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andwereallmadhere · 3 years

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You’re Not Alone | Jean x Reader

Paring: Jean x f!reader (slight Eren x reader mentioned)

Genre: FLUFF!, song fic

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings/ Triggers: Alcohol, underage drinking

A/N: I was inspired by the Big Time Rush song You’re Not Alone (Link below). This is not the first thing I have written, but it is the first I am posting. Characters might be OOC but I feel like the overall feeling is there. I hope you enjoy!

Link to song: https://youtu.be/tbS5JF32szE

I bet you didn't notice First time your heart was broken You called me up and we talked til the morning

Jean is woken from his sleep by the harsh ringing of his phone. He fumbles for a minute trying to slide the little green button to answer the call. He puts the device up to his ear before stuffing his face back into the pillow, “Why are you call me it’s the middle of the night?” Sleep heavy in his gruff voice. He is quickly answered by your voice sobbing on the other end of the receiver. This immediately broke him out of his sleep-filled mind. He should have known when he saw your picture flash on the screen that you would only be calling if it was important.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” He says wiping a guilty hand over his face. You didn’t respond. Still unable to form proper words through all the tears. He continues to quietly talk to you in an attempt to calm you down. Once the sobbing ebbs he finally asks, “Y/N, can you tell me what’s wrong?”

He only hears you choke out a single word, “Eren.”

Jean and Eren never did get along, in however long you and Jaeger had been dating. But, as your best friend, Jean tried his best to accept him since that would make you happy. So hearing that HE is the reason you are crying at 2 A.M. enrages Jean.

“What did that bastard do? Did he try something you didn’t want? Do I need to beat him up? Y/N, I swear to god if he hurt you I will-“

“No Jean. It’s not like that.” “Then what is it like?”

“He dumped me.”

“Y/N…”

“He just came by my house and told me that “I’m just over it I guess”. What am I supposed to do with that?”

“He’s a dick, I’ve told you that from the beginning.”

You only respond by sobbing more.

Eren had been your first real boyfriend. And as much as Jean didn’t want it to be true, you were head over heels. Everyone knew this would happen eventually, he just hoped there would be a little more warning. Maybe a fight or something but just cutting it off without a real reason? Jean had theories that he was probably hooking up with someone else and didn’t want the guilt of being a cheater, but you didn’t need to hear that right now. You didn’t need overprotective Jean hating on Eren. You needed best friend Jean to comfort you and assure you that you are worthy of love and everything is going to be okay.

“Hey, you can do better than him. He’s the real loser here. Any guy would be lucky to have you and the next one has to go through me first.” Jean says half meaning it, half attempting to make you laugh.

“Stop it, Jean, You know you’d lose every fight.” He can almost hear the smile in your voice, despite the tears that are certainly still running down your face.

“Why don’t I come get you? We can go for a drive or something.”

“Okay.” Your soft voice is followed by a sniffle.

“I’m on my way.”

Jean gets out of the warmth of his bed and finds his sweatpants. He throws on a hoodie and grabs an extra in case you forget to bring your own. It's pretty chilly out tonight. He grabs his keys and begins the drive to your house. Once he arrives he sees your form sitting on your porch. Always the gentleman, he walks over to you and offers to help you up. You grab his hand and he can still see the tear stains on your cheeks. Once you are on your feet he pulls you into a hug. “Hey,” Jean says returning your tight squeeze. “Let’s go get you some food.”

You don’t respond, but your grip around his waist losses and you begin making your way to the car. He opens the door for you and watches as you immediately grab the spare hoodie and slide it over your head. It’s obviously too big for you, but you are grateful for the extra fabric to bury your sad face in.

The ride is mostly silent, Jean wanted to give you room to talk if you wanted. After a bit of having his hoodie pulled up to your nose, it was clear that you were too caught up in your own drowning thoughts to say anything so he turned on a very soft playlist from his phone in hopes of providing you some distraction.

Jean stops the car and you see he has brought you to a Waffle House. He knows it your favorite. Sure the food isn’t great but there is something about the mediocracy of the establishment that gets you. “Come on slowpoke, I’m buyin’,” Jean says after opening your door. You give him a thank you before following him into the restaurant.

The two of you find a small booth, given that it was well into the night, there weren’t any people there other than the handful of employees. “You’ll have to talk to me eventually you know,” Jean says. You take a moment to look up from the menu he knows you have memorized by now. Just then a waitress comes by to take your order.

Jean already knows exactly what you want because you always get the same thing. Just as he tells the waitress your order you finally speak, “Hey Jean.” Your voice is slightly above a whisper, “can I have chocolate milk?” You look back down at the table while Jean turns back to the waitress, “And can the lady have a chocolate milk, please and thank you.” Jean smiles at you as the waitress walks away, your silly request signaling that his best friend is slowly but surely coming out of this shell of sadness.

Sure enough, you begin to open up. You tell him more of the details about Eren dumping you. Your food arrives and you laugh when Jean spills his glass of water on his lap. The two of you eventually move to the barstool countertops to talk to the fry cook, trying to convince him to make you a pancake instead of a waffle. Eventually Jean pays, leaving a generous tip as an apology for your late-night shenanigans.

Walking to the car you can see the pastel colors of the impending day reaching the sky. Not ready to go home yet you lean into Jean’s body, tugging on his arm, “Let’s go watch the sunrise!”

“You’re ridiculous.” He says shaking his head, “get in the car.” He smiles and opens your car door. Of course he was going to let you watch the sunrise. He is going to drive you to the park and find a place high up and the two of you will talk about nothing at all until you fall asleep in the passenger seat of his car. He is really just happy that the outing has worked. No, 4 A.M. waffles cannot cure your broken heart but it at least made you smile.

And the time that you were stranded I was there before you landed He was a no show, I made sure you got home

High school seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. Graduation came and went and your family decided that you should spend the summer at your aunt’s house on the other side of the country. Of course, you loved your aunt and her kids, but spending your last real summer break away from your friends wasn’t a huge selling point. Ultimately, your mom said you had to go because the trip was already paid for and your aunt was expecting you. The only reason you eventually agreed was that the majority of your little group were all attending the same college, so at least it wasn’t goodbye.

The day before Freshman move-in everyone decided to throw a party at Eren and Mikasa’s house. Eren’s parents were out of town a lot so that is usually where the gang got together. Jean and Eren still don’t along great, but Jean was close to Sasha and Connie who happened to be okay friends with Armin and Mikasa, and thus your little group was formed for better or for worse. After the night Eren dumped you out of the blue, Jean was furious with him, only for you to accept Jaeger’s lame-ass apology and take him back a week later. Luckily there hadn’t been any more repeats of that night. Maybe Eren was telling the truth and did actually like you, so Jean played nice even if he didn’t fully forgive the brunette.

And now he was here, with you on FaceTime while you wait for your flight at the airport and Jean is getting ready for Eren’s dumb party that you won’t even make it to.

“So when does your flight get in?” Jean asks folding the remains of the load of laundry his mom did this morning.

“I think about 11 if it’s not delayed again. I’m super bummed that I won’t make it in time for the party.”

“It’s at Jaeger’s house, can’t he just bring you by after he picks you up?”

“I guess so, but he also said something about taking me home because it’ll be late and we have move in tomorrow.”

Jean hums in response. It is a valid argument logically, but none of them have seen you all summer except for the occasional FaceTime. The only real reason Jean was going to this stupid party was that you were supposed to be back in time. Jean can hear a voice come over the intercom in the airport. “Hey, Jean, that’s my flight. I gotta go.”

“Alright, Y/N, let me know when you land. See you soon.”

With that, the call ended. Your face replaced by a photo of you and Jean at prom making silly faces. Yeah, Eren was your date and Jean took Mikasa, but you all took photos together and his mom insisted on getting one of the two of you. It was obvious that the picture pissed Eren off, and that made it even more special to Jean.

Eventually, Jean finished the laundry and headed over to Eren’s. At least everyone else will be there and he can kick Connie’s ass at beer pong. Jean purposefully arrived a little late, so he knew everyone else would already be there, and sure enough, Eren had the white folding table already set up in the garage and Armin had started a little bonfire in the backyard. “Horseface You made it!” Connie says throwing an arm around Jean.

“I told you not to call me that.”

“What are you going to do send Y/N after me? Oh wait…She’s not here!”

“We both know Y/N could easily kick your ass so shut up.”

Jean went around greeting everyone else and made good on his promise to dominate at beer pong. A while later he takes a seat next to Armin, who was currently roasting a marshmallow. “Ever put peanut butter on a s’more? Whole new experience.”

Armin looks over at Jean, “Y/N show you that?”

“Oh no, secret’s out,” Jean says taking a drink of water. After the game of beer pong, which was a little closer in score than Jean would have enjoyed, he decided to take it easy on the booze so he could actually drive home.

“When does her flight get in anyway?” Armin asks removing his marshmallow from the flame.

“She told me about 11 when we talked earlier. Said Eren was going to pick her up.”

At the mention of his name the two look over to see Eren taking a shot with Sasha and Connie. “Did anyone tell him that?” Armin says with a small chuckle.

Jean looked at his watch, it was only 9, if the bastard stop drinking now he might be sober enough to come get you. So Jean let it slide.

But Eren didn’t stop drinking. It was now 10:30 and Eren was plastered. Jean watches as Eren and Connie arm wrestle and sighs. What would Y/N think if she saw her boyfriend like this? “Shit,” Jean says standing from his chair around the fire. This gets the attention of Armin and Mikasa who were also over Eren’s drunk bullshit, “What is it?” Armin questions. “Y/N. Eren is supposed to pick her up from the airport in 30 minutes.”

“Well, that’s not happening!” Sasha laughs, also drunk.

Jean stood up and finished his soda before pulling his car keys from his pocket.

“And where are you going Horseface? Afraid you’ll lose in arm wrestling?” Eren suddenly joins the conversation. Jean cannot believe this asshole, he doesn’t even realize! Jean contemplates throwing a punch, but that will inevitably start a fight and the airport is almost 40 minutes away so he’ll already be late. So instead, Jean crushes the soda can in his hand and walks away. “Ha! Horseface is a scary cat!” Eren yells at his back before Mikasa smacks Eren on the head.

Jean’s anger melts through the drive. As upset as he is that Jaeger forgot, Jean is excited to see you. He’s not sure how he’s going to explain this one to you though. He parks his car and glances at the time, 11:15. At least you haven’t been waiting too long.

Luckily the airport is pretty small and there are only a few incoming flights so it’s not hard to figure out which gate your flight should have landed at. He thinks it's a little odd you haven’t texted him that you landed safely but he dismissed it as he made his way to the gate. Jean is surprised to find the gate empty. No hugging families or people searching for their luggage. There are a few scattered people here and there, also apparently picking up various passengers. After talking with another guy, Jean finds out that the flight had been delayed before take off so it is running late. You were not stranded at the airport, you hadn’t even landed.

Jean found a seat and began scrolling on his phone. He didn’t expect to have so much time so he didn’t really bring anything with him, not even headphones to listen to music. He sat waiting for what must have been a solid 30 minutes before he started to fall asleep in the chair.

“Jean!” He hears your voice call, this rouses him from the light sleep. Once he sees your face he can’t help but smile. He stands to walk over to you but is practically knocked over when you throw yourself into his arms. “Hey, stranger.” He says wrapping his arms around you.

“It feels like it has been forever!” You pull away from him and reach for your suitcase, but Jean beats you to it, grabbing the handle before you can. “I can carry it you know.” But you know it’s useless arguing. Mama Kirstein raised a gentleman, that’s for sure.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at a party?” You ask, giving him a side-eye as you follow him to his car. “Yeah…about that…” Jean still hasn’t figured out exactly what to say about why Eren ditched you.

“Eren drunk himself stupid, didn’t he?” You say, almost casually. Like you expected it all along.

“Yeah, but lucky for you I know a guy with a soft spot for you.” Jean places your things in the trunk before opening your car door.

“My shining stallion, always coming to my rescue.”

“Yeah, yeah, get in the car Princess.” He says. Eren’s stupid horse jokes have started rubbing off on you.

You spent the whole drive telling Jean about your trip, even though you talked with him almost every day you were gone. Jean in turn told you all the ridiculous things Sasha and Connie did while you were away. They still had group game night, which surprisingly Eren and Jean only tried to kill each other a handful of times. You laugh when Jean tells you the full story about Connie smashing Sasha’s face into a cake she brought one night, claiming “There is never a bad time for cake.” Sure they all sent you the pictures but you still loved hearing the story. And before you know it Jean pulled up in front of your house.

He carried your suitcase to the door and turned to you, “I’ll pick you up at 6 alright?” Right, Jean offered to drive you to orientation tomorrow and it was a four-hour drive to the University. With all the excitement of seeing your best friend, you forgot about college tomorrow. “Ugh so early? That’s like 4 hours from now”

“Unfortunately. Even then we’ll be cutting it close.”

“Fine. I’ll see you at 6.” You say giving him a final hug.

“Jean," you say into his chest, “I’m kind of glad it was you and not Eren that picked me up. I missed you. Thanks for always being there for me.”

“For you. Always.” Jean returns your hug before walking back to his car.

All the days that you were stressed out Feeling like pulling your hair out They were all missing but I was here listening

Freshman year came and went and now you were currently crying over your trigonometry textbook before your final tomorrow. Your other finals had gone pretty well and other than this stupid test you were finished with your first full year of university. Surprisingly Jean and Eren didn’t kill each other despite being suite mates. Originally the two were supposed to be roommates, but Armin quickly volunteered to switch with Jean, the blond being a little more equipped to handle Eren. You on the other hand shared a dorm with Sasha and Mikasa. Since it was the three of you you managed to snag a bigger room and didn’t have to share a bathroom with anyone else. When the gang got together for movie night it was usually in your room since the boys lived just down the hall. Overall it had been a pretty good year.

Everyone else had already finished their finals, the majority of your group moving back home on Wednesday, except Jean who had his last final today. Jean also offered to stay an extra day so you could drive home together, but he would never say that out loud. “I’m gonna use the extra time to relax since Jaeger is gone. Living with him for a year almost killed me!” He would claim, ever the dramatic. But you knew he was also staying for you since you didn’t have a car and he did a similar thing for winter break.

Trig had been your worst class all semester. No matter how many times you worked through the problems you were always getting a different answer, usually the wrong one. Armin helped you study for your midterm, but since he was already gone you were left alone. While your overall grade wasn’t bad considering you did all of the extra credit options your professor offered, this test could make or break your final GPA. If you could get at least an 85% it would bump your grade from a high C to a low B. So you have been doing nothing but math since your other finals finished this morning. And you were about to cry. Again. After completing the study guide and taking half a dozen practice tests you aren’t anywhere close to what you needed. After grading your last practice test, you barely managed an 80% and that was being nice to yourself.

“I’m never going to get this.” You sob, ink running from the tears now spilling onto your paper. Then there is a knock on the door.

“Who’s there?”

“The pizza guy?” Jean says from the other side of your door. At the mention of food, you realize you hadn’t eaten since breakfast that morning, which wasn’t saying much since you had a muffin and cup of coffee after Mikasa yelled at you for forgetting to eat earlier in the week. But you didn’t want Jean to see you struggling this much. Yeah, you could talk to him about anything but he was always so gifted when it came to school, even graduated top of the class in high school. So the idea of him seeing you brought to tears by something he saw as easy made your heartache. You were afraid he would accidentally make fun of you in that cocky way he does, or he would offer to help but realize you were a lost cause before ditching you altogether.

“Go away, Jean. I’m studying,” You yell back, attempting to hide the overwhelming stress from your voice.

“Well take a break, I wasn’t joking about the pizza. Mikasa told me you haven’t been eating so you better open this door, Y/N, before I resort to drastic measures.”

You give up getting him to go away, plus that pizza sounds so good. You get up and open the door, “And what would these ‘drastic measures’ be?”

“Sasha left her keys in our dorm, so I probably would have just walked in.” Jean finally takes a look at your face, and despite your efforts to wipe away your tears, Jean knows you’ve been crying.

“Y/N what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure? You-‘ You cut him off before he can finish. “What kind of pizza did you bring?”

“Your favorite, of course.” Jean sets the pizza on your bed while you grab some drinks out of the little micro-fridge. Jean glances at your desk and quickly takes in the scattered notes and tear-stained papers. Suddenly it makes sense. Your lack of eating, how you haven’t been responding to texts, and the tears when you opened the door. “I can help you you know? I took Trig last semester.”

“I told you not to worry about it.” You say attempting to be mad at him for snooping but it’s pointless. You take a seat on the bed and open the pizza box, “Horseface.” You add almost in a whisper.

Jean visibly shrivels at the name, “No. Not you. Not allowed.”

This small comment was enough to change the subject, and his mild anger at such a stupid name pulls an amused smile out of you. The two of you eat and converse as usual. He tells you about his last final and how Eren left their shared bathroom a mess that he needs to take care of before you leave tomorrow. You talk about how one of your professors just showed a movie during the final period since they are required to hold class despite not actually giving a test. And you feel the stress leave your body, even if just for a moment.

After a while, Jean looks back over at your desk before grabbing your textbook and the last practice test you took. “This isn’t bad, Y/N, looks like some simple mistakes that you keep making, fix those and you’ll be fine.”

“How can I fix something I don’t know I’m doing wrong?” You ask.

“Because I’m going to help you, idiot.”

Jean proceeds to walk you through your last practice test and showing you the mistakes he was talking about. After helping you do a few more problems, Mr. Kirstein makes you do another practice test that he’s going to grade. While you take the test Jean lays on your bed, scrolling through his phone. He’s trying not to look at you, not wanting to add more pressure to you by feeling watched.

After you are finished you pass him the paper and watch as he marks up the pages with a red pen. Eventually, he turns to you and gives you back the test, a solid 83%. Not as good as you hoped but you don’t want to discredit Jean’s tutoring. After walking through the test you look at the clock, it's currently 1 A.M.

“Well Y/N, your test is first thing in the morning and I don’t think stressing yourself out more is going to help you at all.”

“But what am I supposed to do? I need an 85!”

“You need sleep,” Jean says, packing up your study materials.

“One more practice test, then I sleep, I swear.’

“Sleep now. Maybe you can do another in the morning.”

There is no use in arguing with Jean, he always gets his way. Once the study materials were all put away Jean takes your laptop and opens up Netflix, knowing you won’t be able to sleep if you were still worked up. The two of you sit side by side on your bed watching some stupid movie until Jean notices your eyes have closed and your breathing has evened out. As quietly as possible Jean closes the laptop and climbs out of the bed. He puts a blanket over your sleeping form and turns off the light before closing the door to your room.

The next morning you wake up with a text from Jean. Opening your door you find a fresh coffee and a doughnut waiting on your doorstep. “That idiot.” You mumble to no one, but gratefully pick up the small meal he left for you. After eating you get ready to go and resign to looking over some notes before the exam. Once in the classroom, all the stress from last night comes crashing back. You just have to keep reminding yourself that a C in trig isn’t bad. Your GPA will still be above a 3.0, barely but still. And before you know it your teacher has told you to begin your exam so you log on to your computer and start your test.

The good thing about the test being on the computer is that you’ll know your results immediately. After going over the answers a second time you finally hit the submit button. You stare at the little blinking cursor as it checks through all your answers, holding your breath. Suddenly your final grade pops up on the screen and you can’t stop the tears that slip from your eyes. You gather your things and head back to your dorm. But you find Jean waiting outside the building, leaning against the car without a care in the world. “JEAN!” You practically scream upon seeing him. He can see the tears on your face, “It’s okay, Y/N. Trig is pointless anyway. You still did great even if you got a C.”

“I did it! Jean, I got a 90%!”

“That’s my girl!” Jean says giving you a high five.

“Couldn’t have done it without you, teach.” You say giving him a big grin.

“Come on, Y/N. I say we get you a celebratory milkshake before we drive home. Jean says opening the door for you. Your eyes follow him as he walks around the car to the driver’s side. You are lucky to have him in your life. Yeah, he can be kind of an ass from time to time, but his heart is always in the right place.

'Cause I'll be right there (right there) For every minute This time, it's no different Whatever happens you should know 'Cause you're not alone, girl Look over your shoulder You don't have to wonder 'Cause you know, you know, you know You're not alone, girl

#jean x reader #jean kirstein x reader #jean x you #jean kirstein x you #attack on titan #aot fanfiction #reader insert #jean kirschtein fluff #jean kirstein fanfiction #jean kirstein fanfic

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ziggyzagreus · 3 years

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I Have Returned!!!

Hey Guys!!!

This is going to be a long post, but a long-awaited one as well, so please bear with me to read it (especially if you are following me).

I sincerely want to apologize for being gone for so long, and it’s been bugging me that I haven’t said why.

So, as many of you know or remember, I posted VERY frequently back from about January - February/March of 2021. I have gained in that time 1000 wonderful followers, and I love you all so so so so so very, very much.

