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rhymaes · 5 months

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The Untamed (2019) // Anne Sexton

#YOU WANT THE BOY TO KILL YOU SO MUCH YOU ORCHESTRATED IT SO ITS THE ONLY WAY #YOU FEEL U CAN EARN REDEMPTION #BUT HE LOVES YOU TOO MUCH FOR THAT IN A WAY YOUVE NEVER KNOWN LOVE #AND HE DOESNT KILL YOU. BUT YOU DIE ANYWAY. AND THEN YOU LIVE AGAIN #AND HES MOCKED BY WHAT WAS ONCE YOUR WILLING CHOICE HELD AGAINST YOUR NECK!!!#‘loving another person seems like tying a noose around one’s own neck’ AND HE WAS RIGHT AND YET. AND YET.#the untamed #wei ying #I COULDNT GET THE BOY TO KILL ME BUT I WORE HIS JACKET FOR THE LONGEST TIME!!!#lan wangji #lan zhan #wei wuxian #mdzs #paralles #poem #anne sexton

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hecksupremechips · 1 month

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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

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unholy-boi · 9 months

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can you imagine being simon petrikov. the love of your life sacrificed herself to cure you from a cursed crown that trapped you in your own head for like a thousand years. you are the last living remnant of a time long gone. you dont know how to live without your fiance so you keep trying to summon her through increasingly morally grey acts. you want to die so fucking bad. god put a whole universe in your brain as a little treat for himself. a little girl keeps coming to your museum house to tell you she wants you to go back to being in fucked up. you are keeping an evil goose in a cage in your house and it mocks you. your daughter doesnt really need you as much as you need her and she has her own life now. the only way you can make a living is by capitalizing on the horror of your own displacement. while trying to summon your wife, a cat came out of the back of your head and proceeded to destroy your house and your shrine to your wife. you had to resuscitate the shitty evil goose to try to summon your wife again. This time a whole human woman came out of the back of your head. you really want to believe that she is just a manifestation of your prior madness. the goose is fully dead now and you have no more options in the way of getting your wife back. you go dissociate in the shower. god summons you in the nude to his fucked up room in front of the manifestations of your madness, now on-model to how theyre supposed to look. and then he shows you your final moments with your beloved fiance. and everyone is like wow simon you suck now. youre so lame now why are you so sad and stupid and lame. and theyre like dude just like get over it go do something else lol. you try to give up and god puts you on a fucking conveyor belt and tells you to perform the same ritual that youve been trying to use to get your wife back this whole time so you can put his favorite little guys back in your brain. their whole world is shitty because youre a normal guy now and they both want their world to be better and magical. heres a really good option for you: go back to being the fucked up guy that everyone wishes you were and essentially fade from existence while that guy takes your place everyone wins but you youre basically killing yourself and relapsing in one move. who gives a shit. might as well. youve got nothing to live for anymore anyways.

#fionna and cake spoilers #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #adventure time

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indigos-stardust · 13 days

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Four Keys: Skhadu (Shadow)

Other Characters: Buwe - Flicker

So I'm gonna be real guys I am filled with guilt that I have not posted their lore and stories, I'm just too much of a perfectionist so I'm just gonna ramble like I'm talking to a friend so I can get all of this out

Tw for child abuse, but its not descriptive its just part of his story

So Skhadu is an illegitimate prince of the draconic people in this fantasy world. He hates his father (Ganondorf <3) and his fathers Advisor/Mage (Vaati <3) even more!

He hates not having real power but still being forced into doing crap for everyone and then not even having the freedom to make his own choices.

Hes kinda been forced into this enforcer role, where he kinda has to terrorize anyone trying to plan some rebellion or coup or whatever. There's a lot of issues especially with the Kings great hibernation coming and the rumor of their only valid heir, Skhadu's half sister, being extremely ill. Like "Oh hey I might die" ill.

She would be the one with the crown and guardianship of their fathers Realm (kingdom wise and centuries nap wise). So if she's out for the picture, or at least weak, then that leaves alot of room for plenty of others to take a chance at power.

Point is though, Skhadu still has to attend stffy formal events, be constantly controlled so he doesnt "Embarrass the crown even more", and train to just do whatever everyone else orders him to do. The training is very brutal, and with Vaati being the one teaching him his magics? No very fun...

Not to mention he's constantly disrespected and humiliated, he has no choice, no freedom... just occasionally pity. It's what his father said preventing him from being killed.

So Skhadu runs away. He's still a prince. Just a Prince of Theives now. Or that's what he proclaims anyways.

He wants to make as much money as possible with as much chaos and fun as he wants thank you very much! Get real power on his own! Cause as much chaos and destruction however HE wants to! Not worry about responsibilities or appearances! Or Vaati threatening to lock him in a cage for two weeks without any food again! Adventure! maybe a girlfriend! Freedom! Money!! That he can actually use!!!

He even has the skills for it too- All his years stealing, sneaking, and fighting Vaati has payed off! And he's not only read about plenty of techniques, he's even learnt from other thieves<3 he's definitely found his place

SURPRISE: The heir, his half sister, really is ill. Fatally. He is the next best thing to an heir they have. The closet thing to keeping power in the family. They'll offer him whatever he wants if he comes back.

Skhadu does not want to come back. He finally got real freedom. Real happiness. He understands how much the "power" he'd get is just a lie. He's not interested. Responsibilities are gross. He'll live in secret and have an AWESOME time doing that thank you very much. The colorfully worded letter containing his own scales proves that.

So the manhunt ensues. He'll never be caught- Hes too smart, too clever-The crumbling Kingdom can suck it and figure out their own issues! Not force him to! Hed rather end up in a jailhouse again than being publically executioned whenever a new coup shows up.

Or just live in hell being nothing but Vaati's puppet. He knows he can't run away forever though.

Buuuuuuut, something does catch his eyes...

There's some little haggle of misfit adventurers looking for some "triforce" artifact or whatever. Something about "finding the sacred keys" or some crap. It sounds like a bunch of guys high of fairy dust believing in some folk tale, but Skhadu knows better. Because he knows that's what his father was searching for. To restore the power of their kingdom, and become a god. Skhadu had just thought he was a madman. But with the evidence he's seeing... Maybe Ganondorf is not.

It's supposed to take the energy of one's soul and mix it with their greatest desire. Fueled by the raw magic of the elements, their wildest dreams can come true... Even defeating death.

Its.. probably an exaggeration, but based on the actual viable magical documents, it does seem entirely possible he could use it to save his sister. He's NOT doing it because he "cares" about her or whatever. Shes stuck up and overly perfect! Skhadu is just doing it for his own interest, its a dog eat dog world afterall. If she can be the heir then they'll stop hunting him, and he'll be free!

Besides, those adventurers or whatever? They're a bunch of saps, it'' be super easy to trick them! He'll just let them do all the hard work and steal it from them at the very end! Yes, yes, he IS a genius, and a very handsome one at that.

Sure he'd be a traitor to the throne and his new "friends", but really, what's one more lie to the pile?

