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crazyk-imagine · 9 months

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Hey! I just read your Jamie Tartt fic where the reader is pregnant and I freaking loved it! It kind of got me thinking about Jamie bringing his little girl, cause he’s totally gonna be a girl dad, to the pitch for practice. She’s like 4 or 5, really young and wearing a Tartt jersey and has the entire team wrapped around her finger, especially Roy.. bonus if her favorite player is someone else on the team, any of them, and Roy and Jamie get jealous… if you could write it great! If not no worries! Thanks for the consideration! 🥰🥰

Abdicated Family Issues

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Pregnant!Reader

Characters: Jamie Tartt, Pregnant!reader, Tartt Toddler, Baby Tartt, Roy Kent, Dani Rojas, Jan Maas (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Fluff, Jamie being a dramatic bitch, Jealous Roy and Jamie, Toddler Tartt bouncing off the walls because of her fun day at dad's work, Roy didn't ask for this, he didn't plan on being involved, Jamie being a sad little baby thinking his baby girl doesn't like him (anymore), Jamie and Roy need comforting, reader becomes their therapist for a second, Dani being a sweetheart (ofc)

Word Count: 1,432

A/N: Ahhh, love, love, love it!! I thought who better to make Jamie just a little jelly than Dani aka the other ace on the team. Roy being involved and jelly is a plus.

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You smile when you get a text from your boyfriend.

Baby 💕

"Leaving now. Will be home soon" 2:19pm Sent Read

Darling 💓

"See you two soon 💕" 2:27pm Sent Read

As soon as you get comfortable your boyfriend lays beside you. “How am I supposed to feel?” Jamie whines to you, crawling onto your lap.

“Can you back-up to the beginning of your story? I have no idea what’s happened, and you pretended like I came onto the field with you," you tell him, rubbing your slowly growing belly.

He smiles and adjusts himself so he lays by your side, head resting on your shoulder so he can also rub your belly.

"Tell me why you look like my sad Jaim."

"She-"

"Dani is so cool!"

You glance away from your excited and jumpy daughter to your even more depressed boyfriend.

"Why don't you tell your mum what you told me?" Ron's voice echoes throughout the hallway as he closes the front door.

"Dani did this really cool move and- and-"

You try and shush, "babes. Babes." You sigh when you don't get her attention. "Honey, take a breath and breathe. I want to hear about your exciting day, but you can only do it if you talk a little slower."

She stares at you.

Roy grabs a seat on one of the chairs you keep out for company (because the team comes over more often than you'd like, right now being pregnant; they take a lot of you). "Why don't you tell her more about the fun you had today?"

"Jan's really tall and gave me piggyback rides while dad was practicing, even though he should have been too."

"You made it fun, Baby Tartt."

You furrow your brows, unsure of who said that.

Roy shrugs and mouths, "phone."

Jamie slumps further into your side.

You open your arms, wanting to pull your baby girl in for a hug and make a poor attempt at trying to get the phone before your chatty girl drops it.

Meaning you two would need to buy another phone (your goal is to make it last six more months).

The screen shifts to the ceiling before Dani's face pops up. "Hi. How are you? Do you need some of my family's special pregnancy soup?"

You smile and shake your head. "No, thank you, Danny. I appreciate the offer though."

"Of course, of course."

"So, how was today's practice? I hope it was alright."

"Oh, it was great. Baby Tartt shows promise to follow in her father's footsteps."

"Oh, does she?"

He nods, "yes, yes. I showed her a few moves and-"

"More like took her attention from me," Jamie grumbles.

Roy scoffs.

You shake your head, wanting to listen to what Dani's saying without commentary from the peanut gallery.

It only lasts two minutes longer until you can't take it anymore.

"Dani- dani- I'm sorry, I'm feeling a little nauseous and I don't want to keep you any longer. I know you have other things to do. I'm sure we'll talk more soon."

"Alright, I’ll leave you to rest. I know how much a woman in your condition needs her rest, especially with Jamie’s baby.”

Your boyfriend beside you grumbles, “what does that mean?”

“You are a good football player, meaning you have strong kicks.”

He doesn’t respond but you do know that Dani’s comment uplifted his mood just a little bit.

“I hope you have a good rest of your evening and get plenty of rest,” the excited player waves to you.

Your daughter leans in, waving. “Bye, Dani! I’ll come by so we can practice more.”

“That is good to hear. I can’t wait until your next visit.”

You end the call and look up. “Sweetie?”

Jamie and your daughter look at you; you pat your boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Not you, J.” You glance back at your adorable baby girl. “Can you go get me my special blanket? I’m feeling a little cold.”

She nods, “okay.”

“I can help-”

You shake your head, “nope. Neither of you are leaving this room until you confess.”

“Confess? Confess what?” Jamie asks.

“You know what. You two have never looked more upset and depressed at the same time. I want to know why so I can help you.”

Roy clenches his jaw.

“You don’t have to say much, Roy. But you, my dear Jaim, have to give me something so I can figure out whether or not a hug will suffice for right now.”

He groans and removes himself from you, throwing himself onto the other side of the couch. “She likes him more.”

Your head snaps over at the gruff man. “What?”

He sighs, “your future athlete, liked Dani more than she liked her dad on the field today.”

“And you,” Jamie points at him. “Don’t throw me under the bus and expect me to just sit here and let you-”

You grab Jamie’s hand, intertwining your fingers, “stop it. There’s no need to fight.”

The older man crosses his arms. “But it’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair? I need you to explain to me because I have no idea what it is or how to help you.”

“She wanted to practice more with Dani than she did me. I mean, how does that make sense? How is that fair? I’m her fuckin’ dad, you know.”

A small smile tugs at the corner of your lips. “Jaim, you shouldn’t feel that way.” You brush away the hair that falls in front of his eyes.

“How else am I supposed to feel? Made me feel like- I don’t know.”

“You do know but I won’t push you because I know it’s the fact that Roy’s here. But please don’t worry about that-”

“Well, how else am I supposed to feel?”

You sigh. “Jamie, she’s wearing your number and has your name on the back of her jersey. She may want to hang out with him a few times but you’re her dad. You’re her number one player.”

Roy clearing his throat makes you roll your eyes, “and you as well, you big baby.”

The gruff man smirks in return, not wanting you to know how that makes him feel (special).

You return your attention to your boyfriend. “You are the reason she loves the sport, without you, who knows what she’d be obsessed with other than her toys, you know. I mean, you helped her find her future.”

He finally looks at you for the first time since he got home. “I did?”

You nod, smiling at him. “Of course, you fucking did because you are Jamie Tartt. Best girl dad ever, Jamie Tartt.”

He cups your cheek before leaning in to kiss you.

You pull back with a gasp as a wide smile dances across your lips.

“What is it?”

“Someone’s also trying to show you that they’re your number one fan with their strong kicks.” You grab his hand and hold it over the spot.

The exciting moment between you two is broken when a certain ex-player’s hand hovers over your belly.

“Come here, you quiet old man.”

“Oi.”

You raise a brow at him.

“I’m not that old.”

“I found it.”

You all turn to find your daughter trapped underneath the blanket.

“Roy, go help her before she trips, please.”

Your boyfriend takes this opportunity to whisper sweet promises to the baby.

Once your daughter is free and can see properly, she watches the two of you. “What are you two doing?”

“Your sibling is kicking,” he tells her.

Her eyes widen and she rushes towards you, wanting to feel the kicks as well.

Jamie grabs her hand so the two of them can feel the baby kicking together.

You glance over at Roy, who’s set the blanket off the side; he waves at you before leaving.

“Are you two having fun?”

They nod, not wanting to break their concentration.

You groan, throwing your head back.

“What? What is it?” Jamie asks, worried something’s wrong.

“You two keep pushing the baby onto my bladder and guess what?”

