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#‘only because he swears no matter how bad things get not to kill himself’
confier-boyfriend · 5 months
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I am reading a notoriously depressing and existential book right now, and then had the audacity to mouth “what the fuck” to myself.
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bakugoushotwife · 8 months
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kinktober day twelve: threesome kink
>>> brain go brrrr! i can only write a stsg threesome i swear it's bad these days. i just love this dynamic so bad and am clinically addicted omfg i hope u all love it as bad as i do--it is officially the longest piece thus far
>>> starring: satoru gojo x curvy!fem!reader x suguru geto >>> cw: mfm threesome, m/m interaction, fingering (f! receiving), oral (f! receiving), spitroasting, reverse cowgirl, double penetration (same hole), overstimulation, hard dom!geto, pleasure dom!gojo, switch gojo, switch reader, squirting, creampie(s). >>> wc: 5.3k >>> event masterlist
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he’s not sure when things changed. he’d always seen you in one light, he thought: his friend, his teammate, and a powerful sorceress that made the group a triple threat. you were easy to get along with and impressive to work alongside. you were also funny and had the same taste in music as him, which was a method of bonding during your early years of school. and sure, you were also insanely beautiful, but it was inappropriate for him to have a crush on his classmate. besides, yaga says it’s best not to intermingle with other sorcerers anyways. it would only complicate things, especially as you grow to be closer friends. so geto dated around to distance himself beyond missions and tried to to forget the butterflies your smile gave him for the sake of your group. with his luck, you were probably into satoru anyway.
he’s always been in love with you, he thinks, but enjoyed playing hard to get. unlike suguru, he didn’t shy away from spending time with you. he loved to follow you around campus with his arm hooked around your waist, all big grins and pick up lines that made you roll your eyes every time. he was able to play it off on his nature, claiming that annoying you was worth every extra second of his time. he was all too fond of your amazing skill and intellect, your immense beauty and body for days was only an added benefit. gojo made it a point to train with you exclusively, something that brought the two of you closer and allowed you to see the serious side of one of your best friends. he could never bring himself to make a real move. with his luck, you were probably into suguru anyway—like everyone else. 
this delicate balance continued through the rest of your years at jujutsu tech and into your young adult years. the strongest, the curse-eater, and the girl that captured both of their hearts–and connected theirs to each other. gojo was able to satiate himself on his little touches and glimpses of your flustered smiles, shamelessly jerking off at night to the daydreams he has of his precious little girl best friend bouncing on his cock and moaning his name. geto tries to delude himself into feeling like a protective older brother, making it his job to monitor your safety and suitors. but no matter how much he tries, his hand still finds his cock in the comfort of his own bed in the middle of the night, shamefully pleasuring himself to the idea of having your body rocking beneath him and his hand around your neck. 
everything gets worse—or better, depending on who you ask— when you all move in together. it was gojo’s idea, claiming his home was too big for just one singular man. so of course he would invite you to come live with him, he hoped to make you woman of the house at some point in the future anyway, so why not now? he extends the same invitation to his other best friend, only because he knows geto would kill him for taking you for himself. the men were close, closer than most friends in multiple ways, so it was no mystery that their shared crush on you eventually became common knowledge. neither of them minded the competition, seemingly convinced he would win your heart on his own before the other could do the same—or in the worst case scenario they would share you! (and whose idea do you think that was?) 
            but they had to up the ante. 
it started small, geto dropped all his flings, even earning a few comments from you about how lonely he must be with his lack of company these days. he always chuckles and give you that suave smile of his, purring out a it’s time i get serious with a wink. he offered to make dinner nightly, making sure the brunt of housework didn’t fall on you since you were already on laundry duty. he always gave you rather selfish relationship advice, making sure you knew how differently he would treat a woman. it wasn’t lost on you, nor were gojo’s efforts.
he encouraged you to take his card and go crazy, often accompanying you on shopping sprees for the house and making sure you leave with an armful of new clothes and whatever else your eyes lingered on too long. satoru showed you his serious side, keeping the house regularly dusted and the floors cleaned, insisting a family should clean up after themselves and not keep servants to make their lives more detached. he invested in your hobbies, letting you try to teach him how to knit, play video games, even trying to do a little book club with you—that unfortunately, suguru was better at, much to his disappointment. 
you weren’t dim, you could tell what was happening. you had your suspicions for a while, the two of them practically glued to your sides at all times nowadays—unless one of you was away on a mission, which happened far too often for their liking. you would be lying if you said their attention didn’t make you feel like the luckiest woman in the world, the two were easily the strongest sorcerers the world had to offer if you didn’t take one of those spots for yourself. they were both undeniably gorgeous in their own ways—so how could you possibly choose? your forced obliviousness is the only thing keeping you three firmly planted in friendshipville. though, it’s been more than obvious that you haven’t been seeing anyone outside of them, thank god, and you’re getting antsy. you have to apply more pressure, figure out something that would push them over the edge. you had to keep them competing for you since you couldn’t pick one over the other on your own. aha, you’ve got it—it’s low, scheming even, but you’re growing desperate. you’d just have to dust off your best acting skills and sluttiest outfit. 
it was late that night. you knew the boys were still awake, able to hear their laughter from your room. with one final and steadying breath, you peeked into the living room. they were sitting together on the couch watching a movie that was forgotten about as soon as you walked in, the soft sound of your door closing behind drawing their attention. you were evil in your cropped tank that made it painfully clear that was the only thing covering your perky tits, and it didn’t stop there. you didn’t bother with shorts, a cute thong cupping your pussy and sitting along those glorious wide hips. they could die–the effect you have is clear immediately. suguru clutches a throw pillow over his lap, hoping to smoothly hide the throbbing erection just looking at you gave him, while satoru only makes his more obvious by spreading his legs—at least geto tried to respect you. their eyes are practically bulging from their heads, suguru’s lip was between his teeth meanwhile satoru’s curls into a smirk. 
“you guys are being so loud out here.” you bat your eyes innocently, twirling a lock of your hair around your finger as you let your gaze bounce between them. gojo slides his glasses off, a bit starstruck as he sets them aside and looks over to suguru, needing him to be on the same page. 
“sorry princess,” satoru pouts, patting the spot in between him and geto. “since you’re up…why don’t you hang out with us?” you note the greed swimming in those all-seeing eyes. you force some bashfulness. 
“oh–dressed like this?” you rotate your hips a little bit to further your point and suguru has to clench his jaw tight to not groan aloud. “i wouldn't wanna make you guys uncomfortable.” 
“you won’t.” suguru blurts out, tucking some of his overgrown bangs behind his ear. satoru nods his agreement. 
“yeah! you’re our girl, you could never make us uncomfortable.” the white headed one says, cunningly petting the cushion again. you smirk to yourself, giving them a faux-reluctant nod before striding to sit. your ass ripples as you step past suguru, and his dick throbs pathetically. as soon as your back touches the couch, satoru’s arm is around your waist to tug your upper half into a lean; then suguru puts a massive paw over your thigh, kneading and stroking the exposed skin gently. they’re both so close, the heavy feeling of their hands on your skin was intoxicating; you could hardly tell where one stopped and the other one began. their scents were so overbearing, suguru’s spicy cinnamon and bourbon contrasted the honeyed vanilla sweetness of satoru so perfectly it had you drunk and losing sight of your master plan before anything had even really happened. but don’t worry, they’ll take very good care of you. you’ve gotten the ball rolling, which is good enough, right? 
they pretend to keep their eyes on the tv, heads forward like they don’t notice what the other was doing. satoru’s hand starts to creep under the hemline of your tank top, sinewy fingers long enough to brush against the underside of your breast. you hum softly at the touch, only encouraging the lean man to do it again. suguru watches patiently, waiting for more of your approval. you burrow deeper in his side, pushing your chest out even further. he could practically giggle with excitement at your eagerness. suguru scoots closer, sliding his arm across your lower back to grab handfuls of your thick ass free to fondle thanks to your slutty panties. your weight falls back to the middle, wanting to give geto more of your attention. he smiles at satoru at the action, taking it as a sign of your affection. the other man rolls his eyes, leaning into your side to nuzzle your cheek. 
the black haired man does the same into your neck, their hands kneading and rubbing and stroking your skin. you lean your head back against the couch, throwing your arms around them to encourage them further with a blissed out grin of your own. 
“our slutty little roommate came dressed like that for a reason.” satoru snickers, bringing his other hand to cradle your jawline, tossing a wink towards his dark haired counterpart. 
you hum, prying your eyes open to look at him with a smirk. “course i did…just like you asked me to move in for a reason and sugu gives me back massages for a reason.” you muse, humming as you walk your fingers down their spines. they look at each other with slight surprise, clearly they thought you were unsuspecting of them all this time. you chuckle softly, trailing your digits down their arms to close around their wrists, moving their massive hands to your chest, a boob each. you smirk at them. “everything that’s about to go down is only because i want it to happen, understand?” 
you look at gojo first, reveling in his amused expression. he hadn’t expected you to take over and become the boss, but he wasn’t necessarily opposed either. it was sexy to think that he had fallen for your trap, and not the other way around. he’d happily do anything that you wanted, all he wanted was you. you arch your brow and he nods dumbly, nuzzling into your cheek again to show his devotion. no woman had tamed him before, but it wouldn’t be so bad to start now, especially not when the woman in question is his very sexy best friend. you give him a soft smile of approval before turning to the real work, geto. 
many women had tried and failed to tame him, and he thought it was pretty funny each and every time. but now here you are, his gorgeous lady best friend, prepared to tell him what to do and exactly how to do it. now that was just plain adorable. you could see see the flames of intrigue flicker in his obsidian eyes, a gaze so intense it made you shrink into satoru a little bit. suguru was being hand gifted the only thing he’s ever wished for, but he would still have it on his terms. he squeezes down harshly on your breast, making you squirm. “cute. we wanted this longer though, so. how about you listen to me instead?” 
you scoff, looking down at his hand on you. “don’t act so bold now, sugu. if you wanted to be in charge, you should have acted like it.” you tease, and even gojo smirks behind you. he thought it would be pretty amusing to watch you two battle for dominance, though he’s smart enough to capitalize on an opportunity when he sees one. he pulls you against him, kneading your hips and giving your exposed neck sweet sloppy kisses, all playing into your favor. “maybe i’ll let you give out orders next time–but if you want to be a diva, i’ll just fuck satoru—i’m sure he’s more than enough.” 
the mentioned man hums, happy to be in your good graces and your leveraging tool. nothing drives suguru crazier than watching gojo get all the attention. geto gives you a look of dissatisfaction, only pushing you to climb onto your lanky friend’s lap, smiling down at him like an angel from heaven. gojo thought he may die right here. you’re perfect, the way your weight feels in his lap pressing up against his semi is so glorious already he’s afraid he may embarrass himself. his hands find your waist, and he’s looking up to you like he has no idea what to do next. he really is so clueless that it’s adorable. satoru acted like a pussy magnet, which wasn’t necessarily wrong since he is so gorgeous, powerful, and tall, but he never knew how to interact with them—especially since all his fantasies consisted of you, anyway. you smile down at him again and he knows it will be alright, that he’ll do what he does best and learn on the fly—he has to make you feel good. 
“take my shirt off, baby.” you coo to him, lifting your arms a bit so he could peel it off. He leans forward unsurely, almost looking to geto for approval before he pinches the fabric and brings it over your head. your tits fall from the little tank top holding them in place, a beautifully heavy chest with pebbled buds wait, calling gojo’s name. his face turns red and he looks up to you for the next order, feeling his semi grow into a full blown problem. geto watches you with narrowed eyes, aching bulge straining against his pants still, and you were only making it worse. he curses himself for being enamored with someone like you, an expert in pushing buttons. you’re his woman whether you know it or not, and he’s only willing to share you with his bestest of friends, even if you were grating on his last nerve. 
“do what feels natural, sato.” you breathe out, focused on the way his eyes grow at your permission and his tongue darts out to lick his lips. he’s been fixated on you as long as he can remember, and now it was his time to prove that he was the one for you. he drags your hips closer, wanting you to feel his erection pressing into that tiny thong you had the nerve to put on. you gasp in surprise, though a giggle quickly replaces the sound. you rest your arms on his shoulders, content to twirl locks of snowy white around your fingers. he groans at the sensation, struggling to keep his head on straight already. your body is so warm beneath his hands, so soft and pliable. you duck your head down to kiss him, and he tilts his head up to receive it. it swallows up all his senses, tunneling out everything around him to only focus on your touch, taste, and smell. he’s hungry, eager to prove his worth as a lover, wanting nothing else but to make you feel good. he grabs at your hips to feel you closer, and you indulge by circling your movements in his lap. he moans into your mouth as he feels your tits brush up against his shirt, making him break the kiss and lean back so he could get it off. he does it so quick that you aren’t prepared for his mouth to smack up against yours again, teeth clashing. you giggle again, enchanted by his boyish charm and overwhelming affection for you. it was sweet, and even though he was inexperienced, his kisses were full of passion and heat. 
geto had mixed feelings. on one hand, you looked magnificent. your body is like nothing he’s ever seen before, almost to the point of unfairness. no woman could ever compare after this. he’d either have to marry you or be forever disappointed. but, on the other hand, you were wiggling around in gojo’s lap instead of his, and that’s only tolerable for so long. gojo is lucky still, if it were anyone else there would be no tolerance at all. but his patience is wearing thin, especially once you start letting little moans of your own go because of satoru’s big hands massaging your tits and his bulge catching on your puffy clothed clit. you even sound angelic, and it’s pissing him off. this was just a display of your power over them, but suguru wanted to teach a few lessons of his own. he scoots closer, letting his hands mingle around with satoru’s, feeling the dips of your body. 
you can feel his touch, easily differentiating between satoru and suguru. your lanky friend’s hands were slimmer and warmer–moving around clumsily. your dark locked counterpart moved with more experience, his fingers thicker and rougher. you smirk at his impatience, clearly not able to be as obedient as dear satoru. you knew it would go like this, with gojo doing anything to please you and geto vying for control himself. you didn’t mind—you know it would push gojo to compete. 
geto wastes no time in pulling you off of gojo’s lap and into his own, much to his friend’s disappointment. you give him a pointed look, brow raised and all, but you still wrap your arms around his shoulders the same way you did your other bestie. he smirks up at you, expecting nothing but your compliance once he sees how wet gojo got you. he can tell from the look in your eyes that you don’t have a lot of fight left in you despite the way you act, and that’s perfect for him. he plans to make you brainless, able to remember nothing but him anyway. 
“greedy much?” you tease, tossing a look to the pouty white-haired boy watching with contempt. suguru shrugs. 
“hardly, just proving that he is not all you need.” he smiles up at you innocently, raking his touch over your thighs. unlike gojo, he knows exactly how to work you up and melt in his hands. gojo harrumphs in the corner of the couch. geto’s brow creeps up even though his head is laxly leaned back against the sofa. he watches you like he owns you, and you love the contrast between the two boys. you roll your eyes and lean down to kiss him anyway, and his lips tell you that the show is over. he gnashes his teeth against your lip, making you squeal and open up for him, wherein he promptly shoves his tongue in to smother yours out. your fingers card through the black tresses cascading over his shoulders and down his back as you hum into his mouth. he’s humming at your eagerness, letting his hand drift from the meaty parts of your hips over to the wet patch on your panties, grinning when you gasp. he works his deft fingers over your heat, and gojo makes a strangled noise as he watches you lewdly suck on geto’s tongue. you let your hips roll into his hand, his other one coming down on your rippling ass. you moan softly, prompting him to spank you again, much to satoru’s enjoyment.  
“s’fat, looks so pretty when you do that.” he compliments his friend, shoving out of his pants in anticipation of what comes next. his hand grabs around his proud length, pumping the curved shaft for minimal relief. geto hisses, feeling your hips move desperately towards your own release. he slaps your ass a third time, making you groan out and toss your head back, the picture of a perfect mess. 
“gonna cum already?” he tsked, though the smirk on his face betrays him. you nod, tugging on the roots of his hair hard enough to cause a little sting. satoru groans, tired of watching and desperate for any form of aid, but you’re too intoxicating to rush. “then cum.” he demands, stopping his touch. 
he knew he had pushed you far enough already, feeling your pelvis stutter against his hand. he watches you come undone, digging pearly white teeth into swollen lips as you dampen your panties another level. he doesn’t give you any type of reprieve before he’s pushing and tugging and arranging you for his preference on the cluttered couch. your brain is foggy already, clit throbbing from satoru’s craze and suguru’s abuse. he’s got you on all fours, face positioned over a huge cock nestled in trimmed white hair. 
“be easy on her, satoru.” geto warns as gojo gets to his knees, fisting your hair to get your attention. if you enjoyed suguru’s dominance then he would try some of his own. he directs your mouth over his leaky tip, and you stick out your tongue to encourage him. he nearly shudders just from that, and you whine at the feeling of geto sliding his hands down your ass and thighs with his breath fanning over your shiny hole. you’re gagging on satoru’s length hitting the back of your throat as suguru his fat tongue licks a teasingly slow stripe down your slit. you can’t help but pressed yourself further back into his muscle and force yourself down to the hilt of satoru. he groans loudly, giving you a taste of your own medicine with how he pulls on your hair. he guides you along him, amazed at how much better you feel than his hand. your velvet cheeks feel so wet and warm, it’s amazing he doesn’t cum down your throat instantly. meanwhile geto eats you from the back, sucking on your lips and nudging up against your bud in alternating motions, making your head cloud up with dizziness. that could be from the lack of air you’re able to get in around gojo’s cock stuffing your mouth, tears sliding down your flustered cheeks and drool spilling out around him. he’s whimpering, the sound of him coupled with squelching from both ends had suguru grunting into your folds, letting your sweet essence dribble down his chin. he’s grabbing handfuls of your ass, bruising and smacking the fat. your hands explore the lean expanse that is satoru’s body, muscular thighs keeping you steady and flexing abs making you clench around your other friend’s tongue. 
