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nothisis-ridiculous · 3 years

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Take Me Home Now: Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten: Another Mother's Breakin'

Set after the events of ME3.

A rewrite. Ao3.

FemShepxKaidan

"Jane."

The recruit let the knocking go on for a third round, slowly shaking herself from the rickety cot. While these digs were nothing as fancy as the bunk back at the mall, the privacy was a paradise. Blank, dull, metal-lined walls were a price she was willing to pay over the colorful and plant-lined walls of the barracks. The humming noise of life rebuilding, no she belonged in the silence.

"Jane." This time her name was a statement, backed by a hint of threat.

"Just a moment," she groaned, rubbing the crust from the inner corners of her eyes, pushing sore muscles upright and forcing a shirt over her head but allowing it to fall at its own pace. Her pupils narrowed at the sudden influx of light filling her half of the crate, "morning?"

Helen looked her up and down, that damned frown a returning friend, "you should put a comb through that hair."

"For fuck's sa-"

The woman made a sudden jerk, but it stopped with a simple raising of her arm, brushing aside a fallen lash, "language, dear."

"Sorry," Jane's eyebrows narrowed, had she forgotten she was not a child, "why are you here?"

"Because we are going out."

"Don't I have three more days?" Jane returned.

The older woman in a rare admittance of defeat sighed, offering back a raised eyebrow, "you're well aware that was a ruse."

"I knew it!" she didn't.

"Yes, let's be proud that you are stubborn as they warned," Helen retorted with a hint of a smirk, "but you should be ready. I'm not going to let you slide and get breakfast, either!"

Yes, this encampment was a military installment, but it gave no reason to ready herself with the rest of the soldiers. Since Rahna had given up on her she did little to get out of her bunk. So far, her secret remained, but pushing it by becoming a regular around camp seemed too big of a risk. Evelyn gave her some reason to get out, but the kid quickly found friends. Within days she was no longer needed, though the shit still visited at least once a day that prodded her into some form of semblance. The lack of duties cemented her decision to remain secluded, bidding her time with the running videos in her head.

"So why me?" Jane pressed once they cleared the base by a few thousand meters, pulling the ration bar from her mouth.

The woman's dark eyes turned cross, "and don't you waste those rations."

"You'll never want them again after fresh produce," Jane murmured, swallowing down the bland brick of nutrition in three bites.

"The second reason for coming out here," Helen handed over a pistol, "fresh meat and pest removal."

"You know, someplace on Illium would sell Varren skewers as a delicacy," Jane overlooked the pistol with a grin, "man, could that krogan grill up a mean varren skewer."

"The pistol is back up; you should use biotics. No stunts," she warned without heed of her companion's previous comment.

"I'm a paragon of caution," Jane mumbled in response, deciding then it was best to follow after the woman in silence. Pausing only as her leader stopped.

"No stunts," a finger waggled at her, "that kid and her grandfather want you back, and I intend to see that through, despite your best attempts."

Jane giggled, "the LT would love that one."

"Dismiss it all you like, whinge that someone cares about your sorry hide," the woman spat, "you're being selfish. Everyone is hurting if you haven't noticed."

Jane's face drew blank, "while it's true, doesn't it feel better to be pissed off? To be angry that everything is changed? Fuck everyone else. I'm hurting." She looked over the horizon, directly into the blue beam that connected to the Citadel. It seemed so tiny from here, so insignificant.

Helen's gaze followed Jane's gaze, "trying to remember how much worse it could be rarely helps."

"I like to make myself feel better by telling myself that I'm angering out of grief; it's one of the stages, right? But what is there after it? I don't want to let it go and accept my world is gone," Jane's voice mellowed to a whisper, "acceptance is terrifying. It means you have to move forward."

They shared a silent moment together, connecting with a brief touch—neither alone as they thought.

"Who did you lose?"

"My heart."

"Who did you lose?"

"...my heart."

Horizon- Horizon was an awkward fumbling in the dark. An overhanded display The Illusive Man decided to lord over her. He knew her strings and just how to pluck them to make her dance to his tune. Pulling Kaidan into the entire mess with the Collectors was a threat. But as messy and powerless as the knowledge of what the Illusive Man would take from her was the undercurrent of hope. It was foolish to be caught up in the giddy excitement of returned love, But Kaidan loved her. The first confession and bitter tug on her heart. She should have told him then.

Mars- Mars was just as awkward. Running, sliding, and dodging bullets after months of being cooped up in a small apartment awaiting trial. Sideways glances, and a Major who wouldn't stop dogging her every step. He questioned, prodded, and accused her of terrible things. Granted, she well deserved it. He was so close, so in sync as if the years were mere minutes... yet the distance between them was a canyon wide. But the Major loved her, even if it was once upon a time. A lighthearted exchange broke some of the tension, but she still should have told him then.

The Citadel- "What's up" had to be the lamest greeting after an armed standoff. Not a clasping hug, not a gentle smile, instead she vocalized her worry that he was angry. She hadn't taken the shot at Udina, and she had made Kaidan make that impossible decision. To trust her word, to trust an ex-terrorist. It was too much to ask of anyone- but now she was someone he was in love with. Not a past tense, a was, but a current thing. Still, she fumbled, asking him to let her have it and killing any hope of a romantic reunion. Her stolen glances at his backside caught in the act gave him a sheepish glance away and not the confession he was owed.

The Citadel Pt. II- After a shamelessly little amount of convincing, she had found herself in a dress. It was supposed to be simple- a snack on the Citadel. But she had hoped for more, the flirting, the longing stares, compliments, and a little bit of girlish enthusiasm from Kaidan she dared to think they had a chance. It was the first 'I love you' the extra 'I always have' sending her heart fluttering into erratics that she fought to control, lest she make a scene. The graze of his tender lips against her palm relinquished any grasp she had left on that errant heart, the thundering of the heartbeat clouding her brain. The jealousy the rest of her skin felt for her palm stealing another confession.

2181 Despoina- Kaidan would always rue his attraction to adventurous women. Not the woman, but the spark that drove him there. She was always at risk; her daily amount of adventure qualified as a heroic event for most other citizens of the galaxy. For her, it was a normal Tuesday night. But still, he worried, and still, he continued to love her for the constant stress she brought him. Loved her recklessness because it was as much part of her as her freckles. In the wordless hours of the night, his grip always tighter after a harrowing encounter, she was silent.

The Normandy- Neither of them wanted a quick drink. It was a little silly, after all these years, after all his confessions, to still feel insecure about inviting Kaidan up to her cabin. Instead of being direct, he invented the excuse of a short drink to see her. To comfort each other- when they both knew they needed it. Everything felt so final, the end a ticking bomb, an end to the short time they had together. She found strength in him, a safety in knowing she had someone that would catch her. He loved her openly and proudly. He loved her without needing the words returned.

London- It was unreal, after three years finally approaching the finish line. Loss and love in equal measure. Now, it was time for her to go it alone. It was unnatural, and she fought against the notion. She didn't want to be alone- not at the end. Not after this blissful glimpse into the way love had brightened every facet of her being. Kaidan would gladly face a bitter end with her, going arm in arm to meet Garrus at the bar. But it was a fucked kind of love that pushed her to make him leave. The same love that screamed at him to get the hell off the Normandy, the love that now albeit gently pleaded with him to live. It wasn't a roar or a cry of victory but a rumble- a tender declaration. Kaidan knew, even if it took him repeating his love a thousand times over. Six was a good number, short. The heart knew it was needed.

"So refresh my memory," Jane questioned in a whisper, trying not to draw the entire den of Varren upon them at once, "just how many we are planning on bringing back?"

"Are you that keen on vaporizing them all?"

"I certainly can."

"Wouldn't that defeat one of our goals?"

"Well, I don't think you accounted for the transportation of a Varren," Jane noted, looking behind them at the lack of vessel to transport said game.

Jane was ignored with a huff, the woman peering around a blockade, "I want that one."

Jane took a look, the brown striped specimen had to top the list of heaviest varren she had seen, "seriously?"

"Yes. Jane."

"Aye, Aye, Ma'am."

There wasn't time for a seething look or the smarmy reply that would have followed. The creature floated, air-bound as if the weight of the animal defied gravity. It kicked at the air, unable to stop itself from moving toward the barrier that blocked the scent of view of its hunters. Jane yanked her hand forward, dragging against the invisible weight. It felt good, if not for the shred of panic that she might lose time again. The tell-tale sign of blood was not forthcoming.

The blast of sound ricocheting through the plaza quickly overcame any remaining fear.

"Whatever you do, do not approach these things," the recruit barked, yanking the older woman into the corner spot, "they will overwhelm you if they get close."

"Aye, Aye, Ma'am."

The pack burst from all corners, running full boar in the direction of their fallen packmate. Several running members fell in the chaos, while a line of biotic energy sent the group careening into nearby walls and structures. For what inexperience was worth, Helen held up well, keeping up trained focus on the beasts. The old lady had precision aim, wasting hardly a clip during the charge. Jane didn't have to pick up much slack. Now, if there were a third member, everything would be peachy.

The square was silent for a count of three before a single varren cried out loudly.

The alpha was on scene.

While she had not promised to keep from committing to a hair-brained stunt, biotic shockwaves and lifts were boring. A teenage biotic could perform these moves without a sweat, a N7 needed a challenge. She needed the thrill. Blue waves coalesced and pulsed around her form, the familiar vibration against her skin pleasurable. A fluid vault over the barrier propelling her charge into the lone Varren, sending it toppling from the blow. Jane dove for it, pummeling it with blasts of biotic energy until her knuckles bled.

This was no longer a stunt but a method of release.

"Seems those biotics are back online," Helen murmured, wiping something from her eyes.

Jane cocked her head, "where'd you learn to shoot?"

"That? Oh. I thought they'd go out like a coyote."

The blonde smirked, dismounting the alpha's corpse, wiping her fists against a clean portion of the animal's hide. Nothing from Tuchanka went down quietly.

Helen stood over her prize, after a long minute she looked at Jane expectantly, "aren't you going to grab that?"

"Your trophy, your struggle," Jane folded her arms in return, a sly grin crossing her face, "besides, by the way we snuck out of that base, I don't need any more blame for this... what would you call this, stunt?"

"We did not sneak-" but the woman's face betrayed her guilt.

"Yeah, it's normal procedure to hop a barricade at the precise moment the guard changed," Jane knew a thing or two about sneaking out. She'd even stolen a ship twice.

Helen didn't have to struggle with the corpse long before Jane took pity on the woman; she had an unfair advantage anyway. Genetic enhancements, bone grafting, and a little biotic lifting. Unfortunately, she would still be sore when they got back to base.

"Why the need to sneak out anyway? I'm sure you could have roped anyone into helping you," Jane was under no illusion that the woman had any particular like for her, if anything, the woman looked at her with increasing scrutiny.

"None of them would dare."

"Oh?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Jane understood the sentiment completely.

#fshenko #mass effect fancition #shenko #kaidan alenko #femshep x kaidan #take me home

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bellemorte180 · 4 years

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Just Good Business: Chapter One

Caroline Salvatore, married into one of New York's most brutal crime families.

Niklaus Mikaelson, a notorious mob boss who is hell bent on taking down the Salvatore brothers.

It's an affair for the ages.

Based on my drabble under the same name.

@itsnotacrimetoloveyou, this is for you

WARNING: There are depictions of graphic violence, sex, suicidal thoughts and domestic abuse. This is not a light and fluffy story.

Chapter One

Caroline looked around the ballroom, seeing the elegance and glamour that lingered from the chandleries to the champagne that flowed in their flutes. New York’s richest gathered in order to flaunt their wealth, make shady deals and cover up their crimes. The party was nothing more than various alibis for a series of crimes that were bound to happen in the early hours of the morning. She used to love these parties, but that was before she realized what these people were capable of. What she was capable of.

She picked up her own glass and drank the champagne but the taste seemed lacking to her; much like everything else in her life. To the world at large, she lived in a big mansion with a rich husband and connections that reached farther than the average person. What Caroline saw was a gilded cage and a pillow made of silk, suffocating the life out of her.

She was Caroline Salvatore; Upper East Side Socialite married to one of the richest men in the city. Friends from the richest of families that cared little for her. A life everyone dreamed about.

As she downed the rest of her drink, allowing the alcohol to fog up her senses, she saw a hand outstretch to her. She looked over and saw her husband, Stefan Salvatore. He was handsome, she supposed but then again, she found nothing redeemable about him. He cared little for her and she cried as she walked down the aisle to him. The moment their names were etched onto the marriage certificate, he locked her away in a glamorous hell that Caroline had no means of escaping. He would kill her first if she even dared tried.

“Dance with me.” Stefan demanded. Caroline placed her glass down on the table and linked her hand with his. He led her to the dance-floor. He took her into his arms and spun her around, pretending to be the devoted husband he promised her mother he would be. “You’re not smiling. We cannot have our friends thinking our marriage is in trouble.”

“Friends? You don’t have friends.” Caroline replied and Stefan’s grip grew tighter. She knew that if he didn’t let go of her soon, his fingers would leave bruise marks on her skin. It wouldn’t be the first time and there were times that Caroline wished he would cross that line; kill her and be done with it.

“Enemies then.” Stefan retorted and it took everything in Caroline not to roll her eyes at him. “We are surrounded by people who given the right opportunity, would love to strike us down. Now, I need my wife to be happy. If you’re not smiling, laughing and being the social butterfly, I was promised when we married last year, our enemies will know that this is nothing more than a sham.”

And it was. Their marriage was nothing more than a business transaction that neither of them wanted. However, her mother needed some of her less than savory dealings covered up in order to stay Chief of Police and the Salvatore brothers were more than willing to oblige…. for a price. They wanted an in with the police and who better than the Chief? Caroline was nothing more than a bargaining chip; a life long hostage handed over for safe keeping to ensure that Elizabeth Forbes stayed in line.

“No. We wouldn’t want that.” Caroline forced a smile on her face. Stefan laughed and she could see that twinkle in his eye that he used moments before he killed. The Ripper. Untouchable. Uncontrollable. A man who thrived on the kill; and that man spun her around as though she was nothing more than a rag doll. “Better?”

“Perfect.” His voice was harsh and cold but Caroline had grown us to that by now. It was the only tone he ever used with her. “Now. I have a business meeting tonight. I won’t be home till late. Don’t wait up.”

Stefan leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips before leaving her on the dance-floor. Seconds after his eyes were off of her, Caroline felt her mask fall. She saw a waiter walk by and she grabbed another glass of champagne. She weaved her way through the crowed. Passing ‘friends’ along the way such as Aurora de Martel or Haley Marshall; two-woman Stefan approved of because neither one asked to many questions. She saw Elena and Damon, dancing, drinking and laughing. They seemed perfect together but Caroline knew more. Damon was calculating and willing to do whatever it took to protect what was his. Elena was his; but there was something false behind Elena’s smiles. She was selfish in a way that made Caroline’s head spin. Their marriage was as much as a sham as Caroline’s. The terrifying part was that Damon did not realize it.

Not wanting to see the sight of them, she made her way through and unopened door. She wondered down the hall of the Four Season until she reached a utility door with the bright red words of exit’ hanging above the door. On a whim, Caroline pushed the door open and entered the stairway. She went up and up until she couldn’t anymore. She tried the door at the very top and to her surprise it was unlocked. It was the rooftop.

Caroline took in the view of the city. Even in darkest places of her mind, she could not help but admit that New York was beautiful. There was a life to it that was vibrant and pulsing. Especially at night when the city lights illuminated the buildings and the people. Caroline drained her glass and tossed it to the side, hearing the glass shatter on the ground. She kicked off her heels, allowing her feet to touch the concrete and walked toward the edge. She looked down the fifty-two stories.

Stefan and Damon wanted to paint a picture of the perfect life for the world to see. Both brothers happily married to beautiful women. Caroline wondered what the world would think if they found Caroline’s body on the ground after jumping those fifty-two stories. It would be instantaneous; hitting the ground. It would be better than suffering the life she had now. It would also show the world that maybe something was not right with the Salvatore brothers.

Caroline, carefully, eased her way up onto the ledge and looked down. It was high up and she could feel the wind of the cool February air. She was cold but she did not care. Her gown was a held up by thin white straps. Her bodice made of white lace while her deep navy skirt with a slit up the side. She looked beautiful and for a moment she wondered if her corpse would be gorgeous once it hit the ground. She didn’t care. If it put a notch in taking down Stefan, then her death would be worth something.

“Are you sure you want to do that Sweetheart?” A voice sounded from behind her. She turned to look over her shoulder and saw a handsome man standing behind her. He was in a tux, much like the rest of the men at the party. Stefan always spent a large amount of time on his hair but this man allowed his blonde locks loose. He was looking at her with curiosity; a look that alarmed Caroline slightly.

She knew exactly who he was.

Klaus Mikaelson. Head of the Mikaelson crime family and possibly the most dangerous man in this city. She had seen him from afar and heard Damon curse him enough times to know that he was no friend to either Stefan or Damon.

“What does it matter to you?”

“A beautiful woman like yourself contemplating taking her life?” Klaus walked up to the edge and leaned against it. “I think that matters to me greatly.”

“Why? Would you rather push me yourself?”

“I could.” Caroline tensed. He would do it to. He would push her and turn around, not thinking twice. If Caroline was going to die, she wanted it to be on her terms. She refused to be a pawn in this feud any longer. “If you really want me to. If you believe that your life has no meaning. I thought about it myself once or twice over the years, truth be told. But I’ll let you in on a little secret, there is a whole world out there waiting for you. Great cities and art and music and genuine beauty. And you can have it all. All you have to do is ask.”

“Ask what?” Caroline bit back. The life he painted was one she once craved. She wanted to have the world at her fingertips, not locked away; a doll only brought out to be paraded around before being tossed aside. The fire in her tone caused Klaus to smile, dimples appearing on his cheeks that made him look far more handsome than before. He held out his hand to her.

“Dance with me.” Caroline looked at his outstretched hand and much like she had done earlier in the evening with Stefan, she placed her hand into his; Klaus helped her off the ledge. He pulled her into his arms and despite the fact that there was no music. His touch was gentle and calming. Caroline felt more at home in his arms than she did of the man she married.

