#Alfred would say something like this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yeah-no-idontregretanything · 4 months

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Bruce: I have a plan. Alfred: I have the hospital and Clark on speed dial.

#superbat #batman #Alfred #Clark Kent #Bruce Wayne #Alfred would say something like this #Incorrect quotes generator - there´s much fun to be had #thats for sure #This is fun

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hood-ex · 1 month

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I just remembered that when Dick was in the circus and shared a bunk bed with a performer named Tombo, he was so bothered by Tombo's snoring that he decided he was going to go sleep in a tree.

Nightwing (Vol. 4) #8

#also where the FUCK are tombo's clothes?? why are john and mary letting him sleep like that when dick's in the room??#also also is ''tree'' possibly slang for something? bc it's weird he would say THE tree instead of A tree #like does he have a specific tree he enjoys alskdja or is tree like... the top of their trailer? idk lmao #i do think it would be funny if bruce and alfred randomly found dick sleeping in trees sometimes though #Dick Grayson

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randombatcharts · 7 months

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Here we are again. This one is a lot smaller then most of the other ones I made, and I am pretty sure Bruce if terrorizing people would be on accident. While making this I may have been reminded slightly of the one post I saw about dick and going to the dik diks, and I totally agree with that.

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artemismoorea03 · 9 months

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DPxDC Prompt: The Child Who Was King

(For anybody who has read my DPxDC fics you might know that I'm a huge fan of the "Unaging Danny" headcanon and this was directly inspired by that)

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The team has already heard about Phantom in one way or another. Yes, the tyrant "Pariah Dark" had his name mentioned in some places but it was called the "Phantom Zone" for a reason. "Phantom Zone", "Land of the Dead", "Underworld", "Limbo" and countless other names are listed and describe the same place.

It also describes a King be it vicious or kind, old or young, a threat or a peace keeper. The stories are so varied that it's impossible for the League to know who to expect when they receive a mysterious sticky note which falls from the sky during the meeting.

Soon.

The entire League is on edge, not knowing what to think until some members (Zatana and Constantine) recognize the symbol on the paperwork from ancient texts. The Symbol of the God of Time. Zatana says that Time works close with the King of Death and is send to bend at his will and often sends warning messages like this to alert those who are required to know. While Constantine just wants to leave before things get to be any more of a headache.

Days turn into weeks.

Weeks into months.

Most of the team thinks it was a mistake but one member of the team stays particularly on edge because the paper fell in front of them specifically. It isn't until they're on patrol in their area that another note appears with an address and a time and when they arrive in the area they make it just in time for a green portal to open and somebody to fall out of it.

They react, years of training tell them to catch the figure and when they do they discover a child no older than 14 under weight, pale with black hair and blue eyes, bruises covering them. They're breathing heavily as the kid leans against the heroes chest fearfully, the cape seeming much larger than them.

The hero doesn't know what to think when one final note appears.

Due to reasons which can not yet be discussed King Phantom is not safe in the Land of the Dead, you are here by entrusted with his protection. If you fail all will be lost.

#dcxdp #ngl I picture the hero being Batman but it could be any here #I just love the batfam #Bruce struggles to explain himself when he gets home #because like what do you say?!#sorry Alfred I would have warned you but this kid litterally dropped into my lap #Danny wakes up in the human realm for the first time in what is *hundreds* of years if not thousands for him #just to find out that it's only 2023 and then he's just like 'this is bullshit'#then when Bruce tells the League what happened and introduces Danny they're shook because “this child is the god of death? Very funny Bruce #Danny is also just trying to remember how to be a person #he also has to relearn that he has to actively use his powers to fly here because it's not the ghost zone where he just *floats* eveywhere #the amount of times he has stepped off of something high or fallen face down on the ground because he forgets gravity exists drives him nut #the siblings start keeping a “days since Danny last face planted” counter.

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creativesplat · 3 months

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ok... so Lambert x Eve...

Eve and the two Blaiddyds

Lambert and the two Fierenes

The step-siblings

@blaiddydbrokeit and I were talking, and they have now sent me down the wonderful rabbit hole that is Eve and Lambert getting married and looking after their children.

