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Who knew? | L. Sohee

Who knew the love of your life would be the weirdo you met in a coffee shop?

Sohee x afab!reader

Word count: 8k

Warnings: curse words

Genre: fluff, angst

Playlist

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Karina snickers, leaving the kitchen so she doesn’t have to be in the same area as you.

Mad isn’t even a strong enough word to describe how you feel right now. You can feel your blood boiling, and every little sound causes you to get more and more frustrated. The reason? You missed all 7 of your alarms because you forgot to charge your phone the night before.

If there was anything you hated more than the male species, it had to be waking up at 11 am.

That means you have only 30 minutes until your first lecture of the day, which by the way isn’t nearly enough time to pick out an outfit, do your skin care, your makeup routine, and your hair, and still get to class on time.

Waking up at 11 on any day, including the weekend, basically meant that your day was already ruined. You’ve already wasted half the day, so it’s best to protect your peace and just stay home. And that’s what you decide to do after attempting to do your hair but quitting after its lack of cooperation.

“I wanna die.” You slur into a pillow after successfully spending 30 minutes getting angry at any and everything.

“Why die when the sky is clear and blue.” Winter chimes happily, a little too happy for your liking.

“Maybe you just need some fresh air and a coffee.” Ningning suggests from the bathroom. “I heard there’s a new cafe down the street, you should go.” She adds

“I don’t wanna go outside. I wanna lay here and die.” You say it as a joke, but some part of you is serious.

Either way, You still end up at the cafe. Even though Siri kept giving you the wrong directions. What should have been a 7-minute walk turned into 2, 15-minute laps. It’s safe to say that by the time you arrived, you had completely lost your appetite for coffee.

But you’re persistent in making the best out of this unlucky Monday. Walking into the cafe with a facial expression that tells everyone around you that it was only 12:01 and you were already having a bad day.

“Hi, could I get an Iced Americano?” You say blandly, forcing a small smile to cover the bad mood you are in

“What size?” The barista asks

“Large.” You needed it.

“Will that be all?” He asks.

You nod “Yes,” while patting your pockets for your wallet. Here's the catch, you left it at home. Before you resort to your last plan; screaming, crying, and sobbing on your knees, you decide to check your purse. Except, you don’t have that either.

“Your total is gonna be 5.05” The barista looks at you distantly as if he couldn’t see the internal war that you were battling right now before his very eyes. “I-” “I got it.” You watch someone stick their arm past you to put their card in the card reader. Thus paying for your much-needed drink.

“You didn’t have to.” You say shyly, without even looking in the stranger's direction.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I’ll pay you back.” You finally turn to look at him. “Just uh…” You rush to pull out your phone and unlock it. “Give me your number, and I’ll wire it to you as soon as I get home.”

There were lots of things you hated, men being on the top of the list and being indebted to people is fourth down from it, with “Especially to men” written beside it in parenthesis. So anytime a man did anything nice to you, you wanted to make sure you paid them back immediately just so they don’t try to hold it over your head later.

“It’s only five dollars.” the stranger says

“Just let me pay you back, Please.” You beg, still holding your phone out for him to put his information in.

“Well if you really wanna pay me, you could just allow me to take you out on a date.” His response leaves you dumbfounded. A frown grows on your face when he smiles at you.

If someone were to ask why you were adamant about burning all the men alive, this was the exact reason why. “You’re kidding… right?” You laugh, because surely this has to be a joke. When you walked out of your apartment this morning you were hoping to just have a cup of coffee and maybe some exercise. The last thing you were thinking was to have some guy hitting on you after he practically forced you to let him pay for your coffee. (you didn’t ask him to do that, so basically he did it by force.)

“Y/n.” The barista calls out your name, luckily to pull you away from the weirdo that is subliminally asking to get in your pants. During broad daylight, in front of a crowd of people.

“Thank you.” You muster up a smile for the barista and head towards the door. Leaving the stranger behind. Owing him doesn’t even matter anymore. It’s not like you’re ever gonna see him again.

You let out a deep sigh when you hear him yell “You’re welcome.” once you leave the cafe and the door closes behind you.

“Today has to be the worst day ever.” You complain the second you step into your apartment. Catching the attention of your four other roommates.

The apartment was small and probably shitty to most but it didn’t matter to any of you because you were all together and the rent was too high nowadays. So if it took all of you piling over each other just so you wouldn’t be homeless, so be it.

However, being in a small 3-bedroom apartment with 4 other girls meant no secrets. Not because the five of you were nosy, it’s just that the walls were thin and there was absolutely nowhere to go to get any privacy. Best believe there were things about the girls that you wish you didn’t know.

“Couldn’t have been that bad,” Karina says nonchalantly, walking past you towards the living room to plop down on the couch and catch up on the series she’s been binging for a week now.

“Well, first I woke up late..” You’re tailing after Karina but get stopped when Ningning walks in your direction, only to take the coffee out of your hand and begin taking sips out of it. “This is good.” She nods without acknowledging the story you’re trying to tell everyone. Skipping to the couch with your drink still in her hand.

“There’s probably someone in the world dying right now, while you’re crying about sleeping in for a few hours.” Giselle scolds but she doesn’t even take the time to look at you. She just takes a seat next to Ningning and helps the two girls finish what’s left of your coffee.

“No, but listen, I went to go to the cafe as you guys suggested. But the directions were being stupid.”

“Was it the directions or was it you?” Karina asks, shaking around the ice in the coffee.

“It might have been me but that’s not the point.” You dismiss, “After like 30 minutes I finally find the cafe and I go to place my order.”

“But let me guess- You forgot your card.” Giselle interrupts you.

“Well, yeah. And then-"Wait, if you forgot your card, how’d you get this coffee.” Ningning asks instead of letting you finish what you’re so desperately trying to get out.

“The barista obviously thought she was cute and gave it to her for free,” Giselle answers for you.

“No. I-”

“For free? I don’t think so. Y/n’s pretty but she’s not ‘I think you’re so pretty that I’m gonna risk my job and be homeless’ pretty. Some guy probably just found interest in her and paid for her coffee, so she insisted on paying him back because she never knows how to accept when someone’s being nice but he refused cash and asked her to just let him take her on the date instead.” Karina somehow predicts everything perfectly, which is kinda scary.

“Yeah, actually” You confirm, but you’re still at a loss for words.

“So what did you say?” Ningning turns to you.

“No, of course. This is y/n we’re talking about.” Karina sits up to give you the last bit of coffee but winter reaches it before you do. Swiping it right from under you and taking the last swallow.

“Well, at least you got free coffee.” Giselle points out.

“And I'll tell you what I got,” Winter demands everyone's attention. Throwing her arm around your shoulder and turning to you when she says “We’re gonna get you laid tonight.”

“What are you talking about?” Giselle asks before you get the chance.

“Jaemin just invited us to a party and guess who’s gonna be there,” Winter asks, pointing to Ningning who pipes up, slapping her hands together.

“I’m guessing, Jaemin.” You say nonchalantly.

“Sohee.” Ningning chimes. By now she’s jumping up and down.

Sohee is the guy she’s been trying to set you up with for weeks. You never met him and you don’t really wanna meet him. She tells you that she has a feeling that you’ll like him but you don’t think that’s the case because well, he’s a man.

“I’m not going.” You state pushing Winter's arm off of you so you can go to your bedroom. Pretending not to hear all of them yell “Boring.” before you close the door.

Another con with living with four other girls is that everyone is always ganging up against you. There wasn’t much ground for you to hold when it was always 4:1. With that being said, it was no surprise that you still ended up at Jaemin’s party even after making 101 excuses as to why you couldn’t go.

You were a few hours late of course. If the girls were gonna drag you out you had to make sure that you wasted as much time as possible.

“Here, drink this.” Giselle pushes some drink in your face.

“What is it?”

“Doesn’t matter, drink it.” She continues pushing the cup towards you until you take it and down the whole thing. Not caring what it is because you’re sure that she wouldn’t give you anything too dangerous right?

wrong.

“That’s horrible.” You yell over the music, wiping the excess liquid from your lips with the back of your hand.

“Isn’t it? I thought I was the only one.” Giselle laughs while taking the cup from your hand. You didn’t bother to argue with her, since it was something that she had a habit of doing. Instead, you just sit there around the couch watching everyone else have fun and decide that you’d rather be home. Or probably anywhere else.

Some people might say that you’re a prick or a party pooper, that you were stuck up and unfun but you’d say, they were absolutely right. What are you even supposed to do at these kinds of things? All you saw were really bad dance moves, a mess, and a hangover in the morning. What could be so fun about that?

“Woah.” You hear someone say from behind you. You don’t roll your eyes yet but you want to, because you’re almost sure you know who it is before you even see them. “I didn’t think this would be the place that I run into you again.” The boy says when you finally turn around to meet him.

The universe must absolutely hate you, you think. Because there is just no way that you run into the same man again within the same day. “Why not?” You say arms crossed with a frown bigger than the one you had this morning when you ran into him the first time.

“Well…” He looks you up and down.

“What are you trying to say?”

“This just doesn’t look like something that you’d be into, that’s all.” He smiles and leans against the wall beside you. “But I’m glad you’re here.”

This time you roll your eyes and walk away. You don’t have enough time nor do you care enough to try and change his mind about you. Thankfully he doesn’t try and chase after you but he does yell “I hope you enjoyed the coffee.” to which you hold your middle finger up behind you so he can see it.

“Y/n where are you going?” Ningning runs to you, tugging at your arm when you reach Jaemin’s front door.

“Home.”

“Wait! You have to meet Sohee first.”

“I’ll be fine.” You say trying to get out the door."

“Just 30 more minutes please.” She begs, getting down on her knees but not letting go of your hand.

You could argue with her, but one thing about Ningning is that she’s never lost an argument. So you take the easy way out and distract her instead.

“Oh my god, is that Sungchan?” You spur randomly

“You can’t fool me Y/N.” She looks at you unamused, but pipes up from the floor the second she hears a stranger from behind yell “Is that Sungchan.”

You blink once and she’s gone, mixed in with the other crowds of people. And you take your opportunity to run away, grabbing the first taxi you see and heading back to your apartment.

The steam from your shower follows you from the bathroom into your bedroom when you sit on your bed. Drying your hair with a towel, you take a deep breath. This is great, it’s quiet and calm just the way you like it.

That is until your four roommates come crashing into your room, screaming and squealing over each other and you can't even make out what any of them are saying. The only things you’re able to make out are something about fate and the Sohee guy that Ningning’s been telling you about.

“Wait, one at a time.” You stand and hold your hands out. “Giselle first.” You add

“Who’s turn is it to cook tonight? I’m hungry.” She slurs and then walks out of the room before any of you can answer her question.

“Okay… Winter.” You point to her when she holds her hand up.

“HI.” She holds her hand over her mouth when she giggles.

“Hi, Winter.” Her giggle gets louder when you smile back at her.

“Sohee wants to meet you,” Ningning yells, not giving Karina a chance to speak.

“I’m not interested.” You state, sitting on your bed.

“Come on, please. Just once.” She pleads for the second time of the day.

“No.”

“He could be the one.” Ningning begs even more.

“I don’t think so.”

“He’s cute and sweet and probably even romantic.” She adds

“Then you date him.” You mutter, laying down on the bed and closing your eyes.

“He wants you.” She continues even though you’ve turned your lamp off and shifted comfortably under your bed.

“I don’t want him.”

Other than your bedroom the best place on earth is the library. An endless world of books and possibilities. The best part about it? It’s completely quiet and the librarian always gives you one of her home-baked cookies.

Today the library is completely empty which means it’s even quieter than usual. The only noise is the traffic noise and the thunderstorm happening from outside. Which is even better for you because you know your afternoon reading session is going to be better than ever.

Walking down the romance aisle, dragging your index finger down each of the books until you find the very book you’re looking for. The spectator in the painting: volume 7/9.

You had spent the last four months binging the book after your favorite book blog suggested it. A story about a prince who falls in love with a violinist and risks his life to save her when she gets sentenced to death after treading too deep into the king's chambers.

The series was astonishing, just when you thought you knew what was gonna happen next, Boom! A plot twist.

“There it goes.” You whisper to yourself when you find the book on the top shelf out of place from where it’s supposed to be.

Your heart drops when you hear a somewhat familiar voice. The library is dead silent so when the boy walks in with his green sweatshirt and crossbody bag you immediately break out of your world. Leaning over the bookshelf to see if the voice belongs to who you think it belongs to.

“Good evening, Miss Lynn.” The boy greets happily leaning over the counter. You can tell he visits the library often because of how comfortable he is, smiling and making jokes with the librarian. That doesn’t bother you, but what does is Ms. Lynn passing him one of her home-baked cookies and joking with him about how he shouldn’t tell anyone. just like how she does with you.

You take that as a sign to mind your business, not even wanting to know who the boy is anymore. Except when you think to walk away the librarian points in your direction, guiding the boy to the sci-fi genre of books behind you. What’s even worse is the exact second the boy turns around you see that he’s exactly who you thought it was.

“Fuck.” you mutter under your breath and hide behind the shelf. Holding your book to your chest. You clasp your hand over your mouth. You want to stand there and take in the shock that your body just went through but you know the better option is to get out of there as quickly and quietly as possible without him seeing you. Turning on your heels and walking quickly out of the aisle.

You’re almost there when you hear the boy call out for you.

“Y/n?” You know you should just keep walking away but you can’t. You stop dead in your tracks and slowly turn back to him. He strolls closer to you when he’s sure that he called for the right person.

“How do you know my name?” you question, suddenly every crime documentary comes to mind and your heart is racing. He could be a stalker or maybe a murderer.

“It was on your coffee order.” He answers with his usual smile. except this time it’s a lot more reassuring, no one with such an adorable smile could ever harm you. Right?

After a few seconds of silence, he points to the book you’re holding. “you read this too?”

“No, I was just curious about it. But now that I look at it, it seems uninteresting.” You flip the book around as if you’re examining it.

“I thought people usually started with volume 1.”

“Is this not…” You feign ignorance, flipping the book around to see that it says volume 7 as if that wasn’t the one you intended to read. “Oh I don’t have my glasses, I tho…”

You trail off looking back at the boy. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.” you scold him.

“You don’t.” he agrees while reaching for the book in your hand. “I don't think you’ll like it anyway, the main character is so annoying. she’s always so defensive.”

Your first instinct is to defend the woman, even if she is fictional. “She’s not-“ but then you realize you’ve blindly walked into his trap.

“Whatever, just give me the book.” You mutter, pulling the book from his hand and walking out of the library. Not caring that he fondly watches you stomp through the library doors with the book still in hand.

“Why won’t he leave me alone?” You dramatically yell upon entering your apartment.

“Who?” Giselle pops up first

“he?” Karina comes out second

“No! no one can talk to you right now. You’re already taken.”Ningning runs out grabbing by your arm as if this was gonna protect you from the boy, who’s not even in the room.

“taken?” everyone except Ningning calls out at the same time.

“By Sohee.”

Instead of a verbal response, you just roll your eyes, Ningning was very persistent, you’ll give her that.

“Okay wait, who's the guy that won’t leave you alone?” Winter asks

“The guy from the coffee shop. It’s like he’s following me around, first at the cafe, then at the party, and now at the library.”

“The party?” Giselle questions “Is that why you left early.”

“That and I didn’t really wanna see Karina making out with a bunch of different strangers.” You admit, subtly gesturing to her with your hand.

“Fair” Karina nods

“Is he cute?” Winter questions

“The contrary! ” You somewhat shout. You’re very driven and determined to prove that you’re not into this guy even though you know it’s a lie. “What's even worse is that he won’t leave me alone and he knows my name.”

“like a stalker?” Giselle suggests

“Probably, this is why I hate men.” You throw your hands up

“But you’ll love Sohee,” Ningning adds.

Some days go by when you don’t run into him. five to be exact but it wasn’t like you were counting. You didn’t wanna see him, but it was torture for you to walk into places and constantly look over your shoulder because you thought he might be right behind you.

You’re sitting at the kitchen counter, head propped up by the knuckle of your hand. You’ve been up for hours trying to finish this paper for your biochemistry class, but you’re not making any progress. There were only two coherent lines written on the paper and a bunch of random letters that appeared when you slammed your head on the keyboard of your computer.

“I am so fucked.” You mutter, head still stuck into your laptop.

Your head stays there just a moment. You just needed a small break, nothing serious, just a small moment to reboot your brain and give you maximum creativity and intellect.

Except it wasn’t just a moment, you had slept through your first two alarms. Head popping the second your alarm begins to ring, immediately your eyes go to the time. “No~.” you groan frustratedly. throwing your legs over the chair and running into your bedroom to get dressed.

luckily you had just enough time to get some coffee and this time you brought your card. You made sure of it.

You walk into the cafe and stand behind the six people who are already in line getting ready to place their orders. Humming along to the tune that they have playing lowly from the speakers, you pull out your phone to kill time, going back and forth through your social media. Until it’s your turn to place the order.

“Good morning, what can I get for you today?” You notice the barista is different from the last one and much more welcoming as well.

“I’ll just take a small iced americano.” You say, pulling out your wallet to pay for the coffee.

“And can I get your name for the order?”

“Y/n”

“Okay, I’ll call out your name when the order is ready.”

“Perfect thank you.” You nod and find a table to go wait, Although it doesn't take long for the man to call your name. You stand up almost as soon as you sit down, pick up your iced drink, and head to the door.

Just moments before you reach the door another man walks into the small coffee shop. You can tell that he’s already preoccupied with his phone to notice that you’re on your way out. So you take the initiative to get out of his way. However, it still doesn’t stop him from bumping into your shoulder and knocking your (thankfully, iced) coffee all over your clothes.

“Watch where you’re going.” He’s the first to yell, he doesn’t bother helping you clean up the mess he made, and he doesn’t even apologize.

The asshole just walks right past you.

“Do you want me to kill him?” “Ye-” You almost say “yes.” on instinct but ultimately refuse and turn around to face the boy behind you. Letting your shoulders relax when you meet his soft eyes and familiar smile. “No, it’s fine.” No matter how hard you try you can’t stop the smile that grows on your lips. Hurrying and looking down before he could see it too.

“I’ll go see if I can get a mop.” he walks away too soon to hear you say “okay.” and you stand there waiting for him with a stupid smile on your face as if you weren’t just wishing he’d vanish less than a week ago.

You’re only able to pull yourself out of your trance when he finally comes back with the mop. You reach to pull the mop out of his hand so you can clean it up but he stops you. “I go this, you can just wait over there. I’ll buy you a new coffee.” As if you weren’t slowly falling for him already.

“Okay.” You nod sheepishly, walking to where he guided you.

You weren’t one to get flustered, and especially not by man. But here you were kicking your feet, blushing and giggling all because someone offered to buy you a new coffee.

It takes only 9 minutes for him to walk back to you with a fresh cup of iced americano. “You didn’t have-” “I know.” he cuts you off, pushing the coffee towards you until you accept it. You finally do after a few moments of just staring at it.

“Thanks,” you say last, receiving the cup from his hand and getting ready to walk away. He lets you make it all the way to the door before he calls to get your attention.

“Wait.” When you stop and turn around he jogs towards you and wraps his jacket around you to cover up the coffee stain that you have smudged into your shirt. “Here.”

You don't fight with him this time because you’d rather wear his jacket down the street than a huge coffee stain on the front of your shirt. “Thanks.” is all you say, as you smile at him one last time. Turning and walking out the door not forgetting to sneak a few last-minute glances at him through the window.

The walk towards your school was like straight out of a movie. You’re grinning from ear to ear, giggling to yourself, and dancing along the sidewalk. Not caring for the strangers that were oddly staring at you.

You could say the coffee gave you energy but really it was the owner of the green varsity jacket you were wearing.

Then that’s when it hits you. You stop dead in your tracks realizing that you have no way to return the jacket after today since it isn’t promised that you’ll see him again.

Without thinking much you turn around and run back to the cafe, fingers crossed that he’ll still be there when you get there

You end up back in front of the cafe, panting and puffing but you still shuffle into the small shop and begin frantically searching for the boy.

He was already long gone, the cafe had picked up activity since you’d left but he was nowhere to be seen.

You’d encountered him four different times and even managed to get his jacket, but you still had yet to learn his name. The only thing you knew about him was that he read romance and that he likes coffee, parties, and apparently the color green.

“Whose jacket is that?” Winter asks from your bed, watching you cautiously hang up the varsity jacket in your closet. You hurry and close the door to restrict her view of the overgarment.

“I bought it the other day.” You spur

“Oh please, that is not your style.” Winter teases when you continue folding all the rest of your laundry.

“I just needed something really quick.” You miss when Gisselle goes into the closet behind you and pulls out the jacket.

“This is a man’s jacket.” She calls out, “I can still smell his cologne.”

“A man’s jacket?” Karina and Ningning suddenly appear out of thin air.

Squeezing your eyes shut before shoving your face into the palms of your hands, you wish you could disappear right there and then. There’s no point in even trying to explain yourself. You doubt you’d even get through the story without smiling.

“Y/n honey, we need to talk.” Ningning reaches for your hand.

“talk?” You ask but get ignored by all four of your roommates. Karina and Winter both guide you to sit on your bed for whatever it is that Ningning has to say. She holds your hand as she looks at you to say “You’re forbidden from ever seeing him again.”

You cry “Wha- forbidden. you can’t do this.” You look around to the rest of the girls to defend you but they do absolutely nothing.

“We've already set you up on a date with your soulmate.” Ningning leans in front of you so you can turn your attention back to her.

“soulmate?” You question first but then circle back to the bigger problem. “A date?”

“You’ve led us to do this.”

“How is this my fault? I didn’t ask for this.”

“we’re worried for you, if you don’t start dating now then when?” Winter interjects.

“This is absurd, I don’t need to date.” You argue but it’s of no use because you still end up at the diner where the girls told you the date was gonna take place.

You’re not really dressed for a date, just a simple pair of jeans, some sneakers, and the oversized green varsity jacket that you acquired two days ago.

Wearing another guy's jacket on a date wasn’t ideal but neither was going on a date against your will.

It was by force obviously, you weren’t here because you wanted to be but because you had no other choice. Ningning threatened to burn all of your prized possessions if you spent less than 30 minutes with the man she’s been dying to set you up with.

Quite frankly you were starting to grow curious about this Sohee guy.

“Table 4” You murmur under your breath, it’s not hard at all to find the table. You knew this diner like the back of your hand since it’s the place that you and your roommates used as a hangout spot since your first year of university. However, you begin to question yourself when you see a familiar face sitting at the table where your date’s supposed to be.