“Do you know who I am?” She whispered.

“You’re Caroline Salvatore, formally Forbes. The wife of Stefan Salvatore. Married just over a year and what a happy marriage it must be if it has you up here contemplating taking your own life.”

“Instead I’m dancing on a roof top with his biggest rival.” Caroline whispered. “Why?”

“So, you have heard of me.” His smile grew wide as though he was proud at the fact that she knew he was a killer, drug lord, king pin or some other name given to those who run and operate a crime family. She knew that he had fingers in all sorts of business; such as that his brother was high up in the FBI and that his reach stretched far beyond New York. He was everything Damon wanted to be and everything he wasn’t. “I followed you up here because I think you and I have a mutual interest.”

“Oh really? And what is that?”

“We both want the Salvatore brother’s dead.” Caroline froze in his arms and her eyes shot up to his. “Come now Sweetheart. We both know it is true. You never wanted to be married to him and are looking for a way out. I’m offering you one. It may not be as instantaneous as jumping from a ledge but the outcome will be far sweeter.” Klaus stepped away and brought her hand to his lips. “Thank on it, love and I’ll see you soon.”

With that, Klaus dropped her hand and headed toward the stairway that lead back down to the party. Caroline watched after him, feeling a slight crack in her prison walls as he went. She looked over to the ledge again, debating. She turned away, bent down and slipped on her shoes. Klaus saw Caroline rejoin the party and a look passed between them; a mutual understanding.

In the wee hours of the morning, Caroline laid in bed thinking about Klaus’s offer. She wanted out of this marriage and divorce was not an option. Her mind turned with the possibility but Caroline just did not know if it was worth the risk. If she betrayed them, she was dead; her mother would be dead and the little Caroline cared for would crumble. Then there was that part of her brain that couldn’t but start the stirrings of desire. A desire to be free.

Before she was able to ponder her fate longer, she heard the bedroom door open. She sat up in bed to see Stefan looking at her. She reached over and turned on the bedside lamp. The light shined and Caroline had to withhold her scream. From head to toe, Stefan was covered in blood. He cocked his head to the side and she could see the mania behind his eyes.

“Come.” Caroline followed his instructions and pulled herself out of the bed. She walked over to him and once she reached him, Stefan placed his hands on her hips; spinning her around. He inhaled the scent of her hair before he tailed a string of kisses down her neck; and Caroline let him. She laid willing for him, as she had always done before. This time was different.

Stefan never fucked her while wearing his victims’ blood before.

In the morning, Caroline cleaned herself the best she could. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she could still feel Stefan’s hands on her and him inside of her, reliving his blood-lust. It made her stomach turn and she needed to get out of the house. She grabbed her bag and coat but when she opened the bedroom door, Stefan stood on the other side of it.

“Where are you going?” Stefan asked in his typical bored voice. In truth, he could care less what she did as long as she stayed in line. As long as she continued to be controllable.

“I don’t know. Shopping maybe. I just need to get out of the house.” Caroline replied. Stefan looked down at her as though he was searching for something; waiting for her to do something. After a moment, he nodded his head and let her pass.

“Take Enzo with you.” With that, Stefan entered their bedroom and closed the door behind him. Enzo. Her ever present bodyguard. In truth, Caroline did not mind Enzo. He was funny and genially tried to make her smile. He let slip once that he didn’t like how Stefan treated her; having found her crying one to many times or cleaned her up when Stefan got too rough. The catch was, he was on Damon’s payroll and betraying his employer was a one-way ticket to an early grave.

Caroline searched out Enzo, telling him she needed to get out of the house and that he was to accompany her. As she climbed into the back of the car, she saw Damon and Elena’s car pull into the drive. She wondered what they were doing there so early but Caroline did not care. She needed to put some distance between herself and Stefan.

“Where to Gorgeous?”

“Anywhere. I don’t care.” Enzo nodded and pulled out of the drive and into calm street of their New York suburb. He drove into the city and Caroline was so lost in her own thoughts that she did not notice that they were in a bad part of town. Enzo pulled into a back alleyway and it wasn’t until the car stopped that Caroline paused. “Where are we?” “You’ll see.” Enzo got out of the car and opened her door, holding out his hand to help her.

“Did Stefan order you to kill me?”

“Even if he did, I wouldn’t.” Enzo smiled at her and she believed him. If anything, he would warn her and let her fake her death. She almost wished Stefan ordered a hit on her and Enzo has her hit man. Caroline looked up to the old abandoned warehouse and rolled her eyes. Enzo led her to a door and opened it. “I promise you; no harm will come to you inside. I won’t let it.”

Caroline nodded and she stepped forward. It was dark inside but there were a few florescent lights that hung from the ceiling, casting enough light to create more shadows. She walked forward, listening to her heels hit the concrete flooring. Enzo walked beside her, seemingly completely at ease. Once the reached a bit further into the warehouse, a man moved out from behind a pillar.

“Klaus.” Caroline whispered.

“Thank you, Enzo, for informing me that Caroline would have a moment alone.” Klaus spoke to other man and Caroline’s eyes traveled between the two of them. She could not fathom what was happening. Enzo worked for her husband and brother-in-law but if he was having dealings with Klaus…

“What?”

“Damon and Stefan are not the only ones who pay me Gorgeous.” Enzo drawled out. He tilted his head towards Klaus. “I work for Klaus.”

“I hired Enzo specifically to infiltrate the Salvatore home. He has been my man for years and when he fed me some interesting information on the state of your marriage, it made me wonder if perhaps, you and I could come to an agreement.” Klaus replied. “I was honest with you last night Sweetheart. We want the same thing.”

“I don’t want to be a pawn in anyone’s game.” Caroline hissed out. She glared at Enzo, not believing what he was bringing into her life. He was risking his life by spying on Stefan and Damon. There was something more in it for him than money. Enzo was not foolish enough to be a double agent without leverage. She could easily turn in him and he would be dead before sunrise. She wouldn’t but the fact that she could was present in the back of her mind. “Not even yours.”

“I know.” Klaus signed. He reached inside his coat jacket and pulled out a small manila envelope. He gave her a pitying look and she could not see the reason behind it. “After the gala last night. Where did your husband go?”

“I don’t know.” Caroline replied, the memory of Stefan covered in blood focused in her mind again. Klaus gave her a sad smile and walked over to her. He handed her the envelope and with hesitant hands, she took it from him. Inside were a series of pictures; pictures of her mother. The scene was bloody and horrifying. Elizabeth Forbes’s head was completely detached from her body and blood was spattered across the room. She knew what that meant. She knew his signature. The memory of Stefan inside her mere hours earlier flashed before her. The blood he wore while he fucked her was her mother’s. “I’m going to be sick.”

She dropped the pictures and ran over to a pillar. She dry-heaved and coughed up the bile that formed in her throat. A hand came up from behind her and pulled the hair from her face. It wasn’t Enzo. The smell of the cologne was different. She turned her head slightly and saw Klaus staring at her. He wore a sympathetic look upon his feathers that Caroline wondered was genuine.

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart.”

“Why? Why did he do this?”

“From what I know, your mother went back on a deal she had with the Salvatore’s. She stepped out of the line they drew for her.” Klaus replied and Caroline closed her eyes. Her mother made her bed and now Caroline was going to face the consequences. She looked at the pictures lying on the ground, knowing that the memory of them would live with her forever. “Stefan went to her last night to…. settle things. I was not made aware of her death until after it happened.”

“And what do you want from me?”

“The same thing I said to you on that rooftop.”

“Bullshit.” Caroline hissed out and Klaus eyed her. He could see the fire behind her ice blue eyes. Enzo reported a lifeless woman who was trapped in a cage, needing to find a way out. He certainly saw her desperation when she stood on that ledge but there was more to Caroline than he realized. She had a quick mind behind that beautiful face and a fire that burned under her skin. She was far stronger than anyone gave her credit for. Klaus quickly found himself wanting to know more.

“Now, now. I’ve killed people for less than the way you just spoke to me.” Caroline’s gaze did not waiver. He could kill her right now and she honestly did not care in that moment. The one person she still cared for was dead. The fact that she did not fear death intrigued him. He had killed many people and they all begged; but it appeared that Caroline would not be one of them. That earned his respect. “My brother Kol was murdered six months ago.”

“I know.” Caroline replied. Stefan and Damon threw a party at his death; a crack in the Mikaelson family, something very hard to do. While they did not murder Kol directly, Damon hired Jeremy Gilbert to do it for them. It was a job they did not trust just anyone to carry out such an important task. No. They hired Elena’s hitman of a brother to do it instead. “The celebration they threw lasted days. I thought it was cruel.”

There was a flash in Klaus’s eyes; something fierce. She could see the monster lingering beneath his beautiful face but she could see that his rage was not directed at her. She knew what a monster looked like who hated her. She slept in his bed every night.

“I want them dead. They took my brother so I plan to take everything from them. Slowly.” Klaus gave Caroline a sinister smile. “I’ve already started. A few financial deals here. A side business there. Damon isn’t as smart as he thinks he is.”

“And where do I play into this?”

“Information.”

“I don’t know anything. As you know, Stefan and I are not on the best of terms.”

“You know more than you think. Much like Enzo, you would filter information to me when you learn it. Your job would be to observe in the only way a wife can and in return, I’ll help you get out of this marriage you despise.” Caroline looked at him and she knew she was contemplating it. “Not now. Think on it. Let me know when you’ve made a decision. But think on this Sweetheart. Wouldn’t you want to revenge on the man who murdered your mother?”

“We should go.” Enzo replied and Caroline nodded. She gave Klaus a look, searching him. She could see that this was far more personal than he was saying. This went far beyond Kol’s death. Klaus was going to rain blood down on this city and one way or another, Caroline was going to be caught in the middle of it.

“Think on it Sweetheart, but know this. While you husband was murdering your mother last night; I was committing a murder of my own.” Caroline shot him a confused look but allowed Enzo to usher her outside and into the car. As she sat in the back of the car, her mind raced.

Her mother was dead. Murdered. Tears fell down her cheeks as her grief took her over. She didn’t hear Enzo’s soothing words from the driver’s seat or see the scenery passing by. Before she realized it, they had pulled into the drive of the home she shared with Stefan; but Caroline could not move. She just continued to cry. When she was able to calm her self down, Enzo opened the door.

The scene Caroline walked into could only be described as chaos. Elena was wailing on the ground, Damon holding her close to his chest. Stefan was looking at the scene in completely fury. Caroline wondered what Stefan would give to be in Damon’s place. By the number of times Stefan whispered Elena’s name in her ear after sex, it did not take a genius to figure out that Stefan was in love with his brother’s wife.

Caroline spotted a series of photos scattered across the floor. She walked slowly over to one and Klaus’s voice rang loud and clear in her ear. While you husband was murdering your mother last night; I was committing a murder of my own. The pictures showed a mutilated body, hanging spread eagle on a giant plank in the shape of a ‘x’.

Jeremy Gilbert was dead. A giant ‘M’ carved into his chest.

She felt Stefan’s presence behind her. She turned to look at him. He saw her bloodshot eyes and her reddened face. He studied her and as always, Caroline wondered what he found when he seemingly peered into, he soul.

“You know. About Elizabeth?”

“Yes. I just heard.”

“It was unavoidable.” With no sympathy, Stefan turned from her and walked over to Elena. She was still screaming in agony, clutching at her brown hair. Damon was whispering to her. The look of compassion he gave Elena caused Caroline’s fury to increase. “This was all Klaus Mikaelson. I promise you we will take him down for this. I will hand you his head on a silver platter.”

Within the next several days, Caroline buried her mother. Elizabeth Forbes had been the Chief of Police and the manner of her death caused a media stir. Caroline found no peace and her funeral was very public. The wake that was held at her home with Stefan felt more like a media circus than a goodbye to her mother. Stefan stayed by her side the entire time, playing the loving husband the entire time. He told the concerned onlookers what a tragedy had befallen their family. He touched the small of her back or held her hand. Each touch made Caroline’s skin burn in anger.

She wanted to claw Stefan’s eyes out from his head. She wanted to hurt him in the worst way possible. Her grief was turning into anger and Caroline found that she was able to hang onto that. She plotted but kept her mask in place. She knew she needed to strike at Stefan and the only way possible to do that would be to do one thing that would hurt him the most; it was a plan that Caroline clung to.

The only relief she found was that Elena couldn’t publicly mourn Jeremy. Jeremy Gilbert was a known fugitive and as far as New York knew, he was still on the run and the siblings were on bad terms. Jeremy was the bad apple while Elena the saint. So, Elena was forced to pretend that her brother was alive but his whereabouts unknown while watching Caroline publicly mourn her loss.

Caroline received all the sympathy.

Caroline was the one who had ability to have a funeral.

Caroline was smiled upon as though she was the center of the universe for a short while.

It was petty but Caroline enjoyed watching Elena’s anger at the fact that she couldn’t show her grief for her brother. It also was tempting to smile when an arrangement of flowers, rubbing salt into Elena’s wound.

I’m sorry for your losses. K. M.

In that moment, Caroline made her decision. She knew what her answer was. Once the last person from the wake left her house and Stefan was able to drop the act of being the worried husband, Caroline could not stand looking at any of them for another second.

“I need to go.” She reached for her purse, not carrying that she was still in the tight black dress and stilettos. She looked the part of a wealthy woman of the Upper East Side who was in mourning. She looked the part and could care less if it was bad timing. She should change at the very least; shed the mourning clothes from her body. Instead she grabbed her thick black coat and slipped it on.

“Go where?” Stefan asked.

“I don’t know. I just need to think.”

“You’re staying.”

“Let her go Stefan.” Elena’s voice chimed in. Her tone had a dead ring to it. It wasn’t that Elena was looking at her cruelly, but just in annoyance. Elena and Caroline’s relationship had always been complicated. Neither one would call it friendship, although to the outside world Elena claimed to be Caroline’s best friend. They smiled and laughed together when the cameras were on them but pulled apart the moment they turned away. “She just lost her mom. She is grieving.”

“Take Enzo with you.” Stefan commanded, never being able to deny Elena anything. Enzo, who was standing in earshot appeared quickly and followed Caroline out of the house. She was moving like a bat out of hell and just needed to get away from that house. She slid into the back of the car, calming her breath as best as she could.

“Where to?”

“You know where.” Enzo nodded and drove. He drove for a good while, ensuring that they were not being followed. Damon and Stefan were distracted so it was unlikely they would put anyone else on their trail but Enzo was a professional. He was always precise so he pulled into a parking garage. They got out of the car and Enzo led Caroline to a second vehicle. This was a big SUV, different from the town cars Stefan and Damon preferred to use. More importantly; it wasn’t tracked.

Enzo drove her across town to a tall building. Much like before, he pulled into a parking garage but this time they did not switch cars. He led her to an elevator and pulled out his phone. He punched in a code that had been sent to him and the elevator lifted upward. Once at the top, the doors opened and Caroline realized where she was.

Klaus’s office.

Klaus was standing on the other side perched on the side of his desk. He was unsurprised to see her but then again, she saw Enzo texting on an unfamiliar phone. Klaus was expecting her and Caroline just strolled into his office; never removing her eyes from him.

The office was massive. Windows on one wall that stood from floor to ceiling, providing Klaus with an amazing view of the city. Caroline looked around and saw priceless works of art on the walls. The furniture was expensive and Caroline could not help but applaud the man’s taste. This was where Klaus played with people’s lives; who lived and who died. A shell company much like Stefan and Damon’s, only far older and far more powerful.

“Leave us Enzo.” Caroline commanded. Enzo looked between Klaus and Caroline, unsure if he should leave her alone. Klaus however, nodded to the other man and waited for Enzo to head back down the elevator. Klaus pushed away from the desk and walked over to a bar cart. He poured two tumblers of bourbon and handed her one. Caroline took a few sips before turning back to Klaus, who had been silent but watched her like a hawk. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

“You want to strike at Damon for ordering the hit on your brother.” She took another sip. “Because we both know it was Damon who ordered it, it’s why you’re keener on him than anyone else.”

“Damon flaunted that he was the one who hired the Gilbert boy to murder my brother. Yes.” His eyes lingered over her and she could see the desire pooling in his eyes. He found her fascinating. The entire city had eyes on Caroline since the news of Elizabeth’s murder rang through the streets. An investigation was formed but would go nowhere; they both knew that. The mystery of her death would remain unsolved. Along with the rest of the city, Klaus was watching her; gazing at the woman who could put on the best act of them all.

“And sending him Jeremy Gilbert’s body as a message had the desire effect. I can assure you that.” Klaus cocked his eyebrow at her. She knew that he was aware that using Jeremy would send the desired message to Damon. A message stating that Klaus was coming for him but the truth was far darker than Klaus realized and Caroline was going to spell it out for him. “But I don’t think you realize just how far you went in sending that message.”

“Then tell me.”

“After we met that morning at the warehouse, I went home. I was grieving over my dead mother and when I walked into my front door, I found Elena in my sitting room, wailing as though her heart was being ripped from her chest. Damon was playing the good husband and comforting her.” Caroline rolled her eyes and Klaus’s lips perked up at her annoyance. “Stefan saw it immediately. He knew that I was aware of my mother’s death. He told me it was ‘unavoidable’.”

“Go on.”

“He showed me no remorse or sympathy. He came home that night and fucked me while he still had my mother’s blood on his skin.” Klaus’s eyebrows shot up at that but said nothing. Caroline could not help but notice how his grey-blue eyes grew a hint darker. “He simply walked away from me and then bent down to comfort Elena. He promised to hand your head to her on a silver platter.”

“Interesting.” She could see the calculation behind Klaus’s eyes. What Klaus wanted from her was an understanding on what went on behind closed doors in the Salvatore home. There was only so much Enzo could give him from a business standpoint but Klaus wanted more. He wanted the most personal information on the brothers in order to strike where it hurt the hardest. “And why would Stefan be more concerned with Elena’s pain than his wife’s.”

“Because he is in love with her.” Caroline replied in a matter of fact tone. Klaus stood straighter at that and she could see the million possibilities running through his mind. This he had not known. “The key to destroying all that the Salvatore brother’s hold dear is Elena. You have both of them gunning for your head because you made her cry.”

