#I COULDNT GET THE BOY TO KILL ME BUT I WORE HIS JACKET FOR THE LONGEST TIME!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rhymaes · 5 months

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The Untamed (2019) // Anne Sexton

#YOU WANT THE BOY TO KILL YOU SO MUCH YOU ORCHESTRATED IT SO ITS THE ONLY WAY #YOU FEEL U CAN EARN REDEMPTION #BUT HE LOVES YOU TOO MUCH FOR THAT IN A WAY YOUVE NEVER KNOWN LOVE #AND HE DOESNT KILL YOU. BUT YOU DIE ANYWAY. AND THEN YOU LIVE AGAIN #AND HES MOCKED BY WHAT WAS ONCE YOUR WILLING CHOICE HELD AGAINST YOUR NECK!!!#‘loving another person seems like tying a noose around one’s own neck’ AND HE WAS RIGHT AND YET. AND YET.#the untamed #wei ying #I COULDNT GET THE BOY TO KILL ME BUT I WORE HIS JACKET FOR THE LONGEST TIME!!!#lan wangji #lan zhan #wei wuxian #mdzs #paralles #poem #anne sexton

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this-file-has-been-redacted · 11 months

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Tagged by @teddybasmanov (hello beloved I'm making out with you rn <33)

Five things that make me happy:

Candles/incense/wax melts!! Scented things are so good. One of my favorite small joys

Looking like a transsexual and/or a faggot <33 that's my ideal version of myself

The scent of summer night air when you're in your bedroom alone with the window left open. It's one of those surreal and incredibly specific feelings that cant be put into words

Dyeing my hair!! Self expression!! Making myself in my own image!!

Shitty art. Singing off-key. Ugly paintings. Cringe uninspired poems. Pretentious purple prose that makes no sense. 300-word unpunctuated fanfiction. Crumbly messy hideous cakes. Earnest and imperfect expressions of the universal human need to create

I'm assuming people I would normally tag have been tagged already, havent checked, but I'm going to tag them anyway! (Except arsenal teddy and damien, because I know you guys have all done it. I still thought of you!)

@cottagecorexboy @paladinboyfriend

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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mlmvoidboy · 2 years

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"I couldnt get the boy to kill me, but I wore his jacket for the longest time"

"Okay so I'm the dragon, big deal"

"Forget the dragon, leave the gun on the table, this has nothing to do with happiness"

"You do this, you do. You take the things you love and tear them apart"

"I wanted to fall down right there, but I knew you wouldn't catch me because you're dead"

"You are a fever I am learning to live with"

"I don't really blame you for being dead but you can't have your sweater back"

"I took the bullet for all the wrong reasons, I’d just as soon kill you myself"

"Do I have to tie your arms down? Do I have to stick my tongue in your mouth like the hand of a thief"

"This is not harmless. You are not breathing"

"don't leave the room until I come back from the dead for you. I will come back from the dead for you"

"the parentheses all clicking shut behind you"

"I wanted to hurt you, but the victory is that I could not stomach it"

Crush by Richard Siken

#richard siken #crush #poetry #art #books

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realismomagico · 1 year

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good "i couldnt get the boy to kill me but i wore his jacket for the longest time" afternoon

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cloudslou · 6 months

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i couldnt get the boy to kill me, but i wore his jacket for the longest time

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ikusayu-no-hana · 1 year

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that is SO 'i couldnt get the boy to kill me but i wore his jacket for the longest time' of yjh

#homotron 5000 rlly kept texting kdj all those years ughhhhh #randomeows

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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fangsforfags · 2 years

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poems dont really do a lot for me but im sorry for the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine. i couldnt get the boy to kill me, but i wore his jacket for the longest time.

#GAH #insane poem fr #haha make me shut up challenge

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finalgirlbuffysummers · 3 years

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re reading you are jeff. yes having a totally fine normal regular evening.