“gah, this—is amazing–fu-huck.” satoru whines, fisting your hair as his cock jumps at the sight of you. you moan your approval, pussy spasming for geto once again without warning, releasing on his face this time. your vision is already blurring, pleasure ripping through you all at once. he’s drunk on the taste of you, sitting upright on his knees as he scoops some of your cum out, coating his fingers with the slick. he may be the slightest bit possessive, but what’s his is gojo’s, and he had to let the other man taste you and get just as pussydrunk as he is. his other hand tugs you off his friend’s dick with a pop, pushing his hardness to the crack of your ass. he leans over you, body like a slab of concrete as he extends his hand to gojo. he leans up immediately, and you’re amazed at the sight of satoru sucking your juice off of suguru’s fingers, moaning slightly at your taste. geto smirks at him, settling back to his original spot. gojo grins widely as he wipes some residual tears from your face. 
“she’s so pretty, tell her suguru.” he sings, pushing some hair out of your face as the aforementioned wraps a beefy arm around your waist and pulls you to a sitting position against him. he’s so solid, you can feel how thick and long he is against your back, and it makes you tingle with need like you haven’t came twice already. he pulls you along as he repositions himself, sitting on the couch like it’s intended to be used for with you balanced on his abdomen. 
“oh of course, our pretty lady is the only girl i see.” suguru croons, pulling your hair into a ponytail just because he could. you look down at his cock, biting down on your lip at the sight. he was an inch or two shorter than gojo, but made up for it with his thickness. he had veins running along the shaft much like his muscular arms, and a dark tip growing impatient. they were perfect, you knew they would please you in different ways, but you had to have them both. 
when satoru gets to his feet and stands in front of you, pale fingers stroking his pretty cock, you knew that was their plan. 
geto snakes his hands to your thighs, prying them apart with little resistance from you. he lifts you with this grip, lowering you down all at once on him. he chuckles when you hiss and squirm at the stretch, feeling like a hot knife just gutted you. suguru continues sinking his hips into the cushions below and slamming them back up into you, locking eyes with his best friend eagerly awaiting his turn. you were a whimpering mess, falling back against the man railing you and leaving him responsible for holding you upright as your head finds home on his shoulder. 
“if i go easy on you now, you won’t be able to fit us.” suguru explains with a labored breath, your walls so tight he didn’t know if you’d be able to take them anyhow—but he’d be damned if he didn’t try. you nod your understanding, moving your hips to help his strokes hit even deeper. you already feel so full, you can’t imagine what it’s gonna be like when satoru tries to push in. “so fucking wet for your best friends, you’ll take us, won’t you?” 
you nod vigorously. it feels like you’re floating, every snap of suguru’s hips slammed his cock impossibly deeper. you knew your little act of control would only last so long, but it worked beautifully. if not for you, they’d probably be jacking off to you for the foreseeable future. 
“say it, wanna hear it from our girl’s mouth.” he coos, the tone of his voice so contradictory to what he actually says. it makes your pussy squeeze him anyway. 
“wanna take my best friend’s cocks.” you babble, feeling satoru’s hands on your waist again. 
“and what else?” suguru groans, almost irritated that your pussy fucked this good and you’ve had the nerve to keep it to yourself all this time. his hand closes around your throat this time, trusting satoru to keep you from falling over. you were so pliable and it was such a treat to hear you talk like this. 
“and i’m soaking wet for you both, god–stop teasin’.” you whine, batting your eyes at satoru. he’s sympathetic to your cause, wanting nothing more than to shove his rod deep in you and wonder who makes you feel better, not keen to wait for orders anymore, eager to earn your praise. suguru has your legs spread open perfectly; so while geto snickers from your answer, gojo steps forward and shoves his cock over his best friend’s and into your choking cunt. the feeling takes even suguru aback as you cry out from the stretch. It’s impossible, it’s too much, you feel like they’ll break you in half if they start to move, but the burning subsides, your fingers digging at gojo’s chest when suguru starts to move. 
all three of you moan. it’s too good not to, your cunt locking the men against each other, rubbing against your silken walls and the bumpy texture of the other’s ridges was the best way to fuck, they found out. suguru is slow, and prompts gojo to go even slower, feeling you loosen up as the pressure of them in your gut only makes you delirious. you’re so loud, nasty moans and curses coming from your lips as their pace increases, the two men locked in competition to make you and even the other cum first. satoru leans in, pressing his rock hard abdomen against you and deepening his angle. he has to balance himself by bracing his hand on suguru’s other shoulder, both of you close enough to kiss. this was how it was always meant to be, the three of you. he gives you a sloppy kiss, his free hand cupping your cheek to tell you how much this means to him. geto’s caught up in the moment, he tells himself, but everything feels so clear. they were never in competition—you needed them both, and he needed you both, and satoru needed the two of you both. then he feels it, a sloppy kiss meant for him, and he hums in realization. it wasn’t much different from kissing you, though satoru certainly needed the practice. you moan lewdly, the sounds of your cunt being stuffed and their grunts and groans of pleasure provide the soundtrack as they work in tandem to drive you crazy. 
“g’na–ngh–cum boys, ohhh~” you cry, legs starting to shake in suguru’s grip. they break their kiss to watch you jerk and jump, fucking into you as deep as their hips will allow. Satoru presses his fingers to your clit, hoping to increase your cute little spasms, but what you do instead is even sexier. you push at his shoulders, a clear liquid gushing and spraying over his abdomen and dripping down your cunt to cover suguru’s balls, leaving them both gaping in amazement. 
“that’s a good fucking girl, shit–” suguru mumbles, watching satoru’s face scrunch up in overwhelming pleasure. he doesn’t warn you, holding your hips down to receive all of his cum, the hot feeling making you writhe and moan in his lap to send satoru spurting too. it’s so much, the burning warmth in your gut, their seed mixing together inside of you and gushing out around them both, making such a mess you’re almost embarrassed. satoru slumps forward to kiss you all over, mumbling out thanks for letting them destroy you like this as he lifts you off of suguru, cuddling up with you—mess be damned. you’re panting, sensitive, and dripping but you can’t stop grinning at your success. suguru rolls his eyes at satoru’s childishness, but it really just amuses him. he’d rather you have company as he cleans up the messes anyway, cleaning you and even satoru up before himself. satoru spoons you from behind and suguru shoves himself on the couch to hold you the other way, content at his display of power over the two strongest sorcerers in the room. everyone settles their breathing and into a lull of peace, the only sound in the room was the forgotten movie on the flatscreen, until. 
“hey—i didn’t get to eat her outtttttt.” gojo whines, squeezing your body. you laugh, expecting geto to do the same, but he entertains this argument. 
“you got your dick sucked—i didn’t get that—”
“we have plenty of time to even the score, shut up and let me sleep before i use my technique to un-fuck you.” you giggle. 
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fcthots · 6 months
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Heyy! i hope you're having a wonderful day today let's start with that! <3 Soo I know many people find the Jason Todd friends with benefits au hot but personally...I CAN'T. My softy self will cry of jealousy so hard because of the no strings attached thingy. I couldn’t help imagine reader and Jason in that situation (hope this is understandable its my first ask and im still working on my english!) Love your writings and please don't feel pressured to write if you're not feeling up to it!
no bc i have been thinking about this and IEDJFHNEIJF i have opinions. There is only ONE (1) correct way to do fwb w jason and it is ANGST.
You're both hopelessly in love with each other. You both know it, but you can't be everything you want to be. You can't have the one thing you want most, but this will just have to be enough.
His eyes always linger on you. No matter what you're doing. It's like he gets drunk on just watching you move. He'll sit on your couch after he swore he'd stop coming over. He watches you wash dishes and wipe down the counters. He twitches every time you move as if he wants to stop you, as if he wants to do it for or with you, anything for you to not do it by yourself, but he doesn't get up, only watches. Watches you like you're a deity and he is your most devout follower. Watches you with so much adoration that you swear he's in love with you, but he'll be gone before you wake up, and you'll fall asleep to him saying "we can't do this again," but he'll come back. He'd come back in a hurricane, tornado, earthquake, anything to see your face. You swear he's in love with you, but then he'll say he doesn't want to see you again, even if you know he'll come back. You tell yourself that wanting and needing are different things. He doesn't want to need you. You try and tell yourself he loves you, but he makes sure to tell you he doesn't.
You take him back every time. You take him back like he didn't leave you in the middle of the night. Take him back like he didn't say that it was the last time. You take him back like you actually want him. He'll let himself believe it, because he wants you so bad, but he can never let you know that. He needs you like a drowning man needs air, but he cannot have you. He cannot keep you, but how is he supposed to tell you that? Sometimes when he slips in through your window soaked with rainwater and you wrap his towel snug around his shoulders and run your fingers through his hair, and he swears you love him too, but it's better if you don't so he lets himself believe it. He lets himself believe you don't love him the way he loves you, so he can pretend he isn't killing you when he leaves before dawn. He knows he has to leave. He has to keep you safe. Safe from the world. Safe from him. He'll only break your heart if you let him keep it, but he breaks it every time he puts it down to leave.
He's in love with you, but protecting you comes first even if it only hurts you both more. You will take anything he'll give you. You undo each other. You lay yourselves bare for only the other person to see. It only hurts you, but you can't stop. You can't stop because it's too much, but not enough. It is all you have and ruining what you have. You hate each other for it. You love each other. You scream his name every night. Sometimes he draws it out of you, and other nights you scream it into the sky with tears in your eyes. You will never forgive each other. There is nothing to forgive. The poison tastes sweet when it comes from your lover's hand.
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hopesangelsprite · 6 months
Text
Your Touch
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Summary: A thought that turned into me writing at nearly 1:00 am 💀
Warnings: language, fingering, biting (sexually and not sexually at the same time-), groping, grinding if you squint, manipulation (this is Illumi we're talking about... bffr)
There are many, many things we don't know about Illumi Zoldyck. For example his birthday, the full extent of his power, his total body count, etc. But we can safely say that Illumi Zoldyck is one touch starved mf 💀.
We know that he didn't have the best upbringing or most affectionate parents, so we can safely assume that the only reason he doesn't have to Google what a hug is is because of his expensive ass education and the things he's seen on television. So, imagine his shock when his wife is one of the most affectionate people on the planet.
At first he's appalled and thoroughly considers getting an immediate divorce. Then, ever so slowly, that insanely thick layer of ice on his heart begins to thaw. Those hugs he used to blatantly reject? He welcomes them albeit stiffly. If you ask him how he's feeling now, he's less likely to release bloodlust with the intent to kill you. He even finds himself seeking situations that naturally warrant your love and affection being directed solely toward him.
And just like he usually does, Illumi becomes obsessed. Forget about sleeping on your own ever again. Night after night, his cold body is either completely on top of yours or pressed firmly against your backside. When he's on top of you, settle in for the night and kiss bathroom trips goodbye because he's not moving until sunrise. When he's spooning you, both his hands station themselves in two spots: one on your chest, the other between your thighs on your crotch.
The amount of times you've fallen asleep breathless because his hands have a mind of their own is insane. The amount of times you've tried to fall asleep but couldn't because Illumi wanted to see you cum on his fingers is even crazier. And he swears he wasn't even thinking about it. You could be overstimulated and crying before he pauses in the middle of you coming. "My bad, kinda spaced out a little there.", he whispers in a voice so even it's almost believable, "I suppose I should reward you for being so patient with me, right?". Then he's back to abusing your holes. Even though you might be missing sleep, Illumi's never slept better.
When he's not terrorizing you're sensitive spots in the night, he makes sure that no matter where you are that he's got his hands somewhere on you. In a car heading somewhere? His hand's on your thigh, kneading it "absentmindedly". At a party for reconnaissance or a hit? His hands only leave your hips when absolutely necessary. Relaxing while he's in the room? Be prepared to be moved from your spot onto his lap with a quickness. If you're already in comfy spot, he won't hesitate to climb into your lap instead.
Either way his teeth will find your skin shortly afterward. This is another thing he discovered that brought him comfort. There's nothing like coming home from a long day of murder and espionage to mark you're pretty little wife up out of pure, twisted love. Bonus points if you squirm a bit while he's marking a path across your throat. Bonus bonus points if you bite him back, now you've got him started. Say you don't encourage his not so innocent behavior, he'll relax and tell you all that's been on his mind recently. It's a perfect time to bond in more ways than one.
All of those things are good and all, but his absolute favorite way of showing his affection is practically glueing his hips to your ass whenever your bent over. Say you drop a utensil while you're in the kitchen or need to grab something from under a cabinet. No matter how far away in the house he is, within seconds his big hand is on the small of your back and his crotch is nestled perfectly against your ass.
Then, to make things even eerier, he'll say shit like "My my, that was a hard fall... you should be more careful next time." or "What have I told you about putting your ass in the air without me around, someone could take advantage of you. Now bend a little lower for me.". He's such a loving husband that he makes sure to punctuate each sentence with a warning thrust or a hearty slap.
Illumi Zoldyck may be touch starved, but he's slowly making up for lost time every step of the way.
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ghouljams · 6 months
Note
Price comes off as the type of husband who no matter if it's kid number 1 or kid number 4 he's always overprepared. He'll phone in shit for himself, but his family? Hell no 110% for them always. He's spending the weeks leading up to child birth getting your post op care kit put together, even making 4 or 6 weeks worth of padsicles (frozen aloë vera soaked pads). Like you swear he's nesting worse then you are.
You're not worried because you have John he's already written down what you want for your birth and you can bet your ass he's advocating for you especially when a nurse gets a bit too pushy about things he knew you didn't want. He might've even hired a Doula who could talk through the things he doesn't understand.
If you had to have a c section he was already prepared for that making sure the fridge is packed with ice packs and calling for extra hands to help (with the house and extra chores, like farm work. he'll take care of the wife and babe) he'll be by your side for the months it takes to recover. This man will make sure that the postpartum care he gives you is just as good as the prenatal care. He is up with the babe at night even if you're breastfeeding getting you back to sleep quickly while he just gently rocks baby Price to sleep make sure they're happy before he'll crawl back into bed with you.
-Hot Mess Rambler
(He just comes off as a guy who wants to make sure bad labor/recovery isn't the reason you don't have more kids especially if you wanted a big family)
God, you're so right. Price is a family man, and I firmly believe that. There's a universe where Price leaves the service after Goose is born, and she ends up with 4 extra siblings.
There's a lovely little pocket universe where Price is only home long enough to be there for the birth of his baby girl before he's deployed and he can't handle it. He can't handle not being there for you, wondering if you're handling the post-partum well, if the baby is alright, if you have the support you need. It kills him not being able to call you, not being able to see you. He misses so much, and it makes the military feel hollow. He thought this was what he wanted, the job he wanted, but not if it means missing the chance to be a father.
When he gets home his baby is so much bigger, she's eating baby food, she's smiling and grabbing for things. And you tell him it's alright, that he didn't miss the important things, didn't miss any of the firsts, but you have bags under your eyes. You're quieter, the house is messy, there's take away in the fridge. It's not how it should be, you're not taken care of like you should be. So he doesn't renew his contract. He leaves and he doesn't look back. You're in medical school, you're stressed enough. He stays home with the baby, and looks after things while you get back on your feet.
It's not the life he thought he'd have, but it's better in all the right ways. He's there for his baby's first steps, for her first word. He's there when you hold up a second positive pregnancy test and tearfully tell him you don't know if you can do it again. He reads every book, he talks to every expert, he prepares for everything, but he can never handle your tears or his own short comings. He can only promise that this time will be different, and that he truly isn't going anywhere ever again.
So you decide to have another baby, and Price makes up for everything he missed. He nests more than you do, he keeps Goose entertained, he takes over your prenatal care, he preps for the postnatal stuff. You have your baby with the utmost certainty that nothing will go wrong, and that even if something does at least Price will be there to fix it. You graduate medical school with a husband and two babies in the audience. Your little flat feels smaller with four people in it. Price suggests looking for residencies near your parents for the extra help, and you can't think of any reason not to.
So you move back to Texas. You wrangle a toddler and a baby onto a plane, you ship all your meager belongings, and you find yourself back on the farm with a lucrative position at the nearest hospital. And Price finds himself, once again, in a life he never imagined for himself. He discovers his toddler has an affinity for horses, he finds out his baby tries to eat worms, he realizes he wants a million more of these little things when their laughter fills the big old farmhouse. He realizes there's something special to coming in from a long day on the farm and seeing you passed out on the couch with two little girls cuddled against your chest.
He never misses the military. At least never more than he missed you in those months away. He goes to dance recitals, and 4H shows. He teaches a gaggle of kids how to shoot, how to ride a horse, how to rope cattle. He's never misses anything, he's never not there. He picks up five little Prices from soccer practice and realizes he's never been happier than he is sitting outside the hospital with your pack, waiting for the end of your shift.
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lordofdestructionm · 18 days
Text
Fun Vikdecai scenario for you
and by "fun" I mean pure angst
After the events of the Pilot its not hard to imagine Ivy giving Viktor more details about the trio''s "successful" rum run and their encounter with Marigold. Whether to brag or because Viktor wants to know exactly how much danger she was in.
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She might mention the moment when she looked over her shoulder and it looked like Mordecai had his gun aimed right at her, and maybe she was seeing things, but she could swear it looked like he had the shot but lowered the gun
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Viktor pauses for a moment but casually dismisses the idea. Mordecai is a traitor and backstabber etc. Shot his partner of over six years in the knee and went to work for their biggest rivals just after Atlas died and the grass started looking greener on the Marigold side.
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Plus Ivy still has that wide eyed optimism about her, so of course she is going to read kinder intentions into what could have been a simple matter of the car being too far away or the gun jamming etc.
He doesn't think too much about it after that. Eventually, after recovering just about enough from his injury from the pig farmer attack, Viktor insists to Mitzi that he go with the two crazy noodle armed cousins instead of Ivy.
