for rainy day, if it could rain forever i will be the happiest
13- I love academic validation but i suck at school, my only way to work is to pretend i'm Chilton Rory Gilmore
14- I read non stop for 6 month and after i go on a reading slump for the rest of the year
15- I don't have a stable personality
16- I write sad poetry
17- I'm sad and this is my main personality trait
18- My family said that i'm basically sadness from this Disney movie
19- I want to move in a cottage in England with a lot of mountains so i can found cool rocks
20- I have a no self control and a big problem with my emotions
21- I get angry very easily
22- I only have 3 friends and one of them is my sister
23- I have commitment issues
24- I broke up two times in two years with two different girls that lives at more than 8h from me
25- I hate what the french language became even if i can't write a sentence without any fault
26- English is my fav subject at school
27- I hate eyes contact, it's make me uncomfy and i feel like people judge me
28- I feel like i'm better than everyone
29- I feel like everyone hate me
30- I feel sorry for every teacher
31- I love being in my bed, scrolling on my phone or reading but i hate sleeping because i feel like i'm wasting my time
32- Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night because i feel like i forgot something for school, even if i'm in vacation
33- I hate people at school because i get bullied
34- People don't like me but i would kill to have someone like me in my life so i don't understand
35- I don't understand every jokes, i just know it's suppose to be funny so i laught, i just understand that
36- Taylor Swift is my only religion
37- I Iove more Harry styles songs than Harry styles himself, i found him arrogant and he always date problematic women, Stan Niall
38- I would do anything for Ben Barnes and Tom Hiddleston or any british men in their 40 who have a degree in literature
39- I relate to Spencer Reid in a way that nobody could ever understand
40- I love true crime, my favorite stories are about cult
41- My love for my cat is not healthy, if he died, i have to follow him
42- I alway stop watching Gilmore girls when Rory finish Chilton because i hear that she became annoying but she's one of my confort character so i don't want to see it
43- I prefer the marauders over the golden trio
44- I'm a Remus Lupin kinnie and a James Potter Simp
45- I hate Dumbledore with my whole heart i could talk about it for hours
46- I started all the young dudes, i like it but i cry at every chapter so i stoped
47- I hate my brother but if he died i would be destroyed
48- When i was little i have an obsession with panda and now i have panda everywhere in my room
49- I don't know if i want to live alone forever because i like the idea or because of any other reason
50- I alway need adults validation
51- When i was a kid i was sleeping with my socks on because i liked it but i learned that some people think it's weird so i stoped
52- I eat my cereal with no milk and i don't understand the debate, for me it always taste the same: disgusting
53- I hate touching food that isn't mine ( like when someone ask if you want to taste their meal, or if you have to clean something that someone else eat in, it's just make me want to threw up)
54- I have to sleep with no sound, if you breath a little to loud i will not be able to sleep, i'll be angry and probably hit you, one time my sister breathed too loud and i cryed
55- When i was a kid i hated turtle neck, it maked me feel like i was chocking but i learned how to support it even if it's still uncomfy
56- I hate when a shirt, a dress or a blouse show too mutch of my skin, i don't like it
57- I always wear a tank top with my t-shirt and if i don't i feel naked
58- My first panick attack was because i had a fight with my brother and my dad was yelling at me and didn't see it (i'm not mad at him)
59- When i was little i acted like i couldn't read because i was scared my mom will not read story to me anymore
60- I had my first phone at 13 but i wish i didn't
61- When i was 11 i started reading sm*t on my DS and it became an addiction, i wish everyday i forget what i read
62- I realise i was bi because of Millie Bobby Brown in Stranger things
63- I didn't realise my feminisme wasn't good until a 12yrs old insulted me in a comment section, i said thanks to her after
64- I love kids, i think they're cute and i'm jealous of their innocence so i act like i hate them
65- I want to raise a kid alone in the forest
66- I'm sure that my grandma in my dad side is a lesbian and that my mom is bisexual but have internalised homophobia
67- I hate when boomer joke about hating their husband/wife, just divorce
68- I still have my babies plush even if they're disgusting and look possessed
69- I sleep with my fairy lights on because three month ago i had a sleep paralysis
70- My parents are responsible of 80% of my insecurities and don't even know it
71- I love when it's get dark earlier in autumn/winter
72- I'm an Amy March simp
73- I just made a liste of 73 fact about me
#reading#drawing#plants#jane Austen#conspiracy theories#geology#paleontology#ADHD#love language#introvert#social anxiety#biromantic#asexual#autumn#infp#sagittarius#neurodivergent#fact about me#validation#rory gilmore#gilmore girls
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Queer Movies/Books/TV Shows for Pride Month!
