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samkerrworshipper · 7 months

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let me love you | Leah Williamson x Reader

a lot of angst, ending in fluff, themes of eating disorders, depression and alcohol abuse, 5900 words

please keep sending request yall i need something to feed my brainnn

i’m stuck on a blurb for this so basically just what happens after a rough moment in r and leah’s relationship, can they fix it? can they learn to love each other again? the photo i’ve used says it all lol

it’s piecy and i think u can see my sleep deprivation in this one but hope you enjoy!

I’d known going into camp that I was in trouble. That as soon as the team doctor did our pre camp exam that I was going to be fucked. With the extensive weight loss I knew that it was only a matter of time before I was approached but I hadn’t expected it to be the first night.

I’d been lying in my bed, in my room by myself. I was rooming with Keira this camp, but luckily enough she spent most of her time in Lucy or Leah’s room so I didn’t see much of her. I’d had the tv playing in the background, to fill the room with something other than the sound of my breathing and the sound of me scrolling through my phone. Then my little bubble, my perfect barrier that I’d created was broken by the resounding noise of someone knocking at my door.

“Y/n, it’s me.”

Sarina. Fuck.

“It’s open.”

It was probably the polite thing to get up and open the door but I was comfortable in my bed and while Sarina was terrifying I couldn’t see her getting mad at me over something so minor. The door cracked open and I switched the tv off out of respect for the manager who had closed my hotel room door behind her. Her face was unsteady, like she was unsure how to approach the conversation, something that I’d never seen on her.

“You missed dinner.”

“I feel asleep, the jetlag has tossed me around a little bit. I didn’t even realise until I woke up twenty minutes ago.”

It wasn’t a lie, I had travelled an obscene amount in the past twenty four hours. I’d flown from Cabo to New York, then spent 20 hours in New York with Kristie and some of the Gotham girls before getting on a plane to take me to Barcelona, where I’d spent a very short eight hours with Keira and Lucy before we got on a plane to London to bring us to camp. It had been hectic to say the least and had resulted in one of my suitcases being lost and me being in a very lengthy back and forth discussion with British Airways about how my luggage had ended up in Austria and that no, I didn’t have the time to go to Austria to retrieve it.

“I think we need to have a talk.”

Sarina’s foot was tapping nervously at her side, it was her tell, she was about to have a hard conversation that was not going to be easy to go over.

“Okay.”

She nodded at me.

“Meeting room 2, five minutes?”

I gulped, fuck, a meeting room. It had gone from informal to a little bit to formal for my liking. I nodded regardless, too scared to reply in any other way.

“Yes Ma’am.”

As soon as Sarina had left my room I was throwing myself out of the bed to throw on some proper clothes and make myself look a little bit more presentable. I threw on my light blue tech fleece and puffer jacket that we all had and then very haphazardly threw my hair into a greasy high pony. I pushed some mascara through my eyelashes and some moisturiser on my skin before coming to the conclusion that no amount of makeup was going to be able to disguise the purple bags under my eyes. Once I was done making myself look a little bit less dead I picked up my phone and keycard from my bedside table and left the room, making my way down the hallway towards the meeting rooms.

The meeting rooms had a multitude of purposes, zoom calls, skypes, video review, contract signing. Business stuff mainly, not a talk with your coach. That was what had me trembling a little bit as I made my way closer to the meeting rooms. When I got to the door of the second one, the one I’d been told to go to I waited outside of it for a few seconds before lifting my fist and knocking twice on the door. I didn’t have to wait long for a reply, Sarina was at the door opening it for me in a matter of seconds. I stepped into the room quickly, my eyes recognising all the faces in the room.

I was directed to a seat at the table, sitting directly across from Sarina, Leah, Millie and our team doctor. Lucy and Keira were seated on either side of me and the whole vibe of the room was enough to tell me that I was royally fucked.

“We are all here to have an open conversation about your recent medical exam.”

I kept my eyes on my own hands, which were resting on the table, playing with the rings that adorned my hands. I couldn’t look up, couldn’t bear to look into the eyes of a woman who a few weeks ago I had loved so intensely and now couldn’t even think about without crying.

“You're here to tell me that I’ve dropped a dangerous amount of weight considering my normal weight class, that I should get some further tests done even though we know that there is nothing medically wrong with me. We’ll beat around the bush a little bit, try to ignore the fact that we all know that you can’t allow me to play when I’ve dropped this much weight and then you’ll send me home.”

Sarina’s jaw was set firmly, I could make out that much as my eyes darted up to the older woman quickly to catch a look at her facial expression.

“Do you want to die Ms y/l/n.”

I was taken aback massively by the question, because who asks a person that question, especially in this context.

“I don’t feel comfortable having this conversation with certain people in the room. I don’t want to die necessarily but living right now isn’t exactly ideal either. I’ve had a rough couple of weeks, I’ll admit that, I’m aware. I’ve neglected my body, prioritised other things. I knew walking in here that I’d dropped 2 stone and I wasn’t proud of it. I just went through an intense break up though, I’ve been in Cabo for three weeks, most of which I don’t remember. I know that it’s bad, I know that as an athlete we have expectations but I need some wiggle room, I need you to give me a shot to make this better. Because I honestly believe that in this environment I can fix it, I’ll get the weight back, I’ll get back into therapy or whatever. I’ll give up the bad habits, I just need a period of grace.”

I couldn’t look at Leah, couldn’t let myself out of fear that my brave face would fall and I’d be left in shambles sitting here. I just needed to convince Sarina that I could get my shit together.

She was in front of my brooding for a few minutes, leaving everyone in the room in an awkward silence.

“Everyone out besides Leah and you.”

Fuck.

I watched as everyone else slowly got up, Lucy giving me a reassuring pat on the back before exiting the room.

“I’m giving you both five minutes to explain what the fuck happened between you two, because as much as you both want to make it sound like nothing it isn’t. Everyone can feel it and obviously it's affecting the both of you.”

I still couldn’t look at her, it just hurt.

“Seems like I’m the only one who’s suffering.”

“That’s not true nor fair y/n. Leah’s having her own struggles.”

I snorted and rolled my eyes at the table.

“She’s the one who caused the problems in the first place so I’d call that karma.”

The tension in the room was thick, like a cloud laid over us.

“That’s not fair, you had a part in it as well.”

“I had a part in you kissing Jordan at a party?”

“Jordan kissed me first off, drunkenly, she apologised profusely to both of us when she was sober. You soberly made the decision to kiss fucking Alexia.”

If the tension could have thickened anymore, it did.

“You cheated on me with your ex, I think I can cheat on you with my ex situation.”

“Do you realised how fucked up that whole ideology is? I didn’t want to cheat on you, anyone who was there that night will tell you that I physically pushed Jordan off of me, I didn’t want it to happen. I know it hurts you, but you wouldn’t even hear me out, you didn’t answer my calls or texts. I didn’t know where you went, just heard from Lucy that you’d decided to go abroad for a few weeks and you were turning your phone off. I spent 3 days sitting in Keira’s apartment balling my eyes out because I missed you so much, I haven’t slept properly ever since, I can’t fucking live without you y/n/n.”

Leah was sobbing and it hurt a part of me that I didn’t know existed. I wanted to hug her, wipe the tears from her face and apologise for my stupidity, to make it all better. But I was stubborn as shit and I also hadn’t really forgiven Leah. I hadn’t forgiven myself either.

That night had been the worst one of my life. Seeing Leah making out with Jordan had broken my heart and before I knew it I’d been running out of the bar we’d been celebrating in and calling Ale because she was my person and then she was picking me up and taking me back to my apartment and she was comforting me on our sofa and then we were kissing and Leah was walking in, mascara smeared and tears down her face and then Ale was running out of the apartment. I ended up waiting for Leah to fall asleep before I’d fled. I’d been terrified, my fear response was flight, when I was scared I fled, so that was what I’d done on that godforsaken night.

“I don’t really give a shit who did what. You both fucked up, that’s evident. We have the olympic coming up, Leah you are coming off of an ACL injury and you are going to be our captain, y/n, we need you on top of your game for us to win. I won’t deal with this team being torn into shreds because the both of you are too stubborn to talk about your feelings. Am I understood?”

Both Leah and I nodded meekly at Sarina, the both of us equally terrified of the dutchwoman and the tone of voice she was using towards us, like we were six year olds.

“Y/n, I’ll give you a grace period, two weeks. You’ve got two weeks to show that you can make some improvement in your habits, but there will be conditions if you wish to continue training and playing during those two weeks. You will eat every single meal, with the rest of the team. You aren’t going to work out beyond our team scheduled gym sessions. You will go back to talking to a therapist on a weekly basis. You are going to socialise with your teammates instead of holding yourself up in your room by yourself. You and Leah will room together until you can prove to me that you can be civil. If any of these conditions are broken you will find yourself sidelined, am I understood?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Sarina nodded at me, her blue eyes staring intensely into my own, I was trying to get away from this situation, away from the confrontation that was only bound to get worse the longer Leah and I were stuck in a room together.

“You are free to go, I expect to see you at breakfast tomorrow morning.”

I’d given Sarina a quick nod before bolting out of my seat and straight out of the room. I was pretty sure I’d had the worst 96 hours of my life. My whole body felt like it was on fire, my hair and face were still greasy from all of the airplane travel and my eyes just hurt. I half jogged my way back to my room, slamming and locking the door behind me almost as soon as I’d closed the door behind me. I slowly slid down against the solid wood, this whole situation was so fucked.

Not only did I have to focus on being fucking civil with a woman who I hated, I had to fucking turn my whole life around in a matter of two weeks, which right now seemed pretty fucking impossible. I wasn’t a person who cried very often, I wasn’t in touch with my emotions like that. But right now, fat, warm, wet tears were dripping down my face and my lip was wobbling between my two front teeth trying to suppress the sobs that were coming up from my throat. Love hurt. Loving someone and being loved is one of the hardest things that I’d ever done, because it’s not easy to spend every day loving a person, it fulfilling but it also is so fucking painful.

I could hardly make up the energy to get off the floor, so I didn’t. I sat against the door, crying, shaking and trembling as I let out the feelings that I’d built up for the last month. I was a person who didn’t cry very often, when I was drunk, when someone died, when I was really hurt. That was the extent of my emotional release. Leah was similar, that’s why we’d hit it off, neither of us were over emotional, we didn’t read into things and we didn’t over complicate anything. At the end of the day neither of us had to worry about the other one getting offended by a joke or drunken words. I’d honestly believed we were soulmates, for a long time, but that night had wrecked it all.

Both of us had been stupid, it had been the celebratory night of our win in the Nations League, we’d beaten Spain, it was a big deal. Everyone was completely wasted and I didn’t remember much of the night until Leah had been on the dance floor with Jordan, Chloe, Millie, Rachel and some other teammates and one moment Leah is motioning for me to join me and the next Jordan is making out with her and I’m running out with Lucy following me. Then Lucy called Ale because I’d locked myself in our hotel room ensuite. Then Ale was there and she was comforting me and hugging me and I was pissed off at Leah and then I was kissing Ale and she was telling me no and the Leah walked in to comfort me and it was just a fucking mess of alcohol and emotions.

Just thinking about that night had hurt, I hadn’t let myself in the last month. Not when I’d been in Cabo drinking all day and night, clubbing and partying and spending all of my spare time trying to push my emotions away. Then I’d gotten the call from Sarina, I’d been expecting it but it had still shocked me for some reason. In a matter of 24 hours I’d been packing up all my shit and hopping on a plane back to the one place that I couldn’t have been more desperate to avoid. I’d contemplated turning down the call up, but a call from my agent had told me that I couldn’t expect an invite back if I turned one down now. The Olympics was a big deal as well, it was something that I did want to do but the overwhelming anxiety I had felt being faced with the reality that I was walking into a group of people that worshipped the ground that my ex girlfriend walked on.

My thought pattern was interrupted by the sound of knocking directly above my head. The sound pulsated against the wood and across my body, seeping deep into my bones. It was a resounding knock, loud, echoing across the room.

“Y/n, open up.”

It was the voice that I least wanted to hear at that moment and I tried my hardest to ignore it but the sound of the knocking repeating made it harder.

“Y/n/n, c’mon, open the door, I know you're in there.”

It was the nickname that only she called me, a nickname I hadn’t heard in a month and it hurt my soul hearing it. It made fresher tears fall from my eyes that I rubbed at furiously with the sleeve of my jumper. I wiped as much of the smudged mascara and tears from my face, I knew subconsciously that my eyes were red and puffy and Leah would one hundred percent be able to tell. For my dignity though I rubbed it all from my face before standing up and opened the door.

Before I could say anything Leah had slipped past me and into the room, making herself at home and sitting down on Keira’s bed, resting herself at the very top so she was leaning against the headboard. I pushed down any thoughts that I had about Leah being in the same position in our own bed, except with a lot less clothes covering her body.

“You’ve been crying.”

It wasn’t a question, a statement, but it held a question in it somewhere. Leah wasn’t used to me crying, so the fact that I was crying was probably a little bit of a shock to her.

“What do you want?”

Leah pouted at me, sarcastically, it pissed me off how confident she was when I felt like I was tearing at the seams.

“In case you didn’t remember, we’re roomies now. I wanted to talk, I think we both have stuff we need to get off of our chests. I love you y/n/n and I’m worried about you.”

“Go worry about Jordan.”

I was leaning against the dresser, trying my hardest to keep my shit together in front of the woman that was making me feel so many things that I had been denying myself for a month.

“That’s fair, but also not necessary. I didn’t kiss her y/n, I didn’t even get as close as a metre’s distance from her, anyone there could tell you that. I pushed her off me. So yes, she kissed me, without my consent or my desire for her to do so. I love you, not her. I promise you that. She means nothing to me beyond being my friend, I don’t love her.”

I didn’t really know what to say. Leah wasn’t really the root of my anger, because I knew that it had been Jordan all over Leah, and at the end of the day she’d come to my room that night to apologise instead of going back to Jordan’s, I was her priority.

“She loves you, and I can’t do anything about that. That hurts and I know that it shouldn’t, I have no right to be jealous but it hurts.”

Leah looked contemplatively at me, like she was trying to understand what I was saying but knew that she couldn’t really.

“Do you love Alexia?”

I gulped, that was a fucked up question that I didn’t have a answer for. My immediate silence gave enough context to that.

“That’s not a fair question.”

I was deflecting and also furiously toying with a loose thread on the edge of my jumper.

“I think I deserve to know if the woman I love loves me the same way.”

It was hard hearing those words come out of her mouth as well.

“I would be lying if I said I didn’t love her. I dated her for six years, I thought I was going to marry her. I don’t love her like I loved you. We broke up because we couldn’t love each other that way. It was a surface relationship, but we both knew at the end of the day that we couldn’t get married or have kids or get old together, we didn’t love each other like that. We didn’t have a messy break up, I didn’t have a phase where I hated her and I wanted nothing more than to be away from her. We just stopped physically loving each other. She’s still my person Leah, you know that. I regret kissing her, I was so drunk and I was so fucking upset and she was so familiar to me in that moment. So maybe I do love her, in some fucked up way, but I don’t love her long term. She’s not the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life loving, not the person that I want to wake up next to, not the person that I want to write vows for, not the person that I want to be with every minute of every day. I don’t yearn for her.”

I realised now that there were tears in Leah’s eyes, which shocked me a little. Leah never cried, I could count the amount of times I’d seen her properly sob on one hand. Four times. When we won the Euros, when she did her ACL, when she woke up from ACL surgery and that night when it had all happened. Apart from that she was a brick wall, she wore a facade everyday, that very little people got to see broken down. I considered myself very grateful to have been able to see past it, to see the side of Leah that not a lot did. She’d let a stray tear go every once in a while, but proper crying, proper emotional, vulnerable crying was very rare to see.

“Do you love me long term?”

“Leah, that's not a fair question either.”

