#Billie eilish is cracking up just as hard | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thatfreshi · 8 months

Text

We, are going to be okay - Astarion x Reader

TW - self-harm

I don't write angst often but this concept just hit me too hard not to try and execute. Astarion tries taking others' perception of him into his own hands, and it comes with a cost.

Recommended Song: What Was I Made For? - Billie Eilish

For as long as you and Astarion have lived together, he starts every day the same. Then again, the both of you are creatures of habit, and you usually wake up soon after he does. Your lover can be found in front of the vanity, trimming away at whatever isn't perfect. He'll take scissors to dead ends, cut his cuticles, occasionally pluck eyebrows if they happen to be out of line. He does this every. Single. Morning.

At this point you're used to waking up to the sound of blades running through hair, a slight hum from Astarion as he focuses on all the details of his perfect appearance. Sometimes he doesn't even notice that you've woken up. Despite not being able to see his reflection, he's quite precise. And you have never once questioned this ritual of his.

You then are awoken by a cry of pain, a most unusual noise at dawn.

"Darling?"

You ask groggily, wondering if perhaps he cut a nail back too far. You wipe the wave of sleep from your eyes, trying to focus over at the vanity.

Red.

Red down his face. Suddenly you're soberly awake, and you stumble out of bed to see what he's done now.

"It's alright my love, just a knick."

Shaking voice, he wipes the blood off his face, and it just pours more. A slash clean across his cheek.

"That is absolutely not a knick!"

You grab a nearby rag and start applying pressure to the cut.

"How in the nine hells did you manage to do this?"

He pauses before answering, and then simply shrugs. You notice he grabs something off the vanity table, quick enough you don't see what.

"Who knows, perhaps we have a poltergeist?"

While Astarion is usually a fantastic liar, he has slowly lost the skill around you. You get suspicious, as he's still shaking from the wound. Gazing at the table, you notice everything is where he leaves it, in it's nice tidy place. Scissors back in their hiding place.

"Astarion, my love, what are you hiding from me?"

He says nothing, averting his gaze.

"Darling, please, tell me."

You take his hands in yours, bloody rag set aside. He still refuses to make eye contact. Instead, he wriggles his hands out of yours and goes to grab something out of his boot. A dagger. He tosses it on the floor. It's so slick in crimson that some red specks fall on the hardwood floor. Suddenly he chokes up, unable to speak as you keep staring at his dagger.

"Oh my love, my precious one."

You also find yourself at a loss for words, as your throat closes and the tears form at your eyes. You look back up at him. He seems ashamed, embarrassed, frightened by the blade on the floor.

"Why?"

Your voice cracks, almost unable to get the single word out into the air. You retrace your steps back to his hands, squeezing them tight, as if he'll evaporate in your grasp.

"I... I don't know. I just sat down and all of a sudden, there was all this rage, all this sorrow. I can't even see myself and everyone just decides everything they need to know about me based on something I'll never be able to comprehend. A barmaid assuming I'll flirt to get a free drink, a stranger whispering to a confidant whilst eyeing me up and down. This body, it's only ever been a facade, a trap to pull people in, a tainted memory of Cazador's reign. And I thought about upkeeping it once again, and I just-"

He is cut off by another sob. You have no idea what to say. You had no idea he was struggling like this, that he felt so judged.

"It's okay darling, it's okay."

There's nothing. You are filled by the void. You've heard the stories, Astarion going through hell and back. You've been awoken by the nightmares, you've had the long talks about his boundaries, but you never thought he would ever hurt himself. Somehow that twists your heart worse than any stories of vampire lords and monster hunters. But right now, it's not about you pitying him. He needs you.

You wipe at your eyes once more and go to check on his wound. You silently thank the fact that he's as meticulous about sharpening his weapons as he is about everything else. As you dab at the wound again, he tries to speak. You pause, to try and let the words come out. He grabs onto your forearm, holding on as if you're going to disappear.

"Do you think it'll scar?"

You shake your head immediately.

"No, it won't. I'll get whatever healer we have to, I'll pay whoever we need to."

A vampire bite, a cruel poem, he didn't need one more reminder of the past.

"I'm sorry."

You hold his head in your hands, wiping away at the mist falling down his face.

"It's okay. You'll be okay. We, are going to be okay."

He gives you a pain-ridden smile, something unsure resting on his lips, but he trusts you. He trusts that you're there for all of it, the drunken nights in town, the flirtatious glances, the moments where he forgets he's home. He reciprocates your affirmation.

"Okay."

Somehow you feel a little bit better, that you're here for him. It's going to be a lifetime of ups and downs, but you'd only want to share them with him, and he's grateful. The good, the bad, and the ugly, that's what they all say. And you'll be there for all three.

#astarion #angst #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion

504 notes · View notes

okkotsuus · 9 months

Note

hello! i’d like to request a very sad gojo angst, based on billie eilish’s song “what was i made for?” like reader could be having a self doubt moment??? if she’s good enough for satoru (you can do the same thing you did as to that one gojo angst you did! where gojo was healing from geto’s death) thank you ! ^__^

it’s not what he’s made for (satoru g.) !

features: satoru gojo

contents: crying. implied death and injury. grief. basic jjk triggers. feeling useless. feeling not enough. feeling ashamed. failing to protect people. perceived judgment. heartbreak. hiding things from partners. hurt with comfort for once. angst. 1k words.

notes: idk how i feel about this, so lmk if it's not what you want and i can try it again :)

you can’t help but notice the way satoru gojo stiffens the second he sees raw emotion being expressed. it’s something you find out before you even begin dating him. you can practically feel the discomfort radiating off of him when he sees another sorcerer cry at their partner’s death.

it was at that moment you vowed to yourself to never cry in front of him. but that was a while ago, and you were no longer in a shallow friendship with him: you were in love.

but you couldn’t shake that fear that if you ever showed vulnerability to him, he would regard you with that same disgust. it was irrational, you knew that, but it still lingered in the back of your mind.

even now, as you feel your heart actively cracking in your chest as yet another sorcerer is slain under your care, you just choke down the tears until satoru leaves the room. the inside of your bottom lip is bitten raw from how many times you’ve clamped your mouth shut to ward off sobs of agony.

with a cursed technique like yours, every mission comes with a lot of survivor’s guilt. protector’s promise: a cursed technique that grants you a stats and cursed energy boost based on the strength difference between you and your allies. even more so when your allies are weaker than the opponent. you also get a boost from non-sorcerers being in the immediate area

alone, you are a low-grade one. but with a group weaker than you, it skyrockets to high-grade one or even to special grade. as such, you are often paired up with sorcerers fresh out of training, or even those still in it.

the higher-ups treat you as a way to weed out weak sorcerers, all while boosting your own powers and giving your obscenely hard missions. because you also receive a boost if your allies are injured or killed. it’s one of the most heart-breaking things a sorcerer can experience; to have a partner die. and you lose at least one nearly every mission.

with no outlet in satoru, you find yourself sobbing alone or with shoko. she knows how satoru is, just as well as you, having been his classmate and friend for ten years. that’s why you should’ve expected this.

when she picks up the phone, you speak immediately. “shoko, i’m sad again, don’t tell my boyfriend… it’s not what he’s made for.” you hear shuffling on the other line and protests from her before a familiar voice rings in your ear. “y/n, it is what i’m made for. now, come home, we need to talk.” then, the line clicks.

you feel your heart break, he doesn’t think you trust him. he’s mad. he’s upset. he’s disgusted. the thoughts spiral as fat tears fall down your cheeks, opening the door.

there stands satoru, arms crossed and his lips pursed. the blindfold he usually wore was hung loosely around his neck, forcing you to look straight into his baby blues. the second your eyes meet his, your facade crumbles.

with a choked sob, you fall onto your knees, crumbling like sand. but you never hit the ground, strong arms slip under your arms and around your back. the side of your face pressed against his jujutsu-uniform jacket. his other arm slips under your knees as he picks you up as if you were the most fragile thing in the world, kicking the door closed.

satoru sits on the couch, your legs draped over his lap as he holds your so tenderly. a part of you feels guilty and stupid for thinking that he would ever be disgusted with you. you had never seen satoru gojo handle anyone with this much care, touch feather-light with the strength of love.

“why haven’t you told me you felt this way, do you not trust me..?” his words come out in a whisper, voice shaking ever so slightly. at that moment, you feel like the worst person in the world for making him think that. your hands cup his face as you look towards him with your teary eyes, desperately shaking your head.

“satoru, no, i trust you so much, more than anyone-”

“then why?”

your words catch in your throat, shame burning and pooling in your gut as you decide whether or not to tell him that it was because of some silly face he made years ago. worry surges again before being dissipated by his forehead pressing against yours.

a deep breath in, then you speak. “i didn’t want you to think i was weak…” in that instant you see his face soften, likely connecting the dots himself.

he’s gentle as he presses your face into the crook of his neck, arms winding around your back. his words come out faintly against your ear, breath lightly tickling your skin. “i’m sorry i made you feel that way, you’re not weak. you’re strong, much stronger than me in this regard.” he feels you smile against his skin and he chuckles, rocking side to side with you in his arms as if nothing else in this world mattered more.

you can’t help but feel like a fool for ever thinking that satoru gojo would look upon you with disgust for anything: especially not for some tears. not when he looks at you like you’re the world when you do any little thing. not when he whispers such sweet nothings to you at any opportunity. not when he holds you so desperately close when there is any sort of chance.

you can’t help but be forced to realize the strength in which satoru gojo loves. the love that is exclusive to you and you alone.

okkotsuus 23

#jjk #jjk x reader #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen angst #satoru gojo #satoru gojo x reader #gojo #gojo x reader #gojo angst #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru angst #satoru #satoru x reader #satoru angst #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo

426 notes · View notes

zzoguri · 4 months

Text

the perfect pair ➵ masterlist

esports player!kim sunwoo x esports player!reader

being a woman in the esports league is hard, but dealing with cocky kim sunwoo is unmatched. with the valorant champions tour about to commence, you two are forced to team up to retrieve the trophy. what will be tested—team morale or your patience around sunwoo?

general genre/warnings ➵ enemies to lovers, afab reader (they/them pronouns), slow burn, slight angst, crack, fake relationships (you two pretend to be friends) sexual tension, smut aka porn with plot (just know sunwoo whines), esports team au specifically during valorant champions tour, misogynistic & sexist remarks and behaviors, drinking, pet names, bets are made, a lot of gamer lingo, one bed trope™, also probably wrong format and flow of vct but who gaf!

word count ➵ currently 10.5k words, expected to be 20-40k (sorry i cant help it + vct is pretty long)

playlist ➵ yuck by charli xcx // stop talking by day6 // constant repeat by charli xcx // happier than ever by billie eilish // take a hint by victoria justice & elizabeth gillies // jealous by nick jonas // useless by omar apollo // somebody else by the 1975 // and july by dean fy. heize // talk by beabadoobee // teeth by 5sos // motive by ariana grande ft. doja cat // i wanna be your slave by måneskin // cologne by beabadoobee // a little death by the neighbourhood // the perfect pair by beabadoobee // babydoll by dominic fike // bet u wanna by sabrina carpenter// not in the same way by 5sos // just friends by keshi // sugar by men i trust // disaster by conan grey // shouldn’t couldn’t wouldn’t by niki // it’s you by zayn // die for you by the weeknd ft. ariana grande // flash forward by le sserafim // plot twist by niki

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @vernyangel @mosviqu @tbzhub @stealanity @wooluv09 @deobi0412 @untilsunset @hiefisch @blue-rainydays @maessseongs @wonuroyal @sunkitti

a/n ➵ i made this masterlist post because i dont think tumblr will be able to handle all the parts i need to pump out :’) my headcanon of sunwoo being a shit gamer will forever live, but i’ll make an exception for this story <3 major shoutout to @shegotthewoobies for guiding me throughout the process <3 lots of love always to my val duo for life! do reblog and leave feedback!

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist

guides

➵ the guide: “welcome to valorant.”

your official guide to “the perfect pair” universe, from gaming lingo all the way to vct timeline

➵ the players: “wáchale güey, my crew is coming through.”

your official guide to the main characters of “the perfect pair” universe

official parts

➵ one: “ew, is that sunwoo over there? 저리 꺼져.”

➵ two: “okay kids, we’ve got company. pretend you all get along.”

➵ three: “sunwoo, we are the perfect pair.”

extras/drabbles

number and names of chapters are subject to change!

#deoboyznet #kflixnet #bjnet #k-labels #works of moni #kim sunwoo #the boyz #the boyz x reader #kim sunwoo x reader #kim sunwoo angst #kim sunwoo fluff #kim sunwoo smut #the boyz imagines #fic: the perfect pair

233 notes · View notes

achy-boo · 4 months

Text

Hydro Dragon's Private Love

summary: There are ways to make a relationship work. One of them is communication. However a certain judge may or may not forget this rule of relationship but when he realizes his mistake, he will make his beautiful lover feel loved by him again in private.

