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autistic-ben-tennyson · 2 months

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Still Salty About the Flanderization of Steven

Many SU fans have had to see these memes and are probably tired of them. I really hate the way people who have never even watched the show and probably just LO’s video flanderize Steven into a bumbling wimp or take scenes like him crying about wanting to be friends with Connie or trying to talk down Spinel out of context. People hate him for not killing his enemies on sight and act as if all he does is talk no jitsu. People act as if he’d die trying to redeem Big Jack Horner from Puss in Boots even though he’s met villains like Jack with Aquamarine and Eyeball and not only did he kick their asses but accepted that they were beyond help. Steven prefers to talk over fighting but isn’t stupid and knows when he has to get serious. Even during his “I can make a change” song that’s twisted out of context, he was still fighting defensively against Spinel. He just wasn’t fighting to kill. As for the meme above, did the creator watch Alien Force? The way Ben handled the Dragon, Reiny and the Highbreed would be pretty similar to how Steven would. The idealistic hero who teaches violence isn’t always the answer has already been done so why does Steven get the most hate for it?

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I reblogged a post about this but I really am tired of how TOH is propped up as the anti SU when Dana is friends with Rebecca and praised the groundbreaking work Rupphire did. The Owl House crew doesn’t hate SU and wasn’t doing a “take that” by killing its villain or claiming not everyone can be talked down with a hug. They’re two different shows with different stories and themes. Steven would also know that some like Belos can’t be redeemed and he didn’t actually redeem the diamonds. He didn’t like them and acts uncomfortable around them in Future but he needed them to cure the corrupted gems. The point of the diamonds as well as Andy was not that you have to accept bigoted family members but a wish fulfillment where queer people could get their families to accept them. I saw this on Reddit but I think Steven gets so much hate because he teaches the idea that retributive violence isn’t always the solution and because he got a good life with a loving family, girlfriend and adoration of everyone without being a self centered sexist asshole. Internet Dudebros hate the character who showed healthy emotion, treats Connie as an equal and taught stuff like acceptance, boundaries and kindness, as they hate the idea that they don’t have any of that because of how bigoted, self absorbed or toxic they are.

#steven universe future #steven universe #steven universe the movie #su spinel #ben 10 #the owl house #anti su critical

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vonnawithav · 5 months

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I don’t like romance in movies

Now, this is totally personal opinion and preference, so please keep that in mind when reading.

“I don’t like romance plots in movies”

That sounds so weird I know. Especially when this entire blog I dedicated to one ineffable couple I’ve hyper fixated on ever since I offhandedly watched a random show on prime when I was bored.

There’s lots of things I don’t like about the idea of stereotypical *ahem, usually heterosexual* romance, and one of those things is the perceived intensity of attraction.

While I understand it to an extent, I also don’t. On the few occasions I’ve been romantically interested in someone I’ve never had the urge to rip their clothes off and jump their skin, or marry them that afternoon.

I do however, want to show them my book collection, send them obscure memes, talk about that one scene in that one show I can’t move on from yet, listen to them talk about their passions, share romantic but subtle moments, and just generally enjoy each other’s company.

Maybe this is because my lack of neurotypical tendencies, my demisexuality, or just my queerness in general, I don’t know.

But this type of romance is rarely shown in media, (again, in my personal viewing experience), especially in straight media.

You’re probably wondering what the fuck this has to do with movies. Same honestly I lost my train of thought one sec-

Ah yes.

Romance in movies feels immensely rushed to me. There is no time to sit and talk while you watch the sunrise, there cannot be an entire episode where the entire plot line is your traumatic childhood and how you two can bond over the fact both of your dads left for milk and never came back, or your wooden frog collection.

Noooo, instead, there must be this instant inexplicable attraction that causes both of your hormones to go haywire, because the plot only has two hours to not only get through this plot line BUT the other three in the background.

For romance to work in my head, 👏🏾I 👏🏾 Need 👏🏾 Bonding 👏🏾 time 👏🏾.

That’s one of the many reasons I love OFMD and Good Omens so much, we get to see that bonding time.

Ed and Stede chilling while having breakfast in bed while they look at each other lovingly?

Goals.

Azira and Crowley sitting and enjoying a good bottle of wine while talking about the end of the world?

Never seen anything better.

I think romance is at its best when subtle and calming, not frantic and unnerving.

Don’t get me wrong, I think franticness has its place in romance, especially once sexual tension has begun, but there needs to be large spaces of comfort and safety in between. (In my personal opinion)

Alrighty then, I’ll be off.

Lmk if you see where I’m coming from, or if I’m just posting insane ramblings because I’m sleep deprived and recovering from a cold 🥲.

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adamworu · 1 year

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‘When’s the White Haired Anime Boy Going to Appear?’

For awhile, I often wondered about the phenomena of ‘When is the white-haired anime boy going to appear?’ posts during the heyday of Eva content on tumblr (2013-14). If you were around the Eva fandom on tumblr, or new to the show around that time like I was, you were probably bewildered too. It’s part of what got me into the show other than the character struggles and interesting worldbuilding.

Sure, you could chalk it up to people wanting to see more of Kaworu’s cute, but awkward mannerisms coupled with cryptic, though nonthreatening words. The bath scene of episode 24 is heavily quotable. There was also the influx of ‘headless’ memes (see: Pop Goes My Heart!).

But Eva was watched during many people’s adolescent years. High and low years. Critical years.

Evangelion itself is no stranger to struggles in formative years.

(talks about abuse under the cut)

I’ve always read Shinji as an audience surrogate because of how he’s at the center of these issues. Many of us have a Gendo: We hate them, yet we seek their validation, because unfortunately, they’re all we have. And yet they’re so emotionally cold and self-serving.

Much of the series sees Shinji in less than optimal environments. His father is cold and distant. While Misato takes him in, she also makes him (and Asuka) fight angels due to her issues with her own father. Shinji and Asuka’s relationship within the household isn’t the greatest, either. They’re both emotionally damaged kids who can’t really properly sort through the baggage due to their environment. They’re mainly shouldering the burden of adult issues during their early teen years.

They’re face to face with the open horrors of war.

Kaworu comes in toward the tail end of the series. He asks nothing of Shinji but the narrative hardly portrays him as the sudden, immaculate savior. They get to know each other, and due to his deep traumas, Shinji is of course wary because being open means getting hurt again. So he puts his guard up. The more they interact, the more they both get to know each other.

‘Why am I telling all this to Kaworu?’

This is less of a wariness of who Kaworu is and more of Shinji realizing he spilled part of his heart about his strained relationship with his father. Shinji realizes that he feels open, but not vulnerable. Kaworu feels the same way, replying to Shinji’s answers with ‘I think I may have been born to meet you, Shinji-kun.’

I sound like a broken record saying this but, Kaworu isn’t just his own person. He represents an ideal. This is a point I’m totally partisan to. That tinges of kindness can and do exist, even when one’s world is hell.

On that end, I believe that, at least in the original series, that Hikari is Asuka’s Kaworu. Asuka’s guarded persona manifests as being proud and somewhat brash, but it’s a product of neglect. This worsens when she comes to understand in her environment that her accomplishments mean next to nothing. That she’s replaceable.

The adults in Eva, even the adults of the adults get away with murder and seeing that as a victim of abuse drives a visceral rage I haven’t felt in years. And I’m sure this ire, this rising embitterment stirs in you too, if you ever lived in such an environment.

A lot of us were forced to wade through toxic environments for years while growing up. Had our share of bad relationships that still leave marks to this day. A lot of us are victims chasing the closure that will sadly, never come because many of the people who hurt you walk away when they have much to answer for. Even if they do answer, is there any guarantee that they’ll be genuine?

When Shinji is with Kaworu and when Asuka is around Hikari they’re far less guarded. For the latter, we see a side of Asuka not seen before: one that’s tender. One that doesn’t feel burdened and otherwise ignored.

And that too, could describe that someone in our lives. The world doesn’t feel as daunting. You realize your worth and that you can be yourself when you’re around them. The barriers come down slowly and you stop saying sorry. You don’t feel as if they’re demanding that that happens. It simply just. Does. The people you hate or ignore your grievances seem insignificant in your life, even if for a moment.

When we ask ‘When’s the white haired anime boy going to appear?’ what we actually mean is ‘When is our support system going to appear?’

