#{ in narration i want to use 'it' for the sake of not getting the two characters jumbled but in gaels mind its 'he' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

david-talks-sw · 1 year

Text

When a Star Wars writer engages with the material but not the narrative.

I'm writing a long post about the Jedi and the clone troopers and there's a whole section that I had to remove because it was too long:

Karen Traviss' take on the Jedi and the clones.

I already wrote about why Karen Traviss' take on the Jedi and Yoda doesn't track with what George Lucas had established in his narrative of the Prequels. Since then, I've been able to do more research.

It's no secret that one of the reasons Traviss listed for criticizing the Jedi in the Expanded Universe books she wrote is their treatment of the clones (or at least what she understood it to be).

In 2008, she wrote a now-deleted blog post about it (it was really long, so I'm only including the part relevant to my point, if you want the full context you can look it up, this is old stuff).

So if you ask me, in the above quote, Traviss is essentially doing the equivalent of saying:

"Batman is a psycho elitist who beats up the mentally ill and indoctrinates kids, turning them into child soldiers for his unending crazy vigilante war on crime, and if you can't recognize that then you scare the living crap out of me."

Like... you can argue that, and a couple of comics have argued that.

But by and large, the general consensus is that Batman is a superhero, the Robins are his sons and daughter, and the "mentally ill" are in fact the Joker and Two-Face aka mass murderers.

So if you make that argument, that's you applying your real-life values and conclusions to a narrative that deliberately doesn't acknowledge those points, in-universe, in order to tell the story it wants to tell.

It's counting on your suspension of disbelief, defined as "the avoidance—often described as willing—of critical thinking and logic in understanding something that is unreal or impossible in reality, such as something in a work of speculative fiction, in order to believe it for the sake of enjoying its narrative."

The Jedi accepting the clones and the clones being slaves isn't a "delicate point". It's barely a point at all!

It's never addressed in the film (because of course it isn't, the Prequels are about Anakin and the Republic, not the clones).

It's only addressed once by Slick, an unreliable narrator, in The Clone Wars.

That's it. Hell, in 2008, when The Clone Wars writer Henry Gilroy was asked to comment on the relationship between clones and Jedi, he explicitly said he'd "rather not get into" that particular point.

I recently got Mythmaking: Behind the Scenes of 'Attack of the Clones' and nowhere is that detail touched on by Lucas at any point.

Nobody wants to touch on that point with a 10ft pole, because it's not relevant to the story.

So while Traviss acknowledges the Jedi are fictional characters, she doesn't follow that thread through to the end by acknowledging that fictional characters don't have free will, they must abide by the story and the whim of the writer.

She's engaging with the material, but refusing to engage with the narrative. She's having her cake and eating it too.

My reason for saying all this is that in the book Star Wars on Trial, she elaborates on her thought process upon discovering this detail.

Shortly before to this, she acknowledges twice that she knew nothing about Star Wars, beside seeing the original films in her youth.

Another writer who saw the new films and saw Mace Windu argue against there being a war...

... the worry on his face at the prospect of the Jedi being thrown at the Separatists...

... and the sheer melancholy on Yoda's face upon announcing the Clone War had begun...

... might have instead wondered how the Jedi, so opposed to war, could've ended up being generals.

Because while we don't see the Jedi openly protest the use of the clones in the film... they're not exactly giddy about it, either. All they can do is watch powerlessly as it gets voted by the Senate.

"The Jedi are there. But the Jedi aren't really allowed to be involved in the political process. They're there, but they can't suddenly step up and say, "No, no. You can't do that." They have to let the political process go." - George Lucas, Attack of the Clones, Commentary #2, 2002

We also don't see them take on the role of generals, either.

We only see them begrudgingly lead troops on Geonosis, specifically.

But they're not referred to as "generals" yet.

Another writer might have imagined a scene where after Geonosis, Mace Windu talks to Palpatine thinking the Jedi will go back to their roles as diplomats, and that what we saw in Attack of the Clones was a one-time thing to save Obi-Wan, but Palpatine politely goes:

"Ha! No. Didn't you hear? The Senate was so impressed by your performance on Geonosis that they voted to make you all generals in the GAR. Now, get back to the front."

Another writer might've elected to write them having that "big moral debate" she mentions.

Instead, Traviss immediately jumps on the "Jedi are elitists" train.

Because her personal experience with the military makes her sympathize with the clones and her personal belief is that - while the story may frame the Jedi as "the good guys" - nobody is that good a guy, real life people aren't that pure and selfless. There's gotta be something off about them and aHA! That's what it is!

That's her choosing to take that line of thought instead of one more in-line with the story, because she perceives it as unrealistic. But like... Star Wars isn't real life, it's a fairy tale.

That's like saying:

"The hunter in Little Red Riding Hood commits animal cruelty by cutting the Wolf open. He should've let nature take its course, the wolf earned that meal fair and square. If you think the hunter should've saved Red Riding Hood and her Grandma, then clearly you're the kind of monster who thinks one life is worth more than others."

... no?

The story's narrative clearly portrays the wolf as the villain of the tale and frames the Hunter saving Red Riding Hood as a good thing.

Disagreeing with that narrative is absolutely fine, but anybody who acknowledges the wolf is the bad guy in the story isn't automatically an animal hater and/or a bad person. Just because you say "the wolf is the villain" doesn't mean that you think that, in real life, killing wolves for shits and giggles is good.

Conversely, the narrative of the Prequels asks you to suspend your disbelief and not consider the implications that having a clone army entails. Because the use of clones doesn't have a direct impact on either Anakin or the Senate's stories.

Edit: I finished the post this one here originally spun out of!

You can find it here:

#Karen Traviss #clone troopers #jedi order #in defense of the jedi

1K notes · View notes

pink-november · 4 months

Note

Do you ever think about how the burning grey is in a bridal gown because the smitten wanted to marry the damsel before you stabbed her in the back? How een when she's trying to kill you she stays with you, eyes locked in forbidden embrace as you both melt in her fires?

Or how the drowning grey is in funeral attire because she's mourning what could have been? How the line "Your lungs fill with water as mine filled with blood" is so fucking raw?

I think the dichotomy of the greys is very interesting, is what I'm saying.

I kill you. You kill me. Back and forth we go, faster and faster and faster. I kill you. You kill me.

Boy do I ever think about the contrast of the two greys huuuu fascinating how they're connected despite being so different.

The first time I saw the Burning Grey, I immediately took notice of her white bridal gown and all that entails. Burning with her felt like a betrayal at first and watching her slowly becoming a charred corpse was horrifying. Was this her revenge for stabbing her in the previous chapter?

The Drowning Grey made me detest her. I hate her with a passion when she drowned us, looking down on us while her bloated corpse grabbed us on the ankles like how some of my nightmares typically goes. Not to mention the path to get to her is downright harrowing when I played through it. I didn't take notice of her black dress at that time because the sheer shock I've experienced between The Prisoner and The Drowned Grey was immense. What caused this seemingly stoic and rational princess to be this vengeful at this point? My brain hurts trying to come up with the answer.

But then, they came up during the Shifting Mound's fight.

They loved us. Painfully so. To the point that they imagined thousand of different futures with us if we escaped the cabin together.

Damsel, and despite everything she was at that point, wished so genuinely to be with us, her innocent love so boundless and pure that at the end of the day, all she wanted was to make a home with us. And we took that away from her. And she laid there on the cold cobblestone floor, accepting what her dashing knight did so readily like some caricature. But she cried while she died, the futures she wished to see flashing before her, taken, burned away to a crisp.

She watched with hollow eyes from the dry corners of a memory, every possible happy ending we could have gotten and will never happen because something else is interfering, something was preventing the union she seeks, and she sets it all ablaze, hoping that the flames of her passion would burn away this horrendous ending we've given her. She holds us in a fiery embrace, scared that even with the fires of her love we might slip away and vanish.

Prisoner, despite her cold and cynical nature, loved us. But she cannot readily show this feeling to us, not when she knows something else was pulling the strings, something so eager to end her showing its ugly face so early on. We showed her we trusted her, despite bringing the knife down, that we are willing to drop the blade and use it for her sake. But then she had to kill us and if we played our cards right, play a game of tricking The Narrator into setting her free.

But we left her to rot. She trusted us that we understood her intentions, that her own love is enough to look past the horror and confusion and set her free. She believed that once we get out the cabin, whatever entangled us would also set us free. And our real happy ending would start after.

