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vxlkyrie · 4 years

Text

bittersweet - iii

pairing: spencer reid x reader, jay halstead x reader, sonny carisi x reader

genre: angst, fluff

warning: cursing, violence, graphic crime details, mentions of rape, mentions of death, fighting, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of alcohol

word count: 4.2k

summary: a huge case calls for the bau, intelligence, and special victims, causing you to cross paths with your ex – that no one in your team knew about

other parts: one, two

a/n: ahhh it’s the final part! again, thank you to everyone who has supported this mini series (and all of the asks i’ve gotten about bittersweet has me hollering). also, i used one part of this fic from another one of my fics – how unoriginal of me but idc lol i hope you guys like this ending!

“i have to go after him!”

“i know you do sweetie,” penelope held your arms, trying to calm you down. “but this is urgent. i promise you can talk to spencer soon.”

“but-” you cried.

“y/n, he’ll be fine.” olivia said, patting your shoulder. you breathed in, trying to slow down your anxious heart.

spencer walked back into the squadroom a few moments later. you tried to approach him as everyone gathered around penelope, but was met with a cold glance from him as he distanced himself from you. you exhaled, turning your attention to the tech analyst.

“go ahead garcia.” hank said.

“i did some research on the 10 girls and nothing came up. they all continued on with their lives or went through recruitment again and happily joined other chapters. they’re all model citizens.” penelope explained.

“okay, go on.”

“and so i did some digging on the sororities themselves, and apparently one of the chapter’s presidents was kicked out a few years ago after being caught hazing new members and was even arrested.” she said, pulling up the article.

you grimaced, thinking of what horrible thing she could’ve possibly done to those girls.

“melanie clarkson, sigma phi kappa.” emily read out loud from penelope’s screen.

“what did she do to the new members?” olivia asked, penelope’s eyes quickly skimming through the article.

“oh god. she laced their drinks with small doses of rat poison and later sodomized them.” penelope said. you were starting to get a sick feeling in your stomach. jj and kim rushed over to you, rubbing your back in order to calm you down.

“so she’s our unsub.” rossi stated.

“she’s had most of her m.o. already before she escalated to killing.” jay stated.

“what’s the connection between her and the other two chapters?” sonny asked as penelope typed away.

“her two younger sisters,” she said, pulling up several files. “lea and hailey clarkson, both 20. they went to two different colleges – one in richmond and one in chicago.” she gulped.

“let me guess, kappa alpha delta and delta xi?” hotch asked for confirmation.

“bingo. there’s medical records going back two years ago of the two sisters coming in the er, both reported to have been raped. sodomized to be specific.”

everyone sighed. you especially cringed to yourself.

“you okay?” emily whispered to you, patting your back.

“yeah,” you weakly nodded. “i can’t believe that these women would do that to each other. it’s so fucking cruel. sororities are supposed to be about sisterhood – not trying to hurt each other.”

“and you are definitely not one of those girls, y/n.” jj reassured you.

you nodded at her, thanking her for her empathy.

“it looks like they were the only ones from their sororities to report the rapes.” penelope continued.

“so they were probably the only ones who were raped?” kevin questioned.

“the news of a melanie being arrested ruined her sisters’ legacy of joining sigma phi kappa so they joined different chapters,” you thought out loud. “everyone must’ve heard about what she did to them, so they targeted her younger sisters as payback.”

“did the sisters file a police report?” olivia asked.

“yes,” penelope answered. “it said that their chapter executive board were in on the attacks.”

suddenly, a light turned on in your head.

“wait, can you pull up everything you have on our past victims?” you asked.

“why?”

“the president from sigma phi kappa told me that our two recent victims were on their exec board.” you explained.

“all of the victims were on their chapter’s executive boards during their last year.” penelope clarified.

“there’s our victimology.” rossi chirped.

“where is melanie now?” derek asked.

“she’s 25 now. released on good behavior after serving for two years and got off probation a year ago.” penelope said.

“her sisters’ attacks were the stressor. waited until she was off probation and then started killing throughout this year.” jj added.

“her financials show that she flew to chicago and richmond during the times of the murders.” penelope called out.

“good job babygirl.” derek patted her back.

“anything else you can get on her, give it to carisi.” hotch ordered, penelope quickly nodding as she continued typing.

“hey guys!” one of the officers shouted, catching everyone’s attention. “we got a call about an intruder at the sigma phi kappa house at hudson.”

“it must be melanie,” hotch clarified. “alright everyone, let’s go.”

everyone prepared, strapping on their vests.

“burgess, ruzek, prentiss, you’ll ride with me.” hank stated.

“rollins, reid, and morgan, you’re with me.” olivia ordered.

“l/n, jj, halstead, looks like you’re riding with me.” hotch said.

“the rest of you are riding with me.” fin called out.

everyone nodded their heads.

as soon as you got yourself ready, you walked up to spencer.

“spencer, can we talk about this?” you pleaded, his eyes not meeting yours. “spence, please-”

before you could even finish, he walked away, joining the others as he walked out. you bit back tears as you took a deep breath. jay gave you a sad smile and a light pat on your shoulder.

now’s not the time, get your head in the fucking game.

you stared straight ahead of you as hotch drove to the house. you felt a hand grab yours. you turned your head to see jj giving you a sympathetic smile.

“everything’s going to be fine, y/n,” she said. “spencer loves you too much just to give up on you two because of a misunderstanding. you remember last time that happened.”

you and spencer walked back to your apartment in silence.

“y/n?” he said, pulling his hand away from yours.

“yeah babe?” you tilted your head at him. he visibly swallowed.

“are, are you cheating on me?” spencer croaked. you raised your eyebrows at him.

“what? babe, no! where did you get that from?” you shook your head.

“you’ve been sneaking off and being quiet lately. you won’t even let me into your apartment for the past couple of weeks. please be honest with me y/n, are you cheating on me?” his eyes became glossy.

“i’m not! it’s not what you think.” you tried to explain to him.

“y/n, please spare me the pain and just break up with me if you don’t love me anymore.”

“spencer!” you yelled. “i love you and only you, okay? i’m sorry i’ve been secretive lately, but it’s definitely not because i’ve been cheating on you.”

“i-it’s not?” spencer blushed, feeling guilty for accusing you of such a horrible act.

“no.” you said, grabbing his hand and quickly walked to your front door.

the moment you two entered your dark apartment, the lights turned on, revealing the rest of your team.

“happy birthday spencer!” they cheered. spencer’s jaw dropped.

this explains everything. shit-

“happy birthday spence.” you sadly smiled at him, looking at your feet. spencer scooped your into his arms, holding you tightly.

“oh my god i’m so, so, so sorry y/n. i should’ve trusted you. i can’t believe i would even think for a second that you would do such a thing. i know you would never do that to me. i’m so sorry-” he cried in the crook of your neck.

“spencer! it’s okay! i forgive you!” you exclaimed. he pulled away from you, looking into your eyes. he then quickly leaned in, practically smashing his lips onto yours. you immediately kissed back, molding your lips together.

“whoa there kids, there are people here!” derek shouted as the rest of the team screamed.

you laughed as you both let go of each other.

“i love you.”

“i love you too.”

you chuckled at the memory.

“yeah.” you whispered.

moments later, you felt the car being put into park.

as soon as everyone arrived, hotch chatted with the responding officer.

“what do we have?”

“no gunshots reported yet, door’s been broken into, there must be at least 50 girls in that house with the intruder.”

“okay, everyone listen up,” hotch shouted, gathering everyone’s attention as they were arming up. “benson and voight, your groups will get as many people as you can out of the house. those who rode with me, we will go in and find melanie. l/n, you will try to talk her down.” he ordered.

you nodded your head at him.

your group entered the house first, the others soon following and silently walking throughout the house and scattered into the different halls.

you watched as girls exited their rooms in a panicked manner, the team leading them out the front door.

where the hell is she?

you suddenly remembered the room maria showed you when you and jay asked for their rosters. your feet found themselves picking up the pace as you walked towards the study, the rest of your group trailing behind you. you noticed the door had already been opened, immediately walking in gun first.

you entered to see a woman holding a gun to maria’s head. the woman’s eyes filled with anger.

“melanie clarkson, fbi! drop your weapon.” you shouted as everyone aimed their weapons at her.

“these girls have ruined my life! they ruined my sisters’ lives!”

“no, melanie. you ruined your lives when you decided to hurt those girls.”

“is this your way of talking down someone?” melanie spat.

“is this your way of getting revenge for lea and hailey? maria didn’t hurt your sisters. let her go.”

“she didn’t, but she hurt me.” melanie cried.

“how did she hurt you?” you calmly asked.

“she-she was the one who had me arrested! she made me lose my position just for her to take it years later!” she shouted.

“i’m sorry!” maria yelled as tears ran down her face.

“shut up, bitch!” melanie pressed the gun further into her temple.

“melanie! put the gun down! think of your sisters – think of lea and hailey. they just got you back.”

“it doesn’t matter, i’m going back anyways.” melanie scowled.

“would you rather go back or be dead?” you asked.

melanie glared at you, removing the gun from maria’s head to aim at you.

“i don’t know, what do you think, madam president?” melanie snarled. you gave her a confused look. “don’t give me that look. i saw you in an article and did my research on you. y/n l/n – alpha chi delta alumnae. i was proud to see successful women who were in greek life. then i read that you were the president your last year.”

“what does that have to do with anything?” you furrowed your eyebrows.

“tell me, how did you haze your new members?” she smirked, placing her finger on the trigger. you mirrored her actions, ready to fire at her if necessary.

“i didn’t.” you stated.

“is that so?”

“yes. i’m not some psychopath who enjoys torturing innocent people. is that what gets you off? poisoning them and then sexually assaulting them?” you spat back.

“you bitch.”

the rest of the team stayed back as soon as they had the girls outside of the house.

“do we have everyone?” olivia asked the big group of girls who were shivering from the cold.

“no! where’s maria?!” one girl shouted, catching the captain’s attention.

“we have one girl missing.” olivia spoke into her radio.

“visual on suspect. she’s holding a girl at gunpoint. we have y/n talking to her right now.” vanessa responded.

the mention of y/n over the radio caught both derek and spencer’s attention, snapping their heads up as they looked at each other.

“i gotta get back in there.” spencer said.

“you can’t. they’re gonna be fine.”

“what if something happens to her?” he furrowed his eyebrows in worry.

“y/n will be fine. let her do her job.” morgan said as he placed his hands on his friend’s shoulders, trying to hold him still.

spencer breathed in and out slowly, but can’t fight the horrible feeling of something happening to his fiance – and he wasn’t able to do anything about it.

bang! bang!

spencer’s breath hitched as he saw the medics ran passed him. he tried running into the house, but was pulled back by derek.

“let me go!” spencer yelled as he tried to fight out of derek’s arms.

“take it easy kid!” the older man shouted.

“y/n!” he cried.

“i feel cold.” you whispered as spencer pressed his hand onto your chest, trying to stop the bleeding.

“shhh, be quiet, you’re gonna be fine.” he said, letting out a small sigh of relief when he saw the medics run in. he pulled away as they worked on you.

“hey kid, she’s gonna be fine. she’s a fighter.” rossi said.

the bleeding looks really bad. he thought to himself as he bit his lip.

“i know she is. i can’t help it, you know? what happens if she doesn’t?” spencer sighed.

“spencer! spencer help! help!” he heard you yell as the medics try to hold you down. he rushed over to you, a terrified look painting his face as he saw you thrashing around.

“y/n?!”

“spencer! spencer! spencer!” your shouts grew louder. he jumped back to see everyone looking at him, shouting his name over and over again.

he felt his body shaking.

“spencer!”

his eyes suddenly opened as he quickly sat up, gasping loudly.

“spencer!”

he turned his head to see you looking at him with worry. he pulled you towards him, circling his arms around your middle.

“oh thank god, you’re okay.” he cried into your neck. your arms wrapped around him, rubbing circles on his back with one hand.

“shhh, i’m right here. everything’s okay. i’m okay.” you whispered, running your other hand through his hair.

spencer pulled away, cradling your face with his big hands.

“y-you were bleeding out on the floor and t-the medics couldn’t do anything. you were yelling. you were in pain.” he spoke as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“it was just a nightmare sweetie,” you said as your thumbs wiped his face clean. “i’m right here. i’m never leaving your side, ever.” you reassured.

“promise?”

“promise.”

“y/n!” spencer cried out once more, choking on his sobs. he saw most of your group walk out – but there was no sighting of you.

no, not like this. please.

he saw a gurney with a body bag on top being wheeled out of the house and thought his heart stopped beating.

“where is she?!” spencer roared. derek’s grip on him loosened. he hurried past several people towards the front door, only to stop in his tracks.

there you were, walking down the steps as you wrapped a jacket around maria.

he loudly sighed in relief, placing his hands on his knees as he tried to keep himself up.

you walked maria to one of the ambulances.

“i’m sorry it had to end this way,” you apologized. “no one should have to go through this.”

“i thought i did the right thing years ago. did i cause this?” maria asked as a medic checked up on her.

“you did the right thing, maria,” you emphasized. “you did not cause this. melanie chose to murder those women.” you comforted her.

“thank you.” she smiled at you.

“i still meant what i said earlier. if you need anything, call me.” you smiled back, patting her shoulder as you walked away.

you approached everyone as they were all conversing with each other.

“great work today l/n.” hotch nodded at you, olivia and hank smiling at you.

“let’s all go out for dinner!” adam exclaimed.

“i’m down for anything that isn’t chinese takeout.” kevin quipped, high fiving adam as everyone else shouted in agreement.

“thank god you’re okay, y/n,” rollins hugged you. “you had us worried once we heard those gunshots.”

“yeah, melanie shot at me. luckily, she missed,” you let out a sigh. “where’s spencer?”

“he’s sitting by one of the ambulances.” adam answered.

“why? what happened? is he okay?” you articulated quickly.

“calm down kid, he’s fine,” derek laughed. “he was the most worried out of all us when we heard shots. he’s just catching his breath.”

you felt a wave of relief rushing through you.

“go talk to him,” emily said. “he might’ve been pissed earlier, but he still loves you, you know?”

you nodded as you broke away from the group.

you carefully walked up to spencer who had his head down.

“spencer?” you quietly called out to him. he locked eyes with you, jumping up and wrapping his arms around you. you melt under his touch.

“i’m sorry, y/n. i’m so fucking sorry.” he sniffed as he placed his head on your shoulder.

“it’s okay, i’m sorry too.” you said, crying as you held him in your arms.

“i saw you and jay hugging and i just lost it. i know you wouldn’t cheat on me or ever do anything to ruin our relationship, but i couldn’t help but feel broken at the thought of losing you. then you went and tried to talk down melanie. when i heard shots being fired, i thought the earth had stopped spinning. i thought that i lost you forever and the last memory you had of me was me acting like a jerk to you. i should’ve trusted you more. i’m so fucking sorry.” spencer rambled quickly.

even after all of these years of hearing him talk, you still managed to catch every word that left his mouth.

“baby, it’s okay, you have nothing to be sorry for,” you cooed, cradling his face in your hands as you wiped his tears away. “i’m the one who should be sorry for ever making you doubt our relationship. that hug between me and jay could’ve been interpreted differently to anyone. but i swear to you, it was just a friendly hug after he apologized for everything. i can assure you, nothing will ever happen between me and him. he’s finally moved on.”

“god, i love you so much y/n.” he smiled at you.

“i love you too spence.” you smiled back.

spencer pulled you in for a deep kiss, leaving you dizzy afterwards. everything felt right again.

“come on,” you smiled, grabbing spencer’s hand and dragging him away from the ambulance. “i heard we’re having a big dinner tonight.”

after getting ready at the hotel, you and spencer arrived at the restaurant. you were escorted to the patio, walking up to the long table hand-in-hand under the small lights that decorated the exterior.

“our couple is back, and better than ever i may say!” rossi shouted as he raised his glass. cheers erupted from everyone, even jay was clapping with joy.

you and spencer blushed as you two walked to your seats that was placed between emily and jay. you assumed the seat next to jay was yours, until you see your fiance sitting next to him.

“hey jay.” he started.

“hey man.” the other said, facing him.

“i just wanted to apologize for earlier. i went too far and was an asshole to you. i don’t think you’re an egotistical, meat-headed, jealous ass.” spencer recalled, making jay chuckle. you, along with the rest of the table, had shock painted all over your faces.