“I’ll help you up.” He gets you up with no problems. He leans closer to your ear, whispering, “all you need to do is ask, darling.”

You narrow your eyes to him. “Really? You really want to get cheeky with me, Tartt.”

He only smiles and walks with you to the bathroom.

“Go spend time with your daughter before she’s old enough to go out on dates.”

“Don’t do that to me.” And he’s back in the living room.

You chuckle, finding it too easy to rile him up.

#ted lasso #ted lasso imagine #ted lasso imagines #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fanfiction #jamie tartt #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt imagines #crazyk-imagine

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misty-doodles · 1 year

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AIB Executive Board found family HC's

shout out to @bdanp, thank you for the lovely content, I wish to add my own.

Hehehe I love the idea of these fools being a dysfunctional family unit. I literally need semi-wholesome content on the beach members because otherwise I will lose it. The AIB fandom has really brought out my drive, bc I will be the change I wish to see in the fandom space. Uh, they are dysfunctional with a capital D, so this isn't entirely wholesome, but I'm writing this, so you can't be too surprised.

Today on the board; Aguni, Kuzuryuu, Mira, and Chishiya

-Aguni, Hatter, and Kuzuryuu are the father figures to the group. -Aguni and Hatter used to date but are still friends who maybe have lingering feelings. Who knows. -Aguni just fucking sighs and has to drag them around when they're being stupid, especially the militants. -Has a special soft spot for Arisu once he joins bc he's so hopeful and sweet, and he likes having a moral compass around. Arisu is also the only heart specialist who doesn't resort to murder -He's the only one Niragi listens to, which is why he's the only diamond orientated militant. -Hates the beach and everything it stands for, bc he knows it's a lie. He misses the Hatter before the beach ruined him, and his feelings for him are forever tainted. Tries not to make their history the beach's problem.

-Kuzuryuu didn't even realize he was a dad, he's just fucking there. He's the calm fatherly validation half the board craves, and he has 0 questions. -He has favorites, and it's the exec's diamond trio (Ann, Chishiya, and Niragi) -Fully supports Chishiya's tinkering hobby. Told him that if being a doctor didn't work out, then he should go into STEM. -Finds the entire beach to be a headache, but does genuinely care for the exec members. -Best friends with Mira, who's taken up the role as wine aunt. She's the one who convinced him to come check out the beach. They both help put the exec members into games they're good at.

-Mira interacts with everyone with a Gatekeep Gaslight Girlboss energy about her that freaks everyone else out. She's fully capable of making normal expressions, but chooses to smile her way through everything. -Unironically plays therapist to the exec board bc she was/is a licensed psychiatrist, and they're all so mentally fucked up. She does it in the 'I can't make you better or worse, but I can figure out what's so funky about you' kinda way. She mostly does this to Niragi and Arisu, and also maybe Hatter when he's around. -Casually threatens everyone's life subtly and offers 0 explanations. She's unironically the scariest person at the beach, bc she's so unsettling. -enjoys girls night with Ann, Kuina, and Usagi whenever she's invited, and gets her hair braided -She makes the most references to memes along with hatter, to the annoyance of literally everyone else.

-Chishiya stares in silent judgment whenever he has to fix up an injury, frequently pulls out the 'I'm just a med student' and 'i work with children' cards to get out of things. Makes jokes about just letting them die to scare them. -He wears hoodies everywhere he goes bc they're his comfort clothing item and no one comments on it. Uses big medical words in casual convo to irritate the execs. Autism creature #1, I'm right. -Hates being touched unless he initiates it or gives permission, and is very firm about this boundary. Arisu once tried to hug him and got tased. He didn't try again.

-Silent rage towards Ann for being so goddamn tall. Wears chunky sneakers to appear slightly taller (a/n no genuinely, look in the show those are 2-inch shoes) -He sees Niragi as the worst version of himself, and it honestly freaks him out sometimes. Entirely neutral on his existence most of the time, but finds bickering with him amusing. -Chishiya simply doesn't express himself like everyone else, but he does feel the normal range of human emotions. Mira mentioned him possibly being neurodivergent.

-Kuzuryuu is his dad and that's fine with him

Comeback next time for the rest, bc it's like 3 pages on my Google Docs, and that's too much for one post.

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rockinlibrarian · 7 months

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For the writing ask game: 2, 6, & 7 ^_^

Yay! An ask from the actual AUTHOR of The Happy Fic Writer Ask Game reblogged here, who is famous for also once, see question 13, guessing my TUA Masked Author submission by title alone!

So let's start with 2. Talk about a favorite comment you received.

I think the one that jumps out at me is from a "Guest" who I believe I've since come to know as "hc-silver" on the Summerland Discord, on "Two (or Three) Mutant Freaks and the Strictly Scholarly Collaboration":

"Your dedication to the interpersonal relationships shows; I would go as far as to say its your strong suit! The interactions are true to the characters and not contrived. For me it makes your work a pleasure to read."

That just gave me all the warm fuzzies! Such a genuine compliment about something I always try hardest to get right!

Runner-ups to Lovely_Number_7's "Reread this is amazing" on "On Soul Mates and Nemeses" because it's what it says on the tin-- someone is REREADING this because they think it's AMAZING; and to this guy in @destinyandcoins's reply to the aforementioned Masked Author submission "How to Catch Up with your Therapist after a Couple of…Busy Months":

I just like looking at that guy, he makes me laugh.

6. Describe what you do and your feelings after posting a chapter.

Well. I link it in relevant social media locales, and then usually end up clicking through the link and rereading it immediately, just to get the experience of reading it like other people will be reading it. Then I refresh to see if anyone else has found it yet! They inevitably haven't, so I noodle around on the internet for awhile, then keep refreshing and/or checking gmail to see if anyone has commented yet! This probably still hasn't happened! But I keep doing it! Then the next morning at about 6:45 is when AO3 sends the "You've Got Kudos!" email notifications, so I attempt to keep my pants on until then. If no one has Kudoed it by that first morning, I get down, but then immediately start going through my other WIPs to decide which one is closest to being publishable so that I can hurry on to the NEXT source of potential validation!

7. What do you love most about being a fic writer for your fandom?

I don't know, I guess I just love playing with characters. It's like that scene in one of the Anne books, maybe Anne of Avonlea, where she's like "It's just a string of fancies! I enjoy writing such things, but editors insist on PLOTS!" which I have always identified with. It's ACCEPTABLE to write fanfic that's basically just "characters do stuff" without any world-stopping plot-building on my part!

Fandom-specifically, which the question seems to be leaning toward, I don't know, because I'm a multi-fandom writer anyway. Legion I am one of the ONLY writers for, so there I feel a bit, um, knowledgeable I guess? So, confident. But it makes me a little sad that "The Magic Man of Oz," possibly the coolest fic I have ever written, therefore has like no audience. And it also makes me sad that, being pretty much the only person in the fandom writing about the Summerland founders, I always have to write it in order to read it, which is why I requested it on the Yuletide exchange!

My fandom with the second-highest number of fics written (and highest number of fics READ), Umbrella Academy, I still feel kind of like the dork on the sidelines saying, "Hi, I'm here too!" And currently the only other fandom with more than one fic posted at all is the MCU, and two fics in the MCU, one of which is really more of a Wrinkle in Time fic anyway and which I swear has not been abandoned, is like one molecule of salt in the ocean.

I have been enjoying browsing all the requests for Yuletide, because there are so many ITTY BITTY fandoms that make me go wow, I never thought of fanfic for that, I can't wait to read it! One prompt was so brilliant I'm writing it as a Treat even though it's not my official assignment. My official assignment is actually for a fandom I was surprised is even eligible for Yuletide, but I'd better stop talking now. I'm very bad at writing surprises.

#ask game #writing #fanfic

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whatimdoing-here · 1 year

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Seizure talk under cut because I need to talk it out.