“Well that is interesting. Perhaps I should just have her killed?”

“You could but that isn’t smart and you know it.”

“Do I?” Klaus asked, testing her; seeing how her beautiful mind worked.

“Kill Elena and all you will have is two very pissed off Salvatore brothers on your hand. They will band together in their grief and strike at you and hard. Nothing is as powerful as the feeling of revenge. Kill Elena and Damon and Stefan will become your worst nightmare.” Klaus was smiling widely at her, a hint of pride etched in his eyes. “But you knew that.”

“Then what is our plan?” Klaus asked. He was testing her, seeing how her mind worked. Typically, Caroline hated being toyed with; she got enough of that at home. However, she wanted to prove to someone that she was more than just a pretty face.

“Turn brother against brother. Use Elena.” Caroline paused. “I don’t know how yet but Elena is the key in doing so. Both love her and both want her. I don’t know if Stefan and Elena are sleeping together but I’ll find out.”

“Then we have a deal.” Klaus stepped towards her and peered down at her. He took the glass from her hand and drank the remanding amber liquid. He was gazing at her and Caroline would not look away. The woman who wanted to jump from that roof top still lingered but he saw the truth behind why she wanted to jump. It wasn’t just a death wish, she wanted to strike at Stefan and Damon in the only way she could. “And what is it that you want in return for this information, Sweetheart.”

Caroline reached up and placed her hands on his chest. She eased out a few crinkles in his crisp white shirt. She could feel his muscles behind his shirt tense at the feeling of her fingertips caress him. She peaked at him from behind her eyelashes.

“Stefan hates you with a passion right now. Cursing your name every time he looks at Elena’s sad eyes. There is a fire burning in him to see you dead.” Klaus seemed amused at that. “What I want is petty and selfish and wrong on so many levels.”

“Say it.”

“I want to go to sleep every night knowing that I’ve fucked the one man who my husband hates most in the world.” There was a crackle between them that fizzled and popped. Both understood what this was. Caroline wanted in his bed for the soul purpose of being able to look at Stefan, knowing that she fucked the one man he wanted dead. It was a sort of petty revenge she needed in order to strike back from her mother’s murder and at the moment, this was the best possible way to do that.

For Klaus, it was one in the same. What was the best leverage over a man than bedding his wife? Sure, Stefan could care less for Caroline but she was his. His toy and his property. He wouldn’t take kindly to knowing that Klaus had been inside his wife; touched his wife and even less if she enjoyed it. Klaus would ensure that she did…she would feel every inch of it, cry out his name. Then when Stefan bedded his wife, she would close her eyes and imagine that it was Klaus touching her.

“You’re playing with fire, love.”

“I don’t care.” Fire burned in Klaus’s eyes and the dam broke. He leaned down and pressed a hard kiss to Caroline’s lips. Caroline knew that this could end badly for her. Either Stefan could find out she betrayed him and kill her or Klaus betrayed her and she would meet the same end with different means. That didn’t faze her. It wasn’t enough for her to give up the fact that she would have this moment.

Caroline dug her nails into his chest, dragging them down his shirt. She pulled the shirt from his trousers and ripped it open; buttons scattering across the hardwood floor. Klaus tossed it aside and pulled his undershirt over his head. Caroline’s lips latched onto his bare skin, tasting him. Her teeth nipped at his nipple while his hands moved the zipper at the back of her dress. He pulled it down and Caroline felt her dress sage on her shoulders. She pushed the dress down and let it pool at her feet.

Klaus eyed her with anticipation. She was a beautiful woman and he would have wanted to fuck her either way. Her being Stefan’s wife was just the cherry on top a very delectable cake. Her bra and panties were a simple black but matched with her black pump and the sight sent blood rushing to his penis. She shot him a coy look, she knew that he was finding her desirable and having lacked that look from a man in so long, it was addicting.

Caroline reached behind her and unhooked her bra, allowing it to fall to the floor. Klaus, unable to help himself, palmed her breasts; his nails gracing over her erect nipple. Caroline hissed at the contact, causing Klaus to do it again.

“Heels stay on.” Klaus commanded and Caroline chuckled. She reached for his belt, slowly undoing it but Klaus stopped her. “Not this time love. Perhaps another time.”

“Cocky much? Who says this is not just a one-time thing?” Caroline teased him, her fingers running along the skin just underneath his trousers. Instead of answering her, Klaus lifted her up; causing Caroline to squeak in surprise. She wrapped her legs around his waist, arching her back and pressing her breasts against his naked chest. Klaus’s lips latched onto her and kissed her while he walked them towards his desk. He knocked the files and pictures onto the ground, neither caring about the sound of shattering glass.

“Because once I’m done with you Sweetheart, you’ll come back begging for more.” He sat her down on the desk and kissed his way down her neck. His teeth nipped and sucked at her chest and Caroline spread her legs, allowing him easier access to her body. She leaned back on her forearms and watched as his head dipped lower and lower. “Tell me, when was the last time you enjoyed sex?”

“It’s been awhile.” Klaus’s eyes peaked up at her, and cocked his eyebrow. “Stefan is not very kind in the bedroom…in more ways than one.” Klaus chuckled and Caroline could feel the vibrations against her skin. They both knew what she was not saying. Caroline hated Stefan and sleeping with him was torture. There was no arousal or pleasure in the act but she had no choice.

“And here he is, a bigger fool than I realized.” Klaus grabbed her leg and outstretched it. His lips kissed her ankle as he admired her long, toned legs and the stiletto attached to them. Klaus apparently was a leg man. His hands ran down the length of them until he reached the edges of her panties. He hooked his fingers into the crotch, gracing her clit as he went. Caroline whimpered at the slight brush and her reaction pleased him; making him brush against it a second time just to make her squirm. He pulled her panties down her legs and took them into his hand; bringing them to his nose. He inhaled her scent while his eyes devoured the sight of her naked and spread across his desk. He pocked her panties and knelt before her. “Let’s make up for lost time, shall we.”

His fingers traced the length of her slit, spreading her juices. Caroline cried out at the contact. He slipped one finger into her and then another. He pumped them in and out of her before bringing his lips to her clit. His tongue licked the length of her before he began circling her bundle of nerves.

“God! Klaus!” Caroline cried out his name, not caring who heard. No one saw her enter his office. For all his staff knew outside his office door was that Klaus was having sex with someone behind it but the who remained a mystery. She assumed that they were paid well enough not to care. She continued to watch him lick and suck her while she felt that tension build up inside her. It had been a long while since she felt any sort of relief and it snapped inside of her like glass breaking against a wall. It shattered her. She screamed and cried out illegible things that she couldn’t remember when she came to.

“Seeing you come undone…you’re beautiful.” Klaus whispered and stood up from in-between her legs. Caroline sat up and reached for his belt. Like she attempted to do before, she pulled the offending leather from Klaus’s pants loops; putting it out with a snap. She tossed the belt to the floor and unbuttoned his pants, shoving them down to his ankles. “Condom?”

“Birth control.” Caroline replied, gripping Klaus in her hand. He hissed at the contact. She began to stroke him, watching as his jaw clenched tightly. His hands gripped her hips roughly and there was a brief second, she wondered if his hands would leave a bruise. “Gentle now. Can’t leave marks, now can we?” Klaus’s hands loosed and she cupped his balls as a reward, massaging them lightly. “Stefan does not want kids so, can’t risk pregnancy. So, I get a shot in my arm every three months, so unless you have some disease that I need to be worried about? Because I’m clean. Trust me. I’ve checked.”

“Clean bill of health Sweetheart.”

“Then get inside me.” Caroline lined his penis up with her entrance and Klaus pushed inside. The feeling of him stretching her and filling her was incredible. He was bigger than Stefan so there were muscles that were stretched that she was not used to. Klaus wrapped his arms around her, pressing her to him. Slowly, he withdrew before pushing back in. The first few strokes where leisurely but as their rhythm began to build, his thrusts picked up. “Faster. Harder”

The desk under them creaked and groaned. The slapping of skin could be heard as Klaus pounded into her. Caroline’s nails dug down his back, leaving marks that that they both knew would take a few days to fade. She could feel herself building towards her peak again and Klaus could sense that she was the verge of another orgasm. He reached between them and rubbed her clit. Her walls clenched and Caroline was pushed off that cliff again. A few more pumps and Klaus followed suit.

Once their breathing calmed down, Klaus slipped out of her and Caroline whimpered at the loss. She sat there for a second and watched as Klaus bent down and pulled his trousers up his legs. Caroline held out her hand and Klaus just cocked an eyebrow at her in question.

“My panties.”

“Oh, no Sweetheart. I’m keeping those.”

“Seriously!” Caroline huffed in mock frustration causing him to chuckle. He looked her over, apprising her still naked body; seemingly way too proud for her liking. She rolled her eyes and stood from the desk. “Fine. Pull the alpha man act.”

Klaus all but doubled over in laughter as she picked up her bra, putting it on before stepping back into her black dress. She turned her back to him and pointed at the dress. Klaus stepped forward and zipped up the dress, his fingers gracing her back as he went. Despite what they had just done, the touch sent shivers down Caroline’s spine. Klaus leaned down and she felt his hot breath on her ear.

“There is no act, love. I am the alpha male.” Caroline turned to look at him and made a point to roll her eyes again. He was amused; his smile was wide and his eyes sparkled with mischief. He was content and there was something about him made Caroline want to please him again. She wanted to fuck him in order to get back at Stefan and now she realized she wanted to do it again for the sole purpose that he felt good.

Klaus pulled away from her and went to pick up his cell phone, stepping over glass that had shattered from a few of his picture frames that had been on his desk. Caroline spotted a mirror on the far wall near his office. Her hair was a mess. She scowled and pulled it from her bun. She ran her fingers through it and deciding to let it hang loose. She watched Klaus send a text message before walking over to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close as they listened to the sound of the elevator rising again.

“Until next time, Sweetheart.” Klaus kissed the side of her neck before pulling away; just in time for the elevator to ding and Enzo to step out. Enzo halted slightly, taking in the sight of the office. He was intelligent enough not to say anything but seeing the contents of Klaus’s desk on the floor and the smell of sex hanging in the hair; not the mention the fact that Klaus was shirtless, he knew exactly what had occurred.

Caroline just tossed him a cheek grin before heading to the elevator, swaying her hips ever so slightly as she went; knowing full well that Klaus was watching her. Enzo followed her inside and the moment the door closed on them; he just turned his head to look at her with a worried expression on his face.

“You’re playing a very dangerous game Gorgeous.”

“And you’re not?” Caroline retorted. Enzo just shrugged.

“I didn’t just fuck the devil.”

“Oh, shut up.” Caroline bit out. “Why are you doing this? Playing both sides, I mean? If Damon or Stefan learned that you were feeding information to Klaus or even that you brought me to see if, twice. They’d kill you. And don’t feed me some line about the money being good. I’m too smart for that.”

“It amazes me that neither Stefan nor Damon realize how smart you actually are.” Enzo muttered but refused to say more and Caroline was not going to push him. She just wanted to make a point. They walked across the parking garage and she climbed into the SUV. It wasn’t until they were sitting in traffic and Caroline was scrolling through her phone that Enzo spoke again. “Her name is Bonnie.”

“What?”

“My girl. Bonnie. She has a rare genetic disease. I couldn’t afford to get her the treatment she needs.” Caroline wilted ever so slightly. She did not know much about Enzo or the fact that he had a life apart from bloodshed and deception. “Klaus has connections. Vast connections. I provide him with whatever he needs and he ensures that Bonnie gets everything she needs to manage her condition. So yeah. It is not about the money.”

Caroline had nothing say. It made sense to her why Enzo did what he did but what amazed her was Klaus. She knew that he wasn’t providing, what Caroline assumed to be expensive medical care, out of the goodness of his heart. She could not begin to imagine what Enzo has done for Klaus to receive that kind of payment.

A second later, Caroline’s phone buzzed revealing an unknown number.

Thank you for today Sweetheart.

Caroline smiled but quickly deleted the message.

#klaroline fanfiction #klaus x caroline #fanfiction #klaus mikaelson #caroline forbes

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romanova-natalia · 4 years

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Moonlight

Pairing: Liz Toomes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reader comforts Liz after Peter leaves her at homecoming

Notes: Cute wlw fluff, something we all need these days.

Warnings: Maybe a cuss or too? Hurt/Comfort type plot, crying.

Word Count: 1494 Words

As the music pumped through the heavily decorated gym you could help but realize that your best friend, Liz Toomes, was absolutely nowhere to be found.

You had known that she was supposed to be attending homecoming with Peter Parker. Truthfully, had he not asked you might have - and you thought it was a godsend he did because you’d been working overtime to hide your feelings toward your close friend from everyone.

No one knew you had feelings for her, no one even knew that you were attracted to women. You weren’t ready for what might happen if people were to find out.

“Have you seen Liz?” You asked Betty, walking up to her with two glasses of punch in your hand. You had been hoping to give one to Liz.

“No- I haven’t seen her since Peter ran off.”

“Wha- Ran off? Where the Hell did he go?” You asked, your eyes widening.

“I don’t know, he just ran off- she said she’d be right back but-”

You didn’t give her time to finish as you quickly walked out of the gym and into the hallways, easily sneaking past the chaperones who were preoccupied.

As you quickly walked through the hallway, apparently having forgotten the two glasses of punch in your hands, you called out her name but didn’t hear anything in return.

You reached the closest girls bathroom and pressed your ear against the door, and when you heard crying you knew your suspicions about her being in there were correct.

It took a few seconds for you to open up the door, realizing you could be completely wrong and someone else could have had a bad night. But you still called out her name when you walked in.

“It’s not a good time right now.” She responded, it sounded like she was trying to stop the crying.

“I know that Peter left, Liz. I just wanna talk to you.” You said, hoping that she would come out of the stall she was in - but she didn’t. “I don’t want to have to do this but I will crawl under these doors if you don’t come out.” You commented, but made sure your voice was slightly playful. You didn’t want her to think you were pushing her too far - you would never do that.

Despite herself, Liz opened the door of the stall she was in. She kept her head down for a few moments before she finally looked at you.

The way she looked right now was enough to make you want to cry. Her eyes were all puffy, and you could see how bloodshot and red they were.

You set the two glasses down on the sink and pulled Liz into a hug, she quickly reciprocated and hugged you back before both of you slid to lean against the wall in front of the sinks, sitting down.

“Tell me what happened,” You said, softly as you looked at her, letting Liz rest her head against your shoulder as you wrapped your arm around her.

“M-My dad wanted to talk to Peter and- you know my dad can be intimidating sometimes, right?” She questioned, but you knew it was rhetorical. “Peter he- he looked really upset when he walked in and- he said ‘you don’t deserve this’ and left.” Liz said, seeming like she was about to start crying again.

“Liz I’m so sorry- he doesn’t even know what he missed out on.”

“I just don’t understand- I thought… he seemed like he liked me but he left me there.” She sniffed, leaning closer into you as you sighed.

“If he can’t appreciate you for who you are then he doesn’t deserve you, Liz.” You said, but she didn’t seem to believe you.

“You’re just saying that because you care about me- maybe I just don’t deserve a relationship.” She trailed off, which only seemed to upset you, but you’d never say that.

“I promise you that you deserve a relationship. You’re the smartest, most beautiful person I know. You deserve the world- and yes I care about you, but I’d have to be blind to not see how wonderful you are.” You commented, watching as Liz moved her head up so her eyes would meet yours.

“You really mean that?” She questioned, wiping her eyes as her eyes examined yours, seemingly looking for some kind of lie.

“Of course I do, I-” You stopped yourself, realizing that you were about to say you loved her. “I care about you, I always have. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” You said, honestly.

Liz wiped her eyes and finally let a smile cover her lips as she looked at you. “Now, let’s get off of this disgusting bathroom floor, yeah?” You asked her and she nodded, standing up with you.

You picked up one of the cups of fruit punch that you brought with you, “Drink, it’ll make you feel better.” You said, letting her take a sip of punch from the glass.

“Everyone’s gonna know I’ve been crying, I can’t go back out there.” She said, watching as your brain started turning.

“Wait right here, I have to grab something from my locker.” You said, walking out into the hallway. Thankfully, your locker was rather close so it didn’t take long at all for you to open it up and pull out a makeup bag Liz had given to you - it was her makeup, she wanted you to keep it in case you both ever ‘ran away’ and she needed her makeup. You closed the bag and returned to the bathroom, holding up the bag of makeup. “Let’s fix this.” You said.

“I can’t believe you still have that,” Liz said, excitement in her voice as she watched you take out concealer and eye products.

“I’m glad I did.” You said, playfully, as you opened the tube of concealer and started applying it to Liz’s skin, blending it in before fixing her mascara and eyeliner.

Liz turned to look in the mirror and smiled softly, “Well, I don’t have a date anymore… would you do me the honor?” She questioned - and you would have to ignore the warmth you felt in your cheeks.

“It would be my honor, my dear.” You replied with a large smile, letting Liz take your arm, taking a small moment to return the makeup to your locker before returning to the gym.

Maybe it was a selfish dream, but it was still a beautiful dream for you to be able to dance with Liz as homecoming. You could help but feel something when the slow dance came up, you couldn’t help but love the feeling of your hands wrapped around Liz in a way that the couples in the room had been.

When the dance was over you agreed to drive Liz home, neither of you would have any idea of what had happened during the dance.

But as you pulled into her driveway and you both stepped out of the car you couldn’t help but admire how beautiful she looked in the moonlight - you believed that Peter was an idiot for leaving her alone at that dance.

“I can’t thank you enough for being by my side - I don’t know what I would have done without you.” Liz said, turning to face you when you were standing in front of her.

“I’ll always be by your side, you know that.” You responded, softly as you looked at her.

“Can I ask why? I mean- I know I’m a pain sometimes.” She said, laughing softly.

“I- I love you-” You cut yourself off, now knowing how she was going to read into that.

She seemed taken aback for a moment, but something seemed to click in her brain. “Do you mind if I do something?” She asked, and you feared you had said something wrong.

“Yeah g-”

You were cut off by the feeling of Liz’s lips against yours, as soon as you kissed back you felt her snaking her arms around your hips. It was a soft and intimate kiss, and when you both pulled back you felt smiles covering your faces as you rested your heads against each other.