But, sadly, in early February of this year, I suddenly vanished. I am here to explain why that is, in as much detail as I WANT to give (don’t worry, I don’t feel a need to be overly apologetic. None of what I’m sharing makes ME uncomfortable to share).

That being said, though, if talk of things such as hospital visits, mental health, or anxiety surrounding gender/sexuality bother you, then please proceed with caution through this post. Nothing will be graphic, and I’m okay, I just don’t want to catch anyone offguard since I know these can be triggering subjects.

Anyways, so around February 8th (or the night after the Super Bowl), I got quite sick to the point where I could not sleep through the night. None of my symptoms were COVID symptoms, and I was doing completely virtual school, but my life was still disrupted by 3 consecutively sleepless nights. Eventually, I went to the emergency room, since I have a history of GERD as well as other gastro-intestinal issues, and I was worried something was seriously wrong. Turns out, I was having anxiety-induced symptoms, which made sense because I have a history of serious (albeit undiagnosed) anxiety, and at the time was having a prolonged panic attack because of everything going on; college decisions, my parents being down my throat, my parents making ME schedule and arrange all of my doctor’s appointments for this very sick-period, and other life things.

In the end, I got officially diagnosed with chronic anxiety, but not medicated. I got short-term stuff to help with my symptoms, and the best relief was that I was physically fine (no cancer or ulcers, as I and some of the doctors had feared).

But then, whoop-dee-doo, right after I got un-sick (kindof), my anxiety got racketed up again.

I don’t want to get TOO into this part of the story, since it is an ongoing process and I am (unfortunately) still closeted to my IRLs for the most part. But I came out as non-binary around mid-March, and now use they/them pronouns. (My name is Frankie, by the way. I am just now realizing that I never even put pronouns or a name in my bio LOL). But that was a very long-suffering journey that I finally stopped gatekeeping myself from; but since coming out, the stress has not eased very much.

The sick part of my time has faded, but by the time it did, it was exam season and I was unable to rack up any lost hours here on Tumblr or on Hades. And when THAT ended, I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL and went on a 2 week road trip with my mom (after being fully vaccinated for a month!).

Now, I am back - to unfortunately, another remarkably anxiety-inducing situation, but one I am able to manage more thoroughly since I am not juggling school, too. I am working a very minimal job and simply packing (stressful) and looking forward (positive) to college.

That being said though, upon my return I have realize that the Hades fandom has been... quiet. I want to return to this account, I want to bring you all more content, but... is anyone out there?

You all, my followers and anyone seeing this post mean so much to me. You brought me more joy than you could know in a really, really difficult time for me and I’m really sad that I had to ghost for so long. I want to come back but I fear coming back to an empty room. I miss you guys and I don’t want something I put so much effort and thought into to die out. I miss it here.

So, chime off if you’re still here. If you’re new, chime off so I can follow you. I want to hang out with y’all again. Just let me know you’re out there.

I love you all so very very much, and I want to rebuild the community we once had here.

#ziggyzagreus #ziggy talks #long post #coming out #return to tumblr #hades #hades supergiant #hades game #hades zagreus #zagreus hades #hospital talk #doctors appointment #anxiety #anxiety talk #hades incorrect quotes #hades fandom #supergiant games

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hopelesshawks · 3 years

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Physical Fatality Part 10- Salve

18+ Hawks x fem, pro hero!reader

Summary: You’re a rising star in All Might’s agency. Hawks is the darling of Endeavor’s. By virtue of your job descriptions, the two of you are supposed to hate each other, or at the very least be cautiously neutral. For a long time that’s exactly what the two of you did. You stayed out of each other’s way and formed little opinion of the other. One fateful night at an HPSC gala changes all that. Based on the album Hopeless Fountain Kingdom by Halsey.

If you don’t want to see Physical Fatality content blacklist #hopelesspf

This story will have multiple NSFW parts so it is 18+ ONLY minors dni

Warnings for brief mention of background character death and description of unprotected sex

Masterlist

“The first person I ever loved was named Kiyomi.”

It’s certainly not how you expected Hawks to start this conversation but it had taken nearly half an hour of him pacing for him to sit down next to you on the bed and spit out even that much so you decide to just let him talk.

“I was 18, fresh onto the hero scene and still in that post-debut hustle trying to prove myself. She was a college student. She told me that we’d make it till she graduates. I told her heroism would be worth the wait but she wanted me in an office with a 9-5. We didn’t last. The next girl I fell in love with was Yua. I thought it’d be better because she was a hero too so she’d understand, but before I could ask her out she died in a villain attack. Then there was this one girl with an attitude I met on a mission up north. We never told anyone we were together and in the end we both had way better things to do so we didn’t last long, but I always think about her when I’m in the area.”

“Hawks why are you telling me all this?” you finally ask, starting to get impatient for him to reach the point. You didn’t relish in hearing about his past lovers even if you figured he was telling you for a reason.

“I’m getting to the point I promise. The last one before you was Mirko. I loved her but I lost her because as great as things were going she wanted more time from me and I loved work more than I did her. But when I met you? Fuck (y/n) it was like every single person before you was suddenly meaningless. That night at the gala I was looking for Mirko but the moment I laid eyes on you I forgot all about her. You are genuinely the first person I’ve ever loved more than anything else and I’m sorry I hurt you baby, I am. It’s not that I don’t love you, I’m just bad at love,” he finally finishes.

“If you’re so bad at love then why are you here right now?” You ask. “Can you blame me for trying to be better? Look I could lie and say you’re the one that will finally fix me but the truth is I don’t know, ok? I just know that I want you to be. I want so badly for you to be. Can’t that be enough?” he asks, no pleads, of you and it breaks your heart. “It’s not my job to fix you Hawks. Especially when I’ve got my hands full keeping my career from going to shit,” you reply. “You’re right. Fuck, sorry, you’re right that’s not what I meant. I just...,” he sighs running frustrated fingers through his hair before turning back to you again with a desperate but determined look in his eyes. “For the first time I don’t want to be resigned to being bad at this. I’m asking for patience and a second chance,” he clarifies. “I’m scared,” you finally admit and immediately Hawks is kneeling in front of you, his hands gently cradling either side of your face as he forces you to make eye contact with him. “I know that you’re afraid I’m gonna walk away again but I won’t. I swear to you I won’t,” he promises and his eyes are so full of conviction that your resolve finally crumbles. There’s no denying how genuine he is in this moment and you are so, so tired of hurting him. So you let go of the anger and the hurt you’ve been clinging to for dear life since the moment you read that damned article. “I believe you Keigo,” you confess and it’s one less weight on your shoulders.

You’re shocked at the desperation with which Keigo surges up to press his mouth to yours, his once gentle grip tightening possessively. He pulls away just a bit, his forehead still pressed to yours. You’re both out of breath and panting already and you’re about to close the distance between the two of you again but Keigo pulls away. You whine your disagreement as your hands go to his shirt to try and pull him back into you but he insists. “Say it again,” he commands, his voice shaking. “What?” you ask dazed. “I need to hear you say it again. Please.” “I believe you Keigo.” “Again.” “I believe you Keigo.” “I love you. I’m so sorry.” “I love you too.”

Finally his hands move to your waist, slipping underneath your shirt to find bare skin, and it’s like cool salve on a burn. You hadn’t even realized how deeply you’d ached for him all this time until he was laying you down against the bed. His body baring down on you as he presses you into the mattress. Your lips connect again and all you can think is that you need more of him. You open your mouth in an invitation he gladly accepts to slide his tongue in and tangle it with yours. The kiss lacks finesse, it’s probably the sloppiest the two of you have exchanged, but now is not the time for gentle, tantalizing skill. Not when the two of you have been denying each other all this time. The two of you separate only for brief intervals in order to shed clothing and underwear until there’s nothing left keeping you apart. Finally, finally it’s just skin on skin, your hearts pounding in your chests as if trying to escape and finally be together. “Need you,” you murmur against his lips and he immediately nods, his yearning for you just as overwhelming as yours for him. He presses his throbbing erection into your tight, wet heat so slowly and carefully as if you might break. Or perhaps more accurately as if you might disappear. You realize that every kiss, every touch, every movement he’s made has carried an element of disbelief, as if he cannot fathom that he’s finally with you like this again. By the time he’s fully seated inside you Keigo is absolutely trembling. The two of you stay like that for awhile, just breathing each other in, appreciating the intimacy of being so connected. One of your hands caresses Keigo’s cheek. “Baby why are you shaking?” you ask, even though you’re afraid of the answer. “I just thought I’d never have this again,” he confesses. “I’m so sorry Kei,” you whisper but he shakes his head. “I deserved it.” “No you didn’t. Not all of it.” “I’m the reason everything’s fucked now.” “Faced with Endeavor and the evidence you had, I probably would’ve done the same thing if I were in your position. And the paparazzi stuff I played a part in too.” “But I hurt you.” “And then I hurt you right back.”

It’s quiet for a moment as the two of you let the words hang in the air. You expected the admission to feel heavy but you actually feel the lightest you have in weeks. “We really are a mess aren’t we?” you finally chuckle with a slight shake of your head. “I’d rather be a mess with you than perfect with anyone else,” he swears. “That’s a bit corny isn’t it?” you tease. “Oh absolutely. But I mean every word of it,” he replies easily before pressing a sweet kiss to your lips. It doesn’t take long for it to become heated again. “I’m gonna need you to start moving baby,” you whisper into his ear as one of your hands drifts to the base of his wings to spur him on. “Shit Love, well I guess if you need me that bad,” he smirks but a quick tug on his feathers has him hissing instead. He gives a quick roll of his hips in retaliation before starting to move in and out of you in earnest. God how you’ve missed this, missed him. For the first time since everything went to shit you’re not worrying about your career or All Might or the press or anything else. With each languid thrust, each muttered curse, each lust-filled moan, Keigo cleanses you of the worries and anxieties that have haunted your every waking moment. In him you find relief and bliss and ecstasy, such sweet ecstasy. When the two of you reach your climaxes your moans sound more like sobs as you cling tightly onto each other, scared to let go and risk discovering this was all a dream.

When you both come down from your highs Keigo doesn’t let go, just cuddles you close to him and let’s his feathers tuck you both into your bed. “Do you have any other plans for tonight?” he asks. You shake your head no as you bury yourself closer against him. “Good,” he responds before pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Hours pass the two of you by as you simply hold onto each other, barely speaking, just reveling in each other’s company. You don’t even notice yourself drifting off to sleep, it’s just one moment you’re listening to the quiet sounds of Keigo’s breathing and the next you’re slipping into the first restful sleep you’ve had in a long time.

You wake up to the sound of Keigo’s alarm. He shuts it off quickly but makes no move to extricate himself from your hold or otherwise get out of bed. “You gonna get up and go to work?” you ask. “Don’t really want to,” he sighs, “I’d rather stay in here with just us.” “We can’t stay in here forever,” you point out. “You sure about that? It sounds infinitely more appealing than dealing with Monoma this early in the morning,” he groans. “Believe me I wish we could too, but you have terrorists to catch and I’ve got people to save so,” you gently remind him. “Five more minutes?” “Fine, five more minutes.”

Five minutes passes by all too quickly and soon the two of you are forcing yourselves out of bed. It’s oddly reminiscent of that first night together. Both of you getting redressed without nearly the urgency you should. Both of you ignoring the dread building at the thought of stepping out of the little bubble you had created. Once you’re both dressed and ready you link hands again and step out of your room. Almost immediately you feel the weight of your responsibilities land heavily on your shoulders once again. The two of you move through the apartment to your front door and it feels like that crossroads moment in the hallway when both of you had run opposite directions without so much as getting a name. You hope he’ll understand why you’re going to once again choose to part ways. “You go on ahead Love, I think I’m going to wait to head to the office until closer to my shift,” you tell Hawks as you hesitate in the doorway. “Are you sure?” he asks. “I’m sure. You go ahead though, tell the others I say hi,” you insist. He gives you a worried look but agrees, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before leaving. “Looks like you two are doing better,” a voice comments behind you. You turn around to find your new roommate standing watching you as he eats cereal out of a bowl nonchalantly. “I’m gonna be honest I have already forgotten your name again,” you confess. “Denki.” “Right, Denki. Thanks I guess.” “You’re welcome. Why didn’t you go with him to work?” “All of my coworkers except for the ones who will be busy working with him think I’m a traitorous slut.” “Yikes.” “Yea.” “Anyway I can help?” “You could make me breakfast to make up for picking the lock on my door.” “Fair enough.”

Author’s Note: This was difficult to write tbh because the content from the song it’s based on tapped out pretty quickly and I needed to figure out narratively where else it needed to go, especially considering what’s coming down the pipeline. I hope the result was satisfying and you guys enjoy it though

Taglist [open]: @akkaso @cathy8taffy @eeppff @iikillerkitteh @pixelwisp @pokesosa @lildockel @bread0nhead

#hopelesspf #hawks #wing hero hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n

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wookie92 · 3 years

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WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE A MICROPENIS

My micropenis is approximately ½ to 1 inch long when flaccid and 3.3 inches long when fully erect. When fully erect it has an upward angle and a slight banana curve. It is also very thin (2.8), though proportional to the length. According to calculations my penis has a volume of 36.19 ml / 1.22 fl oz (us). Various studies suggest that the average American penis is 2.8–3.9 inches flaccid and around 4.7–6.3 inches when erect. According to online information at SIZEMEUP, in a room of 1000 guys only 1 would be shorter than me.

In an adult, the average stretched penile length is about 13.24 cm (5.21 in.). An adult micropenis is a stretched penile length of 9.32 cm (3.67 in.) or less. Growing up I remember reading that a micropenis was defined as any penis shorter than 2.8 inches in length. But have been subsequently given new information that slid me well under the 3.67 inch upper limit.

Where Do I Stand On The Penis Size Chart?

All this to say: the majority of average flaccid penises are longer than mine when I am erect.

I cannot say that I am deeply ashamed of my micropenis, but certainly I have experienced shame with regard to my size. I can say that I am extremely self aware of my penis size. This is largely because of the of things I hear women and women say about micropenis, and people’s reaction to my own micropenis.

I can only speak from personal experience, but the number of times I have heard women making fun of men for the size of their manhood is staggering. At one time, I actually overheard three or four of my colleagues at work all agreeing that "men with small dicks should be required to wear a warning sign."

In school, especially high school and as an undergraduate, I was subject to a lot of hazing and bullying that was directly connected to my having a micropenis. As a sophomore in high school I was depantsed at the pool by three bullies when I got an unwanted erection. They lifted me up and held my arms behind me to prevent me from covering my erection so the entire PE class present saw what happened. The coach had left the pool area when it happened. While the three boys were penalized, the damage was done any my “secret” became known through out the school before the end of the day. The teasing commenced immediately and was unrelenting. Even my mother got calls from some friends who had heard about the incident (and my condition). My mother reacted in anger at me that somehow I was responsible for the situation (and her subsequent embarrassment). No empathy there. I was depantsed three more times before I graduated from high school and it was clear to me why I was being targeted.

I was on the swim team and during a competition with a neighboring town, discovered that two of the players from that town recognized me as the guy with the “baby dick” which got shouted as I started my event. So, word had spread. I felt like a pariah.

Numerous scientific studies have suggested time and again that for the majority of women in the western world, tiny penises are simply undesirable. I am 28 and have had just only three sexual experiences (through personal choice) with women, two of which were very humiliating, to say the least.

In high school, my first consensual sexual encounter was with a boy named Billy. I was 13 and he was 15. He was interested in anal sex, and wanted to top me. I was willing to bottom despite the fact that he was very well endowed. He did tease me about my micropenis, but seemed to accept it. I was not prepared for how painful the experience of bottoming would be, but he continued to be interested in me, and treated me well (we even kissed) so I was willing to continue to have sex with him as a bottom. I fell in love. Then he disclosed to his homophobic older brother that we had been having sex and that put an end to our relationship. His brother let me know (rather violently) that I was to stay away from Billy or he would castrate and kill me. Billy, who had a black eye, never spoke to me again.

My first sexual encounter with a woman happened during my Junior year in high school. She was a sophomore and I was a Junior. When I undressed I could tell she was “shocked” even though she was a virgin and had never seen a man naked. She has seen photographs of naked men, and she had a brother in college. She was well pleased with my digital and oral skills, and actually squirted into my mouth (something I didn’t even know was a “thing” that might happen). Unfortunately when I attempted to penetrate her, my condom slipped off, and my orgasm was triggered prematurely as I was trying to thrust into her. She tried to push me off of her as I locked up and started squirting, and was furious that I had ejaculated into her vagina. She said she could feel me ejaculating. She got up and douched. I was too embarrassed to speak more than an apology. I helped pay for her “morning after” pill and discovered that she had disclosed the whole evening, including my premature ejaculation, and condom mishap, to her friends.

As a freshman in college I encountered a very attractive university student who seemed to be attracted to me. When I stripped, she stared at my micropenis, giggled, and put her hand to her mouth, muttering simply "OK" in a tone that suggested she was taken aback. When it came to actually performing, first I found that the condom wouldn’t stay on, but more frustratingly, my micropenis kept falling out every time I tried to penetrate her. She actually asked the traditional joke question, "Is it in?" mistaking my penis for my finger. I wanted to die. It was clear that she was getting nothing out of the experience. I genuinely tried my best to make her happy via oral sex, but she didn't orgasm or enjoy that either. I suspect her encounter with my penis through a wet blanket over the whole experience. When at last I finally thought I was making her content, she suddenly huffed in an annoyed way and got up, saying she needed to use the restroom. And that was the end of it.

I can only imagine the level of disappointment and frustration she must have felt. It must have been a horrendous experience for her.

I decided after that to become a master of cunnilingus so that any future women I encountered would be satisfied, if not by my penis, then my oral skills would more than make up for it. And I did master the art.

While in graduate school at the University of Texas in Austin, I met and married a girl. We had engaged in some sexual activity before our marriage, so she was aware of my micropenis. However our marriage was short lived when I discovered she had been having sex with my then best friend. When I confronted her with her lack of fidelity, she blamed my shortcomings as a lover and told me that my micropenis disgusted her.

Since that time I have mainly had sexual experiences with gay men, though I had a threesome with a woman that went very well.

Aside from personal experiences, the media doesn’t help my self-esteem either. Men with small penis are an ongoing source of amusement in TV shows and movies. I noticed that penis shaming was mostly reserved for villains and comic sidekicks who were never taken seriously. There are more TV shows with “little dick jokes” than shows that don’t have them. No shows make fun of women’s breast size, but targeting men with small penises as a source of humor seems to be socially acceptable. All that tells me that the writers don’t really care if men with small penises are offended or hurt.

The way the media treats the body-shaming of men compared to the body-shaming of women is wildly different. When Donald Trump makes questionable comments about the looks of women, he rightly causes outrage. Lists and videos decrying his sexist remarks have gone viral. Yet when a naked model of Trump with a micropenis was displayed in public in New York City, it was treated like a punch line rather than an attack. Some publications even called it a wonderful piece of art. Hundreds of Americans now have selfies of them laughing at Trump and his micropenis. We defend Heidi Cruz and Megyn Kelly, but where are the people defending small penises? I am no Trump supporter, but targeting him because of his small penis seems wrong.

GUYS WITH MICROPENISES KNOW THEY ARE NOT WELL-ENDOWED, THEY DON’T NEED REMINDING OF IT.

From my experience (having read hundreds of articles, forum posts, videos, and having spoken to hundreds of men and women online), it feels safe to say that the overwhelming majority of sexual partners aren't thrilled about the prospect of sex with micropenises. And if we don’t accept that these views are likely the majority, then we are never going to challenge this blatant discrimination.

I would like to ask people to think about this: If you are attracted to somebody enough to ask them to bed, and if the guy is kind to you, is it fair to write him off based on size alone?

So what do I plan to do about my love life?

Luckily I am bisexual and enjoy the company of men as well as women. I fear that straight men with the micropenis condition suffer worse shame than men in the gay community. Let me be clear, a great many gay men are “size queens” and I have been rejected by more than a few gay men, but now that so many men can meet on line I have been able to meet men who actually “prefer” men with small dicks and so they are not surprised by what I have to offer when we meet. Many of them enjoy SPH (Small Penis Humiliation), but in my life I have adapted to being the subject of humor and, in some cases, can even find that sexually arousing.

So the answer to that question is “nothing”. I try to focus my life on my work, my writing, working out, outdoors activities, sports, and other subjects that interest me. If I started to look for love, it would just make me feel down, and I already struggle with depression and anxiety secretly. I don’t need the humiliation and hurt that looking for love would bring me. Sure, everybody gets rejected, but usually for less hurtful reasons. As a bottom, many men don’t care how well I am hung. Instead they care about how I make them feel when they fuck me, and I have learned to be a power bottom.

Guys with micropenises know we are not well-endowed, we don’t need to be reminded of it. If I’m attracted to a sexual partner, then what they have in their pants doesn’t matter to me; I care more about what that partner has in his/her heart. My extreme self-consciousness about my body makes me feel like everyone else's opinion must be right, that there is something wrong with my size. I just wish people could look past it, so I could too. Because intellectually I know my size is just a variation.

