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petchic101 · 1 year

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DA Elvish

I separated all of Dragon Age's known Elvish into Nouns, idioms ect

Nouns

Titles/Types of people/Groups

Anaris: – according to an old tale, he was once tricked by Fen'Harel while dueling the Great Hunter Andruil

Andruil: Goddess of the Hunt is the elven Goddess of the Hunt, known also as "blood and force" and the "great hunter."

Arlathvhen: Meeting of the Dalish clans that occurs every ten years. Means "for love of the people."

Asha'bellanar: "The Woman of Many Years." How the Dalish refer to Flemeth.

Da'len: Little child; little one.

Daern'thal: Known Forgotten One

Din: The dead.

Dirthamen: Keeper of Secrets, is the twin brother of Falon'Din and is the elven god of secrets and knowledge, and master of the ravens Fear and Deceit. Dirthamen gave to elves the gift of knowledge and taught them loyalty and faith in family.

Elgar: Spirit.

Dirth'ena enasalin: "Knowledge that led to victory"; the Elvish term for the Arcane Warrior or, more recently, Knight Enchanter disciplines.

Durgen’len: Children of the stone; the Ancient Elvish term for the dwarves.

Elgar'nan: God of Vengeance also known as the All-Father, the Eldest of the Sun and He Who Overthrew His Father—represents fatherhood and vengeance, and leads the pantheon with the goddess Mythal.

Elvhen: Elven name for their own race; our people.

Elvhenan: The name of the elven civilization before the arrival of humans in Thedas; the place of our people.

Era'harel: Demon-mage; similar to an arcane horror.

Evanuris: Leader; Translated by Dorian in context as "mage leader"; what the elvhen called their gods.

Falon: Friend.

Falon'Din: Friend of the Dead, the Guide is the elven God of Death and Fortune and guides the dead to the Beyond. He and his twin brother, Dirthamen, are the eldest children of Elgar'nan the All-Father and Mythal the Protector.

Fen'Harel: The Dread Wolf is an enigmatic trickster god of the elves, whose supposed betrayal of both the benevolent Creators and the malefic Forgotten Ones is the only explanation most elves have for the destruction of Arlathan. Dalish clans view him with wariness and seek to protect themselves and their kin from his treachery. It is revealed by Solas in Mythal's temple that this could be a misinterpretation by the Dalish and instead he was the god of rebellion.

Geldauran: Known Forgotten One

Ghilan'nain: Mother of the Halla is called the Mother of the halla—white deer-like creatures revered by the Dalish and used to pull their aravel, or "landships"—and goddess of navigation.

Ghil-Dirthalen: "One who guides seekers of knowledge true."

Ghilan'him banal'vhen: "The path that leads astray": a derogatory term for Arcane Warriors among those elves who eschewed physical combat.

Hahren'al: A gathering of hahrens during the Arlathvhen.

Hahren: Elder; used as a term of respect by the Dalish as well as by city elves for the leader of an alienage.

Harillen: Opposition.

June: God of the Craft is the elven Master of Crafts. He is variously described either as a brother to Andruil and Sylaise or as Sylaise's husband. He taught the elves to make bows, arrows, and knives to hunt Andruil's gifts.

Lethallin/Lethallan/Lethallen: Casual reference used for someone with whom one is familiar; generally, lethallin is used for males while lethallan is used for females; lethallen has been stated to be the appropriate gender neutral term unless otherwise stated later in canon, though it is likely to remain the same. Note: Though "lethallin" is usually used for males and "lethallan" for females, as stated above

Lethanavir: Another appellation of Falon'Din the elven god of death and fortune who guides the dead to the Beyond.

Mien'harel: Rebellion; depending on the interpretation, a violent call for justice; a concept that when humans push the elven population too far they must remind them that even a "short blade" must be respected; most commonly a term used by city elf.

Mythal: the Great Protector, the Protector and the All-Mother, and goddess of love, is the patron of motherhood and justice and leads the pantheon with her male counterpart, Elgar'nan.

Shemlen: The original name elves use for the human race; continues to see use as a slang term amongst the City Elves ("shems") even though its meaning has largely been lost; literally "quick children".

Somniari: Dreamer.

Sylaise: the Hearthkeeper is the goddess of all the domestic arts and the sister of Andruil the Huntress. Sylaise gave the elves fire, and taught them how to weave rope and thread, and to use herbs and magic for healing purposes.

Vhenallin: Friends of the People.

Nature

Adahl/Adhal: Tree.

Adahlen: Wood.

Alas: Earth, dirt.citation needed

Dahl'amythal: Tree of Mythal from which Dalish Keepers’ staves are cut.

Durgen: Stone.citation needed

Elgara: Sun.

Felandaris: Demon weed.

Vallas: Set, as in the setting of the sun.

Vallasdahlen: Trees planted in remembrance of those who dedicated their lives to the Dalish kingdom that grew into a mighty wood; life-trees.

Vhenadahl: The tree of the people.

Vhen'alas: The land itself, as in "the ground"; literally "our earth".citation needed

Vunin: Day.

Animal

Fen: Wolf.

Hallas: are a type of horned stag; some are herded by the Dalish—who use them to pull their aravels, or landships. Their milk is also made into cheese and butter.[2] The Dalish do not consider them beasts of burden but noble companions. To get them to accompany a clan, the Dalish elves ask rather than force them to.

Hanal'ghilan: Elven name for the mythical golden halla said by the Dalish to appear during times of great need; the pathfinder.

Body/Self

Banal'ras: Shadow.

Renan: Voice.

Taren: Mind.

Vallaslin: Blood writing; The art of tattooing adopted by some elves to more prominently display their worship of the traditional elven pantheon.

Vhenan: Heart; often used as a term of endearment.

Concept

Abelas: Sorrow; to be sorry.

Aravel: A wagon used by the Dalish; also a physical and spiritual path, a journey with purpose. Humans call them "landships."

Atish’an: Peace.

Athim: Humility.

Bellanaris: Eternity.

Din'an: Death; end.

Din'anshiral: A journey of death.

Dirth: A term for knowledge or secrets; tell; speak.citation needed

Enasalin: Victory.

Enansal: Blessing.

Enaste: Favor.

Halani: Help.

Hamin: Rest.

Harellan: Trickster; used by the Dalish to mean "traitor to one's kin".

Melana: Time.

Melanada: All time.

Melava: Time;

Revas: Freedom.

Shiral: Journey.

Sulahn'nehn: Rejoice; joy.

Sulevin: Purpose.

Vir: Way; we.

Weapons/Equipment

Assan: Arrow.

Bor'assan: Bow.

Felassan: Slow arrow.

Mi: Blade.citation needed

Places

Arlathan: The major city of Elvhenan, original homeland of the elves; from the phrase "ar lath’an" meaning, "This place of love".

Banalhan: A name for the Blight or its place of origin; the place of nothing.

Dirthavaren: The promise; the Elven name for the Exalted Plains.

Halamshiral: The capital of the second elven homeland in the Dales; the end of the journey.

Setheneran: Land of waking dreams; a place where the Veil is thin.

Tarasyl'an Te'las: The place where the sky was held back; Ancient Elven name for Skyhold.

Vhenas: Home.

Vir'abelasan: The place of the way of sorrows; refers to the Well of Sorrows.

Other

Aravel: A wagon used by the Dalish; also a physical and spiritual path, a journey with purpose. Humans call them "landships."

Banalhan: A name for the Blight or its place of origin; the place of nothing.

Elgar'arla: Spirit-trap; a binding circle to hold a spirit or demon.

Eluvian: Mirror; literally "seeing glass."

Mi'durgen: Diamond; literally 'blade stone'.

Adjective

Eth: Safe.citation needed

Mirthadra: Honored.

Sa: One; one more.

Shem: Quick.

Tan: Three.

Then: Awake; alert.citation needed

Verb

Abelas: Sorrow; to be sorry.

Dirth: A term for knowledge or secrets; tell; speak.citation needed

Dirthara: Learn;

Dirthera: To tell tales.

Enfenim: To fear.

Ghilana: To guide.

Ghilas: To go.

Harel: To trick or deceive;

Him: Become.

Las: Grant; give.

Lasa ghilan: Grant/give guidance.

Lath: Love of being; to be in love.

Numin: Cry.

Nuvenin: Say, as in “as you say”.

Samahl: Laugh.

Somniar: To dream.

Sulahn'nehn: Rejoice; joy.

Sulahn: Sing.

Uthenera: The name of the ancient practice of immortal elves who would "sleep" once they tired of life; immortal; waking sleep; literally "eternal waking dream".citation needed

Pronoun

Ar: First person pronoun; I, me.

Mala: Your.

Mir: My.

Var: Our.

Vir: Way; we.

Ect

Banal: Never.

Dar: To be.citation needed

In: In.

Ir: I am.

Iras: Where.

Irassal: Wherever.

La: And.

Na: Is.

Pre/Suffix

-an: Suffix indicating place or location.

Da: Diminutive prefix; small.

Idioms

Andaran atish’an: "Enter this place in peace." A formal elven greeting.

Aneth ara: A sociable or friendly greeting, more commonly used among the Dalish themselves rather than with outsiders.

Ara seranna-ma: A way to excuse oneself, such as after a sneeze or belch.

Banal nadas: Nothing is known for certain./Not necessarily.

Boranehn: Lost joy.

Dareth shiral: farewell; literally "Safe journey."

Enasal: Joy in triumph over loss; a variation of joyful relief.

Falon’Din enasal enaste: A prayer for the dead.

Fen'Harel enansal: The Dread Wolf's blessing.

Fen'Harel ma ghilana: "Dread Wolf guides you." Indicates someone being misled.

Halam'shivanas: The sweet sacrifice of duty.

Hellathen: Noble struggle.

Ir abelas: I am sorry.

Lathbora viran: Roughly translated as "the path to a place of lost love," a longing for a thing one can never really know.

Nadas: Inevitability; something that must be; used as an expression of obligation, i.e. "must".

Ma nuvenin: As you say.

Ma vhenan: My heart; sometimes shortened simply to vhenan, "heart"; a term of endearment.

Ma serannas: My thanks./Thank you.

Mana. Ma halani: Help me.

Mythal'enaste: Mythal's favor.

Penshra! Ghilas vellathan!: Politely translated as "I prefer that you remain close."

Revasan: The place where freedom dwells.

Sahlin: Now; is come.

Sa'vunin: One more day.

Solas: Pride; to stand tall.

Solasan: A prideful place.

Suledin: The concept of finding strength in enduring loss or pain; endure.

Tel'abelas: I'm not sorry.

Telanadas: Nothing is inevitable.

Var lath vir suledin!: Our love will endure

Vir enasalin!: We will win!

Vir sumeil: We are close.

Commands/Threats/Curses

Bellanaris Din'an Heem: "Make you dead."

Dirthara-ma: "May you learn." Used as a curse.

Fenedhis: Meaning officially undefined as of yet; a common curse.

Fenedhis lasa: Meaning officially undefined as of yet. A common curse.

Fen'Harel ma halam: "Dread Wolf ends you." A threat.

Garas: Come.

Garas quenathra: "Why are you here?/Why have you come?" Spoken by the voices of the Vir'abelasan

Masal din'an: A threat, meaning unknown.

Na abelas: You'll be sorry.

Na din'an sahlin!: Your death is come!

Na melana sahlin: Your time is come.

Specific Sentences

Ar lasa mala revas: "You are free." More literally "I give you your freedom."

Ar lath ma, vhenan: "I love you, heart/my heart"

Ar-melana dirthavaren. Revas vir-anaris: Fen'Harel’s secret greeting. Meaning unknown.

Atish'all Vir Abelasan: "Enter the path of the Well of Sorrows."

Dirth ma banal. Mar solas ena mar din: "You have learned nothing. Your pride will be your death/downfall." A Dalish saying.

Dirth ma, harellan. Ma banal enasalin. Mar solas ena mar din: Roughly means: "Your pride is responsible for everything that has gone wrong; you will die alone."

Ir abelas, ma vhenan: "I am filled with sorrow for your loss, my heart."

Ir tel'him: I'm me again.

Ma banal las halamshir var vhen: You do nothing to further our people.

Ma harel, da’len: You lie, child.

Ma harel lasa!: You lied to me.

Ma ghilana mir din'an: Guide me into death.

Ma melava halani: You helped me.

Mala suledin nadas: Now you must endure.

Malas amelin ne halam: I hope you find a new name.

Melana en athim las enaste: Now let humility grant favor.

Sulevin ghilana hanin: Roughly translates to "purpose guides to glory". This is an inscription on the back of the Dalish shield called "The Path to Glory".

Sylaise enaste var aravel. Lama, ara las mir lath. Bellanaris.: Dalish marriage vows.

Tel garas solasan: Come not to a prideful place.

#dragon age inquistor #lavellan #inquisitor lavellan #da2 #dai #dragon age 2 #dragon age #elven

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inhuman-obey-me · 11 months

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I wonder…… would it be actually possible for an angel and a demon to have offspring? And even then what it would be like? I don’t remember if there’s anything like that mentioned in the game, and considering they’re like, mortal enemies maybe in the bible lore I doubt that realistically there would be any answer apart from “no” but like……… imagine an angel/devil child in om and what it could mean for the three realms👀

Interesting question, since theoretically angel/demon physiology should be some kind of similar/compatible, but our answer is pretty definitively no, they could not have offspring together.

We have talked a bit previously about where we think angels and demons respectively come from in our Three Realms Headcanons post many moons ago, but here's a quick recap of the relevant parts:

All angels are created by their "Father" aka God; there is no concept of pregnancy or fertility amongst angels because God personally creates each of them.

Unlike angels, who are each created by God, some demons -- especially minor/lower ones -- are born through the manifestation of humans’ sins and negative energy.

Mid-tier and high level demons can be created through various means, including but not limited to sex. However, sex and pregnancy do not work the same way for demons as they do for humans. All demons involved have to consciously imbue themselves with magic that will make them fertile and guarantee conception; otherwise they are sterile by default.

This process also isn’t limited to a pair of male/female demons - multiple demons of whatever gender can contribute to the conception of a demon baby, and the child will take traits from every parent involved.

Other mid- and high-tier demon births can come from ceremonies, rituals, magic, etc.

We know that, canonically, the angels all call each other Brother and Sister, and all of them refer to God as Father as it is implied he is the one who created each of them. We also know that, as Simeon himself describes, "Lucifer and his brothers" were always a more close-knit group than how other angels interacted and they as a unit were their own separate thing. Additionally, it has been implied that angels do not necessarily get created as babies; although there are many "when you're older" comments made towards Luke, Asmodeus talks about the first Asmo Night being something like 1 week after his creation. Together, this all implies that none of them otherwise have "biological" families that that gave birth to them, and none of them can be parents either, as only God can create angels. Though to be clear, this isn't an "angels can't have sex" statement, only "angels can't have babies"!

Now, arguably since our headcanons for the demon side of births do include magical ceremonies and angels do have magic, there could perhaps be angel magic contributed into the birth of a demon. However, we also know that Mammon has suggested that angel blessings could kill a demon like him. Therefore, it would seem like rather than helping to create a new demon, it would hurt the potential demon baby or cancel out the demon magic in that process.

As for what a demon/angel child would mean for the OM world if one could be born, well, that's basically answered by MC's existence! Season 2 basically revolves all around the idea that MC has both angel magic from Lilith and demon magic from the pacts. And, well, Season 2 treats it as a deeply unstable combination that in fact threatens the safety of all three realms. So, maybe it's a good thing if there can't be any children born between angels and demons!

#once again us at every opportunity: god's an asshole #that three realms headcanons post is a primer for how we approach OM stuff haha #obey me #obey me!#obey me swd #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me nightbringer #obey me worldbuilding #obey me celestial realm #obey me devildom #obey me headcanons #ask and ye shall be answered

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doodlegraveyard · 9 months

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Could you explain the sorcerers a bit more to me? I'm not familiar with DnD. Do they draw power from the creatures that patron? Or are you a witch until you find a patron? And that's an official thing to do right? So are there a lot of witches that could be sorcerers but they don't have the resources?

