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madroxed · 3 years

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46 + buddie

costume shopping [BUCK/EDDIE | SPOOKY PROMPTS | @AO3]

“Come on,” Buck says, “it’s cute!”

“No,” Eddie says, eyeing the six-foot bunny costume and wondering not for the first time whether Buck’s had a recent brain injury, “it’s a monstrosity. It’s the stuff of nightmares. I’m not going to traumatize my kid because you’ve seen Donnie Darko too many times.”

“Pshh,” Buck says, managing to look offended on the costume’s behalf. Two teenage girls skirt behind him warily, and Eddie raises a pointed eyebrow. “I was thinking more Harvey.” He puts the suit back with a sigh.

“Besides, we’re shopping for Chris,” Eddie says, scanning the racks, “and he’s been pointedly reminding me it has to be something cool.”

“Chris is always cool,” Buck says immediately, then: “What does cool even mean these days? Remember when it used to be cowboys and rock stars? Now if there’s not, like, five layers of meaning to it you might as well not leave the house.”

“Ohh,” Eddie says, picking up a slightly battered faux-leather jacket. The cuff’s ripped and there’s a bleach stain on the shoulder but that just adds to the appeal. “Danny Zuko?”

“Has Chris seen Grease?” Buck asks, and Eddie shrugs.

“Probably not, but what’s cooler than a fifties greaser?”

“He’d probably get mistaken for a TikTok star,” Buck points out, and Eddie puts the jacket back quickly.

“Okay, new plan,” he says. “Let’s go creepy. Dracula or, hey, the werewolf from that Michael J. Fox movie?”

Buck holds up a Letterman jacket triumphantly and Eddie shoots him a finger gun.

“I bet May knows how to do all that cool make up stuff,” Buck says. “Do you think they sell fake fur? You’ve got a basketball, right?”

They grab a few more things and then head to the accessories portion of the store where a crowd of people are trying on cat ears and stocking up on fake blood. A couple of kids, no older than thirteen, are giggling at the row of suspenders and sexy lingerie, and Buck rolls his eyes like he’s not thirty seconds away from making a string of innuendos at all times.

“Hey,” Buck says, because he’s predictable and because maybe Eddie knows him too well. “If you haven’t already got a costume…”

Eddie pointedly refuses to follow Buck’s gaze. “No.”

“I’m just saying,” Buck says, and his voice is lower now, his chest pressed lightly against Eddie’s back as they browse the prosthetics section. It’s the voice he uses when he’s not playing fair, the one Eddie’s learnt in fits and starts over recent months as they drift into each other’s space, something old and something new and something that sets Eddie’s heart racing.

“No,” Eddie says again, and Buck huffs a laugh into his ear like he knows exactly how breathless Eddie already feels.

“You sure?” Buck says, pressing his fingers gently against the small of Eddie’s back, and yeah, now he’s definitely cheating.

Eddie leans into it anyway.

“Not out,” Buck says, like this is a real conversation and not just an opportunity to make Eddie flush. “At home later, when it’s just the TV and popcorn and you and me…” He says the last part slowly and Eddie has to grit his teeth to stop the noise trying to escape his throat.

It is entirely unfair that Buck can do this to him so easily. He regrets every choice he’s made to get here.

He makes the mistake of following Buck’s eye-line and almost combusts into flames where he stands.

“No,” he says, and then coughs. Wishes his throat weren’t so dry.

“No?” Buck repeats, amusement threaded through every note, and God, Eddie has no one to blame for this but himself.

He squeezes his eyes shut, feels the soft trace of Buck’s thumb against his spine, and reminds himself that it’s okay to want.

God is it okay.

“No lace,” he bites out, and Buck’s stuttered breath is just as rewarding as he knew it’d be.

“Okay,” Buck says, agreeing before Eddie can take it back, the words spilling over with anticipation. “Okay. Yeah. I’m gonna— Don’t leave without me.”

Eddie would miss the warmth of him if he didn’t feel like his blood was thrumming at a hundred degrees. He takes a few deep breaths, tries to focus on the display in front of him, puts a few things in his basket then takes them out again, grabs a tiara from the top shelf for a young mom and her toddler, and waits until the world feels stable under his feet before he joins the checkout line.

“Find everything you need?” the middle-aged woman at the counter asks, and Eddie hopes he’s not as red as he feels.

“Yup, yeah, thanks.”

“Great,” she says, and hands him his receipt.

Buck’s already at the door, a smaller bag hanging from his fingers, tied shut with a black ribbon. They stare at each for a long moment, and Eddie feels every second of it, from the pads of his fingers to the curl of his toes.

“Have a great Halloween!” the clerk at the door tells them as they leave.

“Oh,” Buck says, and screw Halloween, Eddie can already see exactly how the rest of their afternoon’s going to pan out, “we will.”

#buddie #buddie fic #911 #911 fic #buck x eddie #hoechlder #....this ended up sexy i don't know how it ended up sexy #my fic

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i-ate-your-kneecaps · 3 years

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actual things that have been said in my drama class

“Where’s Michael?” (Michael’s our director.) “He’s smoking pot in his car.”

“Yeah, so once I stole Michael J. Fox’s wife’s sandwich.”

“Isn’t it funny how literally everyone here is gay?”

“I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU DROP YOUR SCRIPT ONE MORE TIME, I’M GOING TO BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY. Love you, bestie.”

“Sebastian, nobody cares about your Jewish Uggs.”

“I’m choking on a meatball-” *coughs* “So you could say I have too many balls in my throat.” *chokes even more*

“My favorite musical is kind of obscure. It’s called Hamilton.” “Child, you’re not edgy for liking the most popular musical of our time.”

“PLAY THE FUCKING MUSIC, WHITE GIRL”

“I like Twilight, though!” “Leave.”

“What if we’re all in a simulation and life is meaningless?” “Jerry, you just dropped your Wendy’s.”

*pulls out a stuffed penguin* “This is Large.” “He’s ugly as fuck.” “Die a painful death.”

*walks into class wearing clout goggles and cat ears* “Hello, peasants.”

*trips wearing 8-inch heels* “All beauty comes with pain.” “Jack, I think you broke your ankle.”

#jax's drama class #theater gays

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morimallow · 4 years

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SFW/ Fluff Alphabet (Suna Rintarou)

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

He is well-aware that he has a salty attitude. Up until now, he still wonders how you can still somehow manage to deal with his shit and stay with him and he adores you for that. Your patience is unfathomable. Whenever he rants about a recent issue regarding him, you can always sound unaffected and not sarcastic when in comes to your responses. He also admires how you respect his privacy and personal space. You would always ask him if he wants to talk about it and when he says no, you'd just stay with him until he's ready or when he gets over it.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

Eyes. HE LOVES THE FEELING OF GETTING LOST IN YOUR EYES. It's like he could totally see your feelings for him. He looks at it to know whether or not you're lying, to know if you're joking, and to prepare himself if he sees your eyes getting glossy or maybe he just looks at it because ✨force of habit✨. AND YOUR SQUISHY CHEEKS. He likes to pinch them whenever you're within his reach because.. well, he just wants some sort of physical contact? Plus you're really cute.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

Spooning. He doesn't want you to see that faint smile of his after he kisses your hair and shoulder once you settled against him. He loves your satisfied sigh when he lightly rubs your skin, his breathing lulling you to sleep. If you're just chilling on the couch though, he likes to snake one arm around your waist then he starts playing with your tummy like a fidget something.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

Classic stay-at-home date. He doesn't want other people to meddle with your time together because he knows for a fact that someone from his team EHEM, TSUM-TSUM, EHEM always goes out and there's this possibility that you'd bump into him with girls swarming around him. Experimenting Osamu's recipes! He loves it when you appreciate things he does. Then after you'd just cuddle while watching horror movies.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

We all know he ain't verbal unless he's spouting insults so he's more into actions. Simple things like holding the door for you, bringing you lunch when it's near exams (he'd sometimes pull you to the cafeteria for a breather), and a silent trip with him walking you to your home. He isn't expressive either so you'd just have to decipher what his feelings are by looking at his eyebrows.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

Hush, he maybe low-key probably theoretically might like babies. Doesn't mind if it's a girl or boy, he'd teach them how to roast someone. Plus just the thought of you holding your baby makes his heart go doki-doki. AFTER MARRIAGE, OF COURSE.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

He used to think of it as a waste of time and money but now it's more like a way to say he cares about you. He buys you things you need like ink refills when he notices your pen nearly out of ink. He doesn't spoil you that much with material things because he knows you're already satisfied.

