#I know this incorrect quote came from somewhere
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How many TLG Outlander incorrect quotes have I done? Here’s more anyway
Sumu: I know over 200 ways to kill a man
Kuumwa: You could glue an open jar of rats to his face and then blowtorch the other half of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face :)
Sumu: …..201
Alternatively
Kenge: I know over 200 ways to kill a man
Sumu: You could glue an open jar of rats to his face and then blowtorch the other half of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face
Kenge: …..201
Cheezi: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Cheezi and Chungu, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Goigoi: Our turn, Sumu! One, two, three- vanilla!
Sumu, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.
Mzingo: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right
Janja: Looking right because you left
Reirei: Looking up cause you let me down
Kiburi: Looking down cause you fucked up
Jasiri: What is wrong with you guys
Janja: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
Cheezi: What?
Mzingo: That you're a child.
Chungu: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?
Sumu: Can I be frank with you guys?
Goigoi: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Chungu: Can I still be Chungu?
Tamka: Shh, let Frank speak.
Kenge: Why are Shupavu and Njano sitting with their backs to each other?
Sumu: They had a fight.
Kenge: Then why are they holding claws?
Sumu: They get sad when they fight.
Janja: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Chungu: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Cheezi: I got distracted about halfway through.
Nne, as Tano nods: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
(Royal Mjuzi au)
Kiburi: Are we really going to let Nduli keep Mwamba?
Neema: We kept Tamka.
Jasiri: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Mzingo: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Kiburi: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Janja: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Reirei: My moral code, is that you?
Jasiri:
Jasiri: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?
Tamka: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.
Wakali: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Neema: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Nduli: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
Kiburi: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!
Janja: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Reirei: Janja no.
Kiburi: Mistlefoe.
Reirei: Please stop encouraging him.
Ucheshi: If you had to choose between Makuu and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Kiburi: That depends, how much money are we taking about?
Makuu: Kiburi!
Ucheshi: 63 cents.
Kiburi: I'll take the money.
Makuu: KIBURI!!!
Kiburi: I trust Janja.
Reirei: You think he knows what he’s doing?
Kiburi: I wouldn't go that far.
Janja: Don't worry, I got a plan.
Reirei: Alright.
Janja: TraitorSayWhat?
Kiburi: Excuse me?
Janja: What?
Reirei:
Janja:
Janja: No wait-
Goigoi: Reirei, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
Reirei: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later
Goigoi: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask one of the kids.
Chungu: What if mayonnaise came in cans?
Cheezi: That would suck cuz you can’t microwave metal
Janja: Good morning to everyone except these two furbrains
Ucheshi: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.
Makuu: I almost died.
Kiburi: That... was my favorite memory.
Reirei: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.
Janja: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.
*Jasiri walks in*
Janja: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.
Janja: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—
Jasiri: Hi.
Janja: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*
Kiburi: I'm not doing too well.
Pua: What's wrong?
Kiburi: I have this headache that comes and goes.
*Makuu enters the room*
Kiburi: There it is again.
*Kenge and Sumu are planning to break in somewhere*
Sumu: We need to distract the guards.
Kenge: Right.
Sumu: What are we gonna do?
Kenge: I'm going to break their elbows while you poke their eyes.
Sumu:
Kenge:
Sumu: Deal.
Human/Zootopia-esque au: trying to use the family/Kiburi’s computer
Dogo: “Password clue: Favorite child”? Oooh, ah, ouch…sorry, sis. This is awkward *types in their name, but gets denied* What?!
Kijana: Really??? *starts dramatically crying tears of joy* This moment is so much bigger than me! I would like to thank my parents and my manager— *gets denied*
OR
Tamka: “Password clue: Best friend”? Oooh, ah, ouch…sorry, man. This is awkward *types in their name, but gets denied* What?!
Nduli: Really??? *starts dramatically crying tears of joy* This moment is so much bigger than me! I would like to thank my parents and my manager— *gets denied* Aw :(
The Outlanders trying to draw Jasiri:
Janja: I think I made one eye bigger than the other
Mzingo: I was going for a feeling
Reirei, with a perfect drawing: Honestly, I can’t even draw a circle
Kiburi: *shows his picture*
Janja: Okay Kiburi, you just drew yourself
Kiburi: I like me
Jasiri: Dammit, Janja!
Janja: What?! It wasn't me!
Jasiri: Sorry, force of habit.
Dammit, Mzingo!
Mzingo: Not me either.
Jasiri: Oh... Then who set the Outlands on fire?
Njano: *whistles*
Janja: We need to get through this locked door. Reirei, give me your credit card.
Reirei: Here.
Janja, pocketing it: Thanks. Kiburi, kick down the door.
*The group is getting into the car*
Janja: I’m driving.
Cheezi, out of view: Shotgun!
Chungu, turning to face Cheezi: Aww! But you had it on the way here-
Everyone except Cheezi: WOAH-
Cheezi, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*
Fuli: What do you think Bunga will do for a distraction?
Kion: He’ll probably make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Explosions and several car alarms go off*
Kion:....Or he could do that.
Goigoi: And now it’s time for... WHAT’S. IN. TAMKA’S MOUTH?
Never try this game. Ever
Tamka: Agahhhagg
Nduli: oh oh oh! It’s those napkins from that one chicken wing place!
Tamka: Uh uh
Chungu: Oh! It’s the entire country of China!
Tamka: *spits the thing out* No! It’s a piece of dental cotton!
Cheezi: From five weeks ago?
Tamka: Uh huh!
Cheezi: And now it’s time for Janja’s poetry beat
Janja: Eh, I don’t wanna
Chungu: But it’s your thing!
Janja: No, it’s not!
Cheezi: Yeah, it is. That’s why it’s called “Janja’s”, emphasis on “Janja’s” poetry beat!
Janja: Why don’t one of you do it this time?
Chungu: You don’t like my poetry!
Janja: Sure, I do! Come on
Chungu: Okay.
I sat down on the ground today
Baobab ball I was to play
But instead of rolling north or south
How’d it end up in my mouth?
Janja: You’re right. That sucked
Chungu: Will Shakespeare my butt
Kiburi: (on one line) Hello?
Tamka (on the other line): Hey, what’s up?
Kiburi: I need a little help, can you come over?
Tamka: I can’t. I’m buying clothes
Kiburi: Alright, well hurry up and come over here
Tamka: I can’t find ‘em...
Kiburi: What do you mean you can’t find them?
Tamka: I can’t find them, there’s only soup
Kiburi: ...What do you mean “There’s only soup”
Tamka: It means there’s only soup
Kiburi:Well, then get out of the soup isle!
Tamka: Okay! You don’t have to shout at me! (walks into another isle) There’s more soup
Kiburi: What do you mean there’s more soup?!
Tamka: It means there’s just more soup
Kiburi: Go into the next isle
Tamka: (goes into the next isle) There’s still soup!
Kiburi: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!
Tamka: I’M AT SOUP!
Kiburi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE “AT SOUP”?!?!
Tamka: I MEAN I’M AT SOUP!
Kiburi: WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?!
Tamka: I’M AT THE SOUP STORE!!
Kiburi: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!?!?!
Tamka: FUCK YOU!!!!!
Kenge: I’m not worried about silly things like labels. Animals can call me whatever they want. They could even call me little…..
Kenge: NEVER CALL ME LITTLE!!!!!
(Nduli leans in towards a sleeping Tamka)
Nduli: Tamka..Tamka...Tam-zebra.
Tamka: (wakes up) Gimme the leg! I want the leg!
Makuu and Ucheshi: (staring into each other’s eyes)
Kiburi: (rips the leg off of a kill)
Makuu: We’re having a moment
Kiburi: I’m having a snack
Goigoi: The good news is I named my nickel “Phillip!”
Janja: What’s the bad news?
Goigoi: It’s a girl nickel! :D
Janja: YOU BET ME FOR A NICKEL?!
Cheezi: But it was a shiny nickel!
(Hodari saves Njano’s life)
Njano: Bro... 🥺
Hodari: Bro... 🥺
Kenge: Can you guys stop making out and go get the chimps?!
Neema: [Could I give Tamka a -2?]
Tamka: For what?
Neema: [Just for being you]
Jasiri: You assaulted a 94-year old animal!
Kenge: He sassed me
Mzingo: Ooh, you have some pie! Would you mind if I have a piece?
Janja: Uh, sure. (gives Mzingo a piece of pie)
Mzingo: Can you pass the cool hwhip?
Janja: What’d you say?
Mzingo: You can’t have a pie without cool hwhip!
J Cool hwhip?
M: Cool hwhip, yeah
J: You mean cool whip
M: Yeah, cool hwhip
J: Cool whip
M: Cool hwhip
J: Cool WHip
M: Cool hwhip
J: You’re saying it weird! Why’re you putting so much emphasis on the h?
M: What are you talking about? I’m just saying cool hwhip! You put cool hwhip on pie. Pie tastes better with cool hwhip
J: Say “whip”
M: Whip
J: Now say “cool whip”
M: Cool hwhip
J: Cool WHIP
M: Cool hwhip
J: COOL WHIP
M: Cool hwhip
Janja: YOU’RE EATING FUR!
Actor AU: Deleted scene with Scar and Jasiri
Director: Action!
Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?
Jasiri: No…
Scar: Do I look. Stupid. To you?
Jasiri: *starts laughing* I’m sorry 😂😂
(Cut to next take)
Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?
Jasiri: *starts wheezing* I’m sorry! *recomposes herself* I got it. No no, just do it again. I’m fine
(Cut to next take)
Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?
Jasiri: *pointing* YES! *laughs*
Scar: This is the fifteenth take, I cannot work like this. I will be in my trailer…
Jasiri: I need a break
#damn long post#i have too many quotes that fit them dndbbdgd#a lot of these work in a zootopia/human au#i don’t think the outlanders are okay-#i had to do something with the actor au it was too fun#i don’t talk about mzingo too much so i wanted to include him more#tlg outlanders#the lion guard
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#I know this incorrect quote came from somewhere#I just don’t remember where#six of crows#jesper fahey#kaz brekker#grishaverse#shadow and bone#shadow and bone netflix#six of crows netflix#kazzle dazzle#six of crows memes#six of crows incorrect quotes
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Tadano: Aah, here it’s beautiful.
Tadano: …and quiet.
Tadano: Too quiet.
(cut to Nakanaka and Makeru fighting a bear)
(Source: Unknown)
#tadano hitohito#nakanaka omoharu#yadano makeru#(that's the competitive girl)#incorrect quotes#komi san can't communicate#incorrect komi quotes#I know this came from somewhere but Google failed to find anything except other Incorrect Quotes blogs
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WHB Incorrect quotes#17 Prolonged eye contact
In the human world,A children park in fact near Minhyeok and Your House,Two Demons hiding in the bushes spot Ppyong playing with other Human toddlers...
Sitri*Beside Satan with candy at hand*Sir...It feels like we are predators-
Satan*Grinding his teeth to shut him up*Sitri that is my son i cant be a predator...just gotta nab him before the humans notice...
