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naushtheaspiringauthor · 3 months

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~Child Of The Storm~

Nikolai Lantsov x OC

Image by - @brokendreamtale2

Warnings- none

A/N- lemme know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist!

Taglist- @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @sirisuorionblack @nadeleine123n @marauders-wife

Ch-46 ~Plots within plots~

“I’ll ask you again, priest. What is this? Why are my friends in custody? Why are they bleeding?” Alina asked, brimming with anger

“These are not your friends. A plot has been discovered to bring the White Cathedral down around our very ears.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You saw the boy’s insolence today-”

“Is that the problem? He doesn’t tremble properly in your presence?” Alina’s voice began to rise

“The issue here is treason!” He drew a small canvas pouch from his robes and held it out, letting it dangle from his fingers.

“Blasting powders, made by this Fabrikator filth with materials gathered by your supposed friends.” he spoke

“So David made blasting powders. There could be a hundred reasons for that.”

“Weapons are forbidden within the White Cathedral.”

Alina arched a brow at the rifles pointed at them. “And what are those? Ladles? If you’re going to make accusations—”

“Their plans were overheard. Stand forward, Tamar Kir-Bataar. Speak the truth you’ve discovered.”

Tamar bowed deeply. “The Grisha and the tracker planned to drug you and take you to the surface.”

“I want to return to the surface.” Alina spoke, her words brimming with resentment

“The blasting powders would have been used to ensure that no one followed,” she continued, “to bring down the caverns on the Apparat and your flock.”

“Hundreds of innocent people? Mal would never do that. None of them would. And it doesn’t make any sense. Just how were they supposed to drug me?”

Tamar nodded to Genya and the tea that sat beside them.

“I drink that tea myself,” Genya snapped. “It isn’t laced with anything.”

“She is an accomplished poisoner and liar,” Tamar replied coldly. “She has betrayed you to the Darkling before.”

Genya’s fingers clenched around her shawl. We both knew there was truth in the charge.

“You trust her,” Tamar said..

“They were only waiting to stockpile enough blasting powder,” said the Apparat. “Then they intended to strike, to take you aboveground and give you up to the Darkling.”

Alina shook her head. “You really expect me to believe that Mal would hand me over to the Darkling?”

“He was a dupe,” said Tolya quietly. “He was so desperate to free you that he became their pawn.”

She glanced at Mal.

”And what about her?” her gaze suddenly turned to Anaya. “She helped me escape the Darkling”

“They’ve all succumbed to his power. They are frightened by what he did. They fear him, and have thus given up their loyalty to him” the Apparat spoke

Alina furrowed her brows at Anaya but she refused to meet her gaze

“Plots within plots,” the Apparat hissed . “You have a soft heart, and it has betrayed you.”

“No, none of this makes sense.”

“They are spies and deceivers!”

She pressed her fingers to her temples. “Where are my other Grisha?”

“They have been contained until they can be properly questioned.”

“Tell me they are unharmed.”

“See this concern for those who would wrong her?” he asked of the Priestguards. “This is what marks her kindness, her generosity.” His gaze locked on Alina’s. “There are some injuries, but the traitors will have the best of care. You need only say the word.”

“Release them,” She commanded.

The Apparat shook his head, his expression full of sorrow. “Our Saint is being weakened by those who claim to love her. See how frail she is, how sickly. This is the corruption of their influence.”

A few of the Priestguards nodded

“She is a Saint, but also a young girl governed by emotion. She does not understand the forces at work here.”

“I understand that you have lost your way, priest.” The girl spoke

The Apparat gave her a pitying, indulgent smile. “You are ill, Sankta Alina. Not in your right mind. You do not know friend from foe.”

“You will release them,” she repeated. “I will not warn you again.”

A smirk flickered over his lips.

“You will be escorted to your chambers so that you may spend the day in solitude,” he said. “You will think on what has happened, and good sense will return. Tonight we will pray together. For guidance.”

“And if I refuse?” she asked, scanning the Priestguards. “Will your soldiers take up arms against their Saint?”

“You will remain untouched and protected, Sankta Alina, I cannot extend the same courtesy to those you would call friends.” he responded

“Do you know why I come here, priest?” Alina asked

He gave a dismissive wave, his impatience showing through. “It reminds you of home.”

Her eyes met Mal’s briefly. “You should know by now, an orphan has no home.”

She twitched her fingers in my sleeves. Shadows surged up the Kettle walls. It wasn’t much of a distraction, but it was enough.

The Priestguards startled, rifles swinging wildly, as their Grisha captives recoiled in shock.

“Now!” Mal shouted.

He shot forward, snatching the blasting powder from the Apparat’s hand. Tolya threw out his fists. Two of the Priestguards crumpled, clutching their chests. Nadia, Anaya and Zoya held up their hands, and Tamar spun, her axes slicing through their bonds.

The Squallers raised their arms, and wind rushed through the room, lifting the sawdust on the floor. “Seize them!” yelled the Apparat.

The guards sprang into action.

Anaya advanced towards one of the guards, thrashing him to the ground as she slid on one knee.

Mal hurled the pouch of powder into the air. Nadia and Zoya lobbed it higher, up into the master flue.

Another guard rushed towards Anaya, but before he could throw his fist at her, she slid on her knee and went behind him. She then knocked his leg with hers, making him fall upfront.

For a moment, there was a hush, suspended silence, and then high above them,they could hear a dampened boom.

A roaring sound rushed toward them. A cloud of soot and rubble billowed from the flue above.

“Nadia!” cried Zoya, who was grappling with a guard. Nadia arced her arms and the cloud hovered, twisted, siphoned into the shape of a whirling column. It spun away and collapsed to the floor in a harmless clatter of pebbles and dirt.

#nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov x oc

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fullscoreshenanigans · 10 months

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You know I think about Ray and Isabella relationship and i just think…

What could have she do? She couldn't save him. He was a boy, he didn't have a chance to escape death as Emma. He was smart so he could live until 12 years old but she couldn't give him more time.

His choice to reveals himself was incredibly risky. She was already deeply attached to him, but she managed to keep her facade after few second of absolute horror at the realisation that her former mum gave her... her how own child to raise to slaugher. Not only that but he revealed that he knows the truth of the orphenage.

Any other mother would have shipp him immediately. But Isabella didn't. Maybe because it was HER son, maybe because she didn't want to shipp a child before it was "time" for them (and because Ray was so smart…). After all, the manga shows that she is determined to make her children as smart that possible so they would have as much time that possible. Even if she couldn't save anyone. Because she couldn't do anything. She could just love them as much that possible and help them to survive as long that possible. She couldn't have them, except few girls, maybe. Has She refused, she would have been the one to be shipped and another mum would have take over and i doubt that Ray would have been able to make a deal with this new one.

Or maybe the deal gaves her a good excuse to NOT shipp him. Maybe because she truly cared, or maybe also because it was beneficial for her. (i'm not sure that she would have make the deal with another child)

But those 6 years after the revelation have been hard for her, she tried to keep her distance, to not love him but failed because like she says when she died "i love you so much". She TRIED to not love him, to not getting too attached, but failed (after all she keeps memories of all the kids that she has shipped because she loved them). It must have been exhausting for her even if she didn't have to fake with him. maybe except the fact that she still loved him.

But what if she had reacted differently? We sees in Ray one-shot that Ray hoped that she was their ally. He was desesperate to know/learnthat she had no choice, that she was on their side, as much prisoner than them, but she didn't answer like he hoped.

But what if she had been honest "I didn't want to die Ray" It's difference of "I wanted to survive as long than possible". Because Ray didn't want to die neither, he understands that feeling.

But then It would have been 6 exhausting years. both know, both care for each other and KNOW about the…deadline for Ray.

If they had planned the escape together?

Well Isabelle had still to shipp kids. Or she would be killed and replaced and the new one wouldn't be on their side. Ray would understand, he would know that there are no other choice for her than obey. That anything could ruin the plan that they create together. But it would still hurt a lot.

I don't know how Isabella would act in the "6 first volumes" before the escape. would she act the same (except with Ray) out of act because she doesn't want the headquarter to be suspicious? ('I'm sure that the mothers are monitored a lot to be sure that they don't do anything strange)

Loving each other would have give Ray maayybbe more fears and anxiety. Because all depent of if Isabella would tell him about the chip. If she tells him, then he knows that she will be unable to run away with them. And this escape would mean death for her. The guilt, the anxiety and he would be so bitter after the escape. He would NEVER forgive to the Ratri Clan and would be a lot bitter toward demons. (for being fair it's not Isabella who shipped Norman, it's Peter and the queen who wanted to send him to lambda to not give him to the demon god). Or maybe he would try to create a device for the ship like he did one for the tracker? But would fail because it's too difficult seen where the chip is. If she don't tell him. Ho boy. Realizing it the day of the escape would absolutly destroy him. At least he would't try to burn himself in this universe?

(in this universe, Isabella can't die, ok XD)

Not sure if you sent this ask a while back, but I'll plagiarize myself from there because the sentiment hasn't changed for this topic:

Yeeeeesss I repeatedly come back to how utterly fraught Isabella and Ray’s relationship is because it’s one of the things that lingered with me the most after binging S1 and still does, even almost two years later. She’s one of greyest characters in the series when it comes to the morality behind her actions and motives, and I always think it’s interesting how different people interpret them.

And with the amount of focus it gets in fandom it's clear a lot of people share it lol (and, while obviously not representative of the fandom in its entirety for a multitude of reasons, probably contributes to why she led this poll by a significant margin.)

Or maybe the deal gaves her a good excuse to NOT ship him. Maybe because she truly cared, or maybe also because it was beneficial for her. (i'm not sure that she would have make the deal with another child)

While there’s an entire additional dimension to the relationship in Ray being the child to make the deal with her, she’d probably make a deal with any child if the benefits outweighed the risks, assuming the child approached her in the same manner (alone in private as opposed to hinting at something in front of other children), they seemed capable of keeping the secret and were willing to do so, and their test scores were high enough that they were going to be around until their twelfth birthday anyway so she wouldn’t have to resort to anything suspicious to protect them from early selection. (I’m personally inclined to include “breaking up the monotony that is dedicating almost all your time to raising young children in near-complete isolation with minimal interaction with other adults” as a benefit. Not the main deciding one because her bottom line is always how to maintain her position and product quality, but a huge bonus.) She could easily fall back on them having tremendous potential. Not to the same level as Norman, and maybe not even to the same level as Emma and Ray, but at minimum around Don’s, Gilda’s, or Phil’s.

His choice to reveal himself was incredibly risky. She was already deeply attached to him, but she managed to keep her facade after few second of absolute horror at the realisation that her former mum gave her... her own child to raise to slaughter. Not only that but he revealed that he knows the truth of the orphanage.Any other mother would have shipp him immediately. But Isabella didn't. Maybe because it was HER son, maybe because she didn't want to ship a child before it was "time" for them (and because Ray was so smart…). After all, the manga shows that she is determined to make her children as smart that possible so they would have as much time that possible. Even if she couldn't save anyone. Because she couldn't do anything. She could just love them as much that possible and help them to survive as long that possible. She couldn't have them, except few girls, maybe. Has She refused, she would have been the one to be shipped and another mum would have take over and i doubt that Ray would have been able to make a deal with this new one.

It’s interesting to me when people frame her rationalization like this, not because I disagree with it, but because of how often characters in this series will lie to themselves as a means of self-protection in order to keep operating in the way they are, it feels like a half-truth.

(TPN Exhibition Interview December 2020)

Shirai himself considers Isabella “a poor person,” not solely in the sense of her situation being pitiable (because it is), but also in the presentation of her motives to herself as selfless for so long before Ray prompted her to confess her more selfish ones in what’s probably the only moment of complete honesty he ever had with her at Grace Field.

(TPN Light Novel 2: Moms’ Song of Remembrance - “The Starry Sky and Leslie’s List”)

Especially when at one point she was vehemently against the thought of framing the way the Moms operated as true love.

It’s left up to the audience to decide how selfish those motives actually are given the circumstances she finds herself in. If it’s negligible because what could she genuinely do on her own, combined with not wanting to die being a natural human desire; if they’re more tolerable if she doesn’t discount her own desire to avoid death as just as powerful of a motivator or pretend she’s being entirely noble in what she does; if that doesn’t matter because she’s still repeatedly making the decision that her life is worth extending more than the children she puts up for slaughter or that her children’s test scores are what’s most indicative of her being more qualified than the other Moms.

For me, the sticking point is always her treatment of Ray and how she called him a dog directly to his face.

(S1 Episode 8)

There’s some delight in throwing him off balance, in reminding him of the power she has over him, especially when even if he knew she did eventually intend to ship him out when he turned twelve (because he wouldn’t let himself dare hope she had changed her mind since their meeting at the wall when it was so devastating to see her unable to tell him she can’t kill him.)

(Chapter 181.1)

He was still so confident she wouldn’t abandon him in the way that she does, his declaration to Norman earlier in chapter 14/episode 5 one of genuine belief rather than a false front.

(Ignoring how horrific it is he’s expressing his value to her as one of her finest products in conjunction with his anguished declaration of humanity on the eve of his next birthday.)

(S1 Episode 8)

The way she smiles at his futile attempt to slow her down during the attempted wall inspection, seeing him lose at their battle of masks as he lunges at her in desperation while she still maintains control of the situation.

(S1 Episode 10)

Or when he’s languishing in the library, distraught after Norman is shipped out (which is stated to be part of an act, but only in that he hadn’t abandoned his plan entirely; the mourning is real).

You could argue that she’s expressing contentment at how the system can remain intact so the other Grace Field children are still able to live ignorant and blissful lives until their shipment dates, that her five oldest children haven’t ruined that for them, but given how it’s Ray specifically in this scene she’s looking at before turning away, I’m inclined to disagree, or at least that it’s solely a selfless (if warped) stance.

Those smiles are only for herself.

To quote myself in another post:

I continue to debate how much of her maintaining her deal with Ray was strictly for pragmatic reasons and how much was due to wanting to keep him close out of some painfully complicated mess of emotions that was constantly oscillating between a tainted affection and spiteful hatred. Any time she would find herself falling into the former, forgetting the circumstances of their relationship, him being the living, breathing reminder of one of the worst things HQ forced her to endure would resurface and how they chose to put him in her plant as if to silently mock her and unknowingly rub in how pitiful the life of a Mom would always be under this system. To openly love him would be one step further in giving in than she’d already done by accepting the Mom position and loving all the other cattle children she raised for slaughter, and she hated to give that much more of herself than she already had when she wasn’t aware of his origins. So she would dutifully do what was tasked of her, but on her terms, as petty as they were. Deep down, she probably knew the significance of this would largely go unrealized by those she intended to get back at, and yet when one is forced to live such a routine, mundane life under the thumb of such a system, knowing there are humans out there who live lives freely without having to make any similar sacrifices, it eats at a person. So she took it out on the only other person in the house who had an inkling of the true hell they lived in. Never directly in the form of physical abuse or boorish spoken threats because the former would be counterproductive and the latter lacked the perceived elegance she’d cultivated about herself, but in the form of emotional neglect by withholding affection and regularly keeping him off-kilter with the choice of words she did use. Not constantly, because him being perpetually fearful would render his services useless, but enough to keep him on his toes while still lulling him into some semblance of security to explain his confidence in his exchange with Norman when it’s revealed he’s the traitor.