Ship: Neuvillette x GN!Reader

Word count: 942 words

Warning: Angst to Fluff, miscommunication(Neuvilette), mentions of insecurities(Reader), making up(Reader +Neuvilette), tooth rotting fluff at the end

Recommend listen: Lovely by Billie Eilish ft Khaild + All I Ever Need by Austin Mahone

Being a lover to the chief justice in Fontaine has its ups and downs.

You alway ask yourself ‘is it worth dating Neuvillette?’. In some cases yes and no. Due to him being the chief justice in Fontaine, public appearance is a must for someone like him which means.. He is more unapproachable and aloof towards others thus making said man seem cold like snezhnaya itself. He is more friendly and gentle towards the melusines which you ended up unofficially adopting as your daughters. Today, you have a hard time dealing with the times where Neuvillette’s job gets in the way. You make plans with Neuvillette. It seems fine until his job calls him for another case. It is constant yet you just hold in your feelings which can be a bad thing in any relationship.

You wanted to speak your mind to Neuvillette, your hydro dragon but you are afraid to be seen as clingy or childish thus making you insecure with your abilities in the relationship. Neuvillette is not on the right either. Neuvillette never communicates with you about his daily life and his problems and the same goes to you. Neuvillette as a chief justice of Fontaine is a demanding and stressful times but he just..forgets to check up on you every day to see if you had eaten/drink anything or any stories that you want to tell him. Neuvillette did not mean to hurt you, he loves you daily. You love him to death! You never want anyone else but him! You want to be his rock..his star but it hurts. It has hurt you so much to think that you, in your eyes, are not worth Neuvillette’s love and time. You do not like your eyes, the way you dress, your personality, everything about you..are your flaws that you wanted to change. Change for him. But is it worth changing everything about you for him? Is it worth..feeling like you need to change for him to make him love you?

The days with no comfort or love from each other is daunting, yes. You want to cuddle Neuvillette while Neuvillette just wants the day to end so he can cuddle up to you all day plus he wants to feel your warmth against his body as he talks about the day. He was expecting a sight of your warm beautiful smiling face, waiting for him with that adorable dance you always do when you see him come home. Buy why..why does his heart ache when he sees you without your smile? Without that bright aura you once had? What is going on? More importantly, what did he unknowingly do? “Ma cherie, why are you shedding these beautiful tears of yours?” Neuvillette asks in a gentle voice, cupping your cheek and making you look at him. Seeing your tear stained face which is filled with sadness hurts him but hearing your voice, shaking as if you were just previously crying makes the hydro dragon want to cry as well. “Neuvi..do you love me?” You ask him with a cracking voice. “Tell me what I should change about myself for you to love me.”

‘Why did you ask me that?’ Neuvillette thought to himself that question. He always thinks that you are beautiful but he wanted to know where this comes from. As if you read his mind, you spoke up. “You have not been there for me. I..always wonder if you do not find me beautiful. Am I beautiful Neuvillette?” Oh, so that explains it. Neuvillette..did not know about this thus he is pretty dense but that does not mean that he is not attentive. But he knows that he is not perfect and he has a bit of a hard time comforting you however he wants to say what is on his mind rent free. “Ma cherie,” He spoke after a moment of tense silence. “You are beautiful. Your eyes are beautiful. You always light up my day with your cheerful personality. You are patient with me even though I had a hard time understanding humans. Nothing about you is worth changing for me. Why would I want you to change for me when I already accepted you?” You began to tear up at each compliment from Neuvillette. “In my eyes, you and your flaws are all I ever need. I am so sorry for not making time for you. It was never my intention. We should have talked about things beforehand but..wipe those tears..and smile for me. If you are sad, then I will be sad.” You sniffed a bit before wiping your tears away. “I am sorry too, my love. I just..do not want to bother you but seeing you..hearing that I do not have change for you. I am glad.”

Then you smile at Neuvillette, the same smile that he grew to love. “Oh [name]..come here.” Neuvillette whispered before leaning down to place a soft yet slow kiss on your lips. Neuvillette’s kisses are slow yet passionate, just like how you remember. The day of your first kiss with him still has that spark in them. You wrap your arms around his neck as you kiss him back, feeling tears of happiness flowing down your cheeks. What a beautiful ending.

Communication is one of the keys in the relationship. Without communication, there is no love and when there is no love then there is no relationship. If the relationship did not have communication then the love has died. Make sure to have that key as it will be worth it.

Taglists @areislol @ryuryuryuyurboat @mhiieee @dailypenpen @rrxaiky @kalims @husky-studies @asoulsreverie @dxmoness @cupids-chamber @ainescribe @oveloof @sennachi @captain-liminal @wonderlandteaparty @yumeko2sevilla @yukii0nna @zeina-is-bored @sakka-kyuu @abyssthing198 @purpl3bo1 @the-weirdos-mind @anxious-twisted-vampire @yoghurtsan @thenomadicphoenix @mccnstruck @yuan4i @snobwaffles @starglitterz @asmodeusdarling @lorelane @sweetlyvibe

#genshin neuvillette #neuvillette #neuvillette x you #neuvilette x reader #neuvillette x y/n #neuvillette x reader angst #neuvillette x reader fluff #genshin impact #˚ʚ♡ɞ˚~ rosey writes ~ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚#ཐིཋྀ ~ Rosey’s Theater ~ ཐིཋྀ #˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Theater is starting its play~#𓏲𝄢 ~ Genshin Impact

164 notes · View notes

wwilsonbarness · 8 months

Text

don't tell my boyfriend, it's not what he's made for

pairings: sam wilson x reader

summary: you try hide your bad days from Sam but he knows you too well. (Based on What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish.)

warnings: depression, mention of bad relationship with parents, angst, fluff, sam being the best boyfriend. I think that's it?

word count: 1559

a/n: my first Sam fic YAY!

Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)

I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.

masterlist

It’s been 3 days since you last saw Sam, not because he was on a mission or fighting a giant purple-thumb looking alien but because you couldn’t bring yourself to let him see you the way you are right now.

Things had been tough since you graduated college, you had your degree, you’d done everything your parents had asked of you, but you’d never really done anything that you wanted. Your parents didn’t seem to care what you did now, you’d gotten your degree, you’d moved to the city, you’d got away. They’d “done their job” they told you, but what were you meant to do now.

That’s what has been on your mind the last few months and all the stress has finally caught up with you. You weren’t leaving the house, you were hardly eating, you hadn’t seen your friends in weeks. Then there was Sam, you’d been pretending to be okay around him, and it was killing you. You couldn’t do it anymore so you’d been avoiding him, first not going to his apartment, then cancelling plans, and now avoiding his text messages. It only made you feel worse but you couldn’t let him see you this way. He’d probably break up with me.

You had bags under your eyes from the 2 hours of sleep you were getting each night, your eyes were red and irritated by the countless tears that had fallen from them. You hadn’t showered since you last saw Sam and that was only because he surprised you with a picnic in the park.

You’d tried to enjoy that day but all you wanted was to lay in bed and cry, to forget about everything else. But more than anything you wanted Sam, wanted him to hold you, to tell you everything would work out, but that couldn’t happen. You couldn’t have him realise what a mess you were, you couldn’t risk him leaving you.

So that’s how you ended up here, curled up into a ball in the dark on your sofa, crying quietly into your blanket and ignoring the feeling of a slight buzz from your phone beside you. You didn’t know who it was and quite frankly at this point you didn’t care. It had been like this since you woke up, you have no idea how long it’s been, and you had no intention of finding out. That would make you feel worse, knowing you’d wasted another day. You had no intention of moving at all, and that didn’t change when you heard a knock at your door. Just leave it, they’ll go away soon. But they didn’t, they kept knocking and knocking, until Sam’s voice came through the hard wood. His warm and gentle voice being the only thing breaking your almost comatose state.

“Y/N? I know you’re in there, please I just need to see that you are okay. Please?” You felt your heart break as his voice cracked with his last word.

You freeze at first, not knowing what to do. If you didn’t answer you were 90% sure he would kick your door down. So you did the only thing you could do and walked slowly towards the door, cracking it open slightly, not even removing the chain.

His head fly’s up from the spot he was staring at on the ground when he hears your door creak open.

“Hi Sam.”

“Y/N,” He goes to push the door open only to be met with the resistance of the chain. “Can you open the door properly? Please?”

You don’t really want to let him into your depressive bubble but at the same time you wanted him, his warmth against your skin, the smell of his cologne that always made you feel safe. So you nod slightly and remove the chain.

He immediately steps in and pulls you towards him. Your head finds its usual spot against his chest and his warmth seeps into you which instantly makes you feel a little bit lighter.

“Thank god.” Sam sighs in relief as he wraps his arms around you, bringing his left hand up to the back of your head to cup it slightly. “I thought something had happened to you when you didn’t answer your phone all day, I was so worried about you baby.”

All day? You had no clue that much time had passed, and now you were angry at yourself for worrying Sam, he doesn’t deserve all this. He deserves someone better.

You start to feel your eyes burning as more tears threaten their escape. “I’m sorry Sammy.”

“Hey, none of that, okay? You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Sam had kind of guessed what was happening, sure he mostly had experience working with Vets with PTSD, but he definitely knew the tell tale signs of depression. So when you started to pull away, and started acting not quite like yourself he had made sure to clear his schedule as much as he could to be there for you.

“I.. I don’t really know.”

“That’s okay baby. Can I stay with you for a bit?”

You shake your head against his chest and start to pull away from him as it hits you how you look, how your apartment looks. Panic starts to overtake every other emotion already running though you. “Oh my god. The mess and I haven’t even- I look so gross and I didn’t-“

Sam cuts you off before you can spiral more. “Hey, take a breath. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, nothing is okay anymore.” He guides you to the sofa gently and sits beside you, slightly turning himself in your direction.

“Try and breathe for me, okay? In and out. Copy me.” You try to listen and copy his breathing. “That’s it, good girl. You're doing such a good job baby.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“What do you mean?” He replies, with a hint of confusion.

You shake your head before continuing. “No, I don’t want to burden you Sam. You can leave if you want to, I’d understand.” You were so sure he’d leave, there was no way he could want to stay with you now. Right? Deep down you knew your brain was lying to you but you didn’t have it in you to fight what it was so easily telling you.

“Baby,” He looks at you with pure concern and love in his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, you can tell me what’s wrong, you can tell me anything.”

You look down and start to play with your sleeves before you answer him. “It’s not what you’re made for, you don’t deserve to have to pick up all the pieces everytime I fall apart. You deserve someone who’s happy, and I…” You pause to try and figure out how to say what you are feeling. “I think I forgot how to be happy.” It comes out as an almost whisper, in fear of it chasing him away.

Sam’s heart breaks hearing how you are feeling, he’s never felt this much love for someone or something before and wants nothing more than for you to be okay. He needs you to know how much you mean to him.

“Y/N, look at me?” You shakily bring your eyes back up to him. “That’s exactly what I was made for, you’re everything to me and I want to help you in any way that I can. Who was there when I beat myself up for Karli’s death? You. Who picked me back up again when I worked myself too hard? You did. So please, let me help you. Let me in. I will be here to pick up every little piece of you for as long as you will have me.”

The tears had managed to find an escape route now, and were freely rolling down your cheeks. You knew Sam loved you, he’d told you every chance he got and you hated that your brain could convince you otherwise.

“I love you Sam.” He brings his lips to your forehead and places a gentle kiss.

“And I love you too, so much, and whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen, okay?”

“Okay..” You weren’t ready to talk yet, you just wanted him. “Could you just hold me for now?”

“Of course, anything you want.”

He lays back on the sofa and brings you into his lap. Your head finds its place in his chest again, seeking his warmth. Things were silent for a few moments, each of you soaking up the feeling of being close with one another, until your stomach rumbling broke the silence.

“Baby?” he asks gently but concerned.

“Hmm?” You know where this is going but you try to play innocent.

“Have you eaten anything today?” You shake your head in embarrassment that you hadn’t managed to do that.

“Want me to order something in?” You nod against him. “The usual?”

“‘Mhmm. Can you get some of the-“

“Chocolate dumplings.” You say together which makes you both laugh, your first real laugh in a while and it feels nice.

“How could I not?” Sam says as he playfully rolls his eyes. “But until there’s a knock at the door I’m not letting go of you.” He squeezes you extra tight to show you he’s not kidding.