She watched with hollow eyes from the dark corners of a forgotten place flooded by emotions left unspoken. The world cries. The tide rises. The cabin floods. She smothers you with a love so achingly terrifying, even her bloated messed up corpse holds you in place, hoping against all hope that maybe you'll stay with her for this agonizing ending, her throat flooded with words she wishes to convey but her lungs filled with blood so she chokes while the tides take and take our breath away, trying to make us see and feel the emotions she left buried and left to waste.

They loved us. She is passion betrayed but even then her love never faded. And we killed them. She is guarded sorrow and alone but had the courage to share with another. And they killed us. We taught them death is a temporary ending, a seed for a better beginning, and they loved us.

I kill you and me.

They hope the next beginning would be happier.

#slay the princess #hoping the pristine cut dlc would expand their routes more #i want to see more of them i want to understand them more deeply #hope my ramblings made sense

110 notes · View notes

thisisatesttai · 4 months

Text

IchiRuki is not "delusional," and saying that it is means you have no media literacy

IHs seem to think that all it takes to interpret Ichigo, Rukia, and Orihime's feelings is to read the epilogue. To a literary critic, that is absurd. Characters explain how they feel over and over again across a piece of media. An ending may give us context that alters the earlier scenes, but this is always in very specific ways. With Bleach, nothing about the epilogue indicates that Ichigo and Rukia are not supposed to be read as at least potentially romantic.

For posterity's sake, I should point out that I've only seen the first few arcs of the anime, so most of what I say below is based on the manga. That said, the anime is part of the story as much as the manga is, so just because something happened in the manga and not the anime, or vice versa, doesn't make it "truer" to the text, just true to different texts.

Let's start with the fact that the story repeatedly suggests that Ichigo and Rukia have a romantic vibe to them. The rumors at school make this explicit, but just from the setup of two classmates who clearly have a secret that are constantly sneaking off, especially when you add in that they go home together and sleep in the same room. I know a lot of people want IchiRuki to be the Platonic Boy/Girl Friends (TM) but honey, they just ain't them. You're thinking of Naruto and Sakura. Claims that they have a sibling vibe are utterly baseless, especially in Bleach, where sibling relationships are a very explicit theme. Not every non-romantic couple that's nominally the same age (don't get me started on the "she's 150" arguments; go prosecute ACTUAL 150-year-olds dating 15-year-olds and leave me alone) is automatically a sibling vibe. The most I could say is that they do bicker a lot, but we all know that's just as comparable to a married couple. Saying Rukia is a mentor to Ichigo admittedly has a little more basis, especially when Bleach doesn't have a designated mentor figure. I still think Rukia's role in teaching Ichigo about the Soul Society is more of a guide archetype, though; think less Genkai, more Botan.

But setting aside the setup, the Soul Society Arc, or Rescue Rukia arc, is loaded with romantic themes and imagery. Don't get me wrong; nothing says that Kubo couldn't have introduced these as a fake-out to the audience, with the intention of subverting their expectations. I don't personally think there's anything that really suggests that, at least not so far as the romantic reading of the Soul Society arc itself being entirely off-base. The whole arc kicks off because Rukia is asked by Orihime and her friends if she "like-likes" Ichigo. She says she only likes him as a friend, but all of the narrative cues suggest that she's being dishonest, from the narration to the fact that she was so bothered by the question that she chooses now to go to the Soul Society and face her punishment. The suggestion at this point seems to be that Rukia having any type of affection for Ichigo, be it friendship or romantic, is inappropriate or even impossible for a shinigami. Ichigo's feelings are treated similarly, as he never gives a straight answer when he's asked why he wants to save Rukia, but several characters suggest that it's because he's in love with her. This doesn't mean he is, but the narrative does not deny that that is a possible reasoning. We're not even really told what his answer is; the scene where he thinks, "That's why I fought so hard to save you" seems to be suggesting that he wanted her to be able to decide whether she would live in the World of the Living or the Soul Society -- or else it's saying he didn't want the last time he saw her to be her telling him she would never forgive him, or it's saying that he wanted to see her smile again. Like I said, we're not given an explicit answer to this question.

The rest of the manga is basically about Ichigo adjusting to life without Rukia. I think it's fair to say that even if you read Soul Society romantically, from the Arrancar Invasion Arc on, Rukia is no longer written as Ichigo's love interest. This doesn't invalidate anything suggested in the previous arcs, though. If anything, I would argue that Ichigo's feelings become pretty explicit by the time we get to Hueco Mundo. The dramatic reveal of Rukia coming to visit, and the fact that she's the only person capable of breaking him out of his funk, both have a romantic reading to them. When the team arrives in Hueco Mundo, Ichigo is shown to be overly concerned with Rukia's safety, explicitly singling her out aside from Renji, Uryu, and Chad. (I guess that could just be misogyny, though.) Even Ichigo's obsession with getting a rematch with Grimmjow could be traced to him nearly one-shotting Rukia during their fight in Karakura. I'm not saying any of these are exclusive interpretations, just showing how it's regularly reinforced that Ichigo feels differently about Rukia than any of his other companions, even to the point of letting it cloud his judgment.

I don't think I need to say anything about Ichigo and Rukia's goodbye before the timeskip. The way the scene is drawn, and written, and framed by the narrative, is very reminiscent of romance scenes, to the point that if it was meant to be read as exclusively platonic, it comes off as a very bad satire. And jumping to the anime real quick, I know episode 342 is anime-only, but by no means do I think that invalidates everything it says about Ichigo and Rukia's feelings for each other. That episode oozes with ship-bait, to the point of turning the subtext of their relationship into text. And if you think this is something that the anime studio injected into the narrative -- well, first of all, then we'd also have to parse out everything that the Shonen Jump editors injected into the manga -- but Kubo himself has said that he thought the episode was a welcome addition. So, if your'e someone who thinks the author's vision is the final say on the manga, there you have it; Kubo basically canonized ep. 342.

With all that in mind, I think that, at the very least, Bleach's narrative suggests that Ichigo and Rukia are coulda-beens. Maybe Ichigo was more invested than Rukia was, maybe Rukia deemed it inappropriate due to them being from different worlds, but in the language of manga and storytelling in general, the idea that they might have feelings for each other isn't some fan's "delusion"; it is actually part of the text. Whether or not they actually felt something for each other is for them and them alone to know, but the story tells us that these are two people who met, came to care very deeply for each other, and then drifted apart without ever taking the plunge.

The question that this leaves us with is, where does that leave Orihime?

If there's one character whose feelings are never up for debate, it's Orihime. We know from practically her first scene that she has a crush on Ichigo. Now, at first that's never taken seriously. It's mostly just a setup for the running gag of her bonkers imagination. Over time, though, we get a little bit more insight into Orihime's feelings, and she starts to get taken more seriously as a character. There's a version of Bleach where, as Orihime steps up to be by Ichigo's side in the latter arcs, he moves on from his feelings for Rukia and the two develop as a couple. If that were the case, even if IchiHime doesn't appeal to me, personally, I would still accept it. It would actually be a refreshingly mature take on teenage romance. Unfortunately, that version is not in the text.

For that reading of Bleach to work, we would need to see their love for each other build to a place where both characters bring out the best in each other, at least comparably to Ichigo and Rukia. Unfortunately, Ichigo and Orihime don't seem to bring out the best in each other. Ichigo brings out all of Orihime's insecurities. During the lead-up to the Arrancar arc, Orihime starts to compare herself to Rukia. (There's literally a panel sequence that says, without a single word "find you someone who looks at you the way Ichigo looks at Rukia", to anyone who's still unconvinced that there's a romantic reading to those two.) And as the entirety of the Hueco Mundo hammers home, Orihime is personally ill-equipped to be Rukia. Both Rangiku and Rukia herself have speeches where they tell Orihime that she needs to stop trying to live up to what she thinks Ichigo wants and just be herself, but she sticks to the mantra that she wants to "fight by Ichigo's side" -- you know, like Rukia does. Urahara even tells her outright that she needs to stop trying to put herself on the battlefield. It's not particularly nice of him to squash her dreams like that, but it's not as though she doesn't get an out; Hachi is already there, trying to teach Orihime to be a healer, something she has a natural talent for.