#four keys #my art #my au #four swords #fs #shadow link #fs shadow #four swords shadow #fs art #four swords art #four swords manga #four keys shadow

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dolliestfairy · 1 year

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𝐹𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝐹𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑦𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑒╰🎀 . ִ ۫ ⁎ .

Gojo, Nanami, Sukuna, & Megumi with Chubby!Fem!reader who is a Fashion Fairy ᮫ׅ ๋ 𝆹 ׅ╰🧚🏻‍♀️ . ִ ۫ ⁎ .

🧸 A/N : hey hey i'm just done taking a break for like 2 days so now i'm back writing again hehehe :) also i forgot to make the pt 4 of the baker series with gojo, but i already put him in here so i'm just gonna post this first, and then maybe i'll post the baker series pt 4 later. tysm! if you like my writings, please reblog & feedbacks me! ty!.

🧸 Warnings ; genoside mentions & murdering attemption include, Mocking/bullying (not from the jjk characters) and maybe some misspelled word. reader skin color is not announced.

Gojo ʚ ₊˚ ᥀

• Yuhh another fashion-enthusiast 👸🏽👓🤏🏻

• love your style so much that he sometimes buy clothes that match your style.

• really support your ethusiasm over fashion!

• every week after he had done his training or mission, he goes to where you lived, knock the door at your house, and ask you "Y/N lets go shopping tonight~!"

• if you refuse he will be a pouting baby, whining over everything. but if you accept him, this goofball will be Over the Moon 🌙🌬

• like, after you accept his invitation, he will goes to tell his happy news to his friends and his students in a rather exaggerated manner.

• Yuuji, Megumi, Nanami was exhausted at this point, hearing gojo mumbling "She accept it!" over and over again, at this rate they dont even know if this was a blessing or a curse.

• so mother fucking proud having you as his S/o. always mumbling and bringing it to others. but if some lowlife starting to mock you, he's going to act like an annoying offensed teenager saying "How could you say/do that to the love of my life!?" but... if that lowlife is taking it as far as wanting to hurt you or endangering you, well i suppose they're gonna have to encounter the Horrifying side about Gojo Satoru (although he'd still be in his Goofy attitude 💀)

Nanami ʚ ₊˚ ᥀

• didnt mind it, in fact he really love it, but he just doesnt show it too much.

• we all know Nanami is some sort of stoic person, so its not so surprising hearing this. he really really love you, and would die & kill for you. but he's a Man that doesnt really show it out loud.

• he's showing his love with how much he want to spend his time with you.

• one of his favorite part is that, he really love seeing how confidence you are in your beautiful clothes & jewelry.

• theres nothing more entertaining for him than seeing you compliment yourself in front of the mirror. he really love seeing you happy, and he would want to keep your confidence forever.

• but theres a time where some pest trying to somehow.. trying to.. lower your confidence. trying to.. make you uncomfortable about your own self & body.

• and if nanami knew that his beloved s/o is getting mocked and look down by some pest, he's going to go straight to their home, knock at their door, and lecture them with the wisest yet cruelest words you could ever imagine for 5 hours straight until that pest is become a crying mess and begging for mercy.

• after he done with those pest, he's going to a gentle giant to you. he's gonna try to make you confident about yourself again.

• what do you need? cuddles? food? more dress? more clothing? jewelry? hair accessories? no problem, its all for you.

• Would kill for you if that means he can see you happy and being comfortable with yourself again.

• and that's just how Nanami Kento show his love and devotion for you in his own way.

Sukuna ʚ ₊˚ ᥀

• oh my god this man.......

• he looks like a dilf but i'm telling ya this man is aged MORE THAN A 1000 YEARS OLD. so i'm just telling it may not go so well.

• he sometimes think millenials opinion and choice about their style and fashion are weird, but its not like he cares about them.

• hell he's the King of the curses! why would he cares about mortals fashion anyway? *pfft*

• but its all change when he meets you, the love of his life although he'd rather cut his tongue out than calling you this lmfao

• oh how he looove the the colors you put outside your skin, how they compliment your curves, giving you the best look, and the confidence. yes.. the confidence 🙌🏻 the way you compliment yourself in the mirror, also the way you gave zero fuck about some people who want to take down your confidence.

• but that doesnt mean that people can just get away. you may used to it but sukuna was far from it. he's going to go to that fuckface place and take their lowlife lives.

• he may even go as far as planning a genoside if it means keeping you safe & happy.

• but we all know he's a major tsundere, so he only would-to-never admit all of this at all.

• he probably would admit this in the most confusing way you could possibly imagine.

• but again, thats just how he show his love for you. he would kill for you, and he would even start a genoside if its necessary enough to keep you safe & happy.

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uriekukistan · 20 days

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Hope your day or night is going well!! ✨

Okay, top five Megumi lines/scenes?

ahhh thank you i hope yours is as well!! and thank you for the ask!!

im in the car rn so some of these i couldn’t track down the specific chapter/page bc i dont wanna use all my data :’)

1 - “i’m not like itadori, i have no problem earning 100 points for myself.” or something along that line

one of the things that fascinates me the most about megumi is the way he places value on lives, and this line is just so cool to me. he’d said before this that he saves people unequally, but this shows just how far that goes. he’ll kill anywhere from 20-100 random people so tsumiki and itadori, the two people he cares about and thinks are worth saving more than anyone else, don’t have to get their hands dirty, and their lives hold more value to him than others. it’s also so interesting to me because of the way megumi doesn’t consider himself a good person like tsumiki or itadori, and therefore doesn’t really see himself as worth saving, so it’s just a necessary burden he has to carry as the “bad” person for those two. also add that in w this line, and im on the floor

2 - his battle vs sukuna at the detention facility/“i’m not a hero, i’m a jujutsu sorcerer”

another moment where we get an insight into his ideas on good/bad people and who deserves saving, can you tell i love this aspect of his character? i mean, he’s about to sacrifice himself for itadori to live (hopefully), even though he literally met the guy two weeks ago, because he thinks he’s a good person who deserves saving. it’s the first insight we get into megumi’s thought process, and this was really the moment that made me start paying attention to him more. i also love how he kept a softer expression on his face and didn’t cry until after itadori died, like he didnt want itadori to feel sad or guilty in his final moments im SICK also the fact that he took the name-tag to that guys mom even though he didnt have an interest in saving him, like he was paying a respect to itadori….ugh…anyway yeah i love dissecting the way he values life.

3 - “so start by saving me, itadori”

see as an itafushist of course this had to make the list like this whole chapter has me on the floor but anyway aside from that, i love thinking about this scene because the words he’s saying seem so contrary to how he thinks? like he’s asking to be saved but he doesn’t think he’s worth saving? so it needs an extra layer of consideration. i feel like he really said this more to motivate yuuji (and save tsumiki) than actually wanting to be saved himself. plus the “it’s our fault, don’t be selfish and give up all alone” aaahhahahsj i just love this moment i feel like it shows his character very well….when the idgafer actually very much gaf….