I do believe that she loved him, but during their time at Grace Field together there was also a part of her that saw loving him as an act of further giving into the demons after how much they’d already demeaned her. A constant balance of some part of her wanting to keep him close yet not being able to bear it, always maintaining a distance and a professional, clinical air about their arrangement.

And I do agree Ray likely wouldn’t have been able to make a deal with another Mom. He was lucky he ended up with Isabella, not because of their biological connection, but her priorities.

(Chapter 22)

What’s ironic is the one memento that survived Grace Field and made its way to her was the only one she didn’t give to a child herself.

(Chapter 181.3)

Somehow his note made its way to her, and she kept it safe, even considered it a treasure.

While still under the oppressive air of headquarters, she had a bit more freedom as Grandma. Combined with the thought of “distance makes the heart grow fonder,” I believe the pain she associated with Ray lessened as she reflected on her mistreatment of him. Maybe now she could admit to herself she did love him without it being followed by an ache in her heart.

(Chapter 174)

She had made peace with the idea of him never forgiving her for the cruelty she inflicted on him and shipping off so many children over the years and is genuinely shocked when he tells her to expedite her self-pitying so they can get a move on to the human world. I don’t think he completely forgave her either because that kind of trauma etches itself deep into one’s bones and psyche, but he could recognize the suffering she endured under the farm system, and for the sake of everyone else present, he was willing to make an attempt.

(Chapter 177)

“I couldn’t dote on you” meaning not that she physically couldn’t, but that she couldn’t mentally dissociate him from her own trauma and that’s what led to her perpetuating the cycle and reinforcing this distance between them.

For his part, he mourns the loss of what could have been. How, in another life, they could have had a normal, loving mother-son relationship. Something that as much as he might try to deny it after everything with how foolish it could sound, was something he wished for deep in his heart. How now any opportunity at mending their actual relationship, of her making a long-term, concerted effort to repair it was gone. How he was left to pick up the pieces.

If they had planned the escape together? Well Isabelle had still to ship kids. Or she would be killed and replaced and the new one wouldn't be on their side. Ray would understand, he would know that there are no other choice for her than obey. That anything could ruin the plan that they create together. But it would still hurt a lot.

I agree that he would understand while also accepting the ire his siblings may have for him or her.

(S1 Episode 5)

Like he does in canon when he’s shocked at how perceptive Emma is regarding his experiments on the tracking devices but makes no attempt at an excuse or justification for it, or when he’s willing to poison his relationship with Emma and Norman and cause them to push him away if it meant they’d live beyond their twelfth birthdays.

I feel like Don would take Conny’s death worse if he knew Ray was working with Isabella in a more relaxed context. Even with the knowledge of the regular bimonthly shipments that need to occur in order to avoid suspicion, and even afterward feeling awful about thinking of sacrificing one sibling for another, a part of him might have wished for Ray to have some influence that would have spared her.

In a similar vein, I think the kids would be even more livid over Norman being shipped out, assuming Isabella still doesn’t tell them he’s not actually dead. Maybe. He’s at least alive when he leaves, but maybe if she knows anything about Lambda she figures he’s essentially received a death sentence that’s staved off for a bit. Still, it would probably feel like a betrayal.

Beyond ensuring regular shipments go out and a decent variety of test scores are maintained, I don’t think Moms are monitored any more closely than the way the Moms monitor the kids in their plants with the crude trackers. There’s an awareness of the general going-ons of the plants without the specifics via the daily reports, and if they need to know their exact location on the plant they can look it up, but the assumption is that if you’ve made it to the Mom position you’ve fully bought into the farm system and believe there is no better option for you or the children in your charge.

(TPN Light Novel 2: Moms’ Song of Remembrance - “Searching for the Skies of Freedom”)

Headquarters sowed seeds of distrust even further with the culling of Sister candidates and how some skills were only taught to Sisters who retrained if they couldn’t secure a position at one of the plants. The better to keep them stratified and make it more difficult to dismantle the system (because the electronic chips next to their hearts wasn’t enough lol)

(Chapter 23)

But even in light of all that, as a full scorer who became the youngest Mom in Grace Field’s history, Isabella had Sarah’s favor long before Krone arrived. She was willing to look the other way when Krone presented her with Ray’s note as evidence the five eldest children knew the secret, and we never hear of any issues arising from the rewards Isabella acquires for Ray.

So they’re monitored, but a lot of it is self-monitoring.

Loving each other would have give Ray maayybbe more fears and anxiety. Because all depent of if Isabella would tell him about the chip. If she tells him, then he knows that she will be unable to run away with them. And this escape would mean death for her. The guilt, the anxiety and he would be so bitter after the escape. He would NEVER forgive to the Ratri Clan and would be a lot bitter toward demons. (for being fair it's not Isabella who shipped Norman, it's Peter and the queen who wanted to send him to Lambda to not give him to the demon god). Or maybe he would try to create a device for the chip like he did one for the tracker? But would fail because it's too difficult seen where the chip is. If she don't tell him. Ho boy. Realizing it the day of the escape would absolutely destroy him. At least he wouldn’t try to burn himself in this universe?

Even if she explains the existence of Lambda to the kids, I still feel Norman’s shipment would be a sticking point for them, either knowing what he was going to go through or because of the uncertainty of what he would have to endure. Like there was something she didn’t try, even if it wasn’t true. That would be a dramatic time to drop the knowledge about the electronic chips though as part of an explanation for why the escape date can’t be bumped up, if she didn’t tell them before.

(in this universe, Isabella can't die, ok XD)

I am also anti Isabella dying after how rushed her reconciliation and death were in canon lol

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rrat-king · 4 months

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BIRD!2!3!2! truly am obsessed with how you think about trackerbees gnawing at all the headcannons!!!!!! yes they breakup!! yes they are each other’s person!! yes they can be dysfunctional but still be there when it’s important and matters!!!!!

and i totally agree on the kink thing like i actually think kristen would find the whole being loved so deeply more important than sexual stuff i think that’s just the energy younger ppl have when they don’t know it all yet but i think she would come around and be like both are good!! would prefer the absolute like tearing down walls of allowing herself to be loved

they both scream casual intimacy in such an incredible way that it’s what makes me obsessed like that fiercely loving each other. incredible.

the way kristen dies multiple times but death only truly shakes her when tracker is threatened to be killed like ohhhhhh. oh. finding your person who knows you when you don’t know how to find yourself since you’ve constantly been given a mantle. someone who sees past you being this saint and sees you as human and takes you in their arms.

and in the reverse tracker having someone fight for her!!!! she’s always had jawbone they’ve had each other forever especially in terms of family and especially lycanthropy but having someone closer to her age and making her feel so deeply valued. her being worried abt not going on their trip because kristen didn’t want her there, fearing about being left behind and kristen never wanting to leave herself or lose her.

general themes of them refusing to abandon one another makes me feel very unnormal.

there is truly a devastating lack of deep exploration of their complications. especially when people think about them breaking up they tend to make one or the other a villain but they aren’t doing anything malicious!! like so many of their faults come from them wanting to care so much they forget about themselves.

like yeah kristen withholding information because she was scared to discuss conflict and lose her. having her family never talk about the ‘bad’ just avoiding it. parallels to tracker full on taking part in kristen’s church to stay close and feel helpful. offering to stay there if she didn’t go on the trip- going as far to neglect her own religion

sorry for the word vomit but your mind influences me greatly <3

literally never apologize for this becuase yes you understand exactly what im trying to say and god you word it better than i ever could!! they are complicated and weird but also! they are just kids! they make mistakes and weird choices but its not just one persons fault. also. the thing about death is so real and true and i adore you mind and the way you think about things just. anon beloved

#thank you for the ask <3333 #bird answers #d20 #trackerbees #fantasy high #kristen applebees #tracker o'shaughnessey

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dotthings · 2 years

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Heart stolen, and I'm not sorry. EPISODE TWO OF THE WINCHESTERS IS SO GOOD.

-an entire episode about defining yourself on your own terms instead of who your parents need you to be, and that applies whether it's a nurturing loving parent where there are disagreements, or an abusive parent (or parent figure). Necessary process. And something our narrator, Dean, knows first hand. It's quietly shattering to see young John go through this, and trying to assert his own path, and he has understanding and warmth and support from Millie even though they disagree, while knowing what's ahead for John and what he'll do to his sons, especially Dean, who had to fight so hard to forge his own identity and endure John's endless criticism, neglect, abuse, being pressured into becoming his father's blunt instrument. I knew this series would add extra layers of heartbreak (not in a bad way). It's just a heavy irony and truly tragic. Meanwhile Mary looking for her absent hunter father, who doesn't listen to her, who runs the hunter family as a dictatorship, and she's trying to find her own path, so she's going through Dean's story too. John and Mary both have similarities with Sam as well--Sam who rebelled openly, early on, the way John is, the way Mary is. But they are both like Dean as well. And John right now may be defining himself on his own terms, in a positive way, but he's not going to be able to be the parent this era of John would want to be.

-the friendships of the core 4 are a delight to watch. Carlos and Mary's friendship and how they call each other out and can speak bluntly to each other, but out of caring, in a way that familiarity and closeness can support. Carlos and Lata is a lot softer, but supportive and they too tease and tweak at each other's ways and foibles, and help keep each other centered. Mary and Lata's respect and love for each other, but coming at hunting with very different skillsets and with very different personalities. John adding a wild card as the new guy and he is closest to Mary right now, but his interactions with Lata and with Carlos have both been an interesting dynamic so far and we'll get to see all those friendships grow.

-"You disappear for a week and come back covered in blood" "It's not my blood" sksksksksjsdkf poor Millie. Like that makes it ok.

-getting to finally get some insight into John's time as a marine. In ep 1 we find out he has PTSD, in ep 2 it addresses his skill as a tracker and how he feels he's failing to live up to his training. John is carrying a little bit of this theme of veterans who return from war and find it hard to readjust to life at home, feeling out of step. John clearly felt some confidence in his skills as a US soldier, but is feeling in over his head learning to be a hunting soldier. Yet he plunges in head first. He's like Mary in his boldness and strength, but wilder than Mary, which is meant to be concerning. There is something heedless about John, of his own safety and maybe even of others, his head goes so deeply into the moment of battling a monster. While Mary is more cerebral about it, methodical. She's ruthless and cool-headed.

-Millie and Ada continue to ground this. (The whole cast is wonderful, Bianca and Demetria continue to bring a strength and gravitas to add weight). With both of these women, their warmth, wisdom, and imperfections and vulnerabilities. Millie's love for her son. Her heartbreak about losing her husband, and her fears about the path John is going down. I loved the moment with the jasmine. Millie having no idea what is growing on the side of her garage, and Ada telling her it's jasmine, it's there for protection, and the look on Millie's face. That Ada asked to take some of the jasmine for her special tea to do the automatic writing. Using some of the legacy Henry left behind to watch over his family, to help his son and his friends save the world from monsters and Mary find her own father. Ada's acting as something of a mentor already for the core 4. She does things her own unique way and has experiences they don't, and is going to use that to help guide them.

-I'm guessing those creepy big bug thingies (one of them attacked Samuel in the pilot) are the Akrida. But who is the cloaked figure leading them?

-I liked the MOTW. Following in the spn tradition of monsters that reflect on the emotional themes, even embody them.

-really really liking the look of the series overall, the style it's filmed in. It's in some dynamic directing choices and how performances are filmed, as well as the spookiness, like all those zombies. This is loaded up with monsters, fully on screen, and while I understand the reasons to hide monsters on screen, to show only a shadow, and how that builds suspense, there's also a lot to be said for going unashamedly full monsters and in large numbers, and a lot. And it's the visual aesthetic, the Americana, and even the lenses to create the feel of a period piece. The vintage lenses and mimicking how tv and film looked in the 70's. All that is helping to build the world of The Winchesters. It feels very much like a Supernatural show, feels like it's in the same world, yet has its own aesthetic notes and style and style of storytelling too.

#The Winchesters #spnwin #John Winchester #Mary Winchester #Carlos Cervantez #Millie Winchester #Ada Monroe #spnwin meta #spnwin 1.02 #Latika Dar

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rixm01ina · 6 months

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Israel-Palestine Conflict

The surprising attack by Hamas on Israel, happened on October 7, has caught the intention of the world. During this offensive, Hamas combatants utilized paragliders to breach Israeli territory and used bulldozers to create openings in protective fences. Tragically, this operation resulted in the loss of more than 1,000 lives and the capture of around 100 hostages.

This event occurred in the context of escalating violence between the Palestine and Israel. On the same day, October 7, Hamas launched a massive barrage of at least 5,000 rockets from Gaza aimed at Israel. This attack led to the death of approximately 1,400 Israelis, with many Israeli civilians, including women and children, being taken hostage in the Gaza Strip.

In response, Israel launched retaliatory strikes and officially declared war on Hamas a day later. As of October 15, the conflict had taken a heavy toll on Palestinians, with around 2,700 Palestinian casualties and million of peoples internally displaced. Israel's decision to cut off vital supplies, such as food, water, electricity, and fuel to Gaza, has exacerbated the already dire humanitarian crisis in the region.

Additionally, there have been conflicting directives from both sides. Israel urged the residents of Northern Gaza to evacuate the area, while Hamas advised them to remain in place, further complicating the situation.

The conflict in Israel and Palestine goes way back and involves Jews, Christians, and Muslims who all care about the land and the city of Jerusalem. In the 1900s, the conflict escalated because of things like British control (British Mandate), a declaration supporting a Jewish homeland (Balfour Declaration), a lot of Jewish immigrants, and a plan to split the land into Jewish and Arab states (UN Partition Plan).

In 1948, Israel was officially created, and this led to a big war with Arab countries, causing a lot of Palestinians to suffer. Over the years, there were many wars and uprisings, like the Six-Day War and the Yom Kippur War, which continue to cause problems and suffering.

The conflict isn't just about politics. it's deeply tied to history and religion. Understanding the history helps us see how important it is in world affairs. We need to work for peace because people are still suffering.

References:

•https://www.cfr.org/global-conflict-tracker/conflict/israeli-palestinian-conflict

•https://www.cnn.com/middleeast/live-news/al-aqsa-storm-militants-infiltrate-israel-after-gaza-rockets-10-07-intl-hnk/index.html

•https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2023/10/17/israel-hamas-war-reason-explained-gaza

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hqamore · 3 years

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boreal star ✵ chapter six

now, he’s pissed off. general kirigan was going to get his sun summoner and blast all of ravka to hell. he was so close to reaching his goals and no one was going to stop him.

chapter genre: action

series pairing: [past?] aleksander morozova (general kirigan) x reader

word count: 2.2k

author’s babble: surprise! so soon? i know. i cranked this chapter because i finally decided how this series would end. enjoy and tell me your thoughts!

here’s the masterlist

three days, you and mal agreed on. you procrastinated for the first two. well, not really procrastinated. you purchased some food and extra layers in balakirev the first day. the second day, you made your way to ryevost. to your misfortune, you were almost caught by aleksander and his merry band of misfits. but, his attention was stolen by teenagers? it was certainly entertaining to see the grisha get outwitted by the bunch.

you waited until you couldn’t detect them anymore. swiftly and careful to hide your face, you made your way to tsibeya on the third day. by high noon, the white forest greeted you with light snowfall. about 5km in, two huddled teens came into view. the crisp sounds of your steps alerted them, their eyes darting to you.