I know that one day you will find your Kaworu. You deserve better than an apology. You deserve peace.

#neon genesis evangelion #kawoshin #kaworu #shinji #shinkawo #abuse mention #correct me if i'm wrong #happy shinkawo day

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iridessence · 9 months

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so i was recently watching Precious for the first time in years, like at least 10 years, and the scene where there is a meeting with Mariah the Counselor, Mo’nique and Gabourey came. I had no idea that the Internet had Tik Tok-ified a soundbite from precious's mother’s monologue… (“since you got your degree, and you think you know every fuckin thing”) and honestly it I’m not sure it will ever sit right with me again.

I’m not saying that tragic moments in fictional media can’t also be amusing, but usually they take agency by making fun of themselves, or the media is so badly done that it’s hard not to laugh. I would say in the case of this meme-ified moment, neither apply. And one other big issue with said meme-ification is that millions of people, mostly youthful tiktokers will take this bit and laugh and likely never contend with the heavy source material, despite having much to learn from it.

i just sincerely doubt that the person who initially pulled that clip and made it the meme it’s become is a fierce advocate for plus size black femmes and the abuse many of us are prone to experience— though i’d love to be proven wrong. likeeee something don’t smell right here, boys. sorry not sorry but I just don’t think you should make or share a meme about (fictional, even) black women going through some of the worst shit imaginable that just takes the source content so far out of context that it’s unrecognizable, unless like… you seriously advocate for that very marginalized group in general. And somethin tells me most of them don’t. But like I guess that’s just what TikTok does

#text post

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verkomy · 11 months

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I can’t watch the hobbit movies like a normal person, I will scream and cry and kick my feet every five seconds and giggle every time bilbo and thorin are on screen together and think about all the headcanons, facts, behind the scenes, deleted scenes and memes so while you’re watching a regular movie I am having a crazy party in my head

#glad my dad knows every line #and we are being annoying together #it’s impossible not to smile throughout entire movie #they’re my safe space #hobbit brainrot #the hobbit #tolkien #text

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thegoldheartlocketandkey-blog · 11 months

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It’s been made pretty clear by the fandom, not just Buddie Shippers, that we aren’t really fans of who Buck and Eddie end up with in the finale.

The biggest issue I have with the pairings is that they weren’t worked up, they kind of just showed up and we have no reason to care about them.

If these women are supposed to be endgame, at least give us ample reason to support the choice.

Natalia: They really screwed up her character because there was so much potential in making her interesting and someone we would like to get to know. She’s a death dula and Buck died. Instead of having her tell Buck that it’s so “cool” that he died they could of had her play an active role in having him process his death. I mean they still have the opportunity to do that but after they gave us a cringe date, a recycled story line, but with less depth, they gave us too many reasons to dislike her as a character for me to even see that play out.

They made the same mistake they made with Lucy. Instead of having Natalia be a friend to Buck they force her to be a love interest which adds nothing new to bucks character.

But imagine Buck’s character development if Natalia was a friend. He would have gone from Buck 1.0 ( The guy who only does hook ups), to Buck 2.0 (the guy who just ends up in relationships) to Buck 3.0 (the guy who chooses himself and is able to be friends with a woman).

We can also address the fact that there is a lack of chemistry between Buck and Natalia. The kiss in the finale was awkward and not in a cute endearing way. I will say, I love that she doesn’t look like she could be related to Buck. I’m willing to see their relationship play out during season 7, but I just can’t see it being the end game.

Marisol: Where did she come from. What do you mean this is the girl that has Eddie acting like a middle schooler. She came out of nowhere and we know almost nothing about her, besides the fact that she fixes her brother’s mistakes.

I rewatched Season 6, Episode 5: Home Invasion, where we are first introduced to Marisol and after watching the episode, I believe the fan theory that her brother’s rescue was originally written as a boyfriend being rescued. But after the scenes where already filmed, the writers decided she’d be the love interest so they re-recorded the audio of the scene. I’m serious go back and watch her emergency, there is something off about it.

Marisol to me feels like another Ana. No substance, no reason for me to care about her. They both barely interacted, so their phone call makes less sense the more you think about it.

The same episode where Eddie is told he can’t look for love, he finds what he’s “been looking for”. This feels like Eddie is again only doing what he thinks he is supposed to do. Instead of processing his feelings of loneliness, he’s doing what he thinks the world expects him to do and date someone. He married Shannon because he felt like he had to. He stayed with Ana because he thought it was best for Christopher. And he’s settling for Marisol because he doesn’t want to be alone. None of those reasons are good reasons to pursue someone for a serious relationship.

It’s one thing to have Eddie date because he wants to be outside his comfort zone, meet people, and have fun. It’s a completely other thing to have him date because he feels like he needs to.

The only way to make Marisol a good character is by having her be a person that helps Eddie figure that out. She helps him realize that it’s not just about the end game, but his ability to just enjoy her company and not so worried about what the end result. She can just be someone he dates because she was fun to date. A relationship that shows him that you can have someone be an important part of your journey, but not your end game. Like a summer fling.

Given the fact that the actress who plays Marisol recently reposted a transphobic meme and couldn’t even attempt a sincere apology, I hope we don’t get to see her at all in season 7. She can be explained away by Eddie mentioning her once and just saying it felt promising but she just wasn’t the one. I have no interest in see their relationship play out.

Buddie: In my opinion, the best match for Buck and Eddie will always be each other. The writers have their relationship set up as the perfect slow burn, friends to lover scenario. And even though they screwed up the finale a bit, they can easily correct their wrongs. Buck and Eddie’s chemistry is undeniable and having them end up together would play into their individual story lines so perfectly.

I need this relationship that has developed organically to flourish in Season 7.

I will continue to manifest Buddie and let me use this moment to state couch theory is not dead. Buck will just need to get rid of another couch.

#911 fox #evan buck buckely #buddie #911 abc #eddie diaz #911 season 6 #buck x eddie #buckley diaz family #911 spoilers #911onfox #911 show #911 season finale #the gay firefighter show #couch theory

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 1 year

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As an autistic person, I want to say something about The Good Doctor.

Over the last month or so - but especially the last two days - Twitter has gone nuts about dragging the absolute piss out of this show. Because autism representation is so rare in major television shows or movies, I’ve been finding myself questioning whether The Good Doctor is in fact “good” representation in the slightest or if I’m just clinging onto it because it’s one of the few shows out there with an autistic lead… and people dragging the shit out of it has made me even more unsure because I’ve only seen one and a half seasons of the show so far and so I can’t really speak on how the show has done recently in regards to portraying autism.

Personally, do I feel that Shaun in TGD represents me and how I am autistic? No. But to be honest, I wasn’t expecting him to because autism is a spectrum and the areas where my autism affects my life will be different to other people’s; it’s also worth noting that it’s been shown that autistic traits are different in girls than in boys, and that girls tend to mask more etc. Obviously this does not apply to ALL boys and ALL girls, but in general it’s thought that girls and women tend to have different traits to boys and men.

With this in mind, Shaun actually does remind me at times of a child at the school I’m currently at - again, not 100% the same but there’s similarities in regards to how they talk, what they say etc. However, that child is five-nearly-six, and Shaun is a grown man so… do with that information what you will. There have also been a couple of moments I’ve had so far watching the show where it’s seemed like lightening has struck and I’m like “Oh that’s me!” - namely the social awkwardness and a meltdown scene. It’s not every episode, it’s only on occasion, but it’s been nice to see nonetheless because the only other time I’ve witnessed that with an actual confirmed autistic character is Newt Scamander.

Obviously I don’t speak for all autistic people, and I’m very aware that many other autistic people have expressed dislike and criticism of the show - and I get it, I truly do. I do think the show isn’t exactly the best written (to put it nicely) and that it gives a very stereotypical representation of autism, namely “white boy/man autism”. I don’t want to bash the show too much because while I’ve seen complaints about it, I’ve also had some fellow autistic people say to me that they love the show and that they feel Shaun represents them - and that’s great.

I do want to express my discomfort about the fact that people have turned a scene where Shaun is having a meltdown into a meme. There is a very fine line between criticizing a piece of media for bad representation and then mocking autistic meltdowns - and I think a lot of neurotypicals are in fact just using it as an excuse to laugh at autistic people and mock us. It’s not just that scene either: I’ve seen people mocking clips showing how he stands, how he talks, how he interacts with people, and it very much feels like people just wanted a chance to make ableist comments about autistic people.

