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sebscore · 1 year

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THE GRID'S DELIGHT | SERIES MASTERLIST

summary: the shenanigans of female gen z driver and the formula one grid.

author’s note: I started this series, because I'd like to imagine what it would be like to be part of the group of drivers and how it would be like to interact with them on a regular basis. It's all fun and games, and I don't know these people in real life. everything is fiction! the stories aren't written in chronological order, but I try to put them in the right order below!

Requests are always welcome in my inbox! Opinions, thoughts and feedback are also greatly appreciated.

— ABOUT THE OC

HEADCANONS || MORE HEADCANONS

:: Things about being the only female driver on the ‘22 grid.

DRIVER X TGD HEADCANONS

:: The dynamics between driver!reader and the formula 1 drivers. in the link you can find the masterlist.

EXTRAS

:: this includes thoughts, opinions, etc about the series. it doesn’t include requests.

— 2018

WELCOME TO THE STRANGE WORLD

:: Y/N makes her F1 debut at the 2018 Australian Grand Prix.

THE PRIZE THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

:: Y/N accepts the 'Rookie of the Year' award and receives a suprise from a special someone on stage.

— 2020

TWITCH WAR

:: lando insults Y/N’s gaming skills and the events that followed.

PLEASE RISE FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM

:: An error in the sound system causes for the wrong song to play instead of Y/N’s national anthem.

— 2021

THE MORE YOU KNOW

:: Y/N teaches Sebastian and Fernando what ‘bop’ means.

NO ONE LIKES A MAD WOMAN

:: Y/N receives a complaint from the FIA during the driver's briefing and no one is happy about it.

BREAK UP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, I'M BORED

:: Y/N flirts with a stranger not knowing she's the girlfriend of another F1 driver on the grid.

THIS IS ALL I NEVER WANTED

:: Y/N goes through a rough patch and the drivers notice.

LET IT SPIRAL

:: Y/N gets into a crash and Seb & George come to the rescue.

SLOW DOWN, RED FLAG

:: The commentators are shocked by Y/N’s red flag habit.

BE YOUR WINGMAN

:: Y/N tries to get through an interview with Jenson, Daniel and Sebastian.

GIDDY GOODBYES

:: Y/N and Kimi bid each other goodbye at the 2021 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix.

— 2022

A MAN’S WORLD

:: Y/N is asked about Christian Horner’s sexist comments.

THE ORIGIN OF RUSSY BUSSY

:: the title is pretty self-explanatory.

WHAT HAPPENS IN MONACO, STAYS IN MONACO

:: Y/N goes on a blind date and returns with a hickey the next day.

THE HELMET BET

:: Y/N and Zhou decide who the second best dressed driver on the grid is through a bet that involves holding the other drivers hostage at the driver's briefing.

GOSSIP GRID

:: Charles and Pierre don't trust Y/N when it comes to rumors around Oscar Piastri's move to McLaren.

RUMOUR HAS IT

:: Y/N and her fellow younger drivers react to certain rumours that have been going around about her love life, and it might include two colleagues of hers.

MONZA MANICURE

:: Daniel makes it up to Y/N for breaking her nail during a race.

LITTLE MISS BLACK DRESS

:: f1 drivers and their reactions to Y/N looking gorgeous in a dress.

KEEPING UP WITH THE GRID

:: What happens when Y/N takes over Martin's grid walk?

THE LAST SUPPER

:: The drivers celebrate the life and career of Sebastian Vettel at Abu Dhabi and Y/N has a great story to tell.

— 2023

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY

:: Daniel, Lewis and Sebastian show their appreciation for Y/N on International Women's Day.

GLASS HALF FULL KINDA GAL

:: Y/N goes on Instagram live to try out Daniel’s new wine, and the drivers react to it in the comments.

MONTE-CARLO MADNESS

:: Y/N meets her old mentor after months and experiences a chaotic qualifying in Monaco.

PUT IT INTO SPEED DRIVE

:: Y/N and the Twitch Quartet go on a small adventure in the streets of Monaco.

SNITCHES GET STITCHES

:: A collection of moments at the 2023 Austria Grand Prix.

LATE NIGHT TALKING

:: Pierre asks the question: “Out of all the drivers, who would you date?”

— 2024

EXCUSE ME

:: Y/N finds out about Lewis’ Ferrari move before the official announcement.

#f1 fic #f1 x reader #f1 fics #formula 1 fic #f1 x oc

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sheriiam · 11 months

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Since today marks the 53rd year since the first Pride parade took place, let's dive into the history of the "progress" of our Pride flag.

This new flag is called the Intersex-Inclusive Progress Pride Flag, created by Valentino Vecchietti of Intersex Equality Rights UK in 2021. It is an update to the previous Progress Pride Flag created in 2018 by Daniel Quasar.

The original pride flag was created in the 1970s by gay activist Gilbert Baker, friend of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in California. The flag made its debut at the San Francisco Gay Freedom Day Parade celebration on June 25, 1978. Baker used eight colors―

― hot pink for sexuality, red for life, orange for healing, yellow for the sun, green for nature, turquoise for art, indigo for harmony, and violet for spirit.

Why Was Pink Removed From the Pride Flag?

The original hot pink color was removed from the pride flag because the fabric was difficult to find.

The Progress Pride Flag was created with the inspiration of other pride flags—specifically, the Philadelphia Pride Flag from 2017 and the trans flag.

The Philadelphia Pride Flag had black and brown vertical stripes added. The trans flag, created in 1999, is pink, baby blue, and white. Both of these flags inspired the design of the new pride flag.

Black and Brown Represents People of Color

The Philadelphia Pride Flag was designed by the Philadelphia Office of LGBT Affairs and was done in partnership with advertising agency Tierney. It was introduced at a City Hall ceremony in June of 2017. The flag showed the traditional six rainbow colors in horizontal stripes, with a black and a brown stripe atop them.

The colors black and brown were added to the Progress Pride Flag to represent people of color (POC). This was an important addition because people of color have often been left out of the queer narrative despite being the driving force behind the movement.

With the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement, culture at large began to shift in a much-needed way towards acknowledging the vital roles that people of color have had in our society. The pride movement background is one of many areas where POC, particularly Black people, did not receive the recognition they deserved historically. Adding colors to represent them on the flag is one way to change that.

Additionally, the black and brown stripes are meant to represent people living with HIV/AIDS, those who have died from it, and the stigma around the virus that is still present in our society now.

Pink, Baby Blue, and White Represent Trans People

Transwoman Monica Helms created the trans pride flag, which first flew in a pride parade in Phoenix, Arizona back in 2000. Monica Helms is a transgender activist, author, and U.S. Navy veteran.

Traditionally, the colors pink and baby blue have been used to represent whether a baby is a boy or a girl. Here, the colors denote those genders. The color white represents people who are transitioning, intersex, or identify outside of the gender binary.

The word "progress" in the new flag isn't only about adding the new colors to it. It's also because of the shape, which differs from the original design of horizontal stripes only. The Progress Pride Flag shows the white, pink, baby blue, black, and brown stripes in a triangle shape, with the old six-color rainbow stacked next to them.

This was done intentionally to convey the separation in meaning and shift focus to how important the issues represented on the left are.

The placement of the new colors in an arrow shape is meant to convey the progress still needed. Quasar spoke publicly about how work is still needed in terms of POC and trans rights. This arrow design is meant to highlight that.

Although the Pride flag continues to evolve, the most recent update includes a yellow triangle with a purple circle inside it to represent the intersex community. It now serves as the most up-to-date LGBTQIA+ flag.

#lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+#lgbtqia #lgbtqia+#lesbian #gay #bisexual #transgender #queer #intersex #asexual #aromantic #non binary #nonbinary #pride month #pride #pride parade #june

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piosplayhouse · 7 months

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I said this in my big tag wall but also I think it's so interesting I will say it separately as well. The supercorp/wangxian instance is particularly interesting as cw supergirl and mdzs both released within a literal week of each other (oct. 26 2015 and oct. 31 2015 respectively) and would continue to run relatively concurrently with supergirl concluding in 2021 after a 6 season run and mdzs having its last major adaptations (the untamed and donghua) debut and end in 2018-2021.

So in terms of fandom longevity and temporal relevancy, they are about as equal as you can get in those regards in the competition interestingly enough, albeit with vastly different cultural and creation contexts. While supergirl has always been a big budget corporate property with an already established fanbase, mdzs has undergone a bit of a strange shift where over the course of its lifetime it's been molded from a small scale indie project by a relatively unknown young author into a big budget corporate property commandeered by basically the Disney corporation of China. So these fandoms grew completely independent of each other with little to no overlap over the same period of time, leading to the sort of dissonance we saw within the notes of the poll where both sides considered the other property irrelevant, with no opportunity for any fandom crossover due to language barrier and platform dominance (Tumblr vs Weibo) until the 2020s when both had already built sizable insular fandom spheres and would largely continue to not interact with each other.

It's a bit of an interesting case of convergent evolution I think, and it's a little sad that the poll got so heated when there's a lot of research points that could've been touched on for some good old scientific analysis

#long post #ao3 top ships poll #long posts

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syoul · 4 months

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⟢　　 HALF 　　 HEART, 　　 ALL 　　 SO(U)L 　　 !

SO(U)L, often stylized as SYOUL by fans, is a fictional seven-member boy group under STRMRUNNER Media—a company created and co-owned by JYP Entertainment and HYBE Corporation—that debuted on DECEMBER 3RD, 2018 with the mini-album Epilogue containing two title songs. prior to their debut, no official information about them had been revealed to the public. the group was formed by a combined number of trainees from both major companies, three from hybe co. and four from jyp entertainment. they quickly became known for their synchronization and stunning live vocals, ranking among the top idol groups in those categories.

however, their story didn’t start there.

originally stepping into the limelight on JANUARY 4TH, 2018, six out of the seven current members would partake in the making and recording of their pre-debut single, Ignorance in Bliss, and released it to the public through both the official hybe labels channel and strmrunner media’s. the song only just managed to pull two million views within the first week of publication but formally introduced the new group as The Soul Project, succeeding in at least getting their name out there. with both companies choosing to not reveal any information about who was to be in the group, and almost acting as if they never existed, the solid fan base they could’ve had dwindled down to just a handful of dedicated people.

Ignorance in Bliss would make its short rounds on social media for the next month, slowing down gradually, before eventually coming to a complete halt. both fans and the companies had moved on by that point, focusing on their current and upcoming acts. it would continue to only be radio silence from here on out.

by october, the seven members still had yet to be revealed, but on the 23rd of that month, an article would make its way into the public eye; specifically on twitter. titled The Soul Search and written by someone under the pseudonym Blanc, the author went into detail about the research they had been doing for the past nine months to find any and all information they could about the group. while they clarified that the contents found were all to be taken with a grain of salt, there was no denying the fact that the supposed track details—and most shockingly of all—profiles containing the names, ages, and even some of the members’ faces, had been leaked.

while strmrunner media made no official comments on the situation, it’s speculated that the group��s debut was moved to be a week earlier than originally planned. hitting the internet on december 3rd with the title tracks Ignorance in Bliss, an overlooked gem, and Back to You, their mini-album instantly became a hit and earned them the recognition they deserved for their earlier efforts and turbulence they faced. the seven would quickly establish their brand as an entirely self-produced group soon after, a way to distance themselves from the management that failed to do anything for them. claiming the titles of all-rounder kings, they’ve gained the reputation for their lyricism, stage presence, and quality concept.

⟢　　 THE 　　 BASICS 　　 !

⸝⸝ 　 GROUP NAME : 　 SO(U)L 　/　 SYOUL 　 ( 소울 )

⸝⸝ 　 COMPANY : 　 STRMRUNNER Media

⸝⸝ 　 PRE-DEBUT DATE : 　 January 4th, 2018

⸝⸝ 　 PRE-DEBUT SONG : 　 Ignorance in Bliss 　 ( single )

⸝⸝ 　 DEBUT DATE : 　 December 3rd, 2018

⸝⸝ 　 DEBUT RELEASE : 　 Epilogue 　 ( mini-album )

⸝⸝ 　 DEBUT SONGS : 　 Back to You & Ignorance in Bliss

⸝⸝ 　 MAIN GENRES : 　 Alt r&b, contemp. r&b, pop-punk

⸝⸝ 　 GREETING : 　 “Part of one! We are, SO(U)L!”

⸝⸝ 　 FANDOM NAME : 　 Yu 　/　 Yunies 　 ( 유 / 유니스 )

⟢　　 CONCEPT 　　 THEMES 　　 !

caution : angels, life & death, mortality, reincarnation, facing reality, grief, what it means to be humans.

the strangely bittersweet tale of seven friends who tragically passed away, one not too long after the other. six would reappear in the form of benevolent beings, forced to watch over humanity yet never connect back to it. the last would forever be stuck on earth, soul tethered to the ground, resulting in his constant reincarnation after death.

⟢　　 THE 　　 PIECES 　　 OF 　　 SO(U)L 　　 !

since their debut, the members featured in the lineup have not changed and continue to be seven. once mentioned by their leader during an introductory video to the group, the members are officially all-rounders that switch up roles with each comeback. “management were the ones to position us,” he stated, “but please don’t misunderstand, we’re all capable of much more than our labels.”

˒ kim ISEUL 1998, main vocalist, dancer, visual ˒ choi OLIVER 1999, main dancer, lead rapper ˒ kang SEOJUN 1999, leader, main rapper, vocalist, visual ˒ baek “MARS” hyunwoo 1999, lead rapper, vocalist ˒ gong “KJ” kaijun 2000, main vocalist, lead dancer ˒ yoshinaga “RYO” ryota 2000, main dancer, vocalist ˒ kwak “SEVEN” yunseo 2001, lead vocalist, lead dancer, visual 　

#i. 　❝ ... now i'm free. ❞ 　﹕⠀ profile.#fictional idol community #fake kpop boy group #fake idol group #fictional idol group #fake kpop group #kpop oc #idol oc #fictional idol oc #oc kpop group #oc idol #oc kpop idol #fake kpop oc #fake kpop idol #stray kids addition

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caw4brandon · 2 months

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Zutomayo: Mystery of Cool

Foreign Music has always been a strange thing both for the world and for myself personally. While everyone can appreciate a good Taylor Swift or some English indie. The world has a strange obsession with exotic musicians of a different language.

In retrospect, the K-pop boom: Super Junior, Girls Generation and Blackpink showed that music, doesn't matter in terms of the language. (not really)

It values the cool factor and the massive influence it causes to the internet. Just look at how [K-Pop artist; PSY] managed to unite the world. For me. My "Blackpink" is this faceless group?

- 「私もそうだよ」 -

Translation: [Everything is fine with me]

Debuted in 2018, Zutomayo (full name: Zutto Mayonaka De Iinoni) is a Japanese rock group. Translates as: I wish it was midnight all the time.

On June 4, 2018. Zutomayo released their first song on YouTube, [Byōshin o Kamu/ 秒針を噛む] becoming an immediate hit. Having 200,000 views within the first week. Assisted with an animated music video with a cast of peculiar characters.

Over the last seven years, the group has progressed from using just traditional instruments to adding non-traditional instruments.

Based on their live concerts. The group is seen using something called; [Electronicos Fantasticos/ Nicos] which is a collection of used electronic equipment turned into a pseudo instrument.

ZTMY's group members is uncertain since a lot of their talents alternate song by song. Their only consistent member is vocalist and songwriter; ACA-Ne/ ACAね an unidentified singer whose range is described as; energetic, expressive, and delicate.

- 今日どうしよ？-

Translation: [What should I do today?]

If we were to describe Zutomayo's type of music. It would be difficult to narrow down as to what ZTMY's genre fall under. The general belief is that they are rock based but is riddled with techno on the side.

Whatever the case, the group's music has its own unique identity. Upon listening to their songs (for multiple times) the group prioritizes on the bass guitar, the chaotic slams of the keyboard and the Nicos. Lyric wise, its rather difficult to paint a discernable picture since its of a different language. According to some Japanese listeners, ZTMY's songs to have a lot of wordplay and double meaning in its phrasing.

In the song, [お勉強しといてよ/ STUDY ME] the song spews a jumble of nonsense. However, the music video tells a unique story. STUDY ME follows a girl who is stuck in a perpetual cycle where she is somewhat complacent with her being a background character. Until she realizes that she can make a difference in defiance of her program.

Another song, [勘ぐれい/ Hunch Gray] its lyrics share the sentiment of chasing one's dreams but is uncertain about the venture. Trapped in a distorting world where the answers are unclear.

Still, the author wants to continue. Confronting problems one at a time. The video however, is about two childhood friends who got separated by dark entities of authority and is in the midst of a rescue mission.

- 3,2,1...Mirror Tune! -

Its worth mentioning the iconography found in ZTMY's music videos. For the most part, the main characters are mostly human. Nira-chan is the girl seen in both [STUDY ME] and in another song; [暗く黒く/Darken] although she is more cyborg than human in the latter.

The videos are animated by several independent artists such as; [tvchany] for their stylish and sharp style on [ミラーチューン/Mirror Tune] and [残機/Time Left] Another artist, [sakiyama] uses a rather messy and incredibly expressive style seen in [勘冴えて悔しいわ/ Kansaete Kuyashiiwa] which played this meta joke of its main character attempting to save the characters from the other videos.

I could honestly go on about the various art styles found in Zutomayo's MVs. There is also an official [Card Game] for them all. On the topic of consistency, The one creature seen in all of its videos is the adorable Hedgehog; Uniguri-kun.

With that said, Zutomayo is a mysterious group of talents shrouded in shadow. Both the musicians to ACA-Ne herself. It adds excitement to the identity of the alluring talent but it also enhances the variety of genres found in their music. Allowing its audience to explore and experience a type of music they rarely listen to.

ZTMY takes away the popularity because, unlike other bands. They don't exactly have a "face" to refer to. Rather, they let their songs and the MVs speak to the fans both in Japan and overseas.

Zutomayo is not just music but also an exploration of style. As seen with their clothing line. It's an inbred of Easter eggs with its upbeat songs filled with messages of melancholy. That is what makes ZTMY mysteriously cool~

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gloster · 4 months

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FAVORITE FANFICS OF 2023

We did it. We made it. We made it through the end of 2023, and BOY AM I HAPPY AS HELL TO SAY GOOD-FUCKING-BYE TO IT. I don't know about you guys, but this year- particularly the last quarter- have been a lot to say the least. A lot of headaches, a lot of mental breakdowns, a lot of emotional gymnastics, and more.

But thanks to good friends, good shows, good music, and of course good fanfics I managed to see it through the end.

One of my favorite New Year's Eve's traditions where I do my annually fanfic recs/favorite fanfics of the year. This marks a whooping 5th year doing it, YAY 🎉💃🏿 If interested, check out 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022 lists.

Please know there's no real ranking, despite the number ordering. Loved all these stories listed. Loved all the fanfics writers featured. And of course highly highly highly recommend

Without further ado, here are my favorite fanfics of 2023:

1). Something Good by @no-net-ensnares-me (kathony/kanthony)

Summary: Eager to earn a wage that would provide a more suitable life for her family and prepare for Edwina’s debut in a couple years, Kate accepts a position as governess for the Bridgerton family and moves to London, where she finds herself thrown into the chaos of living with the severe yet handsome Viscount Anthony Bridgerton and his seven siblings.