“What are you doing here?” You stop and question.

The bow stands up when he notices you approach him “I’m here to see you.”

“You can’t be here, I have a date.”

“With Sohee?” He asks, but it sounds more like a statement to you.

You’ve seen this before. (not from personal experience of course.) You’re getting stood up by a man you’ve never even met. The funniest part is you never wanted to go on this date in the first place. “Did he bail at the last minute?”

“I don’t think we’ve ever gotten a chance to properly introduce ourselves.” The boy speaks,

“If he’s not coming we don’t need to waste our time, I completely understand.” You halfway turn to leave before he blurts “I’m Sohee.” He holds his hand out.

This was a twist you didn’t even see coming. Looking at him with his hand held out towards you, all you can think about is Ningning trying to convince you that you and him were “written in the stars.”

“Oh, you’re Sohee.” You repeat followed by a laugh of embarrassment. “Sorry about that, I thought-” You’re getting ready to explain yourself but decided against it.

“Do you wanna sit down?” Sohee asks, only after watching you stare nervously at the chair in front of you.

“Oh yeah, that’d be smart.”

Awkward is when you take ten minutes staring at the menu because you thought that would be better than staring at the boy in front of you. Taking your time to read the food items, ingredients, and even calories (which you couldn’t care less about.) Especially when you already knew what you were gonna order anyway. The same thing you always order, A burger with a side of fries and a lemonade.

“I’ve never seen you this shy before.” Sohee interrupts your thoughts as he pulls the menu from your hands.

“I’m not shy, I’m just trying to figure out what I wanna eat.” You spit, pulling the menu back so you can finish wasting time. 10 minutes down, 20 more to go.

“I’m guessing you don’t go on lots of dates.” He continues. You wanna yell at him for talking too much while you’re trying to read, but you don’t. You don’t get the chance to, as soon as you open your mouth the waitress comes out with food.

“We haven’t ordered yet.” You look up to the kind waitress.

“I ordered for you, I wasn’t sure what you might’ve wanted so I just got you a burger.” As if on cue the server places a burger right in front of you, with a cup of lemonade to match.

You wanted to hate him, but boy was he making it so hard.

“If you already ordered, why did you let me spend so much time looking at the menu?” You ask when the waitress leaves.

“In case I got something you didn’t like.” He says casually, reaching for his fork.

Either you're just very simple or he’s made to be the love of your life. it could be both.

“You didn’t have to walk me home.” You’re looking at the ground, watching how your footsteps are in sync with his. It’s pretty dark outside so naturally it’s colder, but for some reason, it doesn’t bother you.

“I wanted to.” He says simply, and the look in his eyes tells you that he’s being sincere.

It falls silent again, still awkward but this time it’s a comfortable awkwardness. And now that you kinda got to know him you realize that he’s not nearly as bad as you thought he was. So much for first impressions.

“We’re here.” You stop right in front of your apartment building, standing on your tippy toes and landing back on your heels.

He first takes a glance at the semi-tall building and then back down at you, who's trying to look anywhere else but him.

“Thank you for agreeing to see me tonight.”

“yeah of course.” You nod even though you were completely against the idea.

“I had fun.”

“Me too.” You nod again.

“So I guess I'll just see you around?” You can tell he’s just stalling now.

“I’ll definitely see you around.” you giggle.

“I guess it’s time for you to go now.”

“I guess so.” you agree

“Well, goodnight.”

“goodnight Sohee.” you watch him walk away, but he’s taking his sweet time. dragging his feet along the ground the farther he walks away from you. You almost find it amusing how dramatic he’s being.

As you get ready to walk in and you grab the ends of the jacket you're wearing you realize that this is the perfect opportunity to return it.

“oh, Sohee.” You only have to call out once for him to come running back to you as if he never left.

“yeah?”

“Your jacket.” He stops you when you’re halfway through pulling it off.

“Keep it, it looks good on you.”

“Are you sure?”

“goodnight, Y/n,” He says last, walking away and leaving you with his jacket.

“How’d it go? What happened? Isn’t he cute?” Ningning bombards you with questions when you first step foot through your door.

“he’s tolerable” You kick off your shoes and throw them off to the side. Then you reach to pull your jacket off, sliding it down your shoulders and hanging it up once you reach your bedroom.

“That’s great, it’s an improvement.”

“If you say so.”

“Did he say anything about the jacket? I told you not to wear the jacket.” Ningning mumbles

“I bet he smelled the other man’s cologne.” Giselle snickers as she walks by.

“He said it looks good on me.” The room goes quiet and everyone stares at you...” Ningning watches you, jaw slacked and dilated pupils.

“Y/n has a boyfriend, Y/n has a boyfriend.” It takes them not even ten seconds to form a circle around you and begin dancing like school children on the playground.

Your favorite time of day is when the sun begins to set. When the sky is painted in shades of orange and pink the birds fly over the sky. Your bedroom is flooded with the natural lighting of the sky, matching the mood of the jazz you have playing in your headphones.

For a moment you sit and gaze out of your window, observing the people walking the streets below you, watching the cars drive past and the trees that sway in the direction of the wind. All of these things distract and entertain you, yet they still remind you of the boy you're trying so hard to forget.

You stand up and close the blinds of your apartment. Blocking out all light, your room drifts into complete darkness, with only peaks of light shining through the cracks.

That’s how it stays when you walk into the kitchen with the rest of your roommates.

‘Oh, there she is.” Karina dramatically announces your appearance when you shuffle into the crowded space. Taking a seat on the stool next to her.

“How come you don’t talk to us anymore?” Giselle asks

“You are being dramatic, we talked this morning.”

“You only asked me if I knew what you did with that hideous green jacket.” She scoffs

“It’s not hideous, you just have no taste.” You playfully scold.

“Whose jacket is that anyway?” Winter speaks up, digging in the fridge to pull out the orange juice. Wincing when Ningning slaps her arm for drinking out of the carton instead of grabbing a cup like everyone else.

“Mine.” You answer.

“No but actually?” Giselle asks, just as curious as the rest of the girls who are all watching and waiting for you to answer the question honestly.

“Some guy let me borrow it because I spilled coffee on myself.” You leave out quite a few details but you’re sure what they don’t know won’t hurt them.

“Okay so wait? Some random guy gave you his jacket-” Winter starts but Karina finishes “And you accepted it.”

“I didn’t wanna walk around with coffee stains.” You shrug.

“This is great, this is great. You’ll just go downstairs and explain that to Sohee so he won’t get the wrong idea.” Ningning claps as she gradually gets closer and tugs at your arm. Completely missing how blatantly confused you are.

“Downstairs?”

“Yeah, in his apartment” She never stops tugging at your arm.

“Wait, he lives here?”

“Yeah? Unit 411.” Ningning finally registers just how confused you are. “Didn’t he tell you?”

Instead of answering her question you run out, leaving her and the rest of the girls as puzzled as you were a few moments ago.

Without thinking much you knock on the door, just to see if what Ningning said was true. But after you knock you start growing anxious, suddenly you can hear your heartbeat and your hands are frantically moving at your side.

In the span of 10 seconds, you check the unit number 12 times just to make sure that you have the right one, and you’re not knocking on someone else's door. Soon you start to wonder what would happen if someone else answered the door.

Just when you come to the conclusion to bail, you hear the doorknob turn and the door opens to reveal the boy you expected to see.

Unfortunately, now that you see him, you realize you hadn’t planned after this point. So you just stare at him eyes wide, unsure of what to say or do. You’re just as shocked as he is when he stares back at you with a matching expression.

You clear your throat before you take the initiative to speak first. “Why didn’t you tell me that you lived here too?”

He answers, “I didn’t wanna scare you.”

“Oh… that makes sense.” You nod, looking down at your pajama pants and bunny slippers.

“Do you wanna come in?” He holds the door open for you to accept his invitation but you shake your head and back up.

“No, I can't, I have to~” You struggle to come up with an excuse. “Finish my laundry.” You finish, nodding as if that’s gonna make him believe you.

“Okay, well, I’ll see you around then?”

“I guess it’ll be hard not to.”

You were never too fond of men.

While most people had a tragic backstory that led them to hate the things they hate, you didn’t.

You weren’t crossed by a man in your past resulting in your blatant hatred of the entire species. Sure you’d had unfavorable interactions with quite a few men in your life, but that wasn’t what led you to dislike them.

It took many years of observation for you to come to your conclusion on the male race. However it didn’t take long for you to learn a few things about them.

But the most important thing was, they were all the same.

That’s what you thought for years, every man, boy, guy, or male is the same. Yet, you find that your conclusion might not be entirely accurate.

Looking at Sohee you feel that he’s different from all the guys you’ve ever come across. He isn’t selfish, or obnoxious. He isn’t entirely full of himself.

He’s actually sweet and easy to be around.

Which was good for you because, since you found out that he lived within a few hundred feet from you he began to follow you around like a puppy.

Whether it was walking you to and from class, or even showing up to your apartment with breakfast.

It was off-putting at first,

You mindlessly strolled down the hallway of your apartment building. You weren’t thinking of anything other than the leftovers you were gonna eat when you finally got home.

Sohee however had different plans. The second you turned the corner you noticed him standing at your door with what looked like a bag of takeout.

Your body goes into shock before you can even comprehend what you’re doing. You hide behind the corner.

You think maybe that’ll buy you enough time to figure out what to do next. You take a deep breath before slapping your hand over your mouth.

You take a look at all the options you have. You could either sneak out through the stairs or you could take your chances with the elevator and hope that the girls aren’t on their way home.

“Who are we hiding from?” Sohee suddenly appears right beside you. Causing you to jump in horror, luckily you were able to come up with a lie on the spot.

“I was just… looking for my earring, I think I might've dropped it.” You pretend to look around for a nonexistent piece of jewelry.

“What does it look like? I'll help you find it.” Rather than making him help you look for something that you knew was never going to be found you concocted another lie.

“uh no it’s okay, they were getting old anyways.” You say, pressing your lips into a thin line.

“Oh well, do you wanna have lunch together?” He grins, holding up the brown paper bag in front of your face.

But over time you’d gotten used to it, and maybe even came to kind of like his dog-like personality.

“So you’re a man-hater” Sohee starts, despite knowing that you hated when people talked while you were reading.

He’s not necessarily an exception but you don’t get as mad about it when he does it. You continue reading, but you spare a moment to respond to him.

“I guess you can say that.” Your eyes are still glued to the words of the book.

“But you like me.” He continues, you make the mistake of pulling your gaze away from your novel, meeting the annoying smirk he has on his face.

You open your mouth to speak but he beats you to it. “You do know I'm a man right?”

“Yes, I know you’re a man. I have eyes.”

You watch his grin grow wider before you go back to reading your book. “And I don't like you, I just don’t hate you as much as the others.”

You say, even though you're sitting in his bed, your hair pushed up into a bun and your glasses hanging loosely above your nose. It’s a Saturday night, you could be doing skin care with your girls or binging cartoons on Netflix. But you chose to be here, in his room spending time with him.

To him, that said a lot.

“Woah, so you're in love with me.” Sohee jokes partly.

“How did you come up with that?” You laugh, turning on your side to face him better.

Sohee shrugs, “It’s a talent.” He wasn’t too far off. You often denied it whenever someone brought it up but if you were being honest. you were falling for him, faster and harder than you liked to admit.

The more you resisted, the easier he made it. There wasn’t anything you could do, it was inevitable.

Almost as if it was fate.

You laugh to yourself thinking about it, laying your book down and fully relaxing into the fluffy white pillows he has aligned on his bed.

You’re fighting against sleep, trying your hardest to keep your heavy eyelids open. Taking long blinks until you finally give in and let yourself fall asleep.

Sohee finally comes back with the water you asked him for but you’re already well into your slumber. He’s sure of it because when he gently calls your name all he gets in response is a soft snore.

Rather than waking you up, he pulls your glasses off, closes them, and lays them on the bedside table. He leaves for a brief moment to get you another cover, laying it over top of you and turning the lights off so you can rest peacefully. While he took the couch for the night.

“Where were you?” Ningning scolds. Not even letting you walk all the way in the door before she starts bombarding you with questions

“Do you know how long I stayed up waiting for you? I was worried sick.” She continues to yell at you when you finally squeeze past her and walk into the apartment.

“You went to sleep at nine.” Winter exposes her

“I was worried sick.” Ningning repeats, swinging her index finger around.

“I slept at Sohee’s.” You say almost in a whisper but Karina is somehow able to hear you all the way from her room.

“What?” She runs out, “You slept at a man's house? With a man?”

“Yes, and that’s all we did. So don’t get your expectations too high.” You scold, specifically pointing your finger at Ningning who’s bouncing with joy. You can already tell what she’s thinking before she even says it.

“No, we didn’t sleep in the same bed,”

The rain outside sounds more like a hail storm than anything else. You just wait by the entrance of the school and contemplate if you wanna walk home in this weather.

The sound of the heavy wind isn’t so convincing but the boy waving at you with a bright smile might be enough to sway you.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, mindlessly walking into the rainstorm to meet him face to face.

“I came to walk you home.” He responds, his smile unwavering.

“You shouldn’t have, you’re all wet now and it’s cold you’re gonna get sick.” You’re scolding him but he’s still grinning at you like an idiot.

“I wanted to.” Is all he says locking eyes with you.

The rain could be snow, the sky might be purple but his eyes, you’re sure are brown. A brown that can only be seen with the help of the sun. Now that the sun was nowhere to be found they were so dark it could be categorized as black.

You find them the most mesmerizing at this moment. You’re staring at him and he’s staring back at you. That’s when you take the opportunity to see how his lips feel, closing in the space in between you that not even a drop of rain can fit through.

Isn’t it crazy how love can be found in the strangest of places, who would’ve thought you’d fall head over heels for the weirdo you met in a coffee shop?

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promise-you-doie · 23 days

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Okay so I have this story idea and I would love someone to use this because I don't know how to write it myself.

You're best friends with Mark, you grew up together and have been joined at the hip since forever. Everyone knew you as a package deal. if they saw one they saw the other.

Now Marks had a very crush on you as well and you knew about it in middle school but you didn't like him back so he tried to suppress his feelings. He failed at doing so but he didn't say anything to you because he was scared of rejection again. You just assumed he got over his crush and continued to see him as your best friend.

Mark has a younger brother Jeno, who basically runs him. Jeno's known to have multiple girls and make fun of his older brother.

You never really paid Jeno any attention and he always overlooked you because to him you were just some nerd who hung out with his older brother.

Eventually, you notice Jeno's attraction to you starts to grow, like he's being nicer but in a condescending way, You don't think too much of it at first. until you realize a pattern.

Then one day he approaches you, one thing leads to another and suddenly you sleep with your best friend's little brother.

You freak out about it at first and you're all like "This shouldn't happen again." blah blah blah but it does happen again. In fact, it happens so many times that you start to develop feelings for him.

You become so hellbent on keeping it a secret from Mark but Jeno is all like "He's your best friend, he should be happy that you're happy." or something like that.

Then one day you're hanging out with Mark and jeno is blatantly flirting with you. But what bothers Mark is how much you're blushing about it.

he finally gets annoyed and says "So when are you gonna tell her about the bet?"

And you can end it however you like, I just really want someone to write this and tag me if you do.

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promise-you-doie · 24 days

Text

my only goal in life is to be someone’s favorite fan fic writer

#promise-you-doie

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promise-you-doie · 2 months

Text

Second Time | P. Jisung

warnings: none

not proofread, a few grammatical errors

the first time Jisung met you, you had left an imprint on his brain. You weren’t really too different from everyone else he’d met, at least that’s what he kept telling himself.

But really, it wasn’t making sense.

He just couldn’t understand why he kept thinking about you so much, the sweet vanilla perfume you were wearing, and the cherry red lipgloss that stained your pretty puffy lips. Your soft voice and gentle doe eyes.

“Do you need help?” He asks when he sees you reaching for the butterfly encyclopedia on the top shelf. It was then that he noticed the variety of butterflies that you have stamped on you. The silver butterfly claw clip tying half your hair up, the blue butterfly print decorating the front of your shirt, the butterfly necklace hanging around your neck, and the butterfly ring wrapped around your right ring finger.

“No, I got it.” You reply, continuing to reach for the book over the top of your head. yet jisung doesn’t take your “no” for an answer and easily lifts his arm above you to slide the book back out and lower it down to where you can reach it.

You were thankful but shy, so you murmured a “thanks, but I could’ve gotten it myself.”

and Jisung responds with “You’re welcome.” Smiling at your awkward pout. Usually, he was nervous around strangers but something about you compelled him, he wanted to know more. He needed to know more.

Unfortunately, you ran away before he could say anything else or introduce himself.

It took two months for him to see you again.

for the entire two months you occupied his thoughts, every time he saw a butterfly or moth your face came to his mind. Anytime he smelled a vanilla scent he thought of you, when he saw the color red he was reminded of the red lipgloss that covered your lips.

He found himself mindlessly doodling butterflies in his notes and even sitting by the encyclopedias in the student library hoping to see you again. But it’d end up the same every day. He’ll be left slightly kicking his feet against the library carpet and moping about the time he wasted waiting for you when he could’ve been working on his list of overdue assignments.

However it didn’t stop him from doing it again the next day, the day after that, and the day after that.

After so much time had gone past he figured he’d just give up. So he told himself this was the last time, after this he’d continue his life and pass you off as a mere dream.

an hour had passed and then two hours had passed and then three. Jisung looked around in his seat, scanning the entire library from his view. And when he didn’t see you he let out a deep sigh and stood up the chair. Collecting his bag and laptop, he headed towards the exit.

Maybe you were just a dream, a really good dream.

Maybe he’ll be lucky enough to meet you again in a dream, maybe he’ll get your name next time, maybe he’ll get to know more about you.

As he opens the door to the library someone comes rushing in, accidentally running face first into Jisung’s chest and dropping their book on the floor right below his feet.

“I’m sorry.” The soft and familiar voice is the first thing Jisung notices, the butterfly encyclopedia laying on the floor is the second. And the warm sweet vanilla scent was the third. He reaches for the book before you do, securing it tightly in his hands so that you can’t just grab it and run like you did once before.

“thank you” you mutter, hoping that would make him loosen his grip on the book.

It doesn’t.

He refuses to let go until he sees your face. Until he’s sure that it’s you and that you’re real. not some enchanted being that he’d made up in a dream.

When you raise your chin, and lock eyes with his. He knows more than ever that you’re real.

The first time he met you he couldn’t get you off his mind, the second time he met you he knew he was already in love.

“My name is Jisung.” He speaks without any hesitation.

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promise-you-doie · 4 months

Text

Sweet misery | Mark lee

Mark x reader (established relationship)

around 900 words

Angst if your weak, teeny bit suggestive, toxic relationship.

not proofread

A/n: it was originally inspired by misbehave - monsta x but i think it’s kinda more sweet misery - shinee coded.

My first nct fanfic yay~

It’s midnight, 1:22 am to be exact.

The wind is flooding in through the window, brushing past the exposed skin of your leg. You’d spent so long crying that you couldn’t get another tear out even if you wanted to. Now your head is just throbbing and it’s hard to tell if it's because of the sobbing you’d just done or if it’s because of all the alcohol you consumed. It might have been both.

It’s 1:22 in the morning and your boyfriend is nowhere to be found. No calls, no text, nothing. Lord knows where he could be, he could be cheating or maybe he’s over at a friend's, he might be at a bar or he might be working late. It’s left to your imagination because he hasn’t told you anything. You doubt he will, he’ll probably sneak in like he always does when he’s sure you're fast asleep. And wake up in the morning as if everything’s fine.

Now what’s worse? The fact that you allow him to do it every time, scotch free and pretend that it doesn’t bother you? Or the fact that you stay up every night with tears dried to your face waiting for him to come back?

Neither.

It’s the fact that you’ve stayed up all of those nights telling yourself that it was gonna be the last. The last time you allow yourself to be treated like this.

Your heart skips a beat when you hear the doorknob turn. You’re not sure if you should hide or pretend to be asleep. Your muscles make that decision for you when you stand up, both of your feet planted on the floor. Your breath hitched and your eyes wide open, gazing at the boy who walks in front of you.

“Oh man, you’re awake?” He unintentionally stomps into your shared apartment. You try to read him but you can’t. He’s walking and talking perfectly fine, so you know he’s not intoxicated. His hair is somewhat neat or better yet not messy. And his clothes look almost the exact same way as he walked out this morning. So maybe he’s not cheating.

“Where were you?” you mumble barely enough for him to hear you.

“I was with Johnny.”

“What about last night? and the night before that?” You’re on the verge of tears. He hadn’t even answered the question yet but you’re already recoiling. And he sees it.

“Are you crying?” He reaches for your cheeks to dry your tears, not even acknowledging your question. Half of you appreciates that much, you were already crying, you don't know how you’ll react once he tells you the truth.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, relishing the way his hands feel. They’re kind of rough and bruised but it doesn’t bother you at all since this is the most he’s touched you in probably a month.

“I was giving you some space. Like you asked.” He almost whispers. Your eyes flutter open and meet his immediately, that’s how you know he’s being honest. You know he is but you’re still doubtful.

You asked for space and some time to think. Now that he was giving it to you, you felt neglected.

“Doesn’t it bother you that we can only talk to each other when we’re arguing?” You think aloud. Watching the way his face contorts into confusion.

“All of our conversations end with ‘I hate you’ and we never fail to throw things at each other,” you add

“What are you trying to say?”

“We’re a mess, Mark.”

“Okay, and that’s why we’re together. I’d rather fight with you than with anyone else.” He kneels down in front of you when you plop down on the couch. Tears welling in his eyes, he blinks them back and grabs onto your hand so you know how sincere he is.

“I need you, Y/n. I really do, I don’t think you understand that.”

“This can’t be healthy.” You say, looking off to the side so you don’t have to face him. That way you won’t feel as bad for what it is you’re about to say.

“We’re not perfect, but name one person who is? We’re gonna argue then we’re gonna make up and argue again. But my love for you is never gonna fade.” Mark never let go of your hand.

“I think we should break up.” You whisper, eyes closed and fresh warm tears streaming down your cheeks.

“What do you want? I’ll do anything, anything you want anything but that. Baby please.” His tears match yours, his grip on your hand is tighter now and you feel like you should’ve just pretended to be asleep.

