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srgntjamesbuckybarnes · 2 years

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Buck & Doe (10)

Summary: Natasha attempts to take down Dreykov, who is mind controlling Black Widows. In her quest she recruits Y/N, a former Black Widow turned science experiment. Bucky and Natasha share a history in the Red Room but his life might be intertwined with more than one Widow. The closer they get to taking down Dreykov, the more secrets come to light.

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of struggling to conceive

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: Not Beta’d

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Chapter 10

Tony was the only Avenger not preparing to head out. HYDRA's involvement in the death of his parents forced him to stay behind. His need for revenge had dwindled overtime; a result of a pretty nasty fight with his current super-soldier teammates, but his anxiety had increased. He could no longer afford to be reckless, not when he had Pepper. Instead, Tony retreated to the lab.

“Going somewhere?”

“Hopefully Venice, Cipriani. That is if Pepper ever calls me back.” Tony glanced up from his cardboard box filled with materials briefly to respond to the voice, Steve.

With raised eyebrows the blonde took a few steps further into the lab. “Trouble in paradise?”

“She’s just busy. You know it takes a lot to run a company?”

The corner of Steve’s lips curled upwards. “I think a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist might have mentioned it once or twice.”

Tony’s right palm rested over the arc reactor implanted in his chest. “You flatter me, Rogers. You know, if you weren’t about to head out on a mission I just might have tried to sweep you away to Venice with me.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I’ll leave the honeymooning to Pepper.”

“Hm, your loss.” Tony continued to busy himself with the tools in front of him. “Was there something you needed or did you come all this way to make sure I wasn’t planning on tagging along?”

With a nod towards the door Steve had just walked though Y/N entered.

“Jane’s earpiece needs to be set. I figured no better person to make sure everything is synced up than the guy who made it.”

The earpiece wasn’t complicated to work. Sure there had been a few Stark tweaks to them but nothing any of the other Avengers couldn’t figure out. Steve knew Tony had been itching to be useful but for some reason he wasn’t. Rather than prying, Steve offered Tony a simple task hoping he’d bite the bait.

One look at Steve and Tony knew what the super-soldier was doing. He would take the bait and hope Steve knew he was grateful but he wouldn’t say it. His pride wouldn’t allow it.

“I suppose Venice can wait if the Avengers need my help.”

Clapping a hand on Tony’s shoulder Steve thanked him before exiting the lab leaving Y/N and Tony alone.

“Bring it here.” Tony called out while pulling a bunch of metal utensils from a drawer. At the sight of the earpiece in an outstretched hand Tony frowned. “Don't hand it to me. Leave it on the table.”

An awkward smile graced Y/N’s lips at the odd remark but she decided to let it go. Her thoughts were on a more interesting topic.

“So, Pepper,” Y/N asked, jumping up on the lab table beside Tony’s workspace. “Is she your girlfriend?”

Side eyeing the woman making a mess of the lab table he replied. “Wife.”

Tony could practically hear the gears turning in Y/N’s head. He knew he was about to be bombarded with a million questions much like a child does when curious.

“You’re not really going to Venice, are you?”

Keeping his eyes trained on the earpiece below him Tony grunted. “What makes you think that?”

Without missing a beat Y/N slapped her hand on the box beside her. The rattling of metals and glass in the box rattled loud enough for Tony to meet her eyes.

“For someone going to spend time with their wife you sure have a lot of work packed.”

“Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” Tony glared. Y/N failed to waiver from Tony’s glare catching him by surprise. Between her typically timid nature and being a child running around the tower, Tony had almost forgotten the woman before him was a Widow. Sighing, Tony gave in. “I’m going downstairs to tinker on my suit.”

A moment of silence passed before Y/N started kicking her feet against the lab table. “Is she the reason you’re not going with us?”

Glancing up from the earpiece Tony sighed again. “Yes.” After a pause he seemed to have changed his mind. “I mean no. She’s not forcing me to stay behind if that’s what you’re asking.”

Eyeing the metal tweezers pointed at her, Y/N brushed his hand away. She hadn’t missed the way Tony’s eyes softened when his eyes met hers, a look of desire. Nor had she missed the defensive tone and change of answer. He was hiding something but she had yet to figure it out.

“You’re doing it for her.” Y/N whispered.

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Unlike Steve, he knew Y/N would pry into his personal life and figure it out. He had been surrounded by Natasha long enough to know that. He knew Y/N had been trained to do the same. He also knew Natasha was a steel trap with secrets. Another thing he knew had been ingrained in Y/N through the Red Room; however, unlike Natasha, unfortunately, Tony knew Y/N could relate.

Hanging his head Tony gave in. “We’re trying for a baby.”

Y/N’s breath hitched, her right hand absentmindedly reaching up to rest over her vacant womb.

Lost in thought, Tony began to word vomit. “My dad wasn’t around much but when he was he was hard on me. I hated the guy. For the longest time I was afraid of being my father, and maybe a part of me still is. Bar- HYDRA, killed my parents. I want to defeat HYDRA but I want a family too and in order to be a father, I need to be here. To be a better father than my old man was to me. I can’t abandon Pepper and my future child.”

Y/N’s left hand squeezed Tony’s left trembling hand. “You’ll make a great father Tony. You’ll see.”

Thankfully the cool air provided Bucky with a reason to wear his black leather gloves without drawing attention to himself. The brunette’s metal hand clasped in the child’s right as they strolled towards the library. His flesh hand constantly fidgeted with the black backpack on his shoulders. He hoped if they were caught he could play off the Winter Soldier seeking to return home bit long enough for Y/N to shift and change into the adult clothes he carried with him. If he brought the adult Y/N with him into HYDRA’s base they wouldn’t buy the bit if she went with him willingly and if he had to carry her or fight, they would definitely draw attention to themselves.

Despite the Avengers lurking in the city at different points along their path to the library the super-soldier couldn’t help but be alert. His eyes glared at everyone from under the brim of his black baseball cap.

“I got eyes on them.” A feminine voice called into his earpiece.

Grunting in acknowledgement, Bucky bit his chapped lip and glanced over his shoulder.

“Great. Barton and I will head towards the library now.” Steve replied.

Scanning the large crowd, the hairs on the back of Bucky’s neck raised. Something was off. He couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched despite the Avengers keeping their eyes on them.

“Look ‘Key!” Y/N called out tugging Bucky across the street. “Kitty!” Y/N squealed, eyeing the white cat in the pet store window.

Bucky frowned. “It’s just a cat.”

“Can we get it?”

A scoff left the super-soldier in disbelief.

“Barnes, get the kid back on track.” A voice interrupted in his ear.

Silently cursing, Bucky gently pulled the little girl’s hand in hopes to avoid a scene. “Remember what we talked about earlier? No distractions.”

Frowning, the girl pulled Bucky’s hand again. “But can we get her after?”

“I’ll get you whatever you want.” The smile that spread across the child’s face nearly blinded Bucky, it was so bright. “After the mission.”

Almost in a hurry now, Y/N began pulling Bucky through the crowd.

“Slow down, will ya.” Bucky called out, squeezing her hand as to not lose her.

“Got everything under control?” Clint joked reminiscing about his own children.

A huff left Bucky as the child was back at his side. He wasn’t too fond of the idea of walking with a child through large crowds. He didn’t like it on a normal day and he certainly didn’t like it while heading towards a HYDRA base. Anything could happen.

“Buck?”

Choosing to ignore any more distractions he pulled Y/N closer continuing to glare at the people surrounding them. The people now staring at them. Bucky pulled his cap further down his face hoping the civilians wouldn’t recognize the Winter Soldier.

“Bucky!”

Swinging around to scold the child once more his voice caught in his throat. Y/N lurched forward fisting his red henley. A very naked adult Y/N. Cursing under his breath he tried to shrug his jacket off. He regretted buckling the front of the backpack across his chest. Y/N’s body blocking the buckle.

“Barnes, you have to get out of there now. You’re drawing too much attention.” Natasha warned.

Forgetting the jacket Bucky wrapped his arms around Y/N pulling her closer. His large forearms concealed her exposed form as he carried her through the crowd. Feeling the warmth of her breath tickle his neck Bucky’s eyes scanned their surroundings for the quickest exit. As if on autopilot, his long legs carried them down the closest empty alley. Maybe it was muscle memory from saving Steve in alleys in the 40’s but he knew he could protect her there. Bucky let out a sigh of relief at the sight of the red brick wall at the other end of the alley. He would only have to guard one end.

It wasn’t until Bucky reached the mouth of the alley that felt her tremble against his chest. He wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment or the cold air but he knew the solution: clothes. Gently leaning Y/N against the wall at the other end of the alley, he attempted to step away, his head held high to give her some privacy. Y/N refused to let go.

“Jane, you hav’ to let go. I hav’ to take the bag off. You’re gonna freeze.”

A moment passed with no movement between the two.

“You’re safe here.” Bucky whispered, lifting his flesh hand to brush the back of her head.

Again, silence. Bucky’s earpiece was quiet. The city life could still be heard from the other end of the alley but the loudest sound was their beating hearts. Bucky wasn’t sure whose heart would give out first, his from adrenaline or hers from embarrassment.

“What happened?” Steve broke the silence.

Tilting his head up at the sky Bucky replied. “I don't know. It wasn’t me; she held my left hand.”

With Bucky’s head facing the sky, Y/N ran her shaky hands along the super-soldier’s chest. Bucky could feel her trembling hands failing to open the buckle but ignored it tilting his head further back.

“Jane?” Bruce suggested.

He knew they couldn’t see them but he shook his head anyway. He knew something was off earlier but it hadn’t been Y/N.

Finally releasing the buckle Y/N was quick to plant her hands on Bucky’s shoulders and shove the straps off his broad shoulders. Though expected, the thump of the bag hitting the ground made them both jump.

“Everybody take five.” Natasha interrupted. “We’ll regroup in ten.”

While grateful for the distraction with conversation, Bucky was thankful for the clicks of the earpieces on the other end. He had more pressing matters to deal with. Reaching up to turn his own earpiece off he cleared his throat. “I’m gonna turn around now.”

Feeling her nod against his chest still at loss for words, Bucky took a small step back before turning on his heel. Watching Bucky’s back retreat closer to the mouth of the alley Y/N scrambled towards the bag for her clothes. Her eyes never left the super-soldier.

Bucky planted his booted feet at the beginning of the alley, his massive arms strained against his sleeves as his arms folded across his broad chest. He debated rolling his sleeves up, letting his arm intimidate people alone but decided against it. It would draw more stares their way.

Most figures passed by without so much as a glance in Bucky’s direction. He wasn’t sure but Bucky guessed Y/N was nearly finished based on the less rapid movement as opposed to minutes ago. Just as Bucky reached up to turn his earpiece on, the hairs on the back of his neck raised for the second time that day. Scanning the crowd once more, his eyes landed on a hooded figure walking towards him.

“This alley’s occupied.” Bucky called out.

The figure kept coming.

“Hey.” He growled out while snatching the person by the shoulder.

“James.” The voice was muffled beneath the hood but Bucky heard it clear as day. Without releasing the shoulder of the figure Bucky reached up pulling the hood off. His face paled, eyes widened, and his mouth became dry. A ghost reemerged to haunt him.

“Becca?”

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@nelly-belly @small-death-and-codeine @amberritonicole @hallecarey1 @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @val-writesstuff @rhiamaymay @lilhoodhippie

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mattmurdocksscars · 2 years

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For the spooktober prompts: Matt Murdock fae au with the prompt "Looks like someone wants to be a mom" pls?

I hope you don't mind but I altered the prompt slightly! Just to sounds instead of looks. Sorry it's not really on the sexy side.

Everyone knew the forest at the back of town was dangerous. It was said that fae walked the woods and would steal away anyone who so much as walked into the woods.

And yet, you found yourself walking amongst them with no fear.

What had you to lose after what you'd been through over the past month? Perhaps the fae would be kinder than your village.

You still jumped when you heard someone speak.

"Lost, sweetheart?" You whirled around and promptly lost your breath at the man standing in front of you.

He was beautiful. Auburn hair, brown eyes that seemed to glow, antlers that curled above his head, elongated ears that came to a delicate point.

Simply put, he was the most gorgeous being you'd ever seen. And you knew immediately that he was dangerous.

"No. No, I'm not lost." You said quietly, deferentially. You didn't want to upset the fae after all.

"Then what is it that brings you into my forest?" You shivered and looked down.

"I... I'm sure it would seem trivial to you. But I'll tell you if you truly want to know." When the fae inclined his head, you told him everything.

About how the village healer claimed you were barren, as that could be the only reason your husband and you had been unable to conceive. At the news, your husband had called you worthless and left you, quickly replacing you with a younger woman. The village now considered you a spinster at best, damaged goods at worst. No man would ever want you and you? You were dealing with the heartbreak of knowing you'd never hold your own babe in your arms.

"So, you see, sir... I'm not lost, simply uncaring of what happens." You admitted. You had to admit that you had to lack a certain level of care to walk into such a dangerous place. The fae had listened to you with a soft frown on his face and when he stepped closer to you, you couldn't deny the way your heart skipped a beat.

"Sounds like someone wants to be a mother." He said softly. "I could assist with that if you'd like."

You took in a sharp breath, surprised at his offer.

"I... yes, I would like to be a mother but, I told you. I can't-"

"You are not the barren one, sweetheart." You froze. "You are actually quite fertile. If I had to guess, it was your husband who was the infertile one."

You didn't miss the way his lip curled at the mention of your husband... ex husband. But listening to him, if he was right...

Then you weren't the problem. But after the way the village treated you, you knew no one there would ever be willing to give you a chance. But if you came back from the forest with child...

That could be even worse.

"I know what you are thinking. Which is why if you accepted my offer, you would have to stay here. Within the forest where I could keep you and our child safe."

Your heart pounded as you considered his words. You knew making a deal with the fae was a fool's errand but if he would take care of you too?

"What do you gain from this, fae?" You asked boldly. While you knew angering him could be catastrophic for you, you needed to know what you were getting into. The fae smiled.

"Matthew. My name is Matthew. And I gain a child. And potentially... a mate. I've grown lonely in this forest. I know you are wondering if this is too good to be true, but I promise these are my only intentions. Isn't it enough to ask you to give up any connection to the outside world?" He mused. You were beyond shocked. He had given you his name. Surely that must be a sign he was telling the truth.

You mulled it over for several moments before you finally looked at the fae- Matthew again. He was smirking as if he already knew your answer.

"When do we begin?"

"Right now." He purred, offering his hand.

You took it without a second thought and just like that, your new life began.

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x female reader #fae!matt murdock #spooktober

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areseebee · 2 years

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This isnt a prompt, just something Ive been thinking about, not only is James sort of taking her brother's place in the house and in the family, but imo its also thrown Michelle from being the little sister with a big brother, to being almost like a big sister for James (in that shes having to look out for him) which must be a hell of a shock to the system. Not to mention James going from being alone and an only child who probably never saw much of his family apart from his Mum, to being in the middle of this extended family and having a sibling relationship for the first time. I have a lot of feelings about the Mallon/ Maguire cousins ;_;

such good points, anon, you’ve really had me thinking about this for a couple of days, and it’s sent me down a small rabbit hole and resulted in the unfocused, unwieldy train of thought you see below. i have lots of feelings about the mallon/maguire cousins too! and i don't feel like i've even begun to fully unpack them here.

but i’m thinking about the timeline, especially. i’m doing the math and estimating that niall is probably 2-3 years older than michelle. could conceivably be more, could conceivably be less, but this feels like a good sweet spot to me. but it also likely makes niall an actual child still (i’m thinking he’s 17 when he’s imprisoned, which makes michelle potentially 14 – a year before s1 derry girls) and that’s just really devastating.

and if this all happens only a year before james moves to derry, how incredibly crushing it would be to see james move in, like deidre is just replacing niall who michelle isn’t allowed to go see or even really talk about so it’s like he doesn’t even exist anymore.

so for michelle, james is there, in her house, staying in her brother’s room – it’s only been, like, a week and everyone keeps calling it “james’s room,” even her ma, as if niall hasn’t barely been gone for even a year. it gets her boiling every time – and now she can’t even fucking be rid of him at school. honestly, they should all just let him get beat up at the boys’ school, the english prick – maybe he’d learn to stop making those faces like he’s just tasted something minging every time he looks around at his surroundings.

she’s tried being nice but he doesn’t seem to get it, not with the way he’s always got that sour look on his face. fine then, but she just wishes he’d get it through his thick skull that she doesn’t want him here just as much as he doesn’t want to be here, he’s not special for it.

the night before the start of new term, she thought everyone had gone to bed so when her ma knocks, she lets out a startled, “jesus christ!” and then a “fuck!” because now she knows she’s going to be in for it – for staying up too late, and for the language (as always).

but then her ma comes in looking so tired and doesn't even say anything about the late night or the language, and just sits, perched at the end of michelle’s bed and asks her, “promise you’ll keep an eye on him, won’t you, michelle?”

michelle is so shocked that all she says back is, “aye, mammy, i promise.” which she really fucking wishes she hadn’t said because now she’s going to have to actually do it.

and james doesn’t really, fully understand it. like, he gets that his older cousin is in jail for killing someone – not surprising, if he’s being quite honest. niall always freaked him out a little, and he’s got an…interesting taste in music, if james is going off the posters on the walls – but no one really talks about him until michelle catches him taking down a dead kennedys poster and goes absolutely mental on him.

the next weekend, when his uncle martin tells him he’ll help clean up the room so james can feel more at home, james notices how gingerly martin takes down the posters, rolling them up and labeling them carefully like they’ll be sorted through and hung up again someday.

he feels really bad that he didn’t ask first when he started taking things off the walls before and makes sure he eats all of the cowboy supper they order from fionnula’s that night without complaint.