Hmm…….kind of??

Basically what warlocks and clerics in D&D have in common is that they get their power from a relationship they have with an external force - a god in the case of a cleric, and a demon/devil/fae/eldritch abomination for warlocks. Their powers are contingent on the magic user fulfilling their end of the bargain, basically - clerics have an oath and warlocks have a pact/contract, and failure to adhere can result in the god/patron punishing the user by nerfing some of their power or even breaking the connection entirely

My concept for how I’m structuring the magic system for this rewrite really relies on being able to juxtapose fairy vs witch, which left the wizards as a weird third thing that I don’t really think canon has a guiding principal for the category other than ‘any of the men ones who do magic are wizards’ which I kind of find annoying and doesn’t work because I am making fairy/witch status gender agnostic.

((I accidentally wrote too much oop))

This gets into the whole theory of how magic has to work in this world, which is still getting worked out, but basically every living person in the magical universe has a potential to do, at least a tiny bit of magic - because everyone has a spark of the great dragon that gave them the gift of life. However that’s not really enough to do much - a normal persons life force will normally never give them energy to do more than really minor little charms, and even that would take a lot of time and dedication as well as just natural talent. But basically most people’s energy is used up just making them an alive person with a soul so externalizing it is really hard. That’s normal, and people like that, even with minor magics aren’t really considered anything.

Fairies are people born with an unusually exceptional store of magic. They naturally generate more energy, to the point that they not only Can they do noticeable magic, but they Must - a fairy that doesn’t learn to use their magic is at risk to start using it accidentally, and catastrophically. They literally have too much juice and need to let it off. Wings are a physical manifestation of their magic and the signs they will develop wings are visible from birth, so future-fairies are easily identifiable

Witches, basically, have the normal human amount of magic (ie not much) but draw energy from their surroundings. In extremes, witches can drain the energy from plants, animals, other people - which is part of the reason they’re often reviled. But a lot of the time that’s not the case - however society fears them on that principal. They ‘take what isn’t theirs’ because they weren’t born fortunate enough to be a fairy, is basically how a lot of people see it. Witches have been around forever so of course there are traditions and spells and rituals to get more energy passed down in areas where there are enough witches to do so, but also, plenty of young witches start instinctively feeding off their environment completely accidentally, which kind of draws into question if people are ‘born witches’  You’re right in that sorcerers and patrons imply status and resources - you could definitely have a witch who wants to become a sorcerer, but in this world its likely if you were doing enough magic to be considered a witch already, most Sorcerer Orders probably wouldn’t take you? And a lot of witches wouldn’t be interested in what sorcerers have going on, because I imagine their rites are like, a religious order. You are basically dedicating your life to the order, and making an oath that will permanently bind you to your Source, and if you betray your Oath the order can sever you and leave you without any power anyway.

Basically in a world what’s classified Fairies as people who are Supposed to Have Power and Witches as people who are Not Supposed to have power but Take it anyway probably for nefarious selfish evil reasons, Sorcerers Orders were created as a way to have a system to be able to get more people with magic who were a part of and controlled by the social order (rather than Suspicious and Outside the social order)

#winx club #youmaycallmeyourhighness #asks #i am so sorry for this ramble #i am gonna have to remember to move this over to the doc to clarify the situation

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zestyaahbutler · 3 months

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ALRIGHT YA GALS GOT QUESTIONS

LOTTE:

🍒 [CHERRY] Who is your OC's perfect companion?

OKSANA:

🍓 [STRAWBERRY] How do they feel about 'cute' things?

babygirl ROMAN:

🍍 [PINEAPPLE] Pineapple on pizza or not?

LOTTE/OKSANA/babygirl ROMAN

🥑 [AVACADO] What will they never back down about, even if it makes them seem bad?

🥔 [POTATO] What do they have that others see as a flaw, but they don't care about?

Wow im super late to this ;; ty Caes for sending me something. Everyone else who sees this will be in the dark. Basic synopsis is These three ocs are all Hellsing ocs. They do not have any direct affect on the plot of Hellsing really. They are based in the same world and I do have interactions before the canon timeline and afterwards.

They are part of the Orthodox Church. Based in Russia, it’s a similar organization to the Vatican but with different practices and approaches to how they deal with conflict. If anyone has any questions about what it is, I could make an official introduction post that explains that and characters.

In short, Oksana is a scuffed regenerator who oversees everything. By 1999 she is a 24 year old girl which is very young for someone in her position. God complex character who worked as a child soldier.

Lotte is her not biological “mother” figure that helped train her for monster hunting when she was young. She isn’t the primary reason why Oksana is the way she is but definitely plays a part. They do both care and love eachother as a mother/daughter type of bond. It is just their definitions of love are very different for both good and mostly bad reasons. She is an old woman, like 74 by 1999. She was a professional freelance exorcist through her younger and older years only to end up working in the church as a small job that got a little fucky wucky later. She’s a German girl and is a host for a demon named Asmodeus who is mostly peaceful. She has one of the longest running cases of demonic possession but it’s a very symbiotic, mostly mutually beneficial relationship.

Roman is an advanced regenerator, think Anderson level of combat but without the disciplined personality. He’s a charming Russian soldier with a happy-go-lucky attitude that was trapped into his position after the soviet-afghan war. They all met eachother in 1987.

These are characters I ramble to my friends about. Anyways, to your question Caes.

Answers under the cut

[LOTTE]

Who is your OC’s perfect companion?🍒

That would be Asmodeus for sure. Asmodeus doesn’t have a gender, so when I talk about them, I switch pronouns sometimes. Generally I say he for simplicity but they aren’t a man. Asmodeus is one of the king of demons, demon of lust. But is generally treated more as a concept than a set being. He is a collection of consciousness. When his host succumbs to him and he absorbs him, he loses his sense of self really because that is another soul. Asmodeus fell in love with his previous host but it didn’t work out because they ended up dying and being apart of him.

He wanted a host, not to take over humanity, but to experience being human. He wants to experience the pleasures of life. He wants companionship more than anything. Lotte met him in the early 60s in a bar. She didn’t know how to deal with him as a vastly powerful demon. In a last resort of what she could think of, she challenged him to a game of poker. If she lost, he could consume her soul, if she won then she would be his host but would have to help her. Lotte has a terrible poker face. But still somehow won.

They both love each other dearly. It’s similar to a married couple. Asmodeus refers to Lotte as their wife. Asmodeus is flirtatious but is very hostile towards Lotte’s partners. She did have a long-term relationship with Walter before Asmodeus came into the picture. Asmodeus did not take kindly to her partner for a while. His attempts were juvenile ones such as messing with the radio when they were on a date or chucking books at her boyfriend.

He was there after the end of this long-term relationship. Comforted her through it all. He saw it as natural. Relieved that he had her all to himself. Asmodeus has the capabilities of suppressing her emotions. So it was easier for her to move on. She does still experience that loss but he allows it to be more comfortable. Same with suppressing parts of her past. Asmodeus loves Lotte. He knows her thoughts, her feelings, her likes, her dislikes. He knows her fears. He wants her safe. He lets her enjoy life how she wants to. There are only a few select times where he will act out of bounds. It is only to protect her or what he sees as the best decision for her for survival. Lotte loves Asmodeus too. It is a very sensual relationship where they both see one another and accept what is there.

What will they never back down about, even if it makes them seem bad?🥑

Killing Oksana. She feels that it’s her duty as the person who trained her to take her out. It is also a final wish from Oksana’s scientist (not biological). Most see her as at least questionable in her motives or even as a bad mother. Lotte does prolong how long it takes to get rid of Oksana because she cares about her. It makes her feel sick for doing that. She still sees Oksana as the same little girl but too far gone. Oksana has very extreme ideals that could put the world at war and ruin the ecosystems for monsters that live in the world.

What do they have that others see as a flaw but they don’t care about?🥔

Lotte has a tendency to fall off the face of the earth and not talk to people for a while. She traveled throughout her life so she thinks of it as normal. Usually she comes back with people like how she left them. Unless they were on bad terms. It does cause others to assume she doesn’t care about them or that she’s irresponsible. For example, She did this to her long-term partner after they broke up but still sent the heir of Hellsing family holiday gifts because she was still on good terms with Arthur. She then random visited about one decade after breaking up with him, asked him out on a date, only to inform him that she is going on a big job and could die. Then falls off the face of the earth again.

Ouch…

[OKSANA]

How do they feel about ‘cute’ things?🍓

She loves them. As a little girl she didn’t have toys to play with. She was brought up in a calculated way and wasn’t expected to act like a child. The only people that treated her like one was Lotte and Roman. Lotte would buy her toys and show her how to do her hair, help her learn about what kind of fashion she likes, and developing her interests. When she got older and she became more influential in her position, she began expressing herself as a young girl. She is a natural red head but dyed her hair blonde.

She enjoys dressing in cute outfits, fur coats, mini-skirts, etc. She does love stuffed animals and dolls. She does have a fondness for animals. Especially dogs. They seem to love unconditionally to her.

What will they never back down about, even if it makes them seem bad?🥑

Keeping Lotte around. She’ll stop at nothing to stay with her for as long as long as she is alive. She is very attached to her. It doesn’t matter how Lotte feels. If she has to make Lotte unable to leave or say anything, then she’s willing to do it. But it’s an extreme that she would never hope for. She does love being able to interact and talk to her as they usually do.

What do they have that others see as a flaw but they don’t care about?🥔

Oksana purposefully will make herself come off as dumber than she actually is. She puts up a fun/girly front with no real depth. She is polite on the surface but is not afraid to retaliate or hurt people for her own gang. She is able to switch up very easily. So most that know her for longer than a single conversation will know that it is a thin front for a girl who is ready to crush anyone in her way.

[ROMAN]

Pineapple on pizza or not?🍍

Yeah he could do pineapple on pizza. He has had weirder dishes. Especially pizza in Europe. He would enjoy Pineapple on pizza. He would want to put on some form of spice on it. Chili Oil Maybe.

What will they never back down about, even if it makes them seem bad?🥑

Living for himself. Lotte brought him out of his cynical ideals during the war. He thought he would be comfortable enough when he went back to Russia if they won the war. When the war was a brutal and embarrassing loss, he had to go home to nothing but then found out he couldn’t even live a normal life. Lotte had found him conspiring with an American spy and he had found out about the supernatural, Orthodox Church, etc. He wasn’t allowed to waste away as a war veteran even. He was trapped into being a soldier for them. He quickly found that if he is going to have that kind of life, to do whatever he can to enjoy it. Be nice to people, buy that lottery ticket, take any drug, flirt with any girl even if he doesn’t have a chance, etc. He comes off as stupid and an incompetent to anyone who takes him at face value but has depth underneath that. He only found that early on, that happiness is made up of tons of short experience so he tries to have as many as he can.

What do they have that others see as a flaw but they don’t care about?🥔

He has a weakness towards woman. Definitely a ladies man but in a girlfailure way. Incredibly sweet and wouldn’t do anything to make the other party uncomfortable but he’ll put himself in danger to be taken advantage of by a girl if she is cute enough and gives him pity. He doesn’t mind too much. He enjoys experiencing love, even if it’s short lived. It’s just to know the person and feel known himself.

End of my rant. Thank you for the question. Also thanks to anyone who actually read all of this??? You’re insane if you are reading this. Feel free to ask questions about them! :)

#hellsing #hellsing ultimate #hellsing oc #Charlotte Antionette Edilweiss #Lotte Edilweiss #Roman #Oksana #zesty yaps forever #oc ask #hellsing orthodox church

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bookwyrminspiration · 9 months

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finished a reread of the all for the game trilogy by nora sakavich, back to reading a chorus of dragons once again- kihrin is FIFTEEN???? his dad is DARZIN D'MON????? WHAT. HOW DOES HE GET OUT OF THIS ONE tell me he gets out of this one (don't actually tell me i am just dismayed. darzin is such a dick). but also w reading the futurish-not-present so interesting to learn a bit abt the gods and their dwelling places AND ALSO to see him struggle again with xaltorath, which. just paused for a minute to run back through and make sure i wasn't mixing the storylines up--xaltorath IS present in his mind even when he's a slave again on an island with a bunch of snake people man i love continuity of trauma. also i am so sorry dude ola may not be dead but you can bet she is not doing great!

FUCK I tried to answer all your asks in order but I missed this first one. Also btw I think you're about half my inbox at the moment.

BUT YEAH!! You've finished book one by now so you know Darzin's actually his older brother not his dad, but either way this boy has HORRIBLE luck with family. Brothers in particular. Darzin is like genuinely so unredeemable. his character is a dick and that's it. he lives a dick he dies a dick no one mourns him not even his own father. rest in agony, you wretch

and Xaltorath!! god I love Xaltorath. yeah the 'demon disconnected from the human concept of gender who presents as different genders and uses different pronouns IN CANON' does have a lot to do with it, but also just all the mystery around it...what's she doing...what's he know...the way it interacts with all the characters!! And how Kihrin reacts to him and confronts trauma, so so nice. The things each of the characters have been through have a lasting impact! And we see that, and how it's fucked them up--how they react, the choices they make, how they feel about themselves. Thinking about Qown and Senera in particular like my GOD

"ola may not be dead" famous last words </3

#a chorus of dragons #quil's queries #soryasongsaa #long post #also i LOVE the difference between 15 yo and 20-ish yo kihrin #we can see the maturity #the growth #how he's changed #directly juxtaposed #thinking about how he acted in book 1 vs the later books it's so obvious and real and I love it #i love basically everything about this books actually

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villains4hire · 1 year

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Zeena (Sonic Series)

1 - I'm gonna be honest. This is all the characters I know from the series: Sonic, Knuckles, Tails, Rogue, Amy, E-102 Gamma, Big the Cat, Cream, and Doctor Robotnik, his stupid robots from that dumb show I liked as a kid and Shadow. Then the Zeti gang, I do not remember anyone else but my dumb lizards and the Sonic's original crew mostly. Then I guess Surge and Kitsunami as I thought their story was cool. I am open to other characters within the series, however, as god did they make a lot of characters over the years.

2 - This character while capable of extreme evil such as even enslaving Sonic potentially or Tails? She mostly just goes along with things and is okay with a lot of messed up stuff happening. So be warned if that's an issue as she's a darker character for Sonic in concept.

3 - This character is open to shipping but she's uh, not going to change herself as a person. If that's an issue for your character? Then it simply won't work, she might become more passive in terms of evil, but brutality wise no.

4 - This character is egotistical enough that if she likes you and you basically play kiss ass? She will probably help you adventure, even if she doesn't care what you're doing. I will probably have her on 'trained' as a tag so she can keep up with Sonic if with a stronger character like him. As I do consider Tails, Sonic, Knuckles, Shadow, Rogue, Amy etc all on levels ahead of Zeena, but mostly because she doesn't put forth in effort. Her species is usually just innately that powerful from the harsh environment, but the Deadly Six are exceptional and so is she. I say this mostly because Sonic is well, Sonic along with his friends that all go 'Super' at some point or another. I'd be fine with her absorbing some good amount of energy to go a form of 'Zeti Super' if you wanted a battle of some kind to that scale.

5 - I am rusty with the lore of her game but remember mostly what happens and rewatched some things, read a few comics, wikis. I more or less have an idea of what I'm going to do.

Just gonna use the canon design, honestly? Yup, even if Lost World sucked for a lot of it. This is one thing they got right, especially if my friggin' brain worms came back after seeing her and the personality years later in the remake/resurgence. I am very canon compliant in this instance for this character but I have a lot of my own flare as noted below.

