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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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AITA for asking my mother not to do certain things?

Let me start off by saying i'm homeschooled. I've been homeschooled my entire life. I don't have any friends offline, so I've pretty much come here to ask for outside opinions from my friend groups (online).

Prefer not to state ages, if that's okay. It makes me uncomfortable.

I have ocd, suspected autism, and either auditory processing disorder or misophonia (we're not sure which.) as well as a plethora of other issues. my mother is very aware that i have ocd (she has it herself) and i've mentioned misophonia to her several times. she doesn't know about my other mental issues, as for reasons you're probably going to see here, as i don't feel comfortable or safe telling her. (or, i've tried, and she doesn't listen, or tells me i'm "being dramatic.")

my ocd is quite crippling, to the point i've tried medication, herbal tea (chamomile seems to work a bit!), asking friends for advice, and even asking her for advice. as of the last year, it's had a grip on my life and has been quite a problem for me. i'm unable to do things i want or need to a lot, and especially struggle doing most things, even basic tasks. i'm unable to see a therapist/counsellor or psychologist/psychiatrist for personal/financial reasons.

a lot of my triggers (well, not exactly triggers for the ocd, but they stop me from doing things.) revolve around sound, especially people talking. whistling is a major trigger for my misophonia/apd, as are other high pitched noises.

my mother has a tendency to watch tv a lot, and i often ask her to not do this when i'm trying to do certain things, as it makes my ocd a bit worse, and it's often rather loud. (please note i wear headphones a lot of the time for sensory issues.)

however, when i ask her either to turn it down, pause it temporarily, or ask her to turn it off for a bit, she has a tendency to get mad/upset. to the point of throwing a bit of a fit over it, in a way that to me seems a bit attention seeking (in the bad way). she says things like "fine, whatever." and flaps her arms about dramatically or slaps her legs, or she says "i don't even wanna watch it now, it's ruined."

i'll go ahead and say she's a bit self-centered in a lot of ways. for years she has said i've "targeted" her and "treated her terribly" even though any time i was (to her) doing these things, i was usually defending myself or telling her to do something that she needed to do that had been requested for days/weeks/months/sometimes years. i also have a tendency to ask her what she's doing, either out of genuine curiosity, or because she has done something strange to me that i didn't understand. which she gets mad over.

she also gets mad if i ask if she's coming over here (i have a tendency to walk/pace in certain areas to music, it helps with stress/adhd/also helps me write/act things out. she is very aware of this and this isn't really a problem.) or ask how long she will be over here. she seems to think me asking this is telling her she can't come over, or desperately trying to get her to move. admittedly sometimes i DO want her to move, but 90% of the time i am just asking so i know if i need to move to a different area to walk or just stop temporarily.

sometimes when i am having a particular peak in my ocd/anxiety/whatever else, i ask her not to talk for a moment/few minutes, either so i can do something i need to, or because i'm afraid it will make it worse. she'll either get mad about this, or go on a tangent about "not catering to me" and saying things "the real world doesn't work like this, and nobody cares that you have ocd/issues." she has a tendency to take my issues as a personal attack on her, when in reality i would ask anyone to stop for a moment.

she has a tendency to belittle me in a sense for it. i've tried to explain some of it to her (without revealing details of my trauma she doesn't know about, as most of my ocd is linked to severe ptsd.) and she says it "doesn't make any sense" and i "need to stop" and i "need to just make myself stop." she has ocd, and knows compulsions are not always rational, and yet still says these things.

part of my desire not to go to a therapist is because of her. she claims they will either try to put me away take me to another home/put me in foster care, or drug me up on medication that will make me dull. (the other part is more personal, and unrelated to her, but to my aforementioned trauma.)

one of the things i especially ask her not to do is whistle, or make a few other certain noises (eating loud, using nail files around me, etc) because they are especially triggering to me. she'll either blatantly refuse and say i "don't get to tell her what to do" or i don't "control her" (please note i am just asking, but when i DO specifically tell her to stop, it is because she either already knows this sound is triggering to me, or i've already asked, and i'm losing my patience.) or she'll do it louder/more just to trigger me further (my father also does this. sometimes as a joke which in some ways is worse.) or she'll go on the "not catering + nobody cares" tangent again.

i know my ocd and other issues can be a bit interrupting, but i don't ask huge things of her or anyone else. all i ask is for them to not make certain sounds around me, temporarily ask them to not do something/stop doing something, or ask them to do it a bit quieter for me. please note she has the ability to watch tv/videos on other devices with headphones easily, she just chooses not to. and worse of all, they treat it like it's not interrupting to me, when it affects my everyday life in ways far worse than asking/telling them not to do something.

it makes me feel unwanted and unappreciated, and i'll admit, i've contemplated....not existing, if you will, many times over this issue and others.

i just don't really know if i'm asking too much, or if they're just being shitty. i want outside opinions on this.

so, AITA?

(id put a tl;dr in here, but i don't really know what to put. feel free to do it for me. also, i know this was kinda long, but i needed to put some extra things in, sorry if thats like an inconvenience or anything!)

(adding my sideblog here so i can get notifs, @ocdaitathrowaway)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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normal-internet-user · 11 months

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Hi, could you do a bayverse tmnt x teen sibling reader (gn pls) where they catch their sibling vaping/smoking?

I feel like Raph and Mikey would be a bit okay with it (probably if it’s vaping) while Leo and Donnie would be freaking out about it

Just like to start this off by saying, don't smoke kids! Lung cancer isn't cool, and as a teenager with a dad who smokes, the one thing he constantly tells me it was the worst mistake of his life.

BAYVESE CATCH SIBLING READER SMOKING/VAPING

.........................................

Oh boy.

I can't really think of how you'd get caught,

Maybe Leo found your vape or your cigarettes.

Immediate freak out,

"(Name)! (Name), you have 10 seconds to explain what the hell this was doing in your room. " he holds up the pack of cigarettes/vape.

Leo wouldn't be angry, just worried and dissapointed that you'd do something like that.

Donnie is surprisingly the one who's pissed.

He'd go on and on about the dangers of smoking, the life long side affects, addiction, "I though you were better than this." etc. etc.

Once again, Raph is upset you'd lie about it.

I don't think he'd be very happy about the smoking either, but the biggest thing for him is the constant lying.

Mikey is so worried about you.

Why did you start smoking in the first place?

Stress? Anxiety? Peer pressure?

He's trying to understand your reasoning for the bad desicion, he just wants to make sure you're ok :(

You have constant eyes on you now.

The boys decided the best way to make you quite was to cut you off cold-turkey,

So now one of them always stays behind to watch you., and make sure you don't try to start again.

Yeah, now you're irritable and pissed off, but it's what's best for you.

They'll try to find you more healthy ways to cope, meditation, figit toys, chewing gum, and stuff like that.

And Leo, Donnie, and Raph probably won't trust you for a while.

Donnie is so fucking petty about it too.

"I'm going to school! See you guys later!"

"I'm testing you for nicotine when you get back! And don't even think about using gum, that won't hide shit!"

*Very loud, and very angry teenager door slam*

It's just 'cus he cares :(

Mikey and Splinter pretty much turn into your therapists.

Splinter makes it a point to leave you bowls of sliced fruit if your having a particularly irritating day.

No matter how pissed off you are, you could never bring yourself to snap at your dad.

You'll thank him for the fruit, and he'll sit with you for a while.

Just to keep you company.

Mikey is also spared from your wrath.

Most of the time.

Sometimes if your cravings gets bad enough, you'll snap at him.

But you always go back and apologize.

Your family will stay with you up untill your completely sober.

All the way until those cravings for that bad bad nicotine go away!

....................................

I'm just going to end this by once again saying, don't smoke kids.

It isn't good for your health, and addiction is no joke. If you're an adult, you do you, but kiddo's and my fellow highschoolers, at least wait until it's legal to do. Wait until you're older to make a desicion like that.

#normie rambles #tmnt #tmnt x reader #x reader #donnie x reader #leonardo x reader #raphael x reader #mikey x reader #sibling reader #teenage mutant ninja turtles bayverse #bayverse tmnt x reader #tmnt x reader headcanons #platonic tmnt x reader #tmnt x gn reader #normie writes

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copperbadge · 5 months

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Told my therapist about NaClYoHo, and she likes the idea a lot. But she had a really important question that I couldn't answer: What happens at the end of November for people who want or need to continue?

Hey, I told mine too! She thought it was a smart way to systematize something that even people without ADHD struggle with. I did write a little about this in the manifesto but not in a systemic way, and perhaps I should add some kind of "What Happens After November?" onto the end, so thank you for asking this question!