#thinking about how dierdre talks about looking at james #and hating him for being english #has a new color to it now #i wonder how much of james reminds her of her son #and only in the painful ways #ask #derry girls #derry girls spoilers #michelle mallon #james maguire

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triviareads · 2 months

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ARC Review of The Home Wrecker by Sara Cate

Rating: 4/5 Heat Level: 4.25/5 Publication Date: March 25th

Premise:

A poly romance with a married couple; Caleb and Briar Goode agree to let Dean live in their guest house after his house burns down. Both of them grapple with their attraction to Dean even as their own marriage is falling apart.

My review:

I'm a huge sucker for marriages in trouble in romance novels, and Sara Cate delivered! There's angst and there's drama, and there's also this surprisingly tender love story between three people who all feel like outsiders in one way or another.

Caleb and Briar's marriage is falling apart; they're struggling to conceive a second child and sex is more of a chore than for pleasure. Enter Dean, who is a sex worker at the local kink club, and was also Caleb's younger brother Isaac's first boyfriend when they were teenagers. He also believes Caleb broke them up all those years ago, which is why he decides he's going to seduce Briar. Writing it here sounds a bit campy/soap opera villain-y, but the hurt surrounding Isaac being kicked out after coming out runs deep in both Dean and Caleb, and it's a recurring theme in this book.

I saw a lot of promo about there being cheating in this book— I imagine it did its job in warning some people and making others curious, like me. So yes, there's cheating; Briar and Caleb individually cheat with Dean without telling one another beforehand. It's... unethical nonmonogamy, if you will. What's also interesting is there are flashbacks of how Briar and Caleb got together that parallel the main story, and their relationship also began with, you guessed it, cheating.

So what we get is this slow seduction of a lonely, attention-starved wife via wine nights and long conversations, all while the husband is getting increasingly suspicious— it's a classic, and it works. The not-so-classic part is that Caleb confronts Dean on multiple occasions, and these confrontations are riddled with sexual tension underneath all the male posturing. I like how Sara Cate wrote Caleb's bi awakening— it's these little things adding up like when he realizes he's checking out Dean, but you do get the sense he came to terms with it (to a degree) some years ago even if he never thought he'd act on his attraction to a man after marrying Briar. But when he does, it's actually kind of great. I also liked how Sara handled their transition from cheating to polyamory with a lot of deftness and care (Dean being a sex worker, Briar and Caleb's inability to conceive and their next steps, Caleb coming out as bi); their conflicting back-and-forth regarding what others will think is just the right amount so the reader never loses sight of that inevitable HEA.

I do have a couple notes— I don't think it was necessary to have a verbalized "bet" between Caleb and Dean about whether Briar would cheat on Caleb with Dean— regardless of Dean's intent to seduce her, the bet itself came across as immature (especially for Caleb, a man in his thirties) and icky. There's also the matter of Caleb's father's impending trial for assaulting a woman; I'm not sure exactly how valid it is for the book's hero to consider helping his father to the extent he did, especially considering the victim is his brother's girlfriend. I understand Caleb is an attorney, and a lesser charge could increase the likelihood of the defendant being put away, but I was surprised Caleb was conflicted for as long as he was.

The sex:

Solid, as per Sara Cate's usual, and lightly kinky. Dean first functions as a sex coach to Caleb and Briar, but the lines become blurred very quickly and his approach becomes more, ah, hands-on. It's also funny when both Caleb and Briar keep getting jealous of each other for the time they spend with Dean, but that jealousy has them constantly jumping the other two and they can't even call it retaliation because they're like, genuinely getting off on it.

Standout moment sex-wise was probably some very interesting things done with foreskin while Dean is jacking himself and Caleb off. I had to reread that one a couple times to get it.

I will also say this for the Goode brothers: they really have no qualms about defiling daddy's office(s).

Overall:

I'd recommend this book to any romance reader; The romance between Briar, Caleb, and Dean was tension-filled and brought the heat, and it also packed an unexpectedly emotional punch by the end.

Thank you to The Author Agency for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

#out today!#sara cate #arc #arc review #romance novels #contemporary romance #book review

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inkforged · 4 months

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I had a spicy dream the other night and I can't stop thinking about it.

Not the spicy bit, I mean a little, but every once in a while I will have a spicy dream and for the next week or so I'm more depressed than usual.

It's not because of the sex, it's the intimacy that I'm craving. The close and precious relationship that I've only ever witnessed, but never experienced. I've dated and I've had sex. None of those experiences were romantic, lasting, or satisfying.

Dreams like that remind me of the year before my older sister's wedding. On June 28th, 2013 we were stuffing envelopes for my sister's wedding and I was talking about if I needed a plus one. My mom said, "You have a full year, you never know what can happen in a year." On June 28th, 2024, it will be 11 years since my mom and I had that conversation and I'm still the lonely, never-loved, touch-starved hopeless romantic that dreamed of having a plus one. I have more pressing worries these days

I also turn 30 in 26 days and THAT is fucking terrifying. Everything I was pressured to accomplish in my 20s has slipped through my fingers. This last year has set me so far back, that I can't catch my breath. I don't have a solid career, I moved back in with my parents, I'm still very very single, and I don't have any hope of having children soon.

Now, I hear all of you saying "But you're still so young. You have time!" Do I really?

I have PCOS, the chances of me easily conceiving a child are slim. I don't want to be a 40 year old new mom, and I don't want to rush any relationship just to beat my biological clock.

Then maybe I think that I wasn't meant to have children. I can live with that. I have nieces and nephews and you best believe I'm going to achieve my goal of getting a Bernese mountain dog. What I can't live with is being alone for the rest of my life.

It's hard to paint a picture for those who have never experienced long-term or chronic singleness. It's not just lonely, it's painful. Have you ever craved touch? Not sexual touch, but someone holding your hand, playing with your hair, caressing your face? I swear I can FEEL my skin aching for touch. I want to be held and cuddled. And I feel absolutely pathetic for still struggling with this after all of these years. My feminist brain wants to declare that I don't need a man and I'm strong and independent and can do anything and that's still true, but it doesn't mean I don't WANT it.

I want to know what it feels like to be loved and cherished. Not objectified, fetishized, or made to feel less. I want the romance. I've never received flowers from a man, which is dumb, but it'd be nice. I want someone to know my coffee order and randomly show up just because they want to spend time with me. I want to watch my favorite movies with them and have a show that we watch together. I want to go on dates and not be hidden away because they are ashamed to be seen with a plus size woman.

I don't want anymore milestones to be met and lost without a person to call mine.

I've put myself out there, I've been on the dating apps over and over again and I just know it's not for me. It's going to be impossible, but I think I'm only going to meet someone the organic way.

I've looked forward to every stage of my life, sure that this would be my time. In college, after college, new environments, new groups, new cities, new churches, and every time I've been disappointed. I'm not surprised though. I was called fat to my face last week so it's not a mystery WHY I'm still single. I just wish that I was enough. I know that if I were to lose all the weight, I'd be more attractive on the surface, but it would still take surgeries to look normal. I would have to get my loose skin removed and things lifted. Even then, I'd be scarred and saggy in places. I'd probably still deal with my PCOS beard and have a new slew of insecurities to deal with. I just want me to be enough for someone because I'm never going to be beautiful. There will always be something monstrous about me.

This all feels very desperate and cringy, but when your heart wants something so bad, it's hard to ignore. When I dream of a kiss or kindness from a man it just reminds me of what I don't and probably will never have. It breaks my heart.

Living is hard enough, I can't imagine doing this by myself for the rest of my life. I mean, I guess I can, but it's not something I'm prepared for. I know life isn't fair, but it can't be THIS unfair. Why was I dealt this hand? I often wonder if I was created to show people what their life could look like so that they don't take it for granted.

I don't know, but I hope not.

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thecopyeditorsdesk · 1 year

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Research thoughts:

I read an article on racism and credit scores while researching for a piece I'm working on tentatively titled "Credit Scores Are the New Redlining." Following that down the research rabbit hole led me to the pronatalist movement in the early 1900s. I was not surprised that the words of the Eugenicists behind the movement sounded a whole lot like the anti-abortion folks in our present time.

As someone who grew up in Fundamentalism and was a part of the so-called pro-life movement, I thought about how we were told that being pro-life was actually anti-racist. But following the timeline from 1900 to today, there is a direct connection between eugenics and anti-choice. I do not believe the majority of those who are against abortion and women's rights are aware of this fact. It, like all racism in the Church, has been white-washed, and the members are reluctant to look behind the curtain for fear that the great and powerful Oz is just a weak and sniveling old man.

I also think the history has been so neatly obscured that even many who are pro-choice do not really understand what is happening. They think it's only about controlling all women. (And some actually believe that it's only about saving babies.) That is only a small part of it. If you listen to their arguments against abortion, one is that "if you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex." The other goes hand in hand: "if you can't afford a child, don't get pregnant." So sexual pleasure is only for the wealthy, and if you push them far enough, they will admit it's only for the rich whites deemed worthy. They have to be physically and "mentally" fit. (I use quotes around that because I think the mental fitness of the rich is dubious.)

It is always fascinating to look up from my research and see that I'm miles away from where I started, yet I'm still on the right track. I believe this is because researching issues that affect the marginalized in the US always leads back to our racist roots. (I once researched comparisons between TERF ideology and the Puritans, and there are a few similarities.) And, of course, further back to the bizarre human assertion that "my religion is better than your religion; therefore I must hate you and kill you if at all possible."

Last summer, I read The Bonobo and the Atheist by Frans de Waal. His observations of bonobos in the wild showed that bonobos were far more cooperative and less violent than their chimp cousins who had been separated from them by a river. Waal pointed directly toward the difference in resources. Bonobos had what they needed, whereas chimps suffered from scarcity.

We marginalize others because those in power make us believe that we will somehow receive a blessing if we do. They use the scarcity they have created to divide us. In the US, this plays out as poor and middle-class whites embracing racism, either openly or unconsciously. Our contempt against those who are more marginalized than we is dark humor at its worst. Why we believe that joining the rich in their hatred for minorities will benefit us is beyond me. It never has; a simple perusal of history will show us that. But, as with the pro-life movement, people do not want to look too deeply into it. Truth is a terrifying thing. And the truth is, they hate you and me as much as they hate minorities.

Reads:

Conceiving the Future: Pronatalism, Reproduction, and the Family in the United States 1890-1938.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/904674

Why Credit Scores are Racist.

https://medium.com/commonfuture/why-credit-scores-are-racist-da109fcfb300

The Bonobo and the Atheist: In Search of Humanism among Primates.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4487598

#writing #research #American racism #eugenics #American eugenics #pronatalism #oppression of women

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asexual-hugger · 2 years

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Lily Spencer: A baby?

Allison: Yep.

*Allison is in the bedroom in the beach house, her phone held in front of her as she video chats with Lily, Kamilah and Jax. The three of them are huddled in Kamilah’s New York office, Lily’s laptop open on her desk. Lily had called to check in on the honeymoon, and Allison has just revealed to them that she and Adrian are trying for a child. Adrian himself walks into the room at that moment and crawls across the bed, gently pushing Allison forward so he can get behind her, and he begins massaging her shoulders*

Adrian Raines: Hey, everybody. It's so great to see your faces.

Jax Matsuo: Raines. How's the honeymoon?

Adrian Raines: Fantastic. What's not to love? I've got everything I want right here.

Allison: Mmm, that massage feels amazing, Adrian!

Adrian Raines: Good. I want the best for my wife.

Kamilah Sayeed: So is it true, Adrian? You and Allison are going for a baby?

Adrian Raines: Yes. I just called Dr. Reinhart, and she's agreed to set up an appointment for us at the beginning of next month. She said, and I quote, ‘I will open my calendar immediately for Adrian Raines and his wife. No questions asked.’ (He kisses Allison’s head with a grin)

Kamilah Sayeed: Reinhart? Dr. Jade Reinhart? She's supposed to be the best vampire doctor in the city. It's next to impossible to get booked with her. Did she really open her calendar just for you?

Adrian Raines: She did. Guess the CEO of Raines Corp has always been a fan favorite.

Jax Matsuo: So apparently money really does talk. Who's Jade Reinhart? I'm guessing some voodoo doctor.

Kamilah Sayeed: She’s not a ‘voodoo doctor,’ she’s a vampire doctor. The only one in New York. She tends to vampires that are sick, injured, and apparently, planning a pregnancy. I'm puzzled by this, you two. Vampires have never been able to conceive children. How would you even go about making this happen?

Adrian Raines: Well...

Allison: Adrian said almost the same thing, and here's what I know. I had a vision. Last night, when we were sleeping. Thanks to my Bloodkeeper powers, I saw myself giving birth in a hospital room. I felt the pain, the labor, everything. Adrian was there, and he was crying. He kept saying that he couldn't lose me, like I was going to die if the baby didn't come out of me. Everything was fast. I didn't get the whole story, but I did briefly see the baby’s face.

Lily Spencer: Oooooo! Boy or girl??

Allison: I don't know. It did have Adrian’s eyes, though.

Jax Matsuo: A mini Adrian running around the house? I could barely handle the first one. No offense, Raines. You took a lot of adapting.

Adrian Raines: None taken. I'm just glad that I got to know you.

Allison: Hey, there's a chance this baby could look like me, too, you know. I'm not pregnant yet. I want to see what Dr. Reinhart thinks and whether my vision is true. If it is, I could be the first vampire in history to give a natural birth.

Kamilah Sayeed: Allison, I think by this point we all know what the outcome of your visions have been. Each one has come true so far. Why wouldn't this one? But back up to the topic of you almost dying. What if that happens when the time comes?

Adrian Raines: (glaring) It won't. I won't let it. I'll do everything in my power to keep Allison alive and make sure she has a safe birth. Mark my words. I won't lose her again. The first time was more than enough.

Lily Spencer: I think we're all on the same page with that one. So in echo to Jax’s question, how is the honeymoon going? I still can't believe you two are at a beach house, like Adrian’s PERSONAL beach house. I'm jealous AF.

Allison: You guys seemed to know where we were going before I did. How does that work?

Adrian Raines: I may have swore them to secrecy. I wanted to surprise you.

Allison: Well, color me very surprised. I didn't even know you owned a beach house.

Kamilah Sayeed: None of us did. Adrian usually shares a lot with me, but he never shared this. Sounds like he was saving it for a very special person.

Allison: I'm that special person, I presume.

Adrian Raines: You are.

Lily Spencer: So how's the beach house? Is it everything you hoped? I wish I could be there right now feeling all that soft sand under my feet. Is the sand soft?

Allison: It's great. It's just what you'd expect a beach house to be. Our bedroom windows look right out on to the ocean, and the whole area that the house is built on is private. We have our own beach.

Lily Spencer: You are so freaking lucky.

Adrian Raines: We're spending the next few weeks here, and then we'll be back in New York. Kamilah, how's the fort back there? Has anyone else attacked since the wedding? (He glances at Allison with worry)

Kamilah Sayeed: We’ve been taking every precaution. Jax has been handling things at the Shadow Den so his Clan is prepared to fight if need be. As much as things have been a lot better between humans and vampires, there are still those that will make every move to kill us. They don't believe in unity between the species, and after the Black Death raid at the wedding, I have a high hunch that they won't be the last ones. There are still too many anti-vampire groups in the city.

Adrian Raines: I will do what I can to protect Allison. The only thing that matters to me is keeping her safe.

Allison: I can protect myself. I have fighting skills, remember? And who's going to protect YOU if you need it?

Jax Matsuo: If you're capable of having children, Allison, we can't take that for granted. You and Adrian are too important to lose. We will all do what we can to fight for ourselves and you. The Black Death already attacked once. We can't risk them doing it again. Who knows what other cults they're connected to? If and when the time comes, the two of you could create the future of vampires. You may not think so, but that is a huge deal. It will be a blessing, but also make you a bigger target than you already are. Most of these anti-vampire cults oppose the creation of new vampires, regardless of how they're formed.

Allison: I have considered that. Still, I want to try. For Adrian’s sake. After hearing about what happened to his family, I decided that I should at least do something. He never had much of a chance to hold his child in his arms or see him grow up. I want to change that.

Lily Spencer: Allison Raines, always the heartfelt one.

Adrian Raines: Allison... (Tears glint in his eyes, but he's smiling)

Allison: I want this, Adrian. I want to give you another chance at a family. A child to hold. To raise. I want you to have the experiences you should have had with Eleanor and Charles. I want you to be a father again, for the right amount of time. I want to be this child’s mom. Your wife. I'm going to try and try until I’m holding a baby in my arms. That vision appeared to me for a reason. I'm meant to be a mother.

Adrian Raines: You will be. You will be the most loving mother. Any child we have will be the luckiest vampire in the world to have such a caring, wonderful mom. And I'll be with you every step of the way, all the way up to the day they're born.

Jax Matsuo: We'll all be there. You have a support team, Allison. You won't be doing any of this alone.

Lily Spencer: Awwww, group hug for Team Allison!

Allison: You guys.

#choices stories you play #fanfiction scene #bloodbound #pixelberry

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wolferess · 2 years

Text

BETAS DON'T MATE, AT LEAST NOT WITH ALPHAS...

TW; NO QUIRK AU, FLUFF, COMFORT, AGED UP, ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION (bakugou drinking), FEMREADER, SLOWBURN

Beta’s don’t mate.

Beats are normally by themselves, sometimes also called the lone wolf.

They don't mate alphas.

They don't mate omegas.

They don't mate.

Beta, Not lower than an omega but Not entirely higher than an Alpha, they are normal. Nothing really special about them. Some would say it sucks being a beta, some say they like being a beta.

A beta is not the type to mate long-life like Alphas and Omegas do, like I said their lone wolves.

That’s Y/n, a lone wolf. A normal child. Nothing special.

Her family were Alphas and omegas. No betas. I guess she broke the family line of being Alpha and Omegas.

Omegas were meant to be with an Alpha in order to conceive their future pups, Omegas aren’t allowed to mate with betas or with another omega; it's illegal and the price for such an act is execution. Not something Y/n want to go through.