It’s also interesting that this show has so far had six whole seasons air, it’s got extremely high viewership, and yet it’s only now that people are taking offence to a scene that occurred at least four years ago. I know that Twitter has had a field day over another scene in the first season where Shaun at first struggles to understand why a trans woman is “she” (which, you know, is a whole other kettle of fish given that I’ve seen it claimed that autistic people are more likely to be trans/NB etc), and far right TERFs/bigots were using that scene as some kind of “gotcha!”… right up until it was pointed out that by the end of the episode, Shaun fully accepted the trans woman’s gender identity and used the correct pronouns.

Again, I’m not saying this was brilliant writing or anything, but it was several years ago and is only now being brought up, same with other scenes taken out of context in the show… Yes, autistic people have voiced grievances with it before, but were ignored - I don’t believe for one minute that the neurotypicals making the memes and being preachy give one shit about actually autistic people or care about us, because otherwise why were our voices ignored before? It’s only now that it’s been getting public notice for the trans episode that people are going “ohhhh this show sucks and is bad representation” as if members of the autistic community haven’t voiced that opinion for years. It just rubs me the wrong way quite frankly.

What I will say is that I’m tired of seeing people drag Freddie Highmore though. He’s a good actor, anyone who’s seen him in things he’s done since his childhood will know that, it’s not his fault if he’s given shit scripts to work with. I do also think Freddie means well with his portrayal, even if he’s (as far as we know) allistic and the fact he appeared in an Autism $peaks video (because of TGD/all the cast did it) - the man has zero social media presence whatsoever though and didn’t even know what Pokémon Go was, so I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt this time and assume he truly hasn’t been informed about how harmful that organisation is. Or maybe I’m just going soft on him because seven year old me had an age appropriate crush on him eighteen years ago, who knows at this point?

I’m hoping all of this talk will open up a dialogue about the show and about the representation of autism, if nothing else.

#the good doctor #shaun murphy #freddie highmore #autistic #actually autistic #autism

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tiny-sassy-aggressive · 4 months

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I am living blogging my reaction to the second watch through of WDAPTEO 4 bc the first run through was so much

00:00- I screamed when I saw the notif. I was alone in the car. Just pulled up to my apt looked at my phone and screamed “ no way “ I still can’t believe we got it

00:01- hi, they are SO BEAUTIFUL I’m squealing. I cannot stop staring it’s embarassing

00:27 what’s going on here? “Nothing” my heart. The smiles

00:50 oh I am LOVING the feature wall. And fish tank reveal project??

01:00 how dare they throw THAT japhan photo up there like it’s just some example. Who the hell do they think they are- also I want that doomed hoodie :( he is snug as a bug in a rug

01:50 terror not even 2 minute in and crack

02:03 I’m sorry Dan asking Phil about TikTok stuff is precious

02:13(What is cba)

02:39 I CACKLED. Phil’s sarcastic ass omg

02:44 dans little pat

02:58 phivorce

03:05 I know the ft, they are friends of course. But seeing the messages really warms my heart. Like it’s so normal why am I emotional

03:52 of course Phil sends millions of memes

04:10 how in the fuck did Phil catch his phone what??? Ft dans face during the whole interaction.

Ad time —— 04:25. Im sorry Dan looks fucking amazing, his hair is so curled and pretty? And he looks so comfy cozy and soft??? My Dannie side is really coming out rn

04:59 handsome devil, damn straight. Love this man he’s too precious for this world

05:23 🍑

05:55 are the Brits okay??? Bone daddies?? I’m too American for this

06:30 perfectly encapsulated Dan and Phil energy

06:35 Dan saying dude scratches a weird itch in my brain

06:55 again! Totally normal to call a friend in a taxi. But this moment makes them so real in my mind like yes. Call that friend. In that taxi. Make it less awkward. Why did I like this moment so much

07:05 A PRETEND CONVO OF COURSE HE WOULD. He’s so real for that

07:34 “these are very dan and Phil”

07:42 I’m in pain. Koala content and ouch I can’t even put into words

08:44 three days without a text sounds exaggerated. Or lie. Like cmon. All those messages and convos and yall went 3 days without a word?? Sounds fake

08:58 asking what he should do for his nails!!? Again totally normal but UGH I love their friendship

09:01 also Phil coming in with a STELLAR idea, hope to see it happen

09:11 Phil’s a little shit OMG he hated the nails Dan got.

09:38: dans precious little selfies

09:44 also who tf is that that does not look like Dan

09:52 wtf do you mean that they had the same weird Swedish bakery???? 10 years apart???? WHAT THE HELL??????

10:35 fuckin nerds ft cute ft selfie

10:52 Dan in Phil’s glasses hi what the fuck? Precious. Phil loves to take photos of Dan sleeping.

11:02 jump. Scare.

11:28 PHIL CALLED HIS MOM. NURSE LESTER.

12:11 Dan stalking the ring doorbell is not something I expected?

12:20 glad to know Phil and I share that we can’t hear someone saw our name bc it’s too intimate

13:16 ordering a roast dinner is so cute idk why

13:35 jump. Scare.

14:26 I hate them :( i so long for what they have

15:04 they didn’t see death note the musical!! Haters!!!!

15:20 HOT

16:00 Phil papping Dan>>>>>>

16:20 I rewatched this part so many times. Thsi entire sequence. This whole. Dare i say SCENE. Disgustingly familiar. Disgustingly cute. I- karaoke game???? What??? It was for them

17:06 omatone :(

18:22 hot? Worrying? Hmm???

18:45 Phil is so dramatic I love him

19:01 genre to dinner? I don’t get them

19:10 DAAAAAN AHHHHH

19:20 SCRIPTS AH???????3@2/9/@/9@22929 more writer Dan

20:17 this is so familiar

20:50 this has “would you still love me if I was a worm” energy? Can’t explain

22:53 “we dan and phil-ed it” we have to steal that! Asap’

23:24 when Dan sits up he is soooo much taller than Phil but he constantly slumps down and looks up to Phil. It’s very cute to watch.

24:30 oh they are fully embracing the joint channel and slowly moving away from gaming and honestly. I’m alright with it. They look so happy

Guys this was too much. So I just started reading fanfic and these conversations were right out of what I’ve been reading which is very odd tbh? But we were fed. This was amazing content and I can’t wait to see what the writers do with this. Cheers

#amazingphil #dan and phil #daniel howell #phil lester #dnp #philip lester #dan howell #danisnotonfire #dan and phil renaissance #Daniel and Philip #Daniel Howell and Philip Lester #Wdapteo 2023

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bp-zb1fics · 1 year

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My heart keeps on

pairing: na kamden x secret s/o reader

pronouns: none used

genre: canonverse (finale), angst ish, fluff

tw/tags: long distance relationship, very emo in general, a lot of tears LIKE A LOT, you surprise kamden twice, citing ep 12 as my ref for all this, kinda secret relationship, realities of dating a trainee/idol, reunions so more emo, cuddles, cheek kissing, using a pic as a page break, yes the title is fr kam’s rap in switch ty for noticing 💜

wc: 2178

summary: kamden hasn’t seen you in over a year. you surprise him.

a/n this was supposed to be a gift fic for 101 followers but y'all are 200 now 😭😱 omg so thanks so much for supporting my little blog!!! I know this took a little longer than expected so thanks so much for patiently waiting! 💜Special thanks to the anon who sent me an ask about missing kamden and especially to @seok02 for giving me the motivation to finish this fic and kinda just helping me with the overall process 💜💜💜

check my pinned for more fics!

“Star Creator, we always thank you and love you!”

They wrap up the pajama party livestream, thanking the staff and staying to chat as the cameras are switched off. (Or so they think, lol)

“The vibe was pretty good,” Kamden tells Matthew. The other boy agreeing instantly.

“I think we were able to show new sides of ourselves.”

Suddenly the staff play a recording, surprising them all. It’s video messages from Star creators all over the world for them to watch. Kamden grabs a fluffy pillow as he watches everyone slowly get emotional. Seungeon cries. Zhang Hao cries. Yujin cries. Almost everyone is crying.