“[y/n]?” alina stepped in front of mal in a defensive position, light drawn at the ready. you surrendered your hands as mal lightly pushed away hers.

“alina, i told you they were coming,” he said.

with some reluctance, the sun summoner lowered her hands and eyed her. “why would baghra send you? you arrived at the palace the same time as i did.”

you smiled, ignoring her question, and strode past them, only pausing for them to follow. mal slung his sack over his shoulder and gave alina’s hand a light squeeze before jogging ahead of you. “i’ll look out for the stag. but, it’d be better for all of us if you answered her questions,” he whispered. “she’s naturally curious and very stubborn.”

you sighed and slowed your pace, matching your strides with alina’s. “baghra and i have a mutual understanding, one that precedes the importance of the second army,” you said.

alina glanced at you warily. “which is?”

“the black heretic cannot gain any more power.”

her lips pursed. “but, you arrived at the same time i did,” she quipped, “and i still can’t do much.”

you offered a dry chuckle. “i guess i picked it up that much faster.”

silence fell between you two, the crunching snow and distance chirps of birds filling the air. you took this opportunity to take in alina’s appearance. she wore ill-fitted clothing that couldn’t have been providing any warmth. her profile was worn, sunken eyes accompanied by an angry blush from the cool temperature. you shrugged your coat off, leaving you in your kefta, and draped it over her shoulders. she looked at you in surprise which made you smile softly.

with this small bridge, you spoke. “it must’ve been difficult escaping the palace without help.”

alina sheepishly smiled as she tugged the coat on, shuddering in the extra warmth. “not really. i just snuck into the trunk of a carriage and waited until it stopped.”

“you snuck into a stranger’s carriage?” you raised in an eyebrow, mirth evident in your eyes.

“not my best idea, but i’m safe now!”

you laughed at her embarrassed look, causing mal to look back. you saw as his lips quirked when his eyes met alina’s blushing face. warmth spread in your heart as you witnessed his loving gaze, almost feeling as if you were intruding on a secret conversation. you peered at alina who just returned mal’s stare with a blinding smile native only to one alina starkov. you envied their relationship, wordlessly intimate and completely trusting. sadness stirred at the bottom of your heart, memories of hushed giggles and longing gazes bubbling.

all lies, it was.

—

the sun was setting and, luckily, the three of you had already arrived where mal had last seen the stag. mal said he doubted that the stag moved on, leaving you guys to wait around.

brushing some snow off of a log, you sat and hugged your knees closer to conserve some warmth. alina and mal joined you, leaning into each other to share their body heat.

“when we find the stag, i need to be the one to kill it,” alina grimly stated.

mal looked down at her. “you’re a terrible shot. they made you a cartographer for a reason.”

you snickered as alina feigned offense and mal grinned unapologetically. “besides, i thought we weren’t killing it,” the tracker said, glancing at you. alina’s forehead scrunched in confusion when she turned to you.

a puff of fog appeared as you let out a sigh. “we’re not. unless absolutely necessary.”

“if we don’t, kiri—”

“i have a plan, alina,” you interrupted. “all we need to do is guide the stag away. with a combination of your abilities and mine, it’ll be fairly easy.”

“that won’t stop him from finding it,” alina protested.

you gently placed a hand on alina’s head. “that’s why, once we get it out of fjerdan territory, i’m taking it to the wandering isle. the distance will prevent aleksander from coming for it personally and give me more time to work out a permanent solution.”

she stayed silent for a moment, mulling over your plan, before she frowned. “aleksander.”

your head tilted questioningly when her body faced you, a serious look on her face. “how do you know his name?” she asked.

sucking in a deep breath, you realized you had relaxed too soon. her sharp eyes trained on you as you rubbed your face. mal remained confused, leaning forward to observe the two of you.

“it’s difficult not to know the name of your warden,” you replied.

“warden?”

you debated whether or not to tell alina the complete truth, but you threw caution into the wind and exhaled. “my arrival at the palace was not the first time i had been there. some time ago, i actually called that place home. but, one day, i woke up from the false reality and escaped from the place that was, retrospectively, my prison.”

too intelligent, alina connected the dots in record time. “you’re the lover the servants talked about,” she said breathily. “the person baghra thought would change him.”

a bitter smile danced on your lips. “i’m not sure if he loved me as i did him, but i would’ve hung the stars if he asked me to.”

alina clasped your hand in hers, offering a weak smile. you returned it before continuing. “i met him about four-hundred years ago, when he was hiding from the crown. i was young and enchanted. i believed in everything he wanted for grisha and became his willing accomplice.

“when he returned to the palace, i followed. when he locked me in my room, i complied. as naive as i was, i was in love,” you paused to glance at the pair in front of you, reminded of their small moments that paralleled your memories.

“i was in love...” you trailed, staring at your lap as your chest panged dully. you shook yourself out of your daze and cleared your throat. “no matter, i saw him for the crazed tyrant he was and, when i found out you had been discovered, i returned to thwart his plans.”

faint rustling drew mal’s attention away, the tracker slowly stepping towards the source. alina’s eyes followed him as did yours. after a few seconds, he turned. “that way.”

like meerkats, you and alina shot up and crept beside mal. his eyes darted around the clearing you were approaching and, there in all its glory, was the stag. the three of you stopped at a safe distance when it turned to look in your direction.

you started laying out the plan. “okay. alina, you need to—”

“wait,” alina said, stepping forward, with her eyes trained on the stag. “i— i’ve been seeing it in these visions ever since i arrived at the palace. i don’t know why, but i think it’s been trying to reach out to me.”

then, the stag walked towards alina who took several more steps. she gingerly reached her hand out and the stag met her with its snout. light erupted from them and alina let out soft laughs, basking in the warmth of the light. you softly gasped at the sight. it chose—

suddenly, an arrow shot the stag, causing it to lurch away from alina in pain. she tumbled backwards as people rushed in from all sides. mal raised his gun and shot at the bowman, knocking him down. he swiftly notched an arrow in his bow, prepared to shoot the stag, when a strong wind forced it out of his hand. you turned and was faced with a familiar-looking squaller. you loosened gravity’s hold on her and forced her to float. when you were about to fling her away, a grunt sounded behind you.

“mal!”

your focus disappeared; you pivoted to see mal embedded with an arrow, effectively dropping zoya and incapacitating her. you went to help him when an intense pressure hit your chest, your heart beating erratically. it forced you onto your knees next to mal. your heart was pounding in your ear before it stopped.

bright flashes threw off the heartrender and bowman. you greedily breathed in air as alina darted to mal. you could hear the snap of the arrow followed by mal’s agonizing scream. glancing up, your vision slightly blurred, you saw shadows gathering behind you. at the sound of a billowing cloak, you rushed to create a gravitational downforce around you, not allowing anyone to move. you slowly stood up, facing aleksander with a glare.

he let out a haughty laugh. “i should’ve known you would be with her.”

“alina, i need you to get to the stag,” you commanded.

“but, mal! he’s— he’s dying!”

you glanced behind you to see her applying pressure on his wounds. thoughts raced in your mind before settling on one solution. “i promise you he won’t so long as you follow my instructions.”

desperation evident in her eyes, alina could only nod.

“get to the stag and shield us on my count.”

you inhaled deeply. “3, 2, 1!”

alina ran for the stag and created a barrier. you dove under it before it separated you from the others. outside of it, aleksander found himself free to move. creeping closer, he called out. “you can’t save them, alina. you may have the power of light but not the power to heal.”

alina’s resolve wavered as her eyes flicker to mal. “don’t listen to him, alina! i promised you, didn’t i?” you reassured.

alina bit her lip as she kept up the barrier. you made mal float and pulled him closer to the stag. you gently set him down and reached for the stag. it groaned and flailed in protest.

“i know i’m not your chosen, but please. i must heal him and then i can heal you,” you whispered.

the stag quieted and allowed you to touch it. with one hand on the stag, you hovered the other near mal’s wound.

“i’m sorry, mal, but this is gonna hurt like hell.”

you manipulated time on his body. blood slowly returned to the wound whilst the arrow pieced itself together, ripping itself out of him afterwards. mal let out a painful howl before the wound stitches itself back together, like no arrow had been there in the first place. as he recovered, you quickly moved around to the other side of the stag.

“i see you’ve been busy,” aleksander said sharply.

rage gathered in the pit of your stomach when you shot a glare at aleksander. “and you’ve been a complete fool. after all this time, you still can’t get it through your thick skull that morozova’s amplifiers have to choose you,” you spat.

you returned your attention to the stag’s wound. you murmured an apology before you worked on it. it whined through the pain but stilled once you finished. your hands trembled as you shakily pushed yourself off the ground. the stag stirred and stood on its legs, causing alina to follow in suit. you ran your hand through its fur and whispered. “just once more, friend.”

as if it reads your mind, it knelt before alina. you looked at her, mal now standing beside her.

“you two, get on.”

alina gave you a bewildered look. you returned it with a pleading one. without protest, she and mal both mounted the stag. then, it rose, looking towards you. you leaned your forehead against its snout. “take them far from here.”

you stepped to the side and took alina’s hand. “now, i only have so much energy left to keep them here. so, ride fast.”

“what? you’re not coming with us?” alina’s jaw dropped.

you offered her a melancholic smile. “please, if i have to witness anymore of your loving gazes, i’ll become a bitter spinster,” you teased before growing serious. “alina, keep the shield up until you’ve left fjerdan territory. only make it as big as it has to be. mal, you’re going to have to make sure she doesn’t fall off.”

you let go of her hand and gave mal a nod. inching away from them, you approached the center of the field, barely covered by alina’s light. you glanced back and jerked your head, signaling them to leave. you immobilized aleksander and his men once more, allowing alina and mal to slip through and disappear into the winter night. despite your raging headache, you kept your focus until you couldn’t see the light. you collapsed, the snow cushioning your fall. your vision blurred as you heard footsteps approach you.

“we’ll find them eventually.”

you squinted at your former lover. “no, i don’t think you will, aleks.”

aleksander crouched down and whispered in your ear. “i should kill you where you lay.”

“be my guest. you are well within your rights, general kirigan,” you taunted.

he sneered. “out of respect for our past, i won’t. but, you will be my prisoner.”

“what’s new?” you asked before promptly passing out.

taglist (couldn’t tag the ones in bold): @kykymyeon @shelivesindaydreamswme @blackbirddaredevil23 @amortentiaaaa @safetyhtom @savannah-elliott @deceivedeer @gloriousmoneyrascalbiscuit @sarcastic-and-cool @supersouthy @let-love-bleeds-red @andwhatofthelight @all-art-is-quite-useless @mixed-imagination @ashdab2611 @aria-grace-scott @multifandom-addict @aleksanderwh0r3 @p3nny4urth0ught5 @kirigansgf @evyiione @theoutsidelandhere @wizardwheezes @partiesandblurrypolaroids @pansysgirlfriend @takethee @imrann123456 @rachellovesharry

author’s babble pt.2: ohoho! can you believe they did that? now, you may be wondering why [y/n] is able to manipulate time. it has to do with spacetime being 4 dimensional and the complexity that comes with the concept of gravity. a bit wibbly wobbly timey wimey (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

continue to chapter seven? yes

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfiction #grishaverse fanfiction #shadow and bone imagine #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan imagine #the darkling x reader #the darkling imagine #aleksander morozova x reader #boreal star

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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Spilled Pearls

- Chapter 20 - ao3 -

“Your brother has been acting strange,” Lan Yueheng said, his voice drifting in through the open door.

He was crouched down in the dirt, happily gathering a small harvest from the plants he’d grown outside Lan Qiren’s window. Most of the materials he used for his alchemy experiments he obtained from the specialized fields in the Cloud Recesses, but there were some variants that the sect members in charge of those fields disfavored on account of certain pharmacological side effects associated with them. Lan Yueheng had prevailed on his friendship with Lan Qiren to beg, at some considerable length, that he be allowed to grow those variants in the area near Lan Qiren’s rooms – he’d argued that no one would ever think to check there on account of Lan Qiren’s rule-abiding reputation.

Lan Qiren had pointed out that there were no actual rules against growing those plants - they were only disfavored, not disallowed - thereby rendering the entire issue with people checking for it moot, but Lan Yueheng had insisted and eventually he’d yielded.

Let Lan Yueheng grow his nightmare plants wherever he liked. What did he care? He wasn’t using that patch of land for anything in particular, and it was nice to have a reason to see Lan Yueheng on a regular basis.

“Strange how?” Lan Qiren asked, finishing off the final stroke of a painting. He didn’t like it, but then again, he never liked any of the paintings he did for himself – they were too stiff and unfeeling, in his view, lacking spirit and movement no matter what he tried. His favorite painting was still the antique Wen Ruohan had left on his wall all that time ago, a lively little landscape with burnt edges suggesting that it had been hastily recovered from a fire at some point; he’d never replaced any of the things his sworn brother had gotten for him.

“I’m not sure how to describe it. Just strange,” Lan Yueheng said. “I don’t know how many people have noticed yet, him being pretty standoffish and above-it-all at the best of times, but it’s not the usual sort of thing for him.”

Lan Yueheng was like Lan Qiren; they were good at noticing patterns, however bad they were at figuring out the meanings behind it. If Lan Yueheng said it wasn’t normal, it probably wasn’t.

Lan Qiren rubbed at his forehead, suppressing the desire to go figure out the problem right away. “I don’t think I can help,” he said instead. “He doesn’t like to see me, remember?”

“He’s important to the sect,” Lan Yueheng said peaceably, and Lan Qiren loved him all over again for not saying he’s still your brother. “You might not like him, but you like the sect. So you have to help figure it out.”

Lan Qiren did not like it when Lan Yueheng was right about things. It gave him a strange itchy feeling of dissatisfaction.

“Someone else could figure it out,” he argued. “He’s sect leader now, remember? His well-being is everyone’s responsibility.”

“But you’re the one who’s good at figuring out weird stuff.”

“Do not tell lies,” Lan Qiren grumbled, but he still put away his things and went to see his brother – who wasn’t where he was supposed to be. Any of the places he was supposed to be.

That was strange.

Lan Qiren’s brother was talented and powerful, skilled and meticulous; he was too proud of his status and accomplishments to shirk work. Whatever had drawn him away must have been very compelling indeed – or so Lan Qiren thought.

He wasn’t expecting, when he finally tracked down his brother through a tracker spell utilized on an old comb, to find him walking through the forest alongside a young woman, sword at his side as if he were night-hunting.

“I am night-hunting,” he said when Lan Qiren asked him. “I’m escorting Mistress He.”

Lan Qiren turned to look at the girl.

She smiled at him in a perfunctory sort of fashion. She was beautiful in a way that reminded Lan Qiren a little of Cangse Sanren, though her looks were very different – more refined and elegant, more delicate and less down-to-earth, thoroughly lacking the vaguely unsettling undertones so characteristic of Baoshan Sanren’s disciple, but no less lovely in her own way.

