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hongism · 3 years

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feels like floating (when i’m with you) - j.yh x k.hj

↣ pairing: k. hongjoong x j. yunho ↣ genre: angst/fluff/sfw, single dad!yunho, teacher!hongjoong ↣ wc: 27.2k ↣ ao3 version here (contains smut) ↣ summary: liking yunho is akin to the smell of rain after a bad thunderstorm, the first star that appears in the night sky, and the last drop of sunset before the night descends. hongjoong isn’t sure if it’s his favorite thing or the one he fears the most.

Kim Hongjoong starts his days alone. Gets out of bed, does his morning routine, then goes to the elementary school ten minutes from his apartment all on his own. He runs through the monotonous and unending routine of teaching classes and watching the children on his own, sometimes stopped by another teacher in the hallway for a small chat but they never last long. Afternoons see Hongjoong watching the kids leave the school and staying in the classroom for an extra two or so hours for the one student who doesn’t get picked up until far later than usual. Then he heads home alone and concludes his day in the all too small apartment that is perfect for someone like him. “Someone like him” being a person who doesn’t need a lot to live happily or a lot to take care of himself. He has friends and family, people around him that he talks to on a daily basis, but there’s always something lacking and a certain feeling that nags at his heart when he sees parents with their children or couples in the street or his two best friends fawning over each other because they couldn’t be more in love.

And so, Kim Hongjoong starts his days alone and ends them lonely.

“Akemi darling, did your father say when he’s coming to pick you up?” Hongjoong squats down to be eye level with the little girl, bringing a hand to brush over her jet black hair and comb through the slight frizz in it. She shifts to grin at him, crooked little teeth gleaming like pearls in the yellow sunlight.

“Daddy said he’d be late again today!” She speaks with such enthusiasm and brightness, as though without a care in the world, and Hongjoong half-wishes he could hold the same optimism that all his students have. Akemi always has had this attitude about her — a never-ending joy to her disposition that Hongjoong can’t place. One would think that the little girl would at least be bothered by the fact that her dad can’t seem to pick her up on time no matter what. However, she just skips around the classroom once all the other first graders have left and waits patiently as Hongjoong conducts his afterschool work. Then roughly around five o’clock – a little over two hours after school finishes for the day – a tall, young man who can’t possibly be much older than Hongjoong (if older at all) rushes through the hallways and raps at Hongjoong’s classroom door to pick her up.

Jeong Yunho. A strangely Korean name for someone whose daughter bears a Japanese one, but Hongjoong assumes that’s on account of Akemi’s mother and the fact that they live in Kyoto. Speaking of the girl’s mother, Hongjoong has never seen the woman before. She has never come to pick Akemi up from school, never come to school functions, parent-teacher meetings (not that Hongjoong has ever had to have one with Akemi’s parents since she’s his best student), and he has never heard any mention of her in the slightest. He has Yunho’s contact information and nothing else, so — and it’s not any of Hongjoong’s business honestly, just a thought that nags at the edges of his mind — he can only assume that Yunho is a single father.

That thought is the only reason why Hongjoong even considers staying so late after hours to look after the girl. That along with the fact that every single time Jeong Yunho comes bursting into his classroom, the man looks like he has run three marathons in a row and has no time to remember to put his ass on in the morning. (He never forgets to though. Hongjoong has checked. On occasion. Discreetly, of course, he can’t very well ogle his student’s father in plain daylight.)

But in any case, the man seems to have a hard enough life, so Hongjoong doesn’t mind looking after Akemi. It’s not like he has anything else to do with his life outside of the elementary school; all he does is go home, do some planning for future classes, maybe watch some television or read a book, then go to sleep. On weekends, Hongjoong might get daring enough to go to the bar with his friends Wooyoung and San, but recently that has been nigh impossible since he can’t bear to see them fawn over each other for more than ten minutes. He only has himself to blame for that at the end of the day. He was the one who introduced the pair and set them up on a date together, so yes, mistakes were made, Hongjoong admits it, and he regrets it only half-heartedly because they are genuinely happy together.

Back to the matter at hand though, Hongjoong just genuinely enjoys his job as a teacher and taking care of his students no matter what. Even if it means losing a bit of time in his all too small and dingy apartment once school is over.

“Same time as usual?” Hongjoong inquires, tilting his head a bit to the left. A soft smile creeps onto his lips, an attempt to comfort the girl even tho it’s unneeded since she still bears the same smile as always.

“Maybe!” Akemi pulls her head up and draws the colored pencil in her hand, scanning her little drawing with critical eyes. “Do you think Daddy will like it, Mr. Hong?”

Hongjoong releases a loud laugh at the girl’s nickname for him, and Akemi grins back as bright as ever. She adopted the nickname at some point during the first term, maybe back in May once it started becoming a daily thing for him to look after her every day once school concluded. She didn’t miss a beat during summer break either, coming back in September to continue with the same schedule and nickname.

“I’m sure he will love it, little butterfly.” If possible, the girl positively glows at the nickname, one that Hongjoong gave her quite some time ago on a whim.

“I think we’re running out of room on the fridge. But Daddy loves hanging my pictures up.” Akemi hums to herself and lifts the colored pencil once more to continue her work. “Mr. Hong, when can we do lessons again?”

“Hm? We have lessons every weekday.”

“No! Piano lessons! We haven’t had lessons in a long time!” Akemi protests, slamming her little hand flat against the desk with a small huff. She whips around to face Hongjoong, and in that moment Hongjoong is taken aback by how brightly her eyes shine at the thought of the small lessons.

In another life, perhaps Hongjoong would have been a professional pianist since that is what he studied and labored after in university, but those dreams eventually fell flat and he traded them for the thought of being a teacher instead. Being able to teach Akemi… it lets him get to have one last glimpse into those dreams and think about what it could have been like to fulfill them, to see himself in her and watch the way her eyes light up when she plays a certain passage correctly. Hongjoong has never dreamt of having children himself – being a teacher is more than enough exposure to kids as it is – but he thinks that having a kid like Akemi would make the experience quite a bit better.

“Maybe tomorrow? Your dad will be by soon to pick you up so I don’t think we have enough time today.” Hongjoong offers through a small smile, and Akemi just bobs her head in agreement. She brings her blue colored pencil back down to her little drawing and continues to color without a care in the world.

And sure enough, it’s only seven minutes later that a hand comes down on the door to the classroom, rapping at the wood frantically until Hongjoong moves to open it.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Kim. I had a meeting run late, then got caught in some traffic because there was an accident on the highway. I tried to get over here as fast as possible, but I know I’m still pretty late. I’m sorry for keeping you late. Again. As usual,” Yunho rambles as he comes face to face with Hongjoong. The rant is a typical one, one that both isn’t necessary and is entirely understandable so Hongjoong doesn’t feel a need to hear it. Still, he responds with a wide smile and flashes his teeth.

“It’s perfectly alright, Mr. Jeong. Akemi is a delight to be around as always. We worked on some drawings today! I believe she has one for the fridge at home.” Hongjoong steps aside to let the man step into the classroom, willing himself not to look at the way his white button-up clings to his body and strains around his broad shoulders. Yunho leans over the desk Akemi sits at. A grin pulls at his lips in an instant, a quick change to his demeanor as he sees his daughter that causes his cheeks to glow with joy. There’s something so raw and beautiful about the love in his eyes, a kind of love that transcends the need for words, and Hongjoong can see it often in the parents of his students. Fascinating. He doesn’t know how else to describe the emotion but in his twenty-six years of life, he has seen a multitude of different loves. This one is the most fascinating to him since he doesn’t have a child of his own to experience it with.

“Daddy, daddy! I drew a butterfly today! A pretty blue one! We can put it at the tippy top of the fridge like it’s flying, right?”

“Of course, Mimi.”

Mimi. Huh. Hongjoong definitely does not think about what it would be like to call the little girl by that name. That would be something too grossly domestic and beyond the line of things that are okay for him to say as a teacher. Because that’s all he is. A teacher. Yunho’s daughter’s teacher. Yeah. He’s doing great, by the way, just peachy.

“Why’d you draw a butterfly, little one? Hm?” Yunho runs his all too long fingers through the little girl’s hair as she shows off the drawing to her father, smiles nearly identical in the way they scrunch their cheeks and noses.

“Mr. Hong calls me little butterfly! So I wanted to draw one!”

“That’s…” Yunho shifts to look at the much shorter man, and Hongjoong just about throws up on the spot. The man sinks his front teeth into his lip, biting back a smile that has Hongjoong’s insides turning to mush.

Fuck, he has a really nice smile.

Like a terribly nice one that is exactly the kind Hongjoong would fall for in seconds back in high school or college. He blanches. All the color leaves his cheeks and blood rushes down to his toes. It’s not weird to give students nicknames, right? Why does it feel like Hongjoong is overstepping his boundaries? It feels like he’s done something wrong and–

“Her mother used to call her that.”

Oh dear god. Hongjoong has truly fucked up beyond belief. This is the end of him. He had no way of knowing – how the hell would he have figured that out? – but he still feels like he has walked to the end of a plank and leaped into shark-infested waters without anything to protect him from their sharp teeth. Maybe being eaten alive would be better than this awkwardness though. Maybe Hongjoong needs to see someone for thinking such a thing.

Yunho seems to catch what he has just said a moment later and shakes his head fervently, brown bangs fanning over his forehead with the movements.

“Ah, sorry, why – why did I say that?” Yunho huffs out a shaky and nervous laugh that somehow still sounds pretty to Hongjoong’s ears even though it shouldn’t. “Um, thank you again for… yeah, uh, for watching her as usual. Um, I tried to call the school and let you know that I would be late again but I forgot the whole ‘no calls after school hours’ part!”

“I can just give you my cellphone number?” The words are out of Hongjoong’s mouth before he can stop them, and damn, he really needs to learn how to hold his tongue around this man. His jaw stays hanging open well after he finishes speaking, but he’s still reeling from the shock of hearing himself say such a thing. Yunho blinks back at him with wide, doe-like eyes. Somewhere in the back of Hongjoong’s mind, he distinctly thinks pretty, but that thought is rudely shoved aside as he tries to recover the situation. “Like, I mean, so you can – to tell me if you’re going to be late. On a school day. So I know if I need to watch her.”

Good riddance, Kim Hongjoong. Like you don’t watch her every day regardless.

“Um, yeah, only if you’re sure? I wouldn’t wanna intrude into your personal life or anything. That would be inappropriate of me…” Yunho trails off to look at some random piece of furniture in the corner of the room.

“I’m sure! That would – that would probably be best honestly. I mean, the receptionist leaves so soon after the school closes that you wouldn’t ever be able to reach me if you’re running late. You wouldn’t be intruding. Not like I have much of a personal life outside of teaching anyway, uh, why am I telling you that? That’s not important, um, phone number! Let me write it down for you!”

Hongjoong turns on his heel to go find whatever he can to scribble his number on before he chickens out too much, head reeling and spinning. He knocks into one of the desks along the way and almost trips over the chair, which causes Yunho to lunge forward in a rush to catch him, but Hongjoong flings a hand up to ward him off.

“I’m fine! Ha, should watch my step! Might knock into a table or something, right?” Hongjoong tries to flash a toothy smile, eyes turning into soft crescents just before he knocks into yet another desk.

“Mr. Hong! You’re so clumsy today,” Akemi giggles. Hongjoong’s embarrassment surges as Yunho looks over him with nothing but sheer concern, and the temptation of crawling into a hole for the rest of his life sneaks up. He can almost hear San chastising him for thinking such a thing though, a small nagging voice in the back of his mind saying ‘no, Joong, you can’t just become a hobbit even if you are the size of one’. Rude as hell, first of all, because hobbits don’t really live in holes, and Hongjoong is not the size of one but that’s beside the point.

Hongjoong finally reaches his own desk in one piece and tugs out a plain sticky note to write his number down as hastily as possible. Akemi continues speaking to her dad, telling him some story about what she did on the playground during recess today and how another student’s mother came to pick him up early. Hongjoong really tries not to listen in (because again not his business!) but there does lie a distinct sense of longing in Akemi’s tone, even if she’s too young to truly understand what that longing is. Whether it’s a desire for her father to come sooner when he picks her up or an inherent desire to have another parental figure in her life, it’s present and there and hurts Hongjoong’s heart a bit more than it should.

He pushes that to the side in favor of carrying the sticky note, which now holds his cell number of all things on it, to Yunho.

“You can just, uh, call or text whenever. On weekdays of course.”

“Yeah, on weekdays, schooldays, yeah.” Yunho bobs his head while speaking, hastily agreeing with Hongjoong before taking the sticky note from his hands. Their hands may or may not make contact when he does so – one of Yunho’s long and spindly fingers running over Hongjoong’s knuckles – and Hongjoong full-on panics at the small contact, yanking his hand away in a rush with an embarrassing blush creeping up his neck. At this point, Wooyoung would probably point and laugh at him then call him a whole gay disaster and a half.

“Well, I hope you have a good evening!” Hongjoong blurts to break the tense silence.

“Thank you, yeah, thank you. Um, you too! And thank you again for always staying late for her. I know you aren’t paid for that and it’s probably a burden.”

“It’s – look, it’s no issue at all, I promise. I wouldn’t be a teacher if I didn’t enjoy spending time with kids, and Akemi is a delight to be around as always. She’s so well behaved and wonderful. Reminds me of myself when I was her age!” Hongjoong reaches up to rub at the back of his neck, laughing off Yunho’s concern as best he can.

“Are you saying you’re well-behaved, Mr. Kim?” Yunho chuckles a bit under his breath. There’s no alternative meaning to his words. There is not. Hongjoong cannot read into that. He refuses to think too deeply about it. So why does his brain go straight to the bedroom? For fuck’s sake, Hongjoong needs a drink, and preferably the strongest one imaginable.

“I used to be, at least.” Hongjoong really needs to stop putting his foot in his mouth like this. Yunho most definitely picks up on the possible innuendos in the topic at hand because his eyes grow a bit wide with each passing second, then he chokes on a cough, dipping his chin to his chest in a hurry to hide his embarrassment. “Uh, in any case, don’t feel bad about being a bit late to pick her up. I get the sense that you have a very busy life on top of being a father. I don’t want you to feel rushed if you have more to deal with.”

“I mean, that’s life, isn’t it?” Yunho reaches down to comb his fingers through Akemi’s hair again, a soft and fond smile painting his lips as he looks at the little girl. “Alright, Mimi, let’s get home. I still have to cook dinner and get you in bed on time.”

Hongjoong would be lying if he said that he isn’t bothered by those words. Because they nearly confirm that Yunho is taking care of Akemi on his own and without help. He’s the one to bring her to school, pick her up, take her home, cook dinner, tuck her in, and work late hours. Hongjoong doesn’t understand how he can do all that on his own. He can hardly take care of himself and remember to put food in his body; he can’t imagine having to be fully responsible for another human being the way Yunho has to. If he were more bold and perhaps less of a disaster himself, he might offer to do more to help the man. It isn’t his place to offer, however, and he is still making presumptions with all this.

“Can we invite Mr. Hong to dinner, Daddy? As a thank-you gift like you mentioned?” Akemi whips to face her father, bright eyes stretched impossibly wide.

Cue the alarm bells and sirens of panic. Hongjoong is just about losing his mind, in case you couldn’t tell, and he should not be so thrown into disarray the way he is. Maybe it has just been that long since he had even an ounce of mediocre human contact with anyone outside his immediate friend group that the idea of spending time with a new person sends him into an alternate dimension of extroversion.

“A-Ah, I couldn’t intrude in such a way.” Hongjoong shakes his head even though no one is looking directly at him.

“I’m, uh, I’m sure Mr. Kim has other plans for dinner. We shouldn’t spring plans on him like this, darling. Maybe—” Yunho shifts to look at Hongjoong with an imperceptible gleam to his eyes that will have him thinking for weeks about what it could mean “—maybe some other time.”

“Maybe some other time.”

“Like you mentioned.”

Hongjoong really doesn’t have a crush on the man or anything like that; Yunho is merely a rather attractive man and happens to be his ideal type. But the prospect that the comment has does make his stomach do a little flip and turn every which way, and that is dangerously close to developing feelings for the man. So, he does what any logical anxiety-ridden human being would do.

“I’m free on Friday. If, well, if that might work for you.”

Yunho’s thin lips fall agape, tongue poking forward to swipe over the front of his teeth.

“That… actually, yeah, that would work. Are you sure though? I don’t want you to feel obligated or anything. I could always get you a gift card if you’d rather.”

“No, no, I’d love to come for dinner. If you’ll have me that is.” Hongjoong, you dipshit, he literally offered.

“Of course we will. I would really love to thank you for all you do for Akemi and me. I just… don’t how else to do it.” Yunho motions towards the little girl, who now hums happily to herself and collects her belongings into her school bag. “She’s been wanting to invite you for quite some time but I was, uh, nervous about asking you to do more than you already do.”

“I can’t think of anything better than a nice dinner.” Hongjoong offers up a small shrug if only to quell the churning of nerves in his gut that only heightens when one side of Yunho’s lips quirks up into a smile.

“Well then, I’d better hope my cooking can live up to those expectations.”

I’m sure it can. Hongjoong has to bite the tip of his tongue to keep the words from slipping out but he manages to return Yunho’s grin with one of his own.

“You can let me know a good time that works for you whenever we’re closer to Friday. I’m sure my schedule will be clear.”

And maybe when Hongjoong breathes the words out in a tone that is a bit airy and light, Yunho’s wide eyes blink back at him with as much gratitude as those dark orbs can hold. There’s such a gentle warmth to them that Hongjoong truly feels like he is the one doing something nice for the man rather than the other way around.

…

“So let me get this straight, even though this is far from the straight category,” Wooyoung starts, palms facing Hongjoong’s exasperated expression as he mulls over his next words. San sits at his side with an equally perceptive stare, but Hongjoong doesn’t bother to look at the latter man. “You want your student’s father’s dick up your ass?”

“Wooyoung, no!” Hongjoong protests in an instant, already midway to dropping his head on the granite countertop. How he could afford an apartment with such granite is mind-boggling, but he’s never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth, as the saying goes.

“Then you want your dick up his ass? Look, hyung, it’s either one or the other. You can’t have both at once, maybe you can alternate days or something but—”

“I wonder if you could though,” San chirps. He shifts to look at his lover who sends a confused glance in his direction with little other acknowledgment. Hongjoong already knows where this conversation is headed without needing San to continue it at all, but the man must not pick up on Hongjoong’s mental screams for him to stop. “I suppose the actual asshole and dick are too far apart for that to be probable… unless you’ve got a toy. Then you can simultaneously ride a toy and fuck someone and have the best of both worlds.”

“Why are we having this conversation? We do not need to be having this conversation! At all!”

“Dipshit, just have a threesome at that point,” Wooyoung remarks before shifting to smack San’s arm hard with the back of his hand.

“Is that your way of saying you wanna invite Seonghwa over?”

“No, you idiot, Seonghwa is engaged.” Wooyoung rolls his eyes as though San has just said the unspeakable, then returns to staring Hongjoong down with sharp eyes. He pauses a moment there, seeming to remember something, and chimes up once more, “Besides, I dipped my toes in those waters, and Seonghwa is far too gentle and vanilla for my liking. I’m sure Yeosang absolutely adores that himself, but I need to be demolished in the bedroom.”

“Gross, just – too much information, Wooyoung!” Hongjoong groans. The man in question just lifts his hands to his head as though to defend himself.

“Okay, first of all, I will personally body you just for saying that in front of Hongjoong. Secondly, when the fuck did you sleep with Seonghwa?”

“Like… um, a couple months before he and Yeosang got together? I don’t really remember it all too well because – well, it was boring, okay? Don’t tell him I said that, he’ll rip me a new one.”

“I would pay to see Seonghwa fight you honestly.” San glances over Wooyoung’s smaller frame, eyes narrowed in a way that shows he’s mentally measuring Wooyoung up with Seonghwa, who is far taller than him to begin with so that’s just a disaster waiting to happen.

“I know you would, which is why I’m not giving you head for the next three days just for that.”

“God, you two are so gross.”

“Three days? Come on, isn’t that a bit harsh?”

“Hello, um, can we talk about my gay panicking instead?” Hongjoong pleads, motioning towards himself with flopping hands, and Wooyoung only snorts in response at first. San huffs out a sigh but relents in the discussion. He leans towards Wooyoung, chin coming to a rest atop the man’s shoulder, and despite all Wooyoung’s insistence that he was annoyed, he just leans into the touch. A hand reaches up to comb through San’s black hair.

You see, Hongjoong might be fascinated by the love a parent harbors for their child, but there is something else that sends him reeling far more often. The most daunting and terrifying kind of love is the romantic one that he runs from so often. Maybe that is why he can’t bear to be around Wooyoung and San as much as he used to because they display it with such ease and carelessness, like love doesn’t hurt or burn or ache the way Hongjoong knows it does. He has had many a relationship in all his time on Earth, and unfortunately, they have all ended in a crashing burn of flames and chaos – quite literally for his last relationship – so forgive him if he is a bit bitter and scalded by those failures.

It isn’t that he is not happy on his own. He has a nice apartment meant for one and that’s lovely, along with the betta fish Seonghwa and Yeosang bought for him as a moving-in gift named Karl, who is cherished company even if he just swims around his tank without doing much of anything. The point being that Hongjoong has never actively sought out a relationship or a special someone because he has never thought that he actually needed it.

Why seek something that could hurt you when you’re perfectly fine on your own?

“Listen, this is all beside the point,” he starts, waving a dismissive hand through the air in an effort to shut the other two men up. “We’re here to talk about how I accidentally agreed to go to his house for dinner knowing damn well that I don’t know how to socialize with a stray cat in the street let alone a very cute man who happens to be my type.”

“So you have a date.”

“It’s not a date, Woo! It is a somewhat casual thank you dinner that is… quite casual.”

“Date or not, you better not wear that fucking sweater vest that you insist looks good,” San remarks. His lips curl into a scowl, and he shakes his head ever so slightly at the mere thought of said article of clothing.

“Hey! It does look good!”

“It makes you look like you’re going through a midlife crisis!”

“Well, maybe I am!”

“You damn well must be if you’re behaving like this but still insisting that you aren’t even a little bit attracted to this man and don’t see potential in him!”

San’s words shut Hongjoong right up in an instant. Of course, the man isn’t wrong about the statement. Maybe that is what Hongjoong has been adamantly avoiding since Monday, and these past four days have just been a blur of anxiety surrounding the potential of falling for Yunho. Wooyoung must read the distress on his features.

“You can always back out and say that you need to raincheck. You shouldn’t cause yourself any extra worry over something like this.” Wooyoung draws his brows together to add to the concern already on his features.

“Kind of shitty of me to cancel an hour before the dinner,” Hongjoong grumbles, bringing his arms up to cross over his chest in a defensive manner that Wooyoung picks up on instantly.

“Joong…” There is far too much sympathy in his stare; maybe if Hongjoong were feeling particularly self-loathing, he would go so far as to say it looks like pity. He knows deep down that it isn’t pity. Wooyoung has been with him for every breakup in the past eleven years, they have been best friends for longer than that, and perhaps at one odd point during their teenage years, they had an escapade of their own that caused issues in some of Hongjoong’s relationships before. Yet even though Wooyoung knows him better than anyone on the face of the planet, it is always San who picks him apart like he’s a book. Hongjoong feels his prying and perceptive gaze on the side of his face before he says a word, and he makes the impulse decision to spew nonsense just to save himself from San’s impending lecture.

“I’m not interested! I’m not, and I don’t want to be. I will do this one dinner so he can feel fucking better about himself, then I will put all thoughts of him behind me.”

San draws his lips into a tight purse.

“Look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t see any hint of potential in him.”

Hongjoong jerks to look the taller man in the eye, gaze wavering a bit as he tries to come up with a reasonable and believable response. That is answer enough for San, and he shakes his head with a frown painting his features now.

“Don’t throw away something good just because you’re scared, Hongjoong.”

“I’m not scared.”

Lie. They all know it too.

“Then promise to see this dinner through without trying to sabotage yourself.”

“Fine,” Hongjoong relents. That must be enough for San because he flips his frown into a soft-sided grin and nods in his direction. As though on cue, his phone dings with a notification atop the counter, and Hongjoong glances down at the device at the same time that the other two men do.

“Prince Charming awaits!” Wooyoung chirps through a toothy grin. Hongjoong has half a mind to lean across the counter and smack him upside the head, but instead, he snatches up his phone to read the message that just came through. It is, as expected, an address complete with an all too cute smiley face emoji at the end that makes Hongjoong want to scowl just because of how damn adorable it is. He hastily types out a ‘thanks, I’ll be there soon’ response and hits send before Wooyoung can tell him to play up the flirting and hit on him. “Okay but seriously don’t put on that sweater vest!”

“Jeez, I won’t!” Hongjoong waves the man off as he retreats to his tiny bedroom only to have Wooyoung trail after him with shuffling feet.

“Do you still have that leather jacket I got you last year?”

“I’m not wearing a leather jacket to a dinner with my student and her father.”

“Can you at least wear something a little less… teacher-y?” Wooyoung runs a hand through his hair, a sigh escaping him as he glances over Hongjoong’s closet in dismay.

“What are you trying to say?”

“You dress like an old man. I want you to at least look cute.” Wooyoung hums a little to himself while drumming his fingers over his chin. “White button-down with that brown cardigan you have and some cuffed jeans. And the black oxfords that you redesigned. So you can show off how cute and artsy you are! Oh, do you still have those wireframe glasses you used to wear so much? Let’s get those too.”

“Isn’t this too much effort? What if he’s just – I don’t know, wearing sweatpants?”

“You really think he’s gonna be wearing sweatpants?”

“I, well, maybe not—” Wooyoung interrupts him with a harsh slap to the back of his arm, knuckles hitting his skin so hard that it burns a bit.

“Good, now go get changed. No complaining or I’ll bite your armpits.”

“That’s an oddly specific threat…”

“I said no complaining!”

Hongjoong grumbles a little under his breath as Wooyoung tosses the closes he picked out at his chest, then he slips into the bathroom to quickly slip into them. He shouldn’t even be putting this much effort into the outfit or reading too much into this dinner because it’s nothing more than a simple thank-you dinner. He keeps reminding himself of that fact over and over. It isn’t an invitation to be friends or to have some semblance of a casual relationship, even if Hongjoong would kinda like to be at least friends with Yunho. He’ll probably get there, talk with Yunho about Akemi’s schoolwork, then leave.

Wooyoung springs on him the second he steps out of the bathroom in the new outfit, hands pushing the wireframe glasses he mentioned earlier onto the bridge of Hongjoong’s nose and setting them straight. The man’s lips twitch into a smile as he leans back to admire his work.

“Perfect. He won’t be able to take his eyes off you.” Wooyoung presses the pad of his index finger against the tip of Hongjoong’s nose, leaving him with that before stepping away and motioning towards the door. “Now go have fun, and try not to overthink this whole thing too much.”

“You do realize who you’re talking to, right?”

“Oh hush, you twat. If nothing else, just take it as an opportunity to do something nice for yourself. I know clubbing with Sannie and me isn’t always your favorite, so here’s a chance for you to do something else. And! Since I know you and I know you would do something stupid, if he invites you to stay for drinks after his daughter goes to bed, you fucking say yes, okay?”

“He most definitely won’t do that but whatever.”

…

As it turns out, that is exactly what Yunho does. He corners Hongjoong while the shorter man stands at the sink, washing the plates used for dinner by hand because he demanded that Yunho let him do something in return for the incredible meal Yunho prepared for his visit. Perhaps Hongjoong just takes so little care of himself that any homecooked meal is a good one though; he is far too used to eating instant ramen on the couch after work and calling it a healthy diet by eating a handful of blueberries afterward. He couldn’t put a name to the dish Yunho made even though Yunho mentioned it when he walked in the door. His mind was too addled with anxiety because there the impossibly tall man stood with a crisp white button-up and really nice black trousers that definitely show off how good his ass is (not that Hongjoong could look for long because Akemi came rushing to the door as well).

All throughout dinner, Yunho kept him occupied with questions and menial chatter, things about the school and what the curriculum for the year is. It added up in Hongjoong’s mind; he had already figured that Yunho would wanna talk a lot about Akemi and school rather than anything personal. The scene was oddly intimate despite the less than personal questions. Just the three of them – Hongjoong, Yunho, and Akemi – seated around a small wooden table in a pretty standard suburban home. That was the moment Hongjoong got the nonverbal confirmation that Yunho is indeed a single father, then the verbal confirmation came when Hongjoong slipped his shoes off by the door upon Yunho’s prompting.

“It’s just the two of us, so I apologize if the house is a bit of a mess. I only have time to clean after work.”

Hongjoong insisted that it was fine and that he could not even see a single speck of dust in the house, which Yunho had laughed too loudly at and the sound rumbled in Hongjoong’s gut for too long.

Yunho is smart, Hongjoong will give him that. He makes sure to snag Hongjoong when he has no escape, hands coming to rest on the edge of the counter as he looks to the shorter man with wide and hopeful eyes. Hongjoong nearly drops the plate in his hand because of the way Yunho’s eyes seem to twinkle under the yellow lights of the kitchen.

“Um, you don’t have to say yes, but I got a bottle of red wine for tonight if you’d like to stay and have a drink? I’m about to put Akemi to bed. I normally, uh, drink alone on Friday nights.”

Well god fucking dammit Jeong Yunho, why did you have to say it like that? The man could probably weave the saddest sob story in existence with just those gleaming eyes, and Hongjoong would bend over backward for him because he can’t help himself. And Wooyoung’s words are ringing so loudly in his head that he can hardly think straight. He’s willing himself to say no despite what his friend said and the look in Yunho’s eyes, yet the words that actually come out of his mouth are —

“Yeah, I’d love to!”

Maybe the smile that decorates Yunho’s lips afterward makes it worth it.

“Cool, yeah, I’ll be quick I promise. She normally doesn’t take long to get tucked in.”

“That’s fine. Take your time!”

Yunho leaves with a nod, and it gives Hongjoong a moment to breathe easy while he’s gone. He takes his precious time in cleaning the remainder of the dishes just so that he can stay busy and not have to stand around waiting. In all honesty, this is a disaster waiting to happen. Wooyoung made sure to drive him over both because he wanted to see Hongjoong off and insisted that Hongjoong would get wasted while at Yunho’s so he had to be the responsible one. (As though Wooyoung has ever been responsible a day in his life; Hongjoong is always the designated driver on club nights because the man throws alcohol back like it’s his job). His alcohol tolerance could prove to be an issue though, so it’s probably for the best that Wooyoung drove him. Even a single glass of wine could make him tipsy, and he is a nervous drinker on top of that.

It’s fine, it’s fine. It will be fine. Just one glass of wine then you can tell him that your friend is waiting outside. Is it lame to have your twenty-five-year-old friend pick you up when you’re twenty-six? Why does this feel like high school?

Hongjoong doesn’t realize he’s standing at the sink and scrubbing a wet rag over the same plate over and over again until Yunho comes up on his right.

“You good?”

“Fuck – I mean shit, damn, um, fudge! Fudge. Yeah, fudge.”

Yup, there’s a great example for your kid, Yunho! Hongjoong mentally uppercuts himself in the nose as he sets the last plate on the drying rack and fumbles to put everything back in its proper place. Yunho huffs out a loud laugh, chin tipping back to expose the long column of his throat, and Hongjoong most definitely spends far too long staring at the way his tendons twitch.

“Well, that explains why Akemi always tells me to say fudge when I cuss in front of her.” He shakes his head, still laughing a bit under his breath. He slips away from Hongjoong’s side, and the shorter man uses it as an opportunity to catch his own breath and calm his racing heart. “You big on wine, Mr. Kim?”

Mr. Kim. The name sounds a bit odd and foreign on Yunho’s tongue in such a setting, and Hongjoong has to tell himself that that discomfort is the reason why he says what he does next.

“You can call me H-Hongjoong if you’d rather.” He can’t keep from stuttering in his sudden state of nervousness, and Yunho twists to look back at him from the other side of the kitchen.