I try to look at it this way. Not everyone is attracted to red hair, or freckles, or blue eyes, or black skin, or hairy chests. People are attracted to differing qualities. As long as I can find some people who are interested in the qualities I possess, and are also interested n me personally, than I am gratified.

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purvishraick · 3 years

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A TALE OF ALWAYS AND FOREVER

CHAPTER 7

Fanfiction : Bloodbound (Choices)

Pairing : Adrian Raines x Amy Richard Parker (MC)

Warning : none

Rating: Teen

TAG LIST : @otherworldlypresents , @evelynistic , @silma-words , @fireycookie , @lauren-raines-x , @nala-raines

If anyone wanna be tagged in future do let me know….

read previous chapter here ….. Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6

So here i promised this last night but sorry it got delayed ...got stuck in some important work .... now here i am .... i hope u like it

Amy had to forcefully cut the call, in order to shut her brother and she new that this will make him angry. But she didn’t need a pep talk for not getting wasted in the club before her interview. She could handle her brother afterwards and the interview was important. She wandered here and there and settled on the bench. She felt like she is being watched from behind but didn’t find someone. Just then a stunning woman with an icy demeanor came towards her.

“Amy?” stern woman said .

“ yes that’s me “ she replied .

“I am Nicole Anderson, VP of operations at Raines Corp. I will interview you . “ she said .

Amy was surprised to see that she was going to be interviewed by someone so high at post but her queries were eased when she reminded her that they take their hiring process very seriously and she followed her in the conference room keeping her confident look .

“ now then. The Raines Corporation is a global leader in technology and innovation . Why exactly are you interested in being the executive assistant to our CEO ? “

“well…” Amy took a deep breath and continued , “ I’d love to help make the world a better place . what I admire most about the Raines Corporation is your dedication to global innovation and improvement. The clean – water initiative …the vaccine for the cerella virus …the green energy project… you guys aren’t just getting rich. You’re trying to help people, to make technology that’ll save the planet. I can’t think of anything better than being a part of that.”

“hmm……a good answer. A bit cloying , perhaps, but Adrian might actually like that “ Nicole said with an appreciative look.

Just as she was going to speak the next thing , the door at the back of the room swings open , and a handsome man in a perfectly – tailored suit strolls in.

Intelligence sparks through his eyes . He was extremely charming , with his black obsidian eyes assessing her , her already killer nervousness now peaked a whole new level.

“ Adrian I wasn’t expecting you…” Nicole asked unable to hide the surprise in her voice .

Adrian as in Adrian Raines …well all escalated very quickly for her .

“ I had a free minute. Is this the candidate ?” he asked taking the authority in his hands as he decided.

Professionalism and seriousness reflected in his voice .

“ yes …but I’ve just started the interview and—“ Nicole asked stammering .

“ I’ll take over from here “ he cut her off not wanting to take any excuses .

“……of course sir , go right ahead “ she surrendered .

Adrian sat across Amy , eyes burning right through her . He has never seen such a beautiful person in his entire existence , god knows how would she be as a person .

Amy’s nervousness grew even more when his eyes bore through her but she remembered once more , she is Amy Richard Parker and nothing in this world ever scares her , she remembered her brothers’ advices on professionality and confidence and recalled her dad’s proud thought about her and her mother’s loving smile . Now that was enough to calm her down , so she put on the brave and fearless smile again on her face and straightened her back.

“ Amy , is it ? “ Adrian looked at her and saw her hazel brown eyes which her so hypnotizing , with all his strength he prevented himself from being lost in them .

“ that’s right “ she said interrupting his thoughts .

“ tell me Amy , what do you desire ? “ he asked her and she was surprised at the question .

Amy was already so mesmerized from him that this question surprised her.

“ You mean ……why do I want this job ? Because I – “ but was interrupted by Adrian .

“ I didn’t ask why you want this job. I asked what do you desire . “ he asked seriously and professionally.

“ I desire ……PASSION “ she answered after thinking fir a while .

“ oh , really ? “ he asked , his brows raising , he was in true sense intrigued by her answer .

“Sorry , if that is too personal but I am just being honest . I want to feel deeply. I want to experience life , live every moment like my last. We never know when is our last moment , it is better to live our life to the fullest than to regret it afterwards . That’s what I desire “ she answered honestly and it was the true answer she saw what happened to her family everything was good and happy then suddenly they lost everything , she do not want to regret anything .

“ I can relate“ Adrian was impressed internally but didn’t expressed it. He supressed a smile to reach his face. He was truly impressed by her desire to live and feel and experience. He now looked at her resume .

“ lets see here … graduated college 3 years ago …masters in communication …interned at Mannon financial…volunteered in San Torbida and France abroad for a year “ he read out and again was impressed from her but wondered why it took her an extra year to sign up for this interview or for that matter any other one .

“ yep that’s right “ she said .

“ well , how was that tell me in three words “ he asked .

“ difficult. Enlighting. Rewarding. “ she replied easily .

“ good , this job can be challenging and unpredictable , are you comfortable running unusual errands ?”

“Absolutely “

I have been doing them since a long time now , she thought to herself , smiling .

“ Handling confidential information ? “

“ I can keep a secret “

You wont even realise how many I am keeping right now too , she thought again and smirked .

“ Working nights ? “

“ Always been a night owl “

Okay , I atleast told him one thing fully without strings attached , she smiled while thinking .

“ Good , Anything else I should know about you ? “

“ Hmmmm …… I have got WORLD CLASS people skills “ , she said with a proud smile .

“ Oh , really ? “ he asked with questioning eyes .

“ I was voted ‘ most likable ‘ in my high school class . Also ‘ most popular ‘ and ‘ best smile ‘ . Technichally you are not supposed to win in multiple categories , but I was able to persuade them . And also the cherry on the top I was the PROM QUEEN “ , she stated out all of her achievements proudly and remembered how happy and proud her father was to see her that day . She and her brothers has always been the brightest in the whole family , anyways. Suddenly feeling nostalgic and tears building in her eyes she averted her gaze on the floor.

“ Thus proving your point “ said a grinning and impressed Adrian , but he saw a glint of sadness in her eyes and he doubted that he saw tears too , and was unable to understand why counting her proud moments made her sad .

“ exactly” Amy said after controlling her emotions and forcing a smile.

“ one more question “ Adrian leaned forward hands folded on the table and with an intense expression , told her the story of a man who got a genie lamp and destroyed everything , and then finally asked her about what should his final wish should be .

“I think his final wish should be to undo his first two wishes “ she said after thinking for a while .

“because ?” Adrian asked curious to know her theory .

“ because he already had everything he could ask for a family and many friends …what could he ask for more it was more than enough …all he wanted or ever needed was right there in front of him …this is a story of temptation and greed …he should have never played this game …all now he can do is making things as they were before “

Her answer was something totally honest … Adrian glanced at her and then noticed how true each and every word was . she was not only beautiful but also quite intelligent …in true sense beauty with brains.

She was quite interesting too …Adrian personally never saw such a person in his entire life … and he needed to know her …he knew that it is a huge risk and a mistake but he already did that when he decided to interview her himself …now he couldn’t resist her … so then he does the only thing he could do …he knew that Nicole will be a big trouble after this but guess he was okay with that if it was what would keep this girl around .

Then he grins brightly at Amy and says

“ You’re hired “

“wait what ? …seriously “ Amy asked with wide eyes , she was surprised , how in world is it possible that someone gets hired so fast …this was weird to her … but of course she was happy .

Adrian left an inside giggle watching her surprised reaction …she looked adorable with those wide eyes …his smile grew even wider … and he extends his hand …which obviously she took .

‘ oh my god …his skin is impossibly smooth…and hold so firm …wow he is really handso-……no no no …stop brain stop thinking …no eyes …don’t look in his eyes for too long … fuck …, I am a disaster …stop cheeks don’t turn red …god please ‘ she thought .

Good god if god wanted to kill her please kill her in this exact moment …someone save her from this embarrassment …she was a disaster with wide eyes blushing cheeks …FUCK.

Adrian saw her flustered reaction which was by far the cutest thing he saw in his life … his vampire senses made her blushing cheeks clearly visible …the dark pink tint on her cheek made her impossibly adorable.

“welcome to Raines Corporation “ , he said with a bright smile

They made eye contact for just moment but everything stood still for that particular moment …it was mesmerising .

In that moment Adrian didn’t knew about Amy but he knew that they were going to go a long way .

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@choicesficwriterscreations

#bloodbound #adrian raines #adrian x mc #adrian×mc #kamilah sayeed #jax matsuo #lily spencer #choices stories we play #choices fanfiction #choices fic writers creations #cfwc #fic of the week

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aliendes · 4 years

Text

Natural Borns - Prologue

ahhh finally posting this fic that I’ve had a bare-bones outline for, for over a year. I absolutely adore the idea behind this fic and the world that I am creating for it. If you like what you read here, please follow my blog for updates. My goal is to update this series at least once every two weeks, but I will likely post the first few chapters in the next couple of weeks. I look forward to growing this au, reblog if you enjoy!

dystopian!au / futuristic!au

Series info/genre: Angset, fluff, (possible) smut NSFW due to darker themes Pairings: ot7 x fem reader (eventual) Warnings: this series will have different trigger warnings listed for each chapter (if there are any), but as a whole, this series will include violence, mentions of depression & other mental illnesses, cursing, abuse, drugs/alcohol, some shitty medical descriptions because i am NOT a doctor, self-esteem issues, fluff, and possible smut in future chapters (but that’s undecided). i will add more warnings/tags in the future if there are any. Description: In the year 2613, over half of the world’s population are what scientists consider ‘designer babies’. YN is a small town girl who is a true natural born, someone born naturally without he help of a lab or gene splicing. Her DNA is greatly sought after, but what is she willing to do to protect it? Word count: 1569 (future chapters will be longer, this is just a prologue!)

In a world where social status is determined by looks, it’s beneficial to have the label ‘designer baby’.

In the year 2613, over half of the world’s population are now what society considers a ‘designer baby’. This term designer baby, coined in 2051 when scientists in Sweden successfully incubated a baby to term by splicing different genes together, is what people call babies born in a lab. It is commonplace now for people to walk into a lab, go through a catalog of traits, pick out their favorites, pay a high price tag, and wait about 9 months for their baby to fully incubate. Then they can take their new bundle of joy home without all the pain (and sometimes heartbreak) of a pregnancy and labor. Most expecting mothers never go through pregnancy anymore, and labor and delivery wards have become nearly obsolete in the richer areas of the world. In their place, companies began to spring up on nearly every street corner that allowed hopeful parents to pick out their future offspring.

The process was actually incredibly simple. Scientists are able to take the DNA of both prospective parents, and splice their genes with other genes of their choosing by removing certain markers for things like eye color while not compromising the parents original DNA structure, and create a zygote in a lab. After about 9-10 months of incubation, this zygote will eventually become the perfect baby, or at least, those parents' version of the perfect baby. The only reason the practice took so long to take off was because of the many protests and movements that took place in the late 2000’s. After the first designer baby was successfully ‘born’, people began to protest the process, saying that it was ‘messing with fate’ and that people shouldn’t have that much power over other humans. After decades of fighting and protests, the first designer baby company launched in 2108, in Seoul, South Korea. Since then, there have been smaller groups and nonprofit organizations that try to fight against gene splicing, but it is mostly accepted worldwide.

Always at the forefront of technology, it was no surprise that the first designer baby company was in Seoul. Hundreds of years later, the largest population of designer babies and companies still reside in Seoul. Over 75% of the population of South Korea is made up of people who were created in labs and have the perfect balance of genes. Some call the country the most beautiful place on Earth. 600 years ago, people would say that because of its rich culture, and scenic countrysides. Now, it’s because the citizens are nice to ogle at.

Designer babies are so common in South Korea, that schools, office buildings, and even entire apartment complexes were built for them. In today’s society, your job, your relationships, and your status is determined by how beautiful you are. It’s easy to tell who is a designer baby and who isn’t. Most people born in labs have distinct features, mostly from the same pool of genes. You see, after a while, scientists started running out of natural DNA to use that people still thought was unique enough. Now, most designer babies have features that stem from the same catalogs, as they are the most popular. Sure, they’re pretty, but they’re beginning to look a lot alike.

Part of the reason natural DNA is so hard to find now, is because a lot of designer babies end up procreating with what scientists dubbed ‘natural borns’, or people with 100% natural DNA, and so most people's DNA is muddled throughout generations. These people are not good candidates for gene splicing as the outcome is not easily controlled. Coming across a true natural born is extremely rare these days and the ones you do find are almost always average looking in society's eyes, so labs don’t bother trying to splice them. It’s not that there are NO natural borns willing to give up their DNA. Companies have applicants all the time, what with the hefty sum they pay their donors, but most do not make it past the application stage once said companies determine their genes unusable for various reasons.

Another problem laboratories run into is the willingness of participants in donating their DNA. The process isn’t as simple as a cheek swab. Once applicants learn about the often painful procedures involved in donating, they tend to back out before signing a contract. These contracts, depending on the company, usually requires the donors to live on company property until they have successfully spliced their DNA. This process involves the donor to take different cocktails of drugs, be put under anesthetic, and be poked and prodded by scientists for weeks at a time. It isn’t the most comfortable thing to go through, but they’re often offered substantial compensation, especially now with the shortage of true natural borns. Some larger companies have been accused in the past of abusing their donors, locking them in prison-like cells and depriving them of food and water, treating them as nothing more than a business transaction, which has also caused natural borns to stray away from donating.

Finding natural borns, or at least partial natural borns isn’t all that hard, though, as most natural borns live in smaller communities outside of larger cities. Because the population of designer babies only continues to grow, most employers no longer hire average looking people. There are even separate schools and hospitals that cater specifically to natural borns, often run by natural borns, since there are a significant portion of designer babies who do not socialize with naturals. Naturals are often considered low-class, and are looked down upon by those in high society. The crime rates against natural borns is becoming increasingly high, which has unfortunately pushed a lot of them outside of metropolitan areas. This resulted in a new social hierarchy where natural borns are at the bottom of the food chain, often poor or even homeless, struggling to find jobs.

In recent years there have been more protests and rallies ran by both designer babies and natural borns who believe in rights for everyone, they are humans after all, to try and fight against the discrimination that is heavily ingrained in today’s culture, but not much headway has been made yet. Currently, all world leaders and politicians are designer babies, so going up against them hasn’t been the easiest.

Because protests are happening more often, companies are having to be even more discreet when it comes to ‘scouting’ potential candidates for donating DNA. They’ve become more desperate to find the new and innovating genes, something unique and different that will drive business in time where labs are a dime a dozen and new genes are hard to come by.

You would know all about that, though. You are living in a small rural town outside of Seoul with your mother and father, both natural borns. Your family has owned a peach farm for the last few decades and makes enough money to upkeep the small orchard by selling to local markets and restaurants. You’ve been approached multiple times by companies, offering enticing amounts of money to you and your parents, promising things like apartments in the city, college tuition, and fancy cars, if you sold them your DNA. You were a true natural born, a rarity, especially in Korea. Not only did you have pure DNA, but you were unique. You weren’t average looking, no you were ethereal, gorgeous, spectacular in many people's eyes. Not for the reasons that you would’ve liked, though.

People only wanted you for your DNA. Whether it be companies who wanted to splice your genes, or other natural borns who wanted to court you and keep you for themselves, breed you and sell their children off to make a quick buck. It was sick, and that’s why your family kept you close. After you graduated high school, you didn’t attend university and didn’t get a job. You stayed on the farm and helped out your father in the orchard. You knew the dangers of the big companies and citizens alike who only wanted to use you. It made you wary of people, shy, and sometimes insecure about your own person. Your parents did their best to keep you safe, shield you from the horrors of the world, and make sure you felt loved. But oftentimes, you felt lonely, left out, especially when you didn’t have many friends. You felt like an outsider, and even though you were considered incredibly beautiful, you didn’t feel like it.

Growing up wasn’t the easiest for you, having gone to a poor, all natural born school from preschool until you graduated. You didn’t have many friends, most of your classmates bullied you, telling you that you didn’t belong there, that there was no way you weren’t one of those designer babies from the big city and that your parents were lying to you, or you were adopted and didn’t know. These comments were hard to hear, but in the end, you know the truth. You are a pure natural born, and your parents loved you and would do anything to protect you.

But when a mysterious company won’t leave you alone about donating your DNA, you start to question your parents protectiveness over you. Among other things, your biggest question was; what made you so special?

To be continued...

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #ot7 x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #jungkook x reader #namjoon x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jin x reader #bangtan #bangtan fanfic #ot7 #bts #bts series #ot7 series #bts prologue #cypherwritersnet

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welllpthisishappening · 3 years

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Welllp These Are Books: the April 2021 Edition

I did not read Romeo and Juliet this month. I read a bunch of other books. Like, a bunch. More than one series. Because Big Bang burnout is real and grown adults missing their deadlines is a real good way to stress me out. So, I read a bunch. Good books, very bad books, books that caused limbs to flail. For positive and not-so-positive reasons. Naturally, all those reasons must be shared. Under the cut with occasionally long and rant-prone reviews, as well as spoilers. Beware of spoilers under the cut. Please keep telling me what to read, internet. My library wish list is almost comically long now.

GIVE ME ALL THE WORLD BUILDING AND SNARK AND FIGHTING! WITH MAGIC! AND SWORDS! IT’S MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!

Shades of Magic Series by V.E. Schwab

Kell is one of the last Antari—magicians with a rare, coveted ability to travel between parallel Londons; Red, Grey, White, and, once upon a time, Black. After an exchange goes awry, Kell escapes to Grey London and runs into Delilah Bard, a cut-purse with lofty aspirations. Now perilous magic is afoot, and treachery lurks at every turn. To save all of the worlds, they'll first need to stay alive.

— Picture it, approximately twelve forty-seven am. My husband is asleep. I am reading. The second book in this series ends. And I say, right out loud, at what might now be twelve forty-eight am, HOLY SHIT IT JUST ENDED. Justin thought we were under attack. No man has ever snapped awake quicker. He was not pleased. At least not in the same way that I was about these books. Which I goddamn LOVED. Loved. The world building. The magic. The banter. Rhy and Kell’s relationship. Once more. RHY AND KELL’S RELATIONSHIP. Which I might have cared about more than the romance??? Maybe??? I cannot get over how good this world building was. I know people have quips with it, and that’s fair. I saw the “twist” coming in the first book, and I think trying to preserve that left some plot holes that are understandably frustrating. Because Lilah definitely needed depth perception to fight as well as she did. Also did Schwab really refer to her as a cross dresser in her author’s note? Yikes. She wore a dude’s jacket, like—c’mon V.E. Other than that though. I loved it. Also shout out to @peglegsjones for suggesting this one in my 2020 post and call out to me for taking so long to read it.

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can't pull it off alone. . . . A convict with a thirst for revenge. A sharpshooter who can't walk away from a wager. A runaway with a privileged past. A spy known as the Wraith. A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums. A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes. Six dangerous outcasts. One impossible heist. Kaz's crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don't kill each other first.

— I’ve talked about how little I cared about anything that happened in Shadow and Bone before, but I kept seeing gifs of the Crows in the Netflix show and my brain was like: huh, I could like them. So, after some help from the very helpful internet, I’m happy to report I do in fact like them. At one point, I slunk into the couch. Like that’s how overcome with emotion I was. Kaz ripped a dude’s eye out! For Inej! Matthias loved Nina’s laugh! I would like to hug Jesper. Seriously, this hit all my high points and world building and banter and I lol’ed at “scheming face.” I would like my hold to come through faster on the sequel.

THEY DID NOT CALL INTERMISSION HALFTIME AND MY COLLEGE EXPERIENCE WAS WAY DIFFERENT THAN THESE KIDS

The Off Campus Series by Elle Kennedy

Hannah Wells has finally found someone who turns her on. But while she might be confident in every other area of her life, she’s carting around a full set of baggage when it comes to sex and seduction. If she wants to get her crush’s attention, she’ll have to step out of her comfort zone and make him take notice…even if it means tutoring the annoying, childish, cocky captain of the hockey team in exchange for a pretend date. All Garrett Graham has ever wanted is to play professional hockey after graduation, but his plummeting GPA is threatening everything he’s worked so hard for. If helping a sarcastic brunette make another guy jealous will help him secure his position on the team, he’s all for it. But when one unexpected kiss leads to the wildest sex of both their lives, it doesn’t take long for Garrett to realize that pretend isn’t going to cut it. Now he just has to convince Hannah that the man she wants looks a lot like him.

