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astrobydalia · 6 months

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Your present... Relationship observations pt. IV

I know you guys love these so here's more! As always, enjoy and happy holidays!

work by astrobydalia

long post!

A common thing I've seen in the charts of people who are firmly monogamous is moon-mercury aspects (this is not the only indicator ofc). Their decisions and interests are guided by what they feel so once they set their heart on someone... that's it for them

A very interesting lesson that I took from doing so many synastry/composite readings is that the "like attracts like" trope is WAY more powerful than the "opposites attract" trope. Here are some of the most common similarities I've spotted:

couples sharing the same ASC (this one is SO common)

Very similar aspects to the moon: I’ve noticed many couples have each of their moons aspecting the same planets, specially, outer planets, usually in similar (sometimes even the same) aspects. For example person A has Moon Square Pluto and person B has moon opposite Pluto (both harsh aspects)

A common thing I've seen in many couples synastry is Venus square Venus aspect

On the other hand I’ve noticed that flings or really passionate relationships tend to have Moon square moon in synastry

Moon sextile Moon relationships are so perfect imo. They have the easy understanding of the trine and the passion of the square/opposition

I’ve seen a lot of unrequited love situations have Venus square/opposite Moon. The moon person is attached to and idolizes the Venus person. The Venus person enjoys moon’s company but they aren’t that romantically involved or interested

Earth Moons are very fond of stability what is known to them but they secretly want someone who takes them out of their comfort zone and opens them up to deep and exciting emotional experiences. I've noticed they usually end up with partners who are more sensitive, expressive and spontaneous

I’ve noticed Venus-Pluto natives (square, opposition, conjunction) end up building some kind of resentment towards their long-term partners overtime and won’t let them go. The type to spend years married to some they secretly hate and also the type of person who demonizes every single one of their exes. It’s like they tend to attract relationships that wake up a dark side in them

Something I keep seeing over and over is that Cancer placements are playerssssss (both men and women). They will treat you like you’re “the one” but that doesn’t necessarily mean they have an actual intention to settle with you😭 they're just getting carried away by what they feel in moment so I guess they are unintentional players???

Leo and Libra placements on the other hand are intentional players imo. They love the romance and chasing just for the validation it gives them

In order to keep a Cardinal Venus/Moon interested you need to keep showing up like your relationship is brand new. Doesn’t matter how long you’ve be together or how comfortable you are with each other, they want their partner to still make an effort to impress and romance them like it’s the first date and they're bound to do the same

Women with Libra Mars I've noticed tend to attract mamas boys or child-like men with mommy issues. These women are always the dominant or mature ones in their relationships

Capricorn Mars women are dominant too and have a strong character but they chase men who are equally as independent as them if not more

Something I’ve noticed with Pisces/Neptune 7th house (and also Pisces Venus/Juno to an extent) is that yeah they put their partner on a pedestal but they also low-key tend to take their partner for granted? I’ve noticed they expect their partner to be indulgent, permissive and basically tolerate their bs. Little is talked about how their tendency to ignore red flags goes both ways; they want their partner to ignore their red flags too and forgive all their behaviors

What is up with Aquarius and Pisces placements attracting each other all the damn time?

Water Venus/Mars win the award for most obsessive lovers out there

I’ve seen a lot of people with Mars in the 7th house who were divorced or never married. One friend of mine who has this placement says she doesn’t want to marry at all or have a relationship cause she’s too independent

Women with fixed Mars are attracted to men who have rough or bold characteristics such as beard, tattoos, toned body, deep voice, etc. or just a very bold presence in general. They also have a thing for men who have a very confident, understated and nonchalant demeanor/personality to them

Women with mutable Mars and their attraction to flighty and chaotic men who don’t give them the time of day. I’ve seen this countless times 😭😭😭

I've seen harmonious aspects between Mars-Moon in people that work very well together! This aspect typically means fertility which in a work environment translates into a fruitful relationship. The two people wanting to create/initiate things together with lots of motivation

Who came up with the idea that Aries Moon/Venus are disloyal and flighty? All I keep seeing irl is these natives tend to have a strong attachment to their partners. Once they're in your corner they won't ever let you go fr. They could have a tendency to get attached to the wrong people tho

I’ve seen many many couples having 7th house Mars in synastry but this overlay is super chaotic imo, creates a back and forth dynamic that ends nowhere. The house person is the chaser here, they are always pushing commitment on the Mars person cause they don’t want the mars person to “slip away” or something. The mars person enjoys the eagerness of the house person and finds it very attractive and could enjoy challenging the house person’s interest. Eventually if the mars person isn’t that interested they get bored and are often the first ones to walk away

A very similar outcome I've seen happens with 7th house Mars in Composite. This could make the bond between the two a bit "forced" and dragged out. This also means the connection will really be put to the test, you guys may have to fight for your connection a lot which can either bond you more or exhaust you, could eventually become tired of the relationship and how much energy it takes to keep it alive.

I have a theory that your preferred house overlays could be indicated by your Venus/7th house/Juno. For example if you have Leo Venus you might enjoy 5th house synastry, if you have Neptune or Pisces in the 7th house you might feel comfortable with 12th house synastry, etc. Let me know what you think about this

I’ve noticed that 8th house synastry results in a lot of physical touch going on so people who have this as their love language might be specially fond of this overlay. This is the couple that literally can’t keep their hands off each other

Scorpio Moons 🤝 sabotaging the few healthy relationships they have in their life. They eventually learn to keep the right people after really going through it tho

With 7th house synastry you can really feel like something's missing when you don't have that person around.

When moon falls in fire houses in synastry the two people are always excited to see each other

Moon in 1st house in synastry is the only 1st house overlay that is not superficial. The connection is usually very genuine while it lasts. This person likely sparks a lot of nostalgia and you remember them fondly

When someone’s personal planets fall in your 4th house, you feel like this person can see you for who you truly are deep down

Gemini Venus/Juno/7th house: the people they date tend to have almost identical characteristic, there's always this blatant "twin" factor in the people they date or attract. For example all their exes worked in the same industry, have the exact same personality, etc

Venus Observations...

Libra Venus has the rep for being big flirts and charmers but this is actually a Cardinal Venus thing tbh cause, as I've said in a past post, they love the chase, they just all do it in different ways

It's true Virgo Venus are picky but this doesn't necessarily mean they have high standards. Yes, stay with me here. These natives have a very clear series of characteristics they want a partner to meet and that's how they are picky/critical (earth) but if those boxes are checked, they don't care much about anything else (mutable) and can be quite flexible. They don’t really care if their partner is not the most sought after person

In contrast, Capricorn Venus are picky AND have high standards. They want the best of the best, the perfect partner

Virgo Venus wants a partner that doesn’t need validation however they want their partner to validate them all the time

Aquarius Venus will only commit if they see a future with that person. Not only they are ruled by Saturn (which rules longevity) but they are also ruled by Uranus which rules innovation, Aquarius is the visionary of the zodiac so Aquarius Venus people need to feel like their partner will help them evolve or "upgrade" as a person in some way (not in a materialistic way like Capricorn but rather mentally). That's why they are attracted to people who are "different", intelligent or eccentric

The reason why Aquarius Venus is "flighty" as per my observation is because they tend to go for partners who are radically different from them and as a result they often stumble upon many incompatible partners

Leo Venus is very underrated when it comes to acts of service, I’ve noticed this is a very common love language for them

In my experience Pisces Venus natives are SO deceitful and immature. I'm sorry I really wanted to like this placement but they always make me cringe and are only cute on the surface imo. The type to lead everyone on by saying things they don’t mean and exaggerating compliments. They’re very passive in love and romanticize bare minimum. This means they don't expect their partner to take accountability but the native never takes accountability themselves either. They ignore issues in relationships and instead of working things through they expect everything to be fixed with lovebombing and/or pretending like nothing happened. Men with this placement tend to be emotionally unavailable and always want to date a doormat girl. Women with this placement are childish and tend to have princess complex

The only Venus sign that doesn't care much about looks from what I've seen is Scorpio Venus. They care more about the bond and chemistry over their partner fitting a certain type.

Also, what is up with Scorpio Venus and dating people they don’t actually like that much or at all? 🤨 They be dating people that low-key annoy them

Libra, Leo, Capricorn and Taurus Venus very much care about looks in a partner. Taurus/Capricorn Venus natives I've noticed pay special attention to how a potential partner dresses and grooms themselves

All Fixed Venus natives are pretty obsessive to honest, it's not just Scorpio. I've noticed they like the idea of having some sort hold or control over their partner. Their love language is making themselves indispensable in some way cause they enjoy feeling like they're partner will always need them and won't get away from them

Men with Pisces/Libra/Cancer/Taurus Venus have a thing for women who are people pleasers or stereotypically feminine and charming. They like it when a woman is kind, gentle, understanding, accommodating, etc

Men with Fire Venus are attracted to confident and independent women who have this it girl vibe to them

Something else I’ve noticed with Fixed Venus natives is that they have a thing for partners that have a mysterious or reserved vibe to them. Not necessarily introverted, but people who protect their privacy or keep to themselves a lot.

Mutable Venus fall for partners that have this very open and outgoing vibe to them. Again, not necessarily extroverted, but people who have a more bubbly personality

Cardinal Venus natives will only fall in love with someone who they deeply admire. They commit to people who have this put together/respectable vibe to them

Juno Observations...

I've actually observed Juno synastry is very significant in business relationships not just romantic ones. In fact, those married couple I've seen with heavy Juno synastry also tended to be involved in business together

Sagittarius Juno I've seen manifests mostly as the native getting a spouse that is very permissive and gives them a lot of freedom, a spouse that never says no to anything. This placement overall gives a very respectful and supportive spouse. However because of this the Sag Juno native will have a tendency to cross boundaries in the marriage and take their spouse for granted

In general both Sagittarius and Pisces Juno have a tendency to "abandon" their spouses either physically or emotionally and kinda forget about them from time to time. This doesn't necessarily have to mean disloyalty tho.

Sag Juno natives want to feel like they have the freedom to go and do their own thing, like they'll leave for days or weeks on end and their spouse won't mind and will indeed support the native. They don’t like to feel like marriage hinders their desire to live freely but rather encourages it. Side note: I have seen some cases in which Sag Juno natives actually did abandon their spouses/families either for another partner or because they were perusing better opportunities

Pisces Juno natives will give a more sacrificial energy kinda like "babe I love you but I have to go, I'm sorry". There's something that stops the native from actually being there for their spouse, but this placement indicates the spouse is bound to be very forgiving because they'll see is not your fault in a way

Cancer/Capricorn Juno is an indicator of having a marriage with traditional gender roles or traditional values.

I’ve noticed Scorpio Juno natives or Scorpio ASC in the Juno PC have a marriage that REALLY rubs people the wrong way. Others could see your relationship as toxic or even predatory in nature. People believe that you landed your spouse (or vice versa) through manipulation, abuse, deceit, stalking, controlling behavior, etc. This placement also means you met when either of you were going through a hard time so there could be some case of trauma bonding here

I’ve seen that soulmate relationships tend have their Junos in the same element (most common case). Honorary mentions: Juno in opposite signs or signs ruled by the same planet

Leo Juno natives are a bit flighty and afraid of commitment. They just want a partner for the sake of the romance and feeling spoiled. They want the relationship to stay fun and playful and really dislike the sense of seriousness and "settlement" that can come with marriage sometimes

With Juno in the 7th house either you or your spouse will be in a relationship when you meet

When looking at the Juno PC, Capricorn placements/Saturn in the angels/Saturn conjunct inner planets indicates long-lasting marriage

Fixed Juno natives will have a spouse that is completely fascinated and obsessed with them. You want your spouse to worship you specially with Leo and Taurus Juno. The way your spouse will love you will boost your ego thus acting more confidently after marriage. The energy of the marriage could be a little overbearing or suffocating depending on other aspects

I've observed this in virtually all cases with Virgo Juno have a tendency to attract very inconsiderate partners that make them feel like they're not good enough (the opposite can be true). They had unsuccessful first marriage that drained the shit out of them but they eventually find someone who is very modest and nurturing

Cancer/4th house Juno natives have a VERY hard time moving on from their exes if they ever saw that person as marriage material.

From what I've seen Capricorn Juno doesn't create that much of a delay or age gap in marriage. It can of course, but in most cases these natives marry in their late 20s to their first serious bf/gf and they usually have an age difference of 2-5 years approximately. This placements I’ve seen manifests mostly as “I married my high school/collage sweetheart and we’ve been together forever” kinda scenario OR marrying someone from your past you reconnect with later in life

Scorpio, Pisces, Capricorn and Aquarius Juno indicates you'll marry your soulmate or your relationship with your fs is karmic or from a past life. You might meet your spouse after fulfilling some karmic lesson or some life milestone

Cardinal Juno/Juno in the angles tend to be very proud of their spouses or being married in general. Could be the type to be very invested in finding a life partner cause they tend to turn marriage into a very essential part of their lives and themselves

work by astrobydalia

#astrology #astro #astro observations #astro notes #zodiac #birth chart #astrobydalia #astrology observations

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rocknrollbabe14 · 6 months

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Sad Eyes (Doctor!Joe x Nurse!Reader) Part One

Rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Warnings: cursing, mention of medical procedures and illnesses, one-bed trope, a lot of unprotected sex (be smart folks), oral sex (female receiving), creampie, ex-lovers--if I forgot anything let me know.

**I have been working on this for a long time. I started with the present day and will be working my way back through their past, switching between the past and present-day as you'll soon learn their past (and present-day) is and will become very complicated!**

***Also special thanks to @josephs-quinns for making my header! I love you!***

Also inspired by the song I linked above.

It was hard to focus on checking the charts at the end of your shift, one of the vital steps of preparing for the next shift to come on. You kept hearing chattering about how Dr. Joseph Quinn, your ex-fiancé had been asked to speak in Boston for the John Hopkins award ceremony about his continued research of curing type 1 diabetes in children and even being nominated for the Lasker Award, which granted, was a huge deal. Especially for your hospital.

In a surprising twist of fate, you all had ended up in the same facility, working together. Once again. At the end of the day, you all made a great team but it was hard to be in the same room with him. You were one of the charge nurses. Lately, you had been working the night shift since you were so short, and waking Dr. Quinn up was like waking the devil up some nights. All your co-workers dreaded calling, leaving the unwanted task to you. You didn’t mind—any chance to get under his skin was fun for you.

And you’d only call if it was warranted. For instance, the child was not getting better regardless of your interventions. The ones you could do without the doctor’s orders. You knew what he liked, what he preferred for his patients. If the child continued to decline, you’d call. He’d come in, sulking as usual. He wouldn’t greet you. It pissed you off, but as long as the patient was taken care of, there wasn’t much you could say. Before leaving, he’d give you orders in a monotone before either leaving as fast as he came or sticking around to see if the child improved, charting his interventions.

He was a good doctor—a great doctor when it came to interacting with children, talking to them in a soft voice, and explaining things on their level. He’d make them laugh, and make small talk about their favorite toys. You hated to watch him interact with children because it made you want to forget how he wronged you. It made your ovaries hurt, reminding you at one point that could have been in your future. It pained you slightly, making you look away before continuing your work.

“Hey Y/N.”, a fellow nurse, Rachel got your attention.

“Please tell me a child is not crashing.”, you groaned, barely looking up from your paperwork.

“No—Dr. Quinn is asking to speak to you.”

You sighed, rubbing your face. “Where is he?”

“Doctor’s dictation.”

You nodded, getting up from your chair. He was here unusually early this morning. However, he was a morning person. He’d go for runs before work, coming home to take a quick shower. You remembered it well. Some mornings, he’d wake you up before his shower and it would end in sex. There was something about him being all sweaty and warm, his cologne from the night before mixed with the musk of his natural pheromones.

You knocked on the door easily.

“Come in.”

You opened it easily, closing your eyes and preparing for the tongue-lashing. “What did I do this—?”

“Nothing.”, he responded easily, getting up and closing the door back. “I have a proposition for you.”

“And what’s that?”, you crossed your arms, trying to refrain from rolling your eyes.