“don’t sweat it. i’m sorry for being an asshole too,” jay laughed. “i acted out of jealousy, but now i realize that she’s moved on, and i have to move on as well. i can see you make her very happy.”

“thank you. i accept your apology.”

“yours as well, and congratulations on the engagement you two,” jay gave you both a smile. spencer nodded, giving him an awkward smile in response. “come on, bring it in man.” jay smirked, pulling spencer in for a hug.

“kid, that’s not how you give a bro hug!” derek exclaimed, causing everyone to laugh.

dinner continued as normal. everyone shared their own stories, talked to you and spencer about wedding details, and even making toasts to you two.

soon, everyone fell into their own worlds, having their own separate conversations.

amanda turned to sonny who was looking at you as you leaned on spencer’s chest.

“that could’ve been you, you know?” she mumbled to him. sonny lightly jumped at her voice.

“what?” he turned to her.

“come on, we all know you liked her right before she started dating halstead.” amanda smirked.

“was it that obvious?” he asked, earning a nod from the blonde. he looked down. “i messed up years ago.”

“i know.” amanda sighed.

“have you asked out y/n yet?” amanda, smirked, leaning on sonny’s desk as he went through his paperwork.

“uh, no.” he shook his head.

“and why not?”

“because i told her i liked you so she didn’t think i had a crush on her.” sonny muttered softly, not making eye contact with amanda.

“you what?!” she exclaimed.

“i-i told her i liked you.” he spoke a little louder.

“and why would you do that?” amanda’s eyes widened.

“because she doesn’t like me like that? she’s way out of my league.” sonny exclaimed.

“that doesn’t even make any sense! are you an idiot? she’s had feelings for you for the longest time.” amanda rubbed a hand against her forehead.

“she does?” sonny furrowed his eyebrows.

“yes! when did you tell her that?”

“like a few weeks ago.”

“no wonder she didn’t feel like hanging out with us during that time,” she sighed. “she’s been trying to get over her crush on you.”

“well, what am i supposed to do now?”

“tell her how you really feel when she comes in.” amanda said, giving the tall man a stern look.

as if on cue, you walked in with a smile on your face.

“someone’s unusually happy this morning,” fin chirped. “care to share with the class?” he said, making you laugh.

“well, you know that one detective, jay halstead?” you raised an eyebrow.

“that one hot guy from chicago intelligence? yeah, what about him?” amanda asked.

“we went on a date last night.”

“oh?” amanda chirped, giving a quick look at sonny.

“h-how did it go?” he asked, trying to act normal.

“it was magical. he asked me to be his girlfriend.” you beamed at him, ignoring the blush that tinted your cheeks.

“oh my god, congratulations!” sonny laughed, hopefully the sound of his cheers covered the sound of his breaking heart.

sonny pulled out his phone as soon as he heard it rang.

y/n calling facetime...

he happily pressed the accept button, watching your face pop up.

“sonny!” you grinned.

“y/n! how’s it going in d.c.?” he asked.

you would facetime sonny and the rest of special victims any time you had some free time after working on multiple cases. he was there to comfort you when you broke up with jay, and even flew out to d.c. with you to help you settle into your new apartment.

“it’s great! everyone here is so nice.” you said as you told your best friend about the different people of the bau.

“they all sound amazing! is that everyone in the bau?” sonny asked.

“there’s one more! uh, spencer reid.” you smiled to yourself.

“what’s with that face y/n?” he teased.

“nothing! it’s nothing.”

“tell me about spencer.” sonny pushed.

you inhaled.

“well, spencer, he’s really smart and kind. he can be a bit awkward sometimes, put that’s part of his charm.” you chuckled.

“it sounds like you have a little crush.” he smirked.

“yeah, about that,” you nervously scratched the back of your neck. sonny raised an eyebrow at you. “i’m dating him – i’ve been for a few months already, actually.” you confessed.

“what?!” sonny almost yelled, jumping from his seat. “and you didn’t tell me?”

“i’m sorry! i’ve been busy!” you blushed.

“even a text saying ‘hey best friend, just wanted to tell you, i’m dating someone’ would’ve been fine.”

“i know! i’m sorry! i just wanted to facetime you when i told you, but then i kept getting called in for cases and you know how i tend to forget things-” you pouted.

“i’m just teasing you y/n,” sonny laughed. “i’m happy for you.”

“really?” you said, eyes filled with hope.

“yes, you deserve to find love after jay.”

“aw, thank you sonny, that means a l-” you said, suddenly stopping when you got a notification.

“another case?” sonny asked.

“unfortunately,” you frowned. “i’m so sorry.”

“don’t be, it’s your job. we’ll call again when you can, okay?” he said, earning a nod from you. “and tell that spencer guy i said hi.”

“of course. i love you sonny!” you said goodbye. sonny nodded, knowing that you meant it platonically.

“i love you too y/n, stay safe!” he smiled back, hoping that it didn’t falter as you hung up – your face suddenly disappearing.

“guess i was just too late.” sonny shrugged.

“i’m sorry.” amanda said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“it’s fine. as long as she’s happy, i’m happy. and that’s all that matters to me.” sonny sighed, taking a sip of his drink as he watched you slapped spencer’s chest, laughing at something he said.

hopefully the alcohol that burned his throat distracted him from that bittersweet feeling.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x y/n #chicago pd x reader #chicago pd x y/n #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi x y/n #law and order svu x reader #law and order svu x y/n

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hotforharrington · 5 years

Text

Goody Two Shoes (Pt. 4/6)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x reader

Warnings: swearing

Notes: In this fic, you are in the same grade as Steve (a senior) which means Billy is a year younger than you (a junior) ; here is part 4 of Goody Two Shoes :)) I am very happy with this part, so I hope you guys like reading it! I think there’s only going to be 2 more parts but I’m not 100% sure yet. Anyways, enjoy!

—

You walked into your home and your mother was cleaning the kitchen. Billy’s jacket was now lingering in your arms, hoping your mother didn’t notice it among your textbooks. Luckily, she was too consumed with her cleaning to study you.

“(Y/N)! I was about to call the school, I was getting so worried about you!” Your mother said to you.

“Sorry mom! I got held up helping someone with an assignment in the library at the end of the day.” You lied to your mother.

“You are such a good one!” She beamed.

You set your backpack down and were about to head up the stairs when the phone rang. You knew exactly who it was going to be.

You turned around to dart to grab the phone but your mother just barely beat you to it.

“(Y/L/N) residence.” She stated politely.

“Hello, Mrs. (Y/L/N)! This is Billy Hargrove, I go to school with (Y/N). I was calling to speak with her about our upcoming history project.”

“Oh, wonderful. One second and I’ll get her on the line.”

“I’ll pick it up in my room.” You said to your mom before you darted up to your room to pick up your landline. You delicately laid Billy’s jacket on your bed as you pressed the phone to your ear.

“Hey, B, so you’re gonna come over to work on that project?” You asked nonchalantly.

“Yeah, beautiful, I’ll be over soon, if that works for you.”

“Sounds perfect to me.” You said with a smile on your face and your fingers twirling through the phone cord. You prayed your mother wasn’t listening in on your conversation, because the two of you weren’t being very subtle.

“See you soon, princess.” He said before hanging up the phone.

You went straight to your bathroom and freshened up your hair and make up. After that, you made your way back down the stairs to tell your mom that Billy would be over soon.

“Hey mom!” You shouted at her over her vacuum.

“Yes, Sweet Pea?” She responded.

“Billy, the guy who just called, he’s coming over so we can work on that history project. He’ll be here soon!”

“Sounds good, sweetie.”

About 20 minutes passed, and your dad was now home from work. The three of you sat in your living room. A few moments later, the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!” You called to your parents.

You opened the door to be greeted by a form of Billy you’d never seen before. He was well groomed and put together. He wore a lightly colored button up shirt (which was surprisingly buttoned all the way up) and khaki pants. The blonde curls of his mullet were smooth and appeared soft, and not slightly tangled as normal.

Your heart felt so full that he took this so seriously for you. This was a huge sign that he actually cared, and wasn’t just playing games with you.

“H-hi, Billy.” You stuttered.

“Hi, (Y/N). How are you doing?”

“Um, I’m good, thanks... Please come inside.” You said to him.

He walked into your home and your parents stood to greet the handsome young man that now entered their living room.

“Mom, Dad, this is Billy Hargrove, my uh... classmate.” You said, slightly nervous.

“Mr. and Mrs. (Y/L/N), it’s so nice to meet you. “ Billy shook your parents hands with a polite smile on his face.

It was so odd to see him like this. It was like a completely different person was standing here meeting your parents, not the bad boy you had come to know.

“It’s good to meet you too. Are you new to town? I don’t think I’ve seen you around and, well, Hawkins isn’t too big.” Your father said to him.

“Yes actually! My family just moved here from California.”

“Oh wow! Must be a big change for you.” Your mother said in response.

“Yes ma’am it is.”

You were starting to get stressed about your parents questioning him so you interrupted and said, “Um, we’re gonna go upstairs if that’s alright. That history project isn’t going to start itself!”

You headed for the stairs, when your mother said, “Billy?”

You both turned back to see what she was about to say.

“Yes ma’am?” He responded.

“Are you planning on joining us for dinner?” She asked.

Panicking internally, you said, “Oh I don’t think Billy would want to join us-“

“I’d love to.” Billy said, surprising you.

Your mother smiled at him and you faked a smile, grabbed Billy by the arm, pulled him upstairs to your room, and closed the door.

As soon as the door was closed, Billy unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt and said, “Fuck (Y/N), I don’t know how you do this every damn day.”

You chuckled at him and he sat on your bed.

“It’s not so bad,” You said, “But, hey, what was that about staying for dinner? You know they’re going to ask you all kinds of questions that you’ll have to lie about...”

In this moment, you felt kind of guilty about making Billy do all of this. You hated that he had to pretend to be someone he’s not in order to impress your parents.

You sauntered closer to the curly haired boy. He grabbed your hands in his and said, “Hey... don’t worry about it, okay? It’ll be fine. Besides, I told you I wanted to meet your parents.”

You nodded and plopped yourself down next to him on your bed. “I really appreciate you doing this for me, B.”

“Of course, princess.” He responded, playing with your fingers that were now intertwined in his.

“But... maybe in the future if you want to hangout with me, we should just sneak out... or you could sneak in...” You suggested.

“Whatever makes you happy, beautiful girl.” He caressed your cheek and pulled your lips to meet his. Billy intentionally made this kiss a sweet one, to show you comfort since you were obviously stressed about this situation.

You pulled away from the kiss and smiled at him. Then, a realization came into your mind.

“Oh, shit! The project!” You said.

“I thought that was made up? We don’t even have a history class together.” He said, confused.

“Yeah it is, but we have to have something in case my parents want to see what we’ve been working on... or if one of them happens to come in, we’ll have to pretend like we’re working on something.”

You walked over to your desk where you had placed your textbooks that you had brought home. Thank god! you thought to yourself. You managed to bring home your U.S. history book, which would be a perfect prop.

“I’ll be right back!” You said to Billy before darting out of your room and down the stairs.

“Whatcha lookin’ for, Sweet Pea?” Your mother asked.

“Do we have any poster board?”

“Yes sweetie, in your father’s study there should be some in the cabinet.”

“Thanks!” You said, bolting into the study and opening up the cabinet. You grabbed a medium sized, white poster board and went back upstairs to join Billy.

Billy looked at you with a confused expression and you just said, “Trust me. This will only take a second.”

You grabbed a permanent marker from your desk drawer and placed the poster board on the floor.

You began drawing a bubble map and wrote ‘The Civil War’ in the center bubble. In your nice, neat handwriting, you began filling in the surrounding bubbles with detailed information about different battles of the Civil War.

Billy was amazed at your intellect. The history book remained closed and you were able to beautifully describe this information with out any help whatsoever.

You made sure to leave at least one bubble empty, to show that you were still ‘working on it.’ After you finished writing, you flipped the textbook open to the table of contents and found exactly the chapter you were looking for. You turned the flimsy pages right open to a display of pictures and bold letters that said ‘Chapter 7: The Civil War’.

“Perfect.” You whispered to yourself. You then turned to Billy and said, “There. Now we can plop down here and pretend like we’re working in case we hear anyone come up the stairs.”

A soft smile overcame his face from admiration of your determination to this whole thing.

“Your ambition is so sexy, you know that?” He said to you.

“Oh yeah?” You cocked an eyebrow at him and moved to straddle him on the bed.

You looked deep into his piercing blue eyes before going in for a passionate kiss. You both toppled over, him on his back and you on top of him.

He lightly bit your bottom lip and in response, your tongue invaded his mouth. Your fingertips lingered at the base of his neck, gently playing with his curls. His strong hands inched down from your waist, slowly moving lower and lower...

The two of you made out in your room for only a few moments before you heard your mother begin to yell out for you and then slowly ascend up the stairs.

The both of you jumped up. You wiped your mouth and Billy buttoned up his shirt. The pair of you plopped onto the floor with the project just in time before your mother opened the door.

She smiled and said, “Hey you hard workers! Dinner’s ready! I hope you like spaghetti, Billy!”

“Sounds amazing, Mrs. (Y/L/N)!” He replied politely.

Your mother walked back towards the stairs and you turned to Billy with a nervous smile.

“This is kinda fun.” He said to you with a genuine smile on his face.

You pressed up on your tip toes and gave him a small peck on the cheek before leading him out the bedroom door and down the stairs.

The delicious aroma of Italian food filled the kitchen. The table was set for four. Two chairs on each side. You and Billy took a seat on one side and your parents sat on the other.

After saying grace, everyone fixed their plates and began to dig in. It was awkwardly silent for awhile until your father spoke up, “So Billy, got any plans after high school?”

“Billy’s actually a year younger than me, dad.” You explained.

“Doesn’t mean he hasn’t already thought about where he’s going to school or what he wants to do with his life.” Your father stated, “He seems like a fine young man. Definitely the kind of man I hope you’d end up with, (Y/N).”

You turned slightly and softly smiled at him. You two intertwined your fingers underneath the table, in secret.

Your father continued his statement, “And with that logic, I would think he would be smart enough to think ahead.”

“Well, in terms of colleges, I am keeping my options open at the moment, sir.” Billy answered.

“Nothing wrong with that, son!” Your father said politely, “But as for, (Y/N), she doesn’t have much choice where she’s going!” He chuckled.

A confused look spread across Billy’s face.

“We’ve been saving for her to go to Harvard since we found out my wife was pregnant!” Your dad explained, “She’s gotta continue the family tradition. We’re just waiting for that acceptance letter to come in. Should be here any day now!”

“Our sweet girl, she’s never let us down before and I highly doubt she’s going to start now!” Your mother said with a joyful chuckle.

Billy slowly released his hand from your grasp. “That’s wonderful, (Y/N).”

You could tell Billy’s words were forced. You hadn’t thought about the fact that you’d potentially be leaving for Harvard at the end of the school year.

You could feel the change of energy from Billy. He had tensed up, when he had been cool, calm, and collected since he walked through the front door.

The rest of the meal went by with casual small talk and everyone managed to get through it. Your parents were too blind to see the shift in Billy.

After you cleared you and Billy’s dishes from the table, you announced, “Billy and I are almost done with our project, so we’re going to go finish it now, okay?”

Your parents nodded their heads and you retreated to your bedroom.

Billy walked in first and you closed the door behind you.

“So... Harvard huh?” Billy asked with a bit of pain in his voice.

“Maybe...” You replied.

Billy just looked down at the floor for a moment. It was silent and awkward in your bedroom.

“Is that what you want?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” You replied.

“(Y/N)... I know we haven’t been seeing each other long but I know you’re something special. And even without the idea of us being in a relationship, I don’t want to see you go at the end of this school year unless going to Harvard is what really is going to make you happy. And when I say you, I mean you. Not your parents. You know, eventually you’re going to have to be up front with them and speak your truth!”

You knew Billy was right, even if you didn’t want to admit it. “I know.” was all you could manage to say to the boy.

You sat down next to him and rested your head in the crook of his neck. He slipped his hand into yours and kissed the top of your head. Billy turned to look at the clock on your bedside table.

“Shit.” He said. It was 6:30 and he told Neil he would be home at 6:00. “I gotta go, (Y/N), I told my dad I would be home thirty minutes ago.”

