i can't settle on a gender headcanon for tsumugi. she's a trans boy. he's transfem. she's something in between. they're every gender at the same time but also none of them. schroedinger's gender. all i know is that he has nice boobs in every version of herself.

if theres one thing heaven officials blessing has taught me its that queergender is the way to go. yes thats a man yes thats a woman yes shes nonbinary no he doesnt align with the gender spectrum whatsoever theyre something else entirely its everything at once

true happiness comes in the character looking fem as fuck one second, masc the other, while simultaneously being neither. the world is literally in our hands why should we limit ourselves to simply one when they can be all

bruabba and fugio are good ships however 80% of the people who post about them are annoying about it. like. same with jotakak and kakyoin stans actually. the way ppl obsess over them and water it down until it's so uwuified and far removed from the source that the characters are just bland and boring. idk where i was going with this

Philippus? Wym philippus this is a wholeass other woman?????? She's white?????? Guys come on now

ALSO cursed white Euboea in this same sequence.... homeboy she's Asian please stop

Joe Phillips I'm sorry but this is some shitty ass guest pencilling how can you not know anything abt what these people look like thats literally your job... you also just needed to read the issue before this to know?

Editors should have caught this one these are major Amazon characters

Fugees have one of my top 5 albums of all time and they’ve been broken up since the nineties but they’re reuniting w/ Lauryn Hill to go on tour!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except they’re skipping the entire US south which means I would need to drive 7-9 hours to see them even though this tour is literally a dream come true/once in a lifetime opportunity for me. Actually genuinely considering doing it but christ is that an undertaking…eeek

this page has turned into something of a funeral ground. it’s where i come to lay flowers, little pieces of me posted at the foot of our relationship’s grave, where i ache and ache and ache. it is where i think i could beg, where i could and would and am and will promise to be good. i don’t know what good looks like but it has to be better than whatever i am, and i think i’d be that for you. for me.

it is 5:30am and i woke up from a dream about my dead dog and my first instinct was to text you and tell you about it, not because you’re the only person who understands grief—although, you’ve experienced it more than anyone i know—but because you put language to it in a way no one else does, and you always understood mine. i didn’t text you but i did stare at the blue heart next to your name that i never took off because i’m bad at boundaries and endings and moving on and grief.

i don’t know why i can’t be like everyone else. like those people who lose friends and barely think about it a month later. most possibly it is the mental illness. but even more than that, i think it is very rare—for me, at least—to have someone who loves me very well. my mom loves me, but she’s not good at it. i’ve had friends who loved me, but they weren’t good at it. for most of the time we knew each other, i was very lucky to have been loved by you well, and the lack hurts.

i should probably take a crash course in Moving On. i have not figured out how to delete our pictures or our messages and they all remain untouched, like some sort of time capsule i can open to relive the best parts of my best days with you. and maybe some of the worst. and i suppose as pathetic as i am, maybe i am just lucky to have had someone worth missing this much.

and maybe one day i’ll learn how to be good.

remembering a fun marble hornets trans wrights element throwback where i managed to show up for one of their first convention features & while this was ofc already [serious "hmm...Not Cis: me??"] occasions i wasn't yet out or anything like well time to suffer being known & perceived thusly....while i Was out by the same occasion the next year like well here i am again, different name, binder, no plans to give anyone any rundown about this thing, hope it goes smoothly anyways and/or i'm effectively giving a reintroduction anyhow even though i May have been up to more memorable things that last time....no conversations needed to be had, i think i had the impression i was recalled as the same person but it was an entirely chill time, just this as like an early and pretty unique Occasion of like, here's people who know me from In Person (and ig Kind of online, i also don't recall ever like distinctly linking said in person appearance to onlineness lol. it just may also have not been an unsolveable mystery or a mystery at all. but mostly in person, and that's the element i was focusing on anyways) and my showing up transly in person with a whole other name this time as the major difference really lol. like well hope this goes swimmingly....And It Did. and at some point not eons later ya boy tim with some cringe comp sincerety like oh let me make this post somewhere about how an epic element of being a known internet creator is meeting new & various people including explicitly the [mh fans are like exclusively The Gays. and then some unfiction posters] factor & i'm like lol well you're welcome. just doing my part. but fr that was neat like i'm glad to get chill indirect & direct trans validation from internet horror series contributors in that immediate period of coming out & having to sweat it like damn wasn't at this point last time around

i think perhaps people shouldnt fall into ageism and ableism just bc they got a new topic thats widely accepted for shitting on

hiii can you do enha finding out you have a crush on them from one of the members

