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#I LOVE THEM!! the ruined version of them makes my heart ache
maudiemoods · 4 months
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WAAAAAUAGRGGG!!
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I love them so so so much!! AURGG!!
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dorotheataylor · 2 months
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Back to December
Pairing- Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader
Summary- You broke up with him because you thought he deserved someone better than you. But here you stand, outside his door, apologising for that night, after realising you loved him too much to let him go. Based on Back to December (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift.
Warnings- angstttt but fluff at the end, hurt/comfort, no curses!au, swearing (maybe), slight ooc suguru (hes called clumsy hehe), probably my english lol.
Word count- 2.3k (excluding lyrics)
A/N- atp yall just know how much big of a swiftie I am lol. So here’s a new fic based on another taylor song haha. And from now on I will write for JJK fandom too coz i’m obsessed lmao. Let me know if you find any mistakes coz this isn’t proofread and hope y’all enjoy.
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Knock. Knock. Knock.
You knocked three times on the door of the house you knew all too well as you picked your nails.
Will he want to see you? Will he shout at you? Will he tell you to get lost? Whatever he does, you knew you deserved it.
You stood outside his door impatiently, nerves getting the best of you while you waited for him to open the door. You could hear things falling down from behind it.
You couldn’t help but chuckle. He was always the clumsy one. One of his things which you missed too much. Your eyes fell on thought of this. Oh how much you wished for a change in your mind back then.
You heard the lock of the door being undone and you started to freak out from inside. Was it a good idea to come here? Maybe. You were about to find out.
“Sorry for the delay. I was caught up-” You heard his voice quiet down when he saw you. God how much you missed his voice. You could listen to his voice every second of the day if possible.
You’ve been good, busier than ever
"Y/N," he breathed, his voice barely above a whisper as he took in your presence on his doorstep, as if he was making sure he wasn’t hallucinating.
The way he said your name, ached your heart. Because it wasn’t filled with love or warmth as before, instead it was more like recognising a stranger.
You took a deep breath before speaking, “long time no see, Suguru.” You smiled slightly.
He couldn’t believe it. He never thought he’d ever see you again after that unfaithful night. The wishes he made to see you every night before he went to bed actually came true. He could actually hear your voice after whole six months. He felt like he was about to cry.
Your guard is up and I know why
All he wanted to do at this moment was to take you in his arms and never let you go again. But he knew he couldn’t. What if you were here to make things even more awful than they already were? He couldn’t handle another heartbreak. So he stood his ground and decided to talk to you in a civil way.
“Come inside. It’ll start s-snowing soon.” He said, mentally cursing himself for stammering as he stepped aside to let you in.
“Thank you.” You muttered before entering his house. The familiar feeling came back to you. The aura and memories of his house, where you had spent countless nights together crashed into your mind like ocean waves. It was overwhelming and you did your best not to burst into tears.
“I’ll bring you something to drink. You can make yourself comfortable till then.” You heard him speak as he quickly walked into the kitchen.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You knew he was doing his best to avoid a more than casual conversation with you. Because the last time you had talked, things turned bitter.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die
You still remembered that day like the back of your hand. He had showed up at your house with roses to surprise you and take you out on a surprise date. And you, being a stupid person, ruined it all.
“Here. I didn’t have anything else except for hot chocolate plus I know how much you love it.” He said handing you the cup filled with hot chocolate, his voice becoming a soft mutter at the last part.
‘He still remembers my likes and dislikes.’ You thought as you smiled softly at him and took the cup, your hands brushing a little. Your cheeks immediately turn red as you tried to hide them, while Suguru thanked the gods that his red cheeks won’t be obvious because it’s winter.
I’d go back to December, turn around and make it all right
But you knew him. You were slightly relieved you still had some effects on him like before. How much you regretted leaving him like that. If only you could go back time and make things right.
You took a sip of your hot chocolate before speaking, “thanks for the hot chocolate, Suguru.”
Geto thought he’d just die right now. The way you said his name, it made him want to forget everything that happened and just hold you into his arms, never letting you go again. But he knew he couldn’t do that.
After some long moments of silence, you decided to break it and said, “how have you been, Suguru?”
“I’ve been- good.” He said with a pause in between. He was lying, but he didn’t want you to know his mental state ever since you had left. “What about you?”
You couldn’t repeat his answer for this question, because you knew it was far from the truth. You couldn’t quite recall the last time you slept peacefully. Maybe it was when you were in Suguru’s arms, safe and loved.
Staying up playing back myself leaving
Your mind replayed memories of that unfaithful night, as if trying to torture you for what you had done. It had started to hurt physically. How much you just wanted apologise and hold him into your arms. But you knew you had lost that right. Why? Because of your stupid insecurities.
You had been in a few relationships in the past apart from Geto. And you were always called out for every little thing you did. Whether it was from the way you ate, or the way you talked, they’d make sure to remind you that you weren’t enough and weird, until they all left you alone. This lead you to believe the same, that you were the problem.
That was until you met Suguru. He was everything you could ask in a man. He was charming, a true gentleman, kind and caring boyfriend who never failed to remind you how much you mean to him.
And I think about Summer, all the beautiful times
You often daydreamed about all your memories from your relationship, from sneaking out at night to late night car drives, from celebrating each other’s birthdays to forgetting plans you’d made with your other friends. Your relationship with him was something you read in books about.
You still remembered the day when you realised that he was the guy you were going to marry someday. You had overheard him talking to Gojo about you. You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but when he mentioned your name, your ears had perked up. And the way be kept on talking about how amazing you were and how much he loved you, you knew he was the one for you.
Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept right into my mind
But of course you had to ruin it all. The ‘what if’ thoughts came back to you. The thought of losing him because you weren’t good enough for him, scared you. You had told him about your past relationships, and he always reminded you that you are more than enough for him and he loves you with all of his heart.
Fuck your stupid negativity. You tried to believe him, you really did. But your mind wouldn’t let you. So it lead you to the one thing which you knew you were going to regret for the rest of your life. You let him go. And you hated yourself for it.
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye
You still remembered the way his face had immediately fallen the moment you spoke those words. He had tried to reason with you, but you wouldn’t listen. And you had slammed the door shut on his face.
Geto didn’t stop bombarding your phone with countless texts and missed calls for days. But you didn’t reply to any of them. Until one day he stopped. Maybe he realised that he was just wasting time being after you. Maybe he realised that you were the problem after all.
It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you
Wishing I’d realised what I had when you were mine
You thought you had did the right thing but turns out, you didn’t. You had only made things worse for both of you. Because you know what they say, you only realise the value of something when its gone. And it turns out that you had loved him too much. You couldn’t let him go. Because you had realised that he was too precious for you to let go and you couldn’t survive without him.
So here you were, six months later, on his couch, drinking hot chocolate. You slowly came out of your thoughts and said the only thing which came into your mind, “I’m sorry.”
To say Geto was surprised was an understanding. He expected anything but an apology from you tonight. Blame him for being conscious and hurt. He didn’t say anything, giving the cue to continue.
“I’m so sorry, Suguru.” You started, trying your best not to sob, “I know this is probably the last thing you expect from me and won’t believe me but I mean it. I’m really sorry. I’m such a fucked up person, who always makes things worse, ruins perfectly going on lives of people, who always lives in self-doubts.”
“Y/N, I-”, Geto started to say something but you cut him off before he could say it.
“Please let me finish.” Geto nodded in response.
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry
“I miss everything about you, about us. I miss how every morning you didn’t fail to wish me ‘good morning’, I miss how you never forgot to check up on me, I miss how you always found a way to make me feel special. I miss how you always held me close to you whenever I didn’t feel like myself. And most of all, I miss the way you used to love me.” You said, tears now falling uncontrollably from your eyes but you don’t care, determined to make things right.
I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t
So you continued, “thing is that I love you, Suguru Geto. And I love you too much to let you go. I made a stupid move by letting you go when all I wanted to do was hold you into my arms. And I hate myself for it. These past six months, I’ve been terrible. There’s not been a single day where I have not wished for myself to be somehow able to go back in time and make things right, stop myself from leaving. But I know I can’t.” You took a deep breath.
So if the chain is on your door I understand
“I know my actions are not something to be easily forgiven, but I promise to do anything to win your trust and love back. I’m willing to change. I’m willing to make things up with you. I swear that if you take me back again, I will love you right and never let you go. Because I have realised my life is nothing if you’re not in it. Please take me back, Suguru. I promise to prove myself worthy of your love.” You couldn’t speak anything after this, sobs continuously escaping your mouth.
Geto stood there, tears in his eyes as well, contemplating what to say. Your apology had caught him off guard, but he knew you had meant every word. He knew that his life was incomplete without you too.
But this is me swallowing my pride
You didn’t hear him speak for a good few minutes, so you take his silence as rejection. Of course he would reject you. You had hurt him, why would he want to get back with someone like you. You let out a shaky breath as a sigh, disappointment for you escaping through it as you stood up.
Standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night
You attempted to smile through your tears. If this was going to be the last time you see him, might as well say goodbye with a smile.
“I got your answer, Suguru. Thank you for giving me best moments of my life. Maybe I didn’t get to have you back, but at least I can live on with your memories. Maybe I-” You didn’t get to finish your sentence as you felt a pair of all too familiar lips on yours, shutting you up.
It turns our freedom ain’t nothing but missing you
You widened your eyes from surprise but immediately shut them as you kissed back, your hands reaching to hug his neck, bringing him closer to you. Suguru wrapped his one arm around your waist and other made its way in your nape, holding you just like he always used to.
Both of you could taste salty tears as you kissed, but weren’t sure who’s they were. All that mattered in that moment was the two of you. You poured all of your love, apprehensions, bottled up feelings for him, regrets into this kiss. He kissed you with same passion. As if your lips were the only thing he needed to survive.
Few moments later, Geto pulled away, foreheads still attached to yours, as he looked into your eyes. “Y/N, in these six months, you made me realise that the only thing which can complete me whole is you. Not getting to tell you these was tearing me apart. I thought I had lost you for good, but then you showed up at my door and all those feelings I had for you doubled. I love all of you, Y/N and I always will. And I’m willing to give us another chance, just promise me that you will talk to me next time you have those negative thoughts.”
Your heart melted hearing his words as you nodded, “I promise.”
Suguru ran his hand through your hair as he spoke again, “and I-I’ll need some time to completely forgive you. I hope you understand that. I’m just scared that you’ll leave me again.”
You quickly shook your head, “I mean it this time, Suguru. I’d never even dream of leaving you. I just got you back. And it’s okay. Take your time. I’m willing to wait for you, even if it is for an eternity.”
Suguru smiled at your words and pulled you into his chest as he swayed you slowly, holding you tightly close to him, and you finally felt complete again. You kissed his neck as you returned his gesture, silently promising him and yourself to never give up on him and let him go ever again.
I’d go back to December all the time
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Ahhh I loved writing angst sm but it always breaks my heart if it doesn’t end with fluff. Anyways hope y’all liked this and if you want, you can send in request for JJK characters too!
(I might’ve gotten a little carried away at the end but i think it was worth it lmao)
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inkskinned · 1 year
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it is all love.
sometimes you will see something saying what if it is all worth it or it gets better, doesn't it and in the little heart of you - you feel a darkness.
was it love, the way i was hurt? some things don't have a lesson in them. no silver lining. they were bad things, and they shouldn't have happened. i'm sorry they did. i am sorry they warp the space they hold in you. we tightrope walk around an ever-present grave. we carry that ache for so long it becomes smooth, overworn. i worry that i'll bore my therapist - despite all of my attempts, the pain persists the same, as sharp as it always was.
but it was all love.
every ugly moment after. every bad night. every time you drank too much and cried on the bathroom floor. every time you threw up from anxiety, every time you panicked in the grocery store. everything you ruined, and everything you walked away from.
some small part of you loved you enough. made you get up. made you wash your face and clean your teeth and call home. made you try again, even from the bottom. even when you were so tired of it; of restarting, of having to do-it-all-again. some part of you reached out. some part of you reached up. even there, in the bad spot - you somehow got up.
love will so rarely be big. it will so rarely be a moment like a dawn. love is shy, i think. she keeps her hands in front of her cheeks. she waits to peek out. and if you're not looking, she will look - normal.
but it will all be love. the way you pour yourself a glass of water. the little rabbit outside your window. your friend pushing your hair behind your ear. the way your dog greets you at the door. "put on a seatbelt". "text me when you get home safe". "oh, i started watching that show you love." "have you been okay?" "let's go for a walk" "whatcha doin?" "what should i make for dinner?"
oh, my life is so different these days. i don't have a partner. i call my friends a lot. i keep falling in love with the little tender moments; the glittering ones. you know, the bird in a puddle and the shush of a newly-lit candle. the movie-moments.
i am also learning to love the ugly. every moment i spent belly-flat to the floor, anxious and panting. every hour i stared at nothing, losing time to my adhd. every missed opportunity and bad memory. i am not doing well. i am spiralling.
but somewhere in there, while i am reduced to ashes. some part of me is an ever-burning ember. her little thankless job, her shy and croaking voice. she holds me to my body. she doesn't let me go. stay, she whispers. out of love. my love. wherever it goes.
some of the bad things that happened to me will always be bad. they did not make me a better person. they made me worse. i only learned what i can endure. and i did endure it. and love wasn't just the perfumed moments. love was just ... staying. while it's ugly and hard and horrible. love was just saying:
okay. i will keep trying. keep going. i owe it to the version of myself who brought me here. i owe it to my future. i owe it to the small loves i have found since - the music and the new recipes and the new books and the new hobbies. i owe it to myself to wait for the next best thing. this wall we have hit - love says keep walking. maybe one day we will find a door.
always, always: just one try more.
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creedslove · 1 year
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BETRAYED - CHAPTER SEVEN (SPECIAL EDITION)
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Pedro Pascal x f!reader
Summary: Pedro invites you to be his plus one for the night but his attention is caught by another woman and leaves you with a broken heart
Warnings: angst, age gap, established friendship, unrequited love/one sided feelings, a little bit of fluff
A/N: PLEASE ATTENTION
As I said in a previous post, I had two plot lines to follow in this story and I couldn't make up my mind which one would be better. I asked help from a friend and though she helped me choose, I just wasn't feeling the story so I decided to write the two versions and let you all decide which one you prefer. The thing is, I woke up feeling exhausted and in a bad mood, I wanted to write to help me process my feelings but it turned out pure shit but I don't have enough energy to try and write it better, so you all get ready because this is not my best work.
Basically, you will read two drabbles that will take the story to different turns and at the end all you have to do is vote :D
A/N part 2: I still can't manually tag people on the works because I use the app and it won't let me do it, that's why I don't have a tag list at all!
1.8k words
PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE | PART SIX
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FIRST VERSION
After Pedro made sure Liev had left your house for good and locked all the doors just in case, you finally allowed yourself to cry. You felt such a turmoil of feelings within and it all clawed your throat, making it almost impossible to breathe. You hugged yourself as you sat down heavily onto the couch, trying to process what had happened.
You shook your head, your eyes closed shut as you wanted to undo things. If you could turn back in time, you'd do things so differently.
Pedro returned to the living room, immediately rushing to you and wrapping his arms around your body. He had washed his face and now the blood had been wiped off, you could see his face hadn't been damaged apart from a darkening bruise under his eye. He rubbed your back in a comforting way, lifting your chin up and staring into your eyes with worry.
"It's alright, cariño, things will be fine" he tried reassuring you, his hand finding yours and holding it tight. "I'll make sure you're safe, princesa"
"Nothing will be fine, Pedro. Don't you fucking understand it? You ruined everything once again!" You couldn't control yourself and simply shouted at him, letting all the anger and confusion slip out of your tongue, even if you weren't sure if he was guilty or not. Surely he was, but it wasn't just about that, and you knew it. You were lost and you had nowhere to turn.
He frowned and bit his lips, clearing his throat "Y/N, I know you're scared and confused about everything that happened, but I'm here for you, he won't bother you again" he assured you but you were unable to hold back things any longer.
"It is not all about you, Pedro. I know you got your head far up in your ass now that you are such a big star and how your ego is all the time well-fed by all the attention you got from the world, but not every single thing that goes on in my life is about you, Pedro. I had made things clear, I had told you I didn't want you, and you came here, you made that scene in front of Liev and now he hates me!" You said angrily.
"Are you telling me that after he threatened to beat you up, you're worried about him? Worried about his reaction? You told me you weren't even his girlfriend, why is it so important to you?" He asked angrily at how weird you were acting.
You bit your lips, trying to hold the news but you couldn't any longer. You had to let it out, your heart ached for some kind of comfort, some relief after keeping such a secret. Blinking away your tears, you looked at him.
"Because I'm pregnant, Pedro!!!" You raised your voice once more.
•••
Pedro felt as if time had stopped for a moment. He had heard your words, he had comprehended them, but it still didn't feel real. He tried processing it several times, but it didn't seem true to him. He was silent for a couple of minutes, and didn't dare say anything at first.
He noticed his mouth was dry and you sort of waited for an answer. He scratched the back of his neck and carefully chose his words.
