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etherealising · 9 months

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chapter seven | they know i believed in us last week

masterlist | ↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader | platonic!pete x fem!reader | male!oc x fem!reader |

summary: carmy struggles to deal with your absence in his life, while you finally learn to live without him.

wc: 7.3k

song rec: i'll still have me - cyn, aquilo

semi-edited/proof-read

“Carm hey, are you listening?” Natalie’s eyes flitted across Carmy’s face, his blank eyes staring directly past her. She took this moment as a chance to take in her younger brother’s ragged appearance, at first glance he looked like he normally did; exhausted. But taking the time to really study him, she knew Carmy was doing worse than he’d ever admit.

His usual textured and fluffy hair was limp against his head, the greasy quality of it proving he needed a wash. The discoloration under his eyes was the worst Nat had seen it, the deep blue-purple bruising a sign that he was getting even less sleep than he usually did. The skin of his lips was dehydrated and bitten to pieces, a tick he had as a child that gradually calmed down as he grew older. And the visible stubble on his chin was enough to know that the absence of your presence in his life was hitting him harder than anyone expected.

Her eyes caught on the chain that was haphazardly peeking out of his shirt, squinting at the newly added pendant hanging from it. Natalie didn’t have to be a genius to know whose initial hung around Carmen’s neck, the chain which was usually safely tucked into his shirt was now blatantly on show for everyone to see. Natalie had noticed it more recently since your and Carmy’s argument, though this was her first time seeing it this close. She would find him just standing in the restaurant, sometimes eyes staring into nothing as he worried the pendant between his fingers, oftentimes raising it to his lips before letting it go completely and wandering to do whatever task needed to be done.

Natalie’s concern was palpable but the discomfort in her abdomen was worse. “Have you tried talking to her?” The shaky breath she let out filtered between the two of them.

Carmen’s eyes finally snapped to hers taking in the uncomfortable expression on her face, “Sug?” He waited for Nat to focus on him. “You good?” The question hung in the air as Natalie tried to even out her breathing.

Using his sister's obvious discomfort to deflect from the conversation she was insistent on having wasn’t the nicest thing to do, but he’d rather put his sister’s well-being before being forced to think about how long it had been since he last spoke to you; he last saw you.

Carmy watched as Sug raised a closed hand to her mouth suppressing the urge to gag. “Yeah good, I’m good.” The forced smile on her lips did nothing to fool Carmy, but he wouldn’t force the issue.

“Can you uh, explain to me again how we’re doing, I spaced.” His fingers raised to run through his hair a small grimace painting his face at the grime he could feel left behind on his fingertips.

“Seven weeks out, Carm, and still so much to be done,” An exhausted sigh breathed through Natalie’s lips. The stress opening this restaurant caused felt extremely unnecessary considering her current status.

“No yeah I heard that,” Carmy nodded his head rapidly, Sug’s words slowly coming back to him. He squinted his eyes, hand scratching the grown-out stubble on his chin. “You uh said something about the DBA getting rejected?”

“About that.” Natalie’s voice trailed off one hand pressing into her abdomen to ease the ache, “The name’s taken.”

Nat watched as Carmy processed the words, her discomfort felt like it was increasing as the seconds passed by.

“Who the fuck could’ve taken the name?” The idea perplexed Carmy. There was no chance another business could have the same name, well there was, it was just slim as hell.

Nat shrugged just as confused as Carmy “It’s been trademarked for years, whoever filed has all legal rights to the name.”

“Fuck me!” The pitch of Carmy’s voice rose along with his irritation.

Natalie’s own mumbled expletive was drowned out by Carmy’s outburst, the nauseating morning sickness she was experiencing came in an extra hard bout today.

“Yo, Sug…Sug. You sure you’re okay?” Carmy’s concern now outweighed his confusion, Nat’s weird behavior this whole morning was beginning to worry him.

“I can do this Carmy right, tell me I can do this.” Natalie’s breathing began to increase as a slight panic flooded through her. Carmy watched her with wide eyes, no idea what she could even be talking about.

“Tell me I can do it, Carm!” The wave of nausea subsided with her yell, Carmy’s hands raised in the air to divert blame.

“Fuck okay! You can do it Sug.”

“I am…completely terrified. And I’m only telling you because..I don’t know. Just-just in case.” Natalie nodded to herself as a way to provide her nerves with courage.

Carmy just stared at Natalie still not following where she was leading this conversation to.

“I really want this to be loving and good and happy,” A smile rose to Nat’s face “I just..I don’t want anyone to know…well besides Baby and now you.”

Carmy’s eyes focused on Sug’s abdomen, the pieces of the puzzle slowly fitting together in his head. The name she spoke felt like it was echoing through his ears.

“Sure” He wasn’t sure how to react to the news, he had always assumed Natalie would be the first of the siblings to start a family. And as the years passed by he knew it was a desire he himself had.

“I really don’t want Richie to know. Because somehow, it feels more in my control when and who knows…” The sound of the wall falling caused Nat to raise her voice as she finished her sentence. “That I’m pregnant.” Her final words were spoken just loud enough to alert the crew to her news.

“I fuckin’ knew it.” The sound of Richie’s shout grated on Nat’s nerves, but the quiet congratulations helped to ease her ire a bit.

Carmy was happy for Sugar, but it felt like it was setback after setback for the restaurant and all the personal issues he was dealing with weren't helping his stress. He felt his shoulders sag a bit mind racing as to how the name could already be trademarked, or who would’ve trademarked it.

His eyes found Richie’s as the man cajoled about how he knew Natalie was pregnant this whole time. Had Richie told someone the name and they took it for themselves? Did Mikey somehow trademark it while on a bender? The thought made Carmy’s head hurt what the fuck even was the point of opening this restaurant if they couldn’t use the name. The name was the epitome of the restaurant.

If you were here Carmy knew you would've given him an analogy for how he was feeling, you would’ve told him he was like Atlas holding up the sky or whatever he did. He shook his head trying to rid himself of thoughts of you, it wasn’t helping him in the least.

As much as he’d rather not converse with Richie, he needed to get to the bottom of this trademark business.

“Yo, Cousin!” The words felt wrong escaping Carmy’s lips the two men avoided each other in the same way you avoided Carmen.

The agitation on Richie’s face was instant, Carmy knew he fucked up with you, but the cold shoulder he was getting from Richie felt unnecessary.

Nat watched as the two men locked eyes, not too keen on playing referee for these two again. She looked in Carmy’s direction as Richie began making his way over, trying to gauge what was going through her little brother's mind.

“Carmen,” Richie nodded in acknowledgment to Carmy. Richie would be lying if he said he wasn’t purposefully using Carmy’s government name to rile him up, he knew how much Carmy hated it when you did it, and since you weren’t here someone had to uphold the tradition.

Carmy felt his eye twitch Richie’s immaturity since the argument with you felt never-ending. “Did Mikey ever trademark the name?”

Richie frowned looking between him and Nat the assumption that he had any goddamn clue laughable “What the fuck did Mikey look like trademarking shit? Wasn’t I just slangin’ crack to keep the lights on?”

Carmy’s eyes shut as Nat let out a quiet gasp, watching as Richie raised his hands in defense. Maybe running a back alley drug ring wasn’t the best for business, but without it, they may not have been in this moment renovating the restaurant.

“Well someone fucking trademarked it, Richie.” The attitude Carmy was catching was wholly unwelcome.

“I don’t like your tone, Carmen,” Richie matched Carmy’s energy giving him what he was getting. “All I’m sayin’ is Mikey didn’t trademark it whoever did might…I dunno hypothetically deserve an apology in return for said documents.”

Carmy was at his wits end with the older man “Oh so you’re the fucking Riddler now.”

“Baby trademarked the name?” Nat’s voice traveled between the trio at the same time as Carmen’s snarky remark. Carmy’s head shot to her, confused as to how she concluded you had anything to do with the conversation at hand.

“Bingo!” Richie’s hands came together in a loud clap Sydney rolled her eyes at the obnoxious man before looking over the various work orders. “She did that shit years ago and gave it to Mikey as a present, he…left it for her when he passed.”

A quiet fell over their small group, each of them taking in the gesture. Richie had only become privy to the present when he went through the office to try and make sense of what the hell Mikey was doing to keep the business up and running. He had knocked a framed picture of your group off the desk cleaning up the mess only to find the folded trademark document in the back of the broken picture frame.

Your name was haphazardly scribbled into the back of it.

Carmen’s chest heaved as he let the news wash over him, it seemed since the two of you had your falling out the universe was continuously pushing him to interact with you. He raised his hand to his face, rubbing it up and down as he added another item to the long list of things going wrong with the restaurant.

In a way, learning that you were responsible for trademarking the name made Carmy’s chest feel warm. It felt like you wanted this for Mikey just as much as he did, the two of you both supporting Mikey in ways the other never knew. It also gave him an excuse to speak with you, not that he needed one. If he was a better man he would’ve already worked up the courage to reach out to you. He could feel a headache coming on the more he thought about trying to fix things with you.

Carmen was sure he’d figure things out soon, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could figure things out with you not by his side. Which he would admit was quite ironic considering all the times he had willingly pushed you away. But being pushed away by you had proven to him just how badly he was screwing things up with you, to hear you be so upset by his actions he basically forced you into confessing your love stung him to his core.

Carmy wasn’t exactly sure what love was supposed to feel like, but he was almost positive it wasn’t this. The ache in his chest from not being around you, looking for you in every crowd he was in. Soaking up any conversation your name was mentioned in. Maybe he did know what love was supposed to feel like, because for all the time he had been in love with you, he had never once felt so completely and utterly broken as he had been since not fighting for your love a year ago like he should have.

“That was Nat,” you looked up as Pete returned to the table, a smile growing on your face at how happy he looked to have been speaking with his wife. “Cat’s out of the bag! Our pregnancy is no longer top secret!”

Pete’s excitement was contagious, your smile growing wider at his pure joy. “Our pregnancy?” You chuckled never having heard anyone refer to it as if the pregnancy was shared.

You watched as Pete sipped the water in front of him, a signature goofy smile back on his face. “Of course! I mean yeah Nat is carrying the baby, but I’m just as pregnant as she is.” You gave Pete a confused look, a laugh bubbling out of you.

“You laugh now Baby, but I’m serious.” Pete paused as the waiter brought out the bread for your table, both of you quickly thanking them. “Nat’s my partner you know? And I’m so grateful for her providing me the opportunity to be a father. Allowing me to build with her, for us to come together and bring a child into this world, it’s a beautiful thing I love her ya know.”

The sheen in Pete’s eyes was enough to make you emotional you didn’t need to hear his explanation to know how much Pete loved Natalie, you could just see it in the way he looked at her, in the way his face would light up when anyone would mention her name or ask about her.

“I’m happy that Nat has someone like you to build a life with.” Both you and Pete shared misty-eyed smiles, chuckles leaving each of you at how emotional the small things made both of you.

“Looks like that dinner you were planning just turned into a full-blown baby shower!” The loud clap Pete’s hands made startled you. “Wow, it really will be a Baby shower!”

You watched as Pete laughed at his own pun, doing your best not to laugh along with him and encourage his bad jokes. The relationship you developed with Pete was a bit weird in the beginning, you weren’t the most open to the idea, and it’s not because you didn’t like Pete, it just felt like you were replacing Mikey.

It took a while before you could look at Pete and realize he wasn’t trying to replace Mikey’s role in your life, and that the drugs and paranoia had driven you to that conclusion. Pete was a great man, standing by Natalie’s side while she fought to keep you alive. Probably being more accepting than someone else may have been when he and Nat decided to help you. Pete and Natalie both put aside their own lives to help you get better, and get back on your feet, and while part of you wished Mikey was around to ground you as well, Pete’s love and kindness didn’t deserve to be taken for granted.

“That dinner was supposed to be a surprise for you too Peter,” you shot him a tiny glare before reaching for some bread. “I just wanted you both to have a nice night off together, no stress.” The reservation had already been made, but thinking about Pete’s words and the excitement when explaining most everyone knew about the pregnancy, maybe it would have been best for an intimate shower for the two soon-to-be parents.

Pete was definitely a family guy and Natalie came from a big family, maybe a shower would be for the best. Surround them with people who loved and supported them and just allow everyone to bask in the happiness the joyous news brought, you were sure everyone could use a break.

“Okay hypothetically say I put together a small shower for the two of you, is that even something Nat would want?” Sure you knew Nat but Pete was her husband and this was their moment, you didn’t want to ambush her with a party she never wanted.

You watched Pete bristle a little, a nervous smile raised to his lips, “I uh I’m not sure if Nat ever told you but she kinda had this…this whole dream about the two of you,” you frowned confused at what Pete was talking about.

“Well not like an unconscious sleeping dream, more like a-an idea?” Pete’s voice rose at the end of his sentence, not sure if the question in his tone was meant for you or him.

“Pete bud you lost me.” You gave him a small nod of encouragement awaiting his response.

“Um so…after your uh…loss,” a sad smile rose to Pete’s lips, you could see the apology in his eyes. “Nat she uh…she confided in me about how she always wanted to be the one to throw you a shower if you ever decided to have children. And if-when we had our own she’d want you to be in charge of hers…if you wanted to not like she would force you.” The nervous huff of laughter from Pete hung in the air for a minute.

The admission perplexed you, Nat had never brought this up to you directly and maybe it was because she felt like she couldn’t. You weren’t the most open when it came to the topic of your miscarriage always avoiding the conversation whenever Nat tried to breach it.

“Baby…you’re the closest thing Natalie has to a sister. I can promise she would be ecstatic no matter what decision you choose.”

You nodded, the motion happened unconsciously as you tried to take in everything Pete had laid on you. Of course, there were things Nat wouldn’t share with you, but while the two of you were like sisters you didn’t expect her to share every little detail with you. As you let Pete’s words digest you couldn’t help the warm feeling beginning to flood through your body, if you were being honest you weren’t sure if it was the best idea to be throwing anyone a baby shower, but you also knew Natalie deserved to be celebrated, not only for the life she and Pete were creating together, but also for all the work she was doing to ensure that The Bear had a fighting chance.

“Okay,” your head continued its up-and-down motion. “Yeah okay let’s do it but I’m going to need your help, Pete.” You watched the smile on his face increase tenfold, your own wide smile spreading your lips due to how contagious Pete’s joy was.

“Anything and I mean anything Baby, I am your guy.” Pete’s giddiness warmed you even more, you didn’t think you had ever been surrounded by anyone with such a positive attitude before. In the beginning, when Natalie and Pete first began dating, his electric personality was a bit much but you found yourself always trying to make Pete feel included, especially with how off-putting the rest of the Berzatto clan could be.

And when you were recovering it was almost like you had to re-acclimate yourself to Pete’s personality. Your recovery was hard, there were some days you weren’t even sure if you wanted to get better or if you wanted oxygen to continue filling your lungs. But Pete was so positive and always looking at life and your situation with a ‘glass half full’ mentality, that his constant belief in you helped to make the hard days easier.

A small sigh escaped your lips as you readied yourself for the question you were about to ask. “Pete, do you think you could give me Carmen’s number?” You tried not to roll your eyes as you saw Pete’s own light up, you were almost positive he would be telling Nat about this topic of conversation. “Before you get any ideas, I just need it to invite him to the shower.” You raised your hands in defense hoping Pete wouldn’t look into this any more than he already was.

“No can do B, the idea train has already left the station.” His fingers drummed on the table with excitement. “But I will do you one better,” you frowned as you watched Pete pick up his phone, fingers skating across the screen before he held it up to show you. A call to Carmen already going through as Pete sent you a thumbs-up.

You looked at the screen eyes wide, the shock temporarily paralyzed for a moment. The quiet sound of the ringing between the two of you brought you back. “Pete! Hang up the phone.” Your voice was terse as you spoke trying not to draw too much attention from other patrons.

Pete laughed, “He never answers my calls anyway.” Pete’s words irritated you, but you were glad to see the call go to voicemail before Pete pressed the end call button and set his phone down.

You let out a surprised laugh, Pete had definitely been too influenced by the Berzattos during his time with Natalie. The little stunt he just pulled was something you knew both Richie and Mikey would do if given the chance.

“Baby?” Your head raised eyes meeting Pete’s, “I know this may sound selfish, but I…I need you to figure out this thing between you and Carmen.” Your eyebrows furrowed the need to defend yourself hitting you full force, you opened your mouth to respond but stopped as Pete raised his hand, a signal to let him continue.

“I know Baby, I know. I’ll be honest with you, as much as I love Nat’s family I think you should’ve given up on Carmen a long time ago.” Your jaw fell slack, and Pete’s eyes widened a bit. “No, no just for your own wellbeing, your peace of mind.” You began nodding as Pete explained himself better. “I just, whatever is going on between you and Carmen, it’s affecting Nat. And she won’t tell you because you deserve to feel how you feel, but with the baby and the restaurant…she doesn’t need to play "Fix it Felix” with you and Carmen right now.”

You let out a small chuckle at Pete’s explanation, over the years he had begun expressing himself to you more. You being the only one on Natalie’s side who actually gave him the time of day and willfully listened to him, helped him to gain more confidence when around the rest of the Berzattos. You reached for your glass of water, taking a long sip before setting it down.

“Thank you, Pete, for being honest,” you sighed, finger playing with the condensation on your cup. “If I’m being honest, it's easy to forget that Nat’s in the middle of everything. She’s so good at pretending it doesn’t affect her.” A rueful smile rose to your lips, as great as a friend as Natalie had been to you through everything, you weren’t sure the same could be said for yourself. “You’re right, Carmen and I are adults, we should be able to figure this out ourselves. I’ll…I’ll call him, figure things out.” You sent Pete a small smile.

Recently it felt like Natalie and Pete nursed you back to health and then for some reason became your surrogate parents. You didn’t think there was anything wrong with leaning on them, the three of you did endure a traumatic experience together so it was understandable. But maybe you had become too comfortable and relied on them too much to ‘fix’ your life. You could understand where Pete was coming from and he had every right to put his wife’s well-being before the feelings of his friends.

You knew Natalie and Pete would be amazing parents and of course, Nat’s fears were valid. But you had seen firsthand just how loving, caring, and kind the couple was, and while that wasn’t all that went into raising a child it was like a part of you just knew that their child would be in great hands.

“Enough about my poor life choices Pete, have you guys thought of any names?” The timing of the question couldn’t have been more perfect, Pete perked up at the question, eyes glazing over with excitement. A waiter stopped by your table to deliver your entrees as Pete began animatedly explaining his and Nat’s process for picking names.

A part of you ached at how happy Pete was, if things were different, maybe in another life you would’ve been able to see that excitement on another man’s face. Maybe the two of you would’ve come up with your own system for picking out names.

You listened as lunch continued, no matter how many times the thought had crossed your mind, you would always be grateful that Natalie had found a partner to love her in the ways she deserved.

It was silent between you and Cortez as you made your second lap around the block, the church in the distance behind you. Your hands were preoccupied with a warm disposable cup of hot cocoa as Cortez gingerly sipped his choice of tea. This had become the routine for your meetings with your sponsor, the two of you would meet at the bodega a little ways away from the church that housed both AA and NA meetings. Then continue your meeting with a few circles around the block before ending at the church stairs when all was said and done.

The air was tense between the two of you, Cortez hadn’t taken kindly to your decision to skip out on the few check-ins that you had asked for. In the beginning, you were in constant contact with Cortez, feeling the match between the two of you out. As you progressed through recovery and got back into the routine of daily life the daily talks between the two of you began to dwindle as you settled into life as a recovering addict.

