#Fuck the archangels this boi is living now
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Fallen Angel Incorrect Quotes Part 2: Electric Boogaloo
Warning: Cursing
The Smiling Critters Space Riders Au and the character "Z" belongs to @onyxonline
If you haven't checked out the Fallen Angel (Reader Insert) series, you can check out the Masterlist here. The reader will be referred to as both (Y/n) and Archangel. Enjoy!
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*Archangel trying on a new outfit*
Crafty: Do you or do you not feel bonita?
Archangel:
Archangel: I feel bonita.
Crafty: Wonderful! Because you look bonita!
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Bobby: The reason why you hate physical contact even though you're extremely touch deprived is because it's been so long since you felt loving physical contact from another living being that your brain misperceives it as a threat.
Archangel:
Bobby:
Bobby: So Picky brought home this raspberry lemonade-
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*One of the many, MANY fights before the events of Fallen Angel*
Archangel: You'd be stupid to lay a hand on me.
Hoppy: Oh, you'd be surprised how much stupid shit I do.
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Archangel: If bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why can't my dad love me?
Hoppy: I thought I was going to have to yell at you, but now I think I should hug you.
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Bobby: A party is a celebration of life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they're loved. (Y/n) has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them.
Bubba: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don't want to be at?
Bobby: I knew you'd understand.
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Archangel: Still not over how yesterday when we landed, Hoppy said we arrived 50 minutes early because she took some "shortcuts."
Archangel: Excuse me, we were in space, what do you mean???
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Archangel: I desire moisture.
Picky: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.
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Hoppy: (Y/n) is mad at me, and I'm not sure why.
Bubba: Okay, did you talk before they got upset?
Hoppy: ...yes?
Bubba: That's probably it.
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Some fan: I wanna be an archangel!
Archangel: What the fuck do you want this shit for? I kill people, all right? Their blood is on my hands! Every night, when I go to sleep, I see their FUCKING faces staring at me! Their families weep, and I FEEL NOTHING! I'M DEAD INSIDE!
That same fan: Man, I want some of that in my life!
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Bubba: Don't weep for the stupid. You'll be crying all day.
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Archangel: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that people insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.
Picky: ... All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.
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Archangel: What is love?
Dogday: An emotional minefield.
Bubba: A neurochemical reaciton.
Kickin: Baby don't hurt me.
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Bubba: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!
Hoppy: You left me, (Y/n), and Catnap in a Walmart parking lot at 2 AM a day ago.
Bubba: I did that on purpose, try again.
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Archangel: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.
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Z: You're alive.
Archangel: No need to sound so disappointed.
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Dogday: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.
Archangel: I will politely decline.
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Archangel: And I'd love to be sorry for that, but we all know I've done much, much worse.
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Picky: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.
Archangel: I think you mean cards.
Crafty: She did not.
Picky, pulling out knives: I did not.
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Archangel: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.
The Space Riders: Awwww.
Archangel: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."
The Space Riders: Oh.
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Archangel: Who the fuck-
Dogday: Language!
Archangel: Whom the fuck-
Dogday: No.
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Author's Note: Now that I made a lot of progress with my thesis paper, I'm going to focus on finishing Chapter 3. I don't have an exact date, but it is coming soon. Thank you for your understanding.
#poppy playtime#space riders au#dogday#catnap#hoppy hopscotch#kickinchicken#bubba bubbaphant#bobby bearhug#craftycorn#picky piggy#poppyplaytime au#poppy playtime oc#poppy playtime smiling critters#smiling critters au#smiling critters#x reader#poppy playtime x reader#poppy playtime dogday#poppy playtime catnap#smiling critters x reader#platonic#dogday x oc#incorrect quotes#reader insert#gn reader#gender neutral reader#crack post#crack fanfic#crack fic#shitpost
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I was originally going to write on Twitter but character limits are too much of a bother so here I am. This will probably be very messy but I'm dealing with media that probably 10 people are familiar with, so... Whatever!
I've recently found this site: https://nervetower.neocities.org/analysis.html
It has a bunch of translations and essays on the game Baroque, originally released on the Sega Saturn.
This specific bit of info has made me OBSESSED with thinking about the game.
Sure the game was literally written in burst of inspiration by drawing tarot cards because the writers had a deadline and writer's block at the same time, and the protagonist being canonically trans was only in a draft for the prequel material, but the game is surprisingly consistent with its themes and the symbolism can still be read through a trans lens.
And because it's not confirmed and ambiguous, the protagonist can be read through multiple gender povs.
But like, why is this such a big deal? Well, Baroque and its prequel material just so happens to have one of the most incredible anti-bigotry narratives I've ever seen in a game. Specifically anti-ableism and anti-eugenics, among probably some questioning of organized religion and how corporations use it to further alienate the public into a cycle of oppression towards marginalized people. etc.
The protagonist is mass produced and manipulated by the Archangel to "purify" whatever he deems should be "purified", using guilt (the Christians/Catholics favorite thing) to do so as the protagonist is made to not remember anything besides their immense guilt over something.
For the game to progress the protag must regain their memories and find out they're a copy of who knows how many other copies, a human made into a product basically, made to feel special because they won't be distorted by their desperate delusions to escape a world destroyed by corporate greed like all the rest and have the power to "purify" things, when in reality they're just emotionally and genetically manipulated into being that.
A perfect pawn.
Now where is the trans symbolism? Well, aside from how little bodily autonomy the protagonist has, here's where things really get interesting:
In Baroque, God is presented as a woman. Before the Great Heat (aka apocalypse), God's Sense Spheres (her omnipresence, transferring data like the world is a body) assured that no great distortion would come to the reality humanity lived in, God would feel pain and know there was a wound to heal. Then the Archangel, who's really just some scientist, started fucking with the population's mental health on purpose because he wanted to kill God and create his own perfect little world. That's the short summary anyway.
At one point, with a lot of brainwashing using God's screams of pain, he created the Order of Malkuth to help him. But later the members woke up from the brainwashing and organized a desperate attempt to stop the Archangel: they would fuse Koriel number 12 (presented as a boy) with God so she could communicate in data that humans could understand. What they didn't expect however is that Koriel 12 had their own problems, and with Archangel interrupting the fusion, those problems were very amplified.
Koriel 12's guilt over being alive and God's suffering made shit hit the fan for good with the Great Heat.
And that's how the protagonist becomes mute and receives the power of God and anim- I mean, "purification".
The game begins and despite Koriel and God being now two parts of the same being, the Archangel tells Koriel to go to the bottom of the Nerve Tower, where the "Mad God" is basically imprisoned, and "purify" her with a rifle (with ammo made from the embodiment of her pain hormones).
The Archangel is literally making Koriel kill a part of themselves that's already literally buried deep into a mind tower that goes down instead of up but still has the image of a tower instead of a hole. He's basically forcing Koriel to bury the closet with them inside it because the closet isn't enough apparently.
Koriel also can't speak for themselves anymore but their thoughts can be read by the Horned Woman, which she just says out loud without explaining anything and unless you're thinking about it you won't even recognize those are "your" thoughts being spoken by another person.
Jumping ahead, when Koriel gets to the bottom of the tower, you can either do what the Archangel tells you or can just walk towards God and unite with her.
When you do this after some dying and finding out, you'll receive the true ending, in which it is made clear that while it is in a state at which it's harming everyone, the "distortion" is actually the natural way of the world, everyone needs to cope at least a little to survive, the Archangel's eugenicist campaign was the greater problem here, not the people "distorted" into representations of their suffering and coping mechanisms by his actions.
This is primarily focused on ableism and particularly the stigma around mental health.
With a trans reading, it forms a bridge so it can also just mean bigotry in general too.
Why? Well, since the 70s or something, trans people basically have to be diagnosed with a disorder to be granted legal access to transition, that's even truer for Japan, which literally puts it on paper as a disorder. And overall, transphobia and ableism go very hand in hand.
This game is now the closest I've come across to finding a game that's secretly about trans people too like The Matrix.
And this has greatly developed the brain worms 👍
#baroque game#my gaming ramblings#if you're insane enough please try the game#not the ps2 or wii versions tho they're terrible and even if you don't care about most changes you'll most likely care about-#it more than doubling the amount of floors from the psx version which already was bigger than the original and like#please don't do that to yourself the game is already not that fun don't subject yourself to those versions#spoilers i guess but really who even cares#it's not like the surprise really does anything in-game really#you'd just be very confused playing it 100% blind trust me#also there's a whole lot I didn't talk about this is just an incoherent rambling which some might decipher maybe#if you've read all this you're very based and I'm so sorry ahsbsjenzbx
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🌍 🏆 💡
Please please please do tell!! 👀👀👀
hi villain!!!!!
🌍 What is your dream AU?
Ok why is this so hard to answer? I think i have more than one. and i love them all equally.
Atomic Blonde AU - what a good movie, first of all. i can't stop thinking of reg, playing charlize theron, being this extremely sexy and lethal assassin, sent to Germany just before the Berlin Wall falls. I just want reg in a high stake, assassin mission where he has to kill an entire espionage ring while looking like an invitation to fuck. charlize was chic in the movie but i want regulus to be elegantly slutty. I want him fighting like black widow but with his ass out and skin showing. I want men after him to call him a bitch, then after, have regulus knife their eye out and ask them, "who's your bitch, now?"