See...It was Usually Minhyeok who came to the park to play with Ppyong...which earned him the rep of a hot young dad among the mothers and nannies, But given he had a test coming up you took over today, So when you see...two weird looking guys holding some red candy to ppyong...
Y/n*Makes Eye contact with them*...
Satan*Prolonged eye-contact*...GRAB HIM-
Both demons grab Ppyong and run...with a deranged angry human on their tails...
Sitri*Who Is gunning it and looking back to see your hot on his ass cursing at them, Normally He would find this EXTREMELY HOT but demons know better then anyone never to take a child from the "parent"*SIR SIR I THINK THE HUMAN IMPRINTED ON PPYONG!!! And Ppyong accepted their affection-W-we should probably Give him to them! they're his parent?!
Satan*is tossing anything down their path to slow you down...which fails* How do I know they're his parent!?
Sitri: What do you want a-birth certificate?! They made a pact!
Satan: Well, we put in the blood, sweat, and tears to raise him
Sitri: For a day! AND THEN YOU LOST HIM AND HE CAME TO THE HUMAN WORLD UNDER YOUR "SUPERVISION"-Give him back, you lunatic!?!
Satan*Standing protectively in front of Sitri and baby Ppyong, looking you square in the eyes*- Look! This is MY son, and you're gonna have to go through us to get him!?!
Y/n*Growling under your breath looking at him*...
Satan & Sitri's screams could be heard from hell to heaven-
How Mc was chasing Satan & Sitri like Chantel dubois chasing the animals-
Part 3 of:
#what in hell is bad#what in hell is bad x reader#whb#whb x reader#whb x mc#whb satan#whb sitri#whb ppyong#whb minhyeok#baby ppyong#demon baby in earth au#whb satan x reader#whb satan x mc#whb sitri x reader#whb minhyeok x reader#whb fluff#whb incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes
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Incorrect Quotes of the Kingdom Pt. 2
Link: I'm never donating blood again. The second you walk through the door, it’s just one invasive question after another! ‘Where did you get it?’ 'Why is it in a bucket?’ I mean... do you want it or not?
——————
Revali: Any idiot would know that.
Link: I knew that!
Revali: See?
——————
Revali: Could you be any more annoying?
Link: Definitely.
——————
Purah: Ew, what kind of tea is this?
Link *sipping tea cup with pinky in the air*: I boiled Gatorade.
——————
Link: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.
——————
Tulin: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this?
Riju: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.
——————
Zelda: What are you two arguing about this time?
Purah: They're always using common phrases incorrectly!
Link: Cry me a table.
——————
Link: Fight me!
Ganondorf: Ha, look at your size! What are you gonna do, kick my ankle?
*Later*
Ghost Sonia: Why is Ganondorf crying?
Ghost Rauru: Link kicked them really hard in the ankle.
——————
Zelda: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avocados get six.
Link *coming back from the store with six cartons of milk*: They had avacados!
——————
Link: Rauru, I screwed up big time.
Rauru: Link, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.
——————
Link: *About to do something incredibly stupid*
The sages: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.
——————
Sonia: I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I have quite possibly been bamboozled.
——————
Purah: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it.
Link: ... I was hungry.
——————
Sonia: Not gonna lie, I'm kind of afraid of Link...
Rauru: As you should be.
Sonia: No, for real. They're kind of-
Rauru: As. You. Should. Be.
——————
Ganondorf: Life is like Link. It's short.
——————
Link: Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.
Yunobo: I think you mean cards.
Tulin: He did not.
Link *pulling out knives*: I did not.
——————
Link: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math.
——————
Link: Like they say, "If you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs."
——————
Purah: When will Ted himself...finally show up to the talk?
Tulin: The final boss.
Riju: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right?
Link: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer!
——————
Link: Yum, thanks!
Ganondorf *puts more tape over Link's mouth*: I said, stop eating it.
——————
Purah: Didn't you die?!
Link: That was weeks ago. Things change.
——————
Purah: Wake me up...
Tulin: Before ya go go
Zelda: When September ends
Link: WAKE ME UP INSIDE
——————
Sidon: What if mayonnaise came in cans?
Link: That would suck because you can't microwave metal.
Riju: Good morning to everyone except these two people.
——————
Ganondorf: I've been expecting you, Link.
Link: How did you do that without turning around?
Ganondorf: Let's just say the first few people I did that to were not you.
#def not a way of coping with no TotK DLC#Revali is just here because I like to imagine if Link talked the two of them would have excellent banter#I think Riju would act like she was done with shenanigans while secretly enjoying them. But also feeling like she has to be the mature one#loz link#totk#zelda totk#loz#totk sonia#totk link#link#tears of the kindom#queen sonia#rauru#zelda#loz purah#ganondorf#totk riju#riju#revali#legend of zelda#yunobo#tulin#totk tulin#loz sidon
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incorrect chb camper quotes but it's actually just my sister's quotebook from Twitter
Disclaimer: This post is gonna be LONG AF
Percy: "Ahh, die quieter"
Clarisse to Silena: "Do I look majestic?"
Will: "I live in America. Cultures?... casserole"
Nico: "At-home lobotomy"
Baby Nico to Clarisse: "You look like Harry Potter, You just need a scar black hair, different clothes, and to be a boy. "
Annabeth:"I don't know if I have enough sanity for 2 Holy books"
Leo: "I've seen titties before....not really in person, but yk"
Annabeth: "Do you have ears?"
Jason: "I kinda wanna work at Taco Bell"
Piper: "I've never been passive-aggressive in my life"
Will to Apollo: "There's no batteries in my butt Dad I'm not a robot"
Clarisse: "I'm not upset I don't hold grudges"
Ares to Clarisse: "I don't like your clothes it forces me to look at you"
Frank to Leo: "It's not 'drip' it's stupid"
Travis to the whole Hermes Cabin: "I'm the Rizzington bear... like Paddington bear but Rizz" (after his 1st date with Katie)
Nico: "I love Olive Garden, I wish Italians were real"
Rachel: "Come on, you guys stop trying to cockblock the view"
Katie: "If people can smoke weed in the middle of the day, then I can drink chamomile tea"
Rachel: "You don't want to piss me off I'm witewally a werewolf"
Piper about Jason: "All my friends are boys, and one just died... he would have made a great bridesmaid"
Frank: "I was doing a silly but the funny didn’t land"
Jason: "Why am I white"
Rachel: "I am not a whore, I am a celibate queen!"
Drew: "It's not the fashion statement that you think it is"
Nico about the Ares Cabin: "They're gonna call you a slur, but they're gonna be really nice about it"
Piper to Annabeth: "If we both think it, it's not bitchy"
Grover: "I'm just gonna write a paragraph or two about global warming"
Annabeth"I have like a 7th-grade reading level!!! (this is impressive when you're dyslexic)
Jason: "Dude I love yoga"
Will: "They say that Utah is the promise land"
Kayla: *explains what a text-fic is to grandparents (Apollo)*
Clarisse: "Put that on your Twitter!" *points knife at me*
Travis: "Do you eat?"
Katie: "...um yes?"
Travis: "Oh, I mean do you want to eat." (when he asked Katie out the first time)
Hazel: "That's not gonna change my heart. That's just gonna make me cry!"
Alabaster: "I wanna find someone somewhere to impregnate and then steal the baby......Where's your Twitter, that was kinda funny"
Percy about Leo: "I would spoon that man so hard"
Frank: "The closer I get to nature, the closer I get to being a werewolf"
Apollo: "I feel like Jaba the Hut"
Rachel: "It's because you ate girl dinner"
Apollo (same convo^)"I fell asleep, and I woke up, and I ate a girl dinner, and I didn't feel that good"
Percy: Don't mind me just cleaning the ocean" *hand angrily on hip*
Will to the Stolls: "Although my bellybutton was once my mouth I don't want soda in it!!"
Connor: "Look at how majestic I am"
Clarisse: *gasps* *throws uno cards* "This is communism at its finest, and I hate your life." *Is losing* "All I'm doing is humoring you now. There is no reason for me to play anymore." *throws cards* *again*
Nico: *passes out*
Will: "We need to take you to the doctor like right now."
Nico: "No fireworks are more important than my health"
Leo about Percy: "That's a pretty boy right there... if we were in prison, it's over."
Kayla when Will came out to her: "Slay motherfucker"
Annabeth: "I hope to not run over any old ladies...old men are fair game tho."
Percy: "Main characters get bullied, Jesus....yep!"
Leo: "What if I was an astronaut!!!!"
Travis: "Banana, Banana, Meatball"
Clarisse: "I am going to break your toe shut the hell up"
Katie to Connor: "I hope you get bullied in high school."
Clarisse about Leo: "This guy's a fuckin goober"
Clarisse: "What did you do to your sweatshirt? Did you get hungry?"-Grover: *sighs*
Nyssa (Hephaestus kid) to Leo: "Dont hurt me. I'm Batman!.... You better not tweet that"
Kayla to Apollo: "It's called multi-tasking Apollo! "
Apollo: "It's mother to you"
Clarisse: "I could fight God and win"
Percy: "So you wanna fight rn"
Clarisse: "No, I'm good"
Jason; "You look gang"
Leo: "What? I look gay!?!?!"
Jason: "You look straight, but nice"
Leo: "Oh... thanks!"
Apollo to Rachel"Lie, deny, cry, and for good measure be a raging slut."
Silena: "There's all kinds of nature out here"
Katie: "Live, laugh, love, low iron"
Annabeth to Piper: "Keep backing up...Cuz you have a fear of commitment
Lou Ellen to Katie: "Does your knee affect your shoe size... or are your feet just that small??"
Travis: "The amount of testosterone in me, peanuts are allergic to me!"
Leo: "I'm cracked up on feeling sexy"
Connor to the whole Hermes Cabin: "The "10" of us? our parents sp*rm pets"
Apollo about Athena: "OH gods, a single mom"
Apollo about Kayla's dad: "I cheated on myself with a man"
Malcolm about Athena: "She's a mom boogie woogie woogie"
Nico: "I cried at Chick-fil-A the other day"
Nico: "Live, laugh, lobotomy."
Drew about Thalia: "She has no friends and a dead brother."
Katie: "I wrote fanfiction on my i-pod touch"
Lacy to Leo: "Was it a tech? or was it a human?"
Will: "Live, laugh, love, tampons"
Kayla: "Die, cry, hate, condoms"
Aphrodite to Clarisse: "Do you like being a girl? You just always wear pants"
Percy: "Chill I know how to make conversations I have Rizz"
Will: "What! no! cow!"
Frank: "Fvcking knock it off seriously you guys are acting like children!!"
Travis to Lou Ellen: "Yesss pussy-pop you slayed"
Ashlyn (Hermes kid): "Chick-fil-A is mid, Taco bell is where it's at"
Percy during tlt: "You couldn't even buy a gumball with that shit (drachmas)"
Percy (same convo ^): "A quarter? You could buy a gumball with that shit"
Nico: "Your soul and your money!"
