Fallen Angel 50 Incorrect Quotes Special
The Smiling Critters Space Riders Au and the character Z belongs to @onyxonline
If you haven't checked out the Fallen Angel (Reader Insert) series, you can check out Part 1 and Part 2 here. You, the reader, will be referred to as both (Y/n) and Archangel.
Right now, I need to focus on writing my thesis paper, so I'm not sure when Part 3 will be posted. In the meantime, enjoy this crackfic as an Easter present. Some quotes will contain slight spoilers for future chapters. 😉 Enjoy.
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*During a training session*
Hoppy: Fight me, you nerd ass punk!
Archangel: At least TRY to sound sophisticated when you threaten someone.
Kickin: Dost thou wish to engage in a duel, my good bITCH?!
Archangel: *Facepalms* Somehow, that was worse...
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Bobby: Are you having another depressive episode?
Archangel: A depressive episode?
Archangel: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.
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Z: What's wrong with you?
Archangel: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.
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Crafty: How’s training going?
Archangel: Terrible. I want to stab everybody there.
Crafty: Okay, just don’t get any blood on your clothes.
Bobby: ...you shouldn’t be condoning this.
Crafty: Don’t tell me how to live my life.
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Archangel: Yesterday, I overheard the Captain saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Hoppy replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.
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Archangel: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for methaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!
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Archangel: raises eyebrows
Dogday: Put those back down!
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Archangel: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.
Kickin: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?
Bubba: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.
Hoppy: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!
Picky: …put it away.
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Picky: One time I went to hand (Y/n) a bowl of soup. I wanted to say “Careful, it’s hot!”, and “Here’s your soup!”, so instead I blurted out “Careful it’s soup.”
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*Preparing for a mission*
Hoppy: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk?
Catnap: It's (Y/n)'s turn.
Archangel: Don't die.
Kickin, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.
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Archangel: I can't take you seriously wearing that.
Kickin: Aw, you take me seriously at all?
Archangel: Fair point.
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Dogday: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.
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Archangel to Bubba: How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?
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Dogday: If I say I love you, will you say it back?
Z: Yes.
Dogday: I love you.
Z: It back.
*Later*
Archangel: Why is the Captain crying face-down on the floor?
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*the Space Riders at Disneyland, in the teacups*
Crafty, Bobby, Bubba, and Picky: *spinning a little and talking*
Dogday, Catnap, Kickin, and Hoppy: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*
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Hoppy: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.
Dogday: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Catnap: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Kickin: I joined you in the dumb stuff.
Archangel: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!
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Archangel: This is a bad idea.
Hoppy: Then why are you coming along?
Archangel: Someone has to get your injured ass home.
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Archangel: I feel awful about killing you.
Z:
Archangel: Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.
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Dogday: Hoppy, don’t go picking a fight with (Y/n). Don’t forget, they’re powerful, they could make life difficult for you.
Hoppy: Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life.
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Dogday: I’m so happy both angels are getting along now.
Catnap: Uh, Z and (Y/n) are not getting along.
Dogday: They’re not trying to kill each other.
Catnap: You may have a point.
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Archangel: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.
Picky: Was Kissy's place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?
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Kickin: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way.
Archangel: Did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way?
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Archangel, proudly: I slept.
Catnap: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?
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Archangel: You're a lying piece of shit!
Hoppy: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!
Dogday: I'm leaving and I'm taking Catnap with me!
Bubba, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.
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Poppy: It’s funny how well you and the Archangel get along. Didn’t they hate you at first?
Dogday: (Y/n) hates everybody at first. It’s their way of reaching out to people.
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Bobby: lifting weights
Kickin: Wow… She's so intense!
Archangel: I wonder what drives her.
Bobby, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.
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*First two chapters of "Fallen Angel" summarized*
Archangel: I'm allergic to death.
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Archangel: Hoppy, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery.
Hoppy: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!
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Hoppy: (Y/n), what are you doing tomorrow?
Archangel: Having my day ruined by whatever you’re about to ask me to do.
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Archangel: Someone will die.
Dogday: Of fun!
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Something crashes
Hoppy: Shoot-
Bobby: running into the room in a panic WHAT FELL?!
Archangel: walking by the room calmly What died?
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Archangel: Can you be serious for five minutes?
Kickin: My record is four, but I think I can do it.
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Someone with a gun to Archangel's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?
Archangel: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.
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Catnap: I like to play this game called nap roulette. I take a nap and don’t set an alarm. Will it be 20 min or 4 hours? Nobody knows. It’s risky and I like it.
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Z: When did you become a hero?
Archangel: Um… the moment I saved you from getting killed.
Z: You’re the last person in the galaxy I wanted to rescue me.
Archangel: Well… sucks to be you, don’t it.