Instead of reframing her wishes with the advice of her friends, Orihime makes the worst decision of her life and goes to Hueco Mundo with Ulquiorra. Now, obviously this is coerced by the Espada and not her actual response to the situation, but that doesn't mean they're not framed as consequential to each other, narratively. Orihime is told she has a flaw that she needs to change, but before she's able to do so, she must go through hardships so she can let go of the façade that she's using to cover up her flaw. Well, she goes through hardships alright. She's imprisoned, assaulted, and threatened with death. Orihime is confronted both with her weaknesses, and with her strengths, as she is eventually able to appeal to Ulquiorra's humanity through her willingness to see the goodness in people, even those who are actively abusing her. You would think this would lead to a change in Orihime that goes back and answers the underlying question, but it doesn't. By the end of the manga, she is still fantasizing about being a Battle Couple alongside Ichigo, and she's still not good at it. I don't know how many times I've had to say this, but Orihime and Ichigo losing their fight to Yhwach is not a triumphant moment. The fact that it's the result of Orihime achieving her series-long dream is more of an indictment against their relationship than anything else I could say.

To adopt the narrative that Ichigo got over Rukia to be with Orihime, we would also need to see him come to appreciate Orihime in her own right, something that he is...hopelessly uninterested in. No, we can't just take for granted that he's a dopey shonen hero and "that's just his character"; if he's supposed to be . We also absolutely cannot take for granted that this happens offscreen; that can be a headcanon that you, as the audience, choose to adopt, but it's not suggested by anything other than the assumption that the ending is supposed to be, and can only be, saccharinely happy. There's nothing to suggest that Ichigo changes the way he thinks about Orihime in the text, and we only ever see him thinking about her is when reacting to her in scenes, and just generally not wanting her to die. The closest we get to him expressing a romantic interest in Orihime is the scene where he asks her to "wait for him" -- at Rukia's wedding, no less. I shouldn't have to spell out how having this happen on the very day, at the very moment, that Rukia is considered "off-limits" to conventional societal standards undercuts the idea that Ichigo is not taking Orihime as a consolation prize. Which, don't get me wrong, SUCKS. But it is implicit in the framing, and can't be ignored.

And that's without getting into Rukia's relationship with Renji. I think in this case, we can very obviously see that Kubo tried to write a romance between them, but he did so in such a half-assed way that I find it very hard to take seriously. Yes, Ichigo throwing Rukia to Renji is obviously meant to tell us that Renji is her love interest from that point in the story, but that doesn't mean it works. First of all, we can't pretend Renji wasn't awful to Rukia for a majority of the Soul Society arc. Sure, this is him pre-character development, but it's a huge leap to go from "I'm conflicted over whether I should tell off my boss for killing you" to a canon couple. But even with Renji beating up Rukia and telling her he wished she was dead, you can still get to the point where they repair their relationship -- it just takes a lot of work that Bleach simply doesn't do. We need more than Renji promising to turn things around, we need to see him do things that make up for that. To be fair, though, Kubo spends very little time showing us what they're like when one of them isn't on death row. At most, they seem to train together a lot. Like, you want platonic boy/girl besties? THESE are platonic boy/girl besties. Actually, they're the ones with the sibling dynamic, given that they literally grew up calling each other family.

So where does that leave us? Some people seem to assume that despite Kubo fumbling the ball, the canon couples were meant to be, and that they somehow found happiness despite all the evidence to the contrary. Again, you can hold that headcanon for yourself if it makes you happy. However, if we're going strictly based off the text, the answer seems to be that Bleach doesn't have a happy ending. The characters whose endings are not related to getting married off all end up doing the one thing they didn't want to do -- Chad ends up using his fists for personal gain as a boxer, Uryu ends up alone, etc. -- and the ones who DO get what they want are the ones whose dreams are framed as being misguided, in Orihime's case, or unearned, in Renji's case. I'm not saying you have to ship IchiRuki, of course. I can't tell you how to read the series. At the end of the day, Bleach is to you what it is to you. But saying that reading IchiRuki as romantic is "delusional" is more than just false, it diminishes media literacy for all of us.

#bleach #rant #shipping #ichiruki #ichihime #ichigo kurosaki #rukia kuchiki #orihime inoue #renji abarai #we do knot always love you #i mean look at that title #that's supposed to be the big renruki book #why is it based around a double entendre that's basically #we always love you -- NOT!

78 notes · View notes

salty-an-disco · 5 months

Text

OK, so, this post by @birdmitosis put the thought of an alternate path to The Tower route that ends with you getting Contrarian for the Fury and I just had to get it out of my head before it consumed me.

I didn’t write out this version of the Fury yet, just the choices that would lead to getting Contrarian in it, but maybe I’ll continue this as a fic. Who knows, depends on how I’m feeling about it.

[Slay Yourself]

[Resist]

[Slay the Princess]

Voice of the Broken: But we can’t. How could we possibly hope to? Please, just let me do as She says, and everything will be fine.

Voice of the Hero: No. We don’t have to listen to Her!

The Narrator: Exactly. You have to listen to me. So, pull yourself together and slay her.

[Do as She says]

[Resist]

[Do as He says]

The Narrator: Digging up every bit of defiance hidden within you, you remain still. Your hands shook around the hilt of your pristine blade, but they don’t move. Not against your own body, or the princess.

“Oh? Feeling rebellious, are we? A pitiful display, really. I’ll make sure to crush every last bit of insubordination out of you. Now move. That. Blade.”

The Narrator: Yes, you do need to move your blade if you want to slay her.

Voice of the Hero: It doesn’t feel like she wants to kill us herself—it’s beneath her divine ego, or whatever. Let’s keep just doing nothing then. We don’t have to give in to any of their demands.

The Narrator: ‘Do nothing’? Are you serious? No, for the sake of the world—and for your own sake too—turn that blade to the princess and slay her!

Voice of the Broken: I can’t take it anymore. Please, just end it already!

[End it]

[This ends when I tell it to end! (toss out the blade)]

The Narrator: ARE YOU–!

The Narrator: *deep breath*

The Narrator: OK. With a jerk of your arm, you toss the blade to the other side of the room, all hopes for the fate of the entire world going along with it. It bounces off to the floor with an unceremonious clank.

The Narrator: Congratulations. I hope you’re happy with yourself.

Voice of the Hero: It was a little cathartic, but uhm– we’re kinda defenseless now.

“You–”

The Narrator: The Princess stares at you. Surprise, and then anger, cracking the controlled impassivity she previously held on her face.

“You really think you can defy me like this?”

The Narrator: She booms. The force of her fury almost pushing you back to your knees.

“There are only two ways this ends. Either you pledge yourself to your better, or you destroy this broken shell and hope the next one will know its place. You can’t deny me like this.”

Voice of the Broken: You already tossed away the blade. Just throw everything else with it and pledge yourself to Her!

The Narrator: You can still save this. Like the heroic one said, she doesn’t want to kill you herself, so you have plenty of time to pick your pristine blade back up and end her.

Voice of the Hero: Listen, I know all these orders are making things– difficult. But it’s always your choice in the end. And whatever it is you choose, I’ll make sure we carry it through.

[Pledge yourself to her]

[Run for the blade]

[Throw yourself to the ground and close your eyes]

The Narrator: What.

“What… are you doing?”

Voice of the Broken: Uhm…

Voice of the Hero: Not what I had in mind, but–

“What. Are. You. DOING!”

The Narrator: The very earth beneath you shakes with her demand. But it wasn’t just her voice that caused the ground to shake– you can’t be certain, but it sounded like she just stomped on the floor.

Voice of the Broken: Oh no. You’re angering Her! She’s going to beat us to death again and it’ll be your doing.

Voice of the Hero: She’ll have to get to us herself for that, and I don’t think she’s very open to doing the dirty work herself.

“You think you can ignore me? My radiance shines to even the darkest pit in the furthest corner of this world! Look at me, shadow!”

[Look at her.]

[You do not.]

The Narrator: The princess’s very presence weighs down on you, only aiding in your impetuous decision to lay there, ignoring her.

“LOOK AT ME!”

The Narrator: The Princess’ cry is a shrill sound that explodes everything around you. A warm feeling on the side of your head alerting you to a bleeding ear. But you refuse to react.

“Look.”

The Narrator: The princess lets out a growling noise. Something snaps, followed by the scrape of chains. She’s loose.

The Narrator: And yet, your eyes remain closed.

“At.”

The Narrator: With each footstep, it’s like the very earth is moving to bring the princess closer and you to her reach.