Tyson: "You've seen fishes, fishes move fast"
Leo to Frank: "What the fvck is a kilometer"
Leo making fun of Frank: "Mua ha ha ha I'm Canadian"
Percy: "Jesus didn't give up his life he gave up his weekend"
*as seen at 2am in the Apollo Cabin*
Gracie: "You're discriminating against me"
April (the token straight): "It's cuz she's gay"
Will: "We're all gay."
Nico: You don't have any slurs about you."
Leo: "No because I'm perfect"
this was fun to make lol....there will probably be a part 2 but like far in the future. if you made it this far I love you....also if you don't recognize names it's bc I deep-dived Wiki to find canon names for each cabin.
If y'all want one-shots based on these TELL ME I NEED STUFF TO WRITE ABOUT
#percabeth#percy jackon and the olympians#percy and annabeth#annabeth chase#percy jackson#camp half blood#hazel pjo#nico di angelo#travis stoll#connor stoll#tratie#katie gardner#lou ellen blackstone#will solace#jason grace#lacy pjo#leo valdez#frank zhang#drew tanaka#heros of olympus#hermes cabin#rachel elizabeth dare#rachel x connor#twitter#incorrect quotes#piper mclean#trails of apollo#riordanverse#rick riordan#hazel levesque
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Just The Nurse
Series Warnings: Language, Drug abuse, mentions of abuse, mentions of drugs. Colonel not liking the reader, probably some medical terms are incorrect, mentions of Elvis' potential death, health terms, health issues, yelling, fighting. Spelling and grammatical errors are likely. Individual chapter warnings will appear as needed.
Masterlist | Previous Part | Next Part
Chapter 2: Slow Progress
"Just let me cut your hair, it's not the end of the world." You snarked back at Elvis, who was by means making sure you didn't reach his hair with scissors in your hand.
"Ya ain't comin' near me with those damn scissors," Elvis shook his head. You let out a sigh and placed your hands on your hips.
"The best way to become healthy, is to look clean." You stated. You knew it sounded a bit silly... but usually, if you didn't look well-groomed... you were preserved as unhealthy... disgusting really.
"That don' make sense." He shook his head.
"That's beside the point. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere... and I quote," you clear your throat, "Presley had become a grotesque caricature of his sleek, energetic former self. Grossly overweight, his mind dulled by the pharmacopeia he daily ingested, he was barely able to pull himself through his abbreviated concerts."
"How do you know that?" He looked at you confused.
"My sister," you shrugged, "now let me cut your hair." You took a large step towards Elvis. In return, Elvis took a much larger step further away from you.
"Get da fuck away from me women." He held his hand up.
"It's not like I'm shaving you bald!" You pointed out loudly.
"It minus well be!" He argued back. You let out a frustrated breath. It's been like this for well be an hour now. He refused to let you near him.
"Just let me cut it!"
"Fuck no!"
"Stop being a baby, let me cut it!" The two of you just kept going back and forth. It had to be when you made him breakfast that it first came up. He immediately disagreed but being the person you are... well... you pushed... and now here you are.
"I rather die," you sucked in a heavy breath and pointed the scissors at him.
"You're being ridiculous, one haircut isn't going to kill you." You remarked back.
"Yes, it will."
"It looks like you have two fucking mice next to your ears!" You angrily said. You were getting fed up with all this really.
"They're my sideburns!" He tried to argue back. They were long gone from sideburns though.
"Sideburns my ass! They look like they're growing from your ears!" You laughed ever so slightly through the yells. You knew all the workers could hear you, but neither one of you cared. They still had no clue as to why you were there... but they knew not to ask about it.
"You're just jealous."
"Of what? Your ugliness?" You smirked ever so gently.
"You're one to talk." He hit back. Usually, a comment like that would hurt, but after him calling you ugly multiple times didn't affect you. You took them as compliments because he was so blinded by the beauty in front of him. Yes, you were indeed being that self-centered right now. If he could, you could.
"Just let me fucking cut it!"
"No!"
"Fine!" You huffed and folded your arms. Elvis let out a sigh of relief and turned his back on you. That was a huge mistake. You made your way over to him and jumped up on him.
"Get off me!" Elvis tried to throw you off him but it failed miserably.
"Must be all that grease in you," you stuck your tongue out and grabbed some of his hair. He was quick to move his head, and even quicker to flip you around. You looked into his ice cold eyes.
"You're not touchin' my goddamn hair." He said and placed you back down on the ground. You rolled your eyes.
"I just wanted to trim it," you uttered out.
"I don' fuckin' care what you were going to do-"
"Miss, Y/l/n, there's someone on the phone for you." One of the ladies said. You nodded and started to walk away but turned to face him. You one again pointed your scissors at him.
"This isn't finished." You said and walked over to the phone. You picked it up and held it against your ear. You leaned gently against the wall.
"Yes?" You spoke softly.
"Y/n!" Your sister squealed. Your eyes widened. How did she get this number?
"What are you doing, Mary? You know not to call this number unless I call you." You placed the scissors down on the table.
"It's Arthur," she then said. You felt your heart drop. This conversation could go two different ways and god... you hoped it was the good one.
"Wh-what about him?" You asked. Elvis peered around the corner and spotted you near the phone. Leaned up against the wall. He couldn't see your face, but he could tell from your voice that something was wrong.
"He woke up," Mary said simply. You froze and felt your breathing spiked. While it was the news you wanted to hear... it still scared you.
"He- wait... he? He woke up?" You spoke in disbelief. You felt like you were dreaming really. Arthur had been in a coma for... years at this point. He missed a lot of your family achievements, especially your little brother growing up.
"Yeah, Mom and dad are at the hospital now. Can you take Andrew and me?" She asked. You bit the inside of your cheek. God, you wanted to say yes... you really did.
"I- I'm working, Mary... I-I can't exactly leave. Not to mention I don't have a car." You explained to her.
"Can't you get Elvis to bring us?" She asked. You let out a breath, somehow you knew she was going to ask that. Even past her having a huge crush on the boy...
"He can't-" you paused and quiet down, "There is no way Elvis would take us. He and I don't even get on good enough terms as it is."
"It's Arthur though. We need to see him." You frowned slightly and closed your eyes.
"Mary..." You breathed out.
"I can take you," you heard a voice behind you. You turned quickly and spotted Elvis looking at you. Was he listening to you the whole time? You narrowed his eyes, there had to be a catch. There was no way he would take you out of kindness.
"What's the catch?" You moved the phone away from your mouth. You didn't want your sister to hear you with her idol.
"You don't cut my hair." You sucked in a breath. You knew that was coming up, but you had to take him up on his offer. You had to go see Arthur, your siblings had to go see him. You let out a breath and held the phone against your ear once more.
"We'll be there soon." You went and hung up before your sister could answer. You looked over at Elvis.
"Fine, but this isn't the end of your hair." You held a finger up.
"That wasn't part of the plan." He stated. You let out a sigh and shook your head.
"Fine, just please." You sounded desperate. You remember going to the hospital countless times hoping he'd wake up... and now he finally was.
"Come on then," he said and started to head outside.
"Wait- Jesus Christ." You let out a breath and went to grab your cover up from the couch before following him out. You had to rush to keep up with his long longs. It wasn't long until you got into his Stutz Blackhawk. That's when the mind crossed you that his fans were about to see you, probably even the paparazzi.
"Ya gotta tell me where I'm goin'," he looked over at you.
"Oh right... right... uh, Humber Street." You told him. He nodded and started to drive.
It felt like yesterday that you were arriving at Graceland. Granted it was two weeks ago... but it still felt new... and it held that same fear every time. Maybe it was still fresh because hundreds were about to see you, and assumed that you were Elvis' new fling. His new girlfriend. You didn't want that to get out. Especially with your sister.
It didn't take long until you were at your family's housing unit. You told Elvis to wait in the car and you rushed up with the spare keys you had. As you entered the building you already saw your sister and brother waiting in the living room. When you saw them your heart broke. It was clear that your sister had been crying. You walked over to them and pulled your sister into a hug.
"Let's get going, yeah?" You said softly. Your sister nodded and pulled away. You grabbed hold of your younger brother's hand and looked at Mary.
"Do you have everything?"
"Yes," she nodded and looked down the hallway toward Arthur's door. The door was closed and it's always said that way. No one went in... No one even dared to look. We all hoped it would soon be opened once more.
"Listen, I don't want you freaking out." You said to your sister as the three of you made your out of the complex.
"I can't promise that." She shook her head.
"Yes, you will. You are not going to mention that you're a fan. You say hi and say thank you, and that's it. You got that?" Mary frowned and nodded. You kept a hand on your brothers as you two got outside.
"Oh my god-" Mary breathed out as she spotted the car, and then Elvis inside of it.
"Cool it, Mary," you warned her. She whined gently. She was meeting her idol and she couldn't do anything but say hi and thank you. As you got to the car, you held up your chair so that your siblings could get situated in the back. once they were in and situated you got back into the front and closed the door.
You looked over at Elvis and sent him a warning look. You didn't want him talking to your siblings, especially your sister. You were sure he could pinpoint who was a fan and who wasn't. It was all over Mary that she loved the man. He looked at you confused but just shrugged it off. You told him where to go and you guys got going.
The drive was silent for the most part. Your sister would occasionally ask questions, but you didn't answer all of them. You didn't want Elvis learning any more about you than what he just had. Your brother was just as quiet as Elvis was. Even though he did try to converse with your sister, you quickly canceled it out.
When you arrived at the front doors of the hospital you got out and helped your siblings out. Mary and Andrew stood by waiting for you as you turned towards Elvis.
"You're not going to leave right...?" You asked. He didn't answer right away, which let you know that he was thinking about it. You weren't exactly hurt... but... part of you was.
"No, I won'." He spoke after so long. You nodded and closed the door but paused again. You looked towards him through the window.
"Thank you, Elvis... really I mean it. I won't be long I promise." You said and closed the door. You grabbed your brother's hand and walked in.
Elvis watched as you walked away. There was something about seeing you hold your younger brother's hand. It reminded him of how he hadn't seen Lisa Marie in a long time. He was a shitty father... not all of the time... but... he should see his daughter more often than he does. Part of him wanted you to have his kid. That was crazy to think... Elvis shook his head and drove away from the front doors.
The three of you made your way up to where your brother was situated. You knew the walk by now. You knew the numbers that surrounded his room. You knew where the bathrooms were, where the water fountains were. Everything was so familiar to you. As you approached the room you heard his voice as clear as day... well, it was raspy and cracking... but it was still his.
Mary pushed over the door and you saw Arthur sitting up. For once he looked alive. He wasn't as pale as he usually was. The blinds were opened... it felt like a completely different scene. Andrew let go of your hand and went over to your parents. Arthur smiled and turned his head. He spotted you and frowned. Your eyes immediately started to tear up.
You walked over to him and fell into his hug. He was only a couple of years older than you, but he taught you everything. He would beat up the guys that tried to take advantage of you. He was your idol really... well... he was until he got into drugs... into your medications.
"I'm sorry," he spoke softly. You let out a sob and shook your head.
"No, I'm sorry." You pulled away and looked at him. He let out a stifled laugh and shook his own head in return.