No system works for every person, and often if a system does work, only part of it works. So when I went to write the manifesto, I wanted to make it as modular as possible. There's a reason that while NaClYoHo is a community, it's a very loose one, without a messageboard or discord or anything that would more intentionally bring people together. This is meant to be a framework on which you build your own home, not an apartment building.

So honestly, what happens at the end of November is up to you.

(I'm assuming for the rest of this post that you've been participating, but if you haven't, that's okay -- most of this should still apply, it's just less about "continuing momentum" and more about "committing to an idea".)

I talk a little in the manifesto about how doing this can help to systematize it -- having spent 30 days putting on a podcast and cleaning can teach you that it's easier than you think, and can put you in the habit. So if you feel it's good for you, keep doing what you're doing. Even posting about it, if you want. Maybe find a buddy you can talk to about it, or give it five minutes in therapy every week.

That said, doing this Every Day For A Month can also be tiring. I find it stressful! I manage the stress, but right now I look forward to giving myself permission not to see something dirty or broken and feel compelled to clean or fix it. Part of doing this in November, for me, is that the rest of the year I can say "Well, that's a November problem" and let it go. So you can, instead of keeping on, start keeping notes about what needs to be done, and either wait until next November, or designate a time period every few months to take care of it. Or have one day a week that's the Salty Pirate day, where you do dishes, or vacuum, or fold laundry or whatever.

NaClYoHo is going to taper gently for me -- it ends tomorrow, but some stuff is going to linger, like the craft projects I need to finish or the furniture I need to assemble that hasn't arrived yet. You can also do that -- keep cleaning as long as you have energy and, once you're feeling tired, stop for a bit.

Now, bearing in mind that I'm just a guy on the internet, it seems like your therapist is engaged with your process, so I would recommend bringing it back to her. She seems like the ideal person to help you make a plan for after November -- you can examine your options, maybe come up with some I haven't named, and discuss how each of them might impact you. And if you're checking in with her about it going forward, she can help you gauge how you're doing with it. At some point it might just be so habitual you don't need to worry about it as a process anymore -- or at some point you might need to set yourself a boundary.

It can be a little intimidating to put yourself so fully in control of something, but the only way you make this work for you is to make it your own. Whether that means continuing on with your whole chest, or shrinking it down for the rest of the year, or stopping -- you get to decide.

Good luck. :) And give your therapist a high five for me.

#naclyoho #national clean your home month

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linawritestwst · 1 year

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rollo x reader who's scared of magic headcanons (gn!reader)

so. here i am, writing this HJSJDJDSJ. but i actually wanted to write something with rollo for a long time and i thought that i can wait until this event ends.. but i'm too impatient, haha. also yeah, if you haven't read the event story yet, these headcanons are full of spoilers!

okay, so i probably should explain this concept. you see, i know that this fandom usually depicts mc as someone who is 100% against rollo's actions and wants to protect their friends AND THAT'S COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE, but one day i sat there and was like.. "but what if mc wasn't like that". what if mc was so tired of everything and they were so traumatized because of everything that happened that they became scared of magic? what if they even hate it now? you can imagine the reader being someone who loved magic and was interested in it, but eventually became terrified of it because of their trauma or you can imagine them being someone who found this world too scary from the start. also, they don't like nrc students that much (but they don't want to admit it) and pretty much get a corruption arc, so if you don't want to read something like that.. you should probably skip this one.

if you want to read something similar (but more.. uh, comforting), but with other characters, feel free to check out my riddle, leona, azul and jamil x reader who's traumatized from overblots headcanons!

warnings: a mention of a panic/anxiety attack, a possibly unhealthy relationship dynamic, mc's behavior is also very similar to ptsd.

♡ you know that so many people would go "i wish it were me" if you told them about everything that happened with you in this world called twisted wonderland. come on, you have a cute cat sidekick (who acts more like a gremlin), you get to see so many pretty boys every day and this world also has magic! why wouldn't you want to stay here? sure, you miss your family and friends, but also you have to agree that this world is more fun than the one you came from. you agree, right, y/n?.. you wish you could say that you do, but you're not so sure anymore. living in twisted wonderland sounds fun, it really does, but you never felt so stressed and anxious in your entire life. you wanted to help these boys, you wanted to understand them, but you didn't want to become their therapist. you have your own problems, you just want to go back home already, you miss your loved ones! and as you kept trying to help everyone and you saw just how dangerous their magic can be.. you started to get more and more scared of it.

♡ you don't want to go to nbc at all at first. you don't find it as exciting as others do and you agree only because crowley told you that you might find out how to go back to your world there. and you knew well that crowley is most likely lying to you again, but.. what's the point in refusing to go? if you agree to visit the city of flowers, you won't find any hints there, but if you stay here, you also won't find any hints. you're tired of your dorm and this school in general, so maybe going to a new place will make you feel better. also you just want to get a break from seeing crowley's face every day and you sure hope that you won't find another student to take care of there.

♡ when you meet rollo for the first time, he feels like someone who's completely different from nrc students. sure, you can definitely feel that there's something.. off about him at first, but he seems like such a polite and caring person that you stop thinking about it at some point. but rollo officially gains your trust when he says that it must be tiring for you to be surrounded by magic users all the time. you don't think anyone from nrc has ever said such a thing to you, you know that they care about you, but most of the time it felt like you were just being used and people rarely asked you about your own feelings. honestly, you feel like you're about to cry when you hear those words from him but you try to stay calm. it's probably not a good idea to tell him about everything that you had to go through, you literally just met him! and why did he just say that he wants you to forget about your problems while you're here? this.. this doesn't feel right. why is he so nice to you?

♡ you notice that even though rollo is mostly nice to everyone here, he definitely treats you better than other students. you don't know the reason, but you're not sure that you even want to know it. yes, you've been manipulated quite a lot of times in the past, but.. you don't really have any energy to try and "see right through him". even if he just wants to use you, for some reason you just can't bring yourself to care. it's probably because you find people being genuinely nice to you more surprising than people manipulating you. so for now.. you want to believe that he really is just that kind. you have some very nice and interesting conversations with him and you find yourself enjoying spending time with him like this. you don't even want to go back to nrc students, haha.. it was a joke, but for some reason your anxiety comes back when you see their faces again. hm? what did rollo say just now? it sounded a bit like "those magic users.." but why did he say it in such an angry tone?

♡ you really want to have fun at the festival, but you just.. can't. you feel too tired, everyone is so loud and noisy and you can't focus on anything. you want to dance with everyone as well, but for some reason, when you see them having fun together.. you remember all the overblots, you remember all the times you had to do crowley's job, you remember all the tragic backstories that you had to listen to. but before you can stop thinking about all that and join them even though you can't even stand properly.. the fireworks start. you know that malleus just wants to make the townspeople happy and you agree that they deserve to have the best festival ever, but also, everything is even more loud now because everyone decides to join malleus. they even manage to turn this into a competition. haha, nrc students never change, do they? you wish you could laugh about it, but for some reason you can't even smile right now. what is wrong with you? why are you feeling like this? shouldn't you find these fireworks as beautiful as everyone does? these boys are trying so hard, you should compliment them for their efforts! grim and malleus especially want to hear compliments from you, considering that they're the ones who started it, but you can't say anything nice to them right now.

♡ for some reason, it gets harder for you to breathe and your head starts spinning. it's probably because the noise is too overwhelming for you, you could try and go somewhere more quiet but you can't just leave them here! but why.. why is everything so scary right now? you're so mad at yourself for not feeling as happy as everyone else, but after everything that you had seen, it's impossible for you to see magic as something good. you can't focus on anything else right now and your mind is screaming at you, begging you to run away and hide somewhere, but you still sit there and watch everyone. but you didn't know that somebody else has been watching you all this time too.

♡ you find it strange that the only thing that you can hear clearly right now is rollo telling malleus that if he and other students are so powerful, then they should use their magic more carefully. you feel so shocked, you didn't expect someone like him to say such a thing. it would be normal for someone like trein to say it, he's your professor, of course he would be worried and he would tell everyone to be more careful with their magic. and you already had a feeling that rollo is a very responsible person so you weren't surprised when you noticed that he doesn't really like the fireworks, but for him to say something like this.. you can't help but agree with him.

♡ after he's done talking to malleus, he wants to make sure that you're okay and when he looks at you, it becomes obvious to him that you're not okay at all. he sincerely apologizes to you for letting something like this happen and says that he should have noticed that you're not doing so well. rollo helps you find a little more calm and quiet place even though that's pretty hard to do right now because of the festival, but to be honest, you feel more safe already because of him. while you're trying to calm down and you're starting to breathe normally, rollo suddenly asks you, don't you think that magic is too dangerous and people can't just use it as carelessly as those students did? you can easily hurt someone with it and not all magic users can control it, some of them don't even try, they don't care what happens to other people. maybe this world would be better without magic users.. no, it would totally be better without them.