The Narrator: You ignore her.

“ME.”

The Narrator: Powerful fingers coil around you, squeezing your ribs together with a painful crack as you’re lifted off the ground, the very air you breathe is pulled out of your burning lungs.

The Narrator: You don’t acknowledge her.

Voice of the Broken: She’s right in front of us. We can’t ignore her any longer, we have to look at her!

[Do not]

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

The Narrator: With a guttural sound that splinters every brick and every wood holding this place together, the princess squishes you.

The Narrator: A squelch sound, and the feeling of bones and flesh squeezing in on themselves, are the last things you feel before you die.

Voice of the Hero: OK. Well. That wasn’t great, but at least we went out on our terms.

EDIT: I WROTE THE FULL FIC!!! Achievement Unlocked: Anti-theist (Ao3 link)

#it’s fuckin’ 2am. and here I am writing stp alternate paths lol #Slay the Princess #The Tower #stp princess #stp protagonist #Voice of the Hero #Voice of the Broken #The Narrator #stp voices #stp narrator #stp spoilers #The Long Quiet #Sal Writes

121 notes · View notes

alpaca-clouds · 6 months

Text

Astarion, Trauma, Depression & Healing

I just cannot stop thinking about this topic, so I am going to talk about it. Mind you, technically I could extend this topic to some of the other characters as well - maybe I will - but for now let me talk about our favorite vampire spawn.

The game does make an effort to give every character at least a somewhat happy or at least bittersweet ending. (With the exception of Karlach, really. Yeah, I am still bitter about it.) But of course the general way it goes about the character plotlines is that they basically remove one issue and then end.

And for me there is the question: What would realistically happen after the ending?

So, let me talk a bit about psychology.

This is for the vampire spawn ending.

Spoilers for all acts.

CW: Abuse, trauma, depression

Astarion is traumatized.

"No shit!" I hear you say.

But yes, he is traumatized. To be exact he has CPTSD. Complex trauma. The difference between this and normal trauma is, that it develops over a long time. Specifically when it is not one or even just a few traumatizing experiences, but it is a lasting traumatizing situation. And in the case of our dear vampire spawn it is a traumatizing situation that lasted for almost two centuries!

Being unable to escape a traumatizing situation means that people in those situations build coping mechanisms as a method of survival. And I would argue that Astarion's entire asshole snarky personality mostly is a coping mechanism.

There are a several aspects of the situation with Cazador, that were traumatizing.

Several people have already talked about how basically Cazador has subjected his spawn to basically every single kind of abuse. We know there was physical abuse (for fuck's sake, they were tortured on a regular basis), there was sexual abuse (they were forced into prostitution and there is some dialogue that say that Cazador also raped them), there was emotional and psychological abuse (just look how Cazador talks to Astarion - and how he played the spawn against each other), and there was also a general sense of neglect.

But there is also the fact that Cazador forced them to do bad things. Be it to catch those victims (who the spawn thought would die) and there is also a bit of evidence that he probably forced them to otherwise kill - maybe people who were in the way of his politics. After all he also was quite active within the politics of the city. We also know from some dialogue that Cazador used his absolute control over the spawn at times to force them to torture themselves or each other.

One big aspect of people in abusive relationships (be it romantic relationships - or familiar relationships) is that the abuser will try to take away any possible support. I do assume that him playing the spawn against each other and making them torture each other is partly meant to destroy trust between them.

And of course, they just could not get help from the outside. Partly because of his rules and command. And partly, too, because I assume any attempt to get help would end the potential helper's life.

We also know from Astarion's dialogue, as well as the narrator text in the Astarion origin that Astarion gave in fairly quickly and tried to just do what Cazador wanted him to do. But we also know that it basically made no difference because Cazador would find some faults he could punish Astarion for.

So, all in all Astarion spend about 200 years in constant survival mode.

Here is the thing: For someone who has spend two centuries in those condition he appears surprisingly... functioning. Sure, he is a snarky bastard. And yeah, he also cannot fathom you helping him without him paying you in sex. But he... well, he is not a pile of misery sitting in a corner.

There might well be a reason for this, though: He is still in survival mode (because of the entire tadpole and world ending thing), and he also has a concrete goal (kill Cazador). The big question is how he is gonna relate and work through the trauma after the end of the game, when both the life-or-death situation ended and Cazador is dead.

Because, look. Our boy is going to need to work through all of that trauma. There is no way around it. He needs to work through it and it is gonna be painful.

A lot of people with CPTSD do develop a depression - and I doubt that this precious vampire spawn is going to be any different. Heck, I am going to go so far and say that we do see him being depressed quite a bit even in the game, even as he tries to hide it.

We know from the game he has nightmares of Cazador. Nightmares that kinda mix memories with fears. And those are probably just going to be a fact of his life for a few years. So, sleep is going to be hard at times - and so is going to be other stuff.

There will be stuff that triggers him. In my stuff I write him as easily being triggered by sexual stuff - because there is so much trauma related to it - as well as getting triggered when he is reminded of his scars. But he is also quite good at triggering himself by falling down memory holes.

Given that when you play the Astarion origin we have at least two scenes (probably more, but so far I encountered it two times) where he halucinates Cazador being there and watching him, I would assume that this is also going to stay within his life. Him seeing or hearing Cazador, because it is just so engrained in his memory through trauma.

One big thing I see him struggling with most is, that everything he is right now is what Cazador made him. For better or worse, all his learned behaviors are because of Cazador. And Cazador of course wanted to shape him. If Astarion ends up with Tav (or one of the origin characters), I can also very much see that this is gonna be a big issue for him. Because Astarion needs to change to heal. He cannot let himself be defined by Cazador. But if Tav tries to help this along, Astarion might just think that Tav is just another person who tries to mold him into someone else. (And yes, this is a point of conflict that I bring into Voice of the Voiceless.)

Another issue I could see arise is avoidance behavior. Basically... Here is the thing, trauma will never quite go away - but it can get better, if you work through it. But working through trauma is very, very painful, which is why a lot of traumatized folks instead try to avoid this. Becaue while it leads to betterment on the long run it is more painful for the moment than just trying to forget about it and distract yourself.

And given just the amount of trauma, I can see that easily happening here.

There is another big thing, too, though. Some people have already pointed it out before, but... If romanced it is fairly clear that Astarion is very, very emotionally dependent on Tav. Which absolutely makes a lot of sense, given that from his perspective Tav is (probably) the first ever person in a long, long time, who is actually nice to him and helps him. But you have to see that this, in the end, also is a type of avoidance behavior. Tav is safe, so he just sticks to Tav like a shadow, basically.

It seems to me from the game that Astarion is one of the characters in camp, who very much stick to themselves. Like, you can gleam from dialgoues (even though I still gotta say, I wanted more scenes of the characters doing stuff together at camp) that Wyll and Karlach do hang out at camp. And that Halsin and Gale over time do also kinda take care of everyone. But Astarion mostly tries to stick to himself, not really making connections to anyone.

And I think that also is in a way part of avoidance behavior. Friends means opening himself up, which means having a weakness, which then brings fear of it being exploited. So... yeah, sticking to Tav and Tav alone is so much safer.

But, here, too I think it is something that he, if he wants to heal, needs to learn to overcome. To put it differently: This man needs some friends. He needs people in his life besides Tav. But to get him there might be hard.

I mean, let's be frank. This man needs therapy. He needs therapy so badly. But... I somehow doubt that there are therapists in Faerûn.

So, yeah... He needs to figure it somewhat out on his own, which is only gonna make this harder.

tl;dr

This man is a mess. And even if everything goes well, he is gonna be a mess for at least a few years. Because you just do not get over 200 years of trauma upon trauma, without being a mess somewhere in between.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion x tav #astarion needs a hug #trauma #ptsd #cptsd #cw abuse #cw depression #media analysis

103 notes · View notes

jccatstudios · 5 months

Note

I have been following your soc comic adaptation and it just so good!!! I love how you draw them!

I have just one question: Why did you not include Inej's opening musings about Kaz on the first page? (Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason etc) I actually really like how there is not text on the first two pages, it's really atmospheric and moody so this really is not a criticism, I don't want to insult you. I guess I was just wondering what the thought process behind that was?

Oh, I've been wanting to talk about this for a while! Buckle up, this is gonna be one of my long comic rants. (Also, no offense taken at all! Anyone's welcome to question my artistic choices and I'm always happy to take critique, even though that isn't your intention.)