Highschool has always been tough despite not being the only beta there but they fact that her family is famous and known for having pure Alpha slash omega blood, not a single beta in the family, people made fun of her because of that though she never let it get the best of her at least when she isn’t around anyone that would see her in her vulnerable state. She tried many times to appease her parents with good grades, running a charity doing noble things to get their attention but it never works, they always had their back turn towards her apparently all they care about was her second gender.

College, well lets just say it was calm for the while, Y/n never let her ‘friends’ got the better of her and she strived for what she could do best, she may not be the smartest in her family but she does have knowledge for what it will apply later to her the future. She graduated from college with a good degree. It was the happiest moment of her life but what she wished is for her parents to see how much she has achieved in the past eighteen years but as always they didn’t care but she never let that stop her from smiling.

Three years later

Working as a beta isn’t easy, despite getting a degree your status ruined for certain jobs but that didn’t stop you from applying for a job. After all, you have to pay for your bills and meals…

Working as a part-time barista at a club and at a coffee shop, coffee at day and club at night. You have seen some weird shit in the club, some to the point you don’t think bleach would help while at the coffee shop it's peaceful when there aren’t any ‘karen's’ asking for a refund but other than that the days are decent.

Every once n a while a gang of your old school friends would come in to torture you acting like entitles asses as if they own the place sometimes you hate the policy ‘Customer Is Always Right’. ‘Yeah right my ass’ you say in your head as you clean up the mess they made almost costing your job on the line for the umpteenth time but eventually you caught up to their schemes.

Nightfall arrives and you head off to the pub you work at, greeting your decent enough coworkers and you go behind the counter.

[AN; I don’t know much about drinks but I did a little research on drink names so excuse me for not knowing]

Hour Later

“Welcome to Thinks and drinks, what are you feeling for?” you said with a smile to the man in front of you, he looked to be in his early 25 with a stubble, small tea bags under his eyes, ashen hair that looked like hay, he had on a white shirt rolled up to his elbows with a tuxedo pants. He grunted “The Usual” his alpha aroma giving out a deadly scent of burning wood making omegas and occasionally alphas staying away from him but due to the scent reduction not many can smell it as strong as he wanted them to and you smiled “Coming up!” Yes you know this man by the name of Katski, unaware of his status.

Yes ‘The Usual’, he has been coming to this bar for no more than two weeks and he usually orders the same kind every time so it's no surprise but ju “Here’s your usual, White Russian with a little extra Vodka, just how you like” Sliding the drink to his direction with enough momentum so the drink won't fall but it will land straight into his hand and down it goes into his throat, his adam apple bobbing with every gulp of his drink. “Hit me with another” he uttered. Passing another you headed for the other customers serving their drinks.

Within two hours, Katsuki on his sixth glass started to get tipsy “Wow I think you wanna slow down your intake there buddy” you said, usually it's about four glasses before exiting the pub but I guess this time he’s really stressed out .

“Oh f*ck off, I know my intake” he slurred “Yeah I believe you” you responded sarcastically causing a ‘tch’ noise to escape his lips, “Listen here beta” his muscles flexed as he pointed a finger at you “I know what I can handle” his figure almost topping you, showing his dominance that He is the Alpha, he gets what he wants if he wanted, “Now be a good girl and past me another” he sat back down knocking the counter something customers normally do when needing another drink. Rolling your eyes you made his drink muttering ‘Asshole’.

“Your drink sir” you bellowed, he snatched it from top the counter and gulped it down as if it was water, rolling your eyes as you headed off to serve other people.

Another two hours had passed and he looked as if he was about to pass out right then and there and by the look of the amount of drinks he would have a bad hangover.

“Hey, do you have someone to take you home?” you poked his head causing him to lean back and he growled at you for almost tipping him out of his chair, with a sigh you told your coworkers that you're clocking in and you contemplate on where you should carry him. It's either a nearby affordable hotel or to your apartment.

Neither sounds good cause

You barely know him

What if he tried to rob your belongings

Thinks you kidnapped him

Leaving him in a hotel will leave him startled and confused

Though the fourth option was tempting but you don't wanna pay for just a one-night stay at a hotel, rubbing your temple to ease the tension in your brain and without a second thought you carried him to your apartment. Yes this may be a stupid idea and you fear the consequences but you somewhat didn’t have a choice.

“Alright big guy, lets go” you pulled him out of his chair and slipped your head and arm under his arm to stabilize for the long walk, “Where the f*ck are you taking me?” rolling your eyes you barked “My place” “Woah but I don’t even know you plus your a beta” You stopped you didn’t even think of it like that where was his mind even going!? “W-where’d you even get that idea. Look, you're drunk and I don’t know any of your friends or family members that could pick you up!” your protest fell onto deaf ears as he was already passed out, a sigh escaped your lips.

Carrying him was a challenge due to his big figure and height, he would unexpectedly , with every huff and puff and praying to who you believe to somehow make the trip shorter and as if your pray has been answered, there you were standing in front of your apartment building ow its just to get him in the elevator, thankfully, and up into your room.

《《Time skipped》》

Finally arriving at your apartment, grabbing the apartment keys and carrying him to your bed to rest up till morning or whenever his drunken state is over, yep it's best to wait till morning.

After almost being crushed when resting him onto your bed, you sat on the edge of the bed catching your breath and giving your back a break, by how painful your back felt he owes you a massage.

Getting off the bed you remove your clothing and other accessories on your body and face and changed into your nightwear and head off to the couch, putting on something to watch till you felt drowsy and knocked out on the couch.

Morning comes……

Bakugou POV

Waking up onto an unknown bed, with unknown sheets, had him startled no doubt, seeing himself still in his clothes that was a breath of relief, he hadn’t been taken advantage of last night, but where was he?

Removing his legs on the ground and easily getting off the bed since a nasty hangover was taking over, growling with each step he took till he was at the bedroom door, slowly opening the door he saw a room that was conjoined with a kitchen and a body’s back facing him.

Slowly stoking up to the person that somewhat smells familiar to him but doesn’t at the same time. A slight scent that is a mixture of pine and something flowerey, maybe lily?

Turning slowly after feeling a lingering presence behind you, almost hitting him with the frying pan in your hand, your breath a sigh of relief, “Gosh you couldn’t be anymore silent” a hint of sarcasm in your voice.

Y/N POV

He just scoffed, before putting a hand on his spiky hair and growling from the pain that had subdued for a little before hitting him back almost ten-fold, telling him to go sit down and you’ll give him an Advil for his hangover headache. Another reason why you don’t drink.

After gulping down the tablet and waiting for it to settle and do its magic, he watched as you headed to the oven to continue what seemed like breakfast, “Hey, would you like some pancakes or something else?” he heard you say despite the pounding headache that is slowly yet surely going away “Whatever’s fine idiot” he grumbled unaware that you just rolled your eyes.

Within ten minutes the pancakes were ready and you both sat in silent eating and enjoying breakfast, the only noise that was made were the forks hitting against the plate.

“Do you have your phone to call someone to pick you up or do you need an Uber?” you intervene, using one of his hands to search through his pockets to find his phone only to realize that it's not there, “F*ck, I must’ve left it at that f*cking bar last night ``''Alright I’ll call an Uber for you then” and going back to continue with breakfast.

.. .. ..

After thirty minutes an Uber was in front of your apartment building and after offering to pay he refused bickering saying that he could pay for himself, not wanting to continue you let him win.

Now that He’s gone time to repeat your day

Clean up.

Work.

Come home.

Work.

Sleep.

Repeat.

Bakugou POV

Being dropped off at his mansion and paying the Uber a decent amount and heading inside he saw a certain red-headed man that was secretly his best friend, Kirishima.

Shoving his hands in his pocket and walking to clean up himself as if Eijirou present isn’t even there before he felt a broad palm clamped onto his shoulder. “Where were you bro?, I’ve been calling your phone all night” his friend scold but he just brushed off his palm and said “None of your business Shitty hair”

“I’ve been saying this since high school days, my hair is not that different from yours but that's beside the point!”

Kirishima has a smell that is Persian Lime when in distress or anger or in rut the scent gets more sour. And it's sour in the moment we speak of.

“Wait, what's that scent on you?” “Is it an omega?” Bakugou stopped in his tracks, now realizing he faintly smelt like you, your faint warm scent rubbing on him every so gently.

“That’s none of your business, Shittyhair” he ignored his question and walked to get ready for his job.

It's been at least a week since that last encounter with him and you were starting to wonder if everything's alright. Something in the pit of your stomach is churning in anxiousness, sadness and many other mixed emotions and pheromones.

You miss the way his hair looks, his fire eyes that you never got bored looking into, his palms that are twice the size of your hand, the way his muscles flex unintentionally when he gripped his drink- slapping your cheeks, trying to get his image out of your head and focus on your task at hand.

That was a bust, he has never once not appeared in your head, ‘What’s going on with me!?’ ‘Am I falling for him? I can't, it's not possible!?’ This can’t be, do you know what this could do to you!? Well me neither but I don’t think you wanna find out.

‘Ok I think I can get over this ‘high-school girl crush’ right?....’

Back with the explosive blonde, just organizing paper works and going into business meetings to help uplift the business a bit and eventually make it the number 1 business.

“GET OUT!” he yelled at a poor omega, fleeing from his murderous gaze and busting into tears as she rushed past Kirishima almost knocking into his chest, “Come on Bakubro that's like the sixth one in this month!”, clicking his tongue at the red head who couldn’t help but let out a big sigh.

“Okay it seems that you need a beta as an assistant since you scare EVERY other omegas” emphasis on the every. “Do you know any betas?” Kirishima looked with curious eyes and that wide smile that looked like a thousand rays shining on.

Slouching on his chair with arms crossed, vermillion eyes hidden behind his lids, a shadow casting under his hair and brows slightly knitted together. Who is a beta that he knows of. A memory flash of you, he hasn’t visited you down the bar in about a week.

Ducking his head lower to hide the blush that forms on his face, how could be thinking about you right now? He is in need of an assistant but you’re plaguing his mind “I think I got one…” he broke the silence “Great who?” the red head questioned. “I’ll talk to her later” , “So it’s a girl huh?” Kirishima teased, causing a stapler to be flown in his direction as he fled for his life.

Till next time ;3

#alpha bakugou #bakugo x reader #bakugo fluff #alphabakugou #beta reader #bnha #bnha omegaverse

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tamelee · 2 years

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And that is just it, because maybe next time draw them not cheating and we can be friends. Il even support you. But I will not support yaoi obsessed fangirls that make a compelely different story when clearly there are two happy families that youre trying to ruin just because you want to see two guys together. Can you not read? Have you not seen the anime? And like I said with the other one SS also is happily married it is all canon AND BESIDES THAT they have a daughter. If you say and you claim that, that you like these characters so much, then stop making them look so bad. They go from happy husbands to mean cheaters because yaoi girls are horny.

I dont think youve even read gaiden if youre going to claim things about Sarada. Ive seen what you implied, but I think you just cant handle the truth. You know nothing about it and I dont think youve even read the novel which is canon btw. So why dont you stop making these guys look so bad?

Thankyou.

Man I hate to do this, because in no way do I like to be this negative, and you messaging me telling me what I can or cannot draw, I can still easily ignore. Your other asks similar to this are just funny to me. Fact is, I don’t care about your preferred and superficial ships or your support in any way.

But you editing my art is in no way acceptable, that’s common decency. Worse, you just had to insert Hinata into it, I mean what else is new- no I’m not surprised I’m just pissed off, because it seems as well that you’ve been harassing others too.

Don’t come here trying to lecture me as if I’m a little child, miss princess-hime/sama/chan. Get off your high horse, I’ll only reply once.

I don't know what I said about Sarada/Gaiden, but I have an idea.. so if you must know: yes, I am in fact studying creating a manga. Yeah, that says jack-shit- I’ll get to the point.

I’ve been obsessively studying story/world/character building ever since 2020 when I decided to learn how to draw in order to create my own web-manga, but I’ve been completely ignorant then, thinking that learning that was all I needed to do.

The way you set-up your panels, the flow in which the reader goes through your story, how you carefully pick out every single word of your characters and give anything you see, objects, gestures, composition, expressions.. all are equally as important! (If not more.) Then there are parallels and recurring themes, little hints and details.. the pace. It all matters.

Keep all I said before in mind and in short, Gaiden screams: “Sarada’s very existence is probably (partly) science based and Karin is in any case involved. Perhaps Orochimaru too. Also, they all look guilty, distressed and obviously are keeping secrets about the way she’s conceived/born and there is no proof SS are even married.” The recurring theme from Naruto to Gaiden however still is “connection” and “bonds”.

That’s just a fact. Canon Manga-wise. Same with everything SNS.

Now whether that eventually is the case or not we don’t know, we’ll have to wait. However, we don’t call the author: ‘Kishimoto-sensei’ for no reason. The man’s a genius as he forces us at times to read studiously in order to pick up the complex, though very obvious allegory within the Naruto-verse. He completely makes use of the previously mentioned manga potentials as expressive tools in order to deliver in my opinion the most beautiful narrative between two people ever written as well as darker themes which on the surface may seem like “just an easy-to-read shonen story.”

If you’re going to lecture me on storytelling, then in turn, I’d like to recommend you to look into Allegories in Literature. If you understand this method of writing and you would take off your NH/SS goggles then you might come to know what I mean. Meh, a little far-fetched to ask of you, but I still have hope.

But anyway, Kishimoto implying the Sarada thing in Gaiden and then in the end doing a complete 180 would be..

..well, maybe a repetition of Chapter 700 of Naruto. Defying all storytelling rules, dropping it all in the bin, rapidly diminishing, as if he suddenly forgot he was creating Naruto for a large part of his life.

It wouldn’t make any goddamn sense. But it can happen.

I would hold your ignorant hand to test my own patience and walk you through it, but there are people already who have made very insightful posts pointing out most of the things I had in mind. I would leave links, however I'm sure you’d go harass them also, so go look for it yourself if you must, but keep your shitty opinions to yourself. (Again.. I have hope!!)

NOT ONE SNS fan cares about your silly “they’re married” or “it’s in the novel (fancy fanfiction, you mean)” arguments, trust me. In fact, I can guarantee you that there is nothing you can come up with that’ll make any of us sprinkle some value on your hunched over form as you proudly gush out Viz Media’s latest marketing plans that keeps your little shipping heart temporarily happy.

It’s like stopping a stranger on the street and creepily whisper to them that “water’s wet” and expect them to be so enlightened that they’ll follow you around and join you behind your stalker tree for support.

Idk if you’ve seen Attack on Titan, but this is what you remind me of.

Now get your homophobic ass out of here.

#ask #idk if I should tag this as anti but #anti ss #anti nh #just in case #sorry for being negative (not to you princesshime person)

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dandelion-sugar · 3 years

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𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐟𝐞 『Adam x Reader』

Summary: Reader was Adam's first wife before he married Eve.

Warning: Angst, a little fluff, death, deities are really cruel

15,8k

Author's note: Requests for Genshin have not been forgotten! I'm working on it BUT I just finished season one of Record of Ragnarok and needed to write about Adam. I think he deserves more writing about him...he's the best husband and father Earth could have!

"A demoness? A succubus? No! A human whose legends turn her into a fearsome ruler of the underworld! She rules an entire army with an iron fist! Made of the clay of creation, she is made in the image of the gods! N°00000000002 : Lilith!" shouted Heimdall to announce your entrance.

You have been chosen to save humanity. The creation of Adam and Eve. You don't know why Brunhilde trusts you to save the humans. What could she possibly have been thinking in choosing you? Were you the best choice for this? Protecting the beings conceived by your ex-husband and his new wife. Unlike your ex-lover, you refuse to walk around naked. Your body is far too precious to be revealed to the world. You stand in the middle of the arena waiting patiently for Heimdall to finish presenting your opponent.

Your eyes rest on your army led by your only son. The only being you have ever given birth to. The third human born. A slight smile appeared on your lips. Your son resembled his father, and you found that particularly funny. You couldn't help but think that Adam's genes were particularly strong. But the way your son stood proudly at the head of your army...he took that from you. Even if you were to perish in this fight, you know that your army and your son will come through.

Your right hand will be around the shaft of your spear. You hear the mocking laughter of the gods, announcing your crushing defeat. You hear the hesitant whispers of humans about your place among the fighters of humanity. You are known in human legends to be a danger to pregnant women and newborns. To be honest with yourself, you hate this legends. You are a mother, how can humans think that you would harm a woman and her child? Your eyes drop slightly to the floor and your lips pucker into an unpleasant pout. After a few seconds, your face frees itself of all displays of emotion and your hand rises to challenge Heimdall.

"Yes, Lilith?" asks the god who has the role of announcer.

"I will not fight under that name," you announce.

"Huh?" he blurts out in surprise.

"I will not fight under the name of the monster the humans wanted to make me," you reply immediately.

"So...what do you want to be called?"

Lying in a meadow, you enjoy the sun and the soft breeze on your bare skin. Rabbits and foxes quickly surround you to enjoy the comfort with you. Everything is perfect in the Garden of Eden. A shadow covers your face, forcing you to open your eyes to discover the obstacle between you and the sun. It is a pleasant surprise when you discover your husband's welcoming smile, his blonde locks framing his face. Adam sits down beside you, placing his fruit basket between his legs. He pulls out a bunch of grapes and takes one between his long fingers. He then brings the fruit to your lips to let you savour the sweet, pleasant taste of the fruit. A sigh of contentment crosses your lips. Your husband's smile widens as he notices your relaxed state.

"You have grape juice running down your chin, Lilith," Adam informs you.

Your eyelids droop slightly as your eyes express your displeasure. Adam only lets a laugh emit from his throat as he leans forward to lick the grape juice off. Your hand gently but firmly pushes him away. You want him to understand that his gestures of affection will not be tolerated again until he realises his mistake. And you know perfectly well that he has understood what he has done.

"Stop teasing me," you say, a frown appearing on your face.