Mitzi is reluctant but knows when Viktor isn't going to budge, and so she agrees on condition that he not try and throttle Rocky or Ivy's boyfriend while on the job.
The terms are accepted.
Begrudgingly.
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But the inevitable happens, and of course, they have a run-in with Marigold.
This is a nightmare for Mordecai.
This is exactly what wounding Viktor's knee was supposed to prevent. He can't let the Savoys go after Viktor, but even if he manages to get them to focus on the two crazy amateurs, Mordecai won't be able to get away with just wounding him and then leaving him be like the kneecapping incident, because the Savoys will want to finish the job, and what reason could he give them for refusing?
Killing Viktor is clearly not an option. He couldn't do it to Ivy and there is no way he can do it now. Betraying his trust, the years of always having each others backs, and the unlikely bond they shared when he left Lackadaisy, had been hard enough. However much he told himself it was "for his own good".
Now either Viktor or his invesitgation into Atlas's death are doomed. Likely both.
He has to try and force Viktor to retreat. He fires warning shots close enough for Viktor to feel the bullets fly past him but just miss his large frame.
Viktor knows how deadly Mordecai is at range and considering what limited weapons Viktor is working with surely the stubborn and still visibly injured and slower moving Ox for once will do the sensible thing!?
But there's a problem with that strategy. Viktor knows Mordecai. More specifically, he knows how well he shoots. He has seen him hit much less tall and broad targets in much more difficult circumstances without breaking a sweat, but here he is missing multiple shots? That's when what Ivy said months before comes back to him.
He knows Mordecai is missing those shots on purpose.
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What the hell happens now?
Mordecai can't retreat but has no idea what to do either with Viktor clearly not backing off, while Viktor is not only too stubborn to do so but now knows Mordecai is trying not to shoot him. Does he take the opportunity to confront him? Get out from behind any cover and just start walking with as strong and determined a pace as his bad knees will allow? Does he want to pull Mordecai's head off his body, get payback for his knee, demand an explanation why someone he considered a friend betrayed him?
All the while, Mordecai is getting more and more panicked with every heavy step.
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burstinn · 6 months
Note
Hello could I request some cod characters (dealer's choice) being protective of their s/o who is being sent threatening messages from an abusive ex?
Horangi x Male/GN Reader
Abusive Ex yoooo! And bbg Horangi
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Warnings/notes:
Threatening messages (nothing bad just mild), Ex is girl (because usually the abusive ex is always male from what I read.. So I just thought why not female), Some swearing, Lazy writing, no proofreading.
"I'm going to fucking kill you"
"Please take me back"
"I know where you live, Your new boyfriend isn't even that good"
"I don't understand why you left me.. "
"I don't understand why you decided to change. Is this new relationship only to get back at me"
... On and on and on..
These fucking messages. She got your new number.
No matter how hard you blocked your ex, hell even contacting the police. Of course who are no help, Never taking you seriously.
She just won't stop leaving you alone.
"Sweetheart, what's up? You look.. Well you look like you just got a text from your ex"
Horangi.. Your new boyfriend chuckled as he said that, sitting across from you in the sofa. Setting down his phone to look at you curiously.
You don't answer, shifting your frowning face and looking at Horangi raising an eyebrow.
"Mhm.. What a coincidence"
Oh.. Horangi's joking facade immediately stopped. His smile dropping to a frown, you could already see veins growing in his face.
"I thought you blocked her?"
"I did"
"... She found your number again?"
You nod and before you can even start complaining about her again. Horangi snatches your phone from your hands, scrolling through the recently new messages you just got.
"God.. Fucking-- What is her problem"
You hear Horangi hiss through his teeth. His grip on your phone tightening, threatening to break it if he continues scrolling through the messages
"Hey, Hey it's.. Okay.. Don't break my phone.."
You say worriedly moving over in front of Horangi to grab your phone away from him gently. Which he thankfully does give it back to you
"Sorry.. Sorry it's just-"
Horangi trails off grabbing the back of your head and pushing your head to lay on his chest, pulling you down to the sofa to lay with him. He starts caressing your head as he looks off to the side, His head angrily stewing off probably different ways to ruin your ex.
You sigh wrapping your arms around Horangi's back fixing yourself so you lay now on Horangi's shoulder.
"It's fine, I swear"
"You don't have to keep saying that.."
Horangi cuts you off, wrapping himself around you protectively.
"I'm sorry" he sighs, "I just wanna protect you, You know I would never treat you like that right?"
He says comfortingly, kissing your forehead.
"I know you won't.."
You respond, reciprocating the kiss. On the lips this time.
___________________________________
You would stay like this for a while, you on top of Horangi as he protectively hugs you close to him. It's all very comforting, until you eventually close your eyes.
You're asleep.
Good.
Horangi rubs your head, staring up at the ceiling. When he feels you're breathing slow.
He grabs your phone, typing in your phone password. He knows.. You both trust each other. And that's a good thing.
He's doing this just to protect you
Click through your messages. Click Unknown number, Her. Her and her fucking annoying messages. When was she gonna get a life.
Well that's what Horangi's gonna teach her, sadly he won't kill anyone today. But threatening is hopefully enough to get it through her thick skull. Lest, she wants to see a video of you getting railed by him.
Just to keep you safe. It's all for you. His beautiful, perfect Boyfriend.
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l0vem41l · 4 months
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heart for brains.
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「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, hurt/comfort-esque but not really, fluff (?) sensitive reader who loooves being tough, a few pet names are used (darling, lovely—) but sparingly because i can never take things seriously 」
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「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic </3 」
↳ ft. asra alnazar, julian devorak, lucio morgasson, muriel of the kokhuri, nadia satrinava, portia devorak
author's note: less of the “One Bad Thing happened and it fucking destroyed me” type of sensitive even though that’s so real and valid and more of the "big emotions are slowly killing me always" type. sorry if they're slightly ooc! i'm playing the game again,,,, eventually :> need to get their dialogue right AWIOFJWRIHFW (┬┬﹏┬┬) more lighthearted in lucio’s part (cant stand this bitch!!!!! /affectionate), and unfortunately nadia’s and portia’s are criminally short (;′⌒`)........ i love them i just haven’t played their routes also also!!!! used some borders from @cafekitsune in this!! lmk if it makes things easier to read cuz i might keep it! (☆-v-)
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" life's hard when you're soft. "
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▸ ASRA has grown the most familiar with your routine. you’re not quite fragile, as he’s come to discover— just that you tend to swallow your emotions down with a smile, only for them to rise back up at the slightest inconvenience. in a few moments— as predicted— the tears stinging in your eyes finally begin slipping.
he gently cups your face, even as you attempt to hide away and avert your gaze, drying your cheeks with his fingers. you swear to him, through mumbles and sobs that you’re trying to toughen up— you’re really trying— while insisting there’s no reason for you to be upset about your little predicament while you choke back the sob rising in your throat. they know you too well for those feeble attempts to convince them.
“shhh… it’s alright. it’s alright.” asra’s voice is understanding. patient. they wouldn’t care if you were crying over the smallest matter in the universe right now. all their focus is on calming you down.
while asra believes and insists that your capacity for strong emotions is a blessing and not a curse like you tend to think, he does wish that your tenderness would not be so abused by the world around you. at the end of the day, he reminds you that you’ve got his love— that he’ll always be there to wipe your tears away— but will always secretly wonder to himself about why you continue to be so recklessly kind.
even so, you’re never to blame for your big heart in their eyes. and slowly, everything they do to make the world a better place is in hope that one day, the world will be sweeter to you.
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▸ JULIAN does quietly and internally freak out when he first sees you cry— not because he doesn’t know what to do, but rather because he hadn’t expected seeing you, out of all people, like this. you— the person who always seemed to find something to be happy about instead of dwelling on your misery. you— who frequently brushed off inconveniences and upsetting circumstances with little to no thought. you— who always bounced back, always saw it through.
oh, but he could never be upset with you for crying. not at all.
he knows he can’t just leave you sobbing your eyes out. so, with the sensibility that he has, he gently guides you to a quiet place for you and allows you to lean against him. he’ll attempt to talk you through it, even if you don’t feel like speaking, hoping that the one-sided conversation of his ramblings will at least distract you, if not soothe you.
your head to his chest, he takes one of your hands in his, while the other gently grips your hip. tells you how brave and strong you are— even if you don’t seem particularly inclined to believe him at the moment, shooting a small glare at him through watery eyes as he says these things.
“i wasn’t patronizing you,” he says, eyebrows raising slightly as your shoulders tense, “i mean it.”
you take a deep breath, gauging the sincerity of his words, before finally relaxing.
“‘m sorry… it’s stupid— i know it is. you shouldn’t have to do this.” you sniffle.
for a moment, julian only shakes his head in response, his thumb caressing the top of your hand as he squeezes it. “but darling, i want to.”
while he’s not as attuned with your emotions as asra, julian is good at getting you to calm down. will definitely do a few breathing exercises with you to help you ground yourself, in between his affirmations and reassurances.
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▸ is it really all that surprising that LUCIO is completely clueless? in his eyes, everything was going completely fine for you two seconds ago— or so it seemed. here he was, just coming by to check on you, only to watch you crumple into yourself, hiding your face in your hands as you muttered a half-hearted “go away.”
he’s too stubborn to listen to that. besides, even he knows he’d be a massive asshole if he just left you like this. instead, lucio sits right next to you, shoulder pressed up to yours, and asks about what happened. perhaps pester is a better word.
while not intentionally rude, he’s slightly dismissive of the situation at first, wondering why in the world something so trivial would matter so much to you. it takes a second, but lucio backpedals on this immediately when he realizes you're not calming down, you're getting worse. your breathing grows quicker and more tears spill— you don’t even reply to him. oopsies. silent comfort it is.
he’s not completely useless. instead of using words, he’ll put an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side, allowing you to cry it out for as long as you need. part of you wants to question when he gained the capacity to shut up— but you don’t feel the need to be particularly snarky at the moment. he’s trying his best to be sweet to you.
will be more attentive for the days after, assuring you that you needn’t give into the urge to “toughen up” when he’s around.
“stay soft, i can fight.” he grins, giving you a wink that makes you roll your eyes at him almost instinctively.
still, the tiny laugh that escapes your lips ends up betraying any sort of exasperation you meant to convey as you playfully hit his bicep as you tell him to quit. was his tone light hearted? yes. was he kidding? of course not. 
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▸ there’s a moment where your lip quivers and your eyes water up that makes MURIEL feel like he’s looking into a reflection of himself somehow. his heart sinks completely at the sight of you breaking down, as he searches for the right thing to say.
he’s flooded with relief when you make an attempt to speak first, even if it’s just you stumbling over your words to lie directly to his face.
you take in a shaky breath, awkwardly shrinking yourself away by crossing your arms. “it’s fine, it doesn’t matter—”
“it matters to me.” he replies softly.
muriel is much better at listening than he is at speaking in these situations, so he allows you to vent all you need as you cry. you feel these emotions so deeply, so strongly— he wonders how you managed for so long concealing these feelings.
“yeah… i get it.” he murmurs, nodding when you rant. to his horror, the tone comes out much more blunt than intended— almost sarcastic— but you know that he understands the minute you look into his eyes. he’s nothing but honest.
after a moment of silence, he asks what you need. you don’t verbalize, instead opting for awkwardly gesture with open arms, half expecting him to hesitate at your request. instead, much to your surprise and his he simply brings you close and sets you on his lap. holding you in his arms like he’s afraid you might break if he tightens the embrace any further, muriel hugs you like you’re the most precious thing in the universe.
leans more on acts of service as a form of comfort as well. will bring you water, blankets— will even brave the market to buy you your favorite snack. anything for you.
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▸ NADIA’s first attempt is to deal with it logically. initially, she asks you a lot of questions, asks what she can do better— but ceases the minute you struggle to respond, only shaking your head while the words incoherently fall from your lips between sobs.
she sighs, realizing her short-comings. now isn’t the time for problem solving. you need comfort. “forgive me, lovely. i didn’t mean to upset you further.”
LUCIO TAKE FUCKING NOTES.
her embrace is loving. it almost feels like she’s trying to shield you from the world and it’s harshness towards you. nadia plants a kiss to your temple before allowing you to rest your head on her shoulder. as you stay in her arms, she rubs your back, promising that everything will be alright.
she’ll make sure of it too. will 100% throw a sharp glare at anyone who accidentally intrudes on this moment.
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▸ it’s almost instinctual, the way PORTIA responds. you haven’t said a thing, yet she notes the way your hands begin trembling, eyes brimming with tears. she immediately gets protective, asking which idiot made you feel so upset with full intention to beat their ass if she ever crossed paths with them— but questions no further when you don’t reply.
physically affectionate as ever, with your permission, portia kisses your tears away, pressing her lips to your face sweetly as she cradles it in her hands.
will not baby you for being sensitive, but will grow more defensive of you. of course she knows you can handle yourself like you keep on reminding, but you’ve been doing it for so long. too long. shows you that she’s right there to support you no matter what, always on your side.
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" you've got our love "
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— reblogs always appreciated!
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164 notes · View notes
inbloomwriting · 11 months
Text
Everything to me - Chapter 1
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Chapter one - Apple seed
Story Masterlist
Plot: Jamie Tartt is a lot of things: professional footballer, the island's top scorer .... sexually, extremly handsome. But one thing he never saw himself as was a dad. Too bad he has to deal with the consequences of his own actions. This fic follows reader and Jamie as they navigate life and turn from practially strangers to parents. Pairing: Jaime Tartt x female reader Warnings: Pregnancy, swearing, mentions of food and alcohol, slight mention of sexual intimacy (nothing graphic), strained/toxic parental relationship Notes: 5.8k words. I do not have a set uploading schedule. Please bear with me as I work on this story. I know hardly anything about pregnancy, all my information comes from google. Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please
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"You never understood you're everything to me I just hope you know, the future in your heart Is just about to start"
The universe must be mocking her, (Y/N) is sure of that. This is all one big elaborate joke and any minute now Ashton Kutcher is gonna jump out from behind some bushes and tell her that she has been punkd. 
She had a plan, all neatly laid out and organized. Blue ink on white paper in a fancy leather-bound notebook. Like a professional adult would do it who has their life all figured out. 
Renovate the store and get it back up and running
Sell it for profit 
Pay back Mum and get the fuck away from everyone and everything that has ever made her feel unworthy
That was the plan and she was so fucking determined to stick to it for once in her life. So this must be a prank. This must all be one big misunderstanding.
But it’s not a prank, is it? It’s the consequences of her own damn actions.
Her heart is racing as she climbs the stairs up towards Rebecca Welton’s office. Her legs and feet are heavy, like concrete. Why is being honest with your friends so damn hard? 
It’s not just any friend either. It’s Rebecca. Rebecca who has always been in her life ever since (Y/N) was just a kid. Rebecca who is the only person (Y/N) ever looked up to. Why is being honest with her so terrifying?
You know why! 
Yeah, (Y/N) knows why. Because she doesn’t know what she’ll do if Rebecca hates her for what happened. Of all the people in the world, she needs Rebecca on her side. 
As she lifts her hand and knocks on the door of the office, (Y/N) wonders if this is what death row inmates feel like. Knowing the end is inevitable and it’s all your own fault.
“Come in” 
Taking a deep breath, she opens the door and steps into the room. 3 pairs of eyes look back at her but really, the only ones that matter belong to the beautiful blonde sitting by the desk.
“(Y/N), Hi. What are you doing here? Did we have plans? I thought you went back — “
“Yeah I — no, we didn’t have plans.” 
It almost kills her, that smile that Rebecca sends her way. The one that’s so warm and loving and that’s been a constant in her life for most of her childhood and teenage years coming from Rebecca. Rebecca living in that lovely white house next door with the rose bushes and the big windows. Rebecca who taught her how to do the perfect eyeliner wing, who passed down her coolest leather jacket to her, who held her hair the first time she got wasted and threw up in those very rose bushes. Rebecca who was the older sister she never had. 
She loves that smile it used to bring so much comfort to her. Now it makes her want to die. The girl she used to be, deserved to be on the receiving end of that smile. She doubts she still deserves it.
“Can we—” (Y/N)’s eyes dart around the room towards Higgins, then towards the other man. He’s the American trainer, Ted. She’s talked to him once very briefly and he seems so — nice. Genuinely nice. Not for the sake of being perceived as a good person but because he just is. “— do you think we could talk privately?” 
There’s a flicker of concern in Rebecca’s eyes and (Y/N) hates that she put it there.
“Oh, of course. Ted, Leslie, would you excuse us?” 
Everything’s a blur. They leave and (Y/N) thinks Ted makes some kind of pun but she doesn’t really recognize anything but the racing of her heart and the sour feeling in her stomach. Oh, fuck.
Rebecca sits her down on the big couch by the window, the one that’s meant for personal talks, not business. She’s so nice. Oh, she's too nice.
“Are you dying?” 
“I — uh, no.”
“Okay, good.,” Rebecca says letting out a sigh of relief. “Now that that’s out of the way, can I offer you some tea?”
(Y/N) shakes her head.
“Coffee?” 
She repeats the motion
“Champagne?” Rebecca asks, a perfectly shaped eyebrow raised in question.
God, wouldn’t she kill for a glass of bubbly right now. 
“No, I’m good. Can you just come sit down, you’re making me nervous.” 
Not only does she sit down, Rebecca’s hand immediately finds (Y/N)’s, holding on warm and tight. It almost pulls an ironic scoff from (Y/N)’s lips. Mum doesn’t know but even if she did, she’d never offer this kind of comfort to her. She never did. So for a second, she lets herself relish in the affection. Just one second. 
“Okay, now out with it.” 
She’s rehearsed this conversation so many times in so many different ways. Like a school presentation. Meticulously planned. Even added in pauses for questions and shit like that.
All of that has vanished, her brain is empty, her tongue made of lead. 
“I uh — look um. Do you remember when your dad died?” 
Of all the ways she could’ve started this talk, this is probably the worst of them all. Who says things like that?