“How did you know?” You asked her, not daring to raise your voice above a whisper.

“Maybe I was just hoping you felt the same.” She replied, her voice just as soft as yours.

“Get some sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You said, a soft smile covering your face - you knew she needed rest after crying so much earlier.

“I will, goodnight - and… I love you too.” Liz said, pressing one more soft kiss to your lips before walking inside of her house.

As you drove home, you had no idea what news you were in for the Monday after, no idea what news you were in for when you turned the television on - but for that tiny moment you felt… happy.

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inappropriatefangirlneeds · 4 years

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Gotham s5ep11 “They Did What?” Personal Review & Rambling

I DID IT .... I WATCHED THE GOTHAM FINALE

“We need to make it a bomb again.” Absolutely no warning cause that’s all no spoiler anymore for a long time

So I´m not sure if it´s good thing I´m watching this ages late, partly I guess I could be more emotional, partly not. It´s sweet to see how everyone and their aunt is teaming up for the city. “Well, this is gonna make one hell of a bedtime story some day.” With Nyssa al Ghul holding the baby I briefly totally forgot the plot and wondered where did that child come from again? And my brain went back to the (godawful) “Ra´s present for Barbara is a child” theory, and then I remembered oh no it was Jim ..and I was like .. eh, magic baby would have been the better plot. So that´s how we started this but at least Jim and Barbara were quite sweet, even with the child (I usually just cringe and crumble in sheer terror of what kind of responsibility a child is whenever one of those appears but they made it sweet) BARBARA KEAN & JIM GORDON were such a great team! Also Barbara just looks so damn fine, they really did good with that. And just bless the FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHERS of the Show , handcuffed Barbara taking out the guy with her legs > Jim later handcuffing Nyssa to keep her close to not get shot at < Good Stuff! * ~ 24:05 even up to the Steps of SELINA KYLE , Just the way she walked before fighting Bane was such a neat detail ”My father made his name destroying empires.” NYSSA AL GHUL I guess with more time she´s got potential but rushed like that her character is just boring.

“Can we really be so cavalier about the destruction of Gotham?” Oh OSWALD COBBLEPOT that´s part of why I fell in love with you. So he and EDWARD NYGMA go over the whole “listening to your heart never did you any good Oswald” spiel, and “I´ll miss you”, or “not so much”, Ed kind of is saying “don´t go” , but just not quite, the usual, you know, I can´t bring myself to care much but damn do I like watching their pretty selves talk through it. * Edward later follows Oswald, claiming it´s about the city, says the submarine can only operated by two people, and actual people, dog didn´t work. The usual. * Holy Shit, JIM GORDON ´s so gorgeous. It´s not like I had forgotten how pretty he is but damn that episode hit me hard again with Jim feels. Him over that map, going through their strategy. Daaaamn daaaaaaaaamn. * JIM GORDON & OSWALD COBBLEPOT in something that might as well be just fanfiction: “Oswald, come in.” / “Still have those eyes in the back of your head, Jim.” / “No. You just have a remarkably recognizable odor. Part dandy, part snake. After all these years, it hasn't changed. Drink?” / “No, thank you. Dulls the senses.” / “That's what I was going for. Surprised you're still here. Figured you'd be long gone by now. That storm you've warned me about for so long, it's finally here.” / “Sure, I could escape... with money, I might add... but then what? Stand on the shores of the mainland and watch the army burn it to the ground? Then watch tasteless industrialists and vapid politicians rebuild it? No. My life is etched on the walls of every alley and dirty warehouse here. My blood lives in its broken concrete. I'm staying to fight. For my legacy.” * LESLIE THOMPKINS caring about the people of the Narrows was great, I don´t know, if I like that she “abandoned” them in order to stand next to Jim but I can let it pass because of the way she did: She respected and trusted BARBARA KEAN to get them out. I can accept a plot that doesn´t pit those two women against each other (anymore). It was equally great that Lee just told Jim to “yes, go to your child”, and not to forget the scene where Barbara is thanking Lee for what she did, and “Barbara Lee Gordon” * Lucius is full on providing gadgets for Bruce, including that Bat Beacon that slowed down Bane. Nice but eh. Also they rehash Jeremiah´s plan to turn the city in a labyrinth to slow down the army. “We need to make it a bomb again.” Battery goes Bomb again, but eh, kind of fell flat for me

* HARVEY BULLOCK pointing out they are fighting SOLDIERS that are just following orders was a good touch. And it makes sense that JIM could brush that aside, he knows what they signed up for. That´s what you do, that´s what you accept. * Also I can stan a good story that rejects and is a slap in the face of the "NUREMBERG DEFENSE" so props to that! Just the execution fell so remarkably flat for me. I felt nothing then the people came back with Barbara, nothing when the soldiers pointed their guns at Bane. BRUCE WAYNE & SELINA KYLE Just Selina checking in with a “Bruce?” to make sure he actually wants to do that bomb thing was so precious. Also her recognizing that he is and accepting his choice. [Rant Below] Them later sitting on the stairs and talking was sweet too, except for what they talked about. SELINA KYLE MRs. & MR WAYNE So apparently they paralleled those in this episode 1. Selina´s shadow is just right under the painting of Mrs & Mr Wayne and Bruce just plants the bomb right in the middle of her shadow ~19:40) 2. Selina telling Bruce on the stairs she will be there whenever he needs her and Bruce replying that this is what his parents used to tell him. Which is a good setup for the kind of conclusion Bruce draws out of all of this but also I´m gonna rant about it below but first: 3. Bruce says his parents would have and did sacrifice everything for the city. He´s making the same choice but apparently can´t see that Selina has as much a choice to do so as he and Mrs & Mr Wayne have . So in the end I´m getting overly emotional, angry, hurt, let down to be precise: How dare BRUCE WAYNE leave SELINA KYLE behind like this?! Given the backstory that´s bound to be so much more painful than whatever Jeremiah or Bane ever could do. Selina has been through this after Jeremiah and she made a choice. She stayed, she thought and she was (not that that matters but let´s not forget it) damn good at it. I know Bruce thinks he´s making a “sacrifice” but how dare he take away this choice from her. How dare he hurt her like that.

* Most importantly though ALFRED PENNYWORTH in that COAT at the end looked so damn dashing. I´m in love. But I don´t like that they made a point of benching his character like that. He added plenty to the fight, he´s been in hospital before, he can add still contribute like he always did. Don´t let it end like this. Yeah I do need at least three seasons to magically happen before the 5th. OSWALY COBBLEPOT & EDWARD NYGMA Round #2 * Edward apologizes for freezing because of the grenade, Oswald understands. Edward gags when seeing Oswald´s hurt eye but claims it is just a scratch. * Back in a remarkable awesome looking place they lick their wounds: > Oswald feels not appreciated he wants “credit for our loyalty, our selfless bravery?” aka Love. > Edward however feels better than everyone else. He used to be “Shy awkward, pathetic Ed”. Not anymore. He´s better! “I don't want their thanks. Or their respect. You know what I felt, standing shoulder to shoulder with those people out there? Nothing. I... feel... absolutely nothing for those drab... boring people.” Never again. I've shown this city who I truly am once before, and I will do it again. They will bow to the Riddler, and they won't get up until I permit them to.” >> The notion of the “Thankless Job” is there too with Ed but Ed get his kicks out of separating himself from the people, he´s different and above them he doesn´t care about their opinion and has no real stakes in their well being. Oswald however obviously still want´s the recognition of said people, and he wants the good and nice kind, so it´s important that they aren´t miserable. However “Yes. You're right. Our accomplishments have been erased, our brilliant minds underrated. If they had let me run this city the way I wanted to, it would not be in ruins now. I had the men, the money, - the guns... “ 1. Oswald falls in line with Ed´s reasoning, appeals to his brilliance spleen but tweaks it for his need. Edward says he has to rule and they have to bow to him. Os says Ed is right, follows in line with Ed in reassuming a strife for leadership but adds his twist that this is necessary not so much because he (just as Ed thinks he is) is superior but because his leadership is “good” for the people. He´ll do good for them so they´ll like him. >>> Oswald wants to rule to not have the city in ruins and get praised for that >>> Edward wants to rule because he´s better and deserves so regardless of other imbeciles thoughts or needs. 2. Divide et Imperare Edward is quick to make sure to point a finger to an enemy and separate Oswald from Jim “Gordon took them.” Oswald just might as well try to go back to old methods and try build alliances with Jim and the law again, Edward recently saw Oswald and Jim kind of teaming up again and he just can´t have that. Just like Mr. Penn was in the way. Jim is a threat. One to be undermined at all costs: “Gordon took them. Why? Because he still sees you as Fish Mooney's umbrella boy, and he always will.”

3. One Ring to bind them. Edward starts with a selfish reason but is quick to put Oswald back into the plan. First there´s “I” suddenly he talks about a “We”: “I only came back to help him save this city so that I could take it for myself. We would be stronger together. No one could stop us.” 4. Do they believe each other?! Apparently they don´t because the both go in the hug with a drawn knife but are relieved when they don´t feel one in their own back. Which was really nice and fitting imagery. I can live with that “conclusion” but I have so much open questions. I really got to look for post that worked through all of this. > Oswald obviously must be weary of Edward because (I just have to believe) that he sees through the manipulating words of Edward. (as listed above) [[[ Especially the scene with Jim: They had a rather respectful, familiar interaction. I can´t quite believe that he follows Edward´s claim that JIM only thinks of him as that umbrella boy. I do think Oswald gets that Jim takes him serious, just well considers all his crime stuff to be wrong, and that´s quite a different thing than what Ed claims.]]] > What is Edward´s angle there? Yeah he might not have been able to operate the submarine alone but granted his speech it sounded like he would think that he is capable of taking the city for and by himself. Why is he appealing to Oswald to form a “we”? Just to get him in the hug situation and test him, asses a possible future threat to his claims? The only other proper motivation for that would be …. he likes Oswald. 5. “Brothers” Hahahah * Okay, but Oswald´s face when Edward and his mirror self do their thing …Damn …. * 8:26 Are the “Captain Jim Gordon” letters on his door window colour ??! * Jankey Piss Whiskey, what is Jim drinking? * Oh no, not the General

#gotham #gotham meta #mine Gotham full episode reviews #nygmobblepot #gotham s5ep11 They Did What?#bruce wayne

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dafukdidiwatch · 4 years

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REDLINE (2013)

I can’t believe this movie is rated R

This movie sucks.

This movie Fucking Suuuuuuucks.

I can’t believe it was rated R. I didn’t even know it was rated R until I was looking up the movie for the review. It stinks!

Apparently this was made by College Interns, or like 70% of the crew was College Interns and Students who had limited resources and wanted to see how far they can make this movie. But it still doesn’t keep it free from criticism! So criticism I shall!

Here’s how the movie sets it’s stage: US FBI TERRORISM HAPPENING AFTER 9/11! IT ALSO HAPPENED ON THE TRAIN STATION! HERE’S THE UGLY GREEN FILTER OVER THE MOVIE BECAUSE WE ARE SERIOUS!

And then after like 3 minutes of seeing people just sitting on subway, EXPLOSION! And scenario starts.

The point of the film is supposed to be this locked room scenario where people are slowing getting to each other’s throats as they try to figure out “who the evil one is.” But the problem with that is I DON’T KNOW THEM! At least give me like, a line or two of them talking (HELL, INTERACTING) before everything turns to shit.

Hey also, this movie just hates couples I guess. Not to say you can’t have couples being torn apart by accident. That is a good source of drama. But there are at least 2 Couples here in the movie, both have a partner get super injured in the crash. And wanna know who dies immediately? The black guy. Yeah, the black couple gets killed off first. Like, I get it’s a mix of people with different backgrounds because that’s the point, but honestly I’m getting tired of that shit.

It also sucks because there was an interesting scene early on. The only known medical person is a Hispanic woman who only speaks Spanish. So the two uninjured partners are fighting over her to try and save their lovers. It is touching and desperate. But this ties back into the I DON’T KNOW THEM. My heart doesn’t LEAP because of the specific person being hurt. It is leaping because of the situation they are in. There was no moment given to figure out who these people are outside a minute. Honestly I think the most screen time was for the couples before the explosion JUST for this scene. Because everyone else I couldn’t give a shit about. And the movie didn’t let me give a shit about anyone else.

I wrote in my notes “Rescue Snuff Porn” which I think fits this movie well.

We didn’t really know anyone’s name until like 20 minutes in where we get one guys backstory as an actor. And OOPS! He dies. Moral of the story: keep that backstory shit a secret.

This movie is, I guess also into showing off people’s prejudices here. Like the “Better rethink your racist views” kind of way. The medical person they have? Yeah she was a nurse, but now...Cleans Houses! Oh Le Gasp! Like the dude’s face looks affronted and I can’t tell if this was supposed to be “don’t judge housekeepers” moment but all I can think about is that I didn’t give a shit if she lost her license by killing someone, if she’s the only one with medical knowledge then let her do her damn job.

Then we get the Big Show of showing prejudices by having one guy Mason The Army dude who served in Iraq target another guy Al because stereotypical terrorist look here. He was also saying bs about how statistically terrorism is middle eastern and had other nonsense to make him look like an ass. Basically what happened is that they found another Bomb and now everyone is on the hunt for the bomber. And the first thought is Al because racism. Though it did leave for an actual Deez Nuts moment.

“What’s your name?”

“Al”

“Al What?”

“Al-Qaeda“

Then he rapid explains that he is my boy from Michigan. Is an engineering student from UoM. Roots for the Pistons. Like, My Boy!

Then they fucking torture my boy by beating him and moving his broken arm. That, is the ONLY reason I can accept this is was Rated R because everything else was just tame as hell.

Fuck Mason I literally didn’t give a shit he died. He died. Oops. Army vet got beamed with a rock. Alexa play Taps.

Oh and I guess Tori is the only one that can actually think and get epiphanies on “oh shit this isn’t right.” She thought “what if the bomber is here” She thought “oh wait where is the gun” She thought “wait let’s have a plan to out the bomber!” Like, I get shes the “lead lead” but still at least let other people get some other thoughts here.

And throughout all of this, the makeup sucks. The students spent all their budget for the blood death of the one guy because literally NO ONE ELSE has blood on them! Barely a scratch. HELL! The women’s make up was intact! They just smeared soot blush on and called it good. The clothes weren’t even stained or torn. This might just be me nitpicking but if you were in a tunnel for hours on end the makeup isn’t going to be perfect throughout. And if the movie didn’t want me to notice the makeup they should have made a better plot.

BS BS Found the original Bomber BS BS Wants to punish America for being bad and not prepared I guess? I literally zoned out as he tried to explain his stance of terrorist to a 10 year old girl because it only made him sound crazier by explaining it as training a dog. How I guess America is selfish and needs to be knocked down a peg.

Oh! And after they got rescued and Tori the Psuedo-Lead convinces the girl to NOT shoot the bomber when they win at the end, the Bomber had the fucking audacity of being “lol I’m a good teacher, I taught virtue.” With Tori going “No, fuck off, I would have been like this without you.” And Bomber-Man just says “You sure about that?” Dun Dun Movie End.

Like, Bro. Broooooooo what kind of bullshit is that?

First off: No. He didn’t teach shit. There was no learning moment here. The people learned things internally through themselves and their actions. He might have caused the situation in hand, but that is not the same as actively teaching. Virtue would only reveal itself in events like that because it isn’t something that people can prepare for and go to survival-mode, whether protecting yourself or others. He can just take his bomb and shove it straight up in his ass.

With that kind of logic, you’re saying JIGSAW from Saw has the moral high ground too. And that, my friend, is also bullshit.

Second off: How dare the movie end with giving the villain justification like this. What, is it supposed to be a thinker? Let the audience stew in this and ponder if the bad guy was indeed right in all of this?

No. Fuck off. He bomb people. There is no moral justification in that. Bye Bye. See you later.

Yeah this movie sucks. Do not recommend. At All. Only watch it if you are drunk and with friends so you can make fun of it, and even then don’t. There are other better options here.

#dafukblog #Dafuking Films #redline #redline 2013 #subway #redline subway #redline movie #week 33 movie

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calunavulgaris · 5 years

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I’d like to think that anyone who knows me knows that I am 100% pro-choice, but in case it needs to be said: I am unapologetically, completely, irrevocably pro-choice.

There are two main reasons for this, the first being that I have known from a very early age that I never wanted to be pregnant or give birth. The idea is beyond horrifying to me. The second is much less personal. I have never encountered an anti-choice argument that wasn’t laughably easy to dismantle. I’ve been vocally pro-choice for roughly 30 years now (thanks, Mom) and in that time one thing has become painfully evident: anti-choicers have nothing but tenuous, easily debunked “arguments” that are based solely on emotional manipulation, anecdotes, and pseudo-science. They’re also dreadfully unoriginal and repetitive. It gets dull, let me tell you.

But what the hell, just for fun let’s go through some of them here:

“Abortion is MURDER!”

Nope. Murder is a legal term with a clear, concise definition. Abortion does not meet the criteria. Go ahead and look that up, it’s pretty easy to find.

“Abortion KILLS BABIES!”

It’s funny how those who claim to be on the side of science (which is ridiculous on its own) resort to unscientific terms when their goal is to evoke a purely emotional response, isn’t it? “Killing babies” packs more of a manipulative punch than “a medical procedure involving the removal of fetal tissue.” Believe it or not, I sympathize if the termination of a fetus squicks you. I get it. Being that I’m pro-choice, I will always defend your right not to ever undergo the procedure with the same fervour I employ when defending the choice to obtain an abortion. That’s what it means to be pro-choice.

“The fetus is innocent and has a right to life!”

By definition, the fetus can’t be innocent or guilty, it is purely neutral. The “right to life” does not grant anyone the right to use any part of another person’s body for their survival, no matter how “innocent” that person may be. The person carrying the fetus also has the right to life and bodily autonomy, and having sex/being pregnant isn’t something one can be “guilty” of, as neither is a crime. If we want to talk about innocence, let’s start there.

“What about the rights/autonomy of the fetus?”

