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peterparkersnose · 1 year

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I Fall In Love Too Fast

Part 2 to ‘Jealousy, Jealousy’

pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

word count: 6.2k (I fed you guys well!)

warnings: implied age gap, carrot penis reference if you squint, Y/N is a greenhouse girlie, mutual pining, use of y/n, fluff, alcohol consumption, mentions of sex, mentions of pregnancy, borderline bullying, stalking, attempting break in, violence, angst, description of blood (sort of), consensual cuddling, joel can’t tell his veggies apart (edited sort of)

a/n shaking rn i need to see cocaine bear asap

summary Y/N and Joel have an unlikely meeting in Jackson’s greenhouse.

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read time: 22 mins 43 seconds

The low hums of the generator filled your ears. The greenhouse could be very peaceful at times. Something you couldn’t explain drew you to the plants. Ever since you were a child, your friends from the old QZ you grew up in would always question why you would rather read the old book about botany you found than play tag.

When you were presented with the opportunity of working in the greenhouse in Jackson, you were more than happy to accept the position. All the vegetation calmed you for some reason. It was a sense of control in this crazy world. It was almost like it was normal inside that tented space.

After a few years of living in Jackson, Maria decided to appoint you as head greenhouse keeper. You had proved your success throughout the years, the vegetation grew by over 35% (according to Maria, stats were never your thing).

It had been a few days since you had seen Joel. It was a quick, longing goodbye early in the morning. He wanted to make sure you were home before Bradley would have to wake up. The thought of your… ex? You weren’t even quite sure yet. But the thought of him made you want to vomit. And the thought of Joel made you feel… well, safe.

The music coming from your walkman began to skip. The old CD player was old in the time cordyceps started, but nevertheless it trudged on through the pandemic. CD’s were rare, but they were often traded in the community. Currently, Frank Sinatra’s greatest hits skipped through your headphones. Ellie’s CD, presumably from Joel. You didn’t take Ellie for a big Sinatra fan. The thought of having something of his with you made the music just a little bit sweeter.

The song “I Fall In Love Too Easily” began to play clearly through the headphones. You had the headphone jack placed in just the right angle. Ignoring everything else in the world, you swayed to the music slowly as you were washing off the carrots in the sink. As the song continued, you began to hum along with the tune. The song was new to you; the lyrics weren’t mastered in your brain yet.

***

Joel trudged down the muddy streets of Jackson. Tommy and Maria were having a get together that night, and he stupidly agreed to help. Maria requested him to go to the greenhouse to pick up some produce. After Maria’s pushing and adamancy, Joel finally agreed to go. He was suspicious on why he had to go and why Maria just couldn’t go herself, but he decided to leave the possible argument alone and just do what he was told. He wanted to stay back and help Tommy with the roast anyways. That was his specialty. Back in Texas, Joel would make the best damn barbecue in the neighborhood.

Hell, he had never even had to go to the greenhouse before. He was perfectly content on living off of canned beans and coffee. And it was Sunday; the one day everyone had off. The greenhouse was sure to be abandoned, meaning he would have to forage for the produce himself. Did he know the difference between a zucchini and a cucumber? Hell no. Not even when life wasn’t shit he couldn’t figure that out.

Maria smirked as herself and Tommy watched Joel slump down the street. Joel was reading off the slip of paper Maria had written down directions on to the greenhouse. “The only person crazy enough to be workin’ on a Sunday is Y/N, if anyone is there.” Tommy said. “Why do you think I sent him?”

They both gave each other conniving looks.

“You saw the way he acted at the Tipsy Bison earlier this week,” Maria said, sucking her teeth and turning around to tend to her stew. “Don’t you want him to be happy?” She called back to Tommy. He shook his head at his wife’s antics and returned to the roast.

***

Joel let out a scoff as he realized he knew exactly where he was going. The big, white tent that sat on the edge of Jackson. Embarrassingly, he made his way towards the big landmark he mistakenly used to take for a medical ward. To his surprise, the lights were on.

Joel gave the door a few knocks before he opened it, not to freak out the possible worker who could have been behind the door. He quietly slipped in. He brushed some of the mud off his boots as he opened the second door.

A rush of heat hit his face. His eyes scoured the large facility in look for a person. And right then is why he realized Maria was so damn adamant about him going to the greenhouse.

Your hair was tied up like it was the night you stayed at his house. He recognized the flannel you had on as his own. Your jeans and boots were a classic look that almost every woman had around town. What he didn’t expect was the headphones and walkman clipped to your jeans.

Soft humms came from you. Joel was feeling conflicted; his ego couldn’t allow him to feel this way about you. But the way you do gracefully moved your hips and cleaned those carrots drove him nuts. The thought of you in his kitchen, the two of you cooking together brought warmth to the bitter man’s heart.

Bringing himself back to reality, he looked at the list Maria had scratched down for him. Maybe you could help him find a… butternut squash? He didn’t know there was more than one type of squash.

He stood in the entrance and waited for you to notice him; but you never did. You were so invested in that little sink that you never bothered to look his way. Joel took a deep breath, realizing he was going to have to get your attention.

The fearless man began to tremble with anxiety. He cautiously walked over stray hoses and tried to keep his footsteps on the louder side, so you could maybe hear he was coming.

You yelped as he tapped your shoulder. The carrot you were holding in your hand fell into the sink.

“I’m sorry I-”

“Oh thank god, it’s just you.” you said out of breathe, holding your hand to your chest. “Scared the shit out of me,”

The music played through the headphones as you wrapped the cord loosely around your neck. It played long enough for Joel to recognize the song.

“Sinatra?” he asked, your music taste peaking his interest. You clipped the walkman to your belt, it now rested against the black shirt you had his flannel loosely on top of. “Ellie loaned it to me,” you said, grabbing a towel and drying your hands.

“Must be mine then,” Joel tittered, nervously playing with the piece of paper in his grip. Your eyebrows raised in question, ignoring the confirmation of your previous theory. “I loaned it to her a few months back, thought she must’ve lost it but… I guess not.”

“Do you want it back? Here, you can…” you nervously said, struggling to get the walkman out of your belt loop. “Keep it, really. You seem to like it more than me.” he said, again. “Oh, I have this-” you said, beginning to strip the oversized flannel off your body. “Here,” you said, balling up the flannel and reaching it out to Joel. “Nah, it looks better on you than me. Trust me,” he said, awkwardly refusing the gift of his own belongings.

He could imagine drunk you saying “He said it looked better on me,” as you did a few nights ago in his bed when he called you ‘pretty girl’.

Why was he giving his things to you?

You wrapped the flannel around your waist. “What can I help you with?”

He outstretched the paper to you.

“Maria’s cookin’?” you asked, walking past Joel with the confidence that you knew where you were going. Obediently, he followed you.

“Some stew or something, she says it’s good but…” Joel said, sucking in air sharply. “Not so good?” you smirked, reaching a planter and looking up at him. He shook his head no but then said “It’s delicious,” in a forced, sarcastic tone.

You pulled out the first vegetable and handed it to Joel. Moving along, you moved to the next planter.

“Is that what your doin’ tonight?” you asked him, going through the pea pods trying to pick out the best ones. “Yup.”

He stood for a second in silence as he felt like something was missing. “Would you like to come?” he asked, praying Tommy wouldn’t kill him and Maria’s stew would taste better than it did last time.

Your heart sank because you already had plans. “I’m so sorry,” you began. Joel’s face turned bright red.

He was right. He was too old for all of this. You were just interested in being friends, maybe not even friends. He was so embarrassed, he was ready to go back in his house and never come out again.

“I promised Ellie and Dina I would come over tonight. Have a little sleepover, if you could call it that. Definitely need a rain check though, I would love to some other time.”

That damn kid stole his date.

“Oh, yeah. No worries.” he said, the rejection ruining his confidence.

“I mean it though, rain check.” you said, piling more veggies into his grasp. That built back some of his shattered rizz.

You made your way to the front of the greenhouse, getting ready for the last produce. Potatoes.

You chuckled as you looked behind you. Joel’s presence seemed to fall back. He was struggling to keep all the produce in his hands.

“Would you like a bag?” you asked, slowly moving towards the woven bags hanging on the wall. “Would be nice,” he awkwardly chuckled, grabbing a falling bunch of broccoli from his hands.

“Here,” you said, opening the bag in front of him as he layed everything in. “Shit,” he mumbled as a stray carrot stalk fell. You both bent down to retrieve it.

His hand accidentally layed on yours for a brief second. It should have been a minuscule moment, but time seemed to freeze. You looked up into his gaze as you both stood up, still both holding the carrot. You never wanted this moment to end.

“Potatoes?” Joel asked. Trapped in his gaze, you answered “Huh?”

“Don’t I need a few potatoes?”

You blinked a few times, bringing yourself back into reality. “Uh, yeah. Follow me.” you said, trying to calm your heavy breathing. You could almost feel your heartbeat pumping out of your chest.

The green tops of the potatoes reached out of the grass. Inspecting each top, you slowly and carefully made your decision. “You sure know what your doin’,” Joel commented as you looked up at him from the leaves. “Botany is my passion,”

“By the way your looking at those potato stems, I believe you.” “Maria’s stew has to be good this time. I can tell this one is a good one because of how thick the leaves are. The bugs haven’t gotten to it yet because it’s in the middle, you see. They are full grown, these are the ones planted around the spring. There full grown and…”

You looked up at Joel and found him with a sly smile. “I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“I like ramblin’. Could listen to it all day.”

He wanted to say he could listen to you all day; Even if all you talked about was potatoes.

“At least someone enjoys my rambling.”

Memories of Bradley point blank telling you to shut up because you were explaining how herbs could be used in medicine once plagued your mind. Then, the memory of his face bloodied scurrying on the bar floor replaced those. And you felt that warm feeling again, safe with Joel in the greenhouse.

Selecting the perfect one from the middle row, you began to pull. And pull some more. “God dammit,” you muttered to yourself. Giving up, you moved some of the dirt around the root.

“Can you help?” you asked kindly, as pulling on it one more time was unsuccessful. Joel placed the bag of produce down and moved to a different angle.

You expected them to pull out easily when he went for them, but he was struggling too. “What you do to ‘em?” he asked, wiping his hands off on his jeans. “Locked in or something,”

You angrily decided to try pulling again.

“Let me,” he said. To your surprise, his hands came to your shoulders to ease the suspense of touch. Then, he moved forward bringing you into his embrace. His hands rested below yours. Your shoulders matched up almost perfectly with his broad chest.

“Ready?” he asked, his voice sending chills down your spine. You could tell how warm he was, even with the heat of the greenhouse making the both of you sweat. His arms flexed on yours as he began to pull the potatoes up along with your grip. He pushed back and you followed his grip. Within a few seconds, the potatoes freed from the dirt and sent the two of you flying backwards.

You two landed back first on the dirt ground. The feeling of his arms were still around you, he was still holding you on the ground. He had let go of the potatoes and they were thrown down the isle.

The two of you burst out in laughter, staring at the ceiling of the greenhouse. You genuinely didn’t want to leave this moment; and neither did he.

“I totally loosened it for you.” you bragged, sitting up and looking down at him. One hand rested under his head, the other layed comfortably on his stomach. “Sure ya did.”

He took your hand as you helped him up. His knees cracked, and he prayed that you didn’t hear it. The two of you made your way to the washing station at the other end of the greenhouse.

“Potato,” you said in a stern tone. He placed one in your hand. “Brush,” you requested. He handed you the brush. You turned on the water and scrubbed the dirt off the potatoes. “Towel,”

“Yes ma’am.”

The two of you laughed as he played along into your antics. He was standing so close that his hips seemed to connect with yours. “Is that the last one?” he asked, drying off the fifth potato. “Unfortunately,” you sighed.

“Your welcome back any time to wrestle some potatoes again, if you’d like.” you said, following him to grab his original bag of produce. “Why don’t we take on the corn next week?” he asked, not wanting to leave. He just knew Maria would be bombarding him with questions about what took so long.

“It’s a date!” you said, mostly serious but in a joking manner.

Dina froze at the door. Ellie was making homemade pizza for that night and sent Dina to get some tomatoes. She was frozen, peeping through the door she watched. Dina had just gotten a front row viewing of you and Joel struggling with the potatoes, your awkward impromptu cuddle on the ground, and the romantic potato washing.

As Dina saw the two of you finishing your… encounter, she made her way quickly to the side of the building.

Ellie is going to love this.

***

“Ellie, your never going to believe-”

“Where are my tomatoes?” she asked, disappointedly. Dina burst into the kitchen of their small house frantically. “Forget the tomatoes, El. You’ll never guess what I just saw.”

“What, another stray cat? For the last time, no stray cats.”

“Joel and Y/N.” she said astonished. She took a place on one of the barstools next to the counter.

“What about them?”

“No- Ellie. Joel and Y/N, they were cuddling in the greenhouse.”

Ellie looked up from her dough she was making. “Dina, did you breathe in some outhouse gas?”

“No! I promise you. I was going to get the tomatoes, but they were just laying there. Then they got up and washed potatoes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone wash vegetables so… sensually before.”

“I think your bullshitting me. Who cuddles in a greenhouse?” Ellie questioned, turning around and looking through the pantry. “Old stuff is going to have to do,” she sighed, pulling the old can of marinara sauce out from the back of the pantry.

“I wonder…” Dina began. “You remember how I told you about Bradley,”

“You remember how much I want Tommy to banish him?” Ellie reminded Dina. “Joel knocked that dude out!” Dina exclaimed.

“Yeah, but that’s just Joel being Joel. I’m sure he would do it for any one of us.”

“He walked her home!” Dina complained. “Your going to tell me there’s nothing going on there?”

“I think we should wait and ask Y/N. Not make assumptions,” Ellie sighed, giving Dina the side eye.

“They’d be cute, that’s all I’m saying.”

***

The sun was at the end of setting, the sky was a deep purple. You noticed Joel’s boot marks in the mud and how big they were compared to your feet. “Damn,” you whispered to yourself, stepping in one of his prints. Another pair of prints seemed to circle around the greenhouse. They were similar in size to your feet and had a different shape then the bottom of your shoes.

Following the odd marks, they moved to the side of the greenhouse. And then made a straight line towards where you were going: Ellie and Dina’s house.

“Oh no,” you sighed, following either Ellie or Dina’s footprints. You prayed one of them didn’t see you with Joel.

You tried to imagine Ellie’s reaction to it. What would there to be mad about? You were just friends with Joel. Even though you had admitted to yourself he was just your passing patrol crush about a year ago, you were taking things slowly with this new found interest.

And he was older than you, there was that. Adults can make adult decisions, you reminded yourself. You and Joel were both adults that had experienced a lot in life, even though yours was a bit shorter than his.

Would Ellie be mad? Her… Joel and her best friend (besides Dina of course). You shoved the idea to the back of your mind as you knocked on their door.

Dinner had an odd vibe to it. Dina had already had a few too many glasses of wine, and you were avoiding the alcohol at all costs. The other night was enough for this week.

“Your not drinking?” Ellie asked, chewing down on her pizza. “Nah,” you said, briefly commenting.

“What, you pregnant?” Dina laughed, filling her wine glass up again. You almost choked on your pizza. “God Dina, no.” you chuckled. “I haven’t fucked Brad in… four months? I think I would know by now.”

“Gross!” Ellie cringed. “I’m trying to eat!”