“Okay, Billy, calm down. Just tell him we were working on this project. It’ll be okay, won’t it?”

“You don’t understand, princess. I have to go. Now.” He said with a serious tone.

You bolted up and escorted him out. He quickly, yet politely, thanked your parents for having him over and your mother for the delicious meal.

He scurried to his Camaro and sped off to get home.

You watched the boy drive away and couldn’t help but worry. What did he mean by ‘You don’t understand, princess’?

You decided to shake it off and move on with the rest of your evening.

When 9:00 rolled around, you decided you better catch up on your sleep.

You headed up the stairs, brushed your teeth, put on your pajamas, and drifted off to sleep.

Good thing you decided to get some extra sleep, because only a few hours later, you were awoken by a fairly loud knock on your window.

—

Read Part 5 Here

Taglist:

@the-marvelatic @p3nny4urth0ught5 @kellysimagines @countryday @kayln97 @gothackedalready

#billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove stranger things #billy x reader #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagines #billy stranger things #stranger things fanfic #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagines #stranger things preferences #steve harrington #stranger things #dacre montgomery #Goody Two Shoes Billy Hargrove

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mrs-dragneel-stark-solo · 4 years

Text

Unforseen Chasm(part34)

part 34 of Unforseen Chasm

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together. Word Count: 5106 Warnings: angst, slight fluff, heartbreak, arguing, fighting, unconscious reader, hints to smut. song for this part: Heart wants what it wants-Selena Gomez Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my other fic series). first major Collab with my best friend @thorne93 what was first a simple “what if” moment turned into a two year writing session and I’ve never been more prouder of myself than when i started my first series. goes through most of the MCU plots there are some changes to accommodate for what we wanted and there is a bit of a crossover between the MCU and other characters. I hope you guys enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Everyone got back to the tower on the same day. Just as Nat and Clint had finished settling in, Steve and Bruce had walked in with their luggage, when Tony and Shannon were in tow.

“Wow, you two are in a good mood,” Nat noted as she looked at the happy couple when she walked into the common area.

“Well,” Shannon started, holding Tony’s hand and looking at him, “actually we have some news.”

“Oh?” Natasha inquired with a perked, curious brow.

“We’re engaged!” she squealed, holding up her left hand, showing off the dazzling diamond.

“Wow, Stark! Way to pick ‘em!” Nat complimented as Steve shook Tony’s hand and congratulated him. Clint high fived Tony. Bruce pulled her into a hug before smiling to Tony.

“I know. Isn’t it amazing?” she asked, staring up at Tony with adoration in her eyes. “We have so much to do and plan!”

“I call dibs on maid of honor!” Natasha said quickly, which suddenly made Shannon realize she needed to share the news with you.

Shannon went silent for a moment, her face falling. This was it, wasn’t it? This was another huge milestone you wouldn’t be there for…

“Oh… I…” Natasha tried, but even a trained spy couldn’t correct this situation.

It dawned on Shannon that she didn’t share the news with you first, and now she felt extremely guilty. Was she somehow forgetting you?

“If you guys would excuse me for a moment, there’s something I need to do.” She hurried off to one of the elevators. Tony wanted to follow after her but knew where she was headed feeling slightly worried about how she was feeling.

“JARVIS, keep an eye on Shannon’s vitals for me,” he said, going to the couch to sit and think.

“Yes, sir.”

On the ride down she tried to think of a way to tell you the news. “How could I have forgotten to tell Y/N first?” she asked herself. “How do I tell my best friend I’m getting married and she won't be there to see me walk down the aisle?” Realizing this, her shoulders sagged as she finally arrived to the floor you were in.

Hearing the room doors open, you walked to the front of the cell to see Shannon walking over to the cell. Getting to see her again was something you had been looking forward to as you didnt get to at all the past month.

“Oh, hey, Shannon. You’re just in time to watch Loki make lunch. Well, attempt to,” you teased, glancing back to your beloved. “He has many great qualities, but cooking is not one of them.”

Loki glanced up at you and slightly narrowed his eyes into a glare. “Excuse me for being raised as royalty and never needing to make anything. I would think you’d be applauding my efforts,” he remarked.

You laughed and smiled, rolling your eyes as you turned back to Shannon, staring at her through the glass. “You want to come in? Well, why am I asking you? Not like I can exactly open the cell up,” you said with a laugh.

Nervously, she laughed too. “That's funny, Y/N/N. I’d love to see what his royal highness has in store for lunch today.” Trying to calm herself, she scanned her hand and was able to enter the cell. “It's good to see you, Y/N. I’ve missed our video chats.” She hugged you tightly.

You held onto her, soaking up the feeling. “I missed you too. How was the vacation? I hope Tony spoiled you.”

She stopped for a moment glimpsing at her hand and seeing the ring while you weren't looking. “You won’t believe where Tony took me. I didn’t even know he had a little place there,” she said, stepping back a bit to look you in the eyes. “I’ll have to bring down my camera to show you the pictures and upload them to the holograms so you could see its beauty.” She had an unreadable face which bothered you a bit.

“Sounds good. Is everything okay? Did you and Tony fight or something?” you asked, concerned as you touched her arm slightly.

She looked back at the ring like it was burning a hole on her finger. “Yeah everything’s fine, we didn’t fight… it’s just--” She stopped not knowing how to say it. “It’s just a few days before leaving he… he asked me to marry him.” She twisted the ring on her finger, showing you the simple diamond on the band.

“Oh my god! Wow! This is utterly amazing!” you gushed, nearly yanking her hand towards you. “That Tony has some good taste. Why did you not want to tell me this?” you asked, realizing she was being hesitant.

She looked up at you with tears in her eyes. “Because I know I won’t be able to have you help me pick my dress and do all the things we’d planned if I ever got married.” She sobbed, collapsing a bit. You caught her and let her cry for a moment holding her close and realizing what that meant.

“Oh… Well… I might not be able to go out but I can... “ you wanted to offer something but you couldn’t. There was no internet down here, nothing to get online with, no way to look anything up, book any vendors, order anything. You were literally useless in this cell as Shannon’s best friend. Eventually, you sighed, just holding her close.

Thoughts sparked in your head on how your life had ever come to this. Shannon getting married was going to be one of the biggest days in her life, and you had always planned on being there. It was almost like a felony to not be there. And now… now you’d given that up, given up everything… for one man. Your eyes flashed to Loki who was pretending to still work on lunch, but you noticed he wasn’t really moving. His eyes were glued to the counter as he just stood there. More than likely, he was listening, realizing the same thing you just did:

The only reason you were here in the first place was because of him.

Before you could address that, though, you needed to comfort Shannon. “Shan, hun, it’s okay,” you tried as she slowly lifted herself back up, wiping her tears. “You can still send me pictures, we can video chat when you go try on dresses, you can bring down bridal magazines. I can still do my part. I can do whatever you need me to do.”

Tears still slipped down her cheeks. “It won't be the same, Y/N/N.” She hiccuped. “When did our lives become this complicated?” She seemed to ask herself rather than you.

JARVIS sent an alert to Tony that her heart rate had increased a bit.

“Show me where she is, Jarvis,” Tony requested immediately, the Al responded with showing what had caused her heart rate to increase and his heart broke for Shannon, hearing what was happening, he wanted to help but had no clue how.

“How am I supposed to plan my wedding when my maid of honor isn't out there?” she asked you, hearing the pain in her voice. “I wish I could take you out of here so we could do all those things but Tony would never agree to it.” She knew it was true he still distrusted you.

“He has every reason not to,” you agreed, the anger slightly sparking under your skin. “Look I know it’s not ideal, sweetie, but please don’t let my… life decisions hold you back from marrying the man of your dreams.”

She looked at you like a sad little puppy not knowing how she would do the planning without you. “We could try to plan this together?” She sounded unsure, you could see the gears working in her mind as to how you would still be able to help her. “We could probably look at things that could be brought down here for us to pick out.”

You nodded, eyeing her with concern. “Yeah, absolutely. I can do whatever you need. You can bring magazines or swatches or pictures. Whatever. I’ll be here, patiently waiting,” you assured.

She smiled up at you, a few tears still falling. “Thanks, Y/N/N. That means a lot.”

You wanted to ask her who was going to be her maid of honor instead. You felt it would probably be Nat, but who knew? Shannon knew a lot of people, and was loved by dozens. People were probably lining up to be by her side on her wedding day, meanwhile you were still here, shackled to the confines of this glass box.

You wanted to ask her all kinds of questions about an event that you couldn’t even witness in the flesh. But, that would only upset the both of you, so you didn’t mention any of it.

The two of you said your goodbyes for now, wishing her congratulations before she left. She said she had to unpack and check in with Fury about anything the team missed while they were gone.

You watched her disappear behind the huge metal doors, your back to Loki who remained quiet for a long time before finally quietly saying, “I’m sorry that you won’t be able to attend their wedding.”

You closed your eyes and slightly clenched your fist. “Are you?”

Loki frowned at your words as you spun to face him. “What?” he questioned, confused.

“Are you actually sorry, or are you just saying that? Is that just another one of your lies, your manipulations?”

“Y/N, what’s wrong with you?” he asked, his eyes narrowed on you.

“Wrong with me? I can’t be with my best friend on the best day of her life because of you.” You pointed at him. “Because you had fucking family issues.”

He took a step towards you, a frown etched in his features. “I didn’t ask you to jump into that portal after me, that was your doing.”

“We could’ve ran from Sanctuary when we got there. But you refused to fight, like a coward. Instead of telling Thanos to eat shit, you bowed down to him.”

“He’s a titan, Y/N,” Loki stressed, using both hands. “He isn’t exactly someone that can be reasoned with. I chose our lives over everything else. Or would you rather me pretend to be some hero and get us killed?”

“I would’ve rather had you use your magic or something, anything to get us out of that situation. Do you have any idea how much I’ve lost? Maybe you wanted to let go. Maybe you hated Odin and Thor and Frigga and the whole lot of Asgard. Maybe you felt you didn’t want to go on, but I had a family, a life, a career. Now what do I have? I have a lying bastard as a cell mate for the rest of my life.”

“You’re honestly angry with me? I never wanted you to jump in after me! That was your own moronic decision, do not put that burden on me! She can hardly be called your friend.”

You reeled back from his words. “How can you even say that? It’s because of her we aren’t in the worst prison in the nation, and we aren’t separated.”

“What exactly has she done for us? She knows we were threatened and brainwashed, and yet, she still has done nothing to get us out or plead our case. So she put some pretty pictures on the wall and broke you out for therapy, I don’t hold that as equivalent for stabbing me in the back and nearly killing you. She pushed you out of a window, remember?”

You clenched your fist. “She was only reacting to the monster I’d become. The monster you made me when you refused to get help. We could’ve gone to Thor. We could’ve told him the truth! But instead you had to make Earth your crown jewel. You had to own something! You were so desperate to prove yourself to a man who never thought you worthy in the first place. Why would anything you do now matter?” you challenged.

“You might want to watch your tongue.”

“Why? You going to stab me? You going to turn me over to Thanos?”

“As I recall, I took a good portion of torture onto myself, instead of letting them hurt you. So do not accuse me of not caring for your wellbeing. It was your doing that got you into this mess. Not mine.”

“I jumped after you because I loved you. I didn’t want to see you be alone,” you quietly reminded.

“And that’s exactly why sentiment and love will ruin people. At the end of the day, they’ll die for someone,” Loki remarked coldly.

“So that’s it then, I shouldn’t have jumped in after you? That this is all my fault?”

“This is all your fault!” Loki snapped, his voice raising. “You jumped after me. You failed to properly get Banner from Shannon. If you had just succeeded in your mission, we would’ve never been captured, and we might’ve stood a chance against Thanos. But as it stands now, all we had was your lack of conviction and pathetic excuse for power.”

“You wanna see power? I’ll show you power!” you responded, your fingertips sparking with purple energy.

“Oh, please. I would love to see you even try to--”

You threw your hand out, the purple energy shooting at him like a forcefield. It knocked into him, and threw him back into the counter. Loki quickly recovered from the blow, returning to an upright position quickly and gracefully. His eyes widened on you.

“I tell you the truth and this is how you respond? You violently attack me?” he asked darkly. “You claim to love me and yet you’re purposely trying to hurt me.”

“It’s not the truth. The truth is you were too afraid to actually be a man, and it’s because of that, that I lost everything I loved.”

A look of hurt and betrayal shadowed across Loki’s face. “Everything you loved?” he echoed. “So what was I then? Something to experiment on? Something that your curiosity got the better of? Now that you had to pay the price just for pretending to give a damn, you’re angry with me? You’re just like everyone else in my life. Using me for your own purpose. I was Thor’s doormat to walk all over, to look good in front of his friends and Odin. I was a relic for Odin to use when he felt the time would come. I was just a chess piece for Thanos. And to you I am nothing more than exotic creature you could pretend to care about for a while.”

“I nearly died for you,” you reminded, your breathing still labored from the attack.

“And I for you, but clearly that escapes your memory, so let me remind you,” he said, before stalking over to you and putting his cold hand on your head. His thumb hit your forehead and you gasped, not from the temperature, but from the memories.

The memories were yours. Of the worst time Loki was tortured in front of you. He was nearly completely on the ground, blood pouring from his ears, nose, and mouth as he looked at you. You begged Thanos to stop the horror, but all he said was, “Agree to be my winning token and I’ll spare his life… for now.”

You had finally agreed.

When Loki finally ripped his hand away from you, he was glaring at you with cold eyes. “Most of my torture could’ve been avoided if you’d just agreed to do his bidding. My pain came at your hands and your hands alone.”

“Me? You’re blaming me? I never asked you to take on the torturing.”

“And I never asked you to jump in after me, so it looks like we’re even. You gave up your life for me, and I gave up my health and sanity,” he retorted, dark mocking in his tone. “Quite the pair, aren’t we?”

You glared back at him, his words cutting into you, getting under your skin. “You don’t even realize how badly you’ve ruined my life do you? You might be fine with living your days out in this cell, but I’m not.”

“Well maybe I should’ve just let Thanos and The Other have at you then! Maybe then you’d have put more effort into trying to succeed at the mission.”

As he said his last word, you picked up a lamp, charged it with your energy, and hurled it at him, before he deflected it with his own magic easily, causing it to shatter against the glass wall.

“Did you ever think that it’s your fault my mother died? Hmm?” he asked, anger and patronizing in his voice. “If you had actually succeeded in your mission, we could be back on Asgard where I could’ve protected her!” His anger caused the glasses on the counter to fly off and hit the walls, making you dodge one of them.

“Maybe if you didn’t let go in the first place, and fall into an abyss, you could’ve been there yourself!” you retorted, charging another piece of furniture before ejecting it at him. Again, his reflexes were unparalleled and it simply crashed into tiny pieces on the glass wall..

Upstairs, the alarms for your cell were going off, tipping Tony off that there was an attempted breach at the cell wall.

“What the--?” he asked, glancing to the monitors. It stated that multiple objects had been thrown at the wall. He rolled his eyes and stopped what he was doing. “What the hell are they doing down there?” he muttered to himself before walking to the elevator. He reached your floor, stepped into the security hallway, then through the large metal doors. “Hey! What the hell is going on in here?” he asked, shouting over you two.

You turned to face him, ready to explain your side. “I’m just… upset. That’s all, Tony.”

“I’ve got all kinds of alarms going off upstairs. Are you two trying to bust out?” Tony asked, a little playfully.

You sighed and ran your hand through your hair. “No. I’m just… Our fight got out of hand, that’s all.”

“And what was this little lovers quarrel about?”

“I’m just… mad I can’t be there for Shannon, that’s all,” you answered.

“I want to feel sorry for you, Y/N/N, I really do. But see, you wouldn’t be in this mess if you had just come back to Earth and worked for me. You wouldn’t be in this cell, locked up with the poor child king who didn’t get enough hugs from his daddy. You could be upstairs with Shannon, helping to plan our wedding, be the maid of honor…”

Loki glared at Tony from far back in the cell.

At this, your anger and powers were triggered. One bad word about Loki, that’s all it took.

“Take it back,” you ordered, your demeanor changing, as you took another step toward the glass to get closer to him.

“Why? You know I’m right. It’s his fault you’re in this mess. And it pains me to see it. Do you know why? Because I have to watch the woman I love suffer, because you had to chase after some spoiled prince who wanted his dad’s job so bad he killed for it.”