The Sound of Music AU

The Hills are aliiiiiiiiiiiiive with the sound of music/and the feels are FEEEEEEEEEELT with each new chapter. LOL, but all jokes aside, yes it's been a year since we saw our dear Viscount and Viscountess yet I still ride hard for them like it's their season premire all over again. Thanks of course to the awesome fic writers who keep us well-feed as we wait for season 3, such as this gem right here

Seriously, I cannot stress how insanely good this was. A good retelling where you see elements of Sound of Music while also being its' own thing. The longing, the longing between Kate and Anthony is so good. READ IT.

2). A Devil's Love by FormerlyIR (Irony_Rocks), Irony_Rocks (kathony/kanthony)

Summary: When Kate's sister goes missing, she gets herself a waitress job at the Pebble Lounge to track her down, working under London’s seedy underbelly to find the only person she has left in this world to love. And Anthony Bridgerton? No matter how alluring and distracting he may be, he’s just a means to an end, his life defined by his family business built on corruption.

Kate won’t dance to that tune. She’s just trying to find her sister.

Two in a row. A win for kathony/kanthony. Where the first one for the most part is cozy and light, this one is dark. Not surprising since this story, according to the author, was inspired by the 2022's The Batman, focusing on the electric dynamic between our favorite Bruce and Selina Kyle. Or rather in this AU, the dynamics between a dangerous mob boss and a woman going undercover as a waitress to figure out what happened to her sister.

It's got everything. Protective/possessive Anthony. Stubborn, witty Kate. Great sexual tension. Fair warning, there is an unplanned pregnancy so keep that in mind. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride

3). Intent to Cherish by iffervescent (kinn x porsche)

Summary: A mouthy beta runs off with Kinn's watch. He goes to get it back.

4 chapters this story is. 4 chapters of hilarious back and forth. 4 chapters of Porsche keeping that stubborn streak in tact with Kinn trying to chip his way through. 4 chapters we get to watch Porsche go from intriguing thief, to Kinn's employee, and finally intended.

This story checks off so many boxes. ABO AU, which is always a favorite. Sugar Baby and Sugar Daddy dynamic- never get tired of that. And of course Porsche being spoiled rotten. What more could you want?

4). burnt cotton series by taetaehland (taekook)

Summary: here's a series featuring your favorite bratty taehyung and his whipped husband, jeongguk (plus their adorable pups)

Once again, we got ABO and we so far have 11 stories of it featuring our favorite BTS as they grow more of their little family, grow more in love, and of course Tae growing more crafty and poor Kookie growing more insane. I love it.

Not to mention seeing all the ways Jungkook becomes more and more whipped for his husband is just the icing on the cake.

5). 'Tis a Far Better Thing by @the-sinking-ship (drarry)

Summary: 'Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people — or however the Muggle saying goes — because Potter is in need of professional help, and Draco is just the man to give it to him.

A Drarry Clueless AU.

Sometimes you come across two things, such as two fandoms that on the surface seem so far farfetched until one ambitious fic writer creates a story that combines elements of the two and creates a wonderful gem of a story. Which is exactly what happened here.

Draco Malfoy and Cher Horowitz are so much alike, it's not even funny. Thus enhancing my enjoyment for this story to outright love love loving.

Again, elements to a famous story that brings on the nostalgia and enjoyment while also being it's own fresh spin. Plus FASHION. Draco as a Fashion Designer with Harry being his newest client. Along with Draco massively simping- always a win in my book.

6). Tracklist by Mia_Moon (sukuita/sukuIta)

Summary: Singer Sukuna x Fanboy Yuuji

Where they do kinky stuff together first and then get to know each other later.

Sometimes you have that fandom with an OTP that's set and your loyal ride or ship. Then there are other fandoms, where you love most of the characters, see the chemistry between them, love the dynamics, and it's fair game for shipping season. Jujutsu Kaisen is one of those fandoms, and sukita/sukulta was one of those ships that I just ended up falling in love with it.

Listen. Listen. Listen. I know the synopsis just give smutty smutty good time, but you get that and MORE.

What more you say be asking? Well, for starter our dear boy Yuuji who gets spoiled rotten, pampered, and yes, also gets sexed up 7 ways to Sunday- featuring some of the hottest smut I've read so far might I add. Mia_Moon did their thing, and I definitely will be reading more of and more of their works.

I don't know why to explain it, but there's something about a celebrity AU, where we have one half of the ship be this famous celeb and the other being this outsider getting pulled into their world. I ate it up every single time.

7). I'm Only Going to Heaven (If it Feels Like Hell) by stereobone (eruri)

Summary: "Are you saying you want to be my sugar daddy?" Levi says.

This story, I kid you not, came at the best timing, especially as I still try to untangle my very tangled feelings regarding the final season of Attack of Titan. But one positive that came outta it was my ulitmate love for Levi Ackerman, along with rekindling my love for eruri.

Good to note, one of the quickest quickest ways for me to immediately read a fanfic is if I see the keywords: Sugar Daddy.

What can I say? It gets me everytime. And this one was no different. This story not only came to my radar at the perfect time, but it also was just so damn perfect. So damn good. And of course had me looking through whatever other eruri stories the writer had under their belt.

8). Minor Family Supremacy by @yoonmoonbii (vegaspete, kinnporsche,payurain, prapaisky)

Summary: Like Vegas, Venice Theerapanyakun was born into a dangerous world of crime and power plays. And unlike Vegas, he is well protected by his family who shelters the little boy and spoils him to the core. However, in a day like every other, Venice is kidnapped.

Oh dear lord, where do we begin with this one? Well, much as 2023 was a hot flaming mess, it also became the year of Love of the Air (my new comfort show) and Kinnporsche. For not only me but also for my dear friends @littlenightdragon & @kila09. And what does one do after getting into a new show/fandom? Find fanfics to satisfy the fangirl cravings.

Minor Family Supremacy, or as me and @littlenightdragon often like to call it, the Minor Family Saga was the fanfic for us. And deliver what we needed after finishing Kinnporsche and wanted more of Vegas, more of Pete, and see the other side of the Minor Family.

This one, massive massive props, praise, and all the kudos for @yoonmoonbii for putting this series together because wow. Series starts off with Payu aka Venice as a kid, best friends with his cousin Prapai, being protected by his loving parents until one day changes their dynamics forever- and further widen the gap between the two . But quickly as each story goes on, the two find themselves being more aware of their positions, the complicated histories of their families, and how to stay on course of their own lives without falling into the trappings of Korn's narcisstic chesse game.

It's that good. Each story is like a TV season to the vegaspete spin-off we were so badly owed and sadly weren't granted.

9). Haute Couture, Mon Amour by @goldentruth813 (sheith)

Summary: When a scruffy stranger walks into Mamora Designs, personal shopper Shiro decks him in finery instead of sending him away. Little does Shiro know there’s more to this man than meets the eye and while trying to give him a picture perfect moment he just might find his own instead.

When it comes to @goldentruth813, you can count on several things. Amazing sheith stories. Incredible moments that will make your heart swoon or flutter (depending on the rating). And of course for Shiro to be spoiled rotten and given more depth than the show did.

This one, one word: FASHION. Fashion, fashion, with a lot of a Cinderella-ish vibe, only slightly if you catch it.

Honorable mention:

Wishing on a Frat Boy

10). He's The Bride by @sashadistan (tododeku)

Summary: Fae Prince Shoto has been waiting his whole life to marry his betrothed. As it turns out, a few interesting details were lost in translation, but Shoto still thinks his bride is worth the wait.

Oh @sashadistan, how I adore thee. For the way you just drop these amazing stories for us peasants, feeding us with wonderful content one story at a time. I always love your stories whether it's sheith, tododeku, and more.

This one was no different. This story has everything I could want: Fae Shouto, possessive Shouto, body worship, Izuku being his stuttering and flustering mess, and arranged marriage.

If y'all told me 5 or so years ago, I'd get into arranged marriage, I would have been dumbfounded. Or wonder if you were trying to be funny. Now? I love it. Just goes to show that sometimes it takes a good writer to make something you don't like a win in your eyes.

And now for the Honorable Mentions that were insanely good but due to time & length, couldn't go into full depth:

Just Breathe by @icecream-suga (2 part series w/1st part focusing on yoonmin & the 2nd on taekook; gangsters, drugs, gunplay, OH MY. So goooooood)

Right at Home by cmere (firstprince, alex x henry; grad students in a non-royal AU, fake-dating, and hijinks)

Hair Ribbons and Silk Ties by writer_of_passion (tiana x nanami/tianami; loving husband goes bonkers seeing his wife's curls loose and it GOES DOWN, so so so good)

Bedroom Hymns by Writcraft (drarry; daddy kink w/dom & sub undertones, insanely HOTTT)

Like, Comment, and Romance by @xskyll (tododeku; Youtuber Deku, pro-Hero Shouto, mutual longing and pining wrapped in a insanely fun read)

And there you have it. As usual, thanks to the awesome fanfic writers who do what they do. Fanfics, literally, is the only thing keeping us sane. And please check out all these stories.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, GUYS

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imnariooo · 2 months

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⸝⸝ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ┆Nari’s navi

Min Nari (Hangul : 민 나리), is a fictional Chinese-Korean music artist, and is the only female member of co-ed group Stray Kids under JYP Entertainment. She debuted in March 25, 2018 with 'District 9'

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 LINKS !

abt the author | masterlist | disclaimers

feel free to chat or dm being moots (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)

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ultra-violet-heart · 5 months

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THE 2018 DENGEKI BUNKO INTERVIEW WITH 86--EIGHTY-SIX AUTHOR ASATO ASATO

Disclaimer: This translation is made by me for fandom purposes only. This interview, conducted in 2017, gives major insights on how the sci-fi mecha series 86--EIGHTY-SIX was conceived and written before it eventually won the Dengeki Novel Prize back in 2016.

Please ask my permission and credit me+this post if you will be re-translating this to other languages. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST ON YOUTUBE AND TIKTOK AND PLEASE DO NOT REPOST THE IMAGES ON THIS INTERVIEW. Please take the fan translations here with a grain of salt.

Credits to @Yashamise from Twitter for copies of this Dengeki Bunko Kono Light Novel ga Sugoi magazine.

Erratum: This interview was conducted and printed in 2017, but this Kono Light Novel ga Sugoi magazine is dated 2018 as an advance issue of sorts. This interview has been summarized here. My apologies for the title.

I’m posting my Ko-Fi here as currently, I’ve been having financial trouble regarding my medicine, so if anyone can donate, I would be much grateful for the help, thank you very much.

AN INTERVIEW WITH 86--EIGHTY-SIX AUTHOR ASATO ASATO

“I wrote what I liked, in the way I liked them,” this author says. This tale is filled with the grief from war, the ugliness of racial discrimination, as well as the romance of mechas and of garter belts! In this interview, she reveals to us everything about its roots and its appeal!

Text and Composition: My Street

Illustrator: Shirabii

Translator’s Note: For purposes of this interview translation, the interviewer will be labelled as “MS” for My Street, since they layouted and probably conducted this transcribed interview. Also, for words that have brackets or parenthesis:

{} = implied by context

() = given emphasis/given parenthesis in the interview itself

[] = included in the footnotes/translator’s notes

A robot lover as far as she could remember

MS: Thank you very much for your time today for this interview. It was surprising to learn that the author {for 86--EIGHTY-SIX}, Ms. Asato, is a woman.

ASATO: I get that a lot (haha). My family says the contents of my work is just “the usual {for Asato}” though. I think my Afterwords have the impression they’re written by a woman, and I never hid that in particular (haha).

MS: This year {2018}, 86--EIGHTY-SIX placed first in the New Works category and second in the bunkobon {paperback} category overall. How do you feel about this now?

ASATO: I’m very happy. I knew of KonoRano’s existence [1], so I was hoping {86--EIGHTY-SIX} might be listed there somewhere, but it was a surprise that it placed higher than expected. As I said in this interview’s foreword: “I wrote what I liked, in the way I liked them.” I’m thankful that many readers found it interesting.

MS: For readers who haven’t heard of 86--EIGHTY-SIX, can you give us a summary of this work?

ASATO: It’s a lively, filled-with-clanks story of the protagonist Shin, his merry band of thieves, and their remotely-working-class-president Lena. [2] (LOL)

MS: 86--EIGHTY-SIX is your debut work. Can you tell us about the time you started writing this work?

ASATO: I’ve been writing ever since I can remember, and I started with writing manga {scripts}. I switched to writing novels around before I started junior high school and have been writing them ever since.

MS: You’ve been interested in robots and military-related things ever since elementary school, is that right?

ASATO: Yes, that’s correct. My mother liked {Space Battleship} Yamato [3] and Gundam, and as I have a younger brother, I got into watching and reading anime and manga targeted at boys. I was rarely exposed to anime and manga targeted at girls. We had the Mobile Suit Gundam movie trilogy [4] at home (which I’ve seen many times), and I also watched The Brave Police J-Decker [5] and The Brave Express Might Gaine [6], as well as other shows in The Brave [7] series. The only anime I had watched that is {targeted at girls} is Magic Knight Rayearth [8], which is another story with robots fighting in it (haha).

MS: I reckon such an environment led you to writing 86--EIGHTY-SIX. Can you tell us about your writing process?

ASATO: I originally submitted {works} to the Kadokawa Beans [9] Bunko Newcomer Awards. I avoided the Dengeki Novel Prize as it was rather {too hard to enter} due to the large number of entries [10] there. The novel entry I made on the 21st year of the Dengeki Novel Prize (2014), however, was totally not aimed at women at all, so I didn’t have any other choice but to submit that to said contest, as it has the closest deadline. It was a sci-fi fantasy work, with a theme of redemption, set on a time before and after {a} revolution. At that time, I thought, maybe I can go past beyond the 3rd round of screenings and unexpectedly, maybe placed on a good spot? However, the evaluation I got from the judges were “This is a 100% a work targeted at girls” and “Next time, we hope you will submit a work that should be Dengeki Bunko-like”. As Dengeki Bunko [11] is an all-kinds-of-genre publication, I didn’t know what ‘Dengeki Bunko-like’ even meant. I thought about it a lot but couldn’t figure it out, so I just kept on writing and finished my next entry, which is 86--EIGHTY-SIX.

MS: How did you come up with the idea and structure of 86, a war drama where unmanned drones and “unmanned manned drones” battle each other?

ASATO: I once read a newspaper article whose main message was “It won’t be good if a country sends its citizens to war, but it shouldn’t be a problem if they made an army of foreigners fight in their stead.” In that case, I felt very afraid that other people will be forced to fight instead of us, with the idea of “those aren’t people, but drones” justifying this and everyone just allowing it {to happen}.

MS: As written in Volume 1’s Afterword, looking back at history, it. is true that racism and racial exclusion existed to no small extent. So, why did you decide to incorporate “racism” into your work?

ASATO: Ever since I started writing novels, I have repeatedly written about boundary lines between “human beings and those who are human but not treated as human beings”, with 86--EIGHTY-SIX being in a similar vein. One of the bases for this is probably the class discrimination found in Final Fantasy Tactics [12], for example. A character there, Argath, who is an aristocrat, tells a commoner character: “But the gods have no eyes for chattel! [12]” This line has stayed with me ever since. After that, I continued to write with the motifs of “human beings and livestock in human form” and “human and those considered not humans”. I think BLACK/MATRIX+ [13] influenced me as well. This game deals with ethnic discrimination, set in a world where black-winged people are ruled over by white-winged people. In there, those who were discriminated against were treated harshly. They were treated like livestock, with the game having this line of, “Why is a mere slave like you wearing clothes?”

MS: Do you often play games?

ASATO: When my gaming consoles weren’t connected yet to the Internet, I used to play a lot of RPGs. I’m not good at action games. I did play a lot of Final Fantasy, like Final Fantasy VI, Tactics, VIII, IX, and X [14].

MS: Are there other works which influenced you? I wonder if there’s something similar like the war situation in Knights of Sidonia [15], which was mentioned in Volume 1’s afterword.

ASATO: I often watch a lot of robot shows, Knights of Sidonia included. In addition to the Gundam series mentioned earlier, I also watched Full Metal Panic [16] and Gunparade March: A New Song for the March [17]. It’s not a robot series, but I also have read Battle Faery Yukikaze [18] over and over. I like {literary} structures where the protagonist side is overwhelmingly inferior while the antagonist side is the superior one. I want to see the flow of emotions from the characters more than the fight scenes themselves. I think emotions such as fear, resignation and desperation show more in situations where {characters} are hopelessly in a big disadvantage. Winning a battle by domination can be exhilarating, yes, but those other emotions don’t show as much during that. That’s why I prefer for the protagonists to win through unrefined and tenacious means, rather than them winning by outsmarting {enemies}.

The work’s influences from horror films and in-depth military research

MS: The Legion are getting more ominous, and the deteriorating situation for Shin and his group is putting them on a very big disadvantage, if I’m not mistaken.

ASATO: 86--EIGHTY-SIX has been influenced more by horror movies than robot anime, with it being based on movies such as The Mist [19] and Screamers [20]. Mist is a horror story where the protagonists get trapped in a supermarket due to a mysterious fog and monsters, and the people gradually lose their ability to make rational judgments as they are unable to defend themselves or escape, without any rescue in sight. This horror movie has a great ending, so I’m inviting you all to watch it without further spoilers. 86--EIGHTY-SIX was initially set as a novel about a fog of nanomachines covering the walls outside of the Republic, and the “Legion” being an aggregation of said nanomachines. However, that kind of thing couldn’t exactly be defeated by conventional weapons, so it was rejected at the setting phase. These elements from this setting, however, were retained in the form of Volume 1’s final boss character and the appearance of those electromagnetic jammers clouding the sun.

MS: It’s rather surprising this came from a horror setting.

ASATO: The other {inspiration mentioned earlier}, Screamers, is a sci-fi horror film where autonomous war weapons evolved on their own and went out of control. In 86--EIGHTY-SIX, the Self-Propelled Mines, which look like wounded soldiers, are based on Screamers. The work is rather interesting as one has no ideas who their enemies are and everything else looks suspicious.

MS: So you have a situation like this, and you applied what kind of emotions you want to be shown in that situation, correct?

ASATO: Yes. Looking back, I think I was strongly influenced by the novel Chaos Legion [21] {in this regard}. Shin’s Personal Mark, which has a shovel on it, was influenced by his special ability as well as his role being the “Undertaker” responsible for collecting the fragments of his comrade-in-arms’ {Feldreẞ} units.

MS: The more I hear about it, it seems this work is really packed full of things {you} like.

ASATO: While I was writing this, I played the Black Hawk Down [22] movie repeatedly instead of just background music. It’s also a favorite {movie} of mine.

MS: I would like to ask you about military-related matters. What kind of material did you use for your research?

ASATO: I borrowed all relevant materials I use from the library, so I don’t have any specific references… About racial discrimination, I read materials about Nazi Germany [23], the internment camps in US as well as the 442nd Infantry Regiment [24] and Scroll of Agony: The Warsaw Ghetto Diary [25]. As for the weapons, the Juggernaut and the Legion are based and patterned from tanks, so I’ve read materials dating back from World War II [26] as well as the Gulf War [26], where 120mm tanks were the main weapons used. The Juggernaut’s 57mm cannon wasn’t used very often, so I had a difficult time finding research material for it. The unit itself is based on the M551 Sheridan [27]. This airborne assault tank has aluminum alloy armor, but the Juggernaut reflects the pitiful aspect of said flimsy armor which explodes upon impact by any stray attack.