But after that initial meeting at The Beef, being in Carmen’s presence again, surrounding yourself with Richie and the life you once knew, the meetings with Cortez picked back up in frequency. And you were doing fine for some time, the man meeting with you when you needed it, always willing to speak with you whenever you asked and it was helpful, god was it helpful. But then you made it to step nine, step eight in the recovery program was its own monster that Cortez helped you through especially when it came to who didn’t need to be on your list.

You made the decision to text Cortez after admitting your faults to Richie. As great as it felt to finally be open with Richie and let him into your life, it also brought with it the urge to use again. Richie had been kind enough to take the bottle of champagne off your hands that night, but the desire to call Fak and ask if Theo had anything he could spare almost won out. But as you scrolled through your contacts the red icon hovering over the voicemail tab brought you back to your senses.

“So your friend Richie knows?” Your eyes shot to Cortez taking in his side profile before focusing back on their attention focused on the steaming paper cup of coffee gripped in their hands.

“Yeah, his daughter kind of spilled the beans.” You nodded playing with the frayed edges of your jeans.

“That’s a bit fucked up don’t cha think?” Cortez’s brows furrowed. “I mean how does his little girl know but he don’t that’s gotta hurt.”

You rolled your eyes, “Aren’t you supposed to like not be judgmental?” Cortez’s laugh felt like it was grating on your ears, as good a sponsor as he was, he had the personality of an annoying older brother you were happy not to have.

“It ain’t even judgment though, it’s an observation.” You didn’t have to be looking at him to know that annoying smirk was on his lips as he shrugged his shoulders.

You stopped as Cortez dropped his now empty cup in a trash bin on the street, “Didn’t know you received your inspector gadget certification.”

“That smart ass mouth is bouta be the reason you out here looking for a new sponsor,” you let out a cackle before taking a much-needed sip of your hot cocoa. “Sound like my daughter with that dumb shit.” If you didn’t know the man who was walking by your side, you would’ve thought he was actually upset, but you could tell by the uptick of his lips he didn’t take anything to heart.

The two of you rounded the corner coming up on the church. You watched as Cortez plopped his long limbs down on one of the steps, opting to sit on the railing. Cortez took out his pack of cigarettes bringing the box to his mouth and removing one before offering the box in your direction. You slipped one out a small laugh escaped you at the irony of everything, how you had once been so against the cancer sticks that those around you would make sure not to smoke around you. And then instead of indulging in a nicotine addiction, you turned to alcohol and prescription pills, the fact that you would smoke a cigarette here and there to appease your urges now felt a bit comical.

You leaned forward allowing Cortez to light your cigarette, “Man ain’t nothin’ like smoking on Big G’s doorstep.” Cortez’s voice filled the silence that had settled over the two of you, you took a drag of the cigarette, a small chuckle escaping you with the smoke.

“I used to hate these fucking things.” The disgust on your face was obvious even as the stick hung from your mouth.

“Why you take one every time I offer 'em’ then?” Cortez switched positions leaning his elbows on the step behind him as he stretched his long limbs out in front of them, offering a wave to the few people entering the church for whatever meeting was scheduled to take place.

You shrugged eyes falling to Cortez’s beat-up boots as you sucked the nicotine deep into your lungs, “They’re the same brand Mikey smoked.”

“Damn ma, that shits kinda sad.” The two of you locked eyes before small laughs left the both of you. You had been around Cortez for so long that you’d picked up on his need to turn most anything into a joke. And while in the beginning, it pissed you off, you realized that’s just who he was and that sometimes being able to laugh in serious moments or at your trauma was helpful.

“Nah seriously though better smokin’ these than messin’ with that shit that hooked you in the first place. Know what I mean?” You nodded, finishing off the cigarette in your hand before taking the second cigarette Cortez offered. You knew how these things went and had spent so much time with the man that you learned to read him. Cortez only ever smoked two cigarettes and offered you two if the conversation was gonna be a rough one.

“Where you at with them apologies?” You sighed letting the man light your cigarette one more time, allowing the fumes to warm your lungs.

You dropped from your seat on the railing, your backside had gone numb. You settled yourself to lean against the railing “I mean I told Richie the truth and there were a lot of apologies in that conversation. But I feel like he deserves a better apology.” You shrugged, your attention dropping to Cortez as he listened.

“Ima be honest wit chu, this might be the hardest part of recovery. Shit I know it was f’me admittin’ to my little girl her father was a fuckin’ junkie. But at the end of the day, you gotta remember this recovery shit is for you. If homeboy loves you like a sister like you say he does, all that should matter to him is that yo annoyin’ ass still here. A’ight, ma?” You listened, nodding along to his words. “All you can do is apologize for the shit you did, you can’t control whether people forgive you or not, and remember ain’t nobody gotta fuck with your apology if they don’t want to.”

You let Cortez’s words settle into you, to anyone else his words may not have seemed genuine but this is just who Cortez was. And you knew no matter how nonchalant he sounded he was speaking every word from his heart.

“You still fuckin with that lil dumbass boy?” The question caused you to choke on the last bit of cocoa in your cup.

“We had a falling out, he’s one of the people I have to apologize to though.” The cigarette between your fingers continued to burn. “There’s a lot I still haven’t told him…the substance abuse, the reasons behind my overdose.” An exhausted sigh pushed its way through your lips. It was like one thing after another when it came to you and Carmy.

“Listen I know we ain’t sposed to have like personal relationships and shit, but lemme know what homeboy looks like I’ll get my goons on em’ for you.” Your head fell back in laughter as Cortez raised his fist to under both of his eyes.

“No goons Cortez, please. Wait, have you ever actually put a hit on somebody before?” You obviously didn’t know Cortez as well as you would have if the two of you were friends. But it wasn’t hard to tell that he would get down if need be.

“Why someone say somethin’?” The two of you shared a laugh, the now more frequent people entering the church signifying that your time together was coming to an end.

“Aight, I gotta head in, get shit set up in there. But ima send you the info for Nar-Anon you give that shit to people who still choose to put up with yo ass. You comin' in?”

You shook your head sending him a small smile, “I came to the morning meetings today.”

You nodded in thanks as Cortez stood up, pushing yourself off the railing. You placed the cigarette between your lips leaving your hands open to do the handshake Cortez insisted you did after each meeting. When he first introduced it you were still getting used to the idea of being a recovering addict and thought he was fucking crazy. But you realized he used it as a way to break the serious desolate feeling that some of these meetings ended on, to help bring some light to what was such a dark reality.

At least that’s how he explained it to you, but you were sure he just liked doing the handshake his daughter helped him come up with.

“Ima see you when I see you ma stay straight.” You chuckled before turning on your heel to head to your parked car. Putting the bud of the cigarette out against the trash bin you passed. It was still early, enough time for you to knock out some baby shower shopping before it got too late.

Carmen stopped in his tracks, eyes finding your figure across the street. You were in front of the church that held the Al-Anon meetings he told you about. Maybe you would be attending the one he was here for, his eyes traveled to the man sitting on the steps you were talking to eyebrows furrowing as he realized the vapors leaving your mouth weren’t from your warm temperature, but instead the stick you had raised to your mouth.

“Baby?” The question left his lips in a quiet whisper, he knew it was you standing across the street but it had been a few weeks since your last interaction he was sure he had imagined you. But he would know you anywhere, by scent alone. He couldn’t help the shock at watching you smoke, something you had been so opposed to since the two of you were children. Even going so far as telling Carmy you couldn’t be friends when he smoked his first cigarette at 15, the stalemate barely lasted a day after you realized how dumb the idea was.

Carmy watched as the two of you stood up, his hopes to see you inside dwindling as he watched the two of you begin to part ways, an intricate handshake taking place before you turned to leave. He watched as your figure disappeared around the corner, a quiet ‘shit’ leaving his lips before he darted across the street trying to catch you before you were gone for good.

“Baby! Hey!” His shouts were useless, you were too far gone to have even heard him. “Fuck!” One hand raised to sit on the bill of his cap, the universe seemed like it was doing everything in its power to keep the two of you apart. Or maybe it was just the way things were meant to be.

Carmy turned to see the man you were with still standing in the same spot you left him, eyes narrowed as he took in Carmy’s figure. The man eyed Carmy for a moment longer, sending a head nod his way before turning and entering the church. Carmy was tempted to follow the man and ask about you, but whatever your relationship with the unknown man was, it was none of Carmy’s business.

He sighed eyes shooting up to the sky before taking a deep breath and making his way inside, not wanting to be late and disturb the Al-Anon meeting before it began. Carmy made his way to the room where the meeting usually took place, eyes landing on the same man from outside once more as he greeted members, the sign near the door he stood by signifying it was an NA meeting. Carmy stopped for a moment, eyes darting between the man and the sign he’d just read.

“You lost kid?” Carmy looked at the man brown furrowed as he shook his head, he sent a tight smile the man's way before walking two doors down for his own meeting. Carmen’s brain felt like it was racing a mile a minute. If you weren’t coming to the Al-Anon meeting, why were you here? And why were you talking with someone who appeared to be leading NA meetings?

The vibrating of his phone caught his attention, the device easily slipped out of his pocket. He felt the air leave his lungs as your name flashed across his screen, he realized just how indecent setting that Polaroid picture of you with his chain on might have been now that he was in public, but it’s not like he ever thought you’d call him.

How’d you even get his number?

“Carmen, hey, we’re about to start your coming?” His head shot up to one of the usual who attended these meetings and would talk to him on occasion.

“Yeah uh, just give me a minute.” Carmy gave a tight smile, eyes flashing back to his phone finger moving to swipe across the screen, the call abruptly ending before he even got the chance to hear your voice. Carmen was sure he had the worst luck in the world, a defeated sigh leaving him, he was almost positive there was no chance you were calling him back.

Quickly putting his phone on Do Not Disturb and in the safety of his jacket pocket, he entered the meeting, as much as he wanted to drop everything and fix things with you. He wasn’t even sure what you had called him for. Carmen also knew it was for the best to attend the meeting,

Carmen was sitting in his car allowing it to warm up as he waited. The skyline began to reflect the sunset, the time on the dashboard letting him know it was around dinner time. He fished his phone out of his pocket mindlessly checking the notifications he’d gotten while in the meeting.

Carmy’s brows furrowed at the flurry of messages he received from a group chat he wasn’t aware he was a part of. He frowned as he opened it, your contact is one of the many in the text chain. The only contact with a photo was yours, making you easily distinguishable, he realized the rest of the people in the chat were the restaurant crew. He scrolled through the messages eyes reading over your message with details about a baby shower, your address included.

Carmy exited out of his messages, unsure of how things were between the two of you. It had been three weeks since the argument and neither of you had tried contacting the other. But here he was with a message from you, and a missed call and he wasn’t sure how to take any of it.

He decided it was a good idea to call you back, and try and feel out the atmosphere between the two of you. His heart felt like it was stuttering in his chest as his finger hovered over his screen; you left him a voicemail. He needed to know what the message said, but a part of him was also worried he might not like what he heard, he had hurt you too many times to count, and if whatever you had to say to him broke him down more than he already was, well then he was sure he deserved it.

Carmen took one last deep breath before clicking on the voicemail and raising the phone to his ear, heart pounding in his chest as he heard the sweet whisper of your voice.

‘Hey Carmen, uh it’s me…Baby. Not sure why I introduced myself. I'm sure you know it’s me.” Carmy let out a watery chuckle at the sound of your voice, even if he hadn't saved your number the delicate timber of your voice would’ve been enough for him.

“Listen uh, I got your number for Pete. I hope you don’t mind, I know you have issues with girls actually having your number…Sorry, that was actually kind of rude. Anyway, I uh…Pete helped put things in perspective for me and I, I think we need to talk Carmen. I’m not sure when or if you even want that, but I think we both deserve a chance to explain our side of things. I um…I also have some things I think you should know. Just, if this is something you’re interested in, you have my number.” Carmen felt his heart rate slow down your words, nothing more than a piece offering.

“I just want to be clear though, um..if I don’t hear back from you, I’m going to take that as a sign. So yeah, call me back or something I guess.” The line finally went silent, your voice no longer caressing Carmy’s ears.

It felt like he was having heart palpitations but he knew it was just his nerves getting the best of him. He pulled the phone away from his ear, the time on his phone reading 5:30 p.m. Carmy quickly opened the group chat scrolling through to find your address and open it up in maps. You lived about 30 minutes from where he was, he was confident he could get there in 20 and spare the 10 minutes at a store near you.

Carmen made his decision as he set his phone down in the cup holder before beginning his journey. The ball was in his court, you had given him an olive branch and it was up to him whether he accepted it or not. He was nervous, maybe showing up at your house to cook you dinner wasn’t his most thought-out plan but he needed you desperately, needed to see you, be in your presence, and know that there was still a chance of something more between the two of you.

The hope Carmy felt when he saw you calling him earlier was now back tenfold: the pendant delicately resting against his chest felt warm. Carmen was adamant that he would admit his love for you tonight, unsure if he could go another day living with the fact that you were in love with him, but you still didn’t know just how much he had always loved you. You were so blissfully unaware that since he could remember, you had been the one and only option in his mind.

a/n: wowza, long time no see. i apologize that this is a bit of a filler chapter but it felt kinda necessary idk. anway please let me know if there are any problems with this chapter it's barely edited. enjoy : )

also also: both richard cabral as coco in mayans and manny montana as rio in good girls inspired cortez the sponsor, but head canon him as whoever you want…okay bye now 🤍

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy x reader #carmy the bear #carmen berzatto angst #carmen berzatto x you #the bear x reader #the bear fic #all i ever knew only you ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

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minswriting · 6 days

Note

Okay so I haven't sent an ask here before (also, terribly sorry for spamming your notifis, I just really love your writing😅)

But since uni finals have wrapped up all I can think about is trying to study with Reid. We know he's a great teacher, probably an even better tutor! But trying to study with him when you can't focus? When maybe you had 1 too many redbulls and keep focusing on the wrong things....or maybe he just looks extra nice tonight? I just- trying to study with Spence but you can't focus for shit lol

no warnings for this one. just pure simping

being a grad student, you had a lot of coursework you needed to focus on in order to obtain your master’s degree. as you had to study for your upcoming exam in one of your classes, you had asked your wonderful and most genius boyfriend in the world to help you. an action that seemed like a good idea at the time but isn’t working out too well.

it isn’t an issue with spencer at all. in fact, he’s perfect. he’s explaining concepts to you in a way that is clear and concise, giving facts while also explaining his own knowledge of the topic. all and all he’s a phenomenal tutor and teacher. however, he was hot. and that was the flaw you were having.

as he spoke, you couldn’t help but get lost in the way his voice sounded or the sparkle in his eye as he rambled about his own opinion of it. spencer was wearing this adorable sweater vest over his shirt and his glasses that he rarely ever wore. and god, he just looked so divine.

“so, did that help you understand?” spencer asked suddenly, finishing his rant as he finally looked at you.

you blinked, not comprehending what he had just said. “huh?” you asked.

“did my explanation help?” he asked, tilting his head slightly.

you felt your cheeks warm as you realized that you had indeed not been paying attention and therefore would need his explanation again. “truthfully,” you began. “i was too mesmerized by your handsomeness to comprehend what you were saying.”

and this caused spencer to blush as he stuttered over his words. “oh! uh- okay. uh- i-i could explain it again?”

“please.”

so he did. and you tried your hardest to pay attention to each and every word he spoke, taking notes as you did so. that way, if you did get distracted, you’d have points to show where you left off.

you were grateful of how patient spencer was with you. and you were extremely lucky to have such a beautiful tutor.

#🌸 — min’s asks #criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds smut #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x you #criminals minds x reader

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seaadc · 10 months

Note

sshshshshsh heyhey could i have some uhh aqua hoshino x streamer!reader

I feel like such a genius for thinking about this my third eye has been opened

status | aqua hoshino x streamer!fem!reader

a/n: THIS IS SUCH A UNIQUE REQUEST??!!!??? THANK U SM ANON!!

summary: aqua being madly infatuated with you ever since he had saw you streaming.

- “If the world was against us, then I’m against the world.”

You are definitely in for a treat, definitely.

Before Aqua had met you, he was not that quite.. expressive? He had a cold demeanor, You can call him stern, but not too quite.

When Aqua was silently working on the little short trailer of a video that the team he was working with in “Love now” was gonna post, He came across you in the internet.

You were streaming in youtube, Your hair looked good and it looks recently brushed. You were talking to your fans since you were popular— heck, you even knew Mem-cho! You were slightly more popular than her which caused you to have a lot of viewers.

The girl was talking about her life and desires, how she’d want to be an idol someday. Aqua narrowed his eyes at the screen, staring deep into your galactic eyes.. How mesmerizing. He wouldn’t admit that

You were acting all so bubbly and giddy, showing your viewers some stuff in your room. And, to be honest, Aqua enjoyed watching you. Or was he just tired? He was tired from editing the short clip, he just laid his head down the table and using his arms as support while he looked at the laptop, gazing into your eyes that wasn’t even staring into his own.

He then sighed and closed the laptop, standing up while he went outside to grab the juice Yuki was going to gave him.

Aqua went out, Mem-cho went inside and opened the laptop, checking if the video had gotten more popular but she was greeted by a familiar face.

“Oh! It’s [Name]!” The blondie muttered to herself, wondering what was the tab doing in the laptop.

“Huh.. Aqua left the room last.”

Aqua decided to take a stroll outside the building, not too far but not too near. He was walking down the sidewalks when he felt like he should get a snack. He went to the nearest store and went inside, the bell on top of the door ringing.

Aqua sighed to himself and grabbed some chips, To his surprise there was a girl next to him.

She looked up at the shelf and grabbed the same chips Aqua had got but a different flavor, The girl smiled brightly to herself and adjusted her cap.

Aqua looked at her, He was 2 inches taller than her if he could presume.. She looked oddly familiar.

“Miss… Uh.. Have I seen you somewhere?” Aqua asked softly, his eyes narrowing at the girl’s cap which was colored white.

The girl looked up at him, Aqua widening his eyes at the realization it was the streamer had come across earlier.

“Well that’s interesting. People can still recognize me?” You mumbled, sighing in disbelief while you headed over at the cashier and placed your chips down at the counter.

Aqua hummed and followed, right behind you while he waited in line. It was awkward.. The only sound you could hear was the cashier’s machine clacking and doing such beeps.

The girl turned and looked at Aqua, smiling warmly. “[Name], At your service.” She introduced, and left while the bell rang.

Aqua stared off into the door, following your figure until it has dissipated. He looked down at the chips and put it down the counter.. Somehow, He felt.. attached. He couldn’t explain why, It was definitely not the universe playing tricks on both of you… right?

Ever since Aqua met you in real life, He couldn’t stop. As in, He couldn’t stop checking your profile everyday to see if you have a new video or stream. Truth be told, He watched every single video you had made and streams. Even if they were past streams, He still persevered to watch it.

Aqua felt comfortable and satisfied whenever he would rewatch a video of yours when you won’t post due to lack of motivation, but he would always check. Everyday, Everynight.

One day as you set up your computer, You thought of the fair blonde guy you met at the shop. You smiled at the thought, knowing it was the same guy you supported in the show “Love now” and the upcoming Tokyo Revenger live action.

You started streaming and viewers rushed in the stream, waiting for other viewers to arrive while a certain username joined.

“AquaHoshino… Are you a fan or the guy himself?” You chuckled, the viewers commenting of how cute and adorable your smile is while the user you had mentioned didn’t reply.

Meanwhile, through the other screen, Aqua couldn’t contain himself when his tongue slipped out of your mouth. He kept staring at your face, He didn’t know why, but the word that fits to what he kept on doing for the past few months was definitely ‘Infatuation’.

Considering he was a doctor before, ‘course he knew what this thing was. But it took him quite a long time to accept that he was inlove with you. A streamer who makes money off it.