For starters, the fetus has no autonomy. Its survival is completely dependent on the person whose body it’s inhabiting. That person is fully autonomous and must consent to their body being used and occupied by the fetus.

I know this is repetitive, but it seems to need repeating: There is no human right granted to anyone to use any part of another human’s body, living or dead, for their survival. If you’re in need of an organ transplant, and someone has just died with the organ you need, that doesn’t grant you the right to take what you need from them unless they consented to it before their death. You don’t have the right to take their completely viable organs that they are no longer using if that person did not sign up to be a donor, and it doesn’t matter if you will die as a result. If I’ve been stabbed and am bleeding out, and will die unless given a blood transfusion, no one can be legally compelled to give me their blood to save my life. Not even my own mother. Not even if she was the one who stabbed me in the first place.

If no one has the right to a dead person’s organs or their mother’s blood, what right does a fetus have to another person’s entire body?

“You shouldn’t get to kill a baby just because you’re too lazy to use contraception!”

Please, tell me which form of contraception is 100% effective 100% of the time. Even a minuscule failure rate (based on perfect use) means that unintended conception will occur. I have personally met several people who conceived/were conceived themselves despite multiple forms of contraception being used. It happens. If someone uses two or three methods in tandem, I think they’re making it pretty clear that they do NOT wish to conceive, don’t you? And sure, some do decide to continue with the pregnancy (I think the best reaction I ever heard along these lines was “I need to meet the person who could get past all that!). Again, that’s their choice.

Yes, some people conceive because they neglected to use contraception, for whatever reason. Those reasons are no one’s business but their own. Having unsafe sex is not a crime and isn’t something people need to be punished for. More on that coming up in the next point.

“Abstinence is 100% effective! You made the choice to have sex, deal with the consequences!”

Electing to have an abortion is one way to deal with the consequences. It’s just one that some find immoral, or icky, or selfish. Thankfully, morals are subjective, and it isn’t a crime to be selfish or icky. Even if it were, using forced pregnancy (which the UN defines as a form of torture) as a punishment is unconscionable and inhumane.

Also, what do you suggest for childfree couples? Believe it or not, there are people in long-term, committed, loving, healthy relationships who don’t wish to have children. Should they be condemned to lifelong abstinence because there’s a chance they might conceive? Have fun trying to sell that one.

Consent to sex does not equal consent to pregnancy. Now, imagine that it wasn’t consensual to begin with. (This is where they like to bring up the statistic of abortions as a result of rape, because they live in a world where every instance of sexual assault is reported, and every victim discloses how they came to be pregnant.)

We don’t deny medical care to those who develop lung cancer due to their 20-year pack-a-day habit, or those who drink themselves into liver failure. If a drunk driver causes a collision, we don’t stand by and let them die from their injuries, even if the collision caused the death of others. But somehow, there are those who think a person with a uterus should literally be tortured and have their human rights revoked if a fetus is inhabiting that uterus. That is terrifying.

“What about the father? The fetus is 50% his so he should have a say!”

It may be 50% his genetic material, but it is 100% inhabiting another person’s body, which is why that person gets to make the final call.

Let’s break down what’s being implied here: If a couple conceives and the pregnant person wants to abort, they should obtain permission from their partner in order to do so. If he disagrees, they should respect that and carry the pregnancy to term. That doesn’t seem very 50-50 anymore, does it? I think it’s funny that this argument only seems to work under the assumption that the father would want to continue with the pregnancy. If he felt it would be best to terminate and his partner disagreed, would they still argue that his vote somehow carries more weight? I doubt it.

“You shouldn’t have an abortion just because pregnancy is inconvenient!”

“Inconvenient?!” Dude. A hangnail is inconvenient. Missing a parcel delivery and having to go to the post office is inconvenient. Your cat’s preference for hacking up hairballs on your clean laundry instead of the tile floor is inconvenient. To call pregnancy “inconvenient” is absurd in the extreme. Pregnancy, even under the best conditions, permanently alters a person’s body. I dare you to tell someone who has been through pregnancy and labour that it was merely “inconvenient.” Seriously, look up third-and-fourth degree tears, gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, abdominal separation, etc. just for starters, and then tell me it’s just inconvenient.

“Post-abortive women suffer from depression and mental illness!”

Find me an unbiased source to back that up, please. It simply isn’t true, the majority of people who have undergone an abortion report feeling relieved. Also, what kind of an effect do you imagine forcing an unwanted pregnancy and birth on an unwilling person has on their mental health? Hell, wanted pregnancies can take a huge toll on a person’s mental health, but I don’t see anyone using postpartum depression to argue against pregnancy, childbirth and parenthood.

“Doctors don’t know everything! I knew someone whose doctor said their pregnancy was unviable and they should terminate, but they didn’t and now they have a beautiful, perfect child!”

Cool story. I’m glad this person was able to make that choice for themselves and that things turned out okay. I’m still gonna trust the advice of someone who invested their time and money into getting a medical degree over the anecdote of an internet stranger, but that’s me.

“Infertile couples would be so happy to have your baby! Just give it up for adoption!”

I don’t know if you’re aware, but there is no shortage of children in need of families. There is, however, a shortage of people willing to adopt older children, or non-white babies/children, children and babies who are born addicted, HIV+, severely disabled/medically fragile... I could go on.

Getting back to the “Doctors don’t know everything!” point, it may be worth noting that I used to work in a foster home with severely disabled children. It was by far the hardest, most heartbreaking and exhausting job I’ve ever had. I have seen firsthand what these kids go through, how much around-the-clock care they require, how forgotten some of them are by their families, and how they are considered “undesirable” as far as adoption goes. I have seen how they suffer. I wouldn’t go as far as to say it would have been better for any of them if they hadn’t been born, but I fully understand if someone is simply not up to the task of devoting their life to caring for a child who will be completely dependent on them for everything for however long they live, which sadly isn’t long for many of them. I’m glad I did it, but not everyone can, and there is nothing wrong with admitting that.

All of that aside, adoption is only an alternative to parenthood, not pregnancy. No one owes you the use of their uterus to house a fetus you want just because you’re unable to make your own.

This is already longer than I originally intended, but I think I’ve covered the most commonly recycled arguments. The rest mainly boil down to “Abortion goes against my personal theological/philosophical beliefs or moral code!” and all I can say in response to that is that I’m so glad I don’t have to live by anyone’s concept of morality and am allowed my own. It’s pretty great.

I won’t be complacent, however. I have never been more terrified in my life as a uterus-bearing person as I am right now, and I know I’m not alone in that. We cannot allow our rights to be revoked. We cannot afford to lose the ground those before us fought so hard to gain. I will do all I can to keep that from happening.

If the right to our bodies isn’t worth fighting for, I don’t know what is.

#abortion #pro choice

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martiniblves · 5 years

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mijoo and her iconic entrances DFKLSJGDF

yes, i really am recycling the intro some of you probably Just caught when you followed me DGSFLJLGSD

hey y’all, i’m kat, english student and an old hag :/ also slowly coming down from an anxiety moment, hence only deleting old shit now and potentially going rogue from my blog for the night after posting this ( aka, best if y'all send me your d*scord users bc it's much easier for me there ) sfdgjgfd i’m super excited for this group and can’t wait to read all about your muses ! and hoping you feel the same, i’ll get right to introducing avalon bay’s resident messy brat, dahlia !

[ lee mijoo ] dahlia kim, twenty-four, cis female, she/her, radio dj — a world-class traveler in the making, self-proclaimed “ reformed ” groupie, has been a tennant at avalon bay for two years, her cherry blaster obsession is the sweetest thing about her, she slept with an ex-best friend’s roommate and crush as revenge. [ kat, 22, nt, she/her ]

she often goes between dahlia and dia, first and foremost sdfglkj

came from a super small town in upstate new york where there wasn’t much to do or much to see, so growing up she had an adventurous streak that would run rampant when she was able to go off by herself, able to drive, and finally able to leave it behind

her family life was rather average, her parents scraped by financially but her and her two younger siblings never really went without — aside from a toy or two at christmas or a brand new car for their sixteenth birthdays sfgkljgdf

gets on fine with them, but her and her little/middle sister have had an on-and-off contentious relationship that, at the moment, is very much ON SDFGFG

small town life was.. okay overall, she was social Enough and polite but never really maintained any close relationships with her childhood pals once high school came and went, mostly bc the town was full of gossips so everyone thought poorly of each other and passed it onto their kids LSKFDGJGDFL

and yes, i’m kinda basing this off of the antics of adults from my hometown, what about it ??

she spent most of her formative years with her head in the clouds and music always around her or on her mind

so you bet she wound up taking guitar and piano lessons when she was a kid and well into her teens, and dare i say she was pretty good at it fsdglkjgdf

having that skill gave her the boost of confidence she needed from middle school onward, having been a tad reserved before then

idk what else to add bc i honestly can’t think of anything else about her past Before moving away. dull as hell probably, more than it’s already been said LKGSDF

upon moving to the city, she attended nyu just to keep her parents from completely losing their minds over her not.. wanting to go on a sure path, majoring in communications and spending much of her time as a dj for the campus radio station’s late night shows

soon began searching for dj gigs at major radio stations once she’d graduated and landed a spot as an intern to meet with artists the station wished to interview, etc, and even had an opportunity or two to interview them herself

through that job, she became more exposed to the groupie lifestyle and — having always been somewhat intrigued — soon became one ( of sorts )

sorry if you’re a fan of h*lsey bc this might come across as a dig, but this is where she becomes the chill version of groupie!h*lsey that h*lsey wishes she had been DFLSKJDGSFL

she liked the attention from drummers, singers and rappers alike — plus having sex with talented, rich people whenever they were in town didn’t hurt one bit — and she kept it all separate from her job, although it did help the station land more interviews, tickets for contests, etc

wasn’t big on hard drugs, but she never shied away from a bong being handed to her or a couple of xanax tablets, just so we’re clear here sdflkgjfdgk

however, the no-strings set-up quickly shifted for dahlia upon meeting a rising indie band’s lead singer

he was smooth as hell, which she already knew alongside his tendency to get bored easily with fangirls-turned-groupies like the rest of the musicians she’d met, so when she played along with his game, it didn’t take long for him to maintain an interest in her and for them to forge something of a friendship

she’d never admit it to anyone, but he was her first love as the initial sexual attraction very quickly became romantic after long conversations about music and aspirations, mundane happenings in their lives separate from their encounters and who should’ve won immunity on the recent ep of masterchef; dia knew he wouldn’t settle down now and she knew that while she was his number one at that point, she wasn’t the only one he had. a couple of months passed where it seemed like he was going only to her, that his interest rarely waned to the other girls that would swarm him, which led her to believe he was at least somewhat into her and to her confessing when they were both drunk one night — only to be shut down but not shut out

dejected and heartbroken, she still couldn’t quite distance herself from him like she knew she should and the front she put up — that she exaggerated her feelings and would get over it — made him none the wiser

however, he couldn’t get over the thought of his fwb still being in love with him and cut ties with her abruptly before his nth departure from nyc

it took her right out of her bubble, left a horrible taste in her mouth to even go back to being a groupie for others over how poorly it all went with him, so she abandoned the sexual aspect and potential intimacy of it — but not before taking herself completely out of that lifestyle for a few months to get over him

which.. lbr, she’s only 90% of the way there to this day sfdlkkdfsgl

upon going back, she showed up to shows and parties solely as a friend of the performer.... before that got old Quick and she realized how soul-sucking it was for her sexually frustrated And repressed ass KFSLJGS

though ask her pals and they’d think she’d given it up altogether, hence her supposedly being reformed

.. at least she isn’t indulging in drugs like she occasionally used to, so that counts for something lksdfjlgdf

as for her time in radio, she got promoted to a morning slot as a dj with a couple of co-hosts last year, though once an afternoon slot opened, she high-tailed it out of there

anything to get back to her chill, late night roots and this was the first step

lastly, she moved to avalon bay 2 years ago, after uni was done and she had to move out of the dorms. in that time, she’d become best friends with another girl and had a massive falling out bc the other was. well. changing for the worst sgfjgfd

she became selfish, judgmental, advantageous and disloyal, and soon dia had enough of her hypocritical and generally nasty antics ( and not without a brutal argument that left both of their egos bruised )

dahlia isn’t always one for petty revenge, but when the ex-bff’s roommate and crush — who dia had a slight interest in as well — bumped into her in the hallway of their dorm one night, she took her chance to knock the other down a peg by initiating a flirtatious conversation that quickly turned sexual

with her ex-bff being on the other side of the wall of said roommate’s room

safe to say that their ( final ) conversation in the morning was a fucking disaster SDFLGKJGFDK

it’s not something she’s entirely ashamed about, but dia doesn’t feel the need to disclose what happened

PERSONALITY AND OTHER SHIT

she loves her friends, would die for them, would kill for them. let’s get that straight first and foremost !

does that mean she’s the nicest or even the most tolerable person ?? fuck no SFGLJGKDF

i described her to one of my pals as a “ chaotic free-spirit with a mean streak when she doesn’t get her way, ” which. could also describe a couple of my bitchier muses tbh FLDKGJDS

but she’s stubborn, irritable and has a sense of high self-worth and self-preservation

she obviously has an attitude that can and will come out if you hurt her or someone she cares about/someone she thinks doesn’t deserve it

or if you think you’re a god or something

and it can get ugly.. as explained above dfskgdgkf

however, we love confident women on this blog and here you have one !

she’s chill for the most part, so you ( probably ) won’t have anything to worry about if you stay on her good side gfsdkljgfd

passionate af about radio and music as a career, wants to have a gig like zane lowe’s beats hosting job or even annie mac’s one day

although she also wishes to put out music of her own at least Once before she dies dfgsljdfgk

bit of a wild child, likes to party and just do her own thing — partially bc she’s scared of getting older and having to give that all up/being forced to act her age

doesn’t mean she doesn’t like her quiet nights in though !

closet romantic, just wants to be swept off of her feet..... but no one needs to know that, at least she doesn’t think so FSDJKGFD

won't let you see it anyways, at least unless she's Interested and knows you're not someone who's only useful for her in the short-term

also quietly doting, will never be the mom friend bc it’s too much responsibility and patience, but will always be a good shoulder to cry on who tells you your feelings are valid before she tells you to toughen the fuck up and amend a situation yourself, might even tell you how

some exceptions may apply FDLSJGSFLK

a bit vulgar at times, just warning you now fgldskf

wants to see the world and has travelled a little as it is bc of her connections. loves it

JFKDGS

has a pet succulent bc she Knows she can't look after the big fluffy dog of her dreams rn

named him bobby after one of the characters from the love island game DFLKGSJF

i honestly dk what else to add rn, plus i’m eager af to post this so we’ll end it here ! cute extras can always be posted later !

#╳┊: — yee yee ! •「 ooc ! 」#avalon.intro #we love copying and pasting on this blog SDGFJLSKD

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violet-bookmark · 5 years

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Princess of Dorsa, by Eliza Andrews, chapter 6

Chapter 5 was very unexciting and chapter 6 doesn't start off much better: Tasia herself is bored with her lesson and falling asleep. I do love the scenery's description, it is very immersive (it's ironic that I say this about a description that is supposed to arise boredom and sleepiness). Her creep of a teacher notices that she's falling asleep, so he quizzes her about the lesson. She replies way more diplomatically than usual, which is good because it makes her sound more calm and clever than when she just lashes out.

As she describes her creepy teacher, we get some lore from the Wise Men: they wear their hair like medieval monks. That's it. That's the lore.

Also apparently the house of Dorsa was founded by a barbarian who had a wizard brother that he killed, so I guess that's why there hasn't been any magic so far. The book did a great job at making the explanation sound as boring and uninteresting as Tasia found it, so I almost forgot about it. Then suddenly we get this:

"Your father told me earlier today that he intends to make you his true heir," Norix said. "You'll still have to marry, of course, but your father wants you to be the one with the power, not your husband."

I was mistaken, looks like she will have to marry anyways. I understand this in part, but not really. It would make sense for her to marry after they find out who tried to kill her, or at least can rule some possible suspects out. Otherwise they would not only anger the killer by naming her the heir, but also giving him the possibility of getting closer to her and murdering her for real.

Another thing to note is that Tasia's parents had few children for their time and station. I don't know if this is because her father is impotent, because her mother had poor health (which could be, except we don't have any idea of how she and Tasia's brother died) or if they had other babies that died, but it is a massive inconvenient. If House Dorsa is ruling a massive Empire, the more children they have to marry off to other houses, the better.

Her creepy teacher, Norix, proceeds to act all condescending and explain to her that normally, females can't inherit (as if she didn't know) but that given the circumstances, it is time to do a very special exception, despite the fact that Tasia hasn't either shown strong leadership skills nor an interest in the crown.

I am tired of "females can't inherit" being common law in fantasy: the Salic Law was responsible for women not being allowed to ascend to the throne and inherit titles or property for a big part of the medieval age (although it varied depending on the century, some countries didn't have this law while in others it was introduced a lot later, etc. So even realistic fiction authors should double-check their facts). Of couse, even without it, mysoginy was a reality that shaped women's lives in many ways. During the medieval age, women worked on the fields for as many hours as the men did, but in my country they only got the same pay as children purely because of their sex. But those circumstances and the Salic Law were not something unavoidable or that just had to happen, and it is tiring how a lot of medieval fantasy books just expect readers to accept settings where women don't have any power (except for a few exceptions) with no explanation. Sometimes they even have less power than real medieval women; a lot of authors seems to think that for some reason, lower class women never worked? Or did anything apart from having babies, staying in the kitchen or prostituting themselves, really (something that a lot of the time they are portrayed as enjoying, of course). Hell, even high-born women did a lot of remarkable things during the Middle Ages that the majority of people don't know about, either because the men in power didn't want them written in history or because they deemed them less important just because women did them.

But back to the point.

"And I happen to believe that your father's decision is rooted in wisdom. This might be the right time in history - and you might be the right princess in history - for a woman to rule again."

And I happen to disagree, but then again I am not a pervy old man with a monk's haircut, so you know, grain of salt.

Tasia's brow furrowed. She was the right princess to rule the Empire? Norix's sudden proclamation was more than out-of-context and unexpected; it was out-of-character. She was relatively certain that her tutor didn't even like her, let alone think her capable of ruling an entire empire.

