#I believe) and again even if it WERE the case and it was a fluke or a rewrite or whatever
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What Cyberpunk DeadBoy Means and What it's Potentially Foreshadowing (aka very complicated analysis that makes a lot of sense and could happen depending on how colorpalet is feeling while writing the story)
Now I'm seeing so many people like running around wondering what this event could mean for the future for multiple reasons and like I've made like one post throwing my hat into the ring.
I've been frustrated with people's unwillingness to realise that this comm is prob foreshadowing because this is not the first time Colorpalet has hidden foreshadowing into comms weither subtely or not
Exemple's being :
-Akito's second comm foreshadowing his third event
-Lower's cover art literally foreshadowing what would happen to Mafuyu's phone in her event
-88 vocals being emurui and nenekasa foreshadowing the kind of dynamic the disbandement arc had with nenekasa wanting to move forward with emurui being scared of isolation
-Probably way better exemples that I forgot
I've seen people make Some assumptions which I don't agree with but there is one thing I think is true
There is 100 pourcent gonna be struggle between corporation/reality and WxS.
Purely because that's been WxS's entire theme since the beginning. They constantly bash you over the head with the theme of compromising with reality and the importance of dreams. In fact the pick of Maiki-P is not at all surprising as he basically has the same message WxS has just... well harsher.
The Big thing people have ignored however is by focusing on the lyrics, they've ignored something that's personally to me even more telling and that's the line distribution
We know for a fact colorpalet loves to mess around with line distribution, weither it's to make characters say lines that fit them or to kind of foreshadow their headspace.
Now something Big happens with the line distribution of Cyberpunk Deadboy that i've seen NO ONE notice and that's in the last chorus (that and also Tsukasa's lines which people have pointed out but it works less on it's own which is why I'm gonna analyse his lines afterwards).
This is the only time the chorus is like that, the others have a much more even distribution.
In fact the distribution choice makes it look like the rest of WxS is Talking to Rui.
It's even more evident considering the lines they chose to make WxS sing compared to only just Rui
Emu/Tsukasa/Nene saying kimi (you)
Rui saying boku (i)
Which honestly makes me think this is colorpalet foreshadowing some kind of issue reguarding specifically Rui. Remember Emu's second event ? The story of Rilley whose imagination was crippled by the industry to the point where he didn't really have any artistic vision until Emu's grandpa helped him.
In fact remember how the flashback that showcases that has Rilley working on a film
Now we get to Tsukasa's line which have been pointed out to be kind of sus but it's not just his lines.
Tsukasa refuses to sing with Rui (unless it's a line they all sing together but i consider those exceptions). In fact pretty much everyone has a duo line with each other except those two.
In fact in the section where Rui has duo lines with everybody, Tsukasa is the only one he doesnt sing with and the visuals make it clear that it's something that we're supposed to find strange
And then we of course have Tsukasa's solo lines
Tsukasa is the only one that say "fuzakeruna" outside of Rui (of course ignoring entire group WxS lines) and i've seen some people pointed out how it sounds like he's saying it in response to Rui's lines. Which I agree with.
Then we got his big boy solo lines
These lines will make more sense with my theory/analysis but right now if we go with the idea that WxS in the last chorus were speaking to Rui and Tsukasa in this comm refuses to sing with Rui then this implies those lines are Tsukasa speaking to Rui.
And this is where the insanity begins because people have pointed out a concerning trend with Ruikasa that I know some people use for shipping fuel but for me kinda feels more so like foreshadowing.
IGNORING all the ARG ass weirdness of the Fixer 2dmv, this choice to switch Ruikasa's colors have to mean something in my opinion outside of just wholesome shipping influence especially considering the two songs they do this are less than jovial.
What this kind of color switching signifies to me is that, Ruikasa somehow are/or will switch places.
And with that let me bring back Tsukasa's lines
These lines stand out because Tsukasa before remembering his dreams was extremely shallow only doing things for fame and probably the money that would come with it.
Now if you think about everything I've layed out I think you can gain a pretty clear picture.
Of Rui falling into the trap Rilley did, becoming jaded and losing the true motivation of his dream (or at least starting to have doubts). Becoming stuck with the struggle of managing dreams and reality.
Rui's costume even has a mask which can be a metaphor for his artistic voice and individuality being silenced .
Which now you get into the line distribution where WxS is implied to be talking to Rui.
And you get to Tsukasa, who is refusing to sing with Rui and in fact seems to be arguing with Rui if we really want to overthink it. In fact almost switching their roles from the main story.
Because Tsukasa has grown now and how else to show that growth than to switch Rui and Tsukasa's perspectives/roles.
Now how this would happen really depends since there are multiple ways they can go about it with the time they have.
There is obviously mystery dude dude (who i know now is sakaki) who still gives me bad vibes. However there is actually two way they can make mystery dude trigger this sort of plot :
-Mystery dude is malicious and actively manipulates/confronts Rui to make him rethink his worldview
-Mystery dude isn't malicious but instead is just jaded/has been through a lot of industry bullshit which ends up rubbing off on Rui accidentally
But you can even just not have mystery dude involved with this at all (which i doubt but still) because you know what loose plotpoint is still lingering over WxS, fucking Asahi
Rui still has not talked about Asahi to WxS, in fact Curtain Call ends on an explicit cliffhanger which is never really emotionally concluded (at least in Rui's own events, technically the arc ender did but there are still a lot of loose threads from that arc). Why would Colorpalet make Asahi come back after Rui graduates, they could've just had him disappear into the sunset but instead they hint at his potential comeback.
Unless Rui will be forced to again confront similar feelings he did during Curtain Call this time with possibly an added layer of whatever happens during WxS's freelance arc.
Anyways yeah this is overly complicated but then again colorpalet is not being easy with us so...yeah.
#project sekai#pjsk rui#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlandxshowtime#project sekai theory#project sekai analysis#rui kamishiro analysis#wxs rui#wxs tsukasa#tsukasa tenma#rui#cyberpunk deadboy#i'm sorry if this giant wall of text makes sense to nobody but me but i need this to leave myt mind otherwise i explode#and also i'm not looking at twitter for theories of this event because twitter is the breeding ground of bad takes so idk if i'm the only#one but it's very interesting#anyways i really don't want any “but what if the comm is not at all related to the event at all” because we've had active confirmation#colorpalet describe events and give at least on sentence prompts to commissioners (which we know pinnochioP and the creators of Mr.Showtime#I believe) and again even if it WERE the case and it was a fluke or a rewrite or whatever#it doesnt change the fact colorpalet made an active choice to make the line distribution and 2dmv like this#this is the motherfuckers that foreshadowed an arc ender years before through a fucking song cover art#complain about their writing all you want these motherfuckers love little detail oriented shit like this for better and for worse
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Tell Me "Don't", So I Can Crawl Back In Part 2
Part 1 Part 3
Eddie Munson was having a crisis. No, maybe that was too strong a word. This was just a minor existential examination of everything he’d ever known. Because up until today, it had been a known truth of the universe that all jocks were irredeemable assholes whose sole purpose in life was to make Eddies worse. And for the most part, that was still what he believed. Except, now there was big, glaring dent in this truth. A big, glaring dent in the form of Steve Harrington.
When he’d looked up and seen that stupid, handsome face, he’d immediately known he was about to have a bad time. Would probably have his papers stomped on, maybe a few books ripped. So one can forgive Eddie his momentary lack of brain function when Steve actually got down and started to help. And then he apologized. Like, actually apologized. And he seemed sincere. Which had completely knocked the wind out of Eddie’s sails. He’d been so prepared to say something scathing, to mock him and then hightail it out of there before he got his ass kicked.
But then, to make it worse, Steve knew about Dungeons and Dragons. And he babysat. He babysat nerdy kids who played Dungeons and Dragons, and he offered that information up like it was nothing. Like it didn’t rock Eddie to his very fucking core. And then, of course, he delivered the killing blow in the form of a genuine smile. Like he was made of fucking sunshine.
Goddamn it. Eddie had done such a good job at keeping his horrible, ill-advised crushes on straight boys under control. Because sure, he’d looked at Steve before. It was impossible not to, when he looked like freaking Apollo, all golden tanned and built like a dream. Being that Eddie was the only queer guy he knew of in Hawkins, it wasn’t like he had any choice but to have crushes on straight guys. Pickings were slim, and Eddie was starving.
So yes, he’d snuck a look at Steve in the past. Either in the halls, or as he jogged around the track field, or on one memorable occasion when he’d accidentally stumbled into a swim meet and caught an eyeful of tight little swim trunks. But that was fine. Looking was fine.
Only, now he’d talked to him. And Steve was no longer just a hot, mean jock. Because he hadn’t seemed mean at all. He’d seemed pretty nice, actually. Maybe that was what happened, when a person lost everything that had once made them what they were. Now, Steve had to reinvent what he was. Well, if that was the case, he was off to a pretty good start. Maybe Eddie could give him a few pointers. Take him under his wing. Maybe Steve would---
No. No! He was not going to go down that rabbit hole. That was dangerous. What he needed to do was stay far away from Steve Harrington. That pretty boy was nothing but trouble, and Eddie had more than enough of that in his life as it was.
He dragged his pillow up and pressed it over his face before screaming into it. This was ridiculous. He couldn’t actually be this weak. One nice smile sent his way, and he was ready to drop all his carefully crafted walls. It was pathetic.
Eddie rolled off his bed and climbed to his feet. This was fine. It wasn’t like Steve was ever going to talk to him again. Today had been a total fluke. From now on he could go back to sneaking glances across crowded rooms. So really, there was no need to dwell on this. He repeated that sentiment as he made his way out of his room and to the kitchen, where he proceeded to make the worlds loudest bowl of cereal. And the thing was, he didn’t even realize how hard he was slamming the cabinets until Wayne looked up from the tv.
“Eds, what on Gods green earth has gotten you so worked up?”
He huffed. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”
Wayne gave him a look. “Now I know that ain’t true. The only time you slam shit is when you’ve gotten yourself all worked up about something. So, spill.”
Eddie growled and shoved the milk roughly back into the fridge. “It’s just… Gah!” He scooped up a too big bite of cereal and shoveled into his mouth. “Stupid boys! And their stupid smiles!”
Wayne, of course, knew about Eddie. Had know for years. But they didn’t talk about it. Not beyond the initial talk they’d had, when Wayne had assured him that he would love and support Eddie no matter what. And then, after that, the very awkward and horrible discussion about safe sex. Which wasn’t an issue for Eddie, considering he was a virgin.
“Well,” Wayne said slowly. “I can’t say I relate. But, yeah. I understand the sentiment.”
Eddie shook his head and glared into his bowl. “He thinks he can just smile at me, and I’ll forget about what a douche bag he was.”
Wayne hummed. “No, you don’t want to be getting mixed up with that sort.”
“Exactly!” Eddie cried, pointing his spoon at his uncle. “Exactly.”
Without another word, he turned and scampered back into his room. Once he was safely tucked into his cocoon of blankets, he let himself ruminate on the problem of Steve. Because really, what sort of name was that. Steve. Just a boring old name. The kind of name Eddie imagined a mailman to have.
Steve could be a mailman, if he wanted to. He’d look good, in those khaki shorts. Eddie could picture him, biceps bulging as he hefted a large package to Eddie’s door. Maybe he’d be hot and would need to come inside to cool down. And once inside, maybe he’d feel the need to deliver a different sort of package… No! Shit, no no no.
Eddie clamped his teeth down on his spoon hard enough to hurt. This was ridiculous. Harrington didn’t deserve a starring role in his fantasies. It wasn’t like he’d done anything great. So what, he’d picked up a few papers. Big deal. No, it was imperative that Eddie put Steve out of his mind completely.
That became an issue the very next day. Eddie was situated at the head of the lunch table, just like always. His pack of merry freaks lined the table, already talking over each other about one thing or another. Gareth and Jeff had their head bowed together, discussing something to do with D&D. Josie and Mic were arguing over something that had happened in history class, while Grant and Todd discussed a movie they’d gone to see over the past weekend. Eddie grinned as he observed his friends. This was his domain, and there was peace.
At least there was, until out of the corner of his eyes, Eddie spotted an approaching enemy. And okay, maybe it was a bit much to call Steve an enemy. Before yesterday, sure. But now… Steve was an anomaly. An anomaly that was rapidly approaching their table with a tray in hand. Eddie sat frozen, his eyes wide, all the way up until Steve stopped beside him. The rest of the table seemed to have noticed him as well, as they’d fallen silent. Steve smiled down at Eddie as if he weren’t doing the strangest thing that had ever happened at Hawkins High.
“Hey Eddie, what’s up?”
He could physically feel his brain reeling, searching in his files for what the appropriate response to this situation was. All he could come up with was a garbled “Wha?”
Steve didn’t seem phased. “I said, what’s up? How’re you doing?”’
Eddie blinked rapidly. “Uh, yeah man. I’m fine. Did you… need something?”
“Oh, actually.” Steve reached around into his back pocket and pulled out a folded black square of cloth. A very familiar one, at that. He’d honestly thought he’d lost it. But to see it now, held out in Steve Harrington’s hand, was almost too much. Eddie choked.
“You dropped this yesterday, and I wanted to give it back. Wasn’t sure if it had any significant meaning to you.”
Yeah, you could say that. Eddie reached out slowly, almost afraid Steve was about to rip his hand away and call him out. Tell the whole school what a black hanky meant, and what that made Eddie. But that didn’t happen. Steve allowed the cloth to slip through his fingers, all the while wearing that same casual grin.
“Oh, um. Thanks dude.”
“It’s no problem,” Steve said with a shrug.
Eddie expected him to leave, now that he’d done his daily good deed or whatever. But he didn’t. Steve continued to stand beside him, looking infuriatingly normal. As if this wasn’t so, so weird. Then, to make matters even more bizarre, he turned his smile on the rest of the table.
“Hey guys.”
It took monumental effort, but Eddie finally managed to drag his eyes away from Steve and back to his friends. It was actually pretty funny, the way they all wore matching expression of astoundment and confusion. Their faces looked the way Eddie felt on the inside. Nobody gave a response. When Steve still didn’t leave, Eddie cleared his throat.
“Uh, was there something else you needed?”
Steve’s expression shifted then, turning almost bashful. Eddie despised how cute he found it. “Actually, yeah. I was sort of wondering if I could sit with you?”