#wwilsonbarness #marvel #sam wilson #sam wilson x y/n #sam wilson fanfic #sam wilson fanfiction #sam wilson x you #sam wilson x reader #the falcon #captain america #sam wilson imagine #sam wilson fluff #sam wilson angst #don't tell my boyfriend it's not what he's made for #sam wilson fic #samuel wilson #the falcon fic

143 notes · View notes

moonlightdreamzz · 9 months

Text

🎧 ➤ What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish

“What?” Jisung is frantic and his voice cracks as he speaks. He’s trying so hard to contain his emotions, but it’s obvious he’s incredibly hurt. His eyes refuse to stay still, his breathing is erratic, and the metaphoric sun that usually rested over his head when he was talking to you has turned into clouds.

You want to look at him longer, yet. your eyes can’t help but to linger towards yourself in the corner of the FaceTime call. The bags beneath your eyes are quite dark, and you try to find some light in your eyes, but there is none. No one, not even him can deny the fact that you are absolutely drained, both physically and mentally. He’s been pestering you for weeks now, all in attempt for you to tell him something, but truthfully you don’t know what’s going on either.

You’ve known Jisung since the both of you were sixteen years old, you started dating when you turned twenty, and now you’re twenty-one. On Fridays, he buys you dinner and every Sunday, he gives you a bouquet of roses. Every night, no matter how tired he is, he calls you to say goodnight. He tries. He's an incredible person, and you know that anyone would be lucky to be cared for by him, so why isn’t it enough anymore?

This feeling—you wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Just a few months ago were you so open and full of life. The best way you can describe it is…numb. And you’ve done every possible thing you could to feel, but you can’t.

“Whatever is going on, I can handle it. What I can’t handle is us not being together.”

Your heart pangs in your chest and sorrowful smile now rests on your face. You’ve only seen Jisung this emotional two times—the first being when he considered leaving Dream due to stress, the second being the day he told you he loved you for the first time, and now you have this to add to the list.

“It just doesn’t make sense to be together when I never see you, Jisung. When I need you, but can’t have you. I’d rather be alone.”

“Where is this coming from?! I love you, Y/N. I’ve been trying to be here for you in the best way I can. You know that.”

You have a million things you want to say, but all of it will hurt him, and you don’t want to hurt him more than you already have. You dwelled on this for so long, wondering if you’ll regret this once you get better, but you’re not better right now, so that doesn’t matter. Your finger gently hangs up the phone, turning it off. All of sudden, you feel an ache that explodes throughout your entire body. Your lips are quivering, and your tearducks release what feels like years of imprisoned tears down your cheek. You’re laughing and sobbing at the same time because of course—after months of being clogged and numb, it’s only right that Jisung is the one thing that can make you feel.

81 notes · View notes

teyums · 1 year

Text

Until We Meet Again. | Neteyam Oneshot

wc: 1.3k

a/n: apologizing in advance for the future tears shed, today was a gloomy day and i got inspired </3 play the song “listen before i go” by billie eilish for enhanced reading experience

contains: intense angst, feelings of guilt, grief, mention of unalive

summary: after neteyam protects you in the line of fire and takes a bullet for you, you desperately try and tend to his wounds. his fate is sealed, and now you and his family must deal with the aftermath of losing your loved one.

Your world had officially gone dark. Everything around you stilled; everything but the little time you had left with him. Neteyam had protected you from the line of fire on the ship, shoving you out of the way and into the water before jumping in after you. You heard the bullets ring out, not knowing they had made contact until you looked back to see him struggling to stay afloat in the water. You assisted Jake and Lo’ak in carrying him onto Three Brother’s Rock, making sure to cushion his head when he was lowered and trying to slow your breathing to no avail. You stared down at Neteyam’s bloodied body with sheer panic in your eyes and sat up on your knees, hovering your hands around aimlessly as you didn’t even know where to start. Neytiri’s wails were heart wrenching, holding onto his leg and pressing her forehead against it while she prayed to the great mother not to take her eldest son.

“Pressure, apply pressure!” Jake’s voice pierced through the ringing in your ears and brought you back to reality, forcefully grabbing your hands and pushing them over the bullet wound in your mate’s chest. You nodded frantically, tears welling in your eyes as you felt his blood seeping through the cracks of your fingers regardless of your attempts to stop it.

“It’s okay, bro. It’s okay, we got you,” The younger sully tried his hardest to reassure his older brother, Neteyam’s hand firmly grasping his bicep while Lo’ak nodded at him. Though his words sounded positive, he looked just as unconvinced as Jake did.

A choked grunt could be heard from Neteyam, crimson splattering onto his chin when he coughed. He shakily raised his hand to your face— a small, pained smile inching onto his lips at how hard you were trying to help him, knowing your efforts were futile but grateful to feel your immense love in his last moments. You leaned into his touch, wanting so badly to hold his hand but refusing to remove your hands from his wound. Hoping. Praying your attempts would save him. “My love, we will meet again.” He croaked.

“No, no, no,” You shut your eyes tightly, vigorously shaking your head back and forth. “Don’t you dare talk to me like I’m about to lose you. You’re gonna be fine, okay?” Your voice wavered while you tried your best to assure him. Something in your mind told you this wouldn’t turn out like you hoped, but you pushed the thought away.

“Tell me,” A tear rolled down his face and you felt his chest shuddering under your hands as he struggled to breathe, “Tell me you will visit me.” He forced out, his voice breaking in the middle of his sentence.

You bit your lip to stop it from quivering. “I can’t. Please don’t make me say it. I can’t lose you, Neteyam.” Tears rushed from your eyes and he used the energy he had left to wipe one away with his thumb. Even at a time like this, in his dying moments, he still felt the need to care for you.

“Say it, [Y/n]. Please, I need to hear you say it.” He hastily repeated himself in between short-winded breaths, as if he knew he was running out of time.

You hurriedly nodded your head, staring down at the love of your life starting to slip away from your grasp. “Yes, yes! I will visit you. Just, please, hold on a little longer. Help is coming, stay with me.” You pleaded, voice coming in and out due to your throat beginning to tighten. He blinked dazedly, his eyes threatening to roll back as he tried his hardest to stay awake. You felt his hand that was cupping your cheek slip away, your eyes flicking down to his now limp arm then back up to his face. “Neteyam,” You urged fearfully, watching his pupils dilate for the last time, then shrink when the life left his eyes.

It was quiet for a moment, then Neytiri’s desperate howl for her son split through the silence. Jake looked stunned, forcing his tears back as he pulled his wife into his arms, shushing her and stroking her hair in an effort to calm her down. Your lips parted and you stared down at your mate in disbelief, reluctantly pulling your hands away to see that the blood pouring from his wound had stopped. Your body trembled at the sight of red against your blue skin, instantly leaning forward to cup his expressionless face in your hands. A distressed, horrified scream involuntarily left your lips before you could hold it back, his head limply rolling from side to side while your shaky fingers tried to caress it.

“No, no, no. Please,” You begged to whatever spirits were listening, denial shrouding what was clear as day in front of you. You dropped down and pressed an ear to his chest, your eyes wide as you searched for a heartbeat that would never sound again. “Neteyam, Neteyam!” You shot back up and shook his shoulders in a desperate attempt to bring him back, anything to stop Eywa from taking him from you. His body lifelessly rocked back and forth from the force of your actions and you snapped your head around to look to Jake for help, ears falling flat. “Why isn’t he waking up? Do something!” You sobbed between broken gasps for air, Jake only shaking his head to tell you there was nothing else that could be done.

Lo’ak reached forward, grabbing you and hurriedly bringing your body back and into his as you continued to cry. “No!” You screeched and clawed at his grip, desperately trying to fight your way back over to his older brother. He locked his hold around you, his large frame easily keeping your back to his chest while you flailed around, refusing to accept what just transpired. “Lo’ak, let me go!” You choked out, kicking your legs in retaliation and helplessly pulling at his forearms in hopes he would release you. He wouldn’t. “Please…” You cried.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry...” He trembled as he held you in his arms, using all his strength to quiet the whimpers that were threatening to leave his mouth while aimlessly repeating himself.

You had insisted on coming along to help them save their friend, and in doing so, Neteyam died saving you. This was your fault. The blame was yours and the blood was on your hands to prove it.

You took a deep, stuttered breath, the adrenaline leaving your body along with the rest of your will to fight. You weeped in agony, your shrieks of anguish deafening as you sunk back against Lo’ak. He tried his best to comfort you, using one of his arms to hold you and the other folded over his mouth to stifle his approaching sobs. Your shoulders slumped, bloodied hands raising to clutch your cramping chest as you winced in pain. You physically felt your heart shatter inside your rib cage; the one person who had the power to piece it back together laid out in front of you, the rocks below him stained ruby.

You wished it had been you instead.

#neteyam angst #neteyam sully #avatar 2 #avatar way of water #avatar twow #neteyam avatar #neteyam x reader #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x you #neteyam #neteyam fic #neteyam oneshot #neteyam x na'vi!reader

224 notes · View notes

feelbokkie · 10 months

Text

Don’t Let Me Love You | Playlists

pairing: Felix x fem reader; Chan x fem reader

genre: smau, fake dating, crack, angst, fluff, non!idol au

warnings: Possible spoilers?? Or maybe just misdirection

summary: With the upcoming wedding of her cousin and her ex, Y/n is in desperate need of a date for the wedding that will show the happy couple that she moved on.

masterlist

The firsts two songs in Chan's playlists aren't going to show up because I had to download them from my iTunes BUT I will link them right here if you want to listen to them

무단횡단 (Jaywalking) by Sung Joon

Wake Up by Sung Joon

*There are some repeated songs between the playlists. Interpret that how you will*

DLMLU Series Playlist (Spotify Link)

DLMLU by Stray Kids

Can't Stop by Stray Kids (Seungmin, I.N)

Heartbreak by Christian Leave

Careful What You Wish For by Bad Omens

Quite Miss Home by James Arthur

Hug All Ur Friends by Cavetown

I Hate Myself for Loving You by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

Not Falling Apart by Maroon 5

Sorry, I Love You by Stray Kids

Silent Cry by Stray Kids

The Kids Aren't Alright by Fall Out Boy

Look After You by The Fray

Catching Feelings by Justin Bieber

Lover of Mine by 5 Seconds of Summer

Can't Take My Eyes off You by Frankie Valli

Temporary Bliss by The Cab

Why Won't You Love Me by 5 Seconds of Summer

Lonely Hearts by 5 Seconds of Summer

Lie to Me by 5 Seconds of Summer

This is Gospel by Panic! At the Disco

Cuz I Love You by Lizzo

Paper Houses by Niall Horan

If I Could Fly by One Direction

Monet Issues by Chase Petra

Not in the Same Way by 5 Seconds of Summer

July by Noah Cyrus

A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant to Be by Jess Benko

To Be So Lonely by Harry Styles

Truly Madly Deeply by One Direction

Y/n's Playlist (Spotify Link)

Can't Take My Eyes off You by Frankie Valli

Everybody Hurts by Avril Lavigne

To Build A Home by The Cinematic Orchestra

Superficial Love by Ruth B.

Why Won't You Love Me by 5 Seconds of Summer

Pleaser by Wallows

Stay by Post Malone

The Harold Song by Kesha

Mr. Brightside by The Killers

i love you by Billie Eilish

Unloveable by The Smiths

All I Want by Kodaline

Therapy by All Time Low

Please Never Fall in Love Again by Ollie MN

Leave Your Lover by Sam Smith

You Belong With Me (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

Falling Out of Love With You by Rome Hero Foxes

Hard to Love by ONE OK ROCK

Still into You by Paramore

Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood

Please Don't Leave Me by P!nk

In Luv With U by Finn

Hopelessly Devoted To You by Olivia Newton-John

Schizophrenic Playboy by The Crabnerries

Die In Your Arms by Justin Bieber

I Loved You by DAY6

Cough Syrup (Glee Cast Version) by Glee Cast

Temporary Bliss by The Cab

Fuck You by CeeLo Green

Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer

Felix's Playlist (Spotify Link)

Deep end by Stray Kids (Felix)

Please by Chelsea Cutler, Jeremy Zucker

In Too Deep by Why Don't We

Sunflower by Rex Orange County

I Can't Make You Love Me by Dave Thomas Junior

Therapy by All Time Low

Mr. Loverman by Rick Montgomery

Fergalicious by Fergie, will.i.am

Sweet Creature by Harry Styles

Somewhere Only We Know by Keane

Dirty Little Secret by The All-American Rejects

Gives You Hell by The All-American Rejects

fOoL fOr YoU by ZAYN

All I Wanted by Paramore

I Hear a Symphony by Cody Fry

Heartbreak by Christian Leave

Complicated by Avril Lavigne

It's U by Cavetown

Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars

Yellow by Coldplay

Pushin' Me Away by Jonas Brothers

Die In Your Arms by Justin Bieber

I Need Somebody by DAY6

She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5

Can't Help Falling in Love by Christian Leave

She Is the Sunlight by Trading Yesterday

I Don't Love You by My Chemical Romance

Temporary Bliss by The Cab

Can't Stop by Stray Kids (Seungmin, I.N)

Pray (I'll Be Your Man) by BTOB

Chan's Playlist (Spotify Link)

무단횡단 (Jaywalking) by Sung Joon

Wake Up by Sung Joon

i hate to admit by Stray Kids (Bang Chan)

Can't Take My Eyes off You by Frankie Valli

And I Love Her by Kurt Cobain

Bad Diary Days by Pedro The Lion

Love is Dead by Tokio Hotel

Mr. Brightside by The Killers

She Doesn't Love Me by Billy Cobb

I'm a Mess by Ed Sheeran

Breakeven by The Script

Your Song by Elton John

I Hate That You're Happy by Tiny Little Houses

I Miss You by blink-182

Can't Have You by Jonas Brothers

Love Unfinished by Christian Leave

The Truth Untold by BTS, Steve Aoki

DON'T FORGET by iKON

Don't Wanna Cry by SEVENTEEN

It's Definitely You by V, JIN

Missing You by BTOB

Ex by Stray Kids

i love you more than you will ever know by Never Shout Never

The One That Got Away - Acoustic Version by Katy Perry

I'm Lost Without You by blink-182

Lover, Please Stay by Nothing But Thieves

hell is where i dreamt of u and woke up alone by blackbear

i'm in love with u, sorry by j'san

DLMLU by Stray Kids

When I Was Your Man by BTOB

—

Buy me a coffee?