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

The typical you'd-get-lost-and-it-would-be-hard-for-me-to-find-you-and-it's-too-much-work typa guy when you go out. He does creep his hand towards yours when you're alone but there are also times he just wants to link your pinkies because he finds it cute? Occasionally kisses your knuckles when you take a break from studying. He'd tap his thumb multiple times on the back of your palm before games and you'd tap back two times as a good luck.

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

If it's a minor one and he can just patch it up, he'd be silent, just making one-word commands as he takes care of you. Once done, he'd call you stupid can't you say “be careful next time” like a normal person and kiss your forehead after flicking it. If it's an accident in school, he'd be the one to take you to the clinic or if he's out, he'd have your friends reporting to him.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

YOU WOULDN'T REALIZE IT'S A JOKE. He considers himself funny though because his team laughs when he insults the twins but he realizes it's different with you. It's kinda like this: he asks you a question with his usual serious face, “What do you call a pony with a cough?” Silence. “A little hoarse.” He'd suppress his laugh because he really thinks it's funny but you just give him an unimpressed look.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

Light. Feathery. Ones. On your forehead, nose, cheeks after he pinches it, side of your mouth. Even his pecks feel like one, long, passionate kiss. Keeps his kisses short and simple unless you show him signs of you-know-what. Likes to kiss the back of your head while he squishes your face with one hand.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

Hugs. Plenty of them. It's a way of saying you're safe with him and he won't do anything to hurt you. Smothers you with kisses from time to time when he feels like you need reassurance. He takes care of you. He leaves a glass of water on your bedside table so you wouldn't have to walk in the dark.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

That time after one of the games when you came up to him and shamelessly kissed him in front of the whole team. He was frozen like the rest of them and they swore they saw him smile a bit as you smile up to him while playing with his hair.

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

Fears that one day, he won't hear your satisfied sigh when you're settled against him. That would mean he's not your safe space anymore and you already tired and uncomfortable.

O = Oddity (what quirk/s do they have?)

He likes to believe that cracking knuckles can release stress. After an argument, whenever he studies, he cracks his knuckles.

He says ‘I love you’ back ALWAYS. He's always conveying his feelings through actions so the least he could do is to reply to your I love you's. Even if he's already near dream land, he'd still say it back.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

He usually sticks with “oi” but ehem, he likes to call you by sickly.. icky.. weak-to-the-knees endearments with that hot voice of his HAVE YOU HEARD HIM IN EPISODE 14 I WAS SCREAMING. He saves the darling, sweetheart, honey, boo when it's just the two of you but calls you by your cute nickname followed by baby when he wants to flaunt you.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

NAP DATES. NAP DATES. NAP DATES. NAP DATES. NAP DATES. NAP DATES. NAP DATES. YOU'RE HIS CHARGING STATION. YOU. ARE. HIS. REST. MAKING BULALO (I think it's called beef bone marrow stew in English???) IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT JUST BECAUSE. Drowsy kisses just because also. (╥﹏╥)

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

The Simple Things by Michael Carreon because... just listen to it.

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

ABSOLUTE TRUST. Y'all are faithful and respect each other's privacy. If he doesn't wanna talk about it then no. If he does, then you'll listen. If you ask him something that's been bothering you like seeing him and one of his classmates walking through the school gates together while you're outside waiting, he'll explain. No arguments. He knows you're there for him and you know he won't tell you anything if he knows he can handle it himself. You're fine. He's fine.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

Probably 2-3 months? He was whipped when you snapped at him. Man, his mind was blank. No rebuttals. Took him a week to confess to you then y'all started dating but you made it official by attending one of his games.

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

He'll buy you your comfort foods. Lightly squeezes your shoulder while you rant about the reason you're upset. OVERALL, HE WON'T TALK BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT YOU AND YOU ALONE. Would probably do everything you make him do because you're upset. Keeps his nasty remarks when you're feeling better.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

Either he won't talk about you or presents you to everyone with a smug look on his face, he's never in between. He is rather proud about you and your achievements because he's seen you through the process of it all. PROUD BOYFRIEND.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

If it's a physical fight, he'd fight behind you because he knows you can handle it. If some bastard harasses you, he'd fight for you. If it's a mental battle, he'd fight beside you. He knows you're strong but that doesn't mean you have to go through it alone.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

Very, very well. Slight movement of your eyebrows and he knows you're uncomfortable. When you bite your lower lip, he knows you're gonna cry. With simple hand gestures, he knows you're hiding something. He's just very observant and he wants you to know that he knows what you're implying without even a word. One smirk, and you're pranking Atsumu the next second.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

Asks you to marry him out of the blue. On your couch. With matching fuzzy socks, fox slippers, and satin pyjamas. While sipping on your hot beverage. Honestly so sweet, you can't change my mind.

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

Your gentle hand on his cheek and your soft gaze. Plus ice pops.

NSFW Alphabet (Suna Rintaro)

M. List

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watching-pictures-move · 2 years

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Movie Review | High School U.S.A. (Amateau, 1983)

I recently revisited John Hughes' Sixteen Candles. It's a movie that has certain, uh, problems (*cough*racism*cough*date rape*cough*). But it's also grounded in a certain emotional reality with respect to high school life. The moments that feel more artificial, like the presence of the "Peter Gunn" theme on the soundtrack, feel more cohesive than the musical interludes in Hughes' later The Breakfast Club, as the movie convinces you that this is a song that would be playing in the heads of its most hopelessly geeky yet supremely confident character. And with a couple of extremely winning central performances from Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall, the overall experience is warm and affable enough to make it a pretty engaging watch despite its flaws.

High School U.S.A. is similar in that it contains some pretty endearing performances, but differs in that seems divorced from any realistic sense of high school life. The movie takes place in a high school that's seemingly run by the school bully. I don't mean in the figurative sense where all the other kids are afraid of him. Here the bully is obscenely wealthy (yet his parents are never seen; is he a self-made man?) and seems to control the administrative side of the school as well. You see, he dangles his wealth over the teachers with a promise of a $10,000 cash prize and a trip to Europe in order to get them to do his bidding. This is also a movie where the hero, despite not living with his parents (or any adults) and seemingly being destitute, somehow lives in a comfortable suburban home. And when the hero challenges the bully to a dangerous, ill-advised race, the adults around him (including the principal) cheer him on, instead of trying to smack some sense into him like any sane adult in a movie even close to real life would. Like the vigilante genre slid into the unreal and hyperbolic during this time, so did the high school movie extract its tropes from the plane of reality and launch them into the realm of fantasy.

The most notable thing about the movie is the cast. A pre-Back to the Future Michael J. Fox plays the hero, and displays some of the same liveliness and star quality he would show in his breakout movie. A pre-Revenge of the Nerds Anthony Edwards plays the villain, and given how good he is at playing nice guys, it's pretty novel to see him as a preppy asshole. There's also an especially dweeby Crispin Glover, seemingly playing the even lamer brother of his Jimmy "Dead Fuck" Patrick character. Truth be told, there are probably too many characters, and the movie shuffles through them like throwaway gags on a sitcom, a feeling enhanced by the television background of many of its stars. Why does Todd Bridges invent a robot ready for space travel and then bring it to the prom? Why are the two nerdy girls trying to get a picture of Anthony Edwards' ass (a nice, gender-bending twist on the usual horndog antics in these movies)? Why does Michael J. Fox fake an accident involving Bob Denver's brand new sportscar? These are questions that High School U.S.A. raises without answering with much satisfaction, but the vibes were good enough for me to let it slide.