"Well look at ya. So grown up. What're doing now?" He asked.
"I'm working for Elvis." You replied.
"Oh, so she'll struggle to tell us but not Arthu- ow!" You heard your sister mumble from behind you.
"No shit, yeah?" He chuckled light. "You married yet?"
"God no," you shook your head, "wouldn't get married without you being there." He smiled at this.
"Well, I highly expect to be your maid of honor." You chuckled lightly and wiped away some of the few tears that had fallen.
"Always," you said gently.
"How'd you get here, anyways?" Your father asked.
"Elvis took us. I can't stay for long. In fact, I should be going." You spoke sadly. You didn't want to leave, but you couldn't leave Elvis to be in the car by himself. Your father raised an eyebrow at this.
"You can't stay?" Arthur asked.
"No... but I'll try and visit every chance I get. Once you're out we'll hang out. I'll call. The whole thing." You said with a smile. Arthur nodded and returned your smile. You gave him one last hug.
"I love you."
"I love ya too, rat." You chuckled at his nickname for you and pulled away. You gave your family much-needed hugs and you were soon walking out of the hospital. When you got outside your eyes searched the parking lot. It couldn't be that hard to find him. He was the only few people to have that type of car. It was more or less trying to pick it out from the many black cars in the lot.
Elvis hadn't stopped looking at the front doors since you disappeared behind them. Sure, he could drive up there and be nice... or he could watch you freak out trying to find where he was parked. It was a tough decision to pick between. After watching you start to freak out and start walking away, he then decided it was best to pick you up.
You heard the rev of an engine behind you and turned. You spotted that snarky bitch and rolled your eyes. You weren't even sure if you wanted to get in. At this point, you rather walk all the way back to Graceland and let all the fans see you.
"Come on, get in," you heard Elvis speak up. You just shook your head in response.
"I ain't getting in that car with you."
"Now, who's actin' like a child, huh? Get in." He was right. You were starting to act like a child. You let out a breath and turned around. You got into the car and let out a huff. You might've been annoyed, but it was clear that you felt relaxed and happy.
"You seem happy," Elvis spoke after he pulled out of the hospital lot.
"Is that a bad thing?" You questioned.
"No... no it ain'," he shook his head and spoke softly. The rest of the drive back to Graceland was quiet. It wasn't as painful as before... it was nice. For once, Elvis wasn't bad company. Maybe it wasn't because he didn't speak, but... it was nice for once. Once you arrived back at Graceland you got out and started to head inside. Elvis followed behind you.
"Mr. Presley," one of the girls bowed to him, "The Colonel is here."
"Shit," Elvis muttered and rubbed his face.
"And Mr. Nic as well." She mentioned.
"Shit," you muttered next.
"Right, where is he then?" Elvis asked as he closed the door. You could feel how close he was to you. You weren't uncomfortable... just... you didn't know how to feel.
"In your office. I-I couldn't stop him-"
"He knows damn well not to go up there." Elvis grew angry. He grabbed your hand and pulled you up the stairs. You gasped a little from the rough intake but you followed after him. It felt weird going upstairs. You were only up there once before to make sure he had no pill bottles in his bathroom, but that was about it.
"Ah, there's my boy." The colonel said as Elvis came into view. They hadn't acknowledged you yet, due to being behind Elvis.
"What do you want?" Elvis asked.
"Well, Dr. Nic is just a bit concerned is all. You haven't come to him in a while." The Colonel pointed out. It's been two weeks and they feel as if it's been years.
"I'm perfectly fine," Elvis responded. He felt uncomfortable with both of them being here. He could've let go of your hand ages ago... but he kept holding on... like you were his lifeline.
"Are you sure? You look a bit stressed there. I think I have-"
"N-No!" You spoke up and pushed yourself past Elvis. He gripped your hand as a warning.
"You're not giving that man any more drugs." You spoke confidently. You didn't know what came over you really.
"And who exactly are you, little thing?" The Colonel asked. His grip was strong on his walking stick or whatever it was called. You didn't really care, he was trying to be imitating... and quite frankly it was not working.
"Little thing?" You were a bit offended really. You weren't that short... were you? You shook the thought out of your head. "Mr. Presley is no longer accepting anything you give him."
"And who gives you the right to say what he can and can't take?" Dr. Nic asked you. You let out a breath and tried your best to think of something. You could say Vernon sure... he did give you that responsibility, but you had a feeling they wouldn't exactly buy that or even care.
"I do," Elvis spoke from behind you. "I want you both out of my house immediately."
"Son-"
"Don't call me son, just get out." Elvis shook his head. The Colonel looked over at Dr. Nic and nodded. It was like an unspoken promise. You knew they were up to something and you felt it was bad. Dr. Nic closed up his bag and stood up.
"We apologize for barging in... we were just worried is all." The colonel said and started to walk past you and Elvis. The colonel and Dr. Nic both gave you an unpleasant look. They weren't the biggest fans of you entering Elvis' life.
You listened as they both made their way downstairs. You played a close ear as you waited for the front door to open and close. You let out a breath. If that was you just meeting him you could only imagine what it would be like when they're trying to shove drugs his way.
"You can cut my hair." You turned at that and looked at him.
"Really? Like, you ain't pulling my tail?"
"Don' make me regret it now," he replied and pulled you along towards his bathroom. You smiled happily. Maybe you and Elvis were finally about to get along. As you got into the bathroom Elvis took a seat on one of the stools in there. You searched for the scissors on the counter and picked them up.
"Don't move too much, unless you want a bald spot." You half-joked, but you were very much serious.
You stood close to him as you started to trim up his hair. He kept his eyes on you, very intently and very closely. He would occasionally look in the mirror to see what you were doing. Most importantly, he was lost in your chest. It wasn't his fault. His face just happened to be eye level with your cleavage.
"You do realize ya boobs are right in my face," Elvis commented. You took a step back and looked at him.
"I'm surprised your complaining." You moved away from him so that he could no longer look at your cleavage. You moved to be behind him so that you could get his backside.
"I wasn', just lettin' you know." He responded back.
"Mhm, sure. Look down." You said and gently pushed his head down. He muttered something under his breath that you couldn't understand but you shrugged it off.
You were slowly but surely started to feel insecure. Maybe you were wearing a bit of a too revealing outfit, but you were told to not look like a nurse. So, you brought your normal clothes. You wore an whole denim jumpsuit that hug your curves, and well... it did show off your cleavage. Maybe you should've kept your cover-up on.
"Hang on, don't move." You said and moved over to his room where you dropped your cover up. You pulled on the white thin piece and covered yourself up. You walked back into the bathroom and noticed Elvis was looking at you. He gave you a confused look.
"Ya scared I'm gonna do somethin'?"
"No no," you shook your head. "Just... just got cold is all." You lied and went back to working on his hair.
Elvis has learned over the years to know when people were lying to him. So it was clear to him that you were lying. He could've easily guessed that it was due to you being insecure. That wasn't his intention at all. He thought he was doing you a solid... turns out he just made you feel bad about yourself.
You placed the scissors down for a bit and ran your fingers through his hair trying to make sure you got everywhere you needed to trim. You took a step back to get a better look and bit your bottom lip. You picked up the scissors and trimmed of a few small bits.
"I'm trimming your sideburns now. Don't move... or I will cut your ear." You told her.
"Wouldn' want that now," he said softly with a chuckle. You smiled softly and got to work. You were once again close to him, but Elvis was careful. He didn't want you to feel anymore insecure so he looked towards the window.
You finished a bit afterwards and admired your work. He was looking much more handsome now. The clean cut... It could send girls wild... well even more wild.
"Have a look," you said and pulled away from him. He stood up and looked himself in the mirror. He ran his hands through his hair and smiled softly.
"Not that bad." He said as he continued to check out every possible inch of hair.
"I would say you look handsome for once." You smiled. He looked at you shocked.
"What happened to you findin' me ugly?" He smirked gently.
"Oh you're still ugly." You chuckled lightly as you joked.
"Damn, I should send complain to my hairdresser." You gasped and grabbed hold of your heart.
"I did a damn good job. You'll have girls screaming over your hair." You commented and started to look for a dust pan to clean up. Elvis watched you through the mirror. He wasn't starting to feel things for you, right? He didn't want to. After finding the dust pan you started to clean up the black pieces of hair on the floor. You tossed the loose pieces into the trash can and looked over at him.
"I can get started on lunch if you'd like?" You suggested. He nodded slightly.
"Yeah... That sounds good."
"Everything all right?" You asked after getting the sense that he wasn't.
"Yeah just, thinkin' is all," Elvis responded. You nodded and stepped out of the room. You made your way downstairs and headed towards the kitchen where you heard some of the girls gossiping.
"I saw them holding hands." One girl said. You paused in your step. You knew it was bad to eavesdrop but you were curious.
"I saw that two, and then next thing you know the colonel and Dr. Nic are walking out." Another girl said.
"I asked her why she was here and she said for Vernon. If that's the case, why is she staying here? And hanging around, Elvis. It doesn't make sense." You noticed this girls voice. She had to be the girl who helped you on your first day.
"You don't think they're in a relationship do you? I've seen a lot of girls come up in here but... she's something else... and not for a good reason." You sucked in a breath and shook your head. You couldn't let these girls get to you. You weren't even in a relationship with Elvis... These comments shouldn't hurt.
"She dresses weird also,"
"Did you see what she was wearing today? She basically had her boobs out."
"She was probably begging for Elvis to notice and fuck her."
"I tried sneaking into her room the other day, but then someone came in. She's got to be hiding something."
"I mean yeah, there's no way she's just here to help Vernon. If that was the case she would be staying at his house."
"What if she's here to... I don't know... kill him." You felt your breathing hitch. You took a step back towards the front door. You heard the sound of jewelry and heavy footsteps making their way downstairs. You didn't bother looking up. You knew where it was.
"Shh, shh, here he comes." The girls said in a hushed tone.
Elvis took one look at you and watched as you rushed out of the house. He was confused and knew damn well he didn't do anything to make you mad at him. Unless he did... He trailed down the rest of the stairs and walked into the kitchen where he found all his workers together. He raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"What were ya girls doing?" He asked.
"Just talking, Mr. Presley." The blond responded to her boss. Elvis didn't know the name to any of his workers. Well, besides you of course.
"I like your haircut." Another one of the girls spoke.
"I agree, you look very handsome." One of the girls nodded in agreement. Elvis nodded. Usually he was very accepting of every compliment, but it didn't feel like the one you gave him. You said the same words... but it felt different.
"Do ya know why, Y/n, rushed outside?" He then asked. The girls looked at each other confused. They had no idea who you were, let alone your name. They all just called you whore or slut.
"Who?"
"That girl that's been around me. H/c hair, e/c eyes?" He explain your appearance.
"Oh! The slu-" he watched as one of the girls nudge the other. He knew what they were about to say.
"What's your name?" He asked the girl that just spoke.
"Lisa," she responded with a smile on her face.
"Well Lisa, you're fired." He held no emotion on his face. Quite frank, he didn't need toxic people in his life. You were trying to help him, and he didn't appreciate bad things being said to you.