After not having one since basically January, I've had 2 in just over 2 weeks. Last night's was the worst in over a year. It's also the first one I've had start when I was awake in almost 3 years (2nd time ever out of 12).

I was getting small fry in bed, had tucked him in, and noticed I was having a little sensory one, but then it didn't end, and I could not comprehend what he was saying. So I got up and by the time I hit the hallway I knew it wasn't going to, so I mentioned it as much as I could to M, but at that point I was losing my ability to say words, too.

Laid down, knew it was getting worse, and then the next thing I remember is M talking to me. He gets me to come around and then asks all the questions to make sure I'm okay (that you're supposed to ask when someone seizes). Problem being THAT part is super anxiety inducing to me, because I still have trouble understanding him, and I legitimately can't figure it out at first. Last night took longer than normal for me to fully be able to answer who I am, who he is, what happened, where we were. All the while I'm also frustrated as fuck and pissed because I hate this more than I can say. That my brain freaks out and electrocutes me and there's nothing I can do. Last night I only convulsed for a minute, but then was still unconscious for another two, then took about a half hour to be able to really converse.

I also worry about the nerve endings in my arm. I've been having a lot of arm pain. There weren't any obvious triggers yesterday, which is also worrisome. Besides maybe getting close to ovulation. The day after the one two weeks ago was pretty terrible. Hopefully today will be better, though my head is killing me.

All the while, I'm also really worried about M. It's not easy to watch someone you love go through this I'm sure. Last night he seemed especially not okay after I was okay. He doesn't let on about it, but the way he's quiet and just obviously worried. Also I think that on a normal week he would have been working last night isn't lost on him. T dude knows what he's supposed to do if it happens, but it's still scary.

Ugh. Words can't explain how much I hate this. I constantly have anxiety over any little thing that could be a preseizure symptom even though 99% of the time it's not, and even if it is there's literally nothing I can do about it. You can't stop a seizure. And overall I don't have a bad case I don't know how people deal with more than this. And now of course I'm like do I have a brain tumor? Is something else going on?

That's all. I'm sad, frustrated, pissed. Needed to rant about it.

(also this is why talking to my therapist about what my life/relationship would look like if m and i split or opened up our marriage is so scary to me.)

#i have rhe next 5 days off so that's good

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silentwillowwhisperer · 1 year

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I guess you guys get to know more about me.

Alright guys Imma do this because my writer's block is being mean to me and I have a headache from crying too much. (Don't worry, I'm fine, I'll explain later in this post.)

Oh and before I forget, thank you @lady-of-nightmares-and-sin for the tag.

I apologize for my mega-long ramble answers.

-----

Named after anyone?

Noop. I have actually never met anyone with the same name as me, though there is a name that comes close that I hear ALL THE TIME. People won't even read my name all the way and just assume that it's the more common version, and it veeery slightly ticks me off.

2. Last time you cried?

Today! It is the last day of school, and an important person/mentor/counselor/friendly-figure is leaving to go to another school closer to her house. Ummmmn... I kinda sobbed for 50 minutes straight, and EVERYONE was staring at me until they started crying too because this important figure is a SAINT and we a love her. I was the worst though. Once I start, I absolutely CANNOT stop. (My friends were all extremely concerned for me, but that's ok, goddammit I'm gonna see these people again next year, I totally just broke down in front of all these people, crap.)

3. Do you have any kids?

Agh. No. I'm... no. Would I be interested later in life? Perhaps. For now Imma try to survive my younger siblings. Also, I'm holding off on dating for a while, (by that I mean like 2-5 years). And even then it would be a long time before I would even CONSIDER raising a child with someone. So I don't have to worry about me-spawns for a good bit.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Nah, that doesn't fit my personality very well. However, I do this thing where I'll turn up the brightness in my voice and say something that's supposed to be sarcastic and no one can ever tell if I'm being serious or not. Wow. I doubt that any of that made sense.

5. What is the first thin g you notice about people?

Their actions and/or habits. I tend to pick up on other people's fidgets really fast. Also, I'm not even gonna approach you if you don't act like a decent human being through the way you move. In theory, that makes no sense, but I swear I'm not judgmental, I have a process.

6. Color of your eyes?

They look black, but they're obviously just suuuper dark brown. They look kinda cool when I hold a flashlight up to them though. By that I mean that you can see the 3-Dness of them, but they don't have much color in general.

7. Scary movie of happy ending?

Guys. Do I seem like the kind of person who can deal with scary crap? No. Hard pass. I'm an animation child. Lemme tell you, the ending of She-Ra was TOP TEIR. I was crying my eyes out and screeching at the cuteness of this CANONIC GAY COUPLE at the same time. You know what? I'm giving you homework. Go watch She-Ra if you haven't already, and if you have come talk to me about how hot Scorpia is.

8. Any special talents?

I love how these questions are meant to be interesting, but I'm not an interesting person. I... can do a clover with my tongue?

9. Where were you born?

Normally I wouldn't answer, but I'm proud so Imma tell you. California. Now leave before I start singing California Girls.

10. Hobbies?

Stop I'm so basic. Art, reading, writing, music, taking pictures of my friends and stashing them away for further use (Whaaat, no, me? Creepy? Neveeeer.)

11. Pets?

Do my siblings count? JK, no, I love them (88% of the time). I'm not even gonna start on my ramble in here, I'd rather not write (another) paragraph answer.

12. Sports?

Nope, stay away, noooooo.

13. Height?

These questions are starting to freak me out. Can someone stalk you based on height??? I know I sound paranoid, but stay away.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Social Studies! Though people have said that next year's course is gonna be boring.

15. Dream job?

Therapist/phycologist of some kind. Talking to other people about their problems makes me reaaally unreasonably happy. I have this one friend who likes to talk to me because something about my weird eccentric self giving her advice helps her, and as much as I don't like seeing her sad, when she is it makes me feel very helpful and valued. Anyway, if any of you ever need to talk, I'm always willing to lend an ear. <3

I'd also like to be an author because, writing. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

------

Once again, thank you for the tag.

I'm tagging:

@lilcatastrophe (sorry, I do this to you a lot)

@haunted-glassesgurl

@blobfish-whisperer

No pressured, feel free to ignore me! Byeeee!

#i was tagged #i'm rambling again #tawny post

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gooeyslime · 2 years

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Idea 5: Vanessa visits the graves of her victims and sees ghosts

An idea that I've seen exceedingly few fics try and cover is Vanessa encountering the ghosts of the people whom she (as Vanny) murdered after the 3-star ending.

I am unsure as to how one would make this situation happen. Maybe it could be a dream.

A scenario that I like most has to do with the idea that Vanessa visits the graves of the children she (no vanny) killed. After she was freed, she reported the location of the bodies so that they could recieve a proper burial. Vanessa knows that it isn't enough, she doesn't think that she will ever be able to do enough to atone for what she did to all of those children (it wasn't you, it was Vanny.) At the very least she tries to go and visit their graves once a week, making sure to bring flowers for them everytime. Vanessa doesn't say anything during the visits, what is there to say? "I'm sorry?" Yeah right, as if SHE is deserving of forgiveness...

I really like it because there are a lot of things you could potentially cover, including:

How would the ghosts react to seeing the freed Vanessa? Would the children be enraged? If so, what would they do?

Or would they be able to see that the person in front of them is not really the same as the one who murdered them, not mentally, at least? Maybe (relating back to idea 2) the children who were taught by her would be able to convince the other children of this.

How about the therapists? They would likely be more willing to listen, being adults trained in understanding psychological conditions.