“Qingheng-jun was just showing me the lay of the land,” she said coolly. “If you need him to return, of course, I won’t keep him.”

“There’s nothing else I need to do,” he said at once, which was such a blatant lie that Lan Qiren’s jaw dropped.

The girl glanced over at him and looked amused, saluting briefly: “He Kexin, a rogue cultivator,” she introduced herself. She shouldn’t have needed to; per etiquette, Lan Qiren’s brother should have introduced them, but he was clearly too far into his own world to care for such niceties. “And you are…?”

“Gusu Lan sect’s Lan Qiren,” Lan Qiren said on automatic, returning the salute. “I’m – his brother.”

“Oh?” she said. “In that case, you must have plenty to talk about. Anyway, there doesn’t seem to be much night-hunting here, so I’ll be leaving.”

Lan Qiren’s brother saluted deeply. “I hope to see you again soon, Mistress He.” His voice was gentler than Lan Qiren had ever heard it.

She waved a careless hand in half-hearted agreement as she went, but Lan Qiren’s brother stared after her departing figure until she was out of sight. Only when she was fully gone did he turn away, and when he did, he turned only in order to glare at Lan Qiren.

“Why did you interrupt us?” he asked, and his voice had gone back to its usual cold remove. “We were finally spending some time together alone, without those friends of hers crowding in and bothering us.”

Lan Qiren glanced in the direction that He Kexin had gone. “I don’t think it’ll make much of a difference,” he said hesitantly. “If you’re alone or with her friends, I mean. I don’t think – I don’t think that she likes you all that much.”

Lan Qiren had no natural social skills, not like his brother, who was charming enough to draw most people in despite or perhaps because of his cool and distant demeanor, but in sheer self-defense he had worked very hard to categorize and identify a variety of unspoken signals utilized by people in order to try to figure out logically what he couldn’t do intuitively. While he was still terrible at identifying indications of positive interest of any sort, as Cangse Sanren was always teasing him, he had gotten much better at detecting negative signs that indicated disinterest, indifference, or boredom.

“She likes me well enough,” his brother said, his tone oddly defensive. “She’s reserved, that’s all – you really can’t tell who she secretly likes or doesn’t. She’s a brilliant cultivator, sharp as a blade and clever as anything; it’s no wonder that she’s kind to others in equal measure as well…”

“But -”

“She makes me feel free,” his brother said, cutting him off. “She’s just - she’s smart and she’s talented and she’s fearless, unrestrained and untamed. There’s nothing weighing her down or holding her back. She bears no expectations and no pressure, and nothing has ever forced her, molded her development in this way or that; she lives her life just drifting on the breeze, complete untethered, and when I’m with her I feel the same, and I’ve never felt that way…”

He trailed off, eyes oddly dreamy, and then suddenly he seemed to come back to himself and remember to whom he was speaking. “Anyway, what do you know about women, Qiren? You’re as frigid as an icicle hanging in the window or a mountain lake in midwinter.”

Lan Qiren acknowledged the point, but he didn’t see its relevance. “If she doesn’t like you, she doesn’t like you,” he pointed out. “There’s nothing you can do about it –”

“Are you saying there’s nothing you actually wanted from me?” his brother interrupted, voice sharp now, almost angry. “Your presence is neither wanted nor needed here. Leave at once.”

“No, it’s just – you weren’t at the hanshi, and there’s work to be done.”

“So what? I’ll do it later.”

“You’re sect leader now. You have duties,” Lan Qiren said. “You can’t just go out night-hunting whenever you wish –”

“You said it yourself, I’m sect leader - me, and me alone!” his brother snapped. “From what I recall, that makes me the one who gives the orders, not you. Now get lost!”

Lan Qiren blinked, shocked at the fierceness of the rebuke, and watched as his brother strode away – in the direction He Kexin had gone, rather than back towards the Cloud Recesses.

This, he thought to himself, is a problem.

It was, too. His brother abandoned his duties more and more often, avid in his pursuit of He Kexin, who he had invited to stay for a while at the Cloud Recesses with the friends she was travelling with. She did, as he’d said, seem to like him well enough, but it seemed clear that her regard was far more cursory than his own - and not just to Lan Qiren, either.

Lan Qiren was roped in by the elders to help do some of the work his brother was neglecting, at first a little and then more. It got in the way of his own preparations, and started getting on his nerves, too.

“You don’t understand,” one of his teachers told him when he tried to resist the notion of spending a large chunk of his time on sect paperwork instead of practicing music. “Love, for our sect, is a powerful thing. When it comes unexpectedly, it is wild and irresistible, like a river bursting through a dam and overflowing its banks. It’s no surprise that your brother is so focused on winning his bride – and all for the best, too. He has to have heirs to inherit one day.”

Lan Qiren didn’t disagree with that, naturally. He certainly didn’t want to be stuck being his brother’s heir any longer than he had to. It was only…

“Just because he’s in love with her doesn’t mean she’s going to be his bride,” he said, and wondered a little spitefully why it was just assumed that he didn’t understand what it meant to love someone. Just because he didn’t feel it the same way as they did didn’t make his heart any less a Lan. “I don’t know why you’re all being so stubborn about this. A woman knows her own mind - just because he offers himself doesn’t mean she has to accept.”

“Stop saying such inauspicious things,” his teacher scolded. “You should be wishing your brother luck, instead.”

“He doesn’t need luck,” another teacher, the one for swordsmanship, put in. “He needs more of a backbone. Doesn’t she have a father he can talk to?”

That started up another debate on the relevance of the opinion of the young in setting their own marriages, an old classic, and Lan Qiren sighed and took his leave. He winced when he realized that his brother was not far away, standing with He Kexin in one of the nearby gardens – at his brother’s cultivation level, there was little chance he hadn’t heard the subject of their conversation, and indeed his glare indicated that he had. He Kexin wasn’t looking his way, but Lan Qiren suspected she might’ve heard some as well.

His suspicions were borne out the next day, much to his misfortune.

“Mistress He!” he exclaimed, groping around wildly for his clothing. He’d been humming his way through a new stanza while taking a bath, having taken a day off to wash his hair, only to turn around and see her standing there in the middle of his quarters. “What are you – I’m not dressed – these are my rooms!”

“I know,” she said, not moving.

Lan Qiren decided his dignity was more important than his health and reached out to yank his clothing into the bath with him, ignoring how they got heavy and soaked with water; he pulled on his inner robes and, once attired, he clambered out, rather annoyed. Just because He Kexin was a rogue cultivator didn’t excuse her from knowing manners, and just because she was his brother’s favorite, granted the freedom to wander wherever she would within the Cloud Recesses, didn’t give her the right to violate his privacy. “Mistress He –”

“You’re cute,” she said, and he stared at her, aghast. “Not quite as handsome as your brother, nowhere near as charming, and the way you drone on is rather annoying, but at least you have some respect for a woman’s wishes, and that face of yours isn’t bad. You’re not courting anyone at present, is that right?”

“I’m not,” he said, taken aback. “But what –”

“Good,” she said, and the next thing he knew she was in his arms, trying to kiss him. It was only through his quick reaction that he was able to turn his face away and avoid it.

“Mistress – Mistress He!”

“Keep your voice down,” she said, sounding amused even as she groped him in an intimate place. “It’s part of the plan, eventually, but it’d still be a pity for us to get caught before we get to the fun part.”

“I don’t – I’m not – I don’t want – let go of me!”

“Are you a virgin?” she laughed. “For shame, a man of your age. Just relax, you’ll like it soon enough –”

Lan Qiren’s brother had described He Kexin as a brilliant cultivator, and he’d been right; for all that she was a rogue cultivator, lacking the resources of a Great Sect, she was talented and promising, a powerful sword cultivator in her own right, and her grip on Lan Qiren’s body was relentless.

Lan Qiren tried first to get away from her without harming her, but she wouldn’t let go of him, pulling open his robes and even burying her teeth into his throat – that was the straw too far for him; he whistled a series of notes, short and sharp, the burst of qi shocking her grip loose, and then he threw her as far away from him as he could, knocking her into the opposite wall.

“Kexin!”

Lan Qiren turned: it was his brother rushing in through his door, falling down to his knees in front of her to examine her to make sure she wasn’t injured, and then turning to look at Lan Qiren, his eyes aflame with rage.

Lan Qiren glanced down at himself: robes askew and sopping wet, scratches on his chest and a bite on his neck.

“No,” he said, abruptly realizing how he must look, how they must look. Part of the plan, He Kexin had said; she must have known that her brother wouldn’t leave her alone for very long, and she’d clearly intended on using Lan Qiren as a means to get his brother to give up on his pursuit. Very few men would continue to chase a woman that spurned them for their own younger brother, especially one they didn’t much like. “It’s not – I didn’t –” Denial wasn’t going to help. “Do not succumb to rage!”

“Do not engage in debauchery,” his brother snapped back, rising to his feet. “Do not break faith!”

Lan Qiren took a step back, and then another. “Do not make assumptions about others.”

His brother wasn’t listening, though, and Lan Qiren found himself slammed against his own wall, held up and strangled by his own collar, his favorite painting falling to the ground from the force of it.

“How dare you,” his brother hissed, his eyes red. “How dare you touch her –”

“I didn’t! She was the one who –”

The next slam of Lan Qiren’s body against the wall jarred his teeth so hard that he bit his tongue to bleeding, and knocked his brain all around his skull. His brother was still talking, he thought, but he couldn’t hear him over the ringing in his ears. It belatedly occurred to him that using the same excuse as every rapist in history – she was asking for it, she was the one who initiated, it was all her – was probably not a good idea, even if in his case it was actually true.

He opened his mouth to try to defend himself, but his brother’s fist hit his stomach before he could speak, all the air knocking out of him.

“And then you – you hurt her –”

“Qingheng-jun, leave him be! It wasn’t him at all, you’re misunderstanding. I only wanted – ”

His brother threw him away, all his attention drawn away by his love, and Lan Qiren stumbled inelegantly on his way down, his feet slipping on the wet floor and tripping him up, and his head slammed hard against the corner of his bathtub as he fell down. As he sank to the floor, his vision going black, he thought blearily that the concussion he was undoubtedly going to have might even be worth it if only it meant that his brother would finally give up on his mad and hopeless pursuit of He Kexin already.

He did not.

#mdzs #lan qiren #qingheng-jun #he kexin #my fic #my fics #spilled pearls #mind the ao3 tags

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gangrenados · 3 years

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Could you do good things and bad things about datiang the Bat boys and Bruce? I ask you for bad things because relationships aren't perfect. Please

This is my first time ever writing for Bruce sooo pls be kind it has been a rough day

•First of all of them are vigilantes which means that they might have some issues separating his hero life with the normal one no matter how hard thet might try.

•They have seen the worst part of humanity and after you have witnessed those kind of horrors there's not turning back. Every imperfection in buildings, locations that have a questionable reputation and people who seem mightily suspicious will trigger their vigilante senses.

•what I'm trying to say here? They can get protective without even notice. After being the one in the line for to long you're afraid those you love might get hurt so you'll try your fucking best to prevent it, right?

Bruce Wayne

•Bruce has a hard time accepting the love and care of others, even if you have a long term relationship Bruce might be cold and distant towards you.

•He usually doesn't care about his scars since they're consequences of trying his best to help others, but when the time to get naked in front of you comes he's slightly worried you might get disgusted because they're too many.

•Bruce gets silent when you show him pure kind love, a gentle caress on his cheek will make him snap out.

•He'll stare at you without knowing what's the right thing to do, the only thing clear onnhis mind is that he wants this to keep going.

•Sometimes you wish you could wake up or fall asleep with Bruce beside you more often. It makes you feel forgotten. Bruce has tried to stay there when you wake up, even if that means rushing home to take off the suit, slip in the cover and pretend he's sleeping.

•Bruce can be pretty romantic when he wants to. He will take you to fancy places and bought you the most prettiest things in the world, Bruce will be comfortable in those situations, talking smoothly and secure since he's trying to put a little bit of his playboy persona into this to not ruin it.

•But silly things like cooking your favorite dessert or buying a pretty thing he saw nd know it will useful to you, will get him slightly flustered. The man is afraid he might fuck up.

•If you're a mere civilian then Bruce would be petty fucking protective of you, at the point that sometimes make you wonder if he's being paranoid.

•He will install a security system in your house and car, maybe a tracker too because you never know what criminals might do to the partner of Bruce Wayne.

I•t's hard for Bruce to express his emotions and talk about them, he feels like it makes him seem weaker. But when he opens up he will pour his heart into his words, maybe he wouldn't say much, but everything that came out from his mout he meant it with his soul.

•Your fights are horrible, it leaves you both broken and wondering if this gonna be the end. Bruce is too stubborn to back down and you don't want to be the one who goes to apologize first, so you'll end up treating each other with the cold shoulder.

•It's not the type to say "I love you" constantly, he reserves those words for important moments like when he has to go to a risky mission, your anniversary or he will blurt them out when he see you doing something adorable.

•Bruce is a mysterious man and that aspect is not going to change once they start dating. You will feel that he is hiding things from you, which is true, but it will take a lot of persuasion and confidence for him to tell you what is happening or why he does not tell you things.

•Much of his reason is that he thinks that if he doesn't say anything to you you may be safe and happy in ignorance, however, he also does not want to link his romance to his work.

•Connecting in an emotional way with Jason is hard and even when you're there he tends to close and keep a lot of things to himself.

Jason Todd

•Jason hates how being in touch with his emotions makes him more vulnerable, once they see the light there's nothing that can stop the overwhelming wave of feelings that comes to drown him.

•Once Jason becomes truly comfortable around you he will get clingy. He needs you in order to him feel alright, it's like you bring up a nice part of him he wasn't even aware of it was there.

•You're the nicest thing Jason has ever had so far and he's down to do anything to make you stay. He can stop being Red Hood and live a normal live, change his personality for one you like better, whatever you want in a man Jason can try to copy it, but please don't leave him.

•He's a really attentive and supportive boyfriend, this trait is driven by his need to prove you his total love and attention because that shows he's worthy of your love. But putting that aside, Jason truly cares about you.

•Jason is not really used to receive romantic affection so he might shy away sometimes when he becomes aware of what's going on. It's like his mind can't process that other person wants to be romantic with him.

•Jason can get really protective of you and this worsen a little bit more if you're a civilian who knows little to nothing about self defense.

•Jason is a cuddle monster, having you between his arms is soothing and lovable. He loves this little domestic things, but it's better if he's the one on top of you or hugging because he can get out of the touch easier.

•It's better to not fight with Jason, he's not going to hit you or anything, in fact he prefers to cut his own arm with a fork before landing a hand on you.

•However, he can say some mean and hurtful thigs because he wants to win the argument regardless of how bad the consequences might be.

•It might not look like it, but Jason loves to do the silly cheesy things with you.

•He will engulf you into a tight hug and then give a breathless kiss anytime he comes back from a long mission, having you to cook with him regardless if you know what you're doing just because he thought it would be cute, cuddling with you in the sofa and read a book or just watch a movie (Jason will fall asleep snuggled up to you because he feels safe)

•Jason has night terrors and he can turn pretty paranoid whe he just wake up from a nightmare, so it's better if you stand back for a moment until he calms down and realizes that nothing bad is happening.