#film #movie review #high school u.s.a.#rod amateau

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Back to the Future: The Real Johnny B. Goode Rocked Long Before Marty McFly

https://ift.tt/2QFxici

Back to the Future is a classic comedy, one of the most popular films in motion picture history. Almost every laugh line lands with a perfectly executed punch. Every skateboard flip is a motion picture wonder. It’s one of those films which is broadly silly yet still has heart, and it’s a treasure of commercial cinema. But when Michael J. Fox’s Marty McFly straps on a cherry red Gibson ES-345 he plunders the golden oldies right out of the fingers of the true original. Ignore the bit where “Marvin Berry” calls his cousin on the phone. Chuck Berry didn’t just write “Johnny B. Goode,” he was Johnny B. Goode.

The song about the country boy who could play guitar like ringing a bell could have referred to any number of musicians, from Buddy Holly to Bo Diddley or Ricky Nelson. But the singer-songwriting guitarist who penned the line was born at 2520 Goode Avenue, in St. Louis.

Berry had already made his concession to white commercialism by changing the line “that little colored boy could play” to “that little country boy.” Oh my. But then for years, the Father of Rock and Roll watched the self-styled King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley, put his stamp on Berry’s signature. The royalties were sweet though for Berry, and the respect was mutual.

But the backhanded homage in the time-traveling 1985 comedy is really a cheap gag, and the joke is at the expense of Berry’s legacy.

“Long Distance information? Get Me Memphis, Tennesse”

“Chuck! Chuck, it’s Marvin, your cousin, Marvin Berry. You know that new sound you’re looking for?” the fictional bandleader yells into a pay phone at the 1955 Enchantment Under the Sea dance in Hill Valley, California. “Listen to this!”

We then hear the subtle sound of casual racial invalidation. Not only does the line denigrate Berry’s contribution to the architecture of rock and roll; it completely sidelines guitarist Carl Hogan who initiated the opening guitar phrasing on Louis Jordan’s 1946 pre-rock and roll song “Ain’t That Just Like a Woman.” Think, McFly. Think!

Michael J. Fox already has a perfectly winning comic ending to the now-iconic scene: when his fingers stretch back to the future, and he channels Eddie Van Halen on the guitar, even the kids at the 1950s dance think he should act his age. So why does director and co-screenwriter Robert Zemeckis feel the need to shit on Chuck Berry with such a disposable throw-away gag? It is even more insulting when you take into consideration who Berry had to sue over the course of his career for stealing his riffs.

Indicative of a long-standing music industry tradition, the two biggest names in white rock and roll, the Beatles and the Beach Boys, had to cough up to the pioneering artist after infringing on his copyrights. Berry sued to get his name on the Beach Boys’ hit “Surfin’ USA” while John Lennon agreed to cover two songs owned by Berry’s publisher in exchange for copping lines from “You Can’t Catch Me” for the song “Come Together.”

But Lennon still declared “If you tried to give rock and roll another name, you might call it ‘Chuck Berry,’” when he introduced him on The Mike Douglas Show in 1972. “In the 1950s, a whole generation worshipped his music, and when you see him today, past and present all come together, and the message is Hail, Hail Rock and Roll.’”

He Could Play a Guitar Just Like a-Ringin’ a Bell

Berry was the first-ever Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductee, and in the same class as James Brown, Ray Charles, Fats Domino, the Everly Brothers, Buddy Holly, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Presley. With songs like “Maybellene,” “Roll Over Beethoven,” “Little Queenie,” “Havana Moon,” “Wee Wee Hours,” “Rock and Roll Music,” and “Sweet Little 16,” Berry scored the soundtrack to the 1950s.

Berry didn’t invent rock and roll. Ike Turner is credited with that for his 1951 song, “Rocket 88.” Berry recorded his first hit “Maybellene” in 1955 at Chicago’s Chess Studios, the home of the blues. Berry sped up the blues to a country thump and let his fingers do to guitar strings what lips did to horns.

Berry made rock and roll fun, funny, and subtly rebellious. The teenager in “You Can’t Catch Me” is motorvating away from the cops. His “Brown Eyed Handsome Man” hit a home run with color coded racial pride. The artist who was glad, so glad, he was “living in the U.S.A.” (in the song “Back in the U.S.A.”) was barred from many of the things he found so wondrous in this country to sing about.

Almost Grown

Charles Edward Anderson Berry was born on Oct. 18, 1926. His St. Louis neighborhood, “The Ville,” was segregated. His great-grandparents were slaves. In 1944, Berry was arrested for driving along in an automobile he carjacked at gunpoint after robbing three stores in Kansas City. He did a three-year stint in reform school.

Berry began playing music professionally when he was in his mid-20s, sitting in with local bands like piano player Johnnie Johnson’s group, Sir John’s Trio. Blues icon Muddy Waters suggested Berry bring his songs to Chess Records where Howlin’ Wolf, the Moonglows, and Big Bill Broonzy were recording sides. Label owner Leonard Chess had a good feeling about the song “Ida Red.”

Movies

The History of Back to the Future Began With a High School Yearbook

By Chris Cummins

Movies

The United States vs. Billie Holiday: The Federal Bureau of Narcotics Was Formed to Kill Jazz

By Tony Sokol

Berry renamed the song “Maybellene” when he recorded it on May 21, 1955. It was Berry’s first nationwide hit. He was 28. Willie Dixon was on bass, Johnnie Johnson played piano, Jerome Green shook maracas, and Ebby Hardy beat the drums. Alan Freed and Russ Fratto didn’t do anything for the song, but their names are on the credits as co-songwriters. They effectively collected royalties for teaching Berry a valuable lesson.

Chuck Berry wrote all the songs on his first album, After School Session, which was released in May 1957. It was the same for his next two albums. Berry didn’t include any covers on his albums at all until his fourth album, Rockin’ at the Hops, released in July 1960. Berry starred in some of Alan Freed’s jukebox movies like Rock Rock Rock!, Mister Rock and Roll, and Go, Johnny, Go! He also appeared in Jazz on a Summer’s Day, a 1959 documentary about the Newport Jazz Festival.

“No Need to Be Complainin’, My Objections Overruled”

Berry was arrested in St. Louis, Missouri, in December 1959 for transporting Janice Norine Escalan, a 14-year-old hatcheck girl at Club Bandstand in Juarez, Mexico, across state lines for “immoral purposes.” He was charged under the Mann Act. Berry argued he was offering legitimate employment. An all-male, all-white jury found him guilty on March 11, 1960. Berry appealed, but the conviction was upheld at a 1961 trial. Berry was sentenced to three years. He served 18 months and was released from prison in 1964.

Berry’s career never quite took off again. He had some hits in 1964 and 1965, “Nadine,” “No Particular Place to Go,” “You Never Can Tell,” and “Promised Land.” He was one of the artists in the 1964 concert film The TAMI Show. Berry’s last number 1 hit, “My Ding-a-Ling,” was recorded live in London in 1972 for The London Chuck Berry Sessions album.

Berry never stopped playing live. He traveled with only his guitar and a briefcase for his money, and would grab local bar bands to back him when he hit town. Everyone knew Chuck Berry songs. Simple, three-chord pangs to teenage love, cars and safety belts. Bandleaders like Bruce Springsteen and Steve Miller eagerly lent their fingers and bands to the light traveling guitar player. Most groups were thrilled to get the chance to play for a legend when they weren’t harangued for bending a string too far on an intro. Not even Keith Richards got away with that, just watch the rehearsal portion of the 1987 documentary Hail! Rock ‘n’ Roll.

The Rolling Stones’ guitarist had already been brought in as a surprise backing player for a 1972 Los Angeles show where he was kicked off the stage for setting his amp too loud. Berry would also give Richards a black eye for touching his guitar after a New York City show a decade later. Richards’ early guitar work is modeled on Berry’s style. The Stones covered “Carol,” “Around and Around” and “You Can’t Catch Me.” Richards inducted Berry into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1986.