♡ he wants to hear your answer and you don't know what to say. no, actually, you do know what you want to say, but you're not strong enough to do it. saying those words would feel like betraying everyone else, yes, you're terrified of magic, but you don't want all of your friends to disappear! "friends".. you don't know if you actually would call them friends if those magicians weren't your only company in this world. you try to say that magic is not that bad, but something stops you. you try to say those words, but you realize that you can't because that would be a lie. you have thought many, MANY times that everything would be so much better if magic didn't exist. it's not only because of overblots and other terrible things, it's also because you wouldn't come to this world if it wasn't for magic. this is why you still can't go back home.

♡ you still can't find the courage to say that you think rollo is right, so you end up crying and you keep saying how scared you are and how tired you are. you blame yourself for crying in front of him, because you don't want to make him worry about you, but also, finally letting your feelings out like this feels nice. you needed to cry, you needed to admit that you find this whole situation terrifying and that you want all of this to end. you don't notice rollo looking confused for a second, it's almost like he's not sure what he's supposed to do, but when you look up at him, he's already holding you in his arms. and you realize that you needed someone to hug you like this for a long time.

♡ when rollo tells you about his plan, at first you think that it's a bit too much. you agree that this world would be much better without magic, but taking their powers like this.. you ask rollo if they're really gonna be okay after that, especially the fae students. rollo simply says that you're too kind for villains like them and that you don't have to care about them this much, they don't deserve your sympathy. after everything you've done for them, they are the ones who should feel sorry and beg you to spare them. you still don't want to hurt them too badly, but also.. maybe you and rollo really should teach them a lesson. it's fine, they are gonna be fine, you're doing this to save them, it's not your revenge or anything like that.. at least that's what you want to think and rollo assures you that you two really are going to save them and that your intentions are pure. it feels weird to hear just how much rollo wants to change this world and that you two are the only ones who can truly understand each other even though he's still a magic user himself and you are a magicless human. him meeting a human, who hates magic as much as he does and you meeting a magic user, who is willing to make this scary and cruel world a better place for you.. haha, you two are basically soulmates.

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twst imagines #twst headcanons #twst x reader #rollo flamm #rollo flamm x reader #rollo flamme #rollo flamme x reader #yeah i'm using both tags for him because i've seen both of them being used #i thought i'll just go with one of them but no!! this guy has so many names!!#so yeah i'll decide which one to use if one of them becomes more popular or when we get the official eng version of it

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earlgreytea68 · 2 months

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Many years ago now, when I was a very unhappy and depressed lawyer, I went to see a therapist. The therapist diagnosed that I was suffering from severe levels of stress and asked me to keep a "stress journal": for the week between appointments, I was to write down whenever I felt my stress spike.

When I returned to the next appointment with my stress journal, the therapist was shocked I'd actually done the assignment. He said nobody actually keeps a physical journal. I suspected that maybe he didn't fully understand my personality type and the fact that some of my stress was the result of PEOPLE ASKING ME TO DO THINGS THEY APPARENTLY DIDN'T ACTUALLY WANT ME TO DO BUT I WAS RESPONSIBLY DOING THEM BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I AM.

Anyway, I digress, that's not the point of the story. The point was that when we looked together at my stress journal, we diagnosed that a recurrent source of spiking stress was receiving an email. This was so many years ago that it was before the smartphone, in the age of the BlackBerry, and every time my stupid BlackBerry vibrated, my stress skyrocketed. Having figured that out, the therapist was like, "What happens if you miss an email for an hour?" And that was hard to articulate. Probably nothing, tbh. Like, realistically I could go without checking my email if I was too busy with work, so why couldn't I when I was home watching TV? So the therapist suggested I confine my email checking to a set schedule. Only at the appointed times would I check my email and deal with whatever had come in.

And you know what? The world never ended, and it WAS a huge relief not to feel like I had to immediately be available for every email. To this day, my work email does NOT come to my phone and I only check it at my appointed times of day. (Actually, I resisted getting a smartphone until very late because after I left the law firm I thought the most glorious thing in the world was PEOPLE COULDN'T REACH ME.)

Anyway, I was thinking about all that today because I had a bad day at work and I realized that I was dreading checking my email and it just made me think that I have lingering issues around email. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I was like, ...no, I probably have lingering issues around WORK because of that job experience I had. Like, was it really about what emails I might have, or was it because I spent the day feeling manipulated in an unpleasant way that made me wary and suspicious of certain things around me, and then THAT made me think, like, I was overreacting because of the way that previous job experience was and the fact that the way it manipulated and abused me will never actually fully leave me, but THEN I was like, OR is it that I honed excellent instincts for that kind of situation happening and I should listen to myself when I feel that way, or or or--

Which is all to say that I wonder sometimes how I would have developed as a professional had I not had that career experience so early on in my life. But then I am in a weird way grateful for it, not because it forever kind of messed up my head in some ways but because I learned SO MUCH about those messed-up situations. Like, it was awful, don't get me wrong, but I did learn a bunch of coping mechanisms I still use today. Like limiting my email exposure. And I think I am warier than a lot of other people I know who didn't go through a workplace that mentally abused you the way that mine did, but I'm not so sure that's a terrible thing. I think it makes me touchy about work-life boundaries and i think there are way worse things to be in our capitalist society.

And also, every once in a while I think about the fact that I didn't think I was going to make it through those years but I did and I am pretty proud of myself for that, so also that. I made it through the other side when I honestly for real didn't think that I would, and every once in a while I have a day that reminds me of how I felt all the time back then, and it makes me remember to be grateful how many days I've gotten to have without that feeling.

#personal #stress #therapy #work

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kitsuvil · 1 year

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Hi im not sure if the requests were open or not so if not just ignore it

What about enemies to lovers with tighnari, but the reader has adhd, tighnari doesnt know this and just thinks the reader doesnt focus on his lectures just to annoy him

The reader also doesnt know that tighnari isnt aware of the fact they have adhd. They tought they told them before or someone else did and he is just being rude on purpose.

Now watch tighnari's emberrasment after he finds your adhd meds and goes "oh gods im an idiot"

— misunderstanding [tighnari x gn! adhd! reader]

warnings/notes; fluff, comfort, adhd, mental health, does get slightly angsty in the depressed reader type of way but tighnari comes to fix it ofc <3 i think i made this way more emotional and comfort focused than it should've been sorry anon but i hope it still fits ;;

summary; your emotional breakdows for the past few weeks were all just a misunderstanding? tighnari should learn how to read better. proper summary is technically in the ask i'm just playing around hehe

"Again, Y/N?"

"What?" Your eyes flicker back to the lead ranger who's berating you for disregarding his lessons. For the 6th time this week. You'd think that by now you'd have learned to stop drifting away from his voice and the lecture...

But all he could see is that you truly didn't want to pay attention, you thought that staring at the clouds and people outside mattered more than the instruction he was offering.

"Y/N, please, I understand if you don't think it's important to learn all this, it can be very extensive but... I don't understand why you would ask for extra tutoring if you don't care. Is it just to take away time from me?"

"No, I- I get you're really busy, I would never take advantage of you like that, I really want to learn this and become a better forest ranger..."

You'd told him before about how difficult it is for you to memorize the content you're supposed to learn. Everything seems to just leave your mind, entirely without your consent. One day you think you've got something entirely scaled out in your mind, but by the time you have to answer questions about it, you can only stare into nothing and rack your empty brain, just to find not even a hint towards the answer.

You can promise Tighnari that you'd paid attention that day all you want, but you don't have the evidence to prove it. The times you can remember something fully and it stays, you throw a mini-celebration in your head, feeling successful. Yet - you had to constantly remind yourself about the fact that it wouldn't be enough to become as good of a ranger as Tighnari, or even your colleague Collei.

Even the extensive tutoring you'd begged Tighnari to give you wasn't helping, you felt hopeless. Now here he was, getting upset at you for something you couldn't control. You knew he had his eyes on you every time you couldn't stop fidgeting from stress and the overwhelming feeling of what you had to accomplish that day. You felt so... Weak. Didn't he understand your condition? You were almost positive he'd read through the files that were stored somewhere in Gandharva Ville. He did that for everyone. Shouldn't he understand how debilitating having ADHD felt?

"Y/N. You're spacing out again. What do you need from me so that I can actually help you?" Tighnari raised his voice.

Comfort, you wanted to speak out. But instead, you just looked down at your lap in silence. It wouldn't do anything to suddenly spill out your stressors and illness to him. He wasn't a therapist after all, he was just a student, professor, and a ranger at the same time. He doesn't deserve to have more issues thrown on him. Either way, this was something you'd been told to deal with yourself your entire life.