#not from you are jeff but #i cant stop thinking about i couldnt get the boy to kill me but i wore his jacket for the longest time #its a good thing i cant get a tattoo

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gczebos · 4 years

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me, a gay who loves IT: ooh, I’m gonna order Crush by Richard Siken, his stuff is great

me, an emotionally unstable gay who has a crush on her best friend: h a...oh w O w...I am...haha...unwell

#why devon why did you do this #also fuck you richard siken your words hit me in my core #‘the entire history of human desire takes about seventy minutes to tell. unfortunately we dont have that kind of time.’ fucks HARD #‘do it over; give ne another version’ also hurts #‘i couldnt get the boy to kill me but i wore his jacket for the longest time’#i am very unwell

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gaysie · 5 years

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rethinking the decision to put richard siken quotes RIGHT next to my bed because i am unhinging as we speak

#i couldnt get the boy to kill me but i wore his jacket for the longest time!!!!!!!!!!!!#kath.txt

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malcolmreeds · 2 years

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... i couldnt get the boy to kill me, but i wore his jacket for the longest time.

#gorilla interrupted #siddex #rlm #redlettermedia #my art #i take these characters too seriously but i do not feel cringe so idc

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rhymaes · 3 years

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me, thinking about how they chose to end FOX’s early 2000′s drama series House M.D.: my god, they made it a ghost story,,,,,,This was always going to happen. She’s been dead since the beginning. And every minute without him i waited alone: for my death, for his ghost. Death is not romantic. he is dying. that fact is one-dimensional, a black-note on an empty staff. I loved you completely. And you loved me the same. That's all. The rest is confetti. This story happened a long time ago...It is already over. Nothing can be done to change it. Sometimes a ghost is a ghost but other times a ghost is the prominent absence of a ghost. Go on, haunt me then!...Be with me always – take any form – drive me mad! Whatever souls are made of, his & mine are the same. I’ll take care of you. it’s rotten work. not to me. not if it’s you. You’re going to die in your best friend’s arms. And you play along because it’s funny, because it’s written down, you’ve memorized it, it’s all you know. When it comes down to it everything is about ghosts except ghosts, which are about love. So did I. I don’t know. I wish that part wasn’t in it. A haunting just means something you can no longer outrun. Ghosts are almost always figures for something you think should be gone, but isn’t. That’s it. A haunting just means that a trace of the past has come back. The ghost almost always announces some disruption in the order of time; the ghost is history itself, perceived as a problem; the disturbing persistence of history into the present. It is history that refuses to go away.

#a collection of quotes i think abt ALL THE TIME. & now im like. fuck. thats why. thats why ive always thoughts abt this finale. thats why #like. they did THAT huh. they---they said okay. here is a character who spent his whole life living for others. and he is going to die. and #there is nothing more to be done about it. he is dying. thats the fact. there is nothing beautiful here. & it's SO very #the one person who loves you isnt who you'd thought it would be. but that's the trick---because he's there with him. he staged his death #to live the last months of his life on his dying best friend's terms & to give him a space to make his own life into what he never allowed h #imself. it's horrific. it's memorable. it's a ghost story. it's a love story. it's 'im sorry about the blood in your mouth #i wish it was mine. i couldnt get the boy to kill me but i wore his jacket for the longest time #house md

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wheelsup · 3 years

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moreid as a cheesy high school teen movie romance | headcannon

(this really got away from me, it is incredibly cheesy. derek and spencer are the same age (but one year apart) in this au. tw: mentions of anxiety, mentions of homophobia. 1.4k words because like i said, it got away from me)

spencer, a sophomore, shows up on the first day of school in one of derek’s junior-level classes. derek remembers him from the summer, when he had to come to school for off-season practice and spencer was there for chess club tournaments, he passed him a few times in the hall. he’s gotten taller since then, and his cheekbones have come in. he looks good. not like the awkward freshman he remembers.

spencer’s always getting called on in class, and derek can see him panicking every time he has to speak up.

each time spencer’s anxiety kicks up after he talks in class, derek leans over and tells him he did a good job. that he didn’t look as nervous as he felt.