MS: Why did you make the Juggernaut and the Legion multi-legged tanks?

ASATO: Because it’s romantic! I love multi-legged tanks! My first exposure with them is the X-ATM092 [28], a spider-shaped mobile unit from FFVIII. The loud, resounding footsteps it produced as it chased you away was very scary, and it left this impression of being a symbol of a very powerful weapon. I also like Ghost in the Shell’s Tachikoma [29] and the Tobigumo from the Swallowtail novel series [30]. In reality, multi-legged tank units aren’t really fast enough, and there is too much ground pressure for those to actually carry a 120mm cannon… but I make up for it with my imagination (LOL)

A character that embodies the idea of “to be human” walks alone

MS: Concerning those people called “Eighty-Six”, what do you think it means “to be human”, which you tried to depict in Volume 1?

ASATO: What I tried to depict in this work is “to respect other human beings, and to live without regrets.” However, I don’t think everything I wrote in this main part is actually correct. I think this is the answer the “Eighty-Six” came up with due to the environment they lived in. In Volume 2, the stage now shifts to the Federacy, so the theme there is now what will happen if said environment has changed.

MS: In Volume 2, I see this as a story where the “Eighty-Six”, who managed to get safety for the time being, nevertheless still returned to the battlefield. I think this sentiment was portrayed very well.

ASATO: Volume 3 will focus on what happens inside {Shin’s head} after he made that choice, so please look forward to that. After all, they don’t feel safe even after coming to the Federal Republic of Giad. And the war against the Legion isn’t over yet. Since the Eighty-Six think they will not survive if they don’t fight, I think they will continue to fight until the Legion disappeared. Then… what will they do after the Legion are eventually gone? …They will certainly have to think about that in the future as well.

MS: Do you have a favorite among all the characters?

ASATO: It’s Raiden. Of course, I love the two protagonists, Shin and Lena, but Shin isn’t really a very cooperative character with me, so I have a certain attachment to Raiden, who provides much support. Instead of simply just crafting the plot, I write in a way that captures how each character would act in line with {the type of} world I've created. That’s why I do not know what the characters think, what goals they have, or what pasts they bear unless they “talk” to me. Shin is not the type {of character} to talk about anything in particular, and he doesn’t even say anything much except for his name. It wasn’t until I finished writing that climax of a battle in Volume 1 that I realized what he was fighting for. After I wrote it, I was like, “Huh?! So, this is it?!” and was surprised as the author (LOL).

MS: So, you didn’t think about Shin’s background at first?

ASATO: Yes, that’s right. During that climax, I finally understood {everything} concerning Shin, so I went back on that part and wrote the details that I then added.

MS: So even at the plotting stage, you haven’t put together the {setting and background} for each of the characters?

ASATO: To begin with, when I wrote Volume 1, I haven’t even made a plot. I didn’t even have a story structure in particular, and just wrote while letting the characters act. The first time I finished this volume, the last two pages were still missing, but Shin brought them to me, saying, “Sure enough, write up to this far.”

MS: What happened after Volume 2?

ASATO: I have submitted the plot… but stressed on the important scene that “I won’t know everything until I write it” then submitted it. As a result of this, only the boss character from Volume 3 remained in that plot I submitted. {I caused} my editors a lot of trouble.

MS: How did Frederica (the character) come to be?

ASATO: Frederica is a character with a part further on in the series, so I intended to debut her in Volume 2. As I was writing her, however, it seemed she and Shin have similarities on what they carry on their backs. Since then, she acts as a mirror to Shin. As Shin is a character who is not very good at grasping his own emotions, {I had Frederica} serve as the one who verbalizes those emotions. I wondered then, what does it mean to have a 10-year-old verbalize {another person’s feelings}? (LOL) I simply wanted to show a little girl. In Volume 2, the heroine, Lena, is absent, but I can’t have another girl the same age as her as this volume’s heroine… and so, under this pretext, I brought out {Frederica as} the little girl heroine.

MS: For some reason, I thought there’s other many works featuring little girls in the battlefield.

ASATO: If this were about a real battlefield, it would have been filled with old men. I like older men soldier characters, so that would have been fun to see, but I don’t think readers would find that interesting. Cute little girls adding a touch of color {to a work} is important (LOL).

MS: Did you decide on the setting from the start?

ASATO: The setting was generally decided from the beginning. The scenes were written out as needed. For example, regarding the battlefield, the Legion are ground-based weapons, and it would be troubling if they’re easily eradicated by aircraft weapons. That’s why {I had} the Eintagsfliege, a Legion unit which has jamming, and restricted the use of aircraft and communication devices. This, however, would have prevented Shin and Lena from communicating with each other, so I then devised the special communication device called the Para-RAID.

MS: How deeply did you think about this world’s setting on itself?

ASATO: The necessary scenes have been chosen in detail, otherwise, the rest of the details aren’t fixed. For example, it’s not in the main story, but the Republic’s population has already been decided upon. It’s the reverse with the countries on the edge of the continent that aren’t scheduled to appear, as they might have a Chinese-like culture… that’s all I thought of it right now. There’s also this “sensory tuning”, which hasn’t been written in the setting yet, but is scheduled to be involved in the future part of the plot. However, as I said just a short while ago, the story {as a whole} is influenced greatly by how the characters act, so it depends on them to make the best use of the setting. From this point on, who will survive and who will die… is something that I still don’t know.

MS: Is it still unknown how the war against the Legion will move forward?

ASATO: The basic points {for that} have been decided, with the foreshadowing being built onto step by step. However, it is up to those two, Shin and Lena, if they will follow suit. (LOL)

MS: What about the Legion, then?

ASATO: About the Legion, the setting about them has been solidly established, including the future boss characters. However, I can’t say anything about them yet. Details about them have been foreshadowed little by little. I write hoping the readers will be surprised by this later.

The love for garter belts explodes! A talk about eroticism

MS: Changing the subject, what it is about your particular fixation towards garter belts [31] and pilot suits [32], both of which you spoke so passionately about in your Afterwords?

ASATO: About the pilot suits, on the outline for volume 2, I wrote "I don’t want men’s pilot suits paired with ground-based armaments!!!" using half of the A4 outline paper and submitted that (LOL). I’ve wondered whether pilot suits are really necessary, apart from space or aircraft or even ground battles. I’ve my doubts about it, and with said doubts I don’t want {characters} just wearing pilot suits, even in a robot thing. I do agree with the editor-in-charge about “Female pilot suits are justice!” so Lena wearing a pilot suit is scheduled to appear in the future [32]. After all, the garter belt shows a good place between sexy and cute. I think the eroticism {from the garter belt} dwells in its self-contradictory element: it’s just one additional item {in a set of clothes}, and somehow manages to show more skin―I think that’s the charm of the garter belt. In particular, if the color {of the garter belt} contrasts strongly with the skin color {of the wearer}, the impression of bare skin is more emphasized in spite of the wearer. Because of this, I think it’s wonderful that Shirabii colored the belt part {of Lena’s garter belts} black.

MS: It’s amazing the garter belt drawn by Shirabii has the functions of both a belt and a ring, isn’t it?

ASATO: Furthermore, Lena’s military uniform, a garment that is very much seen in public, has garter belts, which are usually private items, and I think that adds further to her ambivalent charm even more. As a matter of fact, at first, I argued that it would be better if {her} thighs were not visible all the time but could be glimpsed at occasionally, but after a 2 AM discussion with the editors-in-charge while looking at the rough draft of the cover art, they convinced me that “That ‘occasionally’ should be now!”, and we settled on its current form. The ideal situation {we have} was when {Lena} lifts her legs up and a glimpse of the black lace garter can be seen through the slit of {her} dress. However, as Lena is a prim and proper lady, the only situation I can think of where she lifts her legs while wearing a dress is when she is about to wear heels… I’ll have to ask Shin to do his best on this one.

MS: Rather a difficult situation, isn’t it?

ASATO: It’s Shin, after all. Also, a military uniform with pretty boy shorts + sock garters is also cute, and as Theo hasn’t appeared with his military uniform yet, I’m thinking to add that to his outfit now… (LOL). However, middle-aged soldier uncles shouldn’t show their bare legs with shirt garters! (Editor’s note: Please Google “shirt garters” for more info)

MS: Are there any {role/inspiring} models for your characters?

ASATO: Basically, none. However, as mentioned earlier, Shin is partly inspired by Sieg Wahrheit [33] from Chaos Legion, while Lena is partly inspired by General Garrison [34] from Black Hawk Down. In the film, {Garrison} is placed on a situation where he could do nothing but only communicate with his subordinates in adverse circumstances, and this inspired Lena’s position {in the series}. In Black Hawk Down, many characters died before we even understood them, and I think that influenced 86--EIGHTY-SIX as well.

MS: That’s right. They die when the chapters change. When you are writing, you’re writing without knowing who is going to die, isn’t it?

ASATO: There are some characters whose manner of death came to mind as I was writing them. I think they’re good kids, but I have no choice but to let them face their fates (oops).

MS: If the names of the Eighty-Six characters were names of Japanese people, would they still make good names?

ASATO: Yes. All their names can be written in kanji. For example, Shin’s surname, “Nouzen” is from the kanji of the Chinese trumpet creeper (凌霄花) {pronounced as “nouzenkazura”} [35]. I actually like the arrangement of the kanji {from that plant} within the kanji for “surpassing the sky” (霄を凌ぐ) {pronounced as “sora wo shinogu”}. If you use the same kanji and put the honorific (君) {pronounced as “kun”} on it, you can form the characters for the Eurasian goshawk (凌霄君) {pronounced as “ryoshoukun”} [36]. This is also a reference to Shin’s image, as he does resemble a hawk.

What’s next for this series? There’s so much more to write about!

MS: What will happen in Volume 3 of 86--EIGHTY-SIX? [37]

ASATO: It will be properly connected to Volume 1’s Epilogues, so please don’t worry about that. The battle scenes, which were limited in Volume 2, will be much increased here. It might be even tragic.

EDITOR KIYOSE: This paperback series will, of course, continue to be serialized, and the series will also be expanded into various adaptations such as comics [38] and other various media. This work will have a lot of side stories, so we hope you will all appreciate this series as a whole.

MS: Can you please tell us about the future developments of 86--EIGHTY-SIX?

ASATO: The stage has shifted to the Federacy from Volume 2, and as the war situation gets more violent, the environment surrounding the Eighty-Six and the others is about to deteriorate further. There will be new enemies for mankind to face, and their own numerous personal conflicts standing on their way one by one. However, they have survived far difficult circumstances up until now, and since Lena will join them in earnest by Volume 4, I think they will still survive, stubbornly, shamelessly, and boisterously. However, I really wouldn’t know what would happen unless I write them. (LOL)

MS: How many volumes does this series will have?

ASATO: Currently, I'm thinking of around 13 volumes. The war against the Legion has a general flow and an ending in sight already, so I'd like to get to that point first. In addition to that, I’d like to like to write a side story about Raiden and Shin when they just first met, if I have the opportunity [39]. There’s so much more I want to write about. From Volume 4 onward, countries other than the Federacy will be related, and there’s plans to stretch out the stage even more. The Queen's Knights [40], led by Lena, will also make their appearance. I think there might be some slight surprises about Shiden, who first appeared in Volume 2.

MS: Lastly, any message for the readers who have supported you and the series?

ASATO: I was never active on the web at all, and I was totally an unknown newcomer writer. I believe the reason why I and the 86--EIGHTY-SIX series have come this far is due to the readers who picked up the books and supported us. So, everyone, I will do my best to write bringing Shin and Lena and the Eighty-Six’s battle to conclusion, so from this point on, I look forward to your continued support!

{End of Interview}

Translator’s Notes (Most of the blurbs here are taken from respective relevant Wikipedia articles, and the notes also include the Magazine Notes from the actual interview):

[1] Kono Light Novel Ga Sugoi: Kono Light Novel ga Sugoi! (このライトノベルがすごい!, lit. This Light Novel is Amazing!) is an annual light novel guidebook published by Takarajimasha. The guidebook publishes a list of the top ten most popular light novels according to readers polled on the Internet and votes from critics, influencers, and other people related to the light novel industry. 86--EIGHTY-SIX ranked 2nd and 5th in the bunkobon category here in 2018 and 2019.

[2] Lena is the class president of Class 2-E in the 86--EIGHTY-SIX Operation High School spin-off side stories and the manga. This is probably among the first references to said spin-off.

[3] Space Battleship Yamato: one of Japan’s most influential sci-fi/mecha series, a Japanese science fiction anime series produced and written by Yoshinobu Nishizaki, directed by manga artist Leiji Matsumoto, and produced by Academy Productions.

[4] Mobile Suit Gundam: The first series in this very popular Japanese military science fiction media franchise, it was re-released into a film trilogy in 1981.

[5] The Brave Police J-Decker: The fifth installment in the Barve series.

[6] The Brave Express Might Gaine: The fourth installment in the Brave series.

[7] The Brave mecha and sci-fi series: a Japanese toy and anime franchise Brave series made by Takara and Sunrise, and currently owned by Bandai Namco.

[8] Magic Knight Rayearth: a mecha, fantasy and isekai shoujo manga series made by the all-female manga artist group CLAMP.

[9] Kadokawa BEANS Bunko Award: The contest launched by Kadokawa’s female-focused light novel imprint, Kadokawa Beans Bunko.

[10] Dengeki Novel Prize: a literary award handed out annually (since 1994) by the Japanese publisher ASCII Media Works for their Dengeki Bunko light novel imprint, spearheaded by parent company Kadokawa. It is among Japan’s largest light novel contests, with more than 4500 entries submitted annually. 86--EIGHTY-SIX won 1st place in the Rookie Awards category in 2016, launching it to the spotlight.

[11] Dengeki Bunko: a publishing imprint affiliated with Kadokawa’s ASCII Media Works. Many anime adaptations from light novels were published by Dengeki Bunko, including 86--EIGHTY-SIX.

[12] [Magazine Note 1] Final Fantasy Tactics: A tactical simulation RPG released in 1997. The socially conscious storyline, which tackled friction between nations and the gap between the rich and the poor, became very much a hot topic during its time.

Please take note I used the Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions translation here as contextually I believe this translation has more in line with EIGHTY-SIX than the translation of the actual game Asato played, which is the original Final Fantasy Tactics. Also, Argath vs Algus :3

[13] [Magazine Note 2] BLACK/MATRIX+: A tactical simulation RPG for Sega Saturn, with the PlayStation port released in 1998. It has a unique setting where virtue and vice are said to be reversed.

[14] Final Fantasy: a fantasy anthology media franchise, first and mainly developed as RPGs, owned, published, and distributed by Square Enix. Currently this franchise has 16 main series game releases. One of these games, Final Fantasy VIII, has its main soundtrack (“Eyes on Me” by Faye Wong) featured on the Afterword of 86--EIGHTY-SIX Volume 7: Mist.

[15] Knights of Sidonia: A sci-fi/mecha seinen manga, made by Tsutomu Nihei and ran from 2009-2015 in Kodansha’s Monthly Afternoon magazine. Its anime adaptation, which ran for two seasons, was produced by Polygon Pictures and aired from 2014 to 2015.

[16] Full Metal Panic!: a series of mecha light novels written by Shoji Gatoh and illustrated by Shiki Douji, published by Kadokawa’s Fujimi Fantasia Bunko and ran from 1998-2011. Its anime adaptations were produced by Gonzo, Kyoto Animation and Xebec respectively, from 2003 to 2018.

[17] Gunparade March: A New Song for the March: The anime adaptation for the Playstation video game Gunparade March, produced by J.C. Staff and aired in 2003.

[18] Battle Faery Yukikaze: a Japanese military science fiction novel series written by Chouhei Kambayashi. Its five-episode OVA adaptation ran from 2002-2005.

[19] [Magazine Note 3] Mist: A 2007 film based on the award-winning science fiction horror novella by Stephen King.

[20] [Magazine Note 4] Screamers: A 1995 futuristic science fiction horror film, based on Phillip K. Dick’s novelette “Second Variety”.

[21] [Magazine Note 5] Chaos Legion: A mixed-media action RPG released in 2003, getting a novelization by Tow Ubukata.

[22] [Magazine Note 6] Black Hawk Down: A 2001 war movie. Based on a non-fiction work about an actual urban war between international forces and guerillas that occurred in Somalia. The film depicts how a UH-60 Black Hawk gets taken down and this being dragged into a war situation.

[23] This is a very extensive subject, so please feel free to check out Nazi Germany on Wikipedia to get at least an overview.

[24] Another extensive subject, so feel free to check out 442nd Infantry Regiment on Wikipedia to get an overview.

[25] [Magazine Note 7] Scroll of Agony: The Warsaw Ghetto Diary: A diary kept by a Jewish teacher, {Chaim A. Kaplan}. It described the persecution and pillaging by the Nazis, as well as the three harsh years of {Kaplan’s} life.

Printed in Japan as (ワルシャワ・ゲットー日記―ユダヤ人教師の記録 or “Warsaw Ghetto Diary: A Jewish Teacher’s Record”), with Kaplan implied to have died in 1942 when he was sent to the Treblinka death camp along with other Warsaw Jews.

[26] Another extensive subject, so feel free to check out World War II on Wikipedia to get an overview. Feel free to also check out Gulf War on Wikipedia to get an overview on this topic.

[27] [Magazine Note 8] M551 Sheridan: an American tank developed to be amphibious, airborne tank. Its body was made of aluminum alloy to help reduce weight, but this made it vulnerable to anti-tank weapons and land mines, and it could explode when the shells it’s equipped with are triggered.

[28] X-ATM092: A spider-like robot boss enemy found in Final Fantasy VIII.

[29] Tachikoma: a blue-colored AI walker/roller tank that looks like a spider in the Ghost in the Shell cyberpunk media franchise.

[30] Swallowtail series: The sci-fi novel series written by Chitose Touma and published by Dengeki Bunko in 2008. The series is about artificial fairies, androids created in the form of humans, to be companions to still-living humans after parts of Tokyo’s population were wiped out in a pandemic, and one of these fairies, Ageha, is investigating a serial killer causing destruction. The work also has this multi-legged armored tank called “Tobigumo”. So far as I know this mecha doesn’t have official art, however, a fanart can be found in Pixiv here.

[31] [Magazine Note 9] Garter: They’re suspenders of sorts. “Garter belt” is the term for {a fabric strap which} which is clipped on over-the-knee socks or stockings. Having no shorts above garters is righteous! between the rich and the poor, became very much a hot topic during its time.

Asato’s interest in garter belts is not only shown in the novels, but also in the anime, which is noted to have a lot of thigh shots of Lena wearing said garter belts.

[32] [Magazine Note 10] Pilot suit: In this case, this is the type of suit that sticks really close to the body. As it shows the body lines quite clearly, it’s considered quite fetishistic.

In the current time, 86--EIGHTY-SIX Volume 5: Death, Be Not Proud, has already been published, and Lena did wear the Cicada, which is Asato’s homage to pilot suits.

[33] Sieg Wahrheit: the protagonist of Chaos Legion.

[34] William F. Garrison: a retired major general of the United States Army who commanded United States forces during Operation Gothic Serpent including the Battle of Mogadishu, which served as an inspiration for the novel Black Hawk Down.

[35] The Chinese trumpet creeper, a native flowering vine species found in East Asia, usually in China, can mean “fame”, “honor”, “glory”, “abundant love” and “life filled with flowers” in the flower language.