"I'm guessing the baby's Liev's… and that was what that dinner was about, correct?" He saw you nodding and continued "and I assume it wasn't planned…"
You finally gathered some courage to speak and nodded "of course it wasn't, but I got sick about a month ago, got some really strong antibiotics and somehow they messed up with the effect of my birth control" you cried "and now you fucked up everything because he walked on us and of course he will never believe the baby is his. I mean, I don't even know if I'll keep the baby in the first place but still, I don't expect you to understand, you never wanted a family of your own-" you stopped yourself, realizing you were snapping at him, remembering how delicate the subject had been to him the time you had your argument. You swallowed hard and sighed "all I'm trying to say is that I don't know what to do, I'm lost and alone"
Pedro immediately softened up, he completely ignored some of your harsh words and sat closer to you. He kissed your temple and rubbed your arms
"You're not alone, Y/N" he said gently "I get that you are terrified, especially after Liev's reaction, I think you should follow your heart and decide what to do with the baby, I'll support you, but if you decide to keep it, I'll be by your side as a friend…" he said and felt his heart burning in his chest at the mere thought of all the dreams he's had about you and him having a family together, the ones he always thought that would never come true, but now, destiny being a bitch, seemed to offer him on a silver plate.
"... Or I can be by your side as the father, for the two of you" he gently placed his hand on your stomach, leaving you speechless.
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SECOND VERSION
You looked at Pedro while he focused on the drive home, you were tightening your jaw, still unbelievably pissed at everything that happened. That happened because of him, by the way.
The way Liev stormed out of your home after punching Pedro a couple of times when he walked on you two. You hated yourself for not resisting him, but how could you? Yes, he was a dick, he had broken your heart but he had showered you in all those stupid love words, which you never believed in, but when he shot you those puppy eyes and you felt your body against his, it was so damn impossible to fight back. If you concentrated hard enough, you could still feel parts of your body tingling, a longing sensation on your lower stomach, the warmth and that funny pressure on your core. Pedro was addictive and you were afraid of letting yourself go.
If such a scene hadn't happened, you could've just told him to go home, and preferably reminded him to never come back into your life, but after how violent things got with Liev, you agreed maybe it would be safer to spend the night at Pedro's.
You weren't in love with Liev but you two were having a pretty nice affair, it was satisfying on both ends and you guys were having fun. If once again, weren't for Pedro's intermission, you would've had some nice dinner and would end up in bed. Of course, you could also end up in Pedro's bed, but no matter how much your physical side ached for it, you wouldn't give in, he was still the same guy who left you in the middle of a party to go home by yourself so he could have his way with some skank. And he was still the same guy who got you going in a makeout session that earned you the end of your affair and a threat.
But then, you looked at Pedro, the way he drove focused, though you could see his face already bruising. Even if he'd cleaned up the blood, you knew that wouldn't look very good in the morning.
"C-can we stop?" You asked him, breaking the silence as you pointed at the drive-thru burger place just a few meters away.
He raised his eyebrow, letting a small groan of pain "really? Are you hungry, Y/N?" He asked and you groaned in response, not caring at all
"You ruined my dinner, it's the least you can do" you gritted your teeth, though you didn't want to admit the whole reason why you wanted to make that stop wasn't the burger nor the fries, you were actually thinking of the extra portion of ice you ordered. And as soon as you got it, you got your jacket out, poured the ice on your sleeve and made a very lame ice pad, but it was the only thing you could do. You gently placed it on Pedro's face, listening to his ounce of pain and couldn't help but let out a chuckle, which didn't go unnoticed by the man.
"What's so funny?" He asked, feeling a little annoyed.
"You sound just like a kid, come on Pedrito, you're stronger than that" you couldn't help yourself but let out another chuckle and feel surprise to see him smiling as well.
"You're right, mariposa, I should take it like a man, just like I did to protect you and I would do it a hundred times more" he extended his arm and took some stranded hair off your face. The man went serious again and looked at you "I'm sorry, I really am. I know I fucked things up for you, I couldn't control myself when I found your little card, it moved me, it made me believe you still had feelings for me, but I don't regret doing what I did, as I will have another thing to cherish about you for the rest of my life, and that at least we know that guy isn't good enough for you" he honestly said it.
"I mean, I know you think I'm not good for you either, but now you can see you deserve better, princesa" he said and leaned in, kissing your lips one last time again. He gently took your hands off his face and started the car, driving home.
You spent the rest of the trip quiet, your heart tightening in your chest as you replayed this last moment with you, there were so many things you wanted to tell him, so many times you wished you'd just think to hell with everything else and surrender to your passion, but you stopped yourself. You had to be strong.
You trusted your gut, and it always told you to be wary of Pedro, things had never been easy between the two of you, why would it start being easy now?
You knew you'd taken the correct decision when you both got inside and you found the skank from the gala sitting on his couch. She didn't look that great without her attire and scandalous makeup on, but you could see the appeal why a man would want her.
You immediately went serious and stared at Pedro, who seemed confused as well.
"Well, you never called, never replied to my texts, so I had to come over, Pedro," the woman said before either of you could do it.
"Listen, Melissa, we don't have anything going on, it was a one time thing, and it's over…" he stopped mid sentence the moment Melissa got up and took off her coat.
Her round bump was visible thanks to the very tight sweater she was wearing.
"Oh yeah? Well, you should've thought of that before using me as a cum dumpster, Pedro, because I'm pregnant"
_____
A/N: now it's your turn to choose: which plot do you want in the story? As the rest will be written accordingly.
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hoes4hoseok · 1 year
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enhypen as folklore
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i enjoyed writing this so so so much and i had forgotten how much i liked writing these! the last few i churned out from a sense of obligation but i had a lot of fun with this one :) i hope you like it!
ni-ki as my tears ricochet
"cursing my name, wishing i stayed, look at how my tears ricochet"
i'm so sorry for this...we sure are starting with a bang because the lyric "i can go anywhere i want, just not home" physically makes me ache when i'm thinking about ni-ki 😭
1. he's literally far from home irl & 2. if you were with ni-ki...he'd feel like home & any end to the relationship would make you feel lost
overall, i just associate that type of hurt with ni-ki (yikes🤧💔)
jay as mirrorball
"i'm still on that tightrope, i'm still tryin' everything to get you laughing at me"
oh my goodness jay is such a mirrorball.
i'm not saying that he's desperate for attention or that he doesn't get any, (that's not what the song describes, anyways) but rather that he's trying. his best.
i get it if you don't understand the vision at first glance but after i gave it some thought i can see it so clearly
jungwon as seven
"we can be pirates, then you won't have to cry, or hide in the closet"
this song is so sweet & innocent in how it describes a childhood perspective of things & how simple we thought problems were then
i think that jungwon maintains a little bit of that innocent optimism even though he's older now :)
what really seals the deal for me is that he's the leader & literally solves problems for the group all the time (presumably)
i don't mean that he solves them like a child would, but the nostalgic comfort that the song brings is similar to the comfort i feel you'd get talking to jungwon 🤧
jake as august
"august slipped away into a moment in time 'cause it was never mine"
jake is wouldn't hurt you on purpose, & i think that goes without saying because he seems like such a sweetheart
but man, if you catch him at a vulnerable moment when his heart resides with someone else...he will break. your. heart.
the whole idea of not being able to call the end of a relationship what it is in your heart because you were never really together & he never really cared the way you did...CHILLS. terrifying. (my heart goes out to those who have experienced that irl, i'm so sorry).
jake fits the idea because i think he's trustworthy. like,, he could smile & you'd probably be sold (no offense)
again, at the end of the day, he didn't mean to hurt you. maybe that's what hurts most 👊
heeseung as illicit affairs
"you know damn well, for you, i would ruin myself a million little times"
i've always heard this song in two ways: a very literal sense of having a physical affair in secret && a more emotional version of it
personally, i can picture myself getting my heart broken by heeseung in both senses! might just be me though 😀
the thing is, he seems so charming & falling fast for him would be so easy that if you did, it's very possible that he wouldn't fall in the same way you did (i'm crying the song has been playing on loop for ten minutes now)
i was originally gonna give this one to jay & mirrorball to heeseung!! lmk what you think
sunoo as betty
"the only thing i wanna do is make it up to you"
sunoo would 100% be willing to serenade his apology...that being said, i do not think he's a cheater!
i feel like if he hurt you he'd want to make it up to you & apologize at the same time instead of hoping you just take the apology alone...like this man will make you feel WORTH IT
AGAIN he'd never cheat though ✋ (i think) but if he made you feel bad he's gonna fix it,, he isn't leaving you feeling like an old cardigan under someone's bed
for the record, i'm a 'betty takes james back' truther though.
sunghoon as the lakes
"i'm setting off, but not without my muse, no, not without you"
i am so passionate about preaching how this song & sunghoon are perfect for each other EEK
i love assigning songs about heartbreak to sunghoon because i just see him as a heartbreaker (whoops) but whoever he DOES end up with (if anyone) is one lucky mf
the idea of "all you need is each other" makes me melt because it's so so so romantic
it's not realistic for all couples & that's okay but i can see sunghoon wanting that kind of relationship someday :)
but beyond that he's also private & not very social (by his own description) so he just generally seems like he'd resonate with it 🥰
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kayleezra · 7 months
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Some Strangers (Part 3 to Someone Else) // (Marcus Pike x GN!Reader)
Word Count: 3219 Warnings:  not even proofread in the slightest! I’m letting yall read this rawdawg Summary: Last part babes! This is it, the grand finale of angst! Good luck to you all and sorry for any emotional turmoil this series may have caused you 😌
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Marcus’s POV
I was offering her a life, a future, with me. Because I needed to fill the void in my heart, a void the shape of you. I wanted Teresa to fit void and I tried to make her fit but she didn’t and she knew she didn’t she knew she was competing with someone else, someone who wasn’t even around anymore. So she left, I don’t blame her, I’ve become a version of myself I hate. I destroyed what I had with you for a false future, a future that was built with you. I was selfish, I am selfish, I saw something new and shiny and thought it’d fulfill the future I had with you but that was the problem. The future I wanted was only possible with you. I not only ruined that but dragged another woman into this mess as well. She’ll be fine, Teresa was with me as a distraction from Patrick, an attraction that couldn’t be ignored. Now she’s with the man she wanted and I’m alone. I deserve the ache and pain I’m feeling, the heavy guilt that sits on my shoulders, I hate what I did and who I became. 