“With the stammer and everything?” Yunho jokes through a hum. Hongjoong whips around to face him, a bit of disbelief coating his expression, and the other man just lifts two empty wine glasses and motions back towards the dining table. “You can call me Y-Yunho then. For solidarity.”

Hongjoong would really love to punch him in that pretty mouth of his because curse him for being the entire package. Was being tall and attractive not enough? God had to make him cute and adorable, along with having a beautiful natural flush to his cheeks that comes out when he smiles or laughs? And he has a nice ass and a good sense of humor? Hongjoong is absolutely screwed and not in the way he wants to be. He is gonna leave this dinner tonight fully whipped for this man. The brief and fleeting thought to call Wooyoung for backup and get the hell out of here earlier than intended crosses his mind, but that is swept away when Yunho straddles a chair and spreads his legs far wider than is even remotely necessary. Hongjoong’s body just moves on its own at that point, and he finds the seat on Yunho’s left.

It feels like there is lead rushing through his veins rather than blood. Almost a heady sensation like Hongjoong is already drunk despite not having had a drop of alcohol yet. Yunho rectifies that quickly though, pouring a glass of the dark red liquid and passing it over to Hongjoong with long fingers splayed over the bottom of the glass. He doesn’t drink from it right away as much as he wants to. It would be bad etiquette to start drinking before him surely, and the stretch grin Yunho wears when he notices the gesture almost hurts Hongjoong’s heart.

“So, Hongjoong, I don’t believe I know how old you are.” His name sounds really wonderful coming from Yunho’s lips, but that is a dangerous thought. And Yunho looks dastardly good taking a languid sip from his wine glass. Focus, Hongjoong, focus.

“I’m, uh, turning twenty-seven in early November.”

“Oh?” Yunho sounds genuinely surprised by that, head tilting to the side to accentuate his shock. “I would never have guessed. You hardly look twenty-three.”

“I get that a lot. Youthful genes blessed me.”

“Apparently so. I swear I’ve got to look older than you and I’m twenty-six.”

Ah. Younger than expected. Hongjoong honestly assumed the man was older than him simply because he has Akemi, and while the girl is only six, he figured Yunho would at least be upper twenties. He hopes that the shock doesn’t read too well on his features but he has no such luck.

“Shocking, I know. Had Akemi early while we were still in college. Lots of… it was both good and bad, but it turned out to be more than worth it in the end because she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Yunho stares at the table while he speaks, but Hongjoong can see emotion shining clearly in his dark eyes regardless.

It’s that same raw and open one he saw before, the purest form of love he can think of, and he has to gulp down some wine to keep from getting overwhelmed by the mere sight of it. Despite having technically known Yunho for five (nearly six) months now, Hongjoong still can’t find it in him to think it’s appropriate to breach the subject of Akemi’s mother. This is still their first personal one on one conversation, the first time they’ve exchanged names, and Hongjoong can’t very well ask something so personal this soon.

“I’ve been a bit curious, so I hope you don’t mind me asking,” Yunho starts, looking to Hongjoong with a bit more fervor in his movements. “What made you think to call Akemi butterfly? I don’t think I’ve ever come across another person who calls her that.”

“Her mother used to call her that.”

Hongjoong should have prepared himself for the question because that statement Yunho had made earlier in the week opened a door that would come back to bite him later. This must be later.

“Um, I hope this doesn’t… sound odd or anything, but the first day she came to class, she had a clip in her hair. One with—”

“A blue butterfly on it,” Yunho finishes for him.

“Y-Yeah. It stood out to me since I’ve always liked butterflies myself.” Hongjoong thinks back to the pair of shoes he left by the door with small blue butterflies painted along the sides. “You probably didn’t see them when I came in, but my shoes – uh, they have butterflies on them too.” He motions past Yunho’s shoulder and towards the door, but Yunho only stares directly at him and nowhere else.

“I noticed that! It look hand-drawn too, or maybe painted?”

“Painted, yes. I reform clothes I own sometimes and shoes as well if I come up with a cool enough idea. Just a side hobby, I guess, like piano.” Hongjoong sips at his wine to busy himself and not focus on the way Yunho gazes at him intently. He isn’t used to this: talking about himself, his interests, things he does in his spare time. Wooyoung and San know him well enough to have witnessed his growth into those hobbies, and he doesn’t really have discussions like this with his fellow teachers. Maybe he mentioned it once or twice in passing to Seonghwa, but he and the man likely changed the topic quickly. It’s a little bit embarrassing for him as a twenty-seven-year-old to talk about what he enjoys doing like he’s back in high school or college. Something about the way Yunho offers an encouraging nod shoots that insecurity out the window.

“You know, Akemi talks about you a lot when I pick her up.” He drags a finger over the rim of his wine glass, eyes trained on the liquid inside. “She loves talking about you more than what she learned or her friends in the class. This is probably weird but I think I’ve learned a lot about you through her. The piano lessons and drawings, how you’ll sometimes draw pictures for her or show her your reformed clothes and shoes. I’m seriously grateful that you’re her teacher and that she has you in her life.” The words are spoken with too much emotion for Hongjoong’s liking, and his gut melds into a deep pit of growing agony.

“You don’t have to…” Hongjoong can’t even finish the thought. You don’t have to thank me, he wants to say. Yunho shakes his head.

“As much as I do to support us as a family and provide for her, it still falls short more often than not. Maybe this is too open of me, but I work a typical nine-to-five job as a business firm. Most if not all of my friends live out of town or work in similar fields and have lives like mine. When I have to go out of town for business trips, I have to leave Akemi with a friend in the next city over. I don’t – I don’t get to be the dad that she deserves to have. I can’t teach her new things, play with her in the park, and sometimes I can hardly… hardly spend time with her in general because of all that. The fact that you are so ready and willing to sacrifice your time for someone who isn’t even your kid or responsibility is quite telling of how good you are as a person. I am glad that she can have you as some sort of father figure in her life.”

“I can – I can hardly take any credit,” Hongjoong whispers, not daring to raise his tone any higher than that.

“You don’t need to,” Yunho replies in a tone just as quiet. “This dinner… I know very well that there is nothing I can do to repay you for what you are doing for Akemi. My heart will never be satisfied no matter what because you – you are doing something that even her mother refused to do, and that is simply to not leave her alone. I guess that’s my way of saying that I admire you quite a bit, Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong’s heart is in absolute shambles. Yunho is being too open, too raw, too giving in his emotions. It’s like Hongjoong can see straight through his chest and into his heart, pull the organ out and listen to every pang and stitched scar over it with ease. He is merely being genuine with Hongjoong, yet that one thing is more than all of Hongjoong’s exes combined could not do. He wills his mouth to work properly, jaw stuttering and wavering without purpose for too long before he can speak again.

“If y-you ever need someone to look after Akemi while you’re out of town, I would be happy to do so. My apartment – where I live, I mean – it’s not too big, but I would gladly sleep on the couch so she can sleep in the bed, and I live alone so it’s not like there would be anyone else with us and—”

“You’d truly do that?” The shock in Yunho’s voice almost hurts to hear, like he can’t believe anyone would do such a thing for him. In the back of his head, Hongjoong internally questions those friends that Yunho mentioned and how reliable they truly are. It catches him off-guard though. He isn’t making the offer because he wants Yunho to like him or trust him or anything unsavory. He would make the same offer to any parent who needed help; Hongjoong truly values his job but he cherishes each student of his even more than that. Seeing people struggle on their own is never pleasant – a thing he recognizes in others but refuses to recognize in himself – so if he can make Yunho’s day to day life even the tiniest bit easier, then he would jump at the opportunity.

“Of course.”

“Are you truly real?”

Hongjoong needs at least another glass of wine in him before Yunho starts having an existential crisis, but this sort of disbelief seems a bit different, something that stagnates the air between them and lets them hover in each other’s breaths like it’s the only thing that matters.

“I would hope people value you enough to give you the bare minimum of what you deserve, Yunho.” Hongjoong doesn’t realize that it’s the first time he’s used the other man’s name until he folds his lips into a soft grin.

“You forgot the stutter.”

Hongjoong dares to smile back, nose scrunching up and cheeks rounding under the wire frames of his glasses.

“My apologies, Y-Yunho.”

Yunho doesn’t respond this time, but there doesn’t seem to be a need to. The air returns to its pleasant trill, alight and humming with the beads of anticipation, and Hongjoong settles into the cloud with a newfound sense of ease and comfort in front of Yunho. There remains a stark sense of fear in his bones, one that does not care for the thoughts of where this might lead, what feelings will bud in his chest as a result, or how hard Hongjoong will recklessly fall because that’s how it always is.

“I don’t know if — this may be too bold but, uh, would you like to come for dinner again?”

This is a slippery slope and Hongjoong is already in the midst of falling.

…

It’s October now, nearing November in less than two weeks which will mean another bland birthday for Hongjoong to pass through with little interest and lots of enthusiasm from both Wooyoung and San. In the past six (yes, six) weeks since his first dinner with Yunho and Akemi, Hongjoong has been over to visit at least eight times. Once a week was the agreement he and Yunho came to after the second visit, the kind smile splayed over Yunho’s lips too much for Hongjoong to say no to, but the spare two visits came as a result of a spur of the moment decision on weekdays where Akemi begged for more time with Hongjoong and Yunho demanded to treat him to dinner as thanks. It is pleasant. Too pleasant. Hongjoong already knows that he has tumbled into a dangerous territory that consists of feelings of euphoria and happiness, butterflies churning in his stomach every time Yunho’s tinkling laugh graces his ears, and no matter how much he tries to push it out of his mind, he can’t.

Hongjoong likes the man. It would be much easier if he knew that Yunho did not like men at all, but alas he learned of that a while ago, maybe on his sixth visit to the Jeong household. What had they even been talking about again? Oh, right it was about being a disappointment to their families.

“You don’t talk much of your own family, Hongjoong. Is that a… sensitive topic?”

“Oh, uh, no. It’s not that I have a bad relationship with them or anything like that. There is a bit of tension? I guess you could call it that. I stopped going home to visit them because the plane tickets were getting to be too much and every time I walked in the door, I would just get an earful about how I never bring a wife home.”

“Not into marriage?”

“Not into women.”

Yunho had choked midway through a sip of wine, and Hongjoong thought the man was going to keel over on the floor with the way he was coughing, cheeks blazing red in embarrassment. Once he had finally recovered enough to speak again, Hongjoong’s heart plummeted, but only because he knew there was no way for him to back out of the crush that had formed.

“Well, we have disappointed parents in common then. Mine couldn’t believe I had a kid before marriage, then just about had a heart attack when Akemi’s mother walked out. Made things even worse when I brought my first boyfriend home for the holidays when Akemi was three. They were at least glad when the next girlfriend came around, but I can’t seem to make a relationship stick enough to live up to their standards. They at least love to dote on Akemi and look after her when they can, so I guess I can’t complain all too much.”

Hongjoong hadn’t let the conversation go any further than that, swiftly changing the subject because he was terrified of letting it continue and exposing the ugly and gross bits about his own past to Yunho. He isn’t ready for that. It would be too intimate and vulnerable. That’s what he has to tell himself at least.

Now Hongjoong finds himself yet again in Yunho’s house, but this time the situation is far different. First of all, it’s a Sunday night and not a weekday. Secondly, Yunho is not home. Hongjoong did not break-in, as suspicious as it sounds. The previous Tuesday evening found Hongjoong over for dinner and Yunho mentioned that he had to leave in the morning for a business trip so they wouldn’t be able to do their typical Friday dinner.

“Do you need me to watch Akemi?”

Hongjoong hadn’t even hesitated to ask the question.

“I was hoping to ask if that would be too much actually. I… I would really appreciate it. I’m not used to midweek trips, but I don’t want her to miss school because of this.”

“I’d be happy to look after her while you’re gone, Yunho. I can bring her to school with me in the mornings.”

“Would you please? I can – I can pay you for it or something. I wouldn’t want you to do it for free or–”

“I want to do it for free. Please, Yunho, it’s a – it’s what friends would do, right?”

Friends. Yeah, Hongjoong had breached the invisible line and defined their relationship then and there. Before then, they hadn’t spoken of it or said anything definitive about what they are. Hongjoong couldn’t very well say yeah it’s because I have a crush on you actually so don’t worry about it.

But in any case, that led to Yunho dropping Akemi off for school on Wednesday morning with a little travel bag of clothes and belongings so that she could have her things while she stayed at Hongjoong’s. Hongjoong brought her home in the evening right after school, which was quite the fever dream because he hadn’t gone home on time like that in months.

It was a steady process they formed: go to school a bit early for Hongjoong to prepare his things for the day, leave right after school ended, spend time doing fun things a kid would normally do after school, eat dinner, and go to sleep in Hongjoong’s all too large bed while the man slept on the couch.

On Friday after school, Hongjoong dared to take Akemi to the park to go cloud watching, then they went and bought matching pairs of shoes to bring home and reform together. Hongjoong had drawn small butterflies across the side of Akemi’s white sneakers and told himself that he wouldn’t get too attached to the little girl. That would make the end of the school year far too hard to handle because he wouldn’t get to move up with her to second grade.

For Saturday, he took Akemi to an ice skating rink and held her hand tight against his as they slid over the ice together. An elderly couple watching their grandchildren from the side of the rink asked if Hongjoong wanted pictures with his daughter. Akemi begged for him to say yes with such big and bright eyes that he couldn’t even bother correcting the couple. His cheeks still hurt from laughing and smiling so much even though several hours have passed since then. Hongjoong brought Akemi home to her house rather than his afterward since Yunho said he would be coming home in the evening, and they agreed to meet up after so Hongjoong could return the spare house key.

That is why Hongjoong finds himself seated on the leather couch in Yunho’s living room, thumbing through the channels mindlessly to keep himself busy as he waits for Yunho to get back. Akemi has already been put to bed since she was tired after ice skating, and Hongjoong managed to make a pot of mac and cheese without burning the kitchen down, which is good by his standards. It’s well past eight o’clock, and Yunho said he would be home by six so Hongjoong is maybe sorta kinda starting to get extremely worried about the man’s whereabouts. In fact, he’s about to try to call the man to see if everything is okay when the door handle jiggles. Hongjoong jerks to shut the television off, eyes wide with a nagging panic that someone is trying to break in, but the door swings open to reveal Yunho at long last.

Saying he looks exhausted would be a gross understatement. He looks worse than ever, tired and overwhelmed in every way, but as his gaze falls to where Hongjoong sits on the couch, a shaky sigh slips from his lips, almost as though he is relieved to see the other man sitting there. It tugs at his heartstrings, makes his stomach drop a bit too much, and Hongjoong inhales sharply to bury the feeling.

“I already put Akemi to bed,” Hongjoong whispers, scared to speak any louder than that. Yunho offers a nod but nothing else in response as he shuts the door behind him and drops his travel bag to the floor. He doesn’t even smile, which is something Hongjoong has never seen from the man. He seems to always be wearing a smile no matter what, and Hongjoong can’t describe the odd, misplaced pain in his chest that comes with seeing the blank slate that is Yunho’s expression. “How was your trip?” Careful, calculated, wary. He isn’t sure what is overstepping, but this is the best he can do right now.

“It was… it was fine until the end. I’m sorry I’m late. Stopped at the store to get some groceries and uh—” Yunho stops himself there, hand coming up to run through his dark hair. Hongjoong feels compelled to get up. His legs work before his brain does, and all of a sudden, he is on both feet and moving closer to Yunho for some godforsaken reason. He doesn’t even know what he intends to do until his hand reaches up to grasp at Yunho’s shoulder, shaking the man from his thoughts and offering the faintest bit of comfort.

“I’m here.” Yeah, you’re right in front of him, idiot, I think he knows you’re here.

“I ran into Akemi’s mother.”

Oh.

“She was with the – the guy she cheated on me with.”

Oh. Hongjoong didn’t know that was what had happened between the two of them. He didn’t think to ask, and it wasn’t his business too either, but it makes his heart go out even more to the man because damn. How shitty of a person do you have to be to cheat on your partner after having a damn kid with them?

Hongjoong doesn’t know what the right thing to do is. He racks his brain and tries to find some hint as to what the best idea is, but all he can come up with are memories of how Wooyoung would envelop him in a tight hug after a rough night of memories full of exes and pain. So that’s what Hongjoong does. He leans into Yunho’s space, slots himself in that tiny crack in Yunho’s heart, and wedges himself there. Arms reach higher to fold around the back of the man’s neck until Yunho is forced to bend down a bit and accommodate Hongjoong’s much shorter form, but the taller man hugs him right back in an instant. His breath is hot on Hongjoong’s neck as he releases a shaky exhale, burying his nose deep into the shorter’s neck. It’s all he can do right now, yet it still doesn’t feel like enough.

“She had the audacity to ask about Akemi.” Yunho’s tone is nothing more than a whisper now, like he couldn’t speak louder if he tried, and Hongjoong has a sneaking suspicion that it’s to keep from crying. “Asked if I’d given up on her yet and when I s-said no, she… she said Akemi would be better off if I did give her up.” Yunho tightens his grip on Hongjoong’s waist, arms enveloping him so deeply that Hongjoong can feel his palms squeezing all the way around his sides. If not for what Yunho said, Hongjoong’s mind might drift into unsavory territory. “Am I a bad father, Hongjoong?”

That question hurts so badly to hear. It’s like a knife in his chest that sinks deeper and deeper with each passing second. He doesn’t need time to come up with an answer though; the words are already waiting on the tip of his tongue before Yunho even finished the question.

“No. You’re the best father in the world, Yunho. You do so much for Akemi. You work long hours to provide for her, bring her to school and take her home for education, give her toys and let her do things she enjoys. You take care of her, love her, cherish her the way a father should. You don’t let her want for anything. You give her your absolute best, and that makes you a good father.”

“Yet I can’t give her a mother. I can only give her me.” Hongjoong can’t take the tone of his voice. He pulls back a bit, hands still wrapped tight around Yunho’s neck, and he tugs Yunho until they can look each other in the eye.

“There is no rulebook for parenting, no matter what the internet says or what other parents might say. No commandment says that a child must have two parents to grow up well and have a good life. And it isn’t your fault that Akemi’s mother made those decisions or walked out on both of you. You were the one who stayed, who continues to stay and fight for her still. I wish you could see through my eyes and know that you are doing well.”

“I-I don’t know what to say, Hongjoong.” Yunho’s dark brown eyes swim with unspoken emotions and gratitude, along with some other quivering feeling that swirl amongst them, but Hongjoong can’t place what it is or whether he wants to figure it out.

“You don’t have to say anything.” Hongjoong lets a smile tug at his lips. It’s an invitation for Yunho to do the same, and this time he does, gracing Hongjoong’s eyes with the sight of that precious smile. It sends his stomach spiraling as always, and he has to internally fight the blush that threatens to creep up his neck.

“I need a drink. Or thirty.”

“You can put yourself to bed with one,” Hongjoong huffs. The minimal space between their chests is suddenly making itself known, and he vaguely registers how neither of them have pulled completely away or moved back yet. Yunho’s fingers twitch at his hips.

“Can I convince you to stay for one?”

How can Hongjoong say no to that?

His response to the question is to detach himself from Yunho’s body and move back towards the couch, sending a quick look over his shoulder to see if the man will pick up on what he’s insinuating. Yunho blinks at him in confusion for a few moments. Realization only hits when Hongjoong plops down on the cushions, and he jumps into action, rushing to retrieve some glasses and the wine bottle from the fridge. The look of pure relief on Yunho’s features when he comes to join Hongjoong makes the decision to stay more than worth it.

Over the past few weeks, Hongjoong has come to realize that these moments – the ones where they drink and talk over menial things – are the only ones Yunho has to himself. It’s the only time he gets to do something for himself that isn’t work or taking care of Akemi. Hongjoong briefly wonders when the last time the man went out on his own for fun was but ultimately decides that he doesn’t want to depress himself with the thought.

“Did Akemi behave okay while I was gone?” Yunho inquires, glancing at Hongjoong out the corner of his eye as he pours the drinks.

“Like a dream really. I have no complaints.” Yunho’s cheeks bunch up a bit, and he passes Hongjoong a glass that is far too full of wine but Hongjoong drinks it regardless.

“The pictures you sent were nice to see. I was missing her when you sent them so… perfectly timed.”

Pictures? Hongjoong doesn’t recall sending pictures. Oh wait, yes he does. He sent some as soon as they got home from the ice skating rink, some that the old couple took as well as pictures of Akemi at the park and the shoes they painted together. He tried to push that out of his mind because it felt too domestic for his liking, but it also felt wrong to keep those pictures from Yunho.

“Ha, yeah, the couple who took the pictures at the rink thought I was her dad.” Fuck. Shit. Kim Hongjoong, why the hell would you say that? You aren’t even drunk yet. Hongjoong drinks at his wine with more intensity now, nervously trying to drown his panic in the red liquor in the hopes that it will help somehow. Thank goodness Yunho just smiles wider with nothing but a joyful mirth to his gaze.

“You would be a fantastic father.”

“There’s a difference between being a good teacher and a good parent,” Hongjoong mumbles into his glass.

“I know.” Yunho’s gentle gaze is turning him to jello, or maybe even better, a melted pile of ice cream on the floor. Hongjoong is internally begging for him to change the subject and move onto something else so that Yunho won’t keep staring at him in such a way. He has no such luck. “Do you wanna be a dad one day?”

“I, uh, I’m not sure. Sometimes I feel like being a teacher is more than enough but it would be nice to get to do things like go to the park or paint or something like that with a kid of my own. I barely have my life together as it is, I can’t possibly imagine trying to raise a kid on my own. T-That’s kinda why I admire your efforts so much. But I gotta… gotta find someone who will put up with me long term.”

“You don’t have anyone?” Now that question shocks Hongjoong. He has always pinned himself as the type who is very obviously single and alone, but Yunho sounds like he truly believed the opposite.

“You thought I did?”

“I just – well, I – someone like you, I just figured that you’d be taken.”

Someone like you.

Taken.

Oh dear, Hongjoong needs more wine. He lunges forward without thinking after downing the rest of his glass, refilling it to the same height that it was when Yunho initially filled it. There is no negative connotation to Yunho’s statement, and that is what scares Hongjoong more than anything else. His brain’s first reaction is to think of all the ways he could ruin this here and now, how best to run away, how to set his relationship with Yunho aflame before there is even an opportunity for it to go anywhere, and he hates himself for that but it is to protect himself from the pain.

He knows how this ends, and he would rather destroy it himself than wait for Yunho to leave him.

“Nope, not taken! Can’t keep a relationship to save my life actually.” Hongjoong silently begs that Yunho will understand that he means that he is the problem, not all the exes in his past relationships.

“Any terrible exes I need to know about?”

Why would you need to know about them? Hongjoong wants to ask but he bites his tongue and tries not to think too hard about it.

“Uh, just that all my relationships have ended in flames. Quite literally for the last one.”

“Oh? That sounds like an interesting story.” Yunho hums a little to himself, eyes darting from the ceiling back down to Hongjoong’s face.

“It’s really not… just one bad relationship after the other honestly.”

“I can relate to that quite well, I think.” A deep sigh falls from the man’s lips. He swirls his drink around and watches the liquid toss and turn in the glass for a few moments before Hongjoong finds it in him to say something.

“You’ll find someone who will do right by you.”

“Perhaps, perhaps. Maybe I’m just moaning because it’s been over a year since my last relationship. Haven’t really found the time to go out and meet new people this year.”

“Better than me,” Hongjoong mumbles against the rim of his glass before taking a long drag of the liquor. Curse him for being such a damn lightweight because he can already feel a bit of a tipsy haze slipping over his mind and clouding his thoughts. “It’s been two years since I had a stable relationship.”

“How many unstable ones did you have in-between?”

“Why do you ask?” Hongjoong can’t keep the question off his lips.

“Curiosity?”

Hongjoong waits until he has swallowed another half of his glass before mustering up the courage to answer Yunho’s question, but that proves to be a mistake because the quick intake of alcohol makes his head swim.

“Three or four undefined sexual relationships maybe? All left when I got too attached or because they found me boring outside the bedroom.” He could have done with better phrasing than that. The way he said it makes him sound like an absolute sex demon, which Hongjoong doesn’t think is appropriate to talk about or mention to Yunho, but again his reason is quickly leaving him thanks to the wine.

“They have bad taste then. You are by far one of the most interesting people I’ve met, and I mean that in the best way possible.” Yunho gnaws on his lower lip after speaking, and the corner of his mouth twitches up into a strained smile. Hongjoong mimics the smile with equal awkwardness. The action draws a throaty laugh from Yunho, a sound that reverberates in his chest and sends Hongjoong’s heart into a mad state of gay panic. “Hongjoong, are you already tipsy?”

“Hm?” In Hongjoong’s defense, the most he’s had while at Yunho’s place is one glass of wine and nothing more because he usually is careful enough to watch his alcohol intake. Maybe it’s the mixture of his poor panic-riddled heart and the drinks? Is that possible? He doesn’t even know.

“God, you’re so — you’re already tipsy, aren’t you?”

“I’m not tipsy!” He refutes in haste, but there is already a heat rising up his neck and cheeks that betrays his state of slight inebriation.

“Oh, you’re not?” Yunho tilts his head to the side, exposing the long column of his neck to the yellow light above them. Hongjoong spends too much time eyeing that exposed bit of skin. “You seem a little tipsy to me. You look a little flushed.”

“That’s not tipsiness.” Hongjoong presses his lips to the side of his glass as though it will hide his blushing cheeks. Yunho’s next laugh is an endearing one, and Hongjoong drinks it up like it’s his wine.

“Low alcohol tolerance?”

“I’m short. And petite. And small. Not a lot of space to put alcohol in my body. Besides you’re so—” Hongjoong gestures wildly with his free hand to Yunho’s form before him “—big and broad and wide so you can fit a lot more liquor in there.”

“I do have rather high alcohol tolerance, I’ll give you that. Because I’m… big?” Yunho lets his words trail off as a smirk overtakes his lips. Hongjoong’s cheeks could not get any redder than they are in this moment. The other man must find this absolutely hilarious because he releases a laugh that is far too loud and will most definitely wake Akemi up, and he realizes this a moment too late, hand flying up to cover his mouth. Hongjoong breaks into a fit of laughter with him, falling into Yunho’s space without thinking. He’s caught by gentle hands, and one of those hands moves to catch his teetering wine glass before it can tip over onto the couch. They laugh like that, together, full of each other, pushing themselves closer and closer into one another until every sense is so full of Yunho that Hongjoong thinks he could get drunk off that.

“Daddy?”

Hongjoong moves back so quickly that his vision blurs into a hazy mess. Yunho is still chuckling under his breath even as he turns to look over the back of the couch.

“Mimi baby, why are you up? Hm? Was Daddy being too loud?” Yunho places his glass on the coffee table and pushes himself to his feet, hastily rounding the couch so that he can meet Akemi by the stairs. Hongjoong feels useless as can be, but he just continues to sit where he is and watch the scene unfold before him. Yunho squats down to be eye level with the little girl and brings his hands up to comb through a few stray tangles in her hair.

“I heard you laughing with Mr. Hong!”

Yunho’s chin dips to his chest as he laughs again. He pinches the tip of Akemi’s nose between his index finger and thumb, reveling in the way the girl squeals in delight.

“Yes, well, Mr. Hong and I were laughing about a joke Daddy made.” Yunho glances over to where Hongjoong is sitting. The mirth in his eyes makes Hongjoong take another long sip of wine, but it’s not enough to drown the butterflies flying through his gut. “You should get back to bed, angel. We can’t have you going to bed too late or you’ll be sleepy in the morning!”

“Can you tuck me in, Daddy? Pretty please?”

“Of course, Mimi, I missed tucking you in at night the mostest of all while I was gone.”

“Mr. Hong tucked me in every night! And he would show me the pretty butterflies he painted and would read me a poem to help me fall asleep.” Ah, Akemi, why would you mention that? Hongjoong hides his face behind the safety of his glass and tries not to see whether Yunho turns to look at him or not.

“Hm, yes, Mr. Hong is quite the angel, isn’t he? We gotta go to bed though! Come on, up, up! If you don’t hurry your little booty up the stairs, Daddy is gonna catch the little butterfly and gobble her right up!” Yunho leans in to pinch her sides, but Akemi squeals and darts out of the way, her short and stubby legs flying up the stairs and out of his reach. Yunho moves with her, and Hongjoong can’t keep himself from laughing as he watches the scene unfold before him because it’s just so damn cute and domestic. He couldn’t be more whipped if he tried.

Against better judgment, Hongjoong decides to pour himself one more glass of wine and tells himself that it’s because the cheap store-bought wine is good enough to indulge in more (but he knows it’s to chase the feelings away instead).

“Okay, one little butterfly safely put back to bed without any issue.” Hongjoong doesn’t even hear the man come down the stairs, too busy reclining against the couch cushion and mulling over his drink like the lonely gay he is, and Yunho’s sudden presence behind him startles him more than he’d like to admit. The man stands right behind the back of the couch leaned over it so he can speak into Hongjoong’s ear with too much teasing joy to his tone. Hongjoong just about melts on the spot because holy hell the feeling of Yunho’s warm breath cascading over his ear and down the side of his neck makes him feel even hotter under the collar. He tries not to think about how if he turned his head just a little bit to the left, their lips would touch, and he truly tries not to cave in to that desire and do so. Yunho lingers there, pressed into Hongjoong’s space without moving.

“So.” He isn’t sure what possesses him to say that or where the thought is going. Yunho dips his head as he laughs, and Hongjoong swears up and down that the man accidentally brushes his lips over the bare skin of Hongjoong’s neck. He pulls away too quickly for Hongjoong to process it any further though, sliding back around to the front of the couch to sit down beside him again.

“So, two glasses is all it takes to get you drunk?”

“Tipsy.”

“You admitting it?”

“Fucking smooth, Jeong Yunho.” Oops, did Hongjoong say that out loud? He could have swore he said it to himself only, but the way Yunho is smiling at him tells him otherwise.

“I can be much smoother than that.” Now, Yunho isn’t drunk in the slightest. He doesn’t seem tipsy or affected by the alcohol at all, and he claimed to have a high alcohol tolerance so Hongjoong knows that he isn’t saying things in a drunken haze. So why does it sound like he is flirting?

That’s just how he normally is. It doesn’t mean anything. He talks like that all the time.

“Doesn’t sound convincing, but okay.” Hongjoong gives a small shrug of his shoulders before mentally punching himself in the nose. Tipsy Hongjoong is a menace who should not be allowed to speak for more than two seconds.

“Oh? Should I be convincing then?” Yunho twists to look at him. Hongjoong’s heart stops dead in his chest. One large hand stretches out to take his wine glass from his hands and sets it on the coffee table beside the bottle. He is leaning back into Hongjoong’s space again, this time pushing so close that Yunho’s hip brushes against his knee. Hongjoong could fall forward and —

“I wasn’t done with that,” he protests instead, watching the glass rather than Yunho.

“I think you’ve had enough,” Yunho murmurs back. His tone is much gentler and less teasing this time, and Hongjoong might even go so far as to say that Yunho seems to genuinely care. “I shouldn’t have let you have any if I had remembered that you would have to drive back. I’m sorry.”

“I’m fine!”

“Yeah?”

“Tired. Really tired. Like this couch is way too comfortable and I will fall asleep if you don’t stop me,” Hongjoong babbles. He’s all but forgotten about the flush on his cheeks and how foolish he must look right now. For some reason, the only thing his brain can manage is the thought of placing his hand on Yunho’s knee and leaning against his shoulder. The man shifts before he can do that though, pulling a leg up to mimic Hongjoong’s position. Oh. Now Hongjoong really could fall against his chest and just take a nice nap there—

“Maybe you should stay the night.”

“Yunho.” Why is he saying the man’s name?

“Hongjoong,” Yunho responds with a slight smile. Gonna kiss that stupid pretty mouth one day, Hongjoong thinks to himself, eyes narrowed on the man’s lips. “Can you please stay the night? I don’t think you should be driving in this state.”