Aqua just entered Strawberry Productions since Miyako called for him, only to find out that you, yes you, had signed a contract. Turns out Mem-cho had invited you and both of you were conversing with eachother on the green couch.

Miyako smiled and walked up to Aqua. “We have a new member.” She spoke with a soothing voice. Aqua flinched when he saw you, You both held eye contact until you smiled.

Oh shit, That was the best thing he ever saw. (except Ai’s smile) His heart melted, feeling it race like a sports car. Aqua cleared his throat and turned away, trying to hide the redness creeping up to his face while Mem-cho merely giggled. “Your so charismatic, [Name]-chan.” Mem-cho teased to which Aqua sighed at, He left the area to not get embarrassed any further and went to his room, leaving a very confused [Name]. and he would probably sabotage things a bit because he doesnt want you to be an idol, being a streamer is already making you tired and he doesn’t want that.

And since then, You would always talk to him with the most giddy-est personality ever. He would reply in short answers but he enjoyed your company, he wasn’t going to say that straightforwardly to you but might as well include it.

He would enjoy the peaceful silence you both shared in benches, school cafeterias, living rooms, and so many more places!

Aqua would probably be clingy to you in private, He isn’t a fan of PDA but he would gladly let you if you would do the first move or if he’s.. ehem.. jealous.

He once saw you conversing too much with a male employee at the cinema counter since you asked to join him in the mall which he couldn’t decline at. Only to find out another person was going to spend all your time with him.

Aqua approached with the popcorn he had bought and gave one to you, glaring at the employee. You thanked him while he simply nodded.

He took your hand and intertwined it with his, which made your heart pounding like some sort of wildebeest in a stampede.

And you both enjoyed that day.

bonus:

Aqua had confessed, inside the store you both first met. The cashier looked very amused while imaginary stars appeared beside her.

“W-what..?“ You stuttered, blushing a pink hue at the sudden confession Aqua had made, since he just kind of.. said that so fast.

Aqua sighed with the tip of his ears were flaming red while his cheeks were red too. “I’m not repeating that.” He blurted out, looking away while he kept a blank expression though the color of his cheeks say otherwise.

Being his girlfriend made you realize how hard is life is, how he would risk anything just to get justice for his mother. Which he told you after a few not a few months of dating. He got comfortable around you and you would always be there to comfort him during his nightmares, And he would always be there for you whenever you get a hate comment that gets you really insecure.

To be honest, You would probably wake up one day and getting the news of the person who kept on hating on you suddenly so quiet… I wonder what your lovely red flag boyfriend did.

#oshi no ko #aqua hoshino x reader #requests open #oshi no ko x reader #aqua hoshino #aquamarine #aquamarine hoshino #ai hoshino #aqua x reader #aquamarine x reader #aquamarine hoshino x reader #ruby hoshino #mem cho #aqua hoshino x you #aqua hoshino x y/n #aquamarine hoshino x you #oshi no ko x you #oshi no ko x y/n

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martiniblues · 10 months

Text

i’d give up forever to touch you ; 이민형

pairing idol!mark x female!reader

synopsis while mark is away on tour, you find yourself looking back at old memories of you two. you have grown used to spending these moments alone while mark is gone, but little do you know he is doing the same thing miles and miles away.

genre established relationship, light angst, fluff, reader uses she!her pronouns, nicknames used for reader (pretty girl, baby) and mark (baby, pretty boy).

wc 1.8k

song : iris by the goo goo dolls

the sheets wrinkled beneath your shifting body. nearly silent crinkles filled the empty void within your room. slivers of light from the moon fell onto your restless figure, highlighting your messy hair and stretched-out shirt. you had gotten into bed at eleven; it was now three, and not a single ounce of your body felt tired.

thoughts ran wild in your brain, causing every other part of your body to feel more than alive. it’s not like this is the first time he’s had to go. with comebacks, schedules, and shows, mark was constantly on the go. most of the time, there would be two to three days in a row where the only place you would see mark was through the screen of your phone.

one time he had to be gone for a week while preparing for a new album, and looking back now, you wish you hadn’t been so dramatic. a week felt like a breeze compared to the treacherous months you were now facing without mark. not only was he physically not here with you in bed, your head rested on his chest, or vice versa, he also hadn’t texted or called all day.

at the beginning, you two constantly kept in touch, sending random photos or messages about how much you missed each other. but now with a dramatic time zone, texts fell further and further apart, which then turned into silence. you missed him more than words could explain; the t-shirt that hugged your body relived some of your sorrow, reminding you of how he had thrown it off the night before he left. giving in, you grabbed your phone from its spot next to you and opened your camera roll, clicking on your favorited photos.

some were of friends and family, but the majority were of you and mark. silly mirror photos taken when putting on face masks and spur of the moment selfies reflected back onto your face, causing your eyes to sting. maybe if it hadn’t been for the overflowing emotion you felt, the tears could be blamed on your brightness being too high, but it took no genius to know the reason. videos from picnics under sunny skies and tipsy late night games echoed in your room and settled right into your heart. silent tears continued to spill down your flushed cheeks, going unnoticed due to your full attention being on your boyfriend. you continued to scroll, stopping on a distinct image. the photo had been taken a little over a year ago.

the two of you sat on the edge of the sidewalk outside of your apartment complex. mark had a full day of schedules, giving him only the dark hours of the night to slip by your place and see you before he had to get up and do it all over again. his exhaustion quickly converted to energy after being in your arms as he stepped into your place. "dude… you’re like a human portable charger." his words were muffled due to being pressed into your neck, before he pulled back to look at you with wide eyes. "can we go for a walk?" he practically begged before lacing your fingers together and pulling you out into the chilly nighttime atmosphere.

"honestly…" you began while the two of you stepped in sync, hands still interlocked and swinging between your bodies. mark made a little hum as his head quickly turned at the sound of your voice. "i was expecting you to pass out when you came over." a breathy laugh left your lips as he continued to swing your hands. "what can i say? it’s just what you do to me, dude." the cheesy words made you both break out into giggles, never once disconnecting your hands. even when he began to wander off, your body just followed his smoothly, like it was second nature.

at this moment though, you stopped. "oh, mark you really know how to make a girl swoon, dude." your unexpected stop made him turn around as your hands became disconnected. at the sudden loss of contact, he quickly made his way back to you, as if you were miles away and not just a few steps. "baby you know i mean it as a term of endearment. i don’t just call anyone dude." his fingers made their way to your face and threaded a few careless strands behind your ear. his hand continued to slowly make its way down your neck and arm, finally re-entwining your fingers as they once were.

your body, which was once cold due to the dropping temperatures, instantly grew hot at his loving gesture. "so haechan, jisung, jeno, and practically all of your friends are on the same level as me?" you teased, tilting your head to the side and peering at your boyfriend through squinted eyes. "no dude- i mean, baby, of course not. hey, i don’t call anyone else pretty girl except you. right, pretty girl?" if there’s one thing you and mark were good at, it was getting each other flustered, and while he tended to express his a lot more than you, this nickname was one of the few gestures you couldn’t pull a poker face at.

feeling your cheeks instantly redden, you dropped your head and stared at the concrete beneath you. even with your eyes glued to the ground, you could practically see the smirk pulling at mark’s lips. "i got you good, huh?" he continued, causing your cheeks to deepen in color. using his free hand, he cupped your face so you could look right at him. "pretty girl," he teased breathlessly once more before pulling you towards him. as your lips slotted between his, you couldn’t stop the smile that pulled at the corners of your mouth. mark couldn’t hold back either, as you could clearly feel his cheek bunch up under your palm. "you finally got some game, huh, pretty boy," you joked, finally pulling back from his firm hold.

just as you did moments before, mark’s ears and cheeks instantly flushed at the new nickname. "dude stop," he whined, turning away and walking further down the street as he sulked. "oh, shut up, you big baby." you quickly got up behind him and wrapped your arms around his torso to stop his movement. mark titled his head over his shoulder to look back at you.

he could have sworn right there in that very moment that he fell in love with you. the look you had in your eyes like you held everything he ever needed within two small irises, and your hands burning straight through the thin fabric of his shirt and imprinting right into his bones. it’s not like this was the first time love came to mind. he was in love with you and had been for a long time, but in this exact moment, he found himself losing all sense of control and completely falling into you and your entire being.

his chest tightened at the memory. the afternoon sunlight covered his skin, warming him up even more than he already was. his shoulders slumped and his lips pouted ever so slightly as he scrolled through the countless candid photos he had of you. he had been stuck on a specific one for quite some time. from none other than that very night.

the two of you had paused your walk and decided to sit under a street lamp. small white flowers bloomed onto the patch of grass next to you. remembering the habit you had as a kid, you began to braid each flower with another to create a crown. maybe it was the focused expression on your face or the way the light from above you both seemed to settle around you like a halo, but mark swore if he didn’t capture you that very instant that he would regret it for the rest of his life. noticing his movements from the corner of your eye, you swiftly turned your head to catch him in the act.

his thumb pressed down on the screen, causing the photo to turn into a short clip. you had pulled an exaggerated smile at his phone before the both of you broke into a laugh, flowers still in hand. the sound of your laughter was enough to pull a small one out of him at that moment. still sitting in the bed, he reached over and grabbed his headphones from the bedside table. he knew, or rather, he thought, that you would be fast asleep during this time.

every single day had become harder and harder, even if it meant he was closer and closer to seeing you again. if it were up to him, he would book a one-way flight straight to you, even if he could only see you for a day. hell, he could buy you a ticket and fly you to him in no time, but with school and work, he did not want to stress you out even more than you already were. it’s selfish; he knows it, but he wishes you would let him be greedy and keep you by his side the whole tour.

clicking shuffle on his playlist, iris by the goo goo dolls began to drift into his ears. it’s like some higher being knew exactly how he felt and queued the song on purpose. shifting to lay flat on his back, mark stared at the ceiling and pictured that you were there with him, hand in hand, listening to this song together.

your body grew hotter the more you held back your own emotions. yanking the covers off, you situated yourself on your back and gazed upward. not being able to look anywhere else. he was all around you. from picture frames on your dresser to discarded sweatshirts on your floor, everything reminded you of him. but for mark, the only part of you he had was on his phone, and with that, you were still light years away.

a single tear sprouting from the corner of your eye, quickly lead a trail past your lips and down your neck. little did you know that mark too had a tear pool down his cheek in that exact same moment. picking up his phone and opening your texts, he quickly sent you a message.

[one audio] made me think of you and how badly i miss you man. it’s true “i’d give up forever to touch you” right now pretty girl. sleep well for me if you aren’t already. call me when you wake up no matter what time it is. i need to hear your voice. im deprived hehe :)) i love you lots and lots baby. talk to you so soon <333

note i got a tad bit carried away with this oops. but iris has been stuck in my head for days now and i also have been into more angsty reads recently so BOOM here’s this. i know it’s prob not my best work lol but i just wanted to get something out and hopefully get some feedback. if you made it this far thank you so much for reading!!

read part two here!

#mark lee #mark lee fic #mark lee imagines #mark lee scenarios #mark lee fluff #mark lee angst #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct angst #mark x reader #nct x reader #nct 127 #nct dream #nct 127 fic #nct dream fic #nct #nct mark

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ivelle-serenity · 25 days

Text

Skateboard 4

Wind breaker

author's note: interaction with Jay is now finally happening 😩👊

✧˖° — windbreaker men

✧˖° — mdni, smut, description of not safe for work content.

✧˖° — this is a story not one shot.

The next day, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened. The events of yesterday were driving me crazy, and I wanted to scream in my room. The Sabbath Crew kept popping into my mind—Wooin, Joker, and especially Jay from Hummingbird. I bit my finger while staring at the blackboard. Our physics teacher was checking our assignments. I did Dom’s assignment as promised, and I also did Jay’s. I ignored his suggestion to work on it together. There was no way I was doing that. Besides, I could handle it on my own.

But when I handed Jay his assignment, he seemed annoyed. Was he really mad at me, or was that just his usual expression?

"Is this real?" Our teacher looked up in surprise. "Dom, Jay, and Demitra got the highest scores on the assignment," he announced to the class. "All three of them tied for the highest score."

Dom’s jaw dropped as he stared at me, but I kept looking out the window. Honestly, the assignment was tough, but I managed to ace it.

"Come on, Sir! Can't you believe I have some hidden genius too?" Dom shouted, making everyone laugh.

"Well, I just can't believe anyone matched Jay's score. He always gets the highest in our class." The teacher looked at me. "It seems our new student is competing with him. This is very exciting." He grinned.

Jay kept his usual cold expression, staring at his notebook. I shrugged and started packing my things since the teacher was leaving and it was time to go home. Our classmates started making noise again as soon as the teacher left. It was like a zoo with all the ruckus they were causing. I never expected Korean students to be this loud.

I froze when I saw someone standing in front of my desk. It was Dom...

"Can we talk to you?" he asked with a sweet smile plastered on his face.

"Who's 'we'?" I replied, then noticed Jay, Mia, and Yuna also standing up.

"We saw how you ride a bike, and I gotta admit, you're really good," Dom said, stroking his chin as if deep in thought. "I don't know what happened yesterday that made Jay win when it was obvious you should have."

"Maybe Jay's just better than her," Yuna interjected, giving me a dirty look.

I smiled sarcastically. "I still don't see why you're all here in front of me."

"Join us." We all turned to Jay. His eyes were directly on mine. "Join our crew," he clarified.

I laughed, but when I realized they were serious, I laughed again.

"What is this? This is so random." I shook my head and put my notebook in my bag. "I lost, so why would I join your crew? Besides, I already did your assignments, so why—"

"Shelly's been gone for months now because of a family emergency in England. We need a rider for the cycling tournament. We're short one person for the next round. It's only temporary," Dom explained, making puppy eyes at me.

I felt like a bucket of cold water was poured over me when he mentioned Shelly's name. I had suspected she might be the Shelly I knew, and now I was right. It really was her.

I clenched my fists.

"And didn't you say that if you beat Jay, you'd join their crew? It means you really want to join—" Mia started, but I cut her off.

"Believe it or not, I was just joking back then." I looked away from them. "I didn't expect you to take it seriously. Look, I'm selling my bike because I don't use it anymore. Just find another rider or bring Shelly back." I stood up. But before I could leave, someone grabbed my arm. I looked up to see Jay staring at me with no emotion on his face.

"I'll do all your assignments this time," he uttered. "Just join us," he said firmly.

"I don't need your help."

"But we do."

I looked at him in disbelief, meeting his gaze. Okay, I had to admit, I wanted to try their tournament, but I didn't want to show my face. I knew Sangho was handling that event. He might recognize me, and I didn't want him to know I was in Korea.

"Fine," I said, and Dom, Yuna, and Mia's eyes widened as if I had said something shocking. "Don't help me with physics, just Korean," I added, looking away.

"Wow, you really don't seem like someone who struggles with our language," Mia remarked, amazed.

I gave them a small smile. "Just tell me the time of your training," I said to Jay.

"We were planning to train right now," Dom chimed in.

Oh fuck

This isn't bad, right? And it's only temporary. They just really need a player for a new match. I sighed, thinking about Shelly again. That woman... So she's Jay Jo's girlfriend. I thought they were talking about a different Shelly because there was no way that woman would come to Korea. Last time she told me, no matter how boring her life got, she wouldn't go to her mother's country.

"I really appreciate you accepting our request," Mia said suddenly as we walked out of the school. "If I could join them, I would, but I'm not really good at biking." She said sadly.

"When is Shelly supposed to come back?" I asked, looking at the parked bikes. I can't believe I kept saying I wouldn't bike, but I still use it to get to school.

"We still don't have any news from her... Actually, I'm starting to worry, especially for Jay." We both glanced at Jay, who was now putting on his helmet.

"Why?"

She swallowed. "Ever since she left, Jay hasn't had any contact with Shelly. These past few months, it's been obvious how down he's been. He really loves Shelly," she said with concern. I paused and looked at Jay Jo again.

He frowned when he noticed me staring, so I quickly looked away.

"She'll come back," I said to reassure her. I can't believe I had a crush on a guy who was Scott's boyfriend.

"YUNA, MY LOVE! CHEER FOR ME IN FRONT OF DEMITRA, OKAY? SO SHE KNOWS HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME!" Dom shouted from afar.

Disgust was written all over Yuna's face. "You're just training. What cheer are you talking about?" she rolled her eyes. Dom pouted like he was being mistreated by his girlfriend. I just grinned. They are really entertaining to watch. Why would Vinny leave this crew?

I saw Mia approach her friend Yuna. I watched them from behind as we walked, carrying my bike. I didn't know where we were going, but I just followed Dom. They seemed to have a specific place for their training.

I was surprised to see Jay walking beside me. He wasn't riding his bike either, but he was already wearing his helmet. I couldn't help but laugh. He looked cute, though. He glanced at me and raised an eyebrow.

"So... Inertia drift is your thing, huh?" I asked, surprising him. "It was impressive, I watched some videos of you racing." I said, looking at the road. I noticed we were falling behind. Dom walked really fast.

He still didn't say anything. He was like a mute.

"I also watched how you lean in." Based on what I saw, it was surprising that he could pull off that move. It wasn't an easy skill; it was dangerous.

"But your slide is a bit risky. Your grip on the bike isn't in the right position."

"What?"

And now he was finally talking.

I smiled at him. "You need to balance your body. The grip of your hand and your body should be opposite so you can slide lower. That's the technique to make the lean-in look better." I explained. I showed him how I held the bike. "And also, this is how you should hold the handlebar."

He looked confused, but then he suddenly got on his bike and tried the position I showed him. His grip still seemed wrong, so I walked over to him. I parked my bike to the side.

"I noticed from the video that this is why you almost fell. You need to widen your elbows." I moved closer and adjusted his elbow.

I narrowed my eyes as I focused on his grip, then reached out to adjust the position of his hand. Just as I lifted my head to explain, I realized he was staring right at me. My eyes widened in surprise when it hit me that I was actually holding his hand! I quickly pulled away, feeling a rush of embarrassment.

"It's fine." he muttered, causing me to feel flustered.

"So yeah. That's how you do it." I cleared my throat before stepping back a little.

He was silent for a moment. He lowered his hands while sitting on the bike. How could he look so hot?

"Did you master it before you did it in the tournament?" I asked, looking at him.

He shook his head. "No..." It was obvious.

My eyes widened. "So you did it without practice?"

"Hmm," he nodded.

"Where did you learn that, by the way?" I asked as I finally sat on my bike.

"I don't know his name." irritation plastered on his face.

"So it's a 'he'? Does he have blonde hair?" I smirked. "It was Owen, right?"

He stiffened when he heard me mention that name. His expression darkened. He seemed shocked that I knew.

"How did you know?"

"Because I'm the one who taught him that move." I said with bitterness in my voice before looking at the road.

He was silent, but I could see the amusement in his eyes. I couldn't blame him. He might be even more surprised if I told him I knew his girlfriend too. I didn't want to mention that because he might ask more questions. I don't really want to talk about them anymore.

"What's your relationship with him?" he asked suddenly.

"Just someone I know." I lied. "Why? Is he your friend?" I asked, but his face darkened even more. He looked so annoyed.

"I'll teach you about Korean after this training." he changed the topic.

"Why so sudden?" I laughed.

He stared at me for a few seconds before looking away. "Your Korean sounds lame."

"What?!"

