#A Christmas To Dismember | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ozzgin · 4 months

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Yandere! Yakuza x Reader (IV)

Happy Holidays! Remember your plans to visit friends and family back in your home country? Scratch that. The Yakuza men have other ideas for you in this cozy Christmas special. And you finally get to meet their fearsome Boss, who has a request for you.

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5]

You stare at your phone in disbelief, rereading each line and hoping you've misunderstood the kanji. Daitou and Kazuya are quietly frowning behind you, unsure how to help in such a situation. Their lack of response only confirms it.

The brief paragraph is written in bold, red font: Due to weather conditions, all flights are cancelled until further notice. Passengers have been refunded and will need to repurchase their tickets at first convenience.

One glimpse at the last-minute prices and you're certain of it: you won't be going home for Christmas. You slouch and sigh, somewhat at peace with the idea. What else can you do? You might as well get yourself a KFC bucket and stare at the holiday lights in the city center. You and the couples taking cheesy Christmas selfies, who will later wonder about the gloomy loner behind them philosophically crunching on spicy wings.

"Don't look so defeated, (Y/N). You can just spend that time with us instead. We're not such terrible company, are we?" Kazuya jokes, trying to cheer you up.

"We could even go on a trip around New Year."

Your eyes light up in anticipation, the sadness vanishing almost instantly.

"Can we go to one of those hot spring inns? I've always wanted to visit an onsen." You put your hands together pleadingly.

"Whoa! Take me out to dinner first if you're that eager to see me naked." The blonde man winks at you smugly.

"How would I see you naked? The baths are separated, aren't they?" You inquire.

"We can't go to the regular ones." Daitou pulls his collar slightly downwards, revealing a fragment of his traditional tattoos. True. A yakuza would never be allowed among the civilians. "We'd have to book a private bath, so there wouldn't be anyone else."

You blush at the prospect of being alone with the two men. Kazuya notices your nervousness and is about to continue his teasing, but Daitou speaks before him, unbothered and oblivious:

"Besides, you've already seen me naked. I can tell you Kazuya doesn't look much different. There's nothing to be shy about."

The blonde man can only gawk, taken aback, and you shove Daitou in a flustered panic, fumbling to find an excuse or a change of subject.

He didn't have to make your business public like that, or he could've at least announced it without you being present. Judging by the blonde's speechless reaction, you're guessing he hasn't been told about your sneaky office smooching that led to the occasional sleepover. If you think about it, there's nothing shameful about being intimate with your boyfriend, but...It's not something you're fully accustomed to yet.

As promised, after the coworker incident you were soon greeted with a job offer in the neighborhood. When you went to your old office to discuss the mandatory year contract, the managers nervously handed you an approval for resignation and refused to discuss any details. You were free to go, no penalty or obligation. They had a fearful demeanor and you hoped Daitou didn't dismember anyone involved. Regardless of his means, you were now at the liberty to pursue other careers.

On the other hand, you were rather anxious about your new workplace. You had flashing visions of drug cartels and gambling parlors, with thugs rattling their drinks at you and demanding proper service. Windows breaking and masked men rolling onto the floor, armed to the brim. Ginza hostesses scurrying behind you and asking for help against an angered client. The night before your first day, you restlessly shuffled in your bed, plagued by second thoughts. What could you possibly do for the yakuza? What ghoulish demands would they prepare for you?

Daitou was the one to accompany you in the morning. He showed you to your desk, and you could discern the blurred frames of people angrily discussing matters in the opposing meeting room, separated by a large window. You gulped.

"They're building a new apartment complex two streets down." Your boyfriend mentioned casually, helping you settle with your belongings.

"Huh?"

"Oh, sorry, I thought you were curious about their talk."

"I mean, I am, but...Is that it?" You gazed at him incredulously.

"What else? This is a real estate office. Upstairs is the stock investments."

"Oh...Oh...I thought..." You were a little embarrassed. The imaginary scenarios of bloody battles and crimes that kept you awake felt quite ridiculous now.

Daitou seemed to have picked up on your assumptions, because he chuckled and ruffled your hair, following with an explanation.

"Boss is very strict with our Ninkyo-Do. If you're caught with drugs or petty theft, you're excommunicated. We used to have a bunch of gambling casinos as main income, but nowadays there's too much pressure from the police, ya know? Half of our members aren't even officially registered with the Yakuza, so they can't be tracked. We mostly do stocks and real estate. That's where the cash is.

Heh. Kinda boring, ain't it? I'm afraid you showed up way after the golden times. Even I'm too young for it. If ya want, I can ask one of the retired seniors to tell you about it. He has a lot of great stories."

You held your tongue from bringing up his frequent killing sprees and just nodded, amused by the fact that his code of conduct didn't register human casualties as wrong. The Yakuza have strict rules of ethics that set them apart from regular mafia. Depending on the Oyabun, or Head of the Family, this chivalrous way of living is reinforced to all members or conveniently swept under the rug. Daitou's Boss seemed to fit in the former category.

Therefore your "office job" turned out to be an actual office job without the quotes. Although you were often reminded the people passing by weren't your regular salarymen. Many of them were entirely transparent with you, striking up conversations about their latest arrest, or complaining about the poor quality of their pinky finger prosthetic they'd ordered from the Philippines.

But this isn't the time to reminisce. The prolonged silence is unbearable and one could fry eggs on your hot, burning cheeks. Kazuya is the one to break the awkwardness.

"Oh, yeah...You coming to the Christmas thing this evening?"

"We'll be there." Daitou smiles innocently, unaware of the discomfort he just caused.

Kazuya raises his eyebrows in surprise and looks at you.

"Did you...?"

"Yup. It's all fine." The dark haired man nods reassuringly.

"Then I'll see you at dinner, little (Y/N). Don't catch a fever with all that steam blowing out of you." He laughs at your still baffled expression and places his large hand on your head, departing.

Daitou holds the door open for you and you hurry inside. As you both walk down the hallway of the luxurious restaurant, you can't help the nagging feeling that he's once again omitted some vital information.

"Can you tell me again who else is coming? Just Kazuya?"

"Oh no, it's a Family meeting. So Boss and the rest of the Seniors, too."

You gasp in horror, but before you can scold him, you find yourself behind the canvas screen divider, facing a table of older men in suits, holding their drinks and eyeing you suspiciously.

"Oi, who the fuck is this, Daitou?" one of them growls.

"I already told you before, (Y/N). My girlfriend."

"Huh? Did you seriously just bring a civvy to our meeting? I knew you got a loose screw, boy, but this tops it all."

Daitou frowns and steps in front of you, visibly annoyed.

"If ya got a problem with my woman being here, I can settle it for you, old man. When was the last time you fought someone?"

"'s that supposed to mean?"

"It means you've gotten too comfortable sitting up there and barking orders. Let me remind you why they leave the killings to me."

The thick tension in the air is quickly dispersed by a loud, relaxed laugh. At the end of the table, a heavily scarred man with grey hair is clapping his hands in delight, seemingly amused by the events unfolding. He glances at you and pats a cushioned seat to his right.

"There you are! Come join us, miss (Y/N). Ignore those rusty grumps, they ain't seen a woman outside a host club." He throws the instigator a brief glare. "Is that any way to talk to my guest, Oota?"

The man swallows dryly and mutters an apology. He goes back to his drink, preoccupied, and the rest follow suit.

You hesitantly kneel down to your designated place, sheepishly peeking at the mysterious figure. Could it be? As if reading your mind, Daitou places an encouraging hand on your waist and lowers his head to your ear, swiftly whispering "that's Boss" before going to greet the others at the table.

"I-it's a pleasure meeting you, Sir." You mumble nervously.

"No no, pleasure is all mine. I'm Eiji Ijichi, 8th Head of our Family."

His introduction is unexpectedly warm and his easygoing way of speaking reminds you a lot of Daitou. The faintest grin threatens to appear, but you cover your mouth. With enough imagination, this could be the equivalent of meeting your in-laws. This is Daitou's family, after all. A criminally scary one, but nonetheless you've been welcomed with open arms.

"Do you drink?" The older man asks you, raising his porcelain cup.

"Naturally." You exclaim and lift your own cup enthusiastically.

"Attagirl!"

As the night progresses, the men at the table are loosening up under the influence of expensive alcohol. Kazuya seems to be caught in a terribly involved conversation with Daitou and one of their Captains, gesturing dramatically and occasionally raising his tone. You notice your glass has once again been filled by the waitress and take another sip, satisfied with observing their fun from the sidelines. Boss has a similar approach, gazing nostalgically over the rowdy group of thugs.

He reaches for his pack of smokes and you scramble to pick up the lighter, politely bowing as you light up his cigarette. He smiles at your gesture.

"I see Daitou's trained you already."

He ponders for a moment, gently blowing a cloud of smoke upwards.

"You'll make a good wife."

"Excuse me?" You question, startled by his sudden remark.

"It's hard to tell, but I'm getting pretty old myself." He snickers at his self made compliment. "Soon it'll be time to pick my successor. I have no children, unless you count that rascal I picked from the streets." He says as he tilts his chin towards Daitou.

"I love him like my own kid, but I'm sure you noticed he's a little off. Everyone is terrified of him. You can't have a leader if everyone runs away from him, ya know? I was starting to get worried I'd work myself through retirement. Kazuya can only do so much!

Then he comes up to me grinning like an idiot. I thought, 'There it is. He finally lost it', but instead he asks me if I want to see a photo of his girlfriend. Girlfriend?! I was ready to witness some crusty body pillow, my hand was on the phone to call our Family doctor. He shows me a cute foreigner standing next to him. Now I'm pretty sure he's not smart enough to fake photos like that, so it must be the real deal. 'How the Devil did ya pull this one?' I asked him. Cause listen, I was rather handsome back in my day and I still wouldn't have been this lucky.

And would ya look at that, it's the miss that moved into our apartments! How's the living conditions, by the way? Everything going fine?"

You nod energetically.