Rebecca seems a little taken aback for a moment before nodding her head and suppressing a slight smile, one brought on by the absurdity of the question, not by joy. “I do, yes. Hard to forget if I’m being honest.” 
“Yeah, I would know.” 
“Yeah.”
“So that night I was obviously very emotional because it reminded me of my dad and all of that bullshit.” Tears are already threatening to roll down her face, sitting on her waterline waiting for the right moment to strike. It’s impressive she still has any left to cry since that’s all she did the last few days.
“That’s understandable. Oh, please tell me you didn’t force yourself to come and relive all of your pain just because you felt like I expected you there? If I knew it was so hard on you I —” 
This, all of this, is twisting the knife so much deeper. Leave it to Rebecca to search for a fault of hers in all of (Y/N)’s mess.
“No, Rebecca, it's nothing like that. I — I fucked up. I let it all get to me and because I’m, well — me, I got a little tipsy. Went outside to get some air and there was this guy. God, Rebecca, he had the saddest eyes. I just felt this weird connection so I sat next to him. We talked and talked and then ended up going to a bar and then to my place and then to my bed and well yeah.” 
She giggles. Rebecca really has the audacity to giggle at that. In her defense, she tries to hold it in but it does slip out eventually. 
“It’s not funny.”
“Is this why you’re upset? You slept with someone at, no wait, after my father’s funeral. That’s okay.”
“There’s more.” 
"Oh, what is it? Was it a footballer?” 
At the lack of a vocal response, Rebecca connects the dots.
“Alright. That’s — that’s not so bad. I was seeing a 21-year-old footballer. I don’t see what’s making you so upset about this.” 
“I’m pregnant.” 
“Oh shit.” 
Getting Rebecca to swear was always something (Y/N) found a silly sense of pride in. Rebecca with her perfect hair and outfits and manners. It felt like something so alien to her and yet that was (Y/N)’s favorite version of Rebecca. The one that’s as messy as you and me even if it’s just for a second.
“Yeah, shit.” 
It’s the first time she said it out loud. Rebecca is the first person to know, except for (Y/N) herself and her gynecologist. Her mother doesn’t know. 
The father of the baby doesn’t know.
Just her and now Rebecca.
“And I don’t know what to do. This wasn’t the plan. Fuck — please don’t be mad.” 
“Why would I be mad? ” 
There is an infinite warmth in Rebecca’s eyes. A warmth she always longed for coming from her own mother but never received. A warmth that seems entirely misplaced right now. 
“I fucked your employee. I used your dad’s funeral to make the shittiest of all shit decisions and now I come here unloading all of this on you because I, once again, don’t know how to get myself out of the hole I dug.” 
Soft hands wrap around (Y/N)’s shoulder and pull her in. Rebecca smells like expensive perfume and hairspray. All comforting and familiar. It’s nice, (Y/N) thinks, that despite everything falling apart in and around her, there is at least one constant in her life. 
“Were you really afraid of telling me or are you just afraid?” 
She’s so smart and so observant, sometimes it’s infuriating. 
“I’m so scared, Rebecca.”
Life doesn’t ask if you’re ready. It doesn’t ease you into things, slow and gentle. There are no training wheels, no floaties. Life happens whether you’re prepared or not. It’s nice to know that there are arms wide open for you to fall into, a hand to pull you out of the roaring sea as you’re just about to drown.
“You can always unload on me, you know that right? That’s what family is for.” 
All the willpower to stay brave and collected and not cry, all that vanishes with Rebecca’s words. Family. They’re family. Maybe not by blood but definitely by fate. By choice. 
Mum would’ve told her to suck it up, to stop crying, and to face the consequences of her own actions. Would’ve probably had an “I knew this would happen” or an “I told you so” on the tip of her tongue. There is none of that with Rebecca. She just accepts the tears soaking through her, no doubt, expensive blouse and softly strokes (Y/N)’s head. 
For a long time, there are no words exchanged. Some moments ask for calmness not conversation. There’s something deeply therapeutic about crying on the shoulder of someone you deeply trust.
“Can I ask?” Rebecca inquires with a gentle voice just barely louder than a whisper.
She doesn’t have to elaborate. There are only so many questions people have after you told them you had a one-night stand and ended up pregnant. 
“You’re gonna hate the answer.” 
A laugh falls from Rebecca’s lips, her breath tickling the top of (Y/N)’s head. “Don’t tell me It’s Jamie.” 
“Okay, I won’t then.” 
“Oh, (Y/N).” 
Where there should be disappointment in her tone, there is understanding, there is slight amusement but above all, there is deep and honest care. 
“ Can you blame me? Look at him. He’s sculpted by the gods and something about that silly little accent does it for me. I hate to admit it, I truly do.” 
“Does he know?” 
(Y/N) shakes her head, guilt and fear coursing through her veins.
“I don’t even have his number. I know hardly anything about the guy other than that he’s a footballer, that his ego is huge, and that he likes to cuddle after sex.” 
Rebecca’s eyebrows rise in surprise. “Does he? Huh.”
“Yeah, it was really cute actually.” 
For a moment she almost gets lost in the memories of that night, however hazy they might be. Jamie was fun and to an extent he understood. And there’s nothing quite as sexy as a man who is just as sad and messed up as you. Is it healthy? Absolutely not but (Y/N) never claimed to have a particularly healthy view on anything. 
“He works here, you know. In this very building. You can just pop down and tell him.” 
The way Rebecca says it makes it sound so easy. Like it doesn’t come with a shit load of guilt and fear and embarrassment. 
“Wait, I didn’t even ask and I just realized that’s very presumptuous and maybe a little rude of me — do you even want to keep the baby?” 
That’s the big one. The question of all questions. It’s the second thought that came to her head when (Y/N) saw the two lines on that fateful plastic stick. The first one being “Oh fuck.” It’s the question her doctor asked. It’s in all of the leaflets and informational reading she’s been handed.
“I’ve never thought about it before. I mean sure I thought about some hypothetical future but those dreams always changed depending on my mood. Now I’m here and I need to make a choice and It’s — It’s terrifying.” 
“But?” 
“But I think I do want it. I think I want to be a — a mother.” 
It’s a word that feels strange on her tongue, bitter and sharp. Like biting down on your cheek and tasting blood. Mother was never the warm comfort of a home. It was the cold hand on her shoulder, the icy glance of disapproval. 
Maybe mother can be something else. Maybe she can turn it into something sweet.
“I’m just scared. This wasn’t the plan, not right now at least, and not like this. I’m scared of doing it alone.”
“What in the world does that mean? Alone?” 
“I don’t expect Jamie to step up. I’d appreciate it, of course. But he has a brilliant career and so much going for him. Getting me, a one-night-stand, pregnant could ruin so much for him. I don’t ever want that.” 
“No,” Rebecca says and cradles (Y/N)’s face between her warm hands “I mean, you’re not going to be alone. No matter what Jamie says. You have me. And I can guarantee you that there are at least 10 other people in this building right now who will also have your back. Whatever happens, I can promise you that you don’t have to do this alone. And don’t sell yourself short, you have a career too!” 
Maybe the universe isn’t mocking her after all. And maybe this isn’t a punishment either. Maybe this is just life pushing her into the deep end. Thank god she has people to help keep her afloat.
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(Y/N)’s eyes wander from the clock on the wall towards the door then back. Over and over again.
Every time the door opens and someone leaves the locker room, her heart speeds up. Maybe if she dies of a heart attack right here and now she won’t have to talk to Jamie. That sounds like the most reasonable reaction. Anyone would agree. Right? 
The boys all regard her with a sense of cautious familiarity. They know her face, know they’ve seen her before but can’t recall where much less put a name to her. 
Well, all of them but Sam. He greets her with that big signature smile of his, so full of joy and sunshine. Calls out her name and asks her about her day. Rebecca might have a point that there are more people here that care about her. Their conversation is brief but there is no doubt in her mind that if she were to call him any time of the day, Sam would drop everything and help her out. That’s just the kind of person he is. 
She wonders if that’s the kind of person Jamie is. 
Another glance at the clock. 2 minutes pass. The door opens once more.
Jamie is smiling when he steps into the hallway. His hair is wet, probably from the shower, and held back by that silly little headband of his. He’s wearing a ridiculously bright orange hoodie and obnoxious colorful sneakers. Everyone else would look absolutely ridiculous in this get-up. Jamie makes it work. It must be some kind of superpower. 
Or maybe he’s just so unfairly fit that it doesn’t matter what he’s wearing. Even naked he looks phenomenal.
Stop thinking about him naked, that’s what got you into this mess.
“Oh, hi!” 
He’s so nonchalant, so casual when his eyes meet her’s across the hall. And really, why wouldn’t he be? What they had was casual. A one-night thing, no strings attached. Just two slightly broken people finding solace in each other. That was all it was supposed to be at least.
(Y/N) feels the weight of the secret resting so heavy on her shoulders, she’s sure she’ll collapse underneath it any second now. 
“Jamie, hi. Uh — can we talk?” 
“Sure, ‘bout what? Are you pregnant or something?” 
He says it with a smile, not giving a single thought to the fact that his joke might be no joke at all but the honest to god truth.
(Y/N) on the other hand, feels like someone doused her in ice water, just poured it all over her. Her hands are clammy, breathing shallow, heart racing. Maybe she’ll get that heart attack after all.
When she doesn’t answer, doesn’t laugh, Jamie’s eyes grow wide in return. Though his reputation might make you believe otherwise, he’s quite quick in putting two and two together. At least in this situation. He doesn’t look happy, that much she expected, but he doesn’t look upset either. He just looks shocked. There is nothing but pure disbelief on his face. The cocky smirk has dropped, now his mouth is opening and closing trying to produce words as his head is trying to process the information he just figured out.
“Do you want to go discuss this somewhere more private?” 
Of all the places to tell someone they got you pregnant, the hallway at his workplace might not be the more desirable. 
A pale-faced Jamie nods his head, his eyes distant and glassy. She knows the feeling, has been there just a few days ago. That’s his whole life playing like a movie in his head right there, now with added scenes of a small child with his eyes. Oh god, she hopes the baby gets his eyes.
Jamie drags her into a small room off of the main hallway. Cubicle cupboards line the walls, filled with shoes and boxes. Orange and bright green and yellow. Every possible color of the rainbow, they have a pair of shoes to match in here. The smell though? The smell has her gagging. Sweat and cold cigarette smoke. It’s disgusting. 
“Oh god, Jamie. This is disgusting.” 
“It’s the boot room. ‘s where we keep the boots — and people come here to smoke.” 
“They come here to smoke? On purpose? Like they chose to spend time in here?” 
Jamie absentmindedly nods his head. He’s so pale-looking (Y/N) fears he might just pass out any minute now. 
“Jamie, are you okay? Do you want to sit down?” 
His eyes start to focus again, looking straight at her. He’s terrified and quite honestly, she can’t blame him. Confusion and fear are all she’s felt for the last few days. A bit of excitement too, sure. But mostly the first two.
“Yeah. No. I mean yes. I guess? No. I — fuck.” 
Nervously he combs his fingers through his damp hair as if to calm himself down. Is that something his parents did to him when he was a kid? A motion of comfort? There is so much she doesn’t know about this man. If he decides that he wants to stick around, can this ever work? Can you raise a child with someone you hardly know and not completely fuck them up? 
“Is it mine, then? Are you sure about that?”
“No, I just like going around scaring people into believing they got me pregnant. Yes, Jamie! I am 100% certain.” 
His hands fly up in defense “Jesus, sorry. I don’t know your sexual history. You had sex with me after a funeral, don’t know how much you get around, now do I?” 
She had expected him to ask if it’s his, hell anyone probably would, but there’s something about his tone that is just so off-putting. The accusation that swings along with his words. The judgment. As if he is in any place to talk.
“Oh get off your high horse, dickhead. We both made that decision after the funeral. Didn't hear you complain. And out of the two of us, It’s not me who fucked a girl in a hot tub on national television. Eurgh” 
“You alright?” 
“No, this room is making me gag. I assume this is bad under normal circumstances but this pregnancy situation has my sense of smell going through the roof. This is killing me.” 
“Well, why didn’t you say nothing?! We could’ve gone somewhere else.” 
“I just wanted to — eurgh— I just wanted to get this over with.” 
“Let me get you out of —” 
“No, let me just say this real quick and then I’m off.” 
She’s prepared this speech a million and one times in a million and one ways. It always worked out fine but then again, her audience was just her cat and the mirror. Having Jamie look at her, a mix of concern and shock still on his face, that’s a whole different story.
“I am having this baby and I would like for you to be a part of their life, but I accept if you say no. Just know that whatever you decide, that’s final. I can’t have you running off and then coming back in a few years regretting your decision and wanting to be a parent after all. And I most definitely will not allow you to say you’re in and then give up on the baby halfway through. I had a parent like that, I will not have my child go through the same thing. I don’t need your decision now just — make up your mind and make sure you’re 100% certain. Here uh— “
Trying to hold her breath so as to not breathe in any more of the foul smell, (Y/N) rummages through her purse before pulling out a small piece of paper.
“They don’t usually do ultrasounds that early but I made friends with the nurse as I was waiting and they allowed me to get one and see the baby. Don’t really see shit on here if I’m being honest but apparently that blob is our child.” 
Jamie takes the picture, his eyes moving between the image and back to her, down to her stomach then back to the picture. It’s like his head and his eyes are trying to cope with the fact that there is a real baby growing inside her. His baby.
“I just thought you might want to have this, if not just throw it away. I’m not trying to manipulate or guilt you into anything. Let me know when you’ve made a decision. You know where I live and Rebecca has my number just ask her for it — I gotta get out of here. Eurgh.” 
And while an overwhelmed Jamie sinks to the floor of the boot room, ultrasound picture clutched in one hand while the other nervously combs through his hair, (Y/N) throws up in the bin by the front door. 
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There are 3 things (Y/N) knows for certain. One of them is that Michelle Pfeiffer as Stephanie Zinone in Grease 2 is the coolest person in the world. The second one is that decaf coffee kinda sucks. And 3 is that whoever is knocking on her door at 9:15 tonight, disrupting her rewatch of Grease 2 better has a good reason to do so if they want to keep their head attached to their body.
Slowly she’s dragging herself towards the door. Today was exhaustion enough both physically and mentally, she really doesn’t need the stress of an unannounced visitor. Not when she’s dressed in an old, oversized Hardrock Cafe shirt, bike shorts, and those ridiculous yellow slippers she got on her last trip to Disney that look like Minnie Mouse’s shoes.
“I’m coming, Jesus — “ 
“I don’t know shit about babies.” 
Jamie looks different as he stands before her on her front steps, hair messy and flat against his head, wearing a big grey sweater. Gone is all the charming confidence and the mischievous smirks. He’s all sad eyes and shy smiles. He reminds (Y/N) of a sad, beaten puppy. She almost feels bad for him. Almost. That’s until the words that just fell from his lips really register in her mind.
“You could’ve just texted me you’re not interested. Didn’t have to come here, really.” 
“What? No, I am! “
“You just said —” 
“I said I don’t know shit about babies. Cause I don’t. But I’m not gonna run off.”
“You won’t?”
Jamie has never looked so genuine, so serious as in that moment and it sends a weird feeling through (Y/N). She didn’t have any expectations in him. You can’t really have those if you don’t even know the person. Sure, she hoped he would take interest in her and the baby but things truly could’ve gone either way. To hear him say that he wants to step up and be there, that’s a feeling she can’t really put into words.
“Can we uh — can I come in? Your neighbor is staring at me.” 
(Y/N) opens the door to let Jamie pass before leaning outside and facing the house next door. Sure enough, old Mrs. Hartley is standing by her window, eyes trained on (Y/N)’s front door. Jesus fucking Christ, do these people not have their own lives? 
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The small pink couch looks even smaller with Jamie’s broad frame perched in the corner. He’s holding onto the fluffy white pillow as if he needs some kind of buoy to keep him afloat.
“Do you want tea or something?” 
“Do you have beer?” 
She only raises an eyebrow in response and points to her stomach. 
“Right. Pregnant. Forgot about that for a second, sorry. “
Oh, the privilege of getting to forget about that. 
“I have water, ginger ale, and apple juice.” 
Jamie screws his face in repulsion. If there is one thing she’s learned about Jamie Tartt in the limited time they’ve spent together, it’s that his emotions are always so clearly reflected on his face. She’s not sure he knows exactly how expressive he really is.
“I’m good. Here, I actually brought you some stuff.” 
As she sits down on the couch next to him, Jamie holds out a Tesco bag to her filled to the brim with stuff. 
“What’s all this?” 
He looks bashful, almost shy as he shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. 
“Just some stuff for your nausea. Google said anything ginger helps so I got these lollies. Also sour candy and crackers. Not sure if it works but I felt so bad seeing you earlier and knowing it's kinda my fault, innit?."
It's such a sweet sentiment that (Y/N) can feel the tears gathering on her waterline. Maybe Jamie is the kind of person she can call when in need. Maybe he can become that person.
"That's very sweet Jamie, oh there's more."
It's a small box with two even smaller socks, so tiny it almost seems impossible that a human being can have such small feet. 
"Saw them and couldn't stop thinking about how cute they were and then I couldn’t stop imagining our baby being so tiny and wearing them and, yeah.” 
“They’re adorable, Jamie. Thank you.” 
His words wrap around her heart like vines. Taking root. Blooming. 
“Our baby”. The thought of having a baby is still so foreign to her. Her own baby, her child. Hearing Jamie call it theirs sends a flutter of feelings through her. Their baby. Part her and part Jamie.
“So what I meant earlier is that I don’t know shit about babies. None of my friends have babies, I have no siblings and all my cousins are around my age so I never really had experience with babies. I know they’re cute and I know they poop a lot. “
“They are pretty cute.”
“Yeah, and our baby?” he says and motions between the two of them “‘s gonna be the cutest fucking baby of all time. It’s genetics.”