— The first book in this series was free on Amazon. So, I read it. And really liked it??? It was so chock full of cliches and badly written tropes and Garrett probably should have accepted that Hannah didn’t want to go out at the start, but like—he was cute? And as we all know I am TRASH™ for stories set in the same verse, so, like, I just kept reading these trashy college hockey books. Trashy is a compliment here. God, these kids had so much sex. So much. An incredible amount, really. I once had a guy tell me he was physically attracted to me, but not emotionally attracted to me in college. Like, that was my college experience. The first and second books were the best, I think. I didn’t really like Dean that much.

MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS A RABBI???

The Intimacy Experiement by Rosie Danan

Naomi Grant has built her life around going against the grain. After the sex-positive start-up she cofounded becomes an international sensation, she wants to extend her educational platform to live lecturing. Unfortunately, despite her long list of qualifications, higher ed won't hire her. Ethan Cohen has recently received two honors: LA Mag nominated him as one of the city's hottest bachelors and he became rabbi of his own synagogue. Low on both funds and congregants, the executive board of Ethan's new shul hired him with the hopes that his nontraditional background will attract more millennials to the faith. They've given him three months to turn things around or else they'll close the doors of his synagogue for good. Naomi and Ethan join forces to host a buzzy seminar series on Modern Intimacy, the perfect solution to their problems--until they discover a new one--their growing attraction to each other. They've built the syllabus for love's latest experiment, but neither of them expected they'd be the ones putting it to the test.

— Ok, I know that sounds bad. Again, I’m a creature of predictable habit and this was the sequel to The Roommate, which I absolutely LOVED last year. But where as the relationship in that one was kind of swoony, this one was...I don’t know, really. Everyone was a well-rounded character and the plot was good, but there was this semi-invisible something that made it difficult for me to get fully on board with the whole story. Honestly, it might be because he was a religious figure?? Also, they got together real quick. Like zero to sixty in twenty-six seconds flat.

I KNOW IT’S BAD, IT WAS BAD AND YET—I CANNOT STOP READING IT???

Too Wild to Tame by Tessa Bailey

Sometimes you just can't resist playing with fire . . . By day, Aaron Clarkson suits up, shakes hands, and acts the perfect gentleman. But at night, behind bedroom doors, the tie comes off and the real Aaron comes out to play. Mixing business with pleasure got him fired, so Aaron knows that if he wants to work for the country's most powerful senator, he'll have to keep his eye on the prize. That's easier said than done when he meets the senator's daughter, who's wild, gorgeous, and 100 percent trouble. Grace Pendleton is the black sheep of her conservative family. Yet while Aaron's presence reminds her of a past she'd rather forget, something in his eyes keeps drawing her in. Maybe it's the way his voice turns her molten. Or maybe it's because deep down inside, the ultra-smooth, polished Aaron Clarkson might be more than even Grace can handle . . .

— Last month I read the first book in this series and it was absolutely ridiculous. This one even more so. The Clarksons are still on the road trip (sans one sibling because she fell in love in a week in the first book) and Aaron was, like, not a root’able character? Very Edward Cullen I’M A BAD GUY, BELLA vibes and his relationship with Grace was so strange. Super rushed again, obvs. Meeting in the woods is weird enough. Professing love forty-eight hours later is decidedly unbelievable. Also there was a kidnapping involved? I totally put a hold on the next book in the series.

COME UP WITH DIFFERENT TRAUMA, I DARE YOU! OR NO TRAUMA. WHAT A CONCEPT!!

The Trouble With Hating You by Sajni Patel

Liya Thakkar is a successful biochemical engineer, takeout enthusiast, and happily single woman. The moment she realizes her parents' latest dinner party is a setup with the man they want her to marry, she's out the back door in a flash. Imagine her surprise when the same guy shows up at her office a week later -- the new lawyer hired to save her struggling company. What's not surprising: he's not too thrilled to see her either after that humiliating fiasco.

Jay Shah looks good on paper...and off. Especially if you like that whole gorgeous, charming lawyer-in-a-good-suit thing. He's also infuriating. As their witty office banter turns into late-night chats, Liya starts to think he might be the one man who truly accepts her. But falling for each other means exposing their painful pasts. Will Liya keep running, or will she finally give love a real chance?

— I had such high hopes for this one. Which is on me, I guess. Because I didn’t hate this one, but it was...not great. Maybe I’m just getting old and crotchety but I am BEGGING romance writers to come up with different trauma for their female protagonists. Not every woman has to have been assaulted to rationalize their current personality. Doesn’t have to happen. Like, ok, yes it does happen. Far more than it should. But that’s an entirely different story, and I am so tired of female characters getting absolutely destroyed by their past only to have that be their defining characteristic for so much of the book. Until a nice man they were initially mean to shows up and he’s UNDERSTANDING and he CARES and it’s just, bleh. It’s bleh. Tired and predictable and I’m over it.

IN WHICH I SHOULD HAVE LOOKED AT THE COVER

Much Ado About You by Samantha Young

At thirty-three-years old Evangeline Starling’s life in Chicago is missing that special something. And when she’s passed over for promotion at work, Evie realizes she needs to make a change. Some time away to regain perspective might be just the thing. In a burst of impulsivity, she plans a holiday in a quaint English village. The holiday package comes with a temporary position at Much Ado About Books, the bookstore located beneath her rental apartment. There’s no better dream vacation for the bookish Evie, a life-long Shakespeare lover. Not only is Evie swept up in running the delightful store as soon as she arrives, she’s drawn into the lives, loves and drama of the friendly villagers. Including Roane Robson, the charismatic and sexy farmer who tempts Evie every day with his friendly flirtations. Evie is determined to keep him at bay because a holiday romance can only end in heartbreak, right? But Evie can’t deny their connection and longs to trust in her handsome farmer that their whirlwind romance could turn in to the forever kind of love.

— Ok, so I had had this book on hold for so long that I genuinely forgot about it and forgot who it was written by. Samantha Young wrote that one book that I called the worst book I had ever read. Only I did not realize that when I started reading this one. So, you see how this sets us up for disaster. Because this book was a disaster. Everyone was goddamn annoying. And whiny. Shit, everyone whined. About everything. Also, the actual writing was atrocious. I am not usually one to be like “men can’t write,” but at one point I told both @shireness-says and @optomisticgirl that this book must have been secretly written by a man because no woman writing it would be so obsessed with pointing out where her cellulite was. Like, what??? Also the first sex scene? Oh my God, I laughed. Guffawed. The so-called love interest literally asked: “Are we going to have sex now?” And then they just did. It was so bad. Also there was a dog? Who went everywhere with the so-called love interest. And they just never explained that? I thought it was going to be part of some crushing and depressing backstory. Nah, he was just there.

HOLY SHIT THIS WAS SO DUMB I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS WAS A BOOK! A BOOK MEANT FOR YOUNG ADULTS! WHAT IS YOUNG ADULT???

The Queen’s Secret by Melissa de la Cruz

Lilac's birthright makes her the Queen of Renovia, and a forced marriage made her the Queen of Montrice. But being a ruler does not mean making the rules. For Lilac, taking the throne means giving up the opportunity to be with love of her life, the kingdom's assassin, Caledon Holt. Worse, Cale is forced to leave the castle when a horrific set of magical attacks threatens Lilac's sovereignty. Now Cal eand Lilac will have to battle dark forces separately, even though being together is the only thing that's ever saved them.

— Remember last month when I was like: can’t wait for my hold to come through on this sequel so I know what happens? What an idiot. THIS BOOK WAS SO DUMB I CANNOT BELIEVE IT WAS A BOOK. As always in my rage-induced rants, no apologies for spoilers because seriously do NOT read this, but Lilac (legit, that was her name) married some other dude but just kept fucking Cale??? Like she had a secret door? So he could come in and they could fuck?? I just—oh my God. So, all these things kept happening. Magic and bad stuff and horses were killed. Lilac’s mother was the absolute WORST. Honestly the most worthless character who at one point was like “well, my story is over, guess it’s time to leave,” and then just left?? Forced Lilac into a marriage of alliance and no love and then everything evil was defeated in point two four seconds. It happened so fast I wasn’t even sure it happened. So, then I’m like, ok, how are Lilac and Cale going to end up together? Because this is YA and that’s how it’s supposed to work. Only her being married and that marriage requiring an heir is something of a rather large hurdle. Don’t worry! Remember when Lilac and Cale were fucking? Everyone totally knew. Including the king Lilac is married to. Who is somehow like...ok with this? And tells Cale that Lilac is pregnant. ISN’T THAT WONDERFUL! Sure, because now they can lie and claim its the king’s heir. ONLY IT’S CALE’S KID! AND CALE IS COOL WITH THIS! His entire internal monologue during this is about how he realizes he might not ever be able to tell his kid he’s their father, but he’ll be around and that’s good. Wait, what??? But there’s more! Not only is Lilac having Cale’s kid, but the king she’s married to is in love with one of Cale’s spy associates. So the king and the spy are going to go hang out (and presumably have their own kids) at one castle and Lilac and Cale are going to go to another. Lilac and the king never get divorced or annulled or whatever. Everyone stays as is and married as is and—they all live happily ever after? This was presented as a good ending, I swear. What the shit, guys, seriously.

#book rec #book reccs #fantasy recommendations #rom com recs #laura reads books #i am still waiting for people to respond to my emails #and only vaguely stressed out about it #welllp these are books

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hearthandhomemagick · 3 years

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Food For Thought - Steven Universe

Hello there, I would like to tell you my story and journey with the amazingly beautiful, and wonderfully written TV Show...

Steven Universe.

I started watching this show when it first came out in High School. I mean, I was so excited to watch it that I anticipated the very first episode and sat down with snacks to observe it’s premier. I had become immediately enthralled not only with the art style, but also with the genuine wholesomeness and elucidations of processing emotions and life experiences. I was astounded that a kids show could express to me how to manage my emotions as well as connect with my moral standings. It’s a show I recommended to everyone, but often didn’t talk about because of it being a kids show, and me being almost being grown. It was my secret love until someone else brought it up.

This show stuck with me through the years, and helped me through some of my hardest moments in life.

I remember watching the episode, “Mindful Education” and melting into Garnet’s lesson of mindfulness and self-awareness. I had been going through a lot at the end of 2016, graduating and going through a rough election along with having to move states for college. My opinions were forming in the extreme area and I had a fire to protect my thoughts and opinions with no restrain or any form of control of my emotional reality. I was rambunctious as much as I was head-strong and, at times, hard-headed all together.

When this episode aired, I didn’t know why I loved Garnet and Stevonnie’s song, “Here Comes a Thought.” But I did, and it still carries with me into my life today.

I want to discuss a specific time, though, that this episode saved my sanity and opened my eyes to a concept I didn’t understand when I first watched it. I was on social media, and was defending my opinions against quite a few people by myself. Eventually, I was getting nasty comments from a bunch of millennials telling me,

“You’re too fucking stupid to understand, maybe you should go back to school, child.”

“You’re so emotional, and your emotions don’t matter here. Imagine being this dumb.”

“Imagine being a dumb bitch like Carly and saying you wanted to cut your penis off to look like a woman.” *NOTE I am not transgender, there is nothing wrong with being transgender and her insinuating such did not bother me. Her rhetoric insinuating trans was wrong is what irked me, this bitch was transphobic and had issues that she needs to repair in her own time. She wrote an entire post based around this context on her personal page using my real name, and she didn’t even know who I was.*

and my personal favorite, “Here’s the suicide hotline, I know your generation is prone to killing themselves and are overly emotional.”

Now, there were over 50, under 100, messages going back and forth where these people were just bullying me and I refused to back down. I wound up in a panic attack in my bedroom, literally wanting to kill myself because they were bullying me. The hotline would have come in handy if it were the actual hotline. I ended up going to my dad and older sister (my older sisters friend was the main one I was arguing with and her posy showed up on my post), because no one on the post was on my side.

Both told me, “If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen.” My sister told her friend to stop, and threatened the other girl for her nasty posts and comments. My dad tried to mediate on the post itself, but the people wouldn’t stop. I eventually had to take it down.

My family didn’t calm me down in this moment. Not even a little bit. It felt like a back-handed helping hand. Like they wanted to protect me, but also somewhat agreed with the people on the post.

The only thing that calmed my nerves in this moment, ultimately, was the song, “Here Comes a Thought.”

I sat in my room, sobbing, hoping to myself that it would make sense as to why it was okay for these things to happen. The song soothed over my nerves, eventually releasing my muscles and giving me a sense ease. I was able to process and realized a few personal things as well. I didn’t realize it, but before long, I was meditating to the song on repeat. I kept telling myself, “I’m okay, this is a thought. A moment. I am not my thoughts. I am not this moment.”

This was simply one of the ways Steven Universe has helped me process and understand myself more. I bring this up because I came across and article today that disappointed me to the core.

The Steven Universe Fandom has toxic tendencies.

I was shook.

How could a child’s show be turned into something so negative? Something that was meant to promote self-awareness, self-love, acceptance of character, and understanding of others had been morphed into a gatekeepers safe haven.

Now I know this isn’t the majority, and before you get offended, hurt or start defending yourself, I want you to ask yourself if what you are defending is an action you would defend from anyone else. If it is, by all means defend your ground.

But the one concept that eludes me, and offers zero substance in terms of valid arguments, is that men can not watch this show. Let me explain why men NEED to watch this fucking show.

My boyfriend watched this entire show, episode for episode, and benefitted from it. This show offered him coping techniques, an understanding of why love should come before war, and mediating every situation so you see and understand every perspective. These are things children shows didn’t offer him growing up, he has often and openly verbalized his need for this show in his childhood because of certain traumas, and we often continue watching it even after seeing every single episode and movie.

This show was never meant for one or two groups of people, and if you feel that way then refer back to the writers themselves who were literally trying to teach the lesson in the show over and over again to NEVER EXCLUDE PEOPLE FROM YOUR GROUP. You exclude people, and you create a division, a war of sorts. You immediately have become the thing Steven Universe advocated against in the first place.

This also leads into the whole “art” situation in the fandom.

This show is anti-bully. There are commercials for it and everything. It is expressed in multiple episodes why bullying is never a good thing in any situation.

You simply cannot justify the hypocrisy in bullying someone out of self-expression that literally harms no one. You can’t justify it.

Think about it. You draw or sketch a piece of art that took you hours, or even a few minutes. It’s your favorite character, and maybe you yourself are going through some mental thoughts regarding your weight that lead you to draw the character thinner or bigger. Size shouldn’t matter in any capacity when relating a character to ones self.

If you’re skinny, you’re beautiful. If you are thick or curvy, you are beautiful. If you are obese or overweight, you are beautiful. Weight doesn’t matter, but representation of body types in different characters does matter.

Imagine a child falls in love with a bigger character, but is experiencing body challenges where she is being picked on for being too thin or scrawny (it happens, I’ve seen it with my nieces). Who are you to say that making her favorite character look like her own body is wrong? Especially if art is a coping mechanism they use for mental health reasons.

Like Malachite, a fusion that was devastating and abusive in every way, you are taking the choice and voice of an entire being to make your actions and opinions “right” or “okay”.

There is so much more I could say on this show, and so much more I could say about the fandom. And I know it is not the majority of the fandom, but I did want to make everyone in the fandom aware that we are human.

None of us are stoic and balanced like Garnet, and even Garnet had problems in her relationship. None of us are strong and laid back like Amethyst, and even she had self-love issues. None of us are as analytical and organized as Pearl, and yet she had problems throughout the series.

None of you are perfect, and to act as if you are is defeating the purpose of a show trying to teach you how to be responsible for yourself and your actions. I’m not perfect either, and preaching about a fandom I’m not a huge part of sounds counter-intuitive, I’m aware.

But my nieces want to watch this show. My nephew watches this show with me. My boyfriend’s niece is going to start watching the show.

Please do not make a toxic environment for kids who need this show to grow up. Kids who experience trauma, and learn from this show deserve a safe space without people trying to justify bullying or force them to think that because they are a boy or girl, they can or can’t watch the show. Without people making people feel bad for being themselves.

Why don’t we create a new space? A space where everyone is accepted as they are, and negative behavior is addressed the same way the gems or Steven would address them. With education, perception awareness, and PATIENCE.

I know some will say, “It’s not my job to raise your child.” and “It’s not my responsibility to make people aware of their tendencies.”

You’re right. It’s also not your responsibility to bully people into changing themselves to fit your dialogue. Simply put, you’re responsible for yourself alone. But you have no right to complain on someone's behavior, art or experiences if you are not willing to be patient with correcting said behavior in yourself first.

Who knows, maybe I’m in the wrong here for not knowing the full story. All I’m saying is, if you see someone being a bully, being mean or even being a hypocrite, call them out in the sweetest way possible. Let them know we are facilitating a safe space for people who need a community rather than a closed off club.

Be the change you want to see in this world.

Learn, grow and prosper.

I wish you all well and genuinely hope we can all expand our perspectives to fully understand each other in healthier and more communicative based ways. We deserve that sort of kindness from each other.

#steven #stevenuniverse #amethyst #pearl #garnet #malachite #cartoonshow #art #love #patience #understanding #herecomesathought #foodforthought

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airis-paris14 · 3 years

Text

Dress Up 7

Summary: She’s not his fiancée, but no one else needs to know...

1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8

“Your father does not sound convinced that you are doing something legal here during your time away from home,” T’Challa smiled as he carried Sirobie along the grassy hill. “He will never be fully convinced. I’m far away from home and I may have been a little conniving when I was younger.”

T’Challa paused to hitch her higher on his back. “How conniving is a little?” The king laughed as Sirobie buried her face in his neck. “Let’s not talk about it,” she groaned laughter shaking her chest. “I think they like you though,” Sirobie broke the silence after their laughter calmed down. “You think so?” The king helped her slide off his back. “Yeah, especially Soleil, she wants to come see your big house now,” Sirobie laughed. The student helped the king to unfold and spread the long blanket his mother had forced them to bring along after kicking them out of the palace.

Queen Ramonda had pushed T’Challa out of a special meeting he’d been in all day with her, Shuri, and Okoye and demanded that he seek out Sirobie's company. When the king had found her speaking with her family, he jumped into the conversation and tried to reassure her father that he and his family only had the purest of intentions with his daughter.

Well, they weren’t as pure as they could be on his end, but they were the feelings any man has for the woman he loves. Did T'challa love Sirobie? He watched as the student settled on the grass and bent over to begin unpacking the basket they’d packed before heading out. As he watched her movements he knew that he was definitely head over heels in love with her, it’d only been three months, but she felt like his soulmate. Sirobie was everything he didn’t know he was looking for and it was perfect. They complimented each other and he wanted to stand at the edge of this cliff and shout it to the world, but he was spoken for. In a week, she’d be leaving him and they would most likely never cross paths again.

Her warm hand on his face startled him out of his thoughts, “Are you alright T’Challa?” The king nodded and sighed. “Sirobie,” he gently grabbed her hands, “I want to tell you something, but I don’t want to scare you.” He pulled the graduating senior into his lap. “You can tell me anything, I am not leaving you to go anywhere willingly,” She encouraged. He moved his hands to her waist, “I’m in love with you Sirobie. I know its only been a little over a month, but I know it deep down in my soul. You are my soulmate and it is killing me that I have to let you go.”

Tears pricked Sirobie’s eyes and she smiled, “ You know it is killing me to leave too. I honestly don’t know if I am in love, but I do know that if this isn’t love, I don’t want love.” She caressed his beard and leaned in to kiss him. The kiss heated up and sirobie found her back against the soft blanket beneath them. She moaned and widened her legs so that T’Challa could move closer to her in between them. She felt him against her thigh and whimpered as he pressed himself into her but pulled back. Sirobie opened her eyes that she hadn’t realized slipped closed, “What, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to do this out here,” The king stood and pulled her up with him, he began pulling her down the hill and Sirobie laughed almost tripping over herself. “T’Challa slow down! What about the basket?”

“We will send someone out for it. I have some very important business to attend to right now,” The king scooped her up bridal style and hustled her down the hill. Their laughter rang out as they made a way to the palace.

“My queen, princess, where is T’Challa?” Okoye walked into the room and paused, noticing the missing king.

Ramonda and Shuri looked up from the contract they had been studying for the past two weeks.”He is out on a picnic with Sirobie, why what is wrong?”

“We have a lead. We believe the youngest Habredis boy acted of his own accord” the general moved further into the room. “He tried to kill T’Challa?” Shuri moved around the desk to face the general.”With T’Challa out of the way-”

“He could be king by marrying Shuri. Or so he assumed,” Ramonda finished. “Which is a much more viable position than having his sister be queen or marrying the princess and only bringing her home to his country.” Okoye theorized.

“Not like I’d wanna go anyway,” Shuri scoffed. “Shuri, call your brother,” Ramonda glanced out of the window before looking back at the other women,” I’d say that attempted assassination is a breech of contract, wouldn’t you general?”

Sirobie swiped at the air as T’Challa pressed kisses all over her face. “Leave me alone,” she moaned, pulling the soft sheets closer around her naked body. “My mother is calling me for an emergency meeting, but I’ll be back later. Put on something nice, I wanna go out to dinner then finish what we started,” he smirked and pressed a kiss to her lips. Sirobie nodded sleepily, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” the king pushed her braids out of her face and kissed her forehead.