"I like to see your eyebrows furrow. You look like that kitten that was trying to scare us." replies Adam, running his hand over your hip stroking it in lazy circles, as if to soothe you.

"But unlike that kitten, I can bite," you reply sharply.

"I know you can..." he hums in the hollow of your ear. "Y/N."

This memory was a moment of pure happiness that you experienced in the Garden of Eden before you were forced into exile. This name you chose with Adam was the beginning of your independence from the gods. You had never accepted the principle of being subject to a man and Adam always supported you in this choice. But the gods did not like this and in response you abandoned the name they gave you at your creation. Perhaps this is why Eve was created from Adam's rib? To prevent her from becoming like you.

"Y/N. Call me that," you proudly announce.

The gods of your creation frown but do not protest. They hope that you will perish against one of their own and that your soul will disintegrate in space and time.

Adam had slipped out of the room where he was locked up. When he learned of your presence here, he did not expect you to fight for the humans. The children he had with another woman. He snuck into the bleachers to get a better look at your figure. A sense of nostalgia stirs in his heart as he sees that you haven't changed in all this time. You stand with dignity, your weapon in hand. You are strong and independent, you have become the woman you always dreamed of. A woman you could not have become if you were in his company because...everyone wants his wife to be submissive to him.

Adam does not regret his married life with Eve, he enjoys it too. But he has enjoyed the life he has lived with you. He believes in your victory. He wants you to win. He does not want to witness your complete disappearance from the universe without any chance of reincarnation. Your first separation has already split his heart in two, Adam does not want to experience this intense pain a second time.

You swing your divine spear with one hand, deflecting your opponent's first blow. The strength in this attack was not worthy of a god, was he testing your abilities? Your eyes meet. The victorious and arrogant smile on the god's face already irritates you. He underestimated you because you are a human AND a woman. His leg comes to sweep over yours but you manage to dodge by gaining height. You position your spear, blade towards the ground to pierce his skull. The god quickly dodges in a backward leap, leaving you to land on the ground, puncturing the concrete floor which cracks under the impact.

Your exchange of blows lasts for a while. Or should we say: the god throws blows at you that you deflect with your spear. But suddenly, his paterne changes. The force that the god uses becomes more powerful. His leg comes to meet your stomach. You prevent the blow from reaching your skin by placing your spear between your stomach and his leg. Unfortunately, the attack sends you flying a few metres away. You manage to land with difficulty and before you can regain a stable footing, the god launches himself at you. You are forced to fall to the side in a roll to narrowly dodge the punch. Your cheek begins to bleed.

"Mother!" your distraught son shouts.

"Commander! Get up!" your soldiers shout to encourage you.

You let out a breath, your muscles relax, making your movements more fluid and lively. Your eyes fall on the figure of your opponent. The aura around you changes completely, causing the small smile on the god's face to disappear. Your hands grip the spear and your feet anchor themselves to the ground to give you a good foothold.

"Answer my question before we resume this fight. Why are you fighting for the humans?" the god asks.

"Do I need a reason to fight? The gods have forced me to be submissive and men have clothed me in a veil of monstrous lies. It's like choosing between the plague and cholera," you explain. "But I had to choose and I chose my ex-husband's children.

The humans observing the exchange begin to stir, either out of guilt or because they were moved by your story. Humans get teary-eyed easily, you think. But you can't help but find this side of them very touching. Perhaps it was a good thing that Eve was the Mother of humanity?

"Humans have the will to survive and a strength that allows them to constantly evolve. This is a strength that the gods can never possess," you say with contempt.

Your hatred for the gods is much stronger than your hatred for humans. On your words, the fight resumes. You manage to follow your opponent's movements. Like Adam, you were forged from clay in the image of the gods. You are Adam's equal, you have the same ability as him to copy the techniques you see. Your movements remind the gods of Athena. You had copied the movements of this goddess a long time ago.

Your body and that of your opponent are covered in blood. You are bleeding from the wounds inflicted on you, but you were able to avenge yourself by seriously injuring your opponent as well.

Adam clenches his lips into a thin line, his fingernails digging into the palms of his hands but he still believes in your victory. You must win. You can't give him up a second time...you can't.

"They've created a second wife for you," you scream indignantly.

"You're the only one for me," Adam admits in an attempt to calm your nerves. He can't bear to see you cry.

"It's only a matter of time before the gods kick me out of the Garden of Eden! I don't understand their desire to have me submit to male authority! Do goddesses submit to male deities?" you growl in frustration. The anger was so strong that you can't hold back the tears.

"If they chase you away then I'll go with you," Adam announces, interlacing your fingers together.

A soft warmth spreads through your chest as a gasp of surprise passes through your lips. A slight blush marks your cheeks as you look away from your husband. You can't help but enjoy the tender feeling. Adam wraps his muscular arms around you in a soothing embrace. His scent calms your restless nerves.

"Spend the night with me tonight," you whisper.

"We always sleep together," he says, tilting his head to the side, not understanding the meaning of your words.

"Adam..." you gasp shyly. It almost sounded like a soft moan.

His blue eyes widen slightly as the implied request is processed by his brain. A teasing smile spreads across his face as he leans in to your blushing ear to whisper provocative words.

That was the last evening you spent in his company before the gods kidnapped you and threw you away from the Garden of Eden. You never tried to return to that place, you knew it wasn't possible. So you did your best to survive. You were able to thrive and enjoy your newfound independence.

That night Adam gave you a gift, your son: Eurynome. A child identical to his father, who grew up with you as his only role model. He has become an independent young man capable of leading an army. But he remains a child... a child afraid to be alone without the reassuring presence of his mother.

It is impossible to understand the pain of losing a parent when you have not experienced it. No one could understand a tenth of the pain of Eurynome's scream as the god's fist plunges into your chest.

Your eyes crinkle under the sudden fatigue your body feels. Your right hand struggles to hold the spear. The humans weep in despair as the gods celebrate the downfall of Lilith, the woman who did not obey divine orders.

Nausea takes hold of Adam's body. All that blood, your blood spilling on the floor. Will you die? Disappear forever...you don't even know that he witnessed your fight. You will never know that he missed you terribly. You will never know that he wanted to feel your warmth in his arms again and whisper those three words to you.

Your eyes linger on your son's tear-streaked face. A peaceful smile appears on your lips. A fire of determination shines in your eyes. Your hand tightens around the spear and you slice the god's jugular before collapsing to your knees. If you must die...then you will prevent the gods from achieving a victory as well.

Your eyes slowly close and your hearing becomes increasingly blurred. The voices are now just an indistinguishable din.

Adam could only watch as your body and the god's dematerialize into a smoke of green glitter. His legs move towards the battlefield as if trying to retrieve the flakes that represent your soul dissolving into space. But your son's crying snaps him out of his trance. His eyes fall on a miniature version of himself.

Cain and Abel have some characteristics of their father but Eurynome is a carbon copy of Adam and you would have to be blind not to notice. Adam walks over to your son and takes him in his arms, sharing his pain. Adam fully understands the tug of war that Eurynome feels.

That night Adam gave you a gift, your son. Today, this gift will show the world that you existed. That you are not like your legends.

You are an independent woman, a mother and Adam's wife.

"Adam," you call to your husband, who is perched on a tree branch.

"Yes?" he hums, keeping his eyes closed.

"Don't you think I'm strange?" you finally question him. "Do you think I owe you obedience too?

Silence passes between the two of you. A pain assails your heart at this lack of response and you instantly regret having asked him the question. The disappointment was much stronger than you had thought. You look up abruptly when you hear a thud only a few feet away. Adam had just jumped from his branch. His back was to you. He turns towards you, his face devoid of emotion. He encircles your cheeks with his warm palms. His piercing blue eyes almost seem to probe your soul and you struggle to hold his gaze. But your desire to know the answer prevents you from looking away.

"We are husband and wife, I accept you as you are. Don't change for the world, for anyone," Adam says with conviction.

"So...you love me like this?" you ask aloud, wanting to sound confident.

Adam looks at you slightly surprised at this sudden question. He hums softly before leaning in to kiss your forehead. The smile he flashes makes your heart race.

"I love you," he says.

"I love you too..." you admit after a few moments.

#record of ragnarok #record of ragnarok x reader #ror adam #Angst #shumatsu no valkyrie #Adam #x reader #ror adam x reader

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a-bang-for-your-bucky · 3 years

Text

TBOU: Chapter 4: Let's Stop Before It Gets Messy

chapter three

Summary: Things were going great until they weren't. You get results that shouldn't surprise you as much as they do.

Warnings: ANGST, Smut (fingering, implied unprotected sex), somewhat toxic relationship(just to be on the safe side), Santiago thinking he's being sweet when really he's being an ass, fighting (verbal), Pregnancy.

A/N: Alrighty guys! For those who have been on this ride since the beginning, thank you. For those just joining, thank you. I love this story and these two so much. Thank you @firefly-graphics for the divider!

After the first time, you and Santiago couldn't keep your hands off of each other. Any chance the two of you got, you were having sex. It was like a dam had broken and you were flooded with hormones. Even Benny, the king of PDA, was sick of how handsy you were.

Despite how much you fucked though, you and Santiago fought more. And you weren't even pregnant yet. It started off with small things, like he wanted you to stay at his house once you conceived, so he could be available to you. You wanted to stay at your apartment where you were comfortable.

You wanted to keep up your daily life while Santi wanted you to take it easy the entire pregnancy; He wanted you to be safe, protected. You tried to assure him that pregnant women all over the world work and live their lives while carrying. He just wasn't having it, “nothing but the best for the mother of my child” he told you.

Things escalated when you two fought over the baby's name. Santiago assumed that you would just give the baby his last name, but you didn't want that. The two of you weren't married. You wanted to hyphenate the name.

"That's stupid. Why would we do that? Garcia is the baby's last name. That's final." Santiago determined, slicing his hand through the air as if to cut off what you were saying.

You stomped out of his living room into the kitchen just to get some space from him. He followed right behind you. "I don't understand why the name being hyphenated is such a bad thing? I think our last names sound great together." You tried to counter, but he wasn't budging.

"Because kids take their father's last name, that's why." He argued back. You understood where he was coming from, but this baby was going to be part of you too, and you were not willing to only give it Santi's last name. Why wouldn’t he just compromise? Is this how the rest of your life was going to be?

"That's old and outdated." You huffed, annoyed with his bullshit. "I'm not giving in on this." You stood your ground. Santiago crossed his arms, shaking his head.

"Well there's no way I can have a kid and they don't have my last name." The words punched you right in the gut. How could he say that?

"Then I guess you're not having a kid." You replied, gathering your things, and walking out his front door, leaving him speechless.

You had gone back to your apartment, falling into your bed in tears. How could he have said that? Why did everything have to be a fight with him? You wanted this, he wanted this, but you couldn't even agree on the baby's name.

Hours passed, and you had fallen asleep. You didn't hear Santiago enter your apartment. He brought your favorite flowers, pulling out a vase from under your kitchen sink. He arranged the flowers, put them in water, and set them on the counter.

He couldn't believe he got so bent out of shape. You were right about the name thing being outdated. Your idea was a compromise and he should have seen that. He called out to you, not getting an answer. He walked through your apartment before finding you asleep in your bed. Your eyes were rimmed red; He made you cry. Something he never wanted to do.

He gently crawled into the bed behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. You slowly woke, feeling him next to you. “Santi?” You asked sleepily. He hummed behind you, pulling you tighter to him.

“I’m so sorry, bebita. I never meant to make you cry.” He whispered into your hair. You wanted to believe him, but could you? There was so much going on in your head and in your heart. You twisted in his arms, so that you could face him. He placed soft kisses to your cheeks, as if to kiss away the tears you had already cried.

“Santi, I--” You paused, distracted by the heat coming off his body, distracted by his closeness. You bit your lip, trying to refocus yourself. A rough hand brushed over your face, before guiding your lips to his. The kiss was feverish, but slow, deepening with each movement. You pulled back to take a breath. “I’m sorry, too.” You apologized, before kissing him again.

The two of you made quick work of your clothes. He slotted himself between your legs, easily sliding a finger into your wet heat. “Santi, please.” You begged. He kept moving at his slow pace, as he tutted.

“I gotta get you ready, sweetheart.” He crooned, sliding in a second finger. “Come for me, and I’ll give you what you want.” His fingers moved methodically, rubbing against that spot inside. It didn’t take long for you to clench around his digits, spasming as he helped you ride out your high. “That’s it, baby.”

In the haze of your orgasm, you reached for him, wanting to feel him close. Removing his fingers, he positioned himself so he was at your entrance. You shifted underneath him, trying to get him to do something, anything. He chuckled at your neediness. He moved his hips, sliding in with ease.

It had been a few weeks since your fight with Santi. A few weeks since you had incredible make up sex. It was a vicious cycle the two of you were stuck in. You'd fight, say sorry, fuck, repeat. This last time, you had a moment of clarity. You kicked him out of your apartment, tired of falling back into the same routine. You called the whole thing off, telling him you couldn't do it anymore.

You had your rousing suspicions that you were pregnant. First, you had an aversion to your favorite food, the smell sending you retching into the toilet. Second, your breasts become insanely sensitive. Third, and the reason you decided to take a test, your period was 4 days late. You were never late.

You had bought a handful of tests when you first decided to go through with this. You pulled the package out from under the bathroom sink, quickly scanning the instructions. You pee on the stick, it’s not hard. You thought, but you still didn’t want to screw it up. You did your business, placing the plastic onto the bathroom counter. Three minutes. The longest three minutes of your life. You finished up, washed your hands, and waited. Slowly, the results began to show.

TWO PINK LINES. POSITIVE.

You were pregnant. You were having Santiago's baby. Now how did you tell him? The last time you saw him, you told him you didn't think you could do this. You had been ignoring his calls, his texts.

You pulled out your phone, scrolling down to his contact. Your finger hovered over it for the longest time, before scrolling back up to find Benny's. You clicked it, it rang a few times before Kayla answered.

"Hello?" She said. You sighed, you really needed Benny.

"Hey, Kayla. Is Ben around?" You asked, voice quivering.

"Actually, he is in the shower. Can I have him call you back? Are you okay?" You could hear the genuine care in her voice.

"Um. No. No. That's fine. I'm okay. I'll just text him later." You thanked her before hanging up. You rack your brain, trying to figure out where to go from here.

Brooke. Call Brooke. You thought. Dialing her number, you waited. When you heard her soprano voice come through the device, you blurted out, "I'm pregnant!" There was silence for a brief second before she said she was on her way over.

Thankfully, Brooke and Frankie only lived 10 minutes away. She was at your door in record time. "Come here," she said, sitting her bag on the floor, before pulling you in for a hug. "When did you find out?" She questioned, still holding you tightly.

"Like 20 minutes ago?" Your voice was calmer than you felt. "How do I tell Santi?" You asked, pulling away from her.

"What do you mean? He wanted this. You aren't scared to tell him, are you?" Brooke took your hand, bringing you to the couch.

You gladly took a seat, your knees felt weak. "No. I'm not scared. It's just the last time I saw him, we decided we weren't going to go through with this. I decided I wasn't going to do this." You sighed, laying your head in your hands.

Brooke sat beside you, pulling you into her arms. "It's okay, sweetie. We will figure it out. Frankie and I are here for you." Her voice was calm and soothing. The woman was a natural, probably the best mother you had ever met. "Have you made an appointment? You should get a blood test confirmation." She told you, running her fingers through your hair.

You sniffled, unsure when you even started crying. You hadn't thought about getting a blood test. You clearly had things to do. You pulled away from Brooke, wiping your face and sighing loudly. "Okay. I can do this." You tried to convince yourself.

Tag List: @mylifeisactuallyamess , @pedritomando , @leannawithacapitala , @440mxs-wife , @swordandstar, @thereadingsofahopelessromantic, @emmy626 , @prettylilhalforc , @dailyreverie @aria725 @diaryofkali @bodapenguin @lazyunknownwerewolf @phoenixofthevalley @xoxabs88xox

#santiago garcia x f!reader #santiago garcia smut #santiago garcia x reader #santiago garcia x you #santiago garcia #triple frontier smut #oscar isaac smut #oscar isaac fanfic #kat writes #a bang for your bucky

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angellesword · 3 years

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MAGIC SHOP | JJK (13)

Description: You and Jungkook were best friends who were in love with each other. What would happen when Soojin, your half sister who you’re trying to impress, told you she’s in love with Jungkook too?

Alternatively:

“Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?”

Pairing: Architect!Jungkook x Architect!Reader

Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, family drama, angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, pining, slice of life au.

Warnings: mention of infidelity, leading to insecurity (poor Sin-ae.) manipulation, cursing, unrealistic BOD meeting lmao

Chapter’s OST: Fight Song by Rachel Platten

Word Count: 5.1k

Series: CHAPTER 12 | CHAPTER 14

It goes without saying that one should either stay away or fight those things that destroyed them.

It was long overdue and you knew it. You shouldn't have let the Kims treated you like garbage. You should've fought them the first time they violated your peace.

But no. You did none of these because for the longest time, you felt like you owed them. You felt like you had ruined their perfect family so now you were required to pay for it.

It was like you were your father's souvenir from a long trip of fucking around. A memento that reminded Sin-ae and your siblings that Taemin betrayed them.

All souvenirs had limits too though. Over time, they started to deteriorate. You felt like this was happening to you. You were no longer that pretty little thing that did whatever the Kims wanted.

You had enough; however, it didn't mean it hurt any less.

"Hey, are you okay?" You heard your name being called. You felt his hand on the small of your back before you saw his face. He was keeping you steady in place.

"Huh? Um—" You tilted your head, meeting the gaze of the person who saved you from collapsing. "Architect Jung?"

You blinked at your former co-worker, making sure that you got his name right. You hadn't seen him in years. What if you remembered his face wrong? What if he's not Jung Hoseok, the only architect in this firm who Jungkook adored?

You remembered from years ago when Jungkook pouted all day because Architect Jung announced that he would be quitting his job soon. If you remembered it correctly, your best friend even shed a tear. He really liked this mentioned architect.

