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kelluinox · 1 month

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Oh are people mad at JKR again and calling out her antisemitism? That's funny. No, it is! It's funny when people suddenly care about antisemitism after these 5 months we've had. It's funny when people who threw a grand ol party on October 7th suddenly care about being antisemitic. It's funny when the people who called the kidnapping and rape and largest massacre of Jewish people since the Holocaust justified resistance... suddenly care about the Holocaust. It's funny to hear their "very angry very loud very righteous outrage against antisemitism" when they have:

1) said and done nothing about the hostages being held by Hamas, among which there is a baby and a 4 yo and women being subjected to sexual torture

2) done nothing to pressure the embarrassment called the Red Cross to pass vital medicine to the hostages and actually do its job

3) have gone full Holocaust denial with their denial of the 7th... despite eagerly sharing videos of Shani Louk and Naama Levy and Noa Argamani and the Nova Festival massacre as it was happening, asking Hamas to film their slaughter horizontally and calling victims "hipsters" as the massacre was actually happening

4) called for the murder and expulsion of half the world's jews from the Levant, labeling them all colonizers despite us being indigenous... which is ironic because they certainly don't seem eager to move their own ass and go back to wherever they came from (looking at you Americans, Canadians, Australians - shut the fuck up you hypocritical bitches)

5) attacked, and harassed, and bullied, and even murdered jews all over the world since the 7th. Jewish students were told to hide in the attic from an angry mob, have been unable to walk to class without verbal or physical attacks, have been unable to mourn the biggest massacre of jews since the Holocaust, have had posters of the kidnapped jews that they put up torn down, have had all their attempts at talks about antisemitism and peace derailed and have even been unable to wear their magen david without harassment. Jewish business have been targeted and defaced. And Paul Kessler and Samantha Woll were murdered. Murdered!

6) refused to listen to jews about antisemitism and have eagerly repeated antisemitic conspiracy theories as old as the middle ages like the gullible bigoted little idiots that they are: Jews control the media by distracting Americans from Gaza by using Spotify Wrapped, the Superbowl, and making a Stop Jewish Hate ad (wow do I 'love' it when Americans make fun of their own intelligence by admitting that they're so easily distracted). Jews poison wells - they poison Palestinian land. Jews steal Christian kids and drink their blood - Jews kidnap blond Palestinian children and steal organs from Palestinian corpses. Jews love killing and are bloodthirsty monsters - Jews intentionally target civilians, have killed 0 terrorists whatsoever, and are rubbing their hands in glee watching mass starvation unfold. Oh, and they also do all this on Ramadan because they're evil like that. Beyond that we also have had: Jewish doctors are not to be trusted - straight out Stalin's doctor's plot. And Zionists are racists - straight out of Imperial Russia's Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Wow, congrats on quoting Imperial Russia and the leader of the Soviet Union, fuckers. Though frankly you don't seem embarrassed about that considering your genocidal intifada posters display the hammer and sickle, do you?

7) have ignored literally everything Hamas has done. From the rape and brutal murders and kidnapping (videos of which they published themselves!). To the tunnels. To the theft of aid. To the execution of civilians following humanitarian corridors to safe zones. To using hospitals to hide weaponry, terrorists and hostages. To forcefully keeping civilians in said hospitals even as they try to evacuate, using them as human shields. To shooting at civilians who try to get some aid before it's stolen. To sending 4 yo children to Israeli soldier camps to assess their preparedness. To keeping weapons beneath a child's bed. To enlisting child soldiers. To programming children with Mein Kampf. To launching rockets from next to kindergartens and across the street from a building belonging to the joke we call the UN. To breaking the November ceasefire 15 minutes in because even an hour without killing jews was too difficult for them to accomplish. To separating families despite the hostage deal being that families will not be separated. To branding the Jewish boys they took hostage (sound familiar to you yet?). To forcing child hostages to watch their October 7 videos and threatening to shoot them if they cry. To raping female hostages. To depriving elderly and chronically ill hostages of life saving medicine. To forcibly converting female hostages. To not releasing the Bibas family despite the deal being that all children be returned. To executing hostages and then lying they died in air strikes despite the cause of death being a bullet. To creating sick games where they publish photos of hostages and dare psychopaths on the internet to guess which are dead and which alive. The list goes on and on and on and you lot stick your fingers in your ears every single time and go "lalala not listening".

8) Have supported the Houthis who literally have "a curse upon the jews" in their slogan

9) Have supported Bin Laden

10) Have supported Iran by supporting its proxy - Hamas.

11) Have shamed Ukrainians for trying to remind them that Russia is still attacking them, and told them that they should support Palestine when... Hamas and the Houthis have literally visited Moscow and Iran are Russia's allies. Good job, guys. Good job.

12) Have done everything to exaggerate what's happening, twist the facts and demonize Israel, all the while portraying it as "criticism". A war is suddenly not bad enough on its own - it has to be a genocide to get people to care. Displacement caused by a war is not bad enough - it has to be ethnic cleansing. Israel is suddenly a fascist Nazi state... despite being democratic and Jewish (where have all the people who laughed at Putin for calling Zelensky a nazi despite Zelensky being a jew gone? I wonder). The war in Gaza has to be the worst conflict on Earth, despite there being ongoing genocides in Sudan and China and the goddamn invasion of Ukraine.

And before any of you antisemitic goyim start furiously typing that it is a genocide and I'm a genocide apologist, please do keep in mind that jews know more about genocide than you ever will. And being a Russian jew I will know more about fascism than you ever will. So do us all a favor, shut up and listen to people more educated on the matter than you.