The matter-of-fact tone in which he says it pulls a laugh from (Y/N). He does have a point though.
“I am not going to lie, I'm extremely unprepared for this. For being a — a dad.” 
There’s a bitterness there, a heaviness. Maybe Dad is as sharp and as cutting a concept to Jamie as Mum is to (Y/N). 
“Don’t have a dad. Well, I do but he’s right asshole, isn’t he. So I got no idea how to be good at this, had no one to show me. I’ll try though. I want to be different. I need to be. Promised myself when I was a kid that I was not going to be like him, ever.”
“I understand that, trust me Jamie I really do. But I need you to be sure that you want that. I don’t want you to stay around because of some misplaced sense of duty. I want you to want this.” 
"Didn't think I did. When you told me and you gave me an out I wanted to take it. But then I kept looking at that picture, can’t make out anything on it by the way but that doesn’t matter, I kept looking at it and that part of me. That's my baby and I couldn't live with meself if I gave up on it. On you. A lot of people have given up on me in my life and I resent them for it. I can't be the one giving up now, can I? I'm better than that."
She doesn't even realize the tears have found their way out until Jamie's face fills with concern. "Oh no, I didn't mean to make you cry or nothing."
"They're happy tears, I think. I'm really scared, Jamie. Knowing that I don't have to do this all by myself, that helps a bit."
"I promise I'll try to be the best at this. I'll even rub your feet if they're hurting and I fucking hate feet."
Leave it to Jamie to put the humor back into even the most serious and tense of conversations.
"You don't have to rub my feet, that's okay. I do think we should get to know each other better though, now that we're gonna be raising a child together. I know hardly anything about you."
"Uh, you know plenty about me. You know I'm fit, obviously. You know I have great hair. I'm good at football, fucking ace actually. Also sexually."
That little shit has the audacity to wink. it should be annoying. It's weirdly charming though.
"And now you also know that I'm gonna try my best to be good at this. Hey, when the baby is here can I get one of them kangaroo pouch thingies and take them to training with me?"
"Kangaroo pouch? You mean a baby carrier?"
"Yes, that! Strap it to my chest while I do my warm-up."
"You are not taking our baby to training with you, are you insane?"
"I'm joking, Jesus. Would look fucking cool though, maybe get us matching sunglasses. Hats too. Baby icon."
"Oh my god, you know what, maybe this is a bad idea after all."
But it's not, she doesn't mean that. Jamie knows it and (Y/N) knows that he knows. For the first time since those two lines appeared, it feels like she can breathe easy again if even just for a moment. Things will be hard, no doubt but at least she can share it with someone. And it's just an added bonus that someone never fails to put a smile on her face.
"What are you watching there anyway?" Jamie asks, nodding his head towards the tv.
"Grease 2."
"They made a second one? Is it good?"
"No, it's terrible. I love it."
"See," Jamie chimes up, a small genuine smile.on his lips "learned something new about you. The mother of my child loves bad movies. This getting to know each other plan is going so well already."
And while it is a joke, there's also a flicker of truth to it. It's the little things that make us who we are. Like our love for bad movies or our desire to be better than our parents before us.
"Do you wanna stay and watch it with me?"
"Can we start from the beginning?"
"Obviously"
"Then yes! Give me one of them ginger lollies please."
They spent the next few hours watching Grease 2 followed by the first because - well it's just right to watch them both, really. It doesn't feel forced or awkward. This is not two strangers trying to bond for the sake of their child. This is a genuine friendship in the making. It feels wonderful. They exchange numbers, birthdays, favorite colors. It’s all very superficial information but it’s a start and it’s easy. This whole situation is hard enough, sometimes easy is just what you need.
The clock says 12:03 when Jamie decides it's time to go home. 
Just as he is about to leave, one foot already out the door, he turns back with curious eyes.
"Do you know how big the baby is?"
"Uh, no. Pretty tiny I think."
"They didn't tell you what fruit size?"
"Fruit size?"
"Yeah like, it's as big as a strawberry now or something."
(Y/N) shakes her head in response "I think they mostly do that in American movies."
Jamie looks deflated for a fracture of a second before he lightens up again and one of those rare smiles takes over his face. The one that makes him look so boyish and excitable. Like a fucking golden retriever.
"That's okay. I'll find out."
"You do that. Let me know what you find. Have a good night Jamie."
"You too!" Then his eyes move to her stomach "And you too baby."
God, he can be so adorable it's absolutely sickening.
As she lays in bed, (Y/N) thinks back to just the night before. To the anxiety and the fear. To all the what-ifs that ghosted through her head. That seems like a whole lifetime ago and even though a lot of those fears are still present, they get overshadowed tonight. By the knowledge that she's not alone. And by the absolute sunshine that is Jamie Tartt. 
Just before she closes her eyes, her phone dings with a notification. 
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Her hand comes to rest gently on her stomach. There’s no change there yet, absolutely no sign of a baby growing in there at this very moment. And yet she knows and that makes all the difference. 
In a voice, soft like silk, she whispers “Daddy says goodnight”. It’s cheesy, outright sickening but in the dark of the night, who is there to judge her for it? Sometimes you have to let yourself be ridiculous and cringy if your heart demands it.
That night she doesn't fall asleep to fear and anxiety. That night she falls asleep with a smile on her face. 
410 notes · View notes
appleblueberry-pie · 5 months
Text
More yandere 42 Miles Morales
I can see Miles having increased courage and confidence when he's with you. He'll say anything and everything that he thinks is important for you to hear, and he loves you too much to not tell you whatever is on his mind.
He wants to hold you so close to his side, feel your body heat radiate onto him. He wants to stare at you forever and wants you to stare at him too. He's dehydrated and you're his only drink of water, his salvation. He needs to have you, every part of you to himself and will remind you everyday.
You swear he's an insomniac with how often you catch him up at night when you guys text. But when he sleeps next to you, he's out and will stay out for a damn while. Hell, he'd wake up acting like he's in a fucking raisin bran commercial just cause you there.
Loves to whisper how he feels to you just to make you squirm. A romantic and flirt, only times ten because it's for you. Caresses your side, face, leg, head, whatever he can get his hands on. He loves you and will show you and tell you.
It definitely gets worse when you reciprocate it. He tell you a little flirt joke and you wholeheartedly/seriously respond back with confidence? He doubling down on you and won't stop cheesing. Don't run away, it's too late for that, he'll pull yo ass back and make you finish what you started.
If you text him, he'll text back in under a minute, no matter the circumstance. Nothing stops him from reaching out to you ever. If somehow you two end up arguing and god forbid you end on a bad note, he'll blow up your phone.
Another call starts up as soon as the last one ends if you don't answer. Sweet nothings of him begging you to answer the phone turn into threats to pick up(without him realizing it because he's too scared and angry to care about how it sounds) very quickly.
I'm laughing at you if you think turning your phone off and going to sleep will work. He will break into your house and wake you up.
"Fuck you turn your phone off for? Pensabas que esa mierda era graciosa? (You thought that shit was funny?) Huh? Don't ever fucking play with me like that." Doesn't care if everyone else is asleep. Just wants to get his message across to you.
That's probably the worst he'll get when he's "mad" at you(he will never truly get mad at you). Don't even ask about how he get when other niggas try to fuck around with you. oh my god. You tell him someone tried to touch you?
"Baby, look at me." Eyes stern, yet frantic. His shaky breathing is scaring you, but you can't let him see that. His hand grabs your chin, his hold making it hurt. "I need you to tell me that that's the only thing he did to you. Are you sure that's all he said? All he did?" He whispers it as if a hundred people surround you both wanting to listen in on what's being said. You nod and he shakes his head. "Cause I'm gonna kill that motherfucker. You hear me? Nobody fucking touches you."
He stares deep into your eyes, you can't tell if he's hyperventilating or not. All you want is for him to calm down, because seeing him like this is too much for you. You don't know if telling him was even worth it at this point.
"NOBODY!" He shouts it in your face and you violently flinch. He immediately consoles you and apologizes constantly. "Lo siento, lo siento, lo siento. Por favor, perdóname, cariño. Te quiero muchísimo. Solo quiero mantenerte a salvo.(I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry. Please forgive me, darling. I love you so much. I just want to keep you safe.)" He whispers it in your ear and rocks you side to side. He can't stay still for the life of him. He sits you down on the bed and begins pacing.
Whispering to himself and clenching his hands. He then sits down next to you and holds your hands tightly. "I'll be back in at most 2 hours. I'll do whatever you what when you come back. But you gotta eat and catch up on your rest, okay, mi amor? I love you. And I care for you. And I want you to know that whatever happens out there?.....it ain't ever gon' break what we got. Alright?"
He slams his lips onto yours, kissing you passionately in a way he's never done before. A mix of emotions fill you and you can't find the words to make him stay. To make him stop. When he separates the kiss, he rests his sweaty forehead on yours. "I fucking love you." He whispers before leaving.
He would never ever isolate you or lock you up. He heavily prefers seeing you as the best YOU that you can be. He is obsessed with your personality, talents, hobbies, desires, speech, the way you walk, scent, everything. Taking that away from you is like murdering you. He can't live with himself if he did that to you.
Your family loves him, so it'd be hard to escape the relationship when they love him almost as much as they love you. He could give less of a fuck about your friends. You don't need them like you two need each other.
Try to mention anything bad he's done "for you" in the past? Will "assure" you to not worry about it and will justify his actions. "Don't worry about that nigga anymore, mami. I dealt with it. Y'all gon be cool now, okay? So don't worry your pretty self about it anymore and lets get you home. You look tired."
He LOOOOOVES when you coddle him or take care of him. His dream is to lay in your comfortable bed together while you hum him a song and you rub his back while his head lays on your comfortable chest. Every advantage is in his hands when he's sick because he has you to take care of him. He just becomes more delusional when he's sick, basically. Getting fed, maybe praised, cooed at, extra attention and care. Please. He leans into your warm hands like a touch-starved puppy.
Hates it so much when you lead him on strongly but then just shut it down entirely. Flirting with him, pulling him in by his jacket, constantly glancing down at his lips while giggling at his stupid fucking jokes. Then you just turn your head and walk off??? Man, fuck you. Follows you around whining constantly.
Eats absolutely anything you make. I canon he has a humungous appetite. Know how to make gumbo? Half of it's gone in 30 minutes. You'll have to feed him 4 servings every time you cook. That nigga eats everything. "Baby, this good as hell." Yeah, I bet! Knocks out when he's done. Good luck waking him up.
Anyways, he can get really bad at times. But most of the time, he's everything you could ever ask for.
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eunoiathewriter · 2 years
Note
xavier thorpe x reader
where he has a dream that y/n dies, and just as they’re on the way to see him.
(but luckily they end up surviving barely)
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X. THORPE X F!READER
Sypnosis: He wakes up and finds that his dream might be reality, which, in this case, is not good
Word Count: 3.3k
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The crunching sounds of footsteps in the snow broke the eerie silence of the woods around Nevermore. However, no matter how much he wanted to move, he couldn't, and it was as if he were just invisible and could somehow see all that happened but could not move a single inch. The steps grew closer, and the sound of someone muttering incoherent things was vivid.
The figure walked past his nonexistent self in this dream. The figure was clearly frostbitten from the cold that was there, seeing as it was snowing outside. Whoever the figure was, it tried to keep warm; the hood of a hoodie that covered its face and the jacket gave off that impression. When the figure was about six feet in front of him, he began to move, following whoever had just passed through his dreams.
But it was the voice that gave away who it was. Even though her teeth were clattering from the cold and her whole body shook, missing the warmth of her dorm, he could still make out who she was. "You just had to tell me to come out here tonight, didn't you, Thorpe?"
Her muttering and cursing him for his bad timing was nothing new. y/n had over the years of knowing Xavier often had him come to her and just last minute ask for things. That could be anything from a pencil right before class to sneaking into her dorm and asking if she wanted to go to his shed with him at around eleven o'clock. But every time, she would always feel obligated to actually go with him or help him with things. Seeing as he would become a bit sour if she didn't.
But as she walked through the woods, she made sure to not trip and fall; that would be embarrassing. She did not fear anything in the woods; even though there was that thing running around killing people, it just did not really make her feel scared. She had gone to Nevermore long enough to just feel that that thing, the hyde, as Wednesday said its name was, would just not go onto the school's property. Given that the majority of murders occurred in Jericho and not elsewhere.
Then something made him stop—the sound of someone or something walking. She froze in place and listened, trying to see if she could hear anything—breathing, footsteps—just anything. But when there was no more sound, she only shook her head and continued walking.
She got closer and closer to his shed. Thank you to whoever invented hoodies, jackets, handwarmers, and any other form of warm clothing. Without it, she knew she'd be a human popsicle before she even got to Xaviers' shed. But it was yet another set of footsteps once more that made her turn, brows knitted together in confusion and slight fear.
She looked around the forest. In front of her, nothing; behind her, nothing except the shed, which was a good bit from where she was; nothing on the right side. On the left side, there is also nothing. "I swear to God, Xavier, if that's you, I'm going to get Wednesday to kill you, and she will enjoy it!"
She waited just a moment more to see if her words would make him walk out and reveal himself, with that stupid smirk on his face and chuckling at her, telling her she was just messing with her. But no, he did not walk out because he was not there, except he was there but not physically.
This time, when y/n turned back to start walking, she had a concerned look on her face. Perhaps she misjudged the hyde; perhaps it was present.Her face turned up with a hint of fear as she started walking towards the shed that was out of her line of sight and all she focused on. Even though more steps seemed to come closer, she did not turn. She hoped, prayed to any god she could think of, that it was just Xavier and she could hit him for scaring her.
Due to the cold, her hands shook as she reached the shed and saw that no light was on inside. Waking up towards the door, she let out a groan. Xavier couldn't be there because the door was locked.Had he forgotten? No, he would never. And there was no way he was inside, seeing as he was no ghost, so going through walls was sort of out of the question.
"Goddammit," y/n cursed again, hitting her head on the door. With a glance around, seeing as the woods now felt even more eerie than before, she hesitantly took her phone out of her inner pocket.
Turning it on, y/n immediately went into contacts, scrolling and then clicking on his name. Putting it to her ear, she waited. One beep, two beeps, three beeps, four beeps, five beeps, no answer. The fear in her body made her not even think of trying his number once more, and instead she clicked off the call.
Going back to her contacts, she had to think for just a second before it hit her. Scrolling as far up as she could, she clicked on the second-best option: Ajax.
"Come on, come one." It was anxiety-inducing just to wait for him to pick up, but luckily, Ajax always answered.
"Yeah?" His voice made her sigh out of happiness to have reached one of them.
"Hey, Ajax, it's me."
"Oh," he said, slightly surprised. "Is there anything I could do for you? I mean, it is kind of late."
"Yeah, ehm, me and Xavier were supposed to meet up, and he hasn't shown up. I was just wondering if you knew where he was?"
There was a pause on the other side of the phone. "Last I saw him, he was going to our dorm to get his jacket. He said he was going out. Now I know why."
"Okay, Ajax, don't. How long ago was this anyways?"
"Shit, I don't know, but you know he's probably on his way right now; don't worry."
"Yeah. Yeah, you're right, thank you; it's just a tad, ehm." y/n trailed off looking around. "A little spooky out here alone."
"Well don't worry, I'm sure he'll show up soon."
"Mhm, thanks,"
"No problem,"
With that, the call ended.
So she waited a bit more. She was walking back and forth in front of the shed, just waiting for him to suddenly be there and let her inside. But time went slowly, and suddenly five minutes had turned into twenty, making her more and more impatient.
Just as y/n was about to walk back to school, sure as hell done with this and not caring if it was after curfew, she was going to mutilate Xavier, but she was stopped. Heavy footsteps sounded behind her, making her turn quickly, only to find emptiness. Then, yet again, a branch broke under pressure (which was not hers).
Then heavy breathing and footsteps were right behind her; she now stood with her face towards the shed. The breathing was very loud and strong; she could feel whatever it was breathing out, clearly not human. She closed her eyes, let out a shaken breath to calm herself, y/n then slowly turned, only to be faced with that.
The same thing that had occupied Xaviers' dreams for the past months, the hyde stood right before her.
The sound of a door slamming shut was what woke him up. Jolting upright at the sound, his mind was still foggy while looking around. Getting used to the light of the fully lit dorm took some time, but slowly his eyes adjusted.
Turning his head to the door into the dorm, Xavier came face to face with Ajax, who had stopped dead in his tracks. His mind still not completely clear, he rubbed his face and ran a hand through his hair, then turned back to his new dorm mate.
"Jeez, did your soul enter your body again? 'Cause that's what it looked like." Ajax remarked as he made his way to his bed, which had previously been Rowans'. The gorgon had moved in not soon after Rowan disappeared; it was to "make sure there were dorms in case of new students."
"Feels like it." Xavier looked around, still extremely confused at both the dream and all. It felt like he had forgotten something.
Looking around, he found that it was dark outside; the clock on his nightstand said ten thirty. His coat was almost falling off his bed, where it was not supposed to be, and his phone, well, he realised how uncomfortable he was and found it lying underneath him.
He could not, for the life of him, comprehend all of this. What was he even doing before falling asleep, because it seemed he was going to do something.
"I thought you wouldn't be back for at least another hour." Ajax said casually while sprawled out on his bed, looking at his phone.
"What?"
"I thought you and y/n would be away doing whatever you were meeting up to be doing for longer; it seems as though I was wrong." Ajax chuckled at himself but turned when Xavier was too quiet for his liking.
"How do you know that?"
"y/n called about an hour or two ago to ask where you were."
That was what he had forgotten; they were supposed to meet up at his shed. Just a little before nine o'clock was their decided time, and even though it was a Saturday, they still had the same curfew as any other day.
I will make what could be a long story short. Xavier had been with some of the other guys in one of their dorms to waste time, then when the clock was slowly dragging towards nine, he had gone off. He was only telling Ajax that he would be late and would be leaving.Once he had reached his dorm, for some strange reason, he had just sat down and laid back for a moment on his bed. But as he got more comfortable, his plans slipped his mind, and slowly he was pulled into dreamland. Only it did not feel like that was a dream now.