Luckily, Hoseok didn't push through the resignation. Until now, he was still working at Castle. All you knew was that he didn't like working on site. He preferred guiding junior architects and working in the office.

This was why it didn't come as a surprise to you to run into him today. You were simply curious if he was really the Hoseok you knew from years ago.

He looked different. His hair was longer and his gaze was dark. The Hoseok you knew always smiled bright. What changed?

"You don't look okay. Maybe we should sit first?" Hoseok guided you towards his office room.

You took a seat on the couch, watching as Hoseok strode towards his mini fridge to get a bottle of water.

"Here..." He handed it to you after opening its cap. "Can I get you anything else?"

Hoseok sounded like a concerned big brother. There's a warm feeling in your chest because of the way he looked at you. It's as if he truly cared about your well-being.

"No. This is fine. Thank you, Architect Jung." You smiled politely at him. Sometimes you forgot that some people could show you kindness without having an ulterior motive. "You already helped me a lot. I'll probably collapsed on the floor if you didn't catch me."

You chuckled lightly. You were confused, guilty, and hurting. These mixed emotions were probably the reason why you felt like you were going to faint. You walked out of Taemin's office right after telling the Kims that you should see one another in court if they had concerns about your father's last will and testament.

You left instantly because you didn't trust yourself. What if you said the wrong things and made the situation so much worse? A part of you knew you deserved to inherit a portion of Taemin's assets despite being an illegitimate child. On the other hand, you felt like you were being unfair to your siblings for thinking this way. You took so much from them already. Wasn't it enough that you succeeded in breaking their family apart?

"Are you eating well?" Hoseok asked with concerned eyes. He was currently sitting on the couch right across you.

Architect Jung's office was spacious. It was bigger and comfier than Jungkook's space here at Castle. You wondered if it was because of his position or if it had something to do with his relationship with your father.

Your father always brought Architect Jung and Jeon with him whenever he had meetings outside Korea. The three of them were pretty close. Years ago, you actually heard Seokjin and Taemin fighting.

Your eldest brother was demanding to know why Taemin preferred the company of Hoseok and Jungkook more than his own sons. Your father was quick to defend himself, saying that Hoseok and Jungkook were architects and one of them could be his successor—the one who could help continue his legacy—unlike him and Namjoon who chose a different path.

Seokjin was wrong to drop the argument after that. He should've dug deeper. He should've questioned his father and exposed his secret.

You were not the only illegitimate child of Taemin. Hoseok was too. You found out about it on a very underwhelming day: today.

"Or are you still sulking because you didn't get to attend our father's funeral?"

You realized that some people could say mean things easily. Hoseok didn't know that his words hurt you, making you feel like you didn't have the right to feel sad about not seeing your father for the last time.

But that's not your concern at the moment. You squinted, like you're trying to see if Hoseok grew two heads.

What did he just say? Our father? Did you hear him right or were you just too emotionally drained to be conversing with other people right now?

"You get overwhelmed easily, my dear sister." Architect Jung observed with a thoughtful gaze.

You were still too stunned to speak.

"Now I'm not so sure if I should tell you all my secrets. You don't look like the person who can help me take down the Kims."

"I—I." You flinched at his words. Take down the Kims? What the fuck was he saying? "I don't understand this. Why would I want to ruin...my family?"

You cringed the second the question left your mouth. Even in your own ears, you sounded pathetic. After all this time, you still thought you're part of that family?

Maybe Hoseok wasn't the confusing one here. It's you and your stupidity.

"They're not your family." Architect Jung corrected you through gritted teeth. "Family helps each other. The Kims destroyed you and our father—"

There it was again.

You cut him off because the more he spoke, the more confused you got. Your temples were aching and suddenly, you weren't so sure if the culprit for your headache was still the Kims.

You thought Hoseok was making you feel perplexed. He seemed to understand the confusion he's bringing because he looked at you with sympathy as he picked up the folder on top of the center table, the same table separating the two of you.

"Maybe this will help you understand better." He handed you the folder.

It was as if your hand had its own life. You were already reaching for the folder before you could process what he said.

Hoseok urged you to open it and read the first page of the file.

You obliged. Lips trembling as you silently read the content. Your temples throbbed more. You had seen this same paper years ago. This was a paternity test result. You knew because Sin-ae demanded a copy of this when Taemin claimed you were his child.

"Y-You're..." Your heart was in your throat. Your face felt hot and it was difficult for you to speak.

Still, you pushed hard and asked; "you're my brother too?"

It's strange. To feel warmth in your chest.

Hoseok was your brother.

He was family.

"I am." Hoseok's jaw ticked. He swallowed before saying "I'm the eldest son of our father..."

Your hands balled into fists upon hearing that, not in annoyance but because of happiness. Finally, you felt like someone would understand what you feel. You asked Hoseok to share his life story to you, but only if he felt comfortable.

The last thing you wanted was to drive him away. Fortunately, your brother didn't mind sharing. It's not like he had a choice. Really.

This was the only way he could think of to convince you to help him make the Kims pay.

Hoseok started by telling you that his parents had a romantic relationship even when Taemin was already married to Sin-ae. Apparently, your father's legal wife had difficulty conceiving.

Taemin even thought that he and his wife would never have children. This was when he decided to be with Jung Jiwoo, Hoseok's mother. Just like your mother, Jiwoo fell into Taemin's trap.

Taemin debated if he should break up with Sin-ae after finding out that Jiwoo was pregnant. He almost did, but fate was cruel because just as when Taemin’s about to divorce his wife, he found out she was pregnant too.

Jiwoo accepted her fate. Unlike your mother, she wasn't demanding. She was content with the fact that Taemin treated Hoseok well. His eldest son was his favorite.

Things only changed when Taemin decided to form a professional corporation with his best friend Jong-in. He rarely visited Hoseok. He started prioritizing the company and his new mistress.

Jiwoo didn't mind. In fact, she even invested in the firm as well. Just like your mother, Jiwoo also saw potential in the business. She knew it would grow and become one of the best architectural firms.

Jiwoo invested for the sake of her son. She wanted him to have a good future, especially because it appeared like Hoseok was into architecture as well.

Hoseok was actually one of the first architects to work at Castle. He helped the company grow. Taemin saw the fruit of Hoseok's labor and even made a promise to make his eldest son his successor.

It was all lies though. Taemin felt guilty when Sin-ae broke down and found out about you. He realized he couldn't break her heart more so he decided not to tell his wife and children about Hoseok.

Taemin died without revealing the truth about his eldest son.

"Is that why you want to take down the Kims?" You winced after he told you the truth. "Because you hate our father? Because he didn't include you in his will?"

Your heart dropped to your stomach. How cruel. You honestly thought Hoseok was like you. You thought he just wanted to belong. To be loved...But it appeared like he was blinded by revenge.

"I don't hate our father." Hoseok scoffed, offended that you thought he was the kind of person who would bring down the people who were important to the person he hated. "He's an ass, but he loved me. I can't say for sure about you though."

Ouch.

You avoided his gaze because what he said hurt. Hoseok seemed to realize the impact of his words because his face turned pale.

"I-I don't mean it like that." He did. "I mean...I don't know." Hoseok conceded since he didn't really know what he was talking about.

He couldn't talk on behalf of his father. He could only talk about his observation.

"I think...father loved you." His voice was barely a whisper, like he was ashamed to say this to you. "Just not in the way you should be loved."

Hoseok pursed his lips. His eyes glistened with dejection.

"Because you deserve so much more, my lovely sister..."

You felt his stare through your soul. It hurt.

It hurt to think that you found someone who was going through the same thing as you. It just hurt that even when you're basically on the same page, you're still so different.

Taemin loved him more than he loved you.

But why? Weren't you deserving of his love?

"If I deserve so much more, then why do people treat me like this?" You choked back a sob.

You didn't mean to break down like this. You were so tired of appearing vulnerable in front of people. Why did it feel like they always have the upper hand?

It's not fair.

"Because you let them." Your heart broke into a thousand pieces after hearing Hoseok's response.

"So it's my fault?" You couldn't help it. Tears trickled down your face. It's like you had been slapped.

"There's no other way to put it." Hoseok was remorseful but not really. "Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with you. You're full of love, I get it, but not everyone is like you. You can't expect them to be nice to you just because you're nice to them."

He paused for a second just to stare into your eyes. He looked desperate—desperate to make you understand.

"Some people...They're very entitled, you know? They feel like they can do whatever they want with you since they're conditioned to think you wouldn't mind."

You understood that, but Hoseok wasn't truthful. He was wrong to say there's nothing wrong with you.

There was.

People took advantage of you because you let them. That's your mistake.

He intended to help you correct it.

"But you have to mind it. Their horns will only grow if you don't deter them from hurting you. Before you know it, it's not just you who's getting hurt—"

Hoseok let out a deep breath.

"—it's everyone." He bit his lower lip. "Everyone is suffering because of the Kims and I want to put an end to it."

You watched as his expression hardened.

"You're the only one who can help me."

Despite Hoseok's revelation of the truth, you still didn't understand why he wanted the Kims to suffer.

He figured it's best if he showed you the evidence instead of just talking about it. Hoseok wasn't dumb. He knew you loved the Kims, especially Soojin. You might be tired of their bullshit; however, it didn't mean you would be happy to see them in pain.

Unless he gave you valid reasons.

"You think you can spare me some time? I'd like to tell you more things." Your eldest brother enquired.

You were still inside his office here at Castle. An hour had passed since he shared that he was also Taemin's son.

"Uh...yeah. I think so." Jungkook was supposed to pick you up. He told you to send him a message when you're done meeting the Kims and Taemin's executors.

You appreciated Jungkook's attempt to comfort you. He's always there to help you, but it looked like you wouldn't be able to meet with him today or any time soon. Definitely not when you had to fix so many things.

Hoseok ended up bringing you to his apartment. He showed you things you didn't even know were real.

"Here's the original copy of the documents related to the construction of the building in Myeong-dong."

You weren't sure why Architect Jung was showing you these documents when he should be handing it to the authorities. All of this information was related to the building that collapsed weeks ago. The investigation was still continuous and the management of Castle was going through a rough time.

"I know this is a lot to take in, but I'm not sure how else to convince you that I'm not the bad person here." Hoseok saw the way you looked at him when he claimed he wanted to destroy the Kims.

You didn't believe in revenge. You knew at the end of the day it's not going to be as fulfilling as what you thought it would be. What would you gain if you hurt people who hurt you?

Satisfaction? Yeah, and so? Would it change the fact that you got hurt?

"Take a look in that document. There's the original blueprint of the building. Kim Soojin designed it. She's actually the one leading the construction of the building, not our father."

The words escaping Hoseok's mouth weren't registering in your mind. Your whole attention was focused on the documents in your quivering hand.

Just like what Hoseok wanted you to do, you took a look at the document. Your brows snapped together, lips parting because of shock.

It hadn't struck you yet that the sole reason why the tragic accident happened was because of Soojin.

Accident.

By definition, an accident meant an event that happened unintentionally. Just by looking at your sister's design, you could already tell that an accident would definitely happen. Soojin was a professional. She was a licensed architect. How could she not know this wouldn't lead to death, injuries, and damages?

The building was poorly designed. It's like aesthetics were prioritized rather than safety. It's frustrating to see this. Hoseok also told you Soojin wanted the building to be constructed immediately so she designed it using inferior materials. It was easier to obtain these materials since it could be delivered the same day you ordered it.

This was unlike Soojin. She usually preferred ordering high-quality materials to the point where the budget set for her projects resulted in a deficit. She incurred a lot of cost whenever she accepted a workload.

"She's planning to join this international competition that's why she rushed the construction of the building." Hoseok explained, causing you to shake your head.

This was ridiculous. Soojin wasn't that dumb to compromise the safety of people just to win, right? She's better than that.

"I don't believe this." You practically shoved the documents back to your brother. This was a difficult pill to swallow.

You felt like everything you knew about your sister were all lies. She had a temper, yes. She was a brat, yes. But she was smart. She was a good architect. Or were you just convincing yourself?

"S-Soojin isn't like this." You wheezed, making Hoseok heave a deep sigh.

"Isn't she?"

You thought people only experienced life flashing before their eyes when they're on the brink of death, but as Hoseok asked this question to you, every memory you had with Soojin flashed in your mind, like it was telling you to not just look but see.

"But she's so kind to me." You deflated.

Hoseok looked at you with sympathy. Or was it pity? He pitied you because you were blinded by the idea of wanting to belong.

"She really did a good job manipulating you, huh?" Hoseok grimaced, wondering if he was at fault too.

He knew about you. Taemin talked about you. It's actually one of the reasons why Hoseok chose to stay at Castle. It's not simply because he had interest in becoming the next chairperson. He wanted to look after you too.

Was he too late? Why didn't he reach out to you?

"S-She did not manipulate me." Even in your own ears, you sounded pathetic. Why did you keep denying the truth? Deep down, you were sure Hoseok was right.

"She did." Your brother continued to insist. "A lot of times. You just misunderstood the meaning of manipulation because she did it so kindly."

There were two kinds of manipulation.

One was when a person used intimidation or violence to manipulate another being into doing something.

Most of the time, the people who had been coerced ended up hating the one who manipulated them.

This was the case with your mother. It took you long to admit that you hated her. For the longest time, you told yourself you loved her because at the end of the day, she was still your mother.

But she hurt you and abused you, so you started to hate her.

The other type of manipulation was when a person used kindness to get what they wanted. This was what Soojin did. She made you feel like you belonged, like she loved you—this was why you didn't hate her.

You loved her.

Acting like you’re kind was the easiest way to make people believe you're a good person. However being kind and being good were two different things. You just failed to see that.

"If you still don't believe me, then stay with me for a while. I'll show you everything you need to know."

There's something about the way Hoseok said these words that made you agree. You stayed at his place for days, refusing to go back to Jungkook's apartment no matter how many times he tried to reach you.

You couldn't afford to be distracted right now. Jungkook was a distraction. Every time you saw him, all you wanted to do was drop everything and just be happy with him.

Love shouldn't be your priority at the moment. You had to unveil the truth first.

Fortunately, you did.

Hoseok didn't stop providing evidence. You didn't know how he managed to talk to some employees who apparently knew about the real reason why the building collapsed.

Your heart was divided into two. A big part of you believed that Soojin failed and blamed her mistakes to Taemin, the other part of you still chose to trust her. This seemed to frustrate Hoseok because days after providing you legit evidence, he said he couldn't do it anymore.

"You clearly trust your sister. What if you heard the truth from her?" Hoseok furrowed his brows, irritated.

You gulped, heart beating fast.

"Okay," but you agreed because as stated, you knew deep down that evidence didn't lie.

You got what you wanted and Hoseok felt like he could finally breathe.

"You believe me now?" Your brother folded his hands over his chest. A sigh of relief escaped his lips upon seeing you nod your head at once.

The evidence you were looking for was hearing the truth coming from Soojin. You heard her admit the truth when she and Sin-ae were at the columbarium.

"There's nothing holding you back this time?" He pressed.

You nodded again, this time, you were more determined as you clenched your fist and gritted your teeth.

"Nothing..."

This was the story that unfolded days ago. Right now, you were standing behind Hoseok here at the conference room in Castle.

Everyone anticipated your move. They watched you deliver that shocking news. It was oddly satisfying—to watch the surprise staining their face.

Sin-ae clearly wanted to lash out on everyone, unfortunately she couldn't use the 'this is impossible' card because before she could even breathe, the evidence was provided to every person in the meeting.

Mr. Han and the other shareholders had a smug look on their faces. They weren't bothered that Hoseok wasn't carrying Taemin's last name. What's important to them was that now they had a better option.

Anyone was obviously better than having Soojin as the next chairperson.

"H-How do we know you didn't fabricate the result?" Sin-ae desperately groaned as she glared at Hoseok. This was bad. So fucking bad. "My husband is dead!"

Your father's wife was arguing that Taemin was cremated. She firmly believed that the result had been tampered.

This belief of hers had been shattered when Namjoon interjected the conversation. He stood up, gaze focused on his wailing mother. Sin-ae was hurt. Of course she was. She just found out that her late husband cheated on her more than once.

She couldn't help but wonder if there's something wrong with her. Just like you, she was insecure. Wasn't she enough?

"The result is not fabricated, mother." Namjoon started. Eyes so soft that it broke Sin-ae more. "Architect Jung Hoseok is my father's son too. I helped prove it."

Your eyes widened upon hearing that. Shit. You thought you're the only one who had revelation to make today. Who would have thought that one of your siblings would do something like this?

"Hoseok-hyung and I requested a sibling DNA test. The file in front of you will show you the result."

"If Mr. Jung Hoseok is also entitled to legitime, shouldn't you be discussing this in court?" One of the shareholders raised his concern.

You turned to that shareholder.

"You don't have to worry about that, Mr. Kang. My brother's share in our father's estate has been settled. I transferred my shares in this company to him."

"You did not!" Soojin seethed after a long moment of silence on her part. She was glaring at you like you betrayed her.

It used to crush your soul, but seeing her today didn't make you feel anything. You stared back at your sister impassively.

Her face was crimson, eyes growing big and hands balling into fists. She looked like she could kill you.

"She did." Hoseok interjected, shooting your sister a taunting smile. Hoseok was seated right across Soojin. He could see her nostrils flaring. "I am this firm's major shareholder. Right, Architect Jeon?"

It was made known to everyone in this room that Jungkook sold his share to Hoseok. This only drove Soojin and her mother more vexed.

They were seeing red.

Soojin started throwing things. She angrily pushed all things she saw on the long table, shouting and blaming you for ruining her chance to become the next chairperson.

"Bold of you to assume you still have a chance to run this firm when you're nothing but trash." You surprised yourself when you said this.

Soojin too. Sin-ae, Seokjin, and basically everyone gaped at you. Your blank face was all they saw though. You were getting bolder now. It wasn't easy, but you found courage every time you thought about the bereaved families of the victims of Soojin's incompetence.