13) Have tried to define Zionism and Judaism and Jewish history to jews. Thanks for the goysplaining, I guess

14) Have mocked released hostages and their testimonies. Falsely claimed that they were not mistreated and actually written fanfics of them falling in love with the terrorists who murdered their families and kidnapped them

15) Have defaced the statue of Amy Winehouse

16) Have made lists of jews. Oh, sorry, "zionists"

17) Have devolved into race science

And to conclude my post, here are just a few photos of the shit goyim have done since october:

#jews feel free to add more bullshit that the goyim have done that I might've forgotten to mention #i hope this was as scathing and insulting as possible because i am done #i am tired of goyim pretending they care about antisemitism #they don't #and they never did #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #jumblr

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greatshell-rider · 2 years

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“...[Sponge] was sitting in the tack room mending a headstall. He’d been doing that all winter. He looked just like his father, so sober and intent on his work. Older than his years. But then Hadand told him that Inda had arrived, and he leaped up, and his face changed into a boy’s face. Full of joy. I’ve never in my life seen such a transformation. He dashed out, running so fast he crashed into a wall. But he just laughed and ran on.”

Hadand realized something she’d been peripherally aware of for half a year: Inda was the only person who crossed in and out of that invisible space Evred surrounded himself with. Inda didn’t even seem to be aware of it. But Hadand could not imagine anyone else daring to hit Evred on the arm.

“Inda needs it,” Barend said. “Then Inda should have come and got it,” Fox retorted. Barend shut up.

have a few more gay ass bitches (feat. fox)

#tau's talk with joret is really funny he just realizes 'oh shit my yaska is evred but he's actually a king i gotta do something about that'#and so shows back up at the castle with theater plays and poking most every button evred has sheerly cuz he gets turned on when evred's mad #anyway #tau = easily one of the most guys ever <3 #tau trade offer: you receive: real good sex. the kingdom receives: not collapsing due to your 'hope-driven self-destruction' over inda #i said anyway but im not done tau and evred's whole thing is just great #this post wasn't even about tau and evred lmaooo #here here's a tag actually for evred and inda. ahem #sponge with brain damage: weeeeeeeeee inda!!#and for the fox quote i still firmly believe that fox's primary bastard-ness in regards to the pirate treasure is cuz he's butthurt over #inda not meeting up with him to get it. fox is like evred in that he'd do most anything for inda but unlike evred resents that heavily sldkf #he just misses inda soooooooooo much smh #but yeah it was good inda didn't come cuz fox needed a nice wake up call and ramis handing his ass to him certainly helped !#oh also i think why evred and fox are both Like This (in such a similar fashion) is cuz they're both aro gay and that gayness is specificall #specifically just for inda #inda who is straight #fox's specific brand of gay for inda is very interesting tho more interesting than evred's a lotta times. i gotta think on it more tbh #chiri: could be studying bio or aviation or astronomy or japanese or other interests. also chiri: but what about those gay fuckin idiots!)#anyways for realsies #sartorias-deles #inda quartet #gay ass bitch #<-- nearly forgot The Tag lmao

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starry-bi-sky · 6 days

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Danyal Al Ghul: Incorrect Quotes and Miscellaneous Thoughts

Incorrect quotes-style snippets specifically for my danyal al ghul au here (which i really need to come up with a unique au name for atp). Because I thought it'd be funny. And also some miscellaneous headcanons thrown into the mix. Some context for the au: - Danyal is 5 years older than Damian (so 10 and 15) - Danny faked his death when he was 10. Talia knows and helped him with it. - Jazz, Sam, and Tucker do not know he's an ex-assassin.

-------- Snippet 1

Danny, dryly tapping his temple: I have, as the Americans say, irreparable psychological damage, right here.

Jazz, an older sibling first and foremost: well, it's good that you're self-aware.

-------- Snippet 2

Danny, aged 10, in the American foster planning to just age out of the system: *emanating Bad Vibes. Pure, Little Orphan Tom Riddle Energy*

Jazz, aged 12, coming in to adopt a new sibling with her parents: Him. This is my brother now :)

Danny: ...what

--------

Lilo and Stitch is Danny's favorite Disney movie. He watched it when he was 11 with Jazz when she was attempting to connect with him, and by this point Danny was becoming receptive to her efforts. They had a movie marathon in the living room one night.

Safe to say? It resonated with his little 11 year old heart strongly, and he related very strongly with both Nani and Stitch. He got unexpectedly emotional and hid in his room for the rest of the night. Jazz felt really bad, but it had the intended (but kinda unexpected) effect of him trying to be nicer to her afterwards.

-------- Snippet 3

Dash, aged 12, causing trouble again and getting intercepted by Danny: *scaling up a desk* AHHHHH! GET YOUR LITTLE FREAK, FOLEY!

Tucker: Hey! Danny is not a freak!

Dash: GET HIM TO BACK OFF

Tucker, was the kid Dash was messing with: ....whats in it for me

-------- Snippet 4

Danny, saying some questionably immoral shit: What. Why are you looking at me like that.

Tucker: Bro. I mean this as kindly as possible; what the fuck?

Sam: yeah, I'm with Tuck on this one.

-------- Snippet 5

Danny, ranting about Vlad: if it weren't for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered him

Sam, painting his nails black: I'm pretty sure you'd slaughter him regardless of the laws of the land -- and quit moving, you're gonna mess me up.

Tucker: we've literally seen you debate yourself about this, Dan

Danny: ...you are correct, but it is the principle of things.

-------- Snippet 6

Vlad: I have experience my child, and the money and power attained through using those powers for personal gain, you say. I could train you, teach you everything I know! And all you have to do is renounce that idiot adoptive father of yours.

Danny, was already contemplating committing a Violence: ....

