#And i will never talk about the au either. Imagine it in ur mind if u wanna know what it is.
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corazón de melón.
tldr; the one time you have a proper conversation with itoshi sae ends up unleashing a series of events you never imagined could’ve happened.
wc. 10.2k
¿?: roommates to lovers, college!au, idiots in love, this is pure domesticity tbh, fluff, lowk word vomit, ooc-ish sae (he’s a silly lil guy sometimes this is the hill i’ll die on), slow burn ig ??, swearing, someone’s mean to you (not sae), not proofread (no surprise)
a/n: i have so many emotions in my heart for sae, SOMEONE SEDATE ME PLEASE FREE ME FROM HIM I CANT LIVE NORMALLY ANYMORE, turned rue into a sae liker for this so real of me, @rintosei, enjoy ur meal my children this is probably the longest thing i’ll write in a hot minute
when others think of itoshi sae, many words come to mind: genius, talented, jerk, asshole, rude, mean, scary, lashes, pretty—the list goes on.
you have no particular thoughts about sae. all he is to you is your roommate. you’d like to have an opinion of him, but that seems impossible with the way you can count the number of times you’ve spoken to him with one hand.
though, if you had to be honest, the only common thread in the few interactions you’ve had is that he very clearly does not care for your company—or anyone’s company, for that matter.
not that you blame him. if you had to deal with having to go to practice after a day of classes, you wouldn’t want to interact with anyone else, either. (you’d also not have the energy to do anything.)
it’s why you’re used to hearing him get back to the apartment while you’re eating dinner; why you started leaving some leftovers for him to eat whenever he wants to.
it’s also why you’re surprised when he comes back from practice earlier than usual. you jump when you hear the front door open, placing your hand over your heart.
your turn to the door, eyes widening slightly when you see sae walk in. you don’t greet him—you never do—you don’t think he’d appreciate it. (he never greets you either, so you assumed it was fine.)
so, you turn your attention back to the tv, reaching out to grab the broom. you quickly start sweeping, humming a tune while the noise of whatever drama is playing in the background fills the apartment.
you barely register that sae’s door doesn’t open, but the thought quickly leaves your mind when something dramatic happens to one of the leads.
you take a step back, an unceremonious yelp leaving your lips when your back bumps into something. a second passes by before you slowly tilt your head back.
your eyes are met with a pair of teal ones. a sheepish smile tugs at your lips, “hi?”
he raises a brow, “what are you doing?”
“cleaning.” you move the broom from side to side in hopes to draw his attention to it. (he barely glances at it before his eyes snap back to yours.)
you take a step forward, moving to face him. he just stares at you. an awkward silence settles between the two of you.
“you’re back early.” you hope he didn’t hear your voice crack.
he blinks, clearly uninterested. “practice ended early.”
you hum, nervously bouncing on the balls of your feet. you huff, tapping your fingers against the broom. “i see.”
it’s clear both of you feel uncomfortable. still, neither of you makes a move to leave. you’re more surprised sae’s still standing in front of you. (sae’s mildly intrigued you’re attempting to talk to him.)
you open your mouth to speak, but promptly shut it close. you repeat the action two more times before sae interrupts you, “what?”
your eyes drift away from his. you gnaw on your bottom lip. “it’s nothing.”
he glares at you. “just spit it out.”
your eyes widen, snapping back to look at him as you dismissively wave your hand. “it’s really nothing, you can just leave!”
“you clearly have something you want to say to me,” he deadpans, “so i suggest you get it over with so we can put an end to this lukewarm conversation.”
you take a deep breath, wiping one hand against your shirt, gently swaying the broom with the other. “i was just wondering, y’know since you’re back early–”
“hurry up.”
“do you wanna eat together?” you look at the ground, feet shuffling uncomfortably. the silence feels unbearable.
“that’s it?” the confusion in his voice confuses you. you lift your eyes to stare at him, confusion etched in your face.
your head tilts to the side in confusion, “what do you mean ‘that’s it’?”
“you wanna eat with me?” he points at himself. his brows knit when you nod. sae owlishly blinks,
“okay.”
his eyes widen in confusion when he sees an elated smile bloom on your lips.
“i won’t start cooking yet, since i at least have to finish sweeping,” you hum, “but if you’re hungry you could get started on something and i’ll join you when i’m done.”
“i can’t cook.” sae awkwardly coughs. he shoves his hands into his pockets, looking away from you, a soft flush spreading through his cheeks.
“oh,” you blink, smiling at him. “that’s fine! i can cook something while you clean instead.”
the blush on his cheeks deepens as his brows furrow. “i don’t know how to clean.”
your smile tightens, eyes squinting as you inch closer to him.
there’s a beat of silence. “what can you do then?”
“play football.” you wait a few seconds for him to say something else.
“that’s it?”
“yeah.” he says it as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. (as if it was the only thing that mattered.)
you rub your forehead, a dry laugh escaping your lips.
if you were to tell others of this discovery you’re sure they wouldn’t believe you. you’re not even sure you believe him, yourself.
at least you didn’t, until he took the broom from your grasp. you have to bite back your laughter when he can’t even hold it properly. you wonder how he’d manage to survive alone.
itoshi sae is basically useless outside of football, you conclude. (and you’re not sure if this is the opinion you want to have about your roommate.)
it’s been a week since you learned about sae’s lack of ability to do seemingly anything other than kick a ball around.
it’s also been a week since he started coming back from practice earlier. you have mixed feelings about it. on one hand, you find it strangely comforting knowing you’re not alone in the apartment. on the other, sae just stares at you while you clean.
you’re sick of feeling his eyes follow you around. it feels like a predator watching its prey. having his eyes trail you makes you feel judged, and you’ve had enough.
so, you tighten your grip around the mop in your hands, turning around to look at sae. you take a deep breath, “why are you staring at me?”
he blinks, propping an arm on a couch cushion and leaning his head into his palm. “i’m trying to learn.”
confusion paints itself all over your face, “learn what?”
“learn to clean.” you hate when he says things like they’re the most obvious thing ever. it makes you feel as if he expects you to know what goes on in his head.
“by staring at me?” you raise a brow.
he simply shrugs, “i’m a visual learner.”
you don’t know if you believe him.
so, you place one of your hands on your hips, tilting the mop back and forth with the other one. “in that case, you should try cleaning today.”
his eyes widen, mouth curling into a fine line. “i don’t think i’m ready for that.”
you take a step closer to him, holding the mop out to him. “well, i think that after a week of watching me you should start practicing what you’ve learned.”
“don’t ever think again.” he frowns.
“oh, please,” you roll your eyes, “don’t tell me the itoshi sae is afraid of a little mopping.”
that makes him get up. you bite back the satisfied smile threatening to creep up your face when he snatches the mop from your hands.
“i’m just supposed to move this side to side, right?” he stiffly holds the mop, looking at you with a raised brow.
“‘m not gonna help you out,” you make your way to the couch, mimicking his earlier position. “if you’ve been learning from staring at me for a week then you should know what to do.”
“i know what to do.” he rolls his eyes, “i just don’t know how to do it.”
“figure it out, then.” you lean forward against the palm of your hand, trying to hide your smile behind your fingers.
he glares at you and scoffs, redirecting his attention to the object in his hands. you fail to stifle your laughter when he moves the mop in a sweeping motion.
“don’t laugh!” his grip tightens around the mop, heat rushing to his ears.
you bite your tongue, the ghost of a smile still lingering on your lips, “i’m not.”
he tsks, slightly pouting. he walks towards you, dragging the mop behind him. you look up at him, you eyes flutter closed when he flicks your forehead.
“teach me.” your eyes snap open, flickering to meet his. a confused noise leaves your lips as your brows furrow.
“teach you what?” your eyes flutter when he flicks your forehead again.
sae’s eye twitches in annoyance, “are you stupid or something?”
you glare at him, “not everyone thinks the same things you do!”
he clicks his tongue, rolling his eyes. he points at the mop and then at himself. “teach me to clean.”
“i thought you said you were a visual learner.” you deadpan.
“consider this your punishment for laughing at me.” he huffs, a condescending smile blooming on his lips when he sees your pained expression.
his face leans closer to yours, “i look forward to learning from you, teach.”
you dumbly stare at him as he places the mop in your hands. he flashes you a shit-eating grin before retreating to his room. you blink twice before coming to your senses, punching the couch cushions in anger.
you wish you hadn’t found out itoshi sae was a little shit. you much preferred when you only thought of him as your useless roommate.
itoshi sae is the most infuriating student you’ve ever met.
you thought someone described as a genius would be a much better student than he actually is. he doesn’t pay attention to anything you say at all. you wonder if his teachers just let him pass the class because they don’t want him around anymore.
you have a newfound respect for his actual teachers. you don’t know how they manage to stand him for a whole semester when you don’t think you can even last two weeks. (it’s still longer than you expected.)
“sae,” you loudly sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, “you’re doing it wrong. again.”
his grip around the broom tightens, his knuckles turning white, “i’m doing what you told me to do!”
“you’re not!” you groan, running a hand down your face, “gosh, how do you manage to do everything i tell you the wrong way?”
“what, so i’m the problem?” his eyes narrow, he takes a step closer to you, “have you ever thought that maybe you’re a bad teacher?”
an angry gasp leaves your lips, “excuse me?!”
“you heard me.” he grits his teeth, “you’re clearly the most lukewarm teacher ever. how do you expect me to learn when you don’t care about teaching me properly?”
“have you ever considered that maybe i don’t want to teach you because you forced me to?” you rub your temples in a poor attempt to prevent the coming headache.
he scoffs, brows knitting in annoyance, “you could at least put more effort into making sure i’m learning.”
“you think i’m not?” you point him square in the chest, glaring at him. “i’m doing my best here, okay? it’s not my fault you’re a shit student.”
“you–”
“you listen while your teacher is speaking.” you seethe, grabbing a fistful of his shirt, “i’m trying to do the best i can. i’m not qualified to teach you anything, especially not with how you don’t even pay attention to what i say!”
he frowns, “well, i–”
you shake him as hard as you can, angry tears pooling in your eyes, “you’re the most ungrateful, useless piece of fucking shit i’ve ever met in my life!”
sae grabs your wrists, letting the broom fall with a clang to the floor. he stares at you with wide eyes. you blink, heat creeping up your face in embarrassment.
there’s a beat of silence. sae’s eyes scan your face. “you good?”
he lets out a soft sigh of relief when you nod. “are you going to punch me if i let go?”
he relaxes a little when you shake your head. he looks at you as he slowly lets go of your hands. you stare at him, wide eyed as he gently walks you over to the couch and sits you down.
sae plops down on the other end of the couch, glancing at you. he opens his mouth to speak, but promptly closes it. you stop yourself from laughing at his awkwardness. (it reminds you of how you must’ve acted when you talked to him a couple of weeks ago.)
you twist the hem of your shirt in your hands, looking away from sae, gnawing on your bottom lip. “’m sorry about that.”
“don’t apologize.” he coughs awkwardly, crossing his arms, “i probably stressed you out too much.”
“yeah, but, still,” you turn to face him, “i shouldn’t have said something so rude.”
“it’s fine. i really did deserve that, after all.” an amused laugh escapes his lips, “i’ve never heard you so mad before, though.”
you tilt your head to the side, “what do you mean?”
“i mean,” a hint of amused smile tugs at the corners of his lips, “you tend to get really loud when you complain about your classes. i can hear you all the way to my room.”
your face heats up in embarrassment. you slump against the couch, hiding your face behind your hands. “sorry.”
“stop apologizing,” you slightly relax when you hear a sliver of empathy in his voice. “it’s better to let your emotions out instead of holding them in.”
you lower your hands from your face, staring at him. “do you do that?”
“it depends,” he hums, “feelings are lukewarm most of the time, so when i get angry or whatever i’ll let it out so i can get it over with.”
you narrow your eyes at him, scanning his face. “how does that even work?”
he shrugs nonchalantly, “if i get mad at someone i’ll say it to their face while i’m still mad so i can stop being angry.”
you mull over his words, “so instead of having pent up feelings and reaching your limit, you just act on your emotions as soon as possible so you go back to feeling nothing?”
“pretty much.”
a small hum leaves your lips. silence settles between the two of you before a loud growl echoes through the apartment. laughter bubbles in your chest, spilling out of your mouth when sae’s face flushes.
“shut up!” he hides behind his hands, “i haven’t eaten all day!”
you stand up, walking over and extending a hand out to sae, “wanna help out with dinner?”
he lowers his hands from his face, glancing between your eyes and your hand. he blinks, “i can’t cook.”
“i know,” a smile blooms on your lips, “you can consider it your first lesson.”
sae’s eyes light up, the corners of his lips tilting up ever so slightly. “you’re still gonna teach me?”
“i can’t let you stay useless forever.” you stick your tongue out at him, smiling when he grabs your hand.
a huff of laughter escapes his lips when you fail to tug him up. you flip him off before leaving him behind on the couch. a smile lingers on his face when he follows you to the kitchen.
he’s not a good assistant. (and he’s an even worse cook). in fact, if you’d known that letting him into the kitchen would’ve resulted in having to evacuate the building due to the fire alarm, you wouldn’t have asked for his help at all.
however, you do appreciate that he invited you out for dinner later as an apology for stressing you out.
(it makes you think he’s more considerate than he pretends to be.)
you’ve lost track of the times you’ve had to apologize to your neighbors over sae activating the fire alarm.
it’s embarrassing enough that seemingly everyone in the complex goes to your college, but sae seems to make it worse by glaring at anyone who so much as looks in your direction with a judgemental stare.
“i can’t keep going on like this,” you cover your face with your hands. you shrink into yourself when you feel multiple eyes staring at the back of your head.
“stop overreacting.” sae clicks his tongue. still, he discreetly grabs the hem of your shirt and gently pulls you closer to his side.
you lower your hands from your face, frowning at him as tears of shame pool in your eyes. “everyone’s judging us!”
“just ignore them.” he awkwardly pats your head, “they’ll forget about it soon enough.”
“sae, this happens almost every week!” you cry, gnawing your lower lip, “some guy yelled at me last time because we interrupted his studying! do you have any idea how long i had to apologize for?”
his jaw clenches as anger flashes through his face for a split second before his uninterested expression returns. “what’d he look like?”
“i don’t know,” you blink, “he was tall. he also had brown-ish hair, i think?”
he shoves his hands in his pockets, tilting his head in the direction of the building, “do you know his apartment number?”
“no,” you sigh. “why?”
the corners of his lips quirk up into a mischievous smile. “i was thinking of baking him some apology cookies.”
you cover your mouth in a feeble attempt to stifle your laughter. (if everyone was staring at you in judgment for triggering the fire alarm, now they’re judging you for laughing in this situation.)
sae tugs you into the building when you’re all cleared to enter, glaring at a few neighbors who shoot dirty looks at both of you.
you smack his arm, “stop doing that, you’re embarrassing us!”
he scoffs, flipping off anyone who’s still staring, “does it look like i care? they’re all too scared to say anything to my face, anyway.”
“yeah, but they always say shit to me when you’re gone,” you click your tongue, frowning. sae drags you up the stairs to your apartment.
both of you stand in front of your door when sae puts his hands on your shoulders, staring at you in the eyes. his eyes are a pretty shade of teal, you note.
“if anyone gives you shit when you’re alone, just remember what they look like, ‘kay?” he flicks your forehead, a malicious gleam in his eyes, “i’ll make sure to personally apologize for the trouble.”
a smile blooms on your lips, “you’re so mean.”
“shut up,” he rolls his eyes, pinching your cheek, “as your roommate, i’m the only one allowed to give you a hard time.”
“whatever you say, freak,” you rub your cheek, smile widening, swatting his hand away when he reaches out to pinch your other cheek.
sae bites back a smile as he nods his head toward the door. “did you bring your key?”
you reach into your pockets, feeling around for the key. your head tilts down, eyes widening in panic when you don’t find anything.
an embarrassed chuckle slips past your lips when you lift your head back up to look at sae. he pinches the bridge of his nose.
“gosh, you’re so useless.”
you kick his shin, sticking your tongue out at him, “you don’t get to say that to me.”
he sticks his tongue out at you in return, crossing his arms. “whatever. just go and ask the landlord for a key.”
“me?” you raise your brows at him, haughtily tilting your head to the side, “you’re the reason we had to evacuate the building in the first place! i think it’s only fair that you get the key.”
sae opens his mouth to tell you off, but seemingly decides to sigh loudly in annoyed defeat instead, “fine.”
you smile triumphantly, turning to face him, your eyes closing as your chest puffs out in pride. sae rests his index finger on your forehead. your eyes flutter open in confusion at the contact, smile dropping into a curious pout.
“tell me if anyone bothers you while i’m gone.” he flicks your forehead one last time before turning around and walking away. a content smile blooms on your lips as you stare at his back, sliding down to sit next to the door.
you don’t tell him the tall guy from last time dropped by to yell at you again. sae didn’t even have to ask to tell something was wrong with the way your smile seemed dimmer when you told him you’d take over making lunch.
he doesn’t tell you he’s going to give that asshole the ‘apology’ cookies he’d mentioned before. (and he definitely doesn’t mention that he got his apartment number from the landlord when he got the key to your apartment.) but you had an inkling of what he was going to do when you saw him take out some bowls and a whisk from the cabinets. (you didn’t stop him.)
you bake him some actual ‘thank you’ cookies and place them by his door before heading to your room for the night. the next morning you find a post-it with an ‘anytime’ messily scribbled on it and a ‘thanks for the cookies :)’ on the other side.
you smile fondly at the teal-colored square. you think it resembles the color of his eyes. (it makes you feel warm and fuzzy.)
sae’s gotten slightly better at cooking. he’s able to make at least one meal without triggering the fire alarms.
you feel proud. you suppose that’s what teachers feel when their most lazy, unmotivated student finally manages to put effort into something.
it makes you feel proud enough that you take a detour to the convenience store on your way home. a fond smile lights up your face when you walk out of the store, plastic bag in hand with a chocolate bar and a pack of star stickers.
there’s a skip to your step as you head home, swinging the bag back and forth.
you’ve barely even opened the door to your apartment when it swings open. your eyes widen in surprise when they meet sae’s.
his eyes narrow, “what took you so long?”
a slightly burnt scent wafts the apartment. your nose scrunches, “is something burning?”
“answer my question first,” he points the spatula in his hand at you.
“i got you a reward,” you smile, lifting the bag in your hands.
his eyes light up, “what’d you get me?”
you quickly hide the bag behind your back when he reaches out for it. “answer my question first.”
a small smile tugs at his lips. he rolls his eyes, “nothing is burning. i turned off the stove before opening the door just to be sure.”
you reach out to pat his head, a teasing smile on your lips, “good job, sae!”
he scoffs, a soft blush dusts his ears. “you make it sound like you’re praising a dog.”
you huff, “stop complaining when you’re getting praised.”
“whatever.” sae pouts, brows knitting, “when are you giving me my gift?”
“so impatient ,” you tsk, shaking your head, “let me in first, i don’t wanna stand in the hallway any longer.”
he grabs your arm and pulls you close to him, kicking the door closed. you bump into his chest, eyes widening as heat rushes to your ears.
the first thing that pops into your mind is that he smells nice. there’s a hint of a burnt scent that clings to him, but he still smells nice. (you note that he feels warm too. it makes you feel warm.)
you feel a slight pressure against your brows. it makes you blink as you slowly snap out of your stupor.
“you good?” your eyes meet sae’s worried ones. he leans in closer to you, scanning your face. you awkwardly nod.
his brows furrow. “are you sure? you zoned out for a bit. are your classes stressing you out too much?”
you shake your head, slightly leaning away from him. your lips press into a fine line. sae’s eyes narrow as he scans your face. he steps back, his hands resting on your shoulders. the spatula lightly digs into your skin.
“is it that guy again?” he tightens his grip, making you wince when the spatula presses harder against your skin, “is he still bothering you?”
“i think you scared him away,” you quickly swat his arms away. “i’m fine, though.”
“are you sure?” he sighs when you nod, “why’d you zone out then?”
“i got distracted,” you gnaw on your bottom lip.
his expression morphs to confusion, “with what?”
your eyes widen slightly. you don’t want to tell him he’s the reason you zoned out. so, you settle for the only thing that comes to mind, “the smell of something burning. are you sure you turned off the stove?”
“yes.” he groans in annoyance. there’s a small pause. sae turns around, tugging you into the kitchen with him.
“look!” he points at the stove, “it’s off. stop making me second-guess myself.”
an amused smile blooms on your face, “i can’t believe you had to come check if you actually turned it off.”
“i can’t believe you actually haven’t given me my gift yet,” he scoffs, pouting.
you laugh, reaching out to flick his forehead. “patience is a virtue, sae. it’d do you well to have it.”
“whatever.” he tries to grab the bag from your hands. “just give it to me already.”
you smile, pulling out the chocolate bar from the bag. laughter bubbles in your chest when you see his stunned expression.
“chocolate?” he glares at the bar in your hand, “do you know how unhealthy that is for me?”
“if you don’t want it i’ll just keep it, then.” you nonchalantly shrug.
he snatches it out of your grasp. “i never said i didn’t want it.”
his eyes twinkle when he unwraps it. he glances up at you, “do you want a bite?”
“just a small one,” you reach out to grab the bar.
sae moves the chocolate out of your reach, “open your mouth.”
you blink, tilting your head in confusion. he sighs, “i’ll feed it to you. i need to make sure you don’t bite off half of the bar.”
“do you trust me so little?” you scoff, crossing your arms. still, you open your mouth, heat rushing to your ears when sae tells you to take a bite.
“is it good?” he stares at you, taking a bite of the chocolate when you nod.
you both swallow at the same time, a smile lighting up your face. “i think you deserve another reward for sharing.”
his brows raise in intrigue, “another? gosh, you’re really spoiling me today, aren’t you?”
you take the pack of stickers out of the back, waving it in front of him. he gives you an unamused look.
“i bought these for whenever you do something nice,” you place a sticker on his cheek.
“that’s stupid,” he frowns.
“shut up, you look cute.” you pinch his other cheek.
he clicks his tongue, “whatever. now get out of my kitchen i need to continue making dinner.”
laughter spills out of your mouth when he pushes you into the living room. “do you want me to help?”
“no.” he huffs, “i can do it myself. now go relax or something, i’ll come get you when dinner’s ready.”
“are you sure you’ll be fine on your own?” you snicker, “i’d hate to have to evacuate the building.”
he lightly smacks your shoulder, “i can cook by myself!”
“sae–”
“just let me cook something for you this once,” he mutters.
a soft, defeated sigh leaves your lips, “okay.”
“i’ll let you cook alone,” you smile, “just this once, though. i can’t leave you unsupervised for too long.”
he hums, patting your head before heading back to the kitchen. a small smile lingers on your lips as you make your way to the couch, turning on the tv.
it doesn’t take long for sae to walk over, two plates in his hands, and a self-satisfied smile on his lips.
you’d be lying if you said the meal was good. it was slightly charred, and a little too salty. you’re sure you would’ve managed to turn it into something decent if he’d let you help.
still, as bad as the food was, you can’t help but eat it with a smile on your face, a warm, fuzzy feeling tugging at your heart.
sae groans in annoyance when you place another sticker on his forehead. (your heart leaps when you notice the soft flush to his cheeks.)
he lets you help him wash the dishes, complaining when you flick soapy water in his direction. laughter fills the apartment when he flicks water back at you. time seemingly slowing down to let you savor the moment just a little longer before you head back to your room.
you drift off to sleep with a smile on your face. your heart drums against your chest when you recall the smile on sae’s face.
(you wish he’d smile at you more often.)
you’ve discovered sae is much better at cleaning than he is at cooking. you’ve also discovered that he’s more thoughtful than he lets on.
he tends to clean the apartment while you’re in class. he claims it’s because he absolutely must practice cleaning in order to get better. (you don’t believe him.) he swears he ensures the apartment’s clean by the time you get home because he can’t stand your nagging. (you still don’t believe him.)
it’s why you’ve had to go out and buy more stickers to reward him with. it’s also why you’re a little surprised to see him still mopping the apartment when you get back.
you take your shoes off, quickly putting on your slippers. “you’re still cleaning?”
“i’m almost done,” he hums, “practice ended a little later today.”
you make your way to the couch, careful not to slip on the floor, “why? is there a match soon?”
“there’s one tomorrow,” he turns to look at you, frowning when he sees you pull out a pack of stickers with a teasing smile on your face. (he still makes his way over to you when you tell him to come closer despite knowing your intention.) he watches you place the sticker on his shirt, a concentrated look in your eyes.
he sticks his tongue out at you when you look up at him with a satisfied grin. sae rests his hand on top of your head. “wanna come watch?”
you tilt your head to the side, “i’m not a big football fan.”
he playfully shakes your head, brows knitting, “have you ever even been to a football match?”
“no,” you pry his hand off your head, “but i don’t really see the point of going when i know i’ll get bored.”
he rolls his eyes, “you won’t.”
“how do you know?” you lean closer to him, raising a brow, a playful grin on your lips.
he leans closer to you, nose playfully scrunching, “because i’m going to be playing.”
your face scrunches up in mock disgust, “you’re making me not want to go even more.”
he teasingly clutches his heart in faux pain, a smile on his lips as he tries to hold back his laughter, “you’re so mean. you’re hurting me right now.”
“are you trying to make me feel bad?” you bite back a smile, fondly rolling your eyes. “because it’s totally working.”
“your sarcasm wounds me,” he frowns, shaking his head. “i can’t believe my roommate won’t support me at my match.”
you punch his arm, “keep this up and you won’t be eating any dinner.”
“fuck,” a hearty laugh escapes his lips, “when’d you get so mean?”
“i learned from the best,” you stick your tongue out at him. a soft laugh leaves your lips when sae scoffs, looking away.