[36] Eurasian goshawk: a medium-large bird-of-prey found in Europe and Asia and is among the species considered as “true” hawks. The kanji used in the article actually just refers to how Shinei Nouzen looks like a hawk, but upon further examination of said kanji in this reference, it pertained to that goshawk as well.

[37] Volume 3 of 86--EIGHTY-SIX was just about to be released in Japan around the moment this article was published, serving as a promotion of sorts.

[38] Several manga adaptations of 86--EIGHTY-SIX have been published as of current time. For more information, please check out this 86 Reddit Manga FAQ for further details.

[39] Besides Volume 1, Eighty-Six’s Interlude: Headless Knight II, Asato has managed to write this in the side stories Volume 10, Fragmental Neoteny Chapter 8: The Banks of Lethe and Alter.1: Claymore Squadron.

[40] The Queen’s Knights, formally known as the Brísingamen Squadron, was the squadron Lena became the Handler with after the Spearhead Squadron was sent on the Special Reconnaissance Mission. It was led by Shiden Iida and was pivotal in the Republic of San Magnolia’s defense during the 1st Legion Large Scale Offensive.

#86 eighty six #86 #エイティシックス #86 ーエイティシックスー #86 エイティシックス #86 anime #asato asato #dengeki bunko #86 light novel #86--EIGHTY-SIX #eighty six #vladilena milizé #shinei nouzen #安里アサト

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transhawks · 5 months

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I have to agree. I will argue that cwac is well written but it's essentially just different characters with a bnha coat of paint, it was written so many years ago where it could've technically been a direction taken but canon has deviated so far from it no longer resembles anything close to it. The problem begins when some take it as a canon interpretation when it was not leading to infighting and misreading of canon events and character, although this is no fault of the author who I believe is still very talented.

When I first got into the fandom circa 2018, right before Hawks debuted, I was super obsessed with Deku and so CWAC was up my alley. But the moment I started paying attention to the villains, somehow it clearly dawned on me how not only OOC the story was but just how much the author clearly dislikes characters like Shigaraki or Dabi and how much it shows, fairly juvenile-y.

I won't argue that the author isn't talented, but over the years a friend who was also a very Big Writer at the time of CWAC's popularity 2018-ish has told me how discussions about the League went very badly.

The issue still is the fandom. I absolutely blame DFO on CWAC and the other work of the author that the name escapes me. Even now, when I look at DFO dynamics or the weird afo inko obsession they absolutely clearly have elements from the fic, so essentially what CWAC did was establish such a clear fanon that even non-fic readers have taken it as part of the theory.

I mean, again this is more the issue of the fandom in general just clinging on to very old perceptions of characters and plots. I'm going to rant about that below.

I'll use Tomura as an example because what made me dislike CWAC was the handling of him when I started to realize just how rich Horikoshi made Tomura 's character. Some shig-haters never get passed Kamino in what they think of him, and there are the LOV stans who haven't caught up with the idea that actually the MLA arc was *bad* for the League and are still in the viewpoint that the villains are revolutionaries. So there's these spaces where Shigaraki is just seen as a murderous incel versus Shigaraki is Che Guevara incarnate.

And these echo chambers are so removed from each other that very often little nuance penetrates, so you have incredibly established fanon truths that are rarely deviated from and people just stop examining the source material. Then conflict arises when you leave the echo chamber and talk to someone else.

Also worth mentioning is that the fandom echo chambers manage to function as they do by assigning moral values to any "thought crimes" that don't line up with accepted fanon-"canon". Don't think the League are super-radicals who will actually liberate society and create a Marxist utopia? Well you're a capitalist pig who supports cops, bye. You can see it with the very hardcore hero stans who think liking a villain means condoning murder too, "why do you like terrorists?" Or come into my inbox to tell me Jin's murder was justified. Fandom is very good at policing itself into cliques, to the detriment of everyone, I think.

It also, I think, created the situation where people in this fandom genuinely hate the work, keep reading it in bad faith due to those ingrained fanon expectations and preconceptions of what the work should be, and then get more and more resentful as time goes on and their views are not even acknowledged.

Seriously, just look back at the reaction of hero stan Twitter and reddit bros at Himiko's whole fight with Ochako. There was so much hatred of how Himiko was being redeemed.

There are still canon DFO fans. I feel sorry for those who had to look at this chapter and realize that what they've sunk so much time into was not real. Disappointment hurts, man.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me rant. I find it fascinating in an academic sense how so much of fandom was shaped by a fic and I wonder if at some point someone will examine it critically.

#Bnha salt #bnha critical #Asks #fandom criticism

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gone2soon-rip · 1 year

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TINA TURNER (1939-Died May 24th 2023,at 83).American-born and naturalized Swiss singer, dancer, actress and author. Widely referred to as the "Queen of Rock 'n' Roll", she rose to prominence as the lead singer of the Ike & Tina Turner Revue before launching a successful career as a solo performer.Turner began her career with Ike Turner's Kings of Rhythm in 1957. Under the name Little Ann, she appeared on her first record, "Boxtop", in 1958. In 1960, she debuted as Tina Turner with the hit duet single "A Fool in Love". The duo Ike & Tina Turner became "one of the most formidable live acts in history".They released hits such as "It's Gonna Work Out Fine", "River Deep – Mountain High", "Proud Mary", and "Nutbush City Limits" before disbanding in 1976.In the 1980s, Turner launched "one of the greatest comebacks in music history".Her 1984 multi-platinum album Private Dancer contained the hit song "What's Love Got to Do with It", which won the Grammy Award for Record of the Year and became her first and only number one song on the Billboard Hot 100. At age 44, she was the oldest female solo artist to top the Hot 100.Her chart success continued with "Better Be Good to Me", "Private Dancer", "We Don't Need Another Hero (Thunderdome)", "Typical Male", "The Best", "I Don't Wanna Fight", and "GoldenEye". During her Break Every Rule World Tour in 1988, she set a then-Guinness World Record for the largest paying audience (180,000) for a solo performer.Turner also acted in the films Tommy (1975), Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985), and Last Action Hero (1993). In 1993, What's Love Got to Do with It, a biographical film adapted from her autobiography I, Tina: My Life Story, was released. In 2009, Turner retired after completing her Tina!: 50th Anniversary Tour, which is the 15th highest-grossing tour of the 2000s. In 2018, she became the subject of the jukebox musical Tina.Having sold over 100 million records worldwide, Turner is one of the best-selling recording artists of all time. She has received 12 Grammy Awards, which include eight competitive awards, three Grammy Hall of Fame awards, and a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award. She is the first black artist and first woman to be on the cover of Rolling Stone. Rolling Stone ranked her among the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time and the 100 Greatest Singers of All Time.Turner has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and the St. Louis Walk of Fame. She has twice been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, with Ike Turner in 1991 and as a solo artist in 2021.She is also a 2005 recipient of the Kennedy Center Honors and Women of the Year award.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tina_Turner

#Tina Turner #American Musicians #Musicians #Music Legends #Notable Deaths in 2023 #Notable Deaths in May 2023 #What's Love Got To Do With It #We Don't Need Another Hero #Ike & Tina Turner

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the-one-who-isnt-an-anon · 4 months

Text

comic timeline

All non-holiday dates are approximate but should be accurate relative to each other. Using past tense for events before the comic, present tense for Day 1 and beyond. I'm not inferring anything that isn't explicitly supported in canon even if the events seem obviously linked.

Last updated 2/13/2024.

Referenced events from before the comic, undated. Sorted by main topic:

Showfall productions:

Riptide from JRWI was produced but canceled early.

Bizly played Florida Man in the original 100 days film. Tommy played Patient Zero on contract.

Slime Demon had an ad-libbed baking show. Niki's character debut was written out and show was canceled in the middle of filming only a few episodes in, supposedly due to lack of viewership.

Sneeg had an 8-episode-run detective show.

Personnel:

Hetch fired 5 people over the years, including Criken.

In pretty quick succession, 1) Frank was hired, 2) Jerma left, 3) then Charlie was hired.

Frank and Charlie are the non-founding members who have worked at Showfall the longest without breaks.

Showfall fired Charlie's stunt double without notice.

Criken worked alongside Sneeg and others. He was fired 1 month in.

Before the tapes, employees were still leaving or planning to leave.

Hetch:

Hetch had at least one parent who treated him poorly (implied to be due to the parent's trauma from serving in the Vietnam War)

Hetch previously wanted Ranboo involved in Showfall.

Hetch got his jacket as a birthday present.

Hetch stopped filling Ranboo in on Showfall's production details.

The Founder used to be Hetch's best friend until she said something inappropriate to Hetch about Kate (Hetch's former girlfriend, implied to happen around or after Kate's death)

Charlie:

When Charlie was 20, he posted homework from a college film course on Youtube. He was approached by Showfall to do the original 100 Days film.

Charlie got a day off on his birthday. once.

Charlie and Hetch used to get along, but Hetch treated Charlie coldly.

Ranboo:

Ranboo used to want to be an author until a dumb thing happened at school.

Ranboo "did" something which the cyberbully told all their (former) friends about.

Other characters:

Wilbur and Niki used to stream before she was hired by Showfall

Mark and Ethan were popular let's players who were going to start a collab channel (Unus Annus).

Mark Iplier went to Chuck-E-Cheese many times.

2007-ish (when Ranboo was 4):

Hetch taught rats to "talk" by coding a program with pre-programmed phrases and a standard computer keyboard.

Ranboo had nightmares that Skitters the rat was experimenting on them.

2010-ish (11 years before early 2021):

Showfall had a Youtube channel for shows/movies before later creating their own website. Original team consisted of Hetch, Founder, (implied) Jerma.

Doll House (Showfall's first production).

April 3, 2013:

Showfall was officially founded. (Presumably the Youtube channel predates this and this date refers to the website - if not, the above events move down here.)

A couple years before comic start:

Hetch used to be a better director to Charlie.

2 years before comic start (2018):

Vinny was hired at Showfall.

A year before comic start (2019):

Ranboo bought a varsity jacket at Homecoming (presumably 10th grade).

A couple months before comic start (Fall 2020):

Ranboo's mom died ("earlier in 2020," implied autumn).

Ranboo's 2020 birthday, they couldn't leave their bed (also only implied autumn or winter).

Hetch became an asshole.

Showfall sold its building and moved to the mall.

Ranboo liked to hang out in the woods and pretend they were being chased by a serial killer.

Ranboo found the tapes. (implied)

Dec 14, 2020:

Charlie's first interview.

Dec 15, 2020:

Sneeg's first interview.

Showfall has only 5 current shows. 1 of them is the 100 days TV remake.

Charlie meets Ranboo.

Ethan fights geese.

Twitter blows up about Hetch's misgendering of Ranboo.

Founder threatens Hetch into hiring Ranboo for a 1-year contract.

Dec 16, 2020:

Ranboo has his first interview.

A light almost falls on Vinny.

Ranboo meets Niki.

Midnight meeting between Hetch and the Founder in order to further threaten Ranboo.

Dec 31, 2020, NYE:

The crew plans a strike.

Last day/s of refilming the 100 days pilot with Ranboo written in. 14-hour work days.

Cast party was moved up to be a New Year's Eve party.

A light almost falls on Vinny.

Rebrand is announced.

Hetch warns Ranboo not to get attached to the actors.

Frank is mentioned.

Jan 1?, 2021:

Ranboo runs off set of 100 days in tears.

1 month hiatus begins.

Some point in January 2021:

Vinny breaks his arm due to a falling item.

5 new actors are being hired. Hetch was not consulted due to being busy with editing.

New projects greenlit: 2nd season of 100 days, soap opera, a game show for Austin, slime demon baking show reboot.

(possibly later into February) Frank is promoted to head of HR.

Jan 31?, 2021:

Ranboo passes out 3 times in one day, attributed to low blood sugar.

Feb 1?, 2021:

1 month hiatus ends.

100 days tv show was popular.

New Showfall streaming service and VIP pass.

100 days is filmed at a rate of 1 episode per week (at least?), filmed in a single day. The first season is wrapping up.

5 new actors are hired.

Feb 2?, 2021:

First day of work for Wilbur Soot (approached Showfall), Mark Iplier (1 year contract), and Valkyrae (was approached by Showfall).

We meet Frank.

Austin is rehearsing for a game show.

Sneeg and Vinny are forbidden from greeting the new actors.

Valkyrae works as an assistant on Austin's game shows (implied/offscreen).

Feb 3?, 2021:

Mark and Ethan get Unus Annus greenlit.

Vinny writes a song with Wilbur and Niki.

Cameron, Mike, and Ashley's names are shared with the audience.

Cameron is masked.

Hetch gets drunk after work.

Sneeg drives Ranboo home - they talk about true crime.

Feb 4?, 2021:

Frank gives Cameron the rest of the day off due to weird behavior.

Hetch greenlights "Untitled: The Musical" for Vinny/Wilbur/Niki.

Ranboo wants to stay at Showfall for the rest of their life.

Feb 5?, 2021:

Hetch plans Unus Annus filming to start in a month.

Hetch confronts the Founder about the secrets she's keeping and is told to take the day off.

Ask the Actors: Lightning Round before another month break.

Hetch almost tells Sykkuno to suck it as Sykkuno's first on-screen appearance.

Unus Annus has its first 8 episodes written at this point.

Ethan recently splurged on a new plant for his fish.

Ranboo has another on-set outburst while trying to defend his dad.

Jerma is revealed.

Niki? is invited to coffee dates with Charlie and Sneeg.

1 month hiatus begins.

Feb 6? - March 4?, 2021:

Charlie starts a prank war with Jerma.

Twitter teasers for the convention in Lostfield town square.

Ranboo remakes their twitter account

March 5?, 2021:

1 month hiatus ends.

Ranboo sees Charlie and Sneeg at the coffee shop.

Lostfield town square convention. Unus Annus's first 2 episodes and a teaser for "Your New Boyfriend: A Musical Obsession" are released.

March 6?, 2021:

Ranboo is up in the wee hours of the morning getting cyberbullied by a classmate.

Fan meetups.

Ranboo feels anxious from cyberbullying and lost sleep. They stick by Charlie at the audience's suggestion.

Founder confronts audience on their "roleplay."

Charlie and Hetch fight over who deserves Ranboo's trust more.

Charlie and Hetch are arrested. Founder bails them out with 1/4 of the Unus Annus budget.

Charlie sees a drone, yet unnamed.

The Box.

March 7?, 2021:

Ranboo greets Hetch at home after Hetch has been gone for 24+ hours.

March 8?, 2021:

Hetch leaves Ranboo at home and returns to Showfall.

March 9?, 2021 (2 days after Hetch survived the Box):

Charlie interviews other workers (Sneeg is the only one onscreen) about working conditions to bring about the "death of Showfall Media" - to spend his last months at Showfall getting as much evidence of worker abuse as possible. The terms he uses imply a legal case.

Hetch meets the askers with less of a filter.

Ranboo is left behind at home again.

The crew's behavior has become stranger lately and they rarely interact with cast.

Cameron appears with a mask and without, seeming his normal cheerful self.

Frank organizes an HR meeting with all Showfall employees except Ranboo and Founder. They discuss working conditions, the missing funds (allocated to death traps), and Hetch's behavior. Hetch apologizes.

Frank makes plans to "fix the Founder's issues" via HR

Hetch confiscates Ashley's iPad and uses it to contact the askers that night.

Hetch reveals that the mind control "wasn't supposed to get this bad" and was just to make employees stay at Showfall and follow directions on set.

Hetch agrees to work with the other employees to get them out of Showfall.

Hetch is told about Ranboo's cyberbully.

March 10?, 2021:

Hetch comes up with the "Sorry" pilot, an improv-based show made as an apology to Showfall cast.

Hetch uses the iPad and two spare earpieces to make a non-censored audio-based method of communicating with askers. Hetch later gives the iPad back to Ashley, but it is broken.

Ranboo confronts both Charlie and Hetch on the fight at the coffee shop.

Hetch gives Charlie one of the earpieces. Charlie doesn't believe the askers' uncensored warnings.

Half of the crew is out sick, which Charlie attributes to COVID.

Ranboo locks themself in a storage closet while their cyberbully messages them.

Hetch lends his own earpiece to Ranboo. The askers convince them to leave the closet. Ranboo apologizes to Charlie.

The Founder is aware of the situation and frustrated. She has created a black mask with red circuitry, apparently Hetch's mask from TSE, to "get him back soon."

Later in the day, filming for Sorry begins.

Hetch is reminded of the vote, confusing Charlie and inspiring Ranboo and Charlie to cheer him up with a "try not to laugh challenge." Hetch agrees for the sake of winning Charlie's trust. Ranboo seems to recover from earlier.

The Founder encourages Jerma to invite Hetch out to drinks as a distraction. Jerma and Hetch argue but end the night getting along.

Charlie explores the mall overnight for proof for his ongoing battle against Showfall, ignoring warnings from the askers; Sneeg waits in the car and notices someone enter the building.

Ranboo meets up with their stalker in the mall and pushes them during an altercation. A light falls on the stalker, killing them. The Founder and Charlie both witness this.

The Founder offers to hide the body in exchange for Charlie's silence and Hetch's cooperation regarding the earpieces. Charlie argues with the Founder and, with Sneeg, takes Ranboo home.

Something prevents everyone from contacting the police.

Ranboo explains what happened before going to bed.

Hetch warns Charlie and Sneeg about Showfall's future plans.

March through May, 2021

Ranboo continues to rise in popularity at Showfall. They start keeping a journal and socially withdraw.

The police have still been unable to be reached.

Sneeg, Charlie, and Ranboo are given extra work by the Founder.

The Founder makes Hetch watch her experiments.

Hetch buys a gun for himself and a pocket knife for Ranboo.

Hetch makes financial preparations for himself and Ranboo to flee Lostfield along with Sneeg and Charlie.

May 10?, 2021

After a 2-month gap where he tried and failed to contact the askers, Hetch manages to get through.

Hetch plans for him/Ranboo/Sneeg/Charlie to leave town at dark, asking the viewers to watch Showfall from now on on his behalf.

#timeline

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intoloopin · 1 month

Text

A CHAPTER: THE SHARP AND THE BLUNT (PART 1/2).

tw(s): panic attack. dubious consent (haruki is very weird and forward about initiating sex!). alcohol abuse & alcoholism. semi-smut? (there is making out). miscommunication (a warning because I personally think it's constant and frustrating). insinuation and direct discussions of sexual trauma, abuse by a past partner, abuse of workplace power and stalking. internalized homophobia (in part one, a hint). If I missed anything, please tell me! starring: Lee Hanjae. Fukunaga Haruki. featuring: Dylan Hwang / Hwang Chihoon. Their fellow LOOPiN members (old OT10, no Gyujin, a lot of Beomseok). Delilah Franco. Oh Sunyoung. Choi Sangwon. Blonde Bob Piss Girl (a serious character).

timeline: quick flashback to 2018 | early to the end of mid 2022.

word count: 13,405 words. author's notes: welcome everyone to hanruki fuckery part 1 a.k.a the most frustrating and life draining four months in Hanjae's whole entire life a.k.a big sadness, the piece split into two. this one is over 23K long, and was originally intended to be read in one go but! It Got Too Big. The conclusion will be coming out later this week! prepare for a Haruki all in par with the one in the prologue, which falls in between this mess on the timeline. this is a work of a whole month, but it's also a work of two years: a whole central plot, planned and done. title's from this song! give it a listen once you get trought the bigger picture, maybe, for catharsis purposes. stay safe! remember you deserve to be safe, always!