Back to the Future is really just a light, inoffensive, time-bending screwball comedy, and Berry has been the butt of far worse jokes. Spy magazine alleged Berry secretly filmed women in bathrooms. In January 1990, High Society claimed to be “the only magazine with the balls to show Chuck’s berries,” when it published photos of him posing nude with different women.

So when you read an article about Berry recalling the incident where the white kid played “Johnny B. Goode,” remember: it ran in The Onion. Chuck Berry could be accused of a lot of things, but he was an original.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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midnightswithdearkatytspb · 5 years

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Everything’s Gonna Be Alright

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC Stark

Rating: PG

Warning(s): Mentions of Character Death, Fluff & Angst

Word Count: 2,235

Info: I entered @littledarlinhavefaithinme Sebastian Stan Summer Song Writing Challenge. I choose to do it based off of Lullaby by Shawn Mullins. So I loosely and I mean loosely based it off the song, where she grew up with Tony, and Bucky does quote my favorite line of the song at the end. Also big thanks to @coffeebucko for making my moodboard!

Synopsis: Bruce snaps everyone back into existence and Thanos is gone. 5 years have passed and many things have changed for Remedy Stark, she’s an older sister, her dads gotten married to her mother figure and she isn't sure where she fits in it all.

Remedy Stark was born at the tail end of the ’80s, her father couldn't tell her much about how she was born but he could tell her about her mother and the story of how she was brought to him. Remedy could recount the story of being dropped off at her dad, Tony’s front doorstep by her mothers grieving friend. How Tony took one look at six-year-old her and cursed under his breath.

Remedy started showing her mutant abilities just a few months after she had moved in with her father. Tony had been working with some tools when he cut his finger open, feeling bad Remedy walked over grabbed her father's finger and kissed it. After telling him it was all better Tony looked down to find it healed with not even a scar left behind. That night they sat at the breakfast nook where Tony made Remedy promise she would keep her powers to them, and she did till she fixed Uncle Rhodey’s broken arm.

Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp, Bono, Mariah Carey, 2Pac, Elon Musk, Madonna, Michael J. Fox, Kevin Costner, Liv Tyler, Whitney Houston, Richard Branson, Steven Tyler, Bruce Springsteen, Celine Dion, and Leonardo DiCaprio were among the few who partied at the Stark mansion, getting to see Remedy Stark grow up. She learned to speak many languages, her best friend was an artificial intelligence named Just A Rather Very Intelligent System, or Jarvis for short, her father created, till she went to a private charter school.

Now Remedy, wasn’t as smart as her father, but she did skip a few grades here and there, graduating at the age of 14 in 2001. The same year Pepper Potts entered both her and her father's life, she watched them dance around each other in fawning, praying for the day when either her dad grew mature or one of them made a move. That was also the year her second mutation activated, all Remedy had to do was think of a place she wanted to be and she would end up there, unfortunately, it happened in front of both Pepper and her father. It became a family secret.

Years went by, she watched the only woman she ever saw as a mother figure dive in love with her father, while he became a superhero. Aliens it turned out were real, a frozen super-soldier her father spent his entire existence in the shadow was alive, assassins could have their own family and be a damn good friend, also Nazis it turned out were still around.

Being called an Avenger was pretty amazing, but what felt even more amazing to Remedy was saving lives. Fixing the wrongs in the world that you could. Remedy found a family in the Avengers. Wanda was someone who was her own and that could relate to the pressures of being someone with powers. Steve soon after the battle New York, became her best friend, a brother she never she wanted, along with Clint and Sam. Natasha, well she was another Aunt and another mother figure of sorts who brought along Bey. Bey was Natasha’s child, her pride and joy, but also Remedy’s best friend.

Turns out when you get shocked by Thor when trying to save a small nation, well it can awaken hidden powers where you can open portals. Soon everyone knows your secrets and governments well they don't care that you are a Stark, or that you save lives, they notice the fallout you leave behind.

Remedy knew Steve and her father Tony getting along was never going to last, they always had a fallout but they always came together in the end. This time Remedy wasn't able to foretell the destruction, Thunderbolt Ross would have on the group. Remedy left to go bury her Godmother Peggy Carter, then the next thing she knew she was a wanted fugitive.

Tony wanted her to hate Bucky, for killing her grandparents she barely knew, but she couldn't find it in her. It wasn't Bucky’s fault it was the men behind the controls. She could be angry at Steve for not telling her father but she could easily forgive him attempting to protect his best friend, she would do the same for Wanda and Bey.

When it was all over, said and done, T’Challa welcomed Remedy along Bey to lay low in Wakanda when they weren't trying to be vigilantes. Pepper would meet up with Remedy behind Tony’s back, updating her on her father as well as her godfather. Always going their separate ways with a hug and tears in their eyes.

Than Thanos happened and one moment she was assisting Natasha to get up after healing her broken arm, getting ready to open a portal, next she saw her body turning to ash before her very eyes. Next, she was standing between Sam Wilson, Bucky with Bey who was transformed into a Mammoth with both Princess Shuri and Spiderman on their back, as they were being portalled back to New York.

Remedy fought long and hard, the burning feeling in lungs, long since came a constant reminder she was alive. Working back to back with Wanda most of the fight, sending people her way, or defending Spider-Man, or well Peter, he had stopped to introduce himself and to apologize for the black eye back in Germany. Yeah, she could grow to like the kid and could see why her dad did too.

Seeing her dad again for the first time in what felt like forever, was crazy, especially when Remedy half expected him to yell at her, instead he hugged her. Remedy honestly couldn't remember the last time her father had hugged her. He held her tightly to the metal suit he had long lost his helmet it seemed, Remedy could have sworn she felt tears hit her scalp.

“You are so grounded young lady, I don’t care if you are 30 years old, you are grounded! No television, phone, no boys, we are going to have a long talk about what it means to be a vigilante and not talk to our parents.” Tony broke the silence that surrounded them, trying to make his daughter laugh, while she tugged him down to dodge a laser beam heading their way.

Remedy wasn't sure how long the fight even lasted but for her, it ended with her on Bey’s Polar Bear form a few yards away from Bruce Banner who was in possession of the gauntlet. Bruce snapped and the next thing she noticed was the aliens they had been fighting were turning to dust. Thanos was defeated and all of a sudden it felt like a weight was lifted off their shoulders. Exhaustion hit Remedy hard and it was expected so the last thing she remembered was the white fur, hitting her face before she was caught by Clint.

The drive to wherever they were going seemed to drag on as Remedy got stuck between the two super soldiers, a guy named Frank Castle was driving and he wouldn't let anyone touch for stereo. Somehow Sam had won a coin toss and got to ride shotgun, while in the very back Bey was sharing their iPod with Wanda and Karen Page, was snoring.

When Remedy came to in the back of a truck that belonged to Castle, Pepper had been pushing her hair back. Tears had been cascading down her face even though she was smiling, Remedy had tried to smile but everything in her body has hurt. Pepper was in her suit of armor, Remedy remembered choking out the colors were far better than Dad’s, making Pepper laugh. Tony had leaned over the side of the truck kissing the crown of her head, reminding her favoritism sucked.

Soon they were invited back to Stark-Potts household because of course they got married, but it turns out they no longer lived in the city but out by Lake George. The two-hour drive listening to classic rock and alternative rock, barley any legroom, the constant sniff, and cough was starting to get to Remedy. Almost making her wish she had taken up the Peter Quill guy, or even Scott Lang offers up for a lift.

As Hozier’s voice crooned about how he should have taken better care of his lover, the road Frank had turned on to suddenly became bumpy. Steve sat up straighter, suddenly elbowing Remedy in the ribs with his sharp elbow, causing her to take a deep intake of breath. Bucky reached around Remedy smacking his best friend on the back of the skull, getting a laugh out of Wanda and Bey in the back. Steve gave her an apologetic look as they drew closer to a cabin that looked almost luxurious, right away Remedy knew this was one of her Dad’s places.