BDSM AU - there's a need in my bones for a good, honest to god, BDSM fic!!!!! PLEASE OH MY GOD. with anyone else, i am BEGGING for regulus to be the sub. but with jegulus? I WANT SUB JAMES SO BAD. PLSSSSSSS. i want james dropping and regulus just pressing kisses over his body to bring him back! i want james being regulus' cock warmer >:( i want regulus having james fuck other men and james not even giving single fuck about who's dick he's bouncing on because the one thing that matters is reg's praise. i want james trying so hard to be the bestest boi for regulus and having a panic attack because he thinks regulus didn't like this one certain thing that he did, only for regulus to come gather him in his arms and tell him he was such a good boy. I want a pouty james that gets jealous once he finds out that he's not reg's first sub! || for moonseeker, bartylus, and [redacted ship] i want regulus to just, just, have the time of his life being a brat and being punished accordingly~ i want regulus pissing off his doms so much and then giving them whiplash the instant he turns into a princess. AHHHHH BDSM AUUUUUUUU.
Supernatural AU - well, well, well. It all starts and ends with the brothers. oh gods. this au. i fucking- I CAN'T EVEN. Sirius finding Regulus because he wants Regulus in on Alphard's mission to hunt demons, while Regulus wants nothing to do with that world anymore. Think Black Brothers! But prophesied to either save or end the world. One is destined to be the vessel of archangel Michael (Sirius) while the other is destined to be the vessel of Lucifer, himself (Regulus). AHHHHHHHHH fuckkkkk. Regulus slowly struggling with bloodlust while Sirius is the one stable thing that keeps pulling him back OH GODS. Regulus having a panic attack while Sirius whispers promises to his ear about how he'll never let anyone take his little brother from him, and that he won't ever let Regulus lose himself. Cue Sirius telling demons of hell to go fuck themselves because they're never going to get Regulus. Think the brothers going all around the world killing demons, running from angels (wanting to collect Sirius), hunting monsters, exorcising ghosts!!!! One of them gets cursed and one has to make a deal with a devil!!! THE SHEER POTENTIAL OF THIS AU. long roadtrips where it's just the brothers talking, fighting, healing, and crying. If there was EVER a good au to show how codependent and unhealthy these brothers are, THIS, THIS IS THE ONE. I want Regulus travelling through the depths of hell because Sirius was taken, in the hopes to kill the vessel of Michael (Albus). I want Lucifer (Riddle) trying to take Regulus under his wing while he's in hell desperately looking for Sirius. I want Regulus to find Sirius at the cost of his humanity <3 and Sirius despairing because he wanted Regulus to live a normal life, because that's why he gave himself up! And Regulus telling him to stfu and focus because now they gotta fight their way out of hell. Oh, and James is Castiel but falls in love for Regulus. Remus is Crowley.
🏆 What do you wish more authors in your fandom would write about?
Regulus not being a punching bag or a FOIL for sirius ://
To be honest, I guess just a little bit more nuance when it comes to the brothers? and a little honesty, too. like if you're going to write about the black brothers and say you'll be exploring both sides, then please explore both sides? Don't play at doing so, and then end up favoring one brother over the other too.
Like, i think we all know that both kids were stupid and cruel to each other, so have them both apologize. Or own up to their shit.
I'm so sick of these two being caricatures for badly written trauma and childhood abuse, especially when it's clear the author has no idea what they're talking about and is going off of the fumes of fanon, where regulus is this meek child while sirius is this brave victim kid who fought against his parents ://
Hmmm... and maybe I'd like to see more morally gray regulus having fun with not giving a fuck.
I think I'd also like to see Regulus having a solid support system.
💡 Tell me a headcanon (and who you wish would write it)?
When Sirius falls into the veil, it's his brother's hands that catch him.
@queerregulusablack @woobyo
When Regulus tries pushing Sirius into the floo to get him to the Potters (because Sirius has to leave and he doesn't want his brother to die in their home), Sirius grabs hold of him and they come tumbling right into Potter Manor. Sirius thinks he can convince Regulus to stay but... Regulus just tells him to live like he's always wanted to. He walks right back into the flames, with his brother telling him not to go.
cait, morgan, ghostie, and villain because they hurt me so well <33
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a complete history of baek jeong-u: part i.
born in the book of genesis in the bible, his real name is dal. he was born near what is now known as busan, south korea. he was alive before the flood, and he survived it. he is the first nephilim, meaning that he is the first of his kind, the first child born to a mortal mother and an angel father — in this case, saint michael the archangel. his birth was post - the fall of lucifer. when jeong-u was proven to be conceived by michael, his mother's prayers to heaven were heard for the sake of jeong-u, michael visited the boy once.
jeong-u was born with wings, but michael removed them. jeong-u is incapable of growing them back, but they do appear in his true nephilim form ( he grows from 6'9" to 10"0', glows gold, grows many eyes that mostly cry molten gold, speaks with many voices, and is terrifying ). from that moment on, no heavenly body, including god, would ever acknowledge his existence. he was left alone in the world when he was twelve years old, his mother dying from a rasping lung infection. she was taken, and he was on his own.
he stashed himself on noah's ark when he was still quite young, but only because noah felt bad that something so divine would be washed away. god looked away, as did michael. while they held and still hold no grace for jeong-u, they didn't allow his death, either. he knew then, in a roundabout way, that it would be difficult to die, as no one wanted him, heaven or hell. at the time, lucifer knew not to threaten jeong-u, as the fall was still fresh enough for them that an assumed war would be too much. little did lucifer know at the time that heaven didn't give a flying fuck about jeong-u. that would prove useful much later.
knowing that he'll never see heaven — jeong-u built himself up on observing humanity and learning. he became a conman for a while, earning what he could, and his charisma and charm grew exponentially. he would travel from land to land, taking people for all they had, then celebrating in towns over by nightfall. he's been caught more than once, as nothing is perfect — and he has been killed. he has been dead. it doesn't last long, but he has become folklore in many different places as a being that would rise from the grave and carry on as if nothing happened.
he feels pain, he knows it, but when he dies — there is no comfort. no white light, no offered hand to heaven. it's lights out, and it stays that way until he resurrects. the length of time it takes between resurrections varies. beheading? a few minutes. dismembering? a day or so, etc., and so on. his conman game continued for a very long time, until jeong-u became wealthy enough to start businesses for himself.
during his time as a conman, he began studying both weapon - based and hand - to - hand combat. learning that he has michael's strength, and growing to his full height ( again, 6'9", and he's still bitter about that one inch ), he became formidable in the world of prizefighting and warrior - for - hire opportunities. he was also coming into some of his powers then, such as the angel scream ( a sound he can emit at such a high octave that it can wipe out all living creatures within a certain radius, depending on the amount he actually tries — that wasn't fun to figure out ), and his ability to predict and counter certain attacks ( he isn't op, well, yeah he is, but not to a degree where he's unbeatable. your muse just can't ... kill him ). more powers came to him as time went on. he's a terrible winner, and an even worse loser. he likes his grudges.
as tales of the nephilim spread, and as more were born into existence, jeong-u traveled with them and lived with them for a while. being a warrior - for - hire ( some called them heroes, but he didn't like that very much ) was dangerous. some of the nephilim did meet their actual deaths, and others didn't. he still keeps in touch with the nephilim that have survived, though their meetings are often few and far between, unless something biblical is going down.
part ii to come.
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Off with their heads.
Chosen ones, a lot of people are finding out the hard way that you are not the same person you used to be. They are fucking around and they are finding out. These pickmeishas, these attention whores if you will are using your energy, your presence, your name for their own reputations and their own benefit while smearing your name and smiling in your face. These cowards could never tell you to your face they talked badly on your name for years. Not knowing who you were, not knowing your name holds weight in high places, not knowing by cursing you they are cursing themselves.
They are talking a lot but not much of substance is coming out of their dirty mouths. When you are a person who walks in integrity, you chosen ones, and you are also very understanding, compassionate, kind, forgiving with lower vibrational people, (not being disrespectful, its better than calling them a narcissist) many of these people will take your kindness for weakness. They downplayed our strength, our intelligence, they downplayed our ability to stand up for ourselves over and over. They play the boy who cried wolf while throwing the stones at your back. Archangel Michael is laughing hysterically at them. God is saying, stand back my children and watch what I will do while they think you are all alone.
Many of us feared being seen as the villain or even being excluded from the family or group for speaking out against injustices when being disrespected, abused, neglected, not believed and downplayed but now we don't care what anyone thinks because we rather be hated for who we are than loved for who we are not. We know who we are, we know we always have pure intentions and want everyone to win because that's who we are as souls connected to the most high. That is why we don't care what anyone thinks about our reputation or our healthy boundaries and our self respect, our self love because we know we will already be misunderstood for protecting our peace. We've accepted we will be misunderstood for life. Unbothered by people living in denial and unbothered what they think because we have already been through hell, we have already died a million times, gone through the dark night of the soul for years and been reborn so we're not going through disrespect again for someone who doesn't know any better it's like watching toddlers try to play with the big boys. In my case, I'm a high priestess with authority to cast out demons.