"Wha- what... why? I-"
"Get out. Actually... You're all fired." Elvis looked at all the girls. He didn't need the help really. You were there now. You made him food, you cleaned occasionally... but he didn't need all these workers here.
"But-"
"Just leave." He pinched the bridge of his nose. The girls just nodded and made their way out of the house.
You stared out towards the fountain and tried to ease yourself down. You were being dramatic... You knew that. It's just... You've never heard such things before. Were his fans really like this? It's like they all felt like they owned Elvis. You were just the nurse. You were there for work, just like they were.
Maybe you're just so caught up in your feelings because of everything that had happened so far. It was just past noon and you felt so many emotions. You wanted the day to be over already. You and Elvis fought... like always, and then you get the call that Arthur woke up? And Elvis decides to be nice and drive you... and then holds your hand... I mean...
You didn't know what to say... you didn't know what to do...
I wanted to talk a bit at the very end of this. I don’t know how many of y’all will read this but… it’s… I mean… the love I’m getting… it’s amazing. Some of it is making me cry. You guys really love this series and I really hope I can keep living it up to your expectation.
That being said, I don’t know when Part 3 will be posted. I’m taking a break. You won’t see a post from me tomorrow unless it’s Headcanons or just reblogs. Saturday I’d like to get something out, but I can’t promise.
Just the Nurse is something I enjoy writing, but it’s also something that have me scratching my head. Sometimes it’ll take a near hour to have everything down to eight hours or so. I appreciate your patience with this as well.
Part 3 so far… I don’t have much written. It begins with angst, and then goes extremely sad. At some point it will have smut. I have a part 4 in mind… I might be able to crank out a part 5 but that would be the end of Just The Nurse.
I’m working on a project currently and I don’t know. I’m a bit worried that it won’t be as popular but she says that it very much will be. I don’t want to give too much away, but that’ll mostly likely be coming out at some point.
I want to get Elvis up and out again. It’s hitting me like a ton of bricks really. I jump from chapter to chapter. My head honestly hurts and I need to make myself work on one thing at a time.
Thank you for everyone who listened to me here. I don’t want my break to be long because I really really love writing and I love writing about Elvis.
If you haven’t already check out my story/series Elvis. I put a lot of time and effort into it. I think it doesn’t get as much love because the reader has a name and set features. I still put so much time and effort into it, because I love it so much.
I also have a tone of other things I have written. I know Caught In a Trap Pt. 2 doesn’t have as much love as Part 1 got and it doesn’t bother me too much. I know the smit was extremely bad on that, but I promise the smut gets better.
And of course, if you have requests shoot them my way. I am still working on that Austin Butler request, but Just The Nurse is really taking over right now. I just want to make sure that.. that’s all finished and it’s all good before I put my attention towards something else.
I appreciate everyone who likes, comments, and reblogs. Comments really do mean the whole world to me. I love hearing feedback, I love hearing what you guys have to say... It really does mean a lot to me.
Mutual Taglist: @darlinboypresley @emmymaehereeeeee @venus-haze @austinstyles
#austin butler elvis#elvis x reader#elvis imagine#elvis#elvis 2022#austin butler x reader#austin butler#elvis movie#elvis film
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More incorrect quotes!
{fun fact: reqs are open - please I need ideas}
Y/N: *Fed up with everyone*
Y/N: Put your hands up if you've lied awake at 3 A.M
Ghost: ...
Price: ?
Y/N: Promising yourself all the things, that you think that you'll never do again.
Gaz: ...
Soap: *awkward cough*
Y/N: Puts your hands up if you dream about running away, somewhere you can get a little wild for a night.
Ghost: *tenses up*
Price: *wtf*
Y/N: Put your hands up if you've been manipulated by the masses, by the people who just want to complicate you.
Soap: *puts hand up*
Gaz: *shuffles around*
Y/N: By the ones who only want to see you crash and burn, or tell me honestly.
Y/N: The things you yearn for, do you want the voices to stop? In and out of your head.
The whole 141: ...
Y/N: Excuse me, sir
Graves: ?
Y/N: She's pregnant, could you give up your seat?
Random lady: 😅
Graves: If you're pregnant, stay at home. Why did you come out and annoy everyone?
Y/N: Excuse me, mister. Why are you so rude?
Random lady: It's okay..
Graves: Look at this little punk talking back to me. Kids these days are such pricks..
Price: A pregnant man is sitting in a reserved seat, why are you complaining?
Y/N: 🤨
Graves: 😤
Ghost: Look at him.
Soap: His belly is big and round!
Gaz: That must be a girl!
Everyone: 💀
Graves: How dare you taunt me?!
Price: Hey hey hey! Goodness, please stay seated.
Soap: I can tell by your belly you're almost due.
Gaz: Congratulations on your pregnancy, in this era of low birth rates.
Graves: Hey, driver! Let me off!
Ghost: Have a seat.
Random lady: Thank you, young man.
Y/N: What colour, is radiation? 😄
Gaz: Green!
Soap: Brown.
Y/N: Ding ding ding!
Price: It's see through, isn't it? I would've thought it's see through.
Y/N: It's mostly invisible.
Gaz: Yeah-
Ghost: IT'S NOT A COLOUR! YOU CAN'T ASK A COLOUR IF IT'S INVISIBLE!
Y/N: Well...
Ghost: What colour is it? IT'S INVISIBLE!
Everyone: *Losing their minds*
Y/N: We've reached the point in this meeting, where Ghost's medication has worn off.
Ghost: It's just kicking in.
Y/N: Random man shouting from the corner, would you like to share that with the room?
Random man: I'm dyslexic, I'm autistic, and I didn't get the joke. I'm sorry.
Y/N: I've picked on one of my own tonight..
Everyone: 💀
Y/N: I'm so sad... Yes it's true..
Y/N: He's.. autistic and dyslexic.
Y/N: But I'm dyslexic, autistic and gay!
Y/N: I've bloodied out equalitied you!
Everyone: *cheering*
Y/N: Man there in the jacket, with no tie you look cute!
Y/N: But you're bloody poor if you can only afford half a bloody suit..
Everyone: *Laughing*
Y/N: What do you do with yourself, man in the jacket?
?: *No answer*
Y/N: He doesn't bloody know! He's a Russian spy!
Everyone: 💀💀
Y/N: What's your name?
Random dude: Tom.
Y/N: He knows his name! But won't say his job?..
Y/N: I'm impressed, Tom's girlfriend/wife/lady next to him/random stranger he might not be related to at all-
Y/N: What the bloody hell does he do?
?: I don't know!
Everyone: *Absolutely losing it*
Y/N: Clearly Tom is waiting until he's got in bed with her! Till he tells her that he's her abductor!
Y/N: They kicked me out of the 141! "Kick this evil bastard out!
Y/N: That was the news, but guess who came to my defence?
Soap: Who?
Y/N: Just take a guess.
Gaz: Uh, Ghost?
Y/N: No. Kate Laswell.
Soap: Kate Laswell shut it down?!
Y/N: She said, 'This person has done nothing wrong to this task force. They can come.'
Y/N: What's your name sir?
?: Tom!
Y/N: Don't ruin your name, when your name's so class!
Y/N: Don't ruin your name, don't bloody cut it in half.
Y/N: Don't just be Tom, be Tom arse!
Y/N: ..I want to see your arse!-
Y/N: No seriously -
Everyone: *Laughing their heads off*
Y/N: What do you do for a living, Tom?
Tom: Magician!
Y/N: See me later, I'm a magical queer!-
Y/N: I can make something disappear 🤭
Ghost: You've been very drunk for the last hour..
Y/N: Me? Or you?
Y/N: *Stands up and walks two steps before collapsing*
Price: You.
Gaz: Hello!
Soap: Hey baby girl.
Y/N: Hello,
Soap: Hey Y/N.
Gaz: Why didn't he call you baby girl. Are you not gonna say baby girl? 🤨
Soap: Nah I'm terrified, I'll be honest. My timbers are absolutely shivered.
Y/N: So, Soap.
Soap: Mhmm...
Y/N: Why are you so nervous?
Soap: Uh.. Ah.. Uhm..
Y/N: Uh huh...
Soap: *Runs away*
Ghost: Mama raised a coward.
#captain john price#captain john price x reader#john price x reader#john price#john soap mactavish#cod fanfic#john soap mactavish x reader#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley
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I See You - Chapter 1
Pairing: Hangman x Phoenix
Word Count: 2k
Warnings: enemies to lovers (not yet tho), slow burn, slight swearing, for sure some military inaccuracies, third person POV
Summary: Phoenix hates Hangman's guts. But she cares about her friends more, and Hangman is making her best friend miserable. About a month ago, Hangman started picking on Bob again. No one knows why he started his jeering up again, but Phoenix is willing to pay anything to make it stop. But what happens when that price is a date? And what happens when it turns out that Jake Seresin actually isn't the worst company?
A/N: I had the idea for this fic after I saw a fanfic quote prompt somewhere: "I brought you a juice." (I can't find the user it was from, but if you do please let me know so I can credit them!) From there I wrote a cute little Hangman x reader incorrect Top Gun quote post, but I realized it was such a Hangman x Phoenix interaction so Jabber and I collaborated over some ideas and this baby was born!
This story is written fully in 3rd person, so omnipotent narrator who reads the other characters minds occasionally, but it takes place mostly from Phoenix’s POV.
Also I may have completely made up correction sensors, but they’re based off whatever targeting system that malfunctions during the “mission” in the movie. They never get mentioned again, please leave them alone. They are sensitive and valid.
Chapter Song(s): Mean, NO, CHOKE
****
"That’s a kill!" Bob’s excited voice came crackling through the radio in the Daggers’ break room.
The room erupted with cheers. No one had been able to down Hangman in this week’s exercises on targeting without the correction sensors so far, but Bob’s quick thinking and steady hand had finally done it. Hangman’s gloating would be replaced by cheers of Bob’s name that day in the lockers. A welcome reprieve.
Back in the air, Phoenix was pumping her fists in the air and flipping off an unknowing Hangman. "Suck it, Bagman! We got your butt good!" the aviator called through the radio. "That’s how we do it over here with the smoothest duo in the Daggers! Great job, Bob! MVP of the exercise for sure.”
The shy backseater blushed lightly beneath his oxygen mask. He still got flustered over the smallest compliments, no matter how many times his supportive squad mates clapped him on the back or clasped his shoulders singing his praises. He stumbled over his words as he squinted against the sun in his eyes, making getting the words out even harder, "I, uh, you—you basically lined up the shot for me, Phoenix, I just pressed the button."
"Nah, that was all you, Bob. Don’t sell yourself short." Phoenix insisted proudly.
"No, please do sell yourself short, Baby," Hangman interjected with a laugh, the cockiness and resentment were practically dripping from his voice, even through the radio.
"Please go screw yourself, Bagman," Phoenix spat back. "Ignore him, Bob, you did amazing."
"It’s okay, Phoenix; he’s just joking." Bob said, always trying to keep the peace, especially between Phoenix and Hangman. Bob was getting pretty good at standing up for himself, but the two of them always seemed to be at each other’s throats and Bob found that he was usually, unintentionally, the reason.