•He keeps a gun close to him in case something happens and has night light because he can truly stand to have the whole bedroom in complete darkness, also he tends to keep you close to him when you're sleeping togheter because, even when Jason is asleep, he needs to know you're there.

Dick Grayson

•Dick is a sweet boyfriend, he's caring and charming to the point that sometimes you wonder if you're dating a prince.

•Dick's supportive of your interests and will cheer you up if he feels like you're lacking motivation. He will praise you and give you a compliment whenever he notices you did something good or when you go to tell him a good new.

•It's hard to have some alone time with him thanks to his busy schedule. Dick can't stay still, he needs to work and protect the city, because he cares about the others but also needs the action to live.

•Dick is a cheerful man, the occasions were he hits rock bottom are odd but they happen.

•And he tends to close himself to the world and drown in his own sorrows for a while. It's hard to see him like this and the worst part is that he doesn't want to ask for help until his mind is a little less darker.

•Dick is a really affective boyfriend, he will grab your head and pepper it with kisses as he says how much he loves it, also he has the habbit to put an arm around your shoulders or waist whenever you're walking together.

•Another thing he always do is pulling you back to the bed and put himself on top of you so you won't go.

•Dick would nuzzle his head in the crook of your neck and give it a kiss before going back to sleep.

•Dick is a man low-key scared of commitment, but will still idolize you.

•It's hard for him to settle down and decide for one thing, he will overthink everything and try to look at your current situation for every single angle possible, however, in his eyes you're a great person, sexy and just amazing.

•He might even twist everything and think you're already dating when nothing really has been confirmed.

•Okay so this one goes for his Titans version: I don't know why, but I feel that sometimes Dick can manipulate your needs and turn them into his own desires, to be more concrete emotional blackmail.

•He could do this unconsciously and without really wanting it, because once he realizes what he did he will feel very bad about himself, which would lead him to isolate himself from you for a while to think about everything he has done and then apologizing .

•It's hard for Dick to do so because being aware of what he has done to you, but he needs you to know he feels deeply fucking sorry and he understands if you want to broke up.

Tag list @bathroom-sand @aterriblelangblr @simpery @strangerthings14 @jyarumu0619 @kellieriddle96 @adarksoul098 @rosethegothamhistorynerd @duckmylife18 @panic-attheplace @malfoys-demigod @darkraven1983 @magicisabluewish @hamdehlesmis @lucy-roo @lovelyartemisa @missmaskedwriter @c0-77 @ginevraxrogers @imagines-fluff-yandere-smut @shadygoateeprincess @nervousfandom @ghost-bitch @silverw19 @thegirlwholovesbooksblog @hecatemacbeth7 @unknowntoanyone @mistalli @screechingghostbananafarm @psych0crybaby @barnowl48 @waroncheer @lady-stirling @ghostly-ginger @greeknerd007 @caswinchester2000 @sara5208 @la-femme-lupita @jasonsballsack @violettessuniverse @wondergal21 @disnerd626 @pree-2003-blog @dreamxcollide @thirstiestpotato

#bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne x reader #bruce Wayne headcanon #jason todd imagine #Jason todd x reader #jason todd headcanon #jason todd #bruce Wayne #dick Grayson x reader #dick Grayson imagine #dick Grayson headcanon #dick Grayson blurb #jason todd blurb #bruce Wayne blurb #dc imagine #titans imagine #batboys imagines #batboys x reader #batboys

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sluttylittlewaste · 23 days

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One super fascinating thing about Kristen's current arc in JY is how much it reflects real-world conversations I've been following about effort and consistency and reliability in relationships. Specifically, I've been reading about the resentment in (primarily het) relationships caused by uneven distribution of mental load and repetivite, constant labor between partners.

Follow me now-

I've seen a few posts on here from people who have ADHD highlighting how realistic it is to their experience that Kristen is SO GOOD for doing grand acts and big miracles, but struggles so deeply with "the boring stuff". Upkeeping social media for Cassandra/YES!, consistently holding meetings to maintain whatever following she does develop for her gods, even just bi-weekly essays. I can't speak to the ADHD experience myself. However, from my relationships with people who have it and a decent amount of the posts I see on this website, that is a consistent manifestation of the disorder.

Dovetailing from that is the very real conversation I've heard time and time again about people whose family/friends/partners refuse to help with the little tasks of keeping a home in order or a project on track, but will pull through for big events under the assumption that it balances things out. It's a conversation that occurs a lot in spaces of studying gender dynamics in relationships - i.e. In a dynamic where the wife is responsible for doing all of the cooking/cleaning/grocery shopping/organizing, the husband will do a singular, high-effort task or grand gesture, "I built you an armoire!", "I took the kids out for a full day so you could relax!" and reference that singular event or task as a counterbalance for smaller tasks they do not aid in (daily dishes, laundry, running errands). This can also take the form of one partner doing grand gestures on occasion, but not showing up in smaller ways throughout the relationship on a day-to-day level.

-Ex. Partner A indicates that would appreciate more frequent affection in the relationship, such as date nights, flowers, non-sexual physical contact, etc. Partner B responds by planning a fancy dinner, gratuitous non-sexual contact/complements, and buying a lavish gift - but they do not increase displays of affection in their daily lives. Partner A mentions that though they appreciate the gesture, it didn't solve the initial problem, and Partner B doesn't understand why all of the obvious effort they put in isn't enough. The cycle continues and resentment grows as both people feel like their needs aren't being met/their efforts aren't being appreciated.

(Sorry if that's an over-explanation, I'm trying to be clear lol)

I think a lot about two things Cassandra said to Kristen:

"You're unreliable." and "It's not fair." in the context of these dynamics.

I've seen a decent number of people talk about how mutually unfair bringing Cassandra back was for both her and Kristen. I have also seen a lot of very valid arguments about Kristen being a LITERAL CHILD who makes a lot of impulsive (re: bad) decisions because she cares so deeply about specific things. We've also seen that Kristen CAN be so good in the little ways (Giving Lydia Barkrock the Help action, supporting Tracker through her bullshit, trying to do okay in school to help Riz). For all intents and purposes, there is no actual lack of effort on Kristen's part - she very obviously cares deeply. However, those efforts are more occasional and case-by-case than something constant, like going out every day to spread the word of Cassandra or doing something boring like homework.

Cassandra, whose entire thing is that she's always there to offer support -"I'm there holding your hand in the dark"- knows these things as well. She knows what Kristen is capable of. The hurt, then, doesn't come from the fact that Kristen can't but because, for some reason, she won't.

In conversations about how certain partners... underperform in relationships, one theme that often arises is that of, "I know he can do it, he simply doesn't." Whether that be daily chores or consistent acts of affection, Partner A has seen Partner B be helpful or put effort into things that they find interesting. There is no question of capability - Partner B can do whatever it is Partner A requests. Partner A thus concludes that Partner B doesn't because they don't want to. -Ex. "He refuses to help me because he doesn't care about me/He doesn't think I'm worth the effort."

While I obviously cannot make a true 1-to-1 comparison between this particular manifestation of Executive Dysfunction in people with ADHD and lackluster partners in relationships (I am aware that it is deeply harmful to imply that being a "bad" partner is in any way correlated to any singular disability), this is a degree of parallelism to be found in the Kristen/Cassandra dynamic and the type of dysfunction I reference in above examples. There is the caveat that if you have ADHD and know you struggle with doing things that are smaller or more tedious/repetitive, you can work with the people in your life to accommodate that. Additionally, men (at least in the US) are traditionally socialized to undervalue the traditional female labor that is caretaking.

That said, in universe, Kristen doesn't seem to know she has ADHD and thus could not articulate her limitations to Cassandra - and even if she could, it might not have solved the problem ( though it could have kept Cassandra from getting so upset).

The entire reason I wrote all of this is that I've seen several responses to the most recent preview for FHJY wherein Kipperlily Copperkettle accuses Kristen of not caring (and, to be clear, Kristen fully does not care about the Presidency. That is very likely what KLCK was referring to, and she is not wrong in being upset if Kristen wins this thing she hasn't even bothered to campaign AT THE SCHOOL for). The trend in the responses has been people listing Kristen's miracles more than anything, and while those do prove that she does CARE about SOME THINGS, it doesn't address the fact that for most people care is displayed through active, consistent, reliable effort rather than big dramatic displays: While the shrimp jump was cool, it does nothing to prove that Kristen gives a shit about student government.

#this is barely coherent #there's just this wild juxtaposition that I feel like comes up a lot on Tumblr #it seems to happen specifically with ND characters that people see a lot of themselves in #where even if the flaws and complications of that Neurodivergence are being assessed and deconstructed #people will plant their feet on “she can do no wrong!”#and sometimes it's whatever because it's just a fictional character #but other times #like with Kristen Applebees #where the defensiveness has the flavor or being deeply honest #which concerns me #like I truly hope y'all are putting more effort into handling real world criticism than you do with fictional shit #the instantaneous demonization of anyone who isn't tooth grindingly supportive of the Bad Kids (namely Kristen) is worrying #kipperlily is allowed to be mad at Kristen for winning! She may have done some shifty shit #but you can't say she didn't try really hard to win #and Kristen didn't even do her own shrimp jump. she only ran because she immediately disliked kipperlily #and ever Kristen's reason for disliking Kipperlily isn't fair???#Like it started before they realized the whole rat grinder conspiracy #she just didn't like that Kipperlily was a Type A overachiever #which has nothing to do with Copperkettle #and everything to do with Kristen's own insecurities #as for the relationship aspect #i have a lot of concerns about how people on Tumblr talk about relationships #let me die #if i die #d20 fhjy #fhjy #dimension 20 #rant #kristen applebees #i guess

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pedrosbrat · 3 years

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Sorrow You Are My Light {Pero Tovar x Max Phillips x F!Reader}

CHAPTER I : Insomnia

AU - Vampire Hunters

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: Angst, Nightmares, Language, alcohol, yearning, violence (fight) , mention of murder, sword, blood …

Summary: You and Pero were united by fate in your youth due to a tragic event. You will seek revenge from the creature that caused your common suffering all your life without success... Until you cross paths with Max Philips, forcing you to form an alliance with an enemy to destroy a common foe...

Little Comment : Hi everyone, it’s my first series, I hope you will like it (if you see any mistakes let me know and I will correct it) - 1 chapter will be published every week, every Saturday⚔️ Enjoy!

Series Masterlist

1440- Transylvania

You have been travelling on horseback for a little more than two days now, with a weather changing from very hot to very rainy, and usually it doesn't bother you, at least not really, because Pero has the decency to take breaks, it has always been like that. But for the first time in decades of travelling together, he has refused to take any breaks, because he says you are close to the goal.

You can understand it, and you feel it too, but you would still like to be able to rest, not feeling your legs or even feeling your buttocks... You don't even know if you don't feel them anymore because of the total absence of sensation from sitting on your horse for this long, or if the pain you felt yesterday has taken over and has become a friend, and the only company you feel at this moment.

Because despite his presence, Pero is far too absorbed in the mission. This is nothing new, in fact, he has always been like this, only usually he has the good sense to admit that sleep is important for a good fight, as well as a somewhat adequate physical form...

"If we are attacked by a vampire now Pero I won't be able to fight". You say as you catch up to him slightly at a gallop. "Stop complaining," he says, slightly grumpier than his natural temperament, which is bound to be an effect of lack of sleep. "I'm not complaining, I'm just right! You know very well that the lack of rest will eventually kill us, if it is not the horses that die long before us! You say, slightly annoyed by his behaviour.

He stopped short, and turned to face you, grimacing, probably aching and exhausted, unconsciously proving your point: "If he runs away, he'll kill more people! You seem to forget what this thing is capable of!" "Forget?!" you say, widening your eyes, increasingly annoyed.

Vampires: demonic beings that have occupied the lands of your country since your childhood. At first, in your youth, their presence was only a myth, which some people described as mad swore they had seen, but as time went on, the world realised that it was all real. These decaying beings, who have no chance of finding the light again, their gaze completely absorbed in the darkness, surrounded by veins resembling the shade of smoke enveloping the sky and covering all traces of the sun. They are the shadows that will hide the light of all normal life since your youth... Since that night sixteen years ago...

You know that Pero can be stubborn, but he is not so deeply stubborn that he tries to pretend to anyone who doesn't know him, although he hides it quite well, he is a gentle man and a good man... Except when he really decides otherwise, as he has done for the last forty-eight hours. So you don't try to argue or have a simple debate with him on the subject, because you know very well what he's talking about and you don't want to talk about it... You've already had enough nightmares since you were a child, so you don't need that.

You gallop alone towards the big city, from where you are not so far now, determined to make a big turn, to let your horse rest, and to rest at the same time in a real bed, and not stones under a sheet for a pillow or an old tavern of the village where you were hunting.

It doesn't matter if he follows you or not, you're far too tired and suffering to care at the moment, and being a very good tracker, you know you'll be able to find him if only a few hours separate you from each other, and at least you'll be able to fight effectively if something happens.

⊱•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •⊰

The city is not as jovial as it usually is. You don't know why, of course, but there's a sort of silent restlessness that mingles with an almost empty square, leaving a black shadow over all those little houses, like a feeling deep inside you that you can see floating over the city.

"Anything interesting in the sky Paloma?"

You turn, coming out of the thoughts that had completely absorbed you, to find that Pero is at your side, handing you a piece of cheese, which he must have bought at the entrance of the city, and that you grab without hesitation the rumbling belly for any substitute of food... His way of apologizing and telling you that you are right, even if he will never admit it out loud...

Pero will never admit it, but he doesn't like to see you turning your back on him. He likes your presence, even if he doesn't express it, he likes to see you smiling, annoying him, lecturing him. He likes the way you've been waddling around on your horse for the last few days, and he knows it's only because of the pain he's putting you through, and that he shouldn't like to see that, he feels a little bad about it at times.... But you are so beautiful... And that ass, God only knows how many times he's dreamed of it bouncing off him...

"Nothing special, just a bad feeling" you say, taking a bite of the end of your feeble dish, "...I don't really believe in feelings you know, but for once I have to give it to you..." he says, kicking the sides of his horse to start galloping "No we should let the king know we're back, maybe he'll explain what's going on.

You nod and follow him, speeding up in your turn, not missing the crosses on the front of each house, as well as some silver objects in front of the windows, which normally would have been looted by the small thieves of the city, but even they don't seem to want to touch them... You start to understand what is going on but don't go forward, hoping that the bad luck hasn't come to your place of living once again, where you and Tovar have decided to stay for more than two years now.

⊱•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •⊰

The throne room which is usually decorated with berries on every table, and bright silk draperies falling from the chandeliers to the ceiling, adorning the sides of the windows are not present, leaving the room in a dullness and sadness that the king and queen usually do not like. But they don't seem to mind, in fact in this room where all the lords are gorging themselves and filling up, they think it is much more agitated than the atmosphere outside. An almost incomprehensible hubbub envelops the room, leaving the king before you, not uttering a word, eyes fixed on you, nodding towards a guard at the back of the room, leading to the inner corridors of the castle, a neutral look on his face, leaving his wife and lords to shout complaints and fears into every ear.

He stands up curtly as the others in the room don't take the decency to stop talking as they usually would, leaving the king to walk out the back door, with you on his heels.