One could discuss how Vanessa has been dealing with having 2 sets of childhood memories, a fake abusive one (put there by Glitchtrap for reasons of trying to make her more obedient, which ended up failing) and her true, standard, evidently normal one. (in this universe patient 46 and their tapes didn't exist, save for that one line about lying about childhood, just pretend it was in one of Vanessa's tapes)

And, of course, we can't forget Vanessa. What would she do? It is most likely that she would curl up into a ball and await the punishment that she thinks she deserves (she doesn’t). After all, it is HER fault, right? (No, it’s Vanny's.)

If you include Gregory in this encounter, he, being the "no fear" gremlin that he is, would probably try and start to defend his… uh… paternal guardian of unspecified rank in some way, either by trying to explain that Vanny is no more, or try and actually fight the ghosts.

As you can see, there are many ways that I think someone can make a mini story out of this concept.

I agree, as you said you can do a lot with that and we need more stories of Vanessa acknowledging the victims and go in depth about her getting manipulated by Afton and how she truly regrets helping him. Plus we need more stories where we get a more in-depth look at Vanessa and her inner turmoil post 3 star ending.

Also I find the mental image of Gregory being ready to throw hands with ghosts incredibly funny but honestly him being there and being so ready to defend her, especially if she's not defending herself or even agreeing with what they're saying, would probably make the ghosts be willing to listen at the very least.

If I had to write my own story I'd probably have the kids be angry at her, she freaks out knowing that Afton also had to deal with the angry ghosts of his victims which would make her feel like she's basically just like him, she killed them and they refuse to move on because of her so she runs away, upon finding out what happened Gregory insists on going with her the next day where he basically defends her from the ghosts' accusations since Vanessa isn't gonna do it herself. The ghosts would be shocked a kid is willing to defend her, especially as he tells them he almost got killed himself, they would still be wary of Vanessa but now are willing to at least listen to an explanation. It would probably take multiple days and maybe even a few recordings of like Freddy and the other animatronics talking about what really happened to finally convince them, it would also help Vanessa to stop comparing herself to Afton so much since she was basically brainwashed while Afton killed while in full control of his body and mind.

Honestly I might just turn this into an actual fic eventually... While I am working on writing my own AU it's gonna take me forever to finish it just because I am rewriting the entire plot of all the games while this would take way less time and if nobody is gonna make more content about this I might as well do it myself lol

#ask #halogenrobotics #fnaf #fnafsb #vanny fnaf #vanessa fnaf #gregory fnaf

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 3 months

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no tws, looking for reassurance + advice

I have NPD and I recently fucked up in a friendship partially because of that. Because of a combination of that and my extreme avoidance issues and me being bad at communicating I ended up causing a situation that hurt both me and the other person involved. I never meant to make them feel the way I did and I've apologized and taken accountability for it, and we're working through it, but I just. Don't know what to do about it on a personal level. I feel really bad about it in not exactly a guilt way but some kind of Bad and it's upsetting me. Even though I didn't communicate like I should have in the first place and that's what caused the situation, I did everything right afterwards to try to fix it/make it better. I feel like a bad person for fucking up even by accident though. And I don't know exactly what I'm feeling or why I'm still feeling it. The person isn't mad at me, though there are still some hurt feelings and problems to work through. Overall it turned out about as well as it could have, but I still feel panicky and gross. I know I should just feel my feelings instead of trying to get rid of them, but I don't like this and I want to stop feeling it and I want to stop thinking about the conflict as much as possible because it freaks me out. Anyways. Yeah. I'm not sure what to do about any of it and I just want to run away from the whole thing again, but that's part of what caused the problem in the first place

Hi anon,

It sounds like you might be dealing with impostor syndrome or something adjacent, where perhaps you feel like you're a bad person despite your attempts to rectify the situation. I'm curious if you think the stigma around having NPD fuels this feeling.

This is a great page about Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy's concept of Irrational Ideas. It's essentially a list of harmful thoughts followed by a bullet list of affirmations that help dispel that thought. I'd like you to read the bullet points under Irrational Idea No. 3. I'll share a few of them here (keep in mind a lot of these were written out in the 60s so it may not use the more inclusive language we have today):

Human beings are not perfect. They don’t have total control over all their actions. In the real world, we all make mistakes from time to time and treat others badly because (1) we don’t know any better; (2) we can’t do any better; or (3) we’re too disturbed. That’s just the way we are. Believing that others must do the right thing ignores the real world. Blaming and punishing someone for a mistake he makes because he doesn’t know any better will not make him smarter.

Blaming and punishing someone for a mistake he makes because he can’t do any better won’t help him to do it better next time. And blaming and punishing someone for a mistake he makes because he is disturbed won’t make him any less disturbed.

We all do lots of things everyday. Some of the things we do are “bad,” some are “good,” and some are neither “good” nor “bad.” The “bad” things we do don’t make us “bad people;” and the “good” things we do don’t make us “good people.”

From time to time it will be you who acts badly, selfishly or unfairly. Just like everyone else, there will be times when you make mistakes because you don’t know any better, can’t do any better or are disturbed. When it happens, you can tell yourself, “Oh well, that’s life! I guess I’m as human as everyone else. I’ll try not to do it again, but there are no guarantees.”

If you can access or afford it, I think a therapist could be a great option for a longer-term kind of help for navigating these issues and gaining a closer insight into your own behaviors or how your NPD influences them. They can also help you process your feelings of guilt around what happened recently with your friend.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks

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tahitianmangoes · 2 years

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A long, rambling non-fandom post about loneliness

So I've been using Bumble BFF (like bumble for dating but for friends) for around 3 months now and it's really not great.

I thought it would be a good idea to meet new people in my area because making friends as an adult is seriously hard. Pretty much everyone at work is older than me and while I don't mind having older friends, they're very different to me - mainly cishet white ladies who are married with kids. And as much as articles and blogs about making friends as an adult will tell you to just "put yourself out there", a) it's not that easy, esp during a pandemic and b) it's not normal. I can't just strike up conversation with someone at the gym because not only is that annoying, it can be taken the wrong way (ie people think I'm hitting on them) and just come off as plain weird. People don't really just strike up conversation with strangers here and if it does happen, you're spending the entire conversation wondering when this weirdo is going to leave you alone. I also think people can sense desperation. Clinging onto a new, potential friend too tightly can also drive them away because it freaks them out. Being too available, too happy to do this and that for people... It reminds me of some cringey times I had at uni when I was just trying so hard to connect with people that I ended up pushing them away because it made them feel uncomfortable. I think I do it to the majority of people, whether they be real life friends or online. It led me to start thinking maybe I'm just better off alone.

I decided to use Bumble BFF after seeing an ad for it but it just ends up with me matching with people, playing messaging ping pong with them for a bit until one of us forgets or gets busy and then that's the end of that. A couple people added me on What's App but one just messages me about Kpop stuff (as we're both into Kpop) and doesn't seem to have any intention of meeting up and the other ghosted me. I've also ran into some transphobic profiles too which is not encouraging. I actually had the premium account for a while as it was on a discount and found the experience to be better despite not meeting anyone in person as now I think I'm shown less profiles and I also can't filter people anymore. I just assumed that people using an app to get new friends would be more interested in... making friends? Maybe I'm wrong. Some people just seem to want to grow their social media followings, find travel/gig companions, housemates and unfortunately lots of the men seem to be using the friend app disingenuously.

All of this to say, I'm still super lonely and haven't made a friend since downloading the app.

So I took a step back. My therapist said that maybe it's hard for me to make friends when I'm working on myself, which I can understand. Although I started therapy and I've started taking meds, it's only the beginning of my journey. So I was excited when an acquaintance of mine messaged me following a post I made on IG during pride month about being nb/trans. I've never "come out" publicly as I feel it's not important. They are also trans and suggested we hang out sometime. I gave them my availability and that was 2 weeks ago. The message is marked as seen and they've just not replied. Maybe I should have known as they tried to organise a hang out between us before which never happened either so maybe they're just majorly flaky but I can't help but take it to heart. I've really wanted more trans and nonbinary friends but finding them is just so hard, especially ones more my age.