Hongjoong tells himself that he needs to say no because staying in dangerous and will only make his feelings worse. Instead, he drops a hand to Yunho’s knee and smiles so wide that it hurts his cheeks.

“Okay.”

Yunho exhales a sigh of relief. His hand falls atop Hongjoong’s, the weight so heavy and warm over him that it makes him see stars. Hongjoong twists so that he can slip his fingers over Yunho’s.

“I-I can let you sleep in my bed. I know you’ve been sleeping on a couch for the past week. I’ll take the couch instead.”

“No, no! Noooo, Yunho, you don’t have to!” Hongjoong protests quickly. He flops back on the couch, forgoing the fact that he still has a grip on Yunho’s hand, and the man moves with him, his other hand flying up to steady himself on the pillow that Hongjoong lands on.

Their noses bump against each other.

Yunho doesn’t move away.

“Hi friend,” Hongjoong whispers to quell his rapidly beating heart. Friend. Friend? Hongjoong, are you serious? The man hovering above him can only laugh.

“Hi Hongjoong.” Is Yunho looking at his lips or is Hongjoong seeing things? The man seems to shake himself out of whatever is plaguing him and pulls back to a sitting position. “Are you okay to walk or should I carry you up the stairs?”

“I’m fine!” Hongjoong insists, slipping off the couch cushions and standing upright. He moves far too soon because blood rushes to his head and makes his vision go spotty in the edges. His legs turn to jello in the blink of an eye, but there goes Yunho again, hands finding Hongjoong’s hips and keeping him upright without hesitation. Hongjoong has to keep telling himself that this is what friends would do, Yunho is just doing this as a friend, he is only helping Hongjoong out because they’re friends.

“Next time, I’m watching how much you drink like a hawk.”

“Next time, I’m making sure you get drunk,” Hongjoong grumbles as Yunho loops an arm around his waist and slings one of the shorter man’s arms over his broad shoulders. The heat of his body is too comfortable. Hongjoong debates falling asleep standing up like this but Yunho squeezes his side a little tighter to keep him awake.

“Good luck with that. I’m a tough nut to crack.” A laugh slips from Hongjoong’s lips, and he turns to push up closer to Yunho, caressing his ear with the barest touch of his mouth, and he can feel the way the man quivers under the touch.

“Nut,” he whispers, stifling a giggle.

“How immature, Mr. Kim.” Yunho clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth but still manages to smile as he walks Hongjoong to the edge of the stairs. Hongjoong has to bite down hard on his tongue to keep from saying something much worse. He would preferably like to kiss Yunho on the same spot of his ear, work a path of wet kisses down to his neck and kiss him there as well, but he convinces himself not to.

Yunho drags his slow ass up the stairs with quite a bit of difficulty since Hongjoong’s drunkenness is apparently bad enough for him to struggle with even moving his legs properly. Yunho doesn’t seem to mind, nor does he complain about it either because he lugs Hongjoong until they reach the top of the stairs, pausing to pass him a smile that makes Hongjoong giggle like a schoolgirl in an embarrassing way.

“Mr. Jeong, you’re so cute,” he whispers as he lets his cheek rest against the man’s arm.

“From where I’m standing, you’re much cuter, Hongjoong.”

“Oh?” The sigh slips out without him intending for it to, but he doesn’t bother to correct himself.

“Do you need me to repeat myself?”

“Will you?” Whatever possesses Hongjoong to say that is unbeknownst to him because he had no clue where they come from or why they fall from his lips.

Yunho pauses, looks to the ceiling, then offers a small shrug of his shoulders. His voice is still hushed, no doubt because Akemi is sleeping behind one of these doors.

“Only if you want me to.”

What? Hongjoong catches that much through his dizzied state. Yunho hoists him forward, pushing his way in through one of the doorframes at the top of the stairs. It’s a bedroom, Hongjoong can see that much out the corner of his eye and in the fuzziness of his vision. Yunho pulls him forward a bit more, hands still secured around his waist, and Hongjoong feels like he’s positively floating under the touch.

“Please?” He typically isn’t one to beg or be desperate, but just this once, Hongjoong finds himself wanting to hear the words again.

“I find you quite cute, Hongjoong.” Has Yunho always been this close to him? Hongjoong’s head is no longer pressed to his arm, and Yunho has turned his chin so that he can properly look Hongjoong in the eye.

“I like that.”

“What do you like?” Yunho unravels his arm from Hongjoong’s shoulders, shifting the man so that he can set him down on the edge of the bed. Hongjoong lets him, eyes wide and glassy as he looks up at Yunho.

You.

“You calling me cute,” Hongjoong slurs. A lopsided smile takes over his lips. “Friends can call each other cute, right?”

“…Sure.” If Yunho hesitates in his answer, Hongjoong doesn’t have enough brainpower to process it.

“Cute,” Hongjoong coos moreso to himself than to the man beside him. “You’re so cute, Yunho.”

He can’t help himself any longer. He grabs for Yunho and plants a hand on either side of his face, pulling his head towards his own. He tugs with a bit too much force though because Yunho’s forehead smacks hard on his and knocks Hongjoong back. Yunho is forced to throw his hands down on either side of Hongjoong’s body to stabilize himself before fully crushing the shorter man.

“Ah, I’m such a mess. I’m a tipsy mess. A mess, Yunho, an absolute mess,” he mutters, eyes searching the other man’s face for a sign of discomfort. He finds nothing except a slight red tinge to Yunho’s face and drags his thumbs over the balls of the man’s cheeks.

“An adorable one nonetheless.”

Hongjoong finds himself stretching his neck up a bit. Yunho’s tongue darts out to drag over his lower him, eyes flitting from Hongjoong’s down to his lips and back up again. The visual clue is there, Hongjoong sees it, it’s impossible to miss even while drunk. Yunho’s next words only confirm his suspicions.

“I-I… Hongjoong, I – I want to kiss you b-but—”

“Do it,” Hongjoong blurts before he can stop himself.

“You’re drunk, Hongjoong. I won’t – I won’t take advantage of you like this, not while you’re drunk.”

“I want you to kiss me.”

“Maybe when you’re sober,” Yunho whispers. He hoists Hongjoong further up on the bed with such little effort that Hongjoong’s heart soars in his chest. “Do you want to change clothes?”

“Don’t have anything to wear,” Hongjoong grumbles back. The sudden change in topic hurts him more than he’d like to admit, and the thought of having Yunho so close yet so far away makes him want to sob.

“I have clothes.” The words are stilted and cut short like Yunho wants to say more but can’t bring himself to do it. Hongjoong refuses to move or react. Yunho takes it as an unspoken agreement and slips off the bed to stand up straight. “Let’s get you changed, Hongjoong. I’ll set out some clothes for you.”

When Yunho’s warmth disappears from his side, Hongjoong stretches a hand out after his back but ultimately lets it fall to his side uselessly. He can only watch on with tired eyes, growing more tired by the second as Yunho pulls a shirt and pair of pants out of his dresser. Hongjoong forces himself to sit up and takes the clothes from Yunho’s hands.

“Do you need help changing? I can—”

“I got it, I got it,” Hongjoong interrupts with a small wave of his hand.

“I’ll step into the bathroom then.” Yunho grins a bit before disappearing into said room so Hongjoong can stumble around and change.

“Yunho!” Hongjoong calls out as he’s switching out shirts. “Are you still there?”

“Do you need help?”

“Hm, no, no. Just checking to see if you’re still there!”

The sound of a huffed out laugh echoes through the door.

“I’m still here, Hongjoong.”

“I’m done changing!” It’s a half-truth, but it’s technically a full truth for Hongjoong because he only sleeps in a shirt regardless. He doesn’t bother putting the pants Yunho gave him on mostly thanks to the ridiculous length of them but also because Hongjoong never sleeps with pants on so it seems pointless. He throws himself back on the bed, rolling over to one side of the overly sized mattress as Yunho comes back into the bedroom.

“I – oh, um, Hongjoong, you… pants?” Yunho motions to his all too bare legs.

“Don’t sleep in them,” he mutters back, words still slurring a bit.

“Fair enough, uh, I suppose.” Maybe Yunho’s gaze is lingering a bit too long on the exposed skin of Hongjoong’s thighs, just at the midway point where Yunho’s shirt stops and skin begins. Yunho jerks his head to look in the opposite direction. “If you need anything, just let me know. I’ll be – be downstairs, yeah.”

Yunho doesn’t leave right away. He lingers by the bed, long fingers tracing over the edge of the mattress and eyes staring holes into the side of Hongjoong’s head.

“Can you… would you stay, Yunho?” Hongjoong dares to murmur. He’s too afraid to look Yunho in the eye, too scared of what he might see there (read – rejection). Yunho’s jaw stutters.

“I want to b-but that would be inappropriate of me,” Yunho whispers back. Hongjoong isn’t sure what he wants. He extended an invitation not once but twice, all that’s left is for Yunho to quit stalling and talking himself out of it. He just needs to commit, which is a cruel irony of Hongjoong to say because he can’t commit to even having feelings for the man as it is. Still, Hongjoong can’t be the only one pulling if Yunho isn’t going to move with him.

“Goodnight then, Yunho,” he says through a slightly bitten back tone that conceals his true feelings.

“G-Goodnight, Hongjoong. I hope you – please sleep well.”

Hongjoong is passed out under the sheets before Yunho can even get out the door. The only dreams that plague him that night are the thoughts of what might have happened if they spent the night crammed into each other’s space with little regard for what lines they were crossing or what boundaries they skipping over in Hongjoong’s drunken rush. Every dream he has ends in a nightmare.

…

In the week that has passed since Hongjoong’s drunken night at Yunho’s house, Wooyoung has warned him about getting too attached to the man at least three times. Hongjoong wishes he could say that he doesn’t remember a thing from that night but he remembers it all. The lingering touches, the laughs exchanged in breaths that mingled together, the near kisses, and most of all the way Yunho was so close within Hongjoong’s reach yet so far away at the same time.

“Maybe you aren’t ready for this.”

“For what, Wooyoung?”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all. I’ve seen enough people hurt you, and I do my best to help you recover every time, but I’m always scared that there’s gonna be one worse than the rest. One I can’t fix.”

Yunho is making conversation with Akemi on his right. Hongjoong can barely touch his food thanks to the uneasy feeling settling in his stomach, but he forces some food down just so that Yunho isn’t offended. He can’t quit thinking about that damn conversation with Wooyoung, the latest one that had the most lasting impact on his damn overthinking brain.

“Do you want this, Hongjoong?”

“He doesn’t.”

“How do you know that? You said that he literally wanted to kiss you.”

“I was drunk. Probably only said that because of the way I was acting.”

Maybe Hongjoong can move back home and find a job there. Or he can find a different school so he doesn’t have to see Yunho and his stupidly perfect face anymore.

“Are you tired, Mimi?” Hongjoong pulls his focus back to the scene before him, trying to shake the memories of that conversation out of his mind. Akemi nods her little head in agreement, and Yunho reaches out to comb his hand through her hair. “Okay, butterfly, run upstairs and brush your teeth. I’ll be right there.”

“Can Mr. Hong come tuck me in please?”

Hongjoong’s eyes widen a bit at that. Yunho twists to look at him, lips parted a bit in disbelief, then he returns to smiling at Akemi.

“We’ll see, angel. Head upstairs first.”

Akemi gets up from her seat with a loud giggle and darts around the table within seconds, gone from sight before Hongjoong can even blink. Yunho stands as well, albeit much slower, gathering his plate and Akemi’s from the table to head into the kitchen. Hongjoong follows suit with his own plate. His gaze finds the back of Yunho’s head.

“Do you want me to tuck her in?” He asks once Yunho sets his plates in the sink.

“Would you please? She will probably refuse to sleep unless you do it.”

Hongjoong replies with a smile and a nod, placing his dish on the counter and pulling away to follow Akemi up the stairs. Maybe it’s because he was already too deep in his thoughts but the act of tucking Yunho’s daughter in and putting her to bed before they indulge in some wine feels grossly domestic. It’s funny how much he hates the thought of it because this is what he’s always wanted: a family to come home to, spend time with, and be loved by. If it’s what he’s always wanted, why is his mind telling him to run away?

Akemi is crawling into bed when Hongjoong arrives in the doorway.

“Mr. Hong, Mr. Hong! Do you have a new poem for me?”

“Where did we leave off last time, little butterfly?” Hongjoong hums, stepping further into the room as he pulls his phone out of his pocket.

“You read one about stars and wasting time!” Akemi tugs her sheets up to her chin, bright eyes blinking at Hongjoong with endless wonder, and he grins at her enthusiasm.

“Hm, I have one about love but it’s a bit sappy.” Hongjoong squats beside her mattress and rests his elbows on the edge. Akemi twists to rest on her side.

“I wanna hear it!”

“Okay, okay, close your eyes and listen closely. This is a word we use to plug holes with. It's the right size for those warm blanks in speech, for those red heart-shaped vacancies on the page that look nothing like real hearts. Add lace and you can sell it. We insert it also in the one empty space on the printed form that comes with no instructions. There are whole magazines with not much in them but the word love, you can rub it all over your body and you can cook with it too. How do we know it isn't what goes on at the cool debaucheries of slugs under damp pieces of cardboard? As for the weed-seedlings nosing their tough snouts up among the lettuces, they shout it. Love, love, sing the soldiers, raising their glittering knives in salute. Then there's the two of us. This word is far too short for us, it has only four letters, too sparse to fill those deep bare vacuums between the stars that press on us with their deafness. It's not love we don't wish to fall into, but that fear. This word is not enough but it will have to do. It's a single vowel in this metallic silence, a mouth that says ‘oh’ again and again in wonder and pain, a breath, a finger grip on a cliffside. You can hold on or let go.” Hongjoong concludes with a small sigh, thumb dragging over his screen and blinking down at the typed words with a painful burn in his chest. Akemi’s eyes are squeezed shut, and he thinks the girl is asleep so he slowly gets back up and stands straight again. Before he moves to leave the room, he bends over Akemi’s bed and presses a soft kiss to the girl’s head.

“Is that how you and Daddy feel about each other?” Hongjoong’s heart almost stops dead in his chest. He chokes on air. What does Akemi know about love? About their feelings? About Hongjoong’s feelings?

“Go to sleep, little butterfly,” he murmurs before retreating for good, this time with heart heavier than lead.

Love. Hongjoong doesn’t know if he’s ever been in love. He hasn’t stopped to wonder if he has or not, hasn’t bothered putting certain labels on his past relationships out of fear of greater heartbreak.

He runs into something on his way out of the room, arms swinging up to lessen the blow only for his palms to land on Yunho’s chest as he hits the man. A small curse slips past his lips but it’s thankfully spoken too quietly for Akemi to stir in her bed. Yunho’s expression is unreadable in the darkness. Hongjoong can’t move his hands away from Yunho, and the man doesn’t ask him to, merely placing his hands over Hongjoong’s. He pulls the shorter man out of the room like that, and once they’re fully in the hallway, Yunho reaches around his shoulder to shut the door to Akemi’s room.

“This word is not enough but it will have to do,” Yunho murmurs. “What poem is that from?”

“Variations On The Word Love by Margaret Atwood.”

Yunho sinks his teeth into his lower lip. So close. Hongjoong tries to pull his hands away but Yunho keeps him in place, slowly guiding him to the stairs with little effort.

“We’ll fall down the stairs, Yunho.”

This word is far too short for us, it has only four letters, too sparse to fill those deep bare vacuums between the stars that press on us with their deafness.

“Right.”

“Let’s go downstairs,” Yunho mutters, finally releasing Hongjoong so that he can walk on his own. So far away.

It's not love we don't wish to fall into, but that fear.

Hongjoong’s legs are wobbling on his way down the stairs. This intimacy is foreign. It feels too much like a dance, one that only Yunho and Hongjoong are aware of and only they know the steps to, and Hongjoong can’t recall a time when he ever danced around a person for so long. People take what they want from him and leave him. That’s what Hongjoong is used to, and that’s what he knows how to handle after all this time.

Why is Yunho different?

It's a single vowel in this metallic silence, a mouth that says ‘oh’ again and again in wonder and pain, a breath, a finger grip on a cliffside.

They find their way to the couch where Yunho already has wine out on the coffee table, their unfinished glasses from dinner there as well. Hongjoong sinks to the cushions with a slight exhale of breath. He reaches for the wine immediately like the liquor is an extension of his body.

You can hold on or let go.

Hongjoong is afraid more than anything else that these feelings will ruin him forever, that Yunho will ruin everyone for him because he just seems too perfect. They fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, slotted in each other’s space even as Yunho sinks down beside Hongjoong and their thighs brush together. Hongjoong wants to let go, to see this fail if only to prove that he was right about it all along. His heart is holding onto Yunho like he’s a lifeline.

“I wouldn’t expect you to read love poems, Hongjoong,” Yunho hums before taking a long drag of wine. “Are you secretly a hopeless romantic?”

“I’m not even sure I can make myself believe in love at this point.”

“How badly have you been hurt in the past? To think like that?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I used to think like that myself. Right after Akemi’s mother… after I found out. There was a short period of time where I knew she was cheating but couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I wanted to try to make things work for Akemi b-because I wanted so badly to give her two parents. I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure that she could have both of us growing up and that she wouldn’t be left with just one of us. Guess I failed her the minute her mother decided to walk out.”

“Yunho,” Hongjoong starts, voice hitching a bit in his throat.

“I’m not — I don’t say this to have your pity. I don’t want that. I guess – part of me wants to open up to you because I care about you but also because I can’t help myself around you. Maybe I’m just a fool though.”

“No, Yunho, I—” Hongjoong can’t finish the thought. Why can’t he give? Yunho sits there and pours his soul into every word, bares the most painful parts of himself without hesitation, and Hongjoong can do nothing but whine about how shitty his life is. “I’m the fool,” he whispers after some time has passed. “I’m scared. My last – my last relationship was s-so perfect up until the end, and I’m so afraid that it will happen again. I’m terrified of letting myself g-go enough to let someone in that way.”

“It’s okay to be afraid, Hongjoong. No one is asking you to stop being afraid. Even I’m still fearful of what could happen in the future or if I try again.”

“I guess it’s because I’m used to the pain of heartbreak.”

“That doesn’t mean it will always be that way though,” Yunho whispers, and Hongjoong dares to make eye contact with the man. The stare doesn’t hold for long though because Yunho moves to pour himself another glass of wine, and Hongjoong watches the liquid pour into the glass in silence. Yunho doesn’t speak again until he’s filled his glass and taken a lingering sip from it. “You deserve a chance at happiness too, Hongjoong.”

His response comes in the form of a small choking sound as he drinks too quickly from his wine and inhales the liquor on accident. He coughs his way through it, waving Yunho off when the man leans across the couch in a fit of worry, but Hongjoong really can’t handle him being any closer than he is.

“I-I am happy,” he finally manages to say after clearing his throat.

“Alone?”

“I’m fine on my own.”

Why seek something that could hurt you when you’re perfectly fine on your own?

Hongjoong finds himself asking the question again, though this time he can come up with many more answers than he is willing to admit.

“Every time I look at you, it’s like seeing a reflection of myself. I can see how lonely you are behind that mask you wear.”

“I have friends.” He sounds defensive, and it’s because he most definitely is getting defensive.

“You know that’s not what I mean, Hongjoong.”

“I don’t need to risk being hurt again,” he counters, pushing a bit of vehemence into his tone.

“By that logic, I don’t either but here I am, trying to rectify all the emotions in my body and make sense of them somehow. No matter how many times I’ve been hurt or how badly I’ve been hurt, I still want to keep trying because I truly believe I can get it right one day.”

Why does Yunho have to be right? Why can’t he just be an asshole and break Hongjoong’s heart that way? It hurts knowing that Hongjoong is gonna fuck this up somehow, these lingering feelings have tumbled out of control and he can’t pull them back into his stone-cold heart any longer. A second later, his vision begins to blur. He can’t pinpoint why or what’s going on until Yunho reaches a hand out and places it atop Hongjoong’s knee. Fingers splay over his clothed skin, swamping Hongjoong in the warmth of the touch, and he can’t help but notice how small and fragile he looks under Yunho’s grasp. Something wet falls atop one of Yunho’s fingers, and it’s not red so it can’t possibly be wine but Hongjoong can’t figure out what — oh. He’s crying.

“Hongjoong…”

He must look absolutely pathetic sitting here on Yunho’s couch, fat tears rolling over the balls of his cheeks with an unfinished glass of wine in his hands, but Yunho doesn’t chastise him or ridicule him in the slightest. He merely moves his free hand to take the glass from Hongjoong’s hands, placing it on the coffee table beside his own that somehow ended up over there without a word, and when he reaches back towards the shorter man, he catches Hongjoong’s face in his hands. Yunho swipes his thumbs over the balls of his cheeks with such gentle and caring fingers that Hongjoong can only cry harder because fuck, he’s touch-starved and even a hand on the knee sent him spiraling. Yunho keeps catching each tear that falls without complaint, hands never leaving Hongjoong for a second, and it causes a painful burn to blossom in his chest, one that grows and festers like a wound until it’s all he can feel.

This kind of weakness isn’t one he’s used to. Hongjoong doesn’t let the cracks show in front of other people like Wooyoung or San so they won’t worry about him not being okay, but Yunho just barged in and knocked those brick walls around Hongjoong down as though they were nothing. How does he do it? This damn blundering giant who has stars in his eyes and a laugh so bright that Hongjoong could gladly listen to it for the rest of his life is gonna ruin him forever. He won’t be able to look at anyone if they aren’t Yunho. Hongjoong wants to trust that Yunho will be better to him than all his exes were, but he can’t shake the fear gnawing away at his bones or the nagging sense of inadequacy when he looks in the mirror. Isn’t it too much? Can’t he just have this one nice thing?

Hongjoong wants so badly to throw all caution to the wind and close the distance between him and Yunho right now, kiss the man right on the mouth and tell him how he feels, but all he can do is mumble broken apologies in a choked tone.

“Don’t apologize, Hongjoong,” Yunho whispers back. The way he’s cradling Hongjoong’s face feels like too much, too intimate and too precious, something he shouldn’t allow himself to have, so he reaches up to push Yunho’s hands away from him like the touch is offensive. Hongjoong is good at only one thing and that’s ruining the good he has in his life.

“I – I should g-go. I need t-to go.” He barely remembers to place the spare key on the table beside his glass of wine as he stands up. Yunho moves with him. Hongjoong just wishes that he would stop being so damn considerate and kind and perfect. Stop being everything Hongjoong wants and needs in his life because it hurts too much. He doesn’t even get around the coffee table before Yunho snatches him by the wrist.

“I don’t want you driving in this state, Hongjoong. It’s not safe,” Yunho pleas. Anger bubbles up in Hongjoong’s gut. He’s been in this position before. He has stood in the center of a room with tears running down his cheeks and begged for someone to make him stay. No one ever did. His exes never stopped him or held onto him or asked him not to go.

“Why does it matter?” He spits back in response, and Yunho’s face blurs before him because of the tears. That question seems to catch Yunho off-guard. Hongjoong takes it as an opportunity to escape, slipping his wrist free of Yunho’s grasp and making for the door while he can, but Yunho snaps back to reality too quickly. He’s there to stop Hongjoong at the door; his hand slams against the wood just as Hongjoong turns the handle and cracks it open, pushing it back shut in an instant.

“It matters because I… it’s not safe. I can’t let you go like this in good conscience.”

“So this is about your conscience then?” Reason has left Hongjoong’s body, and at this point, his self-destructive nature has taken the wheel and is ready to drive him off a cliff. Hongjoong just might let it.

“No, I – Hongjoong, please. I c-care about you. I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want you to go out there and be alone.” Yunho’s arm stays planted against the door as though he’s afraid that Hongjoong might try to leave again.

“Can’t you be a fucking terrible person for one second?”

“I don’t know what you want me to do, Hongjoong, but I’m here for you. Please, just stay. I need you to stay, and maybe it’s selfish, yeah. Maybe I’m thinking too much about my own feelings and reading into things too much. But I know that you don’t want to be alone right now.”

“What I want is for you to be like every other person in my life and leave me when I need you most because that hurts less in the long run!”

Yunho’s fingers curl against the door until they’re tucked into a tight fist. His jaw stutters as he tries to come up with some sort of reply, one that will make Hongjoong feel better no doubt, but all Hongjoong wants is to run away. He’s nearing the edge of this cliff and it won’t be long until he tumbles over it, entering a freefall that will result in a dragging sense of pain only to land on another cliff. It’s a sick cycle Hongjoong lives in, but it’s what he’s used to and it’s what he knows how to handle.

“I don’t know what you’ve had to suffer in the past, Hongjoong, or what your past relationships have put you through. I’m not asking for you to tell me either. I just want to give you what you deserve now. You said you had friends so what does that make us? Am I not your friend too? Can you not rely on me too? I want to be close to you, but if that isn’t what you want from me, just say the word and I’ll back off.” The words roll off Hongjoong’s shoulders like they’re nothing, only one having a lasting effect on him in the heat of the moment.

Friend.

The word is laughable on his tongue, and he releases a cruel and sadistic sound that hurts his throat.

Of course. Hongjoong should have known. He told himself this would happen, he warned himself, he looked himself in the eye and said that this was the only outcome out of all of this. So why does it hurt so fucking much? Why did he give himself baseless hopes and wishes to cling to? How could he be so stupid? He drew the line himself. He defined their relationship as a friendship and nothing more. That was what he said would come out of this, and he told Yunho that that’s what they would be. He did this to himself.

If Yunho notices the way tears are flowing harder than before, he doesn’t comment, and this time he doesn’t move to wipe them away either. Hongjoong lifts a shaky and angry hand to furiously brush them off his flushed cheeks.

“I don’t want you to be my friend.” He tries so hard to push rage into the words, some sort of verbal poison that will put Yunho off forever so Hongjoong can just get over himself, but it only comes out broken and weak, like Hongjoong has zero confidence in what he’s saying because he truly doesn’t.

“Then what do you want me to be?”

Why can’t Yunho get it through his thick skull? Why doesn’t he understand what Hongjoong is trying to say?

He pushes as much strength as he can muster into his arms, hands shoving Yunho out of his personal space. Even though Hongjoong doesn’t hit him hard, Yunho’s body moves as though he does, and the man stumbles back on shaky feet. It’s enough to give him the getaway he wants so badly, but Hongjoong just has to drive the knife in Yunho’s chest a little bit deeper before leaving for good.

“I want you to be nothing to me.”

…

Hongjoong has decided that November 7th is the worst day of the year for no reason other than that it is his birthday. He has never enjoyed his birthday; it’s always an overdone celebration that makes him feel worse about getting older, and turning twenty-seven is no different. There is a lot of self-loathing tied to his birthdays every year, but that still never stops Wooyoung or San from trying to do the absolute most for him regardless. Hongjoong woke up to a bouquet of flowers and two small wrapped presents on his counter and Wooyoung on his couch. The gifts were from Seonghwa and Yeosang apparently, small things they sent since they couldn’t be there to celebrate with Hongjoong in person, and Hongjoong is grateful for them even thinking of him today. Wooyoung, on the other hand, is on thin ice.

This year, Wooyoung decided that it would be smart to do something bigger and better than all Hongjoong’s previous birthdays, which means throwing him a party. And before Hongjoong could even say no, Wooyoung hit him with the ‘I already bought all the stuff, San is at home decorating the house, your ass is coming over for drinks whether you like it or not’, so Hongjoong found himself roped into the mess without getting to a say in the matter. Maybe secretly Hongjoong appreciates it though, because he has been doing a lot of wallowing in his miserable feelings and self-loathing since that night at Yunho’s house.

It has been eleven days, not that Hongjoong is keeping track or anything stupid like that, but he has made note of how Yunho won’t look at him when he picks Akemi up from school. They haven’t met for dinner even once in the past two weeks, they haven’t spoken even a word to each other, and Akemi is the only thread hanging between them at the moment. Hongjoong is counting down the days to the end of the school year so the miserable awkwardness can be dispelled and he can move on with his life without having to see Yunho in it. He isn’t necessarily upset at Yunho anymore; it is moreso a matter of Hongjoong hating himself for doing the same shit he always does and ruining something perfectly good and wonderful. San didn’t help either with the long-winded lecture he threw Hongjoong’s way after six days of moping around by himself.

“Just admit that you fucked up. That will help you move on faster and get over these feelings. No one is asking you to be miserable, Joong. No one thinks you deserve to feel that way either, because you don’t. You are the only one making yourself feel that way, and it isn’t fair to yourself. I hate watching you go through this as much as Wooyoung does, but I won’t sit around and watch you hurt yourself without saying anything.”

He went on for a lot longer than that, but Hongjoong has selective memory and that is the only part that really stood out in his mind. Wooyoung made him swear that he wouldn’t think about that today, and Hongjoong is really trying his best not to. Part of him hoped to wake up to a happy birthday text from Yunho even though he knows that’s the last thing he deserves.

“No one else is coming, right?” Hongjoong mumbles from the passenger seat, glancing over to where Wooyoung sits in the driver’s one with one hand on the wheel and the other fiddling with the radio dial.

“That’s a surprise, shush.”

“Wooyoung–”

“You know we wouldn’t bring anyone you hate, right? Just trust us!”

But what about anyone who hates me? Hongjoong wants to ask, mind only envisioning one tall brunette with round cheeks and a stupidly adorable dorky smile. His gut churns with unspoken anxiety as Wooyoung pulls into the driveway at his and San’s shared house. It’s a somewhat recent development for the two of them — moving in together, that is — but Hongjoong thinks the pair will be stuck at the hip forever, so it wasn’t a surprise to him when they dragged him out for house shopping with them. The exterior of the house is blessedly plain when they reach the door, and Hongjoong is glad that Wooyoung didn’t decide to plaster his name in gold across the front of the building on a banner or something drastic like that.

His hopes are shot the moment he steps through the door because rather than seeing San, all he can see are broad shoulders, a brown mop of hair, and lengthy legs standing in the middle of their living room with his back turned on Hongjoong.

He nearly turns on his heel and walks out the door right then and there because how the fuck did Wooyoung manage to get Yunho to come and why the fuck did Yunho agree to be here? Surely he didn’t know this was for Hongjoong. Maybe he somehow knows Wooyoung and San through something else. Even so, how did they convince him to come? This makes no sense, and Hongjoong is reeling so much that he can’t even try to make it make even a sliver of sense. All his brain can do is go: what the fuck Choi San, what the fuck Jung Wooyoung, what the fuck Jeong Yunho.

“We were gonna invite Akemi too, but adult drinks are involved so that was out of the question,” Wooyoung whispers, leaning in close to speak into the shell of Hongjoong’s ear. “Please don’t be too mad at us. I know it’s your birthday, and we should’ve asked to make sure about this beforehand, but we knew you would probably say no because you were dead set on him hating you. Besides, he’s the one who reached out to me and asked if there was anything he could do. Found me through Instagram and saw all the pictures we’ve got together, so he messaged me and asked after you. He… Hongjoong, he won’t shut up about how much he’s worried about you. I thought I was bad with San, but damn, this man has me beat.”

San has Yunho distracted enough to where the man doesn’t notice that he and Wooyoung have come in yet, so Hongjoong takes the opportunity to reel on the man by his side and punch him in the arm. Wooyoung winces and releases an all too loud scream that betrays their presence in the house.

“Ow, you bitch!”

“Yep, there they are!” San chirps, dimples flashing in Yunho’s direction, and the man finally turns to face the door. Hongjoong is fully prepared for hell to break loose when their gazes meet. There’s nothing he can do to prepare himself for it except hold onto his breath like it’s a lifeline and wait for Yunho to spew angry words and hatred his way. It never comes. Wooyoung slips away from his side, moving to join San at the other end of the entryway, and Yunho walks forward to replace his presence.

“Um, happy birthday,” Yunho says, tone so quiet that Hongjoong almost doesn’t pick up a single word. The taller man looks nervous beyond belief, and his gaze flits away from Hongjoong’s after a single second of eye contact, slipping down to the floor instead.

“Who’s watching Akemi?” He asks without a breath of hesitation. Yunho huffs out a small laugh.