#Dimi desperately needs a good mother figure (y'know rather than his idealised image of Patricia who never really loved him and didn't pay #attention to him no matter what he says to himself (you know only having that one memory of her where she was looking out the window and ig #ring him) and then tried to murder him adn his whole family) anyway #Eve would be good for Dimi #and Lambert and Alfred and Celine would get up to all sorts of shenanigans #but also Lambert might be able to help Celine understand and overcome her fear of other's deaths #Dimitri in particular would be able to understand that fear and sympathise with her #and alfred is just having a great time with a new brother and dad because everything is awesome all the time and his old dad would have lov #d his new dad and he tells alear all about it and she's like ooh!#anyway an adorable meet the step-dad step-brother situation for the couple (you know my alflear loving heart can never resist an opportunit #anyway #other tags were originally messaged to a pal when we discussed the idea but I thought they would work under the picutres too:#crack ship or not Lambert and eve are adorable in my brain #lambert egitte blaiddyd #queen Eve #fire emblem engage #fire emblem three houses #anyway maybe in a heroes universe or something; or dimi revives Lambert using some sort of magic and then Lambert and eve meet up in a Fodl #an and Elyos meet and greet sort of ball and they become friends and then they discuss being widowed and through a long series of meet ups #realise a political marriage between them both would be good for Fodlan and Fahrgus and good for Fierene and Elyos and they're also in love #anyway they both visit each other's spouses graves on the anniversary of death #like they would both really respect their partner's deceased spouses and not be jealous at all when the other gets upset and is like #I really miss them. Because they both get it

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wesavegotham · 6 months

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I think it's really disappointing that instead of deconstructing Batman in a new way (Alfred is dead and Bruce isn't rich anymore, so now he has to do all the mature and traditionally female everyday tasks like cooking, cleaning and taking care of your family members by himself for the first time in...ever. In a way destroying the image of the cool and edgy Batman who usually didn't have take care of these pesky tasks because another, more mature and motherly character like Alfred or aunt Harriet was doing it for him) Bruce is still being deconstructed in a way we've seen for over a decade at this point: Is he turning insane, is he better off alone and will DC push him to the point where he'll start killing (the Joker)?

The potential to do something new is there, but it's not really being used.

#bruce wayne #damian wayne #Bruce's fortune and I would say enabling characters like Alfred and sometimes Dick allowed Batman to pretty much stay a manchild for decade #So a status quo forcing Bruce to finally grow up would be something fresh #Batman and Robin 2023 started with the premise that for the first time Bruce has to take care of a child/teenager without Alfred around #But the Batman book basically said fuck this Bruce is all on his own now and Dick is taking care of everyone else now #Great...just great

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your-zipper-is-down · 4 months

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Sir, you have a daughter and wife home, what are you talking about?!

#Like this was one of the main reasons why I thought Veronica and Betty were dead this loop #LIKE I jokingly said 'Divorce is a thing' as a BillyTella fan who discovered Veronica was still alive but like-#SIR?! How can you say something like this; it's not only you #your family would be affected as well???#Veronica should divorce his ass just because he ain't a good husband gdksgskdh #VERONICA; AMIGA DATE CUENTA #undead unluck #uu spoilers #billy alfred #shut up cat #low-key would like to see VeronicaxBillyxTella tho hsksjd

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mariocki · 4 months

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Alfred Burke puts on his best policing face as Parisian detective Inspector Maron, in Overseas Press Club - Exclusive!: The Billion Franc Mystery (1.6, ABPC, 1957)

#fave spotting #alfred burke #overseas press club exclusive!#the billion franc mystery #1957 #classic tv #public eye #abpc #an obscure series‚ even by the standards of pre 1960s telly. OSPC was a coproduction between Ardleigh Films and Associated British Pathé #(they of the famous news reels‚ and themselves a subsidiary of Associated British Picture Corporation). a year or two later and this #would probably have been made in house by ABC themselves‚ but the franchise was only a year old at this point and still finding its feet #the concept is simple but promising: each week‚ a member of the Overseas Press Club of America (a real and still extant organisation) tells #a tale from their careers‚ an unusual instance or shocking event that makes for good tv. these tales are true! says the narrator in the #show's opening moments‚ and these ppl exist! frankly that's something i take with a large grain of salt; whilst some stories certainly have #direct factual origins (there's an episode about a catholic priest going undercover with a gang of street toughs which ends with footage of #the actual figure that inspired the ep) but others are highly questionable (the first‚ about a Norwegian resistance fighter who has plastic #surgery and takes the place of a relatively high ranking nazi officer; i feel like that's something that would be better known‚ yknow??)#this ep is about a nazi plot to destabilise the French franc just prior to ww2; quite believable and certainly the nazis did dabble in #producing counterfeit money‚ tho the examples i found online all relate to pound sterling or latterly the us dollar‚ not the franc)#our journalist of the week is played by Lee Patterson‚ a minor film star in british b movies at this point‚ with swooningly handsome Anton #Diffring (who had fled nazi persecution himself) as the villain. Alfie's part is pretty small‚ he's just the french cop keeping every one #in sight and letting events play out (cue some wonderful Alfie cheshire cat grins). Patterson (and maybe Diffring) got to fly out to actual #real Paris to film some location work and establishing shots (a benefit of making a series about the OSPC was that they arranged flights #for cast and crew). poor Alf didn't get a holiday tho; his scenes are conspicuously studio based‚ even when he's meant to be on the banks #of the Seine...#so yes‚ a fun little series‚ even if (so far) the wide scope of potential stories does seem to favour ww2 stuff. good luck finding a copy #tho; it took me months of trawling to find a reasonably priced 2nd hand copy (Amazon currently have a copy for £79.99 which.. for 2 discs #is kind of insane). a victim of the price gouging which seems to have affected some of the lesser known network titles since their #dissolution. sad times for the fan of painfully obscure old tv.. if I ever learn how to make things be on a computer‚ tho‚ I'll happily #share