I had told my therapist about all of this, saying that once I had stopped looking for friends, this person came to me and wanted to hang. But that turned out not to be true. And now suddenly I feel like that person all those years ago at uni, stretching myself, changing myself, doing whatever it took just to get someone to come back to my flat and watch stupid movies with me and hang out like normal people do. And even now, years on, I'm still being rejected and ghosted. I still can't make people stay.

I'd never voiced that I was lonely until I spoke to my therapist. It feels so stupid. People my age shouldn't be lonely, I should have an army of pals that I go on nights out with, to festivals with, on holiday with. But the truth is I have 1 friend and although I love her, our relationship was built on toxic foundations and now I've been having therapy and thinking more about the past, I can see that they abused me when I was super vulnerable. Sure, people grow and change and I have no doubt that she has in the 10 years I've known her but I feel a certain way about what happened and what she did and feel like new relationships might be better for me.

So I guess I'll continue matching with people on Bumble BFF and never hanging out with them, I'll keep scouring local meet up boards to see if I can pluck up the courage to go to something and keep trying to find trans/non binary events in my city.

Years ago, when I was a teen, I went through this weird phase of being obsessed with Sex and the City. In the movie on New Year's Eve, Carrie goes across New York to Miranda who's moved to Brooklyn and is spending the New Year alone because her ex has their kid that weekend. Carrie turns up on the doorstep with takeout and they spend New Year together. For some reason, I have that imagine in my head of friendship. I know it's unrealistic, movies aren't realistic but one day it'd be great to find the Carrie to my Miranda.

#rambling #loneliness #lonely

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 3 years

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So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!”

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones

#actuallyautistic #not a shitpost #holy shit how did i spend 3 hours writing this what even is my blog #this blog is supposed to be blue whale anxiety and uncomfortably sexy clown jokes #what am i doing #sensory processing disorder #sensory issues #mental health #actually autistic #NOTIFY ME OF ANY TYPOS #i proofread this 5 times my eyes weep an unceasing flood of blood and regret #adhd #actuallyadhd #autism #sensory problems

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carriereedwrites · 2 years

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HOW TO (NOT) FEEL OVERWHELMED AS A WRITER

Life happens, ya'll. When it does, it hits hard and is unforgiving. And sometimes, the people in your life- as much they love you and vice versa- don't seem to understand why you're flailing about at 2 AM and crying into your cereal bowl.

Fear not, dear writer. I, too, have cried into a cereal bowl at 2AM and I will deftly defend your right to do so. But, allow me to offer... better... ways to deal with that overwhelming feelings of despair.

***NOTE: This does NOT replace professional advice in ANY way, shape or form. This is coming from someone who has a therapist. And this post is DEFINITELY not meant to down-play those who are struggling with mental health issues. You guys are amazing. I see you. Mmmkay?

Take deep fucking breaths, people. You're in it to fucking WIN IT.

"And, this too, shall pass..." is a good quote for a reason. Now, I won't get too much into Persian poetry. But basically, everything that has come to or ever will be, passes. This all-consuming feeling of anxiety or depression or doubt WILL pass.

Of course, your brain could be convinced but not your body. Which is why deep, calming breaths are essential to refocusing yourself. Go into your Don't-Touch-Me corner, hiss at everyone who comes near, and put on a five-hour rain drop loop on Youtube.

Also, you're a fucking WRITER. You create worlds out of nothing, give your characters hope and despair and love and hate. You can create political intrigue in a made-up empire or create a post-apocalyptic world. You are amazing and wonderful! Don't let shitty feels keep you down, you fucking superstar.

Write out your feelings. And no, don't do it from a character's POV.

This isn't an opportunity to write a story. I'm serious. Don't belittle or disrespect yourself by writing your feelings and struggles from a character's point-of-view. We may want to do it to lessen the blow, but then you bury yourself in a fictional world when your troubles are tangible and real. It's going to be hard and that's the point. Get it out of your head, but don't self-insert.

Feeling vulnerable isn't easy. But, the more you admit to the struggles you're having, the more you can identify and staunch the incoming shit storm. Will it get easier? Maybe. But, it sure as hell would be better than what's happening right now.

Talk to someone who knows the struggle - even if they're not a fellow writer

As in, a close friend or a colleague or a loved one. Or even better, a therapist. But, ESPECIALLY someone who won't judge you. Suuupperrr importante.

The reason? Sometimes when you're close to a situation, you can't often see the obvious. This is why we have beta readers, critique partners, and editors. As writers, we don't often see the faults, or the missing pieces, or what works and what doesn't because the stroy is our baby and it's perfect the way it is.

We have to remember, life is a lot like our stories. We don't often see the issues. We don't often see the good. And people -ya know, those freaking normies, gah!- can offer surprising insight and comfort.

Give it a try. Be patient. Be open-minded.

DO. NOT. GOOGLE. YOUR. SYMPTOMS.

I... I really shouldn't have to explain this.

If I catch you WebMD-ing yourself or thinking Tiktok "gets" you, I'm gonna smack you with a waffle-boot. DON'T DO THIS. PLEASE.

If you really, really think something is wrong with you, please seek professional help. I know not everyone can afford it. I know. I got hit with my bill last month and I'm panicking a little. But, it's worth it. It really, really is. I wouldn't let you fuck yourself.

Look for programs in your area. Reach out to someone in your community. Talk to the place you work and see if they offer a free or affordable program. But for the love of all things holy, DO NOT GOOGLE. PLEASE.

Allow yourself the break

Yes, you're gonna feel guilty.

Yes, your Imposter Syndrome might rear its ugly head.

And yes, anyone who is a complete asshole may notice you're not doing the "writing thing" and will point out the fucking obvious.

Deep breaths, smile... and tell them to fuck off. You DESERVE to have this break.

Creative people can't keep pushing out content. Burn out is a REAL thing and can happen to ANYONE. And there's no shame in it. Idfc who says otherwise. You need to reset and get your creative energy back. And it's not something that can be rushed. It'll take however long is needed. BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF.

And that's it. That's my shit list for today.

This week has been ROUGH for me. For writing and... functioning in general. But, we have to remember to keep things in perspective, right? Am I feeling this because I'm overworked? Stressed? How often does it happen?

Just remember that you and your feelings are valid. It's the actions we take or the words we say that can invalidate how we feel.

And if you, dear writer, feel like this post is inappropriate... please let me know. It will be taken down. I felt like sharing what I go through and how I deal with this. But, I understand it may be triggering to some. Let me know. Or come talk about life with me. I don't mind. My page is open.

~ Happy Writing, Ya'll ~

#writers life #writing advice #writing help #mental health #stress #writing memes #writers #writers community #writing community #writblr #writeblr #writblr community #writing #novel writing #writer tips #writerscommunity #writing complaints

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bougiebutchbitch · 2 years

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Okay okay since I love hearing you rant: Who is your favourite Naruto character and WHY

sdkrhlsdfhgkjlshdfklghskldfhgkljsgfsd

I am going to give you all

THREE GUESSES

(it's obviously danzou, right?)

click under the cut for a WHOLE ESSAY

On a marginally more serious note: Kakashi has been one of my favourite characters since I was a wee bairn! I was also an edgy emo bairn, so the Akatsuki were my absolute favourites back in the day - I was deep into the 'they're all just chilling in a house together and acting like frat kids' part of the fandom. But I always thought Kakashi was a Cool Guy, y'know?

Then I started rewatching as an adult. As a very depressed adult who happened to be the same age Kakashi was at the start of Nart (the Nart-start, if you will).

And I realised... bruh... he really was just Some Guy dealing with one hell of a shit hand of cards, huh??