spencer starts speaking up more in class, not just because derek’s reassuring him and easing his anxiety, but because he knows it will get the boy will talk to him. even if for just a moment.

after class one day, derek stops spencer as he’s walking home and asks for his phone number. he says it’s so they can talk about homework, but derek knows that it’s the only thing he won’t be texting reid for. spencer has to pretend his hands aren’t violently shaking when he types his number into derek’s phone, he’s afraid he’s going to drop it with how sweaty his palms feel.

spencer waits for derek to text him, but nothing comes through. two days go by without a message, and spencer’s stomach is turning inside out and he’s so sad. on the third day, derek finds him in the cafeteria at lunch and corners him, asking why he hasn’t been responding to his messages.

“why haven’t you texted me back?”

“i never got a message?”

“well i sent you like seven of them”

that’s when they figure out spencer gave him the wrong number. he was so nervous and shaky that he hit a zero where it should have been a one. both those boys spent three days thinking that their crush was unrequited. in reality, derek had sent him seven texts and spencer was crushing so hard he couldnt even type right.

reid’s contact name is obviously pretty boy

spencer hates phones but he turns his notifications on just so he never misses a text

dereks mature and texts back normally, spencer is insecure and tries to wait to reply so he doesn’t look like he was waiting for a text

even though the mutual crush is so obvious, they still pretend like their texts are nothing to speak of. they’re nervous.

them staying up past midnight texting is just because they’re “buds”. derek telling spencer what his favorite movies are, which spencer saved onto his netflix list, and spencer sending derek song recommendations that he saves into a playlist, is definitely just “buddy” stuff.

it’s the day before the big homecoming game, and derek’s going to start. he wore his letterman jacket around all week to show his pride, like football players are supposed to do the week leading up to the game.

it also rains really hard that day, and spencer shows up to class looking like a drowned puppy with his sweater completely soaked. he had to walk across the entire campus to make it to class, and he couldn’t avoid getting caught in the rain.

derek sees him, shivering and pale, and slips him his letterman jacket to wear in class. he does it so casually, like it wasn’t even a question for him to give it up, but, he’s nervous that spencer’s not gonna wanna wear it, even if he is fighting hypothermia. he has to actively try not to smile when spencer accepts the jacket.

it’s so much bigger than spencer is, and so, so warm.

after class, spencer hands it back to him and thanks him for letting him wear it. derek tells him to hold on to it for now.

“aren’t you supposed to wear it for the game tomorrow?”

“how about you wear it. give it back to me after i win.”

he blushes so hard and he’s so in love with derek, but spencer’s scared to wear it to school the next day.

nobody would say anything to derek, but the homophobic assholes could easily pick on spencer. they already ragged on him enough, he didn’t want to give them any more reasons. he tries it on and takes it off a hundred and one times in the mirror before going to school.

he ultimately doesn’t wear it to class.

it would just make him too easy of a target, and he wanted to so badly, but he’s scared of the bullies.

he’s also scared to face derek. he avoids him all day, hoping he doesn’t see that spencer didn’t wear it to class that day like he was supposed to. he avoids him in the hall. he hides in a seat in the back of the classroom.

it doesn’t work. derek turns around in the front row, eyes scanning for spencer. he’s absolutely crestfallen when he sees him, sans jacket. and spencer’s clearly been avoiding him today, and so he gets the message. spencer doesn’t like him like that.

the sun was out that day, and the wet grass field was gonna dry up in time for the big game, but derek’s whole world felt dark.

spencer tries to talk to him after class, but derek’s nowhere to be found. he texts him as he walks home alone and doesn’t get any response. spencer tries to convince himself derek’s just at practice, and he doesn’t have his phone on him, but he knows that practice doesn’t run that long.

it’s 7pm now. derek’s big game is about to start, and spencer’s sitting on his bed, staring at the ceiling and hoping he didn’t just ruin his chance. derek looks over the bleachers before the coin toss and he doesn’t see the only face he’s looking for.