Danny, internally: I'm going to stab him *turns into Phantom*

--------

Funny contrast I realized between Danyal and Vlad that iirc I haven't pointed out yet is that imo, Danyal doesn't rely on his powers nearly half as much as canon Danny does. He falls back instinctually on his League training, and thus sometimes forgets to use his powers in battle. This was prevalent especially early on when he was still getting used to the whole 'halfa' thing.

He incorporates them more often after a year, but still for the most part relies on his own physical hand-to-hand combat. He trusts those skills much more than he does his powers. I'm not sure where he is on a technical level compared to canon, but just to stay safe I'll say he's similar in power skill as canon Danny. Perhaps a little more finessed than him because his League training would probably have him trying to figure out his powers as soon as possible.

But in summary? Danny is strong in hand-to-hand combat, weak in powerset.

Meanwhile Vlad is the opposite. I can't recall if he even knows hand-to-hand in canon, but it makes total sense to me that Vlad Masters wouldn't because he's so confident in his monetary influence and ghost abilities that he sees no need for it.

And he's kinda got some merit behind it. He's very powerful and has 20 years of experience to experiment and fine tune his powers. He's got bite to follow up his bark. He's perfected long-range combat and his ability to phase through walls makes it impossible to corner him, but if you can manage it, then one good hit could probably knock him on his ass.

So in summary, Vlad is strong in powerset, weak in hand-to-hand combat.

And it casts a good contrast between the two of them in that regard. Danny, as a fellow halfa, can follow Vlad when he phases through walls and is fast enough to land a hit on him. His league training as an assassin, albeit rusty, is still deep ingrained enough in him that he can hold up as a rather veritable threat against Vlad without needing his powers.

But Vlad can force Danny to use his powers more often through use of his own. The duplication is the first thing to come to mind: Danny's fast enough to dispel them on his own without powers, and smart enough that he could figure out who the real one is if given a few minute. But that's not always efficient enough.

Good foils for each other that way. Also Vlad's Plasmius design mimics Ra's juuust enough that he looks like Ra's knockoff loser second cousin no one talks about, which only fuels Danny's hatred.

-------- Snippet 7

Danny, ranting about Vlad for the first time: --and it's only made worse by the fact that the little ingrate resembles a cheap knock-off of my grandfather!--

Sam, choking on her water: he what--

Tucker, doing a spittake: HE DOES?

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #danyal al ghul au #i have a doodle of that little scene with vlad actually. its in my notebook lmao.#danny gets *furiously* shakespearan when he's insulting someone. sam and tucker have recorded some of his rants #and they are just pure gold.#sam and tucker calling danny 'dan' as a nickname 2024.#which reminds me about how TUE would even happen. someone in my ao3 comments made a good point about how they weren't sure if my danyal #would even have a TUE occur because he's not the cheating type. i've seen clips of how he got his hands on the test answers but i'll need t #watch the episode to gauge if Dan is even feasible. and if he is what changes to make him happen. hmmm. much to think about #don't think danyal would stay with vlad even in the midst of his grief. hmhmhm #dpdc

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fourraccoonsinacoat · 1 month

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Durge: Shadowheart, Lae'zel, Karlach and I are going to scout the gith creche. So I need the three of you- Astarion! Are you even listening?

Astarion: Hmm? Oh yes, darling, I'm very invested in this conversation. *Not invested at all.*

Durge: I need the three of you to please, pretty please, act like sane functional members of society and not blow anything up while we're gone.

*Astarion, Gale and Wyll all side-eye one another.*

Durge: Including Gale.

Karlach: Come on, soldier, we're all adults here. Let's go.

Durge: *As they head off in the direction of the creche.* That's what worries me. At least all the children we've met have had the decency to get in trouble while we were around.

*Several hours later, the scouting party returns to camp, welcomed by chants of "Eat it! Eat it!" as Gale holds a very expensive looking enchanted greatsword while Astarion and Wyll egg him on.*

Durge: What did I say?

Astarion: You said not to blow Gale up, and this is the opposite of blowing Gale up.

Karlach: *To Durge.* I see your point.

Durge: I'm going to find Mol and ask her how much she charges for babysitting.

- - - -

BG3 Incorrect Quotes Masterlist.

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autisticlancemcclain · 8 months

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fic rec friday 37

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Fade to Black by @yokohogawa

Things between Keith and Lance are changing but Keith is restless, especially with Shiro still weak, and ends up taking a bad decision: he leaves Lance alone in the Castle with a Lion he cannot pilot. Unable to form Voltron without the newly appointed Red Paladin, the four Paladins left struggle against the sudden attack of a Galra ship and later on take damage from the explosion of a star in close proximity. Lance, on the other end, is left to defend the Castle by himself and has little time to succeed: without energy, the Lions have only 6 hours of breathable air. Beyond that point, his friends will be dead.

okay yes technically this series is unfinished. HOWEVER the first two works ARE finished, and they are amazing showstopping incredible etc. tbh im not much of a black paladin lance fan, i genuinely think solo leadership is not what he is suited for, but this fic made me way more open to it. the way he handled severe crises was as fear stricken as it was awe inspiring highly recommend

2. once again i am a child by @lilaclavenders

“You’re not a spare tyre,” Adam interjects. “I know that,” Lance says, too unsure to sound completely defensive. “That almost sounded like a question.” “No... it didn’t,” Lance says.

Lance and Adam talk.

i have always been a fan of lance and adam even tho its the most evidence lacking fanon thing in this fandom. its truly just so interesting. and to have lance as a young cadet getting slammed so badly just in so many different directions being given at least one grownup in his corner...its a good read.

3. Lance the language man by @irish-vampire-blog

Lance didn't really try to learn a language. He just, kind of, picks up the basics and then works from there. Its usually unintentional. Ish.