Like, the village gave him a jinchuuriki to look after! A jinchuuriki who JUST found out why the entire village HATES him, and who sees himself as a vessel for the monster that killed his hero and almost destroyed his home. A jinchuuriki who happens to be the son of the guy who kinda raised Kakashi! And who looks just like him! But Kakashi is forbidden from telling him anything about his own family!

And he's the most reckless and ridiculous shinobi ever!!!

Then one of the other boys they give him to train is the LAST SURVIVOR OF A LITERAL GENOCIDE. That was carried out by Kakashi's own teammate (on Konoha's orders, though of course, none of them know that at the time). And this boy is still obviously very fucking traumatised!

Sakura must've been a breath of fresh air skldfghskldhfg

Like... Kakashi is Not The Most Emotionally Stable Guy in canon. He does fuck up with Sasuke (and spends the rest of the series beating himself up about it) but let's be real - a HELL of a lot more support was needed, for that squad.

Konoha needs therapists. Konoha needs to stop using child soldiers. But those are massive issues that couldn't have been fixed for Doylian ReasonsTM! Unless Kakashi literally went rogue, grabbed the kids, ran off to start a chill farm somewhere and probably got hunted down for his troubles, they were always going to be stuck in a fucked-up environment, because they were raised in a martial state still recovering from a MASSIVE war.

...I'm rambling but the point is, SO MANY MESSED-UP FACTORS led to the rift in Team 7 and Sasuke's eventual defection. Kakashi definitely takes waaaaaay too much responsibility onto his own shoulders. But hey!!! Guilt complexes are my character kryptonite, so I shlorp that tasty soop right up.

Anyway, the main catalyst for my ongoing obsession with the lanky scarecrow man is because of those later flashback episodes where you saw just how fucking numb and depressed he was before he got the kids. 1) empathy. 2) my entire viewpoint of him shifted from 'cool funny wiseguy who gets all the best fight scenes' to '...oh god just let him chill with his dogs and his kids and be happy'

...Then you have the whole freaking INSANE plot with Obito! Where like... the guy Kakashi modelled half his personality and his entire ethos around, after suffering repeated trauma and PTSD as a kid... the guy he's looked up to since Obito died for him, the guy whose sacrifice motivated Kakashi to allow himself to care about other people again, the guy who IS his entire morality, practically...

TURNS OUT TO HAVE BEEN ALIVE ALL ALONG? AND CAUSED THE KYUUBI ATTACK THAT SET OFF THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE OF EVENTS??? AND HE'S ONE OF THE BIG BADS OF THE ENTIRE SERIES???????

Like!!!! That's so fucking juicy!!!!

The angst.... the pain............... the shipping opportunities.........

I love this food, thank u kishimoto :kisses:

and obviously, I saw Kakagai in a Very New Light too - the main reason I got back into the series was because I heard they got married in Boruto and had to see for myself sdljfglsdjfg

suffice to say, I was not disappointed

#hehehe

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hereforchifuyu · 3 years

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everybody likes you

tokyo revengers fic

pls like this

chapter one

mr. worldwide

You know those days where you just know nothing is going to go the way you want it to? That's how I woke up this morning. Honestly I'm getting really tired of this whole thing. First I get 'depressed' from the whole lockdown, which made my mom get all worried and made me go to a therapist, all because I stayed inside all day on my phone. Preposterous reasoning thank you, because most people I know do the exact same thing, but I digress.

I was vibing on my bed, watching 'How to train your dragon', which is a legend of its time really, when everything started turning for the worse. There was a white noise that was usually there in the back of my head, but it started getting louder, and louder, and louder. I tried solving it by turning up the movie's volume, but it only helped for a while before the sound overpowered the movie. While that was happening I was also losing the rest of my senses, which made me freak out even more than the hearing thing did. After a few minutes--maybe five?--had passed everything came rushing back (all at the same time too) which makes for a very unpleasant experience might I add.

I screwed my eyes closed and shoved my hands over my ears to try and muffle all of the sounds that were going on around me. I layed one side of my head against my thigh while I sat criss-cross, and covered the other ear with my left hand, while the unoccupied hand felt around me for my phone. Once I located it, I cracked an eye open, only to realize that I was most definitely not in the same place that I was in not even five minutes ago, which is crazy because how does someone change locations that fast to somewhere that was nowhere near their last point of residence?

I let out a deep sigh, feeling the tears brim my eyes at the absurdity of the situation, before I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I still had my ears covered, so maybe uncovering them was a step one?

Well that's what I did, so. Suck it if you think that's a bad idea (#fourthwallbrake). I was still sitting on the ground where I appeared, and as I looked around, it turned out to be a forest. A very pretty forest for that matter. I stood up and brushed any dirt off of my ass, looked to see if there were any signs of civilization nearby, but before I could get anywhere, I tripped. On nothing. Which was super embarrassing by the way. I looked to see what tripped me just to see conveniently placed earphones (#anotherfourthwallbrake) which made me feel happy and sad at the same time. Happy, because I got to listen to my silly little tunes, and sad because I managed to somehow trip on a pair of headphones?? Humpty Dumpty better move over because the new clumsy leader is here.

I got back up from my (embarrassing) fall, plugged in my earphones, and set off on my adventure, that wasn't all that adventurous. Anyway, as I was vibing I heard really loud grunts, which concerned me for two reasons. 1) They were being really loud over my music literally blasting in my ears and 2) why were they grunting...and why so loud...sus. After the epiphany that grunts probably meant people, I went in the general direction where the noises were coming from, trying to avoid a possibly traumatizing situation for myself.

It ended up not working in my favor because I did in fact find the people who were responsible for the weird grunting, but there were far more people than I thought there would be. But instead of them having a massive orgy or something, they were fighting?? The scene was incredibly familiar to me, and once I heard a voice yell out "Die, yay! Murder, yay!" I knew exactly where I remembered it from.

Either I was having an incredibly realistic dream, or I was somehow transmigrated--is that even the right word for it??--into tokyo revengers, which was terribly good news, because I got to see Mitsuya and Chifuyu (probably) and also incredibly bad because I could die. Somehow once the thought of meeting two of the best characters I read/watched, I threw away the cons for a future me to handle, and decided to stare at all the people fighting like a #alphamale or #girlboss. Both work.

While I was watching (staring) at all the people fighting, I noticed that there weren't any women fighting, which isn't very #gaslight #gatekeep #girlboss of them. There were only four-ish girls that had traction, which isn't very....I said that already.

I was broken out of my thoughts by a very loud yell. I bet you know which one I'm talking about winks. "Draken-kun!!!" I turned my eyes to where the scream came from, to see Hanagaki on his knees next to something (I'd assume it was Draken but I can't really see due to all of the sweaty bodies in the way) gaining the attention of everyone in the parking lot. Everyone that wore a Toman uniform looked to where the shout came from, all looking at least somewhat rattled.

I knew Draken didn't stop there, and I knew the ambulance had to come soon, and since I didn't know the emergency number for Japan, I looked it up like the alpha male I am. I didn't even know if the call would connect seeing that my phone wasn't exactly...current. I just crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. After I made the call (which was surprisingly easy, not really considering I had no clue where I was) I saw Hanagaki carrying Draken out of the lot, and readied myself to be a 'concerned civilian' and ran around in order to meet them 'coincidentally' in the street.

Yes, music was still playing, but it didn't fit the vibe of what was going on (it was The Backyardigans) so there was an internal struggle of trying to focus and singing along. I compromised and did both like a #girlboss.

I rounded the corner to see Hanagaki fighting Kisomiya with the 'Mizo Middle' and Draken was there, vibing (not really he looked like he was barely hanging on laugh out loud) and got a super convenient police siren sound effect that I had saved on my phone for special circumstances, but this seemed special enough so meh. It got Kiyomasa and his groupies to back off and run away (cowards /hj) but it also freaked out Hinata, Emma (both who hadn't run away for some reason??), Hanagaki, and Draken which made me giggle a little bit at their faces.