I was able to start anew in Washington. The pain never left me but no one knew my horrific actions, the man who had been divorced once and later left his soulmate for a woman he barely knew all because she was new and exciting. I went to work and lived my life day-to-day quite ordinarily. Never socialized, I couldn’t hide my pain well enough to socialize or make friends. But this false sense of security came to a screaming halt when I was told I’d be returning to California for a case. There I’d face Teresa, who was happy with Patrick and the city where I made my biggest mistake. 
As much as I hated the idea of going my heart leapt at the chance. You were there, I’d be close to you. I could visit you. I could, but I won’t. I know you don’t want to see me. When I think of you I’m reminded of how amazing you are and how much I love you but for you, I remind you of pain and heartbreak, that anyone can leave no matter how much you love them. I’m not just a ghost in your life but a haunting, a poltergeist. My actions haunt you every day, have changed your view of the world and yourself in the worst way possible, I’ve instilled fear in you. 
I’ve arrived at my old office, I’m not working with Teresa’s team but God isn’t kind enough to spare me entirely.
“Can I help you?” an all too familiar voice asks, breaking me from the report I was filling out.
I turn to see him, Patrick Jane, the man Teresa left me for, the man she wanted me to be.
“Jane.”
“Mike… Hello,” he welcomes awkwardly, surprised at my presence, understandable. 
“I’m uh here consulting on a case, was a last-minute assignment,” I explain, avoiding the elephant in the room.
“Beard looks good.”
He’s starting to piss me off, I don’t know what he wants, if he wants me to beg for information about Teresa and make him feel like more of a man but he’s already won. He’s got the girl of his dreams; Teresa, and I have lost mine; you.
“It’s for an undercover thing,” I pause, he wants to acknowledge the elephant in the room, “so, you and her?” I finally ask.
He makes his way closer, “Yeah, um, I’m sorry we’d- we didn’t intend for it to happen like this.” He almost seemed genuinely apologetic, something I didn’t expect, I thought I’d come back here a hated man, not a pitied one. “I know the last thing on her mind was hurting you.”
The words hurt because it's exactly what I did to you, unintentionally hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you.
“I know that,” I respond quickly, trying to get this over with as soon as possible, trying to forget the pain I feel while here. My eyes dart around the room looking for an escape but there is none. 
I take a breath, Teresa and Patrick, the perfect couple, will probably live a picturesque life like the one you and I planned together before I burned it to the ground. 
“So do you have a plan?” I ask, thinking about the future I promised you and then tried to force upon Teresa. My tone and demeanour have become more hostile, not at Jane but rather at myself for losing the future I wanted.
“I- I don’t really understand,” Jane plays dumb, he wants 
“Well, I was offering her a life,” a life I planned and built with you, that I wanted to fulfill with you, “a home, a family if she wanted it,” a home I wanted to come home to, to see knick knacks you’d decorate the place with, a home where you’d be at ease. A family we made together, maybe kids running around with sticky fingers or just gathered friends and loved ones around our dining room table. “A future,” that only has meaning with you in it. “Have you thought about any of that?” Does Patrick think about the very real future he has with Teresa? Because I think about the future I could have had with you every damn day.
“I haven’t thought that far ahead yet,” Patrick answers. 
He has a real potential future with Teresa, they’ve known each other for years, and he hasn’t thought about what their future may look like, while I still dream about what our future could have been. I look back when I first started thinking about the future with you in it and panicked because I thought I was moving too fast and that if I voiced my thoughts I’d scare you away. Little did I know that you were thinking the same thing, secrets we each kept until one fateful night months down the line. 
If Patrick doesn’t think about his future… what is it he wants from her? “Well… what’re you offering her?” I ask quizzically, confused about how a couple can seem to love each other so furiously and not think about their future together. Maybe it’s because Jane has never had to worry about his future romantically, he believes people will always be banging at his door to get a taste, “I mean other than Patrick Jane,” I add with venom, angry at the situation I find myself in in comparison to Jane. 
We don’t get any further as Teresa’s lone voice pierces the silent room.
 “Hey,” she says politely announcing her presence, clearing looking for Jane. 
Jane excuses himself, passing Teresa while whispering some cute pet name. Teresa scans the room nervously as I approach, wanting to talk without listening ears hearing, she has the same question Jane did when he realized it was me.
“What’re you doing here?” she asks.
“I’m consulting on a case, just had to fill out a deposition,” I finish with a sad sigh. When I look at Teresa all I see is the pain in your eyes when I told you about her. Before, when I saw her and you disappeared from my mind, now? You’re all I can think about.
I don’t let her prolong the conversation, “anyway, it was good to see you, Teresa.”
“You too, Marcus,” she says meekly. 
I acknowledge Jane with a curt nod and go to leave, happy to get out of the office. I'm about to reach the doorway and breathe a sigh of relief when Teresa calls out, “They’re still here,” she says with some urgency. 
I stop in my tracks but don’t turn, I don’t know what she means yet or if she’s even talking to me, but then she says your name. I haven’t heard your name out loud in what feels like millennia, it’s sharp yet refreshing like ice. You don’t just live in my head, you’re still real, you still have a life to live that isn’t the fantasy in my head. I turn to look at Teresa, having so many questions I want to ask, to pick every bit of information she has about you but I don’t get the chance.
“I think it’d be good if you saw each other. Maybe buried the hatchet,” she says with a reassuring nod. Then she goes to the nearest table and begins writing on a scrap piece of paper. “I think you need it, the both of you,” she adds before joining Jane and leaving. The paper has a phone number. Your phone number.
– Second Person POV, Past –
Life had been… boring… grey without Marucs. You weren’t miserable, you’d found a new normal, a new baseline. You weren’t happy or sad, but not numb or robotic either… it was like you were just going through the days letting the wind blow you wherever but you also weren’t relaxed as that might suggest. You were in an in-between, neither here nor there. Until you’d gotten a text.
Your phone buzzed in the morning while you were getting ready for the day. The number wasn’t in your contact list but the message made it clear who it was from.
‘I thought you should know that Marcus and I have split. I’m telling you because he’s still living with the ghost of you, maybe you guys can work things out. -Teresa’
It felt like the text was supposed to bring you relief but it didn’t. It dwarfed you back to the melancholy feeling you were drawing in when Marcus first told you about Teresa. You didn’t think this was your chance to get him back, you didn’t feel bad that Marcus had made a mistake and still wanted you. You just felt small… your emotions were so big that you felt small. 
You didn’t know what to say to her, you didn’t owe her anything but she wasn’t at fault for anything either. You settle on something that doesn’t focus on you, on what happened.
‘I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you. I wish you guys could’ve been happy.’
The text is heartbreakingly true. Marcus hurt you and you still loved him, always would, but because of that, you wanted him happy even if the cost was you. You accepted living a miserable life while watching him and Teresa get married, have kids, and grow old together, because at least then Marcus would still exist in your world even if you didn’t exist in his.
Nothing more came out of that text. You’re thankful for that. You got to truck on in your grey life and not be set back or thrown in a whirlwind.
– Second Person POV, Present –
As more time passed you healed. Your smile became less fake. You didn’t forget about Marcus but in a way… you did. Marcus didn’t rule over you as a gloomy cloud anymore. This was not a result thanks to you and you alone, you credit your therapist for a lot of it. Even though your therapist would tell you that you’re the one who sought therapy, that you’re the one who kept up with it, that you’re the one who did the work. And you 100% are that person, you are to thank them while also acknowledging the help their guidance provided.
You felt new like you’d broken out of the dead shell Marcus left you in. You’re on the way home from a decent day when you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket, you glance at it and see a number you don’t recognize. At first, you think it to be a scam but then your eyes skim the message and you know it’s not. You also know that whatever is within the text while requires your full attention so you pocket it and try not to overthink it for the time being. 
You’re happy to get home, it finally feels like your safe space, the place where you're most comfortable. So once you drop your things you debate whether you settle in or read the text. You decide to settle in, you’ll feel better, you want to read it when the rest of the day and done. You unpack your bag and change while trying not to let your mind catch fire with anticipation.