"Good, good."

He crosses his arms and nods himself, satisfied. He turns to gaze at you intently, with a face you can't quite read.

"You gotta excuse a drunk old man for rambling so much. What I'm trying to say...well...

Take care of him when he becomes the 9th, will ya? If he has you, I'm sure he'll manage. But don't tell him I said that! You gotta keep them humble. See, that's a lesson for you too. If there's one person the Head of the Family bows to, that's his wife! But I doubt he'd let the power get to his head."

You both turn to Daitou. He just finished pouring more sake to his superior and notices your stare. He blushes slightly and waves, unsure why he's suddenly being observed.

"I think so, too." You respond, waving back.

How would that look on a CV? Ane-san of a Yakuza family.

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magiccath · 4 months

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Christmas with the Doctor

Tenth Doctor x GN!reader

Summary: In which you and the Doctor celebrate Christmas

Traveling time and space constantly had one slightly annoying effect on the Doctor. He had absolutely no concept of time. Days, months, and years were but a loose concept to him. Usually, holidays just happened when he deemed fit. He would waltz into the TARDIS control room and declare that the day was special. Most of the time, you just went along with it. He did things on a whim, and Christmas was no expectation.

Just last month he decided it was time to set up a Christmas tree. The issue was, he didn’t have a tree. He had random spare robot parts, dog food (but no dog), the entire works of C.S. Lewis, two dead plants, a Santa costume, and 52 blankets hidden away on the ship. But he didn’t have a Christmas tree.

Determined to find one, he flew the TARDIS back to modern-day London without bothering to land during the correct time of year. He spent a whole day tramping about in the middle of Spring asking around for a Christmas tree. The various amounts of surprised looks and disgruntled shopkeepers explaining it was March didn’t stop him. Eventually, he found a second-hand shop that miraculously had a crappy plastic one in the back. He wasn’t too keen on the idea of an artificial tree, but it would have to do.

You had attempted to point out that he could just pop backward a few months and get a real one at the right time of year, but the Doctor’s mind didn’t think like that. To him, the simplest answer wasn’t always the right one.

Still, you’d helped him carry the big box back to the ship and held the doors open as he dragged it into the control room. You grabbed a cup of tea and leaned against the console to watch gleefully as he struggled to assemble the thing. Eventually, with the help of the Sonic, he got it all sorted out. After a few hours and lots of frustration, he had managed to set up a slightly lopsided plastic tree in the corner. Frankly, it looked a little sad.

“We need ornaments,” he frowned, circling the tree pensively.

“I don’t suppose you have those.” Considering he didn’t have a tree, it was highly unlikely that he had any other Christmas decorations.

He shook his head, “but we can make some,” he cheered, running about the TARDIS collecting various supplies. You watched him dash about with narrowed eyes, wondering what he meant by that.

He handed you a pair of scissors and a stack of construction paper, which you used to make paper chains. You sat idly, cutting and folding paper as he continued his rummaging. He’d pop out of the small storage bunkers in the floor every now and then wielding circular hardware and colorful string.

At one point, he plopped a dismembered Cyberman head on the floor with a loud clunk.

“What’s that for?” you asked, pointing with the tip of your scissors.

“Tree topper,” he smiled brightly, popping his head up from the floor, a massive grin plastered on his face.

You furrowed your brows but didn’t question it any further. Sometimes it was best to just let the Doctor do his thing. You found if you questioned things too much you typically ended up with more questions rather than answers.

Having collected everything that could pass as makeshift ornaments, the Doctor started hanging them on the limp limbs of the plastic tree. He handed you a few ‘ornaments’ and you helped him.

“I think I have some lights,” you mumbled, running off to your room. You came back a few moments later with a string of fairy lights that the Doctor helped you wrap around the tree.

When you were done, the two of you took a step back to admire your work. It was makeshift and messy at best, but it still made you smile. You looked over at the Doctor and found him grinning back at you.

“It’s perfect,” you laughed, knowing that you and the Doctor were likely the only people to ever think so. It wasn’t pretty, but it was reflective of your work together, and that was really all that mattered.

“I agree,” the Doctor smiled, picking you up and spinning you around the control room with a light-hearted laugh.

You had figured that was the rest of Christmas for a while, even if the tree remained in the corner of the control room. That was until the Doctor woke you up with a childish smile.

“It’s Christmas,” he grinned, tapping your cheek repeatedly. You frowned, eyes blurry from sleep.

“It’s what?” you grumbled, pushing yourself up on your elbow so you could glare at the Doctor.

“Christmas,” he stated, smiling at you.

“Now?” you asked, rubbing sleep from your eyes. The Doctor laughed like you had said something funny and grabbed your hand, yanking you out of bed. Too tired to protest, you allowed him to drag you out of your room and into the control room.

The lights were dimmed with a yellowish hue. In the corner, the Christmas tree sparkled. Your eyes traveled downward and saw that there was a small pile of presents underneath it. You had placed one or two parcels down there when you first set it up months ago, but the Doctor hadn’t noticed. You figured he would open them when he was ready.

The Doctor looked at you expectantly, a wide smile taking over his face. You couldn’t help but notice how adorable he was when he got excited.

“Happy Christmas,” you smiled, wrapping your arms around the Doctor’s middle.

“Happy Christmas!” he cheered back, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head. You smiled softly, grateful that the dim lighting could hide your embarrassment.

“Come on,” he ushered, running over to the tree excitedly, “open your present.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” you blushed, fiddling with your fingers anxiously. The Doctor shook his head in disagreement, “Nonsense.” He placed a brilliantly wrapped package in your hands. You took a moment to turn it over in your hands, admiring the wrapping job. It was neat and perfect, the kind of wrapping you see in Christmas movies. It didn’t seem the Doctor’s style.

“You did this?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I worked in a department store briefly.” he shrugged without further explanation, “Open it!” He explained impatiently.

As you slowly and carefully unwrapped the box, the Doctor continued talking.

“Remember when we went to that abandoned mall?” He asked, a small glint sparking in his eye.

“The one that was infested with Weeping Angels?” you added with a shiver. It was lucky that the two of you even made it out of that one. You didn’t like thinking about it too much, it was the kind of adventure that left you with nightmares.

“Right, but that’s not the point,” he shook his head vigorously. “You talked about this store almost every mall had when you were a kid,” he grinned at you excitedly, proud of himself for remembering such a small detail.

“Build-A-Bear?” you asked, sliding the rest of the wrapping paper off of the box.

“That one!” He cheered, snapping his fingers in recognition. “The one where they put the hearts in the bears.”

You nodded as you opened the box, unsure why he was bringing this up now. When you saw what was inside it became very clear. A gasp escaped your lips as your fingers ghosted around the object in the box.

“Doctor,” you cried, your eyes widening.

“It made me wonder if I could get you one with two hearts,” he grinned cheekily.

Your hands squeezed around the bear's chest, and sure enough, there were two hearts inside. “The workers looked at me like I was insane,” He laughed, “The paws are TARDIS blue too,” he pointed out.

You turned the bear over in your hands, a tear pricking your eyes.

“Do you like it?” The Doctor asked quietly, scared that it wasn’t as amazing of a gift as he had previously assumed.

“It’s perfect,” you sniffled, clutching the bear to your chest. It reminded you of the Doctor, of your home on the TARDIS. It was one of the sweetest, most thoughtful gifts that you had ever received.

You felt a surge of love and threw yourself into the Doctor’s arms, burying your face in his neck. He smelled so much like himself, a scent that had become familiar to you over time.

“Thank you,” you whispered, your warm breath fanning his skin. The Doctor beamed, more than happy that he could make you happy. He could feel his hearts quickening and hoped that you wouldn’t notice.

“I’m glad,” he smiled softly, resting his head in your hair.

“This puts my gift to shame,” you groaned, pulling away.

The Doctor looked at you with interest as you fished out your poorly wrapped parcel from under the tree. Compared to the Doctor’s it was a mess - pieces of tape all over, and the paper was more crinkled together than folded.

“That’s for me?” He asked, shocked that you had gotten him anything. He looked at the parcel like it was the best-wrapped present in the world.

“Yes, you stupid spaceman,” you teased, handing him the present. He looked down at it with love, running his fingers across the smooth wrapping paper. He couldn’t remember the last time someone got him a present.

“Go on, open it,” you urged, leaning closer to him with an expectant grin.

Carefully, so as not to rip the paper, the Doctor unwrapped the small box. Then, he gently lifted the top to reveal his present. Inside, there were three silken ties with stunning patterns etched into the fabric.

“I got them when we went to that space market,” you explained, “I figured you could use some new ones.”

“They’re silk,” he gasped, his hands brushing over the fabric lightly.

You nodded meekly, “A bit nicer than your usual ones.”

The Doctor looked up at you with a lopsided grin, his hand still running over one of the ties.

“Help me put it on?” He asked. You laughed, finding the request obscure since he was in pajamas. It felt silly to put a silk tie on over a sleep shirt.

“Sure,” you said anyway, taking the tie from his hands. He had picked out the dark blue one, and if you looked closely you could see delicate ivy leaves patterned on the fabric. Your fingers worked gently and nimbly to knot the tie around his neck, sliding it up gently.

“There,” you smiled, patting it down so it lay flat.

The Doctor knew how to tie his own ties. Frankly, he was probably better at it than you. Even still, any chance he got he asked you to do it for him. He’d never admit it, but he liked the proximity of it. Even more, he liked how you bit your lip in concentration as you delicately knotted the fabric together.

“How do I look?”

“Handsome,” you smiled brightly. You could have sworn you imagined a rose-colored blush spreading across his cheeks at your compliment, but he turned away before you could be sure.

“Thank you,” he smiled, taking your hand so he could cradle it gently.

“You’re very welcome,” you whispered, looking down in embarrassment.

“How about breakfast?” He asked, already excited to move on to the next activity. You watched wide-eyed as he jumped up from his seat, offering a hand to you.

