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placeinthemiddleofnowhere · 8 months

Text

Yo! Adrian

Pairing: König x Reader

Summary: You’re determined to find out why everyone thinks König is so scary, afterall he’s just some guy that’s taller than most people right? He’s probably harmless! Well, he’s a little scary, but you still like him anyway.

(No use of y/n or mention of gender/race)

AN: It's finally here, the LAST CHAPTER! What a journey this has been from a silly little oneshot to a whole fucking series that so many people have sent me so many kind messages and fanart of 💕 I'm so excited that I get to share this with you, and I'm so glad that I've been able to complete it and give you guys a full story. Thank you so so much to everyone that has sent me their support and kept the story going. Love you all sm, please let me know what you think whn you're done. I can't wait to see your reactions ✨🥰

Part 10 of A Rocky Start - Full Masterlist Here

-☠️-

You swore you could feel König’s fingers caressing your face.

You could feel his heavy digits tracing over every tiny pore and for a second you could breathe calmly, you felt light. In the shadow of his phantom’s presence you smiled airily and thought of better times. It was as if a rift had opened in the room and you were no longer part of it, you were somewhere far away and lying in an unfamiliar bed, naked under the pale sheets in the shine of moonlight.

Just like always, you fell into each other's arms and drank in each other’s bodies just as greedily as the last time you’d met. His heady piney scent would soothe your tired nerves and his hands would roam your body, chasing off every stray piece of worry that dared linger. It was your memories of comfort that you were clinging onto the most, holding them high above your head as you sunk into the depths of your mind, cold flesh tingling with the thought of König’s fiery warmth.

You weren’t in some hole in the middle of nowhere. You were with him.

There’s nowhere you can be sent to that I won’t find a way to reach you.

You kept repeating those words over and over in your mind, throat constricting as you remembered those whispered promises that he’d given to you in your bunk. He was with you, you and he were joined together inextricably. It didn’t matter if he was actually there or if you were simply losing your mind to lack of sleep and sustenance, he was with you always.

All of a sudden König’s fingers stroked a wave across your cheek, a thin airy line that swung across your face like a breeze. It made you frown. What was he doing? Was he playing a game with you? It was so late, you both needed to sleep. Why was he doing this?

When you opened your eyes again, it was as if you’d been woken into hell. Rousseau grinned down at you, his metal pole hanging loosely from his hands, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Reality was breaking down in front of your eyes, pieces of it glitching in your peripherals. The bedsheets and moonlight fell away and all you were left with was your dirty sheet in the middle of a crusty smelling shithole bunker.

“Where’s… wh- where’s König?” you croaked.

Getting those words out was like fighting through a sandstorm to talk. Your throat had never been so scratchy, and your head was so clouded and heavy. Everything was such a jumble you couldn’t understand how you were lying with König one moment and then back with Rousseau again tje next, it didn’t make sense.

“What’ve you done with him?” you cried, swaying with the effort it took to speak. “Where’s König!”

Rousseau shook his head and nudged your shoulder with his weapon, the thick metal bar barely even prodded you and you were sent spiralling. Your body tipped like a glass full of water and you spilled onto the floor, lurching onto your hands and knees as soon as you were able. Though you were shaking helplessly even as you steadied yourself, it felt like your muscles were rapidly atrophying in real time, tearing apart and wasting away like bean bag stuffing pouring from a tear.

“You’re not doing very well, hm?” Rousseau taunted, walking around your pathetic crawling form. “There is no König here. Just you and the Captain, Sergeant.”

The way he said König, it sounded like a curse.

You shrank back at his spitting venom and swallowed the bile that threatened to erupt upward from your throat. It was all too much. You couldn’t understand where you were anymore, couldn’t remember what was happening.

You closed your eyes and opened them again, executing the world’s slowest blink. Finally looking around properly, you saw Rousseau and when you swivelled you saw his faithful guard dogs, the men that always seemed to haunt the corners of your vision. A further glance had you finding Price on his knees, swaying gently as he tried miserably to stay upright. He was dancing to the same sick death drum that you were.

Your eyes lit up in recognition.

“You were…I was…you were going to kill me,” you said dumbly, holding your head as you rose to your knees. “Why do you keep playing with us like this?”

Rousseau stood in front of you and tilted his head, watchful dark eyes cascading down your shivering body. It was like looking back at a bear. A vicious giant towering above you, threatening to charge at any second and shred you to pieces. Though he never did. He always stopped just before he could truly break you.

Break your body anyway. You were more convinced by the day that your mind was gone.

“Are you really so eager to die, Sergeant?” He questioned.

His voice was light, playful as a cat batting a mouse around.

“You recorded a video teeing up for a final death blow…It doesn’t look very good if I’m said to be alive after that. Makes your threats look empty.”

Rousseau raised an eyebrow. His gaunt features slackened, but he didn’t look as angry as one might expect a scorned warlord to look. It seemed more like he was considering his next move carefully. Probably gauging what you could take after everything you’d endured already.

“You think I don’t mean to kill you?”

His voice had a harder edge to it now.

“I think that you’ve taken far too long to do it.”

It was true. As much as you still clung to the hope of rescue, you knew well enough that being constantly on the move between decrepit holes and dank pits meant that you weren’t going to be easily tracked. The only other release you could be certain of was death, and at the stage you were at, it felt like it’d be a mercy.

Your stomach constantly ached with clawing hunger, the kind that had you hallucinating little hands inside your belly - scraping at the lining just to try and find scraps. Your lips were dry and cracked and your eyes were always struggling to stay open. Your lids weighed so heavy on you, your entire body did in fact. It was becoming more and more of a chore just to keep breathing, nevermind trading barbs with the torturer in chief.

Soon you’d be as out of it as Price was.

“You are a government dog. All you know is ‘go fetch’,” Rousseau said eventually, straying from your side and leisurely working his way over to Price. “You do things quick and dirty. We are playing the long game, I am building something, I’m heading a revolution. Those aren’t built on quick decisions - no, they are chess moves. I am just aligning my pieces.”

He came to a stop behind Price’s back, his long legs were almost touching Price’s bare body, his black trousers were almost the same colour as some of your poor captain's bruises. Rousseau still held the length of metal piping in his hands, he was swinging it gently in his grip, meaningfully gazing at you and down to the bat. You stared between them from under your hooded eyelids and licked your lips.

What was he going to do?

You winced when you heard the crack.

“Sneak,” Price gasped.

He tumbled forward, his back crumbling as he’d taken on another hit. The Captain's mangled body was only getting worse by the hour, his cuts were weeping again and his bruises looked like animal markings, like something that had become inherently part of him. You had no idea how he was still going.

Even still, you flew forward and urged him up, looking into his tired eyes and trying to coax him back. At least if he was up he couldn’t be trampled. You’d learned that lesson the hard way.

Price gripped your arm and you huffed under the weight, almost screaming as you tried to keep his body aloft with what little strength you had left. His roughened fingers were scraping at your papery thin skin and you clenched your teeth while you fought to balance him. It was getting harder and harder to set him right with every time he fell, but no matter what you’d keep doing it.

Even while you’d gone against his orders he still held you up and made you keep fighting. It was only fair that you did the same in return.

“Price? Price, are you ok? Price?”

He took a moment to reply. His body wobbled a little, threatening to tip again, but he righted himself in the last minute, his scruffy jaw almost swinging as he gasped in a breath.

“Sneak, you’ve gotta shut the fuck up,” he coughed.

You almost laughed despite the situation.

“Affirmative,” you grimaced, resting against him as you managed to work out a delicate balancing act.

“Wait a minute now, Captain,” Rousseau tutted, signalling for his men to come forward. “You should welcome your Sergeant’s words. I’ve spared Sneak for now, but the next video is your final as a pair. I have something special planned…but all in good time. For now you can go back to your crate, dogs.”

The two of you stared at him, looking up through your tired gazes. The news didn’t feel shocking, you’d expected to die minutes ago so you hadn’t been holding out hope to steal time for much longer. It almost felt like a relief for a moment to know that you could be certain of something.

Though the relief didn’t last long. Not when his men finally reached you both and yanked you apart, dragging you along the floor like a couple of retired mannequins. Your skin burned with the familiar feeling of loose gravel and it didn’t take long until you were seething, clawing at the man’s gloved hand just to try and stop his forceful grip. It never ever seemed to help though.

“Try not to get yourself killed from fighting back. It would ruin the plans I have for you, Sergeant!”

The blanket that had previously been slouched on your back was now tangled around your waist. It was gathering itself between your legs and around your hips, snaking around you in a boa like grip. It might’ve felt like a relief earlier on in your time, but you knew well enough the men weren’t bothering about your state of dress, they never did. They would always drag you through the halls kicking and screaming, clothesless and dirty, feral as a child of the forest. Somehow the indignity faded with time, lost to the hurt you were drowning under.

You looked up at the man and his smug bearded face and snarled. You soon took to scrabbling against the floor and trying to get as much purchase as you could. If you fought hard enough maybe you could work yourself into a semi crawl by the his side, relieve the burning of your back and feet. The man wasn’t having it though.

He kicked at your legs and threw your arm away, sending you reeling and knocking into the dark wall by the doorway. Your jumbled head was spinning when you slammed into the concrete. The dim flickering light danced in your eyes and after a few blinks, you regained enough vision to see the man advancing back towards you. You cowered.

You feebly stuck your arms in front of you, blocking your face and hunching up just to try and protect yourself. Even if you thought it was useless, even if you’d tried to do the same thing many times already and failed. You tried anyway.

“You don’t follow orders well, soldier,” Rousseau scolded, voice full of amusement.

He had no idea.

His lackey’s steps barrelled toward you, he shouted something in french and with each ricocheting sound that slapped your ears, you shook like a mast in a storm. You shook, but still you cursed at the man, you cursed at Rousseau and you peaked through your makeshift body shield and cursed at the guard dragging Price away.

No matter what they did to you, you revelled in the fact that one day they would be caught. One day König would catch up to them, he and the remaining numbers in the 141 would crash in and they would draw ten times the blood that Rousseau ever could. They would wreak the kind of revenge you would’ve chewed König out for only months ago.

And you would celebrate it now.

You gritted your teeth and braced, the man was only steps away from you. Rousseau was smirking to himself in the background, metal pipe discarded as he stood with his arms crossed just as casually as if he were catching the tail end of a sitcom. You waited for the hit. You tensed every screaming muscle in your frail body and shut your eyes tight, scrunching your face in full knowing of the hurt you were about to feel.

Your heart beat furiously. You waited.

Boom

The entire room shook and you were sent sprawling and coughing into the smoky darkness. Dust swirled around your eyes and seconds later the room went completely pitch dark. You blinked.

Was this another of your hallucinations?

Were they really getting that vivid?

This felt real.

All of a sudden you were being yanked up and you screamed. Your arm felt like it had been pulled out of its socket and then replaced about five thousand times. It was sheer agony. Though you didn’t have the strength to fight the force. Instead you went along with it, crying out at whoever it was that was taking you further into the darkness.

“Get the fuck off me!”

“Shut the fuck up!”

The voice confirmed it. The voice and the heavy metal weapon that struck your jaw.

Rousseau had taken you from your heap and was now ragdolling through the doorway, stealing you both through the trembling tunnels like a wraith. You had no idea how he was able to navigate the place so smoothly with a fighting captive and sheer darkness and yet he was doing it anyway. Unfortunately for you.

“Come! Gather the Captian!”

More explosions sounded overhead, gunshots rung out like hailstones hitting the ground, all muted and dull. Somewhere up above you there was a fucking massive firefight. The realisation had you grinning from ear to ear, even as blood sluiced from your split mouth.

With the very little brain capacity you had, even you were able to figure out who it was that was up there.

Your stomach was churning and your legs were barely able to crank themselves one in front of the other, but still you knew that König was close. You swore you could sense him even through the concrete. Somewhere in the battering of rock and scream of metal you could sense the six foot, ten inches of vengeance tearing up the ground overhead.

“König,” you choked.

Maybe you were going to make it.

You were tugged furiously forward.

“No one can help you now. Snivelling like that will only make your death worse” Rousseau seethed.

You frowned, stumbling forward only moments later. You tripped over a gap in the flooring and pinwheeled forward, falling through the darkness and onto the ground once again.

You shook your head, but before you could even think of recovering, you were blinded by a sudden shock of light. You let out a howling wail and covered your eyes, reeling as you tried to deal with the shock of it all.

Your head was pounding, the gunshots in the distance were relentlessly clashing with the swelling in your head. Your eyes felt like they might roll backwards through their sockets. Your nose was overwhelmed with thick dust, your throat was clogged with it too. Your ears were practically shrivelling with the wall of sound.

All of it combined was sensory overload.

You blacked out for a moment, temporarily lost. You saw König through flashes, but you knew it wasn’t really him. It couldn’t be. König wouldn’t just stand there, he’d be pulling you up into his arms and taking you away. He wouldn’t watch on as you were dragged around in that new level of hell.

You blinked back through the spots and the flashes of unreality and you were greeted with the sight of a union jack unfurling high above you. The fabric unfurled like an angry ghost and your eyes were filled with dancing red white and blue. The lines didn’t seem to stay still, they were crossing and uncrossing, blurring softly in and out of focus.

“What…what are you-”

“What did I tell you? Shut the fuck up!”

The metal pipe came down on your head once more and you gasped at the pressure, losing the breath from your lungs. You sprawled out like a bearskin rug and pasted yourself to the floor, watching dead eyed as Price was thrown by your side. He was equally as jelly-boned as you.

“What are you doing?” you whispered, too done in to follow the directions you were given.

Rousseau musn’t have heard you though. You followed the swelling blob that you assumed to be him and watched as it adjusted something and then gathered something else. Fuck. You were too fried to see what was happening. Everything was tinged in red, white and blue, nothing was solid, nothing felt real.

Well, except maybe the blood that was still threatening to drown you. You hacked away at that and sobbed lightly, feeling the tears dribbling pathetically down your cheeks. Somewhere in the back of your mind you realised that you weren’t going to live through this afterall. Even if you did, was there going to be much of you left?

Rousseau only confirmed your suspicions as he marched forward and tugged you up by your neck. You screamed and flailed with every little shred of energy you had left, but still it wasn’t enough. He was strangling you with something, wrapping something around your throat while he batted off your hands.

“No! No! No! No! N-” you choked until you couldn’t anymore.

The thing was tightened around you and soon he didn’t have to hold you anymore. You gazed upwards and watched in horror as a long snaking line of rope was yanked upward - with you along with it.

The choking and hacking only got worse from that point on. Your throat was constricting, you were flapping like a headless chicken. The pressure was threatening to burst your eyeballs, but even still you were cursed to see, cursed to watch.

Price was being dragged the same as you, muscles twitching and head swaying like a lolling buoy. The camera was in front of you both, red light blinking ominously from the other end of the room. Rousseau was swinging his arms around and he was proselytising as always, sounding somehow even more passionate than usual. His voice was screeching and booming all at once, it filled the room and attacked the camera, it sent you swinging in his grasp.

“...and now this is what they die for! They may capture me, but they will never prevail! They will only turn to ash, while we burn on forever!”

Out of the corner of your bulging eyes you could see the flag behind you set alight. You gawped at it like a flapping fish, tongue flailing around uselessly even as you continued to fight the rope. It was no use. Your vision was almost completely fading now, black was corrupting the edges and inch by inch it was taking over completely. Your body was losing its strength. Your arms fell limply to their sides.

“Nein!”

A scream of terrible anguish filled your senses. Your body slumped down. The darkness in your eyes receded for a moment.

Boots filled your eyes, you coughed roughly upon seeing them, shocked as the two sets of feet got all too close to coming down on your head. The leading set stopped in their tracks and turned, forcing the other set of feet to back away before any final blow could come. You closed your eyes a moment and focused on hauling in tiny lungfuls of air, coughing like an old hag with every dying choke, but nevertheless you took those painful breaths in like they were bitter medicine.

“You will pay! I will rip you apart, I will stick a knife through every nerve you have! You will suffer for what you’ve done, you self righteous sack of shit!”

You widened your eyes and even through the terrible pain you were fighting, you roared through it and forced your head up. You knew that voice, you knew that high pitched screaming growl. The sight of him only confirmed it.

Was it really…were you dreaming again?

You blinked furiously and choked on a sob. Please don’t be dreaming, please don’t be dreaming. The mantra filled your mind and expanded into every little piece of you. Even through the dizziness and the labouring of your struggling body, you could recognise that man out of anywhere, you could’ve recognised him in the pitch black of the blown out tunnel.

König was laying into Rousseau with the fury of a wounded lion. He rammed him into the wall and forced his head into the concrete over and over, the sound of sickening smack managed to break through the barrier of fuzz in your ears. It managed to break through König’s garbled screaming. Even in your broken state the site brought on an unwilling half smile that came slinking sickeningly from your subconscious.

“Don’t you dare move, don’t you dare do anything but keep breathing! You don’t get to leave this world until I make you regret ever seeing the light of your first day! Do you hear me? Your fight is finished!”

König threw Rousseau to the ground and brought his shining black boot hard down into his stomach. Rousseau panted out, a wormy little gasp broke past his lips but nothing more. He was forced to lie flat on the floor, torn between clutching at his cracked head and his flattened belly. The man who had towered over you had finally been brought down, turned into debris.

You could hardly believe it. You couldn’t move for the shock. You just stared at Rousseau, wide eyed, unflinching through the battlefield of pain that raged through every muscle and bone from within you. Somewhere above you were sure you could recognise your name being called, but everything was too fuzzy, the inky darkness was taking over, drawing you into its loving embrace. The dust was settling, your heartbeat was stilling. Everything coalesced into one feeling. Relief.

You’d have never have felt that way before after seeing something so unnecessarily violent, but after all you’d been through… you weren’t so sure you could bring yourself to be upset.

“…Darling please look at me.”

The faint whisper broke through your spaced out sound barrier. It was anguished, the voice it came from was hoarse and panting. So much emotion was poured into it, it couldn’t help but wash away the patina of death’s touch.

“Sneak, it can’t end like this. You told me you would come to Austria, yeah? You said you’d let me show you home. You have lots still to do. Look at me. Look at me! You said we’d make it through together Sneak, I’m not going to let you get away from me, do you hear me? Look at me!”

You forced your eyes to flicker upward, trying in vain to settle them on your saviour. The light in the room was so bright though, and his face- no his mask was so dark. You could only make out blackness and dark streaks of red.

You grit your teeth and shuttered your eyes, blinking a few times until you could see König’s own big wet eyes staring forlornly down at you. You smiled then.

“It..is…you,” you croaked, voice all but useless from your injuries. “Not…dreaming.”

His eyes lit up at your garbled words, the dim blue puddles turned to shining icy lakes. The corners of your mouth lifted heavily into a pained smile. Those eyes didn’t lie, they weren’t figments of your imagination. This was real, you thought to yourself. Even if you might die, you still got to see him again, you got to look into his eyes again and hear his voice and bathe in the warmth of his presence.

“No, you’re not dreaming,” König confirmed, hastily looking from you and to your surroundings, “you can't dream now, you have to listen to me, you mustn't close your eyes. Hold on for me, darling.”

“Kö…Kön-”

You launched into an ugly coughing fit, your head lit up an alarm system. System failure, everything was red. Your concentration broke and already you disobeyed König. You closed your eyes and lost yourself to the hacking and choking. It felt like your lungs were closing, like they were balloons getting filled so completely they might pop. Every nerve, every wound, every cell in your body was on fire.

You just wanted it to end. Why couldn’t the suffering end?

“Shh, c’mon breathe. Darling, breathe for me and take control. C’mon! Breathe for me!”

König drew you into his arms and wrapped something thick and warm around you. It might’ve been a comfort if not for the sparkling firecracker that was being set off in your chest. The endless coughing that was tearing up through your throat.

Tears filled your eyes. No matter how much you wanted to cling to life, if even just for König, you weren’t sure you were strong enough. You weren’t even sure how you’d made it that far to begin with. Raw hope, you’d supposed. Though it didn’t feel like enough anymore. The agony was too much.

“Sneak, you have to hold on,” König pleaded, rubbing his hands as firmly as your battered back would allow. “Please…don’t leave me alone.”

Dammit.

You wheezed and cried, clenching your fists with all your might. Your ears rang with a high pitched sound, something you imagined to be angel screams ripping through your ears. You were turning away from death and running, you were sprinting towards life again, toward the scrabbling ugly beast that ran through the chambers of your crumbling body and clawed down at the walls. Pain.

You gulped in what felt like a litre of air and held on, falling silent for a second until you slowly let it go and felt quiet once again. König’s arms stiffened around you, you could feel his fingers carving grooves into the melted clay of your skin.

“Sneak?”

You opened your eyes again and settled them on König’s, blinking a few times so that he could still see proof of your presence. He didn’t look as relieved as he did the first time, but there was still a glimmer of hope in his face, still detectable no matter how small. His breaths seemed to resume too, you could see the faint puff start up from behind the dark material of his hood.

“Sneak! Price!” A voice broke through the strangled calm.

You blinked again and directed your eyes toward the sound, only daring to crack your neck just a little so that you could see. It was Gaz.. Well, Gaz and Soap. Gaz was thundering over to Price in seconds, squatting over him and grabbing at him, begging him to come to. However Soap was torn, he was frozen in silent horror in the doorway, barely there even as he stood. His face seemed to hollow as he surveyed the two camps that filled the room, though something dark seemed to fill him again when he settled on looking between your groups.

He was looking at Rousseau.

“Soap, help me with Price!” Gaz demanded.

He didn’t listen to Kyle. He ignored him in fact and strided over to the centre of the room, grinding to a stop in front of Rousseau’s unconscious body. He knelt down and checked for a pulse, lips pursing when he must’ve found what he was looking for. Still alive, you guessed.

Why else would he be pulling zip ties from his back pocket? You hazily watched as he tightened them soundly around his wrists and ankles, double checking each one.

“He seems to be alive. How’re they?” Soap grunted, shooting over to Gaz and settling at Price’s other side. “König, how’s Sneak?”

Watching everyone felt like streaming on a bad connection, your vision was lagging, the frames kept flickering. It was a struggle to concentrate on their movements and breathe at the same time. You were faltering toward the darkness again.

“Not good,” König whined, tightening his embrace on you. “Sneak’s fading fast, we have to get out of here and get to a medic.”

“Price isnt much better,” Gaz grunted, huffing as he lifted Price into a standing position.

Just then another shadow filled the room, it grew and stretched from the doorway like a blight.

“Alright, halls are clear. How’re we looking in here?”

Ghost’s gruff voice echoed off the chalky walls. He looked between you all, eyes darting around and checking in on everyone, gun angled low to the ground. He looked like he was ready to destroy an entire army, his eyes were set hard and his stance was tense and ready. He was breathing fast.

“Bad. We gotta go,” Soap answered.

“Fucks sakes, get Price covered will you?” Ghost growled, throwing one of the discarded blankets toward Gaz and Soap.

You looked down at yourself then, only suddenly realising that König had stuck you into one of his sweaters earlier. He must’ve brought it knowing that you’d be naked…he’d seen the videos. A grim thought took hold after. At least if you’d died then, you weren’t dying knowing that everyone was staring at your naked body anymore.

“Wrong thing to fuss over, mate,” Price coughed, finally piping up after his long silence. “We just need to get out of here - quick.”

He sounded better than you for once. They clearly hadn’t been choking him quite so badly during the filming, he sounded reasonably clear after everything he’d been through. He accepted the blanket that was being draped over him nonetheless, but it was hard not to spot the annoyance that overtook him. His brows were knit together tight.

“We’ll get out, Price, we’ve got things handled,” Ghost assured, finally strapping his gun onto his back. “König, is Sneak going to be alright? Can you get them back to transport?”

“Yes,” König answered, his response harsh through his gritted teeth. “I’ll get Sneak back.”

“Good. I’ll handle Rousseau.”

The way that Ghost said that sounded like Rousseau might not make it back to the transport with the rest of you. Not that you could argue sense into him. Your vocal chords were fried. Though even if they weren’t, you couldn’t be sure you’d have much strength to speak. Your body felt like it was balancing on a knife’s edge, swaying too and fro between darkness and life.

Closing your eyes and accepting darkness wasn’t an option however. You had to keep fighting. You kept blinking furiously and breathed in however much air your struggling lungs would allow you to. You focused on your heartbeats, clung to König’s hard body and willed yourself to keep going. You weren’t going to let yourself fade out. You couldn’t face knowing that you’d leave him alone, couldn’t face knowing you’d break your promise.

“Darling, I know you’ve been through so much, but you have to hold on for a bit longer, ok?” König whispered.

His mouth was lowered to your ear. You could feel the roughened material of his hood caressing your skin, lighting a fuse just beneath the surface. You could feel it feathering through to the surface of your skull.

“Ok,” you whispered.

He stood up at that, your single utterance spurring him on and forcing him to go. Unfortunately you didn’t feel quite the same way, in fact you screamed out raggedly the moment you were forced to change position. It had him apologising furiously in your ear, but you could only shake your head at him, urging him on with a faded look.

“Just stay with me, Sneak.”

You nodded your head this time, though it was easier promised than done. You were aware that König was taking you through the shot up hallways, but you knew yourself that you weren’t staying conscious the whole way.

There were entire sections that seemed to be cleared without your knowledge. Some moments you’d only just be turning corners and the next you would bob your head past König’s shoulder and acknowledge an entire straight corridor behind you both.

Hold on.

You continued to blink sleepily and breathe.

Don’t leave me alone.

Time ran like slow honey. Each breath seemed to span hours. König was talking to you, but you weren’t entirely sure what it was he was saying. They seemed like affirmations, you were sure at some point he was promising to buy you things from that deli that you liked in town, but you weren’t awake for long to hear it.

