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#I just need a space to like.. get this off my chest
babygorewhore · 1 day
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Cry Baby
Frat!Rafe Cameron x fem reader
After being invited to one of Rafe’s parties, you hide away in his room to escape the crowd. But he catches you using his pillow and makes you give him a show.
Warnings! Masturbation! Daddy kink! Unprotected sex! Spitting! Degrading! Crying kink! Oral! Male receiving! Porn! Barely proofread!
Part of Dolly and Morgan’s writing prompt game! Dividers from @xxbimbobunnyxx and dialogue is inspired from a conversation with @drewstarkeyslut W. C is 1k something!
You maneuvered through the mess of the house as you quickly found an empty room, Rafe’s bedroom and pressed your back against the door. It was a wild party. He was known for his booming music, booze and a good time. His graduation from college was no exception when he had texted to an invite the night before. You played hard to get even though you wanted him more than anyone in your life.
You wore your cropped tank top, best bra that pushed your chest high and perky, mini skirt that exposed your thighs. Fishnet tights topped with your combat doc Martins that gave you a few inches of height. Your makeup was perfect and you smelled like candy. You wanted to look good, impossible to resist but he was nowhere to be found.
As much as you loved your friends, the crowd became a little overwhelming and you needed a minute to collect yourself. You bit your lip as you examined his room. Despite his hot mess of a personality, his space was tidy and put together. Lots of photos with a hidden hobby of photography and trophies. You wanted him in here. You needed him so bad your core ached whenever you saw him.
Sitting on his bed, you rubbed your knees together and imagined him storming in. Taking you like he owned you within seconds and he would never let anyone touch you again. You exhaled as you imagined his muscular body over yours, holding you down by your throat as he pounded you into oblivion.
Your cunt fluttered underneath your panties and you settled on top of his pillow after you set your phone down, playing your favorite porn video. You would try your best to imagine him instead as you started grinding, moving your underwear to the side.
Seconds went by and your stomach tightened from your movements as you bounced. You squeezed your tit, groaning as you dug your nails in but a buzz caught your attention. You glanced down and came to a halt as you read the name.
Rafe was calling you.
You immediately answered, “Rafe?” You said breathlessly.
“I can see what you’re doing. I have a camera in my room.” Your mouth parted but he continued, “You’re a disgusting little bunny, aren’t you? Humping my pillow like a whore? Wishing it was my dick?”
You rolled your hips on the soft material, holding the phone close to your ear. “Mhm,” You moaned and you heard him let out a quiet laugh.
“Yeah? Give me a show then. Show me exactly how you’d ride my cock, princess. Give me all those pretty sounds.”
You sucked your fingers with your free hand before sliding it down between your legs and you started rubbing circles on your clit. You lowered your chest down, sticking your ass up in the air as you moaned, your eyes drifting shut.
“Such a good fuckin girl, baby. Show me how good you can make yourself feel thinkin bout me.” He tells you.
“Shit-“ You whisper as arousal pools out of you, leaking onto the pillow as you roll your body, slowly removing your top. Your black bra with a little bow in the center on display as you pull your hand away from your cunt, dragging it down your chest and stomach.
“God damn, Angel. Perfect body, ass up and pussy on my pillow? Tryna spoil me?” His voice sounds strained and your eyes widen as you hear the door open.
You snap yourself to the side as Rafe slams the door shut with his foot, his t shirt fitting his large form as he storms toward you. “Don’t act all shy now, baby doll. We’re just gettin started,” He wraps his arm around your waist, lifting you up off the pillow. With one hand, he peels off his shorts.
Rafe manhandles you around a little, not enough to hurt you but he sits down on the bed, pulling you on top of him in a straddle. His hard dick underneath you as your knees are wide apart. He leans forward and kisses you, sucking your lower lip before his tongue touches yours.
He gives your ass a hard spank before squeezing it and his other hand wraps around your throat. “Filthy little slut, so fuckin wet for daddy’s dick that you couldn’t even wait for me? Had to ride my pillow?” You hungrily suck his tongue, your hand pulling out his cock and you play with his balls.
“Fuck-“ He stutters as you sink down, taking him to the brim and your vision goes white as your soaked pussy takes him.
Your eyes water as he thrusts into you, your clit hitting his pelvis as you whimper and whine. Tears stream down your face as he spits in your mouth, blind pleasure overwhelming you as your hands settle on his chest.
“Knew you were a god damn cry baby but fuck, bunny. Tears because my dick is so good? You really are a dirty little slut, huh?” Rafe takes his thumb and wipes away your tears before smearing your spit on your mouth. Messing up your lipstick.
“Making a mess on my cock. Cum for me, I’m gonna fuck you full.” Rafe reaches up and takes off his SnapBack, setting it on your head. “Turn the fuck around.” He moves you so your back is against his chest, ass bouncing as you ride him.
Your hands on his legs as your peak hits you hard, you throw your head back as Rafe grips your tits from behind, his lips finding your neck as you cream on his dick.
“Uh huh, that’s a good fuckin slut. Cum all over me, then you’re gonna lick it off.” Rafe slams into you one more time before you feel him cum in you, dripping out of your cunt and onto your thighs as he grunts. His moans mix with yours as you reach back and grab his hair, pulling the blonde strands as you bounce your ass harder.
You pry yourself free, hat slanted to the side and you wrap your hand around his dick. Cum glistening off his tip as your tongue laps at it, kitten licking and his fingers create a makeshift pony tail around his SnapBack.
“So fuckin pretty, baby girl. My own personal little show.” He rolls his head back as you suck his balls, your lips soft around him.
Rafe cups your jaw and moves you back, “Lay down, I’m not done with you yet. You’re gonna give me more of that perfect tight pussy and those pretty tears. Aren’t you, doll?”
Tagging @marchsfreakshow @rafescurtainbangz @rafesthroatbaby @gri959 @redhead1180 @oceandriveab @voyeurmunson @rowanswriting @slvt4jamesmarch
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nexysworld · 9 hours
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Summary: Toji is returned to you, beat up after a job, he comforts you the best way he knows how. Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Fem Reader Tags: NSFW, MDNI, Face Riding/Sitting, Fem Receiving Oral, Light mentions of being injured, Hurt Comfort. Happy ending, drabble. WC: 1.1K
Read on AO3 || Ask Box
A/N: This is a quick one dedicated to one of the best people I know @dollfacefantasy. Thank you to @gigabyte-flare, @explorevenus, @kaitkatme and @d10nyx for beta reading.