Do I want them to die: Hrm, no I don't think it's really needed for the series? Robotnik comes back constantly, so I can't see why she can't. Will I have/get icons: I have them, they were a pain to get. Tag: zeti vained (default, multiverse and canon) - trained z (See Powers Below) Age: An adult but her species doesn't age after reaching maturity. Sex: AMAB Gender: Trans Female, she's the only girl of the Deadly Six and seemingly one of the few 'Females'? Soooo yeah. She's trans. She/he, open to the idea of male wife or otherwise. Race: Zeti (Lizard-Ogre/Like Alien Species with great Variance, but mostly reptilian. They've been noted as 'Demons' or based off of Oni) Sexuality: Anyone that is up to her standards and also willing to absolutely kneel to her. But herself always comes first... right? Personality traits: Self-absorbed. Extreme Perfectionist. Extremely narcissistic, lazy, even if she's considered one of the 'stronger' of the group. While she's rather lazy even still later on? She at least trains enough to go head-to-head with Sonic or one of his friends solo in my own fanon. Cold Hearted. Cruel. Extremely selfish. Indifferent. Is rather serious when capable. Fashion savvy, extremely vain. Flirty even while fighting, likes to talk while fighting. Terrifying temper at times if pushed enough. Sadistic, malicious, likes pain. Vengeful. Sassy. Likes to argue, makes fun of people and be REALLY mean about it. Likes to gossip. Calm, stand-offish. Distant. Extremely Loyal if earned. Might be willing to get close enough to be held if she likes you. Loving isn't her strong-suit, however, but can in her own way. Enjoys food, entertainment, certain machines or even games, though... does cheat using her Zeti powers if she's losing bad enough. Enjoys lounging. Slight disdain towards masculine figures. Bit of a wanderer to chill. Lonely deep down at times. Does enjoy a bit of fun. Likes good insults to people. Tends to like friendly aggression back and bonds that way and can become really handsy, it's a specific thing, however. It's different from pissing her off. If she likes you? She will probably pester you, tease, eat all your food, laze in your house without asking, bother you randomly, look through your things. But she's also down to murder people for you no questions asked, go on adventures even if both of you might die, then also actually try to save you? Mostly because you're 'hers' at that point, regardless of relationship, even if not enslaved to her. Granted, expect to massage that ego every step of the way. Mental traits: That of a Zeti. A rather alien mindset, albeit is somewhat relatable though brutal. Physical traits: 3'5 canonically. Has no form of breasts and her 'clothes' is actually just her body, apparently. I'm just as surprised as you are, but that's apparently her skin/scales. Her scales are tough but extremely smooth. Her 'hair' is actually that of feathery down rather than actual hair, it's incredibly fluffy if touched, but if torn or ripped? The fibers penetrate the skin, hide and clog up even machines and then her hair quickly grows back near instantly, but also does piss her off as well. Powers: Most of this is canon powers and then flavoring her in-game specific powers with more illustration, with the exception of 'trained z'. Then going off her wiki as well.

1. Zeti Innate Anatomy and Powers: All Zeti's have the following abilities: Magnetism Manipulation, such as manipulating robots, electronics and so on, taking control of them with ease. Enhanced Durability, Speed, Strength, Jump. Flight. Then a unique form of energy projection for each Zeti. Then just certain sub-powers depending on what it is. (If your character is a robot, machine 2. Zeena's form of energy manipulation: Despite her size? She has extreme physical strength, much more than one would expect, along with speed and dexterity. Using large metal balls much bigger than herself attached to green tethers to rock, roll and move at extreme speeds. These green energy tethers can be manipulated, controlled and absorb energy or latch onto objects, people to use as a weapon, smash, or even energy-whip people.

3. Zeena's minor unique powers: the ability to move through ice, snow and water as if simply flowing through it even if not fracturing ice for example. Assuming she does not need to breathe for this. Then the ability to move at extreme speeds though I believe Sonic is faster but she can keep up with him, mostly from what I'm basing on her being able to plant bombs in an area in a matter of seconds.

4. Weaponry Use: she will use bombs, traps and other things, it seems in canon in other instances such as the comics. Though they're not her main form of attacking if a sudden fight breaks out. Then those claws aren't just for show, granted, she hates using them on anything other than flesh or hide due to not wanting to scratch them to ruin her 'nail-job'.

Trained Z: this is specifically if she trains being able to keep up and even go head to head with Sonic or Sonic-Level Enemies after the events of Lost Worlds if by herself. 5. Enhanced Energy Manipulation: Zeena using a combo of her deceptive strength then energy tethers and metal balls? Will form a flail of sorts that consists of two to four of them and manipulates their spatial trajectory, then using them to slam, smash while also retaining her speeds and swinging them around. Then also using her innate abilities to have the tethers shoot out, link and form something like that of a web from the balls, then the balls capable of linking to surfaces, moving, and detaching. She can also choose to have them all separate in general, slamming to have them shoot like that of a cannon in great force in all directions while controlling their movement. Then usually, she keeps her other hand free to control the tethers, manipulate them and also latch and whip people to ensnare them or beat them down. In other words, to sum it up: a tether flail that can be used to make a green energy battlefield to whip, trap and brutalize her opponents through actual torture and precise brutality. Then the metal/hard-material balls acting as the flail heads or actual she will pin-ball you to death. Motivations: Chill. Eat Good Things. Have Fun. See the next day. Laze about. Be perfect in every way. Maybe be held. Backstory: The wiki's backstory and then anything else? Well, you'll just have to get her to tell you herself.

#zeti vained #trained z #bios #bios save

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a-simple-spiders-oc-dump · 1 year

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some basics about the ocs from The Realm/Universe 1

UPDATE!!!! AS OF AUGUST 2023, THIS PAGE NO LONGER MATCHES THE CURRENT CANON. THE MAJORITY OF THE INFORMATION IS STILL RELEVANT, BUT CONSIDER THIS PAGE UNDER CONSTRUCTION FOR THE TIME BEING!! I WILL FIX IT EVENTUALLY I PROMISE

(so I learned today that pages don't show up on tumblr mobile even if you link directly to them??? which means the page I spent two solid days making that clarified the concepts of Universe 1 and described (nearly) every character in the story was completely inaccessible to people on mobile???? tumblr is a functional website, lol. I'm copying over all the info into this post so everyone can see it now - the page will still be there for those who look at my blog on desktop tho!!)

(info under the cut!!)

The Realm/Universe 1: Basically, a very young goddess fucked up when making herself a friend. Said friend started a war by making a pact with interdimensional demons and sacrificing her face, the goddess was too young to make herself an army to fight said war, so she started letting dead teenagers into her world to fight for her. This was, by all accounts, a terrible decision.

Notable Terms:

Authors - Someone with power over a Realm. Name is a shortened version of the word “authority”. They look like normal people in their home worlds, but are reality-warping gods in their Realms. They can either be born this way (Founding Authors) or can be turned into an Author by a different Author (Inherited Authors). If an Author dies and hasn’t selected anyone to be their ‘heir’, their Realm crumbles and dies. Has some variations - Alice, for example, refers to herself as an ‘Authoress’ as a more fancy and feminine version of the title - though ‘Author’ itself is considered a gender-neutral term.

Realms - Miniature universes created by an Author’s birth, sometimes considered to be the Author’s twin. They are sentient to some extent, though are so different from most lifeforms that they cannot communicate aside from puppeteering creatures (usually Creations) to do their bidding. Their Author(s) keeps them stable, and if the Author dies, they do too. The majority of the story takes place in one of these Realms (exceptions being prequel short stories).

Creations - Living creatures made by Authors to serve a specific role in their Realms. Think of them as biological robots. Creations are given a 'purpose’ by their Author that forms the backbone of their identities, which can range from specific tasks they must fulfil to simply live however they choose. Aside from that, they can look like practically anything.

Breaks - Hive monsters that spawn in the void between worlds, meant to be one part training and one part punishment for Authors who break the Unspoken Rules (which are unspoken because no one really knows what they are). They can form pacts with Real creatures as well as Creations to grant them powers in exchange for the individual becoming the focal point of their hive mind, and want nothing more than to devour Realms from the insides out.

Characters in The Realm/Universe 1 include: (copied from my main blog lmao)

some warnings: mentions of death, abuse, school shootings, human experimentation, murder, bullying, car crashes and suicide. none of these will be discussed in depth (outside of the death part, since I will be mentioning how each of Alice’s soldiers died), and will only be briefly mentioned, but I felt it was worth adding this warning nonetheless. let me know if there’s anything else I should add to this warnings list, and I’ll make sure to add that warning both to this and any future piece that may contain that particular content.

(also, please note that even after all this time, a lot of these guys don’t have fully solid designs - I’m more of a writer than an artist and character designs don’t mean much when you’re not using a visual medium lol. I do want to give those ocs with less solid looks permanent designs in the future, but for now???? ehhhhhhhhhhhh I’d rather focus on the writing part lmao)

Lydia:

Age: 16

Role in the story: Protagonist

Appearance: Chubby girl with long, wavy blonde hair, warm-toned beige skin and blue eyes. Around 5'5-5'8. Wears a long, loose grey t-shirt with cut-out shoulders and a distinctive blue butterfly design with diamond-like wings on the bottom-left corner. This matches her prized necklace, which always hangs around her neck on a long chain, and her hairclip that pins the left side of her hair out of her eyes.

Rapid-fire personality info: -The latest person to get trapped in the Realm

-Wanted to be a therapist when she grew up and loves to read books on psychology and mental health for fun

-Very dedicated to helping others, even at the expense of her own health - definitely fits the “paragon” archetype and will do anything if she thinks it’s for the good of those around her

-Good at reading people - can be a surprisingly good liar when she wants to be due to this

-Bad at hiding her emotions, and cries any time she gets too emotional in general

-Just wants things to be okay and for everyone to be safe and sound. This is a much more complicated goal than it sounds, but by god is she gonna do her best to achieve it

-Has the ability to see the memories of others through her dreams. Big side effect is that whatever memory she brings up will be re-lived by the memory’s owner while she does so, and considering almost everyone in the Realm has some sort of trauma, she needs to be careful what she makes them re-live

-Died in a car crash

Gamma:

Age: 8 (behaves as though he’s an adult)

Role in the story: Secondary character, a mentor figure for Lydia; an integral figure in the backstory (also basically a secondary protagonist at this point - if the story isn’t from Lydia’s perspective, it’s probably from Gamma’s instead)

Appearance: Tall (around 6'7-6'10), extremely pale (to the point where other characters’ narrations have remarked he looks like he’s never gone out in the sun in his life), and muscular by necessity for his job. Has black hair that’s always slicked back to his head and golden eyes that never blink with noticeable dark circles underneath. Wears a black suit with a white dress shirt and golden tie underneath. While the suit repairs itself after an attack, the lapels and wrists of his sleeves are permanently tattered due to the amount of battles he’s been in. His skin on his arms and legs is a slightly different shade from the skin on his head and torso.

Rapid fire info: -A Creation who acts as Alice’s bodyguard and assistant; has done a really good job at keeping her alive considering the circumstances

-Also in charge of the transportation of the dead teenagers from their world to the Realm; most of the soldiers don’t like associating with him due to this fact, and a good chunk of them outright despise him

-Reserved, serious, and excessively secretive

-Constantly researching things like anthropology, sociology, psychology and history just for fun, since he finds Earth absolutely fascinating

-One of the few people Alice respects as an equal, due to their long history together, which according to Gamma, includes her saving his life numerous times

-Has been through Some Shit before the wars even began

-Blames himself when things go wrong, almost as a reflex

-Seems to have some odd powers that it’s assumed Alice gave him, since he’s much stronger than a normal human and has a tendency to know things he really has no right knowing (this is due to mind-reading powers he can’t fully turn off. fun fact - he thought reading minds was a Normal Human Experience and got so freaked out when he realized it wasn’t that it led to him suppressing the ability as much as he could manage. Some whispers still come through, but he’s trying his best.)

-Though his main goal is to protect Alice and the Realm, he also wants to keep the soldiers alive, since he seems to hold them in very high regard. This doesn’t always work out.

-Basically became one of Lydia’s mentors by accident and is secretly terrified of disappointing or harming her in any way, since she’s one of the few humans who actually seems to be alright with having him around and he really doesn’t want to lose his only friend who isn’t a kid-shaped Eldritch Abomination made of wax-adjacent flesh.

-this man has so much going on with him I swear to fuck. he’ll probably be in a LOT of the prompt fills lmao

Mikayla:

Age: 4 (behaves as though she’s in her late teens/early twenties)

Role in the story: Primary antagonist; an integral figure in the backstory

Appearance: Has replaced her face with a white, porcelain mask decorated with red swirls, and does not appear to have any hair. Her skin tone matches Alice’s - pale like candle wax - though it’s mostly covered by a long, hooded, ivory cloak and the black, veined bodysuit underneath that holds her body together as she regenerates. She’s probably around 5'8-5'11.

Rapid fire info: -Alice’s Creation, meant to be the perfect friend; turned on her after learning about the massive power imbalance they had, along with a certain incident that happened several years before her creation.

-Cut off her face to seal her pact with the Breaks, who gave her regenerative powers and limited ability to use portals; now wears a porcelain mask as a replacement face, and uses similar doll-like prosthetics when her limbs need to regenerate, more for the sake of beauty than anything

-Extremely manipulative, and does not take being told “no” well

-Switches personas on a whim, going from calm and collected to rage-fueled screaming on a hair trigger when she thinks it will keep people in line, all the while feeling nothing but calm boredom

-A massive control freak; cannot stand when her plans go awry

-Has a personal grudge against Alice, since Mikayla views Alice simply being alive as both a threat and an insult, and Gamma, since he was instrumental in stopping her original assassination attempt

Alice:

Age: 14

Role in the story: Secondary character; an integral figure in the backstory

Appearance: Takes the form of an adorable young girl the majority of the time, with skin that both looks and feels oddly reminiscent of candle wax, owlish brown eyes and straight black hair that falls to her waist. She wears an opulent, knee-length dress reminiscent of a kid’s princess/queen costume. It has a square neckline, puffed sleeves with strips of brown fabric falling to her wrists, corset lacing in the shape of a heart on her stomach, a grey sash tied around her waist in a bow on her back, and brown skirt split in the center to reveal layers of translucent yellow fabric, surrounded by gold embroidery.

Rapid fire info: -Created the Realm and has god-like powers of reality-warping and creation; she refuses to let anyone forget either of these facts.

-Childish, and acts either cheerful or annoyed about 90% of the time

-Callous and selfish, often disregarding human suffering as ‘not her problem’ despite being one of the two people bringing them to her world in the first place

-Experiments with her powers for fun, most common experiment being the creation of a living creature without really paying attention and then taking it apart while it’s still alive to see what she got wrong.

-Has a marked dislike for adults (outside of Gamma, who looks and behaves like one), refusing to allow them into her home; she’d likely do this for all humans if not for the current situation

-Hates admitting things that she sees as a blight on her reputation as an Author (i.e. caring about people, feeling emotions other than joy and rage, wanting to do things other than create, being wrong, etc.)

-Morphs into a much less friendly looking version of herself when pissed off, and is prone to having her skin melt like she’s a wax figure when sufficiently annoyed. Even in her ‘normal’ form, her skin is noticeably cold, as though she’s a living corpse, and she often grins with a few more teeth than humans should have.

-She’s basically a weird little girl given god-like powers by chance and then let loose on the multiverse

Cynthia:

Age: 17

Role in the story: Secondary character, mentor figure for Lydia; an integral figure in the backstory

Appearance: No solid outfit design just yet. (Her old outfit was designed when I was around 14/15 years old and included a t-shirt that said ’#SWAG’ on it. I wish I was joking.) What I know for now is she has olive-toned skin and a bob hair cut, dyed a dark blue/indigo, along with grey, almost silver eyes. She likely has a muscular build out of necessity, and probably wears something simple and easy to move in in case of a surprise attack.