Towards the end you must’ve been gone for a solid few minutes. You went from almost total darkness then violently awoke to four terrified faces surrounding you at once, all bathed in the yellow light of day like they were standing under buttercups. There was a whirring sound all around you and your body felt like it was smothered in bubble wrap. You could hardly feel a thing.

“The drugs must be helping!” Soap shouted hopefully, his voice almost lost under the loud whooshes of air all around you.

Were you on a helicopter?

You blinked up at the ceiling and smiled euphorically, almost laughing until you were forced to choke back more coughs. It forced your face to scrunch and the light around you to shatter.

Why were you coughing? What was happening? Why were you in a helicopter?

Oh no, it’s happening again I’m dreaming, you thought, absolutely horrified at the thought of waking up in the darkness again. It was the only explanation. How did you go from being beaten to being in a helicopter with all of your boys? It simply couldn’t be real.

“Not…real,” you croaked sadly, “Not…real.”

“Sneak, save your throat,” König roared, his voice sounding similarly distant as Soap’s.

His hand felt so heart shatteringly solid, like something that was really there. Hadn’t you felt him like that earlier and awoke to find it was all fake? His voice as well. The realisation brought on a violent sob. You were reduced to tears in seconds, shivering violently into the hard floor beneath you. You just couldn’t tell what was happening anymore, you couldn’t feel anything properly. Your skin felt fuzzy and your mind was filled with pillow stuffing.

“You’re safe, Sneak. It’s alright!”

You jumped when you heard König’s voice come through loud and clear. A weird snug feeling encapsulated your head and you frowned, not understanding that you’d been graced with a pair of headphones. The drugs really were doing their work, but you were too gone to even think of that.

“Sneak hold on for me, ok? Just a little bit longer, my love,” König begged.

His voice was so hoarse and scratchy. However you heard it loud and clear.

“Mm…love you,” you whispered. “Been…dreaming bout…you.”

Even if it was a dream, you were happy to fall into it now. The warm fuzz was spreading further through your veins, cushioning your insides pleasantly from all the misery and strain. The idea of this being one of your last dreams tickled at your brain and you almost felt like giggling again. The sunshine was returning to the edges of your vision.

“Sneak, listen to König and stay awake, alright? Don’t close your eyes Sneak!”

“Soap?” you frowned.

He’d never been in your visions before. Not that you were angry to hear his voice again, but you were thoroughly confused as to why he’d appeared all of a sudden.

“Stop talking, Sneak. Your throat’s fucked.”

Ghost?

“Yeah, you can relax for a little bit, ok? Just concentrate on us.”

Gaz?

“Stop overwhelming them,” Price growled out. “All of you shut it.”

Were they all there? You strained your head, moaning when you couldn’t move very much. Something was preventing you. Were you strapped down? You struggled and huffed out a few heavy breaths and soon found that it was no use. You couldn’t move. You could only face ahead.

That wasn’t so bad either. Soon König was filling your sights and he was leaning above you, floating into frame like an angel. He was wearing his half mask, allowing you to see his uncovered eyes and messy blonde hair. More than ever you wanted to reach out and stroke it, though you knew well enough that you couldn't in your restrained predicament. You pouted.

“Wan…feel…you…”

“Shhh, darling. Don’t talk. I’m right here, just stay with me. Focus on my voice and keep your eyes open. We’re getting you to a hospital, alright?”

You moaned.

Why couldn’t you just reach out and touch him? You wanted to feel his hard body against yours just one more time, even if you weren’t sure you’d feel him properly in your dreamstate. It didn’t matter, you figured you could convince yourself of anything. If only you were enjoying the spread of his thick fluffy blonde locks beneath your fingers. Even the thought was enough to send you tingling.

“That’s right, you’re going to be ok,” König smiled, gently holding your cheek and stroking it. “You’re going to be ok and you’re going to recover. You’re going to get seen to by the doctors, and you’ll rest up and before you know it you’ll be coming home with me. Yeah? You remember our trip? You’re going to be ok. You’re going to come back to Austria with me, ok?”

Finally you were in heaven. It felt so so real. It felt safe. You inhaled deeply and relaxed back, smiling contentedly to yourself. That was everything that you’d wanted for days. You craved loving gestures like a ravenous addict, the yearning had burnt in your heart for days.

“No! Stop that, keep your eyes open!”

You hadn’t even realised you’d closed them. You blinked sleepily and drew in a deep breath, but the yellow light couldn’t compete with the cool darkness. You craved the shade of rest, wanted to nuzzle into the black.

“Darling please. If you fall asleep now you might not wake again and I don’t know what I’ll do. Please! Please stay with me! You told me you wouldn’t leave me again, Sneak, you promised! Stop this!”

You frowned. Through the last dregs of light remaining you could see his eyes streaming with tears. His chest was heaving with effort to keep himself upright. His hand was wrapped around your shoulder now, and his other had joined your other side. König was clutching onto you like a little boy lost, but you could do nothing to help him. You felt so weak. You could barely hold your lids open anymore, never mind comfort anyone.

Why couldn’t he just relax into the warmth like you? You could both lie in the darkness together, bodied fused in the nothing, just floating. You frowned.

Why was he trying to make you hold on? Didn’t he know that if you woke again you’d be back inside the cell, tied up and shivering like a beaten dog. You didn’t want to go back to that. You wanted to stay in your dream forever now. This was it, you decided.

“Nein! Bitte verlass mich nicht. Ich flehe dich an, bitte bleib!” König sobbed, his voice overtaken by sad gasping breaths. “Please…keep your eyes open. Bitte…please…stop…bitte…Nein…”

Distantly you wanted to remind him that he needed to talk to you in English, but even talking seemed like some far off concept.

You shook your head and lay back into the darkness fully, swaying into the eternal night. You wished König wasn’t so sad. You wished your last dream had been a more pleasant one…but it didn’t matter.

It was just a dream.

Don’t cry König… you’ll find me no matter where I go…

-☠️-

I got pain an' experience... an' you got heart -- kinda remind me of Marciano, ya do.

“How’re things? Any progress?”

“I’ve noticed some twitching, but the doctors keep saying I’m seeing things. They keep blaming it on lack of sleep.”

Rocky, when I was fightin' it was the dirtiest racket goin', see. Pugs like me was treated like fightin' dogs -- throw ya in the pit an' for ten bucks ya try to kill each other.

“...I know it’s difficult, but you need to rest too. You’ve been holed up in here alone with these movies on repeat for god knows how long now. It’s not good for you, mate.”

“I don’t need you to tell me what’s good for me. The doctors said familiar people and sounds will help. Rocky will help. Being here will help.”

“I know but...If-”

“Don’t you dare say ‘if’ Sneak wakes up.”

Do you feel you have a chance?

Maybe

“König, enough's enough. Get yourself downstairs, jump in that fucking taxi and go to the hotel. Don’t come back till you’ve gotten that wretched smell off you and do something about the bags under your eyes.”

“For the last time I’m not going! I saw a finger spasm. It really moved!”

“I’m sure you’ve seen pink elephants and all sorts by now, sunshine. Fuck off and go look after yourself. You’re no good to anyone like this.”

“No! I won’t do it!”

“For god’s sakes do you want to stink Sneak awake? C’mon, look at yourself. Don’t you think you’ll scare them if they wake up and see you like this?”

“I don’t care! I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care!”

Get outta my life both of ya's.

“Look, I know we don’t really get on but…I bought you a tea. Can I sit for a bit?”

“Are you going to try and make me leave too?”

“Jesus, no. Just wanted to come check in. They keep sayin’ you’re seeing movement…”

... It's cold outside, Paulie.

“I am seeing movement. Today it was a blink, I’m sure of it.”

“Well, that’s good, hm? What’re the doctors sayin’? Do they think there’ll be any change?”

“The doctors never want to reveal much.”

He's scum from the corner, I didn't raise ya to hang with no bum!

“Do you ever get tired of Rocky being on all the time? It’d drive me nuts watching the same thing over and over all day.”

“I barely notice it anymore.”

“Huh.”

“Sneak please, I’m begging you. You have to give me something…I’ve been watching you for so long now and you’ve never been so still. Just give me something so I can keep going, yeah? Anything…bitte.”

“You know I was looking out at the stars a minute ago. It reminded me of when we sat together that night and looked up at the sky together. Remember that, darling? You fixed my hair for me. I could use that again now. I almost broke my comb trying to put it through my hair yesterday. I suppose maybe I should listen to your team, hm? Garrick and MacTavish offered to sit with you for a little while tonight… Maybe you’d like to have some company with someone else for a bit. Maybe you’d be better off without me, hm?”

It don't matter if I lose... Don't matter if he opens my head...The only thing I wanna do is

go the distance -- That's all.

“I’ve tried it all and still you won’t wake up for me! What will it take Sneak? What will it fucking take! I’ve done everything and still it isn’t enough! Why am I not enough! Is it because of what I did that day? Is this my penance? Are you running away from me again? Goddamn it, I can’t take this, wake up Sneak! Just open your eyes!”

I love you -- I love you -- I love you…

“Fuckin’ hell, is this still on?”

“Ghost!”

“You know why it’s on.”

“Think I could recite it from memory by now.”

“You’re not helpin’, LT. Leave him alone.”

“Fuck me, there’s only so many times you can listen to that numbskull’s voice. Let the arsehole say Yo! Adrian and turn it off.”

“Well then, it sounds like you can’t recite it from memory then.”

“What?”

“‘Yo! Adrian’ - That’s from Rocky two. He didn’t say it in the first one, see? The movie is over now.”

“Oh, fuck me.”

“I was thinking earlier…you said before that you hated not knowing my name. You said that I shared everything with you, except that and it…it killed you not to know me completely. I don’t know why I had to be so stubborn about it now, I suppose it's just not a name I like to hear very much. Apart from my mother, it just reminds me of people I’d rather not think about…but I think if i ever heard you say it I’d like it. Do you still want to know it? What if I told you now, would you wake up?”

-☠️-

Swirling mist danced behind your lids. There was an electric current somewhere sparking in a breeze, you were floating along on it, your skin tingled and your spine burned with the fizz of it. You felt yourself twinge, felt a groan building in the back of your throat even though you couldn’t hear it. There was a vibration running down your body, it built and thrummed through you, undulating with the electricity.

You liked it. You enjoyed getting to float freely, loved the temporary bliss of your shadowy escape. There was no pain there in the darkness, just whooshes and whisps of feeling and giddy deliriousness. An endless drifting cycle that felt like it could go on for the rest of time. However implausible that would be to a sane person.

Ultimately it didn’t last forever though - eventually you felt yourself sinking.

You frowned. No. You didn’t want to sink, you didn’t want to go into the depths, you wanted to remain in the clouds. You hated the falling sensation, you hated the burning that built in your throat, hated the aches that broke out all over your back as if it were cracked glass. You especially disliked the crusty feeling behind your eyes.

You scrunched your eyelids furiously, gritting your teeth when you couldn’t relieve the sensation. With a strangled moan and no small amount of effort you cracked your eyes open. Somehow you resisted the urge to scream. Maybe you were too weak to do anything like that just yet, but your body wasn’t above holding it in, waiting to survey your surroundings first.

You blinked furiously into the light. The room you were in was disgustingly fucking bright, clinically bright. The shocking white glare flooded your vision and kept you fluttering your eyelids for a moment, continuously disturbing the layer of gunk that had built in the gloopy corners of your eyes. The world was in stark contrast to the one you’d just emerged from. What was painless and empty before was now bursting to life with sensation.

Fuck.

There were so many acidic scents and weird feelings around you. Your body felt like it was repressurising, your lungs were reacclimating to your surroundings. Through it all, you wanted to reach up and wipe your face so badly. There was no way you could muster the strength though. You didn’t have enough energy, it was all being used toward your growing awareness.

Why were you so weak? Why couldn’t you move? Where were you?

The questions clawed at your mind and had your brain scrambling until it burnt. There weren’t many memories to help you out. When you tried to think of where you were last, your head came up just as blank as the ceiling above you. That’s when you realised there was only one way you could get any answers.

You would have to move.

For some reason your instincts were telling you not to talk, not to draw attention to yourself. You weren’t sure why, but you sure as fuck weren’t going to go aginst your gut at a time like that.

You sucked in a silent breath and steeled yourself. Then you took in another. Then another. You breathed in and out and kept up a steady rhythm until you felt you’d gathered every miniscule ounce of strength you had and finally you put it all into twisting your neck around. You grunted out in pain, but kept yourself quiet, swivelling and sighing all you could until you were greeted with something other than ceiling.

A lightning shock of messy blonde hair. A black mask. A big scarred face gently slackened into a sleepy frown.

Your heart leaped in your chest. You couldn’t remember much, but one thing was for sure - you knew exactly who was sitting across from you then.

It brought a smile to your sore cracked lips. The corners twitched up and your heart jumped around in your chest like a parading cheerleader. Next thing you knew, something from somewhere next to you, something started to furiously beep. It filled your head and ricocheted through your ears, and more importantly startled the man across from you out of his slumber.

“Ah Oida! Doctor, nurse! The monitor its-”

König looked at you then and you could’ve sworn his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. The world went still.

You smiled softly at him and watched on as he stayed frozen in his tracks, looking like a perfect picture of fear and disbelief. The room felt like it’d been filled with gas, like it was seconds from ignition. He gaped at you in the heavy silence.

“Am I…Is this…Is this real?” he asked fearfully.

You smiled wider then and blinked a couple times. You couldn’t rely on your voice to work, it felt like your gullet was filled up with gravel. Talking was going to be a luxury, you could tell. It already felt like a miracle getting to lay eyes on your man again, but it wasn’t one you were taking for granted. From the few moments you’d had, you could tell you’d been out for a while.

“My love! It’s really you, you’re really awake!” König laughed.

You mustered a tiny nod from your depleted energy reserves. The second you moved you sent König running toward you.

His boots slapped down on the squeaky tiled floors, with the force he sped to you it felt like he was going to put his foot through the floor. Though you couldn’t focus too much on that, because soon enough he was on you, arms clamping around you as if he’d never let go again.

It hurt so bad to have him wrap himself so tightly round you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to complain. Strangely it was comforting to feel pain from something good. And man did it feel good. It felt like you’d been pulled from the ice, like you were warm again. Safe. You were home.

It made you all the more aware that you really were alive.

“König what the fuck are you doing? You can’t squeeze sneak awake! The doctors are saying you’re causing a commotion in here, what’s going on?”

You smiled wider than you ever thought possible and looked past König’s heaving body and toward the source of the gruff commanding voice. It was a voice for sore ears.

“I don’t need to squeeze Sneak awake, Captain,” König giggled, his entire body vibrating with his maddened laughter.

“Fuckin’ hell you’ve finally crossed the border fully into looney land,” Price growled.

“No! No, see for yourself. See!”

König detached from you, allowing you some more space to breathe again, and you took the opportunity gratefully. However you couldn’t help but wrinkle your nose when you finally caught the pungent smell that had clung to the air around you. Was that…König?

“What are you talking about? What- fucking christ alive!”

You broke out of your hazy thoughts and made eye contact with Price, almost breaking your silence with a fit of laughter when he did the same thing as König. His mouth hung open, his unusually clean shaven face looking thin and haunted from the second he realised that König hadn’t gone mad from grief. He dropped his shivering skinny arms and his whole hospital gown clad body shot up stick straight.

“Bloody hell It’s really…Sneak’s really…”

“See! I told you! I told you all!” König grinned. “I said there had been movement. I told you that Sneak would fight.”

König’s stance was victorious, his eyes were ablaze with pride. It made your chest wrench to see him so happy. Something told you that he hadn’t been doing well at all. If his greasy hair and fierce aroma were anything to go by. At least he would be able to fix that.

You weren’t so sure that you were going to be fixed anytime soon.

All of a sudden, as if awakened by your thoughts, a horrible tearing jolt worked itself through your throat and splintered down your back. It forced a pathetic squeak of pain from your lips and soon the two men were rushing to the door screaming and shouting for someone to come do something as your body heaved and trembled. The alarm and the crazed beeping from the machines only made your condition worsen, the shouting rattled your ears and rung through your head like a gong.

A nurse was by your side in minutes, shaking a little as König stood beside her, urging her to do something. You were in too much pain to pity her though. Your entire being was in atrophy. Chills and hot flashes worked their way through your skin and horrible zipping sparks jumped all around your body, directing themselves toward your tired lungs.

Though soon the trauma ended, and your pain dulled down into a light throb until eventually you felt like you were on a new plane. All the edges in the room appeared hazy and everything seemed to ebb and blur. At first it didn’t feel much better than the agony, but eventually you grew used to it, letting yourself lay back into the soft sheets and smile dopily into the skinny pillow you’d been given.

“Sneak? Sneak!”

“König,” you mouthed, floating steadily back into the darkness.

-☠️-

You’d had a few more encounters like that until you were finally able to stay awake without being shot up with drugs like a dying horse.

The pain started to get more manageable with time, and of course you were able to motivate yourself with seeing all of your loved ones again. König was always there, bar the times you had to raspily whisper shout at him to go take a bath or to go get some rest. He never would leave you alone to sleep though, opting instead to lay down on the empty hospital cot next you. He’d strong armed a young doctor into getting it into your room of course.

Price visited quite a lot too. He was in the room next to yours, thoroughly displeased that they weren’t giving him the all clear to go back to work. He groused that he was just fine and that the bloody doctors didn’t know what they were saying, going on about how he’d been a Captain long enough and he knew better than them that his body was ready to go home and heal there. You both knew it was a lie though. Price was as sick as you, even if he was mostly able to walk and talk. You could see it behind his eyes.

You knew well enough what was lurking in there, because you had the same sickness yourself. It was there when strangers came to touch you and check up on you, the doctors that were only trying to care for you. It was there when the lights went out at night. It was there lurking in the shadows. It was there every time you were forced to get a wash. You screamed bloody murder the first time you were awake for a sponge bath, almost choked up blood you were so terrified of the water. Even the sound of it sloshing at the edges of the bucket was enough to send you into a panic attack. It was a nightmare even having to drink the stuff.

König took it upon himself to look after every facet of your wellbeing after that wash. He bathed you, he fed you when you were finally able to have solid food, and he practically barked like a rottweiler at anyone that tried to touch you without letting him know what it was for. As much as you tried to tell him it was alright and that he didn’t have to do all that for you, he’d shake his head with indignance everytime and shush you with a million platitudes. He said he’d do anything for you. He would serve you until the minute you sent him away, which wasn’t very often, but it was necessary to tell him to eat or get himself a shower.

Price had confessed to you one night that he had reacted much the same as you after they’d brought him in. König had been sent away, and so your Captain sat on the foot of your bed drinking tea from a wonky paper cup, occasionally grimacing with his weird naked face as the bitter after taste sunk in. You were still getting used to seeing him without a beard, even after all you’d been through, that was still completely out of the ordinary.

“It’s the only reason I drink this utter shit,” he’d remarked, drawing the tea close to his lap. “I’d rather have something with a taste to it. Something with a bit of colour.”

“Glad to know its not just me,” you’d said bitterly.

Your voice was still raspy when you spoke, the doctors told you it would take a while to heal, you just had to keep your voice to a whisper for a while. Apparently your throat had suffered so much trauma that you were lucky you were getting to speak at all after what you’d been through. Not that you felt particularly lucky.

“You know…when we go back we’ll have to get tested…medical tests, psych evals.”

Your lips parted and you sucked in a low breath. In the back of your mind you hadn’t forgotten that Price was going to waive your little misstep with König. You were technically allowed to go back. That aside though, would you really be capable? Could you pass a psych eval? You screamed bloody murder most nights because of the awful nightmares you were having. Your body was frail and your scars were deep. Not all of them would heal.

“You’d let me back?” you asked slowly.

“Well, if you managed to pass - of course,” Price shrugged. “I was serious when I said that the whole mess with König didn’t matter, I think we’ve been through enough together that none of that means anything anymore. The most important factor is, do you want to go back?”

You caught eyes with him then, locked into his hard stare. His blue eyes were shining dully in the dim yellow night light. You could see the hollows in his cheeks more prominently now, the shadows were digging their palms into his face. He was right - you had been through a lot together.

You weren’t so sure about your abilities anymore, if you would have the nerve to get out on the field again. A dark part of you also wondered about the alternative, what if you’d enjoy it too much? What if you’d want to take your vengeance out on those who hadn’t even done anything to you?

Even through the haze of your memories of being rescued, you could still remember the way you stared at Rousseau's crushed up body and the feeling of your smile still haunted you.

Of all the things that that man had done to you, the most horrific of all was the taking of some small part of your humanity. It brought a shiver to your core each time you thought of his head being smashed against the wall, and how you couldn’t even imagine telling König to stop even if you’d had the ability at the time.

It was something you desperately tried not to dwell on, lest your chest cave in from the pressure.

Both you and Price wordlessly let the uncomfortable silence linger. Soon enough he cast his gaze away and flickered his attention over to the TV. It was playing a crappy sitcom that neither of you had seen before, nevertheless you were both as captivated with it as if it were your favourite. Neither of you brought up coming back again that night. It made for too many questions that you didn’t have the answer to yet.

It was easier to pretend that everything was going to be fine. Your head felt clearer when you plastered on a smile and acted like everything was normal. That was the tactic when Ghost, Gaz and Soap finally came to visit and it worked well then.

They’d all flooded into the room with faces like slapped arses. Gaz and Soap were fighting each other to apologise to you first while Ghost stood solemnly by your side giving you one of the sorriest looks you’d ever seen from those hard blue eyes of his. You weren’t going to have any of it though. They didn’t deserve to drown in their guilt because of a series of reckless choices that you’d made.

“All of you have got to stop apologising. You already did enough getting us out of there, there’s nothing more to be said about it,” you rasped, quickly looking over to the jug of water placed strategically away from you.

Ghost gave Soap and gaz a withering look, before he turned and fetched a small glass, filling it only a third of the way before steadily handing it to you. It barely shifted in his careful hands - it made you realise that someone must’ve filled him in. The realisation had your heart stuttering, it had revealed a crack in your normal facade.

Despite that though, you gave him a small nod and gently tipped the water back, greedily letting the water soothe your burning throat. Drinking it never completely relieved you of course. Your throat remained scratchy no matter what you had, it would still take some time before you fully recovered.

“We played our part in your capture, Sneak. There’s no denying it,” Ghost said. “Me more than anyone else. I put you in danger and I can’t let you dismiss that. I let my feelings get in the way of the mission, and ultimately that was the whole reason Price had set the rules he did with you in the first place. I’m truly sorry for what happened, and there isn’t anything that’ll make my part in what happened alright.”

“Aye, we all did, we all put you in danger. It was a fuckin’ big shock, Sneak. It didn’t feel good knowing you might’ve been leaving the team for someone we thought was…well it doesn’t matter what we thought. Point is we acted out of line and we do have to apologise,” Soap said seriously, placing his hand by yours on the bed. “Im sorry too.”

“It wasn’t our place to punish you,” Gaz said firmly, “We acted like fucking children and it almost cost your life. I can’t say sorry enough.”

“You were barely even with me on that mission!”

“Well I didn’t exactly stick up for you when I got the chance, did I?”

You started to roll your eyes, but the look that Gaz gave you was enough to stop them before they peaked at the skyline. You closed them instead for a second and then pursed your lips, taking a moment to consider their words.

Everything in you wanted to tell them all to shut up about it so that you wouldn’t have to think too much about that awful day, but you knew well enough that you couldn’t ask everyone to put it behind them just so that you could deny it. What happened happened. You had to face it. If not just for yourself, then for the men that had risked their lives coming to get you and Price back. For your brothers.

Though you didn’t have to unravel right at that exact moment, you decided. That could wait for a time that you could at least fetch your own water for yourself, or when you could take a shower without König standing outside of it.

“Well, seeing as we’re talking apologies…” you sighed, opening your eyes again and looking at each of them with serious measure. “Let’s get into reparations. What’d you all get me?”

“Get you?” Gaz repeated.

“Yeah, where are my ‘sorry you almost died, woops!’ balloons?”

“Oh, away n’ bile yer heid!” Soap groused.

“You didn’t even get a little bear with hand marks round it’s neck?” you grinned.

“Well we found one, but it had big red handprints on its arse as well, and that just didn’t seem appropriate,” Ghost remarked.

“Jesus, LT!” Soap snapped.

“Yeah, König might take it as us flirtin’ and snap our arms off,” Gaz sniggered.

“Oh for…” Soap groaned, and put his hands over his eyes.

You laughed properly for the first time in a long time, and most joyously of all you didn’t fly into a coughing fit straight after. It flowed freely from you like notes from a tuba, still not quite your usual timbre but fuck it, it was music. Your body lightened and your head cleared, it was like an oppressive fog was beginning to lift.

Even if you weren’t coughing by the end of it, your throat still dried up again though you didn’t need to worry. Ghost got you another glass of water and handed it to you with a softened expression.

You took the glass from him once more and sunk into a familiar rhythm with the guys again, transporting yourself away from the four stark white walls of the hospital room and away on their adventures. They filled you in on what was happening back at base, told you about their latest antics with the recruits and by the end of it you were so delirious from happiness, the nurse had to shoo them out so that you could rest.

König came in shortly after them, freshly washed and fed, and he lay down in his cot across the room. His footsteps had woken you, even when he hadn’t meant to, you were still so hypersensitive to movement. Even in the darkness you could make out his mountainous shape as it rose and curved from the bed and it brought a little smile curving onto your lips. Your protector was never far.

You sleepily invited him over and gladly he came speed walking to your bed. His messy was flopping in his excitement and the site of him reminded you so much of a cartoon you couldn't help but laugh a little.

The trilling sound of it had him smiling, and soon after he poured you a cup of water and let you drink before fastening his arms around you and cuddling into your back. Your personal stove was on full heat. He was assuming his faithful position by your side.