“Well, I see you got further than I ever did.” Sirobie groaned as a voice invaded her sleep. She fluttered her eyes open and jumped as Kamyra appeared in her vision. She clutched the sheets to her chest. “You know, if I didn’t hate kids so much, I’d get him to knock me up too, then maybe my duties would be fulfilled and I could leave this hell hole.”

“It is not that bad,” Sirobie interjected. “If that’s how you feel,” Kamyra shrugged and hopped off of the end of the bed. She moved to a suitcase in the corner and began unpacking. “I’m glad you had your fun, but I’m sure you know what comes next,” the woman held out her hand with Sirobie’s student ID in it.

Sirobie slowly reaches for the card, tears flooding her eyes. “Please stop crying. All you had to do was pretend to be me. No one told you to go and get your feelings involved,” Kamyra pushed her to move faster out of the bed, holding the sheets closed behind Sirobie walking her into the hall and down to her guest room. “Get showered and get dressed. Somebody already packed up your student apartment and your things will be waiting for you on the plane.”

Sirobie could do nothing more than nod as the true princess slammed the room door shut. The artist let the tears run down her face faster and dropped the bed sheets she’d been dragging. She took a quick shower and came out to find Eshe, Lesedi, and Kasigo waiting for her with bags packed. “We saw lady Kamyra and came to say goodbye and help you pack,” Eshe offered a sad smile while the other two wiped tears.

The other ladies in waiting nodded, “all of your shoes, jewelry, skin care, dresses, clothes, everything we packed up for you. It’s a lot, but it’s all yours and maybe you’ll be able to remember us by it.” Lesedi smiled and wrung her hands together. “I also called my cousin that’s a war dog in America. His friend in DC is gonna be there to pick you up and make sure you get all of your things back to your dorm.”

Sirobie couldn’t help herself as she pulled all the women into a hug. From the time she first set foot in the palace they’d been her backbone. From favors to just gossiping friends, they’d made her months here a lot less scary and she’d truly owe them for that. Kasigo was the first to step back from the hug. Her eyes were red and her hands were continuously dabbing away tears, “and when you win a Grammy I expect an invitation to come to the states to see you.” The women broke out into laughter and tears.

“Of course, I promise,” Sirobie sniffled. Eshe walked over to the door and grabbed a large leather portfolio bag, “here are all of your paintings and sketches. I thought you might like to carry these personally.”

Sirobie nodded and all of the women frowned. “Well we better get you on a plane before Lady Kamyra has our heads for holding you up,” Kasigo sighed. “I wrote down the instructions on how to write to us and slipped them in your tote, so you can stay in contact. The Zula’s at the post office agreed to help smuggle your letters into the palace.”

Sirobie beamed, “thank you guys for everything. I’ll write as soon as I get back in my dorm and send some pictures.”

“Especially your graduation photos.” Lesedi demanded before she and Kasigo headed out of the room with two bags each. “Eshe,” Sirobie called before her lady in waiting could leave the room, “I painted this as a gift for T’Challa,” she pointed to the canvas setting covered by a cloth in the corner, “I was supposed to have it framed this afternoon. Would you mind having it framed for me and then giving it to him since I won’t be able to?”

“It would be my pleasure,” Eshe reassured her.

Kamyra was standing at the jet pad by herself. Sirobie looked around wondering where the Queen, Shuri, and T’Challa were. “They are not coming and they won’t know you are gone until I walk in and announce I am home.” Kamyra started, “Now I am grateful for the opportunity you provided me to experience college, but I am not sorry that you cannot stay. No one told you to go and fall in love or make close bonds. They are not your family. You knew this was going to end at some point. You got to be rich for two months, I got to be a student. We both got what we wanted. But you cannot have T’Challa.”

“Mother,” T’Challa rushes into the room. “What is going on?”

“Well you took your sweet time getting here,” Shuri snickered, noticing her brother's beaming smile.

“I was spending some quality time with Sirobie and I was not the most excited in the world to leave her-“

“And you won’t have to,”Ramonda interrupted, “We can break the contract.” T’Challa’s eyes widened, “you are serious?”

“Yes genius!” Shuri grinned. The king pulled his mother and sister into a hug, “I have to go tell Sirobie. If she wants to stay. We have so much to plan! She already took a job in LA. Will we do long distance? What if she wants to work here-“

“First, we have to annul the contract and that is going to be a little tricky,” the queen interrupted his rambling. “What do you mean, what is the loophole?”

“Kamyra’s brother tried to kill you.”

T’Challa paused and stared at his little sister. Ramonda stepped in, “that gives us ample cause to terminate the agreement. But Kamyra was not in on the plan which complicates things. We know how her family is and it would be unfair to put her in danger by not going about this in the wrong way.”

“Which means I can’t tell her now,” T’Challa frowned. “Exactly, we have to pretend that everything is fine. If Sirobie knows she could become a target as well and we cannot protect her from them in the US without raising suspicions and causing a whole lot of US and Wakandan relations political problems.”

T’Challa nodded and sighed, “So we stick to the original plan, move up the wedding and once all the elders are assembled move for annulment.”

“It is for the best,” Ramonda reassured her son and pulled him into a hug. “I know mama, I just hope Sirobie can hold on that long.

Sirobie watched the land disappear behind her from the large jet window and sank lower into her seat. She reached up and unclasped the vibranium necklace around her neck. Tears stung her eyes as she slid off her engagement ring and pulled it onto the chain. She replaced the necklace around her neck and tucked it into her shirt, ready to bury everything in her memories. The Howard student leaned against the wall and let the ship, and tears, lull her to sleep.

“None of you ever saw this. That girl left of her own accord,” Kamyra warned all of the attending servants, kings guard members, and Dora Milaje before waking back inside. The runaway stalked into T’Challa’s bedroom and noticed a sketch of him and Sirobie cuddled together on a couch. Blood boiling she crushed the paper in her hands and rushed out on the balcony where she saw a candlelit dinner set up. “Sorry loverboy, but neither of us gets to have a happy ending.” Kamyra hangs the water color Sirobie painted of her, across from T’Challa’s bed and grabs the dress she sees hanging in the closet with Sirobie’s name on it.

“Lady Sirobie,” the pilot called as the student headed away from the ship. Sirobie looked on with surprise as the woman abandoned the craft to come hug her. “You will truly be missed by everyone in the palace. Please keep in touch through Kasigo, Lesedi, and Eshe.”

The pilot stepped back and Sirobie smiled. “I will. Thank you again for everything.”

The warrior crossed her arms before stepping back onto the ship. After loading her four suitcases into Lesedi’s friend’s truck, he helped her lug everything up to her apartment door before he took off to get to work. She reached for her keys before someone screamed, “Oh my god, you’re back!”

Sirobie saw her best friend hurrying down the hall. “At least I think it’s you, you have your own key and a suitcase-”

“Kamyra was here?” Sirobie interrupted, the blood in her veins heating up. “Yeah! She just showed up trying to pretend to be you. Once she realized she could fool me she said that y’all had decided to trade places. Not that I minded, but I would have liked a heads up! I had no idea who shawty was. Walking up here like she pay rent,” the other student huffed, grabbing two of the suitcases and helping her friend bring them in.

“It wasn’t planned. She stole my identity and left me in Wakanda.”

“There was a criminal living in our house?! Why didn’t you call?”

Sirobie pushed her bags into her room and mentally decided to wash her sheets. Not that she thought that Kamrya was dirty or disrespectful, but the thought of touching anywhere she’d been was enough to set her off. “I just learned how to call my own family a few days ago. And I didn’t know she was here. How’d she even get my address?”

“Who knows,” the other roommate plopped on the bed as Sirobie surveyed her room. Everything was in place except for a package on her desk. “They delivered your cap and gown this morning,” Sirobie grabbed scissors and pried the box open as her friend explained. “I can’t believe we’re graduating,” the artist sighed.

“I know, but I am so glad you're back. I really missed you Ro.”

Sirobie placed the mortar board and gown back in the box. “I missed you too Niyah,” she grinned and tackled her roommate in a hug. Laughter filled the air as Daniyah pushed her longtime friend off of her. “Did you ever decide where you are going to med school?” Sirobie asked. She stood and began unpacking her new pieces. “Well I got a letter in the mail yesterday from Southern California, and I got the Geffmen!”

“Are you serious!” Sirobie screamed and jumped with her friend, “You’re going to Med School for free!”

“I know! And what about you, any job offers?”

Sirobie frowned, thinking back to the conversation she’d had with T’Challa, “I took a job as a production assistant on Insecure,” she plopped on to her bed, fishing the sketch of her and T’Challa out of her bag.

“That’s great! We love that show!”

“I know-”

“Wait what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I was just remembering when I told someone else about that job offer.”

“One of your friends in Wakanda? They weren’t happy about it?”

“No, he was ecstatic, he pushed me to accept it,” Sirobie smiled wanly. “He?!” DaNiyah dropped onto the bed. “Girl, you are holding out on me! What happened in Wakanda?”

Sirobie untucked her necklace from her shirt and twiddled the ring between her fingers, a habit she’d picked up when it was on her finger, and it had seemed to carry over to it on the necklace. DaNiyah’s eyes widened when she saw the huge diamond. “It’s a long story.”

“Girl, I have nothing but time. So start talking.”

T’Challa’s knee bounces as he waits for Sirobie to come out of the bathroom. He took a sip of the wine from his glass to calm his nerves. His selfish side wanted to tell Sirobie tonight that he’d found a loophole. That she didn’t have to leave right away, but he knew that he couldn’t. One, she would have to leave anyway. He would not keep her from finishing her last months of college. He figured she had friends and places that she’d miss once walking across that stage. She loved her school and he heard it in her voice every time she talked to him about it. Second, if he wanted there to be a chance for them to work, he would have to handle the Kamyra situation with the utmost caution. He did not want anyone suspecting or accusing Sirobie of anything. If the Habredis were bold enough to attempt an assassinaation in his own country, there was no telling how far they would go to get revenge if they realized Sirobie was the woman he chose to spend the rest of his life with.

T’Challa paused once his rushing thoughts caught up with him. Spend the rest of his life with Sirobie? Sure, he’d ‘proposed’ but the thought itself was new. It did not scare him or feel weird to even imagine. It felt perfect. It set off butterflies in his stomach but he could not imagine life happening in any other way. His memories wandered back to the orphanage when Sirobie cradled the newborn baby. She looked so beautiful and at ease. He wanted her to hold a child they created together like that. With love pouring out of her breathtaking brown eyes. He now knew why the scenario felt right in that moment. His heart had known that he would fall in love with every facet of her within the short time she would be in his life. Now that she was leaving, he saw a large Sirobie hole being left in her wake and he could not let it go unfilled.

The sound of someone clearing their throat startled him out of his thoughts. The king shot up, but his smile fell as quickly as it was raised. “Kamyra,” the king spit.

The princess poked her lip out in an exaggerated pout, “You did not miss me my love?”

“Where is Sirobie,” he grit. Kamyra waved his concerns off. “She’s fine,” the runaway grabbed her glass of wine off of the table and took a sip, “probably in her apartment unpacking. When we met up this morning, she insisted on leaving without saying goodbye. I tried to tell her to at least say goodbye but-”

“Why don’t I believe you,” the king sneered. “Because T’Challa,” Kamyra took a sip and settled on one of the chairs, “You want desperately to believe that we can find love, end this contract and be happy, but it’s time that we both get real.”

“And what would that look like Kamyra?”

“Realizing that we’re both just pawns in an elaborate game. We’re both stuck! Might as well accept fate and be miserable together,” she raised her glass in a mock toast, waiting for T’Challa to join.

“Says the woman who threw a temper tantrum then ran away for three months,” the king took his glass to the head before placing the empty cup on the table and strolling out of the room.

Taglist: @sarahboseman @waitingonafriend-blog @thiccdaddy-mbaku @sarcastic-sunshines @ororowrites @derangedcupcake @mzbritt @leahnicole1219 @dramaqueeenamby @marvelheaux @skysynclair19 @halfrican-heat @kaciidubs @queertrex @kumkaniudaku @purple-apricots @autumn242 @thedelightfulone @90sinspiredgirl @royallyprincesslilly @wikiwakanda @chaneajoyyy @sisterwifeudaku @sarahboseman @tchoking @almostpurelysmut

#tchalla fanfiction #tchalla #tchalla imagine #tchalla x reader #blackpantherimagines #tchalla x black! reader #tchalla x oc #tchalla x black!oc #apbpfics #tchalla x you #dressupfic #tchalla black panther #tchalla fanfic

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teenyfish · 4 years

Text

Marine Biology Story of the Day #13: The Collection

Hey everybody, long time no see—we’ve been dealing with hurricanes and vacations and I’ve been extremely worn down from work so I have not posted anything in the last two weeks.

But, since it’s early spooky season and I’ve finally had a chance to sit down, we are going to do a special post today and go over my collection.

My collection of “dead things”, as my husband likes to describe it.

I like to describe it as my natural history collection. It’s a collection I’ve been curating since I got go college, and I have either collected and cleaned them myself, or received them as gifts from others who share my strange hobby. I have not personally killed any of these animals, however I’m sure some were road kill or were killed by barotrauma (if they were fish). Also, these are not all from dead animals, I have a large collection of molts and shells as well. For me, these are found objects, and I am giving them life again in my house. If you are uncomfortable with the idea of animal bone collection and processing, I suggest you stop here.

If you have a morbid curiosity like I do, welcome.

Lets start with the bones. On the first row we have what I think is a squirrel skull that I found on a beach (I’m not 100% sure because I don’t have any teeth from it) and a cormorant skull I found completely bleached and cleaned on a dock. On the second row we have a pair of deer antlers I spent $2 on at an antique fair, we have an otter that I cleaned for my university that I was allowed to keep, we have rocky the raccoon, also from my university, a cat skull I found on a washed up beach (there were no tags attached, no tissue left, it could have been a pet or a stray, but considering we were in the middle of nowhere, there was no way to tell), and a Atlantic sharpnose shark jaw I cleaned while on a NOAA trip. The back row we have a blacktip reef shark jaw from the same trip, and a red drum skull collected from a beach.

Now, rocky is one of my favorites—we have a long relationship. When I was in college, I took a mammalogy class and one of our assignments was to go find a dead animal and bring it in, dissect it, and clean it. Like for a grade. Our professor had tenure and was pretty eccentric, so he got away with it much to the chagrin of the president. I found rocky on the side of a highway, while I was driving home to my parents’ house for fall break, and he looked pretty freshly dead, so I thought that would be the best way to go. It didn’t stop him from stinking up my car though, and my mom was not pleased that I stuffed him in the basement freezer. He made it back to school in a Styrofoam cooler, and I got an A on that assignment, and then we put all of our skulls in the “beetle tank” so that they could finish cleaning the skulls for us. I forgot about it. Fast forward to two years later, I was working for the graduate department while getting my graduate degree, and we were asked to clean out the “bone room” and process the skulls, and I found him, a tag with my name on it attached. He came home to live me ever since.

Next we have the molts, all of which, with the exception of the sea urchin, all came from live animals that continued on living after they had shed their shells. On the bottom left we have my horseshoe crab molts, the larger one was collected on a fisheries survey I was on, the little one I found at a hotel beach in Florida. Just above the horseshoe crabs, we have an urchin that I found in Maine—this one was likely smashed against the rocks by a seagull, because when an urchin dies, it usually doesn’t leave behind it’s spines. Next to it is the large, American Lobster, which came from the lobster at the aquarium I used to work at!! And then, in the bottom right is a spiny lobster molt. Spiny lobsters come from the south eastern united states, but our aquarium collected a spiny lobster in North Carolina. She was one of my favorite animals I worked with in the aquarium.

Then we have the full bodied organisms that were preserved fully. We have European hornets pinned in the bottom block, which are from a small project I worked on as an undergrad. These are invasive to the states. The large blue jar contains a baby sandbar shark. My friend (who is also a biology nerd) found this one for me at a thrift store, so WHO KNOWS how it got there originally—but I gave her a new home none the less. The last three small jars are fish and invertebrates that were collected on my trip studying marine plastics in the Pacific. In one is a Velula velula, or a by-the-wind sailor, which is a small siphonophore (similar to a jelly fish, or like a small man-o-war) that “sails” on the surface of the water with it’s little biological sail! The next one is a myctophid, which I’ve covered in previous posts, but it’s a small, very numerous deep sea fish with bioluminescent photophores on it’s belly. The last is a dragonfish or a viperfish, which is another deep see fish similar to an angler fish, but it’s bioluminescent lure is on it’s chin.

I’ve been putting this collection together for almost 10 years now, and they all have their little spots on my shelves at my home. I just find these pieces of biology so beautiful, and I want to give these animals a second life. I’m not just into dead animals, I have a 55 gallon saltwater tank and a sweet baby puppy as well, but I just love natural specimens--it is just so cool to be able to reach up on your book shelf and be able to study anatomy from the real thing.

Now, there are a myriad of methods required for preserving biological samples, many of which you can do at home with your own materials. Cleaning a skull successfully also depends on the condition that the remains are found in. I rarely do a skull that has a lot of tissue still on it, it’s a lot of work. I do stress though, unless you want to get into some really nasty stuff, it is not for the faint of heart (or people who are easily nauseated). If you want any information on how to clean skulls, both from mammals and from fish, please feel free to contact me in the notes or in the asks.

That being said, as a reminder, there are some legal issues regarding many species. Marine Mammals and endangered species are a no go, even if you find the animal already dead. Make sure to be aware of that when you go out in the field looking for bones. It is also is typically illegal to collect things from state and national parks in the U.S., and I don’t have all the rules for other countries, so just educate yourself before you head out.

As always, if you have any questions or comments PLEASE do not be afraid to ask!

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dodgergilmore · 4 years

Note

YAS give me more jess/rory analysis PLEASE ❤

I ended up expanding on my season 3 thoughts in another post, so I’ll just ramble on about something different if we’re all good with that!

Let’s discuss how “You could do more.” is, in some ways, the thesis of the whole Rory and Jess dynamic.

When Rory is not amused by his magic trick during one of their very first interactions (what a sentence lmao), it shows that she isn’t going to put up with the facade he puts on in Stars Hollow. She doesn’t shy away from speaking her mind and pushes him to take responsibility for his actions:

“All [Luke] does is stick up for you, and all you do is make his life harder. I guess that's what you have to do when you're trying to be Holden Caulfield, but I think it stinks. (...) Funny, I never pegged you as clueless, my mistake.”

Again, Rory points out the act Jess puts on but this also shows how she isn’t going to just passively allow him to act in such ways because she doesn’t see him as the nuisance/lost cause that much of the town sees him as. Instead, she holds him to a higher standard because she knows he isn’t clueless.

After a well-intentioned suggestion on Rory’s part, we see her at odds with the expectations placed on her by the town as she becomes “the poster girl for censorship” and she can openly discuss this with Jess as someone who would understand where she’s coming from, because he is one person who is not charmed by Stars Hollow’s small town antics. Her future isn’t bound to this place, so when Jess questions what Rory and Dean talk about, saying that ‘he doesn’t seem like her kind of guy’ it adds another layer to that conversation; let’s be real, Jess is not coming from a place of entirely pure intentions but after season 1, Dean is basically the town’s golden boy (despite previously being the new kid in town) and thus is the embodiment of one of the two worlds Rory is caught between throughout the series: Stars Hollow. But right from the Pilot, we know that Rory is set to “do more” than Stars Hollow. That whole sidestory in 2x12 and its relation to Rory could be an analysis of its own, which I don’t think I am equipped to offer at this time...

By 2x13, Rory is pushing against and growing frustrated with Lorelai’s view of Jess. Rory recognises that Jess should not need a tutor, after trying to explain his margin-writing to Lorelai in the previous episode, and it’s clear that Rory believes in Jess in a way that he himself does not at this point. He meets her words of encouragement and “you could do more” with cynicism but Rory remains unconvinced. Schooling should not be a measure of success – and by season 6 it ends up being beside the point anyway – but it is interesting that Jess’ reasoning for not going to college has nothing to do with himself and everything to do with what others have to say about him.

And why aren’t you going to college? (...)

Ask my mother, she could give you a couple reasons. Oh, and I’m sure Principal Mertin can chime in with a few good ones. In fact, ask your mother. She doesn’t know me all that well but I’m sure she could improvise a few things.

Do not give me that whole ‘I’m so misunderstood, Kurt Cobainy’ thing. You are way stronger than that and I don’t even wanna hear it.

That whole conversation in the car really is The Goods. The paths they have planned for themselves could not be more different but still, they offer each other the same unwavering support and encouragement.

I wont go into detail because I think I’ve already addressed this in my previous posts today but “you could do more” comes into play even during their relationship in that Jess, as we know, does not generate the most positive views from the people of Stars Hollow, perhaps believing that Rory could do more, so to speak, than him. If nothing else, the town definitely thinks so.