Tears were running down Leah’s face, similar to the tears that had been falling down my face less than five minutes ago.

“It's not fair? I’ve been here for the last month y/n, wondering if we still stand a chance. Wondering if you still love me, wondering if I should wait around for you? I want to know if you still love me as much as I love you.”

I could feel more tears coming to my eyes, Leah was sitting not even three metres away from me and yet it felt like we were oceans apart.

“I don’t know. Does it really matter?”

Leah was wiping at her face, she detested vulnerability and it was clear in her actions.

“Does it matter? Y/n/n, I am trying to figure out if I am going to spend the rest of my life fucking mourning losing the love of my life. I want to know if I stand a chance, if there is something here that we can salvage, something here that we can try and fix. I will spend everyday making it up to you if I have to, anything you need us to do I am down to do it.”

I shifted from toe to toe in my spot standing, Leah’s words were so genuine, they had so much power over me, sent shivers down my whole body.

“I love you. I love you enough though to tell you that I’m a fucking wreck, some of it’s because of this, some of it is just me. Leah I’m trying to fucking sort myself out now and I love you but I’m not going to tell you that your my priority right now, I love you but I also am trying to learn how to love myself and I’m also trying to learn how to love my sport again.”

Leah pursed her lips, wiping the last of her emotional admission tears from her face. She looked so raw, her blonde hair was thrown up in a messy high bun, an unusual look for her, her face was stripped bare of any makeup and her jumper looked a tad bit too big on her. She looked stripped, stripped of her dignity, stripped of her facade, stripped of everything that made her Leah motherfucking Williamson. I wasn’t looking at England’s captain, I wasn’t looking at Arsenal and England’s world class defenders. I was looking at just Leah. The Leah who would wake me up with forehead kisses every morning, the Leah who would give me foot massages after a rough training, the Leah who would only look at me in a room full of people.

“I’ve worried about you so much that I started to get scared I was praying. You took off and I didn’t know with who or where. I mean I know that I fucked up but y/n/n, we could have talked it out, or we could have tried to. You fled and you didn’t even give me a goodbye. I didn’t know if we were done or if I was ever going to see you again and it fucking broke me. I stayed in bed for a week, I didn’t eat, I didn’t leave. Keira and Lucy literally had to drag me out of bed to get me to do anything. I cried, non stop for a week, it was horrible and I felt like shit. Then Lucy got Alexia to come over and we talked it out and she told me that she didn’t mean for it to happen and all she wanted was for us to be happy and it broke me because how am I supposed to be happy when the woman I love is nowhere to be seen.”

A sob echoed from her chest and it broke my heart, because I hated seeing Leah in pain, I hated seeing her hurt. When she’d done her ACL it had been the most gut wrenching thing I’d had to witness. The only difference was that now I was the source of pain and it hurt ten times more.

I pushed myself off of the dresser and towards the bed. Leah’s head was buried in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees as her palms rubbed furiously at her eyes. I sat down onto the bed and pushed myself up against the headboard beside her, putting one of my arms down on her shoulders and gently nudging her head into my neck. It was uncharted territory but also felt so familiar and right. Hearing Leah’s sobs hurt my soul, but my contact seemed to calm her a little bit. She flinched away initially, unsure but then she was seeking it out, leaving into me and everything about it felt right.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry for what happened with Jordan, I’m sorry if I didn’t make you feel loved, I’m sorry if I didn’t treat you well enough, I’m sorry if I’m not good enough. I’m trying to work on it, I’m trying to be better,” I stopped Leah before she could say much more.

“It’s not your fault Leah,” My voice came out with exasperation, because I hated that Leah felt that way,

“You made me feel loved everyday, you treated me perfectly. You are perfect Leah, you were a perfect girlfriend, a perfect captain, a perfect person. We had our moments but you are a good person, you don’t need to be better. I’m the one who can’t fucking handle herself, who had to flee the country when it got rough and I’m sorry for that, I’m sorry that I ran when it got hard.”

Hearing Leah hiccup on her breath was so painful for me, painful enough that I reached my hand down to her face to try and wipe some of the tears off of her cheeks.

“C’mon, you're too pretty to be crying.”

It was a weak compliment that died with the mood of the room, Leah let out a depressing laugh that honestly just made it all worse but her sobs did quieten down a little bit and I noticed that the tremors that were haunting her whole body had slowed down and had become less of a repetitive pattern.

“You haven’t been eating, you lost two stones, did I do that to you?”

Leah’s voice was so shaky, so insanely innate for her.

“Me not eating has nothing to do with you and I won’t have you taking the blame for it. Not everything is your fault Leah and you don’t have to take the blame for it all. I know how your brain works, that you are going to take the blame for everything that has happened between us, but it’s not your fault, a lot of it is mine, my eating habits though have nothing to do with you.”

My voice was a mixture of steady and stern, I had a point to get across and I needed Leah to understand that, I needed her to know that. She wasn’t as fearless and brave as she constantly tried to prove to anyone, she was always the first to blame herself for anything, always getting down on herself and I knew that, I knew that Leah could send herself into a downward spiral.

She pulled her head out of my shoulder and locked eyes with me, her dark brown eyes felt like they were violating me, I felt like I was naked under her gaze, like I was so incredibly vulnerable.

“Why haven’t you been eating?”

I felt like I was under a magnifying glass, like Leah could see every single part of me and could see into my brain. She always worried about me, always. To the point where sometimes it was concerning, I had as much as a sniffle and she was doting over me like my mother.

“I’m fine Lee.”

“If you were fine you wouldn’t have lost two stones.”

She could read me too easily and she knew that I was pretty much putty in her hands as soon as she started talking.

“It got dark for me when I left, I needed to leave but then I was gone and I realised that I was so alone and I was partying to try and avoid my feelings and it worked but you know how I am when I’m depressed, I stop eating, I stop functioning. I lived off of alcohol for three weeks and then I got the call from Sarina and for the first time in three weeks I was completely sober and it hit me like a freight train. I realised how bad it had gotten and I was in shambles.”

Leah nodded at me, she knew how I worked, knew that when I was starting to spiral I tended to push it all down until it got so bad that I had a nervous breakdown.

“You need to eat, we need you playing, I need you on the field. It broke my heart when Sarina came and told me, when she asked me if I’d seen any of the warning signs or if I’d noticed and I couldn’t give her an answer.”

I brought my hand back up to rest on Leah’s face, she was still shaking, still hiccuping with every word that she said. I pushed the tears that were pooling on her face away with the pad of my thumb.

“I couldn’t even tell her anything.”

Leah’s words were thrown out between choken sobs and hiccups, it was so strung out and painful that I felt it in my chest.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that, I’m sorry I deserted you. I’m so sorry I hurt you Lee, you deserve better, you deserve someone who has their shit together.”

Leah pulled herself out from beside me and scooted herself so she was sitting in front of me, between my legs looking at me directly.

“I want you though, I want to love you and I want you to let me.”

I couldn’t do much more than look at her, look at her eyes, look at how heartbroken they were. They were full of so much pain, so many sleepless nights and a part of me wanted to fix some of that.

“Let us be happy, let all of this devastation come to an end and just let us be happy. We’ll work through what happened, we can try therapy, or something else. I want you though y/n/n, I want you forever and I don’t want us to give up on that because of some stupid shit that happened when we were drunk.”

Those fucking eyes, they held the sun and the moon, they had the power to make me do anything.

“I want to try, for us. I still think that you are my forever Leah. I just don’t want either of us to get hurt in the process.”

“Love hurts, we work through it. Please just try it for me.”

Her lip was wobbling in between her teeth and it took every single piece of self control I had to not take that lip in my own and just kiss the woman like I wanted to.

“Okay.”

Leah’s face lit up almost immediately, like a kid in a candy store. She leant in towards me, her lips hovering centimetres away from my own and her eyes looking into my own and it took literally every piece of my self control not to initiate anything.

“Is this okay?”

Leah’s voice was calmer this time, less rough on the edges, less broken. I nodded eagerly at her and relaxed into her body as she pressed her lips to mine. It was soft, tender, relaxing, so perfect.

“How about this?”

It was murmured against my lips, a small smirk forming along Leah’s lips.

“So good, but I think we are both overdue for some sleep.”

Leah frowned against my lips but nodded, we were both tired and it was obvious in our actions. She plopped herself down next to me, relaxing into my body and laying her head against my chest.

“Flick the lamp of love.”

The term of endearment sent a shiver down my back, it was so normal and yet so shocking to me. I obeyed her immediately, turning over to the bedside lamp and flicking it off so we were left in the dark. I shrugged my jacket off before relaxing down into the pillow. Leah shifted around for a few seconds, finding a comfortable spot on my body before stilling herself. She looked so small curled up against me, I tugged her hair out of its bun and rubbed her roots just the way I knew she liked me too and rubbed her back the way I knew sent her straight to sleep. It probably took not even a minute before Leah’s body relaxed fully and her breaths evened out and when they did I smiled a little bit looking at her exhausted form. I leant down and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before relaxing myself fully against the pillows and preparing myself for my own sleep.

“I love you Leah, always.”

#woso #leah williamson #lionesses #marry me rn #arsenal wfc #woso community #leah williamson x reader #sarina wiegman #lucy bronze #kiera walsh #angst #rip my mental health

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anonymous-dentist · 8 months

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Okay I did some vod searching and here’s Cellbit’s pov of the prison announcement (in the form of a pretty badly clipped video lol)

A couple of things to note:

The silence

The stammer

The knife

The eyes

First, the silence, because it could be easy to miss from another pov because he was already pretty quiet before. But you can see the literal second it registers what Forever had just said because the change in the silence is palpable. He didn’t even raise his voice above the noise when he asked Forever if he was being serious.

Second, the stammer. This is a man who is very good at talking. Look at him during the presidential debates, nothing was able to keep him from talking, not even his own suicide. But then here he… can’t talk. He’s that shocked, and he’s terrified. See:

Third, the knife. Now this knife. Now this knife. It’s his emotional support murder knife. He only brings it out when he feels scared, and it’s gotta be a real deep fear for him to bring it out. It’s only been a few times, namely when he’s been triggered over his past, most notably when he and Richarlyson explored the Federation prison after Pac’s kidnapping.

And then fourth, the eyes. After he takes the knife out, Cellbit’s eyes flick back and forth between Forever the audience in what appears to be genuine confusion. Because, and this is important, Forever never told Cellbit about the prison. So between the fear and the Horrors, there’s some actual legitimate confusion in there because he didn’t know about this.

So now, after all that, let’s take a look at q!Cellbit’s character in general because I know there are people who don’t know about his very tragic backstory.

So Cellbit was in prison for… something. Probably murder tbh, but that was never confirmed. He was in prison with Pac e Mike and he was a really bad person. As in, murdering people, threatening people, ripping human ears off, stabbing, inciting riots (I think???). He killed Felps. He almost got Pac and Mike to kill each other.

And then, after being left to die alone on an island, Cellbit got some goddamn help for the first time in his life.

Before prison, he was in a war (ie the Hunger Games.) Then he was in prison, and the math is hunting towards him being incarcerated prior to his eighteenth birthday. He was 18-ish when he was in prison, and he’s 26 now, and he spent those eight years in therapy. Now he’s a better person, and he’s a very scared person.

He has many triggers, but the one that’s come up the most has been prison. He killed Abueloier that first time because they were in a prison-like cell. After hearing that Pac e Mike were arrested, he almost became another person as he interrogated Foolish (just watch that vod back, the whiplash is there.) When exploring the Federation’s prison, he was visibly on edge, clutching his emotional support murder knife and tensing when he saw all of the cells and almost stabbing Cucurucho when it appeared. Foolish asked if he could arrest him, Cellbit immediately turned him down, and he went behind his husband’s back to convince Foolish not to arrest him, either. (I’m not sure if he knows in-character about the prison cell in the new murder mystery game, but he will Not be happy if he gets put in there.)

So. Prison.

He wants to be a better person, is the thing. Cellbit doesn’t like thinking about who he was as Cell- he canonically even avoids cellphones when he can (see: Abueloier.) But he can’t help what happens when he’s triggered: he killed Abueloier, he almost attacked Cucurucho and risked his whole new infiltration plan. He’s worried about hurting someone again, because he knows he’s capable of it. He might not be the best at pvp, but that doesn’t matter when half the server is just as bad as he is (/affectionate.)

He doesn’t want to hurt his family, and there being a big huge physical trigger all of a sudden in the form of this prison he wasn’t ever told about has clearly made him realize that, oh shit, this could be bad. Bad for himself, and thus bad for others.

#qsmp #long post #idk guys I’m just thinking here #I’m very tired hah

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embrosegraves · 3 months

Text

𝔻𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕊𝕞𝕦𝕘

(request) Carlos Sainz Jr x Reader "Are you decent?" "Probably not morally, but I've got clothes on, if that's what you're asking"

Dating a Formula One driver meant that life would never be smooth sailing. For a lot of people, this was terrifying and if you were honest with yourself, it did scare you a bit at first. However now that you were a few years into it, it wasn’t as bad as you once thought. Sure there were moments that you wished you could live even a tiny bit more privately, but such is life unfortunately. One thing you were grateful for about this chaotic spin on life (besides your boyfriend of course), was that your career was thriving. There was no way your career wouldn’t thrive. You were a lifestyle vlogger with access to the unadvertised side of a world famous athlete.

You had been filming snippets of your life long before you had crossed paths with Carlos. Having been in the vlogging business for 8 years now, you had been dating Carlos for 3. Carlos was well aware of your career choice and while it had taken him a while to get used to you filming every other week, he eventually came to terms with it. He even managed to start having a bit of fun with it. Your fans always loved when Carlos made a cameo in your videos.

Currently, Carlos was getting dressed in your shared ensuite, having just finished showering after his training session, while you were filming in the kitchen. Today had been a filming day for you. You had taken the camera with you as you went grocery shopping, explaining that you were planning a home date for Carlos and yourself. You filmed as you went shopping for a small gift to give Carlos and you filmed as you prepped the food you planned to cook with Carlos later.

Originally, you were content with waiting for Carlos to be done before you even went near the bedroom but you had forgotten something that you had left on your vanity. Camera in hand, you thought why not record the retrieval as a sort of spy-esque montage. It would be fun for the fans and yourself, and who could say no to pretending to be a spy? Opening your bedroom door, you moved the camera in a way that made it look like you rolly-pollied your way across your room. Making sure the camera was facing you, you began to ‘sneakily’ rummage through everything on your vanity in search for the “hidden jewel that had been stolen by pirates”. However it was nowhere to be seen.

“Alright guys, I think we’ll have to give up on being spies. I’m pretty sure I left it in the ensuite because it’s not on my vanity.” You explained to the camera. “There’s just one problem. Carlos is currently in said ensuite and I have no idea if he’s naked or not. Which isn’t normally a problem but I’m selfish so I’m gonna gatekeep that from you all.”

You quickly made your way to the ensuite door and knocked loud enough for Carlos to hear over his music. You could hear him turn off his music.

“Yeah?” He called from inside.

“I’m filming.” You said. “Are you decent?”

“I mean probably not morally, but I’ve got clothes on if that’s what you meant.” You heard him laugh to himself as you opened the door. You poked your head through first, just to be safe. Seeing that he was indeed dressed, you moved the camera to face him.

“I’m keeping that in, I hope you know that.”

“I would hope so, that was hilarious. The people need to know that I’m funny.” He walked up to you and gave you a kiss. “Did you need something?”

“Mmm.” You hummed as his hands came to rest on your hips. “I honestly don’t even remember what it was.”

Carlos chuckled before he grabbed something from the bathroom counter. He held it in front of you with a smirk on his face.

“It wouldn’t happen to be the mini ring light that you always forget to put back on your vanity, would it?”

Your sheepish smile told him everything he needed to know.

overall, I'm pretty happy with how this turned out. With twitter in shambles over what happened, I thought I'd post the Carlos request I had in my drafts, as a treat/distraction.