You sighed and relaxed into him, wiggling to get yourself right before frowning when you felt something sharp poking into your leg. What was that? You drew your hand back and stopped at König’s pocket, tilting your head when you slid your hand in and found the source.

“Oh, Scheiße,” König huffed.

“What?”

König’s body went stiff as a board and you could practically feel the air harden around you. You were confused as to why he was there until you brought your hand to your face and discovered the cause.

It was the wooden bird from the market. You tilted it gently and inspected it, quickly realising what the cause of his sorry state was. It’s little wing had been broken and glued back on, a permanent scar had been left on its frail body. Something that was all too familiar.

“It’s just like me,” you joked.

“What?” König somehow managed to get stiffer.

You turned around and faced him, gasping when you realised how upset he was. His entire expression soured, his eyebrows knitting into a deep frown. His shoulders sagged with grief and from behind his bandana you swore you could see his lips trembling, could sense his breath puffing out raggedly from behind the material. The pain on his face struck through your skull like a mallet.

Shit.

“You know…It’s got a little damage, but its ok. You put it back together,” you shrugged, trying fruitlessly to keep your tone light and even.

“It was only broken because of me,” König whimpered. “And I haven’t even properly fixed it.”

His eyes glazed over, spacing out into whatever terrible thoughts had been tugging at his subconscious. You’d felt your heart break then, cracking down the middle at the thought of him blaming himself. It was bad enough when the 141 were filling up the room with their apologies, but it was a whole other thing to see König folding under the pressure of his guilt. The boys had each other, but he didn’t have anyone other than you.

“Hey,” you said gently, voice still a little rough. “Listen to me. C’mon look at me. König I need you to know that it’s not your fault, what happened wasn’t because of you…I don’t even know why you’d think it’s your fault, but ultimately it comes down to me. My stupid actions. You tried to do your best by me that day and I fought you because I was scared. I couldn’t stop worrying about all the damage I’d done and in the end I only made it all worse. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Are you sure about that?” he asked, frowning as he searched your face.

“Of course I’m sure. That day I got captured was a shit show, König. After you did everything you possibly could to make sure I got back safe and sound again, and… well I don’t even know if I can even count on myself not having more dreams or hallucinations, but I’m sure I heard you everyday that you were by my bedside. I could feel you when I was asleep. You were there with me even when I was getting moved around all those prisons. You’ve been my anchor König, you’ve been the one that’s kept me here fighting. You’re my reason to go on, so don’t you lie there blaming yourself for what’s happened.”

“How can I not?” König sighed. “It’s my fault things got so complicated between us in the first place. I was the reason that Price banned you from having a relationship with me, It was my fault for being so bloodthirsty. Fuck, I could barely even stop myself from killing Rousseau, I thought- I thought that, well I worried that you would’ve spent your last moments horrified with me for what I’d done to him that day.”

“Oh fuck no, don’t be stupid!” you snapped.

König’s brows shot up and his eyes grew big as saucers. You swore you could see your hardset gaze reflected clearly in the blue of them, burning holes through that layer of guilt he’d shrouded himself in. How dare he think that he was your ruin when he was the one that saved you?

“Don’t you dare put all the blame on yourself, König. You can’t think like that. I have just as much freedom over my actions as you do, it was equally my fault for getting Price on my back, and it was down to my actions that day that got me captured. As for Rousseau, well, I would’ve splattered him on the concrete myself if I had the energy.”

“Sneak!”

“It’s true,” you spat. “I know I shouldn’t think like that, but it’s true. I know I’m normally the one that tries to do right, but do you know what? After all the wrong I’ve done, I’m not going to sit here and pretend I’m not capable of the same things as you. We both have violent jobs, and we both carry horrible truths that haunt us. Don’t turn me into one of your ghosts König, don’t let the guilt fester and eat you up. I love you and I’d do anything to make sure you were safe, and I know that you’d do the same for me. You brought me back from the brink and now because of it we can lay here together and we can make a future for ourselves. We can go to Austria and we can decide to do whatever we want with the time that we have König. That’s all that matters. Don’t shrink from the past and get upset at the scars left behind. We have to learn to accept it.”

You thrust the bird toward him and he took it, scooping it into his hands ever so delicately. It was as if you’d handed him your heart. His breaths were soft and his eyes were filled with tears.

There was a single beat where you worried he might try to walk away, but instead he gently placed the bird down on your over-bed table, wood hitting wood producing a soft whispery sound in the near silent room, and then he wrapped his arms around you again. He held you tight and kept you melded to him, fusing you with his shaking body.

He cried soundlessly and let his body shake most of it out, all of the terror and the pain and the stress he’d been holding onto was slowly being released through you. His tears ran thick and hot and collected at his mask, reddening his cheeks at the edges of it. You slid it down for him eventually and cleared away the salty tracts, dabbing at his cheeks with the corner of your crisp white bed sheets.

“You have no idea…I…I feel so selfish saying this, but you don’t know how lonely I’ve felt this past month. I’ve just felt like I’ve had all of this pain trapped inside and every time I’ve seen you suffer since waking up I just- I’ve felt like shit for thinking that I deserve an ounce of comfort when you’re the one that’s been through the worst.”

“Don’t think like that König, please. You always have me to turn to, you’re not being selfish for feeling hurt in all this. You got burnt too and it’s not fair you going it alone ok? You can talk to me, König. You can always talk to me. I love you, I love you so much, and I don’t want you bottling everything up just to protect me. I’m not broken, you don’t have to turn me into your next mission. I’m healing, and I think- I think we both need to heal. Y’know?”

König took a stuttering breath and nodded, his lips curling downward in a unique kind of sadness you’d never seen on him before. Now that his hair was flopping over his forehead and his half mask was wound down and dishevelled on his neck, he looked so young. His face was shadowed with his innocence, it shone out across his eyes.

You pressed your palms into his cheeks and smoothed your thumbs over the irritated salty skin, pressing kisses where you could to ease the pain. His face was scratchy from the thick stubble there, but you didn’t care. It was more important that you soothe the burning ache inside König. You had to show him that you could be there for him too, even if you were still physically weak.

He was your reason to remain strong. He was the reason you were taking steps every day to try and get better. He really was your anchor. Your König.

“Somehow we’ll make it through this…” you whispered, finally giving his swollen lips a much needed kiss.

He closed his eyes and leaned into it. The pressure in the atmosphere seemed to lighten, your lips crushed together like petals and you bathed in the calm that overflowed in you. It finally felt like things really would be ok. You were together now and you didn’t need to constantly think about your next steps, you just had to be. That was all that mattered for then.

Your kiss ended a little while after, your breath not quite back to normal yet. Your chest panted with the lack of air, but soon you settled again and smiled. König matched your smile and his dazzling blue eyes gleamed like jewels in the low light. He rested against the pillow and stared at you in awe, as if he was finally seeing someone he hadn’t gotten to be with in a very long time.

“Do you really think you heard me when you were…asleep?” he asked, tentatively breaking the silence as if it were fragile glass.

He could never bring himself to say ‘in a coma’.

“I dunno,” you sighed. “I think I dreamed a lot, but I can’t really remember. I swear I really could hear Rocky sometimes, but then Price was very eager to make a point of saying how insane you’d driven everyone with it so…who knows,” you laughed. “He’s a vivid storyteller I guess.”

König chuckled a little and shook his head. Looking a little guilty as he thought about the amount that movie had been on. He’d already confessed to you it’d be a long time before he’d ever be able to watch it again.

“You don’t remember me speaking to you though? Don’t remember the things I’d told you?”

You tilted your head at him, the movement rustling the stark sheets beneath you.

“I feel like I can remember you saying you loved me and you wanted me to open my eyes, but I can’t really remember anything specific. Nothing I couldn’t have just as well have dreamt,” you shrugged. “Why?”

“I…well I thought…ugh, it’s ridiculous. Nevermind,” he sighed, looking toward the wall and away from your questioning gaze.

“Aw, c’mon König! What is it? You can tell me,” you pressed, running your hand through a section of his fluffy hair.

He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. His face washed with relief, his body relaxed. He let go of his anxieties.

“Well…I told you my name a little closer to the end of your sleep. I thought that maybe you might’ve remembered it if you were coming to awareness.”

You froze, stopping your calming gestures in your tracks as soon as you realised what you’d missed out on.

“You what! You told me your name and now you’re just casually throwing that out there?”

“Well I was desperate, Sneak. I thought maybe it’d motivate you to wake up, I dunno. I said it was ridiculous,” he huffed, opening his eyes back up again.

“Well, do I get to know it now?” you demanded, rolling over him so that he was caged between your arms.

He widened his eyes, and even in the darkness you could make out the rosy tint that had broken out across his cheeks. He breathed a little quicker.

“Aw, c’mon!” you begged, giving him your widest doe eyes you could muster. “Please.”

He sighed and bit his lip, trying to avoid your stare, but it didn’t work. He could feel the heat of your eyes on him and so he gave up. He puffed out a defeated breath and he smiled a queasy smile. He was about to speak, but instead found himself opening his mouth and closing it again, sealing his lips shut tightly.

“Are you really still scared to share it with me?” you asked, softening your harsh stare at him.

He opened and closed his mouth again and finally he shook his head at himself.

“I’m not scared, no. It just feels…I’m not sure. I don’t really like to say it. I Will tell you though. I don’t ever want anything to happen again and live knowing that I didn’t hear you say it. I’m sure I’ll love to hear you say it.”

“Well you could always write it down…I can’t promise I’ll pronounce it right if its got some weird Austrian spelling, but I can-”

“No, no,” he chuckled, taking one of your hands in his and stopping you before you could go off on a tirade. “I won’t need to write it down. I’ll tell you.”

“Ok, well…when you’re ready.”

He breathed out and traced your fingers with his thumb. The massive digit stroked featherlight touches into your skin and you smiled at the fizzing sensation of it. His breath was warm on your neck, his chest was beating erratically from beneath you. It prompted you to climb down off him, keeping a grip of his hand all the same, but instead you took to lying next to him again.

He smiled lazily as you settled by his side and he closed his eyes. You felt yourself strain as you listened to the buzzing quiet in the room, waiting to hear his name after all that time.

“Matthias,” he whispered.

You instantly grinned, the single word lighting you up like a beacon. Your chest felt like it could burst.

“Do I get a second name, Matthias?” you asked, pressing closer so you could kiss his cheek.

He shivered next to you, his entire body buzzing. The static zipped right through the bed. He gave you a look he’d never given you before, the joy indescribable.

“Luger,” he said gently.

You bit your lip, not quite believing that you finally heard it.

“Not König then?”

“No, not König,” he murmured. “König was my mother’s maiden name. I started using it when I left the army. No ones called me by my real name in a long time”

“Huh… Matthias Luger,” you said in a whisper, feeling conspiratorial. “It suits you.”

“It suits me when you call me it,” he smiled, cuddling himself into the bed.

“Should I call you Matthias when we’re alone now?” you pondered, letting your thoughts escape out loud.

He breathed out a laugh and pulled you close to him, forcing you to sink into the bed with him. It didn’t require too much coercion however. You were more than happy to lie there with him.

“You can call me whatever you like as long as you stay with me, darling,” he whispered. “Don’t ever run off like that again, you promise?”

You sighed and cuddled closer into his body, gradually letting yourself fade into the night with him.

“I promise…Matthias,” you whispered, not helping yourself from saying it just one last time.

-☠️-

The darkness kept a hold of you both for some time after that, after all was said and done. However during the course of your lying in bed together, it released its hold on you soon enough, and before you knew it the sun was raising its bright arms into the sky and beginning to wave good morning. You could see it out in the hallway, gently tickling at the floors and beginning to shift its eyes onto your room. You were dozing on and off, but now that you’d seen the light you were fully awake, flickering your lashes at the golden rays as they bounced off the blue linoleum.

“Morning.”

König yawned next to you, stretching himself out and uncurling his arms. His back cracked like a firework seconds later, and he wrapped himself around you again, snuggling into the back of your T-shirt (one of his that he’d supplied you with). You rolled your eyes and smiled, feeling your heartbeat pitter patter.

“You sure it’s morning for you?” You asked breathily.

“Mm, I’ll be awake properly in a few minutes,” he grunted. “This just feels nice.”

“Aw, so cute when you’re sleepy,” you cooed, rolling around so that you could see his shuttered lashes.

He moaned his disapproval at being called cute, but he didn’t say much. He was verging far too much on the side of sleep rather than waking and you knew it would take far more to prod the bear back to life.

You grinned slyly to yourself and bit your lip. Something of your old sense of mischief was returning to you.

“You’re just so sweet you’re all tired like that,” you continued.

He grunted again.

“My little Schnucki cuddle bear…my lil matty watty-”

At that, König wrenched his eyes open and shot you a warning look. It was written all over his face that he had no idea how to take his revenge with you still in your weakened state, but you knew well enough he’d think of something. You took to giggling at his frowning face and lay yourself back against the pillow, innocently staring up at him as plotted away.

“You know if you’re going to call me disgustingly cutesy names, I will have to leave.”

“You would never,” you snorted, “I have to shoo you away just to get a shower most of the time.”

“Well, maybe I’m in a showering mood this morning,” he said, smiling viciously at you.

His eyes were pointed at you like arrows. He pulled up his mask and sat up without breaking eye contact, then he tilted his head at you. A particularly smarmy look crossed his face. He’s clearly thought of a good way to get his revenge.

“Yes, I think maybe I’ll head out for a little bit,” he shrugged.

“Fine,” you said, playing along with his little game. “I’m sure the nurses will be around with food soon. Price will be up and about too.”

“Mm, that will be good for you,” he said with a nod. “I think what might be good for me is getting myself a lovely breakfast. I’ll forgo the hospital canteen though, that stuff's rubbish. I think instead there's a lovely Italian deli that’ll be opening soon. One that I think you’ve heard of. It does lovely breakfast food!”

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“And you’d bring something back from the deli then?”

“Why would I do that?”

You shoved at him playfully, too weak and tired to make much impact, but nonetheless enough to send him laughing back onto the bed. The booming sound had you giggling immediately, and even while all the excitement was hurting your throat you didn’t care. He pulled you into him and cuddled you close, forcing you back to the bed, though he didn’t actually have to use much strength.

He held you like that until Price sleepily stumbled in with his morning tea round and cleared his throat, forcing you both to part. Even if he did say he was fine with König, it was evident he wasn’t in love with watching you exchange affections. Even standing next to König seemed like an issue some days.

König left then, making his usual excuses, promising to come back with something from the deli after all, and allowed Price to pull up a chair alone.

He was a lot more mobile now that he’d mostly healed, he still stood a little funny under the weight of his crushed back, but according to the physio (and maybe Price overexaggerating his diagnosis) he would be fine again in a few weeks. Judging by the way he grunted when his back connected with the hard leather, you knew you were onto something assuming Price was being unusually optimistic.

“Making noises like that, you’ll be a sure candidate for desk duty, old man.”

Price shot you a glare and you bit your lip. He wasn’t going to abide by your cheek.

“I can still send you to the latrines, Sneaky,” Price answered, slamming your flimsy takeaway tea down with a little too much force.

“Oh yeah? I can imagine that’ll be a cushy job if I only have to clean your office.”

“Fuck sake,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes.

You couldn’t help yourself. Now that you’d been through all that trauma together, you found yourself braving interactions with him that you never would’ve before. After seeing him bollock naked and covered in his own detritus, the sheen of his title had faded some. You were able to be braver.

You and he both knew that nothing he could threaten you with would be worse than what you’d already faced. It was that universally realised truth that meant you knew the bitter glare that he was directing you from behind his takeaway cup didn’t hold any real malice.

“Seriously though…Gaz told me you were thinking of going back in a couple weeks. Is that true?”

Price stopped mid sip and regarded you awkwardly. His eyes slanted downward to the floor and his palm rested on his sweats in defeat. It was still so odd seeing Price in pyjamas, almost weirder than seeing him naked. It made him look all the more uncomfortable in front of you.

“Well, just on paperwork to start. I’m not bloody likely to pass a medical and I’ve got a series of psych evals and debriefs to get through, so yeah, I figure I may as well get ahead of it all.”

“You’ve got to tell them about what happened? Do I? Will they ask me to come in?” you asked, breath hitching with fear. “Will they come here?”

“No, no, don’t worry. I’ve told them you’ll not be in until your health improves. Far as they’re concerned you’re barely talking right now,” he soothed.

Your heartbeat wound down from its highly strung little dance. You breathed out a sigh of relief and picked up your cup of tea, breathing in the warm berry steam that wafted through the little opening in the top before you took a relieved sip.

“Thanks…I don’t think I could face anything like that right now.”

“I barely can myself,” he muttered. “All those men giving me sorry looks like I’m a whipped dog. It’ll be hell. Still though, it’d be worse if I didn’t get to operate again. Needs must.”

You nodded, looking far beyond the pale white sheets that your head was directed towards. You didn’t have the same worries. You feared more than pitying looks, it was deeper than that for you. The real hell was having to relive what you’d gone through multiple times while blank faced suits noted down what had happened. The very idea made you want to bring up what little was in your stomach.

“Have you given much more thought to coming back?” Price asked.

You looked up at him and met his appraising look. His mouth quirked and his body tensed, he knew as well as you the answer was obvious. Obvious but complicated.

“Honest answer? I’ve thought about it alot. At the end of the day I don’t even know if I’ll heal completely right yet. The fractures I’ve got are still bad and the physios keep looking at me like a tripped horse. I still can’t wash without König there. There’s a lot going on…”

“They’ll put you behind a desk if you tell them all that.”

“Maybe it’s the best place for me…I dunno. I’m not really sure of much right now, but I do know one thing - I’m not going to hide things anymore. I can’t hide my feelings just to try and get the work done, I’m not going to put people at risk because of the shit I’ve got bottled up. I’m never going to repeat the mistakes I made on that mission, Price. I’ve got too much to lose to ever do anything like that again.”

Price sighed and nodded, looking off into his own middle distance. It gave a sort of sagely quality, his crinkling eyes working against his younger years.

“I’ve asked and I can buy you three months,” he said suddenly, “You can take that time to heal and to think about things, see a shrink, do whatever you need to do. Come back to me then and give me an answer.”

“Three months?” you repeated. “To answer what? I don’t even know if I’ll be fully recovered.”

“You don’t need to be fully recovered…physically. You can be trained back to what you were, that’s not the issue. I just need to know if you can still do the job, and if you still want to do it. Take the time, think about things properly, hell go on that fuckin’ trip König wouldn’t shut up about and clear your head. After that, just come to me with an answer and even if it’s a no, I at least know that you got to think about your decision properly. I can make peace with it then.”

“You’re not keen on me saying no then?” you smiled, catching onto what he was doing.

“I can see you leaning towards it and I’d rather you didn’t while you’re practically chained to the bed in a dour place like this. You’re a good soldier. You can recover from this and you can come back, if you want to. Get out of here as soon as you’re able and go away with König. Believe me when I tell you that I don’t doubt your ability for a second. You’ll get over the water stuff, you’ll overcome the shadows. If I can, then you can too. I don’t want to lose you, Sneak. So please, just promise me you’ll think about it, yeah?”

You sighed and gave him a nod, rubbing your thumb against the hot cardboard that barley kept your tea contained. It was almost blistering your skin, but the burning was a pleasant distraction from otherwise unpleasant thoughts.

Price got up from his chair and put his hand on your shoulder, making sure that you acknowledged his meaningful look. His soft blue eyes cast a beam of light onto you, the wrinkles at the corner scrunching as he gave you a reassuring squeeze. His touch lingered long after he was gone, leaving you with just enough comfort to last until König returned.

König did surreptitiously wander in minutes later, looking around warily before revealing his smuggled goods. He’d had to hide them in his hoodie like a pregnant lady, and just the sight of his overstuffed belly had you almost completely forgetting about what Price had discussed with you. You were happy to focus on better things. Afterall, you reasoned to yourself, it was Price that had told you to clear your head in the first place.

“Ok, I couldn’t bring you Soup because I wasn’t willing to burn myself for you, but I did pick up your favourite panini and I got you a cake that might be a little squashed. Does the royal highness approve?”

You approved indeed. Anything was better than hospital food, but furthermore the deli food was better than anything. Immediately you grabbed for the panini and took a big grateful bite, barely just thanking König before you did so. It was just so good. Your eyelids shut tight as soon as you got your first taste of crusty bread and homemade melty butter.

This was paradise.

“Do I say enough how much I love you?” you murmured.

“Not at all,” König smirked, looking around the doorway for unwanted eyes before taking his own bite of panini from out of his mask. “It should be every word that leaves your mouth from now on.”

You snorted back a laugh and finished your bite.

“I could do that, but your poor mother might think I'm a bit weird if I can only tell her how much I love you.”

König stopped eating and peered over at you, clearly forgetting all about his contraband treat. He regarded you seriously for a moment and pulled his chair closer, attention now completely focused on you.

“You still want to go to Austria?”

“Well, the flights will need rebooked I imagine, but once I’m better? Of course!”

“But…didn’t you say you might need to report in soon?”

“Well, I spoke to Price about it all there and I told him the same thing I’ve said to you. I don’t know if I’ll go back fully. He didn’t want to accept that right away though, so he said he can give me three months. I figure I can be outta here a lot sooner than that. So what do you say? Still wanna show me home?”

König threw his panini down onto the table and pushed it roughly to the side, immediately taking his chance to wrap around you like a koala. He smiled brightly and he exhaled, his long thick arms not easing up as he constricted around you.

“Do I say enough how much I love you?” König asked wryly.

“Mm, I could stand to hear it a little more,” you sighed.

He laughed lightly at that, you could feel it echoing around his chest. His warm puffs of breath landed hotly onto your neck. It had your eyelids fluttering closed, your own sandwich discarded somewhere next to König’s. You wrapped your arms around him in kind and revelled in the feeling of holding your universe close into your chest, letting everything else float away as you settled into the cloudy abyss once more.

Even if you were unsure of where your future was going exactly, there was always going to be one constant. No matter what you faced, no matter what you decided, you would always have each other now. It didn’t matter that Price would come looking for your answer, it didn’t matter if the guys would be upset to hear you say no, it didn’t matter if you were nail bitingly eager and terrified in equal measure to say yes to Price.

König would be with you through it all, he could lend you his strength and you could give him your love and vice versa. You were your own team. Together you’d make contenders for anything. He was your rock and you were his light. You were going to be fighters until the end.

#König #König x reader #konig x reader #konig #könig fanfiction #modern warfare 2 #modern warfare fanfiction #mw2 #a rocky start

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tvgals · 1 year

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‘ IM GON BE THAT BITCH TODAY AND STILL GON BE THAT BITCH TMRW, BITCH. ‘

drugstore owner! tanaka x black! fem! reader <3

cw- black fem reader, tanaka is infatuated with you ! also the smuttiest of smut

as the girlfriend of a drugstore owner, you’d think you would get stuff for free right? wrong ! tanaka is very stingy, even when it comes to his pretty girl.

“but babyyyyy,” you whine, caressing tanaka’s chest in persuasion, “just one bottle of patron won’t hurt nobody! pleaseee!” your acrylics slowly raising up to his shaved head. “nope. sorry, mamas. payin’ customers only.” he rejects, pulling you closer to him by your waist. “ryuuuuu’ baby please! i jus’ wanna have fun with my friends tonight! i swear i’ll pay you back anyway i can!” you say, eyes practically shattering the plastics that make up the lenses in your square eyeglasses

“mmmm…anyway, yeah?” he asks, cocking a brow. “anyway!” you promise, kissing his cheek. “alright. go take a bottle. have fun mama.” he tells you, kissing your forehead. “thank you baby!” and with that, you run into the aisle that withheld all of the alcohol, and you take a bottle of patron, waving one last goodbye to your boyfriend behind the counter and you walk out.

you make it to your car, trying to pick up your pace due to the cold eating at your arms and legs. you make it to your car and plug the keys into the engine, shuddering due to the cold. you look to your right and see tanaka’s hoodie. you shrug and put it on, the fleece that was sewn into the hoodie helping your body temperature. once you were fully settled into your car, you call your friend and put her on speaker phone.

“heyyyy! you on yo’ way?”

“yeah, i’m just now leavin’ though. i’ll be there in like 10 minutes.”

“you got the patron?”

“duh. ryu gave it to me for free.” you brag.

“girl i wish my man got me stuff for free. aight i’ll see you later.”

“bye.”

and with that, you hung up the phone. down the street and around two corners from tanaka’s store. you hear a ding on your phone. you pick it up and pause the music previously playing on your aux, due to the fact tanaka sent a video.

< 61 bald bitch 🫶🏾

you should see what ur missin out on mama

*1 attachment*

you click it, already guessing what it was. the stereo that was previously playing city girls was taken over by the sounds of the pre-cum that was slathered over tanaka’s tip and the sounds he made due to it.

‘miss ya so much mama..’

‘can’t wait for ya to come back..need ya so bad..’

you practically type at what can be only classified as lightning speed,

god dammit ryunosuke. give me five minutes.

and with that, you swerve your car back around and hit those two corners once again and race down the street. parking sloppily once you get there. just from the lobby of the store, you can hear your boyfriends heavy breathing and his light whimpers. “dammit dammit..” he whines, throwing his head back. you march to the work room and see tanaka in the midst of his ecstasy. “you’re such a fuckin’ asshole.” you murmur, a snarl on your face. “yeah huh…enough of a….shit…enough of an asshole to come back?” he chuckles.

i’ll come back in like two hours when i get more motivation to finish this i apologize

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jasmines-library · 6 months

Text

Needle and thread.

WHUMPTOBER DAY 19. Prompt: “no anaesthesia.” Fandom: Batfamily

Summary: Dick is forced to carry out a life-saving emergency surgery when you are too far away to reach help before it becomes too late.