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Toji had always refused to tell you what he really did for a living, and while it didn’t take a genius to know it was less-than-legal, you never thought that it would end with him hurt so badly. He was a tank of a man, and you always assumed that meant he was impenetrable. 
If only.
Lying there covered from the neck down in bandages, he still managed to look handsome. Eyes closed, his pointed features relaxed as he snored lightly, chest rising with the even rhythm of his breathing. “Idiot.” You said, reaching out to touch his cheek. It was the first time you’d touched him in hours. When Shiu had dumped him back at your shared apartment, you were scared he’d shatter under your fingertips. “Good mornin’ to you too, Mamas.” His voice was hoarse and he hadn’t bothered to open his eyes. “How are you feeling?” “Not great. Not the worst I’ve ever been.” The thought of that made your shudder. “ You had me worried so bad, I should’ve killed you myself.” “It’s cute you think you could.” “Shut up.” You leaned down to press your lips to his. “Just, shut up.” “Kiss me again, and I might.” You didn’t waste time, capturing him in another needy kiss. You let your lips linger on his, eyes fluttering shut as you took in the feeling of him. The scar on the corner of his mouth, the slight chappyness of his compared to your soft ones. It was him. It was Toji.
Having pulled back just a few inches, you felt his calloused thumb run over your cheek. “You’re cryin’, Mamas. Did I really scare you that much?” You couldn’t speak, fighting off your tensing face muscles from scrunching up into that childlike ugly cry. “Yeah, you did.” “Let me distract ya then. Been too long without tastin’ my pretty baby.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at his suggestion. “Seriously? You can barely sit up, and you’re already talking about getting laid, typical.” “My face is feelin’ cold, figured you could warm it up… wait actually now that I think about it my whole head’s been feelin’ a little cold.” The one arm he could move, reached up to pat the top of his head. You winced as you watched him make the discovery himself. It had been a shocker to you when you first saw it, but those inky blank locks were gone. “Where’s my fuckin’ hair?!” You flinched slightly at his tone. “Shiu said that the sorcerer who did this to you shaved it, like a battle tradition or something. I mean…..it kind of suits you, sexy in a real Vin Diesel kind of way.” You offered, your own words not as confident as you wanted them to be. Really though, he was still handsome to you, he was your man…just now he was your very shiny bald headed man. He narrowed his eyes at you, clearly not finding the amusement or reassurance in your words. “Hop up.” “You really want me to?” “Yeah, need a distraction for myself now.” “If you insist.” You moved from where you were seated, discarding your clothing as quickly as you could. While normally you’d have taken the time to tease him, show off a bit, you both were clearly in a rush to be connected to each other. It was a bit awkward, but you managed to seat yourself over his head without disturbing any of his injuries, a death grip on the headboard kept you “That’s it, Mamas.” He murmured against your thigh. He brought his good hand up to squeeze your thigh to coax you down. Normally there’d be more space for you to see what you’re doing, but with his lack of mobility or real support, you were going in blind. The first time you lowered yourself, your clit bumped his nose, you gasped slightly from the quick flicker of warmth it pulled from you. “Sorry.” You mumbled, lifting yourself up again. This time, you missed again, wet folds coming into contact with the smoothness of his forehead. You almost went to try for a third time until you adjusted slightly and realized it felt good. The expanse of his forehead, including the small wrinkles above his brow bumped against your clit in a way you’d never felt before. 
You closed your eyes and tossed your head back as you tested the waters again, grinding down against his forehead, the lack of hair giving you more room to drag your sensitive bud over. It was similar to how you imagined the feeling of rutting against his abs or thigh, but without the friction of body hair. “Uh, what are ya doin’?” 
The sound of his voice snapped you back to the moment. “Oh god sorry.” Despite your words, your hips moved on their own, wet folds gliding across his head. “You’re nowhere near my mouth, ya know that, right?” “Yeah, yeah….yeah, I know…just god it feels amazing.” You could sense the confusion on his face from the way his brows came together beneath your aching need. “S’okay, right?” “Might blind me with your juices.” He said, though his voice gave clear indicators that he wasn’t sure what was going on still. “I-I can stop.” You rutted down in a circle motion this time, and it was almost enough to send you over your peak.
“Don’t do that. If ya feel good, then ya feel good, can’t take that away from my baby. Just promise to let me get a taste before you hop off.” “D-deal.” You muttered, tossing your head back as you humped his fleshy cueball.”Gonna cum…gonna cum…” You whined, head lolling back, knuckles white and legs shaking as you finally found your desperate release. 
As promised, before sliding off, you pushed yourself as best you could with your jello legs farther down, allowing him the chance to lap at your sensitive wetness. “Fuck, think ya nearly waterboarded me. Can’t even open my eyes.” 
“Sorry…” You said sheepishly, the post nut clarity sinking in and reminding you that shame existed. “Don’t be, meant it as a compliment. You taste just as good as I remember too.”
Sliding off the bed, you reached for your discarded shirt, using it to blot your wetness from his face so he could at least open his eyes. “Another perk, looks like it polished you right up.” You joked, swirling the cottony fabric around his head as if you were doing it to a new bowling ball. 
He rolled his eyes in response, but that huge smile he was known for was painted on his face despite himself. “You owe me a blowjob for that one.” 
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aquagirl1978 · 2 days
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As You Wish
A/N: My fourth entry for An Invitation to Crown hosted by @judejazza Pairing: William Rex x Reader Prompt: bathing together / dressed in love Word Count: 649 Tags: reader is afab, no pronouns used
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The last time you and Will were in the bathroom together, only you were in the bath and he was seated by your side. It should have come as no surprise then, when Will suggested joining you this time. 
He was already in the bath, when you entered the room. After you disrobed, he extended his hand  to you to help you in. The water was nice and warm as your body sank into the bath, the sweet scent of roses enveloping you as Will pulled you close in his arms.
“Thank you,” you sighed as your body settled between his legs. 
He reached for your hand, lacing his fingers through yours, he brought your joined hands to his lips and brushed a chaste kiss across your knuckles. “What for, my darling robin?” he asked.
“For granting my wish.”
“I told you there would be another time, my darling robin,” he replied softly, placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder. “I’m happy to grant this and any of your wishes.” His voice took on a provocative tone, his breath warm on your skin as he whispered in your ear. “All of them.”
So tempting, you thought as you felt your body temperature rise, and not from the water you were soaking in.
He wrapped his arm around your waist, his blood red nails tickling your skin under the water. “That’s better,” he said as your back pressed against his chest, your head tilting back to rest upon his shoulder. 