November 12, 2018.

Hanjae had vowed not to cry anymore when he got this job – in the same vehement way he had promised at twelve that he would no longer make a sound if he wailed after school, face buried under piles and piles of unfinished homework, to medium success, just the right amount of it to call it success.

He could still tear up once in a while, if things got though, and that was it; a clause added after his first exhausting week as a trainee. The number escalated to once every two business days after he was shoved to debut on LOOPiN, out of all the upcoming boy groups there were.

There was a story taunting the New Wave Music corridors back then. Someone did something unspeakable to someone else, and it caused an expulsion, followed by the immediate need for a new rapper, a new dancer. And there was Hanjae; a BBC trainee for three months, far removed from the Boy Of The Week gossip, who couldn’t exactly sing but had great enunciation, and had been dancing before he was even walking…

He cried now, openly, defeated. It had been an awful day for LOOPiN 2on1.

Their short lived promotions had played out like a sunset: a big golden start – so much press, so much momentum, so many views on the ‘Baby Don’t Stop’ dance practice video, where he and Haruki were using plain shirts and even plainer jeans – quickly diluting into the darkest of times – the controversies, LOOPiN first ones, and exclusively about them.

A resurrected Facebook photo of Hanjae on his graduation with a bandage around his hand, matched with the lingering traces of his poorly removed tattoo there painted him as a school delinquent; Haruki’s drop out stories reintroduced him as the big drunken failure of KArts’s international program.

They were going to stop going to music shows, the company had decided that day, and Sangwon told them on the drive back that they had just done their last one. They had gone up on stage as a duo for the last last time.

With a strong sniff, Hanjae unburied his face from in between his knees and looked at his hand, at the faint shape of a badly drawn rose on his skin. His dad had been adamant about getting it out the moment he took a look at it, still involved in protective plastic. He used the little money off his college safe to arrange a laser session that Hanjae skipped. A year later, Hanjae managed to schedule another one with the partial sponsor of MBN, the company he was stuck on before BBC. He had to do it in a shady place, at a bigger cost: bad skin scarring.

His mom had been relieved to see it fade even more nonetheless, up until the black tattoo turned into something that almost looked like a peculiar and old scar, if you didn’t give it a second glance; and no one was ever giving Hanjae a second glance.

“Let that be a lesson,” she told him, nose turned up and away from him. “Don’t jump head on into things again, Lee Hanjae. That’s no way to live. Watch yourself, watch your company. You’re not a kid anymore. Do you have no goals? Do you want nothing for yourself? Are you that selfish? Can’t you think, for once, about something that isn’t–”

Haruki was the one who found him, sitting on the floor, small and tense against the laundry machine, waiting for everyone’s clothes to be cleaned – the member’s, Sangwon’s, the cleaning auntie's aprons she had forgotten on top of the dinner table last week. Cleaning was always his scapegoat way of attending to something, even if very small.

Maybe if the company decided to drop him, he thought, Hanjae could still be around as the dorm’s janitor.

“So you’re not from Seoul,” Haruki said, leaning against the door frame with an air of mischief around him, something light on his step despite it all.

It was a statement, not an ask, because he knew this. It was one of the few trivia points they had exchanged during pauses on music shows or water breaks in between choreography practice – ‘What’s your age? What’s your blood type? How many siblings? Oh, none? You’re so lucky, Hanjae, so lucky. All siblings are demons. You aren’t missing a thing.’

Hanjae didn’t even startle; Haruki often popped up at places like that, picking up conversations from days, weeks ago like they were merely put on pause.

Without uttering a word and barely looking up, he still nodded his head no.

Haruki nodded back, a pacifying smile showing up on his face, said, “Cool. Great. How about I show you a place?”

‘The place’, he informed Hanjae, was not all that nice, or clean, and he really shouldn’t wear nice shoes or nice clothes tonight, but at least it wasn’t far, at least they had permission.

“Who’s permission?” Hanjae asked, taking the pile of clothes to the dryer, smoothing wrinkles off them just for something to do.

Haruki waved manager Choi’s front keys in his hand, and Sangwon’s horrendous keychains clanked against each other: a green pine tree and a colorful ball. “The one that matters. What do you say, uh? You’re in? Can I count you in?”

He could count Hanjae in.

[...]

They stopped by a convenience store on the way, some couple of blocks down the dorm, and by then night had already conquered all of Seoul. Inside, the middle aged lady behind the counter rushed to give Haruki a hug, a paper bag and a discount.

“He’s a street cat I found,” she leaned in to explain when she caught Hanjae anxiously looking at him going straight to the back of the store, near the freezers, near the alcohol, with the ease of someone who could do so with his eyes shut. “He’s a good foreign friend.”

“I’m not!” Haruki shouted back, but he was grinning. “Are you not watching the news?”

The noona playfully rolled her eyes, joked back, “What news? You’re not on the news!”

She hushed Hanjae to go catch up with him with an enerved wave, told him to take a look around. “It’s on the house,” she winked. “You’re both so skinny, and you must be working hard, so just take something tasty and leave quickly.”

Trailing a couple feet behind Haruki on the aisle, Hanjae picked up a package of noodles and a modest four-set of Terra cans to accompany his endless Heineken bottles, light green on light green. While Hanjae bagged everything with caution, Haruki slipped a red won note on the balcony when the owner stopped paying attention to them, and off they went again.

Haruki made them walk ten more minutes to the left, and the left, the left again, coming to an abrupt stop in front of an abandoned lot, pure dirt and weeds, the sort that seemed to have turned into an open dump for the neighborhood. It looked no different or less disgusting than the million of others around less central Jungnang; it didn’t look like it could be a spot.

Yet Haruki kept braving straight through the grass without stopping, guiding Hanjae behind him to only step where he was stepping, to keep his eyes glued to the floor and watch out for broken glass. He settled when they were deep into the lot, mere feet away from a big hill. There was a clean view of an uneven street if you looked down, he said, filled with houses that were almost all pretty. Hanjae chose to just trust Haruki’s word on that; he couldn’t dare to come close enough to the drop to peek and see.

Haruki standed the bag of drinks for him to hold, and Hanjae had to do so with both hands. From a spot behind them, he pushed two retriable chairs out of a bulk set against a moldy tree, the metal in them corrupted by rust on the edges, and set them up, sat down, tapped at the other seat with his foot in invitation.

Hanjae took a long and anxious moment to comply. Under him, the chair dangled sideways even if he stayed very, very still.

With the convenience bag back in his domain, Haruki cracked three beers open, and handed Hanjae one, kept the other two: one in each hand, a Heineken and a Terra.

“Never had this one. I heard they’re the same thing,” he said, taking a sip from each and frowning, analyzing them. Hanjae stayed quiet.

He had only drank with his dad and uncles one time, at last year’s Chuseok, and hadn’t been much of a fan of anything. Still, he took a sip of beer.

Haruki at least had grace enough to let him swallow and contain a grimace before asking, with a strange edge to it, “So are you? A bully. A problem child. Part of a gang.”

“No,” Hanjae said, too quickly, too eager. He cleared his throat. “I’m really not, hyung, no.”

“How did it get there, then?” Haruki's look was razor sharp on Hanjae’s once tattooed hand, hard enough to make him freeze. “And why did you remove it? Just to be a trainee?”

Hanjae opened his mouth, but only to take a shaky breath in, swallow a bit more of bitter alcohol. In front of his fleeting eyes, Haruki eased just as quickly as he had hardened.

“Hanjae, we’re teammates now,” he told him. “I showed you my good spot. You can’t give me one word sentences anymore. You can’t lie.”

Hanjae considered this, and considered him from the corner of his eyes. Haruki was the LOOPiN member that Hanjae had come to know best, mostly because they didn’t have a choice, but still, he made an effort, he talked to him; he didn’t let Hanjae fall adrift. And he could have easily turned into an island: from the moment he had been transferred to New Wave, he had been an outsider, a last minute solution to a problem no one would explain to him – who left? Why? Was he worse than them? Was he better?

“You’re better,” Haruki had said, when Hanjae brought it up, late at night while they had dinner alone, in the practice room, sweating and panting – a week until their debut happened. He was the only one who had bothered to tell him so. He sounded like he meant it, too. Hanjae remembers catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror over his shoulder, hair bright brown and unfamiliar, thinking even for a fleeting moment: I’m doing enough.

It was fair for him to be the first to know – the first for Hanjae to disappoint.

“I got it removed before,” he heard himself say. It was a secret, so it came out like one: whispered, slow. “Before I wanted to train. I got it with friends– my dance crew friends. It was our logo, or at least, it was going to be, one day. But I… I did a bad thing, and it stopped making sense. It didn’t fit. I didn’t fit, so. It had to go.”

The vagueness did nothing but pique Haruki’s interest. He seated more properly, then less properly; ended up putting his feet on the seat of the chair, slouching with his head supported on his knee, the exact body language of, ‘Tell me, tell me, tell me.’

“My friend– my best friend, from childhood, our team captain. He used to have a girlfriend. A girl from our class, a dancer too, someone he had been in love with forever. Later she became part of the group, and we got close, we turned into friends, and then not. Not quite that. They broke up and one hour later we got together, on the same day. We got caught. It was a mess. Everyone thought it was a shitty thing to do, that it was cheating, cheating on everyone. But I just wanted her to be my girlfriend, back then– Back then, I wanted a girlfriend more than I wanted anything...”

Hanjae felt it coming, again: the desire to recoil a bit more on himself in shame. How pathetic he had been, then; how miserable, how sad, how lonely.

He took a timid peek to the side, ready to see an irk of dismay on Haruki’s face, some justified disgust, and was surprised to not see any of that. Haruki had grown passionate and invested in the whole story, something new in his eyes, a third bottle halfway drained in his hand.

He moved his chin up, as if saying, ‘Go on’, but Hanjae couldn’t. He drained the rest of the beer.

Haruki clicked his tongue like that wouldn’t do. He shoved his chair a few inches closer so he could grab at Hanjae's arm and said, all at once, “We can not– Hanjae, look, listen, we can not be blamed for all the things, the crazy things we do when love…!” He didn't finish the sentence, just amended it into another one: “You were a teenager, you both were, and very, very brave. Very brave to tell her and date her and keep dating her even if. They were just– bad friends. Just bad friends.”

They weren’t bad friends, Hanjae knew; they weren’t the ones in the wrong. But it hurted to say it out loud, to admit what he knew was still true: how easily he burned bridges for attention, for affection, so he never did. He just knew – looked at his reflection on surfaces and knew.

He rolled and rolled the tap of the Terra until it fell off, into the can. “Did you really quit college, hyung?” Was what he asked the wind.

Haruki shifted on his seat; Hanjae could only tell because of the way it creaked. “More like college quit me,” he said, with a sad huff of air that might have been a laugh, and dropped Hanjae’s arm, drank from his bottle too.

Sadness fell over them like a veil from then on. The Terras ended and Haruki didn’t mind sharing all the other stuff he had, and the longer it went on the less shy Hanjae felt about asking. At some point Haruki said, “I guess we really fucked up, uh – with 2on1,” and Hanjae, whipping a foam mustache off his face, “Minwoo’s not talking to me,” and Haruki, almost falling over with laugher, “Oh, my, I bet not! Ha. I bet not…”, and turned reticent, fell quiet.

His eyes, Hanjae had noticed, kept darting to a spot ahead in between conversation, beyond the drop of the hill, dazed. He violently shook his head sideways everytime he caught himself drifting too far away, and ran a hand over his face, rubbing at it in a way that made Hanjae look at him in worry.

Haruki found it hilarious each time. “What is it,” he eventually said, slower than normal, harder to understand, “With you, your face?”

He got up from his chair, a sudden move that sent it falling to the floor, a loud squeak, and walked even closer.

In front of Hanjae, right in front of him, he leaned forward until he got both his hands on his face, and said, pushing the corners of his mouth up, “The mood is so– Bad! So bad! Smile! Big smile! C’mon, give me a big smile!”

There had been dirt on Haruki’s hand, and Hanjae could vaguely taste it, with how close to his lips he was pressing. He still wore his inner braces back then; he kept cutting his tongue on the same spot, never healing, never telling, and he could feel the inside of his cheeks pressing onto that sharp place, about to be pierced through.

For a moment, they stayed quiet, looking at each other head on. Hanjae was not smiling. His heart had picked up a quick pace inside his chest, was drumming – Haruki was so close, and he was so beautiful, a true magazine type beauty, all symmetry, and Hanjae knew this, but not with this much conviction, not with so much emotion.

“Ah, you know what? I like you. I decided. I do like you, now…” Haruki said, and then he grinned, bringing his face even nearer. He took a breath and Hanjae felt it on his own nose, and didn’t know what to do about it; his mind, for a moment, went static. “Nothing will happen to you, friend. I promise it. ‘Will not let it.”

Hanjae’s held breath was a painful thing to let out of his chest. “Was something– Was something going to…?”

Haruki huffed a laugh and gave his cheeks two playful taps, said, with a new found determination, “Handsome guy. Do not get sad. I will fix this for you,” and let Hanjae’s face go.

He straightened his back up and swayed slightly to the side, running a hand over his hair, fixing his bangs back into place. Haruki told him, “Late. No booze. Night over”, and extended that same hand for Hanjae to take – Hanjae who still felt like his face had gone numb, blood rushing to it.

He took the hand, and they made their way back to the dorm that way, hanging close; Like magnets, Hanjae remembers thinking, idly, and then not idly at all. Haruki’s hands were leaving behind a pressure everywhere they touched, a heat that Hanjae couldn’t shake off – he just couldn’t shake it off.

Later, when Hanjae layed in bed, sheet drawn over his entire body, he could still feel it. When he woke up the morning after, nauseated but still in the group, still safe, he could still feel it.

If he closes his eyes now, right now, he can still feel it – the sad sort of burn of a premonition misread.

January 13, 2022.

Los Angeles is sunny in a way Haegon would love to see and pretend to hate – a saddening thought Hanjae had since they landed, and that comes back to haunt him while he looks at the city passing by on the van’s window, sidewalks all golden.

Haegon’s not a loud person in his eyes, but his absence is a loud thing, pouring the life out of everyone, mostly because of the way it had been forced on them.

It had been a horrifying way to open the year: having to come forward right on the first day of 2022 to the press, headlining Haegon’s mugging and the accident, his follow up hiatus and excuse out of their ‘We Do’ promotions in the USA. And then there was having to deal with Haegon in private, angry and disappointed, not wanting to take his pain medicine, shoving his room’s door in everyone's faces, dismissing every checkup attempt with an annoyed, “It’s just a minor concussion, what the Hell! I’m not fucking dying! Get the fuck off me, I’m fine, get off, just fuck off already to the States without me! Go on! Just– just leave me already!”

They’re driving out of some media company studio around the center of Los Angeles, where they filmed two twenty minute videos in a roll, more embarrassing games than actual interviews, and Hanjae has already spent all of his ability to mend English words together.

It could have been more fun, one of their staff said, but they had to pass on the puppy interview format because of Taesong’s allergies, and Jiahang’s been dead set on pretending to be sad about it during the entire ride back to the hotel; crocodile tears and all.

Hanjae has to deal with him from the last seat on the far opposite side of the van, resting his fried blonde head against his shoulder, sighing loudly, because Dylan is also not here to amuse him – he took a bus home to Santa Monica and will stay home until they leave in two days time.

Hanjae doesn’t like provoking Taesong, doesn’t like to spoil Jiahang, but that means very little in the grand escape of the group, that goes about poking fun of Taeng like it’s a sport, that’s stuck in a position where they really can’t say no to J.J, who owns company shares; he shoots the meek figure of Taesong an apologetic look as Jiahang’s act carries on, trying to tell him: ‘I’m not a part of this, I just don’t know how to stop it.’

Thankfully, the hotel isn’t that far away, and it’s a quick torture – up until things takes a turn for the worse.

As they park and start to step out, Beomseok’s long arm blocks the door before he and Jiahang can put a single leg outside of the car.

“Stop,” he tells J.J, harsh enough to make Hanjae stumble a step back. Beomseok points a finger right at Jiahang’s face, and inch from touching his nose, says, “Stop being a fucking problem. Stop.”

It makes Jiahang livid, turns his ears bright red. He takes long stomps to the elevator, and Hanjae has to jog to keep up with him – Jiahang really has the longest legs Hanjae has ever seen on a person.

“He’s got such a stick up his ass!” He keeps on saying, barging into the room they’re both sharing with Dylan and Zhiming – angrily tossing his bag into his ‘cheap dollar store bed with the cheap dollar store sheets’ that made him go into a very similar rant last night. “He thinks he’s the only one who cares about Gon, the only one who can bother. He’s so wrong. I’m fucking worried too! I’m calling him too! I miss him! I’m more of a friend to him than that weirdo is. He’s so weird. He thinks he owns Haegon and everyone and everything, just because he’s older, just because he trained for like, one billion years! Like it’s my fault Starship thought he was too ugly to join NO.MERCY!”

“You were being annoying, Jiahang,” O.z deadpans from the corner he’s tucked in, without looking up from his manhwa.

Jiahang grunts louder. “Yeah, that was the point. Taesong knows I’m just joking around! Everyone knows!”

Zhiming lowers the comic from his face, flipping a page. His eyes have deep dark circles behind his thick glasses, marks that never go away. “Unnecessary.”

Jiahang rolls his eyes, putting his hair up on an ugly bun. He turns his back to Zhiming’s bed and mouths at Hanjae, mocking, ‘Unnecessary’.

Hanjae shrugs at him, and that annoys J.J too. He angrily puts on a movie on the tiny TV, gets a hold of his bed’s pillow and wraps himself around it, mumbling something under his breath still. The tags on the streaming app read comedy, musical. He chews on a poor nail while humming along the first song, and Hanjae tries to humor him with a tiny, “Is that Ariana Grande sunbaenim?”

It doesn’t work. Jiahang shoves his face into his pillow and says, miserable and muffled, “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t hang around with you, you’re so lame. I miss Dylan so much.”

“He invited you to go with him,” Hanjae says, helplessly. “You said you didn’t want to.”

“Of course I didn’t want to! I would have to sleep on the floor. In a bag, on the floor. And I don’t think his grandma would like me – I don’t think anyone in his family would like me,” he turns his face around, off the pillow. Hanjae can hear clearly when he says, “He needs time alone with them. For the anxieties.”

“The anxieties?” Hanjae asks him, very slowly.

Jiahang presses his mouth shut tight, straights himself up again. He undoes his ponytail, tosses his long, long hair from one side to the other, behind his ears.

He takes a quick look at Zhiming, and Hanjae does too, and they go by uncaught; O.z’s got his big headphones in now, eyes glued to his comic book.

Jiahang is still careful to whisper, “The rest of you don’t get what it's like, when you’re away from your home every day, when you know all the people you’re going to see aren’t all the ones you know – when you got family that’s like, old, and you know that time’s passing. You’re losing days with them. It gets scary, after a while. Dylan’s grandad will be 82 this year, hyung – that’s a terrifying number, that’s a maybe. That’s the anxiety. Mine, his– Zhiming’s, too. Foreign member anxiety.”

Hanjae nods, sharp. Jiahang makes a face at him, brighter – smiles, says like a tease, “Not Haruki’s, though. Haruki doesn’t miss Japan at all, if that’s what you’re wondering. He’s not anxious about that.”