Even Tasia thinks he's full of shit.

Norix informs her that they are interrogating the man that was trying to kill her (while cosplaying as a Wise man) but that they are having a hard time getting anything out of him because he can resist truth serum. I was fine with this until:

To resist the truth serum required years of careful, painstaking training. It required poisoning yourself with the serum on ever-increasing doses, tolerating months of sleepless nights and vomiting until one built up an immunity to it,

Wait wait wait, no. Months of sleepless nights? The longest recorded time a person has been without sleeping is 11 days. Not sleeping for days can have very damaging effects on the body; it can cause hallucinations, paranoia and psychosis, along with damage to the nervous system, poor movement coordination and devastating effects on a person's mental health and overall wellbeing. It even messes with your hormones and your entire internal clock, affecting hunger, body temperature, etc. It is rare to die because of lack of sleep but it happens, and I am sure that anybody would die after months of not sleeping, if they hadn't gone insane first.

Tasia reaches the conclusion that it's possible that the Wise Man that tried to kill her wasn't a cheap cosplayer but the real deal, since the means to train somebody to resist the truth serum are expensive. Which means that the one that wanted to kill her was a noble. We don't know exactly what Wise Men do because knowing about their hairdos was more important, but they seem to be teachers to the rich and the poor alike, as well as advisors to nobles. So far, none of them have proven to be master assassins, let alone to have good fighting skills. Why would they send one of them to kill her? No wonder he didn't get the job done. They could have trained a professional assassin to resist truth serum and just have him/her do the deed.

It's also stupid because Wise Men seem to be fairly publicly known as well, so that should make it easier to track down the killer. What makes it worse is that, if the assassin was indeed a Wise Man, he tried to murder her in his Wise Man uniform for everyone to recognize his status, which is extremely dumb.

Norix starts to ramble about how clever she is for having reached that conclussion (... It's not an impressive deduction, and it doesn't make Tasia look clever, but the book look dumb), and he points out that she has an ability to manipulate people, like the guards of Sunfall gate. When Tasia is like "wtf" he reminds her that everyone and their mother knows about Tasia's lovers. Which yeah, Tasia has mentioned before that everyone and their mother does, indeed, know about them. Why is she surprised when she already knows that everybody knows?

"You are many things, my dear girl. Imprudent, churlish, impulsive, mule-headed - these all describe you well. Still..." he said, almost as if to himself, "they are traits you can learn to temper, should you decide to. Traits you could use, even. As your father has. Statecraft, strategy, the right balance of daring and caution. These are things that I can teach you. But loyalty - aaah, loyalty cannot be taught. And the one thing I know you are not is a traitor."

This is... A weird way to phrase it. You could just say that she's a loyal person instead of being like "well, you definitely are not a traitor ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so you'll do". And so far, Tasia hasn't demonstrated any kind of loyalty to the Empire or to anyone else but herself, really. She has mentioned several times that she isn't bothered about politics, her lessons bore her to death and she puts 0 effort into them, and she hasn't thought once about the Empire apart from when the men urge her to (her father, Norix, Cole, etc.), and even then she hasn't had a single thought of her own about it. She hasn't been traitorous either, but she doesn't seem to care enough to be. She only comes across as a selfish brat. Not caring enough to go out of your way to hurt someone or somehing =/= loyalty. Honestly, the only reason that would make me believe that Norix supports her as a ruler is that he believes she will be easily manipulable since she doesn't give a shit, and then, as an advisor, he will be the one with all the power.

Now that I think about it, only the noblemen have ever worried about politics in this book. All the noblewomen we have seen so far are too worried about their lovers and their looks to spare a single thought about politics, despite the fact that they will be their husband's confidantes in the future and they should have notions of how things work to be able to give good advice and to be politically competent as noblewomen. This is not only sexist, it doesn't even make sense. Even Tasia’s mother seemed to be only interested in singing with her pretty exotic birds and was so damn unremarkable that Tasia outright tells us that everyone has pretty much forgotten about her. Not even Disney princesses are so damn politically useless. If the noblewomen in your "gritty" look-at-how-many-times-I-mention-sexual-assault-aren't-I-edgy-esque series fall short at the side of Disney princesses, you're doing something extremely wrong.

After talking about the fact that it was the Emperor's idea and not Norix's to name Tasia the official heir, she remembers how her dad was talking about some of the women that had become Empresses in their own right:

Empress Adela, the warrior-queen who'd saved the nascent Empire after a series of wars that had nearly destroyed it. Adela's father had only two daughters, and the younger one died before reaching adolescence. Rather than marrying Adela off and turning her husband into the heir, he named Adela the heir and never forced her into marriage.

But Tasia is still forced to get married? Why?

Tasia asks Norix why did he tell her before the Emperor could, and Norix says that he wanted Tasia to not be taken by surprise and to do something stupid in front of the Emperor. Great trust you have in her, dude. Somehow, Tasia doesn't take offense on that, which she should. She takes offense when Jos does as much as breathe near her, but Norix insults her to her face and it is A-okay? He's her teacher and everything, but still, she mentioned earlier that everyone should know their station. That he told her beforehand also bothers me because it will make the naming scene far less epic; now that Tasia knows it won't be as interesting or impressive, and far less dramatic.

Out of the blue, but why didn't her father remarry after her mother died? Unless he had a problem, the natural course of action in a society where the upper class needs heirs would be to remarry both for the babies and the extra power. This reinforces my theory about him being impotent. We are given no explanation whatsoever for a lot of things that we should know, so I will headcannon away. No cannon facts can stop me because they don't exist.

After Tasia finishes her lessons she starts to get nauseous because all the responsibility of being an Empress is hitting her at once. Joslyn tries to make her feel better:

"Princess... If it eases your burden any... I want you to know that no assassin will get near you again. Not while I remain in your service"

She is so kind and considerate, I love her.

"That eases my burden none," Tasia said. "I've known you for all of - what? Four hours on the clock? Five? And as you pointed out, the attempt on my life was only last night. Then you suddenly appear today? For all I know, you are my assassin's accomplice, weaseling your way into the palace to finish the job."

Why are you like this, Tasia? Okay, you're worried about the assassin, but throwing sudden accusations isn't going to help you. And since when you have suspected Joslyn of anything? This comes completely out of the blue. "That eases my burden none, I won't rest until I find the mastermind behind the assassin." Would have been a way better response while still coming across as angry and aloof. Her actual answer not only makes her come across as angry but as a total idiot as well.

[...] to the Princess's private apartments, at which point Joslyn slipped ahead of her and inspected all three chambers - the antechamber, Tasia's bedchamber, the servant's bedchamber. Tasia put on a show of the inspection being superfluous and unnecessary, but secretly she was glad for the guard's diligent caution.

If you are grateful for it, why did you put on a show and got mad? The only thing you will get doing this is that Joslyn will be less eager to inspect the rooms next time. Granted, she answers to the Emperor, but if you're telling her that the inspection doesn't need to be done, she might think twice about it next time. Why is the author doing this? This is not cute, this is not "banter, or "rivals to lovers" or whatever, this is just stupid and makes Tasia look immature.

Whatever it was, Tasia had to admit to herselt that she felt just a little bit safer as she crossed the treshold into her private chambers.

A shame that this won't stop you from being an asshole to Joslyn.

#Princess of Dorsa #fantasy #Eliza Andrews #chapter by chapter review #bisexual literature #bisexual protagonist #bisexual love interest #several love interests #Violet Reviews #wlw books

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eds-gryff · 5 years

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Dust (Peter Parker x Reader)

Takes place right after IW. I'm sorry that it's soooo long but I wanted to post it all at once. @jordsie know it's not HP related but still tagging.

You weren't on the trip to MoMA because you had mono, courtesy of kissing Peter. Kidding, you just have really bad period cramps. Though you did kiss Peter (and enjoy it) a lot. A LOT. Especially when he uses his webs- um. Nothing.

You were holed up in your room, groaning and cursing God for this uninvited and unwanted monthly subscription to Satan's waterfall. Frankly, when you were younger the only reason you were even 1% glad about this was because you thought it was a certainty of becoming a mom. But well, now you knew the truth- it's because God hated women from the beginning.

The cramps really were horrible.

You had just managed to get up, tie your (H/C) hair sloppily and stumble for for some medicine. Just make this pain go away!

You were horrified beyond anything you imagined when you saw your father disintegrating in front of your very eyes.

"Dad?" You say, terrified and hold your hand out to touch him but you only feel sand.

"(Y/N)-" My knight in shining armour, the best and earliest protector gasped out before he disintegrated completely into dust.

Cramps? What's that?

What had happened? What, who had killed my father? Who has the audacity to do this?

"Dad-a-Da-" You choke out before you fall on the floor, weeping for your father and hoping that the same fate hadn't befallen your mother and brother or Peter.

Why had you been left, you wanted to know. If it was sins, I should go. If it was anyone ANYTHING, it should've been you. You. You. No one else. You were the worthless one, he was the best person.

Thinking you'd just died, you got up, you had to check on your mom and your younger sibling.

"Mo-mom-" you choked out as soon as you heard her crying voice. She wasn't dust.

"You're okay, you're okay, I'm okay, (Y/sibling/N)'s fine but half my students are just-"

"Dust." You say in a blank horrified silence. What the FUCK was going on?

"Is your father-" She managed to ask before I lost it completely and broke down crying.

~time skip ~

Despite the disintegration business, your mom couldn't come home because she was a teacher and had to look after her kids there.

You were numb, you couldn't bring yourself to care.

You managed to get some of...of your father, you nearly had a seizure as you thought that and carefully put it into the fanciest dish you saw and covered it.

You called Peter. No answer. You died again.

Somehow, still alive, you managed to call Ned.

"(Y/N)?" His voice was nothing special but it was the most beautiful sound just then- a sound of hope.

"Ned-" you croaked in relief. "-who?"

His voice took on a true depressed and cry-ey tone. "MJ, Harry, Sally, Jason, G-"

"Stop!" I yelled out. "I just saw my father, my first love, turn into dust in front of my eyes, I can't ... Can't think of them like that too. But .....Peter?" You ask resolutely when all you wanted to do was crawl into your bed and never wake up again. Or you know, die.

"I don't know." You heard his honest voice and half your would shrivelled away and the other glowed. "There were these donut shaped spaceships outside...he asked me to cause a distraction and leapt out."

"There's a chance he's fine." Your optimistic heart says out loud but the realist in you thinks, 'But he could be dead.'

It isn't until 2 days later, when your already broken spirit, because of your father, God, everytim you closed your eyes you could see him fading and his vulnerable voice, saying my name, oh god, was totally scattered to the wind, just like the dust which had made up your soulmate, Peter Benjamin Parker's body.

****

You hadn't laughed in weeks. Or even smiled.

Your father's last words were your name, pleading, to save him, you would've, you would've given your soul but you couldn't and it was your fault he became dust.

So of course, it was only right (wrong) that Peter's last words were just as heart breaking and wrenching.

"I don't wanna go, Mr. Stark, save me, please, I don't wanna go." As if this wasn't enough to, oh gosh, the thought itself sent you crying, but his actually last words were,"I'm sorry."

Because he thought he disappointed Mr. Stark. Because he thought he'd disappointed Aunt May.

Because he thought he'd disappointed you and Ned and MJ and his true friends. Because he thought he'd disappointed the world.

Because he thought he'd disappointed his parents. Because he thought he'd disappointed his late Uncle Ben.

"Peter, you idiot!" You scream into your pillow and want some to be there for you and then realise how exceptionally sad it was the person you wanted to comfort you was the same person because of why you had to be comforted and who couldn't do it.

Day, you slept, you cried, you screamed, you broke stuff. Night, you sat on the fire escape and thought and were as silent as possible. Your mother needed the sleep and you were so selfish you couldn't comfort her, she'd lost her past and present, but you'd lost your past, present and future. She'd lost her husband and soulmate, and I'd lost my boyfriend, my soulmate and my father. 'I can't believe I'm comparing.'

You'd think about how you once asked your father when you were 8 what a virgin was and he'd choked and panicked and said it was a girl who hadn't been touched by a man but you sensed something was wrong, so you didn't say that then you weren't a virgin either.

That's true now.

You'd think about how Peter had revealed his identity to you, right there, right after you'd kissed each other senseless for the first time.

'I want to kiss him again.' You think.

You thought about begging your father for an Avengers t shirt a couple of years back and he'd ordered something online and you'd given him a hell of a time for buying what he wanted but not what I wanted and then he opened it to show me the tee I'd wanted all along.

He was the greatest. He wasn't perfect but he was to you.

You thought about when Peter had been so wounded from a fight, he refused to tell you who the opponent was but he was so hurt and there was so much blood and thank god for the Internet or he would have died.

It was because of him you had seriously considered a career in nursing for a while before deciding on writing or journalism.

You thought about watching movies and making fun of them with your father.

You thought of reading and geeking out with Peter.

You thought of talking about cars and walking around fancy car dealerships with your father, to stare at the cars. Lamborghini Aventador was your favourite. You thought how extremely similar you were, yet how different yet how much of a father-daughter.

You thought of having sex with Peter. You thought about his lips, his hair, his eyes, his kiss, his touch.

You thought of them and you mourned.

Then as dawn broke, you'd slip back in and lay in your bed and let a nightmare plagued sleep overcome you.

Until one day, Tony Stark randomly showed up at your escape as you were brooding and told you that people were to start returning soon and could you wake your mother and brother and see if they wanted to see your father.

You fell off the fire escape.

Iron Man saved your life.

You didn't care, you were going to see Peter and your father again.

You were flying with the man with the suit made of gold titanium alloy and you asked, "How did you...?"

He must've glared at you.

"Confidential. But we defeated Thanos and got EVERYONE, killed before and after the snap."

He dropped you off in AFRICA??? Your other family had been dropped off by other Iron Men suits here too.

"Oh crap, I forgot his aunt. Stay in school, kid and don't tell her that I forgot. I'm off to get her now." He cursed, warned and jetted off.

You held your mother's hand, for the first time voluntarily in years and your beautiful brother held her other hand and you made up your mind to to spend more time with him. You saw a blonde woman wearing a super suit but you didn't know her. You spotter Captain America hugging a long haired man. You saw a carrot haired woman wearing scarlet, Scarlet Witch kissing a robot...or was it the Android, Vision? Whatever and whoever it was, you were happy for everyone who'd got back their lost loves back.

"Daddy!" Your brother suddenly screamed and ran, forgetting bout you, and no one reprimanded him for it because you were too busy hugging and crying and feeling remorseful at your father's appearance.

"It was my fault, I couldn't save you." You whispered as you hugged your father.

"If this was death, it wasn't too bad. I just felt like I was flying. And we were in some orange place....and what did you say? Your fault? You sound as stupid as Deep Blue Sea's directors." At which point you both laughed and cried.

Someone tapped your shoulder and you were so annoyed because HOW DARE ANYONE INTERRUPT YOUR DADDY DAUGHTER TIME.

Till you turned around and the whole world stopped.

It was Peter. Wearing some more advanced suit instead of the other tech one but you didnt notice that till much later.

"Your period is over, then?" He asked pleasantly as if he hadn't been dead for God knows how long.

Tears still streaming down your face, you tossed your hair, narrowed your eyes and punched him in the nose, taking no notice of your family's muttered surprise about 'Was he Spider-Man?' and your brother's shouts of 'SPIDEY!'

He barely faltered.

"What the hell was that for? Because I didn't bring the notes from the trip? I couldn't, I was in space. Or is it the fact that I smell like I've been dead or like I'd been stuck in a gooey candy world? Maybe because I have been. Dead, I mean, not in the candy world but the sou-"

And then you kissed him so hard and passionately that his words turned into nothingness and he kissed just as hard and furiously, because you'd both missed each other so much and you ignore your father's coughs, you could see him at home later and besides you'd already celebrated his homecoming.

So you backed Peter into a tree. And kissed him until the tree spoke. "I aM gRoOt."

"Maybe I'll ask T'Challa, the King here for one, you talking shrub." Peter said annoyed at the tree, which had eyes and frankly, it looked adorable. Even if it was almost as tall as Peter.

"Um." You interjected.

"Oh, uh, (Y/N), this herb here is Groot, he's a member of the Guardians of the Galaxy who are exactly what they sound as, and Groot, this is my girlfriend."

"I am Groot?" It sounded like a question but you weren't sure.

"No you CANNOT DATE HER, SHE's my GIRLFRIEND!" Peter screams in frustration and he pushes Groot towards a talking raccoon who's taking to a green woman and a woman with antennae. Okay.

"You'll ask who for what?" You decide to ask what seemed to be the most normal thing to ask.

"Black Panther, the King. For a room. Which the bamboo tree suggested."

"Groot wasn't wrong." You nudged him. "We need to catch up. Verbally and physically." You run your fingers through his wavy hair.

He looked like he was about to web away to the King. Then he stopped and asked, "Before I do that, where's May? Tony told me he'd bring her."

You laughed.

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bluephoenixdruidicprincess · 5 years

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Legacies 1x06, Mombie Dearest Review

I guess it's time. It's time for my weekly torture session. Screw the fiery pits of hell. If I'm really bound for hell -- as my Sunday school teacher once told me I was since I was a child born and conceived out of wedlock -- all Satan really needs to do to make me suffer is make me watch this dumb show for all eternity. Maybe that's what this show is, maybe that's why it exists. Perhaps JP is a denizen of hell come to Earth to create more torture fodder to be used in hell.

This is going to be an honest review of my thoughts and feelings regarding Legacies, the spin-off of a spin-off that should never have come to pass. But here we are. I'm not a fan of the show, have never pretended to be one so if you're looking for Legacies positivity, this is not the place for you. Keep in mind these are my thoughts and feelings about this mess of a show. Opinions are never right or wrong. I'm not telling you how to think and feel. You don't have to agree with my opinions but I would ask that you respect them, please. Also, spoilers for the episode so if you haven't seen the episode yet, watch the episode and then come back...otherwise read at your own risk. But let's be real here. I'm sure my followers who end up reading this have no desire to watch this show and use my ramblings as a substitute for actually watching the show...those selfish jerks...just kidding I love all my followers and please only watch the show if you really want to. I'm making a sacrifice watching the show so you don't have to.