“Tony, stop. Leave him out of this,” you tried, feeling the animal inside you grow. “This is between the two of us, not you.”

“Oh, but it is. Especially when you’re trashing the cell I built you, and breaking Shannon’s heart. So I have every right to make you feel as miserable about this as she is.” Tony broke eye contact with you and looked over to Loki. “Let me ask you something, do you feel good about this?”

“About what?” Loki snapped evenly, motionless as Tony got a better view of him.

“About all of this. Killing, destroying people’s lives. I mean, I think Shannon would kill me if I did half the shit you’ve pulled. And yet, you somehow manipulated Y/N here enough to love you. Now, you gotta tell me how you swung that.”

At that, you lunged at the glass, slamming into it. Your face fierce as you tried to get to Tony, pounding on the glass.

At that moment, Shannon was downstairs. JARVIS had informed her of the commotion going on and she made haste to get down to you. She walked in, seeing you like a wild animal, clawing to get out of the cell as Tony seemed to be taunting it on.

“Does it feel good to fuck with peoples lives? Tell me, do you do it for fun or is it just something that just happens to you?” Tony inquired, but Loki remained quiet.

You however, were going mad not being able to get to him. Your fists were slamming the glass, your lip curled up in disgust as you yelled incoherently at him.

Loki watched on in stunned horror. Of course, his face didn’t show that though. He was stoic as he watched you change. As he watched you turn into a ravenous bloodlusting goddess. He had done this to you. It was because of him that you were… entirely reprogrammed. You were no longer the innocent, sweet, and compassionate woman he’d met on Earth.

Loki had seen the way you moved before you fell into the portal and after the capture of New York. Before the fall you were pensive, quiet, but a sort of tamed whimsical to you. You mildly obsessed with your work and became animated over things you loved. You smiled constantly, but ever since you’d been in this cell… You’d been broken. Smiles, laughter, were few and far between. And that went for him and Shannon. It didn’t seem to matter who you were around, you were timid, on edge. You acted like an animal that had been beaten, mistreated, and abused. You didn’t even carry yourself with confidence.

He had noticed it. Sure, he’d seen the signs of you retreating into yourself. But that comes with isolation and loss of freedom… But it wasn’t until this moment where he really saw the true toll his affect had taken on you.

And now… this. You had never even raised your voice in your time on Asgard. And now, short of foaming mouth, you were a rabid animal.

“Y/N/N, back away from the glass before I do something to hurt you,” Tony warned in a tired voice.

But you didn’t hear anything. All you could hear was what Thanos had programmed in you -- your trigger, and now Tony was your target. So you were fighting with all your might to get to him.

“Don’t wanna listen? Alright.” He flipped up his watch before Shannon could stop him.

“Tony, no!” she begged, but she wasn’t quick enough. A powerful charge of voltage shocked through you, enough to send you flying into the wall, causing a dent in the drywall.

Loki feared for your life in that moment seeing as you hadn’t moved from where you landed in the wall. He rushed to your side at the same time that Shannon ran and quickly scanned her hand to enter the cell. Getting to your body faster than him, she began assessing your vitals and did an internal scan with her powers.

“There’s no internal damage but she will be unconscious for a good hour or two,” she told Loki without looking at him. She lifted your body up shocking both men because at 5’4 and curvy they didn’t believe her to be able to carry a person. That was one thing neither man knew about until that moment.

Loki followed Shannon all the way to the bedroom and saw how she held you with one arm while moving the covers to lay you down. He could see that he had made the mistake of believing that she was some mere mortal who only cared about herself, he could see how much you meant to her and that she was willing to jump in to make sure you were okay. He watched how carefully you were laid down and covered up making sure the strand of hair was moved from your eye.

“Thank you for making sure that she’s okay,” was all he could say.

“I didn’t do it for you, I did it for her because she’s my family and I would never let anything happen to her.” Loki could see she was worried for you but there was also anger in her eyes she left the room, and he curiously followed after her.

“What the fuck, Tony?” she said as she walked out of the cell. “Why did you turn on the shock system in the cell?” She was mad at him and Loki could see it in the way she walked up to him.

His face faltered seeing the anger in her eyes “Babe… she was acting irrational. She could have broken the glass and gotten out,” he tried to defend himself.

“It’s reinforced glass with a very thick plastic in between the layers of glass. It was built for Hulk. You and I both know she wouldn’t have gotten out,” she grounded out trying not to let the anger get to her. “So, what? The rational thing was to render her unconscious?” she asked, furious.

“Well… probably not but she was going to get herself hurt.” He knew that was no excuse.

“You do realize that she was acting that way because of the trigger, right?”

“What the hell triggered her?”

“You! Talking that way about Loki… Thanos did it to her, to keep her angry during the fight in New York. If he could keep people angry with Loki, and people negative about him, he could keep her insane… and dangerous.”

“Well how was I supposed to know?” he asked incredulously.

“Tony stop, you had no right to do any of this. Whether you knew or not, you just knocked my best friend unconscious.” She looked tired. He could tell she was trying hard not to let the anger get to her. “I really wasn’t expecting you to do something like this.” She sounded disappointed she walked away from the room not letting Tony say anything more. The day had gone from nearly perfect to horrible in a matter of a few hours.

It was hours later that Loki came in the bedroom. He contemplated not coming in at all. He was going to sleep on the couch, to give you space. But he had been pacing for hours since you’d been knocked out. He was incredibly worried about you. Shannon said you’d be fine, but you hadn’t moved for over seven hours, which had him concerned.

He quietly stepped into the bedroom and gently sat down on the edge of the bed. Silence flowed throughout the cell, as it often did, thanks to no access to music. A war was waging inside him on whether or not he should talk. On one hand, he didn’t want to wake you, but on the other, the words inside him were eating him alive.

He wrung his hands before diving in.

“I know it’s my fault we’re here… you don’t think I’m eaten alive with guilt every day?” He peered down at you, you were facing away from him, your eyes closed, your breathing even. He marveled at your soft hair. He smiled down at you. “I wish every day you never followed me into that portal. That this was mine alone to bear…”

Some more silence filled the space.

“As much as I love you, and cherish your love, if it meant your freedom and happiness I wish you had never even met me.”

A tear rolled down your cheek. You realized he didn’t think you were awake, and you didn’t often see a side of him so vulnerable, so you stayed quiet. Not to mention, you weren’t sure you were in a headspace to talk to Loki. All those things you said to him… did you even really feel that way? Were you just tired of being cooped up? Were you just throwing your anger in his face when really you were just mad at the situation?

“It was never Thor’s fault, or Odin’s… It was me. I was the failure. I couldn’t accept that, so I took it out on my family… The truth is, I never felt good enough, and I knew that… but I drug you down with me, and for that I am truly sorry. I never intended for you to be some sort of recompense for my shortcomings.”

Another tear rolled down your cheek before he spoke again.

“I just wanted you to know that, even if you didn’t hear it. I needed to admit that, at some point. You were right… It is my fault that we’re here, and I’m sorry for being the reason your life is ruined. The reason you can’t be with your friends and loved ones. If I could get you out of here without me, I would do whatever I could… I am so sorry, my love. I wish I could make this right.”

He leaned down and kissed the side of your head.

“I love you so much… And I don’t deserve you…”

You felt the bed shift and he stood up to leave.

“Don’t go,” was all you said.

He stilled for a moment before returning to the bed, where you rolled over and faced him, putting your arm around him.

“I’m sorry,” you quietly said, stroking his cheek.

He shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize.”

“I do. I shouldn’t take my frustrations out on you. It was my choice and mine alone to follow you into that portal. And even though I’ve lost everything… I would do it all over again for you.”

Loki half smiled. “As lovely as that is to hear, I’m not sure if I want to be the reason you hurt your loved ones.”

You shook your head. “You aren’t… That giant space grape was,” you assured. “That wasn’t you. We’re moving forward, all of us,” you said gently.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

You smiled sweetly at him before pulling him closer to you, and kissing him earnestly, a suggestion behind your kiss.

Unforseen Chasm Tag list- @reigningqueenofwords @oldfreakything @weclassygirl @adefectivedetective @dontbetooobvious

Tag list- @cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you @winchester-writes @winchesterenthusiast @georgialouisea @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @sammysbuttcheek @misz-adrii @sandlee44 @womanxofletters @natsuccs @childishhoebinoo @expecteddifferent @girl-next-door-writes @fanaticfanfiction @dakotapaigelove @sassy-spn-knight-of-hell

#unforeseen chasm #unforseen chasm #loki x reader #loki fic #Loki Laufeyson #tony stark x ofc #tony stark fic #tony stark #natasha romanoff #clint barton #bruce banner #steve rogers #JARVIS #mentions of fury

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fanders-fic-awards · 6 years

Text

One Short Day (Summer Fic Comp 18)

Summary: Patton has a really bad day, so Virgil tries to help.

Trigger Warnings: The Q and F slurs. To skip them, skip the from ’“Okay,” Connor said’ to ‘Oh. Oh.’

Word Count: 2059

Ballot

Patton was having a very, very bad day. First, his coffee maker broke, spilling coffee everywhere and probably ruining his favorite sweater. Then his car wouldn’t start; thankfully, however, he had listened to Logan and gotten a portable jump starter kit that didn’t require a second car.

He pulled up to school, barely in time to start his first class of the day, which was senior-level Honors English. The bell rang, and 30 tired and unenthused seniors walked in the door.

“Good morning, class!” His greeting was met with mumbles, so he tried again, with even more pep he wasn’t at all feeling.

“What is up, everybody?”

“Hi, Mr. Sanders” came the ever-so-slightly more energetic response.

“Now, kiddos, I know it’s early on a Monday, but you can do better than that! I be-leaf in you!” Patton held up the plastic maple leaf he kept on his desk, eliciting 29 groans and 1 giggle.

“Ayy, you got me, Thomas!”

“Yeah, because you tell the same joke every day, Mr. Sanders.” The entire class laughed at Thomas’ quip, Patton included.

“Good point,” Patton ceded, pointing at him, “Get it? Good point? Also, valid observation.”

“You have cat to be kitten me. It’s too early for this bull-”

“Hey now, language! But you definitely deserve a Patt on the back for the excellent dad jokes today.”

“Was… was that a self-referential pun? To a crowd that usually doesn’t know the first names of their teachers, when you only just told us your first name last week?” Joan, Thomas’ friend, spoke up.

“Well, yeah! Why do you think I told you guys? Before that,” he said with a mischievous glint in his eye, “I was Patton pending!”

“I never thought I’d say this, but can we please get to actually learning things?” Talyn, Joan’s datemate, called from the back of the class.

“Right, as usual, Talyn,” Patton laughed, “so who has thoughts they’d like to share on the chapters of The Picture of Dorian Gray you all read over the weekend?” Silence fell, with the exception of a murmur from a boy named Connor.

Patton knew it wasn’t right for teachers to have favorite or least favorite students, but Connor was by far his least favorite. Connor was the kind of student who put no effort into understanding the material and then complained that he didn’t get it, that it was boring. Patton frankly couldn’t understand why he was taking an honors course, and nothing he said or did seemed to get through to the kid. And that’s what bugged Patton the most. Every no-effort paper, every barely passed test, felt like a personal failure to Patton. He was responsible for his students and their success. At the end of the day, however, he knew that learning is communication, and communication is a two-way street. He didn’t dislike Connor as a person, of course, he was simply sad and frustrated by his apathy towards his education.

“What was that, Connor?”

“N- nothing, Mr. Sanders.”

“Now, kiddo, we both know that’s not true. Your thoughts are as important and valid as anyone else’s. So, please, share them with us.” Patton’s voice was firm, making it clear he wouldn’t accept ‘no’ for an answer.

“Okay,” Connor said, a challenging smirk on his face, “I think that this book is a waste of our time and that no one cares what a dusty old queer had to say about other faggots over a hundred years ago.”

Oh. Oh. Patton’s chest got tight and he briefly saw red before he remembered where he was. He noticed at least five students flinch at the slur and realized he had been presented an opportunity to make a real difference in his students’ lives. Patton took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts before beginning.

“Thank you for your honest input, Mr. Williams. While your phrasing was incredibly offensive, and we will have a serious conversation with the principal after class about your use of those slurs, you bring up a point that warrants discussion, one that has occurred in countless English courses.

Why should we care? What did this novel add to the world, and does the author’s background add or remove weight from their work? I was going to discuss Oscar Wilde’s sexuality and the homosexual themes throughout the novel after we finished reading it, but since Connor brought it up, this seems like a perfect time.

Before I start lecturing, I want to know if any of you have things you’d like to add to the discussion. Yes, even you, Connor, provided you phrase your comments more carefully.” Patton paused, giving his students time to speak up if they wanted to. He was immensely relieved when a usually very quiet girl named Samantha rose her hand.

“Yes, Samantha, the floor is yours.”

“Oh, um, I just wanted to say that I think it was really brave of Oscar Wilde. I feel like the book is about vice and, um, how it destroys people, even if you- if you can’t tell by looking at them. The fact that it’s Basil Hallward who is explicitly gay is really important. Other authors might have added being gay to the list of 'sins’ Dorian Gray is guilty of, but Wilde makes Hallward something of a tragedy.

The portrait is basically the product of Hallward’s sexuality, a representation of it. Gray destroys it and then kills Hallward, which by could be interpreted out of context as a 'punishment’ for Hallward being gay. And while killing the gay character is a tragically common trope, that’s not what Wilde wrote. Because it’s Gray who killed him, it can be argued that acting the way he did is yet another example of the debauchery that causes not only his death but in the end makes him as ugly as he always feared he’d become.

Sorry, I know you hadn’t assigned that far, but I really liked the book and needed to know how it ended. And, uh, sorry for talking so much.”

“Samantha, please do not apologize for any of that. That was very well put and almost every point I was going to make.” Patton wanted to comment that he noticed her voice getting stronger and more sure as she talked, but he didn’t want to embarrass her.

“Oh, um, thanks, Mr. Sanders.”

“Mr. Sanders, what are the 'other points’ you wanted to make?” Joan asked, who had been giving Connor a murderous glare the entire time.

“Before I answer, is there anything anyone else would like to say?” Patton waited for anyone to speak up, but when no one did, he continued, “I want to discuss the larger picture. But we’ll have to table that for another day since the bell is about to ring. If you want to read ahead, please do, but I’m not going to assign another chapter for tomorrow- all I ask is that you come prepared for a discussion of notable LGBT+ authors and how their identity shaped their works, such as William Shakespeare, Truman Capote, Emily Dickinson, and Tennessee Williams. Wow me with what you bring in and there are extra credit points in it for you! Have a wonderful day, and I look forward to our discussion tomorrow. Connor, a word, please.”

—-

Virgil came home to complete chaos. There was a mess of tangled fairy lights on the couch, and it looked like there was an explosion of flour in the kitchen.

“God, Pat, you are lucky I love you. What’s up with all the messes?” Virgil called out, laughing fondly at his chaotic energetic boyfriend.

“Oh hi, my love! I meant to have it all cleaned up by the time you got home. Time flies when you’re having fun, I guess! How was your day?”

“It was really good. Got a really big breakthrough with the couple I told you I’ve been struggling so much with- I think they’re gonna get somewhere really healthy.”

“Oh my goodness, that’s so great! We have to celebrate- as it so happens, I made chocolate cake, and was gonna make stroganoff for dinner.”

“Pat, it’s my turn to cook, remember? You spoil me too- shit. I can’t believe I missed it. What’s wrong, sunshine?”

“Nothing, Virge. I just wanted to do something sweet for my sweetie!”

“Please let me in, love. Can I help?”

“I- I don’t know, and I didn’t want to worry you. It’s just been a really rough day.”

“Let’s make a deal. Let’s make lasagna together while you tell me what’s up, and then I’ll draw you a bubble bath and we’ll watch 8 Mile?”

“Not 8 Mile, not tonight. Make it the 2005 Pride and Prejudice, and I’m in.”

“As you wish, Patton-cake.”

“I love you too, dork.”

The two men got busy making lasagna, singing and sort-of dancing as they cooked. When they put the dish in the oven, Patton started talking.

“V, it was a hell of a day. The coffee pot broke, and I spilled coffee all over my sweater, and I really need to call your brother and thank him for the advice about the jumper kit. Without it, I wouldn’t have gotten to work on time. But that was little stuff, and you know me, I brushed it off and was really excited to talk with my kiddos about The Picture of Dorian Gray. And class started really well, you’d have died at how they kept the pun train rolling. I love them all so much. I’ve talked to you about Connor before, right?”