Hanjae blinks. Opens his mouth, closes it, blinks again. “I wasn’t going to ask–”

“Sure thing. Suuuuure,” J.J says slyly, and goes back to watching TV, and Hanjae does too. Gulps, keeps looking at the movie, tries to pay attention.

Jiahang put on korean subtitles for him, yet he keeps talking – explaining everything. It’s a nice enough movie, he says. Good songs, nice enough movie.

They’re reaching the end of it, seeing every main character gather in a protest around town, when Haruki barges into their room.

“Are any of you not gonna rot inside this hotel?” He asks, loudly, quickly. “Is anyone going to do anything? Catch some sun?”

“Hanjae’s supposed to be going out,” Zhiming tells him. He’s also watching the movie now, has Jiahang by his side, explaining to him what he missed.

“Oh?” Haruki says, and looks around the room, eyes a little clouded, until they land on Hanjae. He smiles, and it stretches across his face quick and big, like he’s actually glad to see him, like the effect is instantaneous. Hanjae can’t for the life of him look at it head on. “Perfect. That’s just perfect, I’m going with you, Hanhan, just wait for me to get changed!”

“Okay,” Hanjae says, and hops off the bed too quickly, sits back down. “I– Waiting.”

Immediately after Haruki leaves Jiahang gives him a long look over Zhiming’s shoulder, and Hanjae pretends not to see it.

“You’re too easy,” he says, with a disapproving nod of his head, and Hanjae pretends he doesn’t hear it, pretends it doesn’t sting.

It’s humiliating, being reminded that people know – that they look at him and know, and he’s reminded of it constantly.

“Hanjae’s sad, sad bisexual awakening,” was how Jiahang put it, sing-a-song in the studio, while making this very single they’re promoting now. “Worse, worse than Minwoo’s– Is that a verse? Can we put that on a song, on the album?”

Minwoo said, for the two of them, “Fuck you.”

And there that one time, the one he remembers clearly, when Seo CEO said he wanted to sit down to watch them practicing ‘Love Me Right’ before the big release, and Taesong pushed Hanjae aside, told him, “Hanjae, you– if you need to check the choreo, please look at the instruction video. Don’t look at Haruki like that, there’s no need to look like you–”

There had to be a separation, he realized; he had to get it under control.

So Hanjae made friends with the people Haruki seemed to not stand, which sometimes meant everyone, but mostly meant J.J and Beomseok – two extremes of very opposite lines. He’s built a line of separation, wrapped himself up in Haruki repellent, and he tries to live by it.

It’s a frail line, a shitty line, and it comes crashing down all the time, with the little moments; single minutes where things feel kind between them, different. A bottle of water and a perfectly folded towel passed to him backstage, a group conversation where Haruki eventually says, like clockwork, “And you, Hanjae? What do you think?”; no one else says that. There’s this lingering nearness coming from him, like there's always something Haruki wants to say or do but can’t, something he wants to check.

It makes Hanjae wonder – makes him come back to that one friendly night, hang on to it. The way Haruki had been so near, his exact tone of voice when he said that he liked him, considered him a friend, thought he was handsome, was going to fix whatever was wrong.

[...]

“So what are we doing?” Haruki asks when they step onto the sidewalk.

“Just filming my Loop Log,” Hanjae responds. “Deadline’s tonight.”

“Shit, that,” Haruki groans, taking his cap off to push hair out of his eyes, putting it on again. “I forgot all about that. ‘Haven’t filmed mine either. ‘Think I lost my camera.”

“I can help you look,” Hanjae offers. “When we get home.”

“Well, thank you,” Haruki says, and steps closer, slides an arm over Hanjae’s shoulder, tells him, “For now, I guess we’ll just have to stick tight. LOOPiN 2on1, reunited in L.A…!”

At Hanjae’s timid request, Chihoon made him a list of what he should get to ‘live his best tourist life’, what the fans might want to see him try: pancakes, bacon and eggs, ice cream, anything in the menu that looks like it could have come off a cartoon, any ‘house specials’.

They go into the nearest place listed with the camera on hand, and have to explain with their Frankenstein English that they want to make a vlog, can they make a vlog? They can, a waiter says, but only in a specific area; they get taken there.

Hanjae orders the house special, and it's a crazy looking Banana Split. Haruki settles for waffles, and they decide to start filming when the food arrives.

Any chance of small talk between them goes fully stall when Hanjae asks, right at their waiter steps away, as the opening topic: “Have you talked to Haegon?”

Haruki’s dangling hand on the table stills. He smiles weird, notices it looks weird, drops it: “Ah, no. No…” and goes silent, makes Hanjae go silent too.

The food comes, they start filming. Hanjae’s meticulously trying to extract a tiny piece of strawberry from a block of ice cream, all while only looking through the camera’s lens, when Haruki’s phone jumps to life, ringing.

He takes it out of his pocket, places it screen flat on the table without looking at the receiver once, mutes it with one hand, adds a mountain of maple syrup to his food with the other.

“Not important,” Haruki reassures Hanjae when he catches him looking at the buzzing phone, an inch away from falling off the edge. He forks the food and stands his hand across the table, says, with his Idol voice, “Wanna try?”

It’s good sweet food, all of it. The camera goes back and forth between them, hand to hand. Haruki makes him pretend they’re shooting a commercial, at some point, makes him do a different pose with every bite, and Hanjae tries to not lose control of his face with all the wooing, all the praise.

It’s fanservice, and Haruki’s good at it. It makes for good content. Everything: good.

Outside, bill paid, they take shelter from the sun and check the recording; thirty raw minutes of footage.

“Hanjae,” Haruki says, looking up after skimming the video, solemn. Hanjae leans a bit forward, eyes a little wide.“The Log will turn out very boring if this is all we do.”

It is, indeed, not the best vlog Hanjae’s ever made. Not that he’s ever been any good at them, or at anything on the media side of the job outside of music covers or choreography making. He’s seen the views on his solo variety content, Sangwon walked him through them all last month, said: nothing special.

They barely talked in 30 minutes – Hanjae didn't initiate a single conversation with him.

Quickly, Haruki’s eyes narrow as he scans the area around them, and Hanjae tries to keep up. He looks for a long moment at the barracks of food, at a man selling balloons, and finally lands far ahead, on a group of kids running on the sand. The leading one trips on air and falls face first on the ground, immediately wails, and they let out matching startled, horrified laughs.

Haruki jogs until he’s in front of him, and turns to walk backwards, closer to where the sidewalk gives into the beach.

“You wanna do that?” He arches a perfect eyebrow. “Run around on the beach with me. Like we’re in a movie.”

Hanjae steps on a stone, lands his other feet on the ground wrong. “I– No.”

“No? Well, I’m doing it! It’s what the vlog’s missing! Trust me, if we do this, it’ll fix everything,” he says, and before Hanjae can even think of what to reply, turns around and starts running on the sand, straight ahead.

Haruki’s already bent over near the ocean when Hanjae catches up with him, folding his jeans until they stop at his knees, barefoot. He insists: “Let’s go, let’s do it, you’re already here, it’s going to be fun, the fans will like it, let’s do it, let’s do it!”

With a resigned sigh, Hanjae unties his sneakers.

Haruki approaches a family nearby and asks for a beach chair, gets a yes. They place the camera cautiously on it, set it with a big zoom ahead. Haruki leaves his phone there, too, with a careless toss, and Hanjae can hear it announcing another call as he steps away, trailing exactly behind him – footprint over footprint, back near the ocean and then on the ocean.

“I thought– Hyung, I thought we were going to just walk,” Hanjae says, stopping. The salt water is a chill foam around his foot.

“Yeah,” Haruki flashes him a smile over his shoulder. He’s about to be knees deep, is taking his Hawaiian shirt off, Hanjae realizes now, with a flush. “We’re walking. Into the water.”

Hanjae catches the shirt when he throws it over his shoulder, looks at it, up at him. He takes a step closer. “Manager Choi’s– Haruki, he’s going to complain!”

“Fuck him!” Haruki tells him with a laugh. He says, with meaning: “Fuck him, fuck New Wave, let them complain, I’m going for a dive and no one can stop me!”

And then he dives, swims, disappears under the water for a long moment. Hanjae stays planted where he is, at a loss of words. When Haruki reemerges, pushing a curtain off black hair off his eyes, and walks back splashing water at him. By the time they’re side by side again, it looks like Hanjae took a dive, too.

“Are you…” He starts to say, eyeing Haruki worryingly, but then the family from before calls back to them, says they’re leaving, they need the chair back, and Haruki claps him on the shoulder, smiles widely, races him to reach them.

“Look,” Haruki says when they’re checking the footage, back on the sidewalk, showing Hanjae a clip: the two of them, a little blurry, walking. “We even got your good smile.”

“My good smile?” Hanjae echoes.

“Not to imply you have a bad one, because you don’t have a bad one,” Haruki says, and bumps their shoulders together. He has just put his shirt back on, is wearing it unbuttoned. “You just have one that’s relaxed, easy. A rare one.”

“Hm,” Hanjae responds, looking away, rolling a rock under his feet.

The walk back to the hotel is calm, windy. The sky’s cotton candy pink and it all looks like a movie, Hanjae thinks. He looks down, and their hands are loose, hanging close, like it would be in a movie.

The end credits roll when they get in the hotel’s lobby, and find Sangwon there – just right there. He catches sight of them immediately, like an alert dog; a quick jump off his seat, a stall near.

He seems to consider them like an equation, frowning: he takes in their wet hair, the wet clothes, the leftover traces of sand, solves it, fumes.

“Do you have any idea,” he says, and he’s struggling to look at the two of them, to not just gawk at Haruki – to not bare his teeth to Haruki only. “Any idea, you two, of how irresponsible this whole stunt was? You’re out on a foreign land. You know no one – no one. When I– The company, if the company calls, you pick your phone. It’s how it works. Pick your phone, immediately.”

Hanjae checks his own phone, a quick glance: no calls.

“Choi-nim,” he says, not looking directly at him, because he lost the ability over the years. Sangwon’s gaze now makes him incredibly anxious. He takes the camera out of where its hanging around his neck, stands it. “I notified– On the calendar, I added– We were just filming–”

“No need to explain, Hanjae,” Haruki interrupts, and puts a hand on Hanjae’s shoulder, steps in front of him, puts himself between him and Sangwon. “Go up. You did nothing wrong. It’s okay. Hyung’s going to solve this with the manager.” He turns straight to Choi-nim and bows, so pristine, so polite: “I take full responsibility for today. It was all me. I’m really sorry if I caused you stress.”

Sangwon considers him for a long moment, taking in the bend of his elbows, like he’s trying to measure his sincerity – there’s almost none of it, Hanjae can tell. He sighs, and then he adjusts his shirt, picks at the cufflinks of his uniform, breaths – his nostrils taking over his entire face.

“You’re dismissed,” Sangwon tells Hanjae, icely, with a corner of the eye glance.

“Sir, I–”

“Dismissed.”

“Go on,” Haruki encourages him, giving Hanjae’s shoulder a firm tap. And then he runs a hand over Hanjae’s hair, messes it up until his wet bangs are glued to his forehead, which he’s never done before; not with him, not with anyone, as far as Hanjae’s aware.

Hesitantly, Hanjae steps away, goes to take the elevator. He keeps looking at them over his shoulder, watching them trail away with growing uneasiness. Haruki keeps looking back at him until he can’t: Sangwon gets the door of the hotel open, shoves him by the shoulder out.

Up in his hotel room, Hanjae showers for a long time. There’s sand on a spot on his elbow where Haruki gave him a tap, and it takes him a while to notice.

He comes off the shower and goes straight to laying down. Zhiming, who had been awake when he came in, is also in his bed now, fully still.

He turns over once, and then again, goes back on his side. “Zhiming hyung?” Hanjae whispers. “You’re awake?”

When Zhiming finally responds, it’s with a minimal grunt, a tiny quick of his socked foot. “What.”

“Do you,” Hanjae chews on the words, “Do you think I have a good smile?”

A pause, a loud sigh. “You’re an Idol. You should hope so.”

“Okay. Okay, so what about– What about me do you think, what looks bad?”

Slowly, very slowly, Zhiming raises his upper body on his elbows. His air is a mess, recently dyed from gray to black too quickly. Without his glasses, he’s forced to squint at Hanjae, even this close, with their beds separated by a very narrow space.

“What the fuck are you even talking about?”

Hanjae takes in a sharp breath, and nods – puts a hand over his eyes, nods again. Stupid, so stupid.

“Nothing,” He says. “Nothing, just– Forget it. I’m sorry, just– Sorry.”

Zhiming goes back to laying down with a loud ‘oof’. He says, a crude whisper, “Don’t go out alone with him if it’ll make you come back like that.”

And with that Hanjae decides he must sleep, immediately, and end this day already.

It was just a day, he tells himself, rubbing at the scarred spot on his hand; a flower in eternal bloom, once. Just one good day. Drop it, forget it, erase it.

February 15, 2022.

“C’mon, you guys, c’moooon! On a scale of one to ten–”

“Na Seungsoo,” Minwoo’s voice rings out like a warning; an elastic pulled far above its limit, about to snap back into place, hard. “Shut your goddamn mouth.”

“She’s right there,” Haegon adds, equally as ultraged. “Are you dumb? Do you want to die?”

“Light up, you two. We’re just talking hypotheticals. I’m not actually gonna fuck our mananger,” Seungsoo says, crossing his arms, raising his chin high – his posture the embodiment of a practical joke about to take action. “That would be desperate and unprofessional, and I am none of these things.”

“You’re extremely unprofessional,” Jiahang laughs at him, a little mean – all his laughs have something a little mean about them, Hanjae can’t help but notice, when Seungsoo’s involved. “And extremely desperate. You just fucked our sound assistant. We no longer have a sound assistant, because you fucked her.”

“So did Jimin!”

“A fluke,” Zhiming defends himself. “Not happening again.”

“It’s never a fluke with you, Seungsoo. You’re such a man whore. A man whore for staff. Even Sangwon could have pulled you when he was around if he had a pair of tits,” Haegon notes, and Seungsoo gasps, mutters, scandalized, ‘You bastard!’, raises a fist up as if he’s going to hit him, and everyone’s laughing. Hanjae contributes with a grimace. “You’re that gross, you’re really that disgusting, all it would take–”

Behind them, Dylan begins to violently choke on a bite out of his granola bar, hard enough for the whole photo studio to freeze.

Taesong stands up immediately to check on him, and so does Jungwha, their three day old manager, Choi Sangwon’s definitive substitute and the topic of Seungsoo’s most recent infatuation: she rushes forward to aid alongside an assistant, a cup of water materialized out of thin air on her hand, like a trained lifeguard.

It’s too early for any of them to get a good read on her, but Hanjae has working eyes, so he will admit Junghwa is good looking in a mature sort of way, a bit above the ‘K-Pop staff adequate’. She’s not far from Seungsoo’s type, given the fact that he pretty much doesn’t have one. Hanjae has seen him flirt with Seo CEO’s third ex-wife, the second ex-wife, all of Minwoo’s half sisters and, in a disastrous attempt, Dylan’s mom. ("She's just so young, Chihoon! I thought she was your cousin!"

"I don't have a single cousin and you know that! You went for my mom, you animal, the least you can do is own it!")

“Holy shit, Chihoon,” Seungsoo says, tapping him on the back with one hand, fanning him with the other. “You’re alright?”

“My bad– False alarm, guys, my bad–!”, Dylan mutters, still coughing, watery eyes quick in their attempt to scan the room for something, someone.

Hanjae follows their frantic trail until they land on the quiet figure of Haruki by the coffee machine, his back to them, shoulders rigid and on display – wearing the same suit outfit Hanjae has been put on, his in a shade more close to purple than blue.

It fits Haruki splendidly, as must things do.

“Alright, boys, hey, boys!” Jungwha calls out when Dylan’s lungs go back to normal, clapping her hands one loud time. “Break’s over! It’s the real deal, now! So let’s try to have a good day at work today! Fighting!”

They’re set to scatter in trios and duos, the old unit formations, except for Haegon, who’s still on hiatus, still has stitches all over the crown of his head. He only made it because Haruki insisted, and he’s always insisting, lately: “How can we do well without our cheerleader,” he told Haegon in the morning, “Our cute, adorable cheerleader, my very favorite little brother–!”

“Hi,” Hanjae mutters, tapping Haruki gently in the shoulder. Haruki jumps, catching his breath, and Hanjae drops his hand, shoves it behind his own back. “Ah, sorry, if I– I was just going to say we should–”

But Haruki is turning and splinting in front of him before all the words are out, growing out of earshot, out of hold, entering a hallway on the left.

Hanjae, embarrassed, follows.

They’re supposed to go to room 4, but Haruki walks right past it. Hanjae calls back to him from the door, says, “Hyung, that’s not the–”, and then his voice falters, dies out.

Haruki’s already quick pace has grown even quicker, and he’s now running towards the door at the end of the corridor, the one with a red sign written ‘TERRACE’ over it – really running, to the point his body almost slams against the metal when he stops. The door handle makes a loud noise as he tries to push it open, can’t make it, tries again, harder – manages to step out with a strong shove. Hanjae goes after him, frowning, worried.

Outside, the terrace is a gray space, almost the same tone as the sky – rain’s a strong promise on the horizon, a reasonable fear.

Haruki’s standing right at the center. He tries to take in a big and loud gulp of air, can’t, makes a choking sound, lets out a hiss. Hanjae can feel the acute panic coming off him like electricity, gluing itself to his very own skin. He reminds himself to breathe.

Haruki stands an arm out and that’s the distance between them, that’s the nearest he’ll let Hanjae get.

“What’s– What’s happening, what’s wrong, what–?”

“Just,” he’s trembling bad. “Leave, I need– Leave.”

“Now?” Hanjae asks, and he’s making himself bite down on the trail of: ‘But the shoot’, ‘But the gig’, ‘But the job’ so hard, he’s actually got his teeth sinking on his lip.

Haruki nods, sharp and final, and Hanjae feels himself nodding back, frenetic. “Okay, stay– stay here, okay, you’ll leave– we’re leaving, just stay here.”

Hanjae walks back into the building with his head very low, tries to not walk too quickly to bring attention to himself, feels like he’s falling; feels like the whole world is looking at him. He holds his breath while sneaking back into the room they’re using as a closet, picks his and Haruki’s things like a thief: pushing everything into their bags without folding, eyes anxiously looking behind his back, flinching at every outside noise coming through the door.

Haruki’s phone is the last thing he grabs. He only becomes aware of it because it starts ringing. He looks at the screen, a quick run of his eyes. The contact name reads: ‘Don’t Answer Don’t Answer Don’t Answer.’

On the roof, Haruki’s sitting on the floor, resting his forehead against the wall. The back half of an air conditioner hangs close to him, and the leftover water pools near his feet, turning the hem of his pants dark.

They put on the yellow raincoats, plastic hood all the way up, and make a clumsy escape out the studio; Hanjae babbles something at the receptionist about there being equipment in the van, and the woman gives them a distracted ‘go ahead’ nod, an empty courtesy smile.

They walk without a plan, enter on the first bus that stops close: Haruki on the lead, completely reticent, Hanjae only following. There’s still a trail of glitter going down his neck, shiny with sweat, red from stress, Hanjae notices when they sit down. He’s still crying, still whipping at his runny nose with the expensive fabric of his shirt.