He isn't stupid though. He isn't an idiot. He just isn't the same kind of smart as his friends are.

this kind of smart for lance is so REAL bc no he cannot do like quantum physics or whatever probably but the way he seems to have a pretty innate ability to successfully do many things that he tries. he just can u know?? thats the autism with the gay audacity i would imagine but i love seeing fics like this

4. my boyfriend's back (and you're gonna get in trouble) by teacupfulofbrains

hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back

Keith Kogane has never heard of Vine. Lance McClain takes personal offense to this, and makes it his personal mission to teach his boyfriend to meme. Keith is confused, mostly.

(OR: several instances of Keith not getting the meme™ and two times he did)

I LOVE THIS FIC SO BAD I CANT BELIEVE I HAVENT RECCED IT BEFORE. yes i am a cringe zillenial who still finds vine funny and quotes it on the internet but truly idc idc. this fic is funny. this fic is cute. established klance my love and light. also keith comparing lances eyes to the star of bombay is some of the gayest shit ever and also the only time i will entertain blue eyed lance

5. The Most Dangerous Thing is to Love by running_downn

Last time something like this happened to Lance, Keith wasn’t there. He’d thought he would have been able to do something if he had been there, or at least if he was, the guilt wouldn’t be so heavy on his chest. But this time he was there. He was right fucking there and he decided that it was infinitly worse.

Basically there's a new threat after the Galra and it almost kills Lance. Desperate making out ensues, but it's okay to recognize when it's not the right time for it. Keith cries a lot cause he's older and grizzled and therefore not as emotionally stunted.

green sock reality? team still out fighting as adults and lance isn’t a fucking farmer while the rest of the team isn’t? keith’s abandonment issues treated with respect and dignity and also the acknowledgement that he’s older and therefore mature enough to handle those issues in a way that doesn’t risk a relationship that is important to him? lance understanding all this and using the supportive nature he is known for??? yes yes yes. stellar fic that should have way more hits than it does

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

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genie-made-of-clouds · 1 year

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Shouta: hey, I heard you like bad boys

Hizashi: ????

Shouta: well I'm bad... at everything

Shouta: [winks with both eyes]

#at flirting you mean #sorry i can and will flodd my blog with this hc #mha aizawa #aizawa shouta #eraserhead #erasermic #yamada hizashi #hes confused #theyre idiots your honor #theyre all gay #:3 #boku no hero academia #present mic #bnha #mha #my hero academia #funny #incorrect bnha quotes #incorrect bnha

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literaryavenger · 3 months

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Captain America: Civil War - 3

Summary: The Winter Soldier gets triggered and it's up to Steve, Sam and you to make sure that Bucky doesn't get killed, doesn't kill anyone and doesn't get locked up again.

Pairing: Avengers x Reader, slight Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Descriptions of violence. Language. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 3.1K

A/N: Just to be clear, Bucky x Reader is my endgame, which is why I was so looking forward to get to Civil War because I knew I could get some scenes with Reader and our thicc Civil War Bucky.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

You get to the FBI bunker and get out of the SUV as Bucky’s pod is carried away by a forklift.

You and Steve both look at Bucky and, as Steve looks away, Bucky’s eyes meet yours for a second before he looks away again. All you can think about is how broken he looks, almost ashamed of his current situation.

You walk with Sam, Steve and T’Challa towards Sharon and a short man in a great suit.

“What's gonna happen to him?” You can’t help but ask.

“Same thing that ought to happen to you. Psychological evaluation and extradition.” the little man says.

“This is Everett Ross, Deputy Task Force Commander.” Sharon informs us.

“What about our lawyer?” Steve asks.

“Lawyer. That's funny.” Ross says. “See their weapons are placed in lockup. Oh, we'll write you a receipt.”

“I better not look out the window and see anybody flying around in that.” Sam says as they walk away with your gear.

You see the man carrying your gear playing around with a particular gadget. “I wouldn’t touch that, if I were you.” You warn him.

Almost as if just to piss you off the man activates the gadget and gets electrocuted, falling to the ground as you start laughing with a quiet "Dumbass".

As some other agents go to help the idiot you turn back to the group, Sam is grinning too and Sharon and T’Challa seem amused but Steve and Everett are glaring at you.

“What? I told him not to touch it!” You defend yourself, but it’s very clear you’re amused and have no regrets.

You all start walking, following Ross and he starts talking. “You'll be provided with an office instead of a cell. Now, do me a favor, stay in it?”

“I don't intend on going anywhere.” T’Challa says as Natasha joins your little group.

“For the record, this is what making things worse looks like.” She says looking directly at Steve.

“He's alive.” Steve answers as we approach Tony talking on the phone. You have to give it to Steve, at least he's consistent.

“No. Romania was not Accords-sanctioned. And, Colonel Rhodes is supervising cleanup.” Tony says on the phone.

“Try not to break anything while we fix this.” Natasha tells you all and you roll your eyes at her.

“Consequences? You bet there'll be consequences. Obviously you can quote me on that 'cause I just said it. Anything else? Thank you, sir.” Tony ends the call.

“'Consequences'?” You ask as you raise your eyebrow, your tone and facial expression clearly skeptical, not believing for a second that he’s serious about this.

“Secretary Ross wants all three of you prosecuted.” Tony answers. “Had to give him something.”

And, there he is. You chuckle quietly and could swear you saw a smirk in Tony’s face for a second.

“I'm not getting that shield back, am I?” Steve asks.

“Technically, it's the government's property.” Natasha says as she starts walking away before turning to you and Sam. “Wings and gear, too.”

“That's cold.” Sam says and you groan in annoyance; you love your gear.

“Warmer than jail.” Tony yells back while walking away with Nat and you roll your eyes.