He smiled that charming smile, the one that he knew made you weak in the knees. “Well, I’m up for the Lasker Award. And I’ve been asked to speak at John Hopkins about my ongoing research regarding curing type one diabetes in children.”

“The whole hospital knows that.”, you groaned, grabbing the door knob.

You were clearly not in the mood to put up with this tom-foolery.

“But I need a plus one.”, he eyed you, putting his hand over yours.

You glared at him. “And you don’t have someone you could call? A charming, handsome doctor with money?”

“It would be a good team-building experience for us.”

“Did you finally get reprimanded for your behavior?”

You moved your hand from the doorknob, crossing your arms, and deciding to finally hear him out.

He laughed easily, brushing through his curls. “I just know there’s been a lot of tension between us. And I want to try and make it better.”

Was he serious? Where was the Joseph that had been here for weeks? You felt the slight tension in the air, pondering this idea.

“The hospital’s going to pay for everything. This won’t go against your paid time off.”

“Separate hotel rooms?”

He nodded. Were you really about to give in and do this? Part of you began to think you’re psycho and the other half was debating the free food, free room, and a small break from the mundane work of being a nurse. But you truly loved working with kids even if the doctor you had to deal with was your ex and an ass at times.

“Fine. When are we leaving?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

He nodded. “Go home and pack. Our flight boards at nine in the morning. Also, pack some dresses. One for the awards. Some for dinner.”

You nodded, giving him a confused look. “Okay.”

“Be at the airport at eight?”

“Yeah, see you then. Goodnight—well good morning, Dr. Quinn.”

“Joe.”

“Dr. Quinn.”, you looked back at him as you opened the door, closing it gently behind you.

All the nurses were waiting for you to start huddle. Trying to gain your footing was hard, especially after being riddled with the suggestions Joe had. You weren’t used to him being nice anymore. Lately, he had been an asshole. Especially when he had been on a date a month ago, you had to call and interrupt because one of the children was crashing and fast. He came right in, suit and all. You explained everything that had happened, keeping good notes and keeping up with the child’s vitals.

He decided to intubate on the floor, sending the child straight to the ICU. You helped with the intubation, giving him the medicine and supplies he needed. You both worked together like a well-oiled machine contrary to popular belief. He did at least tell you that you had made the right call even if you knew that already. He said his date was out in the car as if he was trying to make you jealous. It may have worked slightly, but you didn’t let him know that.

After giving a report to the dayshift charge nurse, you went home. You stripped out of your uniform before getting a quick shower and washing your hair. Wrapping yourself in a towel, you began to pack for this trip. Part of you was still in disbelief you had agreed to do this. This was going to be a long few days and you weren’t quite sure how you were going to survive.

Another pediatrician agreed to pick up Joe’s load of patients, another nurse covering your shifts. You knew there was going to be talk about you both going together, but right now you didn’t care. That wasn’t your biggest issue at hand. The next morning you caught a cab to the airport, still trying to wake up. A text popped up on your phone.

-On your way to the airport?

How did Joe have your phone number? Granted, you hadn’t changed it since you all had dated. But then you remembered you had to call him from your personal cell phone while the phone lines were down one night.

-Yeah, should be there in 10-15.

It was just a second before another message popped up.

-Brill. See you soon. X

You rolled your eyes lightly as you continued to make small talk with the cab driver. It wasn’t long before you arrived at the airport, unloading your suitcase before making your way into the airport. You checked which gate you were leaving from again on your phone. Dropping your checked bag off was the easy part. Moving through the crowd of people wasn’t the first thing you wanted to do in the morning but here you were. You checked the gate number on your phone again, making sure you were in the right spot.

Butterflies began to rise in your stomach, and the nerves beginning to set in. You scanned the airport for any signs of Joe but didn’t see him. You felt someone tap your shoulder, causing you to jump and turn around.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s fine.”, you brushed your shirt easily.

“I brought coffee. Your favorite, iced mocha latte.”

“Thanks, but you didn’t have to.”

“I know,”, he began easily, setting his bag near yours. “I thought it was a kind gesture.”

You knew you were giving him a weird look. Since when did he make “kind” gestures for you? It was something you weren’t used to. Not anymore. That ship sailed when he decided to leave and chose his career over his fiancee.

“Thanks.”

It was tense and quiet between you both as you stood there, waiting for the announcement that your group was able to board. You sipped your iced coffee in silence, the awkwardness taking over. It felt like an eternity before they finally called your group number, Joe allowing you to go first. You closed your eyes, moving with the cord of people. This was going to be a long plane ride. Yours and Joe’s seats were together, him letting you choose whether you wanted the aisle or the window.

You chose the window, instantly stowing your purse below your seat. Joe was up, still working on putting his carry-on and yours in the overhead compartment. Trying to divert your attention was hard. Joe was tall but he was stretching, his shirt riding up. You swallowed hard, looking away just as you gained a glimpse of his stomach and happy trail. Memories instantly rushed through your head—waking up with him in the morning, your head on his chest. He’d wake up and ask you how you were before you both shared a lazy kiss before he’d pull you on top of him, whispering for you to fuck him before work.

“Got them.”, Joe breathed a sigh of relief, bringing you out of your daydream.

“Great.”, you smiled widely, the awkwardness apparent.

You focused on the other passengers boarding the plane, focusing in and out on the small talk you were sharing with Joe. Once everyone was boarded, the pilot began to read off the usual flight instructions as he prepared for take off. It had been a while since you had flown on a plane. The last time for Christmas to see your parents for a few days after, considering doctors and nurses never had a holiday. Joe could tell you were tense as the plane soared down the runway.

“Feeling okay?”

As if he really cared about your feelings or fears.

“Fine.”

“You’re knuckles are turning white.”, he eyed them on the armrest.

“I’m fine.”, you repeated with a slight nip in your voice.

He threw his hands up easily, resolving and backing off. “Okay.”

Once the plane got in the air and the turbulence settled, you felt some relief. There was silence between you and Joe for a bit and you hoped if maybe you closed your eyes, he’d leave you alone. Somehow, you ended up falling asleep. All you remember was waking up to the announcement that the plane would begin preparing to land soon at Baltimore-Washington International Airport.

“Get a good nap?”, Joe asked with a smirk, peering over glasses and up from his papers.

“Um, yeah. I was exhausted.”, you mumbled, sitting up and hoping you hadn’t snored or drooled all over the place.

“Didn’t you sleep?”, his voice was half condescending.

“Night shift sucks.”

He nodded. “So does getting woken up in the middle of the night.”

You glared easily, narrowing your eyes. “At least you get paid well.”

“Mhm,”, he agreed. “I just love being woken up by your voice at two a.m.”

You felt your heart drop down into your stomach, opening your mouth to give a sarcastic response but you were interrupted by the pilot announcing you all would be preparing for landing, the plane descending quickly. That was the worst part for you after all the ear infections and trouble you had with your ears as a child. Joe didn’t speak to you, just watching you plug your ears. Landing was miserable for you. You counted down the minutes until it would be over.

After what felt like an eternity, you landed successfully. Joe grabbed your all’s bags from the overhead compartment, letting you go in front of him. What a gentleman, was chivalry dead? The airport was busy, full of hustle and bustle.

“Want to grab something to eat or something before we grab our bags and head to the hotel?”

It had taken six hours to complete the flight from Portland to Baltimore.

“Fine.”, you agreed.

You seemed to be distant, not talking much while you all sat at the bar called Martini. He ordered his usual—a filthy martini while you opted for your usual, a pina colada. He watched as you took a bite of your sandwich before chasing it down with a sip from your drink. Your eyes shot over to him, causing him to look away. He could remember the mornings you’d make him breakfast on the days you were off, sitting beside him at the bar in the kitchen.

It was a kind gesture that always made his mornings better. He’d take a sip of coffee before you both leaned in for a kiss.

“Want another drink, Joe?”, you asked, springing him out of his daydream.

The waiter eyed you both attentively, waiting for a response. You both agreed to another cocktail before agreeing this would be the last one. You wanted to get to the hotel and get settled in before his dinner plans came about. This would give you the chance to freshen up, maybe grab a shower and a quick nap. The waiter brought the ticket, you snatching it up before Joe could.

“What are you doing?”

“Seeing how much my part is.”, you slurred lightly before opening your wallet and digging for your cash.

“Don’t worry about it. I got it.”, he wrestled to grab the ticket from your hand.

“No, you’re not paying for my stuff. Just because I’m a nurse doesn’t mean I’m poor.”

He eyed you, his brown eyes open in surprise. “I never said you’re poor. I’m just trying to do something nice for you.”

“Why? Because you talk to me like shit on the phone?”

You gasped as the sentence left your mouth, never intending to say it. You were thinking it, but the alcohol had decided that you would open your mouth and insert your foot. Drunk words were sober thoughts or some shit like that.

Joe eyed you, his brain trying to process everything.

“I mean—I know I’m kinda a jerk on the phone sometimes.”

“Joe.”

“No, you’re absolutely right. I’m an asshole.”, he chuckled bluntly before throwing back the rest of his drink.

You sighed, beginning to feel guilty for even saying it. If you could take your spiteful words back, you would have. Looking down at your phone, you began to feel awkward. Maybe you should have stayed in Portland, never coming with him in the first place. You knew better—you knew how this was going to play out. There were still deep-seated feelings of betrayal and hurt between you both. No small trip was going to fix that.

“I didn’t mean it.”, you said easily, fiddling with your fingers.

Joe chuckled to himself before looking up at you. “Those were real words. Your real feelings about how you feel that I treat you.”

You groaned. “I’m a little tipsy.”

“But tipsy enough to tell me basically you feel like I treat you like shit.”

“You do.”

“Do not.”

“Do so.”, you eyed him.

“How?”

“Can we please just drop it?”, you groaned, grabbing your purse.

“Fine.”, Joe resolved, clearly looking defeated.

You all got up, Joe looking on his phone to get an Uber. Grabbing your luggage, it was finally time to go to the hotel. You bit your lip, trying to focus on the fact that soon you’d be in your own hotel room and you could decompress. You could be alone in your thoughts, maybe get yourself together. There was hardly any conversation between you both as waited for the Uber.

“What kind of vehicle is it?”, you asked, looking away from him.

“Um, black Toyota Camry.”

“I think this is it.”, you muttered as you grabbed your suitcase.

You and Joe opened the back doors simultaneously.

“Quinn?”, the driver asked.

“Yes, that’s me.”, Joe said easily, fixing his glasses.

He was super casual today, wearing glasses and a baseball cap. He looked good in his t-shirt and button-up, jeans, and tennis shoes. You’d never known he was a doctor by just looking at him. You closed your eyes, buckling up and mentally cursing yourself for thinking about how good he actually looked. There was no way you were going to be wrapped back up in this trap again. Not with him. You couldn’t do this. You could barely be civil at work.

You looked out the window, trying to avoid him at all costs.

“So traveling for work or pleasure? A couple getaway?”

“Um—”

“No. We’re traveling for work.”, you interrupted.

Joe shot you a look as the driver seemed to sense the tension between you both. There was some small talk as you all took the twenty-minute drive to the hotel you were staying at. You couldn’t wait until this car ride was over so you could have some distance and space. You needed a hot bath and maybe some wine. The wine sounded really good.

You all pulled up to the entrance of the hotel, the driver announcing you had arrived. Joe grabbed both of your suitcases, unloading them as the driver waved goodbye and drove away.

“I can take my stuff.”

He handed it to you without putting up any fight or argument. You walked ahead of him, anxious to get to your room. Joe couldn’t help but look at you, your jeans fitting tighter than your scrubs did. He swallowed hard, trying to distract himself and look anywhere else but your body. He could remember you coming home after work while he was on call. You in the scrubs that hugged your body just right, he’d instantly beg to fuck you. He’d feel up on you while you hung your coat up and put your purse away.

“We have reservations.”, you spoke, bringing Joe back to reality.

“Name please.”

“Joseph Quinn.”, Joe spoke up, standing behind you.

“Okay. A room with a king-size bed.”, the receptionist eyed the computer, clicking through a few things with her mouse.

“I’m sorry? There’s supposed to be two rooms.”, you spoke up.

The clerk stopped, looking up at you. “I’m sorry. We are all booked up. That’s what your reservation was for.”

You looked back at Joe, feeling as if he had lied to you. You weren’t surprised by this behavior. It wasn’t the first time he had misled you.

“I thought you said it was two rooms.”

“It was. The hospital must have made a mistake—maybe they thought I was the only one going. Are you sure there are no other rooms available?”, he pushed his glasses up on his nose.

“I’m sorry sir. This is the only room we have available.”

“But there was supposed to be one for me and one for my nurse.”

You rolled your eyes at him before turning back to the clerk. “Does this have a sofa sleeper?”

Your grip tightened on the handle of your suitcase. In the back of your mind, you knew there was an ulterior motive. He was trying to be sneaky—he knew this entire time that there was only one bed in the room. Closing your eyes, you could feel the anger rise in your chest. You were so over this damn trip already. What the hell were you thinking when you agreed to go with him?

“Yes, mam.”

“Fine.”, you agreed, looking at Joe before crossing your arms. “Just—let’s take it. I’m tired.”

“Are you sure?”, Joe turned to look at you.

“Yes. Where else are we gonna go? The hospital paid for it. Let’s just take it.”

“Okay, fine.”, Joe turned back to the receptionist, before taking the keys from her. “Thank you, darling.”

“Of course.”

Joe grabbed his suitcase at the same time you grabbed yours. Feeling infuriated, you walked ahead of him to the elevator. Pressing the button for the elevator, you let out a loud sigh. Joe noticed but chose to ignore it. He knew you were pissed off at him. Even though, none of this was his fault. The elevator dinged, arriving at the lobby. Stepping inside, you were the only two in the elevator. It was complete silence until you arrived at the sixth floor.

Exiting the elevator, you pulled out your key to unlock the door. Joe could tell in your body language you were angry with him. He had seen it one too many times while you both were together. You threw the door open a little aggressively. He followed behind you, carefully closing the door behind you both. Now, you were locked in a room with him. For how many hours?

“I’ll take the couch. You can have the bed.”, Joe said easily.

“Fine.”, you responded.

Joe eyed you, watching you open your suitcase and take out your clothes and toiletry bag before going straight into the bathroom and closing the door behind you. He sat down on the couch, feeling defeated. Somehow, he had still managed to fuck up and you all weren’t together. He leaned back against the couch as he heard you start the water. He closed his eyes, trying not think about you in the shower. How could you be so close yet so far away?

Squeezing his eyes tighter, he tried to shove the thoughts of water running down your body out of his mind. He groaned as he felt his cock twitch just at the thought of you naked. He couldn’t do this—not here, not now.

“Fuck.”, he hissed, palming the bulge in his jeans—anything to get it to disappear.

Trying to focus his attention elsewhere, he grabbed his papers from his briefcase while looking down at the copy of his speech. It was handwritten, several lines crossed out and rewritten. He had worked on it endless nights—perfecting it. Most nights, he had barely drifted off before you were calling him to come back to work. Continuing to hear the water run, he looked down and began to read his speech from the beginning aloud.

He managed to run through it three times before he finally heard the water shut off. The sound of you sliding the shower curtain across the metal rod reached his ear. He bit his lip, waiting for you to throw open the door. It was quiet for a few minutes before he heard you open the door, smelling the scent of your body wash and perfume waft out of the bathroom behind you. He was fighting the urge to turn and look at you.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, you asked easily.

“Tell you what?”

Joe was surprised you were even speaking to him.

“There was only one room.”

During your shower, you had tried to talk yourself down before confronting him. You didn’t want to lose your cool on him. You had to work with him every day.

“I didn’t know.”, Joe said honestly as he looked up at you, his eyes over his glasses.

“I’ve heard this lie before.”, you laughed sarcastically. “Like when you said you had no idea you were going to have to relocate to Portland to be an attending in one of the most prestigious programs, becoming the head of pediatrics.”

You folded your clothes from the day, your lace gown brushing above your thighs. You didn’t make eye contact with him.