“R U FR?” - enhypen reaction to finding out you’re in love with them

a/n: i am so sorry this took a million years BUT HERE IT IS :3 I ALSO DIDNT KNOW HOW TO TITLE THIS SO I HOPE PPL READ THE ASK LMAO

warnings- nothing- fluff, reader uses she/her

MASTERLIST

🥯jungwon… he was working on some lyrics for a song that he wanted to write. he never really took part in something like this directly so it was new to him. and he was struggling.

“jay… i don’t know what to write, it’s a love song! i’m struggling.” he leaned his head on the desk and watched as jay messed with the different knobs on his guitar.

“ask y/n she’s like in love with you.” jay mumbled without thinking, he shot his head up and looked at jungwon who also shot up.

jungwon slowly turned to jay, “are you… being honest with me?”

his older brother sat awkwardly, “ummm if i said yes?”

almost immediately jungwon got up and called you asking your location, if he had to run to you he would. and he was going to.

🥨heeseung… he sat on his back in the practice room singing to himself. he took up extra practices for the next upcoming comeback and you had left a couple hours ago after dropping him off lunch. he was so thankful for you and it made him smile to himself. around 4am riki walked in and sat down next to heeseung.

“dude it smells like body odor and noodles in here what the fuck did you do?” riki asked between laughs

heeseung sat up and rolled his eyes, “it smells like noodles because y/n dropped me off food.”

riki scoffed, “when did she drop off the food? i didn’t see her.”

heeseung leaned back again, “couple hours ago, around 1am.”

“1AM???? damn she really is in love with you hah!” riki froze right after the words came out of his mouth. god he spoils everything.

“wh-what??” heeseung looked at him wide eyed, ears pink.

riki immediately got up and ran out, leaving heeseung to sit in the practice room alone blushing.

🥐jay… you had a rough couple weeks due to family stuff and jay felt bad. you were a really close friend of his and he hated seeing you so upset. to make you feel better jay started cooking you your favorite meal. he was in the kitchen cooking and planning out his day so he can drop it off to you while it’s still warm. he was mumbling to himself when jake walked in.

“is this dinner?” jake asked, sitting on the counter. jay looked at him.

“1 get your ass off the counter, and 2 no, it’s for y/n, it’s her favorite.”

jake looked at the food, “this is a lot to give her.”

jay nodded, “i’m hoping it’ll last her a few days, it’s been rough for her lately.”

“i’m sure her just seeing you will make her feel better, she talks about you all the time yaknow?” jake said mindlessly, ass still sat on the counter.

jay nodded and hummed without thinking. jake thought he was ignoring him so he wanted to test it, “she’s in love with you.”

jay’s eyes widened and he almost dropped the wooden spoon, he looked over at jake and smacked him with it, “that’s not funny and i told you get your ass off the counter!”

🧇jake… he was waiting for you to come over to the dorm. you needed help on an essay and jake had free time so he offered to help you. he also loved to keep his skills sharp so he lived vicariously through your university work. he was frantically cleaning his room when sunoo walked in.

“oh you’re finally cleaning your room?” sunoo spoke leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed.

jake looked up at him, “yeah y/n is coming over, it needs to be clean i don’t want her to be grossed out by me.”

sunoo scoffed, “she’s seen you laugh so hard snot comes out of your nose and she’s still in love with you.”

jake stopped mid throw, his paper ball not landing in the trash, “wait what?”

sunoo laughed, throwing his head back, “oh nothing!” before walking to his own room. jake was suddenly hyper aware of his messy room and the time. you were going to arrive any minute and he was sweating nervously.