So, the thing is I actually planned on including that first paragraph into the comic! Here's when I first shared the thumbnails on here. Just for the sake of this post, I'll insert them here too.

The boxes are meant to be where excerpts of that introduction would go. When I was creating the thumbnails, I was thinking about how iconic these lines were and how well they introduce the world and characters. I even finished the pages with the intention to include those lines. This is from my original csp file.

When I lettered it all out, I felt like something wasn't right...? Hard to explain. I wanted silence for the opening and the narration took that away. I then thought about the reader who'd go into this without reading the novel first, wondering if they'd be thinking, Who's this Kaz Brekker guy? Is it this character on the page? It's clearer in the book, but I didn't think it paired well with what I drew. I didn't want any confusion. It's also Inej's chapter, and while Kaz's parts take up most of it, I still wanted it to feel like her POV and her story. We can hold off officially meeting Kaz until page four.

But the main reason I took it out comes down to my philosophy when it comes to comic adaptations. I believe that an adaptation should use the original story in the best way for the secondary medium. A comic adaptation should play to the strength of comics, not the original source material.

Time and time again, I see a lot of comic adaptations of books try to use a book's strength instead of a comic's. When that happens, you get pages upon pages of narration boxes and exposition that could've easily been told in a single panel's image. If you want to read excerpts from the original novel, go do that! They're beautiful and well-crafted and you should be reading the original anyway! If you're making a comic adaptation, make a comic, not an illustrated version of the novel (that's a whole field of its own).

This whole thing really ties well into what I'm doing for Chapter 3. Kaz is such an internal character, his chapters have a lot more exposition that isn't setting description or character actions. I've had to do a lot more of my own writing for this chapter than the last just to turn that exposition into his own voice as an internal monologue. Sometimes, it's just a change from "he" to "I," but there are other times I've had to write new dialogue and find ways to naturally flow between thoughts. If I didn't do the work to adapt the expository text and instead just put in narration boxes of text from the book, there would be a greater disconnect between the reader and Kaz. Third-person limited works great in books and doesn't separate the readers from the story, but in comics, first-person internal dialogue keeps the readers inside the scene better.

If I were to redo Chapter 2, I think I would try to find a way to incorporate the information from the chapter intro better. I think by losing the intro I initially planned to include, I didn't establish certain ideas very well. Ketterdam and Kerch are established later on pages 4 and 5, but I don't think I ever go back and mention The Barrel. Also, the idea that Kaz is deliberate, even if his reputation says otherwise, is important too. I've made sure to fix this kind of issue in Chapter 3 and keep record of what kind of information I'm losing as I adapt it.

#comic rant over!#thanks for the ask I really love talking about this stuff #soc comic adaptation #asks #comics talk

111 notes · View notes

f1llory · 6 months

Text

i know a lot of people think it's not that deep but idk, the constant desire for more gory stories of past hunger games rubs me the wrong way. don't get me wrong, i'm all for fanfics exploring that, but there's a reason there will never be novels detailing that.

the reason people want spinoffs for finnick and johanna is the fact that we love them. there is nothing that would be added to the universe if we had an official/canon account of their games. they're typical games and typical victors--which i think is the point of their character. they're different from each other in some ways, but their stories are so common among victors--because that's simply what the capitol does to people.

i'm not sure i agree with the people who think it's inherently bad for people to be interested in that. there's a reason people are interested in that. the characters and worldbuilding in the hunger games are so beautifully done that there's always something to notice, theorize about, explore, and expand on. i just think that having novels on things like this would be pointless--and detrimental to the message of the series. the point is not to show violence for violence's sake, the point is to show what it takes for people to become who they are, and how the choices they make can lead to either oppression or liberation. that being said, i'm all for exploring them in fanfic. i think fanfic is an incredible thing, i love reading and writing it, and there are so many things that fans of the series can explore and create.

i'm also all for new novels if they happen! i just think they would have to add a hell of a lot more to the world of panem than the gory details of a typical hunger games to satisfy people's curiosity. here's some things that i think would be cool to see:

-the life of an avox in the capitol. this would give a totally different outlook on life in the capitol, since we've only seen people who benefit from the system and not those who are punished by it. this could be some random unknown avox but because i'm me, i would LOVE to have a full pollux spinoff i'm literally in love with him

-a victor we've never seen and their life after the games. it could show their life after returning to their district, how they're viewed, how their view of their district has changed. this could also be an interesting way to see a little more of the mentoring process and the toll it takes

-something exploring life in any of the districts we haven't gotten to see. this could also be part of the previous idea, i just think it would be interesting since our knowledge of so many districts are limited. although maybe that's the point? all we know of panem is through the eyes of two deeply unreliable narrators

-the first rebellion, or anything set before the hunger games were created. how was panem different back then? and how did things get to the point of such a big rebellion?

-are there people living outside the bounds of the districts? obviously people like lavinia have been caught trying to escape, but there very well may be people living out there. i wonder what they'd think of what was going on, or if they'd come into contact with people escaping to district 13. and no i do not want this to involve lucy gray i never want confirmation on what happened to her

basically, there's so much more of panem i'd like to see explored, but there are some things that i don't want to see, or expect to see, in any offical continuation. i absolutely love fanfics exploring those things, or anything other fans find interesting. i just think that there are so many things that could be added to the canon and i don't understand the focus on the idea of novels that would really detract from the way suzanne collins approaches her work.

in conclusion i am simply losing my mind over tbosas and i’m using a blog i never use to yell into the void thank u for reading

#the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #lucy gray baird #coriolanus snow #thg #suzanne collins #tom blyth #rachel zegler

99 notes · View notes

stromuprisahat · 19 days

Text

"I didn’t know whether to laugh or scream."

Siege and Storm- Chapter 15

Oh nein! Mal has issues! With consequences of his actions he should be grateful for, and his girl not sharing every waking thought with him, when her worst worries spring from his most hated topics- the Darkling and her role in politics.

And Alina once again feels responsible for his feelings.

Yeah, this would have a bit more weight, if Alina didn't do it only for appearances' sake. Or if she granted the position due to merit, not random pick of what she views as the lowest low. Or if she didn't continue speaking as if she were a narrator of wildlife documentary, describing a new species of animal that just appeared.

Not necessarily, but it's one of Alina's less far-fetched deductions.

Aleksander could've been aware of David's fascination with Morozova's work. He could've picked the most skilled in bonework or the one most experienced in forging amplifiers- they're supposed to be rare, so not many Fabricators will have that.

*mumbles* And somehow we're to believe this pragmatic man chose to follow Alina, because... ? She's the good one, or whatever?!

*chants* Double agent Kaminsky, double agent Kaminsky!

Alina: Why would you want to kill this man! How horrible! At least question him first!

She would make a delightful morally flexible character, if she were acknowledged as such, and embracing that quality.

Says who? Zoya?

He KeEpS mE So BuSy!

Saints, Alina, you can't believe everything people say about themselves!

Alina: I'm not sure my three months of training are enough, but I can do like two things with my powers, so let's focus on increasing them further AND on the mythical forbidden art that created my goal no. 1 in the first place. I bet nothing can go wrong...

Only signing? Not reading to get into picture? And who prepares them?!

Bureaucracy, baby!

Welcome to responsibility!

I would sympathize with Alina much more, if she showed genuine interest in those she doesn't know. If her motivation weren't merely "Do the opposite of (what I think) the Darkling did". I she truly believed in her own philosophy.

Shocking!

People forced to sit next to half-strangers they're not used to interact with, create unpleasant atmosphere!

My work experience considered- you're lucky there's no visible enmity- you could've made the wrong people sit next to each other and tableware could've ended up in wrong bodyparts.

Also: How is Nadia sitting next to Marie? I thought breaking up already existing friend groups was a point of this whole exercise.

They're not gifts, Nikolai. They're just your father's property, but let's remember the Darkling didn't wait for the Queen to request a specific one's service, and turned it into a gesture of his own thoughtfulness. Fuck his strategems!

Alina's misplaced sensibilities are incredibly frustrating.

She wants to lead Second Army, but not order them, not assign them tasks directly, because that would somehow make her a bad person, instead of efficient leader.

What if no one will volunteer? What if weak, incompetent Squallers will? You don't look at special assignment and think- Yeah, whoever wants to do it... You PICK the most capable person with both sufficient skills AND suitable personality.