Happy Pride everyone!! For your viewing/reading pleasure I have made a (non-exhaustive) list of queer media that I have enjoyed!
Movies/Documentaries
Pride (2014): An old tried and true favorite, which meets at the intersection of queer and workers’ rights. A group of queer activists support the 1985 miners’ strike in Wales (complete with a sing-through of Bread and Roses + Power in a Union)
Portrait of a Lady on Fire: On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman (or, two young lesbians fall in love by the sea, and you cry)
God’s Own Country: Young farmer Johnny Saxby numbs his daily frustrations with binge drinking and casual sex, until the arrival of a Romanian migrant worker for lambing season ignites an intense relationship that sets Johnny on a new path (Seriously this movie is GREAT and doesn’t get enough love, watch it! It’s rough but ends happily)
The Half of It: When smart but cash-strapped teen Ellie Chu agrees to write a love letter for a jock, she doesn't expect to become his friend - or fall for his crush (as in she falls for his crush who is another girl. This movie was so good, and really friendship focused!)
Saving Face: A Chinese-American lesbian and her traditionalist mother are reluctant to go public with secret loves that clash against cultural expectations (this is an oldie and a goodie, with a happy ending!)
Moonlight: A young African-American man grapples with his identity and sexuality while experiencing the everyday struggles of childhood, adolescence, and burgeoning adulthood (featuring gay men of color!)
Carol: An aspiring photographer develops an intimate relationship with an older woman in 1950s New York (everyone’s seen this I think, but I couldn’t not have it here)
Milk: The story of Harvey Milk and his struggles as an American gay activist who fought for gay rights and became California's first openly gay elected official (the speech at the end of this made me cry. Warning, of course, for death, if you don’t know about Harvey Milk)
Pride (Hulu Documentary): A six-part documentary series chronicling the fight for LGBTQ civil rights in America (they go by decade from the 50s-2000s, and there is a lot of great trans inclusion in this)
Paris is Burning (Documentary): A 1990s documentary about the African American and Latinx ballroom scene. Available on Youtube!
A New York Christmas Wedding: As her Christmas Eve wedding draws near, Jennifer is visited by an angel and shown what could have been if she hadn't denied her true feelings for her childhood best friend (this movie is SO CUTE. It’s really only nominally a Christmas movie and easily watched anytime. Features an interracial sapphic couple!)
TV Shows
Love, Victor: Victor is a new student at Creekwood High School on his own journey of self-discovery, facing challenges at home, adjusting to a new city, and struggling with his sexual orientation (this is a spin-off of Love, Simon, and it’s very sweet and well done! Featuring a young gay man of color)
Sex Education: A teenage boy with a sex therapist mother teams up with a high school classmate to set up an underground sex therapy clinic at school (this has multiple queer characters, including a featured young Black gay man and also in season 2 there is a side ace character!)
Black Sails: I mean, do I even need to put a summary here? If you follow me you know that Black Sails is full of queer pirates, just queers everywhere.
Gentleman Jack: A dramatization of the life of LGBTQ+ trailblazer, voracious learner and cryptic diarist Anne Lister, who returns to Halifax, West Yorkshire in 1832, determined to transform the fate of her faded ancestral home Shibden Hall (Period drama lesbians!!! A title sequence that will make you gay just by watching!)
Tales of the City (2019): A middle-aged Mary Ann returns to San Francisco and reunites with the eccentric friends she left behind. "Tales of the City" focuses primarily on the people who live in a boardinghouse turned apartment complex owned by Anna Madrigal at 28 Barbary Lane, all of whom quickly become part of what Maupin coined a "logical family". It's no longer a secret that Mrs. Madrigal is transgender. Instead, she is haunted by something from her past that has long been too painful to share (this is based on a book series and it’s got lots of great inter-generational queer relationships!)