I turned off the siren as I turned the corner before talking for the first time this whole story. "Are you guys okay? I called the ambulance because Mr. Tall over there doesn't look so good." They all stared at me, which at first made me feel really cool, but as the minutes dragged on it made me feel not good. So I just decided to keep talking, hoping that maybe someone would come to their senses and actually say words. "Ah tough crowd, I see. I don't think any of my jokes would really help in this situation but I sure can try!" Still nothing. Heart = brocken dhmu. "Jesus who hurt y'all? I think my humor is pretty good even if it's the same as a twelve-year-old named Kyle who looks like a highlighter sprinting through the school hallway. No, I don't wanna say why that was so specific. Man, you guys are boring, no laughs or nothing. Welp, the ambulance-thingy should be here in like, five minutes? But I dunno."

They were just staring at me. The whole time. It was crazy, and I felt very underappreciated. As I turned to leave and (hopefully) find a way back to where I came from, someone called out, stopping me in my tracks. "Who are you?" As I turned around I was surprised to see that it was Draken and not Hanagaki (I only read the manga, and the only form of the anime that I ever watched was in short clips on tiktok winks). I stopped for a second, debating what I should tell them, before I settled with just saying my name before I finally turned my back on them to find a place to sleep.

Fun fact: I almost said your mom. Sometimes I cry wishing I did, it was the perfect opportunity after all.

im abt to go on a trip but i decided to post this instead 😼 #badgirltingz anyways if ur reading this i hope ir having a good time and uh. happy day of the week

#hereforchifuyu writes #mitsuya takashi x reader #takashi mitsuya #tokyo revengers chifuyu #tokyo revengers #yuh get into it

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callhimevan · 3 years

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BROOOO i don't really have any theories or meta to share but I think you're super kind and I just wanted to talk to you 🙀. So you're always asking people to tell you about their theories, but what are YOURS? What do you genuinely think that will happen with buddie in s4, or the event that will set off Buck Begins, or how do you think the 118/126 dynamics will be once they meet? I'm so interested in your opinions omg

YES SOMEONE STARTING OUT WITH BRO AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH HAHAHA! This is literally the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me, I am literally ALWAYS so open to chat (and thank you for calling me kind it really warms my heart)!

SO! Here are some running theories (BIG THEORIES, they have nothing to prove them except my ideas, ideas I’ve seen running through the community, and maybe some other things) I have about events coming up!

1) I think that Buck Begins will be set up similar to how Eddie Begins did, but I think that there will be a lot more leading up to it. Oliver has said that Buck Begins really starts near the end(ish) of 4x04 and continues towards 4x05. So Buck’s parents will show up at the end/middle of 4x04 or the accident that sets up Buck Begins happens at the beginning of 4x05 (though more on that later). But I do think that these next few episodes are all going to have Buck’s emotional turmoil really prevalent in them. I think he’ll tell Maddie about the therapist this episode (ie Buck confiding in Maddie), and then everything just starts to pile up on Buck: his parents, trying to be more open, confronting trauma, and then the accident which will be his trigger for Buck Begins. So in my mind the order of things goes: (4x03) Buck confides in Maddie, leaves for Texas, (4x04) returns back, his parents come to LA, he finds out the secret Maddie has been hiding, que ANGST, (4x05) he goes to work and responds to a huge fire, gets thrown off and trapped, que his backstory (I genuinely think it will be structured the most similar to Eddie Begins).

2) The accident! In Eddie’s Journey video, you can hear Buck say “I’m trapped” after being thrown from a metal walkway in what is described as a “five alarm fire.” Now I think this will parallel both Buck being trapped under the fire truck AND Eddie being trapped underground. I think this goes to show how this will be structured similar to Eddie Begins (que maybe a montage of the people that love him and he loves, similar to Eddie’s?). ALSO I think that something HAS to happen with Eddie (not death all of y’all who keep trying to say Eddie dies smh) during this accident. Why? BECAUSE IT WAS HIS FREAKING JOURNEY VIDEO! I mean to me this has to be so intentional, they could’ve done something else to tease Buck’s accident, but it was intentionally in the part where Ryan is talking about EDDIE’S season 4 journey, including whatever happens with Buck in this journey. So I don’t know if this means we’ll see Eddie have a traumatized drama queen moment like we saw with Buck digging in the dirt, but I think there will be something during Buck’s incident that fundamentally changes Eddie.

3) For Buddie, I don’t know what is going to happen this season. I was talking to @therogueheart about how I would not be surprised that if anything did happen, it would would happen at like the last 5 minutes of the season 4 finale, that way they would make us wait until season 5 to actually give anything. But regardless of whether anything explicit happens, I think there relationship or something will have changed/be changed throughout this season. They put so much emphasis on Buck and Eddie’s relationship in Eddie’s video that it makes me think we will see developments there. I think there could be a lot of potential to see Buddie becoming more explicitly implied, like whether it’s just more obvious gazes of whatever, but I think that there is a potential to drag out this slow burn. I also think that there was a lot of time between when s3 ended and s4 started, and we haven’t really gotten to understand what happened with our characters during that time, so it will be interesting to see what happened (see the fallout theory, which seems semi-plausible to me). There also could be a fallout yet to happen (maybe triggered by Buck’s accident) that will bring angst and tension to Buck and Eddie’s relationship before they have an opportunity grow back together stronger, you know there has to be rain to get a RAINBOW !!!

4) for the dynamic between the 118 and 126 I have some outspoken wants here. So I know everyone wants a TK and Buck interaction (and that’s definitely happening), but like TK is not my favorite LS character by a long shot. BUT YOU KNOW WHO IS? THATS RIGHT MATEO! I want to see like Eddie say something and Mateo just give that dumbfounded probie look he has. Also some Paul for my life because I love Paul. Like I know there is going to be a lot going on, but I really hope they don’t sleep of Mateo, Paul, and Marjan in the crossover. IMO Mateo is like a mix of Buck and Eddie and I think that I want some interaction there because I feel like he doesn’t get the recognition he deserves. As a whole I think there will obviously be tension on how to best handle things, especially as there is obviously procedural differences between the two shows, and I think Hen and Owen will be chilling in a crash site, but I think we will get some Eddie being a country boy with Judd and other good interactions!

THANK YOU SO MUCH again for your message! I really enjoyed being able to word vomit my ideas here so I hope you enjoyed them! Feel free to ask me any other questions or about any other theories! Also anyone else can feel free to do the same! I’m always more than happy to chat and talk :))))))

#Buck #buck begins #evan buckley #Eddie Diaz #Buddie #911 theories #911 fox #911 on fox #911 meta #911: lone star

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avengerscompound · 4 years

Text

The Surrogate - Chapter 2

The Surrogate: A Clintasha Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Clint Barton x Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Word Count: 1746

Rating: E

Warnings: None

Synopsis: A freak end of the world incident leads to meeting your two best friends, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff. While your friendship with the two Avengers is anything but conventional, they are your all-time favorite people. When you find out that Clint and Natasha want to start a family but have exhausted all their options, you realize your powerset might allow you to give them what they want. Having your best friends’ baby might seem like a good idea on paper, but when you are as close as you, Clint, and Natasha are, will doing something so intimate mean feelings get a little mixed up?

Chapter 2

“Clint and I just had sex!” You hadn’t meant to blurt the words out like that and they had almost definitely signed your death warrant, but they’d burst out of you out of your control. Things had gotten out of control, but in that good way, where your adrenaline had been up and with the alcohol and the way your powers worked, when he’d suggested you both go to the public restroom, you couldn’t think of anything you wanted to do more than that.