The silence that rang, following that statement, was loud. Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie could see his friends begin to shift with distrust. Because yeah, this was really bizarre. At least Eddie had some context, given their encounter yesterday. But had Steve really fallen so low, so desperate for friends, that he was willing to slum it with the freaks?
The awkwardness seemed to finally catch up with Steve, as he began to ramble. “It’s just, I was late to the cafeteria, so my usual table is taken. And, I mean, I guess I could go eat outside or in the library, but that seems like a level of lame I’d rather not fall to. So I saw you, and remembered I had to return your bandana. And then I saw you had extra chairs and figured I’d ask. But if not it’s fine, I can go—”
“No!”
Eddie wanted to clamp a hand over his own stupid mouth. Did he have to sound so loud and eager? Fuck, he really was pathetic. But at least Steve wasn’t much better, with the way he was staring down at Eddie with those big, brown eyes.
“I just mean, no, it’s fine. You can sit with us.” Eddie explained. His shin received a hard kick from under the table, but he ignored it. “If his highness wishes to dine with the peasants, who am I to deny him?”
Steve rolled his eyes. “I already told you, I’m not a king anymore.”
“Ah!” Eddie cried, leaping to his feet. “A fallen heir. How tragic. Well, I always have room in my court for a weary traveler.”
What the fuck was he doing? He should be telling Steve to go away, to leave them alone. There was no way this was going to be a good thing for his newfound straight boy crush. And yet his mouth seemed to have a mind of its own, that filthy traitor. And it was worse, when Steve lit up like Eddie had just told him today was second Christmas. Because oh no. Now Eddie wanted to see that again. He wanted to please Steve Harrington.
“Oh, cool. Thanks. I can sit down at the end, if you want.”
Yeah, that would be good. Put some distance between them. Of course, his stupid fucking mouth had other ideas. “No, it’s fine. Just pull a chair up next to me.”
Fuck! That wasn’t what he’d meant to say! God dammit. But it was too late, because Steve was already beaming like a kid at Disneyland. Eddie watched as he set his tray down, then walked to a nearby table and stole a chair to drag over. He shot a panicked glance at his friends, and found that they were all looking at him like he’s lost his mind. Gareth’s face very clearly said “What the hell are you doing?” Eddie sent him a desperate shrug.
Steve plopped down right beside Eddie. Which was so stupid, because there definitely wasn’t enough room at the head of the table for two people. It forced them to sit practically pressed against each other, with Steve’s warm thigh lining up perfectly with Eddie’s leg. Steve didn’t even seem to notice. He just cast a guileless smile around to the rest of the gang.
“So, what’s up?”
Based on all the blank faces, that seemed to be what everyone else was thinking. Jeff was the first that seemed to recover, as he cast a look between Steve and Eddie. “Uh, yeah, we’re kind of wondering the same thing.”
Steve ripped open a bag of chips and threw a few into his mouth. “Oh, shit, sorry. Did Eddie not tell you? We sort of started talking yesterday when I accidentally ran into him. We shared some minor bonding over my slight knowledge of Dungeons and Dragons, so we’re pretty much friends now.”
They were? What the fuck? This was news to him! The rest of the group was looking at Eddie now though, and he was really not prepared to unpack all this with an audience. He waved his hands.
“All of you, as you were. Stop gawking like heathens, just because we have a bit of fresh meat at the table.”
There were several shouts of indignation, but Eddie silenced them with a look. They would discuss this later, but not here. It wasn’t like Eddie was opposed to making a scene. Oh no, he engaged in a good bit of table theater at least once per week. But in this instance, he had no idea what to make of this new development. It was unnerving, and Eddie needed time to poke at it before he made any moves. Surely Steve had some ulterior motives. Whatever they were, Eddie would find them.
Reluctantly, the rest of the group went back to their conversations. Which left Eddie with Steve, who was looking at him with an amused curl to his mouth.
“What?”
“That was pretty impressive.”
“What was?”
Steve rolled his eyes. What a bitch. “How you got them all to listen to you. I could use a few pointers. Maybe then I could get the middle schoolers I look after to actually do what I say for once.”
Eddie grinned wide, showing off all his teeth. “It’s all in the presentation, Stevie boy. If you hold yourself like you’re the one in charge, everyone else will listen.”
“Yeah, that makes sense,” Steve said, chewing slowly. “That’s kind of what I used to do. It works better on people our age, though. Middle schoolers can see through an act like nobody’s business.”
“Well then, Stevie boy, make sure it’s not an act.”
Steve huffed. “That’s easier said than done. Especially when I have no clue what I’m doing most of the time. Fake it till you make it only works when you have at least a tiny bit of a plan. I’m just out here wandering through the dark.”
Well shit, that sounded awfully close to vulnerability. “Careful, Steve, you don’t want to go around admitting that sort of thing where predators might hear you.”
Steve quirked an eyebrow up. “What, like you?”
Huh. Nobody, ever, in their right mind had referred to Eddie as a predator. No, he figured he belonged somewhere in the small mammal category. Like a gopher, or maybe a mink. You could probably make a real nice fur coat out of him.
“Buddy boy, out of the two of us, I think you fall more in line with the predators.”
Steve hummed and popped a grape into his mouth. Eddie watched, transfixed, as Steve rolled the fruit around in his mouth. First to one cheek, then the other, before letting it pop back to the front of his teeth. What the fuck? Just eat the damn thing!
“I feel like I’m more of a golden retriever,” he eventually said. “Does that count as a predator?”
Eddie snorted. “No, it doesn’t. But I’m not so sure about a golden retriever. You’re too bitchy for that. Maybe a different breed.”
“And which breed would that be?” Steve asked, tilting his head.
“Don’t know. Can’t say I know you all that well.”
Steve narrowed his eyes, as though considering. “That’s fair. Tell you what, once we hang out a little more, you let me know which breed of dog you think I am. Okay?”
Eddie knew he should object, tell him to go find someone else to bother. But he was, in fact, a weak, weak man. And here Steve Harrington was, saying he wanted to hang out. And he was supposed to, what? Tell him no? Have restraint? Self-respect? It was overrated. Especially when compared with the opportunity to sit in the presence of a very pretty boy. So, Eddie found himself nodding his head, meeting Steve’s eye.
“Alright Harrington. You’ve got a deal.”
Read and follow along on AO3
#steddie#steddie fic#steve harrington#steve x eddie#eddie munson#these boys don't know what they've gotten themselves into
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Non is the hidden character and in this essay I will—
—endeavor to make a really good case for it.
This theory is predicated on the possibility of Non still being alive so for my purposes, I'm going to take that as fact. I'm taking a few liberties in places (to varying degrees of clownery) but that central point doesn't change.
This is a long one so get comfy. Okay? Okay.
As of episode 9, we can now be reasonably certain that none of the creepy shit the boys saw was of supernatural origin. They were hallucinations induced by the drug that New/Tan had them smoke in an attempt to get them to spill their secrets about what happened to Non.
Which brings me to Por.
We know two things about Por. One, that something—or someone—lured him out of the house and two, that he saw a ninth person on the house's CCTV.
Was the ninth person a hallucination? If he hadn't been lured out of the house, I'd say maybe. Since he was, let's assume he really did see someone for a second on the cameras.
Now, whoever it was didn't just get Por out of the house. He was specifically led down a predetermined path. When he gets outside and goes to the spot where he saw the figure, he looks down and sees a trail of blood.
He follows this trail and we all know what happens next. He gets deeper into the woods, away from the safety of the house, and starts to hear noises. He turns around, sees a hooded figure following him, and gets chased into a sharpened branch.
Even though New and Phi, although to a lesser extent, are the masterminds behind this little trip to the vacation house, at this moment they are both accounted for. New is playing jenga and getting high with Top and Fluke and Phi is up on the balcony having his dick bitten by Jin. They weren't the ones who lured Por and chased him.
Non did.
What, we're meant to believe that Por just happened to hallucinate a chase that happened to lead him right into a conveniently sharpened branch? And that of all the gin joints in all the cities in all the world, he just had to walk into mine the bad luck of encountering the one branch that was at the perfect height to impale him?
Which is, coincidentally enough, the exact death scenario that Non wrote in his script?
BE SERIOUS.
The only way Por meets this exact death is if Non was the one to kill him, and that leads me to the wire that ended up decapitating poor dead Uncle Dang. A wire which I truly don't think that was meant for him.
Let's follow this line of reasoning. We know that Top and Tee took the road when they went to get help for Por on the bike. This would ultimately fail as they got a flat tire and had to go back, having themselves a hallucination a piece along the way.
At that point, there was no wire stretched across the road. Once they got back to the house, no one would come outside again until morning when they heard Uncle Dang approach on his bike. The wire could've been strung up at any point after the boys got back.
Let's say that after ensuring Por got impaled, Non stuck around to see the aftermath and saw Tee and Top on the bike. Wouldn't it make more sense then for him to have strung up the wire to prevent anyone from leaving as opposed to stopping anyone from coming in?
Because if he is following his script then...
"But Leah," I hear you ask after having humored me thus far, "How would Non even know that the boys would be at the vacation house?"
This is where I sit back down at my vanity mirror in the dressing room at the circus and start taking some liberties.
For Non to have lived, someone had to help him. I mentioned yesterday that I was hopping on the Perth helped Non train and after giving it more thought, I'm doubling down. It's not only possible that Perth helped Non, he had to have done it, and not only because I want Non to be alive so very badly.
Why would Perth and his cheekbones be on the promotional poster for the finale (BESIDE NON I MIGHT ADD) if his character weren't important to the plot? Why would he be there if his only role was to massage Uncle Joe's shoulders?
Allow me to posit a Wild Ass Theory a la @respectthepetty :
If Perth's character helped Non and Known Criminal Keng escape Uncle Joe, that means the video where they were captured getting on a bus was authentic.
But because Uncle Joe and the mafia are still a threat, they can't just go chill somewhere. They have to go on the run and into hiding somewhere they won't be found.
Somewhere like a rarely visited vacation house in the middle of the forest with no contact with the outside world.
Or, alternatively, a creepy temple near that rarely visited vacation house.
Think about it. Non had already been to that house, he's familiar with it, he knows it's empty for long stretches of time and exactly how isolated it is. A terrified teenager fearing for his life is going to want to go somewhere familiar and that house (or the temple) is the perfect place to hide.
I don't think Non went to hide there with the intention, or the hope rather, that he'd get an opportunity for revenge one day. I think he just took advantage of a situation that fell into his lap.
The boys arrived in the afternoon and shit didn't start going down until later that night. That's plenty of time to sharpen a branch, lay down a blood trail, and put on his mask and cloak.
We know all the movie props and the camera and everything were still at the house so it stands to reason that Non had access to them. And we know he had access to the house because White found the knife that was used to cut Por's arms in the closet in the kitchen. The only way that knife could've gotten there is if Non put it there.
Not just any knife, by the way. It was Non's knife, the one that he brought to the house when they came to film and then used to cut Top.
I can't say with any certainty whether Non is acting on his own or with help, but I lean more toward him acting alone. Even if he escaped with Keng, it doesn't mean Keng is still with him all this time later and besides, I much prefer to imagine that ol' boy got eaten by a tiger.
One last thing. This isn't really part of my theory, more like support for it, but when Por is agonizing on the couch, he keeps saying sorry and trying to talk about what he and the boys did three years ago. It could just be a coincidence or deathbed guilt, but I don't think it is. I think Por knows exactly who killed him and that's why he kept apologizing and trying to confess.
In conclusion:
Hope you don't mind being tagged for the DFF round up @slayerkitty ! 🙏🏼
#i'm fully prepared to be wrong#i'm expecting it even#but GOD i hope i'm right#i need non to be alive SO BADLY#dead friend forever#dead friend forever the series#non#meta
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DFF ep. 10: Phee as an unreliable narrator
I find Phee's narrated reveal to Jin so odd. That device hasn't been used in the series thus far, even during Tan's reveal as New. DFF has always been "show" not "tell", which is why I will be disappointed if this doesn't turn out to be a case of unreliable narration.
There are two chunks of flashbacks as Phee tells all to Jin: 1) rapid cut scenes from previous episodes, not narrated, and 2) new scenes from New's POV, which are narrated by Phee. In the second set of scenes, New sets up traps for Por and drugs Top, which align with scenes from episodes 1-4, but as such, they didn't need to be explicitly narrated for the audience to understand that they happened. (Again, why it would be so disappointing if this is played straight.)
Phee quickly glosses over the extent of his participation, in that he says
but does it seem right that Phee would find this to be a feasible plan? If the group admits what they did to Non, what could they do with that information? Even if Phee might think he could give drugged confession over to his dad, does he really believe that New, who at this point has lost everything in his life and whom Phee has seen spiral into hopelessness, can simply end this ordeal at that?
I think it's possible he is misrepresenting parts of the truth in order to further some shared goal with New or his own agenda, perhaps with a third party.
In terms of evidence for this being part of New+Phee's shared plan, New doesn't seem all that surprised at being outed to the group, not that the group really gives a fuck. As Tee so eloquently states,
This reveal of an unknown brother to the already deranged group means nothing. But, Phee gains something by revealing "useless" information to Jin - he learns that Jin was the one who filmed the video of Non and Keng
(Now the way this was filmed was also weird, but I can't think of a reason why Jin would lie, so let's assume he is telling, to his knowledge, the truth.)
This is (maybe) the first piece of information Phee (and New) have learned concerning the actions the group have taken to cause Non's disappearance, or at least breakdown. Phee could have realized that the drugs were too aggresive and the group would kill each other off before they got anything on Non, and chose to get information instead.
In this case, what Phee misrepresents would be the extent of his involvement, that in truth he is more of an active participant than he lets on, all to get Jin to trust him more. Notice how none of the flashbacks include scenes of Phee approaching Jin to get close to him.
However, if the reveal is a tactic, it could also be to further Phee's own goals, potentially with a third party. In this case, Phee would be entirely misrepresenting who is doing the acts of violence, maybe not New at all. Possible evidence toward this is that while New is deeply unhinged right now, he doesn't seem quite bloodthirsty enough to take a life (in killing Uncle Dang). He certainly acted surprised enough at his body.
Fluke interrupts Jin before there can be a reveal of Phee as Non's ex boyfriend or of the presumed actions that New took to ruin the group, which leads me to believe that none of what we have seen so far has been the whole truth. The narrative makes more sense as a set up to a twist coming in ep. 11 and 12.
All I'm saying is, don't ready the stones for Phee just yet.