“We should do this again,” he murmured as he pressed gentle kisses along the slope of your shoulder. He dragged his hand down your thigh, disappearing once more under the water. Your breath hitched with the expectation of where his hand would wander. But he didn’t go far; his hand, barely under the water, rested on the top of your thigh, his thumb stroking the sensitive skin of the inner part. 
There was something alluring about being unable to face Will fully. Every movement, every touch, every word whispered was a happy little surprise. 
When he nipped you, a bit harder than expected, you let out a tiny gasp . 
“I’m sorry, did I hurt my darling robin?” he asked, running his tongue gently over the spot he bit. 
You tilted your face back, needing to see his expression. He smiled at you softly, his chin resting on your shoulder looking quite adorable. Your body flooded with heat again, and you knew if you didn’t get out now, you’d both be in there long after the water got cold.
“I’m ready to get out now,” you said softly. He nodded, then stood up and stepped out of the bath. Like earlier, he extended his hand to assist you as you climbed out from the water. 
Grabbing a fluffy towel, you quickly dried off before your body could get cold. Nightgown in hand, you were about to slip it over your head when a pair of arms snaked around your waist. 
“Put this on instead,” he whispered in your ear.
“It would be my pleasure,” you said, taking his shirt from his hand. He released you from his arms, allowing you space to slip your arms into the sleeves. He spun you around to face him, his eyes lingering on your barely covered chest. 
He brought his hands to your collar and began to button the shirt, his fingers nimbly pushing the buttons through the holes of the dark fabric, his red nails like rose petals falling down the midnight sky. 
“I always wanted to see you in my shirt. You’re just as adorable as I imagined.” He kissed the tip of your nose, your cheeks warming once more. He placed another kiss on your lips, then your cheek, and then the rim of your ear. 
“I can’t wait to see how you look when I take this shirt off of you.”
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Tagging: @redheadkittys @themiscarnival   @coral-relevium @cyberk1ee  @kookie-my-little-sunshine    
@pathogenic @ellisgivesmelife013 @ikemen-writer   @nightghoul381 @judejazza  
@xbalayage @xenokiryu @alydra @drachonia @ranhanabi777
@silver-dahlia @lunaaka @ikesenwritings @sh0jun
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narrans · 3 days
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My Borrowed Son | 20 | Crush(ed)
Chapter Twenty | Crush(ed)
“No! It’s because you’re a nerd and know way too much about space,” teased Selina. Both she and Parker were howling with laughter after an in-depth conversation about space and the different elements of it.
Space. Stars. Comets. Black holes. Meteors and meteorites.
Everything Selina had a question about, Parker had an answer for, which naturally led to her teasing him. They had spent the past few hours going back and forth in discussion, playfully talking and teasing one another the entire time.
And this wasn’t the first time they’d spent most of a Saturday morning talking well into the afternoon and sometimes evening. For the past few months, the two of them could be found talking to one another either on discord or through messaging apps.
For Parker, it was a good distraction from the past few weeks during his relative obsession with the mysterious drill bit and the odd shadow he thought he saw when his eyes were playing tricks on him. Just last week, he even dared to venture into the walls and explore that mysterious space between the drywall and the supporting beams that made up his home.
He didn’t find anything, not that he thought he would, but there was still some odd sensation lingering in his chest that there was something that he was missing.
“I mean, seriously!” grinned Selina as she leaned forward toward her webcam. Parker snapped back to the conversation and kept his mind from wandering any further into the unknown. “Why do you know that there are almost ten thousand satellites orbiting Earth right now?”
“Nine thousand, four hundred, ninety-four active satellites. Let’s be precise,” grinned Parker.
“Oh what-ev-er!” Selina giggled. “What I want to know is how you managed to steer the conversation into space when we were talking about our upcoming Mario Kart tournament.”
Parker, grinning from ear to ear, felt his cheeks pinken as he looked up into the camera, imagining looking into Selina’s eyes instead of the cold lens that was in front of him.
“Well, you know there are a lot of different themes and arenas to choose from when playing Mario Kart and we were trying to decide which one would be the best. I think that the space themed one would be best,” pointed out Parker.
Somehow, the room was feeling a tad warm, and Parker was feeling nervous and giddy. It was like butterflies were swirling around in his chest. What was this feeling?
“I know, but there are a dozen other designs we could go with. There’s the original and the rainbow road. I love the rainbow road!” moaned Selina playfully. Parker chuckled and shook his head.
“We always do rainbow road. We need to mix things up a bit. Come on! We need to make a decision to send out in the group text today,” said Parker. He reached up and ruffled his hair, noticing that the length was starting to get a tad long and that his mom was probably going to notice any day now.
“Oh, don’t be a spoil sport,” Selina teased. “Why don’t you come on! We need to celebrate! We just finished finals. You, as usual, were in the top three – ya’ nerd – but I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”
Parker’s cheeks burned hot with embarrassment. It was true. The finals went off without a hitch and Parker found his scores near the top of his peers, which was significant considering he was in the advanced classes with kids who were a little bit older than himself. The scores, for Parker, were a tad bittersweet.
On one hand, being part of the top meant that Parker was on a lot of honors emails and celebrations and shout-outs. It looked really good for his transcripts, especially since he was already considering specialized high schools and college programs that accepted students who were much younger than the average student.
Parker considered himself fortunate enough that his mother wasn’t pressuring him into any particular program. She wanted him to be happy, but the one thing that would really make Parker happy came with the bitter part of the bittersweet.
A lot of those accolades and awards came with get-togethers and parties – none of which Parker could attend except virtually.
It wasn’t the same.
Parker wanted to be able to go to these parties. He wanted to see his friends in person. He had known a lot of these people for three years and he had never met them face to face. Even the upcoming Mario Kart tournament was going to be in-person at his friend Bailey’s house, but everyone but Parker would be able to show up.
“Parker?”
“Hm?... oh… yeah,” stammered Parker as he found focus back on the conversation. He remembered Selina calling him a nerd after talking about finishing finals and not expecting anything less from him. “I am a bit of a nerd.”
Selina eyed Parker through the camera and leaned forward, those hypnotic eyes capturing Parker’s attention. He squirmed under her gaze. It was like she could see straight through him. If he wasn’t sure she didn’t know about his size, he would say that she guessed it simply because of this one look.
“Parker? Are you okay?” asked Selina. It was a question Parker didn’t care for recently. He wanted to answer honestly – which was no. No, he didn’t feel okay. Everything in his body was hurting and aching randomly. He didn’t feel comfortable in his own frame, and that was coming from him and his proud nearly four inches. His dreams had been odd recently. He was so spooked because he thought he saw a shadow that he literally ventured into the walls to find out if he was crazy.