“are you really not going to go see the match?” he turns to you, pouting. you hate when he uses that little pout to guilt you. (you hate that you fall for it even more.)
you sigh, slumping against the couch, “i’ll think about it.”
“just give me an actual answer, damn.” he taps your forehead, “are you going, yes or no?”
a teasing smile creeps up your lips, “maybe.”
you laugh when he calls out your name in annoyance. he groans, glaring at you, “i hate you.”
“no you don’t,” you smile at him, “if you did you wouldn’t have asked me to go see you play tomorrow.”
his face flushes in embarrassment. “you’re not even going anyway!”
you rest your head on your hand, “i am, though.”
he stares at you, unimpressed. there’s a beat of silence before he huffs, the corners of his lips quirking up, “i really can’t stand you sometimes.”
“it’s not my fault you’re fun to tease!” you laugh. he flips you off before turning around to continue mopping. you sigh, stretching your arms up. a couple of seconds go by before you get up to make your way to the kitchen.
“where are you going?”
“the kitchen,” you hum, turning around to look at sae. your ears burn when your eyes meet his. you wish you knew what goes on in his head when he stares at you so intensely. you wish you knew if he even knows he’s staring at you so intently. a small, awkward cough leaves your lips, “i wanted to get started on dinner.”
“you’re not even going to wait for me?” you fiddle with the hem of your shirt at his teasing tone.
sometimes you wonder if he knows how domestic your dynamic has become. if he’s aware that people have started associating him with you, and vice versa. if he’s aware of the effect his words have on you. (you really wish you could take a peek inside his mind.)
“you’d just get in my way,” you tsk, “besides i wanna finish quickly, my head hurts a little.”
he quickly walks over to you, dragging the mop behind him, “have you taken any medicine?”
“i’m fine,” you wave off the hand he placed on your forehead, “it’s probably because i’m hungry.”
“are you sure?” your heart pounds against your chest at his concern.
you give him a reassuring smile, “i’m sure. if it still hurts before i go to bed i’ll take some medicine.”
“fine.” he huffs, lips pursing, “but if you still feel bad tomorrow, promise you’ll let me know.”
you feel your heart squeeze. you gnaw on your bottom lip, twisting the hem of your shirt with your hands.
“i promise.” your voice is barely above a whisper, it’s just loud enough for him to hear.
he smiles, patting your head, “don’t push yourself too hard, ok?”
sae turns around. you stare at his back, his name tumbling out of your lips before you can stop yourself. he turns around with a curious hum.
you feel like your heart rests on your throat. he patiently waits for you to continue. heat rushes to your ears and you wipe your hands against your shirt. “i also promise i’ll go see your match.”
the smile that lights up his face makes you wish it was tomorrow already. you want to go. (because you like seeing him smile.) you want to go see his match. (because it’ll make him happy.)
you want to see him do his favorite thing in the world. you want to share that happiness with him, despite not caring much for the sport. (because you think it’ll make him happy to see you there, even if he doesn’t say it. you want to be the reason he feels genuine happiness.)
you’re not there.
it’s the first thing sae notices when he looks at the stands. it’s what he keeps noticing whenever he turns to look at the stands throughout the match. when they reach halftime and you’re still not there, so he texts you. the second half starts and you’re still not there.
the game ends and you never showed up. his brows knit when he checks his phone only to find out you never even read his messages. concern carves itself into him.
he makes his way back to the apartment as quickly as he can, secretly hoping that nothing bad happened to you.
his heart beats faster, anxiety seeping into him when he opens the door and he doesn’t see your figure on the couch.
sae hastily kicks his shoes off, dropping his duffel bag somewhere on the floor. he lets out a deep breath when he stands in front of your door, quickly knocking.
a couple of seconds go by before he knocks again, frowning when there’s no reply. he quietly opens the door, mentally apologizing. his eyes quickly scan the room for you. there’s a lump in his throat when he sees something stir under your bed sheets.
he quietly walks over to your bed, slowly lowering your comforter. his chest tightens, brows knitting with worry when he sees your face twisted in pain, a slight sheen of sweat on your forehead. he grabs a tissue from your nightstand, gingerly wiping the sweat away.
he sharply inhales when you stir under his touch. sae stares at you as you slowly open your eyes. his eyes fill with concern when he notices how heavy, and unfocused yours look.
he presses the back of his hand against your forehead, brows furrowing even more, “gosh, you’re burning up.”
“sae?” he can barely hear your voice. “why’re you here?”
he clicks his tongue, wiping more sweat off your forehead.
“what about the match?” you blearily look at him, voice laced with soft concern. you try to keep your eyes open when he heads out, grogginess catching up to you when he returns with a bowl in his hands, a hand towel over his shoulder.
he dampens the towel, wringing out the excess onto the bowl. sae gently presses it against your forehead, “have you had a fever all day long?”
“did i miss it?” his heart aches at how choked up your voice sounds.
“i thought i told you to tell me if you weren’t feeling alright, dumbass,” he nags, carefully lifting your head up to prop another pillow under it.
“‘m sorry.” your eyes fill with tears, a pout tugging at your lips. he gently adjusts the towel against your skin.
“don’t apologize,” he softly tsks, “worry about getting better, not about missing the game, idiot.”
he panics when a tear rolls down your cheek, hastily brushing it away. his heart squeezes in pain when more tears freely roll down your cheeks.
“i didn’t,” you sniffle, “didn’t wanna miss the game.”
he shushes you, grabbing another tissue to wipe your tears away. “it’s fine.”
“‘s not,” your breath quickens, brows knitting in sadness, “i promised.”
he firmly calls out your name, “it’s not your fault.”
“i promised,” you hiccup. sae frowns, reaching out to remove the towel from your forehead, pouting when he notices you’re still burning up. he quickly dampens it again before resting it against your skin once more.
“i’ll go get you some medicine,” he whispers, turning around to exit your room.
sae stops in his tracks when he feels something weakly tug at his fingers. he turns to look at you, sucking in a shaky breath when he sees you holding on to him.
“don’t leave.” you weakly try to pull him closer.
there’s a slight flicker of hope in him that tells him you’re aware of what you’re doing despite your raging fever. but he quickly extinguishes it by reminding himself that you probably think you’re dreaming. (because there’s no way you’d tell him to stay with you otherwise, he’s sure of it.)
“i have to get you some medicine,” he mutters. still, he makes no attempt to free his hand from yours.
“stay.” he wants to. he wants to stay with you more than anything. but he needs to get you something to relieve your fever.
he sits on your bed, readjusting your grip on his hand, “i need to go get your medicine.”
he gingerly readjusts the towel on your forehead, slightly smiling at you. his heart pangs with worry when he notices how clammy your hands are.
sae’s eyes widen when you lift yourself up, wrapping your arms around his neck. the towel on your forehead drops into his lap. he feels you rest your head on his shoulders, frowning at the heat emanating from you. (still, he wraps his arms around you so you don’t fall.)
his worried eyes meet your hazy ones when you slowly lift your head to look at him, a sleepy smile on your lips.
“so stubborn,” your hands cup his cheeks.
sae freezes when he feels your lips press against his. his heart beats faster, blush spreading through his face like wildfire.
a sharp inhale leaves his lips when he feels your hands drop from his cheeks, your body tilting back. he cups the back of your head before it hits the pillow.
his eyes scan your face. he lowers his head when he feels your feeble grip on his jacket. his eyes flicker to yours when you weakly tug him closer in an attempt to press his lips against yours again.
he slowly lifts your head up, a soft huff of laughter slipping past his lips when a glimmer of anticipation flashes through your eyes. he presses his lips against yours in a short peck, a startled noise leaving his mouth when you pull him back in.
his face heats up more and more every time you chase after his lips when he pulls away for air. he pants when you pull away, trying to catch your breath. he rests his forehead against yours, his breath fanning against your lips.
you softly call out his name. butterflies erupt in his stomach. he really hopes you know you’re not dreaming.
his arm tightens against you, the hand resting on the back of your head gently tilting it to the side. he doesn’t think twice before pressing his lips against yours again, a content sigh escaping him when you melt under his touch.
he presses his lips against yours over and over again, gently lowering you back onto the bed. your kisses feel like they’re the very air he breathes. like he’ll suffocate if he’s apart from you for more than a second.
sae kisses you silly until he feels your grip against his jacket soften. he pulls away, panting, face ablaze, eyes looking at your sleeping face with a softness that is so unlike him.
he carefully removes your hands from him, lifting your comforter to tuck you into bed. a smile lingers on his lips as he places the towel on your forehead again.
he quietly makes his way out of your room, pressing the pads of his fingers against his lips. his heart feels like it wants to jump out of his chest. a deep sigh leaves his lips. he makes his way to the front door, quickly putting on his shoes to go buy your medicine.
sae really hopes you get better soon. (he wants to kiss you again, and he wants to be sure you’ll remember it properly.)
if you thought sae was a bad student, he’s an even worse patient. he is the most uncooperative sick person you’ve ever met in your life.
you suppose it’s only fair to put up with him since he took care of you while you were sick. (even if it makes you want to knock him unconscious.)
still, it never fails to make your blood boil when you find him wobbling around the living room with a broom in his hands.
“would it kill you to stay in bed?” you stomp over to him, prying the broom off his hands before propping it against the wall.
he blearily looks at you, pouting. he sniffles, “yes.”
you frown, grabbing his hand and dragging him to his room. he glares at you when you force him to lay down on his bed.
“stay here while i get your medicine,” you point at him, glaring back. “or i’ll suffocate you with a pillow until you fall asleep.”
“you can’t be rude to me while i’m sick!” he angrily crosses his arms, scoffing.
it’s still surprising that he’s still in bed when you get back. it’s even more surprising that he’s staring at the door, his face lighting up when you enter.
his nose scrunches up in disgust when he sees the cough syrup in your hands. he burrows himself in his comforter, turning his head away from you.
“sae.” you gently call out, sitting next to him. a small smile blooms on your lips when he slowly turns to look at you. “you know you have to take your medicine to get better, right?”
“if i take my medicine,” he sneezes, “will you give me a reward?”
“yeah, sure, i’ll give you a sticker.” you absentmindedly hum, uncapping the syrup.
“no,” he shakes his head, “i want another reward.”
your brows raise in confusion, your turn your attention to him. “what kind of reward?”
he smiles, lifting a hand to tap his lips and then tapping yours. your face heats up, jaw dropping. you gently swat his hand away, pouting. “you shouldn’t tease like that.”
“‘m not,” he sticks his tongue out at you, “i want another kiss.”
“another?” you blink in surprise. your eyes widen slightly when a cheeky smile creeps up his lips.
“you kissed me when you were sick,” he snickers, nose scrunching up when you force the syrup into his mouth.
“no i didn’t,” you frown. he forces himself to swallow the cough syrup, a choked gasp leaving his lips.
“you don’t remember?” he whines, sniffling when you shake your head.
you feel a pang in your heart when sae looks at you, eyes swimming with sadness. “‘m sorry, sae.”
“‘s fine,” he playfully smiles, “i’ll just have to make up for it later.”
heat spreads through your face. a pout tugs at your lips, “don’t say stuff like that. i might take you seriously.”
“i’m being serious,” he sniffles, “wanna kiss you again.”
you shyly stare at him, shrinking into yourself. you suppose being sick must’ve made him bolder. or maybe he just wants to get back at you. but you have to admit it gives you the perfect excuse to make him stop being so difficult.
“i’ll kiss you if you stop complaining about taking your medicine,” you quietly huff, fingers playing with your shirt.
your ears feel like they’re on fire when his face lights up. “but only when you get better! i don’t wanna get sick again.”
he nods, a satisfied grin blooming on his lips. “sounds good to me.”
there’s a beat of silence before you stand up. sae’s eyes widen, “where are you going?”
“i’m gonna go make you some soup,” you hum, “you should sleep while i’m gone.”
sae pouts, “‘m not tired.”
“that’s too bad, then,” you stick your tongue out at him. he clicks his tongue.
“i’ll be back soon,” you pat his head. he huffs, pouting.
you barely take a step forward, yelping when you feel something yank you back. your brows knit in annoyance when you feel sae wrapping his arms around you.
“sae.”
“‘m only going to sleep if you stay with me.” he mutters.
an amused smile tugs at your lips. you’re starting to think he’s cute when he’s sick. a little clingy, but cute. (you also think you might indulge him just this once.)
“fine,” you sigh. “but i’m leaving as soon as you fall asleep.”
you don’t.
you’re not sure exactly when you fell asleep, but you’re sure it wasn’t dark outside when sae pulled you towards him. part of you wants to stay with him, just to let him sleep longer. but you also know you need to make him some soup.
so, you gently try to pry yourself off of him. a soft groan leaves your lips when his arms tighten around you.
his name tumbles out of your mouth. “i have to go make your soup.”
“‘m coming with you.” his voice sounds hoarse. (his nose sounds stuffy, too.)
“sae,” you try to pry his arms off, “you need to rest.”
“‘m going with you.” he huffs, “there’s nothing you can say to make me not join you.”
you begrudgingly decide to indulge him again. which is why he’s slumped over your shoulder as you make your way to the kitchen. it’s why he’s holding onto your waist, burrowing his face in your neck as you move around the kitchen.
(it’s why your face feels like it’s on fire when he nuzzles closer to you, smiling.)
and you think that maybe him being a little too clingy isn’t that bad.
when a girl in your class asks you what sae is to you, you’re not sure what to say.
you could say he’s your roommate, like you used to. but you don’t think he’d make himself extremely comfortable in your personal space if he was just your roommate. you could also say he’s your friend (much to everyone’s surprise.) but you’re not sure if he’d be so obsessed with kissing you whenever you’re both home if he was just your friend.
(still, he’s not exactly your boyfriend, either. you’re not sure what he is. neither of you have brought it up before.)
either way, she wouldn’t be satisfied with the answer you give her. at least, that’s what you think with the way she glowers at you.
so, you just say he’s nothing. (which is a lie. but she doesn’t need to know that.)
the result is what you expected, some angry huffing and empty warnings to stay away from sae. (not that it’d work seeing how you live with him.) except, things take a turn for the worse when your phone screen lights up, displaying sae’s name on it while it rings on the table.
a pained expression flashes through your face when she clears her throat. you tilt your head up to look at her, an awkward, tense smile on your lips.
“i thought you said he was nothing to you?” she scoffs.
“he is.” you internally curse how fast you replied. you hope she didn’t notice.
she rolls her eyes, “then why do you have his contact saved with a star on your phone?”
you blink, your lips pressing into a fine line. “because he’s a star?”
she doesn’t look convinced. (neither are you.) a loud, annoyed groan leaves her lips as she looks you up and down, crossing her arms.
“listen here, idiot,” she glares at you. anger flashes in her eyes when your phone rings again. “i don’t know who you think you are–”
(you don’t know who she thinks she is, but with the way she seems to be unaware that you literally live with sae, you assume she must be some clueless freshman who happened to go to one of the football matches, saw sae, and became one of his many fans.)
“–but if you even consider the idea that sae might be into you–”
(you don’t even have to consider the idea, it pretty much solidified itself as a fact given with the way he kisses you until both of you are struggling to catch your breath whenever you two are alone.)
“–then you’ve got another thing coming,” she grabs your wrist, digging her nails into your skin. “i don’t know how someone like you got his number, but he doesn’t need freaks like you bothering him.”
she looks at you with contempt, “so stay away from him, or else–”
“or else what?”
you both turn your heads to the door. her grip on your wrist loosens. you bite back a laugh when she removes her hand, shyly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“sae,” she takes a step closer to him. you hide your smile behind your hand when you see his clearly annoyed and disgusted expression. (you note he looks disheveled. you also notice his duffel bag slung over his shoulders.)
“or else what?” you snort at the clear anger in his voice. he glares at her, crossing his arms. she shrinks into herself, clearly nervous.
“i was just trying to keep this freak away from you,” she plays with her hair. you feel embarrassed for her when she continues, “you shouldn’t have to deal with–”
“who the fuck even are you anyway?” he cuts her off, scowling.
her eyes light up, “i’m–”
“leaving? i sure fucking hope so.” he scoffs, walking over to you. his face softens when he looks at you.
sae extends his hand out to you, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips when you slip your hand into his. he reaches out for your backpack, quickly shrugging it on his shoulder before you can protest.
“i thought you were one of the first people out of class,” he hums, lacing his fingers with yours.
your eyes flicker to the girl, who is still standing next to the table, face flushed in embarrassment. “i got held up.”
sae glances in her direction, scoffing in annoyance. “you’re still here?”
you can’t help but feel a little bad for her when her eyes well up with tears of embarrassment, her hands bunching up her skirt. “i thought–”
“you thought wrong,” he clicks his tongue, “now get lost.”
her eyes snap to yours, anger replacing the embarrassment, “i thought you said he was nothing to you!”
sae gasps, looking at you, hurt written all over his face. you look away, biting the inside of your cheek. he calls out your name, “why’d you say that?”
“i didn’t know what else to say,” you mumble.
“say i’m your boyfriend!,” he huffs. “or do you not want to say that?”
heat floods your face. you hide your face in sae’s back when you hear choked sobs. you tug at his jacket, “can we just go home already?”
you take a peek at the girl from behind sae’s shoulder. “i don’t want to talk about this here.”
“fine,” he mutters, “but this conversation is not over.”
he drags you out of the classroom. you don’t look back, but you gnaw your bottom lip when you hear muffled sobs coming from behind you.
you both walk in silence for a bit. a small smile blooms on your lips when sae slows down his pace to match yours.
“i’m surprised you didn’t tell her off.” he hums.
“you got there before i could,” you fondly shake your head, “i would’ve loved giving her a piece of my mind.”
a soft laugh leaves his lips, “i’m sure you’ll find another occasion to do so.”
the walk home feels quicker than usual. you suppose it’s because sae’s actually with you instead of over the phone.
you’re barely past the door to your apartment when sae wraps his arms around you, pulling you close. he relaxes when you wrap your arms around him.
“if someone asks you what i am to you,” he nuzzles his face into your neck, “just tell them i’m your boyfriend.”
“are you sure?” your hands clench around his jacket.
he pulls back slightly to look at you, confusion written all over his face. “yeah? am i not your boyfriend already?”
“i don’t know?” your brows knit in confusion.
“i thought it was clear?” he blinks. “it wasn’t clear to you?”
“i don’t think i would’ve been threatened by one of your fangirls if it was clear,” you deadpan.
“oh.” he presses his lips into a fine line. “well, now you know.”
your jaw drops, “you’re not even going to ask if i want you to be my boyfriend?”
“i think it’s safe to say we’re well past asking,” he stares at you.
“still,” you pout, “it’d be nice if you did.”
“what, are you going to give me a sticker if i do?” he scoffs.
“i was gonna give you a kiss, but if you don’t wanna ask, then–”
“would you let me be your boyfriend?”
laughter spills out of your lips, “you didn’t even let me finish!”
“just answer my question.” he smiles. “and hurry it up too, i have to clean.”
you playfully shake your head, “so demanding. but, i suppose you can be my boyfriend.”
sae’s lips are on yours as soon as the words leave your mouth. you gasp in surprise when he nips at your lower lip.
you’re not sure how long he kisses you for, but you feel dizzy when you pull away. you angle your head away from his when he chases after your lips again.
“i thought,” you pant, “thought you said you had to clean.”
“it can wait.” he breathes out.
“i have to cook.”
he angles your head back to face him, “it can wait.”
“but–”
he calls out your name with a smile, “it can all wait. just let me kiss you again.”
“okay.” you smile when he tilts your head towards his.
you think you’re starting to understand sae’s obsession with kissing you.
when you think of itoshi sae, the first thing that comes to mind is: boyfriend. you’re not sure if you’re ever going to get used to calling him that. you’ve told him it still sounds weird, he simply says it sounds perfect.
you’re also not sure you’ll ever get used to the many pairs of eyes staring holes into the back of your head. (you blame sae for insisting you wear his spare jersey to his games.)
still, you suppose you could put up with all the staring if it means you get to see sae play.
(even if it means you have to endure his showing off for the next hour.)
“did you see how great i was out there?” he puffs out his chest.
“you were the best!” you smile when he laces his fingers with yours. “i think you deserve a reward.”
you bite back a laugh when his head turns to look at you, eyes twinkling with anticipation. “close your eyes.”
you can practically feel the excitement rolling off of him as he closes his eyes. you let go of his hand, snickering when his brows furrow. you quickly reach into your bag, pulling out the sticker sheet you stashed in there.
a laugh leaves your lips when you gingerly place a star sticker on sae’s cheek. “you can open your eyes now.”
you heartily laugh when sae touches his cheek, glaring at you when he feels the outline of a star. he huffs, “you’re the worst.”
“shut up, you love them.” you flick his forehead.
he tsks, poking your nose. “when you said i deserved a reward, i thought you meant a kiss.”
“i can kiss you if you want.” you cheekily smile at him. he huffs, crossing his arms.
he turns his head away from you, “you ruined the moment with those stupid, lukewarm stickers.”
“you say that as if you don’t stick them against your mirror.” you stick your tongue out at him, the corners of your lips lifting into a smile when his cheeks flush.
“i hate you,” he frowns, looking at you.
“no you don’t,” you peck his cheek.
“whatever,” he grumbles, “let’s just go home already.”
you laugh when he grabs your hand, tugging you in the direction of your apartment. (you don’t mention the smile on his lips.)
“i’m going to cook today,” he laughs when you groan in disgust. “i’ve gotten better!”
“yeah, right.” you quip. “i think it’d be better if you clean while i cook.”
“what if we cook together?” he hums.
“you’ll just get in my way.” you smile, laughing when he shakes your arm.
“what if we go out to eat?” he shrugs nonchalantly. (you still notice the flush on his ears.)
“itoshi sae!” you gasp dramatically, “are you asking me out on a date?”
he scoffs, cheeks turning bright red. “don’t make a big deal out of it.”
“i’d be honored to go out with the itoshi sae,” your voice drips with mischief. a soft gasp leaves your lips when he tugs you to him, wrapping his arms around you.
“i think it’s me who’s honored to go out with you,” he mumbles. you hug him back, nuzzling into him.
“we still need to head home, though,” he pulls away, “i want to take a shower.”
“want me to join you?” you laugh when you see his scandalized expression.
“you’re so shameless!” he bites back a laugh, hiding his face behind his hands.
“oh, please, like we haven’t showered together before.” you playfully scrunch your nose.
he clicks his tongue, “as tempting as it sounds, i really would like to go eat early today.”
you fondly roll your eyes, tugging him towards your apartment. “fine.”
“but i’m not opposed to taking a shower with you when we get back.” he bites back a smile when you smack his shoulder.
the walk home is filled with laughter, teasing smiles on both of your faces. and, for once, you’re glad to have an opinion of sae.
(especially because it’s based on the version of your sae, and not the one everyone else thinks he is.)
#i fear i am NEVER GOING TO BE FREE#OH I AM SO ILL#i fear i can no longer be set free#i fear ive cemented my legacy as a sae lover#bllk x reader#sae x reader#sae x you#bllk itoshi sae#itoshi sae x you#itoshi sae x reader#itoshi sae#bllk sae#bllk x you#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#bllk fluff#blue lock fluff#blue lock sae
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keep on
pairing: johnny x (f) reader
genre/warnings: smut, angst, non-idol au, fwb!johnny, alcohol consumption, mentions of addiction/alcoholicism, daddy issues, mommy issues, unprotexted sex (dont b silly wrap ur willy!)
summary: All things love and commitment are feared upon by you. You keep a tight crew and let few people in, cynical of other’s intentions and leaving a trail of broken hearts in your wake. If you break other people’s hearts first, they can’t break yours. And yet, it was all too easy falling for Johnny, digging yourself into a depthless hole of love. But he is no exception to your heartache games.
word count: 13.6k
a/n: this was a pretty quick write. inspired by keep on by kehlani, garden (say it like dat) by sza and off the table by ariana grande featuring the weeknd. have fun reading <3 feedback is appreciated!
Through the blurry lenses of your eyes, love was a synonym for heartbreak.
It happened everyday. People gave people their all and in return, they received nothing but brutal agony. You had seen it happen and experienced the heartache firsthand.
Like when your father left your mother. And thus, the baby they had brought into this world together. It stung like nothing else to watch what became of your mother, drowning her sorrows in liquor. She was never the same.
Perhaps she had passed her bad habits down to you. The apple never falls far from the tree, they say.
Irene’s house was your deemed safe haven for the night. It was Friday and you were having a girl’s night out, but given the gruesome work week everyone had, no one wanted to truly go out.
You strutted inside and collapsed against her island, dropping your purse on the surface. “Get me drunk,” you sighed, tired beyond imagination. Not to mention the text message creeping in your mind.
Yeri giggled and slid you a glass. She had already been drinking, you could tell. She got all bubbly when tipsy. She reached for a bottle, and said, “Irene’s getting the good shit. She’ll be right back.”
They got the bottles and poured the glasses. When they were empty, you didn’t hesitate to fill them up again. There was no doubt that the next morning would bring you a terrible hangover, though you wanted to drink like there was no tomorrow.
You wanted to forget everything. Forget men. Forget the way that they all hurt you. Fuck that, you didn’t even want to remember what hurt was or meant.
They were nothing but trouble.
As the hours ticked by, less and less of your sullenness was masked by your inebriety. It became evident that there was something plaguing your mind. You sat slumped on the couch, bitter.
Irene sat beside you when the coast was clear. The girls had either passed out or gone back home if they were sober enough. But you were seated on her sofa, reeking of depression.
“We can always talk about it, you know,” Irene said softly. She grabbed your hand and let you rest your head on her lap. “It might make you feel better to open up.”
You shook your head and quipped dryly, “And ruin your perfect girl’s night? I thought the point was to de-stress.”
