#...not our Batman !
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tim with a knife in his hands: damian, step away from the computer
damian reading superbat fanfiction on tim’s personal laptop: i wanted to play roblox, but this is adequate writing, are you in need of a beta reader by chance?
#damian: i made art as well#tim: i don’t know how i feel about you drawing mild nudity of our dad and his friends#damian; grow a pair - a bicep is not nudity - and besides you wrote it#dc#tim drake#damian wayne#bruce wayne#clark kent#red robin#robin#batman#superman#batfam#batbros#superbat
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Batfam AU where Jason never dies, so Tim doesn't join the family the standard way. Instead, he continues pouring most of his time and energy into his photography, eventually becoming known as a popular photographer for events and all that. So now, picture this:
Tim gets hired to be a photographer for a Wayne gala. Obviously, he's ecstatic, because he can take pictures of Batman, Robin and Nightwing and be in their presence for a whole night. Since Tim is so naturally talented in stealth and taking pictures unnoticed, the second one of the fam realises this they're like: this kid is good.
Tim manages to go unnoticed by all 3 of them (all bat-trained, one literally batman) multiple times during the night, and even when he is noticed, he disappears before they can manage to get a good look at him; to the sheer amazement of Dick and Jason.
Jason, (very discreetly putting snacks in his suit pocket): i know you're under the table, kid.
Tim: don't mind me, Mr. Todd-Wayne, sir, just taking a few pictures
Jason: right... Jason's fine, and what pictures were you taking from under the table?!
Tim, showing him perfectly good shots of him: these.
Jason: how did you get that. it looks like you took it from the rafters
Tim, nodding: I did.
Jason, glancing at the ceiling: ...what?
Tim, gone:
Jason: no fucking way.
Dick, hearing a very, very faint camera shutter from behind him:
Dick, turning around and finding no one there: what the actual...
Dick, getting the feeling of being watched and whirling around to find Tim staring at him from across the room: ... huh.
Jason, pulling Dick aside: you see that kid too, right?!
Dick, nodding: the camera kid, yeah?
Jason: who is that.
Dick: he's one of the hired photographers, apparently. one of the best in his field, despite his age.
Jason: he's good. like, really good. snuck up on me 4 times already, the little bastard.
Dick: you too? i swear he's constantly watching. it's creepy how well he can sneak past both of us.
Jason:
Dick:
Jason: you don't think...
Dick: no. B would've told us.
Jason:
Dick:
Dick: did he get another kid and not tell us somehow
Bruce: what do you mean another kid?
Jason: you heard us. did you adopt another kid and not tell us?!
Bruce: no?? how would I even?? ... what's this about?
Dick: one of the photographers has managed to sneak up on both me and Jay multiple times already
Bruce: what.
Jason: he also can't be more than like. 15 or 16. so forgive us for assuming you took another one in.
Bruce: do you know his name?
Dick:
Jason:
Bruce: really?
Dick: in our defence, he's very hard to catch. i wouldn't be surprised if he's snuck up on you, too.
[camera shutter noise]
All of them, whipping their heads toward the sound only to find nothing but air:
Tim, smiling from the other side of the room:
Jason: do you see what we mean?!
Cue an entire night of shenanigans where it's just Dick, Jason and Bruce trying to catch Tim and learn about him. Upon finding out who he is and where he lives, Dick immediately asks to keep him as an honorary member of the family. Jason is hesitant at first but at some point Tim calls Bruce Batman instead of Mr. Wayne on accident and Jason laughs so hard he's basically won over. Bruce can do nothing but watch as Tim proceeds to come over almost every night for sleepovers and is coddled by both of his sons. And he can't deny, the kid's investigation and stealth skills are top tier. By the time Dick and Jason both start referring to Tim as 'their younger brother' Bruce has just accepted his fate.