But how could he articulate it? How could he get Selina to understand?
“Bummed about not coming to the party?” Selina’s prompting question brought a whole new level to Parker’s mental scramble, so he decided to go with that being the main reason.
“Yeah, a bit,” mumbled Parker. “But it’s okay. I’ll be able to call in through Discord.”
Selina rolled her eyes, which was a classic Selina move, and shook her head.
“I still can’t believe you put up with that,” she grumbled. This comment took Parker aback just a bit, and it wasn’t like him to just leave it alone. He decided to ask for clarification.
“Put up with that?” Parker asked. Selina gave an animated shrug and flared her fingers as if to say “duh.”
“Yeah, constantly being on lockdown. You talk about you having some weird condition that makes you fragile, but you don’t seem all that fragile to me. It just doesn’t make any sense to me. Can’t you ask your mom to let you come just this once?” said Selina. Her tone took on a weird combination of whining and pleading.
The familiar disappointing sensation crept over Parker, making his chest feel tight, as he solemnly shook his head.
“Selina, I can’t. I mean, I could ask my mom, but… my condition… I don’t think it’s a good idea,” said Parker.
“But why?” insisted Selina.
“Selina…”
“What? You’ve never really given a straight answer.”
“Because not everyone would be careful with me,” said Parker, for the first time raising his voice in frustration. He hoped Selina would drop the issue, but the determined look in her eye said otherwise. In fact, she looked terse and frustrated.
“Well… I’d be careful with you….” Selina grumbled. “And what does that even mean? Careful with you? Parker, I hope you know I’d never hurt you. I… I really like you…”
Parker’s world came to a complete stop hearing Selina’s words.
Like? Like him?
As in… she had a crush on him?
It would absolutely make sense. It would explain Selina’s behavior recently. She was very complementary. She was giddy and giggling most of the time. It reminded Parker of the romantic comedies that his mom liked to watch from time to time.
Parker remembered his mom talking to him about how things would be changing and the odd question of whether or not he liked any of his classmates. Only now did the teen realize this is what she meant.
Taken aback, Parker felt himself stammer, “L-like? Me?” before he could even stop himself. Selina, now blushing a bright pink, nodded bashfully.
“Yeah. I really like you, and I was hoping you would go with me to the party as my boyfriend.”
Parker’s head swirled. His heart was going to burst out of his chest. Everything was tingling inside of him. His insides actually felt like they were filled with butterflies now.
“I… you mean it?” asked Parker. Selina glanced up at the camera and bit her lower lip, which made Parker feel his heart begin to race, as she nodded.
“Yeah. Yeah, I mean it. So? Will you be my boyfriend?” asked Selina. Parker took in a couple nervous breaths. He thought about how Selina made him feel and how he felt excited and jittery when they were talking.
Was this love?
Parker wasn’t sure, but he knew he did like Selina.
“Well… yeah. Let’s do it,” grinned Parker. Both of them couldn’t stop smiling as they continued to glance nervously at one another through the camera. The young teen felt at a loss for words, but less than a minute had passed when Selina broke the silence.
“Great! Now, as my boyfriend, you have to tell me everything about you. Do I even know your favorite color? Oh, that’s right! It’s green. Like dark green. Okay. Got that. Um… yeah! So, tell me more about your mom. No. Wait. I can ask her when I meet her. Um… let’s see… Oh! I’ve got it!
“Since you’re my boyfriend and you always have to tell the truth to whatever question I ask, tell me more about your condition. Like, what makes you fragile? And you have to ask your mom – no, tell your mom that you’re going to the party.” Selina spouted off everything so fast that Parker’s head was starting to spin.
Some of what Selina said made a bit of sense. Honesty was a good policy, according to his mom, but he had never opened up to anyone about the specifics of his condition. Parker had always been secretive simply because he knew his condition was rare and that things were odd surrounding it.
It was now that the same sensation crept over him that kept him guarded. It was the same sensation that made Parker shy away from his mom’s hand and the feeling that led him into the walls.
For one reason or another, Parker’s instinct was to keep his condition a secret – and that’s what he did.
“Um… well… I… don’t know what else there is to say about it other than what I’ve told you,” said Parker, realizing how lame he sounded after the words came out of him. The look Selina gave him only confirmed that he was in trouble.
“Parker, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. You can trust me with this. Don’t you trust me?” Selina bristled.
Parker felt taken aback and defensive all of a sudden. He’d never come across something like this before. He felt hollow and nervous, but also a bit angry.
Why was this an issue now? She’d never wanted to know before, so why was there additional pressure now?
“Selina, I do trust you. It’s just… there’s nothing else to tell,” urged Parker. He felt the same sensation creep over him as he kept his condition a secret – and it was one of reassurance. For whatever reason, Parker knew he was doing the right thing not saying anything else other than what his mom trained him to say.
Selina tossed her hair and folded her arms before retorting, “I don’t believe you. I don’t think you’re telling me the truth. If I were Bailey, I’d bet you’d tell. You two are sooo close.”
“Bailey? What does Bailey have to do with this? And of course we’re close. We’re best friends. Why are you bringing her into this? We were just talking about the get-together,” asked Parker, meaning to ask this to himself instead of out loud, but there was no retracting his words now.
“Oh, I don’t know. What does she have to do with this? Does she know? Would you tell her more if she asked,” accused Selina.
Disbelievingly, Parker shook his head as it began to swirl. “Selina, Bailey doesn’t have anything to do with this. She knows just as much as you do, which is what all of my friends know about me. I’m just a bit fragile and different. That’s all.”
What is happening? Where is this coming from?
“Parker, I can’t accept this. If you don’t tell me, I’m breaking up with you,” threatened Selina.
Parker couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Breaking up? They were barely together? Was this how all girls were?
He knew he liked Selina, but he wasn’t sure if he liked her in the same way. Sure, he enjoyed their time together, but all of this was really sudden.
Not only that, but Parker inevitably knew that his condition was something that Selina would have to deal with. He knew the lengths his mom went to in order to help him. Was that something Selina would be up to? Did he dare disclose his condition in full to save this five minute long relationship?
A million things hit him all at once, both for the immediate situation in front of him and for a future he felt like he was too young to comprehend.
He bit his lip as he felt himself crushed under the weight of what Selina just said. It was a lot – possibly too much – for right now. As much as he liked Selina, Parker wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell her everything.
Parker made his decision.
Between his instinct of keeping his height and condition close to his chest and Selina’s sudden erratic behavior, he knew what needed to happen.
“I… I don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing else to tell,” said Parker. Selina rolled her eyes and shook her head.