Rapid fire info: -Co-leader of the Soldier’s Camp; also one of the very first humans in the Realm

-Used to be sweet and somewhat sarcastic but watching people die has made her withdraw to the point that she’s extremely stoic

-Asked Alice to remove her memories of her past life during the First Break War so they wouldn’t hold her back; some suspect Alice took a little more than just that

-Hard to read, and comes off as cold to most people, only opening up to Dylan since they went through the First Break War together, forming a tight bond along the way

-Focuses mostly on strategy, supplies and upkeep of the camp while Dylan takes care of the human element. Extremely practical, to the point of requesting a murphy bed for her bedroom so she could use it as an office (with her reasoning being, “there’s no point in having two separate rooms when one could serve the same purpose.”)

-Almost all the soldiers see her as the Realm’s ultimate authority figure - especially considering Dylan’s laid back attitude and Alice being… well, Alice - though some (like Morgan and Sydney) aren’t afraid to talk back to her if they feel like it

Dylan:

Age: 17

Role in the story: Secondary character, mentor figure for Lydia

Appearance: No solid design just yet. What I know for now is that he has sepia/brown skin, short hair, and mostly wears a faded blue hoodie over a black t-shirt and a pair of navy blue jeans. (Outfit might change with time)

Rapid fire info: -Co-leader of the Soldier’s Camp

-Generally a relaxed, optimistic person who does his best to keep the morale of the camp high

-Helps newcomers get settled in the Camp, and acts as mediator for disagreements; some joke that he’s essentially the camp’s HR guy, or jokingly call him the “Camp’s Counsellor”.

-Most of the younger members look up to him like an older brother, and it’s a role he seems to suit incredibly well

-Doesn’t talk about his own problems much to avoid troubling people, though most are aware that he gets severe anxiety upon hearing gunshots and will warn him if a movie will contain them or if Troy’s planning on doing target practice

-One of the few who spoke with Gamma before they died; as such, he’s one of the few soldiers who isn’t all that intimidated by his presence, and often goes to speak with Alice and Gamma on the camp’s behalf

-Used to be in the swim team in his school and played in a band with his two best friends - Tyler and Kieran - since the beginning of high school (he did guitar and backup vocals). He was also often among the top five highest-scoring students in many of his classes. Unfortunately, most of these skills and achievements are completely useless in the Realm, much to his chagrin

-Died in a school shooting

Morgan:

Age: 18

Role in the story: Secondary character

Rapid fire info: -Medic for the Soldier’s Camp

Appearance: Has albinism, so her hair is a very pale grey (long, but often pulled back into a bun, with lash-grazing bangs), her skin is pale and pinkish, and her eyes are red (which is actually very uncommon for people with albinism, but considering her spite towards Alice, they may not have started off that colour…). She’s noticeably tall compared to the others - probably around 5'10 - 6'1. She wears a plain white t-shirt with pale grey jeans under a long, burgundy cardigan that falls to the back of her knees in a silhouette similar to a lab coat. Her fingers and lips are permanently discoloured from her death.

Rapid-fire personality info: -Both a soldier and the senior of the camp’s two medics

-Had a rough childhood where she was constantly pushed to be the best that burnt her out, and the First Break War left her completely jaded

-Known for her sharp tongue, harsh criticisms of others, and tendency to estimate to newcomers’ faces how long she thinks they’ll live - usually no longer than a month - giving her a ruthless reputation

-At the same time, she is the most skilled soldier the Realm has, considering her incredible combat skill and her high amount of medical knowledge, and she works tirelessly to maintain that status

-Has an ongoing feud with Sydney due to their clashing worldviews - Morgan believing Sydney’s a complete idiot who’s destined to get herself (and possibly others) killed with her thrill-seeking, Sydney believing Morgan’s a killjoy who’s dead set on making a shitty situation even shittier, especially for the newcomers who are already in an incredibly stressful position. Neither are entirely wrong, but neither are entirely right either

-Is unlikely friends with Trinity, doing whatever she can to keep the smaller medic from getting hurt

-Isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty if it ends the war faster

-Died of hypothermia

Sydney:

Age: 16

Role in the story: Secondary character

Appearance: Has sort of amber-toned skin that’s patched with burn scars from her death, most prominently covering much of the right side of her head and almost the entirety of her hands and forearms. Since the right side of her head can’t grow much hair anymore, her short brown hair is styled into a comb-over, and she has light brown, orange-toned eyes. Wears a black leather jacket over a yellow shirt (which likely has some sort of flame pattern on it that gets covered up by the jacket) and orange shorts with spiked studs on the left side, with purposefully-ripped black leggings underneath.

Rapid fire info: -A pyromaniac and former delinquent who fights with bats and flamethrowers

-The most Chaotic Good member of the team; more than willing to give the finger to any rules in the name of a good time, especially if it helps her friends

-Despite having the most prominent death-scars of any of Alice’s soldiers, she is barely self-conscious over her scars anymore and has a whole list of shitty puns for when she catches newcomers staring at them. After all, the majority of Alice’s soldiers have scars from their deaths - if her confidence can help the younger members accept their own scars, all the better.

-An adrenaline junkie who genuinely enjoys fighting the Breaks for the rush, and is often doing stupid stunts to get that same rush during peaceful times; this kick-started her feud with Morgan

-Deals with bad situations/stress with shitty humor, or by indulging in her more destructive hobbies. Basically, she’s the “if I just keep moving at all times then my problems can never catch me!!” type.

-Helps train newcomers alongside Dylan; newcomers often see her as a cool big sister figure, but don’t tend to look up to her as much as they look up to Dylan, thanks to Sydney being far more irresponsible in general.

-Good friends with Troy and Bianca, and can often be found shirking her duties to play video games and watch movies with them

-Died in a house fire

Trinity:

Age: 13

Role in the story: Secondary character

Appearance: Looks even younger than her age, with many newcomers mistaking her for being 10 or 11. Has fawn, freckled skin, and dirty blonde hair that’s always pulled into a tight braid over her shoulder, along with deep green eyes. Wears a short/cuffed-sleeve, green button-up shirt with a darker green scarf covering her entire neck, and khaki shorts with cuffs that just barely scrape the tops of her knees.

Rapid fire info: -A girl who turned out to be a medical prodigy, brought into the Realm when they needed medics most - which is all very convenient, isn’t it? :) As of the 'present day’ in story, she’s the junior of the two medics.

-Extremely timid around people - especially strangers - due to a history of bullying, but takes comfort in helping others and is prone to showing a more confident side of herself when doing her job due to the sense of agency it provides her

-Since she’s easily the youngest and most fragile member of the camp, all of Alice’s soldiers are extremely protective of her, doing whatever they can to keep her away from danger - Morgan especially so

-Much like Lydia, she tries to help the others through their issues; however, due to their protectiveness over her, Trinity has a much harder time getting people to open up

-Tries to push Morgan to be less of an asshole; this works, but barely and only when Trinity’s around

-Very self conscious of the bruise on her neck left by her death, often hiding it with a green scarf that also acts as something of a comfort item to her

-Died after falling out of a tree

Troy:

Age: 15

Role in the story: Secondary character

Appearance: I’ll be honest, I have basically nothing for this kid. I know he probably has shaggy ginger hair, and pale, freckled skin. He’s also probably pretty scrawny. That’s it. That’s all I’ve got for now. I kind of just imagine him as your average freshman tbh, lol

Rapid fire info: -Bianca’s twin brother

-The Realm’s only marksman, due to both how close-quarters Break combat tends to be, and due to Alice not wanting to constantly be using her energy to create bullets (and also to limit the amount of people who can kill her from long-range, should that ever become a problem)

-Prefers machines and weapons to people; can often be found playing video games or doing target practice with his hunting rifle

-Has a bit of social anxiety not helped by Bianca pushing people away from the two of them

-Knows he’s a bit boring compared to his sister and their best friend (Sydney), and it bothers him constantly, but he does his best not to let it show

-Knows that Bianca has issues due to their deaths, but doesn’t know just how bad those issues are

-Generally just wants to make the best of the shitty situation he and his sister have been dropped in and stop the wars for good

-Died by being stabbed three times in the chest

Bianca:

Age: 15

Role in the story: Secondary character

Appearance: Has shoulder-length, ginger hair often pulled into two short pigtails, along with pale, freckled skin and green eyes. Wears a large headbow shaped like a bat, along with a short-sleeved, almost retro-looking, knee-length, plain black dress with a red belt. The belt holds a large pocket knife, as well as a small sack full of throwing knives, in case of an emergency.

Rapid fire info: -Troy’s twin sister

-She and Troy were killed in the same incident, and she had to watch him die. Due to this, she’s extremely over-protective of him and deeply paranoid that anyone around them may turn out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

-Has held people she sees as threats to him at knife point, but never followed through with her threats when called on her bluff

-Acts cheerful and air-headed around other members of the camp despite this; it’s half a ploy to get them to underestimate her, half her genuine self

-Has a fixation on knives as a result of her death, seeing them as something powerful, but only as long as they’re in her hands. If anyone else wields a knife against her, she panics.

-Was just beginning to really experiment with aesthetics when she died, and while keeping her brother around is her number-one priority, she loves to DIY new decorations for her cabin and often requests different clothing from Alice

-Died by being stabbed multiple times in the abdomen

Sinclair:

Age: 16

Role in the story: Secondary antagonist

Appearance: Dresses more like they’re from an RPG than the same Earth Alice’s soldiers came on. They wear a long, dark brown cloak over a tube top made to look like bandages (since actually wrapping your chest with bandages is No Good), held together in the front with a long red belt with a replica of Mikayla’s mask as the clasp. They also wear black pants that are ragged at the hem, and black fingerless gloves. Has long brown hair that’s been cut unevenly and is often matted, brown eyes, and light, almost ashy-looking skin. More lean than muscular, though they are surprisingly strong.

Rapid fire info: -Mikayla’s first attempt at recruiting a human soldier

-Deeply infatuated with Mikayla, who has used drugs, isolation and good old fashioned emotional and mental manipulation to keep them that way. (things will get better for them as the story goes on tho)

-Very theatrical, and presents themself as a half-demon sorcerer; they spend much of their time working on their presentation and are often disappointed when people don’t treat them with the gravitas they expect.

-Genuinely believes Alice’s human soldiers were all created by her and are video game NPCs at most and mere illusions at least

-Despite this, they’re pretty ineffectual without Mikayla’s directly influencing their actions, since they don’t seem to actually want to kill anyone and greatly enjoy one-sided rivalries with Alice’s soldiers

-Yells a lot for no good reason

-An absolute shitpost of a human being

-Died by stabbing themself

#Universe 1 #Basic Story Info #alternatively: Dollar Store Isekai Lore Dump lmao #also. this reminds me that I REALLY have to give Universe 2 the same treatment soon.#I think I've had this blog for like four months now and I STILL haven't written shit about Universe 2 here yet asjdfgkajhsdgfhkj

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solreefs · 2 years

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The Beauty of Unlabeled Things: Your Local Nonbinary Aro-Spec’s Take on Aziraphale and Crowley

or alternatively, Oh My Fucking God Stop With the Good Omens Queerbaiting Discourse Already

*disclaimer: shipping these two is not inherently aphobic or transphobic. that being said, if you romantically ship them purely because you think of them as not queer enough in canon, or don’t consider nb or aspec people queer, with all due disrespect, fuck you.*

Let’s start with the obvious: Good Omens is a comedy about an angel and a demon trying to stop the apocalypse, not a romance novel. It has never been sold or summarized as a romance novel. You were never promised a romantic relationship. Remember that.

Crowley and Aziraphale are presented to us as, quote, “men, or at least men-shaped creatures, of the world”. The implication being, they’re supernatural divine beings, so while they might like to look like men, but do they really have time for our human concepts of gender? Probably not. They have bigger things to worry about anyway. So right off the bat, we’re told we can’t put human labels on these two, because they’re not human. It just doesn’t work. It’s like trying to classify humans as dog breeds. Yes, you can match up some traits, but fundamentally, such labels are incorrect, and always will be.

And that ambiguity carries over to their relationship with each other. The best part of their relationship is that it has no definitive labels other than “an Arrangement”. They care for each other, and see no need to define what they have beyond that. Why do they need to explain it to other people? Isn’t the fact that this relationship works for them the most important part? They don’t need to care what other people think. And therein lies the beauty of this relationship, and in a way, of this book as a whole.

Good Omens was not written to be the beloved cultural phenomenon it has become. If you read the forward of the book, it was just a fun summer project. As such, it wasn’t written with other people’s opinions in mind. It is a weird, funny, and at times strangely thought-provoking book that simply does what it does, without much care for explaining itself any more than is necessary to tell a good story. Things don’t always need labels, or lengthy explanations, or to fit into neat little socially acceptable boxes of conventionality, and Good Omens is a book that celebrates that.

How quickly so many people forget the inherent queerness of unlabeled relationships, people and beings of ambiguous genders, and love that doesn’t quite fit into a neat, acceptable, nicely defined category. When you say “is Good Omens gay?”, what it sounds like to me is “this is a romance between two cisgender men, right?” It sounds like nonbinary and aromantic erasure. It sounds like ignoring the beauty of queer as an ambiguous, unifying label of all that falls outside the heterosexual, heteromantic, cisgender norm of today’s society. Quite fucking frankly, it sounds like entitlement and ignorance.

Unlabeled queer people are queer. Aro people are queer. Nonbinary people are queer. Not every queer relationship has to be romantic in nature. There are other kinds of queer representation besides kissing and romance that are just as important. Good Omens was not sold as a gay romance novel, stop treating it like one. And as a nonbinary aro-spec person, I am so tired of the way the internet treats people like me in fiction.

I also want to close with this Twitter thread, which encapsulates my thoughts on the ship itself quite nicely:

[ID: A Twitter thread that reads as follows:

Beans Turnip (@Hatpire): So, @neilhimself, they’re gay, right? :D

Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself): They’re an angel and a demon, not male humans.

🖤Rhiannon🖤 (@GoodnightSkye): Okay, but they love each other, right? :D

Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself): Absolutely.

End ID]

#this is the promised arophobia rant #no i don’t know why the screenshot has the language set to german #i didn’t take it i found it in an article #good omens #good omens discourse #discourse #ceres reads good omens #*swings bat at hornets nest*#come and get me fools #Ceres rants

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byronictrash · 3 years

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some stuff that would be different in my version of hbo supernatural (season 4)

season 1 season 2 season 3

LAZARUS RISING

dean asking why his body wasn’t salted and cremated like the usual and bobby answering that sam said her brother will need a body when got back (and dean obviously thinking oooh so she made a deal)

after the whole “did you make a deal?> no i didn’t> so how am i out of hell?> bro i have no idea” dean jokes “ok sammy but what are these bangs? it looks like you cutted it yourself” and sam responds “well because i did it” (actually ruby did but she couldn’t tell dean about it yet)

“did you put a cd player in my car?” “i always told you how i hate your tacky rock” “and what’s this? the black parad- samantha are playing your gothic shit in my car? Baby is not the elvira’s car” “dean i thought the car was mine by now”

GOD IT’S ME, DEAN WINCHESTER

the winchesters almost fist fighting because dean refuses to believe that castiel is an angel and sam is like hm ok sounds reasonable (“i knew the altar girl would believe in that bullshit” “dean that’s not about my faith, it’s about the evidences you’re being too ignorant to see” “c’mon sammy if angels existed any hunter would have seen one at some point” “well, you’re a hunter, you saw castiel, mystery solved!”)

METAMORFOSE

travis being a super misguided ally, but still an ally (“sam!! you got tall, kid. how long has it been?” “gotta be 10 years” “so now you’re a woman?” “yep” “that’s wonderful sam, love is love!” “uh... right. thanks travis!”

and finally, after all that half-spoken sore, the siblings air out the dirty laundry (“i know he looks nice but he’s got something evil inside him, in his blood. maybe you can relate” “oh fuck it. wanna know why i’ve been lying to you? because all this bullshit” “like what?” “you talking to me, looking at me like i’m a freak” “i do not-” “even worse, like i’m an idiot who doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong” “you know the difference? lately you’ve strolling a dark road” “you have no idea what i’m going through” “enlighten me then!” “i’ve got demon blood in me dean!! this disease and i can’t do anything about it!!! since i can remember i feel myself dirty and impure and part of me really wanted to believe that it was some kind of catholic guilt because i’m queer but noooo! i’m a whole new level of freak!”)