“I—”

“Please just save it, Joe.”

Joe’s mouth dropped open, face crinkling in confusion. “Y/N.”

“No—you act like it’s such an inconvenience. Like your life is so hard. It must be so hard—such a burden to be a doctor. You have to worry about giving a speech about your ongoing research to cure type one diabetes in children. Oh—and be nominated for the Lasker Award. I’m so sorry your life is so hard, doctor.”, you spat bitterly.

Joe scoffed before laughing bitterly in return. “This is a huge deal for me—for my career. This could change children’s lives. It could change medicine as we know it. I’ve worked hard—so fucking hard to be here and you’re not going to downplay it and take this away from me. I refuse for it to happen.”

You turned to see the fire in his brown eyes, narrowing your own. You had struck a nerve in him. You felt the anger rising in your chest. He could and would never accept accountability for his actions. Why couldn’t he just admit he was wrong? His pride always got in the way.

“Right. I forgot. You always choose your fucking career. It’s the most important thing in your life, isn’t it? More important than the people you love.”, you placed your hands on your hips.

Joe groaned, rolling his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration and closing his eyes. This reminded him so much of fights you all would have at night once he got home from being on call. It was exhausting, he hated fighting with you. Your whole relationship was far from perfect, but he felt like you all were worth fighting for.

“Does it keep you warm at night?”

“Y/N.”, Joe said in a low tone, begging you to stop while you were ahead.

“Do you enjoy going to bed alone?”

“Y/N.”, he repeated, coming closer.

“Do you have a good fucking time jerking yourself off? That’s all you’re ever going to have. Especially if you continue to choose your career over the woman you supposedly loved.”

“For fucks sake!”, Joe snapped before grabbing your waist, pushing you against the wall.

You tried to protest, asking him what the hell he thought he was doing before his lips crashed into yours, you instantly melting into his kiss. You hated yourself for it, the old familiar feeling returning. It felt so wrong, but felt so right. Your tensed muscles relaxed as one hand found your waist, the other cupping your cheek. His hands were strong, large as your mind remembered they knew your body. He had memorized every curve, every freckle, every imperfection. But it was all perfect to him.

He pulled away, breaking the kiss as you looked up at him. Your eyes were locked into each other’s, neither one breaking contact.

Your face was crinkled in confusion. “Joe, what the—?”

He cut you off, his lips crashing back into yours. You didn’t fight it, part of you didn’t want to. It felt just like old times, the familiarity returning. It was like coming home after being gone for months. You had missed it whether you wanted to admit it or not. You had missed him. It felt like you both were miles away from each other even if you worked together on a daily basis. He pressed you closer against the wall, bringing his body closer to yours, eliciting a small moan from you. He chuckled lightly into the kiss.

Joe’s hands moved from your waist, trailing lightly down to the hem of your short-laced gown. You felt his fingers brush the midline of your thigh before he caressed your thigh, pulling the gown up in the same motion. He moved his hands until the gown was near your breasts. He wanted to squeeze them so bad—he was going to, if you’d let him. You broke the kiss momentarily, long enough for him to pull the gown up and over your head, leaving you only in your laced thong panties.

“Fuck—a thong?”, Joe eyed you, brown eyes gleaming in the low light.

“Yeah.”, your breath hitched easily.

“So sexy—I know you wear them at work.”

Your eyes narrowed. “And how so?”

Joe chuckled again, feeling you pull at the hem of his t-shirt. He allowed you to pull it up and over his head, careful not to knock his glasses off his nose. You admired his chest, tossing his shirt to the side before running your hands over his chest. He inhaled sharply, closing his eyes before you brushed your hands down to his abdomen. He had to have been working out, running or maybe the gym.

“Because,”, his breathing caught. “You wear tighter scrub pants and I can always see the line of the thong trailing up your perky, tight ass.”

“You look at my ass?”

He chuckled again before shrugging. “Yeah, I love to see you walk away. What can I say?”

You rolled your eyes, reaching for the button on his jeans. “You men are pigs.”

“No—I just admire the view. If you’re gonna wake me up in the middle of the night, I should get something out of it.”

You undid the button on his jeans, feeling them go slack. “Nice to know.”

“Look,”, Joe groaned as he felt you unzip the zipper, finding the rest of his happy trail. “Do you know how many times I have to bite my tongue because other residents, other attendings are talking about how they wanna get in your pants?”

You paused, meeting his eyes. “They say that?”

He nodded. “Yeah. And I have to bite my tongue so damn hard.”

His jeans fell to the floor, he held your arms as he stepped out of them. Using his foot, he scooted them to the corner with his t-shirt. His baseball cap was on the table as you entered the room, the first thing he had removed. You couldn’t help but swallow hard as your eyes wandered down to his boxers. He was so hard and just for you. Fingers fumbling and shaking lightly, you pulled the waistband of his boxers down, beginning to expose him.

He inhaled sharp as you slid them down his thighs, following them. His hands moved to your shoulders, supporting you as you became face level with his cock. He groaned softly as his hands moved to your hair, tugging it lightly. Just enough to make you moan a little. For a moment, you debated taking him in your mouth but that’d have to wait.

“If they only knew how much attitude and sass you had.”, Joe swallowed hard.

You found the strength to raise your body back up, glaring at him. “You bring it out of me.”

He chuckled before moving his hands under your ass cheeks, picking you up in one swift motion. You squealed easily as he carried you to the pure white king-sized bed. It wouldn’t be for long. He continued to kiss you as he eased you down on the bed, climbing on top of you. His cock dug into your thigh as if it were begging to enter you already. Were you really going to let your ex-fiancé fuck you? Inhibition was out the door, the voice of reason fading.

“You’ve been so bitchy at work lately.”, his brown eyes resolved, him towering over you in bed.

He kissed you before you could respond, his hands roaming over your body before stopping at your breasts, giving them a squeeze and causing you to moan in his mouth.

“I have—to be a bitch. You’re such—a dick—especially at night when I have to call you.”, you barely got out between kisses as he took your nipple, twisting it and working it between his fingers.

This was the moment he had been waiting for.

“You’re always the one who calls.”, he chuckled. “Do you like hearing my voice that much?”

Your eyes closed, your moan filling the hotel room. “No—the other girls are scared—to call you. Always—ask me to do it.”

“Oh,”, he said raising his eyebrows in surprise. “Well maybe I’m so irritable because I always have to take care of myself…and then I wake up alone.”

His head dipped, becoming flush with your chest. He took your other breast in his mouth, beginning to suck and nibble at your nipple causing you to dig your nails into his back. He groaned, mouth full of your breast. Truth was, he loved feeling your nails dig into his skin. It made him feel like you needed him—craved him. It was animalistic, your instincts taking over. You wanted—needed him to fuck you.

“Maybe—if you weren’t such an asshole—”, you hissed as he bit your nipple, the pain quickly turning into pleasure. “And chose your career over the people—you love, you’d have someone to wake up to and—fuck!”

He smirked, biting and sucking your nipple to get you off track or at least make it hard to finish your sentence.

“Take care of you.”, you whimpered, feeling his teeth ease up.

He leaned up, his weight lifting off of you. His broad, thick fingers found the side of your thong while you watched him with eager eyes. You cleared your throat easily, feeling the hoarseness beginning to sink in already. Your eyes wandered briefly down to his cock, his precum already oozing at the head.

“Just gonna move my panties to the side and fuck me?”

“Is that what you want? Wanna sass me?”, his brown eyes fixed on your vulnerable state.

You didn’t respond before speaking again. “Do you realize how much of a dick you truly are when I wake you up? It’s like you’re disappointed to hear my voice?”

“I have to come in and see you. I think I have a right to be irritable.”

He slid your thong down your thighs, legs, and ankles before cupping in his hands and bringing them to his face.

“What are you doing?”, you asked, face crinkled in confusion.

He put them to his nose, inhaling the scent of you, your cunt. “Fuck. Makes me wanna taste you.”

“Um—”, you tried to sit up slightly.

“Relax, lay back. Your scent arouses me.”

You laid back gently into the bed, just like he asked. Your hair was sprawled out behind you, and you felt yourself sink into the plush king-sized bed. After he was done getting your scent, he laid your panties to the side just in the event that he needed a reminder. You looked up at him, rubbing up his broad shoulders. He wasted no time in positioning himself, lining his cock right up with your throbbing, wet cunt.

Locking eyes, he asked you silently if you were ready for this. You gave him a light nod before he lined himself up again with you, brushing your cunt with his cock. He was teasing you, this was the calm before the storm. Your thoughts were interrupted as he shoved himself deep inside of you, splitting you open.

You gasped, gripping his arms while sinking your nails in his skin. “FUCK—you know I only—call if the child isn’t improving. And—we can’t manage it.”, you moaned the last of your sentence causing a smile to spread across his lips.

“Mhmm, you always have everything ready for me like a good little nurse.”, his palm brushed hair out of your face and back behind your ear.

You glared at him softly. “I just—don’t wanna hear your shit.”

He laughed while pushing deeper inside of you, his rhythm steady. A soft sigh escaped your lips, eyes fluttering shut. Your mind was overstimulated. If breathing didn’t come naturally, you would have forgotten to do that.

“I’m trying to compliment you.”, he groaned as he narrowed his eyes, glasses attempting to fog.

Your eyes opened, hands moving to his face. You brushed through his sideburns, hooking your fingers on the frame of his glasses. You slid them off his face gently and carefully, moving them to the pillow away from you both to prevent them from getting bent and twisted.

“Anything—to get in my pants, right?”

“Didn’t take a lot of effort.”, he grunted, rutting inside of you.

“Fuck—you.”, you moaned, turning your head while feeling him place aggressive, hungry kisses on your neck.

“Oh, we already are, love.”

You didn’t respond, the sounds of sex filling the hotel room. You could hear how wet he was making you, the sound of you both intertwined together. It was the perfect storm—the rush of knowing better, knowing you shouldn’t be doing this, and the fact that he was balls deep inside of you.

“Deeper—harder, please.”, you whined pitifully.

You shut your eyes quickly, realizing how pathetic you sounded. It made you cringe at how much power he had over you. Even after all he had done, all he had put you through.

“Anything for you.”, he brushed your face, causing your eyes to shoot open.

His rhythm changed, the effort he put in changed. He was determined to make you orgasm, he needed to feel you clench around his cock. He needed to feel your juices wash over his cock. The thought alone almost made him whine. You all stared deep into each other eye’s as he continued to thrust deep inside you, balls smacking against your ass. Joe might have been a dick at times, but he was good at two things—being a doctor and sex.

Joe pulled your right leg over his shoulder, allowing himself more leverage as he continued to fuck himself into you.

“Fuck—Joe.”

“What, love?”

There was love.

“Feels good.”

“Does it?”, Joe breathed, placing a small kiss on your leg.

Were you really going to feed his ego right now? It was going to be big enough when he won his award. You had a feeling he would win. And you knew that no one would shut up about it. Not at the hospital. Not

“Fuck—yeah, Joe. I’m getting close…..”

Your answer was long and drawn out in a moan. You could feel your release barreling towards you like a train. No matter how badly you wanted to ride this out or savor this feeling, your body wasn’t going to let that happen. The hot, aching feeling of your orgasm was rising in your stomach, causing it to twist and knot as Joe grunted with each thrust. You let out a few small, abrupt moans signaling you were ready to cum all over his cock.

The sounds you made were like music to his ears, the sweetest symphony that he had missed.

“Cum for me, please cum for me—all over my cock.”

“Fuck—Joe….”, you bucked your hips slightly.

“What is it, love?”

“I’m gonna fucking—cum. Like right now.”

“Oh fuck, love. Cum please.”

Your toes curled, one the surefire signs you were cumming. “Fuck….”, you hissed before digging and running your nails down his back. “Cumming now, Joe.”

“That’s right, love. That’s so fucking sexy.”

He felt the walls of your cunt tighten around his cock, drowning him in your juices. You whined, the tension that had built up finally breaking loose. He slowed his thrusts, allowing you to ride out your orgasm only intensifying it in the process. You cried out, going slack against him as he continued to fuck himself into you.

He bent down and planted a soft kiss on your lips. “Amazing, love.”

Your body began to feel relaxed as you began to come down from your high, the sensitivity of him being inside you causing you to writhe.

“I’m gonna cum.”, he warned as he looked into your hazy eyes.

“Cum, Joe. Cum deep inside of me.”, you begged.

You knew it was the lust talking. If you had been thinking rationally, you would have thought about the fact you were no longer on birth control. You would have realized the possibility of becoming pregnant. But right now, you didn't care.

“Oh—love, here it comes.”, he warned.

He went stiff, hips stuttering as you felt his cock pump his seed deep inside you. The warm cum filled your cunt as he allowed himself to ride the high of his orgasm. Your eyes rolled back as he held himself steady, fingertips sinking into your ass. He was gonna keep himself buried deep inside of you, making sure he was finished cumming. Your chest was heaving, knees trembling. The adrenaline high was still there.

Without warning, he easily pulled out, eliciting a whimper from you at the loss of contact.

“How—was—that?”, he breathed as he fell beside you.

“Good—really good.”

“Just good?”, he seemed offended slightly.

“I don’t want to boost your ego too much.”, you smirked at him.

He rolled his eyes before pulling you over close to him, beginning to slowly kiss your neck. In between kisses he was sucking on your neck, desperate to leave his mark on you. Your leg wrapped around his, giving into him. Your arms wrapped around his neck, gripping his shoulders. He wasn’t done with you yet.

“What are—you doing?”, you sighed between kisses.

“I’m not gonna stop until you tell me this was amazing, earth-shattering sex.”, he chuckled.

You sighed into him, feeling his cock becoming hard again. It was digging into your thigh as he sucked on your neck. He was needy, desperate to be inside you again. He hungered for you, only you.

“Joe….”

“Yes, love?”, he spoke against you, teeth sunk in the soft delicate skin of your neck.

“Fuck.”

As his teeth let go, you felt a stinging sensation in your neck. He had done it, you knew he had.

“Mhm, now you’re mine.”, he chuckled, admiring his work by rubbing over the hickey and causing it to throb.

He was being cheeky and if the truth was being told, you loved it. You loved when he playfully teased you. You could handle this Dr. Quinn a lot better than the one at work who was uptight, grumpy, and a dick.

“I have an idea.”, he spoke suddenly, beginning to kiss your neck again.

You twisted your arm to be able to cup his chin, running your hand through his hair. “Hm?”

It was clear that he was still pussy drunk, you were cock drunk.

“Why don’t you let me take you from behind?”

Your stomach twisted at his words, moaning slightly into his touch. “And why should I?”

“Mhm, you’ve been a bad girl. Need to be punished—and reminded who is your boss.”, he gave your breast a squeeze causing you to moan.

He leaned up, shifting in the bed. “So why don’t you be a good little girl and get face down, ass up?”

His brown eyes had a fire in them as they stared deeply into yours. Your stomach was knotting up at the thought of him doing you from behind. You leaned up, lips crashing into his. His hand brushed over your cheek, catching a handful of your hair. Every kiss with him was like magic, finally finding something you had lost.

“I’m—not gonna be so—soft.”, he moaned easily through kisses.

“Okay—fair.”

You broke the kiss unexpectedly, causing him to wear a confused expression in return. You smirked easily as you shifted in bed, giving him a cheeky smile before grabbing the pillow at the head of the bed and cuddling it before wiggling around. You nestled down into the bed, sighing as you did just as he asked—face down, ass up.

“Fuck, you’re so sexy. I swear.”, he groaned as his thick hands found your hips, sinking his fingertips in them causing your breathing to hitch and a small moan to escape.

“Tsk—tsk. So hard to work together when I have such a naughty, hard to please nurse.”

If he wasn’t going to fuck your brains out, you would have fought with him then and there. You felt his hands slide down from your hips down to your ass before squeezing it. You moaned out, gripping your pillow tight and preparing yourself for the onslaught of sex he was about to give you. He chuckled devilishly, knowing he had you right where he wanted you.