Irene gave you a faint smile and patted your head gently. She was one of the few people who knew the extent of trauma you dealt with. Your every secret was kept under lock and key but she protected them with her whole heart. Irene cared for you, that was undeniable. All things considered, she was like a mother to you. But you depended on no one but yourself and you hated seeming weak. Even if you were.
Besides, there was a time and a place, and this was neither. Ranting about your daddy issues wasn’t the point of tonight. It was to clear your head. Nothing good came out of recalling the irreversible damage your father had inflicted upon your broken family.
I’m sorry. Let me make things right, the text you received read. It made you feel a fusion of emotion - anger, sadness, confusion, disgust. What he did, upping and leaving, was unforgivable. It was a sin.
He broke your family. There was nothing he could do or say to make things right, to mend the shattered pieces. If he wanted to leave then he should have stayed gone. He had no right to try to come and intrude years later. He didn’t get to pick and choose when he could be in your life.
Irene was firm when she told you, “I’m here for you whenever you need me. I know you like to think that you don’t need anyone, that opening up makes you vulnerable, but being vulnerable is okay. I’m not going to attack you for being human and having the feelings you push away.”
Right in the heart - that was where her words always hit you. Irene had a habit of always being right, even if the truth hurt. Even if you desperately wanted her to be wrong. And yet, she never was.
But your lips were sealed. It was too much. Irene could try and soothe you, but even she couldn’t always break you. She sighed, but had another solution.
Irene lifted your head off of her lap and stood, rummaging for her keys. You stared at her with confusion. “What are you doing?”
“I’m taking you to Johnny’s. No buts. If there’s anyone that can get you to open up, it’s him, and the very last thing that you need to be in this state is alone.”
Your eyes flickered with shock. It wouldn’t be the first time that a drunk you had been dropped off at his doorstep - and it more than likely wouldn’t be the last - but you always woke up penitent the next day.
Johnny didn’t deserve that. He deserved better than you.
“But…”
“Ah, ah, ah - I said no ‘but’s,” Irene wielded her dismissive weapon of a finger. Her motherly instincts were kicking in and it meant that her decision was final. “Let’s go.”
With no other option, you followed Irene to her car with a slight stumble in your walk. Given they lived in the same neighborhood, you were at Johnny’s place in a blink. For some reason, you felt nervous. That was how you always felt around Johnny, even if you knew deep down that you had nothing to worry about.
He keeps on taking me in, you thought somberly. He’s nice to me. Even when I don’t deserve it. And I don’t know why.
If you were sober, you might have felt more guilty. Scratch that, you would have felt like nothing short of a villain. And maybe you were. Maybe you were the bad guy, the wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing.
But that was because you couldn’t help but think everyone else was out to get you. Whatever much excuse you could bring yourself to give.
Irene walked you up to Johnny’s doorstep and rang the doorbell. It was late at night and Johnny liked his rest, but he was wide awake when he came to answer the door. And his entire expression changed when his eyes fell on you.
Johnny had seen you too many times too many in this state and just enough to know when you had spent the past few hours maintaining your friendship with alcohol. It was much more effort than you were putting into yours.
Irene squeaked in her soft voice, “Hi.”
He looked stone cold. It made your stomach twist, just a little. Although you knew Johnny was the warmest person there was. He stifled a sigh and said, “Come on, y/n.”
You shuffled right past him and through the doorway. By now it was routine, yet Johnny thought he would never get used to seeing you this way. He tried to help you, tried to get you to break out of your bad habits. And you were genuinely improving. For you to relapse out of the blue meant that you had been triggered.
When the coast was clear, Johnny shot Irene a glare, and snapped, “Why would you let this happen?”
Irene kept a straight face and took his harsh words in stride. If Johnny lashed out at her, she understood. It wasn’t easy dealing with you, loving you, and she could only imagine what it was like to be in love with you. “I know you’re stressed, but don’t antagonize me for her actions, Johnny. I can’t control what she does.”
“No, but you can enable her. And that’s exactly what you do,” Johnny barked.
“She’s one of my closest friends!” Irene shouted, tears brimming in her eyes. “I would never do anything to hurt her. All I want to do is help her. I’ve been trying. Trust me. I’ve been trying so hard, Johnny. But you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.”
Irene never cried. Much less in front of men. She was too busy being strong for everyone else to let herself be weak. She deserved to lash out, too. Being the calm friend, the responsible one, was hard. And she felt like she only got closer and closer to losing you everyday.
Johnny simmered down once he realized that she was right. All of this was unwarranted. He knew that doing this for you over and over again was only hurting the both of you, and everyone you loved, but he loved you too goddamn much to let you go.
It was frustrating. It made him angry - loving you. Being in love with you. Hearing his heart call out your name. And watching you use him just to dispose of him when you were done like he was some replaceable toy. What made him even more upset was that you were showing progress, and he thought that maybe something good could finally come out of it. Now he had to watch it all go down the drain.
Johnny rubbed his temple and sighed out, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Irene took a deep breath and exhaled. Johnny knew it wasn’t like her to lose her sense like that, but as long as you were hurting, so was she. “Just take care of her. Please. That’s all I ask.”
Johnny gave a nod of head and turned around. He was about to go inside and check up on you when he heard Irene call his name again.
“Please be patient with her. She’s trying.”
She loves you. Irene didn’t say it, but it was clear as day. Written all over her face, swimming in her dark eyes.
He nodded again, more reluctant this time, then pushed his door open and came inside the house. Glancing around, he didn’t spot you nearby. He called out your name, and when you responded, the sound of your voice led him upstairs to his bedroom.
You were now wearing one of his t-shirts, but it looked more like it was wearing you. Things had been like that since you were in high school. He towered over you with the skies above and yet he was filled of nothing but adoration. The memories of you wearing his clothes almost made him break into a smile. Almost.
Instead, Johnny sat down beside you and said, “Are you gonna tell me what happened now or in the morning?”
You frowned. People always wanted to talk, as if talking would make all your problems magically disappear. All you wanted to do was forget that they existed for as long as you could.
Without saying a word, you unlocked your phone, went to your messages, and handed it to him. Johnny gave you a confused glance, but read the text nonetheless. It was from an unsaved number, but the contents of the message gave away everything he needed to know. Clearly, it was from no one other than your father.
“Shit,” Johnny said, more to himself than anything else.
You pushed your knees to your chest and wrapped your arms around your legs. “Yeah. Apparently he wants to make up for leaving his daughter and her mother when she was a toddler and driving the woman he used to love into substance abuse. Funny, right?”
Johnny sighed. No wonder you were beginning to sink back into your old ways. This was a trigger and you knew nothing else.
“How’d he even get your number?”
“My mother’s rash decisions or my cousin’s spite for me, who knows,” you shrugged, chuckling. Family reunions weren’t your favorite. At some point of becoming fed up with your family fiascos, you stopped attending. There was no way that you would see your evil cousin, your old-fashioned grandparents, aunts, and uncles, or even your mother. The only thing she and you shared was resent for your father, but you weren’t sure what she was capable of when drunk.
Johnny frowned. As much as it hurt to see you like this, he understood why you reacted the way you did. He was your best friend and your lover and knew you better than you knew yourself. He knew every bit of your trauma, down to the rawest detail - your childhood, all of the boys you once loved that weren’t him.
Part of him wished that you had given your heart to him first. He would have guarded it with a sword and fought off dragons for you. Instead, the boys you trusted handled it carelessly and shattered it into pieces. Now it was much harder to salvage what was left of it.
Johnny pulled you into his arms. He was angry. Angry at your father, angry at the world, even angry at you. But he wanted to be there for you, even if you took advantage of his kindness. When you felt his hands around you, you wept into his shoulder. He smoothed the palm of his hand against your back, and whispered soothingly into your ear, “It’s okay. Let it all out.”
You wept and wept, until you had no tears left to cry. God, you hated crying in front of other people. You hated being vulnerable, but it came naturally when you were with Johnny. Ever since you became friends in high school. And though Johnny never made a move to hurt you, he could have. That was the part you hated. Being vulnerable to someone meant trusting them not to hurt you the way everyone else had.
When you were done, you pulled away and noticed the damp patch on Johnny’s shirt. “Sorry,” you croaked.
“Shirts can dry,” he reminded, and lifted it above his head. “Let’s go to bed. You can talk to me in the morning when you’re sober.”
You nodded, then climbed into bed with him. To say that you hadn’t been in this position before would have been a lie, but you liked being so close to Johnny. He was your refuge from the world that liked to throw knives at you. And when you bled, he was always there to tend to your bloody scars. He made you feel safe, and that scared you more than anything.
Johnny kissed your forehead. “Goodnight.”
Heat flared in your cheeks. Safe didn’t even scratch the surface of how Johnny made you feel, but it would have to for now. You weren’t ready to unpack your feelings for Johnny. You weren’t ready to confront them.
“Goodnight, Johnny.”
Even in the dark, you saw Johnny smile. And beneath it he hid the storms of emotion induced by you that were killing him softly.
Between the pain of knowing Johnny was hurting because of you and the pain of your hangover, you couldn’t tell what hurt more.
It was a well-practiced routine. You woke up with a splitting headache, a bottle of water and Aspirin waiting for you on his bedside, and sometimes Johnny would be tucked into the sheets next to you. When he wasn’t, he was downstairs making breakfast.
And when you woke up, taking in your surroundings and realizing they were nothing like your bedroom, the regret settled in. You’re so fucking selfish, you chastised to yourself. Johnny was in love with you. That was positively the only reason he put up with your bullshit, but he deserved better.
And you were trying to give him better, to be the one that he needed. Given your habits of sleeping around to ignore the weight tugging at your chest when you thought of Johnny and drinking away your problems, you were trying to stop. Instead of drinking, you ranted to Irene or Johnny. Instead of finding someone to toy with for a night, you tried to be a good friend to Johnny.
It worked. Even the rest of your friends caught on to how much better and healthier you seemed. Then, your dad sent that stupid text and your whole world went crashing down. You didn’t know what to do. You were torn. Ripped and shredded to fucking pieces.
Maybe it was time Johnny accepted that he deserved someone better than you. For his own sake. You were a tainter that ruined everything you touched and rotted it to the core.
You popped the Aspirin and came downstairs. Johnny wasn’t there when you woke up, but judging from the delicious scent wafting through the air, he was downstairs cooking.
“Morning,” you whispered, sitting at the island.
Johnny shot you a glance over his shoulder and tended back to the stove. He was making pancakes. “If it isn’t Sleeping Beauty.”
You blushed and tried to hide it, asking coyly, “Momma’s recipe?”
“You know it.”
That made you crack a soft smile. He was right - you did know. Part of you envied the relationship Johnny had with his parents: strong and healthy. That would never be you. You didn’t remember the last time you spoke to your mother and your father was self-explanatory.
You shook your head, and hopefully the thought away. It was too early. Instead, you focused on Johnny. He was still half-naked, and you caught yourself gazing at the details of his bare back. Damn, did he look good.
Then, you watched him cook, subconsciously trailing off into your own head again. I don’t deserve him. He went above and beyond for you, from making you breakfast to even letting you inside in the first place. He held you and listened to your rants and tried his best to aid you, but you threw that all away. And yet, here he was.
When Johnny was finished cooking, he fixed you both plates and sat across from you. Apart from giving him your gratitude, the two of you ate in silence. After a while, he commented, “I thought you weren’t drinking anymore.”
You stared at your plate, refusing to look Johnny in his eyes. That would kill you - seeing the pain submerged in his eyes staring back in you. It was obvious that you didn’t want to have this conversation, preferring to leave words left unsaid. What you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you.
Maybe you already knew and you were trying your hardest to ignore it.
“Old habits die hard,” you murmured, fiddling with your knife and fork.
Your relationship with alcohol was typical. Although you weren’t addicted, it was still unhealthy. For the most part, when you drank, it was to forget about the feelings and thoughts plaguing your heart and mind. Escapism was your go-to coping mechanism. You weren’t strong enough to confront your problems head-on.
“You can’t keep doing this.” We can’t keep doing this.
“I know.”
Johnny sighed. “What’s on your mind?”
You bit your lip. Of course, Johnny could tell when there was something troubling you. There was no hiding from him. He was the only one capable of coaxing you of an answer.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shown up here unannounced expecting you to take care of me.” Just like you always do.
Johnny was quick. “It wasn’t unannounced. Irene texted me.”
“That’s not the point and you know it,” you said, finally looking up at him. The expression he sported was grim. It hurt to see the way he looked at you, but you knew that you didn’t deserve his beautiful smile. 
He sighed and glanced off, almost looking offended. “Then, what is your point?”
You shook your head. You weren’t ready to have this conversation and you doubted that you ever would be. “Forget it.”
“No. Talk to me. I just hate when you freeze me out,” Johnny urged swiftly. He hated it more than anything else. All he wanted was your love, but he was quick to realize that it was hard to thaw your frozen heart out.
Eyes drifting back to your plate, you shook your head and whispered, “I didn’t know what else to do.”
Johnny softened up. For fucks sake, you were impossible, but he had too much sympathy for you. He understood why you acted the way you did, even if that didn’t ease the pain or validate your behavior. Most of all, he didn’t want you to follow your mother’s footsteps and become the person you swore you’d never be.
Last night hurt him, too. Patient was all he had ever been with you. He had been patient with you for at least ten years. He was so sick of waiting, but it was safe to say that no matter what, you would be his first and last love.
When the room got quiet, you spoke up again in a little voice, “He texted me Thursday night. I still haven’t responded. I don’t know what to do anymore, Johnny.”
“Do what you wanna do,” he told you, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s up to you. You don’t have to forgive him. You don’t even gotta respond. What he did was fucked up and he shouldn’t expect you to give in easily. But whatever you choose to do, your first priority should be letting go.”
Letting go. Easier said than done. All your life, letting go had never been your forte. Part of you was still scarred by your past lovers. Grudges ruined your life.
There were reasons why you came out this way. Of course, part of it stemmed from your childhood, though not everything and your identity was intricately layered.
In high school, you fell for Lee Jeno. He was the sweetest boy that you’d ever met - or at least you thought he was - and he almost instantly swept you off your feet. Jeno had all the girls swooning and the fact that he chose you made you feel a special type of bliss. Until you found him making out with a cheerleader in the locker room.
Then, in college, you decided to give romance a second try. It was Osaki Shotaro’s turn to break your heart. You remembered like it was yesterday and it was all so sudden. Out of the blue, Shotaro broke up with you and told you that he wasn’t in love with you anymore. He left you for another woman. You couldn’t imagine how many times he had been with her all while being with you. It made you sick to your stomach.
After that, you were scarred for life, scared shitless of love. Boys proved time and time again without fail that their only intention was to treat your fragile heart like dirt on the bottom of their shoes. They walked all over it, taking advantage of your blind love. Fed you lies and empty promises of forever.
That was why you kept your heart guarded and under lock and key. You intentionally kept your relationships short and discardable - no strings attached. You didn’t want to trust anyone else with your heart. They threw it in the middle of a busy highway and now it was in traffic.
Trust issues, they called it. Issues - that was your forte. And you had a variety. Trust issues, abandonment issues, daddy issues, commitment issues. Whatever the label slapped on them, they all controlled every moment of your life.
Johnny added, “I know that’s easier said than done, but promise me you’ll try. Will you?”
You nodded your head and fought back tears. Weak was the word you used to describe yourself in your head. It was far too easy to break you. “I’ll try, I promise. But I don’t know if I can do it.”
“I believe in you,” Johnny whispered, voice soft yet powerful. You were convinced that he had too much faith in you. Never had anyone believed in you this much. Never had anyone loved you the way that Johnny did and you didn’t know how to accept it.
Your heart was at constant war, unable to choose between two stances. Johnny wasn’t like the other men once in your life. Or maybe he was, yet hid it well. Maybe he was waiting for you to trust him to break your heart.
Both of you finished eating and changed the subject. It was a relief. Johnny hated making things awkward and you were grateful for that.
After a while, Johnny drove you back home. You hated leaving and Johnny hated watching you go, but he couldn’t say he wasn’t used to this cycle. You stood at your doorstep and said, “Thanks for breakfast.”
Johnny nodded. “Any time. When will I see you again?”
He liked seeing you. Just not after a long night of you disregarding your troubles with sex and alcohol.
“My schedule’s packed Monday through Friday, but maybe one of those nights,” you said. Often you found yourself making time for Johnny when there was none. And in return, he did the same. He showed you a good time and to your definition, that meant a night of relieving pent up stress. “If not, I’ll see you this weekend.”
“Okay,” Johnny nodded again. “Later, alligator.”
Before he could leave, you leaned on the tip of your toes and smashed your lips against his. Johnny seemed genuinely caught off-guard, but he wasted no time in kissing you back, stealing your every last breath like there was no tomorrow. You liked kissing Johnny. Apart from the warm feeling boiling in your chest whenever he pressed his lips to yours, he was just so damn good at making you feel like you were on a cloud.
You pulled back and caught your breath, smiling. “After a while, crocodile.”
Johnny grinned and walked back to his car.
You didn’t see Johnny again until the following weekend.
Not that you didn’t speak. You and Johnny were inseparable and spoke everyday if you could, via texting or phone calls when there was no chance of seeing each other in person. You told him that you needed time to yourself and he both respected and encouraged your decision.
You were busy thinking - an upside of Johnny’s influence. Most of the time you hated being in your head and avoided it at all costs. It was a dangerous place to be, but you were trying harder to not disappoint him once more.
In that time, your father sent you another message. He wanted to meet up with you and was unyielding. The ball was in your court. You could agree to hear him out or you could block his number and pretend it never happened, but it was no easy decision.
Saturday approached far too leisurely. Uneventful days of work and pondering led to the date of your friends’ betrothal party.
With a very Yuta-esque spin to it. The event was casual through and through. The dress code was loose and neither party held good relationships with their family, meaning most of the guests were close friends. It was a pool party and everyone would be in the backyard.
When you caught up to Yuta and Winwin, you didn’t hesitate to ask, “Okay, I’ll bite. Who did it? Who popped the question?”
Yuta fought a smirk and shrugged blithely. “Guess.”
“Winwin?”
Winwin shook his head. “Nope. Contrary to popular belief, Yuta’s quite the romantic. In his own way, of course. He even crouched down on one knee.”
It was somewhat believable. The Yuta from before he met Winwin wasn’t the Yuta that stood before you now. He had seen the light and became a man of all things love and cheesy.
Still, you teased, “No way. Can’t believe the main hoe of the town is settling down. What happened to being non-monogamous buddies?”
“Shit changes,” Yuta said, sighing blissfully as he wrapped an arm around Winwin. Then, he teased back, “Besides, we both know it was either me and Winwin or you and Johnny next in fate’s line.”
You blushed and spluttered, “Where’d you get that idea from?”
Both boys laughed like you had told the funniest joke. You narrowed your eyes, and Winwin answered for his future husband, “I know I’m the latest addition to the gang and all, but even I can see the sparks between you and Johnny. There’s obviously something there. I don’t know why you haven’t acted on it.”
Yuta exchanged knowing glances with you. He probably understood you the best out of everyone present. Your life’s weren’t carbon copy’s of each other, but he had lived the closest thing to your trauma. You weren’t ready. For a while, neither was he, but if he could let go and move on, maybe so you could you.
“There’s been sparks since motherfucking junior high. It’s always been a given that you two like each other and you’ll get together one day in the future. I couldn’t see it any other way,” Yuta said.
That should have made you feel happy, but all you could feel was dread and regret fused with yearning. All of your friends could see you together, but you weren’t sure if you could give him that. How selfish of you to be the one holding the two of you back.
You should have told him to move on and let you go. Instead, you avoided confrontation for as long as possible, craving every moment of his love and attention until the flame went out. You didn’t want to give him all of you yet, but you didn’t want to give him away either. Losing Johnny meant that he would never be yours. Maybe that was what it would take for you to open your eyes.
New guests caught Winwin’s eye and he tugged on his fiancé’s arm. “We’ll catch up with you later, we have to greet the other guests. Come on, Yuta.”
“You go ahead, babe. I’ll be right behind you in a minute,” Yuta dismissed. Winwin only nodded and went to greet their guests. Then, Yuta turned to you and quietly asked, “Everything okay between you and Johnny?”
“It’s your engagement party. Don’t worry about us,” you sighed, searching for the bar through the corners of your eyes.
Yuta was quick to retort, “And you’re my friends. I can worry about you whenever I want. Now, what’s up?”
You bit your lip. This wasn’t the kind of conversation you had in the middle of a betrothal party, but Yuta was adamant. You thought about the last time you had seen Johnny, how you felt when you kissed him. God, you missed the feeling of his lips on yours. Whenever Johnny was near your side you wished that you could hit pause on time. It was funny how the most beautiful moments in life were the most short-lived ones.
Your voice was small when you said, “I’m not a good person, Yuta.”
Yuta glanced at you curiously, eyes urging you on. “What you do?”
“I let Johnny down. A couple of weeks ago I told him that I’d try to break out of my habits. And I was actually doing better. I stopped resorting to drinking whenever something inconvenienced me and finding one-night stands to forget about Johnny.”
Yuta nodded along. “And then?”
“And then, my dad texted me and said he wanted to make things right between us, and I didn’t know what else to do. I got drunk last Friday night and Irene took me to Johnny’s house. I don’t remember much, but I know I winded up telling him what happened and crying on his shoulder,” you chuckled sourly. “He made me breakfast the next morning and we talked about it. And I feel bad because he doesn’t deserve none of this shit. He deserves someone better.”
He deserves someone that isn’t afraid to love him.
“Are you gonna be that person?” Yuta questioned, tone genuine.
I want to be. You exhaled. You didn’t know the answer to that.
You blinked, feeling tears threatening to fall. “I don’t know. The worst part is he has so much faith in me when I’m not even sure about myself. He should have walked away a long time ago, but he’s still here, waiting for me.”
“He’s ready when you are. But you aren’t ready yet, are you?”
Shaking your head, you frowned. You were far from.
“Be better. Do better,” Yuta said assertively. “I know that’s harder than it sounds, but you gotta try. Figure that shit out with your dad. What you choose to do is none of my business, but you have to heal and let it go so that you can be a better person for yourself and for Johnny.”
“That’s practically what Johnny said.”
“Great minds think alike,” Yuta grinned.
You snickered. “You got engaged and got all wise and shit, huh?”
“You know the tale. My dad was a drunk and treated me and my Mom like shit. It was up to me to decide if I wanted to grow into him, or if I wanted to be better,” he spoke monotonously.
But you were scared. You wanted to do things the right way, but you weren’t certain if you knew how. “What if I mess up?”
Yuta didn’t hesitate. “The point of mistakes is to learn. We all fuck up once or twice. That way, you know what not to do so you don’t fuck up the third time. It sucks, but that’s the way life works. Don’t make the same mistake thrice.”
He spoke the gospel. Where your family lacked, you were at least glad to have supportive friends. They were kind and you knew at the end of the day, they were people you could confide in. Maybe you would do it more often.
“I won’t,” you told Yuta. You sounded firm.
“Good,” he replied, and scanned the crowd for Winwin. “Now I gotta go with Winwin before he beats my ass in front of everybody. You go find Johnny, alright?”
You nodded. That you would. It had been too long since you had heard his voice and felt his touch and you were craving a taste. With that, Yuta left to join his husband-to-be and you scanned the crowd for your own lover.
In an instant your eyes landed on Johnny and you could spot him in any crowd. He was at the edge of the pool talking to Ten, who you caught casting Johnny a wink before walking away once he noticed you coming over.
When you got there, you crouched down and sat next to him. “Hi.”
“Hey,” Johnny greeted, instinctively wrapping an arm around your waist. “You look great.”
You blushed. This morning you had deliberately chosen the sexiest bikini set in your wardrobe. It raised the stakes and given how addicted Johnny was to your body, your chances at getting laid tonight. “You look the best.”
Johnny was also half-naked, obviously. And damn did he look gorgeous. You bit your lip. You were thoroughly convinced that the gods themselves had sculpted him. His body was to die for and you were offering yourself up.
Johnny joked, “I won’t argue with that.”
You snickered and nudged his side.
“How was your work week?”
Johnny groaned and you immediately knew the answer to that question. “I’m stressed and exhausted. I need an outlet for my pent up frustration.”
“Oh?” you stammered, mouth suddenly dry.
“Yeah,” Johnny said. His hand ran up and down your back and he leaned to your side, whispering, “Good thing I have you, right?”
There was a crushing weight on your chest that made it difficult to breathe. Whenever Johnny was near you, the pressure came back, and it only got more intense when he did things like that. The effect he had on you was strong and he had you tingling with lust.
“Yeah,” you murmured back, trying hard to keep your cool and avoid appearing anything other than indifferent. But he could see right through you. “Good.”
“What about you?” Johnny pressed. “How was your week?”
“I don’t wanna think about it,” you grumbled.
Johnny was so close to you that you could feel the warmth of his body radiating your skin. Given the sunny weather, you were already hot, but something about this felt internal. It was like trying to breathe on the moon. Johnny parted his lips and suggested, “Kiss me until you forget about it.”
There was no need to tell you twice. You initiated the kiss, steering his lips to yours until they met with a clash. Johnny took control, arms still wrapped around you as he took passion to another level. It wasn’t long before you were sucking on each other’s tongues. You crawled into his lap for easier access, wanting to be as close to him as humanly possible.
Heat flared from your chest to Johnny’s and vice versa, spreading from bone to bone at the skin on skin contact. Whenever you made out, it was like you were floating in air or navigating through space with no gravity. His hands clung to your body and you were on a cloud, elevating and trying your hardest to refrain from grinding down on his crotch.
Johnny deepened the kiss, holding you tightly as possible and moving his mouth against yours fiercely. His heart was thundering against and threatening to leap out of the cage of his bare, burly chest. God, there was no greater pleasure than kissing you and feeling your warm body on his. But you both were putting all of your strength into resisting each other and it was too much. The feelings were overbearing.