I hope you all enjoyed!

Likes, replies and reblogs are always appreciated!

#formula 1 x you #f1 x reader #f1 fluff #formula one #formula 1 #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz jr x reader #carlos sainz #cs55 #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz jr #carlos sainz jr fluff #carlos sainz jr imagine #carlos sainz jr fanfic

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lovebugism · 10 months

Note

hm maybe for blurb you mentioned, some nervous reader about a storm/ reader being shy about having storm insecurities w/Steve?? it’s storming pretty bad where I am so that’s what made me think of it lol

hi, lovely! i also have a pretty bad fear of storms so this is a very self-indulgent fic hahah tw for mentions of parental abuse, not heavily described — the one where steve protects you from a big, bad storm (hurt/comfort, 1.7k)

bug's summer fic fest ♡

You’ve always been scared of storms. Maybe thunder most of all.

Thunder was loud, and it shook the walls whenever there was enough force behind it. Sort of like the voices of your parents when they were upset — which they were pretty often. At you, most of the time.

You hear a crash! rumble in a black sky, and it makes you feel like a child again. You usually did whenever you were frightened. And being a child again was more terrifying than any storm.

Steve knows you hate when the weather gets bad.

Not because you’ve ever told him as much, but because you shake whenever it rains too hard, trembling like a leaf on one of the trees outside. You tense when it thunders, squeeze your eyes shut when it lightnings.

He doesn’t know how much it really terrifies you — he can’t because you don’t let him see it — but he knows the fear is there.

It’s why it hurts him so bad to leave you when the sky grows dark.

Gray clouds hang heavy, and the smell of rain swirls in the whipping wind. The wet, earthy scent is so potent that it seeps in through your closed window. Thunder rolls softly in the distance — the promise of a soon storm.

Steve doesn’t want to leave, but he knows he has to. He opens at Family Video tomorrow morning, and he doesn’t have any clothes at your place. You live pretty far away from town, too. He’d have to wake up before sunrise to swing by his house to get ready.

You know this. So for his sake and yours, you pretend you’re not as scared as you really feel.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Steve presses.

He stands just over you, right beside the bed you’re curled up on. He shoves his feet into his already-tied sneakers and looks for any reason not to leave. He peers down at you with glittering honey eyes that swim with concern, bushy brows pinched in a puppy-like worry.

You muster a wavering smile up at him, half of your face shoved into your pillow. “I’m okay, Stevie. I know you need to go.”

“But I can stay if you—”

“I’m fine,” you assure in a dramatic drawl. “You should go before it gets bad, okay? I don’t want you driving in the rain.”

You meant it. The last bit mostly, though maybe not the first one as much.

You’re just scared of being a burden. It was your fear that made you a bad daughter. You don’t want Steve to hate you the same way your parents did.

“Okay...” Steve concedes, though his distantly perturbed look only slightly ebbs. “I’ll call you when I get home, yeah? I’ll stay on the phone with you all night. Won’t even make fun of you for snoring, either.”

He says it just to make you smile.

You do, but just barely.

“Okay,” you hum quietly, almost inaudibly, in response.

Steve bends at the waist to press a kiss to your mouth. He rests a wide palm on your arm as you lift your head from the pillow to meet him halfway. Your lips lock with his pink ones in a chaste kiss goodbye.

Thunder rumbles overhead — a loud clap that shakes the walls of your bedroom.

Steve knew it was coming. He saw the lightning streak purple in the sky just before he kissed you, so it doesn’t scare him as much as it does you. He feels you jolt against his mouth when you tense at the sudden boom. It feels like he’s holding a rock in his hand.

He pulls away from you a few inches, gazing upon your scrunched face and squeezed-shut eyes with his own look of distant horror. His honey-colored stare floods with concern all over again.

His hand on your arm clutches you more intently, a warm reminder that he’s there — much closer than the wretched thunder.

“You okay, babe?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” you promise though the words sound stiff in your mouth. You haven’t relaxed yet. Or opened your eyes. You’re scared of what you’ll see when you do — Steve’s worried face or your mother’s angry one.

“Are you sure?” he presses like he always does.

He knows many of your responses are automated, like you’ve been coded to shrug him off along with all the fears you keep hidden. It takes a bit of prying for you to be honest sometimes. You can’t open up unless you’re really sure he wants you to.

“Yeah,” you nod, then huff. The sigh tumbles from your mouth in a trembling exhale — distant laughter mixed with distant terror. “That was just… That was really loud.”

“Yeah. It was, huh?”

“I’m good, okay? I’m sorry, I—” You cut yourself off when you open your eyes, finding Steve toeing off the sneakers he only just shoved on. Your brows furrow as your gaze flits up to his. “What are you doing?”

The boy clicks his mouth against his teeth. His sock-clad feet melt into your carpeted floor. “I think I’m gonna stay, actually. As long as you don’t wanna kick me out, that is—”

“No, don’t,” you whine. Not because you don’t want him to stay (because, truth be told, you were praying that he would), but you don’t want him to feel like he has to. “It’s just gonna make you late to work tomorrow.”

Steve shrugs. “Screw work. I don’t care.”

“No, Steve!” you protest. You scooch over to make room for him on your bed, anyway. His larger frame takes up the majority of your mattress. You curl into him despite your fussing. Your legs entwine with his fuzzier ones, your cold feet knocking with his sock-clad toes. You melt into him while you complain, “You can go, okay? I’m fine! Really!”

“Too late,” he dissents as he bounces his shoulder, slightly jostling your cheek resting there. “I’m already comfortable.”

You sigh and tuck your face into his chest. His musky cologne clings desperately to his cotton t-shirt — vanilla and rose and sandalwood. Your left-hand curls into the fabric as you clutch onto him.

“I just don’t wanna you to think I’m a baby or something,” you confess and rub your burning cheek against his clothed chest. “You don’t have to stay—”

“Stop,” Steve coos. His chest rumbles with the softly spoken word as his fingers rise to your hair. The tips of them massage gently at your scalp. “It’s okay, babe. I promise. I don’t think you’re a baby for being scared of storms, okay?”

“You don’t?” you murmur with a soft pout scrunching your features.

“No way,” he scoffs, the answer obvious to him. “I mean, it’s actually a pretty normal thing to be scared about, babe.”

Your heart stops for a moment — just a blink of a second that makes you feel like you can’t breathe. Your fears have never been validated before now. You were never taken seriously, only punished. They called you weak for letting something so insignificant have so much control over you.

It made it almost impossible for you to take yourself and your problems seriously. You eventually ended up punishing yourself for them — just like your parents did. All those words they spat at you turned into thoughts that lingered like dark shadows in the back of your head.

Steve’s turning all that into sunlight, and he doesn’t even know it.

Your chin brushes against the fabric of his shirt when you turn to look at him. You’ve got a slight furrow to your brows that he meets with a lopsided smile. The boy sits propped up against your pillows, his hair wild and his eyes soft.

“You think so?” you murmur.

“Oh. Totally,” he snorts in a laugh. He tilts his head to his shoulder as his brows shoot up. “I mean, it’s more normal than having a deathly fear of quicksand.”

Your brows pinch further. The frown between them deepens when your face contorts in confusion. “Are you implying you’re scared of quicksand?” you mutter with a curious inflection.

His eyes widen at your lack of understanding. “Babe. There is nothing more terrifying than drowning in the ground, okay? And, like, once you’re in it, there’s no getting out! You’re totally stuck!”

You purse your lips to hide the wide smile threatening to take over. Your giggle gets trapped in your throat.

Steve keeps on rambling — one hand cradling the back of your head as the other flails wildly in explanation. “Sometimes, I’ll have these nightmares where I’m, like, getting home from work or something, and I step out of my car, and I’m like, ‘who the hell replaced my driveway with quicksand?’”

Your previously concealed laugh sputters from your mouth like rays of sunshine.

“Don’t laugh!” Steve chuckles, feigning offense, though his soft touch on you never wavers. “I’m being serious!”

“I know you are,” you hum affectionately. “That’s why it’s so funny.”

“Rude,” he grouses with a playful pout. The corners of his pretty pink lips turn downwards, and his bushy brows pinch softly together. Despite his dreadfully sculpted features, he’s still so soft — like a puppy or melted ice cream. You can’t help but take awe in him.

You rise from where you lay against his chest, shifting against your mattress until your face is level with his. The two of you share a single pillow despite its impracticality — noses inches apart, breaths entwining, eyes crossing at the proximity.

You keep one hand beneath your head as your other rises to his face. The scruff of his jaw tickles your fingers as your thumb brushes the warm apple of his cheek. His honeyed gaze dances between both of yours, sparkling with an adoration you don’t feel deserving of.

“I’m sorry,” you concede with pretty eyes and a gentle smile. “I promise to protect you from any quicksand we happen to stumble upon.”

“And I promise to protect you from all the storms,” he swears with a similar softness that makes you melt.

His eyes turn golden when he smiles at you — the exact color of sunshine. You bask in the flaxen rays, safe and warm. You forget to be scared of the rain.

#published by bug #steve harrington x reader #stranger things x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfiction #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #steve harrington #stranger things #st drabbles #stevie drabble #bug's summer fic fest!

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todoroki-waifu · 11 months

Text

Rei x Reader

Warning: Female reader.

Scenario: Not even an argument could keep Rei away.

Genre: Very light angst, but fluffy ending.

Word Count: 1,343

-------

"You're not sleeping over?" Miri frowns as she sees you putting on your shoes by the front door. "No, sorry, Miri-chan. Not tonight."

"Tomorrow?" "Not tomorrow either. I'm a bit busy, but I can still see you during the afternoon when you're finished with daycare." You squat down to her level as she continues to pout at you. "You haven't sleeped over in forever!" "It's slept. Not sleeped." You corrected before embracing her. "It's only been a few days. Maybe soon I'll sleep over again. Just right now, I have a lot to take care of first, okay?" "Okay." Miri lets out a loud sigh after you let her go and stand to put on your jacket. "Let us know when you get home." Kazuki says before you completely leave the house. "Yeah, I will. I'll see you all later. Good night!" Once you exit through the door, Kazuki tells Miri to get ready for bed. The blonde male then looks to his dark haired roommate, frowning at how glued he was to his game. And it seems like he wasn't really paying much attention to it either based on his lack of wins. "You really should've walked __(y/n) home." "She didn't want me to." Rei answers back. Ever since you and Rei had an argument a few days ago, you two stopped talking. You only interacted just enough to avoid any questions from Miri. Other than that, Rei kept quiet and you and Kazuki did most of the talking. You didn't stop coming over to their place for Miri's sake, but you didn't feel like staying the night. If this fight continued, you were considering slowly coming less. It was painful to be around Rei at the moment. "It's going to be day four of you two being like this. Don't you think you want to talk it out?" Kazuki could feel the tension whenever you both were present. Rei only grunts in response, applying just a bit more pressure on his controller buttons. "I just don't want you regretting anything." Rei ignores Kazuki, trying to focus on the race that he's been trying to win for the last five rounds. ----- As usual, Rei is still up, immersed in his video games. His ears pick up a door being opened followed by heavy footsteps down the hallway and onto a few steps of the staircase. "Hey, Rei. Have you heard from __(y/n), yet?" "No." Rei pauses his game to raise a brow at his friend. "Why?" "I texted in our group chat asking if she got home, but she hasn't answered. I even called her, but her phone is dead." Rei checks his phone for any messages or calls from you. None. "It's been over two hours now. I'm getting worr-" "I'll be back!" Rei quickly abandons his game, running towards the door while grabbing his jacket. His heart starts pounding at all the negative thoughts pouring into his mind. Even if you both were arguing, you typically told someone that you arrived home safely. And your place wasn't far from his so you should have already been home. Rei is zipping through town, searching for a woman with __(e/c) eyes and __(h/c) hair. Not normally his style, but he then resorts to yelling your name. He tries your number again and immediately is transferred to your voicemail. He had hoped to hear your voice, even if you probably wouldn't sound too happy to see him calling. Finally, he spots you exiting a tavern, adjusting the bag on your shoulder. Suddenly, he sees a tall male in black standing in front of you, blocking his view. The man looks horrifyingly familiar. He's reminded of Ogino, a terrifying killer from the organization. And he's right in front of you. Rei wastes no seconds, dashing towards the broad man and looping an arm over his neck. "Run, __(y/n)!" "R-rei!?" You're surprised by his abrupt appearance. You didn't see or hear him at all! You see your boyfriend choke holding the man in front of you and you quickly pull at Rei's arm to loosen the grip. "Stop! Stop! What are you doing?" "He's going to kill you! Run! I'll catch up!" "Wh-what? No! He was just asking directions! Let him go!" You knew of Rei's occupation so you understood his paranoia, but you also knew that this older male was innocent. Rei glances at his victim and his eyes widen at an unfamiliar person. He may be tall like Ogino, but his facial features did not match. At all. You apologize immediately to the older gentleman, forcing Rei to bow with you. It was hard trying to explain Rei's behavior, but you two got lucky that the stranger didn't press charges nor did he ask any further questions. "Rei, what the hell was-" Your sentence gets swallowed by Rei's lips, his hands gently cradling your face. He doesn't breathe, only deepening the kiss further. All frightening thoughts of potentially losing you and his regrets slowly dissipate. When he sees your confused yet angry face, he still makes a move to hug you. He knows you're upset at him and he doesn't care if you yell or push him away, he just needs to feel you. Rei leans down to rest his chin on your shoulder, arms coiled tightly around you. "What is going-" Again he cuts you off. "I'm sorry." Kazuki was right. Rei felt stupid to let an argument get in the way of the time that you could have spent with each other. He wouldn't know what he'd do if his nightmare came true. "I'm sorry." He says again and your eyes continue to widen. You weren't expecting your night to turn out like this. The sincerity and the shakiness of his voice leaves you a little less angry and compelled your arms to return the embrace. "I'm sorry, too." You knew you both were wrong for the bickering and needed to open the communication lines. Your hearts yearned for one another. "You don't need to apolo-" Now it was your turn to not let him finish. "Yes, of course I do. We both said some things that weren't nice and I'm not letting you be the only one apologizing." That's what he loves about you. You were so reasonable, patient, and understanding with him. A person who didn't understand much emotions or how to approach them. "So, what was choking that poor old man about?" You both give each other a little space. "You didn't say that you were home and when we called, your phone was dead. I thought something had happened." You looked through your bag and found that your cell was out of battery. "Oh. I had no idea. I wasn't ready to go home yet so I stopped by this place to grab a drink. I'm sorry for worrying you." You felt better knowing that Rei still cared about you even if you weren't speaking to each other. You were glad he wasn't that stubborn. "It's okay. Not your fault. Just glad you're safe." The hitman fills the space between your fingers with his, lifting your hand high enough for his lips to touch. "Let me walk you home." "And spend the night with me? If you're okay with that." You didn't want to force him into something he wasn't ready. You both just apologized so you weren't sure if he was still trying to work out his feelings. You two rarely get into altercations. "Re-really?" His face looked like you just gave him the new Morio Kart game. He was just too cute. “Of course. Just because we weren't talking didn't mean I didn't miss you." "I missed you, too. The bathtub is cold without you." "Well, my bathtub isn't big enough for us to sleep in, but I still got my bed." "Perfect. I don't care as long as we're together...and talking again." "And cuddling?" You laugh lightly, leading him to the street where you lived. "That's a must."

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daegudrama · 11 months

Text

Daegudrama’s Spicy Festa Special D-1

Title: Lucky Night

Pairing: Reader/Min Yoongi

Summary: Reader gets a very special night with Min Yoongi after a BTS concert where they learn more than they could ever dream of.