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Bubba: It’s just that lollipop sticks last longer than the head, even if they’re less flavorful. I’m thinking of paper sticks, because you can peel off the layers with your teeth or leave it there until they fall off naturally, but plastic sticks can be chewed on too or left sticking out like a cigarette. Paper straws can be eaten layer by layer over time though, so they have the edge.
Hoppy, bored: Can’t we just leave while he's distracted?
Archangel, genuinely interested: But what about wooden sticks?
Hoppy: I hate you.
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Archangel: I am convinced the Captain and Catnap share a brain cell.
Archangel: And it's not in use very often, it seems.
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Archangel: Why am I the bad guy?
Kickin: I don't know, why am I the pretty one? We all have our thing.
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Archangel: We’re having a moment, aren’t we?
Z: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.
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Kickin: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Picky: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Crafty: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.
Bubba: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Bobby: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Archangel: I have emotional scars.
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Dogday: What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
Archangel: A stab wound.
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Archangel: I sense hostility.
Z: Good, because I hate you.
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Archangel: slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading.
Hoppy: This is light?!
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Archangel: What’s up with the Captain? He's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?
Bobby: He's just a little overwhelmed.
Archangel: Why?
Catnap: Z smiled at him.
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Literally anyone: Go to hell!
Archangel: Where do you think I come from?
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Hoppy: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?
Archangel: All the time.
Hoppy: Then you should be used to it by now.
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Archangel: I’m so tired.
Bubba: Did you get to bed late?
Archangel: No.
Bubba: Did you do something strenuous?
Archangel: No.
Bubba: Then why are you tired?
Archangel: I’m alive.
Bubba: Sounds exhausting.
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Archangel: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.
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A cult member: Didn't you die?!
Archangel: That was weeks ago. Things change.
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Archangel: I’d kill someone if you asked me to.
Dogday: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to.
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Fallen Angel Incorrect Quotes Part 2: Electric Boogaloo
Warning: Cursing
The Smiling Critters Space Riders Au and the character "Z" belongs to @onyxonline
If you haven't checked out the Fallen Angel (Reader Insert) series, you can check out the Masterlist here. The reader will be referred to as both (Y/n) and Archangel. Enjoy!
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*Archangel trying on a new outfit*
Crafty: Do you or do you not feel bonita?
Archangel:
Archangel: I feel bonita.
Crafty: Wonderful! Because you look bonita!
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Bobby: The reason why you hate physical contact even though you're extremely touch deprived is because it's been so long since you felt loving physical contact from another living being that your brain misperceives it as a threat.
Archangel:
Bobby:
Bobby: So Picky brought home this raspberry lemonade-
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*One of the many, MANY fights before the events of Fallen Angel*
Archangel: You'd be stupid to lay a hand on me.
Hoppy: Oh, you'd be surprised how much stupid shit I do.
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Archangel: If bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why can't my dad love me?
Hoppy: I thought I was going to have to yell at you, but now I think I should hug you.
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Bobby: A party is a celebration of life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they're loved. (Y/n) has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them.
Bubba: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don't want to be at?
Bobby: I knew you'd understand.
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Archangel: Still not over how yesterday when we landed, Hoppy said we arrived 50 minutes early because she took some "shortcuts."
Archangel: Excuse me, we were in space, what do you mean???
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Archangel: I desire moisture.
Picky: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.
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Hoppy: (Y/n) is mad at me, and I'm not sure why.
Bubba: Okay, did you talk before they got upset?
Hoppy: ...yes?
Bubba: That's probably it.
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Some fan: I wanna be an archangel!
Archangel: What the fuck do you want this shit for? I kill people, all right? Their blood is on my hands! Every night, when I go to sleep, I see their FUCKING faces staring at me! Their families weep, and I FEEL NOTHING! I'M DEAD INSIDE!
That same fan: Man, I want some of that in my life!
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Bubba: Don't weep for the stupid. You'll be crying all day.
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Archangel: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that people insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.
Picky: ... All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.
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Archangel: What is love?
Dogday: An emotional minefield.
Bubba: A neurochemical reaciton.
Kickin: Baby don't hurt me.
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Bubba: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!
Hoppy: You left me, (Y/n), and Catnap in a Walmart parking lot at 2 AM a day ago.
Bubba: I did that on purpose, try again.
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Archangel: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.
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Z: You're alive.
Archangel: No need to sound so disappointed.
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Dogday: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.
Archangel: I will politely decline.
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Archangel: And I'd love to be sorry for that, but we all know I've done much, much worse.
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Picky: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.
Archangel: I think you mean cards.
Crafty: She did not.
Picky, pulling out knives: I did not.
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Archangel: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.
The Space Riders: Awwww.
Archangel: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."
The Space Riders: Oh.
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Archangel: Who the fuck-
Dogday: Language!
Archangel: Whom the fuck-
Dogday: No.
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Author's Note: Now that I made a lot of progress with my thesis paper, I'm going to focus on finishing Chapter 3. I don't have an exact date, but it is coming soon. Thank you for your understanding.
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