#batfam#batman#dc comics#tim drake#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#batfam au#dick: look he's even got the dark hair and blue eyes#jason: he fits the pattern. you gotta#dick to tim: you are ours now#tim who just wanted to spend time with his heroes: oh#they declare him as theirs so he is theirs#bruce does not get a choice#he is THEIR little stalker#when jason finds out that tim follows them as vigilantes too he falls over laughing#dick wiping a tear away: he's perfect
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Danny’s Wayne adoption bait. The guy that owns the bodega knows it. Everyone and their mothers knows it. Danny, on the other hand, had no clue. To be fair, he had just crash landed in this dimension a week ago and his back was still sore from the weird design the car had.
(It’s only three weeks of homelessness later does Danny realize that he crash landed on the Batmobile. Whoops. Oh well. He’ll blame it on Clockwork if the vigilante asks after repair costs.)
(Bruce, on the other hand, is scouring the streets for this kid the car cams caught- oddly static filled footage- because his mind jumped to the worst case scenarios: a suicidal meta or a meta being threatened or a meta in a trafficking scheme or even worse all three at once and Bruce just can’t because there is a child in danger, he doesn’t have time to sleep.)
Danny rubbed at his back, eyes going watery at the memory. Sure, his wounds have healed over by now but the- heh- phantom pain is no joke. He shuddered, huddling closer to his threadbare hoodie. His only saving grace from getting jumped while walking the streets of Gotham at night is his invisibility and intangibility. Also, he’s floating, so “walking” doesn’t apply to him.
He’s gotta check on the kid he saved yesterday from a mugging, so Danny hurried along to the depilated apartment complex the kid was squatting in. Turning visible and tangible as he turns the corner, Danny glanced around for Amy.
“Danny!”
“Hey, kiddo. Doing alright?”
“Yeah! Come meet my gang!”
Danny felt his eyebrows rise to form Jazz’s exasperated look. Ouch. Waving the pain of losing Jazz away, Danny smiled at the excited girl.
“A gang? I wasn’t aware I was being brought to your almighty group.”
“Yeah! Uh, you actually helped a bunch of us so…”
Danny thought back to all those times he punted crooks away from robbing kids and shrugged. Yeah, what Amy said was likely.
“Kay, kiddo.”
She scowled, and Danny didn’t have the heart to tell her it looked more like a pout.
“You’re just a teenager.”
“Well, you’re a just a kid.”
Danny cackled as she chased him down the street, trying to kick his shins.
Life is good, even if he’s homeless and hungry.
——
“Jason.”
“Old man.” Jason mocks back, pausing his tasks. He waits as Bruce struggles to put his thoughts and feelings into words.
“There’s… a meta.”
“In Gotham?” Jason tilts back, hands halfway to his guns as a silent offer. Bruce shakes his head.
“A child. In Crime Alley.”
“In my turf?” Jason’s disquieting demeanor quickly swapped to a protective one.
“Trafficking, I think. Male, black hair…”
“Shit. Get Dickwing back here, he’s good with traumatized kids. I’ll go look for him.” Jason’s already moving, mind filtering through the kids he knows might have information to offer.
Bruce nods, shoulders relaxing. Jason smacks down the lump in his throat at the subtle sing of trust. “I’ll get Oracle and Red Robin on it.”
Jason morphs from Jay to Red Hood in one smooth step, helmet firmly placed on his head. He grunts in agreement, slinging his legs over his motorcycle. He roars off, mind half filled with tearing apart whatever traffickers dared to shit near his territory and the other half filled with worry for this possible kid.
——
Danny, as the Bats become aware of his existence, hands Amy and her kiddie gang a bag of fancy beef jerky.
“Try these with peanut butter, it’s kind of good.”
Amy stares at him, the judgement of an eight year old more piercing than anything he’s ever experienced.
“You’re fucking weird-”
“Language!” He squawks.
“-but sure, whatever you say, boss.”
“Boss?!”
The kids ignores his alarmed face.