bullies have taken so much from spencer, and he was letting them take his first (potential) boyfriend away from him too. spencer wants to stay in bed and cry, and he does for a bit, but if ever spencer was going to take a stance, he decided it should be now.

he shows up to the game five minutes before half time, just enough to see derek in action. he’s never seen anything so impressive. as the team is huddled up and the marching band is playing, derek by chance glances over the bleachers and sees reid. front row with that big jacket over his shoulders.

derek’s heart has left his body, ascended into the sky. he plays even better that second half, but he feels like he’s floating on air, even when he’s getting tackled and rammed.

reid, who has never seen a game of football in his life, is learning everything he can as it unfolds before him.

he’s clinging onto every play, cheering when derek does something good (really, the whole team did it, but to reid derek IS the whole team) and booing when the other team was up.

sometimes he doesn’t know what happened and why the crowd is cheering, but he cheers anyways.

the game is over and people are leaving but spencer is glued in place. the team lost and everyone’s disappointed, but spencer is the proudest he could ever be.

because the first derek does is walk off the field and towards the bleachers. to him.

they don’t kiss. not here. in front of all these prying eyes and bright lights, not in a place where they couldn’t savor it.

derek does hold spencer’s hand, though. it means everything that he came. it means more that he wore the jacket.

and he’s scared, too. he might be the school’s beloved football star, but this is the first boy he’s ever liked and he doesn’t know how to handle it.

they leave the game together. derek’s team is wondering where he went because he was supposed to come get drunk with them to forget the loss. but derek won tonight.

derek and spencer tell each other they might not know how to do this, but they wanna figure it out. it’s worth enduring a bit of pain for this much joy. the bullies couldn’t possibly kill off the butterflies in spencer’s stomach every time he even thought about derek.

they kiss at spencer’s front door, under his dimmed porch light. the world falls away around them, all that exists is derek’s hands caressing spencer’s face, and spencer’s arms wrapping around derek’s waist.

spencer keeps the letterman jacket. he’s going to wear it to class on monday.

taglist: @ellesgreenaway @suburban--gothic @sturmmhond @ssa-sarahsunshine @mediocre-writer @hotchgans @ssa-m-187 @calm-and-doctor @drayshadow @makaylajadewrites

#moreid #derek morgan #derek x spencer #spencer reid #hc #headcannon #criminal minds #my fic #derek morgan x spencer reid

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sixtyeightdays · 4 years

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The Queen

She is not playing dolls. She is stalking the halls; living off thrill of the kill. Marinette can smell fear.

this mini speech drabble is inspired by HBIC by @unmaskedagain and The Pigtails Are Off by @para-dox-normal

WARNING: MILD VIOLENCE , SLIGHTLY GRAPHIC

Marinette left the class, after depositing ribbons into the hands of a few of her classmates.

Alya turned to face Nino, whose hat was still drawn down, covering the upper part of his face.

‘What was that all about?’ She demanded. Nino sunk lower into his seat, casting a look towards Chloe, who huffed and stood up.

‘You all made a huge enemy today,’ she began.

Alix scoffed. ‘We’ve dealt with you a lot, we aren’t scared of you.’

This time, Sabrina spoke up, which clearly shocked the rest of the class who thought she was a spineless servant of Chloe’s.

There was a glint in her green eyes that wasn’t there earlier, making a shiver run down the class’ spines.

‘Oh, who said anything about Chloe?’

Now it was Juleka who spoke up, looking away from Rose who was grasping at her arm for answers.

‘You have no idea what kind of protection you just threw away.’

Ivan, fed up, slammed his fist into the table. ‘What the HELL are you guys even talking about?’

Nino looked up and smirked, which shocked Alya and made her take a step back, after noticing the sinister glint in his eyes.

‘You all are... new here. You don’t know how the Queen works.’

Kim stood up from his desk proudly, puffing his chest out. ‘I’ve been in this class one of the longest! 3 years!’

Nathaniel looked to him like he was stupid before shaking his head.

‘No. We have. I’ve been here 6 years, Chloe 5, Sabrina, 6, Juleka 5 and Marinette? 8.’