“You made breakfast?” you asked, eyes narrowing. The last time he tried to cook he forgot about the oven and burned the TARDIS kitchen down. The time before that, he left cookies in for way too long and made them all kinds of crispy.

He nodded, “proper English breakfast. Not burned this time.”

“Really?” you raised an eyebrow, not wanting to get your hopes up.

“Yes,” he laughed, wiggling his outstretched fingers at you. Taking the hint, you grabbed his hand to follow him.

Sure enough, he had managed to make breakfast without burning anything. Anything that you could see or smell, that is.

“How did you..?” you asked with amazement, looking down at the perfectly cooked meal in front of you. The Doctor just winked in response, leaving you wondering where the food really came from.

“Also!” He said, cutting off your questioning thoughts. “I found Christmas crackers!” He exclaimed cheerfully, brandishing two bright red crackers in his hands.

“I love Christmas crackers!” you gasped, taking one from his hand. The Doctor smiled to himself, he knew you did, that’s why he got them.

“Come on!” you grinned, holding out one end to the Doctor, “help me open it.”

The Doctor smiled himself, it was hard not to when you were this happy. He helped you pull open both crackers. He even let you put one of the silly paper crowns on him.

“They’re the best part,” you smiled, sliding one on top of his head. The Doctor looked up at you with thinly veiled adoration.

“Are they?” He asked with a lopsided smile.

You blushed and nodded before plopping back down in your seat, already scooping bits of food onto your fork.

“Thank you for this,” you whispered, looking down into your food.

“For what?” The Doctor laughed.

“All of this,” you said, gesturing with your fork, “the tree, the present, the crackers.”

“It was nothing,” The Doctor shook his head. To him, it really wasn’t much. He would do anything for you, making sure you had a good Christmas was just a small service.

“Thank you anyway,” you grinned, taking his hand gently. The Doctor smiled softly back at you and rubbed his thumb against the back of your hand comfortingly.

“Best Christmas ever,” you beamed happily, and you meant it.

A/N: I hope you all have a wonderful holiday!!

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erik-even-wordier · 1 year

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I really don’t owe my Trump-supporting friends an apology. I’ve been critical of Trump these last several years, and am still exhausted from the experience.

But to be fair, Trump wasn’t that bad…………..other than when:

1. he incited an insurrection against the government,

2. mismanaged a pandemic that killed a million Americans,

3. separated children from their families, lost those children in the bureaucracy,

4. tear-gassed peaceful protesters on Lafayette Square so he could hold a photo op holding a Bible in front of a church,

5. tried to block all Muslims from entering the country,

6. got impeached,

7. got impeached again,

8. had the worst jobs record of any president in modern history,

9. pressured Ukraine to dig dirt on Joe Biden,

10. fired the FBI director for investigating his ties to Russia,

11. bragged about firing the FBI director on TV,

12. took Vladimir Putin’s word over the US intelligence community,

13. diverted military funding to build his wall,

14. caused the longest government shutdown in US history,

15. called Black Lives Matter a “symbol of hate,”

16. lied nearly 30,000 times,

17. banned transgender people from serving in the military,

18. ejected reporters from the White House briefing room who asked tough questions,

19. vetoed the defense funding bill because it renamed military bases named for Confederate soldiers,

20. refused to release his tax returns,

21. increased the national debt by nearly $8 trillion,

22. had three of the highest annual trade deficits in U.S. history,

23. called veterans and soldiers who died in combat losers and suckers,

24. coddled the leader of Saudi Arabia after he ordered the execution and dismembering of a US-based journalist,

25. refused to concede the 2020 election,

26. hired his unqualified daughter and son-in-law to work in the White House,

27. walked out of an interview with Lesley Stahl,

28. called neo-Nazis “very fine people,”

29. suggested that people should inject bleach into their bodies to fight COVID,

30. abandoned our allies the Kurds to Turkey,

31. pushed through massive tax cuts for the wealthiest but balked at helping working Americans,

32. incited anti-lockdown protestors in several states at the height of the pandemic,

33. withdrew the US from the Paris climate accords,

34. withdrew the US from the Iranian nuclear deal,

35. withdrew the US from the Trans Pacific Partnership which was designed to block China’s advances,

36. insulted his own Cabinet members on Twitter,

37. pushed the leader of Montenegro out of the way during a photo op,

38. failed to reiterate US commitment to defending NATO allies,

39. called Haiti and African nations “shithole” countries,

40. called the city of Baltimore the “worst in the nation,”

41. claimed that he single handedly brought back the phrase “Merry Christmas” even though it hadn’t gone anywhere,

42. forced his Cabinet members to praise him publicly like some cult leader,

43. believed he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize,

44. berated and belittled his hand-picked Attorney General when he recused himself from the Russia probe,

45. suggested the US should buy Greenland,

46. colluded with Mitch McConnell to push through federal judges and two Supreme Court justices after supporting efforts to prevent his predecessor from appointing judges,

47. repeatedly called the media “enemies of the people,”

48. claimed that if we tested fewer people for COVID we’d have fewer cases,

49. violated the emoluments clause,

50. thought that Nambia was a country,

51. told Bob Woodward in private that the coronavirus was a big deal but then downplayed it in public,

52. called his exceedingly faithful vice president a “p---y” for following the Constitution,

53. nearly got us into a war with Iran after threatening them by tweet,

54. nominated a corrupt head of the EPA,

55. nominated a corrupt head of HHS,

56. nominated a corrupt head of the Interior Department,

57. nominated a corrupt head of the USDA,

58. praised dictators and authoritarians around the world while criticizing allies,

59. refused to allow the presidential transition to begin,

60. insulted war hero John McCain – even after his death,

61. spent an obscene amount of time playing golf after criticizing Barack Obama for playing (far less) golf while president,

62. falsely claimed that he won the 2016 popular vote,

63. called the Muslim mayor of London a “stone cold loser,”

64. falsely claimed that he turned down being Time’s Man of the Year,

65. considered firing special counsel Robert Mueller on several occasions,

66. mocked wearing face masks to guard against transmitting COVID,

67. locked Congress out of its constitutional duty to confirm Cabinet officials by hiring acting ones,

68. used a racist dog whistle by calling COVID the “China virus,”

69. hired and associated with numerous shady figures that were eventually convicted of federal offenses including his campaign manager and national security adviser,

70. pardoned several of his shady associates,

71. gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to two congressmen who amplified his batshit crazy conspiracy theories,

72. got into telephone fight with the leader of Australia(!),

73. had a Secretary of State who called him a moron,

74. forced his press secretary to claim without merit that his was the largest inauguration crowd in history,

75. botched the COVID vaccine rollout,

76. tweeted so much dangerous propaganda that Twitter eventually banned him,

77. charged the Secret Service jacked-up rates at his properties,

78. constantly interrupted Joe Biden in their first presidential debate,

79. claimed that COVID would “magically” disappear,

80. called a U.S. Senator “Pocahontas,”

81. used his Twitter account to blast Nordstrom when it stopped selling Ivanka’s merchandise,

82. opened up millions of pristine federal lands to development and drilling,

83. got into a losing tariff war with China that forced US taxpayers to bail out farmers,

84. claimed that his losing tariff war was a win for the US,

85. ignored or didn’t even take part in daily intelligence briefings,

86. blew off honoring American war dead in France because it was raining,

87. redesigned Air Force One to look like the Trump Shuttle,

88. got played by Kim Jung Un and his “love letters,”

89. threatened to go after social media companies in clear violation of the Constitution,

90. botched the response to Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico,

91. threw paper towels at Puerto Ricans when he finally visited them,

92. pressured the governor and secretary of state of Georgia to “find” him votes,

93. thought that the Virgin islands had a President,

94. drew on a map with a Sharpie to justify his inaccurate tweet that Alabama was threatened by a hurricane,

95. allowed White House staff to use personal email accounts for official businesses after blasting Hillary Clinton for doing the same thing,

96. rolled back regulations that protected the public from mercury and asbestos,

97. pushed regulators to waste time studying snake-oil remedies for COVID,

98. rolled back regulations that stopped coal companies from dumping waste into rivers,

99. held blatant campaign rallies at the White House,

100. tried to take away millions of Americans’ health insurance because the law was named for a Black man,

101. refused to attend his successors’ inauguration,

102. nominated the worst Education Secretary in history,

103. threatened judges who didn’t do what he wanted,

104. attacked Dr. Anthony Fauci,

105. promised that Mexico would pay for the wall (it didn’t),

106. allowed political hacks to overrule government scientists on major reports on climate change and other issues,

107. struggled navigating a ramp after claiming his opponent was feeble,

108. called an African-American Congresswoman “low IQ,”

109. threatened to withhold federal aid from states and cities with Democratic leaders,

110. went ahead with rallies filled with maskless supporters in the middle of a pandemic,

111. claimed that legitimate investigations of his wrongdoing were “witch hunts,”

112. seemed to demonstrate a belief that there were airports during the American Revolution,

113. demanded “total loyalty” from the FBI director,

114. praised a conspiracy theory that Democrats are Satanic pedophiles,

115. completely gutted the Voice of America,

116. placed a political hack in charge of the Postal Service,

117. claimed without evidence that the Obama administration bugged Trump Tower,

118. suggested that the US should allow more people from places like Norway into the country,

119. suggested that COVID wasn’t that bad because he recovered with the help of top government doctors and treatments not available to the public,

120. overturned energy conservation standards that even industry supported,

121. reduced the number of refugees the US accepts,

122. insulted various members of Congress and the media with infantile nicknames,

123. gave Rush Limbaugh a Presidential medal of Freedom at the State of the Union address,

124. named as head of federal personnel a 29-year old who’d previously been fired from the White House for allegations of financial improprieties,

125. eliminated the White House office of pandemic response,

126. used soldiers as campaign props,

127. fired any advisor who made the mistake of disagreeing with him,

128. demanded the Pentagon throw him a Soviet-style military parade,

129. hired a shit ton of white nationalists,

130. politicized the civil service,

131. did absolutely nothing after Russia hacked the U.S. government,

132. falsely said the Boy Scouts called him to say his bizarre Jamboree speech was the best speech ever given to the Scouts,