Kamden gets a message from a fan in Norway, which is pretty cool. Then, something he never expected happens. He recognises your voice before he even realises it’s you.

“Kamden, annyeong~”

The pillow falls off his lap.

It’s you. It’s really you. You who he hasn’t been able to video call in a few days because of practice and your schedule and the time difference. He almost calls out your name but it sits tight in his throat, unable to reach you.

You’re on screen, wearing one of the shirts you’ve stolen from him, holding onto the plushie he bought for you at that silly little shop after you insisted it looked like him. God, he hasn’t seen you in over a year.

“Dude, you okay?” Jay asks him softly.

He must look like an idiot, eyes blown wide, mouth slightly open, hanging onto every word that comes out of your mouth.

“I’ve been watching Boy’s Planet since the teasers were released. And you’ve always been my favourite.”

Kamden knows. You’ve been spamming your chat with him with all these little clips from the PR videos to the behind the scenes footage. Screenshots of you voting for him on the Mnet+ app, comments you’ve left on his fancam videos, even the funny memes you found of him on Twitter all greet him when he opens his phone after practice.

Hope my favourite trainee is doing well and staying healthy! Take care of yourself and know I’m always rooting for you! I love and miss you so much! Hoping for your debut!

Your messages are his favourite. And speaking of:

“I’ve made a little compilation of photos right here. I hope you like how I decorated them, I really tried my best~”

All the trainees ooh and ahh over the handmade album you bring up to the screen compiled with photos of him from the program and cute little notes and stickers. Kamden can’t move, can’t talk.

Because that’s your album, the one you had insisted on starting when he and you began dating. He knows that if you flipped to the other pages, it would be full of photos of both of you, dates, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, awards that either of you might have won, events that were important to you or him or both of you, everything carefully labelled. It was one of your favourite things to print out all the photos and he’d help you decorate them.

He can’t believe you kept that up after he left for Korea.

“You’ve stood out to me in every performance. You’re so talented and so many people are cheering you on so please remember to have confidence in yourself.” Your voice wavers a little towards the end of the sentence and as slight as it is, he catches that. He knows you.

Kamden only registers the wetness on his cheeks when the tears are already going, fast and furious. He reaches up, trying to dab them away gently with his sleeve. On screen, you blink rapidly and he knows you’re trying your best not to cry either. Even thousands of miles away, on a video you probably recorded weeks ago, you and him are still in sync. Maybe the rest of the trainees don’t see it but he does. Of course he does.

“I hope you take care of yourself always. Make sure to eat enough and get enough rest. I’ll be voting for you everyday so just do your best in practice and performing and us Star Creators will take care of the rest. We’ll support you so you can achieve your dream of debuting~”

To everyone else, you were just a particularly supportive fan. But to Kamden, you were his person, the one he was devoted to and he can’t help it, sobbing a little into his sleeve. Several pats on the back as the other trainees around him try to comfort him. He can’t help but cry even more. Why were you so far away? Why couldn’t you be here where he could hug you and kiss you and just be with you?

“Na Kamden hwaiting! Saranghae~”

That’s it. He turns and buries his face fully into his hands as if doing that would soak up all the tears that won’t stop coming. Matthew and Jay have scooted over, voices overlapping as they rub his shoulders and back and ask what’s wrong. Even Zhang Hao’s hovering a little on the side, equally concerned.

Maybe he’ll say something later, when there are no mics and no cameras. He’s been training for years and you’ve both agreed that in a career like the one he aspires to get into, keeping it quiet would be the best. Idols don’t date. Idols don’t have a significant other in a whole other country that they call when they can find free time. Even when it comes to casual conversation where there isn’t a camera directly trained on them, Kamden just doesn’t say anything.

They do ask him later. And when he says you’re a close friend he hasn’t seen in awhile, their faces light up in recognition. He leaves it at that.

You walk into the arena with a little trepidation.

It’s all been a blur. Packing your things, flying to Korea, meeting up with Kamden’s mom and brother who have been kind enough to get you a ticket pass for the family section. Of course, he has no idea you’re even here.

You’re quite a bit more nervous about surprising him than you thought. While you’d give anything to see him again, it was a little risky in such a public venue with so many people watching and cameras everywhere filming almost any angle. Maybe you can be discreet enough if you do break down but Kamden’s on stage, the spotlights bright and on him. Fans are probably filming him on their own devices.

At this point, you’ll just have to trust your boyfriend to keep his reactions to a believable level. You don’t stand too close to his family, trying to keep your distance but also staying near enough that you’d be in the same general direction if Kamden glanced your way.

You end up on the side, along with a few other people who seem to be dressed as discreetly as you, masks on too. The looks you exchange seem to come to a general understanding of why you’re all here and who you’re here for.

Kamden doesn’t notice you when the Top 18 first file in. You don’t expect him to but you see him though. There’s a growing knot in your stomach, emotions welling up from actually seeing him not through a screen but so close that you could walk on stage and touch him. You don’t do that, of course. But still, he’s so near that it almost hurts not being able to throw yourself into his arms for a hug.

You’ve wanted this so much, especially after more than a year of not seeing him. But right now, you feel frozen. You only watch as they start getting into positions for the signal song. Fans are cheering, even the family members and friends of the trainees are calling out words of support. Still, your voice sticks to your throat, as much as you want to shout out, something keeps you from doing it.

Good thing Kamden’s brother does it for you. It probably surprises you and his mom more than it should but who can blame you when he almost never does that? Kamden’s surprised too, maybe it’s a twin thing but he immediately stands up straighter looking for where his brother’s voice is coming from.

And then he sees you.

His eyes meet yours and they widen considerably. His mouth even drops open a little. You’re smiling so much and you’re sure it shows from how your eyes crinkle, just a little glossy. But you’re not going to cry just yet. Instead, you wave at him. He can’t do much more than give a little wave back before they seem to be ready to start filming.

Suddenly, your heart feels just a little lighter. You step back and watch him dance the signal song. You’ve seen him do it a thousand times, every time you stream his video. It feels so surreal, being able to see it like this, right in front of you. When the song ends, you see his eyes flick back in your direction, searching for your face. When he finds it, his expression brightens.

It’s amazing, watching someone you love do what they love. Sure, you’ve seen Kamden dance, you’ve gotten him to sing and even rap for you a little before. But it’s different with the stage and the lights and the crowd and he looks so comfortable there. You laugh when you see the Jelly Pop teaser, maybe you’ll get him to wear that dress again, just so you can get photos. The final song is almost bittersweet and you try your best but a few tears do slip out.

He’s messaged you about barely making it to the finale, you’ve monitored the program, watched his rank. You both know his chances are slim. But they’re possible. Still, he’s told you that he’s prepared for the equal possibility of not debuting. His company should have plans, he assured you. You watch him walk over to every one of his fellow trainees who’ve made it to debut, offering hugs and congratulating them. And as the number of spots dwindle, you keep your hopes up but you begin to accept it as well.

By the time they’ve called third, you watch as he walks over to Matthew, one of the trainees he’s closest with from what he’s told you. Maybe he lingers a little longer. Maybe you catch his eyes as he looks over. Hwaiting! You mouth, shaking your fists a little in encouragement. The emotions are swirling inside you. When the camera pans over to him, he’s teary eyed, covering his face the way he always does when he gets like that. You can’t help it. The emotions are starting to spill over and you breathe between the occasional tears.

After they announce the ninth place, everything suddenly starts moving so fast and so slow. They wrap up filming. The audience begins to file out. The cameras switch off one by one. You go backstage.

When he walks in, mic gone, still in that uniform that you keep teasing about, you don’t hold back. His arms wrap around you and you fall into him, holding him so tightly you wish you didn’t need to let go. And then both of you start crying.

“I missed you so much, Kam.” You’re holding onto the fabric of his jacket, gripping at it so desperately you’re almost afraid it might rip.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” He manages, his head somehow buried on your shoulder, tears soaking the cloth of your shirt.

“Surprise?” It comes out weak, a little shaky as you both laugh brokenly through your sobs.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” He holds you even tighter, like he’s afraid you might fade into thin air.

“I’ll be here for a while.” You tell him. “I wish I could’ve come sooner but-”

“It’s okay seriously, you’re here now.” If he squeezes you anymore, you feel like your heart might burst. “I’m so happy to see you.”