You sigh deeply and turn to the two gentlemen next to you.

“Well, this is great.” You say sarcastically and, before they can say anything, some agents escort you and Sam to the office Ross spoke of, from which you can see the security cameras on Bucky, while Steve gets taken to another room for what you assume is gonna be questioning.

You and Sam are seated at the table next to each other as you see Bucky’s prison pod get connected to a pipe and the light inside it dims for a moment, just as Steve comes into the room where you and Sam are.

“What did they ask you?” You ask Steve as he comes to a stop in front of the glass where he can keep an eye on Bucky.

“Nothing, I was talking to Tony.” There's a pause where none of you talk, just watching Bucky before Steve quietly says. “Wanda’s being detained at the Compound.”

“What?!” you say loudly, startling both men. “What do you mean, she's detained?!”

“I think Tony doesn't want another accident to happen, so she's currently confined to the Compound” Steve elaborates.

“Fucking Stark…” You mumble under your breath, shaking your head in disappointment as you see Tony joining Natasha in the control room with Ross. You ignore Steve’s glare at your cursing and focus on Bucky in the screens in front of you even though you can't hear anything.

Your heart breaks a little for him at the way he’s being treated. After all Bucky’s whole situation wasn’t his choice, just a surprising amount of bad luck in the past 80 years.

After a minute Sharon enters the office you’re sitting in, handing us some papers. “The receipt for your gear.”

“‘Bird costume’? Come on!” Sam whines as you snort and laugh as he glares at you before glaring at Sharon.

“I didn’t write it.” She says defensively, then pushes a button that stops the restriction on the audio from Bucky’s cell and allows us to hear it on the little screen in the corner.

“I'm not here to judge you. I just want to ask you a few questions.” you can hear the psychiatrist say. “Do you know where you are, James? I can't help you if you don't talk to me, James.”

“My name is Bucky.” Bucky says calmly.

It’s the first time you hear him speak clearly and your eyes are glued to the screen. His voice is deep and gruff and you can’t help but find it attractive. You take a moment to really look at him and you think to yourself, for a brainwashed psycho assassin that’s almost 100 years old, he’s really quite handsome, isn’t he?

You’re brought back to the present by Steve’s voice. “Why would the Task Force release this photo to begin with?” He’s standing in front of the monitor, looking at the blurry photo of Bucky that was released on the news.

“Get the word out, involve as many eyes as we can?” Sharon answers.

“Right. It's a good way to flush a guy out of hiding.” Steve continues. “Set off a bomb, get your picture taken. Get seven billion people looking for the Winter Soldier.”

“You're saying someone framed him to find him?” You say with a frown, trying to follow his train of thought.

“Steve, we looked for the guy for two years and found nothing.” Sam points out.

“We didn't bomb the UN.” You point out absentmindedly.

“That turns a lot of heads.” Steve adds.

“Yeah, but that doesn't guarantee that whoever framed him would get him. It guarantees that we would.” Sharon says before trailing off and all of our attention drifts back to the screen where Bucky is being questioned by the psychiatrist.

“Yeah.” Steve says quietly.

“Tell me, Bucky. You've seen a great deal, haven't you?” the doctor asks.

“I don't want to talk about it.” Bucky says quietly.

“You fear that… if you open your mouth, the horrors might never stop. Don't worry.” The doctor taps his tablet to see something and you frown, everyone else’s expressions mirroring yours. “We only have to talk about one.”

Suddenly the lights go out in the bunker and you all look around confused. You can see people freaking out in the control room, Tony using FRIDAY through his glasses and Natasha looking around.

You look at Sharon and she simply says “Sub-level 5, east wing.” And you, Sam and Steve rapidly exit the room and head towards Bucky.

You arrive outside the chamber, red emergency lights flashing all around and agents slumped on the floor, all out cold.

You hear a feeble “Help me” and see the psychiatrist on the floor, clearly conscious, asking for help. Steve steps towards him and enters the room where Bucky's pod is, you barely enter it and Sam is right behind you at the threshold.

“Get up” He says and harshly grabs the doctor, shoving him against the wall. “Who are you? What do you want?”

“To see an empire fall.” Is all he says.

Suddenly there's movement behind you and you quickly turn around just in time to avoid Sam getting thrown into you and he lands against the pod instead.

You barely have time to react when you feel a punch in the stomach and stagger backwards against the wall, knocking the air out of you. You slide down on it and take a second to compose yourself as Steve starts fighting Bucky.

After what feels like a second Bucky sends Steve down an elevator and walks away. You groan and quickly get up, going to the elevator first.

“Please be alive, Rogers!” You shout down, as you try to look down.

“I’m okay!” He shouts back and you let out a breath of relief. “Find him!”

You don’t waste a second and run after him, catching up to him as he’s beating up a guard.

You put yourself in the middle of it after Bucky gets the better hand on the agent and takes his baton, you kick Bucky on the stomach but he barely moves.

At least you have his attention now and, when he looks at you, his eyes seem empty and void of any emotions. That’s not the same person you saw before. Those are not the same eyes you met when you got to the bunker.

You hesitate for a second and that’s enough for him to get the upper hand, grabbing you and throwing you over a table. He has a gun you assume he took from the other agent and aims it at you but, just as he’s about to pull the trigger, he gets disoriented by a stun-burst from Tony,that makes you cover your ears, then there’s a flash of light and then Bucky and Tony are fighting.

You take a moment to breathe and suddenly Tony’s on the ground and you go to him to make sure he’s okay while Natasha and Sharon take care of Bucky.

“Are you okay?” You ask him, worried, helping him sit up.

“Just dandy.” He says breathlessly.