133. claimed that Black people would overrun the suburbs if Biden won,

134. insulted reporters of color,

135. insulted women reporters,

136. insulted women reporters of color,

137. suggested he was fine with China’s oppression of the Uighurs,

138. attacked the Supreme Court when it ruled against him,

139. summoned Pennsylvania state legislative leaders to the White House to pressure them to overturn the election,

140. spent countless hours every day watching Fox News,

141. refused to allow his administration to comply with Congressional subpoenas,

142. hired Rudy Giuliani as his lawyer,

143. tried to punish Amazon because the Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post wrote negative stories about him,

144. acted as if the Attorney General of the United States was his personal attorney,

145. attempted to get the federal government to defend him in a libel lawsuit from a prominent lady who accused him of sexual assault,

146. held private meetings with Vladimir Putin without staff present,

147. didn’t disclose his private meetings with Vladimir Putin so that the US had to find out via Russian media,

148. stopped holding press briefings for months at a time,

149. “ordered” US companies to leave China even though he has no such power,

150. led a political party that couldn’t even be bothered to draft a policy platform,

151. claimed preposterously that Article II of the Constitution gave him absolute powers,

152. tried to pressure the U.K. to hold the British Open at his golf course,

153. suggested that the government nuke hurricanes,

154. suggested that wind turbines cause cancer,

155. said that he had a special aptitude for science,

156. fired the head of election cyber security after he said that the 2020 election was secure,

157. blurted out classified information to Russian officials,

158. tried to force the G7 to hold their meeting at his failing golf resort in Florida,

159. fired the acting attorney general when she refused to go along with his unconstitutional Muslim travel ban,

160. hired notorious racist Stephen Miller,

161. openly discussed national security issues in the dining room at Mar-a-Lago where everyone could hear them,

162. interfered with plans to relocate the FBI because a new development there might compete with his hotel,

163. abandoned Iraqi refugees who’d helped the U.S. during the war,

164. tried to get Russia back into the G7,

165. held a COVID super spreader event in the Rose Garden,

166. seemed to believe that Frederick Douglass is still alive,

167. lost 60 election fraud cases in court including before judges he had nominated,

168. falsely claimed that factories were reopening when they weren’t,

169. shamelessly exploited terror attacks in Europe to justify his anti-immigrant policies,

170. still hasn’t come up with a healthcare plan,

171. still hasn’t come up with an infrastructure plan despite repeated “Infrastructure Weeks,”

172. forced Secret Service agents to drive him around Walter Reed while contagious with COVID,

173. told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by,”

174. fucked up the Census,

175. withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization in the middle of a pandemic,

176. did so few of his duties that his press staff were forced to state on his daily schedule “President Trump will work from early in the morning until late in the evening. He will make many calls and have many meetings,”

177. allowed his staff to repeatedly violate the Hatch Act,

178. seemed not to know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican,

179. stood before sacred CIA wall of heroes and bragged about his election win,

180. constantly claimed he was treated worse than any president which presumably includes four that were assassinated and his predecessor whose legitimacy and birthplace were challenged by a racist reality TV show star named Donald Trump,

181. claimed Andrew Jackson could’ve stopped the Civil War even though he died 16 years before it happened,

182. said that any opinion poll showing him behind was fake,

183. claimed that other countries laughed at us before he became president when several world leaders were literally laughing at him,

184. claimed that the military was out of ammunition before he became President,

185. created a commission to whitewash American history,

186. retweeted anti-Islam videos from one of the most racist people in Britain,

187. claimed ludicrously that the Pulse nightclub shooting wouldn’t have happened if someone there had a gun even though there was an armed security guard there,

188. hired a senior staffer who cited the non-existent Bowling Green Massacre as a reason to ban Muslims,

189. had a press secretary who claimed that Nazi Germany never used chemical weapons even though every sane human being knows they used gas to kill millions of Jews and others,

190. bilked the Secret Service for higher than market rates when they had to stay at Trump properties,

191. apparently sold pardons on his way out of the White House,

192. stripped protective status from 59,000 Haitians,

193. falsely claimed Biden wanted to defund the police,

194. said that the head of the CDC didn’t know what he was talking about,

195. tried to rescind protection from DREAMers,

196. gave himself an A+ for his handling of the pandemic,

197. tried to start a boycott of Goodyear tires due to an Internet hoax,

198. said U.S. rates of COVID would be lower if you didn’t count blue states,

199. deported U.S. veterans who served their country but were undocumented,

200. claimed he did more for African Americans than any president since Lincoln,

201. touted a “super-duper” secret “hydrosonic” missile which may or may not be a new “hypersonic” missile or may not exist at all,

202. retweeted a gif calling Biden a pedophile,

203. forced through security clearances for his family,

204. suggested that police officers should rough up suspects,

205. suggested that Biden was on performance-enhancing drugs,

206. tried to stop transgender students from being able to use school bathrooms in line with their gender,

207. suggested the US not accept COVID patients from a cruise ship because it would make US numbers look higher,

208. nominated a climate change sceptic to chair the committee advising the White House on environmental policy,

209. retweeted a video doctored to look like Biden

210. had played a song called “Fuck tha Police” at a campaign event,

211. hugged a disturbingly large number of U.S. flags,

212. accused Democrats of “treason” for not applauding his State of the Union address,

213. claimed that the FBI failed to capture the Parkland school shooter because they were “spending too much time” on Russia,

214. mocked the testimony of Dr Christine Blasey Ford when she accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault,

215. obsessed over low-flow toilets,

216. ordered the rerelease of more COVID vaccines when there weren’t any to release,

217. called for the construction of a bizarre garden of heroes with statutes of famous dead Americans as well as at least one Canadian (Alex Trebek),

218. hijacked Washington’s July 4th celebrations to give a partisan speech,

219. took advice from the MyPillow guy,

220. claimed that migrants seeking a better life in the US were dangerous caravans of drug dealers and rapists,

221. said nothing when Vladimir Putin poisoned a leading opposition figure,

222. never seemed to heed the advice of his wife’s “Be Best” campaign,

223. falsely claimed that mail-in voting is fraudulent,

224. announced a precipitous withdrawal of troops from Syria which not only handed Russia and ISIS a win but also prompted his defense secretary to resign in protest,

225. insulted the leader of Canada,

226. insulted the leader of France,

227. insulted the leader of Britain,

228. insulted the leader of Germany,

229. insulted the leader of Sweden (Sweden!!),

230. falsely claimed credit for getting NATO members to increase their share of dues,

231. blew off two Asia summits even though they were held virtually,

232. continued lying about spending lots of time at Ground Zero with 9/11 responders,

233. said that the Japanese would sit back and watch their “Sony televisions” if the US were ever attacked,

234. left a NATO summit early in a huff,

235. stared directly into an eclipse even though everyone over the age of 5 knows not to do that,

236. called himself a very stable genius despite significant evidence to the contrary,

237. refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power and kept his promise.

238. Don’t forget that he took many classified & top secret documents with him when he left the White House, many of which have not been recovered & may have been compromised.

I’m sure there are a whole bunch of other things I can’t remember at the moment.

Plz copy and paste. Whoever wrote this deserves credit but I don't know who it is.

#donald trump #popular #long post

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jerzwriter · 4 months

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A Little Holiday Cheer

Happy Holidays!

@lilyoffandoms had no idea what they were creating when they wrote a tiny drabble about these three sets of loons. Since then, Lily, Dani (@storyofmychoices), and I have expanded on their hijinx, and it just gets more fun with time. I asked the lovely, talented, and all-around amazing @/artbyainna (IG) to create this commemoration not only of the friendship between Ethan, Merida, Bryce, Olivia, Casey & Tobias but, more importantly, the friendship between us! 😊 As always, she MORE than delivered! I hope this brings you a little smile.

Book: Open Heart Pairings: Ethan Ramsey x Merida (@lilyoffandoms), Bryce Lahela x Olivia (@storyofmychoices), and Tobias Carrick x Casey (mine!) Rating: Teen Words: 825 Summary: It all started at Ethan & Merida's place, so it's only fitting that we go back there again!

There was something about this time of year... even the mundane seemed to morph into magic, and tonight's gathering of friends was no exception. While the robust aroma of lasagna competed with the sweet scent of sugar cookies baking in the second oven, neither managed to diffuse the fragrant pine from the Christmas tree. Music served only as a background to the laughter and lively chatter, but while Bryce and Olivia were too engaged in the conversation.. and each other... to notice the music shift from soulful renditions of holiday standards back to melodic strings and woodwinds, Merida didn’t miss a beat. Resplendent in her holiday attire, she halted slicing provolone for the charcuterie board long enough to shoot Ethan a menacing glare.

“Ethan Jonah Ramsey, so help me God! If you turn Stevie off to put The Nutcracker back on one more time, I will not be responsible for my actions!”

“I’d be careful,” Bryce advised. “She is holding an exceptionally large knife.”

Ethan started to open his mouth, then thought better of it. With a quick flick of the wrist, “That’s What Christmas Means to Me My Love” blared through the air once more.

“What did it?” Olivia teased. “Knowing you were outnumbered, or the large knife?”

Ethan leaned against the counter, popped a piece of chorizo in his mouth, and shrugged. “It’s the season of goodwill. Let's go with that.” His half-smile quickly retreated when Merida slapped his hand.

“There will be no goodwill in this house if you keep sneaking food! You have to wait until all of our guests arrive.”

A sigh tinged with frustration escaped him. “I fail to see why we all need to starve because Carrick is late... again.”

“Technically, he’s not late,” Olivia advised.

“She’s right,” Merida agreed. “It’s only seven-fifty, and dinner starts at eight. They have ten minutes before we can declare them late.”

Ethan turned to her with astonishment. “But I was there when you told him to be here at seven!”