He goes back with you. There’s few brief introductions to Jay and Matthew and a few other trainees he’s grown close with, nudges and knowing looks and raised eyebrows. But it’s nothing to stress about, you manage to make it back under the radar.

You feel him watching you as you grab a few more things from your suitcase after both of you have showered and you’re wearing another one of his old shirts. Before you know it, your legs are tangled together, your head resting on his shoulder, your hands intertwined.

“I don’t want to sleep,” he says quietly. “I don’t want to wake up and find out this is a dream and you aren’t here.”

“You aren’t dreaming, Kam.” You reassure him, lifting your head to kiss his cheek. Even in the privacy of this room, he blushes.

“Even if I didn’t make it, at least I have you.”

“You do, Kam. You always do.” And you know he will make it, one day.

#boys planet #boys planet fics #boys planet x reader #boys planet drabbles #boys planet mnet #kpop fics #boys planet 999 #kpop scenarios #boys planet fanfic #kpop imagines #kpop fanfics #kpop fanfic #na kamden #boys planet kamden #na kamden x reader #kamden fic #thanks for 200 followers 💜#gift fic #bp-zb1 fics

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ourflagmeansheartbreak · 6 months

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Now that it’s been a minute and I hopefully won’t get “kys” comments on my posts, something to say.

I love Ed with my whole heart but he had no business crying when Izzy was dying. And no business crying because he’s his “only family”. For someone who tried to kill him twice himself not weeks ago.

Another thing, I love ofmd with everything I have and I thought season two was amazing, yet I’ll still say the ending sucked. We got a half assed burial for a crucial character that we were forced to fall in love because of all the character grow, and after that immediately the wedding and no one really even seemed to be that fucking affected.

The whole ending was about how much everyone loves Ed. I get that it was a private moment between him and Ed, which Ed had no privilege to have to begin with, but not a single person said good bye or even remotely let him know he was also loved. Because he was, they’re a family, they love each other. Izzy is the father that tried to protect them from Ed as much as he could, even from himself (hence saying “your feelings for Stede Fucking Bonnet” because with Edward constantly being high he might have just fucking shot himself. And Izzy wouldn’t let that happen).

I’m not saying that because of all the growth he did his death meant it didn’t matter, not at all. I’m saying it was poorly handled and made purely for shock factor and just to make it easier. Because in third season we have Stede and Ed and then Izzy doesn’t mix into the equation anymore, does he? With him being in love with Edward letting him go must’ve been a happy ending for them with “no interruptions”. That’s just my opinion. They didn’t even get a chance to sort anything out, to talk about anything except “sorry for your leg” scene. He got literally no closure, something I see often mentioned on here as well.

Izzy got the briefest time to feel actually happy. Imagine becoming a pirate at 16, scraping your way through life with so much violence, then working your ass off for Blackbeard and then here, you find a crew that lets you to just be, well, you. And he didn’t even get to feel that fully.

It was badly timed, the whole thing felt off, and once again, for someone who tried to actively kill and harm Izzy, Edward had no business bawling his eyes out how he’s his “only family”. A few weeks ago you discarded him like trash and didn’t even blink when you thought he was dead. Not saying people can’t change but holy shit balls is that a huge ass change for such short time.

I love Ed, don’t get me wrong, when you live among violence for so long it’s difficult to adjust your moral compass to something WE think is morally wrong or right. However I am saying it simply didn’t make sense.

And I love ofmd I thought second season was amazing, but the ending was not. And I think it’s okay to express something you didn’t like, just because I love it to death doesn’t mean I have to look at it like it’s the hand of god and I can’t be upset about anything.

I don’t think going forward I’ll make any comments on Izzy’s untimely death again, it’s just beating a dead (haha) horse over and over again, I’ve seen these things pointed that already but I talked how his death was fitting (in a way, it was) so now I wanted to say what was poorly handled. Because it was, in my opinion.

If you disagree, please don’t say that I deserve to lose a leg or “kys”, I really don’t think you should be watching ofmd if that’s your reaction to someone online criticising anything. And for that one lucky person who did say that, lucky to inform you, I already walk with the cane, so, half way there!

That’s it. That’s my final comment on this situation, I am slightly disappointed in how it ended but then again it’s just my opinion that means nothing in grand scheme of things. Moving forward I’m no longer commenting on this, only memes and good times.

Take care of yourself and most importantly love your fucking selves.

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lucifersresources · 1 year

Text

taylor swift // midnights rp meme.

edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!

lavender haze.

meet me at midnight.

you don’t ever say too much.

i’ve been under scrutiny.

you handle it beautifully.

all this shit is new to me.

i’m damned if i do give a damn what people say.

all they keep asking me is if i’m gonna be your bride.

they’re bringing up my history.

they’re bringing up my history, but you weren’t even listening.

i just need this love spiral.

maroon.

we lost track of time again.

you were my closest friend.

how’d we end up on the floor anyway?

i see you every day now.

i chose you.

we were shaking.

how the hell did we lose sight of us again?

ain’t that the way shit always ends.

i feel you, no matter what.

and i lost you.

i wake with your memory over me.

that’s a real fuckin’ legacy.

anti-hero.

i get older, but just never wiser.

midnights become my afternoons.

my depression works the graveyard shift.

i should not be left to my own devices.

i end up in crisis.

i wake up screaming from dreaming.

one day i’ll watch as you’re leaving.

one day i’ll watch as you’re leaving, coz you got tired of my scheming.

it’s me, hi. i’m the problem, it’s me.

i’m the problem.

i’ll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror.

it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.

i’m a monster on the hill.

did you hear my covert narcissism i disguise as altruism like some kind of congressman?

life will lose all its meaning.

she thinks i left them in the will.

she’s laughing up at us from hell.

snow on the beach.

life is emotionally abusive.

time can’t stop me quite like you did.

i’m unglued, thanks to you.

it’s like snow at the beach: weird, but fucking beautiful.

you wanting me tonight, feels impossible.

this scene feels like what i once saw on a screen.

i’ve never seen someone lit from within.

my smile is like i won a contest.

to hide that would be so dishonest.

it’s fine to fake it till you make it.

i can’t speak.

i don’t even dare to wish it.

can this be a real thing?

you’re on your own, kid.

summer went away, still the yearning stays.

i play it cool with the best of them.

he’s gonna notice me.

we’re the best of friends anyway.

i hear it in your voice.

i didn’t choose this town, i dream of getting out.

there’s just one who could make me stay.

i waited ages to see you there.

you never cared.

you’re on your own, kid. you always have been.

you’re on your own, kid.

i see the great escape.

he loves me not.

something different bloomed.

i’ll run away.

i gave my blood, sweat and tears for this.

the jokes weren’t funny.

i took the money.

my friends from home don’t know what to say.

there were pages turned with the bridges burned.

everything you lose is a step you take.

you’ve got no reason to be afraid.

you can face this.

midnight rain.

he wanted it comfortable, i wanted that pain.

he wanted a bride, i was making my own name.

he stayed the same.

all of me changed.

my town was a wasteland.

for some, it was paradise.

i broke his heart coz he was nice.

i was midnight rain.

i guess sometimes we all get just what we wanted.

he never thinks of me.

i guess we all get some kind of haunted.

i never think of him.

i never think of him, except on midnights like this.

question...?

we had one thing going on, i swear that it was something.

i don’t remember who i was before you.

i just may like some explanations.

can i ask you a question?

did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room?

what did you do?

did you ever leave her house in the middle of the night?

did you wish you’d put up more of a fight?

it was too much.

do you wish you could still touch her?

did you realise out of time?

fuckin’ politics and gender roles.

i just may like to have a conversation.

does it feel like everything’s just like second best after that meteor strike?

i’m sure that’s what’s suitable.

vigilante shit.

draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man.

you did some bad things, but i’m the worst of them.

sometimes i wonder which one will be your last lie.

they say looks can kill and i might try.

i don’t dress for women, i don’t dress for men, lately i’ve been dressing for revenge.

i don’t start shit.

i don’t start shit, but i can tell you how it ends.

don’t get sad, get even.

i’ve been dressing for revenge.

she needed cold hard proof, so i gave her some.

picture me, thick as thieves with your ex-wife.

she looks so pretty, driving in your benz.

ladies always rise above.

i’m on my vigilante shit again.

bejeweled.