Juleka, Nino, Chloe and Sabina all spoke up in an oddly monotonous voice, walking towards the front of the class.

‘She is not playing dolls. She is stalking the halls; living off thrill of the kill. Marinette can smell fear.’

The class broke out into laughter. ‘Marinette? What can she do?’ Alya wiped a tear from her eye.

The others stared at her coolly and waited for them to stop laughing. Chloe stepped forwards and smiled.

The class was taken aback.

‘I don’t like any of you, so let me make this clear. Watch your back when you get to school tomorrow. Like Juleka said, you have no idea what kind of protection you just threw away. Marinette has been protecting you guys for ages, since the first minute you stepped into this school.’

‘Just because we don’t like you, doesn’t mean we’re evil enough to leave you..without a warning.’ Juleka smiled, cold flashing over her features.

‘I may be dumb, stupid, even. But I’m not that dumb to get on the wrong side of the Queen.’ Sabrina laughed.

Nathaniel made his way to the front before stepping next to Nino and in unison, they said;

‘Good luck. You’re going to need it.’

-

When Marinette reached home, she immediately shrugged off her regular grey jacket before digging into the closet to the item she had left behind for 3 years.

She reached to the black box sitting innocently at the back of her closet and pulled it out.

She opened it and unfolded the outfit that was inside, looking at it with a evil smile on her face.

Inside, there was black combat boots with silver studs, a black leather jacket with light pink and grey highlights and dark blue ripped jeans.

Marinette grabbed the clothes out and spent the night altering her old clothes, making it bigger and adding a small pocket in her jacket for Tikki to comfortably sit in.

The kwami knew of Marinette’s past of course, it was one of the first things the bluenette had confessed to the kwami about. Tikki was supportive of the old Marinette surfacing again. She was irritated by the way her class treatedher chosen, and wanted it to be over once and for all.

That hatchet was long forgotten, although the way Marinette ruled the school went unnoticed by the imbeciles in her class.

Marinette was--still is-- the Queen of her school. When she arrived in the beginning, she was not to be taken lightly and she earned her place at the top of the food chain.

There had aways been some sort of invisible barrier between the other students and Mlle. Bustier’s class. No one could get in, mainly due to Marinette’s influence.

Everyone in the school apart form that class knew about the Queen who sat in the sidelines. Marinette had some sort of protection over that class and if anything happened to them, you’d had to answer to her.

This made many of the students stay away, although they still made friends with the class.

-

The next morning, Marinette was early. Surprising, I know. But she knew her class always sat together in the courtyard until everyone arrived, and 15 minutes before school started, they would head up to the classroom.

If anything, Marinette felt rather relieved at not having to hide her status anymore. Word had spread, and there was whispering everywhere, glances at Mlle. Bustier’s table, who didn’t notice.

Alya heard many people whispering around her.

‘I must say, I’ll be happy to see the Queen in action again. It was a golden era.’

‘I know right! I feel sorry for the poor people who invoked the wrath of the Queen though.’

The doors slammed open, ad a tall shadowy figure strutted in as if she owned the place. Lila regarded her carefully.

Once the shadowy figure took enough steps forward, she stopped. Light illuminating her features to reveal Marinette.

Gone was the happy go lucky expression on her face, replaced with a steely determination with no trace of her usual smile.

Her hair, free from her signature pigtails, flowed freely down her back, wild, as if she just came back from the club with her boyfriend.

She wore her leather jacket and ripped jeans. She wasn’t even wearing a shirt, opting for a black sports bra. She zipped her jacket up till the bottom of her bra, before letting the sleeves of the jacket fall back on her shoulders.

She was wearing black pumps, almost 6 inches tall, which made the class’ jaws drop. Clumsy Marinette wearing heels? That almost spelled disaster.

The class could’ve sworn the temperature dropped as soon as she looked in their direction. A cold smile graced her lips, which were stained a blood red.

She lifted her right arm slowly, all the while still smirking at the class.