#danny phantom#batman#dc x dp#bruce wayne#Danny had minions#Danny saved a bunch of kids from two face and now they’ve imprinted on him#like ducklings#Danny: I’ll have a nice vacation#also Danny: fights a villain and saves like a dozen kids#Danny: unionizes the kiddie gangs via peanut butter and beef jerky#Batman: there is a child#red hood: that needs our help!#dc x dp crossover#dp x dc#Danny dents the Batmobile and leaves an IOU#but doesn’t leave the owner a way to contact him
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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
#dpxdc#batpham#i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e#immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot#after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along#my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom#and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan#(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets#dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp#they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny#duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone#everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him#damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but#2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers#(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha#spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha#anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun#i wanna make these slides so bad
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Batman & Robin
dir. Joel Schumacher | 1997
#batman and robin#batmanedit#dcedit#dcladies#filmedit#filmgifs#userteri#usertennant#usersugar#usermars#userlily#underbetelgeuse#userconstance#userveronika#uma thurman#poison ivy#pamala isley#ours#by diana
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Favourite thing in batfam fics is when Jason’s siblings look at him expecting their dork of a brother, grouchy but lovable butt-monkey of many a family in joke, and instead see a cold unflinching face, and for just a second remember this guy once seized Gotham by the throat.
#jason todd#dc#red hood#batman#batfam#its the switch#from jason the grump#to the red hood#and the implied ‘…he’s changed now of course’#‘but thank goodness he’s on our side’
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Danny was...unnerved, which is unusual considering his upbringing as the child of mad scientists obsessed with the undead.
It had been a few weeks since he had moved into Wayne manor after a conflict between batman and his parents, which led to his home and his friends and family being blown up in a lab malfunction. Most of Amity Park was destroyed in the blasts, including Vlad and his mansion.
Usually Danny would be more suspicious of super rich dudes, but the sorrow in Bruce Wayne's eyes as he pleaded to let Danny take him in was genuine and well, Danny didn't exactly have anywhere else to go. Plus, Bruce looked weirdly guilty when danny told him none of this was his fault, which was weird. Jazz was in college and always looked exhausted on video calls, so he didn't want to bother her there.
The part that bothered him most wasn't that there was anything dangerous or bad happening, but rather the opposite.
Danny was used to dodging his home security system when it randomly targeted him. He was used to ghosts popping up out of nowhere to suckerpunch him. He was used to danger.
And now that there was none, he was jumping at shadows.
Things got better when he met Psaro. He was in the process of being either mugged or kidnapped, he wasn't sure, when this angry goth teen with silver hair and ruby eyes literally came in swinging a steel chair. After the beat down and subsequent rescue, Danny offered to buy them some food. Psaro tried to reject the offer until his stomach suddenly growled, making him blush, and Danny dragged the older goth teen to a restaurant.
They've been best friends since. Psaro later introduced him to his friends Rose and Toilen, explaining that they weren't from this world and that Rose was an elf and Toilen was a Teran from a planet called Terrestria. Danny assumed that Psaro was an elf like Rose due to them both having long pointed ears and mostly focused on Toilen thanks to the "other planet" bit.
Meanwhile, the bats have been keeping an eye out on Danny (aka stalking him) and his new, obviously magical friends.
#dpxdc#prompts#dragon quest#dragon quest monsters#fanfiction prompts#danny fenton#danny phantom#batman#bruce wayne#bruce has regrets and blames himself for the death of dannys loved ones#psaro the manslayer#was anyone going to tell me that Psaros last name is apparently Banesword or was i supposed to read that online myself#the hero and his party are still wanting to murder our little pouty goth baby and i will not stand for it#the bats see how paranoid danny is and heard him talking about the nightmare security system and all that so theyre overprotective of him#them finding out Psaro is a teenage demon lord either isnt going to go over well or he gets adopted
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do you think they sensed mcr releasing new music before it happened
#they were preparing our society for the emo renaissance#the batman#bruce wayne#our flag means death#ofmd#edward teach#blackbeard#mcr#my chemical romance#1k#5k#10k
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He had known, bone-deep, that he could not depend on anyone else. Now, it feels like the world has blossomed out around him. Around all of them. There is a future, now. There are people who care.