"Where were you?!" He says before you can even close the door to the large hallway, "On the trail of one of them my king" Pero says, bowing his head slightly. "And?" Said the king as he placed his index finger and thumb on his nose, as if trying to relieve a headache. "We had a trail... But we got away from it because of me" you say as you look the king in the eye, not flinching, assuming that a disaster may be looming over the city because of you.

The king doesn't answer and starts pacing in front of you before continuing silently, in a calm and gentle manner that must have always been endowed with "It's nothing... I think you might have guessed it when you returned to the city, but one of them is attacking an area near here..." "And no one was AVAILABLE to stop it?... Dios mío..." says pero a little annoyed that everyone is waiting on you two. "Oh, there were many volunteers... But none came back."

You turn your gaze to Tovar understanding without him actually saying it, what the king is asking you. He nods and you do the same before turning to the king, "Where? Where did you send them?" you say, already beginning to think you're going to regret it, "The Singing Mountain... There was... If you had seen what happened there...".

He couldn't finish his sentence and squinted hard, as if to chase away painful memories buried behind his eyelids. "We've seen it all our lives," Pero said before bowing and walking out to cross the throne room. You do the same, "It will be dark soon, we can't leave now, it would be too dangerous. But at dawn we'll get started. You don't share any contact with him, out of royal respect, and simply turn on your heels to join Pero, already far away, probably thinking of a plan for tomorrow.

⊱•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •⊰

Your little house is on the outskirts of the village, a little out of the way, not that you don't like the presence of other people, but you are simply used to living like this: just the two of you.

You had already tried to live in separate houses in the village when you arrived two years ago, but every night was cut short by panicked screams and the search for comforting warmth next to you, visions and nightmares that you hadn't had in years, memories that were buried in the depths of your mind, every moment and every night that you spent in Pero's arms.

And you know that it was the same for him, even if he never mentioned it. He didn't have to. The simple fact that he would leave his house at one end of town in the middle of the night to join you under the sheets without saying anything and just let you snuggle up to him as you have done since you were children. So, you drifted away from the villagers, refusing to attach yourself to anyone else, only needing each other, sleeping together to hunt and seek comfort from the demons that plague you both when night falls. And sometimes even sharing each other's presence you feel that you are missing something... It's weird, and you don't know what it is. You don't talk about it... But you both feel it as well...

After setting up silver dust, under foliage all around your home and bringing back some stew that an old lady gave you in the village, thanking you for protecting them, and drinking a large pint of beer that Pero had left out in the house, you both finish your well-deserved meal in silence, savouring every mouthful of stew with a deliciousness like you've never tasted before... Or maybe you're just so hungry that everything would seem like a delicacy right now.

The same goes for the bed, having obviously finished before Pero who always takes a second bite and calls you "paloma", which according to what he told you simply means that you don't eat much for someone who is always crying out for food, like a little bird. You quickly head for your room so that you can have a nice bath without being disturbed by his lack of patience who you know would be there asking you every thirty seconds if you were almost finished, wanting to take a bath as well. So you were able to enjoy it fully until the water cooled, letting your muscles relax from the tumultuous journey and the stress dissolve for a short moment you cherished.

"I heard people talking about this mountain when we first arrived..." says Pero from the bathroom, waking you from your near sleep, now lying on the bed "Mmmh..." you reply far too tired to utter a word. Eyes still closed, you sit up slightly, knowing that he won't stop there. "The villagers always said that the devil lived in his heart... I didn't really pay attention to it, since there was never a murder... At least until now.”

You open your eyes hearing his voice much closer than it was a few seconds ago, and the reason being that he is standing by the bed, with only a sheet around his hips, placing his weapons beside him as he always does before going to bed. And for your part you try to look away as you always do before going to bed. At least when you sleep in a bed with him. At first it was quite simple and automatic not to look at him when you were younger and when he is only "dressed" like that... But lately it has become quite difficult... It has become quite difficult to avoid the vision of his broad shoulders and that torso getting thinner and thinner towards his waist, that aqualine nose that you imagine between your legs, before placing kisses on it as on his perfect lips and this goddamn perfect little line on it... And that scar on his beautiful obsidian black puppy-dog eyes, even if you're almost sure he doesn't like it, that scar on his face...That scar gives him a crazy charm... And everytime it become impossible to avoid to look at the droplets falling from his deep chocolate curls, sliding down that nape of his neck that you wish you could mark with your lips, to end up around his pure silver cross, shining on his golden and bronze skin...

It's become so hard to ignore this man who's practically become a god under your hungry eyes, as hard as it is to ignore the coming arousal that you feel between your legs as you watch him walk around in his armor or the mere sight of the veins and muscles in his neck give you unholy thoughts...

You turn around and help yourself to your sheets, crossing your legs to try and forget what you'd like him to do to you in that room and bed right now, thinking about how you probably wouldn't have the energy for it, and you fall asleep quicker than you thought you would, already with your mind bent on what you might find on that mountain tomorrow...

Pero watches your body rise and fall slightly with every breath you take and exhale, as he has been doing every night for the past few years... Since he was old enough to understand that you were no longer just a friend to him, that he was no longer indifferent to your curves, that he would watch you come out of the bathroom out of the corner of his eye and bend over the bed to admire your buttocks that he always imagined grabbing tightly in his hands... But he never did and was content to watch you fall asleep with your back to him, now that he can no longer see you come out with a simple sheet around you, your hair wet and your skin steaming from the good bath he would have liked to share with you... He is only content to fall asleep following your breaths, wanting deep down, much more of his Paloma...

⊱•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •⊰

You have galloped and walked all day to get to this cursed place, making you arrive around mid-day, when the sun begins its descent towards the west.

The forest is not dancing as usual, and the birds, being the reason why this mountain is called the singing mountain by their chirping, have seemingly disappeared singing no more from this cursed place under a river now red with blood. A putrid, foul smell that you can't miss is present on the scene. No bodies. Lots of blood.

"I've never seen this..."

You don't respond to his remark, but you know exactly what he is talking about. A river turned red with blood, accompanied by the smell of death, yet showing no sign of a body near the water or even in the forest you've just passed through.

Vampires kill, and abandon the corpse, having no interest in keeping the body, or if they really want a use for it, they transform the person, but in this case if, the smell of decomposing corpse and the river of blood should not be present at the scene.

"I don't like this Pero...".

He doesn't answer and just grunts before pulling out his sword and pushing you back slightly. You do the same and pull out your sword, never having doubted his ability to sense the presence of another being, other than the two of you. "It's not dark enough for it to be one," you say, watching carefully around you. "The king would never send his men out in the middle of the night," he says, passing you some silver powder. "How..."

You don't finish your sentence and freeze. Your hands tighten on the hilt of your sword, and you look into the shadows of the forest at the glowing yellow eye sockets. A man you can't make out is watching you without moving. Pero notices this too and pushes you behind him, instinctively as he does every time, even though he knows you can defend yourself, he never misses an opportunity to throw himself between you and the danger... And you will do the same for him when the opportunity arises.

"Come here!" he shouted with a smile, taunting this bloodsucking bastard, who for his part did not move a muscle. He's watching both you, and you're getting more and more worried, not understanding why he's not attacking you, as they all do. This is not a usual behaviour from them... What is going on here...

Your question evaporates as he evaporates, not approaching you, or attacking you. You tug lightly on Pero's arm, asking him to return to the horse. He didn't insist and followed you, sword in hand, running and climbing on the horses as fast as he could.

"What was that?!" you shouted at him at a gallop not far from him, who stopped dead in his tracks a few paces away from you "Pero what..." "I don't know!" he says, a growing frustration in his eyes that you know only too well, a look he gets when he is about to do something impulsive. "Pero you're not going back!" "He didn't attack us..." "That doesn't mean he won't next time! What's wrong with you?!" You say completely dumbfounded by your best friend, willing to risk his life to prove a point.

FUCK PERO!

You follow him in spite of yourself, knowing that you couldn't forgive yourself for leaving him to die alone in those woods, whether it was his choice or not.

A million thoughts go through your head as Pero is hit by something. You jump off your horse and swing your sword at a man in your path, a man who did not flinch at the shock of a galloping horse. You throw a sword at him which he quickly avoids and disappears again, but you know this kind of technique well, you have fought them all your life. You grab a dagger in your other hand and stand back-to-back with pero who has just straightened up.

"I told you we should have left," you say, more than a little frustrated by events that could have been avoided. "This is not the time." He says as he begins to fight the creature in front of you, moving far too quickly for you to anticipate any movement.

He's faster. Smarter than anything you've encountered before, and despite Pero's ability to inflict some cuts with his pure silver sword, the vampire doesn't give in. But it doesn't kill us for all that... A sentence that goes through your head thinking that it could kill you both in a few seconds if it really wanted to... No, this thing is looking for something...

You don't take any more chances and grab your powder and throw it at the thing, which is screaming in pain, looking at you with reddened eyes, sharp fangs and black veins around its eyes like you've never seen before... "PERO THE HORSES!". He thinks for half a second about killing this thing here and now, but sees the powder starting to dissipate and prefers not to risk both of you getting killed here and now... Not to risk YOUR death here and now which would ultimately be his fault...

You gallop off without looking back, not understanding what you just saw.

⊱•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •⊰

"PERO WHAT DID YOU DO THERE?!" you say as you slam the door of the house and drop your weapons on the floor "You could have gotten us both killed! You saw what that thing did!" "It didn't kill us... Why?" he says as he sits down on one of the chairs calmly, too calm for what just happened "Is that really the only thing that bothers you about what just happened Pero?!" you say as you bang on the table.

He straightens up curtly and approaches you with a dark look in his eyes, "Aren't you even asking yourself that question? Don't you want to know why he left us alive? Why didn't he kill us or just jump down our throats and kill us like they all do? ¡Miénteme! LIE TO ME?! TRY LYING TO ME!" He says, banging on the table in turn.

You don't respond, knowing he's right, but you can't help it, impulsive behaviour like that could have killed you both. "I shouldn't have gone back there I know that Paloma... But I don't understand..." he says more calmly trying to apologize in his own way. You take him in your arms, understanding that he acted in incomprehension and panic "I also wonder Pero but don't ever do that again... He was smarter... Faster... And seems to control himself in front of living people... We never had to deal with that" you say holding him tighter, also needing a little comfort, adrenaline gradually coming down.

"She's right!"

You flinch and Pero pulls his sword straight out pushing you behind him, hearing a voice coming from your kitchen. Your eyes widen as you realise that the vampire you fought a few hours ago is the man in the room...

"Your powder has no effect on me, cuties... Should you have tried the wooden stakes?" he says, leaning slowly against one of the walls in front of you. "The wooden stakes are too big, a risk. You have to get too close and we're not stupid enough for that," Pero says dryly.

Those features... A protruding jaw, puppy dog eyes that dominate a fierce rage and that aquiline nose... You turn to Pero and move from him to this man, noticing that your friend, has similar features with this creature in front of you even if his hair is longer than pero, but he doesn't seem to really care or even notice it, it's actually the least of his concerns "Why are we still alive? "He says, putting his weapon on the table behind him, understanding that this creature does not intend to kill you, that if it really wanted to, it would not have bothered to let you go and then follow you and interrupt you... Or would have simply killed you in this forest.

He took a step closer but changed his mind when he saw that Pero was keeping a hand on one of his weapons. "Because I'm not the one you're looking for" says the vampire. Pero looked at you wide-eyed and started to laugh, a dark laugh, far from being amused by the situation. "Do you hear that? Now they're coming to our house to haggle," he said, jostling you slightly, still not making you smile.

You know that side of Pero. That unstable side that loses control of itself and doesn't know how to deal with the information and emotions it receives, which are far too numerous to process quickly enough for events that are far too unfamiliar to its eyes. And you don't blame him because you yourself don't know how to deal with it all. "I'm not happy about talking to you..." you say, trying not to play on each other's nerves. "...But you haven't killed us yet, so I'll give you a minute to explain what you want from us."

He stares at you for a few seconds, examining you from head to toe, not missing the look of disgust and hatred on your face. "You're looking for my creator... And I need you to kill him" he said, staring into your eyes, a teasing smile on his face, very sure of himself, yet very serious about the words he just said "Vampires are normally very attached to their creator, I think you're setting us up" you said, crossing your arms "She can't understand that if I wanted you dead you'd have been dead long ago!

He disappeared for a few seconds and found himself next to you, making you jump up and grab tovar's sword behind you to point it at him. He stared at the blade and ran his finger over it, causing smoke to billow from his skin, like at the end of a fire. "I'm not one of the little vampires you usually fight, which makes me... superior to what you're used to..." Tovar rolled his eyes and stepped in front of you, again, instinctively offering his body as a barrier to protect you, letting the man finish, always having a thought of skewering him at any moment "... I'm not dependent on him... At least not completely. But I don't serve him like all those vermin you hunt every day, who don't know how to control themselves or even think for themselves."

He loosens his last words with a more than visible disgust, arranging his clothes and slowly walking around the table without taking his eyes off you. "I don't depend on him. I'm not attached to him in any way... At least not emotionally... Physically it's something else: I can't kill him, not with my own hands." he says, staring deeply into the wood of the table, as if he could see his own reflection there.

"And you need us for that?!" Pero laughed a dark laugh like you've never heard, now less and less amused by the situation, knowing that he could launch himself at the thing in front of you at any moment. You grab him by the arm before he does something stupid and pull him away from the vampire "We should do it Pero." He widened his eyes and reached up to your face, grabbing your cheeks, as if to check that you hadn't been bewitched. You clapped his hands and told him you were fine before continuing, "If he leads us to his master..." "HE'S NOT MY MASTER!" he shouts from across the room letting you know that he can hear anything you say.

You look at Pero and let him know you'll explain the rest later by miming dust between your fingers, as you've done since you were little, before continuing "When he leads us to his MASTER, we can at least find out where he is and kill him! That's what we've wanted for weeks, Pero."

He's not thrilled. He realizes the danger you're going to face and knows that you've already faced a lot of such danger in your life... But he's not excited. He doesn't know if he can trust the information this thing has just given him, and if he should trust it at all. He doesn't want to have to trust it, and he can see in your eyes that you don't want to either... But he also understands that you have no choice after the king's request. So he lets his gaze shift from yours to the vampire's. "Okay. We leave tomorrow morning," he says, stepping around you and approaching the vampire, a more stern look on his face than he usually wears "... But if you were foolish enough to betray us, know this..." "... That you'll kill me?" he cuts Tovar off with a laugh and moves closer to him "And I'll let you do beautiful."

You chuckle and cross your arms and squint your eyes, amused "We already don't trust you..." "I know that sweetheart" "...BUT that's no reason to lie to us" you say, raising your voice, slightly annoyed by his condescending air.

He tries to get around Tovar, who won't let him pass, and shakes his head to let him know he's definitely not going to approach you. "Believe me..." he said as he put his gaze into yours, a serious, not amused gaze "... If I tell you I'd let you do it it's simply that I'd rather it be you than him."

He nodded to you, then to Tovar, and walked towards the front door.

"Oh, and I'd rather be Max Phillips than 'that thing'," he said as he closed the door behind him, leaving you and Tovar in a state of anxiety and nervousness the likes of which you hadn't had in a long time, leaving you both that night alive to the slightest background noise, the slightest shadow passing through the thin draperies of your windows...