“Sorry, sorry.” you jokefully apologized. “Anything… new? With you know, Bradley?” Dina asked. Something was up with her.

“Not since Joel kicked him on his ass,” you said.

Dina gave Ellie a strange look. “Yeah, I remember. Did he get you home alright that night?” Dina asked. You swallowed a bit of your pizza. “Mhm,”

You hated lying to your friends. Without the truth, you felt miserable. You wanted to tell them all about Joel and how you have been secretly borderline obsessed with him since that night, but word getting back to Joel might scare him off. And you didn’t want Ellie to freak out.

“Then how come I didn’t see your porch light on when I left with Maria?”

You froze in your seat.

“I’m just fucking with you,” Dina teased, pushing her hand into your arm. “You like him though, don’t you.”

Lying is one thing you were never good at. “He’s a nice man.”

“You like him though, don’t you?”

The lack of response and the quickening of your breathe didn’t help your case. “Dina,” Ellie said, stepping in to Dina’s drunken antics.

“He took you to his house, didn’t he?”

“I…”

The whole town of Jackson seemed more quiet than usual. Ellie looked at your face and could see the panic. Her eyebrows rose as her stare widened, watching you squirm in your seat at Dina’s question.

“Holy fuck! Did you fuck Joel?” Ellie asked, now realizing the reality in Dina’s games. She was right; Dina totally saw you two at the greenhouse.

“No! No.” you defended yourself. That was the truth at least. “I… I didn’t want Bradley coming around and…”

“Oh my god,” Ellie said, standing up from the table. “We’re just friends! He’s a nice man Ellie, you know that.”

“Then why did I see you two cuddling in the greenhouse today?” Dina muttered from behind her wine glass.

You sighed and buried your head in your hands. So the shoe prints belonged to Dina.

“Y/N.” Ellie said sternly, standing at her place at the table and crossing her arms. “Tell me the truth.”

You grabbed Dina’s wine glass and took a large gulp.

“I- I like him, okay? I think he’s handsome, and kind and considerate. Everything Bradley isn’t and everything I deserve.” you said angrily, getting out of your seat and slamming it back in the table.

“Dina, your a dick when your drunk.” you yelled, grabbing your coat and heading for the door as Dina giggled at her spot.

“Y/N,” Ellie said, grabbing your hand. She closed her eyes and took a long breathe. “Your being for real?” Ellie asked, her look turned more sincere.

“As real as a bite,” you sighed.

***

The three of you, now in pajamas, sat in Ellie and Dina’s bed. Dina was braiding your hair as Ellie layed flat on her back and stared at the ceiling.

“Y/N Miller,” Ellie said out of the blue. Your head whipped over to where she was sitting, pulling your braid Dina was working on. “Jesus, El. A little too soon for that? I doubt it even,” you giggled. “In this world?” Dina asked. “I can lend you my white dress. With the embroidered flowers?” Dina suggested.

The memory of her embroidering those last summer resurfaced. “It is awful pretty,”

“And I can do your hair, hold on.” Dina said, undoing the braid she had been working on.

You felt her hands begin to work. “I just don’t know if he likes me back…” you sighed.

“Y/N. I know Joel. He wouldn’t just lay on the dirt floor with anybody.” Ellie assured you. “He barely speaks to anyone in Jackson as it is,”

“Would he even say anything? If he liked me?”

“Jesus, Y/N. This isn’t high school. Just tell him.” Ellie teased, sitting up in bed. “I’ll talk to him. Work some of my magic-”

“You better not!” you seethed, giving Ellie a glare. “Don’t embarrass me!”

“Ta da!” Dina announced, finishing putting a pin in your hair. You jumped off the bed and moved to the mirror.

It was in a low bun with a few stray hairs framing your face. It was so effortless and so elegant. “Dina,” you gasped, carefully cupping the bun with your hand. “I can make it ten times better, but just a thought.”

“I love it,” you gasped. “If I ever get married, you two are in charge of the wedding.”

***

Joel ate awkwardly at the table with Maria and Tommy in silence. The only noise in the whole house was the scratching of silverware.

“How was the patrol? Yesterday.” Maria asked both Tommy and Joel. “Alright,” they both said in unison. They definitely were brothers, men of very few words.

“Any news on the power plant improvement?” Tommy asked Maria. “I had some guys there today. So nice, working on their Sunday off.” she added.

“You know who works on Sundays?”

Joel’s fork stopped moving.

“I hear Y/N is running the greenhouse real nice.” Tommy said, already knowing the answer to Maria’s question.

“How was she, Joel?”

Joel looked up at Maria with a side eye. “Fine.”

“They’ve got blueberries now! Damn blueberries, I haven’t had any since before this shit. They were good,” Tommy mused, reminiscing on the delicious fruit.

“She’s a good chef too,” Maria commented. “Made some amazing salad dressing for the winter party a few weeks ago. Did you try her cookies too?”

“I remember,” Tommy added. “She’s gonna make a real nice wife some day.”

Joel’s fist hit the table a little too hard as he set down his glass. Both Tommy and Maria looked at him shocked.

“You alright?” Tommy asked.

“Can we change the subject?” Joel asked bitterly. “Why so angry? What’d she ever do to you?” Tommy pushed. “Goddamit Tommy,” he yelled, shoving his chair in.

“Thanks for the wonderful meal, Maria.” he hissed, lying and abruptly leaving their house. The picture frame on the wall shook a bit as he slammed the door.

“He’s down bad.” Tommy laughed. Maria sighed, her hands rubbing her temples. “Why do the two of you always seem to ruin a good night?”

“Hey, I barely did anything.” Tommy resisted with his hands in a defensive pose. “You know he likes her. The sheer mention of her makes him leave.” Maria commented. “God, I hope those two idiots find each other again. I don’t know how much more I can take of this.” Tommy sighed, chewing away at his roast.

It was dark outside now. Joel could hear the whisps of the wind blow in the trees. Creepy if you’d ask him, but Joel wasn’t afraid of much anymore. Almost all the houses were dark; with the exception of a few porch lights.

He turned down the main street and looked at all the lights still on. Maria’s guys must have fixed the power plant, pls business signs were flooding the street with their light. He glanced up at Ellie and Dina’s apartment; it was over one of the textile shops in the downtown department. The lights were out besides the one outside the entrance.

He took a double take when he saw someone standing out there.

Moving closer, he recognized the crouched down figure trying to pick their lock.

Bradley.

He reached the bottom of the old metal staircase before making himself known. He cleared his throat loudly.

“What in the hell are you doing?”

Bradley recoiled in fear, dropping the pocketknife on the metal landing. “It’s not what it looks like- I swear it Mr. Miller.”

“Then what does it look like?” he asked, slowly walking up each step. “I-I… Y/N invited me over. You know, lighten up the time with them. T-they had left over food she said.”

Bradley’s cowardly tone made Joel smile. He cracked a few of his fingers, intimidating Bradley farther and farther.

Joel knew Ellie. There was no way she would ever have leftovers; let alone invite anyone besides Dina to share them.

“You got about five seconds to tell me why-”

Joel was older and tougher, but Bradley was sly. He jumped up, grabbing the knife he dropped and swiped at Joel’s face with it.

Joel quickly ducked as fast as he could and kneed him in the gut. Bradley let out a loud oomf as Joel grabbed both of his hands and held them behind his back. “Nice try,” he whispered in his ear.

Now behind Bradley, Joel gave him a rough push down the metal stairs and took great pleasure in watching him flail down.

Unfortunately, the front door flung open and he was met with a shot gun to his face. He sighed, waiting for Ellie to realize who it was.

She cautiously lowered the gun as she recognized Joel’s face in the dim light.

“I taught you too well,” Joel sighed, moving the barrel of the gun out of his range.

“What’s wrong?” Dina asked, peeking out from behind the wall. You weren’t far behind her, hopping on your tippy toes to see what the matter was.

“You fucking fuck!” Bradley yelled from the ground. He was rolling around, clutching his leg. “You broke my leg, you asshole!”

Ellie looked at Joel in confusion. “Caught your peepin’ Tom on my way home.”

Emerging from behind Dina, you recognized those two voices from anywhere.

“Joel?”

His eyes met yours.

“Y/N, I dunno if you wanna look.” Joel advised. Ellie stepped out of the way as you poked your head out the door. A small gasp came when you saw your ex laying on the concrete. “Bradley, what the fuck!” you yelled.

“Please, Y/N. Take me back, I promise to treat you better than that old, violent grandpa!” He yelled, still in a ball on the ground. Joel let out a small breath of air from his nose. ‘Grandpa is really the best you got?’ he thought to himself.

“Your fucking pathetic.” you called back down to him. “How did he know I was even here?” you said, turning around to ask Ellie. She shrugged. Your hands began to tremble. “Hey, hey.” Ellie said, recognizing the panic arising in you.

She gestured for Joel to come in. She flicked a lamp on as you sat on the couch. “I can go get Tommy and a few other guys, we can deal with him.” Joel suggested.

Ellie looked at you for confirmation. Your eyes darted from her to Joel and back to her. She knew what you needed in that time. You needed him.

“Let me and Dina go get Tommy. I doubt Brad is going anywhere anytime soon.”

Joel opened his mouth to resist, but then saw you shaking on the couch. He knew Ellie was more than capable of fucking this guy up, and he rather stay with you. Even if the fucking up of Bradley sounded oh, so appealing.

“Alright.” he nodded, watching the two girls pull on their coats.

“May I?” he asked, outstretching his hand referencing to the couch spot next to you. You nodded your head. He sat next to you, not touching you. Joel was unsure of how to approach this.

“Joel?” you asked, turning to look at him. Your breathing was shaky and your eyes were glossy. “Yes?”

Without his consent, you moved closer to him on the couch. Your thighs were touching. The need for him to hold you right then was strong.

Joel let out a sigh of relief as he took your invitation of affection. His arm wrapped around your shoulder. You found comfort in his body, cuddling in and moving your arms closer to your body as he held you.

“Everything is alright,” he re assured you, taking his thumb and started slowly running circles into your shoulder.

“I’m sorry about what he said.” you sighed. “What- the grandpa comment? Pfft,” Joel chuckled. Your body moved against his as he laughed. “Doesn’t even phase me.”

“Well, he’s wrong.” you said. Joel looked down at you. “About what?”

“There is no way he could treat me better than you.”

A soft smile rose to Joel’s mouth. He wished he could hold you like this every night. The sweet smell of the rationed out shampoo filled his senses as he took another deep breath.

“Your damn right,” Joel whispered, leaning down and placing a soft kiss to the top of your head. Your arm stretched along his torso, holding him tightly as the sounds of Bradley’s wails came from below.

***

At least an hour had passed. You had dozed off, leaving Joel alone in Ellie’s apartment. You were still connected to Joel at the hip, but your grip had loosened on his waist.

He looked down at you adoringly. He thought of almost every scenario as he waited for Ellie and Dina to return.

He had to ask you out. He wasn’t quite sure how, he figured Tommy could maybe give him some pointers. Or maybe Ellie, she seems to know what women like. And then dating you. He wanted to take you out to the fields outside of Jackson. A nice picnic maybe, you two could maybe bring some food from the greenhouse. He remembered how when he was a child he used to eat cucumber sandwiches (there better than they sound, trust me).

You could teach him the difference between a zucchini and a cucumber. You could be that balance in his life; something he had been searching for since he was a teenager.

He noticed your hair was in a falling out low messy bun. He imagined a veil coming out from it, and a luxurious white gown on you. Sure, he was getting ahead of himself. Little did he know you were discussing the topic of marriage just hours prior.

The fantasies about a lavish, non infected world wedding were diminished as Ellie and Dina made their way through the door.

“Shh,” Joel said, silencing their conversation.

“Aww,” Dina said, still a little tipsy from the night before.

“You should take her home. Bradley won’t be bothering her anymore.” Ellie said sternly. Joel noticed the bloodied knuckles on Ellie’s hand. Dina placed her baseball bat next to it’s resting place at the door.

“Hey,” Joel whispered, rubbing your shoulder. You groaned, holding him tighter. “Good morning,” you muttered. “Still night time, doll. Let’s get you home.”

You slowly woke up in Joel’s embrace. The scent of him sent you back to the first night you spent in his bed. “You wanna go home?” he asked you again. “No,” you protested.

“I’m sober,”

Joel looked at you in confusion. “Remember? ‘Talk to me when your sober’, or something like that?”

The memory clicked in Joel’s mind.

“I want to stay with you.”

Joel couldn’t resist. He helped you up from the couch. He grabbed your jacket from the coat rack and helped you put your arms through your sleeves.

“Is that a yes?” you asked him as he silently closed Ellie and Dina’s door. He sighed. “Sure,”

Walking hand and hand down the abandoned street, you began to humm the Frank Sinatra song from earlier that day. Joel listened to your sweet tune the whole way home.

As you reached his house, you kept the tune going again and again. Joel led you to his bedroom with his hand in yours. His alarm clock read a little after three.

“Get comfy,” he said, throwing his jacket in the corner. You dropped your jacket, leaving it by the bedroom door with your boots. All that was left was your jeans and your black tank top.

“You don’t care if I slip into something more comfortable, do you?” he asked. “Not at all.”

Joel stared at you awkwardly. “You want me to go to the bathroom or…”

“It’s your house. I don’t mind,” you said, boldly sliding off your jeans and kicking them into your pile. Your gray underwear was left on as you sat on the edge of his bed.

“Alright,” he chuckled, adoring your boldness. His pants came off and hit the ground with a thud. His heavy belt buckle made the noise. He opened a drawer and took out a pair of red flannel pajama pants.

“Look! They match the flannel,” you exclaimed.

He turned around, completely enamored by you. Your excitement, your pep, and everything else about you was just what he was lacking in his life. For the first time in years, Joel felt himself feel genuinely happy. It was scary for him, but he was ready to let go.

“Can I just say…” he said, walking up to you sitting on his bed. His right hand slowly cupped your left cheek. His thumb slowly, softly ran across your cheek. “You really do look better in the flannel in than me.”

He slowly bent down, giving you enough time to resist. To his surprise, you began to rise off the bed and connected your lips with his. Rising off the bed, you continued the kiss as you both took a few steps. His hand reached around your waist, finding a comfy spot on the bottom of your back. Your hands had moved to his hair, slowly playing with the locks in your fingers.

“I’ve been waiting for you to do that,” you smiled, still in his embrace.

Joel’s body melted into yours. “I… I really…” he struggled to say. “‘I really’ you too,” you said, expressing to him that it was okay to be afraid. But you were there, and was ready for anything at any pace. His soft eyes seemed relieved at the confirmation of the now mutual feelings.

“Let’s get some sleep, hm?” you asked, sitting back down on the bed and breaking from his embrace.

His body held yours. Joel’s arms protectively kept you in his embrace. The four legs intertwined and kept each other warm underneath the blanket. You pushed into his figure, making yourself feel more secure than ever.

As he held you in bed, the tune began to sing again in your head. In a before sleep epiphany, you remembered the lyrics.

“But I still fall in love too easy, I fall in love too fast,” you whispered. Joel’s head burrowed in the nape of your neck. A tiny kiss was placed there in confirmation of what he had just heard.

Happiness consumed the both of you.