“My parents. They flew in yesterday to visit us, so I figured I could escape for at least part of the night.”

Who knows when the last time Yunho got to see his parents was yet he still decided to come to a stranger’s house for Hongjoong? Even after what Hongjoong said to him?

“You… I-I – why did you come?”

“I selfishly wanted to see you on your birthday?”

“But what I said to you and – and how I treated you… I don’t understand.”

Yunho presses his lips into a smile.

“Don’t understand what? Why I’m here? I’d hoped the gesture would be enough to convey my feelings.”

“You,” Hongjoong exhales, but that’s all he can get out.

“I hope you won’t be too mad that I brought you a gift.”

“Just you being here is enough.” Hongjoong huffs out a laugh as the corners of his eyes begin to burn with unshed tears. Shaky hands find Yunho’s collar and twist around his shoulders until Hongjoong can properly pull him into a hug. Yunho drapes his arms around Hongjoong’s waist without a drop of hesitation, pulling the shorter man in until all their senses are full of each other. “Everything about you is enough, Yunho.”

Yunho drops his face into the crook of Hongjoong’s neck, and the younger is almost definitely crying now, tears wetting Hongjoong’s skin as he clings to the man tighter.

“I’m so sorry for making you feel like you aren’t enough,” Hongjoong murmurs against the shell of the man’s ear. He runs a hand through Yunho’s hair, scraping blunt painted nails over his scalp with no particular rhythm. “Y-You’re so much more — so much more than enough.”

“Why are you making me cry on your birthday?” Yunho laughs, words reverberating against his skin, and the butterflies in Hongjoong’s stomach flutter dangerously.

“Why are you crying on my birthday?”

“Aside from Akemi, you’re one of the only good things I have in my life. I was scared I was going to lose you by being careless. I don’t – I don’t want to be careless with you, Hongjoong. I wanted to follow you out that door but couldn’t bring myself to.”

I want you. I like you. I need you. I love you. Hongjoong is thinking of all the things he could say, and the confidence is there, the willpower to say them is boiling over in his gut. San and Wooyoung watch from the edge of the living room with bitten-back smiles and a knowing gleam to their eyes. Even if they can’t hear the conversation, Hongjoong doesn’t doubt that they’ve stood in the same position and whispered confessions and promises and apologies to each other like this too. Instead of those confessions, Hongjoong mutters something else.

“I don’t want you to be nothing.”

“I spent too long hoping you would say that.” Yunho pulls his head up from Hongjoong’s neck and furiously blinks his tears away as he looks the shorter man in the eye.

“What else did you hope I would say?”

“I couldn’t bring myself to ask for anything more than that.”

Hongjoong presses a hand to Yunho’s cheek, collecting the tears staining his skin and pushing them away with the pads of his thumb.

“You’re going to be the death of me.”

“I hope not. I’d like to keep you around for as long as possible.”

It’s not a confession for either of them. They aren’t admitting to anything special or telling each other how they feel or if they even feel the same way about each other. Maybe there are romantic emotions behind the words or maybe not; Hongjoong doesn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth and call anything too early. For now, he’s content with this. This admission of needing each other and wanting to be around each other. And when Hongjoong is ready, he will dissolve the line of friendship that he drew in the sand and be honest about how he feels. This is already more than he could have hoped for given what he said and how vehemently he tried to destroy their relationship.

“Um, as cute as you guys are, can you hurry it up so we can open presents?” Wooyoung croons from the other side of the room, and Hongjoong holds back the urge to roll his eyes. “And Yunho is not a present so please for the sake of my innocence don’t do anything explicit opening up over there!”

“You whore!” Hongjoong scoffs, glancing around Yunho’s shoulder to scowl at his friend. Wooyoung simply beams back at him before making a crude gesture with his hand and giving him a thumbs up. Still, they both heed his words and untangle their arms from each other to follow the other two further into the living room while Wooyoung prattles on about the new furniture he’s planning on getting for the house to a mildly interested Yunho. San stops beside Hongjoong, careening an elbow into his side and flashing his dimples. “Was this your idea?”

“Maybe? You should be glad I didn’t decide to lock the two of you in a room so you could talk shit through.” San clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Progress is progress, I suppose, so I can’t be too mad at the fact that you two literally look at each other with hearts in your eyes yet still refuse to confess.”

“Yeah, well, took you eight months to grow the balls to ask Wooyoung out.”

“Part of that was your fault. He’s your best friend before he’s my boyfriend, and I thought you would kill me if I so much as looked at him the wrong way.”

“Still might,” Hongjoong grumbles before joining the aforementioned man on the couch. Wooyoung scrambles to the side just before he sits down, making space between him and Yunho for Hongjoong to sit.

“Okay, me first, me first!” Wooyoung insists as he passes an all too large package Hongjoong’s way with his trademark toothy smile. Hongjoong least favorite part about birthdays is the awkwardness that comes with opening presents because he is the type who needs to give in return for receiving something. And if he’s being honest, he is most nervous about whatever Yunho brought him, but he tries to distract himself with Wooyoung and San’s gifts first.

Wooyoung gets him a new jean jacket along with a set of paints that Hongjoong had been eyeing for a while, adding that he got himself a jacket as well so that they could reform the clothes together as a friend project. Hongjoong pokes fun at him for the action and accuses him of only getting Hongjoong something because Wooyoung wanted it for himself at first. Wooyoung plays along with a scrunched nose, faking offense to mess with Hongjoong some more before San interrupts to pass another gift his way. Hongjoong unwraps a new pair of shoes from the man who insists they’ll add at least two inches to Hongjoong’s height just from the insoles, and he nearly earns a boot in the face for that comment but Hongjoong holds back only because Yunho is present.

And speaking of Yunho, that’s how Hongjoong finds himself suddenly looking him in the eye as the man extends a delicately wrapped box with a small blue bow on top of it.

“I wasn’t too sure what to get you but… I hope you’ll like it,” Yunho says just before biting his lip so hard that it hurts to look at. Hongjoong exhales a nervous laugh, fingers nearly shaking as he pulls the wrapping paper away and reveals the box underneath. He knows from experience that it must be jewelry of some sort, but even thinking about it can’t prepare him for what’s inside.

“Y-Yunho,” he stammers, eyes flitting between the gift and the man’s face in absolute disbelief. It’s something small and delicate, a thing that might be insignificant upon first glance or to anyone other than Yunho and Hongjoong themselves, but Hongjoong knows the second he sees it how special and precious the thought behind it is.

“Her mother used to call her that.”

“He would show me the pretty butterflies he painted and would read me a poem to help me fall asleep.”

“Okay, one little butterfly safely put back to bed without any issue.”

On a small bed of white foam there sits a little blue butterfly. It’s attached to a silver chain at the tip of one of the wings, tilted at a slight angle in the box, and Hongjoong tilts his head to match it as he stares down.

“We should get the drinks,” San cuts in, shaking Hongjoong out of his stunned reverie.

“Okay, babe. Have fun with that!”

“No, we, Wooyoung, we should get the drinks.”

“Huh? Why we? Oh! Oh. Oh my god, yes, we should definitely get the drinks. Excuse us for a second, we’ll be right back!” Wooyoung bolts from his spot on the couch, followed quickly by San, and all of a sudden, it’s just Hongjoong and Yunho sitting in the living room. Endless amounts of empty space around them yet only mere centimeters separating their thighs from touching.

“A butterfly,” Hongjoong whispers at last, and he finally dares to look back up at Yunho. Yunho doesn’t look back at him though; he has his head hung a bit, fingers awkwardly and nervously clasped around something on his neck. Hongjoong waits as patiently as he can for the man to react in some way, and once again his heart threatens to stop in his chest. Yunho unfolds his fingers to reveal an identical silver chain with a blue butterfly pendant placed in the exact same position as the one Hongjoong holds in his hand.

“It’s a, um, it’s a custom piece. The one I have, I mean. I got it shortly after Akemi’s mother and I officially split and she moved out. I contacted the jeweler who made it for me and asked if he could make another and he said absolutely, so… yeah.” Custom piece. Identical. Hongjoong might pass out actually. Yunho continues after a quick lick of his lips. “You’ve always — you always act like a father to Akemi even though no one expects you to or demands that of you. You do it willingly and happily, and I never thought I would meet a person like you in a million years. I don’t know how to show my gratitude for that but I thought that out of everyone in my life, you deserve this the most.”

A key to Yunho’s heart, his pride and joy, and an invitation. To what exactly, Hongjoong doesn’t think he could figure that out right now, but he indulges in himself a bit, turning around on the couch so his back is now to Yunho. With a quick flick of his wrist, he extends the box with the necklace behind him, giving Yunho a silent plea to put the necklace on for him. Yunho takes it in stride and pulls the box from Hongjoong’s hand. Their fingers brush for half a second, but both chase the feeling for another half-second before Yunho dips his chin with a chuckle.

The metal of the chain and pendant is cold against his skin, slipping over his neck and under the collar of his shirt before he can stop it. Hongjoong reaches up to touch the jewelry if only to confirm that it’s real, this is real, Yunho is real.

Yunho does his best not to touch the back of Hongjoong’s neck, and the older of the two is glad for it because he isn’t sure if his heart can handle much more of this.

“There,” Yunho whispers once the clasp sits attached on Hongjoong’s skin.

“Thank you,” Hongjoong says as he turns to face Yunho once more. His hand still sits atop the pendant, and he isn’t sure he could move it if he wanted to with how touched he is by the gesture of the necklace.

“You don’t need to thank me.”

A breath of silence. Hongjoong feels like Yunho is the only person in the universe at that moment, the only other human being who knows him and understands him in ways even Hongjoong doesn’t himself.

“I want to.”

“Then I suppose I can’t stop you if it’s what you want.” Yunho’s eyes are twinkling under the fluorescent lights above them, little gems that shine with so much emotion that Hongjoong is overwhelmed just from the sight of it.

“I was engaged,” Hongjoong blurts. He isn’t sure what comes over him or possesses him to say such a thing, and as soon as he processes what he’s said, he flings a hand up to cover his mouth. Yunho blinks back in equal parts shock and confusion. “I – hold on, I m-meant, uh, let me start over.” Hongjoong is begging Wooyoung and San to come back and save him from this awkwardness, but apparently, his mouth has a mind of its own because he just keeps speaking instead. “My last relationship – the one I kinda told you about – we were together for three years then he proposed to me. We were engaged for seven months and planned the wedding and honeymoon and everything. There weren’t… any problems between us, at least I didn’t see any signs of there being something wrong. A few days before the wedding, he c-called it off and said he didn’t want to marry me.”

“Wh–Why?” Yunho exhales, and the one word quivers on his tongue.

“He… found someone else he wanted to be with more. Made more money than me, taller than me, better looking no doubt – just everything he wanted and more. He didn’t even cheat on me b-but I selfishly wished he had just so that I could justify how I felt. I wanted to hate him but couldn’t even do that because he was open and h-honest and kind even then. I get scared with you because you’re so – so kind. So giving, and I get scared that I won’t be good enough in the long run.” Scared that it will happen again. That’s what Hongjoong wishes he could say, but he doesn’t need to because Yunho understands nonetheless.

Large hands cup his jaw, and Hongjoong is forced to look up at the man across from him.

“Anyone – and I truly mean anyone, Hongjoong – would be lucky to call you theirs for eternity. I hate that someone took that away from you and made you feel like you’re less than perfect.” Yunho is pulling him closer. He is sinking into Yunho’s touch, long fingers guiding him forward with endless gentleness, and Hongjoong secures a hand by Yunho’s side as he gets closer. Their noses brush, a smile twitches at Yunho’s lips, and Hongjoong is about to risk it all for this man.

“I’m not drunk this time,” Hongjoong murmurs, hot breath cascading over Yunho’s mouth.

“You’re not.”

“So kiss m—”

“Got drinks!”

Hongjoong has never scrambled to get away from a person faster in his life, and he’s pretty sure he nearly faceplants atop the glass coffee table in his rush to separate himself from Yunho.

Fuck Jung Wooyoung.

“Oh s-shit, uh, hold on, we’ll go back into the kitchen for a second! Continue!” Hongjoong hears angry whispers, followed by a loud smack and a noise of indignation coming from San as the pair rush to get back into the kitchen. Hongjoong’s cheeks burn with embarrassment. The mood has most definitely been killed thanks to Wooyoung’s interruption, and when Hongjoong glances over to gauge Yunho’s reaction, he finds a pretty blush splayed over the man’s cheeks.

It shouldn’t change anything. Friends have their moments like this, right? Friends get each other gifts and such, and maybe sometimes they nearly kiss in moments of clouded judgment. Yunho’s expression is one that Hongjoong can’t read. It’s only after he’s been staring at the younger man for well over a minute that Yunho meets his gaze and offers a shaky smile.

It shouldn’t change anything, so why does it feel like the ground under Hongjoong has been shifted in ways that he both can’t explain or reverse? The slippery slope just keeps sending him down.

…

There is an unspoken shift between the two of them from the night onwards. Nothing else significant happened that night; Yunho stayed to eat with them and drink a bit before saying that it was time for him to get back to Akemi. Hongjoong walked him to the door, put a hand on his arm, and thanked him one more time. They stared at each other’s lips for far too long, then Wooyoung started screaming about how San spilled beer on the couch cushions, and Hongjoong let Yunho go without asking for anything else from the man.

Their dinners resume as well, and Hongjoong is more grateful for that than he’d like to admit because admitting it would mean acknowledging how intense his feelings for the man are. They don’t talk about the near kisses or lingering touches either, but that’s alright by Hongjoong’s standards. He’ll take the peace and pining while it lasts because that’s the best way for him to avoid pain in the long run. He does make certain not to drink enough to get drunk like he did that one night. Things don’t change beyond that, that is until one day in mid-December when Hongjoong is back to visit for dinner but it’s quite different this time.

First, it’s a Saturday rather than their usual Fridays. Hongjoong couldn’t make it the day before because he promised that he would go visit Seonghwa and Yeosang in the new house they bought recently.

Second, Akemi isn’t present. According to Yunho, she’s off staying the night at a friend’s house for a birthday sleepover, so for the first time ever, Hongjoong is alone with Yunho in the house. He tries to insist that this won’t make anything different between them. It’s just their typical dinner after all, even if Akemi isn’t with them.

“What are your plans for Christmas?” Yunho asks midway through a bite of chicken. To be frank, Hongjoong completely forgot about the holiday. It’s never something huge or drastically special to him, so he pushed the thought of it to the back of his mind, but he should probably start debating what he’s going to be doing since it’s less than a week away now.

“Uh, I’m not sure. I won’t be going home, I know that much. Tickets are too expensive, and it isn’t worth the hassle to go. What about you?”

“I haven’t had time to think about it. Work is always busiest this time of year, but I’ll get some time off starting next week.”

“Not going home?” Hongjoong inquires, glancing over at the man.

“No, not this year. Parents are going to France for a trip so there won’t be anyone to go home to.”

“It’ll just be you and Akemi then?”

“Yup, first time too.”

Hongjoong has an idea. A bad one, but an idea nonetheless.

“If you – I, um, it will be a bit cramped, but you two could come to my place for Christmas?” He sounds too hopeful, and he probably looks a bit desperate with his lower lip caught between his teeth. Yunho cocks his head to the side. The silence that ensues feels like a ton of bricks sitting atop Hongjoong’s chest, and he’s about to backtrack and call the idea stupid when Yunho finally speaks.

“I was going to ask the same of you actually.”

“Oh. Oh! Yeah, y-yeah, uh—”

“Do you want to come over for Christmas, Hongjoong?” Yunho interjects. His gaze pierces the side of Hongjoong’s head, and the older man is certain that he forgets how to breathe for a second.

“I would love that,” he exhales quietly. Yunho hums through another bite of food and continues to finish his meal without mentioning it again, but the smile that lingers on his lips for the rest of dinner has Hongjoong’s heart doing cartwheels and frontflips for too long. They clean the dishes side by side for once. Without one of them needing to tuck Akemi in for the night, they can get the dishes done a lot faster than usual. Still, Hongjoong cannot shake the feeling that something they’re both unaware of is about to happen. Nothing about Yunho’s behavior is different tonight. Hongjoong thinks he’s acting normally himself as well.

So why? Why does this feel so different?

Yunho puts on a movie for the two of them to watch while Hongjoong finishes his one (and only) glass of wine. He might need more than that though because as much as he tries, he cannot tear his eyes away from the man on the other side of the couch. Yunho is far too attractive for his own good, legs splayed wide open and thighs on full display with one hand pressed to his right thigh and the other draped over the back of the couch.

“Are you cold?” Yunho asks after about half an hour of Hongjoong’s wandering eyes and lack of focus on the movie.

“H-Huh?” Hongjoong stammers.

“You keep curling up further and further in that corner of the couch.”

“Oh, I’m – I’m fine. I need to run to the bathroom actually.” Hongjoong bolts up before Yunho can reply, darting away from the living room in his sudden bout of panic. He doesn’t need to go to the bathroom, and Yunho probably knows that; all he needs to do is lecture his reflection in the mirror and tell himself to pull it together. He also wants to plaster the words ‘I’m desperately in love with you’ across his forehead just so that he doesn’t have to confess to Yunho himself.

No, Hongjoong, bad idea.

All Hongjoong does is splash some water across his face before returning to the living room. Yunho has shifted a bit and now has a blanket draped over his legs. When he catches sight of Hongjoong, he offers a grin and pulls the blanket up a tad.

“Just admit you’re cold and get under the blanket with me.”

“Okay,” Hongjoong squeaks out, trying to hide his flushing cheeks from view as he slips under the blanket. The space between their bodies is absolutely minimal now. Hongjoong tries to keep himself as far from Yunho’s body as possible, but he was truly cold and the warmth the blanket provides is really nice. Between the blanket, Yunho, and the soft volume of the television playing in the background, he can’t help but to become more drowsy with each passing second. Yunho’s arm is still on the back of the couch, nearly around Hongjoong’s shoulders, and if he’s honest, Hongjoong is only thinking about that and nothing else.

“For Christmas, do you want me to bring anything?” He asks after a while in a desperate attempt to stay awake. Yunho hums a little, head tilting side to side.

“I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. We can talk about that later on though.” Yunho sounds tired as well, and Hongjoong can’t tell whether that’s a good thing or not. On one hand, if they’re both so tired, it wouldn’t be as awkward to fall asleep like this, but on the other, it would be too intimate given Hongjoong’s feelings for him. “Do you want me to put up any specific decorations?”

“Hm? I don’t have a preference. It’s your home, you can choose whatever you like,” Hongjoong murmurs back, daring to let his head fall closer to Yunho’s shoulder.

“Can I put up mistletoe then?”

“Wh-What?” That caught Hongjoong’s attention. And woke him up quite a bit too.

“I think you’d look cute under it,” Yunho whispers through a smile, leaning in to speak the words closer to Hongjoong’s mouth. “And it would give me an excuse to kiss you.”

What. What? Passing out seems like a good idea all of a sudden.

“Do you need an excuse?”

“Depends.” Yunho shrugs. The hand resting on the back of the couch falls forward, brushing Hongjoong’s shoulder before coming up to toy with a few strands of his hair.

“What if… what if I ask you to?” Hongjoong wets his lips then drags his teeth over his bottom lip. He doesn’t intend to be so seductive in the action; it’s merely a nervous habit he has, but Yunho watching his mouth move so intently that Hongjoong might melt.

“Are you asking me to?”

“No,” Hongjoong exhales. That catches Yunho a bit off-guard, eyes blinking furiously like he’s misunderstood Hongjoong’s advances and actions this whole time, but the older rushes to finish his thought. “I’m not asking. I’m telling you to kiss me already, Yunho. I’ve waited long enough, no?”

Yunho inhales so sharply that air whistles through his teeth. His eyes search Hongjoong’s features for something else, maybe a sign that he doesn’t mean what he’s saying, but all Hongjoong wears is pure determination and pent-up frustration at taking this long to kiss the man. Yunho curls his fingers in Hongjoong’s hair, gripping it like a vice but not hard enough to cause any pain.

“I didn’t expect you to be the demanding type, Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong arches a brow at that and curls his lips enough to be taunting. Apparently, that turns out to be Yunho’s limit because the man finally dips in to close the distance between their mouths. He pulls at Hongjoong’s hair a little harder to get better access to his mouth. Hongjoong is positively floating with even the smallest pressure of the kiss, but when Yunho’s lips slot against his and deepen the pressure, he thinks that there’s no way this is reality. He’s ascended to the last level of heaven and is on his way to paradise, that’s the only explanation for this.

Hongjoong doesn’t remember moving at all but suddenly he’s pushing his way out from under the blanket and straddling Yunho’s hips without missing a beat. Their lips are still connected, thin trails of spit between them that only increase in volume when Hongjoong gets bold enough to swipe his tongue over the younger man’s lip. Yunho uses his free hand to yank the blanket out from between their bodies, letting Hongjoong press closer to his chest in a heated fervor. He can’t seem to move fast enough, nipping at Yunho’s lip until the man gasps. His tongue slips in next and fills the empty space in Yunho’s mouth to clash with the man’s tongue in a show of dominance. He doesn’t get to maintain that dominance for long as it turns out because Yunho gives a sharp tug to Hongjoong’s hair, and it sends a jolt through his body so intense that he forgets where he is and what he’s doing for a split second.

Yunho takes the opportunity to push back against Hongjoong’s tongue and shove his way into the smaller man’s mouth, and fuck, if that’s not the hottest thing he’s ever done, Hongjoong doesn’t know what could possibly top that. Until Yunho slips both hands down his back to secure at his hips with a grip that’s almost bruising in force, that is. That sends Hongjoong to a different plane of existence, but he doesn’t even want to come down from there if it means kissing Yunho like this. Or maybe just kissing him in general. He hasn’t decided.

Yunho decides it’s time to breathe, unfortunately, and Hongjoong has to pull away with no shortage of internal whining because goddammit lungs, hold a bit more air so he can kiss Yunho some more.

“That was nice,” Hongjoong exhales, still staring at the soft glisten of spit on Yunho’s lips. “Can we—”

“I like you, Hongjoong.”

“Y-You what?”

“I like you. In ways I can’t explain and in ways that words can’t describe. Just saying it wouldn’t do my feelings justice, and I-I thought… I hoped to make it clear on your birthday. When you asked me why I came and I said I hoped the gesture would convey my feelings – I should have said it then. I like you, every inch of you, every part of you inside and out, maybe so much so that it’s love.”

Hongjoong huffs out a breath of disbelief, jaw unable to close in his state of shock, and all he can do is bring a trembling hand to where Yunho’s heart lies behind the confines of his chest. Yunho gnaws at his lip. The corners of his mouth turn upward.

Then there's the two of us. This word is far too short for us, it has only four letters, too sparse to fill those deep bare vacuums between the stars that press on us with their deafness.

“I-I’ve liked you for s-so long,” Hongjoong whispers once the initial surprise passes. “I didn’t – I tried talking myself out of it and convincing myself that there was no way you could ever feel the same.”

It's not love we don't wish to fall into, but that fear.

“How could I not when it’s you?” Yunho is holding his cheek now, thumb caressing his face like Hongjoong is a piece of glass in his hands. “You’re… everything I could ever have asked for in a person. Everything and more. I wish I could put it into words – how you make me feel – but the best I can do is say I think I love you.”

This word is not enough but it will have to do.

“I think I love you too.” It scares Hongjoong to admit that out loud; it’s something he could never even let himself say in his thoughts, but Yunho pulls the words from his lips with no effort at all. Like he’s meant to say it.

It's a single vowel in this metallic silence, a mouth that says ‘oh’ again and again in wonder and pain.

His chest burns a little from the heat of all the emotions running through his body. Yunho pulls him closer, one hand still wrapped around Hongjoong’s delicate waist with the other dragging soft patterns over his cheek. They have been this close for so long. They’ve worked in this standstill where they are together but apart, close but far away, and now all that’s left to do is increase the distance or close it forever.

A breath.

It is Hongjoong’s turn to inhale as Yunho sighs over his still-swollen lips.

A finger grip on a cliffside.

The way Yunho’s eyes rake over his face is intimate in a way Hongjoong can’t describe. Yunho almost speaks through only that gaze, like he’s telling – no, asking, pleading, begging Hongjoong to hold onto him and not let go.

You can hold on or let go.

Hongjoong, at last, has decided that he wants to hold on, even if the past has scarred him and the future scares him.

…

Hongjoong arrives outside Yunho’s door on Christmas day with a knot in his stomach that won’t go away. It’s not a bad sort of knot – at least he thinks it isn’t – but it is one that leaves him a bit nervous. The butterfly necklace Yunho gifted him still sits around his neck, not taken off once since Yunho gifted it to him, and the bag of gifts in his hands feels heavier than usual. He and Yunho have spoken since that night, but Hongjoong hasn’t come over again nor have they discussed what the events of that night entail for them moving forward. It would taste a lie on his lips if Hongjoong tried to say that he hasn’t been thinking about kissing Yunho every day since.

“Mr. Hong! You’re here! Mr. Hong is here, Daddy!” The door swings open to reveal Akemi, all dolled up in a precious little plaid dress with small butterfly clips in her hair, and Hongjoong’s nerves melt away at the sight of her bright smile. Then Yunho steps into view, much less dolled up and more looking like he just rolled out of bed five minutes ago, but Hongjoong can’t say that he doesn’t look damn good as it is. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he thinks about the possibility of waking up to a Yunho with bedhead and flushed cheeks.

“Can you take the gifts in for him, Mimi?” Yunho asks, running a hand through Akemi’s hair. She beams back at him and takes the bag in Hongjoong’s hands away without complaint, which leaves Hongjoong suddenly very empty-handed and alone before Yunho. “Hi friend.”

Friend? Hongjoong cocks his head to the side.

“That’s what you said the first time I tried to kiss you,” Yunho explains upon seeing Hongjoong’s confusion.

“Hi friend,” Hongjoong replies through a stretched grin. The sight of Yunho before him is making him feel a bit bold, maybe too reckless, but he rolls with it and stretches up on his tiptoes to place a small kiss on the corner of Yunho’s mouth. “Merry Christmas.”

“We’re not even under the mistletoe yet.”

Hongjoong squints and looks off to the side, pretending to think the words through, then breaks into a broad smile.

“Need an excuse to kiss me then?”

“Never,” Yunho murmurs before dipping in to give Hongjoong a proper kiss on the lips, and it’s everything he could have wanted and more. Everything about Yunho feels safe and warm, like something Hongjoong never wants to let go of, and thankfully Yunho seems to think the same of him as his lips chase after Hongjoong’s when the shorter man pulls away.

“Daddy! Mr. Hong will get cold if you don’t let him in!”

“Yeah, Yunho! Do you want me to get all cold out here?” Hongjoong teases, stepping around Yunho to properly greet Akemi inside.

“I had to wake Daddy up because he was trying to sleep in this morning,” the little girl explains when Hongjoong squats down to be eye level with her.

“Did you? Shame on him! He should know to be up early for Christmas morning!”

“He should! He said he stayed up late, so I think he was trying to spy on Santa.”

“Spy on Santa? My goodness, Yunho, you are causing trouble left and right.”

“Yes, well, Santa and I had to meet up during the night. I had to ask him for one more gift.”

“He didn’t leave any other gifts on the fireplace though, Daddy!” Akemi protests, motioning to the hearth behind her. Yunho blinks at the spot for a moment then turns to look down at Hongjoong with a smile.

“He brought my gift to the door this morning it seems.”

Hongjoong releases a scoff to hide his embarrassment and reaches over to swat at Yunho’s stupidly long legs.

“You’re disgusting!”

“Yeah, Daddy! Ew! Don’t say icky things!” Akemi scrunches up her nose and feigns disgust although Hongjoong isn’t sure she can even understand what Yunho means by his comment, so she might just be playing along with Hongjoong’s show of disgust. Yunho shakes his head a little but relents in his grossly cheesy comments to say something else.

“Mimi, honey, can you run upstairs for a moment? Daddy wants to talk to Mr. Hong in private for a little bit, then when we’re done, we can open up all the presents!”

“Okay, Daddy! Can I play with my dolls while I wait?”

“Of course, baby, go ahead. Run, run! We won’t be long, I promise!” Yunho shoos the little girl off, watching her bound up the stairs with nothing but fondness in his eyes, and he continues to stare after her even after Hongjoong pushes himself to his feet.

“Talk in private?” Hongjoong asks.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I was going to wait until after gifts and such but… you decided to kiss me right off the bat, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus after that.”

“Are you saying that I’m distracting, Mr. Jeong?”

“In more ways than one, absolutely.” Yunho draws his lips into a tight purse then presses them into a thin line in the same motion. “What do you want us to be, Hongjoong?”

That’s… not the question Hongjoong was expecting.

“I’m content with it being up to you,” he whispers in response.

“If – so if I asked for us to be exclusive, what would you say?” Hongjoong’s heart leaps in his chest.

“Say the word and I’m yours, Yunho.”

“Well, you can’t say things like that. I’ll lose all my inhibitions before noon,” Yunho chuckles, dipping his head to his chest. Hongjoong takes a step closer to him and closes a bit of the distance between their bodies. He lifts a hand in a sudden bout of confidence and cups Yunho’s cheek.

“I want to be yours and only yours. Even if I’m scared of the future and what it holds, I don’t want to lose what we have or what we could have. So if you would have me, I will gladly be yours for as long as you want me.”

“And if I happen to want you forever?”

“Then you’re stuck with me,” Hongjoong murmurs. The undisclosed promises in those words sting a bit, memories of the past threatening to resurface until Yunho chases them away with his next words.

“Do you – do you want me as well?”

“I want you,” he whispers while the confidence still lasts. He delivers a quick kiss to the tip of Yunho’s nose. “I like you—” another to his right cheek “—I need you—” one where his thumb ends and Yunho’s skin begins “—and I’m madly in love with you, Jeong Yunho.”

It’s good that Hongjoong has nothing else to say because Yunho cuts off his air, lips smashing hard against his with an almost bruising force, and Hongjoong could almost cry because of all the emotions built up in his chest. He scrambles to wrap his arms around Yunho’s neck as the other man deepens the kiss. His back curls hard to press himself fully against Yunho. There’s a certain kind of desperation in his body, one that just makes him want to pull Yunho closer and kiss him for hours on end. Even if it’s not their first kiss or their last, Hongjoong cherishes it nonetheless. They only pull apart when every ounce of air has left their bodies and they’re on the verge of blacking out. Yunho gasps for air, huffing in deep breaths stolen from Hongjoong’s exhales, and it’s too close, too intimate, too everything. Hongjoong doesn’t want it to stop even for a second.

“Good because I’m in love with you too, Hongjoong. And I plan to continue loving you for as long as I can.”

He would like to think that there are unspoken promises in those words as well, ones that only the two of them know, but for now, Hongjoong will live in this moment as long as he can without thinking about the past or the future. He has Yunho now, and that's enough for him.

a/n: hi wow yes you made it to the end of this fic!! this is officially the longest standalone fic i’ve ever written and god it’s long as hell and took the life out of me but i absolutely adore this fic and am very proud of it and myself for finishing it! i hope you all enjoy as much as i do :c

#kpopscape #kdiarynet #kwritersworldnet #ateez fluff #ateez angst #yunho x hongjoong #hongjoong x yunho #ateez oneshot #ateez ff #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #hongjoong angst #hongjoong fluff #yunho angst #yunho fluff #yunho oneshot #hongjoong oneshot

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there-must-be-a-lock · 3 years

Text

MCU ships & gen

A Muscle The Size Of Your Fist: Bucky x Clint. The 2000s punk band AU! In which Clint listens to a lot of mix CDs, dyes his hair, adopts a dog, and finds his people. ~99k, explicit.

Marshmallow Crime Lords series: DCU x Marvel. In which Jason Todd, Bucky Barnes, and Clint Barton reform the Gotham underworld while being secret cinnamon rolls. Roughly 95% Batfam nonsense, identity porn, borderline crack, and domestic fluff; 5% plot. WIP.