“I’m already so hard for you.”, he breathed as he leaned down to place a kiss on the small of your back.

“Yeah?”, you turned your head, gripping the pillow.

“Mhm, yeah. Can’t wait to be deep inside you and remind you who’s your boss.”

“What are you waiting—for then?”, you breathed.

“Someone’s ready for my cock to be buried deep into their cunt, hm?”, he teased, feeling his breath on your back.

“Yes.”

He chuckled easily while rubbing your hips, positioning himself to enter you. His cock brushed against your puffy, aching entrance. Yes? Were you really giving in to him? He was surprised that you admitted it so easily. He had been so used to you giving him a hard time, fighting against him.

“Fuck—still so wet.”, he inhaled sharply.

“Just came—can’t help it.”, you breathed.

“No—it’s a great thing.”, he reassured you.

You didn’t get a chance to respond before you felt him slip deep inside you, causing you to moan and grip the pillow so tight your knuckles turned white. This time, he didn’t give you a chance to adjust. Your eyes were wide, and it felt like he was splitting you wide open. You knew it was the fact that he was getting more leverage, able to go deeper inside you.

“Feeling okay, love?”

His question was almost half concerned, half taunting.

“Fi—ne.”

He chuckled, beginning to move inside you. He groaned as his rhythm picked up, sinking his fingers in the plush of your ass.

“Shouldn’t you—be perfecting your speech?”

“You want me to?”

You felt him slide himself all the way out of you, shocking you. You whimpered pathetically at the loss of contact.

“Joe…”, the plead in your voice was pathetic.

“What? I mean—you’re right. I should be perfecting my speech.”

“I didn’t—mean it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Sorry—I’m sorry.”

“You’re what?”, Joe grabbed your hips.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, love. I couldn’t hear you.”, his voice taunted.

You closed your eyes, knowing damn well he could hear you.

“I said—I’m sorry.”, you finally spoke up.

“One more time—sorry my doctor ears must not be able to hear very well.”

“I said—I’m sorry.”, you clenched your teeth, rolling your eyes and showing off that sass he talked so much about.

“Ah, okay. I guess I could accept your apology, nurse Y/N.”, he chuckled with arrogance and ease.

You rolled your eyes, a smile spreading across your face as he teased your entrance again. You felt your chest rise, a sharp inhale. He loved watching you fall apart under his touch. But little did you know, he would be there to pick up the pieces. Even it was just for the night. You couldn’t imagine how dumb this decision was—to sleep with your ex fiancé and have sex with him not once—but multiple times.

“You do?”

“Mhm, I do.”, he smirked as he slipped himself back inside of you causing you to moan loudly enough to fill the entire hotel room. “And that sound makes it so worth it.”

“I hate—you.”, you glared back at him.

“Do you? You have a bad way of showing it.”, his finger sank into your hips as he picked up his rhythm.

“Fu—ck!”

He chuckled, watching you come undone. His hands moved up and down your body in perfect rhythm while he fucked you out. It was as if all the tension and frustration from before was finally coming to a head. You were making up for lost time, for all those times you both were pissed at one another.

You heard his grunts as he rutted himself into you. “Like that?”

“Love—it.”, you moaned honestly.

Your sexual desire was overtaking you. It had been a long time since you’d been fucked. Months—almost a year. A lot of the sex you had was trying to forget him. Like near holidays or his birthday. You weren’t proud to admit it, but it was the truth. And no one you seem to fucked could compare to him. They weren’t him. It was that simple. The news of other doctors liking you was no surprise, but you had no interest in them.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ tight.”, he groaned.

In the back of your mind, you knew there was no way he had abstained from sexual activity. You were sure there were countless women he had fucked since you. Your brain immediately tried to send the thought away.

“Joe….”, your mouth was becoming dry.

There was no doubt he was an attentive lover during sex, always asking if you were okay and praising you—making you feel good.

“Yes? Ready to cum?”, his hands found your ass, squeezing the globes of your ass in his thick, broad hands eliciting a moan from you.

“Ye—ah.”

“Hm,”, he hummed in satisfaction. “Cum for me. Cum all over my fucking cock.”

The closer you came to a release, the dirtier his talk became. He was an educated man inside of the hospital, using proper medical terminology. But here in the bedroom, he was sexually charged with desire and lust.

“Fuck, Joe.”, you hissed through a moan as his speed picked up lightly, the sound of his balls smacking against your ass filling the room.

As badly as you hated to admit it, he knew your body better than anyone. He knew exactly what he needed to do to get you across the finish line.

“What, love? Ready to cum for me?”

You nodded breathlessly, gripping the pillow for dear life as if it would provide you any tangible support.

“Answer my question.”, he grunted as he rubbed your ass.

You knew what would follow.

Your brain and mouth weren’t doing a very good job coordinating, failing you at this very moment. Joe rarely saw you at a loss for words, but here you were.

“Are you gonna answer me, love?”

“Try—ing.”, you squeaked.

“Not hard enough.”, he teased back.

That was the last thing you heard before he drew his hand back, feeling it make contact with your ass and causing you to jump slightly, jarring his cock inside of you.

“Easy, love.”, he chuckled. “Don’t wanna hurt this pretty cunt of yours. Would love to go again tonight.”

“What was that—for?”, you choked out.

“Just reminding you of who’s your boss, here.”

You groaned while rolling your eyes, settling back down into the bed and making it a point to wiggle your ass at him. It was dangling a piece of meat on a string to a starving animal. But it also felt so good with his cock inside of you, him never losing his hard-on or accidentally slipping out of you.

“You love to hold it over me—don’t you?”

“What’s that?”

“The fact I answer to you.”

“Maybe, you’re the only one who puts up a fight with me. Never meek like you used to be. Kinda turns me on if I’m being honest—hearing your sassy little mouth in the middle of the night.”

You felt your stomach do a flip. He was referring to when you first became licensed as a registered nurse. You preferred not look back at those days, only looking forward.

“Do you want me to cum or not?”, you hissed.

“Oh fuck, do I? It’s all I’ve wanted.”

He went back to that rhythm, the one he knew would make you cum within minutes. He wasn’t going to be mischievous anymore—not this time.

“Tell me more.”, you breathed.

“About what?”

“Me…what turns you on about me.”, you breathed.

“Um, well…”, he began. “For starters, it’s super sexy when you already know what I want when I get there—you’ve already got things ready for me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah—makes me want to take you to an on call room and fuck you…after we stabilize the kid, of course.”

“Of course.”, you hummed in agreement.

“Just didn’t think you’d be up for it. So, I always go back home and jerk off in bed under my silk sheets.”

Your breathing hitched. “You never asked.”

He moaned lightly before resolving to a sigh. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Pain had long melted into pleasure, your stomach knotting up. It always seemed like the second time you released was easier, and faster than the first. But Joe knew what he was doing, especially when it came to you.

“Tell—me—more.”, you pleaded through a moan, the sound of sex filling the room.

“Okay,”, he swallowed, hands roaming your body. “I find it really sexy when I watch you interact with kids—like the one who was scared to go to surgery for his appendix last week. You gave him one of the little blue teddy bears and reassured him. He hugged you, I imagined what you would have been like as a mother. If we had stayed together.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach at his admission. “You did?”

“Yeah, made me want kids again.”, he groaned as he hit the spot that made you forget your name.

Your thoughts went out the window, brain now focused on your sexual release. You dropped the subject entirely, moaning as you gripped the pillow tighter.

“Joe…..”

“Yes?”

“Gonna cum—like right now—can’t wait.”, you moaned out as you closed your eyes.

“Mhmm, cum for me. Want me to fill your cunt full again?”, he groaned as he became flush with your body, placing a lazy kiss on your shoulder.

“Fu—ck. Oh my God.”, you hissed.

You felt your cunt tighten around his cock, juices washing over his cock. He was barely moving inside of you now, giving you a chance to ride out your orgasm. His slight movements inside of you intensified your orgasm, your eyes rolling back in your head. This was the earth-shattering sex he was talking about, the one you had missed. Even when you had slept with someone else, it wasn’t as good. No one compared to him and they never would.

“That’s it, love. Feels so good on my cock.”

Your legs began to shake, feeling the aftershock of your orgasm coursing through your body.

“God, I missed your cunt.”

“That all you missed?”, you moaned into your pillow lightly, brushing your hair out of your face.

“No.”, he kissed your shoulder again, pausing his movement.

“Whatever.”, you smirked easily. “Are you gonna cum or not?”

“I want to.”, he chuckled. “But you never answered my question.”

“Which one?”, you sighed, beginning to come down off your high as you snuggled into your pillow.

“If you want me to cum inside of you or pull out.”

“Just cum in me. You already have.”

“Okay. Are you sure?”, he breathed as he began tp pick his rhythm back up, gripping your hips and pulling you back to him slightly causing you to squeal lightly.

“Mhmm, don’t ask again—I might change my mind.”

You snuggled into your pillow, eyes beginning to become hazy. It felt like you were floating, but you weren’t complaining. His hands wandered to your ass, squeezing it and making you moan even if he had already taken care of you.

“I love to see you all fucked out.”

“Yeah?”, you hummed, chills cascading down your body at his choice of words.

“Mhm, it was always my favorite thing.”

“Thought you said you wanted to go again.”

“We don’t have to right after this.”

You nodded easily, letting him have his way with you. You wanted him to cum—you wanted to feel his hot, sticky release. It was even better when it was running down your thighs.

“Fuck—I’m gonna cum.”, he hissed.

“Cum, Joe. Fill me full, please.”, you begged, helping him cross the finish line this time.

That was all he needed to hear. You felt his hips stutter as he sank his fingertips into your hips, a loud groan escaping him as he warned you of his release just seconds before you felt his cock pumping his seed deep inside of you. The warmness flooded through your cunt, causing a smile to spread across your face. He was trying to catch his breath, holding himself steady as he made sure that none was wasted. Not that he was trying to get you pregnant, he wasn’t. But for right now, the thought wasn’t such a bad idea. It made him feel like he had a purpose for staying in you so long.

A sigh escaped you, finally feeling relaxed that you both had a release. Half of you was debating asking him to stay inside you and cuddling you. It wasn’t such a bad idea, plus you needed a little aftercare, right?

“Ready for me to pull out?”, he asked, bringing you out of your fantasy.

“Yeah, just please be easy.”

“Oh I will, love.”

With that, you braced yourself by tightening your grip on your pillow. He eased himself out of you, leaving his seed buried deep inside. You whimpered at the loss of contact, causing him to rub your shoulder easily and give it another gentle kiss. He laid in bed beside of you, pulling you towards him. He pulled the sheet up and over you.

“Want to cuddle and go to sleep?”

“Oh, we can’t cuddle.”, you were beginning to come to your senses and out of your cock drunken state.

“Why not?”

“Because.”, you sat up easily, feeling some of his release run down your thigh. “We just can’t.”

“Relax, it’s just aftercare. You always liked when I cuddled you after sex.”

“When we were together.”, you corrected, grabbing an extra plush pillow from behind you and placing it inbetween you both.

“Oh come on, Y/N.”, he groaned. “Not the pillow divider.”

You glared at him. “Yes, the pillow divider.”

“I just came inside of you.”, he breathed, running through his curls. “Is cuddling really the worst thing we could do?”

“Joe.”

“Come on, I just want to show you I’m not always a dick.”

“No. Now, let’s just go to sleep, please.”, you rolled your eyes, pulling the sheet over you and turning away from him before grabbing the lamp.

You heard him sigh from the other side of the bed. You instantly felt regret swelling up in your chest. There have been a lot of mistakes you made in life, but this was a huge one.

“You’re just sexually frustrated.”, he spoke up, turning over in bed.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”, he began, resting his hand on the pillow divider. You felt his warm breath hit your neck, knowing he was only inches from you.

All that was separating you was a plush pillow.

“I’m not sexually frustrated.”

“Really?”, he teased, his hand moving from the pillow and finding your waist causing you to swallow hard.

You hated him. You hated him so much.

“Really.”, you choked out.

“How long had it been before tonight?”

“None of your business.”, you rolled your eyes.

“Well, judging by how tight you were—it’s been a while. You’re busy, right? A night shift pediatric nurse. Working long hours and a lot of overtime. You’ve not been able to move on from me, have you?”

“Fuck you.”

“You already did, love.”, he smirked as he chuckled.

Man, was he testing your patience. You didn’t respond to his snide comment, thinking maybe if you ignored him, he’d give up and leave you alone.

“You know what always made you relax?”

“What?”, you groaned.

He smirked as he tossed the pillow to the side, breaking the barrier between you both. Your eyes went wide as you flipped over to face him.

“Joe, what the fuck?”

“I’m jogging your memory.”, he smirked as he pulled the sheet up, dipping his head underneath. “Can you lay flat?”

“What do you think you’re doing?”, you asked as you subconsciously carried out his request.

“What does it look like I’m gonna do?”

“No, no—no way you’re doing what I think you’re gonna do.”

“Just relax.”

You felt his fingers grip your thighs, spreading them apart. He began placing innocent kisses on your thigh and you knew what he was planning.

“You’re not going to eat me out, are you?”

You felt his tongue take a swipe up your thigh, licking the release that had ran down your thighs while shifting in bed. “Looks like I am, unless you don’t want me to.”

Goosebumps appeared all over your skin at the sensation of his tongue, imagining what it could do—what it was about to do. It was like he was waiting for you to protest or tell him to stop. But you weren’t going to, no matter what your head was telling you—no matter that it was telling you how wrong this was. Your breathing hitched as you felt him begin to place gentle kisses on your thighs.

“Want me to at least pull the sheet down?”, you sighed, hands traveling to find his curls.

“Up to you.”, he breathed through kisses that were inching their way up your thighs to your cunt.

You groaned at his decision to leave it up to you as he placed your ankles on his shoulders. He parted your thighs further, dipping his head between your legs. You braced yourself because you knew what was coming, what was going to follow.

“Can you breathe?”, you rolled your eyes, fluttering them shut.

“Of course I can breathe. Now, just relax, and let me remind you how I can relieve your stress.”

“You just came inside of me, though. Is that okay?”

“Yes, now relax.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”, he repeated as you felt his breath on your cunt before his tongue took a long swipe up your wet fold.

He was immediately met with the familiar taste of you mixed with him. It drove him crazy, he loved it—he loved knowing he had come inside of you. It was just one more way he marked you. You moaned lightly as you ran your hands through his curls.

“See? You’re already loving it.”, he breathed against you.

Whether or not you would ever admit it out loud, you had imagined Joe going down on you before. Even after you both started working together again. It was a thought you had some nights as you laid in bed, your own hand between your thighs as you took care of yourself. It was pathetic, but you needed something. You had imagined Joe having his head buried between your legs, dragging his tongue up and down your slick folds. Now, it was becoming a reality.

It was worse when he had shaved his beard at first, leaving his baby face showing. It reminded you of when he was only a resident. He knew you hated it when he shaved his beard completely off. Unless he had forgotten. You wondered if part of him had done it out of spite. But then not long after, he was letting his beard come back and that made your fantasies even worse, spiraling them out of control. You loved the feeling of his stubble between your legs. You wore his beard burn like a badge of honor.

Without warning, his tongue took another swipe between your wet slit. Your back arched instantly at the sensation, letting out a moan to let him know you were enjoying this. Instinctively, you parted your legs as far apart as they’d go, allowing him full access to you. You eyed him, resting your head on the pillows at the head of the bed. He wanted you to be as comfortable as possible while he fucked you with his tongue.

“Like my tongue, love?”

“Shut up, Joe.”

His tongue entered you without warning causing you to jolt, almost jumping out of your skin. It was unexpected, but you knew this was punishment for your sass. You gripped his curls, giving them a tug and causing him to groan against your cunt. But it felt good and that was the bad part.

“Fuck—we taste so good.”

You just knew he had a smug grin.

“We?”

His tongue swirled in and out of your cunt, teasing you. “Mhmmm.”

“Such a naughty little nurse”, he cooed as he moved his mouth back to your folds, flicking his tongue over your folds.