i think i’ve been a little too kind.

didn’t notice you walking all over my peace of mind.

putting someone first only works when you’re in their top five.

i’m going out tonight.

best believe i’m still bejeweled when i walk in the room.

i can still make the whole place shimmer.

familiarity breeds comtempt.

don’t put me in the basement when i want the penthouse of your heart.

i polish up real nice.

i think i’ve been too good of a girl.

i think it’s time to teach some lessons.

i made you my world.

have you heard? i can reclaim the land.

i miss you, but i miss sparkling.

sadness became my whole sky.

but some guy said my aura’s moonstone.

you can try to change my mind, but you might have to wait in line.

a diamond’s gotta shine.

labyrinth.

it only hurts this much right now.

i’ll be getting over you my whole life.

i’m falling in love.

i’m falling in love again.

it only feels this raw right now.

lost in the labyrinth of my mind.

you would break your back to make me break a smile.

you know how much i hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back.

karma.

you’re talking shit.

addicted to betrayal.

you’re terrified to look down.

you’ll see the glare of everyone you burned.

it’s coming back around.

karma is my boyfriend.

karma’s a relaxing thought. aren’t you envious that for you it’s not?

my pennies made your crown.

don’t you know that cash ain’t the only price?

ask me what i learned from all those years.

ask me what i earned from all those tears.

ask me why so many fade, but i’m still here.

so many fade.

i’m still here.

karma is the thunder rattling your ground.

karma’s on your scent like a bounty hunter.

sweet nothing.

they said the end is coming.

the end is coming.

everyone’s up to something.

i find myself running home to your sweet nothings.

all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.

this happens all the time.

you should be doing more.

to you i can admit that i’m just too soft for all of it.

i’m just too soft for all of it.

mastermind.

the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned.

the touch of a hand lit the fuse.

checkmate, i couldn’t lose.

i couldn’t lose.

what if i told you none of it was accidental.

none of it was accidental.

the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me.

what if i told you i’m a mastermind?

i’m a mastermind.

now you’re mine.

we were born to be the pawn in every lover’s game.

if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

strategy sets the scene for the tale.

the first night that you saw me, i knew i wanted your body.

i wanted your body.

it was all my design.

no one wanted to play with me as a little kid.

i’ve been scheming.

i’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since.

i’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since to make them love me.

this is the first time i’ve felt the need to confess.

i’m only cryptic and machiavellian coz i care.

you knew the entire time.

you knew that i’m a mastermind.

the great war.

my knuckles were bruised like violets.

cursed you as i sleep talked.

spineless in my tomb of silence.

tore your banners down, took the battle underground.

flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur.

my hand was the one you reach for all throughout the great war.

i vowed not to cry anymore.

if we survived the great war.

you drew up some good faith treaties.

you said i have to trust more freely.

you were playing with fire.

maybe it’s the past that’s talking.

maybe it’s the past that’s talking-- telling me to punish you for things you never did.

i justified it.

i vowed not to fight anymore.

i vowed not to fight anymore if we survived the great war.

got a sense i’d been betrayed.

that was the night i nearly lost you.

i nearly lost you.

i really thought i’d lost you.

we can plant a memory garden.

there’s no morning glory, it was war, it wasn’t fair.

we will never go back to that bloodshed.

we’re burned for better.

i vowed i would always be yours.

i would always be yours.

paris.

all the outfits were terrible.

i’m so in love that i might stop breathing.

i was taken by the view.

romance is not dead.

romance is not dead if you keep it just yours.

levitate above all the messes made.

i want to brainwash you into loving me forever.

high infidelity.

i didn’t know you were keeping count.

you said i was freeloading.

put on your records and regret me.

i bent the truth too far tonight.

i was dancing around it.

do i really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?

seemed like the right thing at the time.

there’s so many different ways that you can kill the one you love.

there’s so many different ways that you can kill the one you love. the slowest way is never loving them enough.

do i really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

glitch.

we were supposed to be just friends.

maybe i’ll see you out some weekend.

i think there’s been a glitch.

i’m fastening myself to you.

i’m not even sorry.

i was supposed to sweat you out.

our love is blacking out.

the system’s breaking down.

i’d go back to wanting dudes who give nothing.

would’ve, could’ve, should’ve.

if you tasted poison you could’ve spit me out.

if you’d never looked my way i would’ve stayed on my knees.

i damn sure never would’ve danced with the devil.

the pain was heaven.

now that i’m grown, i’m scared of ghosts.

memories feel like weapons.

i wish you’d left me wondering.

if you never touched me i would’ve gone along with the righteous.

you made me feel important.

you made me feel important, then you tried to erase us.

you tried to erase us.

you’re a crisis of my faith.

if i’d only played it safe.

i miss who i used to be.

the tomb won’t close.

i regret you all the time.

i can’t let this go.

i fight with you in my sleep.

the wound won’t close.

i keep on waiting for a sign.

if clarity’s in death, then why won’t this die?

living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts.

give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.

dear reader.

if it feels like a trap, you’re already in one.

just run.

pick somewhere and just run.

desert all your past lives.

if you don’t recognise yourself, that means you did it right.

never take advice from someone who’s falling apart.

bend when you can, snap when you have to.

you don’t have to answer just cause they asked you.

the greatest of luxuries is your secrets.

when you aim at the devil, make sure you don’t miss.

i prefer hiding in plain sight.

you should find another guiding light.

#taylor swift rp meme #taylor swift lyric meme #taylor swift sentence starters #music rp meme #music sentence starters #midnights rp meme #rp meme #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #lyric rp meme #lyric sentence starters #lyrics rp meme

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writtenbymkl · 1 year

Text

[13:14 pm]

word count: 1,085

a/n: i came up with a new word, haechanitis, and i think i have it. i’m severely into this dude… like i know mark is my man but haechan … it was the concert that did it for me, if you guys had seen the pictures i got and the amount of times he looked at my camera, you would understand me （◞‸◟） not proofread btw !

̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊

“so, how’s it going with your little crush on haechan?” your friend asks as she scrolls through her phone.

“dude, it’s not a crush,” you say as you push her shoulder. “i don’t even talk to him.”

you’ve learned a lot from observing him, not to be creepy but every time your head turned to look at him, he was always doing something new. like when his friend jaemin is feeding him, he shakes his head when he opens his mouth. or when his other friend renjun, shoves him away whenever he gets too close to him.

you could honestly go on about haechan but you prefer to keep it to yourself. he’s way too out of your league and you’re too introverted to ever find the confidence in going up to him. unlike him who seems to strike up a conversation with whoever he comes across.

your friend notices that you’re lost in thoughts when she asks, “should i invite him over? i mean, he is my partner for this project we’re working on.” your eyes widen and you feel panic strike as your heart rate goes up.

“no! i will kill you and then myself,” you threaten while holding both her hands down, which in fact were about to wave him over. unfortunately for you, she still has her mouth.

“hey haechan!” you shut your eyes so hard and you feel your heart about to explode because you know he’s gonna walk over any second. he can’t resist talking to anyone who calls his name, that’s how he is.

“i’m leaving,” you state as you let go of her hands and rapidly grab your stuff, shoving just about anything into your backpack. you need to leave before he steps foot in your space.

“y/n, you cannot be serious…” she trails off as she watches you put your backpack on. all you can do is huff in frustration.

“i’m 100% serious. you know i can’t be in the same vicinity as haech-“ you’re cut off by the legend himself.

“woah, what did i do?” haechan questions with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. you look at your friend and all she can do is offer you a sorry smile. you’re gonna do what you do best, which is to disappear any time something embarrassing happens because right now, you want the ground to swallow you whole.

“i gotta go, i’ll see you some other time, bye!” you exclaim to your friend as you speed walk out of the scene. you don’t turn your back once to see their reactions, all you know is that you have to get out there before you have to see haechan’s face up close for longer than five seconds.

“fuck, that was close,” you whisper to yourself as you lean against the wall outside. you had finally calmed down a bit since you were nowhere near him.

“what was close?” you let out a loud yelp as you turn around to see haechan standing behind you. well now you were definitely fucked. you must’ve killed a god in your past life because why was this happening to you?

“jesus, you scared me! what’s wrong with you?!” you exclaimed as you held a hand to your chest. you probably look like that spongebob meme right now. haechan just stares at you in amusement while crossing his arms.