When you both pulled away, you exhaled little breaths, hearts racing. You looked Johnny in his lustful eyes and heaved, “I like kissing you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. You taste good as hell,” you flirted.
“Mm,” Johnny hummed, nodding his head. He pulled you square to his chest, face hovering hardly inches over yours. You gulped, which undoubtedly didn’t go unnoticed. “What do I taste like?”
You pressed your palms to his naked chest, purring, “Strawberry champagne.”
“Yeah, you missed the bottle popping,” he chuckled. God knows you would have loved that.
Faking a pout, you replied, “Bummer. I was too busy trying on different bikinis.”
“You wear this all for me?” Johnny flirted, ever the intuitive man. Unbeknownst to you, he had been eyeing you from the moment you stepped onto the scene. And the second he laid eyes on you in your bright red bikini, he knew that he had to have his way with you.
“Especially for you. I know blue’s your favorite color, but red suits me better.”
“You make short work of supermodels in anything you wear,” Johnny growled. He was looking at you from head to toe, as if he were going to swallow you whole.
“You’re just saying that because you wanna have sex with me.”
Johnny wasted no time in shutting you down. “I’m saying it because it’s true. Sex would be a nice bonus, though.”
You laughed.
“Come swim with me,” Johnny said, gently sitting you back on the edge of the pool before coming to his feet.
You hesitated. “Won’t Yuta be upset we ditched him at his engagement party?”
“That wasn’t a question,” Johnny added, lowering his voice. Which definitely did unspeakable things to you. “And trust me - Yuta doesn’t give a flying fuck as long as we join in when it’s time to gather around and shit.”
That was true. It didn’t mean Yuta had unsophisticated tastes, he simply just didn’t care for rules and formalities - untraditional by any means. Winwin was the opposite. Conventional to a fault, he was a man of decorum and the party was a clear mix of both of their personalities. Somehow, they both made it work.
Ignore the pace of your heartbeat, you muttered, “Okay,” and sunk into the pool.
Johnny followed suit with a tiny splash, swimming to your side. Being in the water felt good, all things considered. It was cold and gave your brain - and body - a quick refresh.
“You know, this reminds me of high school,” he started, pensive. “When Joy threw that pool party on the first night of summer break, and Jaehyun pushed you into the pool as a joke.”
The memory made you roll your eyes. In high school you were nothing if not a bunch of stupid teenagers. “He’s lucky I didn’t let myself drown and have my Mom sue him for everything he’s worth. Now that I think about it, I should have. Every penny to his name. Mommy and Daddy Jung would have killed him.”
Johnny chuckled. “Oh for sure. He would have been taking the city bus instead of high-end luxury cars and gotten a job at the nearest McDonald’s like the rest of us.”
“Damn nepo baby,” you shook your head and sighed. “Gotta love him, though.”
“To be born into wealth,” Johnny sighed dramatically.
You giggled.
Moments later, a thought passed your mind. A memory - the beautiful kind. You fought a smile and asked, “You know what else happened at that party?”
Johnny gave you a long, hard cook. It was practically inscrutable and noncommittal. If he had any idea what you were referring to, the only thing that gave it away was the slight smile on his face for a mere fraction of a second.
Of course, he knew. How could he forget? It was easily one of the best moments of his life, made even better because it was spent underneath the moonlight with you.
He shrugged, feigning oblivion. “What happened?”
“We made out for the first time,” you reminded, voice little. “We were each other’s first kiss.”
The memory was anything but vague. The both of you were a little drunk, and somehow found yourselves in each other’s embrace. And then, in each other’s mouths. For someone who had never made out with anyone before, then-Johnny kissed you like royalty. With every intention to conquer your mind, heart, and body.
In that sense, you guessed he had been successful. Johnny lived rent-free in your mind and had built a little home both there and in your heart, with enough room for the both of you. Not to mention your body. You were counting down the seconds until you could get him in the sheets right now. In your attempts to keep him out, you had simultaneously been giving him access to the most vulnerable parts of you.
To say nothing of himself. Johnny wished he could turn back time. Part of him wished that he could undo meeting you and falling in love with you, because he was beginning to lose faith in the two of you. The other part of him loved you too goddamn much to even begin to imagine a world without you in it. It wouldn’t be worth living.
“I remember,” Johnny assured, finally letting himself smile. He couldn’t control it. “Wanna know what you tasted like?”
You squinted. “What?”
“Guess.”
You rolled your eyes and deadpanned, “Your mother’s chocolate chip cookies.”
Johnny’s laugh was mocking. “You wish.”
Whining, you said, “Tell me! I don’t remember.”
He gave in - though because he wanted to and not because you told him to - and replied, “Tequila.”
“The cheap kind?”
“Nope. I’m sure Jaehyun stole that from Mommy and Daddy Jung’s liquor stash,” he quipped.
You snickered. It was a relief that he was good at directing conversation. For a moment, you thought that it was going south. God knows the past was a sensitive subject.
Although he said nothing, Johnny couldn’t help but think about it. For years, he had been in love with you. He remembered meeting you like it was yesterday - you were the new kid in school and Johnny was the one kind enough to be your friend. He showed you around, ate lunch with you, studied with you, and introduced you to his friend group. In no time, you were best friends.
You were his first kiss. Johnny knew he wanted you that night. When he pressed his lips to yours and felt his body elevating into the clouds above, he knew.
Eventually you became a series of each other’s firsts. First kisses, first times, first loves. You had been vulnerable to each other in ways that you hadn’t with anyone else.
And you, you were multifaceted. Johnny had seen the rawest sides of you and fell hard and deep in love with each one - the beautiful and the ugly. All of those things made you fall for Johnny, too, but you noticed it a little later than he did, once it was too late. Which hindered his progress.
By the time you realized you were in love with Johnny, you had already given your heart to the wrong people. That was why you couldn’t comprehend how someone would ever be able to offer you their love, and mean it. That was why you trusted no one.
Forget being your first. Johnny wanted to be your last and as the clock ticked, his chances felt slimmer and slimmer.
You stared at his lips, not even attempting to hide the direction your eyes were searching. “I want strawberry champagne.”
Johnny tilted his head. He had x-ray vision when it came down to your intentions, though this game he wouldn’t mind playing along with. “Do you?”
When you nodded, Johnny took the bait and leaned in to kiss you. It was like magic. Every time felt as surreal as the first one. You just couldn’t believe that you were blessed enough to have him at your fingertips.
Johnny was the same. I love her. It was old news to almost everyone, though the realization hit Johnny the same way it had that night when he first tasted you. When he realized that you were the one and only love of his life.
Sucking on Johnny’s tongue and moaning into his mouth, soaking in all his little sounds was all you wanted to do. Maybe this was why Yuta said you and Johnny would be next in fate’s line. It would be a lie to say that you hadn’t dreamt of having your daddy walk you down the aisle to the man of your dreams.
Though if there was anything that you had learned, it was that fate was an evil lady and she had it out for you.
Johnny soon backed off. He hadn’t had his fill, but you were driving him crazy. And as much as he wanted to be a good friend to Yuta, the urge to drag you away for a fuck was growing stronger. He warned in a low tone, “We’ll miss the rest of the party if you keep kissing me.”
“What’s so bad about that?” you purred, leaning closer to his face. You could feel each other’s breath on your skin. “We can have a party of our own.”
To your credit, you were dangerously skilled at tempting Johnny. It made him feel bad to think that you practically already were having a party of your own. Both of you were surrounded by people, but to him, it felt like there was no one else around you. The sound of your voice and laughter had been drowning out the sound of the presence of people.
With the last of his restraint and self-control, he said, “Mm, that’s tempting. But no. Be a good girl and be patient.”
Immediately, you frowned, but didn’t dare disobey. Johnny would give you what you wanted sooner or later because you knew that he wanted you, too. And though you had your flaws, you weren’t terrible enough to dip in the middle of your friend’s betrothal party.
“Fine,” you said exasperatedly, peeling yourself off of him. “But you better make it up to me later.”
Johnny gave you one last kiss to placate you a little, then whispered softly in your ear, “Don’t I always?”
That he did.
For the better half of the evening, both of you decided to interact with other people, including the ones being celebrated. Most of the time you and Johnny were incapable of resisting each other, and with the thoughts plaguing your minds, there was no way on earth that you would survive side to side without breaking your agreement.
You had a fun time, but you were more than relieved when Winwin announced that he and Yuta wanted some alone time. Everyone said their goodbyes and you raced to Johnny’s side.
“My place or yours?”
“Mine’s closer. Meet you there?” Johnny asked, though he already knew you would. You were practically careening to your car the moment he got the words out.
“Meet you there!”
Both of you arrived in turn, with you slightly ahead of him. You didn’t even wait for him to pull into the driveway before you were rummaging through your purse for the extra key Johnny had bestowed upon you long ago.
It was game over once he stepped out of his car and you were only alone for a split second before he entered, wasting no time in backing you against a wall and stealing a kiss. Johnny always kissed you like it was the last time he would ever get the chance. There was something eager in the way that his mouth moved against yours. It was heated, unchaste. He kissed you so hard that it was impossible to keep up with his pace.
“Someone’s desperate,” you teased through shallow breaths. Johnny nibbled at your ear and you sighed, pitching your head back against the plaster.
He ribbed, breath tickling your neck, “You’d oughta know a thing or two about being desperate. Seeing as you got to my house before me.”
You rolled your eyes. “Shut up and kiss me.”
Under any other circumstances, Johnny would have teased you and made you wait before he kissed you again. Though seeing as he had been waiting too goddamn long for this moment, all he could do was cave.
Goddamn, his lips were soft. In contrast to the rough manner he handled your body. Everything was escalating too quickly and you were being dug into the wall by the weight of his body. There was so much tension in the room that you could hardly even breathe through it.
Johnny nudged his knee between your thighs and stuck his hand down your bottoms, the other roaming your body. “You’re so wet for me.”
“Do something about it,” you whined.
Johnny sneered. Part of him was half-tempted to tease the living hell out of you and see how much you could take. The other was losing hold of his heavy load of patience much more quickly than he would have liked.
“Wanna fuck in the shower to wash off the chlorine? Kill two birds with one stone.”
“Just don’t let me fall.”
He smiled. “I would never.”
Before you knew it, he was lifting you up in his arms like you weighed nothing. You squealed when you felt yourself being hauled into the air, locking your legs around his waist and resting your head on his shoulder. It felt too right being in his hold. As if it was supposed to be this way.
Maybe it was.
Johnny carried you to his bedroom and you clung to his chest for dear life. While he went in the bathroom to run the shower, you began to quickly peel off your clothes. You were on the threshold of insanity, bursting at the seams with lust.
When the water was hot, Johnny stepped into the shower and you followed suit. As soon as your feet hit the non-skid shower mat Johnny shoved you against the wall, and the noise you made was eaten by the force of his lips. Your palms rose to his wet chest and his mouth fell from yours to your collarbone, soft and plush against your skin.
He simply couldn’t stay away. He spread your thighs apart and slipped one of hands back between them, this time moving them inside of you. Much to your pleasure. “Johnny,” you whimpered, breathless.
The sound of your lips parting to emit his name was like music to his ears and a melody stuck in his head. Thoughts of you underneath him, crying out his name whilst taking his size kept him up late at night, wishing he could rewind time to feel you back in his arms again. Where you belonged. It took every bit of willpower he had not to beg you to stay.
“Think you’re ready for me?” Johnny asked, leering at you with the darkest gaze that made your stomach churn.
You nodded. Johnny was big, that was undeniable, but you had taken every inch of his ungodly combination of length and girth countless times before like a champ. It was almost nothing to you.
He removed his fingers from your cunt and before you got the chance to whine from the emptiness, your lips were widening to sigh at the feeling of his bare cock brushing against your folds. Every second felt like minutes and your patience was wearing more and more thin. You needed him and you needed him right now.
Then, Johnny finally pushed inside, taking his sweet time to fill you. You swallowed him in with ease, simultaneously sucking in the deepest breath you could take. His eyes fell on your chest, water trickling down the swell of your breasts as you inhaled and exhaled.
Maybe taking him wasn’t like nothing. You felt not an ounce of pain, but the pleasure of having him fill you to the uttermost was overwhelming. The stretch meant something.
The moment the head of his girth prodded your entrance Johnny had already felt you pulsing tightly around him and you only kept clenching the deeper he pushed inside. You raced to anchor yourself, clawing at his shoulders while he pushed you firmer against the wall and he caged you between his big arms.
Johnny kissed your neck, then growled, “So tight for me.”
“All for you,” you stammered through thick breaths. It was too hot to breathe. The water burned your skins and Johnny made you erupt in flames all over.
Johnny grinned smugly.
Through hooded eyes, you soaked in the sight of water cascading down his neck - where his muscles flexed - and chest. For the better half of your life, Johnny had been a presence, but you would never get used to how gorgeous he was. His beauty was so ethereal to the point that it felt forbidden to be able to touch him like this. He was sent from the heavens above, both a blessing and a curse to you and your body.
The chains of restraint that bounded him snapped and Johnny latched his mouth to your nipple, meriting an automatic sigh of pleasure from your lips. With how close he was, you wondered if he could feel the thud of your heartbeat. It was racing inside your chest, the feelings you had for him raining hail and begging for freedom. Your heart was bursting at the seams with your love for Johnny and it pleaded desperately for you to unlock its door.
“You’re so hot,” Johnny whispered, keeping himself occupied with your body. Your brain was going into autopilot.
From Johnny’s perspective, your body was a treasure, and he knew its map by heart. All of your weaknesses were on display in his mind and he could choose whichever one he wanted to use to his advantage. He knew what felt good and what felt earth-shattering, and judging from the way you throttled his cock, this was the latter.
Neither you or Johnny talked too much during sex. It was difficult to speak when you were being fucked divested of every little thought you possessed and your mouth was too busy producing other noises.
And all Johnny hoped was that his body could say everything that words could not.
He couldn’t think of anyone else when he was with you, and when you were with someone else, you were still thinking of Johnny. Given the amount of nights you had spent searching for one-night stands you were no stranger to sex, but Johnny made it feel different. The emotions were stronger and so was the yearning. The two of you fucked each other like you had never wanted anything so badly before in your lives.
Johnny struck you somewhere deep and you rasped, “Fuck, baby.”
Fuck, he felt good. Even though you were prone to running away, there was no doubt that you would find yourself coming back for more. Johnny was your home and your heart would always drag you back to him. He owned your body. Whatever he desired to do with you - to you - you would let him. At the end of the day, you were his. Whether he knew it and you accepted it or not.
It wasn’t a choice. It was a feeling.
Looking at the dazed expression on your face gave him deja vu. The first time Johnny had sex with you, he genuinely thought that his heart was going to burst out of his chest. He was nervous, but if anything, dedicated. He vowed to himself that he would learn the ways of your body and put your pleasure before his. Which he did.
It was college, months before you met your soon-to-be ex, and you were freshmen. Giving your virginity to one another was one of the most unsurprising things that you two had ever done. At least back then, you were thick as thieves and did everything together. Who better to give it to than the one you could always bet on?
He still remembered that night like it was yesterday. All of your friends were going to a party, but you snuck inside his dorm while his roommates were away. One thing led to another and soon you were writhing beneath him, calling out his name like it was the only word you knew.
His feelings for you only heightened.
Johnny could still remember how heartbroken he was when you got with another man again - and how angry he was when he broke your heart just like the last guy. The emotions were so prominent that he could still feel them now. How long would it take you to realize that the man meant for you was already right by your side?
Even if he wasn’t the perfect match for you, Johnny knew deep down that he could love you better, because he already had without even needing to be in a relationship with you. Maybe if those boys had treated you right, then he could have came to peace with the fact that fate wasn’t on his side and you weren’t meant to be. But watching you cry after other men treated you like nothing only fed his flame.
“You close, baby?” Johnny asked, aiming to take you over the edge. His number one goal was to drive you out of your mind.
You could only nod, willing yourself not to speak. The words that would have left your mouth if you did were unimaginable.
Johnny fucked you even harder, chasing relentlessly for your orgasms. And you were just as - if not more - eager. He fought a complacent simper as he admired the way you were maneuvering your hips against his, whimpering with every touch.
The look on his face made you run your tongue over your dry lips. Barely were you resisting the urge to smash your lips against his. That look alone made you want to milk him dry of everything he was worth.
As badly as you wanted to savor every last moment, you could feel it in your bones that your orgasm was approaching. Listening to the noises resounding throughout the bathroom was what finished you - the sounds of your moans and Johnny’s hips slapping into yours with every thrust drowning out that of the shower pouring down on you both. You convulsed with release, gripping Johnny’s biceps for dear life as you met your orgasm with a high-pitched cry of his name.
Johnny wasn’t too far behind you. He couldn’t even grunt at the feeling of your nails digging into his flesh - it was outweighed by that of the pleasure of you clenching tightly around him with orgasm. It triggered his own, and he held you bruisingly tight as he spilled inside you with the lowest groan he could muster.
“You okay?” Johnny asked the moment you both were in the clear to speak.
You nodded weakly. “Perfect.”
Johnny smiled.
The two of you actually showered once you had caught your breaths, occasionally interrupting the other with a kiss. When you got out of the shower and re-dressed, Johnny pinned you to his bedroom wall and enveloped your lips in the biggest kiss yet. It was noticeably different from the other kisses that you had shared as of late. They were lustful and impatient. This was slow and steady - like he wanted nothing more than to savor the very taste of you.
He pulled away and whispered adoringly, “I love you.”
Your brain immediately went into overdrive. Given that you were childhood best friends, of course you and Johnny had said that you’d loved each other before. That was indubitable and not to be questioned. But this was different. This was in the context of a post-sex I love you.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
Johnny bristled. “I do mean it. I love you.”
Sighing, you walked off to his bed. You weren’t ready to have this conversation.
He stared at you incredulously, and reminded, “I’m not them.”
It was obvious who them was. Your past lovers. The ones that had left you so heartbroken that you could no longer let anyone inside your glass heart.
You shook your head, voice small when you replied, “I don’t know that.”
Johnny was visibly offended and upset. “How can you say that?”
“I don’t want to fight, John,” you said, exhaling loudly. This had escalated far too quickly and everything was heading in the wrong direction. For as long as you could, you wanted to steer clear of this course. But deep down, you knew that it had been inevitable.
He ignored you, walking closer to you and pestering, “I need answers. Do you really think I don’t love you?”
“Johnny…”
He didn’t relent. “Answer me.”
Frustrated, you shouted, “I don’t know what to think, Johnny! I’m scared to trust people - you know this!”
“And do you think I deserve to be punished for that?” Johnny snapped, white-hot rage seeping through and his restraints falling loose. “You and I both know I’m not just ‘people.’ We’ve known each other longer than you knew them. I’ve been here with you, for you, for a goddamn eternity. When have I ever let you down, huh? Tell me!”
His tone made you flinch and you were given whiplash. Johnny rarely got upset and never did he ever yell at your face, even if you sometimes deserved it. He was patient with you. For him to finally snap meant that you had wounded him deeply.
“I’m scared,” you croaked, teary-eyed.
“Right, you’re scared,” Johnny groused, turning around and heaving a thick breath. “Forget it.”
Pain burned through your chest in flares much like the anger spreading like wildfire throughout Johnny’s. Goddamn, this hurt. Was love supposed to be so complicated? Was love supposed to ache like this?
It hurt so good to love Johnny.
You stood up and shook your head. “No,” you told him, demanding, “Get it off your chest. Everything you want to say to me - say it right damn now!”
It wasn’t for you. No, you knew that the following words to come out of his mouth were going to scar you indefinitely. It was for Johnny. You knew that he had been holding all of this back for a long time and now this was his chance to erupt his heart volcano.
Johnny stormed right back over and said, “You want me to be honest?”
You nodded, tears rolling down your cheeks. He deserved it. You deserve it. You treat him like shit.
“Fine. I’ll be honest,” he seethed. You gulped, bracing yourself for his words to come. “You wanna know something? You’re so fucking selfish. You’ve been breaking my heart just because you’re trying not to get yours broken.”
That was true. You had been sacrificing his feelings in an effort to preserve yours and it was a futile plan - Johnny had already crawled his way inside your heart, yet you were still trying to keep him out.
“You have too much pride to show people your scars and that’s why every time I get closer, you push me away. Because all you know how to do is run like a coward. That’s what you’ve resorted to your whole life because you don’t know any better. But you can’t hide.”
You bobbed your head, willing yourself not to speak. Both of you needed this.
Johnny’s voice got lower as he said, “You think you can hide, but you can’t. You can’t fucking drink all your problems away. You can’t fuck them away, either. You can’t keep running to me and using me to dry your goddamn tears every time you realize all your problems are still there!”
“Johnny…” you called out through tears. As true as his words were, they stung. And guilt was eating at you from the inside.
“No. You fucking asked for this shit,” Johnny snapped, scowling. “I’ve been nice to you and patient with you, but all you do is take me for granted. And it hurt when you said you didn’t think I loved you, because I could have stopped putting up with your bullshit and cut you off a long time ago - but I didn’t. You know why? Because I fucking love you. And walking away would hurt as much as it does to stay.”
You told him softly, “I love you, Johnny.”
“Do you love me enough to stay?”
The room got silent. Did you? You knew that you wanted to, but damn was it hard. You were just so goddamn scared of hurt and betrayal. You had been left before and it broke you. It shredded you to the tiniest of pieces. But Johnny made you feel complete and whole again.
“Answer me. So I know if it’s time we move on,” Johnny commanded, impatient. “Am I just some booty call to you?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what the hell are you saying?”
“That I need you!” you screamed, the tension getting to your head - and your heart. It was too goddamn much. “I can’t live without you, Johnny. I can’t. I won’t. I’m scared because I don’t want to lose what we have. Losing you would be like losing the other half of me.”
Johnny got in your face again, but instead of yelling at you, he smashed his lips against yours. Just like that, you were relieved of the burden of all your fears and worries. He absorbed them and kept them somewhere safe, just like he did with all of your other secrets.
He kissed you with an emotion that was unmistakable - love. So much love. Maybe you had been blind to it before, but you could see it all clearly now.
Johnny was in love with you. And you were in love with Johnny.
“You’ll never, ever lose me,” Johnny swore in your ear once he detached himself from your mouth. He wiped at your tears with his thumb. “I promise. You’ve got me for life, alright?”
With a couple nods of your head, you crashed into his chest. He wrapped his arms around you snugly, welcoming your touch. This was where you were meant to be.
“I’m sorry,” you apologized after a couple of moments. It didn’t undo the pain you had been inflicting upon him for years, but it was a starting point for something better.
Johnny held you closer and kissed your forehead, then whispered softly, “I forgive you.”
He shouldn’t have, though you were grateful that he did. If it weren’t for his tenderheartedness, you weren’t sure what you would do.
“Let me be yours,” you sang.
It was tempting. You were offering him everything he had ever wanted on a silver platter. Granted, it didn’t take much to satisfy him - all he wanted was you. But as much as he wanted you, he wanted the most authentic version of you.
“Not yet,” Johnny said. You gawked, but he finished before you could interject, “I want to be in a relationship with you, but you need to take care of yourself first. Start tackling your problems. For starters, figure out what you’re going to do about your dad. Okay?”
You exhaled a long breath, but eventually nodded. “Okay.”
Johnny fought a content smile. “I’ll support whatever decision you choose to make,” he assured, pulling you closer to his chest. Then, he glanced down and asked, “Now - are you gonna run away or are you gonna stay the night?”
“I’m going to confront my fears and stay with you,” you whispered, refusing to separate yourself from the warmth of his body. You weren’t sure how you had done it before in the past. Tonight had given you an epiphany.
“Atta girl,” Johnny praised and led you to his bed. You flopped to his side, snuggling to his chest. “I have to go to work in the morning. Promise me I’ll wake up to your pretty face for motivation.”
You giggled, your laughter ringing through his mind beautifully. “I’ll be there. I promise, baby.”
Johnny was beaming from ear to ear. God, you loved seeing him like this. Happy. And he was happy because of you.
He couldn’t wait to wake up beside you in the morning.
Given their engagement, Yuta and Winwin were to have plenty of parties and the betrothal party was only one of many. Today marked the day of the housewarming party.
Their engagement meant that their relationship had developed into something serious. With marriage rapidly approaching, they were certain that they wanted to spend every moment of their lives together. And thus, they decided to move in with each other.
Which was how their new home came to be.
Guests spread out and filled the house to its brim, most of the ones you didn’t recognize being associates of Sicheng. After a couple of hours, you got off of your feet and went to rest in the living room.
And when you saw two very familiar men approaching you, you knew that you would be doing anything but resting.
“Oh no.”
Jaehyun and Ten sang in harmony, “Oh, yes.”
Watching the two of them take seats beside you, you could only wonder what in tarnation they were up to. Jaehyun and Ten were individual wildfires all by themselves, so you weren’t sure if you were ready to face the aftermath of combining the pair. Part of you was certain something would blow up in flames.
Narrowing your eyes, you asked cautiously, “What do you two bloodthirsty leeches want?”
“Chill, babe. We just wanted to hang with our favorite friend,” Jaehyun said. Given the untamed smile on his face, you highly doubted that. Jeong Jaehyun was nothing if not sheer trouble. And his partner in crime, too.
Ten nodded his head in confirmation. “Right,” he smirked, then pointed to the cup beside you. “What’s that - Bacardi?”
“Ha, ha,” you responded, deadpan. “No, bitch. It’s water. Contrary to an oddly popular belief, I’m not an alcoholic.”
Jaehyun interjected, “Babe, I can’t tell the difference between you and an alcoholic. That’s a problem.”
“What he said. I can hear your liver screaming ‘Ten, help me. Help me. Please…’”
You snapped, “Did you guys just come over here to terrorize me or is there something meaningful you have to say?”
Jaehyun leaned and asked quietly, like he was telling you a top-notch secret, “It’s because of Johnny, right?”