"You okay there, man?" Ajax sat up when Xavier suddenly stood up, grabbing his phone and coat, just in case.
"Just wait here," he said before going out into the hallway. He didn't care about waking up the rest of the students, or the teachers, because he might have made a critical mistake by accident.
The sounds of his quick pace did cause quite a few of the students inside their dorms to wake up, but none walked out to see what was going on. He luckily got to the girls' dorms with no problem. The darkness made it a bit hard to see, but he had learned where her dormitory was.
Knocking on the door was awkward because it would sure wake up people in the dorms around, and he would have to talk to y/n's roommate.
There was some shuffling before the door opened, and there stood an exhausted Ophilia, but the light inside was still on. "Is y/n there?"
He did not care for formalities right now and could see that there was a look of concern on Ophilia's face, yet she was also tired, as if she had been waiting.
"No, she said she was going out to meet with you." Ophilia told. "Why? Has anything happened?"
Glancing inside the dorm, he could see the clearly empty bed that had not been touched in hours. The expression on his face told Ophilia that something was clearly wrong. Why was he there and not y/n?
"Go wake Weems,"
"And do what?" Ophilia was not happy with only being told that. "Where's y/n if you're here and she's not?"
Xaviers' face said it all as he started to work on getting his coat on. The girl's face went pale, and her eyes widened as Xavier slowly started to make his way back towards his dorm, but not before turning back and saying one last thing to Ophilia:
"Go, tell Weems y/n never returned."
She did not get any tike to reply before Xavier was already heading back to his dorm. Trying to be as quick as he could without waking everyone in Nevermore, he had to pick up the pace now that he knew she wasn't in her dorm.
Opening up the door into the dorm, he found that it was still fully lit, and he was happy that the guys' dorm dad was not as strict as Mrs. Thornhill. Inside, Ajax sat at the edge of his bed, waiting patiently, as he had been told to do just minutes earlier. He stood up and saw the distressed look on Xavier's face.
"You're coming with me."
Ajax and Xavier shade made certain to thoroughly scavenge the woods, walking the same path that y/n had in his dream, to his shed.It was all just like in his dream, or nightmare, and snow was still falling. The sky was clear of any clouds, so the stars could be seen. To think they were just burning balls of gas from millions of light-years away.
They had their phones in hand and flashlights on to make sure they would spot y/n if she was anywhere where the naked eye would not see her. The more time that passed, the more his anxiety rose. His stomach twisted in worry.
What if she had died? What if his dreams had spared him her gruesome death? Would her body be just one of many victims? Did she feel alone when dying?
His mind raced with what-if scenarios.It was hard to concentrate on the path before him. The snow had been falling so heavily that no marks were left on the ground that could indicate where y/n had gone or if the hyde was lurking about in the shadows, waiting to pounce.
Finally reaching the shed, they both looked around in different directions to try and see if they could find anything. But there was no sign of anyone. The whole time, both boys stayed silent, and Ajax, who could at times muster up some jokes, knew that now wasn't the time for them.
"How about we each take a direction, but stay close enough to see the others' lights?" Ajax turned his head toward his friend. He did not ask how Xavier knew where to look; that was something he could ask later, but y/n could not wait if she was out there.
"Yeah, sure." Both departed in a different direction, keeping the shed as a center.
Xavier kept a close eye on every nook and cranny that his flash lit up, making sure that he did not miss anything. He was not just going to walk right past her if she was out there. No way. She would never have been alone if he had simply put on his coat and left. If she had someone with her, she would not have been alone in the eerie woods this late at night with a hyde stroking around.
As he happened to step on a branch, the sound of something rustling far away made him whip his whole body towards the sound. He remained silent while shining his light in that direction. If he just strained his ears enough, he could hear it—the sound of someone quietly praying for their life to be kept intact.
"y/n?" The quiet mutters quickly stopped as soon as he called out; a bit more rustling came from behind a bigger tree.
Slowly, very slowly, Xavier made his way towards the tree. Again, he slowly rounded the tree and found that the rustling was not from an animal but from y/n. There she sat, her whole body shaking from what had to be both the cold and fright, lightly rocking herself back and forth while keeping her head down in an attempt to keep herself safe and secure.
Dropping his phone to the ground and not caring for it as the light shone right up into the sky (his dad could buy a new one), he crouched down. Slowly getting to the same level as her, the sound of his phone hitting the ground made her body flinch a little.
"y/n," His voice was soft as he reached out and just barely touched her, but she immediately started fighting against him.
y/n yelled at him to leave her alone, hitting his hands away as he tried to grab her and drag her back into reality. Her adrenaline was clearly running high, as she did not seem to know it was him and not the hyde.
"Leave me be!" Her voice came out hoarse as she yelled, or tried to.
"Hey, hey!" Finally, after a bit of struggling, Xavier got a hold of her wrists. She tried to free herself, but clearly her body was too weak to fight hard enough. "It's me. It's me."
Never in his life would he believe that those two words, "It's me," would ever be able to make someone so full of fright and adrenaline to finally stop, which y/n did. Her entire body ceased fighting, her wrists slaking in his grip. Her breathing was laboured as she blinked and looked around for a split second before returning her gaze to him.
"Xavier?" It was a question to just confirm that she had not gone mad during her two hours of running and hiding from that creature, and she was answered.
"Yeah," Xavier said, nodding with a small smile on his face. His eyes scanned her face: a bruise on her left cheek, a busted lip, and a scrape on the right side of her forehead.
"I was just going to go back, and suddenly it was just there..." y/n choked out while gripping his arms as if to ground herself and make sure she was safe.
"Hey, it's fine," Xavier said, shaking his head as he didn't need to be told. He lightly pulled her a little closer, her arms landing around his waist as she hugged him closely.
Right now, Xavier did not care if he was getting cold from sitting in the middle of the night in the woods while it was the end of November, almost December. All he cared for was that she was safe—safe in his arms and alive.
"I was just waiting for you.." Her voice was barely a whisper as she spoke, clinging onto him as his arms had encircled her. One of his hands was on her cheek, thumb rubbing along her cheekbone as his chin rested on top of her head.
"I know." Guilt made a lump form in his throat. "I'm sorry."
They sat there, on the cold ground, Xavier holding onto her as if he were a shelter from the evil, all while y/n moved so the side of her head rested against his chest. Ear pressed to his heart, the constant beating was, in a way, calming. Her arms around his waist are not loosening.
"It almost got me." A stray tear fell down her cheek, but his hand that caressed it was quick to wipe it away. Pressing a kiss to her forehead and holding her even closer if that was possible.
"You're fine." It was more to reassure himself that she was indeed fine, or as fine as she could be after hiding and being attacked for the past two hours.
He could slowly feel the adrenaline in her body oozing out as she slowly relaxed into him more, almost her whole body weight leaning onto him. At last, y/n let out that one breath, that last shaky breath that needed to come out, her eyes closing for a second.
"Thank you.."
Once more, Xavier pressed a kiss to her forehead before resting his head atop hers. He waited a little longer before calling Ajax and telling him he had found her.
"You're okay."
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Hope y'all like this, and why does everyone fanfic I write become longer than I intend them to? Maybe I'm word vomiting too much lol.
Anyway, requests are always open and I got another ifc coming tomorrow :))
Tagged people:
@getbillzoned @honeybubblepopp @mrskeery-mclaughlin @aspenreadsfanfic @wonderlandco @quinn165 @alicews @l4venderia @navs-bhat @ariianelle @i-bitch-you-bitch @sleepy-potato16 @moose-ubi @lomllino @honey-with-tea @cheryhrts @rayliz793 @moatsnow @s0ftdr1nks @writing-fanics
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lvis44 · 1 year
Text
Sweet Escape Pt. 6 // LH 44
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Lewis Hamilton x Y/N
Warnings: Swearing, 18+ (mentions of sexual activities), Anxiety, Jealousy, Angst, Mentions of Alcohol, Regret, Emotional Turmoil, Not Edited
Word Count: 4.3k
Summary: Paradise is supposed to be fun and relaxing... a Sweet Escape, but when unspoken feelings and jealousy rise to the surface, everything can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye.
Note: I felt bad leaving you all in pain, not that this will be much better but hey, we're getting there! This part is a tad shorter but I felt that this whole thing should be stand alone. The next part will be the final part of the story, but don't worry there will be an epilogue. I'm glad you have all been enjoying so far and I greatly appreciate everyone's support!
I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy! xxx
Previous Sections: Prologue - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five
It was nearing three in the morning when you heard your door open. The second you had arrived home you had grabbed your stuff out of Charlotte's room and moved back into your old one. You weren’t particularly in the mood to face anyone. You had spent the last few hours quietly sobbing into your knees, balled up on the bed like a child. You had seemingly run out of tears but the sorrow didn’t change. You hadn’t even heard everyone come home, somehow beating them even on foot, you assumed it was because they had to go find everyone else.
“What?” You snapped at whomever had entered your room, not even looking toward the door.
“Hey, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” You heard Miles’ voice from the doorway, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Do I seem fucking okay?” You snapped again, your filter long gone.
He let out a sigh, closing the door behind him softly as he dared to make his way over to your bed, sitting down beside you gently.
“I’m sorry Y/N, it wasn’t fair to you to cause a scene like that.” He says softly, glancing over at you to see you staring into space, your attention fixated on the blank wall to the side of the room.
You scoff, not trying to be rude but unable to control anything that comes out of you, “Well at least one of you knows how to fucking apologize. I’m still mad at you though.”
You hear him sigh again, moving closer to you so he can place a hand on your back, rubbing softly. You don’t even have the energy to flinch away from him, just letting him rest his hand there and enjoying the slightest bit of comfort.
“I know you’re pissed at Lewis, you have every right to be. Don’t kill her but Charlotte kind of filled me in when we got home. He massively fucked up.” His hand continues it’s light circling pattern, “And truth be told so did I. I don’t know why but I constantly feel like I need to protect you and hearing that asshole call you anything other than perfect made me want to kill him, he’s honestly lucky Lewis had half a brain to pull me away from him. I know you can take care of yourself but I’m always gonna look out for you, no matter what. Hence the reason I tried to deck my best friend earlier tonight.”
“I’m sorry, you what?” You whip your head towards him, that last bit of information really catching your interest.
“Yeah, when Charlotte filled me in I was still livid with the whole situation from the bar and finding out what sparked it really pissed me off. It only felt right he get at least a swift kick to the groin. Not to disappoint you but Char stopped me. I’m shocked you didn’t hear us.” He almost sounds like he wants to laugh as he tells you, like he can’t believe the whole situation himself.
“He needs a kick to the groin, taking that thing out of commission for a little while might do everyone some good.” You joke dryly, making Miles laugh next to you.
“If you need me to do it, I’m more than willing.” He offers, only kind of a joke, you feel like if you genuinely asked him to do it, he would, given the circumstances.
“I hate that I can hate him and love him all at the same time. I don’t want to lose him, but this can’t carry on this way.” You confess to Miles.
“I know Charlotte already said this to the both of you, but you guys really need to fucking talk.” He tells you seriously, before adding, “And sober.”
“I know, I know.” You groan, “I’m sorry we’ve managed to fuck up so much of vacation.”
“It’s been much more him than you sweetheart, he brought every ounce of drama himself. I could tell something was up with you over the last few days but I couldn’t really figure out what. I’m sorry it’s him.” Miles brings you in for a side hug, his arm wrapping protectively around you.
“I’m just so fucking sick of it all. I’m so tired.” You tell him, leaning against his shoulder.
“I know, understandably so.” Miles lets out a sigh, holding you in silence for a few moments. “You get some sleep and I’ll check on you in the morning, okay?” He says as he presses a kiss to your temple.
All you do is nod, knowing he’s right.
“I know you’re not all good or anything, but I’m glad you're still here. I was worried you were gonna be at the airport by the time we got home, we freaked for a second when we saw your stuff wasn’t in Charlottes anymore.” He tells you quietly, still not having let you go.
“I just didn’t want to have to face anyone, figured moving back to my old room would be the easiest way.” You just about whisper, feeling your exhaustion catch up to you.
“Well, I’m sorry to have intruded, but I needed to check on you,” Miles says, kissing your forehead one more time before easing you back toward your pillows, “get some sleep hun.”
. . .
You had no idea what time it was when you finally woke up and you have no idea how long you’ve been laying in your bed staring at the ceiling. It has to have been a good hour at this point. You can hear people moving around somewhere in the house, the last thing you want to do is go and interact. You were embarrassed, angry, hurt, and so much more you couldn’t even wrap your head around. You’ve had enough. As you’ve been laying there, more than once you’ve contemplated if you could manage to pack your stuff and sneak out of the house, fly back home without another word. You knew you couldn't and more than likely someone would come track you down the second they knew you were gone, well normally they would. You don’t know what your friends know of the situation. How much did everyone else see, how much had they been told? You knew you should get up and eat something but you had no appetite, anxiety and dread having taken over your body. You lay there going through your thoughts for more than an hour. You want to sit down and talk with Lewis, you need to, but the anxiety of the possible outcome is paralyzing you. What if he confirms your fears, admits that all he’s ever been trying to do is get it your pants? What if now that you’ve shut him down he doesn’t see a reason to keep you around anymore? The rational part of your brain knows that you're overthinking, that your friendship with Lewis still stands on semi solid ground. Maybe there will be some change to how he is around you or how often he’s with you but at the base of it all your still close friends. Lewis knows things about you that your own family doesn’t, he’s been able to read you better than you can read yourself on more than a few occasions, all of that can’t go up in smoke this quickly. Can it?
There’s a soft knock on your door, making you groan. You don’t respond hoping they’ll go away. They don’t, only knocking again and gently pushing the door open. You roll your head to the side, seeing Miles peeking his head into your room, a comforting smile on his face. True to his word, here he was to check on you.
“Good morning,” He says softly, making his way into your room once he sees you’re awake, “I brought you something to eat, you need to get something in you.”
You give him a small smile as he places a tray of fruit and a large glass of ice water on the table next to your bed.
“Thanks.” You croak out, your voice hoarse from crying all night.
“Everybodies in their rooms for the most part if you need to venture out of hiding at any point.” He tells you, knowing you’ve been avoiding everyone, but one person in particular.
You just nod, taking a small sip of the cold water. It feels amazing on your burning throat, as if it’s your first drink of water after a month in the desert.
“What time is it?” You ask, trying to get some bearing on where you are in your life, even if it's just the time of day.
He glances down at the watch on his wrist, “Just before noon.”
It’s still earlier than you thought it was at this point and it fills you with a small sense of dread, there’s so much more of the day to go about trying to avoid everyone.
“You know no ones mad at you, right?” Miles makes sure you know that there’s no hostility facing you in the house.
You just shrug, unsure of how true that actually is and also not quite wanting to admit that it’s more so that you’re embarrassed to even see your friends. There’s another soft knock on the door and you're praying it’s Charlotte, the only other person you could bare being around right now. Much to your dismay, a very tired looking Lewis pokes his head around the door that Miles had left ajar. Your breath hitches, anxiety filling your body.
“Oh, shit, sorry, I’ll um-” Lewis stutters, not wanting to interrupt your chat with Miles.
“All good man, I was just gonna head out anyway.” Miles says, standing from where he had sat on your bed.
You know Miles can sense your anxiety but he gives you a look that says “just get it over with” and heads towards the door. Before he exits he turns back toward you and says “Holler for me if you need anything, alright?”
He whispers something to Lewis as he walks out and you can see a pained expression on Lewis’ face at whatever he said. Once he’s gone, Lewis stands awkwardly in the doorway, not quite being able to look at you as he plays with his hands down in front of him.
“You can come in.” You squeak, not actually fully wanting to say it but knowing it needs to be done. 
He finally looks at you, putting his hand on the door as if to close it but you can see the question in his eyes. You nod, not wanting your whole conversation to be heard by everyone in the house. He very gently pushes the door closed, making his way further into your room. He looks around, evidently unsure of what to do with himself. He opts for perching on the edge of your dresser just across from where you sit on the bed, you’re facing each other and you can feel your stomach filling with butterflies, but not the good kind you usually get when you’re around him.
“I owe you an apology, well, multiple apologies.” He finally says, looking down at the ground, ashamed. His voice is hoarse as if he’s just woken up.
You don’t say anything, unsure of what you would even say.
“I’m sorry for the way that I’ve treated you. I’m sorry for not talking to you sooner. I’m sorry that my company embarrassed you in front of everyone. I’m sorry for my behavior last night, all of it. I’ve treated you in a way that if anyone else did the same to you, I would hate them.” He finally apologizes for the last few days, finally looking at you as he does so.
He looks exhausted, much older than usual with bags under his eyes and more scruff than you're used to him allowing.
“Thank you,” you whisper, “and I’m sorry I avoided talking to you too.”
He shakes his head, “It shouldn’t have been on you to fix, I’m the one that fucked up.”
You offer a small smile in his direction. All is not immediately forgiven and this conversation needs to continue, but hearing him acknowledge the reasons he needed to apologize in the first place does your heart some good at the very least.
“Why did you do it?” You ask quietly, your voice timid, not sure you truly want the answer.
He looks surprised by the question, also not quite sure how to respond. He lets out a sigh as he collects his thoughts.
“I know it doesn’t make it right,” He starts, pausing for a moment to make sure his words come across as clearly as possible, “but, it’s been on my mind for a long time. I’m well aware that I went about it all wrong, especially last night, I was incredibly out of line last night, but I’ve thought about it alot.” He cringes at his admission.
You furrow your brow, worried this is going exactly the direction you feared, hoping he will continue.
“I don’t mean for that to sound creepy, but I’ve been really attracted to you for quite a while. I should have made that clear in a much different way. I never want you to feel like I’m trying to take advantage of you in any way, it makes me sick to think that I have ever made you feel like that.” He says, a look of regret on his tired face.