4 - his first domain expansion

hellooo this was so sick and cool and badass of him like i dont think there’s anything i need to say for this. huge character development moment for him too. add this with the simple domain he had in dagon’s domain + the part in the culling games arc where he literally hides himself in the shadows……he’s crazy powerful and i dont wanna hear anything abt it! if u were traumatized like that you’d be curled up on the floor too

5 - “if you die, i’ll kill you” both times

again as an itafushist i couldnt not include this….of course there’s implications for megumi’s character as well but i feel like there’s only so much i can talk about his moral code in one post yk? but yeah i think it just shows how much the people he cares about matter to him

also bonus i love just any culling games megumi, his determination to save tsumiki and make it so itadori doesnt have to kill anyone makes him grow so much as a character and as a sorcerer, i love it sm

thank u for the ask! any excuse to yap about megumi 🤞

#me when i queue an ask game and then forget #i have no idea what’s in my queue tbh #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk spoilers #megumi fushiguro #itafushi

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ainri · 8 months

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hello! I'm the one who asked for one of illumi (yandere) could you make it headcanons?

illumi zoldyck as a yandere (hcs and drabble.)

•hunter x hunter

•yandere illumi headcanons + small drabble

•mostly fem oriented

•assasin/servant reader

•fic warinings: !dark content!, mentions of death multiple times including reader + reader’s family, insinuated character death at end, forced labor, undergarmnet theft, swear words, mild gaslighting, obsessive thoughts.

•🔞

•masterlist

•a/n: this is my first request so ty!!! tbh i rlly like writing yanderes like its just so fun? anyways someone should really do a crime count because i had to put some extra stuff in the fic warning so that people wouldn’t go crazy on me or call me insensitive 🥰sorry for the wait i completely forgot abt tumblr…..🙊if it doesnt make sense its because i rushed it bc i felt bad for how long i kept my anon waiting (sorry anon pookiebear) and its 1:27am 😞😞

continuation of this post!

<🌟🌟🌟>

-how did you end up this position again?

-oh yeah thats right! your parents were also assasins who just happened to have ‘issues’ with the zoldycks.

-they had personal issues with silva due to a deal gone wrong between the two assassin families.

-how did silva handle getting played by your parents? by sending out an order to kill them.

-but silva is a higher class man with much bigger issues. who’s better to do the job than his son illumi?

-of course the original order was to kill you, your father, and your mother.

-when illumi saw you walking back onto your family’s estate something in him just snapped.

-he just couldn’t help it; he had to have you, no matter the cost.

-that was the moment he realized he couldnt just let you die or kill you.

-you were…special?

-that was the first mission he had ever failed… he just couldnt bring himself to kill you.

-after silva finished beating the shit out of him; illumi had an idea.

-illumi spoke of this idea to silva; to make you a personal servant in return for you and your parents’ lives.

-of course silva agreed, once silva privately told you of this ‘agreement’ you had to agree.

-best to not test the zolycks’ willpower and to not test the waters.

-working as illumi’s personal servant was fine, that was before your panties started disappearing randomly from your laundry bin.

-“master illumi, i hate to bother you with this but have you seen my panties?”

-“no. what are you saying servant?”

-he quickly retorted back, almost, no, way too quickly.

-of course, this all started to add up when the male zoldyck house staff started to ignore you + avoid you like the plague.

-apologizing profusely to you over the smallest mistakes or accidents.

-this was all bizzare…. you needed answers, as quickly as possible.

•••

it was a calm day of cleaning when suddenly you walked in on it—illumi torturing your male coworker who helped you clean the atrium yesterday. “master illumi, what are you doing?” the servant asked horrified and confused,

“none of your business servant-“ he stopped himself to reword his sentence, “you know what? no! i was teaching him a lesson for speaking to you. besides you only belong to me!-right? right? say you belong to me! i killed all of those men—no, boys for you and you can’t even say, ‘thank you master illumi.’!?” he was yelling, now losing his temper.

“master illumi i didnt ask for you to kill for me! whats wrong with you? you-you-you psychopath! youre being completely delusional and irrational!—“

CLANG

all you saw was black as you felt your vision go blurry with illumi hitting you in the head with skme heavy blunted off object.

“i don’t appreciate that (name), i don’t appreciate it at all. you ungrateful woman. all i ever wanted to do was love you. clearly you cant even allow me to do that much. what a shame.”

END

••••••••

#illumi hunter x hunter #illumi zoldyck #hunter x hunter headcanons #hunter x hunter x reader #dark content #yandere headcanons #yandere #yandere illumi #illumi x reader #illumi zoldyck x reader

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mako-neexu · 10 months

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that manga fucking rules so much i didnt even care the handwriting made me slowdown reading what the kanji was and i stared at it 15 minutes per character. i messed up my sleep schedule by reading this but its worth it theyre uploading it gradually but its about 14 out of 89 pages so im looking forward to the rest hehe

im too lazy to typeset so i will describe it instead~ It's your average yakudou comic with guda getting hurt. But its a perspective that i love so far...so i want to ramble about it

but of course it starts with a fight: "Everyday life" "Fighting, getting hurt, healing, and-" then theres a beast approaching her, "sometimes, death"

then it cuts to guda in the hospital bed, waking up 3 days later from her injuries with rider vinci on her bedside in the infirmary, checking her vitals. then da vinci casually drops onto ritsuka that if it wasnt for medea lily she would be alive bc, THE ENTRETY OF HER LEFT HALF OF HER BODY WAS TORN APART BY THE MONSTER and shed have died <3

then she says "anyways, im glad your right hand (command spells) wasn't damaged/taken and your wounds was deep but youre healed now. anyways, you good to go on the next mission?" then we cut to the flashbacks of guda in their moment of "death" at this point i was eating all of my fist... then guda just says "yeah lets go" with a smile

theres so many things wrong with that scene in a single instant but its a drug to me to see this kind of interaction where someone says "thank god your staff is safe but anyways 3/4ths of yourself got blown away but thats fixable <3"

then next was oberon's perspective where he describes her as a self sacrifical idiot, that theres no other word for her as she always comes back with scars and wound from fighting, and he doesnt know just what drives her to come back again and again until shes satisfied. then oberon sees artoria being worried she confesses to him about today's events where "ritsuka and i were walking in town to run some errands but just when i heard screams from ritsuka i was too late to notice"

and when castoria turned around all she could see was Ritsuka getting attacked by the enemy from behind, smiling peacefully as if saying "Ah- this is where i die" and castoria is so distressed and worried and shes crying a little and she talks about hers and oberon's love for ritsuka about protecting her and about her not knowing what to do bc she just wants ritsuka to smile my heart was going to give out for the three of them😭 i love them really much

but then next scene fucks me up even more with obecas visiting ritsuka again in the infirmary, then i find out castoria was also the reason why guda is alive. then da vinci says, "no matter what i'll heal ritsuka as best as i can" then oberon says, "Wow, aren't you so desperate about whether she lives or dies?"

Da Vinci, exasperated but now smiling: What are you saying?? It's just natural, after all...

THEN THIS SCENE KILLED ME LIKE IT KILLED GUDA HHH IM GOING TO DIE TOO

"She is our Master!"

Then Oberon pauses. Then internally he goes, "Our Master?"