If It’s A Highway: Jason Todd (DCU) x Bucky. A Red Hood: Lost Days/post-CA:TWS fusion. WIP, explicit.

Decaf and Health: Bucky x Clint. In which they go for a hike and everything goes wrong. 2680 words, PG-13.

7 Times Clint's Christmas Did Not Go According To Plan (+1 Time It Did): Bucky x Clint with a side of found family feels/friendship. What it says on the tin. Post-Endgame everybody-lived fluff. 4860 words, PG-13.

A Kind Of Blind Love: Bucky x Clint. In which words are hard and so is Clint. 2339 words, mature.

Sweet Home Was Home: Bucky x Clint. In which they try to let go of the past and start thinking about the future. They also celebrate the holidays, juggle knives, assemble furniture, see a musical, adopt a few strays, and rescue each other repeatedly. ~109,800 words, explicit.

Paper Thin Walls: Bucky x Clint. AU in which Clint has pierced nipples, Bucky has a thirst, and their showers share a wall. ~8690, explicit. And two follow-ups: Watching Me Watch Them (1225 words) and Shake Me Down (1667 words), both explicit.

The List: Bucky x Clint. In which Bucky’s therapist assigns him some homework. 1445 words, PG-13.

Mercury Switch: Bucky x Matt Murdock. In which the Winter Soldier runs to Hell’s Kitchen instead of Bucharest, and Matt maybe has a thing for danger. 1220, mature.

Five Times Bucky & Clint Might’ve Been Flirting (Plus One Time They Definitely Weren’t): Bucky x Clint. What it says on the tin! 3371 words, PG-13.

Days That Used To Last A Lifetime: Bucky x Clint. In which the universe keeps trying to push them together, except the universe is drunk and its aim is off. ~9.6k, explicit.

Baby (Give Me Bruises): Bucky x Clint. In which Clint really needs a fight. 7566 words, explicit.

Raining Men: Bucky x Clint. In which Clint is a fairy. 1125 words, PG.

Great At Boats: Clint x Darcy. In which Clint is (you guessed it!) great at boats. 1171 words, explicit.

One Star Shining: Bucky x Clint. Childhood friends finding each other again, a decade later. ~2100 words, PG-13.

Knife’s Edge: Kate x Yelena. Soft hammock kissing, and also knives. 482 words, mature.

Apologies: Bucky x Sam. Enemies to lovers, I guess? 938 words, mature.

Kick It Like A Ninja: Bucky x Clint x Matt Murdock. In which date night is interrupted. 1030 words, mature.

Found Out: Bucky x Clint (x Bucky x Clint). Time travel doppelganger shenanigans. 980 words, explicit.

Something Sweet: Bucky x Yelena. In which Bucky crosses a line. 796 words, mature.

And I Miss You When You’re Around: Bucky x Natasha. Non-sexual submission and Bucky recovering. 830 words, PG-13.

Surprises: Bucky x Frank Castle. Bizarrely soft, for what it is. 373 words, explicit.

We Stole The Fire: Bucky x Clint. Winter Soldier Clint, and a mission with some unexpected consequences. ~1990 words, mature.

How A Resurrection Really Feels: Gen. Bucky recovering, on Easter. 680 words, mature.

One Thing At A Time: SPN/MCU, Dean Winchester x Bucky Barnes. Dean’s first time with a guy. 311 words, mature.

Complimentary: Bucky x Jessica Jones. Snarky aggressive super-strength smut. 240 words, explicit.

Sunshine: Bucky x Clint. Farmer!Bucky fluff to go along with some art! ~880 words, PG-13.

Merely Players: Bucky x Clint, Natasha x Matt Murdock, and Steve x Tony. Silly community theater AU. ~1700 words, PG, to be continued.

…And A Little Bit Mean: Bucky x Clint. Animal shelter meet-cute and awkward flirting. 1060 words, rated PG.

The Amazing Hawkeye: Bucky x Clint. Tropetastic idiots-in-love silliness feat. Natasha. 630 words, PG-13.

Seasons Change: Steve x Bucky. Reunion sex in a stolen HYDRA tank. 1110 words, mature.

Reveille: Natasha x Steve. Lazy morning sex. 436 words, explicit.

Not That Kind Of Movie: Steve x Bucky. One failed romantic getaway, some Steve self-pity, lots of Bucky sass, lots of banter, and plenty of fluff. 2590 words, PG-13.

The Modern Superhero’s Guide to Self-Love: Natasha + alone time. 539 words, PG-13.

Soft: Natasha x Wanda. What it says on the tin. 338 words, mature.

Back to the main masterlist here!

#masterlist #shit i wrote #mcu fic

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lidoshka · 3 years

Note

I follow you on Deviant Art and I discovered my favorite Voltron fanfictions thanks to your fanarts. How did you find them? I loved, among the others, "Where the light doesn’t reach", "Eternal Night", Discordiansamba's ones and "Desideratum": do you have more suggestions? We could do an exchange of fanfiction reviews if you want. I like long, well-written stories with Keith as a main character, space worldbuilding and deep emotions. With the Galra Keith trope also.

You started reading Voltron fics because of me? Really?! That’s really cool!

ヾ|*ﾟ∀ﾟ*|ﾉ

Ahh! Yeah, I totally agree, we need more fanfic recs… in the last few months I’ve been doing art for other fandoms, so I haven’t checked new fics, but I do have some I like here so I’ll start!

Now, I don’t think any of these fics is longer than Eternal Night, but they are still cool, I also added some info of what I remember from each fic:

cobbled glass by ShirosRedKnight (SweetFanfics) One of the first things Keith learns about himself is that he is different. AU where Keith was always part of the Blades of Marmora and the Paladin's of Voltron come looking for the Red Paladin.

[Keith is galra but looks human] [can’t remember any pairing]

It's A New Start Series by Darkscales In which Keith, raised Galra and forcibly drafted into Zarkon's army, escapes from the Empire and proceeds to steal (then subsequently become adopted by) the Red Lion.

[Keith is very galra] [can’t remember any pairing]

your sharp and glorious thorn by arahir

To end the war they inherited, Keith marries the King he lead an army against

[Sheith] [mostly Keith POV] [Keith being galra but still human-looking]

Collision Course by winterysomnium Keith gets adopted by the Galra empire rebellion, basically.

[Keith being galra but still human-looking]

Secret of the Blood by exclamation AU version of season 2. When Keith and Shiro were thrown from the wormhole, they crashed by the Blade of Marmora headquarters and were captured. When the Blade reveal the secret of Keith's heritage, Keith must decide if he can trust these people... and if he can trust himself.

[Keith angst] [can’t remember any pairing] [Keith is galra but looks human]

The Blade of Memory by exclamation (ß same author as previous one!) Kan has no memory of his life before he was found injured and adrift by the Blade of Marmora. When he comes across a slave that seems to be the same species as him, he decides to rescue him. But saving Matt broke a number of the Blade's rules and helping Matt further would mean going against Kolivan's orders.

[Keith angst…ish] [can’t remember any pairing] [Keith is galra but looks human]

hound by story_monger (is there any rec list that doesn’t include this one?? XD) Keith has a lot of practice being alone; you might almost say he's good at it. When he finds himself seriously injured and stranded on an unknown planet, he knows he's not alone there

[Keith angst] [can’t remember any pairing] [Keith POV] [beign galra is not part of plot]

baby, you're a dark star by Thesis When the Lions are separated from the castle, hurled out of the wormhole into distant corners of space, Pidge still finds Allura within an hour. Then Shiro, alone, injured, delirious, asking if they've found Keith yet. They force him into the healing pods and get back to searching. They find Lance, they find Hunk. But they don't find Keith for sixteen months. And now that they have, Shiro is starting to think - maybe he didn't want to be found.

[Sheith] [Keith is galra but looks human]

Insomnia by GriffinRose They reunite after the Wormhole Incident all in one piece. Mostly. But some scars can't be seen. Keith can't sleep, no matter how hard he tries.

[mostly Keith POV] [being galra is not part of plot…or was it?]

nothing can breathe in space by idrilka The truth is: what Keith wants or doesn’t want won’t bring Shiro back. The truth is: nothing can breathe in space. (Or: the story of how Keith and Shiro come together, come apart, and come together again.)

[Sheith] [Keith angst] [being galra is not part of plot…or was it?]

The Heat Was Hot and the Ground Was Dry by justheretobreakthings A glimpse into Keith's year living in a shack in the desert.

[Keith POV] [Keith angst…ish] [has a Spotify list on the last chapter] [can’t remember any pairing]

Small Heart, Made of Steel by inkfishie The fight with Zarkon, the battle with the Galra fleet, the crash; It came back in small measures. Keith finds himself stranded and alone.

[mostly Keith POV] [Keith angst] [survival stuff] [being galra is not part of plot]

For Everything a Reason by flyingisland

In Keith's life, the only true absolute was that everyone would always leave in the end.

[Sheith] [very Keith angst] [Keith POV]

these old bones by achievingelysium

He’s always been fascinated with dinosaurs. Keith isn’t entirely sure why—maybe it’s because their footprints are still here, even after so long. Maybe he’s hearing the echoes of history calling for him. Maybe, just maybe, it’s because he sees himself in those old bones. A Keith character study told in three parts.

[Keith angst…ish] [can’t remember any pairing] [being galra is not part of plot..or was it???]

The Long Way Back by fio As a gladiator, and now Champion, Shiro has given up hope of ever returning to Earth. But when his captors deliver his 'prize'—an omega, a descendant of both Galran and Altean blood used by the Galra to breed with the strongest aliens they capture—he's offered a chance to escape. There's just one catch: Shiro has to get him pregnant to do it. [Sheith] [it’s 40k words] [smut but I can’t remember in which chapter] [Keith is very galra]

The Faeries' Midwife by zjofierose the line between dream and nightmare, between asleep and awake, has always been a hazy one for Keith. Voltron makes it all that much worse.

[short] [Keith angst] [can’t remember any pairing]

Sands and Stars by Neyasochi Keith’s no stranger to shit going sideways, but mistakenly assaulting and robbing a crown prince is definitely the peak misfortune of his considerable criminal career. Suddenly in the custody of the royal guard and slated for a swift and unceremonious execution, he figures his short life is over. Imminently. But then Prince Takashi offers him an alternative.

Part 1 of the Bond and Blade Series

[Sheith] [slow, slow burn] [mostly Keith POV] [Keith is galra but looks human] [It’s medieval!au-ish babe!]

familiar voices and careful hands by bobtheacorn Keith hesitates, then lifts a hand to pat Hunk's arm. It's awkward returning the comforting gesture, but it seems to help Hunk calm down so Keith is glad that he does it. He keeps reaping the rewards of reaching out to the people he cares about, even if small things are the only ones he can manage right now, and he can't help feeling grateful.

[can’t remember any pairing] [team bonding] [keith angst…ish]

i never meant (i only wanted) by ADyingFlower It's a lot farther to Arizona from Washington D.C. than he thought it would be. The sun beats down on his scalp and dark clothes as he travels the roads of national highways, occasionally trying to hitchhike when he could. Not often, though. His soles burn into his feet, but he doesn’t dare stop.

[Keith POV] [Keith angst] [being galra is not part of plot…or was it???]

Well, that’s my fav ones about Keith... I didn’t add any WIPS nor any of Discordiansambas’ cause you know those ones already, but just like you I also like long stories with lots of worldbuilding, angsty stories... I love stories where they explore what being a galra hybrid means to Keith!

#fanfic recs #voltron legendary defender #Keith Kogane #just a smidge more alien

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wayward-persephone · 2 years

Note

i will literally never get tired of your russell content (or any of your content tbh🏃‍♀️)

what about an innocent makeout session w russell with you perched on his lap & you slowly start grinding into him & he becomes a whimpering mess watching you in awe bonus points if he cums in his pants

Thank you so much Nonnie 🥺🥺💙💙

I honestly feel like with him this is mostly how all make out sessions end because he gets so needy for you and it's impossible to say no to him when he's giving you those puppy dog eyes.

He loves kissing you, loves sucking on your tongue and nibbling on your lower lip to draw out all your little noises and to feel you smile against him, and he absolutely adores when you climb on his lap. He would immediately start grinding against you, mumbling apologies about moving too fast even as you pant and spread your legs wider to get him to grind against you just right, and his hands are busy tenderly holding your hips like you're made of fine porcelain.

You keep kissing him and playing with his hair while rolling your hips in a dirty grind. Eventually he keeps breaking the kiss to stare down at his lap, to were your thighs are spread lewdly to get his clothed cock head right against your clit, and his hips are jerking helplessly against yours the longer he watches.

What sends him over the edge is when he looks up at you and you're still staring at him. All glassy eyes and panting as you chase your orgasm and then you feel him tense underneath you and then he's pulsing against you wetly with a sharp gasp. He's whimpering and moaning, burying his face in the crook of your neck as you come, and he holds you tightly as you rock against him to bask in your afterglow.

Afterwards he's peppering any skin he can reach in kisses, making you giggle at the ticklish brush of his beard, and he's back to kissing you like you are the single most important thing to him.

#Russell Millings #Adopt a Highway #Russell Millings headcanons #Adopt a Highway headcanons #Russell Millings smut #Adopt a Highway smut #Russell Millings x Reader #Ethan Hawke #Ethan Hawke x Reader #Ethan Hawke headcanons #persephone answers

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juleswolverton-hyde · 5 years

Text

Lonely Paws

Genre: Smut, Cam boy AU, FWB AU, College/University AU

Pairing: Cam boy!Namjoon x Reader

Warning: sub!Namjoon, male masturbation, impregnation kink, Namjoon is bad at sex, pet play (wolf pup play... ah dinnae ken, is that a thing?), sweater paws, unrequited love, allusion to unsafe penetrative sex (ALWAYS do it safely, lads and lasses!), exhibitionism, voyeurism, mild swearing/cussing

Summary: When a wolf pup carrying around a heart that is only sometimes loved is left alone, fantasy provided by the owner belonging to another forms a great escape to being appreciated.

Masterlist

Relationships are easily influenced occurrences, sometimes even so much so it is hardly possible to ascribe a certain status to it. Break-ups made undone only to become a steady rhythm of separation and reunion between two people, friendships flowing over into romance after bravely asking for a date yet acting so much so the same it makes one wonder when the connection deepened.

As became the case on the edge of the bed one night three years ago, tipsy on wine and whiskey but likely having ended up there anyway with the same wish even without booze. The same trust required to put into another for scary though rememberable first experiences, something we were not able to put into anyone but each other.

Sighing praise for wanton whimpers after tasting soft lips scented with grapes as bodies collided over and over, Y/N became the first woman to ever truly get exclusive attention despite the plethora of girls at high school and currently at university. Only her digits are allowed to run through ashy chocolate locks, caress round cheeks intentionally or without cause, wander lower and lower to stir up emotional storms that hold no significant meaning to anyone but a wisened spirit.

A mere sex buddy.

But, fortunately, also something of a more important nature.

Her pet wolf.

Because beneath a learned consciousness studying philosophy mainly out of pure interest but also due to not knowing what else to do, goes a persona seeking refuge in the ability to please others over digital highways while having a certain steady direction in the shape of a gorgeous owner.

As is the case during one’s youth, many new experiences are explored mostly out of curiosity and sometimes simply for shits and giggles. Porn is a discovery which combines the sentiments, the former becoming more and more dominant after filming a personal pleasurable session while continuously muttering the name of the wonderful woman who has put a boy in love in the friendzone and eventually putting it online afterwards. The desire to get to know the sensual field grew even more after seeing the positive comments, finding a sense of accomplishment in them.

Acknowledgement.

Something that has never followed the sex with Y/N, who always returns to Jisung, a young producer she met on a holiday in Malaysia. Thus, the strangely deep yet shallow friendship repeatedly ascends and descends, acquiring and losing statuses.

Fortunately, howbeit perversely and sadly, a form of recognition came one day during the cleaning of the bedroom in the house shared with six other men with whom a brotherhood has been established. Save to say, none of them knows what their trusted companion does as a job on the side to make ends meet.

The pretty lady was cleaning under the bed when fingers traced out the fluffy shape of the recently acquired stone grey tail plug, which was gifted by a long-time viewer after proposing to try something new.

‘Uhm, Joon? What’s this?’ The toy in hand, the secret crush looked questionably at a mortified face caught in a war between Truth and Lie.

Choosing for the righteous side with a soft-spoken voice because it seemed the only way to save a precious unrequited love. ‘I- I can explain. Can we talk for a bit?’

And that is how the revelation of the weekly cam shows came to be, though the detail of doing it out of an urge to be seen as a lover was kept hidden and has been up till now.

‘So you do this as an extra source of income?’ This is all she was allowed to know. The truth, albeit the censored version. The familiar voice heard speaking in tones that should be preserved for the busy boyfriend yet were heard by a pup sounded questioning, although there was a weird preluding tone in it as well.

‘Y- Yes. I hope it doesn’t-’ The attempt at gaining an estimate of the damage the information would inflict upon the sturdy friendship was cut short by a paradoxically misplaced inquiry.

‘Who’s your biggest patron?’ A question that fully showed the identity of the strange emotion floating beneath the surface just a second earlier, hand clenching the freshly washed navy bedding as teeth gritted in curious animosity directed toward something unknown.

Or, rather, someone.

Jealousy.

Y/N had actually turned emerald in envious despair.

Which was incredibly out of place for the love of a man for a gorgeous best friend had been unrequited until then. Until the sun sets in the west. However, failing to see that among the sheets the reality is different, fierce protest came against the then deemed absurd demeanour. ‘Does it matter? Y/N, it’s not as if we- ah!’

Out of the blue and as fast as lightning, a familiar small palm held many times while mindlessly fucking or on the rare occasion of genuine lovemaking - at least it was sincere for one party - enveloped denim heated with shameful images of what could be done with the discovered toy. Especially when surrendered to the woman who inherently belonged to another. ‘Nobody claims my wolf for themselves.’

‘Y- Your wolf?’ A slight squeeze awakened the submissive persona within that always surfaces when similar circumstances occur, reducing a baritone voice to needy whining.

‘Yes, Joonie. Mine.’ A whimper fell from full stunned lips, paralyzed by the digits that had slipped past the rim of jeans and underwear to act upon the primal urges overtaking demeanour, enjoying the sensation of sinning soft skin encouraging release. A mischievous grin began to grow from the snarl on my new owner’s lovely face, continuing to contrastingly sweetly caress the right cheek before petting chocolate milk strands as the knot in the pit of the stomach kept building. ‘My beautiful honey wolf.’

‘Y- Yours.’ The acknowledgement was spoken in the broken manner which has always been a loved aspect of a boy in love and has never failed to make Y/N happy.

The priority of every pet.

Of every man loving their significant other.

To delight the person the heart belongs to.

‘What’s that?’ Regardless of having heard it clearly, the statement allowing the enchanting mistress to claim full possession of a wolf boy wanted to be heard again if only for personal satisfaction.

The knowledge to be better than the biggest sponsor.

Because she was there first.

Always had been.

Always will be.

‘I- I’m y- yours.’ It came out on a squeaky breath, the pooling heat below having grown painful and turned even more agonizing when being encouraged further. A kiss on the neck went paired with a careful lick, testing the waters to discover how much this alternative animalistic personality was truly liked despite every instinct urging to act and chase a release into blinding bliss. ‘Let m- me m- make you f- feel good.’

And it was liked. Very much so, judging by the firm grip on whimpering locks driven further to the edge by fingertips sneaking towards the most sensitive part and suggestive tone in the whisper that definitely changed the relationship. ‘Then put on your pretty tail, Joonie, and let’s see how good my wolf really can make me feel.’

Being driven too much to edge already, everything went blank when connecting unprotected after the swift disposal of clothes covering the lower body but not being allowed to recuperate before being forced into moving by the firm grip on the behind and thus left mewling in overstimulation.

However, it is the duty of a pet to satisfy its owner.

The duty of a wolf to satisfy its bitch.

So the warm orange afternoon carried on into lilac twilight, breathing laboured while trying to perform to the best of capability despite clumsy movements that at some point no longer were given feedback but gone along with and thin spurts of gratitude.

Luckily, the pretty owner did not seem to mind it just like the audience tuning in weekly to see a stuttering baby boy did not mind the transformation into a submissive wolf pup which is owned. In fact, it sparked encouraging perverse cooing alongside sincere comments about the innocent sweetness of the situation, praising loyalty and looks.

A bond that remains even when Y/N is absent, keeping up appearances of a normal friendship by readily agreeing to Jisung’s plan to go on a holiday together and thus basically forcing a pup to be left behind. Withal, the wonderful mistress has found a way to make her baby wolf remember who adopted it, who it should remain in service to despite a prolonged absence.

Everything is set up for tonight’s broadcast, the camera set up just at the right angle to capture any increase of sensual excitement illuminated by the few additional not too brightly shining ring lights kept out of the screen. The vague scent of peach hangs in the air among linen and figs, stemming from the liquid aid supporting the transformation from a man into a boy in unrequited love. Furry chocolate ears protrude from same-toned locks and match the fluffy tail gifted recently after visiting the hairdresser together to return from icy platinum to warm brown, quickly falling into sinful teasing - as has become a habit between us - whenever nobody was looking.

To complete the outfit or, rather, the lack of clothes, hands are buried in the oversized sleeves of the striped sweater that was also given as a present because I behaved so well.

No, not me.

The persona.

The pet within.

Indeed.

Because I behaved and even trained to become a better lovable cub though the clumsiness shall never fade, no matter how many hours are spent on endeavours to improve performance. Notwithstanding, as long as nothing is said to indicate evident dissatisfaction, perhaps the way we are is the best despite being stationary.

Clearing the throat a few times to naturally fall into the cute demeanour concealed beneath a wise exterior, fingertips already slightly tease sensitive skin after pulling up an innocent picture of the beautiful woman turned into more than a friend. Slowly, sanity loses itself over the coy smile holding out a fork with a bite of homemade matcha cake, liking it only if she has made it. However, Reason can be prevented from getting completely lost in sensual limbo by stopping all movements before it starts to feel too incredible and fancy conjures an imitating spirit.

A deep longing sigh escapes at the view on agitated desire, twitching with the need for more yet having to wait in unwanted refraining until tonight’s plan is put into motion. ‘Ok, here we go.’

For the last time, all equipment is checked as well as the connection to the streaming platform. All is well.

Time to begin.

‘H- Hey, everyone. I- It’s me, J- Joonie.’ As soon as the record button is pushed, the stuttering alternative personality who loves wearing oversized sweaters and knows only to obey in order to please takes over fully. ‘M- Mistress is a- away on a h- ho- holiday and I c- coul- couldn’t come with her.’

The first comments about what a shame it is and filled with wonder how Y/N, nicknamed Mistress for privacy reasons, could do such a thing start to flood the chat window. Seeing the pity makes a warm flush spread throughout that rises to caramel cheeks which are swiftly covered by a sweater paw as the other continues to hide the twitching longing beneath. ‘Th- Thank you for your k- kind words. I- It’s a- al- alright, though. My pre- pretty owner has l- left a m- me- message so I’ll re- remember who I belong t- to. It’ll b- be like she’s h- here.’

More viewer reactions, this time praising the adorable stutter and loyalty of a good wolf pup.

Appreciation.

Love.

All that the gorgeous best friend with benefits cannot fully give to the philosophical mind always walking on the sideline, close yet far away. Lies down on the other pillow in the two-person bed after ensuring the heart belonging to another is cherished despite not being owned outside of the agreed-upon relationship.

The lover is inherently and undeniably hers.

Both the man and the wolf.

I am Y/N’s.

‘L- Let’s have a l- look at wh- what Mistress sent.’ From the side, the silver iPhone protected by a transparent case decorated with pastel pink paw prints is retrieved and the messenger app opened, my beautiful owner’s last message being the video meant for tonight.

One hand is already firmly wrapped around hardened heated skin once the recording commences, trying to control the throbbing a little longer. Already sets a cheeky slow pace at the first second showing a beloved bare body of which every inch has been kissed, especially on the days when everything felt futile.

Speeding up a bit when interest is perked by a fuchsia and twilight purple wolf dildo and the alabaster mess between spread thighs.

‘Joonie~‘ Ears perk up at being called by a familiar beloved voice, breathing accelerating and curiously tilting chocolate milk locks in anticipation of what will follow. ‘You’ve made quite a mess, haven’t you?’

A fake memory replays itself, repeating the moment of placing a wolf’s gratitude inside Mistress after tethering on the edge without being allowed to fall as nails etched beautiful long carmine trails over honey skin to mark territory. She looked more gorgeous than ever among the pale blue sheets, so much more wonderful than a common bitch.

And the mere thought of seeing it again fuels the growing and slowly becoming painful heat between muscled legs.

‘I know you’re on your rut.’ Impatiently, the wanton hardened shape glides suggestively among the ivory sticky mess, wanting to act on primal desire again but also be a good pup and wait for consent. ‘And I wish I could be there to help you with it.’

‘B- But you a- are here, M- Mistress.’ The delirium already starts to take over fast as the pleasurable pace accelerates yet is not fast enough to completely lose control. The word would have to be given first for that to happen. A good pet waits and obeys, does not come undone before it is allowed. Nevertheless, that does not mean whimpering is not allowed. ‘Pl- Please, I wa- wanna fuck. Kn- Knot you.’

‘But let’s pretend I’m there with you.’

A familiar hand moves the artificial plaything, no, real heated sensual craving closer to where a thick unclear stream flows languidly to coat it in the fluid. ‘You’re a naughty boy, aren’t you? Rutting against my leg all day. Fucking needy.’

‘Y- Yeah.’ It could not be helped because to a barely human mind Mistress looked incredibly alluring and smelled so sweetly of summer figs. And a fortunate oversized clumsy cub was allowed to indulge in the temptation. ‘You l- look so pr- pretty.’

Feeling impatiently brave, an attempt is made at a bodily connection without being given explicit consent. However, the start is quickly nullified and punished with a firm squeeze below that coaxes out a whine hanging somewhere between pain and delight. ‘Bad boy. Did I say you could put your thick throbbing cock in?’

Lips purse into a pout, ears flat against the scalp as a fluffy chocolate milk tail hangs low, speaking softly in apology. ‘N- No. S- Sorry, Mistress.’

‘So impatient.’ Again, all that is allowed is agonizingly teasing gliding among the mess already made, restraint becoming harder and harder to maintain. ‘Not even wanting to do foreplay.’

Slender fingertips move to the most sensitive part which is swollen in agitated red bordering on plum, reducing speech to simple-minded whining not very shy of wanton sobbing. ‘B- But you, ah, d- don’t like th- that. Al- Always, mhm, use j- just lube.’

‘Are you getting desperate, Joonie? Leaking?’ The mischievous palm moves away to give attention to parts left in neglect, a pleased smirk on the mouth kissed many times before in the way it wants. ‘Shit, look at those veins, how thick you are. You’re a big boy.’

‘Y- Yes!’ The mere sliding continues, edging a gradually fleeting soul further to the edge of ignorant bliss. Henceforth, only simply repeating is practically all that is possible in the way of talking. ‘I- I’m a b- big boy.’

‘We’ll use your cum as lube, Joonie. Now- What a shame.’

Nonetheless, consciousness is kicked off into the abyss anyway.

A disappointed sigh obviously stresses the severity of the made mistake. ‘You really can’t behave, can you? Bad boy.’

Luckily, a floating mind can come down rapidly enough to offer sincere apologies for the misbehaviour, trying to nuzzle the neck to strengthen the show of remorse but being denied to do so. ‘I- I’m sorry, Mistress. I di- didn’t, n- no, w- w- wait! I- I’m sen- sensitive. P- Please. G- Give me a- a- ah!’

A novel assault on the part which is the utmost susceptible to touch quickens breathing to short shallow breaths, nerves being forced into overdrive by the hurtful overload of contact. ‘I thought you’d be better than this, but it appears I have to teach you manners again.’ A thumb presses hard against the angry reddened skin, tail swishing in sensual panic. ‘I don’t care if you can’t handle it, you’re going to put your dick inside me and keep going until your knot makes my stomach bulge with cum. So, be a good wolf and... and- fuck, Namjoon~’

Accepting the punishment like a good pet, ignoring the pain of overstimulated nerves, the bodily spell is established again after being helped in lining up. Clearly to the delight of my pretty owner, who hums in breathless satisfaction. ‘Fuck, I’m clenching your hard thick cock. Feel your knot already forming, pressing against my pussy.’

The connection is exploited as much as possible, reaching the point of utmost hypnosis when seeing the lewd outline of sensual craving create a little bump in a soft stomach. And that could become so much more if the wishes caused by the rut are seen to fruition, but only if Mistress wants them to be as well, of course. ‘Wa- Wanna give you p- pups, em- empty inside.’

To worsen the chastisement and please the gorgeous woman beneath, hips snap at a rapid pace in the chase to a second shot of white ignorance. Tail high and swishing back and forth in sexual agitated delight, fluffy chocolate brownie ears perk up to zone in on the background noise accompanied by the symphony of skin on skin and barely audible praise mingled with gasps while expanding the mess already made. ‘Listen to that. How slick my pussy is with your thick cum inside. You’ll definitely make me pregnant.’

‘Y- You’d look even pr- prettier ca- carrying our children.’ The mere image of creating our own little pack drives the frenzy for release, imaging Y/N’s stomach rounded and beautiful breasts swollen with milk for our cubs. Finally, we would have something to proudly call our own. ‘I- I love you, lo- love you so so much.’

Determined irises suppressing the equal desperation for blissful blinding make contact, nails digging into the back of the neck and the pain adding to the pleasure of being the sole one for a gorgeous woman. For my pretty owner. ‘You gonna knot me again, Joonie? Make me your bitch, your only bitch?’

The rapid sweeping of the full tail signals being incredibly close to the long-chased climax, a wonderful state of being only the marvellous woman beneath can push her pet to. ‘Yes. Yes, yes! Y- You’re my, um, hmm, o- only bitch. The only, ah, o- one I wa- want.’

The only one I want to bring me to this point.

The only one I feel safe with.

Only her.

‘Oh my God, oh my God! Joonie! Shit, it’s so big.’ Familiar locks throw themselves into the pillow as a wolf’s gratitude slides in, laughing breathlessly in a moment of selfish pride, ears perked up. After all, a cocoa and honey wolf is the sole being which is allowed to do this, to be more of a lover than Jisung.

Make Mistress’s belly swell with cubs.

‘God! Yeah, stretch me open, big boy. Mmm, good pup. Love your cum flowing out of my pussy, the way you make my stomach bulge. Shit~ I love your wolf cock.’

‘Y- Yours. I- I’m yours. Only y- yours.’ Teeth bite down on the bottom lip, the barely aware mind utterly mesmerized by the show of pleased satisfaction. ‘You l- look perfect, M- Mistress.’

For a few seconds, the world slowly begins to turn as breath is regained and composure restored. Happy giggles fill the silence, soft caresses gliding over muscled arms in the aftermath and soothing the impact of the spell when it is nullified.

‘Fuck, look at how open you fucked me.’ Gaze wanders downward, humming bordering on whimpering at the sight. Richly and languidly, a thick alabaster stream flows between thighs, increasing the arousing mess between them.

A finger hooks beneath the chin, forcing a lock of gazes. ‘You’ll solely do this to me, understood? As soon as I’m back from my holiday, you’ll actually use me again as your bitch for the remainder of your rut and the ones to come. Do I make myself clear?’

The view causes a loss for words so that frantic nodding will have to substitute the strength of a promise that cannot be formed vocally. ‘Y- Yes, Mistress.’

The mirage fades away with the dawning realization there are comments on the screen, cooing at the fantasy of a lonesome pup which has its paws covered in a sensual mess.

‘R- Right, she isn’t h- here. Heh, how st- stupid of m- me.’ Voice reduces to whimpering, feeling the torn open gap that will not be filled. Left behind in the heart forevermore, even as a farewell is said to viewers sitting distantly behind a screen. ‘I m- miss her. But sh- she’ll be back. M- Mistress always c- comes back. Thank you f- for your kind w- words and keeping m- me company. Paw kissies from Joonie! Bye bye!’

But it is all just a fantasy.