The Haunting of Bly Manor: After an au pair’s tragic death, Henry hires a young American nanny to care for his orphaned niece and nephew who reside at Bly Manor with the chef Owen, groundskeeper Jamie and housekeeper, Mrs. Grose (sweet, tender, wonderful lesbians. A bittersweet ending but this show is so so wonderful)
Sense8: A group of people around the world are suddenly linked mentally, and must find a way to survive being hunted by those who see them as a threat to the world's order (queers just EVERYWHERE in this show, of all kinds)
Books
Loveless by Alice Oseman: Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she’s sure she’ll find her person one day. This wise, warm and witty story of identity and self-acceptance sees Alice Oseman on towering form as Georgia and her friends discover that true love isn’t limited to romance (don’t be turned off by this title, it’s tongue-in-cheek. This is a book about an aroace college girl discovering herself and centers the importance and power of platonic relationships! I have it on my TBR and have heard great things)
Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters: Reese almost had it all: a loving relationship with Amy, an apartment in New York City, a job she didn't hate. She had scraped together what previous generations of trans women could only dream of: a life of mundane, bourgeois comforts. The only thing missing was a child. But then her girlfriend, Amy, detransitioned and became Ames, and everything fell apart. Now Reese is caught in a self-destructive pattern: avoiding her loneliness by sleeping with married men.Ames isn't happy either. He thought detransitioning to live as a man would make life easier, but that decision cost him his relationship with Reese—and losing her meant losing his only family. Even though their romance is over, he longs to find a way back to her. When Ames's boss and lover, Katrina, reveals that she's pregnant with his baby—and that she's not sure whether she wants to keep it—Ames wonders if this is the chance he's been waiting for. Could the three of them form some kind of unconventional family—and raise the baby together?This provocative debut is about what happens at the emotional, messy, vulnerable corners of womanhood that platitudes and good intentions can't reach. Torrey Peters brilliantly and fearlessly navigates the most dangerous taboos around gender, sex, and relationships, gifting us a thrillingly original, witty, and deeply moving novel (again, don’t be thrown off by the title, it too, is tongue-in-cheek. This book was GREAT, and written by a trans women with a queer-and especially trans--audience in mind)
A Tip for the Hangman by Allison Epstein: A gay Christopher Marlowe, at Cambridge and trying to become England’s best new playwright, finds himself wrapped up in royal espionage schemes while also falling in love (this book is by a Twitter friend of mine, and it is a wonderful historical thriller with a gay man at the center).
Creatures of Will and Temper by Molly Tanzer: a very very queer remix of The Picture of Dorian Gray (which was already quite queer), featuring amazing female characters, a gay Basil, and a much happier ending than the original.
Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: The gay prince of England and the bisexual, biracial first son of the president fall in love (think an AU of 2016 where a woman becomes president). Featuring a fantastic discovery of bisexuality, ruminations on grief, and just a truly astonishing book. One of my favorites!
One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston: For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures. But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train (This is Casey McQuiston’s brand new novel featuring time-travel, queer women, and I absolutely cannot WAIT to read it)
The Heiress by Molly Greely: Set in the Pride and Prejudice universe, this takes on Anne de Bourg (Lady Catherine’s daughter), and makes her queer!
Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters: Nan King, an oyster girl, is captivated by the music hall phenomenon Kitty Butler, a male impersonator extraordinaire treading the boards in Canterbury. Through a friend at the box office, Nan manages to visit all her shows and finally meet her heroine. Soon after, she becomes Kitty's dresser and the two head for the bright lights of Leicester Square where they begin a glittering career as music-hall stars in an all-singing and dancing double act. At the same time, behind closed doors, they admit their attraction to each other and their affair begins (Sarah Waters is the queen of historical lesbians. All of her books are good, and they’re all gay! The Paying Guests is another great one)
(On a side note re: queer books, there are MANY, these are just ones I’ve read more recently. Also there are a lot of indie/self-published writers doing great work writing queer books, so definitely support your local indie authors!)
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👀👀👀👀 Ship your moots
Alright I’m putting this under a readmore because I’m going to try and include all of my moots so let’s see how I do. They’re going to be split up half and half so this is the first half. I’m determined also I may have gone overboard but it’s chill
Edit: adding more here!
@dabitdabi Keigo for sure, they’d be so powerful it would be insane😩, he’d be so cute and flustered and Cheshire is such a sweetheart he’d practically drop everything for her if she needed it. The type of couple who compliment each other, she’d remind him to take care of himself and make sure he knows that shes somebody he can depend on/talk to at the end of the day. And he’ll take care of her too, make sure he remembers her favorite food, flower, blanket you name it he’ll remember.