IT'S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, SAM WINCHESTER

angels literally don’t have the concept of gender, so castiel/the other angels couldn’t care less if sam is a girl or boy, trans or cis

which makes sam and cas's first meeting a little funny because sam, catholic like she is, is all like “omg it’s such an honor! i’ve heard a lot about you” and cas is like “and i you. samantha winchester, the girl with the demon blood”

“the seal must be saved” “but there are a thousand people here” “one thousand two hundred fourteen” “and you’re willing to kill them all?” “samantha, i thought you were a woman of faith, didn’t you read about sodom and gomorrah?”

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER

sam’s hot girl summer <3 <3 <3

there would be a scene in the hot girl summer flashback of one of the first times that sam drank blood to exorcise a demon with her mind. so here they are, demon tied in a chair and trapped in a trap, sam with blood all over her chin and ruby looking at her, all heart eyes. Sam tries to do the exorcism but it doesn't work so ruby says sam needs more blood. Sam responds that she’s nauseous and if takes any more she’s gonna puke cause you know voluntary vampirism came too natural in the canon and it disturbs me so the demon, who’s wearing a cheerleader as a vessel, laughs and says "you know sammy, for real women blood tends to be a natural thing”. ruby kills her on the spot (of course, the blood drinking part was omitted when she was telling it to dean)

BUT she told the sex part, which made dean completely disturbed (“christ sam! too much details” “you’re the one who asked it” “and regret it with all of my soul”)

HEAVEN AND HELL

although dean doesn't trust ruby, he's grateful that she took care of sam while he was in hell

so their dynamic became a kind of siblings-in-law who hate each other here

CRISS ANGEL IS A DOUCHEBAG

the magicians would be gay!!!! i want an old married gay couple c’mon!!

gay as fuck to be a magician. what are those cards for? to see your future? with another man???

AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL

parallels of dean calling sam samantha (derogatory) in the high school flashback and samantha (affectively) in the present

1997’s “that kid’s dead! i’m gonna rip his lungs out” “dean its okay” “okay? who the fuck he think he is to mess with my brother, samantha?” VS 2008’s “that ghost is dead! i’m gonna rip his lungs out!!” “nevermind dean” “nevermind? samantha, the asshole just stabbed my sister!!”

SEX AND VIOLENCE

ok first of all, it would be more shown on screen how enamored dean was by the siren guy. when he praised the impala dean just blushed and smiled like a fool

when cara is talking about how life happens and how the person you married for a life can change and etc etc she’s talking about discovering she was a lesbian while being married to her husband

and finally the siren poisoned fight (“you know, i look at you and don't see my sister anymore, i see a total stranger ” “okay, wanna know why i didn’t tell you and how runy and i were hunting down lilith? because you’re weak, too weak to go after her. even without the psychic stuff, i’ve always been a better hunter than you, which is funny because i never wanted this life and you try so hard. i fight better than you, i shoot better than you and my latin sounds like actual latin” “oh sure, speaking in tongues must be very easy for you. hey sammy, when was the last time you did an exorcism without bleeding your nose? dry weather, allergy, what will be your next excuse?” *and now they go to the fist fight*)

to get out of the tense mood a little, based on this post, sam would really believe for years that dean and the siren fucked but she wouldn’t comment nothing with him cause in her head he was just taking his time (which wouldn’t stop her to tease him everytime he got nervous near a hot guy bc queer solidary and sibling hostiliy coexist)

ON THE HEAD OF THE PIN

at the moment the angels show up like hey dean whats up wanna relive your trauma? he starts to hyperventilate

also the whole episode would have flashbacks of dean’s time in hell

when ruby slides into sam's lap and kisses her, it would be much more passionate

also when ruby cuts herself for sam drink her blood she would totally drop a "good girl" because let's face it, vampirism has such an erotic touch

IT’S A TERRIBLE LIFE

dean smith and samantha wesson meeting would be totally awkward (“do i know you?” “i don’t think so” “sorry, you just look really familiar” “look, i have nothing against trans people, but i am very happily married and i love my wife ok?”)

sam would have a little group of cis girl friends in the office who wouldn’t be ~actively~ transphobic BUT would totally ask inappropriate questions like “do you pee standing or sitting?”, “did you have ~the surgery~?” or “ok but what’s your old name?”

THE MONSTER AT THE END OF THIS BOOK

in the supernatural book series, chuck wrote sam as a cis woman

which was one of the reasons he believed the whole omg my ocs are in my house cause dean was like “nice to meet you, i’m dean winchester and this is my sister samantha” and chuck turned to sam wide eyed like “the name samantha were never in the books, the editor thought it was too long. and the publisher vetoed me from writing you being trans in the first book”

dean gets completely baffled by reading his drinking problems from a third person perspective (“do you think i drink that much sammy?” “dunno man, sometimes you exceed and by sometimes i mean often” “c’mon, it’s not that much” “dude i drove the car most of the times last month because you wasn’t able to and you drank half bottle of vodka alone this monday” “whatever”)

THE RAPTURE

it would be more shown on screen how the first symptoms of blood withdrawn act

like dean would be “hey sam hand me the computer?” and sam “sure” but when passes it to him, he notices that sam is shivering and when asked what is that she just says that she forgot to have breakfast

after dean saw the whole blood drinking and stuff, sam asks dean if he regret not letting gordon killing her. he responds “... no, what kind of question is that?” and she “a question you had to think before answering, apparently”

WHEN THE LEVEE BREAKS

the conversation with child sam hallucination going like “how could you do this to me? we tried so hard to be clean, to be normal and now you do this?” “i tried, sorry” “sorry? that’s all you're gonna say? you think jess would want you to turn into this? she loved you and now you use her name as a martyr” “look im sorry but life doesn’t turn the way you expected when you were 14. even with a white fence house, we were never gonna be normal” “maybe you’re right cause after all we are a freak in the biblical sense”

the whole “i give myself over wholly to serve god and you guys” would be way more gay

dean hallucination saying “c’mon sammy, you really thought you could hide it forever? You were always a monster. no matter how much you pray, you know you only feel good when you're swallowing evil because that's your true nature”

LUCIFER RISING

when sam is killing lilith, her eyes don’t turn black BUT YELLOW!!!

#hbo supernatural #trans sam winchester #supernatural #samruby #supernatural season 4 #transfem sam #lesbian sam winchester #kripke era #mine #some destiel i guess?

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grelleswife · 2 years

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1, 3,4,5,7,8,9,12,13,16,18,19,20,21, 22, 23, 24,25,26,27,28,30 [INHALES] for the man the myth the legend himself SEBASTIAN!!!! 🎉🥳

1. My first impression of them.

One of my earliest memories of the Phantomhive butler is hanging out at a friend's dorm during undergrad and seeing a Season 1 poster on her wall...with O!Ciel in the Little Robin dress and Sebas in his tutor's disguise, tilting the boi's chin up. At the time, I wondered, "Why the heck is that creepy man looming over that poor little girl?" Oh, for the days of my lost innocence. 😭 However, once I learned a few years later that the fujoshi nonsense surrounding the series is (thankfully) not canon, and due to my soft spot for pretty, morally bankrupt anime men, I was intrigued by the bastard. A demon thot who murders people with butter knives? Sounded like a concept I could get behind! And the rest, as they say, is history.

3. A song that reminds me of them.

"Villain" by Stella Jang

4. How many people I ship them with.

Grelle, Agni, Mey Rin, Wolfram, Hannah (sometimes). I also envision Claude and Sebas as hostile exes who parted ways after a bitter divorce.

5. My favorite ship of them.

It depends on the ambience I’m craving. If I want a ship that comforts like eating a warm bowl of soup prepared by someone who utterly adores you, or nestling into a cozy sanctuary of blankets while the rain gently falls outside your bedroom window...an eternal devotion whose magnitude shatters the paltry constraints of time and before whose radiance even the dark inevitability of death must cower...I turn to Sebagni. If I need forbidden romance woven from bloodied ribbons and the taut, knife-sharp threads of animosity transmogified into an impossible love, dancing like a capricious flame in the space between poetry and prose...I go for Sebagrelle.

7. A quote of them that you remember.

"And not even a devil or a god can bind the heart of another in the truest sense of the word." And, of course, his "one hell of a butler" catchphrase is indelibly etched into my memory. 🤪

8. Your favorite outfit of them.

This pop idol attire!

I also have a soft spot for this outfit that Nina made him wear because it showcases his pretty waist. :3

9. Your least favorite outfit of them.

Sir, I love you, but what is this apron? 😆

12. Sexuality headcanon.

Pansexual! A demon's attraction transcends gender; Sebas just falls in the love with the person.

13. Your favorite friendship they have.

His relationship with Agnj. Yes, I'm aware that Yana said Sebastian views the khansama as just another mortal grasshopper (albeit a highly competent and exceptional one), but he's also one of the few humans Sebastian genuinely respects. The demon treats him like a peer, listens to his advice, is deeply impressed by his achievements...and cradles Agni's body in his arms with one of the most poignant expressions we've ever seen on his face after he and O!Ciel discover the khansama's been murdered. Not to mention that Agni was the first mortal to call Sebastian his friend in the all the centuries the demon's lived through! Yet another reason why I ship them—what's more beautiful than getting to be in love with your best friend? >w<

16. A childhood headcanon.

Already answered here!

18. How do you think they were as a kid?

I headcanon that demon babeys tend to be feral beasts, running amok, attacking and devouring those weaker than them, and trying to avoid annihilation at the hands of more powerful devils. Sebastian's first few decades of life were pretty brutal, relying on his own wits and strength in order to survive and be deemed worthy of acceptance by mature, adult demons. Soft fanon Dadbastian tries to make sure that his human foster son doesn't ever need to endure that kind of hardship.

19. The most random ship you've seen people have with them.

The Sebastian/Teletubbies fics still haunt my dreams, oozing into my subconscious like Tubby Custard, and I incurred irreparable psychic damage from Sebastian/Obama.

20. A weird headcanon.

Sometimes, when Sebastian decides to treat himself to a luxurious bubble bath (because sweet legions of hell, he deserves one), he'll keep his hooker boots of glory on even after he gets in the tub. It's about the ✨ vibes ✨

21. When do you think they were at their happiest?

In a perverse sort of way, I think canon!Sebastian is probably at his happiest while eating a soul. He's put care and effort into seasoning it with pain, misery, wickedness...now it's time to reap the rewards in full. For fanon!Sebastian, it would be when receiving love and acceptance even after people were aware of his true nature, whether those affections were platonic or romantic.

22. When do you think they were at their lowest?

I imagine the immediate aftermath of the Campania really set him back on his heels. Sebastian's well aware that he's capable of being killed, but it wasn't until Undertaker stabbed him with his death scythe that this painful reality sank in. The demon was pushed to the precarious edge of exhaustion, rattled by the stark realization that he might have lost his young master if luck hadn't tipped in their favor. The whole incident sent spiderweb cracks running through his veneer of confidence.

23. Future headcanon.

Regardless of his protests to the contrary, the demon never fully recovers from the bereavement he feels after ending his contract with the little earl. Whenever another human summons him to strike a Faustian bargain with the devil, he quietly insists that they call him Sebastian, and refuses to answer to any other name, because he simply cannot bear to let go of the last vestiges of his identity as Phantomhive butler (yes, I'm being sentimental and foolish here, no, I do not care).

24. What do you think is a secret they have that they have never told anyone?

Deep down, Sebastian has always felt inadequate, though he overcompensates for it with perfectionism and inflated arrogance.

25. When do you think they acted the most OOC.

*glares at Season 2*

26. When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

During scenes with O!Ciel like their first meeting after he was summoned, their terrifying confrontation during the Green Witch arc, etc., when there is no butler's mask to conceal the horrors that lurk behind his servile smile.

27. If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc., who would be the most fun for them to meet?

I know next to nothing about Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, but based on my superficial impressions of that universe, I could see Sebastian fitting in quite nicely there due to how melodramatic he is!

28. The most unnecessary thing they ever did?

Be rude to the other Phantomhive servants. 🥺They're doing their best, you bastard! 😖

30. The funniest scene they had?

The scene from the start of the circus arc where Sebastian leaps into the circus ring like a dork to fawn over Betty the tiger, and she proceeds to chomp on his head. 🤣

#kuro asks #kuroshitsuji #sebastian michaelis #thanks for the ask!

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qm-vox · 3 years

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So You Want To Play A Fairest

(Portrait of Erin Peters by cantankerousAquarius. The character originally appeared in Night Horrors: Grim Fears, published by White Wolf; catch my take on her in New Avalon)

Previous Articles: So You Want To Play A Beast, So You Want To Play A Wizened, So You Want To Play An Elemental, So You Want To Play An Ogre, & So You Want To Play A Darkling

You ever wonder, flipping through a Monster Manual for D&D, or a Bestiary for Pathfinder, why nymphs and hags are both always, always, women? It’s older than you know. Dig into the sordid history of tabletops and you’ll find sylphs that Gary Gygax wrote, Chaotic charmers who use mind control to reproduce with non-sylph men; you’ll find the legacy of the matriarchal drow, who follow a mad goddess, and you’ll find the medusae, whose sexual dimorphism is so complete that their men are beautiful and can turn stone into people.

Dredge deeper and you’ll find the tales that Gygax and his wretched ilk based such creatures off of.

You ever wonder why we assign such powerful Gender to creatures of beauty and horror?

Fairest don’t. They know, every time they wake up from a nightmare that is also a wet dream. They know, every time they get hit on at the bar and have to decide how they’re playing this. They know, every time they look in a mirror and see not their own face, but the ten thousand horrors that made it beautiful.

If you are very patient, and lucky, and kind, they might tell you why.

If you aren’t, they may show you.

This article draws primarily on Changeling: the Lost and Winter Masques, as well as Swords at Dawn and Night Horrors: Grim Fears. Other sources, when used, will be cited. It requires Content Warnings for sexual violence, sexual slavery, abuse, gaslighting, addiction, substance abuse, self-harm, self-image problems, mentions of fascists & fascist ideology, and just, so very much incel bullshit.

Bonus Material Part Two: The Seeming Part

The end of this article, just past the customary Sample Fairest, will include some additional material intended to help you select a Seeming for your character and otherwise build them up as one of the Lost, much as So You Want To Run A Spring Court included material for Courts as a topic.

Take Me To Wonderland - Fairest Overview

Fairest is the fourth Seeming presented in Changeling: the Lost and possibly the most confused about its own identity. Its sections in Winter Masques present depths and nuance that are completely absent in core, essentially making Winter Masques required reading for Fairest players in a way that no other book is - especially since Fairest keep getting written in a particular way alluded to in the Ogre article, which I will expand on later in this article. Fairest is numerically well-represented in canon and popular in the fanbase, home to many memorable character concepts, but its bones with folklore and tradition are weaker than it fronts as.

Ogres and Darklings claim an innate relationship to physical violence; so too do the Fairest claim a relationship to violence. The violence of Perception and its dark twin, Judgement; of Rumor and its mad dog, Prejudice, the violence of Lies and their merciless master, Truth. Fairest, alone among the Lost, have casual access to the resources of a society that refuses to service or acknowledge Changelings, and with access to that society comes both opportunity and temptation. To be Fairest is to wield power that many other Lost cannot, but the opportunity that power offers is a lie; a Fairest can smile until her face breaks like a mirror, but she’ll never be “sane” enough for the masses to see her as anything but a useful pet.

Life’s Lush Lips - Homecoming As A Fairest

Fairest can make the dubious claim of having the least clear memories of Arcadia amongst all the Lost, with Darklings and Beasts jockeying for second place. This isn’t to say that the experiences Fairest have are necessarily more intense or more inherently traumatic than that of other Lost, but rather that the abuse Fairest suffer is so emotional, so targeted at their perception of their selves and their situations and their self-image, that the memories which do form are inevitably colored by those emotions, coloring the dreams they have of Arcadia with both the emotional resonances they had at the time and with their later attempts to grapple with their own trauma and transformation. For many Fairest, who cannot trust even their strongest memory dreams, attempts to understand their own Durance must rely either on the word of their Keepers (and Faeries lie, oh, how they lie), or on reverse-engineering their own behavior to try and conceive of a trauma that could cause it.