We burn bridges because we know we can swim. We see through the illusionary game the first time around and we don't stick around to find out that you're a person who lacks integrity and that is sent to hold us back. They are mad that we see through their game before they can even play it. We were always powerful but we didn't want to abuse our own power, some of course were blinded to our own power for decades and we thought we had none until we went on their own self discovery journey. Our journey into the unknown was our journey into self. People saw our power before we did. They didn't want us to see our own power and light so they constantly put us down relying on our kindness and forgiveness to get away with their disrespect and abuse for years and decades. Now we're becoming free and being set free while receiving our good karma but we can still observe the lower dimensions of people living in anxiety, fear, chaos and their own hell they created by hurting innocent children and people.
These people would come into our lives and drain our energy. These energetic vampires were feasting on our pure energy and light because they lost their own light. People saw us as naive and sweet until they met the multiple different aspects of us by using their insults disguised as jokes. Many people saw me as a therapist in their own life to dump all of their problems onto. People would literally say to me. ," that was a great therapy session let's do this again next time. " leaving me completely drained. Leaving me feeling used. Never holding space for me to talk about my own life and traumas then gaslighting me to make me doubt my own intuition when I told the truth about their family member or friend.
So I isolated myself for years and then I was called stuck up, selfish, two faced, manipulative, evil etc. for taking my energy and time back. I barely had any energy to begin, as being a single autistic mom is already draining enough. I had so much compassion and so much love to give that it was easy for them to take advantage of my kind nature. Can you imagine attacking a single mom all because she triggered your insecurities by existing and smiling? My happiness was triggering for miserable people so I hid my smile for years. They had to steal my joy anytime I was caught smiling or feeling good. But they didn't know that I had another side to me that I never wanted to unleash on any soul. Now, because so many people have mistaken my kindness for weakness, I have unleashed the lion within me. People are finding out the hard way not to disrespect me, oppress me or mistreat me and I'm sure chosen ones you are going through a similar situation. Our intuition is always screaming at us who is for us and against us.
Every single person I encounter is testing my boundaries, testing the waters to see what they can get away with and they are getting away with nothing. I am calling out abuse left and right. I am calling out years of mistreatment, disrespect, belittlement, manipulation, weaponized incompetence, gaslighting, control, smear campaigns, and neglect every single time. These arrogant people feel entitled to our time and energy as if they even deserved it in the first place. They perceive us as being alone and think they can get away with anything because physically, yes we are alone. Spiritually however we are far from alone. Archangel Michael loves and stands up for his Chosen ones. His behavior mimics almost similar to demonic activity.
He watches and waits to see what these lower vibrational people will do when presented with a loving, innocent looking, healing person in front of them. He lets them fuck around with us until it goes too far. Archangel Michael does not play about his Earth Angels and chosen ones. His behavior shows when there is an evil injustice done to innocents. These foolish elementary level humans actually believe that they are entitled to our presence and that we owe them our presence, our time,our money, our abundance, our energy, our healing, our labor and our wisdom while giving us nothing but trauma in return. They think that they can talk to us any way that they want, treat us however they want, waste our valuable time, energy and use us for free. They exploited us and inserted misery into our lives as payment for all the unconditional love and healing we gave them along with our abundance and luck we earned. They manipulated us into giving them what they wanted.
As if our energy and time are not valuable, as if we are not worthy of respect and boundaries. It is a shame that they have to find out the hard way that we were never alone. We only appeared to be alone. We are used as bait for people that have bad intentions for Earth Angels to receive their karma. Now they will face the same situations they wished upon us, which for some they wished death upon us. They should have found something more safe to play with. Come out, come out wherever you are God says. My chosen ones will be vindicated and you will receive everything that you are due. May everyone receive what they deserve.
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why November 5th, and destielblr as a whole, is the most folklorically fascinating thing I've ever seen
hoo boi. I have a VERY busy weekend ahead of me and a major presentation on wednesday so this will (probably for the best tbh) be pretty brief by my standards.
first off, once again, the lore-accurate Archangel Cassiel (yes, archangel) :
Saturn, Time, Solitude & Tears
oh yeah aND THE *DEATHS OF KINGS*
....I really don't know how yall managed to recreate an entire angel from basically nothing but ok
but NOVEMBER 5th
is a WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL
because THIS
is a HOLIDAY
on the BORDER OF FALL AND WINTER
about the ANGEL OF TIME being THROWN INTO TARTARUS (yes, The Empty is literally Tartarus, no I will not elaborate, its the same thing) for the crime of FALLING IN LOVE with a SEMI-IMMORTAL, VAGUELY-HUMAN HUNTER WHO IS DESCENDED FROM *CAIN*
and over the past three years
this has evolved into the following pieces of folklore:
-when it is NOT Nov 5th, Cassiel still does his usual, literal-millenia-old duty of announcing the deaths (or disgraces) of powerful people. Dean is there too, now.
-Cassiel can tell Dean he loves him all he wants, but through some curse attributed to a cruel God and/or metanarrative forces, Dean is forever unable to say it back- however, he is able (or possibly forced) to announce Weird News Crap in what is usually Cassiel's role. I've even seen some memes that have Dean remembering every world event the "Destiel Meme" is used for as a twisted replay of the confession scene, while Cas doesn't remember any of them.
-Nov 5th seems to be a day of renewal/restarting for the fandom/meta effort to get Cas & Dean back together, but that is manifesting more & more as Cas and/or Dean THEMSELVES restarting their efforts to find each other. It even goes as far as posts talking about eating certain foods, or even leaving food out, as something akin to souling/other folkloric forms of "food for the dead", as some symbolic aid/allegiance to these two wandering spirits...
of a fallen angel and some kind of Clearly-From-The-Wild-Hunt demihuman Cain Guy....
who desperately want to find each other...
so that the angel can be freed from Tartarus/the void...
and the hunter can leave the eternal chase across the heavens and live happily on earth
(also the Hunt Guy has a brother who is SEVEN FEET TALL and MAGIC and has FUTURE SIGHT and *MOOSE ANTLERS* and drinks BLOOD. what in the aggressively nordic fresh fuck)
so um.
yeah.
yall did FOLKLORE
PEOPLE OF TUMBLR, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE *DONE A FOLKLORE*
congratulations, the latest heartbreaking seasonal time deity/wild hunt/cain tradition/star-crossed immortal lovers/midwinter mythos came from TUMBLR OF ALL PLACES
...also I will be separately posting a "folklorically-consistent" list of things to leave out for Destiel tonight and/or tomorrow night, if that interests anyone
#spn#rant#no energy for a coherent post#please take... this. this thing#folklore#on the soapbox#mythology#academia#yall are fascinating lmao how did u re invent so many ancient traditions so fast#“modern paganism” tiktok WISHES it had yalls uhhh...#doomed romance between the Archangel of Saturn and the leader of the Wild Hunt#legit its like these folk traditions hit “pause” when christianity took over North Europe#and hit “play” again in like s9 of Supernatural#do yall know how Actual Academic Folklorists would react if they saw what the Destiel Side Of Tumblr gets up to#it would wreck the whole field of modern folklore study
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any time (every time) I see a clip or gif of dean's little meltdown in 'yellow fever', where he's like "sam!!!! we actively search out things that want to kill us!! or eat us!!!" I always think of this poster that the theology major who lived across the hall from me freshman year of undergrad had taped to her door, which was a painting of the archangel michael that had electric yellow text over the top which said, "blessed st. michael, guard my room. don't let anything kill me or eat me. kill it with your sword. kill it with your sword. amen."
anon...that's the fucking funniest thing i've heard all week...what do you mean??
i had to search this with a truly frightening fervor and rapidity...is this the poster in question??? holy shit????
behold:
the repetition, perfect.
the fact that it clarifies this is from a little boy?? i am in the little boy in question, manifesting acts of incredible violence from st. michael. amen.
(on an almost unrelated note, this makes me mourn the almost michael!dean we had. everyone talks about eldritch vessel sam, but rarely do i see any vessel dean content...he randomly finds out in the middle of a case that he's good with swords--like, freakily good with swords. he tries to lug swords to all of their cases which is super impractical and useless against most of the things they fight and sam mocks him relentlessly for it. children flock to dean like ants to dropped food, just to say hi. scared civilians run to dean first. dean can't step into a church without the light getting really bright and the sun turning all the stained glass windows to gold. dean slips and falls in mud and yells at the sky and it?? stops raining?? just the once, but dean tells sam to stop messing with him because he's storm from x-men now, "except my boobs are better." much to think about.)
thank you for this ask, anon. i am kissing you. this made my truly awful week so much better--i haven't stopped laughing.
-lizzy
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⚠️WARNING: GOOD OMENS 2 EPISODE 1&2 SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!⚠️
I need to get my live reactions out because I am LOSING IT. Do not read beyond this point if you don’t want spoilers for the first two episodes!!!
I am going insane after the prime premiere so here are my insane ramblings externalized:
THE COLD OPEN IN EPISODE 1 KILLED ME IN MY SEAT INSTANTLY
THE NEBULA. ANGEL CROWLEY (whose name we don’t get, ofc, that made me laugh). HE WAS SO EXCITED AND AZIRAPHALE’S “I WOULD HATE TO SEE YOU GET INTO TROUBLE” AND THE W I N G.
The fjuckin. WING. I AM UNWELL. I AM GOING INSANE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT
AAAAAAAAAA
And then the title music played and I apologized to my friend that I dragged to the premiere for being Extremely Not Normal. And then told her it Would Get Worse.
GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY, IM-
Maggie: Oh nooooo, we’re locked in the coffee shop together,,, what will we doooooo (every fanfic author in the room just got so many ideas.)
Hm. Lindsey, huh? Hmmmmm.
That’s uh. Not a normal amount of texts. That seems a bit Not Great. I’m watching you Lindsey. I haven’t seen you yet but I am watching
THE APOLOGY DANCE AHSHDJFJF!!! Stan Pines and Crowley have something in common apparently. Also. Aziraphale what do you mean you had to do it in 1941. what were those other times. Where did this come from. I need EXPLANATIONS.
There’s no way their two-halves-make-a-whole miracle is what set off alarms in heaven. Gabriel Absolutely Did Something.
There are too many flies in the book shop for this to NOT come back to Beelzebub somehow
Re: Beelzebub- why ask Crowley to keep them in the loop if Shax already asked him that? Are they just not communicating, or is this somehow connected to Beelzebub???
My heart fuckin stopped when Gabriel started singing Everyday.
Crowley. Crowley I need you to repeat that bit about Jane Austen. CROWLEY YOU CAN’T JUST DROP THAT, I-
Good to know that scene overlooking the ocean was in fact as emotionally intense as expected. aaaAAAAAA
Re: Job minisode- “I’m a demon. I lied.” Gives a whole new fuckin context to the “Would I lie to you” “You’re a demon” from season 1. AaaAAAA
Another one from that minisode: Aziraphale thinking that heaven could be convinced to not destroy the earth if they just understood properly in season 1… aziraphale being disgusted by human food and drinks until he was tempted to try it and understood… Mr Gaiman I am in your walls for this
Anthony J “You can’t kill kids” Crowley strikes again. And we still don’t get clarification on what kind of kids he meant, which is incredible honestly. Plus, the goats were adorable :)
How is the jukebox doing the same thing as the Bentley. Is this a “every record eventually turns into Everyday in the same way music left in a car too long turns into Best of Queen” or is this a Pointed Thing
Have I mentioned that I would die for Muriel? I would die for Muriel. It has been two episodes and I simply adore the low ranking sunshine angel.
They are so fucking married
“OUR CAR” “OUR BOOKSHOP” they are so fucking married. Crowley why are you sleeping in your car, pls it’s OUR bookshop 😭😭😭
Aziraphale took drivers tests before they were cool (aka mandatory) 🙄 come on Crowley keep up
Aziraphale driving the Bentley is something I didn’t know I needed and yET-
First the “naked man friend” comment and then a random guy stealing the seat across from Aziraphale in the pub… rip crowley
Gabriel with the Terry Pratchett paperback… Gabriel reading off the first line of Good Omens… wait the book exists in the world of the show- Aziraphale owns the book in the world of the show- what
Never thought “Archangels don’t know where babies come from” would be a plot point and yet. Here we are.
Pausing one more time to go absolutely feral over the ending of the Job minisode because that played my heartstrings like a FIDDLE. “I’m like you now” “I’m a fallen Angel” and “I’m not here to take you to hell, don’t think you’d like it”; “I’m on my own side” “Sounds lonely” and “I’m a demon. I lied.”; how heckin PRETTY THE WHOLE SCENE WAS
someone please send help because idk how I’m going to be normal after this.
Okay, scheduling this for a little after the episodes drop and spoiler tagging like crazy! SOON, THE REST!!!
#good omens#good omens s2#good omens s2 spoilers#goodomenss2spoilers#gos2 spoilers#gos2#good omens liveblog
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I have a headcanon where the people outside the demon clan absolutely have no idea what Meliodas the destroyer looks like since Mel kills anyone who sees him. So the only people who know what the destroyer looks like are the archangels, Eli, gloxinia, and drole. Since he looks like a child, a lot of people underestimate him and doesn't take him seriously until they saw his powers.
When he join stigma they look at him and thought 'his a child'. The archangels try hard to convince this child is THE DESTROYER but the people just dismissed it and just say "his a kid. How can he be the destroyer?"
Which made the archangels rip their hair is frustration
Imagine this:
"I'll be your opponent from now on"
Ludociel look at the boy who arrived in the scene with an incredulous face "You're just a kid!" he yelled. The kid only looked at him with bored eyes as he responded with no emotions in his tone "...I'm not child"
"Yeah yeah, whatever you say" Ludociel rolled his eyes "To think the demon race send a child to defeat me is foolish. There dumber than I thought"
The kid only sighed and muttered bitterly "Why does this always happen to me...?"
"Since you're a child I'll go easy on you." The kid frowned "It's your lucky day" Ludociel smirked as he held up his hand summoning his light.
The kid only tilted his head and he sigh tiredly as he took his large sword in front of him. Not saying a word he punched him in the blink of an eye before Ludociel could make his first move. Which caused Ludociel to crush one of the structures in the temple.
"W-what?"
"I think it a bad idea to go easy on me" Ludociel saw the kid silhouette in the smoke walking towards him. "Give me all you got" The kid smirked deviously glaring at the archangel
Ludociel got his ass beat pretty bad that day XD
I can imagine Meliodas thinking about letting people live, so people will stop assuming he's just some child, but then again, it did give him an advantage, so he ended up never doing it.
and when he joined Stigma, I can totally see him going "No, I'm not the destroyer" in Ludos face, just to fuck with him XDDD
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So to continue off of this cause I’m rewatching Supernatural by introducing it to my mother haha
-
Taka is the son of a cop and a devote believer in god following his family’s fall from society. He turns to his studies and then an angel called for him to begin his service.
This angel is Raguel, the angel of Justice.
His mission is to retrieve Mondo’s soul from damnation and set him towards the path that will lead to the destined battle for the Earth. Of course, no one expected that the angel and the human would fall in love with said soul.
“So your vessel’s name is Taka and you’re Ragú somethin’?”
“I am not a pasta sauce. At least you make up for your intelligence with your butt and fancy hair.”
“…”
“I enjoyed watching the titular journey of the diseased creature and his strangely morbid young mistress.”
“Lilo & Stitch. The movie is Lilo & Stitch, feathers.”
“I am also not a bird.”
Mondo gets along with him for the most part, but the angel has a lot to learn about Earth culture. And Mondo needs to not be so clueless.
-
And of course, Hagakure, a fake psychic, became the vessel of the playful archangel Gabriel. Gabriel is much like canon and he appreciates making funny prophecies, tampering with reality and of course, messing with humans.
“So, is it safe to call you angel face?”
“Whatever you wanna call me, big boy.”
Heavy no homo vibes from Daiya and Hiro there
-
Makoto Naegi is a normal dude when he was seemingly struck by lighting and his dyslexia autocorrected like Percy Jackson. He is now a prophet of the lord being protected by a hunter from an infamous family, Kirigiri, and a human vessel named Togami that is currently hosting the demon prince, Mammon. The demon is under contract with the hunter until her goals are met.
“I can read this now… I think this tablet has some sort of fanfiction about brothers hunting monsters. Ooh and one of them is shipped with an angel. God invented Ao3 so-“
“Makoto, why would God need fanfiction? He plays us like the Sims.“
“Yeah and human x angel isn’t my thing. Now, if you want something spicy-“
It’s a lot of back and forth banter with the two of them while Makoto gets to work with the bros solving hell texts and junk.
-
Kazuichi lives in the middle of nowhere making special monster slaying, demon obliterating weapons and he loves to experiment any chance he gets. He was born into the trade of blacksmithing. His guardians are demonologists, Gundham and Sonia.
Gundham is a master of taming creatures that can detect the presence of demons and other creatures. Rumor has it is that he can really communicate with creatures.
Sonia is from a long line of hunters, going back to the medieval age when there was a secret line of hunters working for the royal family. It’s said that she’s a descendant between a hunter and a royal, which explains her extreme good looks.
“THAT IS BLESSED SILVER! LIKE ANGEL SILVER, THE GOOD CUSH! WHERE THE FUCK-“
“Do not utter such crude language around the dark queen, paramour. Your shrieks of joy are enough.”
“It was fun! We wanted to summon a demon to get some blood, but an angel showed up instead. So I wrestled and killed him!”
“…”
Sometimes Kazuichi wonders how unhinged Sonia really is compared to the odd Gundham.
-
Chihiro got affliated with the Oowada bros after being rescued from a spirit that was haunting the library computers. From there, they vowed to pay them back for their kindness (Mondo refused a thousand times before Daiya said that they could tag along) and now does a good chunk of their pilimary research of monsters to slay and where to find them.
“So between the house where people’s arms have been twisted off, the serial drowning and spontaneous combustion, which one would you rather go look at first?”
“Hmm… It’s a tight one between the dollhouse and the pool.”
“How about we just don’t for one goddamn week, for fuck’s sake, your finger got cut off-“
Mondo would like to have five seconds to relax sometimes.