Warnings: Impalement, blood, gore, stitching, needles.

Word count: 1k (short but sour, I had to do this quickly sorry.)

MASTERLIST ⛤ WHUMPTOBER WORKS

🕸 ⋆ ⁶𖤐⁶ ࣪⋆🕸

Dick Grayson would never forget your blood curdling scream the moment the rebar punctured your stomach, ripping up skin and muscle as it forced its way through your back.

You had been flung sideways by the villain you had been fighting. The force of his throw has caused you to topple over the side of the scaffolding and sent you plummeting to the ground. Unluckily for you, you happened to land on the scrap metal.

He cried out, cursing as he fought to get to you. It was only supposed to be a simple patrol, but he was outnumbered. Dick fought hard, landing kick after kick and blow after blow with his sticks to reach you. When he landed heavily on his feet beside you, he could already see the puddle of blood below you. It gushed freely from your body. Raw and red and beautiful.

Your mouth was agape, panting against the pain. Your eyebrows upturned behind your mask as your face contorted in agony.

For a moment, he couldn’t move. He was stuck still staring at the blood stained steel. Your muscles clenched around it as you writhed.

“Y/n.” He dropped to his knees beside you when reality hit him like a ton of bricks. “Fuck.”

“Dick…”

His hands hovered over your body; he was too afraid to touch you as if touching you was going to break your fragile body more. He was wide eyed, mind running at a thousand miles a minute. He knew he needed to move you, but the rusty metal bar was the only thing preventing you from bleeding out completely. He had hit the emergency signal on his suit, and he knew help was on the way, but he had no way to gauge how long it would be before they arrived.

“Okay…” he breathed out unsteadily. His hands trembled as they moved around your body, coaxed in your blood. “I have to move you.”

Nodding, you clenched your eyes shut and gritted your teeth. Dick wrapped his hands around yours to haul you off of the bar. You howled, muscles twitching as it was ripped through you again. Your vision blurred as he lay you back down on the ground, applying pressure hard to the wound.

“Come on, Y/n. Just stay with me a little longer. Help is coming.”

“Dick…” you forced out through wet coughs. “You have to do it.”

He shook his head frantically. He hated doing it. It was something that was only supposed to be a last resort. “No. No, I can't do that to you.”

He turned his head, desperate to spot the red and green suits heading his direction, but all he could see for miles were the lights of the city.

“Robin, where are you?” He asked into the coms.

There was a crackle before he replied. “I‘m going as fast as I can, but I’m about 10 minutes out.”

He cursed. You were too far out for him to reach the bat cave and Damian was still too far away. 10 minutes and you would have lost too much blood.

“Do it.” Yo pleased. “Dick. Please.”

He took a deep breath and turned his head away, before pulling out the needle and thread that was kept in the small Medkit you carried in your suit for emergencies. Dick struggled to thread the needle with the way his fingers shook. But after finally sterilising and threading the small tool, he positioned it above the wound. It was still bleeding heavily.

“I’m so sorry.” He muttered as he made the first stitch.

You bucked forwards, contorting at the stabbing against your skin. He tried to be quick, but that did nothing to stop you feeling every stitch as the thread tugged against your skin to close the rift. You had almost blacked out by the time he had rolled you over to stitch up the entry wound. Every second was nothing but torment that seemed to replace the blood you lost.

By the time he had pulled the last stitch closed, you were a whimpering mess. Your face was stained with tears and your hair was a mess. Your whole body felt like one giant bruise; everything ached and your joints felt like a hinge that needed to be oiled.

Dick had tried his hardest to keep you awake, whispering sweet apologies into your hair as he rocked you back and forth in his arms, though you weren’t 100% sure who he was trying to make feel better; you or himself.

Your body had slowly begun to go numb after a while as you waited anstily for Damian to arrive. A chill had begun to set into your bones. By the time he had finally arrived, the pain and your senses had dulled into almost nothing at all.

🕸 ⋆ ⁶𖤐⁶ ࣪⋆🕸

<- DAY 18 ⛤ DAY 20 ->

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@senjoritanana

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obsessedfics · 9 months

Text

Remade Gojo x Reader (Mature/Explicit)

Gojo Satoru Fanfic

Rating: Mature (Explicit Sexual Scenes)

Word Count: 12k+

Summary: It has been 10 years since you left behind the world of being a sorcerer. You experienced too much hurt to ever want to step back foot in that world, even if it meant never getting to give your heart closure. You worked behind the shadows, executing curses to alleviate pressure on the students who attend Jujutsu High. One day on your way back from your mission, you meet an unexpected guest...

I wrote this because this man has been living rent-free in my head for the past couple of weeks and it needed to be done. I simply can't just write smut, I need substance. So here is my dirty little fic for ya'll. I hope you enjoy it!

Note: I posted this on Ao3. This is all my writing I promise, just posting of different platforms for more people to enjoy.

Faster… I have to run faster.

You ‘stumbled’ on a nest of cursed spirits. You were now running at a deadly pace to lure them into your trap – hundreds of cursed tools poised and ready to kill every last spirit.

Sweat ran down the length of your spine as you finally rounded the corner of the alley, immediately skidding on the concrete, using your cursed technique to shoot the weapons forward, meeting their destined targets.

Shrieks rang out through the alley from the dying spirits, blood staining the stones beneath their bodies.

Without looking back, you summon your own cursed spirit, Osu. You named it, even though you knew you shouldn’t. With the raise of your hand, Osu opened their mouth as you summoned the cursed weapons, funneling them one by one into Osu.

“Good work,” you smiled, affectionately patting the top of Osu’s gray leathery head. The spirit seemed to pur in response, leaning into the warmth of your hand.

With that, you sent the cursed spirit back to the in-between, which is what you called the shadows you send your shikigami to.

You sighed deeply.

It seems there are more and more cursed spirits these days. I left the sorcerers of Tokyo 10 years ago, but it seems I am still doing their dirty work.

With a look at your blood-stained clothes, you sigh once again as you make your way back to your apartment.

The citizens of Tokyo walk by, blissfully unaware of the danger that lurks in each of their mundane thoughts. Lights of neon billboards light the smoggy night air as cars speed past your relaxed figure.

You used to hate them. People who didn’t have a cursed technique or couldn’t sense cursed energy. For how weak and useless they were, how they contributed to the problems you had to clean up. The lives of friends that have been lost that you’ll never get back.

After the Star Plasma Vessel incident, you were convinced that you no longer wanted to be a sorcerer. You were on a mission in Nagasaki when it happened. You were ordered by the higher-ups to return immediately to protect the vessel, Riko Amanai.

As soon as you received the order you moved, getting to Tokyo in just 6 hours.

But you were too late.

Toji Fushiguro had successfully killed Riko Amanai, and disabled Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto. This was the first update you got. The second was when you arrived in Tokyo. Satoru killed Toji Fushiguro and secured Riko’s body.

You shivered as you entered your apartment. You remembered Satoru's face that day of Riko’s memorial service, cold and emotionless.

That day changed everything. For everyone…

“Hiiiikaaarrriiii~?” you called into the room, flipping on the light switch to find someone sitting on your couch.

“Yo,”

The familiar voice called and you stopped cold, keys falling out of your hands.

Your cat, Hikari, lay in his lap, soft belly up, purring at the sensation of his long fingers scratching her.

Traitor.

You quietly cursed your cat as you crossed your arms over your chest, pulling a cold mask over your shocked features.

“Satoru,” you say coldly narrowing your eyes at the man who you haven’t seen in 10 years. Instead of heavily tinted sunglasses he now wore a black band around his eyes. Now he dressed casually instead of his usual black uniform.

He’s not here on business.

His laugh sounded through the room, light and airy, but you knew it was fake. You had spent too much time with him, even now, you knew him like the back of your hand.

“I never thought you would be so cold towards me, y/n!” he smiled, the kind of smile he displayed when he wanted to be friendly, but knew he would win whatever argument he was in.

I’m annoyed.

“Satoru, I am no longer a sorcerer. I have no place in your world. I declared as much all those years ago. Leave.” your voice was so stern it made Hikari rise from her place in Satoru's lap and come caress your leg as if comforting you.

He paused for a moment, smile dropping from his face, as he studied you. He peeled off his blindfold, exposing those brilliant blue eyes. A stark contrast against his moon-pale skin and silver hair. The world seemed to rest in his eyes as they seemed to sparkle with life.

You didn’t falter. Instead, you held his piercing gaze, refusing to bow to the man you once loved hopelessly.

“I came to warn you. So before you try to kill me, hear me out.”

Your eye twitched at his words. A taunt mixed with sincerity. He had always been a cocky arrogant bastard, but his expression was so serious it scared you. So much so that you nodded and sat across from him.

“Nice place, by the way.” he offered and you scoffed in return, telling him with your eyes to get to the point.

He held up his hands, took a deep breath, then spoke.

“In the next few years, the Jujutsu world is going to change.”

If it were anyone else, you would’ve punched them for telling you bullshit that doesn’t involve you but… That serious expression didn’t leave his face.

“Which curse is it?” Satoru held no fear for himself, but rather for everyone around him, including civilians, ever since Riko.

“A first-year name Yuta Okkotsu showed up with a cursed sword imbedded with a high-class curse named Rika. Geto attacked him…”

Geto? I knew Suguru defected, but to attack a student? How far gone is he?

Satoru swallowed and then continued.

“Geto is dead… But y/n, this is just the beginning. There’s a group collecting Ryomen Sukunas fingers.”

You didn’t hide your shock.

“They’re trying to resurrect him…” you whispered, nearly to yourself but he heard you while nodding, confirming your suspicion.

“That’s why the curses are gathering in greater numbers, they’re feeding off the chaos. My guess is the group is trying to bring the glory days of the curses back. Which means –”

“They’re going to raise the number of sorcerers, but they can’t do that with you around.”

Your eyebrows knitted together.

What are you getting at, Satoru?

“Exactly, I don’t know how they plan to disable me. But when that happens, they’re going to need you y/n. Innocent lives will be lost if you don’t step in, but it has to be at the right moment. They’ve forgotten about you, about your skill how your strength was second to mine…”

You were already shaking your head. The thought of going back to that power-hungry world. That bloody world…

“Y/n think–”

“No,” you said breathlessly, Satoru's emotionless face of that day flashing in your mind. How he was a hollow shell for the remainder of that final year.

It broke something inside of you. You had seen so many deaths, but to see him, the man who smiled so carefree and bright be rendered to… That? Sure, he gained a deeper connection to his power, but at what cost?

“Y/n,” he said your name, voice softer as he reached across the coffee table, his warm fingers brushing yours.

“No, Satoru. You don’t know what you’re asking me to do.”

How could he? Your feelings were one-sided, to begin with.

Back then, you watched as girls flirted with him as he flirted back. Yet you were always there. You always listened to him when he needed someone to talk to about his scars, about the shadows that chased his light. He did the same for you, but perhaps it was out of pity.

You pulled your hand out of his touch, foreign and familiar. Even after all this time, your skin still missed him.

“You’re asking me to step back into the world I hate the most, but only after something horrible happens to you…?” your eyes stung as you finally met his gaze. His features were blurry, but you could see his fair eyebrows knitted together as he bit his inner cheek.

“I won’t die,” he promised, voice soft and vulnerable, a voice that you had only heard once before.

Your lip quivered.

“There are things worse than death, Satoru Gojo. I rather die, than watch you suffer again,” you admitted.

His eyes widened at your words, shock plain on his face but you didn’t care, you pressed on.

“I will not go through that again… When I got that call saying you had been disabled by Toji Fushiguro I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It was as if all the air in the world had evaporated. I traveled through the in-between to get to you. Only to find you…” your words died in your throat as salty tears fell from your eyes.

Shaking your head, you ran your hands down your thighs to ground yourself to reality.

—

Satoru was wordless. Which was rare for him.

He hadn’t stopped looking for y/n for the past 10 years.

When she suddenly announced her separation he felt lost. He had gained a lot, but he lost everything important to him. She had been there for him since the beginning, and he for her.

He recalled the first time he had ever seen her cry. There was a rumor that she had no feelings, that the strong female sorcerer was all ice with no heart. But when he saw her high up in a tree, knees tucked into her chest, rocking slightly, he realized they couldn’t be more wrong.

It’s not that she didn’t feel, it’s that she felt too much, lost too much to the point where she didn’t want to let anyone close to her fragile heart.

Satoru stared at y/n’s current crying frame, he watched as she tried to steel herself. Hands rubbing her thighs to try and soothe her pain, to ground herself. She chewed on her bottom lip as she concentrated between his eyebrows, unable to truly meet his eyes.

Memories of their past flashed in his mind. Particularly the night he opened up to her about growing up in the Gojo clan, and the things he had done leading up to attending Jujutsu High.

They were stuck on a mission together, the atmosphere was awkward and they only talked when discussing how to swiftly dispose of the lower-level cursed spirit. Satoru was particularly annoyed because he thought he was given such a remedial task, one that was without Suguru which at that point the two of them had become inseparable.

“Y/n, are you always so serious?” Satoru drew out his voice while leaning over her shoulder, lazily craning his neck to meet her eyes over his glasses.

She simply waved him off with an elegant hand while rolling her eyes.

“The sooner we finish this mission the sooner I can be done with you.” She sighed, popping a piece of gum in her mouth as she pressed on.

What is wrong with this girl? Usually, women kill to get a chance to be alone with me.

“Hey hey hey aren’t you being a little too mean? After all, you should feel grateful that I am here.” he boasted, stuffing his hands into his pockets, matching her brisk pace easily thanks to his long legs.

Her features further dropped into annoyance as she eyed him sidelong with one eyebrow raised, as if in a warning.

“I have no idea why we got put together. Anyways Gojo, we’re going to be entering the area where the cursed spirit was sighted. Even though it’s reported as a low-level curse we should still be cautious.” the woman scolded as she pushed a piece of her long hair behind her ear. For some reason, that act alone distracted him.

“I’m not worried since nothing can touch me. Unless I want it to of course.” he shrugged and she rolled her eyes again.

“Yes while you may feel invincible, I am not blessed with your lovely Infinity skill. So I will continue being careful.” another bemused sigh escaped her full lips.

Why am I so distracted right now? Is it because I know she’s putting up a front?

He was lost in thought for a while till her voice called out into the silence.

“This should be it. You remember the plan, right?” her eyes meet his over her shoulder, a coy smile tugging on her lips.

“Of course.” he returned her smile.

—

“Well, that was easy.” Satoru whistled looking at the pathetic excuse for a curse. Its corpse lay motionless on the floor of the abandoned skyscraper.

“Too easy…” y/n said, voice wary.

She crouched down in front of the corpse, face emotionless, eyes dissecting every aspect of the curse trying to find its secrets.

Scary. She’s too smart.

Her plan went effortlessly. She had him drop his technique entirely so they couldn’t be sensed. She went in alone since the curse was reported to only attack young women. He was to tail her, concealing his existence until the curse showed itself. Once it did, all he had to do was attack it with his cursed energy.

“Such a weak curse.” Satoru clicked his tongue, hands returning to his pockets.

Why did we even get put on this mission? Y/n maybe I could see, but me? Why couldn’t I go on the mission with Suguru? I can’t–

“GOJO MOVE!”

At that exact moment, he felt a huge amount of cursed energy that he didn’t sense earlier, but he was too late.

Y/n had jumped in front of his body, shielding him from the attack.

Y/n looked at Satoru with wide eyes as the cursed spirit stabbed through her abdomen. Blood spilled from the wound and her mouth as the spirit pulled back.

In a second he killed it, but it didn’t matter.

Y/n fell to the ground, hand tightly pressed to her wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

Panic bubbled in his chest as he quickly ran to her side, taking off his jacket and shirt, beginning to rip the fabric into ribbons.

“What’re you?” she asked weakly, color already draining from her face.

“Don’t talk, move your hand.” she hesitated, but she moved her trembling hand from the wound.

Shit, I need to stop the bleeding. I could use the Reversed Curse– no, too risky. I haven’t practiced enough.

He moved her jacket and shirt up, exposing her bright red stomach. Taking a deep breath in, he begins stuffing her wound.

Y/n screams out in pain as Satoru stuffs the hole, packing it as tightly as he can and he does the same to her back. Despite the pain she was in, she forced her body to be still for him.

“Almost done,” he promised to her, she only nodded through gritted teeth. Her skin was clammy and cool to the touch.

She’s going into shock.

Hastily he secures the packed wound with the remainder of his t-shirt and then wraps her in his jacket. He watched her face for a minute, her breathing is ragged and her eyes are tightly shut as if she was trying to block out the world.

“I’m going to move us now, can you hold onto me?” she nodded weakly as she reached up wrapping her arms around his neck.

Her blood smeared all over Satoru’s bare chest and stomach as he stood. He pulled her higher to have her head rest in the crook of his neck to try and return some warmth to her skin.

I can’t take her to a hospital right now… There will be too much of a commotion if I do that. Better if I take her to a hotel for the evening and call someone in secretly to treat her.

With one last look down at her he prayed for the first time in years that she survived the night.

—

“I’m happy you have half a brain Gojo.” Shoko chided as she finished healing Y/n’s wound.

They both had been dressed in fresh clothes thanks to Shoko.

“If you didn’t act when you did, she would have died because you’re trash,” she added, pulling out a cigarette and making her way to the balcony. He followed behind wordlessly, lost too much in his thoughts to truly take in her words.

Shoko was always with Suguru and Satoru, and she is skilled with her Reversed Curse Technique. Thankfully she answered when he called, if she didn’t he might’ve had to do it himself…

“Thank you for coming,” he said in reply, and she eyed him while she lit her cigarette, taking a long drag of smoke.

“Where’s Suguru?” she asked instead of responding to his thanks.

“Another mission. They stuck the two of us together. It was supposed to be just one curse. But…” his words died.

It’s my fault. I got distracted. I let her get hurt.

Shoko sighed, reading his mood, and took another pull of her cigarette.

“She’s alive, that’s all that matters.” she flicked the ash over the edge of the balcony.

“I won’t tell the higher-ups, I’ll keep this a secret. But learn from this and be more careful in the future. Not everyone can protect themselves as you can.” she took another long pull, blew out the smoke, and put out the bud.

“I am leaving, call me if anything changes.”

He watched as Shoko left and then positioned himself on the chair in front of the bed that housed y/n.

The pain was gone from her features but she was still far too pale. The blood that colored her cheeks was gone. The tips of her fingers felt impossibly cold. He had to keep watching the rise and fall of her chest to remind himself she was still alive.

Hours passed like that, guilt wracking his mind as he watched her sleep, then she woke up.

“Gojo?” she called weakly, hand immediately going to her once wounded abdomen.

Her face twisted in confusion as she continuously touched the skin there, feeling for the hole.

“Shoko healed you.”

His voice was soft and raw, he had no masks to put on today. He couldn’t, not after what she did for him.

She nodded once, wincing as she positioned herself on her side so she was facing him.

“Why do you look like that?” she asked while running a hand through her messy hair.

“Like what?” he knit his eyebrows together.

Why is she already picking a fight?

“Like a wounded puppy.” with a huff, she flicked his forehead. Of course, he had let her, but it still left him surprised.

“See, that’s better. That face suits you way more.” she smiled softly with cracked lips.

“What face?” some life returned to his voice.

“The face of a surprised idiot.” nodding as if proud of herself, she burrowed further into the blanket.

“Why’d you do it…?”

“Hm?”

“Why’d you jump in front of me, y/n? You know about my skills and yet you…” he shook his head, unable to finish the sentence.

She seemed to ponder the question for a moment, eyes on the ceiling.

Clearing her throat she spoke.

“You may not have noticed it, but you let your technique drop. I felt the difference in the energy. As soon as I noticed the spirit's attack there was no way I could counter-attack in time to save you. So if you look at the scales, and ask what life holds more value, it’s yours. So I choose you.” she said it so matter-of-factly, the blatant disregard for her own life, saying it held less value than his own.

“What?”

He couldn’t wrap his head around it. From a young age, people have tried to kill him. He was positive even the old higher-ups wanted him dead but didn’t want to face the consequences of killing the head of the Gojo Clan. Yet here this girl, who he barely knows, is saying that his life is more important to her than her own.

She smiled as if reading his thoughts.

“Although I hate to admit it, you have the power to change this world. I do not. If I could save the world's savior, then maybe my tarnished soul could be spared.” her voice was sweet like honey, but her words struck him deeply.

“Tarnished soul?” he repeated her words like an echo.

She smiled again, though this time sadness traced her features, settling into her eyes.

“You saved my life, so I suppose I could share some of my demons.” she ran her hands along the blanket.

“I discovered my curse technique when I was young. Being able to sense cursed energy and summon Shikigami came very easily to me…”

She considered something for a moment, then continued.

“You see, my home life wasn’t what you would call a ‘Happy Family’. So I was glad to have a distraction.” she paused, again running her hands along the blanket as if she was soothing herself.

“One day I came home early from school with my report card. I had gotten straight A’s so I wanted to show my parents. I entered our small home only to find my father stabbing my mother… Out of fear and rage, I attacked and killed him. It was also then that I discovered I possessed the Reversed Curse Technique. I tried for hours to heal my dead mother to no avail. Her wounds closed, but her heart didn’t beat. The police found the scene two days later, with me hugging my mother's body…” By the time she finished, her words were barely a whisper.

Silence fell in the room, only the sound of their breaths filled the space. For some time, neither of them spoke.

“I have never told anyone that.” she professed, voice shaky and unsure.

Not knowing what to say, he reached for her hand. She accepted his touch, and he enclosed her fingers with his, her hand feeling impossibly small.

“Your soul isn’t tarnished.”

She met his eyes, hand trembling in his. Something about her expression was so raw, so vulnerable that he felt that he needed to wrap his arms around her and protect her from the world that had taken so much.

“I killed my blood,” she shakily whispered, tears pricking her eyes. He soothed her by rubbing soft circles into her palm.

“So have I…”

—

“I can’t promise you anything, y/n,” he answered honestly, recalling the pain she shared with him. Knowing full well how much of him she held in her heart, and how much of her he held in his…

She ran her hands down her face, nails lightly digging into her skin.

He read the reports of her movements when Mei had found her. She did networking remotely for a hospital but still went out of her way to hunt down cursed spirits. Going after nests or high-grade curses, to help alleviate the risks for students training at Jujutsu High.

When he got the reports months ago, he almost dropped everything to see her then. But everything got so busy with Yuta.

Now that he’s here, all the things he wanted to say died in his throat. The sight of her shaking and crying, the tears he only ever got to see, made his knees weak and his resolve crumble.

Women were always interested in him, some he entertained, but none he cared for. Not in the way he cared for Y/n… No one compared.

“You’re those kids' best hope if I get taken out of the fight,” he said honestly.

He thought of his new dream, and re-strengthened his mind, trying not to let his resurfaced feelings sway him.

Her eyes met his, and his breath caught in his throat.

Time had been kind, and her beauty only grew. Eyes mature and loving, face kind and warm. So different from how she looked as a sorcerer.

She took him in for a moment, for the first time since she arrived she truly looked at him, she saw him.

He felt naked under her gaze, he had never been self-conscious, but with her, he felt nervous. Fearful he wasn’t enough, that he wouldn’t ever be enough.

“You’re playing dirty, Satoru Gojo, by bringing the next generation into this.” he watched as she sighed, shoulders curving inwards as she leaned back against her chair. Her blood-stained clothes clung to her skin.

“Then you’re agreeing?” she nodded, stress already lining her face.

Before he could talk, she spoke.

“Now if this concludes your business, leave.” the edge from earlier returned to her voice. It threw him for a loop.

“You don’t want to talk?” his voice, though sounding normal to anyone else, sounded pathetic to his ears.

She eyed him again, eyelashes wet from her tears.

Beautiful.

“Satoru… What do you want from me?”

—

Your heart was in your throat.

You agreed to sign yourself back up for pain because Satoru was right. If he was taken out of the fight, those kids will need someone to help them, your personal feelings aside.

But how could it not be personal? When the man you loved, who you still love, sat across from you with an open unguarded expression. Practically begging you to continue talking to him.

You spent years trying to forget him. The memories you both shared, the internal wounds you healed together. You tried finding your peace in others, but it was futile. The sight of his smiling face still shined brightly behind your eyes. The stories of his achievements chased your ears.

You sighed, running your hands through your hair whilst awaiting his answer.

“Do you still feel the same about me, y/n?”

Bastard. Answering my question with a question.

“Does it matter? You never saw me in that light, to begin with,” you answered him bitterly, some of your anger returning to the surface.

Genuine shock filled his beautiful eyes.

“I. Why do you think that?” he cocked his head to the side as if studying you.

“It was obvious, Satoru. In many people's eyes, you are a God. Women practically threw themselves at you, and you greedily took in all their advances. I watched it happen time and time again. If you harbored feelings for me, you wouldn’t have acted that way.”

The truth hung between you. You ran your hands along your thighs to calm yourself, not wanting to cry for a second time this evening.

You made to stand, but Satoru caught your wrist, halting you in place.

“I took you for granted,” he admitted eyes on the floor.

The warmth of his hand spread to your flesh. Your skin sang at the feeling, your pores drank him in, missing him as much as your heart did.

You stayed silent. The air between you two was impossibly heavy as your heart pounding against your chest, like a bird trying to escape its cage.

“I won’t apologize with my words…” he stood, now towering over you, even with the coffee table separating your bodies.

Those beautiful, intense eyes pinned you in place. You now truly looked at him for the second time this evening.

He grew into his features more, now even more beautiful than he was when you were a teen. He was unreal, like that of a painting. All silver as if he was pure moonlight with eyes like the clearest sapphires. You resisted the urge to take his face in your hands, to greedily bask in his warmth – in his scent.