Awwww!

Poor granny deserves an Oscar!

#Grishaverse #S&S Chapter 15 #Alina Starkov #Second pseudoArmy #grishanalyticritical #Malyen Oretsev #Fedyor Kaminsky #Nikolai Lantsov #Baghra Morozova #self centred and paranoid #Siege and Storm #Grisha trilogy #V #books #quotes #Leigh Bardugo #anti Mal #anti Malina #anti Baghra

32 notes · View notes

mamawasatesttube · 3 months

Text

you guys i have so many thoughts about tdr. i have so much to say. like i don't want to be super mean but dude that comic fucking sucks and i can't lie i think it made me kind of homophobic actually

#my stance up to now has been that i don't really care about tim/ber but now that i have read this. dude...#it sucks that they gave a canon queer tim narrative to someone who uses homophobia as shock value and virtue signaling points #and who actively tears down characters who don't like her special little uwu flawless oc (kate im so fucking sorry)#there's no substance to this relationship i don't see why they even like each other #bc she keeps just stating oh they're perfect they make each other so happy but she doesn't like. show that at all #and i HATE the shock value homophobia like i cannot overstate how much i hate it #oh these random cops are homophobic (that's how you know they're BAD!)#oh bernard's parents are homophobic (that's how you know THEY'RE bad too!)#it's so hamfisted and it reads like such. cheap storytelling #especially bc tim as narrator doesn't even get to have ANY thoughts on his own queerness or seeing this homophobia in the world around him #and then she can't go more than two pages without being like BTW BERNARD IS THE BEST EVER AND TIM CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM #while against this ugly backdrop of shock value homophobia #there's no substance to this relationship. why do they even like each other. it just falls apart if you examine it at all #because she just is fundamentally incapable of writing either of them as people with character flaws #for fucks sake she can't even be consistent with tim's BASIC character tenets. ''i always dreamed of being batman'' false lmao #but then to follow it up with ''i never wanted to be batman i always wanted to be my dad''#and then on TOP OF THAT to make the Only mention of Jack drake and his impact on tim's life ABOUT BERNARD AGAIN.#yeah sorry im a hater now. this was shit tier #rimi talks

19 notes · View notes

a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 months

Text

A Budding Romance

Hey!!! I just reread one of your fics- I forgot the name but it's the one where Janus could hear the narration, I really enjoyed that and was wondering if you'd be willing to write something similar with another self-aware side? – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: none!

Pairings: intrulogical

Word Count: 1237

Roman has a pleasant morning observing his two favorite nerds flirting with each other.

It starts as simply as it could, perhaps: in the living room, with a handful of the Sides spread around the couch, the floor, and the chairs. Logan and Virgil sit at opposite ends of the couch, Remus sprawled at their feet.

“Bit exposition-heavy for an opening, isn’t it?”

“Huh?” Virgil pulls off one of his headphones. “Did you say something Princey?”

Roman looks up from his notebook and shakes his head. “Just talking about narrative development, my dear Emo, don’t mind me.”

Virgil looks at him suspiciously for another moment before going back to his phone. Roman glances around to make sure no one else is suspiciously eyeing him before looking back down at his notebook.

“You know, when you say it like that, it makes it sound far worse than it actually is.”

Thankfully, for his sake, Remus doesn’t perk his head up at the sound of making things worse than they are.

Roman rolls his eyes and goes back to scratching words along the page with a pen that really needs to be replaced, he has to reactivate it every other word.

“It’s a perfectly serviceable pen, you’re just jealous.”

“You know,” Remus remarks, not looking up from his assortment of gears and pipe cleaners, “if you want to borrow a viscera quill—“

“I do not, in fact, but thank you so much for the offer.”

Remus snickers. Logan looks up from his own notes, raising an eyebrow. “You have a viscera quill?”

Roman groans silently as Remus’s grin widens. “Oh, Lolo, I thought you’d never ask.”

“Now he’s done it,” Roman mumbles under his breath as Remus starts to go on and on about how he developed a quill that writes using the effluvia of various creatures— “wait, wait, wait, what the hell does ‘effluvia’ mean?”

Remus pauses in his tirade long enough for Logan to look over. “It’s bodily fluids.”

“Like shit and piss!”

“…technically, I don’t believe fecal matter counts as a ‘fluid,’ but…yes, among others. Saliva, blood, mucus, any sort of…”

“Body juice!”

“So why not just say bodily fluids?”

“It doesn’t sound gross enough,” Remus pouts, to which Logan only looks…mildly bemused about, “but wait, why are you asking about it?”

“Neither of us said it.”

“Came up in a story,” Roman says easily, which is technically not a lie so Janus doesn’t show up, “don’t mind me.”

Remus gives him one more strange look before going back to what he was talking about. Roman just settles further into the chair, a small smile blooming on his face as he watches the two of them talk. Logan’s grip on his notebook is slowly relaxing. Remus has all but abandoned the pile of scraps in favor of sitting up properly. Even Virgil glances at the two of them, does a double-take, and looks over at Roman, eyes wide.

Roman just shrugs with a very ‘what can you do?’ smile and keeps watching. Remus’s back is almost fully to him now, but he can see the way his shoulders rise and fall that his face must be as animated as ever.

”This is good for them,” Roman mumbles, “they’ve not gotten enough chances to be weird about the same thing.”

This is true: more often than not, when it comes to matters of discussion, the two of them are on opposing sides of the argument. Logan, as the steadfast voice of reason, which is something he doesn’t get nearly enough credit for—

Roman snorts.

—is often quite directly responsible for reining in Remus’s more…let’s say, ‘unorthodox’ suggestions.

”Nothing Remus does could be considered orthodox, that is true.”

“Aw, thanks, Roro.”

Logan chuckles, still looking at Remus with that softly fond look he denies having every single time one of them notices it. When Remus is done making sickeningly sappy faces at Roman, he turns back and fully freezes mid-word at the sight of it.

“I-uh—“

“Go on,” Logan says quietly, “I was enjoying that.”

“Uh—um—well, uh, I think that the, um—“

“Watch his ears,” Roman whispers, “they’ll start to go red.”

Sure enough, the very tips of Remus’s ears go pink, then a bright red, then a deeper red as he continues to stumble over his words. Roman leans to the side, hand over his face to cover his own snickering mouth. Logan just waits patiently, letting Remus try and get himself together, before taking pity on him and lightly prompting the last thought he’d been sharing. Remus takes the out and starts describing…whatever it was that they were talking about.

“Wow, way to keep a hold of the plot.”

But as becomes abundantly clear, the specifics of their conversation don’t matter. Rather, it’s the way Logan keeps straying his hand toward his notebook every so often, just to write down one little thing, before returning his full focus to Remus. It’s the way Remus will get caught off-guard by Logan’s expression and have to look away to refocus himself. And it’s the way that neither of them have noticed that Roman and Virgil have given up all pretenses of minding their own business and are now openly staring at the two of them.

They catch each other’s eyes and have a wordless conversation of their own, before Virgil shakes his head and sinks out. A second later, a text appears on Roman’s phone saying keep me updated.

Now, whether or not they ever decide to let Remus and Logan know they have a group chat devoted to the cute things the two of them do remains to be seen, but this is definitely a prime opportunity for sneaking an adorable picture of the two of them.

“Ooh, great idea.” Roman sneaks a shot of Logan smiling softly at a blushy Remus. “That’s a keeper.”

Within the bounds of Roman’s role as a Side, he so rarely gets to enjoy the softer aspects of his responsibilities. The majority of his time is taken up by being Creativity, which is of course his main role, but the glamor of it faded long ago. ‘Creativity’ is more drafting, redrafting, the grind of editing, than it is the actual performance of the results. And, of course, there are the parts of it that rasp a little too harshly against the more sensitive parts of oneself. To create is to be vulnerable, and that only gets so much easier.

Passion helps, of course, but passion is as fickle as candle flame if not properly nurtured. Passion, Romance, Ego, tragedy walks in their footsteps as easily as breathing. It speaks more toward the intensity of the emotions and experiences rather than the positivity or negativity. And for Roman, who lives and breathes as the embodiment of it, it can be difficult to catch his breath.

But of course, there are moments of softness. Like this one, where the two of them are sitting in their own little world and talking about nothing at all. The pleasant lightness of it all floats through the air, sweet as a summer breeze. So Roman can soak in it, for just a little while, as these moments grow few and far between.