“What I said last night was harsh, my drunk brain just felt like it was the best way to get my point across.” You admit to him.
“But it wasn’t really that harsh, despite it not being intentional, it’s kind of true. What I said on the other hand, that was harsh, I never should have called you a tease or said you indulged in it, it wasn’t fair.” His words are firm, for the first time he’s holding steady eye contact with you, demanding your attention so you feel the remorse in his words.
“I need to be honest, it really hurts that you’re able to treat me like all the other girls you fuck around with, I thought I was more important to you than them.” You quietly admit to him.
“Fuck, you are. So much more important to me.” He says, finally moving from where he’s been leaning on your dresser and cautiously making his way toward where you sit on your bed. He carefully sits next to you, leaving a good distance but making sure he’s near you.
“Then how can you be so okay with chatting up the bar tender, grinding on some random woman, and then still come over and try to fuck me, yet again. All because your ego couldn’t handle me dancing with someone else, when you were doing exactly the same.” You push, needing him to truly understand just how shitty his actions made you feel.
“You’re right, I was jealous. In my ideal world you would have been dancing with me all night, but I knew you wouldn’t have allowed that where we were in our relationship. And then you found that prick and the way you were with him, it just set something off in me. I wasn’t thinking. I know that sounds like a horrible excuse but there was part of me that was hoping I could make you just as jealous as I was, not that you would be when you’ve made it clear you’re not interested, and I should have respected that. Between the alcohol and my ego, I let myself treat you like shit and there’s no excuse for that, I would take it back in a heartbeat if I could.” His face is sincere, you can tell just how much he regrets last night but it doesn’t automatically let him off the hook. He continues “And as for the bartender, I wasn’t chatting her up, she’s an old friend. I’ve never slept with her and never will, she’s like family. I got distracted talking with her and by the time I found you again you had that Jason dude on your hip.”
You want to laugh, not only at him forgetting Jadens name, but also at him saying you’re not interested. He has every right to assume you’re not, you’ve done nothing but turn him down. You almost want to tell him just how wrong he is, how the only reason you said no is because you don’t want to lose him, but right now is not the time for that, you don’t want to open any windows and derail the conversation that so far is going shockingly well, even if it hurts.
“Is she the woman you went to after your fight with Talia?” You push him slightly, hoping to get more out of him while he’s being so honest with you.
His face screws up for a second, confused how you would know that. You see the questioning look on his face and rush to clarify, to confess.
“I know you lied to me that night, or at least I kind of hope you did. I overheard you and Charlotte talking the next morning, something about a woman named Marina.” You explain.
He lets out a deep sigh, “Yeah, I’m sorry I lied to you. I wasn’t particularly in the mood to explain the whole situation. But to answer your question, yes, that is the woman that I went and saw.” He doesn’t offer any further explanation, you want to push him but you allow him to leave it at that, at least for now.
You both sit in silence for a moment, trying to figure out where to go from here.
“Lewis,” You say quietly, getting his attention, “I don’t want to lose you.”
His face morphs into absolute sorrow and pain, for a moment you worry that he’s mourning your friendship, not knowing how to break the news to you.
“Y/N, you’ll never lose me. I would go crazy without you.” His voice is soft but sincere as he carefully scoots closer to you on the bed, testing the waters slightly. You let him get close enough that your knees are touching, his hand coming to rest over yours, squeezing tightly.
“How do you think I could ever let you go?” He asks with a deep frown.
“Because you seemed to be okay with ruining our friendship just to get me in your bed.” You accuse him, your voice wavering.
“Sweetheart, I was never trying to ruin our friendship, I-” He takes a long pause, gathering himself with a deep breath, “I don’t know how to explain it exactly, but truth be told, me trying to get you into bed was never just me trying to sleep with you. It’s been a long time since I felt for someone how I feel for you and I’m not good at making that clear. I don’t even truly understand everything that I feel for you but, I know it’s a whole lot more and a whole lot different than how I feel about all of my other friends. I guess somewhere in my head I felt like I could get that across physically, that maybe it would make everything make sense once I had you. I know it sounds ridiculous but I don’t know how to do this.”
His confession both shocks and confuses you, your mind flitting back to the night he disappeared after his fight with Talia. That night he had told you that he had feelings for her, now he was trying to convince you of his feelings for you.
“What about Talia?” You ask, voice still unsure.
“What about Talia?” He throws back at you, confused as to why she matters right now.
“The night that we talked, after your fight, you told me you were worried that you had messed everything up with someone that you cared about or liked a lot, I don’t remember exactly what you said but…” You trail off, a slow moment of realization coming over you.
He chuckles softly, shaking his head as he looks down at the ground before returning his eyes to yours, “Y/N, I was talking about you. In no universe was I ever even considering Talia.” His words confirm what you’ve just realized and you want to slap yourself, you feel like an idiot.
“I- oh my god.” You breathe out, shutting your eyes. His eye contact suddenly feeling like too much.
You stand from the bed, disconnecting your hand from his. He stays seated, looking up at you as you begin to pace, letting you process what he’s said.
“How long?” You ask suddenly, stopping and looking at him.
“In all honesty, I don’t really know. I only really realized it sometime last year. I was thinking it would go away, that it was just some silly crush, but it just kept getting worse.” He explains, shrugging his shoulders as if it’s totally normal.
“So all the time that you were sleeping with all these other women and still flirting with me was, what?” You feel yourself getting agitated, not quite sure how to feel about his actions.
“I kind of figured that if I kept sleeping around that I would be satisfied and I wouldn’t feel the same way, but I couldn't help but keep flirting with you, it’s just naturally how I am with you, it feels right.” Once again he shrugs as if it’s no big deal.
“Do you not want to feel this way about me?” You ask quietly, a slight sting of rejection settling over you.
“No, no, that’s not it at all.” He rushes out, standing to approach you, carefully he puts his hands on your arms, making you look at him, “It’s not at all that I don’t want to feel this way about you, I’m glad I do to be completely honest. It’s just that I’ve been single for a very long time and I truly do not want to fuck this up, I’m scared that I’m going to and I’m going to lose you. It felt like everything would be so much easier if I could just keep being your friend and keep you in my life. But that didn’t happen, I still managed to fuck it up.”
You can feel tears forming in your eyes, he notices them too, a look of regret on his face.
“So what do you want?” You ask him, needing more clarity.
“All in all, I want you, I want to do this with you and god I want to not fuck it up. I want you to be mine, all mine, all in.” He says confidently, much more sure of himself than you feel.
You stare at him as the tears start to roll down your cheeks, your emotions are at an all time high. Part of you is filled with pure ecstasy, the man that you have crushed on for years is standing here in front of you confessing his feelings, asking you to be his. The other part of you is filled with absolute fear, the thought of trying and failing with him, losing one of the most amazing men you have ever met, your best friend. You know that a life with Lewis could either end in the most beautiful love you have ever experienced or the worst, most gut wrenching heartache known to man.
“Can I hug you? You look like you could use it.” His voice is soft, his heart aching as he watches you cry.
All you can do is nod as you let yourself fall into his hard chest. He holds you against him tightly, rubbing soft circles on your back as he once again lets you cry into his chest. You’ve done this too many times in the last twenty four hours. He stays silent, just letting you work through your emotions. When you finally calm down you pull your head from his chest but he keeps you tight against him, one of his hands coming up to wipe some remaining tears from your cheek. You revel in the feeling of his touch, how comforting a simple action can be. As you stare into his eyes you can see how much emotion and affection is hidden behind them. A soft, sad smile across his lips.
“What’s going through that beautiful mind?” He asks, his voice just above a whisper.
“I don’t know.” You tell him honestly.
He just nods, understanding how overwhelmed you must be.
“I need time, I need to think.” You say, averting your eyes from his, knowing you’ll say yes if you look into them for a moment too long.
“Take all the time you need, I’ll always be right here if you decide you’ll have me.” He says softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he gives you another proper hug.
He finally steps away from you, leaving you feeling displaced in your own room, before he turns to leave he grabs your hand, squeezing it tightly, “And Y/N, no matter what you decide, you will never lose me. I will always be right here.” With that he leaves the room, leaving you behind with a whirlwind of thoughts.
As much as every part of you wants to believe him in saying he’ll never leave you, you can’t help but wonder if it’s fully true. If you try this and all of it comes crashing down, you can’t imagine being able to be around him.
Is the possibility of loving and being loved by the most incredible human being worth the possibility of losing him entirely? 
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ourflagmeansgayrights · 8 months
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ok so like objectively yes ed did things wrong but not only do i personally feel no negative emotions about any of that, i swear it would make more sense tonally with the rest of the show to NOT make a huge chunk of s2 be about ed facing the consequences for and redeeming himself from the marooning/pushing lucius overboard/izzy toe thing. like if im wrong i’m wrong and it’s whatever but i really really think the focus will be more on ed’s internal emotional state and how his choices were informed by trauma and how he’s going to learn to heal more than it’s gonna be like, Ed Learns It’s Wrong To Maroon People And Force Feed People Their Own Toes. like if anything i think it’ll be Ed Learns That He Deserves To Be Happy And He Also Realizes That Marooning People And Force Feeding People Their Own Toes Is An Unhealthy Coping Skill That Negatively Affects His Mental Health And He Learns New, Healthier Coping Strategies. like i think the focus of coming out of the kraken era is going to be almost entirely on ed’s feelings, and any mention of how his actions harmed the rest of the cast will be brief and/or it’ll primarily be played for comedy
which yes irl this would kinda suck to have some guy respond to getting his heart broken (and other stuff) by killing and maiming people and then have his whole journey of self-discovery be solely abt him and not any of the people he’s hurt. HOWEVER a biiiiiig part of the humor of the show is that the characters are experiencing some very real and very relatable self-esteem issues and insecurities and vulnerabilities, and all of that is placed on a backdrop of comedically gratuitous pirate violence. like this is a romcom and ed is basically going through the classic emotional beats of the romcom heroine getting her heart broken and eating a whole tub of ice cream and crying in her room for days before becoming cold and distant and “love is dead” edgy, only the joke is that bc he’s a pirate his “love is dead” romcom era includes some people actually literally dying. izzy and the crew all just happen to be in the blast radius for this joke, and while we as fans might love and care abt those characters too, the plain fact is that ed and stede are the main characters and the other characters’s feelings or storylines or internal motivations simply do not matter nearly as much to the show as theirs (with the exception of maybe jim, and also maybe olu depending on how s2 goes). and that’s literally just how romcoms work. this sort of “protagonist bias” is like, a core part of this kind of story.
and there’s nothing wrong with not vibing with the story because of that. if season two comes and goes and you aren’t happy with how the show handled the consequences of ed’s actions in e10 that’s fine, nobody has to feel any specific way about this show. but if i’m right and this is how s2 plays out and some of y’all don’t like this, the problem is not that ofmd is bad. the problem is just that this is not the story you wanted or expected to be told.
i DO think, tho, that there’s something very powerful abt a character like this being a queer indigenous man. he’s a gay romcom protagonist and narratively speaking his feelings trump all. this is a queer romcom that uses gratuitous slapstick violence as a punchline and where the queer main characters are allowed to get violent and unhinged about their feelings, and at the end of the day they ultimately get a pass bc it’s a gay romcom and the show is about them. like literally that description itself is more than i could’ve ever dreamed of from any tv show ever, and THEN you’re telling me that one of the main characters is indigenous???? it’s been a year and a half and s2 is right around the corner and i swear to god i still can’t believe this show actually exists. we don’t GET shows like this, we don’t GET characters like this. ed teach is such a fucking blessing of a character and i love him with all my heart.
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faulty-writes · 7 months
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Hii! I apologize if you keep getting notifications from me at such an hour but I cant get enough of your posts! I love the way you write Tenya!
So if I may trouble you just a bit longer…
Since it’s spooky season, what would your take be on vampire Tenya x f (or gn) reader? And vampire Monoma as well?
[ Oh I like trouble, trust me. Haha. Thank you. I swear I get so many compliments regarding how I write Tenya, makes me so proud of myself. One spooky season request coming up! ]
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Despite being what many assumed was a "blood-sucking" creature, Tenya had a sense of elegance and self-discipline because of his upbringing. Yes, he was what most would refer to as a "rich kid" but he was not spoiled in any capacity and often adhered to his own rules which included having manners even when thirsty for blood.
Most found Tenya to be intimidating, but you found him intriguing despite initially being unaware of his true nature. The two of you met in a bookstore late at night and you recall the way he stumbled when he rounded the corner of a bookshelf to find you and the way he bowed and said "Pardon, I was unaware there was another frequenting this shop so late at night."
The two of you began to meet frequently at the bookstore after that, and although you thought it peculiar Tenya only requested to meet you at night. You assumed it was because he was busy during the day but in all truth, he was struggling to avoid revealing his true nature to you and feared that once you found out he was a vampire you'd…well you would not want to see him again.
He slipped one night, after pushing himself too far. Yes, self-control was essential. But one could only contain themselves for so long and vampires were particularly dangerous when deprived of blood. "I…I apologize I…I did not wish for you to see me as such a…monster," while initially a shock, you tried to be accepting and understanding of what he was.
Being the person you were, his vampiric world fascinated you, and he didn't hesitate to teach you about the history of his lineage or his nightly rituals which typically included performing a series of prayers, chants, and such before he drank whatever blood he had managed to obtain.
Unfortunately, Tenya also informed you of the dangerous side of his world. Mostly the rogue vampires who strayed from the societal rules of their world and killed or injured humans during their bloodlust. "I promise, I will not allow harm to come to you. Ensuring your safety is quite a priority." Yes…he would go to whatever lengths he needed to ensure you remained by his side.
To double ensure your safety, Tenya presented you with gifts frequently. Usually, these consisted of protective charms, blessed holy water, and amulets that were believed to ward off bad supernatural threats. Of course, he would never tell you the hoops he had to go through to get such gifts.
Sometimes it was hard to keep up with Tenya's schedule considering he was more active at night. But he assured you that he enjoyed your company and often insisted that you could rest when you appeared extremely tired. Waking up in his bed or falling asleep against his shoulder became a frequent occurrence for you.
His parents were hesitant to accept you and your growing relationship with their son. On the other hand, his brother, Tensei welcomed you with open arms. "It's awesome that my little bro finally found someone! And just to let you know, it doesn't matter if you're human, another vampire, or even a witch. I believe that people who look past such things are the coolest!" It was safe to assume that Tenya got his beliefs from Tensei.
"I believe with enough effort, we may eliminate the prejudice that separates our societies to coexist together in harmony," one of Tenya's deepest wishes was to break the barriers between his and your kind. Although he had not intended to feel affection for you, he did. Yet, he looked at it as the first step to uniting your kind as he dreamed.
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Neito, unfortunately, was out of blood and sought to get it fresh from an unsuspecting human. That human happened to be you and he was only attracted to you because of the intoxicating scent of your blood. However, he quickly found that you were not a frail human and stood your ground far more than he expected.
While some would be embarrassed, Neito remained his ignorant self after realizing you were quite the troublesome individual. "How dare you reject me! I am Neito Monoma, and I demand you provide me with your blood!" As far as you were concerned, underneath his vampiric nature was nothing more than a spoiled child and you were prepared to discipline him as needed.
He continued to stalk you, despite finding alternative blood donors because as much as he hated to admit it, he found you intriguing. For a human that is, and used his sharp wit accompanied by playful banter whenever you caught him in his stalking efforts. "Surely you didn't think I'd leave you alone, oh no my dear, quite the opposite. I do not stop until I get what I want and what I want is your blood," and your affection, but he kept that to himself.
Your opinion of him didn't change until you were attacked by another one of his kind. Your guard was down initially because you had mistaken them for Neito, and despite your skills, you were losing the fight until he showed up and saved you. He'd be damned if he let another taste your blood before he got the chance to.
You detested the idea of letting him finally drink from you but considering his courageous actions. You allowed him the opportunity and found that he was surprisingly gentle when feeding from you. "Surely you didn't compare me to such monsters as that rouge one who attempted to take what is mine, how insulting. I pride myself in presentation and manners," he stated, acting just a touch too offended.
Despite not letting many people in, the two of you continued to spend time together, and Neito began to reveal his past. How he came from a high-class family, their rather…unbelievable expectations of him, and how he wishes to break free and prove his own worth to the world. Of course, that was a challenge given the current state of discrimination toward his kind, but he was still determined to do whatever he could to make his dream come true.
He finds himself feeling peaceful when in your presence and this was new to him and something that gave him a sense of belonging. It was almost as if being in your presence kept his demons at bay and he partially wondered if you wore any protection symbols or amulets on your person.
On occasion, Neito would still struggle with the affection he felt for you and his nature. Vampires were strong, drank blood, and didn't hesitate to do what they wanted to obtain said blood. But even though he knew you would allow him to drink from you. He found that he didn't want to cause you any harm and thus the conflict continued but he kept this a secret from you.
Eventually, Neito agreed to allow you to meet his family. Although it was immediately apparent, they detested you merely because you were human and spoke ill of Neito for befriending and furthermore feeling the way he did toward you. "Humans are meant to be our food source, nothing more," they said which caused Neito to argue with them before ultimately dragging you out the door.
Despite your unusual relationship, Neito viewed it as fulfilling his commitment to protect and cherish you for as long as you lived, and from what he understood, that was for a short time. He planned to propose to turn you but decided to wait to bring that up. For now, he'd enjoy your company.
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romanarose · 3 months
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Ouch!
Santiago Garcia x fem!afab!reader
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Summery: You have really difficult periods, but Santi is there for you.
A one shot but takes place in the Santi period fic verse after Santi with a Reader on her Period and Gross Reality but also in the universe of Honest Mistake written with @missdictatorme
Warnings: Blood, period se, v painful periods, butthole cramps, tummy cramps, backaches, Santi's pretty fingers. mentions of breeding kink, accidentally cumming inside, mentions of plan B
Immersivity: reader can get periods, is fem, can be picked up.