(The way that I would least like for events to play out is if this episode is completely played straight - Phee will kill a mad New in an act framed as righteous, perhaps by protecting Jin, and an alive Non will return home to find his parents dead and his (ex)boyfriend having betrayed him and killed his brother. Woo!)
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a theory on ep11’s preview
firstly, if you’ve guessed/ theorized that non was still alive, you get 10 points!
if you also guessed that perth would help him (in that case, thanks to tee) you also get 10 points!
knowing that tee helped non escape, was definitely a plot twist. he basically lives at his uncle’s mercy, is forced to work for him and has to follow every single one of his orders so his father doesn’t die. which is a pretty shitty situation!
we saw previously that he showed guilt after non got busted for the fake accounts instead of him, but to help him escape from that very uncle? you’ll never fail to surprise me, tee!
after that, tee gives an envelope to non and tells him he’ll get him out of there.
now, what is in this envelope? my first thought was obviously money. but i also thought, what if it was a plane ticket? it’d be safer for non to get the hell out of bangkok (or even thailand) to be sure the uncle and his men could never get him. a one way flight, non leaving without looking back.
i think that with the help of perth, tee could’ve gathered enough money to pay a ticket. i mean, that would’ve benefited tee a whole lot too. non forever out of his hair, not causing any more problems. disappearing without a trace. his uncle thinking he got rid of the troublemaker.
but what happened to mr keng then?
firstly we have no idea of the extent of his injuries. we guessed that non’s were only bad enough to knock him out on the roof, but the uncle might as well have killed keng for good.
i mean, he was hit with a car, which is way worse than a few punches. in the best case scenario (for him, cause i want that bastard dead), he only got a few bruises, but the most logical one would be that his legs are broken, as well as a few ribs maybe (depending on how hard the car hit him).
if we assume he’s alive, like non (which i seriously doubt), i don’t think tee would’ve helped him at all. he’s already risking everything to save non, he wouldn’t try saving both, especially because keng doesn’t mean anything to him. he probably never even had a conversation with him.
so in my opinion, we won’t see the teacher ever again, unless he found another way to escape, such as being rescued by the police as his disappearance could’ve been noticed after some time.
now onto the fun part!
white is seen entering the arcade place, where we’ve already seen non & phee meeting up and making out at.
which means we’ll finally get teewhite whole’s backstory!
my depressing theory is that we’ll get a cute little montage of their love story, and they’ll show us how cute they are, with their little puppy love, opposites attract shit just to snatch it from us right after.
mark my words, they’ll make us love teewhite and after those little flashbacks with bright colors that distracted us for a moment, we’ll get back to our depressing and dark present.
4 possibilities after that:
best case scenario: while we get a contrast between the past and how in love they were and acted, nothing terrible happens. tee explains to the group what was revealed to the viewer in the flashbacks, that he ended up helping non and that he’s still alive. he righted his wrongs and while white is shaken up, he’s glad tee isn’t just a bully who guilt tripped a kid into money laundering, he did feel guilt and saved him from his uncle.
same as above, tee reveals everything to the group but white doesn’t forgive him. he feels betrayed and mad that tee hid that from him for so long. in white’s eyes, tee is no longer someone he can trust, or hide behind.
tee dies
white dies
while i believe those 2 last options can happen, i don’t think they’d happen at that moment. tee’s reveal scene will probably be at the beginning of the episode while the following one with phee & new may happen soon after, which is why those 2 options seem less likely to happen then.
new is clearly urging phee on to shoot.
but how? in the last scene of ep10, fluke is the one who has it and he clearly doesn’t want to let it go. he let white out of his grasp and is now pointing it at tee.
but fluke is clearly out of it, and is the one suffering the most from hallucinations, which made him shoot top even though his only principle was clearly to never act, to keep his hands clean of anything that could prevent him of becoming a doctor. too late now!
someone could take advantage of his delirious state and while he’s distracted, take the gun from him, like white, who’s on the ground, kinda behind fluke and now out of his sight. which is when phee could take the gun, as he’s the unofficial new leader and appears trustworthy as he just exposed new.
but who is phee pointing the gun at?
i think it’s most likely fluke. he’s clearly losing his mind and the hallucinations are making him aggressive, like top. which is why they may have to kill him before he kills someone else.
phee clearly wants to make the right decision, surely wants to kill him or just hurt him because fluke is an active threat. but tan just wants to see them all gone! he clearly has nothing to lose left, now that phee exposed him, this is his last chance to avenge his brother.
alternative theory:
phee might be pointing the gun at someone else.
according to how tee’s revelation ends, especially how non’s story ends, something might happen after that.
phee wouldn’t be pointing the gun at someone who didn’t deserve it, who wasn’t a threat to the group.
so why would it be tee? in my opinion, non escaped the country, end of story. but maybe something happened to him just before he could get out. then new would get mad at tee, blaming him. tee fights him. then he would represent a threat. or maybe the hallucinations come back and he gets violent.
then of course new would be happy to see phee shoot tee, who was the whole reason non even got involved with dangerous mafia shit in the first place.
the last scene is new, lighting a cigarette.
why would he be smoking in the middle of all this? like he has time to do that?
maybe it’s just a meaningless scene they’re throwing in the preview so they don’t have to spoil too much stuff.
but, still, new is the only one who's going through with his plan, and he wouldn’t waste time on lighting a cigarette! unless it’s truly chaos, and like we know, he smokes to de-stress.
creepily, when i saw the scene the first time, i thought ‘this is his last cigarette. they’re holding him at gunpoint and they allow him to smoke one last time before they pull the trigger’ because he’s clearly shivering. but that may be way too far as i don’t think any of them would shoot anyone in cold blood if they weren’t actively threatened.
but a more plausible theory would be that they’re forcing him to smoke. in the scene where new is urging phee on to shoot, phee looks at him ‘like, what the fuck?’ like he’s not liking new telling him what to do at all.
maybe then, phee doesn’t shoot anyone, not fluke, not tee, but instead turns on new and points the gun at him. maybe phee really doesn’t want any kind of revenge for non anymore as his brother became too violent for his liking. but phee wouldn’t shoot new.
he could however hold him at gunpoint, and force him to smoke one of the drugged cigarettes, one with an X. maybe so he isn’t an active threat to them anymore, urging them to kill each other and to cause more chaos. they’d be on equal ground as he’d start hallucinating too.
what do you think?
#dead friend forever#dff#dff theory#dff the series#thai bl#dff ep 10#dff white#dff new#dff tan#dff phee#dff jin#dff fluke#dff top#dff por#dff tee#dff teewhite#dff pheejin#asian lgbtq dramas#lgbtqia
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Fuck it, here's an Owen Carvour dissertation
We don't have canon ages for Curt & Owen, but personally I headcanon Owen as being born in 1928, making him 29 when the banana incident happens. This leads to a lot of thoughts that are fascinating to me, because growing up in London during WWII could inform so much of his character.
Personally, I believe DMA's accent is much closer to Owen's natural accent. I think the Owen Carvour accent is something he puts on to make himself sound neutrally British while working abroad, because he grew up working class. RP is how most people (at least in the US) assume British people speak. This also works with the Texan agent mega headcanon, like they both have to put on an act to be spies, just like they have to put on an act with their relationship.
And class is really really important to how you conceptualize this character, because your experience of the war could be radically different depending on how much money you had. Food rationing began in 1940, which in this case would make Owen 12. Rationing isn't fully lifted until 1954.
At Elizabeth II's wedding in 1947, the palace made a big deal about how she was saving ration coupons for the material for her wedding- a full two years after WWII ended.
Here's WWII London:
This is the city Owen would've grown up in. This is a war zone. A city where food is tightly rationed, where sirens were constantly going off and you had to draw down the blackout curtains and go sleep in the tube station with bombs dropping constantly overhead:
If Owen were upper middle class, he might have had a shelter at home, some people did. But I imagine him sleeping in dark, cramped, noisy stations. And he learns to keep his cool. He starts to enjoy the danger because he has to to survive it.
Maybe he has lost loved ones to the bombings. Maybe one morning he comes home from the tube station and half of his house is in rubble on the ground. Maybe he's used to hand me down clothes and simple homemade toys and not having enough to eat. He's used to having nothing, having nobody. That's a headcanon a lot of folks have, and I think it makes a lot of sense for his character.
Even if Owen were one of the kids evacuated to the countryside, maybe that happens when he's 15 or so, it wasn't a Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe situation. For a lot of those kids they were leaving their parents behind in a war zone, sleeping in barns or basements, and most importantly working almost non-stop on British farms because all the regular farmhands were fighting.
I think, if this happened, Owen would be itching to go off and fight in the war. My personal headcanon is that he's an intelligent guy, and he figures out how to forge some basic paperwork to claim he is older than he actually is, so he can go fight in WWII.
But by some fluke he couldn't account for, he gets discovered. And because of his skill and his ability to keep his cool under interrogation, he gets recruited to MI6. A lot of MI6 operatives are upper class men, recruited young from the top schools. He mimicks them.
I think many years later, when he and Curt are escaping a Russian weapons facility, Owen loves Curt and trusts in his capabilities (maybe a bit too much- especially when he's been drinking), but he also feels frustrated that Curt is impulsive and cocky and thinks he is untouchable.
Because Curt didn't grow up the way Owen did. He didn't grow up waiting for the bottom to fall out over and over again. He's certainly got his own shit from adolescence, but he doesn't have that survival impulse hardwired into him the way Owen does. So Owen is careful and cautious for the both of them, trying to keep them both safe and alive.
I think about Owen being trapped in the rubble a lot. He would almost certainly be critically injured. Maybe he has PTSD from the WWII bombings, and he's just trapped in an exploded building, trapped with his own memories of childhood until he's almost feral from it.
This also, btw, is why the AU of Owen as Eurydice from Hadestown is so so poignant to me. Someone who grew up cold and hungry and turned their collar to the world, and then suddenly they fall in love and everything is sunlight all around them. All I've Ever Known is such an important owen!Eurydice song to me
I could keep going from here, but I'll stop for now. This isn't as neat and concise as I wanted to present these thoughts, but I can't stop thinking them
#spies are forever#tin can bros#agent curt mega#owen carvour#curtwen#spytown#spytown renaissance#saf headcanon#saf#SAFtistic
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Who do you think are the best actors in gmmtv?
Oh Cheez Whiz on a cracker, what kinda ask is this, Anon?! Do you know what you have requested from me? The impossible! But I'm gonna make it possible with some strict criteria:
It has to be GMMTV's current roster, so actors like Singto and Toptap are out (😩)
I'm only choosing from the male squad because if I get the ladies involved, it'll never end so no Jan and Aye (😥)
They must have acted in at least three BLs under GMMTV, so people like Mond and Perth are out (😪)
I'm not touching on if they are problematic because I'm trying to be like Jesus's mom and forgive triflin' heifers
I'm capping it at ten because . . . damn, this is gonna be hard
Know that if this list wasn't exclusive to GMMTV, it would be only one name - MaxTul
Okay, so working within these parameters, here are the actors I think are the crème de la crème of GMMTV in no particular order:
Ohm Pawat
This man can do it all, and then some. He was in 2016's Make It Right which is required BL watching, he matched Singto's energy in He's Coming to Me, and he has my entire dash in a frenzy again over Bad Buddy.
Gun Atthaphan
He has played multiple characters, at once, three times now, so at this point, he could be the entire cast of a show if GMMTV wasn't a coward. He is beautiful yet scrappy, and I truly believe he could beat any of these other men acting-wise and physically. In a street fight, my money would be on him every time.
First Kanaphan
My babygirl only serves the best performance each and every time he is on the screen. 2022 finally gave him the spotlight he so rightfully deserves with Not Me (where he played with Gun) and The Eclipse, but he held down the wacky plot of The Shipper against Ohm back in 2020, and had me rooting for him, the square, in Moonlight Chicken. Stay hydrated, babe!
Sing Harit
The Warp Effect and 3 Will Be Free added together equal one BL, so he has done more than the requirement, really, and he has been doing it almost a decade since 2014's Love Sick! Watch this man be a puppy in The Warp Effect, then play Todd in Not Me and tell me why a guy with this range hasn't been a main lead?! I DEMAND ANSWERS!
Neo Trai
Neo is a mini Sing. He played a clown so well in Cause You're My Boy where he was a love interest to Phuwin only to play his clown brother in Fish Upon the Sky, and played another clown in Tonhon Chonlatee. So when he got serious in The Eclipse, he demanded my attention. He played two different characters in Vice Versa, and now he is about to enter his villain era in Only Friends. He kills every role he is in, and I'm sure him and his abs will kill me and my mutes by the end of the year.
Fourth Nattawat
This baby got in by the skin of his teeth based on his two-minute moment in Bad Buddy. I'm counting it because he deserves to be here. He acts with his entire physical body. When Uncle Jim told his character not to be poor AND a homo in Moonlight Chicken, Fourth's whole demeanor captured exactly how the audience felt. I can't wait to see what this tiny toddler does next.
Khaotung Thanawat
I cannot write about this man and be rational. Just know he is pretty AND talented. I was rooting for him in A Tale of Thousand Stars and Moonlight Chicken, yet I don't even think they were actual possibilities. Once he starts to tear up, it's game over for these hoes. Cause understand, if Khaotung is acting in it, I'm supporting his character's rights and wrongs. BRING ME ONLY FRIENDS RIGHT NOW!
Fluke Pusit
I've already stated my case for him, but let me recap the highlights: he kisses like his energy is restored with each lip touch, and he has kissed the most GMMTV's boys. He has acted well in even his smallest roles, so I remember him each time, and he carried his weight against Ohm and First in The Shipper. He has chemistry with anyone, and it's by high time he got a lead. The Warp Effect was sooooo close = Sing x Fluke, anyone?
Mark Pakin
Look at at our man's resume: I Promised You the Moon, Bad Buddy, My School President, Moonlight Chicken, and The Warp Effect. Oh, and he is an actual world badminton champion. The directors I trust with my life, Jojo and Aof have each used him TWICE (Only Friends loading), and Aof is about to get him a third time in Last Twilight. He is being paired twice with Neo to prove they can hold their own against the OGs OffGun in Cooking Crush, which I have faith that they will exceed expectations. This man does not miss. Never. Not ever. Not fucking once.