Your eyes rolled back in your head easily. Joseph took his hands, moving your legs up to his shoulders, allowing him more leverage. It was hot. So very hot. Your hands continued to grip his curls with each flick and swipe of his tongue, you not being able to hold back your feral moans.

“Fuck Joe—dammit.”

“What? Feeling good, love?”

“No.”, you stammered.

You were never a good liar.

“I’ll just have to try harder then.”

You rolled your eyes this time from frustration. In your head, you were so focused on cumming that your brain wasn’t registering the sensation on your thighs from his beard. The stubble burning, rubbing against your thighs. A hiss escaped your lips before moaning, a sign you were in fact, enjoying his tongue buried deep in your cunt.

Holding your breath, you waited for a smart remark. But it never came, he was too focused on making you orgasm all over his tongue, dying to taste your sweet release. He had been deprived of it for so long.

After he was finished tasting the mix of both your releases, he popped his head out from under the sheet to look at you, admire the work he had done. Your chest was heaving, eyes fluttered shut. You had moved your hands from his curls to the sheets, still clearly reeling from your orgasm. Joe wore a smirk on his face, looking up at you. Even in the minimal light, you could see the glisten of your juices on his chin as he licked his lips.

“See? Told you I could jog your memory.”

You didn’t respond at first, still trying to come down from your high.

“Felt good, didn’t it?”

“Yeah.”, you finally breathed.

Joe fell beside you in bed, taking a deep breath before releasing a sigh. “Gonna build your pillow wall again?”

You glared at him.

“Just asking. I mean, are you gonna let me cuddle you and give you some aftercare or not?”

“No. Just stay on your side of the bed and I’ll stay on mine. Can we do that?”, you asked as you grabbed the sheet and comforter and pulled them up and over you.

“Not even a goodnight kiss?”, he pouted playfully. “So you could at least taste how good we are?”

You rolled your eyes. “Couples give goodnight kisses. Not exes who decided to fuck. Now, go to sleep.”

You finally found the strength to turn over in bed, away from him.

“Fine. Suit yourself.”, he sighed as he turned the opposite way, snuggling down into his pillow.

You weren’t sure how it happened when you blinked your eyes open hours later. For the first time in a long time, you had managed to sleep through the night. Coming to your senses while yawning, you felt two strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you towards them. There was also the sensation of something poking you in the ass. Your eyes widened as you shot up in a panic while wrapping the sheet around you to cover your breasts, coming to the realization of what had happened last night.

“Oh shit.”

Joe was slowly waking up, unlike you. “Is everything okay?”, he rubbed his eyes, sitting up with you.

“We had sex. Last night.”

Joe’s lips curved into a smirk. “Multiple times.”

You glared at him.

“I’m just stating facts, love. It was good—for the both of us.”

You rolled your eyes. “And you were cuddling me this morning. Didn’t I say specifically not to cuddle me?”

Joe shrugged easily, his sexy voice still apparent. “I can’t help what I did after you woke me up this morning around three.”

“What did we do around three?”

“Oh.”, he smirked. “We had sex again. You initiated it, rubbing your ass against my cock and begging me saying, ‘Please fuck me, Joe’, remember?”

“No, I definitely don’t.”, you laughed nervously.

There was a moment of silence between you both but this allowed your brain to begin remembering exactly what he was referring to, realizing you had indeed initiated sex with him again.

“Is it coming back to you, love?”

“Joe, please just stop. We can’t do this.”, you jumped out of bed, giving him a chance to admire your naked body, already making him hard again.

He groaned as he palmed the bulge under the sheets, trying to make his hard-on go away but he was filling miserably.

“Why not? It was great sex—amazing sex. We both liked it, both enjoyed it. It was relaxing for the both of us.”

“Because we work together.”, you sighed.

“So? Never stopped us before.”

You turned to look at him, a soft glare in your eyes. It was hard to be mad at him. But you had managed to be mad at him before—for a long time.

“Isn’t tonight the night you find out if you won or not?”

Joe nodded before sighing. “Yeah.”

“Are you nervous?”

Joe watched you as you got up, letting the sheet fall. You could feel his eyes on you, admiring your naked body. What would it hurt now? He had seen everything you had through the night. Plus, you all had been engaged before. It wasn’t like a huge secret.

“Kinda.”, he breathed, running a hand through his curls. “This is a big deal.”

“So you’ve said.”

“Can we not do this right now?”

“Do what?”

“Argue. I need you to be on my side—be on my team, please. Can you do that?”, he asked as he grabbed your arm easily in an attempt to get your attention.

You stared at him, looking into his pleading brown eyes. “It would have been easier had I been your fiancé still.”

He sighed, rubbing his face. His beard needed a little trimming but you didn’t prefer him to be clean shaven. “I know.”

You could have said no when he asked you to accompany him. But something inside of you didn’t want to refuse. Somewhere, you had feelings rooted. Even if you didn’t want to admit it.

“How about we go sightseeing or something? Grab some breakfast?”, you suggested, clearing your throat as you slid a t-shirt on and some jeans.

The weather in Baltimore was much different than the weather in Portland. It was near fall and you were thankful you had packed a thick winter coat. Joe had packed a peacoat, never straying far from his Londoner roots. His parents continued to live in London and mysteriously, you didn’t learn a lot about them even while you all were in a relationship—even being engaged. He left his mom and dad out of things. You had went to London with him on a few occasions.

“Okay.”, he breathed as he got out of bed and you bit your lip, trying to ignore his physique.

He wasn’t ashamed of his body, not even bothering wrapping the comforter around him. He was standing in the room with his bare ass showing. You felt your breath catch in your throat, trying to direct your attention elsewhere as he slid his jeans and boxers back on.

“Hey,”, he began easily. “Wanna run by the pharmacy while we’re out?”

“And get what? A little late for condoms.”, you smirked as you fixed your hair in the mirror.

You’d need a good hot shower before the gala. Part of you was nervous, never doing these kinds of things with Joe before. You didn’t know if you would fit in with the affluent hospital crowd. These were doctors who had done a lot of research and written in medical journals. Where did you belong in this mess?

“Plan B.”, he breathed easily as he threw his baseball cap on.

“Oh.”, you widened your eyes, slightly surprised he’d bring that up.

He had a point though, you weren’t on birth control and you all didn’t use any condoms. Things just happened so fast. Part of it still hurt, however, because there had been many discussions while you all were still together about your future children.

He watched you for a response.

“Yeah, that’s great.”

He nodded before grabbing his wallet and stuffing it in the pocket of his jacket. “I’ll pay for it.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“No, I insist, love.”

You both paused, looking into each other’s eyes.

“Joe, you don’t have to do this shit for me.”

“I know. I just—it just takes two to tango, you know.”

You nodded. “Right.”

He grabbed the doorknob of the hotel room door, opening it and revealing the hallway. “We could always buy condoms if you plan on more sex. Maybe celebratory sex tonight?”, he smirked.

You rolled your eyes, trying to shift from the hurt back to playfulness. “We’ll see. You actually have to win first.”

You all wasted no time in exploring the city, quick to find a small diner for breakfast. It was quiet, off the beaten path. Joe chose to read the newspaper while drinking coffee. They had tea, but unless it was close to what they had back home, he wasn’t a big fan. You ordered an omelet with a side of hash browns and fruit, taking a sip of your orange juice.

“Who knew Baltimore had such a high crime rate?”, Joe asked, sipping his coffee.

“Not surprising.”, you stirred in your hash browns, smothering them in ketchup before taking a bite.

“I’d say their ERs are swarmed every night—gunshot wounds, mugging, car accidents.”

“Yeah, for sure.”

Joe opted for eggs, bacon, and a waffle. There was a lot of silence between you both as you both quietly ate your breakfast. You were chalking a lot of Joe’s silence up to being nervous about his speech and potentially winning the Lasker award. You did a lot of people-watching while you both were in the diner, anything to distract your attention from him. You didn’t want him to know he had as much power as he had over you.

You all finished breakfast, going around the city. Joe liked to sight see in new places. Even while you both were together, you all took a lot of trips. Joe also took a lot of pictures, pulling his iPhone out and snapping pictures while you all toured the city. The last stop was the pharmacy, Joe bedside you. You went to the family planning aisle, immediately finding the Plan B pill.

“Why do they lock this shit up?”, you groaned as you grabbed it from the shelf, noticing its near fifty-dollar price tag.

“I assume women steal it. If you’re stealing Plan B, you probably shouldn’t be having sex.”, Joe shrugged easily as you immediately began your walk to the cash register, him trailing close behind.

You rolled your eyes. “Some people make mistakes, you know.”

“Is this all for you?”, the woman at the register asked.

You could read on the woman’s face that she knew you all had sex. It felt like the entire world knew at this point.

“Yeah, how much is it?”, you asked.

“52.95 with tax and all.”

You went to dig through your purse bit before you even had a chance to finish looking, Joe had already pulled out his debit card and paid for it. You glared at him, watching him shoot a cheeky smile at you before he grabbed the bag and receipt, shoving the receipt in the bag. Exiting the pharmacy, Joe held onto your bag. It wasn’t surprising as seeing this was the man who didn’t care to go buy your pads or tampons when you were having your period.

It was always comfortable with him, never feeling shamed for being a woman and having womanly functions.

“Want me to carry that?”, you asked as you all walked down the street.

Joe had lit up a cigarette, a habit he wished he could break—and he had tried. “No, I’ve got it.”

“You know smoking is bad for you.”, you teased. “Coming from a nurse.”

He smirked before releasing a light chuckle, taking a draw from his cigarette. “We all have to cope in some way, don’t we?”

You shrugged. “I guess so.”

Arriving back at the hotel, you fell on the bed that you all had made a mess of. It was an instant reminder of the events that had transpired between you both. You were already exhausted and you still had to attend the gala with Joseph.

“I’m gonna shower first if that’s alright. Unless you want to join me.”, Joe cocked his eyebrows seductively.

Part of you wanted to take him up on his offer, eager to feel him again. But you knew that would just prove his point further.

“I’m sure you don’t want to smell like my girly body wash and perfume.”, you smirked back at him.

He smirked, undoing his jeans in front of you. He stepped out of them easily, folding them before laying them on the back of the chair near the desk. You felt your heart skip a beat, swallowing hard. Joe noticed but you didn’t want to believe he had.

“It would be worth it to stick my cock in your cunt.”

His words sent chills cascading down your body, your breathing instantly hitching.

“Can’t use condoms in the shower.”

“Ah, we’ve got your Plan B pill. What’s one more time before you take it? You still have roughly fifty hours.”

You sat up, mouth dropping open before you began laughing. “Aren’t you a doctor? The sooner you take it, the better.”

“True.”, he agreed. “We could take our chances.”

“Do you know how dumb you sound right now? Like a lovesick teenage boy who is horny.”

He laughed lightly while he stripped his shirts, leaving him only in his boxers. “I mean after the amazing sex we had last night, it’s hard not to be. If you want to say no, you can. It’s your choice. There’s some bottled water in the fridge to take your pill with. I’m really just kidding.”

You bit your lip, your common sense leaving you. “I’ll shower with you.”

“Sorry, love. What was that?”

“I said—I’ll shower with you.”

“Yeah?”, he smirked. “Need another dose? It’s just what the doctor ordered, isn’t it?”

“Oh my God. You’re unbearable.”, you laughed, elbowing him. “Shut up before I change my mind.”

You all had subconsciously got closer, looking into one another’s eyes. Locking eye contact just seconds before your lips crashed into one another, him backing you up against the wall. You moaned into his mouth easily as he reached for your jeans, once again undoing them. It was almost a repeat from the night before. It hadn’t taken him long to memorize how to get your clothes off in a hurry. Within a minute, you were down to your bra and panties.

“Don’t you feel like a dirty girl?”, he hummed, sticking his fingers down your panties.

“Yeah, I do.”, you admitted with a sigh.

“We’re gonna get all cleaned up. Promise.”, he breathed against your skin, kissing your neck.

“Mhm, can’t wait.”, you took in a sharp inhale as he pulled your jeans and panties down to the floor.

He tugged at the hem of your shirt, pulling it up and over your head, leaving you only wearing a bra. He wasted no time in wrapping his arms around your back, carefully undoing your bra and allowing it to fall to the floor. It was clear this wasn’t his first time undoing a bra from the front. He was skilled in undressing and for a brief moment you wondered how many other women he had done this to, but the thought was quickly interrupted by him kissing you, sending you into oblivion.

“Ready—for—the shower?”, he breathed between kisses.

All you could do was nod in response.

He picked you up again causing you to squeal in his mouth, shushing it with a kiss. His fingers squeezed your ass causing you to moan into the kiss. He had missed feeling your body, it was a work of art in his eyes. He had already managed to turn the water on, warming it up for you both. He had left the bathroom door open, the steam rolling out. He easily shut the door with his foot, setting you down on the floor and allowing you to gain your balance before pulling away.

As he opened the shower door, you were biting your lip and admiring his physique. How had your mind been changed from just this morning—seeming to regret the decision you had made to sleep with him. He motioned for you to enter the shower first, reaching his hand out for you. You grabbed it, allowing him to pull you towards him. He placed several kisses on your neck causing shivers to cascade down your spine, allowing you to sigh into him.

“You get in first.”, he breathed.

“Okay.”

He helped you inside the shower, following close behind. So close you could feel his cock pressing against your ass. Your eyes fluttered shut, biting your lip while imagining what it would feel like for him to be inside of you again. Was it smart to not use condoms? No, but the feeling of him without one was something you couldn’t put into words. Maybe it was just you being cock drunk, but you couldn’t help it. You’d never tell him but he was an amazing lover, always trying to please you.

The hot water rushing over your skin brought you of your thoughts as Joe grabbed your waist from behind, bringing you flush against him. He began kissing your neck, hands roaming over your breasts before giving them a gentle squeeze.

“Fuck—you’re so sexy.”, he breathed, water dripping off his curls and onto your shoulders while running down your body.

“You cuss a lot around me.”, you smirked easily, leaning back against him.

“Can’t help it—need inside of you.”

“You’ll get to be soon.”, you sighed, allowing him to kiss all over your neck.

“I know and I can’t wait.”, he hummed, hands finding your breasts before giving your nipples a pinch causing you to moan loudly.

You hummed in agreement, letting his hands roam your body. They were thick and broad, feeling you up. He wasn’t gross like most guys were when they were touching your body. He made it all about you, giving you small compliments about how sexy and beautiful your were, how much he wanted you, and things that just made you feel good.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The room was thick with steam that poured from the shower. Your pulse quipped and your mouth was dry. You could feel his cock digging into you.

“Remember when we’d have shower sex when I came off a nineteen hour shift?”

Your breathing hitched. “Fuck—yeah, I do.”

“It was such good sex—then we passed out in bed.”, he chuckled.

“Mhm.”, you hummed, chills covering your body.

You remembered it well. Those days felt like so long ago even if they weren’t. Ever since Joe had left for Seattle, time seemed to pass slowly. It was hard to live without him at first—even calling out of work for a few days to mentally and emotionally try to get a grip on life. The sun didn’t rise and set in him, you knew that. But he had been a huge part of your life. It was hard to know he was gone.

After he left, you learned to live without him—even feeling like you hated him some days. You hated him for making you love him. You hated him for leaving. You hated him for making you wake up alone. You hated him for choosing his career over you. You hated him for making you have to learn to live without him. But yet, here you were—having shower sex with him.

Without warning, he spun you around in one quick motion making you face him in the shower, water dripping off your faces. Joe moved his hand to the back of your neck, tilting your head up to give you a warm kiss. You thought about the power those hands held. He was a doctor, skilled with his hands. You lost your words when it came to him, he still had that power over you. He knew what you wanted and he wasn’t going to make you wait long.

He picked up your thighs, bringing them to circle around his waist as he pushed you against the wall of the shower for support. Your all’s shower was long forgotten, for the time being, something better in place of it. Joe wasted no time in slipping inside of you, his thick cock filling you and splitting you open in ways you couldn’t describe. A small moan escaped your lips, Joe releasing a grunt from the back of his throat. He was working soft strokes into you. If he was holding you, you were sure your legs would have given out by now.