...Because isnt that saying:

"Precisely because Fujimaru Ritsuka is a "Master" that she is worth healing."

then the comic ends im dying over here bc its 14 pages so far but i need more to stuff it inside my guts

#fgo #guda comic suffering is the best i love it im going to rughhgfkjhdgkfjdjkdfgnjkdnfbjnkbdfjknbdf #guda #fujimaru ritsuka #fate grand order #gudako #yakudou trio

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sunsetling-12 · 7 months

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I WATCHED THE BALAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES AND I HAVE THINGS TO SAY

i loved the adaptation btw, of course its the hunger games franchise that we're talking about here

anyway, spoilers ahead

we dont see him making the infamous cabbage soup, but we do see the snows apartment falling apart

tigris is still everything to me, they pulled her lines straight from the books — unfortunately we don't see much of her, but hunter schafer slayed every time she was on screen

i was very confused abou the plinth prize being a thing since the beggining, but i think it made sense... idk a lot happened in the movie after coryo rescued sejanus from the arena so i dont know if they had the time

i was also very confused that the thing about the academy students mentoring the tributes was unknown until that moment in the movie, again, i think they did this to expose the most things at once

lucy gray singing after her reaping was everything to me

oh, and the snake on mayfair's back too, very girlboss of her

the scene in the zoo, when he's parading her around is a copy of the book, i liked it very much

unfortunately coryo and lucy gray barely interacted, not like they did in the book, but the scenes they had before she went into the arena were very good

i though they were going to skip arachne's death, but they didn't — they skipped her funeral, though, but thats fine

they did the scene with clemensia and the snakes but she dissappeared right after, we never got to see her skin changing to scales which i think was a miss

the explosion didn't kill as many of the mentors as it did in the book, not that they showed anyway, the only name mentioned was felix ravinstill

i loved that we got to see more of the arena than in the books

the scene where coryo rescues sejanus is the exact same and i wasn't expecting less

lucy gray doesnt kill wovey :D

she does kill dill D:

i kind of hate the fact that coryo gave her the compact with the poison inside already, it just... idk it didnt had the same impact

i missed that they cut lucky interviewing the mentors as their tributes got killed, i would've liked to se lysistrata talking about jessup and humanizing him for the capitol

the snakes scene is awesome, a lot more people die in this — including reaper, which i think was a better ending for him than the one he got in the book, he embraced his death and it was quite beautiful

lucy gray singing to the snakes was AMAZING, everything that i ever wanted

i kinda loved how coryo gave the handkerchief with her scent to the snakes, it was a very deliberate choice and not like the book that he "did without thinking straight"

viola davis as dr. gaul was PERFECT, everytime she stole everyone's moment, she's just as unhinged as she is in the book, we dont see as much, but its implied

i wished they showed her expetiments with the avoxes to get the point across on how she is, but thats fine

casca highbottom was also a little shit, love it

coryo and sejanus meeting on the train to go to twelve caught me off guard, but i like it

rachel sang a lot in the movie and i was there for it, it was perfect everytime

their reunion was sweet, i'll admit it

i wished they've show it where the covey lived in the seam, but we cut straight to where he meets her in the meadow

i loved their scene in the lake and lucy gray singing "lucy gray" (lol) but i wished she'd sing the valley song to maude ivory instead

i also loved that they made movie coryo be the only one — technically, she most likely sang it to the covey, but anyway — who heard her sing the hanging three since you know, in 65 years he'll be shitting his pants with katniss

the hanging of sejanus was so heartbreaking, him crying out for his Ma... i cried, i knew i was going to cry and i did it anyway

seeing lucy gray realize coryo also killed sejanus was pure gold, i loved seeing her visibly tensed up and starting to see him with an entire different lenses

the whole ending in the woods was just like the books, i think it made a little less ambiguous about lucy gray's end, but i liked it

(and also i always believed she lived anyway)

maybe im reading waaaay too much into tigris, but her calling snow by "coriolanus" instead of "coryo" made me think she's starting to see the man he'd become — and this man is nothing like the little cousin she loved

"snow lands on top" is the last line of the movie, perfection, if you asked me

the only thing that i didn't like was that i dont know if they made coryo as unhinged as he is in the books, because we're not in his head and reading his line of thought, in the movie he does seem very genuine and it does seem like he really likes and cares about sejanus and lucy gray — we don't see him comparing her to an object or the excuses he gives himself to like her because she's not "really district" therefore not a second class citizen — until the very end when she finds out about the whole sejanus-being-hanged-because-of-him thing

idk his breakdown kinda feels rushed in the end since we dont have the context of what was going on in his mind beforehand and i think people who dont read the book would think it came out of nowhere

aside from this, i loved the movie and im totally going to see it again as soon as i can lol

EDIT: i just fucking remembered that they dont say anywhere that the 10th Games were erased ????? why ????? is the whole point !!!! oh i would've love to hear him say "goodbye lucy gray, we hardly knew you" i would've gone insane

and also, she doesn't say "the show is not over until the mockingjay sings", and it makes me a little annoyed — like, idk where they couldve put this line, but i whish they did

#the hunger games #coriolanus snow #lucy gray baird #tbosas #tbosas movie #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the ballad of songbirds and snakes movie #tbosas spoilers #sejanus plinth #my thoughts about tbosas movie #i really liked it

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stupidsketchpad · 21 days

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hey guys. im here to rant about how 2econd 2ight 2eer (second sight seer) by will wood is secret life bigb's song because god its eerie how similar the song lyrics are to his character. AHEM (also spoilers for secret life)

My grip on my secrets slipping while I'm speaking in tongues

ok. this is a really good start lol. basically bigb's task don't mean much when he does weird shit anyway for fun and, quote from grian, "writes his own tasks"

Screaming at the top of my lungs in the confession booth

he's saying stuff that litterally makes no sense. even after his task is done he wont tell anyone (confession booth is kinda like people asking about your task after it's done. your confessing your task to someone)

Take it with a pillar of salt, H.A.L.T., it's not my fault

i got nothing man

The devil made me do it, but I also kinda wanted to

THIS LINE AHSHDHSHAH. THE SECRET KEEPER GIVES HIM THE TASKS CAUSE HE HAS TO BUT HE WANTS TO DO THEM ANYWAY ANDDDD MAKE THEM AS CONFUSING AS POSSIBLE. SECRET KEEPER COUNTS AS THE DEVIL HERE

I'm cut from a different kind of meat

More than you can chew, hard to swallow me

"what the hell are you doing??" is a common question he gets asked. hard to swallow. y'know

Forget bored stiff, I got rigor mortis, call it morbid curiosity

How I cannot commit to reality, when my third eye's open and I like what I see

he's doing shit for the sake of doing shit.

Baby, I may be crazy but I didn't lose it, no I set it free

AAAAA THIS LINE TOOO!!! ok so he didn't just randomly start lying in secret life. it was weird before that too! i cant speak for double but LIMITED LIFE he was also confusing people about being the boogeyman. basically that one meme with the "guy weird about everything but its drowned out by how weird about everything the other people are"

I can't ignore what's under dance floorboards, the rhythm of my heart a dead-as-disco beat

But I still move my feet

To slip out of this groove, I'm free

dont got much here but i think this is just him having fun, yknow

Now to row, row, row my boat over the falls

And maybe wake up from but a dream, yeah

"but a dream" is the games. there are three rows in the line. lose your lives to get the game over with.