You spluttered, “What?”
He smiled, adding, “Don’t worry - you can tell me. Your secret is safe with me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, enough of the bullshit. Fess up,” Ten groaned in your other ear. Meanwhile you were thinking of ways to remove yourself from the Jaehyun-Ten you were between. “Something happened between you and Johnny. Something good.”
It wasn’t a question. He was saying that something happened and he knew it - he just didn’t know what. Yet.
You bit your lip. “Why do you say that?”
“Johnny’s been doing better lately, too. He’s been smiling more and in a better mood recently,” Ten replied, a spark of something raw and tender in his voice. “I like seeing him this way. It feels like I got the old Johnny back.”
Jaehyun nodded, all of the signs of jokes and games gone from his eyes. His expression was nothing short of soulful. “Me, too. There’s clearly been a shift. And whatever happened between you two, I hope it doesn’t shift back. He’s in a good place right now and so are you.”
Johnny had been happier lately. Everywhere he went he stood like a tall beam of light, radiating energy and warmth. And you two technically weren’t even together yet.
There was no way in hell that you would mess that up again. True to your promise to Yuta, you wouldn’t make the same mistake thrice. You had learned from your wrongdoings and decided that you were going to treat Johnny’s heart the same way you wanted others to treat yours. With caution and hypervigilance.
He deserved to be loved. Every bit of him. And you loved him to pieces.
“I won’t mess it up,” you assured them, confident. You knew what you wanted. And though you were still scared to go after it, you were willing to face your fears for Johnny. “I swear.”
Ten and Jaehyun smiled contentedly and replied in sync, “Good.”
Across the house, Johnny was having a similar conversation with your friends. And you were none the wiser.
“Hey, tough guy!” Yeri called out, grabbing Johnny’s attention. If it weren’t for the fact that she had bestowed the nickname upon him ages ago and was hellbent on sticking to her guns, he would have kept walking. She folded her arms across her chest and said, “Let’s talk.”
Johnny flickered his eyes between Yeri and the woman beside her - Irene - and a terrible feeling settled in his chest. Reluctantly, he admitted lightheartedly, “I feel unsafe.”
Both women responded in unison, “Good.”
He brought his plastic cup from his lips, then asked, “What’s this about?”
“You and y/n,” Irene said, eyeing him suspiciously.
Yeri wasted no time. “Are you two dating?”
On cue, Johnny’s heart seemed to boom at the mere thought of being in a relationship with you. As much as he wanted to make you his that night and as terribly as he fought against his every irrational decision, it wasn’t convenient timing. He wanted you to heal before anything.
Johnny feigned indifference, replying honestly, “No, we’re not. Why?”
Irene sat on the couch nearby, glancing off pensively. “She’s been… better again. She told us that she wouldn’t be drinking again for a while and she’s been opening up to me more and I’m proud of her. I just thought that it might’ve had something to do with you. You’re one of the biggest influences in her life, you know?”
“Yeah.” Johnny nodded. “I know.”
“And considering you haven’t given me the side eye yet, I think you’ve been happier, too.”
Johnny chuckled.
Then, Yeri cut to the chase and warned aggressively, “Take care of her, Johnny. I trust you, but you know how she can get. And if you break her heart, so help me I will…”
Irene reached for her friend’s hand and quickly interjected, “Yeri, I think they’re gonna be okay.”
Gladly, Johnny thought so, too. Things were far from perfect, though they were still going well and he was simply content to see that you were giving the two of you a try. He was tired of giving more than he was receiving and he had faith that those days were coming to an end.
“We’re gonna be okay,” Johnny repeated, assuringly. He believed it. He believed in you and him together. “But I appreciate all of your concern.”
Arms still folded and eyes still narrowed, Yeri eased up and nodded. Content, she walked off.
Irene rose from the chair and gazed up at Johnny, whispering softly, “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being patient with her,” she replied, full of gratitude. Then - in an even tinier voice - she added, “And for doing what I couldn’t have done.”
Johnny said with no hesitation, “I would do anything for her.”
“I know. You’re strong.”
“So are you.”
Irene smiled. With that, she went to go meet back up with the rest of the girls.
Over the course of the following couple of weeks, you had been putting your all into becoming a better person. You kept to your word, steering clear of alcoholic beverages - more especially in mentally trying times - and you vented to your friends whenever necessary. They didn’t mind one bit. Anything was better than your typical methods of extreme self-destruction.
The passionless hook-ups came to an end, too. Johnny and you had never been exclusive, and though you weren’t yet together, it was impossible to do as much as imagine yourself with another person. Johnny’s touch was the only one that you wanted to feel on your body. You wanted to feel the way he poured his heart out to you whenever you had sex.
You wanted love. You wanted passion and fondness and intimacy.
And Johnny delivered.
After a while, you came to a decision about your father. One day, you chose to answer. In those that followed, you stalled to the best of your ability, still indecisively wavering over the option to meet him in person.
But the conversations, both through text and over the phone, swayed you. It broke you to hear his voice and vice versa. Talking to him for the first time in decades was life-changing.
That was how you ended up outside of a restaurant, fast forward some weeks later.
Johnny helped you out of his car, walking you to the front of the building. Your fingers were interwoven, and he let you clutch his hand when you felt nervous. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”
You nodded. Though you were sure, you were anxious. And you were grateful that he had so much power over you, to the point that his mere touch made you feel at ease again.
“I’m sure,” you said, clinging close to him.
“Breathe, baby,” Johnny whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to your neck. “I’ll be right outside waiting for you. Okay?”
Waiting for you. What would you do without him?
Instead of replying, you whirled around and stood on your tiptoes, kissing his lips. Johnny kissed you back with fervor, holding you like you would fall if he were to let you go.
Through your heavy breaths, both nerve-induced and from the breathlessness of making out with him, you confessed gently, “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Johnny replied without hesitation. It was a no-brainer. He loved you. So goddamn much. And that was exactly what you needed to hear. “Now go meet your old man.”
That was the last push you needed. You were standing on the threshold of a self-healing journey and that was what made you swing the gates open.
You approached the table your dad reserved. It must have been miles away, because when you got there, you couldn’t breathe.
Your father looked at you, face full of sincere emotion. He stared at you with so much awe, incredulous through and through. Tears threatened to fall from both of your eyes.
You croaked thickly, “Dad.”
“Princess,” he heaved back.
His arms were wide open and you raced in, desperate. The tears began to rain. You couldn’t even remember the last time that your father had held you. This is what you had been missing. During all those heartbreaking times, this is what you needed most.
Soon, he began to apologize profusely, voice bursting with shame and regret. There was absolutely no satisfactory explanation that he could offer you - you just needed to know that although he couldn’t take it back, he would do whatever it took to earn your forgiveness.
And once you reached closure, you were talking as if the past had never happened and he had always been there.
Your father looked at you and sighed - contentedly. He shook his head, all sullen when he stated, “You’re a woman now.”
You quipped, “And you’re an old man.”
Your father chuckled. He was adapting to your humor very quickly. Perhaps there was a reason why.
After a moment, he asked curiously, “That boy outside your boyfriend?”
“His name’s Johnny,” you smiled, teary-eyed, then confessed, “You should meet him some day.”
“Do you love him?”
There was not a bout of reluctance. “So much.”
“Then, I will.”
You beamed.
There was no holding you back, no reason not to say it proudly anymore. Johnny was yours and you were his. His heart would always belong to you and yours to him. That was the way it was supposed to be. Meant to be.
And some day, your Dad would be walking you down the aisle to the man of your dreams.
#johnny smut#nct 127 smut#nct smut#johnny suh x reader#nct imagines#johnny imagines#johnny suh smut#nct x reader#nct#nct scenarios
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I just reread your Language Barrier AU and the ballpoint where reader was pissed because these fuckers just couldn't help but talk like Zhongli-
MINCE YOUR WORDS.
IN ONE SENTENCE.
PREFERABLY 5 WORDS OR LESS.
EXPLAIN IT TO ME LIKE I'M RAZOR.
Argh, God. I'm getting mad just thinking about it. 😤 Imagine in a fight and these dudes just sttaight up blurted a fucking 5 book-length, hard bounded soliloquy- I cannot-
No, Venti, Kazuha. You cannot use Haikus-
No, Cyno, you cannot use jokes either- but that is debatable-
And Oh. My. God. I kept thinking about when fighting and y'all kept throwing words (like when using a skill) and I'm just here standing, bracing myself SO HARD trying not to laugh (also irl). And then maybe now and then some mistranslation on Reader's mind since they use JP VA since the start of Genshin (assuming they play?) are new to Teyvat's Language:
'One with the Floor!'
One with the what?
'Shake your ass, sir!'
Cue spitting tea-
(Sorry, that's just me mishearing things 💀) But like at those times, Reader is the one dying of laughter lol. Imagine them explaing to Beidou that they thought she said 'Power of the ending Hotdog' instead of 'Power that ended Haishan'.
Aight, imma just.. go.
*imma send this anonymously because im shy, but do know that I love bread 🥖
Also @2:20
For you 🤲🥨🍩🥧🥐all the bread for the superior ask, anon
I could definitely see myself saying "ONE SENTENCE. U HAVE TO RESPOND IN ONE SENTENCE ONLY." then they manage to still make it a whole 40 word sentence 💀
^^ Confused Bakugou gif is literally u being shocked bc u keep mishearing everyones bursts on the battlefield LMAO SHAKE UR ASS SIR THAT ONE TOOK ME TF OUT ANON
☆
"Speed of Bite!" (Keqing's Speed of Light lol)
"I will have whore her!" (Zhongli's I will have order 😭)
"Time for... Execution!" (Diluc's time for retribution lol)
...
You in the background like: 🧍♂️... tfs wrong with yall, u glitched??
◇
They're like, physically incapable of making your kind of simple blunt sentences
Like i think some people would get close: Albedo, Xinyan, Klee, Qiqi, Sayu (rlly likes it bc it lets them be lazier), Cyno (maybe at first but then he would like, explain for 10 min after every simple sentence what he meant like his jokes 😭), Hu Tao, Heizou, Lumine/Aether, Xiao (can kinda get close but he gets frustrated and then rants for 30 minutes lmao), Razor (holds the title for the closest to your simple speech,👏👏LMAO PPL ACCIDENTALLY THINKING HES A GOD)
♤
People who will never get it, not even if ur in battle & ur life depends on it LMAO:
Zhongli (he rlly wants to but habits over thousands of years r hard to break 🙏 rip), Yun Jin, Xingqiu, Kuni/Babygirl, Venti, Kazuha, Sucrose, Shenhe, Kokomi, Ei, Nahida (tho it was a valiant effort), Noelle, Alhaitham, Sara, Ningguang (she doesnt want to even try lol), Mona, Fischl, Jean, Ganyu, Eula, Barbara, Diluc + Kaeya (unsurpringly both of them are tied for being the worst attempts at speaking simply 💀, guess its just that fancy etiquette training, its too hard to break) 😔
♡
Yeah, ur pretty much begging the ppl who can get close to ur speech to constantly translate everyone else
Rest in peace traveler, theyre like the first person u turn to,
(Paimon is also kinda bad at speaking simply, closest shes gotten is when she demands food lol)
☆
Idk how good this was, but THANK U FOR THE ASK AGAIN I AM ALWAYS READY TO HEAR OTHERS MAKE MY BRAINROT WORSE OVER LANGUAGE GENSHIN <3
ALSO I CANT BELIEVE U SENT ME THAT CYNO JOKES VIDEO PLEASE ITS SO LONG IT WAS SO FUNNY I STILL HAVENT WATCHED THE FULL THING
Feel free to send another in whenever i love talking to yall ♡
Cheers,
🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
♡ the beloveds:
@karmawonders
✨️✨️✨️✨️💖✨️✨️✨️✨️
#my head is full of blunt language genshin isekai#i love any and all God!Reader stuff#i have a WHOLE fatass worldbuilding AU abt god reader being from another world#and falling into abyss and getting turned into an abyss god#lmk if thats ever interesting to anyone ever its kinda niche :/#genshin impact#ask box open#my asks#genshin sagau#sagau#genshin imagines#genshin sagau ideas#gender neutral reader#please send asks#taglist open!#aka the beloveds#dm me if interested#genshin isekai
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Please drop more stuff about Hiina and Mizu I literally love seeing ur OC x canon post 🥹🥹🎀
ookmhjdjaosodkvna absolutely I will always be willing to talk about them they are forever occupying my thoughts I have never ending ideas
(+ I am currently writing a fic for them so stay tuned bbgs :3)
this is all modern au stuff cause that's what I tend to write most, but I will absolutely post some canon stuff sooner or later :33
brief warning: nsfw, violence, mentions of character death, brief appearances from taigen
!! non sapphics dni !!
despite hiina's generally pink and pretty and harmless appearance she's fuckin SCARY. sure she watches mlp but that girl will not hesitate to beat the shit outta somebody for a good reason (looking at mizu funny)
hiina with her adult job (drawing freelance pony art) so she can make adult purchases (my little pony merch and more makeup)
whenever mizu feels like wearing makeup she'll get hiina to sit on her lap and do it for her with the excuse of "I can't do it by myself" even though she only ever wears smudged eyeliner
she absolutely just wants an excuse to have hiina on her lap looking all pretty and happy
hiina's not exactly a bimbo but boy is she an airhead. intelligent as hell academically with her straight As in high school but she lacks critical thinking skills. no thoughts behind those eyes.
that one girl in high school who's an absolute goddess and doesn't even belong on this planet she's so gorgeous and then her boyfriend (we've all witnessed this trope and now imagine it with miina)
mizu has incredibly infrequent periods and when she does rarely get it it's light work for her, light af and she has like the tiniest bit of cramping
whereas hiina has dysmenorrhea and has to be pretty much sectioned once a month because she cannot move from bed and dies
hiina always cries when mizu calls her dove because it reminds her of hana
mizu keeps forgetting about this and keeps calling her dove
mizu smells like victoria's secret perfume but that's only because hiina is 24/7 piling more onto herself and they're glued together so frequently it just rubs off on her
hiina being the southern doll that she is Constantly makes southern foods so mizu is immensely accustomed to cornpone and burgoo stew
again, hiina's southern blood means she says shit and makes NO sense, for example:
(during an argument) "you're so full of shit your eyes are brown" "hinnie my eyes are blue"
"I mean, she's pretty as a pumpkin but half as smart." "in my opinion pumpkins aren't that pretty"
"you're about as useful as a screen door on a submarine" "what does that even mean"
hiina very frequently talks about hana, so much so that mizu knows everything about her despite having never met her (mizu and hiina met literally a month after hana died)
mizu is so painfully lovely to hiina even when she's being a lil bit of a bitch, she's so helpful and hiina gets mad at her for it sometimes cause she doesn't feel like she deserves that kind of patience when she's manic
mizu came home from work one day to hiina setting fire to a frying pan trying to make eggs
hiina talks a big game but she's a little bitch she's like "you're getting it when we get home" and they get home and she's getting it
mizu calls hiina either mama, baby, doll or hinnie and hiina calls mizu either baby, lovebug, sweetpea or zuzu
they've broken up 3 times and hooked up high every time because they are whipped
hiina has the worst baby fever ever and it's CONSTANT. she is constantly talking about babies and mizu is getting sick of it cause she doesn't understand the appeal at all (doesn't mind the idea of it at all though)
hiina gets violent when she's upset and so does mizu, they buy new plates frequently cause they're always getting thrown
their entire apartment is pink, including almost everything in their kitchen and bathroom
their first argument was because mizu made herself a coffee in the morning forgetting it's part of hiina's routine and hiina was NOT happy that her routine got fucked up
silly goofy hiina fact uhm she has 6 horses called saki, willow, cassidy, bailey, beau, and whiskey she loves her babies
they're all mares except for whiskey who's a stallion, cassidy who's a filly and beau who's a colt (cassidy and beau being the fillies of whiskey and bailey)
mizu tops obviously but hiina certainly does try sometimes
pillow princess hiina is real, she is not gonna put in effort 90% of the time she's an angel she doesn't have to do that
mizu is canonically loud af but so is hiina and dorm walls are thin akemi keeps yelling at them
nothin' just them with their incredibly high sex drives
hiina and her absolute insane maternal instincts with her urge to be a mama and mizu indulging in her fantasies cause she loves her girl
#blue eye samurai#mizu blue eye samurai#bes#modern au#mizu x oc#oc x canon#rip hana you would've loved mizu
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hi clari!! do you happen to be interested in ballet at all? i’ve been doing ballet for years now and i’ve been curious if of your iterations of touya would let reader be a dancer, for example a dance major in college? it’s such a “cute and girly” thing that i think they might like it but at the same time i could see them getting jealous of any potential duets with other men or how “revealing” the uniforms are
but either way i’d love to know what majors you originally have each of them doing since most, if not all, of your stories have the reader doing college?
hope you’re doing well!! <33
hi anon!! <3 oooh i actually love ballet so much and i will forever regret talking my mom out of enrolling me in it when i was 8!!! EEE ehehe it’s funny u ask actually because once upon a time i was writing a ballet au with dabi! i dunno if i’ll ever finish it tho hahaha >.< so since all of my readers are already enrolled in university by the time they meet touya/dabi, there’s no way he’d be able to control what their major is; they already decided on it on their own and most are at least a year or two into their studies when they first meet him, so he isn’t able to decide what it is they’re studying (which means yes, they’d be forced to ‘allow’ her to continue her dance major! no matter how much they don’t like it! they won’t be changing programs simply because their overbearing, overprotective, over-possessive boyfriend doesn’t like it).
that being said, you’re 100% right! my touyas/dabis would be totally torn between loving it because it’s so beautiful and awe-inspiring (they’re totally enraptured—enchanted—when they watch her perform) and being extremely jealous that literally anyone else gets to see their girl in such beautiful costumes dancing such beautiful numbers and that anyone gets to fucking touch their girl at all. out of my three main iterations, touya-nii would be the worst with his possessiveness and would definitely demand she never dance a pas de deux with anyone (despite the fact that she wants to, that it’s good for her career + exposure, or that her grade depends on it. tnii is way too selfish to give a fuck about any of that, and he’d much rather she stay in the corps forever—in his mind, he’s like why would she ever need to be prima anyway? when she has me? when i can provide for her? etc.)
good question! so their majors are intentionally left vague so you, the real reader, can project whatever you’d like onto them! in my mind, they study art of some form (probably literature and/or film since that’s what i studied HAHAHA but i also love the idea of studying fine arts or dance like u said!!!), with the exception of bmb reader, who in my mind studies psychology. but again, feel free to imagine them studying whatever you’d like to! i hope you’re doing fabulous, sweetpea! <3 thank u for ur question!!!
#i love ballet so much i genuinely wish i could learn it#i was enrolled in adult classes two years ago but covid fucked it up#and now i just don't have the resources to re-enrol :((#but it's okay! i can appreciate it as an art form from afar <3#i buy tickets to our national ballet every year!!!#it's such a beautiful art form <3#ANYWAY HEHE#a v fun question!!! i could've written u a whole essay on this aaaah#pls have a fantastic tuesday lovie!!#stay safe n stay hydrated!! <3#touya nii universe#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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For the RS au can u say more abt Vanessa and gregory and y/n relations?
Love the idea of mixing up canon real steel storyline with gregory and y/n on the side :D
I have some ideas for them including freddy ^___^
(would it be cool if i make some drawings to like show this idea cuz idk whats canon yet lelel)
they r all so sillies :D
yesss!! id love to tell more
gregory and y/n:
they’re goofballs
they love making fun of each other, most of the time it’s gregory, especially after y/n loses a fight(which makes them annoyed but sometimes lightens their mood)
y/n is a very lenient parent, with barely any rules besides “just listen to what i say when i say it” and even if gregory doesn’t listen y/n doesn’t do much(tho likey/n would give him a punishment such as not letting him get candy or something)
y/n is more of a friend than a parent to gregory as in more relatable and has some of the same interests. likeee gregory idk would lose in a video game then tell that to y/n. instead of a parent just being like “that sucks but okay” y/n would be the type to try to beat the game for him or give tips on how to win it.
gregory is very independent so when he's sad he usually tries to deal with it on his own but y/n is trying to get him more comfortable with opening up to them. when gregory does come to them when he's sad, y/n will either silently hug him or get him a little snack to feel better
I bet they would do little pranks on random people and then run away giggling. or if gregory did a prank on someone and ran behind y/n to hide from the person, y/n would be like "wdymm my son would never ever do that!!!" then when the person goes awayyy y/n would ask what he did and if it was a funny prank they'd high five him
y/n and vanessa:
at first they’d see each other sometimes at the bot fighting places but never interact thoo after a while they’d eventually end up chatting
vanessa felt comfortable with y/n and genuinely thought of them as a good friend but was worried about glitch targeting them next so she kept her distance from time to time
vanessa acts a bit awkward at times around y/n because she has gotten more anxious since glitch started controlling her but y/n doesn't mind it
y/n would probably ask vanessa to join them somewhere but vanessa would always decline saying she has stuff to do
vanessa and gregory:
gregory doesn’t like vanessa…sometimes. he has mixed feelings about her because she acts normal but then the next time he sees her she seems unsettling.
gregory usually tries guiding or straight up telling y/n to get away from vanessa whenever he gets off vibes from her
he doesn't like talking to vanessa much and whenever he feels off vibes he straight up ignores her
vanessa, when she's not "unsettling", tries to talk to gregory and when she does act "unsettling" she doesn't talk to gregory and does notice how he tries to lead y/n away from her (btw what I mean by unsettling is that she's under glitch's control at that time)
OHMGM SPEAKING OF FREEDDY I WAS THINKING FOR A WHILE ABOUT THE POSSIBLE IDEA OF HIMM MAYBE REPLACING ZEUS OR BEING ONE OF THE CHAMPIONS AT THE STARFIRE ARENA becauseeeee i’m thinking of him obviously being gregory’a favorite. (imagine that one scene with max seeing zeus walking by BUT SWITCH IT WITH GLAMROCK FREDDY AND GREGORY) gregory would definitely have a bunch of magazines of freddy and beg y/n to go to his fights.