“This isn’t working, this can’t be what love is supposed to feel like. We should just-“ Mark shushes you with a kiss. It was his way of avoiding topics he didn’t wanna talk about.

Conversations like this always ended with the both of you tangled in sheets, muttering a bunch of “I love you’s” and “I’m sorry.” You’ll make a promise to never talk about splitting up again and he’ll promise to never give you a reason. But ultimately you both fall through on your promises.

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promise-you-doie · 5 months

Note

i’m in love with the antinitonny, can you do long anton fic? 🥺

Memories | L. Anton

Summary: it's the last summer before you start college and you and you plan to make the most of it. Word count: 15k Pairing: Anton x Reader Genre: friends to lovers. Fluff. Angst. Suggestive. Warnings: mentions of sex, mentions of drugs and alcohol. maybe some cuss words, slow burn. (like extremely slow)

Youth. The stage of life where you're bound to make mistakes, and memories. You meet the people you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with, and learn valuable lessons to teach when you’re old and bound to a rocking chair.

Adults always tell you to enjoy your youth and for once you actually plan on listening to them.

“Eunseoks here.” you run down the stairs after seeing his car pull into the driveway from the window of your room. “He’s here.” you yell once again heading towards the kitchen where your mom is.

Before you could yell again, He and sungchan walk through the door pulling suitcases behind them. You quickly open the fridge and pretend as if you’re completely unaware of their presence.

“Are those my boys?” your mom asks while walking into the living room to greet them, welcoming them both with a nice warm hug. “Your sister is waiting for you in the kitchen.” you hear her say while eavesdropping on their conversation

“Doesn’t my little sister miss me?” He slightly yells as he walks into the kitchen where you are. It’s been almost 5 months since you last saw your older brother, so yes of course you miss him. Even if he was annoying and unfun to be around.

“Oh hey Eunseok, I didn’t know you were here.” You speak nonchalantly. “Really? I saw you peeking from the upstairs window.” He exposes you

“Uh…” You stumble to find anything to say.

“I see you still haven’t changed.” He laughs.

“Why would I change? It's only been five months.” You question while peeling the orange you pulled out of the fridge. “What have you been up to?” he asks as he takes the orange out of your hand to peel for you, because you had a habit of biting your nails so you could never tear the skin to even begin to strip the orange.

“Nothing really, I’ve just been worrying about starting college.” You sigh. “There’s nothing to worry about, You’re smart you’ll be fine. Just remember like I said, don’t fall-” “Fall into the wrong crowd and stay away from drugs.” You finish.

“See you got it.” He congratulates you by handing you back the now naked orange. Eunseok being your older brother, you always received life talks from him, even if you didn’t know what he was talking about. He took his role very seriously even though he was only 3 years older than you.

“Y/n, How are you?” Sungchan walks in thankfully to redirect the conversation from turning into another unwanted life lesson.

“Sungchan!” you gleam as you head over to him for a small hug. He was as much your friend as he was Eunseoks, the three of you grew up closely together so you could basically just consider him your other brother. “How come I don’t see your boyfriend running around here?” he asks suddenly.

“We aren’t dating, and I don’t know. I guess he’s busy today.” You shrug your shoulders. As if on cue you hear the doorbell ring and instinctively you know exactly who it is. “Y/N Anton is here.” You hear your mom yell from the living room. You find no use for either of the men in the kitchen anymore as you hurry towards the door to see your best friend of 6 years.

“Hey?” You greet him happily. “Is he here? Well I'm guessing he is. I see his car.” He says shyly

“Just come in dummy.” You roll your eyes and back up from the door so he can fully walk in. He slips his shoes off before he follows you to the kitchen. “Oh there he is.” eunseoks laughs deeply when he addresses Anton. “Hey, you’ve gotten taller?” Sungchan asks while inspecting him. “No.” Anton says, shaking his head. “Are you sure, I don’t remember you being taller than me?” Sungchan adds measuring himself against him.

“You ask this question every time you see him.” you laugh at sungchan, “That’s because he gets taller every time.” Sungchan argues back.

“Shouldn’t you know if he’s gotten taller? He’s your boyfriend.” he teases.

“We’re not dating,” You whine, but it’s not really convincing anyone.

“Yet.” He adds.

“Alright you two.” Eunseok jumps in before you could throw anything at him, like you always do whenever you start arguing with him. “Eunseok, do you know you’re the best brother in the world.” You smile sweetly at him, buttering him up with your fluttering eyelashes.

“What do you want?”

“The keys to your car.” You say without any spaces, still fluttering your eyelashes and holding your hands together. “Pretty pretty please.” You add hoping to persuade him. And you know you’ve done it because he rolls his eyes and pulls the keys out of pocket to dangle them on top of your palms that you have held out for him.

“No-”

“Texting and driving, yes I know.” You say before he tries and sneak in yet another unsolicited life lesson. “And-” “call you if anything happens.” You say in monotone looking off to the side. “Hmm, Maybe I shouldn’t give them to you.” he begins but you stop him to beg. “No please please, I’ll call you if anything happens and I’ll keep my eyes on the road, I won’t even blink.” You plead.

“Woah, but if you don’t blink your eyes will get dry and then yo-” “Shut up idiot.” You slap his arm and turn back to eunseok. “I’ll be careful, I promise.”

“FIne.” he says before he places the keys into your hands. “I expect to see my car in one piece when I wake up in the morning.” “Yes sir.” You nod your head, before grabbing Antons arm and pulling him out of the door.

The two of you end up in a random parking lot staring up at the stars. It’s silent for the first few moments. The only thing playing is the slow music coming from inside the car. There’s not really anything to say, with you and Anton being friends for so long you found that the both of you already knew everything there was to know about each other.

So silences like this were comforting to you. Just being in each other's presence was enough for the both of you. “I love this song.” you say quietly.

“Are you scared?” He ask randomly completely catching you off guard,

“Scared of what?” You finally turn to him. “I don't know, we'll be starting college soon, and I know things are gonna change, I’m just worried we’re gonna grow apart.” He explains.

“We thought this same thing about highschool, and besides look at sungchan and eunseok. They’re still really close.” You say trying to calm his worries.

“But they’re both guys. What happens when we start dating people? And we don’t have time for each other.” He continues, “I don’t know, I’m probably just overthinking.”

“How about this,” You say sitting up to show that you were serious about what you were going to say next. “We make every second of this summer count, that way if college does draw us apart, We’ll still always have memories together.”

“Deal.” He says as he smiles and links his pinky with yours.

The best way to make memories is to try something you’ve never tried before, and something that neither you or Anton have ever tried was alcohol. So that seemed like the perfect place to start. Now there was a small dilemma with this, no one in your family were drinkers. So the chances of you getting access to alcohol was extremely slim.

Luckily you had a plan.

“Where are we supposed to get fake IDs from?” Anton asks when you explain to him how the both of you were going to sneak into a bar down in the city. “Where else?” You respond with a smirk that he finds both scary and intriguing.

“Oh hey sungchan.” You say casually as you waltz into the kitchen. “sup.” he bobs his head towards you.

“just out of peak curiosity, you wouldn’t know where to get an ID would you?”

“i might know someone, depending on who’s asking.” he cocks an eyebrow up to you.

“Anton and I just need one for this event that’s happening downtown. Do you think you can get it to us by next week?”

“I can get it to you by tomorrow.” he says

“But Eunseok can’t find out about this.” you make it clear. “Of course not, do you think I'm crazy?” he asks, which warrants you to give him a knowing look. Wondering why’d he’d even ask that question as he was promising to get fake IDs to two 19 year olds.

“Don’t answer that.”

“When are you gonna start packing up?” Anton asks, looking around at your overly decorated room. There isn’t one empty space on your wall yet you always find space to hang up another poster.

“I don’t know, I might just do what Eunseok did and leave all of this stuff here.”

“Are you sure you can live without your collection?” He asks, pointing to the books you started collecting in middle school and were still accumulating.

“No, those are coming with me.”

“You know, you’re gonna have to move this stuff out eventually right?”

“I know, I’m just not ready to see this room empty again.” You ponder while looking around the room. Something about it just gave you extreme nostalgia, this is where you grew up. This is where you had your first sleepover and where you went when you had your first “heartbreak.” (You sat in your room and cried for days because you didn’t get tickets to see your favorite band.)

So seeing your room empty would really make things reality for you. Things really are changing, time is passing you by and you’re getting older.

“Special delivery.” You don’t have to check to know exactly who’s standing on the other side of the door. Sungchan lets himself in, just as he always does. Butting into your room as if it was his own. “Look what I got?” he holds up a yellow envelope right in front of your eyes.

“What is it?” Anton asks, walking up next to you.

“It’s our ID’s” you answer

“Our fake ones?”

“Shh” you and sungchan both shush him at the same time, and you hurry to close the door before Eunseok could hear anything.

“show me the stuff.” you whisper when Sungchan pulls out the ID and shows it to the both of you.

“Rachel owens?” you ask, looking at your ID. “You can’t reveal your real name. Quickest way to get caught.” he explains

“Okay but I don't know how believable Brad Murray is.” Anton says, still looking at the hard plastic card. “what are they gonna do, tell you you’re wrong.” Sungchan responds

“I don’t know, this whole idea just seems wrong. Maybe we should just wait till we’re of age to drink.” Anton says and it causes you and Sungchan to burst out into a laugh.

“Wait till we’re of age?” you laugh, slapping sungchans arm “Who does this kid think he is?” Sungchan adds.

“Exactly that, a kid. We’re both kids, and we should just be kids.”

“Fine, I'll just go by myself then.” you throw your hands up and head downstairs with sungchan following you and leaving Anton alone.

“I’m gonna head out.” You say casually passing by your mom and brother.

“you’re leaving, and you didn’t ask for my car?” Eunseok asks

“I won’t need it tonight, I'm taking an uber.”

“an uber, where are you going?” Eunseok asks, stepping up to you. “we’re going to catch a movie, but it’s pretty long so we’ll probably be tired on the way back.” Anton answers for you, thankfully because you were going to just tell him that you were going grocery shopping.

“Oh, Anton's going with you? enjoy your movie then.” You see that Eunseok loosens up when he realizes that Anton's tagging along with you and it makes you question. “Wait why'd you do that?” you turn to Eunseok

“Do what?”

“how come you didn’t ask questions when Anton said he was coming with me?”

“Because I trust anton.”

“you don’t trust me?” You ask genuinely but Anton doesn’t let you stick around to find out the answer because he’s dragging you out of the door. “I don't think he trusts me.” you say again

“he doesn’t, no one does.” Anton states before turning around, closing the door.

“You don’t trust me?” You ask repeatedly, still confused.

“no, that’s why I'm not letting you go out alone.”

you would argue more about how trustworthy you were but you knew that everything you were planning to say would have just been a lie. So you just get in the uber next to Anton and keep your mouth closed the entire ride.

well for most of the ride. “So why don’t you trust me?” you ask when everyone’s dead silent. “We’re going to a bar with Fake IDs. and whose idea was this?” he states and it pretty much sums up everything for you

“That's fair.” you shake your head

“Why do I let you drag me into these kinds of things?” He looks out of the window and you turn to him. “You dragged yourself into this.”

“I miss when we used to stay up playing mario kart, now we’re sneaking out to bars.” He sighs dramatically

“We just played mario karts an hour ago.” you remind him

“and i wanna go back.”

“I didn't force you to come with me anton.”

“as the oldest of the two of us, it’s my duty to make sure that you’re safe.”

“you’re only older by a few weeks.” you say

“I still need to make sure you stay safe.”

“If I wanted a bodyguard I would’ve just invited eunseok.”

“Alright then, let’s call him up.” Anton says as he pulls out his phone to call your brother. Before he even unlocks it you feel your heart drop and you smack the phone out of his hand causing it to drop on the floor.

He looks at the phone then he looks at you. “Why would you do that?”

"If Eunseok finds out about this he’ll kill me. I’ll never be allowed to touch his car again, he’ll never shut up about it. he’ll make me show up to college wearing a shirt that says, “I’m an underage drinker.” he’ll ground me for years.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you decided to go out and get us fake IDs.” He snaps back while bending over to pick his phone up off the floor.

“I just want us to do something different and new. Before we lose each other forever.” You force your voice to get lower, knowing that he’ll feel bad and lay off your case.

“We won’t lose each other forever, we’ll always be friends.”

“But we won’t be best friends. We've always wanted to get drunk together, this might be the last time we ever get to do that.” You mumble while looking out the window for dramatic effect.

“We’ve never talked about getting drunk together.”

“But we’ve always thought about it.”

“I’ve always thought about playing mario karts for 24 hours straight.”

Hearing his response catches you off guard, you completely forget that you were trying to emotionally manipulate him out of snitching to Eunseok. He notices when you slowly turn your head and side eye him. “Mario Karts?”

“You know what, maybe it’s a good thing we aren’t gonna be friends for long.” You add before he can say anything.

“This is why your brother trusts me more than he trust you.” he spits back

“You think that’s a flex? it just makes you boring.”

“You think I’m boring?" He asks aggressively.

‘I do. We all do.”

“Who’s we?” he pipes up.

“Me, sungchan, the uber driver.” You suddenly point to the man who’s been minding his business throughout the whole ride.

“You think I’m boring?” Anton looks away from you and to the man. “I don’t know you, but you sound very unfun to be around.” The unnamed speaks calmly while keeping his eyes on the road.

“Unfun?” Anton asks again.

“That’s what he said.” you chuckle

“I’m not unfun!” He pouts, leaning back in his seat with his arms crossed. You’re too amused to really argue back with him.

The rest of the car goes quiet yet again until Anton speaks up once more. “I hope you can hold your alcohol because I won't be carrying you back home.”

“I can hold my alcohol” you say confidently although you’re really unsure, since you’ve never had any alcoholic drinks.

The line to the club is just like you saw in the movies. It’s so long you think about just turning around and going back but Anton is still on his quest to prove just how fun he is, which is why he forces you to stand in the line with him. Until the both of you are face to face with a 7-foot-tall security guard who looks like he eats 5 dozen raw eggs and a horse for breakfast.

“IDs.” is all he says but it has your heart beating outside of your chest. Both of you are hesitant to pull out the fakes you have in your wallet. Yet, you still pull yours out first and show it to the man, Anton following your lead.

“This looks like a fake.” he says bluntly.

“A fake? ID? I didn’t even know those were real things.”

“Obviously they're not real, that’s the problem.” Anton begins to start yet another argument with you; however he’s quickly hushed when the security guard yells “Brad.” and Anton begins looking around trying to find out who he’s talking about. To which you just facepalm and whisper “He’s talking to you idiot.”

“Oh right, I’m Brad. Brad Murray, that’s me.” he straightens up.

It’s painfully obvious that the both of you are lying that you don’t even try to hide it anymore. With the security guard looking down at both of you, you’re sure he’s gonna turn you away but he just sighs and passes your IDs back.

“They don’t pay me enough for this.” he mumbles as he opens the rope to let you and Anton in. The music aggressively meets your ears before you even walk into the building. And you can smell the extreme scents of alcohol and whatever it is that people are doing inside of the place.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” stop in front of Anton, contemplating just going home. “Do you wanna go home?” He asks, and something about hearing him say makes you realize that’s not what you want to do. So you grab his hand and guide him all the way into the club where you could fully hear the music.

It’s so loud that you can feel it through your feet. There's so much going on you don’t even know where to start, and the flashing lights are starting to make you dizzy. But it all excites you, the music, the lights, the alcohol everything is so exciting to you.

“Let’s get drunk.” You yell to Anton first, but you don’t get a chance to go anywhere because he’s pulling you back by the hand that you still have intertwined with him. “Call me boring and unfun but I still don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Well then you don’t have to drink.” You state before attempting to walk away again but he just pulls you right back, not letting you step away. “I don’t want you to either.”

“Okay I won’t.”

“You promise?” he holds his pinky finger out to you, but you only stare at it. Pinky promises were very dear to the both of you, in the 6 years that you’ve been friends neither of you have ever broken a pinky promise. And You knew that if you made this promise, you very well didn’t have the intentions on keeping it.

“I promise.” You say looking off to the side, and failing to link pinkies with his.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by him as he nudges his finger out to you so you can solidify the promise. “Come one Anton, just this one time.” Staring at him until he finally gives in and sighs.

“Only one drink.’ He states firmly holding up his index finger to really drive his point. “Okay, fine. Only one.”

30 minutes had passed and you had drunk way more than the both of you agreed on, in fact you had sweet talked some random man at the bar into paying for your drinks. Completely missing the look that Anton gives you every time you take another sip.

Despite his annoyance with you, he still hasn’t let go of your hand. No matter how many times you tried to yank your hand away from him. Or tried talking and flirting with guys around you. He’d just pull you back towards him and claim you as his girlfriend so they wouldn’t try and take the initiative to flirt back.

“Isn’t this fun?” you slur resting your face against his back because you had lost your balance to stand up straight. “Are you having fun?” he asks, flipping the question back around on you.

“Mm hmm.” You bounce your head up and down. “Lots of fun.”

“How much have you had to drink?” He asks, already knowing the answer but wanting to make sure that you were keeping up with the amount of alcohol you were consuming. “I had umm 3.” you stumble in front of him and hold three fingers up with a big smile.

“No, you had this many.” He corrects while pulling up 7 more of your fingers.

“10?”

“It’s time to get you home.”

“I’m not ready to go home.” you state while trying to wobble away from him, when you do you walk face first into some random man's chest and giggle when you fall into his arms. “Hi, wow you’re tall.”

Anton thinks about just leaving you to face your own consequences but quickly changes his mind once he notices the strange man's hand placements and weird smile. There weren’t enough signs to show that he had bad intentions until he slipped his hands over your back jeans pockets and whispered something in your ear. That’s when Anton finally made the decision to jump in.

“Sorry about her, she’s really drunk right now.” Anton politely speaks while pulling one of your arms so you could go back towards him.

“She doesn’t seem too drunk.” The man says with his arm loosely around your waist.

“She’s 19.” Anton adds hoping that it’d be enough to pull the man off of you.

“Even better.”

He had to protect you, that’s what he kept telling himself the whole ride home. He did it to protect you, any other normal person would’ve also resorted to violence if their best friend was being inappropriately touched by a man almost twice her age.

He shouldn’t really feel bad, he knew you weren’t gonna remember anything when you woke up in the morning. You weren’t gonna remember how many drinks you had, or how you got home. And you definitely weren’t gonna remember how his knuckles got all bloody and bruised.

You turn onto your side and curve into a ball when he lays his blanket over top of you. It’s pretty dark but he can still make out small features of your face, and he can see when you open your eyes slightly to look at him.

“Go to sleep.” he says, but you just kinda smile.

“You’re really cute,” you say with a raspy voice, your eyes are too heavy to keep open but you try to do so anyways. Just so you can keep looking at the pretty soft spoken boy in front of you.

“I am so gonna make fun of you for this tomorrow.” He laughs but you don’t respond. You’ve already fallen back asleep and it doesn’t take too long for him to do the same, laying right beside you but leaving enough room in between the both of you.

When you wake up in the morning you feel an immense amount of pain coming from all over your body. You feel like you’ve been hit by a bus, or maybe even something bigger. A train. You don’t really have the strength to get up from your bed so you don’t even try. You just roll over and stare at the light blue painted walls.

It takes a good 2 minutes for you to realize that your walls aren’t blue, and that the large panda teddy bear sitting on your bed isn’t yours. In fact this bed isn’t yours either. This is when you finally gain enough strength to finally sit up, and look around. Seeing that this isn’t your room at all. Who’s room is it? You’re not sure. It looks very familiar like you should know but you really don’t.

In the time it takes to find out whose bed you're in, Anton walks in with a big warm bowl of your favorite oatmeal. “You’re awake.” He says when he sits down on the bed beside you.

“Unfortunately.” you take a breath of relief when you see his face.

“I made you oatmeal.” He places the bowl in front of you.

“Thanks.”

“Sorry I didn’t take you home, I figured you wouldn’t want your brother to see you drunk.”

“Was I that bad?” Your voice is still strained from the night before

“Yes.”

“Did I do anything weird?” you ask but you don’t know if you’re ready to hear the answer.

“You said I was cute.”

“You?”

“Trust me it was weird for both of us.” He lies.

“Let’s just pretend like last night never happened. I’m never touching an alcoholic beverage ever again.” You state while mixing up your oatmeal.

“Promise.” Anton asks with his pinky out towards you.

“I promise.” You make sure you seal the deal this time, looping your pinky around his and rocking your hand a little to show you were very serious.

“Good. cause it sucked having to carry you home.” He adds when you begin eating the oatmeal.

“You carried me?”

“Well how do you think you got here?” He questions, through his smile

“I’m still sobering up, my thinking skills aren’t up to date.”

“You know something, you’re actually kinda cute when you’re drunk.”

“Shut up.” you scream covering your ears so you don’t have to hear anything else he says.

You finally go back to your own home when the sun sets, that’s when you feel that you’re sober enough to face your brother without being suspicious. Although no matter how sober you are, you’re always gonna be suspicious around him.

“You’re back finally. How was the movie?” Eunseok greets you when you first walk in.

“Movie?” you question, so Anton answers for you.

“It was good for me atleast, but she fell asleep through most of it.”

“Oh, you guys went to a movie? That’s very romantic.” Sungchan asks as he walks into the living room stuffing his face with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Despite knowing that there wasn’t any movie.

Neither of you take the time to argue with him. But it doesn't stop him from continuing.

"Did you hold hands?"

“No!” you finally answer him, and you expect Anton to do the same but he only snickers behind you, leaving you to defend yourself.

“I'm glad you guys enjoyed your date, go start packing so we can head to dads old cabin” Eunseok casually jokes, and it almost irritates you

“It wasn't a date.” you stomp but it doesn’t help you at all because they all laugh when your voice squeaks.

“Is that why you’re wearing his shirt?” sungchan points out

you look down at the extremely oversized Harley davidson graphic tee that you have on. there isn’t even any explanation for this, sure you could tell them the truth. that you threw up all over your own clothes so he gave you his as a replacement. but it was probably best that you didn’t let your anger get the best of you this time.

So you proceed to change the subject instead. “We’re going to the cabin?”

“Yeah, we’re driving out there tonight. So hurry.” He rushes you.

The cabin belonged to your dad before he died, he liked it because it was hidden in the woods. Away from the city that your mom loved so much. It balanced perfectly because it was a 30 minute ride away from the house and he enjoyed a good drive.