58 notes · View notes

https-cyber-slxt · 1 year

Text

It's Not Your Fault...

Ethan Winters x Fem!Reader

A/N: 'm not crying, YOU ARE 😭 (not proofread)

The rain, it didn't go away, it overstayed it's welcome. But you were fine with that, you liked the rain, the sound of the little droplets of water crashing down on your roof, the way you could just stay in bed and admire it for hours, it made you feel safe, it made you feel like you belonged, and for that you were grateful the rain existed.

The moon, it didn't go away, it overstayed its welcome, but Ethan was fine with that. He liked the moon. He liked the way it shined at night, making sure it was the brightest in the night sky. He loved how he could stare at the moon out on the porch for hours, admiring its beauty.

But one day, the rain stopped appearing, making you worried. Was it tired of your presence? No it couldn't have been.. You sit on your dry outside porch, usually it would be wet from the rain, but the rain wasn't here today, or the next, you had a deep feeling that something was very, very wrong.

One day, the moon came... but it was dull, lifeless. It made Ethan worried, was it dying? No, no, it couldn't have been, it was the prettiest moon he has seen, so why was it feeling down? Ethan pondered on the porch, thinking of ideas on why his pretty little moon was so sorrow.

And then an idea came into your mind, maybe something was bothering your precious rain. Yes, yes! That could be it, so perhaps when it's able to come over for another time, you'll ask what's wrong!

And then an idea came into Ethan's mind, maybe once the moon comes around again, he'll offer it a gift. Yes, yes! He'll think long and hard about what beautiful gift he'll give to his favorite moon.

It was a special night, both the moon and the rain were out, the moon flashing through the nightly clouds. You cozily sit on the couch, hot chocolate in hand and covered with a weighted blanket. You stare outside, the rain covering the porch with its water. Ethan walks into the living room, sitting next to you and getting under the covers, hugging his body with yours.

Ethan places your mug on to the coffee table in front of you. He gets up and sits on one knee in front of you, he pulls out a velvet red box from his pocket, a shocked look covers your face. “(Name), will you marry me?”

You were so shocked at the sudden proposal that you completely forgot about the question you wanted to ask to your rain, but luckily for Ethan, his misson was complete, he made the moon shine again...

After a year, you stand at the back of the aisle, your wedding dress swaying with the wind, and your fathers arm around yours. You walk down the aisle, hearing your and Ethan's family members cry, you chuckle and shake your head.

After a few more steps you finally reach the front, letting go of your fathers arm and facing Ethan. You grab Ethan's hand and he grabs yours, you both look at the priest, confirming for him to start.

“Dear Ethan Winters, do you take (Name) as your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?”

“I do” says Ethan with a pleasant smile on his face.

“And dear (Name) (Last-Name), o you take Ethan Winters as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?”

“I do” You spoke, your voice cracking as tears nearly fall down your cheeks.

“I may now pronounce you, husband and wife, you may kiss the bride” the priest ended his sentence.

Without hesitation you pull Ethan in, his warm and soft lips against yours. Everyone in the crowd cheered on happily, Mia probably being the loudest.

But after that, it went blank, how? why? And out of nowhere, you find yourself in an unknown location. You call out for your husband and friend. “Ethan??? Mia!?” Nothing, it was silent. You closed your eyes again, only to be met with a sight you wish you have never thought about.

Ethan, cold, dead and lying in your arms, along with your child, Rose. “Hey! Hey! Ethan no! Don't... Please dont leave me again...” you sob again, and again, until it wasn't tears anymore, but your own blood. You knew, you knew it wasn't your fault, but still, all that guilt was on your back.

“Mom?” that voice, you look behind you, seeing Rose standing in distress. “Mom! Hey, hey it's okay, don't cry, please don't cry, you know I hate it when you cry” Rose tries cheering you up, but you completely ignore her as you stare at Ethan's lifeless body.

“Mom? “Mom?” “MOM!” you gasp as you sit up in your bed, your body covered in sweat and hands shaking, you look beside you to see a worried Rose.

“Rose? Wha- what happened?” you ask while grabbing her hand. “M- mom you were making that mold stuff again, is everything alright?” you look around for Ethan, but then look back at your daughter. “Yes Rose, everything is fine”

Oh yeah, you forgot, it's been 16 years since the rain came...

#fem reader #resident evil 8 #resident evil village #ethan winters #ethan winters x reader #rose winters #rosemary winters #Spotify

71 notes · View notes

mebiselfandi · 1 year

Text

Title: Don’t Leave Me

Summary: Neymar tells Luis and Leo he’s leaving Barcelona

Pairings: Lionel Messi/Neymar, Luis Suarez/Neymar, Lionel Messi/Luis Suarez, MSN

Tags: pain, misery, hurt/no comfort

A/N: GUYS PLEASE READ THIS FIRST BEFORE YOU CONTINUE!! Please if you’re not feeling okay don’t read this. It’s entirely too depressing imo. But please don’t read this on my account especially with everything that’s been happening between these two. Secondly I’m actually laughing cause I said wow this is so hard to write considering I’ve never had to deal with a best friend leaving me behind and the universe really said bet. Oh yeah for the vibes this song is how Leo feels

Leo and Luis watched with curiosity as Neymar and Rafa had a hushed argument all throughout their afternoon practice. Rafa seemingly trying to convince Neymar of something. Neymar eventually seemed to have enough and sulked off to their room as soon as practice was over. Leo and Luis were quick to go up to Rafa to find out what was wrong with Neymar.

“Hey! Rafa, wait!” Luis shouted as they jogged to catch up with him. “What’s wrong with Ney?”

Rafa just gave them both a guilt ridden look, “it’s not for me to say. You’ll have to ask him yourselves.” And before either of them could ask him to elaborate on the cryptic nature of his response he’d already dashed off to talk to Ivan.

They both turned to look at each other, silently agreeing take Rafa’s advice and then set off after Neymar.

Leo knocked lightly on Rafa and Neymar’s door. They heard some shuffling inside then Neymar came and unlocked the door, letting them in and shutting it behind them. He walked back to his bed. Sitting down on it and looking at the two men.

“Ney, are you okay?” Luis asked first when they were now stood in front of him. Both him and Leo could feel their worry for the younger man reaching a boiling point, threatening to spill over.

“I…I have to tell you guys something,” he whispered with a shaky voice looking slightly pale. Leo raised his eyebrows expectantly. Neymar looked up at his two friends in front of him. He wasn’t sure how to tell them especially after everything they’d been through the last few years. Gathering his nerves, he spit it out before he could stop himself, “I’m leaving.”

“What are you talking about?” Luis breathed out but he already knew exactly what Neymar meant.

“I-I’m leaving Barça,” he couldn’t help the crack that entered his voice.

“Oh,” Leo muttered.

Neymar looked down and wiped weakly at a stray tear, “I’m sorry, I tried to tell you guys earlier but I didn’t know how and- and you deserved to know. I’m so sorry.” Neymar whispered. He finally looked back up and he wished he never did. Luis was looking at him with a face painted with utter betrayal and Leo? Oh Leo. Neymar prayed he’d never see the look on his face again. Entirely blank and devoid of emotion, Neymar could see him retreating into himself the same way he did when he would pretend he wasn’t sad or upset. The thought that he had caused him that pain made a fresh batch of unshed tears spring to his eyes.

“When are you going to tell the team?” Leo asked with that blank look in his eyes.

Neymar could only open and close his mouth wordlessly. Unsure how he’d tell them it was only them who didn’t know. The two people who should have known first.

Luis’ face dawned with realization as he understood what Neymar wouldn’t say but before he could say anything, there was a loud knock on the door then Rafa poked his head in.

“Ney? Coach is looking for you,” he announced apologetically then retreated, shutting the door behind him.

They all looked at each other until finally Leo began to head towards the door.

“Wait, Leo-,” but before he could say whatever he planned to, Luis quickly stepped in front of him, shielding Leo from his view.

“Don’t, Ney. Just don’t. Not now,” Luis bit out through clamped teeth, still holding that betrayed look in his eyes.

“But I-.”

“Please,” Luis begged.

Seeing the slight tremble in his friends lips, Neymar could only nod his head in quiet agreement to what he asked. Luis shot Neymar one more pained look then wrapped an arm around Leo’s shoulders, leading them both out of the room. Neymar sat back once the door had shut, leaving him completely alone in the room. He wiped his face with his shirt then mentally told himself to pull it together before heading out to see what the Coach needed.

————————————————

Leo and Luis had made sure to avoid Neymar the rest of the day. Whether on purpose or by accident, Neymar didn’t know but he certainly didn’t expect to see them standing outside his door that night.

“Can we come in?” Leo asked. The question more directed towards Rafa who sat on his bed scrolling through his phone.

He looked at the three of them then muttered out a quiet, “no, yeah, it’s fine,” as he got up to leave. When he reached Neymar he squeezed his hand lightly, “I’ll be in Ivan’s room,” he whispered reassuringly. He sent him one final smile then disappeared out the door, closing it behind him.

Neymar went and sat on his bed and watched as Leo and Luis sat opposite him on Rafa’s. They all sat silently for a few seconds before finally Luis spoke.

“You can’t leave.”

“If you came to convince me to stay, it won’t work. I’ve already made up my mind,” Neymar said firmly. He didn’t want to fight with his friends but he’d made his decision and it wasn’t changing.

“But you said you weren’t going to leave.”

“And I’ve decided otherwise,” Neymar argued.

“You’ve decided or someone else?” Luis snapped.

“Barca is your home Ney. You belong here…with us,” Leo redirected as he could see an argument already brewing, “and you’ve been playing so well. We just won against Paris and that was because of you. You brought us back when we had practically lost. Now you want to go there?”

Neymar could feel the tears prickle the back of his eyes

“When did you decide?” Luis questioned.

“June.”

“What?” Leo asked quietly. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “you’ve known since June?”

“That was almost 3 weeks ago and you’re only telling us now?” Luis finished for him in a hurt tone.

“I-,” Neymar started.

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” Luis growled out lowly. He couldn’t help how rough he sounded but he was mad. However he softened when he saw Neymar flinch at his tone, “why, Ney? Why France? Ney, England is better. City, that kind of football is better, it’s more suited to you. But France?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbled quietly.

Luis leaned forward and took Neymar’s face in his hands. Neymar’s own glassy eyes dimmed under Luis’ own sorrow leaden gaze. He searched and searched for some kind of answer. Any answer that would begin to explain why Neymar was leaving them. But it was to no avail. One of the tears he was trying so desperately to keep at bay slid down his face. A silent plea for the younger man to see reason. “Ney you won’t be happy there,” he whispered, pulling at straws that might make Neymar change his mind before it was too late.

“I could be,” he mumbled back sadly. Luis’ fingers gripped almost painfully into Neymar’s cold skin. Why couldn’t he understand?

“But you won’t be,” he forced out through gritted teeth. Another tear fell, chasing the other.

Leo reached out and gently grabbed onto Luis’ hands, removing them from where they were digging bruises into Neymar’s skin. Luis simply swiped angrily as his eyes and looked away.

Leo watched Neymar for a few seconds. Maybe he’d missed it. Maybe he’d made a mistake and completely missed Neymar’s feelings. Gone months and months without seeing that Neymar no longer wanted to be here. He knew Neymar by heart so why couldn’t he have seen this coming. He should have been able to. Maybe something was wrong with his heart. “Are you not happy here?” He finally asked quietly.