“Yes,” Merida said matter-of-factly. “I told him that to ensure they’d be here by eight.”

“But since it's Tobias and Casey we're talking about,” Bryce interjected. “You probably should have told them six."

"True," Olivia nodded, biting into a fluffy cheese puff. “Knowing Casey, she’ll want to redo her hair and makeup.”

Ethan raised his eyebrows in disbelief as Merida smiled. “What?” she asked.

“Olivia is eating a cheese puff and not an ounce of chastisement from you... but I sneak a sliver of sausage, and you considered dismemberment!”

“Ethan...Olivia is a guest! Besides, she’s too cute to dismember.”

The doorbell rang, and the friends looked at their phones at 7:58 PM.

“Wow! They’re early!” Bryce exclaimed. “And they say Christmas miracles are a thing of the past!”

“Great,” Merida laughed as she wiped her hands with a dish towel. “That means they probably didn’t get it all out of their systems, and they’ll be horny on main all night.”

“And that would be different from every other time... how?” Bryce laughed.

Merida scurried down the hallway, high heels clicking, but her irritated boyfriend beat her to the door, swinging it open to find Tobias planting kisses on a giggling Casey’s neck.

“Do you two ever stop?”

“What?” Tobias protested with a sheepish grin. “We weren’t doing anything. We were just stuck in....”

“TRAFFIC!” The four friends shouted.

“That is what they call it these days,” Olivia winked, all too proud of herself. "Aren't they?"

“Hey! You can’t blame us,” Casey said, tossing her fuzzy coat over Ethan’s unextended arm. “Boston is just filled with traffic!”

“Mmmhmmm,” Merida greeted her friend with a warm embrace. “And you two are always without GPS.”

“That’s right,” Casey smiled. “We prefer to go by... feel.”

“Can we send them home now?” Ethan groaned.

But Merida and Casey were already halfway down the hall, linked arm-in-arm and giggling like schoolgirls. Ethan jumped when Tobias’s hand landed on his shoulder with a thud.

“You were saying, buddy?”

Running a hand down his face, Ethan surrendered. “Olivia is right. I’m outnumbered.”

Moments later, the couples were assembled around the kitchen table, with wine generously poured. Ethan happily partook in cured meats as he endured one too many jokes about salami from his best-freinemy.

“Tobias, I swear, you never escaped adolescence.”

“Was that something we were supposed to escape?”

Bryce raised his glass with a smile. “Only during working hours!”

“And these are not working hours,” Merida gleefully stated. “A toast... to friends, who have become family.”

“And by family, she means you’re inescapable!” Ethan grinned.

“Just like adolescence,” Casey beamed, clinking her glass with the others.

Merida set her eyes on Ethan’s, a radiant smile on her lips. “And would you have it any other way?”

Wrapping his arm around her waist he pulled her close. "No," he beamed. "Despite each of you, save Olivia, causing me more grey hairs by the moment... I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Several drinks in, you know they started teasing Tobias about his "Ho-Ho-Ho" sweater. Everyone except Olivia, who wasn't sure what they meant until Bryce whispered it in her ear. Merida and Casey quickly agreed to corrupt the poor dear much more before their New Year's Eve gathering!

Happy Holidays! :)

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanart @openheartfanfics

@choicesholidays "I'm Thankful for You"

@choicesdecember2023 Christmas

Tagging others separately.

#choices fanfic #choices fanart #open heart #open heart choices #ethan ramsey #ethan x merida #bryce lahela #bryce x olivia #tobias carrick #tobias x casey #playchoices #choices stories you play #open heart fanfic #open heart fanart #christmas #holiday fics #holiday art #choices openheart

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rebelfell · 6 months

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Another Halloween-esque blurb. Eddie has you over for a movie night and the film is not exactly your cup of tea. Light spoilers for the movie Gremlins if (like me) you never saw it and assumed it was entirely different than it actually is.

No smut, just fluff. 🎃 18+ MDNI for my own peace of mind.

You couldn’t help but frown at the VHS from Family Video sitting in the middle of the coffee table that was laden with snacks. The genre on the box was clearly marked as “Horror” but the title was throwing you for a loop.

“Isn’t this a Christmas movie?”

The sound of Eddie microwaving popcorn in the kitchen ceased abruptly. He stared back at you, trying to keep his expression neutral, but unable to stop his eyes from twinkling with mischief.

Maybe you should have guessed something was up from that alone.

“You…haven’t seen it?” he asked slowly.

You shook your head, silently digging around in your brain for some context. The movie had come out a couple years prior, but you’d never bothered going to see it because you thought it looked like it was for kids. You didn’t even really remember hearing much about it when it came out, only thinking the little white and brown creature on the poster was kind of cute.

It wasn’t even familiar as one of Eddie’s favorites. You’d had enough movie nights with him to know what to expect as his typical fare, but this choice seemed oddly mild. Early on, he said he needed carte blanche for the month of October, rattling off all the slasher flicks he wanted to expose you to. Reluctantly, you’d agreed, the trade-off being that you would get the month of December so you could watch all the warm, cozy feel-good movies you loved wrapped up in his arms.

You only knew that whenever you called him a “gremlin” for doing something silly like eating handfuls of dry cereal straight from the box, he would grin and make a high-pitched gurgling sound in the back of his throat that, admittedly, was kind of adorable. And you knew the raccoon who hung out under the trailer (thanks to Eddie’s habit of “accidentally” leaving out food for him) had been affectionately named Gizmo, ostensibly after the creature in the movie.

Eddie grinned as he walked over with the freshly popped bowl of popcorn, the salty smell of the fake butter almost an aphrodisiac at this point. He loved scary movies anyway and he loved them even more when they made you cower, snuggling impossibly tight into his side and hiding your face in his chest so the scent of your hair wafted in his nose as he kissed the top of your head.

“Humor me, sweetheart,” he hummed, slotting into his usual spot on the couch and patting the space next to him with an eager smile.

Again, you should have known.

“Eddie, what the fuck are we watching?!”

You glowered at him from behind your hands you’d held up to shield yourself from seeing what was happening on the screen. The cute little story you’d been watching about some sweet, furry creatures had gone into rapid decline—first with them cocooning into gross, monstrous versions of themselves, and then with the mother straight up annihilating a group of them. You’d argued that she had to be a sleeper agent or something because no way did a regular-ass suburban mom just “come up” with the horrific ways she found to dismember them on the spot.

Beside you, Eddie was euphoric. He was grinning like an idiot and shaking from the effort it took not to laugh his ass off at the abrupt turnaround of your reaction. It already took everything he had in him not to cackle at the way you cooed over how cute Gizmo was and laughed gleefully at the weird popping noises he made when he got wet and started multiplying, shooting off little balls of fluff. But now, as the movie descended into the chaos only he knew was coming, it was getting harder and harder for him not to double over.

He slipped his arms around you, playfully trying to tug down your hands. “You gotta watch, baby, don’t you wanna know what happens?” he teased you mercilessly.

“I know what happens! The gremlins do some more horrible shit!”

“Come on,” he prodded you with his elbow. “Gizmo’s still cute, isn’t he?”

“No! All he has to do is nibble on something after midnight and he’ll be just as bad as the rest of them! I don’t trust his little face one bit!”

That sent Eddie reeling. He clutched at his stomach, laughter now pouring out of him in big guffaws. You landed a sharp smack on his thigh, but it did nothing to quell his raucous laughter.

“Stop laughing at me! You knew this would happen! You set me up!”

“Okay, okay,” he says, still struggling to regain his breath. You glare at him harder and he inhales as steadily as he’s able. “I’m sorry. I swear, I’m done. C’mere, I’ll protect you.”

You arch your brow warily, but settle back into your seat and let him slip his arm around you in a snug embrace. An eerie synth version of Silent Night plays over the action on the screen, sure to score your nightmares later. Maybe you’ll just have to keep Eddie up all night for revenge.

“I’m picking all the movies for the rest of the year,” you declared, huffing as you nestled in closer against him. He curled his arm tighter around your shoulders, his chest starting to shake again from trying to hold back giggles at how fucking cute you were when you got mad.

“Sure you are, baby,” he cooed, pressing his lips to your temple with a wet smack.

#happy all hallows eve eve #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson stranger things #my st fics

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bloodyknucklesforme · 2 months

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Drag My Teeth Across Your Beating Heart | Carnal XV

Carnal (adjective) : relating to or given to crude bodily pleasures and appetites

Simon was born with what his father called 'The Curse'. A wanton craving for taboo meat. Since meeting the similarly cursed Johnny, the two had formed a bond. They didn't just fight together, they ate together, slept together, and shared everything.

When a favor to Price reveals another cursed person, Simon worries she could destroy everything.

Masterpost

CW: cannibalism, smut, voyeurism

This is very much a horror fic mostly based around the films Raw (2017) and Bones and All (2022), if you sit through those you should be good here. This is my first horror fic.

Chapter Title Credit: Howl - Florence + The Machine

Body disposal isn't hard, not for Simon. It was a ritual. One passed down from his father.

Disfigure

Dismember

Dispose

As easy as any prayer. On his knees, a rag over his mouth and nose, a saw in hand. A ritual like any other. This time it felt like mass without the sacrament. Nothing to slip into his mouth, no savior, no priest.

He’d never been one for church. His mum had dragged him and Tommy a couple times mostly for Christmas and Easter Sunday. The only days that mattered. They’d been baptized Catholic because that’s what his father was raised as but never did any of the following sacraments. They’d stopped going by the time he was ten and he stopped believing in any possibility of a God after that first meal with his father.

He had a new religion. Led by his father. He supposed all fathers are god in a sense. That’s what it felt like the first time they ate together. Divine Salvation.

The stable smelled like rot. It was cold enough that the body hadn’t started to turn to sludge but the smell was acrid. He stripped his clothes and left them folded on a table in the tack room. Skin is easier to clean than cloth.