He’d often go out there on the weekends with Eunseok and go fishing. While you stayed with your mom and visited the small boutiques nearby. That’s what influenced your father to leave the cabin to Eunseok seeing that he’d probably get more use out of it than you would.

The cabin was pretty outdated but it had enough room for the four of you to stay for a few nights. You weren’t too fond of the old place but what you did like was the lake in the back. You liked the way it mirrored the sky during sunrises. Or the way the moon reflected off the ripples of the water.

“okay so here are the rules.” Eunseok begins but he doesn’t get to finish because the rest of you are already grunting aloud.

“alright alright, I won’t go over the rules. because I assume all of us are adults and we would know how to behave ourselves.”

“Great, I'm sharing the room with Anton.” you call dibs by looping your arm around him and pulling him closer to you.

“you guys are never beating the dating allegations.” Sungchan mutters at how tightly you have your arm around Anton’s.

“You'll never kiss a girl in your life.” you spit at him

“At least my only love interest isn’t my best friend.” He gestures quotations around the word best friend.

“Okay okay.” Eunseok holds his hands out to stop an argument from growing. “It looks like we definitely need to go over the rules.”

“no need.” Anton speaks up. “we’ll be behaved.”

“Yes we will.” you add, resting your head on Anton’s shoulder to block out the faces that Sungchan makes to you from behind Eunseok.

“and you?” your brother turns to his friend.

“I'll be good.” He turns his attention away from you the second Eunseok looks at him.

“Alright, then we’ll call it a night.” Eunseok doesn’t expect for any of you to say anything else, so he walks away to his shared room with Sungchan and leaves you alone with Anton.

“We should go swimming.” you whisper when you’re sure Eunseok can’t hear you.``it’s 11 pm.” Anton tries to stop you.

“even better.”

“You can’t swim,” he tries again but it still doesn’t work.

he should’ve known better by now. This was the dynamic of your friendship. You'd come up with a crazy idea and he'd try to talk you out of it but fails every time.

You ease your way into the lake taking one step after another. The water is cold but the heat from the summer night helps your body adjust easily the more you walk in. Trying not to slip on the rocks until your body is completely submerged under water. your feet are still grounded so it helps keep your head at the water's surface.

“feels good.” you say looking up to Anton who isn’t convinced.

“If you drown, I'm not jumping in to save you.” he confirms with his arms crossed against his chest.

“I'm not gonna drown.” You continue swimming around

“good cause i’m not gonna save you.”

“You should get in.”

“It’s dark, there’s probably snakes in there,” It’s obvious that he wants to but he refuses. instead taking a seat on the dock where the little old is so that he could just watch you swim by yourself.

which you do for a while, pushing your arms around you to keep yourself afloat. There’s nobody to accompany the two of you other than the singing owls and blue white light of the moon.

“You’re so boring.”

“That's not gonna work this time, the last time you tried that trick I had to fight some guy.”

“you fought someone?” you ask trying to float back

“It wasn't a real fight, I just punched him a few times. I don’t really know if I could call it a fight because he didn’t hit back. well, he didn’t get the chance to.”

He begins to start mumbling to himself and misses the fact that you haven’t been responding. When he finally notices and looks up in your direction, all he can see is your hands waving in the air as if you need help.

but you always play stupid tricks like these so he just laughs at you, assuming that this was another one of your pranks. “I'm not falling for that.”

“you’re a bad actor.” he continues to laugh at how committed you seem to be to this bit. However after 12 seconds he observes that you’ve been underwater for some time. which starts to worry him.

“Y/n?” he calls out just once, and immediately jumps in when you don’t respond. Swimming right to you and picking you up in his arms so you can catch some air first. You have to cough the water out of your lungs before you could even get a breath of air. Chest heaving up and down and your eyes closed tightly shut as she swims you back to the dock and sits you down.

You’re still coughing when he pulls himself out of the lake to sit down besides you and make sure you’re okay. Which he had told you already that he wasn’t gonna do. And he doesn’t just stop there. He leaves you by yourself for a little bit but only to go get a few towels that he can wrap around you, and dry you off himself.

Almost drowning took a lot of your energy so you don’t do anything to help him help you, You just stare at him while he takes the towel to dry your hair. Neither one of you says anything for a while until he carries you back into the cabin and lays you down on your side of the bed.

“Now you’re gonna have dreams about drowning.” He laughs and sit up to dry himself off.

“I wasn’t drowning, I was just trying to do a cartwheel underwater.” you lie, leaned back against the pillow and watching him remove his extremely soaked shirt.

“Sure you were.”

“I really was.” you try to defend yourself again, but he still doesn’t believe you. There’s no use in acknowledging that he literally saved your life. Because even though you were very grateful you already knew he would, and also this was going to be something else that he’s never going to shut up about.

“What would you do without me?”

“You might’ve saved my life once...”

“twice.” he corrects

“don’t flatter yourself.” you smile, gently smacking his arm.

Anton wakes up in the morning to find that you’re sitting by the window, staring at the way the sunrise shines off the lake. Your chin is rested on your knees, which are pressed to your chest and chained together by your arms.

“You’re up early.’ Anton crawls to the part of the bed where you are and sits besides you. Close enough to where you can lay your head on his arm. “I love the sunsets up here.” You speak low enough for it to be classified as a whisper.

To which he hums to show that he acknowledged what you had said. But there is just something about sitting in silence with each other that the both of you love. Nothing has to be said and there aren’t even any thoughts. But just knowing that he’s there right next to you is more comforting than anything else in the world.

“Wait, did you really fight someone?” You question suddenly lifting your head from his arm.

“It’s no big deal.” He brushes off, however you don’t buy it as you angle your entire body towards him. “Anton, you could’ve died.”

“No, actually I- wait what are you trying to say?”

“You can’t fight, even I can pin you down.”

“That’s because I always let you win.”

“Sure.” you say rolling your eyes.

“I can prove it.” he stands up in front of you. As if he’s actually ready to start a wrestling match.

“There’s no-” You don’t get to say anything because he’s begun playfully attacking you. “You don’t have to prove anything.” you yell in your defense while still putting all your force into holding him down just as you always do.

Yet this time is different, and you realize that when he hovers over top of you with both of your arms pinned to the bed right above your head. You weakly try to pull yourself out but it doesn’t work. And then you make the mistake of looking up at him, your heart jumping when you do.

His face is unusually close to yours, so close that you stop breathing and you feel like you have nowhere else to look but at him. The both of you are too stunned to say anything at first, and when you finally take the initiative to speak first, it comes out almost in a whisper.

“Okay you win.”

“Yeah.” He says looking away from your eyes and down at your lips.

“So you can get off of me now.” You say once again trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach and the underlying urge to see if his lips feel as soft as they look.

“Yeah, sorry.” he mutters while rolling off of you and taking a seat besides you, neither of you say it but you both make a mental note to never speak of that interaction again.

“Are you hungry?” he asks while avoiding eye contact.

“A little, I’ll go see If Eunseok is awake.” You say quickly jumping off the bed and running towards the door.

It’s night two of three, when you walk into the room where Anton is seated on the bed trying to get through a 3 minute video, that seems longer because it won’t stop buffering every 10 seconds due to the very bad wifi connection.

You turn and lock the door behind you before getting Antons attention. “Wanna try this?” You ask, holding up the plate of brownies.

“A brownie? Sure.”

“No but it’s not any brownie, It’s a magical brownie.” you add, to make sure that he knew what he was getting himself into. “Magical? Like Jack's magical beans?” He asks while reaching for a brownie.

“No you idiot, they’re edibles.”

“Where’d you even get these from?” He asks.

“Sungchan gave them to me.” You answer while splitting the brownie and passing the smaller half to him.

“He said we shouldn’t eat the whole thing.” You add before taking a bite and watching him take his.

“But why would he give us four of them if we can’t eat the whole thing?” Anton asks

“Maybe I heard him wrong.” You think aloud.

By the time you finished eating all of the brownies you definitely felt the effects. Sitting legs crossed in front of Anton and just staring at him until you swore you could see his thought bubbles. “You know something…” You say leaning in closer to him, still analyzing the small features of his face.

“You have a really big nose.” You finish while tilting your head to the side.

“You have really pretty eyes.” He combats

“Okay.” You say ignoring his complement. Walking on your knees to sit directly on his lap.

“What are you doing?” He’s confused but his hands go directly to your waist to keep you bound. “Let’s have sex.” You say.

“What?”

“You don’t wanna go into college a virgin do you?” You try to convince him.

“I’m not a virgin.” He states questionably. So questionably that if you didn’t already know, you would’ve known from his tone alone that he was in fact a virgin.

“Yeah right.”

“I’m not.” He lies again.

“Shut up and kiss me.” You yell and he obeys, well partly. He only places a small kiss on your lips and finishes with a pat using the tips of his fingers.

“Wow?” you mutter

“I know, I’m a great kisser.” He boast on himself

“No, You suck.”

“Like you know? You’ve never kissed anyone.”

“No, but I know that’s not how you do it.” You say still sitting in his lap with your hands on each of his shoulders.

“Well you show me how it’s done.” just as fast as he finishes your lips are on his.

Giving him your first kiss and initiating a 30 minute make out session. Until you both fall asleep on the floor, with you wrapped in his arms.

Falling asleep in his arms wasn’t new. You’d done it plenty of times. however, in those many times, you were completely sober. So you never had to question whether or not you guys had sex.

You’re not naked, you know that much. so that must mean that nothing happened. but you very much remember telling him that you guys should have sex, and your last memory of the night was making out on the floor until you started to think that you might actually like him as more than a friend.

“we didn’t… do anything right?” you ask sitting up and looking back down at him.

“I don't remember.” he replies

“Neither do i.”

“The edibles aren’t supposed to plague or memory right?”

“I don't think so.”

and then it goes silent for a minute. right before the both of you start arguing.

“we had sex, oh my god i can’t believe i had sex with you.” you get up and start pacing

“Well you’re the one who came up with the idea.”

“I was high! plus you agreed. Why did you agree?”

“I was also high.”

“our friendship is ruined, we can’t ever speak to each other again.”

“Wait. really?” he pauses to look at you.

“don’t you understand what this means? we’ll fall in love with each other. it’s inevitable. there’s no solution.”

“We could just date.” he blurts out and stares at you as if he’s waiting for a legitimate answer.

“Why would we do that?” You say after staring at him in silence.

“doesn’t it just make sense?” he throws his hands up.

“no it doesn’t, we don’t like each other.”

“Well, what do you suggest?” He plops down on the bed.

“We should forget about it.”

To make matters worse, sungchan walks in right when you’ve started to calm yourself down about the idea of ruining your friendship.

“oh by the way i forgot to warn you guys, the brownies are high in… something that makes you horny. but you don’t have to worry about it, you guys are immune to that stuff.”

“yeah… we don’t have to worry about it.” You try to convince him but it doesn’t work.

“You had sex didn’t you?”

“no.” “yes.” you and Anton say at the exact same time, turning to look at each other before changing your answers.”yes.” “no”

“We don't know.” you answer solo this time. “I remember suggesting it and then we… I don't wanna talk about it.”

“Well, there’s only one thing left to do now.” Sungchan walks in fully and closes the door behind him. you don’t know what he’s about to say but you know it’s serious. “You have to date now.”

“That's what I was saying.” Anton says, throwing his arms up.

“No.” You turn and point your index finger to him and then back to Sungchan. “No.”

“No, we’ll just pretend like nothing happened, and Eunseok will never ever find out about this.”

Your plan to keep Eunseok from finding out wasn’t particularly solid. You walk out to the living space where he’s setting out the dishes for breakfast. He's not the best cook but it’s at least edible, sometimes. you’d usually tease him about it, but you’re caught completely off guard when he goes “there you guys are, I was worried something happened with all the noise you were making last night.”

“uh…” Anton stumbles across his words, he’s standing like a deer stuck in headlights.

“We were practicing, hand…stands.” You start to think of a lie to explain the noise he heard yesterday.

“Handstands?” Eunseok doesn’t even look at you.

“He doesn’t know how to do a handstand.” you say pointing to Anton.

“That’s a relief I thought you were doing something else.” He still isn’t facing you. But he knew the exact reaction he was gonna get from you.

“Something else?”

“He’s a boy, you’re a girl. You like boys, he likes girls.” He explains.

“We didn’t have sex.” You blurt out suspiciously

“I didn’t say you did.”

“But if we did.” Anton speaks up, despite the looks that you're shooting him from the corner of your eye to signal him to shut up.

“What would you suggest?” he continues

“Well then, you would just have to date.” Eunseok finally turns around to face you. Warranting your heart to drop to your stomach. You think you might just shit yourself right there. “But that’s just hypothetical of course.” he adds.

“We wouldn’t have to date. We could let it go and act like we never did it.”

“That wouldn’t work, the second you two even share a kiss you’re bound to fall in love.” Eunseok says.

That exact statement circulates your mind the entire day. You couldn’t fall in love with Anton, it just wouldn’t make sense. You don’t even see him that way, and you don’t imagine you ever will.

The rest of the day goes by and you’re still thinking about what may or may not have happened between you and your best friend last night. Keeping a safe distance just in case. Although it definitely seems to bother you more than it bothered him, because while you were still racking your brain of everything that happened the night prior, he’s just sitting in the corner of the room playing Mario karts.

“I think I just need to sleep.” You say heading towards the bed.

“I think that’s a good idea, I'm getting tired too.” he gets up to stretch before walking to the bed behind you.

“what are you doing?” you stop to ask

“I'm going to bed.” He says casually, staring at you as if he truly couldn’t understand why you’d be so hostile about him sleeping in the same bed as you.

“We can't sleep in the same bed.” You shake your head

“Why not? We sleep together all the time.”

“Don’t! say that.” you shush him with your index finger. “Okay, you take the bed, and I'll go take the couch.”

“The bed is big enough for both of us.” He looks at you when you walk closer towards the door.

“Why are you making this so hard?” You facepalm

“I'm just trying to get some sleep, you’re the one making this hard.”

You take a deep breath before speaking again, whispering as if someone could hear you through the walls. "What if we… again.”

“if we?” He asks

“You know, what if we..” you hold your hands up to make sexual gestures just so he’d understand what you were finally getting to. Yet he’s still staring at you like he just doesn't get it.

“What if we have sex again Anton, what if we have sex.” you finally just say throwing your arms down in frustration.

And you bicker for a good 15 more minutes until you finally cave in and just take the bed. His winning argument being that it’s hard for him to sleep alone since he didn’t have his stuffed panda with him. To which you replied, “You should’ve grown out of that phase years ago.” While still stuffing yourself under the sheets besides him.

September 6th 2015, is the exact date you met Anton. You remember because you still have the initial test that you copied off of him. It was the first time you’d ever made a perfect score on a test, and while you were proud of yourself your mom grew very suspicious.

You knew him before then, but you never thought to speak to him until he caught you cheating off his paper and threatened to tell the teacher. Leaving you with no other choice but to bribe him with dinosaur chicken nuggets. Which honesty was a win for you because your mom loved to pack them for you for lunch and you just didn’t have the heart to tell her that you hated them.

Since then, the two of you were attached at the hip, navigating both middle school and high school together.

You liked to remind yourself of that often, it made you feel better about the rest of life. Because you were soon to be an adult and it was horrifying to you. Even though you had your mom, your brother and Sungchan. It’s just reassuring to know that you had Anton, who was equally as scared as you were.

Listening to music through your black headphones, you sat in your room. The one place in the whole world where you could truly feel at ease. Where your walls are plastered with posters and your bed is never made. You were lucky to spend less than 5 minutes searching for anything within the 4 corners of your own space. But you loved it nonetheless.

You tried to listen to anything that would take your mind off of the event that happened over the weekend, however you were shit out of luck because every song on your playlist either talked about kissing or directly described the friends to lover's pipeline.

Throwing your headphones off, you huff and throw yourself back to stare at the ceiling. Dragging both of your hands down your face. Your friendship with Anton was easily one of the best things you had in your life and you were actively ruining it.

This is actually extremely stressful.

Usually when things got this stressful, you’d go to your loyal confidant, but since you couldn’t go to him you go to the internet instead. crawling towards your laptop to look up advice from others who had gone too far with their best friend.

There were over 7,340,000 results, in which you had rapidly read through at least a hundred of them. There’s all different answers ranging from “there’s no way to mend the friendship.” to “the awkward sexual makes it too hard to bear, the only solution is to cut them off.” Each website you click on makes your gut feel like it’s turning inside out.

The thought of having to lose Anton as a friend makes your heart feel like it’s getting stomped on by a 10 foot giant. Your eyes are flooding with tears thinking about the small irrevocable mistake that the both of you shared when you weren’t in the right state of mind.

Until you click on one last link that catches your attention.

“Just continue seeing each other as friends, overtime it’ll sort itself out.”

Just seeing the words on your screen alone is enough to feel like a nice warm hug. Drying your eyes and reading the message over until you finally start to believe that everything is actually gonna be okay.

You get up off your bed when someone gently knocks at your door, you know who it is because it’s the only person who ever knew to knock.

“Come in.” You try to mask the sorrow in your voice, and it works just barely enough for Eunseok to not catch on.

“Hey, just wondering if you're gonna come down for dinner.” He says only peeking through the doorway. “Yeah, I’ll be down there soon.” You begin to start looking around your bed for absolutely nothing, just so he couldn’t see how red and puffy your eyes were while crying.

“Okay, don’t be long. Also, Antons's downstairs waiting for you.” He adds.

“Antons here.” You quickly turn around to face him, no longer caring if he could tell that you had been sobbing just a few minutes before. Something about just hearing his name causes your heart to beat faster and your lips to turn up into a smile.

“Oh wait, he's right here.” Eunseok says backing up so your closest friend could walk in behind him. He could immediately tell you had been crying, you knew he could. Because his soft smile drops into an expression of empathy, but not yet saying anything until he knew that you had the room to yourselves.

“I’ll leave you guys, but don’t forget to come eat dinner with us.” He says once more before he closes the door. Giving you the privacy Anton’s been waiting for.

“Were you crying?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

“No.” You lie.

“I didn’t mean to bother you, I got a little nervous when you hadn’t texted me at all-.” He stops his rambling when you take a seat on your bed and look up at him. He thinks you’re about to cry again but you're just happy to see that nothing has changed between the both of you.

“I was just scared that we were gonna lose our friendship.” You mumble just a little.

“We’ve gone through worse, like the time that I pretended to forget your birthday and you stopped talking to me for a whole month.” he kneels in front of you so you don’t have to look up at him.

The memory makes you laugh a little. Remembering how upset you were, and how he baked you a homemade cake just to get you to forgive him.

“Could you just promise me that no matter what we’ll always be friends.” You ask, your voice still a little shaky from your crying session. Pinky held out towards him because you know that under no circumstance will the promise be broken.

“I promise that we’ll be best friends forever.” He links his pinky onto yours, but it doesn’t last for long because you’re already throwing your arms around him to engulf him in a big hug.

topping him over a little as he softly laughs.

“But, we should probably lay off the edibles and do something normal.” He waits until you’re pulled away from and seated back onto your bed. “like a movie.” he suggests

“deal,” You nod.

If it were anyone else, this would be considered a date. It had the same feel as a date, you’re sitting in your room trying to find an appropriate outfit and fix your hair. When Sungchan yells from downstairs. “Y/n your boyfriends here.” Causing you to glance in the mirror once more before you run down the stairs to meet him.

Neither of you care to argue with Sungchan, only paying attention to each other. “You look really pretty.” Anton speaks first, looking down at you. “Thanks.” you smile at him, but the smile doesn’t do justice to the fluttering butterflies that you feel in your stomach.

“Here’s the keys.” Eunseok places them into your hand without you even having to ask. “Really.” you tame yourself from jumping up and down.

“Don’t be out too late, and don’t crash my car.” He states, pointing his index finger at you.

“We won’t.” You head to the front door, when Sungchan yells one last time. “Enjoy your date.”

“What movie are we going to see by the way?” You ask only once you get into the car.

“You’ll see.” is all he says, and it makes you beg him for more information. “Could you atleast give me a hint.”

“It’s over an hour long.”

“Oh, thanks Anton, that helps.” You sarcastically say, while starting the car. “I think you’ll like it.” He says last.

Anton’s checking in the movie’s ticket while you’re sitting in the back just watching him, there’s no one else in the main area besides the employees, Anton, you and the stranger that walks up from behind you and compliments the shirt that you're wearing.

“Are you waiting for someone?” The man asks

“Yeah, I’m here with my friend.” You point towards Anton who’s staring intently at your interaction with the man in front of you. “He’s getting our tickets.” you add before turning your attention back to the stranger. “Are you single? By chance?” He asks suddenly but it flatters you.

The boy is smaller than what you’d describe as your type, but he’s cute and he looks very friendly. He has hair that you think you could spend hours playing in, and it’d be nice to get an actual boyfriend so Sungchan and Eunseok didn’t tease you about Anton.

“Yeah, I am.” You smile up at him as you stand up. “My name is Y/n.” You add, holding your hand out for him to shake. “My name is Sohee.” He’s about to connect hands with yours but Anton does it first as he stands besides you. Towering over both of you.

“We have to hurry and catch the movie.” He speaks only to you first, until you look at Sohee and back at him.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t see you here.” He lies.

“I don’t wanna hold you up.” Sohee says, particularly paying attention to the way Anton gently and subtly interlocks his fingers with yours. “Sorry about that.” You apologize sincerely.

“It’s no problem, I hope you enjoy the movie.” He says last before Antons dragging you off.

“Who was that?” he asks as you go down the hallway to find out which movie room was showing the movie that you intended to see. “He said his name was Sohee, I thought he had really nice hair.” You look up at Anton.

“I also have nice hair.” He whines.

“No, I mean his hair looks so soft.”

“And mine doesn’t.” He turns to look down at you.

“This isn’t about you.” You giggle. It takes for the both of you to walk into the movie room together for you to realize that he still hadn’t told you what movie you were gonna be watching. You don’t ask now, because you figure that you’ll just find out when it starts playing.

However, once you take your seat right besides your best friend all the way in the back. You miss the title of the movie because you’re too fixated on the fact he hadn’t let go of your hand since he grabbed it earlier. Watching the way he mindlessly rubs his thumb in slow and gentle circles around the back of your hand.

You’d pull away and scold him, but it actually felt nice. So you just rest your head on his arm and continue to watch the rest of the movie.

It was easy forgetting about the 11 pm fiasco in the cabin. You guess Anton was right, your friendship has seen worse. And now you feel kinda silly remembering how you cried thinking about the ending of your friendship.