🥞sunghoon… he was getting dressed up to meet you for coffee. you were actually in town for the week so he wanted to see you again. you had been busy with classes and work and just life in general. so sunghoon wanted to take you out for froyo, he was buttoning up his coverup and putting on cologne when heeseung entered the bathroom.

“do you have a date today or something?” heeseung looked at him, eyebrows rising.

sunghoon shook his head no, “just taking y/n out for ice cream.”

heeseung now looked at him funny, “are you sure it’s not a date? she likes you a lot yaknow, like love love.”

“what? what do you mean!?” sunghoon flipped around to look at him, “do i look okay? is it too much? should i change? wait she’s in love with me?!”

heeseung left the bathroom after tapping him on the shoulder and a small good luck.

🍞sunoo… you and sunoo were having your monthly movie nights. it used to be weekly but since he became an idol he gets busy a lot. but you were willing to wait the once a month for these movie nights and for him. you were knocked out on the couch in the dorm and sunoo walked to the hall closet to get you an extra blanket. jay walked past him but stopped, jay knew you were going to confess to sunoo today. he was the one who told you to

“did y/n talk to you yet?”

sunoo smiled to himself, “we always talk, why?”

“so are you guys together now or?”

sunoo looked at him a little confused. jay yawned and stretched a bit, he was half asleep as he started walking again, “she was supposed to confess how she’s been in love with you for years. guess she forgot to.”

sunoo walked back quickly to you practically shaking you awake after that. he loved you just as much as you loved him, and sleep was not going to get in the way of that.

🍰riki… you were in the shower in the dorm. on the way home from a cafe it started pouring which led to you getting soaked. riki knew you were bad with the cold so he immediately shoved you in the bathroom with a change of warm clothes. not wanting you to get sick, then he walked to his room to make sure it was tidy and had enough blankets for you both.

jake was already in his room though, “what’re you doing in here?”

jake looked up, “looking for the ipad, where is it?”

riki blinked, “i need it you can’t have it right now.” he started rearranging the blankets on his bed. jake looked at him, jaw agape.

“what the hell for what?! give it!”

riki looked back at him, “you’re acting like you’re the child.” jake started searching riki’s desk.

“hey! cut it out! me and y/n are watching a movie after she gets out of the shower!” riki said and smacked him with a pillow.

jake stopped and his grin widened, “ohhhhhhhhhhh okay then never mind, if you and your girlfriend wanna watch a movie then i’m good i’ll just use heeseung’s pc.”

riki’s ears turned pink, “she’s not my girlfriend…” never in his life was he going to tell you his feelings for you.

“what really? i heard her talking on the phone the other day about how much she was in love with you? huh… maybe i heard wrong.” at that jake got up and left and almost immediately you entered the room. you looked at riki who was pink all over.

“ummm are you okay? do you have a fever?”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMD!

Hello everyone! Today @teaableu and I's EMD AU is turning 1 year old! Yay! 💖🥳

I didn't even realize I came up with the idea on Halloween until Teaa pointed it out to me, but I thought it was so funny

Anyways, we want to celebrate EMD's birthday as a way to honor how far this au has come, and, of course, to thank you to everyone who's supported and interacted with the au so far! Teaa and I have compiled some unposted art and other fun stuff that we'd like to share with you on this very special day 🖤🖤🖤

So without further ado...

This is something that I've thought about and want to share because I think it's so interesting...

At a certain age, Draxum started pulling One away for “special” training, which was basically Drax getting One to get used to taking lives, starting with small animals. At first, One had a really hard time pushing through and whenever he finally got the job done, he’d feel really guilty afterwards

He’d cry and Drax would ask him why and would say that crying about it is pointless and it won't help him.

I had this very specific idea of Draxum pulling One away from Two when they were playing + having fun then having One accomplish this task probably for the 2nd or third time and One coming back to Two covered in blood, absolutely numbed and hollow, which kind of puts a wedge between them.