“And whose fault is that?”

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

#dragonbabbles #fic #sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus

34 notes · View notes

antimisinfo · 3 days

Note

as someone who has maladaptive daydreaming disorder this pisses me off so FUCKING BAD. im too shakey to type much less read this fully but oh my fucking god. oh my god. what the FUCK. how fucking DARE this person take MY DISORDER and twist it to conform to their DISGUSTING ABLEIST BELIEFS?? im reFUCKINGvolted

https://www.tumblr.com/alyssasmaddworld/741046067507904512/theres-this-level-of-dissociation-that-goes-hand?source=share

i- this post is a lot, but i'll try deconstruct each point here.. i'll be focusing on points that i can debate here / can disprove or try to disprove here because otherwise this will be a really long post,, longer than it already is. also i'll be referring to maladaptive daydreaming as MD for simplicity's sake. if i get any information on MD wrong please let me know as i do not have this disorder(?) nor do i know much about it outside of the research done for this post.

the source linked here does say that it is a dissociative disorder and it does say that it might not be caused purely by trauma " Although trauma may be one causal factor, we indicate several other etiological pathways to the development of MD. We discuss associations with related concepts and suggest directions for future research " so there isn't much for me to say here other than the part about plurality, but we'll go more into depth on that below.

this.. the source they used is pluralpedia.. which used the source of a tumblr blog.. so lets get into this. the first source also mentions maladaptive characters / MD characters but it also says that it is not like DID " We discuss and exemplify with clinical vignettes the shared phenomenological characteristics between MD and dissociative phenomena, such as double consciousness, vivid visual imagery, and the creation of internally narrated characters. MD characters can be experienced as somewhat independently-agentic, although unlike dissociative identity disorder (DID), they typically do not take control over the daydreamer’s behavior "

so lets look into MD characters, shall we? the only source i can find on MD characters ((other than the one they linked / tumblr posts)) consider them more of a form/type of daydreaming (experiencing the daydream as yourself or as a character, daydreaming about a character, ect). these characters are not at all similar to alters and the "closest" i found was the foreign character

" For those who heavily engage in maladaptive daydreaming, they often will begin to develop "The Foreign Character" type of maladaptive daydreaming. In this type, you daydream about a central character who you believe is yourself, but who is fundamentally different in almost all respects. " — maladaptivedaydreaming.org

however these are not at all similar to alters which are

" two or more separate identities called “alters.” They control your behavior at various times. Each alter has its own personal history, traits, likes, and dislikes " — WebMD

the same source on foreign characters also states that " The reality is that for most people, they engage in these kinds of daydreams because they want to daydream about things entirely devoid from themselves and their real world experience. They don't want to daydream about themselves being a doctor or being better looking (to use the prior examples I used), but instead they want to dream about themselves being entirely different people so they can escape from who they really are. ". other than that source there is very little evidence on these characters being separate identities, even then it's important to keep in mind that it is not the same as having a split identity as it only appears during daydreams i would assume and would not be able to control you, how you think, how you behave, ect. ((which the first source literally said,, do endos even read their sources??)) i would also like to add that if these characters feel real and you believe all your daydreams to be real then it might actually be a delusion. there's nothing wrong with having delusions but it is also important to recognise that it's not real and that it does not at all compare to being a system.

the first source they used to claim that having MD is the same as being plural is a pro endo source, it defines being plural as " The most simplified definition of the term plural that includes all people who take the label is “someone who shares the same physical body with other individuals.” Such a group is sometimes referred to as a system, though many plural groups use different terminology. " which,, again having daydreams are is not the same as having separate identities, so really this source means nothing.. and the second source is.. just insane really. its a study done on the experiences of those with multiple identities. they did two things, one was an online survey that had 200-300 results and then 6 interviews.. which is definitely not enough evidence, since they cannot know if people are lying on those online surveys and 6 people are not enough to make it a reliable source. but lets focus on the part they pointed out, which was:

" Empirical measurement of multiplicity is sparse. The first inventory published in the field was the Plural Self Scale (Altrocchi, 1999), which assesses the structure of the personality. High scores indicate that thoughts and feelings are different through time and situations. The other inventory to assess multiplicity was developed by Carter (2008) and consists of 20 items, such as “Does your handwriting change noticeably at different times?” or “Do you swing suddenly from one mood to another for no apparent reason?.” However, these scales measure the integrity of the self and rely on the assumption that there is a “you” or “I” who is able to self-reflect. Individuals who consider themselves multiple refer to themselves as a group of selves (“we”). Thus, questionnaires that assess the extent of self-integration fail to assess the experience of individuals who claim to have multiple selves who all have different thoughts, feelings, motivations, and levels of complexity. " which-- just isn't much of a criteria other than the questions, of which are "does your handwriting change at different times" and " do you swing from one mood to another with no apparent reason", but it literally says this fails to asses those who claim to be plural-- so i don't see what their point was here really. it just seems like they're saying words for the sake of saying words.

i don't think this person realises what closed culture is.. tulpulmacy is not a form of being plural nor should it be considered that, thoughtforms are usually used purely for meditation or for your spiritual journey, not for fun,, unlike "tupla systems" which are often not even Buddhists, which is the main issue. a closed practise, which is what tulpulmacy is, is a "practice in which you can only take part in their craft if you were specifically born into the practice, or went through an initiation process.". while i'm not 100% sure what exactly they mean with the last part there isn't much for me to say here other than the fact that tulpulmacy is not the same as being plural and we did have a former Buddhist actually talk to us about this here! and while it isn't exactly sourced i feel its still an important read.

i believe they're speaking about the word plural here,, which wasn't made by endos?? the word plural just refers to more then one. unless they mean traumagenic?? which then confuses me because their source doesn't really mention it--

culture is dynamic yes, but some cultures are closed and it's important to understand that-- just because the culture is shifting doesn't mean you can steal closed practises.

"endogenic sphere" makes me shiver but okay, lets talk about this too. there isn't a lot of research on MD, so i cannot say what the direct cause is. "Experts don’t know exactly why maladaptive daydreaming happens. However, they suspect it happens because maladaptive daydreaming can be a coping mechanism for problems like anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions."

no?? what?? as i said above, many times, having MD is not the same as having DID / being a system and also the image only refers to feeling disconnected from the body and sense of identity which is pretty common with dissociation and doesn't exactly prove anything related to endogenic systems..

i- ?? i mean as i said before we don't know what exactly causes MD but i don't believe people chose to do this?? not really??

" maladaptive daydreaming is often compulsive, which means a person feels like they need to do it. Because the need to daydream is similar to an addiction, daydreaming more often can make it a strong habit, so it’s very hard to stop doing it. That’s why seeking mental healthcare for it sooner rather than later is important. "

but all being said, its not a vaild form of plurality because its nothing like having separate identities?? sure when daydreaming you might identify as a different person but you're still you. your overall identity is intact and i'm pretty sure most people with MD do not think their daydreams are real, i believe that would be a delusion instead of a daydream-- and an important separation is these characters would only show up in daydreams i assume, while alters are always there, infact in DID you yourself is an alter but in MD one of you is a person and the other is a character created through daydreams,, which is not comparable to genuine parts / alters. ((also please do not harass the person who made the original post, our post / response is purely meant to educate and correct misinformation and we do not intend for people to go to the op's blog and send them things))

#sourced #kind of sourced #requested info #answered asks #anti endo #endos dni #system #did osdd #osddid #plural #system stuff #did #traumagenic system

20 notes · View notes

onwhatcaptain · 2 months

Text

It's been ages since I posted a snippet from my K/S novel, so I'm back with one from Chapter 15!

“Well, I haven’t even asked you anything yet, Doctor.” He snorts. “And for your sake, you probably shouldn’t.” They make a small expression of sympathy that he’s getting far too used to seeing and they walk in silence for a few moments. “I understand you’re going through a lot right now, but I have a responsibility to at least try and ask you questions, Doctor.” “And why’s that?” “Because this story deserves to be reported fairly and accurately, and your perspective on the matter is missing. I think you might have some valuable insight and I just want to understand. To shed light on the matter.” “And what exactly needs my input?” “Doctor McCoy,” they ask, “were Commander Spock and Captain Kirk merely colleagues and friends? Or was there something more?” McCoy stops in his tracks without turning to face them, nearly tripping on the gravel lining the path. “What?”

If you are curious, my fic "I Shall Do Neither" is here at AO3.