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25 @rosie0611 @vivalasv3gan

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happyyyandcrazyyy · 2 years

Text

three taps (kaz brekker x reader)

summary: kaz taps three times. it’s his way to say i love you, i care.

the three times it took jesper to realize that three taps were something more than a meaningless habit.

warnings: violence, blood, implied se*ual as*ault (not detailed at all and very brief)

a/n: did i write this in less than a day? yes. did the inspiration come to me at six am? also yes. what about your other 50 wip, anna? did you write anything for them? nope.

hope you enjoyed reading this one as much as i enjoyed writing it <3

i. tap, tap, tap

Jesper had seen him do it more times than he could count. It was Kaz’s thing. Three taps, index finger hitting a wooden table, thumb brushing against a map or cane harshly meeting the floor. Most times they were fast taps, like a subconscious action, coming and going before anyone could give it any mind. Other times, however, they were slower, more emphasized, as if trying to make a point. Jesper was used to the taps, as he imagined (Y/N) and Inej also were. The sound came prior to every heist, prior to pronouncing the words of luck (no mourners, no funerals).

It was Kaz’s habit, something he probably did without even realizing, and Jesper couldn’t help but find it oddly comforting, a routine that somehow eased his nerves. (The world could be going to war, Ketterdam could be crashing down in flames, and Kaz would still tap three times. There was a sense of safety in that.)

It wasn’t until Jesper had a closer look that he realized the action was perhaps not as meaningless as he believed.

ii. cane meets ground three times: come back to me, i’m here

(Y/N) had known Kaz the longest out of all of them. Jesper hadn’t known the Slat without her, he hadn’t known Kaz without her. She’d always been there, a person in which the Dregs often found solace and always obtained an ear to listen without judgment. (Y/N) was a walking contradiction, soft around the edges yet powerful enough to bring the toughest people to their knees. She was everything Kaz wasn’t, maybe that was the reason they complimented each other as well as they did.

In a place where kindness was rewarded with death (Y/N) was unusually good-natured. Stray kids in the Barrel knew to find her if they were ever in urgent need of food or shelter. To outsiders she might’ve looked frail, her kindness might’ve made her seem weak, but the people of the underworld knew better than to be fooled by her selfless actions and innocent appearance. (Y/N) had an innate talent for causing people’s demise and there wasn’t a line she wasn’t willing to cross. The gentleness in her eyes would immediately harden at the sight of any threat, like molten lava hitting cold air. People who double-crossed her didn’t live to tell the tale.

Jesper wasn’t quite sure how Kaz and (Y/N) had met. From the whispers he’d heard around the Slat he figured it hadn’t been a pleasant experience. (Y/N) didn’t really discuss her life before joining the Dregs, not even when some of them would gather around to drink and curse the ghosts of the past.

Only once had Jesper gathered enough courage to break past the personal boundaries she’d clearly set and ask.

(And he’d only done it because he’d been almost drunk and really really curious.)

Kaz had been there, quietly observing as he often did, when the words had fallen out of Jesper’s mouth. He’d frozen in place, even when the question hadn’t been directed towards him, jaw tightening. Jesper had noticed Kaz’s instinctive response— because he might’ve been careless and drunk but he was also keenly observant —and that had him sobering up enough to know he was treading in dangerous territory.

No one had ever asked her directly, he’d realized at that moment as he held his breath and awaited a response. Many gossiped and guessed but no one had ever walked up to her and asked her about her past.

The softness hadn’t left (Y/N)’s face, but it was evident that the question had taken her by surprise because she’d frozen mid-action for a split second and something in her features broke. For the first time since he’d known her, Jesper saw the exhaustion and affliction in her eyes. The glint had disappeared as soon as it’d come, (Y/N) had regained her composure lightning fast, and Jesper had wondered if it’d ever been there at all.

She’d looked behind his shoulder at Kaz and they’d shared a look, one that Jesper couldn’t quite decipher. Something must’ve been telepathically said because the grip that Kaz had on his cane had lessened. His eyes, however, didn’t lose the murderous glint in them. Whatever he was remembering had fury roaring through his mind.

(It was only then that Jesper had understood that Kaz hadn’t been angered by his question but rather by the memories that had resurfaced. It must’ve been really serious because the only other time Jesper had ever seen that look in Kaz’s eyes Inej had been hurt and a guy had lost his eye.)

“I was a slave, Jes.”

Jesper did not know what he’d been expecting but that certainly hadn’t been it. As (Y/N) had pronounced the words a shadow crossed her face. It was the way she’d looked away from him, in discomfort and embarrassment, that had realization striking him like lighting. The weight of her words had settled in and Jesper understood, somewhat suddenly, what type of slave she’d been; the type to be used and discarded for the pleasure of rich men, sold and bought as if worth nothing more than an object. The burns and scars on her chest had suddenly made sense.

“It was a long time ago,” she’d added, eyes slightly glazed over, like she was physically there but mentally elsewhere. “And those men,” her eyes had flickered to Kaz before settling back on him, “they’re dead.”

More than dead if Kaz had something to do with it, Jesper had imagined.

Jesper had no way of knowing of the images flashing through her mind (pain, blood, and filthy hands. moans, tears, and screams) but he had recognized the unfocused gaze and the shaking fists by her side as her body’s response to reliving the trauma.

Jesper had never wished he could take back his words more than at that precise moment.

He’d opened his mouth to say something, anything to make the haunted look on her face dissipate, to lessen the burned he just had realized she carried, but Kaz had beaten him to it.

Tap, tap, tap.

Gently, he’d poked the floor with the ferrule of the cane. The metal had hit the ground heavily, the thud resonating. Kaz’s eyes, Jesper had noticed, remained trained solely on (Y/N), eyebrows furrowed in something that might’ve been concern.

The sound had somehow snapped through the haze of memories and had managed to bring her back to them. (Y/N) had blinked the stupor away, once again in a surprisingly fast manner, before offering Jesper a smile that had every word dying at the back of his throat.

It was small and unbelievably sad, but genuine. It was enough for him to know that she didn’t resent him for asking.

“It was a long time ago,” she’d repeated, almost to herself. Then, she’d tapped the table three times, softly. Jesper wouldn’t have noticed the action if he hadn’t been hyperaware of his surroundings.

At the moment it’d seemed like a coincidence, like (Y/N) had mimicked Kaz’s habit to anchor herself back, but as Jesper laid awake later that night he’d realized it hadn’t been just that.

She’d turned to briefly look at Kaz after doing it. If Jesper had been soberer maybe he would’ve realized that Kaz had said something and (Y/N) had responded.

iii. foot meets floor three times: i’m worried, be safe

Getting shot at was always a nuisance, so it was a true inconvenience that (Y/N) appeared to be a bullet magnet.

Really, the girl had more bullet wounds than Jesper could count. (There were two on her left shoulder, close enough to overlap, and one on her right one. There was one on her upper thigh— which Jesper had never seen but Inej said was almost unnoticeable —and the graze on her left side). Despite her bad luck Jesper reckoned (Y/N) had some sort of Saint looking over her because, somehow, the bullets always missed any important organ.

(“I’m saving you for getting hit,” she’d once joked as Inej changed the bandage on her shoulder. “So, really, you all should be thanking me rather than worrying.”

Jesper would never admit it, but sometimes he thought about her words in a serious manner. Sometimes, as he gambled and his mind slipped away, he believed that (Y/N) somehow deflected the bullets off them and ended up unwillingly pulling them towards her.

It was insane and improbable, Jesper knew that, but he still believed it.)

None of her injuries, however, had ever been as bad as the one she’d suffered two months ago. It’d been a close-range shot and the bullet hadn’t pierced cleanly through the skin but rather had settled inside. It’d missed any major artery, by some sort of miracle, but the wound had gotten infected which had resulted in (Y/N) running a high fever for almost a week.

Kaz hadn’t said a word but Jesper knew he’d been restless, especially during the worst days of the infection when (Y/N) dying was more likely than not. Jesper had seen him pacing back and forth outside of (Y/N)’s room, cane tapping thrice against the wooden floor, never going in but peaking through the door whenever Nina or Inej left. It was odd to see their unshakable leader looking somewhat distraught. Maybe that was why he seemed so on edge now. It was (Y/N)’s first heist after the injury.

Jesper would lie if he said that he wasn’t worried. With her luck, she might end up getting shot tonight, again. He kept on looking at her from the corner of his eye, half expecting her to start bleeding out like she’d done all those months back.

(The image of blood slipping past her lips and her wide eyes was burned in the back of Jesper’s mind. He could still feel the blood soaking his shirt as he’d held her together with his bare hands.)

But (Y/N) remained excitedly rocking on her heels, twirling the gun in her hand the way Jesper had taught her. She caught his eye and winked.

She’ll be alright, Jesper reassured himself.

“Let’s go over it one more time.”

Kaz’s voice broke through the silence of the night, low enough to not startle the birds that slept in the trees above but loud enough for all of them to give him their attention.

Jesper stifled a groan. They’d been over this at least three times before. (Y/N) noticed his dramatized grimace and chuckled, nudging him with her elbow.

“Inej…”

The Wraith slipped out of the shadows, “I’ll enter through the back to the control room and disable the alarm. As soon as it’s done I’ll signal you.”

She nodded towards Jesper.

“Distraction as soon as I receive the sign,” Jesper continued.

Kaz assented. “The alarm deactivation will give us a ten-minute window for the theft,” he said it as if he hadn’t been reminding them of the small span of time they had ever since he’d devised the plan. “So the distraction has to last at least seven minutes.”

Jesper knew that, it gave enough time for (Y/N) to slip in and out without raising much suspicion.

He whistled and offered a self-satisfying smirk, “I’ve got it.”

Kaz stared at him for a second, as if trying to pick his mind apart with the power of his eyes, before turning to the girl by Jesper’s side.

“(Y/N)…”

She met his eyes with a grin. “I’m off the moment Jes begins to work his magic. Go in through the second window, safe is on the second floor, third room to the left.”

“And you’re looking for?”

“Pink star diamond, 60 carats,” she responded with ease. “And if something else catches my eye-”

“No,” Kaz cut her off, tone firm and resolute. Both Jesper and Inej snapped their gaze towards their leader, it wasn’t often that he limited just how much they could steal. “In and out.”

From the corner of his eye Jesper saw the smile fall off (Y/N)’s face, arms coming to cross defensively over her chest.

“But what if-”

“In and out,” Kaz repeated, always inflexible once he made up his mind. He jutted his jaw as if daring her to argue. Jesper half expected her to do so, after all (Y/N) was never afraid of disagreeing and questioning him— she was one of the few who could do it without much repercussion —but she didn’t.

If Jesper hadn’t been looking closely he would’ve missed it, the way (Y/N) eyes trailed down to Kaz’s feet, only for a second.

Tap, tap, tap.

The point of his boot tapping against the muddy floor, his eyes not once leaving (Y/N)’s.

Her face softened instantly, shoulders deflating. She tapped her index finger against her bicep thrice in return before uncrossing her arms.

She relented with a sigh, “In and out, okay.”

As they wished each other good luck (no mourners, no funerals) Kaz did it again and this time Jesper was waiting for it, the tap of the leader’s cane against the leaves.

Tap, tap, tap.

Comfort swept over him.

Everything went as smoothly as it can go when one is robbing a millionaire.

iv. finger meets wood three times: i’m sorry, i love you

Dirtyhands didn’t need a reason, Jesper had heard that saying being whispered more times than he could recall and he could vouch for it. It was, perhaps, what made Kaz so formidable. There was no knowing when he would strike because there was no why, and without a why one couldn’t forestall his actions.

Dirtyhands didn’t need a reason, but they’d given him one the moment they’d taken (Y/N). Their death sentence had been signed the moment they’d laid a hand on her.

As Jesper watched (Y/N) in silent concern he finally understood why people feared when they whispered that saying.

(Dirtyhands didn’t need a reason.)

“Find her,” Kaz had instructed Inej and Nina as soon as they’d arrived at their destination. The girls had disappeared into the night, focused on the rescue mission.

The hand with which Kaz gripped his cane had been shaking with anger all night.

The truth was he’d been seething ever since some rouge Dime Lions had taken what was his. (They’d been rouges, Kaz was certain. Pekka Rollins had sworn to him, after a few broken fingers, that he’d never ordered them to take his girl.) Everyone in the Slat had been on edge for the last three days, expecting their leader to snap at them at any moment, but Kaz had managed to keep a tight rein on his emotions.

The control had slipped from Kaz’s fingers the moment he caught a glimpse of a man on the deck of the rusty old boat, laughter-filled voice talking about how he’d made a mess of the Bastard’s bitch. The tremors in Kaz’s hands had come to a sudden stop. Before Jesper had the opportunity to even blink Kaz had fired his gun, hitting the blond straight in the forehead.

(For someone who favored his cane over every other existing weapon, Kaz had a deadly aim. Jesper would never say it out loud, but he reckoned Kaz’s ability might come close to rivaling his own.)

“I’ll deal with them.”

Jesper had known what that meant; come with me, cover my back, but let me make them suffer.

Kaz Brekker was only one man but the murderous wrath in his eyes had let Jesper know that Kaz had no intention of leaving any of them alive. He was going to make them pay, he was going to destroy them.

Brick by brick.

It’d been carnage after that. Jesper had watched, in some sort of horrified awe, how Kaz had taken down every single one of the men. He’d shot some of them too, but it’d been mainly just Kaz. There’d been screams and the smell of blood had tainted the air.

Then there’d been nothing but silence and a pained whimper.

(It was in moments like these that Jesper was struck with the realization that he knew nothing about Kaz Brekker. Because, if anyone had ever asked him about Kaz’s anger prior to what he’d witnessed that night, Jesper would’ve answered that Kaz’s anger was hot and sharp and acid, a searing rage that couldn’t be controlled once unleashed. Kaz’s anger knew no boundaries and crossed all limits, he would’ve said, it burned fiercely as it destroyed everything in its path. But that night Jesper had seen another side to Kaz’s rage. His eyes had looked downright homicidal, dangerously violent. They’d contrasted the lack of emotions in his features. His anger wasn’t fueled by emotion—not anymore, it’d gone past that —but rather by the innate need to protect what was his. It wasn’t loud or visible, but rather quiet and lethal. Cold anger that Jesper had found even more terrifying.)

“I know you planned all of this,” Kaz had walked closer to the man who laid on the ground, hands gripping a bullet wound in his kneecap and whimpers falling from his lips. “You thought taking my girl would make me falter, didn’t you?” The man had tried to scramble but Kaz had only tsked before swinging his cane against the man’s injured leg. He’d let out a pained moan, tears dripping down his cheeks. “You just made me angry.”

“Please, I’m begging you…”

“Oh, you should beg.” The heel of the cane had come down on the knees again, the snapping sound indicating a broken bone and the wail letting Jesper know just how bad the pain must’ve been. “I would shoot you in the face, but that would be too merciful of me.” He’d used the head of the cane, the prideful crow, to lift the man’s chin. “If (Y/N) was here she’d tell me to be gentle,” a shadow had crossed Kaz’s face, terrifying enough to make a chill run down Jesper’s back, “too bad for you she isn’t here.”

The head of the cane had been swung back and it came in contact with the man’s jaw. Blood had trickled down the man’s chin, a scream leaving his mouth.

“You took something of mine, you hurt something of mine, and for that, I’ll make sure you suffer.”

Kaz had used his cane after that and no more words were spoken.