Nanon Korapat
Nanon may be a nepo baby, but nobody puts baby in the corner. This man can ACT, and he isn't afraid to look ugly doing it. The way his face contorts to show every single emotion as he is feeling it should be studied. The way he moves his neck, hands, and overall body to exude his character's thoughts is marvelous. Oh, and The Gifted? That series was gay solely because Nanon decided to make it gay. That's powerful acting.
Bonus round: Because they aren't technically under GMMTV, but I love older men who have done their duty.
Nat Sakdatorn
Daddy. Sexually and figuratively. He played in 2016's Fathers about two gay men trying to raise their child in a country with no legal protections for queer folks, then he played Chopper's dad in Never Let Me Go. I want to see Perth act against him again because their emotions show on their faces so well, but first I want to see him kiss another man like Friend Zone or 609 Bedtime Story. However, if I'm being honest, I just simply want him to take off his clothes again like in Mama Gogo. God, this man is fine. Oh, and he can act.
Kob Songsit
I can only see him as Kinn's manipulative ass father in KinnPorsche, but Kob has been acting for 34 years, and played in the queer staple The Love of Siam. He has played supportive fathers in Until We Meet Again, Chains of Heart, Don't Say No, and the ongoing Be My Favorite, and he played the older gay version to younger Khaotung's character in 55:15 Never to Late. He has gone on the record stating that he wants to show people being gay is okay and being SUPPORTIVE of the queers should be the norm. He earns his paycheck every damn day. Thank you for your service, sir!
I gave you a dozen amazing actors, but I would love to know who some of y'all consider the best of the best and why.
And also, remember, if my back is up against a wall, and I had to answer . . .
MAXTUL!
#GMMTV'S best according to a rando on Tumblr#ohm pawat#gun atthaphan#first kanaphan#sing harit#neo trai#fourth nattawat#khaotung thanawat#fluke pusit#mark pakin#nanon korapat#nat sakdatorn#kob songsit#MaxTul above everyone else!
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Twenty Two Games Left in the Season
Its two in the morning, I have New Jersey Devils thoughts, so here you go.
We have to remember last season was not the plan. I think this is the most important thing. If last season went how last season was expected to go (we're a bubble team potentially fighting for a wild card spot), this season actually doesn't look as bad as it does by comparison. This season is so disappointing because we're, of course, using the lens of last season and so is everyone else. Now. I'm not saying last season was a fluke. All I'm saying is last season really colors how we're perceiving the team this season and maybe we should put all of that into context.
We knew this season would be worse. I think we tend to forget that the expectation was always that this season was not going to be as miraculous as last season. There were no moves made over the summer for goaltending. Fitz decided that he was going to run a tandem of Schmiddy and VV. That..did not work out well for us. We also lost two veteran defensemen and replaced them with one rookie defenseman, Luke, and one basically rookie defenseman, Bahlers. Remember, Nemo was most likely not going to see many games this season. I mean, I'm so happy he did because he's a revelation, but Nemo was not supposed to be playing NHL games, not yet anyway. There are guys on the team that are having pretty bad regressions, but that's not indicative of a bigger problem, it happens.
Injuries. I cannot begin to emphasize how detrimental the injuries were this season. We have not been healthy once. Millsy was hurt in the preseason. My belief is he was always supposed to be the sixth defensemen and BSmith was gonna be our 7D. Haula wasn't one hundred percent to start. Nico gets hurt. Jack gets hurt. Timo gets hurt. We have Laser missing random games here and there. Pally gets hurt. Dougie gets hurt. Siegs gets hurt. BSmith gets hurt. Nosek hurt. Jack gets hurt again. I feel like that isn't even everyone?
Sixteen back to backs in one season. Yes, its an excuse. Yes, they should have learned how to play in back to backs. But like, come the fuck on, man. That is brutal scheduling. Absolutely brutal. Our record would look so different if we had like, I dunno, just ten back to backs instead of a league leading sixteen.
Lindy Ruff. I have already done my Ruff rant, but to summarize, that man does not know how to utilize his players properly. Until MM20 was forcibly removed from this team, Lindy was using Nico Hischier all wrong. Until recently, Timo has been used all wrong. Don't get me started on Holtzy. He overplays certain players and underplays others. He played the same goaltender on back to back nights. He doesn't switch out goalies until its too late. His defensive pair decisions are ass. And thats not even getting to the fact that his only in game strategy is to shorten the bench and/or change the lines. Its endless, really.
Now I know this sounds like I'm making a doom and gloom post, but hear me out.
It isn't over. We are still, somehow, in the playoff hunt. Can you believe, that even with all this adversity we've faced this season, there's still a chance they could squeak in?
Fundamentally, the team is not the issue. I think thats really important. I think there's been a lot of questions around whether last season was a fluke or that these aren't the guys that are going to lead the Devils to a Cup run. I truly don't think thats the case. Do we need a goalie? Yeah. But Dawsy is showing signs of being steady. Akira is showing signs of being steady. Even VV had a handful of good games before he was sidelined. They probably aren't our main guy moving forward, but I'm not going to sit here and hate on goalies man, thats absolutely not my MO. We have the pieces. We really, really have the pieces. When they're played correctly and put with the right linemates, our stars can really shine. Siegs was having a pretty brutal year, but you see him getting back to shades of himself when he's paired with Nemo. Kevvy was also having a bit of a bad year too, and his last, what, ten or so games, have been lights out. I think Johnny and Luke together really work. Loads of people were bemoaning the Timo trade and look he's played properly and he has like what four or five points in his last four or five games. You find the right line combos for our top six/top nine, and oh man can we really get cooking. There's going to be growing pains sure, but you have to remember how young this team is. But we have the pieces. We have our core. The elements are there. This team has the foundation to truly fly.
This young team is learning to deal with pressure. That is the main difference between last season and this season. There weren't any expectations for the Devils last season outside of whatever internal ones they had in their locker room, so everything was gravy. This season, however, this season you have a lot of external pressure. Being named Cup favorites or Cup contenders by every major NHL media source in the summer and in the lead up to the season, that is very new for the majority of the guys on this team. And they're gonna have to learn how to respond to it. And it may be painful. You know I'm the first person to rag on Lindy, but I think his comment about the pressure from the reporters leading to the unsuccessful powerplay was actually really telling. These Devils have not had to deal with any expectations. And now they do. And dealing with that mentally and not letting it affect your game is a learning process, its a growing process. How do you silence the doubt not only from the outside but internally within yourself? That isn't automatic. Each of these guys needs to figure it out. And they will. Together. This is not a case of these boys getting too high and mighty on themselves because everyone thought they'd cruise to the playoffs. No. Not at all. This is a case of being in a brand new position in the NHL and figuring out how to navigate it.
This season is not a disaster. Now, I'm not saying this season isn't cursed. It definitely is. But its not a disaster. Its not a write off. Its part of the process. Its part of our window. Our window, which remember, only really opened last season and even then it opened at least a season earlier than everyone expected, is at its very beginning stages. Its frustrating to see them seemingly "waste" a year of prime Jack, Nico, Jesper, Timo, et al, but its wrong to look at it as a waste. It isn't a waste. This is why they call it a window and not like a singular shot or whatever.
I think I'm ceasing to make sense now and it is past three in the morning, so I'm going to stop typing.
TL;DR: I love the New Jersey Devils. I will always love the New Jersey Devils. I refuse to hate this team. I refuse to say this team sucks. I refuse to give up on this team. We've had a tough season. It isn't over though. And I hope we get to see them play some fun hockey as we have a little over a month of regular season hockey left to play.
#New Jersey Devils#Devils#NJD#NJ Devils#Text#Okay I went off the rails a little bit here#but I had this conversation with Z earlier and I've been percolating on these thoughts for a couple of days now#I just can't be mad at them ya know#is it toxic positivity? I hope not?#maybe it is! call me out for it!#anyway I love talking and thinking about the Devils so#here's me Devilsdumping on all yall#mostly I'm just sad the season is winding down
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My little love
Chapter 2
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x enhanced!Reader
Word count: 4.2k
Warnings: Gun is used, death of a minor character, physical abuse toward a newborn(if you don't want to read skip the part that says "this is graphic") , Bucky and his feelings. Use of petnames/nicknames (Angel, sweet Angel, sweetheart, sweet girl)
A/N: I have no idea how I wrote this so fast. Chapter 3 is also currently being written! Not beta'd. All mistakes are my own!
Series Masterlist
Ch. 1
She cried and cried. At least her lungs were healthy. No matter what anyone tried to do, the sweet little Angel wouldn’t stop crying. That first time she woke up and she let you soothe her was a fluke but you couldn’t blame the innocent child. All she’s known is pain and suffering. The nurses had suggested giving her a sedative but you refused. She needed to get used to someone and if it had to be you so be it.
“Sweet girl, it’s ok.” You cooed from the side of the crib. She had pushed herself against the other side and refused to let you hold her. Although if you really wanted to, all you had to do was lean forward a little bit more and pull her towards you. But you weren’t going to do that. In her own way Angel was asking for space and you would give it to her.
“Hey, I’m heading out for the day, the next nurses will be here soon.”
“Thanks Jenna, try to get some rest ok.”
“You too.”
You smiled at her and then looked at your watch. 7:00 am on the dot and Angel had already been up a few hours. You’d hope she would’ve tired herself out by now but that wasn’t the case. If the paternity test was correct, which it was because you ran it three more times, she had the super soldier serum running through her veins. Angel wouldn’t need as much sleep, just like Bucky. Instead of trying to get her to come to you, you decided to sit down next to the crib. Close enough to see her but far enough away that she didn’t feel threatened. Looking back down at your hands you start to play with the metal bangles you always wear and you get an idea. Grabbing your phone out of your back pocket you looked for the app where you had first read her a fairytale and chose another. Then you moved one hand over the metal bracelets and reshaped them to resemble the characters of the story.
Finally after reading and manipulating the little metal figures around she calmed down. She even managed to pluck one of the figures midair and was currently sticking it in her mouth. You’d started a list of things to get her on your phone and now you’ve added pacifiers to it. Her eyes were starting to droop and before long she laid down and started snoring lightly. You breathed a sigh of relief as you manipulated the metal from her hand and added it to your bangles again, making a mental note to wash them later. As you settle down in your seat again the door opens slowly revealing the day shift nurse.
“Hi, Y/N. Mr. Stark assigned me to your team. Is there really a baby?”
“Hey Ivy, meet our tiniest patient.” You whisper as you nod toward the crib.
You watch as she silently makes her way over and looks in. Her hand goes to her chest and she pouts.
“I was briefed on her case. I can’t believe someone would hurt a baby like that.”
“Me either but here we are. I tell you I’d like to get my hands on those bastards and make them feel what she did.”
“Well, sign me up. Oh Mr. Stark said to meet him up in the conference room by his lab.”
“Thanks, call me if she wakes up.”
“Will do.” She says as she takes your place and you slip out of the room.
When you got to Tony’s conference room you only found him and Steve. They seemed to be in deep discussion so you knocked on the door. Steve waves you in and you open the door, closing it behind you and taking a seat.
“How’s the patient?” Tony asks.
“She’s awake with a healthy set of lungs.”
Steve smiles.
“So we talked with Fury and he agreed that the safest place for her is here. At least until we figure out who the father is.” Tony says.
“What about her mother?”
Tony and Steve trade looks before Tony grabs a remote and turns on the tv that’s mounted on the wall.
“This is graphic.” It’s the only warning Tony gives you before hitting play.
In the video you see a woman on an exam table giving birth. She holds on to the side as she pushes and grits her teeth as a curse escapes her. Once the baby is born a guard walks up to the woman and shoots her in the head. You gasp when you see it.
“The new perfect weapon gentlemen.” The doctor who held Angel directed his words to people off camera.
“How can we know for sure? What if it’s not as good as the first?”
“Only one way to find out.” He says.
You turn your head but it doesn’t matter, you still heard the snap and the sharp piercing scream of a baby who’s arm had been broken. For what? To determine if she had super soldier serum in her veins? All they had to do was take a blood sample. Tears of both rage and indignation escaped you.
“Now we wait to see how long it takes to heal. Then we’ll have our answer. Take her away.”
Steve was at your side, kneeling so that he could look at your face while one hand rubbed soothing circles on your back.
“We assume her mother maybe had some ability or the super soldier serum but until you’re able to do the testing we can’t be sure. We have all her files but there isn’t a mention of the father so we’ll need a DNA test and compare it with all of the people we arrested yesterday.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“And why not?”
“Because I already did one and I know who the father is. Although I didn’t really need one.”
“What do you mean?” Steve asks, still kneeling beside you.
“She has his eyes.” You say, your voice small but both men can hear you. Steve tenses up beside you before speaking up.
“you’re sure?”
“I ran the test four different times. And every time it came back that Bucky is the father.”
“Oh fuck.” Tony says. No one says anything for a few minutes, unsure of what happens next.
“We have to tell him.”
“Yeah but imagine what it’s going to do to him. He’s going to ask how she got pregnant and none of the answers are good. This is going to destroy Bucky.”
“He still has the right to know, Y/L/N.” Tony agrees with Steve. “I’ll have him come up here and we can tell him.”
“No.” You and Steve say at the same time.
“We’ll tell him later today. We need to figure out how we’re going to do it first.”
“As long as you do it today it’s fine with me. I’ll talk to the lawyers to see what this means for him legally.”
“He didn’t do anything wrong.”
“No, I know. I mean he’s the father he should have custody, but we have to figure out how that needs to happen. She’ll need a birth certificate and social security number. Also this is kidnapping which means everyone in that room gets additional charges put on them.”
You nod and stand to leave with Steve following close behind.
“Can I see her?”
“Yeah, she’s sleeping now though.”
“It’s probably best. I don’t want her to be afraid of me.” He tells you as you get into the elevator.
There’s a quiet tension building in the small space. It’s almost suffocating. Both of you know that this news is going to change Bucky.
“How do you think he’ll react?”
“I mean back before the war he wanted a family, but now I’m not so sure. Especially if hydra was involved.” Steve answers.
The elevator door slides open and the sound of crying reaches your ears before you’ve even set a foot in the hallway. Steve lets you out first and you rush to the room. Ivy stands by the crib, gloves on her hands and a needle ready for use. She looks frazzled as she turns when the door opens.
“What are you doing?” You ask as you get closer to the crib.
“I thought we needed blood samples. I was just trying to help.”
“You don’t take blood samples or do anything with her unless you’re told to do so, got it?” You say with a quiet sort of anger. The difficult part was not snapping at her while there was a screaming toddler in your presence. “You’re excused.” You say as you turn back to the crib.