The camera is turned off.

Just like the belief I shall ever be Y/N’s.

Fully.

Exclusively.

A pillow shielding a deepthroat cup is placed between muscled thighs.

And the preferred method of slightly healing the wounded part of a philosophical mind very easily twisted into a simple animal is given into.

The self-made noise mingling with the lewd sucking takes away the meaning of the burning tears streaming down.

Because all we have is this unrequited cruelty.

A wolf pup and its owner.

The truth untold.

#BTS #hyunglinenetwork #thekimlinenet #btssmutclub #smutcentralnet #BTS x Reader #Bangtan #BTS smut #Namjoon #RM #Kim Namjoon #Joon #cam boy!Namjoon #sub!Namjoon

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atc74 · 4 years

Text

New Traditions

Square(s) Filled: Christmas for @spnbromentbingo, Family for @spntfwbingo

Warnings: Snowstorm, fluff, Dean being domestic, Sam being shy, implied smut

Summary: Dean and Sam arrive in Sioux Falls to spend their new Christmas Tradition with Jody, the girls, and Donna.

Pairing: Dean x Donna, Sam x Jody

Word Count: 1485

Written for: @spnbromentbingo, @spntfwbingo, and @katymacsupernatural 6K Golden Christmas. I choose the aesthetic below. Katy, thank you and congrats!

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches

Looking for the next level fan experience? Check out Dean, Sam, Donna, and Jody here from @scentsfromthebunker!

Dean scowled as he looked at the road ahead of them. He glanced sideways at his brother, sleeping against the cold, frosted over window. “I know, girl. Not much longer, I promise.”

“Dude, are you seriously talking to your car?” Sam yawned, stretching his long limbs as best he could in the confined space of Baby’s front seat.

“We hate the snow, it’s why we live in Kansas!” Dean retorted, turning his attention back to the snow covered highway.

“No, we live in Kansas, because that is where the Men of Letters built their super secret bunker,” Sam corrected him.

“Whatever, bitch.”

“Jerk.”

They were only about five miles from the Sioux Falls exit to Jody’s. She had decided a few years back that they all needed something to look forward to, so she started a new Christmas tradition for her little hunter family. For one solid weekend, they took three days of uninterrupted family holiday fun. Unless a nearby case popped up. Fortunately, they had been lucky so far.

Dean pulled into Jody’s drive just as Donna was backing out. She rolled down her window and greeted the Winchesters. “Heya boys. Just heading into town to get a few extras to get us through the weekend. Wanna tag along?”

“Sure, why not?” Dean shrugged, pulling Baby into the empty garage. They climbed from the car, Sam grabbing their bags and Dean heading to Donna’s truck.

“This is a sweet ride, Donna. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Baby more than anything, but her rear wheel drive is less than desirable in these conditions,” Dean commented as he buckled up.

“I’m from Minnesota, Dean. Anything less than four wheel drive is undesirable!” she snorted, kicking the truck into four by four and rolling down Jody’s street.

With extra groceries, extra liquor and extra Christmas movies, Dean and Donna returned to Jody’s around sunset and a couple extra inches of snow later. “It’s really coming down out there!”

“They’re predicting a polar vortex now,” Jody commented, pulling a roast from the oven. “Up to ten inches total, then the bottom is supposed to fall out tomorrow afternoon, dropping temps into the mid twenty below range.”

“This is how much we love you, Jody,” Dean laughed, bringing dishes to the table. “Braving the weather to spend the weekend with you.”

“Hey!” Donna piped up.

“With all of you,” Dean corrected himself.

“Thank you,” she smiled.

“Alex is working overtime at the hospital, and Claire was on her way back from a hunt in Montana when the storm hit. I told her to stay put and booked her a nicer hotel,” Jody commented as she brought the roast to the table. “So looks like it’s just us.”

“Sorry, the girls can’t be here, Jodes,” Donna empathized with her friend, knowing how important her adopted daughters were to her.

“Hey, it’s not like they ditched, life happens. We know all too well,” Jody smiled warmly at her guests.

Over a hearty meal. Donna filled them in on the small town happenings of Hibbing. Sam and Dean took turns telling the ladies about their last few hunts, and Jody gave them updates on the girls. With the exception of talk of ganking monsters, it was as close to a normal meal they got.

With the dishes soaking and nightcaps poured, Jody led her guests down to the recently finished basement.

“Jody, this is awesome!” Dean marveled as he explored the newly done space. A fireplace, wall mounted TV and bookshelves took up one side, with a large sectional sofa. She added three spare bedrooms as well, always wanting to have room for an unexpected guest.

“Thanks, Dean,” Jody replied. She showed them their rooms then headed back upstairs to finish the dishes.

“I’ll give you a hand,” Sam offered, flashing a shy smile.

~*~

The next morning arrived with a foot of fresh snow, blanketing her yard in crisp white. Jody and Sam enjoyed a cup of coffee before starting breakfast.

Jody tiptoed back up the stairs after trying to rouse the two still sleeping hunters, showing Sam the evidence she captured on her phone. “They look so cute!”

“He looks happy, even asleep. They both do,” Sam smiled. Dean had made a bed of sofa cushions on the floor in front of the fireplace, his arm wrapped tightly around Donna. “Wish I would have thought of that. Give you a little romance for once.”

“I don’t need romance, Sam Winchester, I just need you,” Jody proclaimed, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his.

“Hey, hey, hey! Quit making out like teenagers, you’re gonna burn the bacon!” Dean rushed to the stove. “Heathens don’t appreciate bacon.”

Jody blushed, having been caught by Dean. Not like what she and Sam had was a secret, they just hadn’t told anyone. Donna gave her a wink, pouring two cups of coffee.

Sam was quieter than usual during breakfast, concentrating on his egg whites, when Dean started chuckling. “Hey, it’s not a big deal, guys. We’re all adults. It’s about time we get some from someone that understands the life. Am I right, Don?”

Jody almost choked on a piece of fruit and Sam looked mortified. Donna leaned toward his chair next to her. “That was more than some. You were rocking this D-Train all night.”

“Okay, okay! We don’t need details!” Sam scoffed.

“Hey, if we can’t talk about it, we shouldn’t be doing it, right?” Jody looked at Sam expectantly.

“I’m cool talking about sex, but I don’t want to talk about the details of our sex life. That’s just for you and me,” Sam softened, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as he rose from the table. “I’m not a pig like Dean.”

“Hey, I’m not a pig, you prude!” Dean grunted.

“You eat enough bacon, you might be part pig,” Donna giggled, trying to lighten the mood.

~*~

Dean and Jody worked most of the afternoon, putting together a feast for an early dinner. Donna had gone to the hospital to pick up Alex when her car wouldn’t start. They arrived just in time to sit down to eat.

“This is incredible, Jodes!” Donna gushed over the spread in front of them. Ham, cheese covered potatoes, green beans, broccoli, salad, and pie.

“Actually, Dean did most of this,” Jody acknowledged as she passed dishes. “Thank you for cooking.”

“I don’t get a chance to cook much, not when it’s just the two of us,” Dean commented. “I won’t ever get the apple pie life, but this is close.” He looked up, meeting Donna’s gaze, giving her a small smile.

“A beast in the bedroom and you can cook? You’re a man of many talents, Dean Winchester,” she giggled quietly.

“Well, that’s more information than I needed after a thirty-six hour shift,” Alex sassed, finishing her meal quickly and excusing herself to shower and sleep for a week.

“I stopped on the way back and grabbed a treat,” Donna shot up from her chair, heading into the kitchen. “Dean? Can you give me a hand?”

They returned several minutes later, Dean’s hair sticking up and Donna’s face flushed. Each of them carried two glasses. “We made eggnog!”

“Is that a euphemism? Please tell me this is just eggnog,” Sam groaned, taking a glass from his brother.

“Shut up, bitch.”

“Jerk.”

“Hey, it’s Christmas!” Jody scolded, raising her glass. “To good food and great friends.”

“To family,” Sam smiled at her from across the table.

“To hope,” Donna blushed, looking into her drink when Dean caught her eye.

“To a whole year of no one dying,” Dean raised his glass.

“Dude,” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Boys,” Jody interrupted. “Thank you all for being here. I’m lucky to have each of you. Now, it’s time for gifts!”

Everyone passed out their gifts, taking a seat around the fire and taking turns opening. Dean smiled, looking around the circle. He and Sam never really celebrated Christmas when they were growing up, their Dad often gone on a hunt. But since meeting Donna and Jody, the tradition had grown and now it felt natural to just be in the moment, enjoying it for as long as it lasted.

With his brother on one side and Donna curled into him on the other, they sat back with their eggnog and popcorn, Home Alone playing quietly on the television.

Dean pressed a kiss to the top of Donna’s head as she snuggled in a little deeper. “Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals,” she giggled, not as asleep as he thought.

Jody and Sam joined in and Dean couldn’t stop himself any longer as he started laughing along with the others. Maybe it was the eggnog, maybe it was the normalness, but Dean felt at peace for the first time in maybe forever. Maybe Christmas miracles can happen, even for salty hunters.

The Whole Enchilada: @iwantthedean @dolphincliffs @mrswhozeewhatsis @meganwinchester1999 @cherrycokegirls1 @closetspngirl @roxyspearing @flamencodiva @blacktithe7 @sis-tafics @just-another-busyfangirl @evansrogerskitten @amanda-teaches @hannahindie @wotinspntarnation @winchesterprincessbride @winecatsandpizza @kickingitwithkirk @wi-deangirl77 @hobby27 @mogaruke @gh0stgurl @alleiradayne @idreamofplaid @seenashwrite @crashdevlin @thoughtslikeaminefield @emoryhemsworth

The Dean’s List/Jensen’s Jamboree: @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @dean-winchesters-bacon @maddiepants @adoptdontshoppets @supernatural-jackles @fandom-princess-forevermore @akshi8278

The Sam Sin-dicate / Jared’s Menagerie: @supernatural-jackles @fandom-princess-forevermore

#spnbromentbingo #spntfwbingo #katy6kgolden #dean winchester fanfiction #sam winchester fanfiction #sam x jody #dean x donna #supernatural fanfiction

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littlemeowmeowschimmy · 5 years

Text

Life’s Little Joys [Yoongi x Reader] 8

credit: littlemeowmeowschimmy

Requests opened // prev - m.list - next

Genre: Cute // Fluff // Smut // Angst // PG 13

Summary: Your life takes an unexpected turn when your period comes five days late…

WC: 1.8k

A/N: I don’t know why it takes me forever to update these chapters. Sorry y’all!

»»————-　★　————-««

Daegu was always pretty during the season change. It was Yoongi’s idea to get married at the end of the summer and into autumn. Meaning your honeymoon was spent during the autumn season, and you couldn’t have been happier. The heat was starting to go down, and you could dress up in warm clothes.

You brought out your scarf, baggy hoodies, and boots. It made it harder for people to tell you were carrying a child, so there was that upside to it. You had a small bump; however, you hid it very well with your hoodies. Therefore, it seemed that only mothers who had carried would understand certain aspects of the female figure that was slightly changing.

You noticed it on yourself during the honeymoon. Certain types of clothes just were fitting right anymore, and your body just felt different. This meant that you were wearing yoga pants all the time, baggy clothes, and your hair was either pulled back or loose. Yoongi wasn’t complaining because he could stare at your ass all day in yoga pants. It was a win-win for him because he loved your body just the way it was.

The drive to Daegu was long and silent. You two were thinking of different ways to approach his parents. As a matter of fact, the first person you were going to tell, was his eldest brother. For the reason of you were already over there to see Holly, and you knew he wasn’t going to say anything.

Geumjae was a kind soul, and you enjoyed his company. Most said he looked a lot like Yoongi, and you could see it. Especially when they wore certain clothes and styled their hair in specific ways. Their personalities were somewhat similar, but with different twists to them. When you met Geumjae, it was at a concert. He’d come with their parents for the finale in Seoul.

You were only dating Yoongi for a couple of months, and this was the first time you were meeting his parents. You had conversations with them over the phone and on facetime, but due to your busy schedule and your husband’s, you didn’t have the time to go back to Daegu to physically meet them. Geumjae just happened to tag along this time, and that’s how you kicked it off with him.

He was like an elder brother to you and often served as one. You didn’t have any brothers, so it was nice adopting one into your life. Yoongi reaches across to your side, holding your hand gently as he decreases his speed off the highway. You look in his direction, smiling a little as Daegu came into view. There were certain similarities to Daegu and Seoul. However, the elephant in the room was Seoul was a lot larger than Daegu.

Obviously, because it was the capital. Yet, you still liked the feeling that Daegu gave whenever you visited. Yoongi made his way through the inner city to find his brother’s apartment. It was easier to visit Holly first and then go to visit his parents because they had a house outside of the city. Plus, you knew that Yoongi missed Holly more than anything in the world. Although your husband rarely showed it, he loved Holly.

When you first met Yoongi, he couldn’t stop talking about Holly. Mostly because they had just found him, and he was excited to show the little guy off. When there was time, you all went to visit Daegu. Yoongi stopping at his brother’s place first, then his parents so they could spend some time together. Although, whenever you came, Holly would always tag along.

Your husband wanted to get as much time as he possibly could with Holly. It made sense, considering that he barely saw the little guy. Most of the conversation’s Yoongi had with his brother was about Holly as he shared pictures with him.

You glanced out the window, smiling at the beautiful autumn colors surrounding you. Since your mind was in other places, you hadn’t noticed your arrival at Geumjae’s apartment complex. Yoongi parked the car in the lot, then squeeze your hand. Suddenly pulling you from your thoughts, you glanced towards your husband with curious eyes.

“You’re not spacing out, are you?” he questions, tilting his head a bit to the side. A tug on his lips showed he was about to give you a gummy smile. You flushed at his expression and question, then only going to unbuckle yourself. Pulling your hand away from his and opening the car door.

“Let’s get inside, okay?” You mumbled, stepping out first and shutting the door behind you. Yoongi could only shake his head at your actions as he, too, did the same. He grabbed a few bags from the back, shut the door, and locked the car. Yoongi briskly makes his way around to wrap his free arm around your waist. You turn in his direction, smile, and head towards the elevators.

The ride up to his apartment wasn’t long, but it wasn’t short either. You two sat in your own thoughts as both of you were trying to figure out how to come out to his brother. He was the first person, other than the members, to spill the news. Yes, it would have been polite to first let both of your parents know, but the two of you were trying to jump over that hurdle more than anything.

Since your thoughts were clouded, your movements were automatic. Taking a few turns, walking down the hallways, and then knocking on Geumjae’s apartment door. It was only when you heard Holly’s bark did you seem to be cleared.

You felt Yoongi’s grip tighten as you assumed he was holding in his excitement. Another aspect you noticed was whenever Yoongi visited Holly, he seemed to hold a lot of tension before letting Holly jump excitedly all over him. A few moments later, you heard the door unlocking and opening.

You spotted Geumjae smiling at his younger brother, then a few seconds later, Holly came bounding over. You had to take a step back because you knew Holly was coming for Yoongi. Your husband, on the other hand, set all the bags down and held his arms wide open for his puppy.

Holly’s fur had gotten lighter since the last you saw him. He wasn’t as dark as before, but he still had the energy that he usually gave. “Holly~” Yoongi coos before going into incoherent sounds ruffling his fur. You simply rolled your eyes as you bent down to grab the bags. When you came back, you gave a small smile towards Geumjae.

“How was the honeymoon?” He questions, taking a step back as you begin to move in.

“It was fine 아주버님 (ajubeonim),” you start moving in and giving him a small hug. Geumjae was warm to the touch, and the hug was brief. You set your bags down so you could take off your boots. Geumjae always had spare slippers around, so you weren’t so worried about bringing your own. You slipped into them and moved inwards after picking the bags up once again.

Yoongi was busy giving Holly as much love as possible before he finally moved in. Holly bounds his way towards you, jumping up on your legs. You spun, catching the little one in your arms. Holly wasn’t so little anymore as he was taking up most of your arms.

He began to lick your checks and squirm in your arms. Something that Yoongi complained about because Holly was the only one who gave such affection. You remember him mentioning that Holly doesn’t lick another person’s face as he’s very picky and anal about such things. However, when it comes to you, Holly absolutely adores you.

“Okay, okay,” You say happily, setting Holly down after a few seconds of his hello. “I’m happy to see you too, munchkin.” You ruffle the top of his fur, laughing as you move towards the couch. There you sat down, then grunted when Holly jumped up and proceeded to lie down.

“I see how it is,” Yoongi complains, placing his hands on his lap. Your eyes went straight for your husband, shook your head, and then sighed just a little bit. Your hands went right back down on Holly’s fur, enjoying his warm. The room grew somewhat silent, mostly on your end, because your husband became too invested in talking to his brother.

They were catching up on aspects of their lives that they missed. Despite them calling each other often, it wasn’t anywhere near talking to him in person. So you understood, for the most part. It was only when your husband suggested that you had something to say to Geumjae. Your hands grew sweaty, considering this was the first person outside of your small circle you were going to say.

Geumjae walked over to hand you a glass of warm tea, just as you requested. Yoongi was sitting on the chair right across from the couch, and Geumjae was standing there with his hands in his pockets.

You reached out to take the glass in your palm, humming just a little. It was like the words were caught in your throat, and it didn’t help you hadn’t really planned anything out. Revealing that you were pregnant to everyone was going to be hard, especially your parents. But they were in Busan, and you didn’t want to think about them just yet.

You eyed your tea a little smile spreading as you were thinking about the future. Then, taking a deep breath, you finally glanced back up at your brother in law. “A new heartbeat has entered the world,” you say, watching Geumjae’s eyebrows crinkle together. Then, you watched as the light bulb flashed, and his eyes brightened.

“You can’t be serious,” he whispers, moving forwards spreading his arms. Yoongi was the one to catch him before he came to you. Geumjae was laughing while hugging his brother, patting him on the back. In his excitement, he aroused Holly, who began to happily bark. In doing so, Holly was bouncing on your lap, which made things uncomfortable at first.

“How long have you known?”

“Twelve weeks,” Geumjae’s eyes widened once more when he came near. He started calculating the weeks you’ve been pregnant and then laughed.

“That makes sense why you didn’t touch alcohol at the wedding,” he mentions laughing once more. “It also makes more sense why mother kept pointing out that you looked different as well.”

That’s when Yoongi paused as well too. He quickly turned to look at his brother, eyes widening for a second. “Wait, mom knows?”

“Of course she knows. She carried two children, and your mom knows as well too. They kept talking about it.” Geumjae mentioned placing his hands on his hips. You took a sharp intake of air then turned to look at your husband. Yoongi was in just as big of a state of shock as you were. But then again, you weren’t too surprised. Both of your mothers were exceptionally investigative. They were bound to find out sooner or later...

Right?

#littlemeowmeowschimmy #bangtanarmynet #ficswithluv #btswriterscollective #min yoongi #bts yoongi #yoongi #reader insert #bts x reader #min yoongi x reader #yoongi x reader #bts yoongi x reader #fluff #bts au #baby au #bts series

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thatmultifandomhoe · 5 years

Text

Strawberry Cream and BBQ - 5

Pairing: Hybrid Hoseok and Human Reader

Overview: Your best friend knows she can count on you for anything, so when she asks you to watch her hybrid while she’s gone for a study abroad trip for four months, you can’t say no. But when these four months are over, things have changed in a way no one expected.

Word Count: 1,790

Genre: Hybrid AU, Fluff, Future smut, Angst, Best friends to Lovers

Warning: None.

Master List

Sneak Peak - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 (Final) - Move in Day: A SC&BBQ Drabble

©thatmultifandomhoe Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

By the time dinner was done, Hoseok had, to his preference, erased as much of Johnny’s scent that he could. Apparently, it was nonexistent and even if there was anything remaining, it would most certainly be gone by the end of the four months. If Johnny for some reason came around to visit, he’d get hit with the smell of Hoseok like a truck on a highway.

After that he disappeared into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. That was another thing. Normally he always kept his door open when he stayed over. But he had scampered into his room and had been there ever since, leaving you to a quiet apartment that you had been positive would be filled with laughter and Hoseok’s voice.

You took a sip of your third coffee, leaning against the fridge for a moment. Everything was ready to eat. The high counter was set for two, the windows were now closed and the heat was on, and Hoseok was still hiding. He had been in there for hours. Sighing, you put your mug next to your plate and stood outside his door. He had to be hungry at least.

“Hoseok,” you called out, lightly knocking on the door. Faintly you heard some shifting behind the door, but he didn’t unlock it. “Dinner’s ready. I made hamburgers, and my tuna casserole salad that I know you love.” It was a weak attempt to get him out, but in your defense, you had already planned out tonight’s meal in advance after agreeing to have him stay. It was his favorite meal of yours and it made sense to make it on his first night. You just wanted to make him comfortable about the long stay.

Only silence greeted you from his room, making you wonder if he was even still in there. You raised your hand to knock again, but at the last moment decided against it and stepped back. You weren’t going to force him to come out if he didn’t want to, he was a grown adult after all. Walking back to the kitchen, you took out your phone and scrolled through your music. It was one thing to eat alone, but eating in silence was something you were not going to do. In seconds pop music was softly playing and you set it on the counter, fixing a plate and sitting back down just as quickly. You only glanced back once, but when you only saw the wooden door staring at you, you pressed your lips together and began to eat.

Twirling the fork, you rested your cheek against your knuckles, absentmindedly pushing the casserole around. All you kept thinking about was how angry he looked. It wasn’t like you swore off men in front of your friends at some point in your life. Dating wasn’t the most important part of your life, but there had been a few guys you had relationships with. They even met your friends and had been praised about. But none of them were like the relationship Colin and Sue had. Granted, you weren’t looking for a snob of a boyfriend, but you wanted the part Sue had. The part where butterflies came alive in your stomach at the touch of your boyfriend, or the soft smile that randomly appeared when she thought about him, and how her eyes seemed to glow when she was looking at him.

You wanted to love someone and to be loved.

None of the men you dated made you feel that way, or you were putting in all the effort and they contributed negative zero after a while. So, you cut them loose. You cried, watched those stupid romantic comedies and muttered about how love was stupid to the TV screen, lived in your comfiest clothes, aka your pajamas, ate a bunch of junk food, and eventually, got over it.

It was the circle of life.

Hoseok knew that. He had been there for every heart break after he joined the group. You always told Sue when you broke up with an ex. Sometimes she would come over and join you in your grief, but typically she called to comfort and reassure you that not all guys were losers.

It was always within five minutes of the phone call ending that there was a knock at your door and upon opening it, found Hoseok standing there. A bag of junk food in one hand, and two cartons of your favorite ice cream in the other. He watched the movies with you, was the shoulder you cried on when the tears came out and after some time, would barge into your apartment and bedroom to tell you that you smelled funny and needed to shower and get dressed.

As much as Sue was your best friend, Hoseok was more than just your best friend, he was your rock. Your everything.

Which made it harder for you to comprehend why he acted that way. He never did when he smelled whatever lingering scent your exes left. After breakups he would say they smelled of desperation and asshole; it never failed to make you at least smile for him. Maybe it was because this time…this time it was a male hybrid. Someone he’d never been introduced to before. You hadn’t mention seeing anyone so he probably hadn’t prepared himself.

Sighing, you took another bite of your hamburger, a pickle sliding onto your plate with a sad plop. You tossed it into your mouth and was wiping your fingers on a napkin when you heard a door opening up. You pretended to not notice, preferring to let him make his own presence known. Which was harder than you expected. You wanted to turn around and apologize for not realizing that Johnny’s scent would have made him react that way. At the same time, a part of you wanted an apology. You were an adult woman, you were allowed to be with whoever you wanted, hybrid or human.

Without making any rash movements, Hoseok came up to your side, silently standing next to you with his head down. You could see his tail was lowered and his ears were to his sides. It was the opposite of the Hoseok that you knew and loved, and you didn’t like it. You missed your smiling Hobi who was happy and got excited at the mention of his favorite food. You put your fork down and wiped your mouth and fingers, turning to look at him.

Hoseok lifted his head, his brown eyes watery as he swallowed. He opened his mouth but closed, looking conflicted as he repeated this actions a few more times. Frustration was apparent with his own lack of words, the only sound he made was a sad whine. “I’m sorry Strawberry,” he finally spoke.

You simply raised an eyebrow, not speaking just yet.

He caught the message you were sending and continued on. “I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t have gotten angry. I didn’t want too, but as soon as I caught his scent…” he lowered his gaze as if he was ashamed with himself. “It’s a crappy excuse using my hybrid genes for acting that way, but it’s true. All I could think about was protecting you. Even though he’s obviously not a stranger to you, he was to me and I felt the urge to keep you safe. That’s not my place though. I’m Sue’s hybrid, not yours.”

Licking your lips, you reached out and gently tugged on his hand so he would look at you. “Hoseok, you may not be my hybrid, but you’re still my best friend.” You kept your voice soft but firm, wanting him to understand that you saw him as not just a hybrid, but as a person. As someone you wanted in your life. “And I accept your apology.”

“You do?” His head lifted some more and his ears perked up, hope filling his eyes again. “But I…I acted like some controlling prick.”

His wording made you smile and you shook your head. “No Hoseok. You were only doing what was instinct for you. You’re here almost as much as I am. If I remember correctly from that Hybrid 101 class I took, someone encroached on your territory and you were only trying to protect what’s yours. It’s literally a part of your DNA, I can’t be angry for something you can’t control.” You gave his hand a squeeze and looked around at the food that was still out. Smiling, you tugged on his hand. “Now come on, fix up a plate and eat with me. I’m lonely.”

Hoseok glanced around, slowly smiling as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you. Unlike before, when he had been trying to calm himself, his touch was gentle and hesitant as he pressed the side of his head against yours. He slowly took a deep breath, his muscles relaxing as you hugged him back. “I promise to not act like that again. And if for some reason I do, just tell me.”

You nodded, only leaning back so that you were able to grab his plate and hand it to him. “Now eat. I made all this for you.”

With a giggle, he quickly began to build up a plate, having two servings at once to make up for the time he was hiding out in his room. It seemed like he only sat on the stool next to you and he already had his food devoured, going back for even another helping of your casserole.

“Any text from Sue?” You asked, scooping up another bite of your dinner.

He shook his head though. “No. I checked and there wasn’t anything. She probably won’t send a text until late tomorrow. The flight to Hong Kong is nineteen hours.” Wiping his hands with a napkin, he scratched his neck around the band of his collar Sue had gotten him. It didn’t look like a typical hybrid collar. It was a simple black piece of fabric that had a silver clasp in the back, a small silver dog charm rested on the base of his throat. Since it was easily confused with just a necklace, Hoseok carried his form stating that Sue had adopted him in his wallet at all times.

“Well, how about after we clean up, we just be lazy and binge watch Netflix. Does that sound good?” You were already clearing up, glancing over your shoulder to ask if he was going to have any more to eat.

“Strawberry, when doesn’t that sound good?”

This time you were the one giggling, and you were rewarded with the best thing of all. Seeing Hoseok’s heart shape smile.

It certainly was good.

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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years

Text

light in the dark

Part Twenty

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (Netflix)

Ship: Diego Hargreeves x Original Character

Warnings: Language, abuse (emotional and physical), mental illness, violence and, in later chapters, smut.

Chapter Specific Author Note: I’m not an expert on stuttering and I’ve never had this specific speech impediment. I have done some reading and sought to portray this in a way which is accurate and sensitive. If you have thoughts, pointers or issues to flag up to me, feel free to drop me a message so I can improve.

He knew she wasn’t at the shelter – but where she was left Diego at a loss. His first thought was the gym, and he’d headed home but there was no sign of her. The moment he was sure he was back in the car, driving along the streets where he’d found her before, the diner they went the first night they met, before returning to the shelter. Kyle just shook his head at the question, and Diego was back out the door immediately to return to his car and driving aimlessly.

His fingers flexed on the wheel, itching to hold a knife even though his worry wasn’t an enemy he could hope to defeat with a blade. It was more a tick, a tool to comfort himself, and Diego didn’t know a better way to deal with the level of emotion that raged inside him. The longer he drove, the more streets he crawled down at the lowest speed the car could manage, the engine growling in protest, the more panicked he grew.

It was a circuit he ended up making – the shelter, the gym, the street where they met, and repeat. Without family and friends, without a job, without ties…Diego had no other ideas and the dawn light was lifting the darkness of the night when he pulled up outside the gym and checked for what felt like the hundredth time. Still no Evie.

Sliding back into the driver’s seat he slammed his fist against the steering wheel, all that worry over her turning into anger as he punched the car, a frustrated primal scream escaping him. Diego was exhausted, and out of ideas.

Where would she go?

No back to Idaho. But that did remind him of the journey she’d made across the states. Catching lights on highways, and begging money for…train tickets.

He fired the engine back up with a roar as a new thought occurred to him.

Evie was sat outside the bus station, crossed legged. Her head hunched forward, a hood pulled up, the fabric and her hair masking her face more effectively than the disguise Diego adopted of a night, and yet he knew her at once. She had slid her hands into the opposite sleeves, wore her backpack despite the fact she had sat down, and there was a scuffed paper cup sat in front of her.

Diego yanked the handbrake, heedless of the needs of the car he was normally so protective over, and was out the door in a moment to crouch on the ground before her.

“Shit Evie, you had me scared. Are you okay?” he said, both hands reaching to cup her elbows but she shifted away, turning her head to avoid his gaze. This was hard enough for her right now - in her mind, even sure it was Patch he wanted, Diego was who she wanted. It was the worst heartache she had felt in her life - to be so in need of comfort and having the person you’d most seek that from in front of you and yet to not take that, to hold back, to try and save yourself further pain and maintain some dignity.

“Angel, c’mon. I’ve been out my head with worry, looking for you for hours. Talk to me”. The frustration was gone, all he had was relief that at least he found her and fear she wouldn’t let him explain, wouldn’t even listen.

For a long moment there was silence, nothing comfortable like the quiet that usually settled between them, but taut and crackling with emotion neither one of them could voice.

“Why didn’t you come and talk to me? Why’d you run off?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you used to date Patch?” Eve responded, turning her face and now he could see her cheeks, streaked with tears, her lashes which had dried into salty spikes, and her lower lip, bleeding and marked with teeth marks, the skin torn and worried at.

“Because it didn’t fucking matter anymore” he insisted, vehemence lending his voice more violence then he intended. “It was years ago”.

Eve shook her head, unable to meet his gaze, her mouth quivering. She had thought she was done with crying, but more tears threatened to fall as she was faced with the reality of him.

“No? Evie – it’s the past”.

“But you didn’t-”

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I figured you’d prefer not to know”.

“Not to know that you’re in love with her…yeah…I’d have preferred not to know that” she admitted, with a bitter smile devoid of happiness.

“Wuh-wuh-wuh-” His old stutter returned, and his cheeks flushed beneath the stubble at the frustration. He hated the way his tongue betrayed him at the worst time. Grace always told him to slow down, to picture the word in his mind, but at times like this the concept of having to think before he spoke when emotions were running so high felt like the worst curse he could be saddled with. The more he tried to reach for the word the further away it seemed to be, the harder he tried the more impossible the task became.

It got her attention more effectively than any articulate word could have. Last time she heard him stumble like that it had been when he saw her scars.

Hurt as she was, the frustration on his face as he fought with his tongue had her heart aching and she lifted a hand to touch his cheek despite herself.

“Diego…” Her fingers dropped away from his skin, yanking back as though he could burn her skin as she realised, she shouldn’t do that. Fast as her automatic reaction was his own reflexes were sharp, and he caught her wrist.

“I don’t love her now” he insisted, giving up on the previous sentence, the vowel easier to manage and force out.

“You didn’t tell me-”

“To save you getting upset. I didn’t wuh-wuh-wuh…to save you feeling... ...feeling jealous. I thought you’d wuh-wuh-wuh...that you’d wuh-wuh-wuh-wuh - SHIT for fucks sake”. The curse exploded out of him with anger aimed at himself and the noise that tripped him up. He rose to his feet in one smooth motion, hardly aware he was doing it, both hands lifting to his head for a moment before one yanked out a knife. It was to secure himself, trying to find the easy fluidity with which he could throw the blades and transfer that to his mouth. It didn’t escape his notice though the way she flinched and, spinning the dagger between his fingers, he dropped to sit beside her and sought again to speak.