Finally, you sit down and open the text. 
‘I know this is random and we have no relation or obligations to one another but Marcus is in town. Patrick and I ran into him in the office, he’s in for a case. I’m not here to tell you that he looks miserable because he doesn’t but he’s… I don’t know, grown. And I know his actions still haunt him. I hope the two of you can meet, even just for coffee, to lay everything to rest.’
Her message is cordial and not pushy. It’s dawned on you since her last message that she’s so eager for you and Marcus to bury the hatchet because she saw his aftermath. You might have healed but he might not have, he might still have something to get off his chest. You don’t owe him anything to help him heal or clear his conscious. You don’t pity him or feel sympathy but you do still love and care about him, maybe not the same way you once did, but you still do nonetheless. You let out a loud sigh before you begin typing.
‘Do you have his number?’
‘No but I know how we can do this’
A little bit later you get a text from Teresa that tells you that you and Marcus will meet at a nearby lounge after work. From what she tells you, you think it sounds all too inconspicuous, like he’s being kidnapped but after some further discussion, it was the easiest way without getting anyone in trouble.
A few days later you find yourself putting more effort into your look. You tell yourself it isn’t for Marcus and it isn’t, you’re not trying to win him back with your looks, you just want to put your best foot forward with him. A small part of you is even excited, the old you that’s still with Marcus. Another louder voice is terrified. You think of him and worry that all you’ll be able to see and think about is how awful he left you, broke you. You put effort in to try and drown out the voices as well, you can’t feel bad when you look good right?
You make you’re way to the lounge at the set time, and see Marcus seated alone. You go to join him, your heart is in your throat and you suddenly feel nauseous. When Marcus sees you his eyes widen and he freezes for a moment before abruptly standing from his chair. He whispers your name in disbelief and his shocked reaction tells you that Teresa didn’t tell him you’d be showing up. 
“Marcus,” a beat of silence, “I take it Teresa didn’t tell you I was coming?”
“N-no, no, she uh- said something about an agent and I meeting for a case, I-”
You can’t help but laugh at how nervous he is. You finally nod and explain, “yeah, no. That’s not what’s happening, umm, I was told you were in town and I was hoping we could meet and-” and what? I don’t know. 
“Of course, yeah-” he agrees. 
You smile, he looks good, he has some facial hair but it suits him. Then you realize that the two of you are standing awkwardly at a table, “guess I’ll take a seat,” you tease yourself. 
Marcus moves and says he’ll help you, “oh no, I got it, don’t worry, sit down,” you reassure. 
Finally, the two of you are seated and there is an awkward silence. Both of you try to start a conversation at the same time.
“Oh, sorry, you go ahead,” the both of you say at the same time. Which ends up in the both of you laughing. 
Marcus feels his heart come to life again when he hears your laugh. He doesn’t realize how much he missed this, misses you. But if he is honest he knows he doesn’t deserve your smile, your laugh, your love. After, what he did he doesn’t deserve you, he doesn’t expect you to want him back either. Life feels more colourful than usual when he sees you but a part of his chest aches because he knows that this is no longer his, all because of him. 
“How have you been?” you ask with a smile.
“Uh, good… I guess”
“You guess?”
“Yeah, I just… there’s been a lot going on between the move and then work and- you know, just busy,”
You nod solemnly, “I’m sorry about you and Teresa by the way. I really did want it to work out for you,”
Marcus can’t help but look away, filled with guilt.
“Yeah I don’t think I wanted wanted it to work with her…” he says quietly. 
“What?” you ask with your brows furrowed. 
Marcus looks away and clearly becomes nervous, “I didn’t want Teresa as Teresa. I… we got together and all I wanted was for her to be you. That… that was what ended our relationship, I was trying to make her into someone she wasn’t because she isn’t who I wanted.”
Oh, you think. “Oh…” you say aloud upon realization. 
Marcus nods guiltily, “yeah… I hurt you and dragged another woman into the mess all for… something I still can’t quite understand.”
“Marcus… I’m sorry but we can’t- I’m just not-,” you sigh, “we can’t just get back together,” you explain painfully, both because you are reminded of the pain he caused and because it feels like you’re saying ‘good-bye’ to him again.
“Oh no no! I wasn’t implying that- I just, I needed you to know that… there was nothing ever wrong with you. You had everything I wanted and for some reason… I tried finding that in another woman…” Marcus explains. 
You nod, a heavy silence covering the both of you. 
“So are you staying or going to be around for a while?” you ask Marcus curiously. 
“I’m not sure, until the case is solved for sure but… afterwards… I’m not quite sure what I’m doing,” Marcus scoffs at himself.
“Well… don’t stay away because of me.” you say softly, “I was able to find my peace and you deserve that too… and maybe if you’re going to be around for a while we can find time like this every now and again, and just get the closure we both need.”
Marcus’s eyes light up at the thought of seeing you again and his chest aches at the thought of being so close to you, living in the same city, but not being able to love you how he wants. He looks at you and sees a new person, a bright, smiling, lively person who isn’t letting their past haunt them and Marcus knows that that means the door for him is closed. It hurts but he doesn’t fault you, you deserve it and like you said, maybe he does too.
(A/N: don't forget to join my taglist or just let me know if you wish to be added since not everyone tagged is in my taglist!)
Taglist: @spideysimpossiblegirl @littlemisspascal @writer-darling @avengetheunnatural @currentobsessionrabbithole @harriedandharassed @alberta-sunrise @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @jediknight122 @thirddeadlysin @kirsteng42 @theredwritingwitch @wildemaven @tuquoquebrute @louderfortheback @trey-18 (also tagged those that were so kind about the first/second part!)
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ultraviolet-psyche · 1 year
Text
Dead On Arrival (F!Chrobin ver.)
Rating: T
Pairings: F!Robin/Chrom, implied Alfonse/Kiran
Characters: Chrom, Kiran & F!Robin
Warnings: Angst; basically all the warnings you'd expect from a Risen King Chrom fic
Summary: Chrom, King of the Risen and the Fell Dragon's most trusted servant, is summoned to Askr.
Word Count: 995
A/N: Once again, this is mostly just some pronoun changes and some slight adjustments in description. Robin doesn't actually appear that much here, so...
Original M!Chrobin ver.
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Light. Sunshine. Bright. Too bright. Clear skies. Stone floors. Clean air.
A hooded figure. A voice. Unintelligible speech.
"Who calls me?" He sounds as haggard as he looks.
More talking. It's louder. His name? Oh. Yes. His name.
"My name is… Chrom…" It hurts to speak; he's long used to it. "I am the king of corpses. Where I go… despair follows…"
He blinks a few times until his eyes adjust to the harsh light and the blur of colours and shapes in his line of vision form a clear image. The stranger before him is smiling beneath their hood, as though perhaps they're used to fallen former heroes being dumped into their peaceful world. Strange.
"Good to meet you, Chrom," they say. "I'm Kiran, the Hero Summoner. You have just been summoned to the Kingdom of Askr. I understand how confusing this must be for you, so allow me to explain."
They start talking about things that Chrom hardly has the energy to comprehend. The aforementioned Askr. A contract. The Order of Heroes. Wait. That's not right. Chrom isn't a hero. He has no business being here. He can't help these people change their fates.
Go! Tell them! Do not let them suffer our same fate!
His heart, or what remains of it, still aches, sometimes, and it aches now as he thinks back to the last words Robin has ever spoken to him. Robin had momentarily seized control of her own body to tell Chrom to save this strange world that called for him. Why, after all this time, does she trust him to avert the inevitable? Him, a broken corpse, used as his master's weapon to destroy all that he knows and loves, unable to protect a blasted thing. Why – how – has Robin not lost all hope? He wishes he could see her one last time, if only to ask, why him? Why the Risen King?
But, as his master had reminded him time and time again, nothing will ever change, because fate is always set in stone.
To make matters worse, Kiran is now prattling on about alternate universes and different versions of Chrom and the other Shepherds. Different Chroms, different Robins, different Lucinas… different versions of his master. Gods. A world with multiple Grimas is doomed no matter how many Chroms, Robins and Lucinas are there to fight them. The despaired world he's left behind can't even handle one Fell Dragon, so what hope does this world have?
Chrom soon realises that Kiran has stopped rambling. Their hood obscures their eyes, but it doesn't conceal their worried frown. "Is something the matter?"
"Your world… will fall to ruin…" is all that Chrom has the heart to say.
"Oh." There's a brief pause. "Uhh, okay, that's good to know, I guess? Anyway, how about we go to the castle? I have some friends I'd like you to meet."
Chrom would much rather find a secluded area and stay there forever, but the whims of a Risen are of no one's concern. He has no choice but to play along.
---
It's surreal to travel through active, populated villages, packed with buildings fully-intact and dozens of villagers going about their day – moreso when Chrom feels their stares burning into his pallid skin like a flame meeting parchment. The sound of youths laughing and playing in the warm afternoon sun reminds him of his own children – or, rather, his children in a world that allowed them a proper, happy childhood. His heart aches again. He's a failure at many things, but his failure as a father stings like nothing else.