If that was even possible, because as long as you’ve known Anton you knew there wasn’t anything that he wouldn’t do just to talk to you. Even now when he snuck himself into your room, for nothing else but to show you the memory box that he found buried deep beneath his bed.

Neither of you remember when you started making it, but both of you were glad to have it. The box was filled with random inanimate objects that actually helped to build the friendship that you have now. Things ranging from the test that brought you together in the first place.

To the small purple transparent lighter that you intended to use as a prop for your magic trick. But actually, almost became an accessory to arson. You were trying to recreate one of those fire throwing acts that you saw on tv however you got a little too carried away and set one of the towels on fire in your bathroom.

In Anton’s defense he told you over and over again that you shouldn’t do it. In your defense? You didn’t have one.

The box is filled with not only random memory sakes, but also tons of pictures of the two of you from when you got your first polaroid for christmas.

The first one you come across is a picture that Eunseok took of you and Anton in your Halloween costumes.

You’d spent months convincing Anton to go with you as Jack Skellington and Sally because of your small obsession with Tim Burton at the time.

He agreed but it wasn’t at all an easy task. And you didn’t even know he would agree until he showed up to your front door with face paint and a very unamused frown. It didn’t phase you at all though because you jumped up and down while giggling and clapping, completely missing the small growing smile that he was gaining just from knowing that you were happy and he was the cause of it.

“Aren’t Jack and Sally a couple?” Sungchan questions when you hand Eunseok your polaroid and ask him to take a picture of you.

“Duh.” you say oblivious to the point he’s trying to make.

“So if you’re Jack and you’re sally…” he points to you as he says “Doesn't that make you a couple.” He finishes with a grin. “No, it’s a costume you idiot.” You yell at him, reaching for your shoe to throw at him.

You’re ready to fight but Anton only looks down at you and smiles at how easily angry you got. And that’s exactly when Eunseok takes the picture.

Anton watches your subtle smile as you flip through each of the polaroids, he begins to mirror your smile when you look up at him and giggle softly. “Oh look at this one.” You hold one of the pictures just inches away from his eyes where he could barely see.

Rather than just taking the photograph out of your hand to see it better, he wraps his hand around your wrist and backs it up to a better angle. The gesture is very simple but you don’t fail to notice that he’s rubbing the tip of his thumb back and forth over your skin.

“I remember this.” he laughs, looking at the photo. You feel a bit of coolness fall over you when he lets go of your arm to look through the rest of the box. Which you think to do after staring at him for 5 seconds too long. Flipping though the rest of the polaroids in your hand, when you come across another picture.

This one isn’t from your camera. It’s a picture your mom took of you when you invited him over to the house for the first time. She was so happy that you had finally made a friend, she didn’t even care that she was actively embarrassing you. Sneaking pictures, and watching behind walls whenever you had finally built some gut to actually talk to him.

It was so long ago, and you were so young. It’s fun to think about now, but it’s even better to think about how long you’ve known him.

“Isn’t it crazy that we’ve been friends for so long and neither of us has a crush on eachother.” You ask, still looking down at the picture.

“Yeah.” He laughs

When you look up you see your best friend, the one person outside of your family that stuck with you through thick and thin. Who held you every time you cried and dried your tears to tell you that everything was going to be alright. Who, no matter what, never made you feel like a burden or like you were too much. Who made it obvious over and over again that they’d do anything to keep you happy.

You see Lee Anton.

He’s meant to be in your life, you’re very sure of it. Because no one understood you like he did, and no one ever will as long as he’s alive. No one defended you like he did, and you don’t care to learn if anyone else might.

But as time went on, the lines started to blur. Because you want to kiss him now, and you’re not sure if you want to do it as his best friend or something more. Gradually leaning in closer to him until your lips just barely touch.

He takes the initiative to go all the way. Furthering the kiss, you have to grab onto his shoulders to keep yourself stable.

You can’t explain it but this just feels right, or better yet, it definitely didn’t feel wrong.

Your eyes are still closed when you pull away, but the instant you open them he mutters. “I love you.” Causing you to get up and jump away from him as if he was infected with a contagious deadly disease.

“You ruined it.” You yell at him, loud enough for him to know how startled you are but not enough for anyone outside of the room to hear.

“I’m sorry!” he pleads. Within a few seconds he’s standing over you so you have to look up at him. For as long as you knew him he’d always been taller than you, it was so obvious that everyone else pointed out the extreme height difference. Well, everyone but you.

“Why would you say that?” You throw your arms down.

“I don’t know, it just came out.”

“You don’t mean it, do you?” You ask, but this time you aren’t yelling and your voice is calmer.

“Of course, I mean it. We’ve been friends for years and I love you.”

“Stop saying that!”

“Do you love me?” His voice is softer than usual and you hate it, there’s just no way you could give him any other answer outside of the one he’s asking to hear. Yet and still you can’t give him anything because you’re not even sure yourself.

“Do you?” he asks again, breaking the long period of silence.

“Could you just kiss me again?” You ask, and he listens. Just as he always does because you’re his best friend and all he wants is to make you happy.

The question never quite left your mind. "Did you love him?” No. “Do you love him?" The obvious answer is yes. It'd be impossible to not love someone that you've been close friends with for just a little less than half your life. Someone that knew almost everything about you.

But this was a more complicated question. Because you know he wasn't asking if you love him as a best friend, and that wasn't an answer you were ready to find out. If you loved him any differently than a friend, then it would change everything.

That's what you're afraid of.

Although, it's a little too late to be scared for the friendship if you're even questioning it in the first place.

It’s been two days since that night, but neither of you had the balls to bring it up again. Seems as if you were getting better at pretending things never happened. You could try and say that things hadn’t changed at all, but that’d be a lie.

Usually you liked the comfort of your own room, but the more you spent in there alone the more you felt that the silence was getting too loud for your own good, and the very last thing you needed right now was to be alone in your thoughts.

So for once you decided to sit in the living room and enjoy the presence of your brother and his best friend. Sitting further away from both of them on the sofa with your legs pressed up against your chest. There weren’t any intentions of interacting with either of them, you just needed to get around somewhere that wasn’t ear ringing quiet.

But every part of you wishes you would’ve just stayed in your room, when you become the topic of discussion.

“Are you texting your boyfriend?” Sungchan teases per usual.

“No.” Is all you say, hoping that if you don’t give him the attention he wants, he’ll leave you alone. He doesn’t but what were you expecting, he was like your annoying brother after all. “You didn’t deny that he was your boyfriend.”

“He isn’t.” You mumble, still not looking up from your phone.

“Is something wrong?” Eunseok asks, and you can easily tell that he’s really concerned. But you just cannot force yourself to tell him that something is bothering you because you know he’ll wanna help. And this just wasn’t a matter that you needed nor wanted him to help you with.

“No, just kinda tired.” You begin to say but sungchan talks over you and asks a question that makes your heart drop.

“Is this about the kiss with Anton?” He pipes up randomly.

“You kissed?” Eunseok takes turns questioning you, and just when you’re about to answer him Sungchan once again speaks over you. “Yeah, but they were both high so it doesn’t really count.”

“High?” This time he’s jumping out of his seat.

By now your heart is beating loud enough to hear, there’s no way to talk yourself out of this so you don’t even try. Only preparing yourself for what’s to come.

“You were high?”

“Before you start, just know that I’m sorry and I already made the decision to never do it again.”

“Wait, don't be too hard on her, I’m the one who gave them the brownies.” Sungchan butts in an attempt to protect you. “I’ll deal with you later.” Your brother points to him, and turns his attention back on you.

“Why did you do it in the first place? I told you to stay away from drugs.” He begins raising his voice at you. That might have been when you started crying, you think. But it’s still unclear, because all you could think about was how shitty you felt to have disappointed him.

“This isn’t a game Y/n that stuff is bad, what will you do when you get to College and everyone around you is doing it? Are you gonna do it too?” He continues to shout,

“No, I told you I wasn’t ever gonna touch it again.” You cry,

“How am I supposed to believe that? You’re not giving me any reason to trust you.”

The words he spit out of his mouth were like small but extremely sharp swords. Piercing into your heart all at once, you don’t even have the strength in your voice to speak anymore, so your next sentence comes out shaky and a little squeaky. “Did you ever trust me?”

“Why would I?” That’s the very last sword to impale your beating muscle, you can imagine that air was just ripped out of your lungs. Leaving you to suffocate alone. If there was one thing you hated in the whole world it was being scolded by your older brother.

Simply because you weren’t used to getting yelled at by anyone else. Your mom was always very soft spoken, and your dad died before you ever got the chance to really disappoint him. So that left Eunseok, he didn’t shout at you often. But when he did, it hurt.

Anton’s the one person you went to every time you felt like this, so it was a no brainer that that’s where you’d end up now.

When you knock on his door still in your pajamas and cheeks stained with tears, he doesn’t even question you. Only holding his arms out for you to claim your spot close to his chest so he could embrace you with the warm and endearing hug that you needed most.

“He’s just looking out for you.” He speaks tenderly, once you finally calmed yourself down enough to explain everything. You always liked how soft his voice was, it was the very thing that made you wanna befriend him in the first place. Even though you made fun of him for it all the time, it was times like these when you really appreciated it.

“I just hate that I disappointed him, now he’ll never trust me.” You continue to sob into his chest.

He lets you cry for another 40 minutes until you fall asleep with your face flat against his chest. Your cheeks are still damp and a bit puffy but even now he finds himself struggling to pull his eyes away from you.

Unfortunately he’s forced to when there’s a knock at the front door, and Anton has to slide himself from under you so you don’t wake up. He knows exactly who’s on the other side of the door but he opens it anyway.

“Is Y/n here?” eunseok asks, already knowing the answer. You wouldn’t go anywhere else.

“No. why, did something happen?” Anton masks his lies with faux concern. “We just got into an argument kind of. I just wanna make sure she’s okay.” Eunseok continues.

Anton looks back at your sleeping figure and faces Eunseok. Feeling no need to hold up the lie he says, “Yeah, she’s fine.”

“Thank you… for taking care of her.”

“Of course.”

Anton closes the door when Eunseok walks away. He watches you for some short moments before leaving to go find a blanket to drape over you just in case you were feeling chilly in your sleep. And sitting on the couch beside you so you didn’t have to be alone.

Anyone with a sibling would know that arguments don’t last for long. But this one did, you knew what you did was wrong but you also don’t want to apologize. So you just pretend like he doesn’t exist for the following week.

He tried nonstop for the first two days but gave up after you just stared directly in his face without a word when he offered you the keys to his car, and unlimited access for the rest of the summer.

“What do you wanna watch?” Anton asks with one hand navigating the laptop and the other playing through your hair. Your body is pressed close against his, so much so you can hear his heartbeat. And he can feel the vibrations of your voice when you hum “I don’t know, you can choose.”

“How about a cartoon?” He scrolls his pointer down to Tom and jerry.

“Not that one.” You mutter when it begins to play.

“Okay, what about the incredibles?” He asks

“I don’t like the incredibles.” you speak into his chest.

“Mickey mouse?”

“We’re not children, Anton.”

“Well, what do you wanna watch?” he shifts his body to look down at you, his frustration growing when you look back up at him. “I don’t know, but I don’t wanna watch that.”

“You don’t wanna watch anything.” He huffs.

“Just choose something good.” Both of you are bickering with each other but keeping your positions, his hand is still tangled in your hair, and you're still face to chest with him. You look up in sync when Eunseok passes by your room to get to his own, however he doesn’t make it to his room yet because he stopped to watch the two of you bicker.

If he didn’t know any better he’d think that the both of you were dating. Funny thing is, he really didn’t know any better. So he stood there in shock staring at you two together holding a half sandwich right in front of his mouth.

“What are you looking at?” You spit, after a small moment of awkward silence.

As soon as the words leave your mouth you realize exactly what he’s looking at, because you look up at Anton and jump away a second later. Not noticing how it looked from a different point of view.

Eunseok walks away immediately with a small chuckle, because although he didn’t understand what was going on you at least acknowledged his existence and talked to him, so that was an improvement.

Your relationship with your brother was still taking baby steps to recovery, but your relationship with your best friend couldn’t get any better. If you weren’t sitting right besides him, you were texting him, if you weren’t texting him, you were calling him.

You made the deal to make this summer count, just in case you grew apart from each other but with the way things were going you highly doubted that anything would break you apart now.

You threw your head back on your bed, staring at your phone with your arms held out over top of your face. You smile never wavering as you type away messages to Anton. First you send the word “hello” 8 individual times in separate messages until he responds, you wanna make sure that you have his attention first.

But when he doesn’t respond or even open the messages, you let the anticipation get the best of you and just call him, so you can at least hear his reaction when you tell him the news that has you busting at the seams with excitement.

Yet, something about hearing the phone ring over and over again slowly kills the excitement in you. Your smile is still present, it’s just smaller now.

Anton always answered his phone for you, even during the cello lessons that his dad used to make him take after school. So this is something new to you, and you’re not sure how to really feel about it.

The only thing you can think to do is just go to his house and see him in person. At Least this way you could see his reaction face to face and even hang out for a little. That’s what you choose to do, throwing your legs over your bed to rush to his front door.

“Hey, guess wha-” You start the second the door opens but stop when you see that the person who opened the door wasn’t Anton. In fact, you don’t know who this is, you’ve never seen her before.

“Hi?” The girl pipes up, smiling at you. You try to force yourself to mirror her smile, it lasts almost as long as a blink but with all the thoughts running through your head you end up just blurting out. “Who are you?”

“I’m Anton’s friend.” She holds her hand out to you. “Nice to meet you.” She smiles.

You feel your heart sink into your chest, the longer you look at her. It was happening already, and summer isn’t even over yet. you thought things were looking up, but it’s just the beginning of the end.

You wanna ask, “Are you sure?” because Anton's never mentioned her before, but you hold your tongue and simply ask “Is he here?” and she responds with “Yeah, I’ll get him for you.”

You wait for less than a minute before Anton comes to the door, you hadn’t thought about what you were going to say when you did see him. So now you’re stumbling over your words trying to find out what question you wanna ask first.

“I just came because you didn’t answer your phone, but I guess you have a date so that would explain everything.” you mutter

“It's not a date, she just came over to play games.”

“sounds fun.”

“you’re not mad.. right?”

“I'm just a little disappointed that you didn’t tell me. but she’s really pretty I hope you guys have fun.”

“why do you even care? we’re just friends.” he asks when get ready to turn your back.

“Just fr- the rest of the words can’t even leave your mouth, just caught in your throat as tears begin to swarm your waterline. “Clearly we don’t feel the same way, so I’ll just go.”

“Feel the same way?” he repeats “about what? there’s nothing to feel.” That's what does it, knocks the wind right out of your lungs.

“nothing. nothing, Anton bye.” you hurry and walk away before he could see you cry. the conversation reminds you of the stupid high school that you used to avoid. clinging onto Anton because you always thought he was far too sweet to ever treat you or anyone like that. but you were wrong, you were terribly wrong, and it makes you physically ill.

Crying for the third time this summer, barging into the house past Eunseok and running into your room. This might actually be your first heartbreak, and it’s funny to think that your best friend would be the one to give it to you.

“knock knock.” Eunseok knocks on the bedroom door that you forgot to close. Usually he’d wait for your permission to enter but this time he just walks right in and takes a spot on the edge of your bed.

“go away.” you sob into your pillow.

He continues to speak, not caring about your protests. “I know you don’t wanna talk to me right now. but I want you to know that I'll always be here for you. and no matter what i’ll always look out for you.”

“I don't need you to look out for me.”

He doesn’t say anything else because he knows it’s only a matter of time before you open up to him about what’s going on.

he thought right, it takes not even 4 seconds for you to sit up and look at him with glossy eyes. “we’re just friends, not best friends, not even close friends. just friends.” you hiccup in between words.

When eunseok doesn’t say anything you keep talking.

"He was hanging out with this girl; I've never met her before. Well, I mean he’s never told me about her, and she’s really pretty. He probably thinks she’s prettier than me.”

“you’re crying because he was hanging out with a girl?” Eunseok recaps and you roll your eyes.

“You don’t get it, no one gets it.” Not even you. You couldn’t explain to him what’s wrong if you wanted to, because you actually had no clue. All you knew was that you saw him with another girl, and it hurt. It hurt a lot.

“Then explain it to me.” Your brother looks at you, really trying to understand so he could find a way to make you feel better. When you go completely silent, he blurts out another question.

“Do you like him?”

Now you get it, now it all makes sense. You don’t wanna admit it aloud, but you know the truth. You’ve stopped crying but your voice is still weak and raspy when you say. “We’re just friends.” Repeating Anton's exact words.

It wasn’t easy ignoring Anton, not because you were struggling to stay away from him but because he made it hard to pretend like he never existed. Blowing up your phone with phone calls or text messages and popping up at your front door occasionally so you’d be forced to see his face.

You’ve moved on from being mad about whatever it was that you were mad about in the first place, to being mad about the fact that he didn’t share the same feelings you had.

This was all his fault anyways, because if it wasn't for his dumb stupid face and his annoying soft voice you would’ve never fallen for him in the first place. You were actually pretty good at keeping your emotions controlled… well more less. But this was still his fault, and you weren’t taking any responsibility.

1:15 Brachio: Wanna go skating today?

1:22 Brachio: hey??

1:37 Brachio: did I do something wrong?”

You scoff at the last message; he really had the audacity to ask if he did something wrong. Even if you didn’t fully know the reason you were mad, he should’ve definitely known.

4:49 Brachio: Hello?

4:49 Brachio: I’m sorry, please talk to me.

4:49 Brachio: this isn’t fun I’m getting flashbacks.

4:50 Brachio: I’ll bake you a cake.

4:50 Brachio: I’ll do anything.

5: 10 Brachio: wow so you hate me.

6:20 You: I do, leave me alone.

6:20 Brachio: Oh, sorry,

6:29 Brachio: Are you still mad?

You leave your phone faced up and watch his name flash more and more from the corner of your room. Trying to think of anything else to distract you from the conversation Anton was having with himself in your messages.

“What are you doing out here?” Sungchan looks down at Anton cropped down in front of your door. “Waiting or Y/n” he responds.

“Oh I’ll get her for you.” He turns.

“No! She’s not gonna come out if you tell her I’m here. I’ll just wait.”

“Is this like a game?... or”

“She came over 2 weeks ago, and we had a small argument about… actually I don’t know what it was about. I just know that it upset her that I had one of my friends over.”

“Interesting, interesting and was this friend a girl?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you find her physically attractive?”

“No, I’ve never really looked at her like that.”

“Interesting.” sungchan taps his chin 3 times for cinematic effect. “Seems to me like Y/n might have a little crush on you.”

“On me? She couldn’t possi- oh~” he comes to the realization mid sentence. “What is Anton gonna do with this new found information?” Sungchan begins to speak in his version of a British accent.

“There’s nothing I can do, She won’t talk to me. It’s been weeks.” Anton looks up to sungchan.

“If there is a will. There will be a way.” Sungchan speaks with his finger in the air as if he was some inspirational character from a children's book. “Okay…” Anton mutters.

“Sungchan says! We shall make it rain.”

“Make it rain?” Anton questions

“Make it rain.” Sungchan heroically yells.

“Make it rain?” Anton asks again.

Since summer was coming down to an end, you figured there was no other time to start packing but now. The first thing you decided to start with was the abundance of posters on your walls. It didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. Maybe you needed a little change in your life, and growing up wasn’t all that bad.

“I never thought I’d see this room all packed up.” Eunseok says as he walks through your bedroom door.

“I haven’t even started yet.” You laugh.

“You start school in a few weeks. How do you feel?”

“I’m actually kind of excited, maybe it’s time for me to make new friends.”

“Are you at least gonna talk to him before you go?”

“He’ll be fine, he has someone to keep him company.” you don’t even take the time to look at your brother when you speak. Focusing on carefully taking down your wall art without ripping any of them.

“I’m sure he’d still like to talk to you.”

“I don’t care.’ You say bluntly.

“Maybe you should.” You only turn to look at him when he’s gone. Leaving you alone with nothing but your crowded walls and crowded thoughts to match. Going away for college meant you might not ever talk to Anton again. Well, you were probably gonna see him around campus or something, sure. But you won’t be friends like you used to. He’ll go off to build his new group of people and so will you.

Maybe this friendship wasn’t so strong after all.

The splashing water against your window is enough to pull you out of your thoughts. You guess that it’s rain at first, so you open your window to observe the sky but see that it’s completely bright and clear.

“What the heck?” You say aloud to yourself trying to observe where the sprinkles of water were coming from.

Then you see Anton standing right below you, drenched in water and Sungchan holding the water hose from the bushes. “These idiots.” You mutter under your breath.

“Y/n someone's here for you.” Eunseok yells from the stairs. Making sure to leave out Anton’s name because he knew you wouldn’t leave your room if he did mention him.

Anton doesn’t give you the chance to speak before he starts to recite the note he had in his hands. The note was just as wet as he was and the ink had already begun washing off the paper, but he continued to read anyways.

“I. am. Very. sorry. For-” not caring to hear the rest of what he has to say you snatch the damped paper out of his hand and rip it up in front of him. Then throwing the pieces back in his face before you slam the door and leave him to talk to himself.

“I didn’t need that.” He murmurs through the barrier between you two.

“Remember you pinky promised me that we’d always be friends. You can’t break it now, we never break our pinky promises.” He speaks on the other side of the door since you weren’t gonna speak to him face to face.

“For the love of god Anton, go away-” You yell at him when you open your front door, and within a blink of an eye his lips are on yours and his hands are on each side of your face. He’d pulled you far enough out of your house to get drenched in the water that Sungchan was spraying.

You break the kiss first, with a harsh slap on his cheek. “Why did you do that?” You shout.

“That’s what they do in the movies whenever they confess their feelings. I thought it would work.” he explains, holding his cheek,

“You like me?”

“Am i gonna get slapped again if I say yes?”

You don’t have anything else to say, so you pull him down to you by the collar of his shirt and kiss him once again. Before whispering “I like you too.” against his lips

“So you’re not mad at me anymore?”

“I still haven’t gotten a cake yet.” is your response to his question, but you both knew that you were far from mad at him.

You guys shared over 234 pinky promises in the time span that you had been friends. And all of them remained unbroken, except for one.