Neymar looked away from Leo. His fingers picked and pulled at the loose threads of the bedspread, “I don’t know.”

“Well, will you be happy there?”

“I-I don’t know…”

Leo’s frustration was reaching a breaking point, “you can’t leave m-,” he began to say forcefully. He paused for a second to calm down. Leo took a deep breath and closed his eyes then opened them, stormy and conflicted, “us. You can’t leave us for ‘I don’t know’ Ney.”

“Ney what do we have to do to convince you to stay?” Luis asked.

“I do want to stay…but I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I…” Neymar was speechless, “my dad-”

“Forget about him. You don’t have to listen to him. You can decide yourself.” Leo was well aware of the influence he had over Ney but for once he wished Ney would listen to them. “What do you want?” Leo picked up one of Neymar’s hands and tried to catch his gaze, “You want to win the Ballon d’Or? I’ll get you the Ballon d’Or.”

Neymar could feel his heart racing at Leo’s words as he met his eyes with shock. The words slipped out themselves before he could stop them, “I want to win with you,” he looked at Luis, “both of you.”

Luis leaned forward again and grabbed onto Neymar’s other hand, “Ney, if you want to win everything, stay here with us. We’ll make sure you win. In Paris…it’s not guaranteed.”

Neymar could feel his resolve weakening. He wanted to be with Luis and Leo but it was already too late, “It will be different once I get there. I could change the club, the league. They’ve promised me a lot…”

Leo squeezed his hand tightly, “and we’re promising you everything.”

He felt overwhelmed under the looks of desperation in his friends eyes. He didn’t want to leave them. It was one of the last things he wanted. He could barely even imagine a life without their constant presence. Why was he even leaving? He wasn’t sure why he’d agreed to leave. The tears flowed fast and hot down his face, “I can’t,” he finally sobbed out, “I want to but I can’t.”

Luis and Leo pulled him between the two of them and they both held him as he cried. Loud and broken with the arms of the people he cared about most wrapped around him. Minutes felt like hours as the burden of his imminent absence weighed down heavier and heavier around them with an oppressive air. His cries eventually stifled to quiet quivers and short intakes of breath.

“We just want you to be happy Ney,” Luis said as he rubbed Neymar’s back soothingly.

“I know,” he whimpered hoarsely into his shoulder.

Leo looked at Luis and had a silent conversation with him. Understanding what Leo was asking, Luis got up and took Neymar’s head in his hands once more. He rubbed softly at the dried tear tracks on his cheeks. Neymar closed his eyes and tried to focus on the feel of his slightly calloused fingers gliding gently over his skin.

“Just think about it,” he urged. He leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to Neymar’s forehead then smoothed his hair back and left Leo and Neymar alone. They sat in silence as Leo tried to think of what to say.

“Is it true?” Leo asked. Neymar simply looked at him confusedly until finally in the most quiet of voices Leo asked, “are you leaving because of me?” Leo never listened to what the media had to say. However over the last few months, ever since Neymar’s transfer rumors had started, he’d heard what they said. How Neymar was drowning in Leo’s shadow. He’d obviously believed none of it but he’d also believed Neymar wasn’t leaving. Now he wasn’t sure about anything. “It’s okay you can tell me if it’s me…I won’t be mad at you or anything. I just…I need to know.”

Neymar turned in Leo’s arms to look at him in disbelief. “I can’t believe you’d think that’s true,” he whispered quietly.

“I don’t know what to think anymore Ney,” Leo whispered back. His eyes were starting to burn with the heat of sadness, “you said you’d stay.” He cracked out, a tear escaping.

“I never meant to hurt you Leo,” Neymar murmured as he tried not to look away from the hopeless expression on Leo’s face.

“But you are.”

“I’ll still come back and visit. I’m not leaving forever.”

“Then why does it feel like this is goodbye.”

Neymar stayed silent as he watched the tears leave Leo’s eyes. He placed his hands gently on either side of his face and Leo nuzzled into his palms as he cradled his head. He wiped away at Leo’s tears but they only seemed to double in strength until Leo let out a choked sob. Neymar was quick to wrap Leo up in his arms. But where Leo usually found the warmth of a thousand suns, he was met with endless winter. Neymar’s embrace lacked all its usual heat and Leo felt so cold. He pushed and clawed at Neymar’s chest. Maybe if he dug deep enough he’d find that familiar feel of his soul.

“Please don’t leave me Ney,” Leo begged through gut wrenching sobs, “I can’t lose you.” He cried into his neck as he wrapped his arms tighter around Neymar’s waist.

Neymar could only cry silently as he watched Leo cry. Leo who was always so strong even when he had every right to not be. And it was his fault. After he’d silently promised to always be by Leo’s side, he was leaving him behind. He was the one causing all this pain and he had no way to fix it. “I’m so so sorry,” he finally wept around the lump in his throat.

“Please…please Ney,” Leo begged as he closed his eyes, rubbing his cheek against Neymar’s and mixing the tears he’d shed with his. He pressed their foreheads together, his lips brushing against Neymar’s and whispered, “just tell me you’ll stay,” so quietly, Neymar would have thought Leo stayed silent had he not felt him breathe the words into his lungs.

“Leo…” Neymar trailed off brokenly. He could feel the pads of Leo’s fingers dig into his ribs.

“…please,” he whimpered tightening the hold on Neymar’s body.

The tears rolled freely down Neymar’s face as he felt Leo’s lip tremble against his with the weight of his decision. There was no way Neymar could let Leo down. How could he deny him this one request? So he lied. He lied over and over again until he almost believed it. Until he wished it was true.

And when Neymar woke up the next morning, Leo was gone.

For @satrangee-ray and @dykemar

I hope I broke your heart’s sufficiently.

#originally this was supposed to be about Leo leaving Ney but I changed my mind #I know I said no angst but yeah #I’m so very sorry for this y’all #and it’s one of my longer fics too😔😔#luis suarez #neymar #neymar jr #leo messi #lionel messi #neymessi #msn #msn fic #Spotify #meb writes

60 notes · View notes

marilynthornhilllover · 1 year

Text

Gwendoline christie x fem! Fan reader

Name: don't be shy little one pt3"

Warning: hurt, angst, discomfort, long distance relationship, alittle heartbreak with a plot wist

°●°●°●°●°●°●●°●°●°●°●●°●°●°○°●°●°○°●°●°●°●°●

Gwendoline was going to the Wednesday fyc pannel tomorrow so she had to be in Los Angeles. It was a inside event ; meaning only cast members and executives will attend. The media will only get lucky if they get to see a couple pictures and videos.

Since you and gwen got together you both have been extremely busy. You got your dream job as an intern for a company in Los Angeles and she had some stuff to do back in London. You practically haven't seen each other in almost a year. But your always texting and FaceTimeing each other.

☆

You made sure to be at the airport early to reserve your girlfriend when she exited immigration. You brought her flowers and a 'i miss you' teddy bear. You were smiling so hard your face could fall off. You were wearing black sweat pants with her name at the sides and a Grey hoodie that had your initials on the back Y/n & G.

After you saw her plane land you were practically a little puppy waiting for his master to come home. In the corner of your eyes you could see a few paparazzi lurking around and you knew fully well someone had tipped them off about Gwen's arrival. They were obviously working with 'the Hollywood fix' one of the best paparazzi companies in L.A.

But there were other celebrities on the same plane as gwen that were coming for Coachella.

When you saw her tall figure emerge from check out you ran up to her. You jumped onto her. You wrapped your arms around her neck as she held your thighs on her sides carefully. You didn't care if people were looking at you especially those paparazzi, because when your with her your entire world stops and it's just you 2.

You quickly left pecks all over her face, tears forming in your eyes. You jumped down from her and held her close. Like it was the last time. Maybe it was. She pulled you back alittle so she could see your face. Her pout was enough to make more tears come out.

" I know darling, I'm here now" she cooed hugging you tighter. She gently wiped your tears and kissed you softly. The kiss made up for all those months without eachother. But you needed more. But for right now a single kiss took care of your thirst. "I missed you" you whispered again her stomach. She kisses your forehead given to her height and rubbed your back.

" I'll make up for it, I promise" she whispered back at you, her voice cracking at promise. You knew she meant it but her work betrayed her. You wanted to trust her. Trust her words that she'd never leave you. But you knew she was a celebrity. Sometimes she barely had time for herself so why you?.

" sorry to interfere ladies but Ms. Christie I have your suitcases" a young man said. You immediately parted from gwen and allowed her to get her suitcases. You sniffed as you ran your hands through your hair, gazing at the ground. You mind was far. You didn't even see gwen looking at you with a worried expression. But she decided to leave the questions and chat for later.

☆

After you both got home she unpacked a couple clothes for the days she would be staying. And that's when it hit you. She was only staying for a week. 1 fucking week after 8 months of not seeing you. Did she not have a heart?did she not love you? Did she not care? She must have saw the way you zoned out. " you ok love? You look that the world gaved you all its burdens" she said almost to her self.

She had a very sad facial expression, as she took out her toiletries and place them in the bathroom. When she came back out she realized that you didn't hear her. You were in a deep trance. " my love" she whispered in a aching tone. That was all it took to pull you out. Your eyes immediately met her worried and sad ones. You immediately pulled the best poker face you possibly can, but she knows you too well.

" darling c'mere" she tapped the bed telling you to come sit. You slowly walked up to her,no energy and not happy at all. You refused to look at her. You both sat there quietly for a while, gwen fully drinking in your expression to try to see what your feeling. She rested a hand on your thigh giving it a slight squeeze, her spare hand came up to cup your cheek.

You couldn't help but melt into her touch. " baby whats wrong" her voice dripping with care and tenderness. Your eyes met her gaze as they begin to gloss. " we haven't seen eachother in 8 months and your leaving in 1 week" you whispered as you begin to sob. Gwendoline hated when you cried. It broke her heart into millions of pieces. Her heart ached as your sobs became more erratic and your breathing intensed.

" it's ok my love, we'll figure something out, I promise" she whispered stroking your hair, kissing your forehead, rubbing your back saying sweet nothings into your ear. Anything to make you feel better. "I think that's the problem" you spoke firmly, detaching your self from her loving grip. She looked at you with confusion. But quickly understood what you meant.

Part of you knew deep down she couldn't find time for you. And soon you'd both be back at square 1. Just a young girl crushing over her favorite actress. You didn't want that and neither did she. You both loved each other deeply. It was time for gwendoline to get ready for her red carpet event and interview.

She gaved your head a soft kiss. Holding the back of your neck so your ear is pressed up against her chest. You heard her heart beat loud as ever.

"It beats for you,not my job" was her words. She got ready and left for the event.

" I'll love you forever my darling. I won't forget you. You'll be in my heart until the day I die. Soon I'll be back, and then we can go anywhere in the world and get married and start a family. I promise"

" but we won't see eachother again" you said, your voice breaking, heart aching. You knew once gwendoline got on that plane. Things would be different. Both your lives would be different. She'll be busy and so will you. You'll go on vacation and see eachother but that's once in a blue moon.

She pulled you into a bone crushing hug. Her kiss to you was soft. Her tongue danced with yours. It was slowly, wanting to keep every moment special. Every moment where your tongues twisted and turned, was special.

" I love you y/n no matter what" were her last words to you before she went on the plane. You choked back tears as she waved to you, through the walk-in terminal.

Will this be the last time? Will she come back? You knew she would. Of course she would. But you promised yourself to wait for her. No matter how long she takes, you'll wait for your lover to return to you while she does the same.

Part 4 will be the final part :) hope I didn't make you cry ♡♡♡ :(

#gwendoline christie #fypシ゚viral #fanfic #larissa weems x female reader #love #cute #wednesday #gwendolineuniverse #larissa weems #hurtful #discomfort #long distance relationship #angst #Spotify

49 notes · View notes

jinx-on-mars-19xx · 8 months

Text

Falling For Each Other

Red Leather and Running Mouths x Danger's Bitch x Soda, Cigarettes, and Broken Glass x Broken Doll x Bitch Barbie Cooties and Golden Fountains x Fuzzy Gazes and Bruising Grips x Choking on Truth x Wilde and Free x Hated Together

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: dom Dom, sub Col, fighting, insults, drug use, drinking, hangovers, getting outed, MF hate, the f slur, boys being dumb, teasing, edging, blow jobs, anilingus, falling, blood, sexual accidents, boys being dumbasses, nervous Dom, d/s undertones, breaking shit 🚬 rating: explicit

There it was, the truth was staring them in the face one morning when they woke up. A million alerts on their phones and a hell of a hangover from the night before. They'd gone out and partied, needing to cheer each other up and maybe one too many beers had them making out in the back of a darkened club. They hadn't meant for it to happen and the moment Dom saw it his heart dropped- a picture (or ten) of the punk slowly pushing Col's hand into his undone pants. Fuck.