Hanjae looks down at his own clothes, the suit vest with no shirt under, a design piece New Wave doesn’t own – he’s wearing eyeliner, a strong smokey eye. They look expensive, and to an outsider, probably peculiar, weird. They don’t even have masks on…

Maybe, Hanjae hopes, trying to hold on to any trail of optimism possible, they could pass as very dedicated cover dancers, maybe–

The sound of Hanjae’s phone ringing makes them both jump in their seats. Haruki comes out of his state of anxious inertia to put a hand on his knee, pressing on it to get his attention. He says, through his teeth, “Do not– Hanjae, do not.”

Hanjae lets the phone ring out. He looks at the receiver: Uhm Junghwa (Manager).

Haruki’s peeking at it too. “Off,” he says, and it’s off.

It’s raining when they step out of the bus. They get maybe five feet down the sidewalk when a phone rings again – this time, Haruki’s. He comes to a sudden halt, and Hanjae bumps into his back and gets a close view of how, in an act of blind rage, he throws it hard on the floor.

“Fuck!” Haruki says, and steps on it once, twice, cracks the screen then the whole device in half. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Hanjae looks at him, wide eyed, mouth hanging open, and watches him pace around, a tense moment, until he loses all steam, goes sit by the closest wall.

Haruki stays for a long time there, one hand gripping the fence, the other pressing over his face, being rained on. Cautiously, Hanjae slides his raincoat off, squats down, close to him, and stands it over both their heads. Rain drips directly into his shoulder, makes a cold path down his neck.

“I hope your–,” a hiccup, a sniff, a faint and unconvincing attempt from Haruki of laughing them both off, “your fantasy’s still– still up.”

“My…?”

“Can you not,” Haruki says, a hiss, “Not look.”

Hanjae complies, doesn’t look. Behind them, a car runs close to the sidewalk, splashes a wave of rainwater on their backs.

“Sasaeng?” Hanjae tries, “Is it a sasaeng, or…”

Haruki lets out a bitter snort. “Imja,” he says, and it makes more sense that he means ‘owner’ rather than ‘marriage partner’; Hanjae can’t hear anything else, can’t connect anything else to something he knows and decode it.

His throat has gone dry, sandy. He clears it, and still, his voice comes off clipped. “Your…? Ah. Ah, I didn’t know– Didn’t know you have someone you were–”

“You know him,” Haruki says. “For years. You– you’ve known him. He gave you your job– Made your job happen.”

It takes a long moment for it to click, for the shape of manager Choi to come to Hanjae’s mind. Haruki’s looking at him like he’s expecting Hanjae to do something horrible: mouth set for a fight, eyes so red they look like they’ve been painted over.

“Hyung,” Hanjae breathes. His voice is an even quieter thing, afraid. “Do you mean– Are you being serious?”

“Am I! Am I serious?!”

He’s up again, quick – Hanjae loses his equilibrium and falls back on the street. Haruki doesn’t wait for him to get up to resume stomping.

It takes two street turns for Hanjae to understand they’re detouring from the dorms.

They sit on another bus stop bench, hop on another bus. A quiet and tense drive, this one. Haruki’s no longer crying, just grinding his teeth.

They go to the front gates of a tiny building, their final destination, and Haruki tells the security guard an apartment number, wais to be buzzed in. He does soon, and Hanjae, yet to be told to leave, goes up with him on the stairs.

Delilah gets the door he bangs on, and Hanjae’s stuck blinking at the sight of her, who shouldn’t still be in Korea. Haruki barges into her place like a hurricane: shoes still on, pushing her a little back, closer to the wall.

They both stare at the spot he occupied on the corridor a second ago, a held breath.

She recovers much quicker than he does. Deh tucks a long lock of her caramel hair behind her ear, greets him with an awkward, “Hanjae, hi. Hi...”, and Hanjae gets overwhelmed by too many things at once; how glad he is to see her, the shame of how they had parted. Her sad face when she told everyone she couldn’t stand to work with them anymore.

“You’re back.”

“I am! I am back!” Deh says. “How could I not! Europe’s too gray for me. The food’s too bad, and...” She sucks air through her teeth, takes an anxious look behind her, back inside. “... And all that.”

Hanjae shakes his head, agrees – agrees to all that even though he has no idea what all that is. There’s a pool of spit on his mouth, and he has to concentrate on gulping it down, has to try more than once.

“Hanjae, baby, look– I’ll send him on his way later. Maybe tonight. Or tomorrow morning. Just…” She trials off. “Please don’t tell the others we met, okay? I don’t want Seungsoo looking for me or asking around. I don’t want to see him again, ever.”

Fair, Hanjae thinks. After everything, fair.

Deh flashes him a final grim before closing the door, still awkward, and it doesn’t last. She drops it for a split second, fully drops it, looks instead concerned, anxious.

Hanjae waits a moment, then moves before he knows it. He presses his ear against the shut door, closes his eyes and hopes to catch anything. A creek of wood. A vacuum cleaner being turned off. The sound of someone channel surfing. Deh saying what might be, “Haruki, what do you want me to do? I can’t know, love. I can’t know if you don’t tell me.”

Another sound drowns everything, nearer. Someone from the apartment on the left starts to unlock their door, it’s about to walk out, and it leaves Hanjae panicking, it makes him jog all the way out of the building, nonstop.

He makes the inverse way back home, alone. His own phone is a hot thing in his back pocket. When he gets to the dorm, Chihoon is the first person he bumps into, planted right beside the shoe rack. Hanjae’s seen him in this set of clothes, short shorts and a knockoff Pokemon shirt, more than he’s seen his own dad’s face these last few years.

Dylan grabs at Hanjae when he notices it’s him, pushes him back out quickly. He puts a finger in front of his mouth – quiet.

“I’ve given you some cover,” he whispers. They’re circling the house, Hanjae realizes, going to the backyard. “Said you were not feeling well. It won’t fly with Minwoo or Taesong, so think of something. And you're not gonna get paid this month, because of the clothes. Neither of you will.” He looks around, eyes sharp in a way Hanjae didn’t think they could be. “Where is he?”

“Deh’s,” Hanjae blurts out, and remembers he promised not to speak of her, grows meek.

He’s tired, deep in the bones tired, from all the walking, all the running. The socks inside his sneakers are still wet, his fingers have gone cold.

“Good,” Dylan says, remarkably unsurprised. “That’s good enough.”

There’s a moment of silence between them. In Hanjae’s head, a pinned image every time he blinks: Haruki’s eyes, red like a bruise.

“Chihoon hyung, I think– I think there’s something wrong with–”

Dylan’s grip on his arm is steady, but no longer comforting when he says, “Hanjae, listen, yes. Yes. Something’s wrong. Too many things–” He shakes his head, clicks his tongue once, and again. “No need for you to worry about it, because there’s nothing you can really do, okay? It’s been too long, now. The time for anyone to really do anything, over.”

He looks like he doesn’t want to be saying it, like all those words taste bitter, bad.

“So just keep being nice,” Dylan concludes, and his voice breaks at the end. “Be nice with him right now, alright? And patient, and normal, just like always, and…”

Dylan doesn’t say what else. He looks down, and Hanjae follows. Near their feet, a trail of black nicotine ash and tiny bits of paper; someone’s worry, someone’s wait.Kind, maybe, Hanjae concludes on his own. Maybe kind was what he was going to say.

March 12th & a Bit Of 13th, 2022.

Sunyoung immediately strikes Hanjae as someone who’s never held a small house party before, and it’s a bit painful to see her try.

She greets them at the door, a little overdressed: Chanel earrings, Chanel bag. “Is that everyone?”, she asks, craning her neck to peek behind them, and when they mumble ‘yes’ she visibly withers.

Taesong steps in front of them to give her a gift – a flower vase so yellow Zhiming had to look away from it, rubbing at his eyes.

She stares at it for a minute, frowns hard, then composes herself, says, “Ah! Thank you so much, oppa! This is so– Yeah, thanks! But you didn’t have to! Gon, baby! I said they didn’t have to!”

“I told you they don’t listen to me,” Haegon mutters. There’s a dark cloud over his face and Sunyoung seems to not mind it. She squeezes his arm when he passes her by, smiles at him prettily.

She checks the corridor one more time, and for a moment Hanjae thinks she looks sad; that she looks angry.

The party is a housewarming party for the brand new double storey apartment in Nine One Hannam she’s sharing with her BombShell leader Yoorim, who strongly opposed herself to throwing anything. Hanjae catches a glimpse of her looking displeased and bothered behind the kitchen aisle, and bows his head a little – she rolls her eyes, turns her back on him, disappears behind a small group of people.

Beomseok refused to come, decided to take the afternoon to go grocery shopping, the night to visit family he can’t take Haegon to see; the side that calls him a parasite. It had been a clear jab, right at Haegon’s face. Even Minwoo thought it was insensitive, and his response to the invite had been nothing but a disgusted face that spelled out ‘no’.

Hanjae watches him move through the living room, greeting some people. Haegon’s been here yesterday, and the day before that, and if Hanjae’s not cautious, he’ll stay over despite their early shooting tomorrow.

“That old man put you on babysitting duty, eh, Hanhan?” Seungsoo leans in to whisper to him, somehow with a drink in hand – white wine. The smell of his cologne is already stuck to the collar of Hanjae’s bottom up by osmosis.

“He’s just concerned. It makes sense to be concerned.”

On their first day back from L.A, Haegon had announced over dinner that he now had a girlfriend: they met last week, and had been dating for three days. The situation had driven Beomseok crazy. Haegon asked if him if wanted to meet her every day for two weeks straight, and he said: no. He eventually got around to meet her and said with even more conviction: no, break up, now.

It’s an age gap, even if very small, but she’s about five years his industry senior, he told Hanjae. And Sunyoung’s from YG Entertainment, the face of too many brands. She’s going to eat him alive, spit him out, leave him heartbroken and Beomseok is going to have to deal with it, and he doesn’t want to have to deal with it.

“She can just like him. People can just like him,” Taesong tried to intervene, high pitched, and Beomseok cutted him off right away, said, “No. No, there’s something– Be serious, Taesong. No.”

The front door dings again, and it takes a long minute for Haegon to untangle his arms from Sunyoung’s waist and let her go get it. Hanjae watches her walk across the house, a firm walk of a supermodel, of someone important, and gets embarrassed with how bad he is at this, how obvious.

Another glimpse her way, and the person with their two feet planted on the ‘welcome home’ carpet is Haruki. He also said he wouldn’t come but gave no excuse, yet: here, dressed nicely. He’s got the same convenience store from years ago under one arm, the one from a memory.

They talk, talk, talk, and he still won’t leave the entrance. Haruki makes her laugh, the most genuine thing Hanjae’s seen Sunyoung do all night. He sees her look at him, look around, then lean closer again: point upstairs and give Haruki a thumbs up as he finally makes his way in, into the stairs and out of sight.

Sunyoung’s back on the couch, to Haegon, and Hanjae makes himself look. They’re fine, they appear very fine, holding hands, he doesn’t have to watch them all night, there’s no need to watch them at all, and–

Hanjae goes up the stairs, which he knows it’s technically off limits. He tries to not let his eyes wander to the photos on the walls, the books on the shelves tucked next to an award behind protective glass, a big shiny plaque framed above it.

There’s only one door with light peeking through, right at the end of the corridor. He taps at it three times, and waits. Another three taps, slightly stronger.

“Occupied,” a voice says from the inside – a tone he knows. “All night.”

Hanjae can’t think of what to say: can’t think of anything at all, for a second. He gives the door another hopeful tap, waits more, and he lets out a sigh of relief when it creeks open. He goes in, closes it quietly behind him, and looks down.

The room’s a bathroom, straight out of a home decoration magazine, all black and white. Haruki seems to be setting up an improv bar on the floor, in the big space between the bathtub and the sink. There’s a bottle of something Hanjae can’t read, blue and half empty, tucked in between his legs like a treasure.

“Ah, you,” he waves at Hanjae’s vague direction, not looking up. “Hello, you. I’m just– Don’t mind the mess. Someone made me something once. ‘Trying to put it together.”

Hanjae hums. He can’t make his hand ease its grip on the doorknob.

It’s been weeks since they abandoned the shoot, and since then Haruki’s been avoiding him constantly. Looks at him from across rooms and seems pained, constantly, and Hanjae hasn’t had the heart to come near.

“What is happening?” Haruki asks, suddenly, and tries to land a smile. He blinks a lot and then not enough looking up at Hanjae. “Down. Down there.”

“Nothing much.”

“How is he?”

“Haegon?” Hanjae asks, and Haruki nods at him loosely, mouths the name without making a sound: ‘Haegon’. “He– Uh, he seems alright.”

“Great couple, yes or no? For our maknae, is she great?”

“I– I don’t know.”

Disappointment flashes vividly through Haruki’s face, and it lands on a sad shagrin. “You don’t know,” he says, to himself, and goes back to emptying his bag with a slouch to his shoulders.

‘Be normal’, Dylan had said that day, his only instructions: ‘Be nice.’

Hanjae lets go of the door and goes to sit in front of him, legs crossed like his are. “What’s it supposed to taste like? The drink.”

There’s no humor in Haruki when he says, “Acid.”

He offers a thermo bottle to Hanjae filled with the failed replica. Hanjae takes a tiny sip and can’t swallow it, feels like his tongue is on fire, and it makes Haruki huff a laugh. “More disgusting than that.”

He makes more combinations that demand more tasting, and Hanjae at times struggles, at times doesn’t – Haruki empties a Soju bottle and refills it with Somaek, calls it ‘Hanjae’s palette cleanser’. He also makes Hanjae go downstairs to grab things they don’t have: more cups, ice and fruit juice, if Sunyoung has any, which she does – too many options.

Hanjae comes back from the trip and sets all his findings at Haruki’s feet, then feels weird about it, exposed about it, and pushes some of it closer to himself.

The bottle opener, they notice a minute later, has disappeared. Hanjae thinks he took it with him to the kitchen and abandoned it on the counter. Worry not, Haruki says; worry not!, because he knows how to open them with his front teeth. It’s a hidden skill, a secret talent.

Haruki asks him to hold a bottle close to his face so he can prove it, and Hanjae does so, but it’s a frail grip, not good. Haruki puts a hand over his to make it steadier, makes it worse. Another hand, a shove closer until their knees are touching. Hanjae adds his free hand into the pile, the lonely hand, and Haruki looks straight at him – looks like he’s saying, ‘Bet?’

It takes a second, really. A pop and the lid comes off in the company of an enormous foam eruption. Haruki gets both his hands away, does a smiley flourish: ‘ta-da!’

“But you shook it! Too much, you–!’ He laughs, and can’t stop laughing. Hanjae’s still holding the bottle and tries to hand it to him, but Haruki shakes his head ‘no’. “For you. It is for you.”

It’s bland beer, he takes notice when he drinks it, but somehow it tastes sweeter.

From the corner of his eyes he catches a glimpse of metal in a corner, and it’s Haruki’s new phone, exiled.

Hanjae is surprised to hear himself ask him, “Are the calls– the calls still coming? The ones from–”

“Always,” Haruki responds, eerily nonchalant. “Always will.”

“It’s not over, then? You still–”

“It is. It is over. It is over the way it can be over.”

“What wouldhe,” Hanjae closes his eyes, reiterates, “If it’s over, what would he still want with you?”

“What do you think,” Haruki asks, staring fixedly at the alcohol going from one bottle to the other. A bit of it it’s running straight to the floor. “What do you think people want with me?”

It’s said– weird. Something in his uncaring tone makes a lump of sadness form in Hanjae’s throat.

“Hyung, you know that, if you everneed to talk to anyone about anything. Me and the guys, we all– We all listen. We would listen.”

“Anything?” Haruki pretends to be impressed. “Big. That is big.”

“Seriously. I’m being serious.”

Haruki looks up at him. Even more alcohol spills to the floor.

“Okay. Okay, anything. Anything…” he hums, dropping the bottles, mimicking being in thought with an obnoxious pout. His mouth is now a purple dot, and his eyes a shiny brown daze...

Hanjae often catches himself wondering if he just knows. If he looks into a mirror and just knows that he’s beautiful in a way that looks hand drawn, that looks meticulously planned: a subject of equal envy and admiration. If Sangwon ever told him that, and if so, how many times, had it come close to enough, had he used the right words to say it, did Haruki believe him when he said it, or if he didn’t – what did it make him feel? What exactly did he make him feel?

Hanjae always thought he was so mean, so bitter. He can’t remember ever hearing him say anything nice to anyone about anything.

Hanjae’s staring, he’s realized, and his eyes hurt. He makes them look down to where Haruki’s got a firm hold around the slim of a bottleneck, tapping a weird rhythm into it, impossible to decipher. He has long fingers with hard skin on them, which isn’t something you would expect. He used to paint, used to do calligraphy; used to go to a prestigious arts academy during high school, all boys.

Hanjae’s still starring, and he’s too close to drunk to properly command himself to stop. He hears Haruki huffs an unheard laugh, suddenly, short and maybe frustrated, maybe not that, and Hanjae’s head snaps up to his face to meet it.

He’s being stared at, too – is being analyzed, too.

“I thought of something. Something I want to say, a thing,” Haruki announces. The grin on his face suddenly looks very, very sharp, like there’s something tugging the corners of his mouth up. “I will whisper to you. On your ear. ‘Gimme your ear and I will tell.”

And with that he comes forward, a sudden and ungracious movement, and doesn’t stop when they’re front to front, an inch apart. He climbs Hanjae up – actually climbs him up, his legs around the middle of his body, cageing him in.

Haruki grims again and it’s lazily, in slow motion. He puts a hand on Hanjae’s chin, tips it high, says, “Not your ear.”

He turns his head to the side. His nose rovers near Hanjae’s head, and Hanjae tries to escape it in reflex, but they’re all too slow, drowned in alcohol.

Into his ear, lips touching skin, Haruki says, “I know you like me. For a very long time. Since that one time. Ever since we went out, we got drunk, that one time.”

“Sorry,” Hanjae mutters, hushed.

“‘Sorry’,” Haruki laughs again, like that’s the funniest word there is, like it’s the meanest. It rings so loud, it has an echo. “Now you sorry?”

Hanjae sinks more into the floor, almost laying down, and Haruki follows, saying, “Are you going away? This close? I am this close, and you going away?”

They’re kissing before Hanjae fully processes how, and it’s a weird kiss at a weird angle; Haruki won’t bend his body all the way down, and Hanjae has to keep craning his neck to meet him midway, his elbows pressing against the tiles, hurting.

He feels a hand slide up his shirt almost immediately, and Hanjae understands, with drunken horror, that he’s being undressed – quickly.

“Ah, wait–” He says, and then can’t get out anything else: Haruki shoved a thumb inside his mouth, in between his teeth, as he goes for the spot where Hanjae’s shoulder and neck meet.

“You smell like home here,” he says, a goosebump. He buries his face there, opens his mouth above it, bites and sucks hard enough to make Hanjae jump – for him to know it’ll leave a pinkish mark, evidence–

It’s exactly then and there that someone bursts in through the door, says a curse loudly, startles the two of them slightly apart, knocks the air out of their lungs.

“Close your eyes! I need to pee right now, right now, close your eyes!”

It’s a tall woman, this one – Hanjae sees her quick rush to the toilet and closes his eyes tight shut.