89 notes · View notes

vibratingskull · 8 months

Note

Hello! 👋 I have a request if you don't mind. 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 Thrawn x f!reader reunion sex. F!reader was with Morgan, Bylan, Shin, and Sabine in finding Thrawn cause that's her man and she misses him and when they reunite, they have passionate alone time together 😏

Mmmmmmmmh 😋 smexy times with Thrawn, you have such good tastes anon. Plus Lars interpretation is DOING THINGS to me 😩🥵

Thrawnxf!reader

tag : reunion sex, cunnilingus, p in v sex, she/her reader and a bit of fluff

“What was first just a dream has become a frightening reality for those who may oppose us.” He casually says, closing the gap between him and the group with his signature smirk.

You straighten your back, gulping, your heart beating at 100 miles per hour.

Finally.

After ten years.

You can see him in all his glory.

Thrawn…

Your heart screams to throw yourself at him, everyone be damned, but it is a bad idea. None of them are aware of your relationship with Thrawn, you took great care in hiding that from them. This info is too sensitive to be known by anyone. Morgan would have tried to get rid of you if she knew, her thirst for power and glory pushing her to follow and obey Thrawn in all matters, but she’s not without deviances and you don’t trust her enough, Thrawn didn’t trust her enough either to reveal your relationship to her back in the Empire.

But you, you know her.

She always struck you as an odd choice for Thrawn to take as a protégé… She always lacked the genius he saw in Vanto and Faro, maybe it’s her undying loyalty that resembles obsession that pleased him? You doubt it. He surely only took her under his wings to know more about the Force and fight the jedis more efficiently.

“Great mothers, I salute you. Soon we should all escape this exile thanks to the help of Morgan Elsbeth.”

Oh that voice… so soft and melodic like in your memories. How much you yearned to hear it again. It makes you want to run into his arms and hug him tightly, to jump in his embrace and kiss him deeply.

But that would be stupidly dangerous. Elsbeth is too savage and you don’t feel those… Great Mothers. Something tells you they are the kind to exploit any weakness.

The discussion continues while your eyes remain on your man, your treasure, your cha’cah… He’s old. He seems tired and weary, his uniform is patched up. The weight of years really makes itself felt despite his haughty demeanor.

But to you he’s never been so handsome.

Nothing could compare to him and the moment of your reunion.

This instant is magic, timeless. A fairy tale. You feel light bubbles in your stomach. But you have one lingering fear…

“And you are?” he asks Baylan, clasping his hand behind his back as you remember him doing.

“Mercenaries” Morgan explains “Baylan Skoll, and his apprentice Shin Hati.” She presents them, they bow lightly to him, remaining humble. “And (Y/n)(F/n), but I think you already know her.”

You take a step forward and bow respectfully to him, a sour taste in your mouth. What if his sentiment faded during this ten years exile? What if he found comfort in the arms of one of his stormtroopers? What if you’re just too old for him now?

You look into his eyes as you raise back your head, he glares back at you with a light grin.

“I do remember. We used to work closely to defeat the enemy of the Empire together.”

“Indeed, Grand Admiral.” You nod humbly.

Oh to be close, you were close. As close as you can be. He takes his time to gauge you up and down with his little grin before turning back to Baylan.

“Then you must be General Baylan Skoll, of the Jedi order.”

----------------------------------------------------

You're fidgeting your fingers, laying on the bed.

You can’t sleep.

You’re well awake under the covers, eyes fixated on the stone ceiling of the cold room, mulling over your situation.

You find him! A hunt of ten years just ended, and you hoped for… more? Just after finishing the presentations Thrawn and Morgan locked themself in a room to strategize your next moves. Baylan, Shin and you were left arms dangling without anything to do. You tried to access the Chimaera to visit your old room but the captain, Enoch, stopped you and escorted you back to the stone citadel without a word.

You’re not welcome in the Chimaera anymore it seems.

Are your fears correct?

Did he find someone else?

You sigh deeply, turning in the cover again.You try not to think too much about it, you wished you could ask him for an explanation but each time you tried to enter the room a soldier stopped you. And you don’t think he would have appreciated to be disturbed in his brainstorming session for heart matters.

You bite your lips, feeling tears building behind your eyes. Even after ten years that still hurts like hell. You hoped for an explosive reunion, but you got a nod and a grin before getting ignored and relegated to a goon status. If only you could just cross path with him in the corridors, just one discussion to clear the air and know your situation for certain, if only-

You hear knocks at your door.

You raise your head. It’s almost 3am, who would come at this hour?

“Coming!” You shout, praying for it not to be Enoch with bad news.

You open your door to Thrawn, hands behind his back, and a serious gaze.

“Oh…” That’s all you can say, you thought he was already sleeping.

Apparently the session with Morgan only ended moments ago.

“May I enter?” he politely asks.

You step to the side, signaling him your permission. He enters slowly, like he’s discovering the room. You close the door and cross your arms, as much to protect you from the cold than to protect yourself from what he could throw at you.

“Is something wrong?” you ask, a little anxious.

He spins on himself, turning to you.

“Nothing is wrong, dear. Nothing has ever been this brighter in ten years.”

You smile a bit, nodding.

“Yeah, I guess finally seeing your rescue group must lift a heavy weight off your shoulders.”

“It is true. But I was not referring to that.” he counters. “Approach.”

You tilt your head, walking toward him. He extends his hand to you and you take it, wondering what he wants. He inspects your left hand and a smile graces his lips.

“You are still wearing your wedding ring.” you think you hear some relief in his tone but you can’t be sure.

“Yes. I kept it for all those years.” you admit.

“Does it still have value in your eyes?” he asks suddenly.

“What do you mean?” you frown.

“Your ring. Does it still hold any meaning to your heart?” he demands with gleaming eyes.

After a hesitation you nod.

“Yes. Yes it does.”

He looks into your eyes, as to see if you were lying and sighs of relief.

“You ease my heart.” he takes his left hand from behind his back into your hand, revealing his own ring “I kept mine too. It reminded me of you everyday.” He kisses your hand reverently.

You observe his ring on his finger, feeling your heart dilating with relief.

He didn’t forget you…

“Thank Maker.” you whisper, closing your eyes.

“Cha’cah.” you reopen your eyes, feeling his warm palms on your cheek “I am blissful to see you. I missed you terribly.”

“I missed you too.” you throw yourself in his arms, circling him tightly.

He squeezes you against his heart, kissing the top of your head.

“I am here, cha’cah. And I am not going anywhere this time.”

You raise your gaze to meet his, full of hope.

“You promise?” you hear your voice crack “I already lost you once, I won’t survive losing you a second time.”

“I promise cha’cah. From now on we will remain together, fight together, rule together…” he tries to appease you.

“I don’t care about ruling anybody, it’s you that I want!” You bury yourself against him, digging your nails in the fabric of his white uniform like he would evaporate. You don’t care about any powers, all you came here for is to bring him home, you will think about power after.

“You are right as always. I am sorry. This is the most important.” He murmurs as he buries his head in the crook of your neck, deeply inhaling your scent.

He looms over you with his height, shielding you with his large shoulders. You start hearing a faint purr as he breathes in your musk.

“You smell lovely.” he finally says after a minute of silence.

“Yeah right!” you giggle “I’m sweaty and there aren't any showers here.”

“Well it is lovely nonetheless.” He inhales again with a growl of satisfaction “It is doing things to me…” he sighs deeply satisfied.

He starts kissing your exposed neck as you chuckle.

“Doing things to you? What happened to my unshakable Grand Admiral?”

“Maybe the unshakable Grand Admiral would like to revel in your delights.” he says lowly, pushing you gently against a wall.

You’re pressed between the cold stone and the large wall that is his chest, he kisses your neck, your jaw, stops to devour you with his red gaze and finally kisses your lips. You close your eyes to savor it, opening your mouth to let him enter. His tongue passes past your lips to hug and dance with yours. You moan against his soft lips, indulging yourself in the languorous kiss. His purr grows louder, a hand in your hair to press your lips against his, his other hand snakes its way in your back to pull your body against his. You circle his shoulders with your arm, a hand passing in his hair, dishevelling him. The kiss became heavy and feverish, his hands sliding under your shirt, caressing your bare skin with his warm palm. You part with him to start unbuttoning his jacket with haste, barely containing your desire to simply tear it apart to gain access to his body. Thrawn chuckles darkly.

“I do not remember you so hasty.”

“We didn’t have 10 years to compensate.” you counter, you wince because a stupid button refuses to open.

He kisses your forehead tenderly and opens it for you, taking his sweet time deliberately.

“I don’t wanna play tonight.” you say between a plea and an order.

“You are right, this is cruel of me.”

He finishes to open his jacket at a more acceptable pace and take it off, leaving himself in his signature black tank top.

“Maker, your taste in fashion hasn't evolved in ten years.” you giggle.

He sighs and tackles your feet. You yelp in surprise, losing your balance but he catches you with expert hands and carries you bridal style to your basic bed. He lays you down, looming over you like a predator and kisses you again, pulling your shirt over your breast and sliding your bra under it to expose your sensitive tits. He lapps them avidly, licks across the mount and sucks them like he would gulp down a treat, groping them with his large warm hands. You whimper and arch your back under his ministrations, how right does it feel to feel him on you again…

He kisses your tit and passes to the other, giving it the same treatment while massaging the first one. Your breath gets stuck in your throat and you feel your pussy starting to leak with your slick and soaking your undergarment. You want his lips and hands everywhere on you at the same time, you want to feel the weight of his body on yours, pining you into place, you want him deep inside you.

“Hurry… Please hurry…” you whimper as his tongue works on your nipple.

“No.'' He berates you gently “I have been deprived of you for so long, let me enjoy it as I please.” He slowly trails his way down your stomach with his tongue, leaving a trail of fresh saliva from your breast to your tummy. He reaches the hem of your pants and takes a good lick at your venus mons with the flat of his tongue. He kisses it swiftly and opens your pants with deft hands.

“First, let me indulge myself in my favorite treat.” he says with a short breath, a rare visible sign of his excitement.

You try to raise your bust on your elbow to have a better view when he slides your panties to the side to gain access to your wet cunny. He blows on it lightly, letting the cold hair hit your sensitive bud. You whine, your pussy demanding attention urgently. He chuckles and kisses your pussy lips before taking a fat sloppy lick with the flat of his tongue. You throw your head backward with a moan as he licks and laps you thoroughly, he focuses on your clit, sucking it and flicking his tongue, giving it extra intention, eating you out as good as you remember him doing. Maker, in ten years he didn’t lose his touch, you feel yourself getting wetter and wetter. He looks straight into your eyes as he does it, unashamed, growling like a carnivore feasting on its prey. You inadvertently squeeze his head in the spasm of your thighs, his large hands come part them wide open to give him better access. You flush deeply, taking shallow breath you feel yourself trembling terribly as pleasure waves spread through your veins. He continues to tease you like a hungry man, unbothered by your trembling limbs locking his head in its place. The waves grow furious and you come on his face. You let yourself fall on the mattress, tired and ashamed.

“I’m sorry…” you whine between two gasps.

“Never apologize for that. It is exactly what I wanted and you delivered splendidly.” he purrs, working his tongue on your fold. Drinking your slick, he parts your folds and enters you and tonguefuck you thoroughly, darting and caressing your gummy spot so deliciously.

You didn’t know any other man during those ten years, you stayed faithful to him and rarely took the matter in your own hands because you were so busy working to get him back. Those ten years of abstinence got you so sensitive that one orgasm already took a toll on your delicate pussy. You grip his hair and face, trying to pull him off you but he doesn’t budge, remaining firmly in place.

“Thrawn… please…” you try.

“That is it. Call my name cha’cah, do not hesitate to scream it as you cum.” he coos, his swollen lips working on yours all puffy and soft.

You try to wiggle out of his grip but he holds down your hips firmly with a growl of disapprobation, warning you to never deprive him of your cunny. He purposely makes the most obscenes sounds to get you hot and bothered, to let you know that it is because of you he behaves like a rabid animal in heat, that he tossed both of your dignities to indulge in the sinful pleasures of the flesh. You moan under his skillful tongue, you are hypersensitive and already sore, how could you take another orgasm without shattering in a million pieces? Your pussy clench painfully over his tongue, you feel your muscles gorging themself with hot blood and puffing up.

“I missed that pussy.” He groans “You have no idea how much. Ten years without it was torture.”

“It… It wasn’t funny without you either.” you breathe.

“We will make up for it tonight, cha’cah. Do not worry about that.”

Oh you don’t worry about that, you worry about your spasming cunt. You feel your heart beating at max speed, ready to spring out of your ribcage. You feel your own blood beat furiously down in your core.

You come again, a powerful orgasm that tenses up all your muscles. You squirt in his mouth as you land on the mattress with a “oof”.

“Prodigious, cha’cah! You have done it!” He praises you, you can hear the warmth and the satisfaction in his voice and deep purr as he licks his lips hungrily. Thrawn adorns a smug smirk of making you cum two times. He kisses your clit and looms over you again, kissing you deeply, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

He places himself between your legs, raising up on his knees to take off his shirt and open his pants. You wearily push yourself in a sitting position to get rid of all your clothes sticky and full of sweat. You help him with his pants, seeing the bulge in the tight fabric. It must be painful for him, you think. He frees his erection and you take it in your hand, stroking it lazily and kissing its head. You lick his blue girth from the base to the tip, peppering kisses here and there. He inhales deeply, his head back, caressing your cheek. you take him in your mouth and circle his crown with your tongue. It is warm and heavy in your mouth, it makes you drool. You taste the saltiness of his pre-cum. You start bobbing your head when he gently pulls you off. You look at him without understanding, pouting like a child who just got denied a tasty candy.

“What you are doing with your mouth is delightful, cha’cah. But I want my cock inside your pussy as soon as possible.” He rasps.

You open your eyes wide.

In your pussy? No way.

You’re already so sore, he can’t be serious.

“Thrawn…” you whine “I can’t take another one…”

He gently pushes you back on the mattress, following you with a smirk.

“Of course you can, cha’cah. You are a big girl, you can take it and more. I trust you.” he licks and kisses your neck, weighing heavy on your more petite figure. You feel so safe under his warm, hot body.

He circles your waist with his arms and rolls on the side, pulling you on top of him.

“Ride me, my love. Take control.” He instructs.

You feel his dick poking at the plumpness of your ass, hard as a rock. You cry, your legs are already trembling, you don’t know if you can even ride him properly. You sigh and tiredly raise from your laying position to grasp him and align him with your sex. You ease yourself slowly on him, opening your mouth round at the full sensation.

Maker, he’s big! You forgot how much.

You’re stuffed to the brim, you can’t take more. His hands come caressing your waist to ease your muscles.

“You are doing great, cha’cah. Ride me as you please, what you want I will give.” He praises you.

You rise up and go down slowly, letting your slick act as a lubricant and it’s hardly a luxury given his girth. You breathe deeply through your nose and continue to ride him slowly, making circling motion with your hips. He can reach every spot with ease, you feel his tip brushing your cervix, deep inside you. You moan his name pathetically, your legs are barely working and you have difficulty raising your own weight on his shaft.

“Maker, were you always so tight?” he gasps with gleaming eyes.

You ride him sloppily as best you can, with Thrawn seizing your waist to help your motion, caressing you with his thumbs. He starts rutting into you delicately, but you can feel his eagerness bubbling under his skin. Despite that he respects the pace you choose.

When you reach the end of your rope you fall on him, gasping for air. He hugs you tight, kissing the top of your head while rutting deep inside you, one hand between your two bodies to caress your clit. You can’t move anymore, you really should work on your stamina, you think with a tired smile, letting him work. Your sore pussy is stretched to the max, your pussylips are all swollen and your abused clit is all puffy and nervous. You feel your inner muscle working to welcome his cock deep inside you, so much you feel waves in your stomach. His veiny shaft stretches you deliciously.

“Can I take the lead?” He softly asks.

You nod with a mumble, exhausted.

He makes you roll swiftly, getting on top of you again and installs a breakneck pace all of the sudden. He knocks the air out of your lungs, hitting your cervix with ease.

“Ha! Thrawn!” You manage to speak between two powerful thrusts.

“Hold on to me, cha’cah.” He indicates, panting, pressing himself against you and merely suffocating you.

Your head hits the headboard repeatedly, as you hold on to Thrawn for dear life. The scent of sex and his musk makes your head spin and the obscene noises of flesh hitting flesh resonate in the bedroom in an obsessing fashion. You gasp and mewls and whimper and sob, digging your nails in his large shoulders, his imposing figure shielding you completely. You let your gaze travel south and see how his cock disappears inside your body, a creamy O at the base of his shaft.

He rolls his hips like a jackhammer, pushing you into the mattress like it was nothing. You fear the bed will break, it’s clearly not made to bear such activities.

“It is so good, cha’cah. It is better than in my memories. Is it good for you too?” he asks, biting your lower lips.

“Yes, yes, yes…” you can only chant.

He plunges into you with force, at this point you’re more of a fleshlight he uses than an active participant. But you’re so exhausted, and the pleasure you feel is so great it stiffen your limbs, preventing you from moving. You feel your poor pussy getting abused, hit repeatedly by his mighty hips.

Despite his age, he really still got it.

It transports you back in time, with your younger self making love all night long, with him nuzzling against you, begging for another round while you just layed barely moving from exhaustion. In some way it is still the same, your older self just lasted less time.

You feel your pussy clenching on his cock again, and you just know you completely soaked up the sheets. You feel your slick and his pre-cum leaking of your cunny, running along your tight ass.

He holds your cheek tenderly and kisses you feverishly, muffling your mewls with his soft lips. His tongue comes to hug yours, languidly.

You cry his name as you cum again, seeing stars behind your closed eyes, tensing around his dick like it is trying to hold it deep inside, he kisses your cheek, purring loudly, clearly satisfied by his work.

His hips start jerking and moving erratically until he freezes, completely contracted, spurting long hot ribbons of seed in you. Your pussy milks him dry for all his worth.

He peppers your face with kisses, as you try to get back your breath.

“Can I remain inside? I want to enjoy you as long as I can.” he whispers in your ear.

You slowly nod, repressing a yawn.

He slides on the side, hugging you tight. You snuggle against him, your head against his beating heart.

“It was grandiose, was it not, cha’cah?” he kisses your forehead “I could go for another round if you wish?”

You hide your face in his chest with a pathetic whine.

“Alright.” He chuckles, “as you wish, my love."

You remain silent for long minutes, only listening to each other breathing. You draw circle on his wide chest with the tip of your finger before taking the floor.

"You're gonna find it stupid, but I was afraid you'd find someone else." You let out.

"Nobody could have taken your place, you are unique in my heart." Thrawn whispers back.

"Yet when Enoch refused me access to the Chimaera I thought our time was over." You turn your head to meet his gaze.

His hand comes grazing your cheek.

"I had to do… reforms to keep my troops alive. It was not against you. I will warn Enoch to give you free access to the ship first thing in the morning." He comforts you.

You pull the cover a bit over the both of you, thinking.

"I don't like Morgan." you let out "I don't trust her."

"Me neither. But she is a necessary evil to my plans."

"Necessary to the point of isolating yourself with her for hours?"

He gives you a sidelong glance with a smirk.

"Did you become jealous during those ten years?" he asks, amused.

"Yes, terribly. I want to know what you do with her." you demand.

"We simply planned our next campaign. I would like your opinion on some moves tomorrow, I trust your strategic abilities more than hers." He boops your nose and you wince exaggeratedly.

You remember the long hours you used to spend together, strategizing carefully each move, he asked your advices regularly, taking your opinions and suggestions very seriously despite his genius. You ended up sleeping at your desk several time but he would carry you to your shared bed and hug you tight... Those were simpler, nicer times.

You smile, looking in his magnificent red eyes.

"I love you, Thrawn." you murmur, eyes heavy with sleep.

"I love you, Ch'acah." He kisses your forehead "Sleep well."

@thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar @thrawnspetgoose @bluechiss

#thrawn x reader #thrawn x f!reader #thrawn x you #thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #mitth’raw’nuruodo #fanfic #vibratingskull #thrawn smut

249 notes · View notes

fairybinie · 2 years

Text

drunk words // k.th

wc: 1.4k genre: fluff warnings: mentions of alcohol, y/n’s a lil drunky drunk, pet names, kissing

taglist: @iyeonjuni @odxrilove @iuwon @ijhyo @cherr-y-eji @ameliesaysshoo @enhacolor @misscalcutta @cherrybeomgyu @wccycc @hyukabean @strawberri-uyu @hyuntaena @feyregels @boba-beom @loverhyunn @ericyjun @tyungun @ashxxkook @bibinnieposts @laylasbunbunny @shiguresohmas @notdrunkbutdazed @stepout-09-15 @ox1-lovesick @soobsdior @ifwtyun @peachy-yabbay

a/n: this was supposed to turn out shorter but i couldn’t get this taehyun out of my head 😵‍💫 a special something for @sunlightwoo <33

…

“taehyun,” you slur without a care in the world.

“yeah?” the boy responds with a monotone voice. he’s used to all your antics tonight.

“can we go to disneyland?” taehyun was about to question if you were being serious, but the wishful look you have in your eyes prove otherwise.

you were being dead serious.

“we can’t go to disneyland, y/n.”

almost like a child who couldn’t get what they want, your eyebrows furrow together as your lips begin to quiver, turning into a frown soon after. taehyun sighs to himself, still allowing you to play with his fingers as your legs are wrapped onto his. “it’s nearly midnight, love.” taehyun sees that the response wasn’t enough for you, your eyes indicating that he should go on, as if that wasn’t reason enough.

“and we live in seoul.”

earlier this evening you were out with your friends, a formal dinner at their house to celebrate their recent promotion. a full course meal accompanied by a few drinks.

few for them, but not few for you.

you’ve never had a drink before, and you felt almost ashamed at your age to have never had a sip of alcohol. there was no peer pressure involved, of course everyone is too grown for that, but that voice inside your head was doing all the teasing instead. you had to give it a try. you were disgusted by the first taste, attempting to hide your gag reflex. one drink led to another and next thing you know, you downed three bottles of soju.

you were absolutely wasted.

you were dropped off to your shared apartment with your boyfriend, courtesy of your best friend, who was everyone’s designated driver for the night. you were barely able to function on your own, which caused you to bump into your flower pots a few times. taehyun, who had been organizing his binder, heard the commotion outside and decided to give it a look. in all honesty, he thought a cat was causing trouble in the yard, but one opening of the door he was soon mistaken.

he didn’t know how to react. it was obvious, you were drunk. the pink colors swelling all over your face, the mumbling of a bunch of ridiculous phrases, the fazed look in your eyes. maybe he, a genius, could put it together. the fact that you were leaning on your friend with all your might could give it away to anybody else.

your friend explained the situation, almost with an apologetic tone. they had to deal with you the whole night, the drive back to your place. after sending you off with taehyun, you were his problem now.

and a problem you were.

as soon as you step foot inside, you wanted to do everything. you attempted to climb onto the counter to do who knows what, taehyun stopping you immediately. he settled to sit you both down onto the couch, and you soon began to ramble about what happened tonight. how you’ve never had alcohol before and you must be a lightweight considering after one bottle you were already a goner. taehyun couldn’t help but be amused, finding your antics quite astonishing. he’s still concerned, again, due to the fact that you’ve never drank. he needs to take care of you, because you’re soon going to regret your decisions the next day.

now, here you were, sitting on his lap as you intertwined your fingers with his, legs spread in front of him. saying all the nonsense you could come up with.

it was only ten minutes, but it felt like a lifetime.

“boo,” you groan with a roll of your eyes. “you’re no fun.”

taehyun continues to let you do whatever, thinking of what to do next in his head. you were out of ibuprofen, you already drank the water bottle he gave you. the only thing you needed now was rest. you on the other hand, were too persistent to remain in your current position.

taehyun doesn’t even notice that you’ve been staring at him, concerned that he missed something.

“what’s wrong, hun?” a slight frown on his face, checking your forehead with his hand in case a sickness already came over you.

“are you dating anyone?” you roll your sentence out slowly, eyeing him flirtatiously as you gaze down onto his lips.

oh you’ve lost it.

taehyun can’t even laugh anymore, concluding that you’re officially gone for the night. all he can do is play along, though he’s not too energized to do it.

“i am,” he sighs as he looks at you, wanting to get his sober partner back. “they’re kind of an idiot though.”

your lips form to a pout as you place a finger onto his cheek, wanting his dimple to reappear. taehyun finds you to be adorable in this moment, and decides to give you the service you've been waiting for, the dimple finally being apparent. you move your finger down to his chin, facing his head up to look at you more clearly. you kiss him, not to your full ability, because you are barely in any control of your body right now. your boyfriend kisses you back, he could never reject a kiss from you, even when you reek of alcohol. you feel him secure his hands around you more tightly, all of a sudden feeling like the kiss was up in the clouds. until you realize, however, that you two were off the couch.

you open your eyes to see taehyun carrying you bridal style up the stairs, unaware that you two ever left your spot. “where are we going?”

taehyun chuckles as he opens the next door. “to get you to bed.”

the next few moments he helps you undress into a new pair of clothes, confused about which he should choose, he ultimately decides to dress you into his clothes, something you’ll question tomorrow morning. he assists you with your night routine, and before you know it, you’re back into the comfort of your own bed. you’re feeling slightly better, as if washing your face cooled you back to reality. still, you’re off the screws.

“tyunnie,” you speak quietly, with a soft hint. he melts at the nickname, only allowing you to ever give him adorable names like that. he can only return the favor.

“yeah, hun?”

you scoot over to him closer, resting your head on his chest as you wrap your arms around his side. taehyun shuffles in his place to get comfortable, having his hand comfort your back in smooth motions.

“i’m drunk,” you mumble into his clothes.

taehyun lets out a belly laugh, feeling yourself smile into his embrace. he pats your arm and pulls you even closer, as if you weren’t already. “i know you are, baby.”

“have you heard about how drunk words are sober thoughts?” you ask nonchalantly as you play with the strings of his shorts.

taehyun is thrown off by the shift in discussion, wondering where this will go. mostly wondering if you’re going in a deep route, or in another unserious road, which you’ve done too much tonight.

“yeah, i’ve heard about that,” he responds softly, playing with your hair as he strokes each strand.

“mmm,” you bring your head to rest on the crook of his neck, settling yourself into a final position.

“i love you.”

taehyun could’ve sworn his heart stopped beating, questioning if his pulse still exists. you've been dating for a while now, but you’ve never said those words yet. he blinks repeatedly to get a grip of what you just said, trying to figure out what he should do. you're drunk, but you did just mention the phenomenon that is drunk words and sober thoughts. did you mean it? you surely must have.

taehyun notices that you’ve stopped motioning, only to assume that you’ve knocked out. just to be sure, he checks by pulling away slightly to look down at you, only to be proven that you were in fact, asleep. the soft breathing of yours can be heard, each breath having some of your hair rest on your face. you were like an angel. taehyun returns back to his position, smiling to himself as he places a kiss onto your head, brushing the strands of hair behind your ear. he shuts his eyes closed and can only anticipate the next morning.

“i love you too.”

1K notes · View notes

macbethsymphony · 17 days

Note

CHARLOU!!!!! BB!!!! I'm so glad you're doing this! As you know it's my bday in 2 days! Can I request something small, a drabble or something with my boy? You know the one, the prettiest scientist out there, my beautiful gas giant! THE ONE AND ONLY CAESAR CLOWN!!! Pretty please~ (Again, so fucking proud bb ily)

-M✨

MILLIE!!!!! BB!!! Anything for you my love! I'm a day late but you already knew that! Happy birthday 💕 It... ahem... evolved into a full fic, cause I love you like that. I know you hate y/n so 'little one' it is for you! Barely proofread and finished it high on Nyquil, so forgive the mistakes. Hope you enjoy, you horndog!!!

Choke

Caesar Clown x Female Reader

wc: 3.4k

warnings: NSFW, 18+, MDNI, pure smut, nonexistent plot, handjob, oral, face riding, choking, p in v intercourse, size difference, not proofread, no beta, just good old scientific brilliance and bad decisions

Summary: You knew your taste in men was questionable at best, downright bad most of the time. But Caesar fucking Clown, now that was an all-time low, even for you. Still, how could you resist the pretty scientist? It was truly an impossible task.

You knew your taste in men was questionable at best, downright bad most of the time. But Caesar fucking Clown, now that was an all-time low, even for you. You were willing to acknowledge your shoddy track record, unashamed of it really, but the unequivocal stares of disapproval Nami shot your way every time your eyes traveled to the scientist most definitely stung your ego.

You flipped a page of his research, trying your best to understand the complex jargon neatly written down. It surpassed your knowledge and not only by a small margin. The man was a genius, an overdramatic morally bankrupt asshole too, yes, but a genius nonetheless.

Scientist to scientist, you had to admit you understood the reasoning behind his actions, the incessant red tape of ethics was, after all, often a deterrent to progress. But still… those test subjects… children? You’d never stoop so low.

Or so you liked to think. Maybe you were putting yourself on a moral pedestal. Who knew, you guessed. After all, it was not like your research had ever been important enough for a warlord to hover over you. Who knew to what lengths you’d go to if that’d happen? Though you still hoped you would never go so far.

Your tired stare left the complex equations for a second, looking at the man in question, sitting on the floor next to you. You leaned back in your chair, gaze studying the bored expression on his face.

Despite your better judgment, you couldn’t help but notice how pretty he was in the afternoon sun. The softness of his features was an interesting contrast to his usual boastful condescending smile. It was a rare moment where you could look at him in the eyes. He usually neck-breakingly towered over you. Hell, even sitting at your feet he was still considerably taller than you.

With a sigh, you went back to the incomprehensible data. You didn’t understand shit.

“Caesar.” You swallowed down your pride. “Care to explain this part to me?” You surveyed the deck, noting the incessant activity. “Perhaps away from this circus.”

You watched as he processed your words, his gaze shifting from boredom to mild interest as he considered. Then his manic laughter hit your ears softly.

“What is it?” He asked, cocking his head to the side, condescension thick in his voice. “Too complicated for you, little one?”

Your heart skipped a beat. Skipped a fucking beat.

You suddenly stood. Fucking beautiful bastard. You felt your cheeks heat up slightly at the sight. The way his hair flowed and framed his face, the easy smile on his lips, the amusement in his amber eyes. You quickly hit his head with the papers in your hands in reproach, an impulsive attempt to hide the pink plastering your face.

“You know damn well you’re smarter than I, Caesar Clown,” you shouted over your shoulder as you stomped to the privacy of the aquarium. “Are you coming or not?” You held open the door impatiently.

His laughter redoubled, but nonetheless, he stood up and followed. As he passed you, bending over to pass the doorframe, the floating fabric of his coat brushed against you, sending a shiver you desperately tried to suppress right to your core.

Caesar's towering frame dominated the small room as you headed to the hidden bar at its center. The soft ambient light from the aquarium’s large windows cast a serene glow over the glasses you retrieved, filling them with amber liquid. You downed the contents, letting the alcohol burn its way down your throat, washing away the chaos of your thoughts temporarily. You filled it back up before settling yourself on the banquette.

You observed the scientist as he leaned against the wall, crossing his arms with a smug grin, thinly veiling his excitement. "So, what part of my brilliant work is baffling you?" he asked, his tone dripping with self-satisfaction.

You rolled your eyes, but the corners of your mouth betrayed a hint of a smile. It was cute, how thrilled he was to talk about his research. "This section here," you said, pointing to the page filled with complex equations and chemical notations. "Your derivations seem to assume certain constants that I don't recognize. Care to enlighten me?"

Caesar's grin widened as he sauntered next to you, peering over at the page in your hands. You could sense the heat radiating from his body, he smelled like a laboratory, almost antiseptic. You liked it, it was somehow comforting and it took all your willpower to maintain your composure.

"Ah, I see," he murmured, his voice low and close. The seriousness of his tone surprised you. You’d expected condescending laughter, not an actual answer. It made your heart beat. Fast. You could feel his breath on your skin as he explained. "These constants are unique to the gas properties I've synthesized. They're not something you'd find in standard scientific literature."

You peered up at him, your gaze bright with a million questions. "And why is that? What makes them so special?"

Caesar's eyes sparkled with excitement. "Because, little one, they are the result of my own genius. A proprietary blend of compounds that I alone have perfected."

Despite yourself, you couldn't help but be drawn in by his passion for his work. It was clear that, beneath his arrogant exterior, Caesar was deeply committed to his research. And, in a way, you admired that.

Hours had dragged on, he was still speaking, lost in complex arrays of numbers that no longer meant anything to you. You were barely listening anymore. Hell, who were you kidding, you’d lost track of his explanations ages ago. He was so pretty, the excitement in his eyes made his whole face light up.

You downed the remnants of your glass, trying to come back to reality.

“Say, Caesar, do you like women?” The words left your mouth without your mind registering. Fucking liquid courage. Your heart sank as you awaited his teasing, the unsteady rhythm loud in your ears.

He froze.

Oh.

That was a nice expression on his face. Blushing and wide-eyed. You wondered if it would be the same if you made him cum. Would he whimper and beg as your fingers tightened around his cock? Gods, now you just HAD to know.

“M-me?” He stuttered instinctively slumping to the floor, the chains at his wrists rattling as he pointed to himself.

Your mouth curved into a sly smirk. You leaned forward, then stood up. For once you towered over him. You reached out to his jawline in a fleeting touch, tracing his chin, tilting his face so he looked at you. You stepped closer, feet between his legs, eyes blown by lust as you met his gaze, impulse taking over your very being. You knew this was a shitty idea, but who cared.

“I don’t see anyone else here, Caesar,” you were close now, your breath almost mingling with each other’s. “You can stop me if you want.” Your hand danced lower, his throat bobbing against cool fingers. “I won’t mind.”

But he didn’t stop you.

You placed a chaste kiss against his cheek, then his lips, giving him all the time in the world to oppose.

“What do you say, Caesar?” You cocked your head to the side, inviting him in.

His breath hitched, then his laughter started to nervously echo off the walls, gaining confidence with each chuckle. He leaned into you, his whispery laughter touching your mouth as the glint in his gaze slowly matched your hunger.

Your lips met his once again, silencing him with a yearning you hadn't realized was simmering beneath the surface. His laughter melted into a raspy moan as he responded eagerly, moving against you in a desperate dance of desire. Your tongue dragged along him, teeth sinking into the soft flesh of his lower lip, begging for more.

Your tongues tangled. You lost yourself in the heat of the moment, the taste of him intoxicating, a heady blend of scientific brilliance and bad decisions. Everything about him was massive in comparison to you, he was filling your mouth in ways that were unknown to you. It was nearly overwhelming, and it would be were he not so hesitant.

Your fingers tangled in his hair almost roughly as you leaned into him. The chains at his wrists rattled as his hands went to your waist, gloved digits inching up your shirt. That wouldn’t do. You wanted, no, needed, to feel his skin against yours. You pulled away, lidded gaze tracking the strand of saliva that connected the both of you for a moment.

“So pretty,” you whispered, your hands leaving his hair, traveling down his chest, pushing aside fabric, his coat dropping off of his shoulders, catching at the crease of his elbows. Your hands went to his, still at your side, and brought them to your face. They were so fucking big, long fingers dwarfing your own. You placed a soft kiss to his palm before biting on the tip of his glove and tugging it off.

His gaze never strayed from yours, his pupils blowing larger with each passing moment. You tugged off the second glove and settled them back to where they’d been, flesh finally meeting flesh. It made you want to roll your eyes in satisfaction, melt into him. But gods, you needed more. So much more.

The tips of your fingers slowly teased the hem of your shirt up before discarding it in a quick motion, your bra unashamedly following suit.

You dropped to your knees. You silently cursed the sea stone shackles preventing you from stripping him fully. Your hand traveled up his thigh, fabric bunching as your nails dug in slightly. He gasped, eyes blown with lust as you roamed closer to the extremely obvious tightness in his jumpsuit. Your other hand settled on his heart for a fleeting moment, savoring the subtle beat beneath your palm. Ever so slowly your fingers wrapped against the zipper tab, dragging it down and revealing pale skin.

You looked up at him through your lashes as you traced along his v-line, relishing the shudder in his breath as you palmed his hard-on through his underwear.

“Already so hard?” You teased, inching the elastic of his boxers down, freeing his cock. The hand you had on his thigh went to his hand and guided it to your breast, urging him to pinch and squeeze. “Who knew you were so desperate, Caesar Clown?” You brushed a bead of precum over his tip before wrapping your fingers around him.

Fuck he was big. Your fingers couldn’t close around him. You brought your other hand to his cock, twisting in opposite directions as you worked him up and down tantalizingly slow.

“Fuck,” he moaned, arching his back and bucking his hips in a frantic attempt for more.

The blush on his cheeks, his parted lips, the way his body steadily unraveled beneath your touch, it all sent an intense desire between your legs. You smiled, squeezing a little harder as you traveled to his tip. A whimper escaped him and it tasted sweeter than honey to your ears. His hand dropped from your breast to your waist, then to your thigh and to your core. The tips of his fingers found your soaked underwear, pushing it to the side and meeting your slick.

You felt him trace your slit, the pad of his thumb circling your clit as he entered two fingers into you, pumping in and out slowly. For an instant your eyes rolled to the back of your skull, your breath catching in pleasure. They felt so different from yours, stretching you and reaching to places you couldn’t. Your hands stuttered in their movement.

His laughter touched your ears. “You’re quite desperate yourself, little one,” he stated between two grunts.

You smirked, your attention brought back to him. The cheeky bastard. You picked a faster pace, each stroke precise as you sought to make him eat his words.

He broke into a wanton moan, his fingers stopping inside of you at the overwhelming sensation. Your hips rolled in tandem, instinctively searching for your own release. It wasn’t enough to get you off but the way your clit grazed on his palm, smearing arousal all over his hand made your breath shudder along his.

“So good for me.” You brushed against his tip, gathering more precum still leaking from him, coating him, your palms slick as you continued with more fervor.

His hips thrust up, trying to match your pace, mewls and incomprehensible begs escaping his lips. His body convulsed as he came, thick ropes of cum spilling onto his abdomen. You didn’t stop, maintaining the strokes up and down his cock, prolonging his orgasm. One of your hands left him to rejoin his hand at your core, increasing the pressure of his palm against your clit as you rutted against him.

He was still in his high as you bent down, slowly licking the cum from his stomach, hips rolling against his hand, fucking yourself shamelessly. “You’re unusually silent, Caesar,” you said as you moved up, cleaning ever so thoroughly, cum salty on your tongue. “Who knew it was this easy to shut you up.”

It seemed to flip a switch in him as he finally came back to reality. His fingers picked up their work, his laughter strong as he rejoiced in the needy mewls escaping your lips. You didn’t mind, if it brought him the illusion of control, you’d let him indulge.

He was so big, and while you were already dripping you’d need to be wetter for this to work. You eyed the way his mouth twisted into a condescending smile, your walls twitching around his fingers at the sight. “Is that pretty mouth of yours good at something other than explaining your research?” You hinted none too subtly at what you wanted.

His laughter became manic at your suggestion. His tongue passed his lips and you mewled and bucked against him, desperately trying to chase your high. Two of your fingers joined his inside you, the stretch so divine that your other hand shot to his chest, nails digging into him looking for purchase.