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feartheoldblog · 1 year

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Ok this is now An Ask

You mentioned you love assigning flowers to characters.

What flowers would you assign to Bloodborne characters??? I'm fascinated

Not a full/official list but yes, Bloodborne character flowers. I was going to go into specific colours and a description of why I chose them but I’m tired right now (wanted to answer this as fast as possible though). I’ll probably update this with a proper explanation (and more characters) tomorrow :)

The vast majority of these are based off symbolism but one or two are just based off the vibe I get from them, honestly.

Freesia: Gascoigne

Gorse: Henryk

Lavender/Anemone: Gehrman

Gladiolus: Maria

Thistle: Gilbert

Heather: Chapel Dweller

Snowdrop: Plain Doll

Wild Foxglove: Iosefka

Petunia: Valtr

Wolfsbane: Brador

Aster: Caryll

Clematis: Laurence

Iris: Ludwig

Bonus pic of a lovely Peacock Butterfly putting on a show on our (not so lovely) climbing rose plant during summer

#asks #some of these have sentimental value to me :)#i learned a lot about plants from my mum and stuff #and we’ve grown a lot of them together #gehr gets two bc he’s my stinky favourite #i couldn’t decide on a plant to describe eileen tbh #she seems like the type of woman that would want a bramble bush instead of a bouquet #and i love her for it #still deciding on djura and alfred tbh #i can’t really associate alfred with any flowers #i could probably say a white rose or something just to fit his clothes and church vibe #but it just doesn’t work in my head #i have beef with mico he’s a venus fly trap to me #wouldn’t survive in my my garden bc we don’t have the climate for it (good)#the butterfly was very good at posing #chilled there for a while and opened and closed it’s wings

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hacknet · 1 year

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theres some joke post ive seen that implies maria and alfred would be friends but they would not . maria is literally a vileblood alfred would hate her. and she'd hate alfred because he, his master, and all his masters other little bitches literally just did the fishing hamlet again.

#my post #bloodposting #im telling you if they met she would have alfred dead on the floor before he could even say hello. as she should.#also alfred would only hate her if he found out shes a vileblood. he can't like sense them or something he doesnt seem to care if you are #and i guess maria would only hate him if she knew what the executioners did. still though

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br-uwu-cewayne · 2 years

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Also i will FIGHT anyone and everyone talking about how "please, Alfred's british. he'd have technical skills but you KNOW that flavor is bland."

The UK is one of the (if not THE) biggest cultural and culinary melting pots in the world. "british food is bland and boring" yeah sure, purely british food with no outside influences can be!!!

But WHHHHYYYYYYY on EAAARRRTTHHH would a clever, intelligent, and well refined intelligence officer young man take one look at all these spectacular foods from all these immigrating cultures and the new and distinct combinations they've come up with sharing ideas amongst themselves and NOT dive headfirst into learning everything about them!!!!

#hell chicken tikka masala was INVENTED in britain #now whether or not you consider it an indian influenced british dish or a british influenced indian one is some debate #something something at what point in the process does it become nationalize. did the son of immigrants born in britain consider himself #british or indian. or much influence in a dish turns it from X inspired Y to Y inspired X. etc. im not getting into right now #but what im SAYING is the idea that Alfred would have no palette just because he's british via DNA despite having access to all this #knowledge of wonderful food... seems sketchy as hell #and it feels like the folks saying it are one step away from sliding right down to the other side of the seesaw and following up with #some bullshit like how all black americans just naturally know how to cook great soul food.