"What did you just say to me?" Her face flushed, heartbeat increasing because of hatred and disbelief. She wanted to scratch your face and drag you to hell.

You were a fucking bitch.

"Don't play dumb with me, Kim Soojin. You know what I'm talking about." Your shoulders squared as you lifted your chin. "Or would you rather I show everyone in this room the evidence you thought you already got rid of?"

For a second Soojin looked like she had a smart retort, but her face turned white when she heard your question.

It's the same expression she had when she saw you at the columbarium many days ago. Fear was never a good look on Soojin. Because unlike you, she wasn't used to feeling this way.

She always won, always got what she wanted. But not this time.

Definitely not this time.

"What is this all about?" Mr. Kang puckered his lips, unamused as he stated his opinion. He said he didn't have time for family drama.

"This isn't drama, Mr. Kang. This issue concerned all of you." You didn't waste any more time. "Castle is going through a rough time now because of the accident that occurred in Myeong-dong. I know the investigation is still on-going and we're all tensed as to how this will affect us, especially because you all believe the culprit is my father. But—"

"No!" Soojin and her mother tried to stop you, but the shareholders were done with them. They said they'd kick out Soojin and Sin-ae if they didn't act professionally.

This was a corporate meeting. It didn't take a genius that one should be in their best behavior.

You continued.

"The building collapsed not because of Kim Taemin but because of Architect Kim Soojin. She led the construction of it. I have here all the written evidence." You nodded your head at your father's former secretary, silently asking to flash the evidence on the projector. Some employees proceeded to hand out the same copy of documents Hoseok showed you before, the one that would prove that your claims were real.

"And before you accused us of fabricating the results, well then, it won't be warranted. We have corroborated with the employees who worked with Architect Kim Soojin regarding this construction. They were bribed with money, but through persuasion, we have convinced them to take the moral high ground."

You elucidated that these coerced employees were willing to take the stand during Soojin's trial—yes, after all she had done, you were certain that Castle and the law would hold her accountable.

It's evident by the way the shareholders and the board reacted with the news. They still gave Soojin an option though: either go to the station on her own or the management would be forced to call the authorities right now.

"She'll turn herself in." It wasn't Soojin who decided this. It was Seokjin. Your brother was looking at you as he said this.

His face was void of any emotion. It caused your heart to skip a beat, wondering if Seokjin hated you even more now.

He didn't speak during the meeting. He remained frozen on his spot, just sternly watching the scene unfold in front of him. Another thought popped inside your head: did he know about Hoseok too? Namjoon did.

"What are you saying, oppa!? I'm not—” Soojin protested but Seokjin shook his head, wrapping his arms around your sister's shoulder and pulling her into his chest.

Seokjin whispered something to Soojin. No one heard it except your sister and probably Sin-ae who was standing close to her children.

Whatever Seokjin said to your sister worked because she stopped trembling and protesting. She stayed close to him though, face still buried on Seokjin's chest.

The vice chairperson was talking to Seokjin, probably about the criminal case. You watched as Hoseok and Namjoon joined the conversation. There were other shareholders trying to pry more information out of the Kims.

You were on the far corner of the room, observing them.

The conversation went on for about five minutes before you saw Seokjin walking away, gently holding his sister's hand and taking her with him.

Namjoon and Sin-ae followed them. Your brother spared you a glance.

You shuddered at his stare even though it's not cold. It's the usual way Namjoon looked at you, no emotion but like...he knew something you didn't. It always made you uncomfortable.

Even until now.

Luckily, Jungkook was here to make it all better. You felt his hand wrapping around your shoulder tightly. Just like what Seokjin did to Soojin, your best friend pulled you closer to him.

Your knee jerk reaction was to lean your head against his shoulder.

Jungkook smiled sincerely even though you couldn't see his face. You watched Namjoon walk away as Jungkook whispered "it's going to be okay, Tiger," in your ears.

His voice was so soft and gentle that you were compelled to believe that yes, everything will be okay soon.

this chapter is inspired by the quote I saw somewhere: if you demonized the demons, you’re the demon.

Ah. Two chapters left! How do we feel? I was shocked to see your reactions from the last chapter! The twist there is written on a whim 😭 I hope I didn’t disappoint you with this update! 🥺

I haven’t edited this. Please don’t mind the errors.

#jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #armywriterssupport #jungkook romance #jungkook series #jungkook fic #jjk #bts jeon jungkook #jungkook best friend #best friend jungkook #jungkook best friends to lovers #jungkook friends to lovers

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book-o-scams · 3 years

Text

Ed, Edd n Eddy Series Bible (1996) -Analysis-

You can all finally read/download Ed, Edd n Eddy's official Series Bible right here! Thanks again to Chuckletons for sharing this with me and to Joey/Kongiscool0518 for sharing it in the first place, the Holy Grail of lost Ed, Edd n Eddy trivia!

One of the first posts I made for this blog was the Series Bible page. It was a composite of every source we had ever seen reference the series bible so far-- storyboarders in interviews, CN's old character guides, and the biggest source, an old CN UK posting about the show. Well, I figure now that we have the official source, I better update the old page (so everyone knows it's out of date), and make this new Series Bible post using the official source! Not much new information, but I was intrigued to finally learn the true phrasings of some things we had only heard paraphrased, as well as at least one detail from the movie that I couldn't believe came up this early in conception...

Unfortunately, Tumblr has apparently updated its post system to only let me add 10 images? Gonna try and only use images for what I need since you can read the actual document above, I guess I'll transcribe it too for easier reference and so we don't ever lose some archive of this.

Quickly, let's review what a series bible is:

A series bible is how creators pitch shows to networks. They can be called “pitch bibles” as well. Bibles do not usually get posted publicly, because they are initially under a strict Non-Disclosure Agreement by the network; also the creator may simply not wish to share it because it reflects the earliest stages of development.

The pitch materials typically include early concepts for characters, locations and episodes. Sometimes it exposes secrets, in this case, Ed and Eddy’s home lives, and sometimes the stuff in it is completely abandoned because it’s so early in production, in this case, casual references to school and adults.

Alright, everybody, it's time to gather 'round and read the Ed, Edd n Eddy Bible!

THE YEAR IS 1996.

YOUR NAME IS LINDA SIMENSKY. YOU WORK AT CARTOON NETWORK. A FRIEND OF YOURS, DANNY ANTONUCCI, IS WRAPPING UP A SHOW ON MTV. YOU GET THIS FAX.

Linda Simensky immediately fell in love with this concept because as a child, she was best friends with 2 other Lindas for seemingly no reason other than the shared name.

I love how Danny decided last second to pencil in the correct names over each Ed, since they're arranged out of title-order.

"They're friends because they have the same name."

-the Logline for the series.

Fun fact: one storyboard artist for the movie observed that the movie is essentially all about challenging the series' original notion that the Eds are friends ONLY because of their name.

"A Danny Antonucci Cartuna"

-the label Danny used to use under announcements of new productions.

PAGE 1:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

They're best friends because they have the same name.

A gag laden, beat generated CARTOON bumper car ride of 3 misfit youths on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America.

Through summer vacation, part-time jobs, or just hang'n out at the corner mail box, they want to belong....but CAN'T.

From home chores, helping neighbors or eating jaw breakers, they want to fit in...but CAN'T.

Ed is into "B" monster movies, model kits and is quick to break out into rashes.

Lots of luck...

Edd is into chemistry, biology and prone to crushes.

Later...

Eddy is into pranks, is stylish and flaunts himself to the world.

Ya Right...

Ed, Edd n Eddy is a show about confusion and contradiction, that awkward part of youth, pimples, big feet, oily hair and... girls???.

Puberty is unforgiving.

I was fascinated by the lack of art on this page, it makes the pitch feel very focused. AKA logo in the corner, the title logo again up top, then the logline appears again below.

I really love the breakdown of Danny's vision of the show. "Gag-laden, beat-generated, CARTOON bumper ride." Very accurate, and I think "beat-generated" is the phrase that interests me the most. I typically think of "animation beats" as sort of a give-in-- technically all things fit a rhythm, so all stories are essentially just a montage of beats. But this does make me realize how important the strength of the beats and their rhythm are to the pacing of a cartoon and making you feel like "that was a good one." I feel like the "seasonal rot" viewers feel over the course of a show, and the way that perception differs from person to person, depends on the type of beats you want. Even though I am very into the experimental beats of a show in its later seasons, I can definitely see how season 1's beats are more typically appealing to a wide-audience, and how important a focus on that is to the longevity of a show.

I found it really interesting how the scams are initially conceived of here as "summer jobs." It adds to the sense that adults were originally meant to be present. Honestly a little surprised nobody with access to this bible had ever thought to mention that-- scams are not referenced ANYWHERE. Their image in the Series Bible is that they have summer jobs and help neighbors, which is certainly a much cleaner reputation than the Eds ended up with in the show. Makes me realize though, were some of the early scams, like Ed's Hive Bee Gone and their newspaper routes, supposed to be leaning into this early idea of them with almost legit jobs for unseen adults?

I was very amused by the repeated phrase that the Eds simply CAN'T fit in.

Loved to finally see the official phrasing for the confirmation that Peach Creek is in America. Not much different than I was led to believe, but still nice to have the true quote.

Also love Eddy being described as "stylish and flaunting himself to the world." The bold-print reactions to each micro-description is a cute idea too, I truly wonder who we were meant to picture saying those things in reaction. Each Ed? Kevin?

The "corner mail box" is an oddly specific phrase-- the Eds do hang around mailboxes throughout the series, especially seasons 1-3, and I believe the canon map does have a corner mailbox, but the idea that the Eds hang out at one specific mailbox went the way of Bro's supposed secret treehouses.

PAGE 2:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

Show Description

Gag laden. True cartoon style, inventive, non parody, fast paced, stretch and squash

Beat driven. (even when characters stop they hold with a bounce cycle. Adults never bounce. Music can play important part, not just fill.) But not a musical.

Cartoon surrealism. (viewers see the show as Ed, Edd n Eddy would, less important things tend to blend into the background, while objects of Ed, Edd n Eddy's desires are focused. Premise driven.)

The school year's over, (yeah!!!!) and the long HOT summer vacation begins (gulp). What to do?

Stuck on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America is the last place you want to spend summer break, especially when you find life confusing and contradicting.

Ed, Edd n Eddy is about friendship, and serves to remind us that they're no "good ole days," just smelly runners.

You can tackle anything, when your with your pals.

Their days are spent, for knowledge, acceptance and some cash for jaw breakers. Armed with pimples, big feet and oily hair the three amigos trek into the unknown.

Ed, Edd n Eddy are dying to be grown-ups, but they're kids, and attack adulthood as only kids would. Simple situations turn into a manic rollercoaster ride. (Don't forget your barf bag).

They just want to belong, and they're willing to pull off any insane stunt to prove it. First they need to figure out what it is they want to belong to.

Found it interesting that on this page, the show's logo is replaced with the title written in a jumbled font. Seems like the font from the show's end credits.

Hehe, the continued reactions to the descriptions. Allow me to be Double D for a moment and point out the increased use of parentheticals on this page, as well as one wrong "your".

I love Danny's insight that season 1 is framed by the context of how hyped everyone still is just to be out of school, but also the sense of pressure to make use of their break.

I really appreciate Danny getting further into the details of his summary of the show's style on the previous page. It only makes sense that he had this much of a vision that early.

A second confirmation of the cul-de-sac being in America! I'm also really into the repeated focus on the Eds finding the world "contradicting." I always loved how EEnE's inexplicable cartoon antics supported that sense that the Eds are highly aware of contradictions in both societal things and the actual characters.

WOW, so I'm fascinated by this dual reveal. Before the wiggling outlines, which Danny usually calls a "boiling line" and describes as a tribute to wiggling inking in early animation, the series bible instead refers to him wanting the characters to do the iconic Fleischer "bounce," which is a much more commonly recognized rubberhose animation technique. Very interesting that Danny decided not to stick to that. Did it feel too out of place? Or was the overseas team not willing to animate a weight-shifting for every single held pose? Haha, guess I can see why boiling was an easier compromise. I wonder if he had any other ideas for how to make it more of a 1930s cartoon.

The other reveal to me here is that the movie's choice, that adults don't always wiggle in the show, was an idea from the very beginning! I guess I can better understand now why it's just too difficult to communicate a stylistic choice like that overseas-- no point making Bro not wiggle, that'd just create confusion.

Also, really disappointed that my wish for a musical is officially squashed in the series bible itself. That's a tragedy. The show's over, ya couldn't let me dream, Danny!? Conversely, I love Danny's forethought to say "non parody," I definitely noticed and appreciated EEnE's avoidance of derivative parody humor.

My spouse had to point out to me that Danny probably means sneakers here, lol. Canadianisms!

The comments about the Eds wanting to grow up but needing to figure out what they want to belong to are so great and relate to the movie so well. I've heard those comments before, but the correct phrasing was cool to see.

PAGE 3:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Ed in right corner)

Character Description

Attention deficiency syndrome.

He has trouble...

He can't....um...

OK, he draws all day in class.

When Eddy gets a bright idea...Ed's in.

Ed is easily talked into doing Eddy's "hard work". He has great physical strength.

Ed's happiest with his Model kits and B-monster movies. He draws his knowledge from his movies.

Ed smells. Flies are attracted to him.

Ed has sayings for all situations

ED: "you can change your shirt, and Bingo was his name..."

Ed's perpetually a slave to his younger sister's whims and whines.

Ed may have to baby-sit his sister, or let her watch whatever she wants on TV, or let her dress him up in mom's clothes.

Ed breaks out in Rashes. He's allergic to practically everything, especially Guinea Pigs.

Ed's Mom xerox's his sketches and doodles for her therapist.

Ed's Dad hopes to pass on to his son, his knowledge on "pre-owned" auto sales.

Very cute bit wasting the space at the top of the page. Danny seems very invested in Ed's personality already. The old sources we used to have definitely tried to condense these down to simpler blurbs.

Weird how Danny wants to essentially diagnose Ed with ADHD here (phrasing it very poorly, but it was the 90s and... Canada?). I don't know enough on the subject to debate it, but I still gotta point out Ed's canonical cracked skull!

Interested in the comment about Ed being most allergic to Guinea Pigs. I don't think that animal was ever even mentioned in the show. Eddy mentioned an old gerbil once....

Neat to finally have the real phrasing of the official word on Ed's parents! I saw someone comment earlier that this seems to be hinting Ed's Dad is selling stolen cars. I've never thought to question the legality of his apparent second-hand-car dealership (I imagined he works with Eddy's dad, who has received a legitimate award for his salesmanship), but those quotation marks are certainly making Mr. Ed's practices questionable! Best case scenario, Danny meant that more like italics or something, but maybe Ed's dad IS up to no good...

PAGES 4 & 5 (Ed's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 6:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Edd in right corner)

Character Description

Edd

is really smart.

is really quiet.

Edd is unnaturally-- polite.

Edd hasn't been allowed to take gym ever since the Dodge ball incident. He's been excused to free study time in the library.

Edd doesn't like it when people touch his things.

EDD: "You may enter in my room, but don't touch my Lego robot. Thank you."

Edd's learning to play Peddle steel guitar. (his Mom makes him)

Edd's prone to "crushes". Girls in School, in his neighborhood, TV, anatomy books. He mails "true loves" his socks.

Edd is always ready for action, even though he can calculate the implications.

Edd constantly mumbles.

No one ever sees Edd's parents. They both work nights. They communicate to their son solely through Post-it notes. Edd's not allowed to touch anything in the house while they're gone. Anything.

Interesting how Danny slightly differentiates the barely-used space at the top here from Ed's description, to characterize Edd as more quiet and mumbly, adding an awkward "--" mid-sentence, perhaps to create the impression that Edd halts to choose words carefully.

Everything on this page feels familiar, from the character guides and other old sources. The most interesting thing to me here is that Edd's Mom forcing him to practice Pedal Steel Guitar is established this early, don't think I knew that, but I had noticed that it existed in his room from ep 1.

I love how the explanation in the beginning for why Edd goes along with their dumb schemes even though he's smart is basically just "he's always ready for action." ?!? I guess in a way???

That weirdly phrased Edd quote amuses me because it references Lego, just like the original concept background for his room before somebody nixed the copyright-namedrop.

Edd's prone to crushes thing has been reaffirmed over and over in character bios even though it really doesn't come up outside of the cupid magic in HPH and the pilot-episode heart eyes at Sarah that are barely canon. Still, I've always loved the truly disturbing statement that he mails "his true loves his socks" and how that managed to make it into canon with a comic book example, a cel animation example and a digital era example.

PAGES 7 & 8 (Edd's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 9:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Eddy in right corner)

Character Description

Eddy

Exhibitionist.

Megalomaniac. (quote from his report card)

Eddy is the unofficial leader of the trio.

He's always got a plan, a stunt or a weird noise.

Eddy's the "class clown". He loves showing off. He loves being the centre of attention-- no matter how stupid the reason is.

Eddy is the only kid in his grade to have been expelled for aw hole week from school. It was his turn to set up the video for science class. He switched "Our Friend Yeast", for a video he "borrowed" from his parent's room.

Before Eddy's brother went....away, he enlightened Eddy with the "legends" of the neighbourhood. Eddy knows where all the abandoned tree houses are, which sewer pipers are safe to spelunk, and the secret recipe for the "El Mongo Stink Bomb" (it's been in the family for years).

He is the one who is most able to pretend that he knows it all... and doesn't care what anyone else thinks about him.

His genes are working the fastest.

Eddy's Dad is constantly concerned that Eddy may grow up to be a ...figure skater.

Eddy's Mom never believes his little darling was involved in such a heinous act.

Funny choice that Eddy's wasted-top-space is just two one-word descriptions, and allegedly lazily swiped from his negative report card.