Now, as Jesper watched (Y/N) flinch away from Nina, he wondered what would’ve happened if Kaz had seen her state before killing all those men. Maybe it’d been a blessing for them that he hadn’t.

Jesper had never seen (Y/N) so worn down. She sat by the stairs, knees to her chest, holding herself close. It was a strategic position, a place where she could watch all of them and no one could sneak from behind (part of Jesper’s heart had shattered when he’d come to that realization.) She’d only spent three days with the Lions but that’d been enough to cause cracks in the impenetrable wall she’d spent the last years building, past trauma slipping through. So far she hadn’t let anyone close to her, not even Inej who was her closest friend and who’d spoken in gentle whispers about treating her injuries. Her face was a mess, the beauty not gone but tainted with purples and blues. One of her eyes still bled. Under her nails and across her fingers there was dry blood but her arms held no injuries. Jesper just knew she’d given one hell of a fight. He wondered if this was what she’d looked like when Kaz had found her all those years ago, he wondered if maybe it’d been worse. He didn’t ponder long because the pain it caused in his chest was unbearable.

Her eyes snapped towards the door before it was slammed open. Jesper turned around just in time to see Kaz walk in.

(He’d changed and showered after arriving at the Slat. Jesper somehow knew he’d done that before seeing (Y/N) to prevent the blood— that’d covered his clothes and face —from triggering any unwanted memory.

It was (Y/N)’s first time seeing him after she’d been taken. Jesper knew that Kaz was their last hope of bringing her back to them.)

Jesper saw the moment Kaz’s unwavering gaze met (Y/N)’s face and he could tell, without a doubt, that anger was consuming him once again. His jaw clenched at the sight of bruises, and his hand clenched itself by his side.

He looked ready to burn the city to ashes in retribution.

Somehow, Kaz managed to control the rage. The frigid anger in Kaz’s eyes, the one that had frightened Jesper to the core, melted as he crouched in front of her.

“Are you with me?”

She blinked once, twice, thrice. Then, she nodded, and Jesper couldn’t help the sigh of relief that left his lips. She was here, broken and damaged, but here with them. That was enough.

Kaz’s gloved hand reached forward, stopping inches away from her face, ghosting over her bruised cheek. Careful not to touch any skin, he moved some of the hair out of (Y/N)’s face before fisting his hand and returning it to his side.

Jesper looked away, something about the act felt more intimate than it looked. Nosy as he was, he listened in.

“They touched me,” the voice was weak and shaky and so unlike the (Y/N) that Jesper knew.

A sharp intake of breath. “I made them pay for that.”

“Did they suffer?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” It was barely a whisper but the words were surprisingly firm.

Jesper couldn’t see but he heard the taps. Three times. Kaz’s finger against the wooden railing of the stairs.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Jesper frowned, unbelievably confused by the words the girl had just uttered.

Tap, tap, tap.

Gentle and genuine, “I love you, too.”

Everything clicked at that precise moment, the confusion faded away. Jesper was left dizzy with the realization that Kaz’s taps meant absolutely everything. They were his way of telling them he cared. No one knew, no one understood the action, and maybe that was why Kaz kept on doing it.

But now Jesper did, now he understood.

From that day on he found himself twirling his guns thrice before going out and causing mayhem.

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maislovebot · 6 months

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Top 10 bsd characters oral scenarios: Atsushi Nakajima

I can’t believe I’m actually done with this series:’) Idk what I’m gonna do now. Maybe I’ll open up requests?

Similar to the Sigma chapter, this was written before any of the other oral scenarios, so it’s not nearly as good as the others. I did put it through some serious proofreading though, so hopefully it reaches your standards!

Contains: afab reader, gender neutral prns, pwp, overstim (I just realized literally every chapter has overstim omg), premature ejaculation, reader calls him ‘dear’ and ‘atsu’, Atsu calls reader ‘beautiful’, dry humping, implied shower sex, implied dacryphilia, atsu is so sweet, kinda pussy-drunk atsu but not nearly as bad as Ango and Sigma were in their chapters

You gasped and ground your hand into the sheets below you, Atsushi clearly having no intention of stopping any time soon. He’d normally make you cum two or three times before he’d even considered touching himself, which is a nice sentiment, but you had already cum quite a few times and Atsushi still showed no signs of letting up. He was clearly distracted by the taste of your juices and the wet, sloppy sounds coming from your spent cunt. How many times have you come? Was it four? Maybe even five? You weren’t sure anymore.

“Haah—Atsushi—please..!”

Atsushi had his tongue on your clit while his hands held your hips down, keeping you from moving out of place, leaving you with just enough room to buck your hips into his mouth more, feeling overstimulated but unable to pull your hips away. It felt so overbearing, but at the same time, it felt so good. You had yet to find something you could accurately compare it to, the pleasure Atsushi could bring you with his mouth alone was unmatched.

Your rather unclear directions were met with a hum and a small whimper from Atsushi as you dragged your fingers through his hair, your thighs clamping around his head tightly, eyes half lidded. You pushed his bangs back, showing off his face sufficiently better than before. When you opened your eyes that were previously clamped shut, you saw a look of determination in Atsushi’s eyes, and it made you whine and desperately clench around nothing. He could feel your gaze lingering on his, and he looked into your eyes and saw your teary eyes and how your jaw was hanging open slightly. The loud sounds you let out whenever his tongue lingered on your clit for just a little too long making him throb against the mattress. He kept the same pace with his tongue, but he did begin to apply more pressure to your clit, making you yelp out yet again.

You tried to arch your back, but your efforts were fruitless as Atsushi held you in place with his hands on your hips, and his fingers grinding into your hip bone with just enough pressure to keep you down, but not enough to bruise.

Atsushi didn’t want you to bruise, he wanted to drive you to orgasm again and again, he wanted to have you practically crying by the end of it all. He wanted to feel that addicting feeling of you wrapping your thighs around his head as you tremble with pleasure, with your forehead forming beads of sweat from his movements. He was determined to hear those precious moans and whines, maybe you’d mix the two here and there and cry a little. Considering how well he knew your body, it wasn’t difficult to get to that point. You swear he knows your body better than he knows his own.

Your thighs shook around his head just like he wanted, and you whined even louder than before, trying to get a single word of warning out for what was to come.

“At-Atsushi—close—” you forced out, your brain running one hundred miles a minute. Time slowed, but he didn’t. You were in desperate need of a break, so your brain started processing everything slower, which did not match well with the way he kept going at the same, pitifully fast speed. He kept going, patiently waiting for you to reach your high. With that, you came. You moaned loudly as Atsushi kissed your clit lightly, before continuing his work, but at a slower pace to help ease you through your orgasm. You tried to arch your back yet again, but you still couldn’t. Atsushi noticed this, and removed his hands from your hips.

You breathed heavily, and slowly loosened your thighs tight grip around his head, tilting your head back.

You kept laying down to catch your breath, and Atsushi pulled away from your thighs, the bottom half of his face covered in your slick, wiping it off with his hand and licking a small amount of it off of his hand, wiping the rest on the sheet.

You turned your head away from him, clearly embarrassed. Atsushi noticed you turned your head away and he tilted his head curiously before seeing your face heat up.

“You licked it off your own hand.” You said, noticing his curiosity, trying to explain your actions.

He laughed and rested his head between your thighs again.

“Are you up for more?” He questioned. While he did love when your eyes filled with tears, he couldn’t help but worry he may have gone too far.

You were. Of course you were. As overwhelming as his overstimulation was, it also felt so, so good. He had a way with his tongue, and it never failed to make you feel all warm inside.

You nodded, and he shoved his face between your thighs yet again, grinning like a giddy little kid. Atsushi kissed your right inner thigh, before slowly tracing down to your knee, giving a feather light kiss to the top of it.

Atsushi didn’t hold your hips this time around, instead allowing you free reign to do as you pleased. You, of course, noticed this and wanted to take advantage of it, but once he had brought his tongue back to your clit, you were caught off guard because he was adding something extra.

His fingers.

His ring and middle fingers.

You felt him tease at your entrance while still licking your clit shamelessly. The way he teased you with his fingers didn’t even seem like he was trying to tease you. He just seemed reluctant if anything, making you curious.

He pulled away gently, and asked you something, confirming your suspicions.

“Are you fine with me using my fingers too?”

You giggled, “yes, Atsu. That’s fine. In fact, I’d love that.”

Atsushi nodded and slowly pushed his fingers inside of you, adoring the way you clenched around him. The two fingers he used were comfortable, and it was nice; it was a slight stretch, but nothing you couldn’t handle. You especially adored the way he curled his fingers upward to press against your g-spot. He decided to switch up his movements with his tongue as well, and he began to suck on your clit. You gasped loudly, and ground your cunt into his face almost instantly.

Atsushi got a look of worry from the loud gasp you let out. You’d be lying if you said it wasn’t a little painful, but it was in the best way possible. It hurt from the overstimulation, but Atsushi had no way of knowing that, and it was evident by the way he quickly brought his head up and pulled himself up and over to linger over your face, looking worried.

“Did I hurt you?”

You took a moment to process his worry, confused until all the gears turned in your head. You smiled and brought your hands up to his hair, gently pulling him down. You brought his nose to your lips, and you lightly kissed the tip of it, making him redden.

“No, you didn’t, dear. I was just surprised by how sudden it was,” you kissed his lips, “and how good it felt.”

You kissed him again and again all over his face, and every time your kisses made his arms tremble a little more until he gently fell to the side of you.

“Now, are you okay?” You turned your head to face him, smiling at how red the tips of his ears were.

“Mhm, you’re just very..sweet.” You giggled at his wording and turned over to face him again, kissing all over his face. You could feel your orgasm quickly melting away, and once you turned to face him you shamelessly began to grind against him. He groaned into your mouth from the way you grinded against his clothed cock. His groans quickly turned into whines, and he began to rock against you as well. He was made to meet you, he was sure of it. He’d be at a loss if he’d never met you, you meant the world to him.

He wanted to prove it.

He kissed you deeper, bringing his right arm to the back of your head, turning his body to linger over you again. He kept his left balanced in order to hold himself up so as to not crush you. Your back was lifted from the bed with the way he lifted your head up, so you curled into the kiss, bringing your hands up to grab the sides of his face.

You and Atsushi stayed there like that until you began running out of air. Atsushi pulled away from you and panted slightly, removing his hand from behind your head allowing you to gently fall backwards onto the bed again. He brought his arm to the side of your head to play the same role as his left arm, keeping him from falling over.

You two laid like that for a few seconds, looking into each other's eyes.

Atsushi liked your eyes. They were pretty, and they told him so much about you with so little words actually being said. He loved how no matter what he thought he did wrong, or how low he felt, your eyes always showed him unconditional love. He also thought that they looked fantastic when they were half lidded under him, or above him, or at any angle, if he was being honest. He couldn’t for the life of him pick a favorite.

Atsushi suddenly remembered what he was doing, and flinched.

“Oh—sorry, you’re probably waiting. I got distracted.”

He looked at you as he slid back down to your thighs, and saw you smile. “It’s fine. I got distracted, too. Your eyes are really pretty, you know.” Watching your smile turn into a smirk made him tremble a little.

Atsushi slid himself down and smiled, then he left another kiss on your clit.

Atsushi continued what he was doing earlier, and sucked on your clit while putting two of his fingers inside of you, when he did he could feel your walls clench around his fingers and he shuddered.

Oh god, I need to feel that around me. Atsushi thought, letting the thought bounce around in his head before he ground himself into the sheets, making what was routine licking become just a little bit more messy. That’s okay. You fucking loved it.

You were letting out small moans until Atsushi curled his fingers up just slightly, making you cry out.

Atsushi didn’t allow this to go unnoticed, and he kept bending more and more slowly, until he began scissoring his fingers inside you as well, causing a choked cry to leave your lungs, and for your thighs to tremble again.

Atsushi didn’t let up, continuing this routine, not too fast but not too slow, either.

His tongue sucking on your clit like he was starved, and his fingers bending and scissoring you. Atsushi appeared much more desperate than the last time he went down on you only a few minutes ago, because he couldn’t stop himself from grinding his hips into the bed, and whimpering slightly, sending vibrations up your spine.

All the emotions became too much for him, him feeling genuinely loved for one of the first times ever, the love coming from you, even though you guys had sex before, it was remarkable every time. It made him emotional, and it embarrassed him a little. He couldn’t help himself from tearing up as he played with your clit like there was no tomorrow. There could be no tomorrow for all he cared about at this point. He was always desperately looking for a valid reason for him to stay alive, and that reason was right in front of him. Trembling and crying, almost cumming around his fingers.

You wanted to tell him that you were close, but you couldn’t even get your mind to think straight for anymore than a few seconds. All you could manage out was a pathetic “c-close..” before Atsushi had quickly switched places with his tongue and fingers.

He brought his tongue down to your hole with your warning, and thrusted his tongue desperately, putting his thumb over your clit and rubbing small circles relentlessly.

He was getting carried away, and he subconsciously knew it. He was going to end up making you actually cry if he kept this up, instead of just crying out small semblances of a sentence. But he couldn’t stop. Him fucking you with his tongue made you cry out his name, and he ground into the bed.

“Atsushi!” You cried out his name, maybe just a little too loudly. He quickly grabbed your hips and pulled you even closer to his face than before, making it so you couldn’t go anywhere.

“Aaa..At..”

As he kept going, you wanted to cry out his name but you began to lose the strength to do so, your thighs unable to hold themselves up anymore. Your thighs weakly fell limp next to his head, your arms not grinning the sheets as tightly anymore either.

After a certain point you couldn’t even say his name anymore. He made his tongue faster and watched your whole tense up as you came hard. On his face.

He didn’t stop there. He licked up your cum, and in the process, kept licking your clit. That certainly brought a spike of life back to you, as you jumped.

“Atsushi.. ‘s too much! Please, I can’t handle it!”

His eyes widened and he abruptly stopped, letting go of your hips. You sighed, thoroughly overstimulated.

“I’m sorry. I took it way too far.”

He moved his face into the crook of your neck, and he breathed on you.

“No, you didn’t. I-I’ve never felt that good before.” You comforted him, and ran your fingers through his hair.

“You’re crying!” He said while moving his head away from your neck just to get another look at your fucked out face.

You smirked, looking at his teary eyes.

“Who says that’s a bad thing?” He became aware of his flushed cheeks and watery eyes, whining when you wiped his tears with your thumbs. “You clearly don't think it is.”

He flushed, and he brought his hands up to wipe your tears away too.

“You have a point..” he trailed off before leaning into your neck again.

You assumed you guys would be staying like that for a few minutes, but Atsushi kept shifting uncomfortably.

“Are you okay?” You asked, still out of breath from what had happened just minutes ago.

“Uhm.. I..”

You were confused before you glanced down and realized what had happened.

Ah.

“Did you really—”

“—yeah.” He replied cutting you off.

He had come, almost completely untouched. The only ‘stimulation’ he was really getting was from grinding against the bed towards the end of your little session.

You smiled, finding his embarrassment cute. You scratched his scalp gently, gently pushing him off of you and tried to stand, only for your legs to give out under you, your legs trembling as you fell back onto the bed. Atsushi grabbed your shoulders lightly to make your landing less impactful, even if you were only falling onto the bed.

“Guess you really did fuck me good. And you only used your tongue.”