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promise-you-doie · 5 months

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Masterlist

𝐊𝐞𝐲: 𝐚 - 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 𝐬- 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐟- 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟

𝐑𝐈𝐈𝐙𝐄

𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐚 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐫 {𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐄𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐤} |𝐚,𝐟,𝐬| 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞

𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐥𝐲 {𝐖𝐨𝐧𝐛𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫} 𝐚.𝐟,𝐬| 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞

𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬/ 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐫 {𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫} | 𝐚,𝐟,𝐬 |𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝐂𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞 {𝐒𝐨𝐡𝐞𝐞 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫} | 𝐟 | 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝐍𝐂𝐓

𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐲 {𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫} | 𝐚,𝐬 | 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩

𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 {𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫} | 𝐟 | 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝐀𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 {𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠} | 𝐚,𝐟 | 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 / 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐫 {𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫} | 𝐚,𝐟,𝐬 |𝐄𝐱𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 {𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐃𝐨𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫} | 𝐚,𝐟,𝐬 | 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐍𝐞𝐂𝐓𝐢𝐨𝐧 {𝐘𝐮𝐭𝐚 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫} | 𝐚,𝐟,𝐬 | 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬

#promise you doie

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promise-you-doie · 5 months

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hey! i just came across your profile and read some of your stuff(they’re so good!) and i also saw that were like 5 days apart my birthday is december 23rd and i just wanted to say that bc i got really excited!

OMG THATS SOO COOL. I’m glad you enjoy my writings that makes me so happy. thank you so much ❤️

#riize imagines #riize x reader #riize angst #riize fluff #riize icons #riize

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promise-you-doie · 5 months

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What the fuck is wrong with you

umm... hello. Good morning to you too.

Anyways I think this is the perfect opportunity to introduce myself again.

I'm 20, Dec 18 2003.

I go by she/her

I am an NCTzen, but I also listen to other SM groups.

I love Doyoung and Doyoung stans. I also love Renjun and Renjun stans.

I'm madly in love in Lee Sohee, Park Jisung and Osaki Shotaro.

and I love baekhyun.

You can call me doie, and I absolutely love answering requests.

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promise-you-doie · 5 months

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hi just asking will there be a longer fic of this since you state teaser there? ty https://www.tumblr.com/promise-you-doie/734406967193485312/memories

Yes, there will be a longer fic. i’ll upload it very soon. thanks for asking.

#riize imagines #riize x reader #riize #riize angst #riize fluff #fluff #riize icons #drabbles

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promise-you-doie · 5 months

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Get a Guitar | S. Eunseok

Summary: If you want something to play with... Pairing: Eunseok x Reader Sungchan x Reader words: 15k Genre: kind of a love triangle, fluff, angst. warnings: mild cursing, mentions of sex, mentions of death and Ted Bundy (Not proofread.) and thank you to @ningngyu for helping me write this

Saturdays were the one day of the week where you were guaranteed to be doing absolutely nothing.

You’d usually spend your weekend sleeping or binging all of your favorite shows and locking your bedroom door to stop your best friend from attempting to drag you out to one of those really weird underground events that she liked.

Today was the same, without fail she’s pounding at your door, so much so that you can hear the aggressive knocking on the door even over your headphones that were turned up all the way.

“Come on, just this one time please.” she begs through the door but you can’t hear anything she’s saying over the thumping of wood and the Beyoncé song you have playing in an attempt to blare her out.

“Y/N i know you hear me.”

Annoyed and frustrated you throw your legs across the bed and stomp to open the door, revealing your smiley bestfriend. whom you absolutely adored, but you’d be lying if you said there weren’t times when you wanted to sell her.

She was amazing but it was kinda like having a younger sister. No, it was exactly like having a younger sister. because although you guys are the same age, she didn’t have a license so she needed you to drive her everywhere and she stole your clothes.

“I'm not going out tonight.” you say before she could even speak.

“oh please please please. there will be cute guys there.” Her bottom lip is poked out and her hands are held put in prayer form when she looks at you with puppy dog eyes.

none of it phases you though, holding your ground which makes her plead more.

“I'll buy you food and I'll even clean your car.”

when she sees that you’re still not convinced she continues. “We can even leave whenever you want.”

That's when you roll your eyes and sigh. “Fine, but my car better look brand new when you’re done.” you say and she begins jumping and gleaming.

“thank you thank you thank you.”

your best friend was a liar, First she was broke so there was no way she could buy you food. Second, there was absolutely no one here that caught your eye.

The unruly music blaring through the small crowded building made your ears feel like they were bleeding, and of course your best friend was nowhere to be found. As she left you the second the both of you entered the facility.

you wanted to go home and lay in the comfort of your own bed, but you couldn’t leave her here with no way to get home. So there you stood, all alone arms crossed over your chest and a frown resting flat on your face. with your eyebrows unintentionally furrowed.

“Can’t be that bad.” a completely unfamiliar voice came from beside you, and it takes a lot of strength for you not to yell at them to go away.

“This just isn’t my kind of scene.” you say not bothering to look at the stranger. hoping that if you show that you’re completely uninterested he’ll go away.

“I’m guessing this is your first time.” he asks

That's when you finally look at him, intending to give him a piece of your mind but taken back when your eyes find him. Maybe your friend wasn’t a complete liar, you think. because this man is so fine you catch yourself at a loss for words and thoughts.

having to shake your head slightly before you find something to say. “Uh.. yeah. This is my first time?”

“It gets better.” he reassures, breaking eye contact and looking at the band in front of you. which for some reason makes you a little sad. you enjoy having all of his attention on you.

“Thanks.” you say, still looking up at him.

“yeah.”

“What’s your name by the way?” You ask, hoping that he’d turn his gaze back to you, and it works. He looks back down at you and answers your question. “Silver stone.”

“huh?” your mouth is agape when you look at him, confused by his answer.

“That’s just my stage name. You can call me Eunseok.” he smiles as he holds his hand out for you to shake, his smile was the perfect asset to his already perfectly sculpted face. His hands are soft and strong at the same time, while his voice is deep and gentle, playing like a beautiful melody to your ears.

“I’m Y/n.” You answer, still looking at him in awe, loving the way his eyes watch you. You can feel the heat arise from your cheeks.

“So your stage name is Silver stone?” You ask, still dragging on the conversation. Just so his eyes wouldn’t leave your figure.

“Yeah it’s a long story.” He releases a small deep laugh that causes you to suck your bottom lip in between your teeth. Eyes trained to his small movements, him dragging his hand through his “hair to pull it out of his face and rolling up the sleeves of his long sleeve sweater to reveal his forearms.

The way he looks down at you with hooded eyelids makes the overly crowded building feel like it’s just you and him.

“I’m guessing you’re in a band? If you have a stage name I mean.” you state, while tilting your head slightly to the side and looking up at him.

“I’m the lead guitar player.” He says casually, which causes your brain to turn to mush and you to take notice of his long slim fingers. “Oh he has to be a player.” you think to yourself, but If it was possible you were now even more attracted to him, wanting to know more.

“Hey, we've got 5 minutes.” You can hear and feel the bubble around you and Eunseok pop when two strangers come over and disturb your conversation. His eyes shift from you to the two boys beside you.

“Oh?… I meant take your time. We can be a few minutes late.” One of them says while looking at you.

“Sorry I don't mean to hold you up.” you trail off when he looks back down at you.

“Sorry I gotta go perform really fast. But stay here I’ll be right back. Okay?”

You move your lips to say “alright.” But he doesn’t notice as disappears into the crowd. Leaving you feeling alone again.

“Oh my god Y/N. Do you know who that was?” someone says as they tap your shoulder. you turn to see your best friend pointing out the man you were just having a conversation with while slapping at your arm aggressively.

“Eunseok?” you question, shifting away from her so she couldn’t hit you anymore.

“Silver stone!” she corrects, and continues “Oh my goodness, girl he was totally flirting with you.” she squeals.

“I don’t think he was.”

“If you guys start dating just make sure that you set me up on a date Sohee, the drummer. my god he’s so cute.”

“Sohee?”

Your question goes unanswered when the lights fade. Worrying you for just a few seconds before you hear a guitar riff that makes you turn towards the stage. Just in time for a bright spot light to hit the tall boy who was just standing in front of you a small moment ago.

Hearing the music he’s playing has you gravitating closer towards the stage leaving your best friend behind as you do. Your eyes trained to the handsome guitar player. You think he looks like a star, shining perfectly with his fingers strategically working the strings of the red electric guitar.

The music he’s playing is like a magic spell straight to your heart, feeling your body react to him in a way you’ve never felt with anyone else. Watching him so intently that you forget to blink.

You suck in a sharp gasp when he looks up, and easily locks eyes with you. Never missing a note as he bites on his bottom lip and the rest of the band come in. Once again making it feel like it was just you, him and his guitar.

You break eye contact first out of embarrassment, your whole body heating up just from the intensity of the eye contact. You’ve met attractive guys before, but this was different. This was completely different. It was something about him that was just captivating.

“Give it up for R&R everyone.” The host announces and everyone begins to clap.

You see Eunseok run off stage and make his way back to you. At the same time your best friend walks up beside you.

“How were we?” he asks, partly out of breath.

“You were… amazing. Wow, that was really amazing.” you praise.

“Really?”

“Don’t you think it was good?” you turn the question back around to him.

“I do, I just wanted to know if you liked it?” he says.

The members that you just saw on stage performing with him not too long ago are now standing beside him. Each holding a hand on one of his shoulders while he talks to you.

“These are my bandmates. Sohee our drummer.” He introduces.

The man whose name you’ve just learned sticks his hand out to meet yours, and you notice his bright smile and glistening eyes. You easily recognize his name, you just couldn’t remember where you heard it. But before you could even grasp his hand, your best friend slaps it out of the way to shake his hand instead. Batting her eyelashes and muttering her name and a small “Nice to meet you.” Sohee returns her smile as he turns to look at you and Eunseok all while keeping his hold on your best friends hand.

He’s not as tall as Eunseok, but he’s just as pretty. He has thick dark brown hair that looks extremely soft and you can tell he’s a little younger than the rest of them.

“And this is Seunghan, our lead singer.” Seunghan is taller than Sohee but not as tall as eunseok. He has a small sarcastic smirk that makes you feel like he knows something that you don’t. But you don’t question it aloud.

“Nice to meet you.” You smile at him.

“And lastly, this is Wonbin, our bassist.” Wonbin’s pretty, he looks like someone you’d find as a model for a luxury brand, his long hair just barely covering his face and his smirk towards eunseok makes you feel like you're missing something.

“Wow you all were so good.” You boast at the four boys.

“Thanks.” Seunghan smiles

“But how good is our guitar player, I mean he’s so talented. And look how tall he is.” Wonbin begins to compliment him.

“And he's a true gentleman. He knows how to treat a lady. He’d make a great boyfriend, I must say.” Sohee adds.

“That’s great because Y/n needs a boyfriend.” Your best friend holds your shoulder to show you off. You give her a side glare as Eunseoks friends continue to tease him.

“Okay guys that's enough.” Eunseok attempts to stop them but fails.

“He’s free tomorrow by the way. Well only In the afternoons. He spends his Sunday mornings tending to children in need. Like a good humanitarian.”

“Alright, good night.” Eunseok begins to push his members away.

“I’m also free tomorrow.” You say urgently before he could walk away. you don’t know what possessed you, but you really didn’t wanna let the opportunity pass you by. When he turns back around to face you, you can't hide your smile.

“Great, just uh give him your number and he’ll contact you about a time.” Sohee smiles at you and Eunseok.

“He’s a true romantic, you won’t be disappointed.” Wonbin continues while Eunseok pulls out his phone for you to put your number in. His eyes trained on you as you do.

“Okay you two, enough of your shenanigans.” Seunghan drags the two boys away leaving you alone with Eunseok again.

“I’m sorry about them.” You pass him his phone back with your number now saved

“Don’t be. They seem fun.” You laugh softly.

“They are, but it’s like having a bunch of annoying little brothers.”

You roll your eyes “Tell me about it.” As you say that, you feel your best friend's hard glare burning into the side of your face.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He questions after a small moment of silence between the two of you.

“Yeah, you will.” You confirm.

“Perfect, see you then.”

“See you.” Just as he walks away to catch up with his members your best friend begins smacking your arm and squealing again.

“Did you see him, isn't he cute?” she doesn’t fail to slap your arm until you’re holding her hands down.

“Who? eunseok?”

“Girl no. Sohee. He’s so fine, god damn.” says your best friend.

“Oh yeah he’s cute, I guess."

“Stay away from my man.” Her smile drops and she’s glaring at you as if you really had intentions of taking (not) her man.

“Huh?” you ask, genuinely confused.

“Okay let’s go home now. They’re all we came for.”

That night you had stayed up thinking about the guitar player you met earlier in the night, remnants of his smile lingered on your mind. Leaving you giggling into the palms of your hands to stop from screaming, squealing and waking your roommate up from her very deep sleep.

You had a date with a band member. It felt even better to say aloud. Especially because it’s been so long since you’ve allowed yourself to like someone other than that basketball player you've had a crush on for over three months.

“Okay which outfit?”

“One” you held the mini skirt to you waist with a top that you felt matched perfectly

“Or two” you rotated and held up a cute baby blue dress that you thought would be great for a picnic.

“Mm def number one. I love the way that skirt fits your ass. I'm feeling like he’s definitely an ass guy.” Your best friend speaks unsolicited which warrants you to smile and roll your eyes.

“Great, I’ll go with the dress.”

“Ugh, what’s the point of asking.”

“So I know which one not to choose.” Slipping the dress on easily and looking at yourself in the mirror, before you turn back to your friend.

“How do I look?” You ask, turning to her, hoping for her approval.

She doesn’t answer at first. Only walking around to you and fixing parts of the dress that you couldn’t see and moving some strands of hair into position. Once she’s satisfied she finally gives the answer you’ve been waiting for.

“You look great Y/N.” she says softly while looking at you through the mirror. Moments like this are what reminds you of why she was your best friend in the first place. But these moments don’t last long because she always says something right after to make you question your life's decisions.

“Your ass looks really good in this dress too.” She says looking down.

“Thanks...” you say sarcastically.

“See aren’t you glad I dragged you out last night.” she's smiling at you although she already knows what you're going to say.

“No, not really.”

“Look at my baby, she’s growing up and going on dates.” She coos ignoring your answer

“Okay~ I think it’s time for me to go.” You say walking away from her.

“Yes, it is, he’s outside.” She checks your phone looks up at you.

“Outside? Like outside.” You ask to clarify.

“That’s what he just texted you.”

“Oh my god.” You yell.

“Girl go!”

“I'm leaving, I'm leaving.” You yell while you struggle with your shoes, and your best friend runs for your bag, phone, perfume and lip gloss. After you feel you’ve got everything you run towards the door with your best friend behind you.

“Bye, have a good time and remember the rules.” She waves to you as you leave the apartment.

“Of Course bye love you.”

“The Rules.” We’re just a list of commandments the two of you made up on some random night but with good reason of course.

Rule number 1: don’t have sex on the first date

Everyone knows this one. It’s like a rule of thumb, but of course your best friend didn’t know this and she slept with some chlamydia infected rando. She spent the entire night crying which led to this being rule number 1

Rule number 2: when going on a date always keep your location on. Men are weird and the last thing you need is to find your girlfriend's body being discovered on the shore of a lake on national news.

Rule number 3: keep your phone charged, this goes with rule number 2. Safety first babe

Rule number 4: don’t go to a man’s place on the first date. The two of you spend too much time watching crime documentaries

Rule number 5: make sure to get Sohee's number.

She just added this one after setting up your date with “silver stone.”

“There you are.” You immediately recognize the voice calling for you. Turning to find the very man you met yesterday. He’s just as handsome as you remember the night prior, but seeing him in the sunlight accentuates his features such as the curves of his cheek bones.

“Sorry I’m late.” You apologize while walking towards him and his jet black suzuki bike.

“I didn’t mind waiting.” He says standing up from leaning on the bike, with the smile you were quickly learning to love.

“Have you ever ridden on a bike before?” he asks, watching you examine the motorcycle behind him. “No, I’ve always wanted to but I'm so scared.” you admit shyly while shifting your focus back up to him.

“It’s not as scary as you think, don’t worry” You stand in place when he slips his jacket off and walks closer to you. He leans forward and wraps it around your waist to prevent you mooning any drivers behind you if your dress rises up. “There you go”

Eunseok was also a liar. It wasn’t too scary at first but the second he hit the highway you felt your heart drop to your stomach. You had to close your eyes and tighten your hold around his waist. Even though you knew that if an incident were to happen this wouldn’t save anything. You still just needed something to hold on to.

The ride was only 15 minutes but you could’ve sworn it was longer, by the time he parked you felt nauseous and kinda light headed.

Immediately you throw your helmet off to get some fresh air and calm your racing heart. Your back is turned to him, but you can feel that he’s watching you.

“See that wasn’t too bad.” He smirks at you, while you're still trying catch your breath.

You just hold your index finger up to him because you're too afraid that if you speak, you’re going to throw up.

“You- mm” you stop to take a breath.

“I’m never trusting you again.” you add.

“You’ll get used to it.” he laughs and takes the helmet out of your hand. “Once we head back it’ll be better.”

“Head back?” you hadn’t even thought about the fact that you were gonna have to do it again. “I’ll just take an uber back.”

“Now why would I let you do that?”

“You don’t have a choice.” Once your heart is calmed and you no longer feel the need to puke, you take notice of your surroundings. Quickly noticing that this isn’t the place that people usually host picnics.

“Where are we?”

“My apartment.’ He says casually.

“I thought we were going on a picnic.” You ask, now slightly scared. He didn’t seem too threatening, but neither did Ted Bundy when he picked up his victims.

“We're getting there.” He begins walking and you follow after him, still a little nervous but justifying with the fact that he was tall and attractive. Trying to push back the idea of having to confront your best friend after she finds out you broke the second rule.

You think to help yourself you’ll just turn your location off that way you could at least just lie and pretend that your phone died. Fortunately and unfortunately you didn’t have to lie because as soon as you turned your location off it actually died.

So if he actually was a psychopath you were fucked.

You allow him to guide you to his apartment unit, trying to shush any thoughts of the many torture methods he probally has planned behind his apartment door. Hoping that if you just comply he’d go easy on you.

Once the both of you reach the door you mentally brace yourself for what’s next to come. Looking around and making sure to identify all of the exits in case it is needed. But to your surprise there's just a blanket layed out with snacks, drinks and a pretty decorated cake.

“You put all this together?” you turn and look up at him. Being able to breathe easier, since you walked into his apartment.

“It was kinda last minute, I’ll plan something better next time.” he admits.

If this is last minute you were definitely looking forward to what he’d do when he had the time. You sit down on the pillow seats that he laid out and he takes a seat right beside you, not too close but close enough for you to be able to smell the cologne that he was wearing.

And he keeps that same distance throughout the entire evening. Never once laying a finger on you, even though you really wanted him to. Hoping that maybe he’d at least slide his hand over yours or something but he doesn’t, not even accidentally.

“So how long have you been in your band?” you ask leaning back on your palms to get more comfortable.

“Only a year.” He responds.

“a year? You guys are so good.”

“You think so?”

“I do.” you tilt your head to rest just barely on your shoulder. Watching how his smile grows towards you.

There's a silence between the both of you for just a second, but it isn’t awkward at all. You’re just admiring him and all of his beauty. Finding that he’s extremely easy to be around. His presence is comforting and not at all hostile, like the other guys you’ve talked to.

You’d lost track of time just talking to him, getting to know more about him, just as you wanted. Being alone in his apartment ensured that you had his undivided attention and he had yours. He had nowhere else to look but you. And you loved the way he looked at you, with soft warm and inviting eyes.

“Where’d you learn to play?” You ask when he sits back down with the guitar.

“My dad. He used to play all the time, I guess I just kinda picked it up.” He began to pluck the strings of the instrument.

“This was his favorite song,” he continues.

His fingers dance elegantly along the strings of the guitar. Creating a nice sound to match for when he begins to hum along. “I can’t remember the words, but it went something like-”

He continues to sing how he thinks he remembers the song going, playing along as he does. Naturally you close your eyes to just listen to him. Listening to how clear and deep his voice is, how it causes you to melt away.

“Do you know any other songs?” you say when he finishes.

He looks up at you, and pauses before he speaks. Taking a quick glance of your lips, he looks away faster than you can blink, but you still catch it.

“Uh- yeah. Yeah I know a few.” he stutters a little trying to avoid making eye contact with you.

“I’ll play another one.” He finally looks at you one last time, but you’re still giving him the lustful gaze you gave him a few moments ago when he looked at you the first time. He tries to look away but he likes the eye contact you guys are keeping. He likes it so much that he slightly throws his guitar from over his lap and reaches over to place both hands on each side of your face. Pulling you in for an intense and heated kiss.

One hand still rested on your cheek and the other hand sliding behind your head right above your neck. He can feel you smiling into the kiss, happy for him to finally be touching you the way you wanted.

You pull away first, lips swollen and heavy breathing but there's still little to no distance between the both of you. His eyes never leave yours when he’s still trying to catch his breath. You find that he looks even more attractive this way, he was charming before but he just looks so enchanting right now.

He’s looking at you like he needs more and you’re more than happy to give it to him because you feel the exact same way. Now it’s your turn to grab his face and pull him into another eager kiss until he gently lays you on the floor and you wrap your arms around his neck to get him as close to you as possible.

You’d say the date went well, you got a chance to know more about him just as you wanted to. Just not in the way you thought you would.

“Do you need me to walk you up?” He asks when you hand him back his extra helmet. “Um no, I think I’ll be fine.” You say although you’re really just scared of how your friend will react when she sees him bringing you back so late.

“Oh…” He says rubbing his hand across the back of his neck.

“But I did have a lot of fun tonight.” you hurry and say to stop him from getting the wrong idea. “Good, I enjoyed myself too.” he smiles when you do. “I think it’s time for me to go in.” You say although, you stand there for a while longer. Just looking at him. “Goodnight.” He replies to you.

“Goodnight.” you linger for just a few seconds longer. “I’ll text you later.” you say lastly before finally getting ready to walk away. “Oh by the way…” He says before you could go anywhere.

“Is your friend single?” he finishes.

“Huh?” you’re at a loss for words. You don’t even know how to react to that question after the both of you just spent hours talking and making out on his apartment floor.

He sees the way your jaw goes slack and he rushes to defend himself, waving his palm in the air.

“No no no, It’s not what you’re thinking. Sohee was just interested, and very adamant about making sure that I got her information.”

“Oh?” you laugh feeling relieved. “Oh, yeah that makes sense. I knew that.” you lie.