Satoru walked around the table as he gently let go of your wrist. Instead, he place both his hands on your cheeks, cupping your face as his long fingers tangled themselves in your hair. Despite yourself, you leaned into his touch, closing your eyes.

I’m still so weak to you.

“Will you let me make it up to you?” his soft voice whispered, thumbs rubbing your cheeks.

You trembled at his touch. He was close enough that you could smell him, the smell of fresh summer rain and jasmine. Beautiful and alluring – it was home. He was home…

Satoru crouched down now, his face just mere inches from your own. Your breaths mixed as he stared at you so sincerely it made your chest hurt.

You gently grabbed his wrists.

“I can’t lose you…” the words came out of your throat in a croak. The thought of him being hurt or worse frightened you. It made your blood run cold and your stomach churn.

“I am yours, y/n.”

Not a promise that nothing will happen to him, but a promise of his heart, and that it belongs to you.

You nearly wept, the words you thought you would never hear now filled your ears. You almost thought this was some twisted dream, and that at any moment reality would slam into you the way it always has.

“And I am yours, I have been since that day you saw me crying in that tree.” a confession of your heart fell from your lips. One that you held so close and suppressed like a child's dream thinking it will never come true.

He pressed his lips to yours. A soft sweet pressure that made your stomach flutter. You fit so perfectly together that it was dizzying. His lips moved smoothly and passionately against your own, tongue licking your bottom lip asking for permission which you granted.

The taste of him caressed your tongue, the smell of him filled your senses, the press of his warm body against your own it all made your toes curl. Your tongues danced as your fingers found their way to his silken hair, tugging slightly, pulling him deeper into the kiss.

You had been kissed before, but nothing compared to this. The way his tongue teased yours, the loving press of his soft lips, and the reassuring pressure of his hands against your face; made your knees weak. There was a painful desperation between you two. The unspoken fear that you’ll never see each other again.

His hands slid from your face to your waist, pulling you closer to his body. You gasped at the contact, heat spreading from your face to your chest at the feeling of his firm muscles against your torso.

You were so lost in the feeling of him you forgot you had to breathe, so he pulled away first– a string of saliva connecting your swollen lips as he rested his forehead against yours.

You both breathed heavily, eyes hooded and dark with desire.

He caressed your face as if he was trying to remember every curve, dip, and pore that resided there.

“Y/n,” he whispered breathlessly, desperation coating his voice.

“Satoru,” you answered, just as winded as him.

“Don’t run away again…”

Your eyes widened.

He pulled his face back, allowing himself a full view of your features as he lovingly massaged your scalp.

“I understand why you left. But you didn’t even say goodbye.”

Blue eyes searched yours as if trying to find answers to the questions he’s had for years. Your mind went blank as your blood still sang with praise from the press of his lips, already missing his warmth.

You overlapped his large hands with your small ones, gently rubbing the sides of his palms.

“I won’t run,” you promised.

He didn’t move, his eyes still searched yours indefinitely. Almost as if he was holding his breath, waiting for you to change your mind.

“I won’t run, I'll fight for you, and for our future.” those words removed the invisible chain that shackled your heart. For so long, you held everyone at arm's length, but where did it get you? You were tired of pushing away your feelings.

A smile slowly spread across Satorus's face. It was a dazzlingly unpracticed smile, a real smile. One that was only for you.

“Our future?” he repeated while humming as if thinking your words over.

You bit your bottom lip in embarrassment as the blush on your cheeks deepened. You got carried away by the moment and perhaps spoke too honestly.

“I think I like the sound of that,” he murmured then began planting feather-soft kisses on your cheek.

You bit back your giggle as he continued trailing kisses to your nose, forehead, jawline, then the corner of your mouth.

“Satoru” you called softly, running your hands down the length of his strong arms, hands settling on his shoulders to steady yourself.

“Hm?” he purred innocently into your skin, lips ghosting over the expanse of your neck. The heat from earlier returned to your bones at his touch.

“I am exhausted,” you admitted.

You had spent all day tracking the reported nest. You then used up a fair amount of your cursed energy for the attack. On top of that you just went through a whirlwind of emotions you still have yet to process.

He pulls his face from your neck, eyes now filled with concern as he traces your body for any sign of injury.

You half sigh half laugh as you take his face in your hands, shaking his head slightly.

“I.Am.Fine.” you drag out each word from your lips, tilting his head at each word as if it would make it reach his brain.

You watch as his eyes gloss over as if missing your point entirely.

You sigh, gently stepping out of the warmth of his embrace and gesture to your still blood-soaked body.

“I need a shower, hot tea, and decompression time. It’s been a long day with surprises.” you smooth your hands over your face as the weight of the day settles over you, the excitement of early slowly dissipating.

A smirk pulled on the corner of Satoru’s full lips as a mischievous look filled his eyes.

“It’s quite late, isn’t it?” he mused, playfulness in his tone as he rubbed his chin.

“Yes, it is,” you confirmed slowly, not quite catching what he was planning.

“Well, it would be troublesome for me to leave at this hour, due to the trains stopping for the night. I mean, you know how far Jujutsu High is.”

Your eye twitched. He wasn’t wrong, of course, but what he was implying–

“So I guess I have to stay the night!” he said cheerily, extending his arms over his head like a child spinning in a circle.

I only have one bed… The loveseat is too small for his stupidly long figure.

Heat rushes to your cheeks as you briskly brush past him.

“I am sure you make enough money, go find a hotel,” you say hurriedly, making your way over to your bathroom.

You hear his light footsteps right behind you, entering your bathroom with you.

“Awww, why are you being like that? After we just kissed too?” though he pursed his lips to a pout, his eyes were full of humor.

He’s enjoying this too much.

“Are you saying because we kissed you have earned yourself the right to be in my bed?” you crossed your arms over your chest, making sure to push your full breasts up while jutting out a hip. You wore a breezy white button-up shirt and black pants. A plain outfit sure, but one that complimented your silhouette.

If he was going to tease you, you were going to return the favor.

You watched as he swallowed his saliva, eyes taking in your figure as they danced with desire. He stood several inches taller than you, and it didn’t help that you were in the confined space of your restroom. With your back pressed against the wall, he peered down at you, eyes hungrily taking in the sight of you.

He placed an arm above your head, pinning you in place.

“If I said I won’t do anything unprovoked would you believe me?” he asked his voice deep and low which made your stomach flutter. A smirk was playing on his lips, one that would make most women swoon.

You licked your lips, throat suddenly feeling dry.

“You always do what you want. You get what you want when you want it. So no, I do not believe you.” you continued to meet his heated stare, which seemed to please him. His fingers tilted your chin up further, making you crane your neck up to him.

“Are you suggesting I want you, y/n?” he purred, already knowing your answer.

You rubbed your legs together, trying to relieve some of that growing pressure between the apex of your thighs. A movement that didn’t go unnoticed by Satoru.

“I’m sorry, am I supposed to assume otherwise when you follow me into a bathroom and pin me against a wall? Or do you do this with all your friends?” there was one thing you never lacked, and that was your quick temper. Thanks to that, sarcasm tended to lick your words at all times.

His hand gripped your face, fingers lightly squeezing your cheeks.

“But are we truly just friends, y/n?” he brought his face closer to yours, hot breath tickling your skin.

“I recall,” he hummed as he took his free hand and trailed it down your clothed sternum. “You called yourself mine earlier.”

Your mind was cloudy, dizzy from the proximity of his face, the warmth of his hand gripping your cheeks, the smell of his skin, the soft caress of his voice; all of him was a drug, one that you could get high off of forever.

“I did,” you confirmed swallowing your dry saliva, trying to keep your voice steady.

Anticipation coursed through your veins as his finger continued to travel down your abdomen, hooking under the hem of your ruined shirt.

“Would you like me to show you how well I take care of things that are mine?” Satoru hummed, hot finger swirling around your belly button.

His long eyelashes lowered, making his intense gaze turn sultry and possessive. You forget to breathe for a moment, the heat between your legs spreading like a fire to your stomach, responding to his soft touch.

You bit your lip, your weak attempt at trying to resist him; crumbling with each mixed breath.

“What do you say, y/n? Will you let me worship you?” he dragged his finger up your stomach, playfully pushing under the band of your bra, just below your breast. Your breath hitched as he pressed his lips to your ear, tongue licking your soft lobe.

“Will you let me claim what's mine?” teeth grazed the soft shell of your ear and you gasped, head tilting back as the feeling went straight to your sex.

“Y-Yes,” you whispered, giving up your control, dropping your last barrier.

You felt him smile against your skin as he wrapped his hand around your waist.

“Good girl,”

You had to bite back the moan that threatened to escape your throat as he roughly kissed you, the press of his lips hungry and desperate. Strong hands wrapped themselves around your soft thighs, hiking you up the wall so he could press his hips into yours, hard cock pressing against your need.

Locking your legs around his waist you tangled your hands into his hair, fighting his tongue for dominance, clinging to the taste of him. He let a satisfied moan escape into your mouth as you dragged your teeth along his tongue, pulling it further into your mouth, sucking on the muscle.

He grabbed your ass shaking it roughly, the action making your clothed clit rubbed against his throbbing cock. You moaned greedily into his mouth as he possessively bit your bottom lip, tongue swirling along the swollen flesh.

Pressing his body further into yours, he removed his hands from your rear and began undoing your blouse, lips never leaving your own. He teasingly brushed his fingers over your clothed peaked nipples as he tantalizingly exposed you to him. Expert fingers crawled up your spine to your bra, undoing its clasp.

Supporting your weight with one arm, he took one step backward so he could remove the clothes that kept your skin from him.

He pulled back from the lull of your lips so he could admire you. Your breasts were heavy against your chest as your nipples ached, crying to be touched as the rest of your body did.

Satoru let out a satisfied sigh, eyes taking in your breasts as well as the tattoos that decorated your ribs and sternum.

“My fucking God you are perfect,” he praised, freely tracing his hand over the ink of your tattoos, lighting your skin ablaze.

“Mm, Satoru,” you whined lightly, tightening your legs around his waist to try and give yourself some relief.

He laughed darkly, his pupils swallowed his eyes entirely as pure desire resided in them.

“Eager for my dick, are you?” he hummed, two fingers pushing past your lips. You obediently sucked them, hollowing out your cheeks as you coated his flesh with your saliva as if this was your answer to his question.

You reveled in his pleased expression, he played with your tongue a bit while marveling at you. Ever-so-slowly, he removed his fingers from your mouth. He then scissored your thick, stringy saliva between his fingers, placed them in his mouth, and hummed in satisfaction.

Your insides turned molten at the sight. His eyes never left yours, even when he dragged his fingers out of his mouth. It was as if he wanted to drink you in, commit your every reaction to memory. He had barely touched you, but you could feel your wetness soak through your jeans. Your walls throbbed, practically begging to be fucked by him.

He read your expression easily, smirked, and then pressed his lips to yours instantly claiming dominance over your swollen lips. You were too lost in him to even noticed he had moved to your room, gently placing you down on your bed.

Lips trailing white-hot fire down your neck, he hooked his sinful fingers under the waistband of your jeans. He made quick work of taking the fabric off your skin and he kissed, sucked, and nipped at your neck. You moaned, all earlier pride washing away while being steadily replaced with lust.

You spread your legs wide for him, your sex, still clothed, had completely soaked your panties. Cool air kissed your heated flesh and you hissed, earning yourself a chuckle from Satoru. He rubbed gentle circles into the plush of your thighs, making you squirm with impatience.

He stepped back and you trailed him, sliding your fingers under his shirt, tugging it off his deliciously toned body.

“It’s maddening that you still have clothes on,” you admitted, bringing your knees under you, and planting kisses on his abdomen. He cursed at the touch, fingers entangling themselves in your hair as his gaze burned through you.

“Mm, you look so pretty on your knees for me, y/n.” he encouraged you as he lightly dug his fingers into your scalp.

You began taking off his pants as you trailed your tongue up his torso, his body shuddering against you as began sucking right above his hipbone.

You ensured to leave his boxers on, as he left your panties on you. It was driving you insane having a barrier between you two, but it was also a fun game you knew he was playing; who will cave first?

Ensuring to keep eye contact, you ghost your hand over his clothed length as you dip your tongue under the waistband of his boxers, feeling the stubble of his regrowing pubic hairs against your tongue. His eyelashes flutter as the hand in your hair trembles, you could tell he was holding back. Seeing him this way made your core throb.

“Are you trying to tease me?” he breathed heavily, chest rising and falling above you. It served as your encouragement. Purely drunk off the sight of him being so sensitive to your touch.

For a response, hummed innocently as you didn’t stop your teasing. With your other hand, you slid it up his left leg ensuring it entered his boxers, skillfully avoiding his balls and shaft while you softly swirled your fingers dangerously near where he wanted your touch.

His cock twitched, lightly hitting your hand and you smirked, biting into his hip, eliciting a moan from his throat. You moaned sweetly into his flesh, which drove him mad.

His hands found your shoulders and pinned you down to the bed as his lips found your clavicle, tongue tracing the length of the bone.

“Who knew,” he whispered breathlessly into your flesh, hands spreading your legs wide, as he began planting slopping kisses down your chest.

“That the girl who would cry in trees would be so evil?” Satoru licked his way from your sternum to your navel, tongue swirling around the soft skin making you squirm.

You hummed, fingers refinding his hair which prompted him to enclose your wrists with one hand, pinning them above your head. His mouth wrapped around your nipple, tongue expertly teasing the rosy bud making your toes curl. You mewled, back arching into his mouth as pleasure crawled down your spine.

“Who knew that the strongest man in this world would be so weak to my touch?” you challenged back, voice breathy and low. You earned yourself a nip to your nipple, making you yelp as your walls clenched at the feeling.

Satoru seemed to like your comment about him being strong because he happily worked your full breasts with his mouth, giving you a sensation of pleasure you never experienced before. Your soft moans filled the room, which only encouraged him more. Every lick, suck, and bite brought you closer to that edge.

He noticed too, humming into your skin and then removing his mouth, making you let out a needy whine in protest.

“Were you close, y/n?” he cooed, lips traveling south.

“Asking questions you already know the answers to?” you answered slyly, hands struggling against his iron grip. You wanted to replace the warmth your breasts had lost; wanting to chase the taste of pleasure he gave you.

“I always do, sweetheart.”

He smiled up at you, face between your legs, his breath tickling your needy sex. He inhaled deeply, making you blush even harder but you didn’t break eye contact, refusing to lose to him.

“Look at you, y/n. You're such a mess for me,” he clicked his tongue and dragged his finger up your wet, clothed pussy. Fire pooled in your gut at the lingering sensation of his finger. Your body trembled. You bit your lip, concealing the throaty moan that threatened you.

Satoru got on his knees and pulled you closer to the edge of the bed, your dripping core mere inches from his face. Without hesitation, he licked his way up your clothed cunt in a zig-zag-like motion, stopping just before reaching your swollen clit. You moaned loudly at the sudden pressure as your stomach tightened at the pleasure.

“Your panties are so soaked, and you wore white, too. Almost like you knew,” His voice vibrated against you, making you shiver.

He planted another lick on you, again stopping right before he reached your bundle of nerves, avoiding where you wanted him most.

“You taste so good baby.” he praised while continuing to slowly lick your pussy, your legs began to shake as your body screamed for more. He dug his strong hands into your hips, pinning you to the bed to keep you still for him.

It felt so good, but also incomplete. With each swipe of his tongue, he moaned appreciatively, drinking in your scent, losing himself in the taste of your need, but never fully giving you what you want.

“S-Satoru, mm, please.” you pleaded helplessly, submitting to him fully.

“Be a good girl for me and tell me what I want to hear, y/n.”

Another long lick without relief, you whimpered.

“Beg for me,” he whispered darkly, tongue licking above your clit just for emphasis.

“I-I am yours,” you panted, the ability to form coherent sentences increasingly becoming hard for you with each press of his tongue.

“And?” he coaxed, fingers now joining his dance as he rubbed two of them against you.

You recalled his words from earlier this evening.

“I want you to worship me,” you moaned loudly at the slight brush of his finger against your clit.

“What else, y/n? Tell me what you want.” his teeth are now wrapped around the lace of your panties, ready to pull them down at your words.

You swallowed your pride, allowing yourself to be consumed whole by his eyes.

“I want you to fuck me. With your mouth, with your fingers, with your cock. I want you to fuck me however you want, Satoru. I am yours, and you are mine.” as the words left your lips, he peeled your panties off your body.

Cool air kissed your throbbing pussy making you quiver.

“I am going to make you forget every man that came before me.”

The pure promise of his words nearly drove you over the edge, but nothing could compare to what came next.

His tongue licked up your dripping cunt, making your juices drip down to your ass. He growled anomalistically into you as you coated his tongue. You tangled your fingers in his hair, the sweet press of his tongue against your clit making you buck your hips.

“You’re so perfect,” he praised into your sex, sending sweet vibrations to the deepest parts of you.

His mouth wrapped around your clit, tongue swirling and sucking your bundle of nerves, sending delicious waves of pleasure through your firey veins. Breathing was impossible, you became a moaning mess for him. His name left your lips like a prayer, and he drank it up. Savoring every bit of your helpless moans, knowing they were all for him.

Without warning, he slid two warm fingers into your slick walls, momentarily stretching you, then removing them entirely.

What?

You knitted your eyebrows because the only noise you could make was strangled pleasure-filled moans.

But soon, those two fingers enter your ass, as his thumb entered your cunt making you moan uncontrollably.

You were overstimulated, so much pleasure filled you. His free hand came to play with your breasts, pinching a rolling your nipples between his rough nimble fingers. The edge crept back up, the knot in your stomach tightening.

“S-Satoru I’m–” you cried, your release rapidly approaching.

Tears pricked your eyes. No man had ever made you feel this way, let alone make you cum. You were almost afraid of the release.

“Not until I tell you to baby,” he warned, his tongue flicking your clit relentlessly as his fingers pumped both your holes, driving you closer and closer to the deep end.

You clenched your walls hard, trying so desperately to hold back your orgasm, which only made Satoru pump and suck you faster.

“I-I can’t–”

“Cum for me baby,”

His words were your undoing. On his command, you came hard around his fingers, both of your holes shuddering as pleasurable waves crashed over your body. Stars blotted your vision. Your feet became unbearably hot as your hands held his hair for dear life as if it would save you from your overwhelming orgasm.

“Good girl, cum for Daddy.” Satoru praised you, tongue tracing slow circles on you as his hand helped you ride the wave.

You felt like you were floating. Your body was impossibly light as you came down from your high. You tried to remember how to breathe.

Inhale… Exhale… Inhale… Exhale.

Wet lips found yours, the taste of you lingering on his tongue as his body hovered over you. You moaned into his mouth, your body sensitive and mind hazy as the after-effects.

Through his searing kiss, you began to reground yourself in reality. You hook your legs behind Satoru’s, then flip your bodies, pleased to find at some point he removed his boxers as your slickness coated him.

“Your turn,” you take his bottom lip between your teeth, dragging them slowly along the plump flesh. He gives you an appreciative smack to your ass, the feeling going straight to your groin.

You trail your lips down his neck, licking and sucking at the supple skin, relishing in the gasp that escapes Satoru’s lips when you lick his ear. Grinding your slick pussy against him, he grunts, hands holding your hips tight enough to leave bruises.

You smile as you feel him grit his teeth, soft pants leaving his lips.

“Feel good Daddy?” you ask innocently, pulling your face back to look at his beautiful face.

His cheeks were flushed with lips wet and parted, eyebrows knitted together, and eyes completely transfixed on your wet pussy grinding against him.

“Mm, you feel good baby,” he says to you softly and watches as you lean back further, placing your hands on his sculpted chest, moving your hips with a deeper pressure.

“Tell me what you want,” you sigh, enjoying the warm feeling of his thick cock against you. His eyes find your face, taking in your satisfied features, smirking at the sight of you getting yourself off by just grinding on him.

He takes your face in his hand and traces your lips with his finger.

“I want you to wrap that pretty little mouth of yours around my cock.”

The heat in his gaze alone nearly drives you over the edge, so you oblige him. Making a show of you getting on all fours for his lying down frame, wiggling your ass in the air for him, earning yourself another spank.

You take his member in your hand, pumping him a few times, marveling at his length and girth. Satoru just watched you, sucking in air between his teeth at your touch.

Bigger than anyone I’ve ever had…

Meeting his eyes, you brought your lips to his tip. Sucking and swirling your tongue, humming when the salty yet sweet taste of his precum hits your lips. His expression darkened as you moved your mouth down his shaft, hollowing out your cheeks, allowing him to travel down your esophagus until your nose touched his stomach.

“S-Shit, y/n.” his hands fisted your hair as you happily shook your mouth around him, causing him to curse again.

Slowly, you make your way back up, licking his underside as your hand cup and gently massage his balls. He’s beautiful, even with the sweat dripping down his brow and his face contours from pleasure.

You begin to pick up your pace. Ensuring to suck harder towards the tip and make slurping and choking noises to stroke his ego. Your saliva thickened as your throat fucked him and as soon as you could comfortably take him he regained control.

Satoru began thrusting his cock in your mouth at a relentless pace, you could see the satisfaction in his eyes as your tears formed and you struggled to breathe.

“You look so beautiful with my cock in your mouth. What a good little slut you are.”

Your walls clenched at his word as you licked and sucked him as best you could with his pace, getting off on the fact that you were pleasing him. You moaned against him, which in turn made his cock twitch.

“Fuck, just like that baby.” he hissed while throwing his head back into the sheets, the base of his cock twitching more and more in your mouth.

Suddenly, he aggressively pulled your head back, completely taking your mouth off of him, saliva dripping from your wet lips.

He laughs, running his thumbs along your cheeks. He pulls himself to a sitting position as you hungrily stare at his glistening angry red cock that stands proudly against his stomach.

“You almost made me cum,” he mused breathlessly, peppering kisses along your cheek.

“Well, that was my intent,” you smile and he groans, flipping your bodies so that you’re under him again.

He aligns himself with your dripping entrance and smiles at you. He smacks his cock against your clit, sending shocks down your spine.

“Tell me to stop if it hurts, okay?” you bit your lips and nodded, earning you another world-shatteringly beautiful smile.

“So perfect,” he murmurs against your lips as he slowly pushes into you, swallowing your gasp.

You tremble as your walls adjust to his thickness, the feeling of him stretching you felt like heaven. Inch by inch he pushes into you, allowing you to adjust to him every step of the way. His tongue plays with yours as he swallows your satisfied moan at the feeling of fullness he gives you.

“Fuck Satoru,” you breathe between the two of you. He nips at your bottom lip as he grabs your legs, allowing himself to bottom out in your pussy.

“You’re so fucking tight, y/n,” He presses his forehead against yours as a shuddering breath passes his lips. You nod your head while digging your fingers into his shoulders, a signal to him to start moving.

He pulls out of you, almost entirely, then rolls his hips back into yours. The feeling makes your stomach tighten, he reached so deep in you as your velvet walls hungrily sucked him back in causing you both to let out a moan.

He picked up his pace, now biting his lower lip in concentration. You couldn’t help yourself as you reached up and caressed his face, marveling at this beautiful man.

“Mine,” you whispered, almost to yourself.

“Yours,” he answered, slamming his hips into you, angling himself to hit that spongey spot that connects right to your clit.

You couldn’t hide the obnoxious moan that left your throat as he hit that spot over and over again, making your eyes roll back.

“Found it,”

You both lost yourselves in the feeling of each other. Him in the warm wet bliss of your walls tightly hugging him, you in the friction and stretch of him. Your mouths were a hot mess of skin, teeth, and saliva. Your hands hungrily gripped one another. His hands find your ass, bringing your hips up to reach a new depth in you, which you returned by meeting his relentless thrusts.

There was a sort of desperation in your movements together, as if you both feared this would be the last time you would be able to express yourselves.

Your breaths became ragged as you felt the approach of your second release. You hopelessly raked your nails down Satoru’s spine. His thrusts became more erratic as you felt his cock twitch inside of you, which caused you to clench around him. He wrapped his hand around your throat, hard enough to leave a mark, light enough to allow you to breathe.

“Fuck baby, I’m close.” he breathed into your ear, hot and heavy. The words brought you closer to the edge.

“I want you to cum for me Daddy.” You said breathlessly, the words falling off your lips in a slur. He grunted, fingers digging into your plump ass.

He sucked the juncture between your neck and shoulder. He reached between your bodies and rubbed expert circles into your clit, sending you over the edge for the second time that evening.

Your release crashed over you hard as your walls clenched around Satoru, taking him over the cliff with you. His seed spilled in you, warm and deep which made you feel so full and satisfied. You moaned helplessly into his shoulder as he whispered your name in your ear as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

—

Y/n’s body shuddered against him as they came down from their highs together. Satoru rubbed soothing circles against her sweaty back while peppering her hot cheeks with light kisses.

He has had a lot of sex, but nothing ever felt like that to him, ever. His cock was already hard again, deep inside y/n's warm pussy, plugging her full of his seed.

He had no intention of having children, but he needed to claim her, in every way he possibly could. He wasn’t satiated, not even close.

“Y/n,” he pressed a kiss to her soft, swollen lips. Basking in the taste of their combined lust.

“Hm?” she murmured dreamily, long eyelashes fluttering against her deeply flushed cheeks.

“Turn around for me,” he ordered. She whimpered but obediently did as he said.

Sluggishly, she unlatched their bodies and crawled forward on the bed, and got on all fours, shaking her ass in front of his face. He sighed at the sight, watching as their mixed juices streamed down her plump thighs.

Getting on his knees himself, he positioned himself at her entrance, relishing in the way her body shuddered at the contact. Grabbing her long hair and wrapping it around his hand, he slammed his cock into her quivering pussy.

She moaned loudly into the bed as he tilted his head back, getting drunk from the feeling of her tight velvet walls sucking him back in, taking all of him. Satoru didn’t hold back as he greedily fucked her, watching as her ass bruised with his hand prints bounced on his cock.