What worried him most wasn't just the fact that they were exposed so boldly, he knew he could calm his pet down about that but Megan of course used it to her advantage, breaking her promise. 'I knew from the beginning but he lied so well and I loved him so much. I just hope he doesn't hurt Dom like he did me.' The back of his tongue tasted sour and the longer his boyfriend didn't speak the faster his heart beat.

They'd been in a tenuous place for a week, the song releasing had brought them closer but Kells was still so worried to hurt him. He knew the man might keep his feelings quiet just to further protect him but he'd beat it out of him if he had to. "At least we look good, yeah?" He hummed softly, his cock twitching at the sight. There was nothing incredibly explicit, it wasn't like his dreaded Billboard picture with Billie Eilish, Colson had slipped his hand into his pants and behind his shirt so nothing was showing. But their expressions… If he didn't know any better he'd say he almost looked in love with the brat.

"I don't like 'ow you look like the bloody top. Why'd I let you 'old me like tha'?" He huffed softly, annoyed that everyone would think he was the bitch.

Finally there was a deep breath and a sigh. "You were shitfaced. Besides, no one would believe this anyway." His tone wasn't as teasing as his words were and Dom swallowed a whimper as the man tossed his phone down hard and pushed himself out of bed. It automatically felt colder without him and he tried not to shiver. Maybe he just felt colder.

He watched as the rapper grabbed a joint and a lighter and made his way to the bathroom. When the door shut between them it felt final but he wouldn't allow that. Not again. Not now that they could finally be honest. He growled low and picked up a cigarette, lighting it and taking a deep drag before opening his phone again. He fought himself to make a long post about them, he knew better than to act too soon. The door opened just a crack and something small flew at him and smacked him in the chest. He jumped but whispered his thanks to the closing door when he found a prescription painkiller. Yeah, that should take the edge off.

He took it gratefully and swallowed half the water in the glass his boyfriend had left for him the night before and as he scrolled through his texts the back of his mind was screaming to fix it. Colson hadn't let him say anything against Megan before and while she was keeping her word he dealt with it but now? Of course she used what should be a moment between them to further herself. He was just thankful a few of the comments were seeing the truth. Some people were asking if she knew, why had she tried to steal the man. Some were even calling her a homewrecker. If they only knew.

Gavin had tried calling him, Tom's name was in all of his alerts, any way he could be reached, Adam just sent a string of what appeared to be obscene emojis in context with a thumbs up at the end. His friends were special. "Turn it off." His lover shouted from the bathroom and he huffed softly. He sent one text out before doing what was asked, he had to at least let Tom know he was alright. He'd deal with everyone else.

"Wha' makes ya fink you can tell me wha' to do?" He asked, rubbing his temple and taking another drag. His eyes felt fuzzy and his mouth dry but at least the oxy was soothing the pounding in his head. He had to admit the pharmacy his sub kept was helpful in some situations. "Would you get your arse out 'ere? You know I don't like talking like-"

"Like what? You don't like giving me a hint of fucking privacy?" The bastard interrupted and his brow raised even though his eyes stayed closed.

"Careful luv." His voice warned, there was an edge that promised he was dancing on Dom's nerves. He knew whatever their problem is wasn't about his fucking lack of privacy. Well, it might be about them not getting any but Kells didn't want space from him. If anything he craved to be closer. Always.

"Fuck careful. You wanna be careful now? After you fucking outed me?" Even hidden behind a wall Dom could feel the moment Col tried to swallow his words but they were already out. He could hear the man trying to rush through pissing to get back to him. He still couldn't help the anger that built in his chest. How dare Kells blame it all on him?! Before he could stop himself he was gripping his empty water glass and throwing it across the room to smash against the wall keeping them separated. The way the stream paused before resuming even harder would have made the boy laugh but he was far too upset.

"You wanted to crawl under the bloody table if memory serves, at least I kept you from looking like a bitch!" He snapped, hissing when his angry movements made his cigarette ash on his belly. He was trying to swipe it off as the door slammed open and his man stalked out to stare down at him. The cloud of pot smoke followed him but thankfully Colson flipped on the fan. They might be fighting but the man was always careful with Dom. Always.

"I still look-" He paused, finally catching himself before the wrong thing came out but it didn't matter. The implication was clear.

"Like a fag? Tha' wha' ya scared of luv cause let me fucking tell you. Let me let you in on a secret-"

"Don't-"

"Don't tell me 'don't'! You is one Colson. The great and badass Machine Gun Kelly renown for 'is pussy game is a great big bloody fruit. A bottom even. A sub. You begged me on ya knees since day fucking one! You me bitch Cols. Why is it so bad everyone fucking knows it?" Dom's voice was raising as he pushed himself out of bed and stood to face his lover. The moment he was exposed Colson paused, his gaze dropping to his half hard cock. He couldn't help it, he was always drawn like a moth to the flame.

"But… why? I don't like anyone else." He huffed softly, hip checking the doorframe. He was still upset but the fight was draining out of him. It always did when he saw Dom naked.

"Fine, maybe you pan or summat, I don't care. I don't fink most of your fans give a fuck. You know wha' I been seeing? Support Cols. Your true people sticking up for us. A lot of 'em are calling 'er a 'omewrecker. Saying 'ey called it from day one." The punk smirked, he honestly wondered how it took them as long as it did.

The way the rapper's face calmed and almost went sad hurt his heart. The man had been so careful of him for too long. "At least no one thinks you're queerbating now huh?" He tried to tease and Dom laughed but it was a soft sound. They were scared of the unknown and this made their whole futures that. Colson walked closer slowly until he finally reached him and dropped to his knees, wrapping himself around his dominant.

Dom sighed and put his cigarette out before he tangled his hands in his boyfriend's hair and pushed him against his thigh. "I got you. Always got you." He soothed, scratching his blunt nails through the messy blonde locks. He could feel him trying to kiss over his skin and his dick started to fill at the attention. His brat had talked back to him though. "No. Go work your aggression out first. You ain't taking it out on me." He snapped, yanking rough at the man's scalp.

Colson whined, nuzzling his stubbled cheek against his lover's cock, his lips teasing over his tight balls. "I can work it out just fine right here."

Dom's answer was to push him back hard with his foot and to leave the room with his phone in hand. He had to punish his pet somehow and he needed to check in with his friends. Kells was left whining on the floor, his cock hard and leaking against his thigh. He wasn't surprised exactly, he knew raising his voice would get him in trouble but Dom rarely edged. He hated it.

Thirty minutes later Kells was hanging from a bar in his gym, his muscles burning from overuse. He was drenched in sweat and feeling far better than he had. His Daddy always knew exactly what he needed. He made it to forty upside down sit ups before the boy wandered in as naked as he had been before. He walked around as the rapper kept going and kept an eye on him but he could feel himself being watched. "One-hundred." He lied and his lover giggled, shaking his head as he finally made his way closer. It was certainly an interesting angle but Dom was near his dick a lot.

"Don't get down." The punk purred, his fingers tracing designs in his sweat. He couldn't help but shiver though he tried to obey. When the kid wrapped his fist around his shaft he almost slid off but he tightened his hold and felt his blood fighting where to rush.

"Dizzy." He panted, licking his lips and trying to blink the sweat from his eyes. Everything was fuzzy but with Dom standing over him he blocked all the light. The rapper had to rely on scent and that was all his boyfriend. The heady musk of dried cum was still stuck to his skin. He never cleaned up the night before.

"Good." Dom purred, stroking his lover. If he stood on tiptoe he could suck him off but he didn't want to give him too much too soon and that might actually make him fall. "Ya know, we could turn 'is into a lovely dungeon." He hummed, looking around. He could still remember the sex room Col had in his old house but of course Megan hadn't allowed that. Bitch was more vanilla than his mum's baked goods and twice as dense.

Kells whimpered, trying to put his arms down to ease the strain in his legs but Dom pinched his fingers between his toes until he stopped. If this kept up long he knew he'd pass out but it certainly wouldn't be the first time. Dom would take care of him. "You're all red." He teased, staring down at Col's face and the rapper laughed.

An idea struck him, he knew he wasn't really allowed to make decisions or ask for things, especially when he hadn't been a good boy but he hoped his lover would allow him something. "Spread your legs?" He was drastically thankful for how long he was as the boy surprisingly did as he asked. He could feel Dom's confusion as his arms pushed between those plush perfect thighs. The punk squeaked when Kells pulled him up off the floor. The palm around his cock tightened almost too much but after a moment his Daddy seemed to get the point and he wrapped his legs around Col's ribs as tight as he could.

Colson couldn't breathe but for a moment he didn't need to, his palms groped rough at pale freckled globes and his tongue searched out Dom's sweet pink hole. The flavor was musky and heavy, sweat and old cum and whatever just made Dom, Dom. A soft whimper escaped him as he tried to bury his tongue deeper but the boy struck, curling his mouth around Col's cock and that was fucking it.

Dom realized a moment too soon that his act of need was a mistake but he couldn't do anything about it. The man's legs slipped from the bar and they went tumbling, thankfully his ankles protected the rapper's head but his dick speared deep in the boy's throat and he choked hard, pulling off and spluttering. "You good?" The man rasped, his voice muffled between soft cheeks and Dom nodded but he knew he couldn't see. Fuck what a mess, but Kells didn't care, his boy could destroy him and he'd still beg for more. "What do you need?" It was a gentle beg and a way to show he was handing control fully back to his dominant but for once Dom just giggled and shook his head.

Normally he'd be embarrassed after something like that, normally he'd need to prove he was top. Instead of doing any of that he turned around and hovered over his still pink lover. "Oof, you bite ya lip on the way down?" He hummed, tracing Col's mouth where it bled.

"Probably more than that." He sighed, smiling up at his boyfriend. He was sure he was a mess but he didn't care, not when Dom stared at him like he was.

"Mmm, you fink blood works as lube?" He teased, he was sure some of it was painting his ass but he'd been allowing his man inside him far too much lately. The brat might be forgetting his place. "Suppose tha's why you ain't meant to work out naked."

Colson laughed, he was sure Dom was right but they'd been doing a little more than working out. He still hoped they would do more. "Why'd you turn around?" He pouted, making the boy smile.

"Wanted to look at you." He shrugged, flicking his tongue over the crimson covering his lover's mouth. There was a phrase floating around in his head and it turned his stomach to sharp winged butterflies. No matter what people thought he wasn't exactly soft, he couldn't be, not with all he'd been through. Still though there was something about Colson that had him thinking pretty words and slow sex. "Let me make love to you?" He asked before he could lock the words down and he fully expected the bastard to laugh.

Instead Kells froze under him, his blue eyes blinking fast for a moment as if he had to process the sentence. It sure as shit wasn't something he ever thought he'd hear from the boy. He wanted to ask what the game was but with Dom's heavy gaze on him he didn't think there was one. "Like… how?" He whispered, suddenly everything felt soft and loud at the same time.

Dom grinned slowly, he could feel himself shaking but Colson was trembling too. "Like me cock in tha' tight lil ass of yours like every night. Jus'... Slower. I fink." He hummed. Honestly he was just as confused by what he wanted. It wasn't something he'd ever even asked a girl, he didn't know what the fuck it entailed.

"I've never-"

"I know. Me um- me neiver. Wanna figure it out? Wiv me?" He stumbled over his words, for the first time he wasn't completely sure of himself and he tried to cover it up by standing up and reaching a hand down for his man.

"Yeah? O-okay." Shit, they were both nervous but neither knew why. The air felt electric though and every breath felt like fire. "Take me to bed?"

Author's Note/Tags: @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @manicpixiedreamb0y @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 🖤

So this wasn't as rough as this fic normally is but I thought I'd let them get a little closer. I'm not even sure if these boys can make love but 😂 we'll all find out together ❤️‍🔥🚬

17 notes · View notes

fritextramole · 1 month

Text

deep in quicksand

part 4 of a Nate Archibald playlist - best heard in order

tracklist and quotes under the cut

Dug My Heart ~ BORNS

I hope the cracks in the pavement, lead back to you, baby Back to you, baby

Boring 20s ~ Tamela D’Amico, Wolfgang Lohr, Ashley Slater

I was gonna strut my moves, work the schmooze Drink the booze, ignore the news, work my shoes Then it all went wrong

Latin Simone ~ Gorillaz

Give up if you wanna survive Get oh so alive in your life Everything falling out the sky on top of you

Seasons on Fire ~ Matt Berry

My seasons on fire Everything looks like wasteland

i’m not where you are ~ Marika Hackman

I'd rather be asleep than interact with me I don't get what you see 'Cause lately I've been trying to find The point in human contact

I Of The Storm ~ Of Monsters and Men

Until all you see is my ghost Empty vessel, crooked teeth

Standing At The Wall ~ The Pretty Reckless

But I am standin’ at the wall It is high and I am small All alone, there's no one to catch me whеn I fall

hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but i have it ~ Lana Del Rey

All of these debutantes Smiling for miles in pink dresses and high heels on white yachts But I'm not, baby, I'm not

Babe Ruth ~ COIN

You want some love But you need some space and time Oh baby, whatcha gonna do when the universe puts your hand in mine? Now that I'm busy I broke it all down

Hey Julie ~ Fountains Of Wayne

Trying to trip me up, trying to wear me down Julie, I swear, it's so hard to bear it And I'd never make it through without you around

Between My Teeth ~ Orla Gartland

I can't take the pressure of it, I can barely breathe

What Was I Made For? ~ Billie Eilish

Think I forgot how to be happy Somethin' I'm not, but somethin' I can be Somethin' I wait for Somethin' I'm made for

High By The Beach ~ Lana Del Rey

Don't need your money, money To get me what I want All I wanna do is get high by the beach

Got So High ~ The Pretty Reckless

If I wanted to fly, I should have gone up in a plane If I wanted to fly, I should have climbed up to the highest mountaintop

Over Those Hills ~ Hayley Williams

Over those hills, I bet you're somewhere dreaming I take my pills every night and in the morning When you wake up, ever wish I was beside you?