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it babe

There wasn't much to find

once again, this wasnt the first time he was being weird!!!

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I'm only passing through

say weird shit, refuse to elaborate, leave.

Oh, oh, o-o-oh

If you knew what I knew, if you saw what I see

You'd look through illusions, hallucinations, and lucid dream

And I know that meaning can be such a pretty thing to keep

But I got facts and I'm not afraid to use 'em, take the good with the bad, take off the back you make a new front

evo, anyone? anyway this man knows about watchers and doesnt care. he knows! he just doesn't give that any meaning.

Some days I'm glad that I am a madman and I'd rather be that than

An amicable animal, mild-mannered cannibal

red lives and how bigb doesn't have the same bloodlust as they do. this guy doesn't kill much, he's like the most passive on the server. /srs

But I'm more level-headed and clever than ever and I'm getting better one forever at a time

how many people guessed any of bigb's tasks? that's right, zero! (if i remember correctly.) he's getting better at the games (btw the games being referred to as "forevers" is just ahshahdghs)

And if sick is defined by what's different, well then pull the plug out and let me die

not much here

Vice-versa, vice versus virtue

Well who I am I choose through all the things I do

AAAAAAAA HE CHOOSES HOW HE IS PERCEIVED BY THE OTHERS BY SAYING HIS STUFF YA GET WHAT IM SAYING

And if it rhymes, it's true, but I hate poetry

contradicting himself. easy peasy analysis here folks.

Now with my moral compass pointing south, I'm going down

With no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no respect for reality

could say this is going red! but also. "going down?" LIKE A HOLE? HE MADE A HOLE?????

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it babe

There wasn't much to find

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I'm only passing through

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it babe

There wasn't much to find

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

same stuff

A tourist passing through

Well that was fun, goodbye

he died. but hey, he had fun!

anyways thats all thank you for listening to me ramble about songs and minecraft i WILL do this again. sorry if this is incoherent i wrote it at 10:00 pm.

psst... moot... @bigb-enthusiast... would you like this?

#life series #trafficblr #secret life #bigbstatz #bigbst4tz2 #secret life bigb #bigb #god why do you have so many tags #stupidsketchrambles

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ididit-allofit-foryou · 3 months

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RIP to my friend nixie. they stopped watching SPN after season 11. and asked about the finale. i wanted to immortalize what i sent (which includes a recap of seasons 12-15 so they would Understand.) so. read on if you wish, this monstrosity is going under the cut lol

so. in season 12 lucifer possesses the president of the united states (dont worry about it) & impregnates one of the president's staff members who was banging the president behind closed doors, republican Kelly Kline. through a series of events, cas winds up being the Adoptive Father. kid is born, but he had opened a rift to a different alternate universe the show so eloquently named 'apocalypse world'. it is a world where sam & dean were never born. through Another series of events, team free will PLUS mary winchester (yeah shes back from the dead, amara brought her back, dont worry about it lol) & cas tries to kill lucifer. he thinks he did, comes back through , and hes like there for .02 seconds before lucifer pops through & stabs cas. cas dies. mary beats up lucifer with angel brass knuckles or whatever & they fall through the rift & it closes. they are trapped there. at this exact moment, jack kline (kelly kline & lucifer/mr. president's baby) is being born. sam runs into the house to Check On That. dean however, falls to his knees next to cas's body & looks up desperately to the sky. (the cw said Not to read into this. it means Nothing. destiel who?!) also kelly died in child birth. bc spn Hates women.

thats the end of season 12.

season 13, we have jack. he popped out a fully fledged like. 19? 20? 21 year old?? bc his mom said he would have to Grow Up Fast. dean wraps cas's body in a curtain. alone. and is like crying & devastated. the bois and jack burn cas's body & dean looks like he wants to off himself (& he tries to in like. the next episode but Death brings him back). (also sorry im sooo bad at summary lol). we have the Widower Arc where dean bargains with a silent god to bring back cas, but Nothing. and dean is just fucking depressed as all shit. suddenly! cas is back!! BECAUSE jack heard dean yelling at sam about how its jacks fault cas is dead bc when jack was a fetus he showed cas a Vision of how he could bring Paradise On Earth if they allowed him to live (they wanted to kill him bc. like. Spawn Of Satan & all that). so jack uses his Powers™️ & brings cas back from the dead! yay!! a lot of other shit happens & the Empty (which is like. the Entity that encases all the angels & demons when they die, & where cas was when he was dead) Does Not Like that cas escaped. so, it wants to take jack to get back at cas. cas is like 'no fuck off thats my son lets make a deal. take me back instead' & the empty is like 'ok bitch 2 can play that game. i WILL take you. but ONLY when you experience a Moment Of True Happiness™️'. & cas is like 'bet.' bc! hes a depressed mf & figures it would take a Miracle to make him Truly Happy. (pls keep this in mind, its a surprise tool for later). ummm so yeah season 13.

season 14 had like. ANOTHER fucking michael/lucifer arc but it was Stupid. dean said yes to michael like the angels wanted in season fucking 4 & 5. & i dont Totally remember the plot but like. dean has michael trapped in a box in his mind & wants them to?? fucking?? put him in a warded coffin & chunk it in the ocean?? so michael will never hurt the world again?? also--its like. AU michael. and also mary is okay, & we get AU bobby & AU charlie & a lot of shit happens. anyway.

season 15: we get the Divorcr Arc™️!! dean & cas fight!! bc guess what? jack accidentally killed mary!! (yes! she died AGAIN!!) bc! he didnt know how to control his powers! & dean blames cas! so cas Leaves in a big dramatic breakup scene. we also find out that god (aka chuck) has been like. controlling Everything?? & free will Doesnt Exist?? & dean has a crisis & we get cas saying 'dean, you asked what about all of this is real. We Are.' (which we were apparently sooo crazy to read into!!) & also!? chuck brings back ALL the monsters salmon dean ever killed?? and rowena sacrifices herself to save the world! but! dont worry! she is now thenQueen Of Hell™️ & fucking THRIVING! anyway, season progresses, we get purgatory 2.0 and dean & cas are separated & dean lITERALLY GETS DOWN ON HIS OLD MAN KNEES TO PRAY TO CAS AND APOLOGIZE AND SAY HE FORGIVES HIM!! & then. a bit later. chuck starts poofing away Everyone On Earth bc he wants to destroy the multiverse. and also? death wants to kill dean i forget why. oh yeah! i think he stole her Death Book or whatever to try and see how to kill god. anyway. we have episode 15x18. Thee Episode of All Time. it starts with AU charlie and her gf. they are making eggs and vibing and all of a sudden her gf goes Poof. then sams gf Eileen goes Poof. so they round up as many friends as they can & put them in a warded place but they all go Poof. so sam is with the friends when this happens & also jack. and dean & cas have gone to the bunker to Fight Death. and. so. get ready for this. death shows up. she (yeah billie the reaper became death btw. long story) she starts to like. squeeze deans heart to kill him with magic. cas helps dean run through the bunker away from her. they get to the dungeon. death is literally banging on the door which cas had cut his palm to ward with a sigil of his blood with a knife he pulled from deans back pocket. (again: he cut his palm--another Surprise Tool For Later). deans like 'im so sorry man, we should have stayed with sam. shes gonna get in here, and shes gonna kill you, then shes gonna kill me' & cas is like 'well theres one thing strong enough to stop her' & he starts telling dean about the deal he made to save jack (yep, he never told him). and he says 'i always wondered what would break that curse. but i think i know now' & he. he fucking. he starts a speech about how he knows how dean sees himself, as a killer, a monster, daddys blunt instrument driven by anger, just like his enemies see him. BUT cas says dean is Not that. he says dean is 'the most caring man, the most loving man on earth' & deans like freaking out & is like 'why are you telling me all this? why does this sound like a goodbye??' & cas says, crying, but smiling, 'because it is' & then!! cas!! says !! 'i love you' !!!!!!!!! &&&&& death breaks down the door!! && the empty is materializing behind dean! & dean says 'dont do this cas!' & cas grabs deans LEFT SHOULDER WITH HIS BLOODY PALM! & says 'goodbye dean' & shoves him out of the way!! & the empty grabs cas!! && death!! & takes them away!!!!!! && dean is like!! freaking the fuck out sitting on the flooor with tears in his eyes!! && we cut to like. a bit later. hes Still there, crying, head in his hands, as his phone rings on the floor--its sam. end of the world, sam is calling, & he doesnt answer. we end the episode to deans crying. LIKE FUCK!!!!