Both of your attentions go to Sharon when she gets slammed into a table next to you and you both go to her. She’s conscious but before you can say anything, she points to something behind you and you turn around to see Bucky getting tackled off of Natasha by T’Challa.

You get up and go to Natasha as she’s taking in deep breaths after Bucky almost choked her, you help her sit up before turning around but both Bucky and T’Challa are already gone.

When you turn back to Natasha, she’s already looking at you. “Go” is all she says and you know she’s right, you should go before you get detained again.

You nod to her and all but run outside, where you see Sam just standing there in the middle of the running crowd. You go to him and, when he notices you, he shows you a hoodie that you assume to be the psychiatrist’s.

“I lost the doctor.” He confirms your theory.

“I lost the soldier.” You tell him and he sighs, as you both look around.

“We should get out of here” He says after a moment, looking at a group of guards.

You follow his line of sight and when you notice the guards too, you say “Yes, we should.” and you both start almost running, putting as much distance between yourselves and the FBI as you can.

-[Time skip to when they’re in the warehouse because I’m lazy and don’t want to make up all the stuff in the middle]-

While Steve and Sam wait for Bucky to regain consciousness you go to look for a first aid kit.

You’re all mostly fine, but Bucky has a cut in the forehead that Steve informed you occurred when he hit the windshield of a chopper, which is why he is unconscious.

It takes you a little time to get back to the abandoned warehouse they’re hiding in because of the pain in your torso, which you’re pretty sure is because your ribs are bruised.

By the time you’re back Bucky is awake and his metal arm is free. You hear him talking as you get closer to the room they’re in and the last thing he says is “You’d never see them coming.” before the three men notice you.

You completely enter the room, standing next to Sam but your eyes don’t leave Bucky, rightfully wary of the man.

“Don’t worry, he’s back to himself.” Steve says when he notices your careful and calculated moves.

“I am worried. He also tried to kill me as himself.” You say, looking away from Bucky and to the two men next to you.

“I wasn’t trying to kill you, I was trying not to get captured by you.” Bucky addresses you directly for the first time ever with an accusatory tone.

“Semantics.” You answer, looking back at him and narrowing your eyes. Your defiant, but admittedly childish, answer seems to surprise Bucky but it gets a chuckle out of Sam and a groan out of Steve.

“Just… please.” Steve says to you, almost begging you. “Help him.”

You roll your eyes and groan, mumbling an annoyed “Fine.” while cautiously moving towards Bucky. As you kneel in front of him and open the first aid kit you can hear Steve and Sam talking, but pay them no mind.

“You know I’m a supersoldier, right?” Bucky asks you quietly.

“Supersoldiers can bleed too.” you say while looking down and not at him, looking through the stuff in the kit. “The image of an unconscious and beaten up Steve in a hospital bed comes to mind.”

He knows you’re talking about Steve’s conditions after the whole Project Insight situation in DC, and you can tell he feels bad about it as he instantly looks away from you.

“Sorry,” you say with a sigh “That was mean.”

He seems to perk up a little at your apology and looks back at you.

“It’s okay.” You look up at him. “I kind of deserved it.”

You smile a little at this, and start to take out the stuff you’ll need as you say “You kind of did.”

You go to clean his cut but wince slightly, you almost forgot about your injuries. You take a deep breath and start carefully cleaning his cut and the blood off his forehead.

“Did I hurt you?” He asks you quietly, seemingly concerned that you’re in pain.

“Don’t worry.” You tell him just as quietly. “It’s nothing I can’t handle, Sergeant.”

“I bet you can, doll.” You almost feel like you imagined the nickname, but you’re positive you saw a grin on his face for half a second.

You can feel his eyes glued to your face as you take care of his cut, silently watching you work. You almost feel like he’s memorizing every detail of your face, like he’s trying to figure out everything about you right in that instance.

When you’re done you take a second to look into his eyes, expecting him to look away, but he holds your gaze and you feel your heart skip a beat by the intensity of his stare. After a moment you slowly get up, your eyes still locked on his and take a step back.

When you finally turn around you see Steve watching your interaction with a very curious look and, when you meet his eyes, he raises an eyebrow at you. You roll your eyes and ignore his silent question, getting closer to him and looking around for Sam, who you see just outside the room on the phone.

“Who’s he talking to?” You ask Steve.

“Don’t know” He shrugs. “Just said he knew a guy.”

A second later Sam gets closer as he ends the call.

“Alright, thanks, Scott.” He says and hangs up.

You raise your eyebrow at him. “Scott? Really?” You ask smirking and he groans, rolling his eyes while Steve just looks at us confused at why you’re so amused by this because he still doesn’t know about the time Scott breached the Compound and kicked Sam’s ass.

“I’m just saying, this isn’t really the most practical getaway car…” You say as the four of you make your way to meet Sharon in an old Volkswagen Beetle.

“It’s low profile” Steve defends his choice from in front of you, Bucky in the backseat to your right and Sam in front of him in the passenger’s seat.

“It’s really not, Steve.” you say back as Steve groans, prompting a snicker from Sam and, surprisingly, from Bucky too. You’re about to point out that this old car sticks out when Steve parks and gets out to talk to Sharon.

You can’t hear what they’re saying but you can see them looking at the Buggy for a second before Sharon opens the trunk of her car. Your joy about seeing your gear is a little overshadowed by Bucky’s voice as he talks to Sam.

“Can you move your seat up?” He asks, surprisingly polite.

“No.” Is all Sam says, being the petty bitch that he is. You roll your eyes at him, you get that the last time a car was involved with Bucky in the mix it didn’t go great, but still.

“Here, switch with me.” You tell Bucky and pull him to the middle seat, then climb over him to slide into his seat, being sure to smack Sam in the back of his head as you go and smirking at the loud “Ow” he lets out. You look back at Bucky and see him blushing slightly and you can’t help but smile.