“I think so. Total slacker, could be one of the best students in the class if he gave a damn?”

“Yep, that’s the kid. He dropped the f and q slurs a couple of times complaining about the book.”

“Oh my god Patton are you okay? What happened? Did the kid get his ass handed to him like he deserves?”

“Breathe, Virgil. It’s all okay. He’s got detention for 2 weeks, his parents know and are pissed, and I was able to turn it into a good teaching moment. Well, technically, Samantha did.”

“Quiet Samantha?”

“Yeah, she had some incredible insights into the book and how it deals with sexuality and morality. She apparently read ahead and finished the book, so she was able to tie in Gray’s death too.

It was incredible to watch. She’s so quiet and started out so unsure, but by the end, she was so confident, I almost cried.”

“You cry at everything, Pat. Don’t argue- you cried last week because snakes don’t have legs. For real, though, that’s amazing. You are amazing.”

“It was all her!”

“No, it wasn’t. I was just like Samantha in school. I had so many things to say, but I was terrified of being wrong, so I said nothing. Except in classes where I completely trusted the teacher, where I knew my ideas would be really heard, not just listened to, and respected. Teachers like that, teachers like you, change the world. I guarantee that Samantha will never forget today, and neither will any LGBT+ kid in that class.

God, Patton, you change lives. You are the most incredible person I’ve ever met, and it blows my mind that somehow you think I’m worthy of your love. Every day, I try to be someone you can be proud of, and I want to keep doing it for the rest of our lives.” Virgil slipped out of his chair and onto one knee, pulling a small velvet box out of his jacket pocket.

“Patton Sanders, at the risk of sounding cliché as hell, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”

“Virgil… my sweet and sour misunderstood shadowling, I couldn’t do any of what I do without you. You’re as important to me as air or puppies. You make me want to be the best version of me, and there is nothing I want more than to marry you.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes! Virgil Raine, I absolutely will marry you!” Crying, Patton pulled Virgil up and kissed his fiancé. “Now, let’s have some engagement lasagna and take an engagement bubble bath!”

“You’re such a dork. I love you so fucking much.”

“I hope you do, 'cuz we’re getting married!”

“That we are,” Virgil chuckled, tears in his eyes as well.

@mystrangedarkson

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angelkurenai · 7 years

Text

Picture Perfect - Dean Winchester x Reader x Sam Winchester - Chapter 9

Title: Picture Perfect

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader, Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: Around 5k

Warnings: Angst

Prompt: I got it! Can you do a fic where Sam dies while (Y/N) is pregnant with his child and so Dean helps her raise the child and they live the apple pie life and right when Dean wants to propose to (Y/N), Sam returns to life & ANGST. Please and thank you

Special thank you to @gaveherhearttotheliontattoo for being an awesome beta!

Read: Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l Part 6 l Part 7 l Part 8

“I'm gonna have to talk with him.”

“No, (Y/n).” Sam breathed out seeing the expression on your face “No, please. I- I can talk with him, you don't seem in the state to-”

“I'm in the perfect state, Sam.” you huffed, taking Mary from his arms, but you were more hurt about something else “I told him, I made it clear that he and Mary could not see each other and he-”

“Should just accept it? Gosh, (Y/n) do you even hear what you're saying?” the anger was evident in his voice, hell frustration, but his expression and everything else showed how calm he was – for Mary obviously – and you averted your eyes, kissing your daughter's forehead. You almost recoiled at his words. In all the years you'd been with Sam you had seen him angry and let down only a few times, and each of them you didn't dare say a word as it made you realize the seriousness of the situation.

“This is Dean we're talking about, my brother Dean. He's the most stubborn man you'd meet in your entire life. He never goes down without a fight for what he wants and now with Mary- did you really think he was just going to let you keep him away from her like that? He was just too shocked, even if he didn't admit it, and he was a wreck for hurting you so he did't insist on it, but- he's not going to stop wanting to see her.”

“I only want her to be happy.” you whispered, Sam's words cutting you like a knife. Maybe you had been too heartbroken when you saw Dean was leaving, maybe too disappointed and angry at the same time and you couldn't control your actions or words, and it all lead to you looking like the worst mother ever but it was the only thing that lessened the pain and that in your foggy mind had made sense.

“And I know that, I understand that- better than anyone, remember?” he whispered, getting closer as he palced a hand on the small back of your daughter who only looked between the two of you with a frown.

“I know, that's why I understand (Y/n). We've made so many dreams about this little girl, about this life, and we almost had it. Having it taken away, especially in this kind of way, it turns you into a person you don't want to be. But- but don't do this to Mary, (Y/n). I wanted to wait to talk about this but-” he sighed, licking his lips as he looked down at your daughter.

“Sweetie, will you go back to playing? Mommy and- mommy and daddy have some talking to do, alright?”

“But- but I want to hear if it is aboout me and daddy Dean.” she said with an adorable pout and Sam gave her a sad smile.

“Baby please, this is adult stuff. You won't be able to understand much, either. Just- go, and remember that the moment you want to leave you can tell us.” he patted her head as she let a small sigh leave her lips.

“Alright, daddy.” she said a little sadly “But- but what about daddy Dean?” she was hesitant but couldn't help herself from asking.

“Mary, I gave you a promise. I intend to keep it, you don't have to worry about that. Everything is going to be alright, we will sort it out.” he said softly, leaning down to kiss the top of her head as she looked down at her hands with a small pout.

“Will you mommy?” she asked and up to this day you couldn't help but feel surprised at how she could catch some things even when you tried for her not to.

“Yeah, baby we will sort everything out. Your daddies and I will.” you swallowed the lump in your throat as you averted your eyes from hers, for the first time in very long time because you were not able to actually face her while saying something you doubted so much yourself. Besides when had you ever said something this complicated and tried to make it seem easy?

“Alright” she breathed out before you loosened your grip on her and she jumped from your lap.

“Mary?” your voice stopped her before she could leave completely “I love you princess.”

She smiled brightly up at you “I love you too, mommy.” you leaned down and pecked her cheek as she did the same with you “Daddy asked me to tell you that he loves you a lot, too.” she said in a low voice, and with a small smile and your smile unfortunately fell. You felt your heart tighten inside your chest, mostly when you realized how much it still actually meant to you. It wasn't as if you could just forget it in a couple hours but you wished you could hate him for doing this to you more than love him... but that didn't seem like the case.

You and Sam only watched her in silence as she ran away to her new friends. Even after a good few minutes you didn't dare remove your eyes from her, mostly because you wouldn't dare look at Sam. You knew – and hated even more to admit it to yourself – that whatever Sam was going to say, as he already had, was right.

“He loves her, (Y/n). More than his own life.” Sam breathed out, breaking the almost silence.

“I know that, I know.” your voice was hoarse as you looked down at your hands.

“Yet you asked of him to never come close to her? That seems logical, yeah.” he said and you frowned.

“I just- I was doing everything in my power to protect her. She- she can't live like this Sam, with a biological father she met only two days ago and another that actually is her uncle but never knew about it and has now left because- apparently everybody else's happiness matters the most? Can you even understand how messed up that is? Yeah, well I bet you can.” you let out a breath “I am trying to make this as simple as possible for her, Sam. Maybe at some point he could come back as- as her uncle, but I can't have her worrying all the time and thinking about when- when daddy Dean will come back to see her... or if he will come back.”

“He'll always come back to her, you know that. No matter what happens Dean will always come back to her... and you, that's something I have no doubt about.” Sam shook his head.

“Still, Sam-” your voice showed how tired you were “Still. I don't want to risk her happiness, I can't afford that. I- I can't think what might happen next, and I don't want her to be in the middle of this.”

“Do you not, (Y/n)?” his voice was accusing so you finally looked at him.

“What is that supposed to mean?” you whispered and he gave you a sad smile.

“For how long will you keep hiding from me? You know I can read you like an open book (Y/n) and we both know this is not only about Dean and Mary. It's mostly about Dean and you, and you can't hide that as much as you try. Not from me at least.”

“Hide what?”

“That you miss him, that you want him here and that what he did hurt you to the point you couldn't think straight and practically demanded something you never would, for him to keep his distance from Mary.” he said matter of factly as you chewed on your lower lip “Come on, (Y/n) we've always been honest.”

“Yes, before your death Sam. But you died, you were gone for years and so many things changed. And yes, yes what Dean did hurt me so fucking much I- I am scared to admit it because- because it was worse than when you died.” you swallowed the lump in your throat as Sam went silent, you fought back the tears and kept going “Do you even realize how much that scared me? And then- then I realized that he was just taking away from me so much that I- I loved without even asking me, Sam! He didn't even ask me, didn't even talk about it. And I- I felt like I was losing everything all over again, so yes maybe I was overreacting maybe I still am but- but it- it-”

“Hurts” he whispered the small word as you took in a shaky breath.

“I can't even look you in the eyes without- without feeling my skin crawl because of how guilty and sick of myself I feel for what I did but- but I can't change it, Sam. And I hate myself for that, trust me I do. I wish I could do something but I- I love him, Sam. I really love him and- and yes, him leaving me hurt me so fucking much I couldn't think straight. Of course I don't want him away from Mary, of course I want him in her life and- and of course I want him to be her father, even as you are here for her, because I know how freaking much they both mean to each other- because I know that he loves at her like his own daughter, she's a piece of his heart and I- I can't tear it away from him because I can't stand to hurt him this much... even if he just has. Gosh.” you almost choked on a sob as you pushed your hair out of your face, wiping a stray tear “I miss him so much already and I hate myself so bad for saying it out loud... to you.”

“(Y/n)” you felt Sam take hold of your hand closer to his but you didn't have the heart to look at him “There is no reason to feel bad, believe me. I- I know that, despite everything, I am still important to you. Maybe not in the way I remember, not in the way I wish I was but- that's something you'll be the one to figure out over time. However, I know that Dean is important to you. He's always been, even before my death and... I'm sure that's something you have realized yourself.”

“Sam please don't make me say that too.” you chewed on your lower lip, closing your eyes for a moment.

“I won't, don't worry.” he said with a small smile “I've never done it before, you know it, I love you too much to.”

“Do you even realize how messed up we are that my boyfriend's- ex boyfriend's brother telling me that, is one of the most normal things I've heard?” you breathed out a pained laugh and he gave you a small smile, shrugging.

“I think we both know we're far from normal. We've always been.”

“Yeah, yeah we have.” you clenched your jaw, looking at your daughter with a frown “Sam-” you looked back at him “I know that we could probably talk forever about this, because I really have too much fucking explaining to do, I know I do but now I- I can't think of anything else but-”

“Dean?” he completed your sentence when he noticed you cut off yourself abruptly.

“I know you're the last person I should talk to aboout him, I know I should probably be done with talking about him to be honest. I should be over this, or at least close to that and not still thinking about him. I know I was harsh, alright, yeah I know I was. But did I not have even the slightest right to, Sam? I- I just- he just bailed on me like that and I-”

“No, no (Y/n).” he shook his head, rushing to stop you “No, I am not blaming you. Dean isn't either, I know that. It's just- you thought you were doing the right thing but weren't; we've been through that so many times before and Dean and I have done so much worse we can't even think of judging you. But now- you know there is only one thing that matters: You have to admit your mistake and I don't mean just to yourself but to him, (Y/n).”

“Wh-what?” your eyes widened slightly “No, Sam I- I can't. No, not that. I mean I- I don't even know how I am going to let him close to Mary, I can't- I can't just see him, especially now.” you bit your lower lip, crossing your arms over your chest as you felt your lip tremble. How could you ever admit it to him? It would mean having to face him and you were by no means ready to do that.

“You're being a little stubborn now, you know that?” he gave you a small smirk and you huffed, almost like a little child. Well, he probably didn't know it but Dean was always the one to make the first move when you two argued- not that everything had ever been so serious anyway.

You sighed as you whisped out another stray tear, sniffling “I don't want him to stay away from Mary, Sam.” you mumbled and squeezed his hand “You of all people can see it crystal clear: Mary is my world. If I realize that keeping her away from Dean hurts her-”

“It is.” he cut you off gently and you bit your lower lip.

“I won't keep her away from him. I didn't really intend to keep her away from him, not- Not forever. I want her to be happy Sam, and if she needs both of you then yes I will let you both be there for her, no matter how hard it proves to be. “

“So I- I can tell Dean that you're alright with... him seeing her? That you are taking that back?” he asked reluctantly and biting your lower lip you let out a long sigh.

“It was going to happen sooner or later, I know it would. Angry and hurt me hoped that maybe it didn't have to but- still. I hate myself for giving in so fast to be honest. He hurt me Sam but it's not fair to do this to Mary the most. Yeah, you can tell him. I didn't mean it, Sam. You of all people know it but I don't- I don't really want you to say it so soon. Just let him- let him be for some time, please.”

A sigh of relief left Sam's lips “I knew you wouldn't be able to take it for long. Don't worry, (Y/n), now you are doing the right thing.”

“Yeah of course.” you pursed your lips, looking at your hands with a frown “I can do everything for her, even swallow down my pride, I promise. I'll do it all for her, though, Sam. Only for her. So don't ask me to go talk with him, don't ask me to change my opinion about him or my mind on everything I said to him apart from this. Other than Mary, he has no right on me. I just- I don't want to see him, Sam. Never again if possible. And yes, maybe I'm doing this because I am selfish, but let me be Sam! I need for once in my life to be selfish and I don't care what he does with his life.

“That's not true.” he whispered and you looked at him with a blurry vision still “You care what he does, that's exactly why you're saying and doing all of this. You care about him, and you care to know how he is, if he's doing well or not and we both know that. We've always been too close, the three of us - now four, which was always exactly what they used against us. We have always been too close for our own good, and maybe if we weren't we wouldn't be in this exact situation, who knows.” he shrugged.

“Who knows.” you repeated, taking in a deep breath “Sam, can I ask you something? But I need a honest answer.”

“I've always been honest with you, you know that.” he said and you gave him a sad smile.

“Did you know about this? Did Dean tell you about what he was going to do?” you asked, fearing to hear the answer because you couldn't afford to lose your trust in Sam but at the same time needing to hear it more than anything.

“No, no (Y/n) I swear.” he said after a long pause - or did it look like that to you? - and you let a small sigh of relief “I- I could see that something was wrong with him when he talked to me. When he apologized, but I didn't know he'd do that and- and I'm sorry, I should have probably seen it coming, should have done something to stop it but I-”

“Sam don't.” you shook your head “You didn't know it and you couldn't do anything. It's not as if... I'd blame you if you did know it and didn't stop him, or even tried to. We may be avoiding up until now because of Mary but- but it's always there. Or at least it has been, Dean and I are over now... I guess. But-” you frowned “He apologized?”

Sam pursed his lips as he looked down at your hands that were still together, none of you even thinking of pulling away “For everything. He... felt guilty for- for you and him. For what you feel for each other and he said he was sorry that above everything... he couldn't change how much he loved you. He said how sorry he was that these four almost five years have been the worst and best of his life because of you know. I could see it was too much for him, I could understand it and I know I wanted to tell him something to- to make it better but I was too hurt, too angry, too... jealous, as much as I hate to admit it.” he confessed and you squeezed his hand.

“Nobody can blame you for that and I certainly am the last person that can judge you too.” you gave him a sad smile.

“It doesn't matter, not now at least.” he glanced at Mary, smiling fondly at his child in a way that made your heart swell inside your chest “We both know as parents that now that she's here, in our lives, she's a priority. She was from the moment we found out about her. When I found out.” he looked at you with a small grin “Or at least when all freaked out you spilled it to me.” he chuckled as you shut your eyes at the memory, not the most ideal way to tell your boyfriend he would be a father for sure “And we both understand we have to put her first and not hold any grudges on each other, that's why I am putting everything aside... and that's why you should to.”

“I wish I could, Sam.” you found yourself locking fingers with him the way you'd do so effortlessly in the past “But it's not that easy, not anymore.”

~The following morning~

“And that's all of the things I need for today.” you said handing Sam the small list “Sam, really I could go myself, it's no big deal.”

“No, (Y/n) you don't have to. What am I here for?” he said, putting on his jacket “Besides, you let me sleep here. Eat and everything. It's the least I can do.” he shrugged.