Now that you could see that Natasha and Clint were in a relationship, the guilt about being the one Clint had cheated with had made you spill immediately. Even if it did mean the Black Widow would gut you like a fish.

Natasha Romanoff looked back at you with her head tilted to the side. “Oh, dorogáya,” she soothed, before turning her attention back to the controls of the jet and taking flight again hovering up away from the bar she’d picked you up from before shooting off away from the city. She took a moment to smack Clint on the back of the head in between flicking different switches.

“Ow, Nat,” he complained, rubbing the back of his head. “What was that for?”

“You can’t do that,” she scolded. “You need to tell them what your deal is before you seduce them.”

“Seduce them? Me?” Clint argued. “Who am I seducing? Shit just happened.”

“You know what I mean, durak. You can’t just sleep with people and not tell them you’ve got a girlfriend,” Natasha snarked. She tilted her head back and raised her voice so you could hear her better over the jet engines. “Clint and I are in an open relationship. I’m sorry he didn’t tell you that first. He’s an idiot. But you didn’t cheat on anyone. I just hope he didn’t lead you on.”

“No,” you assured her. “I knew it was casual. But … I wouldn’t have… if you two…”

“It’s fine,” she assured you. “I promise. Have as much sex with Clint as you like. I don't care.”

“Gee, thanks, Nat,” Clint snarked.

“Well you won’t be getting any from me if you’re gonna be an idiot,” Natasha said. “Might as well see who else is offering.”

“Nat…” Clint whined.

You relaxed back in your jump seat while they argued in that loving way people who were completely comfortable with each other do, glad that for once your libido and need for complete honesty hadn’t gotten you in trouble. The last thing in the world you wanted was to piss off any of the avengers because you weren’t thinking with your brain.

“It's gonna be a bit of a flight, so just relax and get some sleep if you can,” Natasha called back to you.

You already knew you weren’t going to be able to sleep. You were running on pure adrenaline now and the jump seat was far from cozy. You did close your eyes and listen to the engine as Natasha guided the jet back to New York. Things were about to change for you, you knew that. Even if the Avengers deemed your powers to be useless to them, things weren’t going to be the same now. You couldn’t go through life after seeing the end of the world come so close and pretend like you weren’t gifted with something special. You had to find some way to use it.

By the time the Quinjet touched down at the Avengers Compound you had been up for well over a full day and you were exhausted. It was that level of exhaustion that went right to the bone. Each turn of your head caused your vision to go blurry as your brain tried to catch up with what it was processing. Each time you spoke you found it difficult to modulate your voice. You were also hyper-aware that you probably smelled terrible too. You’d been wearing the same clothes since you got up the day before and since you’d put them on you’d been running around the city and you’d had sex in a public restroom at a bar. The thought of any of the Avengers meeting you like this was quite frankly, mortifying.

You followed Natasha and Clint off the jet and they were greeted by Captain America and a tall, brunette woman wearing a grey pencil skirt and a black turtleneck. The exhaustion you felt made it really hard to process the fact that Captain Steve Rogers was less than a yard away from you. Especially given your current state. He was always going to remember that when he met you, you were the human embodiment of the living dead. Smell and all.

“Welcome home,” Steve said. “This must be the healer.”

“That’s right,” Clint said.

You introduced yourself to Steve and offered him your hand.

“Welcome to the facility. This is Hill,” he said, indicating to the woman with him.

“Alright, you two go get some rest. We’ll debrief after you’ve slept,” Hill said, scratching something down onto the Stark Pad she was holding.

“See you then! Totally gonna go and sleep right away, nothing else!” Clint said, saluting. Natasha stifled a laugh and the two of them headed off down the corridor.

Hill turned to you and continued tapping away on her tablet. “You’ll have very limited access to the facility until you’ve been cleared by security. I’m guessing you might need sleep? A shower?”

“That would be fantastic,” you agreed.

“Follow me,” she said. The two of you began to walk in the same direction as Clint and Natasha at a brisk pace. “The compound is run by an artificial intelligence. Her name is FRIDAY and she'll let you into the parts of the facility you are allowed in and keep you out of what you're not,” Hill explained as you walked. “I appreciate that you have come here voluntarily to assist us, but we are still a private military installation, so security is important. For now, you will be primarily restricted to your room, however, if you need any medical care I can take you to the medbay.”

“No. I never need that,” you said.

“Oh, right,” Hill said, shaking her head. “So used to the script.”

“Carry on,” you said with a soft laugh.

“I'm also giving you access to the smaller pool and gym,” Hill continued. “It's the one used by the administration staff and generally fairly quiet. Ask FRIDAY. We would prefer that you go straight to the security clearance and debrief, but we understand after an event like you just experienced you may need to let out some stress. For this reason, you can have access to any onsite psychiatric services. We have many therapists on staff. At some point you will need to speak to one but if you feel you need one sooner than later that can be arranged.”

“Oh… I'm… I think I can wait until after security clearance,” you said.

“If that changes just let FRIDAY know,” Hill replied. The two of you rounded a corner and then she opened a door that led outside. It was bright out and there were teams of people in sweats running in formation.

She led you down a path to a large white building with huge windows and an A on the side. “That building is the main hub, that's where you'll go when you're ready to speak to us. For now, we're just going to housing,” she continued as you made your way through the facility. “Barton said you helped him in the field.”

“Yeah, he fell off a building,” you answered. “I used my powers to heal him so he could get back.”

“That certainly sounds like Clint,” Hill said. You thought she might have stifled a laugh, but you couldn’t be sure. “You're okay with us running some tests?”

“Yes, of course,” you answered. “I wouldn't have come…”

“Great,” she said, cutting you off. “Ideally the run down when you're ready will go, security clearance, debrief and interview, then we’ll run some tests. But it's up to you how much you can handle. It's a big adjustment coming here. It can get a bit much for some people.”

“I’ll be sure to let you know if I'm feeling overwhelmed,” you said as a set of glass doors opened for you, letting you into the accommodation building. “Getting close to that now.”

“Right, sorry, you must be tired,” Hill said. “We’re nearly there.”

Your room was on the first floor and Hill opened the door to let you in. It reminded you of a cheap hotel. There was a full-sized bed, with gray linens, that offset the grey of the walls. The walls were unadorned and the only other furniture in the room was a side table, desk, and dresser.

“The bathroom is in here,” Hill said, opening the bathroom door. “There are towels and toiletries. We're not a hotel though so if there's anything missing or you need anything, and I do mean anything, let FRIDAY know. She’ll place an order. Inside the dresser is a Stark Pad. You can use it to find out what the kitchen is making and have it sent up. Make sure you eat. You can also browse the internet. Please do not post on social media about where you are until your security check. We’ll know so don't think you can get it by us. You haven't signed an NDA yet but you will and what you post about will be taken into account when we're deciding if we’ll actually recruit you. When you're ready to have the security run let FRIDAY know and someone will come and collect you. If you want to back out, we understand, just let her know that too and we’ll take you home. Any questions?”

Your head was reeling from the amount of information just dropped on you along with your complete exhaustion. “Uhh…” You said blinking slowly.

“Right, well if any come up…”

“Ask FRIDAY,” you finished. “Got it.”

She smiled and closed the tablet. “I'll leave you to it. You’ll be fine, kid,” Hill said. “Just get sleep, eat, and you’ll be part of the team in no time.”

“Thank you,” you said. “I’ll do that.”

“I'll be seeing you,” she said and left you alone. You peeled yourself out of the clothes you were wearing, collapsed onto the bed, and were asleep almost immediately.

// NEXT

#clint barton #natasha romanoff #clintasha x reader #clintasha #clint barton x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #clint barton x natasha romanoff #clint barton x natasha romanoff x reader #hawkeye #hawkey fanfic #black widow #black widow fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #pregnancy #the surrogate

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