“Well, I guess that’s the end of that. Goodbye Parker. Have fun telling your girlfriend Bailey the same thing and see how she reacts. Next time a girl wants you to open up, maybe you should listen.” With that, the call was cut.
Parker, dazed and confused, felt like he had been punched in the gut repeatedly. He hoped he didn’t just lose his friend, and he hoped that none of his other friends were feeling the same way Selina was. If they were just as frustrated with Parker’s lack of additional explanation about his condition as Selina was, he would be friendless by the start of the party.
Chest heavy and sad, Parker closed down his computer, slunk over to his bed, and flopped down on the squashy mattress. He stared at the ceiling for several minutes as he contemplated everything that just happened.
Curses…
Yet another thing he would never be able to do face to face…
Why?
Why him?
Why was he so different?
And would he ever find that true sense of belonging?
~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~
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suempu · 10 hours
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HAI i forgot if i requested this already but can you do hc’s for laios or kabru with amab reader? gn reader is okay if not ❤️
dom reader for laios’ part + switch kabru + tall man reader + nsfw
<3
kabru.
he likes playing a certain push and pull game with you, the art of trying to be the more dominant one whenever you two get intimate. its similar to a wrestling match and a chess game to him, which makes it enjoyable and fun.
although if you asked him which position you’d like to be for the night, he’d agree (but not without a few cheeky teasing, its kabru after all).
he’s roughly your height, about 2-4 inches apart. loves to rest his forehead on yours because of it. just the feeling of closeness and warmth of your skin makes him happy.
like from my previous kabru hcs, he’s very attentive, especially as a lover. hugging, cuddling or just laying your head on his shoulder is your main source of comfort whenever he pulls you away from the party or during alone time.
if you’re as tall as him, he likes to put his head on your chest and just nap. kind of like a cat with the way he nuzzles into you.
regardless if he takes the lead in bed or not, he will always be unfair and cheeky. whenever you come out on top, he’ll be disobedient and bratty. but only in a way that gets you mildly annoyed.
“get on the bed, i’ll prep you.” you smile, huffing as you sit on the edge.
“but what if i don’t want to?”
you frown at him. “its gonna hurt.”
“what if i want it to hurt?”
you gave him a deadpan expression. “get on the fucking bed.”
he’ll laugh it off, he finds it fun to mess with you.
laios.
if you’re tall then he’s like about 4-6 inches higher than you, which is the perfect height for you to give him surprise pecks. you could literally just talk to him normally, look at him and just sneak in a kiss. he’ll need a few seconds to process it, making you laugh before he blushes and smiles.
laios loves your praise of course, especially in bed, but if you say it in a gentle voice, it gets him kinda giddy.
“so behave. thank you, baby.” cooing at him, you rub the space under his eyes.
he’s a grown man and he’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself, but knowing that you love him and that you’re always there to support him will never fail to have an affect on his heart.
he loves to be loved and loves to love (if that makes sense.)
i’ve mentioned it before, how laios would accidentally break some stuff during sex but there was an instance where he scratched your back while squeezing too tight that it lead to you actually spraining a muscle.
he got so guilty afterwards, he refused to touch your dick or any lower part of your body for a whole month. laios was on the verge of tears but you merely laughed it off and kissed his cheekbone.
“i feel so bad. i’m sorry!” he yells hysterically.
you were in front of the mirror, turning around to inspect yourself before smirking at the red marks on your back. “i dunno, i kinda like this one.”
now laios likes being in your lap, not really sitting on it but he lays on it similarly to how a dog would. his torso is on your lap while his head rests on your stomach. he loves the head pats and the affection after all.
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hotluncheddie · 2 days
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t4t chubby autistic steddie GO
i have been thinking about this (nsfw from twitter!!) art lately so i am here with u <3
even tho i get nervous to write trans characters, idk why, i just don't wanna mess it up i think
but im doing my best!! bc autistic and gender exploration are very lovely wonderful cozy subjects so i'm gonna focus on that
this is such a string of ideas but - 4 u <3 :3c
Stevie leaves with Eddie and Robin, taking their trust fund and leaving their parents to it - too the rest of their lives - without her. Like the Harringtons always hoped, really.
Stevie doesn't need them, the money is useful but they offer nothing more to her.
She's able to buy an apartment. In Chicago. With her loves. They learn how to live. How to live together. How to be at peace.
There's big bright widows in the main space, with light and air and the sunset. The two bedrooms are cozy and warm and it's a place for them all to grow.
'There's chips here.' Eddie says. They have a matching day off and she's trying to practice what it is to do nothing, to truly rest. Eddie helps, by being there, keeping her still with his hands and his love.
But Stevie tenses up, she was snacking, has been snacking, trying to learn her hunger signals better - what they feel like to her. It was always a rule not to east in her room, not to eat between meals. But she was hungry, she had a snack.
'I'm not judging, I'm saying so we remember to take it out next time one of us goes to the kitchen.' Eddie says, coming back from changing the tape, kissing her. Kissing her and kissing her.
Stevie relaxes.
'You've gained a little weight.' Robin says, laying on Stevies thighs on the couch, crocheting while Stevie watches sports and rubs her knuckles agains her teeth, twirling a strand of Robins hair in her fingers.
She looks down at her best friend. Robin looks back at her.
Robin smiles.
'It's good. You look more like you than you ever have before.'
Stevie smiles back. Tries not to cry.
Stevie letting herself change, relax. Unlearn those eating habits that helped her feel in control. Instead allowing herself to enjoy, and eat the things she wants to, the things she likes.
Eats pasta every night for a month and doesn’t feel bad about it. Doesn’t force herself to eat kale because she hates it, spinach is good enough. She is good enough.
Eddie gets little chubbier, in this new life. After recovering from nearly dying. Explains to Stevie in his long lilting way that he likes it, feels more protected, like his skin isn’t so fragile now.
He’s never liked his body but now he truly knows how short life is, and, maybe he can learn to like this new one. In this new place, in the love that surrounds him.
Plus, the bats destroyed his chest. So without that in the way, no longer lurking and potentially ruining his day. He realises he can shed that background fixation he always seemed to have with thinness. The idea that it would make him look more masculine or more androgynous. Curves were for girls and Eddie was not. That.
But now, now, who fucking cares. He’s alive. He needs to eat.
Steve feels a finger trailing over her hip, dipping into the band of her underwear, skimming over her crack and the the ridges of stretch marks that lead up to her waist.
'So so pretty' Eddie whispers, and it's filled with so much awe, so much grace, so much reverence and love.
Stevie shivers, feeling endless and grounded and like her body is here and hers and everything she ever dreamed of because it exists now.