When you look back at Steve and Sharon you can see them kissing and you let out an amused giggle. It looks like Captain Virgin finally got some.

They talk for another second before Sharon goes to her car and Steve turns to the three of you as you all smirk and you even wink at him. You can see him groan and roll his eyes before grabbing your gear and putting it in the trunk of the Buggy.

When he gets into the driver’s seat the only thing he says is “Not one word.” while the three of you quietly laugh but don’t tease him further.

He drives off and you look out the window, knowing that the hardest part is about to come. Whatever comes next sure won’t be as fun.

Requested taglist: @sapphirebarnes @aki-ham

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liesmyth · 6 months

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@takiki16 tags on my post are too good not to be shared! The context is wild shit that legit happened in IRL football ⚽ that I need the Ted Lasso fandom to be aware of, because it'd make for excellent fic material:

the MANAGERS #the PERSONAL DRAMA#I KNOW that ted lasso is not designed to be an actual realistic show #I KNOW that this whole thing did in fact begin as a way to soft trap Americans into watching the Prem #to the point that JOSE FUCKING MOURINHO ACTUALLY HAD A PART IN THE ORIGINAL NBC AD #I do NOT want to change the vibe of the show at all #(but like…a dramedy about the EPL that REALLY wanted to roast some fuckers would perhaps…NOT look like ted lasso #if they wanted to start with the managers it would just be two middle aged idiots with BOILING beef #who had to be physically restrained from throwing hands every other game and have personally destroyed each others’ marriages

Okay WHO would Roy have managerial beef with. I vote Arteta. Actually as @elizabear suggests, it's funnier if it's one sided

He would also instinctively dislike Rob Edwards of Luton because Jamie once said he's the hottest manager in the EPL. Roy's annoyed and he doesn't know why. (Rob Edwards is very hot)

For an example of managers throwing hands... the Tuchel/Conte handshake

In fact here's a whole compilation of managers throwing hands.

Thank you for bringing up Mourinho! This is his ad, btw. "What do you WANT Ted?" lives in my mind rent-free

youtube

After much soul-searching I've decided Roy likes Mou a lot among all the managers he's played for. YES, he is a total cunt BUT

he's really fucking funny about it. Like, really.

he's never met a referee he didn't have beef with but most of all Anthony Taylor (as a Roma fan I have to agree with him on that)

the entire 2005 Chelsea team would've died for him. I've said this before, but there can't be a Frank Lampard in TL if Roy plays the box-to-box midfielder role, so this quote about Mourinho walking into Lampard naked in the shower to give him a pep talk? That's Roy. To me.

I can't even pick a quote among all the shit he's said about all the managers he's played against, but I especially enjoy when he used to be a bitch about Pep and Pep was like "I don't know her." It was like a one-sided crush dating back from their Barca days

#if they wanted it to be about the players the literal sky is the limit. WHATEVER the writers room can come up with#it cannot come CLOSE to the batshit drama that real Sockckckckcer Playahs have amongst each other#also intricate rituals. NOT ENOUGH INTRICATE RITUALS#when Jamie scored that free kick after getting permission to be a prick Dani should have kissed him with tongue

Here's some homoeroticism:

#but TO COME BACK TO OP’S POINT ABOUT ACTUAL GAMEPLAY#I want to see Coach Roy get red carded and have to sit in the stands for the next game cursing and swearing

He'd get, like, 3 red cards a season MINIMUM. Mourinho who. Here's Klopp losing it a bit. Here's Pep being passive aggressive as fuck. Pochettino from 2 days ago. Also from last weekend: De Zerbi's "I don't like 80% of referees in England" he's so right for this.

Manager Roy would get himself red carded the week before Richmond play Chelsea away. Totally accidental. So he doesn't have to have a lil cry about it.

#I want to see what it would take to get Zoreaux sent off#and then they have to stick Bumbercatch in goal and it turns out he has some Hyper Specific Phobia about the situation#he manages to save the team but his coping mechanisms for dealing with Forcible Keeper Phobia make up the comedy B-plot of the episode#

I want CLUB RIVALRY. dunno where Richmond actually physically is but imagine if they had derbies#Ted has to be made to understand that no coach - for THIS game we will not stop till we see BLOOD#Richmond wins but bc they are playing away the home fans actively are tossing crap at them as they celebrate on the pitch#also the sprinklers come on and it’s a bus full of soaked greyhounds on the ride home

They're in West London! Maybe they just fucking hate Fulham. Or Brentford.

Actually, I've thought long and hard about Richmond's derby rivalries. Semi-canon sources say they have a bit of a West London rivalry with Brentford BUT to me it doesn't make much sense because Richmond are supposed to have been mid-table in the Prem for years, top-flight but mediocre. Brentford only made it to the Prem in 2021.

Actually, I've decided that Richmond kind of take the place of QPR for most of their history, except they didn't get relegated when QPR did. This is because 1) it'd be too many London-based clubs otherwise but, more importantly, 2) when Man City won their first title in 2012 with Agueeeeeero!!! that was against Richmond. It's funny, To Me.

Also you know Roy still fucking hates Newcastle from his Sunderland academy days. If his pundit career had lasted longer he'd be having top tier shithousery with Alan Shearer every week about it.

Anyway here's a whole youtube playlist about WILD derbies.

#ALSO BC SUAREZ IS COMING TO MIAMI - BITING INCIDENTS CAN THEY DO THAT

As an Italian I am legally obliged to SAY that if Suarez hadn't bitten Chiellini at the World Cup we would have gone past the group stage because Uruguay scored off a corner they won while Italy were all busy telling the ref that there was a fucking cannibal on the pitch. I don't forgive and I don't forget.