Cartwheel ~ Lucy Dacus

I thought back to many years ago A late-night promise on the telephone We'd build a house of twigs and vines Grow old together just to pass the time

Clay Pigeons ~ Michael Cera

Sing a song with a friend Change the shape that I'm in And get back in the game And start playin' again

#gg #ggplaylists #nate archibald #gossip girl #source: senamarais

3 notes · View notes

sunsetstarrogue · 24 days

Note

I totally understand about being busy ngl I wrote that comment half delirious (sleep deprived) and procrastinating my midterm paper lolllll. Why surround myself with pain and philosophy when I can hyperfixate on Chani and her doomed romance.

I came back to say that I'm so fascinated with your love for Jessica, I have this weird love/hate for her, it's honestly more love but something does kind of rub me the wrong way about how she kind of just re-joins the BG after everything, knowing how they view her daughter. I skimmed the books so I understand theres more, there's always more maybe Alia gave her blessing (I've been reading more Alia fics that kind of give her a more human nature, maybe in the Dune books she had a lot more omniscient perspective).

I'm so curious is you fic going to like bend canon? Like are the twins still coming? Is Chani still fated to die bringing the twins to earth?

On this trajectory I can't really see the twins poofing into existence, although who knows… There are moments of weakness, and even if they don't achieve a complete reconciliation there has to be something still there, it's just buried under a lot of pain and betrayal.

I do wonder if she wishes Paul would have died instead of becoming what he had become. But really when you think about it there wouldn't have been any other option. Even if the whole Atreides on Arrakis didn't happen then eventually Feyd would’ve come into power and would’ve pressed the extinction of the Fremen solely due to bloodlust and glory seeking. Maybe Chani would’ve had a few more years but really there was no other option for Paul when he stepped foot in the desert. Like I understand she can’t have a grasp on space politics being born on Arrakis but I do wonder if Chani has her own regrets. Paul kept confiding in her about his fears if he went south and she was like “just stay true” but in the face of seeing just horrific images and futures, how could you say true, i.e. duck your head in the sand. I wonder if she even knows Paul did everything (even marrying Irulan) he did to prevent her death.

I’m sorry if Im overwhelming you. I'm honestly just curious, there’s so many avenues to explore. I think despite her horror and disgust at what Paul becomes a part of her will always love him, and that's the struggle internally, she can’t reconcile what he’s going to become, but it also seems like no one is on her side. The people she fought so desperately hard with are turning their backs on her because she isn’t a believer. That must be incredibly isolating, and as strong as Chani is, she’s also a girl, about to become a single parent, she constantly has to control herself and her emotions in the face of no allies. I don't blame her if she cracks. Everything is escaping her like sand in her hands. I think in turn that might make her incredibly protective over Abiel. She feels a desperate maternal love to give him freedom and choice, whereas Paul might also love him but needs to use him in his plans, slot him in his place. Whether Paul feels confliction or despair I guess is up to you. (maybe even resentment hohoho, no longer Chani’s #1 man).

ALso i was in my feels, I made a mini playlist for the fic

Love it Dissipates - Mother Mother

Wiseman - Frank Ocean (Birth scene)

Ghost in the machine - sza

Frank ocean - godspeed ( haha ironic ik, but those moments of her and Abiel)

I bet on losing dogs - mitski (heavy on this)

Andromeda - weyes blood

Listen before i go - billie eilish

I love you - billie eillish (the mash up with what was i made for hits harder for the fic)

Good bye - billie eilish

Just for now - imogen heap

one more night - stars

Once more to see you - mitski (those moments of weakness)

Call of silence - hiroyuki sawano (her alone with Abiel seeing wondrous sights)

Thank you so much for this anon.

I have only read Dune and not the other books so my love for Lady Jessica is primarily based on the first Dune and the movies lol. In terms of me following canon; I’ll probably be diverting from it quite a bit.

Villeneuve really departed from canon by making Chani into a nonbeliever and then having her leave at the end. Which is great for me because now I can explore Chani and Paul's relationship. There are so many ways I can develop their relationship and I'm so excited to do so.

Great taste with your playlist ❤️

(I'm writing a bit for the next chapter but no guarantees it will be done anytime soon lol)

2 notes · View notes

shoutaswhore · 2 years

Text

TV - Shouta x gn!reader

contains: angst, a breakup (not with shouta), fwb type relationship (w/ shouta), mentions of heartbreak, mentions of virginity loss (shouta took readers v card), crying lots of crying, nicotine, vaping, old relationships.

wc: 1.8k

a/n: this is a totally self indulgent (would it be indulgent if its a sad thing?) piece. it's based off the song, TV by billie eilish.

You had gotten the message while at work. You couldn't even listen to the thoughts in your head that were telling you to keep yourself professional, you have to pretend it's not happening.

But it was impossible. You kept staring at the text the guy you had thought was your forever had texted you.

"I don't want to have to do it like this" it said. Then why are you doing it? You thought, over and over, those words spiraled through your mind.

"The door isn't closed." He kept saying, he promised that there would be a chance for a future.

Those words that were sent, saying that you were the cause of a horrible mental state, that he couldn't put himself through it anymore.

It broke you every single time you read it. Every word caused your heart to crack ever so slightly more than before. Until it was just a pile of dust in your chest.

You were unable to keep it together, you had to leave. Go anywhere but where you were. But you were stuck, stuck in this place where you had nothing to comfort you over this heartbreak.

-----

You got back to your dorm. Trying to stay away from anything that would even partly remind you of him. But it was impossible, your dorm room is filled with memories from the 9 months you spent together.

You look down at your bed and sigh, already feeling the tears forming in your eyes as you see the blanket he had gotten you for your 6th anniversary. And the matching plushies you have with him.

Even the small trinkets on your shelf, the things you had pinned on your wall and cork board. He is everywhere. You are unable to run from the past. Stuck in a cycle of looking anywhere and finding him and the memories of what was your everything.

Broken. You feel broken as you wake up the next morning. It doesn't feel real, was it a dream? You check your phone and then it all comes flooding back, your eyes are filled with tears. Unable to even read the words in front of you anymore.

The tears fell onto your phone, you were so out of it that you don't even remember dialing the number, you called him, over and over. Trying to get closure. But nothing came of it. He never once answered.

You try and keep your sobs quiet, running to the bathroom of your dorm room just so you can have some semblance of peace.

Turning the shower on so it would drown out your screams and sobs. You were always considerate of your roommates. But in this moment you couldn't think of anything else but the absolute devastation that was in your chest.

It's the worst pain you have ever felt, you think to yourself. How is this even possible. How could you let what was meant to be your forever break? All these questions kept going through your head. You know it was your fault. You won't deny it. Because it was your fault. And you have to be honest as to why you lost the person you thought was your forever and evermore.

You couldn't eat, how could you when he was mad at you? So you slept. day and night, as much as you could just so you wouldn't feel the heartbreak and overwhelming sadness.

------

It has been a few days since you got the message. It is still fresh, and every morning you wake up and see your phone its just cutting into the almost healed wound you have.

So you call someone. Someone you never thought you would talk to again. It's ringing, a few times more than you would like in your situation. But then he answers.

"I really don't want to talk right now, Shouta.." You speak softly into the phone, hoping he isn't able to hear the shakiness in your voice.

You had just been crying, hard. You had the TV on in the background, Survivor was playing. You had said to yourself that you had put it on because you liked the show, but you knew that wasn't true.

You watched it in this moment not because you liked it, no, you were watching it because you got to see other people suffering. Just like you were in this moment.

You didn't know who else to call. It was either stay alone in this broken state and unable to help yourself, or call your "Ex-Boyfriend."

He had never liked labels. Not even when he had you. So you were just his person, nothing more, nothing less. But you were fine with that. You didn't give two shits back then as long as you were waking up next to Shouta.

So you called him. Against your better judgement, you called the person who was always so cold towards you. He had never been able to explain his feelings to you, even after 5 years of being off and on. It was torture for you.

"Okay, kitten. That's okay." His soothing voice spoke through the phone. Your body was already filled to the brim with all these emotions, and him calling you that pet name that you haven't heard in so long made the dam break.

You are sobbing into the phone, begging him to come get you, telling him that you are so broken, that you fucked up. Because all of those things are true.

He is trying to calm you down over the phone but quickly realizes it's no use. He sighs and agrees to come get you.

You pack a bag quickly, unsure of what you need or don't need. Absolutely nothing feels real still. You are still hoping to wake up and see a message from him saying that he wants to try again.

And the words come flooding back, "Horrible mental state", "I don't want to have to do it like this", " The door is open for the future", "It was never enough" all these things came back like an explosion.

It was enough to bring you to your knees, you are on the floor sobbing, completely forgetting about the packing you had been doing a second earlier.

You are clutching your chest, right where your heart is. It feels like it's going to explode, you think, "This is it. This is how I die." because that is how bad this pain is.

Your don't know how long you have been on the floor, sobbing, screaming, clutching your broken heart. But you know it has been long enough for your throat to be raw and your sobs to be silent.

Your makeup is ruined, so much for your eyeliner being breakup proof, you joke. Saying you'll sue the company for false advertising. You try and poke fun at the situation, but it only makes you cry again.

You decide you should check your phone for a text from shouta. And sure enough, he says he's there. So you are grabbing your thing, earbuds, bag, phone.

Then you are off to try and get some semblance of comfort from the man who never showed you any sort of emotions. The only time he showed any sort of care towards you was when he was fucking you.

You get into his car, cursing yourself for letting yourself get back into his claws. But you don't even care right now. You just want to forget about how much pain you are in.

-----

His hands are on the wheel as he drives, he offers you a hit of his vape. And without hesitation you take it. You are way too stressed to say no to some nicotine.

The moment it hits your lungs you feel calmer, even with the tears in your waterline.

"He would have never let me vape..." You say in a hushed tone, "At least not if it had nicotine in it."

Shouta nods at your words, he doesn't know how to deal with your emotions, he never has. So you settle for him just listening and being there.

"Thank you.." You hand him back the vape, and he shakes his head.

"You need it more than I do right now, Sweet cheeks." He knows what he is doing with the names, but you don't stop him. You don't know if you want anything to happen, you aren't sure if anything is going to happen.

But what you sre sure of is, you have always come back to Shouta. He is the one who took your virginity, the one who showed you what sex was. He was your first for almost everything.

It's almost like he had trained you to always come back to him. Like a little puppy. You shooed that thought from your head quickly. Not wanting to think about the last time you two were together.

But your brain forces you to remember it. It all plays in your head, the night he said "nothing would happen" and you believed him. You had gotten into a fight with your boyfriend and needed someone to vent to.

You don't know why you went to him first, it's just always been your first reaction. To call Shouta when you need someone to comfort you.

—-----

The next thing you know you are waking up in Shouta's car. Apparently you had dozed off while he was driving. You still had the vape clutched in your hand, offering back to him with a sorry look.

"Thanks" He says in his usual tone, uncaring, unwavering. Just like he always has been. "What happened this time?" He prods at my still open wound.

"Shouta. I said I didn't want to talk about it." I'm stern, I really don't want to talk about it. Because then I'll start crying in front of him, and he never has known how to deal with me crying.

"Look, Y/N. I know you and I have our differences. And I know I've fucked up in the past." Finally he admits it. But that one sentence is never going to be enough for what he has done to you.

"And I know you have no right to forgive me. I can't even forgive myself for what I did to you. I wish I could take it back. I honest to god do, Y/N." He's lying, you think to yourself. He has to be. He just wants me for himself again.

But your heart doesn't know any better, your heart is broken and yearning for someone to pick up the pieces and to glue them back together. Because you know you can't do it all by yourself.