@sleepyrintaro (ik you’re on a hiatus love but I wanted to include you too) Kuroo, another absolute unit. When I tell you they’re both geniuses and when they’re together they’re either the most intelligent people or have one brain cell shared and there’s no in between, there’s no in between. Rin is amazing and is so kind/has such a big heart the two of them would have so much fun together and be so fun to be around. Kuroo would love hearing about psychology and it would basically turn into talking about hyperfixations going back and forth.
@rukunas Sukuna hands down. Rue is so sweet and has the best vibes and I feel like Sukuna would be drawn to that. The soft but only for you trope definitely comes into play here. Sukuna would look so intimidating and tease Rue but then get flustered half way through. King of curses or not he can be really intimidating one minute but as soon as you need him he’s instantly like ‘what’s wrong baby what happened?’ (Basically the Gordon Ramsey with kids vs with adults comes into play here).
@kkodzvken Dabi or Toga, Lune is a sweetheart and I feel like both Dabi and Toga would look at them and instantly think ‘I want to protect them.’ This relationship would be very cute in its own way because they’d all watch out for each other. Dabi would smile so fondly it would be a crime, but if he’s ever called out on it he would 100% deny it and you can’t convince me otherwise. He’d let Lune wear his coat around if they wanted to. With Toga, she’d do skin care (if you wanted to) and would adore shopping dates! Loves cuddling and just snuggling up to you too!
@katslutski I cannot stress this enough: Nanami Kento. They both value independence and Nanami would take care of you if you needed it. He’d love chilling and watching movies or reading quietly with Kat and nobody can convince me otherwise. Slow dancing in a kitchen would be a must at least once. They’d have separate apartments but spend a lot of time at the others. He’d send texts from time to time asking how she is and would enjoy making dinner together with her. Nothing relaxes him more than the time they have together. Kat is so fun to talk to and is honestly amazing and so is Nanami so they would for sure have the best convos too.
@pupimouto Chuuya hands down. Babi is honestly amazing and Chuuya would be so enamored. He’d also have the thought of ‘Must protect.’ Adores her, the red and pink aesthetic for sure. He’d get into a fight if anybody looked at her the wrong way. If there’s a bad day he’d be there to hold her close to her and reassure her and if she kisses him or holds his hand/tells him she loves him? Gone he has ascended, he’ll smile for the rest of the day.
@oilivia Oikawa. Liv deserves the best and who is Oikawa if he doesn’t provide? Their relationship is super fun, he’d listen to her playlists and playfully tease her a bit but it’s all in good fun. (He makes sure not to go too far and cross a line) the type of relationship where they both bicker playfully, but also have really deep convos. They also balance each other out and help each other to either break out of their shell or relax and just focus on the present. Communication between them is amazing, they make it look so easy. Both of them are able to confide in the other knowing it’s a safe space and there will be no judgement. Oikawa also loves to fluster her in public by calling her cute pet names.
@bakugohoex Jean Kirschtein, they’re able to be independent but also comes together. The best friends before being lovers type of thing. Ria is amazing and Jean would be there to hang out with her and makes sure to call her beautiful everyday. He adores the little domestic moments the most and would love hearing about her day and would check in throughout the day with ‘Hey baby how are you doing?’ Attentive and he’s a very good listener. They’d both work so well together! He seems like the type to theorize movies and so they’d both exchange their own and see who’s closer to what’s actually going on.
@chaos-night *deep inhale* ATSUHIRO SAKO please they’d be so perfect I’m not even kidding! He’d take up ballroom dancing lessons so they could dance in the kitchen and their relationship would be so soft and wholesome. Chaos is a wonderful person and is a great listener as well as fun to talk to so they would both revel in each other’s presence. Atsuhiro would shower her in praise all the time. He’d adore her so much and everyday would fall a little more in love with her. King of romantic dates whether it’s extravagant or just hanging out and watching movies either way he adores it. Will hold her close to his chest as they sleep whispering how much he loves her and how lucky he is to be with her.