Inevitably, however, some things are seared into their minds. For almost all Fairest, their Keeper is high on the list of things they remember with absolute clarity. Other facts, shattered and scattered, vary more widely. Erin Peters remembers stretched years kept in a cold, dark room lit only by her own hatred; every detail of her cell is scorched onto the back of her eyes, but the otherworldly balls her Keeper took her to blur together like food coloring in syrup. The slaves of the Candle Countess have terrible nightmares of the choices they were confronted with, the decision, offered over and over again, to become complicit in the Countess’s cruelty or to be victimized by it. Metallic Flowering from the Shining City struggle not to use drugs to mimic the rush of pleasure they’ve grown used to receiving for performing their jobs well; they also scream in terror if people touch them. A Draconic and a Shadowsoul both remember being used for the sexual pleasure of alien horrors; the one dreams of coiled scales and terrible teeth, the other a lifetime of lurking in an alien maze, tasked to perform the duties of a living trap for the “wicked” and “unwary” who had not yet shed the last vestiges of kindness.

There are no “wild” Fairest. For worse and worse still, to be Fairest is to have been defined by the inescapable and all-consuming attentions of your abuser, and it is this more than anything that other Lost so often fail to understand about the Fairest. Their Keepers heap them with reward and punishment, manipulating the Fairest with honeyed praise, godly wrath, gaslighting, neglect, withholding food, wondrous rewards, drugs from beyond the realms of earthly pleasure, and other hooks and crooks designed to make the Fairest dependent upon their abuser. It is hideously effective, and the first obstacle, maybe even the mightiest, that a Fairest faces to their escape is the simple horror and joy of being alone again. Their masters will try other tricks to keep them in place - tempting them with pleasures, horrific punishments, oh-so-sincere apologies - but before a Fairest can escape into the Hedge she must face, in her mind’s eye, the lonely flight back to the Iron Lands.

The memories that draw Fairest home often have parallels to their experiences in Arcadia. A slave in the Shining City bites into an otherworldly pastry and recalls her grandmother’s pie in its place; the bride of the Demon Lover, curled up under the sheets, thinks about the broken smile of the boyfriend she left behind at home. A Dancer remembers the roller rink where he fell in love with skating, while across the endless tides of the Fairest of Lands, a Shadowsoul holds on like grim death to years of work at haunted houses, scaring kids for fun and for Halloween. Fairest, so famous for their skill at words, struggle to articulate to other Lost why this should be so. Darklings assume it’s because these memories are less intense than Arcadia, and that the Fairest are fleeing to safety. Beasts get it a bit more right by thinking that these memories taste like home. The truth of the matter is that those memories have an intrinsic and nameless meaning; the highs and lows of Arcadia are divine, flawless, absolute, and therefore worthless. They are the proclamations of merciless gods. What draws the Fairest home, more than pain and pleasure they can have on their own terms, is the understanding that those gestures - for weal or for woe or for anything else besides - were made because someone cared about them, personally. Once they fully internalize that their abuser views them as disposable, the Fairest comes home to someone who won’t.

Three Kiths And Flowering Is One And A Half Of Them - Fairest Kiths

Yeah we’re about to be like that about it.

All Fairest can excel in the social arena; their Blessing can be used to flare almost every social roll in the game, and Fairest can never be caught off-guard in a social context (they suffer no untrained penalties to social rolls). With the sole exception of Empathy (usually rolled with Wits) and sometimes Streetwise, there’s no time a Fairest can’t fall back on their words and expect to win through or at least buy time. This is, as you might imagine, a godsend when it comes to attempts to pass in mortal society; Fairest can usually front, charm, bluff, or Manners(tm) their way through things like renting an apartment, nailing a job interview, asking their roommate to do the FUCKING DISHES, or getting stopped by a cop, but both the books and the fanbase miss something here. While Fairest are superb at active social events, they’re no better at keeping a lid on themselves (Composure-based rolls) than mortals are - and given both the nature of their trauma and the fact that they are, you know, Lost, Fairest have a lot more to keep a lid on day-to-day than the human society they’re trying to blend into. Thankfully, Fairest are pretty good at being able to politely leave a situation and go somewhere else to scream, shout, cry, or have a psychotic break, as appropriate.

Of course, Fairest can’t make something from nothing. As discussed in So You Want To Play An Ogre, you can’t win a social game someone else refuses to sit down to, and social rolls shouldn’t be mind control. All the Glamour in the world can’t make your roommate do the FUCKING DISHES if they’re deep in the throes of executive dysfunction, nor can it make the cashier at Walgreens fail to card you for wine when their computer literally won’t advance without an ID. People who are keyed up about honeyed words or whose own trauma came at the hands of manipulators and abusers might refuse to play that game on the terms the Fairest is setting, which makes it hard to, as it were, turn this problem into a nail. Lurking down this path as well is the specter of becoming like the masters who made you this way; if you get used to saying what will get people to listen to you, eventually you start seeing people as enrichment puzzles that dispense the things you want. Madness waits down that road, and it waits for Fairest with a giant spiked bat, thanks to their Seeming Curse.

There’s no pretty way to say this so I won’t: Fairest are always on the verge of losing their minds. Their curse hits them with a flat penalty to all rolls against losing Clarity, which means that Fairest lose Clarity faster than other Lost and they do so more consistently. This necessitates a balancing act with avoiding becoming heartless manipulators; Fairest must engage in control-seeking behavior in order to stay mentally well, must be able to trust and rely on people close to them, structure their lives, and anticipate important changes or they end up on the fast way down. Other Lost often don’t understand this need or the Fairest curse to begin with, and so Fairest end up in unofficial support groups for one another, similar to those run by Darklings except no one will admit it’s a support group even at gunpoint. Woe fucking betide the friend or life partner who gets between a Fairest and her “book club”, “girls’ night”, “D&D campaign”, or other excuse for this vital community support.

Fairest Kiths are...bad. They’re bad. This is the part of the article where I’m supposed to talk about thematics and symbolism and metaphor, and I cannot do that here, because they are bad. Fairest has three viable Kiths that are actual Fairest Kiths, one that’s a Beast Kith who got lost and wound up here by fucking mistake, and a pile of garbage bigger than my self-esteem problems. I’m almost tempted to only talk about those four Kiths and save myself the time but I suppose I should show the work like I’ve done for all the other Seemings, so here we fuckin’ go I guess.

Flowering - This is it. This is the Fairest Kith. If you want to roll any other kind of Fairest you must first pass the trial of justifying why you’re not playing Flowering. In theory, Flowering draws its mythic heritage from nymphs and dryads, charming flower sprites, Knights of Flowers, and the like, but in practice Flowering’s only mechanical effect is 9-again on Persuasion, Socialize, and Subterfuge with no qualification or requirement, which doesn’t just make you better at everything Fairest is good at, it makes you better when you spend Glamour to flare it too. Want to represent a biobahn sith’s hypnotic dance? Flowering works. Want to create a vampiric Fairest with a sultry voice? Here comes Flowering. The siren at the bar who smells like sea air and gunpowder? Flowering. Everything is Flowering. Even the things that aren’t Flowering are Flowering because all Fairest Kiths have a social focus, which is Flowering’s undisputed arena of mastery.

Bright One - In theory, Bright Ones represent beings of light in the vein of Victorian fey (which...ugh...Victorians), but their Goblin Illumination is, how you say, useless, only becoming vaguely useful for a total of 2 Glamour as a passive defense that took you 2 turns to set up. Anything you want to represent here can be found in Flowering and with Elements or Communion (Light).

Dancer - You know how Flowering gives you bonuses on all social rolls? Would you like those same bonuses but on 1 less skill and only on rolls that “involve physical grace”? No? Run Flowering here and give your character a Dance specialty in one or more skills.

Draconic - One of the game’s premier melee options and a Beast Kith who took a wrong turn and ended up getting a free makeover intended for someone else. Draconic in theory represents Fairest as dragons, monster girls, demons, and in general at their most physical, but that idea sorta...falls down a bit? Draconic’s bonuses are all about Brawl and all the sample Draconics are swordsmen, which might suggest to the discerning reader that someone in the office wasn’t reading their own fucking game. Draconic Fairest don’t make bad melee boys if you invest in Lethal Mien, but honestly this is Dual Kith bait; slap it on your Hunterheart or your Razorhand and go apeshit.

Muse - Close but no cigar. In theory Muses are, well, muses; figures of inspiration, mentorship, teaching, creative fire. Their Kith Blessing is strong but requires access to mortals, which is complicated and roundabout on the best of days. If you have an idea that you think is Muse-shaped, use Playmate instead.

Flamesiren - Behold, we enter the realm of Okay(tm). Flamesirens are what Bright Ones wanted to be, and their hypnotic aura is actually a pretty neat tool; with cunning you can make it a one-sided penalty, and even if you don’t it’s an interesting method of de-escalating a social or combat situation by subjecting everyone to the tar pit that is your presence. If your concept involves light and color and you’re resistant to Flowering, Flamesiren will do more than nothing.

Polychromatic - Polychromatics don’t have a lot of roots in mythology; their modern inspirations are, well, Manic Pixie Dream Girls. But they get a shout-out here for being the only Fairest Kith who can muster up decent emotional defenses; not only can they magically boost their Composure rolls (and non-Composure rolls to resist magical and mundane emotional attacks for that matter), but others get a flat penalty to Empathy rolls against them, which makes them talented dissemblers. You’re still probably better off with Flowering - in a world of passive Kith Blessings, Polychromatic’s is extra passive - but I can see this Kith passing muster, and even being worth the two dots to Dual Kith in-house.

Shadowsoul - This one’s insane. Ostensibly Fairest Does Darkling, Shadowsouls get their Wyrd to Intimidate rolls which could be the whole Kith on its own and still be worth the slot, but in addition to that they get 9-again on Subterfuge (matching Flowering and Darklings there) and access to Contracts of Darkness, one of the most powerful in the game line, as an Affinity Contract. Is your Fairest spooky? Would you like them to be spooky? Here’s your one-stop shop.

Telluric - This is a Kith made of ribbon bonuses. In theory related to stars and celestial light, Telluric’s bonuses to rolls “with precise timing” isn’t...really worth considering. Run ‘em as Flamesiren and move on.

Treasured - In theory also able to muster emotional defenses, Treasured are Fairest who are literally made into works of art. They’re Okay(tm) but in their niche are beaten out by Polychromatic with a better effect for less resources.

Playmate - The last Real Fairest Kith(tm), Playmate appears in Night Horrors: Grim Fears where White Wolf tries to sell it as Peter Pan, but its powerful team-oriented bonuses mean that Playmates are useful anywhere Muse is wanted and more places besides. The front woman of an indie rock band could be a Playmate; so too could be an idealized baseball captain, the director at your local theater, the middle manager of a sinister conspiracy, or the night shift lead at a research lab. Do people do a thing in teams? Playmate does that thing.

And She Had Huge Titties, I Mean Massive Badondadonks, Absolutely Enormous Bazoggahoggas - Lost’s Canon Fairest

Remember when I said we had to get back to this after So You Want To Play An Ogre? Now we’re getting back to this. I’m not gonna re-state my caveats from that article and I’m not really gonna go back over the bit about So White Wolf Was Run By Fucking Nazis because, in all honesty, I do not have the fucking time to restate all of that in new words. Give thanks that OPP got out alive and let’s get right down to it.

Fairest have a very consistent characterization in canon that is only really challenged in Winter Masques; the narrative put forth in Lost is that Fairest, being attractive, have an uncomplicated power which privileges their lives. Which is a rather bloodless way to describe how White Wolf kept writing and publishing Fairest as heartless abusers and manipulators getting their jollies and emotional needs met by casually destroying their fellow survivors, manipulating them through sex appeal, outright lies, cattiness, cruelty, and betrayal. Much as simply queering Ogre does not help Ogre in and of itself, queering Fairest only takes you from incel and Nazi propaganda about women into...incel and Nazi propaganda about twinks, femmes, & in general anyone with the temerity to be found attractive by straight white people.

I’m not bitter, you’re bitter.

So what do you do at your table, with your Fairest concept? Lemme open up by saying that like, Fairest qua Fairest is perfectly solid, and if it wasn’t there wouldn’t be an article here; Fairest has a lot to say for itself about feminized violence, about your personhood being reduced to a product for the consumption of others, about emotional abuse & neglect, gaslighting, and sexual assault, but the conclusion White Wolf arrives at (”Fairest have unalloyed power over mortal and Lost society and they abuse that power”) is super fucking obtuse and betrays a serious lack of concern for what the Fairest undergo. It ignores the way a Fairest’s ordeals will force her to confront her relationship to her own gender and alter her willingness and ability to be consumed, disconnect her from her former society while also isolating her from her new one, and these questions are important for you if you’re looking to play a ‘classic’ Fairest.

But that leaves some hanging questions. Male Fairest face the almost inescapable fate of “failing” maleness on patriarchal terms; even the most strapping, broad-chested, athletic Adonis of a Fairest has become a man of layered words and reflexive empathy, whose Manly Stoicism(tm) is a cracking facade at best and entirely abandoned in a more typical circumstance. Men who become Fairest thus face a second journey after their escape from Arcadia; confronting what being men means to them and building their gender identity back up from the rubble it’s become. The temptation to accept success on society’s terms is always going to be present, and it’s always going to be offered like it’s possible, but it’s a losing game for these Fairest; they simply cannot be the men that other men demand they become.

Now, the discerning and loyal reader is surely about to ask, hey Vox, where’s the butch Fairest I was promised back in the Ogre article, to which I respond WE’RE GETTING THERE but I gotta use this as a bridge to talk about something that cuts across Fairest of all genders, be they cis or trans. Lost 1e makes a lot of hay out of the idea that Fairest “are rarely conventionally attractive”, and core even provides some interesting written concepts for that...which make it into exactly none of the art. Every published Fairest is conventionally attractive for various definitions of conventional, be it as a supermodel or a waif, but that leaves the question of Fairest who genuinely are not - and, tragically, Fairest who were not, and were then made into someone more easily consumed by their Durance. You know what I’m about to say, and I know you know I’m about to say it, but I’m gonna say it anyway: all bodies are beautiful, but Fairest know well that beauty and attraction aren’t the same, and neither are beauty and happiness. All Fairest, from the roundest bear to the most wide-eyed waif, are the products of Keepers who valued their bodies in that state, and that idea is going to haunt them day in and day out for the rest of their extended lives. There is no such thing as a Fairest with an uncomplicated relationship to their body, and that White Wolf seems to think that an uncomplicated relationship is their default state is...disgusting, frankly.

Which brings us, at long last, to butch Fairest (also bear Fairest but I’m gonna stick with the one set of terms or I’m going to go mad and this will never be published), who have a complicated journey ahead of them. On the one hand, the assertion of control and ownership over their own bodies, their own identities, cannot be overstated. On the other hand, elements of those bodies are going to be completely out of their control; a nascent butch Fairest may well hit the gym to get swole only to discover that she literally, physically cannot, that she has been Assigned Dex Build At Durance. Hauling your corpse out of Arcadia with an extremely feminine appearance shaped by your Keeper might complicate attempts to present in a more masculine manner or even just to appear androgynous, and those complications can be discouraging. For those that stick to it, this journey will take them two places; one is the bared-teeth, bloody-knuckled assertion that this life is theirs and you can have it if you can fucking take it, and the other is into the ranks of the Freehold’s retained warriors, usually in Summer or Autumn, though a vibrant representation of Spring knights will make it seem as if Spring has more butch Fairest than it actually does. These Fairest are aware, or will become aware, of how much of their job involves de-escalating or pre-empting violence; a focus on Physical stats or skills is not necessarily common, but hyper-specialization therein likely is. A butch Fairest is a lot more likely to have, say, Brawl 4 (Multiple Opponents) and no other Physical skills than she is to have Brawl, Weaponry, Athletics, and Stealth, in part or in whole because her first weapon of choice is going to be an Intimidate roll.