“This house is yours just as much as it is mine and Mary's, I need you to know that. A bed in the guest room is the least Ican offer you. Besides, you take such good care of Mary and I'll have to return to my job very soon, I only have today off and that's it.” you dried your hands with a towel.

“I'm taking care of my daughter, you shouldn't have to thank me about that.” he said firmly, looking deeply in your eyes as you sighed and gave him a shy smile “But you know I'm not doing this because of the bed in the guest room. You are not alright, (Y/n) and we both know it.”

“Sam I told you, I am fine! Just look at me!” you motioned to yourself but he didn't smile, he only clenched his jaw.

“I am, and you look nothing like fine to me. Just because this very moment the room in not spinning for you and you don't want to throw up the dinner the way you did last night, doesn't mean we're over it. You're going to see a doctor the soonest possible, and I'm not taking no for an answer.” he gave you a stern look and you rolled your eyes.

“You have not changed one single bit.” you huffed “Fine, yeah fine I'll see a doctor when I have time.”

“Tomorrow.” he said, giving you a look and your eyebrows only shot up in surprise.

“Sam!” you exclaimed, giving him a look “Seriously, relax. It must be a bug or something for all we know. It will be over soon. Point is I feel much much better now. Besides-” you crossed your arms over your chest “Who knows, maybe it's a witch and while we are supposed to look for a hex bag we are at the doctor and everything gets worse.” you smirked but he wasn't smiling at all.

You could partially understand him. You looked like hell the previous night, it almost scared Mary, and you couldn't even begin to imagine how worried Sam must have been when the tray with the food fell from your hands. It felt like a mix of both your worst hangover and food poisoning, which you really believed was the case because you had ordered out.

“Very funny but you're not off the hook, we will go to the doctor. Tomorrow. End of discussion.” he stated gently yet in a stern tone and you rolled your eyes at him.

“You really have to stop worrying so much.” you muttered.

“About you? When have I ever?” he asked with a small smirk and you chuckled, nodding your head.

“Right, so no witch hunting and only grocery shopping hm? Fine.”

“But mommy-!” Mary's voice caught your attention and both you and Sam looked down. The man knelt down to help her put on her jacket “Witches are not real!” she giggled and you only smiled, not just because of what she said but because of the way she said it. She was particularly scared of them after watching Snow White and Dean and you had tried very hard to convince her that they weren't real and couldn't hurt her. And now she really seemed to believe it and actually say it herself while laughing.

“Of course they are not, I must be really silly to say that.” you giggled, patting her head as she laughed.

“So what's real then?” Sam asked with a dimpled smile as he held the jacket for her to put her arms through the sleeves.

“Unicorns!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air as Sam and you chuckled. You leaned against the kitchen counter, watching them with a smile.

“And how do you know that?” he got finished helping her but still stayed at her eye-level.

“Mommy and daddy Dean told me! They even showed me pictures! They are so beautiful daddy!” she grinned, her green eyes sparkling with happiness.

Sam chuckled, patting her head “Of course they are, sweetheart.” he kissed her forehead as he got up “Picky much?” he said to you in a soft voice with a smirk and you laughed, shrugging.

“Alright, princess. Let's go.” he said as he took hold of her hand.

~*~

“Daddy Sam where are we going?” the little voice made Sam look down and smile.

He gave a squeeze to Mary's hand and looked back up “I thought I told you, grocery shopping.”

“But the grocery shop is on the other direction where we left out car.” she pointed back, grinning up at him as he laughed.

“You're too smart for my own good, just like your mama.” he chuckled, bending down to pick her up with a squeal from her “We will go grocery shopping too, but first we gotta visit someone that seems to have missed you a lot.”

“Who?” she frowned, tilting her head to the side as she looked at the cars around her.

“Someone you love very much and that I know you will be very glad to see.” he said, pecking her cheek.

“Who?” she repeated her previous question “Mommy said we should hurry because she's gotta make pie and I can't wait for that.”

He chuckled “Of course you can't, you're a Winchester.” he shook his head with a smile “Dn't worry, we won't take much timee. I just made you a promise and I really wanted to keep it. I made a promise to someone else too and this was the perfect chance.”

“Does mommy know?”

“Well technically, no. But she will find out, just let me be the one to tell her ok?”

“You're sneaking on mommy.” she giggled and Sam smiled at her “Daddy Dean would do that many times, although it was mostly for getting her gifts. She always liked those, and I helped him pick out a lot of things. From- from that (y/f/c) dress, to a pair of shoes so sparkly like for a princess to- to that ring.” she rambled and Sam paid as much attention as he could with all the thoughts running through his mind.

“Ring?” he asked, glancing at her as she gave him a small nod.

“Yeah in that, small box that is- is-” she made hand motions and funny faces that made Sam chuckle “Are we going to get her a gift too?”

“Well, I am not sure. Maybe we could another time after we've planned everything out. For now something else matters, which I don't know how fond of it she'll be. She won't be mad, not really,I know that but we couldn't miss out on this opportunity. Besides, he's missed you a whole lot.”

“Missed me?” she gave him an adorable frown.

“You'll see princess.” he said, putting her down as he raised a hand to knock on the door but it burst open before he could realize it.

“Daddy?” Mary's eyes widened but a smile slowly appeared on her face.

“Hey pumpkin.” the man breathed out as his own grin could almost lighten up an entire room “Wanna give your old man a hug?” he breathed out as she seemed frozen in place for a moment.

She glanced at Sam as if for permission and with a smile he gave her a subtle nod and without waiting a split second she jumped, and ran towards the older Winchester who didn't even think of bending down to pick her up as he hugged her, a small squeal leaving her lips.

“I missed you daddy, so so much!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around his neck as he held her tightly to him.

“We saw each other just yesterday sweetheart.” he said but Sam could see it clearly that he had missed her too. Maybe it had been a little less than 24 hours but then again he was used to spending almost all of his day with her, Sam knew that's what he at least would try to do himself, so being separated even for a few must have been really hard.

“But it's been too long.” she pouted at him and Dean chuckled, a kind of laugh Sam had not seen his brother have ever before.

“If you say so, bug.” he said in a lower voice tone as he kissed the top of her head once more and moved to the side to let Sam in. The younger Winchester walked in, closing the door behind him as he took a look around him. It was exceptionally clean for a motel room used by his own brother.

“Never thought there would come a day when we'd be inside a motel and it would be this... tidy and all.” Sam muttered with a perplexed look and Dean let out a chuckle.

“A thing or two stuck with me while raising a kid, I can't help it anymore.” Dean shrugged with a smile, that fluttered slightly when he realized what he'd said. Probably not the most ideal thing considering who said kid was and what his brother was to her.

“Daddy, when will you be coming back? Mommy's not all that happy, and she's sick missing you.” Mary mumbled, catching their attention as Dean only gave her a tight smile.

“If she's so sick missing me she could have done something about it.” Dean mumbled mostly to himself. Sure, he knew he didn't have the right to speak not when he had practically left you without a warning but he couldn't help but feel slightly hurt himself, not because of Sam or what you told him about Mary, but because of the fact that you didn't do much to stop him. He thought- hoped that you would at least try to convince him to stay, that he actually meant something to you; but that to him it only showed that you had never gotten over Sam.

“But she can't do anything, she is sick daddy. She feels really dizzy sometimes.” Mary insisted and only then did Dean really understand what she meant, literally.

“She's what?” he frowned, worry etching inside him as his head snapped to Sam.

“It's fine.” Sam said softly, shaking his head “She's better today, she thinks it's a bug or something we ate last night. But I'll make her visit a doctor tomorrow, just to be sure.” he tried to soothe him down but Dean still felt on edge.

“But you will come back to take care of her?” Mary looked up at him but he shook his head, sighing heavily.

“Sweetheart, we talked about this. I don't think I will be coming back anytime soon. Besides, your mommy isn't really fond of me being close to you either.” he gave her a forced smile as he sat her down on his bed.

“Does she know you're here?” he asked as he sat next to her, and then placed her on his lap.

“No, but- there are maybe a few things you need to know.”

“Of course she wouldn't. Would kill you if she found out, what excuse did you find this time huh?” Dean asked bitterly.

“None, we just found the opportunity to come here the soonest we could after Jody told me where you were staying. But that's not the point as of now. She- (Y/n) and I had a talk.” Sam said, taking a chair to sit right in front of his brother “And she's realized her mistake.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“She won't keep you away from Mary, she doesn't really want that. Never did actually.” Sam breathed out with a gentle smile and Dean's eyebrows almost shot up “She was angry-” Sam continued “And I won't disagree with that, but she was mostly hurt and she didn't realize what she was saying that day. I- I talked with her, at the park and later at home about what she told you and- she hates herself for that Dean, she really does.”

“But she won't tell me herself, will she?” Dean pursed his lips as his eyes casted down to the little girl.

“Dean come on, man. Just because she regrets what happened between the two of you as far as Mary is concerned doesn't mean she can just as easily face you and apologize. You hurt her, alright? You really hurt and as much as you are my brother you know that on this- I will take her side. And, no-” Sam clenched his jaw “It's not becaue of what happened between her and I, or mostly between her and you. It was not right, what you did to her, and we both know it. You gave up on her, Dean, for Chuck's sake! You ca't just expect her to be alright with it, forgive you and come here with a smile and Mary and tell you everything's just peachy because you know all too well- it's not!”

“You don't have to rub it on my face, I know what I'm doing- what I did was wrong. But you know I have no other choice.” Dean grumbled as Sam shook his head.

“I'm not rubbing it in your face and you know it. You've heard worse from me.” he said honestly “But you're a father, Dean, for the love of!” Sam exclaimed, but still in a soft voice and Dean's breath almost got caught in his throat “You can't act like a child.” he added and Dean was still caught staring at his brother.

“What is daddy Sam talking about?” Mary's voice broke the silence and Dean looked down at her, a perplexed look on his face.

Dean opened and closed his mouth several times, unable to comprehend the few words that had been uttered in less than a minute “It's nothing, sweetheart.” he breathed out, ruffling her hair “Just making a casual talk, that's all.”

“About mommy?”

“Yeah, and how daddy Sam is taking good care of her. And how that's the way it was always supposed to be.” he said, his smile slowly falling as he turned to look at his brother almost in sorrow.

“But it's not, not anymore. And that's what I am mostly here to talk about.” Sam said firmly, his back straightening.

Dean looked at his brother with pursed lips as he took a deep breath “Meaning?”

~Three hours Later~

“(Y/n)?” Sam's voice echoed through the house as he opened the door with the keys, carrying the groceries in the other hand.

“(Y/n) we're back!” he said once more, hoping you'd hear him this time. When he got no response he guessed you were upstairs or maybe outside in the garden doing some chore and couldn't hear him.

“Well, hopefully she won't notice we were late now.” he said in a whisped voice to the little girl who giggled at him, running immediately to the kitchen and Sam following closely behind with long strides.

“(Y/n)?” he asked once more, looking through the window but not being able to spot you in the garden.

“That's weird.” he mumbled, shaking his head he set the groceries down “Mary, princess why don't you wait here for a second while daddy goes looking for mommy, yeah?”

“Alright daddy!” she said kindly as she sat down on her chair and started looking through the food to find something to eat.

“Good girl.” he kissed the top of her head as he didn't hesitate a moment and with long strides he made his way upstairs. He couldn't help but feel worried, with the kind of life he had before he died and the things he knew actually existed all kinds of thoughts were running through his mind.

“(Y/n)?” he asked in a still panicked voice as he looked in the bathroom but didn't find you there.

“(Y/n) are you he-” all words got caught in his throat as he swung open the door to your bedroom and he felt his blood run cold when he took in the sight in front of you.