Atsushi flushed again, and turned away from you. Making you lift your hand to his chin, turning his head back to you.

“I’d hate for you to have to sit in wet boxers all night. How about we go and take a bath? We can keep going at it in there.”

Atsushi nodded, and got even more red while helping you up, grabbing your shoulders to keep you standing before just picking you up completely. Him picking you up relieved all pressure you originally had and you buried yourself in his neck almost immediately, legs wrapped around his waist.

He smiled, and placed you on the counter before running the bath water.

‘ God, they’re beautiful. ’

Wc - 2.6k

Sorry I’m ovulating

#bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs smut #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd smut #bsd #atushi nakajima #atsushi nakajima x reader smut #bungou stray dogs atsushi #nakajima atsushi #atsushi nakajima x reader #atsushi nakajima

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inkdemonapologist · 4 months

Note

OK, I was reading through past posts about the escape au. What's all this about Sammy being a murder suspect? I understand him being ex-prophet, but that was ink people... right?? Right???!!!

NOPE. This is based on book canon; in DCTL Sammy is responsible for murdering Norman Polk and at LEAST two animators in preparation for his attempted demon-appeasing ritual. Sammy disappeared for some time just before he went full murder-cultist, and was actually reported missing, so THE POLICE SHOWED UP AT JDS to investigate...

I think BatDR has pretty effectively jossed this, but I also had a headcanon at the time I created Escape AU that Sammy had been responsible for Jack’s murder, as well. They were so close, why would Sammy NOT want to make Jack a part of the salvation he’d found?

I haven’t read Fade To Black as of yet (I'm hoping to read it pretty soon so do not send me FtB info please lmao), so no idea if this gets addressed there, but like 4 or 5 people disappearing mysteriously immediately after police were tipped off about a missing person seems REAL HARD to make fly under the radar, and once you’re investigating you might run into other missing people (Jack, the violinist) who were connected to JDS, too. But somehow JDS didn’t get shut down for any crime reasons, it just went bankrupt. So… I think the easiest possible way out would be if the disappearances ended up pinned on Sammy. Lots of people saw him acting explosively volatile before he stopped coming into work, he already had A Reputation for being Very Strange even before the ink, and it sure would not be hard to imply the tragedy of a Mad Genius who must’ve just Lost His Mind And Finally Snapped for reasons definitely completely unrelated to workplace conditions. Even if Joey didn’t lean the narrative in this direction himself, SURELY it would be a suspicion, at least in retrospect? The police ask questions, nobody is particularly kind to Sammy’s character and likely paint a picture of someone who is absolutely the kind of guy who would murder a bunch of people. He stops coming into work, makes a huge mess of his department, and then 4 people disappear. Joey shuffles the ink machine to New Jersey for a lil bit for ““““““repairs”””” and the police are able to investigate JDS to search for bodies they will never find. It’s a cold case, but like… Sammy would be your biggest suspect, right? Because it’s not Joey! He’s eccentric in DCTL but he’s not MURDER eccentric! And the music director was SO clearly troubled. You’d just kind of assume that Sammy probably did it and if we had ever found him, we might know more about why and how he did it.

So I think if Sammy Lawrence in Escape AU turned up in the public eye again, that would immediately be the question: Did you kill all those people? And the answer isn’t quite “no,” ("I did, but I was under the influence of magical demonic ink") and Sammy is, unfortunately, incapable of answering this question in a way that doesn’t make him sound very suspicious.

#Escape AU #sammy lawrence #i know you have questions you always do

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emmabirb8 · 1 year

Text

As much as I absolutely adore the Nandermo relationship dynamic, it can be so frustrating sometimes.

Like, Nandor loves Guillermo so so much, but he is too emotionally stunted and repressed to actively show him that in ways that Guillermo can understand, so Guillermo believes he doesn't feel the same way he does. That disconnect becomes even stronger with Nandor's tendency to reject Guillermo's efforts to show him how he feels, especially when he denies Guillermo's attempts for something as simple as a hug every single time. Because of this frustration and because Nandor is often dismissive, aloof, and emotionally closed off, Guillermo lashes out and strains what intimacy they do have, not even realizing how he's hurting his own chances of forming a deeper connection by doing so.

Meanwhile, Nandor does actually express his feelings in LOTS of different instances in his own himbo way, but because Guillermo isn't responding positively to those ways Nandor has found, Nandor is likewise led to believe Guillermo doesn't love him back. (Most everybody has figured this out, but that's why he's held out so long on making Guillermo into a vampire - in Nandor's mind, if Guillermo doesn't love him, he won't stay, but he will stick around if he wants Nandor to sire him.) It's a quintessential version of "the love is requited (very, very requited), they're both just idiots" trope. It's just that the "idiots'' part stems from a total lack of proper communication, both verbal and nonverbal, on both ends.

See, these bitches are so intensely in love with each other, but they haven't quite figured out that they speak different languages when it comes to attempting to express that love. And I don't just mean that they utilize different love languages either (though Nandor tends to gravitate toward gift giving while Guillermo goes for acts of service). Both of them have actually expressed some form of each of the five love languages to each other at different points through the series. No, what I mean is that, being as repressed as they are, they each are at a point where they need direct, explicit, and blatantly obvious signals from the other to truly believe the love is requited. Buuuttt neither has yet found what those signals should be, partially because they each struggle with verbalizing their feelings (esp to each other's faces) and partially because they each require different signals to really get it.

Nandor focuses on gift giving and taking action, such as saving Guillermo's life on multiple occasions and trying to make him more happy/comfortable in his role as familiar and bodyguard in various ways. And for someone so repressed and hesitant, that's great! He's at least developed some techniques over the years of showing how he feels. However, in order to convey those feelings to Guillermo clearly, he needs to be more emotionally vulnerable with him and express himself through words as well as actions. Stating his feelings directly is key for Guillermo in particular - it's been shown/implied at least a couple of times when they've had arguments that Guillermo would prefer Nandor be up front and direct about what he's thinking and feeling. And obviously, another important step would be for Nandor to stop his habit of rejecting Guillermo's advances and allow him to follow through on attempts to show his affection (such as through hugging - damn it Nandor, let Guillermo fucking hug you).

On the other hand, Guillermo focuses on acts of service as well as taking action, such as becoming a vampire slayer in order to keep Nandor safe despite the fact he loves vampires. The problem with Guillermo's expressions is that for the most part, Nandor doesn't perceive his service and actions as indications of love. Nandor thinks Guillermo is only fulfilling his familiar and bodyguard duties and doesn't know or understand the full extent of how above and beyond Guillermo has always gone for his sake out of devotion and love. So for Guillermo to really get it through Nandor's head that he loves him, he needs to make a point to do activities with Nandor outside of his working hours as a familiar/bodyguard, and verbally say that he wants to spend time with him as a "friend" and not just go through the motions of his usual duties. This way, Nandor will (hopefully) understand that Guillermo values their time together and wants to be around him even outside of performing as a servant. And ofc, he ALSO needs to be more emotionally vulnerable and talk more openly with Nandor.

I'm obviously not a therapist, but I think this would fix them. At the very least, it would finally set them in the right direction of realizing and accepting their love for each other and doing something about it. Preferably in the form of Guillermo railing Nandor against that snazzy new bar of his until they both see stars. 💖💖💖

#what we do in the shadows #wwdits #wwdits fx #nandermo #nandor the relentless #guillermo de la cruz #nandor and guillermo #wwdits nandor #wwdits guillermo #wwdits analysis #wwdits meta #my posts

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thatgirl4815 · 9 months

Note

hey! saw you were wondering/theorizing that San might have recognized Ray at the bar. do you think San could have a crush on Ray? i also feel like there's more going on than we know yet

Hi! Ultimately, I think there are 2 likely possibilities for why Sand reacted the way he did when he saw Ray passed out by the toilet...

1) Sand sees someone passed out drunk--who he has likely seen around the bar multiple times, considering Ray and co. seem to be frequenters--and is reminded of something from his past. I mentioned in another post that it could have something to do with someone close to him who was an alcoholic. Personally, my bets are on his father given his immediate reaction to Ray’s “Are you my father?” which, while I’m talking, could say something about Ray as well. It seems a bit telling that Ray's drunk reaction to Sand giving him a hard time is to think about how a father (likely his father) would react to him in this state (...or it means nothing and I am once again reading too far into things).

Anyways.

I'm less inclined to believe this first option given that Sand only really reacts to Ray after he looks up. This implies that it could be less about Ray being drunk by the toilet and more about who Ray actually is. (Regarding your theory that Sand has developed a crush on Ray, I don't necessarily think this is the case. I wouldn't completely rule it out, but Sand's expression has a layer of exasperation in it that doesn't quite fit.)

This brings me to theory #2.

2) Sand recognizes Ray from around the bar; he could also be familiar with Ray's wealth. I wonder if this look of recognition/exasperation is because Sand knows the family Ray comes from. Assuming Ray's father plays a big role in why he is the way he is (drinking-wise), would it be a stretch to say that Ray's family's influence has had an impact on Sand as well? Maybe Sand was screwed over somehow as a result of this family. It might not be quite so direct--perhaps Sand was not personally screwed, but he recognizes Ray as someone with privileges that he lacks. His animosity is understandable; Ray is swimming in cash, but what is he using it for? Partying every night and getting way too drunk. Sand understands the division that has been made for us, the audience: Sand is poor, Ray is rich, and that social separation is already a substantial barrier in their relationship. Add Ray's drinking problem into the mix, and there is clearly a lot of conflict to work through.

As I said before, I'm more inclined to think that Sand knows who Ray is--more specifically, he knows Ray's reputation. If anything, this pre-existing negativity towards Ray only serves to illustrate how selfless Sand is. Yes, there is the argument that if Sand didn't help Ray, he would've attempted to drive home by himself and potentially injured others in the process. But I don't think I need to expand on all the ways that Sand treats Ray much better than he probably deserves.

Sorry, this got really long-winded and strayed off topic a bit. I have too many thoughts about where this dynamic might go haha.

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bloody-bee-tea · 7 months

Text

BeeTober 2023 Day 18 - Tackle

Suguru isn’t entirely sure how it happens. One moment they are in their usual groove during a fight and the next moment Suguru sees one of the curses aim for Satoru from his blind spot.

There’s not enough time to think, not enough time to remember that Satoru is basically invincible these days and before Suguru knows it, he’s moving. He knows he’s going to be fast enough the moment he pushes away from the ground and even though that means he’s going to take a–probably devastating–hit, there is nothing but relief that Satoru is going to be safe.

Suguru collides with Satoru just in time to tackle him out of the way and the last thing he hears before everything erupts into pain is a panicked “Suguru!”. After that, there’s nothing but darkness.

~*~*~

Suguru wakes up to an ache in his side that almost borders on outright pain. He takes a moment to breathe in and out, trying to get used to it, before he opens his eyes. He is, of course, met with the clinical ceiling of the medical room and really, with his side hurting like that it shouldn’t be a surprise.

It still is, somehow, until Suguru remembers just what happened.

“Satoru,” he breathes out, because he doesn’t know what happened after he got hit, after he lost consciousness and the thought that Satoru still might have gotten hurt is enough to force Suguru into a sitting position.

“I really wouldn’t do that yet,” comes Shoko’s voice from behind him and when Suguru whips his head around in surprise everything goes dark for a moment.

He’s clearly not at his best at the moment.

“Shoko,” he whispers, once the spots that dance in front of his eyes are gone. “Where’s Satoru?”

“You’re such an idiot,” she says, and there’s more emotion in her voice than Suguru is really used to. “You should really care more for yourself instead of him,” she chides him and Suguru grimaces.

“What’s the damage then?” he sighs out, because clearly it must be bad if he’s still here and subjected to her care.

“The damage is that you’re a stupid idiot,” Satoru’s voice rings out and Shoko rolls her eyes before she vanishes to god knows where, leaving Suguru to suffer under Satoru’s furious glare alone.

“You’re okay,” he still can’t help but to whisper under his breath but he flinches when Satoru’s glare goes even more murderous, if that’s even possible.

“And you probably think that’s because of you, dipshit, but news flash, I’m the strongest. Of course I’m okay. I’m always okay.”

He seems genuinely furious and Suguru busies himself with laying back down, if only so he can escape that gaze for a moment. Or at least pretend to.

“I’m glad,” Suguru gasps out once he managed to return to a reclined position, though even that brought cold sweat to his forehead.

He really must have been hit hard if he still feels this badly.

“Well, I’m not,” Satoru bites out and if Suguru still had the energy for it, he’d probably flinch.

“I don’t understand–” Suguru starts because he’s at a loss as to what could make Satoru this angry.

“What’s there not to understand?” Satoru interrupts him. “I’m the strongest. I do not get hurt. I am untouchable. I am invincible. I certainly do not need help from the likes of you.”

His words sting worse than whatever left-over pain he has from his injury and Suguru can’t quite manage to meet Satoru’s eyes anymore. Of course he’d be angry. Suguru basically implied that he is weak by budging in and taking that hit for him and Satoru always prides himself on being the strongest. Of course he wouldn’t take kindly to what Suguru did, no matter if it came from a place of worry.

“I’m sorry,” Suguru somehow manages to get out and Satoru huffs in a way that makes Suguru’s stomach turn.

He has seen Satoru this angry a few times but never before had that anger been directed at him. It’s not a nice feeling at all, Suguru finds.

“You better be,” Satoru snaps out, his voice shaking with how angry he is and Suguru wonders if things would be better if he fell unconscious again.

Since that is not something he can do on command, though, he chooses the next best thing.

“I’m tired,” he mutters, but is stopped by a sharp pain in his side when he tries to turn his back to Satoru.

“Yeah, I bet you are,” Satoru mutters under his breath and Suguru flinches with the reminder that he’s no match at all for Satoru.

He doesn’t even remember the last time Satoru truly needed to sleep and of course this is just one more thing that makes Suguru look weak in his eyes. Before Suguru can even try to come up with anything else to say, Satoru disappears between one blink and the next, clearly too impatient to get away from Suguru to simply walk out on him.

Suguru didn’t know it could hurt this much to have someone teleport out on him.

Sleep does seem like the better option in face of that, and to his own surprise it doesn’t take him long to fall asleep at all.

~*~*~

When he wakes up the next time it’s to Shoko standing next to his bed instead of Satoru.

“Morning,” he grumbles out, still more asleep than awake and Shoko gives him a look.

“Evening, actually,” she informs him and then watches as he struggles to sit up, not even lifting a finger to help him.

“When can I leave?” he pants out once he finally manages to sit properly and the look increases.

“You nearly died twice over, I don’t think leaving should be on your agenda for now. You can count yourself lucky that I managed to stitch your arm back on.”

“I–nearly lost my arm?” he asks and looks down at his torso. He doesn’t see much, of course, with the shirt he’s wearing, but it would explain the pain, actually.

“Nearly is generous,” Shoko shoots back and then rattles off a downright staggering list of injuries he sustained when he took that hit for Satoru.

Suguru can indeed count himself lucky that he’s still alive.

“How did I get back here?” Suguru asks, still trying to wrap his head around just how close he came to dying.

“Gojo. He teleported right into the room, clutching you to his chest.”

“He can’t do long distance teleportation,” Suguru mutters, because it’s one of the few things Satoru still struggles with.

“He can when it comes to you,” Shoko instantly replies and Suguru flinches with her words.