•

Chapter 2

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gamerwoo · 3 years

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[Tales from the Pack] Chan: Homewrecker (Part Four)

Characters: Chan x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, fantasy, angst, mention of attempted suicide, mentions of abuse, a tiny bit of fluff at the end

Word count: 2,410

Summary: Chan caught your attention as soon as your eyes met across the market. Something about him drew you to him, and you knew you were meant to be. However, you were already taken and arranged to be married on your next birthday, so you could never be together.

Previous | Next | Homewrecker Masterlist

“No,” Soonyoung stated.

Chan gave the alpha an incredulous look, “What do you mean ‘no’?”

“She’s engaged to the mayor’s son, Chan,” Soonyoung explained, rubbing his temples as he tried to figure out how to go about all this. “We can’t kidnap her, the entire town will be out hunting us. That fucking twerp already has hunters out in the woods every goddamn night.”

“Seungcheol would say--”

“Well I’m your original alpha; your real alpha,” Soonyoung snapped before the younger wolf could even finish his sentence. “Before we found them, I was the one who watched out for you.”

“Jihoon and Seungcheol are my alphas now too,” he stated. “I’d rather listen to them if they tell me I can save _____.”

“Ah, so you have selective obedience now? Fantastic. Well, if you get yourself arrested or tortured or murdered, you’ll know why.”

“I’d do any of that if it meant saving _____ from Donghae!”

Soonyoung sighed deeply, letting his head drop against the kitchen table, “Chan, you didn’t even tell her she’s your mate. You can’t just assume she’d want to stay with you.”

Chan frowned, getting more and more angry with the alpha by the second, “What do you know? You’ve never even had a mate!”

“You’re right, Chan!” Soonyoung stated, slamming his palms down on the smooth surface as he lifted his head up and smiled angrily at Chan. “You are absolutely right. I wish I had one so I wasn’t going out every other night just trying to find my mate, but we don’t always get what we want, do we? Ask Joshua about it, he knows better than anybody. In fact, if you act impulsively, _____ is going to end up like Lilly, too!”

Chan’s mouth closed, his jaw set as his eyes darted to the floor. He knew Soonyoung was right, and he also knew he shouldn’t have said what he said. He didn’t realize the alpha was so lonely and that was why he slept around. He thought maybe he just had a really high sex drive or something, honestly.

“Soonyoung, I’m--”

“I understand your frustration, Chan,” Soonyoung said, his voice much calmer now. “I know you want to protect her, but we need to wait until we have a solid plan. Especially with that tracker on her, we can’t do anything.”

“Her birthday in two weeks,” Chan reported, glancing up to look at the alpha. “Do you think we’ll have a plan by then?”

“Absolutely,” he nodded. “We’ll just need help.”

“Help?” Jia spoke up as she entered the kitchen, one arm hooked through Minghao’s while her other held her cane. “Help with what?”

“Chan’s mate is in a bit of trouble, and we need to get her out in two weeks time,” Soonyoung explained, giving a quick synopsis of the situation. “The problem is she’s engaged to the son of an important man in town, and she’s being tracked.”

“Tracked?” Minghao repeated, settling his mate down in a chair. “Tracked by who?”

“No, they…” Chan trailed off, not even wanting to think about what Donghae did to you.

“Her asshole fiancé put a tracker in her,” Soonyoung spoke up in place of the upset pup. “We need to get her out without anybody knowing.”

Minghao sucked in a sharp breath, “Ouch…”

“We’ll definitely need the assistance of Shua at the very least,” Soonyoung said, already trying to think of a plan. “I don’t know how he’ll feel going into town, though. After Lilly, he doesn’t like going unless he absolutely has to.”

“If it’s to help somebody, I think he’ll do it,” Jeonghan shrugged with a nod. “Especially if it’s to help a mate.”

“Who’s Lilly?” Eunjin wondered, suddenly appearing in the doorway to the kitchen.

The banshee was almost like a ghost, nobody even hearing her walk over or knowing she was listening, but she just appeared out of seemingly nowhere. Although, it was sometimes funny because she’d even catch the werewolves off guard and make them jump.

Soonyoung looked at Minghao, then Chan, then his eyes flashed up at the ceiling, knowing Joshua could probably hear them, “Ah…story for a different time. Is anybody hungry? I can make breakfast.”

“Everybody who can remotely cook is asleep,” Minghao pointed out.

“Eh, it’s fine,” the alpha waved the concern away as he stood up from his seat. “Jia, how’d you sleep last night? Anything interesting happen?”

The blind girl let out a soft sigh, resting her chin on her palm, “Wonwoo had another nightmare, and Junhui had his bird dream again.”

“…Bird dream?” Chan repeated, quirking an eyebrow.

“Junhui has a reoccurring nightmare about a giant bird trying to feed him to its young,” Minghao explained, holding back a laugh. “Now he’s terrified of birds.”

“There’s also Josh’s dreams about Lilly,” Chan noted. “She says he dreams about Lilly a lot.”

“Seriously, who is Lilly?” Seungkwan’s mate pushed, wanting to know about the girl she’d never heard about. “You don’t have to tell me everything, I just want to know who she is. I have...a...feeling.”

“Feeling?” Jia repeated curiously, eyes darting over to where she’d heard Eunjin’s soft voice.

Soonyoung shrugged, “Eunjin’s part of the pack now. Might as well tell her.”

Minghao let out a deep sigh, running his slender fingers through his hair as he sat down beside his mate, “Lilly was Joshua’s mate.”

“Was?”

“She…passed away,” Chan replied awkwardly. “Joshua doesn’t like anybody talking about it, but that’s basically all you need to know.”

“Don’t werewolves die without their mate?” she wondered, settling in a chair and curling her knees to her chest.

“If their mate dies, a werewolf has another chance to find another mate. The heartbreak, though…” Minghao trailed off, remembering how awful it was to see Joshua that way.

“It’s difficult to live through,” Soonyoung continued where his brother had left off. “It makes you depressed as hell, but it won’t kill you like being denied will. I can’t even tell you how many times Joshua tried to kill himself because of it. The pain is too much to deal with.”

As the older wolves spoke, Chan just listened and thought about what Soonyoung had said. If Chan did anything wrong, you could end up like Lilly. Just imagining anything like that happening to you made his inner wolf whine softly. But the two werewolves just chalked it up to him being upset over their dead sister.

“I think that’s enough about her for now,” Soonyoung decided after hearing Chan’s whimper. “Back to breakfast. You’re all growing boys and girls.”

Chan just rolled eyes, trying to get out of the negative headspace, “Soonyoung, we’re all adults.”

Soonyoung turned around, pointing at the youngest with the tip of the knife he held in his hand, “No, you and Eunjin are our babies. So sit down and be quiet, pup.”

Donghae knew nothing of your meeting with Chan last night -- which you thought you had dreamed, honestly. The only reason you knew it was real was because he had left a note, promising to meet you again tonight.

Once you managed to get yourself out of bed despite the aches in your body, your mother flashed you a worried look. You knew your family did care about your well-being, but their fear of Donghae’s power outweighed their care for you. Therefore, you felt they didn’t truly care enough about you at all.

Maybe Chan’s promise to get you out of there wouldn’t be so bad. In fact, you trusted the boy much more than anybody else at this point.

“Donghae requested to see you, _____,” your mother told you as she kneaded dough for bread, flour coating her apron, and making patches on her cheeks. “Do you need your father to escort you?”

“No,” you laughed dryly, knowing Donghae would know if you arrived without veering off course anyway, “I’ll be fine.”

“What’s so funny?” she wondered, pausing her actions to give you her full attention.

“Nothing,” you replied, shaking your head. “I’ll be back later.”

You slipped on some shoes before leaving the house, making sure the door was closed behind you before you let out a groan. Why would Donghae want to see you? Hadn’t he done enough? He’d left you alone after he hit you so what made him feel the need to bring you back all of a sudden? You didn’t have any answers he was looking for, so you were basically useless to him.

As you walked to his house, you made sure to avoid the marketplace, knowing he’d get upset if he saw you going through there even if it was just to get to his house faster. Instead, you went around, grumbling unhappily to yourself about how ridiculous he was.

You truly hoped Chan could save you from this life.

Before you could even knock on Donghae’s door, he opened it with a toothy smile that seemed too happy, “Ah, _____! I’ve been expecting you.”

“I know,” you muttered, but he didn’t catch it as he had turned away to walk back into his house. “Is there a reason?”

“Do I need a reason to see my dear fiancée?” he wondered, his voice laced with a charm that would’ve had any girl swooning.

Any girl except the one who knew what he was really like.

“No, I suppose not,” you replied, knowing if you talked back to him, you’d definitely be in for it.

He paused at the bottom of the stairs, turning to face you as he held an arm out to you, apparently wanting to take your hand, “I thought I could share something with you. Do you happen to know of Kang Soomin?”

Your brows furrowed as you cautiously took his hand, letting him lead you up the stairs to his office, “I believe so, yes.”

You knew Soomin was a kind girl who lived alone on the very edge of town. She used to live with a kind old woman -- strange, but that gave her charm -- until she unfortunately passed away. You used to see the pretty girl alone in the market, but you hadn’t seen her for a long time. So you were curious as to why Donghae brought her up so suddenly.

Donghae’s house had many stories to it considering his father was very wealthy, so he brought you to one of the windows that faced the direction of Soomin’s cottage. Even with her house being on the edge of town, you could clearly see the large pile of black ash from where you were.

You tried not to show any emotion, your gasp getting caught in your throat.

“She had run off with one of the brothers of your little...friend,” Donghae told you, his voice low and menacing as he stared out at what used to be Soomin’s house. “We had caught her and her mate before, but they escaped. Nobody knows where they went, but I can assure you that they will be found.”

He looked at you, expecting a response. You just nodded, not wanting to anger him more. If he thought you were on their side, he’d have you killed for sure.

“This is what happens to those who hang around with those monsters,” he warned. “It happened to Soomin, and it’ll happen to that pack and their disgusting mates when the hunters find them.”

“Good,” you gulped, unable to tear your eyes away from the ash. You had no idea that was what happened to Soomin, but you hoped she managed to get away safely, and that the pack had been protecting her, but you’d never say that to Donghae. “Werewolves are…bad…”

‘Very convincing, ___,’ you thought to yourself, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything awful about Chan.

“Of course they are,” he agreed, giving you a skeptical look. “You’d know better than anybody, wouldn’t you?”

As you finally turned away from the awful view to look at your fiancé, who was an even worse view, all you could think was, ‘I sure do.’

As promised, Chan showed up again that night. This time, though, he brought you ice wrapped in cloth; lots and lots of ice in cloth. You were sure you needed ice packs for your cheeks considering how warm they felt when he made you lay down so he could place them on your bruises.

“So,” he began once you were relaxed onto the bed, “we have a plan.”

“Already?” you asked, surprised the pack had managed to come up with a way to save you in one day. “That was…fast.”

“You said you get married two weeks from now,” he stated, kneeling on the floor, and resting his arms on the edge of your bed. “The night before, we’re coming to get you exactly at midnight. It’ll be the morning of your birthday, so we need to get you out of here before the ceremony. We just need the spare time until then to...figure some things out.”

You frowned, “Midnight? How will we manage?”

“We have fantastic eyesight,” he flashed you a cocky grin. “Plus, I’m quite fast. I’ll get you out of here in no time with a little help from my pack.”

“What about the tracker?” you asked slowly, almost forgetting the square chip in your arm.

Now, Chan was frowning, “Well…we’ll have to get it out.”

Your face contorted like you were already uncomfortable, “...How bad will it hurt?”

“We’re cutting open your arm and taking something out of it,” he sighed, not liking the idea of you being in pain. Quickly, he added, “But one of my brothers can heal you! It’ll only hurt for a minute, and then he’ll make it feel better. I promise.”

“I’ll do anything if it means getting out of here,” you admitted, your eyes looking toward the ceiling now. “There’s nothing worse than Donghae.”

“_____,” Chan’s voice was quiet and soft when he spoke to you again, but it grabbed your attention as if he had shouted, “if he ever hit you again…you’d tell me, right?”

“Would you want me to tell you?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

He was silent for a moment, just staring at you, “I just do.”

“Okay,” you nodded, “I’ll tell you.”

He smiled softly, a soft grumble sounding in his chest. He stroked your hair back, changing the subject, and talking with you until you finally fell asleep, listening to the sound of Chan’s voice.

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playlistmusings · 3 years

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Everyone knows you're the way to my heart (Chapter 5)

(1) Prologue (2) Yelled down the hall, but nobody answered (3) Always surprised by what I'd do for love, Some things I'll never expect (4) But I feel something when I see you now (5) And I've never seen you smiling so big

Chapter 5- And I've never seen you smiling so big

Cardan felt like he was floating, or perhaps this was the most grounded he had felt in years. Jude looked dazed and a little terrified, her eyes fixed on his palm flat on her thigh. Cardan moved to stand up, to leave the room before he did something he regretted, like telling her that he knew she loved him-- or even worse, told her that he loved her-- but as his fingers instinctively flexed on her thigh as he moved to rise out of his seat, Jude let out a soft gasp and Cardan knew this was it. This would be a defining moment, for worse or for better, something was going to change and Cardan couldn't do anything to stop it.

Jude's eyes moved up from her thigh to look up at Cardan, full of so many different emotions as they worked their way up his chest and made Cardan uncharacteristically self conscious of the way his top four buttons were undone, exposing chains and necklace that glittered over top his chest. As her gaze reached his neck her soft voice filled the air, "Cardan? Why do you have the same necklace as me?"

"What?" He removed his hand from her leg and walked away from her spot at the table, annoyed that all the build up was seemingly for nothing, that Jude would brush all their, her, feelings under the rug and pretend like nothing had happened.

As the pain from the necklace rose steadily on his chest, he heard Jude stand up behind him. When she spoke he could tell by the tension between her words that her hands were undoubtedly in tight fists, swinging at her sides as she paced, through the tension between her words. "I just-- Cardan, we have the same damn necklace. The one I got from the Roach to find you. I just don't understand why you would have a tracking necklace and still be so determined to avoid me. It just doesn't make any sense."

Cardan turned around to face her again, confusion coloring his face, briefly wondering what the actual fuck Jude was rambling about before she cut off his train of thought.

"Oh no, no, no, no. Oh, I'm sorry-- I didn't even think that-- Sorry, I just, sorry." Her eyes pierced his soul while she said the last word, looking as close to sincere as Cardan could ever imagine Jude being.

"Jude, what are you talking about?"

If it were possible for Jude to look even more embarrassed and apologetic, that's what happened as the words left Cardan's mouth. Her eyes refused to meet his as the next words spilled out.

"I didn't even think that maybe you were trying to find someone else. I was so caught up in myself and you and me that I didn’t even think that maybe you would be looking for someone else. I mean, you're constantly around people, why would you even care about me? Why wouldn't you have a necklace to know where a friendwas?" The word friend came out sounding like she had poison on her lips, as if the only thing stopping her from spitting it out at his face was the chaos in her mind. And that's when it clicked into place.