Word Count: 3753 words

Being escorted into Min Yoongi’s hotel room was the last thing you possibly thought would happen when you woke up this morning. Of course, you’ve let yourself imagine it might happen even if you knew it was a completely delusional thought. The security guard caught up to you as you were trying to leave your floor seat and you were terrified you’d done something wrong. What other reason would they have to be coming up to you randomly.

In reality they told you one of the members wanted to see you and one of BTS’ staff members drove you straight to their hotel. Maybe your instincts weren’t working correctly because that sounds so incredibly shady, but now you are here standing in front of his door. He opens the door with a shy smile stepping back to let you in before shutting the door.

“Hi.” You say meekly not believing that the man you’ve idolized for the last nine years is standing in front of you.

Yoongi has removed his makeup and seems quite relaxed despite the fact that he’s just invited a super fan into his hotel. You suppose he doesn’t have that much to worry about considering you signed a thick stack of paperwork on the ride here. A stack of paper that could ruin your entire life if you let anything that happens here get out.

He seems a lot taller standing right in front of you then he did on stage or in videos. Yoongi’s hair is wet and pushed off his forehead like he might have just gotten out of the shower. He’s wearing a black shirt with navy blue cotton shorts. Overall he seems very comfortable when you are holding in a scream.

“So glad to finally meet you.” He says, leading you towards a sofa a few feet away from the bed. He sits on the couch motioning for you to join him. When you don’t respond, with a confused look on your face, he continues. “I’ve seen a lot of your tweets.”

Your eyes widen as your face heats up thinking of all the not so suitable for work things you’ve said on your account. You sit on the edge of the couch crossing your ankles. How many tweets has he seen? And which ones? Which selfies did he see that made him recognize you in the crowd? He obviously wasn’t bothered if he still wanted to meet you despite what you’ve said about his hands. You can’t help but feel like you should apologize.

“I’m so sorry.” You rush to apologize and he laughs showing off his gummy smile that looks a thousand times better in person than it ever has on the screen.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” He puts a finger under your chin guiding your eyes to his. Your heart is racing in your chest wildly. “How could I be mad when someone as pretty as you wants me?”

A choked sound leaves your throat and he backs away like he thinks maybe he said something to upset you. All the girls in the world he could have and he chose you. Part of you doesn’t even care if he’s done this to hundreds of other girls around the world. Tonight he chose you to be by his side.

You come closer to Yoongi on the couch testing how far he’ll let you go. He doesn’t stop you even when your body is pressed against his side. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls your face closer with his other hand. With his face mere inches from yours he pauses looking from your eyes to your lips several times. You take the plunge, closing the distance and kissing your bias.

There is an eruption in your stomach like you’ve never felt before. It’s like butterflies you’ve had before intensified by a thousand. Yoongi’s lips are silky soft against yours and he tastes like mint. The man kissing you shifts his body reaching for your thigh and pulling it so you are straddling him. You gasp but happily oblige while you continue to kiss him, tongue slipping into his mouth. He rests his hands on the strip of bare skin between the top of your skirt and the bottom of your tank top. Yoongi pulls away from the kiss with your lip between his teeth and a soft moan falls from your mouth.

You try to hide embarrassed that you just made that sound from just kissing him. Yoongi has other plans and flips you onto your back on the couch. He hovers over you with half lidded eyes and his chain swinging in your face. You don’t think you’ve seen anything sexier in your whole life.

“Don’t be embarrassed, YN.” He leans in to kiss your exposed collarbone. “You obviously know what you want.”

He sucks harshly at your collarbone leaving a purple mark just above your ‘moonchild’ tattoo almost like he’s claiming his territory. He moves further down the couch leaving a trail of kisses. Yoongi spends a minute kissing your thighs sending a shiver up your spine. With his hand on the edge of your pleated black skirt he pauses.

“Please.” Is all you can muster without your voice cracking.

It’s at that moment you remember the joke you made with your twitter mutuals, but it’s already too late.Your heart drops to your stomach and you want to run away. He’s already seen your panties and a smirk forms on his lips. You cover your face wishing you could disappear. This is not a funny joke. There was no world in which you thought this could ever happen or you would’ve worn something sexy.

“Should I call Hobi?” Yoongi asks, examining the Mang printed on the front of your purple thong. He touches the fabric with his index finger like he wants to make sure it's real. You think you might explode just from that light touch alone. You feel like some kind of virgin again. “Do we sell these?”

“I made them myself as a joke.” You say your voice is muffled by your hands. “I never thought anyone would see them. Especially not you.”

He pushes your skirt up before placing a light hand on your wrist to pull your hands away from your face. There is a genuine smile on his face that is usually reserved for his members. He locks eyes with you while he hooks his fingers under the waistband of your panties and slowly slides them off. A soft groan falls from his lips as he looks at your pussy already wet in anticipation. He tucks your panties into the pocket of his shorts before dipping his head down to lick your cunt.

You gasp not believing that this is really happening. Reading about this a thousand times has not prepared you for how good his tongue feels swirling around your folds. Quiet noises that you can’t control are leaving your lips. He is slow, seemingly enjoying himself. He lifts you sliding his hands under you to grasp your ass cheeks with his strong hands. Yoongi pushes his tongue into a point bringing a new sensation. You grab his long hair when he puts his tongue inside you. He removes his right hand from underneath and quickly replaces his tongue with a long skilled finger.

“You sound so pretty.” He says curling his finger inside of you drawing another gasp from your mouth.

He adds another finger stretching you as he fucks his fingers into you. He sucks your clit into his mouth drawing patterns with his tongue until you can hardly stand another moment of it.

“Yoongi, can I please suck your cock?”

He sits up pulling his fingers out and spreading his legs. Yoongi looks around for a moment before getting up and retrieving a pillow from the bed. On the way over he loses his clothes and your jaw drops when his shirt hits the floor. You sit up eyeing him as he walks back towards you. Somehow in all the times you’ve imagined your bias naked, you’ve never been able to capture the full beauty of the sight before you.

Your eyes are immediately drawn to the small 7 tattoo right over his heart. You knew your prediction was right and you are livid that you can’t tell your mutuals. The funny thing is you could tell them everything that happened and they would probably just tell you to take a trip to the Boraward.

Secondly, your eyes trail to his already hard cock. His dick is thicker than you thought it would be, not that you’ve spent that much time thinking about it. Yoongi sits on the couch setting the pillow at his feet before he spreads his legs. Before he can change his mind you take your place on your knees in front of him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to give the vacuum seal double hand twist samsung spin cycle triple decker pecker wrecker gluck gluck glizzy gawk gawk combo–”

Your lips cut off his sentence as they wrap around his length. He gasps as you sink your head further, taking more of his delicious cock into your mouth. You look up at him through your lashes finding that he is staring intently. You use your hand to stroke the rest of him while you focus on the head of his cock. Your tongue swirls around the sensitive head loving that you are the one drawing these eroctic sounds from his mouth. Yoongi strokes the back of your head when you take his cock fully into your mouth. You relax your throat, squeezing his thigh trying to signal him that you want him to move. He experimentally thrusts his hips upwards and you easily take his size. He holds your head steady while he fucks into your throat throwing his head back against the couch.

“Ah, YN you’re taking my cock so well. Such a good girl.”

Heat pools in your stomach hearing the man you look up to most in this world praising you. He fucks your throat for a few more seconds before he pulls your mouth off. He takes your hand pulling you onto his lap and pressing his lips against yours in a heated kiss. You can taste each other when your tongues meet. His hands grab your top pulling it over your head and throwing it to the side. He quickly unhooks your bra with expert speed and takes one of your nipples into his mouth. Yoongi’s hands cup your ass under your skirt kneading the soft skin with his fingertips like a cat.

“Yoongi, will you please fuck me?” You whisper in his ear in your best attempt at a seductive voice.

“Bend over the side.” He says lifting you off of him to help you into the position. You lean over the arm of the couch sticking your ass out for easy access. He gasps when he sees your bare ass and you hold in a chuckle. “Is that my name tattooed on your ass?”

“See you don’t need to call Hobi. I’m yours.”

Two years ago after you lost a bet with three twitter mutuals and got ‘Yoongi’ tattooed on your ass in a pretty cursive font. Maybe you should be mortified but it seems like he’s into it from the way he hasn’t yet backed away. Quite the opposite actually. He leans down to kiss the tattoo before sliding two fingers into your cunt. Yoongi is making sure you are ready for his cock. When he pulls his hand away he leans backwards to retrieve a condom from the small table next to the couch. He rolls the condom on while squeezing your ass one more time.

“All mine.” He whispers as he lines his cock up with your wet pussy.

He glides in easily with a curse leaving his lips when he is completely inside you. Yoongi pulls out then thrusts back inside of you with a sharp snap of his hips. You brace yourself against the arm of the couch preparing for more. His cock is stretching your walls just the right amount like he was meant to fuck you. He repeats his previous motion several times making you gasp each time.

How is he actually good at everything? How can one man be so absolutely perfect and desirable? Yoongi pulls your head back by your hair pulling a high pitched moan from your lips. He finds a rhythm and you can hear how wet you are as he continuously pushes himself in and out of you. Yoongi’s other hand finds your breast playing with your sensitive nipple.

He is grunting your name as he thrusts inside of your tight cunt. You think he must be close when he suddenly pulls out and sits back on the couch stroking his cock. Yoongi looks at you waiting for you to make the next decision. You decide to straddle him letting his cock slip back inside you without using your hands. He groans, gripping your hips tightly as his head falls backwards.

You roll your hips relishing in the whiny sound that leaves Yoongi’s lips. He looks so pretty being pleased by your pussy. His lips are parted and his brow is creased. You lean forward capturing Yoongi’s lips with yours. If you have the chance to kiss the Min Yoongi, you shouldn’t waste it. His tongue explores your mouth as you rock your hips on his cock. He moans into your mouth before pulling away and kissing your collarbone. Yoongi sucks leaving yet another mark on your neck.

Yoongi takes charge helping you bounce on his thick cock. His hands are firmly placed on your ass. You have never felt this close from just being fucked and you hope the unintelligible sounds coming from your mouth are telling him that. Even the air around Yoongi is sexy, making this experience one hundred times more enjoyable.

He flips you onto your back somehow without falling over. You are shocked by how smooth he’s able to be. Yoongi never leaves contact with your body continuing to fuck himself into you the moment you are on your back. His long fingers find your clit as he thrusts harder into your needy cunt.

“Yoongi I’m going to cum.”

His eyes lock with yours as he continues at the pace he was going hitting just the right spot inside of you. The combination of his fingers and cock working together send you over the edge screaming his name. Your legs are shaking as Yoongi chases his own high, grasping your hands for support. His fingers are calloused from playing guitar but you still love the feeling of his hand in yours.

“You’re so perfect, YN.” Yoongi says kissing your jaw. “You took me so well.”

It takes a moment before he pulls out and heads to the bathroom. He comes back lying on the bed behind you. Yoongi opens his arms motioning for you to join him. On shaking legs you get up and curl your head against his chest. For several minutes you remain in that position. Yoongi strokes your hair while your hand rests on his waist.

“Can I take a picture of you?” He asks and you raise your head to look into his soft eyes.

“Why would you want a picture of me?”

Despite what you just did it seems weird that he’d want a photo of you. Is this some kind of collection for him? Does he take photos of all the girls he sleeps with? Is he actually some kind of pervert? You hate that even after thinking that you still want him to have whatever he wants. The thought of him looking at your photo months from now makes your heart soar.

“How else will I remember your beautiful face?”

You cover your face that you know has turned scarlet. He pulls your hands away after retrieving a polaroid camera from the bedside drawer. Yoongi doesn’t take the picture yet, waiting for you to consent.

“Take my picture, but you have to answer my question.”

Yoongi straddles you, getting just your face and collarbones in the photo and happily snaps the picture. The flash leaves you blinking for a few seconds while Yoongi goes back to his spot beside you.

“What’s the burning question?” He asks not seeming too worried about what you could possibly be wondering.

“How many of those photos do you have?” He raises his eyebrows at your words like that is the farthest thing from what he expected you to ask. “I’m sure I’m not the only person who has ever been called to your hotel room.”

Yoongi thinks for a moment his tongue poking out to lick at the corners of his mouth. It's almost as if you can hear the gears turning in his head as he decides if he wants to be honest or not. He takes a deep breath in then releases it before he speaks.

“Usually, I lie when people ask, but I’m so tired of lying. You make 63 and maybe this isn’t the healthiest coping mechanism but it's better than other things I could be doing.”

You are truly impressed that you are able to keep your face neutral when he says that. Where does he find the time for that? Does he only take photos of the fans he sleeps with or everyone? At the end of the day this is none of your business but he said he’s tired of lying. If he wants to give you answers you will surely keep them locked inside your head for the rest of your life.

“Some fans are really convinced Jimin would be the one to do something like this.”

Yoongi chuckles, reaching out to play with your fingers not catching your eye as you study his face. You briefly wonder what he thinks of the Takashi Murakami Flowers painted on your nails. You do look like a Hobi bias today.

“The younger ones did a lot of this in the beginning, but not so much anymore.” He keeps his voice low. “I do this a lot less often now than I used to. When I saw you were coming to the show tonight I knew I had to try. From what I’ve seen on twitter you are so charming and interesting. I just had to know if it was all true.”

This can’t be real. You must have shifted to some alternate reality. How is Min Yoongi saying these things to you? This must be a cruel dream you are going to wake up from any second. It takes you a moment to find your composure enough to speak.

“Did I live up to your expectations, Yoongi?”

“You far exceeded them, beautiful.” He pulls you closer, still nude, until your head is rested against his shoulder.

He asks you about yourself while he pets your hair. You tell him about how you got into BTS’ and when he isn’t satisfied with that answer you tell him about how you grew up. He tells you things you have never heard in interviews before. Part of you wonders if he does this with everyone too. The connection feels so real, but could it just be your brain making it up?

You fall asleep wrapped in his arms feeling safer than you have in a long time. He didn’t just pleasure your body but your soul too. You wonder if in another life you could have been friends. If he wasn’t an international superstar and you weren’t his fan.

Yoongi isn’t beside you when you wake up. You sit up listening to see if maybe he went to the restroom, but the room is silent. Your heart sinks, but of course he wouldn’t still be here when you woke up. You stand up looking for your tank top and panties but only find the former. There is a piece of hotel stationary taped to the TV. Yoongi’s familiar scrawl is covering the paper.

‘YN, I’m sorry you woke up to an empty bed but I had a last minute schedule. I really enjoyed the night I spent with you. I hope you have a safe flight home and know that I’ll be thinking about you.--Yoongi’

Your eyes fly to the clock when you read the word flight. There is only an hour until your flight leaves. After ripping the note from the TV you tear apart his luggage looking for your panties. They are nowhere to be found so you steal a pair of his boxers. You quickly pull them on and retrieve your phone before rushing out of the room.

“Hello, YN.” A Hybe staff member says. “There is a cab waiting for you downstairs. We collected your things from your hotel room and they are in the cab.”

“Thank you so much.”

You don’t even want to know how they got into your hotel room. The thought of it being someone’s job to collect the things of Yoongi’s hookups is making you giggle as you get in the cab. Surprisingly, you don’t feel used. Sure, you were one of many but it was one of the best nights you’ve ever had in your life. You learned so much more about the man you idolize. There was a much deeper level of connection that goes beyond the amazing sex you had.

The gate agent is calling the final boarding call when you finally make it to the airport. This weekend has felt like an actual dream and the sadness that it's over suddenly hit you when you are seated on the plane. A few tears slide down your cheeks before you contain yourself.

By the time you get home you are starting to believe you dreamed the whole scenario. There is no way Yoongi told you about the fights he used to get into with his brother or how he twisted his ankle trying to impress a boy when he was 12.

You flop onto your bed ready to fall asleep when an unknown number makes your phone ring. Under normal circumstances you wouldn’t answer the call but something is telling you need to.

“Hello?”