#danganronpa#supernatural#danganronpa trigger happy havoc#danganronpa 2#danganronpa au#supernatural au#mondo oowada#kiyotaka ishimaru#ishimondo#daiya oowada#yasuhiro hagakure#kazuichi souda#sonia nevermind#gundham tanaka#chihiro fujisaki#I’m def gonna do redraws later#thinking of calling this au super-danganatural but we’ll see
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Guilt Complex - Implied Ships - SFWish
Title: Guilt Complex
Author: Keith
Fandom: South Park
Setting: Heaven
Pairing: None
Characters: Pip Pirrup, Archangel Uriel
Genre: Angst/Drama
Rating: T
Chapters: 1/1
Word Count: 905
Type Of Work: One-Shot, Part Five of the Writer’s Month 2022 Collection
Status: Complete
Warnings: AU - Body Swap, Body Swap Aftermath, Guardian Angel!Pip, Non-Con, Suicide, Mentioned New Kid | Douchebag/Gregory of Yardale, Mentioned Herbert Pocket/New Kid | Douchebag, Mentioned Herbert Pocket/Pip Pirrup, Mentioned Damien Thorn/Pip Pirrup, Brainwashing, Threats, Death Threats, Religion, Supernatural
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Alex belongs to my friend Mel (Nxwkid on Tumblr).
Summary: Truly, Pip hadn't meant for it to happen, but the road to Hell was paved with good intentions, or so they said.
AN: Hey guys, it’s me again! I just thought I ought to say, if you want vague updates and to talk to me more, I have a writing Tumblr, too! Twitter is Sunshinecackle, and Tumblr is Writteninsunshine! I also have a writing Discord that is currently pretty dead. xD If you want it, please contact me on Tumblr/Twitter!
I’m trying to do Writer’s Month this month and to keep myself working on these to get all of them done hopefully, I’m going to aim for 500 words or less.
So, I really wanted to play with this idea from the rp blog, so I went ahead and messed with it, I thought it would be fun! And it was, I enjoyed this one very much.
Writer’s Month Fic Masterlist
Guilt Complex
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“Phillip,” Uriel’s voice was strict and filled with disappointment, “Do you know why we’ve brought you back to Heaven?”
Pip couldn’t meet the archangel’s eyes, his head down and hands folded in his lap like a child caught in the act of misbehavior. He knew he was in trouble. Oh, he was very aware of why he was back. Meddling in the affairs of mortals not under his care was more than frowned upon, and he’d not only meddled, but he’d gone and taken advantage of both Pocket and Alex’s trust.
He’d been sent to be a guardian angel for some of his dearest friends in life, dearest friends who were all a little more than fucked up, now, and he’d failed. More than failing his charges, he had absolutely failed Alex, and Gregory most likely.
“I need you to speak, boy.” The elder blond snapped, his deep, scratchy voice making Pip’s head shoot up to meet his eyes, though he only got so far before he couldn’t continue, eyes remaining fixed on Uriel’s mouth.
“I… Believe so, yes. I broke several of the tenants–”
“And you have doomed several mortals to a fate that none of them would have had to live with without your involvement.” There went Uriel’s training in the holy armies, his general status not lost on Pip, who flinched as his eyes dropped back to the floor. He knew that, and he also knew there was little he could do about it.
“Y-yes, I… I know. I’ve likely ruined several good things, and I do wish that I hadn’t done it.”
Disappearing while being drug back up to Heaven to atone for what he’d gone and done probably wasn’t going to help, but he was hoping that this would be quick.
Uriel’s firm frown told him that it would not be.
“Alex Cowens is going to suffer for your dalliance, more than anyone else. His lover has already attempted suicide due to your actions, and he is aware of it. He had to talk him out of it, pretending to be you. While it is not in his general demeanor to kill, he is very capable of permanently ending your existence. A creature of Satan such as this will barely need to raise a finger to do so. Empyrean Steel will not be necessary.”
Flinching again, Pip opened his mouth, but a sigh from Uriel had him closing it again.
“You will begin your reprogramming immediately. Gabriel and I will be overseeing it. When we return you to your work, it would do you more favors to cut such tight ties with your charges.” The sharp glare in his eyes nearly reached his tone and Pip’s eyes climbed up once more, foused on his forehead instead, “And, perhaps, rethink your connection with the Antichrist.”
The light, hollow tinkling of Pip’s wings shuddering filled the small, brightly lit room, and Uriel sighed again, exasperated.
“If I’ve told Him once, I’ve told Him a million times,” He began, walking behind the chair that Pip was seated in and adjusting a few things with a solid clunk, “It’s that humans, no matter how pure their heart or soul may be, should not be promoted.”
“I daresay–” Pip began, only to shriek suddenly when a metal band clamped around his right, then left biceps. His wrists and ankles were done up with a soft incantation from behind him as Uriel fastened a collar around his neck to anchor him to his seat fully. The angel stepped around in front of him with what could only be described as joy in his eyes.
Oh, he was no stranger to that look.
“I wouldn’t fight it, Phillip,” Uriel responded, “As you’ve been given the status of an Angel, you’ve been given our weaknesses, just the same. Empyrean Steel can simply bind you to your chair, or it can kill you, should it cut you. This typically makes the… Well. You’re going to have to learn not only your job once more but your place amongst us.”
The pleasure that crept over his face made Pip’s stomach flip and drop at the man’s closed-eyed grin. Uriel clapped his hands together, then turned his steepled fingers towards the Guardian Angel in his custody.
“I can’t say it will be easy, Phillip, but we will fix this.” At least, on their end, they would. Once this was through, there was no doubt in his mind that Pip would be different, at the very least. If he wasn’t, well… Uriel would have to do something about that, too, wouldn’t he?
Clucking his tongue, Uriel shook his head, “Really, this wouldn’t have happened if you had kept your head on your shoulders, wouldn’t you say? This is inexcusable on your account, as you shouldn’t be so enamored with that boy that you can’t tell him ‘no.’ Especially in someone else’s body.”
That, more than anything, might have fueled some of Uriel’s ire. He was going to make sure that this didn’t happen again. It would have been so much easier to curb such desires if the boy had been created an angel… Humans were too unpredictable, they clung too tightly to their sin.
But an Archangel never truly forgot about God’s wrath, and the times they had been sent to enact it upon the world. Uriel would never forget the bloodshed caused by their hands.
This was going to be fun.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
AN: I have been trying for a few months to figure out what happened with Pip in regards to some stuff on the rp blog, and I sort of had an idea, but no details. This particular idea came when I saw the prompt for some reason, and so I just went with it. This was actually a total blast to write, even if it ended up being on the shorter end of the spectrum for these.
Prompt: setting: body switch
#South Park Fanfic#South Park Fanfiction#Writersmonth2022#Pip Piirrup#South Park Pip#South Park Pip Pirrup#South Park Uriel#South Park Archangel Uriel#cw brainwashing#cw supernatural#cw religion#cw threats#cw death threats
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you know nothing
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: N/A
Fandom: Supernatural
Ship: Gen (Charlie & Kevin & Lucifer)
Additional Tags: Trans Charlie Bradbury, Trans Kevin Tran (Supernatural), don't know how to classify lucifer's gender really. but it's definitely not cis, (also implied trans nick because i am predictable), Platonic Cuddling, Couch Cuddles, Television Watching, Gender Identity, Sexual Identity, and the complications therein, Alternate Universe, Charlie Bradbury in the Men of Letters Bunker, Kevin Tran in the Men of Letters Bunker, Lucifer in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Queer Themes, Friendship, Self-Indulgent
Wordcount: 2209
Summary:
Snippet from an alternate universe where Lucifer gets out of the Cage to be the guardian archangel to Kevin's prophet. Charlie is also along for the ride. They are friends.
And Charlie is thinking about some things.
Charlie never developed much of a filter. Or, well, he did, but it was rudimentary at best. Around strangers, say nothing, let nothing stick, and so there wouldn’t be anything dragging on his heels when he needed to cut and run. Friends are supposed to be the opposite of that, right? You tell them everything. No stray thought goes unvoiced. Like how today he is Charlie, like Charlie Brown or Charles Xavier, but tomorrow, he might hang this name up again and try another one.
What triggers this new thought is a little ridiculous. His quest to spread the love for all things Game of Thrones through the Bunker’s inhabitants is going exactly as planned, (It gives him common ground to work off of. Small talk is hard. Rambling about Jaime Lannister is not.) and slowly but surely, he’s worked Kevin and Lucifer up to season 3. And season 3 has Ygritte. And wow, but Charlie has always wanted to kiss Ygritte.
This is new: Charlie wants to kiss Ygritte, but he wants just as badly to be Jon as he does it.
So, he opens his mouth without thinking and what spills out is, “I’m not sure if I’m a lesbian.” And what follows is silence, only broken by the dramatic swell of the soundtrack as characters trek through the snowy wastes.
They’re all sitting on the Bunker’s one couch, the one that was actually Charlie’s idea to get because what kind of movie night were you supposed to have without a couch. Charlie took the corner, and Lucifer took a seat next to him, and Kevin sprawled over the entire rest of the couch, legs thrown over the arm rest at the other end. Somewhere in the past thirty minutes, she’s taken over the empty space of Lucifer’s lap, resting her head there instead of on her own arms and the couch cushion. He doesn’t seem to care about the intrusion all that much.
Lucifer’s got two fingers pressed to Kevin’s right temple. Every once in a while, Charlie can see him make a small circle and hear Kevin let out a breath of relief. There’s only one effective cure for the migraines that come from reading the Word of God day in and day out, and that’s letting an archangel soothe them. It’s not something Kevin used to let him do. Not until a week and a half ago, when she’d walked into the kitchen and dropped the mug of coffee she’d been trying to drink because her hands were shaking too bad, whether from pain or sleep deprivation or the fact that all she’d eaten the day before from what Charlie could tell was a piece of bread and a Kit Kat bar. Kevin had stared at the shattered mess at her feet for a few seconds before finally saying, decisively, “I don’t have to fucking live like this.”