"If you're going to be like this, the session is dismissed for today. I hope you'll be more focused within the class along with the rest of the trainees tomorrow. Be awake bright and early in the morning so you don't miss anything. Although, it seems like you're not getting enough sleep so I might be a little more lenient."

You heaved a sigh of relief, ready to go home and cry your stress out under the comfort of your blankets. At least maybe you could rest a little more in the morning, but it would just be another case of you being portrayed as 'lazy', when all you wanted was to be as active as the others.

"Thank you, goodnight Tighnari," you frowned.

You returned home and let the tears spill the instant you fell into your bed, feeling even more helpless than a few weeks ago when you hadn't asked him for help. He was acting like an ass to you for no reason. You really didn't comprehend why he couldn't have some mercy on you and try to help you learn in other ways that would be memorable.

A knock echoed through the building you slept in and called home. "Yes?" You managed to get out in between choked sobs as you tried to calm down and wipe your face, deciding on pretending to have just been asleep so that your eyebags weren't suspicious.

It was Tighnari who walked in, of course.

"I thought I'd get you some tea, to help you sleep. It's obvious you're not having a good time. I'm sorry if I'm too strict on you, but I can't help you if you don't put in the effort."

You untuck your head from your sheets.

"I've been trying so hard to put in effort, Tighnari. You just... don't care to see it. Thanks for the tea, you can put it on my bedside table."

"Y/N..." He pauses for a moment, coming closer while contemplating on what you said

There's a long silence after he places the hot cup down.

"Shit, Y/N, you're kidding me right?"

"Did I do something wrong again?..." You tensed up.

"No, I- How did I not see this. I'm an actual idiot. This makes so much sense."

You look towards Tighnari to see what was causing his mental spiral.

In his hands was a small bottle, a paper on it labeled as treatment for ADHD.

"Oh, yeah... Sorry, I forgot to take them today. That must be why today was worse than usual..." You rub your hands over your fatigued face.

"That's not it, I'm just... Y/N, you never told me you had ADHD? I've been so hard on you this entire time because I just thought you hated my lectures and teaching and me."

You freeze up after hearing his words, stuck in the element of shock.

"I thought you knew? There's no way you didn't know, it's on my files, isn't it? The ones you read about everyone?"

"You noticed that? I must've just entirely missed it. Y/N, I'm so sorry. No words can explain how I feel right now. I'm so guilty."

"Tighnari, don't stress over it too much. You don't know how relieved I feel right now, I thought you were just entirely dismissing my condition. Don't feel guilty, I understand it was just a big misunderstanding now."

"Still, I'm so sorry. Do you perhaps need some comfort, attention, anything? I don't have anything planned until class in the morning. You can explain things to me for hours, I don't care. My ears are always open to listening whether I like it or not anyway. We're going to plan out a guide that will help you memorize the content more, we can even do experiments and things, I will bring you to a proper forest ranger in no time. I wish I'd known this earlier."

The next morning, the entire group of forest rangers saw Tighnari and you exit from the same bedroom, tired with eyebags present, but you were smiling like never before.

You two were already closely acquainted, where could this go further now that he knew the truth?

THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE PLS IM SOBBING. like actually bcs like partway thru this i teared up and idk if it was the tighnari playlist i was listening to or the kinning what mc feels in this 💀 neurodivergent people unite (though this IS heavily based on how adhd shows itself to me, it'll rarely be the exact same experience for everyone!)

on a side note i rly hope this was written well for u anon, u are my first actual request and i think thats super sweet and i enjoyed writing this a lot, u get a special first request badge <3

#genshin #genshin impact #hoyoverse #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact headcanons #genshin fluff #genshin comfort #tighnari #tighnari x reader #tighnari fluff #tighnari x you #genshin x reader #fluff #vil's reqs💞

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perfidious-prophet · 5 months

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The fucking things they dont tell you when you fucking start Testosterone.

Yeah, everybody knows about the deeper voice and the dreaded asshair, but these were my unfunny little surprises after 3 months on T. Reminder that shit will always vary from person to person because we're not all clones of each other, whatever.

1. Bottom growth fucking hurts. Sometimes I don't want to wear pants. I knew it would happen, didn't know it'd be so uncomfortable. And it starts fast. Like first dose fast.

2. The irritability goes fucking CRAZY it's like I'm constantly PMSing. I get why dudes punch walls. Oh my god. I know how to keep my anger wraps, but holy shit.

3. On the topic of PMSing. I had temporary worsening of menstrual cramps. Jesus fuck. I was having pain before menstruation started for days, and sometimes just randomly. I hope it doesn't flare up, but it seems to be calming down now. I think my body is freaking out over weird hormone levels.

4. Vocal fatigue. Talking hurts. I expected voice cracks, obviously, but why the fuck does this shit hurt? I don't even want to talk that much anymore. My voice just gives out. It's still deepening, so a win is a win, I guess.

5. Apathy, emptiness, anhedonia, and numbness. My motivation has tanked. I don't fucking care anymore. I just want people to leave me alone so I can take a nap. I already had mental issues before starting T, and I don't think T gave this to me, but it's definitely changed how I feel my mental illnesses. I have to like relearn how to cope and shit. I don't recommend starting hormones if you're an emotionally unstable dumbass like myself. This is literally second puberty, mood swings and teen angst included. I am a volatile, angry little man.

6. Anxiety. Like I said, teen angst. My panic attacks now include intense nausea, which is New and Uncool. Dunno why that happened. But I'm just nervous. There's nothing to be nervous about. I consistently feel like I've forgotten to do homework. I am not even in school anymore. Rad!

7. Psychosis? I had my first intense psychotic break at 14. It lasted 6 months, give or take. I've had shorter episodes on and off since then. My symptoms are stress based. The emotional strain is, naturally, pushing me towards the edge again. I am sure I will explode brilliantly and violently within the weeks to come.

8. Male loneliness is real dudes. Have friends.

9. It's harder to mask. I've been periodically going mute again. I'd never really stopped, but it's more frequent now.

Anyway that's my rant I think.

I'm not telling you not to do hormones. I'm not your dad. But it's not fucking easy. Anyway I have no intention of stopping. I am thuggin that shit out. I had a really really tough time during first puberty, and I suspect I'm going to have issues the second time around.

I am happy with the changes I am experiencing physically. I still feel confident and sure of my identity as a trans man. I am just not very happy about losing control over my mental state again. We'll see how it goes. If I'm lucky, I'll get medicated. I can't afford a therapist right now.

Good luck out there, whoever you are.

#testosterone #hrt #ftm #ftm hrt #gaht #gender affirming care #transgender #lgbtq #trans man #trans masculine #rant post #medical transition #hormones #hormone therapy #genderqueer #borderline personality disorder #schizophreniform

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octuscle · 7 months

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Hey there! I work as a therapist and a few of us were starting to think of the clinical applications of chronivac. We were wondering if you wanted to work together to develop some presets that our clients could use to de-stress and take a break from their stressful lives. I know we have one stressed out university student who could benefit from something like this.

At Chronivac, we are always interested in collaborating with research institutions. After all, Chronivac is not used just to have fun. It is already being used for the treatment of various physical illnesses and also for resocialization projects. The use in the psychotherapeutic field would be new, but sounds interesting according to the research and development department. If the student they are talking about is available as a guinea pig, perhaps send us a requirements profile for a transformation. And we'll see what we can do….

Research Diary Timothy Walker

Day One: My psychotherapist tells me that my burn-out syndrome has progressed to the point that continuing my business studies is out of the question at this point. In fact, I am having a hard time concentrating. Writing this report is causing me great difficulty; my attention span is only a few minutes. Therefore, an experimental therapy has been decided with the psychology faculty, which is connected with a semester off for me. Under certain circumstances, the semester can be counted as an internship. Everything is fine with me. I am just tired. The work on the research diary was exhausting for me. I need to lie down.

Second day: I slept very well. No wild nightmares as usual. I woke up briefly once or twice at most, but went right back to sleep. Michael, who is in charge of the project as pysiotherapist, thinks that this would be a good starting point to work on my physical fitness. We both went running for an hour. I'm exhausted, I haven't moved that much since I started studying. But I feel good. Made myself a real breakfast for the first time in months according to my new nutrition plan. I'm supposed to spend the rest of the day walking on the beach. Let's see if that clears my head.

Third day: Before Michael came for the training session, I was already in the gym for an hour. I'm really enjoying the physical activity. The beach walk yesterday was great. And Michael was thrilled to see the progress I'm making in terms of fitness. Had the first session with my creativity coach today. Seems a little silly to me. But imagining what I would be doing if I weren't studying business was fun. But I have to admit, my head isn't really getting creative yet. At least writing the diary is already much easier for me.