She cried his name into the bed, hands gripping the sheets as her chest fell to the mattress forcing her back to arch at a harsher angle. He watched as drool pooled from her mouth with her face squished, moving back and forth with each hard thrust of his hips.

“You’re doing so good baby girl,” he moaned meaning every word.

She smiled, lifting her head slightly to meet his eyes, nearly driving him over the edge. He never came quickly before, which is why he was so shocked when he nearly busted from her mouth alone. She had bewitched him, in ways that no woman could even compare. From the feeling of her lips, moans that were soft and musical to his ears, down to the taste that dripped for him. No one came close.

“Mm, you feel so fucking good.” her praise was like honey, making his cock twitch and he set an ungodly pace, hands digging into her hips so he could pull her into his deep thrusts.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” she cursed, her legs shaking beneath him as her walls clenched around him.

He smiled wolfishly, roughly grabbing her face and kissing her. She moaned into his kiss, unable to control the tears falling from her eyes.

Tasting the salt on his tongue, Satoru pulled away and sweetly kissed her tears away.

“Does it hurt baby?” he asked softly, fear suddenly coating his veins.

“N-No, you’re just, ah, so, you feel–” her words were messy and slow, yet he couldn’t help but think she couldn’t look more beautiful to him.

She let down each and every last barrier for him tonight, and he knew how scary that was for her. He wanted to appreciate her, in every way possible, starting with giving her the pleasure that he knew no one had given her. He could tell by her reactions, the surprise on her face at each orgasm that she never came through sex before. It filled him with pride and a sense of ownership.

He slowed his pace, rubbing circles into her lower back to allow her to breathe.

“What is it, love?” he coaxed, lovingly smoothing her hair out of her face.

She gulped down air relaxing into his touch, and she sighed.

“It’s a lot, I-I’ve never.” she closed her eyes, body shuddering against him. Again, he felt her walls clenching him deliciously, it took everything in him not to moan.

“I know, baby. I know,” he assured her, peppering kisses along her spine. His hips moved in sync with hers, matching her pace while enjoying the full feeling of her.

“Do you want to stop?” he offered, but she shook her head with vigor even with her eyes showing signs of exhaustion. He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his lips, she was just as drunk off of him as he is of her.

He was enjoying this almost too much. He could do this for hours, but he didn’t know if her body would hold up.

“Good girl,”

At his praise, her pussy responded, clenching hard around him.

He smiled, taking his hand and pressing it to the base of her neck, gently forcing her face down into the bed. She screwed her eyes shut, teeth sinking into her lips to conceal her moan.

With a deep breath in, he picked his pace back up, rolling and hammering his cock into her. Her legs began shaking so much to the point they gave out on her, her body laying flat on the bed as he continued to bring them closer to their high.

“Fuck, you’re so deep,” she moaned, voice muffled by the sheets.

He grunted, the compliment filling him with even more motivation.

“You do such a good job at taking this dick, y/n.”

She whimpered her orgasm close. He could tell by how tense her body was. Her walls were impossibly tight around him, clenching down hard on his cock as if it was trying to suck him in.

“D-Daddy I'm close–”

His eyes rolled back. Hearing her sweet voice say such dirty things for him drove him crazy.

“I want you to cum all over my cock baby.”

He pressed kisses to her shoulder, sucking on the skin as his release crept up on him, balls tightening to prepare for the burst.

Her hands clawed helplessly at the sheets as he overstimulated her body.

“That’s right, let go, y/n. Let me make you feel good.”

She screamed his name as she came all around him, dragging his orgasm out of him. White-hot fire crashed over him as he stopped dead in her, shaking violently as he spilled his seed into her for the second time.

“Fuck,” she heaved, chest rising and falling heavily. He could only nod against her clammy skin, lips pressing soft kisses to her shoulder.

She reached her hands around their bodies and began rubbing his thighs, small hands trying to soothe him.

Laughing lightly, he slowly detached himself from her. His cock missed her warmth immediately as he set out to her bathroom, bare feet padding on the cold hardwood floors. He found the towel he sought and returned to her side.

She whimpered while he helped her into a sitting position. Slowly, he pressed light kisses to her face as he gently cleaned his seed off of her. It had spilled everywhere. Down her thighs, on her ass, on the sheets. Everything was sticky from their various fluids, and it made him feel good knowing he was the one that caused it.

He looked to y/n. She leaned back on her hands, eyes closed, forehead slick with sweat, lips parted as she tried to breathe. Her nipples were still peaked as he took in the sight of the love marks he had left on her skin. It made him smile.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, pushing some of her hair that stuck to her face out of the way.

“Hm, so are you.” she hummed happily, opening her eyes to meet his.

His heart skipped a beat.

The way she looked at him was indescribable. Even back then, she had been one of the few people who were completely honest with him. She didn’t care how powerful he was. She ignored it and accepted him. He showed her the darkest parts of himself, and she still supported him with a smile. This woman, who he failed to realize his feelings for till it was too late, looked at him with nothing but love.

He pulled her into his lap, taking her lovely face into his hands.

“I can’t promise you it’ll be easy with me,” her eyes widened.

“There may be a time where I get hurt, or I sacrifice myself for my students, or I make a stupid decision.”

“You always make stupid decisions,” she chided with a snort, coaxing a smile out of him.

“But, my heart is yours, y/n. For however long we are here on this earth, I promise to love you, and only you.” the truth of his words clanged between them as his heart pounded against his chest. It was the first profession of love he ever made and meant – it terrified him. Being this vulnerable, knowing now he truly had a weakness.

She smiled, softly taking his hands in hers.

“I love you, Satoru Gojo. I will love you through the pain and blood that awaits us. I will love your stupidity. I will accept your demons, fears, and dreams all the same. I will support you. I am yours.”

His lips found her soft ones, trying to conceal the tears that fell from his eyes. Despite that, her hands found his cheeks, lovingly wiping away his tears.

He couldn’t stop the flow. He felt so much at once; relief, pain, sadness, longing, happiness, fear, love. It overwhelmed him. He had missed her for so long. The way he would push her buttons so she could spit fire at him. How he was the only one who saw her soft laugh. He missed the way she would hold his body with her small one, promising him he wasn’t a monster as her scent enveloped his senses. He chased the smell of her for years, due to it being the only thing that made him feel at ease.

He realized then.

She was home. She is his home.

—

One year later

“Y/nnnnnnnn~!” Utahime called out to you, arms spread wide and she ran towards your approaching figure.

You smiled softly, opening your arms to accept her embrace. The woman crashed into your arms, chest pressing hard against yours as she sobbed into your neck.

“I thought you died! To think that bastard Gojo found you before I did!” she cried and you laughed, rubbing circles into your friend's back.

“Oi! What do you mean by ‘bastard Gojo’? And get off my woman!” his tone made you chuckle.

You two haven’t changed much.

“Utahime, let y/n breathe.”

You look in the direction of the voice and saw Mei Mei.

Your heart stopped. She looked even more beautiful than she did when you were young.

Utahime begrudgingly lets go of your frame. Though she pulled her cool indifferent mask back on, you could make out her slight pout.

Mei Mei grabbed your shoulder, her red lips pulling into a wicked smile.

“Have you been well? Has this trash been treating you well?”

“Hey, I’m right here!”

“Yes, I have been well, how about you?” you smile innocently as you, Mei Mei and Utahime start walking – ignoring Satoru entirely.

The grounds of Jujutsu High were just as beautiful as you remembered. You chatted idly with your friends, sharing stories of the past ten years. Utahime couldn’t hide her tears at some parts, where Mei Mei reassuringly rubbed your shoulder. Satoru lazily trailed behind, a secret smile on his lips as he watched you smile with your friends.

As you entered the main building you sighed, memories flooding your mind of your time here.

“Time sure does fly,” you muse, spinning in a small circle to take in your surroundings.

“It does,” they all said in unison, making you chuckle.

“Do they know?” you asked no one in particular, knowing everyone knew what you were asking.

“Gojo is still hiding your existence from the higher-ups, which is why we’re confused as to why he brought you here. Is it for Itadori Yuuji?” Mei Mei asked carefully, eyeing Satoru side-long.

You nodded once. He proposed that you meet Itadori Yuuji, Megumi Fushiguro, and Nobara Kugisaki so they could learn your face and trust you in the future.

As you approached the classroom an annoyed female voice rang through the hall.

“Oi! Idiot A and B are you listening?!”

“Yes yes yes, we’re listening”

“I want a steak”

“No you idiot I said we’re eating sushi! Sushi! Listen and repeat after me. Su-shi. Tell that happy-go-lucky teacher of ours that we want sushi!”

You had to stifle your laughter as Satoru opened the doors to the classroom, arms spread wide with a nonchalant smile plastered on his face.

“No need to fear your good-looking teacher is here!”

“Huuuh?” the students said in unison, their heads cocked to the side as they stared at the teacher with dumbfounded expressions.

Mei Mei and Utahime positioned themselves outside the classroom, ensuring to keep an eye out for anyone who might come down the hall and see you.

You quietly step into the classroom, an awkward smile on your face as you softly wave to his precious students.

“Hello, I am y/n l/n. It is nice to meet you.” you bow deeply to show respect to the younger generation, but you hear Satoru’s sneaky chuckle.

“Gojo-sama is this the girlfriend you’re so obsessed with?” a cool-toned voice called out from the black-haired student.

Toji’s son, huh?

“No way, this is your girlfriend?!” the pink-haired boy called out, voice full of energy and brightness.

Sukunas vessel.

“Of course, it’s his girlfriend, look at the way he’s standing so close to her.” the young female chided, looking at you with bright sparkling eyes.

You couldn’t hide your laughter. You used your hand to cover your mouth as the sight of them reminded you so much of Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko.

“I wanted to introduce you to her, so in the future, if you have to work with her know that she can be trusted. Back in the day, her strength was second only to mine.” Satoru bragged about you shamelessly to his students, making you blush.

Yuuji blushed while looking at you whereas Megumi simply turned his gaze away. Nobara still looked at you with awe.

“Why aren’t you a sorcerer anymore?” Yuuji asked, and you smirked bringing your index finger to your lips.

“It’s a secret.” you threw the students a wink, and Megumi let out a sigh.

“You’re just as bad as him.” Megumi stuck his chin out towards Satoru, which made you smile inwardly.

It’s still strange to think Satoru raised this kid, even if it is to spite the Zen’in clan.

“Don’t be rude!” Nobara slapped his knee, causing Megumi’s eye to twitch.

“Stop fighting, you’re making me look bad.” Satoru scolded, but none of them listened.

“Huh? Who cares about that?” Megumi challenged, easily pushing Satoru’s buttons.

“Eh? What did you just say you brat?” Satoru wasted no time, locking Megumis head in his arm, aggressively messing his spiky hair up.

You stood, trying to stifle your laughter at the lively sight. Nobara cheered Satoru on while Yuuji remained shocked at his teacher's actions. You could hear Mei Mei sigh and Utahime covered her eyes in disappointment.

You didn’t know how long this would last, but it made your heart feel so full. It healed the very last wound that plagued your soul. Finally, you were whole again.

You became remade in the brightness of their light.

#gojo satoru #gojo smut #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #jjk smut #angst #angst/fluff #angst/comfort #romance #pornwithplot #gojo satoru smut #adult gojo #teen gojo #soft gojo #possessive gojo

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sakuraryomen01 · 1 year

Text

Valentino.. /Sukuna Ryomen x Female Reader/ .o3

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, getting ignored by childhood crush (*gasp*)

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 1.397k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 (will be updated..)

a/n:: I hope I can get the next chapter out soon, and I hope you enjoy this one! The next one is hopefully going to have more than just up to 1k words ><

Thank you for reading this bit! Enjoy~

. . .

After you had seen Sukuna for yourself just a few weeks ago, you heart still aches with confusion.

Didn’t he miss you after years of being apart?

Whatever the reason, Sukuna showed no signs of trying to explain himself. Removing himself from the room whenever class ended, ignoring all the women that were desperately trying to make their way into his path. It didn’t bother you much, other than the burn of your old memories.

Sukuna was so different from his childhood. What happened?

“And with that,” Toji’s cool voice suddenly snapped into your thoughts, making you blink and drop your pen. You were in the middle of class, thinking about your small-world problems. Could you be any more pathetic?

“I’ll excuse you. But make sure to have your presentations and your names on them before showing me anything. I’m sick of group projects without both of your names.”

Oh right, group projects.

You normally didn’t need a partner, given that the uneven number of students in the class left you with no one. Toji, being a rather relaxed teacher, just handed out the F’s that were needed for the shitty projects and even sometimes handed out very low D’s to the three chicks that normally hovered around in the back when they presented.

After about ten minutes, the bell for the end of class rang and you stood up, your eyes making their way over to Sukuna once again as he stood and grabbed his things. It was a note day, so he had to put in a few things, but his phone buzzed as someone sent him a text.

You wondered who it was, but quickly grabbed your things and headed down to intercept Sukuna’s path. Though he didn’t care, he picked up his phone and hastily sent something to the other person and stuffed his phone into his pocket. But before he could walk away, your body blocked him, and a grimace instantly clouded his features.

“Yo,” You said, cringing at the small greeting and sighing. “Wh-What’s up..? D-Dude..?”

Note one: People skills need fixing.

“Yo,” Sukuna mimicked, a smirk on his annoyed face as he picked his bag up. “Are you done? I got Computers next.”

“I want to talk to you.”

He let out a sigh, pushing past you as he felt the teacher’s eyes bore into the side of his head. Walking towards the door, he looked back at you and scoffed. “For a smart bitch, you should get the hint.”

You blinked a few times, watching him leave as students poured out behind him.

What had gone wrong for him? Wasn’t he proud to have achieved his goals of getting into a top-graded school? Didn’t he want to talk to you at all? This was a once in a lifetime opportunity to catch up, so why didn’t he want anything to do with you?

With a huff, you followed. Eventually finding Sukuna in a crowd and tugged on his arm. “Sukuna!”

“Let me go,” He snapped back, his voice dark as he turned his red eyes towards you again. “I’m not talking to you.”

“Then tell me why!” You said, your cheeks burning as the attention of some passerby students looked over towards you and Sukuna. “Just tell me, so I know. Please.”

Sukuna stared at you, the steady breath coming through his nose being the only noise you heard past the squeaking of shoes and then chatter of voices.

There were little to no one caring about the small argument that was going on between you and him, but there wasn’t any hesitation when he grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards one of the empty classrooms that no one really frequented unless they wanted to get busted with a cigarette on campus.

“Agh! Hey!"

"Shut up."

The stern growl in his tone made you shut up, sighing with annoyance as he pulled you towards the empty classroom. Slamming the door once you were both inside, Sukuna pushed you away from him and released his hold on your wrist, a firm scowl settling on his features.

"Since you won't leave me alone," He muttered, pressing his back against the door, locking the door with an echoing click. "I'll just tell you before I get a fucking restraining order on you."

You sighed, "That's all I want. Just tell me."

Sukuna stayed quiet for a moment, looking you over with a grimace as if he hated your very existence. A deep rooted anger with you was what he had behind his glare and his distance, making sure that you didn't step closer. He didn't want, or need you, anymore.

No matter how pissed off or scared he was, he couldn't let it show.

"You wanna know that badly?"

You nodded, making his annoyance worse.

You should've guessed by now, or did you get dumber while he was away? "Fine. Sit."

While the air in the room got tense and thick, you sat at one of the desks and crossed your legs, arms crossed and staring at your former best friend. His eyes boring into yours with anger, clear and unchecked.

Does he plan on killing you right now?

"The reason I want nothing to do with you," Sukuna started, removing himself from his spot on the door and stepping towards you. The sounds of his books and pencils moving around in his bag make you hold your breath. "Is because you left me with nothing."

"What..?" Your breath hitched as Sukuna's fist slammed against the creaky old desk top, silence catching you once again in its tight embrace. His face was so close you could smell the minty concoction of his toothpaste and the cinnamon taste of his gum.

"No calls, no texts. Not even a letter with your name or mine on it," Sukuna answered, his jaw tight and his eyes wide with frustration. "You didn't try reaching out to me, not even asking how I was, or how Yuji felt after you left me alone. My deadbeat father caused nothing but pain and you weren't there to help me. Thankfully, he drank himself to the grave so I don't have to hear him screeching profanities in the middle of the night at some whore."

You were still in your seat, looking up at Sukuna with a great deal of sadness. Abandoned him? That what he thought you had done?

No.. it's what you did.

He was right when he said you didn't try to reach out, to help him in one of his darkest hours. No wonder he hated you and wanted nothing to do with you, you weren't there for him even though he was there for you since day one.

"You get it now." Sukuna huffed, his voice laced with pure rage. "Now, fuck off, Y/n. If I want to talk to you, I will."

Sukuna stood his breath heavy as he let out a sigh, his V-cut black sweater hanging loose from his shoulders and body. His tie looked disheveled and loose, much like his belt and pants. From what you could tell, he looked like your average artsy college kid, though what you felt deep inside your chest told you different.

The kid you remember from almost a decade ago, wasn't the Sukuna that was standing before you. He was different, in a weirdly intoxicating way.

Why was that?

"Okay," You mumbled, squirming in your spot as the male scoffed, turning to leave.

"I'll see you later then, in Toji's class." Sukuna commented, unlocking the door and exiting. His mind focused back on his classes as he walked down the hall, hearing the door from the classroom open again as you left too.

From where you stood in Sukuna's circle, you considered going after him but chose better. You walked in the opposite direction, towards the direction to your next class.

With all the information you learned today, you decided that you would listen and stay away.

Wait for him to come to you, to be patient.

That was until Toji called you both over to his desk later on that nest day and sighed with a bit more annoyance than normal. His green eyes searching you both while he tapped his red inked pen with a grimace.

"So, Y/n. When do you plan on giving Mr. Ryomen here his first lesson?"

a/n: kjksjskjs finally chapter 3 has been posted! Hopefully you being Sukuna's tutor will get you closer to him, hmm? Maybe we'll get to know the older Sukuna and remember a few things from the past?

Chapter Song Theme: —Go Down Deh - Spice (ft. Sean Paul, Shaggy [Slowed] )

taglist: @mageyboo, @mzladyd, @mysticwonderlandangel, @sukunaspersonalfleshlight, @kawaiipenguin20, @k-indie, @okkotsufav, @cafeinthemoon93, @pulchritxde, @bontenbunny, @deepinballs, @kleeboomed, @fallenfeversstuff, @fiierytearzx, @wo-ming-bai, @ririkaxbz, @instantgalaxysheep, @watyousayin, @z3r0art, @sukunaobsessed, @lik0, @sukunasfirstlove, @princesstiti14, @nemoyr, @ladywolf44005, @cat-mak20, @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn, @hxlalokidottir, @instantgalaxysheep, @domainofmarie, @the-moongoddess, @dark-n-dirty-duchess, @agentdedf1sh, @sukunastoy, @lyn-soso, @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9

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suitepea · 3 months

Note

Kinda long, sorry. But I love knowing things like these.

10 11 14 18 21 28 30 34 38 51 62 72 73 75 81 82 84 89 91

Omg that’s so many 😂 this was a fun afternoon activity. Thank you

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?

Uuuh yeah. Just once. When I was 18 but still living at my mom’s house, I was on a video call with this super sexy fat guy and we were masturbating together. My mom busts into my room to ask me a question and I just JUMPED out of bed completely naked and shut my computer lol. I think she was kind of embarrassed so she left quickly and didn’t see what exactly I was doing, which I am forever grateful for 😅

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?

Fun fact about me: I own, like, 30 pairs of the same cotton granny panties and that is 99% of what I wear. I have like 5 pairs of Super Special Sexy Panties that I only wear on special occasions, so I don’t have a ton of options. That being said, it’s probably the lacy black thong that goes with my favorite lingerie set.

This isn’t the best picture to show off the panties. I’ll have to take another one sometime for you

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

Honestly, giving. My clit is super sensitive and I often find cunnilingus is too intense for me. It’s hard to get that balance of gentle and satisfying. I’m kind of a submissive person anyways, so it works. Plus, giving head puts my face closer to belly (and therefore closer to god).

18: Are you into dressing up for sex?

Not opposed, but I’ve never done it (unless lingerie counts). Depends on what we’re dressing up as too. I think I would look pretty good with a pig snout and ears 🐽

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

Short answer, yes. I have had many threesomes, and a handful of foursomes too. They’re lots of fun. The more the merrier :)

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?

Belly 🤤 isn’t it obvious?

There’s so much to love about men’s bodies though. I would struggle to name a second favorite.

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find

This is a difficult one because I don’t really have a lot of “secret” objects. Like if my grandma found my vibrator or something I wouldn’t care. I would probably have to say my diary from when I was in middle school where I used to write about the anime characters I was dating. That would be kind of painful to know someone read it lol

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience

Honestly fucking anything delicious! I feel like sweets are inherently sexual, so maybe those. At the same time I would be so turned on watching my partner crush a couple burgers. All of it please!

38: Best sexual complement you ever got

Hmmm this is a hard one. There’s no one compliment that really stands out in my mind. I’ve been told I give great head. I’ve been told I have a nice ass. Among other things.

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

Peas, but only because I hate them lol.

Other than that I’m not sure. There are probably lots of things I’m not thinking of.

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?

Hahaha see first question. Yes, I have been known to masturbate for people I really like. It’s a form of intimacy I really enjoy

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

Yo honestly my back and neck are extremely sensitive. My back more so than the average person I think. Back rubs alone are like a near-orgasmic experience for me. They feel so insanely good. Please rub my back.

And belly, of course 😁 The answer is always belly.

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

Can I say belly again? Lol

I guess pussy is the only real answer here? More specifically I like being fingered. If you can find the g-spot then we will get along super well lol.

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

Yes of course :> I love to flirt

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

Yes, I love degradation. But if you want bonus points, make it fat-shamey. Being called a “slut” is fun. Being called a “pig slut” is perfection 👌🏻

82. Are you into any BDSM?

Yes :) My fiancé and I have a big bag of fun toys. If you ask nicely, I’ll show you some pictures of me in bondage. I haven’t posted them because they’re a little raunchy and I’m not trying to lose my blog lol.

84. Do you like dirty talk?

So much. It’s one of my favorite things. I love a partner who’s good with words. It’s a super valuable skill to me that I often struggle with myself

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

I guess so? Haven’t we all? Sometimes one of us is tired or not in the mood so the other has to fend for themselves. Sometimes we’re both horny but too tired to fuck, so we masturbate beside each other lol. It’s not really something I fret about. I see it as a normal part of a relationship.

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

I have. My best friend and I have actually hooked up and had threesomes quite a few times in the past. She’s in a monogamous relationship so we’re just regular friends right now

#suitepea asks #me #weight gain kink #wg kink #glorifying obesity

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anyaeras · 2 years

Text

THE LITTLE WIDOW || N.Romanoff x Daughter reader

*Part one

Summary- Y/n was sent on a mission from the Red Room to kill Natalia Romanova but she can't execute the mission, but maybe she can get out of the red room, Natalia had a daughter the red room took, yet the red room brought them back together

TW- The red room, death, mention of kid napping

2.5k words

10 years ago-

“Y/n come back here my маленький паук (little spider) ” your mama called out, you both were playing around in the park together when you crashed into an older man, she was right behind you running to come save you when the older man picked you up, being in a strangers arm scared young you as you let out strong sobs

“LET HER GO!” Your mama shouted trying to take the group of men around her

“I told you , you would pay Natalia, you’ve now paid” the strange man holding you stated as the scary men around your mama poked her with something and you watched as her body dropped hitting the ground hard.

And Like that the strange man holding you walked away taking you with him leaving your mama as your own body felt limp your vision starting to Blur not only from sobs.

“MAMA!”

present time-

"Y/n Report to Dreykov" the sound you've heard hundreds of times by now rang through your cell within the 10 years you've been here, and the cuffs that locked you to the bed rail released.

You can't remember what it was like before the red room this is your home you are a part of it. you were raised by Madame B and Dreykov. You know they were other widows, you've definitely seen them training in groups doing the same drill over again mindlessly until it was melted into the brain, but it was never like that for you. You were different, you were special to them nobody told you why and you didn't have a clue but you'll soon learn why you are Their little widow

Walking down the cold, silent hallways all by muscle memory. When you are constantly doing something all of your life it starts to feel like you're not really doing anything like you're not really there. Withlist clicking The button on the elevator that lead to Dreykov office y/n waited patiently.

DING

"маленькая вдова" (malenʹkaya vdova) A voice I could be recognized from Miles away called out to you before you could even see their face, his face.

Walking to the chair that was placed in front of his desk before taking a seat. "Mr.Dreykov" was the only thing you said, waiting patiently for his orders not like you could do anything else. Being part of the red room leaves people with little control of themselves, you are at their bidding will here, and that's how it'll be.

Watching is he types something on The screen that laid in front of him before the chairrier in was turned showing a bigger Version of that same screen up on the wall.

"your mission. We need you to take out Natalia Romanova"

With that an Image of an older women with piercing green eyes is like your own and mid length stunning red hair. She reminded you of yourself a lot but putting that to the side you had a mission to complete and you've never failed a mission.

"Information I should know Sir?" You asked this is the least amount of information they've ever given you for a mission, usually they would give you a rundown you know the ins and out of whatever you needed to do and like that you'd do it. But the thing that intrigued you most about Natalia Romanova was that the name was banned from the widows tongue. The 3rd generation black widow was a disgrace to the red room a failure. You being the 5th generation black widow sent to kill the third is just Unheard of but never the less you always finish your mission.