She puts her hand under her loose shirt, cupping her belly. Skin still sleep warm and the energy of her palm seems to cover her whole body in warmth, in light and softness. Tinging and bright. Still being traced lightly by the love of her life. But being loves by her own hands, now, too.
She exists. And finally, everything is beautiful.
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senanatheskenana · 20 hours
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Giyuu, Sanemi, and Rengoku With Baby Fever
TW: mentions of pregnancy, Sex, fem reader
Giyuu Tomioka
He hadn't put much thought into domestic life- after all, you were his first real relationship. However, when he lays eyes on your happy smile and the way you fussed over the three younger demon slayers, he can't help the feeling that pools in the pit of his stomach. A primal need for you, for a family. He's not particularly proud of the human weakness he currently experiences but each time he looks your way, his strength melts away, leaving only his desire to create life with you.
His smile is small but amused at how you motherly coddle Inosuke, attempting to wipe the mass of dirt off his face, despite his protests. Tanjirou seems almost as enamoured by your sweet behaviour as Giyuu is.
You can tell something is different with Giyuu- the way he holds your hand is just slightly tighter, the way he looks at you ever so slightly hungrier than you've seen. He stares off into space in contented silence, and you feel he is happiest in those moments. The idea made you curious as to what he was daydreaming about.
'Three children, maybe more' he thinks, pink tinging his cheeks at feeling so soft for you. He imagines what life outside of the corp- life with you- would be like. Blissful, peaceful, connecting but of course with moments of excitement and frustration that come from raising children. Maybe your children would have his hair and your eyes- or perhaps they will look the opposite, or exactly like you or him.
His cheeks once again flare up when another thought hits his head.
'And (y/n) would surely only become more beautiful over the years'
"Giyuu~." He is snapped out of his fantasy by your hand over his. "What are you thinking about?"
He gently squeezes your hand, looking deep into your eyes with humility as he thinks through the right words to say.
"We've been married for a year, and we haven't talked about it yet. I would completely understand if you object... but i have a request, that involves both of us." you listen eagerly to him.
"Sweetheart, i will always try my best to understand your wants, there's no reason to seem so nervous," you smile tenderly at him, hands coming up to cup his cheeks. The apples of his cheeks burst into flames at your touch, butterflies erupting underneath the skin of his shuddering chest.
"(Y/N) I love you. I will always love you... And if you will be so kind, I would like to start a family with you"
He sees your face break into a smile, which makes him smile. Before he knows it you're climbing into his lap and kissing him with a passion that fills him with a need he has never experienced.
Kyojurou Rengoku
Kyojurou was sure he wanted children at some point, and as your husband, he made you aware of this, in case it wasn't for you. For the most part, your husband had great self-control.
However, it always seems to slip away when his younger brother makes a comment, about how your baby would probably have bright hair like theirs. At first, it's just that thought, but soon he's thinking about baby names, daydreaming and kicking his legs behind him giggling. You easily notice your cheerful husband becoming even more giddy than usual- not to mention far more physically affectionate.
He finds every excuse under the sun to get you under him. He takes his time, forehead pressed against yours, enraptured in pleasure. Your legs are pressed to your chest; a new position for you. The sheer depth is enough to make you dizzy, even without moving.
Kyojurou looks deeply into your eyes before kissing you passionately, sensually, as if the world is ending.
"Honey, i think we should have a baby!" he huffs out in between languid thrusts. You thought he'd never ask.
"Me too, Kyo~"
Sanemi Shinazugawa
Sanemi doesn't not want kids. He just feels he would be a bad father given all of his hangups. He worries he won't be emotionally available for a child, or might accidentally scare them when he is angry.
So this feeling is conflicted within him. On one hand, he's utterly in love with you and the way you care for Genya is heartwarming to the point of actually convincing him he might be ok if you were by his side. On the other, he was terrified of being a bad parent.
Sanemi swears you look so pretty holding your friend's new baby. You hold it like you're accustomed to it like it was yours. And you just look so fucking happy like that. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing if he- no, he couldn't just rush into these things. But you look so pretty he's having a hard time rationalising anything.
He sits beside you, peering down at the baby that tries to grasp at his fingers. It's actually sort of cute, he thinks. Then you look up at him, and he's caught off guard by a vision of you and your own baby. Your friend has to physically bite back giggles while she watches the motions of Sanemi's thoughts. She knows what's happening better than he does.
She sparks up a conversation with you to see how flustered she can make the hashira on this topic. "You know, past the halfway mark I gave up putting on my own pants- it got too annoying when I couldn't see over the bump and boobs. My husband had to help me instead!"
It seems to work like a charm. Sanemi almost zones out, thinking about how you would look pregnant. Without realising it he is salivating at the thought of your swollen chest and round tummy. 'fuck,' he thinks, 'that sounds good'
Half an hour later he's rushing to leave, hastily pulling your coat over your shoulders and waving goodbye to the baby. He didn't dislike being there in any way- he'd just rather be somewhere else with you. He tugs you down the road, looking at you with a strange new fervour, eyes darting to your lips and tummy.
Your friend closes the door behind you with a mischievous grin. "I'll give it a week before she's pregnant<3"
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angelsanarchy · 1 day
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Righteousness of Man: Kappa x Y/N- Mini Series PRT 03
Tagging: @icarus-star @ithinkitstimetonap @kappasbbgirl @chainsawgvtsfvck @luzclarita57 @miniisunshine @romanroyapoligist @madamemaximoff06 @thirtyratsinasuit @ethical-cain-vinnel @blueberrypancakesworld @dumbbitchdelrey @loljustignoreth4t @tvgirlsbluehair @s0ulfulll @mommymilkers0526 @vomiting-blood @ultrakissed @hisemoslut @lustkillers @s-0lar @roryculkinsgf dukesofsp00ks thirtyratsinasuit
Y/n had become a big part of the community in the next few months. People looked to her when Kappa wasn't easily accessible and she was always happy to help. The one thing Kappa noticed more than how well she had acclimated into the family is how she showed them all affection.
He would never admit that he was jealous of how they leaned into her touch when she gave them encouragement or how she would kiss their faces before they all turned in for the night. Kappa would never admit that the idea of her sharing her kisses and touches with anyone other than him made his blood boil in a way it never had with any of the other women he had relations with. He wanted to reserve all of her intimacy for him and him alone.
He approached her as she held the face of Epslon in her hands and tugged on her elbow. She turned to look at him confused slightly before she gave a sweet smile and walked off towards him.
"Why are you hovering today?" Y/n asked making Kappa glance at her unimpressed.