15x19: they defeat god. jack like. absorbed him?? & he became god?? & then fucked off to do godly duties!? and did Not bring cas back????

(there are Theories that Chuck Won &thats why the next episode is so fucked and i Have To Agree)

15x20: okok. i fucking HATE THIS FUCKINGEPISDORNFMDNFNDNFNDBDND

anyway. so. cas is Not in the episode. at All. we have sam & dean? driving??? & there are like at LEAST 2 very Bad montages of random scenes that dont even make sense. sam & dean go to a pie eating festival. sam shoves pie in deans face. they Thengo on a case. its vampires. theres a vamp from like. season 2?? who was a minor charachter?? but they brought her back?? why??? idk. and. so. dean gets impaled on a rusty rebar nail during the fight scene in thr barn. he gives sam a long ass speech. they ?? touch foreheads for some reason??? && dean wont let sam get help??? & sam is like 'if cas were here...' & deans like 'yeah well he isnt.' like??? && then deAN FUCKING DIES??? && GOES TO HEAVEN??? && BOBBY IS THERE??? AND APPARENLY FUCKING ABUSIVE ASS JOHN LIVES DOWN THE ROAD??? && dean asks bobby 'so jack did all this?' (as in revamping heaven so people can be all together instead of separate like it used to be) & bobbys like 'well, cas helped' & then dean smiles, then goes?? & rides his car!?? bc his car is in heaven????? && we just see him driving interspersed with clips of sam on earth, burning deans body, and grieving dean, and later sam gets a blurry wife, we dont see who she is, and he has a son?? and he named him dean!? whixh we know bc the kid has on overalls that say 'dean' on them??? & then sam gets old and sits in the impala & cries while wearing a wig that looks like its from fucking party city?? then sam is on his death bed and his son is there?? && theres all these pictures around him of himsefl and dean & mary & john but?? no wife!? ans also!!? noone else like their friends?? & then sam dies & carry on my wayward son plays for like the second time in the episode. and we see dean on a bridge in heaven, he finally stopped driving & is staring off into the distance. and then he hears something behind him & smiles & we all thought 'CAS???' but NO its fuckingSAM somehow young again like whendean died?? & theylike. hug. and then it pans out & all the cast & crew are there?? and they say thank you to us for watching?? and then ?? its over?????? like Awhta thWHAT THE FUCK

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noisyghost · 2 months

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I have Questions!!

How was Mira immortal??

How did she trade her immortality for Ark??

Totally normal about that whole reblog chain 🤡

*twirling my hair invitingly to distract you from the 20k word document with inconsequential headworld bullshit i'm opening up behind me*

To answer your questions, i have to explain two related points. Do not scroll down and look at how long this reply is. don't look. im very normal about them.

First point: how MagicTM works in my headworld. Magic works under the laws of alchemy, aka the law of equivalent exchange. For something gained, something of equal or greater value must be lost. This, of course, facilitates the philosophical question of "what is equal to a human life." Necromancy/resurrection is not a 'forbidden art' persay, it's just that it's generally agreed upon to be impossible. People have tried, and it usually just results in a waste of time. Because when a person is dead, they're dead. You could throw a thousand sacrifices at someone and it wouldn't make a difference (this is generally considered to be because if, theoretically, you did bring someone back to life, they would just immediately die again. Because they died for a reason, bringing them back wouldn't magically fix what killed them in the first place lol).

There appears to be, however, one small caveat to this - one perfect scenario under which a hypothetical 'resurrection' would be possible. If the person has very recently died (we're talking less than a minute, the longer that brain isn't getting oxygen, the deader they get), and a very skilled magic practitioner was nearby and had something they could trade, AND bringing the person back wouldn't immediately kill them again (IE: you cant fix someone getting their head blown off!), you could hypothetically resurrect them. This would literally ONLY work in a "they just need a few more minutes for help to arrive" scenario. If any of these conditions are not met, it isn't gonna work.

The circumstances under which Ark died just happened to be so perfectly aligned that this was even possible! Werewolves are very uncommon bc werewolves are so dang big that whenever they bite someone, it usually just kills them lol. The werewolf that bit Ark physically restrained herself from biting all the way thru. If she hadn't, he would have died instantly. Then, the second his heart stopped beating, Mira immediately made the exchange without hesitation. She traded functional immortality for about 10 minutes of time, which happened to be just barely long enough to get his ass to a hospital.

Which, ofc, begs the question: "what is worth 10 minutes of life". Leading me into.....

Second point: Mira is not human. Mira is a djinn. This was a driving wedge in her and Ark's relationship at one point - not because she wasn't human, but because she lied about it and it ended up getting his sister hurt (which is. a whole other can of worms). Djinn are long lived, 'human adjacent' beings considered to be the originators of the alchemical arts of magic in the first place. Which is to say, she's very good at magic!

Because of their status of Not Being Human, their lifespans don't align with ours, and they appear to be pretty much immortal (theres a whole disclaimer list and caveats to this but it would take too long to explain and we dont have time for that lol)

So, when pressed, Mira traded her extended lifespan to buy Ark a few extra minutes. And it wasn't even really a difficult decision for her - everyone but her seems really upset about it. But pretty much all of her friends are human or human adjacent, and will live normal human lifespans, so she thinks she "doesnt need those extra years anyway".

if you will, "whats a couple hundred years on this earth without you in it?"

#shut up bug #not art #bug answers #at her core. mira is a scared little girl who gets attached to people to the point of obsession.#does it cause problems? so many. is it extremely cool and sexy of her? absolutely

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humanaaa · 7 months

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I AM GONNA TALK ABOUT MY BRAZILIANS ISEKAI AU

All the brazilians are murdered, and they are isekai'd!