At every turn you’re able to, challenge White Wolf’s narrative about Fairest by asking yourself what your Fairest wants, why they’re this way, what they’re frightened of, and how the way they behave relates back to these. They’re not products; they’re people, just as hurt and Lost as the rest of their peers.

Princesses And Pastries - Fairest In The Courts

Fairest have a complex relationship to the society of their fellow Lost. On the one hand, they have the same need for community, support, companionship, understanding, honesty, and material aid as all Lost; a Fairest is not magically proof against being homeless, against starving, against the dangers of existing in the modern world without things like a photo ID or car insurance, and Freeholds provide all of these things. On the other hand, the thing most Fairest fear most, even if they can’t articulate that fear, is their own power - social influence, emotional trust and betrayal, status, political power, and authority. Fairest are all too aware that being good at this game does not make them immune to it - after all, that’s the lesson they learned at the hands of their Keepers.

What follows from this is a complex dance of interactions that each Fairest in some ways has to feel like she’s managing on her own, even if she’s not (and she rarely is; those support groups exist for a reason). If you give a Fairest a doughnut in a social setting, she will lick that doughnut even if she doesn’t intend to eat it right away, solely to hear someone else say something along the lines of “well it’s yours now”. As Fairest filter into Freehold society and take up social roles at all levels of power - officers, messengers, ‘ambassadors’ to mortal society, secretaries, pledge-smiths, teachers, monarchs - their responsibilities and rewards become their doughnut. That Fairest make a big deal out of both their job and the benefits that come with it is rarely, as other Lost sometimes think, about aggrandizement or reveling in power for its own sake; it’s about the sheer relief and assurance of hearing someone say, to the Fairest’s face, that this is her doughnut and no one is going to take it from her.

Younger Fairest tend to flit between two or three Courts; their initial selection may be based entirely on friendships, Vibes, or a gut-check decision based on an initial pitch by that Court, and Fairest can go quite far even in a Court that doesn’t quite actually fit their needs. Eventually, though, those Fairest who survive their youth will gravitate towards a Court whose ideals speak to them, even if its current social order isn’t living up to those ideals. If they’re going to be condemned to live as exiles in the world of their birth, the Fairest can at least be the person she wants to be, god damn it. Fairest aren’t any more or less vulnerable to a toxic Court environment than other Lost, but they’re good at detecting it beforehand. Unfortunately they’re also good at telling themselves they can change it.

Spring - Though early Spring joiners are of course rare in general, Fairest are among those Lost who more commonly choose Spring as a first Court. Spring’s highly social focus and chaotic internal organization is almost tailor-made for the skill set of your average Fairest, but therein too lies a sense of threat; for many Fairest, Spring can remind them of their Durance, and their joining of the Court is as much motivated by fear of a powerful cultural body as it is by any genuine Desire, maybe even more so. Many such Fairest end up caught in Spring’s middle-road trap, spinning their wheels without recovering or worsening more or less until they finally die, but when Autumn can sniff out the fearful ones it puts a lot of work into cooperating with Spring to get them out and where they can be helped.

Summer - More Fairest dabble with Summer for dreams of glory, or because they want to believe in Summer’s apolitical sales pitch, than ultimately stick with Summer. Those that do stay often serve as officers, as the Sun’s Tongue or the Arrayer of Distant Thunder, and as Court sorcerers. Fairest skilled in Contracts of Separation can make for surprising Jaegers, hounding their prey down more like a private investigator or a serial killer than a traditional hunter, but while striking this is fairly rare. Fairest who stick with Summer are those who are looking for its high ideals and are often among those rare Summer Courtiers who can competently articulate both those ideals and their pitfalls without falling prey to cynicism and bitterness.

Autumn - For those Fairest who hurt others to feel safe, Autumn is waiting. The Leaden Mirror can be attractive to young Fairest because it’s easy to perceive Autumn as atomized, defined by personal relationships rather than webs of political influence, but when the Fairest discovers those webs the existence of Option Two: Resort To Violence as an acceptable tool to the Ashen Court is perversely reassuring rather than threatening. The image of the Fairest as a witch, tempting and threatening, clings to them in Autumn but it’s honestly not their most common role; Autumn employs its Fairest as rumor-mongers, the Other Woman who seems a little too familiar with your husband, therapists & counselors, oneiromancers, and ambassadors to Hedge communities. The work Autumn does is harsh on Clarity, and Fairest are especially vulnerable to that harshness, but if the Court invests the time in helping its Fairest members, the self-awareness and self-confidence it offers can be a godsend that no other Court can give them.

Winter - As the Court which is actually selling what Fairest think Autumn has - to wit, the ability to simply say “no” to all social interactions with no justification required - Winter has a strong undercurrent of Fairest membership at all tiers of its power. Fairest often end up directly involved in Winter’s money-making enterprises, and flourish as Squires and Armigers with their fingers on the pulse of the Court’s morale. Winter’s hands-off approach displays a tremendous amount of trust in its Fairest from their perspective, and the demeanor of the Coldest Court - Winter’s indifferent equality - has a potent, merciless appeal. The trap of drowning in Sorrow sucks more than a few Fairest under, but if their peers can be there for them there’s always a way back out.

This Is Not A Pipe - Fairest And Lost’s Themes

My many thanks to Izzie M for her extensive help on this section. I’m not sure I’d have been able to grapple it down, emotionally or intellectually, otherwise.

Fairest go through some intense shit, and the shit they go through can never fully be addressed, never fully be recovered from. It’s no mistake that Fairest, like Wizened, are among those Lost likely to never fully gain resolution with or from their Keeper, and this is because they embody the dark truth that no matter how much progress you make, how much you heal, your trauma has changed who you are as a person and you will be dealing with it until you die. But, as alluded to extensively above in the discussion of Fairest and gender, Fairest also embody the way in which society will attempt to stamp you, mold you, turn you into a product to be consumed or an archetype to be placed into its churning machine, and its attempts to reshape who and what you are and can be are, in themselves, a form of trauma and abuse.

Fairest deal a lot in expectations. They’re expected to be perfect victims, they’re expected to be happy (because they’re beautiful and attractive, because they can front as Doing Okay, because they have a form of access to ‘normal’ society), they’re expected to want romance and sex (since everyone else wants those things out of them), to perform emotional labor, to be available, intimate, understanding, to keep up appearances. Fairest escape the chains of their Keeper only to be clapped in the chains that extend into the eyes and minds of their peers, and they cannot move without hearing the clink of them.

Fairest are primed to represent victims of ongoing emotional abuse and neglect; sex slaves and victims of child abuse might find themselves in Fairest, as might husbands or wives of abusive partners (and boy, re-living my bullshit there was a bonus prize I didn’t want to receive for writing this article), children pushed to over-achieve (here overlapping with Elemental) until they break, pastor’s daughters and cult kids (here overlapping with Beast), and others. However, Fairest also hit their thematic stride when talking about trauma from a society that will not give you an exit. A trans person is first punished by society for “failing” to perform their assigned gender, then made to perform their new one to expectations that they cannot set, do not control, and do not consent to; such a person might easily be Fairest, as might a man breaking under the expectations of Maleness, a college student losing their mind in finals week with no one to help, or even more ‘ordinary’ sex workers expected to perform emotional and physical labor for a society that rewards their work with violence and dehumanization.

Fairest are people with complex internal worlds and they damn well know it, but the temptations to let others define them are numerous; society promises all manner of rewards for being who and what it wants you to be, for wanting the things it tells you to want, for being the kind of person who wants and does those things. To be Fairest is to know at any time you can start faking it and receive those rewards insofar as they’re actually on the table, but it is also to know, every second of every day that you’re performing that role, that it is fake. If you can’t find a community with which you can be genuine...well. You can always get more hurt, and in this way Fairest also bring another theme of Lost into focus: that the Lost owe compassion and understanding to their fellow victims, because failure to care can only hurt both them and everyone in their blast zone.

Feet Pics For Legos - Coping As A Fairest

Fairest are among those Lost who are most concerned with their day-to-day social interactions and safety rather than their immediate, very physical environmental safety. They are perhaps the Seeming most likely to live in a group setting (in an apartment with roommates or romantic partners, in a house shared between multiple households, splitting the bills in a condo, with their parents), and are definitely the Seeming most comfortable with the idea of living with mortals who aren’t ensorcelled. Indeed, Fairest don’t tend to do well living alone; even a Fairest who wants or needs a private place to be, choosing to keep a home in which others cannot lay a claim, will likely crash at friends’ places, sleep over at the Freehold commons on some pretext or another, stay the night with a lover, or otherwise have a place to flop down while surrounded by other people. Having other people - their greatest reality check - around the place helps keep the Fairest centered in the real reality, better able to pick apart the mortal from the Wyrd from their own unrelated hallucinations, and a Fairest who is isolated - or who is permitted to isolate herself - quickly begins to dissociate and may soon be incapable of caring for herself until someone can get her back into the present.

Those invited over as guests to a Fairest’s home may note a lot of concern for those she lives with. She likely schedules the event well in advance, is clear about the boundaries of those she lives with (”That’s Brenda’s room, the door stays shut.”) and in general treats her communal home with a lot of respect and love. Respecting these boundaries and in turn having her own respected is very validating for the Fairest and is vital to be able to feel safe and at ease in her own home, and impressing their importance on guests further reinforces that this is, as it were, her doughnut. While not dismissive of their own literal physical safety per se, a Fairest’s anxieties rarely center around her body being violently attacked by strangers. For those that do have such anxieties, they may choose to solve that problem by simple expedient of rooming or living with someone large and scary.

Another detail of note which is touched on in Winter Masques is that Fairest tend to seek out life’s little pleasures. Though they are not necessarily wealthier than other Lost, how a Fairest chooses to spend her money tends to follow particular patterns. Rare is the Fairest who doesn’t have clothing they like, a phone that works, a wallet or purse that can actually hold all of their stuff, and in this regard most Fairest without a special interest in fashion as a hobby in and of itself will have an aesthetic that is self-expressive but serviceable and hard-wearing, but any place the Fairest haunts, frequents, or lives in will get little touches everywhere. Fairest spend the little bits of extra money for good toilet paper, soft soaps that won’t hurt the skin, good shower supplies, high-quality razors, boots that won’t wear through - and they spend their serious money on their hobbies and preferences. A Fairest with a passion for cooking scrimps and saves to get a fully-stocked kitchen; a Fairest who likes building and connecting invests in Legos or Hot Wheels and creates elaborate environments for them. A gamer Fairest has headphones that can vibrate your constipation away and a fiber optic connection to ensure that lag will not stand between her and your doom. The reasons for this are manifold, and Lost’s canon writing suggests that Fairest seek pleasure to alleviate a desire to return to Arcadia. This is, to put it mildly, a stupid assertion; rather, the Fairest provides her own pleasures in part because it is one of the most emotionally clear ways to lick the doughnut, and in part because it reminds her that she can be happy under her own power, can seek pleasure, stimulation, engagement, without placing herself at another’s mercy - ironically making it easier to go out every day and do exactly that as a member of her various societies.

As a Fairest settles in she tends to look for “her” people, and quite often they’re good at compartmentalizing this, wearing different hats and having different feelings about those hats without feeling fake or distressed about the bare fact of that. She’ll have her personal friends and family, like her housemates, her girlfriend, maybe her mortal family, her neighbors, and then folks like her Motley (which are like her personal friends and family, but In The Know), her fellow Fairest and the Freehold broadly, her work friends and fellow hobbyists. A Fairest who does, say, sex work, thinks of herself as a Sex Worker and understands herself in the context of that broader social group. It can be a lot! Many Lost barely have a handle on being a member of both the Freehold and a Court, and the way Fairest flit to and fro between many communities, slipping seamlessly from one role to another, can be exhausting to watch - but by doing so the Fairest also builds bonds between those communities, highlights their common needs and interests, draws them together over their similarities and strengths. Darklings and Wizened get a lot of the work on the ground done, but it’s often a Fairest in the role of whistleblower, figurehead, and champion all at once.

After all, this, too, is her doughnut.

Example Fairest - Clara Belltower, Spring Playmate

Clara Belltower is a mime.

Well, no, not exactly. Clara Belltower is a self-employed porn actress, erotic script writer, and director, whose primary thing is mimes, clowns, and more broadly circuses and performance venues. She came back from Arcadia eight years back fleeing life as her Keeper’s Stepford Wife, and ran face-first into the money issues that haunt the Lost in general. What started out as a practical choice in new career - and an attempt to find and express an identity not created for her by her abuser - became a creative passion that has stayed strong with Clara and propelled her to status in the Spring Court, which retains her keen eye for decoration, direction, and theatricality in service to its high rituals and revels. Clara’s livestreams and online presence are also a convenient avenue for the Freehold to launder its less legal revenue streams, which has endeared Spring’s “silent siren” to the Winter Court and cemented her as a mover and shaker.

Clara’s ambitions reach beyond erotic miming, as talented as she is at both creating and purveying such. She has her eyes on four different strip clubs in Freehold territory alone whose owners and operators need to fucking go, and she wants Winter’s help making it happen; further, she wants the Freehold to take over operation of those establishments for the benefit of the workers. Clara’s vision is popular in Spring and has its supporters in Summer too, but the Declining Seasons have been cool on the concept, citing a need to maintain subtlety and avoid entanglements with the mortal world that might invite the eye of, say, the IRS - or mire the Freehold in a protracted war with local police departments. Clara’s passion burns with a righteous simplicity, envisioning a Freehold that is active in improving the city around it - if the cops want to throw down, bring it on! Her influence over Winter means the Coldest Court cannot simply dismiss her desires, but neither is it willing to go to war. Something is going to have to give, soon.

This concludes the Fairest portion of the article. Some additional thoughts on Seeming follow.

Bombing Your Own Position - Choosing Your Seeming

So it’s been six articles and I’ve talked about the ways various Seemings can represent responses to the things which traumatize us; neurodivergences for which society abuses us, the machinery of capitalism, violence, prison, and more. But how do you go about choosing your character’s Seeming? The obvious choice is to make a character that puts a lot of yourself at the table; to seek out a Seeming that reflects your own traumas, your own issues, your own anxieties and struggles, and then grapple with them in this fictional context. But RPGs can be an emotionally challenging medium, and you may well not want to deal with your own bullshit during your magic trauma fairy game. That’s valid!

Now, the second obvious piece of advice is to think about your proposed character’s themes and traumas and then select a Seeming from there, but this can get complicated. Many Lost players feel as if they need two Seemings, and to those players I say: no the fuck you do not. But it is true that people are messy and do not fully resolve, that the broad spectrum of the world of sorrow and loss is not easy to fit into 6 discrete categories whose creation was often managed by, not to keep repeating this point, fucking Nazis. I have found in my experience that it can be helpful, when you’re torn between two Seemings or you have a character you’re sure is this Seeming even though they look like or could be that one, to ask yourself why the character is not the other option. Why is this alluring and sensual Darkling not a Fairest, what makes this brutal and violent Wizened not an Ogre? This question naturally leads to others about their abuse and their reaction to it, and can start your momentum for writing your concept out.

As an addition, while I’ve spoken of various Seemings as being well-equipped to represent specific traumas, they don’t own those traumas. Elementals are metaphorically autistic, but there’s nothing stopping you from running an autistic Fairest or an autistic Beast instead. Rather, those Seemings outlined as being “for” or “about” certain traumas are those whose selection will make those traumas thematically central, cause you to return to them as a topic over and over by virtue of being who and what they are. Real people have complicated problems which intersect with one another, spawning new problems that are more strange than the sum of their parts, and it’s both valid and interesting to write your Lost that way - just keep in mind that it’ll still be complicated at the table too.