"Why can't you seem to keep your hands to yourself?" Kappa answered her question with a question and she chuckled.
"Didn't you just get blown by one of those little peaches just a few days ago? Am I not allowed the same fluidity as you?" Y/n cocked her eyebrow at Kappa who narrowed his gaze.
"I do not share you." He spoke firmly and Y/n turned her body towards him.
"And you expect me to share you? You expect me to be this kept woman who only recieves intamacy from you whenever and however you want it?" She stepped into his space and he took a deep breath. She smelled sweet, like cherries or strawberries. It was intoxicating.
"I expect you to mother these people. Show them grace and love in a more appropriate way." Kappa's voice almost seemed like he was chastising her. She let out a laugh and gave him a playful shove.
"Is that what you do? Make these girls suck your cock and call you daddy?" She teased but Kappa rolled his eyes.
"Why do you feel the need to buck against everything I say? Is it so hard for you to listen to a simple command? Keep your fucking hands to yourself and there won't be any problems." Kappa said again and Y/n pouted.
"What kind of problems am I causing exactly? Last I checked, you like when I put my hands on you." She ran her hands down his chest and he watched them slither all the way down to his belt.
"Me...I like when you put your hands on me...only me." Kappa put his hands on top of Y/n's and she licked her lips.
"You know what you have to do if you want me to behave. I'm not going to share my body with you and have you whore yourself to everyone in this community." Y/n explained. Kappa didn't like her giving him ultimatums.
"You don't make the rules here sugar. I do. Who I fuck is up to me." Kappa's words made Y/n sigh as she took her hands off of his belt.
"How disappointing." She patted him slightly on the chest before walking back over to the others, spinning one of the girls around as she danced to the music coming from one of the vans. Kappa continued to watch from afar as she moved about the camp. She had completely disregarded what he had said about keeping her hands to herself.
"Would you like a massage Kappa?" One of the girls had approached him as he sat in a chair and he shook his head. She wasn't the only girl he shooed away that day. He continued to reject the advances from the other women until she he saw Y/n enter his trailer. He walked in a few minutes after her and she turned to face him.
"Would you prefer to bring your girls in here tonight or will you be fucking them in their own beds?" Y/n asked, a hint of a challenge in her tone. Kappa clicked the lock on the door behind himself before pressing his body against hers.
"You don't listen to anything I say." He gripped her neck, letting his palm hold her jaw.
"I have a daddy, I don't need another." She replied tilting her head away from his hand. He responded by gripping her jaw tighter.
"I don't want to be your daddy. I want to be yours...and you mine. Only mine....only yours." Kappa had conceded to her. She smiled slyly moving his hand from her jaw down between her legs. She had already gotten rid of her panties and allowed him to dip his fingers into her wet pussy briefly. Kappa pulls his hand back and looks at how wet she already is.
"You want me to be all yours, make me yours then." Kappa dipped his wet fingers into her mouth and she sucked her own juices from his filthy fingertips. Her hands yank his belt open and he pushes his pants just far enough down to free his cock, lifting her onto the counter and letting her guide him into her dripping cunt. They both make noises of pleasure, as this was the first time he had actually fucked her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her hands into his greasy hair.
"That's it. Just like that. Make me yours." She moaned letting her head fall back against the cabinet, banging it roughly a few times as he bucked his cock up inside of her.
"You were made just for me. No one else will ever feel you like this." Kappa bit her breast and she groaned.
"Show the world I am yours Kappa. Show them why they can't touch what's yours." She praised him, running her hands down his back and grabbing his bare ass cheeks to try and shove him further inside of herself.
"I'll kill them. I'll kill them all if they ever touch you." Kappa's thrusts started to become sloppy and Y/n knew he was going to cum soon.
"I'm almost there. Fuck me harder Kappa, please!" She begged but Kappa couldn't hold off any longer as he came inside of her milking his cock inside her walls before removing his spent cock and replacing it with three of his fingers.
"Come on baby, cum on my fingers. You can do it. I want you to cum." Kappa held her gaze, one hand on her throat, the other shoving his cum inside of her pussy and expertly using his thumb to circle her swollen clit. Her moan turned into a scream and he felt a rush of her own release running down his palm. He quickly slipped back inside of her with his semi hard cock and her legs started to shake atop the counter.
"Shhhh shhh it's okay. It's okay. I've got you darlin." Kappa cooed at her as he slowly pushed his cock inside of her to keep both of their cum inside of her, a squelching noise vulgarly filling the silence of them trying to catch their breaths.
"Say you're mine." Kappa rested his forehead against Y/n's, feeling her breath against his face.
"You say you're mine first." She demanded making him chuckle.
"I am yours, only yours." He bumped his forehead against her own. She was hardheaded but he liked that about her. She opened her eyes and kissed his lips softly. It was a sweet gesture that they had skipped right over in the beginning of things but now felt so loving.
"And I am yours, only yours."
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clingylilhoneybee · 2 years
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hushed-chorus · 5 months
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Childhood abuse is real.
Resulting PTSD and C-PTSD is real.
A higher proportion of ex-foster care kids have PTSD than do war veterans but they are vastly underdiagnosed
Ex-foster kids are far more likely to end up homeless, addicted to drugs, dying young, etc. I could go on, but won't.
Childhood neglect and abuse cannot be cured with a hug
Being triggered is not a 'personal choice'
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xskyll · 2 months
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I just need to vent. Someone made a podfic of one of my fics a short while back. Yesterday, they told me they were monetizing their channel and asked permission to put ads on their podfic of my story. I'm very glad they asked permission, so I could say no, but all the same, I can't help but feel so angry. I would never go to someone and say, "Hey, do you mind if I make money reading aloud your story that you spent months and months slaving over, while you don't make a single cent? Do you mind if I throw ads on this thing you poured your soul into, turning your love letter to fandom into another cog in the capitalist money machine?" I just imagine someone listening to my description of Shouto fighting Bakugou and listening to him bare his soul about his toxic behaviors—I scene I tried to craft with such care—and just before Izuku kisses Shouto's black eye, an ad for a Kia plays.
Part of me is wondering if I'm overacting—I know some people would say, 'it's just fanfiction, calm down'—but a larger part of me is like, "The absolute gall! YOU making money using MY heart???"
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tvuniverse · 1 month
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Listen i just want to preface this by saying I don't even personally hate Tommy, but that's not really the point i want to make so here goes nothing.
The way a lot of people act as if it's impossible to dislike him because the characters have moved on so so should we, right? and that's the thing right here, as poc we're always being told to move on. We can't express our feelings, we can't hold grudges, we can't complain about issues without making it something more than it is, we always have to just... move on.