“Why don’t you explain to me exactly what you want, little one.” He increased the pressure against your clit, fingers inside you working in a come-hither motion. You were so fucking close. You pushed against his chest, instructing him to lie down and he did, leaning back unto his elbow.

“I want your tongue, Caesar,” you panted, your vision feeling blown out from pleasure. “I want your face between my thighs as I ride that clever tongue of yours.”

The speed of his thumb against the bundle of nerves increased as he felt the rhythm of your hips stutter. “Is that all you want? How about you come on my fingers first, little one, then I’ll drink from that pretty cunt of yours.”

Oh gods, that sounded heavenly. You hadn’t expected such words out of him, his hesitation entirely gone. Your hand left his at your core, plastering itself on your mouth in an attempt to muffle the moans escaping you.

“Please,” you begged ever so close, hips stuttering. He laughed, the sound sending you over the edge. Your body went taut as you came, thighs closing tightly around his hand.

His fingers left your heat when it became too much. You looked at him as he picked you up by the waist, dragging you close to his face as he settled himself down on the wooden floor.

You took him on the invitation, quickly discarding your ruined panties to the side and straddling him, grip tangling in his hair as you eagerly awaited the feeling of his mouth. The metal of his cuffs was cold against your flushed skin as he wrapped his hands around your thighs, your skirt rising to your waist as he lowered you slowly to him.

His tongue circled your clit leisurely at first, the sensation slightly too sharp after your orgasm. Then his lips enveloped the bundle of nerves and he began to suck and the moan that you let out was so loud that you prayed that everyone on board was well and asleep in their bunks by now. Your hands shifted, looking for balance as your thighs trembled, fingers gripping the base of his horns.

The moan he let out at the sensation was just as loud and depraved as yours. You heard his hips buck into nothing as you started fucking his face brashly. His tongue darted in you and you felt so full. You hadn’t realized it was so long and thick. He was hitting all the right places, drinking you in desperately. His nose caught on your clit and your thighs instinctively sought to close at the overstimulation, but his hands held you steady and he redoubled his pace.

Everything seemed shaky and blurry around you, your breathing uneven and struggling between the mewls and begging flowing out of your lips.

“Caesar,” you chanted, your eyes rolling at the back of your head. Your toes curled as your high approached dangerously. “I’m going to come, please.”

And you came. Hard. He continued to lick and suck as your vision filled with white and you cried in ecstasy. As the movements of his tongue bordered into overstimulation you backed away, sitting on his heaving chest, his own pants matching yours.

Your gazes met and you smiled, satisfaction clear on your expression. “Are you going to be a good boy and let me fuck you, Caesar?” You asked, shifting down slowly. You grabbed his cock, lining yourself to him. His lips parted in a shaky exhale, thick with anticipation. “Caesar?” You demanded again when he didn’t answer.

“Gods, yes, little one,” he breathed out in a shaking voice.

You smirked, lowering yourself, the tip of his cock stretching you out. “So good,” you whimpered, your head rolling back, taking him further and further.

His hips twitched, and you pressed down on him, stopping the movement and giving him a warning look. “Be patient for me, Caesar,” you moaned as his hands found your thighs, nails digging into plush flesh in restraint.

He was so big, the stretch was almost painful but the ecstasy of having him sheathed inside you was addictive. “Fuck, Caesar,” you mewled as you rolled you hips. “I wish those shackles were off.” You found a steady rhythm, pace quickening in search of rapture. “I bet you could control so much, control the oxygen around,” you stuttered in pleasure. “Choke me just enough as you’d fuck me good, hm?”

He groaned at the idea, his moans matching yours, the heat in his gaze blazing hot at the words spilling out of your mouth. He brought his hands to your throat, answering your desperate pleas. He was speechless as he watched you fuck yourself on his cock, the sight divine as his fingers tightened perfectly around you.

You keened and mewled, lightheaded and oh so close to your release.

So good.

It was so fucking good.

“That’s right, little one,” you heard him encourage you through the curtains of pleasure dominating your mind. His hips met yours, chasing his own pleasure.

Your walls twitched around him and you sobbed out him name, tears staining your flushed cheeks as you came around him. The world was slowly disappearing, darkness on the edge of your vision as rapture took over your very being.

You distantly felt him come inside you, thick hot spurts against your womb. His thrusts became shallow and his hold on you slackened, letting you fall over his chest, damp skin meeting damp skin.

It took you a while to come back to reality, the steady rhythm of his heart almost bringing you to slumber. You slowly shifted, hot seed dripping down your thigh but his arms wrapped around you and brought you back against him.

You giggled, feeling giddy as his fingers gently traced the curve of your spine. His laughter mixed with yours and all seemed perfect in that moment.

Fuck that was good. You thanked the gods above that you had quite the voyage before you. There was no way you could ever get enough of this.

Masterlist

#one piece x reader #one piece x you #caesar clown x reader #caesar clown #one piece smut #caesar clown smut #reader insert #x reader #charlou writes

63 notes · View notes

promise-you-doie · 1 month

Text

K. Doyoung | From Home

Feeling overwhelmed by leaving everything familiar behind, you find solace in meeting Doyoung, who exudes a comforting familiarity that reminds you of home. His presence ignites a passionate fire within you, drawing you closer and easing the transition into your new chapter of life.

Doyoung x Reader (Strangers to lovers)

12k words

Mainly fluffy, a little angsty, suggestive.

Playlist

Part 1 - Coming Home

No smut, but this is a bit more suggestive than any of the other things I've put out. (Don't make fun of me, please; I'll cry.) This was only supposed to be 6k words, but I didn't wanna make you guys wait for a part three. Feedback is much appreciated. Thank you. :)

It was just another Saturday night. Your window was cracked half open, and the breeze from outside allowed itself in, brushing past the skin of your arm while you reviewed the notes from Thursday's lecture. Your roommate was long gone, so you had the room to yourself. This meant you got to play your music as loudly as you wanted without her complaining that it was "trash" or "boring."

You hummed along to the song and tapped your pen against the thin paper while checking the time on your alarm clock. Then, you tap your phone to see if you've received any missed calls or messages in the past two minutes.

You hadn't.

With a long, deep sigh, you returned to your notes and continued studying—until you heard your phone ring and Jaehyun's name flash across your screen. You rushed to answer your phone, your grin wide, your eyes bright.

"Hey, beautiful." When you accepted the call, Jaehyun's smile was as big as yours. You watched him rest in his bed, and you went to do the same. "I miss you."

"I miss you too, Jae." You pout. "I really wish you were here."

"I wish you were here." His voice is clear through your phone speaker, causing butterflies to erupt in the pit of your stomach. If this wasn't love, you didn't know what it was. You had your whole life planned around Jaehyun, and so far, everything has been going exactly as planned.

"I can't wait 'til you come back," he added, wiping the smile right off your face.

"I'm not coming back." You whispered.

He asks, "Why not?" You watch him shift on his bed to look at you. He's obviously confused; it doesn't take a genius to see it. His smile of adoration is long gone, and his eyes aren't as gentle as they were when you first answered the call.

"There's nothing there for me. Everything I need is here in L.A." You explain.

"What about me?" His voice was soft, but not the kind of soft you were used to. It was different; it almost broke you.

"Well… I thought you could come here." You flashed your doe eyes into the camera and mustered up a sincere smile to hide your nervousness about his reaction. You never talked about life after college; you just kind of assumed that he loved you enough to come with you.

You were wrong.

"Why would I do that?" His eyebrows furrowed, his tone almost degrading.

"I just thought you would because then we could be together. I hate long-distance—you know that—and I just want to be with you." You began rambling and rubbing your hands against each other to distract yourself from crying.

"The city has never been my thing; I don't see why you won't just come back home. What does Los Angeles have that Connecticut doesn't?"

"Everything, Jae. Nobody knows me here. I can start over, pursue my career, and live the life I have dreamt of since I was a little girl." Your voice was shaky, and you hated it. It felt like the air was fighting against you as you began choking over your own words.

"This is stupid." He laughed and looked away from the camera, unintentionally flashing his dimple as he did so.

"Stupid?" You repeat

"We've always talked about finding an apartment here and moving in together. Now, suddenly, you're in L.A. and want to abandon me?"

"I'm not abandoning you, Jae; I just really, really don't wanna go back there." You stress. He missed when you dried the warm tears on your cheek with the balls of your wrists.

"It feels like you are."

"I'm not." You murmured, looking down and tugging at the ends of your shirt.

"Well, you don't want to come back, and I don't want to go to L.A. So now what?" he asked. He's almost three thousand miles away, but the way he looks at you through the camera makes you feel like he can see right through you.

You mumble, "I don't know." Before you hear a loud sigh come through the phone's speaker, Jaehyun presses his lips into a thin line and throws his hand over his head to wipe his face once.

You could tell that he was frustrated, and you hated that you were the reason why. You thought to apologize, but you knew that it wouldn't help anything. So you remained quiet and waited for him to say something to break the awkward silence.

"Maybe you should get some sleep. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay, I love yo-" Your boyfriend wastes no time hanging up the phone and leaving you to sit in your own quietude.

That was your first argument, and after that, everything just went downhill. Your phone calls got shorter and shorter. Some nights, he wouldn't even call, and when he did call, it always ended in an argument. You tried dragging out your relationship for as long as possible, and you knew he was doing the same.

But eventually, it grew to a point when you started to dread his calls. Eventually, you started questioning whether you were still in a relationship. Eventually, you began to wonder if you even wanted to be in a relationship anymore.

Another Saturday night, spent in your dorm room alone. This time, instead of studying, you chose to order in and watch Netflix. You're three episodes in when your phone begins to ring. You pause your show and pick up your cell to find Jaehyun's contact flashing across your screen.

Hesitantly, you swipe to answer and prop your phone up on the table so you don't have to hold it.

"Hey, baby." His baritone voice rings through your ears in a way that no other voice could. Things might've been rocky, but you loved him—you were sure of that.

"Hey, Jaehyun." You chipped, leaning back against the couch so he could see your complete frame.

"Jaehyun?" He repeats, obviously dissatisfied.

You ask, "What?" And look closer to see the displeased look on his face.

"What happened to Jae?" He queries.

You frown, "Could we not argue today?" Ending your sentence with a "Please."

"Okay, y/n." He's being sarcastic, and you can tell. You overlook it and move on to the next subject because you'd much rather end the call with "I love you" than another heated discussion that causes one of you to hang up abruptly.

"How was your day?" You ask, hoping to change the subject.

"Boring, but I've been thinking about you all day." You watch his frown grow into a smile, which makes you feel at ease.

"Oh yeah, What were you thinking about?"

"Remember when we used to sneak out at night?" He reminisces. "The things we used to do." His smile shines on your screen; you can see his dimples and crescent eyes.

"You know your mom started calling me her son-in-law?" He brings it up suddenly.

"She's annoying." You roll your eyes and feel a sense of peace—finally, you can have a normal conversation with him.

"So when you come back, I was thinking that we could try out this restaurant that just opened. Everyone's been talking about it, but I didn't wanna try it without you." You didn't know if he was doing this on purpose or if he really just ignored everything that ever left your mouth.

"We talked about this, Jaehyun. I'm not coming back."

"Listen, I know L.A. seems new and exciting, but this is your home, whether you like it or not."

"I'm not doing this with you tonight." You breathe, picking up your phone to get ready to hang up, when he sighs and says, "I don't understand why you're being so stubborn."

"I'm not being stubborn. You just aren't listening to me."

"Okay, so now this is my fault?" He sits up and picks up the phone to see you better.

"I'm not blaming you. I just wished you cared enough about me to know that I'm happy here." He remains quiet, so you continue. "I don't wanna go back to Connecticut, and if you don't understand that, then maybe…" You pause, tears already beginning to form and your voice shaking just at the thought, "We should break up."

It falls quiet for about ten long seconds. Suddenly, you become hyper-aware of his background noises, his lack of facial expression, and the breath that you've been holding since you last spoke.

"Okay," he sighs, "If that's what you want." The call is dropped as soon as those words meet your ears. Once again, you're left to deal with your own silence and a fresh new set of warm tears that stroll easily down your cheeks.

"Hey girl, I—" Joy stops when she notices how puffy and red your eyes are. With that, she closes the door to console you. Nothing else is said when she wraps her slim arms around you to pull you into a hug, holding your head to her chest and patting it softly.

"I don't know about this." You look down at the dress Joy picks out for you. At first glance, it seems that the dress is two sizes too small for you, but that's the least of your worries. You were more concerned about coming up with an excuse to get you out of going out tonight.

"We have to get you out of this room. The energy you're harboring here is not healthy for your soul. And—" You hold your hand and nod to stop your roommate before she goes into another one of her lectures.

"I'll go. Just give me the dress."

The bar is small and intimate. You notice that everyone here knows each other. Everyone except you. Joy loosely holds your wrist in her hand as she drags you around to meet different people. You recognize a few of them, and most of them you don’t.

"Oh, there he is." She squeals, tightening her grip on your wrist and pulling you towards the tall, dark-haired stranger who already has his eyes on you.

"Doyoung, this is Y/n, and Y/n, this is Doyoung." Joy greets both of you and brings both of her hands to her cheeks when you both say "Hi" at the same time.

You don't notice when Joy slips away; you're too busy staring at the beautiful stranger in front of you. "I don't think I've seen you around before. Are you new?" He asks first

You nod your head, "Yeah, I'm a first-year."

Your eyes never leave him; there's some type of gravitational force pulling you closer to him. Something about him feels different, something no one has ever made you feel—not even Jaehyun.

Oh, Jaehyun.

"Sorry, I gotta go." You unintentionally stop him mid-sentence, unaware that he was even talking. And you run off faster than it took for him to say, "Okay." He blinks once, and you're gone.

Joy watches you leave the bar from afar, chasing after you before you can get too far. Nearly twisting her ankle in the high black heels she was wearing, she catches up to you but not without asking, "What happened?"

She doesn't get a verbal answer or any response at all, but she knows. She knows all too well.

Joy lets out a long sigh, "Let's go home." She holds her hand out, and you take it, once again allowing her to lead you back home.

You sat curled up in your bed with the prized bear that Jaehyun won you from the fair two years ago at the fair and his contact pulled up on your phone.

Your fingers dance around the phone, trying to find the right words. You want to tell him you miss him and you're sorry, but you're also afraid. What if he's mad at you? What if he had already found someone new? What if he never really loved you and was just waiting for you to break up with him?

All these questions swirl in your mind, and that should've been enough to stop you from texting him, but you let your heart take control. Mindlessly, you begin typing out, "I miss you; please call me." Just before you can hit send, you get a notification for a text message from an unknown number.

Unknown: Hey, this is Doyoung. Joy gave me your number.

Joy's already watching you from the corner of the room. When you look up, she's nervously gazing at you. Biting her bottom lip in anticipation.

"I know I should've asked you first, but he's a good guy. I think you should give him a chance." She defends herself, although she doesn't really have to. You could never be mad at her.

"Fine." You roll your eyes and pick up your phone to answer him.

Unsure of how to respond, you just typed "Hey," hoping that he would carry on the conversation.

"He's asking to hang out." You confessed to Joy when you held up your phone for her to see, even though you knew she couldn't see anything from where she was sitting.

"Tell him yes." She says urgently, jumping in her spot.

You obey her and use your thumbs to type out, "Sure, what time do you have in mind?"

He replies not even a second later with, "How about tonight?"

"He wants to hang out tonight," you shoot your head up.

"Oh, he's really interested in you.' Joy squeaks,

"What do I say?"

"Yes!" She squeals again, and you listen.

Jaehyun was long forgotten as you walked along the dark beach, listening to the sound of waves crashing in. The sky was pitch black; the only visible light was the moon, and the street lamps lined up a few yards away.

You can see Doyoung's face visibly; he's just as handsome as you remembered him from earlier in the evening, although you weren't expecting him to change in just a few hours.

"I love the beaches here," you admit.

He sounds, "Yeah?" While looking down at you and, you nod

"They're the reason I chose to come to California." The weather was warm on a Friday night, but the breeze coming in from the shore had you pulling down the sleeves of your turquoise blue sweater.

Doyoung noticed it and slipped his jacket off to drape it over your shoulders, asking, "Where are you from?"

You answer, "Connecticut." As you continue walking along the dark beach, taking in the warmth of his blue varsity jacket.

"Wow, you're far away from home, aren't you?"

"I guess." You agree. The waves come in just a little harder and leave your feet set and sandy.

"Well, how do you like California?" He asked

"It's beautiful. Very different from Connecticut," you boasted, feeling a sense of achievement since you had lived out your childhood dream. A subtle smile fell upon your face.

"I'm glad you're here," Doyoung said.

"Me too." You reply, looking up at him.

You aren't thinking about your ex for the first time in two months, and it feels nice.

You hated the student library, its familiarity, its blandness, and the fact that the staff always kept the air conditioning so high. But you needed to study, and this was the best place you could think of since your roommate took over your dorm to have her boyfriend over.

The library was awful, but you got used to it after a while. All it took was some warm tea and a set of earphones for you to lose track of time. Two minutes turned into an hour, and an hour turned into three. So, what should have been a 30-minute study session became a five-hour study day.

Granted, you did get distracted a few times.

The library is relatively full, but Doyoung still easily picks you out. He slides into the empty chair behind you and taps your shoulder. "Have you been here all day?" He asks.

You lie and answer, "No." But the snack wrappers and coffee cups tell him otherwise.

Knowing you aren't telling the truth, he asks, "What time did you arrive?" Resting his cheek on the palm of his hand to look at you.

You feel the heat rush to your cheeks before your turn to avoid his gaze. "Um, probably around like… 2ish?" You mumble to where he can barely hear you.

"You ever been to Karaoke?" He asks suddenly, causing you to whip your head around at his odd question.

"No." You answer.

Doyoung doesn't ask any further questions before he reaches to clean up your notebooks, and you do the same. "What are you doing?" You ask, still packing up the rest of your stuff.

"There's a karaoke spot around here." He takes your bag and swings it around his shoulder.

Your eyes widen instinctively when you stand up beside him. "Doyoung, I can't sing." You whine, but he only laughs, flashing arguably the prettiest smile you've ever seen.

"You don't have to know how to sing; it's just supposed to be fun," he says, guiding you out of the library with your bag still hanging off his shoulder. No matter how much you protest and argue, you still end up in a karaoke booth.

"No," you shake your head and wave your hands around. "You don't want to hear me sing, I promise."

"I do." Doyoung insists, pushing the microphone in your direction. Despite his charming smile and persistence, you're still reluctant.

It takes him putting on one of your favorite songs for you to start humming along. He makes you comfortable by randomly singing along to the words on the screen and pressing the microphone to your lips so you can sing with him.

Which you do. Your anxiousness is long gone, and you begin to dance to the beat with him beside you. You're lost in the moment, but Doyoung is smiling at you as if you hung the sun, moon, and stars with your own two hands.

"Where were you?" Joy scolds before you fully walk into the dorm.

"I was studying." You shrugged and closed the door behind you.

"Libray closed an hour ago," Your best friend stands up to you and folds her arms over her chest. "And it only takes 15 minutes to walk back." She continues. "You can't lie to me, Y/n."

You mutter, "And then I went out to karaoke with Doyoung." As you plop down on your bed with a slight grin, you say, "Well, that, and we got something to eat afterward."

That's when you see her glare change, and her smile grows wider than yours. "Why didn't you just say that?" She sat down right next to you. "You should've stayed out longer."

Your best friend slips her arm around yours and rests her head on your shoulder. "How did it go? Did you kiss?"

Joy is fully dressed, hair and makeup done, and ready to head out the door. Meanwhile, you're still slouched on your bed, hair pushed up into a messy bun, and glasses hanging loosely above your nose. "I don't wanna go," you whine, arms crossed over your chest.