Day four: I need new challenges. The beach run with Mike is fun, but it's not a sport. That's warming up. We discussed that I would go running alone for an hour tomorrow and that we would meet in the gym of the therapy center. I'm supposed to come without a T-shirt. Mike wants me to learn to love my body. To be honest, I already do. I've already jerked off twice today. And think about sex a lot more than usual. Mike also comes in the process. My creative trainer is also quite cute, but he's too skinny for me. I like men who have a lot of muscle on them.

Fifth day: Fuck, the workout with Mike is awesome! I love the gym from the first minute. Yes, the beach feels my home. But the gym is the place that prepares me for that home. Working out shirtless makes the workout even more intense. i can't get enough of Mike's and my sweat beading on our pecs. But I'm so horny. All the time. During the creative training with Kev it just bubbled out of me today. I would so love to be a lifeguard. Maybe not all the time. But on vacation. And on the weekends. The idea made me even hornier. Poor Kev. He's not my type, but I had to nail him during practice. No idea when I last had sex. but this first time in a long time was incredibly intense. Thank God Kev felt the same way….

Day six: Today is uh free day at da therapy center. Mike n kev are already down at da beach, I wanted to pump up da muscles beforehand. I'm looking forward to da sea n da sand. Both make my head so free. Although I wouldn't feel like my head wuz overly full right now anyway. Pumping, fucking, jogging n swimming. That's really all I'm thinking about right now. Kevin says that I certainly wouldn't have to worry about da practical entrance exams for lifeguards. But I shouldn't underestimate da theory. Shit, studying sucks. But I guess it haz to be.

Day seven: I like it when I have da early shift. Da routine of opening da station is relaxing, da beach is still quiet, da few guests are usually relaxed n in uh gud mood. Wuz one of da best ideas of my life to take uh semester off n work as uh lifeguard. My pal mikey told me to lay off this crappy journal. Somehow I thought it wuz important until now. I can't remember why, either. Anyway. Da main thing is that da surf is gud. Den you can have some fun with da surfers afta work. Hehehehe…

#male tf #muscle tf #chronivac #male transformation #muscle transformation #surfer tf

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darlingkirstein · 27 days

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im just curious about your headcanon for their job (for eremika and jeanpiku if that's alright)

this question has truly thrown me for such a giant loop because im super indecisive! so i thought instead of choosing one option, i could list a few plausible options for the characters! these are just the jobs that came to mind for some reason. im sure i could come up with others but this are the first that i decided on, and i tried to choose jobs that are a little more unorthodox to be unique 🩷

also sorry for how long this has taken ! i know you've been waiting for this for a while 🫶

Eremika

— Eren Jaeger!

Physical/recreational therapist: I can imagine him wanting to help people but not wanting to be a hospital doctor or anything like that. He seems like he'd be a pretty active guy so I think a job where he gets to help people and also move around and help clients move around and recover from injury would be both fulfilling and fun for him at the same time! Or even recreational therapy, getting to help people through different activities!

Small business owner: I can see him taking the charge and owning his own business, maybe with the help of his parents with a small investment to get it started. Mikasa might also help with this when she has spare time because she wants to support him! I'm thinking something that incorporates his love of cooking, like a bakery or food shop?

Stuntman/stunt coordinator: This one is more for fun but I love picturing him as a stunt man for movies. He would get a kick out of the thrill it gives him if he's actively participating or he'd find it satisfying to coordinate really interesting stunt work. Mikasa would always be fearful that he's gonna injure himself.

— Mikasa Ackerman!

Bookstore employee: I don't know why, but I think Mikasa would love working around a quiet environment with books. Getting to provide recommendations and organize the shelves makes her feel accomplished without over-stressing her. She loves reading so the employee discount is definitely a big benefit.

Speech-language pathologist: I'm biased here because this is what I'm studying! But I think Mikasa could thrive in this job! Getting to help people struggling with communication is really fulfilling and she gets to challenge herself to find creative solutions. I think she would love working with children, helping them fix their speech sounds, or even with adults, helping with different disorders.

Daycare owner/lead employee: I think a lot of us agree that even in our modern AUs, Mikasa didn't have the happiest childhood. So, I think she tries to make sure that other children have the best possible childhood around. She would be very attentive to all their needs because she's naturally great with kids. Eren would find this so endearing and it would really give me lots of baby fever when she comes home and talks about the kiddos.

Jeanpiku

— Jean Kirstein!

Gonna start off by saying that I feel like Jean initially settles for an office job because he feels like he has to be a big breadwinner and have a stable, high-paying job but it ends up making him rather miserable so he quits to pursue other jobs.

Art restoration: I know the idea of Jean being an artist is kinda overplayed since he only draws once but I am so attached to it. But here I'm specifically thinking of him restoring old/damaged paintings for museums or for people's personal collections. He probably finds comfort in seeing the pretty paintings come back to life after being so dull. He takes it super seriously since it's so technical so he's very proud of his work and the results!

Something in the restaurant/food industry: Jean loves cooking so much! He would want to share his cooking with others. He might work at a restaurant making good or maybe even as a cooking instructor? I think that even if his job isn't in the food industry that he still volunteers his time to cook for people in need because it's something he's passionate about.

Art therapist: In a similar vein to art restoration, I am imagining him as an art therapist, trying to help people with their struggles through various forms of art. It's probably therapeutic to him, so sharing that therapy with others is so sweet to me. I think would love to work with children especially, just getting to see them smile after they've gone through some rough things :)

— Pieck Finger!

Something in journalism: Pieck would get a kick out of writing small articles for different papers or magazines, or even in the newspaper (even if it's a dying medium). She gets to show a more creative side while making a living and she also gets to work from home which is great because she's kind of a homebody! She gets to be comfortable while writing her fun articles :)

Accent/dialect coach: This is also kind of a half-serious one like the stunt coordinator one for Eren. I feel like Pieck would be weirdly good at accents, like stupidly good. So she might have fun working with actors either in bigger shows/movies or in local theatre productions to change accents.

Editor: Another job that could be done from home, I think she would like editing people's books or articles or anything to make them better. She finds it fun and satisfying to correct mistakes and make suggestions, and it's so fun because she can work on stuff from her bedroom if she so desired. Maybe she both writes and edits and just switches off depending on the day/helping out her writer friends by editing their work for them.

#eremika #jeanpiku #darlingkirstein asks #darlingkirstein headcannons #eremika headcannon #jeanpiku headcannon

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cherienymphe · 8 months

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HI, I found out that I'm pregnant this morning, me and the father have a long distance relationship but we essentially have only been together for 6 months. we saw each other over the summer,but we're doing the long distance thing again now.

I told him, and he went into full panic mode, saying he's not ready to be a father and saying that he shouldn't have done anything that night. It really started stressing me out, so I told him that and he said OK, I should get some rest.

I know you're not a therapist but I really don't want my family to know about his reaction, because even though I'm 23y/o they still treat me like I'm a child. My mother knows and she is waiting to hear back from me how he reacted, but im honestly scared and a little ashamed to tell her.

I don't know what to do, can anyone give me some advice?

You may not like my advice...but um...you need to get rid of that baby

It's ultimately your choice, but I'm telling you what I would do and what I think you should do. I'm about to get real honest and heavy, but if you have this baby, you need to accept the very high possibility that you will be a single mother. If that's something you can be okay with, then by all means. If not... He's made his feelings on the matter clear, and yes, I think it's valid for him to be a little freaked out but the way he handled it and what he said is not it.

Does he just assume you are ready to be a parent? Any mature man would know that you must be more worried than him considering you're the one that's carrying the child and will have to actually give birth to it. He can just walk away while you seemingly can't. You told him you're pregnant, and all he thought about was himself. Not to mention he expressed regret for making the baby. He flat out said he wished he hadn't slept with you.

At the risk of sounding like some evangelical christian in the backwoods of Kentucky, pregnancy is just one of those risks you take when you have sex. It is what it is. No birth control is 100% effective and I feel like when you have sex, you subconsciously accept that could happen while also subconsciously accepting what you'll do about it should it occur. His shock is giving 16 year old boy instead of grown man. Y'all had sex. Sometimes that happens with sex. I don't really see why the surprise that it happened to you guys and instead of discussing this like mature adults, he had a full blown freak out like he's going to be a teen dad or something.