I know people are going to say it's just a show, it's not that serious, but the issues it touches on and the way fandom speaks on those issues are.
I've seen a lot of comparisons between Tommy and other mains, how each of them are flawed and have screwed up one way or another, and you're right, but it's still unfair to compare him to them. We've seen each of the main characters experience guilt, or be ashamed of their action, we've seen them apologise, put in the work to actually grow, and they have. There's not enough time in an episode for us to see that for side characters. In this case, Tommy didn't do any of the above and that's normal, he was a plot device to show some very real societal issues, and especially what people of colour/women might go through in the workplace, and once he served his purpose he didn't get much more beyond a few scenes where it seemed like everything was fine between him and chim/hen. It would be more appropriate to compare him to the buckley parents, (who appeared in more or less the same amount of episodes) like if people suddendly started saying no one is allowed to hate them because they got their redemption, their kids more or less forgave them, they more or less tried to be better parents. And yet it's still not enough for a lot of people, because how they treated their children, the shit they've said to them, hits a little too close to home for a lot of people and so no matter what the show says or does, they'll still be mostly hated by the audience, and that's more than okay. But if margaret buckley is your favourite character than by all means be my guest. And listen, i love this show, it's all about hope, and it means everyone gets a redemption arc, as short as it is (sometimes even just a sentence lol), but we won't always be satisfied with these arcs, especially if they don't feel proportional to the hurt the characters may have caused to our mains, so we'll all have different reactions to them.
I swear liking a morally ambiguous/grey character says absolutely nothing about you, but making excuses for them, antagonising people who might dislike them (for good reasons) or acting like suddenly triggers don't exist for people, does say something about you. One of my favourite characters is literally the worst person ever, an actual bigot, but i won't ever write essays about why people are not allowed to dislike him actually because he's my babygirl.. i very much understand why people would.
All of this to say, everyone will have different opinions about Tommy. Some might love him, some will be completely neutral or at worst slightly uncomfortable/bothered by him, and some will straight up hate him, and all of these are fine. Live and let live, love whoever you want to love, and hate whoever you want to hate, but please stop trying to dictate how others should feel, i'm begging. And this really does go both ways.
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iamanartichoke · 1 year
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I made the mistake of scrolling the dash last night, hoping to re-engage my Loki fandom feels, only to be reminded of why I've more or less quit this fandom - which, for the record, is bc I don't know if it's purity culture or "woke" culture or just "for the love of god, I'm begging you to touch grass" culture, but I'd like to engage with my blorbo without running into posts spouting takes like "saying Loki has small, slender hands is a feminization kink (and therefore bad)." Like?? I think there's something inherently anti-genderfluidity(?) to assume that men can't have small, slender hands or that having small, slender hands is automatically a feminine trait, and also Loki does have small, slender hands, and also even if it is being written as some kind of a kink, so what? Why are we kink-shaming?
I mean, I don't know, it just seems like there are more and more and more things that are being shamed, or criticized, based on an arbitrary sense of morality that undermines fiction as a creative, explorative form of art and it's just beyond exhausting - and fucking obnoxious - at this point.
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taegularities · 1 year
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hope you're all liking the epilogue and that you enjoyed the whole series in general. thank you for giving it so much love and support. can't wait to share more 🤍
#i'll be completely honest#you guys n the love you give are the reason why i'm still here#bc there are days and weeks when i.... don'tenjoytumblranymore#it's not bc of interaction or anything bc my god you guys talk to me so much ily :(#but tumblr has changed... the bts fandom has changed. the dash is literally EMPTY#it feels so different from when i joined back early 2021... everyone was so happy and loud back then#and so enthusiastic about writing too... like i still fkn love writing all i write#but the level of excitement about writing has changed.. it's why i try to take it slower these days#my god i used to have a schedule lmao could never today 💀#but yeah idk... sometimes im like... this isn't fun anymore and maybe it's time to give up#but that's exactly when y'all come thru and say something SUPER SWEET and i'm like.. wait ykw#i love this space.. it's still comfort and warmth#so yeah thank you for giving me hope and keeping me here you mean so much to me#the platform changes and sucks sometimes but you guys remain here and are as fucking kind as ever and#make this little community irreplaceable#i love you#and yeah. i just needed to get this off my chest bc it has been on my mind for rlly long#especially since those community labels butchered and changed interaction :/ like i just know the c&f family could've been#a lot bigger if not for the label on pt1.. could've really been one of the biggest stories around here but lol it is what it is !! the love#is overwhelming as it is so thank you <3#okay that's way too long pls ignore me bye#tdl???
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having Big Feelings in the tags. you neednt read them, but you should go drink water and stretch your eyes
#makin one of those posts thats all tags bc i need to just do emotions for a sec#98% of the time i fuckin love being aroace. i like how i exist in the world and our flags fucking baller#but wooo boy that 2% of the time (my current state)#nothin makes you stare into space despondently while crying silently like knowing therenothing *wrong* w you per se#but there something fundamental to your existence that means your emotional needs will very likely never be met the way you need them to be#my roommate whom i love with my whole entire soul has their partner over whom i also love with my whole entire soul#and its making me so agonizingly jealous bc i want what they have so badly it actually literaly fucking aches in my chest#i want the banter and the cuddling and the intimacy and the love. the goodnight phonecalls and the undeniable proof that i am loved just#as much as i love and that i am a peiority in someone else's life to the same degree that i prioritize them#but i know i dont get to have that because i cant do it the way almost anybody wants#i want to fall asleep next to someone but i dont want to date. i wont do it. it makes me so uncomfortable#but without performing romance theres almsot no chance ill get to have that kind of deeply intertwined life#and like. i love my friends dearly and deeply. i vall them the loves of my life bc they are#but even those relationships wont get to be like what i want so bad. they all have or want romance and i know how that works#it doesnt matter that they love me too because when you have a partner thats the priority. i get it. its fine.#i dont mind stepping back from my friends to give them room to build the lives they want.#i jusy want somone to want to build a life with *me*#dont mind me in just tired and sad and experiencing the agonies of being 22#theres a part of me that looks at all this and just says 'maybe someday' but ive been living off nothing bu 'someday' most of my life#and im dead fucking tired of it#idk man maybe im just mentally ill and have mommy issues who knows#anyway im going to bed now#if you know me irl and you read all this 1)this is NOT meant to imply youre doing something wrong. not your fault amatonormativity is this#2) ill be fine i just need to sleep and 3) i love you more than i know how to say and i always will no matter what shape our lives take
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