“Hello, beautiful.” The unmistakable voice of Min Yoongi says on the side. Your heart skips a beat. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t say goodbye. Guess that means I need to see you again.”

#bts fanfic #min yoongi #min yoongi smut #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi x yn #lucky night #reader got the NDA RAAAAAH #this started from a very stupid idea of reader wearing mang undies #fanfiction #daegudrama’s spicy festa special

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steddiealltheway · 1 year

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Part Four of Not-So-Secret Secret Admirer!!!! Part One. Part Three. AO3 Link.

Eddie stares at the note and resists the urge to crumple it up. It’s been three days since he’s gotten it and somehow it remains as the only thing on his mind. Every time he reads it, it makes his heart race even though there really isn’t much to it. But just seeing Steve’s signed name makes him feel... giddy.

He’s struggling to find a way to distance himself from the elusive E.R. while trying to keep the identity similar to himself so he doesn’t screw up on a fact check in the future. So, he needs to come up with something vague that doesn’t give himself away. Easy.

It is not easy. Things that make Eddie smile are his sweetheart, metal music, DnD, and Steve... plus all his other friends. Maybe he could mention his sweetheart. E.R. could play the guitar, right? I mean, he is E.R. so of course they do. Gosh, this stuff makes his head swim.

He looks at the note again. Something that makes him smile... does he give him something as a gift? A guitar pick? Eddie fiddles with his necklace and looks down. Definitely not a guitar pick – too obvious.

He needs to clear his head or something. He shrugs on his leather jacket and leaves his uncle a note saying he’ll be back in a bit. Hopefully he’ll get back when he’s still napping so he won’t try to pry about why he left. Yeah, Eddie definitely needs some air.

He grabs his car keys on the way out and quickly is driving off. He doesn’t know where he’s going until he finds himself turning into a somewhat hidden backroad and knows exactly where he’s automatically driving to. A few minutes later he’s climbing out of his van and walking towards the top of a grassy hill to sit down and look out at the hills of trees.

He takes a deep breath and smiles. He forgets how nice it is to sit up here and hear how quiet it can get. Somehow the silence isn’t overbearing and tense – it's soothing. For once, Eddie feels like his head isn’t absolutely racing with thoughts. It would be nice to have someone up here with him though.

Something that makes him smile...

Eddie laughs softly then again loud enough to startle a bird out of the tree near him. He knows exactly what he’s going to do.

-:-:-:-:-:-

On his way to the Family Video, Eddie picks up the rest of The Party who insisted he needed to drive them so they could pick up a tape for their movie night. But then El and Max are giggling and whispering about something that makes Eddie a bit suspicious.

“Hey, Red, what’s going on?”

He looks in the rearview mirror only to find Max staring back with a smirk. That’s a terrifying sight. “We’re wondering what you got for Steve.”

“I told you that that’s a secret!” Dustin shrieks out.

“A secret to keep from Steve,” El argues back. She definitely has been spending time with Max who high fives her. “So, what did you get him?” El asks with a big grin.

Eddie sighs. “I didn’t get him anything this time.”

It’s as if he told everyone in the car that he’s going to try to open another gate to the upside down by the way they’re all yelling at him. “Jesus H. Christ!” Eddie yells. “I’m taking him somewhere that his secret admirer – that apparently everyone knows about – wants to take him.”

“So, where you want to take him,” Max presses, and Eddie catches Lucas covering a laugh behind his hand when they get to a red light.

Eddie fixes him with a look and says, “Do you want to be the one who breaks it to Steve that his secret admirer doesn’t exist?” He cringes and turns to find the light has turned green. He takes off as a silence settles over the car. “Let’s just... let this little admirer thing die off once he actually meets some girl.”

“What if he starts turning down girls because he’s hoping this thing works out?” Will cuts into the conversation with some logic that Eddie was not prepared to think about.

“Then I’ll develop a person that Steve would never fall for.” So, he will make E.R. entirely like himself. He pulls into the parking lot and gets out of the van before any of them can argue with him.

Luckily, the teens dedicate their time to finding a movie instead of harassing Eddie about Steve. He takes the break to slip Steve a note from E.R. which Eddie tries not to cringe at as he rereads it upside down.

Steve,

I’m glad to hear that I make you smile because it’s my favorite smile in any world. One thing about me is that my brain never stops running, but there’s a place I go to that makes it all stop – and it makes me smile.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do,

Eddie’s eyes widen as they get to the signature. How did he forget to finish it? He read it over at least a hundred times, but somehow, he didn’t catch it? He looks up at Steve and tries to smooth out his features but finds himself smiling as Steve gestures excitedly to the letter, the silver of the ring Eddie gave him glinting in the light. Eddie’s heart flutters as he realizes he kept it.

“E! I can now eliminate anyone with a double first name like ‘Emma Rose’ or ‘Evan Ray,’” Steve says excitedly. And Eddie’s heart stutters.

Evan Ray... Steve is no longer eliminating guys from his mind.

“You okay?”

Eddie blinks a few times and runs a hand over his face. “Yeah, man. Just... zoned out for a second there.” Steve nods with a soft smile and looks back at the note. Eddie tries not to sigh in relief.

“So,” Steve says awkwardly, running a hand through his hair, “Not to sound greedy or anything, but no gift today?”

Eddie nearly facepalms. He needs to get a grip. Instead, he smiles and asks, “Are you doing anything after your shift?”

Steve shakes his head.

“Prepare, Harrington,” Eddie says with a wink then glances over to the kids who are all staring at him. “Jesus,” Eddie mutters.

Before he can tell them to stop staring, Steve says, “Are you guys getting a tape or just standing around to stare at Eddie.”

“You’re the only one who’s staring,” Max says with a smirk then rushes off with a giggling El to the romance section which has all the boys groaning.

Eddie turns back to Steve and finds him to be a little red. “Careful, you’ll make this E person jealous.”

“Maybe they should be,” Steve says looking a bit too serious for Eddie’s heart to handle.

“Got one!” Dustin yells as he breaks the moment and slams a tape down that causes Steve to go into a lecture about the way he treats the tapes in the shop.

By the end of the rant, the other kids are already dragging Eddie out the door to give them a ride to the Seven Eleven for snacks. Eddie glances over his shoulder and gives Steve a parting help me look. Steve just winks in response which makes Eddie trip over his feet earning him a knowing look from Max. He sighs and prepares himself for the rest of this car ride.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Eddie stares at himself in the rearview as he waits for Steve to end his shift. It’s not a date. It’s not a date. It really isn’t. He’s just taking Steve to his favorite spot – no, E.R.’s favorite spot. Maybe he didn’t think this through. He probably has enough time to get a random gift from the gas station or something.

There’s a knock on the window. Too late.

Eddie reaches over and opens the door for Steve and does his best to act natural. “Hey, man, how’s it hanging?”

Steve turns and gives him a look. Okay, maybe Eddie doesn’t know how to act natural. “Fine?” Steve replies as he tugs his seatbelt on. “Where are we going?”

Right. “Somewhere incredible,” Eddie says with a wide smile then rapidly corrects himself. “Somewhere that your secret admirer showed me.” Which he needs to go to now if he wants to make it in time. He drives off and cranks up his music to calm his nerves and not give Steve a chance to ask him about E.

Gosh, this is such a bad idea.

Eventually, Steve is relaxing into the music and even nodding his head in what Eddie would call a minuscule headbang, but he tries really hard not to think about how attractive he finds it. Soon enough, they’re pulling into Eddie’s favorite spot. Eddie curses under his breath as the sun begins to blind him.

Steve glances over at him and gives him an indecipherable look. Eddie’s eyebrows furrow. “What?”

Steve shakes his head in response and climbs out. Eddie takes a deep breath and reaches behind him to grab two large blankets and pillows. It’s a bit of a struggle getting out of the van, but Steve appears in front of him to grab the pillows out of his hand. He glances at Eddie and gives him a questioning look.

“Follow me,” Eddie says and makes the short trek up the hill and towards his favorite tree where he lays the first blanket out. Luckily it hasn’t rained recently so the ground was fairly dry. He sits down and pats the spot next to him. Steve sits close enough that their arms and legs are pressed together, and Eddie couldn’t shift closer if he wanted to.

But then Steve is shifting forward and leaning away to push a pillow behind him which means their arms are no longer touching. It’s as if Steve can read Eddie’s thoughts because then he shoves a pillow at Eddie for him to use. As Eddie adjusts the pillow Steve comments, “It’s kind of chilly out.”

And what else can Eddie do but drape the blanket over them and huddle closer to Steve – although he’s kind of sweating with how humid it is outside. Steve hums and leans against Eddie and stares out at the view. “I see what they mean about the view,” Steve says.

“Peaceful,” Eddie replies. His heart is racing as the sun begins to set. He turns to Steve and stares at him instead. “Most beautiful view I’ve seen in a long time,” Eddie says without thinking.

Steve turns to Eddie and his eyes widen as he registers what he means. “Yeah?” Steve asks with a big smile.

“That- That’s what they told me to tell you,” Eddie stutters out. Smooth Eddie. Real smooth.

Steve smile slightly falters but then he’s asking, “Can you tell me one thing about them?”

Eddie swallows and looks away. Can he? Before he can answer, Steve continues, “Are they anything like you?”

Eddie takes a deep breath and turns to Steve. “Just like me.”

“I’ll definitely like them then.”

Eddie stares at Steve who quickly looks away. What in the world does that mean? What the-

“Hey, Eddie?”

“Hmm?”

“Tell me something that makes you smile.”

Eddie smiles and automatically replies, “You.” Jesus H. Christ what is wrong with him tonight?

There’s a shift next to him and suddenly Steve’s hand is tracing down his arm under the blanket and latching onto his hand – the metal of their rings brush together. “Thank you,” Steve replies and leans his head against the crook of Eddie’s neck.

Eddie squeezes his hand in response and tilts his head to rest it on top of Steve’s, not trusting himself to answer. He’s in so deep now, and he has no idea how to feel. He knows that Steve is just projecting his romantic feelings for E.R. onto him since they aren’t there, but he is E.R.. Is there a possibility that all this could be real? And if so, would Eddie want that knowing he deceived Steve in the first place.

His heart races as him and Steve continue to watch the sunset in comfortable silence. But Eddie’s head continues to race in the one place it usually doesn’t, so much so that when the sun is finally down, Eddie is whispering. “Steve, I need to tell you. And I’m sorry that it took me so long, but... I’m E.R.. Eddie Robin to be exact. And at first, I thought nothing of it, but as time has gone on I think it’s made me realize I have these feelings for you. Really deep feelings, and I’m sorry that I had to deceive you in order to get here. But here I am. And I’m sorry. But I really do like you. So much, Steve. So much.” He holds him breath and waits for a response.

But there is no answer. So Eddie leans his head back up and glances down to see what Steve’s thinking because there’s no hiding it on his face. But then he notices it. The steady rise and fall of his chest, the lax grip on his hand, the soft snores that are unbearably endearing.

Steve hasn’t heard a single word.

Eddie sighs and gives him a soft kiss on the forehead. It was probably for the best then. He waits a few moments before he slowly shakes Steve awake – not wanting him to think he had been watching him sleep. Steve groans and cracks an eye open at him then he smiles. “Five more minutes?”

Eddie smiles softly and says, “How about we get you home?”

Steve’s arms come up to wrap around Eddie’s torso and bury his head into his chest. “Wanna stay here forever.”

Eddie’s heart thuds. He knows now that he can never tell Steve about this secret admirer stuff because he can’t stand the thought of losing this. Maybe with time he’ll forget about them, and maybe in time Eddie with have the guts to admit his feelings for Steve. For now, he wraps his arms around Steve and helps him up and back to his van.

The drive back is quiet as Steve begins to doze off again. It isn’t late, but Eddie knows that getting Steve to fall asleep can sometimes be a miracle – he holds the world on his shoulder too often.

Eddie helps a half-asleep Steve into his empty house and leaves a note on his bedside table telling him that it was Eddie who got him back safely, and he’s happy to fill in any gaps. He signs it and drives back to his own trailer. He has no idea what to do, but he knows he needs Robin’s help. For now, he needs to figure out how detrimental it is if E.R. doesn’t give Steve something after five days.

Part five

Hello!! I swear I haven't forgotten about this. I've just been busy ahhhh. Sorry tag list for the delay:

@wrenisflying @gobbledy-gluk-gluk @swimmingbirdrunningrock @ghostlyjax @wheatnoodle @yet-still-more-banched @moonshadows-13 @princessstevemunson @adankrivervalleynearyou @manda-panda-monium @brassreign @bornonthesavage @unclewaynemunson @bird-with-pencils @themardlonk @fangirltofangod @csinnamon-fox @mightbeasleep @theysherobinbuckley

@writtenbyancientskeletonhats @nagitoeatsnillacharms73 @duckyreads @hellykelly @glittergluekintsugi @rainydays35 @thatonespacek1d @frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe @paperbackribs @anaibis @adaydreamaway08 @steviesbicrisis @madaboutmunson2 @goose-on-the-loose @dangdirtydemons @whimsicalwitchm @aftermidnightwriting @toasted-ghosty @queerbeansworld @aryakanojiaa @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @queerriotgrrrl @iwouldsail @hellomynameismoo @r0semaryyy @hopefulcookieoperatorpersona @pomegranatebb @piningapple @love-kurdt @wallpaper-inside-my-heart @eddiesbabe95 @isaacisunsure @adankrivervalleynearyou @sleepdeprivedflower @gay-little-bitch @ely-seum @tillystealeaves @yes-im-your-mom @ceaselessly-watching @evix-syne666 @sweetharmonychilde @myhorseis-regularsized @homosexual-having-tea @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @henderdads

@spectrum-spectre @phantypurple @britishmysteries @mad-h-w @marivictal @gamerdano @cutiecusp @staninggaycouples @doctorqueensanatomy @virgil-is-a-cutie @sleepy-time @adankrivervalleynearyou @satan-is-obsessed @novelnovella @lottaweirdnameshere @bidisastersworld @justreadingabooksstuff @me-1-2 @shinekocreator @e-dollly @thelittleclare @ajeff855 @estrellami-1 @haluton @hoffmannwrites

#steddie #steddie fanfic #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie fic #secret admirer #stranger things

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earthtoharlow · 5 months

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Teach Me: Merry & Bright

Series Masterlist

“Careful Daddy!” Jayla’s arms wrapped around Jack’s neck tightly as the snow crunched underneath his boots as he carried her to his car parked in the driveway.

“You think I’m gonna drop you?” Jack teased as he pretended to drop her from his arms, making his daughter squeal. Ariel smiled as she followed closely behind them.

Ariel and Jayla were on their way to the school's annual 2nd grade Christmas play. Surprisingly enough they both were in the play. Ariel as the narrator and Jayla was playing Elf #1. Jack was dropping them off early and would come back closer to the time the play started.

After Jack dropped the girls off at the school the two changed into their costumes, and did one more dress rehearsal with the other students before the crowd arrived.

Jayla had been in plays before but this was the first time she would actually have a speaking role. Ariel couldn’t help but snap photos of Jayla running around with the other students, excitement running through their tiny bodies.

Hours later Jack made his way down the aisle and sat front and center so that Jayla would be able to see him. Jack slid further down in his seat the more people trinkled in.

“Daddy?” He heard a familiar voice quietly call out. Turning around he saw Jayla’s head peeking out from behind the curtain on the side of the stage.

Thankfully not too many people were in his row yet as he excused himself, and quickly hopped on the side of the stage to greet her. Jack almost melted when he saw her in her red Christmas dress, hair pulled up into the perfect bun that he was sure Ariel spent a good amount of time on. He stopped in his tracks though when he noticed her lips start to quiver. “I’m really scared, daddy!”

“Oh Jayla” Jack cooed before pulling her into his chest, rubbing her back as small tears dropped from her eyes. “You’re going to do amazing!”