The littlest Barnes sits against the opposite railing crying bloody murder. Her cheeks are both red and tear stained. Her hand has a little drop of dried blood but you’re sure the puncture wound has already healed. During this Steve stands by the door, a pained expression on his face. He’s useless in this situation. How was he supposed to help calm down a baby that didn’t trust anyone? He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard you humming a lullaby and you changed your metal bangles into different shapes to distract her.
“There you go sweet girl. You’re ok.” You cooed as you lowered the makeshift toys closer to her. Slowly the crying dies down and her attention is now on the toys that hover above her head. She hiccups every once in a while as she reaches up. “You can come in.” You tell Steve but you keep your eyes on what is happening with the toys.
He slowly walks closer but still stays at a safe distance. Steve hoped that he wouldn’t be noticed but he should have known better. Bright blue eyes that are slightly puffy and red connect with his. There’s a small whimper and baby Barnes looks at you. It shocks you when she makes little grabby hands in your direction. You’re quick to scoop her up in your arms and she hides her face in the crook of your neck.
“She really does have his eyes.” He finally says as he crosses his arms. You smile, more to yourself than anything but Steve noticed. “Are you sure your special ability isn’t calming down the Barnes family?”
“Ha ha so funny Steve. She’s just comfortable around me because I was the first face she saw when she woke up.”
“Yeah, and what about Bucky? Have you been the first thing he sees when he wakes up?” He teases.
“Steven Grant Rogers, what are you insinuating?”
“Oh come on, I see how you look at him and he’s crazy about you. And it seems like it runs in the family.” He nods in your direction and when you look down you find Angel looking up at you. You smile down at her but when you move to cup her cheek she flinches and her bottom lip wobbles. Without much thought you begin to sway back and forth in hopes of avoiding more crying.
“You’re a natural with kids. Were you like the neighborhood babysitter or something?”
You shake your head as you take a seat. “I wish but my parents never really let me out of their sight. I was born with my ability and I couldn’t control it when I was younger. I used to get hurt a lot and they were scared I would hurt someone else.” You shrug your shoulders. “I used to watch my mom take care of my younger siblings but she never let me help out of fear of me hurting them. I guess that’s where I picked it up though.”
Steve hums as the door opens to reveal Bruce. His eyes widen in surprise as he sees that not only is the toddler awake but that you’re holding her. He smiles as he steps in.
“When did she wake up?”
“Last night. I didn’t get a chance to call you this morning. I was in a meeting.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Bruce waves a hand dismissively. “I was able to find her file amongst everything that Tony had brought with him.” He says as he taps away on his tablet. “They kept her on a very strict diet, if you can even call it that. It had just enough nutritional value that she wouldn’t die but she’s severely underweight for a three year old.”
“She’s three?”
Bruce nods. “At least it’s what the file says. She’s also behind in her developmental skills so we’ve got our work cut out for us. We should keep her on liquids for now and slowly move into soft foods. I’ve already started working on a more nutrient rich formula for her. Think of it as a protein powder but it’s going to provide all the nutrients she’s been missing out on. All we would have to do is add a spoonful to whatever she’s drinking, and really it can be added to anything she eats. I’d like to try a smoothie first, maybe some fruits would be good for her first meal.”
“I like the sound of that.” You say.
“So do I.” Steve adds.
“I’ll get it ready then.” Bruce says but he doesn’t leave immediately. “Tony told me about the paternity test.”
“Yeah, we can safely assume she has the super serum in her system.”
“Once she’s comfortable enough with us I’d like some blood samples to make sure there isn’t anything else we have to prepare for.”
“Ok.”
“Alright I’ll be back in a bit with breakfast for the little one.” He says with a smile before leaving.
“So…”
“So, Rogers.”
“We invite him to my place for dinner and tell him then?”
“Yeah. There’s really no way around this.” You frown slightly before looking back down at the child in your arms, she’s kept her eyes on you the whole time. One of her hands rests over yours and the other is holding a small metal cat. The grip she has on it is tight as if she were afraid someone would take it away from her.
After a few minutes of you and Steve talking about what things need to be bought for the girl, Bruce walks back into the room. He holds a sippy cup full with a pink smoothie and a spoon.
“Ok, here we go.” He hands you the sippy cup. “I brought a spoon just in case we have to feed it to her. She may have never been given a bottle so this could be a foreign concept to her.”
You nod and then you bring the sippy cup up to her lips but she turns away. A small whine escapes her as you try to get her to drink. Anytime the tip of the sippy cup comes close to her mouth she moves her face away.
“This isn’t going to work.”
“Let’s try the spoon then. Maybe if she sees you eating it she’ll feel more comfortable?”
For the first time since he walked in, Steve walks closer to the girl, who doesn’t seem as scared of him anymore and kneels down. He takes the sippy cup and unscrews the lid and holds it out. Bruce hands over the small spoon to you. You grab it and take a small amount of the smoothie and you bring it to your lips. Humming in approval of the sweet flavors. You grab more of the smoothie mixture and bring it up to her lips, she hesitates for a moment but then she lets you feed her.
“Mmm.” She hums out. The three of you breathe a sigh of relief as you grab more and she happily gets more. With every spoonful of the cold and sweet concoction both you and Steve praise her. Trying to get her used to both of you so that you can at least have someone else she can trust.
“Sweet Angel you did so good.” You say as you hand Bruce the spoon and place a small kiss on the top of her head
. She was only able to finish about half the smoothie but it was enough.
“I’ll put this in the fridge for later.” He puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a container. “Here is some of the formula I made. You just add a teaspoon to whatever you’re going to give her.”
“Thanks Bruce.”
“No problem. Let me know when you get through that and I’ll get you more.”
“I will.” He walks out after saying his goodbye.
“So what now?” Steve asks.
“I’m not sure. I was thinking maybe going out to the garden? Some fresh air could do her some good.”
“Ok.” Steve replies as his phone starts to ring, he pulls it out of his pocket and frowns. “I have to take this.” Is all he says before he walks out.
“Well I guess it’s just us girls.” You say as you look down, only to find that baby Barnes is falling asleep. Without much knowledge of what had been done to her, you can only assume she’s been kept awake for long periods of time. So you set her back in the crib and ask Friday to inform you when she wakes up again.
Before heading up to your apartment you go find Ivy and apologize for the way you reacted. She said she understood and that she would check in on the sleeping toddler while you rested. With that you left the medical wing and headed to your apartment.
Before you knew it, the time to talk with Bucky had come. You had gone down and checked on his daughter before heading up to Steve’s apartment. At the door you find Bucky about to knock when he turns to look at you. A smile appears on his lips when he sees it’s you.
“Hey.”
“Hey, are you having dinner with us?”
“Yup.” You smile up at him as you knock. The door opens almost too fast, as if Steve had been standing on the other side the whole time. Your eyes narrow when you eyed him suspiciously and he gives you a smirk.
“Come on in, dinner is almost ready.”
Steve steps out of the way and Bucky lets you in first. Both men follow you as you walk toward Steve’s living room where you take a seat on his couch. Bucky sits next to you and Steve sits on an armchair across from both of you. The apartment was very him and when Bucky saw it for the first time he mentioned it felt like walking back into the 30s and 40s. So whenever they were feeling homesick you could always find them here.
“Oh before I forget. I um-” Bucky raises a hand up and shows you a bag. “I had to see my therapist today and I stopped at a baby store. I thought the kid could use a toy or two.” He said as he handed you the bag.
Sure enough the bag contained a pink teddy bear, some rubber ducks and even a doll. There were also some pacifiers and a blanket. when you look back up at him your eyes soften, there’s a slight blush on his cheeks and it causes you to smile up at him.
“Oh for the love of God.” Steve mutters under his breath with an eye roll and that causes Bucky to clear his throat.
“My therapist said she might need some items that can bring her comfort so I just got a few things. Maybe it’ll help.”
“This is really sweet of you.”
“How is she doing?”
You look at Steve and he just nods. “She’s doing good, she woke up and we're working on building up her weight and getting her healthy. But um we actually needed to talk to you about her.”
“What? Why?” Bucky furrowed his brows.
“I did a paternity test on her.”
“Do you need help finding the parents? Are we going on a mission or something?” Bucky looks between you and Steve.
“No nothing like that. Her mother is gone, hydra killed her as soon as she had the baby, we have video proof.” Steve added.
“And the father?”
“That’s what we wanted to talk about.” You say softly as you look at him. His eyes widen and he shakes his head.
“There’s no way.”
“I did the test four times, Bucky, she’s your daughter.”
He stands from the couch abruptly and begins to pace. You can tell he’s lost in thought as he tries to think of when it could have happened. As gently as you can you call his name and when he finally looks at you, his eyes are full of unshed tears. Bucky walks back over to you and sits down. He grabs your hands to try and ground himself.
“Please tell me it’s wrong. I can’t… I can’t take care of a kid. She can’t be mine.” He pleads and your heart breaks for both of them. You hear Steve sniffle from where he’s at.
“I’m sorry Bucky.”
You pull him in for a hug. He hides his face in the crook of your neck and you can feel his shoulders moving as he begins to cry. Bucky’s grip on you tightens the longer he stays in your embrace. After a few minutes he pulls away but he won’t meet your eyes.
“How did it happen?” Bucky asks as you rub circles on his back.
“I’m not sure. Tony is still looking through files.”
“Do you think they made me…”
“Made you what, Buck?” Steve asks.
“Do you think they made me force myself on her?”
“We’re not sure. But I don’t think so. They might have done it through medical procedure so that they could ensure the pregnancy happened.”
Bucky turns to look at you again, his expression is a mixture of hurt and heartbreak.
“You have to know that I would never do that. I could never hurt anyone that way. Please, you have to believe me.”
“I do believe you.” You say as you cup his cheek. “I know you would never do anything like that.”
Bucky closes his eyes at your touch and breathes a sigh of relief when you tell him you believe him. But he’s still tense and you can’t blame him.
“So what happens now with her?”
“Well Tony is working on getting a birth certificate and all that legal stuff and we are working on getting her healthy. We just have to go one day at a time.”
“I can’t take care of a child. I can barely take care of myself.”
“We’re not asking you to do this alone Bucky-“ Steve starts saying in hopes of calming his best friend down.
“At all. I can’t do this at all. Hydra has controlled my life for long enough and now I have to take care of a kid I didn’t want to have?” Bucky’s voice raised with every word until he was yelling. He stands up again and puts some space between himself, you and Steve. “I’m sorry but I can’t be responsible for her.” Is the last thing he said before walking out of Steve’s apartment.
You can’t say you were surprised. Steve sat there with a distressed look on his face as he looked at you.
“You have to know he doesn’t mean it.”
“I know Steve. It’s a lot to deal with. I can’t say I would have reacted differently. We’ll have to talk with the lawyers to see if we can set up a guardianship or something.”
Steve just nods but doesn’t say anything else. He just gets up and heads to the kitchen.
“Come on, we might as well talk about next steps in her care over dinner.” But you look towards the door, with the need to follow Bucky out. “He won’t listen to reason right now. He has to process this his own way.”
You get up and follow Steve. For the next hour or so you decide what needs to happen next. When you’re done you grab the bag of things Bucky had bought and head to the medical wing. You can hear Ivy talking sweetly to her and when you open the door you find Ivy feeding her.
As soon as you step inside the sweet girl’s eyes are on you. They light up in recognition and for the first time you see a smile on her sweet face before she turns and accepts the last spoonful of the smoothie Ivy had held in her hands.
“I’ve got a surprise for you sweet Angel.” You coo as you get closer. Her eyes stay on you as you get closer. Your hand disappears into the bag and you pull out the pink bear and hold it out for her. She hesitates for a moment but her little hands eventually wrap around the bear and she hugs it to her body. When she realizes that it’s soft and won’t hurt her, she lets out a small squeal of joy. Ivy excuses herself and you’re left alone with baby Barnes.
“That’s from your daddy sweetheart. He’s a little scared right now but I think he’ll come around soon. He’s a good man.” You said to her as you sat down and pulled out the doll and handed it over to her.
You were unaware that Bucky was standing by the partially closed door when you said it.
Ch. 3
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Vast!Jon AU and Archivist!Sasha snippet
Sasha is about to take a statement about Mister Spider.
Sasha has only been Archivist for a couple of years. She thinks she's just getting an interesting story.
Sasha does not know what's about to happen.
(AKA: And YOU get some trauma and YOU get some trauma!)
---------------
“Statement of Jonathan Sims, regarding the creation of the photograph most commonly called the ‘spider leg illusion,’ taken… when?”
“Oh, uh - July 15th, 1995.”
“Statement taken direct from subject, February 6th, 2016. Now, Jon - I know it’s been a while, but I’d really appreciate it if you’d tell me what happened on that day.”
Jon was going to tell her the official story.
After all, everyone knew it - it was part of his biography.
It’s why he started taking photographs.
He’d been eight years old. A local bully had been murdered in front of him - some drug deal gone wrong, they said. And needing to make sense of it, needing to find a lens through which he could feel more in control, little Jon had stolen his grandmother’s 35mm camera, went back to the crime scene, and taken forty-six photos.
Each roll of film could take twenty-four shots. He’d had to replace the roll, somehow figuring out how to do it without exposing or ruining anything.
Why not a full forty-eight? the police had asked him later, because he’d left two shots untaken.
Because I was done, and didn’t want to be wasteful, he’d told them with grave solemnity, and between that bit of unintentional cuteness and the evidence he accidentally collected, he made the papers.
The photos - which his grandmother had developed out of raw curiosity - led to the arrest of three people, drug dealers, who went down for the murder of Darren Case, the bully.
But that wasn’t actually how it happened.
At all.
Jon opens his mouth to tell the lie.
And what comes out is not.
#
Eight years old.
A book.
A spooky, weird book.
Mister Spider, and some kind of mind control, and bruising (every day, bruising, but that was just life until Martin stepped in), and then his bully being mind-controlled, and those legs coming out of the house to take the bully away, and -
And Jon returning to the house, finding it again because he needed to see, and the door opening, and the legs coming out, the legs coming out, the legs coming out -
Almost as if showing off for him, or just saying hi, or taunting him because it could have eaten him and didn’t, or -
One picture came out with those legs, just one, even though he’d taken forty-six, and it is the clearest one, absolutely crystal, with a clarity that seemed to go beyond what his grandmother’s camera could do, but that makes sense to Jon because that is what he saw.