“I thought you’d stress over it and you’d be stressing over nothing, so I didn’t tell you”. Stress wasn’t in truth the word he meant or wanted to use but it worked at least - the hiss had never been his downfall.

Evie understood his decision for the word choice, even if she didn’t understand the sentiment or the decision

“If there was nothing to hide...you’d have told me”.

He could understand that way of thinking; Diego always found it suspicious himself when people were invasive during his ‘interrogations’ - but this had been nothing like that, it had been intended to protect Evie.

“I just...” she swallowed, struggling in a way that was different to Diego’s difficulty in this conversation as she tried to find the courage to speak the thoughts in her mind.

“I don’t...if you love her, why...I don’t understand why you...I’m not...” she pulled her knees up to her chest, her forehead dropping down to hide her face entirely between her hair, the hood and her kneecaps.

The urge to interrupt and correct her thinking was strong and Diego forced himself to resist as he fidgeted with the knife, twirling it around to diffuse the tension in his body. Few things aggravated him more than people jumping in and offering the words he was trying to say when he struggled, so he tried to avoid doing the same to Eve, to give her the space to get out what she wanted to say without him interrupting despite the fact there were so many things he wanted to say.

Hidden away it was easier for her to complete a sentence, but her cheeks burned with shame even as she forced the words out.

“I’ve never...I’m not somebody who...Why did you sleep with me if you love her?” Her voice breaking and full of tears.

If she had been somebody who slept around regularly maybe it wouldn’t have mattered. But Eve found it hard to open up, to reveal herself, and to have done so to somebody she thought understood that - and to have believe he cared...there was a pain behind her sternum and her stomach ached, her cheeks red hot and her mind eager to remind her that this was her own fault.

She should’ve known nobody like Diego would want somebody like her - nobody would ever want her. She was a mistake and a disgrace with her mother’s blood on her hands.

“I don’t love Eudora anymore” he insisted, shifting closer to her, the hand not fiddling with his knife trying to take find a way to touch her she’d accept; he avoided her hands and her back given the state she was in, sliding his fingers beneath her elbow, his thumb curling to hold onto her.

She shook her head slightly, unable to believe him and Diego tightened his grip slightly.

The fact she wouldn’t listen, and had clearly intended to flee the city, was causing his heart to thud. Stabbing the knife into the bench beside him he shifted to crouch before her again, strong hands reaching out to grab her ankles and pull her legs down so he could see her face.

She couldn’t leave. The idea of not having Evie was...his stomach twisted, his palms slick with sweat and his throat tightening.

“Don’t go”, the word strangled between his dry mouth and constricted airways.

“I have to - I can’t - I’m sorry. I should’ve known-” Her own tears cut her off, choking her. She should’ve known better, should never have let herself believe in something better, to have hope.

“You think nobody could care about you and you’re wrong. I do. And I never meant to worry you. Look at me Evie”. He lifted his hands to her face, fingers along her jaw so she couldn’t turn away, feeling the wetness of tears against his own damp skin.

His eyes were full of tears she could see that much, and seeing Diego hurting felt like all the pain and nausea inside her twisting and getting worse as a sob caught in her throat.

“I want you. Nobody else. Don’t leave me” he murmured. She had no words and he watched her, seeing the way she was struggling in herself. Moving he half stood, bracing himself with a knee on the bench beside her, as he leaned forward and captured her mouth in a kiss. Part of him expected - feared - that she’d resist, but as his mouth closed on hers - tasting salt and iron - she tilted her face upwards and kissed him back. Eve wished she could have had the strength in her heart but truthfully - she was desperate to keep him in her life. Hating herself she opened her mouth to him, sure of her own weakness and how pathetic she was, and knowing Patch was more worthy of him - she couldn’t blame him for preferring Eudora - and yet so alone and crazy for him specifically that she gave in anyway.

Breaking away from her he stroked his fingers down her face, searching her eyes.

“Come home with me”.

She nodded, even as fresh tears welled up in her eyes and the self-loathing made her mouth taste of bile. Even to him her agreement didn’t feel like a victory, this wasn’t resolved. At this moment though getting her home was a start and, stepping back, one hand yanked the knife out the wood and the other reached for her, waiting as she shook her fingers and cooled them before sliding her hand into his. Pulling her upright Diego pressed a kiss to her temple before leading her to the car.

At least he’d found her.

sad times continued

@lovinglydiego @klausbutgayer @reblogserpent @me125 @fatbottomedcurls @mrsdiegohargreeves @carryon-doctor-lock @rhymesmenagerie @eleventhdoctorsangel

#tua fanfic #diego hargreeves x oc #light in the dark #my writing #diego hargreeves fanfic

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themadamelibrarian · 5 years

Text

Sweater Weather - Part 1 of Incense and Peppermint

Written By: @themadamelibrarian & @thenanahunter Titlecard by @atc74 Rating: Mature Relationships: Gabriel (Supernatural)/Original Female Character(s) Characters: Gabriel, Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Dean in Hell, Visions in dreams, Christmas Fluff, Non-Graphic Smut Summary: All Gabriel wanted to do was protect her. To keep her from the machinations of Hell but what he wants and what his Father wills are two different things. Will he lose Anna because his family wants to tear itself apart?

Notes:

This story takes place in a universe where Bobby Singer adopted an orphaned girl after a hunt gone wrong. Years later, she gained the attention of our favorite candy loving Archangel turned Trickster.

We wanted to share this with you but didn't know where to start exactly, so why not in the middle. It doesn't take alot of background to follow this bit but if you want more of Anna and Gabriel let us know. We might be persuaded to write further adventures for them.

Share this story and show support for the creator!

Tagging: @copperseraphim @thenanahunter @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @idabbleincrazy @truxblooded

LINK TO AO3

Anna was excited. She was getting to spend the whole weekend with Gabriel in a snowy little mountain cabin. Just him and her, alone. No dad. No Winchesters. To top it all off, her dad was in approval of the whole trip. It gave her a warm feeling that made her think her dad had finally, maybe, started to accept her relationship with Gabe; even trust him enough to take her off alone, states away.

That was the only downside to this whole trip. To keep up the appearances that Gabriel was a human, she had to drive to the cabin. Bobby had tried multiple times to get her to take his truck in the case of bad weather, but she insisted that she had looked into the weather, and that her little Nova would do the trick. Boy was she pressing her luck.

About a mile away from the highway turn off, the snow had turned from light, fluffy, dream-like globs to a constant white curtain that blew with wind gusts that rocked her car. Even with her wipers turned on high speed, she was having difficulties seeing the road. It’s not that it bothered her to drive in the weather, it was worrying about what other idjit could be out with her.

With some skill, and a few encouraged rubs over the talisman, she finally pulled up to a quaint cabin. Letting out a sigh of relief, she turned off all the extras working on her car before cutting the engine. Looking to the porch, she mapped out a little plan to get herself and her bags inside with minimal exposure to the cold. Taking a few deep breaths, she launched out of the driver’s seat, skidded as she grabbed her duffel from the back, and quick waddled to the door to keep from falling down.

Finding a small amount of shelter under the porch roof, she stomped her boots against the wood to knock off the snow before she thought about heading inside.

The door whipped open to reveal Gabriel clad in a red terry cloth robe with white trim and holding a mug of hot chocolate, cookies and worried expression, “One more tug on that necklace and I was going to come for you.”

Anna looked up when the door opened, sighing as the warmth from inside flowed out to meet her exposed skin. A grin spread across her face at the sight of Gabriel. “Sorry to have worried you. If it makes you feel better, doing it was keeping me calm.” She stepped up to him, and picked up a star cookie. “Aren’t we festive? Do I have to give Santa a kiss to gain entry to the North Pole?”

“It would help,” Gabriel said as he bent down so she could reach and he’d have some control on not spilling any of the goodies.

“Well, anything I can do to help.” Anna leaned in and gave him a sweet kiss with a cold nose and chilly lips.

Gabriel gave and over exaggerated shudder as he broke the kiss and stepped aside, “Get in. You’re going to get frostbite on your ass if you keep standing out in the cold.”

“The cold never bothered me anyway,” she sang playfully as she quickly entered the cabin. Stepping off to the side, she dropped her bag, and started to shed her layers. It wasn’t until she went to hang up her coat that she noticed the greenery wrapped around the coat rack. “Did the cabin come decorated with winter stuff, or did you do that too?”

Turning around so she could lean against the wall to take off her boots, she froze when she saw the rest of the decor. Every inch of the cabin was decorated in what she could only describe as a tasteful Christmas wonderland. There was even a real Christmas tree sitting in the corner, decorated completely with lights and ornaments.

Anna turned to Gabriel wide eyed, and asked, “Did you do all of this?”

Gabriel beamed at her as he sat the plate he was holding on a nearby table, “I even made cookies. The human way. Do you know how irritating it is to bake sugar cookies? They burn like they’re made of matchsticks if you don’t watch them.”

Anna crossed to him quickly and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug. “I love it,” she murmured before kissing him, “I love that you would do something so human for me too. I’m sure your cookies will taste delicious.”

“And I’m glad that you love it, because you spilled your cocoa on my hand,” he said, squeezing the words out between the press of their lips as the beverage dripped off his fingers and onto the floor.

Gasping softly, she let him go, and stepped back to look at his hand holding the mug. “I’m sorry! Here, let me take it.” She carefully took the warm drink from his hand and held it between hers. She shivered a little at the sudden warmth. “Did it burn you?”

“Barely felt it,” he said, dropping a quick kiss to her cheek then snapping his fingers to clean up the mess, “Don’t worry about it, Cupcake. Just come in and get comfy.” He lead the way over to the couch where a box lay wrapped and adorned with ribbons.

Anna quickly pulled and wiggled her feet out of her boots before following Gabe to the couch. Spying the box, her looked to Gabe and raised an eyebrow at him. “Is this a present for me?” she asked.

“It is,” he admitted as he sat down, tugging his robe closed so he wouldn’t end up flashing her, “And I know we said no gifts but this is practical for this weekend.”

Studying him with scrunched eyes, she set the mug down and picked up the gift so she could sit down. “What is it?” she asked, giving the box a little shake.

Gabriel shook his head, refusing to spill the beans on the contents of box. “Open and all will be revealed,” he said as he snapped up a cup of eggnog for himself.

“Fine,” she whined playfully as she tugged off the ribbon. Once it was out of the way, she ripped off the paper, revealing the plain white box underneath. “Curiouser and curiouser.” Grasping the lid, she gave it a few jiggles until it came off. Anna set the lid to the side and pushed back the tissue paper. “Is this what I think it is?” she asked, looking to him with a small smile.

“Happy belated Christmas, Anna,” Gabriel said warmly.

Anna’s smile grew and she pulled the soft red material from the box, shaking it out a little so it would hang loose. “A Mrs. Claus robe. Thank you. This really will come in handy this weekend,” she leaned over and kissed Gabe’s cheek, “I can’t believe that you found a place that it was still snowing this time of year.” She refolded the robe to place back in the box, but more red fabric caught her eye.

Raising an eyebrow at Gabe, she set the robe aside, and pulled a silky piece of red fabric out of the box. Holding it up, she smirked at Gabe. “If I wear this, am I on the Naughty or Nice list?”

“Oh, the Nice list,” Gabriel said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“Will what I do in it land me on the Naughty list?” she teased with a wink, replacing the items back in the box.

“That’s all on you, Anastasia,” Gabriel drawled, “If you want to change, the bedroom is in the back, down the hall.”

Anna looked at Gabe, barely licking over her bottom lip. “Okay, Gabriel,” she drawled back to him, “I’ll be right back.” She rose from the couch and started toward the back, wiggling her tush as she stepped past him.

As soon as she was out of the room, he shut his eyes and took a deep breath. If he listened closely enough, he could hear the baying of the Hellhounds hundreds of miles away, hunting their prey. He wanted to shield her from all of the mess his family was creating, even if he welcomed it, an end to their constant bickering just like it was planned. So lost in his thoughts he didn’t hear Anna coming back until she was close enough to touch him.

Anna hummed a festive tune as she returned to the living room. She had decided to go ahead and change into the nighty, and cover up with the robe. The soft fur tickled her thighs lightly, adding to her brightened mood. “Well, how does it look?” she asked, standing in front of him.

Lifting his head, he looked startled from his thoughts for a moment before smiling, “Beautiful. Is it warm enough?”

“It actually is. I just need like a blanket for the rest of my legs, and I’ll be all toasty like a marshmallow,” she answered, returning to her seat next to him. She picked up her mug of hot cocoa and took a drink, now that it was more lukewarm than hot.

Pulling the blanket off the back of the couch, he draped it over their laps and pressed a kiss against her temple, “There. Safe and snug,” he said quietly.

Anna snuggled up to Gabe’s side and rested her head against his shoulder. “You didn’t have to make up our trip from Christmas. I was okay with waiting until this year to do something,” she said as she sought out his hand under the blanket, “But I love that you did this for me. Thank you.”

“I’d do anything for you, cupcake. You know that,” he said, lifting their joined hands and kissing her knuckles. “Just name it and if it doesn’t reorder the universe then it’s yours.”

.oOo.

They’d spent a lovely evening eating and sipping hot chocolate until a stray drop of the beverage on a lip led to soft kisses. Those kisses grew until there was a whirlwind of touches, sighs and sounds. Gabriel had to admit, after they were both spent, that having sex in front of the fire on a blankets was a bit cliche but he couldn’t think of any place he’d rather be. At least here in his arms, Anna was safe from Lilith and her infernal hounds.

Curled around Anna with her head pillowed on his chest, he gently ran his fingers over her spine, deep in thought and wondering how he would tell her that her friend was gone. It was half past midnight and Dean’s soul would be firmly in the clutches of the damned.

Anna had tried to stay awake, but the day had caught up to her. She’d fallen asleep minutes after the two of them wound up in each other’s arms, the warmth of Gabe and the fire sinking all the way down to her bones.

Her dreams were peaceful images of Gabe and her lounging on a beach in Greece, until they weren’t. She looked up when she heard a familiar voice crying out for help, large sunhat swirling almost comically as she looked for the source. She swore that it had sounded like Dean, but Dean shouting when Sam had gotten hurt. She was about to lay back down when a bloody image flashed next to her. Gasping, she jumped and sat up, pulling off her sunglasses to look again, but all she found was sand. She glanced back to Gabe, but he was gone, and she turned back to look for him, she wasn’t on the beach anymore. She was standing in a dark, putrid dungeon watching someone carving into a man on a slab. Inching closer, the man screamed again, and she gasped seeing it was Dean. The man behind the knife reached into a opening and ripped out what looked like a rib. Anna screamed.

In the cabin, Anna’s nightmare had caused her to whimper in her sleep, until like a switch she was screaming and struggling in Gabe’s arms.

“Anna!...Anastasia!” Gabriel all but shouted her name as he tried to keep a hold of her. He’d felt her sleeping mind shift darker toward a nightmare and had tried to soothe it away. But it had been stronger, sharper, and something he couldn’t penetrate. At least not without burning out her mind, so he was reduced to holding her gently and trying to coax her out of her state with words alone. Until she started shrieking.

Anna’s eyes flew open, but they were wild and unfocused. She ripped herself out of Gabe’s hold and scrambled to the couch, pressing herself as far into the corner as she could. She was still trapped in her nightmare. She stayed pinned against the corner of the dark room, horrified as Dean was tortured in front of her. When he was just a shell, she gasped as a sickening feeling washed over her room, and in a blink Dean was whole and breathing again. The barred door opened and invisible being began to tear at Dean’s body.

Both in dream and in the living, she let out a wail, and buried her head into her arms and knees. She slowly rocked, begging softly to wake up.

Gabriel watched with eyes wide as she cowered on the sofa. He could tell that she was awake but whatever was happening she was still witnessing. Reaching out for her with his grace he caught a glimpse of what she was seeing and knew in that moment she wasn’t having a nightmare. It was a vision.

Without another thought, he crawled up beside her and summoned his angel blade. “It’s okay, Anna. I’m here,” He said quietly as he cut open his finger enough for his vessel to bleed. Pulling back her hair, he started to draw a sigil on her neck in his own blood with quick precise movements and Enochian falling from his lips. If he couldn’t bring her out of the vision, he could block them. At least for a short time.

Anna gasped deeply, her hand snapping out to snap around Gabe’s arm, fingers digging in. She twisted to the side, her grip shaking as if the vision was trying to overcome the spell, but within seconds her whole body when lax, and she sagged forward. She was eerily quiet, save for her panting breaths, while she worked out if she was still dreaming, or if she was awake.

“It’s over, Anna,” Gabriel said calmly and gathered her up into his arms, “You’re safe and sound. Right here. I gotcha… I gotcha.”

Anna exhaled shakily before the tears started flowing. She clung to Gabe for dear life and buried her face into his chest. The nightmare had felt so real that it was like she was actually there. Dean’s screams still echoed in her ears and the smell of blood hung in her nose. “Soo..much...blood,” she muttered through her tears, “So..much..”

Gabriel pressed his cheek against the top of her head and squeezed his eyes shut as he gently rocked her. If what he saw was a fraction of what she experienced, he failed his purpose of keeping her from anything to do with this mess. “I know, Anna,” he sighed, “I didn’t know you were sensitive or that they’d exploit it. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Anna focused on Gabe to try to keep her grounded, her sobs now quieted to little gasps. She hadn’t really thought about what he was saying while trying to calm down, but now that her mind had cleared up enough to think, his words confused her. Pulling back to look at him, she looked between his eyes, wheels turning slowly. “What do you mean?” she rasped, “Why are you apologizing?”

Any other time he could have attempted to stand defiant and unwilling to reveal what had happened, even under her piercing gaze. That was before he’d watched her experience Hell and he was powerless to prevent it. He was once a General that commanded thousands of the Host who helped defeat Leviathan, but now a slip of a girl who’d given him love was able to bring him to heel with a look.

“This trip really was supposed to make up for Christmas. Just us and nothing to bother us,” He started quietly, taking her hand in his, “and if it kept you from their plans then it was a bonus.”

Anna sniffled and gently pulled out of his arms. She grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around her torso, suddenly aware of her nakedness. “Are you trying to tell me that...what I saw was real?” she asked in a quiet voice.

Gabriel was eerily quiet and nodded his head. “You’re not a prophet but you saw the pit like no living being has ever seen it.”

Anna ignored the news that prophets were a thing, and focused on the fact that she had dreamt Hell in real time. Was it a dream? A vision? She didn’t know. All she knew is that what she’d seen was terrifying, and hoped that it never happened again.

Pulling the blanket closer, she clutched the soft fabric in her fist. The images flashed across her mind. Meeting Gabe’s eye again, she took a shaky breath. “So Dean…”

“It couldn’t be stopped. He made a deal with a demon in exchange for Sam’s life,” Gabriel answered, squeezing her hand gently.

Anna shook her head and pulled away. “No, there must have been a mistake. I would have known about it. They would have told me. We would have been doing researched for the past 10 years on how to get him out of the deal. To save him. We would have done it already. I would have asked-” She cut herself off when her voice cracked.

Gabriel sank to the carpet when she pulled her hand away from him. This was the moment he’d been avoiding and he wished her own family would have had the balls to do this instead of leaving it in his hands. He was supposed to be a joy to her but now that was probably ruined forever. “A year, Anna. He only had a year,” Gabriel said, “I saw the deal written on his soul and there would have never been a way to break it. Not without killing Sam too.”

Anna stared at Gabriel and her face turned down into a frown. “You knew about it then...You’ve known for a whole year about this, and you didn’t even say anything to me!” she accused, “You don’t know that there couldn’t have been a way! I might have found a way to save him. To save both of them. But it’s too late! It’s too late because now Dean’s dead, and he’s in Hell being ripped apart, and there’s noth..nothing I can do to help.” Her eyes filled to the brim with hot, angry tears.

“One lone human against Heaven and Hell wouldn’t have made a difference.” Gabriel eased up onto the couch beside her. Looking deep into her eyes and he knew then she needed to know what had happened and what was to come, otherwise she’d just find out through these visions, “This whole thing was meant to happen since before any of you were born and they will make sure it comes to pass. Dean and Sam will be the means to bring about the end of the world. My brother Michael possessing Dean and Lucifer possessing Sam.”

Anna shook her head and turned away from him, not wanting to believe anything that he was saying. “Don’t...Gabriel, just stop...it’s..it’s not true,” she tried to convince herself, “That’s not going to happen to them. It can’t.”

“It can. It will.” he insist, “If Dean breaks the first seal it will be. And he will break that seal.” Gabriel dropped his forehead against her shoulder as his hands rested on her waist, voice dropping down to a whisper, “I tried, Anastasia. I tried to keep you safe from it. I love you and my family is so cruel. That’s why I didn’t tell you. Because how do I tell the woman that’s meant more to me than any other that my brothers are going to kill everything?”

“Don’t,” Anna hissed as stood and stepped away from him, stumbling a little over the tail of the blanket that was still stuck up on the couch. “Don’t you use your love for me as an excuse for..for lying to me.” This was all too much to have thrown at her at once. Her brain was overloaded and wanting to reject all of this new information. “If I mean so much to you, then you’d have told me all of this already. If your brothers are going to kill everything, aren’t I included in that everything? Or was your plan just to save me, and let everyone else I care about die?”

Gabriel snapped his fingers and dressing himself in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, his voice rising slightly in frustration, “Do you really think I planned all this out to get in your pants? That I wanted to love you?” he pushed himself off the couch and started pacing around, “I was perfectly happy being alone and in hiding. Then you had to summon me and be all adorable and sassy. But you don’t tell a little girl barely out of her Daddy’s arms that her world is going to go up in flames. Then you grew up and were happy and if I wanted make sure you were happy, then fine. I’m guilty. I didn’t tell you all my dirty secrets.” Gabriel shoved his hand through his hair, “I was praying to Father that it would never come to this. Not really. That He’d stop it and then you and I could… Now I don’t know what to do but hold on to what I have and hide again if I have to.”

Anna moved across the small space between them, and raised her hand, bringing it down across his face. She stayed stone faced through the pain that ran up into her wrist. She glared at him for a long moment before turning on her heel and stormed off to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Safe now that she was alone, she let the rest of her walls crumble, and she curled up under the covers, letting the tears and sobs flow freely. Feelings she hadn’t felt since prom night started to resurface, and she clutched her pillow closer.

He hadn’t expected her to hit him. It hurt his pride more than anything and left him stunned as he watched her retreat to the bedroom. Not until the door slamming against the frame did he break out of his stupor and look around. The cheerful fire and decorations seemed like a mockery now. He didn’t even bother to snap to make the tinsel and tree vanish like they’d never been there.

Standing in front of the bay window as the final blizzard of the year raged in the mountains around them, tears started to roll down his cheeks. There were three times in all of history that Gabriel had ever felt this low. The first he couldn’t even remember, not fully. He’d been too young. The second was the day that Lucifer was cast into the Pit and never to return. The third was today. He was sure that after today Anna would send him away and choose to face the Apocalypse or worse, try to stop it. Either way he’d lose her.

Anna’s eyes soon ran dry, and she was left with nothing but sound of the storm outside, and her own soft hiccups to block out her thoughts. They weren’t loud enough. Their argument replayed over in her mind, right up to when she’d slapped him, and stormed off. She was sure that this was the end for them. She’d finally regain her strength and she would go out to him, and he’d tell her that their relationship was just too much work, and he’d snap his fingers so she was back home.

It wasn’t until the clock on the mantle started to chime it’s announcement of the ungodly hour of the morning and the first rays of dawn started to appear that Gabriel wiped his cheeks dry. If she was going to leave him it’d be best for both of them if it was done quickly. Turning, he headed to the bedroom and decided against barging into the room, instead he knocked gently.

She was so tired, the events of the night weighing heavy on her eyelids, but every time she closed her eye, all she could see was Dean being tortured and she was awake again. The knock on the door shocked her out of her current state of half-slumber, and she sat up slowly. This was it. He was going to come in and tell her to leave and never call for him again. “Hold on,” she called out, voice rough. She quickly dressed in the pajamas she’d brought with her and returned to the bed. “Come in.”

Gabriel eased into the room and shut the door behind him. Walking across the room to the bed, he stood at the foot with his hands stuffed in his pockets, “I’ve been doing some thinking and after everything that’s happened I’ll understand if you want to go home. I’ll miss you and I won’t stop caring about you but if you want me to stay away, I’ll respect your choice. It’s the least I can do.”

Anna watched him enter room, but turned her eyes to her lap as he spoke, not wanting to look at him when he told her to get out. But that didn’t quite happen. Finally turning her gaze up to meet his, she looked between his eyes, as if trying to find the answer to her unspoken question in them. “Do you want me to go home?” she asked.

“No,” he answered simply before sitting on the edge of the bed, “I think that’s how I got us in this mess. I didn’t want to let you go, but I won’t stop you if it’s what you really want.”

She didn’t move from her spot when he sat down, but they were now close. Knee to thigh close. “I don’t want to,” she said, then confirmed, “I don’t want to leave you.”

Gabriel turned his head and studied her for a moment, looking for some indication that she didn’t mean what she said. “Say it again?” he asked softly.

Anna reached out and placed her hand on his knee. “I don’t want to leave you, Gabriel,” she repeated, “I love you too much to ever want to leave.” She raised her hand and gently brushed her fingers over the cheek that she’d struck. You’d never know she’d done it if it wasn’t for the small scratch across his cheekbone. “I’m sorry for hitting you. I shouldn’t have ever done it.”

“I’ve been slapped before. Maybe for more fun reasons, but… “ Gabriel said with a wane smile, “At least you didn’t stab me.”

“I still shouldn’t have done it. I even scratched you,” she protested, starting to look a little distraught.

Gabriel lifted his hand to touch his cheek. Pulling his finger away he saw a few flakes of dried blood. He hadn’t even noticed it’d happened otherwise he would have healed it by now. Looking up he saw her looking miserable for such a small injury. Leaning forward and kissing the end of her nose, he pulled her into his lap as the scratch healed itself.

Anna let her hands rest against his shoulders and examined the spot where the scratch had been. She brushed away the leftover small flakes of dried blood before leaning in and kissing the spot. She placed a few more kissed on his cheek before wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her forehead against his shoulder. “I’m sorry that I got so upset…”

“You saw Hell itself and then I laid a bunch on you,” Gabriel whispered to her and kissed her temple.

Anna pulled back to look at him, she spoke, “I do have something I want to say, but I don’t want you to interrupt me.”

“Okay,” he said slowly.

She pulled his hands so they rested in front of her, and held them in hers. “Gabriel, no matter what happens between us, I want you to know that I’ll always love you, and that I’ll never leave you unless you wish it. I think that maybe we should consider discussing some of our darker secrets so that arguments like the one we had won’t happen again.” She brought his hands up to place kisses on his knuckles.

Gabriel took a deep breath and nodded, “I’ll agree to that but my stories might take a long time to tell.”

Anna gave his hands a reassuring squeeze. “I still want to hear about them. To know more about you,” she smiled softly up at him.

“Alright,” Gabriel agreed, “But you need to get some sleep first. It’s been a really long night.”

At the mention of sleep, her smile wavered. “I'm fine. I took a couple short naps earlier,” she fibbed.

Knowing her well enough to tell when she was covering up, Gabriel brushed the hair from her face as he asked, “Having flashbacks?”

She looked down to the collar of his shirt and nodded, then shrugged. “I can't stop seeing it,” she admitted, “And I'm afraid of what else I'm going to see when I do fall asleep. He…” Anna clenched her jaw and shook her head a little. “I can't fall asleep anyway. I keep waking myself up.”

“Lay down with me anyway,” Gabriel said as he pulled off his t-shirt, “Resting is better than nothing.”

Anna nodded and moved off of his lap. She scooted to the middle of the bed and slipped under the blanket. She'd suddenly gotten a chill, and she blamed the storm outside. Shuffling down, she settled into the pillows and waited for him to join her.

He turned off the bedside lamp and crawled into the bed. Gathering her up into his arms, he made sure that they were both well covered before using his grace to block out the the memory of her vision and hopefully stop her from receiving any new images. Once they were settled, he confessed one of the thoughts he’d had while staring at the snow, “I’ll take you and your father to Asgard if need be. You’ll be safe. And then you and me could… we could be together.”

Being back in his arms this way was a better comfort than just the blanket could provide. She could already feel her eyes growing heavy from her exhaustion. When she closed her eyes, there were no horrid images, just sweet darkness.

Hearing him speak, she forced herself to stay awake long enough to hear what he had to say. Taking his hand and twining their fingers together between them, she squeezed his fingers. “Will we get to meet Thor and Odin?” the barest of teasing smiles on her lips.

“Yes, but they don’t look anything like they do in the movies,” Gabriel snorted, “I’m the cutest out of the lot of them.”

She hummed her amusement. “I don't doubt that for a second,” she said, her speech starting to trail off at the end, “Are there any single older women up there?”

“A few, but if you’re asking for yourself, the Valkyrie will love you but they’ll have to fight me for a night with you,” Gabriel teased, “I don’t share easily.”

Anna smiled and tapped his fingers. “While that seems like an interesting time, I meant for my dad.”

“Valkyries would eat him up. Then again, he might like it.” Gabriel pressed a kiss to the back of her head, “Try to sleep, Anastasia. We can fix your Dad up later.”

Anna chuckled and large yawn caught her off guard. “Okay. Sounds good to me,” she agreed. Closing her eyes once again she whispered, “Night Gabby.”

Even though she couldn’t see them, Gabriel draped his wings over her and held on tight, determined to protect her even from the nightmares in her head, “Sleep well, Cupcake. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Anna finally allowed herself to get some sleep, knowing she was safe in Gabe's arms. Her darkness shifted into a peaceful dream about the two of them on a road trip through purple fields of lavender.

#Madamelibrarian writing with friends #Supernatural #Fanfiction #spn fanfic #Gabriel (Supernatural)/Original Female Character(s)#Gabriel #original female character

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aeinstong · 2 years

Text

Fic Rec Masterlist

By me

This is just a giant masterlist of all the fics that I liked so have fun!

Most of these will be on ao3 and I will provide links. If its on wattpad I’ll l specify that because I know some people have a vendetta against wattpad for some reason. (I’ll still provide a link)

I try to mention if there's heavy smut or very explicit smut but sometimes I forget so my apologies if I lack to mention/give you a warning beforehand

Let Me Feel Your Heartbeat

Summary: fluff. the most fluffy cuddles there ever were. plus mentioned water balloon fights.

betaed by the amazing and wonderful aeinstong on tumblr

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationships: Gabriel/Dean Winchester

Words: 772

Chapters: 1/1

Author: @soundtrack-on-shuffle :{D (go show them some love)

Link: https://soundtrack-on-shuffle.tumblr.com/post/679787382448553984/let-me-feel-your-heartbeat (on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/37972273 (on ao3)

Promises of a Sacrificial Lamb

Summary: In a world where Katniss Everdeen never volunteers for the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games and the Second Rebellion is nothing but a hopeless wish for the people of Panem, the sick and twisted annual killing event keeps returning to take away their young ones for the Capitol’s entertainment.

It’s the year of the Hundredth Hunger Games, and the fourth Quarter Quell. This year, as a harsh reminder of the men—both young and old—who served in the First Rebellion against the Capitol, only males will be reaped for the hundredth anniversary of the Hunger Games.

While this comes as a relief for the women of Panem, it does not bode well for young Dean Winchester, a poor farm boy from District 9 who is only able to supply his struggling family with food through his hard work and voluntary tesserae. With his name in the reaping ball twenty-five times at age sixteen and the chances of being reaped doubled due to the circumstances of the Quarter Quell, things are not looking up for him and his family.

And the odds are most certainly not in his favor.

Fandoms: Supernatural, The Hunger Games (Movies), Hunger Games Trilogy- Suzanne Collins

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 148,705

Chapters: 38/38

Author: mistyeyedjacklyn

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24096046

Seek to Know You Better

Summary: Dean and Cas, a long stretch of highway, and 36 questions empirically designed to make two people fall in love.