Jess shows support for Rory’s Harvard-and then-Yale dreams, which is one of many reasons his reappearance in 6x08 works so well. He assumes she graduated early before considering she wasn’t in school; when Rory keeps commenting on how her circumstances are “all temporary” Jess is visibly... I don’t know that I’d say concerned at this point but he is definitely taken aback.

I know it's good. Jess, you've got such a great brain. I knew that if you could just sit down and stop shaking it around, you could do something like this. I knew it. I knew it.

I know you did. (...) So, I just basically wanted to show you that. Uh, tell you... tell you that I couldn't have done it without you.

Obviously Jess is confirming her “you could do more” sentiments when he explicitly credits the role she played in helping him find success for himself. In doing so, this reassures Rory that she was right about something after feeling the defeat of Mitchum’s words for however many months by this point, and also reminds her of the ambitions she once had for herself.

Neither of them do or say these sort things for “I want to be with you” reasons but for “I want good things for you” reasons. It doesn’t come from a romantic place – they sincerely want the other to succeed, even if that means being apart. Even after everything that happened, Rory is saying “I hope you're good. I want you to be good.” in that 3x22 phone call, and then this in 6x08:

You know that section toward the front, the staff recommendations? I'm gonna grab a copy of your book and put it in that section, and then I'm going to write my own little recommendation on a card and attach it so people see it and buy it.

Please, that’s just cute :(

Of course it ends up ending in absolute MESS but she goes all the way to Philadelphia to see his open house. Imagine if she hadn’t checked the mail that day lmao

I just got the flier, and I don't know. I just wanted to see your place, but then this...

In AYITL, Jess hears Rory out as she divulges the state her life is in then reassures her that she’s in a rut that she is fully capable of getting out of. “Where is this coming from? What inspired you?” indeed. The implications, y’know??

Now I’m going to circle back to what I said about Dean representing Stars Hollow for a moment here. Logan very overtly represents the world of wealth and like I said, Rory is between these two worlds. Rory is a balance of the world of her grandparents and her mother; what’s interesting about Jess is that he doesn’t belong to either world, really. He can exist in the world of Stars Hollow because of his familial connections and history there and that brings us some little moments that are not at all deep, but I absolutely love anyway:

Can't wait to hear how you bagged the job.

It was the usual thing; I submitted my resume, plus samples of my work, I was thoroughly vetted, there were several lengthy interviews, plus complex negotiations over salary, benefits, parking–

You asked Taylor.

Pretty much.

And then when he asks Rory over the phone to fill him in on the ‘showbiz spat’ in 3x14. Stars Hollow has an important role in Rory’s life, and Jess is able to understand that world in a way that Logan simply can’t – if I recall, he is actually quite endeared by the town when he makes his first official visit there in season 7.

Season 5 makes Dean’s place in Rory’s life very clear, first with “What am I doing here, Rory? I don't belong here. Not anymore.” in 5x08 and then in 5x18, when Dean is used as a direct parallel to Luke:

They want more than this. Don’t you see that? And all you are is this. (...) This town, it’s all you are, and it’s not enough. She’s going to get bored, and you can’t take her anywhere. You’re here forever.

It’s... kind of an odd comparison to make in that Lorelai is quite happy with her Stars Hollow life and hasn’t indicated that she wants “more” than this. For Rory, though, it does reiterate that she wants more than Stars Hollow can offer her. I’ve discussed this before but the world of wealth and Logan, while initially intriguing to Rory, loses its shine during season 6 and she ultimately rejects it in that she doesn’t want to be bound by it. It offers temporary thrills and escapism, but she ends up having to enter the real world.

In Summer, Rory talks about looking at places in Queens so that might be the best, most recent indicator of where Rory wants to be in terms of geography. Just like Rory, Jess isn’t bound to any particular world – bouncing around from place-to-place in the original series, not unlike Rory in the revival – and together... they can do more. And that is that on soulmate-ism!

All in all, they hold each other to high standards not because they idealise one another or put each other on pedestals but because they genuinely believe in each other’s capabilities. They actively push each other to do more and important to note is that they hear each other in these moments; maybe not always immediately but they get there eventually because by the end, it’s clear they have a certain respect and fondness for each other. I like that they don’t passively roll along with whatever the other chooses to do, which may be the very reason some people don’t like them. As much as their dynamic evolves with time, there are just some things that remain a constant...

#ask #somekindofhelicoptervalentine #literati #~you could do more #barely even mention them but i'll tag anyway:#anti dean #anti logan

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dear-wormwoods · 4 years

Note

may I ask for a style fanfic rec list? 🥺🥺🥺

I have a couple of requests for this and I’ve been thinking about how to respond, because to be honest, I very rarely read fic these days. And by ‘these days’ I mean like, since 2014. I always have things I intend to read, but then time goes by and I don’t get around to it. So nothing I’m going to rec is new and you’ve probably already read them fkjds.

Anyway, sorry to be predictable by just being like “read Hollycomb’s fics” but...

The Scenic Route - 116k words, should be rated E for the final two chapters (I literally have no idea why it’s rated T on AO3, it was definitely M when I first read it on ff.net years ago)

Summary: The boys embark on a six day road trip to California before separating for college. Cartman is a pain in the ass, Kenny has no future, Butters is in crisis, and Kyle doesn't know how he'll say goodbye to Stan.

Why you should read it: The yearning. This fic is written entirely in Kyle’s POV, and Holly does such a brilliant job of getting into his head and really capturing that feeling of already mourning a friendship/relationship before it’s even over and kind of intentionally setting the bridge on fire to make what is (seemingly) inevitable hurry along, as if that will make it hurt less (it doesn’t). The first six chapters, the actual road trip portion of the fic (where the T rating actually does apply), are where it is at its strongest, and Kyle’s gradual descent into panicky, angry desperation is painfully real. I can’t stress enough how in character everyone is, each retaining recognizable mannerisms and dynamics from canon while still clearly being grown people entering adulthood. There’s a reason this fic is THE Style fic.

Leave the Pieces - 251k words, rated E (though that rating only represents a small portion of such a long fic)

Summary: Stan and Kyle meet as strangers in their mid-twenties, shocked to encounter someone else who can't remember the first ten years of his life. They form an instant connection, but only one person in South Park remembers them, and Kenny can't explain why they disappeared or why the rest of the town forgot them.

Why you should read it: It’s a lengthy epic with supernatural elements, a complicated plot that fits right into the show’s universe, and the kind of love that quite literally transcends time, space, and memory. I can’t explain it much further without giving away the plot, but this behemoth is gut wrenching and powerful. It is equal parts a story about Stan and Kyle finding each other as adults and falling in love despite not remembering who they are, or each other, and a deep exploration into Kenny’s character and his curse. Kenny is really the MVP of the story, despite it initially seeming like “just” a Style fic, and his relationship with Wendy is written beautifully and convincingly. One caveat, though: some parts of this fic... I’m not a fan of. I greatly dislike Cartman/Butters just as a concept, and there were times, particularly in the first half of the fic, where I almost quit reading because of their scenes. I also feel like this fic fell victim to fandom’s earlier tendency to mischaracterize Craig as borderline sociopathic (but in contrast, he’s absolutely perfect in Holly’s oneshot Other People’s Tupperware). However, I��m such a sucker for supernatural memory loss not being able to sever soul connections, and Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Wendy’s respective journeys more than make up for my reluctance to stomach Cartman/Butters or other comparatively minor issues. And honestly, everything does fall into place as the plot unfolds, so all I can say is... if you hit certain scenes and think ‘wtf IS this??’, just stick it out, the payoff is worth it, especially if you’re looking for high quality Kenny content.

Amalgamation - 78k words, rated T (but should be rated M imo, because there are sex scenes, though they aren’t very explicit, just intimate)

Summary: In 1862, Kyle's family is forced to move from New York to a tiny mining settlement at the foot of Pike's Peak in Colorado. Kyle is sixteen years old and miserable until he meets Stan, a fellow transplant who has been in town for three years. Their feelings for each other are shadowed by the town's haunted history, and for Kyle the local legends begin to feel more like real nightmares.

Why you should read it: I know ‘1860′s gold mining settlement AU’ doesn’t sound very fascinating, but it is. This is another one that’s written in Kyle’s POV and again Holly does a wonderful job of expressing his emotional turmoil, the guilt and shame he feels, his self-righteousness, and the depth of his love for Stan. Everyone is as they would be if the clock was turned back 150 years, made different by the time period and the demands of their circumstances but still obviously recognizable. The old-timey atmosphere and world-building are so seamless and never feels unrelatable. There are also supernatural/ghost/mystery themes in this one and the fear is palpable.

From the Queen of England to the Hounds of Hell - 170k words, rated E, includes major character death (aside from Kenny)

Summary: Ten years after the execution of Terrance and Phillip, the war with Canada has not ended. Stan and most of Kyle's friends are planning to join the army after high school graduation, bound to be drafted anyway. Kyle doesn't believe in the war, but he's not willing to let Stan go without him.

Why you should read it: This is.... a perfect fic, and I don’t say that lightly. It is quite possibly the ONLY perfect fic I have ever read, in any fandom. I can’t actually describe all the ways in which it’s perfect without giving the plot details away, but, God, if you commit to reading just one of the long-ass fics I’m reccing on this list, make it this one. Please. It honestly makes me mad that this one never got the same attention as like, The Scenic Route, or ‘Night School’ did, because it so deserves to be up there. Only Holly could take the concept of the fucking movie and turn it into a completely devastating, bittersweet, epic romance. There is no caveat here, no ‘I loved it except for this and this’, just thorough, soul-crushing perfection. Just... Kyle. God, Kyle. I can’t elaborate, my heart isn’t up to the task. This fic will haunt me for the rest of my life.

The Ascent of Stan - 32k words, rated E, though it is like 95% domestic fluff

Summary: Stan sells his small pest control company and Kyle thinks they should use some of the money to go to Hawaii, where he proceeds to grill Stan about the mid-life crisis that Stan claims he's not having while their kids frolic nearby.

Why you should read it: This one is everything a domestic fic should be. It basically just chronicles the events of a week-long vacation to Hawaii that nearly-40 Stan and Kyle take with their two kids. This one is written fully in Stan’s POV and it works so well... he’s exactly the kind of dad that I imagine he would be, doing his best to provide for and protect his family’s little bubble and resolving to be better than his father while quietly fighting the lingering shadow of his alcoholism and cynicism. There’s no real conflict in this one, just 30,000 words of a very typical family vacation: not exactly blissful, irritating at times, but ultimately the foundation for perfect memories.

Never Change - 115k words, rated E

Summary: Thirteen years after his high school girlfriend's pregnancy upended his life, Stan is still in South Park, working with his partner Bebe as a local cop. They're in the process of investigating a series of possibly connected murders when FBI agent Kyle Broflovski returns to town and informs his old friend Stan that this is his investigation now.

Why you should read it: This is equal parts a murder mystery and a romance. It features exactly the kind of Stan/Kyle situation I hate to think about - a decade-long estrangement of their own making that comes to an abrupt end due to extenuating circumstances. It hurts because of how likely it is to happen that way, and it works especially well in this fic because of Stan’s reluctance to embrace his own bisexuality until he’s nearly 30 and Kyle’s tendency to put up walls to protect himself. Also, Bebe features prominently in this fic, which is always a huge bonus.

Bonus Oneshot Rec:

The Reformation of Fart Boy - 7k words, unrated but probably T, just barely

Summary: Five times South Park has brought Kyle to the brink of sanity and Stan has brought him back.

Why you should read it: I love thinking about the ways in which canon-typical nonsense continues to impact the characters in the long term on a serious psychological level. Kyle has suffered a lot in canon and it’s obvious even in the show that it is gradually changing him and wearing him down, so I really love this fic for focusing on his responses to some of the more traumatic moments, as seen through Stan’s eyes.

I feel sort of guilty only reccing one author for right now, because there are other fics out there that I liked and am planning on revisiting, but this post is long enough as it is. Chances are you’ve already read some or all of these, but they’re my favorites. I reread all of them while making this list, and they still hit me hard after all these years.

#asks #south park #sp style #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #fic recs

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wellhellsbelles · 4 years

Text

to the rhythm of your wild heart, chapter 1

next chapter for y’all! it’s about as much as i have written so far, but i figured i’d post it since i had it. i’ll keep working on it, but for the meantime i have no idea when the next update will be. i’ll still work on it, though! as always, thanks to all who read my stuff :)

“And you’re sure you have your passport?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“And enough clothes for two weeks?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“And plenty of money on you? Because I wanted to make sure—”

“Dad!!!”

link for ao3 or read below

Riley

“And you’re sure you have your passport?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“And enough clothes for two weeks?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“And plenty of money on you? Because I wanted to make sure—”

“Dad!!!”

“You are being a little bit of a helicopter parent right now, honey,” Topanga interjected, patting her husband’s back sympathetically. “Riley will be just fine. Farkle will be there to watch her, won’t you Farkle?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Farkle replied, holding a hand over his heart and one up, palm-forward, “I promise.”

“And you’ll do the same thing for our Farkle, right?” Jennifer, Farkle’s mother, asked. Riley nodded her head.

“We’ll both watch out for each other, as always.”

“Good. Now, then, I believe some goodbyes are in order?” Farkle’s dad Stuart said.

Topanga and Cory pulled their daughter in for a hug at the same time Stuart and Jennifer did their son, squeezing tightly as they said their goodbyes.

“Now, you’ll call us if you need anything, right?” Topanga asked.

“Of course, Mom.”

“And you’ll listen to the chaperone?” Cory warned. Riley rolled her eyes, pointedly ignoring him.

“I love you both, and I’ll see you soon. Okay?”

“We love you, too.”

They all finished hugging and Riley and Farkle picked up their luggage, waving goodbye as they entered the airport. They scanned the crowded area for their group, only locating them once they found a sign sticking in the air that had “Abigail Adams High” scrawled neatly across it. Ms. Moretti, their Italian teacher for the last few years, was at the center, directing students sporadically.

“Alright, settle down! I need to start taking attendance to make sure everyone is here! When I call your name, please say ‘Here.’ Abelson, Karri?”

“Here.”

“Bradford, Missy?”

“Here.”

“Missy is here?!” Riley huffed under her breath to Farkle. Farkle just shrugged, unaffected. Missy Bradford had it out for Riley since middle school when Riley won over Lucas, and even though Riley and Lucas had broken up a long while ago, it had since been as if it was her God-given right to make Riley’s life miserable.

“It can’t get any worse, at least,” Farkle offered, but he couldn’t be more wrong.

“Gardener, Charlie?”

“Here!”

“Merde,” Riley cursed, her brow furrowed.

“I believe it’s ‘merda’ in Italian,” Farkle told her, and Riley shot him a look of disdain. “Sorry.”

“Whatever. It can’t be too bad. Besides, Charlie’s let up quite a bit since we’ve been in high school. Isn’t he dating Rebecca?” she asked quietly. Farkle shook his head.

“I heard they broke up before graduation.”

“Matthews, Riley?”

“Oh, come on!” Riley exclaimed loudly, much to Ms. Moretti’s chagrin. She looked at Riley pointedly before carrying on to Farkle and then the remainder of the list. Farkle patted her back.

“There, there. We’ll get through this. It’s only two weeks, after all.”

“I bet there’s a lot of terrible things in history that lasted ‘only two weeks’,” Riley grunted.

After Ms. Moretti finished the roster, they waited for the final two students to appear, then moved toward the bag check together. The wait for the bag check line was about fifteen minutes, and once they dropped off their big bags, they headed straight for the security check line. Riley wanted to groan from the amount of waiting they had to do for each part of the airport, but luckily Farkle was there to entertain her the whole time, and it was almost enough for her to forget about the process altogether.

The security check was quicker than Riley thought it was going to be, and as soon as she was through, she and Farkle left to find their gate. Riley had her ticket out, searching for gate ‘G’ as Farkle flipped through his Italian history book he’d brought along, reading aloud the “interesting” facts about Rome that Riley honestly couldn’t give a single flip about.

“Did you know that by the early fourth century, the Romans had built a network of roads 53,000 miles throughout the entire Roman empire? It’s where we get the phrase “All roads lead to Rome”. Pretty cool stuff, huh?”

“No offense, Farkle, but I do not care. Where is gate G even at?” she asked, frustrated. Farkle pointed ahead of them.

“Right there, Ms. Buzzkill,” he deadpanned. Riley narrowed her eyes at him and Farkle returned the favor, sticking his tongue out at her before guiding them towards their gate. They joined the rest of their classmates, sitting on the floor beside them since there were no open seats around.

“Guys, we’re going to the land where they invented spaghetti!” Yogi shouted as they joined them.

“And concrete!” Farkle added, but no one seemed to be as excited about that fact as he was.

“You tried,” Riley offered sympathetically when he noticeably deflated, “They’re intellectual heathens.” Farkle looked at her amusedly for a moment as the rest of the group carried on conversation, talking about all the food they’d encounter in Rome.

“Okay, there’s one thing I didn’t cover,” Farkle initiated conversation a second later.

“Shoot,” Riley said, preparing herself for another Farkle speech on ancient Rome. Instead, he said,

“Who gets the window seat?” Riley smirked.

“Oh, me for sure.”

“Uh, definitely not, Matthews. I am definitely going to have the window seat. In fact, I call “shotgun” on the window seat,” Farkle grinned, determined.

“Shotgun on a window seat? Does that even work?”

“It does now.”

Riley shook her head.

“I don’t think so, Minkus. Let’s settle this with a classic game of rock, paper, scissors, and the best two out of three wins. Sound fair?”

Farkle wasn’t as sold on the idea, but he knew it was the only way they were going to settle the affair. So rock, paper, scissors it was.

Too bad he was never good at games of chance.

“Ha. I win the window seat!” Riley celebrated. Farkle pouted.

“Fine. But I get it on the way back, you cheater.”

“I didn’t cheat! You’re just a sore loser,” Riley wrinkled her nose.

Right as Farkle was preparing his rebuttal, their gate was called for boarding. Their whole group lined up in their designated location and patiently waited until they began scanning the tickets, allowing the passengers to pass through. Riley and Farkle were at the tail end of their line, speeding off to catch up with their group as soon as they were given the okay-go.

As they climbed aboard the plane, a silent pact was made between the two of them to sit towards the back, not too close to the wing of the plane, but not too close to the last row of seats. Riley took the window seat as was her reward and Farkle settled next to her, buckling his seatbelt as she buckled hers. His leg bobbed up and down in excitement while the rest of the passengers boarded, and Riley echoed the sentiment in her rapidly beating heart.

They were going to Italy. Italy! This was their big trip before heading to college in August, and she couldn’t believe it was all happening so fast. It felt like it was only just yesterday that her, Farkle, Maya, Lucas, Zay, and Smackle were graduating, only yesterday that Maya and she made a pact to have the greatest summer ever, that they went on the road trip to end all road trips. Now it felt like she had blinked and everything was about to end.

It was sort of hard to come to terms with that.

Things were changing regardless of whether or not Riley liked it. She really never was one for change, but she was going to have to accept that she was growing up, and life wasn’t going to be the same as it was in middle school or high school. She was going to encounter new experiences, new changes in her life.

But for now?

She’d rather just focus on Italy and what it had to offer her.

“Italy, here we come,” Riley breathed as they sat back, ready to take off.

Farkle

Farkle woke up to the sun cascading on his face as it set, a heavy weight on his shoulder. He blinked groggily, yawning as he began to shift around in his seat, realizing once his eyes fully opened that the weight was Riley peacefully asleep against him. He tried to resist moving around more as to not disturb her, and he could hardly deny that it was cute and he didn’t want to disrupt that, either.

He’d keep his secrets to himself.

He cast his gaze out the window, trying best to see the view outside. Much to his surprise, land was in sight, and he could only conclude that they were close to their destination. Farkle moved his shoulder a touch, nudging Riley awake so she wouldn’t miss out on the breathtaking landscape below.

“Huh?” she muttered as she awoke, lifting her head at once. Farkle ignored the twang of hurt that rung in his chest from her absence, instead pointing out the window.

“Look,” he told her. She sat up even more in her seat, peering out beyond the glass.

“Wow,” she gasped, awestruck, “It’s beautiful.”

“I thought you might not want to miss it, especially since you cheated me out of the window seat,” Farkle jibed.

“Hey! Not true!” she exclaimed, ignoring Ms. Moretti’s pointed look from behind them. It was the morning after all, but Farkle knew Riley didn’t care. Besides, they were about to land soon, anyway.

Silence fell between them a moment as they continued to stare at the scenery below, and Riley was the first one to break it.

“Do you think two weeks is going to be long enough?” she asked, her voice quiet all of a sudden.

“Long enough for what?” he raised his brow at her.

“We’re going to be headed off for college so soon after. It just feels like everything is slipping by so quickly. I just want to be able to enjoy what little time we have left,” she explained with a sigh. Farkle reached over and grabbed her hand, squeezing it a couple of times.