Jon has always been able to photograph what he saw.
And nobody took that spider-leg thing seriously because what the fuck, because the important photos were the ones with drug-dealer faces in the windows and going in and out of the house and hiding Darren's body, and it’s not like photo manipulation of some kind hadn’t existed in the 90s, but Jon had no access to it, so it was a fluke, or double-exposure, or something weird.
Jon had insisted the spider photo was real for two months until he gave up trying to make anyone believe him.
His grandmother kept it.
And it had burned in the house fire that took his grandmother away.
He thought.
Somehow, apparently… it hadn’t.
#
And Jon is gasping, and Jon is crying, and Jon has relived this terrible moment as if he were there all over again.
He hadn’t had time to make the connection, but now, he has: You have been marked by the Web, said Elias Bouchard, who’d asked him for the story and did not get it, because Jon did not want to talk about it, but Jon couldn't do that with Sasha, no he could not, and now that it's all over, he cries out and covers his face.
Sasha can’t -
She hasn’t ever -
She has no words for what just happened.
She was there.
Lived it as young Jon Sims, feels bruised where the bully pushed her, feel damaged where she saw the spider-legs and has no explanation, feels betrayed as she is not believed even though she knows what she saw and has to deny it and has to hide it and has to force herself to pretend it wasn’t real -
Himself. Not herself. This was Jon’s actual experience, not hers.
Sasha is panting.
“What…” she says, weak.
“I… I don’t…” Jon says, weak. “What did you do?”
Sasha looks terrified. “I don’t know.”
He swallows. “Eye stuff. It’s got to be.”
“What?” she says, completely lost.
Jon is suddenly angry for her.
Elias hasn’t told her anything, and this is Martin’s friend.
She’s nice.
She believes him.
Wait. “You believe me?”
“Of course I do,” she says.
He’s very angry for her.
Jon is leaning in, too close, like he has no sense of personal space. “Sasha. Do you know what Elias is?”
She stares at him.
“What this place is?” he says, and now, he can see.
She is marked, too.
Marked by the Eye.
He can see it as clear as day, beautiful, like a gentle staining of her veins, all the way through and so intricate and so intimate it could never be removed.
“Wow,” he whispers, reaching for his camera.
Sasha grips the table suddenly as though she thinks she’s going to fall. “Why are there stars in your eyes?”
Jon breaks eye-contact.
Sasha sways in her seat. She’s breathing fast, and her eyes are very wide.
"You," she manages, and sways in her seat again like the room is spinning.
He sees it.
Sees another mark, patterning alongside the Eye, not nearly as deeply, but very much there, and he knows he did that.
He just did it right now, completely by accident, sending her soul into the sky or however this works, and before he can melt down in horror, a rush of warm, pleased energy comes flushing through him, unplanned.
He inhales, for just one second utterly blissed out, unable to parse what he’s feeling.
By some great stroke of luck, she didn’t see him react to that. “Could you - I don’t mean to be rude, but could you leave?” says Sasha. “I need a minute. I’ll catch up with you, I promise, I’m not trying to be a bitch, I….”
He’s hurt her.
Shame comes rushing right in after that weird pleasure. “Oh, no,” he whispers. “Sasha, I’m - ”
“Do I really need to ask you again?” she snaps, shaking.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, and then he flees.
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Chapter Fifteen: This Is the Day
Summary: After struggling to get a hold of anybody for backup, Nancy finally calls you back and picks you up so you can fill each other in about what you’ve missed. (Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader, 3.7k words)
A/N: In this house, we love and support Nancy Wheeler. Also, here is the link to the song mentioned in this chapter in case you wanna listen :)
Tags: @blackbirddaredevil23 @dessmxsworld
Masterlist
July 2nd, 1985
After finding Will, you drove the kids back to the Wheeler’s house and spent the night in their basement as they slept. You were too afraid that if you fell asleep, too, that something else would happen to Will.
You waited all night, hoping that Nancy would return so you could get some back-up, but she never did. It seemed that each of your friends were wrapped up in their own personal missions.
You couldn’t deny it anymore. Something huge was going on.
In the morning when the three boys woke up, they immediately called Max and El to come over so they could warn them that the Mind Flayer might be back. Apparently you had missed out on some huge fight between the two couples, and Max and El had become closer because of it. At least you could be happy about that. You knew how much Max always admired El, and wished that they would be friends.
The five of you sat around Will as he explained how he knew that things were starting again. The first time he felt it was the night you drove them to the movies to see Day of the Dead. You knew the power going out hadn’t been a fluke.
Will was worried that when the gate was closed, it didn’t kill the Mind Flayer, but locked him outside of The Upside Down instead.
It didn’t make sense to any of you, but then again, none of it really did.
You looked down at your watch as the kids tried to figure out how it could be possible, realizing that you were supposed to be on your way to Melvald’s for work.
“Guys, I’m really sorry, but I have to go. Promise me that you won’t do anything about this until we get a hold of somebody to help us? I’ll try calling around again once I get to work.”
Mike opened his mouth to argue, but Max put a hand on his arm to shut him up.
“We promise.”
You raised an eyebrow at her, knowing that there was a pretty good chance that she was just lying to appease you, but you didn’t have any other choice but to believe her.
“Okay… See you guys later,” You said, narrowing your eyes suspiciously. “I really mean it, you know. You need to wait.”
“We know,” She replied with a fake smile. You groaned frustratedly and began to walk up the basement stairs.
“Just… please be safe and don’t do anything stupid,” You called down to them in a last-ditch effort before disappearing through the door.
Upon arriving at work, you weren’t surprised to discover that Joyce had called off again, leaving you to man the store on your own for most of the day. You tried several times to get a hold of somebody - anybody - but came up empty. You called the Hawkin’s Post, the police station, the Henderson household, and Scoops Ahoy, all to no avail. Not being able to get to Steve and Robin made you the most nervous. There was no telling what they had gotten themselves into at this point.
You even tried to call the Wheeler house to see if the kids had better luck, but Mrs. Wheeler informed you that they were no longer there. You were disappointed, but certainly not surprised. You asked her if she could relay a message to either of her kids as soon as they got home, and then let your head fall into your hands after you hung up the phone.
These people were trying to kill you.
You tried your best to distract yourself by sketching, but ended up spending most of your day staring into space and tapping your foot anxiously.
As it neared the end of the day, the phone finally rang and you ran over to pick it up.
“Melvald’s General Store, how can I help you?” You spoke into it frantically.
“Y/N? It’s Nancy,” She answered, taken aback by the panicked tone in your voice. “My mom said you called. Are you okay?”
“Oh thank god, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all day. Where were you last night?”
“I… it’s a long story. Why?”
“Because I was at your house with your brother and his friends, waiting for you to show up all night.”
“What? Why? What’s going on, Y/N?”
You sighed.
“It’s a long story. Just, where are you right now?”
“At my house.”
“Let me guess,” You said, planting your hand on your forehead anxiously and sucking in a shallow breath. “The kids still aren’t there, are they?”
“No… Is that bad?”
“I’m not entirely sure yet, but it’s definitely concerning. Listen, I’m stuck at work right now, but can you pick me up at my house around eight? We have a lot to catch up on.”
“We certainly do. I’ll see you then,” She agreed before hanging up.
After you locked up the store and made it home, you waited by your window for Nancy to pull up, biting your fingernails anxiously. As soon as you saw her car’s headlights, you ran outside and jumped in next to her.
“Okay, start talking,” She said after she pulled away from your house, and you didn’t waste any more time before filling her in on what Will had explained to you.
“I’m sorry, but how could the Mind Flayer be back?” She finally asked after taking a long time to process everything you had said. “I watched it leave Will’s body.”
“Yeah, but did you see it die?”
“Well…no. It kinda just disappeared. But, El closed the gate. The demogorgons died, so it must have died. there’s no way it could be back.”
“I know. But Will says it is.”
“Well… maybe it could be something else,” She said with a shrug.
You narrowed your eyes.
“Something else? Like what?”
You turned to her when she didn’t immediately answer. She was trying to figure out how to tell you everything she had been through in the past few days the quickest way possible, but you were impatient after what you had been through, and the lack of sleep certainly didn’t help either.
“Like what, Nancy?” You demanded again.
“Just give me a second, it’s hard to explain…” She said, taking a deep breath. “Jonathan and I were investigating something for the Post. This woman, Mrs. Driscoll, called about rabid rats that were eating her fertilizer and I tried to bring it to my boss, but of course he didn’t believe me or care. And I couldn’t let it go. So Jonathan and I went back to check on her last night and she… she was eating the fertilizer. We called 9-1-1 and they took her to the hospital and she just kept screaming, 'I have to go back, I have to go back.’ It was terrifying, to say the least, and we really didn’t have an explanation for the police that made any sense.”
The longer she told her story, the more your head began to hurt. You rubbed the space between your eyebrows and squeezed your eyes shut.
“Fertilizer? She was eating fertilizer?”
“Yeah. That doesn’t sound like what happened with Will to me. Does it to you?”
“Nope,” You replied with an exasperated chuckle. “That one’s definitely new. Goddammit.”
“They tried to write it off as a schizophrenic episode, but I’m definitely not buying that. Plus, my boss was acting so weird. Something else is going on. I know it.”
“I know,” You sighed. “I had that feeling, too, when we couldn’t find Will. I think we all did.”
“Yeah, well… not Jonathan, apparently,” She said between clenched teeth.
You raised an eyebrow at this sudden display of aggravation.
“Speaking of Jonathan, where is he?” You asked.
“Yeah… about that. We got fired and he’s pretty furious with me at the moment. Turns out they weren’t so thrilled that I didn’t drop the story and sort of broke into Mrs. Driscoll’s house. I may have gone a little too far trying to prove that I was right. But I certainly can’t stop now that I know there’s a bigger story behind this.”
“‘Can’t stop?’ What does that mean?”
“It means, I know we should be looking for my stupid brother, but I think we should make a quick stop first.”
You let your head fall hard against the glass of the passenger-side window, pinching the bridge of your nose between your fingers.
“Lemme guess, you wanna go check on this Mrs. Driscoll at the hospital?”
“…Maybe?” She said with a bashful shrug.
“Of course,” You groaned. “Sure. Why not?”
“I’m sorry. I just… I think we need to be sure if this really is the Mind Flayer or something new. Maybe it could be both. Who knows?”
“Whatever. It’s your car,” You grumbled. “I’m just along for the ride, as always…”
“Look, I am sorry. I can take you somewhere first if you don’t want to go. But I have to see this through.”
You thought you could sense some anxiety behind her display of bravery. Could it be possible that she was scared to go on her own? That didn’t seem like Nancy. But then again, after getting to know Steve and Robin, you knew better. None of your new friends really seemed to be as they appeared. They were all fighting their own battles beneath the surface.
“No, you’re right. We should go,” You backtracked, trying your best to soften up for her. “I’m sorry. It’s just been an insane few days and I haven’t slept in, like, forty-eight hours. First Russians, then maybe the Mind Flayer, now this? I feel like I’m losing my mind.”
Her eyes widened.
“Did you say, Russians?”
“Ugh. Forget it. Not important. We can revisit that later,” You muttered, waving your hands in the air.
“Oh… okay.”
“Anyways… I know you’re probably exhausted, too, and going through your own stuff. It’s not fair for me to be so grumpy. I really am sorry.”
“It’s okay. Believe me, I get it. I’ve been pretty pissed off, myself,” She scoffed.
“I bet. It’s bullshit they fired you guys.”
“Right? Thank you! I wish Jonathan could see that, too. They just think so little of me there. Like I automatically don’t know how to do anything because I’m a teenage girl. They never took me seriously. All they wanted me to do was keep my mouth shut, look pretty, and deliver their coffees and lunches. And that is so not me, you know? And it just felt like… like Jonathan agreed with them. Like that’s how he saw me, too. That’s the worst part. I expected it from them, but not from him. I’ve never felt so… unseen. I’m so angry with him I could just scream.”
You blinked at her, unsure what to say.
“That’s awful, Nance. I’m really sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry,” She said, chuckling at herself self-deprecatingly. “Now is not the time to talk about this. I’m just… I don’t really have any girl friends that I can talk to about this kind of stuff.”
Your heart broke a little from hearing this. You knew that Nancy had lost her best friend, Barb, a year and a half prior, and felt sad for her that she was struggling to find a similar connection.
“Oh… well… I don’t mind,” You said with a warm smile. “It’s kind of a long drive to the hospital, anyways. We’ve gotta talk about something, right?”
She smiled back at you shyly, unsure if you really meant it or not. You nodded, willing her to continue, and she obliged.
You let her rant about how Jonathan didn’t have faith in her that something fishy was going on again in Hawkins, and didn’t understand what it was like to be a woman in a male-dominated work environment. She apologized again for talking so much and you reassured her that she had nothing to apologize for, but she fell silent anyways. Then This Is the Day by The The came on the radio, and Nancy sighed happily and turned the volume up.
“I love this song,” She said with a smile. It was like she had gotten everything off of her chest, and she could finally breathe again.
“Me too,” You agreed.
It was true. It was one of your all-time favorites, and you were happy to share it with her.
You both sang along to the chorus, and at a stoplight you turned to Nancy.
“Hey,” You said, a serious expression on your face as you put a hand on her shoulder.
Her smile faded.
“What?”
“‘This is the day, your life will surely change. This is the day, when things fall into place,’” You quoted.
She stared at you with her eyebrows knit together, confused and slightly embarrassed for you, before you both broke out into laughter. The two of you had never actually joked together before, and this was your attempt to make her smile. You were relieved that it worked.
“That was…”
“Lame. Yeah, I’m sorry,” You laughed. “But it’s true. You and Jonathan are going to be okay, and you don’t need those assholes at the Post. You’re headed for bigger and better things, anyways. You are Nancy Fucking Wheeler, Hawkins’ resident badass. Everything’s gonna fall into place again. You just need to give it time.”
“Thanks,” She said quietly, so touched by this that she wasn’t sure what else to say.
“Sure. I mean, of we survive the night, that is,” You joked, making her laugh again.
Then after a beat, she cleared her throat and turned to you again.
“So… speaking of relationships. What about you and Steve? How is that going?”
“How is what going?”
“I saw how often you guys hung out at school. You can tell me if the two of you are going out. I’m totally okay with it.”
Your eyes widened in shock, mortified.