Now, Damian feels like every inhale goes deeper, and every exhale leaves more behind.
#fic rec#EXTREMELY DARK FIC BEWARE#According to Our Lightbyrambles#tim drake#damian wayne#reverse robin au#batman#now serving: angst#this one OUCH#seriously beware the tags#:(
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Clark being annoying in the Marvel universe after getting accidentally transported there: well MY billionaire vigilante would never do this—
#tony: shut up about how upstanding and moral bstman is#Steve: wow this Batman guy sure seems like a good guy#Bruce: wow a Bruce who’s crazier than me nice#Natasha: he’s totally in love with him#Clint: brute?#Thor: I will challenge him to an arm wrestle on our Bruce’s honor#bruce wayne#batman#dc#superbat#clark kent#superman#clearing out OLD drafts#remember when I wrote dc/marvel crossovers?#sadly I do
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I wonder how many times Clark and the batkids + Alfred revived Bruce with the Lazarus Pit and just never told him abt it
#he pieces it together later but i mean. its so hard for him to miss now that hes looking back at it#like why is he always always always cold with a turtleneck on and heating blasting#why is his appetite so scarce? how come his sleep deprived body withstands hours - sometimes DAYS - of patrol#and functions perfectly? how come time passes by but he stays the same? why wont clark and dick stop giving gim#*him looks of loving grief?#why does harley slam her fists on her head when she sees him? ' no no no you're gone. you're GONE. I KNOW you are!'#why does selina smile at him with such heavy pity ' sorry bruce. i don't do ghosts'#bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#batman#batfamily#clark kent#dick grayson#jason todd#bc they def exclude the cloning. they dont want another bruce. they want THEIR bruce. tim#like can you imagine jason getting up in tim's face and just ' if you're not gonna stand by us then stay out of our way'#dark bruce? tired. dark BATKIDS? sign me the FUCK up#batdad#text
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Jason: *sneaks into titans tower to kick some robin ass*
Tim: *hurt/crying/sleeping/sick/etc*
*all Ao3 writers collectively* Jason:
#since yall loved the other one i made#omg look at me i made a meme#i love these fics so much#jason just realizing the tim is a LITERAL child#then cursing bruce out for not knowing tim was in bad shape#we love#protective jason todd#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#robin#timdrake!robin#batman#batfam#batfamily#dc comics#dc#ao3#archive of our own#meme#batman meme
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healing my inner child by becoming huperfixated on the batfam and finally making peace with my need for a found family
#and now i wont shut up about them#you cant take away my emotional support vigilante family#They're all i have#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#bruce wayne#batman#dc batman#batfam#batfamily#ao3#archive of our own#comics#fandom#dc robin#dc nightwing#dc red hood#dc red robin#nightwing#red hood
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IM SO MAD AT THIS MAN RIGHT NOW. THEY ARE YOU SONS!!!!
#also dick finding out about jason and losing it#jason todd#batman#dick grayson#tim drake#also the asshole leave damian behind#the only one who was supporting him#damian wayne#also tim hugging damian at the end and telling him we save our dad got me crying
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The members of the Justice League sat in silence, joined by a few members of Justice League Dark.
They were almost ready to start their meeting.
Almost.
"Where is John Constantine?" Batman stared at those gathered around the table, one spot currently vacant. Zatanna spoke up. "He's coming."
Batman narrowed his eyes.
"I don't know how," Zatanna nodded. "But he's coming."
The table was silent for a few moments, before Superman hesitantly spoke up. "Maybe he's running late?" At Batman's look Superman felt the need to add. "You know, he could've gotten stuck up with another magic user, or something."
Superman brought a hand up to rub at his neck as he laughed awkwardly, before promptly shutting up at the look Batman sent with an even more awkward smile. The silence was notably loud, such that it made it quite easy to determine who and where the sound of crunching came from.