"third generation Black widow of the red room, you'll be posing as a hydra experiment at the Siberian Facility base, the Avengers already have set in plans to attack and clean it out, that's where you come in, posing as an experiment gone wrong and take out Natasha. If anyone interferes take them out too, we don't value anything that they have to offer" Dreykov explained while you stayed in your seat never once's looking away from the photo that was place of the woman in front of your eyes.

Familiar a feeling that You feel every day when You walk the halls of the red room, but it was a different type of familiar You felt, you've seen those green eyes up close in person and they would all say she left before you were ever brought into this place. Like You were apart of her.

Being dismissed you were sent off to be prepared for your mission, knowing you had to look the part while also stocking up on weapons along your body, you didn't wanna underestimate the older widow, it would be foolish but nor would you leave failing this mission. Not when everyone says you were 'born' to kill.

With that you were sent off to a plane? Ship! Who knows it's an old piece of shit that can fly.

Landing into the base was like going into a Russian prison, dark and gloomy y/n felt uncomfortable but really couldn't do anything about it, all these Hydra agents and Scientists were gonna be dead by tomorrow yet not a single one knew, and as for your arrival they were told you were a top trained spy (which may I add is very true) but also that you were here to assist on a mission they planned for the winter soldiers. Letting them believe what they knew playing your part to perfection even with being treated worse then the red room treats the widows, you stayed in a cell until 'they need you' but you'd be out before then already having picked the lock you stayed put for the sake of your own mission waiting for this place to be under attack...

BOOM

The light flash came quick and man was it bright, the screams filled your ears as people were dropping like flys. Your turn, you debated just finding the women and going for the kill but that would put yourself at higher risk of injury so you decided to put them acting skill of yours to the test.

Curing yourself up in a ball waiting for the avengers to make their way to this area of the base, you let every memory and painfully moment that you've been forced to lock away to make yourself an emotionless killer resurface to the top of your mind tears falling down your face now almost pouring from your eyes. Now you may have compromised your vision but you listened as the sound of shoes clicked quickly echoing in the halls the sound moving closer, reminding you of every time Madame B came to get you dragging you away from your activities to train you.

You knew you were letting emotions get the better of you, you were to young to be sterilized but you promised you didn't even need it, you could kill without it but nows the times you wish you couldn't feel these things.

"Hey! Hey kid" you heard man's voice, not what you were looking for but hey it's a start, Peeking up slowly wanting to stay in 'character'

"So kid? You coming or you just gonna die here?" Was all the man asked, not that you didn't recognize the suit, it was that iron dude but knowing he was an avenger he could lead you to your target, slowly, and hesitantly you stood up not moving closer yet analyzing the threat

"I don't kid come on? Scared of men?" Tony joked not thinking much of it yet for some reason he did scare you, realizing they sent a child to kill an Avenger, a bloody Avenger!! They sent her knowing this was a death trap she knew it. You felt your upper thigh were the Widow symbol stitched into your body, reminding you to not fail, but as you've been so lost in thought you didn't realize how Mr.Iron dude had picked you up racing down the halls

"Thank me later but this place is gonna blow" Tony shouted at you, now you were frozen with fear, you knew this mission was going wrong, you knew you needed to hurry up, get the kill, check the body and get back to the Red Room.

Looking at your surroundings you made eye contact with Caption America, the rumors around the red room that he was a danger to the widows, he'd rip you apart and make you suffer, you've been told to never show weekends but god being around the worlds mightiest hero's was starting to freak you out, if you ran and went back failing your mission you'd be punished, but if you get the kill the others may kill you. You were stuck.

"So kid why are you here?" The Iron dude asked setting me down on a seat in their plane, but you stayed quite not wanting to interact with the older man.

"Well I've done all I can, someone else wanna try?" Tony said walking no alway dramatic, and that's when you saw her, the bright red hair like your own coming closer to you, you couldn't take the shot being stuck on a plain with all of them as of right now, but being closer to the target was a step in the right direction.

"Hello young one" Natalia said, her voice soft making you look her in the eyes

Thinking of a way to keep the conversation between the two of you for your safety you decided she must still know Russian, it's her roots.

"Привет" (hello) was your only reply hoping she'd catch on.

"ты говоришь по-русски?" (You speak Russian?) She asked you honestly shocked but something was off about you, and the spy knew it, you gave a head nod as a reply to the older widow hoping she doesn't catch on to you just yet.

"как твое имя?" Natalie asked me, I knew she wanted more information then she was asking but you were not about to give into the older spy.

"Y/n" saying your name to her was like something clicked in her mind, you watched her facial expressions changed

With that Natalia left you sitting there wandering off to find Clint.

"Birdbrains!" Nat shouted getting his attention

"I need you to hear me out, remember y/n, my y/n" nat said getting a nod from him, he seemed confused at her statement

"I think that's y/n, I know it sounds crazy but finding her in a hydra base, after being taken from nat by the red room, it doesn't seem impossible.

"We will have Bruce run a DNA test back at the compound till then try and talk to her, we still don't know why she was at that base if the Red Room and KBG took her" Clint explained to nat

"Y/n Can you come here" nat asked from across the jet, you stand up struggling to keep your balance on the moving aircraft but you managed, making your way over to the vicious black widow.

"Y/n would you like a drink" you knew this trick, truth serum so you denied the drink letting her continue with whatever she'd pleased

"May I ask you something" she asked you getting a nod you didn't give verbal responses often

"Who do you work for? We won't hurt you we just wanna understand why you are here маленький паук" (little spider) Natasha made sure to throw in the pet name cause if she was right about you it may help you remember her, she called you it daily and told you no matter what you were her маленький паук (little spider)

Маленький паук...little spider...you were her little spider.

All the the memories of before the red room came rushing back, but so did Dreykovs voice reminding you but if you fail you'd be punished. You never failed. Quickly shooting up from your seat pulling the gun from under the gown you wore aiming for the older widows head.

The rest of the team jumped up to help but Natasha put her hands up motioning for them to go away, reluctantly they listened.

You had to finish what you started with Natalia well your Мама.

"Крошечный паук" (Itsy-bitsy spider)

"You don't have to kill me you can get out, like I did" Natasha said softly aware of your unstable state, noticing how they didn't sterilize you.

"My baby it's okay to be scared but I'm here now" Natasha kept going y/n didn't drop the gun she was frozen but one slip of the finger it was over for the older widow.

"I-I can't don't you see!" Y/n cried out

"If I fail they'll find me!" Tears of fear running down your face.

"Вдова, y/n can you lower the gun, he won't find you" Mama nat continue to reason with you as the gun slipped your hand dropping the the floor.

Your mama's arms reaching out for you pulling you into her embrace as you let out emotions from years past

"W-why didn't you save me?" Was the one question you had for your mama.

"Y/n they told me you were dead, I thought the red room was gone, I thought I'd never see you again" was all Natasha could say gilt and anger rising in her but for now, she just wanted to protect her Little widow

A/N - Thanks so much for reading sugars, my request are open and I’m glad you all are enjoying my short Marvel stories

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asktheplethaura · 1 year

Text

If Only , If Only - Unicorn Wars Fanfiction

((Chapter Twenty-Eight))

((Ay yo, what's Obama's last name again-))

At the point of getting the bears who needed it medical attention- Caricias had no choice but to play the waiting game. They had been back at the camp for at least 10 hours. This time was spent doing paperwork by he medical building's door. This paperwork consisted of several things. Including placing a location down for the bodies of the other 6 deceased on Troupe Lone Owl.

It was only through half of his paperwork- that Sargento Caricias realized something crucial.

Which would be the fact that... there were 12 soldiers in the group based on the paperwork. However... only 11 of the soldiers were recovered- dead or alive. Along with the now-deceased sergeant.

There was 1 missing.

The bigger bear with the pear-shaped head seemed to be as frustrated as he was puzzled. Glancing over all of the pictures, names and general information was about as useful as having no info at all. If he wasn't mistaken- though- the missing Soldier was a tall silver and white bear named Cecil.

Everything lead to more questions than answers. Every step forward was another two or three back- and it made him feel like there was nothing of use done at all. Obituaries and traumatized soldiers who very well might as well have been content with being dead by now. Instability and insecurity on top of the grim realization that the mission they were all sent out on was a suicide mission from the get-go.

There were whispering's around the camp of the head generals and the disappointment of them seeing as their initial plans fell through. After all, you can't have free-minded soldiers and Sergeants running around the camp with their own opinions. That was dangerous when there was an intent of control over the land and it's already military-based and inspired governmental statuses.

After all, you can't sacrifice all of your men to the military and have them be able to assist in government at all- unless they were of a higher status. Then again, didn't all things work that way in life? The more power you had, the more you influenced overs and the more you influenced others, the easier it was to accomplish your goals. It took drive and determination. It also took hidden or dodged lawsuits, illegal activity and manipulation if you were crafty enough.

The very thought of it made Caricias bring his fingers up to his head to rub his right temple with a scowl finding itself carved into his sneering lips. He hated them with all his being, but he had no ability to counter them.

However, he was one man, and despite having several soldiers under his own wing, he wouldn't be able to make a difference. If he even so much as stepped wrong, the mother he had back home very well may be a notification of death he got on his room door the next day.

Because Otto and his lackeys always had ways to 'prove their point'.

Mistakes were often made that way, and the consequences were almost always too much for those who were stuck being served the plates they were dealt for disobedience, recklessness and and attempts to make a change.

Caricias knew it first hand. Because when he was a new sergeant to this military camp- he chased the words of faith. Often preaching to the same book that Padre did. It was ironic that way- because back then.. Padre wasn't an avid believer in the god he preached now. It was almost as if life swapped them around. Not for a lesson to be learned, but just to show how drastically things could change.

Sargento Caricias looked through a lot of papers on his clipboard, and shifted somewhere to the middle of it- where he found a picture of his first ever group of troops that he was given as a novice sergeant and trainer of the incoming recruits.

He chased the faith, and once his belief in the faith was lost with the lives of two of his soldiers during an what could be considered a tragedy- he knew damn well the Generals were at fault.

Because faith was something the generals were permissive about in this camp. They promoted the bloodied book of whatever god they praised- despite the fact they did not believe in it at all. Not because it was them caring about what others cared about- but because faith gave soldiers the will and drive to work harder. To be better and do better.

It could be considered rejuvenating- in a way.

For Caricias- the only thing the faith did was prove to him that not everything was black and white. Because two of his soldiers back when he only had the troupe of four were peacemakers. They were forced into the war, and they did not want to fight.

The unicorns they encountered that day in the forest... they were NEVER the reason that those two soldiers perished. No.. those two soldiers were shot and killed by the fellow soldiers in Caricias' troupe of four. Back then- those were the two that believed the most in the faith that Padre now chased and preached.

Those soldiers took fate into their own hands, utilizing the name of the god they preached as a scapegoat- and shot their own troupe-brethren in the name of 'cleansing the team of intruders'.

Fate wasn't something that just happened... fate was something that paves a path, and the path is chosen by those who walk it. There are no hand-railings or walls keeping you on that path. There is an entire open field to walk- but those who chase fate stay on the path they believe they are destined. It's not because they always think it is easy. It is because they chase what they have convinced themselves is right.

The odd-toothed sergeant lost several things this day.

Most of his open-softness around his soldiers, his faith in the gods he had believed in all his life, and four soldiers. Two to death, two who found themselves new troupes that they believed would be more suitable to them.

The yellow eyed bear looked away from the picture, and glanced over at Padre, who was standing next to the church with that stupid book and eyed pendant that they would give out to the soldiers of the Military Camp. Padre turned his face, revealing the long scar that Caricias had left there when he had flipped out at the beginning of the mission.

Caricias felt guilt for what he had done- even though it was too far away from the event to apologize. With a small exhale, the bigger bear leans on the wall of the medical building again, looking in through the open window. Several of the soldiers either in a hospital bed or next to one- mainly at his behest.

"You seem troubled, Caricias." a voice came from behind the sergeant, and the pear-faced brown bear narrowed his eyes at his paper, before looking over at a familiar gray-furred bear in a dark uniform. This bear carrying a snobby sneer across his features.

"General Otto."

((To Be Continued))

#unicorn #unicorn wars #unicorn wars fanfiction #unicorn wars fanfic #unicorn wars au #unicorn wars movie #unicorn wars otto #unicorn wars caricias #general otto #caricias #unicorn wars sargento caricias #sargento caricias #sergeant ironstrike

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duskwood-lovers · 2 years

Text

WHO ARE YOU?

Chapter:-2

Jake's POV-

It's been three days since Hannah was missing. I try to hack her phone but it's switched off. I am so hopeless I can't do anything to help her right now. So in the end, I decided to check on the FBI. To see if they are near. But to my surprise, they are nowhere around my location which means that Nymos are working properly. I created Nymos 2 years back. The FBI has been after me since I was 15. Yes, I was a teenager but who cares they don't give a fuck about it.

Nobody gives a shit about me. My mother thinks I am just a mistake and that she has been bearing me since I was born.

You know, I am one of those who uses his brain instead of his mouth. Everyone thinks I am a dumb kid who has no confidence but they are not wrong. That's why I have only one true friend who always stood for me in every situation. It's been 10 years since I last saw her. She suddenly disappears not only with her but her mother as well. Nobody tries to find out about them. The day I found out that she was missing it was my birthday. I cried so much. That's not the only thing that happened the next day. Some policeman came and informed me that they found my mother's car in the river with her body. She was drunk and driving her car and had an accident and died due to blood loss.

After a few days, they sent me to an orphanage since nobody knows about my father except my mother.

****************************************

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice that not only Hannah's phone was switched on but also sent a message to Thomas. I was hoping that she wrote that 'I am fine and don't worry about me I am coming home.

Thomas's POV

I just came back from the police station, To ask them if they found Hannah but they found nothing. Nobody saw her. Oh God Hannah where are you?

I miss her so much I feel like I was about to cry. I want her in my arms to hug her. I tried to call her but it's switched off. Then suddenly I hear the sound of a notification on my phone. It was a message sent by Hannah.

I quickly grab my phone and check the message. She sends me a phone number. And to my shock, the message suddenly vanished like it didn't exist. I quickly noted that number in my notepad. I tried to call her again but it switched off again. I want to scream in frustration. Whose number is that? I quickly create a group chat and add everyone.

Group chat

(Thomas, Lilly, Jessy, Cleo, Dan, Richy)

Thomas:- Guys! Hannah just send me a message

Richy online

Cleo online

Lilly:- Really, tell me where my sister is.

Lilly:- Is she with you right now I am coming where are you?

Thomas:- No Lilly, hannah

Is not with me.

Lilly:- what do you mean by she is not with you!?

Richy:- Calm down Lilly.

Lilly:- My sister is missing for 3 days and you want me to calm down

Cleo:- Lilly richy is right. Hannah is my best friend. I am also worried about not only me, everyone is. Please calm down.

Lilly:- Ok, I just want my sister back.

Dan online

Dan:- Yo what's everyone. What is this group chat about?

Richy:- As always you are last 😐

Dan:- I have other works to do, don't blame me😒

Thomas:- Guys, can we get back to the topic, please

Dan:- Ok, I am serious now.

Thomas:- Ok so…

Cleo:- Where is Jessy? We can't begin without her.

Richy:- She has work in junkyard she says we can start she will read the chat later.

Cleo:- Ok

Thomas:- So, when I came back from…..

I tell them everything about how she sent that number and that number suddenly vanished.

Dan:- Holy shit you can't be serious. Are you drunk? Do you want me to come and pick you up?

Thomas:- I am serious Dan.

Lilly:- Give that number to police

Thomas:- You know I can't do that.

Cleo:- Why?

Richy:- You can see guys he is the main suspect right, if he goes to the police and says all of this they are not gonna believe him.

Cleo:- So what should we do now?

Thomas:- Let's contact the owner of that number.

Dan:- You can't be serious tomboy.

Lilly:- I am saying police is a better option. What if that kidnapper sends that number so that he can spy on us?

Thomas:- But we don't have an option. I am gonna add that number to the group chat. Do you all agree?

Cleo:- okay

Richy:- 👌

Dan:- I am saying giving that number to the police is a better option but who cares about my opinion.

Lilly:- Fine

Thomas:- Ok then I am adding that number in the group chat

Thomas added 18325

18325 online

Thomas:- hey

18325:- um hello

_________________________

Author's note

I hope you like it. Please comment.

Have a nice day.

👋

#duskwood #duskwood jake #mc #hannah #duskwood gang

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skiniibuniii · 10 months

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probably never got fasting insomnia cuz i kept "recovering" before i reached the point im at rn. heres some shit abt me, my history of eds, and why i think and have been told i have EDNOS. added a read more thing so you dont have to read it if you dont want to.

wow someone likes me lmao jk but,,

when i was 9-10 i had to take one of those tests in school for BMI and i was the heaviest person there. all the kids compared bmis and i just stayed quiet when i was asked. so the very next day i did a week long fast without knowing what the fuck i was doing. i barely drank anything, fainted once and couldnt stand up without my legs giving out. yeahh my mom almost took me to the hospital, and i wanted that til my mom said id be poked with needles so i "recovered". off and on over those next few years, i tried to watch what i ate but didnt count cals (tbh cuz i didnt know how).

I started smoking weed around 11-12 and i started binging B A D. my stomach hurt constantly but i never stopped eating. to the point that my mom finally told me that i was eating too much cuz we didnt have the money for me to keep that up any longer than a few months. and my mom saying "youre eating too much", even though she was worried about me and i knew she was just worried, it totally triggered me again. still didnt know jack shit about eds. i tried to restrict and got into a fast-binge cycle for a couple months. "recovered" again.

tried to die right after i turned 13, got sent to a hospital for 2 months and thats when i learned about eds. started going to this LGBTQ club, met my bf and discovered my gender identity (didnt know abt trans people before that either, thought i was just really crazy), and started to learn about how to be safer. aand this is when it stopped being 100% about how i look, but now it was a 50/50 on looks and weight. got back in that fast-binge bull. got my first Tumblr page somewhere around this time too and was in LOVE loved my blog so much. got into ed tumblr for inspo but obvy that didnt last long. stayed on my main for a long while til (i think) i was abt to turn 16. "recovered".

about to be 14 years old, got back into my shit cuz i got pregnant and didnt know it and freaked out about how ugly i was, dropped to 130 cuz the morning sickness made it so easy to purge (i was and have not since been able to purge via vomit) and i barely ate anyway with cal counting, nausea, fasting, and chainsmoking. i did some drugs aside from smoking around this time and drank a fair amount too. found out i was pregnant, "recovered" AGAIN, stopped doing all that bad stuff and was tormented by my body for another 4-5 months. got up to 225lbs, apparently i gained 85lbs from month 5 to birth. popped out a baby, kid was healthy thank god, tried to breastfeed, yo-yoed between 200-225 for about 2 months, breastfeeding wasnt working and made me want to die with the gender dysphoria, switched to bottles, 2 months after that now we're back. didnt do crazy restriction but exercised like a madman. hated myself really bad. fast-binge you know the deal. bf force-fed me regularly. i fucking gave up. reached 175 before i bounced right back to 200.

now we're 16 its the first of june, gonna be 17 in 14 days. i havent been able to look in a mirror for any reason besides to do my makeup in several years. still 200lbs. havent worn anything that could remotely show how fat i am in years. out of nowhere i decided, "imma get back on my fucking shit. I REFUSE TO HATE MY BODY ANYMORE. I DO NOT WANT TO BECOME AN ADULT AND FUCKING HATE MYSELF LIKE THIS"

"hey, youre 17 now! happy birthday. i know your phone just broke, i bought you a computer! it was a great deal and they said it worked for games too! you said youve been wanting to play that java server, right?"

i remembered, tumblr is a thing! i loved my blog, maybe if i get back into that id be happier.

"ghost blog", gone. i cried quite a bit lmao, but lets start a new one!

and here we are. and i am not doing any fake recovery shit this time.

from what i know, EDNOS includes the off-and-on stuff and i was told by a couple people on my og blog that i dont have ana i have EDNOS.

boom thats my ed life story. and if thats kinda bad yall should hear my whole fucking life story. ive been thinking abt writing a book about it cuz it is actually fucking crazy.

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nicetrynicetry · 7 months

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God, who need psychotherapy when you have a cold plunge? Definitely me, but still. I had been putting off using the metal tub in my garden for a month, figuring my dreams of daily submersion into the winter months to boost my mental and physical acuity were dashed, until I remembered that the weather is still mild and swiftly bought a hose. I fill the tub up on Saturday evening after a day at the studio, strip down, climb in and suppress the primal scream that my body craves in the interest of not upsetting my neighbours. What ensues is a self-inflicted panic attack, and I see now why this is so good for preventing actual panic attacks. I stay for two minutes, and rise psychologically baptised. I should add that this is not an ice bath - I would put the temperature of the water at around 4 degrees C. Though by keeping the habit I want, eventually, to imitate a Joe Rogan video I saw last year of him smashing at the layer of ice that formed on his outdoor tub and climbing in, just without the footage

We will see. I can imagine the prospect of doing this each morning being exactly the kind of thing that keeps me in bed an extra hour. I do not have good associations with The Cold, would definitely rather be too hot than too cold in that particular game of Would You Rather. Cold is anorexia, being kicked out of a house, diner ice water, Auschwitz, malice, austerity. But associations are only as potent as we let them be, and so perhaps I can change my tune on cold. I know already after two days that no task I go to complete after the plunge feels nearly as taxing as the 30 seconds before I know I have to go in, no other promise I make to myself feels as hard to keep. So maybe I’ll keep more promises to myself soon, or maybe not. Ask me again in mid December when there is snow on the ground

“Are you going full Wim Hof?”, C asks when he comes over on Sunday. I say no, and it’s true. I don’t plan to appear on masculinity podcasts trying to sell a revolution. We catch up after a couple of weeks of no contact except a few videos and memes sent back and forth. C brings news of a workplace dinner arranged by his boss, complete with “icebreaker” games. “Haven’t all these people worked together for a while, though?”, I ask. C says yes, some have been colleagues for 10 years. The more I hear about the inner workings of The Guardian, the less I like. It’s not as though the paper is sinister, more just lame. Slightly knee-capped by a fear of bad reputation, slightly moralistic. Cool that women run the show however, and I know C prefers this. C might be one of maybe 3 real male feminists that truly cleave to the cause, and, notably, none of those 3 would ever EVER call themselves feminists. I don’t even want to use the word feminist

I digress. C went on two dates with a girl who has not yet admitted to being a nepo baby, which C discovered between dates one and two with some of his trademark investigative googling. His new conversation topic with new women from the apps is to tell the bakery story from last month and ask: would you take your dad’s money if your dad was a pedophile? This most recent girl says she would, that it’s the least the dad could do. C finds this telling, but it won’t stop him from seeing her again. Meanwhile his boss, now at the tail end of a messy divorce, has compiled a bucket list, which he is helping her edit on account of it sounding too much like a to-do list, and he’s right. (“1. Learn to roast potatoes, 2. Declutter the house”). He offers to take magic mushrooms with her, should she want to include it. I say she should be adding ayahuasca, and a “devil’s threesome” (two men one woman), and making croissants from scratch, then realise when I go to add “divorce” to the mix that this is more my own bucket list

By early evening C is telling me how much he thinks about the Roman Empire, which is the trendiest question for women to ask men in the autumn of 2023. Every other day, he says. Then he asks “how often do you think about your ex-best friend?”, which he explains is the feminine equivalent. I sort through my own mind for a candidate, and remember A, my partner in crime through my very early teens. I tell C I think if her twice a week but mainly because she disappeared in 2007 leaving no trace, and I never saw her again after I shattered my collarbone at the Reading Festival we attended together. Is she really my Roman Empire? Or is she just an unsolved mystery, like Madeleine McCann? I tell C I can’t believe I haven’t asked him to look for her sooner, but then again I had no true sense of his ability to dig up dirt until quite recently. So I ask him, can you find her? And if you can’t find her can you tell me whether she’s dead?

Before we part I load C with as much detail as I can remember about A, her sisters’ names, her coeliac disease, her schooling and last known location. He seems excited to get into it, proof that men love nothing more than being given a task. That, and the Roman Empire

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thebadtimewolf · 1 year

Note

Tentoo was a biological metacrisis, what happened in the third doctor audio was still a mental metacrisis like what happened to Donna.

Tentoo has the same exact mind && he is not another man and his mind did not burn. If you are using audios as canon you could listen to Flight Into Hull.

im just happy to pour out all the lore i got in my from reading and listening and watching dr who. so buckle up yo.

Considering the 50th anniversary with Paul McGann bringing up literal characters strictly from audios as a goodbye speech all the way to how he also interacts with other doctors in comics, tv (as seen later with 13) AND BOOKS: not only is the audios are canonical alongside the books and tv but that whatever we see on the tv on a week to week basis is just a snippet of the travels that is later referenced or mentioned upon in other forms of media (my favourite examples is the river meeting ten FRESH AFTER TEN SAW HER JUST DIE AFTER DROPPING DONNA OFF FROM THE LIBRARY ADVENTURE LIKE WOW BAD TIMING ON HIS PART GOOD LORD. and of course the time lord victorious multi media of comic/book/audio that takes place as its own season of specials with 8 9 10 DIRECTLY after water of mars BUT BEFORE THE 50TH FOR TEN TIMELINE WISE LIKE SIR 10 OF THE TARDIS CHILL OUT PLS?).