@raes-still-rambling the sweetest I can’t even articulate. Tamaki Amajiki they would work so well together. He’d find so much comfort in them. His favorite would be if they just cuddled together and watched a movie. He isn’t big on romance but he’d put his all into it regardless. Loves holding their hand and would smile softly whenever he sees her. They’d definitely have a cuddling playlist and he’d show them he loves them through small actions
@m-mortimer Christa and Ymir 100%. Izzie has such a big heart and I feel like she’d fit into this dynamic so well! They’d both take care of her, Ymir has strong mommy dom energy and would make sure both her girls are doing well. They would all live the cottage core lesbian dream I guarantee you. Would dance around and just have a lot of laughs together, making flower crowns would be an absolute must. They’d all take care of each other and would help if any of them got into a bad headspace. This relationship would feel like a home.
@deludedimagines Levi Ackerman, Sorcha has to be one of the coolest people ever and who better to match that energy than Humanity’s Strongest. Their relationship would be comfort. Both of them would find solace in each other whether it be making tea late at night to playing games in the morning. The two of them would work so well together, completely content to dwell in the comfortable silence they’ve created. They’d also clean together with soft music playing in the background and Levi can’t get enough of it. Their relationship is full of understanding one another. The phrase/lyrics “Life is not the things that we do it’s who we’re doing them with” very much applies here.
@fuwushiguro Toji Fushiguro no questions asked. The most interesting and fun relationship ever, Venus is a goddess and is so kind/compassionate Toji would start out being like ‘I have no intention of falling in love’ and then before he knows it he’s in love. Would protect her no matter what, they would have amazing stories. Their life would be like a movie. He’d hold her and in the soft moments tell her how much he loves her and how he feels complete with them together. He’s the type to use action instead of words so if he sees her sad? He’s off to get ice cream and put on her favorite comfort movie. He grumbles about her making him soft but when she just gives him a smile and says he likes it he can’t help but smile fondly, he can’t argue with that.
@fushigurocockslut Mahito, they too have a fun relationship. Tessa is one of the chillest people I’ve ever had the joy of knowing and her and Mahito would be so chaotic im living for it. They share one brain cell and it’s to wreak total havoc, both of them have the friendship dynamic down to the point where people have to ask if they’re dating or just close friends. Mahito loves spending time with her and they both would absolutely prank the hell out of Nanami. Also they’d find/have the coolest hang outs to chill and listen to music, eat snacks and vibe. Although they may be chaotic they’d also have really chill moments where they would just relax and stargaze. The two of them could talk about everything and anything.
@doinmybesthere Shoto Todoroki. Emme has a huge heart with so much love and she deserves to receive all that love back and more. Shoto is not big on pda, but behind closed doors he loves intimacy. In the quiet moments of just waking up he’d kiss her forehead with a groggy ‘Good morning love’ their dynamic is ‘Two sweethearts in a room they might love each other unconditionally’ and then they did. Slow dancing in the kitchen? Absolutely. Shoto is also attentive and adores Emme’s beautiful singing voice, on bad nights he loves nothing more than to feel her fingers in his hair and hear her voice as he drifts off. If the roles are reversed he holds her to his chest and hums softly while rubbing soothing circles against her back. Their relationship is wholesome and they bring out the best in each other.
@izukine Takemichi for sure. Both would try and protect the other and they’d both be flustered by the other since they’d both of the thought process of ‘Theyre so cute my heart feels like it’s about to burst’ Liyah is so friendly and awesome and I feel like Takemichi would be drawn to that. Whether it be walking around or just chilling both of them would just like the time they spend together. Every time Takemichi sees her he instantly perks up and has a cute smile on his face. Their relationship holds solid communication and trust.
@cupcake-rogue Bakugou Katsuki without question. King of making sure Star is taken care of and has a soft spot for her. Everybody makes fun of him for it, but he doesn’t care. Star would mean the world to him and knowing that he comes home to see her face would relax him and keep him calm. He loves holding her in his arms and if she runs her fingers through his scalp he’s gone. Instantly falls asleep. Uses actions over words so he’ll make sure he has her favorite foods/drinks stalked in the fridge. If he notices it’s a bad day he’ll ask how he can make it better. The two of them would have a relationship that’s all about care.