This is my submission for Triple Frontier Write-a-Thon !!! come join in the fun and follow @triplefrontier-anniversary to find more fics!!!
840 words
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“OOOOOWWWWWW!” You wine on your stomach, Santi knelt behind you.
“I know baby, I know, you’re doing so, so good.”
You were lying on a heating pad, your cramps killing you. It fucking hurt. Santi was massaging your lower back, which also hurt.
“Shut up!” You snap, then immediately apologize. “I’m soooorrryyyyyy”
“It’s okay, it’s alright.” This had been going on all day. You felt bad for snapping at him when he was trying to help, but god today was awful. 
Santi had to pick you up at work, bringing Ben to drive your car home because you felt so faint. After getting home, Santi wrapped an arm around you to make sure you didn’t pass out before getting you set up in bed. It. HURT. It hurt so bad everyone in your torso and you just cried half the day away. The only time you were off the heating pad was to cry and poop and maybe throw up a bit. This was not Santi’s first rodeo with your horrific periods, and he took good care of you. Luckily, things had eased a bit by this point, although still painful, it was not unbearable.
YOur voice is muffled from the pillow. “Santi, I need you to fuck me.”
This was not what he was expecting from his pained girlfriend, face down in the pillow unable to watch The Office he had put on just for her. Santi hated The Office, he was a Parks and Rec man himself.
“Oh. Like… with my dick?”
You lift your head off the pillow. “No, with a beer bottle-  yes with your dick, Santi! I heard from Will’s wife that orgasms help periods.”
“You talk about sex with Lana?”
“Oh yeah, all the time. Did you know sometimes when he eats her out he’ll put his-”
Santi shoved your face back into the pillow.
*
Santi set it up after helping you get up to remove your period cup, placing a towel down on the bed. You came back without bottoms but your Star Wars t-shirt still on, which Santi understood. This was to help your cramps, not his pleasure. Wasn’t his fault you still looked sexy as hell with your grumpy little pouty face, giving him a boner. Santi tried to touch you, but you snapped back.
“I’m clearly already soaked, Garci.”
He swatted your ass. “The goal is to make you cum, carino not to shove my dick in the wettest hole.
You mocked his words in a high-pitched tone, layed back down on the heating pad. God this was awful. You needed to see a doctor about this, you couldn’t go on this way. Santi’s fingers were- ohfuckinghellowowowowowwww- they were fucking magical. You’d admit his pussy eating game was not where it could be, but honestly neither was your head game. It worked. What mattered was your pussy was gorilla grip and he had a massive shlong he knew how to use, and god DAMN his FINGERS. It wasn’t long before you were moaning, Santi sliding hot cock into your bleeding cunt, fucking your brains away. Fuck it felt nice. Your tummy still hurt.
“Owwwww” You moan.
He slowed. “You okay?”
“No I’m dying!”
He sighs. “You’re going to the gyno tomorrow, right?”
“UUUGGHHHH” you kick your feet. “Yes just fuck me!!”
You’re on the verge of cumming, Santi’s cock hitting nice and deep just the way you liked it when- 
“OOOWW!!!!” You shout, clamping down hard as you had a butthole cramp “OW OW OW OW OW!!!!”
Santi mumbles some swear words, pulling out of you “Shit, baby are you okay?” His hands are warm on you, desperately looking if he hurt you.
“Yeah…” You mumble, rolling over onto your back. “I got a butthole cramp… Maybe this isn’t working.”
“Yeah, maybe not. I can still do it with these bad boys though!” Santi wiggles his blood covered fingers with a dopey grin on his face.
You laugh, sitting up to kiss him when you notice. His dick gone soft and although red, was leaking white. “Santi.” You give him a pointed look. “Did me yelling in pain make you cum inside me?”
His eyes are wide with panic. “NO! No that’s not it! You just-” He stopped himself, looking nervous so you give him a break and chuckle.
“I just what, baby?”
He groans loudly, but mutters when he speaks. “Just so tight.”
You tackle him, tickling Santi’s body, not caring that both of you are bloody. “You’re a 40 year old man, your pull out game is ASS!” You’re both laughing, rolling around on the bed and forgetting about your pain for a moment.
“I”LL BUY PLAN B!” Santiago picks you up, tossing you on the mattress and climbs on top as you bounce.
“YOU SHOULD’VE BOUGHT PLAN CONDOMS! YOU’RE GONNA NEED TO BUY PLAN BABY CARRIER IF YOU DON’T STOP!” You playfully bite his arm. 
“OW!” He pinned you down. “Oh nooooo, breeding my beautiful girlfriend, whatever will I do!”
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thank you guys!!!! i really hope you take part in the write a thon, spread our love for triple frontier!!!! santi is my most special guy!
i did a poll today with what blorbo you associate me with and santi has ben the winner so far
anyway, this is just a starter for the write a thon bc i at LEAST want my santi x will fic an them something different, i really wanna branch out with something.... different. im not sure with what yet! also: part 2 of puzzle pieces with benny
lots coming in addition to my other works and a commsission.
anyway, love yall!
make sure to follow @romana-updates for more!
@fandxmslxt69 @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @whatthefishh @k-ra @eyelessfaces @ivystoryweaver @steven-grants-world @campingwiththecharmings @ahookedheroespureheart @littlenosoul @miraclesabound @mikaelak @runa-falls @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @scarletthefierce @faretheeoscar @del-ightfulling @boysddontcry @mrsoharaxx @pedge-page @vickie5446 @readingiskeepingmegoing @survivingandenduring
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thanksjro · 1 month
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More Than Meets the Eye #51 — Ten Has Done So Much for All of You, and for What? You Don't Deserve Him.
So, obviously, last issue ended rather poorly for Team Rodimus and Pals. It doesn’t look like the start of this one going much better, as a mass of baddies bombard the late Necrobot’s “Fortress”. Whirl, being Whirl, wants to go out and face his certain death head-on. Everyone else is more than fine to wait for death to come to them.
Rewind, showing off the skills he’s picked up as a videographer over the last several thousand years, gets the security cameras up. I’m assuming that Censere had these installed to keep an eye out for bored space teens who might have wanted to graffiti his millions of plinths. Too bad it didn’t save him, or his property, as outside, Tarn is shooting the ground with his twin fusion cannons. He’s having to hold his arm in place with his other hand, as I’m sure the kickback of firing two lasers at once must be something fierce. He finishes and commands his troops to cease firing, everyone withdrawing.
The Lost Lost Lighters are super jazzed about this, Brainstorm stating that they must have heard about Tailgate’s Power Punch, an attack with a name so banal, it surely must kill anyone who faces it, if only so they don’t talk shit about it after the fact.
Megatron, however, knows what Tarn’s pulling, as he’s a theatre kid, and everyone knows that the really intense theatre kids follow their scripts to a T, and will murder you for trying to ad lib like some filthy fucking improv performer.
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By doing this, he’s honoring Shakespeare.
Swerve has begun to bawl like a baby over how bad the situation has gotten, likely recalling all the awful shit he witnessed the last time he crossed paths with the DJD. Magnus, who still has his arm off, because Velocity is all about uplifting her fellow women, demands that they try to call for assistance, then apologizes for swearing, even though he’s absolutely at the very least said “damn” in the past. Maybe he’s confusing the total inability to curse with the IDW publication law that you’re not allowed to say “bitch” until your series has been truncated by 50%. Or maybe he only allows himself to swear in the presence of poor snack management. Anyway, it’s not like it matters— Megatron’s just informed everyone that Tarn also likes to cut the phone lines in situations like this.
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All of this, because you wanted middle management for your faction.
Because Megatron never baked any sort of loophole into the DJD’s way of handling shit, because how the fuck could he have possibly known he’d one day have to denounce his entire reason for existing to satisfy the commercial whims of Hasbro, the gang is going to have to figure out some way to defend themselves or escape in the next eight hours. Rodimus orders everyone to split up and look for clues, blowing off Ten in the process.
Velocity calls Swerve, the closest thing to a doctor besides her, to come look at the Necrobot’s corpse, which appears to have turned into a pile of ash. Swerve informs her that this is what happens when someone who’s old as balls kicks it. Now, it may concern you that Velocity, who was the only doctor for a ship of over 200 until this morning, doesn’t know what a dead old man looks like. However, we must recall that age-related spark burnout hasn’t been a thing until very recently for Cybertronians, and Caminus, the colony Velocity is from, is marginally younger as a society. It probably just hasn’t happened in her circles yet.
Velocity and Swerve play around in the pile of old man dust, until she pulls a key out, with “1/001” written on it. Her search party will be focusing on finding what this key goes to, as it was surely important, given that it was on Censere’s person at the time of his death.
Over on the DJD’s ship, The Peaceful Tyranny, Deathsaurus stares at the corpses Tarn’s nailed to the wall of his room. The nails have Decepticon insignias on the heads, because of course they do. These are the same corpses Tarn had on the wall of his office in Grindcore. Tarn asks if Deathsaurus is impressed with his first editions, and when Deathsaurus is understandably bewildered by this question, Tarn explains that these are corpses that were sent home after dying in the mines of Messatine, who had Megatron’s writing etched into their organs by Terminus, so that said writing would reach the outside world. Tarn thinks it’s pretty fucking cool, but Deathsaurus is, again, bewildered by this interior design choice. In general, Deathsaurus is bewildered by a vast majority of the ways Tarn chooses to live his life.
Tarn, opening the mouth section of his mask to drink a shot’s worth of energon, likely totally unable to see as he does so, since the eye holes don’t line up anymore, says that if Deathsaurus was a true intellectual like Tarn was, he’d understand that trying to chase down a ship with quantum jump capabilities is really difficult when you no longer have a sneaky little double agent to give you exact coordinates, so grounding their targets was the best option. No word on how Tarn feels about the ship he super-nightmare-death-murdered being perfectly fine now.
Deathsaurus really just wants to know why they backed off after having their targets cornered, because he hates Tarn and his stupid little games, having been working with him for at least a couple months by this point. Tarn, however, has the audacity to be smug about how all the Autobots are probably tearing each other apart out of fear, as the sun makes its way across the sky.
Back with Velocity’s search party, Nautica’s joined the one-and-a-half doctors in the Key Quest. Velocity asks Swerve about why Ten came down with the rest of the group, and in Swerve’s defense, it’s not like anyone knew this was a murder trip until after they’d arrived. When the brain attack happened last issue, Swerve hadn’t disclosed what exactly he’d heard— now, however, he admits that he’d gotten an earful from Ten about the Ambus Test, and how just because he’s made up of the corpses of multiple religious hermits doesn’t mean he isn’t a person too, and also once that union gets going, he’s gonna sic lawyer-mode Magnus on him.
Anyway, they found the door that key went to.
Back with Rodimus in the main room, he’s collecting the notes of all the other search teams. Rung’s face has been shaded to look like he got lip fillers. Rodimus isn’t pleased, but it isn’t because of Rung’s gotten work done.
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Nightbeat, however, DOES have good news to pair off with the bad. News so good he starts using metaphors, which confuses and frightens Magnus. Nightbeat has found the quantum travel device the Necrobot used to travel to the deaths he recorded, and what do you know? It’s got just enough juice to get everyone out of dodge and into the loving embrace of safety. Hooray! Time to form an orderly queue, going from most to least obnoxious paint job.
Then Team Killjoy shows up, Velocity and Nautica letting everyone know what’s behind door #1: it’s a bunch of organics in stasis.
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I will say, the inverse of Transformers fans collecting robot toys mint in package is decidedly more disturbing.
Whirl isn’t horribly keen to die over a bunch of squishy nobodies. Nautica states that the organics are vulnerable and need protection. Skids, really wanting to be in that straight-passing relationship, agrees that the DJD will totally kill these guys, because they learned their technoism from SOMEONE MEGATRON. Chromedome, who has had his husband back for maybe six months at this point, really doesn’t want to stick around for the sun to set. Cyclonus asks just why the fuck there’s a bunch of dudes in the basement. Tailgate wonders if it really matters, considering the situation at hand. Magnus, needing direction in his life, makes sure that Rodimus hasn’t decided to take a nap standing up like a horse. Brainstorm, who has been oh-so-subtly trying to edge the door to the quantum tube shut, makes the point that they could do a lot of good after the fact, if they left now and then vowed to protect a slew of organics afterwards, which would eventually even out their sins, probably.
Rodimus feels pretty good about this proposal, but he loves looking like the most appealing, middle-of-the-road choice, and says that they have some time to talk this out. However, we’ve forgotten that we’re riding with Mr. Ex-Peace Through Tyranny, who does nothing in half-measures and loves to be contrarian to Rodimus at every given opportunity.
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This turn of events is such a shock to Rodimus, he shouts at Ten for trying to show him something. Poor Ten.
Rodimus reminds Megatron just what exactly they’re up against and what he’s signing himself up for and for what variety of living creature, but Megatron is aware of all of these things. Looks like the talking to Skids gave him on the duplicate Lost Light finally sank through his thick skull, and he’s ready to be a big boy about this whole Autobot thing. He then informs everyone that he’s not doing this to make a point, and that anyone who wants to dip is welcome to do so, as long as they’re doing it for themselves.
Of course, it’ll be a cold day in hell before any Autobot lets Megatron out-Autobot them, and it’ll be an even colder day before Cyclonus leaves his not-boyfriend alone on Murder Planet. Oh, and the fact that organic life is just as valuable as mechanical. Totally. Everyone defaults to stay, Rodimus closing the door to the quantum tube.
Swerve then offers a real heel-clicker of an alternate escape plan: what if… we just stole the DJD’s ship, stuffed it full of the organics, and flew away before anyone noticed? Now, this is, of course, an immaculate plan, which no man could ever find fault in, but Whirl is not a man, but rather a machine, and does question where exactly they’d be getting the keys to such a ship. Cyclonus is trying to be a bit more of a supportive friend to Swerve, since the last time the guy felt left out, they all had to project their consciousnesses 400 miles out and pay NYC rent, asks if there is more to this perfect, perfect plan, crafted in one of the finest minds of any generation.
There is not.
So, we’re gonna steal a ship.
Ravage offers to track the smell of unwashed bachelors and Megatron body pillows to see where the DJD parked. Rodimus gives him his blessing, marveling at the skillset at his disposal, as Magnus makes a fucking wild face of incredulousness and Ten sulks in the corner.
Before he runs off, Ravage brings Megatron a phone and asks that he talk to Tarn, because surely if anyone can get him off the warpath, it would be his old boss.
Back at the Peaceful Tyranny, Tarn, Deathsaurus, Nickel, Tesarus, and Vos are going over the plan for the day. Sure hope Deathsaurus can parse Primal Vernacular. Tesarus reminds Tarn of the time they went after Heretech and he turned a storm shield into a forcefield that held them off for days, but this band of Autobot nerds aren’t Heretech, now are they? Even if they do have an ex-Wrecker, a Skids, and the power of love on their side.
Then Tarn tells everyone to shut the fuck up, because he’s getting a call on his electric razor.
Back at the “Fortress”, Megatron stands astride the space scooter, looking horribly depressed, as he prepares to have a little chat with his most murderous fanboy. Rodimus questions this decision, having clocked that even on his best day, Megatron wouldn’t just whole-heartedly decide to effectively kill himself for the sake of 50-60 organics he doesn’t even know.
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Of course, we’ve seen that at least one planet in the Magisterian system still has life, as the Scavengers had to use holomatter avatars at some point, as seen in issue #45. Perhaps if Megatron knew about this, he wouldn’t be so keen to go on a suicide mission.
Over with Ravage, he passes by Skids’s plinth, which I’m sure isn’t an omen of any kind, and discovers that the smell of B.O. and hot pockets he was following wasn’t attached to the Peaceful Tyranny, but rather a base the DJD and Deathsaurus’s boys threw together. Also, Ten’s been crawling after him in an attempt to keep hidden this whole time, over what was likely multiple miles. He didn’t do a good job in the slightest, but points for tenacity, buddy. Ravage understands that Ten’s just trying to help in some form or fashion, so Ravage gives him a special job: bullet sponge.
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Deathsaurus’s men, Helex, Kaon, and the Pet all see Ten up on the hill. Kaon in particular looks very excited at the promise of a plaything, so much so that he lets his rabid little chihuahua off-leash.
Meanwhile, Megatron races across his personal field of spark flowers, on his way to rendezvous at his plinth with Tarn. I wonder who suggested this meeting spot? When Megatron arrives, he demands that Tarn at least face him with his, well, face, but Tarn says that his mask IS his face, even though we know it isn’t, because Tarn couldn’t commit to the bit hard enough on this particular front for some reason.
Megatron offers himself up for surrender. But enough about his crisis of morality, let’s get back to Ten.
Ten, former Legislator that he is, fights valiantly, throwing four guys in the air at once, even as the Pet scratches his collar bone and Helex punches him in the head, his face telling me that he’s gonna do horny mouth shit with Ten’s brain if he manages to get ahold of it. Kaon’s in the background, shooting electricity into the sky. I think he’s just happy to be here. This nonsense up on the hill allows Ravage to sneak over to the base to check for a ship that DOESN’T smell like wine, jockstraps, and viscera.
Back with the Autobots, someone finally remembers that Ten’s a person, and asks where the hell he’s gotten to. Magnus isn’t sure, though he knows where he HAD been. I expect better from you, Magnus. Ten is your little buddy! Your brother in artistic arms! He even left something for your enjoyment, while he went out to help Ravage!
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After having solved the issue of their defense system, Ten went out and got his ass shredded for multiple pages, where he was repeatedly shot and set on fire and torn limb from limb and electrocuted (I guess someone finally pointed Kaon in the right direction). It seems like the end for Ten, but his assailants are suddenly shot and dealt with, blanketing the hill in silence.
Silent enough to hear the equivalent of twenty USD in Australian dollaridoos, having been converted into English pounds, rustling around in a British guy’s wallet.
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