"I wasn’t, actually," Hangman quipped again.
Phoenix’s blood was about to boil; if it wasn’t likely to get both her and Bob a court martial, she’d dive on the cocky blond's plane just to give him a good scare. Instead, she settled for some "playful" verbal abuse.
"Bagman, everything everyone says behind your back is true."
"Was that meant to hurt my feelings, Phoenix?"
"I swear the only reason they let you fly solo is because your WSO would purposely sabotage you both just to get some damn peace."
"Oh, really? That the best you got?" Hangman taunted.
The breezy jovial feeling that had filled the air of the jet just moments before had gone stale, and instead a thick layer of smog-like anger had fallen over the aircraft cockpit. The temperature within had surely gone up by at least a few degrees with all the red hot words flying from Phoenix's mouth into her mic.
Bob's cheeks glowed to a flaming red as he listened to the two pilots bickering, entire body tense, helpless to remove himself from the mid-air argument, just waiting for the right moment to interject. He’d been in this situation many times before—he knew the drill. But that didn't make him any less uncomfortable. "Okay, c’mon, guys—" he began timidly, yet a level of assertion still came through in his voice.
"Great work, aviators!" Mav’s voice came like a shock over the radio, squashing the argument before it could manage to turn physical. No student had died on Mav's watch so far, and he wasn't looking to change that any time soon. Especially because 'purposeful collision due to mid-flight training disagreement' would not go over well on an accident report. "Let’s get these birds back on the ground. It’s quitin' time!"
--
Steam filled the empty locker room. Phoenix breathed deeply as she stepped out of the shower. She always felt like she had gained a new life after her shower at the end of each day; the amount of sweat produced under those flight suits was ungodly. She also liked to imagine that the boiling water was washing away all the boys’ BS that she had gone through that day. She loved, almost, all of them—though she’d never tell them that—but being the only girl on a team of men, Navy men, was rough. She was sure at least two of them truly were raised in a barn, and she knew Bob and Rooster were the only ones who even knew what the word "filter" meant.
She thought on her boys fondly, unable to hold back her smile, as she toweled off her hair behind the emotional privacy of the her locker door. She'd never dare show this side to them. This was still the military, after all, and she was still a woman. No matter how many times she proved herself tougher than the men around her, her and soft emotions were not allowed to coexist without ridicule. Wiping the condensation off of the mirror, she looked at her own face in the tinny glass, it had been hardened over her time in the Navy, and it reminded her of the look of rage on Hangman’s as they clambered back into the hanger. She laughed lightly. That was without a doubt the best thing she’d seen in weeks. She wished she could’ve had it photographed so she could look at it when she was having a bad day.
She didn’t truly hate the cocky pilot, but she had been nearing the line between it and mere distaste with his recent antics. After their first mission together, it had seemed like all grudges between any of the Daggers had been squashed; Hangman and Bob had been fully civil up until a couple weeks ago when Hangman decided to make the younger pilot his verbal target practice. Everyone had noticed the shift, but no one could tell exactly what triggered it. Bob had finally started to stand up for himself in the past couple days, which Phoenix was thankful for because any time anyone else said anything to Hangman, the treatment just got worse. It needed to end, and soon. Phoenix was ready to string Hangman up, but she knew acting out would only risk getting both her and Bob disciplined. She didn’t know what she was going to do. But she was sure as hell going to do something.
She finished getting ready to head home and slung her backpack over her shoulder. She tossed her hair into a loose bun as she walked out of the lockers, preparing to face the scorching heat already constantly present even this early into the California summer. Fanboy intercepted her in the hall outside the locker rooms. His face immediately told her that whatever he was about to say wasn’t another corny joke about his favorite tv series.
"There’s something you should know," he said.
--
"BAGMAN!"
Lt. Jake "Hangman" Seresin might not have finished at the very top of his classes, but he was smart enough to know that that yell could only mean one thing: he was about to get the chew out of a lifetime from one Lt. Natasha "Phoenix" Trace. He pulled his signature toothpick out of his mouth before turning on his heel to see the livid brunette storming down the hall, fire ablaze in her eyes.
If anyone else had been in the vicinity, they would've sworn they felt the temperature shift.
"What the hell, Hangman?" Phoenix barked, shoving a hand roughly into his chest, and sending the unprepared man stumbling back a couple steps with an unsophisticated mix between a "WOAH!" and "HEY!"
"What do you mean ‘what the hell'?" Hangman shot back, gathering himself and stepping forward, squaring his broad shoulders towards her. "You can't just attack a man without telling him what he did to provoke it."
Phoenix's face was now inches from his. Hangman could feel the rage on the heat of her breath.
"Watch me," she said, her voice dripping with venom. "Don't even start that crap with me. You know full well what you did."
"Humor me." Hangman said with the same tone he would have used in a casual conversation with a friend, which this situation very much was not.
There was finger in his face. He pretended there wasn't, looking past it directly into Phoenix's face.
"I am so fed up with your immature little grudge against, Bob."
"I didn't know I ever had one."
Hangman's tone was aloof, and it drove Phoenix crazy. How could he be such a prick? All she wanted to do was punch him in the jaw. She didn’t know why she always felt like she was about to explode with Hangman, no one else made it so difficult for her to keep her emotions in check, but she held it together—this time. She wasn't going to make herself any promises for the future.
"You two were supposed to be cool after the mission, I thought you had agreed to lay off him! I don't know who you think you are, but Bob is just as, if not more, qualified as any of us to be here. And you know it! But your fragile little ego just can't take that he's smarter than you, can it?" She practically spat the last words, ensuring they hit Hangman square in the face.
Phoenix saw his eyes soften for just a second and knew that she'd hit a nerve, but his expression didn’t change. He just continued to look at her with that same stupid, smug expression he always wore.
"And I have laid off him. He's not my concern any longer." He shrugged, popped the toothpick he'd been holding back into his mouth, and started to turn away. Phoenix forcefully grabbed his arm.
Her grip was stronger than Hangman assumed it would be.
"Really? 'Cause that's not what it looked like to Fanboy when he saw you corner him in the lockers after that last flying exercise. He said you looked ready to throttle Bob before he stepped in. That's low, even for you. We got you fair and square in that exercise. If you don't want to lose, try not making stupid mistakes. And one more thing," Phoenix said, leaning into Hangman's face, fists clenched so tightly at her sides they were pure red. "If you ever try taking your sore loss out on Bob again, we will be having a very different conversation that will not be much of a conversation at all."
"Is that a threat, Trace?" Hangman said coolly, a smirk on his face.
"It's a promise," Phoenix snapped, pushing past him forcefully, her shoulder smacking into his.
Hangman dropped his head and laughed, his tongue twirling the toothpick in his mouth. Head still lowered, he called after the receding footsteps, "Wow, I didn't know you had a heart, but since you clearly care so much about him, I'll leave Bob alone."
The footsteps stopped. Hangman turned to face them, shaking his head lightly.
"But it's gonna cost you."
Phoenix cocked one eyebrow in an ‘I knew this was coming' fashion.
"Really?" She said, crossing her arms over her chest, taking a step closer.
"Really." Hangman shot back joyfully, also taking a step closer. He was clearly enjoying this.
"Fine. I'll bite. What's your price?"
"Go on a date with me."
Phoenix scoffed, staring at him agape as if she hadn't heard him correctly or refused to believe he'd actually said what she thought he said.
"That's the worst joke you've ever made, Bagman, and you've made a lot of bad jokes." She scoffed again as she turned and continued toward the exit.
"Maybe because it wasn't a joke." There wasn't a drop of sarcasm in his voice.
"You’ve got to be kidding me," said Phoenix, turning back to him again.
"You want me to leave Bob alone? That's my price. One date, and we'll never have this issue again. I promise." He held up three fingers in a "scouts honor" kind of way.
"You’re insufferable, Bagman," Phoenix said. With that, she turned and walked down the hallway, silently fuming.
#top gun#top gun maverick#jake hangman seresin#natasha phoenix trace#hangman x phoenix#fanfic#robert bob floyd#phoenix x hangman#hannix#hangnix#seresin x trace#top gun fanfiction#fanfiction#i see you
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What's in the box?
Author’s note: Hello hello, I wrote a silly little thing based on the incorrect quotes video XD
Relationships: Romantic logicality
Patton was up to something. Logan could tell - of course he could, they’d been married for six years, he knew all of Patton's tells.
When he'd laid all of their mugs out on the lawn, he'd been suspiciously quiet all day, only humming the Flintstones theme every so often until he came into the kitchen and said, "it's a little muggy out today."
So, when Patton came through the front door whistling nonchalantly, Logan knew something was going on.
Patton had been home from work a little late, with only a cryptic text about going to help out one of his colleagues as explanation. Logan had decided to pass the time reading a book on the sofa.
"Did you have a good day, dear?" He greeted when he heard the door open.
"Mm-hm!" Patton called from the entryway.
Another tell. It was rare that Patton didn't immediately rush to greet Logan when he came in from work, dying to tell him all about his day.
Logan carefully marked his place in his book and put it on the coffee table, then went to investigate.
Patton was in the entryway, his shoes still on, holding an absurdly large cardboard box.
Before Logan could speak, Patton gave him a bright, if slightly guilty smile. "You remember Marlene from my work, right?" Patton said.
Logan thought for a moment. "The woman from the Christmas party with the orange blazer and that obnoxious One Direction song as her ringtone? Yes, I remember her vividly."
"Well, her dog just had puppies!" Patton exclaimed. "They weren’t expecting it at all, Bessie didn't even show any signs of pregnancy, but a couple of weeks ago she had a litter of six! Marlene and her parents don't have space for six more dogs in their house so the puppies needed somewhere to go, and-"
"Patton," Logan interrupted warily, already sensing where this conversation was going. "What's in the box?"
Patton's smile faltered, looking a more like a grimace. The kind of grimace he gave when he'd just been caught.
Logan took a step forward. "What's in the box, Patton?"
"I think you know," Patton mumbled, holding it out to him.
Logan peered into the box, and inside were six adorable golden labrador puppies, all curled up together. If anyone asked later, Logan would tell them that his heart absolutely did not melt in that moment.
"Well, I... suppose you can't really go back on it, now that you said you'd take them," Logan said. "How much did they cost?"
"Oh, nothing," Patton said. "Marlene just wanted them to go to a good home. She also gave me a bag of their food and leant me one of Bessie's old beds for them to use tonight."
"Right, well, we'll have to go shopping and get some more things for them first thing tomorrow," Logan said. "Let's see, they'll need a bowl each, plenty of toys, some proper beds, and- what?"
He noticed Patton was staring at him, a fond and look in his eyes.
"Nothing," Patton replied, shaking his head. "I'm just happy that you're happy, sweetheart."
#sanders sides#logan sanders#patton sanders#ts logan#ts patton#logicality#sanders sides fanfiction#drabble
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all Targaryens survive incorrect quotes.
btw in this au Jon's name is Aemon not Aegon.
Viserys: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Rhaenys: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.