As the Range Rover came to a slow stop, Remedy noticed Happy, Pepper, and Rhodey standing on the porch together, with drinks in their hands. Remedy followed Bucky out of the car and saw the lake to her left, it's beauty was serene, she could see why Pepper and her Dad would settle here. Suddenly arms were around Remedy’s legs and holding on tightly to her, with no foreseeable plan to let go it seemed.

“Remy, Daddy said he would bring you home and he did! Mom said you would teach me how to play guitar and you’d Dutch braid. I’m so happy your home.” Remedy stared down at the little girl at her legs in confusion before she heard footsteps nearing, and a hand was placed on top of the little girls head. That hand is turned our belonged to her father and beside him was Pepper, both of which were smiling at her.

“Remedy, this is Morgan, we had her shortly after the snap. Morgan this is your older sister Remedy.” Tony was now holding Morgan in his arms, who continued to stare at Remedy was adoration.

“I know who Remedy is Daddy, I have her picture at my bedside, I tell her goodnight every night and I read to her. Well not her, the picture of her, but now I can read to her because you brought her home to us, as you promised!” Remedy felt her heart rate skyrocket, she had a sister, she had been gone five years and so much has changed. To the right, she could hear Bey screaming no, as Clint was saying sorry, everything felt louder, her breathing more shallow.

“Remy?” Pepper put her hand on her shoulder like she used to do when she was a teenager, and she felt the world was out to get her, but Pepper always reassured her, she was stronger than those who brought her down. Remy tried her hardest to smile at Morgan, but she felt perhaps it still came out more like a grimace than anything else.

“Morgan, it's so good to meet you. If you don't mind, I just need a second to catch my breath.” Remedy had reached over and squeezed her little sister soft delicate hand in a loving gesture before she turned away from her family. Her legs taking her out towards the edge of the dock of the lake, hands-on her hips she found herself struggling to breathe as her mind raced.

Where did she belong now? Why did she have to leave all those years ago, she should have come home with the tail tucked between her legs and signed the accords, they could have been a family. She had missed out on the wedding, the one she had wished for since she was a pre-teen, on her birthday cakes and falling stars. Tony had taken in Peter Parker, Spider-Man who was a pretty cool kid, but still, she missed out on seeing them interact. Here she was a big sister and she missed five years of bed life and yet she seemed to know everything about her, acted like she was the best thing in the world. What would Morgan think when she found out that she wasn't all that great?

An arm around her shoulder, the scent of metal, tea tree, sandalwood, amber, leather, and moss hit her nose, indicating Bucky was the one at her side. He ran his flesh hand up and down her arm, as he put his face in her hair shushing her as she began to cry. Remedy didn't need to be told that Natasha was also gone, along with Vision, people they lost in the war. Her family was falling apart and she felt so broken, yet here was a man she spent weeks on the run, months in Wakanda with, comforting her.

“I’m not sure about you, but I feel a little lost right now, but that's because we are in a strange place, but I promise you Remedy, you got me. You aren’t alone and we’ve got Sam and Bey as well as Steve.” Remedy kept her head in the crook of Bucky’s neck as the vibrations of his voice soothed her along with the smoothing up and down motions of him rubbing her back.

“Everything’s going to be alright.” Bucky kissed the crown of her forehead and looked out at the water while he just held Remedy in his. He vowed to keep her safe and maybe they could help each other piece themselves back together in this messed up world.

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drew-winchester · 5 years

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Imagining Rey didn't know Neville, what would be her "type"?

Her type would be Marty McFly of course!She 100% had the biggest crush on him as a kid. Probably had a journal full of photos of Michael J. Fox. And she probably hid it in her tree house so her big brothers wouldn’t see it, and only told Neville about how one day she’d marry Marty McFly and whAT you’ve never seen Back to the Future??? what is wrong with your life Mr Longbottom.Erm. *cough* Sorry.Actually that is a tricky question because I’m not one who believes in “type” ;v;I believe our type changes when we fall in love with someone. Everyone who reminds you of them will be “your type”. But then you can fall in love with someone completely different and “your type” will change.Or maybe that’s only me???*shrugs* I have no idea. But that makes it difficult for me to answer ;;So, yeah, I’m not sure what Rey’s type would be. I think someone loyal and kind, because she values kindness over anything else. Or someone like Ron who she can laugh with. Also Rey probably thinks Harry is quite good looking but too scrawny.

I hope I somehow answered your question, sorry I’m all over the place x’D

#MARTY MCFLY #ALWAYS #xD #my art #sketch #rey winchester #bttf #hogwarts #gryffindor #harry potter

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signourneybooks · 5 years

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There were some firsts this month which was interesting to say the least. There was also a lot of coughing and overal sickness though so I’m not sure how I feel about January yet.

There are an awful lot of reading challenges down below. For the first month I’m keeping it this way and after that I am going to always have the amount reading challenge and my own. And alternate a bit between the others. I think I’m going to do an update and a wrap up of the harry potter board game over the year instead of taking it along here as there are so many levels and all.

The Numbers

# Read 60 Books Read this month: 12 Total: 12/60

Shadow of the Fox (Shadow of the Fox 1) by Julie Kagawa / 3,5 stars // ARC

The Crown Conspiracy (The Riyria Revelations 1) by Michael J. Sullivan / 4 stars

The Girl in the Tower (Winternight 2) by Katherine Arden / 5 stars

The Winter of the Witch (Winternight 3) by Katherine Arden / 4 stars // ARC

A Pinch of Magic by Michelle Harrison / 4,5 stars // ARC

Cogheart (The Cogheart Adventures 1) by Peter Bunzl / 4 stars // ARC

Wintersong (Wintersong 1) by S. Jae-Jones / 3,5 stars

And the Ocean Was Our Sky by Patrick Ness / 3 stars

Shadowsong (Wintersong 2) by S. Jae-Jones / 3 stars

The Ingenious by Darius Hinks / 3 stars // ARC

Every Heart a Doorway (Wayward Children 1) by Seanan McGuire / 4 stars // Reread

Avempartha (The Riyria Revelations 2) by Michael J. Sullivan / 4 stars

Average: 3,8

Fire Breathing Dragon: 3/20 Prompts Completed This Month: Thief / Fairytale Retelling / Classic Fantasy

Complete Alien: 1/20 Prompts Completed This Month: Steampunk

Generic Robot: 4/12 Prompts Completed This Month: WOC / Finish a Series / One word title / Mental Health

Total: 8/52

Read more about my own reading challenge here.

Level: Mt. Vancouver (36 books) Read this month: 8 Total: 8/36

Rules: Books Owned Prior to 2019 / No Library Books / Rereads can count (but not in the last 5 years read) / I Am Counting My Ebooks and ARCS received before 2019

Level: Elemental Witch (11-15 retellings) Read in this month: 6 Total: 6/15

Level: 1 (1-10) Asian Authors Read: 2 Total Asian Authors Read: 2

⌘ This month was a bit meh on the health department. It took a month for my voice to be back to normal again and a week later it wasn’t exactly great again but also not completely gone. I also got sick for the 3rd time in 2 months which is just really frustrating. And then on the last day of the month, poof my voice went again.

⌘ As you know I have been working on my depression since the end of last year. I got to the half way point with my one on one appointments and she suggested trying a course as group therapy instead of continuing on like this. I started it this month and have been twice now. There are a total of 8 sessions and we follow a book (with homework assignments yes lol). So it does require some extra work from me, especially on the emotional front again. It was interesting to see I also recognized some thoughts of it as I was reading Shadowsong.

⌘ I managed to burn my hand just below my thumb. Very certain a portion of it is a second degree burn. Fun times.