“OH. NO. Uh, no. No. We’re just friends. Not going out. I swear.”
“Oh… sorry. I just assumed…”
“It’s okay. You’re not the first person who’s thought that.”
She chuckled at your reddening cheeks and you fell silent.
“Well, I think it’s really great that you guys are such good friends.”
“Yeah. Me too. He’s an idiot, but he means well.”
She laughed again in agreement, then her smile suddenly gave way to a frown.
“What?” You asked her.
“Nothing. I was just…does he… ever talk about me?”
You weren’t expecting that question.
“Uh…” You said stupidly, trying to think of a good answer for her. She backtracked before you could. You could tell she regretted asking it as soon as the words left her mouth.
“Sorry, you don’t have to answer that,” She said quickly, her cheeks turning red.
“No, it’s fine. I’m just trying to figure out whether you want me to lie to you or not,” You teased her lightheartedly, trying to make her feel better.
She smiled at this bashfully, looking at you out of the corner of her eye as she tried to stay focused on the road.
“Forget it. I just know you guys are close, and I’m sure he told you what happened between us. I would just understand if you don’t like me. That’s all.”
You were shocked by this. You felt that if one of you had to be worried that the other didn’t like them, it should have been you.
“Oh, no. I… I like you, Nancy. Smart, kind, determined, and she knows how to use a shot gun when she needs to? What’s not to like? Besides, Steve has never ever said anything bad about you. Not once.”
She shook her head disapprovingly at your flattery, and seemed genuinely surprised that Steve didn’t seem to hold a grudge against her.
“Really?”
“Really. Maybe he was heartbroken for a little while, but he never blamed you. And I certainly don’t either. Not that it’s any of my business, but I don’t think it was either of your faults in the end. Things happen. You guys were just going through a lot.”
She pursed her lips and did a little nod in agreement. You couldn’t stop yourself from saying what you wanted to say next. You wanted to bring it up before, but you weren’t sure if you should.
“Which actually reminds me…” You continued hesitantly. “I never told you how sorry I am about Barbara. I know she was your best friend. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you. I wanted to say something sooner, I just wasn’t sure how.”
She was surprised by this, and unsure of what to make of it.
“Oh… uh, thank you. Yeah. It hasn’t been easy.”
You probably should have ended it there, but you couldn’t help yourself.
“Also, I probably shouldn’t say anything about this, but for what it’s worth… I know Steve is sorry about how he handled everything. He just couldn’t figure out how to deal with it. The only way he knows how to cope with things is to push them away. But I’ve been watching him the past eight months, and I think he’s really changing. I think he’s trying really hard to be better. It’s kind of amazing, actually.”
She stared at the road as she pondered this. Then a smirk appeared on her face as she turned to you.
“Are you sure you guys aren’t a couple?”
“Uh, yes. Very sure. One-hundred percent sure. Just friends.”
“Okay. Well… thank you for saying that. That helps, a little.”
“I’m sure he’ll find the courage to tell you himself someday, but I just thought you should know that.”
“You’re a good friend,” She said genuinely, a kind smile on her face. It flustered you. You smiled back, unable to help the feeling of pride that was arising in you. This meant a lot, coming from her.
“Listen, I know we don’t know each other very well, but if you ever need somebody to talk to again, I’d be more than happy to listen.”
“Thanks, Y/N. I really appreciate that. And I’m here, too, in case you ever need anything. I owe you that, at least. I don’t know why you watch after my brother and his friends, but I’m really glad that you do. They’d probably be dead or in jail without you.”
“Eh. I don’t know how well I’m doing on that front right now,” You chuckled. “But it’s really no problem. They keep me out of trouble, too.”
“I seriously doubt that,” She laughed.
“Yeah, no, that was a complete lie. My life is absolute chaos now. But it’s not so bad…I guess. It could be worse.”
For the first time in a while, you actually believed this. You remembered again how lonely you had been throughout high school. Sitting there with Nancy, you decided once and for all that a life full of monster hunting with your friends was better than a boring and lonely one. You couldn’t even imagine where you would be right now without them. You certainly wouldn’t be in Nancy Wheeler’s car, finally becoming her actual friend.
Maybe this really was the day where things would fall into place.
After making a stop in the hospital gift shop to by a bouquet of flowers, you followed behind Nancy as she marched confidently to the front desk of the emergency care unit.
“Hi,” She said cheerfully. The woman at the desk only grunted in response.
“Uh, I’m here to see Doris Driscoll,” She continued. “I… think she was admitted last night?”
“Name and relation?”
She hesitated, looking at you, then back to the woman.
“Uh… Nancy… Driscoll? I’m… Nancy Driscoll. Her… granddaughter.”
She stared at Nancy, clearly not buying this, but didn’t seem to care enough to object. Then she turned her gaze to you, and Nancy spoke up for you.
“And this is my… sister, Y/N. Y/N Driscoll.”
You grinned at her awkwardly and nodded, and she shook her head at the two of you before reaching to grab a pair of name tags to write your aliases on.
You walked down the hallway to Room 403, then both stopped in front of the door to take a deep breath before going in. You weren’t sure what you were about to see, but you knew it probably wouldn’t be good.
You snuck in quietly and shut the door softly behind you as you realized that Mrs. Driscoll was sleeping. Nancy rushed over to grab the chart from her bed to read it.
“Anything weird?” You asked her.
“Not sure yet,” She replied as she reached into her bag for a notepad and began copying down key information.
You waited anxiously for her to finish, unable to help yourself from staring at Mrs. Driscoll as she stirred in her sleep. Then her heart monitor began to beep rapidly, and you shook Nancy by her shoulder to get her attention.
“Nance… I found something weird,” You said nervously, pointing to the heart-rate number that was quickly beginning to rise above 150 BPM.
You both stared at her helplessly as she coughed and sputtered, and then thick, dark veins covered her face. Her eyes snapped open, and they were completely black. She roared inhumanly as the lights began to flicker rapidly.
“Oh my god,” Nancy whispered as she looked up at the lights, realizing that this was eerily similar to what you had experienced with Will back in November.
You watched in horror, unable to move, trembling in fear until it eventually stopped, and Mrs. Driscoll fell unconscious again.
Then you each stood in silence, panting as you tried to process what you had witnessed.
“Okay…” Nancy eventually said, still breathless. “I believe you now. The Mind Flayer’s back.”
You nodded rapidly, your breath catching, too, as you tried to speak.
“Told you so.”
#steve harrington#nancy wheeler#stranger things#stranger things reader insert#stranger things imagine#stranger things fanfiction#st3#steve harrington fanfiction#steve harrington reader insert#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington imagine#jonathan byers#max mayfield#will byers#mike wheeler#eleven#jane hopper#eddie munson#joe keery#joe keery x y/n#joe keery x fem!reader#joe keery x reader#joe keery reader insert#joseph quinn#joe keery fanfic#joe keery imagine#eddie munson reader insert#eddie munson x female reader
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Match Review: Paris Saint-Germain Féminine 3-1 Manchester United Women
It was heartbreak in Paris on Wednesday night as Manchester United fell to defeat against the French giants in the Parc des Princes, and a 4-2 aggregate defeat over the two legs meant PSG qualified for this year's Champions League at the Red Devils' expense.
United were underdogs coming into the first leg at home, having never played a Champions League match or even a qualifier game before. Still, optimism reigns supreme and United have steadily grown in stature over the past few years to the point of now being a reliable contender for the WSL title and in cup competitions.
Chawinga is proving to be a real asset for PSG already, and threatened United's goal within the first few minutes; outpacing the centre-back pairing of Turner and Le Tissier only to be met by a brave Mary Earps on the edge of her box who, once rounded, gave Maya Le Tissier time to block the finish before the goal line.
PSG made the breakthrough in the 17th minute via Lieke Martens, but for her good finish it was Chawinga's driving running and tenacity which took so many of United's defenders out of the picture.
Ella Toone rightly looked sick after missing a great chance to equalise in the first half following a good counter attack alongside newcomer Geyse, but otherwise United looked fairly tame going forward - something uncharacteristic given the quality amongst Geyse, Galton, Toone and Malard.
The second half started immediately different, with a much more clinical United build up in the attack opening PSG up. Smart dribbling down the right from Geyse, a tidy low ball in, and Lisa Naalsund slotted home into the top corner. Game on... or so fans thought.
PSG immediately ran to the other end and equalised through Martens, with Tabitha Chawinga yet again causing mayhem for United's backline. In Paris, Canadian international Jayde Riviere was at RB, with usual choice Hannah Blundell at LB, but whoever had been in that slot was getting smoked by Chawinga's elite pace. It felt like Bale vs Maicon all over again, and I'd LOVE to see Chawinga come up against the departed Ona Batlle for a real test of skill, mettle, and character.
Toone missed another chance to even things up after a great run from Galton and smart defensive drawing from Geyse, but unlike the earlier effort this one she hit well and it was a good save by Kiedryznek to deny her.
PSG's third goal came from right midfielder Sandy Baltimore, who bullied past Blundell to round on Earps and the near post before lifting a cross-cum-shot high and just into the far corner. A fluke goal, maybe, but intentional or not it was a beautiful finish.
The game wasn't without controversy, with Leah Galton scoring a header from a beautiful, lofted pass by captain Katie Zelem with shades of Michael Carrick to it. United - especially Galton - felt they were back in the tie, but an injury to keeper Katarzyna Kiedrzynek seemed to at first rule out the goal, only for the refereeing team to then adjudge the goal as offside. Replays show that Galton was VERY comfortably onside, and she jumped entirely fairly for the header - potentially with no contact if we can believe the TV replays. A disappointing decision against United that could have perhaps turned the tie, but this is what Aston Villa manager Carla Ward alluded to after the WSL opener - refereeing teams need to be full time employed to guarantee their dedication to the role, focus on the game and the laws, and to progress their skills. In this case, however, I think it's fair to say that the much debated VAR would have also been very helpful and would have easily ruled in United's favour.
It isn't all doom and gloom though. As mentioned in the last review, United have done us proud. This is our first foray into Europe, and hopefully not our last. There's a good blend of experience and youth, and players are still gelling in terms of synergy. No Gabby George hurt us at left-back, a poor refereeing decision potentially altered the game, but importantly lets not forget that PSG are a good team too. United were the underdogs. I've lauded Chawinga a lot but the team as a whole is a good unit that are well drilled and tactically responsive. They have weaknesses, like all teams, and the fact United exposed them is a good sign of the progress the team has made. On another day, perhaps United at 3-2 can go on to equalise and sneak through the tie. Fine margins. It just wasn't our day. We go again on Sunday away to Everton. It'd be nice to give them a bit of a snotting to get the defeat out of our system...
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#manchester united#man u#man united#man utd#manchester reds#mark skinner#paris saint germain feminine#champions league qualifier#geyse ferreira#ella toone#leah galton#jayde riviere#tabitha chawinga#Katarzyna Kiedrzynek#PSG#MUFC#Sandy Baltimore#Lieke Martens#Youtube
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All of Nick Mohammed's season 3 notes from this tweet, now hopefully easier to read
. As before, so much of Nate's story is deliberately unseen, unscripted or dialogue free - even more so now Nate is out on a limb. That feeling of abandon and loneliness were/are great drivers for Nate. In so much of the first half of S3 he's alone.
. Despite what Nate did to Ted, I felt it was important to aim for redemption right from the start of season three, even if it was primarily in the pauses between lines or in the way Nate's posture betrays his confidence. The horror of what Nate's done, of what he's becoming, of how he betrayed Ted, of the specific things he said haunt him throughout season three and no amount of bravado, fancy cars or words of 'encouragement' from Rupert can ever fully hide that.
. Incidentally, Nate's mum is called Maria Shelley - and Mary Shelley gave birth to Frankenstein/Frankenstein's Monster! "What have I become/what have I created!"
. We see Lego Nate on the Richmond bench in 301… a sure sign of where things are headed - but we've a long way to go yet! More on the nature of redemption below, but even though that word is used a lot, 'catharsis' is probably a better way to describe Nate's S3 arc. To an extent redemption is in the eye of the beholder and as far as Nate's story is concerned it's more a look into our capacity for forgiveness. For some, there's nothing Nate can do to redeem himself - what he did at the end of season two simply crossed too much of a line. But for others, he will have done enough. Neither interpretation is right or wrong, but the challenge of season three with Nate was to make people question - even if just for a split second - their judgement at the end of S2.
. Part of the difficulty in forgiving Nate is because we believed in him from the start. We're so predisposed into buying a redemption story if we start off not liking them/their behaviour, but this was never the case with Nate - we rooted for him right from the off. Rebecca, Jamie, Colin, Isaac and even Higgins all make very questionable choices at the start of S1 - one may even argue just as bad as Nate's actions in S2 - but our capacity and desire to forgive isn't nearly as seductive as our desire to judge.
. Thanks to brilliant designer Paul Cripps, the first time we see Nate in Rupert's office is almost a direct parallel to when Anakin visits Emperor Palpatine's throne room in Return of the Jedi - a sure sign that Nate will eventually be redeemed!
. So here's a lovely example of Jason being Jason but also how often art imitates life in Ted Lasso… All through season one Jason would toy with a deck of playing cards on set practising sleight of hand. (Jason is a brilliant magician and it's something he and I would geek out over from when we first met and all through filming season one). In season two, because of Covid, there was way less time for this kind of social interaction, not least because we had to stay apart between takes. But just before we shot the scene in the lift in 304 (the first time Ted and Nate see each other following Nate's departure in S2) - and I don't know if it was by design or sheer fluke - Jason started toying with a deck of cards again… and that rush of adoration and connection between us all came flooding back. Even though I'm sure it was purely on a subconscious level, it was honestly so useful to use as a reminder of Nate's deep-seated love and appreciation for Ted.
. In 305 Nate opens up to Jade and says "[my date had to…] be really mean and leave" which is exactly what Nate did to Ted at the end of S2. Even though there's a way to go, there's a tiny moment of realisation here. A flash of the true Nate - which Jade sees.
. In 306 when Ted hallucinates seeing Nate in the diner we did the switch on camera for real (I think it's called a Texas switch and there's some great examples of it being done brilliantly in films on YouTube!) Supporting Artist Harry enters frame just as I dash behind camera. Hats off to the brilliant David Rom and Matt Lipsey for fathoming the choreography of this!