They all tie in together, and unfortunately, that means that all the batshit ways of 8th dr adventures are canon to our televised dr. (even ripping straight from time's champion plotline with 13 from 8/human nature with 10 from 7/time vortex absorption to become a god with rose from 8/forced separation by being sent to a future or past incarnation of the dr to gabby in the comics (10 to 12) from charley in the audios (8 to 6) etc.). And if those audios are canonical - so is everything else since other incarnations references said events of tv/book/comic/audios within their own lil adventures as well. That being said:

10too however is very much not that. He has the same mind up to christmas invasion AND THEN NONE OF THE CHARACTER GROWTH WHATSOEVER FROM TEN. HE NEVER EXPERIENCED LOSING ROSE IN DOOMSDAY AND SKIPPED MARTHA ENTIRELY AND SKIPPED WILF AND MISS MINOGUE AND ALL OF DONNA UP TIL the end of turn left and then stolen earth/journey’s end because as 10too himself states that he could see in donna’s mind WAY BEFORE DAVROS SHOCKS HER - thereby cementing that he’s not the actual dr. he’s just essentially jackson lake but reverse.

The difference between 10too and 3rd dr - regeneration-order-wise - is that the 3rd dr’s metacrisis event is what essentially a doctor who-version of what happened with cyberlisa and the pizza delivery girl in torchwood’s cyberwoman ep. albeit that this was between two humans in the worse case scenario versus what happens when one attempts to do this to a time lord and a human. in 3′s case, its either all in one fell scoop of physical brain transference or what exactly happens with the human. Either way, its really bad for the humans involved. again audios are wild. a good near reference of this is idris. but tardises do not equal time lords/gallifreyans/the dr’s true species. 3 didnt lose a limb and grew another him via the human dna nor have his entire conscious in another body. audios and tecteun love brushing over the very-in-your-face-body-horror.

even in flight into hull and other jackie and 10too- jackie and himself complain about his lack of self. (this is a running theme with 10too licensed content - him losing his time lord knowledge day by day and is struggling in building the very thing that came SO EASILY, EFFORTLESSLY for him to build prev. that the end result when dealing with threats is just blowing them up and calling it day - very much harking back to pm harriet jones or martha and the ostenhagen key or jack and sarah jane with the warp star - that it takes JACKIE to remind himself about actually REASONING WITH THE THREAT. TO SLOW DOWN. TO NOT FORGET HE IS NOT A HAND THAT CAN JUST DROP FROM A GREAT HEIGHT AND LIVE? that being said, his mind in a way does not burn. however it seems VERY HEAVILY IMPLIED IN OTHER MEDIA AND AUDIOS that he is getting alzheimer’s due to being a previously limb that was strictly as a bridge to enter the minds of humans. that empire of the wolf comic MADE THIS IN A NEAR POSSIBLE OUTCOME FOR HIM WHY DID THEY DRAW IT LIKE THAT? THAT IS A WELL KNOWN TV AND FILM TROPE I DO NOT LIKE WHAT IT IS IMPLYING FOR 10TOO

if you stopped at flight into hull for 10too content - STAY. DONT BE LIKE ME. DONT. ITS SAD AF IN THESE STREETS. only one is gonna live and what it seems like in donna’s case? sorry 10too and his deteriorating mind. u were a real g in the streets and the sheets.

#bw: out of ethos #answered #anonymous #tv: doctor who #{if you want to read all that: cool. if you dont: cool. but i think we should be more worried for 10too}#{because 10 just ASSUMES she'll die he neeverrr thought about the effect it would have if that DOESNT happen}#{like he ASSUMED that her mind will burn and she'll die but he never stopped to think about what will happen to 10too if that dont work}#{vincent van gogh in dr who is very much a hint of what will happen to 10too if her mind burn and she dont die}#{so u know.... brace for those kilgrave bein injected and hardy clutching his chest type of emotes from 10too}

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onlinelava · 2 years

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Drake hype lil wayne

You gone hype me up and make me catch a body lik 16 8.I'm On One e I'm getting so throwed I ain't went this hard since I was18 Apologize if I say anything I don't mean Like'what's up with your. She says they missed the old drake girl don't tempt me If they don't get it they'll be over you That new shit that you got is overdue You better do what you supp. ing Watch me take it! I might be too strung out on compliments Overdosed on confidence Started. e you here boy Cause all that hype don't feel the same next year boy Yeah and I'll be right here in my spot with a little more cash than I already got Trippin off. ols Atlanta can't bandaids Man drake's route Thimble on a broomstick P 13 1.I'm On One(Single) (Get em on)* I'm on one(Get em on) I'm on one(Get em on) I said I'm on one I'm getting so throwed I aint work this hard since I was18 Apologise if I say anything I don't mean Like whats up with your. e boss don't get sent for Get hype on tracks and jump in front of a b 12 4.Zero Dark Thirty Unsigned hype Frontline ever north's flurry Zero dark thirty Zero friends minotaur fugly stepchild devote lunch jumped over plunging netlines. gh Cause it's that new Drizzy Drake that's just the way it go Heavy airplay all day with no chorus We keep it thorough nigga rap like this for all of my borough n.

'm winning got you jelly your hype is dying down now your record isn' 11 1.Tuscan Leather Drake-Nothing Was the Same1.Tuscan Leather Comin' off the last record I'm gettin'20 million off the recordJust to of. e boss don't get sent for Get hype on tracks and jump in front of a b 10 10.For Real t on some Drake we Drank yellow tail Chardonnay and that was all it takes I'm taking over so wake up and smell the coffee cakes these other gu. these rap niggas? Fuck'em all Drake rhyme about these bitches I just 9 1.Tuscan Leather Drake-Nothing Was The Same(Deluxe)1.Tuscan Leather Lyricist A Graham、A. Slaughterhouse) iggas was hypebeasts my niggas was bike thiefs You let it out your sight and they take it to sight see Same shit another nigga gotta die today. these rap niggas? Fuck'em all Drake rhyme about these bitches I just 8 9.Microphone Preem(feat. 7 9.Microphone Preem iggas was hypebeasts my niggas was bike thiefs You let it out your sight and they take it to sight see Same shit another nigga gotta die today. s here I might to the Raptors Drake is there If a royalty comes through I ring my sister like'take a share' Two-twelve is a good one had an amazing year Don't wri. spoke to her she said it's a hype in jail She told me to stay away from there I told her I won't take it there You see the platform where you can influence kids. eyes at the academy prize The hype's horse shit The flattery's lies SĦ 7.BMO Field MCs wanna hype up twice You think you know cold well check this rain it's ice Smoking that loudest green part of my vice I've got dons in my h. try to hit me with boat fines Hype Williams Big Pimpin' yeah just lik 5 11.No Smoking in the House following Drake's motto or stay so-so I was rhyming on the track Way back when your mother's hymen was intact Yo you probably shouldn't rap ca. Future Supervisor Noah“40” Shebib& Southside Yeah yeah Yeah yeahJheeze yeah Right look look Tell me how you really feel tell me how you really feel I would ask you what's the deal but y'all don't even got a deal Most. the place boomin' First take Drake you know I rarely have to take tw 4 13.Grammys Drake-Views13.Grammys feat. vel gettin' settled Don't get hyped for the moment then start to backpedal Don't let your newfound fame fool you or cloud up your judgement To talk loosely I real. talk Me I'm 3 6.Weston Road Flows Drake-Views6.Weston Road Flows Supervisor Stwo& Noah“40” Shebib One of dem ones Right Weston Road Flows I did this shit for my. don't let it get to me Done Look what I've done in my life I had to count it and count it again To make sure the money was right They love to talk M. Baka] Man don't live of a di hype huh? Real ting ay Yeah I pull up in Lexus' like it's'07 I just hit a lick I got to hit a next one Last year I know you learned your lesson I co. Hype Supervisor Nineteen85& Boi-1da Man don't live of a di.

c stand And they ask what the hype's about come and find out I mean w 2 5.Hype Drake-Views5. t taking off You sound like a hype man hit you with the mic stand And they ask what the. Album ( Page Link ) Song ( Page Link ) ( Partial Lyrics ) 1 12.Statement on't care Drake I love what you doing but call up the game and tell'em that I'm here yeah I like that might snap I laugh y'all better surrende.

#Drake hype lil wayne

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rafescoke · 3 years

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Never sent a request idk if I do this right. Been to lazy and not good lately and honestly I just need a good fluff. The basic plot where he is in a bad mood like angry and then he turns to his lover etc etc. Do your thing I just need some comfort and love!

Cupcake ; Rafe Cameron

masterlist

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Maybe making cupcakes with a girl he likes won’t be a bad thing

Warnings: Slight angst on the earlier part, cursing, substance, extreme fluff, adorable Rafe Cameron

A/N: I hope you're doing good, sending all my love and hugs @ you <33 remember to rest!!! @asimpwriter

p.s; you know the drill - send any requests!

"Fuck off," Rafe sighed, shutting his eyes against the bright chandelier above the dinner table. Since when did it got so bright? The last time he checked, it was dimmed. "I swear Sarah, say one more word and I'll fucking kill you."

"Rafe," Ward sighed, placing his cutleries down onto the expensive wooden table. "It's family time. Excuse your sister."

"She's hanging around with those stupid pogues, dad!" he groaned, not wanting to believe that his dad was on her side. Not that he was ever on his, but he thought his father would have the same mindset as him towards this topic.

"Let. It. Go."

"They're my friends," she breathed, and Ward closed his eyes again, knowing the screaming that was about to occur. "I'm sorry you're stuck with Topper-"

"Didn't you cheat on him?" he laughed, and turned to look at his dad. He mouthed at him with an amused expression, "She cheated on him."

"I didn't, and we broke up 2 weeks ago. I'm sorry he couldn't move on from me," Sarah shrugged, and Rafe watched as she put aside her green beans and offered some of the mashed potatoes to Wheezie.

How could she act so normal about this?

"Oh, and-" Sarah turned to Ward, and Rafe waited impatiently for the lies that was about to slip from her mouth. "Do you know that he does drugs?"

"Sarah!" Rose yelled, furrowing her eyebrows as Rafe laughed out loud, clapping his hands loudly that the sound echoed throughout the huge house. "It's a family dinner!"

"I don't give a fuck about this family," Sarah said, removing the napkin from her lap and quickly standing up to get out of the house. Ward didn't say anything, neither did Rose, and after a few seconds, he let out a sigh.

"This is getting out of hand," he started, clasping his hands. "Rafe, I'm no longer letting you take over my business."

Rafe stopped his movements, looking at his father with widened eyes. After all those time he spent at college, trying to make his father proud and to take over the business, only for this?

"Dad, you can't. She's lying, dad, I haven't been using drugs."

"I saw the stash, Rafe," he sighed, and Rafe thought about the space under his bed. He closed his eyes, muttering a ‘fuck’ when he finally remembered the empty space. He didn't think much about it earlier, thinking about how he must have used up all of the powder.

"Until you get your life back on track, or nothing at all."

"Dad-"

"Go find your sister, and bring her home."

"Dad, please-"

"Go find Sarah."

"Okay," he sighed, standing up immediately and letting the chair scraped the polished floor. Wheezie shifted uncomfortably at the sound, and Rafe had an urge to do it again, just for the sake of riling his father's anger.

He cursed silently, walking away towards the table and to the porch, all while thinking about the joy if he could destroy the Pogues' life for making his hard.

The drive from Figure 8 to The Cut took him 30 minutes at high speed and being fully caffeinated, and when he arrived at the Chateau, all riled up from the quarrel with his father that he had before, he didn't try to see if his sister was even in there before barging into the small home.

"Yo, what the fuck?"

"Where's Sarah?" he muttered, giving Kie his side glance and continued searching for her. "Where the fuck is she?"

"Yo, bro, this land is off to the kooks," JJ stepped in, eye to eye as he leveled up to Rafe's height. He was only an inch shorter, but the difference was apparent. He continued to place his hands against his chest, whispering slowly. "Especially to crackheads like you."

Rafe laughed, tilting his head to the back to release the tension building up in his body. He was so, so close to give the blonde boy the consequences of his words, but was halted when Sarah entered the room, hand in hand with John B.

"What are you doing here?" she groaned, walking forward and standing in front of him. "God, can't you leave me alone?"

"Oh, trust me, I rather do that more than anything especially-" his eyes trailed to John B, "When you're fucking with a trash."

"JJ-" Kie stepped up, pulling JJ's shirt to stop him from doing anything. She sighed, knowing that this was bound to happen anytime soon, and she had told John B about this before, but he didn't listen. Now it was like her job to protect her friends from Rafe.

"Leave," Sarah stated, her lips pulled into a tight grimace. "Leave before I'll tell dad about this."

"I'm just trying to protect you," he ran his fingers through his hair, making it more messier than ever. Why couldn't she get that? All he was doing - it was all to protect her, so that his father could see him for what he's worth.

"You know what?" he sighed, wrapping his face with his large hands and turning towards the exit. "You wanna be one of them? Go. Don't ever come back home. You're just another trash, anyways."

He wasn't sure if he meant them, or if it came from the heat of the moment. All he could think about was to run away, to hide and to never come out and face his father or the judgement put by everyone else. He felt an uneasy feeling rising in the pit of her stomach, but he was too proud to say sorry.

“That was useless," he thought, leaning over his motorcycle and blinking his eyes against the lights by the side of the road. He couldn't go back now, not when his father had just ordered him to bring Sarah home and he had failed to do so, and he couldn't go to Barry's; his dad could find him there if he search for him the next day.

He groaned, feeling the cold air nipping at his skin until the final thought occurred to him. He laughed then, not sure as to why he hadn't been thinking of that sooner, and soon he was in front of the mini apartment.

He rapped on the door and waited patiently, his heartbeat quickening. He looked at his watch, checking if his arrival was too late. He groaned, noticing the time, but it would be embarrassing for him to turn now.

(Y/N) was trying to figure out what colour should she put into the frosting mixture, her hands on her waist when she heard the knock.

Her head instinctively looked at the clock, frowning when she read the time. It was not that late, only around 10 p.m., but she was not ready for any guests or her friends to come over.

Had she been too loud that the cranky neighbor next door who sleeps early everyday had come to tell her off?

She sighed, lowering the music coming from the radio before making her way to the door. She was in nothing but her ribbed top and a pair of sweatpants, and her hair was messier than ever.

"I'm sorry, Jerry," she sighed, opening the door to greet the old man. But standing in front of her was not the grey-haired man with furrowed eyebrows, ready to scold her, but it was the boy she had been crushing on since forever instead.

"Rafe?" she exclaimed, and she couldn't deny the shock spreading through her veins at the sight of him. He was sweaty, like he had just been in a fight, and his shirt was sticking to his body. "What are you doing here?"

"Hey, I'm sorry, can I come in?"

The smell of freshly baked cupcakes wafted into his nostrils, and he noticed the drool in his mouth. He didn't eat dinner that much, being forced to chase after his sister, and all he wanted was to enjoy some good food and get a good sleep for the night.

"I'm not. . . we can't. . . I'm not prepared for anything-"

"It's okay, I didn't come for sex," he bit his lips, trying to contain her amused laughter at her statement. "We're friends, (Y/N), aren't we?"

"Yeah," she raised a brow, not grasping at the way he was playing his words. She allowed him in, asking him to sit by the kitchen counter and checking her porch outside to see if there was any cameras in case he was trying to prank her.

Rafe Cameron never contacted her for anything if it wasn't for sex.

"What are you making?" he pointed at the mess on the kitchen, and (Y/N) tried to hide her red face as she quickly tried to put the stained bowls and cutleries into the sink.

"Uh, cupcakes."

"Yum," he chuckled, liking the way she was so nervous around him. The truth with (Y/N), she was extremely wild in bed but also very shy outside. It was like a complete two different person, but he was always intrigued by this.

The first time they had done the deed, he was shocked when she got into control, and he would lie if he said he didn't enjoy it. That night was one of Rafe’s best nights, the starting point to the many after.

"Relax, (Y/N)," he laughed, watching as she tilted a cup and placing his hand under the table to catch it before it could break. (Y/N) yelped, struck to her position, and let out the biggest relief when Rafe put it back to its previous place, safe as ever.

"Why are you so jumpy?" he whispered, sneaking beside her to help with whatever she was doing. He hadn't got a clue about this whole baking thing, only watching Cake Wars for the drama, but he wanted to help the girl beside him if it means he got to spend time with her.

"What are you doing?" she muttered, glancing at Rafe's hands as he whisked the fluffy frosting. "Rafe, you're going to get it more clumpy."

"No, I won't."

"Rafe, I swear," she groaned, reaching over to grab the whisk only for him to turn around, laughing while she struggled to get him.

"I'm just making it more fluffier," he smiled, continuing to whisk the mixture without even looking at the white colloid. He was too busy looking at her, and he wondered if she knew about the small amount of flour powder that had gotten on the top of her nose.

"Was the coke good?"

"Huh?" she tilted her head, confused, and still angry at the way he was not listening to her.

"The nose. Was the coke good?"

(Y/N) gave him a look before going to the corner to stare at herself in the mirror, letting out a yelp when she saw the powdery stain on her nose. She quickly dusted them off, stalking back to the still-whisking boy, and she wondered about the amount of energy he had in him and how he was still not tired.

"Rafe! It's all clumped!" she sighed, finally having a hold on the large bowl. She took her a finger and tipped it into the mixture, pulling out before slipping the finger into her mouth. Her face scrunched up, and she reached for the glass of water by her side.

"What? It's more prettier. More texture-ish. If we're in Cake Wars, we'll be the winner."

"That's not how it works," she groaned, pouring the failed mixture into the sink and letting the water cleansed them off. "Now my cupcake's going to be naked."

"You know what can be naked too?"

She held up her middle finger, placing the wet bowl onto the counter and using the clean cloth to wipe it dry. "And I'm not giving these to the children's home naked. You have to help me, Rafe."

Rafe felt a smile tugging on his lips at the mention of 'children’s home', and he thought about how perfect could she be. She’s the epitome of the girl everyone wants to be - she's good in school, never using anyone's money for her, good at baking, and has a big heart?

He thought about how she's good in bed too, but he tired to shake the childish thought away.

"What can I do? Should I go to the store and get any Betty Crocker's frosting?" he offered, his hands in his pocket to reach for his keys. He watched as her shoulder slumped, and he felt bad for ruining her cake. He touched her shoulder, "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't know it would actually be clumped. I thought it would get even more fluffier."

"You don't think, Rafe, that's why," she sighed, "But that's alright. Do you think you can help me make another one?"

"Are you sure? I don't want to ruin anything," he backed away, glancing at the sink and thinking about the clumped mixture making their way to the sewer.

"Yes. Can you reach for that sugar? That's flour, Rafe, god, yes, yes, okay, c'mere," she rolled her eyes, taking the container from him and dumping the content into the dried bowl. "Now, what do we do?"

"Put water?"

(Y/N) laughed, tilting her head to one side, trying to clutch her stomach from hurting. "Yeah, if you want the kids to get sick."

"Okay, Gordon, what should we do next?" he grunted, but he liked the lightness in the air. How the conversation flowed easily, and how quick he regained her trust to help her make whatever this is.

It was like she didn't care about the Rafe Cameron that gets into fights with the pogues or snorts coke when he's stressed. He felt like staying in this moment forever, wanting to help her bake whatever and watching her smile.

(Y/N) handed him the butter, muttering something along the words of 'dump them in', 'use the mixture', 'you're going to break your arms' and 'watch while it's whisking'.

He didn't care about the many orders she was giving him - he enjoyed it. He truly liked how his night was ending after a long day of bullshit, starting with his college sending him a letter for the vandalism he had caused outside of the Dean's office, Kelce and Topper going on a road trip without him and giving him the explanation of 'we asked you, and you said no'.

In truth, he didn't even remember anything about meeting them. His memory was starting to fade, and he shuddered at the thought of not knowing anyone when he reaches Ward's age.

"Okay, that's enough," she groaned, switching the button off. Rafe apologized quickly, being so caught up with his own thoughts, and waited for her next order.

"Choose the colour," she exclaimed happily, pointing out two different food dyes. "I can't choose!"

Rafe skimmed over the label that said 'blue' and 'pink', and made a face. "Are you going to give the blue ones to the boys and the pinks to the girls or something?"

"What? No?"

"Okay. . . why can't we just use both?"

"And make purple?"

"Yeah? Hey, look, I'm wearing blue and you're wearing pink!"

(Y/N) looked down to the ribbed top, noticing the colour, and her face turned into a red shade. Now everything's going to be awkward.

"Okay, purple it is," she rolled her eyes, giving him the blue bottle and taking the pink one for herself. "Three drops together. Are you ready?"

"Mhm."

"1."

Rafe licked his lips, so eager to watch the colour forming.

"2," she looked at him, and back to the frosting. "Rafe!"

"What?" he raised a brow, following her gaze and watching the blue dots on the frosting. He put his hand over his mouth, too stunned to say anything. "Oh my god, I'm so-"

(Y/N) laughed out loud, this time with her hands gripping onto the kitchen counter to stabilize herself, her mind rewinding back to his expression when he found out what he just did.

"Ha-ha, now you're just being an asshole," he rolled his eyes, but he was glad he had made her laugh. Instinctively, her laugh had made him feel better, and all of his worries dissipated into the air.

After a while, she tried to get ahold of herself to put the pink drops in, but failing to do so as his face kept appearing in her mind. Rafe groaned, having to wait for a few minutes now, and pulled her to feet. He pushed her against the counter, her back against his front as he trapped her.

"Don't laugh."

(Y/N) bit her lips, being in this position but not for what they usually do, and concentrated on dropping 3 drops of pink into the bowl. She cheered when she was done, pulling his hand away to move to the other side. The back of her neck was still hot, and she could still feel his arms around her.

"Mix it," Rafe smiled, leaning against the counter to watch as the mixer whisked the frosting, turning the pearly white colloid to a beautiful dark purple.

"It's dark!" she groaned, but she thought about how it still looked good, though it wasn't her expectation. Her job was almost finished now, and she could hear her bed calling.

"Now, the fun part," she smiled, taking her icing materials and placing them before his eyes. She watched as he laughed, being so excited as if he was a toddler seeing a playground for the first time.

"They used these in Cake Wars," he said proudly, showing her a nozzle.

"Stop with your Cake Wars," she mumbled, preparing the icing bag and giving Rafe one. "Put some frosting- not yet, Rafe, God, do you ever wait? Don't fill the bags too much, just in the middle, yes, just like that, and, wait, let me do mine."

She showed him how to do the perfect icing, practicing on a clean plate and asking him to do the same. He scoffed at her, saying how he got this, but what appeared was nothing more than a crooked line.

"That's nice," she muttered, sighing. "For a coming-out party."

Rafe groaned, trying to copy her artwork, and by the time it was 12.03 a.m., he had managed a copy of hers. Not literal, but there was a hint of hers in his.

"Okay. Now, Rafe, we'll make this quick. I do 80 cupcakes, and you do 20. Is that okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said, concentrating on his piping bag. He watched as she did the first cupcake, ending her icing perfectly and exclaiming happily as she put it aside. She looked at him, waiting.

"Don't look at me, you're making me nervous," he mumbled, and leaned to decorate the cupcake. It took him a total of 2 minutes, stopping at times and getting a yell from (Y/N), saying how he should not stop, and the result was impressive. At least to him.

"This will probably be in the rejected part of a bakery, you know, that they'll sell with a discount."

"Not everyone can do arts, (Y/N)," he rolled his eyes, but he truly enjoyed the joke.

It was nearing one in the morning when Rafe saw her sighing in relief, placing the last cupcake into the pastry box and safely storing them in the refrigerator. Her hair was in a bun, he had helped her put them up, and when she refused to let him help her, he gave her a poke.

"What? It's not like it's my first time putting your hair up."

"God, Rafe, you're impossible."

His eyes were almost shut, being so tired after being a cake decorator, and all he wished for was to pull her into her bed and sleep until the morning greets them. He waited until she was done cleaning all of the utensils, walking tiredly towards to him to wake him up.

"Get change, Rafe, I'm not letting you sleep in my bed with that shirt and that sweatpants."

"It's not a problem before," he mumbled, allowing himself to be pulled by her to the bedroom. He removed his shirt weakly, pulling off his sweatpants and jumping into the bed as soon as she closed the light. (Y/N) giggled lightly, noticing how adorable he was being, and she pinched his cheeks before she could stop herself.

"Take off your clothes."

"I'm not going to take off my clothes," she laughed, pulling down her shorts and getting into the bed beside him. She finally laid her back against the mattress, letting out the biggest relief ever as she tried to get comfortable.

He pulled her close towards him, breathing into her scent. She smelled like cupcakes, and he loved it.

"I'm going to the children's home with you."

"What?" she pulled a face, because she wasn't sure if she had heard him right. There was no way Rafe Cameron would ever step his foot into a children's home, what more to give out dark purple cupcakes.

"I'm going to the children's home with you. To give them cupcakes."

(Y/N) smiled and kissed his cheeks. "Okay."

"And we should do this again."

"Okay."

"Goodnight, Rafe," she laughed lightly, placing another peck before closing her eyes.

He placed a long kiss fully on her lips, feeling the butterflies soaring in his stomach. "Goodnight, (Y/N)."

taglist is close atm until i figure out wtf is up with tumblr :(

@okayshoto @joselyn001 @onceuponateenagetrash @dyingsleep @im19yearsold @iwannabeapogue @meaganjm @rafesobxs @flossy2929 @drewstarkeyluver @unfortunatekiwitrash @Mellifluouszayn @hhishho @hvrcruxes @scottybitch @asimpwriter @starxqt @amaya124 @Made212 @adriee16 @eggirl @tommy-tommo @thatshithurted8 @beyatch012 @fallincindy @marvelwhor3 @rafeswh0ree @kookap @supernaturallydc-blog @blank-velvet @alaniskauany @lumzs @kiiim8 @witchywrter @kaitlyn2907 @heyimflo @overcookedpastasause @tsukkiswifeey @spidey-d00d @anonymousobxfan @gotmeinloveagain @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @lexi-writes @Emmalvei_03 @classydragonthingknight @belongtoyou-u

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagines #drew starkey #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey imagines #rafe cameron smuts #rafe cameron fluff #outerbanks #outerbanks imagines #outerbanks x reader

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