An empty room but not the way he'd expect it to be. It was messy, some things were broken even and the most worrying part of all was the blood that stained the carpet.

~~~

@starswirlblitz @ackles-winchester @errorloadinghappiness @vampire7595 @disneychic8 @uruburock13 @hillface89 @moonstar86 @heycassbutt-67 @sassy-spn-knight-of-hell @winchesterprincessbride @namelesslosers @pretty-fortune @kingbouji3 @osweetdevilo @imagine-inc @band-and-sadness @stationary-queen @alphaallie @like-gabriel-and-castiel @brooke-supernatural16 @mystarsforeyes @imweirdandobsessed @carry-on-my-talking-moose @iamshilohren @dopest-dope-you-ever-smoked @padackles2010 @bebravekeeponfighting @nessy-bearxb @srj1990 @spn-applepie-imagines @myrabbitholetoneverland @missdestiel67 @awesomestperson22 @void-dallison @gotham-s-lover @ginamsmith @sammysgirl-spnlove @my-little-wolfe @hilove7575 @brindz30 @sad-it-can-be-good @benzilla-94 @alxxanderhamilton @redunicorn10 @emmysthougts @sinfuldean @hann-s0l0 @pureawesomeness001 @keepcalm-and-beyou @thenewteennorm @solarxlune @beltz2016 @brebcaballero @k-baileyy @xmadwonderland @theoutlinez @sofreddie @louisespecter @georgialouisea @tas898 @maddieburcham1 @imagine-all-the-imagines @beccabates26 @thevioletthourr

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randisnotonfire-blog · 7 years

Text

I wish I could tell you Peter Parker X Reader

Summary: When Y/n and Peter fight over what is safe for him as Spider-Man events take a dark turn leading to a death, which Y/n suffers from not being able to tell Peter her special feelings for the soft boy.

Warnings: Fluff, Death, Depression, Some cursing, Anxiety, mentions of death and harm

Requested: Nope

Song/s: We don’t believe whats on tv, Glowing eyes by Twenty One Pilots

A/n: This is a very sad fan fiction so sorry m8 :( And i will try and remember my tag list this time lol also I think this is one of my LONGEST fan fics i have ever wrote in my half of a year writing

* * *

You hated fighting with Peter over stuff about his daily job as your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, mainly because the fight would always end with you leaving his room while he is crying for feeling guilty about what happened. You really did like him. You always did, and always will. I remember meeting Peter on the schools’ playground during lunch time, he was stuck on the monkey bars yelling “I’m stuck! Send help!” you tried to hold back your laughter to save the blush for him. He fell for your personality and you fell for his curly fluffy looks, and this caused the unwanted friend-zone while being best friends. It was a good thing that he lived in a apartment 5 doors across from yours. When high school came you had met his other best friend Ned Leeds, Ned was nice but still heavily built. He would geek out with Peter about nerdy science stuff and build LEGO sets together after school with you. And now its crazy to think you’re friend group you had formed is now Seniors in high school, almost in college.

You, MJ, Ned and Peter were all sitting outside during lunch time in Midtown High eating, you were lying in the grass with Peter while MJ and Ned were eating the schools food. You had your legs on top of Peter’s, your body’s making sort of a L shape, “You guys, Its official. I don’t want to go to college” You joked as you looked at the clouds fresh shapes. Peter smiled, “Why not?” “Well..Its just going to be another four more years of learning! And I think I’m done with the drama queens and stuck up wanna be’s” You said as you sat up gathering your trash. “true” Ned said as he took a bite of the sandwich they served, the bell rang for the last period of the day and you all cleaned up and left. When you saw Peter in the hallway you ran over to him, “I’m gonna be coming over to your apartment today, okay?” you said with a smile. He nodded then you all left for class.

When you walked into his apartment you expected to see him but you couldn’t find him, as usual, “Great” you said to yourself when you threw your backpack on his bedroom floor. After a hour or two May left to go have dinner with a couple of friends which left you alone in their small apartment. You sat down on his bunk bed and inspected his room, you looked at his tiny collection of nerdy Funko Pop figurines to his science fair awards. You got up from his bunk bed when you saw a polaroid picture of you and him together, Next to the Polaroid photo there was one of you wearing a pair of oddly funny glasses failing to keep a straight face. You smiled when looking at the old photos, it brought back too many memories.

Flash Back: “Peter?” You asked him when you looked over at him sitting on the old pull out couch in your basement. He looked up at you, “Yes Y/n?” He asked as he put down the book he was reading. “H-have you ever kissed anyone?” You looked down at the white bedding from the pull out couch to avoid any awkward eye contact. “I mean we are only 13..” Peter said “Have you kissed anyone?” He said once again and this time you made serious eye contact. “N-no” You said quietly. It felt like the room was closing in on you when he crawled closer to where you were sitting at the corner. “Y/n” Peter said softly, he lifted your chin up so you would look up at him. You made moonlight eye contact perfectly, “C-can I kiss you?” He asked. You nodded bashfully, he cupped his hands around your cold cheeks. Your worlds met completely when his lips smashed up against yours.

Suddenly the window bust open with a tumbling Peter falling on the floor. “Shit” You said as you jumped up from being startled from him, “Sorry” He mumbled when he got to his feet. “Its fine” You mumbled as you quickly moved away from the cork board above his desk, “What were you looking at?” “Nothing IjustrememberedwhenyoukissedmeandnowIfeelveryawkwardandweneedtostudyPeter” You said fastly, “What?” he said as he walked up to you. “Are you okay?” You nodded, you sat down on the bottom of his bunk bed. Peter pressed the button on his suit causing it to create a pool of red and blue near his ankles, he put on a pair of grey sweatpants and a black shirt. “Are you sure your okay?” He asked once again, “Its just what they were saying on the news about you..” You said as you balled your hands into fists in your lap. “Oh, well I’m okay, trust me” He gave you a weak smile. “But how do I know you are Pete? You are always getting home later than you usually do. Later than you normally do as Spider-boy..” He sighed and sat next to you, you rested your head on his shoulder. “But Y/n I am okay...” he spoke softly as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “You don’t understand Peter, what if one day you aren’t safe. What if I go crazy past my mind because your not safe and something bad happens Pete!” you said trying not to raise your voice from being scared. “Y-Y/n I will be fine” “But how do I know for sure that you will” you lowered your tone of the voice you were speaking at. He sighed and so did you, he knew about your anxiety and depression and how you worried way too much. You let a single tear fall from your face and this made Peter even more worried about you. You broke in front of him. Crying. You got up, grabbed everything you brought with you and left him crying feeling guilty for letting you be like this.

Sometimes I wish I hadn’t tried so hard to be like this. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t listened to the ‘recommended’ stuff to do to be like this with Peter. But he is so out of reach and its hard to be like this. Knowing he likes Liz Allan makes you feel stupid for even having the hots for him, the third time she had a party you had found them dancing together which made you feel horrible. But I know I’m never going to get over him. Because I’m just a sucker for anything he does. This was the first night you had cried yourself to sleep because of thinking what could happen at any moment.

Peter’s POV:

When Y/n left it was a open chance to go back outside and help out, I mean I had calmed down and its only 9pm anyways. Walking down the cold November nights of Queens it felt perfect, using the web shooters I swing up to one of the rooftops to look at the crystal moonlight view. Suddenly a man walks up to me. “Hey buddy” the dark voice says. I freak out and turn around to see who it is. He has a couple of other friends who tagged along with him. But too many to take down, ‘shit this is lovely’. “You know Y/L/N Y/F/N” One of the other guys say. He is covered in a black hoodie. “Y-yeah..Please don’t hurt her please I will give you anything just p-” Peter got cut off by the rude leader “Jump off and she will stay safe” He said harshly. “We saw you with her the other day, little Spider-Man knows a high school student” The guy snickers and pushes Peter up closer to the edge. “W-what?” Peter managed to stutter out, his heart sank. He knew Y/n was true but he didn’t want to feed into her anxiety and depression. And that was all that Peter remembers, being pushed off the 20/30′ building that night. The rest is known for history.

Reader’s POV:

You got a phone call from May, this freaked you out. Running towards the home phone that your mother was holding for you you quickly grabbed it from her and answered the call. “May? I-is everything okay? Whats wrong? Do I need to get to your apartment? Is Peter okay?” you rambled on with questions but you could feel the emptiness from May radiating off on to you. You already knew what was about to happen because you remember hearing ambulance and police sirens earlier outside. “J-just get to the hospital closest to the new office work space near our apartments, you said your good-byes quickly and left.

When you arrived at the hospital you were greeted by one of the lady’s who works there. You told her the information and she gave you the room number but said “The room number is 209, but visiting hours end soon considering it is almost 11pm sweetie”. You nodded and went to Peter’s hospital room. You opened the door quietly and saw him sitting in a hospital bed with May sitting next to him. She gave you a weak smile and nodded letting you know to come inside, you closed the door and set your bookbag by the door. “Pete” You said softly as you looked at his pale body, he was vaguely breathing. Seeing him like this made you cry. You covered your face and tried to calm yourself down as you walked over to sit next to him and Aunt May. “H-how long ago did this happen” you choked out while she tried to comfort you. “It seemed like this had happened around 45 minutes ago” The sound of quiet sobs and the machines beeping filled the room the entire night. May left the room and waited in the waiting room for you to say whatever you had to, to Peter.

You entire twined your’s and his hands together. “Peter, I didn’t say for you to let go yet” you whispered as you grasped his hand a little tighter. “Please don’t leave me yet” You tried to fight back the tears filling in your eyes. You looked down at his hand and kissed his cheek. “I will always love you more than a best friend Pete” You spoke softly. Then the machine stopped beeping along with his slow breathing. “B-bye Peter” You said as you let yourself break fully in front of him.

Stay Alive my friends I-/

Tag list: @thatfemaleholland @thatspiderbaby @vanessalovesonedirection

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flutterby-affect · 7 years

Text

Unconventional Engagement -- Wally West x Reader

I found a prompt that was just perfect for a Wally West x Reader fic. This will also let you guys get a feel for my writing style if you’ve never read any of the stuff I’ve written. It’s a bit on the long side...I’m sorry! I apparently don’t know how to write short fics.

In any case, enjoy some goofy fluff my lovelies!

Word Count: 1488

The sensation of lips grazing over the exposed skin of your right shoulder slowly drew you out of your deep slumber.

A lazy smile found its way to your lips as you let your boyfriend continue before making it known that you were awake. His chest rumbling with soft laughter alerted you to the fact that the man lying beside you was more than aware of your current state of consciousness. The bed beneath you shifted as Wally sat up halfway, one hand planted to support him while his free hand gently pushed your (H/C) bangs from your sleepy eyes. He wore a goofy smile on his handsome face. You scowled playfully up at him.

“I don’t remember telling you to stop.” You stated flatly. The teasing sparkle in your (E/C) eyes let the speedster know that you weren’t serious.

“I know. If it were up to you, we’d spend the rest of the day cuddling in bed and nothing would get done.”

“Unlike some, I have a normal person job and like to have lazy days on the weekends when I don’t have to worry about adolescents paying attention to the lesson.”

The redhead chuckled at your response. “I’m sure your students are always paying attention. You’re too hot to ignore.”

You rolled your eyes at that. The mere thought of your male students thinking you were attractive made you feel uncomfortable. You shuddered in horror the more you thought on the topic. Shoving those thoughts away, you pushed the covers off you and sat up. Your legs hung over the edge of the bed and your hands were placed on either side of you. Twisting your neck from side to side, a relieved sigh escaped your lips at the loud pop! your actions resulted in. Wally made a mock disgusted noise behind you. You snorted at his reaction before standing up from the bed.

As you started to head toward the door, Wally’s hand lightly grasped your wrist. When you looked back at the speedster, he was pouting at you.

“Stay here with me.” He demanded still pouting.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Weren’t you the one making fun of me for wanting to spend the day cuddling in bed?”

His cheeks flushed pink at your words and his grip on your wrist loosened considerably. You smirked in triumph. Gently pulling free from him, you leaned over and placed a feather light kiss to his cheek. A sweet smile decorated your lips as you pulled back to look into his green eyes.

“Come on, you don’t want to miss breakfast. I’m making pancakes~!”

At the mention of the breakfast food, Wally sped out of the bed and into the bathroom. You laughed at his behavior, shaking your head as you headed to the kitchen. You quickly gathered the ingredients you needed and proceeded to begin the process of making the promised pancakes.

You had just placed your third perfectly golden brown pancake on a plate when Wally’s cell phone rang. The two of you had agreed long ago to charge your phones in the kitchen and not in your room to minimize distractions when spending time together.

Not bothering to check the caller ID, you swiped your finger across the screen and placed the device up to your ear. “Good morning to you too, Dickiebird.”

“Morning (Y/N)!” The raven-haired hero chirped happily. “How was your date last night?”

“Fantastic. Thanks for getting us that reservation. We never would’ve gotten in otherwise.”

Dick chuckled at your comment. “Well, there are some perks to being a billionaire’s son.”

You both shared a hearty laugh at his joke. A breeze flew past you letting you know that your boyfriend had entered the room. He smiled at you and gestured to his phone in question. You mouthed ‘Dick’ to him which he nodded in reply. He held out his hand, offering to take the phone from you so you could focus on your task.

“Hey Dick, Wally just got out of the shower. Do you want to talk to him?” You asked.

“Just tell me, did you say yes?”

“To what?”

There was silence on the other end of the phone. Your brow furrowed in confusion. You drew the phone away from your ear to check and see if the call had disconnected somehow. Once you were certain that wasn’t the case, you placed the device back to your ear. At this point, Wally also had a confused look on his face.

You spoke back into the phone. “Dick? You still there?”

A beat of silence, then he spoke again. “Yeah, I am. Listen, I can’t talk for much longer. Just let Wally know that I’ll call him later.”

“Um…okay?”

“Thanks (Y/N). I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, you too. Later Dick.” You trailed off as the sound of a call ending filled your ear. Still confused, you turned to your boyfriend. “Dick said he’d call back later. He sure was acting weird.”

“Babe, this is Dick Grayson we’re talking about.”

You smiled at his statement. You handed the phone to Wally and refocused on what you were doing. Luckily, you hadn’t burned any pancakes during that odd conversation with your boyfriend’s best friend. He slipped the device into his back pocket then wrapped his arms around your waist. You tore off a piece of the next pancake you finished and held it up for the speedster to eat. He gladly accepted and munched happily on the food you’d made for the two of you.

“Have I ever mentioned how good at cooking you are?”

“You could stand to mention it more.”

Again, you felt the redhead’s chest rumble with laughter. He placed his chin on your left shoulder and sighed in bliss. His eyes were closed and he wore a content expression on his freckled face.

“What did I do to deserve such a talented, sassy, beautiful girlfriend like you?”

You giggled at his question. “Beats me. How’d I end up with a goofy, flirtatious, handsome boyfriend like you?”

“It must have been fate.”

The two of you fell into comfortable silence. You continued to make pancakes and feed small pieces to Wally. After a few more minutes of silence, Wally sighed once more. He nuzzled his nose into your neck and breathed in deeply, enjoying the natural scent you gave off. You smiled softly at his actions.

“I’m thinking a spring wedding, or maybe fall. I don’t want it to be too cold though.”

“That’s nice and all,” you began, “but we’re not engaged Wally.”

You felt Wally stiffen. His entire body felt like it had tensed up. Worried, you turned your head to see him better.

His face had gone pale and he had a ‘deer in the headlights’ expression on his normally cheerful face. Wally’s green eyes seemed to widen beyond what was humanly possible and his mouth hung open in disbelief. His arms that had held your waist tightly had gone slack and hung limply by his sides.

Concerned, you reached up and cupped his cheek gently. “Wally? Are you okay sweetie?”

Your concerned tone seemed to snap him out of his stupor. His disbelieving expression quickly morphed into a guilty one then into a sheepish smile. The speedster chuckled nervously as he reached up with one of his hands to grasp your hand. His free hand also reached out and took your other hand and he held both in between the two of you. You tilted your head to the side in confusion.

“What’s up?” You asked trying to keep the concern from your voice this time.

Wally chuckled nervously again. “This isn’t exactly how I had planned this to go. Last night was when I had decided to ask you. How did I manage to forget?”

The last part seemed more like a question to himself more so than to you.

Then, everything seemed to click.

“You mean…?”

“(Y/F/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), will you marry me?” Wally asked softly. He brought your joined hands up to his chest causing you to step closer. His green eyes bore into your (E/C) eyes, begging for you to say yes.

You shook your head slightly and laughed softly. “Only you would propose to me so casually. What am I going to do with you?”

“Marry me?”

“I’d be crazy to say no.”

Wally shouted in delight and quickly dropped your hands. Clasping you around your waist, he lifted you into the air and spun the two of you in a circle. Your laughter mingled with his and filled the small apartment. Finally placing you back on your feet, Wally leaned forward and placed his lips against yours. You leaned into his chest to deepen the kiss. After a few moments, you two parted and smiled at each other giddily. Wally leaned his forehead against yours.

“I love you, (Y/N).”

“I love you too, Wally.”

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angelkurenai · 7 years

Text

Picture Perfect - Dean Winchester x Reader x Sam Winchester - Chapter 4

Title: Picture Perfect

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader, Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 4,592

Warnings: Angst

Read: Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3

“Mommy?”

“Yes sweetie?” you asked, swallowing the lump in your throat as you got up and walked towards her. For a moment you held your breath as you knelt in front of her.

She opened her mouth to say something but obviously decided against it and instead asked-

“Who is that?” and there it was, there was the question you found just as hard to answer. Obviously the only thing Dean did was keep her occupied upstairs as you imagined.

“He- uhm” you cleared your throat, glancing at Dean for a second and then at Sam “He's... family, sweetheart. He is family. Really close one actually-” you said and a big smile spread on her face. One thing Dean had taught her amongsteverything else was: Family is always important. And he had made sure she understood that family wasn't only blood relation.

“Family?” she asked with a small tilt of her head and you looked at Dean behind her who seemed to be holding his breath.

“Yeah baby.” he breathed out, his voice more hoarse than you'd heard it before. No wonder he was struggling with keeping his emotions under control in such a situation.

“He's actually... real close family.” of course he couldn't say it because having her call Sam her uncle would be worse than hearing her call Dean her father.

Before you could realize it and before you could stop her yourself she was running from your hands to Sam who seemed to be getting stiff as she aproached him. For a moment both you and Dean were quiet surprised with how open she suddenly was but then again even if she didn't know it... Sam was her father.

“Hi” she said still shyly as he extended her small hand “I'm- I'm Mary. I'm sorry I didn't say hi before.” she said in a low voice, hugging her stuffed bee closer to herself as she looked up at Sam with an adorable smile. Sam let out a shaky breath as he looked from her to you with an almost awestruck but also panicked look on his face and you offered him a soft smile and encouraging nod.