@nomadmilk Kirishima Eijirou both of them take care of each other and have so much fun together. Matching outfits? Sure. Cute couple photos? Absolutely! They’re the definition of couple aesthetic/goals. Love being affectionate, it doesn’t matter if they’re in public or not. Kirishima will constantly praise Noma and be like ‘that’s my baby!’ Whenever you do something. He loves supporting you and if you ever comfort him/do the same he’ll be so happy. Loves to hold and cuddle Noma a lot. Both of them together would radiate so much love they both deserve wonderful things.
If I didn’t get to you this round just you wait cause tomorrow is part 2
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Mcyt Headcanons // Mcyt x reader
Character(s): Dream, Sapnap, Nihachu, Karl, Quackity
Pronouns: Gender neutral, she/her for Nihachu because I feel like making a lesbian headcanon for it
Warnings: Slight swearing
Request: None
Summary: Cuddling mcyt headcanons would possibly be like :]
Dream
— You guys probably cuddle like everyday/every night.
— Like, after Clay streamed something exhausting or some shit, he would be like "(Y/N) I’m exhausted, come here and cuddle with me."
— The cuddles would be very long or maybe until you fall asleep.
— Would probably hold you tight in his arms and have a small conversation during the cuddles.
— You always feel protected and safe when you’re with him.
— You would snuggle into his chest while he plays with your hair.
— Mans really soft and sweet when he gets all cuddly asf.
— He’s small breaths are so relaxing to listen to hecc.
— "Why couldn’t we stay like this forever?"
— "Because sometimes life isn’t fair, am I right or am I right?"
— *Kettle noises*
— "You’re right..."
— Idk what that was but 🤡
— Would probably turn on the tv and watch a movie, but it depends on the mood and time.
— He would sometimes read a few fanfictions out loud to you and just laugh and stuff but it’s rare.
— And the next day he would probably say something on his stream like "I swear to god, (Y/N)‘s the best cuddler."
— He’s just 🥺💕💖, okay?
Sapnap
— I think we all know that Nick is the most cuddling bitch ever
— THIS MAN WANTS TO FUCKING CUDDLE WITH YOU EVERY SECOND
— "(Y/N) can we pwease cuddle 🥺👉👈"
— LIKE FUCK YOU ALWAYS SAY YES OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE NO ONE CAN SAY NO TO THIS CHILD
— Anyway
— He’s cuddly asf
— He’s a bby when it comes to cuddling with you
— You’re the one to always spoon, but he does it to you sometimes if you’re feeling lazy or bad
— Y’all would probably watch anime while cuddling
— Would never let you go unless you needed to go to the bathroom
— He would be like "I don’t care, let’s just skip the stream."
— You always mess with his hair
— You guys also make small conversations
— Small kisses from time to time
— Caresses your cheek and looks at you in the eyes in awe
— You always giggle when he kisses your nose
— "You know I love you, right?"
— "Yeah, you always tell me that, Nick. I love you too as well!"
Nihachu
— Niki is an absolute softie and wholesome when she cuddles with you
— You both giggle all the time for no internal reasons
— The cuddles lasts like Clay’s, probably until you both fall asleep
— She always tells you how much she loves you
— Always vibes with Girl in red songs and sings with it
— Best lesbian couple ever
— It’s just so fucking cute like 🤧💕
— "THEY LOOK SO PRETTY IT HURTS!!"
— "I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT BOYS, I’M TALKING ABOUT GIRLS!!"
— You guys are proud of yourself and doesn’t really care about what others think
— Anyway this is a cuddle hc not a relationship hc jsjsjshd
— Leaving small kisses on the forehead and lips
— She loves playing with your hair and sometimes braids it
— Talks about your cuddles on streams and stuff
— Wattpad users go brrr
— The cuddles are the best and you could never take a no for an answer
— She just loves you and admires you more than anything
Quackity
— If y’all became roommates, he would literally just come into your room and say "Cuddles. Now."
— He would fake cry if you said no
— And would probably never talk to to you until you say yes
— He would never let you go just like Sapnap
— The cuddles can get a little chaotic with his jokes and shit
— But you still love them :]
— He sings to you all the time
— Will tell a few jokes from time to time
— Would blast some music while you’re cuddling
— Conversations like crackheads
— "No I won’t let you go."
— "But I really have to go to the bathroom, Alex!"
— "I don’t care! Just pee on the bed or something."