Jayla pulled back from the hug, eyes still watery. “I’m going to forget my lines!”

“You won’t forget them, you practiced every single day with me and Ariel—“

“…mommy.” She corrected him.

Jack had to hide his smile at the correction. “Exactly, so how could you forget your lines? You’re just nervous and that’s okay. Everyone gets nervous sometimes.”

“Even you?” Jayla questioned. While her dad didn’t perform on stage anymore, her many uncles have shown her videos of him rapping on huge stages.

“Heck yeah! I used to be terrified.”

Jayla snuggled in closer to him. “How did you stop being scared?”

Jack stopped for a moment to think before answering. “Well, I always take a deep breath, and remembered that I worked really hard on my performance. No matter what happens on that stage my friends and family will still love me.”

He could see the wheels turning in her head, thinking over what he said. She still looked nervous though. Jack lightly held on to Jayla’s shoulders and gave her complete eye contact. “Hey, you’re going to do a wonderful job tonight, Jayla Rose Harlow.” As Jack spoke those words, Jayla’s shoulders immediately dropped as she began to relax.

Jayla wrapped her arms around her father in a tight embrace. “Thanks, daddy.” She whispered in his ear.

“Anytime, babygirl! Now go break a leg!” Jayla stopped in her tracks at that phrase.

“Huh?”

Jack couldn’t help but laugh. “It means good luck!”

“Ooooh! Thanks!” Jayla said and blew him one last kiss before running backstage to finish getting ready. When Jack stood back up to feet he noticed Ariel standing a few feet away.

He simply winked at his wife, knowing she had seen the whole exchange and went back to his seat.

Jack eagerly waited for the curtain to draw as the lights dimmed in the auditorium. He started to feel nervous for his daughter, as his leg began to bounce in his seat.

The second grade class were all dressed as Santa’s helpers. The kids were running around on stage chasing Santa and playing pranks on him.

Jack was glad that Urban had volunteered to take photos of the play, he already couldn’t wait to look back on them. So far Jayla hadn’t had any lines, but he could see her getting more and more comfortable the more she was on stage.

He watched on as Jayla and the other Santa helpers swapped Santa’s suit for a smaller size. Laughing along with the crowd as Santa struggled to get the suit on.

Jack began biting his nails nervously knowing Jayla’s part was coming up.

Mrs.Claus slaps Santa’s hand as he reaches for a cookie. “No more cookies until you can fit into that suit!” Santa pouted.

“Maybe you should try eating a carrot, Rudolph loves carrots!” The other helps nodded in agreement

Santa shook his head, “no no! Do I look like a reindeer?”

Jack watched as Jayla tilted her head to the far left and looked at Santa and proceeded to tilt her head to the far right to get another look. “You are kind of round like reindeers body!”

Jayla's smile widened when the theater erupted in laughter. Jack’s smile was twice as big when a parent next to him elbowed him slightly and said “She was born to be on stage.”

The rest of the show flew with Jayla performing her lines perfectly. When the curtains closed, he immediately went backstage to greet Jayla with the other parents.

He stood to the back but still close enough for Jayla to see him. “DADDY!!” He heard her yell, he crouched down to her level to receive the huge hug he knew was coming. Jayla threw herself at him, and Jack held her tight as he scooped her up in his arms.

“Oh my god! Jayla you did amazing!! I’m so proud of you!” Jack said before placing kisses all over her face making her giggle.

“Hold on, are you giving away kisses without me?! Let me in on the action!” Ariel said, coming up behind him and Jayla. Jack handed Jayla off to Ariel so she could have her own time to congratulate their daughter.

Watching them together was starting to make him emotional. He tried to hide it by wiping his eyes but for some reason the tears would stop.

Holidays used to be very tough for both he and Jayla. Even just a couple years ago, Jayla wouldn’t even dare join the school play. He knew the person he could thank for that was Ariel. She’s changed their lives for the better, she was responsible for putting a smile on both his and Jayla’s faces.

“Are you crying, daddy?”

Jack took a deep breath and wiped his face again. “Only happy tears baby, only happy tears.”

***

Sorry this is so late but hope you all enjoyed this! Let me know your thoughts 🫶

tag list

(message me if you'd like to be added or removed)

@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @neon-lights-and-glitter @babiefries @toocriticalharlow @mace23477 @jackmans-poison @dstark-0706 @harlowsbby @itsyagirljaz @leftapricotprofessorlover @comehomeimissyou @minkookie95 @harlowcomehome @jackharloww @jaydaaasworld @kkrenae @hufflewhore128 @w1ldthoughts @vinniehackersbaee @realwifeofjackharlow @halfmoondaze @katiaw2

#jack harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow reader #teach me #harlowdays #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow x oc #jack harlow x black oc

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darkwolf989 · 21 days

Text

Outside The Office Chapter Twenty Five

TW: Reader faces consequences of her self injurious actions.

I tiptoed over the metal pathway that guided people over Vox’s massive shark tanks. Part of me knew it was fully enclosed and totally safe. But the other part of me still feared falling in- the ending for that wouldn’t be pretty. Around me, screens lined the walls leading to his primary office. I stepped into the circular room.Only one chair sat smack in the middle- his.

“Welcome, welcome, reader,” Vox said as he turned his chair around. He clasped his hands together. “So glad you could make it.”

That unsettled feeling rushed through my gut. Vox knew, he had to. Otherwise what was this?

“I have something interesting to show you.” Vox said calmly as he stood up. “Com’here. Take a seat.”

I took a step back and he shook his head. I heard the metal of the door slide shut behind me.

Fuck.

“I mean, you could try to back out ,kid, but then I would have to go straight to Lucifer and Valentino and honestly, what would that get you?” Vox continued in a rather unbothered voice.

He had a point. Hesitantly, I took the proffered seat, half expecting to be strapped down like a horror movie. That didn’t happen, thankfully. Vox hit a button and all the screens but the biggest went black. Data flashed in front of me. Pulse rate. Respiration rate. Blood oxygen Level. Blood pressure. EKG chart. Temperature. Blood glucose level. Hydration level. Weight. A mix of numbers.

“See, what’s interesting about these numbers,” Vox said as his hands pressed heavily against my shoulder. “Is that they’re drastically different from just a few days ago.”

Another screen popped up. Higher numbers in some areas. Lower in the other.

I swallowed as I looked at the vital signs on the two screens. I decided at that moment that playing dumb was my best option.

“So? What am I looking at?” I asked. Even to me, my voice sounded shaky.

Vox had the nerve to chuckle. “Oh, princess, you know exactly what you’re looking at. But if we’re going to play that game, I have another video to show you. Several actually.”

Double fuck.

I watched the flash. One showed myself at the gym that morning, knelt over the garbage can. Another showed me tossing away breakfast. Another of me played quickly as I went through that morning’s routine, going to the gym, coming home, showering, Vox and I in the kitchen, talking. Me, scribbling in my notebook the day before, outlining my plan.

“You know what’s even stranger? I specifically asked you if you had eaten lunch and yet…I can’t find you doing so anywhere in the video. So either my technology is faulty, or you lied to me.” He leaned down closer, “And I promise you, my cameras aren't the issue.”

God fucking damn it.

Vox dropped the notebook into my lap. “Open in. Tell me where any why you think this little plan of yours is a good one. Come on, reader, I want to know.”

His voice was dark. Dangerous. Terrifying. This wasn’t my Vox, this was…Vox as an overlord. I swallowed. “Vox, this is the plan verbatim for new recruits, I used to do it to…”

“I know all that.” He waved his hand dismissively. “That data has been in my harddrive for years, that isn’t what I’m asking. I want to know why YOU thought it was a good idea to put YOURSELF through it, knowing that your powers are growing, knowing there is a difference- especially for you- between what you could do in heaven and hell, and probably most importantly, why you KNEW it was so terrible that you felt the need to hide it and yet, still did it anyway.”

I didn’t think I could feel any smaller. “I wanted to be stronger. I just, I knew you guys hate the way angels do things so I thought I just…”

“Would do it anyway?” He rubbed his forehead in frustration. “Kid, we despise how they act because what’s normal to you is incredibly cruel in actuality. You’re honestly lucky I paid attention because if you let this go longer, Valentino’s anger would be the least of your worries. Look how little it took to fuck up your vitals. A few days of stress induced vomiting and here we are.” His voice softened. “The question is now, how are we going to handle this? Because I won’t let you keep doing this to yourself.”

I looked at him in confusion. “Why are you asking me that? Aren't you just going to tell Valentino and Lucifer and let them handle it?”

He shrugged, “I mean, that’s an option you could choose. But I don’t think it needs to go that far, at least, not right now. So I’ll make a deal with you.”

I hesitated. “What kind of deal?”

He squeezed my shoulders. “The kind that doesn’t harm you. I need a few things if this is going to stay between us. I need you to eat. I need those vitals to improve. And I need to never, ever see you push yourself that hard ever again. You can work out in moderation, and eat healthy but you cannot break yourself time and time again. The next time it happens, I won’t be the only one who knows. Understood?”

I nodded in defeat. The crushing feeling of self loathing settled over me like a cloud of darkness. But another part of me, a very, very small part, was glad that I had been seen.

“Oh, and if your vitals don’t improve the deal is off. Lucifer will know and Valentino will know, and I’ll take you down to the hospital myself. And trust me, you won’t like what they do to you there.” His eye swirled for half a second and then he blinked. His tone lightened and he clasped one hand on my shoulder. “Let’s start with lunch, shall we?”

I glanced back at him in both disbelief and fear. “Wait a second. Let me get this straight- you’re keeping this between us? You’re not tattling on me?”

Vox shrugged. “I see no reason to make this a bigger deal than it needs to be. I sincerely don’t think any long term harm will come to you because I caught you so early. You’re not fighting me on it, you acknowledged the issue. You have to trust someone in here, sweetheart. And for whatever reason, you don’t feel yet that you can trust your boyfriend's reaction. So at the very least, trust mine.” He offered his hand and he pulled me to my feet. “Now come on, let’s get you back on the right track. I know a place that has the most amazing salads. And I have one of my employees building an appropriate, data driven workout plan that should get you where you want to be in a much healthier way.”

As I followed him out the door I wondered if this was what it felt like to have an older brother, or maybe a parent who cared enough to notice when things weren't quite right. And even moreso, who cared enough to listen and call me out on my bullshit when I backtracked. Whereas my father would have been thrilled I pushed myself that hard, Vox clearly wasn’t. But instead of the harsh punishments, he offered a compromise. He offered safety, and trust in a drastically different way than Valentino did.

Lunch alone with Vox further proved my point. True to his word, the restaurant he took me to did have the best salads, and after eating a sufficient amount, he walked me back to the apartment. Before he left, he handed me a thin file- the workout plan he promised.

“No one will be angry you’re trying to get stronger. But no one will stand for you to hurt yourself either,” he warned before embracing me in a hug. “It gets better, kid. You don’t have to be that perfect little angel ever again- you can let that go.”

I didn’t know how to respond.

Alone in the apartment, his words echoing in my mind, there was one lingering thing still bothering me. Valentino. Vox was right, I didn’t feel like I could tell him when this all began. Maybe part of me feared his punishment. No, that wasn’t what I was afraid of. I feared his rejection.

But the Vee’s were close. All it would take was one slip of a video from Vox to Valentino, or one accidental mention and all of this would come spilling out. Would his reaction be worse if he found I kept it from him longer than I already had? I decided I wouldn’t take that chance.

I stepped back into the elevator and hit the button to Valentino’s studio. I needed to do this now, while I had the nerve.

#valentino x reader #valentino x wife #the vees #valentino x you #hazbin fluff #vox x reader #valentino #hazbin hotel #the vees x reader #valentino hazbin hotel #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #vox #hazbin vox #voxval #vees #vox the tv demon #vox hazbin x reader

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stardustluvs · 6 months

Note

hi, me again... I'm sorry but I need Nolan (I fell in love with your writing, please don't be mad at me)

I have one more idea for Nolan.

Let's go..... Nolan is participating in a video and has to win the challenge. But he gets hurt (nothing too bad) after getting hurt he keeps begging them to call his girlfriend, he needs her by his side

kiss it better || n.h.

Word Count:

Pairing: Nolan Hansen x fem!Reader

Summary: What the req says

Warnings: Slight injury(?), Mention of blood (not a lot)

Author’s Note: Changing up how I’m styling the title of my fics slightly! I wrote this instead of sleeping. Also, thank you anon for the request! I appreciate you! Also most of my fics are set in the older style of MrBeast videos as opposed to the newer ones just because I miss when it was his friends competing instead of random people LOL Also I know I haven’t posted a fic in two weeks, shhh…

Requests are open! || masterlist

Everything was going smoothly, he’d spent a lof of time in preparation for this upcoming video, a challenge whereas to win, a sort obstacle course race must be completed. Nolan completely understood the challenge he was faced with, though he may have underestimated the difficulty of it.

Upon looking at the race in person, he could see it would give him a plethora of challenges and problems. It also looked overwhelming, slightly dangerous. Jimmy spent a lot of time already reassuring him and the rest of their friends it would be fine and if God forbid something did happen, they'd be able to safely resolve the issue.

You would've gone to watch Nolan compete, you normally did, except this time you had plans that you needed to get done, having put them off for months now. You could easily expect a few updates from Nolan throughout the day though, he was constantly checking in.

The first part of the course was easy. He just had to not fall and get to the other side. Among him and his friends, everyone was able to make it easily, a few sly remarks from Kris and Karl, but Nolan knew it was all in good fun.

The second part seemed much more terrifying than the first, it looked harder too.

This course was longer, and it consisted of having to run, dodge, and balance at multiple areas.

He didn't get a lot of time to process what he had been looking at when Jimmy called out saying it was time to go.

He started out strong, actually, he was quite far in the lead compared to the rest of the group.

Karl was a close second, calling out to him and making joking banter towards Nolan. That was however, when things started to take a turn for the worst.

Nolan's foot caught against a bit of the course where the ground came up, causing him to trip. At first glance you'd assume he'd have been able to get up and carry on, no big deal. However as he fell, his knee scraped one of the nearby obstacles, sharp enough to break skin, even through the material of his pants.

Immediately he sat up, clutching his knee. He held back curse words and bit down on his lip to try to mask the pain.

Karl saw him first and immediately rushed over towards him.

"Woah- Hey, are you okay?" Karl urged.

Nolan just shook his head, moving his hands to see how bad the cut was. It wasn't so deep he would need immediate medical attention, however it was deep enough to form a nasty cut, and draw a decent amount of blood.

"Jimmy- Hey we need to stop, Nolan's hurt," Karl called over.

Jimmy wasted no time on listening to Karl, putting everything about the video on the back burner. He rushed over to where Nolan was sat on the ground. A few people from around set had rushed over with first aid supplies, being more than prepared for the incident.

"Can someone call Y/N?" Nolan asked to no one in particular. He allowed the people who rushed over to help clean up his knee, wincing a little at the pain from all the movement.

"Yeah- yeah, I'll give Y/N a call," Kris reassured, pulling out her phone and moving quickly to get to her contacts list.

Meanwhile, you had been sat in your car, parked in front of the grocery store. You had been scrolling through your phone momentarily before getting a call from... Kris?

It was odd, and you wondered why she would be calling if she was meant to be filming with everyone right now.

You answered, a little worried and concerned.

"Hello?" You asked as you pressed the phone to your ear.

"Hey, Y/N, can you come to the set right now?"

"Uhm, I'm a little busy, why? Is everything okay?" You asked, concern filling your voice more and more as you wondered what the issue was.

"Nolan's hurt- He's okay, he didn't like break anything or anything like that, but he fell, and his knee's kind of fucked up now," Kris explained, hurrying to tell you that he was okay, knowing you would worry.

"He asked for someone to call you," She added.

"Okay, oh my God, thanks Kris, I'm on my way," You said, ending the call and putting your phone away.