As many pieces as possible. Start with the joints and a brick, smash until the bones break then cut through the flesh. Humans are fragile. His father had taught him that at a young age. Even the smooth leather of a belt could cut skin if struck hard enough. Soft skin made him feel vulnerable. Calluses were armor.

He liked soft on others. Spilling between his fingers. Made him feel powerful. A show of strength to hold something fragile and not break it apart.

Nina looked soft, like the flesh of her neck would mold into his hands. His arm had wrapped around her waist so fittingly.

Johnny still had soft parts. Thighs, neck, arse. His favorite position was Johnny on his back, thighs wrapped around his waist. Simon would grip his arse like it held him to earth. Simon’s teeth would drag against Johnny’s throat. He’d cum inside him and Johnny’s spend would slick between them.

When Johnny asked Simon to bite him last Summer, it twisted something nasty in his stomach. The monster he’d always fought down reared its head. The same monster that controlled his father. The one that took control in Mexico all those years ago.

He hacked and hacked at the body. The smaller the parts the better. The harder to reconstruct, the easier to scatter. He’d seen crows nearby. He could feed them over the winter with this. Simon never liked waste.

He took a hammer to the teeth, porcelain pieces. Tips of the fingers cut off. No tattoos to skin off this time. Man to meat.

It took several hours. The floor of the stall was covered in blood. He was covered in blood. There was a hose, still working. He gathered the meat into a cooler and sprayed down the stall and then himself. He paced the stable, keeping his blood warm while he dried off.

There was something sweet in the air. Straw and glass, brown with Nina’s blood from the other day. Johnny’s scent was mixed in there too. She’d been wearing his clothes at the time. His cock twitched. He smacked the side of his face to snap himself back.

Gathered his clothes and walked back to the house. He heard them as he stepped inside. Johnny’s hurried babbling and Nina’s moans. He quietly took his boots off and crept towards the sound. It was wrong, yes. Hearing Johnny again made his blood hot.

There was a mirror on the wall opposite them. From his angle in the hall, he could watch unseen. They were mostly clothed, only a small disappointment. His cock strained against his jeans.

They looked good together. Like something meant to be. Even with Johnny’s lack of experience he could work her up well. Simon watched the muscles in her back stretch, sweat glide down her back. He wanted to walk in, lick it off. Slip his hand between her legs. Tell Johnny what to do, how to touch her. He wanted to show her where to nip and where to kiss. Johnny fell apart whenever Simon’s teeth grazed where his jaw met his ear.

She was crying Johnny’s name. Johnny stared up at her with glazed eyes, the same eyes that used to look at him. Those eyes flicked to the mirror and Simon took a step back. He crept back down the hall and outside. He walked back to the stable.

He found himself by the pile of bloodied straw and glass. He grabbed a handful of straw and held it near his face, breathing in. He fumbled with his zipper and button, haphazardly pulling his cock out.

His fantasies were a crowded mess of bodies, sweat and cum. Nina and Johnny’s smell mixing with his, herby and sweet. All the positions they could arrange themselves in. Take turns riding and fucking. He wanted Nina to sit on his face while Johnny rode him. Fuck Johnny while he buried his face into Nina’s cunt.

Simon groaned, cum mixing with the mess on the floor in front of him. He sighed, shaking his hand off. He’d have to wash the floor again.

He stood, looking at the floor, the smell making his eyes roll back. He wanted the three of them to be together. He would make it happen. He tried being the lone wolf. Separate himself from Johnny but look at what had happened. They both needed him. Johnny can’t hunt on his own and Nina seemed incapable of it entirely. He’d have to teach them both. Keep them alive.

They’d have this house, some place to stay. No more shitty hotels and hostels or car back seats. He could outfit the cellar to better butcher meat.He never told Johnny but he didn’t even have a flat himself. Any leave had him traveling around, hunting and camping. They’d never go hungry. It could be good. Something stable.

He thought about his family. The ones he failed. He could still smell them, his stomach twisting while his mouth watered. He made a vow that night. He was the only one allowed to eat his loved ones. It was only right. His right. He’d failed them. He wouldn’t fail Johnny or Nina.

He made dinner that night. Steak cooked with garlic, butter and thyme. The smell dragged both Johnny and Nina out of their bedrooms and to him. Nina’s hair was still damp from her shower. Made the whole house smell like vanilla.

“Nina,” he said after they’d all sat down. She looked up from her plate. Her chair was touching Johnny’s. Simon laid a hand on Johnny’s thigh, earning a side glance. “I want to teach you how to hunt.”

“When?” She asked through a mouthful of food.

“This weekend.”

“Si-” Johnny attempted to interrupt.

“Do you want to learn?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” he smiled.

Tag list: @gogh-with-the-flow @queen-ilmaree @cathnoneofyourbusiness @pssytrux

#Carnal #simon ghost riley x oc #simon ghost riley x john soap mactavish #ghostsoap #modern warfare II #modern warfare #call of duty fanfic #call of duty #john soap mactavish #John soap mactavish x oc #soapghost #simon ghost riley #ghost x soap #dark fic #ghoap

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eschergirls · 4 months

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I saw this ad for Sexy Christmas Sirens (which, disappointingly, is apparently not a game about beautiful singing women who lure wayward sleighs to their doom) and I thought the brunette's legs looked wonky so I found 2 versions without the text blocking her legs and ... I think she's a serial killer displaying her collection of dismembered legs from her previous victims.

Maybe she is actually a siren after all.

(Ads for Sexy Christmas Sirens, Naga Games)

#Sexy Christmas Sirens #Naga Games #gambling site #advertising #video games #errant buttock #rubber hips #disembodied limbs #detached legs #crotchleg #Christmas

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rileythelonelyalien · 1 year

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Dottore X GN! Reader : SEASONS GREETINGS

A/N: Hi ! its been a few weeks since I last posted ! I do apologise , I was having a bit of a writers block but I think I'm past the worst of it now lol. The following post is based off a head cannon me and my friend had come up with and I had decided to write it up , I have another version of this in the works , as well as a few other fic that I'm working on currently in my docs . Anyways I hope you enjoy the fic which will be under the cut

cw: mentions of dismembered body parts and unwilling test subjects !

Every year Dottore and his segments celebrate the Christmas season together.

During this time, they would each be given one of the others to give a present to, prime was the one who had begun this tradition amongst them. It had begun when he first created the original clones, he had used them as a way to not only help him out with his research and provide different perspectives of his past self but he also treated it as a family of sorts. He did not have any links to a family and thus his own self replicas replaced that, they were all alone during the Christmas time and it wouldn't be so bad to celebrate with people who wouldn't get on his nerves (for the most part at least). This tradition amongst them continued with every passing year as the number of clones got larger the livelier these Christmas gatherings would become, yet Dottore did not mind this it was refreshing in a sense, a respite from all the serious work load and weight of the fatui reputation that sat upon his shoulders.

[Prime Dottore has a deep connection to his clones, a connection akin to that of a familial love for all his clones from the eldest to the youngest. Almost viewing them in a similar way that a father would to his son although authoritarian there was still a tender care and love for each and every one of them , they were all he had , and at times all he thought he ever needed]

This year in particular however was different. There was a new addition to this gathering, one who was not a variation of himself, someone new… and that was you. He had invited you to join in on his tradition as he saw you as part of the family, he had created but not in the sense of familial bond but with the bond of love. It certainly excites you to be able to see a new side to your lover, he definitely attempts to be gentlemanly in your presence yet in this tradition that he holds you'll be able to see a new perspective to his intimate side, one that would be caring to others. Albeit the ‘others’ in this scenario are himself but in different time frames. With the addition of you to this tradition though the rules had changed slightly, the clones still got presents for each other but prime Dottore this year gives a present to you, and vice versa. It was a small change to try and make sure you don't get anything unsightly from the clones. This was as a consequence of them only having to procure gifts that would be able to appease themselves which could range from a new supply of dangerous substances to dismembered parts of bodies or just unsuspecting victims who were now going to become an experiment as a gift. But once the segments had caught onto this change of plans, they decided that they wanted to appease you too and so whilst they still got each other presents they also procured an extra gift which would be given to you.

Soon enough the time arrives to celebrate so with your gift in hand you make your way to your lover's lab, you have been told that this is where they usually host this tradition of theirs. Dottore had informed you and then told you to arrive at a time that was most convenient for you. As you got closer to your destination you could hear the faint racket of his younger segments causing chaos as per usual with each step you took into that direction it gradually got louder and louder. Of the cacophony of voices that could be heard in the hallway you swear you managed to catch the sound of glass breaking, although you decide it would be best not to question the sounds you may hear knowing just how energetic and proactive, they can be. With a smile gracing your lips you raise your fist in order to knock on the lab door. Immediately after you had, the chaos from within died down into a still silence leaving you to wonder just how their faces must look in shock that someone would be knocking on the lab door during such a time. A quick set of all too familiar sounding footsteps approach you from the other side and creaks the door open slightly. Out sticks out your lover's face, his mask sitting crooked on his face most likely from him putting it on his face in a haste to get to the door. His pointed teeth begin to show as he grins at you welcoming you into his lab. Before you could thank him for inviting you to this special event of his he gently grabs your wrist quickly pulling you in and seemingly returning to where he originally sat before you had interrupted.

You sit yourself down next to your lover and the many other variations of him on your other side. Finally, you are able to observe your surroundings as you look up you are met with many crimson eyes looking back at you some with adoration some with curiosity and some even quizzical. At such a sight you couldn't help but laugh softly to yourself. A majority seemed to be just as infatuated with you as the original. It was quite amusing. As prime was taking his time in removing his mask and preparing his present to you, you decide to send a small wave to the clones and in the most humorous way they all proceeded to wave back to you enthusiastically some of their hand collide and consequently they send each other glares as if to threaten them from taking their attention away from them. Dottore watched this entire scenario play out, finding the entirety rather entertaining, witnessing just how much his segments reflected his thoughts and feelings towards his lover.