Askr is like a fairytale kingdom straight out of a children's book. The weather is picture-perfect, the birds are singing a sweet tune, and the closer Chrom and Kiran get to the castle, the more magnificent it becomes. It's the polar opposite of Ylisse in every way. Of course his master had no qualms about sending him here; it's a persistent reminder of everything he's lost.
Kiran chats with Chrom about the friends he'll be meeting as they both advance toward the castle. Chrom is only half-listening, merely responding with the occasional grunt, but he does register their names – Anna, Alfonse and Sharena. He notices that Kiran talks about Alfonse in a manner that's more… distinct. The words they use when speaking about this boy are painfully familiar – "other half", "special bond", "bound by ties stronger than fate". Something twists painfully in the depths of Chrom's stomach as bittersweet memories resurface, but he shoves them down, reminding himself that Kiran and Alfonse don't have much time left, anyway.
Once the castle entrance enters his view, Chrom notices a smattering of people, grouped into pairs or triplets, hanging about and socialising with one another. He wonders if these must be some of the Heroes Kiran was talking about.
With one glance to the left, he has to wonder no more. The sight before him is enough to stop him dead in his tracks.
Standing close to each other, adjacent to a large fountain, are a man and a woman, both dressed in light colours and each carrying a bouquet of flowers. The man, who's sporting blue hair and the Brand of the Exalt on his left shoulder, takes a moment to gently adjust the flowers nestled in his companion's ivory pigtails. The woman smiles and mouths a thank-you before leaning in for a peck on the lips.
They are so absorbed in each other's presence that they take no notice of Chrom, the Risen King, looking on in agony. He wants to cry, but he can't summon any tears. If only… If only…
Kiran lets out a long, sad sigh beside him. "I'm sorry you have to see that, Chrom. Come, let's go inside – Alfonse and the others are waiting."
Chrom tears his gaze away from his other self and his other half as he trudges behind Kiran, mourning the happy future that could've been.
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ghost-mafia · 11 months
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His long dark eyelashes rest so perfectly against the smooth plain of his cheek, beautiful to me but not to himself. His fluttery, often-frustrsted hands are at rest, beautiful too, thin and long fingered, capable and romantic, like a piano player or a poet, and
the poetry he writes is perfect to me, too, in the way that car crashes and motor cycle accidents are perfect, and somehow just as thrilling to read as it was to car-crash my car again and again before i knew him.
Our hearts are dark together, pressed close through our chests, like twins in a womb, mirroring trauma and love and vicious rage and retaliation and pain and more love and pure sex.
With no rules, we would destroy one another. Or we would survive one another and get better, quit being junkie skum fux and live a normal life together, and heal somehow from all the awful, soul-ruining shit that made us how we are, the shit that makes us perfect for each other, with a sense of massive, life-shattering gravity pulling us closer together until a kind of singilarity occurs.
The twitch and ache for closeness, the agony of yearning so completely for the other person. Comfort is telling myself that he was there with me this whole time: the frailty of getting sick and almost dying, the frailty of being vulnerable in front of someone despite knowing they could irrepairably damage you by you just trusting them with ur nakedness.
How i have cried. How i longed for him. Its the way i knew him in my mind beofre i ever met him, how i wished for him all those years i was alone alone alone, especially alone with other people, the way emptiness hurt so bad that i had to let it out, make it into an image on my skin. I love every single slice and scratch that ever marched across his skin, each one is a demarcation of a singular moment that hurt, just like my tattoos, but rendered in scar tissue...
We are inverted negatives of each other, incomplete without the other, and how it made me cry to realize that id never been a complete person until he fit up against me like an answer to my whole life's questioning, like a puzzle piece that has only one interlocking piece that reveals a new and beautiful picture: all the possibility of the world suddenly seen in startling clarity, like telling the truth for the first fucking time. Oh, i thought, you stupid, stupid girl- SO this is what love feels like, real visceral, in the flesh amd bone. I want to give him life but my body rebels, rejects my want, wont fulfill my wishes. In this i would have the opportunity to grow and become the version of myself that i was always waiting to become- a refugee from an alternate dimension, a pirate with no gold and no wind fuckin sail with, wasted years rotting and falling away, shedding all that pain of not being together. It agonizes me that he was there all along, a familar stranger i would come to love so dearly that it sucks the breath out of my chest.
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feather-dancer · 1 year
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Rules: Pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the midpoint, pick a line (or a few), and share it! Then tag people!
Tagged by @writerriderdirtythirties
Sticking entirely to my main account for this for obvious reasons. Started with a coin flip for fandom then continued by alternating, RNG has been used for which fic:
1. Miraculous - I'm the kind who's always falling (Lukadrien)
I’m so sorry I’ve committed a cardinal sin
Someone else’s music got me with an earworm
:(
2. Tales of Arcadia - In the media spotlight, Of makeup and Merlin (Zouxie)
“For doing that the stupidest way possible? I’ve seen way worse on the catwalk.”
3. Miraculous - Two, Three, Four (Lukadrigaminette)
Marinette and Luka both suspected threats from his père were involved along with the blond’s own unfolding self-crisis so they talked to one another as much as to him because communication was key to keeping a bridge open.
4. Tales of Arcadia - Savouring Memories
An ache awakens in his chest that had laid dormant, one that had missed the air of casualness that sometimes could exist between them as rare as it could be and something that only could happen because they both share a magical gift helped bridge the gap heritage created by their experiences being so far apart it that would otherwise be impossible to surmount.
5. Miraculous - Lion’s Den
He sounds almost wistful while trying to make it himself, struggling a couple of times thanks to the gloves under the plate causing it to slip before managing a far cruder version of his sibling’s.
“Not much of a cat admittedly the one we use now is far better. Stubby fingers and all that.”
6. Tales of Arcadia - A Heart of Glass, The perfect bait
“As it stands Camelot is no longer safe for any being of magic, even a supposed Master now turns on their apprentices with a drawn sword.” 
7. Miraculous - The sun has set on Adrien Agreste (A lukadrinette clusterfuck)
I don’t feel dead apart from the embarrassment wanting to take me out I mean can you believe him?!
8. Tales of Arcadia - As long as there are stars in the sky, Falling into wonderland (Zouxie)
“And here I was about to suggest getting a crowbar for a different reason.”
“… Zoe, I love you very much but I would not trust you with one in the current circumstances.”
9. Miraculous - Tick Tock (Can you still hear me?) (Liluka)
“Figure out how to bite instead of gnawing my neck like I’m a living corn cob and then I’ll consider the generous offer of yours. So, what brings you all the way out to now if you’re not just trying to sponge snacks off me as you claim?”
10. Tales of Arcadia - These thoughts of you (Zouxie)
"This is from there yes, a rare survivor of the ruins left behind one might say. Perhaps it entertains the nostalgia a voice cannot?" The wizard’s expression softens to something akin to reminiscing on unwelcome thoughts with eyes for the first time quite unwilling to meet her own.
"For myself, perhaps I too was indeed once upon a time but it is not the sort of talk I feel comfortable addressing at present. Do forgive the disappointment I may cause with such a vague answer."
Could have gone for the meme collection but nooo, At least it went for Zouxie a couple times that pleases me immensely.
Tagging whoever!