Obviously you know him better than I do, but from where I'm standing, it doesn't seem like he's cut out for the job. Idk he just doesn't seem like a man I'd procreate with. Y'all only been dating for 6 months so I definitely think it's reasonable to terminate the pregnancy and cut him loose. Or simply cut him loose if you're okay with being a single mom. Either way he gotta go

#asks

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lunar-years · 9 months

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To preface I would never pretend to be any sort of expert on child abuse and trauma nor on healing from that trauma etc. but I also think the "Jamie wasn't forgiving his father, he was releasing his father's control over his life" viewpoint, while not necessarily wrong, is also...too simplistic? First of all Ted DOES frame it as "forgiveness." The phrase he uses literally is "just forgive him." So that's the message the show is sending regardless of whether that's how we personally make sense of Jamie's actions or not. Secondly, you don't just flick a switch from being terrified of your father and dictated by that fear one day to being totally free of his grip on you AND in a healthy and mentally stable enough place to reach out to him the next (let alone in the span of like, two hours, in the middle of a football match and immediately afterwards. Right after starting to emerge from a depressive episode!!).

I can definitely understand why Jamie may have texted his father in that moment, given the enormously high stress + bad mental health combo he'd been living under for days (weeks?), on top of Ted's (imo ill-fated) advice. But I can't for the life of me make sense of that being a "healthy" choice for him (which I think is how the show would like us to view it). The text alone may have not been inviting his father back into his life, but we see him going to visit his dad in the very next episode. I mean??? we skipped about 1200 steps to get there in an actually healthy way, I think, and talking to an actual therapist about the matter is top of the list.

If Jamie is working to free himself from his father's hold on him, that's a complicated and slow process that I'm not convinced is going to be helped by getting more involved in his father's life and potentially, given the rehab situation, care. I mean we know Jamie's character and I don't think it's really his personality to visit once for peace of mind and then drop this. It's much more likely he extends time and help to his dad and ends up more invested, rather than "free." That could be something that ends well for everyone, if his dad really is putting in the work and is in fact deserving of a ~second chance~ (or third, or fourth...we literally don't even know if he's tried and failed to get sober and Be Better before, but it's very possible), but it is also something that could go very very poorly and result in new devastation and instability for Jamie all over again. At the time Ted was giving Jamie his little speech about it (which he based on an extremely different situation with his own mother in his own life, mind you), he was completely unaware James Sr was even in rehab, and it was actually dangerous (imo) to Jamie, mentally and physically, for him to have given the advice that he did.

Basically, I think Ted's words were well meaning but ultimately very misguided, the actions we see Jamie taking as a result do make sense for the character's state of mind but not necessarily for his well being, and if Jamie would like to give his father another chance it is fully his decision and right to do so. But the storyline wasn't given the time nor care nor complexity that sort of story absolutely requires in order to be done well. And the fact that Jamie leaps in full-force on it without onscreen evidence of him getting any input on the matter from anyone in his life apart from one (questionable) conversation with Ted does not exactly instill confidence in me that the situation ends happily tied up in the bow of father-son reconciliation the show surface-level portrays it to be.

#jamie tartt #ted lasso #tw child abuse #ted lasso meta #i'm saying the exact same shit i was saying when the episode aired I know lol #yes I have run out of new things to say about this show #but I'm also soooo riled up about this again today #it was such a bad way to handle that storyline im sorry

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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Aita for making my friends drop another friend completely?

Warning: There is mention of suicidal thoughts. Also I swear a lot, I apologize.

This is some dumb discord drama but I feel like an utter asshole for this despite multiple people say I wasn't in the wrong and others saying that the friend group shouldn't had known about the situation and I shouldn't had forced this onto them.

And I been around here a lot, please don't excuse any behavior taken here as "You guys are young" or "You guys are kids." You will understand later as why but a lot of things that happened shouldn't be excused and that involves some of my behavior. And no, I am not doing a TL;DR.

There is a lot of pre-context so I will bold where the situation I'm talking about starts.

So me (17, he/they) and a few friends had created a server to get away from people in another server. We had really 1 rule which was "what happens in the server, stays in the server". This hangout server became a vent server very soon as a lot of us have issues that we just can't see a therapist for and use each other.

We had an issue with this one friend, let's name him Owl (14, M). Owl had been way to relaxed and some of the stuff he had said began to lead to fights within the friend group. He and another Jojo (15, M) were making jokes about each other, which were taken too far. Owl could had stopped it way before by stating that the jokes were too far but despite he had started it. He texted Jojo about their biggest insecurity in the form of "imagine having [insecurity]" and then hell broke lose. Owl knew Jojo was insecure about this because they talked and vented to each other privately, so for Owl to do that was shitty and a red flag that we didn't catch at the time, mainly because Jojo didn't tell any of us what was said till after the dropping. This was only one out of seven conflicts we would have with him before we got fed up. I will not go through all 7 but I will go through the ones that led to us removing him from the group.

I, Owl and a few others of us were playing a game on. I was very stressed and stated that beforehand and wanted to game to cool off. This was around the time that the Supreme Court made their decisions which added to my stress. I cannot remember what comment he made but my stress hit a peak and I blew up at him, possibly a joke about rights (trans rights) which is a touchy subject for me (it isn't out of his character). At this point I was having a breakdown on call and he didn't realize despite the fact it was clear through abnormal behaviors. Owl had also been around be in a breakdown beforehand, so I don't know how he didn't know. During breakdowns my voice becomes shaky and cracks, I speak very fast and make irrational decisions. Our other friends picked up on that and tried to deescalate the situations but Owl kept going and adding conflict until I removed him from the call (because both of us had admin powers). After a while I had gotten Jojo involved out of sheer panic and trying to get out of a conflict while not thinking rationally. After a while I rejoined call, Owl was gaming like nothing happened and I cried on mute due to the breakdown. Why I rejoined call? I don't know. Jojo pulled us to the side and talked about how he didn't want any more conflicts and that we would have our perms removed, Owl was informed that the breakdown happened and what he did made it worse, he didn't apologize for it at all.

The final situation we had with him before we dropped him was between Me, Owl, Jojo and Ark (Doesn't want age to be stated, M). Owl had lost all ways to communicate on call because of a dumb action he did that caused panic to another member (reading a classified document that another person found on Bing after being told to stop). He was clearly upset and during the mix Jojo had gotten a suicidal thought but Owl had encouraged his thoughts saying shit like "Why wait? Your life of pointless". Ark stepped in and bashed Owl for this behavior and the two got into a fight before we banned Owl.

Owl let the situation drag for 5 days as he didn't try to fix what had happened or apologized for any action he done up to that point unless the entire group was against him. The some of us got together and decided a last resort plan, we would stage an intervention and give him 3-5 days (which is being nice) to fix his shit or he would be dropped. We invited him to another server and we have the intervention there. He took a while to join, nearly 40 minutes. He was informed how important it was 20 minutes in and took another 20 to join. After that he refused to join call, which I understand but it was more so, he didn't want to because he saw no reason. I told him why, he got upset at the fact we were timing him. We had the mentality that he was on our time as he did waste 5 days not doing anything but letting the situation just hang. Me and him got into it and he said he didn't care about any of our friendships (even those not there) and he wouldn't mind being dropped if we were going to pressure him to apologize for things that here his faults and try to make amends.

We dropped him however I made the choice of informing others who weren't in on the plan and told them to drop Owl. This also meant Owl could not come to America to get his dream job which requires 11 years of training because he was dropped but not only Me, who would bring him to the states and house him, but also the person who was help pitch in for his college payments and student debt. I feel bad about informing everyone about what he had said and how he acted, which included people who had no idea what was going in the background. There were people coming back who hadn't been online this entire time and being told to get rid of him. I just feel like I shouldn't had forced that decision on them, especially as a person who had been dropped by an entire friend group like that. But we been doing a lot better without him and we try not mention the situation but as time has gone on, I feel more and more terrible at the fact I put other people involved and had them remove all contact to him instead of letting them decide.

Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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snitchesnsneeds · 2 months

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After too much stalling, I finally finished the other half of Miraculous Season 2. Here's my thoughts episode-by-episode:

Zombizou: The episode focused on Ms. Bustier. Honestly I get where she's coming from in that statement to Marinette. This is a world where people can become butt-ugly abominations because they felt upset, although I think Chloe still needs consequences for her actions as well as something like positive reinforcement. She had plenty consequences in season 1. Speaking of Chloe, That Asshole was wrong. There was clear intent for Chloedemption. Also could we at least have seen all that stuff Ms. Bustier does in previous episodes?

Syren: This was an episode the salters talked loads about, and honestly, I get where Adrien's coming from here. On a fundamental level the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculi aren't equals due to the Ladybug's magic reset button, but as one of the first Miraculous users, Adrien should've still been let in on the loop. Kid felt like he was useless, that Ladybug could save the day without his help. At the very least have Master Fu go one-on-one or have both kids show up while transformed or blindfolded. Also the water voices ticked me off, but that's relatively minor.

Frightningale: A fun character-of-the-week episode, especially since I'm fond of Clara Nightingale's constant rhymes and rhythm. She's dedicated to it and I love it. It's also good to see Chloe be an exceptional and talented dancer! It's good to see her having talents and interests that aren't just making people suffer!