Prime gently taps you on the shoulder in order to grab your attention back to him, his eyes were now fully visible strands of his hair gracefully falling over them and framing his face. He truly was such a pretty man you couldn't understand his beauty at times even the scars that edged across his porcelain skin worked to further his beauty. His eyes now in a soft gaze looked towards you although intense without malice or any blood thirst, rathe it was adoration. His hands slithered to cup your own with his gift to you sitting in his lap, he let a smile shine through his features as he watches your body language easily giving away how flustered you were: truly nothing could amuse him more than your reactions, reactions that only he and he alone would be able to witness. However, this small moment was over as soon as it came, eye contact was broken as Dottore reached toward the gift that he had prepared it was a small velveted box one used to contain jewellery in, he presented you the box signaling for you to take it and open it. You accept his gift with gratitude letting him know how much you appreciate him preparing a gift for you: carefully you open the box worrying that there could be a chance to accidently damage the contents inside. The box opens to reveal a necklace inside, yet instead of a usual charm that would be expected to be on such a necklace instead there lay a small glass vial full of a liquid, it bared quite the resemblance to the same vial that Dottore had worn as an ‘accessory’ on his ear. With great care you lift the necklace out of the box admiring the liquid sloshing around in the glass vial that is attached onto the chain. Seeing you enamoured with his gift to you Dottore can't help but let his smile grow wider continuing to admire all your features as well as the way you have become rapt in such a simple item. He pulls the item out of your grasp; he then proceeds to lean in closer you could feel his warm breath hitting your skin as his hands travel behind your neck fastening the ends of the necklace to each other your neck now displaying his gift. Although he had not mentioned it you assumed that this necklace is not just for show, the liquid within must hold some sort of properties that he wanted you to keep with you at all times: you were going to let him tell you the exact use of the contents at a later time it would be a shame to distract him from his affectionate mood with a simple question that would most likely lead him down a scientific rabbit hole of theories, hypothesis and methods. Not that you didn't enjoy his rambles he needs to have his break from work too !

Alas now that Dottore had given you his gift you feel a slight twinge of self-consciousness as you prepare to hand your gift toward Dottore. It was not much of a materialistic in terms of inherent ‘value’ however since it was handmade it certainly added an air of personal touch, additionally Dottore was not a man who was easily impress merely by the outwardly grandeur of an item itself but rather its utility and origin. Putting any doubtful thoughts away you present your lover with the wrapped item, the fun and vibrant wrapping paper creating a small rustle. You observe his face as he looks at the gift being handed to him, those crimson eyes focusing on the gift, a hint of curiosity and amusement shining through them which only served to somehow make him look even more ethereal. You waited in anticipation as you continued to watch his expression whilst his hands glided across the surface of said gift looking for the tape keeping the wrapping paper in place, was he going to try to unwrap the present without tearing the paper you thought to yourself, yes; yes, he was indeed. A few excruciating long minutes pass by as Dottore seems to successfully unwrap the gist without once having to tear the paper, you couldn't help but wonder if you should be amazed at the effort or be annoyed at his blatant teasing. Now in his hands lay the exposed gift which was quite a thick book with the word ‘memories’ written on the front of it. Your gift to him was a scrapbook, the catch was it was only half full, you had deliberately ensured that a good portion of the pages remained blank. The pages of which you wrote on were full of photos with descriptions of what this moment meant to you, many of the photos were candids of him and the writing was you letting your love for him seep from your heart into the ink of the pen that you held. Seeing your praise and adoration for him eternalised in a book gifted to him was something he most certainly not expecting but he adored this notion none the less. You proceed to explain to him that the rest of the book he can use as he sees fits, he can fill it with anything he deemed memorable whether it would be plans for future research or photos or anything he had the freedom to fill it with whatever. Without a word he gently grasps your chin with his index finger and thumb bringing your face closer to his own. He lets your lips collide with each other its gentle and sweet, Dottore most likely could not word his gratitude and so he opted to show you with actions just how much you had touched him.

Soon enough the festivities continued, hot chocolate was served with whipped cream and a hearty serving of marshmallows on top. There was also the abundance of gingerbread biscuits which you had baked upon request which many of the segments were savouring the flavour of your cooking. It was certainly a sight to behold so many versions of your lover at all different moments of his life: enjoying themselves and most even expressing the festive joy. The tinker of cutlery hitting glass reverberated through the lab, once again grabbing the attention of the sea of Dottore’s their gaze pulling away from each other and falling upon the origin of the sound. Prime Dottore stood up and cleared his throat in order to prepare to speak ‘Alright, it has been another year: full of trial and tribulation but we have made an astounding effort into our research, so this evening we shall celebrate!’ a cheer ensued at an almost deafening level. But you wouldn't give this up for anything in the world.

As the time past and the day soon developed into an evening many of the segments had now left the lab to go back to their own places of rest, you and Dottore were the last to leave walking down the halls of the palace in a carefree manner still enjoying each other's presence. However, what awaited you two in your shared bedroom was something completely unusual: as soon as you had opened a door a gargantuan pile of gifts all wrapped with varying skill was located on your side of the bed. Further inspection of the gifts, each and every one was addressed to you. An astounded by the sheer volume of presents you have to sit down onto the bed in order to process that all of it was for you. Dottore although initially surprised by the mass of gifts was quick to realise the culprits of this. What you had anticipated to be an evening cuddled with your lover now had evolved into several hours of opening gift after gift, although entertaining it was certainly tiring.

#dottore #dottore x reader #dottore fluff #genshin dottore #genshin fanfic #genshin fandom #genshin x reader #genshin impact #fatui dottore #fatui x reader #fatui harbingers

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blueberrypancakesworld · 5 months

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TLB - Blood red lips - Door.14

warning : kissing, flirting (tiny tiny tiny smutish if you look closely)

The calendar

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

David :

On the occasion of Christmas, the four boys bought a matching lipstick not only to match the red shining apples but also the red candles and the red Christmas baubles. But most fascinated by it was David who equated the red with the red of fire and flames. He loved it when she came to them at night with the lipstick and he watched the red almost obsessively. Until he moved towards her, stepped out of the shadows and whispered to her, ,,Lips as red as fire", he knew her heart was beating faster and he wanted more of her. His cold leather gloved fingers ran over her neck until she took the cigarette in his other hand between his fingers. ,,I love you," she heard his voice as he came closer and pulled her into a greedy kiss. She tasted the smoke and the blood running through him. He pulled her closer and when they broke away she could see that his lips were the same blood red as hers.

Dwayne :

Christmas the time of love for some and the time for presents for others. But for Dwayne, it was nice to see his brothers and his heart getting along. They felt at ease and the winter only brought them closer together as it got darker faster in Santa Carla. But during this time, it was above all his passion for his love that kept him captivated. Whenever their shared love came to them he watched her from his silence and saw her lips. The dark red colour, even though it resembled blood, symbolised love for the tall black-haired man. ,,Your everything is my love," he had told her one dark Christmas night and pulled away from the wall. He walked over to her and saw the warmth on her cheeks. ,,You are everything," he whispered to her, lingering over her before pulling her into an intimate kiss, his hand going to her hair and pulling her closer to him. Knowing that her blood-red lips would rub off on his.

Paul :

Paul loves Christmas, the bright colours and the sweet smell that seemed to taint the blood of the victims. But above all, he loves playing in the snow with his brothers, having fun throwing the snow on his heart and summoning an artificial snowflake fall for her. But when she came into the cave with the red lipstick one day, the blonde seemed to fall in love again. The colour not only matched her eyes and hair, the colour matched everything, it seemed to make her stand out in a new way and the blonde had to pull himself together to attack her. ,,My angel, I'm yours," he said and playfully knelt down in front of her before pulling her rapturously against him and kissing her. Her lips left red marks on his lips, neck and cheek. ,,You're beautiful," he said dreamily as she let go of him and he floated through the air, almost cartoon-like, as he winked at her.

Marko :

Marko's favourite colour was the blood red of his victims and seeing the red on the snow was his perfect Christmas. Seeing the blood colour the snow red and the warmth of his dismembered victims seemed to transfer to him. But after a long, dark, blood-red night, he returned to the cave covered in blood. He saw her heart beating in the dark and, above all, saw her red lips, which he first thought were blood, which is why he appeared next to her. ,,You flatter my heart," he murmured and his bloody fingers ran over her lip, seeing that it wasn't blood and he seemed almost disappointed. Before he pulled her into a kiss, her hiss amused him as he bit her lightly, tasting her blood. ,,Now it's perfect," he said, pulling away from her and seeing the small trickle of blood on her lips that had stained his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#tlb 1987 #the lost boys 1987 #tlb david #tlb dwayne #tlb paul #tlb marko #david tlb x reader #dwayne tlb x reader #paul tlb x reader #marko tlb x reader

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crp-low-quality-content · 5 months

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Creepypasta Christmas headcannons

Not every pasta celebrate Christmas in the manor, they're too depressed to feel any spark of happiness.

But just because it brings happy memories to then, and some other would celebrate that, the depressed ones end up going with the flow.

Sally love Christmas, she always write letters to Santa and waits for her gifts every year religiously.

Once when she were writing a letter she ended up writing Satan instead of Santa.

Toby likes making snowmen, but one day he was too bored and with an idea in his head that he thought it would be hilarious. Bro made a 4'9 (1,50cm) snow dick in the front yard and just left. To this day, no one knows who did it but it called the whole manor's attention.

Jane makes ginger cookies every Christmas, she uses molds to make the cookies in various shapes and decorates them. They always look cute.

Because everyone is an asshole, no one gives anyone gifts for Christmas. Only those who have very strong ties but it is rare to happen.

They decorate the manor with normal christmas decorations but sometimes they like to inclement it with human bones.

It's the only time of the year that they will be less jerks to others. (Yeah the Christmas spirit still lives on them)

Even Dina e Ann tolerate each other more. One day they even said merry Christmas to each other.