It’s just another reminder that he’s not nearly as strong as Satoru, but Suguru guesses Satoru will at least be grateful to him for making him learn that.

“So, when can I leave then?” he asks again, because staying here is not something he wants to do.

Shoko regards him for a long minute before she sighs.

“There’s a tray in the room next door I need. Get that to me without having to sit down and you’re free to leave,” she tells him and just by her tone Suguru knows that he’s not going to make it.

Still, he has to try.

By the time he’s on his feet, he’s drenched in sweat, his entire side is screaming at him and his knees feel like jelly. Shoko clearly has no sympathy for him.

“I’m gonna make it,” Suguru grits out and Shoko huffs out a disbelieving laugh.

“Sure. Don’t break something when you faceplant into the ground,” she tells him with a wave as she leaves the room.

Suguru is almost thankful that now there won’t be witnesses when he does exactly that. Still, he clenches his teeth and shuffles forward. He’s not going to stay in this room for a day longer, not if he can help it.

He refuses to acknowledge the fact that his stubborn–and possibly stupid–desire is entirely born out of the urge to prove to himself and Satoru that he’s not as weak as Satoru clearly deems him to be because that is only going to make him spiral.

Suguru thought they were friends. Equals, even, as much as anyone can be that with Satoru. And maybe even–Suguru cuts himself off there, because that is absolutely something he does not need to think about right now. Satoru’s derision for him was more than clear earlier. Suguru pushes that thought away too and instead focuses on shuffling through the room, always keeping a hand on the wall; it’s not as if Shoko told him to not do that, and he’ll take any advantage he can get, no matter how small it might be.

Somehow he makes it to the door besides his like this, knees wobbling, sweat rolling down his face, hand shaking where it’s steadying him against the wall. It’s barely a victory but Suguru will take it. He does not think about the way back.

He pushes the door open, leaning on the handle to keep his balance but when he sees what’s inside, he freezes up completely.

Satoru is draped over a bed, a TV stashed in the corner, his clothes flung around the room as if he’s been living here for months.

This doesn’t add up.

“Have you been hurt?” is the first thing out of his mouth and it would almost be comical how fast Satoru shoots up from the bed if Suguru wasn’t so worried. “Satoru, have you been hurt?” he asks again, more insistent this time when Satoru fails to answer him and he knows he shouldn’t, knows that Satoru is just going to take it as another offence against himself but Suguru can’t help himself.

He needs to know if Satoru got hurt.

“No,” Satoru finally gets out and Suguru almost stumbles where he stands. “Are you allowed to be up? Shouldn’t you be laying down or something?”

Right, because he’s too weak to even stand on his own, Suguru bitterly thinks.

“I just–Shoko said–what are you even doing here?” he finally asks because he can’t understand what Satoru is doing here if he hasn’t been hurt. “Did you burn your room down?”

It’s the only other thing that makes sense to Suguru but Satoru only glares at him.

“I did not.”

“Then what–”

“You should sit down,” Satoru interrupts him and carries a chair over to where Suguru is still standing in the middle of the doorway. “Sit.”

“I can’t,” Suguru faintly says, even though there is nothing else he wants to do more. “Shoko says I can only leave if I make my way back without having to sit and I really want to leave.”

“You’re an idiot,” Satoru mutters and puts a hand to Suguru’s shoulder.

Suguru is ashamed to admit that even that faint weight is enough to make his knees buckle.

“Fuck,” he whispers when he heavily sits down on the chair, because there is no way in hell Shoko is going to let him leave now. Suguru is so not looking forward to spending another night here.

Speaking of–

“How long has it been? Shoko didn’t say.”

“A week,” Satoru says, his voice barely audible in the room and Suguru almost chokes on nothing.

“A week,” he wheezes out because even with how serious his injuries were he didn’t expect that.

“A week,” Satoru repeats and Suguru can’t quite place the emotion in his voice. Before he can puzzle over it more, though, Shoko’s steps ring out behind him and Suguru groans.

“You’re staying then,” she says when she sees them, a pointed look at the chair Suguru is sitting on. “And you,” she continues as she glares at Satoru, “get the hell out of my hair. He’s alive, what more do you want? I’m sick of having you live here.”

She doesn’t wait for either of them to answer before she walks away and Suguru can do nothing but stare after her before he slowly turns back to Satoru.

“Live here? Why would you live here?”

“I don’t,” Satoru lies and Suguru pointedly looks around the room; the very lived-in room and he can’t quite hide his confusion when Satoru goes red in the face. “This is not about me,” he then hisses. “This is about you and your stupidity.”

“I already said I’m sorry,” Suguru snaps out. “What more do you want from me?”

“I want you to stop being this stupid! I’m invincible! No one and nothing can touch me, so what the hell were you even thinking!”

“I wasn’t!” Suguru shouts back and his eyes widen in shocked surprise when Satoru falls silent at his admission but it seems he can’t stop himself now. “I wasn’t thinking, Satoru. I saw that you were about to be hit, that you were about to be hurt and I didn’t think. I just knew I had to protect you.”

“I–”

“—don’t need your protection, yeah, I know,” Suguru bitterly mutters because Satoru has made that more than clear. “Sorry for caring about you, I guess,” he quietly tacks on and isn’t proud of the way it makes Satoru flinch.

“I’m invincible,” Satoru mutters—yet again—and Suguru is so fed up with hearing this that he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, I get it! Would you stop saying that already.”

“I’m invincible,” Satoru still says one more time and there’s something desperate in his voice. “But you’re not!”

“What?” Suguru says, a frown now on his face. “Thanks for reminding me just how inferior I am.”

“No, no, it’s just—” Satoru reaches out for him, though he doesn’t quite touch him. Suguru can still see the faint tremor in his fingers. “There was so much—” he trails his fingers along a line and Suguru guesses he’s going to find a scar in the exact spot under his shirt. “I thought you died,” Satoru weakly finishes and then plasters his usual cheerful and entirely fake smile on his face again. “But I guess you didn’t, so good for you!”

Suguru is almost getting whiplash from how fast his mood changed and he’s glad that he’s already sitting down.

“What is going on, Satoru?” he weakly whispers, too tired to try and puzzle this all out for himself, though he’s slowly getting an inkling as to what this could be about. “Explain it to me.”

The smile drops from Satoru’s face as if it’s never been there and Suguru startles when he crouches down in front of him, his gangly limbs all tucked up.

“I thought you died,” Satoru evenly says, not meeting Suguru’s eyes. “Your arm was just dangling about and there was so much blood. I thought you died.” His voice breaks over the last word and Suguru sees how he clenches his hand into a fist. “Everyone always keeps telling me how I’m the strongest, how Limitless makes it almost impossible to hurt me and it was the only thing I could think about. If I’m so strong how come you felt the need to protect me? If I’m so strong how come I almost lost you?”

He pillows his head on his arms, burying his face so he can’t see Suguru anymore but Suguru still smiles softly at him.

It makes sense, now. Satoru is just feeling what Suguru felt when he moved to protect him.

“I didn’t think of you as the strongest when I pushed you out of the way. I just thought of you as Satoru and how I had to make sure you don’t get hurt,” he softly says and watches how Satoru’s entire frame shudders. “I just wanted to keep you safe,” he adds, reaching out to push his hands into Satoru’s silky soft hair. “That’s all.”

He lazily scratches Satoru’s scalp until the shudders stop and Satoru turns his head to finally look at him again.

“Don’t do that again,” he whispers and Suguru laughs.

“I can’t promise that,” he honestly says, because if something like this happens again, he has no doubt that his body is going to move once more before he can form a proper thought. “You stayed here to keep an eye on me?” Suguru then asks and again, a faint blush dusts Satoru’s cheeks.

“Couldn’t bear to be all across campus,” he mutters, clearly embarrassed but Suguru thinks it’s sweet. Kind of over the top, really, but sweet nonetheless.

“Mind to share your room with me tonight?” Suguru wants to know. “Yours is much less clinical than mine. Easier to keep an eye on me that way, too,” he adds with a grin, though his exhaustion is quickly catching up to him.

Satoru must notice, because he’s quick to get up, carefully helping Suguru across the room to the bed.

“You need to rest more,” Satoru chides him as he tucks him in and if Suguru had more strength he would laugh at how incredibly overprotective this is.

“You need rest, too, strongest or not. Come here,” Suguru says and tugs at Satoru’s hand in an attempt to get him into bed with him.

“I guess I can sleep,” Satoru agrees surprisingly easily and slides into bed with Suguru.

Suguru doesn’t have the energy to tease him over the way he curls around him but there is one question on his mind, even as sleep tugs on him.

“How come I can touch you?” he slurs out, reaching out to wrap his fingers around Satoru’s wrist and he’s not sure with the haziness of sleep but he thinks he feels Satoru’s lips against his forehead.

“You’re always the exception,” he hears Satoru mutter and then everything goes dark once more.

But this time, he falls into it with a smile.

#bt writes #jjk #satosugu #stsg #geto suguru #gojo satoru #ieiri shoko #hurt/comfort #serious injury #misunderstandings #confessions #of a sort #fluff

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istadris · 8 months

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The King and the Imperator

Translation of this story ( @elitadream keep an eye out, there's more to come)

Or : when the universes of two short-stacked, moustachioed heroes collide, and their respective nemesis find a common ground.

The creature was towering over him.

An impressive feat on its own, given how Caesar was taller than most of his peers. What was most remarkable, however, was the creature itself: a curious hybrid between man, turtle and lizard, one that could breathe fire and break stones with its bare fists. Dragon, his mind kept suggesting, despite his best efforts to avoid dwelling on the ludicrous idea.

Even more interesting was the fact that the creature was smart enough to think, talk, and was, from what he had gathered, a king, a ruling leader.

Smart enough to bark a laugh in reaction to Caesar’s offer.

“So you wanna work for me? You?”

“An alliance is what I’m offering,” Caesar answered coldly, “as our goals seem to align for the time being.”

“An ‘alliance’ implies we both got something interesting to bring on the table. I have the biggest army in the world, the best magicians at my service, and I am the most powerful of my kingdom. What could a twiggy little thing like you offer me?”

“Many things, O king, but most of all what you are currently lacking: strategy.”

The creature snarled at the implied insult and stomped suddenly towards Caser, huge, sharp fangs bared in a vicious snarl. It took all of Caesar’s self-control to not reach for his sword; not that it would do much against the thick scales of his opponent.

“Watch your words, human. You’re a funny distraction for now, but you’re not that amusing.”

Yet as brutish and foul-tempered as this monster was, it was smart enough not to give in to his rage and listen to what Caesar had to say instead. So he stared back in the red eyes, standing tall and proud.

“You said it yourself: you lead the greatest army of this world, you dispose of vast resources…yet what of your conquests? How have you not yet bent this entire world to your rule?”

“Ha, because you think you can do better than ME?”

“‘Better’? I’m leaving this debate to philosophers. I only know I had no throne to claim by birth right, nor fortune or magic. And yet today I’m the master of an empire in all but in name; I am feared and respected by my citizens and foes alike as the conqueror of most of the known world. All who dared opposing me submitted to my armies or perished. Can you claim the same?”

Black smoke erupted from the creature’s nostrils in a low snort, the words clearly striking a chord, but not to the point of causing aggression for now. Caesar even dared to walk a few steps away from his interlocutor, his arms crossed behind his back as he took in the landscape surrounding them as he went on:

“Only one small village of indomitable Gauls still holds out against my troops. But unlike me, they have at their disposal a…magic providing them with incredible strength. Otherwise, they would have been wiped out a long time ago.”

Some of them might have cunning and ingenuity on their side as well…but Caesar didn’t need to mention that detail.

“Two of them, in particular, keep fooling my plans. A pesky duo made of a little runt and a tall bumbling fool following him around. From what I was told,” he added with a smirk in the direction of the king, “we share something in common in that aspect.”

“Might be. Get to the point.”

“It’s very simple,” Caesar said as he turned to face the monster. “You’re used to magic, and there's no doubt as to your strength: even with their powers, you would be quite the challenge to my enemies. As for yours…no matter how powerful they are, two men wouldn’t be able to fend off an organised campaign of my design against their kingdom. A little village where they can focus their effort, yes. An entire country? I beg to differ. This is my offer, mighty king: remove the last obstacles in the way to my hegemony, and I’ll make sure your army can defeat this kingdom standing up to you.”

“And why would your plans be more efficient than mine?”

“Because I have seen your troops in action…if I noticed such a lack of organisation in mine, my centurions would get the whip for such incompetence. A fickle chain of command outside of their king, battle plans relying on capricious and unstable elements, basic and repetitive tactics…”

He let out a small laugh.

“If I can’t do better, I can hardly imagine doing worse.”

“And let me guess,” the monster snarked in a honeyed tone, “I should give you free reign with MY army in MY kingdom.”

The smarmy smile turned into a cruel grimace as the king raised one of his paws, suddenly unsheathing knife-sharp claws and casually looking at them

“What if instead, I killed you and took as my own that army you’re so proud of, hm?”

“Then kill me now, instead of wasting my time,” Caesar shot back with a dismissive wave of his hand.

For the first time since their encounter, arrogance made way for surprise on his interlocutor’s face, but Caesar kept talking without giving a care:

“I thought I was dealing with a king able to see where his interests lie and seize a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but if I’m only facing some mindless, prideful beast, might as well spare me the headache and give me a quick death.”

Red eyes seemed to ignite before narrowing, focused on their prey.

“SO BE IT!!”

The creature suddenly lunged towards Caesar in a deafening roar, his throat blazing with the promise of fire.

And yet despite the danger, Caesar was…not reassured, but…calm. He had dealt with this kind of people before, brash, temperamental and straightforward; the monstrous king was not the kind to waste time over a decision, nor did he seem squeamish at dirtying his own hands in getting rid of a troublesome element.

Whether he lived or died, Caesar would find out very soon. So he remained impassive to the threat, intent on keeping his dignity until the very end.

For several seconds the monster glared at Caesar, teeth bared…until his snarl slowly turned into a fierce grin and he suddenly threw his head back, laughing loudly:

“GWAHAHAHA!! You got nerve, Twiggy, I’ll give you that!”

Caesar managed to let out the breath he had been holding despite himself without the king apparently noticing.

Said king turned his eyes again on Caesar:

“Are you sure you can get rid of these two pains in the rump?”

“Most certainly. But only if you can return the favour.”

The king snorted, looking more annoyed than insulted this time.

“Are all humans so annoying to deal with?” he grumbled, not waiting for Caesar’s answer before continuing, “but you’ve got a point: with how long these moustachioed menaces have been ruining my plans, I can’t let slip any chance to finally put them down. If you can give it to me…I can be very grateful.”

For the first time since the start of the negotiations, he was displaying a serious, dignified demeanour befitting a true king while staring down at Caesar no longer as a troublesome hindrance but as a potential ally.

“Give me absolute victory and I’ll offer you a conquest. What do you say?”

That’s what he had been after from the beginning…and yet Caesar took a moment before answering.

This was a land of madness. Bright colours, absurd landscapes, ridiculous creatures. But under their ridiculous appearance, these strange beings were as strong as resilient and they had magic. Power.

He had to bring but a sliver of that power back to Rome.