Alright, let's get into this. 1x06, Mombie Dearest, what happened? Well, a necromancer brings back the twins' bio mother, Jo. But everyone realizes by the end of the episode that mombie dearest being back is not a good thing -- real shock, I know. I have no idea what could possibly have given it away. Maybe it was the dead rising from the Salvatore cemetery or maybe it was Jo, under the control of a necromancer, burying Josie alive. Who can say what really gave it away? The twins say good-bye to Jo and siphon all the magic out of Jo's body, thus killing her a second time. We meet the necromancer who brought Jo back and Alaric vows revenge. The necromancer better watch out. Truly, human 50--year-old pedophile Alaric is a force to be reckoned with.

It's also the twins' sweet sixteen. So in typical JP TVD fashion, of course there's a party. And this party was pretty boring. Myself, a bookish nerd who never goes out, has been to parties more lively than this one.

And right off the bat, the show immediately showcases why MG is absolutely THE WORST! Immediately, he comes up to Penelope and says he respects women and hates all forms of toxic masculinity. Really, MG? Do you really? Because there's plenty of evidence in episodes prior that would suggest otherwise. In this episode, MG is really creepy about his whole Lizzie fetish. And that's what I'm calling it. I'm calling it a fetish, not a crush. Because I don't believe for a second MG actually likes Lizzie as a person. He knows her favorite color, talks about how pretty she is but he never once talks about what about her, personality-wise, he likes about her. And I'm not saying Lizzie isn't likable, she definitely is, I adore Lizzie in all of her flawed glory, but I don't think MG actually does. He fetishizes her and that's it. He's so certain that if he gets one chance with her, he'll have her. Let's not disregard the fact that MG, despite saying he respects women, clearly sees Lizzie as something he has the right to own. Lizzie has given no inclination that she harbors any sort of romantic interest in MG but yet he's so convinced that if Penelope keeps Rafael away from Lizzie long enough for MG to make his move, Lizzie will fall for him instantly and realize the nice guy trope is the only trope for her. But the second Rafael shows up again and Lizzie chooses Rafael over MG, MG gets all angry about it. Like, "how dare Lizzie choose another guy when she could've had me?" Well, my friend, if it was like you said and all Lizzie needed was a few moments with you and she would've seen the light, then she would've chosen you, wouldn't she? It's not her fault, it's not Penelope's fault, it's not Rafael's fault, you've been friend-zoned, get over it. I thought you respected women? Or are their choices also not worthy of respect? In actuality, you don't respect women. You respect women when they give you what you want, as soon as they don't, as soon as they don't validate you, it must be their fault. MG, much like JP, has a very surface level of what respecting women actually entails. And really, if it came to a choice between Rafael and MG, I'd probably pick Rafael too. He may be boring but at least he probably doesn't have a creepy fetish towards me.

Caroline's absence is also explained, finally. Even though I already knew because of additional material I read about the show. Caroline isn't around because she's off trying to find a way to save the twins from that unfortunate Gemini coven mandate that one twin has to absorb the other on their 22nd birthday. Caroline's apparently embroiled in something that's going to help with that and thus can't be there for the twins' sweet sixteen. But this is really code for that Candace most likely just wants to put this trashy franchise behind her. But not to worry, why have the amazing Caroline around when you can have dull Jo back from the dead?

So Josie starts hanging around with Jo and this eventually leads her to being kidnapped and buried alive by Jo under the control of the necromancer. The necromancer wants...you guessed it, the knife in exchange for Josie. Penelope, MG, and Hope end up looking for Josie in the cemetery and end up in a third-rate zombie horror flick. I can't help but feel it's really strange that a vampire and two witches were struggling so much with these zombies. MG is blessed with super strength. Penelope and Hope are witches who have the power to give brain aneurysms. Not to mention, as the show loves to point out, Hope is perfect. She has the power to fight a dragon, a huge spider, but not zombies. The undead...her true nemesis, I guess...which is ironic considering she's part undead both biologically and mentally. They eventually find Josie through a necklace Hope had conveniently given Josie earlier in the episode as a birthday gift. If I didn't know this show thrived on plot convenience, I'd almost think Hope knew what was going to happen to Josie. I mean, out of all the birthday gifts to give Josie, she gives her a necklace that has a very specific ability to help with this particular scenario? Wouldn't it be a plot twist if Hope was actually the villain pulling all the strings here? She might actually be interesting if that were the case. But I know better. Then we end this particular plot thread with some truly horrifying dialogue about MG realizing he's a superhero and Hope has her team of Avengers. For some reason, Penelope finds MG's antics about being a superhero hilarious, I have no idea why, and when Josie thanks MG for saving her, he pumps his fist and is all, "my first super-hero thank you!" And I'm just like, could you be more obnoxious and horrible? It's not like Josie just went through a traumatic experience or anything. Then we have an equally cheesy conversation between Penelope and Josie. They kiss and Josie laments on how much she hates Penelope and Penelope says, "I know". Cue the eye-roll, please.

But the episode, thankfully ends when Jo dies again, everyone is sad, and Alaric hits the necromancer with a shovel.

Something else I wanted to bring up. So before they kill Jo, at first the twins say they don't want to do it but then Jo tells them they're witches, they need to because witches are all about the natural balance and yadda yadda yadda. I just think Jo talking to the twins about what's natural and what isn't is kind of strange. The twins existing isn't natural. When Jo died the first time, the coven moved the twins from Jo's womb into Caroline's and for some reason, Caroline's womb still functioned perfectly despite being a vampire. Last I checked, that is something most decidedly not natural. Just thought I'd bring that up.

Phew, this episode, I didn't enjoy it but it could possibly have been enjoyable if it weren't for the fact 98% of the characters are self-inserts. It's really hard to care about characters who basically have no personality, no reason for me to like them. This episode gets a C-. Potential was there but completely squandered.

#anti legacies #anti legacies 1x06 #anti legacies mombie dearest

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abaikgirl · 6 years

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Loki, Asgard’s UN Representative

So I had this idea of what if after Avengers 4, after Thor defeats Thanos, settles the remainder of Asgard on earth and brings Loki back to life, Loki becomes the right hand to the throne and handles all diplomatic and foreign relations for Asgard (because he’s so sly and silvertongued and Thor is actually perfectly awful at diplomacy). So of course Thor chooses Loki to represent Asgard at the United Nations meeting and Loki goes in guns blazing to make things better for his people and takes advantage of the fact that everyone is terrified of him to do whatever the hell he wants. Anyways, it was kind of a one shot I wrote in a hurry, so enjoy!

“And now we call attention to the newest member of the United Nations-the sovereign nation of Asgardia, represented by Loki Odinson, All-Brother and advisor to the throne.” Although the words were said with decorum, there was a quiver in the voice of the UN head that betrayed the fear all in the room felt at having a former super villain present with them.

Loki rose from his seat at the back and gracefully walked to the microphone. Despite being a thousand year-old Norse god from space, he wore a simple but expertly tailored black suit that lacked any ornamentation except for a single gold lapel pin that had an elaborate knot design etched in it. His shoulder length hair was slicked back in soft curls and his smile was warm and gracious as he looked at the diplomats before him. Despite themselves, his refined appearance and elegant movements made many of the women and men in the room feel a rush of attraction. This wasn’t done by any magic because upon hearing that King Thor had appointed his brother Loki as Asgard’s UN representative, the leaders of the world reached out to Doctor Strange who was more than happy to put up anti-magic charms all around the main chamber to prevent Loki from getting out of hand. So no, this wasn’t magically induced attraction and trust, this was Loki doing what he did best—winning people over with his silver tongue and good looks.

“Citizens of the world, leaders of earth,” he began. “I understand many, if not all of you, are quite disturbed at the thought of having me be a part of your council. Considering the horrendously bad first impression I made, I can hardly blame you. However, you may put your worries to rest as I come as a humble representative of the Asgardian people to work in unity to find solutions that not only benefit Asgard, but all the nations of Earth.”

Loki allowed a pause, smiling warmly at the representatives half of whom looked ready to eat out of the palm of his hand and the other half looked entirely unimpressed with his eloquent “I’m good now” speech. Undeterred by their doubting expressions, he continued. Looking down, he pretended to be consulting notes even though he had the entire speech fully memorized and prepared, but the need for assist made him look more human and thereby more accessible to the mortals around him.

“The first topic Asgard wishes to bring before the United Nations is the abolishment of the Sokovia Accords.” For a moment, the contented lull he had induced on the crowd was broken and there was a flurry of urgent murmurs. Loki, undeterred by this rush of sound, continued. “Considering the fact that the accords seek to control and condemn Asgard’s leader, All-Brother Thor Odinson, Rightful King of Asgard, it cannot continue to be a functioning part of the world government and we move to have it abolished immediately.”

General Ross leaned forward to speak into his microphone. “With all do respect, Mr. Loki, the accords seek to prevent out-of-control vigilantes from running amuck in other countries. To abolish it is to put the world at risk.” Loki’s grin widened, turning colder and steelier as his bright green eyes settled on the general like a wolf that had spotted its prey. “And you would know all about putting people at risk, now wouldn’t you, General Ross?” There was a glimmer of fear in Ross’ eyes and Loki savored it as he continued to fix his gaze on the weak man before him. “After all, you were the one who led a military detail against an unstable and uncontrollable element, known as the Hulk, on a public college campus, endangering hundreds of innocent bystanders by your clumsy and bullheaded antagonization of said Hulk?”

Ross began to sweat and broke his gaze to look at the representatives around him for support. “That was—”

But Loki didn’t allow him to finish and plowed on. “I also recall you captured the Hulk after he had changed back into Bruce Banner only to release him on the unsuspecting population of Harlem to quell the rise of another unstable element—a member of your own team no less.” Loki let out a short, breathy laugh. “In all honesty, under the accords as they stand General Ross, you should be equally restrained and scrutinized for such reckless endangerment of human life that you accuse the Avengers to be guilty of.” Ross attempted to defend himself but Loki had already turned his attention back to the assembly. “Ladies and gentlemen of the United Nations, I am not here to say that my dear brother couldn’t use a bit of restraint. I, of all people know how reckless he can be. But as someone who once marched on the city of New York with the intent of conquering it, I can say with full confidence that the world is better protected with the Avengers and groups like them being given free mobility in emergency situations.”

This statement gained Loki some traction as the other delegates began to whisper amongst themselves that he had a very good point. After all, Thanos had wiped out half the universe only a few months ago and it was good that the Avengers had ignored the Accords and sprung into action to change that.

General Ross could feel his position quickly slipping and stood up. “Now, hold on. We can’t just let this…super villain come in here and overthrow important legislation for the selfish reason of allowing his brother do whatever he likes.”

“First of all, these accords affect the leaders of two sovereign nations,” Loki interjected. “Both Asgard and Wakanda are led by those who have risked their lives to save the world, so this is not only affecting my brother, but also King T’Challa whom I understand has only recently opened the borders of his country to the rest of the world. I would think it unwise to impose illegal and discriminatory legislation on their leader at such a delicate time. And second,” Loki gave General Ross a smile that dropped the temperature of the room a few degrees, “that’s reformed super villain to you.”

A deathly silence followed, broken only by Loki’s renewed cheerful tone. “All those in favor of abolishing the accords?”

No one dared to tell Loki he wasn’t authorized to initiate voting on a policy and it was almost unanimous.***

When Loki left the chamber, Thor was waiting for him and making conversation with T’Challa and his entourage. In all honesty, Loki adored Wakanda. Maybe it was the technological advancements, or the centuries of unbroken tradition or the all female royal guard—but it reminded him of home. Of course, the Wakandans did not share his same sentiment and as he approached they were guarded and reserved. It would take a lot for them to stop seeing him as the pawn of Thanos and start seeing him as a Thor saw him—a hero, a prince and an ally of Asgard.

Thor saw him and gave him a wide smile. “Brother! I saw the recording of your meeting. A true victory!” Thor clapped him on the shoulder and Loki returned his smile.

Turning to the Wakanda leadership, Loki gave a small bow. “King T’Challa,” he greeted.

“I appreciate what you have done for Wakanda and the Avengers,” T’Challa said, “But as I was just telling your brother, I still do not trust you to always do what is best for the whole.”

“I’m hurt,” Loki replied, but his playful smile didn’t match his words. “After all, I’m a diplomat now and that means I will always do what is best for Asgard and her allies. Are you one of our allies, King T’Challa?”

The Wakanda king frowned at Loki’s tone and stared at him for a few moments, appraising him. “I am an ally of Thor’s,” he responded in a careful tone.

“Well then, it seems that, like it or not, you will have to learn to trust me.”

Thor nervously looked from Loki to T’Challa, waiting for some further arguing and when none came he laughed. “It’s good to see you’re making friends, brother.” Turning to T’Challa, he tried to look more serious. “I assure you Man of Panthers, I trust Loki with my life. He has fought by my side in many battles for the good of Asgard and the universe, and I know he would do it again. You have my word, he is trustworthy.”

T’Challa looked as surprised as Loki did. T’Challa knew how important and binding oaths were to the Asgardians and no matter how often Thor expressed his admiration and trust for his brother since the destruction of Asgard, Loki didn’t think he would ever get used to it.

Brunnhilde approached them, her Valkyrie armor looking as out of place in the sleek modern UN building as Thor’s kingly attire, but if she noticed she didn’t show it. Loki watched how the crowd parted around Brunnhilde as she walked and he smiled, wondering how the UN would like it she were Asgard’s representative instead of him. After ten minutes they would practically beg to have him back.

“All-Brothers,” she greeted, with a secret smile. Heimdall had coined the title, back on the ark. Thor was pretty sure he had said it in jest, but somehow it stuck and now that was what everyone called them. Thor and Loki, All-Brothers on the throne of Asgard. “If we plan to make all of the appointments of the day, we had better go,” Brunnhilde informed them.

“Of course,” Thor replied with a boyish smile. “Until next time, my friends.”

T’Challa crossed his arms in the Wakanda salute which Thor, Loki and Brunnhilde returned.

Brunnhilde led the way to the slab of concrete the UN had laid especially for them. It was still freshly singed from their arrival and there was no doubt it would only continue to be worn away with further usage. Loki thought back on his conversation with T’Challa and frowned. “They still don’t trust me, brother,” he grumbled.

“They will,” Thor replied. Lifting Stormbreaker to the sky, he opened the bifrost and with a flash of light they were taken home to Asgard.

Thanks for reading. Should I write more? Let me know!

Special thanks to @the-spastic-pen for pre-reading.

#loki #avengers 4 #marvel fanfiction #thor #valkyrie #loki drags general ross #abaikgirl

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nightkitchentarot · 2 years

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Decisions, decisions: a pro-choice story

We are now in a WHOLE NEW MONTH! WHOLE NEW MONTH! And unfortunately, at the same time, we have regressed by decades, poised to strip people with a uterus of their right to bodily autonomy, the rights of everyone to marry whomever they love, regardless of gender or race, to receive appropriate healthcare and support, and so much more.

What follows is a story from my life, a large part of which I have told exactly one other human because I consider it a personal decision. When I was 18 years old, I got pregnant. I was in love with a man my parents would refuse to meet simply because he was Black. My mother would tell me in anger that she didn’t want half-breed grandchildren. Never mind that he was a star student at my college, a cool young man who was a popular DJ for the school radio station. He was an amazing human. They disowned me, forcing me to leave college for a time. My father died in the midst of this relationship and my mother informed me that I had killed him. My boyfriend and I were spat on—and worse—on the streets of Greensboro, North Carolina, where we lived.

I knew I was too young and immature and poor to have a child. I knew the world would be an extremely difficult place for that biracial human to grow up in, given the hate and violence we had felt and faced already. I was too grief-stricken at my father’s death and the misplaced guilt I felt for that. I decided to have an abortion. The word “decided” is even too large a word. I didn’t decide as much as know I must. It was the late 1970s. That child, had I carried them to term, would be 44 years old now. My life and what I offer to the world would have been vastly, unimaginably different. Do I wonder about that sometimes? Of course I do. Was it a selfish decision? Is self-care selfish?

I didn’t even have the money needed for the abortion. A professor of mine gave me the money I needed. I drove there alone, and walked through a phalanx of anti-abortion protestors carrying signs with fetuses on them. I looked straight ahead until I reached the door. I turned at the door and shouted “YOU DON’T KNOW ME. HOW DARE YOU” before going inside. I went alone because I knew the judgment would have been far worse had my boyfriend gone with me. I couldn’t bear that for him.

It is easy for others to say that my decision was the right or wrong decision only because they are not me. And only I should have that right. That decision changed my life forever. FOREVER. And until legislators are willing to be pro-life after babies are born and make it possible for people to work and contribute to the world in addition to being ovens for babies—by enacting child-friendly and parent-friendly legislation—they cannot and must not legislate our uteruses. And not even then.

Did I make the right decision? It’s not for anyone to say but me. We must protect the rights of women everywhere to make that decision for themselves. And this movement is about far more than stripping child-bearing people of their rights.

This is scary. It is happening. And it has far-reaching implications. Yes, be pro-life if you want to. For yourself. Your belief system is not everyone’s belief system. Stop being a missionary to those you perceive as heathens. It smacks of white supremacy and saviorism. You may worship a vengeful god who requires you to prove yourself in order to get to heaven. That path is paved with ego. It is paved with a kind of gold only you can access, not the poor mothers who cannot support the children you are forcing them to have. The rich children and grandchildren of these legislators will still have access to abortion, no matter what. Don’t fool yourself into thinking this provides a level playing field for all fetuses. And don’t fool yourself into thinking this will end abortions. It will simply end SAFE abortions for most people. Child-bearing humans will die as a result.

Men, we need you to step the hell up. Your genitals play a key role in this, and so far, you have gotten a pass. It’s time to change that. Use that penis privilege to create change.

-- Patti Digh

#abortion #pro-choice

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crimsonrevolt · 6 years

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Congratulations Sass you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Cassandra Burke

↳ please refer to our character checklist

Sass, we’re so happy to see you return to the group! The development you’ve brought to Cassandra from her starting skeleton is amazing, and the passion you have for writing her is obvious in every part of your application. Your writing samples do a wonderful job of explaining Cassandra’s current position in the overall plot and exploring the way she’s been changed by the effects of the war, and we can’t wait to see what you do with her next!