— Overall, I think he’s actually really nice to you when you both cuddle
— Always covers you in blankets and kisses your forehead when you fall asleep
— Sometimes says something funny in Spanish
— If you understood, you would always look at him weird and silently say "Wtf"
— He can act like a baby sometimes when he gets cuddly
— Plays despacito or señorita and sings along
— You always play with his hair because it’s soft
— Always flexes with your cuddles and saying that no one is better than you
Karl
— This bby is sweet and cute asf bro
— Like literally, he would just ask you like "Can we cuddle? We don’t have to if you’re busy, I just really wanna cuddle with you :)"
— He’s love language is touch we all know that
— And you’ll just respond with a simple "Sure!" and he’ll just spoon you immediately and start cuddling with you
— You both listen to music like Niki while cuddling
— Also styles each other’s hair ‘cause yes
— you guys LOVE talking about different aesthetics and such
— I mean, this man right here is the perfect guy to vibe with
— Just leaves a few kisses here and there, a little bit on the cheeks, a little bit on the lips and forehead!
— Y’all would even do it if it was platonic but not the lips lmao
— Unless 👀
— Anyway he‘ll always let you go whenever you want, though he actually doesn’t want you to leave him
— All I can say is that his cuddles are probably the best
(A/N): I was supposed to make a different headcanon of how it would be like to go on a date with mcyt and finish my Karl x reader oneshot but instead did this 💀 But I might do the headcanon and maybe finish my oneshot in time.
#mcyt#mcyt fanfiction#fanfiction#headcanons#cuddle#cuddle headcanons#fluff#dream#sapnap#nihachu#quackity#karl jacobs#tommyinnit#dreamSMP#mcyt x reader#x reader#y/n
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In the first cold hours of a new December morning, Taylor Swift once again revealed herself to be the primary antagonist in my hero’s journey. Weary and woebegone as I am, I will not waste strength on any attempt to deny that this latest attack has knocked me off balance, but I believe it is important that I—we, really, the lot of us who have been bloodied pitiably beneath this most brutal show of force—rebound immediately into a defensive posture so that there might be any hope at all for survival. Taylor’s second pandemic album will be released at midnight tonight, so I guess Shakespeare and his little “play” about elder abuse can get fucked after all. The album is called evermore. It was hubris, I can see in retrospect, which led me to tempt my enemy by writing all these words about her on this, the week of her birthday, knowing as I do that Taylor is one of those especially dangerous adults who make a big deal about both birthdays and lucky numbers. Icarus is my name now, covered in melted wax and tumbling to the sea. So as to steel ourselves for these horrors yet to come, I offer now, with not arrogance but the faith of the foolhardy, my best conjecture as to the content of each detestable track.
willow - Could be about a tree. Could be about a girl. More likely it is both somehow, which is extremely pervy, and not just because that’s part of the plot of the unspeakably cursed The Raven Cycle novels, which I, a full blown adult with, generally speaking, normal brain function, voluntarily read for the first time this summer because some of us, ma’am, used the pandemic for activities that hurt only ourselves, not others. Well, happy holidays, tree fuckers.
champagne problems - Whatever this is, know that I will be considering it a work after Fall Out Boy’s “Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends” and I’ll be right to do so and many people will say as much admiringly and they’ll smile at me with pride and doff their caps as I go.
gold rush - If this song is anything but a loving, comprehensive summation of the children’s novel DEAR AMERICA Seeds of Hope: The Gold Rush Diary of Susanna Fairchild then I’m going to walk directly out of my home and, deadly virus be damned, keep walking until I’ve entered Taylor Swift’s instead, at which point I will begin to scream out a litany of complaints at the very top of my voice, ceasing only when her security team kills me or we fall in love.
tis the damn season - Worst case scenario this is a sad Christmas song (the best kind of Christmas song) and it devastates me in the most degrading way possible. Best case scenario it’s really bad and dumb and I can live without pain.
tolerate it - Many possibilities here. Could be about white-knuckling it through a period of depression, or a breakup. Most obviously, it could be about COVID-19 lockdowns keeping us trapped in our homes, disconnected from loved ones, going slow-brained and strange, bowls piling up, and suddenly so desperate for human interaction that even memories of having drinks with somebody from Hinge who quoted Friends twice in an hour are tantalizing in comparison to the touch-starved dreamstate of staying indoors... But I kinda feel like this is Taylor replying “COPE” from on high to my tweets about how I would rather be boiled alive than have to face the existence of this record.