I Shall Do Neither (87406 words) by onwhatcaptain Chapters: 16/26 Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy & Spock Characters: James T. Kirk, Spock (Star Trek), Leonard "Bones" McCoy Additional Tags: Romance, Angst, Heavy Angst, Loss of Control, Psychological Trauma, Mutual Pining, Five Year Mission (Star Trek), Episode: s02e05 Amok Time, Post-Episode: s02e05 Amok Time, Pon Farr, Pon Farr Aftermath (Star Trek), Unresolved Sexual Tension, Friendship, Grief, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Sexual Tension, Sexual Content, Unreliable Narrator, Vulcan Biology, Tarsus IV (Star Trek), Vulcan Mind Melds, Non-Linear Narrative, Storytelling Through Vignettes, Missing Scenes Between Episodes, Plot, Cover Art, Canon Divergence, Digital Art, Illustrations, In spite of the description Kirk features heavily in this novel Summary: In the wake of the kal-if-fee on Vulcan, Kirk is dead. When T’Pau tells Spock to live long and prosper, he knows he shall do neither. This is a story about men who love each other, and the lengths they will go to for one another. - Foolish, he thinks. I have been a fool. How he had wanted so desperately to prove his Vulcan side. How all his life it had felt like a performance, and yet, to be finally subject to the most Vulcan thing of all destroyed him. The stripping of logic. All sense torn from him. His carefully constructed barriers had collapsed like a flimsy house of cards. To be granted his wish this way was a type of mockery. How he had wanted to be fully Vulcan. To prove that the blood which runs through his veins was not so human. How wanting had been better than having. - This story is told in two parts across 25 chapters, and will be updated on Sundays.

#spirk #spirk fic recs #star trek #kirk x spock #star trek tos #leonard bones mccoy #fr though I have really loved writing bones so much. he is an amazing character

28 notes · View notes

vee-thebee · 7 months

Text

i wanna make a quick post about this because for some reason two years later i'm still seeing ppl debate this on loki twitter but like? guys we know what sylvie's nexus event was it's not that difficult to figure out especially if you're obsessively rewatching the first season as a way to cope until the next episode of season two comes out

her nexus event wasn't just bc she was born a girl/wasn't just because kang knew it'd be her and 2012 loki the entire time that would wind up overthrowing him and taking his place in the tva or w/e

it was because she was going to wind up becoming a valkyrie.

loki as we know him only wound up the way he is because he was being mistreated by odin and the only thing he could possibly have was the throne of asgard. he got snubbed and it was given to thor. he had no other way to get out of thor's shadow besides ascending to the throne.

not sylvie.

because sylvie is a girl.

sylvie didn't have to ascend to the throne to achieve greatness. she could have, sure, but in the event that thor still outshined her, she could always have wound up going to the valkyries and joining their troops instead of being queen of asgard. hell, maybe she didn't even want the throne, she just wanted to fight with the valkyries.

she was playing with a toy valkyrie and narrating a story about how the valkyries came in and saved the day for god's sake.

it's not a mystery. just because they didn't outright say it doesn't mean that they did not tell us what sylvie's nexus event is.

her nexus event was when she finally made up her mind that she was going to become a valkyrie when she grew up.

it's extremely clear if you just look a little deeper into that sequence <3

#loki series #loki spoilers #(?)#loki season 2 #sylvie laufeydottir #loki

54 notes · View notes

aihoshiino · 8 months

Text

A Starter on B-Komachi Spotting

One of the things I most wish we knew more about in Oshi no Ko is B-Komachi - the peeks we get into their group dynamic in 45510 and especially Viewpoint B are always super interesting to me but in the manga itself, we get shockingly little info about them. We can't even match all their names to their faces! With a little sleuthing though, I've managed to identify three of the six unnamed members which should help us narrow down the remaining girls, with a bonus tinhoil hat headcanon that I'm going to finally table. With that said, let's give it a shot!

The No-Brainers

These ones are easy enough that I'm not giving myself any credit for them but I'm mentioning them for completion's sake. Hopefully if you care enough about Oshi no Ko to read this post you recognize Ai on sight, but did you know another B-Komachi member was identified by name too?

In the Episode 1 BTS video, some settei (concept art/animation refs) for the first episode's preproduction were shown and among them was a B-Komachi member.

At the bottom of the character turnaround, you can see the settei is labelled "めいめい" which is read as 'Meimei'. Case closed!

Interestingly, Mei is also namedropped in Viewpoint B and it stated to have written lyrics for at least one of B-Komachi's songs around when Ai was fourteen. Maybe we've got her to thank for Heart's♡Kiss?

The Deeper Digs

So, full disclosure – credit for this first ID goes to users thePermianwascool and ali94127 as they pointed out all these details in my Viewpoint B thread a few months ago. I'm just getting it all in one spot!

Viewpoint B, like 45510, is narrated by an unidentified B-Komachi member but we have just enough details about who she is in the story to put a face to her and it's the B-Komachi member in yellow with the penguin hairpin:

Her member colour is yellow

VB-chan left B-Komachi before the first gen disbanded and accordingly, Penguin Girl is one of the members missing from the final concert.

I don't think it's a stretch to call that one a slam dunk.

Interestingly, the fleeting connection between the Viewpoint B narrator and Ai is the heart of that sidestory and it meant enough to Ai that even years after that single conversation, she considers the narrator her closest friend in B-Komachi. And if you pay attention to the anime art, our Viewpoint B narrator suspect is almost always placed directly at Ai's side with a consistency that feels intentional.

Maybe Ai really did have a friend by her side all this time.

In addition to our narrator, Viewpoint B also identifies another B-Komachi member called Kanan. While this is not a name we've heard before, B-Komachi members are also referred to by fans by cute, affectionate nicknames in-universe. As such, it's possible that she is the 'Kyun' that Sarina refers to in episode/chapter 1.

The other identifying feature we're told about is Kanan's long, silky black hair. In the lineup there are only two unidentified B-Komachi members with long hair and only one with hair I would say reads as black to me.

The girl with the panda pin.

In addition, this post is mostly spoiler free but for Oshi no Sickos who are caught up on the current arc, here are some ROT13 filtered spoilers from the manga that make me slightly more confident in calling this shot.

Xnan'f ebyr va 15 Lrne Yvr vf na nf-bs-guvf-cbfg havqragvsvrq O-Xbznpuv zrzore. Va zber be yrff gur fnzr oerngu gung guvf cbvag vf rfgnoyvfurq, Xnan vf nyfb gurzngvpnyyl pbaarpgrq gb gur vzntrel bs cnaqnf juvpu jbhyq zngpu Xnana'f navzny zbgvs. Vg nyfb cebonoyl whzcrq bhg ng lbh jvgubhg zr fnlvat vg ohg abgr gur fvzvynevgvrf va gurve anzrf, gbb – Xnan naq Xnana.

Someone Stop This Girl Cooking

This part of the post is where I stray out of reasonable assumptions and into wild speculation territory but it's speculation I feel is backed up enough by the source that I don't want to entirely discount it. While this isn't strictly an ID, I do want to call attention to a character I think may be more important than she initially appears to be: the B-Komachi member in blue with the hamster hairpin.

Of the B-Komachi members, she is the only one other than Ai to have a distinctly fantastical hair colour - the other girls all have varying degrees of unnatural shades but Hampter Girl and Ai both stand out as having very distinctly 'anime' looking hair.

In addition, she is given a lot of passing but very notable focus but the anime's framing. She is one of the two other B-Komachi members who join Ai in the private performance of Sign wa B where the twins perform their lightstick dance and is the center of the trio of B-Komachi members we see at Ai's funeral.

Shun Sawai - one of episode 1's character designers and animators - also posted some official art that has her front and center of B-Komachi.

If these aren't just coincidences, it's possible she's being given some attention because she has some importance to the plot or the story as a whole. And why would that be?

As we've already established, Penguin Girl here is our Viewpoint B narrator...

So what if our Hamster Girl is the narrator of 45510?

If this is the case, that would make our Blue B-Komachi member one of the three founding girls paid homage to with Ai's passcode - Nino, Watanabe or Takamine. Picking entirely at random, I'm choosing to headcanon her as Takamine for the time being.

Keep in mind that this section of the post is strictly speculation of course! I just think it would be a nice fit.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ai hoshino #hoshino ai #b-komachi #b komachi

64 notes · View notes