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katerinacherie · 1 year
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You came when I needed to be saved
You brushed my eyes with rosè
And complimented me in sweet ways
You cupped my face and stared into my gaze
Told me we will be ok
Galaxies collide
Meeting again is remembrance
I drawled opening up
Fears escaped from the lips that kiss your face
You cracked walls around my icy exterior
My heart pains
I need to be defrosted in trusting embrace
Crushed between choices
My brain aches
You’re a vortex of experiences embraced
So much experience—so new in loving me
No energy to deal with my locked gates
Shudder with a chill of seeming less than
Your eyes darken
No, I’m not the same
You don’t know me and you want me
I don’t know you and I want you
Are you searching for a love to call home
Love can’t be mediocre
Entangled hearts, messy minds is soul bind
Soft kissing stealing bits of waves
Your lips soft in graze
Your tongue crashing waves burst through me
My tongue needs to taste, to steal
I need to explore your insides
To run my tongue across the gums
That hold your pearly whites in place
See the thing is I have baggage
And I’ve learned what I need
The lessons only complicate
What could be love is
Never enough and always too much
Holding you, holding me
Confuses my brain
Eyes telling more then we’ll say
You are my prison and my escape
I think too much
Sharing it all should be a mistake
Have you tried really loving
Is it always obsession with an idea of someone
The what if
The unknown
Do you see it’s a mistake
Post acting with haste
I know that my words ruin
Words
Destroy
Everything good
One wrong phrase and I’m in dismay
I put my foot in my mouth
Regret settling in my lava core
Couldn’t kept my mouth shut
You say I’m sweet
You haven’t heard what goes on in my mind
Your soul is perfect to me
And still I ask for action
Flowers
Loyalty
Gifts
Coffee
Dates
Maybe that’s wrong if that’s not you
And unfortunately I won’t accept other than
Drowning in my own trauma
I don’t want to cause you any
You say you don’t want to hurt me
You already have
You want to make me happy
Listen with intent of learning
Can I tell you about my passions
And will you love them through me
Because one sided convo is what you’ve had
I won’t stay entertained with that
I yearn for healthy, wholesome
A nurtured growing love
Do I make you happy
Sometimes
Do you miss the version of me you created in your head
Before I tore it to shreds
You only stay if you’re happy
I stay until the bitter end
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gracefvlslove · 2 years
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I can't help but continue to miss it. The love I still have for you truly is irrevocable, and there's nothing I can do to even attempt to mend it. The incandescent glow of the love that the two of us shared in the late fall and throughout the winter is something that I will cherish forevermore. I so heavily crave the insurmountable warmth which you once incited within me, the way you made me bloom, akin to the roses that once surrounded my bedroom window throughout my formative years. I have the burning desire to loathe you for the pain you so mercilessly bestowed upon me within your sudden departure, but I can't even begin to bring myself to hate you. I still continue to gaze within the windows of our love, even though you boarded them up on your own behalf long ago. I gave you everything I could muster up from within the porcelain heart of mine you so recklessly dropped, yet I still feel as if you did nothing more than tolerate the love I gave you during the latter half of our calamitous love affair. I remember the way you made me feel, your Midas touch still remaining, even now. I was the deepest of blues, and you still found a way to paint me golden, to make me beautiful whilst I was at my worst. I still continue to adore you and the contrarian ideologies you were always so vocal about. I often wonder if you get glimpses of the past in the way that I still do. Do you miss me in the way I miss you? Do you ache the way I ache? From the last I've heard, you're changing for the better. I've changed too, you know. I've attempted to reinvent myself, attempted to become the best version of myself. I've killed the old me, but I'm unsure as to whether or not the new me is any better. I can still recall the sound of your voice, piercing through the dark of my bedroom as I'd fall asleep to the murmur of you telling me how much you loved me, how you wanted a life with me. I know that you're long gone, and it all might've just been some sick twisted game for you, but it all was real to me. The excruciating pain you've put me through just gave me purpose to grow. You and I both know that I'd ruin myself for you as many times as you’d ask; I'd rip myself to shreds just to be able to love you once again.
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blaving · 3 months
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dude i really cant tell you how tired i am. i feel so uncomfortable in my own skin and i look like a mess. i hate myself for everything and i dislike being around people. i ruin every relationship i get in and its not normal. no one should experience the pain ive been in and i dont want anyone to ever feel like they aren’t enough for me. i have such a big heart and im really sweet but that gets abused and taken advantage of. sometimes i wish someone would get me and actually like me for me. not just looks or whats in my pants. someone who isnt afraid to post me or be touchy and all of that. someone who loves to be around me 24/7. someone who is just a female version of me and shares the same interests. i wanna be enough for everyone but then i get slammed back down like a dog. i wanna show someone true love and heal them from their past. i will try and continue trying. if i could focus on one person i know who it would be. but i don’t think i have that chance anymore. in another universe i wouldn’t be this person. i would be a person someone can respect and love. i wanna get back on my feet my everything keeps going to shit. my birthday is in 2 months and i don’t even think ill make it until then. i dont have anyone anymore and its just myself and me only. ill try and try until i give up.
my body trembles everyday and i hate it. i can barely walk anymore without catching my breath. i wish it would stop but it dont. my mental state is so shit rn. i dont wanna do anything but be with that one person. my heart truly aches from everything and everyone. im never enough and i dont think i will be. i wanna be saved and be shown something that i need. which is love. i wanna be the only person theyre focused on. i dont want them to have alot of guy friends or they ignore me. i just wanna be heard and seen by others.
but would someone love me like she did? no. never.
when i looked behind me today and saw her walking home by herself. it made me wanna cry. i felt so horrible.
i think its my time to go. im crying holding this necklace you gave me in my hand.
i hurt myself and its my fault. im a terrible person and i deserve the depths of hell.
i cant even tell my parents. i hope you didn’t tell yours yet. i miss you.
i wanna solve things out sm.
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littlelovelymemes · 3 years
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𝐚𝐬𝐤  𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞 :    𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒆𝒐𝒖𝒔  𝒒𝒖𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔
‘  i’ll  find  you  again ,  wherever  we  end  up  next .  ’
‘  the  enormity  of  my  desire  disgusts  me .  ’
‘  please ,  one  more  kiss  in  the  kitchen  before  we  turn  the  lights  off .  ’
‘  i’ve  been  lost  but  i’m  here  now .  you’re  the  only  person  who  has  ever  been  able  to  find  me .  ’
‘  almost  dead  yesterday ,  maybe  dead  tomorrow ,  but  alive ,  gloriously  alive ,  today .  ’
‘  you  are  not  broken .  ’
‘  you  can  love  and  be  loved ,  despite  what  may  feel  like  the  eternally  brutal  nature  of  the  world .  ’
‘  i  did  violence  to  my  own  heart .  ’
‘  will  i  be  forgiven  for  the  sins  i  did  not  commit ,  but  created ?  ’
‘  i  would  never  kiss  anyone  who  doesn’t  burn  me  like  the  sun .  ’
‘  i  would  rather  break  the  world  than  lose  you .  ’
‘  i  think  you  and  i  have  known  each  other  in  a  few  lifetimes .  ’
‘  i  didn’t  know .  i  had  no  idea  how  greedy  my  heart  really  was .  ’
‘  is  that  why  the  idea  of  losing  you  torments  me  so  much ?  ’
‘  how  long  have  i  been  without  you ?  ’
‘  am  i  foolish  for  wanting  this ?  it  will  end  in  flames .  it  always  does .  ’
‘  sorry  about  the  blood  in  your  mouth .  i  wish  it  was  mine .  ’
‘  if  i  love  you ,  is  that  a  fact  or  a  weapon ?  ’
‘  tell  me  how  all  this ,  and  love  too ,  will  ruin  us .  ’
‘  and  you  realize  the  one  person  in  the  world  who  loves  you  isn’t  the  one  you  thought  it  would  be .  ’
‘  it  cannot  be  a  mistake  to  have  cared .  it  cannot  be  an  error  to  have  tried .  it  cannot  be  incorrect  to  have  loved .  ’
‘  finally ,  i  plead  guilty  of  adoring  you .  ’
‘  a  child  weaned  on  poison  considers  harm  a  comfort .  ’
‘  without  realizing ,  i  find  it  in  myself  that  i  cannot  stop  thinking  about  you .  ’
‘  tomorrow ,  when  i  wake  up ,  i  promise ,  i  will  be  better .  ’
‘  someone  has  to  leave  first .  this  is  a  very  old  story .  there  is  no  other  version  of  this  story .  ’
‘  when  i  imagine  myself ,  i  am  always  leaving .  i  couldn’t  draw  my  own  face  if  god  asked .  ’
‘  do  we  simply  stare  at  what’s  horrible  and  forgive  it ?  ’
‘  i  wanted  to  let  go  of  the  pain  even  though  it  was  the  last  thing  that  felt  alive  from  you .  ’
‘  have  i  endured  loneliness  with  grace ?  ’
‘  i’ll  be  your  slaughterhouse ,  your  killing  floor ,  your  morgue  and  final  resting ,  walking  around  with  this  bullet  inside  me  ‘cause  i  couldn’t  make  you  love  me  and  i  am  tired  of  pulling  your  teeth .  ’
‘  and  then  my  soul  saw  you  and  kind  of  went ,  ‘ oh ,  there  you  are .  i’ve  been  looking  for  you . ’  ’