“If any of you try to act funny and take a single peek, I’ll fucking castrate you both– Hey! Hey, you, back on the floor, don’t come near, I’m fucking serious, I’ll kill you, you fucking–!”

The door clicks shut, and it takes Hanjae a moment to take in the lack of heat above and around him, to correlate the two: Haruki’s gone, walked out, left him.

From the side, he hears an instrident, “Can you at least cover your fucking boner, dude?!”

Hanjae rolls to his side, facing the opposite wall to where the toilet is; he pushes his knuckles into his shut eyes, for good measure. He waits for the girl to finish peeing, and tries not to have an anxiety attack or a heart attack or a nerve attack about everything that happened in the last ten minutes: Haruki on top of him, Haruki no longer on top of him, having to hear a stranger peeing.

“I’m done,” she announces, and he turns back to the same position as before.

There’s little dots of light in his vision, dancing. The girl’s using the sink now, and she has a blonde bob, so blonde and so short. It follows the shape of her mouth and up, even shorter at the back.

“Not a word from you, ever,” she warns, drying her hands on her skirt, pushing it down more, back in place. She gives him a pointed glare that makes Hanjae look down at the state he’s in, at his busted open shirt, a single button in the middle holding it all together. “Not a word from me. Now get the fuck out, please. People need to use the bathroom.”

And she gets going too, without closing the door all the way. The hum of the party downstairs carries over.

Hanjae inhales, looking at the bright ceiling light. His fingers have gone pruney where they were holding him.

[…]

Eventually Hanjae has to get out of the suite, and do a walk of shame back to the housewarming party. He takes down with him all the glass and cups he can manage, not a lot of them, goes straight to the kitchen sink, and begins to wash them, it’s done with them, goes for all of Sunyoung and Yoorim’s dishes.

Around him, the kitchen has emptied out – on the front the living room, mostly emptied out, too, except for little clicks. He spots J.J right in the center of the one installed in the couch, gesticulating enthusiastically, telling someone some story until they make eye contact. He stops, excuses himself, rushes near.

Up close, Jiahang looks at him, up and down, bug eyed, and Hanjae understands he didn’t do a good job of piecing himself back together.

He got a glimpse of his face in the mirror before walking out: lips glossy, bangs far apart and sticking up, somehow, not all the buttons of his shirt tucked in the right cases.

“Hanjae, oh my God. Dylan, Dylan, look!” He calls out, and Hanjae sees Chihoon appear on his left, face slightly dazed. “Oh my God, Dylan! Hanjae!”

“You fucking animal!” Seungsoo, coming out of nowhere, slaps him on the chest hard. “Who? Who who who who?”

They’re all too close, too soon, and Hanjae can’t look anyone in the eyes for too long– he just can’t.

He catches a glimpse of Blonde Bob Piss Girl in a corner, looking bored, on her phone, and stares at her for a moment too long. Everyone follows, looks at her too, and his bandmates erupt into enthusiastic ‘Eeeeeeh!’s. Someone, proprably Seungsoo still, raises his soupy arm up so he can be given high fives, and Hanjae doesn’t know what to do – to let the lie linger or to kill it. What can he even say? What can he say if not that–

Hanjae finds himself grabbing Dylan’s sleeve and tugging at it, leaving behind a damp. He feels like a little kid that broke something, suddenly – overwhelmingly so. “Where ‘d Haruki go?”

“Dude, I didn’t see him. You sure?” Chihoon asks, and Hanjae’s not; he’s not sure.

“Whaaaaat? Haruki came? Haruki’s here?”

“Great. Another one to hunt down. We’re never gonna leave this fucking place in time,” Jiahang whines. “Yoorim noona’s going to delete my number.”

Hanjae asks all of them at once, “We’re leaving?”

“Yeah, you didn’t hear? Sunyoung and Haegon ditched,” Seungsoo says, and Hanjae’s stomach drops. “It’s her house and they ditched, disappeared, poof! Yoorim’s pissed, told everyone to leave. And Taeng’s freaking out! Someone broke his little vase, someone spilled something on him. I think he’s gonna snap. We need to get that freak home.”

“Shit.”

“Yes, Hanjae,” Seungsoo laughs. “Old man was right, after all… Shit.”

[...]

They do a small search around the apartment, the balcony, and conclude: no Haruki anywhere, so they group everyone they have to leave, go wait to be picked up on the sidewalk in front of the Nine One Hannam gates.

“You just dreamed him up, Hanhan! Wouldn’t be the first time,” Seungsoo jokes. It’s a bad joke. O.z shoves him in the chest hard about it, tells him, “Quiet.”

Hanjae looks straight ahead, not at them. In front of him J.J keeps bouncing on the wheel of his feet, saying, ‘I’m going in the front, I’m passenger seat, forget it, it’s me me me me,’ even though no one’s putting up a fight about it.

Minwoo pulls up soon enough on the curve in one of the two black company vans, and downs the window just to give them all an open scowl, then a frown. “I’m only seeing seven of you.”

J.J circles the car to get to the front door, struggles a little to get it open. “Hyung, you’re not gonna believe.”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Jiahang.”

“Shut up, you do. You really really really really do. You were–,” and then he becomes aware of the slouched figure of Hanjae trailing behind him, turns and frowns. “What did I just say!”

“No, I’m…” Hanjae looks at Minwoo looking at him, one eyebrow raised, says, “Sorry.”

Minwoo pinches at his nose, hard. “Just get in the goddamn car, Hanjae, Jesus Christ.”

Hanjae thinks, out of everyone who has a driver’s license, Minwoo drives the shittiest. He needs glasses, he never wears them, he grumbles curses at every slow driver and every rush driver and every driver, in general.

On the way home, he stops the van only once, by popular demand. Taesong steps out to vomit, and spends the rest of the ride jittery about it, cracking his knuckles even when they make no sound.

“We’re so fucked,” Chihoon says when they park inside the dorm’s garage, rubbing his eyes. “It’s 3AM. We’re so fucked.��

While everyone rushes to their rooms to piece pajamas together and form a long row to shower, Hanjae’s elbow to elbow with Dylan, going up the stairs to the second floor as quietly as they can.

He and Haruki have, by far, the best room in the whole house: spacious, with a nice window. It used to be Haruki and Sangwon’s up until he got fired – some excuse about rooming with the manager to learn Korean quicker, about making sure Haruki wouldn’t sneak beer into his room. It makes Hanjae sick now, seeing it, standing so close to it.

Dylan tries the handle once, and the door doesn’t budge, only makes a stubborn click – locked.

Hanjae dries his hand on his jeans, still wet, somehow, asks him, “Is he– He’s in there? Or…?”

Chihoon rests his head against the mahogany and sort of sighs, sort of laughs. “Yeah, definitely home. He’s the only one with the key to lock me out. Classic. Just classic.”

“Get my bed,” Hanjae says – implores. “Use mine, you can– mine, I’ll couch.”

“You’ll couch?” Chihoon looks at him with the trembling smile of someone who’s about to laugh. It falls off his face quickly when he takes in the guilt Hanjae knows he’s wearing openly on his face.

“Hyung, I–” It’s out of his mouth before Hanjae even knows it. “Tonight, something – Something has happened, and I think, think I should– say.”

Dylan’s giving him an analytical once over, and he stops at his moving hands, on his marked neck, looks at the door again – locked.

“Hanjae,” he says his name like it’s an insult, and for a moment Hanjae feels like it really is – his name, an insult.

He crumbles. “I’m sorry, so, so sorry, we just– I didn’t mean to– It was just, just a kiss, I think, and I– I–”

“You kissed him?! ‘You think’? What does that mean? What do you mean ‘you think’?!”

Hanjae looks around and then down, behind him. “Dylan…” he manages, airy, and doesn’t know what he wants the rest of the phrase to be, where he’s trying to take it.

Chihoon’s mouth hangs open, a painful disbelief, and then slowly shuts.

“You know what,” he says harshly, but not angrily – he sounds more disappointed than anything, more tired than anything. “I don’t want to know. Not now. I’ll know, just– Not now. But fucking Hell, Hanjae, you. You just had to, didn’t you? You saw an opportunity and you just had to.”

Hanjae’s breath catches. Dylan is a figure in his eyes, growing blurry.

“I’m taking your bed,” he announces. ”Eveytime he kicks me out from this day on, I’m sleeping on your bed.”

He storms off, his bare feet on the floor a sound until it isn’t anymore.

Hanjae knocks on the door, a small tap. Nothing.

He thinks of saying it again: sorry. But no one’s around to hear it, no one’s around to accept it. There’s no point.

#fictional idol community #fake kpop group #kpop au #kpop fanfic #kpop oc #&& ⠀ [ . . . ] hound on a hunt ⠀⸻ writing .#&& ⠀ [ . . . ] hound on a hunt ⠀⸻ haruki .#&& ⠀ [ . . . ] hound on a hunt ⠀⸻ hanjae .#&& ⠀ [ . . . ] hound on a hunt ⠀⸻ dylan .

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justforbooks · 12 days

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CJ Sansom

Lawyer turned novelist who enjoyed huge success with his bestselling Shardlake historical mysteries

The novelist CJ Sansom, who has died aged 71, saw the dream of many aspiring writers come true when in mid-career he swapped a routine occupation for the life of a widely acclaimed, chart-topping novelist. By 2020, the former lawyer’s Shardlake historical mysteries had sold almost 4m copies. He built up a fan-base vast enough to guarantee that a new title would enter the UK bestseller charts at number one.

Sansom’s switch, however, was no lucky break but the fruit of deep thought, hard work and struggle against stiff odds. He overcame the blight of intense early suffering to create a much-loved series of novels conspicuous for their intelligence, integrity and humanity. An underlying idealism united the two, very different, halves of his professional life.

His debut novel Dissolution (2003) introduced the hunchbacked Tudor lawyer Matthew Shardlake, who investigates a death at a Sussex monastery menaced by the assault on England’s religious orders led by Henry VIII’s chief minister, Thomas Cromwell. Over the next decade, further Shardlake titles appeared, and succeeded, at regular intervals: Dark Fire (2004), which won the Crime Writers’ Association award for historical fiction, Sovereign (2006), Revelation (2008), Heartstone (2010) and Lamentation (2014), with a plot set in the paranoid, heresy-hunting atmosphere of London during the final act of Henry VIII’s reign.

Set in London, Sussex, Norwich, Portsmouth and York, the books map not just the topographies but the mentalities of mid 16th-century England. They indirectly mirror, too, the political ferments of Sansom’s own age: Heartstone sees a spin-obsessed king unleash a disastrous foreign war. The seventh Shardlake novel, Tombland, its writing delayed by the author’s serious illness, appeared in 2018.

He claimed that the character of Shardlake, the Lincoln’s Inn lawyer disfigured from childhood, dropped into his head “fully formed”. Shardlake finds himself reluctantly immersed in the cruel and devious political intrigues of the 1530s and 40s. He remains a reflective outsider who seeks to help those bruised or crushed by the upheavals of an age of tumult. His disability gives him solidarity with outcast people.

In an interview, Sansom once spoke of the depression left by his early anguish as “the monkey on my back all my life”. The connection with his series hero could hardly be clearer.

Shardlake is both a man of his times – all the books rest on a bedrock of thorough, sometimes original, historical research – and a credible proxy for the 21st-century reader in the dogma-driven era of Henry VIII and his heirs. Sceptical, curious, free-thinking, he has sympathy with the Protestant reformers but feels alienated from the savage realpolitik practised by his patron, Cromwell.

Shardlake dwells in a sharply rendered, richly detailed Tudor England but stands outside it by virtue of his inquisitive, open-minded humanism. “I’m not saying a man like Shardlake did exist then,” Sansom commented, “but he could have, where even 20 years earlier he couldn’t.”

Born in Edinburgh, Chris was the son of a Scottish mother, Ann, and English father, Trevor, a naval engineer. An only child, he remembered his upbringing as Presbyterian, constrained and conservative (“with a small and a capital C”). Later, this private man who shunned attention-seeking gestures would nonetheless emerge as a vehement opponent of Scottish nationalism – part of his general distrust of any “politics based on national identity”, which he found “anti-rational, demagogic” and always destructive.

His Shardlake novels depict the dilemmas and ordeals that face a sensitive, compassionate man in a brutal and treacherous society. Sansom’s own, formative experience of persecution and survival under a despotic system took place at school. At the elite George Watson’s college in south Edinburgh, he endured sustained bullying that left him on the brink of suicide. Much later, he revealed that his “inattention” – which today might be diagnosed as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) – had made him the scapegoat of “vicious” teachers and pupils alike.

He described his school-age self as “seriously mentally ill: completely isolated … consumed with rage, plagued by migraines and tormented by thoughts of suicide and burning down the school”. At the age of 15, he took a “massive” overdose of his mother’s sleeping pills. Despite, or perhaps because of, this teenage misery, he developed a profound interest in history, politics and the workings of state power that would fuel both wings of his career. While still young, he recalled, “I arrived in my head at a sort of radical, independent socialist position which … I’ve basically retained.”

Sansom’s harrowing schooldays led to a spell as a voluntary in-patient at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. “I think the staff there saved my life,” he remembered, “just as Watson’s almost destroyed it.”

At Birmingham University he studied history as an undergraduate, then stayed on to research a PhD on mid-century Labour party policy towards South Africa. Rather than continue with academia, however, he qualified as a solicitor and spent much of the 1980s and 90s devoted to legal aid work, seeking to help vulnerable people. Living in Brighton, he attended writers’ groups as a hobby but never considered literature as a means to earn his living.

In 2000, his father’s death left him with a small legacy. He decided, without much hope, to try his hand at full-time fiction, though allowed for the possibility that: “I would be back in the law within the year.”

To his surprise, Dissolution rapidly found an agent. Publishers bid eagerly for the title (with Pan Macmillan becoming his UK home). Inspired in part by Umberto Eco’s The Name of the Rose, it reached two prize shortlists, and won over not only crime-fiction fans but a broad span of readers fascinated by the Tudor period and the distant mirror it holds up to our own fragmented times. Sansom had discovered, as he said, “how like the 20th century it was in its anxiety and uncertainty, even though people thought so differently then”.

Dissolution preceded Hilary Mantel’s Wolf Hall by six years in its portrayal of Cromwell and his circle – although Sansom’s chief minister is a much darker figure than Mantel’s. Among authors of historical mysteries set in medieval or early-modern England, he became a rare male luminary in a genre dominated by women, from pioneers such as Ellis Peters (Edith Pargeter) to Sansom’s contemporaries, such as Susanna Gregory.

Over the next decade, the Shardlake titles became regular fixtures in the bestseller lists. Adapted versions for BBC Radio extended the books’ appeal, even though Sansom – who continued to live in Brighton – experienced more than a touch of imposter syndrome. “I still half expect to wake up in a meeting about the latest legal aid forms,” he once said.

His mass-market popularity won him some unlikely fans. Shortly before she resigned in 2019, the then prime minister Theresa May bizarrely inaugurated a miniature library (housed in a redundant phone box) in her constituency by donating her copy of one of Sansom’s books. No figure, and no event, could have been worse suited to a writer who believed in a properly-funded public sector and detested the politics of nationalism and xenophobia.

Sansom’s two non-Tudor novels proved the breadth of his talent: Winter in Madrid (2006), with its accomplished depiction of a captive nation, set in the Spanish capital during the gloomy aftermath of Franco’s victory in the civil war, and the remarkable Dominion (2012), which reanimates the hackneyed genre of counterfactual history with its chillingly believable account of Britain as a satellite state of Nazi Germany in 1952. “Given the right circumstances fascism can infest any country,” a character in Dominion remarks.

That novel presents Scottish nationalists as accomplices of fascism and ends with an afterword that excoriates the policies of the (actual) Scottish National party. In all Sansom’s books, history’s convulsions test thinking people who try to stay decent and honest in tough times. He acknowledged that he had “found myself particularly drawn to the moral dilemmas the literate classes often find themselves in at times of ideological conflict – whether Reformation England or the second world war”.

In 2012, Sansom was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, an incurable bone-marrow cancer, and began to receive chemotherapy. Lamentation followed two years later, but medical treatment inevitably slowed his pace of work.

Yet the voluminous Tombland, published in 2018, proved one of the most richly imagined and researched of all his Tudor mysteries. Shardlake is caught up in the wave of rebellions that shake the realm of the boy-king Edward VI in 1549: “A colossal event that has been much underplayed”, in the author’s words. The typically scholarly essay attached to the book framed this emphasis on poor and marginal people as an overdue antidote to “the ‘royalisation’ of popular Tudor history”.

Sansom lived quietly in Brighton, on his own, and worked with a fierce dedication. Illness put a brake on his output but never doused his determination. He avoided the limelight, and once listed among his pet hates Facebook, Twitter and Christmas – as well as the “really ridiculous” television series, The Tudors.

In 2023 Sovereign, the third Shardlake novel, was staged by York Theatre Royal as a large-scale community production at King’s Manor, York, where much of the novel is set. A four-part television adaptation, Shardlake, directed by Justin Chadwick with Arthur Hughes as the eponymous lawyer and Sean Bean as Cromwell, is due to be screened on Disney+ this week.

A good man in trying times, his Shardlake became a firm friend to countless admirers. Erudite but approachable, his creator spoke engagingly about his work in a voice that bore soft traces of an Edinburgh upbringing. Above all, the one-time solicitor ceased never to explore the meaning of justice – or to tell timeless truths about power and its victims.

🔔 Christopher John Sansom, novelist and lawyer, born 9 December 1952; died 27 April 2024

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

#just for books #CJ Sansom #in memoriam

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klaineccfanficlibrary · 1 year

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Klaine Summer Bingo: June - August 2023

We are pleased to announce the Klaine Fanfiction Bingo, a new way to celebrate and promote those stories completed in the past five years that readers love. Please reblog this post so that we can reach out to everyone in our fandom.

THE BINGO CARD

Add Klaine Fanfics to your Bingo Card that were completed after May 30, 2018 (i.e. within the last five years) and posted to AO3. The Bingo card has the following categories:

Debut Fanfic - the author completed posting after May 30 2018 and it was their first Klaine fanfic.

Page-turning Fanfic that made you stay up past your bedtime.

Fanfic that made you reach for a box of tissues.

Fanfic where one has an unusual occupation.

Wild Card - any fanfic you wish to highlight.

Fanfic set during the summer.

Fanfic is written for a challenge. For example, it could be the Advent Challenge, the Klaine Valentine's Challenge, or one of the many hosted by @the-lima-bean.

Fanfic that made you laugh out loud.

Fanfic that you enjoyed using a genre/trope that you don't normally read.

HOW IT WORKS

When you have completed as much of the Bingo card as you wish, submit an ask to the library with the title and author for each category (no need to provide the link). Please number them 1-9. Submissions will always remain anonymous. You can submit more than one Bingo card, although a fanfic will only show up once for each category.

We will add the Klaine fanfic to our AO3 collection as the Bingo cards are received. Once a week, we will blog the post providing a hyperlink to each category.

TIMING

We will accept Bingo cards from June 1 - August 31 2023.

QUESTIONS?

See this post for FAQs. Alternatively, send us an ask if you have any questions or comments.

Thanks for playing!

Lynne, HKVoyage, Marjan, and Jen

P.S. HERE is the link to the 2023 Klaine Bingo Collection

#Klaine fic #Klaine fanfic #Klaine fanfiction #2023 Klaine Bingo #glee fanfiction #signal boost

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