“Can we both admit we missed this?”, he grunted before you both shared a soft kiss.

You scoffed playfully as he rutted himself further into you. “As if.”

“I know you missed me when I left for Portland.”

“What—does it matter?”, you moaned back.

“Because—I missed you too. If I’m being honest. There—wasn’t a day I didn’t think about you.”, he grunted.

“Don’t—lie. Please don’t lie, Joe.”, you begged, swallowing hard.

“I’m not lying. I debated calling you every day. I—typed texts I never had the courage to send.”

“Can we please—not talk about this right now while—you’re inside of me?”, you hiccuped.

“Fine—I won’t,”, he began as he continued to steadily fuck you. “Maybe after I win?”

There it was—his cockiness was back and in full force. It was hard to ignore, making you want to roll your eyes. But there wasn’t much else you could focus on other than him fucking himself into you. You felt your heart melt a little more.

You let out a whine and nodded your head. “If you win.”

Joe smirked as he sank his fingertips into your thighs, knowing he was going to leave marks. But you loved it—secretly, you loved anything he did. You felt your lower half tense, Joe continuing to help you towards your orgasm. You could feel every inch, vein, and tweak of his cock—all helping to add to your sensations and sensitivity. Joe put his lops back to yours, your moans going straight down his throat. He wanted you so badly, he wanted to swallow every little sound or hiccup you made.

“Joe….”, you moaned into his mouth.

“Hm?”

“Gonna—cum—now.”, you moaned, the sound muffled as it filled his throat.

He didn’t beg or coerce you to cum, a slight surprise to you. But it wasn’t stopping the fact you were going to cum. Without further warning, you came. You juices spilled all over his cock, causing him to moan in response. Joe didn’t immediately follow, in fact his cock felt even harder than before.

“Fuck your cunt is gripping me so tight.”, he grunted, breaking the kiss.

Your body was still shaking, reeling from your orgasm and Joe seized the opportunity to start fucking you faster. His hands pulled you off his cock only to slam you back down on it, moving your body like it was nothing. Your body couldn’t stop shaking, your stomach twisting and aching but you knew you had more to give him. Your hands gripped his neck tighter, trying to hold onto his fast-moving body. He was fucking you so fast and so hard that you didn’t even have time to catch your breath. No need to when he would just take it again anyway.

You felt his cock twitch and you both knew he would cum soon and you couldn’t wait for him to fill you full. Even if you knew the risks associated with it. All that filled your ears were moans worthy of the big screen and whines coming from you. Joe’s moans and grunts added to the music you both were creating. The steam from the bathroom wasn’t helping you think straight. You were beginning to feel dizzy and disoriented. All you knew at the moment was that you needed Joe’s cum immediately.

“Please—Joe….”, your pleading was cut short with abrupt thrust. “Please give me your cum, please cum deep inside of me.”

“You want it? It’s all yours—all fuckin’ yours.”, Joe coos.

Within a second, you felt his warm cum deep inside of your cunt. His hips stuttered as he let out a long groan, almost matching the pace he was using to spill inside of you. You couldn’t help it, you followed him and came again—a loud whimper coming out. It was euphoric—more than either of you could have ever hoped or dreamed for.

“Really want to stop this? Go back to work like none of this happened?”, he breathed, chest heaving up and down.

“We don’t have time to talk about this right now, we have to get ready.”, you breathed, trying to compose yourself.

“Fine. But I’m gonna convince you before this trip is over.”, he smirked as he slipped out of you, some of his cum spilling out and mixing with the water.

“We’ll see.”, you smirked back as you both began to quickly shower.

________________________________________________________________________________

As you stood in your bra and panties, you looked in the mirror while making sure every part of your hair was perfect. You were wearing it up, a few loose curls out but it made it look more elegant—something you didn’t do often. The dress you had brought, ultimately didn’t make you happy for this event. Joe offered to get you a new dress, even remembering your size as he called a local formal shop. Even through many protests, Joe didn’t listen to you. You didn’t want him doing this for you, it was something you weren’t used to.

A knock came to the hotel room door.

“I’ll get it.”, Joe said easily.

You tried not to pay any attention to the conversation he had with whoever was delivering the dress. You put some finishing touches on your makeup, taking your mascara brush over your eyelashes one more time before spraying some make up setting spray. You heard the door close gently before hearing Joe’s footsteps grow closer.

“Here’s your dress—even if I do like seeing you in your bra and panties.”, he laughed lightly.

You didn’t immediately turn around to view him. “Thanks.”

“What’s wrong?”, he sighed. “You should be happy.”

You scoffed lightly before turning around. “You bought me a dress. Quit doing nice things for me, please. You’re making it harder to hate you.”

“Maybe that’s my intention—though I don’t think you hate me at all.”

You rolled your eyes. “Just show me the dress.”

He smirked as he unzipped the garment bag, revealing a black dress with crystals decorating the slender straps with mesh insets at the waist and a sultry side slit.

“Joe, it’s—”

“Don’t say it’s too much. Just please wear it—I insist.”

You glared at him. “I was going to say beautiful.”

“Oh.”, he chuckled softly. “Can we get you in it?”

"Yeah, we only have two hours to finish getting ready and to get to the venue.”, you looked back at him.

“Alright, turn around and I’ll get you into clothes instead of getting you out of clothes.”

You rolled your eyes before following his request. He took the dress out of the garment bag, instantly admiring how beautiful it was—just like you. He knew you were going to look amazing in it.

“Okay just step into this for me.”

You did before he slid it up your body, admiring how it fit perfectly around your curves as he fixed the straps on your shoulders, the crystals flickering in the light. He zipped the dress up, it finally taking full form on your body. Looking in the mirror, you could tell on his face that he loved the way it looked on you. You noticed him look you up and down in the mirror.

“God it fits you like a glove.”, Joe breathed.

“It does.”, you agreed. “Now, I need to put on my heels. Shit, and my earrings.”

You left him standing in front of the mirror as you walked over to grab the dangle earrings, putting them in your ears. Turning away from the mirror, you noticed him putting the finishing touches on his suit. He looked good—so good. You slid your heels on before grabbing your clutch, quickly slipping your morning-after pill inside. You’d take it after the awards. You knew it could cause severe nausea, cramping, and maybe even bleeding.

“Ready to go?”, you asked easily.

You could tell Joe was becoming nervous.

“Yeah.”, he began. “You look beautiful.”

He was deflecting, something he had learned to do very well while growing up. There were a lot of secrets you didn’t know about your ex-fiancé.

“Thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself.”, you joked softly.

He smiled, forgetting his problems for tonight. “Let’s go.”

“Lead the way.”

To your surprise, a limo showed up to chauffeur you and Joe to the gala. You all sat in silence on the ride there, being offered champagne to kill the nerves. You sipped yours slowly as did Joe, the silence lying between you both.

“Nervous?”, you asked easily.

“No.”, Joe lied, taking a sip of his champagne as he cleared his throat.

“You’re a bad liar.”

“I’m not lying.”, he defended. “I was maybe nervous when I took my USMLE to be a doctor….I’m not nervous now.”

He didn’t make eye contact with you as the ride continued, you nodding lightly even though you didn’t believe him even in the slightest. You all continued to sip your champagne until it was gone and you all arrived at the gala. The driver got out, opening the door for you both as you thanked him.

“Can we at least act like we like each other?”, he whispered.

“Are you going to admit I’m just one of your nurses?”

He rolled his eyes again. “You’re more than just one of my nurses—you’re my best nurse.”

“Whatever.”

“It’s true—you know what I like—how I like it. I’ve been hard on you lately. It’s not fair to you.”

“Joe please—can we not do this before your speech and stuff?”

“What are we telling people? I can call you my date and then if they ask your profession, tell them we met working together—which isn’t a lie.”

“Sure—tell them the truth.”, you agreed.

“Fine, we will. It’s not like I’m ashamed of you.”, Joe responded.

You both continued inside, classical music instantly filling your ears. The lights were down low, the noise of people chatting and glassware clinking joining the music. You swallowed hard and the nerves began to sit in and you weren’t even the one up for an award and delivering a speech. Joe nudged you easily in hopes you would link your arm with his and at least make it look like you enjoyed one another’s company. Glancing up at him, he stared ahead and didn’t bother glancing down at you.

“Dr. Joseph Quinn.”, a voice spoke, causing you both to turn around.

A hand was held out, Joe clearing his throat and taking it.

“Dr. Thomas Snider.”

“And who’s this beautiful woman on your arm?”, his eyes glanced over to you.

You and Joe eyed one another before Joe responded.

“Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N. Can I call you that?”, he outstretched his hand.

“Yes, nice to meet you, Tom.”, you took his hand.

“Why don’t we all have a drink? It’s a big occasion—I heard you’re up for a Lasker award.”

Joe looked at you as he fixed his suit as if he was asking your permission. You nodded lightly as you both followed Tom over to the bar area. You sat beside Joe, laying your clutch on the table as you were careful to sit down in the chair in your dress. A waiter was quick to come over to the table and ask for your drink order. Tom asked what you all would have—Joe wanted a martini while you opted for a Cosmo. You listened to Joe and Tom’s conversation lightly while waiting for your drink. Maybe in an hour or two you could sneak off to the bathroom and slip your morning-after pill. You needed to take that. It had been almost over twenty-four hours at this point, nearing day two.

The sooner the better—that’s what their slogan was on the website and all healthcare professionals knew that to be true. It was either take the pill or leave it up to fate. But you didn’t exactly want to get pregnant with your ex-fiancé’s baby. That wasn’t on your bingo card and this was your best bet. It had a ninety-five percent effectiveness rate after twenty-four hours—eighty-five percent after forty-eight hours. But that was better than not taking it at all and hoping for the best. This wasn’t something you could hope for the best for—that often ended tragically as evidenced by your life.

“So how did you all meet?”

The question from Tom brought you back to reality.

“Um, we actually work together.”, Joe smirked over at you.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”, you agreed, looking back at Joe.

“What do you practice?”, he asked.

“I’m sorry?”

“Like are you pediatrics, ortho, cardio?”

“I’m a nurse.”, you said bluntly.

“Ah, the doctor and nurse trope. Nice Joe.”, he elbowed Joe playfully, causing Joe to smirk lightly as he took a sip of his drink.

You glared at them both lightly, fire beginning to burn in your eyes.

“She’s a peds nurse. My best one.”, Joe smirked at you, laughter resolving as he noticed you didn’t think his joke was as funny as he did.

You felt your heart soaring in your chest, causing you to almost immediately perk up. But you quickly reminded yourself that he was just putting on a front. It was what he was best at doing. He was a smooth operator and only told people what they wanted to hear.

“I’m happy for you, Joe. Hold on to her or someone might snatch her away.”

Their cordial laughter ripped through your thoughts and you cleared your throat lightly. Your drink was almost gone but it wasn’t helping you.

“I’m gonna grab another drink.”, you responded lightly.

“Okay.”, Joe spoke up easily.

You gave him a half smile as you got up, abandoning the conversation. Wasting no time, you marched up the bar counter and ordered another Cosmo. You put your wallet on the bar, beginning to think about the Plan B pill that was inside of it. You couldn’t help but think about that as each second clicked off the clock, your timer was running out. You shook your head as the bartender slid your Cosmo to you, distracting you from your thoughts.

“Hello,”, you heard someone tap the microphone in an attempt to gain the audience’s attention.

You turned around in your bar seat.

“Thank you all for attending our annual award ceremony. Doctors and other medical professionals alike across the United States are nominated for the Lasker Award for their continued groundbreaking research in this field. We will be beginning in the auditorium shortly if you all want to go ahead and take your seats. Again, thank you all for coming.”

Chatter began to pick back up amongst the crowd. You swiped your drink from the bar, thanking the bartender before making your way back over to the table only to find Joe sitting there alone. He was checking his cell phone before he noticed you had made your way back over.

“Hey.”, he spoke softly.

“Hey. Your friend leave?”

He scoffed lightly before it turned into laughter. “Not exactly my friend. Just an old acquaintance.”

“He’s blunt.”

Joe nodded, already knowing he wouldn’t be your cup of tea. You weren’t used to that even if you were a nurse. The medical field brought along a lot of emotions. Joe remembered vividly being a resident and not being taken seriously. He always had to ask permission from his fellow and you never dared question an attending. Even though he had pushed the bill before when it came to the outcome for his patient. At first, he wasn’t respected for it—he was chastised for it. He had come to America for a fresh start. Meeting you was never in the cards and neither was leaving you. But he couldn’t think about that right now.

“Yeah.”, Joe began, sipping his drink. “Always has been. Don’t let it get under your skin.”

“That’s a little impossible.”

Joe laughed lightly. “I know.”

“Are you nervous?”, you attempted to change the subject.

“Kind of.”

“You’re gonna do fine. You always do. You have charm and charisma working out of your ears. It’s what a lot of women love about you.”

Joe’s brown eyes panned up to meet yours. “Funny. I can’t find any women who love that endearing quality.”

He was trying to make jokes, a soft smirk across his lips.

Rolling your eyes, you responded. “You just haven’t met the right one.”

“I did. And I fucked it up.”

You looked at him, confused. It was like time was in slow motion and you couldn’t wrap your head around what he had said. Was your brain tricking you?

“Dr. Quinn.”, a woman who was dressed very elegantly interrupted your all’s conversation. “They’re ready for you.”

He gave you a soft smile as he raised up from his chair, brushing his slacks. You eyed him, opening your mouth to speak but no words would come out. You wished you could have forced words of encouragement but what would you say back to something like that? He looked back at you as he walked away, following the woman who came to get him. You hurried and downed your Cosmo, leaving the empty glass and almost running towards the auditorium—except you had heels on and you couldn’t “run”.

#eddie x reader #joseph quinn imagine #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x y/n #eddie imagines #eddie munson imagine #joseph quinn x reader #eddie munson hc #eddie munson

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thesagedahlia · 5 months

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HOLLYWEIRD READINGS PRESENTS: SEAN ‘DIDDY’ COMBS CHART ANALYSIS * PART 1*

*TW: mentions of ab*se, violence, r*pe, and s*xual assault*

INTRODUCTION

Sean Combs has been well known as the hip hop mogul of Bad Boy Records since the 90’s, as well as his affiliations with the likes of Notorious B.I.G. and Lil Kim to name a couple of the many artists to come out of that era of hip hop, but if you were alive and aware of the 90’s you wouldn’t be shocked to know that the name ‘Diddy’ was oftentimes entangled into controversial situations and conspiracies. It would even be safe to say that there’s a conspiracy that Diddy, as a gatekeeper of the hip hop community, was in fact a very controlling, domineering & aggressive kind of person. In true Scorpio fashion, a lot of his dealings have been kept under the radar and were never pressed upon, even suppressed from the media as much as possible. UNTIL RECENTLY, not only has Diddy been paying out his former signees from the label (after not paying them properly in the first place), but Cassie Ventura also brought up a civil lawsuit against Diddy which was settled within 24 hours. Cassie was another signee to Diddy’s label, as well as his long-time ‘girlfriend’ of 10 years. They separated around 2019 which was coincidently when her contract under him finally dissolved. Since then, she’s been happily married with two children, but if you are familiar with the reading I did on Cassie some time ago, Diddy was coming up a lot as trying to get in contact with her or keeping tabs on her through different means. Though I never directly focused on any abuse of any kind, there felt to be a very dark presence around their connection, and a lot of it was operated under Diddy’s control. Which is why Diddy still to this day has such a profound effect on Cassie, which has helped her develop an addiction problem among other psychological trauma. Before I even pick apart their synastry, I’m going to pick apart Diddy’s natal chart to the best of my abilities, for the ones in the back-left that don’t believe he is capable if the things outlined in the lawsuit. What tipped me off was Diddy’s acceptance speech for his BET Lifetime Achievement Award received around June of 2023, with the way he mentioned Cassie and the words he chose. Considering what I picked up in my reading before, I wouldn’t be surprised if Cassie felt highly triggered and threatened by his speech once she caught wind of what was said. So honestly the lawsuit came as a shock, not because I wasn’t privy to such or I didn’t see it coming, but only because I didn’t expect her to stand up to him so soon after separating (it’s been roughly 3-4 years). To mention briefly, Cassie is experiencing a Lunar Nodal return (the North/South node lining back up in the position they were in at the time of her birth) which is ironically the Aries North/Libra South axis, clearly spelling out how it was in this lifetime that she was to break the mode of ‘people-pleasing’ and dependency and being inclined to stick up for oneself, especially in romantic relationships (South Node in Libra crossing her Venus placement). Cassie is an extremely strong person for asserting her boundaries in this way and now that she has exposed him and finally can work toward her healing, she was also able to open the floodgate of something far beyond her, which I’m assuming that’s also what she wanted. The past month in me conducting this report, more lawsuits of the sexual nature are starting to surface, which only confirms that this is the beginning of an unraveling within Diddy’s proverbial closet, in which his skeletons pile up.