It turns out that if your prophet decides they want to sleep 8 hours a day and eat at least two full meals rather than throwing themselves at the brick wall of translation 24/7, it’s a lot harder to argue with them when they’ve got an archangel on their side. Lucifer takes his guardianship seriously. (And takes the job of getting on Dean’s nerves even more seriously.) It’s good, though. Charlie didn’t want to watch Kevin burn herself out.
“You like boys now?” Kevin asks. She turns her head slightly and resettles so that Lucifer’s fingers rest above the end of her eyebrow instead. She’s fresh-shaven. (Yesterday, she showed Charlie how to shave his face. It’s not something Charlie actually needs to do yet, but it’s useful information for the future. “My mom taught me, I’ll teach you,” Kevin has said and explained how it differed from shaving everywhere else. Charlie took notes. He’s got them on his iPad.)
“No, absolutely not,” Charlie says. He wrinkles his nose up at the idea. He may not have everything figured out yet, but he’s pinned that down for certain. Guys don’t have the same appeal girls do. There had been a few brief times after meeting Dean where he’d thought wait, am I-, but it turned out that feeling had not been attraction at all. It was the unfamiliar combination of ‘holy shit, I have a friend?’ and ‘why is it so easy for him and not for me’. To be fair, that was harder to figure out when Charlie didn’t know what he’d been jealous of Dean for doing so easily, but now he knows it’s being accepted as a one of the guys and not just the token girl he’d always been. (Knowing Dean better helped, because it turned out what Charlie had perceived as easy was actually the most elaborate gender stageplay in the history of mankind and that Dean wasn’t even fully aware he was an actor.)
The feeling still cropped up now and then, confirming further that it’s definitely not attraction because Charlie might be close to Kevin and Lucifer but not in that way. (Off-handedly, he’d joked once about stealing Lucifer’s gender, which led to the abrupt reminder that, oh, yeah, that was literally what Lucifer had done with his own body. Charlie’s not sure if finding that relatable should be worrying or not.)
"I thought at first that loving women was the only way humans could exist," Lucifer comments. "First Adam, and then Lilith, and then Eve, obviously." Charlie raises an eyebrow because things obvious to Lucifer were never actually so, and the real biblical Eve being a lesbian? That's a new one. "But then Cain's little brother, Seth, only ever had eyes for men."
"No one knows what you're talking about, old man," Kevin snarks. Lucifer narrows his eyes. He lifts his fingers from Kevin's forehead. It only takes a few seconds before Kevin tenses up, and she hisses out, "Ow. Okay. Sorry." She doesn't suffer for long. Lucifer goes back to soothing her migraine. Charlie can see goosebumps rise on Kevin's arm as she relaxes again.
"But I'm right, aren't I?" Charlie carries on. He wrings his hands. "If I'm a guy..." He pauses. "Guy-adjacent. Can I even still be a lesbian?" Kevin shifts from her side onto her back, tilting her head to peer upside-down at Charlie.
"You can steal millions from offshore bank accounts in under an hour," she says, "so I'm not sure who you think is going to stop you. The lesbian Jedi council?"
"There is no lesbian Jedi council."
"...and you know this because you went looking for it?"
"No. No, I didn't- Because it doesn't exist. And I didn't look for it."
"Right."
"Shut up."
”She’s right,” Lucifer says. He flicks a stray lock of Kevin’s hair absently. “There’s no one who could stop you.” He smiles at Charlie then. It’s the kind of smile that sets him a little on edge. Lucifer hasn’t hurt anyone since getting out of the Cage, has insisted he’s on parole and seeking redemption through looking after his Father’s newest prophet, (though he won’t clarify who exactly is enforcing that parole, if anyone) but Charlie’s read all of the Edlund books. Lucifer’s not a passive guard dog unless he chooses to be.
Lucifer’s smile says you are one of mine and I protect what is mine, so give me a reason and I will bite.
Charlie pulls his feet up onto the couch, curling up and wiggling his toes against the cushion. The thing is that Lucifer’s protection is neither entirely unwarranted nor unwanted. Charlie is no prophet, but somewhere along the way, he’s become someone Lucifer will let into his space. Kevin had been the other way around, someone Lucifer had to convince to let him watch over her, and who ended up embracin it because no one else seemed to be in her corner. Charlie’s here more often now and ready to help Kevin in any way, but that’s a new development. She didn’t have anyone but the Winchesters before.
They're Lucifer’s. Certainly not in the way he claims Sam is his, but they’re still his. It’s funny what you feel safe to do when one of the most powerful creatures in the universe will cuddle with you on the couch. Who you feel safe to be.
Charlie tips to the side. He bumps Lucifer’s arm and then squirms so that he can comfortably rest his head against the archangel. Lucifer’s always cold, the good side of the pillow except he never warms up under Charlie’s cheek. Lucifer goes lax, settling deeper into the couch. Charlie takes that as invitation to come closer.
“I might stop me,” Charlie says. Lucifer does this whenever Charlie and Kevin get this close. Lucifer’s always the bottom of the puppy pile, but he doesn’t complain so something about that must be nice for him. It’s hard to remember the heinous shit Charlie read about him doing when he’s melting under a single touch.
(Charlie really shouldn’t scheme, but if this is how Lucifer reacts to them? Then they have to have Sam join them at some point. For science. Obviously.)
“When I figured out I liked girls,” Charlie continues, “I clung to that idea. I thought one day, when I found somewhere to settle, I would find a community there." No one is paying attention to the TV anymore, and Charlie's pretty sure he was the only one doing so at all in the first place. "I never settled. I never stopped for anyone for longer than a night." Of course the name Han was one he wore for a day, how could he not, but Charlie is not much of a dashing rogue, loving and leaving. Charlie's not even sure he could be a Luke yet, not the one who stood in triumph at the end of Return. "I wish I had. I could have belonged somewhere." He slumps. ”That’s why geeks rule. All you have to do is roll up and say, ‘I think Janeway was the best captain,’ and in five minutes, you’ll have someone ready to back you up with citations and another person ready to argue passionately in defense of Captain Kirk. No question about where you came from or where you're going or when."
Kevin stares at the ceiling forlornly. “You know, I used to have cool friends,” she says. A laugh rises in Charlie's chest, but it's too small to break out of it's cocoon and settles on his face as a fond smile.
"You took AP classes and you were in band," Charlie says. "You were the opposite of cool." Kevin crosses her arms. Lucifer shifts again, one arm settling around Charlie, his other hand tap-tapping against Kevin's elbow. Her migraine must have finally passed on.
“Humans have to label everything. Nothing actually works like that. Angels don’t even work like that, and Heaven loves boxes." His voice darkens. Then, he pauses, and he sighs. “Nick's wife used to be a lesbian.”
"Used to be?" Charlie questions, over Kevin's who is Nick? Kevin hasn't had the time to read the Edlund books.
"She stopped using that word when she knew Nick was a man. It made him happy." Lucifer filters a lot of things through Nick's experiences or through the few of Sam's memories he picked up while possessing him, Charlie's noticed, so it isn't a surprise when he asks, "Is that why you'd stop using it?" Charlie considers that. He lifts a hand to bite at his nail and grimaces when it's already been nipped too short.
"Why does no one warn you that once you figure the gender thing out, the goalposts get moved?" Charlie grumbles.
"The princess is in another castle?" Kevin offers.
"Don't try and cheer me up with references," Charlie says. He turns his head and presses his face against Lucifer's shoulder until the world is blotted out. Stupid Kevin. Stupid Mario quote. Stupid him for finding it funny anyway. The most complicated part of the world after meeting the Winchesters was supposed to be the man-eating shapeshifters trying to take over the government, not what he calls himself.
"If I can survive calling you Leon for a whole day because you just replayed Resident Evil 4, then I don't think you're going to hurt anyone by swapping between calling yourself a lesbian and not." Kevin says. Charlie peeks at her.
"Maybe..." He lifts a hand and runs it through his shorn hair, more symbol than style. It had meant everything when he did it. He probably won't keep it that short. "Maybe I'm not a lesbian today." And that's enough. Kevin rolls her eyes, but she lifts a hand above her head to pat Charlie's ankle in solidarity.
"Great," Lucifer says, "and now that you've decided that, can you put on the next episode?" Charlie glances over at the TV. The episode they were watching is over, and credits are running their course. He'll have to get up and swap out the DVDs to get to the next two episodes, and he's finally gotten comfy.
"In a minute," he says.
And Lucifer, who could turn a mountain to dust if he felt like it, accepts his new lot in life as a glorified pillow.
(Enjoyed it? Any interaction is welcomed. You can even support me on Ko-Fi <3)
#fanfiction#1001-5000#general audiences#spn#genfic#charlie & lucifer#kevin & lucifer#charlie & kevin#charlie bradbury#lucifer spn#kevin tran#trans!charlie#trans!kevin#transmasc!charlie#transfem!kevin#trans!lucifer
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supernatural s15e8 our father, who aren't in heaven (w. eugenie ross-leming, brad buckner)
full on snorted when adam showed up in the recap
EILEEN
Hey! Were you tailing me?