Cellbit: follows the "you get isekai'd and go to a fantasy world as yourself trope"! He wakes up in the fae kingdom, some chaotic faes put him in jail as a prank, and he is saved by the "chef" of the royal castle, Roier. Roier definitely isnt the fae price pretending to be the chef. Roier really wants to run away from the kingdom, especially as the whole kingdom is under lock down! No faes can get in and no faes can get out! It sucks.Roier also wishes he could see his son again, as he thinks Jaiden found him after Bobby was kidnapped.

When they do run away they make a living of travelling the whole world, selling food and searching for Bobby and Jaiden, it's nice.

Bagi: following the "reborn as a random npc that was supposed to die" trope, she wakes up drowning in a river and discovers she is a noblewoman from the demon kingdom. She pretends her almost death made her lose her memories, and for that she is forced to work in the demon king castle, who says they will help her to get her memories back (lying). She ends up meeting Iron Mouse, who tell her she is the actual Queen of the Demons, but her crown was stolen! Bagi and Mouse start ploting so Mouse can become queen again.

Later, they get help from Tina, a woman who also works in the castle, making tea, but she really wants to be a fashion designer! But the clothes the workers use wear so fucking ugly and she will kill the Demon King with her own hands for forcing her to wear that.

Pac: vaguely following the "Villain Are Destined to Die" plot idea. He is reborn as the villain of the story, wakes up in the pirate kingdom and is saved by a janitor called Fit. When he wakes up, he can't talk: a bunch of options appear on his vision, each saying a different thing for him to do/talk and he must select one of them so he can do something. Later, he discovers he can disable it, and that he and Mike are linked now, and they both banter while Mike tries to find him.

He also sees a heart above everyone's head, showing a percentage, he believes it's how much they like him, this surely wont bring any problems!

Mike: following the "reborn as an animal trope"! He wakes up as a magma cube (and also meets Slime here, they are brothers: were made by the same lab), and can hear Pac's thoughts, they discover they can talk to each other with their minds, and Mike goes through a journey so he can find him. He accidentally meets the Godness of Creation and becames a half human - half magma cube!

Forever: follows the "reborn the Hero of the story" trope! He wakes up and is forced to go to the Island Where Dragons Live, because, apparently, "a dragon is the one bringing all the problems of this world, and the hero must slay it". But. Forever doesnt want to kill a dragon what the fuck.

While trying to find a way out of the island, he finds an dragon egg, who hatches while he was holding it, he names the dragon baby Richarlyson, and he is a father now! But the dragons know he is the hero who is supposed to kill them, now he needs to figure out how dragons work so he can raise his child, find a way out and try to not get killed, fun!

Felps: Following the "Preferential Treatment for The Possessed Person" plot line, he wakes up, he can talk to the god who created this world and the voices who are watching it (you guys :D), he has whole skill thing he can upgrade with money! He can read the story! He can get very op items! But he is mostly making a square, and having fun, the world is supposed to end soon he knows that but, where is the fun in being overpowered :( He also acidentally creates a religion out of himself, oops!

Bonus:

Jaiden:

Following the "reborn as a bird plotline"! If i had a nickel for everytime i read a reincarnation story where the mc is reborn as a bird i would've 4 nickels, what isnt a lot but its curious it happened 4 times. Anyways, she first woke up in the fae kingdom, she and Roier adopt a dragon kid! They name him Bobby, until he was kidnapped one day, she went after him, and the lockdown happened so Roier couldnt leave. She is working with the federation, who says they will help to her to find Bobby!

The last time Roier heard of Jaiden was when he got a letter from her saying he didnt need to search for them because she found Bobby. But she never wrote this letter. Weird! right?

#qsmp #qsmp brazilian isekai au #<== using this tag for i WILL WRITE A MULTI CHAPTER FIC OF THIS

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unicornsaures · 1 month

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hi doli this is a yap pass you know the drill :333

i figure everybody needs one every once in a while

- ash

YEAH OKAY WOOHOOOO I LOVE YAP PASSES

we are up thinking about dally. again. as always. most specifically sh dally TRUTH. god i love 'taboo' hcs...but also dally and johnny's entire dynamic as it is so honestly ill start with that first because looordddd do i have THOUGHTS.

tw// sh and suicide!! im yapping about dally be warned

okay so obviously we know johnny is 'obsessive,' but i think some people forget that if we take into account what the fuck happrned, dally is equally - if not more - obsessive as johnny is. I think they both just demonstrate it differently than each other. Johnny shows it in a more straightforward, 'worshipping,' way, but dally demonstrates it in a more discreet way I guess? Its discreet until the end at least, i mean he literally killed himself for johnny🤷‍♀️

what i find interesting about their dynamic though is that it in no way could be healthy. that is mutual obsession at its FINEST and it can. NOT. end well. One dies, the other dies. One leaves, the other is ruined, if not both of them ruined. Problem with this is one of them is bound to die in every universe. Usually, if any were to die first, it would be Dally. Hell, he was close to snapping by the time johnny died anyway, i dont think he wouldve lasted long even if johnny lived. Bit the problem with this is thag if dally died first, johnny would probably feel like an empty shell of a person if you get what i mean? Like, Dally was one of the things Jonny loved, but he loved him the hardest. Johnny loved ponyboy, but in a different way than he loved Dally. And im not just talking about the fhance of romantic love either. No, im talking about idolization and putting each other on a pedestal. For johnny, this pedestal isnt fragile, it would take a lot to break. But i think for dally, hes holding johnny higher than the rest, yeah, but it doesnt take much for that pedestal to crumble.

So, back to what i said earlier, dally was one of the things johnny loved, but johnny was the only thing dally loved. Recipe for disaster. Johnny loved him and idolized him, dally thought of him as a purpose to keep going. I mean, Dally really didnt know how to handle his emotions at all and he saw himself as someone who had to protect johnny. (i know thats a big reason on why he reacted the way he did.) He thought he failed and whatnot, but that also doesnt excuse the fact they blatantly favored each other over most of the gang(exception being ponyboy, but even then i dont think johnny favored either.)

In short, dally was a mess who couldnt handle emotions and instead of figuring out his own brain and traumas, decided to take to johnny and do his best to protect him because hes like, the one person who doesnt hold a grudge against Dallas. I have hcs and whatnot about why he got drawn to johnny(like he saw himself in the kid, even if he was only a year older, but that aint canon so🤷‍♀️.)

Their dynamic fucks me up so hard and in tired of pretending they would be healthy. they wouldnt!! they would be HORRIBLE for each other!!! they would feed into each others obsession, probably get extremely jealous over each other, and they would be completely unaware about how bad they are together. Yes, they are portrayed as a duo, but dallys way of dealing with his struggles is ignoring them til he snaps. Johnnys way of dealing with his is also ignoring them until he snaps.