By the time Draxum puts One in the nexus, One’s already sorta used to that feeling and it’s not such a big deal— but I was thinking the nexus is maybe what makes One think that killing is acceptable because when he kills he gets rewarded and maybe it’s also what makes him realize what his purpose is— and ofc Draxum’s already been feeding him that but when One is fighting in the arena, he actually gets what Draxum means ab their purpose or whatever about being warriors and stuff bc he knows he can fight and that he can kill and that he’s good at it and that’s what makes Draxum happy

and I just think this is very interesting bc this implies that, initially, One knew what he was doing was morally wrong and he could feel it but bc he was encouraged to kill and wasn’t punished for it, his viewpoint kinda got skewed

And in Two's case, he started to kill ppl maybe either after One fights in the nexus or he sees One kill one of the animals bc he sees his brother doing this and thinks “oh, yeah. I can do that” but bc he wasn’t taught the difference between what he should destroy and what he should protect, that’s kind of why he’s Like That. And it's why Draxum fears/doesn't trust him like he trusts One.

ANIMATICS/EDITS

Watch The World Burn

Blow

Deja Vu

PLAYLISTS

EMD Season 1

EMD Season 2

One + Raph

One + Mikey

Two + Mikey

Two + Raph

Raph + Mikey

MINI-COMICS...

Two's arm (coming soon)

One's heart (coming soon)

SNEAK PEEK: Smart Lair

how i started to feel pretty

hey loves! i’ve struggled with feeling insecure over my looks, but recently i’ve made changes that have helped me be less insecure. little improvements with my lifestyle and mindset have already made a big difference. first i’m going to talk about my insecurities, then what i did and then general tips.

my insecurities:

hyperpigmentation. i have bad undereye bags due to genetics that landed my family to call all of our eyes “raccoon eyes.” then redness above my eyelids, then darkness above my upper lip no matter how much i shaved. 

facial asymmetry. we all have it, but i felt so bad anytime i took a selfie and i couldn’t bear to take any photos of myself. 

body dysmorphia. this one is weird. i don’t view my body the way others do, and honestly the way i view it changes all the time.

changes i’ve made:

first i started doing things that didn’t help. they were temporary solutions that did nothing. i used concealer and powder for the hyperpigmentation- but it looked cakey and a little ashy-kinda cuz i wasn’t using a color corrector. for my body i did these “abs in 2 weeks!” challenges during covid, and was restrictive, which is the worst thing you can do for yourself.

for my skin:

i started using the glycolic acid serum by the ordinary. this stuff is life changing! i’ve been going makeup free on my skin lately and my skin tone has gotten so much more even. plus it’s affordable and it’s a giant bottle.

for my face:

i started doing face massages for muscle tension

i also realized that my facial asymmetry is 1) normal (we all have it to a certain extent and 2) it’s probably not as bad as i think it is. 

for my body:

i’ve started to focus more on health than appearances, because that my view of my body is distorted. i don’t see it like other people do, so i need to prioritize my health. i started eating MORE- more foods that are healthy, more fruits and vegtables. instead of restricing i allowed myself to have more.

i developed a pilates plan that focused on building strength, and incorporated a little bit of weights. now that i play sports i’ve put an emphasis on strength which has actually helped me get more toned.

journaling. i began to write down about my feelings- the way i view other people vs. the way i view myself. it made me realize how social media gave me an unrealistic image, and how i wasn’t viewing myself the way i really am.

advice:

what are you insecure about? the first step is just writing down your biggest insecurities- aka why don’t you feel beautiful? what made you feel this way? no one is born feeling ugly- we’re all taught to feel this way, whether it’s comments that have been made to us or others.

find people with similar stories. this helped me in the past, watching videos about people who had the same insecurities as me, it opened my eyes to how harshly i treat myself. 