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A while ago @therealrobinhobb offered to exchange postcards and of course i send her a #dikkiedik postcard. This weekend i got a lovely card back with a bookplate. Thank you so much ❤️ . . . #bookstagram #booksofinstagram #booksofig #readersofinstagram #bookaddicted #booklover #bookobsessed #spreadthebooklove #blogger #bookblogger #boekenblogger #robinhobb #bookplate #foolsfate #thegoldenfool #realmofelderlings

A post shared by Annemieke (@signourney) on Jan 15, 2019 at 12:21am PST

⌘ A few months ago Robin Hobb offered on her website (and mentioned on her instagram) that she liked to send out postcards if we send her one. So I did that. And this month I got her card and a book plate. So amazing. ❤

Reviews

⌘ A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer / ARC ⌘ Shadow Captain (Revenger 2) by Alastair Reynolds / ARC ⌘ Pop-Up Guide to Hogwarts ⌘ The Girl in the Tower (Winternight 2) by Katherine Arden ⌘ A Pinch of Magic (A Pinch of Magic 1) by Michelle Harrison / ARC ⌘ The Winter of the Witch (Winternight 3) by Katherine Arden / ARC ⌘ Shadow of the Fox (Shadow of the Fox 1) by Julie Kagawa / ARC

Top Ten Tuesday My 5 and 4,5 Star Reads of 2018 / 2019 Releases I Am Looking Forward To – January to June / New to Me Authors in 2018 / Books I Meant to Read in 2018, but Didn’t… /

Other Posts Dancing Out of December 2018 / Dancing Out of the Year 2018 / My Year in Books 2018 Over on Goodreads / End of the Year Survey 2018 / Trying to Be an Elemental Witch – 2019 Retellings Reading Challenge / 2019 Goals & Intentions for Reading, Social Media and the Blog/ Time to Crunch Some Numbers – Reading Statistics 2018 / Why You Should Be Watching Jordskott / From US or UK Cover to Dutch Cover / Year of the Asian Reading Challenge / Books I Want to Reread This Year

⌘ Justice League / Movie Surprisingly I actually liked this. The plot wasn’t that special but the underlying tensions in the relationships were. I was worried I wouldn’t like the flash since I’m so used to the tv show The Flash. But I shouldn’t have worried. Its Ezra Miller. The only thing I wish that it wasn’t that he endlessly was used for comic relief and that there was more humor for the group as a whole. The flash stood out like a sore tumb because of his youth and because he wasn’t as brooding as the others. More interested in seeing Aquaman now (instead of just for Jason Momoa).

⌘ Astroboy / Movie I’d never watched this and when I was browsing on demand when I was sick I came across it. I liked it. Its cute. It could have done with some more depth (and poeh certainly some more poc) but overal it was a nice watch.

⌘ IT (2017) / Movie I had some time left over one day and I decided at random to watch this. I’ve never read the book or seen the older movie. I actually liked it. I mean the whole thriller parts aren’t exactly my thing but I enjoyed the characters and their relationships. Beverly ❤

⌘ Scooby-Doo Adventures: The Mystery Map / Movie This might be the weirdest movie of Scooby yet. They were puppets and they were shown as they were in the series a Pup Called Scooby-Doo so children. The plot was all kinds of meh so yeah not a good one.

⌘ Scooby-Doo and the Mask of the Blue Falcon / Movie This one had more of a old scooby doo feeling again. But the plot didn’t really interest me.

⌘ The Passage / Season 1 / Ep 1-2 I was going to try and read books 2 and 3 before I went to look up to watch this show, like in a few years, lol. But then I saw that our Fox also started showing it very quickly after its release in the USA, and here we are. This is really just the set up and it doesn’t diverge from the book that much. Amy however in the tv show is so kick ass. Love her.

⌘ Zoo / Season 2 / Ep 1-4 We finally started this season and it is so weird oh my gosh. And addicting in a way. But so weird. Like a train wreck. You just can’t look away.

Blogs

⌘ Jackie from Death by Tsondoku talks about Jólabókaflóðið. ⌘ CW from The Quiet Pond shares their most anticipated diverse debuts for 2019. ⌘ Crini from All About Books updated her spreadsheet for 2019. ⌘ Noura from The Perks of Being Noura had me in her item The Life of a Reader. ⌘ Kathy from Books & Munches has the fantastic february fantasy themed month. ⌘ CW from The Quiet Pond, Shelea from Shut Up Shelea!, Vicky from Vicky Who Reads and Lily from Sprinkles of Dreams are hosting the Year of the Asian Reading Challenge. ⌘ Jamie from The Perpetual Page-turner talks about how her reading life has become more rich and full. ⌘ Greg shares things he’s learned from Game of Thrones. ⌘ Ely from Of Wonderland shared a list of 2019 Releases featuring disability. ⌘ La La in the Library posted the January Snidget with all the Harry Potter News. ⌘ Shannon from It Starts at Midnight talks about open endings. ⌘ Fadwa from Words Wonders shares why she loves rereading. ⌘ Brianna from Pages Unbound talks about miscategorizing adult books as young adult. ⌘ Have you seen Cait’s cover reveal of her second book? ⌘ Imryl from X=1 has created a recommendations list for my reading challenge. You can find part one here!

Dutch Blogs

⌘ Liesbet from Zwartraafje always starts the new year with numbers from last year. She also shares if she stayed within her book buying budget.

⌘ #SapphicAThon 2019 starts on February 1st to February 7th and I am planning on reading two books for that: Down Among the Sticks and Bones and The Abyss Surrounds Us.

⌘Other than that I want to read my pre orders (King of Scars, Firestart, both arrived way late), some review copies and do my buddy read with La La in the Library for The Darkest Legacy.

⌘ As for the blog, I am going on a Semi-Hiatus to fix some of the broken photos. There are still posts coming along like top ten tuesday and a wrap up post, and some books I read for review. But no more than that. Hopefully it will give me some breathing space to fix the broken photos, even though I really don’t want to spend time on it again. -_-

This monthly wrap up will be linked up with the monthly one by Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction. This so we can blog hop to each others wrap ups easier.

Dancing out of January 2019 There were some firsts this month which was interesting to say the least. There was also a lot of coughing and overal sickness though so I'm not sure how I feel about January yet.

#Personal #what I read #what i watched #wrap up january 2019

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emetophobiahelp · 5 years

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spin city is safe-ish

okie doke so idk if anyone has even heard of this show, but s01 e03 is technically unsafe. at around 15:50 the mayor (speaking on tv) falls ill and you hear gross v*/coughing after michael j. fox says, “and what does he do when he gets on his knees?"

it’s audio ONLY and you can kinda see it coming, but the cough (while brief) was gross, so mute around 15:50-55 and you should be ok

otherwise, it’s been safe so far!

#spin city #submission

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class-wom · 6 years

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Thoughts I had on a certain Legion scene from Chapter 7...

Okay, so in today’s shower, (another sign of how dangerous showers can be in my case, as that’s where my mind tends to wander, lol), I was thinking about Dan Stevens’s acting as his “American” self shortly before his “English rational mind” makes his presence known.

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Now it took me awhile to figure this out, but since I’ve ((cough)) recently rewatched Back to the Future*, I started thinking about Marty McFly’s shocked reaction to his accidental time travel, and while sadly a YT-search for the scene in question has turned up fruitless, where Marty tries to reassure himself of his “sense of reality” (much like David is vainly attempting to do in the above clip), this one is pretty close to that, and I think it may help support the question that has now come to mind: Was Dan borrowing from Michael J. Fox’s work as Marty McFly in Back to the Future to “Americanize” David Haller, at least for this particular scene?

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Now if I’m not mistaken, from what I know about the Legion-comic books, the original Back to the Future would have been released roughly around the time that the books were first published. So who knows?

*A shameless link to and/or self-promotion of a certain Downton Abbey/BTTF-crossover? would I do such a thing? 😈😇😈😇😈

I mean, hey, no pressure, but it’s the only reason I would even think of posting the above gif! bwahaha...I’m just sayin’...

#Legion #Back to the Future #Downton Abbey #Michael J. Fox #Marty McFly #David Haller #Matthew Crawley #shameless fanfic reblog #Hey it can't hurt right? right?