As if they weren’t already.

Fandoms: Supernatural

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester (it does include Sam Winchester/ Eileen Leahy but it wasn’t put in the tags)

Words: 32,762

Chapters: 9/9

Author: ahurston

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26869954

Thunk

Summary: Sam's had enough and decides to give Dean a taste of his own medicine.

Fandoms: Supernatural

Relationships: Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 1,444

Chapters: 1/1

Author: badgerempress

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/576120

Personal Space

Summary: Dean is an astronaut, and he definitely chose the career so that he could help move humanity forward, not just because he didn’t want to sit in an office, thank-you-very-much.

Becoming the first human to set foot on Mars was never part of his five-year plan, but he loved his job and couldn’t say no when the opportunity arose.

He had spent plenty of time thinking about what he was risking never seeing again if something went wrong; his brother, brother-in-law, and the adorable kid they were adopting, not to mention his friends, his car, and pie.

What he hadn’t considered was what, or who, he might find when he actually got there.

Fandoms: Supernatural

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam WInchester

Words: 40,795

Chapters: 13/13

Author: MalMuses

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16684189/chapters/39125878

okay, cupid.

Summary: "The dating thing?" Dean frowns. "Online dating is for weirdos. Robots. Dudes hanging out in their basements."

"You hang out in your basement."

“I have an air hockey table down there,” Dean says, icily.

Fandoms: Supernatural

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 4,591

Chapters: 1/1

Author: orange_crushed

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1177875

Something On Your Mind?

Summary: Sam and Dean are cursed to have personifications of their minds following them around. That's shouldn't be too bad of a problem. Just another day for the Winchesters. Except for the part where their minds speak every single thought Sam and Dean have.

Destiel and a little bit of Sabriel.

Fandoms: Supernatural

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Words: 8,307

Chapters: 1/1

Author: esompthin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5799199

Heat Waves

Summary: Dream has always held a gentle admiration for George, but when their nuanced friendship trickles into his sleeping mind, he awakens to a new world of conflicting emotions and longing. Lost in the midst of a heat wave, he continuously listens to a song that works itself in to the very core of his heartache. Floridian nights, unsent messages, spiraling infatuation, and terrible, terrible weather.

A breath of frustration escapes George’s lips. “I don’t do that.”

“You do. It’s okay,” Dream says. He feels pinpricks of warmth building in his chest. The words rise up faster than he can temper, laced with soft honey, “you’re so cute.”

The call falls silent.

They heard it. The affection in the tone of his voice, different than usual, no trace of humor. The way it came from the hearth below his heart, glowing with secrecy and shame—for George, and George only. They had to have heard it.

inspired by the song "heat waves" by glass animals

Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF

Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)

Words: 51,840

Chapters: 12/12

Author: tbhyourelame

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26559139

Starstruck

Summary: From the outside Castiel Novak looks like a regular guy: a good job, two teenage kids, a nice house and a crappy car he’s way too attached to.

But there’s one thing no one knows about him: that, over twenty years ago, he used to live next to none other than Dean Winchester – back then a brash and loud-mouthed boy and nowadays a huge movie star and Hollywood’s sweetheart.

Castiel never bothered to tell anyone about his childhood friend because frankly, who would believe him? Probably even Dean himself already forgot about his former awkward and weird neighbor, so Castiel seriously doesn’t see any point in mentioning the whole thing ever.

But then an interview on national TV happens where Dean reveals way more about his past than ever before … and Castiel - as well as the rest of the world - suddenly realizes that he left a much bigger impact on Dean’s life than he originally thought.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 203,515

Chapters: 50/50

Author: peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim)

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22791982

Meet Cute

Summary: In a world where the first words your soulmate will say to you get inscribed on your wrist at 16, knowing if you've met "the one" should be easy. But when is Dean Winchester's life ever that?

Because the thing is, it's the first words they say to you face-to-face that count--not over text message or video chat or any of the ways he's been communicating with Cas since they met online.

The night before they are supposed to see each other in-person for the first time, his mind won't shut off--too busy retracing the four words on his skin over and over again that read, "What you got there?"

It didn’t sound like something Cas would say—nor did the child-like scrawl it was written in look like he imagined Cas’s handwriting. But how could it possibly be anybody else?

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 10,470

Chapters: 4/4

Author: GatesKeeper

Link: archiveofourown.org/works/22384300

Close to Nowhere

Summary: “I will kill you in your sleep,” Louis threatened as he quickly stepped out of his jeans.

“I don’t think that would work very well baby, seeing as you talk to dead people all the time.”

“I’ll kill you in your sleep and ignore your ghost. And don’t call me that.”

(Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.)

Fandom: One Direction

Relationship: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Words: Unknown (cause wattpad y’know)

Chapters: 17/17

Author: angelichl

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/189114279

Im sorry if this one is bad I haven’t read it in a year and it says the author made changes so idk if im setting you up (Ill read it again at some point so that I dont send you into a trap but if it helps at all Ive read this over four times in the past and loved it every time I’ve read it)

Chester

Summary: At the bottom of the box was a lumpy something wrapped in tissue. He frowned and pulled it out, turning it over in his hands before tearing the wrapping free.

It turned out to be a battered stuffed clown fish, orange and white, and a little dirty and ragged - obviously well loved. Dean sat down on his cot, unfolding the note carefully printed in blocky letters on My Little Pony stationery.

Dear Soldier, (he didn’t even correct it that time)

I’m sorry you have to miss Christmas with your family. This is Chester. He’s my best friend and he keeps me safe from monsters. But I think you need to be safe more, so I’m sending him to you. Please take good care of him.

Love,

Claire Novak

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester

Words: 2,313

Chapters: 1/1

Author: WinJennster

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4899973

dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda

Summary: Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.

In universe, where nobody dies and Cas and Dean get domestic and Dean doesn't realize the mental hoola-hoops he's causing his coworkers to work through.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 4,106

Chapters: 1/1

Author: cowboydeanwinchester

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28970742

Impala67

Summary: Mr.Novak's students find out that he is married to famous youtuber, Dean Winchester.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 2,133

Chapters: 1/1

Author: vAnd3lisM

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11025597

The Perks Of Dean Winchester

Summary: "Wanna tell the people what you're cookin', Cas?" Dean made sure to zoom the camera in on his roommate's face, which was currently set in a scowl.

"No. Stop bothering me while I'm trying to cook."

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 1,471

Chapters: 2/2

Author: manonwrites

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11471889

I Knead You

Summary: Dean overhears Cas in the kitchen... just read it, I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 828

Chapters: 1/1

Author: Swlfangirl

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2382572

Old Acquaintances

Summary: "No," Sam says into the pillow. "I still don't want to make eggnog with you."

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester (slight cas/dean but its not in the tags)

Words: 1,339

Chapters: 1/1

Author: entanglednow

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/149148

True Colors

Summary: The world is black and white until you touch your soulmate. Then, you can see colors.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester (minor)

Words: 1,019

Chapters: 1/1

Author: TempestHeart

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2444435

Me To Blue

Summary: AU in which soulmates are attracted to the colour of their soulmate's eyes. Castiel has been attracted to green his entire life.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Words: 1,191

Chapters: 1/1

Author: authordean

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2567240

You Can Say Anything With Flowers (Even That)

Summary: From this prompt from Styx_in_the_mud over on tumblr:

Person A owns a flower shop and person B comes storming in one day, slaps 20 bucks on the counter and says “How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?”

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Words: 1,053

Chapters: 1/1

Author: ThroughTheTulips

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7165805

Sharing the Rain Dog

Summary: When some asshole hits a dog with his car and drives off, the first two people on the scene are Dean and Castiel. Castiel's an FBI agent with a plane to catch, and he doesn't have time to take the dog to the vet. Dean's a musician, and he doesn't have the money. An agreement is reached: Dean goes, Castiel pays, and they'll exchange details and meet again to work things out. But who gets the dog? Sooner or later they're going to realise that having shared custody of one pitbull isn't ideal. She needs one home, not two. One stable, loving home…

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 19,837

Chapters: 1/1

Author: almaasi

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4458296

Watch your hands, Watch your mouth

Summary: Sam was just doomed to spend his life with 'Are you fucking sorry?!' marked on his skin. Really, it wasn't fair.

As it turns out, the explanation isn't so bad.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, John Winchester/Mary Winchester

Words: 2,471

Chapters: 1/1

Author: RawrSquared

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3597228

Backstreet Cafe

Summary: Meg hires a guitarist for Castiel’s new cafe without telling him, and it turns out to be one Dean Winchester. The very same Dean who had been Castiel’s desperate high school crush.

In which Dean is a flirt, Castiel is oblivious, and Meg uses the power of cheesy love songs in the attempt to force them together.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 7,594

Chapters: 1/1

Author: destielfluffnstuff

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13258347

Love Blossom

Summary: The entire family comes together for John's birthday dinner, and Jess believes that Dean's college roommate-turned-best friend Cas just may also be his adorable boyfriend. In which Sam has a girl crush on Cas, Dean's the older brother Jess never had, John is far from a douche, Mary is wonderful, and everyone is disgustingly happy.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester

Words: 2,341

Chapters: 1/1

Author: youaresunlight

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2145936

"I Need a Favor

Summary: Sam agrees to drive a stranger across the country to join Cas while their brother is in the hospital, only to find out that his new road trip companion isn't so much a stranger as the most haunting one night stand of his life.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 15,722

Chapters: 6/6

Author: alas_horatio

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/747515/chapters/1394278

Forever And Always

Summary: Dean and Castiel have been keeping their relationship a secret due to Dean's father being homophobic. When Castiel's mother mentions her son's "boyfriend" though, John gets suspicious.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 6,179

Chapters: 1/1

Author: ChocolateKid

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9848471

Track to Happiness

Summary: Castiel doesn't have children of his own, so perhaps it's a little strange that the highlight of his day has become watching a little girl learn to ride her bicycle in his driveway, but between a nasty break-up, a move to a new city, and the pandemic, there hasn’t been much to be happy about lately.

When he realizes the little bike-rider and her dad never fail to put a smile on his face, he decides to do something to return the favor, and inadvertently finds himself face-to-face with the most attractive man he's ever laid eyes on.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Bela Talbot/Dean Winchester (past)

Words: 17,235

Chapters: 3/3

Author: tricia_16

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26366608/chapters/64219471

After Hours

Summary: Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are the bane of each other's existences. Unfortunately, they're already in love--even if they aren't completely aware of this minor detail.

[A "You've Got Mail" AU]

Fandom: One Direction

Relationship: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik

Words: 26,799

Chapters: 1/1

Author: Velvetoscar

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3237521

The Manny Diaries

Summary: "Dean has always thought kids were great in an abstract kind of way- he enjoys monkeying around with them, and they- for who knows what reason- like him, but Madeline Meyer stole his heart on a rainy Friday afternoon when she solemnly marched over to him, plopped herself down next to him and told him that Miss Moore had told her that Dean knew why cars worked and she wanted to know, too."

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester

Words: 4,087

Chapters: 1/1

Author: twentysomething

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154461

Return To You

Summary: Dean and Cas are childhood best friends who lost touch when Cas moved away. Years later, through a chance encounter, they find their way back - just in time for Christmas.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 3,224

Chapters: 1/1

Author: youaresunlight

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5486738

Luminosity

Summary: The vamp nest has been wiped out and Dean is covered in blood splatters and sweat. Cas, of course, looks perfectly unruffled in the passenger seat of the Impala. With any luck, they'll beat the rain so Dean can catch a few hours of sleep in the motel room before they head back to the bunker.

Dean should know better than to test his luck by now.

But maybe a bit of bad weather is exactly what he needs.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 3,789

Chapters: 1/1

Author: CadenceImperfect

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33591241

The Lists

Summary: Sam is doing laundry when he discovers two lists, one in the pocket of Dean's pants and one in the pocket of Castiel's.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 1,086

Chapters: 1/1

Author: Bookkbaby

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559738

Tell Me (The Lists Pt 2)

Summary: Dean discovers a List in his pocket, but it isn't his.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 1,740

Chapters: 1/1

Author: Bookkbaby

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559744

My Life is a Movie

Summary: It started out a simple case. Then it got complicated. And thank you very much, but Dean Winchester does NOT appreciate his life having a soundtrack like a freaking chick flick, even it's starting to resemble one.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Ruby/Sam Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Words: 28,890

Chapters: 4/4

Author: Tenoko1

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/511203/chapters/900882

Twelve Days Of Destiel

Summary: Twelve self-contained Christmas fics, all written for prompts chosen through a contest I ran on Tumblr. I'll post one fic per day (each as a new chapter) until the twenty-fifth. Ratings will vary and the tags will be updated every day to reflect the added fic.

Day 1: Bookstore AU (Rating - General) Day 2: Kid Fic (Rating - General) Day 3: Boarding School AU, Friends to Lovers (Rating - Teen) Day 4: Bunker Fic (Rating - Explicit) Day 5: Bakery AU (Rating - General) Day 6: Subway AU (Rating - Teen) Day 7: Five Christmases (Rating - Teen) Day 8: College AU, Holiday Party (Rating - Teen) Day 9: Bunker Fic, Human Cas' First Christmas (Rating - General) Day 10: High School AU (Rating - General) Day 11: Snowstorm AU (Rating - General) Day 12: Wing Fic (Rating - Teen)

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 21,725

Chapters: 12/12

Author: youaresunlight

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2773052/chapters/6219233

An Exercise In 'Worthless'

Summary: "I mean, you’re–” He gestures at Cas, in his neat oxford shirt and nice pants. “–and I’m a high school dropout who tattoos for a living.”

Wherein Dean makes a hefty living as a tattoo artist who owns the space next to Gabriel's cafe. Sam attends the local university. When Gabe's cousin comes to live with him while starting grad school at Sam's university, Dean thinks for sure that all his negative karma's coming to bite him in the ass because Cas clearly has a thing for Sam. No one would ever choose him over Sam. That's just logic.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Words: 26,547

Chapters: 1/1

Author: glassedplanets

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535676

Blind Dates Do Not Mix Well With Kiss Cams

Summary: Castiel was set up on a blind date with Zachariah. There's a basketball game, a kiss cam, and rejections. Dean is there to save the day.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Zachariah (brief)

Words: 2,361

Chapters: 1/1

Author: Arya3610

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12849162

something old, something new

Summary: Dean's best friend, incidentally the guy he's been in love with for almost a decade, is supposed to be getting married in two months. He's done a perfectly good job of keeping his feelings hidden. That is, until Cas' fiance decides to dump him.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Arthur Ketch (past)

Words: 2,306

Chapters: 1/1

Author: haleofStilesheart

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12406638

Of Flowers and Flours

Summary: Castiel owns a floral shop, Dean owns a bakery.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 4,217

Chapters: 1/1

Author: lemonsorbae

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2161146

I'm Okay With That

Summary: "Look Cas, I'm sorry, okay? Really. I never meant for you to find out, or make you uncomfortable. We can just pretend this whole thing never happened."

"Seriously? Pretend that I didn't just learn you've been in love with me for fourteen years?"

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 6,221

Chapters: 3/3

Author: Desirae

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3978748/chapters/8929414

Deja Vu

Summary: They appeared in a flash of light, falling from the ceiling and landing in a groaning heap of limbs and cloth on the kitschy motel carpet.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Adam Milligan/Samandriel

Words: 3,128

Chapters: 2/2

Author: Try2CatchMe

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674616/chapters/1234574

All I Want (is to solve your puzzle)

Summary: Gabriel was cool, friends everywhere he went, parties every weekend if he wanted to go. People came to him, wanted his attention, craved his approval.

But there was one person who wasn’t interested in him at all. Wasn’t interested in anything, it seemed like, except for sitting by himself and reading books more suited to college professors and like, priests, instead of teenagers.

So, of course, Gabriel was totally fascinated by Sam Winchester.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Words: 5,300

Chapters: 1/1

Author: airspaniel

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/190368

Break-in

Summary: Dean didn’t know what possessed him to get in the Impala and drive across the country. Or maybe he did, but he was too much of a chickenshit to admit it. It certainly hadn’t been an easy trip. Stanford was thousands of miles away from Lawrence. Twenty-six hours of drive-time if you followed the speed limit (which he didn’t). So like it or not, ending up five states away at his best friend’s doorstep at 1am was not something he could brush off as an accident, and that scared him.

***

Dean Winchester leaves Lawrence on a whim to go to visit his childhood best friend, Castiel Novak, at Stanford. He breaks in, intending to make this a surprise visit. but things don’t quite go as planned when Castiel initially mistakes him for an intruder.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 2,036

Chapters: 1/1

Author: habitatfordeanwinchester

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3724810

only if for a night

Summary: Castiel is captured by a djinn. Dean goes slightly crazy, and Cas discovers a thing or two about himself.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 11,393

Chapters: 1/1

Author: microcomets

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/826303

Hindsight

Summary: Lisa sees Dean again for the first time in over a decade.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel

Words: 1,359

Chapters: 1/1

Author: GatesKeeper

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22745620

Jack to the Future

Summary: When Jack accidentally travels back in time, meeting younger versions of Dean and Cas, Dean learns some things about their future selves that just can’t be true…can they?

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 3,883

Chapters: 1/1

Author: gothyringwald

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30098787

Incredibly Single & Ready to Mingle

Summary: Sam uses Facebook like the social media junkie he is. He's befriended literally every person he's ever had a conversation with since he got an account, which means that approximately—Dean checks—eight hours ago, he shared this horrible photo with something in the vicinity of nine hundred people. The caption below the picture reads “incredibly single & ready to mingle ;)” and roughly half of them have liked it.

Dean has never been so embarrassed in his life.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 3,682

Chapters: 1/1

Author: imogenbynight

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2358020

One Sick Family Dinner

Summary: ”So... is Dean sick or something?” John glanced at Sam before sliding his eyes back to the road. ”I mean, he usually picks me up whether I ask for it or not,” Sam continued, ”y'know, doing the over-excited dog routine of his?”

John's brows scrunched at the statement, setting off some louder alarm bells in Sam's head. ”That boy ain't sick as far as I know, just said he had some short-notice obligation at work and took off. Who knows, there haven't been any fires today so the department should be just on stand-by right now. He's not officially on shift so my guess is some leftover paperwork. Wouldn't be the first time, who raised him that lazy I'll never know.”

Mary is sick of worry, Dean is sick of nosy family members, Sam is sick of being confused off his ass and John just wonders why this had to happen to him. There might also be a few Singer-Harvelles casually snooping around.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester

Words: 3,411

Chapters: 1/1

Author: Larastiel

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1296787

We Found Each Other

Summary: Gabriel was born without a soulmark. He didn't think he would ever meet his soulmate until Sam rushed into the coffee shop he worked at.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester (background)

Words: 2,718

Chapters: 1/1

Author: squirrel_and_moose

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4796816

so when you look at me, you better look hard and look twice

Summary: or 8 different ways people find out about Reid's sexuality.

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Relationship: Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid, Stephen Gideon/Spencer Reid (past), Lila Archer/Spencer Reid (past)

Words: 7,216

Chapters: 1/1

Author: buckybunnyteeth

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15286275

let's stop, my baby, let's stop running from us

Summary: Luke isn't interested in joining any team. He needs the chase, he needs to keep running.

Then he meets Spencer Reid. And he stops dead in his tracks.

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Relationship: Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid

Words: 5,657

Chapters: 1/1

Author: buckybunnyteeth

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13439283

The Crossroads Demon in the Trenchcoat

Summary: John sees his son kissing a man in the woods. Obviously, there's only one answer:

Dean made a crossroads deal.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak, Bobby Singer/Rufus Turner

Words: 9,382

Chapters: 1/1

Author: ughdotcom

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36665260

The Nuances in Flirting

Summary: Based on the tumblr prompt: “HS AU with popular!Dean and popular!Cas, they're those two annoying guys who make funny (but also obnoxious) comments in every single class, and make stupid, flirtatious remarks to each other like "Cas looks pretty hot today guys" or "I'm totally dating Dean, everyone" etc. Only thing is, they're secretly in love, but neither will admit it."

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 3,144

Chapters: 1/1

Author: K_K_TiBal

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11633955

This is easily one of my top ten fics

The Allure of Hidden Lace *notable smut*

Summary: Now that they've got the bunker, an actual home to live in and a place to cultivate comfort, Dean finds himself creating routines, exprimenting in the kitchen, and enjoying life off the road. He also finds that it's pretty impossible to escape the watchful eye of a former angel who seems pretty goddamned observant.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 9,455

Chapters: 1/1

Author: Dangerousnotbroken

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7302865

Trade

Summary: I don't want your body," Dean hisses, and then stomps off to calm down.

The body-swap-soulmates AU.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 2,312

Chapters: 1/1

Author: Cloudnine101

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5072299

The Bet

Summary: Cas and Dean had been best friends forever. In sixth grade Cas realized he had a crush on his best friend. Dean was ok with it though. He wasn't willing to give up his best friend over something as silly as a crush. In seventh grade, while passing notes in class and fooling around, Cas make a bet with Dean. He bets him $20 that one day they'll be married. Dean scoffs at the very idea. No way would he marry Cas! Always up for a challenge, Dean accepts the bet.

It's game on.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 13,199

Chapters: 11/11

Author: thatwriterlady

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6475051/chapters/14821405

Hypothetically *notable smut*

Summary: Dean wonders aloud who would be the top if he and his best friend Castiel were in a relationship. It's a completely hypothetical question, until it's not.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 3,507

Chapters: 1/1

Author: StarlightDragon

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4061950

Shopping for Love

Summary: Sam Winchester is working his way through college as a cashier at a supermarket. Fun stuff, he knows. One day, a dorky guy comes in and decides to ask Sam for advice on how to woo his best friend into being his boyfriend. (Of course, Sam doesn't know that this guy happens to be the roommate of his somewhat estranged brother, Dean. But what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?)

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Words: 20,088

Chapters: 9/9

Author: samwisewinchester

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13595205/chapters/31208493

omni gladio ancipiti

Summary: The archangel Gabriel had never chosen a Bearer for his sword. Until now.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester, castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 10,892

Chapters: 1/1

Author: lifevolutionary

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/102021

What's Between Us

Summary: While they're both musicians, Dean Winchester and Castiel couldn’t be more different.

Dean regularly performs to sold-out stadiums, graces the covers of entertainment magazines, and writes Grammy-winning albums. He’s been a staple of the music scene since he was sixteen, a veteran of the industry at barely twenty-seven.

Castiel can hardly fill a 700-capacity theater and makes music alone in his bedroom at two in the morning when he can’t sleep.

So when Dean reaches out over email, asking to cover one of Castiel’s songs at one of the biggest shows of his tour, Castiel can hardly say no. And when Dean keeps talking to him, it’s not like Castiel expects to become friends - or fall for the man behind the music he’s been listening to for years.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dorothy Baum/Charlie Bradbury

Words: 66,535

Chapters: 8/8

Author: goldenraeofsun

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35977786/chapters/89688277

The Pie Casualties of 2015

Summary: Castiel never expected to see his mother get nailed in the face with a brownie, but sometimes miracles happen.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 2,099

Chapters: 1/1

Author: orphan_account :(

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4096156

Peace And Good Luck To All Men

Summary: Christmas in the Milton household was difficult enough without the added complication of guests- and if Luke and Gabriel placing bets on who can get with Sam first wasn’t bad enough, then Cas developing a ridiculous crush on his sister’s boyfriend definitely is.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester (main pairing) , Anna Milton/Dean Winchester (past-ish/not endgame), Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Lucifer/Sam Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester

Words: 31,367

Chapters: 1/1

Author: KismetJeska

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/608365

Break The Ice

Summary: Sam’s six-year-old son is obsessed with hockey, and Dean (the world’s coolest uncle) wants to get him a brand new stick for Christmas. Dean, however, is unfamiliar with the sport and feels kind of lost when he goes to the store, until he’s offered help from a handsome stranger, who seems to know a thing or two about hockey.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 2,796

Chapters: 1/1

Author: youaresunlight (can you tell I like this author?)

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13105017

Fly With Me

Summary: Dean only goes to watch the Men’s Half-Pipe Finals because Alfie asks him to – because the kid’s the baby of the Figure Skating Team and a huge snowboarding fan and Dean can’t say ‘no.’

It’s not until he meets the charming gold medalist that Dean thinks, maybe, he made the right choice.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 4,804

Chapters: 1/1

Author: youaresunlight

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14251158

When Charlie Met Cas

Summary: Charlie is back in all her glory. The Winchesters have showed up on her doorstep and she’s making the best of it the only way she knows how. By being the little sister Dean never wanted and shipping the shit out of Destiel.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 24,666

Chapters: 6/6

Author: riseofthefallenone

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/551330/chapters/982306

Collapsed Rainbows

Summary: Dean wakes up on his 18th birthday, giddy and a little scared, and rips his blanket off of himself to start searching his hands for the soulmark that is supposed to appear somewhere on his body today. Nothing. His arms. Nothing. Shoulders, upper body, legs. Nothing.

It’s okay, he tells himself, don’t panic yet.

But then he rushes to the bathroom and braces himself on the edge of the sink to look up into the mirror, and it’s right there. Black streaks and blotches along the edge of his jaw, dark like ink. Marks like the imprints of knuckles meeting Dean’s chin.

It takes him a little while to fully realizes what this means. That his soulmark is there, for everyone to see, right on his face, impossible to hide. That his soulmate’s first touch will be a punch to Dean’s face.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 6,125

Chapters: 1/1

Author: suckerfordeansfreckles

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17289011

You and Your Husband

Summary: “I know how that is. Husbands: can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em. Mine’s the same way. Probably would’ve stormed out of here sooner than yours did.”

Her words send Dean reeling, knocking the air out of him in a way strangers haven’t been able to do in a very long time. He can’t even find the words to correct her until she’s in the middle of another sentence.

“He’s not my husband.” She blinks at him. “I mean, we aren’t even together. We’re just friends,” Dean clarifies. For the life of him, he can’t figure out why it sounds unbelievable to his own ears.

---

Five times Dean corrects someone about his relationship with Cas, and one time he realizes he doesn't need to.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester

Words: 17,923

Chapters: 6/6

Author: mikaylamazing

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26272498/chapters/63957706

The Weird Friend

Summary: When Sam stopped by Dean’s apartment to find Dean’s friend Cas sleeping in his bed, Sam decided it was time Dean knew just how weird his friend was.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 1,048

Chapters: 1/1

Author: casual_distance

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5888359

Perfect Imperfections

Summary: Castiel Novak is a graduate student teaching Intro to Calculus. He’s hard-working and awkward and shy, tends to avoid the gossip among his students, though he can’t help but pay attention when they bring up the assistant coach of the rugby team.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean WInchester

Words: 2,591

Chapters: 1/1

Author: youaresunlight

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5738566

The One Where Harry Doesn't Really Have Ten Cats

Summary: "Mate, you can dress him up in a tutu and upload it to YouTube, I don't care as long as he's alive when I come back."

Harry gasps. "How did you know I have three tiny cat tutus?"

"You sound like the crazy type."

Or, the AU where Harry is a pet-sitter for the rich and famous, and Louis is rich and famous.

Fandom: One Direction

Relationship: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Words: 10,214

Chapters: 1/1

Author: LoadedGunn

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/997974

Ain't That A Kick In The Head!

Summary: “Well.” Niall unlocks his phone. “It wasn’t getting the traction I wanted on Snapchat. So…I tweeted it.”

What.

“You tweeted it,” Harry states, nearing a state of brain dead. “To your ten thousand followers.”

Niall nods, handing Harry the phone. “You’re a meme, Harry.”

“I’m a what?”

“A meme. It’s like an internet—”

“I know what a fucking meme is, Niall! Why did you make me into one?”

Niall has the fucking balls to cackle at that while Harry looks at the mess his former friend created. Videos of him screaming at Tomlinson about Tide Pods and his ass are being quoted and combined with memes to a create a level of memeception Harry has never seen before. That isn’t even including the thousands of tweets of him falling up the stairs remixed with random Top 40 songs.

In which Harry’s a disaster gay who doesn’t know shit about soccer, Liam drinks too many blue raspberry Coolattas, Niall knows everyone, Zayn looks dead, and Louis is Not Happy about sharing his breakout moment with “Drunk Hawaiian Guy.”

Fandom: One Direction

Relationship: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Words: 22,432

Chapters: 1/1

Author: keysmashlesbian, wreckingtomlinson (karasunonolibero)

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14225523

Impromptu Sleepover

Summary: Inspired by tricky_archangel's prompt: Sam gets locked out of his room in his first week at Stanford. Gabe happens to live on his floor and offers to let him stay in his room.

In which Sam gets locked out of his dorm at Stanford, his roommate is gone for the weekend, and Gabriel is a sweetheart.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Words: 1,264

Chapters: 1/1

Author: archangelwithashotgun

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6544954

P.S. (If This Is Stanford)

Summary: ”Heyo, Gabriel Milton here. I won’t be picking up anytime soon - I’m out on Friday; need some damn strong fortification before the big holiday get together. My family…” There was a breathy shiver that had Sam’s breath catching - he uses to make Gabriel make sounds like that. ”It’s fucking insane. So I’ll be gone and avoiding the phone all Saturday and most of Sunday. Try Sunday afternoon. Until then, you know what to do.”

Gabriel paused again.

“P.S.: If this is Stanford, I still love you.”

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Words: 4,805

Chapters: 1/1

Author: InsertCoolName

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5479508

The Fantastic Plausibility

Summary: Just when it seems like the whole world is against Sam Winchester, he wraps his car around a tree. Then the world throws a charming cop who calls himself Gabriel his way and he finds that just maybe it'll be worth it after all.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Words: 2,081

Chapters: 1/1

Author: cyanspica

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8799388

Helping out

Summary: Sam's roommate is definitely weird, but asking Sam to give him a hickey so he can make his ex jealous is unusual even for his standards. Sam goes with it anyway.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Words: 636

Chapters: 1/1

Author: YouCantKeepMeDown

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11894586

Stupid Dares And State Fairs

Summary: Based on the "Diet Pudding Cup Boy" tumblr post.

OG Post: "So I've had this guy friend for about 8 years and I once ate 35 cups of diet pudding so he called me diet pudding cup boy for a long time but after 8 years it was shortened to "puddin" so everyone thought we were dating?? I shook it off for a while but one day he said "are we in a relationship or a brolationship?" and I was like "If you wanna date that's cool with me" and he straight up kissed me we've been dating ever since"

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Words: 8,793

Chapters: 1/1

Author: innersanctuaries

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12430224

Something Fantastic

Summary: Gabe is crushing hard on Sam who just so happens to be sitting on the quad, distracting Gabriel enough to trip and literally fall for Sam.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Words: 630

Chapters: 1/1

Author: KaylaAnne2

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20298622

Let's Bounce

Summary: In which Gabriel cannot, for the life of him, understand how Sam would prefer to study when there is a bouncy castle in the university quad.

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Words: 451

Chapters: 1/1

Author: Petrichora_Vellichor

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20513207

This Shifting Ground

Summary: University AU. In which Louis, law student, is the cheeky waiter to Harry’s dates. This is how it starts.

Fandom: One Direction

Relationship: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, Niall Horan/Amy Green, Liam Payne/Harry Styles (not really)

Words: 28,933

Chapters: 3/3

Author: zarah5

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/633099/chapters/1145470

On Air

Summary: Cas and Dean are radio DJs who host the second most popular morning show in Lawrence. They’ve been co-hosts for years at different stations across the country, and they own a house together out of necessity, even though they’re just friends. But for some reason, a lot of their listeners and even some of their friends and family seem to think that they’re secretly in some kind of relationship, which they’re totally not (besides that one time that totally doesn’t count). In spite of that, Dean thinks he’s got everything figured out, until an ill-fated on air game of Truth or Dare turns everything upside down (and the billboards around town aren’t helping either).

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Words: 21,219

Chapters: 4/4

Author: wincechesters

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172713/chapters/2388655

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