get to the root of it. for my skin i realized that covering up my hyperpigmentation with makeup wouldn’t solve the problem, so i put an emphasis on incorporating things into my skincare routine that could solve the problem, without makeup!

think in the long-term. think about what’s healthy for you, and the most natural way of doing so. for example, when it came to my body i had to think about what’s healthy for me overall, not a quick fix. quick fixes aren’t attainable!

prioritize mental and physical health. i think we should all embrace our natural beauty by focusing on our skincare and the health of our hair. additionally, mental health is equally important, especially when it comes to body image.

positive thinking. a lot of times we tend to vocalize our negative thoughts, ive heard ppl make horrible comments about their bodies and things like that. first of all, stop saying those things out loud- you’re only reaffirming them in your head, and furthering the bad feeling. when you get horrible thoughts about yourself, try to stop them and replace them with good ones. even if you don’t believe it at first, you soon will.

it sometimes takes a while for beautiful people to realize how gorgeous they are. i had friends who i thought were some of the prettiest girls in the world, but they didn’t even realize it. i bet there’s so many people in your life who look at you and see the beauty in you that you don’t see in yourself. just stay healthy and keep positive thoughts, and i hope in time you’ll see your inner and outer beauty.

do you have any headcannons for gojo comforting reader when they start their period? (If i already sent this ask, ignore the first one! i couldnt remember if i asked this already or not)

a/n: hi darlaaa thank you for waiting teehee i love the gojo asks you’re giving me / i tried to keep it as general as possible even tho i only use pads! gn!reader, a little brief n*sfw at the end

i think we have all established that gojo is actually like . crazy in love with you and because of that he hates that you’re hurting so much bc of it :(

gojo likes to be at your command (even on normal days but) so he’s noting down every small thing you mention

“a tub of ice cream would sound so good rn…” or “think im running out of heat pads”

and he’s on his feet instantly. when youre sick or on your period he just declares it an off day, or at least on the first day when it’s the most painful

doesn’t really care about blood since he’s seen his fair share but he sometimes panics if your period comes during the night and he sees that the sheets are red

gojo lightly turns you over and sees that it’s coming from your centre and breathes a sigh of relief bc he’s had one too many nightmares about you getting bloodied and torn to shreds by a curse and he’s too late to save you

anyway. enough of the dark stuff, you freak out the first time you stay over and your period comes (the timing is so shit truly) bc his sheets are so expensive and you just “oh my god i just ruined my chance w this beautiful man”

but gojo doesn’t bat an eye, rather jumps up to comfort you, rubbing a soothing hand over you before you head over to the bathroom to clean up

a bit of blood got on him tho, thru cuddling and gojo makes a joke about how you’re “marking” him and you just roll your eyes and shove him away with a smile lol

he gives you everything you need to clean up most of the time and lets you do your thing

doesn’t let you change the sheets w/ him and rather makes you sit down to watch him, as with other things

changing the channel? gojo is there to do it. u want another snack from the pantry? he’s teleporting that short distance in his house because he doesn’t want you to feel that disgusting rush of blood whenever you stand up. hes so dramatic i swear

has made pms jokes before but he’s changed and he’s a better man now fr. gojo has gotten a lecture from utahime and then didnt take it seriously and then REALLY got told off by shoko after 💀

now whenever you���re moody he just shuts up and comforts you quietly <3

gojo willingly straps on those devices that mimic period cramps and then just when he wants to boast, you turn on the device to the highest setting (he told u to give him ur all) and he SCREAMS the most high pitched shriek ever it’s hilarious

tricks yuji into trying it out and poor yuji gullibly smiles even when gojo hasnt explained what it’s for and the way yuji grits his teeth omfg. you swear you hear sukuna ask gojo to never fuckin do that again

never disrespects you again

reluctantly gives you his sweet things 😭 he gets a little sad when he returns from a mission and his cheesecake is gone and you’re just sitting in front of the tv going “what?” LMFAOOO

he loves you too much however and lets you do whatever!

praises you even MORE during this time it’s kinda adorbs lol — “oh! you worked out on your period, love that for you, darling!!!!”