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gothamcityneedsme · 11 months

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scrolling ao3 and saw a vtm/batfam crossover and suddenly im completely normal

#Shitpost #You don't understand this is better than a usual vampire au #THEY COULD BE A COTERIE. AND ALL. DIFFERENT CLANS #and like. If the Robins were turned as kids then they never grow up #aka bruce still has an adoption problem #also this like. Idea of like. 1. Upholding the masquerade (they must be anarchs??)#and 2. Using Batman and Robin to help them maintain their humanity and combat The Beast though #3. Like if they arent supposed to use their powers #idk man im like. Thinking #i read the words 'brujah jason todd' and suddenly went insane #ALSO torador dick grayson 10000%#You know bruce is a ventrue. also i think alfred would be his sire #alfred is like. ex camarilla just trying to have a peaceful life #Not sure what damian should be. Whatever Ras is probably. Ras is probably like. A primogen or CLOSE to being one.#so hes probably feelng The Torpor or whatever its called. The calling. Thing.#i sort of like the idea of Ras/Talia/Damian as gangrel i think #tim. Hmmmm. ventrue is too easy so hes got to be something else #Not sure how he wouldve been turned atm.#ok Tremere would be so good tho #Cass.... I want to say a very funky malk. Or a nostaferatu?#Steph im not sure.#Lol realizing that Damian is probably the most powerful of the family because hes probably like 5th gen???#like. Actually making Ras a primogen feels op so like. Cain-Primogen-RasSire-Ras-Talia-Damian #Thats considered 5th gen iirc because Cain is 0?#meanwhile like. Alfred could be like 8th ish #making Bruce 9th. And everyone else would be in the teens #oh maybe steph is a thinblood

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milfweirdal · 1 year

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like yeah he would do numbers on here but i am so glad al doesn't use tumblr and im so glad that im on here instead of twitter. can you imagine thirstposting on twt knowing that he namesearches? that would strike such fear into my heart. my parasocial relationship with him is none of his business and i prefer it that way /lh

#id be on there using codenames to evade the namesearch lmao like wow awooga peculiar alfred is breasting so boobily in this picture #i really dont get the 'calling them daddy to their face/in their mentions' style of internet fandom though like #aside from the ethical/sexual harrassment concerns #how does that not feel deeply deeply uncomfortable to do in the first place #feels about as weird to me as it would feel to say something like that to the self checkout attendant at my local tesco #i am v easily embarrassed about these things tho #hence this blog being a pseudonymous sideblog lol #my parents bought a cameo for me one xmas from an actor i have a crush on and i almost died of embarrassment. the screams i scrumpt

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hauntingblue · 1 year

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If I was funnier and had the time, I would write a batfam fanfic that would actually be a very bad telenovela where everyone is terrible and dramatic, the worst ships ever thought about happen and they all fight to get bruces inheritance or want to be on WE or something like that. It would be like wfa but with completely opposite vibes

#and you would tell me girl if you want a telenovela read ntt and i would say yeah thats on my list #like imagine the potential #babs is a resentful woman (amargada y despechada) because dick cheated on her with kory after he proposed #tim is thw worst because hes dating steph but of course he cheats with bernard but then kon is his friends to lovers so he cheats again #and like idk jason gets a gf and cass seduces her because she hates his guts #but then cass wants steph after she breaks up with tim but has to choose between true love and vengance (sleeping with jasons gf)#and maybe she chooses both #and alfred is the most two faced son of a bitch you can conceive #bruce is just oblivious to all of this btw #maybe they all get an evil step mother or smth #oh and of course babs and jason would have something!!! what is better than getting with your exs brother lmaoooo #mayne stephanie is next or maybe she gets with kon too idk #talking tag #this is my shameful post of the month feel free to throw tomatoes #and also this would only be funny for me #and it would be in spanish because im not writing all that in english it loses its thing #juan pedro!! no me puedo creer que te hayas acostado con barbara!!! despues de todo lo que ricardo y ella han pasado!!! que pensara alfredo #and you would say to me: isnt everything ooc and slightly problematic and yeah. the true spirit of the telenovela

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emotional-piece-of-meat · 18 days

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I'm golden-child!Jason and not-even-a-silver-egg!Dick truther for life, and that's so funny.

Bruce is used to the chaos he calls his son, so when Jason actually behave, Bruce is soooo confused.

Like, what do you mean Bruce can tell him to not do something and Jason will??? Obey??? The order??? Dick would never.

Bruce, fully prepared for scandal: You are not allowed to jump from one wardrobe to another, it's dangerous for you.

Little Jason, who has no idea why he should: Ok? I wasn't planning to anyway.

Confused Bruce: You wasn't?

Little Jason who are scared to touch anything here, because it probably costs more than his life: I don't want to ruin the mansion...

More Confused Bruce: You don't?!

Or

Bruce: so, you are saying that if I tell you to sit in your room and read books, you will really sit in your room and read books?

Little Jason, who has no idea why he shouldn't: Yeah?

Bruce, whispering to Alfred: I didn't know they could do that.

#Dick on the background is heavily disappointed #he wanted a cool little brother not this nerdy one #he wants to make a refund #batman #batfam #batdad #batfamily #dick grayson #bruce wayne #jason todd

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the-heaminator · 7 months

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using my jstor account for greater benefit of the homies

#Why does this feel like something Alfred would say #And better yet why have I said it

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