Flash swallowed. "What?" He dug his hand in the bag of chips, only to pout at it being empty. He quickly ran from and to his seat in, well, a flash. Laying down his armful of chips, he picked up one and opened it, back to stuffing his face. "It's not like we're starting yet or anything."
Batman's eyes narrowed.
Flash blinked, looking down at the chips in his hand, the one on the table, and then back at Batman. He picked one up and held it out in his direction. "Want one?"
Batman glared.
Flash hesitantly brought his hand back down, before sticking his hand in his chip bag and eating some more, this time quietly.
Minutes passed by with the various League members gathered around sitting ramrod straight. A few more minutes passed, and they started to relax (except batman), a couple more and some of them started up conversation with each other, with some others joining in.
Batman took the time to work through a few files, giving the occasional grunt and hm whenever Superman and Wonder Woman tried to drag him into their conversation.
It was then that a noticeable heat spread inside the room, rising in temperature with each passing second until it was no longer ignorable. Just then, when the heat reached its highest point, with the members of the League already standing from their seats, a wave of black flame appeared in a circular pattern and the League tensed, magic gathering at the fingertips of some and battle stances being fallen into by others.
The circular flame shot up, high enough to reach the ceiling and not a second later, in its place was a giant mass of flaming feathers curled into a ball.
A groan came from the middle of it, and a few seconds later-with what sounded like a huff- did the mass uncurl just enough to see the owner of said groan.
"Ello." John Constantine raised a hand and gave a two fingered salute. Everyone in the room blinked at the man currently leaning against the- creature? Being?- in just pants. "I would say this isn't what it looks like, but its exactly what it looks like."
Zatanna's eyes narrowed, before she inhaled sharply. "Constantine." She hissed out quietly, as if trying not to draw the being's attention. "What is-" She gestured at the creature. "-He of all beings doing here?!"
"Being used as a living heater."
Zatanna blinked again in surprise as she stumbled over her words. "I- what-?"
"You heard me. It's colder than Santa's tits in our house, and I'm not paying even more money for a heater when I have a living one right here." Constantine deadpanned, very shamelessly sinking back into the mass of feathers behind him and giving a most certainly exaggerated sigh to prove his point.
"But- But he's," Zatanna gestures at the phoenix again, this time with both hands. "Him. How are you okay with this!?" That time she spoke to the phoenix, rather than Constantine.
The being in question peeked open an eye, before huffing in annoyance and closing back its eye.
"So uh," Flash spoke up, rubbing his hands together. "Not to interrupt, but uh, do you mind explaining for the rest of us not in the know?"
Zatanna blinked, staring at the other League members in surprise as if she forgot they were there. She awkwardly coughed into her fist. "Right, yes." She cleared her throat, before gesturing towards the giant mass of feathers. "That being is one of the more infamous of those heralding from the Infinite Realms, because that's its goddamn Duke." Zatanna rubbed her head, as if she were getting a migraine just thinking about it. "Constantine, how did you even-"
"We met on a rainy night, and he lit up my cig and proposed his love for me." Constantine said simply.
The League stared in bafflement. Zatanna had a skeptical look all over her face. "I'm not believing that. It's too much of a stretch, even for you."
Constantine shrugged. "Okay so would you believe me if I said I sold like half my soul and conned this other guy by swearing my soul to this big guy for his protection?" Constantine deadpanned.
"Yes, actually." Zatanna matched Constantine's deadpan with a look of her own.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dcxdp#Unknown to literally everyone else#The first sentence Constantine said was actually the truth#The other one is a bold face lie#My crackship might not exactly be just a joke anymore...#Everyone else didn't notice how Constantine said Our instead of his#Except Batman.#He likes to hyperfocus on miniscule details for some reason
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Batman Returns
dir. Tim Burton | 1992
#Batman Returns#dcedit#filmedit#filmgifs#dcfilms#dcladies#userteri#usertennant#userlily#userconstance#useraurore#underbetelgeuse#usersameera#userlukeskywalker#miatendos#selena kyle#michelle pfeiffer#ours#by diana
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