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weelittlewain · 4 years

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Mykonos

9.14.2019 I got a flashback to someone stomping on glass at the dance floor twirling around at the end of the night. The lights are on and people are clinging to one another in the hopes of going home together. Trying to collect my memories from dancing into walking home alone.

Everyday I wonder what the fuck I am doing here. Here I am in Mykonos Taverna eating their lunch menu hungover. I cannot remember the last time I had chicken. This whole not eating meat thing has been kind of strange. I’m not sure if I like it yet.

That’s a lie, I had a meal with chicken on my flight to Dublin because it was either that or starve to death. I took my chances considering I feared for my life as we flew over the hurricane and the turbulence began. It felt like the scene in Interstellar where they are about to embark on the long journey and Michael Caine voices over with a poem by Dylan Thomas. Do not go gentle into that good night.

That is probably the most I have ever been scared of flying – I genuinely thought for a second that was how it would end. In a hurricane. How dramatic and appropriate for someone like me.

Life is all about choices. Here I am in a restaurant on Dame street having an existential crisis over chicken soup and ginger ale. I do not even drink soda. Well, unless it’s with whiskey and lime. I think about the song Mykonos by the Fleet Foxes and finally seeing it performed live after being a fan of them for 10 years. I think about telling Kelly to wait after the concert while I saw Kristiina across the way and went to go introduce myself for the first time on the way to the bathroom. I think about it playing in the car ride to the airport for my trip here and Kristiina tapping my shoulder to the beat of the song. I never knew her father was a percussionist until that car ride and it made me regret not knowing more about him. I think about who originally brought me to this restaurant in the first place.

I think about J. He was probably my favorite patient I ever had. He was incredibly handsome and we immediately hit it off. He got drunk one night on a boat with his friends, jumped off the boat and injured his spinal cord leaving him a quadriplegic and completely reliant on a ventilator and nursing staff. I took care of him for weeks. He had his good days and bad days – some days he wanted to die and other days he remained hopeful that the diaphragmatic pacer would work and he could go home. The day of the surgery came and went finally after pushing it off for weeks – he came to our hospital specifically because where he was from could not perform it.

When you are no longer actively using your diaphragm to breathe – like J – 1 percent of your muscle dies everyday. The surgery did not work. Too much of his muscle mass had died and he would not have to freedom of venturing out into the world. I’ll never know why the surgeon waited so long.

I just sat there and held his hand, even though he couldn’t feel it and we looked at each other. He teased me about being shit at reading lips and tried to make me laugh as we both got teary eyed. I asked if he wanted a mouth swab. He had a tracheostomy so whenever he would cough I would suction what I could – if he ended up having a coughing fit and his oxygen sats tanked I would page respiratory to save the day.

He was a model and got offered a contract to go overseas for several years but he wanted to spend more time with his loved ones before making that sort of commitment. Life is all about choices and I wish that J were still alive. I wish that he would have pursued his dream and I wish that I never had to meet him in that capacity.

I thought about him a lot in my decision to leave Gainesville. The irrational part of me thought that if I stayed that I would somehow die there. That I would get into a horrific car accident, end up on my unit and have no goodbyes. I mean, I saw it everyday on that unit. I mean I had already overdosed a couple of times myself – I am not sure how I got so lucky.

J was supposed to leave several days later when I was working again. I told him that I would be there to help transfer him and he made me promise I was working. I rubbed his buzz cut and we both smiled and then clocked out. God he was so fucking beautiful. I found out he had been transferred back to his old hospital and he died several days later. I found out going through my newsfeed right as I was about to start my shift at around 6:45 a.m. There was heaviness for the rest of the day. I think part of me knew on that drive home that I would never see him again.

Some choices are made for us. Sometimes I wonder if I chose Ireland or if Ireland chose me? I wonder how different my life would be if I never went to the UC to meet up with Alex and Ryan. Suppose I never got on that plane. Suppose I never opened up that dating site and starting talking to K.

At any rate, I am here. I made it. I chose to come here even though it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I just hope it ends up being worth it.

#ireland #travel #life #college #trauma

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hangonimevolving · 4 years

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The Happiest Place on Earth, and New Year 2020 Adventures

Dear readers - I have a really convoluted update for you all today, but (I think) it has a happy ending!

First of all. HAPPY NEW YEAR 2020! Hope the new year brings us all peace, fulfillment, and most of all.... GOOD HEALTH.

The family and I kicked off the holiday season in a veritable flurry of activity. The kids celebrated their school holiday show with great fanfare...

And then I had a personal high, as I completed my second-ever Jingle Bell Jog 5K race successfully!

This was the first event of my race series and fundraiser for the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research. so I was extra happy at having ticked this item off my to-do list.

That same day, just hours after I crossed the finish line, Dr. Spouse, the kids and I packed up the car and headed north to the Orlando area, for a 6 day vacation. The week was planned to include a four-day stint visiting the parks at Walt Disney World along with my parents, who would be flying directly from New Orleans to join us.

We had a blast on this trip! After a few rough months, it was so much fun to make new memories with Ajima and Thatha, especially since taking the grandkids to Disney has long been an item on Thatha’s bucket list. We were delighted to help him work on this one!

The trip was *almost* perfect. Almost. There was just one hiccup.... and fortunately/unfortunately, it mainly involved me.

I woke up on the final day of our Disney parks adventures - Thursday, December 26 - ready to tackle Epcot, which is my favorite of the four parks. But the minute my eyes popped open, I just knew something wasn’t 100% right with me. I felt like I’d been hit by a BUS. I had horrible body ache all over, my head was pounding, and my chest felt heavy, as if someone had poured a gallon of wallpaper paste into my lungs. I groaned to myself, knowing what this meant - I was probably coming down with a cold - but I still forced myself up and to get ready, since it was our last day of the trip and there was no way I was missing it!

By the time we loaded into the car and headed out, the leaky faucet nose had started. I definitely sneezed a LOTTTTTTT through the entire day - huge, rib-cracking sneezes, that had my entire rib cage and back hurting well before lunchtime and through the evening. But I pressed forward, tried not to make a big deal. As I had been throughout the trip, I was even more militant in insisting the family use hand sanitizer and antibacterial hand wipes all day long than I already had been (which was a lot). But yeah, it was a very long and difficult day.

I put myself to bed in isolation that night - I didn’t want anyone else catching my germs! The good side of my isolation is, I didn’t disturb anyone else’s sleep that night, and I managed to abstain from infecting anyone. One down side is, I suppose it meant that no one in the house saw how sick I actually was, and by the transitive property, perhaps even I didn't register how sick I was. That night, I ran a very high fever, yet was having teeth-chattering chills for hours. I couldn’t breathe through my nose, and coughed nonstop. I got awful, fitful sleep, with weird, violent, vivid dreams all night.

The next day, I started suspecting that maybe I didn’t just have a cold - maybe it was the flu? We tried to locate an urgent care clinic where I could get a rapid flu test, but it proved hard to find anywhere with a <6 hour wait, and I was absolutely determined not to get anyone else sick (least of all my post-CABG father or my two young kids). So I insisted Dr. Spouse just call in a Tamiflu prescription for the entire household - it would be therapeutic for me, and prophylactic for all of them. He dutifully obliged, and we were all on Tamiflu by 2:30 pm Friday. We said goodbye to my parents this evening - they flew out of Orlando directly to New Orleans - and Dr. Spouse, the kids and I would drive back to Miami the next day.

That night’s sleep was worse than the previous, and featured the worst fever sweats I’ve ever had in my life, soaking through all my clothes, all the bedsheets, down to the mattress cover. It seriously looked like someone had dumped the Gatorade bucket on me after winning the Super Bowl. And again, I had violent, bloody dreams of war imagery all night....