“Riley Matthews, I make this promise to you: we will have the best time ever, and this week we will use every minute we are given for adventure. We’ll make it last as long as we can.” Riley smiled at him, squeezing his hand right back.

“Thank you, Farkle.”

“Alright everyone, if you could, please buckle up as we prepare for landing,” the person over the intercom announced. Farkle released his grip on Riley’s hand and did as told, with Riley following suit.

This was it. Italy.

Everyone boarded off the plane once they were allowed, heading for baggage claim to grab their belongings. Ms. Moretti was barely heard over the chatter, shouting at them to group up once they had their things, but then getting drowned out by the excitement of everyone being in Rome.

After they found their suitcases, they met with Ms. Moretti and she led them towards the entrance of the airport, a bus already waiting for them. They all loaded onto it, and once everyone was in place, it headed toward the inner part of the city where their hotel was. And as it took off away from the airport, their mouths all drooped open in awe as the sights around took their breath away, a whole different scenery from the plane.

“Ooooh, Farkle! Look, look!” Riley kept pointing sporadically. Farkle smirked, leaning over to look out the window with her. Although he didn’t express it aloud, he was just as excited to see everything around.

They definitely weren’t in New York anymore, that was for sure.

Everything was modern and yet not. The architecture was gorgeous, still upholding a sort of ancient Rome feel. The setting sun allowed the lights of the city to become more noticeable, sparkling vividly like the stars on the clearest of nights.

“I wish we could start exploring already!” Riley bounced jubilantly.

“Me too, but I’m glad we have the night to settle in. I don’t think I could keep myself awake,” Farkle yawned. Riley puckered her lips.

“Didn’t you sleep all the way over here in the plane?”

Farkle shrugged.

“What can I say? I like my rest. Besides, someone snored in my ear half of the time, so I didn’t really get much sleep.”

She stuck her tongue out at him, crossing her arms.

“Whatever.”

Their eyes remained trained outside the window for the rest of the ride, getting a taste of all that they’d be exploring for the next couple of weeks to come. The bus slowed down once they were outside their hotel and everyone grabbed their belongings, rolling suitcases inside the concrete arches adorned by the archway to the building.

Ms. Moretti went to the desk to retrieve the keys for the hotel rooms while everyone stood idly by. She then returned, keys in one arm and clipboard in the other, gesturing for everyone to gather around.

“Alright, alright! Quiet down! I’m going to give you your room assignments. When I call your name, come grab your keys and then stand next to your roommate!”

Farkle and Riley waited patiently as the names were announced, tapping their feet gently on the ground while listening out for their names. Riley was called first before Farkle, but not before her partner’s name was called.

“Missy Bradford,” Ms. Moretti said, “You’ll be rooming with Riley Matthews.”

Riley perked up immediately at that, casting a horrified look at Farkle. He felt bad for her as he watched her step up to get her key to her room and then shuffle off to the side with Missy, her face looking like she had met the end of the world.

Farkle had to admit, it was a little funny, though.

His amusement passed as soon as it arrived when Ms. Moretti called out his name in junction with Charlie Gardner’s. A guttural noise escaped his throat as he walked to grab his key, mouth puckered in dismay at Riley and his terrible luck.

“End me,” Farkle whispered as he sidled up next to Riley.

“Remember earlier, when you said it ‘can’t get any worse’ and then Charlie ended up being a part of our group?” Riley whispered back. Farkle nodded his head. “Well, this is worse than that.”

Farkle threw his arms up in the air, exasperated, but didn’t complain any further. He was going to have to deal with a whole two weeks of Charlie Gardner, so he had to tamper it down and just let it all out when the trip was over.

Ugh. Two freaking weeks!

Ms. Moretti finished giving out keys to the group and instructed them to drop their stuff off in their rooms first, and then they’d be allowed to wander around the hotel for a bit before curfew at midnight. Farkle and Riley made a silent pact to meet up with each other once they were finished, heading up the stairs with their belongings after to find their rooms. Charlie made small talk with Farkle as they looked for their room (which Farkle didn’t mind), but it ended abruptly once they found and were inside their room, right when the door closed behind Farkle.

“So, Riley—” Charlie started, and Farkle threw his head back with a groan.

“No, we are not doing this.”

“I just want to see if you can get her to talk to me!” Charlie exclaimed. Farkle shot him a look of disdain.

“Absolutely not. She’s not interested.”

“How do you know?” Charlie asked. Farkle crossed his arms, rolling his eyes.

“She’s my best friend, Charlie. I know. Trust me on this.”

Charlie stared back at him, unconvinced.

“Are you saying that because you’re interested?”

Farkle gawked at him.

“What?!”

Charlie shrugged.

“You heard me. Is that why you’re being so protective of her? Because you like her?”

Farkle breathed, disgruntled at his situation. He wondered if Riley was faring any better with Missy. She probably was, considering Missy most definitely wasn’t talking to her.

“Alright, here’s the deal. One, Riley’s not interested in your advances, and I know that because I’m her best friend. And two, maybe instead you can try to be her friend? That’s usually a good first step. Now do you mind? I’ve got places to be.”

Farkle left the room without waiting for Charlie’s response, desperate to just get away.

Unfortunately for him, that wasn’t the first time any guy had approached him about his girl friends. On multiple occasions has he been flagged down to see if Maya, Riley, and Smackle were free, and Farkle managed each time to slip away, tired of having to face stupid teenage boys and their advances on his friends.

Farkle made his way back down the stairs, hopeful that Riley had escaped her room so that the two of them could just hang out on their first night in Rome. Of course, part of his wanting to be around her was due solely to his social anxiety, but the other part was truly because he wanted as much time to hang out with his best friend before their time together waned for the near future.

“Oh, Farkle. Thank god,” Riley sighed with relief once he was back in the lobby, “You have no idea what five minutes of hell I’ve been through.”

“I think I definitely have some clue,” Farkle said. “Can you believe Charlie wants to see if you’ll go out with him?”

Riley buried her head in her hands.

“I think he’s built me up on a pedestal. I’m not that good of a person.”

Farkle tugged on a lock of her hair, smiling.

“I beg to differ.”

Riley chuckled.

“Your opinion is null. You’re biased because you’re my friend.”

“Are you saying that’s a bad thing?” he raised his brow. She shook her head, linking arms with him.

“Nope, not at all. Now, Mr. Minkus, care to explore the hotel with me?”

“I thought you’d never ask, Ms. Matthews,” he smirked, allowing her to lead the way.

Together, Riley and Farkle ventured every nook and cranny of the hotel, disturbing some of the guests in the process who had already gone to bed. Farkle felt a little bad, but he didn’t regret the laughter that erupted from within him from spending time with Riley. Also, it was hard to deny that it was funny when an adult stepped out and shot them a nasty look, only for Farkle and Riley to apologize and then make fun of them as soon as they shut the door.

Being in Italy was like being a kid again. It felt kind of cathartic in a way, feeling no pressures of school and being completely unattached to the world around him. Spending time alone with his best friend while the world was theirs to conquer.

Farkle missed those days terribly.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about, Farkley?” Riley prodded him after his laughter died down, leaving them in a bout of silence.

“I was just thinking that this is like when we were younger. Remember when me, you, and Maya would spend every summer day at the park and your mom had to practically drag us away from the monkey bars? You were so determined to make it across,” he chuckled, recalling the memory fondly.

“I did do it once. I wasn’t going to give up on that, especially since Sarah had teased me about it each year.”

“And when you finally did figure it out, your mom was really impressed. I think that was when she realized that you got a lot from her, too.”

“I’m still every bit as much Cory’s daughter. It makes him proud, like he has his own little mini-me or something,” Riley joked before stopping dead in her tracks. “Ooh, let’s check this out!”

Riley pulled Farkle onto what appeared to be a large stretch of balcony off the fourth floor of the hotel. A slight breeze danced through the air, the city below them illuminated by the light of the moon.

“Wow,” Farkle said, sucking in a breath of fresh air, “Every time I think Rome can’t get any more beautiful, I’m proven wrong. I’m so glad we went on this trip.”

Farkle walked closer to the concrete railing guarding them from the drop below, watching intently as everyone moved around below by the dim of the streetlights. Riley joined him, beaming.

“And glad that I forced you to take Italian with me the past couple of years?”

Farkle snorted.

“That, too. Though, I already knew a few languages and my options were limited, but I would’ve chosen it, anyway. You’re my friend. That’s already enough to get me to do things.”

Riley looked away from Farkle bashfully, her cheeks dusting a light pink that was noticeable enough by the moonlight.

“Sometimes, I think you’re too much of a pushover for your own good, Farkle Minkus,” Riley told him, leaning her head upon his shoulder. He hummed, not denying that fact one bit.

They stood there for a long while, letting a comfortable silence fall between them as they continued gazing at the wonderful city below them. Then, Farkle said something so quiet that almost he didn’t quite hear it, but the words were still there.

“I’d do anything for you, Riley Matthews.”

Even he could barely grasp the depths to which he cared for her, maybe a little more than he could understand at that very moment, but he knew he was fond of her. Nothing could change that, not even growing up.

His heart would forever remain hers to some degree, and Farkle thought to himself that he could live with that.

It always was and always would be—no amount of distance could change that fact, either.

[taglist for this fic: @hisanas]

[anyone else who wants to be on the taglist for this fic, let me know! :) ]

#riley x farkle #riarkle #riarkle fanfic #farkle x riley #riarkle fanfiction

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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years

Text

You’re still the smartest girl I know; John Deacon x daughter teen reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys wow my final crunch time at college has kept me REALLY busy with all these final projects that I need to do, so my thanksgiving break is gonna be INSANE with doing all this work that I need to do BUT the good news is is that I had this request done in my downtime that I had, so to the anon who requested this awhile back, I’m SOOO SORRY for getting it to you so late but I hope you love it either way.

I also have updates on a few of my series so I may end up making a post about my writing updates and what all I plan to work on to try and get more organized with all that I have to do. So I’ve got two updates for you guys so I hope you all like this fic.

Warnings: school, mild angst, failing school, FLUFF, Dad!Deacy (cause let’s face it its a warning because he’s FREAKIN ADORABLE!!!) and my unknown knowledge of how Catholic schools work, so if I’m wrong about something, PLEASE send me a comment or an inbox to correct it.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@queendeakyy

@platawnic

@kairosfreddie

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I just don’t get it. My dad graduated with 8 GCE O level and 3 A level in electronics, he’s designed his own amp, and helps with not only the family finances but the band finances too. He’s the smartest guy I know and I share half of his genius, or at least I should.

I needed to sustain at least a 3.50 average to stay in my current Catholic secondary school but with my failing classes I’m barely at a 2.50. It’s not that I don’t try to do the work I do the homework and attend the lectures, it’s just that some of my classes like Geometry and Ancient religions, the teachers make the assignments so confusing.

Even when I would write the papers, they always found something to pick at and I end up with either C’s or even D’s on my papers, even when I would stay up all night skimming through book after book to get the required aspects they ask for. Also their quizzes and exams are so unfair, they would tell us this or that would be on the test, but by the time the test came around, absolutely NONE of the stuff they said would be on it, is on it. Hell they’ve put things down that we haven’t even learned yet.

It was currently Fall break and I spending some time with my family for the holiday trying to get my mind off of school. I was watching over my brothers rough house in the backyard. God they were so lucky they don’t have to deal with the harsh school life just yet.

“So (y/n) how’s school going love?” I heard my mum say. I quickly looked up at her and said quickly.

“School’s fine.” She looked at me skeptically.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yeah mum, everything’s fine.” Then fortunately saved by the bell, the doorbell rang and I immediately shot up and said. “I’ll get it!” I quickly raced to the front door and cracked it open. And there at the door was the mail carrier. He took out of his bag our mail for the day and he said.

“Here’s your mail ma’am.”

“Thanks Gardner, have a good day.” I said. He nodded and walked off the curb and continued down the road with his route. I closed the door and skimmed through the mail. Most of it was bills, some Queen stuff for dad to sign and look over, but then there was a letter from the school sent to me. At this point my heart was racing.

“Who was that?” Oh shit dad. I turned around to see him coming down the stairs holding my baby sister who had probably just woken up from her nap.

“Oh just the mail. Mostly bills this time, but then again what else is new. And there’s some Queen stuff for you to look over dad.” I handed him most of the mail but kept the letter from London University for me.

“Well what’s that?”

“What? Oh this oh it’s just junk mail. Something about 20% interest rate on life insurance from a different company. Damn things are just scams anyway. I’ll shred it dad.” I walked up and kissed his cheek then my baby sister before racing upstairs.

As soon as I reached my room, I closed the door and locked it and leaned against it in a panic. Nervously I opened up the envelope and it read the worst thing I could imagine.

To Miss (Y/n) (M/n) Deacon,

It has come to our attention of your low grades. It is required that your parents come in for a meeting with the Headmaster in regards to your low grades.

At that point my mind went blank as I ignored all that the letter said. Tears formed in my eyes. Goddamnit why did they send this letter? Cause first comes the letter, then the phone calls will follow. I’ve tried so hard to keep my struggles in school away from my parents because I didn’t want them to get involved, that all I needed to do was try better since that’s all teachers seem to push onto me, if not then I’ll make it up in summer school.

I just wanted to prove that I was as smart as my dad is.

So I hide the letter in the folds of my diary knowing that my parents don’t go snooping around it and putting it in the secret place where I know my snoopy brothers can’t get to it (thank god I change places every week) and tried to forget about it. It was then a knock was heard at my door.

“(Y/n)? Poppet is everything okay in there?”

“Uhh—yeah dad everything’s fine.”

“Then why is your door locked?”

“I’m changing clothes dad, I’m meeting Stacy and Courtney for a movie later tonight.” There was a brief moment of silence before he said.

“Alright but at least unlock it. We’ve talked about this before, plus your brothers think girls are gross so I doubt they’d pop in on their sister changing.”

“Okay dad sorry.” Thank god he bought it. I then went over to my phone and tried to make my lie seem real as I called both Stacy and Courtney to meet me at the theater in 15min.

Thankfully since it was the weekend, my parents let me go out later than usual so long as I was back before ten. My dad gave me some money for the tickets and food and we kissed each other goodbye and I drove off to the theater.

I soon met my two best friends and we decided to just walk around the mall instead going to see a movie. It was there I told the girls everything. As they were trying on new stuff from a new store called The Gap, I said to them.

“What am I gonna do girls?”

“Well you know me girl, if I were you I’d just come clean.” Said Courtney.

“Are you crazy?! No way can she tell them about this. Okay chick this is what you do. You answer any calls the school makes and come up with any and every excuse you’ve got.” Stacy said as she peeked over her changing room into Courtney’s.

“Stace, no offense but your parents may buy into that but I’ve met her mum and dad and they aren’t stupid like yours are.”

“Yeah you got a point. Hell I could go to prison for murder and my parents wouldn’t care.”

“Guys hello! Back to me.” I begged.

“Sorry. Well looks like your screwed chickadee.”

“Oh gee thanks Stace.”

“Look (y/n). All I can tell you is that you won’t be able to hide this forever. Just—show them the note and tell them the truth. I’m sure they’ll understand if you explain it to them. And I can back you up about Mr. Crowley. Guy’s a right up arsehole if you ask me. Gave me -20 points because I used the wrong citation for the Bibliography page. And it was only one source that was labeled wrong” Said Courtney.

“Yeah and our Geometry teacher Miss. Ringo, I can barely understand what she’s saying with that thick Dutch accent of hers. Gave me a 30% on our last exam.”

“That’s because all you did was doodle and call her an old bat.” I said bluntly.

“Oh yeah. But oh man you should’ve seen the look on her face on the last homework assignment we had.”

“I don’t even wanna know.” Said Courtney.

“Trust me you don’t.” I vouched.

“Hey come on, let’s forget about school, get you to try on some clothes. We’ll go to the food court and get your mind off of things. Sound good?” Stacy said as she came out wearing a new jean jacket with suspenders underneath. I nodded and said with a smile.

“Thanks guys, you’re the best friends I could ask for.”

“Hey divas in diapers remember? The three musketeers. The triple threat angelz.”

“With a Z because…..”

“We’re bad bitches!” we all exclaimed as we held our right hands out in a fist touching each other’s in a triangle shape. And so that’s how it was, the girls helped me get my mind off of the letter and the stress of school with a good Girl’s day out.

A couple days later I was back in school in my Ancient Religions class. Mr. Crowley of course barely allowed any time for me to fully write down what he had on the board because he immediately went to the next thing. He never once asked if anyone had any questions and if someone stopped him, he’d slam the ruler down on the student’s desk and either ask them to meet him after class, or just give them detention.

“Alright students; I’m going to give you your final assignment for the semester for you to do just before winter break.” Everyone groaned. He had just give us a 10 page paper on how Christianity as a whole effected the Global conquest, and now he’s giving us another essay to do. “Hey, hey, hey, hey! No complaints you miscreants!”

But just before he could continue, the intercom beeped above us.

“Mr. Crowley?”

“Yes?” he said annoyedly.

“Will you please send Miss. Deacon into the office.”

“She’s on her way.”

“Thank you.”

“(Y/n) Deacon.” At that point everyone but Courtney all made the ‘oooo busted’ vocals. I flipped them off as Mr. Crowley made me my hall pass so that I wouldn’t get caught by a teacher patrolling the halls. I grabbed my bag and left the classroom.

I walked down the second floor staircase, down to the main level and turned towards the entrance where the main office was. I walked in and I said.

“I’m (Y/n) Deacon. I was told to come here from Mr. Crowley’s class.” The receptionist said.

“Ahh yes Miss. Deacon. The Headmaster would like to speak with you.” Oh shit. This is probably about that letter. I swallowed nervously and hung my bag further up my shoulder and walked down the corridor towards the Headmaster’s office. It felt like the walkway was getting longer as I walked towards that dreaded office room, that was until finally I arrived at it.

Slowly I reached up and knocked on it. There was a brief period of silence before a low voice said.

“Come in.” I opened the door and there standing at the grand desk was Headmaster Byron. He was a fairly older man (if I had to make a guess I’d say currently around Miami’s age). He was a bit—you now stout shape wise. He was going bald and he wore glasses over his hazel eyes. “Ahh Miss. Deacon please sit down.” I walked in and nervously sat down at the chair in front of me.

“You—wanted to see me sir?”

“Yes. I’ve called you down here regarding a letter I had sent over the fall break. I expected to hear a call from your parents but I hadn’t heard anything back from them. Is there a problem?” Oh god what do I say to him?

“Well I—I guess the mail service was just a little slow. Because we haven’t received the letter just yet.”

“Hmm well that’s unusual. Usually the mail service is properly on time. I mean at least we’re more organized than the American system at least to my knowledge.”

“Yeah guess they must’ve lost it.” I said nervously fiddling with my fingers, anxiously picking at my nails.

“In that case; I can send you with another copy of the letter. But if I don’t hear anything within 24hours expect the first phone call.” I nodded as he handed me the same letter that I had gotten in the mail over the break. I thanked him and quickly headed out of the office. On my way back to class I ripped the letter up into as many pieces as I could before discarding it into the nearest bin and returned to class like nothing happened.

After school I was in my room trying to make sense of the math homework I had to deal with and that’s when a knock was heard at my open door. I looked up and there stood my mum.

“Hey love. So you’re dad’s working late tonight with the band so I’m ordering a pizza for dinner. What would you like on yours?”

“Get me a full cheese and my toppings are sausage and pepperoni.”

“You got it. Doing homework?” I nodded solemnly. “Which class is it for?”

“Geometry.”

“Oh yeah, I remember taking that class. Hardest thing I ever knew. In fact all math was difficult for me. Thank god for your dad though, he was always better at finances than I was. That’s how we met as a matter of fact, I was struggling with my Algebra homework and he offered to help me since we were in the same class together.” Lucky her that she at least had dad to help her, meanwhile I on the other hand had absolutely no one to help me.

Everyone was in it for themselves, not even the teacher was willing to give us tutoring sessions if we didn’t get any of the stuff taught in class. He just expected us to memorize and do everything correctly.

“Say, speaking of geometry did you get the midterm results back yet?” Oh god that’s right. Dad actually skipped out on Queen rehearsals to help tutor me for the upcoming fall midterm exam.

Unfortunately for all that hard work, nothing we had practiced was on the midterm, half the stuff was gibberish to me so I just wrote random answers that I could and I ended up with an F.

“He uhh—he got super busy grading our other stuff that he didn’t have time to look over the midterms. But he said hopefully in the next week or two he’ll get to it.”

“Are you sure?” I nodded and she looked at me skeptically.

“Okay, if you say so. I’ll call you when dinner arrives okay?”

“Sounds good mum. Love you.”

“Love you too.” She kissed the top of my head and left my room. I turned away and tossed my books and homework off my bed and buried my face into my bedsheets and softly began to cry.

Why? Why does this have to happen to me?! Why can’t I just get the damn work? Why do I have to be such a fucking idiot!?!?