Wow, we knew the report card quote and the "Our Friend Yeast" story from the UK show guide, but now we also know Ed's page says that Ed draws in class, and now I realize that Ed and Eddy have series bible school blurbs to match Edd's classic dodgeball incident blurb. Anyway, it's great that Eddy's showed his entire school some sort of sex video his parents have.

Very interested that the phrasing for the Bro/El Mongo Stink Bomb blurb even seems to suggest it's a family recipe. Eddy's Dad did have prankster stuff in his closet in JJJ... did Bro learn his prankster ways from Dad?? The neighborhood's secret tree houses have come up in other descriptions (at best, I'd say this could be related to that creepy shack the Eds found in the woods), but I think it's new info that Eddy personally learned the sewer routes from Bro. Interesting...

Thankfully, I had already heard about the Bible's awkward reference to Eddy being the most pubescent as "his genes are working the fastest," lmao.

Once again the Double D in me comes out to point out that the description of Eddy's Mom seems to switch to the Dad's pronouns.

PAGES 10 & 11 (Eddy's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGES 12-14 (Sarah, Jimmy, Rolf, Jonny, Nazz, and Kevin lineup of all 6, then 2 zoomed in lineups of the first 3 kids and last 3 kids)

(Funfact: the kids' designs were allegedly freelanced to an outside studio, hence why their refined later-season designs are so different from these lizardy starting places, lmao)

PAGE 15: (images of Sarah and Jimmy next to their blurbs)

SARAH

Ed's baby Sister.

It's her way or the Highway.

She has everything done for her, if NOT she'll "make" them do it.

She can be quick to judge.

Whinney.

A tatrum for every occasion.

More than a handful for Ed...or Edd and Eddy.

Thinks Edd is kinda cute.

Wants Eddy to MOVE...to another planet.

JIMMY

Sarah's best friend

He is always playing with girls, boys are just too tough.

He is accident prone, when ever we see him he has a different affliction, ie: band-aids, patches, casts, lumps...etc.

He is very clean.

The Ed's frighten him, "They're such brutes".

I'm surprised how much of the UK guide was accurate to what was really in the bible for them! Also surprised Danny misspelled "whiney" and "tantrum," one right after the other. Is this how Sarah spells them? ...Sorry, Danny, I yam what I yam.

PAGE 16: (images of Rolf and Jonny next to their blurbs)

ROLF

First generation of a landed immigrant family.

Nationality not important.

He's proud of his heritage.

He has peculiar traditions and/or customs.

He eats "weird" things.

He has hair on his back..... "yuck".

He confuses the Ed's to no end.

He confuses the other kids to no end.

JONNY 2x4

He is a wanderer and very inquisitive

From early morning to supper time, he is always outside playing, with his buddy, "Plank".

"Plank" is a wooden board that Jonny drew a face on with a crayon.

Jonny has wonderful conversations with Plank. ...Plank is a piece of wood.

Jonny makes himself very "accessible" to the Ed's.

Found it interesting that Rolf's bio is less clearly phrased than the UK bio set it up to be-- there they made it sound more like he mixes up who the Eds/kids are, here it's unclear whether it means that or (more likely) just means the obvious statement that everyone finds him confusing. If it's that, what a lame hollow bio Rolf got. This kid's based on you Danny, show some of that personal side!

Always loved Jonny's description, his life sounds so cute. Playing outside literally all day. Interesting to have it confirmed that Jonny drew Plank's face, I preferred to think the Eds drew him and sold him to Jonny, but whatever.

"Accessible" has always been an important vague description of Jonny to me. It really only applies to how chummy they could be with him in season 1, but it still sorta applies to his personality throughout the series as well.

PAGE 17: (images of Nazz and Kevin next to their blurbs)

NAZZ

She's cool, calm and assertive.

She is the most matured of the kids, or so she thinks.

She's into make-up and fashion magazines and Boys.

Sarah thinks she's awesome, wants to be just like her when she grows up.

When she enters a scene, all activity stops... boys freeze, they sweat, their hearts beat faster and faster. They lose their ability to talk. When she leaves, they recover and conclude it was something They ate.

She thinks the Ed's are funny.

KEVIN

He is cynical and sarcastic.

He thinks he knows the "routine". That's because he watches "60 Minutes".

It got a big laugh out of me that Kevin's description is only 2 sentences long. Nazz even has a more detailed character description from inception than Kevin. Love this for them.

Who's the Eds' rival? Well, he's cynical, sarcastic and he watches 60 Minutes, doesn't that tell you enough!?

I love the "mature... or so she thinks" remark about Nazz, a grounded flaw for her to have, being a little overcommitted to being mature like Eddy. It also perhaps suggests naiveté that makes it a little more reasonable that they didn't notice they were dumbing her down at the end of the series, but I do think the movie version of her better reflects the Bible's concept.

PAGE 18:

The Other Neighborhood Kids

Lineup of May, Lee and Marie.

The Kanker Sisters

These gals are tough. They bother, bully, provoke and bewilder everyone.

They live in a motor home park on the other side of the Cul-de-sac. The other kids have never been there.

They are proud of their Tammy Faye Baker memorabilia.

Their project "Cooking with Ketchup" closed down their school for a whole week.

No one likes them, especially the Eds.

They are determined to marry the Eds. They want them to do their dishes.

Amused that the Kankers are essentially being labeled backgrounds characters here, the role they mostly fell into in season 5. "Other" neighborhood kids...

I love that the Kankers have a school blurb to match each of the Eds', and that theirs has similar destructive-intentions to Eddy's video premiere story.

I believe all of this was all known from the UK guide as well, but still, neat stuff!

PAGES 19 & 20 (zoomed in Kanker lineup and their height chart with the Eds)

PAGES 21 & 22 (early promo art that used to be on CN's old Eds webpage, the art of the Eds eating jawbreakers at the end of ep 1 with the overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy love JAWBREAKERS!!!", and the art of the Eds all running with overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy see something shiny...."Jiggers." That weird "jiggers" statement at the end was normally edited out and I don't know what it means. Looked it up and it seems to be Chinook jargon (like when Ed said he was "skookum at X's and O's") usually said in the same sense as "CHEESE IT!")

PAGES 23+:

The rest of the pages in that bible download are from a 2004 storyboard test. The storyboard sample "It's Raining Eds," which we've seen some submitted samples of before, interpretations with Ed attempting to fly or chew gum and Edd making radioactive gum, I was surprised to find out the outline is just the original outline for the opening sequence to season 3's 'For Your Eds Only', seemingly Jonny was not written into the original outline (or was excised for easier testing purposes) but Kevin's brief cameo was. Now I wonder if they knew this would be used for a test when they wrote it, and if they would've come up with a less random way to include him if weren't forced to be a concise bit for testing's sake. (Your limit is typically 40 storyboard pages in my experience.)

I also noticed that in the included background references, the anonymous adult neighbor house next door to Ed's is officially just referred to as a "generic house."

My analysis ends here, but be sure to download that sometime and enjoy all the raw storyboard sketches at the end of the document!

#ed edd n eddy #series bible #aka cartoon inc #aka cartoon #discovery #eene news

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txemrn · 3 years

Text

Happy (belated) Mother's Day! Book: TNA Warning: THIS IS PURE SELF-INDULGENCE! I decided to take some time and a) make Sam Dalton lovely and b) not kill off a certain handsome king; but fair warning, this is filled with fluffity-fluff-fluff with smidges of angst; discussion of infertility and maternal loss Song Inspiration: "We Thought You'd Be Here" by Wes King A/N: This is part of the Schuyler-Dalton Chronicles (Check out "Once... Always..." the mini-series that started it all); the characters belong to Pixelberry; I stole a quote from one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time 🎄; I am not perfect: I take full responsibility for all of my spelling and grammatical mistakes; I'm hoping you can ignore them and enjoy the story! 💗

Before the brilliant rays of the Sunday morning sun could greet the New York City skyline, Brynn stares aimlessly at the vaulted ceiling of the master suite. Although she physically craves rest, the clattering commotion of her congested thoughts keep her restless and exhausted.

Frustrated with her inability to calm her nerves, she quietly crawls out of bed, being careful not to disturb her peacefully sleeping husband. She retrieves his discarded pinstripe button-up shirt from the floor, and wraps it around her exposed body. After snatching her phone from the nightstand, she tip-toes cautiously across the wooden floor to the ensuite bathroom.

Staring at her abdomen in the mirror, the all-too-familiar excitement laced with sheer dread latches heavily onto her heart. Her breathing labors, loudly thundering in her ears; a sour uneasiness pours through her nerves, settling on her queasy stomach. She tenderly cradles her belly. Her fingers brush across the flattened contours of her healthy physique until they rest curiously on two tiny, flesh-colored scars: the remnants of a pregnancy that simply wasn't meant to be.

"Are you there, little one?" She whispers hopefully. She endearingly hugs her tummy once more fighting back tears from the painful emptiness she has felt many times before.

But, maybe this time was different.

Brynn turns to her digital calendar to ensure that this wasn't in vain, that there was a reason she was doing this today of all days.

She clicks her tongue on the side of her mouth. "The first day… that was the third," she mumbles to herself, "which makes today... one, two, three, ah! Four days late."

She fills a crystal tumbler with water before locking herself into their opulent water closet. Taking one last massive swallow of the room temperature fluid, she tears into the bright pink box. Without giving it another thought, she tosses the printed directions and plastic wrappers into the wastebasket as she places the apparatus between her legs. She knows the routine; this is far from her first pregnancy test.

Before Sam and Brynn married four years ago, the discussion of having more children created much discord between the couple. Entering his forties, Sam was satisfied with having just his twin boys, Mickey and Mason. They were growing older with flourishing social and academic schedules; keeping up with them alone was challenging. Sam's line of work wasn't slowing down anytime soon, especially with the couple's meditated decision to buy out their shares from Dalton Enterprises to start their own company projected during their first year of marriage.

Brynn was still youthful, ending her twenties by becoming a Dalton with her childhood dreams still intact: getting married and starting a family. She adored Sam's boys, quickly and naturally claiming them as her own; but, a large part of her desire was to become a mom biologically, to carry a child created by her and her beloved.

After experiencing a tragic ectopic pregnancy early in their relationship that almost cost Brynn's life, Sam's heart softened to the idea of having another child. He saw the depth of Brynn's broken heart; he felt the depth of his own humanity, facing the possibility of losing the love of his life. Again.

Somehow having the last word about the size of their family didn't matter to Sam anymore. Conceiving would be difficult, but they agreed to cherish the journey together, whether the family expanded or not.

The shattering of crystal startles Sam awake. With one eye peeking open, he inspects the empty disheveled sheets on Brynn's side of the bed.

"Brynn?" he gruffly calls out as he reaches for his eyeglasses on his nightstand. Listening fervently into the silence, he hears a muffled whimper. Throwing on a pair of heather-gray sweatpants, he investigates the tinkering of something sharp being scraped on the floor from the bathroom.

"Babe?"

'"I'm fine--" her voice is dampened by the door. And her tears.

"Brynn baby," he softly knocks. Opening the door to the small area, he reveals his kneeling wife with shards of glass splayed all over the floor. On closer inspection, she's attempting to clean up the mess with her bare hands. "Oh my God--"

"I'm sorry. I'm such a klutz. I-I-I know it was your favorite--" she stutters through her sniffles.

"Baby!" he grabs her wrists, forcing her to drop the broken pieces. "Stop-stop-stop. You're bleeding."

"I'm fine--"

"Come here." Sam grips his wife's arm snuggly, pulling her into a stand before tucking her petite body into an embrace. Pressing his lips against her hairline, he reaches down with his arm, lifting her body into a cradle-hold against his chest.

Sitting her on the sink, he quickly inspects her feet, ensuring no glass had blindly infiltrated her skin.

"I'm sorry--" she silently offers, wiping away the wetness in her eyes.

'Stop," he brushes a wisp of her hair behind her ear. He leans closely towards her, desperately wanting to dive into her stormy blues; but, her eyes stay trained on her hands.

Sam takes her injured hands in his palms, and gingerly rinses them in the sink. After allowing the water to run clear, he finally breaks the pained silenced.

"Was it negative?"

"I-I just needed a sip of water to take some Tylenol, and-and--"

"Baby," he coddles her face, making her look at him. "Did you--did you think that you--? That we were--?"

Brynn drops her head as rivers from her eyes roll down her cheeks. Sam delicately wraps her in a tight hold, peppering her sweetly with kisses.

"I thought for certain," she sniffles. "I was so shocked when nothing popped up on the test that I dropped the tumbler." She sarcastically chuckles through the sadness to herself. "And I thought it would be so sweet to find out today--today of all days. It sounded like a fairy tale, but it's now turning out more like a nightmare." She buries her face into Sam's shoulder as he tightens his arms around her body.

"I think it’s time that we--” Sam lets out a sigh, “--make an appointment--"

"No." She breaks from his hold, turning to leave the room.

"Brynn."

She angrily twirls around to face her husband. "And what, Sam? We've made appointments. What could they possibly tell me that we don't already know?"

"Okay-okay-okay--" Sam stifles the budding fire. “Forget that I mentioned it.” He reaches for his wife, pulling her back assuredly against his chest. "Please don’t cry,” he whispers into her ear, his hands rubbing her back intimately. “I am your husband, your confident. I am in your corner. Always will be." He looks down, lifting her chin attentively to his eyes, a subtle smirk growing across his face. "You want the moon?"

Brynn chuckles through her sobs resting her hands on his bare chest.

Sam presses his lips to her forehead. "Just say the word," he quietly teases. He nibbles across her cheek, his voice becoming lower, huskier, "and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down--"

Brynn meets Sam's lips in a tender kiss. She slips her arms around his neck, tugging him in closely as their mouths entwine as one.

Pulling back to dance in his sultry chocolate eyes, Brynn casually twirls the wavy locks in the back of Sam's head.

"You are my moon, Samuel."

Sam presses his forehead to hers. "I love you. We'll work through this." Looking back into each other's eyes, he begins to trace small circles on her back.

"We always do," Brynn playfully kisses his nose. "I love you, too."

"Let's head back to bed," he suggests, holding Brynn tightly, escorting her backwards to the bed. "I have a feeling that two eleven-year-old stars in our galaxy have a special surprise for you later this morning."

*****

"Happy Mother's Day, Mom!"

Brynn pops one eye open to a brightly sunlit room, only to be met with two pairs of doting brown eyes crowding her weary face. She lets out a guttural yawn.

"Mmm… thank you, boys." Brynn turns over, pulling the down comforter over her head.

"The subject is still sleeping, but moving, Dr. Dalton!" Mason playfully speaks into his watch. "I think we have a heartbeat!"

"Can't be too sure, Mr. President," Mickey dramatically grabs Mason's arm, keeping in character. "I'm afraid we're going to have to shock her. Or amputate."

Brynn squeezes her eyes closed, pretending to still be asleep as she hides her snickers. She loves listening to the boys play, using their vivid and clever imaginations. Even though they were getting older and 'too cool' for some things, she's pleased to see their dreaming hasn't stopped.

"Charge to fourteen zillion. And-- clear!"

All of a sudden, the boys ambush Brynn, tickling her feet and pinching at her sides.

"No-no-no! Ah!" She yelps, her words caught up into her laughter. "You turkeys!" She breathes heavily as she inadvertently kicks her feet wildly.

"Stop--ohmygod--Sam! Please!" she beckons between snickers, "I can't breathe--"

"Very fine work, doctor!" Mason cackles.

"Thank you, Mr. President!" Mickey mimics his brother, continuing to jovially attack their stepmother with tickles.

"ENOUGH!" Brynn screams. She grabs Mickey by the arm, pulling him into her lap, and starts plastering sloppy kisses all over his face.

"Gross! Mom! No!" he screams in agony, all the while Brynn giggles with each goofy kiss.

"Eww!" sputters Mason as he starts to crawl off the bed.

"Oh, no you don't, mister!" Brynn grabs him by the ankle, gathering him in an embrace as she plants tender kisses on his cheeks.

After a few more minutes of laughter and slathering of kisses, Brynn feels the struggle dissipate in her arms, the boys now cuddling tightly to her body. She rests her cheeks on the tops of their heads, eliciting a gentle, satisfactory moan. Soaking in the moment, Brynn realizes the truth: she is a mom. She already has everything she has ever wanted wrapped up in two beautiful bouncing balls of energy.

As the boys share the plot of the game they were playing, she secretly savors the scent of their warm brandy curls, cherishing the soft texture of their waves against her skin.

My boys. The thought of a life without them terrifies her; though her heart longs to create and deliver a baby with Sam, she would never trade this unexpected, ready-made motherhood she inherited by becoming a Dalton. In her eyes, her family is already perfectly whole. She hopes that with time, her desire for a baby will be silenced.

"Boys?" Sam calls from the kitchen. "Where are my sous chefs? This fruit isn't going cut itself."

"Uh-oh," Mason lowers his voice, "we better go, Dr. Dalton."

"Roger that, Mr. President!" salutes Mickey before turning his attention to Brynn. "Stay right here, Mom. Mother's day is just getting started!"

"I hope it's fluffy with maple syrup on top!" Brynn singsongs as the boys bounce off of the bed. She gleefully tucks herself back under the weighted comforter, glowing from the beautiful moment she shared with her sons.

Moments later, the boys barrel around the corner, this time with Sam in tow, balancing a lap desk with an immaculate breakfast spread; but keeping with tradition, the spread is for everyone. Brynn refuses to eat in bed alone.

The delightful aroma of the feast teases their stepmom's senses, and she quickly steals a strawberry slice. She instantly starts dividing up the pancakes, the grilled sausage and scrambled eggs as all the Daltons climb into bed.

"Mickey, do you want some of this--" she stops mid-sentence, her attention being stolen. Her eyes focus on a white satin jewelry box, tied with a pale pink bow.

"What is this?" She curiously lifts up the box while Mickey and Mason beam with excitement.

"It's a new kind of tradition," Mason coyly answers.