And he lets out a sigh of relief

“Here,” He says as he pulls up Sohee’s contact on his phone. “You can just send him her number.” He continues as he passes his phone to you.

“Okay,” You say when you pass the phone back to him, having sent your bestfriends number to Sohee. “Great, I’ll text you tomorrow then.” He says.

“And I’ll answer.”

The conversation lingers for just a while longer before you watch him ride off on his bike and you make your way up to your apartment unit. Giggly about your date with Eunseok. You expect your best friend to be asleep at this time of night, so you try your best to be quiet when you sneak in. Carefully turning the doorknob and opening the door to your dark apartment.

However you couldn’t be anymore wrong as your face is nearly met with a shoe the second you open the door. You don’t even get a chance to say anything before another one comes flying at you. “What the hell are you doing?” You finally get a chance to yell in between her throwing yet another shoe.

“Do you know what time it is?” She yells at you. “It’s one in the morning. Where the hell were you?” She continues. “Why is your location off?” “Why haven’t you been answering my calls?”

She asks a million questions without giving you time to answer any of them. “Do you know how worried I was?”

“Aww you care about me?” You clench your heart.

“No! Who’s gonna pay your half of the rent if you’re dead??”

“Oh?” you throw your hands back down to your side.

“Well, now that I know you’re alive. Tell me everything.” She squeals and plops down on the couch. FInally calming down so you could sit down besides her.

“Okay~ so we went back to his apartment-” “You went to his apartment?” She raises her voice to you once again.

“Yeah, but look I’m alive.” You stand and hold your hands up in defense before she could hit you again.

“...Fine.” She rolls her eyes and puts her arms back down from getting ready to hit you. “But why was your location off, and why didn’t you answer any of my calls?”

“My phone died.” you try to plead your case.

“So did you follow any of the rules?” She throws her hands down.

“Well-” You begin to say but get cut off when her phone rings and she shifts her attention from you to her phone. “Oh it’s sohee… continue.” she begins nonchalantly.

“Okay so we-” You get cut off again when she begins screaming, “Sohee texted me, oh my god my man texted me” she starts jumping all over you when she comes to reality.

“wait… you had sex?” she stops thinking about sohee to continue

“uh.. look sohee texted you!” you try to distract her

“Y/n don’t play with me.”

“We only kissed.”

“with tongue?” she asks

“maybe…” you say looking off to the side.

“Oh my god, I knew I should've given you those condoms.”

“We didn't need the condoms.”

“you’re right, I'm definitely ready to be a godmother.” She shakes her head. “Godmother?” you question.

“So does this mean Sungchan is out of the picture?”

“No, me and eunseok were just a one time thing. That’s what he does with girls anyways, Right?”

Sungchan, Jung Sungchan? Tall and attractive basketball player you’ve been tutoring for three months and crushing on since forever? No. He’s never gonna be out of the picture.

Although, it’s definitely safe to say he was never even in the picture. considering you’ve been waiting on him to make a move since he accidentally slipped up and directly described you as his ideal type.

It was only 2 weeks ago but you really hated the anticipation of waking up everyday wondering if it was gonna be the day he finally asked you out.

And it still hadn’t changed even today when you walk into your biology class, searching for him immediately only to find that he was already looking at you. smiling and waving for you to come over.

“Goodmorning.” he speaks first

“goodmorning.”

“I got you coffee.” He says placing the cup of iced americano in front of you.

“You didn’t have to.” You take your seat besides him.

“I wanted to thank you for helping me pass my midterms.”

“It's my job.”

“and you do it very well. Also, are you busy today? It'd be nice to have you cheer me on at practice.”

“I’ll be there.”

You guys were already basically dating, with you showing up to all his basketball practices and games. going over to his apartment or having him come to yours. knowing all of his friends and even texting each other goodnight/goodmorning.

The only thing missing was the official title of being his girlfriend.

“Good morning class.” The professor starts and waits for everyone to respond before carrying on with her lesson for the day. “You all will be put into groups of three to work on a project. And of course, I will be choosing teams.”

She reads off the list for a while before getting to you.

“Okay group number 5, Y/N, Eunseok…” The last name goes completely unheard. You’re scrunching your eyebrows thinking that maybe there has to be a mistake because you don’t have a class with someone named Eunseok.

“Sweet we get to work together.” Sungchan nudges you and you give him a half smile while looking around the room for the person you met last night. and sure enough you find the handsome guitar player sitting by the window of the room. his eyes already on you.

If there was a word that could accurately describe the emotions you’re going through it’d be fucked. Was there a better word? Probably but the only word that came to mind was fuck. Well actually the first word that came to mind was “Huh” because you had never noticed that you shared this class with him before now.

But also because you thought you’d never see him again after last night. Assuming that he probably had a list of girls on his roster. But now that you knew that you were gonna be seeing him a lot more than you thought, you were fucked.

“Eunseok… Hey.” You say trying to muster up a sincere smile.

“Oh do you guys know each other?” Sungchan asks, looking at the both of you.

“Yeah.” Eunseok answers before you can say anything

“Only a little.” you add, trying to ignore the way Eunseok looks at you. “There’s a seat right here.” Sunghchan says, pointing to the chair beside him. You were no genius but allowing your somewhat one night stand to sit beside your potential boyfriend just didn’t seem like the brightest idea.

So that’d justify why you suddenly and aggressively yell “no” when sungchan offers. “I mean, you can just sit right here.” You giggle when they both look at you shocked.

Sports were never really your thing, but it became your thing when you started tutoring Sungchan. Loving the way he looks when he’s all sweaty, out of breath and his index finger always points directly to you right before he makes a shot.

Seeing him on the court always reminds you of why you stayed up late nights talking your best friend’s head off about him. He’s good at what he does and he also looks hella good doing it. Yes, him being tall, and a basketball player does play a big role in why you’re so attracted to him, but that wasn’t why you fell for him in the first place. It’d definitely have to be how special he made you feel, or how often he praised and complimented you.

Or it could have been the way he always goes straight to you whenever he helps to win one of his games. You were still trying to figure out exactly why you liked him so much, but also trying to find out if he even liked you, or if you just thought he did.

“Water?” you ask when he runs to you, and hunches over with his hands on his knees while trying to catch his breath.

“Thanks.” He receives the water bottle from your hand and you observe how much smaller the bottle looks when he’s holding it. Your eyes stay trained to him when he brings the drink up his lips and he tilts his head back for the water to easily slide down his throat. You pay attention to the way his arm slightly flexed and how his damp hair stuck to certain parts of his forehead and around his face.

“I’m gonna go get changed and then we can get ready to go.” He speaks through his heavy breaths, while pushing his hair back once again flexing his arm.

“Okay.”

He leans down again, this time his breaths are stable. He just wants to get on your level so you don't have to look up at him. Making eye contact with you when he does so.

“You did a good job cheering for me.” He smiles at you, easily leaving you flustered when he speaks so only you could hear him.

“Isn’t that why you asked me to come?”

“That’s exactly why I asked, nobody else does it like you.”

“Go get changed Sungchan.” You push him away weakly.

There were many reasons why you liked sungchan, so it’s very hard to really pinpoint when you actually started falling for him and why. He was sweet, and funny, He was also very gentle with you. He was completely different from the stereotypes that other sports players had built for themselves.

“You have 3 months until the big game,” You begin to start a conversation while walking beside him to your car.

“Yeah, I’m kinda nervous about it.”

“You’re nervous? You’re Jung Sungchan, best player on the whole team. You’re gonna do amazing.”

“Are you gonna be there?” he stops in front of you.

“I wouldn’t miss it.” You say looking up at him.

“Then we’ll definitely win.”

If only he was your boyfriend. If only he was your boyfriend you could kiss him goodbye instead of just imagining it. If only he was your boyfriend you could hold his hand instead of letting it just swing closely, just to get half the satisfaction of having your hand in his.

If you had to give all of the reasons why you liked sungchan, you’d probably run out of time and breath. But if you were to give just the one reason you’d even consider looking at someone else it’d be because he strung you along as if you had all the time in the world.

Because he’d say and do things that make you feel like there’s just no way he doesn’t like you the way you like him. But then he’d also say and do things that make you feel like you’re just reaching.

“I’ll te-” His stopped mid sentence when two girls who you assumed were best friends walk up behind the both of you. Looking up at him, because of the way he towers over the three of you.

“Sungchan.” one of the girls speaks.

You watch him turn around to face the girls, and then switch your focus to watch them. They’re pretty, both of them. It doesn’t make you question yourself but it is something that you observe.

“I think you’re really cute, can I have your number?” She asks, completely ignoring you standing behind him. even if she had acknowledged you it wouldn't change anything. it wasn’t like you could get mad and call her a home wrecker or anything.

But when he turns to you instead of answering first you feel a kaleidoscope of butterflies in your stomach. Nodding your head to ensure that you didn’t have an issue with him giving them his number. Were you actually okay with it? no. but you were curious to see what he was going to do.

He pleasantly surprises you when he shakes his head no, and wraps one of his arms around your shoulders. “I’m kinda busy right now.”

“ah, I'm so sorry for bothering you guys.” the girl looks at you and then runs off with her friend

When they’re gone you look up to him expecting to talk about the interaction that just happened. but he doesn’t, only moving his arm from around you and continuing from where he left off before he was interrupted.

“I'll text you later.” he says, opening the door to your car.

“Okay”

“drive safe.” Is the last thing he says before you split ways.

“I will.”

And the night with Eunseok? You plan on never talking or even thinking about it again. Was it fun? Yes, you definitely enjoyed yourself. And you wouldn’t be convincing anyone if you said that you hadn’t even thought about him once since last night.

But if you were thinking about making things work with Sungchan, then you had to go about life pretending that Eunseok didn’t even exist. Which he was making very hard to do.

You look away from your notes to look at the notification that pops up on your phone. Assuming that it’s probably Sungchan texting you just he assured you he would. However the name that flashes across your phone isn’t Sungchans.

“Shit.” You whisper aloud and it causes your best friend to also look away from her notes. “What?”

“Eunseok just texted me.” You shyly admit.

“Why’s that a bad thing?” She sits up fully.

“I didn’t think he’d talk to me again.”

“So you just wanted to fuck and never talk again.” She bluntly asks.

“We didn’t have sex… and yes. I thought that he did that with everyone.”

“Okay what did he say?” She points to your phone, while still looking at you.

“He asked if I was busy.”

“Well hurry up and text him back before he thinks you are busy.” She gestures to your phone.

“I can’t text him, what about Sungchan?” You ask.

“Sungchan? As in Jung Sungchan. Girl, are we still talking about this man?” You best friend rolls her eyes.

“Sungchan whom I’ve had a crush on since forever.”

“Exactly and where has that gotten you?”

Leave it to her to be brutally honest with you, while also making you feel incredibly stupid

“We’re working on it.” You say lowly and look to the side.

“Yeah right, tell him you’re free.”

“Fine.”

You aren’t doing anything wrong, right? It’s not like you and Sungchan are actually dating. Actually you are a free woman, so why not explore your options. Besides, you're just hanging out so really you aren’t doing anything wrong.

His response comes immediately after you tell him you’re not doing anything. “He said he wants me to come watch them rehearse.” You bite your bottom lip while looking at your best friend.

You’ve come to find that you actually love watching Eunseok play. You can tell just how much he loves what he does. All in the way his fingers elegantly dance along with the strings, creating a captivating melody that has you mesmerized.

While subconsciously leaning forward, you stop focusing on his hands and start focusing on his face. How concentrated he looks trying to get the notes right on his instrument.

He looks up when he begins to feel you watching him, smiling when his eyes meet yours.

“You wanna try?”

“No, no I can't, I'll break it.” You shake your head and wave your hands but he doesn’t listen to any of your arguments as he stands up and gently hooks the guitar strap around your shoulder. While resting the heavy instrument in your lap.

“Eunseok,” You look up at him, protesting once again.

“Just hold it like this.” He says, moving your hand to where it needs to be.

“Then just…” He demonstrates by grabbing your other hand and using your own fingers to strum the strings of his guitar. Showing you a few times before he allowed you to try again on your own.

“See you’ve got it.” He speaks right by your ear, still holding the neck of the guitar up so you’d be more comfortable.

“I did it!” you smile, not noticing how close he was until you turn your face to look at him. When his lips are so close to yours, you suddenly feel like you have stopped breathing. Your body goes into complete shock for a few seconds, and you don't know what to do.

“Uh, what a nice guitar, how much was this?” You begin to ramble, out of complete embarrassment, Striking a few chords on his guitar and jumping when they come out horrible.

“I’ll just give this back.”

Your heart's racing now and you feel the heat rush to your cheeks. Why did you let your roommate talk you into this? The “why” is unclear and all you know is that his small and deep laugh doesn’t help aid in the embarrassment you feel right now.

“I can teach you more if you want.”

“Uh, no it’s fine. That’s definitely more your thing.” You shake your head and pass him the guitar back.

You glance up at the other boys, seeing that they had paused their practicing just to watch you and Eunseok. “Actually, maybe I should go. I don’t wanna interrupt you guys' practice time.” You look back up to him.

“You aren’t interrupting anything.”

He says to try to stop you and when it doesn’t work he looks over at wonbin. Who’s only gesturing at him to go after you.

“Let me at least walk you to your car.” He speaks up as he runs behind you.

“Okay.” is all that you say, slowing down so that he can catch up with you and walk in silence. You have a bunch of thoughts running through your head, feeling the need to get them all out before you forget everything.

“About last night,” He stops walking completely when you begin to speak.

“I just wanted to apologize. I don’t usually do that, well I’m not usually like that. I don’t know what happened. And I hope that it doesn’t make things awkward between us.” You explain

“We can just forget it all happened if you want.”

“Could we?”

“Of course.”

He smiles at you and you smile back, relieved to have gotten that off your chest. Knowing that class is gonna be so much easier now that you aren’t giving him the wrong Idea.

“But we can still hang out right. Because I really like hanging out with you.” He continues when you start to walk again.

Hearing him say that makes you realize, you actually like hanging out with him too. Watching him play and getting to know him better.

“I like hanging out with you too.” You turn to look up at him when you finally reach your car.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes, you will.”

It goes quiet again, mainly because there’s nothing else left to say. But you’re not ready to leave yet. You suddenly start to feel the same way you felt when you first met him. It could have been because there was no one else around so he had nowhere else to look but at you.

Having his eyes on you was like having your own personal spotlight, his dark obsidian eyes shining down on you like you were the prettiest thing to walk the earth. That might have been the reason you slowly gravitated closer to him. Slowly closing the space between both of you until your chest was pressed against his.

He leans down but only a little, just enough for you to feel his breath brush against your face. And he’s still not as close as you want him to be. So you latch on to each of his shoulders and get up on your tippy toes so that your face could be leveled with his.

Now his nose is barely touching yours, and your eyes are trained to his lips. Pausing before you think to kiss him, “Are you gonna apologize for this tomorrow?” He asks against your lips,

“Probably,” you say and it comes out almost in a whisper.

Despite your answer he still wraps his arms around your waist as if it were even possible for you to get even closer to him. And he attaches his lips onto yours, while leaning down to your height so that you could place your feet flatly on the ground again.

Your arms wrap tightly around his neck pulling him towards you like he’s the last man you’re ever gonna kiss.

“okay.” you whisper when you break the kiss

“okay.”

“Goodnight.”

“goodnight.” the two of you go back and forth.

“I should probably go now.”

“Alright, get home safe.” he says but neither of you let go of eachother. your arms still wrapped tightly around his neck and his hands still sitting firmly on your waist.

Maybe it was a good thing you let your best friend drag you out that night. Even though she never made good on her promises, but it wasn’t like you were expecting much from her. Being with Eunseok was so much different than anything you’ve ever experienced. He did all the things you wanted Sungchan to, and he was just as gentle with you as Sungchan was. He listened to you and made you feel desired.

Which is exactly why you agreed everytime he asked you out again.

However, with going on dates with Eunseok and still somewhat kinda seeing Sungchan things had begun to overlap and it started to get hard balancing the both of them. So you went to get advice from the person that got you in this mess in the first place.

“Alright how about this, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, are for sungchan. Since he was here first.” your best friend writes down on the notebook in between you.

“Okay.” you nod

“and then Thursday, Friday, and Saturday are for Eunseok.”

“And sunday?” You ask, looking up at her.

“That’s your day off, this is a full time job.” She explains

“oh.”

And you knew you could trust her. (No you didn’t) That’s why she was your best friend, she always had the best advice. (No she didn’t)

Going between the two boys was actually quite easy, and even kinda fun. Coming home to recap with your best friend after everyday and using code names so that her new boyfriend wouldn’t catch on.

“Any progress with the frog?” You best friend asked when you sat your laptop down on the coffee table and took a seat criss cross on the floor in front of it.

“He told me his grades are getting better. That’s a good thing.” you answer.

“You know that’s not what I’m asking.” You didn’t have to look to know that she was rolling her eyes.

“He’s been practicing a lot.” You answer again, still trying to avoid the question you knew she was asking.

“Did you guys kiss?” She just asks

“Wait, Kiss? Like a princess and the frog kinda kiss? Wait, you guys have a frog that can play basketball?” Sohee sits up confused.

“It’s just girl stuff, don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.” Your best friend says while leaning in to give him small butterfly kisses on his lips.

“Okay.” He obeys and goes back to laying his head on her lap.

“No, we didn’t kiss. We haven’t done anything.” You answer her question and turn back around towards your laptop to finish the list of assignments you’ve been putting off since you were spending more time with sungchan and Eunseok.

“And the rock?” is all she says, but it causes your lips to turn up into a smile. And you have to look to the side so that she doesn’t see the way your excitement grows when you think about him.

“We…” You start

“You really like him huh?” She asks

“The rock?” Sohee sits up again.

“It’s nothing, baby.” She shushes him.

She was right, you definitely did like him, a little too much you think.

So much so that even when you weren’t around him you were still thinking about him. So much so that small things reminded you of him. So much so that your heart did a little cartwheel whenever you got a message from him.

It was just so easy to be with him, you didn’t even have time to think about if he liked you or not.

Eunseok kept his hand loosely around yours while you jumped and squealed at all the sea animals in the aquarium. Pointing to the ones that you thought were especially enchanting, While you watched the swimming sea creatures he watched you.

Paying attention to how he could see the reflections of the fishes through your eyes, seeing how your face lit up.

“This is so beautiful.” You whisper. “Isn’t it?” He says

“Sometimes I wish I was a fish…” You speak while still staring ahead. “I could see this everyday.” you say referencing the pretty scenes of underwater life.

“if you were a fish, you’d be a jellyfish” he said looking at the fish swimming behind the glass.

You turn your head to watch him when he moves to stand behind you and wrap his arms around your torso.

“Why a jellyfish?”

“Cause they're my favorite sea animal, and they're really pretty.” He turns and smiles down at you.

“You think I’m pretty?” You ask but he doesn’t answer. Only leaning down to give you a chaste kiss on the lips.

“You didn’t answer my question.” You turn your whole body around to face him.

“I don’t think pretty is a strong enough word to describe you.” He whispers against your lips right before he gives another kiss. This one being more passionate and intense than the first one.

If this was something that he did with everyone, you bet they felt special. Because you definitely did. No matter how many times you tried to tell yourself not to get too attached to him, he always did something that made you imagine what it’d be like to go all the way with him.

But then there’s sungchan…

And when you were with sungchan things were just different.

You kicked a bit of sand up every time you took a step, walking beside Sungchan with your hands dangling beside you. The beach was completely empty, it’s just you and sungchan walking along the shore listening to the crashing of waves.

The shades of blue and orange reflected off the vast sea beside you. The wind blowing past your skin causes you to shiver and wrap your sweater tighter around your body.

You weren’t a big fan of beaches, or more the idea of them. The crowds of people sunbathing in the sand and having your food stolen by unruly seagulls. But this wasn’t that, this was romantic and intimate.

It was perfect, being here with sungchan not a care in the world.

“Are you cold?” He asks slipping his jacket off

“No, I’m okay.” He ignores you completely and wraps his varsity jacket over your shoulders

“Thanks.” You tug the ends of the jacket closer together.

“The sunset is so pretty.” You look out beside you, watching specifically where the sky and the sea meet. Even with the harsh crashing of waves and screaming of birds, it still wasn’t enough to cover the awkward silence that the both of you had managed to maintain.

“I usually come here when I’m stuck on something and I don’t know what to do.”

“What are you stuck on?” You turn to ask him.

He stops walking and it kinda starts to scare you.

“I don’t know how to say this.” that’s when you hold your breath, for the first time in a long time you think he’s about to ask the question you’ve been wanting him to ask.

“It’s okay, take your time.” you grab his hand without breaking eye contact with him.

Not another word leaves his mouth, because instead of telling you what’s been bothering him. He just leans down and connects his lips with yours.

It’s gentle and tender. Just how you always imagined your first kiss with him would be. It was amazing, it’s like waking up on Christmas and seeing that you got exactly what you asked for. But when you pull away from the kiss and look up your heart drops.

You liked being with Eunseok, but you’ve always liked Sungchan. You were very sure of it. So why did you imagine Eunseok when Sungchan kissed you?

The thought confuses you so much that you go back for another kiss from him, hoping that his one would reset your brain and get you back on track. But it doesn’t because when you open your eyes, You still see Sungchan.

“How did it go, with the frog?” your best friend asks the second you walk back into your shared apartment.

“It was good.”

“It doesn’t sound too good.” She says, “Did anything happen?”

“Yeah, umm we kissed.” You say nonchalantly

“Oh my god he finally made a move?” She begins to celebrate for you

“Wait, so are you like… into frogs?” Sohee walks to counter where you and your best friend are.

“No, I thought I was but now I think I like the rock, because when the frog kissed me all I could think about was the rock and now I’m confused.”

“You were thinking about the rock?” You best friend asks

“So you like to kiss rocks?” Sohee adds

“No boy hush.” She holds her index finger out to him.

“GIrl what are you on?” she turns back to you

“This is your fault, I knew I shouldn’t have continued to see him.”

“Wait so you told her to kiss the frog?” Sohee asks, still very confused.

“I told you to go out with him, have fun, be young. Not, fall in love with him.”

“Are we talking about the rock or the frog?” Sohee interjects again.

“I’m not in love with him, I don’t even like him.” You roll your eyes

“Okay I don’t know what’s going on but I know that’s a lie. Because the way you talk about the rock makes me want to find a rock. Sohee turns to you

“So you’d cheat on me with a rock.” Your best friend turns to him.