Caesar was also aware of taking a big risk. He was alone, away from his armies and his usual influence. He could see the limitless ambition of this beast of a king as it reflected his own, and he would need to make sure it didn’t include Caesar’s own empire. He would need to watch carefully his back less he found himself with a knife in it the second this prideful ally got what he wanted.

But he had not become the most powerful man of his world by playing it safe.

Alea jacta est, he decided as he held his hand out to conclude the deal.

He managed not to flinch when the large paw all but crushed his bones in the handshake.

However, he did stumble and collapsed to the ground at the thunderous slap on his back, the king’s laughter booming above him.

“You know what? I think we’re gonna make a great team.”

#super mario bros #asterix #bowser #Astérix #julius caesar #my writing #Ista writes #my stuff #crossOver #translation #happy birthday to myself here's the wildest crossover I ever wrote of my two latest hyperfixations

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siriuslysatorusimping · 9 months

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Another Level Author Discussion: Hollow Echoes

I absolutely LOVE that so many of you have so many thoughts about the most recent addition to Another Level! This part was incredibly challenging for me to write and I'm so very proud of how it came out and how the emotions came across.

I decided to post this because I was going to end up writing full-length books in the comments replying, and I thought this might be better lol For those who haven't read it yet, I'm putting the discussion below the cut so you can avoid spoilers!

If you haven't already and want to know more, you can find Another Level on AO3 :)

In all honesty, I struggled to write this part a lot because I already had the outcome planned. I knew from the start that this would be their first big fight and it would test them, but that they would come out stronger. I also knew that I wanted to keep Gojo as close to our real Gojo as possible, meaning that he's likely not going to apologize for hurting her. In his mind, he was justified in being upset, so whatever he did or said was justified as well.

You will see some of this in the upcoming chapter for Hollow Echoes.

Something I want to convey in this story as a whole is that people are messy. Humans are filled with lots of emotions, and pain is one of the hardest to work with because people in pain are typically unpredictable.

Gojo is human. And he is far from perfect. While he shouldn't have lashed out the way he did, it's very human of him to direct that anger at the first person he comes in contact with. It's actually why he had isolated himself in the first place because he knows he's not okay enough to be around people when he's like that even if he doesn't know how to say that. He doesn't want to risk ruining the persona he's built of being carefree and nonchalant by taking his anger out on others, so he shuts himself away for a few days to get a handle on his emotions and then slides his mask back in place. She caught him while he was still trying to find that mask again and it threw him off a lot. Hence his lashing out.

He's also furious with Nanami. More than he's upset with Rinko, actually. Because Nanami overstepped quite a bit here. Well-intentioned, but he ignored the fact that Gojo clearly wanted to be left alone.

We're going to see that Nanami struggles with letting people handle things alone, he is a fixer. It's a trait that's pretty common in a lot of people even if they don't mean for it to be harmful: Your not being okay is making me not okay or is disrupting my life, so I need you to be okay again so I can be okay too. While many times it's because they care about that person, it rarely has good results, and this is a prime example of that.

Gojo missing jobs is disrupting Nanami's life because he's having to pick up some of the slack, and Yaga is getting angry as well. So, he does what he thinks will fix it: have Rinko talk to him. Because Gojo acts differently with her and is softer with her, Nanami thought that she would show up and things would just fix themselves. He's going to keep thinking that without meaning to.

So, while Rinko and Nanami both meant well, they blatantly disrespected Gojo's wish to be left alone.

Should he have communicated that he wanted to be left alone explicitly? Maybe. But they both should have realized that if he wasn't answering, that was him communicating his desire. Rinko did realize this, but she ignored that instinct in favor of listening to people who had known Gojo longer.

Nanami asking Rinko to cross a boundary by invading Gojo's space without permission - and her doing so - hurt Gojo quite a bit. Because it's what everyone else does and he didn't expect her to be like that. It's why she had a key to his place when literally no one else did. Because he thought he could trust her to not do exactly what she ended up doing.

I also made the purposeful choice to have her not mention in her messages that she was coming over. None of her messages even implied such, so he was truly blindsided by her showing up and entering without his permission.

Honestly, I have been on both ends of similar situations and it's really hard, so I'm happy with how this turned out because it starts to convey that complexity just a bit.

So, while being upset with him is completely understandable - and Rinko will be because she's also human and has emotions and is valid in them - his reaction makes sense from a purely human perspective. She also already knows that what she did was wrong, how she went about trying to check on him, and she'll acknowledge it. She knows he's human. Probably better than anyone else in his life at this point, and she understands what it's like to say and do things just because she's hurting.

He is going to admit to her that it's one of the things he likes most about her, appreciates about her. Because she sees a human with too much being asked of him when she looks at him instead of an untouchable god, like so many others do. He's going to tell her such, too.

Because if you'll remember, at this point, there are two people who have worn him down enough to land a hit on him: Toji Fushiguro and Rinko Kurisaki. And they did it days apart from each other, for completely different reasons. Gojo was escorting Riko Amanai less than a week after meeting Rinko.

This was intentional. And it's a trait that irritates him while drawing him to her more. Her comment to Shoko about him being so different with her because of their first encounter? Not far off. She and Toji are cousins. First cousins. His father and her father were brothers. So, bastard or not, their blood relation is more direct than she ever talks about or wants to admit because it's the same amount of blood they'd have shared were she a legitimate child. And the fact that Toji was actually her first introduction to the Jujutsu world as a kid doesn't help with that.

Rinko has viewed herself as weak for multiple reasons and it's made her rely more on her brain than her cursed energy. After training a bit with Gojo, she's relying on both.

But think back to their fight in Make a Good Bleed: she knew she couldn't beat him, so she focused on wearing him down and being annoying. And then when she saw an opening, she took it.

After just a few meetings with Toji, without him trying to teach her anything, she realized how useful having no cursed energy could be and learned to mask her own to make herself seem weaker. She is incredibly tactical and it will show even more over time. But what makes it even better is that she doesn't realize just how tactical she really is because she has believed what the main clan has told her since the day they met her: half-breeds are weak.

If you'll remember when she called herself a half-breed to Gojo, he clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes at her. That wasn't because he didn't like being bested, it was because he didn't like that she called herself that. What did he say to her after?

"Zenin's are strong." He doesn't differentiate that. She has Zenin blood, so she's strong, 'half-breed' or not. He'll hear Naoya call her this once, and he's going to lose his mind.

Does any of this mean he's off the hook? Oh hell no. But, it's one reason she reacted the way she did in how quickly she retreated and blamed herself there at the end.

TLDR: Humans are messy and imperfect, and Gojo is no exception even if he is the strongest Jujutsu Sorcerer in the world.

#another level #author discussion #another level discussion #hollow echoes #gojo satoru #jujutsu gojo #gojo satoru fanfic #gojo satoru x original female character #gojo satoru x reader #gojo fluff #gojo smut #gojo fanfic #gojo x reader #gojo satoru smut

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dandelion-wings · 3 months

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Hi! For the Unusual Fic-Specific Asks for Authors, I'd like to ask two things about Broken Ground! First, perspective flip: I think you mentioned Lisa being more present at first and then cut out of the scene, so I'd like to know more about that :> How was it from her point of view? And also, time after time: when the group arrived back to Mondstadt after the ordeal, how did Lisa react?

Thank you for the ask! :>

I'm not entirely sure if you wanted Lisa's perspective on the scene that happened, or the one I cut, but I do love the one I cut even if it didn't serve the story, so I'm going to pull it out and POV-flip it up to the point when I realized I had to back up and do something different. >>

Lisa is still standing on the top of the Ordo steps when Barbara and Master Diluc come into view. Barbara she'd expected; Diluc she hadn't, not quite yet. She'd thought she would have to send Huffman, whom Kaeya has assured her is quite reliable when there's information he wants to distribute, to the Angel's Share to ostensibly roust out any off-duty knights who'd taken up drinking there. At which point Diluc would take off on his own initiative, with no idea of his course or what he might intend. This works out much better. "Lisa!" Barbara calls, rushing up the steps. "What happened? That cloud is from where my- where Master Jean went, isn't it?" "It does seem to be," Lisa says, patting Barbara gently on the shoulder. "We don't know for sure what's happened there just yet, but I'm trying to find out." "I take it this wasn't part of the plan." "Not at all," she tells Diluc. "This was only supposed to be a scouting mission. They must have found something very interesting indeed." She keeps her tone confident and unconcerned for Barbara's sake, hiding her own tension. The thought of Jean and Kaeya out there facing something that could have caused such tremendous chaos alone--or worse, having failed to face it, and lying injured somewhere--makes her chest ache with worry. A part of her wishes that she'd been there, though she knows there may not have been anything she could do. The best thing that she can do for them now, Lisa reminds herself, is to stay calm and in control and coordinate the emergency response. It's where her talents most lie. "Have you sent anyone to find out?" "Not yet. If it's something Jean and Kaeya can handle themselves, there's no rush, and if it's something that they can't, then there's no point in sending anything less than another captain to help them out. Noelle's gone up to Dragonspine to collect Captain Albedo, and I'm sure he'll set out as soon as she finds him." She's supposed to keep an eye out for Amber on her way, too; some advance scouting wouldn't go amiss in this situation. But she doesn't want to make Barbara any promises that she can't keep, and collecting Albedo is the higher priority. Amber is impressive for her age, but not nearly as strong, and incapable of dealing with the kind of earthquake or landslide that the evidence implies. "But...." Barbara blinks furiously, clearly fighting back tears, and shakes her head. She knows just as well as Lisa that Lisa is making the right choice for the situation, but Lisa can't blame her for her resistance. Behind her, Diluc is frowning. Lisa can see the wheels turning already, but a little nudge doesn't hurt. She deliberately gives him an arch smile. "You know, Master Diluc, I'm sure a former knight-captain would be just as capable as any of our current captains in an emergency."

...Which isn't the end of that conversation, but is the point where I realized I had to cut it, because I hit that line and realized that I wanted Diluc to have the agency of making that decision himself, but also (as I was writing it from his POV), he was coming to it too slowly to beat Lisa to the punch, because this would have been offering assistance directly to the Knights. So I cut out both problems by having Noelle summarize the situation, and making it a direct and immediate response to Barbara's desire to go herself.

As for Lisa's reaction when she returned, a combination of concern (because of the state they were both in--it didn't make it in, but I actually had it that Kaeya couldn't even take over for her for a couple of days because the Ordo has a policy re: concussions) and relief, because her friends were alive! She had to do the actual work of running the Ordo, and while both of its other top two members were out of commission to boot, so despite what she'd like to do (which was spoil them XD as well as Barbara and Noelle, who were both pretty bad off themselves after all that healing) she had to focus on doing three jobs solo for a while, which was probably even harder once news got about that Jean and Kaeya were both out of commission.

But once Kaeya recovered enough to take over, she unceremoniously took three day's leave and spent it sitting in the Cathedral infirmary drinking tea with Jean and Barbara (and keeping Noelle from working too hard by keeping her busy fetching and making tea for them), reassuring herself that everyone was all right! And sitting on the sisters just a little while she was at it. :3c

#asked and answered #why not meme i guess #fic nattering #lisa isn't lazy she's just efficient #(and imo fully capable of just steamrolling diluc)#(which is how i absolutely take that scene in the manga where he tells her about his father's death #given that it's an emotionally fraught memory for him and she's a near-stranger)

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ask-serendipity-sky · 9 months

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Queer JK/Shady Music Industry Anon here.

Thanks for replying to my ask.

I just wanted to add that I definitely agree with you that JM’s success was thwarted — no argument there.

I may not have been clear, but I was also making the point that YES, JM’s company-thwarted success was the price to pay for JK to blow up big, especially in the West, so he (and JM) can be more himself — live openly queer, announce his relationship with JM, sing whatever lyrics he wants to sing, etc.

It’s not about “romanticizing” anything though — I already talked about how shady the US music industry is. Because saying that implies that JK is throwing JM under the bus — though we know it’s the company doing that. And if JM chose to promote primarily in (smaller, more conservative) Korea, and JK in the (larger, more liberal) West, it makes sense that they were well aware of how both of them wanted this to play out.

Let’s give JM some agency here — why would he stay with a boyfriend who was actively undermining his achievements? Lol. Clearly, Jikook is fine.

Anyway, it’s OK that we disagree on some things. I just think this situation isn’t as simple as “JM is suffering and JK is soaring” because as queer people in a cutthroat industry, I’m sure they BOTH had to wrestle with some hard feelings to arrive at the current direction they (as a couple) chose to go in.

I think JK is in this with JM for the long haul and wants to ensure they have a great life to look forward to — whether they stay in/come back to Korea once it’s become safer for LGBTQ people.

This is in response to this post:

Hello again,

Hmmm. I still feel you are romanticizing it lol

"YES, JM’s company-thwarted success was the price to pay for JK to blow up big, especially in the West, so he (and JM) can be more himself — live openly queer, announce his relationship with JM, sing whatever lyrics he wants to sing, etc."

But see, I don't quite agree with this. I don't think that Jk is doing all this for love. I think he's doing it for his career.

Maybe he's doing it for love? But it's a theory that I haven't come to terms yet because I need to see more evidence that backs that up.

If I see more, I'll jump on board with it. Meanwhile? Nope.

Jikook SEEMS fine, yes. And it doesn't SEEM like Jimin is hurting, true. But what about Jimin's career? CLEARLY that has been affected.

Will you be able to say the same statement once award season comes and Seven takes awards that should have been for Like Crazy?

Seven with all the stuff we have seen and know and Like Crazy with all the stuff we seen and know.

And Seven wins.

Will you be able to say that Jimin is fine there?

Thanks for sharing.

#skyasks

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onomatopagu-et-cie · 7 months

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The Killing Vote (ep. 8 notes, part 2)

(SPOILERS UP TO EPISODE 8!!!!)

Part 1

General impressions on the episode Official character profiles Lee Minsu’s tattoo Three pictures missing in Kwon Seokju’s house Choi Jinsu, Min Jiyoung and Lee Minsu « If I were Gaetal… » and a triangulation orchestrated by Kwon Seokju and Lee Minsu

Part 2 (right here!)

Jihoon and Gaetal Jihoon’s name Joohyun, Kim Muchan, Kwon Seokju and the Killing Vote « The moment you perfectly understand… » The Gaetal Kwon Seokju’s departure

Part 3

Joohyun and Gaetal More on Joohyun’s scar and expressions Joomin and the ‘firecracker smell’ Kim Muchan and Gaetal What’s still not addressed (yet) The ‘witness’, chronology of some key events, where the story is going

This part goes in a lot of directions because the drama seems to show deliberately pretty unreliable narrations from every. single. character! A lot of points answer each other and you could theorize a lot about some scenes, that's why I highlighted what's left to be said in purple!

♦ Jihoon & Gaetal

In retrospect, you can interpret Jihoon’s behavior more clearly in the drama.

1) Jihoon's in-ear

They showed in this episode that Jihoon’s grandmother communicated with him through the same kind of in-ear!

Right before going to the hospital Cpt. Oh worked at, Jihoon says this though his in-ear (ep. 5):

« 저 이제 가요. »/‘I’m going now.’

The direction is once again omitted because it’s implied in the context: where he’s going to, nobody knows, except Jihoon and the person he’s on the phone with (one of the Gaetal probably).

Since he’s finished with school for the day, it was of course safe to assume he was going back home. For example, he could’ve added ‘저 이제 집에 (돌아)가요.’ if he intended to go home!