"Doyoung is going to be there," Joy sings, hoping that will be enough to get you out of bed.

It's not.

"You're terrible at lying," you mumble, unconvinced.

"Please, Y/n. He'll come if you're there," Joy pleads, her hands clasped together as she does her best to give you puppy eyes.

"I'm not going just because he's there," you attest, but you still push your glasses up against your nose and roll off the bed to get dressed.

The "party" isn't really a party. There's just a small selection of people gathered around Kun's place. Most of them are familiar, as in you can put a name to a face. But there are still a few that you have to be acquainted with.

You occupy yourself with the snack table, seeing that Joy is too concerned with her boyfriend to notice that you're gone. Occasionally, you scan the area to see if Doyoung has shown up yet.

"Hey." You hear a somewhat familiar voice come from behind you, and when you turn around, you're faced with a broad, pearly white smile and long black locks of hair.

"Oh hey, Yuta." You smile to match his.

"I didn't think I'd see you here," he comments as he passes you a bottle of water. "You're always so hung up on that imaginary boyfriend of yours."

You press your lips into a thin line. You could try to convince him for the hundredth time that Jaehyun actually existed, or you could protect your energy and peace tonight by simply ignoring him.

You choose to argue.

"I don't know how else to prove to you that he's real. I'm starting to think that you're choosing to stay in denial because it makes you feel better for trying to flirt with someone in a relationship." You say calmly before opening your water bottle to take a sip.

You can feel his smirk from the corner of your eye before he opens his mouth to say, "I'll believe it when I see it."

That's when you feel that sharp feeling in the pit of your stomach, "Actually, we broke up." You look down to close your water bottle to avoid eye contact. "So you probably won't ever see it."

Yuta only laughs, "That's a new one."

"Will you leave her alone?" Joy waltzes in, "She doesn't want you. Go find some other freshman girl to bother." Your best friend wraps her arm around yours to pull you away from him.

"We were just talking." He defends, but she doesn't stick around to listen, and neither do you with you tied to her arm.

"Doyoung's been looking for you." She gushes and gestures her head towards the tall brown-haired boy conversing with Kun. He looks up almost as if he can feel your eyes on him, and his hands wave around as a greeting.

"Hey." You say first, a little too happily for your own liking.

Doyoung opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out when he's interrupted by Taeyong.

"Alright, guys, we're playing truth or dare." He calls loudly by Doyoungs ear. You can't help but wonder if it was on purpose or not.

"Truth or dare?" Joy repeats, "Isn't that for kids?" She insults but moves towards the living room where everyone else is, her arm still hung around yours.

Everyone gathered around in a circle, Joy on one side of you and Doyoung on the other.

Taeyong starts the game off with "Y/n!" He yells suddenly, and you quickly learn that he likes to startle people. "Truth or dare?"

"um, dare." You murmur.

"I dare you to make out with Yuta." Taeyong grins. You don't have to look at Yuta to know that he's doing the same.

"She'll pass," Joy speaks up for you so you don't have to. Then she reaches for the cup in front of you to drink your penalty for not going through with the dare. "Next." She hisses when the cup is empty, and her eyes are squeezed shut.

You hear Yuta mumble "Boring" under his breath, but he's not looking in either of your directions.

Kun speaks next, "Doyoung truth or dare?" And Doyoung doesn't give him the opportunity to further the question before he's downing the cup in front of him.

"Wow." Kun presses his lips into a thin line while the rest of the group laughs at the interaction.

The game goes on smoothly. Doyoung dares Taeyong to eat a spoonful of crushed red pepper, and Kun gets asked about his "daddy kink." Eventually, it becomes your turn. You scan the room for possible candidates, but you only have one name on your mind: "Doyoung," you utter. "Truth or dare."

"Dare." He confidently answers.

"I dare you to make out with her right now," Joy yells as you devise a dare to give him. And before you could take back what she said, Doyoung leans in to kiss your cheek. It's not anything significant, but it's more than enough to leave you flustered.

"I said make out, as in tongue her down. But that's good enough, I guess." Joy rolled her eyes.

"I wonder how her boyfriend would feel about that." Yuta grimaces, his head cocked to the side. That's what breaks you out of your little love trance. You chose to ignore him, and thankfully, your best friend does too. Even though you see her glaring at him with her tongue poking through her cheek as she tries to hold her composure.

"Hey." Doyoung reaches beside you to help clean the floor once the party is over.

You stand up straight to face him, "Hey."

"Joy told me to take you home," he says, pulling the bottles out of your hand.

"You don't have to."

"I don't mind." He speaks faster than it takes for you to finish your sentence.

"Oh- okay." You nod, "Let me just get my stuff."

Your third time in Doyoung's car is more awkward than your first. The music fills the silence, but you still feel obligated to say something. The only issue is that you don't know what.

"Are you cold?" Doyoung asks, dragging his hand to adjust the heat while leaving his other hand on the steering wheel.

"Just a little." You say.

And then it falls quiet again, which only leads you to think. Twiddling your thumbs when you blurt, "I don't have a boyfriend. Well, I did, but we broke up. But that was a while ago. I haven't talked to him since."

"Joy already told me," He stops you.

"What all did she tell you?"

"Just that you were feeling down since your breakup, and to be patient with you." He answers casually and politely. His focus is on the road, but you're still watching him.

"I'm not feeling that down. I mean, it's been months. I'm sure he's not thinking about me anymore. So I should move on." You stop when you realize you've been rambling again. "Right?" you ask.

"What do you think?" Doyoung flips the question back around.

"I think that I'm young," The car's quieter than it was when you first got in, possibly because the music had magically stopped playing in the middle of your conversation. Doyoung glances at you, but only for a really quick second before his eyes go back to the road ahead of him. "and I deserve to be happy. It's always been a dream of mine to go to school in California and start a new life. And now I'm here in L.A." You finish with, "So I should be happy."

"I agree." Doyoung nods. He pulls into the parking lot of your dorm and turns to look at you with a subtle smile.

This is the part where you're supposed to confess. Tell him that you really like spending time with him and possibly even making out in the back of his car.

But you don't.

You simply match his smile and say, "Thank you." You add, "For giving me a ride home and for listening."

"Anytime."

Your dorm room is just big enough for Joy and you. Although sometimes it got a little stuffy, it was usually really fun. Living with your best friend meant that every night was girls' night.

The only thing between you and your roommate was two boxes of pizza because you couldn't decide on toppings.

"So~" Joy drags out as she sets the crust of her pizza down in front of you.

You sound, "Yeah?" before taking another bite.

"How are things going with Doyoung?"

"You keep asking me this." You laugh and roll your eyes. You're furthest from annoyed, but the question started to get a bit old. "We're just friends."

"Oh, 'just friends,' my ass. I see the way you look at eachother." She attests.

"It doesn't mean anything." You shrug

"It means everything. It's like Shakespeare said 'eyes are windows to the soul."

"Shakespeare wasn't talking about me and Doyoung," you retort. Plus, he couldn't even spell, so why would I trust his judgment?"

"Okay, fine. Forget about Shakespeare. Even a blind baby could see that you and Doyoung are into each other, and it's not just as friends." Joy drags her index finger out to prove her point.

You feel your phone vibrate by your leg but ignore it while making your next point. "Even if we did like each other, I just got out of a relationship. It wouldn't be fair to him if I'm not emotionally available."

When you finish speaking, you reach out to pick up your phone and check your alerts.

"It's been six months. At this point, you're just wasting both of your time," Joy says while you continue reading your messages. "You can ignore me, but you know I'm right."

"You are," you reply, preoccupied with your phone, which has Doyoung's contact information pulled up on your screen.

"Exactly- wait, really?"

"No, I was just trying to shut you up." You laugh as you throw your phone down and rest back on your palms. "We're just friends, nothing more."

"We'll see how long that lasts." Joy counters.

Joy was right, although you can't really recall a time she was ever wrong. Your feelings for Doyoung were growing rapidly by the day, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. Everything in L.A was new and different; sometimes, it got overwhelming. But Doyoung made it easier. His presence felt so familiar, almost like you had known him your whole life.

You began to spend more and more time around him, whether meeting him at the student library to study or going out for ice cream. Sometimes, you'd spend hours talking on the beach, and sometimes, you'd just sit in his apartment and watch movies.

Joy noticed that the more you guys hung out, the less you talked about your ex, but she tried not to bring it to your attention. She was too afraid that she might accidentally stir up some hidden emotions.

Unfortunately, you only needed alcohol to bring those emotions out of you.

It's Friday night, and you're sitting drunk in a bar that Joy dragged you to again, crying over the ex you hadn't thought about in over six months.

With your head tucked into the crease of your elbows, you cry, "I miss him." To your best friend, who's trying to say anything and everything she can to take your mind off of Jaehyun.

"Look, girl, they have those burger nachos you like." She points to the menu, but none of it catches your attention.

"What are you doing?" She snaps her head, even though she already knows what you're doing

"I'm gonna call him."

You struggle to enter your password and pull up his contact information, but when you finally do, a hand rests on your shoulder—a hand you're sure doesn't belong to your best friend. When you turn around, you see Doyoung and his ever-so-sweet smile.

"Doyoung?" You call out.

"Let's get you home," he says loud enough for you to hear. You don't fight when he tugs on your arm to get you to stand up, and within seconds, you're being lifted off your feet as he carries you out of the bar and into the car.

You slur, "I can walk," but you don't make any attempt to escape his arms. Instead, wrap your arms around his neck and rest your head against his chest, close enough to hear and feel his heartbeat.

He gently seats you in the passenger seat of his car and reaches over to put your seatbelt on. Suddenly, you're no longer thinking about your ex. The familiar scent of Doyoung's car puts your mind at ease as you curl up in your seat and gaze out of the window. Eventually, you close your eyes when you begin to feel motion sickness.

Doyoung carries you into his apartment when Joy texts him that it's probably best that you stay with him for the night. He asks, "Why?" But she never responds, and he doesn't ask again.

First, he lays you down on his couch. You're just half asleep when he does so. You're barely awake to know that it was Doyoung's arms. You feel managing your body weight and his voice telling you to stay put while he goes to get a washcloth.

When he returns, he gently uses the warm cloth to scrub the makeup off your face and his thumb and index finger to turn your head to ensure he has everything.

"Okay, here, drink this." He almost whispers, sitting you up against the arm of the couch as he puts the bottle of water against your lips. You tilt your head back so the water can easily flow down your throat.

When the water is gone, Doyoung helps you lie back on the couch so he can slip your shoes off and lay the polyester blanket over you.

His eyes trailed over you, and seeing that your feet fell off the couch and your neck was propped on the arm of the sofa, he shook his head.

"This isn't going to work," he says mostly to himself. With that, he lifts you off the couch and carries you to his bedroom, where he lays you in the bed and tucks you under the covers.

"Is this comfortable?" He asks, and you nod with your thumb in the air.

"This is perfect; thank you, Doie."

He smiles at the nickname. "Alright, get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay." You sing and roll over in his bed.

The following day, you wake up to the smell of bacon and other breakfast foods. Turning in the bed, you realize that the room you're in and the bed you're lying in isn’t yours. You jump up with widened eyes, forgetting everything that happened last night.

When you remember who the room belongs to, Doyoung knocks on the door. "Are you awake yet?"

You shuffle more in the bed before you call out, "Yeah." He slowly opened the door. Doyoung was fully dressed, with a brown leather backpack hanging off his shoulder.

"I have to go to work, but there's food on the stove. You're welcome to stay here if you'd like."

"Okay." You nod, and so does he before he turns to close the door behind him. You go to lie back down on the bed when he nearly barges back into the room. "Oh, I left a set of clothes for you if you want to change. Towels are in the bathroom, and there's extra soap in the cabinet. I don't know if there's a specific brand that you prefer."

When he sees you smile, he smiles, "Thank you, Doie." You say.

That's all that needed to be said for Doyoung to nod "Of course" and softly close the door behind him.

You knew Doyoung's apartment like the back of your hand; that's how much time you spent there. His place was clean and beautifully decorated, so it looked bigger than it actually was. However, you liked it because it was cozy and warm. His apartment was much better than the little dorm you shared with Joy.

You tiptoed around his place in the oversized gray t-shirt he left out for you to wear, just searching for something to do. Peaks of sunshine snuck in through the cracks in his curtains as you walked from ‌room to room.

Seeing that there's nothing much to do. You heat up the food he left on the stove for you and sit on his sofa to watch television. Flicking through the channels for a good 20 minutes before you hear the door knob rattle.

"You're still here?" Doyoung speaks first, seeing you get up off the couch to greet him.

"Yeah, I just didn't wanna leave your apartment unlocked." You hesitate.

"I'm glad you're here." Doyoung's eyes trail over your figure. Specifically, the skin of your bare legs. He tried not to be too noticeable, but you caught it. "I brought dinner." He holds the bag up.

An hour passes, and you're still on his living room floor in front of him, talking about anything and everything. One minute, you're laughing about your childhood. The next minute, you're talking about your dream superpowers.

"So what's Connecticut like?" Doyoung asks.

"Umm." You go to push your hair out of your face, but Doyoung reaches to do it before you can. "It's boring. Well, to me, at least." You explain. "It doesn't have palm trees. There are beaches, but they aren't as pretty as the ones here." You conclude with, "I don't know everything is… just different."

"There wasn't anything you liked about it?"

"The food was good, I guess." You tilt your head back and forth. "I spent so much time thinking about getting away that I never really took the time to get to know and love it."

"Maybe we should visit sometime." Doyoung offers. He takes his eyes off of you for just a second, but in that small second, you feel cold and a little pathetic because of how sad you got just because you didn't have all of his attention on you.

You shouldn't feel this way about someone you consider a friend. You shouldn't be looking at him, hoping that he'd kiss you or just touch you or something. Anything other than just looking at you.

You utter, "Yeah, I'll probably like it more if I got to experience it with you." The words escape your lips in a soft murmur, barely audible. You quickly look down. Your eyes dart around, searching for anything to distract you from the moment's awkwardness. You notice a loose thread on your shirt and begin to fiddle with it, trying to calm your nerves. As you stand there in silence, you can't help but wonder if he heard what you said or, worse, if he knows what you're thinking. The tension between you two is palpable, and you feel a knot forming in your stomach.

"Are you okay?" Doyoung asks, dipping his head down to see your face.

You nod, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little hot."

"Why didn't you say so I can turn the air on." He wastes no time getting up and treading to the thermostat. You just sit there, watching the distance between you grow. You roll your eyes and let out a deep sigh.

"I turned it on, but it's going to take a while to kick in," your friend informs you as he claims the spot in front of you. You're still avoiding eye contact, and he notices it almost immediately. "If it's too hot, I can get you some water."

"Doie?" You mutter instead of responding to his previous statement.

He responds, "Yes?" growing concerned at your sudden change of tone.

"Can you kiss me?" The way he looks at you makes your face feel warm; you're nervous, but you can't look away from him.

"Are you sure? I don't wa—" You kiss him before he can finish his sentence. Your lips are on his when you scoot the rest of your body closer to him—close enough to claim your spot on his lap. His hands immediately crawl under your shirt to wrap protectively around your waist, ensuring that you can't go anywhere.

Breathless, you roll over to lay your head on Doyoungs chest. That's when he wraps his arms around you and lets out a slow, exhausted laugh.

"What?" You smile, looking up at him.

"We did this all out of order." You wait for him to continue, "I like you, Y/n, and I want to be your boyfriend more than anything else."

You try to sneak into your dorm early the following day, assuming that Joy would've been in one of her classes or maybe out at her boyfriend's. But she's up, sitting on the edge of her bed with her laptop propped up on her lap.

"Oh… you're still here." You laugh to divert the attention away from you.

"Welcome back." Your best friend says. She doesn't spare you a look until you plop down on your bed. "Why are you so happy?"

"I'm not." You press your lips into a line, trying your best not to smile. Joy stands up and hovers over you to examine you. The first thing she notices is that you're wearing Doyoung's sweatshirt and a pair of his sweatpants, which means that you left your clothes at his place. She then grabs your face and turns your head from side to side.

"You're glowing." She says, almost like a question.

"I used some of Doyoungs skin care."

"Oh please, not even he glows like this." Joy debates, standing up straight to put her hands on her hip."You had sex, didn't you."

"No, of course not. We just sat around. We watched TV and stuff, you know, normal things." You look anywhere but at her as she squints her eyes to you. "We had sex." You murmur sheepishly.

"How was it?" She rushes to sit next to you.

Joy would always say that you and Doyoung were a very cheesy couple. "You guys are worse than me and my boyfriend." She'd say.

Whenever you were around him, you had to touch him. You couldn't help it, and he didn't make it any better. Doyoung had the habit of pulling you into his lap and leaving a trail of kisses on your shoulder, even in public.

If you weren't sitting on his lap, you were wrapped in each other's arms. Holding hands was too casual; you wanted to encase yourself in his skin.

It was another "party" at Kun's. You were seated in Doyoung's lap, and the rest of your friends were sitting in a circle around both of you.

"Okay, your turn." Taeyong turns to Doyoung.

"Y/n?" Doyoung calls, looking down at you. The entire circle lets out a collective groan of annoyance, but he still continues, "Truth or dare?"

You answer, "Dare."

"Just kiss and get it over with." Taeyong grunts, and you obey.

"I think we can skip her turn. She seems occupied." Kun comments. You don't agree or disagree with your lips getting tangled with your boyfriends.

"Alright, that's enough." Joy slaps the side of Doyoungs arm, but it takes for you to pull away for him to stop kissing you.

"Y/n, truth or dare," Yuta speaks up from beside you.

You answer "truth," and he asks, "What do You have Doyoung saved as in your phone."

You hesitated to answer the question, not because you were ashamed but because you were confused. "I have him saved as Kim Doyoung." You say it almost like a question.

"Really?" Doyoung darts down at you.

"Yeah, that's your name, isn't it?" You ask, "What do you have me saved as?"

Doyoung doesn't answer verbally; he only pulls out his phone and opens your contact information so you can see it for yourself. A small awkward smile grows on your face when you read "My Angel," with a picture of you on top and your number below it.

"When did you do that?" is all you can ask. Your friends continue playing the game around you, not caring about the world you and your boyfriend are in.

"As soon as we started dating." He answers, closing his phone and laying it down on the ground next to you.

Following his actions, you pull your phone out and begin typing something. Doyoung is curious to see what you're doing, but he patiently waits for you to reveal it to him on your own.

Soon, you're holding your phone right in front of him. For him to see his own contact pulled up on your screen. His name on top, his number below it, and "My love ❤️." Written right in between it.

"Is that better?" You ask

"Much better." He leans in to kiss you, pulling you closer to him than you already are.

"They're doing it again." Kun mumbles.

"Could you two please get a room?" Taeyong calls out after.

Even though Doyoung made life easier for you, things still got hard. Unfortunately, he couldn't stop the troubles of everyday life.

You had graduated, thankfully. But now you were struggling to find a job. You spent too many days on Joy's couch with your eyes glued to a computer screen, sending emails to various corporations, all of which seemed like they just didn't want to hire you.

With each passing day, you felt yourself getting more and more discouraged. You hadn't even noticed that you were unintentionally blowing your boyfriend off until he brought it to your attention.

The beach was the one place you could go to forget everything. Your mind is completely blank when you sit next to Doyoung in the sand, your head propped up on his arm as you listen to the waves crashing in.

The fact that it was pitch dark just made everything so much better. You wished you could give up everything and just make this your life.

"How have you been?" Doyoung asks randomly. Your heavy eyes force themselves open as you pull yourself off your boyfriend's arm.