*Your faceclaim change to Nina Dobrev has been accepted

application beneath the cut ( tw: PTSD, trauma, abuse, assault, knives, death )

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Hey, I’m Sass, twenty-four years old and from the GMT+1 timezone.

ACTIVITY

Oh, probably a 6-7/10. To be honest I do have days on which I can’t be online at all, because I do have a full-time job nowadays and other commitments, but I do intend to dedicate enough time to Cassandra to develop her further and fully push her into all the drama, all the good stuff.

TRIGGERS

*removed for privacy

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

Originally through the first admin and I’ve been a member ever since (well, with a two month hiatus?)

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

Probably with Fred Weasley. As a twin I’m constantly with my twin brother and I’m fiercely protective of him. Also I feel like out of us I’m the one who speaks first and I’m also more outgoing than my brother.

ANYTHING ELSE?

I’m just glad to be back, y’all.

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

Cassandra – From the Greek name Κασσανδρα (Kassandra), derived from possibly κεκασμαι (kekasmai) “to excel, to shine” and ανηρ (aner) “man” (genitive ανδρος). In Greek myth Cassandra was a Trojan princess, the daughter of Priam and Hecuba. She was given the gift of prophecy by Apollo, but when she spurned his advances he cursed her so nobody would believe her prophecies.In the Middle Ages this name was common in England due to the popularity of medieval tales about the Trojan War. It subsequently became rare, but was revived in the 20th century. Morrigan – Derived from Irish Mór Ríoghain meaning “great queen”. In Irish myth she was a goddess of war and death who often took the form of a crow. Burke – Derived from Middle English burk meaning “fort or fortified town”. It was brought to Ireland in the 12th century by the Norman invader William FitzAdelm de Burgo.

BIRTHDAY / STAR SIGN

Novermber 5th 1957 – SCORPIO -- One of the most sensitive signs in the zodiac, Scorpio women feel their emotions intensely, though they may not always express them overtly. A water-ruled sign, Scorpio is symbolized by the submerged depths, like the pure waters flowing through an underground cave. But you may not see the currents or waves rippling through her facial expressions – much of what a Scorpio woman feels, she won’t always express overtly. Scorpios rule over the occult sciences, and the true meaning of the word “occult” is “hidden” – hence, the Scorpionic tendency toward secrecy and inscrutability. Only the most determined (and respectful) will be granted permission to explore the secret caverns within the heart of a Scorpio woman.

OCCUPATION

She used to be the co-owner of Borgin & Burkes, but is currently a neutral spy mostly affiliated with the Order of the Phoenix (but then again they threw her out, so it’s to being completely neutral again) I’d describe her as almost unemployed? Considering she’s still missing.

FACE CLAIM

Nina Dobrev

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

I once described her as poison, and she is. I believe every character who’d been with her received their dose of poison and only some managed to find an antidote. It’s not meant in a seductive way, not entirely, but more or less like real poison. Everything she touches gets corrupted, even the most innocent minds, and it’s pretty obvious that she’s a master manipulator and someone who looks out for herself, most importantly. She’d been a Death Eater, a seductress, a liar, a fiancee, a friend, daughter, enemy – anything you can think of, but all she wants to be is a free woman, alive and happy. It’s the old tale of having a strong, flawed character, who has been through hell and survived, who promised herself to change the world for the better, who loved and spent days remembering her happiest moments before being thrown to the wolves again. I remember describing her as this cunning, calculating Femme Fatale with only selfish intentions, but she has grown and learned from her mistakes. She’s almost altruistic nowadays, at least when it comes to her friends.

This war and everything else is something she’d lived with, one of the few who actively lived through the horrors of war – but she has no regrets whatsoever. In fact, Cassandra feels like it’s her main goal to not only be free, but to help end this war. I just love her so much y’all.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

She’s experienced both in love and sex – and some might even say she’s one of the best. Cassandra’s biromantic/sexual and goes by she/her pronouns as a cis female.

For ships, well, it’s a bit more complicated than that. I think I can’t really comment on that since a lot has changed over the past few months, so I’m not sure where new plots and ideas will lead to.

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER

I have everything on my blog

Graphics, other stuff I made

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

“Easy. A spell that changes your personality permanently. Effective to hide or be someone else for a day, you know? In times like these it’s pretty effective and safe to just be a Muggle for a day or two.”

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

“I’d say Orion Black since he’s experienced enough and would most likely survive on his own as well, so I’m not at all concerned. And as an object I’d probably choose a Portkey, just to make sure we’d find our way out immediately.”

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

“Love. Always love – a bloody nightmare, I tell you.”

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

“That I lived my life in vain, not really accomplishing anything.”

REACTION TO LAST EVENT DROP

Well, she did got captured. She wasn’t happy about being captured I can tell you all that much, also she wasn’t happy about being thrown out of the Order castle because others couldn’t warm up to her. She’s not really mad, but more or less frustrated. She did change and she’s not a Death Eater anymore, but there’s just no trust between the Order and Cassandra even though she did reveal her memories to Amos and the gang hoping it would make them trust her more. It worked on some, but not enough.

WRITING SAMPLE

1. – I AM RUINATION

April 4th 1979

trigger warnings: PTSD, trauma, abuse, assault, knives, death

“I am ruination,” her voice was merely a whisper, but the psychologist in front of her heard everything, every breath she took in their little zone, those four walls which were covered in a light grey, almost white tone. “How so, Miss Burke. Mrs. Rookwood?” he slowly tried to make sense out of her words, but he failed to understand her, as he should. “Burke, of course. I never actually married him. I couldn’t – not anymore,” Mr. Seymour, her psychologist, shook his head and gestured towards her engagement ring, which she still wore, polished everyday and kept clean over the past months. “A facade, that’s all,” she even wore Evan’s engagement ring, just because she loved the gem set between gold too much to ever take off the ring, at least for now. They were cruel reminders of what she’d endured, who she had to face in order to be free. She thoroughly pushed her thumb against her other hand, aggressively massaged the back of her hand to numb herself. “I never really cared if they were engagement rings or not – It’s already fucked up to know I have two,” she closed her eyes. “I wear them because they show me who I could’ve been if I hadn’t found the strength to follow my heart. I started to believe I had to follow my family’s path, that I have to believe in their lies, that I couldn’t be more than what they’d planned for me.” Cassandra took a deep sigh and she felt her throat contracting, resulting in her barely being able to breathe properly. “They judged me all my life and I let them. I thought I was a monster,” Cassandra watched Mr. Seymour and she realized, rather quickly, that she had to make him forget once they were done. “And you thought no one would understand? A typical case in Pureblood families. You felt like nobody would even dare to help you even if you’d have asked for it. But no one’s alone in this world, I hope you realize that.”

“But I’m ruination,” Cassandra muttered, gulping and shaking her head. “Everyone deserves to be saved, even if they believe they’re doomed. This isn’t the end, Miss Burke,” he was quickly cut off by Cass, who had now raised her voice slightly. “I have lead men to their death, I’ve risked the lives of the people that I love because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I endured immeasurable amounts of pain in return, just to keep them save. I still hear myself screaming, the Cruciatus curse running through my veins and I could never tell anyone about it, because it hurts so much, he broke me. I don’t want to live in pain – and I would’ve rather died than endure just one more second of the curse.” she breathed heavily. Mr. Seymour’s eyes widened in shock at how direct she was, something he hadn’t guessed from someone like her, especially not in front of an official psychologist for the Ministry. “The pain you’ve endured doesn’t define who you are and especially doesn’t mean you’re ruination. Others are, Miss Burke,” Cassandra tried to drown out her own screams, which were repeatedly resurfacing in her head. “The pain has shaped me to who I am now. The pain made me stronger.” “Yes, good.”

“I killed so many Halfbloods, Muggleborns and Purebloods, I lost count. I lured so many men to their deaths, that sometimes I feel like I’ve killed ten in a week, enemies, politicians, Muggles – for the sake of you-know-who and for the sake of my family. I sometimes wonder if Evan’s punishment was justified. He was right, you know? I’m currently playing my games, I haven’t leaned a thing. Nothing. I have scars to prove what I’ve endured, but I wonder if anything changed around me, except me.”

“You pity yourself – the hardships you’ve endured weigh you down. You need hope, love – you’re still here, you still breathe, that’s worth something.” Cassandra shook her head and chuckled slightly. “Do you honestly think those things will be my salvation? They’ve made me who I am in the first place. It’s the pain I cannot stand on its own, the memories. The sacrifices I’ve made until now have made me stronger, but I fear his judgement.” “Whose judgement?” “Amos. Amos Diggory?” He looked at her with a puzzled expression. “He has all my memories. He’ll see myself growing up, being formed into an obedient wife and Death Eater, how I’ve killed someone for the first time and how proud my father was. I never wanted to be such a problem, but I am. I have so much information stored as memories, but there’s also the pain and the darkness within he’ll finally see – and I don’t want to lose him, even if he said he’ll stay, those memories do not define who I am today.”

She took a deep breath. “He’ll see the pain, the love, the lust, everything. There’s so much you will never know, but he will. And I care more about his opinion than about yours.” Mr. Seymour leaned into his chair, slightly distancing himself from her, as if he tried to calm her down with that. “Do you know why I am here?” “Because they want to find out if I’m worth being pardoned. If my memories classify as worthy enough as exchange for my freedom?” “Precisely.” a quill next to his head wrote down every word they spoke, every stop, everything that could potentially be of use later on. As thoughts mixed inside of her head, Cassandra’s eyes fixed on different objects in the room, but never stayed there for too long as anxiety kicked in every few seconds. “And why are you here?” “Because I want to be free.” “There are few rules you need to keep in mind, but first – I’d like to enter your mind, so that I get a general understanding of what happened. You are not making any sense at the moment and I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed with my diagnosis – PTSD, illusions, Insomnia, nightmares and Bipolar Two Disorder, self-destructive behavior and thoughts. There’s a lot to consider, If we could only talk about the consequences and the severity–”severity? “I’m a murderess, Mr. Seymour, maybe I deserve everything that has had happened and maybe my broken relationships and fickle heart are just a result of who I was – they are a part of me. Maybe I deserve to feel empty, to be too broken to be loved. Maybe the person who did love me broke me in the end.” “You do not realize how toxic your mind will become if you do not let people in completely.” “Do you not listen?” she yelled at him, stood up and she could hot tears running down her cheeks. “I did and now I feel powerless, because I know they’ll only see a monster, the person I do not wish to be. I destroy everything and everyone I touch,” her hands shook as her fingertips reached for her mouth.

“I’ve lost my friends, my family, everything – on one day, because I was too afraid to talk to them, because I couldn’t bear the idea of working for him, of being a puppet. I’m not a puppet. I’m a puppeteer and I guide those around me to their deaths, right? And I try, so hard, to be better, to move on. But I can’t handle the pain. I just want the pain to be gone. I want to be enough, just once. I’m just a woman, I was never enough for my father, nor for my friends. I let everyone down, I lie and fake a smile just so that they still see me as confident. I stopped being confident and happy the day I lost him. And I left parts of myself in others, hoping they’ll love and care for them and one day return them to me with theirs attached. They never did. I am nothing in their eyes. Just a wanton,” she quoted Evan on this and looked down onto her engagement ring. Panic filled her heart, but she was stopped by Mr. Seymour, who’d grabbed her hand and entered her mind, now facing every memory she ever had as she let him in and his spell. He saw her childhood, her teenager years, the way she loved Caradoc and lost him the day she’d agreed to follow her family’s path, her Dark Mark, Borgin & Burkes, her engagement to Evan and her near death experience – the way she loved Amos and how she tried to protect everyone from Evan, their hands around her throat, the lack of control, the knife slashing through her skin, her screams, the pain which she endured from the Cruciatus curse – everything at once. He immediately sat down again, clenching his jaw and looking up towards her. “And I just want to feel normal, but I will never be, which is why everything’s so bloody complicated. I’m a disaster. And I don’t want to ruin everything I have right now. Because one day I will, and they’ll leave the second they see my real face, find out I’m a monster.”

Cassandra brushed away the tears from her cheeks and shook her head. “I control others just because I can’t control myself. I wonder if I’m still a monster, if I’ll never change, but I want to. I want to change, please – I just don’t know where to start. I feel like I can’t move, I can’t breathe. And I just want to stop drowning and breathe, survive. I have people who protect me. Orion, Caradoc, Amos, Rodolphus, Charity, Benjy, —- but I want to be strong on my own! I used to be stronger, independent, a lot less afraid.”

Mr. Seymour relaxed, as if he hadn’t just seen an entire life playing in front of his eyes, the trauma, the pain, the joy, the love – as if nothing of it really mattered. “You consider yourself to be a monster, but you haven’t killed me yet. How’s that? That’s because you know I’ll help you. The first step to becoming better is seeking help, reach out to others. You are healing, you have friends and people that love you for who you are - - you just have to open your eyes, Miss Burke. And if you survive through the pain and prove yourself, then you’re the strongest person I know.”

“No,” Cassandra replied, recovering from her panic attack. “I am strongest when I know what I want – and right now I just want to be free and happy.” she whispered, her grip tightening around her wand. A blue light took away all his memories from the past hours and she ignited the quill, which was still writing every word – and every paper lit on fire. “and I know I don’t have to conquer my monsters, I just have to keep them on a leash, because they’ll never see another version of me, the one that’s suffering and alone – I will remain standing, strong and proud. They will never suspect the cracks if no one knows about them besides one, the one I love – and if I still feel… love, then how bad of a monster can I be?”

2. – BRAVE NEW WORLD

Ministry of Magic, Cassandra Burke’s secret Wizengamot trial, the dungeons Date: April 13th 1979

Wind blew through her hair as she entered the hidden passage through the Ministry, a hood loosely falling over her face as she was abruptly grabbed away from the sun and into the dark tunnels. She kept on walking, didn’t really know which step to take next – maybe she didn’t want to know. Arriving at the Wizengamot, a place her parents warned her about, the Dark Lord had warned her about, as well, now looked even more frightening than everything she’d dreamed of. A few wizards were placed on a podium, watching down on her, judging, making comments, whispering and shaking their head. One of the Aurors moved closer, and the former Death Eater immediately thought of Caradoc, who could’ve been here with her, who could’ve been the one to pull the hood away. With dark brown hair now falling behind her shoulders, Cassandra looked around freely, saw Dumbledore, judges, Bartemius Crouch Snr. and not many others, actually. In fact, she wondered why there wasn’t an entire courtroom filled with judges just waiting to drag her all the way to Azkaban. In total, however, she counted eight people. Eight to determine her innocence or her guilt. Others were judged from twenty or more, so what exactly happened in between then and now? Oh, she knew what happened, but didn’t dare to speak of him.

“The trial may begin,” Dumbledore spoke, his voice louder than ever, well, except the last time she’d heard him speak in Hogwarts. Before the trial could even begin properly, she was pushed down on the seat behind her and her hands were wrapped with a silken, glowing substance – a binding spell. While the Aurors removed her wand and went on with their procedures, Bartemius Crouch Snr. stood up, reading a script. “Cassandra Morrigan Burke, daughter of Aurora and Cormac Burke, stand accused of murder, assault, arson, theft, using unforgivable spells and high treason on many occasions. These crimes are, and will be, punished with a life-sentence in Azkaban. As a known member of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his army of dark wizards, you’re an enemy of the Ministry of Magic and therefore judged as an enemy of this court. How do you plead?”

Cassandra sighed, her breath shaky and her eyes searching for something or someone to focus on. Nothing, no one. “Guilty.” after confessing, however, her heart sped up, but her eyes weren’t trying to focus anymore. She kept staring towards Dumbledore, hoping her memories would have an effect. “You choose to help him all on your own. You didn’t care, you regret nothing. Even though your mouth’s moving, your lips are shaking, you’re not sorry at all,” Bartemius started. “You cast your first unforgivable curse at the age of sixteen as you killed your first victim for the Dark Lord.” he looked like a raging old man, incapable of keeping his temper in check, even before Dumbledore, who was in charge. Did Amos keep her memories? She started to shake in fear, but as Dumbledore spoke, she immediately froze. “It does seem like we’re making false assumptions. Our accusations are not too far off, in fact, they’re identical with what I’ve seen,” Dumbledore held the vial between his index and little finger, shaking her tears slightly, almost delicately. “I bear witness her accusations are all true, but she’s here to strike a deal.” Cassandra’s eyes closed in relief. This wasn’t the end, not yet, at least. “Immunity, a symbolic death if you will, in exchange for all information granted in this vial. The Order wishes the Ministry would accept or consider her offer.”

“I offered my memories for a reason. I want to be free,” she pleaded, but Bartemius already tried to silence her. “Silence!”

“I didn’t just offer my past, but several memories of Death Eater meetings and faces. Vast knowledge of dark magic acquired through training and my family’s history in that field. Tom Riddle worked for my grandfather.” “I said silence! You did kill Darius Shafiq, have you not? You lured him into a trap on November 2nd 1978, didn’t you? You assassinated Clara Wilson, a hit-witch, who worked for the Ministry, after she’d been tasked with the killing of an ally of yours, of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”

“Darius was a Death Eater,” she then said, calmly. “I killed him because the Dark Lord knew he’d break.” Bartemius abruptly lost his voice and looked at Dumbledore, confused. She nodded towards the vial. “Everything you need to know’s contained in there. My entire life, my misdemeanors, my knowledge and relationships. I request you to have a look and judge for yourself. I’m willing to share them with you as I did with my link to the Order and Ministry before this trial.” She didn’t want to mention Amos directly. They’d find out sooner or later.

One week later

“Cassandra Morrigan Burke. You’ve been found guilty on all charges. Upon viewing your memories the Wizengamot decided to pardon your crimes and erase all evidence of this trial. Your memories will be stored to further the Ministry’s attempt in finding Death Eaters and stopping the war. Under oath we’ve agreed to never use your name outside of this court. You will be considered missing, if not dead after today. All your relatives will be told of your disappearance and your possible death in times of war. You’re free to leave.”

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