“my baby stood up from the couch! yaayyy!!!” he’s so annoyingly cute bye

learns so much about your favourite pad and tampon brands but also has that first time funny moment where he calls you and says “babe what size pussy you have?” and 😭😭

memorises the lengths/thickness and different uses but sometimes he still buys the wrong thing (it’s ok he’s cute enough that u forgive him)

has the biggest gasp when he finds out some brands put in chemicals to make ppl w/ vaginas bleed more so they buy more sanitary products

is fully motivated to go to the offices to protest 😭😭😭

buys SO MANY packets of sanitary products and just makes the excuse of “i’m rich“ and “doesn’t hurt to have more of it in case you run out”

you gesture incredulously, “yeah but not TWENTY PACKETS????? ARE YOU INSANE?”

your sweet boyfriend is just worried for you

gives the higher-ups shit cause they make you go on a mission while on your period and it’s so disgusting to exercise, much less exorcise and run around on a mission and tells them he’ll take it instead.

gojo doesn’t tell you he did tho, just comes home a little later than usual to find u already asleep

would love to make u soup but we’ve also established he sucks in the kitchen so … he just buys you those soup packets from the soup spoon and tells you he made it himself

you believe him once. and then the next day u catch an email notifying him more packets of soup is coming the next morning 💀

you two ended up eating soup for the next few days

tells you about his missions or days if you don’t want to say or do anything. he can talk your ear off for hours and you’re glad for that but sometimes you slip in little hums or nods and he can’t help but smile hehe

gojo rubs his hand on your tummy and womb when it hurts :( it’s endearing :((

sometimes also asks you if you’d like it on your core if it hurts, and his hand cupping your cunt feels nice at times.

also wiggles his eyebrows too much asking if you need his help to cum or something bc he heard it calms cramps LOL

suggests helping you to rub one out if you want but really it all depends on you if you want it <3

all in all a very sweet guy to be around and sometimes you have to tell him to quiet down cause he’s a little too hyper but he takes care of you extensively :3 you’re his baby !!!!

i have what is probably a really obscure question - back in the day when 8tracks was a thing, there was a sweat (acid soup) mix that i THINK you made + posted, with a cover of LOVEFOOL. i'm trying to find that particular cover of LOVEFOOL. do you know which it was?

okay so this has driven me CRAZY bc i REMEMBER what ur talking about, but i cannot find it at all. i tried to do some basic sleuthing, like poking around searching at my twitter and stuff, but all i find from then is 1. scattered evidence of a few ppl being like "ira what the hell is this demonic cover of lovefool" and 2. me gloating about how i only found said demonic cover of lovefool through like a 45 minute google rabbit hole. not helpful, past ira. also, i must have downloaded it at some point to upload it to 8tracks, but that would have been like, two laptops ago and there's no way i can dig up the file.

anyway i got a bit closer by digging a little more -- i have this kind of hazy memory of literally just typing in something like "cool lovefool cover" and trawling list articles, and when i tried to recreate it i found this meanspirited little vice piece with a description that i am like, 99.9999% SURE IS REFERENCING THE VERSION WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!!!!! ...but unfortunately bc it's from 2012, all the embeds are gone/broken (and as far as i can tell there's no remnants of links even when i inspect the page, tho i'm not very tech literate when it comes to stuff like this so maybe i'm missing something):

and as we can see here, even back then, if this was the cover we're thinking of, it wasn't attributed or traceable. but we do glean a LITTLE info from this: "under six minutes" means it was five and change, and it must have been uploaded to soundcloud at least 11 years ago.

i tried trawling thru soundcloud w those parameters in mind but couldn't find it... unfortunately i think there's a high chance the original account that uploaded it doesn't exist anymore. (i may have missed something, like maybe a different account has re-uploaded it and i scrolled past it bc i was looking at upload date, but expanding the search to any year is something i don't have the bandwidth for rn!!)

this might be a workable amount of info to at least go to reddit or something with? i feel like there must be at least one subreddit that's specifically dedicated to "help me find this obscure soundcloud remix that got deleted." but for now i'm afraid i must admit defeat, which sucks bc now that you've reminded me of it *i* really wanna listen to the decade-old demonic cover of lovefool too :')

hi

i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.

basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.

thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.

lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.