You sighed, knowing that it was probably going to be okay, you reminded yourself that Kris told you Nolan didn’t break anything and was okay except for the fact he got hurt. You were about fifteen minutes out from where the set was, and you could only do so much to get there quickly with all the traffic.

Back at the shoot, a medical team continued to try and get the bleeding to stop. It was slowing down…slowly, and it hurt like hell.

“Did you call Y/N?” He asked Kris when he saw her show back up beside him.

“Yeah, she’s coming,” She replied.

The reassurance that fell over his body at the news you were on your way was visible to anyone who paid attention. It was no secret that he was extremely dependent on you, and that was fine, it wasn’t like you minded him clinging to you any time something happened. It was cute.

When you got there, the first person you saw was Jimmy, who greeted you and was immediately guiding you over to where Nolan was.

It looked…worse than what you imagined in your head, which made you panic slightly, seeing all these medical professionals around your boyfriend. It seemed excessive.

“Hey, you okay?” You asked him, sitting down beside him.

Immediately he pulled you into a hug, wincing slightly when he had to move his leg.

“What happened?” You asked him.

“I fell, cut my knee pretty bad,” He replied.

“We’ll go home as soon as they’re done, okay?”

He was about to object, saying he wanted to continue the video, but before he could, his friends all seemed to agree that was for the best.

You waited with him, allowing him to rest his head against yours while the medical team seemed to finally be finishing up after what felt like ages.

They explained that he may have a bit of a difficulty walking since the cut was pretty nasty, but it should heal up in no time, which you thanked God for.

“Ready?” You asked him, starting to stand up as you reached your hand down to help him up.

He nodded, grabbing your hand. You helped him up the best you could. He inhaled sharply at the slight pressure being put onto his knee.

You allowed him to use you to lean on and help balance, saying goodbye to everyone and getting to your car.

“Thanks for coming so quickly,” He thanked you.

You shook your head, “Why are you thanking me for that?”

“Because I know you were busy today is all,” He said, shrugging a little.

“Never busy if you’re hurt,” You smiled softly, leaning over and kissing him gently.

#kit’s requests #nolan hansen #nolan hansen x reader fluff #mcyt #mcyt x reader #x reader #mrbeast crew #mrbeast crew fluff #mrbeast crew x reader #nolan hansen fluff #nolan hansen x reader

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bigboysteveharrington · 2 years

Text

Steve can handle real life horror because the adrenaline and need to protect everyone else kicks in and he’s so busy focusing on the task at hand that he doesn’t actually process what’s happening until after the situation is over and he has a chance to catch his breath

But horror movies? Those get him. Don’t get me wrong, he still brings his dates to them and pretends not to be affected by the movies and he braces himself when he can feel a jumpscare coming so that he won’t noticeably react because the whole point is to look all strong and tough and get girls moving closer to him for comfort

That strategy did not work on Nancy so well though because he always got more startled than she did. But it wasn’t a total loss because she’d play along when he tried to put on the comforting moves even though she wasn’t particularly frightened and even though honestly, he was calming himself with that more than anything. But at least it was easier to keep up his unafraid act when he had an arm around her to help steady him. He still doesn’t know if she actually believed the act or not though. (She didn’t believe it. Even if he managed not to jump, she still felt the way he’d get all tense when he could tell that something was coming)

When Steve watches horror movies with the kids, he lets himself relax a little and doesn’t hide his reactions quite as much but he still puts on an I wasn’t really scared tough guy act after he’s already blatantly jumped or flinched in reaction. That started with just letting himself react around Henderson after he’d already caught on to the fact that Steve was trying to play tough guy, but it spreads to the other kids too until eventually he gets to the point where Max makes fun of him for getting scared by something everyone saw coming a mile away and he just rolls his eyes instead of getting into a whole argument with her

When he watches horror movies with Robin, they both get scared. There’s a lot of squealing and no, don’t go in there, oh my god what is she doing??? and not the eyes!!! Steve if something goes through that eye I’m leaving and various other things yelled at the screen when they’re watching at home or at Family Video (or hissed under their breaths only for them to get hushed by people around them when they’re in the theatre). Robin’s jumpy and Steve tries to hide the fact that he is too during the start of the first horror movie they watch together, but she starts covering her eyes and then peeking through her fingers and then hiding her face in his shoulder when she sees something she didn’t want to see anyway so he doesn’t find the idea of her finding out that he’s scared so embarrassing anymore. He makes fun of her for being so squeamish for good measure anyway, only to end up grabbing her hand and whiteknuckling his way through a scene a few minutes later and after that point, he doesn’t try hiding anything and leans into the platonic holding onto the other for dear life when things get to be too much for either of them and then mutually pretending nothing happened immediately after

Eddie loves horror movies and rents a lot of them so when he drags Steve along with him when the latest gruesome movie hits theatres, Steve is fully expecting Eddie to be tough so he’s bracing himself to act extra tough because he doesn’t need Eddie laughing at him for reacting. Eddie obnoxiously laughs at the characters when they make stupid decisions and that has Steve thinking he’s going to be terrified while Eddie laughs all movie like they’re watching a comedy. But then while Steve’s putting on his best brave boy act at the scary parts, Eddie is yelping and cursing under his breath and bracing himself against the back of his seat while mumbling nope nope nope nope nope and jumping comedically high at the jumpscares and spilling popcorn all over them both and grabbing onto Steve’s shoulder as hard as he can and then later gripping Steve’s thigh so hard that Steve wonders if he’s going to have bruises in the shape of Eddie’s fingers later and it’s so over the top but it’s his genuine reaction and Steve is so confused about why Eddie keeps intentionally watching horror movies when he’s reacting and clinging to Steve more than any date he ever watched one with had

#It’s not an act out of Eddie… the physical contact is just a bonus #Stranger Things #ST4 #ST #Steve Harrington #Nancy Wheeler #Dustin Henderson #Max Mayfield #Maxine Mayfield #Robin Buckley #Eddie Munson #Platonic Stobin #Stobin #Steve & Robin #Steddie #Stranger Things Headcanons #Mine

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droewyn · 1 year

Text

I DID AN OOPSIE

Okay, so context is important here.

This is Spriggan.

This is Spriggan’s not-so-smol son, Captain Toebeans T. McGillicuddy Wildboi I.

Yes, their names are immaculate. Yes, Cap has thumbs. Also yes, if you look into one ear, you can see clear through to the other side.

Spriggan was a roughly one-year-old adult feral cat when we trapped her in our backyard on Halloween night, 2019. We’d caught Cap about a week prior, and he was about 16 weeks old.

Cap assimilated pretty well for a kitten who was too old to be adoptable. He loves my husband, his mother, and Alisaie beyond life. He likes me okay. He’s terrified of my father-in-law. Very few other humans have ever seen him.

Alisaie isn’t relevant to this story, but here she is anyway. You know that meme that was going around that was like “which cat is the bby and which is the criminal”? Yeah, we got one who can do both.

So, socializing an adult feral cat is hard. I’m not going to go into it here, because I have this handy link where I did go into it. It includes more pictures, and also the most important video in human history.

https://www.tumblr.com/droewyn/710812951143219200/you-guys-you-guys-you-guys-you-guys-you-guys-my

The big takeaway that you need to know is that while Spriggan is part of the family, and likes being part of the family as far as we can tell, she Cannot Be Petted. Also, that our cats look Very Similar In The Dark, particularly Cap and Spriggs. He’s enormous but she’s very floofy, and they both can look solid black if they’re curled up or viewed from the wrong angle.

Here’s the oopsie.

It’s 1AM. I need to use the bathroom. I must pass through the living room to get to the bathroom, and Cap is on the loveseat. I pet him and rub his ears.

I go to the bathroom. I’m in there for like two minutes, max.

I come back out, and reach down to pet Cap again.

IT IS NOT CAPTAIN.

The good news is, I still have all my fingers and all my blood. Spriggan didn’t even hiss; she just teleported across the room and GLARED at me.

She’s still glaring at me today. I am In Trouble.

But this time last year she would have shredded my hand so yay progress.

The Inky Kitty Committee having a rare meeting, feat. the baby looking spooky af.

#original content #cats #spriggan #captain toebeans t mcgillicuddy wildboi i #alisaie #personal stuff #feeling cute might blaze this later

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ornii · 1 year

Note

I have a funny/cute ask for you.

Wednesday somehow managed to fall in love but refuses to compromise any other part of herself. Except one thing: she is the most competitive at the arcade, especially the claw game.

Wednesday Addams does not come in second place.

A Great idea, so here’s: A Game of Life and Death! (Not Really)

Summary: Wednesday likes the crane game, she really likes the crane game.

Wednesday Addams hates a lot of things, Human interaction, Color, Bright things, sometimes you. While you two were obviously dating, she still wasn’t as content with the hugs and kisses you sometimes delivered, still a bit afraid she’s going to bite back. But having a terrifyingly high IQ, you were able to deduce her bluffs which also intrigued her to a certain degree. It all eventually came to a head as a new arcade was opening in Jericho after a few, disasters which included the near death of all students.

Entering the Establishment, like a dark cloud Wednesday was at your side. You two analyzed the room to the machines and games.

“It’s a Nerds Wet dream, isn’t it?” You say with a smile, Wednesday could see how oddly content you were within this place. “I suppose I could understand the appeal for someone of your intellectual feats, yet I still find it abysmal.” She says you casually adjust your glasses a bit higher and motions for her to lead.

“Please, the pleasure is all mine to show you the amazement of video games.” You say and show her around, arranging the clsssic video games, Dig Dug, Contra, PAC MAN. She’s never even seen Pac-Man before. You stand there, rambling on about how Pac-Man revolutionized games and the importance of preserving old games for future generations, and as expected Wednesday just stares into your eyes, she wasn’t very interested in video games or any sort, but she saw the joy in your eyes and as much as she despises joy and such emotion. She couldn’t bear take it from you, but something did catch her eye.

“(Y/n), Mi Amor… what is that?” She asks, and toy Turn your head to see what she’s looking towards and it was a crane game, the crane itself was dressed up like a ravens claw, and the gifts were also very creepy to boot, of course she’d love it. She walks over to it and softly presses her palm again the cold glass, you walk up behind her, seeing both of your reflections.

“It’s a Crane Machine, you use the controls to maneuver the claw to grab the items, standard cash grab game.” You say, “Wanna play?” You say, and show off a large sack of quarters you’ve been saving up, Wednesday scoffs. “Id never subscribe myself Go such mindless drivel.” She says.

An Hour and a Half Later

Wednesdays eyes were glued to the Glass as her hands angrily moved the crane hand around, her jaw clenched as she has spent around 40 bucks worth of quarters. You leaned against the crane watching her obsession slowly burn away her sanity, but as if by the luck of god himself she got one, the crane reaches down and clenches a small black heart plush and lifts it up, Wednesdays watches intently as if drops it down the hatch and to her feet, she takes it, and clenches it hard.

“I.. I did it…” she says, you chuckle and pat her shoulder. Leaning over her shoulder, “Yeah, I’m proud of you Babe. Can I play now?” You ask, Wednesday side steps, as Victory has never tasted so bitterly good for her.

“Of course, I doubt you have the ability to seal the qualms of fate that I have in order to obtain—“ she rambles on, until you insert one quarter, and effortlessly win a plush black bear for her. You hand it to your girlfriend with the most bittersweet smile. She takes it, absolutely speechless.

“Eh? I guess you could say my love for you is Un-bear-able, Eh? Eh?” You say, she looks down at the bear for a few moments but what was probably eons for her, and for the first time in your relationship she looked at you with such terrifying hatred in her eyes. This is the first time you’ve seen her genuinely Mad. She, without much effort tears the bears head off.

“Wednesday?” You ask, your voice shaking a bit as she slowly steps closer and closer to you.

“How? How did you do it?” She says with such scorn in her voice, I’ll vitriolic poison.

“W-what Are you talking about?” You say, slowly backing away as she approaches.

“Your infectious little game, you easily won this bear while I fought tooth and nail inside the gates of hell for this! And you laugh at me?” If words could kill you’d be burned to ash.

“Babe it’s not what you think, I’m just lucky..” you say and end up at the wall of the room, Wednesdays eyes were so devoid of emotion it felt like staring into the void of evil. You were prepared to accept your death, until you felt her palm aggressively grab yours.

“Weds?” You say.

“We, Are going to play, until I get another one.”

“But.. i thought you hated the game.” You respond and she walks with you.

“I refuse to be your lackey, I don’t do Second Place.”

“There’s no leaderboard for a crane game… babe I’m sorry it just comes easy…” you say, but she ignores you, and unfortunately you spend the rest of the day in a Crane game of Life and death. Which you still easily win.

The Day finally ends with you carting around a load of items Wednesday had won, after almost draining your life savings. But for the almost murder that occurred, you didn’t particularly hate it, and you just loved the time you spent with her, as you carry it into the dorm, Enid berates her with Questions and Wednesday answers calmly, but you could see the slightest smile on her face, which made it all with it.

Maybe you’ll bring her back next time, but, avoid the cranes next time.

#netflix #male reader #reader insert #wednesday #wednesday addams x male reader #wednesday addams x reader #wednesday x reader #wedensday x you #wednesday fluff #wednesday addams

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princess-of-the-corner · 26 days

Text

Lost Mineta Fic

Because I’m STILL SALTY ABOUT THIS, is it SO HARD for me to recommend a good fic, do you know how many fics there are of Mineta being a decent person!? It ain’t many!

So, as much as I remember (I swear-)

(TW for sexual harassmen, not sure if it counts, but better safe than sorry)

(Unfortunately this is long so under the read more it goes!)

Fic was called “Sour Grapes Are Hard To Swallow”, or something similar

It’s mostly from Mineta’s pov, and starts shortly after Kamino, when all the kids are moving into the dorms. The fic basically starts with Aizawa and Yagi going to the Minetas to talk about the dorms, and we get our first look at Mineta Sr., who is basically Fanon!Mineta!Grapist. the meeting is tense, with Yagi at one point noting Mineta looks like someone in a hostage situation, but Mineta Sr agrees to move his kid into the dorms. After the teachers leave, We also get a pretty good look at Mineta’s home life, and … yeah, Fanon!Grapist is the best way I can describe him. Mineta Sr is a close-minded, Quirkist, anti-mute Homophobe. He’s the picture of toxic masculinity, and seems to be doing his level best to impart it onto his son, which is actually going pretty badly, and Mineta is conflicted about the fact that he isn’t more conflicted. Like, Mineta is aware he is not what his dad wants in a son (he apparently takes after his absent mother in looks), and he’s starting to wonder if maybe that’s a good thing.

A quick jump here, but part of what I loved about this fic was that it made Mineta an actual CHARACTER, rather than a collection of jokes. Someone with hobbies, and feelings, and aspirations, things that I looked at, then compared to canon, and went, “yeah, I can see that” (which, considering how little they gave us, I’m not sure how impressive that is, but there you go). For instance, Mineta likes art. He’s actually very passionate about it, and is a fairly good artist. One of the things he and Kaminari do while hanging out is play video games - Kaminari playing the game, and Mineta just watching, enjoying the set design And artwork. He and Jirou have the same taste in music, and even swap playlists sometimes. He’s apparently a fairly good tutor for the sciences. He likes animals, especially bunnies, because they always look soft. And most of this wasn’t explicit, it was more “show, don’t tell”. Again, considering how little they gave us, not much, but it was SOMETHING.

Also, Mineta is bisexual, and TERRIFIED his dad will find out.

Like, there’s a scene/flashback of Mineta in middle school getting a crush on a boy, and how badly it went for him when he tried to ask his dad about it (spoiler, it’s how he learns that Pop Off will eventually start bleeding if he pushes it too much). Mineta basically admits to himself that he only acts how he Does, because it’s the only thing his dad ever praised him for - acting more like HIM. As the fic goes on, it becomes about Mineta, now basically out of his dad’s house, not HAVING to act like his dad, and how he deals with it. It also goes into some of Mineta’s thinking, which, while a bit warped, makes a weird amount of sense, and you kind of start to see where he’s coming from.