Brynn, clearly touched by the gesture, turns to her husband who's relaxing on his elbow. "Did you know about this?" she whispers. "No gifts--"

Sam raises his hands in defense. "They really wanted to do this. They did this all on their own. Saved up their allowances--"

"Uncle Robin took us to the mall and helped us pick everything out," explains a humbled Mickey. "Can she open it now, Dad?"

"She's the mama," he chuckles, swiping a kiss against the back of her hand.

Brynn meticulously unties the bow and unfastens the delicate pieces of wrapping paper, revealing a simple white box. She takes a moment to soak up her sons' excitement, who are intently watching her.

Biting her bottom lip, she opens the lid, revealing a stunning, white gold charm bracelet, already hosting several ornate charms. Brynn's mouth falls open in shock while her eyes well with tears. Taking it as their cue, the boys crawl into her lap.

"You said you always wanted one growing up--"

"Yeah," interrupts Mickey, "so we thought we could make you a mom charm bracelet."

Taking a few breaths to find the right words, Brynn distraughtly looks to a grinning, elated Sam. She looks back to the boys before fixing her eyes back onto the thoughtful piece of jewelry.

"Here, Mom," Mason takes the chain, and loops it around her wrists to clasp it. "We've been practicing,'' he smiles.

"You're doing it wrong, Mase," whispers a slightly irritated Mickey.

"I am not," Mason huskily rebuttals.

"You are, too."

"Am not!"

Brynn pulls her wrist away as the twins begin to stick their tongues out at each other.

"Guys! C'mon--" chastises Sam as he takes over,, clasping the bracelet to his wife’s arm. "Don't ruin the moment."

"Sorry, Mom," the boys simultaneously apologize, giving Brynn heartfelt looks of remorse.

After squeezing them tightly and thanking them for the very thoughtful gift, Brynn continues to admire the charms they picked. Two identical charms in the shape of a boy silhouette and a tourmaline birthstone catch her attention first.

"'Michael Aaron' and 'Mason Alexander'." A large smile plants securely on her mouth as her fingers trace over the etching of their names.

She tinkers through a few more charms, including a soccer ball, a microscope and a stand mixer. She stops at a simple silver heart with the inscription 'November 18.'

"I thought this was a mom charm bracelet," Brynn jests. "Why is our wedding anniversary on here?"

"Because that's when you officially became our mom."

Unable to control her tears, Brynn pulls them onto her lap, rubbing their backs before caressing their heads in her hands. Sam leans over, pressing a lingering kiss to her lips again and again.

This is all she ever wanted; this was her childhood dream. This is her family.

The four Daltons quickly ate breakfast in bed, laughing at the irregular shapes of the pancakes and the random eggshell in the midst of their scramble.

"Well," Brynn finishes first, "in the spirit of new traditions, I'd like to start a new one now, too. But we have to clean up and get dressed."

"Really?" squeals Mickey.

"Cool! What is it?" inquires Mason.

Brynn shakes her head. "It's a surprise." She hands the boys their empty plates, giving them a knowing wink. They both eagerly grab the dishes, and hurry to clean up the kitchen.

"Should I be worried?" Brynn flashes a sweet smile to an inquisitive Sam.

"Trust me, baby."

***

"Happy Mother's Day, Mrs. Brynn--"

"Oh, Mr. Carter!" Brynn collects a stunning bouquet of lavender tulips from Dalton's longtime driver. She takes a quick sniff of their sweet fragrance, wrapping an arm around endearingly around the older man's neck. "These are lovely! Thank you so much!"

He graciously nods, adjusting his hat with a sweet smile.

"So, the farmer's market?"

"Yes sir--"

"And I have the second address pulled up and ready to go."

"Perfect. Thank you for doing this."

***

Brynn and Sam walk hand-in-hand through the aisles of vendors, the boys remaining close. She has a destination in mind, but Brynn refuses to rush such a lovely sunny Spring day with her special guys.

They make a pit stop to try a few samples of freshly cut mango and dragon fruit. The twins sweetly plead a case for a smore with homemade marshmallows and tempered chocolate.

They finally stumble upon a florist with a delectable selection of gorgeous bulbs and gathered creations.

"We're here, boys," Brynn announces with a big smile.

"You wanted flowers?" Mickey wrinkled up his nose, sharing a confused look with his brother.

"Well," Brynn squats next to her sons, "sorta. I want you two to pick out the biggest, most beautiful bouquet."

"'Biggest'?" echoes Mason. "And 'most beautiful'?"

"Yes," Brynn giggles, "I want the biggest and the most beautiful. When you're finished," she holds up her crossbody purse, "my treat."

Sam gingerly grabs hold of Brynn's elbow, holding her back from the flower search.

"You're up to something," his eyes darken, staring into her stormy grays. A corner of his mouth curls waiting for an answer.

Brynn captures his bottom lip in a tender tug. "Trust me," she whispers, pulling his lips back into hers. His hands naturally find the curves of her rear, massaging her lovingly. "C'mon," Brynn grabs Sam's hand, her fingers intimately lacing with his.

The twins did not disappoint. With the help of the florist, Mickey, true to form, picked out a beautiful bouquet of red, white and blue wildflowers, homage to his favorite football team. Mason was charmed by the long-stemmed sunflowers. He has a stunning arrangement of orange and yellow flowers amongst a cloud of babies' breath.

"Guys, these are absolutely perfect!" A glimmer and sparkle grow in Brynn's eyes as she investigates the colors and smells. "You two did wonderful!"

"Happy Mother's Day!" Proud of their work, Mickey and Mason offer their bouquets to Brynn, but she quickly waves them away.

"Hold them for me, please. We have one more stop to make."

***

Carter picks up the Daltons, and quickly takes a detour, leaving the city. The car remains silent from conversation; the gallop of the wheels plodding against the rubber road lull the boys into a nap. Brynn rests her head against Sam's broad chest. His strong arm wraps tightly around her shoulders, his cheek basking amongst her vibrant almond waves.

"Excuse me? Mr. And Mrs. Dalton? We're here."

Carter kindly opens the door for the family to exit to their new endeavor in the country. There is a brisk chill in the air, but nothing the bold sunshine couldn't cure. Instead of the familiar sounds of people shouting and horns honking, they were surrounded by birds chirping, grass whistling, and leaves gently clapping.

"Where are we, Mom?" whispers a nervous Mickey, the first to file out of the car.

Brynn bends over, kissing his head. "You'll see, baby. You'll see. Did you grab your flowers?"

Mickey nods, handing the other bouquet to Mason.

Sam climbs out of the car, instantly aware of his surroundings. "Um, sweetie," he motions with his finger for her to come closer. "You think they're ready for this?"

"They've been ready for this. Trust me." She touches her hand to his downcast face, offering a tender smile. "How about the boys and I go on ahead?"

Sam soaks in the nature around him as a sweet breeze lingers on his face. Grabbing Brynn's hand, he kisses it delicately before letting go with a squeeze. "Okay."

"C'mon, boys," she reaches out, taking the boys by the hand, "we've got someone to talk to."

They enter the iron gates, walking respectfully on the stony pavement. They wind around on the path, trees gracefully blooming above their heads. They finally come to a fork in their venture.

"Okay, you two," Brynn walks in front of them only to kneel down to stop them. "Do you know where we are?"

"A cemetary?"

"That's right, Mase--"

"So, there are dead people buried underneath us?" Mickey cautiously asks. “Cool.”

"They are buried here," explains Brynn, "but we aren't walking on top of them. Their bodies are marked by those big rocks with writings on them--"

"Headstones!"

"That's right, Mase. They're called headstones."

"Why did you want to bring us to a cemetery for Mother's day?" questions Mickey. "That seems weird."

Brynn chuckles pulling him into a tight embrace. "Cemeteries are a beautiful place to communicate with those who have already passed. Sometimes on special days, like birthdays or anniversaries--”

“Or Christmas!” interjects Mickey.

“‘Or Christmas,’ that’s right.” Brynn stands. “Those days can be sad and lonely for those of us still alive on earth because we miss them so much.” She begins to draw closer to a plot with a large white granite headstone. “Spending time with them where they are buried is a way to remember them and to show them that we still love them.”

“Do they, um, talk back?” nervously asks Mason.

Brynn smiles sweetly at her stepson, hugging him tighter as they continue their saunter. “I’d like to think so, but not in the way we expect them to. Like sometimes, it might be a familiar fragrance, or a familiar song. Something to remind us that they are looking down, watching us, loving us.” Brynn nods in the direction of the breathtaking, large stone. “Go ahead.”

The boys cautiously step towards the monument, laying their flowers on top of the glistening stone.

“Caroline Austin Dalton--” Mason reads out loud, tracing the etching carefully with his fingers.

“That’s mama, right, Mase?”

“I think so, Mick.” The brothers endearingly hold each other’s hands as their eyes focus on her name. Mason’s eyes begin to well with tears first. “I can barely remember her--”

“Me, too.” Mickey quickly turns to Brynn, motioning for her to come closer. “What do we say to her? You’re our Mom--”

“--and she is your mom, just in a different way.”

“How do we talk to her?” shrugs Mickey.

“How do you talk to me?” Brynn smiles warmly, pushing a curl out of Mickey’s face. “Just talk. Talk about your day. Your favorite food. Your soccer game on Thursday.”

The boys raise their eyebrows at each other before returning their gaze back to Brynn.

“Here. Let me show you.” Brynn crawls onto her knees, facing the memorial. She clears her throat. “Caroline? Your boys picked out the most beautiful flowers for you.” Brynn grabs Mason’s hand. “You’d be so proud of them. Mason here is a straight-A student. Loves science, and is quite the little baker.” Brynn wraps an arm around Mickey. “And your first born here loves to play sports, and has a very vivid imagination.”

Brynn clears her throat. “It’s now your turn,” she gently rubs their backs. “Don’t worry; if she is anything like me, she’s dying to have you talk to her. Go ahead.”

Mason steps forward, placing a sincere hand on the headstone. “That’s Brynn, Mama--”

“And she’s a really great Mom,” chimes in Mickey, “she was originally our nanny--”

Brynn slowly backs away, allowing the twins to talk. She casually glances to the side, and notices a man out of the corner of her eye, taking swig from a flask: her husband.

Brynn casually walks up to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. She kisses the exposed skin of his chest, her lips crawling up his neck to his stiff chin.

“Please don’t be mad at me for this.”

Sam chuckles, avoiding eye-contact. “Some warning would’ve been nice--”

“So you could stop me?”

“Touché.” Sam takes another sip of bourbon, drifting back into a silent watch over the boys.

Brynn tightens her embrace around her husband. Breathing a sigh of satisfaction, she listens to the sweet bursts of giggles amongst the conversation being held by the twins in the distance.

Sam grips tightly to Brynn’s body, his mouth attempting to form words. “They haven’t been here since--” he swallows thickly, “since that day. I always wanted to keep her memory alive and bring them here, I just...” his voice begins to wander.

“Sam?”

“Hrmm?” he glances back down into Brynn’s sparkly blue eyes.

“You’re allowed to miss her, too--”

“Brynn... I--”

“It’s okay, baby--”

Sam caresses Brynn’s cheek with the back of his hand. “I love you--”

“That’s not what this is about,” she kisses his hand away from her face.

Sam clings tightly to his wife, rubbing his hands up and down her back. Painful tears that he had been holding back for over nine years spill down his cheeks as the floodgates of emotions wash over his body. “You truly are the best thing that has happened to this family,” he purrs in between sniffles.

After a few minutes of holding each other tenderly, Sam joins the boys at the graveside. Sharing sweet memories amongst each other, Mickey and Mason find solace in their father’s lap.

Brynn discovers a nearby bench to watch and wait. Humbled and satisfied by the day that had started so terribly, she smiles brightly as her beautiful family spends time, savoring the precious stories of the past.

A sudden gust of wind barrels across Brynn's face. Drying the rushing rivers from her cheeks, her hair dances carefree in the tumbling breeze. Her eyes flutter close as she lays her hands on her abdomen.

"It's okay, little one," she sweetly hums, "but if you like laughing, and if you like living... and if you like dancing and dreaming," Brynn cradles her abdomen tightly, "we'll be waiting."

The afternoon sun seeks refuge into darkness; the street begins to illuminate with the buzzing of lamps and lightning bugs. The laughter dies down and the conversation quietly stops. Sam slowly rounds up the boys, guiding them back to Brynn.

“I think we’re ready to head back,” Sam suggests, wrapping his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Anymore surprises?” he chuckles, pecking his lips to hers.

The corners of her mouth curve. “You three go on ahead,” she playfully pats Sam’s rear. “I’ll be right behind you guys.”

Sam raises an eyebrow before nodding his head. Placing his hands on each boy's shoulder, they walk towards the car where Carter is dutifully waiting for them.

Brynn approaches Caroline’s tombstone, graciously sitting next to it. She casually traces over her name, imagining how excited she must’ve been the first time she signed her name 'Mrs. Dalton'--just like her. Brynn finally rests her hand on the cold stone, tears of joy recollecting in her eyes.

”You gave me everything I could’ve possibly wanted,” a sob hitches in her throat. “Thank you for making me a mom. It was never supposed to be like this,” she chuckles to herself. She looks over her shoulder, watching Sam load up their sons into the car. “God, it’s so much better than I could’ve ever imagined. I promise I'll take care of them--"

“Brynn?” Sam calls out from the distance. “Ready, baby?”

“--all three of them.”

***

"Goodnight, boys. We love you," Sam whispers to the boys as he closes their bedroom door.

Brynn's eyes twinkle at her handsome husband, his gaze falling deeply on hers. She effortlessly takes his hand, draping it around her shoulders, pressing her tired cheek against his chest. Kissing the top of her head, he escorts her to their room, switching off lamps along the way.

"I've got one more surprise for you," Sam growls as he shuts their door.

"Mmm…" Brynn begins to tug at his waistband. "I love these kind of surprises," her mouth gently presses into the side of his neck, her teeth gingerly nipping at his pulse point.

"Baby," Sam chuckles, his wandering fingers combing through her golden waves. "I, um--" he clears his throat, "I actually do have something I want to talk with you about."

"Oh?" Brynn suddenly cups her hand over her mouth. "Oh!" she sighs, "I know, I know. I probably should've at least told you about my plan of going out to Caroline's grave--"

"Baby, I--"

"It just made sense in my mind at the time," she interrupts. "I don't want our boys forgetting they have two mothers that love them very much--"

Sam raises an eyebrow, a mischievous grin growing.

"What? Is it about the tumbler? I swear, I'll replace--"

"Brynn baby?" Sam takes ahold of both of her hands. "I love you," he places a sweet peck on her lips, "but shut up--" they start laughing at his words before he continues. "--now, come with me."

She follows him into the bathroom where he hands her a bottle of water.

"Wh--what's this about?" she furrows her brow.

"I was taking out the trash this morning after breakfast, and noticed your test--"

"Sam--"

"Your test, baby," he steps closer to her, holding it in his hands. "The box says it expired two years ago. I know you stockpile these things and keep them hidden." Brynn crosses her arms as her neck flushed with embarrassment. "Isn't there supposed to be some kind of line on it to show that the test is still okay to take?"

"A control line, yes. What's your point?"

"Brynn," his eyes pierce into hers, "yours doesn't have one." A playful grin crawls across his face. "And-and-and according to Google, you need one for the test to be even considered valid."

Brynn looks at the test, and realizes it's completely blank from any and all lines. She appreciates her husband's passion and agrees this is peculiar, but the point he is trying to make sounds way too good to be true. This isn't a movie or a fairy tale. And those lines fade after a test has been performed. Or do they?

"Brynn? Did you hear me?"

Brynn nods her head, biting her lip in deep thought. She wants to feel his excitement, but she can't be let down, not even just one more time. It had been the absolute perfect day with the absolute perfect family to where she is mom. Can she just end Mother's day feeling, well, like a mom?

"C'mon," he steals her water, popping the cap. "I bought a new test today while we were at the market--one that wasn't expired. Let's try again."

"Sam, no," she refuses to take the water back. "Besides, it's best to take it first thing in the morning--"

"So, what you're saying is that you want me to wake you up in a few hours to pee--"

"No, I'm saying let's drop it." Growing irritated, Brynn brushes past her husband and back into the bedroom.

Sam drags his fingers down his face. He follows suit, chasing after her. He reaches for her shoulder, but she dodges his touch.

"Brynn baby--"

"No--"

"Answer me this then," he bites back, "why did you take a test in the first place?"

Brynn freezes for a moment, staring at the ground. She doesn't want to argue, and she knows that her husband's questions come from a good place. They had always been open with one another; why not now?

"I thought I was." Brynn crosses her arms, blinking away tears.

Sam sits on the bed in front of her, looking tenderly at his bride. He grazes his finger tips up and down her hips until she finally looks down at him, drying her eyes.

"You might be, baby," he whispers, smiling into her gaze. "That was one test, one test that I'm pretty sure was bad."

Brynn casually combs Sam's waves back with her fingers, curling around his ear. Sam presses his nose to forearm, inhaling deeply the remnants of her floral perfume.

"For me?" Sam grazes his lips up her arm, finally resting them on her bare abdomen.

Touching his chin, Brynn tenderly nods.

***

Sam sits on the side of the garden tub, his elbows resting on his nervously bouncing knees.

After what seems like an eternity, Brynn emerges from the closet bathroom. Uncontrollable tears drench her red, blotchy face.

"Sam--?" her voice panics, her body shaking as she reaches for Sam.

Without missing a beat, he lovingly captures her in his arms. His hands intimately stroke her back as she sobs into his chest.

"Shh... baby. It's okay." Sam presses his lips into her hair, holding her close. "It’s going to be okay--"

"Sam--?" Brynn pulls away from Sam's chest, offering him the test as she cups her mouth.

Sam inquisitively takes the test from Brynn. And his eyes widen, shaking his head in disbelief. And he smiles.

“Happy Mother’s day, baby.”

*****

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#the nanny affair #m!sam dalton #m!sam x mc #mickey and mason #choices tna #tna fanfic #mother's day

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