I was playing Genius Invocation yesterday, but out of nowhere this idea came to me like tge whispers of an old god.

How would the characters react to knowing they are the creator's favorite card? (Mine are Beidou and Ningguang, but if you are confortable, I would like to know yours as well)

AHDAALLL I HAVENT PLAYED TGI CARD GAME ENOUGH!! SO FOR NOW I RLLY LOVE THE WAY CYNO AND KAEYA'S ART LOOKS (tho diluc does look shmall in his hehe)

Thank you for your patience!! Sorry this is SO FUCKING late :0 and if it’s bad! i havent rlly liked my writing the past couple pieces, so i stuck with some fun headcanons i thought of while kicking me feet and twirling my hair over this question hehehe

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only)

Planet: General SAGAU/Isekai Stuff :)

Orbit: Headcanons

Stars: Beidou, Ningguang, Kaeya, Cyno

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Cussing & Trigger Warnings: None Known.

☆

Beidou:

BIGGEST EGO BOOSTS OF HER LIFE LMAO

SHE WOULD LITERALLY SUBTLY FLEX EVERYTIME UR AROUND IM CRYINGGG

Every fucking port knows she’s a favored one, every goddamn pirate knows it atp, hell maybe even some abyss monsters at sea too-

(Kazuha’s happy for her, but also lowkey jealous)

literally got one of her cards framed and hung in her captain’s quarters, and insisted you sign it omfg-

Ningguang isnt surprised tbh, (she knows u like strong women lol)

Ningguang:

…she gives one of the most smug smirks of her entire fucking life.

All of Liyue is gushing for her, not that she isn’t also excited on the inside, she’s just more proud than anything on the outside/for appearances

Literally set up a whole date meeting that felt like it was about to turn into a goddamn wedding proposal

I’m talking giving handcarved furniture, household necessities but they’re in pretty colors that all match (like a gold tea kettle, gold throw blanket, etc.)

Full nine-yards different kinds of teas, cakes, and all accustomed to your taste

so if u dislike super sweet stuff there are more savory items, the teas can be more bitter, or if u love sweets, this woman is giving you a bakery basically every day for nearly 2 weeks, u dont have enough space in the cabinet for all these teas- help-

Kaeya:

so fucking smug on the outside, def brags about it in Angel’s Share and he’ll only just be tipsy he’s so fucking excited to talk abt it

whenever conversations end or get a lull, he just, “So anyway, our All-Powerful Guide, really likes my TCG card, maybe even above yours, Diluc…”

pls stop him he’s annoying Diluc, and slowly other patrons 😭 (there are bar rules posted on the wall, and Diluc adds one, not for the first time, specifically for Kaeya to stop talking about TCG while in the bar LMAO)

Now all Kaeya has to do is just pull out his card (cough he’s constantly got it in his pocket, the one he asked u to sign cough)

Rosaria just looks the other way like if she can’t see it it’s not real, Diluc will literally be in the middle of making a drink for one of them and just leave it halfdone and attend to somebody else, Venti’s eye twitches-

and the entire bar just groans too LMAOOO

(have a meme I made just for you <3 )

Cyno:

oh no.

Look what you’ve done, you’ve seduced the General Mahamatra!!

Take responsibility, play TCG with him every time you see him now lmao, the only reason all of Sumeru knows you like his card (which makes it all that more desirable to ppl who do play, and collectors)

is bc he talked to Tighnari about it for hourssss, and then it made it’s way down the grapevine, and if they didn’t find out that way, the other was just seeing the usually stern and formidable General Mahamatra nearly vibrate out of his headpiece when you come near him every time you visit

Cyno weirdly gains like, 20x the luck when ur either playing against him, or sitting watching him play someone else, he’s struggling to find partners tbh bc “you’re my lucky charm? Of course I’m winning more.”