‘  sometimes  it  feels  like  someone  else  is  wearing  my  body .  ’
‘  i  spent  my  life  arguing  how  i  mattered  until  it  didn’t  matter .  ’ 
‘  who  knew  my  haven  would  be  my  coffin ?  ’
‘  dead  is  the  safest  i’ve  ever  been .  ’
‘  i’ve  never  been  so  alive .  ’ 
‘  you  know  what  i  was  gonna  tell  you  before ,  but  didn’t  have  the  nerve ?  you  got  your  name  written  all  over  me .  i  got  my  name  written  on  you ,  too .  ’ 
‘  you  already  are  something .  you  always  were .  and  you  still  have  time  to  be .  ’
‘  you  know  me  by  heart .  it  infuriates  me  that  you  know  me  by  heart .  ’ 
‘  why  am  i  waiting  for  you ?  hungering  and  thirsting  for  you  in  every  cranny  of  my  soul  and  even  in  my  ribs ?  ’ 
‘  you  came  with  a  handful  of  pain  and  a  smile  which  broke  the  ground  under  my  feet  as  the  earthquake  does  when  two  people  meet .  ’
‘  the  only  good  thing  is  that  i’m  getting  used  to  suffering .  ’
‘  the  return  to  time  was  not  my  choice .  ’
‘  we  are  built  to  live  inside  each  other .  this  means  we  are  built  to  ruin .  ’
‘  time  does  not  bring  relief ;  you  all  have  lied .  ’
‘  time  does  not  know  how  to  keep  our  hopes  safe .  ’
‘  you  needed  me  so  much  that  you  had  to  end  me .  ’
‘  there  are  days  where  i  am  morbidly  in  love  with  you ,  and  this  is  one  of  those  days .  ’
‘  i  know  no  end  to  desiring  you .  ’
‘  i  fear  that  i  am  both  too  much  yet  not  enough .  ’
‘  yes ,  yes ,  yes ,  i  do  like  you .  i  am  afraid  to  say  the  stronger  word .  ’ 
‘  a  heart’s  a  heavy  burden .  ’
‘  life ,  as  i  see  it ,  is  all  about  farewells  rather  than  reunions .  ’
‘  heaven  is  real  and  you  only  had  two  minutes  to  prove  it  to  me .  ’
‘  it  was  already  love .  ’
‘  everyone  desires  love  but  also  finds  it  impossible  to  believe  that  they  deserve  it .  ’
‘  i’ll  love  you  until  i  forget  how  to .  ’
‘  i’ll  love  you  until  i  forget  how  to  and  then  i’ll  fall  like  my  knees  aren’t  already  bruised  from  doing  it  and  i’ll  remember  why  you’re  worth  the  ache .  ’
‘  of  course  i’ll  hurt  you .  of  course  you’ll  hurt  me .  of  course  we’ll  hurt  each  other .  but  this  is  the  very  condition  of  existence .  ’
‘  nothing  makes  me  sadder  and  nothing  makes  me  happier  than  you .  ’
‘  i  love  you  and  i  do  not  want  to  love  you ,  it  is  too  much  and  too  difficult .  ’
‘  grief  is  just  love  with  no  place  to  go .  ’
‘  i  felt  my  life  with  both  my  hands  to  see  if  it  was  there .  ’
‘  you  do  this ,  you  do .  you  take  the  things  you  love  and  you  tear  them  apart .  ’
‘  i  hope  it’s  love .  i’m  trying  really  hard  to  make  it  love .  ’
‘  if  you  touch  me  again  i  might  burn  up  in  the  cold  air .  ’
‘  i  asked  you  not  to  leave  several  times .  ’
‘  i’ve  only  adored  you  lifetimes  ago  and  here  we  are .  it’s  nice  to  see  you  again .  ’
‘  all  time  ever  does  is  pass  and  all  i  ever  do  is  remember .  ’
‘  i  feel  as  though  we  were  never  strangers ,  you  and  i ,  not  even  for  a  moment .  ’
‘  i’d  choose  you ;  in  a  hundred  different  lifetimes ,  in  a  hundred  worlds ,  in  any  version  of  reality ,  i’d  find  you  and  i’d  choose  you .  ’
‘  nothing  about  this  is  soft  but  we  pretend .  ’
‘  maybe  you  and  i  are  just  a  dream .  ’
‘  i  know  you  loved  me  too ,  you  knew  me ,  and  it  gladdens  my  heart .  ’
‘  i  promise  i  shall  never  give  up  and  that  i’ll  die  yelling  and  laughing .  ’
‘  i  don’t  do  anything  with  my  life  except  romanticize  and  decay  with  indecision .  ’
‘  the  world  was  made  so  that  we  could  find  each  other  in  it .  ’
‘  you  don’t  meet  the  people  you  love ,  you  recognize  them .  ’
‘  i  think  you  and  i  have  known  each  other  a  few  lifetimes .  ’
‘  this  body  knows  fear  like  a  front  porch  knows  welcome  --  it  is  always  coming  home .  ’
‘  i  miss  you  more  than  i  remember  you .  ’
‘  if  i  could  have  done  it  all  again ,  i  would  have  loved  you  better .  but  i  could  not  have  loved  you  more .  ’
‘  we  could  have  been  happy .  i  know  that ,  and  it  is  perhaps  the  hardest  thing  to  know .  ’
‘  you  want  a  better  story .  who  wouldn’t ?  ’
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pink02 · 2 years
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Apologize
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Camilo Madrigal x f!reader
Genre: Angst
Summary: Camilo ruined the perfect opportunity for you to get a boyfriend. To all of the boys in town, there was finally someone who got the guts to confess to you but some troublemaker chameleon just had to ruin it.
Trigger warning: None
A/n: This story is like camilo x reader version of the scene where Mirabel wants to makes amends with Isabela but more dramatic.
Part 2 is out! I'm Sorry.
♡♡ Masterlist ♡♡
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It wasn't really his fault when he technically didn't even mean it, right? It was a mishap! Mistakes happen. Its not like he intended to ruin that big mouth's ever so precious serenade for you. Like hell did he even gave a care if that guy would woo you with his cheap moves. He knows you wouldn't get take in just by those jokes.
"[Name]! Look, I'm here trying to be a better bestfriend!" Camilo shouts as he was trying to catch up to you. "[Name]!"
You kept on ignoring his calls as you stomped your way to your room. You were beyond upset to say the least as you entered your room with Camilo still tailing you from behind. "It's like my prima would say, can't we just hug it out?"
You turned your head back at the boy with a glare when you saw him right by the door with a sheepish smile and hands open wide. "Hug. It. Out?" You muttered sharply making Camilo shrank on his spot wincing at the harshness of your tone.
"Señor Anton's wagon was wrecked... Julio was thrown into the water through like a ditched out rag.... Are you out of your mind?!" You shrieked in rage as you pulled him up by the collar.
Camilo nervously gulped as he saw the deep fury within your eyes as he stared at you. He would say that you look kind of hot when your faces are so close and he could see the specs of red on your cheeks from anger. He wouldn't say it out loud though, especially right now. "I think... you're kind of upset. And you know the cure for being upset? Warm friendly hugs!" He spoke slowly while holding your hands to make you loosen the grip from his collar.
"You think?!" You pushed him against the door of your room making stumble back with a yelp. "If it wasn't for you, I would finally have someone to call them mine. I would have finally be with someone that would swoop me off my feet!" You exaggerated as you repeatedly poke his chest hard.
Your words stung, you knew, but you were too mad at the boy to even care what words you let out. You were too angry too see the pain in his eyes when you spoke, the breath he tried to hold as the your verdict pierced his heart like daggers. "If you want to be a better best friend? Then apologize for ruining my love life." You whispered, voice traced with venom as you narrow your eyes at the shapeshifter.
Camilo stood in place feeling the ache in his chest as you emphasized the word best friend. He gulped as your faces were just inches away from each other. If it wasn't for the pain, he would have blushed madly from your distance. He can't look at you straight in the eye now that you cleared up his role in your life. He was only a friend to you, and something inside him broke as you notion it.
"F-fine.." he stuttered then licked his dry lips after hearing the rasp of his voice. His bottom lip quivered as he tried not to show any pain in front of you.
He would never show his weakness or hurt to anyone who stands before him because he thought it would ruin his out-going and fun personality. The important thing that matters to him is always give them a bright and wide smile, it will always be his motto. "I apologize..."
"That you were childish enough to think that some ever so handsome prince charming would sweep you off your feet, make you fall inlove and would live happily ever after!!" Camilo brought his hands on your shoulders tight as he walked up to you making you step back a few feet.
Slap
"Childish...? Childish?? For all of my life, you would have seen me crying over every rejection I had over a guy I liked. And for once, someone finally had the guts to actually like me for me! Who would actually appreciate me even though I'm not as pretty as the others, even if I was ordinary than other girls, even if I'm not as special as them. Can't you see that, Camilo?!" Your voice cracked as tears ran down over your delicate cheeks.
You both stood silent only to hear your occasional sobs and hicks. Camilo stayed on his spot as his head bowed down, his curled hair hiding his face.
He couldn't open his mouth to speak, too speechless to say anything. His thoughts scattered rapidly within his mind as he kept on listening to every word you said.
You were his bestfriend, the most special person he had. He had been in love with you for who knows how long and it irked him to think that he was too much of a coward to not confess his feelings for you sooner. He felt ashamed of himself for not trying enough to get your attention. He had only been there to try to make you smile, he had only been there to be your crying shoulder whenever you were upset, he had only been there just to make you laugh away your worries. But he never been there to actually be with you by your side. To be with you as you two faced each others challenges.
He was a coward.
"Leave." You spoke cutting off the silence.
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Taglist: @eventides-child-in-the-tardis @sunnth @dai-tsukki-desu
A/n: MWUAHAHAHAH cliffhangers for you guys. /j
I don't know if I would really end it in a good or bad way but I'm a little sadistic right now so I'll be leaving it as this and would like to let you decide if it will have a good ending or not. BWAHAHHAA
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