There’s no question of Sean’s impact & influence within the industry and that impact is reflected in his chart, however this specific report will be focusing in on relevant patterns and configurations within the chart that reflect certain conspiracies and allegations:

* DISCLAIMER: FOR EDUCATIONAL/ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY; THIS IS AN ASTROLOGICAL CASE STUDY THROUGH NATAL/SYNASTRY CHARTS, ANY ASTORLOGICAL CONFIGURATIONS THAT I MEANTION IN THIS READING THAT ARE RELATIVE TO THE READER ARE NOT PRONE TO THE ANALYSIS THAT I CONCLUDE WITHIN THIS READING, THEY ARE MANIFESTATIONS OF THE ENERGY PRESENT WITHIN A SPECIFIC CHART COMPARED TO THE PUBLIC INFORMATION REGARDING THE INDIVIDUAL*

*This will be citing the subject’s most relevant traits regarding recent news through their energy signatures*

MARS IN CAPRICORN

As a lot of people may be aware of, Sean is a person who demands respect for his reputation in the industry. Being a Capricorn Mars native, I can see this being one of the main culprits that contribute to his control issues. Mars in Capricorn natives are driven by their ambition and determination to achieve a certain status. These natives, from a shadow perspective, can be very materialistic people and can produce someone who uses their money, power and respect (see what I did there? See the irony?) to assert authority onto those who he would consider ‘weaker’ or less established. This can even create someone who ‘bullies’ people because of the status they have. Capricorn is a calculated sign as well as entrepreneurial, so he has an affinity to throw his money around to assert himself and get what he wants. Mars is also making a square to his Mercury in Scorpio, which can detail more of a defined obsession for power and control (more on this below). Mars also squaring Jupiter can expand his quest for greed and can amount to an abundance of energy that needs a proper outlet or can succumb to his impulses and aggression. His Jupiter in Libra is already making a tightly wound conjunction to Venus that can reflect how his abundance can be defined by the business he makes and those around him, which will need a further explanation considering the surrounding and angling planets involved, but this can all tie into his tactics to control the business that he does and for him to be the one to mostly benefit from it. Lastly, and more importantly, the square Mars is making to Venus can be particularly subject his personal and intimate relationship to aggression, violence and other disruptive impulses (more on this below).

MARS IN CAPRICORN SQUARE SATURN IN TAURUS

On a surface level, the energy of this aspect can make for someone who is a hard and consistent worker and can work on things to exhaustion. From a psychological standpoint this specific square can be more violent, domineering energy within this native. Sean’s assertiveness can be in conflict with authority figures in his (early) life, which can in turn create an inflated & ego-driven sense of authority within himself when achieving the power that he has been accustomed to for so long. This can also point to his tendencies to use violence and force to solve his problems or to keep people ‘in line’. There is a lot of knowing behind the scenes of exactly what Sean is capable of in the industry, so there is a running joke that he can make people do what he wants or else they will ‘disappear’, which other parts of his chart can point to that theory as well (refer to ‘significant patterns, cradle 1’). This is also a great point of Sean’s inclination to rebel at any given opportunity, and a lot of his motive has to do with power and control, which is a running theme in his chart. This square is connected in a T-square (1) with Mercury, which can be an indication of having a tight-knit network of people who have a lot of power and prestige. Sean has a lot of wealthy ‘friends’ that he does business with, and these are people who were regulars at his hosted gatherings, both public and private. This square is a very selfish energy, not willing to go out of his way for people unless there is something in it for him, especially with Saturn having power over Mars (Mars in Capricorn). This can make Sean a very callous, unforgiving person who has more interest in dominating others, and he doesn’t stop to put other people into consideration. He can also be prone to frustrations, so it’s likely he’s not the most easy-going person. Punishments are very likely with this square, as he is inclined to make people work beyond their means to be rewarded as he sees fit, or he may look to restrict those who aren’t as cooperative. I also wouldn’t be surprised if Sean was into a lot of binding (BDSM) and violent kind of kinks (like rape or torture), especially with Pluto making a trine to Mars. Moreover, Capricorn Mars natives can have an insatiable appetite for sex, and in simpler terms can make for someone with prominent anger issues.

MOON-SOUTH NODE CONJUNCTION IN VIRGO

This conjunction between the Moon and South Node is significant because it represents how comfortable he is in his karmic and negative emotional patterns, and how easy it is for him to project that onto other people. Besides ones’ habitual nature and raw emotion, the Moon placement can also be the direct link to one’s mother as well as other feminine/maternal figures in a person’s chart. In the case of the mother, I discovered upon research that Sean’s mother was a model/escort (allegedly being supported by the Virgo Moon, Virgo ruling service, while modeling is ruled by Virgo’s opposite sign, Pisces (North Node)) who exuded the party-girl aesthetic, which can directly point to this Moon to South Node influence by his mother making that kind of lifestyle the ‘norm’ for him growing up, as the South Node represents our past lives or karmic lessons that we come into this lifetime needing to learn/move away from in one sense, it can also come up in a person’s chart as generational patterns that one has inherited into this life, or have been conditioned to upon entrance into this consciousness. There is also an allegation of his mother being predatory, and this is supported with the Virgo Moon representing ‘grooming’ from a feminine figure (the Moon), or the mother. More to this theory, there is a specific video where Sean professed to going to (strip) clubs with his mother and they are also seen kissing each other on the lips, which could be normal for some parent-child relationships (when the child is STILL a child), but another takes puts fuel to allegations that Sean was also preyed upon or groomed in his adolescence. Additionally, Virgo is the sign of service, work, daily routine, health/diet and anything of the like, it also represents ‘training’. As you know, Sean is known for the way he likes to be in control and how critical he is, so this is very on brand for a Virgo Moon native. When we talk about how he treated his signees on a public scale, Sean tended to be a critical, micromanaging force who controlled their image, the way they sounded, and how he wanted them to work for him. In a lot of cases this would entail how they ate as well, especially women since the Moon governs women. He also liked certain things within his order, which he could almost be obsessive about it. This doesn’t only apply to the ones who sign to his label or work with him generally, but also the employees that work for Sean on a routine basis, such as security, fitness trainers (another Virgo trait), cooks, maids etc. What I can deduce with this placement, Sean is particular about things being of a certain order when it comes to his employees and women in his life, and this can come from a specific karmic pattern that he was conditioned to in his past (The Moon can also represent one’s upbringing), namely reflecting a specific insecurity that he grew up dealing with. He may have lived in some kind of instability within himself, to which he found (albeit unhealthy) coping mechanisms for. He likely holds onto negative emotions until they build up within him to explode, which can likely be a person who is known to lose his patience. This is a wide orb so the severity of its effects may be weakened, but it is still prominent in the native so long as he clings to the comfort zone. Lastly, as a controversial opinion, the sign of Virgo is the ‘virgin’, or the maiden. Being that this sign represents something of purity and youth, as well as young women, this could pinpoint a tendency to attraction to ‘younger’ women. The lower frequencies of Virgo can take ‘training’ to a darker connotation, into the scope of ‘grooming’ as previously mentioned.

LILITH IN CANCER

The Lilith placement, in a man’s chart, represents the kind of woman he desires, yet fears. This is the same kind of woman that can truly overpower (or destroy) him. Lilith also represents defiance, sovereignty, darker emotions, the shadow side, and the wounded feminine energy or when we know we’re being manipulated, abused, or disrespected. In Sean’s case, not only does this denote a disconnect with his mother or females in his family in the traditional sense, but his Lilith placed in Cancer also says a lot about how he regards nurturing, soft and naturally empathic women. In his mind, this type of woman is ‘weak’, which can be traced back to the women he was generally able to overpower and manipulate (i.e. Cassie). This placement is another major indicator of the mother being somewhat of a temptress or taking on the ‘dark feminine’ archetype. The energy of Lilith in Cancer completely rejects traditional feminine energy and deems it to be something to dominate within oneself and others. With the afflictions to this placement, there is even more of an indication that he carries this psychology into his relationships and interaction with other women. With this placement I could go as far as saying that Sean has a complete disdain or hatred for women on a subconscious level and can manifest as a desire to have control on women that appear weaker to him. The sextile made to Pluto can tell me of just how explosive and violent he can be toward women in attempt to control/dominate, even deadly consequences are noted here. Lilith forming an opposition to Mars in extreme cases can even add forced violence toward women, even rape considering both Mars and Lilith govern over raw sexuality (Lilith being the feminine depiction of this). There is also a square Lilith is forming to Venus, which is also forming its own square to Mars (more on this Mars-Venus Square/T-square below). Venus’ contribution to Lilith in this instance can represent a more prominent force within his connections, not only referring to his intimate and personal relationships, but his business and industry relationships are subjected to this power-hungry dynamic where he is more strategic of how he gets over and manipulates others into his favor, Venus being good at making things look a particular way. This placement is an instinct within Sean to sense out those who are more capable of being manipulated, whether they are naïve and unassuming or not. Manipulations through things such as contracts, NDAs, PR, etc. as this is reinforced his Venus is placed in Libra (Libra represents written contracts and public image).

CHIRON IN ARIES

Chiron as Sean’s hidden psychological wounding (fears and insecurities) can revolve around his own, or the energy of, masculinity. As previously mentioned with his Lilith in Cancer placement, Sean has a borderline disrespect towards those he considers weaker, or ‘feminine’, so it would only make sense if that were to stem from toxic/wounded masculinity that he may have been conditioned to growing up. This can make for a person who overcompensates for his own assertiveness, pushing the barrier to being overtly violent, abusive, and domineering. This can also point to a specific ‘wound’ surrounding his masculinity that can have everything to do with sexuality with Mars making a sextile to this placement. This aspect can also give support to someone with a ruthless ambition, as Mars’ energy is doubled and can be malefic and disruptive in nature (such as Chiron). Sean could have been exposed to a violent or hyper-masculine world growing up and can be conditioned to the principles of ‘survival mindset’ and war mentality. The history with Sean’s father can put this theory into perspective, if we factor in that he was alleged to be a drug-dealer who died by gun violence (also a Mars/Aries signature). This can lead to his affinity toward solving problems with violence, especially with Pluto making an opposition these can have fatal outcomes. This is a particularly deadly energy that can bring about hostile situations.

NEPTUNE IN SCORPIO

Neptune is a generational planet that can represent a pattern in our chart that can be heavily veiled and hidden from others and even ourselves, and can be referred to as the collective consciousness. It can also refer to our psychic inclinations and our spiritual understandings. The era for Neptune transiting the sign of Scorpio was between the years 1956 to 1970, and this would cite Sean’s birth year to be 1969, making Neptune 27 degrees through the sign. This was the period infamously known for drugs, sex, rock n’ roll, and even mysticism, which were all things that gave way to sexual liberation, experimenting with substances, and the emergence of religious cults. People born in this specific time where Neptune was traveling through Scorpio can have more of a soul recognition to these influences which can serve as a subconscious relevance to the native. Sean Combs is no exception, as I would consider him to be hiding a sexual liberation that may seem unusual or shocking to others. This is also an indication of what other intuitives/astrologers have been picking up about him forever now; that he is well aware of manifestation and alchemy (Moon/Pluto in Virgo supports this as well). Sean is likely aware of and have personal interests in cults and ritualism, so this can give merit to idea that Sean hosts sex parties/rituals. This is an intense, mysterious and possessive nature that is hidden beneath Sean’s surface, and he has likely had an upbringing that has desensitized him to all kinds of destruction, danger, and chaos. This Neptune is ruled by Pluto (and Mars traditionally) and is also making a sextile between the two planets (can be found in Cradle 1 and 2). This can bring opportunities for manifestation and manipulating energy for one’s own desires. With Chiron trine to his Neptune as well, he can be someone to suppress whatever insecurities he may have through escapism tactics, such as substance abuse, giving way to the theory of Sean’s own self-destructive tendencies.

SUN IN SCORPIO CONJOINED TO MERCURY IN SCORPIO, BOTH OPPOSITE SATURN IN TAURUS:

Here is a configuration that plays a part closely with one expression conjoining to one’s mental compatibility. Scorpio can represent cruelty when operating on lower frequencies, which in this case can also take on a controlling & possessive connotation. This can also create a person that can prioritize enforcing their will onto people for the sake of gaining powerful status. Add that with a double opposition that Saturn is making to his Sun-Mercury conjunction, and you have a person who may have a restrictive and dictatorial quality to the way that they manage contractual business with others. There is an energy of a dictator or an authoritarian to other people, even a cult leader (Taurus Saturn), and being able to punish those who go against them (Taurus/Scorpio axis governs loyalty/betrayal). Another take with the Taurus Saturn, this can be someone who expected loyalty from his people in the same capacity as a cult, especially those who worked under him for extended periods of time. Saturn is ‘the punisher’, so that would suggest the claims of aggressive intimidation against certain people, even sexual abuse with Scorpio involved (citing ‘violent’ kinks). On the spectrum of sexual assault, this is a point where I believe that the nature of this configuration would impulse a native to sexually ‘punish’ their victims, which can also include a forceful connotation when the victim refuses to accommodate the native in question. Scorpio placements operating at low octaves can be vampiric to those they encounter, and that opposition to Saturn can indicate selfish tendencies that he may be more willing to use the people around him to benefit him and his status. There is also a presence here of legal situations involving the finances of other people & the contracts that they sign with Sean. A take-over spirit that sucks everyone dry is also what I would describe it as. This configuration also supports someone who is capable of limiting fame and notoriety from his own artists if they felt it necessary, placing that same spotlight onto himself. This configuration ALONE backs up a lot of claims regarding anyone feeling cheated by Diddy financially, having an entire catalog restricted from the artist, and the overall control of said artist through contractual obligations. As mentioned previously, some information in regard to Sean’s late father and the lifestyle he led, which can also be a manifestation of this configuration in his chart.

VENUS-JUPITER CONJUNCTION IN LIBRA

Getting to a contradiction within his chart, this aspect can speak to the kind and benevolent nature that he may have been trying to channel, as noted by his most recent name change to “Diddy ‘Love’ Combs”, especially from a spiritual/religious standpoint involving Jupiter. Sean has been cited lately as changing his image in the way of creating what attempts to be a ‘peace-loving’, family-oriented aura from the native. But this placement does a lot more harm than good even involving the two aforementioned benefic planets. This conjunction expresses his generous nature, especially to the women he was publicly and privately in a relationship with. Not to mention that Jupiter also governs publishing, so Sean being in control of the publishing and producing credits at the label can be seen with this aspect. This is a major indicator of being able to benefit from his own generosity, in the sense that he expects to be compensated for what he has given his artists or his relationships. Libra is about balance, symmetry, and justice and when it comes to this conjunction, Sean’s extravagance came with the expectation to continually do right by him to some degree, as there is a reciprocity that comes with the energy of Libra, this configuration in a person’s chart, on the flip side, can make the native inclined toward greed and can even make one prone to addictions. Mars squaring Venus within this conjunction creates a motivating factor to merge his money and power, to essentially have a certain type of control in the industry. He also uses this control to steam-roll his relationships into being loyal to a fault. He may also indulge the most into his addictions/greed on a social level, which can be a direct link to parties he would throw since the 90’s, the same parties that are now being implicated as possible ‘sex rituals’ or sex trafficking social events (depending on what you believe personally). The Venus to Mars square can very well include the raw, sexual nature of the parties Sean would host or be a part of himself. Sean’s extravagant nature is not something that is unheard of to people who are aware of him generally, but behind industry walls this can actually point to the inflation of his ego. Sean is also someone who likely has very good lawyers and legal professionals working for him with this aspect, and he is not one to shy away from legally binding agreements in his business, i.e. NDAs.