“It's- It's ok princess.” he giggled as he leaned forward so that he'd have a better look at her “I'm Sam, it's great meetingyou.” he took her small hand in his and shook it with a small chuckle that made her giggle as well, their smiles were so much alike and they didn't even realize it.

“Wow Mary, you got a really firm grip there.” he said with a dimpled smile and you couldn't help but feel your heart flutter.

“Thank you” she giggled as she rocked back and forth “Daddy taught me that.” she giggled, looking at Dean and Sam's smile fluttered for a moment but he tried to cover it up “And you've got really pretty hair.” she said with a grin and he chuckled.

“Really?” he seemed to relax at Mary surprisingly enough open up fast to him “Well thank you. My brother would always want to cut them for me but I just refused.” he laughed and you bit your lower lip, glancing at Dean who had a soft smile on his lips.

“No!” she exclaimed in a small whine but laughed nonetheless “They are perfect!” she jumped as if to emphasize on the word and you and Sam laughed “Can I braid them some time Sam?” she asked enthusiastically and he nodded his head with a grin.

“Anytime you want, Mary.” he breathed out, his eyes glistening slightly.

“Really? Thank you!” she giggled turning to you “Hear that mommy, Sam is going to let me braid his hair!” she grinned at you and you smiled.

“I always try to braid daddy's hair but it's too short.” she mumbled with a small pout as she turned to Sam and you literally held your breath.

“I can see, but it's alright. What am I here for? Tell me Mary, what is that cute little animal you're holding?”

“It's not real!” she giggled as she threw her head back with laughter “But it's a stuffed bee, uncle Cas gave it to me when I was a baby!” she hugged it close to herself and he grinned.

“Really? Oh wow I would have never imagined. And do you have more animals like that Mary? Stuffed, not real.”

She laughed as she looked up at him a little shyly, nodding her head “Yes, I love animals. My room is filled with them, I could show you one day.”

“And which one is your favorite? Is it this little bee?”

“I love the bee but my favorite one is a moose daddy got me for Christmas, but it's really big and I can't carry it around with me.” she pouted slightly and Sam gave her a half smile.

“It's ok little one, one day you'll grow up and you'll be able to carry it around easily.” he grinned at her “I was smaller than you when I was your age actually.”

“No” her green eyes widened as she looked at him in wonder “But you're so so tall now!”

“I know” he chuckled “My big brother doesn't really like it either but I loved growing up to be taller than him. Meant I could tease him more.” he laughed and she giggled.

“Who is your brother Sam?” she tilted her head to the side asked the most simple question a kid could have at that moment but not one that could be answered so easily given the circumstances.

So as that silence fell and Sam glanced at you, going serious without having to say a thing and for a moment you could understand just why. You decided to break the awkward silence by clearing your throat.

“Sweetie-” you spoke up and she turned to look at you “Was there something you wanted?”

“Uh ye-yes.” she fidgeted with her stuffed animal “You promised we were going to make chocolate chip cookies today mommy and I'm getting really hungry. Daddy said that- that since we have guests I shouldn't interrupt but-”

“It's alright, baby.” you smiled softly, not daring to look at Sam as she uttered the small word as you walked towards her and picked her up “Besides, I'm sure Sam would love to help making them. Right, Sam?” you looked at him as he was staring at you with almost wide eyes.

Maybe it was because you felt guilty, maybe it was more than that, or maybe it was because he actually deserved to come closer with her and her to get to know him. As much as part of you wanted to deny that, and oh you hated yourself for that, he was her real father and she'd have to find out in the end.

“I- yeah, yeah I'd love to. If- If Mary doesn't have a problem?” he asked softly, looking at her as she grinned and shook her head.

“Yes! Yes!” she giggled, glancing at Sam with an adoring smile.

“Al-alright then.” he breathed out a little nervously, looking at you as you gave him an encouraging smile.

“Baby why don't you go in the kitchen with Sam and show him all the stuff we need, he can help you get them.” you told her and she nodded her head with a smile as you kissed her cheek.

You set her down and she looked at Sam who was standing nervously there, just looking at her with almost tear filled eyes “Come on!” she grinned, taking hold of his jeans and guiding him towards the kitchen.

“You didn't tell her.” it wasn't a question but a statement, after a few minutes when Jody went to talk on her phone.

“How could I? And what the hell am I supposed to tell her first?” he let a small growl, running a hand down his face “I just- I couldn't. It's not... not my-”

“Don't you dare.” you gritted your teeth, looking at him dead serious “You've been the father Mary always wanted and needed. You raised her, without you she wouldn't have been born. She owes her life to you as much as she owes it to Sam so don't you dare tell me that now that Sam is here as a biological father he has more rights than you do.” you felt your voice crack in the end but you didn't care.

“No, no I-” he swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head as with a soft sigh he wrapped his arms around you “I know that this is fifty shades of fucked up-” he whispered as he buried his face in your neck “But we'll figure something out... right?”

“We always do.” you wanted to smile at him, you really did, but you just couldn't find it in yourself.

“Uhm” you heard someone clear their throat behind you and for a moment you panicked.

“Sorry” Jody said “It was Alex, they said they need me home for- you know girl stuff, I just- I wish I could stay but-”

“Jody” you cut her off “It's alright, thank you for everything and for taking care of Mary.” you smiled as she gave you a hug.

“Just- you kids make sure you don't end up making it worse, right? Mary- she's the one you have to think about at the moment. Her happiness is all that matters but at the same time-not with lies. I'm not saying this was wrong, I was from the first ones that said this was how it should go but- Sam's here now.” she looked from you to Dean “He's alive. And you need to be careful on how you're going to bring it out to her.”

“Thanks Jody, we will.” Dean said as he proceeded to give her a hug too.

“And you know- Sam's included. You need to tell him everything too, you know it right?” she looked at him and he nodded his head as he escorted her to the door. You saw them exchange a few words but you were too occupied with the happy sounds that were already coming from the kitchen and quiet honestly couldn't keep yourself from smiling.

But you definitely missed the look Dean gave you from the doorway.

~*~

“What are ya two doing?” you asked with a smile that honestly came naturally as you saw her happily explain to Sam about everything she knew about the kitchen equipment.

“Mary's trying to explain how the microwave oven works.” Sam said with a chuckle and you giggled as you ruffled your daughter's hair.

“Is she really? Wow seems like someone has been paying attention then.” you chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

“Mommy can Sam come sometime to play with me? I want to show him all my stuffed animals!” Mary asked you with an adorable smile and you chuckled.

“Of course, baby. He can come anytime he wants, this is his home too. And he can stay to sleep here too if he'd like it.” you nodded your head and she jumped up and down.

“Hear that Sam? You can come here anytime you want! And sleep! We could have a- a- sleepov- sleepover?” she asked and giggled and Sam laughed, picking her up as a squeal left her lips.

“I definitely did, princess. And I can't wait for that sleepover yes.” he chuckled “You could braid my hair then too.” he said and she grinned.

“Yes yes! Mommy can we do the cookies now? Sam promised to read me one of his favorite books later.” the little girl looked up at you with big green eyes and you nodded your head with a soft grin.

“Absolutely princess, but first we gotta wash our hands right? Come on, let's go to your bathroom.” you took her from Sam's arms after of course she gave him a small hug that made you both chuckle and her to giggle.

“Alright, you're gonna see him in five minutes top don't act like that.” you chuckled as she gave you an adorably shy smile, her arms wrapping around your neck as she rested her head on your shoulder. You looked at Sam who had a soft grin on his face and you smiled at it. You honestly were happy they were doing well and Mary was already bonding with him, it would make things easier in the very end.

“Daddy! Daddy!” she exclaimed as she saw Dean making his way to the kitchen and you stopped on the doorway as she extended her hands towards him “Are you going to help with the cookies too?”

Dean chuckled softly “I'd love to, princess but I don't think it's really my thing. If you need any burgers for later though absolutely.”

“Yes yes burgers!” a wide grin spread on her face and he laughed, leaning in to kiss her cheek. He almost leaned in to kiss you as well, it was a habit anymore but he collected himself. You frowned softly and he held your gaze for a few seconds.

“Love you daddy!” Mary's voice caught his attention and he smiled at her, ruffling her hair.

“Love you too kiddo.” he whispered to her and she gave him one last smile before you both made your way upstairs.

~*~

“You've done a great job with her.” Sam's voice broke the silence that had fallen between the two brothers and Dean looked up.

“Huh?”

“Mary” Sam said with what could only be described as a bittersweet smile “You've- you've been an amazing father to her. She talks about you a lot,without realizing it sometimes.” he chuckled “She adores you. You really are her hero. But- I guess I should know that firsthand right?”

“Sammy” Dean started, voice hoarse but the younger Winchester shook his head.

“I don't blame her Dean, of course not. Neither her nor you. Or even (Y/n). How can I? Mary's become such a wonderful child and- and it's all thanks to you, I don't doubt it. I know- I've gotten to experience it. I'm really happy that- that you became a better father than dad.”

“But you wouldn't want me to be that for Mary.”

“You're her uncle Dean, not her father. And if you want me to tell you the truth- yeah, I wish you wouldn't have to.” Sam nodded his head, locking eyes with his brother “Gosh, I hate myself so much for saying it but- Dean, I just- I wish I was here to be that for her.”

“You know it might seem weird but- I really wish you were here too.” Dean swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Look I don't know what has happened all these years, not really, when both of you seem to avoid telling me.” Sam pursed his lips for a moment “But for now I care about my daughter, and about the fact that she'll have to find out the truth. Whether you like it or not.”

“You know that the only thing I care about is her and your happiness.” it was not a question but a statement as Dean clenched his jaw “Yours and (Y/n)'s, so yes even if this is hard she'll find out. Mary will get to know the truth and believe it or not I would like her to.”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” Sam smiled mostly sadly.

Dean sighed and shook his head “I don't know what the hell is wrong with you. This is much worse than when I was gone in Purgatory-” he ended mumbling as he ran a hand through his hair “But I'm not going to question it. You either believe me or not. It's up to you, I know I am saying the truth.”

“I know that Dean, it's just- I'm sorry, fuck I'm really sorry. I only am- it makes me slightly jealous that's all. Especially at the way she talks about you but- but I can't say you don't deserve it.”

“Mary's your daughter, Sam.” Dean breathed out “A-and yeah I raised her as mine and I loved her as mine. And that's how I am going to love her for the rest of my life, nothing will change that, but that's how it was from the very first moment you found out about (Y/n)'s pregnancy. She is family, that's all that matters to me. I would give my life for that little girl any freaking moment in the very same way I would give my life for you, and (Y/n).”

“I know that, I know.' Sam smiled softly “It was the only thing that, that actually made me feel less sad when I- yeah.” he cleared his throat “I knew that even if I wasn't here, she'd always have you. And you'd love her just as much as I did no matter what. Either I was here or not.”

“That doesn't mean you can't love her though, Sam” Dean pursed his lips for a moment and Sam sighed.

“I know, I know. I am just- I am not sure how I am going to show it. I've been dead for her entire life and now- I don't know how she'll react.”

Dean's eyes casted down as he clenched his jaw. He knew Sam was right, he knew that anything Dean would say was not going to change the fact that now... he had to take a step back. He didn't have to be her father anymore because her real one was alive. And Dean would only be the uncle anymore.

“Well, you're back now aren't ya?” Dean asked mostly to fill the silence that surrounded them.

“Try to sound a little more happy.” Sam breathed out with a laugh but Dean's even smile for a second. He only looked at his brother with a clenched jaw.

“I am” he all-but-barked at the younger Winchester who immediately regretted his words.

“I know” he sighed “I know, Dean. Trsut me, I do.” he shifted in place “I didn't- I didn't mean that, God no- I- It's just- I came face to face with something I never expected to and- and I'm honestly at a loss. I'm so lost Dean it scares me- It scares me, D.” he looked up, tears welling up in his eyes and even if Dean was angry his heart ached for his little brother, he could only begin to imagine how it felt for Sam to see all he knew had changed “I didn't mean it.” Sam mumbled, before bowing his head.

“Yeah, you better.” Dean grumbled as he opened the fridge and grabbed a cold beer, opening it and taking a sip.

“I really need to thank you for everything you've done too. (Y/n) told me about the hospital and I- I really need to-”

“Sammy” Dean cut him off, speaking more softly this time “Don't thank me for doing something I wanted. There was no way in hell I'd let anything happen to any of them. And as for this-” he looked around them “-you and me didn't have it, doesn't mean Mary shouldn't. She deserves it, and I've made sure for as long as I can that she doesn't know about what's after her all the time either. While keeping her safe of course.”

“I didn't doubt for a second you would.” the younger Winchester smiled, for the first time after Mary's appearance, fully and sincerely at him.

“So... I'm guessing you didn't give her a 45 then?” Sam asked with a small smirk and after a second of silence grins broke on their faces and they both managed to chuckle.

“Really? Nah” Dean shook his head “I am honestly just waiting till she's 9.” he added and they both laughed more.

“Do you realize how messed up we are that that sounds fun now?” Sam asked with a grin and Dean chuckled, taking a sip of his beer.

“Yeah well, we're the freakin' Winchesters.” Dean shrugged and Sam nodded his head.

“And there's just more of us.” Sam whispered and Dean smiled fondly.

“You know, you probably don't notice it at first but she's so much like you it surprises me sometimes.”

“Really?” Sam whispered and Dean looked at him with a grin.

“Yeah, she had about eight or ten books spread around her the other time and when I asked what she was doing she just-she said she was trying to read. Of course, she was failing but I swear she looked so much like you that one time we were in Illinois I think- minus probably the braid.” he chuckled softly and for a moment Sam only looked at him, feeling his heart both swell and ache.

On one hand he didn't even know if he had ever seen his brother smile like this before but on the other he wished he'd be the one to have that kind of memory with Mary. He didn't mind his brother having such moments with her, if anything he loved it because he knew that Dean was amazing to her, but at the same time he couldn't help but feel his heart drop as he had no single memory like that with his daughter.

You stood in the doorway with Mary for a few minutes, just smiling at watching the Winchesters laugh and their conversation drift to almost irrelevant topics. For a moment it almost felt as if not a single day had passed and you could almost feel less guilty about your own feelings. You could almost feel that everything was going to be alright and most importantly what the two of them had was not going to be ruined because of, well, you. You almost – but only almost – felt as if Sam had never been gone, as if everything was alright amongst the three of you and you wouldn't have to tell Sam sooner or later about what was really going on between Dean and you.

Almost. For just a second. Because you cold pretend this was the bunker's kitchen and you stood on the doorway for a moment, just listening to them fool around and smile because they were always going to be such kids. Gosh you just couldn't wait to hear that “jerk – bitch” of theirs. How long had it been since you last heard that? It felt like it's been years upon years but in reality it wasn't that much. And maybe as you hugged Mary who had her arms wrapped around your neck and head resting on your shoulder you could pretend it was only yesterday but... it would be just that. Pretending.

Reality was different. And it was not as sugar-coated as you remembered it before Sam's death. Not that hunting was what you imagined your life to be like at first but even that was something you'd gotten used to, something that was actually part of your life and got you to meet Sam... and Dean. And even if this house and normal life was something you longed for, you certainly didn't want it to be in this way. Yes, maybe you could pretend everything was alright but nothing actually was. You had to tell Sam everything, and actually reveal to Mary who her real father was. Mary.

You shook your head softly and patted her back to get her to open her eyes. You smiled at her as you made your way inside the kitchen “Come on sweetie, let's make those cookies because you seem to be get pretty tired already.” you told her and once you looked away from her you found both Winchesters' eyes on you.

~*~

“She will rarely let anyone put her to sleep but Dean.” you mumbled as you gathered her toys from the floor and Sam the plates and beer bottles that were on the coffee table.

It had been almost an exhausting evening but a pleasant one in its own way. Mary seemed to not be having enough of Sam, five hours and even if she felt sleepy and tired she wanted to keep playing and talking with Sam. It was incredible how she already considered him her best friend.

“At some point I thought she was going to fall asleep during the first minutes of the movie.” Sam said with a chuckle and you grinned.

“Well you promised to read her a book, she never misses a chance like that.” you said with a fond smile.

“Really?” he whispered and you chuckled.

“She's so much like you that you won't be able to believe. Just- just wait a little, when she lets you to get to know her more. She's an amazing kid.” you looked fondly at the toys you held in your hands and Sam's eyes remained on you, a smile on his own lips.

“But then again she's a Winchester so...” you trailed of with a grin and Sam chuckled.

“You know-” Sam got a little more serious “I know that Dean is being an amazing father to her and I- I wouldn't want anyone else to play that role if I was gone. He's been more of a father to me than John and I- I just am happy to see how much she loves him, because he deserves it. He deserves that and so much more, and I don't want her to stop. I want him to be important for her, just like he's always been for me because he deserves it.”

“But?” you whispered, frowning at what was to come. Somehow you had a bad feeling.

“But I am here, (Y/n). I am alive and I know it- it might sound selfish or- or something but I haven't seen my child for- well its entire life. I think I am entitled to be a little selfish, right?” he said in a low voice and you instantly felt bad for him, if only he knew the entire truth. Gosh it would crash him.

“Sam” you whispered, taking a step closer to him.

“I know it's going to be hard, and I know I should probably wait or something but- I- I can't really. We should probably ask a professional, wait some time for her to know me but- I've waited for so many years, (Y/n). Time runs differently upstairs and being who I am I just- I wouldn't stop thinking about her and you and coming to this to know that all of this happened, I just- I don't want to be selfish, I swear. But I came back and she was the only thing I could think about. She was, is and will be everything to me.” his voice cracked an your heart broke all over again as you saw the tears in his eyes “I don't want to take anything away from Dean but I know that Mary will love him, no matter what happens. But I need it to be out, (Y/n). It's just- it's weighting on me like you have no idea. I've thought of meeting her so many times, pictured different reactions and all kinds of scenarios and always ended up thinking that I am foolish, that there would be no coming back. But I came and- and I'm sorry, mostly to Dean, but- but Mary has to know the truth. As soon as possible.”

“And by soon you mean?” you bit the inside of your cheek, scared about his answer. Worried about your child's reaction and certainly... Dean's.

“Tomorrow, if possible.”

~~~

A/N: Tags are still open! If you wanna be added tell me down below because I don’t wanna miss any message inmy inbox, it’s a mess there. Also, I would really really appreciate it if you told me what you think of the story so far. I am grateful for everything, as always, but I would love to have a piece of your mind on this story please? I’m just back from the hiatus and I am so self-conscious about getting back into series that it almost scares and worries me, and I need your help so much.

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