SAM
You could have left a note.
EILEEN
You're worried about me.
SAM
You- You think I'm being overprotective?
EILEEN
A little bit.
this all continues to feel completely out of left field. on a show that has had the number of episodes to develop a love interest, to plonk one down in the last season without any buildup prior to 3 years ago and that was very slight... is she just gonna live at the bunker? she did have a whole ass life outside of them. argh. i'm annoyed with myself being annoyed with this situation when i really liked eileen but this plotline is making me so grumpy
i was rereading a few posts from s12-13 because i referenced them or whatever and i actually still was occasionally enthusiastic and fond and i feel like now i'm just bitter and complaining nonstop
SAM
So, he has an Achilles heel.
DEAN
Well, I'm saying he has a weak spot.
oh come on eugenie and brad, dean would know this
edited to add, thank you superwiki! (fucking bullshit, writers)
When Sam uses the phrase "Achilles heel", Dean responds as if he is unaware of its meaning (it refers to a person's point of vulnerability). However, Dean has used the term himself at least once himself, most notably in 5.04 The End: Dean: Long story. The point is... maybe we are each other's Achilles heel. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other, I don't know. I just know we're all we've got. More than that. We keep each other human. Dean also knew what it meant when Sam used the phrase in relation to Veritas in 6.06 You Can't Handle the Truth. Dean uses the phrase himself when arguing with Samuel Campbell about demon deals in 6.10 Caged Heat.
grinding my teeth at the quirky music for cas trying to get donatello, and then the music while they all overact staring at him while he's transcribing the demon tablet. i don't know why this season feels so much worse to me. it's like there was less editing or something. slap it on the screen and call it a day
if eileen has been working the god problem with sam, why isn't she in on this confab with donatello and cas
CASTIEL
Are we seriously talking about going to hell to try to speak to Michael? Michael, who is in the Cage, and insane?
SAM
Yeah, and who told us that?
DEAN
Lucifer. And Chuck. Now, I trust them as far as I can throw them. But, Cas, if you wanna stay here, why don't you stay here?
sure, why not! also dim memory of, if chuck busted open the gates of hell and let everyone out, did that not include the cage. don't even care enough to look up when that happened 🥴
not even a catch you on the flipside to eileen. she just gets to lurk in the background and watch them go. also i know i tend to space out on castiel's stuff because i lose track of anything that's not in every episode but was there any indication before about this whole losing powers business before 15x03? urgh
ROWENA
He won't be in the Cage. Every door here was flung wide when Chuck opened the fissure. Your archangel could be anywhere in hell, or out of hell, for that matter.
patting myself on the back for making the right deduction :p
sleepy rumpled puppy vibes
ROWENA
What am I picking up from you two? A wee tiff? Tell your Auntie Rowena.
DEAN
It's fine. Don't worry about it.
CASTIEL
It's fine.
ROWENA
Boys? Fix it. I don't have many regrets, but the few I do still haunt me. Making Napoleon so short was just bitchy. Telling Mick Jagger he had no future when I dumped him. And, well, everything with dear Fergus. Then one day, you die, you go to hell, they make you queen, and you can't make it right. So fix it!
in the past, they'd have conflicts that i thought were pretty significant but the whole "family gets a clean slate, all is forgiven thing forever and ever amen" would wipe out whatever it was, but i guess this time we're gonna make more of a Deal out of them working out their problem. which is what, blaming cas for soulless!jack killing mary?
lol ok
ADAM
So, what about you? You gonna go back to heaven?
MICHAEL
Uh, I don't know. My brothers are dead. My father never returned. In so many ways, I'm alone.
ADAM
Yeah. Same here. It's not like I have family waiting to see me.
MICHAEL
You have the Winchesters, your brothers.
ADAM
I met them once. And they let me rot in hell.
MICHAEL
Family.
ADAM
Family sucks.
glad they're chummy i guess? and it's true. thinnest plot device of a character that got forgotten immediately
DEAN
Yeah. Eileen did good, right? Getting us back from hell. She doing okay?
SAM
Yeah. I guess.
DEAN
You guess?
SAM
If she needs something from me, she'll tell me. We have an agreement.
DEAN
You have an agreement? That's adorable.
Look, man, I didn't want to say anything, okay, 'cause I was kind of in in a bad place, and, uh, yeah, I didn't want to jinx it or whatever, but, you know, I tried the family thing, right?
SAM
Yeah, me too. And that's not for us.
DEAN
No, not really. But I'm just saying if it was to work, Eileen, you know, she gets it. She gets us. She gets the life. She's hot.
SAM
Dean. I mean, I'm not even-
DEAN
Look, all I'm saying is you- you could do worse, okay? And she could certainly do better. Like, so much better. I'm happy for you, Sammy.
i hate that this is upsetting me. i try to be pretty objective while watching but dean giving his blessing to go do the family thing with eileen is freaking me out
all right so michael just super-smited lilith i guess? okie doke.
sure!
MICHAEL
Sam. You look well. Last time I saw you in the Cage…
which brings up the point that if sam remembers anything of the cage then he presumably would have a pretty good idea of what michael was like then, at least. but it's like he's a blank slate
DEAN
Wait, Mic- Michael lets you talk? I mean, he lets you be?
ADAM
Uh, yeah. In the Cage, we came to an agreement. We only had each other.
not to bring up the time passage in hell equations but :p also what was it like when lucifer was still stuck there with them? he was in there topside-wise what, 6 years? and 4 years it was just the two of them
DEAN
No, he won't. Because Paradise is boring, and your dad he's just looking to be entertained. Which means we're his puppets. All of us, especially you.
MICHAEL
I won't hear this. You're lying. I don't know what your agenda is, but you're lying.
i mean, angels don't have free will anyway, isn't that kind of the point?
MICHAEL
Yes! It would. It would mean that I doubt him. The good son, the favorite, doubts his father.
ADAM
You still care about that? After he left you in the Cage?
and there's the kicker. good job, adam
SUE
The vamps have stopped moving just outside Omaha. They'll start setting up a nest. We need to move on them before they get their defenses in place. Can you help?
EILEEN
I...
SUE
What?! Do you have to ask for permission?
EILEEN
Send me the directions.
SUE
I just texted them to you. [SUE GASPS] Son of a bitch!
SAM
Hey.
EILEEN
I was talking to a friend. She's working a vamp case. She's in trouble.
SAM
Okay. Let's go.
why does this feel like we're getting set up for eileen to die (again)
lol castiel had to get into a little tussle with michael so he could show him the chuck-is-an-asshole recap via magic brain fingers
well. i didn't see eileen's buddy being actually chuck coming
cackled. michael can snap a nexus to purgatory!
to get, *checks notes* leviathan nectar for the spell to lock chuck in the cage or whatever. sure, why not
ah, i see in the deleted scene there is actually some interaction with eileen before popping down to hell
EILEEN
Rugaru blood.
SAM signs and mouths "Thank you" and takes the bottle from her, adding it to the compounding bowl before turning back to EILEEN.
SAM
Uhm, I hope my room wasn't too bad.
EILEEN
It was. But I don't know, kind of cool you have all that spell stuff under your bed. Most guys just have porn.
DEAN looks slightly offended and confused. He raises his hand to get EILEEN'S attention and mouths "He has porn."
EILEEN (whispering)
I know.
mmk
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(～￣▽￣)～
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-ˋˏ[|~TLaAK~| | WIP| CH. 1|]ˎˊ-
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┆ *ೃ Alexandria’s blog. ┆ *₊°。 ¨🎞
ℍ𝕖𝕪!
𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕥 𝕞𝕒𝕪 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕤!
Stats:
Unrevised
Word count; 719 words
POV: 3rd person
Even when her body was going through the bloating stage, she was still beautiful. Standing over the body, the girl never thought that she would succumb to the madness that is jealousy. Envy.
Amelia glowered at the body of her former classmate with such a sense of covetousness for her skin… her eyes… those wondrously supple lips… it enraged her to even think about the other girl's voice, as well.
Anastasia, that was her name. She was crowned Prom Queen all throughout high school, she had the boys and girls alike dropping everything to go and talk to her… to just be in the same room as her was considered a privilege. She was a goddess amongst humans.
Before she opened her mouth, that is.
Amelia knew first hand what happened when Anastasia talked. Somehow, no matter what the “goddess” said about absolutely anyone, no matter how mild—or small a flaw was about the person, the very next day they would be fully labeled a freak, and their entire school and social reputation would be in ruins.
Amelia knew this long before high school.
It’s true that there was at least one redeeming quality about Ana, she sang beautifully. Truly, she had to have been personally blessed by Archangel Sandalphon himself to have had a voice like hers.
Anastasia would never allow her secret of obtaining such a beautiful singing voice be heard though. It was hers, and only hers.
Amelia, lost in thought about the singing voice of her deceased former classmate, was still staring at the body she dragged out from beneath her beds storage unit. She didn’t hear the door open, or the treading footsteps on the carpeted floor.
It was the small gasp that took her out of her thoughts.
Without turning her head, she looked over at where the gasp came from.
The two living bodies in the room locked eyes; the newest addition was shifting their weight from foot to foot, waiting. They looked like they either had, or were going to have something, to say to Amelia.