“what’s wrong with me? what’s wrong with you?” he asks while nodding his head in your direction.

“i don’t know why you followed me, but i’m leaving. bye.” you say as you turn your back to him. you don’t mean to be an asshole but since you’ve never spoken a word to him, this is all that can come out.

his hand grabs ahold of your wrist before you can even walk two steps. “tch,” he tuts. “where do you think you’re going, y/n?” your eyes widen because how does he know your name. but then you relax as you realize your friend probably told him after you ran off.

“i’m going to study, now if you could let go of my wrist, that would be amazing,” you smile at him and watch as he lets go of your wrist before letting out a small ‘sorry’.

“i just wanted to know,” he starts while holding a finger under his chin showing his thinking face. “why you can’t be in the same vicinity as me, as you said.” he finishes while looking at you. you can’t look him in the eyes because if you do, you’ll confess right then and there. but then again, you’ve always been blunt since your middle school days.

“because i like you,” you state bluntly. haechan looks taken aback not expecting a straight and honest answer from you considering you were running away a few minutes ago. “now can i go? you don’t really know me so it doesn’t matter.”

“w-well-“ he stutters, still in shock from your confession. who would’ve thought you’d be the one to gag him. you sigh and stare at the ground bored. it’s not like you’re not used to rejection, you’re just tired of them wasting your time doing it.

“i’m gonna go now…” you trail off, taking steps backwards and pointing behind you. haechan, still in a slightly frozen state, nods but quickly shakes off the dazed state.

“wait, can i get your number?” he asks while quickly pulling out his phone, hands slightly shaking. you must be hallucinating at this point because there was no way lee haechan was asking for your number.

“mine? why?” you quickly ask. he shoves his phone in your hands and smiles encouraging you to type your information in.

“so we can get to know each other, duh,” he says while playfully rolling his eyes. now you’re the one in shock, he just pulled an uno reverse on you. you type in your contact name and phone number knowing there’s no way to get out of this.

“i might not know you at all or like you, but i’m sure i won’t have a hard time falling for you.” he says while giving a loving smile.

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backupblogforjg · 2 years

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Why Darius is a much better person than Fandom gives him credit for, and why it matters.

We have all seen them. About this scene.

81872698236412 memes, comics and textposts where Darius doesn’t give a damn when Luz is in mortal danger, but suddenly starts caring when he hears that Hunter is also trapped.

Now, Fandom seems to love that take, but I loathe it. Gets under my skin, drives me up the wall, can’t fucking stand it.

Why?

Because if Darius were truly the kind of person who is totally cool with letting a little girl die as a result of his own fuck-up, then he’d make a terrible father for Hunter.

The main point of Hunter’s character is that he is horrifically traumatised because he has spent his life with a guardian who is a serial killer of children. Thus, for his recovery, it’s absolutely necessary that his new guardian is a compassionate person. The last thing Hunter needs is a new guardian who is also cool with causing child death.

If Darius were truly the kind of man who think “LOL fuck your kid only mine is worth saving!” then it doesn’t matter if he loves Hunter, he simply wouldn’t be emotionally equipped to take care of a traumatised kid.

LUCKILY DARIUS ISN’T THAT KIND OF MAN.

Here is the evidence that Darius was not telling Raine to abandon Luz.

1) Darius was shocked to learn that Hunter was trapped. But there is absolutely no reason for him to believe that Luz was trapped while Hunter wasn’t.

The last time Darius saw Hunter, Hunter and Luz were practically entangled together over the circle, so why would only Luz be trapped?

Oh, but maybe Darius and Raine went back to the alley and saw Eda leave alone!

Sure, that could have happened. Except that Hunter left both his artificial staff and his mask in the alley, so if anything going back there would have made it even more obvious that something bad happened TO HUNTER.

On top of that, Hunter’s palisman was in Eda’s hair as she left, and he definitely wouldn’t have let her take Flapjack willingly.

2) Darius had repeatedly asked Raine to recruit Eda, but Raine said no because they wanted her to be safely away from the battle.

So, first of all, Darius wouldn't actually care about revealing himself to Eda. The only reason he is keeping her out of the loop is out of respect for Raine’s wish to keep her safe.

Darius knows that Eda's curse is absolutely necessary to stop the Day Of Unity, but still chooses to stay away from her for her safety despite knowing full well that without her they are at a massive disadvantage. The whole point of the plan to enter Belos’ mind (an insanely reckless plan with very little chance of gaining anything) was that Darius and Raine were desperate to find any possible intel to figure out a way to stop Belos without Eda’s help. And, after that plan failed, Eda was their only hope.

So, no, Darius wouldn’t give a damn about “blowing his cover” with Eda. He is keeping hidden to protect her, not himself.

Second, if Luz died in Belos' mind, Eda would immediately charge at the castle in a roaring rampage of revenge and get killed, making the whole attempt to keep her safe null and void.

3) Here is what Dana Terrace says about Darius in Cissy Jones’ stream about the S2 Finale.

Even if he's still like, a little chaotic, like he has his own plans, like... "even if people get hurt, it's only the small ones" he says, he'll say stuff like that, but at the end of the day he has his priorities, and his priorities are to help people and to care for those that he loves.

That doesn’t sound like the kind of guy who’d watch a little girl get dragged into mortal danger because of his own actions, and go “eh, not my problem!”

That sounds like the guy who sacrificed his day off (presumably his one day off in a year, if Head Witches have the same workload as people in the Emperor’s Coven) to make sure that some kidnapped students were returned safely home.

IN CONCLUSION:

Most likely, Darius and Raine realised that something bad had happened to the kids and were investigating, and Darius stopped Raine from getting too close to the Owl House because he wanted them to be cautious for Eda’s sake, but when he heard that his boy was in immediate danger he freaked out and almost threw all caution to the wind.

Darius cares the most about Hunter because he clearly loves the boy, BUT he wouldn’t have abandoned Luz either. Because Darius is fundamentally a good person, and that’s why he should adopt Hunter.

#toh #the owl house #toh darius #darius deamonne #toh hunter #golden guard #raine whispers #hunter wittebane #hunter deamonne

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phoenixyfriend · 2 years

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I think all negotiations with Dooku during the war should be done through Jocasta.

@atagotiak (Tia):

Au where Qui-Gon survives, Dooku still goes evil. Dooku has to deal with the bitter divorcee and the estranged kid Oh hey, official communication about something that is publicly broadcast or whatever A fairly small percentage of the population tunes in because hey, even if it’s important it’s boring political stuff But then Jocasta and Dooku are… well they’re mostly taking this seriously, it is important. But as old friends/lovers who miss each other but are also very bitter they can’t resist being kinda bitchy at each other Anyways. Memes

There's at least one "you couldn't even remember our 20th anniversary, how can you be trusted to run an entire half of the galaxy" moment, and it spreads like wildfire.

Just like that, EVERYONE is watching, just in case there's more juicy gossip about Behind The Scenes Jedi.

"You never even reached out to your grandpadawans, and then the first time you meet them--"

I just love the idea of Jocasta airing the dirty laundry, and because Dooku already admitted that, while Jedi don't marry he was as close to that as possible with this woman, all her comments are read into with "bitter that her husband ran off" instead of "Jedi angling to spike the war higher."

Tia:

Also. Accidentally using nicknames Also also, pointedly using titles I’m just imagining Dooku slipping up and calling her Jo and Jocasta calling him Count in response

"Better than any soap opera" -- Coruscant Daily

"A delightful and sordid look into the private lives of Jedi, current and former" -- Alderaan Gazette

"Exclusive interview with Count Dooku's grandson, General Kenobi, following scandalous accusations by Madame Nu is the Order" -- Herald of Theed (The very first line of that one is Obi-Wan insisting "grandpadawan, not grandson.")

@thisarenotarealblog (Docc):

"we're not blood related. I'm from stewjon and he's from serenno. It would take a large amount of extraordinary coincidences for that to be the case. " "Master Kenobi I'm given to understand that much of your life is composed of extraordinary coincidences." "....no, don't do this to me, I already checked"

Anakin, face too close to the microphone: Senator Amidala says that dependent health insurance cuts off at 26 on Serreno. The galaxy is interpreting the lineage as adoptive parenting, so Dooku should be paying for my health care. Reporter: Isn't your healthcare already free--" Anakin: Irrelevant.