no body, no crime (feat. Haim) - What would be very good is if this is a homosexual romp about Taylor Swift and the one hot Haim guitar girl with the really gay energy doing a murder together a la “Somethin’ Bad” by Miranda Lambert with Carrie Underwood, but honestly, it is probably another song about Gone Girl.
happiness - Impossible to speak on this since, thanks to Taylor Swift, happiness is something with which I have no familiarity.
dorothea - Have seen chirping on the odious bird application about how perhaps this song title suggests that Taylor has written a song about Middlemarch, titling it for Dorothea Brooke, but I reject this because it implies that Taylor has read Middlemarch, which is a premise I cannot accept. Whether this refusal is out of self-preservation, being unwilling and in fact unable to face a world where Taylor Swift read and was moved to creation by the novel which was my most essential friend the summer I got dumped by a guy who I still had to work feet away from in a candle factory for another month, and about which Emily Dickinson (Emily Dickinson whose birthday it happens to be today, which isn’t to say that this means anything about anything. I am simply trying to batten down all hatches literally and spiritually in light of having been had once again by this numerology obsessed demon) once wrote "What do I think of Middlemarch? What do I think of glory.” or because I just at my core do not believe that Taylor has read a single book since Gone Girl I couldn’t possibly say.
coney island (feat. The National) : Some ungodly americana ass bullshit that is going to ruin my life. The thought of holy terror shaped like a horse girl Taylor Swift and trickster nymph in the body of a tax accountant Matt Berninger, two individuals I have allowed, separately, to cause me grievous psychic harm, having even the barest amount of one to one contact, even digitally, has made me want to peel all my skin off and put it back on flipped inside out so that I might, when I look in the mirror, see a version of myself which approximates how I feel.
ivy - Another song for the plant lesbians. That’s fine, and I’m happy for that community, but what I want to know, looking at this growing pile of songs named after women, is where, Taylor, is the song about loudmouth queen Inez, legendary gossip and, for my money, the star of folklore?
cowboy like me - Putting it as mildly as humanly possible, to slit my throat would be less cruel. I am drawing a straight line from me writing illegible sequels to perfect film An American Tail: Fievel Goes West (itself a sequel) in crayon as a toddler, to Paula Cole’s “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?” on the radio in my mom’s two door Honda, to me everyday after school in third grade changing into the cowboy costume my godmother bought, to me at fourteen internalizing a sense of righteous indignation that would take years to even begin to outgrow when Crash beat Brokeback Mountain for Best Picture, to the winter I dropped half my classes out of fear and sickness and read paperback westerns on the twenty third floor of the college library for tens of hours at a go, to the profoundly gay episode of Supernatural called “Tombstone” which is, yes, named for the profoundly gay cowboy film Tombstone, to the inspired and revitalizing pause in “Space Cowboy” by Kacey Musgraves where she’s like, “You can have your space........ cowboy”, to Mitski’s Be the Cowboy, to the perfect boygenius cover of certified classic “Cowboy Take Me Away”, to whatever the hell this is going to be.That line is not to make a point at all. It’s just that there is a line and beside it there is me, incapacitated.
long story short - Just like all the other times anyone has ever invoked this phrase in the entire history of human beings expressing themselves with language, it is going to be a huge lie, because this woman never shuts up.
marjorie - After all that Taylor has put me through over the years, she should have at least named one of these wretched things “ellen” after my dead Sagittarian grandmother, whose birthday is tomorrow, December 11th, which is again, the release date of Taylor Swift’s second album in sixth months, but it’s probably for the best that she didn’t because you simpletons would immediately think it was an homage to George Bush’s friend Dory the fish, and therefore gay, regardless of the actual text of the song, and it’d be the “betty” massacre all over again. That being said, this is almost assuredly another horny song about some mid-century white lady. Only days ago Taylor was telling Entertainment Weekly that she’s been watching a lot of movies in quarantine, and while she didn’t name 1958’s Marjorie Morningstar starring Natalie Wood, I wouldn’t put it past her.
closure - God, I hope this one is another Kaylor classic so we can all act like complete raving lunatics online from the confines of our own plague quarters for a few days. It’s been a hard year.
evermore (feat. Bon Iver) - I’ll be catatonic by this point. Who cares?
right where you left me - Yes, in hell.
it’s time to go - Yes, TO HELL.
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