Viserys: Three of us saw it, Rhaenys. How do you explain that?
Rhaenys: *points at Aegon* Sleep deprivation. *points at Aemon* Paranoia. *points at Daenerys* Delusional personality disorder.
Viserys: Where's Rhaenys, Aegon, and Aemon?
Daenerys: They're playing hide and seek.
Viserys: Where?
Daenerys: I don't think you get how this game works.
Viserys: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Rhaenys: 'Prettiest Smile'
Aegon: 'Nicest Personality'
Aemon: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Daenerys: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
Viserys: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Rhaenys: Rude.
Aegon: That’s fair.
Aemon: Not again.
Daenerys: Are you going to want this back?
Viserys: What’s something you guys are better than Rhaenys at?
Aegon: Mario Kart.
Aemon: Yeah, video games.
Daenerys: Emotional vulnerability.
Viserys: Good morning.
Rhaenys: Good morning.
Aegon: Good morning.
Aemon: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.
Daenerys: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS
Viserys: What does 'take out' mean?
Rhaenys: Food.
Aegon: Dating
Aemon: Murder
Daenerys: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.
Viserys: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Rhaenys: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Aegon: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Aemon: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Daenerys: My moral code, is that you?
Viserys:
Viserys: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?
Viserys: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Rhaenys: ... Your what?
Viserys: My friends.
Aegon: Are they saying “friends”?
Aemon: I think they're being sarcastic.
Daenerys: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Viserys! All of your friends are in this room.
Viserys: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.
Viserys: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!
Rhaenys: Tubular AF!
Aegon: Mood to the max!
Aemon, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.
Daenerys, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.
Viserys: You're a loose cannon, Rhaenys.
Rhaenys: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?
Aegon: I think you play by your own rules.
Aemon: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.
Viserys: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.
Rhaenys: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Daenerys is a loose cannon.
Daenerys: *smashes a chair*
Viserys: Favorite horror movie?
Rhaenys: It
Aegon: Saw
Aemon: Annabelle
Daenerys: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics
Viserys: Nothing in life is free.
Rhaenys: Love is free!
Aegon: Adventure is free.
Aemon: Knowledge is free.
Daenerys: Everything is free if you take it without paying.
Viserys: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Rhaenys: Several traffic violations.
Aegon: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Aemon: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Daenerys: Also, that’s not our car.
Viserys: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Rhaenys: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.
Viserys: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Rhaenys: That's why I carry two swords.
Viserys: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming
Rhaenys: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak
Daenerys: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Aemon: Daenerys no.
Aegon: Mistlefoe.
Aemon: Please stop encouraging them.
Daenerys: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Aemon: The cow???
Daenerys: What?
Aegon: Aemon, W H Y?
Daenerys: Hey Aemon,
Aemon: Yes?
Daenerys: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Aemon:
Aemon: Where’s Aegon?
Jon Connington: While I’m gone, Aemon, you’re in charge.
Aemon: Yes!!!
Jon Connington, whispering: Aegon, you’re secretly in charge.
Aegon: Obviously.
Jon Connington: You know those things will kill you, right?
Rhaenys, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.
Aegon, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.
Aemon: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*
Aegon: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
Rhaenys: What?
Jon Connington: That you're a child.
Aemon: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?
Aemon: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Rhaenys: Not if they consent to it.
Aegon: Depends who you’re stabbing.
Jon Connington: YES?!?
Jon Connington: Listen, I can explain...
Rhaenys: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000?
Aegon: You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000!
Aemon: You guys are getting paid?
Jon Connington: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
Rhaenys: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.
Aegon: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Aemon: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.
#jon snow#aegon martell targaryen#aegon son of elia#aegon vi targaryen#young griff#young griff is Aegon targaryen#game of thrones#rhaenys daughter of elia#rhaenys martell#viserys targaryen#viserys brother of Daenerys#daenerys targeryan#jon connington#Jon Connington and his children
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Manbagi, drunk and sobbing on the table: And I keep trying to tell Tadano I'm in love with him, but he's so damn dense and he never notices when I flirt with him!
Tadano, oblivious and dumb: ...... When did you meet someone else named Tadano?
(Source: Unknown)
#wait who gave them alcohol#I bet Najimi was involved somehow#manbagi rumiko#tadano hitohito#incorrect quotes#komi san can't communicate#incorrect komi quotes#I know this came from somewhere but Google failed to find anything except other Incorrect Quotes blogs
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Stormbringer Crew Incorrect Quotes (Part 2);
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Levi: I CAN'T DO IT!
Skelebar , laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Levi: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE!
Ike: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Levi:
Levi: I appreciate it,
Levi: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Jolene: Levi-
Levi: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Craven: Levi we gotta-
Levi: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Levi: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Levi, motioning to baby Atlas: NOT FUCKING THIS!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Hannah: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Luke: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Darcy: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Skia: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Peachy: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Remi:
Remi: I have emotional scars.
Hannah:
Hannah: Same but the dumbest scars I got were from purposely stabbing my hand in the 1st grade over and over again to make Skia feel better about her scar.
Skia: It was a nice gesture but it didn't really work because I don't like watching her get hurt.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Remi: Hey Hannah, how'd you get that scar on your knee?
Hannah: Oh I was riding my bike back in 2nd grade when Cruella tried to ram me down with her car but I escaped by going down a hill. Tried to hit the brakes but that just sent me flying head first off my bike and into the road. I came out with this scar, one on my hand, and bad road burn on my belly. But it could have been worse because I wasn't wearing a helmet. But it wasn't and I only have a couple of scars from it, cool right?
Remi:
Remi: WHAT?!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Isaac: We need to distract these guys.
Parker: Leave it to me.
Parker: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
James, Luis, and John: *Immediately begin arguing*
Eduardo, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
*The squad right before Josh's wedding*
Evelyn: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Gunner: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!
Treycor: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well
Noah: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND!
Haul, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Josh: Are we really going to let Hannah keep Joy?
Evelyn: We kept Eduardo.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
*The group is getting into the car*
Anna: I’m driving.
Alex, out of view: Shotgun!
Aaron, turning to face Alex: Aww! But you had it on the way here-
Everyone except Alex: WOAH-
Alex, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Misty, banging on the door: Rian! Open up!
Rian: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
Moxie: No, they meant-
Hope: Let them finish.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Fiona: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Herlando: Not if they consent to it.
Howiee: Depends who you’re stabbing.
Gunner: YES?!?
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Liberty: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Hannah: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Haul: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
Hannah: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??
Haul: Is it working?
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Gunner: Bro-
Aaron: No, no, hold up, rewind. My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Darcy: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Luke: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Darcy: I said within reason, Luke. How about I murder that guy?
Luke: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Darcy: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Liberty: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
Herlando : *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*
Liberty: That one. I want that one.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Moxie: Hope is playing hard to get.
Moxie: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Noah: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?
Fiona: Aww-
Noah: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Hope: Are you ready to commit?
Moxie: Like, a crime or a relationship?
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Misty: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.
Rian: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.
Misty: ...
Misty: You mean ring bearER, right?
Rian: ...
Misty: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Howiee: We both look very handsome tonight.
Anna: You know, if you'd just said that I looked beautiful, I would have said, "So do you."
Howiee: I couldn't take that chance.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Howiee: I think I'm falling for you.
Anna: Then get up.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Haul: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.
Hannah: That's great, Haul. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Darcy: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.
Luke: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Peachy: repeat after me.
Skia: after me.
Peachy: no, repeat "I will not cause mass terror via homicide."
Skia: I will cause mass terror via homicide.
Hannah: I will cause mass terror with vigilantism as a replacement for homicide.
Peachy: NO!
Remi: I made chocolate chip cookies! Oh, bad timing I guess...
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Audrey: Skia can we use your hair as a campfire
Skia: yes but why?
Chad: to make s'mores
Hannah: what's a s'more?
Skia: the hell is that?
Audrey: Oh my gosh.
Chad: That has to be illegal. Everyone should know what a s'more is!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Hannah: I don't like Mal much....
Skia: should I toast her?
Hannah:...do we really want to smell that?
Hannah, under breath: and Mal isn't that bad.
Audrey: stop planning murder.
Chad: I'm concerned for your mental stability
Hannah: what's that?
Skia: what's that?
Chad, concerned: time for therapy...
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Skia: is arson allowed here?
Hannah: no but do it. I suggest Beast's statue.
Skia: but what if we get in trouble....should I?
Hannah: yes.
Chad, overhearing: NO, ARSON BAD!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Skia: I'm stabby.
Peachy: Skia, you're seven, no, and never, especially not now.
Hannah: do it, stab someone.
Remi: Hannah we're small, how would she even stab someone!?
Skia: *sees Gaston* target acquired AHHHHHHHHHH! *Runs and stabs Gaston*
Hannah: heh, bully deserves it.
Peachy: SKIA NO! GET BACK OVER HERE NOW!
Skia: *skips back happily* I got rid of the stabby urge, now all I have left is-
Peachy: Skia no.
Hannah: Skia yes!
Skia: WORLD DOMINATION!
Remi: why though?
Skia: *grins ferally* because monarchies are bad!
Peachy: Skia, you're seven, no world domination.
Skia: I see, world domination the second I turn into an adult!
Remi: I agree.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Hannah to Luke: how have you not learned at this point that like 90% of our successes are based on luck?
Hannah: John I need you to—
Hannah:..
Hannah: where the fuck did John go?
Luke: why are you asking me? I wasn't aware that I was on John Patrol.
Hannah: the fuck you talking about? All of us—all of the time—we are all on John Patrol. He's a literal fucking Ninja. ZEUS DAMN IT!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
F.G: I am, as the kids say, awake.
Hannah: ...Did you mean “woke”?
F.G: I did mean “woke” but it’s grammatically incorrect.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Rian: Just stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.
Moxie: Really Rian? And where does my nose belong if not inside our parents' business?
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Luke: How much could I possibly owe you? Fifty, sixty bucks?
Hannah: Two thousand, four hundred, and thirty seven dollars.
Luke: Dollars?! Wait, of course dollars. Why was that the part I was surprised by?!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Treycor *walks into Hannah's room*
Hannah, standing on a table with Atlas, Levi, Ike, Craven, Jolene, Skelebar, Noah, Fiona, and the other children:
Treycor: what are you lot doing on the table?
Hannah: it's my room, I can stand where I want to!
Treycor:
Treycor: Where's the spider?
Hannah: Its by the door kill it please I beg of you.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Gunner: Alright, who taught Noah how to say Fuck?
Aaron: Who taught YOU how to say fuck?!
Anna: oh my Zeus, will you guys stop saying fuck before you teach the smaller kids to say it and Hannah beats all our asses.
Levi, age 3, breaks a toy: FUCK!
The twins and Gunner: Oh fuck.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Moxie: Rian. Get Herlando. Now.
Rian: You dropped Atlas into the chamleon encloser at the zoo again didn't you?
Moxie: JUST GET HERLANDO BEFORE HANNAH FINDS OUT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Gunner: has anyone seen my blood bags?