So you give in. Your brain is screaming at you to leave, to do anything but stay with the man who broke my heart over and over again.

You think to yourself, "I can pretend, just for the night. that this is real." And you do. You let him back in to put you back together.

Thank you so much for reading, if you liked it please reblog it and like!

#* ੈ✩‧₊˚ ʰᵉᵉᵈ ᵐʸ ʷᵃʳⁿⁱⁿᵍˢ #🍥.my writing #bnha shouta #angst #shouta x reader #shouta aizawa x gn!reader #aizawa angst #breakup angst #vent writing

30 notes · View notes

newbie-whumping · 2 years

Text

So something most of you probably don't know (and frankly, not your fault! I usually don't talk about myself on here) is that I really love Billie Eilish. Realized today that she released a new song and holy shit the mental PMV for this -

Anyway, as such, say hello to a whump songfic :)

Sometimes you look the same / just like you did before the accident

It's been years since Gaster died, years since they've all been finally, finally free of that man. So much has changed - Asriel can walk again, mostly without help. Kat is smiling again and purring as strong as she ever had. Ky is physical, and as ever, Brooke's best friend - and yet so much is the same. Looking over at her husband's sleeping face, she smiles. Sometimes, especially when they're asleep, it's just like when they were kids having sleepovers at Asgore's, huddled together in a cuddle puddle.

God, she loves him so much. She loves them both so much. She sits up, careful not to disturb either, and heads into the bathroom for her morning routine.

When you're staring into space, / it's hard to believe you don't remember it

She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she splashes water on her face and pauses for a moment, halfway to reaching a washcloth. Out of the three of them, she feels she looks the most different. She's grown her hair out, a personal act of healing, since she usually kept it short during the rebellion. She still has a scar across her cheekbone that strains to reach the bridge of her nose - a souvenir from a particularly annoying run-in with the Secret Police. There's lines marking her skin, testaments to her aging. Remarkable how fast that seems to happen for someone in their thirties.

Brooke shakes her head, her hand finishing the motion of grabbing the washcloth to dry her face off. She proceeds to use the toilet and then shower. She's been getting lost in the past a lot lately, thinking a lot about the rebellion, about things that could've been, could've changed. About Kat in the hospital, all but lifeless, struggling even with the hope Ky brought. About Asriel and his hobbies, the track meet he never got to attend because of the accident. She doesn't know if he remembers it that well. He never claims to.

Woke up in the ambulance; / you pieced it all together on the drive. / I know you don't remember calling me, / but I told you even then you look so pretty. / In a hospital bed, / I remember you said / you were scared, / and so was I

She sat in the chair next to his bed, more numb than she wished she was. He wasn't awake yet, and she just waited. It felt like hours, weeks, seconds, before he finally spoke.

"Hey B."

She glanced up, shifting to sit straighter. "Hey fluffy boy." She managed a weak smile, which he returned.

Silence prevailed for a while. "Your mom's doing okay," she finally said.

"I know. She came in earlier. She doesn't really remember how we crashed; people seem to think it was a drunk driver."

"Do you?"

He paused. "I don't really know what else it could've been," he responded. "Mom didn't just randomly lose control. Or have an episode. They usually don't happen when she drives, y'know?"

"Yeah." Brooke had a suspicion that was partly a product of Gaster's doing. As ever when it came to him, though, she had no proof. "At least you get to rock a hospital gown."

He cracked a smile. "Leading the fashion front this year."

"You totally could. You could rock anything." She smiled in return.

He laughed a bit. "You're biased 'cause you love me."

"Maybe so, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong."

"If you say so."

They fell into a comfortable silence. After a moment, she asked hesitantly, "Do you remember anything about it?"

He shook his head, wincing a bit. "No. I know it was bad, though. Couldn't even heal me with magic."

"Guess that rules out the upcoming track meet then, huh?" Brooke tried for a bigger smile. She knew he would be fine, he'd come back from worse. He came back from dying so many times; whatever injuries came from the crash, he'd get over them easily.

He looked away. There was a beat before he responded. "Might not do track next year."

"You'll be better by then," she shrugged.

Asriel sighed then. "No. I don't think I will."

"C'mon, Azzy. It's not like you to be pessimistic," she frowned.

"I'm not being pessimistic, Brooke. You know I'm not." He looked back at her, green eyes holding a world of exhaustion.

"I don't know that, actually." She felt anger starting to bubble up, brought from annoyance. "Cause it really sounds like you are."

"I'm really not. Doing track next year would be a miracle," Asriel persisted.

"I don't see how. You're gonna heal up in maybe three months tops, and I know you're gonna be itching to get back into it."

"Stop it," he said.

"Stop what? Trying to remind you you aren't hopeless?" Brooke's voice rose. "I'm not doing that, Azzy."

"Stop trying to act like everything is fine," he said, voice hardening.

"Everything is fine! Not now, but it's gonna be!"

"No it's not. Stop acting like it."

"I'm not gonna stop, Dreemurr! You're not acting yourself!" Heat and anger were seeping into her voice.

"I'm not going to be able to do track, Brooke! Not ever!" It was his turn for his voice to rise.

"One car crash isn't the end of the world; Jesus!"

"How am I supposed to do track when I'm paralyzed, Brooke?" he shouted.

She froze, the sudden silence deafening. "You're what?" she managed.

His anger still showed on his face, despite his voice returning to an inside level. "You didn't know?"

"I - no. No one..." It was like the anger was punched right out of her, replaced by shock.

"Well. Now you know." He looked away again.

Brooke tried finding something, anything to say. Finally, she managed, "I'm sorry."

He shrugged bitterly. "Sorry isn't gonna fix me."

"I know." She was quiet.

After several minutes, Asriel spoke again. "You know, I've lived through so much. Done so much, things I'm not proud of. Lived through so many timelines. But I think right now I'm something I haven't been since... Since Chara died, and that whole - fiasco." He finally looked back at her, and the vulnerability she saw there broke her heart right along with his next words. "I'm scared, Brooke."

She went to respond, to hold his hand, to offer reassurance. She never got the chance as a nurse entered, looking concerned. "Are you alright, Asriel? I heard shouting."

"Yeah. We're fine." His voice had returned to the tired tone from before.

The nurse took a look at the heart monitor, then at the clock on the wall. Addressing Brooke, it said, "Asriel needs to rest. It's getting late."

"Okay." She glanced at him. He had returned to looking at the wall. She got up. "See you tomorrow?"

"Sure." He tried to smile at her. She offered one back.

Brooke nodded thanks to the nurse as she left. She felt tears prick her eyes and fought them back.

In a standstill on the 5, / thought it was unusually early traffic; / usually I don't panic. I / just wanted to be on time. / When I saw the ambulances on the shoulder, / I didn't even think of pulling over. / I pieced it all together late that night

Brooke still remembers that conversation more vividly than she wishes she did. It was such a hard thing to accept. Especially when she'd realized that night that she'd seen the ambulances around the crash site on the way to visiting Kat.

Her mom had rocked her as she'd cried on the couch. They were sixteen at the time - she felt so childish for needing the reassurance, the comfort - but it was nice to be held after Toriel's call. Her mom knew how much Asriel means to her - they'd been dating, of course he meant so much to her.

And I know you don't remember calling me, / but I told you even then you look so pretty. / In a hospital bed, / I remember you said / you were scared, / and so was I

The worst part had been being the one to tell Kat. The small monster had been in love with Asriel since... Well, none of them are really sure. Brooke thinks it was when they were going through the Underground, Kat thinks it was when he regained his body, Asriel thinks it was sometime long before either of those. Brooke and Kat disagree with him on the basis of him getting time confused a lot where the Underground is concerned, aside from when she'd been there.

The look on Kat's face had been pure devestation. Brooke couldn't even hold her hand because of the restrictions the ward had, and that still hurts to this day. She'd had her own mother, but Kat couldn't even be comforted by her best friend. The best she could settle for was asking for updates, and she did, constantly.

Brooke dresses and pulls her hair into a ponytail to dry, heading for the kitchen. She casts a glance at the bed as she passes - Asriel and Kat are still asleep, with the latter snuggled up to the former, as always. Brooke smiles a bit and continues on so she can make breakfast.

What if it happened to you on a different day? On a bridge where there wasn't a rail in the way? Or a neighborhood street where the little kids play? Or the Angeles Crest in the snow or the rain? What if you weren't alone; there were kids in the car? What if you were remote, no one knows where you are? If you changed anything, would you not have survived? You're alive, you're alive, you're alive

She gets to work on some hash browns, choosing to make them from scratch instead of grabbing the bag from the freezer. It's not something she does often - usually Azzy is the one to put more effort into food - but it feels right today.

Her mind continues to think about the past, stubbornly centering around Asriel and the accident. Even today, they don't know how the crash happened. She, Kat, and Ky are pretty certain it was engineered by Gaster - Asriel lost his ability to reset around the same time, not that he tried to use it much once they left Mt. Ebott - but whatever investigation went on was quickly wrapped up, and there was never enough evidence gathered to be conclusive. So the official statement is that it was a drunk driver hit and run.

In some ways, Brooke is glad that it happened near the town hall. Night Vale is many things, with many different levels of danger in any given area. The town hall is relatively safe. He and Toriel could've been out by route 800, somewhere where there wasn't a railing, and they could have gone spiraling into the desert. It could've been near their house, where kids have always been known to run around and play. It could've been out in Desert Bluffs, so vastly different from Night Vale at the time, when they had a blizzard or pouring rain; it could've been somewhere on the way to a different town entirely, somewhere they didn't have connection to Night Vale, somewhere no one would be able to find, it could have been in Radon Canyon where few can survive without masks or air, they could've been destroyed by the day's calamity, anything could have happened and he would've been gone right alongside Toriel, two people who have been there for her and loved her even if she wasn't a monster or had any obligation to them and how could she have lived and how could Kat have lived she loved him so much she loved Toriel so much it would've destroyed her Brooke could've lost her too and she's panicking now she knows she is it's okay Asriel is alive he's alive he's alive he's -

A gentle touch to her back has Brooke whirling around to fight because here, now, it's inevitable with Gaster in charge, and she's already holding something so she swings and -

She finds herself immobile and then turned carefully, sees the brown-tipped ears come into view followed by the cream head and baby blue pajamas and then she turns and -

It's just Kat, looking at her with a face full of concern. "Brooke?"

As she takes reality back in, Brooke recognizes a burning smell, and a burning sensation in her hand. She reflexively drops whatever she's holding, and it clatters to the floor.

And I know you don't remember calling me, / but I told you even then you looked so pretty / in your hospital bed / I remember you said / you were scared. / And so am I

"Are you okay, love?"

Kat, sweet Kat; always concerned for others even when she could be in danger. Brooke tries to get her mouth to work properly, but it won't cooperate. She dimly recognizes she has full control of her body again, and that she's leaning against the counter.

Kat moves to rest against her, both supporting her and giving her the ability to ground by purring and letting her run her hands through her thick, soft fur.

"The hash browns," Brooke finally manages.

"I moved them, don't worry babe." Kat butts her head gently against her wife's.

"Thanks."

Kat nods, hopping off the counter and taking Brooke's hand. She leads the human over to the couch, where she proceeds to cuddle up and continue to purr. Brooke resumes petting her, feeling the anxiety slowly ebb away.

"I was trying to make the good ones," she says after a moment. "Did they burn?"

Kat hesitates. "I think they did," she admits. She sits up, reaching for Brooke's hand. "I think you burned your hand, too."

"It's fine," Brooke says, flexing it and immediately feeling the burn flare up.

"May I?" Kat glances up at her.

Looking at her wife, Brooke can't find a no in her, so she nods. Gently, always gentle, Kat takes her hand in her paws. They glow for a moment, and Brooke feels the pain fade. It helps to bridge that last bit between her and reality as well, and she kisses the top of the cat monster's head. "Thanks babe."

Kat smiles at her, but it fades quickly. "Are you alright, Brooke? You weren't answering me, and you were really startled."

The human exhales slowly. "I... Got a little too caught up in the past," she says, adding quietly, "Thinking about Azzy."

Kat nods, leaning against her. "He's okay now. We all are. More or less," she adds as Brooke snorts.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess we are." Brooke smiles faintly. "He up yet?"

Kat shakes her head.

"Good. I don't want him to know about the hash brown failure."

That gets her wife to giggle. "He'd eat them anyway, you know he would."

"Yeah, but he shouldn't," Brooke snickers. She gets up. "Wanna help me with something simpler?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Probably scrambled eggs."

"Sure."

#whump #kat #Brooke #Asriel #the 30th #billie eilish #timeline: unaffiliated #also surprise! this is actually my planned canon and they are in fact polyamourous :)#the pining still exists for Kat but now it doesn't feel as bitter to me

6 notes · View notes