Van Helsing Hate Crimes - Seeming Politics

White Wolf spent a lot of time waffling back and forth on whether or not Seemings represent distinct cultural and political identities in a given Freehold, drifting towards ‘yes’ when the writers thought about the way Blessings and Curses create consistent, measurable differences between Lost of various Seemings, and towards ‘no’ generally whenever they were asked to actually outline a Lost society such as a sample Freehold or Entitlement. Some Entitlements are locked to specific Seemings, often times with little thought as to why, while other times Seeming-based power blocs are alluded to as worldbuilding elements (such as in Lords of Summer) without much in the way of supporting detail. Why should these things happen, when, how, what does the buildup of this violent fracture in a Freehold society look like?

On the whole, I have taken the stance in these articles and in my own worldbuilding that some amount of fantastical prejudice exists amongst the Lost, but that the systems of oppression have not taken root. Maybe it’s idealistic of me to view the Lost as unwilling or unable to produce internally racist power structures that create an underclass for the benefit of an appointed elite, but in general I feel as if Freeholds are too small, each individual member too precious by simple dint of being a living being in a physical body, for this kind of evil to flourish. That said, you may have also noticed that I identified two Seemings - Darklings and Fairest - as explicitly self-uniting and in some senses self-governing on the basis of common traumas that they often cannot fully explain to outsiders, and indeed community with people that understand your bullshit without you having to say it aloud - that is, those who share a Seeming with you - can be invaluable to all Lost. Ultimately, however, I want to advise against looking at Seemings the way that, say, Vampire: the Requiem looks at Clans, and instead to treat them as reactions to trauma rather than a kind of alternate racial identity.

Next up: So You Need To Write A Fetch

#Changeling: The Lost #rpg #fairest #trauma #abuse #seemings #violence

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roublardise · 3 years

Text

my "Crowley isn't attracted to women" take

for @spnprideweek - day 2 - mlm

cw: dicussion of homophobia & transphobia all in all I wanted to highlight how canon gay Crowley is bc I love him 💕 thank u spn for Crowley even tho he deserved better

in the last weeks I've realized there's a huuge consensus in the fandom for pansexual Crowley. if you're pan or not and wanna hc Crowley as pan, power to you! but what's bothering me is the non-discussion of it all. the way it seems obvious for everyone. whereas, to me, Crowley has been canonically gay all this time.....

disclaimer: I'm aware Mark Sheppard alledgely said he saw Crowley as pansexual, however I can't even take these words for canon without context. Especially not when a year later he'd say Crowley's sexuality didn't matter. The way Mark Sheppard talks about characters' sexuality is more a "why are people making a big deal let them be" than "the character doesn't care." Moreover, actors pov can't be taken as canon imo. Jensen Ackles thought Dean straight for so long when Dean's been bi all this time as well. Sometimes actors are biased by their own experiences & stereotypes!

disclaimer #2: on god I don't wanna start discourse lmao. I just wanna share my silly thoughts about a tv show & question the way Crowley's sexuality is written in this silly homophobic tv show. don't @ me about what's making you think Crowley is indisputably pansexual bc I assure you I already know your points

That being said, here's why I think Crowley is a bear, a gay man, a trans gay man actually, a homosexual, who isn't attracted to women & some food for thoughts about why the unquestioned consensus towards pan Crowley could have roots in both homophobia & panphobia.

I don't think we can think of Crowley as your usual demon. We know too much about Crowley's life as a human, and the numerous ways in which he acts un-demony, almost humanly after. Considering him simply like a demon with no concept of gender preference who would be pan “by default” wouldn’t be right with his character. But we also can't question his sexuality in the exact same way we would a human's.

It also can't be thought in the same way as angels': as once-humans demons do have a concept of gender. Crowley especially cares a lot about his gender presentation and the way he's addressed. Not only does he literally sell his soul for a bigger d*ck as a human ; as a demon he uses the same vessel where other demons are shown to move once they had to leave one ; and for the few hours Crowley's possessing a woman, he clearly states he should still be referred to as king.

This will all be used for homophobic & transphobic jokes in the show, but I'll get back to that later on. Gender does matter to Crowley's identity, and I think it could be extended to his sexuality.

I've seen numerous descriptions of it all saying Crowley's sexuality was "ambiguous" and I guess it is, as he never explicitly used any label. However "ambiguous" doesn't mean bi or pan. It doesn't mean anything besides the fact we can't draw a clear-cut conclusion of his sexuality.

Imo we can actually draw a clear-cut conclusion of Crowley's sexuality but yeh, I'm getting there.

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Let's take a look at canon events around Crowley & sexuality!

His character introduction is him enjoying making a homophobe man kiss him for a deal

It is rumoured that he was a demon's lover (Lilith's)

He heavily flirts with Bobby

He french kisses Bobby for a deal and takes a pic

He never kisses a woman on screen (tell me if I forgot anyone!)

He flirts with every single man he sees, and even more strongly when it's making the other uncomfortable

The other parent of Crowley's son is never mentioned nor even brought up

He has two orgies that we know of

He has sex with a demon who's possessing a woman (Lola) when he was addicted to human blood

He dates, has sex with, and asks Dean to rule Hell with him. He's in love with Dean

On late spn he drinks fruity drinks

He flirts with and implies he had sex with an angel (Naomi)

He flirts with Death (Billie)

He's into BDSM

I'm not gonna go into details with all the sexual stuff he says bc there's a lot.... But it's always about gay sex. (once again, if I'm forgetting smth pls tell me nicely)

Now, with all that I'd like to question specifically the elements people use to say Crowley is canonically attracted to women.

He has two orgies that we know of

There’s the one Crowley has while he’s himself possessing a woman ; iirc it’s a foursome with two other men and one woman. Crowley still counts as a King, as the show makes sure we know, admitedly this dialogue implies we should still think of him as a not-very-manly-man.

Honestly, if one is convinced Crowley is attracted to women based on this scene.. okay. Personally I don’t see it because the orgy is unplanned, it’s an opportunity Crowley takes. Is he even attracted to the two other men?? Who knows. We don’t even know if Crowley even touches the other woman, there’re so many ways to have group sex. Even if he did, having sex with one woman doesn’t make it impossible for him to be homosexual.

The second orgy is with Dean. Crowley describes it then: “We've done extraordinary things to triplets.” It’s interesting how before I went to check, I thought it was clear the triplets were women. But not at all! I’ve been tricked by heteronormativity myself. So this is up to interpretation. Even though the way the show doesn’t make sure we know the triplets were women is pretty telling (as I’ll talk about later).

It is rumoured that he was Lilith's lover

Well, this is a rumour. In this relationship Crowley would know Lilith as a demon possessing a woman, and Lilith would know Crowley as a demon possessing a man as well. Who's even to say they met in their vessels to sleep together. That's the kind of cases in which the ambiguity of Crowley human/demon situation makes it impossible to draw any kind of conclusion towards Crowley's attraction to women. Also if anything Lilith is clearly a lesbian lmao.

He has sex with Lola when he was addicted to human blood

Same thing here, the relationship is one of demon/demon. Though we do now they do meet in their vessels to sleep together. Besides that, the sex happens while Crowley is at a low point. She's the one bringing him human blood, which makes the sex more of a transaction than anything. It does fit a very grey area of consent which would be fair to question.

We can't know for sure whether the demon possessing the woman was a woman as well, but let's say she was: 1/ Crowley having sex once or twice with a woman doesn't prevent him from being homosexual. 2/ What is he seeing if not a demon's true form? 3/ Wasn't he in a self-destructive mental state?

It's a stretch, imo, to assume Crowley was attracted to her.

He flirts with and had sex with Naomi / flirts with Billie

This one is so ridiculous to me bc Naomi is an angel and as a demon, Crowley sees her true form. We don't even know who was her vessel when they had sex.

The flirt thing is interesting however, bc iirc Naomi and Billie are the only "women" we see Crowley actually flirt with. During the orgies or the demon sex there's no flirt involved. It's interesting bc, as Cas would say: "Naomi's vessel is a woman. Naomi is an angel."

Same case for Billie who's a reaper then Death. Spn is pretty unclear about how the whole thing works but we know reapers are kind of angels. In any case, I won't go as far as saying Billie has any connection to gender.

Moreover, the way Crowley flirts with them is pretty light next to everything else Crowley says to men. It's pretty personal, I'm aware, but I do relate a lot with the way Crowley flirts with them VS how I flirt with men just because (and I'm a lesbian).

Anyway! Both Naomi and Billie are supernatural creatures, which brings the count of women Crowley flirts with to... zero.

-> What I take from all that is that Crowley is attracted to men for sure ; to angels and demons ; and doesn't care about the genitalia involved in the sex he has. We have nothing about the kind of relationships he had as a human. His gender presentation matters a lot to him. The only long-term commitment he has is with Dean. I wouldn't even say he had a committed relationship with Gavin's other parent bc we don't know anything about them.

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But what's my deal with homosexual Crowley? One can wonder, if Crowley doesn't care about bodies, doesn't that mean he can still be written as pan?

No! First because sexual attraction isn't about genitalia (even if transphobes would argue the contrary but they're transphobic so...). And second, well....

I would refer to this point as "how do I know Crowley isn't attracted to women? bc Dean is"

I'm convinced that if the show wanted to write Crowley as anything other than a gay man, it would have been way more obvious.

This is a show who wrote Dean catcalling a faceless woman on the street, for no other reason than to remind the viewers Dean was attracted to women & to balance it with the following homoerotic scene.

One could say spn doesn't have lots of women characters to begin with, but that's my point exactly: when spn wants to show attraction towards women, they do find women for people to be attracted to. Hell, they even give Gavin some girlfriend but never ever bring up the topic of Gavin's other parent. Even though an entire episode is dedicated to learning about Crowley's past.

What's important to understand Crowley's sexuality isn't the people he slept with ; it's the people he doesn't show interest in.

The absence of something is the presence of the thing, blablabla. It's a way to look at homosexuality that heteronormativity makes hard to see because, unconciously, we don't tend to question attraction towards the expected gender. One would ask for a 10 pages essay on why a character is gay, but one would need only a 2 sec kiss to assure a character's heterosexuality or attraction towards the expected gender.

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In Crowley's case, his attraction to men is a huge part of his character right from the beginning (thanks god, at least no one's questioning that). Spn as a show that hears what the fans are saying and twists writing accordingly, is perfectly aware of that. Yet rather than pushing women at him along the course of the show to remind everyone how Not Gay Crowley is - the opposite happens.

Yeh, Lola, Naomi, Billie, they all happen in the later seasons. But even then, the show somehow can't write Crowley as attracted to a human woman.

What happens then is: not only does Crowley fall for Dean ; he engages in some BDSM play with Lucifer : and he switches from drinking only the finest Scotch to fruity cocktails.

The BDSM thing as well as the drink thing are choices rooted in stereotypes, that's how spn is! But it does canonize Crowley's homosexuality. They're depriving him of his "masculinity" as the show goes on, because they purposely write him as homosexual. I don't think spn would have ever written a bi or pan character that way.

We learned a few days ago that Crowley died in a gutter. He died in a gutter for a bigger d*ck. I'm just gonna refer to Oscar Wilde & Mika on this : "some of us in the gutter are looking up at the stars."

The "referred to as king" scene isn't about Crowley being a demon and so not caring about gender - it's the opposite. Other demons are the ones poiting out Crowley's vessel. This is a transphobic joke. It's the demon edition of the "gay boy in a dress" transmisogynistic trope.

Viewers aren't supposed to be on Crowley's side ; we're supposed to be giggling with the other demons while Crowley is being emasculated. Crowley gets a woman vessel because he's a not-very-manly-man, because he's a trans man, because he's homosexual.

And I know that bc Dean is written as bi, and all they're doing is reaffirming the way he does like women while being extra subtle with his love for men.

Meanwhile Crowley is losing influence and power, loses his authority as he loses his throne in Hell, gets humiliated by Lucifer, until all his character revolves around is his love for Dean. The way Crowley is then protrayed as some lovesick ex who can't move on is, imo, a straight man fantasy. Crowley's love is both used as predatory and as a tool to validate Dean's Peak Masculinity.

Spn has been burying their gays all along, and Crowley was right there being punished for not only being in love with Dean but for not being attracted to women. For never being able to be a "normal" guy. For never being able to be seen as a "normal" guy. For checking every homophobic stereotypes in the books. Crowley as a human dies because he's a trans man. Crowley as a demon dies because he's homosexual.

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That's what leads me to be uncomfortable with the way the fandom seems to have a consensus towards pansexual Crowley. (Once again: idc about people's personal hc of Crowley as pan, I just want to think critically about the way no one thinks twice about it & accepts it as canon so easily. Hell, just bc I dared to ask what started the pan Crowley confirmation I got accused of erasing his pansexuality. All I did was ask a question.)

To me, it feels like erasing everything his character went through because he was gay. And it seems to be taken from a reasoning which is going to assume Crowley is attracted to women.

I mean: the reasoning would go "oh, Crowley clearly has a non-straight sexuality -> he's attracted to men -> he's pan" His attraction to women being accepted by default, without needing any backup. And when I look at the canon I see nothing implying he'd be attracted to women. Taking Crowley's attraction to women for granted is following an heteronormative thinking.

Being into people isn't all about who one sleeps with. It's about love. And when we look at what spn shows about Crowley's close relationships, the only meaningful one he got is with Dean. When Rowena wants payback for Crowley making her kill Oskar, she goes for his son.

And it's SO interesting to me because if angels can't be in love because they don't have a soul - can demons? as they're beings with a destroyed soul? And if so, how powerful of Crowley to still fall in love with Dean Winchester.... the power of gay love :) (Crowley 🤝 Cas)

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To conclude all this with some more stuff to think about if, like me, you love questioning everything:

While it's not wrong per se to hc Crowley as pan, it can be worth questioning what's making us so sure we collectively just vibe with it? To me there's a few things: - As I was saying: heteronormative bias - Crowley being a non-fully-human character - Crowley being masculine (despite the show's attempts to erase that) - Crowley being into BDSM - Crowley flirting and making sexual remarks in every context

These, unconsciously, gives a vibe of a character who's "outside" of the gender norm, not making big deal of their sexuality, not even questioning it. This creates this idea of "ambiguity" around Crowley's sexuality. The way Crowley particularly seems to be really chill about sex, is a demon (so what does he know about gender?), and heavily flirty, ... is what most people will link to pansexuality. That doesn't mean thinking of Crowley as pan is being problematic™ ; this means in western medias that's what fills the "pansexual character" imagery (like basically: the Jack Harkness type).

However, when we look at it like that, none of these elements are defining of pansexuality. None of them are excluding him from homosexuality. If not stereotypes.

That's where it gets personal ; but it does make me feel like the huge consensus towards a pansexual Crowley (when there is no clear-cut evidence of it) is erasing the complexity of homosexual experiences. As I said at the begining: I'm happy if pansexual people can relate to Crowley ; everone's free to headcanon. But saying Crowley is canonically pansexual is a stretch - and a take rooted in homophobic stereotypes.

Imo Crowley may have been created with all these traits pushing towards a pan reading of his character. However, as the show went, he was clearly written as a homosexual man. The changes in his portrayal took a turn to be specifically homophobic. He gets imagery that only strictly homosexual characters got (such as drinking fruity cocktails like Aaron. Meanwhile Dean, on the same scene, is allowed beer & whiskey.)

We're used to taking spn's homophobic rep and jokes to make it our own. Yet it seems, when it comes to Crowley, the fandom doesn't see it.

Sometimes people aren't attracted to the gender heteronormativity expects them to be attracted to.......... sometimes people are gay and it's not an umbrella term.

#crowley spn #spn crowley #crowley #trans crowley #spn meta #supernatural #spn #so..... i went off once again #homophobia #transphobia #i just kept adding stuff to it lmao and i would STILL have stuff to say but this is enough #long post #spnprideweek

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