Days passed and I still didn’t have the heart to tell my parents that I was failing school. And when the phone started ringing I tried to make an effort to try and answer it before they did, fearing that it was the school.

Some calls it was to which I would make excuses for the school and then tell my mum and dad that it was just boring telemarketers trying to sell us stuff. Other times it’d be Uncle Freddie or uncle Roger calling for Deacy about some Queen business stuff (and of course I chatted with them, I’ve known them ever since I was a baby, plus Freddie was my godfather—or I should say fairy godmother).

But it wasn’t until one day when I came home from an afterschool football game Stacy and Courtney invited me to, that I would pay dearly for the lie that I had been trying to keep.

“Yeah I know and when Bobby finally scored the winning goal I swear it was a one and a million shot he got that!” Stacy exclaimed as we got out of her car and walked up my driveway before stopping at the gate.

“I tell you you’ve got one lucky man right there Stace. Your boy’s gonna go far in football.” Said Courtney.

“All I know is that for the first time in decades our school is finally in the playoffs and that we might have a shot of winning the district championship since 1971.” I said.

“Well we definitely have the best team to get us there. Not to mention the cutest.” Courtney said before snickering towards the end.

“I’ll drink to that.” I said taking a shot of my water.

“(Y/n). Can you come in here please?” I looked up to see my dad standing there by the door. His arms crossed over his chest and I could tell something was wrong.

“Yeah dad I’ll be right there. See you girls Monday then?”

“We’ll save you a seat at the cafeteria before homeroom.” The girls then walked back to the car and they drove off. I opened the gate and trotted up the stairs before standing in front of him.

“Is something wrong dad?”

“Come in the house and let’s talk.” He placed a hand on my shoulder and guided me inside. As we walked through the house towards the kitchen, I could feel the tension in the air. It was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. My mum sat there at the kitchen table looking distraught almost. “Have a seat.” Okay now I was getting a little freaked out.

I sat down and that’s when dad stood behind mum placing his hands on her shoulders.

“(Y/n), has something been going on at school that you’re not telling us?” asked my mum concerned.

“No—why do you ask?”

“Well we caught Robert and Michael reading your diary and—”

“They what!? MICHAEL! ROBERT GET YOUR ARSES DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE BUGGERS!!!”

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Language and lower that tone in your voice!” dad snapped at me. “We handled the boys, but it was then we found this.” He took something out of his pocket before unfolding it and placing it down right in front of me on the table. My heart sunk and my throat grew dry.

It was the first letter sent in by my school.

“So we called the school and they said they’ve been trying to get in touch with us. And that you said we didn’t receive any letter the first time around so the Headmaster gave you a second letter.” Mum stated more in an interrogating tone than the concerned tone she had earlier.

“Have you really been failing your classes? And this time don’t. Lie. To us.”

“No!” I exclaimed.

“They said you’re barely holding a 2.50 GPA.”

“Well I—I just….I don’t mean to I-I-I-I….the teachers they’re…..” I kept rambling as I felt tears in my eyes and my throat clenched. “I don’t get why I’m being target.”

“The better question is why did you lie to us!? You’ve known about your grades for what weeks? And you lied to us every time a grade was mentioned! Do you have any idea the level of betrayal you’ve given to me and your mother!?” my dad’s voice slowly raised up in anger.

I tucked away in fear at his intimidating voice. He rarely and I say this with a big emphasis that my dad rarely gets mad, but when he does—oh god help us all. I didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer him.

“(Y/n) (m/n) Deacon answer me when I’m talking to you!” he snapped. I looked up fearfully and ashamed and I did the only thing that was running through my mind.

Run.

I got up and as quick as I could I raced out of the house and down the street. I fucked up. I know, but at this point it was too late. Just seeing my dad get angry with me, I knew he hated me now.

I ran all the way down the street and turned left and ran towards old widow Johannsson’s back garden. I opened the gate that stood around her AC vent and locked the door so that no one could open it. I leaned against the corner of the gate and just sobbed as hard as I could.

All of my fears and sorrow came out as I wept hysterically and choked on my sobs, that’s when I heard my dad’s voice calling out my name. I held my hand over my mouth to try and keep quiet as his voice got louder and louder. I soon saw him through the cracks in the fence as he looked around. Unfortunately a sniffle just had to come out and soon dad turned towards the fence.

“(Y/n)?”

“Please just go away and let me cry in peace.” I choked out.

“That’s not going to happen, now c’mon open the gate.”

“No you—you already hate me.” He scoffed out a sigh.

“Wha—what makes you think I hate you?” he asked in disbelief.

“You only yell when you hate someone. And now you hate me. You hate me that I lied to you. You hate me for keeping secrets. And you hate me because I’m stupid.”

“Hello? What—what is going on out here?” widow Johansson came out on top of her deck and looked down towards us.

“I’m sorry Valarie but—could you give us a few minutes?” she must’ve looked down and saw me because that’s when she slowly backed off and allowed my dad to talk to me again. “(Y/n), love I—I don’t hate you. Yeah I’m upset because you lied to your mum and I but I could never, ever hate you.”

“But you do dad don’t deny it. I kept this from you and you’ll never forgive me. You’ll never love me again because I’m a stupid bitch who can’t understand anything!”

“First of all you are not a stupid bitch. You are a brilliant, smart, beautiful young girl. And I will always love you no matter what.”

“Stop saying that. Please just go away please…..” I trailed off before pleading out one last time. “Please.” With that I didn’t hear another response from him as I continued to softly weep. I could hear footsteps walking up widow Johansson’s back deck and then the back door closed. I looked up and saw my dad as well as widow Johansson gone. I wiped my tears and just curled myself into a ball.

I don’t know how much time passed but I knew it wasn’t long, maybe 5-7 minutes because the next thing I hear are footsteps walking back down the deck and my dad sitting himself down against the gate. It was then I heard a guitar being strummed before a familiar tune was being played.

It was strange to hear it on guitar instead of an electric piano like it was on the record but the tune was easily recognizable, especially when my dad softly began singing the lyrics. And sure he didn’t have as good a voice as my uncles did but—he still made the song count.

Oh, you're the best friend that I ever had I've been with you such a long time You're my sunshine and I want you to know That my feelings are true I really love you Oh, you're my best friend

While it is true that my dad wrote this song for my mum back when a Night at the Opera came out, he also written it for me as well. Because when he first played it for us, he said he wanted a song dedicated to his favorite girls.

So taking the electric piano he practiced and practiced till he knew how to play the tune and since then the song’s been like a comforting lullaby to me. And he’s played and sung it to me ever since.

Ooh, you make me live Whenever this world is cruel to me I got you to help me forgive Ooh, you make me live now honey Ooh, you make me live

You're the first one When things turn out bad You know I'll never be lonely You're my only one And I love the things I really love the things that you do Oh, you're my best friend

Ooh, you make me live

I'm happy at home You're my best friend

He stopped playing and slightly turned towards me. I wiped away my tears and just like it always did, it made me stop crying.

“Guess I still got it huh?”

“Shut up.” I muttered which made him softly chuckle.

“Can you please open the gate love? Let me see my best friend.” He asked. I slowly scooted towards the gate and slowly reached for the handle. I held onto it for a while and I pulled one side down which caused the other side to lift up. The gate slowly opened and there sitting a few feet away from me was my dad. “There she is.”

I sniffled and wiped away the tearstains but I was still afraid to look him in the eye for more than a second. I felt his hand cup the side of my face wiping away the tears.

“Do you think you can talk to me now?” I nodded. “Okay. Now (y/n) please explain to me why you lied to us about your grades?”

“Because I—I wanted to prove myself.”

“Prove yourself about what?”

“That I could be as smart as you. You’re the smartest man I know and you never seem to get stumped about anything. You graduates college with the highest in your major, you’ve built your own amps from old junk, and you handle both our finances as well as the bands. But—the schoolwork I’m given is so beyond hard. I tried my best dad it’s not that I don’t do the homework because I do. I really do, it’s just that…..”

“Hey, hey poppet. Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay.” I sniffled and harshly wiped my tears away but my dad stopped me and replaced my thick sleeve with his gentle but calloused fingers. “I know you do the homework. I’ve seen you do it and so has your mum.”

“But the teachers make it so unfair to learn. They say this or that will be on the test but then something we haven’t even learned yet is what ends up as majority of the questions. Or they’re not consistent with what they want on the papers before giving us a bigger paper the next day after the previous one. Dad I—I’m a failure. And I didn’t want you to be ashamed of having a stupid daughter like me.”

“Oh (y/n),” he scooted closer to me and cupped both sides of my face forcing me to look up at him with teary eyes. “I am in no way, nor will I ever be ashamed to have you as my daughter. You’re my first baby girl and I love you soo much. You don’t have to be a genius like me to be my daughter, because you are smart in your own clever way.”

“But I—I’m failing my classes, how can I be smart when I’m failing?”

“You’re still trying, are you not?” I shrugged.

“I guess.”

“Then that proves your smart. Oh my sweet girl I wish you had come to me about this sooner instead of feeling like you had to hide this from me.”

“I’m sorry daddy.” I softly choked out.

“It’s okay love. Now come here, you deserve cuddles and kisses right now.” I immediately fell into his arms and buried myself into his shoulder. He rubbed my back in soothing circles and stroked through my hair. “We’ll get this sorted out okay? But promise me that you’ll never lie to us about school again, okay?”

“I promise…..never again.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

And they did just that. I showed my parents everything regarding exams, homework and showed just how unfair the work was for me. I showed them my notes and told them what my teachers were really like.

The next day they scheduled a meeting with the headmaster and they talked about how the teachers are treating me and my fellow classmates unfairly with too much work and not unfair teachings of not asking for help.

Now one would think after telling you this I got off scot-free right? Wrong. I was grounded for the same amount of time that I had lied to my parents about school, so that meant over a week and a half of no TV, no after school activities and no phone privileges.

But after getting the teachers fired and currently dealing with substitutes for the rest of the year, whenever dad wasn’t busy with Queen; he made a promise to sit down with me and if there was anything I was stuck on, he’d help me with it. No matter how long it took.

105 notes · View notes

sinfulnature · 4 years

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hello, hello, hello ! i am late but i am here finally and i’m sorry it took me so long. below the cut you’ll find little write ups for each of my muses. wanted connections will be posted later but in the meantime please take this.

{ chris evans, 39, cis male, he/him, pansexual } welcome, henry king ! you make a living as a high profile director outside of the island ? cool. you’ve been here for two and a half weeks, right ? staying in room 402 ? you’re into ass to mouth & worship, but not gaping & extreme humiliation ? mr. conway will be sure to accommodate. i heard you were most excited for the beach, which makes sense. rumor has it you’re resourceful & critical, but i think people should get to know you for themselves.

introducing henry king, a high profile director who flies out annually to the resort to spend his summer months relaxing with his wife and boyfriend at his side.

he had a mostly stable childhood, one that was spent with two younger siblings in tow and a mother who was like a prototype of what a pinterest mom would be. his father spent a lot of time at work and it’s something that, while henry doesn’t begrudge him for it now, was frustrating as a child and not knowing why he wasn’t there.

the first major thing that henry remembered his father attending was his junior year of high school when he was the student director for a one act production of snapshots, an anthology of short plays. his father, also a director, took the time to give him notes about the things that could have been done to tighten up the show. the last four words were i’m proud of you. that was the moment that henry decided that he wanted to be a director.

fast forward to college and he goes to the goes to the university of southern california’s film school and instead of taking just the director classes, he takes the time to add a year and a half to his time in college and gets a screenwriting degree out of it.

his first production partner was his father, who promised henry that he would fund one movie, from top to bottom, with the help of a production company that was owned by a close friend. henry wrote and directed the thing himself and, though it didn’t garner major awards, it was screened at sxsw. that was enough.

let it be known that henry knows that his introduction into the world of filmmaking was super nepotistic. he understands that he had so many more advantages than any other person in his shoes, at his time, first starting to make movies when he did, and he was still terrified of failing.

with the above, it should also be known that henry goes out of his way to make sure he’s telling stories that, while he has not experienced them, he can find the right people to help him tell it and amplify voices that otherwise might not be heard. not out of guilt or a need to make up for his introduction to the business, but out of an understanding that his platform should be used to reach every single person and not alienate.

due to the stresses of his job and the level of scrutiny he’s constantly under, he’s well known to seem to abscond from the world as soon as his movies have come out for the summer. as a director of typically action packed, star studded films, he’s usually on his way to the resort by the second or third week of june.

though he makes so many of these action packed blockbusters, he also tries to make sure that he makes movies that appeal to his soul and finds himself in the process of developing a high fantasy series that’s in the same line as the authorless harry potter books and lord of the rings.

this is his second year at the resort and henry can see this honestly becoming an annual thing for himself, his wife, and his boyfriend to do. so many frustrations of his are squashed down throughout the year, not through anyone’s own fault, but just because there’s a lot of weight on one’s shoulders when billions of dollars sit on it every year. this is the place where his hedonistic tendencies shine through and he’s not particularly mad about it.

{ corinna kopf, 27, cis female, she/her, pansexual } hey there, alexandrea conway! you’re still the financial officer and you’ve been working here for two and a half years ? and you’re living in villa one. cool. you’re into body worship & creampies, but not extreme humiliation & scat play ? that’s what i thought. when you’re not working, you’re at her villa, right ? well, makes sense. people say you’re even tempered & prying, but i think they should get to know you for themselves.

introducing alexandrea katherine conway née douglas, the wife of oliver conway and chief financial officer at the resort. they’ve been married for about two years.

she had a relatively happy childhood and comes from a line of claimants to a scottish duchy of hamilton. she’s the youngest of six children and does technically hold the title of lady but she’s never done anything with it and it’s more a funny story that she tells at parties than it is a serious thing she buys into because she always thought it was a family joke.

prior to coming to the resort, drea graduated from the wharton school of business double major in business and marketing. post graduation she spent a fair amount of time as a prominent social media influencer. her multi million follower platform has translated into some business for the resort in the form of some of their most consistent guests.

at the time of marrying her husband, he offered for the resort to be something they shared in ownership and it sprung some little goblin in her head to deny his offer. she wanted to earn it and not marry into it.

the joke in that, of course, is that when most people look at drea they see incredibly soft curves, the bright blonde hair, the fact that the most articles of clothing she owns are just bathing suits, swim cover ups, and the occasionally very beautifully form fitting dress, the word bimbo appears in their mind on repeat. other words come to mind, too, but that’s the one that drea finds comes up most often.

if we’re being really honest, in the depths of her soul, there’s something that drea finds funny about it. there is a gift in being underestimated and who cared what their perceptions were ? her happiness with her husband and job did not rely on anyone but herself.

she has incredibly open sexual preferences but with a body like hers she favors worship and the kinds of things that don’t leave bruises unless they are loves bites. drea is a switch and is happy to lead or follow, though goddess remains either way, if you’re interested in having her.

{ inbar lavi, 33, cis female, she/her, lesbian } welcome, elodie bram ! you make a living as an international fashion designer outside of the island ? cool. you’ve been here for two weeks, right ? staying in villa two ? you’re into face sitting & rimming, but not food play & blood play ? mr. conway will be sure to accommodate. i heard you were most excited for the beach, which makes sense. rumor has it you’re empathetic & domineering, but i think people should get to know you for themselves. { dottie, 22, est, she/her }

introducing elodie odeya bram, an international fashion designer who makes an annual pilgrimage to the island as part of her process of designing her next year’s summer line. she had a relatively

elodie has always strived to make sure that her brand is inclusive to all sizes and genders. another facet of her brand is that her clothes are considered kosher as they are fully made from plant or animal fibers but not both. her interest in design first came in high school when she was helping to craft costumes for a play and things spiraled from there.

she realized that it was her passion, she attended the parsons school for design, and graduated with an apprentice ship under another designer who had long since been an inspiration for her own work.

elodie’s first collection to make waves happened a few years ago, when she was thirty and her mentor had agreed to take six pieces and let a capsule collection of elodie’s creation as part of their slot in paris’ fashion week. her luck in this mentorship was not beyond her and her good fortune has been at the forefront of her mind for years. seldom is there a night where she does not thank her lucky stars for all the things that have happened and continue to happen.

her mentor, in opening so many doors, also opened the door to the resort and has brought her into the light of one of her favorite places of inspiration. as part of her stay in the villas, she does frequently sketch her own designs and occasionally, when she brings back women to spend time with her, she’ll dress some of them up in her newest designs to see how they’ll functionally work.

she’s quite likely to pull together a collection of women she wants to spend time with and there’s almost always some kind of sexual activity happening in her villa. whether fellow guests or employees of the villa, elodie’s indiscriminate in any girl she flirts with and wants to make a move on and we stan her for it.

{ madelyn cline, 23, cis female, she/her, pansexual } hey there, penny rourke ! you’re still a lifeguard and you’ve been working here for two weeks ? and you’re living in room 202. cool. you’re into rimming & exhibitionism, but not fisting & scat ? that’s what i thought. when you’re not working, you’re at the spa, right ? well, makes sense. people say you’re insightful & fickle, but i think they should get to know you for themselves. { dottie, 22, est, she/her }

introducing penelope jean “penny” rourke, a sweet natured girl with a petty streak who grew up in a small town in oregon and honestly only considers going back when the weather in the new york makes her forget about how bad the weather in oregon is.

she grew up in a lovely home with a big family, her mother owning her own small business and her father a detective at the local precinct. solidly middle class, there was very little that penny craved or needed that she did not get. she took on a maternal role in her home, a natural adoption as the oldest of seven children, and she had a hand in their upbringing. while others may have seen that as a burden, it was something that penny enjoyed with her whole heart.

when she went off to college, she applied to all of the ivy leagues and got a significant scholarship to columbia, which is where she met archibald hughes, son of a virginia senator and guy who she said, “you can’t sway my attention from my studies” to on their first day of meeting. she moved in with him in an off campus apartment their junior year of school. he was her greatest hype man and while they’d been having serious talks about marriage and their future.

her relationship with archie ended rather abruptly when his paranoia hit an all time high at the behest of his father. insidious rumors, according to penny, accusations of things she’d promised archie long before that she would never do. her devotion to him was near unbreakable and archie had found the one straw that broke her back and everything came crumbling down: he put his trust in someone else.

recently single, in need of a fresh start and a warm place to go for the summer, and on her summer break from law school, penny has been ready to engage in her first ever hoe phase and has already started it with some success. her ex has recently shown up on the property, though, and that’s made some of her more recent encounters awkward, to say the least, but she’s making it work.

{ tommy martinez, 26, cis male, he/him, pansexual } welcome, jamie flores! you make a living as a famous musician / drummer for the raptors outside of the island ? cool. you’ve been here for one week, right ? staying in room 401 ? you’re into threesomes & body writing, but not bathroom play & scat play ? mr. conway will be sure to accommodate. i heard you were most excited for the docks, which makes sense. rumor has it you’re charming & nosy, but i think people should get to know you for themselves.

introducing james sebastian “jamie” ibarra flores, known professionally as jamie flores. he makes a living as a drummer for the raptors, a band that has achieved critical success and have just wrapped up their first tour and the release of their first album. it was his idea to come to key passion in the first place and it honestly super tracks.

he’s been with the raptors for about three years and prior to joining with them, he’d heard about the resort and promised himself when he had enough to comfortably afford to go after setting his parents up with making sure that their mortgage was paid for and it wouldn’t be the literally most financially irresponsible decision he’s ever made when there were other things and people to prioritize.

prior to coming to the island, though, did he drop like $3k on a girl’s amazon wishlist because he’s simpin’ real hard ? yes. can he afford to do it ? Yes.

not particularly religious and verging on the edge of anarchist, jamie uses his platform to promote a lot of social issues and advocate for the reformation of most systems in the united states. he will not shut up when he talks about politics and one of his most used photos on his camera roll is a picture of his degree in political science from ucla. he’ll come at you with facts and an army of stans.

though he’s typically a relaxed kind of person he’s under the belief that he’s Totally Chill and this is Not At All True. he constantly wants to know 103% of the drama without being directly involved but he’ll do it from his couch and creeping through stan twitter on a burner account so if he accidentally likes something, it doesn’t get back to the band.

he loves ,,, reading fan fiction and reader imagines about himself.

sexually very open and just wants to have a good time while coming off the success of his tour with his bandmates.

#key intro #⟨ ‹ drea conway ⋅ crowned with sunlight，she is a queen here ⋅ headcanon. › ⟩#⟨ ‹ elodie bram ⋅ do not force innocence，it will only give way to chaos ⋅ headcanon. › ⟩#⟨ ‹ henry king ⋅ how human，drunk on the idea of love ⋅ headcanon. › ⟩#⟨ ‹ jamie flores ⋅ angel made devil，put no stock in smoke and mirrors ⋅ headcanon. › ⟩#⟨ ‹ penny rourke ⋅ a heart in a too small cage still beats ⋅ headcanon. › ⟩

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