Everyone in the courtyard slowly raised their wrists, Nino and the others included. With sick dread pooling in their stomachs, the class noted with fear that everybody except them were wearing a red hair ribbon on their wrists.

They never took it off. Kim remembered asking Ondine why she wore it, even while swimming. She had looked to him before changing the subject hastily.

Alix recalled her brother, Jali, wearing one on his wrist, before Alix had gone to school at Francois Dupont.

Marinette walked slowly towards their class, swaying her hips with the aura of cool confidence surrounding her. Lila stuck out her foot to trip Marinette, who noticed and gave Lila a smile, before stepping directly on Lila’s toes, crushing it with her heel.

Marinette grinded her heel into Lila’s foot, and she could barely keep herself from yelling. Soon, she did and the class turned on Marinette, screaming profanities at her.

Lila’s toes were now bent in ways that shouldn’t have been possible, a sickening purple color. Surprisingly, no blood was exiting the toes, and Marinette internally rolled her eyes at how careless the class thought she was.

She whispered to Lila, although the whole courtyard heard.

‘You wanna fake an injury, Lila? I’ll give you an injury.’

Alya snarled and tried to slap Marinette.

‘What is wrong with you, you bitch!’ Her hand swung out, intending to meet Marinette’s face. And though no one blinked, Marinette’s hand caught Alya’s. Her fingers wrapped around Alya’s wrist almost seductively, before she smiled.

The smile reminded of the class of the old times, when Marinette used to have fun with the class, laughing her heart out when Kim snorted milk out of his nose.

That was how the class knew Marinette enjoyed breaking Alya’s wrist.

The bluenette squeezed Alya’s wrist with surprising strength, causing Alya to let go of the phone clenched in her hand, letting it fall to the floor, where Alya’s wallpaper glowed for a soft moment, showing Alya, with an arm wrapped around Marinette, before the bluenette stepped on the phone like she did with Lila, causing the screen to shatter and Alya to call out in anguish.

That call turned into a scream as the class watched Marinette mercilessly twist Alya’s wrist, breaking it with one resonating snap.

Marinette let go and watched amusedly as Alya flailed around, grasping her broken wrist in her fine one.

Marinette watched it all with a smile on her face, an exact replica of the happy, warm smile she gave when she hung out with her friends.

The class looked around and realised that none of the students around them looked the least bit shocked when the situation was occurring.

Adrien let out a quick breath. This was what Chloe meant by Queen.

And as Marinette turned to fix her cold eyes on the class, they knew they was done for.

-

Sabrina watched from afar with Chloe, smiling sickeningly as everyone in the class took their turn to get something of theirs broken.

Marinette saved Adrien for last. He smiled charmingly at Marinette, inching backwards, trying to use the fact that she had a crush on him in his favor. As Marinette paused, he exhaled quickly, thinking it was over.

Marinette took a step back. If she were to hurt Adrien, his father would most certainly murder her and Marinette wasn’t willing to waste more time on the blonde model than she already had.

Until Adrien called out.

‘Mari this isn’t you! Come bACK TO US!’

The courtyard swiveled their heads to look at the boy and no one flinched as her heel found his stomach.

There was a smile on Marinette’s face even after Adrien lost consciousness.

its kind of a bad ending but i couldnt think of how to end it with and im sorry bc its kind of violent but i think this is okay for now

#marinette #HBIC #not my idea #okay its not mine

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lluviagf · 3 years

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🌻!!

quiero conocer a alguien q me haga sentir como el richard siken se sintió cuando dijo i couldnt get the boy to kill me but i wore his jacket for the longest time y sorry about the blood in your mouth i wish it was mine y he was pointing at the moon but I was looking at his hand y youre in a car with a beautif-

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torsamors · 4 years

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CANNOT stop thinking abt jonmartin in the apocalypse....and i cannot stop thinking about the richard siken quote ‘i couldnt get the boy to kill me, but i wore his jacket for the longest time’ in the context of apocalypse jonmartin

#tma #me not elaborating on this: ive connected something...#the magnus archives

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