A tired, breathless laugh leaves you when you say. "What do you mean?"

"I haven't been able to speak to you in almost a week." He answers, "I just wanna know how you've been."

"It hasn't been a week."

"It's been 9 days," Doyoung responds rather harshly, but you don't pick up on it at first.

"Well, you know I've been busy." You say in defense.

"I don't know that." He says, "You don't tell me anything. You just call me when you wanna hang out or have sex, then you leave me to worry about you for a few days."

"I didn't realize I was doing that, Doyoung. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, angel. Just at least update me sometimes. I still like talking to my girlfriend." Doyoung coos, leaning in to kiss your cheek.

You agree, but it happens again. You go without talking to him for nearly two weeks, only to call one day in the middle of the night.

"Hello?" Doyoung shuffles in his bed to answer your call. You can hear in his voice that he's been sleeping.

"Doyoung…" You whine, "I need you."

"No." He states sternly.

your eyebrows furrow unknowingly when you mumble, "What?" You ask, taken back by his sudden sternness.

"You haven't spoken to me in two weeks. You don't call, text, or tell me anything, Y/n. I'm starting to feel more like a hookup than your boyfriend." He almost yells.

"I told you I was sorry." You reply.

He sighs. "You also told me you wouldn't do it again, but you did. I love you, angel. I love you a lot, but I'm not gonna run back to you whenever you finally decide to call me." He finished.

"I've been busy. What do you want me to do?" You plead

"I'd like for you to text me every once in a while. It's nice to know that you're still thinking about me even when we're not together. Or that you're still thinking about me during the day and not just in the middle of the night when you're needy."

"I don't wanna argue with you." You say after a long period of silence.

"Neither do I." He breaths. The next thing you hear are three beeps telling you that the call has been dropped.

In disbelief, you look at the phone and throw it on the opposite side of the bed. You roll over and try your best to sleep. But that doesn't come as easy tonight, no matter how many times you toss and turn.

Eventually, you reach for your cell to call your boyfriend again, but each time, you get, "You've reached my voicemail. I'm probably busy right now, but I'll call you back when I get the chance."

The following morning, you find yourself back on your best friend's couch, feeling restless and anxious. You try to distract yourself by scrolling through your emails and filling out job applications, but your mind keeps drifting off to Doyoung. You can't help but wonder if he's thinking about you too. You check your phone repeatedly, hoping to see a missed message from him, but every time you look, it's the same - nothing. The silence is deafening, and you can't shake off the feeling of unease that's been gnawing at you since the last time you spoke to him.

You weren't used to this from him. It was very rare for you to open your phone and see that he hadn't tried to call or text you. This only meant that he was really mad, and that made you feel uneasy.

Mindlessly, your thumbs hover over his contact, and you begin to call him.

The phone doesn't even ring once before Doyoung picks it up. "What do you want?" He spits.

You're more excited about the fact that he picked up to even care about the tone of his voice. "I missed you. and I just wanted to talk to you."

"So now you wanna talk?"

"What is your problem?" You mumble.

"I told you what my problem is. I don't like feeling neglected," he answers.

"I'm sorry, okay, I really am. I don't know what more you want from me?"

As you listen intently through the speaker of your phone, you can sense his reluctance. You can almost feel him holding back his true emotions as he takes a deep breath and responds, "There's nothing I want from you, Y/n."

"Then why are you acting like this? I just wanted to talk," you yell, despite his calm demeanor.

"I guess you're just too selfish and self-centered to understand," he insults. There's no point in me even wasting my breath," he says last before you hear that beeping again.

You don't know what irritates you more: the fact that he keeps hanging up before you can get your point across or the annoying beeping sound that comes right after. As if, to rub in the fact that your boyfriend is mad at you and you aren't making anything any better.

Neither.

It's the fact that he called you selfish and self-centered, as well as indirectly telling you that you lacked the brain capacity to even understand why he was mad in the first place.

Angrily, you click on his contact, but once again, you're met with "You've reached my voicemail. I'm probably busy right now, but I'll call you back when I get the chance."

You patiently wait for the beep to come in for your thoughts and insults to spew. Most of it you don't mean. You want to hurt his feelings like he hurt yours.

"You know you aren't such a saint yourself?"

"Selfish and self-centered, Really? Nice way to talk to your girlfriend."

" Fuck you, Doyoung. Fuck you."

"You don't have to talk to me, I know Yuta will."

"Doyoung, please, I'm sorry. I don't mean any of that. I just want you to talk to me."

"Whatever, I didn't really like you like that anyway. I was just bored."

"I've been cheating on you this entire time. I've been cheating on you, and that's why I haven't been texting you. Because I've been too busy having sex with other men."

"There aren't any other men, Doyoung. It's just you. I love you. Please call me."

By the end of the day, you had filled your boyfriend's voicemail until you couldn't send anything else. You went to sleep that night, thinking that he'd be over it by the morning, but the next morning rolled around, and he still wasn't talking to you.

Soon, a week had passed, and still, the same thing.

Things weren't working with Doyoung; your job search was getting nowhere, and you were losing weight from the amount of meals you skipped. Nothing seemed to be on your side.

"I think I'm going to have to stay in Connecticut for a little while." You cry into Joy's lap as she tries to comfort you.

"You know you don't have to do that." Joy stops you.

"I'm trying, but I really can't find a job, and I don't want to stay here and mooch off of you. Plus, I know you want to spend time with your boyfriend. I just don't want to get in your way," you explain.

"Please, y/n, you're not getting in my way, and my boyfriend doesn't mind having you around. If you feel like it's best for you to stay in Connecticut to get back on your feet, I understand that. But you're always, I mean always, welcome here." She smiles, smoothing the hair on your head. "But if you go, you need to fix things with Doyoung. He'd be heartbroken if you just up and left while you two were going through a rough patch."

She was right. She was always right. So that night, you ended up right in front of his apartment door. You didn't bother trying to call. You knew he wouldn't answer. The best approach was to face him in person, and that you did.

You knocked one, two, three times and waited patiently for him to answer, which he did in less than fifteen seconds. Your heart nearly jumps when you see his face, and you can tell that he was just as shocked to see you, too.

Neither of you says anything for a good long while. You're searching for the right words to say, and Doyoung's trying to stop himself from embracing you into a long-awaited kiss.

"Doyoung i-" He fails as soon as he hears your voice. Within seconds pulling you closer to him just to lay his lips on yours. Not caring what it is you have to say.

You end up in the shower together, and he's gazing at you lovingly. You're still just trying to figure out what to say to him.

"Do you really think I'm selfish and self-centered?" you mutter first, warm water spilling over your head when you look up at him.

"Of course not, Angel. I was just mad." He brings his hand up to caress your cheek and the outline of your lips. "I love you. Nothing could ever change that."

"I love you too, Doyoung." You murmur. "I don't like fighting."

"'Me neither." He says, more sincere this time.

"I don't like when you're mad at me." You continue.

"I don't like it either, angel." He whispers, closing in the space between with your hand still wrapped around your cheek. "and really don't like denying you." He says against your lips.

You can only close your eyes and whine, "Doyoung." Before he shushes you, connecting lips and tugging on your hips.

You can tell he loves you by the way he kisses you, the way he touches you, and the way he talks to you. You wish it weren't so evident. You wish he made it a little less obvious. Because then maybe you wouldn't have fallen for him as hard.

The thought of leaving him here in California pains you. Even if it's just for a few months. You don't know if you could bear long distance again, or if you could even look him in the eye when you tell him that you were breaking up with him.

You dry your tears before you leave a faint kiss on his lips. It takes a lot of strength for you to pull away from his sleeping body. You want nothing more than just to lay next to him, to stay there forever and for eternity after. But all good things must come to an end, and your flight was leaving in two hours.

You left with nothing but a note with tear stains that read,

I'm going back to Connecticut. I came over to tell you that, but I couldn't get it out. I hope that you can forgive me for leaving so suddenly, but I'll be back, I promise. For now, I think we should break up. I don't wanna hold you back, and I don't want you sitting around waiting for me. I want you to be happy. Even if it isn't with me.

If in the future we meet again, I hope we can work things out.

I love you, Doyoung. I'll love you forever.

-Y/n

and with that, you were gone.

Now, as you stand in your old room, the brown paper box at your feet, you can't help but feel a strong sense of nostalgia wash over you. You take in every detail: the way the sunlight filters through the window, casting a warm glow on everything in the room; the creaking sound of the wooden floorboards under your feet, each one carrying a memory of its own; and the scent of your old perfume that still lingers in the air, like a faint echo of a bygone era.

This time, as you prepare to leave, it feels different. It feels like you're saying goodbye for good, and the thought of leaving this place forever fills you with a deep sense of loss. When you first arrived in Connecticut, you couldn't wait to leave, but now you find yourself wishing you could stay just a little bit longer so you could relive the memories of your past, which you hold so dear.

However, you know that the real reason you're dreading going back is that you don't want to face your Doyoung. The thought of telling him that you're now in a relationship with the man you used to cry to him about fills you with anxiety. You're unsure of how he'll react, and the mere prospect of facing him makes your heart race with fear.

The more you think about it, the more you realize that things are not looking good for you. You're caught between your love for your new partner and your fear of the unknown.

Suddenly, your mom yells from downstairs, "Y/n, someone is here for you." You don't pay much attention to the hesitation in her voice, too lost in thought. You wish you had because when you reach the bottom of the stairs and look up, Doyoung is standing right across from you with a saddened smile and a black duffle bag. Your heart skips a beat as you see him. You hadn't expected him to be here, but now that he is, you don't know how to react. You mutter, "What are you doing here?" As you wrap your arms around yourself.

He doesn't give you a verbal answer; one second your hear the heaviness of his black bag when he drops it and the next he pulling you into a tight hug.

You immediately melt in his arms. There was no point in trying to build walls around Doyoung. He could always break them down with little to no effort.

"I missed you, Angel." He breathes, separating just enough for him to wrap his hands around each side of your face and bring you into a deep kiss. You kiss him back without much thinking; your body knows who Doyoung is. You can't deny him.

"Joy sent me." He finally answers when he breaks the kiss, but it doesn't take long for him to rush back to your lips.

"Are you still unpacking?" Doyoung asks when you show him your room. He eyes the brown boxes sprawled out around the floor.

"I'm packing up." You answer, "Joy found me a job, so I'm going back to L.A."

You don't have to face him to see him smile. The way his hand tightens around yours tells you all that you need to know. Soon, his other arm snakes around your waist to pull you back towards him. "We talked about visiting Connecticut together," he says next to your ear.

"We didn't know it would be under these circumstances though." You respond. Turning around in his arms.

"We're still here." He smiles. "What do you suggest we do first?"

"I don't know. I guess we can probably find a restaurant. But the food is way better in L.A."

It feels weird seeing Doyoung in your childhood room. It was like seeing two worlds collide, but it was nothing like seeing both of your exes in the same room.

"Baby! dinners ready." You didn't even hear when Jaehyun showed up, and nothing could've prepared you for this moment.

Doyoungs eyes divert from you to the man standing at your doorway, and Jaehyun eyes him back. Neither of them says anything, and thankfully so.

"Umm… Jaehyun, this is Doyoung, and Doyoung, this is Jaehyun." You gesture your arms to introduce them.

"Her ex," they both say at the same time. You glance between them, trying to figure out how to get yourself out of this situation.

"I-" "We're working things out." They interrupt you in sync.

"Huh?" You call out, walking past them. "Yeah, we're coming down now." You respond to nobody. Anything to get out of that stuffy room.

You take a seat at the end of the table, and your mom sits directly across from you while Doyoung and Jaehyun sit across from each other at opposite ends of the table.

They're both eyeing each other but as long as they're not bickering you do nothing to stop it. Although the air is quite thick, and you want nothing more than to just vanish into thin air.

"So, Doyoung, how was your flight?" Your mom asks to break the tension.

Your ex pulls his attention away from the man across from him to say, "It was long."

"Oh you must be so tired." You coo, reaching out to caress his cheek and the skin of small eye bags.

"I'm fine now that I got to see you." He wraps his larger hand over yours.

"I guess we should prepare for our flight," Jaehyun speaks up. He's talking to you, but his eyes are trained to Doyoung.

"You're coming to L.A.?" Doyoung asks, digging his spoon through the food.

"Yeah, I'm moving down there for Y/n," Jaehyun states.

"It's about time." Doyoung laughs mostly to himself.

"What was that?"

"It's about time," Doyoung repeats sternly.

"what's that supposed to mean?" Jaehyun furrows his eyebrows and throws his spoon.

"Nothing, he doesn't mean anything by it. Can we please just sit here and enjoy dinner without the two of you going at each other's necks?" That's all it takes to shut them up. "Thank you." You mutter as you breathe and go back to eating the food your mom worked so hard to cook.

"Drive safe." You stop at the door, and Jaehyun stops shortly after you do.

He turns around to ask, "You're not coming?"

You shake your head, "I don't wanna leave him alone."

Jaehyun purses his lips together, he couldn't lie, your answer disappointed him. But he didn't press, "Okay, I'll call you." He pressed a kiss to your cheek. "Goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight, Jaehyun," you murmur faintly. Watching as he turns to walk to his car. When he pulls off the driveway, you head into the house. Closing and locking the door before you trail upstairs to your bedroom.

You take a deep breath and push your hair back, thinking about how long and eventful your day has been.

Doyoung's seated on the edge of your bed, patiently waiting for you to get back when you walk into your room. Giving him a half smile as you make your way to your bed to sit next to him.

Although Doyoung just tugs on your wrist to pull you right into his lap. You don't fight it, his lap was warm and familiar. The perfect way to end your stressful day.

"How do you feel, Angel?" He asks above your head, his arms wrapped tightly around you.

"Tired." You answer, breathing in the scent of him. The scent of home. You were crazy to ever think that you could live without him. Without this.

"I love you," Doyoung says in the crook of your neck. He starts to leave a trail of kisses from your neck and across your shoulder. His arms are still wrapped right around you. You couldn't leave even if you wanted to.

But both of you know that's not what you want.

"I love you." He shifts to your other shoulder, "So much." You can only moan his name. His touch leaves you speechless as he reaches to pull your shirt over your head.

"You're mine, right?" He whispers against the shell of your ear.

"All yours, Doie." You spur when his hands tread into your underwear.

"I know Angel." His open-mouth kisses subtly turn into soft bites that have you squirming against him. "I'm gonna make sure he knows that. Okay?"

"Yes, Doyoung." you cry.

"You gotta keep it down." He coos. "Can you do that for me, Angel?"

You simply nod and that brings a smile to your ex's face. Warranting him to lay a kiss on the back of your neck while his fingers continue working.

Jaehyun's name is flashing across your screen, but you're too busy to notice anyone calling.

"Goodmorning!" Your best friend chirps the second you answer your phone. "Oh- someone had a wild night." She giggles, referring to the love bruises you have planted on your neck.

"You just wait till I get back." You hiss into the speaker of your phone. Be careful not to wake your boyfriend up.

"You're gonna thank me? Kiss me and hold me and tell me I'm the bestest best friend in the whole wide world?" Joy smiles fondly into the camera.

"You have no idea." You poke your tongue through your cheek. Although you weren't mad at her, you couldn't be even if you wanted to. And you really wanted to.

"Oh please, girl. I saved you, and you know it." She smirks knowingly.

"You might have, but I'm still mad at you." You glare into the camera.

"And you're still really bad at lying. I'll see you when you get here." She grins, ending the call with "I love you. I knew you'd do the right thing."

Just as soon as she hangs up you're getting a text message from Jaehyun.

Jaehyun: I'm outside.

You rush to your window to see that, sure enough, he's standing right next to his parked car. You glance one more time at the man in your bed and remember the marks you have as evidence of last night's events.

"You're early." You say, when you open the door. One hand hanging from the back of your neck.

"You didn't answer my call last night, I couldn't sleep," Jaehyun explains, looking down at you.

"I was so tired, I just fell asleep. I'm sorry." You gulp, knowing that he could see right through you. You tried your best to keep a straight face, but that was the problem. Jaehyun could tell you were hiding something by how still you were.

You don't blink, breathe, or say anything until Jaehyun mutters, "It's okay. Baby. I know how tired you can get."

The nickname causes you to grimace, and he quickly notices it. He noticed everything, the way you avoided eye contact, the way you held your hand over your neck. How clingy you were with him just a few days ago, but distant with him now.

He's lost you, and he knows it. He's just not ready to accept it yet.

"Do you maybe wanna go out and get a bite to eat?" He asks.

"Jaehyun," You trail off, "I'm going back to L.A."

"I know, I've got everything packed. We-" "I'm going back with Doyoung." You blurt out nervously.

Jaehyun doesn't say anything, so you continue. "You knew this only temporary. I mean, you hate the city; this is your home, and I can't take you away from that." You continue rambling

"But I love you y/n, and I'm willing to make it work to be with you. I really, really don't wanna lose you. Again." He pleads, reaching for your hand.

"You'll find someone else. You'll find someone who loves you and makes you happy. Someone that won't ask you to leave everything behind." You subtly pull your hand away from him.

"What aren't you understanding? I don't want someone else. I was here first, and I think that should count for something." This time, when you don't say anything, he continues, "I thought you said you missed me? Just a few days ago, you asked me to come with you."

"That was a mistake." You finally look at him. "I was sad, and lonely and you were here. I was confused, and I wasn't thinking straight. I said a lot of things I didn't mean."

Each word that left your lips was a blow to his heart; all he could think was, "Mistake?"

"We both know it, Jaehyun. I loved you once, years ago. I don't feel the same way anymore."

He remains silent as he gets closer to you. Your breath gets stifled with each step he takes towards you. Without a word, he pulls your hand from your neck, revealing the bruises lined up along your skin. His stomach churns, seeing marks on you that aren't from him. His heart aches knowing that the person who left those marks is the person you're probably gonna end up with for the rest of your life.

"So you really do love him," Jaehyun utters.

"I do." You're certain this time. "I love him a lot."

"I guess that's all that matters then." Jaehyun's eyes dart from your neck up to your eyes. "I wish you the best of luck."

And with that you never saw him again. You never heard from him or about him. He just disappeared from your life, almost like he's never been there at all.

8 months later.

You prop your chin up on your palm as you review your emails. It's 3:45 a.m.; you should be sleeping. But sleep didn't come easy, and you always found that you were way more productive at night anyway.

You keep your eyes on the screen of your desktop when you hear Doyoung shuffle into the office. You can't see him, but you hear him pull a chair up beside you, and you can feel his gaze on you. After a few seconds, you go to remove the hair from your face, but Doyoung is faster as he pulls the strands behind your ear. Then, without a word, he goes back to watching you work.

"I can't focus if you're watching me," you say, finally, but your attention remains on the computer in front of you.

"I can't sleep if you're not next to me." He softly responds.

Finally, you divert your attention from the desktop to look at your boyfriend. "I'm sorry, it's just hard for me to sleep." you pout.

"It's okay, angel. Just keep working." He rubbed circles into your back while you continued answering the emails you couldn't finish the day before.

Not even five minutes pass, and you feel your eyelids grow heavy. "Fine, you win." You whine just loud enough for him to hear. "I'll come to bed."

You roll the chair around so your whole body is facing him. As soon as the words meet his ears, Doyoung grips the back of your thighs to carry you back to your shared bedroom. You wrap your thighs around his waist, with your arms around his neck.

"Would you like some tea, Angel?" he asks, and you can feel the vibrations through his chest when he does.

"no, thank you."

Doyoung smiles at your use of manners and carefully lays you down on the bed. Laying a kiss or two on your lips when you refuse to unwrap yourself from around him.

Taglist- @bluebeard67 @sofix-hc7 @jenmongiii

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