They both showed that they at least had suicidal thoughts and again, if someone ended up killing themself, it would br a punch to the gut for the other. This is IGNORING the constant worrying that would be going on that the other is in danger, the other may have killed themself, the other hates them, etc etc. They both demonstrated suicidal thoughts. they both demonstrates obsessive behavior. put those two togetehr and youre getting the worst of both worlds. Im not even gonna get into what woukd happen if someone DID end up killing themself because thag would be a violent circle of self hatred and guilt for whoever lived if not an immediate death. For johnny i think he would try and live on but constantly blame himself that it was his fault he died, or he would instantly follow after him. With dally, he would get mad. oh he would br a ball of anger and hate and he would snap much like he did in the movie, if not worse. I think hr would also blame himself for the reasoning AND the fact that he wasnt enough for johnny, difference being he would probably end up dying an hour after he got the news.

Alrighty, time for sh dally truth now because this man is the embodiment of self destruction and i think there is no way he wouldnt have at least TRIED it. This is partly me projecting my own problems onto characters but also i genuinely think its in his character to actually do it, yknow? Part of me thinks he would do it to seem tough, that he can handle pain and he would ise that as an excuse to keep going cause no ones stopping him. The other part of my brain is saying that he would do it as a genuine coping mechanism or the desire to feel pain.

From firsthand experience im saying..neither! Im seeing it as a way for him to get an adrenaline rush, if not for a little bit of pain/'punishment.' Most of his reckless behavior is, from what i see, the result of getting bored. He sees normal living and to him its boring. He wants to shake shit up and start problems and rven then, he gets bored of that too. Eventually, he's bound to run out of things to give him that rush of adrenaline anymore and yk. sh is just there. its new, it lets him get an 'adrenaline rush' for the time being and then he'll stop. Then he does it again, then he stops, and its a cycle until surprise surprise, it turns into a comfort more than anything!

Instead of getting an adrenaline rush for a little, it calms him down and he realizes he likes that WAY more. add in his already self destructive nature i doubt he'd see much wrong with it, too. Just as a thing he does to 'calm down.' I dont even think hed have a 'main form.' Cvtting, burning, whatever, i dont think hed use one more than the other. Whatever he can get his hands on in that moment is fair game.

I could go more into the psych of it all if i wanted but im summing it up to a subconscious need to feel pain accompanied by an addiction and a false sense of euphoria. I also have a lot of ideas about the gang finding out and either being extremely concerned or chalking jt up to 'yeah, thats dally.' because they know they wouldnt be able to do jack shit to stop him. so yeah. youre welcome for the yap

#dolirants #asks #lordy im so sorry for this this is long asf AHAHDBBF #tw long post #dally<3 #jally<3 #my hcs

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pondering-gales-left-orb · 8 months

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This might be controversial or not idk dont kill me for this (or do i will simply not die shsjdhsj)

ANYWAY

Look as an abuse survivor and also as a person still living in a some what abusive situation and trying my hardest to leave ,Astarion's non ascended ending feels like a punishment to me for trying to escape the cycle.

Im Not talking about him burning in the sun again or running to the shadows thats kinda a logical writing move but im talking about how non of tav or the companions even move an inch or go after him...

Like i understand i really do! sometimes you try to escape situations that are impossible to escape but i know that with every attempt you come out a different person than when you started. You gain experiences and friends that make you stronger you mature and change regardless of success or failure and open up new doors of survival..

For astarion he came out of this situation with new friends from all over with new found experiences new found trust and understanding of life, connection, and love and to me it would make sense that once he was "back to the start" he would return carrying these new found concepts and use them to make a situation better

So him completely disapearing and crying alone implying hes gonna go back to the sewers while the companions go on an make a joke feels crule and like we were told trying to break the cycle is not worth it and no one cares if you dont have success.

In my heart my tav doesnt even let him run she throws a cloak on him and gale casts darkness and the companions shield him and shadowheart heals him while discussing whom of the companions is he best to go with and stay at thier house and live there with dignity while we try to figure out a sun risitance potion or spell.

This is called support this is called connections this is called having your friends back

just like how TAV/wyll support karlach and go with her to keep her alive and have her back. She is forced to go back to the start to the place she loaths and swears to never go back to non of her plans work out and life takes her into a different direction. i've been there i know it too well i know she tried to break out of an impossible situation (impossible by game mechanics i know there's a way story wise to fix her engine but its simply not in the game) but she goes back to the start carring all the new found things she learned and gathered along the way. She goes back knowing she is loved she is cared for she is worth us leaving it all behind she goes back with a friend that will support her for the rest of her life. For Astarion's non ascended he doesnt get that...

And that pains me especially knowing what ascended Astarion is like, im not gonna hate on that direction but im just gonna say it feels like we and he were rewarded for reinforcing the cycle of abuse and shat on for daring to try ro break it and that kinda sorta hurts:(

Sigh :( he deserves better :(

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #orb words.txt #just my opinion #i often miss cotext clues so i might have missed some stuff #cause im ND and stuff #but if i did PLEASE don't yell at me im super open to others opnions about this so yeah #astarion

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nauticalpig-blog · 5 months

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spoilers for amored core 6 but

FUCK people who dont like story driven non-rpgmakeresque games dude oh my god. you will never experience the agony that is doing the bad guy route and seeing your friends who you've sided with, a world that you've gone through hell, literally died and grown and changed and learned just to protect, seeing that all fall apart in your fingers because you just have to do this. you have to do the bad guy route. you have to get that secret special ng++ ending, so you have to play the bad guy this time. you have to fight your silly videogame buddy to the death this time and they don't even know that you spent hours of your life learning to fight just to help them win and live. you have to use talent and skills you learnt alongside them in a world that doesnt exist, that never existed, that you have all the spoils from but none of the love or compassion that you brought, you have to use it to kill them. and it's never easy, you die and die and die and die because they're your FRIENDS, they're who you learned from, you have to struggle and claw tooth and nail and beat them and hurt them over and over and over and over and over and over until you can finally put them down for good, you have to bite and kick and scream until they fall down dead, knowing you only as a monster and then you have to leave them, leave that entire playthrough and all the people you hurt and all the damage you caused to go to the next one to do better, you have to leave these friends, YOUR friends dead and dying and ruined without ever giving them the kindness that you could've done. you leave them rotting from your cruelty as the sole victims, the one story that leads them to dying and hurting and never getting to see the sunrise of the next day because you HAVE to, because how else are you going to save the day again next time? these versions must suffer so the others may live, right?

anyways i'd like to see any non-story game reach the emotional low/high of having an epic dramatic mecha fight in low orbit on the back of a spaceship with your buddy who never got to see you be their friend for the fate of their planet as they talk about how great you are and how far you've come until you kill them, or fighting your own little silly brain-haunting ghost to the death in space so you can burn their homeworld and their other silly ghost friend people, or having to fight your guiding mentor after he's been broken beyond repair, so much so that killing him is the easiest and most desired fix for what's happened to him, and him thanking you at the end of it all

i miss rusty, ayre and handler walter :(

not carla though she can go fuck herself stupid street cleaner 2.0 fuckin boss bullshit fukcin fucking sbcuking sufhjsidngngs i'm glad i got to beat your ass and your little dog too

#ac6 spoilers #armored core 6 #i love rusty so much he's my little goober mecha man #so cool that they got me attatched to all these goobers without showing their faces once i love mourning faceless voices of my friends

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