Troublemaker: Another episode showing why I think Marinette and Adrien shouldn't date in any of their forms. I don't know enough about stalker shrines but I think Marinette's room is getting close enough to be one for Adrien. Though I'm pretty sure Adrien's seen worse or has been conditioned to not care, based on his reaction at the end. Still a shame that the local TV show had to live-film Marinette's room and beach her privacy in the local city-town of Paris while the real Paris has been converted to an amusement park for tourists. You got any other reasons why the population is so low? One more thing: I'm pretty sure the lack of ladybug-vision was more due to anxiety over losing one of her earrings and the difficulty of the villain more than anything else.

Anansi: I find the new heroes good, personally. They give more screentime to other characters. Also again with Adrien's insecurity about being useful. And I think this episode would've been over sooner if they noticed that Anansi was going to get herself akumatized over the stress and maybe just let her come or something. Or if they got Marinette to arm-wrestle her instead. Marinette has muscles, right?

Sandboy: A lore episode, mostly. The nightmares were funny for a second and I was a bit annoyed by the Akuma's voice, but that's small potatoes. I like how compared to season 1, where we would be given a bunch of development for Sandboy it's just explained to us afterwards while we instead get more time for lore.

Style Queen: Hawkmoth has a contender for the most evil character in the show. Audrey Bourgeois is the kind of person that would be made fun of in those Karen freakout videos. She cheats on her husband, neglects her daughter to the point of not remembering her name, fires people over the most minor inconveniences, and starts G-rated killing people over getting a seat in the second row. She needs to be cancelled, deplatformed, and Chloe needs a therapist and better role models. I really liked the split-second of Adrien looking shocked after Marinette told him he had the catwalk down, btw. Did he think his identity was outed there?

Queen Wasp: This is why teenagers shouldn't get superpowers. I get secondhand embarrassment watching them. Also Marinette What The Fuck why the Hell are you getting Chloe to bond with the Absolute Worst Person For Her

Maledictator: This is what happens when you make Chloe bond with a Chernobyl-level toxic influence, Marinette. In general this episode was funny, both intentionally and unintentionally. Everyone starts celebrating Chloe ditching Paris with her mother except Adrien because Chloe was her only friend even though she was a detriment to everyone else and suddenly Marinette feels bad because she worships Adrien. The first thing the villain of the week does is make Audrey stop being such a horrible person and later he made Chat Noir reach the limit of catboyness. It's like a Smiling Friends episode. Also it was cool to see Chloe's depths and self-loathing. Surely that won't be forgotten and Chloe will be given therapy so she can become a better person, right?

Reverser (Put here so it makes sense timeline-wise): It's Yaoi time. Except that Nathaniel is into Ladybug (who I assume he knows is Marinette) here and Marc is fine with that. Overall a good episode. Some nice humor, and Reverser's probably the best akuma design so far I love the paper stuff. Plus more info on the side characters and a spot of good humor, excellent!

Frozer: Ah, there's the Nathmarc. And explicit Julerose. And Marinette getting some idea that her fantasy of Adrien is unhealthy and shouldn't be followed. And Adrigami, albeit a bit one-sided. Quit pining over someone who doesn't love you and get with someone who does, kid. And a smidgeon of Marigami. And Adrien's bodyguard being his daddy in place of his father. And a pinch of me seeing what the salters were talking about with the girlsquad and them forcing Marinette and Adrien together. Or at least Alya and Mylene. I couldn't hear what Alix, Juleka, and Rose were saying, but they disagreed, right? At least one of them had to disagree, right?

Heroes' Day Two-Parter: Marinette you're being too hotheaded against Lila no you gotta be like Columbo. Also yet another Marinette Costanza moment. Otherwise not much to say here. It's the boss rush episode, it's the series finale, Alya managed to catch onto Nino being Carapace but still can't seem to connect the dots between Ladybug and Marinette, the Peacock Miraculous is introduced, and Natalie is on my suslist.

I might procrastinate again on the first half of season 3. The first episode deserves a post of it's own. It's the salt episode.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous marinette #adrien agreste #miraculous adrien #ml salt #chloe bourgeois #miraculous chloe #alya cesaire #miraculous alya #miraculous #lukanette #adrigami #nathmarc

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faetaiity · 1 year

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Can I leave a request? If your not doing requests that fine, you can do this later. Or not at all.

Rottmnt, Reader, (specifically, male pls) who has problems with being happy, or being content with himself. Where sometimes reader doesn't leave his house because of it, and the turtles check on him once in a while.

Donatello, checks on him and reader is crying on the floor, donnie isn't good with emotions and he stands there shocked and scared. Reader notice and apologies for acting like a child.

Donnie stays a little longer then usually and talks with reader about it.

Do your own twist with it if you'd like.

Have a good day !

I relate to this a lot as someone with Major Depressive Disorder (aka Clinical Depression) Holy fUCK- This is gonna be very much a self-indulgent post. This might not follow the ask 100% and I'm sorry /gen Can be taken as Romantic or Platonic.

Rise! Donatello x Male! Depressed! Reader

Post Format: 90% Story and 10% HCs

CW/TW: Crying, Mentions of a lack of self-care/hygiene, Depression-related issues, Implications(?) of Self-hatred/Low Self-esteem

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Turtles in general are very caring friends, often checking up on you, Casey, April and Cassandra.

However, you are checked up on more, due to your sudden and out of the blue behavior at times.

Usually, all four check up on you, but sometimes it's just one or two

You can't really tell who you see the most, if someone comes alone to visit you, chances are you'll see the others separate or together in a few hours.

~~~~♡♡♡♡~~~~

It's been a day or two since you've last met with the turtles, you miss them a lot but can't handle the idea of talking to them, at some point Mikey or Raph will ask you what was wrong, and you stress over the idea of being honest with them about it.

You've managed to skate by on telling them not to worry about it, but you have a feeling it won't work this time, so you (stupidly) prolong the inevitable and dreadful conversation about your emotions and issues.

Sighing, you make your way to your bathroom with a bundle of clothes in your hands, hoping the hygienic care would uplift your mood, it's worked a few times before, why not try it again now? and even if it doesn't, at least you've showered once since this depressive episode hit.

(Time-skip bc I actually kinda spaced out while writing and forgot that I would have to talk/have details abt reader showering, which is rlly weird, sorry abt that lmao)

You make your way to your bed, hair dripping wet, but you couldn't care less. You just want to cry, the shower didn't help as much as you hoped and now, you're just cold, tired, and sad.

Flopping onto your bed, you feel tears roll down your face, a rare moment as it's difficult for you to actually cry, but you try to let it happen, to not internalize your emotional turmoil like your therapist said, the feeling of tears rolling down your face was unfamiliar and odd, but not unwelcome.

Hearing the knock on your bedroom window about a minute or two after you began crying was deeply unsettling, you'd rather die than have Raph or gods forbid Dr. Feelings, enter and see you sobbing.

The knocking ceased after a few minutes, you've continued crying but not at the loud and fast pace you were at before the knocks began. You wait a couple seconds, sniffling and panting quietly as you try to hear if they've walked away or not, flinching when you hear the lock fiddle and unlatch, giving you the hint that the Turtle entering is Donnie, as you've only seen him lockpick doors and windows.

You hear the window open and see him slowly enter your bedroom, he looks around before spotting you on the bed, he stares at you for a while, seemingly unnerved by the tears streaming down your face, after several seconds or so of staring, he slowly and cautiously makes his way over to you, he stops by your legs and sits on the floor, his battle shell up against your bed.

You stare at him tiredly; you've stopped crying by this point, as you have always felt self-conscious about crying around other people, seeing yourself as an ugly crier.

He doesn't say anything for a few minutes, he looks at the floor, his facial expression giving away his confusion, he's raking through his mind trying to figure out a way to comfort someone he deeply cares about before-

"I'm sorry" you croak out, throat sore from crying, he stares at you incredulously.

"For what?"

"Crying, I know that makes you uncomfortable, I won't blame you if you leave, just don't tell Mikey or Raph, okay? If you feel like you have to send someone, send Leo... please." you mumble, feeling awkward and ashamed about this whole situation.

He looks at you sadly, getting up from his seated position on the floor, you assume he's about to leave, but he slowly gets on the bed, his knees near your stomach as he awkwardly attempts to hug you, you freeze for a moment, knowing how touch adverse he can be at times, before timidly hugging him back, making sure not to touch certain areas that make him uncomfortable.

"You don't have to hug me, I know it makes you-" "It's fine, I wouldn't hug you if I didn't want to." he interrupted, you don't protest after he said that, you two stay like this for a bit before he lets go, he sits up and sighs, hoping that his words comfort you.

"I really care about you, Y/N, I'm sorry I don't visit as much as my brothers, and I'm sorry I came off as cold when I first came over, I just.... Don't know how to approach these things, I'm not the best at words but if you want to talk about it, I'll gladly listen."

You look at him for a few seconds, unsure of if you could even talk about it, but ultimately, you nod.