ALSO YES YES OFC ITS OKAY TO SHOW YOUR IDEA!!! i get very happy whenever i see ur drawings for ideas for this au so go all out!!!!!! :D
#real steel au#ask sillie#fnaf gregory#fnaf vanessa#fnaf glitchtrap#fnaf sb au#fnaf glamrock freddy#they are the silliest!!!#i just imagine gregory trying to tug y/n's shirt to drag them away from vanessa while y/n would be like HEYY sTOPP#THAT FREDDY IDEA THO I WANNA SHOW ONE PART OF HIS DESIGN LATER#BUTTTT I WANNA SEE UR IDEA WHEN U HAVE IT READY#LOVE SEEING UR DRAWINGS SMSM#AND I HOPE THESE ANSWERED YOUR QUESTION GOOD
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Human! Michael myers hcs (based on my au)
so i think human! michael prob ends up attracting a lot of girls, as seen in one of the movies a girl on the radio's actually attracted to him lol (it's cuz he's so "mysterious" so i'd think he'd have the same charm here)
i also think human michael had average grades in hs, like c's n all
alot of people think he's attractive, but are too intimidated to talk to him, and thinks it sucks he has no personality
if u think he talks here ur WRONGGG!!! i like to think he's selectively mute. but the chances he speaks to anyone is 0 to 0. (i'm sorry but it irks me when people make him speak)
tbh, i feel like michael doesn't rlly gaf abt his other family members or anyone at all in general hes kind of js in his little headspace
with laurie/cynthia he might disapprove of her having a bf, or he'll js not gaf.
he's aroace, he just doesn't know it. i like to think michael doesn't see gender and just sees people for what they are- meat and flesh but he doesn't terrorize him like his counterpart.
michael was probably compared to the other kids his age when he was younger, but didn't care
when he was younger, people thought he was a sociopath because of his lack of empathy and care for others. (he is)
he had therapy once, and that's how he met Dr. loomis. it didn't go well since he remained unresponsive. michael isn't all into the thought of telling a stranger ur problems lol
michael had no friends growing up, bc of how intimidating he came off, some kids also thought he was strange
people always thinks he's upset or mad at someone or something because of his facial expression 24/7 (it's his normal face)
he's autistic,,, he does fixate on people (otherwise known as his obsessions) that eventually transfers, his lack of empathy, the non verbalism
michael's very smart and strategic, generally speaking. he just doesn't present it around people as much so people think he's harmless or just dumb
when he was younger, he did hurt animals but it never reached to the extent of hurting people. he eventually grew out of it when he became a teenager
the only way he ever expressed himself as a child was because of his drawings as a kid. he used to draw disturbing things time to time though, because of his thoughts troubling him. it kind of served as an outlet or a physical manifestation of the things he thought
he does have dark thoughts/intrusive thoughts but doesn't act them out.
alike his counterpart, he probably did get thoughts about killing judith but like i said, didn't act them out!!
alot of people think michael's a cat person but personally i don't. generally speaking i think he doesn't like house pets at all, he thinks they're excess (too loud and too much work to take care of) however he wouldn't mind cats as much as dogs since they aren't as loud and occasionally clean themselves.
as a kid, he was left in a daycare, or occasionally judith had to watch after him, but she never did. he was left at a daycare sometimes because his parents would work so late.
he still doesn't like judith. even as adults they don't get along. he thinks she's annoying lol
i like to think his parents got him alot of clown themed toys, such as a jack in the box and etc bc they thought he liked clowns
michael used to use judith's and their mothers makeup for his drawings, or would go to judith's room to steal any crayons or coloring supplies she'd probably have.
michael's a stay at home guy, going out is too draining tbh :(
he doesn't like family dinners either. he's not very fond of his family (even as a kid)
when michael's older he becomes a mechanic.. i like to think it would js stay true to his counterpart with the coveralls n all, + i can't imagine him being a bigshot doctor or something. he js does something basic
he's very careless when it comes to his job, though. which is why his eye is still scarred lol
he has a huge pain tolerance though. he probably got hurt alot as a kid and can just brush it off. most he'll do in reaction to being wounded is getting irked because his actions are limited to an extent
michael's a very messy eater. even though he may be more civilized here, he won't hesitate to eat his food, hands on. (he knows how to use utensils, he just thinks it's tedious.)
that's it guys, lolsies!!! i have alot more to rant about him but this is all for now lolll
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hey what's up! i wanted to drop in and say ur mellonear fanfic was AMAZING. easily one of the best works in the tag 💕. please please tell me ur going to write more for them. i just can't get over the amount of detail you put into it... if u don't mind talking about it... i just want to know how ur mind works pretty please 🤲
who— can you guys pls come off anon i'm begging and crying!!!
anyway THANKS SO MUCH. here i was bitching and moaning to my friends that that piece didn't turn out as well as i would've liked. can think of 2 or 3 fics off the top of my head that i love way more. but i'm so glad you liked it <333
and sad to say i am, in fact, not writing more for them <\3 i feel like i've said everything i can say about them? i mean they have like 10 lines total together how much more could i possibly extrapolate sdkjflhsf. i'm not a huge au writer tbh i pretty much only like working within canon. but you'll be happy to know i do plan on writing another death note fic (an au one though, surprisingly). just not for meronia. not telling which pairing but. near is in it trust. obvi it'll have meronia subtext.
and thank you thank you for the compliment about the details even though >.< i thought i didn't put in nearly enough. literally read that semi-canon side story in its entirety and only put in 2 things from it. and one of the things i straight up plagiarized <3 but we're gonna say i just referenced it.
i think i mostly just wanted to focus on how like childish yet mysterious they were. imagine you're kira, a functional god, and these 2 kids are running around without your knowledge trying to thwart you. you don't know what they look like, what they know about you, what they are to each other, what their names are, etc. etc. (they also represent the two halves of your would-be lover but we're not gonna go there). at the end of the day, they don't even care that much about YOU, a god (because they already had their own and well. you killed him)!! i guess i wanted to further emphasize that the stakes (for catching/stopping kira), for near & mello, weren't that high. at least,, not as high as beating each other (SO romantic). it was as if it were, as i referenced, just a game to them!! but a game sort of rigged against them, favoring the wammy industrial complex ofc. (the house always wins wink wink). but also,, it's all very tragic in the sense that they really have no other way to look at things. just child soldier things yknow.
idk there was some insane untapped story-telling potential there in the canon. the set-up sort of gave near & mello their own godhood statuses and stripped kira of his own. if i were to rewrite part 2 of death note i'd either keep it all strictly in light's pov or keep it all strictly in theirs. it did a disservice to the story/characters, imo, by attempting to keep the same dynamic/pov going from part 1. i'm not gonna lie and say the 2nd part was as good as the 1st sorryyy. because they were somewhat misutilized i never even considered the (incestuous) implications until someone ;) started posting about them ofc. then i thought about how much their dynamic reflected my personal favorite pairing of all time (knowers know) so i kind of took some preconceived notions and applied them. actually i was originally writing fic for afore-not-mentioned pairing and i'm pretty sure i just used lines from that to get started lmao.
anyway that's all i got atm. if i think of more i wanna talk about i'll write more <3 thx again for the ask!! feel free to ask more ofc ;3
#meronia#nearmello#based on allat i bet you can guess which pairing it is. and no it's not lawlight 🙄 sdkjflshf. don't get me wrong i like it! but what hasn't#been said about them? also not sure i could make their dynamic incestuous that's kind of my thing here. i'm good but not that good LMAO#oh also another thing about the title. i wanted to do a play on “playing house” and incest. there was a line in there#dunno if it worked tho#“they have like 10 lines total together how much more could i say” sdkjf as if i'm not waxing poetic about k*rokura every second of the day#they met ONCE back in 2001 and had even fewer lines together#also if we are going to be so fr rn one of the actual big reasons i didn't ship them before was because i thought near was 12 💀#was SO shocked when i saw alex's art for the first time i was like. wow they are so bold for that#i sort of started shipping it before i even looked up their ages skdjfsf but legally no i didn't 😐#vivi.asks
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ALL OF UR "DERAILS" ARE COMPLETE GOLD IN MY EYES, I LOVE UR THOUGHTS AN IDEAS ABOUT THIS AU DONT EVER APOLOGIZE KING
and omg what u wrote about the corrupted!archons with their limited control and how they hold themself back how their mind and body are disconnected and how they want more of your light but the opacity is down and it feels like their wandering complete darkness with only alternate!creator
I also read this as the alternate creater is reader alternative btw
who do u think in this scenario would help the reader out, if where imagining this as an imposter reader scenario. I like to think that the wanderer or tighnari or maybe Lisa bc id feel like she'd read her books to figure out what's wrong with alternate!creator or why she feels like somethings off (thinking about that maybe alhaitham & cyno too)
speaking about this au, WHAT ABOUT THE TRAVELER AND PAIMON? I mean their the prime vessel so would they be fooled too? or would they help us? is this like a completely worse case scenario with no way out or is their any hope of saving teyvat and it's people?
- 🍄 (I'm sorry if I'm sending too much asks btw, also @ teddy anon sorry for taking ur prompt and running with it, I hope u get back here and talk more with us. also midas your ideas/writings are literally liquid gold their so good pls don't ever apologize for taking inspiration and thinking, I love everything you have brought into this conversation)
1) never apologize for sending asks this is the most fun i’ve had all week 2) rip teddy anon hope you enjoy how we’ve taken it 3) i will always apologize for thinking, it’s kinda my brand /hj
anyway:
i think that, as i said at… some point- that it depends on the fundamentals of the persons faith, at least in this au.
people like cyno, alhaitham, rosaria, candace….. maybe collei but definitely tighnari (don’t ask why there’s so many sumeru characters) are all people i can see praising and praying for the actions of their god. people who pray for the results and not the process, and people i think would be freest of the corruption and most likely to help the reader.
on the flip side, barbara, jean, nahida, and notably keqing would be lore susceptible. they pray for more direct things? almost? idk how to describe it but like- they’re more “please grant us wisdom” or “allow us the strength” or anything that directly relies on the alternate!god, and hence opening their heart to the alternates.
like i… i can’t put it into words quite well, but like- ningguang is one who prays for profits, ganyu is the one who prays for divine guidance, you know? and hence ganyu would fall quicker.
it’s obviously a spectrum, but those closer to the first groups side are more likely to break through and help the reader.
i think…. not solely for plot reasons, but definitely influenced enough by them that i’m mentioning it… kaeya falls solidly in the second group, whilst diluc is firmly in the first.
diluc is the one that prays for a good harvest, for high sales, for the patience to deal with the damned hard in his tavern. kaeya prays for strategic wisdom, for their guidance, for answers when he’s lost and confused and the acting grand master isn’t behaving like she should.
..hopefully that made at least some sense. i’m kinda just wingin it here.
re: the traveller…. i honestly think they’d be treated the same as the archons. if the archons are corrupted, they will be too if the archons are replaced, they will be too. due to the traveller’s relationship with both the archons and the creator, i think the alternate!creator’s hand is a bit forced there. same can be extended to paimon BUT you could have paimon escape since she can pop into a different dimension. and/or they can both live in the teapot as like. vigilantes. idk.
i think that if this were to be written (100% by somebody more knowledgeable about the catalogue than i am) then a pov from one of the archons would be incredibly necessary. either to showcase the sheer power the alternates hold, that they have replaced literal gods, or to shed light on why the archons act as they do, and maybe influence the reader(meta reader, not character reader) and their opinion on them. seeing a blank slate suddenly become full of life at the sight of their savior…. or the archons trapped in some cell, chained down and miserable, lamenting over their mistakes. how foolish they were to trust the one with eyes colder than iron and a grip nearly as strong. how foolish to pray when their soul cried to stop. how foolish, how foolish, how foolish.
and as they sit, maybe one of them begins to pray, unwillingly feeding into the beast that trapped them there.
“o holy creator, maker of light and extinguisher of darkness, the foundation of the earth… please, deliver us from this evil.”
the false god smiles.
WAIT WAIT WAIT ME FROM THE FUTURE HERE:
ADAM DIDNT KNOW HE WAS AN ALTERNATE.
WHAT IF THE FALSE GOD DOESNT KNOW EITHER?
#m1d : [chats]#m1d : [secrets]#🍄 anon#alternate!au#re: point three: i ramble so much without meaning to that i have no idea if i completely ignored some big point or implication you made.#that’s what that was meant to be. btw. just. so you knew.
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Hey hey!! I've been following you for a while now and I love your work sm aaa
Saw the event, I love soulmate au's 😩‼ as a gemini, may I request a gemini prompt + kaeya? Up to you who the enemy is, I trust you ^ ^
-🦚 @pavo-ocell-me
someday, one day (hc scenario)
penpal: omg hi !! im glad u love my work, i hope this is to ur liking 🙌
prompt: gemini the twins, enemy-lover soulmate au
pairing/s: kaeya x gn!reader
sypnosis: when you thought he was your enemy but is actually your lover.
includes: spoilers on diluc and kaeya's backstory, spoilers on genshin's official webtoon, violence, physical pain, burns, arguing, enthusiastic!diluc (pls take note that its canon that he USED to be like all the other pyro characters b4 his father's death.),
when you first met diluc, it felt like he was your knight in shining armor.
the first time you two met was when you accidentally fell down from your balcony after leaning too much on the railing and diluc managed to catch you bridal-style whilst he was on patrol around the city as a knight.
it truly was romantic– and a near-death experience for you.
so when you found out that his name is imprinted on your wrist, you felt ecstatic, and so did he.
since then, you two were known as the youngest soulmates who had found each other in mondstadt, people admiring your relationship with envy and happiness.
of course, you and diluc were a happy couple. although you would be lying if you said diluc is overall your type, you managed to find yourself falling in love with the man.
when crepus, diluc's father, found out about diluc's once-in-a-lifetime moment, he simply laughs and pats you and his son by your backs with a proud smile.
"by the time my son turns 18, we better make arrangements of your wedding! it's a ragnvindr tradition, after all." he comments eagerly. you honestly weren't sure if the man was joking or not.
it didn't take long before you meet his dear brother, kaeya.
when you find out his brother's name is the same as the one that's imprinted on your other wrist, being surprised is far from your reaction.
"don't worry about it, y/n." diluc reassures you one night as the two of you stroll around the city together. "i'll make sure nothing will go wrong between you and my brother. besides, you always have me, right?"
if diluc hadn't tried what he said, perhaps things would've gone differently than now.
in fear of being enemies with your future brother-in-law, you decided to avoid kaeya like a plague, giving the young man apologetic looks whenever you walk away from his presence.
as much as you're avoiding the man, you couldn't imagine hating on kaeya. every night, you always think of what can make kaeya your enemy. what is there to hate him? he's funny, chivalrous, everything that screams your type of men.
wait.. type?
your heart drops from the moment you started thinking romantic things about diluc's brother, looking behind you to see your soulmate sleeping soundly with a frown plastered on your face.
is diluc really your lover?
doubts started to cross your mind. what if diluc isn't your soulmate? what is there to prove that kaeya is your enemy? are you just overthinking things?
"i can't think about this." you murmured to yourself, pulling up your comforter before laying back down on your bed and try to fall asleep.
"i have a wedding to worry about next year."
just as you said, you did try not to think about the possibilities you have with the two brothers, distracting yourself with tasks and dates with your lover, who's quite oblivious to your problems going on inside your head.
unnoticed by you, you weren't the only one who has been burdened with your thoughts.
by the time diluc's birthday has arrived, the two of you started to get excited from your future wedding, excited to finally marry each other after years of spending your adolescence together.
you didn't expect an inconvenience during diluc and crepus's trip.
you didn't expect crepus trying to save diluc from a monster using something that no one but snezhnaya has ever heard of.
you didn't expect crepus asking diluc to put him out of his misery.
you didn't expect diluc to come strolling back to your shared home with blood stained in his clothing at a late hour.
you never, ever, expected your lover to fight his own brother when he took a visit.
and you did not expect your lover to plan on leaving you and everyone.
"what do you mean you're... you're leaving?" you ask in disbelief, staring at diluc as though he has two heads. "can't i go with you–?"
"no, this journey will be too dangerous for you–"
"this applies to you as well! you're not an immortal or some god–"
"i can do this on my own, y/n." he says with his eyes narrowed. you couldn't help but scoff in disbelief. this isn't the diluc you know and loved.
"but diluc.. isn't this too much? your father... i know crepus's death is too much but, why can't you stay?" you whispered, cupping his cheeks. "what about our wedding? the life you and i planned after your bi–"
"my father died and you're seriously thinking about our wedding?!" diluc forces your hands away from his face, glaring at you. "why can't you understand that i'm trying to find out the truth on this delusion–"
"i do understand!" you yelled out. "i do understand that you want to do this for him but what about monstadt? the knights? what about your brother–"
"HE'S NOT MY BROTHER!" he yelled, lashing out at you as you screamed in surprise when you saw fire in front of you, immediately covering your face with your arms out of reflex.
you didn't notice how your lover's eyes widens on what he did,
you couldn't notice him, not when you're too focused on the huge burns on your arms.
"oh my god..." diluc murmurs, slowly taking a few steps back as he takes a look of what he did, ignoring the sudden presence of adelaide and elzer, who both gasped from the scene.
your eyes starts to water from the intense pain, trying not to cry out and scream your heart out in fear of making your lover feel regret. you could honestly care less on what diluc is doing, all you could think about was the intense burns from your arms.
suddenly, the door was slammed open by kaeya– who was wet from the rain outside.
"what the hell did you do to them?!" kaeya exclaims, running towards you with a shocked look on his face. "i'll take you to the cathedral alright? the sisters will heal you." he whispers, wiping off the tears from your face as he wraps his arm around your shoulder and takes you towards the doors.
before diluc could let out a word from his mouth, kaeya gives him a glare.
"you may hate me for what happened," kaeya says.
"but for celestia's sake, don't ever come to them or call them your lover ever again."
that was the last time you saw diluc.
you eventually find out from the chattering nuns that the man had already left monstadt with no news of when he'll return, causing everyone to pity you and for diluc about what happened.
you were thankful that no one except the nuns found out about the incident of your arms.
throughout your stay in the cathedral, you usually find kaeya beside you, keeping an eye on you with a concerned look on his face. you honestly couldn't imagine what would've happened if the man didn't storm inside dawn winery. would diluc actually try to help you later on and leave? would you have suffered more with your injuries as he stands by watching you in disbelief?
whatever outcome you could think of, your heart ached from them all.
would diluc stayed had he been the one who tries to take care of your injuries?
either way, you knew the man is no longer the one you fell in love with from those years ago.
as years grew by, so did your friendship with kaeya.
although it was awkward from the start, you eventually warmed up to the man who you thought is your enemy, feeling more comfortable with him than before.
the two of you started having careers by then, with you having a successful career whilst kaeya becomes the calvary captain of the knights of favonius.
although the two of you are busy, you agreed to always meet each other at night in angel's share, where you drink the night away and talk about anything that comes out of your minds.
there wasn't a day when you thought about diluc.
thankfully, your burns weren't too severe and is slowly fading away throughout the years. but that doesn't mean the memories you had from it disappeared as well.
ever since that dreadful night, you started having nightmares about the incident, always finding yourself sitting up from your bed with a scared look on your face.
you wished you didn't want to see diluc this way, but you honestly couldn't bare to face him if he ever comes back to the city.
you don't see him as a lover or a friend. all he is to you at this very moment is your nightmare.
your nightmares simply washes away when kaeya comes up in your mind.
whenever you think about your so-called destined enemy, you felt comforted and safe. it was understandable really! you were touched by how he took care of you regardless of you being his "enemy".
however... now that you could think about it, the calvary captain has a lot more common with you than diluc himself. the fact that his brother made you laugh a lot and supported you in many ways made you started thinking that maybe diluc really isn't your destined lover.
your heart skips a beat from the thought of kaeya being your true lover, the smile you wore never fading away.
perhaps when you're finally starting to move on from the relationship you had with diluc, maybe... just maybe, kaeya could be the one you've been hoping for.
you started to sleep more peacefully, excited for the future that awaits.
somewhere in the calvary captain's home, the man is dreaming and hoping of you too.
#ik diluc doesnt have enemy-villainy energy but he's only your destined enemy because of how you don't like him as both friend and lover#anyways hope you enjoyed this!#diluc x reader angst#diluc x reader#genshin x reader#diluc ragnvindr x reader#diluc x y/n#diluc x you#diluc headcanons#diluc scenarios#kaeya x reader angst#genshin kaeya#kaeya x reader#kaeya x you#kaeya x y/n#kaeya#kaeya fluff#kaeya imagines#kaeya alberich#kaeya alberich x reader#kaeya alberich x you#kaeya headcanons#kaeya alberich x y/n#kaeya scenarios#diluc imagines#kaeya hcs#genshin hcs#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact#genshin impact au
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Oooo I love your world-building in ur AU -typically don’t see a whole lot for the Vander crew, so love to see it here :D On a slightly different note would you be willing to do Claggor x reader headcanons? (Preferably a pre-established relationship but it’s up to you) or if ur not comfortable with that maybe a platonic!Vander crew x mom-friend reader?
Yo I'm ALWAYS down to write for anyone in the Vander Crew! It's to make up for the fact we never got to spend more time with them and experience their dynamic :( I wasn't sure if you wanted the headcanons set in the canon universe or in the Modern AU, so please forgive me if you intended for them to be set in Zaun. Ngl Claggor holds a special place in my heart because he acts exactly like a person I once knew :)
Notes: Fluff. PURE fluff.
---
Claggor x GN!Reader Headcanons (Modern!AU)
I'm gonna be honest, Claggor is the best option if you're thinking of dating any of the older kids in the Vander Crew
He is respectful, kind and caring, always looks out for others, keeps a level head, gives the best hugs, our man is the whole package; You are literally THE luckiest person alive
Back when you two were pining for each other, he’d be a little awkward whenever he talks to you but makes sure to be extra helpful whenever it comes to you
He always has your back if you need help with anything, be it studying for exams, carrying equipment for your clubs, looking for your lost phone, etc.; He's notably ready to drop anything else he's doing just to help you
These are two clear signs he’s caught feelings aaawwwwww
To him, it doesn't matter who asks out who first; If it's him making the move, he'd lowkey be nervous and rehearsing what to say for the entire day until he confronts you; He takes a calm, gentle approach and assures you that you're not obligated to reciprocate his feelings
If you're the one that asks him out, he'd be surprised but VERY flattered and blushing nonstop, even stutters a little as a grin spreads across his face; He'd say, "I know I'm not too experienced in some areas, but I will do my best to take care of you" :)
And boy does he honor that commitment
He prefers to keep the relationship lowkey; It's not that he's ashamed of you or anything, it's just that he doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable if any or too much attention is drawn to the two of you
For him, he doesn't see a need to constantly make your relationship known - You know he loves you and he knows you love him, that's all that matters
Definitely the type to put his hand on your lower back to guide you through crowds; You'll always feel protected around him
And when I say “protected” I mean he will not hesitate to throw down if anyone tries to hurt you
Claggor may be a sweet boy who’s in the top 3 of his graduating class and vice-president of the student council, but he knows when it’s time to get someone’s ass beat
Because of this, NO ONE will fuck with either of you
His love languages would be acts of service (giving) and quality time (receiving)
He secretly keeps a list of all your interests and favorite things; This is so he can keep them in mind when planning date nights and gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
Claggor’s that one person who’ll notice if anything’s bothering you and immediately ask what’s wrong; He’s very observant and will be there as you talk about anything on your mind
He doesn’t care if you’re a nerd, he will listen intently to whatever you want to ramble about, whether it’s about the detailed psychoanalysis of each character in Encanto or outlandish facts that prove dolphins and penguins to be evil menaces of society
Always attends your games, concerts, contests, anything you participate in at school; The sweetest thing is that you rarely had to ask him to come to any of them, you just spot him in the crowd or bump into him afterwards as he warmly congratulates you
Loves giving you forehead kisses so expect a lot of those especially if you’re shorter than him; Like imagine him engulfing you in a warm hug after you won a game or something, his arms lifting you off the floor as he places a gentle kiss on your temple (damn I never felt so SINGLE writing that sentence WHYYYYY)
Cuddle sessions are a regular occurrence; You two often cuddle under blankets on his bed while binge-watching Netflix on his computer
Unfortunately, he and Mylo share a room so Mylo sometimes intrudes the two of you just to get whatever he needs; Claggor always urges him to make it quick
Mylo's lowkey bitter cuz he's the only person in the family who doesn't have a love life; He and Vi regularly tease you and Claggor, saying you both act like a disgusting elderly couple
Ngl your relationship with him would probably last long because he puts so much effort into maintaining it (because he loves you so much)
#arcane#claggor arcane#claggor x reader#arcane league of legends#league of legends#arcane headcanons
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Headcannon of a poly relationship w fem Y/N, Mikasa, and Annie? Like the relationship dynamics and what a normal day would look like? If u include a NSFW dynamics I wouldn’t mind👀
BUT IF YOU DON’T HAVE TIME I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND 💗💗💗 love ur posts and have a nice day😇💞
Sure thing anon! Also, thank you, and have a nice day as well!
Mikasa Ackerman x Reader x Annie Leonhart: HCs
AU: Canon
Warnings: None
(SFW)
Surprisingly, being in a relationship with these two can get quite hectic sometimes, despite the fact that they're both pretty calm people by themselves
They are fiercely protective over you sometimes. Even if you are just as good of a soldier as you are, they will be defending you left and right
They usually stick by your side during missions, making sure that the three of you are near each other at all times, that way you have each others' back
But they don't just defend you against titans, no, they will defend you against anyone
They show their protectiveness differently, though
Annie is generally more relaxed about it than Mikasa is, and on top of that, Annie is very physical when it comes down to it, but Mikasa is more verbal about it
For instance, if a training partner is being too rough on purpose, it wouldn't be a surprise for Annie to quietly ask to speak with them after practice, only to show up to breakfast with a black eye the next morning
Or, if, heaven forbid, someone else start coming on to you, Mikasa will pull them aside for a stern talking to, telling them to back off. And, since it's Mikasa, they always listen
Even Instructor Shadis isn't safe. If they feel he's being a little too hard on you during training, one or both of them will talk to him, using their wits to convince him that you're in no fit to keep training for the day, and then joining you in bed once he excuses you
After a while, people start to learn that it's best to stay on good terms with you, unless they want to make enemies with two of the strongest soldiers in the 104th
Though, they are great listeners when it comes down to it. If you think they're being a bit too overbearing, they'll back off
They both love you and respect you a lot, and would hate to do anything against your wishes
They're both very aloof people, but around you (in private, that is) they're both really soft
Mikasa's love language is quality time, so you can expect her to be near you at most times, reminding you of her presence every now and then just to remind you that she's here for you. She doesn't need to say or do much, she just wants to be close to you, physically and emotionally
Meanwhile, Annie's love language is, surprisingly, physical touch. She'll constantly be having her shoulder up against yours, or her hand gripping yours, or, if you're really lucky, she'll show one of her rare moments of vulnerability, embracing you tightly and clinging onto you until she's satisfied
The three of you, while caring deeply about your friends, value the moments where you all get to be completely alone, not having to worry about the gazes of others on you
Cuddle piles (subsequently leading to long, comfortable naps) are quite common
Mikasa, being the nurturing type she is, will gently pull you and Annie closer into her sides, tucking yours or Annie's head onto her chest or into the crook of her arm, keeping you warm and close to her
It's at these moments, too, that Annie isn't afraid to seem vulnerable or meek, curling into Mikasa's side and draping an arm or a leg over the ravenette's body
Or, sometimes, if either Mikasa or Annie isn't present, the other one will pull you to rest against their chest, letting you fall asleep against them while they wait patiently for the other one to show up
Sometimes, though, when they do show up, they'll take a short moment to fawn over your sleeping form, discussing how cute you look when you sleep, and how lucky they are to be in a relationship with both you and the other
As I've mentioned a little earlier, Mikasa is the nurturing one of you three
If you or Annie get hurt, she's at their side at an instant, treating their wounds with such a gentle touch, as if her lover was made of glass, and would break at any touch just a tad too harsh
Sometimes, Annie gets insecure about your relationship, feeling like she isn't great at opening up and showing emotions/vulnerability, and that the two of you seem so much more content when she isn't around
Which leads you and Mikasa to share a quick glance before you rush over to comfort her, hugging her gently and whispering just how much she means to you both
And that was the first time either of you—or anyone for that matter—had seen Annie cry.