When you initially told him about him being one of ur fav cards, he literally looked like there was a loading sign over his head… Then proceeded to nearly break your ribs hugging you so hard, and nearly take ur eye out with the ears on his headpiece lol

☆

Sorry if all my writings shit for these past 2 posts! Idk im just thinking its not so good rn and idk how to fix it-

anyway I’ve started playing Breath of the Wild over the past like 2-3 months I think, and it’s amazingggg

I may or may not be both getting gender envy and also a huge crush on Link help-

Safe Travels Wandering Lantern,

💀♒

♡the beloveds♡

An iced coffee? For me??

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

i always love asking ppl this; how does your character (du drow) see themselves .vs. how they are seen by others (loved ones, friends, acquaintances, etc)

That is a good question!

When it comes to his self-perception, DU Drow assumes he cuts a very intimidating and off-putting figure at worst - and someone impressive and powerful at best.; he doesn't care either way as long as it favors him in either being left alone or getting what he wants out of people. He believes himself to appear confident and as having little regard for other people besides for his tight-knit group of friends and partner. He does believe that he's reliable - and even caring, as weirdly as he may express it. Not particularly intelligent but not dense enough to seem like an idiot. When it comes to more complex stuff - his needs, wants, beliefs, and how that comes across - his self-understanding is extremely lacking and vague. He doesn't have much of a point of comparison, however, so he doesn't really grapple with that.

When it comes to strangers (at least on the surface) he is pretty much right that he comes across as a scary, powerful person. Funnily enough, in the Underdark he is way less impressive to most of the population - a strange sight nonetheless, but his tactics don't work as well on it's citizens. Most drow don't know what to make of him, and generaly don't take him seriously or assume him to be half-something else or even not a drow at all.

(Shadowheart's and Astarion's POVs below, NOTE: these are based on what their relationships are like at the end-game/post-game, obviously there would be some significant differences if we were to talk about first-impressions and so on)

Shadowheart, being his closest friend, sees DU drow as kind of a doofus. She understands him as an animal with simple motivations and impulses, and has no real interest in pushing him to be anything else - in fact she envies how simplistically DU drow seems to view life and every hurdle that it throws his way, and looks up to him for seeming largely unaffected by his circumstances and unburdened by the things he has done/have happened to him. She does think he's a very fun person to be around - and someone she can say anything to and trust him to tell her exactly whats on his mind back, and generally tell her to pull herself by the bootstraps instead of letting her wallow in misery - she has overall a lot of respect and appreciation for the guy, though she doesn't express it too often since she thinks his ego is inflated enough. She isn't afraid or unnerved by him in the slightest and is kind of amused at how much other people are - she pretty much forgets that he looks like a freak.

As his romantic partner, Astarion's perception on him is fairly different. He thinks a bit more highly of Du drow's intellect than it probably appears, and finds it frustrating that he guy just doesn't seem to want to entertain a lot of... Thinking. He knows he can be perceptive and insightful based on how he treats him, but for whatever reason never applies that to himself, and the more they grow to know each other the more he thinks it's just a barrier DU drow has set up so he doesn't have to grapple with the things he's done and what he is. He is under no illusions that DU drow isn't a egoistical, blood-thirsty person (he likes those things about him, anyway) but worries that one day something will click in his brain, and all that willful ignorance will culminate into something terrible. He also thinks DU drow is a far more empathetic person than himself.

He really likes DU drow's company for his unfiltered demeanor - he thinks he's funny and a good listener (lol) and finds a lot of comfort in being with someone who seems incapable of hiding how they feel about him and their relationship, and doesn't think DU drow has much capacity for being manipulative or deceptive. Naturally he adores how much DU drow seems willing to devote himself to him, but it bothers him that it sometimes seem to veer into weird, damsel-in-distress-fantasy territory. Basically there's a lot about the guy that Astarion both likes and doesn't simultaneously.