MERCURY IN SCORPIO SQUARE MARS IN CAPRICRON

When you have the planet of communication squaring the planet of will, this can make for a verbally forceful and disregarding native. Sean is not really a stranger to being an aggressive communicator with a sharp tongue, but this is another indication of him operating on a short fuse. This can be due to the overstimulation that’s interpreted with this aspect, and the increase in impulsivity. Sean is likely a very intimidating communicator, and he doesn’t have any impulse control. A lot of his motives are once again linked with the obsession for power and control over others through his powerful connections and status. Sean also has a violent nature that he may be more inclined to keep hidden, but with Mars squaring Venus this would make these themes show up more in his social or romantic relationships (as a Libra Venus is skilled in making public perception of the native appear polished and balanced, with Libra ruling PR). There can even be sexual kinks that are deemed deviant and would likely be shunned upon with this square happening between the signs of Scorpio and Capricorn (‘violent’ kinks are cited here). This can also make Sean a determined individual with an insatiable need to fulfill his desires, and those desires can only be met with unwavering hostility and force. This can pertain to professional, personal, and even sexual desires when it comes to Sean. There is an inclination toward arrogance and power trips toward those he employs, and verbal abuse is the main weapon he uses unto others. This also reinforces him being accustomed to innate control over others and his mode of operation relying heavily on his connections to the industry (Mars in Capricorn).

MARS IN CAPRICORN SQUARE VENUS IN LIBRA

Here we have a native that is likely to be a forceful person within his interpersonal or romantic relationships and can attract those who are easily shaped and molded (Venus in Libra) or the native can project this motive onto those he is involved with. This aspect is associated with anger issues, a lack of self-control, and intense love-hate dynamics within intimate relationships. As this can be a reflex in establishing control, it is likely Sean is as domineering as everyone may portray him to be, especially those who have seen the different side of the coin. It is also likely that Sean can have a PR team behind him that can paint a less egregious picture in regard to his personal life, though behind the scenes it’s worse than what anyone could have imagined. This can also attract abusive dynamics, especially with any other malefic influences touching this, which can be cited by Mars’ opposition to Lilith in Cancer also squaring Venus (see T-square 2). Sean is inclined to dominate those who he is intimately, personally or professionally involved with. I could even go as far as to say that he has a domination kink (if I haven’t mentioned this speculation already) or a punishment kink (involving Saturn ruling the Mars placement). This can also cite difficulties in court proceedings against Sean as his Libra Venus would suggest a functioning legal team and producing iron-clad NDAs and contractual bindings in his business dealings. Also making note that Cassie is a native to this same Venus to Mars square, which the significance of this is likely to show up in the pair’s synastry.

SIGNIFICANT PATTERNS

T-SQUARE 1

Taurus Saturn opposite Scorpio Mercury, Square Capricorn Mars: This is the more general source of his anger and temper towards other people, and it involves previously mentioned aspects. For this T-Square, he has his apex planet (or the focal planet where we see the problem) as Mars, which has been the running theme, if not the dominant energy in the native’s chart. The point of tension with this T-square can point back to his aggression surrounding the way he dominates and manipulates control. Saturn opposite Mercury can suggest frustration from an inability to relate to others personally due to a lack in communication skills, which could have been a theme for him from a young age. Sean could have also been subjected to seeing different ways of being overpowered by authority in his upbringing or early career, which can create initial opposition with authority that he’d aspire to overcome, and a desire to achieve the same ‘untouchable’ status that he had been privy to, even through aggressive and violent means. Sean may have grown up to inspire control over those weaker than him, in comparison to what he may have been subjected to growing up. The ruler of the sign Mars is in (Saturn) being in the sign of Taurus can bring a direct importance and drive to achieve power through his material/financial status. He is a very technical person, and very strict, especially if it comes to criticizing or training people (which has come up before in other sections). As an employer, this can make Sean a very harsh person who may place extreme demands on the people under him, even if they were simply apprentices. Sean has a significant pattern of having a dominating presence over the people in his life, whether they work for him, are friends with him, or within romantic and intimate relationships. This is the perfect configuration for “aggressive manipulation”, which Sean seems to always be tied to. He is also capable of bringing sorts of ‘punishment’ onto those who don’t abide by his expectations. This can also be in lesser extremes, such as being harsh with his training/teaching and aggressive dictation. In recent history, there have been classic shows that essentially depict this and what immediately comes to mind is ‘Making the Band’. Incidents such as the ‘Cheesecake’ incident (and things such as hazing) are great manipulation tactics where Sean can construct the belief of one’s own authority and how he was projecting that onto his signees. This was how he was able to achieve the authoritative status that he did as a mogul/gatekeeper in the industry, reinforced with his Capricorn Mars at the 29th (Leo) degree. This is also a T-square that can pinpoint his ability to network through the industry and being in rooms with different ‘important’ people and allowing himself a roster of artists/fellow associates to catapult himself ahead as a music executive. In a more technical context, this is a T-square that also points to his ‘shady’ business (one off, not only). Mercury being in the sign of Scorpio (and adversely having Pluto in the sign of Virgo) opposite Saturn in the sign of Taurus can signify Diddy’s affinity toward his iron-clad contracts, NDAs, and underhanded payouts (as mentioned in previous sections). Adding that the sign ruled by Saturn is also his Mars placement, Saturn’s energy is prominent within this T-square (Saturn/Capricorn = binding contracts, corporate business). In a sense, with Mercury in Scorpio (Scorpio = joint investments, joint accounts, ‘other people’s money’), Sean was able to manipulate those who he’s signed into going into contractual business with him, and the Mercury-Saturn opposition can translate into bad contract dealings.

T-SQUARE 2

Capricorn Mars opposite Cancer Lilith, Square Libra Venus: This specific T-square can suggest his dynamic that he has towards women. As previously mentioned, Lilith in Cancer in a man’s chart can suggest a distain or blatant lack of respect for the feminine quality and finding women to be a weaker species. Add in the opposite angle happening with Mars and you have someone who likes to overpower the women in his life. The apex planet of this T-square is Venus in Libra, which is squaring his Cancer Lilith and his Capricorn Mars. The focus here is the essential ‘domination’ over his sexual/intimate and even business relationships, and the aggression that he naturally has towards women, and this can go especially for the women he has signed in the past. The ruling planet of the Lilith placement is the Moon, which is placed in the sign of Virgo, which governs routine, work, and health/diet. A lot of Sean’s criticism towards women can have a lot to do with how they look, their diet, and how they take care of themselves. This can absolutely correlate to the women he dates as well as for the women he decides to sign and work with. As previously mentioned, Virgo is the sign of the teacher/trainer, and this can represent why the Lilith in Cancer placement is so obsessive with overpowering women in a way of dictating and critiquing them. The women in his life have to abide by a certain standard, and in a lot of ways can make him prejudice to certain types of women and want to ‘fix’ or ‘change’ them to what he finds appealing. If they don’t fall in line the way he wants to (Venus in Libra), there is a violent streak that can come out in him (Mars opposite Lilith).

CRADLE 1

Pluto Chiron Opposition (Pluto in Virgo, Chiron in Aries), Virgo Pluto sextile Scorpio Neptune, Virgo Pluto trine Capricorn Mars, Aries Chiron sextile Capricorn Mars, Aries Chiron trine Scorpio Neptune, and Capricorn Mars sextile Scorpio Neptune: This can pinpoint to a lot of rage that is inspired by insecurities and deep seeded psychological wounds (Pluto opposite Chiron) that don’t have a healthy exit point. On one hand you have a Chiron in Aries, which can indicate someone who has insecurities surrounding the expression of their masculinity, or may have some tendencies toward toxic masculinity, narcissism, and misogyny. On the other hand, his Pluto in Virgo can point to obsessive compulsive behaviors that can reach extremes about perfecting a specific standard, which may lean more toward internalized powerlessness and insecurity. This opposition can result in him overcompensating for these wounds/insecurities, projecting them onto others, and can manifest in him seeking to dominate others with that Pluto influence. The supporting aspects that create this cradle (Mars, Neptune) speak to the talent/opportunities that are connected to his goal-oriented determination and business-like ambition (Capricorn Mars) and his artistic abilities with musical vibrations (Scorpio Neptune). This cradle can suggest someone who is able to use their power and influence in the music industry to hide from their psychological wounds and using it as a crutch or suit of armor that is meant to keep him from being accountable for the way he may strong-arm other people to get to his desired status. I can also see this being a main source of his believing he was invincible from receiving any certain consequences. This can also be a source of him using his power to engage in sexual encounters of his dominating desires, and having a forceful and aggressive undertone that can easily become threatening. Another interesting thing about the Mars sextile Neptune included in this cradle, which may indicate that he would have desires to film/take pictures of these encounters, which has been alleged of him being in possession of photographic evidence of some encounters from his own partners or of different women in different states. Leverage that to him, can be interpreted as a way for him to brag or assert domination with these women by sending these intimate pictures/videos out to his mutuals (rapper 50 Cent was cited as receiving such intimate photos of Cassie from Sean back in 2010). It’s likely that Sean may be someone who wants to be able to act out and film his sexual fantasies (Scorpio Neptune) and most of them may be where he’s dominating his partner, possibly in violent ways with Mars in a trine to Pluto. A lot of his reputation, both known and unknown, are tied up with this specific astrological pattern, but the Pluto Chiron opposition alone can be the indicator of a rapist/rape victim, which the trine/sextiles to Mars and Neptune can support this. It is also alleged that he had enough power to make people ‘disappear’ and this cradle supports the manifestation of that, especially with Mars’ trine to Pluto and its sextile to Neptune. This specific configuration supports any kind of claims or allegations linked to his violent nature being supported or even helped through the power or status that he has maintained in the industry, and him using violence to stay feared (because to Sean, Fear=Power; Mars trine Pluto).

CRADLE 2

Mars Lilith Opposition (Capricorn Mars, Cancer Lilith), Capricorn Mars sextile Scorpio Neptune, Capricorn Mars trine Virgo Pluto, Cancer Lilith sextile Virgo Pluto, Cancer Lilith trine Scorpio Neptune, and Scorpio Neptune sextile Virgo Pluto: This cradle has the same Mars Pluto trine, which encompasses that ability to acquire power and protection within the industry (involving Neptune) previously mentioned, but the focus of the tension is shifted to the complete rejection of feminine energy. Mars in Capricorn opposite Lilith in Cancer can create a self-preserving, venomous individual whose passions/ambitions are being channeled into episodes of rebellion, domination and control. This is a person who is vengeful, sneaky and domineering when it comes to his sexual and intimate relationships and can find himself projecting that back on to the women he engages with. Lilith in Cancer can directly relate to a desire to dominate women (if afflicted) especially to empower oneself, but with it opposite to Mars in Capricorn this can stem from some kind of hatred or coldness toward women that can also come off as complete disrespect. The Lilith trine Neptune in Scorpio can note an inclination to sex rituals, or spiritual (occult) explorations through sexual means in a way to manifest and manipulate energy, and a lot of women in his past have been participants and may even been scouted out for such (Mars sextile Neptune). This is also supportive of engaging in sex trafficking and being able to fly under the radar (Neptune trine Chiron, Lilith, sextile Mars). A lot of Sean’s sexual lifestyle and nature were always something people illuded to being of a dark nature, or at the very least, unconventional. It is possible Sean can have a sexual kink of dominating women in violent ways (as mentioned as being a running theme), with Mars and Pluto in a trine. Lilith being in Cancer can indicate his overall shadow side, or hidden nature, being projected onto women. This can especially be dangerous with Lilith opposite a violent planet, such as Mars, and in a sign like Capricorn he could also be a person who is punishing, domineering or restrictive of them. This could be a man who is not only sexually violent toward women, but also physically aggressive and violent with them as well. I can even say he doesn’t like women as far as respecting them as people. There were a lot of people that were around that were aware of Sean’s behavior with women in private, and so many of them turned a blind eye to their well-being, and even their safety. His Capricorn Mars indicates someone who prioritizes the power that comes with what he’s achieved, and being able to do what he wants because of it. So, with this Mars Lilith opposition, it is likely that he is the type of person to use his power and influence to attract the women that can act out his sexual desires (Scorpio Neptune) and there is an overwhelming tone of domination that can edge on the border of violence. A final note worth addressing was Sean’s Mars sextile Neptune. With Neptune governing photography, videography and even porn, he may have an interest in the documentation of his encounters with a camera, as well as using this as leverage against these women to have continued control over them (Neptune sextile Pluto), which can be further cited by the allegation of being sent Cassie’s ‘intimate photos’ in the past.

CONCLUSION

The further I go (down the rabbit hole), the more I can find evidence that Sean ‘P Diddy’ Combs is capable of most of everything that he has been accused of thus far, and he is still being hit with lawsuits of a violent sexual nature as I’ve been conducting my case on this. I have to say that I learned a lot more about this figure than what I honestly had an interest to, so much so that I’m deciding to take a break from this topic that I’ve now split into two parts (Diddy X Cassie synastry report will serve as the revisited/part 2). But a lot of what has been coming out against Sean can be explained by quite a few configurations in his chart and can be evenly deduced that he may be capable of more than a fraction of it. There were two main points that I wanted to highlight and bring home each time in regard to Sean’s psychological make-up; his controlling/domineering nature, and his sexual deviancy, and what exactly motivates the two and where it stems from. A lot of Mars (Scorpio) and Capricorn influences can be part of the contributing factors to the emphasis on power and control. His Lilith in Cancer opposing Mars in Capricorn is a major indicator of his sexual violence towards women, among other things, and it is the Aries Chiron that can give insight into his psychological wounds around masculinity. Another point one can make with his chart alignments is that he is a product of his environment, especially when you consider the facts of his life. His parents were both living alternative lifestyles, and Sean being a witness/participant in these lifestyles only fueled his familiarity to it. Speculatively, his mother being an escort opened the door for different sexual fetishes that he has till this day (Moon-South Node conj., Lilith in Cancer opposition to Mars in Capricorn) as it was alleged that this was how he was introduced to the concept of ‘orgies’. Recent findings can speculate that him and his mother engage in deviant behavior together, as a video cites Sean exclaiming his mother ‘likes to have a good time’ and how she can ‘touch the floor with her palms…flat’, which in itself is some ‘disturbing’ inuendo. This can very well play a role in his disrespect towards women as a species, as well as viewing them as sexual objects rather than people. It was also alleged by rapper Mase that Sean’s mother gatekeeps all of Sean’s ‘dirty’ business and is the main proprietor of his estate (Virgo Moon trine Saturn (Taurus) and sextile Sun-Mercury conj. in Scorpio). On the other side of the coin, Sean’s father is an alleged gang member/drug dealer that would have Sean present on certain ‘violent’ occasions, which can contribute to Sean’s belief in fear and barbarity being the most effective means to gain power and control, and this can be expressed with his Sun-Mercury conj. opposite Saturn (and instilled with afflicted Chiron in Aries). Allegedly Sean was even present when his father was gunned down in what is being described as either ‘gang activity’ or ‘a drug deal gone bad’ (Saturn in Taurus square Mars in Capricorn). These configurations can also speak to being mentored by men in the industry, who have a lot of power and prestige themselves. These where the examples that were set for him at a young age, and the way he turned out can be seen as the materialization of these influences.

When I revisit this topic, it will be from the angle of the ‘enslavement’, ‘sexual abuse’ and ‘trafficking’ that was the 10 year relationship between Sean Combs and Cassandra Ventura.

THANKS FOR READING

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