But neither of you make any huge notice of it, instead just pulling her closer, wiping her tears away with your hands
A daily routine between the three of you always starts very early in the morning, due to Annie's habit to always get some running in before training starts
And, within about a week of dating her, Mikasa joined her
You were... less enthusiastic about waking up early just to exercise, so often, you would just stay in bed
And, ever since you made it clear that you prefer the extra hour of sleep over a run in the early morning hues of dawn, they started to speed their run up, taking it from a light jog to a running pace, just so they can get back to the barracks to spend an extra thirty minutes in bed with you before the official wake-up time
During breakfast time, you'll usually sit with Eren and Armin, just so Mikasa can spend some time with her friends (which is surprisingly scarce between her relationship and her training/duty as a soldier), though sometimes you'll let Annie sit with Reiner and Bertholdt. She never really says much at all to the two, but you know she likes to be in their presence sometimes, so you and Mikasa never pestered her about it
Unfortunately, the three of you are seldom ever partnered with each other, but more often than not, you'll be able to pester Shadis into letting you three train together
In that case, you usually forgo the actual instructions in favor of Annie teaching you and Mikasa her martials arts technique
After a long day of training, the three of you will often go straight to bed, too exhausted to do anything else, but sometimes, you'll sneak out after dark to spend a little quality time together
Usually, you do something simple and relaxing, just enough to truly unwind you from the days activities
Sometimes you'll go for a walk, other times you'll climb up onto the roof to stargaze, or sometimes you'll even just huddle up under a tree for a while
But no matter what it is, there's always a conversation
Since moments alone like this are few and far between, the three of you take the time to talk about anything and everything
The future, the present, or even the dark past they both seemed to share
You'll discuss plans for the future, about where you'll go and what you'll do if you ever retire from the military
And, seldom does it happen, but Mikasa might even bring up the idea of starting a family of your own someday
Though, with death looming so threateningly over you three at all times, it's best not to humor the idea
Still, you appreciate all moments together like this, because they truly love you and love each other more than words can express
(NSFW)
In the bedroom, things can get really heated between the three of you, considering both Annie and Mikasa are very passionate lovers
It's not something they can devote time to everyday, so when you do get down to it, you'll probably be at it for a while
As for how things get started, it's surprisingly a bit of exhibitionism
Just because they're lovers doesn't mean they still have a playful rivalry between the two of them
So, if one of them is in the mood, they'll try to isolate you and start eating you out or fingering you, just waiting until the other one inevitably walks in and joins you
Which often leads to little contests about who can please you more/give you more orgasms
Which is all well and good for you, until they get a little too into it, leaving you helplessly overstimulated without them even realizing it, with Annie's fingers in your cunt and Mikasa rubbing at your clit
But, most of the time, sex involves all three of you equally
Annie tends to be a service top most of the time, perfectly content with eating you or Mikasa out for hours, even if she doesn't actually get to come that night
Mikasa does top sometimes, but tends to be a little bit more submissive
Especially when it's just her and Annie, Annie will almost always top
But either way, they both have one shared desire—having you be in the middle of them
Since they are both very giving women, they love to please you and have you be the center of attention during sex
One of the most common positions, for example, has you situated on your back, while Mikasa rides your face and Annie hikes a leg over her shoulder and scissors you
That one almost always leaves a mess, but they get too caught up in the moment to care
Speaking of mess, Annie is a shameless lover of cum. There, I said it
Mikasa on her own is already a squirter, but if you are too, she just loses it
She loves when you come hard and squirt everywhere. She will 100% lick it off of you
In a modern AU, I imagine both of them being really fond of toys
Annie's strap game would be IMMACULATE
She would always have just the right pace as she sits you down in her lap, forcing you up and down on the silicone cock as it splits you open mercilessly
Meanwhile, Mikasa is a huge fan of vibrators, both on her and you
She loves when the two of you sit really close together, just enough so that she can stick a vibrator between you two so it stimulates both of your clits at once
I also have a feeling that they would make you wear those vibrating panties, then go out in public and take shifts with the remote
But they don't want to actually get caught doing it, so after about 30 minutes of torturous on and off vibrations, they just take you into an empty restroom just to finish you off quickly
I also have a feeling that Annie would kinda get off to watching you and Mikasa go at it without her
Like, she'd stand over you two and tell you exactly what to do to each other, and shamelessly start fingering herself as she watches
But, after quite a few rounds, you three would be way too tired to continue, eventually just collapsing right where you were
Mikasa would 100% be the queen of aftercare
Like, as soon as you and Annie are done, she'll be up to grab anything either of you need
Something to drink? A light snack? Something to clean up with? She has whatever you need
"Are you thirsty? Hang on baby, I'll go to the kitchen. Need anything else while I'm there?"
And she's so gentle with it, too
She does get a little embarrassed, though, having to take the dainty little napkin and wiping it over your cunt and the inside of your thighs to clean up all the mess you made
But, once she's satisfied with how you two are feeling, she'll lay down right next to you, pulling you or Annie into her chest, clinging onto them protectively
Which leads to the other one inevitably shuffling over to Mikasa's side as well, not wanting to miss out on the post-sex cuddles
What can you say? She's a great cuddler
And then, finally, you enjoy the gentle moment between you and your lovers, your eyes slowly closely as sleep overtakes you
I might have just written more NSFW than I did SFW... and if so, I don't know whether to be more disappointed or impressed by myself.
#aot#attack on titan#snk#shingeki no kyojin#aot x reader#attack on titan x reader#mikasa ackerman#annie leonhart#mikasa ackerman x reader#mikasa x reader#annie leonhart x reader#annie x reader#annie x reader x mikasa#mikasa x reader x annie#annie leonhart x reader x mikasa ackerman#mikasa ackerman x reader x annie leonhart#that's a lot of tags dammit >:[
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SMUT, collegecrush!au, tattooed Johnny agenda, bff Jaehyun! And brief mentions of him being drunk, all the yearning, Johnny is whipped for you but you didn't hear that from me, he's got a big dick, brief dry humping, finger fucking and pussy eating bc....I'm a whore, sensual fucking cause he thinks ur precious teehee ngl I have a crush on this Johnny
A month ago, if someone would have told you that Johnny Seo would be watching The Matrix trilogy with you while sitting on your living room floor under a blanket that he'd brought to the routine occasion - you would have thought them to be crazy. Insane, even.
And not because Johnny is unpleasant to be around, quite the contrary. Despite his popularity he's one of the most levelheaded, endearing frat boys - for lack of better term - you've ever met, and you also happen to think of him as a superhero of sorts, always there the moment you need him.
It had been a party, where the two of you met - sort of. Not shocking, in the least bit, but also not the first place you would have planned to be on a Saturday night. Jaehyun, being the stubborn and puppy dog eyed best friend that he is, insisted that you come along with him - that he'd keep you glued to his side all night long.
Of course, in proper Jaehyun fashion, three tequila shots in and a game of beer pong had him barely cognitive and passed out on some ones bathroom floor within two hours. The house was big, but filled with people and between trying to lift him up while he giggled about your hair smelling so good and sweet - you also feared anyone seeing him like this. Even if it weren't the first time.
His presence spooked you, at first, a light tap on your shoulder from somewhere behind you just as you attempted to lift your aforementioned best friend for what felt like the hundredth time that night. You nearly dropped him back on his head, if it weren't for quick hands and a sturdy grip on the drunk boys slumped shoulders.
He looked like sunshine, honey skin and dyed blonde hair with the dark roots growing out - a soft, comforting smile across the smooth planes of his face. Dark ink peaked out from where the collar of his shirt had drooped, appearing to be spilling from his shoulder. Your arms felt weaker than before, and embarrassment regarding the situation began to make your skin hot.
"I got him, don't worry," he'd assured with a gentle grin, lifting your bestfriend with an ease you almost wanted to scowl at. His height had been startling too, and not just because you were sitting on someone's bathroom floor. "did you guys drive here?"
You shook your head, a sigh of frustration leaving your lips and slumping your posture as you remembered that you both had walked here. Johnny slung Jaehyuns arm over his broad pair of shoulders, and jerked his chin towards the door, which you opened warily.
"I'll drive you home, it's no problem," his voice was soft, reassuring and you were taken aback. He obviously knew Jaehyun, and you'd never met any of his friends that were so...pleasant. "let's get him to my car first."
It wasn't nearly as painful and humiliating to push past crowds of intoxicated people with Johnny leading the way, as it would have been if it were just you. No one even batted an eye at the way he was dragging Jaehyun like a ragdoll, while the boy grumbled under his breath like a child.
People looked at him, of course. Oh, they looked at him. But not because of his human luggage, and it felt odd to see so many eyes on one person, to realize that his presence has the same effect on everyone else as it did you.
He kept looking back, making sure you were still close behind him, and it wasn't until you were outside in the open that you realized he'd been clinging on to the fabric of your jacket, making sure you didn't stray. Your heart felt like it was bursting open. Focus. You'd thought to yourself.
"That's my car over there, can you open the door for me?"
You jogged towards the sleek, onyx colored SUV that looked like a shadow against the dark bushes, and in just a split second Johnny was behind you, maneuvering Jaehyun into the backseat.
"Mmm...leather." Your best friend's giggle made you all the more grateful for the fact that you hadn't had to do this alone, his cheeks bright red and eyes crescent moons from the way he gleefully grinned. Still, you love him nonetheless.
You pulled your jacket off and prepared to drape it over his body before Johnny stopped you with a gentle hand, shaking his head. "I've got two on, let me."
His jacket probably sufficed more anyways, a heavy denim that would actually cover most of Jaehyuns body. You thanked him with a shy smile while he closed the door, and headed towards the passengers seat.
This experience had been the beginning, the car ride home that night being one full of conversations - genuine conversations, and he didn't leave once you both arrived at your apartments. Jaehyun snored in the background while the two of you talked, laughed. It was hard to look him in the eyes, to not make it so obvious - it's hard now, too.
Neo and Trinity kiss on the screen in front of you, and you wonder how Johnny sees you. Sure, he's flirty, overtly sometimes, but there's never been a definitive line to mark where the both of you really are on the friendship spectrum. If you even want to call it that.
Every time he touches your cheek or catches you staring, even when you're walking to your classes and his hand graces the small of your waist just before he waves you goodbye - you have to assume that he knows what he's doing - that the tension hasn't ever just been one sided.
His hair is a light chestnut brown now, longer than usual and flopping into his eyes from the sides. It's unfair, how he doesn't even have to try. The sharp slope of his nose, the bow of his lips, even the elegance of his neck and jaw. That awe from when you first saw him, has never left.
Not to mention that you often times forget he has so many tattoos whenever he decides to wear short sleeves, the art inky and stark against his olive skin - riveting down from his biceps like silk, cascading over his thick forearms and ending at his knuckles.
You turn your attention back to the laptop upon realizing that you've gotten caught up, heart still rattling underneath your ribcage. It makes it worse, the fact that the heat of his body is so close, that you can smell the scent of dryer sheets clinging onto the fabric of his shirt along with the natural allure of his skin.
"Why were you staring at me?" His breath is warm against the shell of your ear and you shudder, surprised by his sudden closeness and the timbre of his voice. You turn to face him with an incredulous expression, feigning innocence - but he makes it damn near impossible with the way he's looking at you - a dark eyebrow raised and a sly smile playing on his heart shaped lips.
"I was looking at your tattoos, cause - uhm, I forget they're underneath your clothes sometimes." You confess, and his knee knocks against yours underneath the blanket.
"Mmhm, so you think about what's under my clothes?" He teases, and takes pride in the way your eyes glower at him, a scoff leaving your mouth. It's hard to be annoyed when he's so vibrant, right here in front of you.
"Just the art, this one's my favorite." Eager to not have the pressure on you anymore, you reach out to grasp his wrist - not realizing how deeply of a need you've had all this time to do so, until you're tracing the flower that's decorating the top of his hand.
In hindsight, it's a bold move - but you can't go back now, not when he's staring down at you so fondly, scooting closer and placing his hand in your lap while you admire his body art.
"Yeah? Why's it your favorite?" He asks, genuinely curious. He nudges your shoulder with his when he sees the shy smile spreading across your lips, your skin hot to the touch. His comfort level has you less nervous than you were before, and the whole thing feels oddly natural, being so close together.
"I don't know, it just suits you. Your hands are so big, and the little vines looping around your knuckles really makes them look...delicate."
You don't dare look up, not when you realize his chest is rising and falling faster than it was before, just like yours is as you spread his fingers out and play with the digits, his face just inches above yours, voice warm in your ear.
"Second favorite." It's not a demand but it's not exactly a request either, and there's a safety in the energy pulsating around you both - mutual, rippling like a current through your bones.
Your eyes deliberately trail up the length of his long arm, scanning, and your fingertips press against the belly of the dragon that wraps around his bicep, sinewy tail tapering off just below his elbow. You've secretly admired this one for a long time, sneaking glances whenever you can. He turns more towards you just the slightest bit, and the closeness begins to make you feel dizzy.
"Your hands are soft."
This time, you can't not look at him, belly filled with a need to see his face, to save the memory of his features so up close in the back of your mind. However, once you do, look up at him - you almost wonder how you'll be able to handle it at all, his amber eyes boring into you as if he's trying to read your thoughts.
"So is your skin." Is what you manage to reply, willing yourself not to look at his soft, inviting mouth - afraid you'll give yourself away. You feel something stroke the side of your cheek and it takes you a second before realizing he's touching you, apparently giving yourself away isn't an issue. You feel like you're being set ablaze.
"Is it really just the tattoos, you think of?" You're not imagining things, he's definitely moving closer - you can smell the starbursts that he ate earlier still sweet on his breath, the wrappers crumpled on the coffee table next to the laptop.
It's all settling in, the realization that this hasn't been just you, fantasizing and daydreaming about someone who hasn't even realized how his natural charm has made you feel.
You're afraid to speak, so you shake your head as a response to his question, the atmosphere thickening impossibly now that he's cupping your chin between his fingers, the tips of your noses almost touching. You've placed your palm against his knee without even realizing it, steadying yourself.
"I've wanted to kiss you since the day we met," he confesses, dark eyebrows furrowed as if he's restraining himself, waiting. "is this...is this okay?" Your lower belly flutters, and you're almost afraid to move, to change anything about this moment and the way it is right now.
"Me too. I've wanted to kiss you, I mean." You breathe out, and now your lips are ghosting against each other, a moment of hesitation that feels both infinitesimal and fleeting. "It's more than okay." A heartbeat passes and he presses his mouth against yours, so pillowy soft that you gasp, surprised.
It's just a second, that he pulls away to look down at you, and your expression is so heavenly - so hazy and delicate. He kisses you again and this time your lips begin to overlap, from top to bottom, suckling and getting used to the feel of each other. He's still holding your face, but with both hands now, thumbs on your cheeks and fingers wrapping around to the nape of your neck.
You cling onto him like you've no other choice, desperate to have him underneath your fingertips, reminding you that this is really happening and that your mind isn't just creating very vivid daydreams. He pulls you closer and you grip onto his broad shoulders.
"Mm, you're so sweet," he lilts between his kisses, tone somewhere between bliss and desire. You're not expecting to be so worked up already. "even better than I imagined." His tongue slips past yours, wet and warm and it's like your body is being put on vibrate.
He senses this too, with the way you're almost in his lap, breath unsteady. His arms are around your waist before you can move any further, pulling you on top of him and locking you to his torso.
"Johnny." You strain, as the feeling within you becomes overwhelming, craving his touch, his mouth. It doesn't help that he's being so vocal, as well - the sounds sweeter, and more desperate than you'd expect from him. It has something feral igniting within you.
What shocks you the most is that he's already hard underneath you, and the thought alone is enough to have you keening further against his chest, tightening your thighs' grip around his trim waist- not to mention you can feel him snug against your ass, material of your shorts so thin it's palpable when he twitches.
So, naturally, your whine is petulant when his mouth departs from yours, his plush lips a deep blush, matching his cheeks in their hue. He's just as worked up as you if his erratic breathing and the way that he grasps onto your sides is anything to go by, and you shouldn't be as surprised as you are about it.
"You...have no idea," he pants, smoothing his thumb over your bottom lip. "how badly I've wanted you. In so many ways."
Your heart feels like it's attempting to burst through your chest in an effort to be closer to him, his sharp eyes lowly lidded but fierce in their honesty. You take this brief moment to touch his face, his soft cheeks and the smooth, taut ridge of his jaw. It all feels too real to be a dream. This must be reality.
"I'm only stopping because, well I like you," it's hard to pinpoint if the trembling of his hands is fueled from his desire or his nerves, but either way he's got your rapt attention. You doubt anyone could look away from those eyes.
"I like you a lot and...fuck, I don't want to do anything you aren't comfortable with or...sure about. Because I'm sure about you." He finishes, sincere and stoic while holding you against him. You feel like you're floating.
"I have a really big crush on you, Johnny," you kiss his mouth and he smiles against it, humming in contentment. Suddenly, your nerves are replaced by pure adrenaline. "and I like you a lot, too." When you pull back from his lips with a soft smack, his expression causes your skin to burn hot.
"So it'd be okay if I did..." he tilts your head to the side, and a flurry of goosebumps descend across your skin, his breath warm against your throat. "this?" A kiss, soft but purposeful, is placed there, and you shudder.
All you can do is nod in affirmation, heartbeat in your ears among other places. Your fingers run through the hair at the nape of his neck while his mouth begins placing warm, wet pecks against yours, and his body lurches when your thighs tighten around his torso.
It only manages to work you up further, of course, brain already high off of the fact that Johnny likes you back...in fact...he truly is as good as you've always thought, sweet and kind and nasty, groaning when you rut your hips against him.
"Baby, you're shaking." He mouths against your jaw, wondrously and laced with an undertone of hunger. His strong arms hold you tight, eyes softening when he looks down at you and realizes just how worked up you really are.
"I just want you really bad, Johnny." Your body emphasizes your point, chest pressed against the firmness of his, nipples hard behind your shirt. He can practically feel you throbbing.
It's a little fucked up, honestly.
No ones ever had him this head over heels, he feels himself melting against you, your voice sweet and syrupy, dripping with this ache just for him and he's losing it.
"Yeah?" He muses, the wide palm of his hands sliding down the curve of your back, and over the swell of your ass where it's planted so firmly atop of him - massaging you there. "Where do you want me, honey?"
The pet names have you too worked up, you really could get off of anything right now and he's tracing the back of your thighs now, swirling his soft fingertips around, leaving a wake of searing heat in their path.
"Want you everywhere, just - mmph." This kiss interrupts you, bruising in it's intensity and he cups your face softly as a silent apology despite the fact that you're letting out small coos of satisfaction, tugging at the ends of his messy hair.
For a second you feel like you're being lifted, not realizing he's just moved you both to the couch until your head is resting against the cushions, inky arms caging your body against the length of his. He groans when you palm at his stomach, touching and rubbing his sides and then the broad of his back.
All the while his free hand, the one that's not attached to the arm holding himself up, does some exploring of its own, palming your breasts through your shirt and squeezing with just enough pressure to have you arching into his touch.
Automatically, your legs wrap around his middle and your heels dig into the dimples of his back, and his hips pivot downwards to nestle right in between yours. You're both instantaneously struck by the sensation of your centers meeting, his length jerking inside of his pants, your clit throbbing in yours.
"Gonna touch you..." nimble fingertips dance over the skin of your inner thighs. "...here, is that okay?" The warmth of his hand cups your sex and now you're positive that wetness has begun to soak through your underwear, senses gone haywire from the way he's rubbing you, up and down.
"Mhm that's - yes, that's okay." You pant, desperate to feel him as well and reaching in between your bodies in an attempt to grasp at him - his height doesn't make this as easy as you thought and your pliant hands meet just his navel, the faintest of happy trails soft against the skin here.
He switches to his thumb now, instead of the heel of his palm to rub you through your shorts. He searches, for a short moment, finding what he's looking for and pressing the pad of his finger against your bud.
He kisses your whimper, shifting his hips and shuffling upwards just a smidge so that your hands can reach his hard cock. You have to maneuver your arm underneath his but it's working out fine so far, your eyes widening once you feel the twitch of his length.
"Oh." You gasp, expecting to have felt it all while you were on his lap, but missing by a longshot. He's big, bigger than anticipated and you're a bit too flustered as you follow it's bulge through his sweats. He groans your name, and you might be short circuiting.
"You're so hard...and b-big, Johnny you're really big." The incredulity of your voice only has his hunger growing, threatening to swallow him whole. In one breath your hands are pulled from him, pinned above your head with his gentle fingers barring your wrists.
"You're so fuckin' cute," he professes with an awed lilt, moving his hips in circles between yours - his shaft, heavy and thick, nudged against your lips. "wanna make you feel good...mm, wanna make you cum."
Butterflies threaten to flutter into your throat and suffocate you, his breath warm and sweet against your cheek before he's nipping at your earlobe. You feel like you're high, spinning yet completely grounded by his weight above you, against you.
"I want you Johnny, want you to fuck me." You try to turn your head, bashful of the way you're being so shameless but he's not having it, keeping his gaze on your every expression, trying not to lose his sanity when you grind yourself against him. Your voice, petulant and needy, is enough to have him at his wits end alone.
"I will baby, I will," he promises sweetly, accentuating his point by letting go of your wrists, and using one of his hands to pry your thighs open. He rolls his agile hips against you and the friction has you reaching out to grasp at his waist - trim and firm underneath your fingertips. "just gotta get you ready first."
He sits back on his haunches and you pout about the lack of content, his pleased grin a beacon as he hooks his fingers into your waistband, pulling your shorts off your hips and past your thighs - till they're at your ankles, and it feels surreal when he throws them somewhere behind the couch, too eager for his own good.
You're brought back to current reality when his big hands caress the tops of your thighs, before creeping down into the soft crease where they're shut closed in embarrassment, and pulling them apart.
He outwardly marvels and you wonder if he can see you clench, the moment overwhelmingly intimate with the way he's staring directly at the wet spot that’s soaked through the crotch of your panties. He takes only a moment to reach out and press his thumb against the dampness, balls tightening with the need to release each time you whimper or gasp.
With his cock leaking in his pants, he wastes no time, taking the flimsy piece of fabric off so fast you don't even have time to by shy about him seeing you naked and glistening in front of him. Furthermore, you don't think anyone could feel even the least but bad about themselves if he looked at them like this - slack jawed, and starved.
"Fuck...you're so beautiful," two long, inky fingers formed into the shape of a V, spread your lips open and then he's moving further away - no, scooting down onto his stomach, and suddenly his breath is a warm puff against your most sensitive parts. "so wet for me, hmm?"
You're not sure you can look away, too enraptured by the visual stimuli that's correlating with the circling of your swollen clit. You want to cry, a little bit. Scream, maybe. He's so beautiful you can't help but to reach out, running your fingers through the front of his chestnut hair and then his eyes are piercing through you like the shock of ice water.
Your body seems to register the feeling before you can process the sight by itself, back bowing off the couch, hips bucking. His hot, wet tongue licks at the hood of your clit, starting slow and picking up pace when you start to squirm. The blossoms painted across his skin decorate the arms that hold you down while his pillowy lips envelop the bud, suckling lewdly.
"O-oh, oh fu-mmm." You're already blubbering, lost and falling into the sensation of everything all at once. You've no doubt that he's had years of experience but this, you're not sure you've felt pleasure like this before.
"Feels good?" He mumbles between the flick of his tongue, hands traveling up the length of your body to grip your waist, kneading your skin. You almost laugh at the question, assuming your trembling body and the way you're involuntarily bucking against his mouth would suffice as an answer. Still, you humour him.
"Mmhm, feels- ohh, mhm feels good." Your voice is barely there, strained and whiny but he feeds off of your every utterance as if it's something he so desperately needs. The smacking between your legs becomes louder and like a magnet, you're drawn to the sight again, coil in your belly tightening impossibly.
He's a muss of hair, the dark strands tickling your thighs when his head moves from side to side. Your thighs attempt to clamp shut but then he's looking up at you again - purposeful in the way he maintains eye contact while he dives down and licks a stripe over your entrance.
You're not going to last long, and he knows this, from every twitch and squirm and whimper - he's preparing for your demise, humming in contentment while the lewd sounds of slickness continue.
He slips a finger inside of you, and then another once he realizes how soaked you are, and this proves to be the beginning of the end. You grip onto his forearms, needing to be grounded to something while he buries the digits inside of you, curling in a come hither motion.
It's all beyond what you thought pleasure could be, it's violet and red and all things euphoric behind your eyelids and the sound of his pleased groans are what finally have you giving out, melting against the couch cushions.
You're not sure if you're making any sound at all, honestly. It comes so quick, violent in it's force and you're hazy headed - tears welling in your eyes from the way he's still massaging you, licking you while your walls squeeze and contract around his fingers.
"That's it baby, mmm, let go."
The velvet voice is warm against your sensitive sex and you're still twitching as you peel your eyes open to peer down between your legs and see him there, staring up at you like you're the sun, slowing his movements while the aftershock of your orgasm seeps through you.
His knuckles are buried to the hilt inside of you and he pulls them out slowly, petal pink lips kissing your clit gently, adoringly. With your brain still foggy and embarrassment no longer present, you grab his wrist, bringing his slick soaked fingers to your mouth and wrapping your lips around them.
He moans an expletive and then he's hovering over you again, watching with a soaring heart as you suckle your juices clean from his digits, lashes fluttering when you open your eyes.
For once in his life, he's speechless. You have to pull him down to kiss you in order to breaks him from his reverie and it's now that he's realizing how excruciatingly hard he is. He doesn't remember the last time he's ever been this worked up without his dick even being touched for more than five minutes.
It's safe to say he's taken by surprise when your hand slips into his bottoms and briefs to palm him this time, and his body lurches against you while a desperate sound bellows in his throat.
"Baby." he coos, relishing in the softness of your palm, the difference in size of his own. He wants to protest when the intense bliss of it is gone, momentarily, only to feel your fingers attempting to pull his sweats down.
You're still buzzing from your orgasm but you've never been more positive about something; about someone. Your whole body feels as though it can't be satiated, not until you have all of him after having such a sweet taste.
"Please, now, want you now." You nibble on his bottom lip and he has to pull himself away or else he'll get too caught up in your mouth by itself, but he's on a mission - searching for his wallet and scrambling for it when he sees the leather square sitting on the floor.
The tips of your fingers and toes tingle with a mixture of unbearable anticipation, and nerves for what's about to come when he pulls the condom from his wallet and tears the corner of the foil.
It's just a second but it's enough to admire him silently, the twitch of his mouth, the elegance of his fingers even when they're eager and uncoordinated. A part of you feels overcome by the need to be encapsulated by his presence, for his skin to be a permanent silkiness against your lips.
He catches you in the midst of staring and it's like he's glowing from the inside out, pulling his pants down his thick thighs along with his black briefs, kicking them to the floor.