Anyway for context: cannibal Luis Suarez. He's a repeat offender. Someone at Richmond would think it was very funny

youtube

#once again sticking this footie post in the tag #ted lasso #FIC AUTHORS I HOPE THIS INSPIRES YOU #tumblr user taakiki16 you're SO valid for those tags I love them #sports #i'm sorry re roy & mourinho it's just true. roy in his prime playing days wouldn't have cared about the cuntery #as a manager he wouldn't be shit to his physio but as a player? sorry it wasn't a deal breaker. he likes mou more than ancelotti. to me #ted lasso meta #i mean. sort of lmao #long post #afc richmond #roy kent #various irl footie people #futbol

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84583991919 · 8 months

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ATSV Incorrect Quotes Pt.3: The spider-kids (or spider-band, depending on what you prefer)

Part 4 will be the adults, just as an fyi

Hobie: What’s something you guys are better than Miles at? Pavitr: Mario Kart. Margo: Yeah, video games. Gwen: Emotional vulnerability

Pavitr: Miles, I know you snuck out to see Gwen last night. Miles: If you tell Margo or Hobie, I swear I’ll murder you, and they’ll never find the body. Pavitr: Five bucks? Miles: Fine.

Miles: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Margo: Several traffic violations. Pavitr: Three counts of resisting arrest. Gwen: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Hobie: Also, that’s not our car.

Margo: Where's Pavitr, Miles, and Hobie? Gwen: They're playing hide and seek. Margo: Where? Gwen: I don't think you get how this game works.

Margo: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell. Hobie, Gwen, Pavitr, and Miles: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

Pavitr: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be? Margo: Maybe a bit tipsy? Miles: Drunk. Gwen: Wasted. Hobie: Dead.

Margo, about Gwen and Miles: My god, would you two just get a room already? Miles: Excuse me, Margo? Margo: You both just keep agreeing about horrifying things and relishing everybody else's misery. So seriously, when's the wedding? Gwen: ... Hobie: I ship it! Pavitr: CAN YOU NOT?

Miles: I truly hate it here <3 Margo: Now replace “it” with “women”. Not so funny now, is it? Pavitr: Now replace “it” with “women”. Not so funny now, is women? Hobie: Now replace “funny” with “women”. Not so women now, is funny? Gwen: I’m having a fucking stroke. Pavitr: Now replace “stroke” with “baby”. Congratulations!

Miles: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight? Pavitr: Why? Miles: Hobie fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours. Gwen: Margo doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

Pavitr: You're a lying piece of shit! Hobie: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Miles: I'm leaving and I'm taking Gwen with me! Margo, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

Margo: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl.... Miles: .... Gwen: ..... Hobie: ...... Pavitr: ..Who? Margo: That's the thing we don't- *Everyone stares at Pavitr*

Margo: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple... Gwen: I really care about your feelings! Miles: I really care about YOUR feelings! Margo, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple... Hobie: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL! Pavitr: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

Hobie: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Margo: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. Miles: Three of us saw it, Margo. How do you explain that? Margo: *points at Gwen* Sleep deprivation. *points at Miles* Paranoia. *points at Pavitr* Delusional personality disorder.

Hobie: Alright Gwen, Pavitr. Let's go over this one more time. Hobie: If something breaks? Gwen: We try to fix it before Margo gets home. Hobie: If it doesn't work? Pavitr: We blame Miles. Miles: Seriously guys, what the hell?!

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing* Pavitr: Would never stab anyone. Gwen: Would stab someone in retaliation. Miles: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first. Margo: Would stab without warning. Hobie: Would stab as a warning.

Margo: Pavitr is a strings kid. We must sacrifice them to the band gods. Hobie: Yes. Miles: You're right. It'd be a good initiation for me. Pavitr: Wait, guys, what about the truce we signed- Hobie: What truce? Margo: *sigh* The truce that we must destroy all the choir kids and leave the strings alone. Gwen: Wait, I'm a choir kid! Everyone else: *prepares for sacrifice*

Gwen: There's no meeting today because Miles is at the police station. Pavitr: They're in jail?! Hobie: We have to get them out! Margo: Jailbreak! I'm in! Hobie: I'll dress up and distract the guard! Margo: Ooh, I'll bake some food to help distract ALL the guards! Pavitr: I guess I could bring my frying pan in case we need a shield to keep us from being shot- Gwen: No! Miles wasn't arrested! They're undercover, taking the system down from the inside. They don't need our help!

Margo: Time for plan G. Gwen: Don’t you mean plan B? Margo: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Miles: What about plan D? Margo: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Pavitr: What about plan E? Margo: I’m hoping not to use it. Hobie dies in plan E. Hobie: I like plan E

*Everyone is giving advice to Margo* Gwen: It's okay to ask for help. Miles: You're not a burden. Hobie: Murder is okay. Pavitr: Your feelings matter.

Gwen: Plants have feelings too?! What is this? Now I can't have food! Pavitr: You can eat a rock. Miles: Air. Margo: The fabric of time and space. Hobie: Chugging a bottle of bleach can solve all your problems. Gwen: You guys are not helpful.

Gwen: Good morning. Miles: Good morning. Margo: Good morning. Pavitr: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Hobie: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

Miles: What do you guys do when you're stressed? Margo: Try and calm myself down! Gwen: Sleep. Hobie: Get myself into even more stress, so that the first reason for my stress gets cancelled out. Pavitr: I don't.

#atsv #gwen stacy #gwiles #gwen x miles #miles morales #miles x gwen #across the spider verse #ghostflower #hobie brown #pavitr prabhakar #margo kess #goldenpunk #spider gwen #spider man #spider punk

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