“What.” It wasn’t a question when it came out of Amelia’s mouth. It was a one word command to get the other one to say what they had to say and then get out of the room. ‘Tell me whatever, then leave me the fuck alone,’ could be a suitable translation.
“You did it…” the smaller, more frail form finally started. “Thank you!”
“Quiet.” Amelia snapped through her teeth. The last thing she needed right now would be for others to catch on to what exactly happened.
The smaller person, who proclaimed themself as Amelia’s friend, tried to keep themself to a fit of quiet giggling and shaking of their hands. Amelia doesn’t know why this person does that, the hand shaking and thinking that they’re friends.
Amelia doesn’t even know their name.
She’s aware of their “dead-name,” as they call it; but she doesn’t know the… “living-name”?
Is that what it’s called? She’s once again lost inside her head trying to figure out what exactly that term is. Her pointer finger is beneath her bottom lip while her thumb is under her chin while she thinks.
“...Lia? Hey, you okay?”
“Huh?” Did they just call me a nickname?
“Oh! There you are, you were pretty spaced out—and I wasn’t the one who caused it, for once! So I didn’t know if you were okay or—” They abruptly stopped talking when they met Amelia’s ice cold stare. Which was not something that happened too often with this person, they tend to look everywhere else while talking to someone.
“Name.” Amelia is not the best with words. So she tries to sum up everything she wants to say to the bare minimum so she can be done with the conversation quickly.
She’s the only one who knows this, though.
“What?” The chatterbox did not understand what the taller woman meant; at all.
“Your name.”
“Uhh… Cassian?” Cassian looked very perplexed at Amelia; they thought that was the cutest way anyone had asked for their name, and to have that come from Amelia, the girl of their everloving dreams… they couldn’t help the deep blush that exploded onto their olive colored cheeks.
Amelia simply nodded at them. Cassian was definitely going to get her caught one day.
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"You're a dark horse, Mr. Fell."
Ok so. I just started my third trip into Good Omens season 2 (it's unhealthy, I swear I'll put it down after this re-watch. Probably). And episode 1 is becoming one of my favorites.
Like yeah setting up the plot for the season, blah blah blah. But it's all about the little stuff in this episode, gang.
Opening on Crowley as an angel, creating the entire effing universe? THAT'S his meet-cute with Az? Swoon. The crazy bouncy curly hair, his excitement about his cute little nebulas, his disappointment when he hears the universe isn't supposed to run very long after all, his insistence that asking a couple of questions can't hurt. Angel Crowley is all of us. And the move he makes to cover Az with his wing? Like. 😭
The entire thing is about their relationship. I went into the season blind, didn't have any spoilers or thoughts about what I wanted it to be really but like HELLO YES it has to be about their relationship. Which I remember thinking during season 1 was super cute and that's as far as I went. Because I was dumb back then? Or distracted by my love of David Tennant (second favorite Doctor, gang. You can wrench Matt Smith from my cold, dead hands, try me). But like shit, I didn't know what I needed.
So anyway "The archangel fucking Gabriel" (now Jim, long for James and also Grabriel) showing up naked with a weird box, ok yeah he's gonna cause some problems but what really matters is that Aziraphale calls Crowley (after he freaks out when Gabriel says he didn't know anything but felt like everything would be okay if he was just with one person, and did Aziraphale know what that felt like?! Spoiler: he absolutely does) and Crowley rushes over and gets uppity because they can't go into the bookshop.
Describing all of the reasons Aziraphale calls him, which y'all, the reasons he lists are literally everything. So he calls you for everything. And then the look when he hears there's a naked man in the shop. YOUR FACE IS COVERED IN SUNGLASSES, how can we still know the fucking look you're giving? It's so perfect. My boy is jealous. And more than a little intrigued. He knows Az is a dark horse.
Back to Jim I guess but whatever the important thing is Crowley's reaction to being him there and the little fight that ensues. I love "I feel like your exactly and my exactly are different exactlys" because that's the ENTIRE POINT of the season like you two are not saying the same goddamn thing and neither of you care to figure that out. THEY'RE DIFFERENT EXACTLYS. Every time that it matters.
Everyone's favorite demon is very upset that the 'fragile existence he's carved out for himself' is being threatened and sweet little Aziraphale says he thought that they carved it out for 'ourselves'. Crowley's "SO DID I" with the flashing eyes is just...because like YO that's what y'all need to be facing up to, LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT. But then he storms out, the drama queen. He was "at liberty to go". Would have been a perfect time to tell Az all about how Gabriel had wanted him to "shut his stupid mouth and die" but like, nah it's okay, that isn't information he needs to know like it's all good. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Let's stalk off with a sexy flourish instead.
Meanwhile, I guess, there's also another demon that's taken over Crowley's post that he deals with sometimes, and he's living in his car (because obviously he didn't bother to tell Az about it situation which is infuriating) and then he gets pulled down to hell by Beezlebub who tells him Gabriel is missing (whoops) and that if he can help find him, he can be a duke of hell. Ya boy ain't interested. But he does know that Az has fucked up their shit again, with his bleeding heart routine. Though in the angel's defense, he didn't see Grabriel try to murder him in hellfire. AGAIN, though, totally don't need to mention that.
But y'all, the entire point of the episode. For me, anyway. Is:
1.) 'Good ol' fashioned loverboy' playing in the Bentley as Crowley rushes back to the bookshop. Dining at the ritz, we'll meet at nine [...] just take me back to yours, that will be fine...
2.) The mother-effing apology dance. I have so many questions. and I loveeeeee it.
Aziraphale says he's done the dance in 1650, 1793, 1941 (we gon' talk about THAT later, folks) and so I need to know like, everything.
WHO INVENTED IT. WHO DID IT FIRST. HAS CROWLEY EVER DONE IT BEFORE THIS? DO THEY NOT REALIZE HAVING THIS SWEET LITTLE RITUAL BETWEEN THEM IS LIKE, PEAK RELATIONSHIP SHIT.
Side rant: There's an outtake where Michael Sheen makes David Tennant do the dance again just so he can hold up a scorecard at the end, giving the man a 7, soo now pretty much I'm obsessed with their friendship also.
Ugh. The entire thing is so perfectly heartwarming 💜 The way Aziraphale gets up and straightens his vest and gives the proper attention before it starts and then just says "very nice" and it's forgotten. And how he pretends to be busy when Crowley bursts in. Makes him ding the bell and everything. He knew Crowley was gonna come around, because that man is nothing but dependable (for him, anyway. Crowley loves to rescue him - but that's an entirely separate post. Like, a real big one). Kid really is a dark horse.
And then, to top it all off, after Crowley has properly apologized, they attempt to do a tiny little half-a-miracle to hide Jim-James-Gabriel and they're all pleased with themselves that it worked. But JK it was powerful. Which has some many implications like, I can't. And that's also probably another post. Because this fucking show is nuanced.
Doesn't matter. All I know is, I can watch Crowley properly apologize all day. ALL DAY.
Basically, perfect episode. Ineffable husbands is exactly what we all needed. And it's gonna get real weird.
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Why ineffable beraucracy moved so much faster (theory)
Gabriel and Beelzebub were both second in command in heaven and hell respectively. Consindering the fact that we don't really hear anything from God or Satan themselves they were basically leading those fractions.
Gabriel knows the system. He is one who recieves loyalty from others and only owes his to God, but she seems to be rather uninterested in doing anything lately. Also being an archangel is a job for Gabriel. He doesn't do it because it's good, but because it is his job.
Kind of the same for Beelzebub. They don't seem to cling to any ideal or extreme loyalty to their boss, they just do what they've done for the last 6000 years.
When the two of them fell in love there is no struggle of loyalty or morality showing. The only entities above them wont really notice or care anyway. And when they get the cance to live this new exciting existence together forever they don't hesitate and take it.
Now compare that to Crowley and Aziraphale
To be fair, Crowley doesn't give a fuck about hell, but he still stood under their authority for a long time and feared them. (Reminder: They immediatly dragged him down when he did something nice FOR ONE PERSON, and after that he set his mind on getting holy water, because he knew what they could do to him)
Now to our beloved problem child Ariraphale:
BOI WHERE to start. He is scared of heaven. He believes heaven is good and that angels are good. He is also SO damn idealistic about this. Even after being kicked out of heaven he still LOVED it when people called him an ANGLE and told him how NICE and GOOD he was. He is so brainwashed he doesn't see the flaws in the system he just thinks: "That doesn't seem right. Angels are ment to be good there must've been a mistake." He doesn't think the system is wrong he believes God just picked the wrong supreme archangel, but God is still GOOD. And also remember how he was also so SCARED of the other angles finding out about his relationship to Crowley.
As long as he is still caught up in that ilusion it is impossible for him and Crowley to be "us". Gabriel and Beelzebub knew the system too well to be too attached to it. Crowley despises everything about it. BUT AZIRAPHALE STILL HASN'T BROKEN FREE! He still needs to learn his own place an the universe. Where he isn't an angle, a part of heaven, servant of God. Where he is just him. His own person.
And this I believe is going to happen in season 3.
IN SHORT:
Aziraphale and Crowley had to hide every friendly interaction from higher authorities WHO WOULD HURT THEM and Aziraphale still carries a loyalty torwards this authority.
Gabriel and Beelzebub were the authority. They know God and Satan the best. They don't give a fuck. They smooching on Alpha Centauri.
Thank you.
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