Without thinking your arms are reaching forward, gripping the small of his waist as if to still him, and he pauses at your will. He's cupping your chin with one hand while your fingertips explore underneath the hem of his shirt, and you're grateful that he's allowing you to soak this in, that he's not rushing despite the fact that both of you are like exposed lit wires.
"Here, let me take it off." His arms are reaching behind him before you can blink, biceps curling as he pulls his shirt off of his broad shoulders before discarding it with the rest of his clothing.
Your breath is audible, pupils blown wide while you examine the length of his torso and the permanent shapes that are marked there. Only patches of his honey skin peek through the array of tattoos he's got climbing his sides, over his chest, and you swear you've never seen someone so beautiful.
"Take mine off too." You barely manage to get out, and he's kissing your lips again with a soft sort of fondness, while his knuckles graze your skin and your shirt is being stripped from your body. He's back to kissing you and your naked chests meet for the first time, a fierceness gripping you by the throat when when when the shaft of his cock nudges your clit.
"You're sure about this?" He asks, gentle in the way he strokes your cheek with the back of his hand, pecking your mouth between glances at your nipples where they rub against him. His touch travels to your jaw and down your neck, before he's tweaking the buds between his fingers, and your legs wrap around his middle in an effort to solidify your answer.
"Yes, I'm sure," you run your fingers through his hair. "very sure."
Lips press against your cheek and then you're presented with the sight of him again, bare in front of you, just a few inches away. It's now that you really find the courage to look at him, not expecting to be out of breath and shock stricken once you lay your eyes upon his dick.
It's pretty, as pretty as you knew it had to be; curved just slightly, the tip swollen with arousal and a shade deeper than that of his lips that you've come to have photographically memorized.
You watch with probably more fascination than most while his slim fingers roll the condom onto his length, down the shaft that protrudes with a small vein right in the middle, until it's snug and securing the fact that you and Johnny Seo are about to have sex.
As always, here there right when you need him most, aiding you in forgetting about anything that isn't crucial to right now. His arms are wrapping around your thighs and pulling you closer - your small gasp doesn't go unnoticed.
And then, there's also the way he's looking at you, again. It's like he's compacted every emotion you could feel in a moment like this, and somehow managed to reflect it's opacity back at you through the glimmer of his irises.
You jerk your hips against him and he grins at your urgency, diverting his attention to the space between your legs and holding you steady by the hips with one hand while the other goes to grip his cock.
He levels his pelvis with yours and brings the pink head down to your entrance where it leaks for him, gathering the slickness and smearing it through your folds, around your clit.
His fingers search for yours and suddenly he's interlocking them while you feel the initial stretch of his dick finally entering you, a soft expletive leaving his mouth while he pushes himself into you halfway, peering down with half lidded eyes as a silent affirmation.
Your expression must be as expressive as the soft mewls that involuntarily fall from your lips, and he bottoms out while leaning down to kiss you as he's come to realize that this action is single handedly way more addictive than it should be.
You feel so full it's impossible not whine, and within seconds he's pulling himself out of you nearly all the way - mouth hovering over yours so he can watch your features contort when he sheathes himself back in with a snap of his hips.
With the need to hold on to something becoming incessant, he allows you to throw your arms around his neck while your thighs tremble around him, his hips creating a slow but steady pace that draws lewd sounds from between your bodies with every slow drag of his thick cock.
It's strange, how you provoke such tenderness within him when you shudder and pant beneath him despite the fact that he's barely done anything yet- a juxtaposition to the feral, nagging type of ache that brews in the center of his belly to have you even more a mess.
It's not that he's fairing any better, though. Even you can see that, feel it in the way he keeps his lips on your skin, trying and failing miserably to hold back his groans while your nails create crescent moons on the broad of his back.
"You - f-fuck you feel s-so good." He stutters, and if you could find your words maybe you'd even have the confidence to tease him, but right now all you can comprehend is the feeling in which he's providing, the nudge of his tip so deep inside of you.
"Faster, can you - oh yes, yes." It's like he knows what you want before you get it out all the way, and his tongue is warm against your throat while he obliges your request, furthering your haziness.
You're quick to realize that Johnny is a generous lover. Despite the fact that he's holding himself together on the edge of his coherency, he's already atuned to each tense of your muscles, the strain of sweet sounds you coo in his ear. He uses this as a guide, working his hips skillfully, circling when he pushes himself back in.
The fact that you're sopping wet helps as well, audibly soaked and your walls are taking him in so generously he doesn't know what to do with himself. Your hands are in his hair and tug at the dark strands without thinking, drawing a sweet, serene moan from the back of his throat.
"Mm, feels good?" He asks despite knowing the answer, your countenance painted with the colors of bliss. He peers down in between your bodies and almost regrets it due to the pulse it sends through his groin - threatening to send him over the edge too soon.
But it's a sight too mesmerizing, his entire length disappearing inside of you with an easy glide, his hips colliding with the back of your thighs and your clit waiting to be played with. You're just as taken by the sight, surrounded by only him, inside of you and around you like a life force. Your hands travel over anywhere and everywhere, down to his belly where the muscles flex underneath the painted skin with every thrust.
"So good, you feel s-so good Johnny." You're becoming even more petulant but he doesn't mind, not when you're clinging onto his biceps and mewling his name. He slips his tongue into your mouth while his hands cup the back of your knees, hiking your thighs up higher around his middle.
Your skin burns where he touches, his pace increasing and now you wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors knew exactly what it is that the two of you are doing, skin against skin and coos of pleasure echoing through your small apartment. You have a hard time forming thoughts that make sense.
"M' all the way up there baby," his voice is deceivingly sweet, hips dangerous and borderline ruthless now that you two are drenched in the essence of lust and desire, driven by your need to come undone. "such a sweet pussy."
He means it, too. Maybe that's what makes this all so much more enthralling. From the clench of his taut jaw, to the way his dark eyebrows are furrowed, even the crimson of his lips from the way he's been biting down on them - Johnny is nothing but honest. It's somehow stripped you of the shyness you'd normally be harboring, compelling your mouth to speak without a filter.
"It's all yours, I'm yours."
This seems to spur him on, more than you thought because now he's all but cradling you in his arms, mouthing his words against your lips, not allowing even a centimeter of space to reside between the two of your bodies. It feels whole, complete.
"Mm, yeah sweetheart? Mine. Fuck, you're all mine."
It's a growled statement and you quiver against his solid form, warmed from the inside out like a furnace and set ablaze. You're still sensitive from his mouth but that doesn't change the orb of pressure within your belly, or the waves of pleasure that spread through your thighs and up your spine from the way your clit is rubbing against his pelvis while his cock reaches new depths.
You should've known his mouth would be filthy, and it's really ticking every box you've literally ever needed to be ticked and you're sort of embarrassed by how far gone you are already, properly mewling with your fingers gripping onto his bulged biceps where he uses them to hold himself up.
His face is a sight to behold in itself, as well - plush lips parted, cheeks hot and a shade of deep, ravishing plum. If he weren't steadily hitting that sweet spot inside of you maybe you'd actually be able to keep your eyes open long enough to admire it more - but it's obvious it won't be long until you're unraveling.
He's thankful, in a way. Because you're sighing out sweet words that profess how good he's doing, and he swears that he's never felt anything as good as this. Through and through. You're made for him, wrapped around his being, tight like cellophane and it's silly but this is all he's dreamed of for months.
"Open your eyes sweetheart," his hips stutter at the same time you involuntarily squeeze around the tip of his cock as he goes to seep back into you and you're drawn to the plead of his voice. "let me - fuck, let me be yours, please?"
His voice is honey, coating you in it's sweetness and you're teetering on the edge of your release. It beckons you soothingly, like a siren in the wake of a wave and it doesn't calm when you pull him down to your mouth by the nape of his neck, your shared groans being swallowed by the other. Your thighs are a vice around his waist, keeping him locked against you as he grinds his cock into you.
"You're mine, J-John- oh, oh please." His fingers have reached down in the limited space between your shared skin to rub your clit in circles and you know this is it - mind and body completely encircled by everything he's made of, the scent of his skin and the heat of his body and even the way he says your name.
"Want you to cum for me, please, please cum for me baby." His breath is warm against your ear, a vibration that wracks through all of your senses and your body knows it's coming before you do - instantly under the influence of his begs and pleas.
You're descending, voice nothing but a gasp and an echo of an expletive when the dam inside of you finally bursts - leaving you to tremble like a leaf beneath him while the feeling threatens to consume you inch by inch, nerve by nerve.
You've all but gone limp, bright dots of light flitting through your vision and you feel his mouth everywhere, like a soft, warm reassurance that he's not going anywhere while you spasm around him.
"Just like that, oh fuck, yeah just like that."
In this place of completeness, you bask in the rise in octave of his usually low timbred voice, in the way he's holding you so firmly in his arms, as if scared to let go and put even an inch of separation between the two of you.
You're still twitching when you feel him throb inside of you, your name a warm whisper against the side of your neck while he pumps himself into you with no real rhythm; filling the condom with spurts of his cum while your fingers gently scratch the back of his scalp, through his hair.
Your breaths are ragged and have only that in common, his weight comforting despite the fact that both of you are in such a fragile state. It all feels surreal, like maybe you’ll wake up soon even with his cock still buried inside of you, half hard. More than anything, it feels right. Apprehension nor guilt nor worry brews underneath your skin, instead overshadowed by pure elation.
Wet pecks travel across your throat like marks of gratitude and your smile is automatic, involuntary.
"I meant it, you know," he's out of breath but concise, palm cupping the side of your face as he makes his way to your mouth and kisses you there, afraid to look you in the eyes. "about...about what I want. About wanting you."
You actually do laugh this time, suddenly outrageously giddy at the words leaving his pretty mouth, mildly entertained by the fact that someone could be almost as oblivious as you are. Almost.
He looks worried for only a split second until you're kissing his face, over his nose and fuchsia cheeks, a feather against the soft autumn ground.
"I meant it too," your voice is light, airy and he swears he'd believe anything you told him, even if it weren't as absolutely resolute as it is right now; your smile against his lips like a seal of promise. He meets your gaze, and everything within him calms, settles.
"I'm yours. And you're mine."
This, he thinks to himself, is all he's wanted to hear since the day you looked up at him with all the stars in your eyes.
Completely worth Jaehyun stealing his Armani denim jacket, honestly.
#eheheheheheheheheh#devil emoji#smirk emoji#debby ryan face#johnny seo#johnny suh#johnny seo x reader#johnny suh x reader#johnny seo x reader smut#johnny suh x reader smut#nct x reader#nct x reader smut#nct 127#nct 127 x reader#nct 127 x reader smut#nct#nct johnny#nct 127 johnny#nct johnny x reader#johnny seo scenario#johnny suh scenario#johnny suh imagine#johnny seo imagine#nct imagine#nct 127 imagine#johnny seo x reader imagine#johnny suh x reader imagine#nct smut#nct 127 smut#college au
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Can you do headcanons for sapnap with a shy reader please?❤️💌
ALSO I LOVED LANDSLIDE IT CHANGED MY LIFE
shy!reader headcanons | sapnap
(gender neutral, non-au, this is less of a headcannon and more of a small story sorry about that)
listen to: georgia by vance joy
okay firstly to premise, i think sapnap is a pretty shy guy himself. he’s absolutely the guy who refuses to correct a waiter after they read their order back to him wrong
so he would get it. i don’t really think he would try to push you out of your comfort zone
lets say you guys met in a csgo lobby lol. sapnap was practicing before a stream, playing with strangers, and you popped up
and you didn’t speak for the first like. five rounds. you were AMAZING with last minute clutches but you never spoke so people just kind of assumed you didn’t have ur mic on
except one round, sapnap lost focus and nearly ruined the round, forgetting to call out his location for a cover
luckily you came in with the clutch and shot the enemy before they could get to sapnap, saving the round
and so while in the lobby, sapnap turns on his mic and just “[user], thanks for saving my ass out there.”
and your voice just comes through, a little clipped and very shy, “no problem,” before your mic is muted again
sapnap ends up saving ur gamer tag and inviting you whenever he needs someone to play with or fill a lobby
this turns into playing every day, and you guys become rlly good friends thru the screen. you both keep to yourselves for the most part, a strict csgo relationship if you will
and then sapnap is like. i rlly like them. i want to be their bestie.
so he asks if you want to play with him and his friends sometime, maybe in minecraft or jackbox
and you’re a little overwhelmed bc you know they have a decent online presence. but he’s nice to you and you don’t have many online friends so you say yes :)
and he’s like SO excited bc all of his friends are going to meet his new friend
only he’s been talking abt u to karl and dream and george and q for like. ages. since like. THE NIGHT he met u on csgo. (bc he’s a pisces and he gets v attached to anyone who breathes in his direction)
(i’m a pisces i can say it)
when you join the lobby (no one is streaming) he has the boys in a separate call to give him advice just in case he needs it
you don’t really speak unless spoken to, and when the boys get rlly loud they can kind of forget to include you
so sapnap always brings you back into the convo by asking you a question or making a quick joke
george in their chat: simp
you guys play jackbox, and you rlly like quiplash and survive the internet and others where you can just type
(and you’re really good at it like the boys think ur rly funny and clever)
but of course the boys want to play mad verse city, and you’re like,,, rlly nervous and don’t really want to rap,, so sapnap raps for you,, and he’s the loudest to hype you up after each of your verses
and you’d slowly get more comfortable with the boys. it’s easy to flow with them bc they’re so loud and obnoxious that you can mind your own business and still feel like part of their convos.
so anyways it’s months into your friendship, and sapnap has developed the fattest crush on you. if he’s not on call with the boys, he’s on call with you
chat knows about you bc sapnap always has you on his alt streams to talk and hang out with him. surprisingly, chat is very protective over you and cheer you on even if you’re on a different team than sap
i imagine sapnap gives you his minecraft info and lets you go around the dsmp the same way dream lets drista hang out with his info
just... a stream where he leads you around and just talks to you in vc while you share your screen with him,,, and chat is like. sapnap you are so in love.
you spend your time in the smp making a cottage and a house for yourself. you even tame a cat.
(it’s the first pet on the server that sapnap doesn’t try to kill. that’s how chat knows he’s in too deep.)
and the thing is,, he wants to ask u to be his s/o,, but you’re so shy that he has no idea how you feel about him
you’re not flirty and you’re friendly with everyone, so it’s hard to see any signs.
(sapnap is also just kinda dumb, bc he doesn’t realize that you only address him when you talk, you’re only comfortable in calls if he’s there too, you have made him a playlist called “sapnap <3”, you made him a flower garden in minecraft and literally mined netherite for him to return to when he came back on the server)
like sapnap is thinking on such a large scale that all of these little things you do don’t register as anything more than friendship
and he’s in call w the dteam one day and he’s just like “guys :/ idk if they like me :/”
dream calls him a dumbass
george hangs up
when george comes back, you join the call too, and sapnap can only assume george messaged you to join
“tell them, sapnap”
“george you’re such an idiot, y/n don’t listen to him we were just messing around.”
“okay,” you say. “but i’m here to talk if you ever need me.”
sapnap wants to burst because he likes you so much, he’s just so terrified of messing up what you guys have that he would rather stay silent
he doesn’t want to run you off, but he doesn’t want you to think he doesn’t like you either
“can i call u?” he asks “without these two nimrods to hear us?”
you agree, and you start talking as soon as you two are in a separate call. “sap? are you okay? you’ve been acting weird lately.”
“i rlly like you,” he just blurts it out, because it’s the easiest way for him. he can’t take it back, but at least you know.
“oh,” you say, voice just as timid as it was that first csgo game ages ago. “i like u too”
cue blushy sapnap
always talks about you on stream. you don’t join streams too much bc they make you nervous, but you’re always talked about lol
sapnap will bring you up literally every day on twitter or smth
when the two of you finally meet in person, you’re both so shy that dream has to start the convos for the first hour or so
but once you get comfortable it’s like two long lost souls
you guys just fit
sapnap speaks up when you’re quiet, and vice versa
you guys get ur own shared mc server and sapnap kills mods while you plant flowers
you use your twitter to show off your builds and sapnap always retweets and hypes you up
he suggests you stream your builds but it’s something you just like to do on your own, so you decline. sometimes you’ll appear on his streams and give his chat a lil tour tho :’)
sapnap is pretty protective over you. he will fight anyone for u <3 that’s just how he is lmao.
you get along with everyone pretty well though, and sapnap fits in with your friends as well
it’s still mostly a long distance relationship, but the two of you are used to it so you make it work
and sapnap will correct a waiter if they get your order wrong. so, character development.
thanks for requesting and for liking landslide !!
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hi? so this is my first time requesting so i don't really know what to say but can i request quarantine dad hcs but with kaminari,kirishima and sero,pleaseee? and btw i really really love your writingssss💖
waoww I’m honored to b ur first, anon ><
quarantine dad headcanons with:
kaminari denki, kirishima eijiro, hanta sero
gn!reader :)
modernworld!au
original quarantine dad hcs
kaminari denki
lemme j say that it’s chaos
he will literally get 0 ZERO work done bc he’s j fooling around with your kid
lucky for him, his work and boss are pretty flexible so turning things a few minutes late aren’t a biggie
you on the other hand, could use some peace and quiet
now that you’re both working from home, you only have one surface to work on: your dining table, and you share that with your husband
except he can't sit still so your kid will go up to him to play and he'll reach out to tickle them, jiggling the table and causing you to lose your focus
you've contemplated going to a nearby cafe like Starbucks with good wifi but the thought of leaving your husband and child alone threw that thought out the window
it was distracting but it also meant ur breaks were never boring
if it was takeout day, you'd all sit around the table and enjoy your little meals, your kid swinging their legs underneath the table, kicking you or your husband
but if there were any important meetings, kami will understand if you need privacy and he'll take your kid out to the park
at the end of the day, they're both knocked out on the couch, cute
kirishima eijiro
he is #1 daddy
can litrally handle his kid while paying attention and being professional in his work/meetings
man ok just imagine boss!kirishima who’s always giving his coworkers a good time with him being so chill and relaxed, they don’t mind at all if his kid pops in to say hi
it’s just adorable and squeezes their hearts aww cuz the kid is like kirishima but copy paste
if he’s not working, he’ll be playing with the kid and occasionally shushing them cuz “mommy/daddy’s working” and then for no reason the two of them will break out into giggles
he’ll have a break where he’ll chop up fruit and have ur kid prepare drinks and they bring it to u in a tray
ur kids jumping around all “I poured the drink! I did!!”
and they just won’t leave the room so kirishimas gotta throw them over his shoulder
also very careful when you guys go out
if the kid fusses with the mask, y’all j can’t go out 🤷🏽♀️das the rule
“But daddyyy I want to go play and drink cawfee”
“Coffee?? since when do u drink coffee”
“since I put bean’s in my water!”
Keep in mind they’re like 5
but the rule is no mask no going out and he’s rly strict on it
hanta sero
very similar to kaminari except he knows when to stop
ur kid is young so they’ll need naps and all
and...so does ur hubby
yes he’ll have the two of them camp out in the living room while u work at the table
he’s got the cushions and a huuuge blanket that is often used to fit the 3 of u under it for movies
honestly, it’s tempting to wrap the both of them into a blanket burrito
I’m hungry now damn
but if he’s not sleeping it out with his kid, sero will join you at the table, giving you any drinks or snacks u want, even cleaning up the house a little
Either that orrrr he’ll be bored and go bother u
poking ur sides, having one sided staring contests and wiggling eyebrows
it leaves u giggling cuz u can’t focus
and when he’s working, don’t even bother doing the same, he’ll give u the look like just u wait...
at the end of the day, it’s the 3 of u talking abt ur day but here’s how it goes down
“So how was ur day dad?” U ask him
“Oh you know the usual, going to work, commuting to the kitchen, putting my little colleague to sleep.”
ur kid places a hand on his and giggles, “I’m not a colee!!”
“What about you babe?” He asks.
“Hmm, I went to the zoo today and watched these cute animals play with each other but then they got tired and fell asleep on my couch!”
and for a min ur kid believes you
turning to sero, they ask, “daddy can we go tomorrow? To see? Pleaseee”
and the two of you crack up cuz ur kid got the colleague joke but not this
pls this is so cute
bnha masterlist
#hanta sero x y/n#hanta sero x reader#hanta sero x you#hanta sero fluff#hanta sero headcanons#hanta sero hcs#hanta sero imagine#hanta sero scenario#kaminari fluff#kaminari x y/n#kaminari x reader#kaminari x you#kaminari x male reader#kaminari imagine#kaminari scenario#kaminari headcanons#kaminari hcs#kirishima x gn!reader#kirishima x gender neutral reader#kirishima x reader#kirishima x male reader#kirishima x female reader#kirishima x y/n#kirishima x you#kirishima fluff#kirishima imagine#kirishima scenarios#kirishima headcanon#kirishima hcs
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Hello! I've enjoyed your hermitcraft au tremendously over the last few days, they've filled the void I've expirienced by missing EVERY LAST ONE OF TECHNOS STREAMS BECAUSE HE NEVER ANOUNCES THEM. ehem. I mean- it's a really cool story and I love your style! I just read the last bit of the dream invasion and now I am really excited for Dream on the Hermitcraft server? I assume he probably won't stay there. He's a warrior after all, not just by need but by choice. He's good at it - one of the best and hermits are.. Well, peaceful, ain't they? Plus, there is a country waiting for him back home. But I like the idea that perhaps he stays a little. So X can make sure he really did get all of the dreamon out. Doc possibly does some experiments on him for that - experiments are sort of his thing, after all, as the local crazy mad scientist and everything.
And all the while dream can get better. Sure he is a fighter and all but...the dreamon was with him for so long, it has to be traumatizing as all hell. I like the idea that he gets a bit of time to heal on the hermitcraft server. That Tommy helps him a bit - as much as he can without picking at his own trauma too much. That he learns to be at least a little more peaceful, learns that if people are allowed some peace they can make wonderful things. All the sights on the hermitcraft server are so impressive and I imagine dream is just as astounded that no one griefs them as Tommy is. Especially if so many hermits are just horrible at pvp (not just compared to his standards, he's used to that, but just objectively) they should really be to weak to keep their creations safe.
But still they're peaceful. No powerstruggle, no oppression. It's astounding - to dream anyways. Would that work back home? If he could take a little bit of this mindest back home, perhaps it could help him make up for all the horrible shit he did with dreamon?
If you're up for that, do you mind perhaps writing a little thing about something in that direction? I just want to see the green boy get better - specifically in ur style bc, as stated above, it's a pretty amazing writing style and I have fallen in love
Reconstruction of the Hermitcraft shopping district doesn’t take long. It wasn’t obliterated the way Old L’Manberg was, and there are a lot of hermits with lots of building materials and lots of ideas on how to make the shopping district even better than it was before. Dream revives everyone from the Dream SMP, even the ones who lost their last canon life in the battle, because “canon lives” are a concept that the dreamon came up with anyway. All the Dream SMP people return to their own server, save Dream himself. Tommy takes Dream to the little forested clearing he knows like the back of his hand by now: the waterfall he’s poured hours and gallons into, the cozy cottage, the library tower which hides his secret underground drug lab.
Tommy considers making Dream a house to live in. It would be spruce and cobble, and match the rest of Tommy’s builds. Tommy’s been meaning to try a trick Bdubs showed him involving trap doors and slabs, anyway.
Instead, Tommy gives Dream a shulker box full of stone bricks, random types of logs, and colored glass, then invites Bdubs and Grian over to help Tommy build a guest cabin, for when people visit him. Dream sits high up in a tree, carving random designs into a shield, and pretends that he isn’t paying attention. Still, once the builders are gone, Dream builds his own house using the advice the two hermits gave to Tommy. It doesn’t match, and it’s awkwardly square. It’s the prettiest thing Dream’s ever built.
Dream mulls over some advice he’d heard Grian depart on Tommy-- maybe he should strip the logs in this bit of his house? He doesn’t realize he’s talking aloud. Tommy tosses an unenchanted iron axe at the ground for Dream to pick up. The speedrunner freezes, recalling the many times Tommy’s given him tools, and the explosions that destroyed said tools. But no, Tommy’s got an enchanted netherite pickaxe in his hand, which he twirls idly as he discusses the pros and cons of stripping the logs on the corner of Dream’s house.
The house Dream builds is just one room. It’s got everything he needs: a bed, a double chest, a crafting table (embedded in the floor for conservation of space), a furnace, and an anvil. He spends more time in Tommy’s house than his own. Tommy’s home has a fireplace, with campfires that softly puff smoke out the chimney; the house has a dedicated bedroom with End rods that glow just enough, and in the main room his things are stored in barrels instead of chests even though it’s less efficient this way. A stonecutter perches itself on a raised trapdoor at waist height, sitting placidly next to some sea pickles.
Jealousy pricks at Dream’s eyes. He’s so smart, he’s the Manhunt champion, a PvP legend, MCC winner. Why does he feel dumb because he doesn’t know how to make a house look like a home?
The hermits don’t extend any offers of help. He thinks they might be wary of him; yet, whenever he meets their eyes they have nothing but kind smiles for him. Are they trying to trick him or something?
Tommy understands. The hermits know better than to offer to help Dream right now. If Dream is anything like Tommy, he’ll accept the help with suspicions of espionage at best, and outright refuse what he perceives as pity at worst.
Tommy imparts what he’s learned on Dream. The role reversal’s irony is not lost on either of them. Still, Dream swallows his pride and learns how to create depth in a build, what an observer clock is, how to craft all the useless pretty blocks that he’d never bothered with before. Tommy’s painstakingly disinfected his own emotional wounds; the hermits have spent months of trial and error trying to learn how to help him heal. Dream’s a speedrunner, and Tommy’s got the strats. He’d sooner die than say it out loud, but now’s his time to practice what he’s learned and help Dream speedrun getting some fucking therapy-- one semi-ugly build at a time.
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