. 307 is the first time we see Nate smile and genuinely mean it/feel it all season (when looking at himself in the mirror in The Taste of Athens). Finally he has a chance to achieve something in his life without trampling on others - and it's no surprise that he ultimately returns to arts and crafts, something that connects us to the S1 version of Nate (and that connects him, specifically, to family). Up until this point Nate deliberately modifies his behaviour depending on what he feels others want to see in him (for better or worse). Jade doesn't want or need any of that.
307 is also the first time Nate refers to himself as 'Nate' - the name Ted gave him. Another sign that he's slowly but surely becoming comfortable with who he is.
. In general, Jade is such a guiding light in Nate's journey. That personal growth, intimacy and the beginnings of a truly meaningful relationship are subsequently enough for him to start seeing things differently… Not dissimilar to how Ted empowers Nate throughout S1.
While I remember, I'll share a time-lapse of the wig being put on shortly, but hugest thanks to Chloe Hooker, Sophie, Nicky and team for pinning me in every day! From 310 onwards (more on that ep below) we switched to a much softer wig, which was deliberately less styled. A sign that Nate is becoming more like his old self. Of course he could never go fully back to having black hair - unless he dyed it! - but I like to think of the grey as a constant reminder to what Nate did and has been through. To a degree his tale is a cautionary one: careful what you wish for.
. As with the hair, Nate's suits track his downfall too. It's no coincidence that Nate chose a black suit to emulate Roy following his inappropriate pass at Keeley in 211, which is gross for all kinds of reasons, but shows Nate's toxic and confused mindset toward the end of S2. This suit stays with Nate for much of S3 but the way he wears it changes. I was forever asking Jason when we'd see the grey suit again but Jacky (costume) had a better idea! We do see it, but only the jacket. It's in the montage at the end of 312 when Nate's in the window seat (!) of the Taste of Athens enjoying a meal with his family and Jade. It's important Nate isn't beholden to Ted by this point hence just the jacket and not the full suit. I love that!
. Whilst on the subject of costume, the turtle necks and gilet were all chosen to give Nate a more uptight look while at West Ham. His posture becomes tense and unnatural. Again, it's a tiny thing, but it's another nudge towards him wearing the wrong outfit/pretending to be someone he's not. When you compare to how relaxed Nate is to when he's with Jade (in his own clothes) or to how he is in the gloriously comfy tracksuit that he wears in 312 on return to AFC Richmond!
. Nate is fixated on Richmond from 308 onwards rather than himself. His behaviour is changing, he even thanks Roger after the match win rather than rudely dismissing him as per previous episodes. These aren't grand gestures and are less meaningful when viewed individually (Nate categorically shouldn't be praised for not cheating on Jade in 309 for example) but all these things taken together possibly amount to something close to redemption and are signs of Nate developing the emotional intelligence he's been lacking up until this point. This is a side note but Nate writing a text response to Rupert after he's seen Ted and Henry in the stands in 308 and then deleting it/changing it to something Rupert will want to hear is a great way of showing where Nate's heart truly lies despite what he's presenting.
. 309 is the first time Nate rejects Rupert (in Bones & Honey) and - importantly - their last direct interaction. The thought process in the aftermath of that moment is very specific… Nate's reaction goes from shock (did I just say no to Rupert), to have I lost my job (selfish), to where am I/I need to get out of here (realisation). His walk to Jade's (unseen) and their hug in the doorway is ultimately his release. But whilst Jade plays a huge part in Nate's arc (and impeccably played by Edyta Budnik) it's important Nate ultimately takes things into his own hands. But she remains a magnificent guiding light.
. I've already written about the significance of the violin piece used in 310 but just to gush a bit more about my amazing wife...! We first met during an orchestra rehearsal (she plays viola and piano) so to get to play this piece with her for the show was incredibly special. This scene is also special as it's the only scene that Rebecca and Nate 'share' (Rebecca's also my wife's name!) Both Rebecca (the character) and Nate are connected through Rupert - who once had a hold over both of them. And so to underscore her speech with Nate playing violin was such a great move on the writers' part (the intercut sequence was all scripted). A perfect example of 'show don't tell' by colliding their two storylines in this way.
. We discussed so many different possible violin pieces. From memory the alt contenders were chiefly Ashokan Farewell, Danny Boy and an arrangement of Come Josephine, In My Flying Machine (which Jack whispers and sings to Rose when they're striking that pose on the front of the Titanic!)
. I asked Jason to be in my eye line when Nate's dad is speaking to him because when Nate aims his words at Ted in 212 those were undoubtedly intended for his dad (I would also try and interchange the words 'dad' and 'Ted' in the script so that I'd say one but think the other but don't tell sound!) The situation in 310 is mirrored. Nate doesn't cry here like he did in front of Ted though (and will again in 312) and it's important that that's not Nate and his dad 'fixed'. It does represent the start of a healing process, though. Similarly, Nate and his dad don't hug... that moment is saved for when he's with Ted and learns of his departure in 312.
. I'm sure that many of you clocked it already, but the lavender fabric softer that Nate secretly adds to the towels at the end of 310 and which Will smells is a callback to 202 when Nate ridicules Will for using it in the first place. Worth noting too that Nate apologises and makes amends in the order that he broke those relationships (starting with Will, then Colin, Beard, Keeley and ending - ultimately - with Ted).
. Nate looking up when Jade seemingly disappears in front of Isaac, Colin and Will in 311 is a callback to when Beard seemingly disappeared in Nate's office in 207!
. I teased the first two words of this before 311 came out but I'll share Nate's full letter to Ted shortly too (shout out to the amazing props dept, Lizzie and Dylan for having so much fun writing this as it was indeed 60 pages and very Nate!)
. Fun fact: I had to stay under the table for 45 mins while they shot all the previously unseen security cam footage of Nate hiding under the table at the end of 212 though revealed to Beard in 311 - including everyone doing a big conga line past Ted's desk!
. The decreasing screen time with Ted towards the end undoubtedly points towards his ultimate departure. The last scene I shot on the show was the scene between Ted and Nate in 312 and was - whether by design or a sheer fluke of scheduling - filmed on our very last day. We effectively shot the rehearsal because I was too upset! The picture I accidentally posted on Instagram before realising it was a huge spoiler on the last day was of Nate in AFC Richmond gear but with a clear view of the slate confirming Nate's return in S3 - not my finest hour but attached here for completeness!
. Once again, thank you for all your insights, theories, for your love (and hate!) to our phenomenal team of writers and directors and incredible crew. It's been an absolute blast. Now let's go Greyhounds!
Yes there will/will not be a season four - delete as appropriate ;-)
#nate is fixated on richmond rather than himself kill me#long post#jesus christ nick this is so long make a blog#please do not share 60 pages on twitter i will not be able to handle it#ted lasso#nick mohammed#nate the great
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Can Baiken or Nagoriyuki kill Raven?
Hmm~~ THAT'S IN INTERESTING QUESTION!
Especially now that we know some elements of Supernaturally-influenced weapons can harm Gears. (Like Nagoriyuki's sword.)
Gear Cells were formed in the Backyard, after all.
Applied Magic Science.
Immortality is a facet of abilities that Demihumans are known to possess... and they are by their very nature beings that exist beyond the Backyard's ID system... so they literally exist beyond the rules that the Backyard has pre-established!
Still, in the case of most Youkai... Youkai by themselves cannot BE KILLED... rather, you would have to "kill" the "story" or "Legend" behind the Youkai in order for them to experience death.
The mythology that keeps an immortal alive, so to speak.
It's probably different and unique for every different circumstance, Raven or Sharon not the least of which.
What we know IS certain is that Raven died as a Knight of the Crusades (the original 1200 A.D. Crusades against Jerusalem in Israel)... but that didn't stop him from coming back to life.
So... something "about his life" or "about his story" is what is keeping Raven alive.
Was it his unsatisfying death? Not likely... if that were true everyone who died an unfair death would still be alive!
Raven has already proven that his multiple deaths are not just some circumstantial fluke as well... meaning it wasn't just a one-time thing.
But... can something spiritually enhanced supersede the requirements that keep Raven alive?
Again, it's experimental to say the least...
For Baiken's part... she was horrified enough to learn that slashing I-No would not kill her. And Raven's circumstances aren't much different... even if she fights Raven in Xrd, her sword alone doesn't have that kind of power.
If Baiken were to fight Raven now with her "current" mindset, it's hard to say if that would make a difference... no longer a sword of vengeance, but a sword of regret...
As she said herself, her sword is now meant to "cut people free"... but if that means what she says it does... would that truly mean "freedom" for someone like Raven, who considers DEATH his own sense of FREEDOM?
Perhaps in Raven's case, it is not his own will that keeps him alive, but the will of his people... or the will of those who believed in him that is what keeps him bound to the realm of the living?
Or perhaps further... perhaps it is simply something Raven has yet to understand ABOUT himself that he cannot yet grasp on his own terms...
Perhaps just talking with someone like Baiken might dislodge a truth or two? But would that end in death?
Again, hard to say either way... but until we know the exact reasons and cause for Raven's existence... much like Happy Chaos, we can't come to ANY conclusions!
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VOICEMAIL
Jessica Telephone finds nothing stranded Elsewhere.
(Hi! I haven’t written anything in ages and I’ve been thinking about Jessica Telephone getting alted lately, so decided to write a quick fic about it. Sorry if it’s not great, like I said it’s been a while)
“I’m sorry, but the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected.”
Jessica groaned as she hung up. The last few weeks were maybe stressful at the start, but at this point all she had room left for was frustration. Her and a few teammates found themselves stranded out here almost half a season ago, a weird fluke from a system meant to help keep the ballpark clear during salmon migrations (at least she’s pretty sure it was a fluke, maybe management was just being weird again with whatever construction projects they let the Fans sponsor). Rylan and Gerund figured out the way back pretty quick, apparently only a few days travel. Jess told them to go on without her, she’d catch up eventually. Maybe she was even sure she meant it when she said it then.
Weird posters have been appearing around the ballparks lately. A lone eye, similar to that seen on the tarot spread they just pulled from the concessions, ‘TRUST ME’ written under it in purple lettering. Jess wasn’t convinced to believe whoever was responsible for the posters was benevolent. While the tone was certainly different, it seemed like the same ploy the Coin used to gain power (or so she heard, those seasons are a blur to her), and look where we are now. But there was another implied option in the text here, and that’s what she was still out here for.
Normally for something like this she’d call her brother. Of course he couldn’t respond, but it helped her process her thoughts. She needed to get them out in the world, and Seb was still the only person she felt close enough to talk about them with. She needs to get it all out. Does she go? Does she leave everything behind? The Fans’ expectations of her have only grown higher as their idolatry continued, and being on a struggling team certainly doesn’t alleviate that pressure. And hey, maybe if she left she could find Seb. Not the one she was trying to call, much as she still cared for him. But still, could he ever really replace-- her mind was racing again. She tried to call him again, she knows that wherever Here is is somehow stopping her from reaching him but still she has to keep trying.
“I’m sorry, but the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected.”
She threw the phone out into the nowhere around her. Fuck it, who cares? She should probably head back by now, she’s not figuring anything out staying here, might as well head back and see the team out to another mediocre finish. But then she hears something. The phone she tossed away begins to ring. Well, what’s another few minutes going to hurt?
She finds the old flip phone at the base of an old wooden end table, the paint peeling off. Sitting on top of the table, another phone, this one a rotary phone with much of the outer casing cracked or missing. Sitting beneath the rotary phone is another of those posters, TRUST ME. The flip phone eventually stops ringing on its own.
“Hey, you’ve reached the voicemail of Sebastian Telephone! I’m busy right now, but leave a message and I’ll get back to you by the end of the season! Thanks!”
“You have. ■ ■ . New messages.”
She started listening to the messages she had sent to him over the years. Her complaints about the constant trades, her frustration about teams still failing to pull it together even with her, her panic after she Tasted the Infinite, all of it. And when she thought she had finally gotten through them all,
“You have. 1. New Messages.”
“You’ve reached the voicemail of Jessica Telephone!” It was her voice, no doubt about it, but it definitely wasn’t her. “I’m... here at the moment... call back... thanks!”
Almost unconsciously, as soon as the message ended she found herself again dialing Seb’s number. But this time, something picked up.
“You’ve reached the voicemail of Jessica Telephone!” the thing using her voice answered.
“I don’t care what you are, stop fucking around and tell me what do you want.”
“...you deserve to be free with the rest of them. I’m... way out.” The call suddenly ended, and the wind somehow managed to dislodge the poster from under the rotary phone. TRUST ME. Jessica understood what it meant. She picked up the receiver of the rotary phone.
Jessica Telephone’s Alternate is called.
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things you said after we fell in love
Did you ever think it was a phase?
Katie shakes her head. She lies in bed next to Steph at 5:30 in the morning on a Saturday, not sure if she ever really fell asleep on Friday night. It’s hard to sleep next to Steph. It’s hard to believe she’s really there, that she’s not going to get up and fly away. So Katie shakes her head again. Says there was a moment where maybe she wished it was a phase – a moment where she could pretend like Steph used to pretend, like it was all desperation, like it was all a fluke. But she couldn’t. Not when she couldn’t get Steph or Lizzy Blossom or Molly fucking Ringwald out of her head.
Molly Ringwald? I always wanted Ally Sheedy.
Katie smiles. Tells Steph it makes sense for her to have liked the basket case. That’s who she’s lying next to right now, after all, this morning with a slowly rising sun caught between the blinds. She says it makes sense for her to have liked Molly Ringwald, too. Something about pretty princess-looking girls who seemed like they were born just to torture you. Not because there was anything wrong with them. But because you couldn’t get to them, no matter how hard you reached your arms up and out.
Steph takes a deep breath and wraps herself around Katie after that one.
What about that? What if I reached around you?
And Katie grins again. She feels Steph’s hands around her waist, so she reaches out and holds onto them like they’re going out of style. It’s the most wonderful thing, Katie thinks, to have memorized everything about Steph’s hands. Even when she can’t see them.
I’d say it was about time.
She feels Steph smile in between her shoulder blades.
I love you.
Katie’s not sure she’ll ever get used to hearing that. On the upside, it means she’ll probably never tire of it, either. From an awkward strawberry cheesecake to an early-morning embrace. If only she could go back and know it now. If only she could tell herself that love would be beautiful, and its name would be Steph.
I love you, too.
#drabble#ch: katie sheehan#ch: steph armstrong#food#ship: happy together#year: 2006#asks#marshalcoded#thank you!
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