Tia:

Someone films a rant that Jocasta def didn’t mean to make public: “Hurting his grandpadawans, starting a war, invading planets, vandalizing libraries….”

#Dooku #Count Dooku #Jocasta Nu #Dookasta #Doocasta #Obi Wan Kenobi #Anakin Skywalker #star wars #the clone wars #galaxy's messiest divorce #phoenix posts

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mst3kproject · 1 year

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Goncharov

Why the hell is an MST3K blog rising from the dead to review a forgotten Martin Scorcese film? I'd never heard of this movie until it suddenly became a meme, but I had a day off work and I figured I might as well see what all the fuss was about. Now I want to talk about what I saw, and this is the only movie blog I have, so I'm doing it here.

Ivan Goncharov is the biggest, baddest motherfucker east of the iron curtain, richer than a tsar and colder than a Siberian winter. He's got a beef with Neapolitan mafioso Mario Giglioli, so he heads to sunny Italy to confront him in person. His closest confidante, Andrey, thinks it's suicide to do this on Giglioli's home turf but accompanies Goncharov anyway out of loyalty. What follows is a two-hour dick-measuring contest as Goncharov and Giglioli try to out-intimidate each other, culminating in an orgy of gunfire where only one will be left standing... and this is the kind of movie where you can't take it for granted that it'll be the guy whose name is the title.

That's the ostensible plot, anyway. What makes Goncharov a far more interesting film than such an outline might imply is that the argument between the mobsters is just a backdrop. Having set up Goncharov's hard as steel, cold as ice reputation in the first act, the movie then sets about deconstructing it. Goncharov goes from a terrifying figure devoid of all morality to a tragic antihero, a man who has come to believe his own hype so completely that he can no longer let himself be human.

This is demonstrated mainly by watching the breakdown of his relationships over the course of the tense three days in Naples. The most important person in Goncharov's life is Andrey, the only one he comes near being vulnerable with. Their relationship is depicted as very touchy-feely in a literal sort of way, with Andrey helping Goncharov with his coat and shoes, lighting cigarettes for him, and touching his shoulder or arm as Goncharov confides in him. The framing emphasizes these touches in a very homoerotic way, and I don't think I've got my tumblr goggles on here. These guys have fucked.

As Goncharov becomes more and more obsessed with being tougher and more ruthless than Giglioli, whom he sees as an effeminate softie, Andrey tries to persuade him that the other man is not worth this sort of obsession. Whatever Giglioli did to insult Goncharov (we never find out), Andrey is of the opinion that they should just leave a dead horse in the asshole's bed and move on. Goncharov's pride will not allow him to do that, and the less subtle Andrey is in his attempts to dissuade him, the more Goncharov pushes him away, finally abandoning him entirely. The tragedy of the ending comes from the fact that Andrey refuses to abandon Goncharov in turn.

We also see Goncharov with his wife Katya. He is frequently cruel to her, and she tolerates it because he gives her expensive gifts and because she is seeking a vicarious mending of her relationship with her abusive father - she was never able to earn his love, but perhaps she can earn Goncharov's. This is doomed to failure, as much because of Goncharov as because Katya doesn't actually want it to succeed. Nursing a black eye, Katya pours her heart out to a bartender, Sofia, who tries to help her escape... but this cannot work out, either. As Katya herself says, she doesn't know who she is without her issues.

I am pleased to note, by the way, that every single major character in the movie is named and I can remember them all, which is a bit of a treat for me (I need to watch good movies more often). The only exception is Goncharov himself. The end credits list him as Ivan, but nobody ever calls him that, not even Andrey or Katya. In a flashback scene with his parents, neither calls him by name. This flashback, fascinatingly, is filmed in the first person, looking through Goncharov's own eyes. We are not allowed to see him as a younger, softer man. He refuses to show that side of himself even in the privacy of his memories.

These quieter moments contrast with scenes of ever-escalating brutality, as the Russians and Italians try to force each other to back down by the murder of underlings. The fact that it is literally a contest, and that Goncharov is aware of this and describes it as such, makes the worsening violence ever more meaningless. The death of Giglioli's confessor is particularly awful, and the way Goncharov's goons treat the chapel has to be ten times worse if you're Catholic (fun fact: this scene is apparently removed from the Italian version on Netflix, which must make what Andrey says while waiting for the train into a hell of a non sequitur).

At the climax, the two really can't do anything but kill each other, because it's the only place left to go. Giglioli's priest and mistress are dead. Goncharov's men are almost all dead or out of action, and Goncharov believes Andrey to be dead. The initial insult, whatever it was, is no longer relevant. They have pushed each other to a place where reconciliation is unthinkable. Whoever blinks first loses, but both have already lost so much that victory means nothing. Worse, each recognizes that the other is in the same position, and neither can acknowledge it.

This means Goncharov can also moonlight as an examination of violence in media. Why do movies showcase violence, and why do we watch it? The initial posturing serves a purpose - Goncharov wants Giglioli to know he's here to personally demand an apology, and Giglioli wants Goncharov to know he's outnumbered and should quit while he still can. But once it becomes an exercise in one-up-manship, the 'messages’ vanish and the men are now killing for the sake of killing. Violence in movies can often be gore for gore's sake, pulling out more and more stops in the effort to shock an audience that has been desensitized by years and years of this. That is what Goncharov and Giglioli are doing to each other. Truly distressing moments like the fate of the priest, or what Giuseppe "Icepick Joe" Cozzolino (dressed as a maid!) does to Sofia when he assumes she's Katya because she was in Katya's hotel room, make us wonder why we're watching this - and the mobsters wonder why they're doing it.

In the end, it's all just a blood-soaked version of the sunk cost fallacy. Goncharov had come too far in his vendetta to stop now. Andrey has followed him too far to turn back. Katya has been married to him too long to leave. Of course, any of them could quit at any time and escape from this terrible spiral, but they are unwilling to entertain the possibility. Like Goncharov himself, Andrey and Katya are prisoners of the identities they have built for themselves, and because their identities are so tied to him, they have to go down with him.

One thing I haven't seen a lot of discussion of on tumblr is the way the film uses the contrast in climate. Goncharov in Moscow is in his element. When you see his breath in the wintry air it's as if he's breathing smoke like a dragon. While other people huddle in the cold he stands up straight and tall. In Naples, on the other hand, he is out of place. He wears lighter clothing, but continues to choose long coats and upturned collars, while Giglioli goes around with his shirt unbuttoned. This should serve to emphasize Giglioli's home field advantage and yet, as we see through Goncharov's eyes, they just make Giglioli look soft. His apparent weakness makes Goncharov want to appear even stronger.

On a related note, it is interesting to me how sunlight is treated as something very unfriendly. In Russia, it glitters on ice crystals in the air and lights up condensation, harsh and white and giving no warmth whatsoever. In Italy it bakes and shimmers on stone and asphalt, casting harsh, black-edged shadows and emphasizing creased brows and frowning mouths. Outdoor scenes are, as far as I can tell, always hostile interactions. Even indoor scenes in natural light: the priest dies with harsh sunlight streaming in through the broken chapel window. When characters are softer with each other, it is always under artificial illumination. Sunlight is too bright, too revealing. People like this need some shadows to hide in.

Did I like this movie? That's a tough question. It's not really the type of movie you 'like'. It's definitely powerful and well-constructed, thoroughly absorbing and all that. There's a taste of Greek tragedy in the inevitability of the ending and the way Goncharov is eaten alive by hubris. But I wouldn't say I liked it. The characters are all terrible people whose arcs involve them getting worse, and the whole thing feels deeply claustrophobic, as if I, too, am trapped in Goncharov's downward spiral. When characters realize their mistakes, it is only when it's too late to correct them - but only in their own minds. It's a very pessimistic story, about human beings who are overcome by the very worst parts of themselves.

Is Goncharov deserving of all those glowing reviews? Yes. Was it unfairly snubbed at the Oscars because the academy was turned off by the violence? Probably. Will I ever watch it again? Fuck, no.

Excuse me, I have to go watch some Pixar movies if I ever want to smile again.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #goncharov #70's #there are horses in this movie #unreality #in case you've been on twitter or something all day #this movie doesn't exist.#i read six text posts and pulled this out of my ass at one in the morning

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