“No, of course not. There’s no rock in the world that looks at me the way you do.”

“And there never will be.” She adds, “But my baby is right, you definitely like the rock.”

“No, I like the frog.” You correct.

“Not anymore.” they both say in sync.

Confused as you were, you didn’t stop seeing him. You needed to find if you actually like him, or if you just liked the way he made you feel.

You sat right in front of the stage where Eunseok and his band performed. He was right, over time you’d gotten used to being at these kinds of events. Just not for the reason you imagined, you liked being here because he was here. You got to see him in his element.

And you found this is where he was his best.

Even though you’d gotten used to being here, it didn’t make the music any better. It just got easier to tune out. The only music being bearable was the music that Eunseok made. The music that got you here in the first place. The music that made you question your true feelings.

You’re lost in thought, staring at him. Watching him flick at the strings of the guitar and while you were watching you failed to notice that the song he was performing wasn’t a song you heard before. It’s beautiful and different from any of the other songs they’ve done.

It’s slower in tempo and amorous. Just the song he was playing made you realize that you might actually like him, You might like him alot. It wasn’t just the way he made you feel, it was him himself.

And you become very sure of it when leaves the stage and makes his way to you kissing you in front of everyone. You become sure of it when he kisses you and you don’t imagine anyone else but him.

“R&R everyone.” You faintly hear in the speakers behind you.

But then there was sungchan.

“You’re gonna be at the game right?” He asks, leaning against the door in front of you.

“I told you a million times, I won’t miss it.”

“I just wanna make sure you remember, I’ll be sad if you don’t make it.”

“I’ll definitely be there, sungchan.”

“Promise?” he asks, holding out his pinky to you.

“Really?” You laugh

“Yes, I need you to promise me.”

You’re still giggling but you wrap your pinky finger around his and give him the reassurance that he wants to hear.

“I promise that I’ll be there. I’ll be cheering louder than anyone else.” You promise with your finger still looped around his.

“Good.” He gets ready to give you a small peck, but out of panic you turn your head so he kisses your cheek instead and start fake coughing so he doesn’t think anything of it.

“Sorry, I think I’m coming down with something.” You say in between coughs. “But I’ll see you tomorrow, Sorry, bye.” You don’t give him any time to say anything before you close the door right in his face.

The second you close the door and turn around, you’re faced with your best friend. “That’s messed up.”

“What?”

“You know what.” She smirks, putting an emphasis on the “know”.

“I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I'm not judging girl. do your thing.” she points and walks back towards her room.

it definitely felt like she was judging, but you couldn’t blame her. you were judging too.

You were there, just as you promised. Sitting on the bleachers, screaming his name whenever you felt appropriate.

The scores are too close to even predict who you think is gonna win, but you think it doesn’t even matter. because no matter what, you just wanted to be here to support sungchan.

Although you can’t help but feel your heart drop when you see the look on his face, when he looks up at the scores and then looks around the gym to find you . Wishing that you could just just the numbers yourself. or that there was at least something you could do, but there wasn’t anything left to do but sit there and cheer for him like you promised you’d do.

When halftime comes around you make your way down to him, with a bottle of water in hand.

“you’re here.” He smiles even though he’s still out of breath.

“I told you I would be.”

“I didn’t see you at first, I was starting to get worried.”

“I can tell.”

“Really, was I bad?” he asks, sitting up straight when he’s gotten his breaths tamed.

“You’re doing good Sungchan, can’t wait to celebrate when you win.”

“I’m glad you’re here.” he says lastly and you respond with “I made you a promise.” before he leans down to place a small kiss on your cheek.

“Okay, now go win this game.” you pat his back.

“you better be watching when I do.” He points to you when he runs back over to his team.

“Who's winning?” Your best friend asks in your ear.

“Omg you’re here.” you get up and squeal when you see her.

“don’t be too happy, I'm only here to save your ass for what’s about to happen.”

“What's about to happen?” You ask.

“If I tell you, then it won’t happen.” she shrugs

This is one of those many times that you’d like to throw her in a box and ship her to australia. because now you’re trying to think of every possible scenario of what could go wrong.

And you wished she’d just tell you, so you could prevent whatever catastrophe is about to take place.

as you’re still thinking Sohee walks in and takes a seat besides your best friend. His arm instantly wrapped around her when he asks “who’s winning.”

“So far it’s a tie.” you explain distantly.

“oh yeah, eunseoks waiting for you in the hallway.”

“Eunseok?” you ask jumping up.

“yeah. he’s in the hallway.” he says again.

You run out of the gym and into the hallway where you expect to find Eunseok. Looking around hastily when you see him already smiling at you.

“What are you doing here?” you question when he pulls you into a hug, planting a small kiss on your lips.

“It seemed really important to you.” He looks down at you, with you still wrapped in his arms

“Sungchan’s playing, and he’s been working really hard. so I just couldn’t miss this.” You explain.

“You guys must be very close.” he asks but it comes out more as a statement than a question.

“Yeah, you could say that.” You agree.

“Okay, well you finish watching the game… while i go get us some snacks.” he says in between kisses.

“I'll come with you. I need to make sure you get the right ones.” You speak against his lips.

“I'll get the right ones.”

“But i need to make sure.” You go back and forth with him.

“sounds like you’re just trying to make excuses.”

“I'm not making excuses, I'm just very picky about my snacks.” you smile up at him before going in for

Time went by so fast you didn’t even realize you were out for so long. Neither of you even made it to get snacks because you stood in the hallway kissing him. not realizing that the game was over until you heard claps and screams coming from inside the gym.

“Fuck.” You curse under your breath when you realize that you had missed the entire game.

“what?”

“i gotta go.” he starts to ask why but you don’t explain anything as you run back into the gym to see Sungchan and his team cheering. Making it obvious to you, who had won.

This must’ve been what your best friend was trying to warn you about. this had to be it, because all the guilt you’re feeling right now makes you wanna cry.

Especially when Sungchan runs over to you with the biggest smile on his face. A smile that you tried to match but failed. Luckily he was too proud of himself to notice how you were feeling.

“you won.” you say to mask the guilt that’s eating you inside out.“I knew you would.”

“I did it for you.”

It was sickening to say the least, Sungchan made the winning shot in your name and you weren’t even there to see it. What's even worse is when he grabs your hand to wrap up in a hug and places a tender kiss on your forehead.

“you gotta come out at some point.” you’ve locked yourself in your room and decided not to talk to anybody at all, because of how bad you felt about what you did to sungchan. And to be honest you weren’t really ready to face either one of them in class.

“Go away.” You yell from your bed.

“Girl. don’t get mad at me cause you decided to have your tongue down your man's throat while your other man was winning a basketball game for you.” She snaps back

“You’re not making me feel any better.” You

“You shouldn’t even feel bad, you think either of them are locking themselves in their room and crying because they kissed another girl.” she questions through the door..

That’s when you get up and walk to your door to say what you have to say to her face.

“I don’t know how much it meant to him that I was there, and I missed it. I couldn’t even do the one thing he asked me for.”

“Okay? He probably hasn’t even noticed that you missed the last three days of classes. And besides he’s just been stringing you along. It’s not like he was really ever gonna make any commitment to you.”

She was wrong, but she’s always wrong. That’s something about her, she has a fantastic talent of being just wrong all the time. This time she was wrong about sungchan not noticing that you missed class.

Because he stood right in front of your apartment door with your favorite ice cream. Getting ready to knock when he sees Eunseok get off the elevator with a paper bag in hand. They both look at eachother confused but Eunseok is the first to speak,

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see my girlfriend.” Sungchan says adjusting the tin of ice cream in his hand.

“Are you aware that your girlfriend has a boyfriend?” Eunseok asks referring to your best friend,

“Huh?”

While you’re still explaining to your best friend why you’re so hurt about what you did to Sungchan. There's a knock at the door that causes you to jump slightly. You hold your breath while your best friend walks over to answer the door.

“Y/n your boyfriends are here.” She yells which warrants them to look at each other and then back at her.

“Huh?” They say in unison.

“Fuck.” you curse under your breath.

You walk out to the living room, to see that indeed both Sungchan and eunseok were standing side by side staring back at you with confused expressions written on their faces.

If you could pull out a sword and swallow it right there, you would. Right in front of them, maybe then that would solve every life problem you’ve ever had, including this one.

“What.. umm. What are you doing here?” You’re not even sure which of them you’re directing it to.

“I thought you were sick so I bought ice cream.” “I brought your favorite ice cream.” they both say at the same time.

“You brought ice cream cause you thought she was sick?” Your best friend asks but she gets ignored when Sungchan looks down to the jar of ice cream that Eunseok’s holding. “That’s not her favorite.”

“She loves this one.” Eunseok looks at him.

“She likes cookies and cream.” Sungchan speaks holding up the ice cream that he's holding in his own hands.

“She hates cookies and cream,” Your best friend answers before you even get a chance to say anything.

“I thought you liked cookies and cream.” Sungchan finally looks at you.

“I do like it.” You lie.

“Now girl, why are you lying?” You best friend speaks up for you.

“Shut the fuck up.” You turn to say to her with gritted teeth,

“Oh my bad, she loves cookies and cream because she can’t ever just choose one flavor.”

“Do you ever stop talking?” you ask passive aggressively.

To that she just throws her hands up in the air and mutters a very insincere “sorry.” while walking to her room.

“So do you like cookies and cream? Cause I can go get a different one if you don’t like this one.”

“I love cookies and cream.” You lie through a tight smile as you look at Eunseok who could very easily tell you were lying. And you knew it, especially with the way he cocks one of his eyebrows up.

“Thank you guys for-” You start but get cut off by Eunseok. “Who’s Sungchan’s girlfriend?” He asks, leaving you confused.

“Sungchan’s girlfriend?” You repeat, looking at Sungchan, your heart completely beating outside of your chest.

“You’re my girlfriend.” He responds to you.

“Huh? Your girlfriend?” you ask now even more confused.

“I thought we made things official that day at the beach.”

“You didn’t say anything, you just kissed me” By the time you think to stop yourself, it’s too late. You’re too scared to look at Eunseoks reaction but you do anyways. “Do you like him?” he asks calmly and it makes you nervous.

“I..” You're not even sure how to answer the question with them both standing in front of you.

“I understand.” He places the jar of ice cream in your hands and walks out of the door. “No, I-” Instinctively you go to chase after him. But sungchan’s voice alone stops you right in your tracks. “What are you doing?”

What are you doing? Things were never supposed to get this serious with Eunseok. So why do you feel so disappointed seeing that Sungchan is still here instead of him. And would things be better if it were the other way around.

“Sorry- I think you should go.” You finally look up at him.

“What?”

“You should just go.” You say once again, trying to blink back the tears that are threatening to fall. Watching him silently leave, taking the ice cream with him.

It’s been six days since you’ve talked to either Sungchan or Eunseok. You’d say it was better this was, but that’d be a lie. It was better when your heart didn’t drop every time you ran into Eunseok in the hallway, or at least when he would just respond to your text,

It was better when you didn’t feel a wave of disappointment whenever you opened your notifications only to see that it was just Sungchan begging you to talk to him. It was better when you didn’t go through your day feeling like there was something missing.

The rain tapping against your window eases your mind as you reread through all of Sungchans messages. Your bottom lip tucked in between your teeth and your books laid out across the floor, from when you attempted to catch up on your homework but failed when google decided to notify you about your old photos with Sungchan.

Sungchan: Hi

Sungchan: Can we please talk?

Sungchan: Fine, I'll just talk.

Sungchan: I know I haven’t been really straightforward with you about how I felt. So I hope that I can fix that now, I like you. I like you alot and I miss you and I just want you to talk to me please. I don’t know what I did wrong but if you just tell me I'll fix it, I promise I will.

The more you read the last message the heavier your heart gets. Once again you feel like you're about to cry, but you can’t because you’ve already cried all you can cry. You know you need to put your phone down and do something else to take your mind off of this but no matter how many times you tell yourself that you just can’t put it down.

It doesn’t help that it’s completely silent, there’s nothing here at all to distract you from your own thoughts. and when you think about opening your social media accounts nothing seems entertaining enough to keep you from clicking off of them and back on to sungchans messages.

However, the knock at the door is more than enough to make you forget everything. you get up to answer it assuming it’s just one of your neighbors or something, but when you open it to see sungchan right across from you, you almost close the door in his face. or at least you imagine it.

“Why are you here?” you mutter.

“I really need to talk to you.” He walks right in and closes the door.

“We-”

“Just listen, I like you, I like being around you, I like talking to you. I like the way you support me, the way you make me feel. I know I’ll never find someone even close to you and I know It shouldn’t have taken me this long to tell you, but I was afraid of how you’d react. And even if you don’t like me the way I like you, I hope that we can at least just stay friends.”

You can’t think of anything to say even though you know he’s waiting for you to say something. Your brain is full of over a million thoughts, that you fear that if you do say something it’s gonna come out mumbled and confusing.

You did like him, you really did. But after a while it felt like you were just convincing yourself that you did. And this should’ve been enough to make it clear who your heart really belonged to but you’re still clinging on to the little bit of feelings that you have left for Sungchan. So you tell him “I like you too, but I think we should just stay friends for now. That’s worked out really good for us so far.”

To which he laughs and pulls you into a hug. “It definitely has.” This makes you feel somewhat better. It hushes half the thoughts that you had before. Plus the hug is warm and comforting and exactly what you didn’t know that you needed.

“Are you crying?” He asks looking down at you

“No.” You lie muffled into his chest.

Now that things with Sungchan were going much better you were still trying to work out things with Eunseok. And “work things out” just meant that you ranted to your best friend every day after class about how much you miss your rock.

“The frog and I are okay, but the rock won’t talk to me, he’s ignoring all my messages and he won’t even look at me in class.”

“Maybe because he’s a rock.” Sohee blatantly speaks but you ignore him and keep talking as if he isn’t even there.

“I just miss him so much, I miss playing in his hair and listening to him play his guitar while I’m trying to study.”

“Okay so correct me if I’m wrong but I’m starting to think that your rock is a code name.” Sohee interrupts again.

“Oh baby you’re thinking too much, you just need to relax. Here let me…” Your best friend places her hand on his shoulder to pull him back and stop him from saying anything else but it still doesn't work because he just lays his hand over hers and continues to make his point.

“No wait, I have never seen a rock that plays the guitar and the rock sounds alot like…. Oh my god.” He yells the last part upon coming across his realization.

“Is the Rock Eunseok?” He asks, jumping up off the couch. You’re too stunned to speak or even think. Your body is too stiff to move, you don’t even know how to get yourself out of this situation. “I’m right aren’t I?”

“Yes, Eunseok is the rock.” You say shamefully

“And the frog must be that Sungchan guy.” He adds

“You know Sungchan?’ You look back at him confused.

“Yeah, the basketball player that you cheated on Eunseok with.”

“Now wait, I didn’t cheat.” You hold your hands out as you're ready to defend yourself.

“You might as well have, Eunseoks liked you for so long that I thought the both of you were already married.”

“But we’ve only known each other for like 3 months.” You speak, confused.

“No, he’s liked you for like ever. He used to bother us all the time about you during rehearsals. He talked about you so much that Seunghan threatened to ask you out just so he would make a move.”

“What?” Now you're at a complete loss of words.

“Bro yeah, we were all shocked that he finally talked to you when we saw you at the show. You should’ve been there, well you were but you know what I mean.”

Wonbin noticed you first, because you were the only person in the crowd who had a frown so prominent that he was worried your face was gonna be stuck like that. That’s when he taps Sohee’s arm so that he could see it too but Sohee was too worried about your best friend to really care about how mad you looked. So when he couldn’t get his attention he just turned to Suenghan and called it to his attention instead.

“Wait, I think that’s Y/n.” Suenghan says

“Are you sure? She’s usually happier.” But when wonbin turns around Suenghans already gone to find Eunseok.

“Y/n’s here.” Seunghan says pointing to you while looking at Eunseok. To which Eunseok just shrugged off without even looking in your direction because they’ve been playing with him like that all night. So he just assumed it was another one of their mean jokes. However when Seunghan just laughs and leaves he looks up just to check out of pure curiosity and it was actually you.

He’d already told his band members that the next time he saw you he was just gonna talk to you. And he had intentions on going through with his promise even though you looked extremely unentertained.

Sohee finished explaining the story about the night you and Eunseok met.

“And then he started talking about you even more once you guys finally did start seeing each other.”

“This entire time?” You ask again. “And more.” Sohee adds which makes your best friend chuckle. “Girl, go get your man.”

“He won’t even talk to me.”

“He’s not the one that needs to do the talking.” For the first time in a really long time, your best friend was actually right. So you did as she told you to and reached for your phone.

“I said go get your man not go text him.”

“What if he closes the door in my face?” You ask in a whine.

“Then it would have been very deserved.” She replies.

“But-” You begin to make an excuse but get cut off immediately.

“Go!” They both shout at the same time.

You’re now in the parking lot of his apartment, still hesitant on whether or not you’re ready to face him yet. You know that if you leave the car you’ll be forced to deal with reality so you decide to just stay there for a few more minutes and at least plan out what you wanna say. However all that’s going through your mind is static and everything that Sohee told you.

You’re so confused you begin to talk to yourself. “This whole time?” you say aloud.

No matter how many times you try to talk yourself into leaving your car you just can’t. You even make it as far as to open your car door.

“So how’d it go?” your best friend asks the second you walk back into the door.

“It didn’t.”

“What do you mean it didn’t?” She pipes up.

“I got too scared to even knock on his door.” You speak.

She gets up from the couch and walks to the front door and closes it behind her leaving both you and Sohee completely confused. Then you hear a knock at the door so you answer it because you know exactly who it is. “That’s all you had to do.” She says when you open the door.

That’s when you close the door in her face, and lock it right after. Although you knew she was right. If you wanted to work things out with Eunseok you definitely couldn’t allow your ego to get in the way.

Sitting in your bed, reading over the unsent message over and over again until you finally have the guts to push send. However the more you read it the more you decide against even bothering him.

You let out a long, deep sigh, click your phone off and lay it on the bed beside you while thinking about something to help distract you. However everything you thought of led back to Eunseok. Even when you throw your head back on your pillow and close your eyes all you can think about is him.

“What do I do?” you speak aloud to yourself.

“Oh you need a break. Bad.” Your best friend trespasses into your room.

“What do you have in mind?” you say simply turning your head over in her direction

“I’m thinking we're going to see this new band.” She sits beside you on the bed, while proposing her new idea.

“I don’t think I’m ready to see Eunseok in person yet.”

“He’s not even gonna be there, I’ll have Sohee make sure of it.”

“This better not be one of your little tricks.”

“What? One of my little tricks?” she teases looking off to the side

“I’m not going.” You state firmly.

“No, he’s not gonna be there. I swear.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Suit yourself.” When she doesn’t beg like you expected her to, you start to get concerned. “You don’t want me to take you?”

She shakes her head. “No Sohee’s on his way.” She continues. “I just wanted to help you take your head off of things.”

“This is the first time you’ve ever actually done something good for me.” You speak gratefully.

“Mm mm girl this is for me, you sitting around here sad really messes up the mood. And the smell, girl, take a shower.” She covers her nose.

“Wow, thanks.” You sit back against your headboard to begin contemplating again why you were even friends with her.

“I’m kidding y/n, you know I love you. And I really hate seeing you like this, It breaks my heart.”

“I’m sorry I’m trying to shake this feeling.”

“Just come out with us tonight, please. If you’re not feeling it you can leave no questions asked.” She moves closer to you and cuffs your hands into hers. The look she gives you makes it hard to say no. Not that you’d say no anyways, you really could use a distraction.

“Fine.”

“You’ll come?”

“Yes, I’ll come. But I'm driving myself. I don’t need to see you and sohee making out the whole ride.”

Just as promised you showed up to the event and yet again your best friend was nowhere to be found. You didn’t even bother to look for her, you just stood with your arms crossed staring at the crowd in front of you and thinking about how long it had been since you were in a place like this.

The music still needed some getting used to but you weren’t as uptight about it as you once were. You also notice that there is something different, you can't quite pin your finger on it but you definitely notice it. Maybe it’s just the vibe that’s off, you usually came to these things for Eusneok so now that he wasn’t here it felt kinda weird.

Or it could have been that they painted the walls a different color. But it’s most likely the fact that the boy that you’re looking for can’t be found. Even though you told yourself and your best friend that you don’t wanna see him yet, you can’t help but look around occasionally to see if you find a familiar face.

But you never do, no matter how many times you look or in what direction. He’s not there.

“Looking for someone?” a voice says behind you and your heart drops immediately, You turn around with wide eyes but quickly release your breath when you see that it’s not the person you thought it was.

“Just my best friend.” You answer him although you're not really in the mood to speak to speak to anyone at the moment.

“Did I scare you? I didn’t mean to.” The unnamed man continues

“Oh no you’re fine.”

You are still talking to the man but someone behind him catches your eye and distracts you from the conversation. You watch them for a little and the longer you watch the more you’re sure that it’s definitely the guitar player that you’ve been looking for all night.

Not another second goes by before you’re cutting the man off to push past the crowd and make your way to Eunseok. He doesn’t say anything when he sees you so you decide to speak first.

“Can we talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” He says bluntly.

“I have a lot to say.” You state but you don’t get the chance to get anything else out because he walks away from you and you’re forced to run after him just so you can at least explain yourself.

“Eunseok.” You shout, and that’s when he finally stops

“I like you Y/n, and I can’t talk to you when I know about you and him. I don’t wanna be just friends.”

“And I like you too, when I’m with him I’m thinking about you. I’m always thinking about you. I just can never stop thinking about you.”

“Were you thinking about me when you kissed him?” He asks

“I was.” You answer honestly

“and you still did it.”

“It was wrong to try and go between the both of you, I know. but I honestly thought you did this with everyone. how was i supposed to know how you felt?” you say in a raspy voice trying to stop yourself from crying.

“how did you feel?” He questions

“I felt confused. I never expected to like you as much as I do, and I never thought you’d like me back in the same way.”

you stop and watch him before you say something else

“Please forgive me, eunseok I’m sorry I really am. I don’t know how many times I can say that.”

you continue to watch him even as he walks closer to you and wraps his arms around you for you to rest your head on his chest. “I missed you.” cutting you off from apologizing anymore.

“I missed you too.”

“And also do you really like cookies and cream Ice cream?” he asks suddenly

“No, I hate it.” you laugh still burying your head into his chest.

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