The next day was every bit as painful as the last, and perhaps more so - my entire head and chest were clogged with sludge, the body ache was debilitating, and worst was that I felt like I couldn’t really think straight or make good decisions. In a nutshell, we weren’t packed up at all, and I woke up from fitful sleep about 9:30 that day and to my horror realized we had to check out of the rental cottage by 11 - - I was trying to run around and pack, but my body and brain were literally not working properly together. It was brutal - and we were definitely an hour late vacating the property. I ended up falling asleep within minutes as we started our drive home, and slept 3.5 hours of the 4 hour drive, which SHOCKED me and Dr. Spouse - I never sleep on road trips! Should have known this was a bad sign that something was really wrong.

Sunday and Monday, things started looking up. I still had terrible sinus congestion, but the cough and fevers were improving, and my energy level was slowly returning! Hurray! Time to get back to normal..... except, weirdly, some new weird symptoms popped up. I was blowing my nose a LOT, admittedly - but I developed a nosebleed sometime early Monday morning, and it just... didn’t stop. For well over 24 hours. Then I noticed a few weird red spots on my face and neck - I assumed maybe I’d scratched in my sleep when I was sweaty at night? But by Tuesday, there were more red spots in more places. Everywhere. On my back, stomach, chest, arms, legs, feet... my sinus symptoms were better, but these spots were weird. It hit a head on Tuesday morning when Dr. Spouse and I sat down to breakfast. I definitely had more spots than I’d had an hour before. I poured myself a bowl of cereal and began to eat, but then I noticed my mouth felt funny. I realized, to my horror (sorry, TMI) - I had big spots in my mouth too, and they looked like these blood-filled blisters all over the insides of my cheeks and the back of my throat. They looked like dark purple jellybeans, stuck everywhere on my oral mucosa - and some of them were doubling and tripling in size before my very eyes. One burst, right there at the table, and suddenly a trickle of blood oozed our the corner of my mouth. Dracula Mommy, yikes - Dey was at once amazed and horrified. And all the while, my nose was still bleeding.

Dr. Spouse looked grave and got panicky. He had three patients to see in clinic, but he wanted me to get medical attention ASAP. I initially felt like maybe this was a bit of an overreaction, I didn’t think it warranted an ER trip, and I was feeling rather sheepish to bother a lot of people, and bewildered at the childcare logistics - especially considering it was New Year’s Eve. Besides, my sinus congestion and energy level were feeling better - so how sick could I really be?

Well, turns out I was wrong. It turns out there was actually something seriously wrong with me.

Blood tests revealed I had developed a very serious condition called thrombocytopenia. This is a condition where a person’s blood platelets levels drop dangerously low, making it difficult or impossible for them to clot. It makes any sort of wound or injury or weakness in any vessel or the body a potential site for deadly hemhorrage. In my case, it happened to be very severe. The normal lab ranges for blood platelets are between 150,000-400,000. At my ER admission, my labs came in at 1,000, with a little downward arrow next to them! It was a dire situation - basically, I could have hemhorraged from anywhere, from my head to my toes, from my brain to my entire GI tract. I could have died.

Very quickly after the issue was diagnosed, I was administered a transfusion of IV steroids, followed by two units of donor platelets.

After the platelets, I had to receive something called IVIG, or IV immunoglobulins. I believe these are to boost my immune system and help it stop accidentally nuking itself in the course of fighting the flu virus, or whatever pathogen started me down this insane road. The IVIG infusion, as it would turn out, would take like HOURS - maybe 8 hours total - and it was determined that I’d have to be admitted to the hospital (to the ICU, no less!) for a whopping FOUR DAYS, to receive further IVIG treatments until my platelet levels came back to an acceptable range. I was FLOORED and overwhelmed at this news, of course - again is really thought perhaps Dr. Spouse was being overly cautious initially. But I soon realized the gravity of the situation and promised to comply with all the healthcare professionals’ advice.

Although I cringed to do it, knowing a) what they’ve gone through recently, and b) the fact that we’d JUST spent the week with them in Orlando and sent them peacefully home, I found myself with no choice but to phone Ajima and Thatha from the ER and explain what was going on. True to form, they mobilized within minutes, and had plane tickets booked in no time. They arrived right around midnight on New Years Eve to relieve our wonderful friend/former Nanny S, who graciously pinch-hit and babysat the kids at home so Dr. Spouse could come be with me. I’d been in the ER from about 1 pm till maybe 5:30 or 6 pm, and eventually been transferred to an intermediary ICU room, where I’d spend the next 4 days.

Do you see my purple spots?? Hard to visualize in these pics, but they’re there.

I spent the next 4 days mostly in bed - I wasn’t permitted to walk around unattended, use the bathroom on my own, shower without supervision, etc. because even though I felt fine and am ordinarily physically able, I was considered a bleed risk if I accidentally stumbled or took a fall. So in bed I stayed. And for about 10-12 hours each day, I received IV infusions through both arms of steroids and IVIG. It was a surreal experience, but also an incredibly fortuitous one, in that I didn’t really feel all that sick! Dr. Spouse would come visit me for a few hours each afternoon through the nights, and my parents would bring the kids for about an hour each evening. I had a wonderful crew of nurses who looked after me, talked with me, made sure I was comfortable and well-fed. And my medical team was also very good, especially my hematologist, who was careful, methodical, and very even-keel about everything, explaining what had likely happened to me, what the next steps were, and what I should look out for in the future.

I have A LOT more to say about this experience, especially all that has now happened afterwards, and all the follow-up care I must now receive. It is going to be a journey for awhile longer. But for now, a few thoughts in closing out this post....

It’s weird. Obviously, I wish NONE of this had happened - but I also felt so incredibly lucky. Because:

1). I’m so glad my post-heart surgery dad, senior citizen mom, and young kids didn’t get this virus, and that it was only me. I’m also glad Dr. Spouse, our primary breadwinner, care provider for hundreds of people, and our beloved daddice of our family didn’t get it.

2). If this absolutely had to happen to me, I consider myself lucky that in recent years, I’ve put my fitness first, and especially these last few weeks, I’ve been training for a race series, which means I’ve been eating right, training rigorously, attending to my cardiovascular health as well as my lean muscle composition, taking lots of multivitamins, and even pursuing yoga for restorative, rehabilitative, and emotional/mental health. Basically, I was AS HEALTHY as I could have been going into this, and I think that saved my life. I didn’t have a fatal vascular weakness that gave way to hemorrhage, because I’ve had the blessing of the opportunity to take good care of myself.

3). I have an ANGEL on my side. My uncle Marley was definitely looking out for me. Aside from being a huge source of love and support - it so happens that Marley suffered for many years from a platelet disorder which was constantly being managed. He was of course the first person who came to mind when I got diagnosed with this issue - - and I swear he was looking out for me. I even have evidence to that effect. Will share in a followup post.

4). Last but not least - - this one is overwhelming and wonderful.

I met my husband when we were about 18 years old. I had no idea at the time what the future held for us - but this person has evolved into many things, including a WONDERFUL, sensitive, intelligent, and proactive physician. He is REALLY, REALLY good at what he does for a living - and I think that’s because he would do it even if he didn't make a living doing it. He LOVES his particular field of medicine. And it so happens that he is a stroke neurologist, who sees patients with brain bleeds and emergency events related to bleeding/clotting every single day. So it was my incredible fortune that the man I’m married to, saw what was happening with me, wasted ZERO time, and insisted I get care.

My husband saved my life. He is my hero.

Alright. I think I’ll end this one here. In upcoming posts, I’ll be discussing several things, including:

- the aftermath of my great Flu Adventure - the types of follow-up care and remaining question marks about my health (and hopefully I’ll be getting some reassuring data to share here!)

- an update about my Race Series! Obviously (and heartbreakingly) I’m going to have to rejigger some things here. I am working on my emotions with this. But I’ll share it all with you.

In conclusion - - I want to wish you all a happy new year. May it be a year of good health and fortune for everyone! Big hugs and big love :)

#illness #ITP #thrombocytopenia #flu #Disney #travel #family #Dr. Spouse #marriage

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