Like, yes, even in the fic, he ended up groping a few of the girls (and was summarily told off, given detention, and Did not do it again) but there’s a very awkward scene after a few people have learned what his dad is like, that someone points out Mineta made it a point to avoid ever doing any hero exercises with Hagakure. So, apparently, the way it went in Mineta’s mind - groping girls was something his dad was basically expecting of him as “a red blooded male”. He actually talks about the first time he did something like that in middle school (which was an accident he decided to double down on), and when they called his dad, his dad just laughed. When Mineta got home, his dad actually told him he was “proud” of him, in a roundabout way (which, yes, is messed up, that’s the whole point). So Mineta kept doing it, kept getting calls home about it, and it got his dad off his back about other things - like his art. However, Mineta was still aware it was bad, so he tried to make sure it was fairly fast, obvious, and on girls who clearly had no problem knocking him off (even if most of this was subconscious). However, he’s also vaguely aware of social norms, and all of this shit was above the waist, over clothing - Hagakure’s costume is literally boots and gloves. We later find out that Hagakure DID actually have an actual costume, it was mostly a joke saying she didn’t to freak people out, but Mineta didn’t know that. Apparently, he was genuinely concerned he would grab a naked Hagakure somewhere Not Okay, so avoided doing any exercises with her just in case. Keep in mind, it wasn’t that he WANTED to grope her, he was just conditioned to be EXPECTED TO, and the only solution he saw was making sure he never had the chance.

and yes, all of this is SEVERELY MESSED UP, but thats The point. The fic is pointing it out, saying “Wow, this thinking makes a sick kind of sense, but man, isn’t it fucked?”. They even Have Mineta and Bakugou have a conversation, shortly after Bakugou runs into Mineta and his dad over a weekend. Bakugou talks about how his mom, as much as he loves her, has really messed him up. How he acted a lot like she did, how he internalized a lot of shit she believes, about emotions making you weak, about caring making you weak, about having to stand alone to be strong, even if most of it is a bunch of bullshit. About how physical they are with each other, and how he didn’t even realize how much damage that was doing until he saw Deku without a shirt once, and realized how many scars he had. About how Bakugou is trying his best to shed some of her toxic ideas, but how hard it is.

As the story goes on, Mineta is finally starts accepting himself, especially when he starts crushing … on Kouda. No, I am not joking, this was a Mineta/Kouda fic, and I kid you not, that shit was ADORABLE. It starts as the subplot, Kouda and Mineta paired up for a school project, and Kouda finding out that Mineta draws (something he’d been hiding from basically everyone but Kaminari). They start bonding when Kouda invites him to hang out so he can draw some of Kouda’s animal friends, and just gets more tooth rottingly sweet from there. Mineta starts to realize that, after Kaminari, Kouda is probably his best friend. He doesn’t judge him, even when Mineta’s being a dick. He’s teaching him Sign Language, even though Mineta sucks at it. However, he starts to get conflicted, because Kouda is EXACTLY the type of guy his dad would call [a bunch of slurs] but he’s nice! And his Quirk is actually really cool! Not to mention they went to a museum together, and he let Mineta rant about post-modern Impressionism, and they got ice cream, and he’s really cute, andwaitwhatHOLDON-! Eventually, Mineta BiPanics, blurting out most of this to Kaminari, who is a good bro, and helps him out (while also privately planning to murder Mineta Sr.). There’s a lot more back and forth, but Mineta does eventually realize that if he wants to be himself - be happy - be a HERO - he needs to stop trying to be his dad. That he’s ABLE to stop being his dad. He’s in a place where he can safely break away from his dad, with people who will support him and keep him safe.

Now, some other random shit:

- Mineta is technically part of the Bakusquad by the end. No, I’m not kidding.

- Mineta hides his drawing in part because his dad kept insulting Him for it, and he doesn’t want anyone else too

- Kaminari only found out about Mineta’s drawing habit by accident, and he had to really work at it to make the other boy realize he wasn’t going to tease him for it

- Yes, Mineta and Kouda end up dating. For their first kiss, Kouda has to hold Mineta up, which Mineta is embarrassed about but also pleased with (he likes to be held)

- at some point, after Sero and Mineta have a bonding moment, Kaminari dubs them “Sticky Bros” (the two kind of like it despite themselves, and take it as proof they’ve been hanging out with Kami too long)

- Kaminari already kind of suspected Mineta Sr was a prick, as did, funnily enough, Jirou. Kaminari because several of Mineta’s statements seemed like red flags; Jirou, because Mineta sent her at least one playlist by mistake that was of the “Oh, these song choices aren’t concerning in the least” variety

- Everyone finds out Mineta can draw when he does a massive group picture of the whole class in their hero costumes as a birthday present for Aizawa. He actually ended up doing a fairly accurate job of drawing Hagakure’s face, revealing that he’d figured out a light reflecting trick to sort of see her. Later, said light reflection trick is semi-key to Hagakure figuring out how to turn her Quirk “off”

- when Mineta is panicking about his crush on Kouda to Kaminari, he confesses that he briefly had a crush on Shouji, purely for his hugs. Mineta is very small, and enjoys being picked up. Shouji picking him up, he says, is the platonic ideal of being cuddled.

- Mineta and Mina team up for a heroics class against 1-B, and end up kicking Monoma’s ass after he insults Bakugou

- Mineta comes out to most of the class during a game of Truth or Dare. Its right after Tsuyu, Tokoyami and Shoji reveal they’re dating, and he figures if everyone is accepting of that, they won’t much care about him being bi

- Bakugou ends up deputizing Mineta during study nights, because he can apparently explain certain things in a way Mina, Kwami and Sero will understand.

- Yaomomo finds Mineta’s phone at one point after he loses it, and sees a string of texts from Mineta Sr that make her concerned

- there is a big breakdown, where Mineta Sr shows up unannounced, makes a big scene, and Mineta has a panic attack the moment he leaves, thinking the class is going to hate him. I’m actually NOT going to describe it, because just reading it almost gave a sympathy panic attack, and I’m not doing that to myself

-There was also a scene where Mineta explains himself to his classmates, and apologizes to them (The girls in particular) for his behaviour. Everyone is more or less understanding, on the caveat “yeah, we get why you did that shit, and we are trusting you not to do it again, the moment you do we are beating your ass”.

- Ships as follows: Bakugou/Kirishima (like, two weeks after they start living in the dorms); Jirou/Yaomomo (apparently started dating just before the Summer Training Camp); Kaminari/Shinsou (Shinsou is not yet part of their class, but Midoriya keeps dragging him along, he and Kami hit it off); Tokoyami/Shouji/Tsuyu (about halfway through the fic, honestly adorable); Midoriya/Uraraka/Shouto (secondary background subplot about how all three are in love with each other, but think the other two are in love, and keep trying to step aside so those two can be happy. When Tsuyu announces she’s dating both Shouji and Tokoyami, all three have an epiphany, and spend the rest of the fic trying to figure out if the other two are into it. Someone makes the joke that their class has the Stable Poly Trio, and the Chaotic Poly Trio); Iida/Hatsume (not technically dating yet, but heavily implied that they will at some point); Sero/Ojirou (author joked they bonded over being “the plain ones [who are actually badass]”); Aoyama/Hagakure (the definition of dramatic, pansexual disasters); Mina, currently single (the author said they see Mina as grayromantic); Satou, also single (AroAce); Aizawa/Present Mic; and finally Mineta/Kouda

- Fic finale was Mineta Sr disowning Mineta after finding out his son was “a homo”, leading To Mineta becoming a ward of U.A. under Midnight, who was Sort of his mom figure at that point. Mineta Sr also ended up arrested, because he thought it was a good idea to use his Quirk (secreting some kind of adhesive from his skin) to “shut up that gay cockatoo” (Present Mic) leading the PM almost asphyxiating.

Obviously, the fic was better written than my rambling, but here we are. If anyone finds the fic, throw me the link, cause this is the fifth time a fic I really like just FUCKING VANISHED after I recommended it, and I’m starting to wonder if I am cursed.

Honestly this sounds fucking fantastic and I hope someone finds the link

#submission

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massivedrickhead · 6 months

Note

Hope its not too late but I can’t get enough of your sleepy prompts! I don’t know exactly which one I want but I know I want more from you! Your choice, I’m sure it’ll be perfect🤍

Thank you so much 🥹

A few people asked me for a follow-up to yesterday's prompt, so I figured I'd do that with number 1 from the list.

1. “Baby, you look like you’re about to pass out.”

Read part 1

Prompt taken from here

Read on AO3

Beca slept late the next morning, well past when she usually would, and Chloe couldn’t blame her.

The night before had been the worst and longest either of them could remember, and just getting Beca to close her eyes and sleep had been a battle all on its own.

Chloe had remained awake for the entire night, far too wired to be able to sleep, and she’d wanted to be there in case Beca woke up.

Beca had ended up sleeping right through, and she didn’t start stirring until close to midday.

“Hey,” Chloe said softly, brushing the hair from her face as Beca pulled herself from sleep.

“Time is it?” Beca mumbled, grimacing as the pain in her head made itself known.

“Almost lunchtime,” Chloe said.

The bruise on the side of her face was considerably worse now, and it made Chloe wince just to look at it.

Beca slowly sat up in bed, her head swimming every time she moved.

“Can I get you anything?” Chloe asked, wishing she knew how to help.

“No,” Beca said. “Yes. I need to pee, can you help me up?”

“Of course.”

Chloe helped Beca off the bed before she unsteadily made her way to the bathroom.

The fear and panic that had been radiating off Beca the night before seemed to be gone, which Chloe took as a good sign, but she wasn’t sure what had replaced it.

When Beca returned she was still unsteady on her feet, which Chloe knew was the result of the concussion, but it still didn’t make her feel any less worried. While Beca had slept the night before, Chloe had been studying the pamphlet they’d given them at the hospital, and now her mind was running through the list of things to look out for, terrified that Beca wasn’t physically out of the woods yet.

“Are you okay?” Beca asked, her hands braced on their bed frame in an effort to keep herself upright.

“Yeah,” Chloe said, quickly. “Are you?”

Beca shrugged. “It all feels a bit… unreal.”

“Yeah,” Chloe said again. “It does.”

“You look tired,” Beca said. “Did you sleep at all?”

“I got a few hours,” Chloe lied. “I’m okay, Bec. I’m more worried about you.”

“I’d tell you not to, but I don’t think you’d listen,” Beca said, the smallest hint of a smile on her face.

“And you’d be correct,” Chloe replied. “Do you think you’d be up to eating lunch if I made some?”

The thought made Beca feel sick, but she knew refusing would only cause Chloe to worry more.

“I can try,” Beca said.

Chloe took her hand, and the pair made their way slowly down the stairs.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur.

A police officer had come over to take a statement, Beca was on and off the phone with Theo, the press kept turning up and trying to trick them into letting them through the gates, and Beca managed to get an emergency video call with her therapist.

It was an exhausting day, and Beca was dozing on the sofa by 8 pm.

Chloe got her upstairs and back to bed, and she was fast asleep before Chloe had even changed.

She was relieved that Beca hadn’t needed coaxing to sleep, and she was looking forward to getting some rest herself.

Except when she finally climbed into bed, sleep wouldn’t come.

It was too quiet, and every creak of the house sent her heart racing.

Beca’s security team had left now - they were really only intended for when Beca had shows or meet-and-greets - and the only thing keeping any intruders out was their high gate and burglar alarm.

Despite what she’d told Beca the night before, Chloe couldn’t shift the idea that someone might try and repeat what that man and done to her.

Anytime she’d opened her phone during the day, she’d found herself seeing that clip of Beca being attacked.

Whether she looked on a news site, Instagram, or TikTok, it seemed like it was everywhere.

And she knew she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t help but read the comments. For every five comments condemning the attacker, or wishing Beca a speedy recovery, there was one troll account who thought it was funny. Who thought Beca deserved it. Who would love to do it themselves.

It was all Chloe could think about.

What if they came for her?

What if they attacked her again next time she was out of the house?

What if she lost her?

Those thoughts kept her up for hours, long after the sun had risen again, and she braced herself for another busy day running on no sleep.

She snuck out of bed at 8 am and brewed the strongest pot of coffee she could.

She almost jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand on her back 20 minutes later.

“Sorry,” Beca said, taking a seat beside her at the kitchen table. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Chloe shook her head and willed her heart to slow down. “What are you doing up?”

“I woke up and you weren’t there,” Beca said, hating how pathetic she sounded.

“I’m sorry, Bec,” Chloe said, giving Beca a quick kiss. “I woke up early and couldn’t get back to sleep.”

“It’s okay,” Beca said, waving her off.

“How are you feeling?”

“A little better,” Beca said. “My head is still killing me, but the anxiety is better.”

“That’s good,” Chloe said. “Can I get you anything?”

“I won’t say no to a coffee.”

“Not that,” Chloe said, rolling her eyes and smiling as Beca groaned dramatically. “30 seconds ago you said your anxiety was better, I’m not filling you with coffee now.”

“You’re so cruel.”

“I can make you a tea?”

Beca sighed. “That’ll have to do.”

Chloe stood up to grab her a mug, but her head started swimming as soon as she did, black spots peppering her vision.

“Chlo’?”

“I’m fine,” Chloe said, her hand gripping the counter as she waited for it to pass. “I just stood up too quick.”

“Baby, you look like you’re about to pass out,” Beca said, taking her arm and guiding her back to the kitchen table. “Sit down.”

“Sorry,” Chloe said, feeling embarrassed as her vision began to clear.

“Why on Earth are you sorry?”

“I’m supposed to be taking care of you,” she said.

“Don’t be silly,” Beca said. “We’re married, we take care of each other.”

Chloe gave her a weak smile.

“You don’t look well,” Beca said, biting down on her bottom lip. She pressed the back of her hand against Chloe’s forehead. “You’re pale.”

“I’m fine,” Chloe said, again.

Beca let out a huff. “Please don’t lie to me,” she said. “I know I got hurt, I know I freaked out and I probably scared you half to death, but please don’t lie and tell me that you’re okay.”

Chloe sighed and took hold of Beca’s hand. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I haven’t been sleeping, and I think it’s catching up to me.”

“How come?”

“I’ve been scared,” she said. “Scared that you’re more hurt than we realise. Scared that I missed something, and I’m going to wake up and you’ll be…” Chloe shook her head. “I’m scared he’ll come back. I’m scared that this will happen again.”

“Baby, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because me freaking out won’t help you,” Chloe said. “Because if I’m this afraid, I can’t imagine how scared you must be, and you need me to be strong.”

Beca shook her head and then regretted it, wincing as her headache pulsed. “I need you to be here,” she said, once the pain subsided. “I need you to be okay, and you won’t be okay for long if you keep this up. I don’t want you to hide how you’re feeling because you think I can’t take it.”

“I’m sorry,” Chloe said.

“Don’t be sorry,” Beca said. “If this were the other way around I’d… I’d be a mess.

Chloe sniffed and squeezed Beca’s hand tighter as tears began slipping down her cheeks. “I hate that this happened.”

“Me too,” Beca said. “Speaking with Collette helped. Maybe… Maybe you could speak to someone too?”

“A therapist?”

Beca shrugged. “Why not? You were looking into it before, weren’t you?”

“I guess,” Chloe said. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”

Beca grinned and pressed a kiss against Chloe’s knuckles. “Let’s go lie down, you need to sleep.”

Chloe didn’t argue, and the pair returned to their bedroom.

“It’s my turn to keep you safe now,” Beca said, kissing Chloe on the head as they settled down into bed.

“I love you,” Chloe said, finally feeling herself relax as Beca cuddled into her side.

“I love you too.”

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