The cannibals prefers to eat roasted human instead of turkey, they do the same thing we do with the birds, behead and dismember it then roast.

Some pastas are childish enough to throw snowballs at each other for fun, and even make snow angels sometimes. It's common to find them playing like kids in the front yard, the same with the proxies.

They have snowball wars also, and it started when toby decided to throw a snowball at Kate.

The Christmas is the only time of the year when EJ is more social and open to people.

Even clockwork and Jeff are nicer to everyone.

That's the happiest time of the year for all of them, except LJ. It brings him some bad memories, but just because everyone is so excited he goes with the flow and forget them.

One year Jeff was so drunk that he were "rubbing" against the Christmas tree and the others were looking, they thought is was funny and recorded him.

It's the only dinner in the year were they act like civilized human beings.

When the Christmas feeling passes they go back to normal.

#creepypasta #christmas #2023 Christmas #merry Christmas #creepypasta Christmas #jeff the killer #eyeless jack #creepypasta headcannons #headcannons #christmas headcannons #jane the killer #sally creepypasta #ticci toby #laughing jack #kate the chaser

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shadowsageingempress · 7 months

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Florida Man Challenge: Final Fantasy VII Edition

(Note: These headlines do not line up with the characters or my opinion of them. I just did this for fun. Additionally, some of the birthdays are based solely on headcanon and will be marked as such with *)

Cloud Strife, August 11: Florida Man stole forklift, pickup, four-wheeler (and more) in 'impressive crime spree,' deputies say

Tifa Lockhart, May 3: Florida Man invites police to smoke pot while showing off his marijuana plant

Barret Wallace, December 15: Florida Man high on flakka rams car into jail to 'visit friends'

Aerith Gainsborough, February 7: Florida Man accused of hiding marijuana in box of Valentine's Day chocolates

Yuffie Kisaragi, November 20: Florida Man tries to evade police by 'playing Frogger' across busy highway

Vincent Valentine, October 13: Florida Man accused of forcing small alligator to drink beer

Cid Highwind, February 22: Florida Man throws toilet through School Board building window in Illinois

Zack Fair, August 19*: Florida Man arrested after allegedly shoving steaks worth more than $50 down his pants

Angeal Hewley, January 1: Florida Man who attacked McDonald’s worker over straw sentenced to jail

Genesis Rhapsodis, December 13: Florida Man who ran naked through airport screaming about a bomb sentenced to probation

Sephiroth Crescent, December 21*: Florida Man caught on video beating shark with a hammer

(author's note: the shark survived and was released back into the ocean)

Lucrecia Crescent, July 22: Florida Man shoots stepdaughter's boyfriend with shotgun

Weiss, October 2*: Florida Man drinks goat blood in ritual sacrifice, runs for senate

Nero, September 25*: Naked Florida Man outside Chick-Fil-A arrested for trying to fight passersby

Shelke Rui, January 26: Florida Man named ‘Paramedic of the Year’ accused of helping steal Covid-19 vaccines

Honorable Mentions:

12/15 Florida Man throws Christmas tree at wife after food fight

2/7 Florida Man steals car; train sends it crashing into house

2/7 Florida Man accused in plot to attack power grid, illegal street racing

10/13: Florida Man claims he killed, dismembered roommate because he was possibly 'next mass murderer,' cops say

7/22, Watch: Florida Man head-butts bus, loses

9/25 Florida Man throws bicycle, then other man off bridge

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why-bless-your-heart · 1 year

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Reactionary elf on the shelf where the children must find and brutally dismember the elf each day in order to make sure he doesn’t manage to report back to the North Pole and thwart Christmas.

#I think I posted this before but I’m posting it again

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asshlyyyy · 1 year

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On The Second Day of Christmas

Elvis (or Austin!Elvis) x Fem!Reader

Day One | Day Three

Welcome to day two of twelve. So far it is going so good. I was supposed to also post part four of Fairytale... that will be tomorrow. Fairytale will be posted first and then The Third day will be posted later on in the day.

I love and appreciate all you guys that stick around for my writing it means a lot to me. Happy Holidays and I hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

Warnings: Mentions of sex, Spelling and Grammatical Errors Most Likely

Word Count: 1.3k

You woke up early the next day. Escaping from Elvis’ warm embrace, you made your way to the closet to get dressed into some warm clothing. Before you left for the store you made to write Elvis a quick note letting him know where you are going. Elvis had this fear that one day he would wake up and you would have up and left.

Of course, you would never in your right mind leave Elvis. Sure, he had some anger issues here and there, but everyone did at the end of the day. You got past it and usually, it ended up meaning you two had some angry sex at the end of the day. Which of course… you were not complaining about.

Anyways, back onto the task at hand. It was currently day two. You had to get some breakfast and supplies for the rest of the day. Day two was turtle doves. Sure, you could probably find some live doves, but where is the fun in that? You will happily turn turtle doves into the literal saying. Looks like you were going back to the toy store to find dove and turtle plushies.

You picked up your coat and wrapped it around yourself, and then picked up your purse. The keys were already in there, so all you had to do was head out to the card. One of which Elvis so graciously gifted to you. Even though you could’ve easily driven one of the many cars he owned. But, you loved him and you loved the car he got you.

As you got into the car you pulled out your little notepad. Day one was crossed off. Now you have eleven more days… Which are easier said than done. You just had to get creative, and that started today. You started the car and you were soon on your way.

You arrived at the store and got all the supplies you needed for the rest of the day. Then you grabbed one last thing. One that could change your and Elvis’ lives forever.

When you got home you noticed that Elvis was once again gone. It didn’t upset you, in fact, you were quite happy. Because once again he could walk in and be surprised. You brought all the bags inside, in one trip, and carefully placed them on the floor. First things first, you needed food in your belly, and then you can get to work.

As you reached the kitchen you spotted a note on the counter. You picked it up and felt your heart flutter. You loved when Elvis used notes. It may be a simple I love you, to know where he was. It was a simple gesture that meant the world. Good morning sweetheart, I am going into the studio again. I’ll be home around five today. I made you some breakfast, it’s in the fridge. I love you < 3~ Elvis

You went into the fridge and found the breakfast that Elvis was talking about. It was so simple yet looked so delicious. It was two pancakes, with fruit cut up on them and a cup of syrup on the side. He knew you didn’t like soggy pancakes, hell no one did.

You pulled it out of the fridge and went to warm it up. As it was warming up you pour yourself a glass of water. By the time you were done with that, your food was done heating up.

You finished your food quickly and you moved to the living room to get your project started. This time, you got into the Christmas mood. You lit the fireplace, and even put on a Christmas record. You were trying to inhale all the Christmas spirit you could get.

Now, you didn’t want to talk about what you did to those poor plushies… but you had people dying to know. So, to keep it simple… you cut off the turtle's heads and replaced them with the Dove’s heads. Yes, there was a lot of dismembering… and you’ve seen worse cursed items, but this was at the top. Still, in a weird twisted way, they were cute.

You set them up near your first day of the christmas project and smiled. You couldn’t wait for Elvis’ reaction to this. So, you went around and did some house chores. You knew Elvis had to be done soon on his work, in fact… you were going to make sure he wasn't working himself up to Christmas. Which he has before.

The clock struck five and you felt as if you had done nothing. That wasn’t entirely true, but it definitely felt like it. You had moved all your craft supplies to a spare room, and tidied up every room. It looked clean and neat. That was what was important in the end.

“Hi my love,” Elvis said gently and pulled you in a hug. You let out a hum and engulfed yourself in his scent. You wanted to spend more time with him, and you were going to make sure of that.

“Hi Elvis,” you responded back and looked up at him. He smiled down at you and leaned down to connect your lips together for a kiss.

“Want to see day two?” You asked as you pulled away.

“Of course,” he nodded in response. You let out a little sinister laugh and brought him over to your setup. You turned for his reaction and just laughed.

“What the fuck am I lookin’ at?” He asked in shock.

“Two turtle doves,” you replied like it was nothing.

“Darlin, those are not turtle doves. Those are fuckin’ mutated doves. What the hell did you do?” He looked at you with wide concerned eyes.

“I made turtle doves.” You once again pointed out. They were indeed turtle doves and no one could change your mind from that.

“You- It’s not literal babe. There are actual turtle doves.” He tried to educate you. Now, you were not stupid, of course, you knew there were doves called turtle doves. You weren’t a toddler.

“Well, on the second day of Christmas… my true love gave to me, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree~” You sang. Elvis let out a sigh and shook his head.

“‘M gonna have nightmares about those damn things.” He started to walk away.

“And we’re only starting!” You followed after him.

“Don’t remind me now,” He took off his coat. “They aren’t all gonna be cursed like that right?”

“I think this is the only real cursed one.” You chuckled and grabbed his arms and wrapped them around yourself.

“Good, because I don’t think I could take every day looking at cursed things. Which means we’re gonna put those in the way back.” He told you.

“Oh my gosh yes! Because then it’ll be like a surprise on Christmas.” You gasped. It was honestly genius when you think about it. Your and Elvis’ families came in on Christmas and it would be a fun treat to show them.

“Oh hell no,” Elvis shook his head, “‘m gonna throw them in the damn trash.”

“You can’t,” You said staring into his eyes. You gave him this look that screamed if you do that I will throw you in the trash.

“Why not?” He asked idiotically.

“Because you love me.” You said with a smile. He rolled his eyes playfully at you.

“Mmm, that is true,” he leaned down and pressed your foreheads together. “I didn’t sign up for cursed turtle doves though.”

“But you didn’t expect them. I’m keeping this relationship fun.” You pointed out all so obvious.

“You’re keeping it cursed.” He plainly said. It was not your turn to playfully roll your eyes.

“Oh shut the fuck up.” You giggled and closed the distance between the both of you. Lips perfectly sculpted together made you never want to pull away. He was so perfect in every possible way, and you could feel the love he had for you in a single kiss.

Tomorrow was day three, and you had the best idea for it.

Artwork made by the wonderful @nora-nexus-34

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