~~~~♡♡♡♡~~~~

After that incident, he's visited you more often, even when you're doing just fine.

He never spoke about your issues to his brothers, and so far, he plans to never speak about it with them until you're comfortable.

It's difficult for both of you, especially if you're also autistic and/or have alexithymia, but with effort from both of you, you made it work.

He's trying his best and you appreciate/love him for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Augh, sorry that the end is more open to interpretation, I wanted people to be able to put their own issues and problems there

Sorry I've been gone for a hot minute; shit's been happening and I'm just.... tired, emotionally and physically

Hopefully I can finish another ask within the next week or so, I already have the idea lined out for one.

#chaotic gremlin fae #fae rambling #fae rambles #rottmnt headcanons #rottmnt x male reader #rottmnt x reader #donnie x reader #rottmnt #donatello #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles x reader #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rottmnt #tmnt x male reader #tmnt x reader

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keezybees · 4 months

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Hi! I follow you across social media and I really love your art and am super looking forward to reading Hello Sunshine! I wanted to reach out because I'm also Bipolar and I really appreciate the work you do to spread awareness about it but there's something that I find kind of harmful in how you talk about it, and it's just the insistance that it absolutely can't be treated through non-medical means. I fully understand that meds are life-saving and that depending on the severity of symptoms, length, and frequency of episodes, going without medication can be lethal. However, as someone with Bipolar I but controlled symptoms (and frankly symptoms that seem a lot less disruptive than yours, I'm sorry), hearing that there's no path forward without medication would easily have triggered suicidal thoughts when I was younger. There are a lot of reasons why people can't be medicated (for me it was a combination of family control and financial struggle), but hearing at your lowest that there's no way forward without something that you can't have is really damaging. I think it's totally possible to stress the importance of medical access and the need to work with your medical provider without erasing the ways that non-medical treatments can also be life-saving, depending on a person's situation/symptoms/etc and that some people can live full lives even if their symptoms aren't fully controlled. Anyway, I love your work and I just wanted to raise this alternate perspective because I think you're helping a lot of people, but I also think a lot of people can be harmed by this rhetoric, especially marginalized people who can't seek medication for any number of factors beyond their control.

Hi Anon! I totally hear what you're saying, and so I just wanted to run through a few things to clarify my stance, both for you and for others who might be reading this (omg I am SO sorry this is so long though haha):

I do emphasize treatment a lot, because I think it's really important for people to work with professionals to find ways to manage their illness. This is partly due to my own experience (I avoided treatment for a looong time) and anecdotally, but also because the research we have is pretty clear--untreated bipolar has much, much worse outcomes for a vast majority of people. However! When I say treatment, I don't necessarily mean medication, and certainly not only medication! I absolutely think some people (though it is sadly rare) can find ways of managing their illness medication-free. I just feel that it's best to do this work with the help of professionals + peers (whether that's a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, social worker, support group, etc) who can help you find your way, and help you manage symptoms that do crop up (this is especially true if you're currently on medication and choosing to go off of it, since that can come with physical risks). I could definitely stand to make this distinction a lot clearer though, and I'll try to be more mindful of it in the future.

I also can definitely see how my words could imply that I think non-medication ways of treating bipolar aren't valuable, and I'll work on my phrasing going forward, because they absolutely are! My aim is not to dismiss stuff like self-help or lifestyle changes or meditation or exercise, because I think they're great--for example, that kind of stuff has helped a ton with my anxiety and overall quality of life, and I know for a lot of people they help with their bipolar symptoms. But for me, these things simply don't have much of an impact on the bipolar, and our culture's emphasis on them frustrates me because it prevented me from getting proper care for a very long time, and made me feel like a failure for not being able to control my symptoms despite working so hard. So I'll also try to be more clear in the future about whether I'm venting about my own situation vs speaking broadly.

I also definitely hope I've never said anything that implies that our symptoms are inevitably life-ruining! My symptoms aren't completely controlled (particularly my lows), either, and I like to think I live a pretty good life. I think for many people un-treated bipolar can be life-ruining, and I've just heard too many stories about people who thought they could manage on their own only to have an absolutely devastating manic episode to not warn people of the risk. But most of us will continue to experience some degree of symptoms throughout our lives, absolutely.

I totally understand why someone would want to go med-free, or at least try it, and I in no way think the medications we have now are flawless haha. Side effects are awful, life-changing, and can even be life-threatening (I've had some horrible experiences with side effects myself); the meds we have now aren't very effective against depressive episodes for a lot of people (myself included), and for some people they're not effective at all; meds for most people don't completely eradicate symptoms, etc. I'm fully on board with the med struggle, and I honestly spend a lot of time criticizing the options available to us, though less so publicly, since I don't want to further stigmatize the idea of taking psych meds in general!

One of the reasons I emphasize medication (when I do emphasize meds, specifically) is because when I was younger, I was terrified of even the idea of them. I avoided it for years and really, really suffered because of it. I think our culture does in general look down on psych meds, particularly the kind we usually take, so I'm trying to destigmatize the concept of them, and emphasize for people with similar fears that taking meds can be just as life-saving and healing as they are harmful and frustrating, and that it's at least worth trying.

I'm a YA cartoonist (and former teacher, barista at a youth coffeehouse, tutor, I worked for a kids' gaming website...actually all of my jobs apart from dishwashing have involved kids, now that I think of it lmao), so a lot of the time when I'm talking about this stuff on social media, my target audience is sort of...very young people and kids who think they have bipolar (or may have even been diagnosed) but are afraid to seek help and/or don't think they need help and/or don't think help is going to actually help. So my goal is to demystify and normalize the idea of taking meds and/or seeking treatment for those people, and to emphasize that just because they're able to manage their illness now, that might change in the future, and imo they need to be aware of the very real risks, which includes things like an incredibly high suicide rate for unmedicated individuals, and the reality that the illness can be progressive (episodes can get worse and harder to treat the more you have them--they certainly did for me, and I wish I had been more open to the idea much earlier).

On a similar note, it's also important to recognize that a lot of things can look like bipolar, and a lot of people don't really know what bipolar actually looks like to begin with (particularly if you're getting your info from tiktok or similar). So if you've self-diagnosed and never explored treatment options (emphasis on options!) you can easily be missing stuff like thyroid issues, epilepsy, brain tumors, vitamin deficiencies, or a myriad of other treatable mental illnesses that mimic bipolar, and I strongly believe that people deserve care and help for whatever they're struggling with, including the possibility that it isn't bipolar at all!

Finally, I truly hope I've never said anything that comes off like I'm looking down on or judging people who choose to not be medicated for whatever reason! If it works for you then that's phenomenal (I'm jealous tbh) but it's honestly none of my business haha. When I talk about this stuff I do try to stress most people, because we're of course not a monolith, and when I say something like 'a majority of people with bipolar will need some form of medication to flourish' I don't mean to dismiss those who aren't in that majority. It's more that I want people to be open to the idea that they're not failures for needing meds, that they're actually in very good company, as well as to combat the 'just meditate! or try harder!' narrative that's so prevalent in our culture.

Edit: one last thought, which is that part of my target audience is also parents or guardians whose kids might be struggling--kids are obviously the group with the least access to treatment on their own terms. My hope is that talking about my experiences and discussing the risks will help motivate guardians to get help for their kids, and also help motivate kids to seek their own treatment as soon as they're able. Most people develop bipolar in their late teens and early 20s (though my first hypomanic ep was at 16), so it's a relatively small percentage of folks in this situation, but I do see how a kid whose parents aren't willing to help them could take my words badly, so I'll try to keep that in mind!

I'm definitely going to be more careful about how I phrase things going forward, because I can absolutely see how my intent could be lost. Hopefully this clears things up a bit (although it's also possible that we simply disagree, and I think that's okay too--like I said, our community is not a monolith, and a lot of these conversations are fundamentally ongoing)!

tldr; I'll make an effort to watch my words so that it's clear that my target audience really isn't my bipolar peers, and that the target of my criticisms is anti-medication wellness culture + psych med stigma, not the concept of non-medication alternatives or additions in general. And I'll try to do a better job of highlighting when I'm speaking only for myself vs our community as a whole!

#once again i am so sorry this is so long #i just felt your message was really heartfelt and thoughtful and i want to make sure i respond in kind #!#bipolar #bipolar disorder #mental illness #replies

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