Jude was jealous. She was jealous of some unnamed, unknown-- nonexistent, Cardan's mind supplied-- person that took up his time and, he barely let himself think, space in his heart. Cardan had to struggle not to laugh, he knew she loved him and he loved her and here they were, about to argue about a stupid necklace and pretend like they both weren't going insane every time they saw eachother.

"Jude." Cardan's voice rang out into the empty room. "Jude, what are you going on about? I'm not tracking anyone."

Jude rubbed her forehead, looking less apologetic and more exasperated. "Cardan I don't know what dumb loophole meant you could say that and not lie, but I don't care, you don't need to deceive me." Before Cardan really knew what was happening, Jude was walking towards him, pulling a chain around his neck towards her when she reached him. "I have the same necklace. The Roach gave it to me to track you, because you're a dick who always hides from me. So you can't fool me, I already know it heats up around the person you're looking for."

Cardan could barely look down at the pendant in her hands, her proximity suffocated him in a way he never wanted to forget. "Jude, I don't know why you think that's a tracker. It's one of the Sensum necklaces, it alerts you of people's true feelings." As the words left his mouth, Cardan realized why the name of the necklace had sounded so familiar. He thought of the faint memories of fairies around him speaking about the Sensum necklaces, a pair of necklaces with powerful charms meant to clarify feelings between people, meant to only work in conjunction with eachother. Which meant that-- "Jude, your necklace doesn't track me."

Cardan felt himself shift on his feet as Jude gazed expectantly up at him. This was it. This was the moment Cardan could choose to reveal everything, to stop hiding from the truth, from Jude.

"Why don't we sit while I explain." There was no way he would be able to get through this with her so close, not with her hands inches from his burning skin. Cardan moved towards his forgotten seat at the oak table, reaching out to turn Jude's chair towards his before she sat.

When they were seated, Jude looking at him in a way that screamed just get to the damn point and nearly made Cardan smile, it was just so Jude. He cleared his throat once before starting. "Have you ever heard of the Sensum necklaces?" Jude shook her head, confirming what Cardan had already assumed. "Okay, well, they were made and charmed a long time ago, before anyone could remember. They have a unique charm, one that only works when both necklaces are being worn by separate people."

At this Jude seemed to absent mindedly pull at the chain around her neck, revealing the counterpart to his necklace that was resting beneath her shirt all this time, he forced his eyes away from her fingertips resting at her neck, looking past her at the wall. Cardan let out a deep breath before continuing, "So, they were charmed to show people's true feelings. So, if the person wearing the other necklace had feelings of resentment or anger then your necklace would cool. Some people said they would sometimes get so cold that they would get frostbite, especially in close proximity to the other wearer, because that, for whatever reason, is another thing they do-- they get stronger as they get closer."

Cardan risked a look at Jude's face, where she looked like she knew something big was about to happen, before she abruptly stood, reaching out towards Cardan's chest for the second time that day. As her fingertips brushed his skin, the heat around his pendant evaporated and Cardan looked deep into her eyes. They were shining and Cardan had just enough time to think about how utterly fucked he was before she spoke.

"What does it mean if they get warmer around the other necklace?"

Cardan nearly groaned as she got even closer as the words left her lips, the breath from them washing over his face. Cardan forced himself to think straight, focusing far harder than he should at getting four words out. "I think you know."

At this Jude closed the, admittedly, very short distance between them, pushing her lips to his. Cardan could vaguely register her hands in his hair and the way his own hands reached towards her waist to pull her closer to him, onto his lap. It was even better than their first kiss all that time ago, where he was desperate and a little drunk and focused on so much more than the way her lips felt against his own. After what felt like forever Jude pulled away, just barely, before standing and pulling Cardan up, ignoring the way he made a sound of reluctance and confusion, "For fuck's sake Cardan, I'm not going to let our first, second, and third kisses to all involve me forcing myself on you while you're sitting in a chair."

Cardan could barely realize what she was saying, his mind lingering on the way she said third kiss, the way she was going to let him kiss her again. With that single thought in his mind, he surged forward, pushing Jude towards the table until her legs knocked against the wood, savoring the gasp she let out when his hands held her sides. He leaned forward, "Well, no, of course not, we can't have that." Cardan ground out, his mouth moving to kiss beside her ear before moving down her jaw. "How else am I supposed to get you to finally admit that you love me if you have all the power?"

Jude didn't waste a second before spinning them, shoving Cardan's hip against the thick oak. Her lips ghosted his as she whispered, "Don't lie, Cardan. We both know that I always have all the power."

Her lips against his consumed Cardan's thoughts, her hands moving up to his neck, tugging him down slightly by the pendant resting against his chest. He let his hands wander, brushing against her back, her shoulder blades, before tugging her even closer with a firm hand resting on the nape of her neck. As Jude gasped into his mouth, she whispered, "But I don't think you'll have much trouble convincing me to admit that I love you."

Cardan groaned before moving to kiss away her smirk and deciding that he must be dreaming because there was no other way to account for the way his stomach fluttered at her words or how his chest grew warm even with her hands tugging his face towards hers. Cardan didn't think he could ever get sick of this, of the way Jude was finally so close.

He pulled away, breathing deeply and staring into Jude's eyes, "I love you, too."

The smile in Jude's next kiss was something Cardan couldn't forget even if he wanted to.

@jurdanhell @braiawrites

#tfota #fanfic #tfota fanfic #jurdan #jurdan fanfic #jurdan fluff #jude x cardan #jude duarte x cardan greenbriar

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procrastinatorproject · 3 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Trek: Picard Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Agnes Jurati/Cristóbal Rios Characters: Agnes Jurati, Cristóbal Rios Additional Tags: Meta, Developing Relationship, my take on Agnes and Cris's relationship, and why i think it works, Minor Character Death (Mentioned), Psychological Trauma

Title Inspired by @regionalpancake‘s glorious Downtime Drabble “You’re Light On Me”

A while ago, a friend confessed to me that they didn’t really understand what Agnes Jurati and Cris Rios see in each other. They felt the relationship seemed unmotivated and forced, and they didn’t really see why other people thought it worked.

I’ve seen this sentiment a few times since the show came out, and I’m not here to tell anyone they have to agree with the show-writers’ choices or like a relationship if it doesn’t work for them. But I recently reread the little essay I sent that friend in reply (after making sure they’d want to read it ;9 ), and I really liked it, so I thought I’d share it here.

When people say that the kiss between Agnes Jurati and Cristobal Rios at the end of Star Trek: Picard season 1 blindsided them, I understand where they're coming from. I think the showrunners could have done more to make the developing relationship between these characters truly obvious, but for me, it didn't feel like the mutual attraction between Cris and Agnes came completely out of nowhere. Let me explain.

One of the big things about Rios’s character I find striking is that he wants to be stoic and cynical and misanthropic, but he just... can't do it. He tries! He's short, he hides behind his books, and he pretends he doesn't care about politeness. But the only people he ever swears at are Raffi, a very good friend, and the holos (which are a whole other matter, because there is all this self-loathing tied up in Cris's relationship with them). Over the course of season 1, it's pretty clear that Rios is rather good at reading people, and he wants to do right by them. He defers to Picard pretty much immediately and Soji looks at him pleadingly once and he decides to put his ship at risk for her.

Rios doesn't want to like people, he just can't help himself. He wants to be annoyed by Agnes interrupting his reading, but I think he finds her quirkiness disarming and charming. It's already visible in the way he looks at her on the bridge, when they talk about paper books. And then they go to the holodeck to discuss Picard's detour to Vashti. Since Agnes is the audience stand-in, she asks a bunch of questions, and instead of being annoyed or short, Cris patiently explains everything to her (after offering her a seat). Later, when Cris asks Agnes what she thinks about his outfit for the Stardust City caper and she says he's killing it, there's a beat there. He seems almost a little taken aback, either by her sincerity, or maybe by realizing he values her opinion. It's yet another thing they connect over it. (Also robot boxing. That scene is adorable)

With regards to Agnes… I think partially, she's leaning into her natural humour and quirkiness to appear non-threatening and not give herself away, but I also have another read on her behaviour. (This may partially be me projecting WAY TOO HARD, or, to put it more generously, applying some lived experience to what we see of Agnes's character, so your take on this might be very different. But this is what I see.)

When Agnes and Cris talk before they go off to have sex, Agnes is making jokes and smiling. To me, that doesn’t read as fake or a ploy to manipulate Rios, it seems real. And then when he asks, really asks, how she's feeling, suddenly there is this chasm of pain right under the surface. For me, the idea that Agnes has this intense psychological trauma and is dealing with it by finding joy in little things, like watering the plants, and reading papers, and flirting with the hot captain by completely wrong-footing him with a comment about her dad... it feels very authentic. And I can see how this guy, who pretends to be all uncaring and edgy but is actually a big softie not very far under the surface, and who smiles at her jokes and takes the time to explain stuff to her and listens to her babble, that's a nice distraction from the horrible things happening in her mind. Not in the sense that she's manipulatively using him, but in the sense that this kind of human connection gives her moments of light and gives her reasons to keep going, even through so much pain.

After Agnes kills Maddox, she is deeply, deeply conflicted over what she's done. To the point where when they’re leaving the Artefact, she basically says "I don't care if the world ends if I don't kill Soji. Let it all burn. I just can't do this anymore". And then here is this man, who's kind and caring and, yes, hot, and at first it's "I just want to feel something, anything, and he's here, he's half-naked, he's gorgeous". And Rios isn't necessarily opposed to a no-strings-attached fling. Because he keeps telling himself he doesn't get attached and he hates people and he's only ferrying them around because they're paying him. So it's a distraction with a woman who is quirky and witty and pretty, but it won't mean anything, and that's okay.

And then Agnes changes her mind, because she realizes having sex with Rios will make things more complicated. Or maybe because she thinks Rios deserves better. Or that she shouldn't have sex to distract herself from horrible emotional pain because that's kinda unhealthy.

So she pulls back.

And Rios, instead of being annoyed at missing out or feeling like she led him on, or any number of things, asks her how she's feeling. In a way that makes it clear (at least to me) that he really cares about the answer. And for a moment, Agnes lets him see the true darkness inside her. Because she can pretend it's about Maddox dying, she can pretend it's just about being a lonely nerd. She doesn't have to tell him how bad it really is, but she lets herself feel all of the bad emotions for just a moment.

And then she kisses him again, maybe to shut herself up or to distract herself, or because she needs the connection. And he doesn't have any illusion about what it is they're doing. He knows she's trying to feel better, he essentially tells her he knows it's a way for her to deal with her devastation, and he's okay with it. Maybe because he knows what it's like to feel hollow and terrified and need something, anything to cling to.

And at this point, I think they're both still telling themselves that they don't actually care about each other. Cris because he doesn't want to care about anyone ever again so he won't get hurt. (Which, again, he fails miserably at, but I think that's how he wants to see himself and why he treats his holos with so much disdain that Emil tells Picard "He doesn't get any nicer", even though we see Rios being kind to all the people on board.) And Agnes doesn't really have the brain space to allow herself to fall for anyone. She's just taking little moments of light and human connection where she can get them. And they both decide to have sex as a one-night-stand, just to make Agnes feel better for the night, just because they're both lonely and in pain. No deeper meaning behind it.

And then the whole tracker debacle happens. It takes three days to get to Nepenthe and by the time Agnes goes into a coma, they're still a couple days away at least. She doesn't wake up until Picard is back on board, which means she's out for a long time. Even though we don’t see much of the medical drama, we can assume she was very much at death's door. So, now Rios is faced with once again losing someone he feels somewhat responsible for. Someone he has actually gotten close to. And I think that moment and the fear it causes him might make him start to realize how much he actually cares about her.

And then when Picard and Soji are on board, they all sit down together and figure out the big mystery at the heart of season 1. And here is another thing Cris and Agnes find out they have in common: Both of their lives and minds got destroyed by Oh's machinations. Cris went against everything he believed in when he covered up what Vandermeer had done. He didn't actively kill anyone, but he feels like Vandermeer's death is his fault. His belief in the fundamental goodness of Starfleet was shattered when they threatened to blow up his ship. For Agnes, this kind of shattering of a truth she had clung to comes when she realizes she wasn't acting on the directive of the Head of Starfleet Security in a black-ops mission sanctioned by one of the most important institutions of the Federation. Instead, she was nothing but a pawn, used by Oh for nefarious purposes that had nothing to do with the greater good. The exact circumstances of their traumas are different, but they were both caught up in the same catastrophe and cover-up and it has marked them in similar ways.

I think this is one of the reasons Rios doesn't blame Agnes for killing Maddox. If anything, he gets more protective of her, e.g. by trying to stop Sutra from forcing another mind-meld on Agnes. You can see this in a more subtle scene, too: when Cris says goodbye to Agnes at Coppelius station, he reaches out to touch her face, but then he hesitates and proceeds with extreme gentleness and care. To me, that reads like someone very, very aware of the other person's trauma and possible triggers (forced mind-meld) and caring deeply about making sure she feels safe and has something good to counterbalance the horrible memories.

And finally, we clearly jump quite a bit in time at the very end of season 1. When our motley crew sets out from Coppelius, the Synth Ban has been lifted. Just imagine the bureaucracy that must have taken! That’s not something that can be overturned in a day. Also, Raffi and Seven have had time to connect, so I imagine in that time, Cris and Agnes, too, will have slowly figured out whether they're compatible and whether this relationship is something they might, very carefully and gently, endeavour together.

Because they have a compatible kind of humour, because they understand what it's like to feel deeply broken but to keep going regardless, because she's witty and quirky and he's caring and kind and they went through a very specific hell together, and they might be able to hold each other's hands as they slowly make their ways towards healing.

I’m going to do a metatextual thing here and quote an absolutely gorgeous drabble by @regionalpancake that, to me, encapsulates one very important aspect of the relationship between Cris and Agnes.

Your Light On Me

You’d forgotten just how it felt. To feel like you. A stranger, Last seen aboard the Ibn Majid. Proud, red trimmed shoulders, Bright pips, a polished combadge. You signed aboard, And found A different man signed off. You’re old enough to know, She cannot fix you. You wouldn’t want her to. That’s between Pops and you. That’s your work to do, Not hers. But Agnes? Preciosa. Something in her, Shines a light. Reminds you who you are. You have to find, Your own way home. But god, It’s nice, At last, To find, A gentle soul, To hold the lamp.

Chapter 74 of Downtime

That. Right there. A gentle soul to hold the lamp. I think for me, that's what the relationship between Cris and Agnes boils down to.

They are broken people in a broken world, but by the end of season 1, they have found that they can hold each other while they try to put themselves back together. And what starts out as a fun, distracting flirtation, then turns into "meaningless" sex to stop feeling lonely and sad, finally becomes the beginning of a relationship built on shared trauma, but more importantly on kindness and charm.

I have no idea whether these two can make it work long-term, but I am very much on board for what we've seen so far, and I hope this can help a bit in explaining why.

NB: After I finished writing this a few weeks back, I remembered that there was a fic that came to very similar conclusions. Upon reread, I realized it essentially hits the exact same points I do here and does so absolutely beautifully. So if you want a truly touching in-universe perspective on this relationship, go and read Love Comes Softly by Be_Right_Back (@smhalltheurlsaretaken, or listen to the Podfic recorded by Thimblerig. I cannot recommend this fic highly enough!

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