*everyone turns to look at Herlando*
Herlando: Oh what, just because I'm a vampire it was automatically I who took it? That's specist!
Everyone *immediately turns sheepish *
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Hannah: What is your biggest weakness?
John: I can be uncooperative.
Hannah: Okay, can you give me an example?
John: No.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Hannah: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Parker: The cow???
Hannah: What?! No!!
Luke: Parker, W H Y?
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Hannah: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited
Treycor: If?
Luke: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and they might not even die.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Hannah: I know you snuck out last night without me, Lucas.
Treycor: Play dumb!
Luke: Who's Lucas ?
Treycor: NOT THAT DUMB!!!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Hannah: We need a distraction.
Treycor: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Luke, whispering: My time has come
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Luke: You're right.
Hannah: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Hannah: Treycor, keep an eye on Luke today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Treycor: Sure, I’d love to see Luke get punched.
Hannah: Try again.
Treycor, sighing: I will stop Luke from getting punched.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
James: You wanna see how hardcore I am?
James *punches wall*
James:
James: Takemetothehospitalplease.
Treycor: No, because if I do you won't learn anything.
Parker: and you're just overreacting. See, watch...
Parker *punches the same wall* OW!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
John: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Hannah: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck
Luke, nodding: Mood.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Josh: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.
John: I'm with him, I'm too tired to handle this right now.
Evelyn: same here.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Fiona: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them as Luke would say.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Luke, threatening the others with a paintball gun: Listen... Life comes at us fast. We don't know what life is gonna give us... And today, it's gonna give you... a paintball!
Hannah: Luke no!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Skia: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Darcy: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Noah: Goodnight moon.
Noah: Goodnight tree.
Noah: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.
Hannah: Say syke right now.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Darcy: Bye Luke. Bye River. Bye Hannah. Bye murderous ghosts that only I can see.
Hannah: Haha, very funny Darcy.
Darcy *walking away*
Hannah: Darcy?
Darcy *still walking*
Hannah: This isn't funny Darcy.
Darcy *Gone*
Hannah: DARCY, I SWEAR TO FUCKING ZEUS YOU BETTER BE FUCKING WITH ME! SAY SYKE RIGHT NOW!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Hannah, playing a VR game: You see, that’s the thing. It PROBABLY is fine. It’s PROBABLY 100% okay. There are PROBABLY no spiders in this headset.
Hannah: BUT- as you may be able to relate to- If you find a spider in your headset, and then have to put that headset on to play video games...
Hannah: YoU jUsT dOnT gEt ToO cOMfOrTaBlE.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
James: Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Luke: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.
Luke: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'
Hannah: Okay, you're NEVER allowed to answer the door AGAIN.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Fiona: My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.
James: Niether is mine. I feel ya.
Parker: Mine either.
Luke: and they just can't get my nose right!
Hannah, rolling her eyes: that's because you four all made your wanted posters.
Fiona, young and sad: I just wanted to look interesting...
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Fiona, motioning to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts! I still can’t find a boo.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Alex: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Fiona: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Darcy: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.
Darcy: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Luke, filming from the balcony: I taught Atlas how to say 'Tax Benefits' and now that's all he says. It's hilarious.
Atlas, waddling away from Hannah and babbling: TAX BENEFITS!
Hannah: You're 1! How do you even know what tax benefits are?! I don't even know what they are!
Luke: We're 21. And she's gonna kill me when she finds out I'm the one who taught him it but I have no regrets.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Levine: Why are you smiling?
Skelebar: Wha? Can't I just be happy?
Jolene: She's smiling because Ike tripped and fell in the parking lot.
Skelebar: Snitch!
Ike: I liked you better when you didn't talk.
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Levine: Ooo Skelebar lost Atlas, she's in trouble.
Skelebar: You're the oldest, dumbass, you're gonna be the one in trouble!
Ike: Hannah said not to use that word!
Jolene: Well, Hannah's not here and we need to find Atlas. So who cares what Hannah said?
Craven: That's mutually!
Jolene: It's pronounced 'Mutiny' not 'Mutually', barnacle brains!
Levine: Jolene, be nice to your brother!
Skelebar: LEVI, FOCUS!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Levine: Skelebar, you handle this.
Skelebar: But you're the oldest!
Levine: Not my problem!
🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Levine: Oh God, we dropped Atlas.
Skelebar: Hannah's gonna kill us.
Atlas *completely fine and laughing on the floor* Again, again, AGAIN!
#descendants#disney descendants#melissa de la cruz#disney#wicked world#descendants au#ocs#original characters#original character#descendants ocs#disney descendants au#the marvelous misadventures of hannah hook and crew#hannah hook verse#the marvelous misadventures of hannah hook and co#the marvelous misadventures of hannah hook#incorrect quotes#descendants incorrect quotes
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Could we have more of Mafia!Fell and CV!Dream? 🥺
So it begins, well, I don't have any drawings or minifics to show off atm, but since my LV Triangle Incorrect Quotes part 2 just came out, I'll do the same for them!
Also just imagine as much as you want of the two, my favorite thing to imagine is Mafiafell picking Dream up by the back of his neck like a cat, possibly with or without the snake tail to make it better
MafiaFell: Hey Sunshine, do you have any hobbies?
Dream: Swimming..
MafiaFell: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to-
Dream: In a pool of self hatred and regret.
MafiaFell: What's this?
Dream, hugging MafiaFell: Affection!
MafiaFell: Disgusting.
MafiaFell: ...Do it again.
Dream: I think I'm falling for you.
MafiaFell: Then get up.
MafiaFell: Start talking!
Dream: Well, I-
MafiaFell: Shut up!
Dream: From 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
MafiaFell: I'm America. I'm only free for the very attractive and very wealthy.
Dream: Do you need help getting up?
MafiaFell: Nah, I'm cool down here on the floor.
Dream: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?
MafiaFell, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.
Dream: You remind me of the ocean.
MafiaFell: Because I'm deep and mysterious?
Dream: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.
Dream: Am I in trouble?
MafiaFell: Take a guess.
Dream: No?
MafiaFell: Take another guess.
Dream: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
MafiaFell: Okay.
Dream: And make out during the scary parts.
MafiaFell: Th-
MafiaFell: The scary parts.
MafiaFell: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
MafiaFell: Don’t worry, I have a permit.
Dream: ...This just says “I can do what I want”.
*Dream and MafiaFell texting...*
Dream: So, wanna makeout?
Dream:I mean hangout** damn autocorrect.
MafiaFell:So, wanna sit on my face?
MafiaFell:I mean grab a drink** damn autocorrect.
Dream:Autocorrect clearly just wants us to bang.
Dream:I mean hang**
Dream:Everytime...
Dream: MafiaFell, you risked your life to save me!
MafiaFell: And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.
Dream: MafiaFell is playing hard to get.
Dream: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
Dream: Remember everyone, violence is never the answer.
MafiaFell: You're right, Sunshine.. Violence can't be the answer.
Dream: Correct, MafiaFell. Now, on to the next lesso-
MafiaFell: Violence is the question.
MafiaFell: And the answer is yes!
Dream: MafiaFell, no!!
Dream: My head hurts.
MafiaFell: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.
MafiaFell: You’re giving me a sticker?
Dream: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”
MafiaFell: I’m not a preschooler.
Dream: Fine, I’ll take it back-
MafiaFell: I earned this, back off!
MafiaFell: You can do it Sunshine!
MafiaFell: But if you can't, at least your death will be quick, painless, and really cool to watch.
Dream: I shall cast a spell to make you have a good day!
MafiaFell: Burn the witch.
MafiaFell: Are you ready to commit?
Dream: Like, a crime or a relationship?
Dream: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?
MafiaFell: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.
MafiaFell: Open up. Now.
Dream: ...It all started when I was 6 years old.
MafiaFell: Open the fucking door.
#inbox#incorrect quotes#cursedverse#cv stuff#cv dream#cv mafiafell#mafiafell sans#dream sans#alicianicoly#gore rot#frien#silly goofy mood#for fun
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https://www.tumblr.com/bunjywunjy/617999987396182016/maximum-overboner-in-primary-school-we-had-a?source=share
Tumblr is my home base I should know better by now that if an incorrect quote is something that sounds batshit insane that it came from this website somewhere
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incorrect quotes because i need steph and bernard to be best friends
Bernard: Pros and cons of dating me.
Bernard: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Bernard: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-
~
Bernard: I saw you fall, saw the sinners lay on your corpses...
Stephanie: Hey, what’s up with Bernard?
Bernard: I created you, made the pieces perfect, others marveled at your beauty… their gazes may have held envy, though, for none are perfect but you. I was only looking away for a moment, but you were gone. I had failed you. And I fell into despair. The only way to save myself was to create, but I knew… this time I knew I was only making you to die. And I apologize. For I will undoubtedly fail you again. For a short time, there will be peace and beauty, but none in the face of us shall lay undisturbed. The greatest have fallen, and will continue to fall, and I weep for you for being born unto this place, where brother eats brother, and the undeserving rise to fame. Those that have gone against you know they’ve wronged you, and they will stand before the creator, knowing they have sinned. Do not worry, little ones, you will be avenged.
Tim: ...They made some rock towers and went somewhere else for twenty minutes and when they came back the rock towers were destroyed and people were sitting where the towers once were, so they were sad and made more rock towers.
Tim, to Bernard: Hey, who even is the creator? I thought you were an atheist!
Bernard: SHUT THE HELL UP, TIM! I’M TRYING TO BE DRAMATIC AND MYSTERIOUS!
~
Tim: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Bernard periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’
Tim: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.
~
Tim to Stephanie: Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just...
Bernard: Cockroach ankles!
Tim: Ye- uh, what?
~
Stephanie: Hey, Tim, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?
Tim: Yeah.
Stephanie: And you, Bernard?
Bernard: Umm... yes?
Stephanie: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!
Bernard: Did they just-
~
Steph: Two years ago, I married my best friend.
Steph: Tim is still mad about it, but me and Bernard were drunk and thought it was funny.
~
Bernard: Guess what number I’m thinking of.
Stephanie: 420?
Bernard: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.
Tim: 69.
Bernard: Yeah it was 69.
~
Bernard: How do you do that?
Stephanie: I'm fearless.
Tim: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad.
Stephanie: I'm mostly fearless.
~
*Bernard is telling a story*
Tim: Wow, Bernard, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance!
Stephanie: Romance?
Tim: I have a crush on them.
~
Stephanie: Why is Bernard crying?
Tim: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-
Bernard: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!
Stephanie: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say-
Bernard: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!
Stephanie: NO, NOT THAT!
~
Bernard: How did you even get in here?
Stephanie: Tim's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Stephanie's door"!
Tim: I’m closing the window.
~
Stephanie: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life.
Tim: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?
Stephanie: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.
Bernard: Edible.
~
Stephanie: Did you take out Bernard as I requested?
Tim: Bernard has been taken out, yes.
Stephanie: You have my grat-
Tim: It was a great restaurant.
Tim: We had a romantic candlelit dinner.
Tim: Bernard proposed afterwards- we’re filing the wedding papers.
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