We already noticed this, but the glances he exchanged with JJW as he was taken hostage by Cpt. Oh was highly likely communication between the two (and Jihoon was reaaaally highkey waiting for Cpt. Oh to open that door when JJW arrived!).

In ep. 4, this conversation with Joomin now couldn’t make more sense:

« — Are you being nosy again? You want more trouble? You’re being a total nuisance now. — Should I just leave him, then? I’m sure he was taking photos of her. — Acting without solid evidence is just being nosy. You can’t even catch them that way. I know people like him pretty well. You need to collect more evidence and take them down in one swoop. — But while I do that, there will be more victims. — That can’t be avoided. — Now that’s a load of crap. I’d rather be a complete nuisance than a coward. Being a nuisance is better. »

2) The scenes in episode 3 (the last three sets of pictures)

In ep. 3, Jihoon was swallowing HARD when Joomin criticized Gaetal and said she’d quit admiring them once she saw they harmed a police officer.

② His exchange with Joohyun

There’s this interesting exchange with Joohyun when they tried to identify KSJ’s house:

« — Unless it’s a semi-basement by a street, a vehicle’s headlights wouldn’t light a room like this. This light… They’re probably emergency lights on a fire engine. For emergency lights to be this visible- — -A two-story house. [He uses present tense with ~이에요, which sounds declarative, like he’s certain of it and ofc he is given ep. 7 ; the sisters turn their attention to him in surprise] Then, it’s probably a two-story house. [He introduces probability by correcting himself with ~(으)ㄹ 거예요, which conveys a hypothetical tone in addition to 그렇다면/if… so: if emergency lights were this visible, then I suppose it’s a two-story house, not that I’m sure of it though *sweats*!]. »

And you can see how Joohyun let him off the hook once he changed the wording, he had a ‘Oh I know I just messed up’ kind of look and swallowed right after haha

(I’ll come back to this wording later in another point, because it could be relevant about KMC too! Keep this in mind!)

The moment Jihoon learned Joohyun had the video test (and had the keys to recognize KSJ’s house), he sounded insistant on going with Joohyun and quite positive something would happen there:

« — Then, call another cop at least. [Joomin is] just worried about you. — We don’t have enough manpower to ask for help on this. We’re on high alert. — Then, we should join you at least. If something happens, you need someone to call for help. »

He was probably aware one of his accomplices was there and tried to make sure they wouldn’t get caught: was it about JJW or someone else? Is it about the person who tagged Narae’s room and seemed to settle in as some sort of hideout for example (eg. the way the news articles are hung all over the wall)?

③ Jihoon's lack of reaction at Kwon Seokju's name

④ Jihoon's reaction upon seeing KMC (and at that, alive)

3) « I think he went too far this time. »

Given what we saw in ep7, this reaction could be a reference to:

— How KMC failed to arrest the true culprit with the toy plush Jihoon entrusted him through KSJ ;

— What Jihoon witnessed the day KMC arrested KSJ (which btw is extreme: your family suddenly crumbles ; the man who was about to adopt you murders someone and gets arrested in front of you)

(In the same scene, KSJ had to bid farewell to Jihoon first then KMC ;;)

— Or once again something only he knows for now about KMC/Joohyun/the person who fled and whatever happened at KSJ’s house that night.

♦ Jihoon’s name

You can see the hanja on his school file, when LMS is looking for his address.

金 for Kim (I believe it’s the only hanja for Kim): iron (쇠)/gold (금) ; by the way, 세금 (tax) is a paronym to the hanja’s name (쇠금), which is a lot brought up in Gaetal's speech (devils deemed innocent feeding off money, getting to enjoy a comfortable life with the tax people pay)!

智 for Ji in Jihoon: wisdom/wits (슬기/기지), talent (재능), trick/scheme (꾀).

曛 for Hoon in Jihoon (the shot is too blurry for this part haha): dusky/dim/gloomy (어스레하다 ; his character sheet also described him in this fashion), twilight/dusk (황혼).

♦ Joohyun, KMC, KSJ & the Killing Vote

I’ll start this point under the premise Joohyun is suspicious of KSJ. She sees KMC might still be in denial and calls him out on his bias: even though he was the first to vehemently accuse KSJ, he wouldn’t really believe it and went against the advice he gave Joohyun on how to confront KSJ.

At first glance, that’s what seemed to happen in this episode. I’ll explore other possibilities in this part of the notes and part 3!

« It’s always been clear. »

When Choi Jinsu doubts death row inmates would be targets for the next Killing Vote (they’re officially sentenced to death, Gaetal intends to punish those who evaded the law, so why would they target them?) and Joohyun’s analysis, she answers « I don’t know why yet, but my analysis is correct. Among all the letters from No. 1 Fan, those words suggested the target most clearly. »

Taking a quick glance at KSJ, she adds « It’s always been clear. » (언제나 다 완벽하긴 했죠.). She vaguely says ‘everything’ (다): you would naturally expect it’s about the subject at hand ie. the letters laying out the target clearly, but it could be about No. 1 Fan or Gaetal’s identity, whatever she's thinking about or the truth behind TKV.

완벽하다 means:

perfect, flawless, immaculate ie. complete without flaws or deficiencies,

exhaustive ie. thorough and complete,

but also pure ie. to describe sth such as a color, sound, type of light as pure, meaning it is very clear and represents a perfect example of its type,

and watertight ie. case/argument/agreement that has been so carefully put together that nobody will be able to find a fault in it.

Note: her sentence ends with ~죠. ~지 (informal)/죠 (formal) can turn a statement into a question (eg. what you would translate as ‘…, right?’ or ‘isn’t it?’) that you sort of already have an answer to without asking it. You just reaffirm your belief on a situation it in front of an audience, or reconfirm it (you ask for a verification eg. you could’ve forgotten it).

When it’s not used in a question (which you can guess by context, the use of interrogative words and intonation getting higher at the end of the sentence), ~지/죠 conveys obviousness and emphasizes the certainty of what’s said (eg. ‘of course’ I’ll do it!).

Joohyun’s intonation in this sentence is kinda vague (she also uses a lot ~죠 in her usual lines too) though, so you could keep in mind both meanings!

She averts her eyes from KSJ as soon as she says this and then scratches her scar (!!!!), suggesting she might’ve realized KSJ has always been Gaetal in the first place and she (as well as KMC, which is why she calls him out throughout the episode and suggested the idea to make KSJ meet LMS) has been deceived all along.

Note: btw nice color reminder between Joohyun’s fluorescent green sweat and the program displayed on her screen ; she’s the only one that stands out the most in this scene … curiously... !

Then we get these following shots:

1) Joohyun's comment leaves Kim Muchan absent-minded

In reaction to Joohyun's 'It's always been clear' (and her scratching her scar), KMC looked lost in thoughts, his eyes then widened as he clenched his jaw and swallowed. He looked away in the end and was brought back to the conversation in a daze once KSJ spoke.

2) Kwon Seokju's behavior

And all the while KSJ sounds like he’s literally on scouting night, surveying the best targets and trying to sound less suspicious by fully cooperating lmao:

« They make the perfect targets for the Killing Vote. (…) It’s convincing. To punishing those who deserve to die, JJW can’t be the only one who’s willing to sacrifice their life. »

Note: at the beginning of ep. 8, when they discover the astroturfing, KSJ also looks perplexed: « The motive. Like Team Leader Kim said, I don’t see why they have to instigate people before the vote. » It could come from his involvement with the ‘true’ Gaetal and the fact that LMS is messing with Gaetal’s usual modus operandi (it’s likely he’s the one astroturfing!).

KSJ's last sentence, « Jung Jinwook can’t be the only one who’s willing to sacrifice their life. », ends in ~ㄹ/을까, which is an interrogative marker:

-> when directing a question to oneself about oneself -> or a question to both oneself and an audience as acting agents of the sentence, sometimes conveying the speaker is asking for the latter’s opinion/permission eg. to help or service them [It will often be translated as ‘Should’ or ‘shall I/we…’] -> when asking about possibility to an audience, and the speaker is not the acting agent of the sentence (eg. ‘Do you think… ?’). KSJ’s sentence here is indeed about JJW.

But KSJ’s intonation was navigating between the interrogation and the affirmation and, most importantly, directed at KMC even though it’d look and sound as though he was addressing everyone in the room.

But he pointedly gauged KMC’s reaction (eg. does he believe what he’s saying? Is there still room for doubt?). Or are both of them communicating about something else entirely that only they know? Is KSJ expressing his opinion on something KMC is doing? Are they mapping something out?

If they’re involved with Gaetal, are they agreeing on sacrificing themselves too? Or KSJ is saying he has to put himself on the line too? (More on KMC’s possible involvement with the Killing Vote in ‘The Gaetal’ and other points! Some scenes with Joohyun also seem sometimes curious, I’ll talk about that later too!)

3) Kim Muchan's reaction in response

In any case, in return, KMC himself is observing (for whatever reason eg. doubt, nervousness, in search of answers, assent) KSJ first, then Joohyun, who leaves the room as she purses her lips and closes them shut (!!!!).

The next day, Joohyun also was about to say KMC she found something while investigating LMS but got interrupted by KSJ’s entrance????

In addition to this scene, the drama also used this framing in ep. 6 & 7 when KSJ, LMS, KMC, Joohyun, and Jihoon gathered:

Note: Joohyun and Jihoon were the ones gauging the trio KMC-KSJ-LMS alternatively! And I didn’t notice before, but KMC also seemed to have recognized Jihoon before looking at LMS! (And what did Joohyun record btw? DId that help her realize sth? What is this girl cooking????)

And ep. 7’s flashback between Joohyun, KMC, KSJ and LYS picked up by Min Jiyoung:

There were some other scenes I’ll mention below that used a similar positioning for the characters!

Joohyun’s call-out

She’s aware KMC doesn’t see clearly KSJ’s involvement and she has trouble addressing the elephant in the room in the episode (she either gets cut off or looks embarrassed) eg. when she addresses the ‘love letter’ at the end of the drama.

And it’s all thanks to a clever mix of:

guilt over guilt over guilt when it comes to KSJ & Narae,

complex opaque feelings left uncared/bottled for a very long time,

resentment and rage at LMS and himself,

KSJ’s cryptic behavior

Joohyun is not even let in on a thousandth KMC experienced! He’s been a champion at deflecting Joohyun’s attention (eg. with his ‘So? And so?’) and changing the subject whenever the case looked closely associated to him! And as it's shown in the drama, KMC never tells her about his bond with KSJ.

But in any case, even without sharing a past with KSJ, she also admits to being confused!

And KMC stands firm on the premise that « Gaetal is No. 1 Fan, and No. 1 is LMS. [So Gaetal must be LMS.] », but he’s not even aware this syllogism is shaky and fallacious unbeknownst to him (… unless?):

Note: actually for what it’s worth, it wasn’t his own premise at first, the idea came from Joohyun once KMC took the letters to her to analyze them.

Also, it’s possible this all an act: KMC is convinced KSJ is Gaetal but needs for whatever reason to muddy the waters in front of Joohyun (eg. protect KSJ, do something on his own, …).

Joohyun retorts:

— « I know Gaetal won’t [harm children]. But LMS could. He’s harmed a child before. LMS and Gaetal. I keep getting this feeling they aren’t the same person. Are you sure LMS is Gaetal? Maybe you just want him to be Gaetal. [Which was also foreshadowing KMC’s wishful thinking it wasn’t KSJ!] »

— « The motives should be the same too. The murder from 8 years ago had no motives, while the Killing Vote is seeking justice for all. JJW’s rage was for real. But how did LMS’s lust for murder and JJW’s rage align? I just don’t understand it. »

You can even see better in this episode how the case is eating at KMC without even looking clearly at the big picture, quite literally at that!

The drama indeed symbolizes KMC’s confusion with the chaotic mess of his notes (KSJ and Narae’s pictures are lost among that maze of papers) that’s eventually neatly cleared up by Joohyun (the first thing she does is put KSJ and Narae’s pictures plainly at the top). He finally opens his eyes in front of the notes, illuminated by bright light:

(btw once again Mozart’s Requiem is being played during this scene, more on that detail in Part 3!) Note: Joohyun’s name is also strongly associated to light (see my notes on ep. 7) so it’s really fitting!

« Lady Justice wears a blindfold because she’s afraid of bias in decisions. If you don’t look at cases and the people involved clearly, how can one pass fair judgment? Can judgments without experience be right? » being recalled during his realization puts the nail in the coffin because it could be applied to him acutely!

Note: ngl but since Joohyun commented on KMC’s chaotic organization of his papers and ideas, one could point out Narae’s wall is covered in news articles and whatnot in a similar disordered fashion as you can see in the second set of pictures (minus the handwriting & the post-it notes, but here the papers seemed taped here and there without any particular train of thinking unlike KMC’s).

« There will be another vote. Gaetal won’t do anything to kids. »

There’s another scene where you could feel two conversations were happening at the same time and from both sides:

① There will be another vote.

Kim Muchan’s change in wording is similar to Jihoon’s as I mentioned in Part 1:

KMC first says « 투표를 해. »: he uses the present tense here, it can sound pretty affirmative.

Note: Not to mention it could even be confused with an imperative form directed at Joohyun (because of one of its structure, ~아/어(요)): ‘Do/proceed with the vote.’ The absence of a subject, the shortness of the sentence & the informality used with Joohyun don’t help either. Once again, the only way to know whether the indicative present tense or the imperative was used is context!

In the flow of the conversation, it absolutely seems like the subject of this sentence is LMS or Gaetal since it's been the topic ; but Joohyun & his character are really opaque so it can be discussed.

② It’ll happen.

He then adds/corrects himself by saying « 할 거야. »: it's a supposition from his personal experience eg. how Gaetal or No. 1 Fan seemed determined through the investigation, or something we still don’t know as the audience.

This sentence is less assertive than the first one, he introduces probability like Jihoon did.

Note: Jihoon also commented in the same fashion in front of LMS: « It seems you’re [LMS] certain there will be another vote. You said ‘first vote’. » in ep. 2, to which LMS provides the excuse ‘Well, since the killer hasn’t been caught yet’. LMS was looking for Jihoon’s address (because a request for follow-up counseling was made), but there’s no indication as to who requested it, the counselor only says 'We've received a counseling request FOR the student Kim Jihoon.', not FROM him: Jihoon didn’t seem like he wanted it, I don’t think Joomin could have the possibility to do it on behalf of him, but LMS could have done it to further check Jihoon’s background (and where he lives could potentially lead him to a hideout).

③ Gaetal won’t do anything to kids.

Note: Ngl but KMC’s pause between ‘Gaetal’ and ‘won’t do anything to kids.’ + that wistful look in the last shot???? It’s definitely not coming from his official standpoint as a police officer… !

He uses here « 보이지 않아 » to mean ‘I don’t see/Gaetal doesn’t look like’ they’d lay their hands on children.

And this isn’t the first time one of the two was somehow vouching for Gaetal’s behavior when it comes to children: in ep. 4, Joohyun says « Judging by the conversation in the video, students must’ve filmed it. The Cyber Bureau had kept an eye online in case someone uploaded the video, but they didn’t find anything. And Gaetal can’t have approached the kids first. »

④ I know Gaetal won’t.

She says: « 개탈이라면 그렇죠. »/« [Naturally] that’s right if it’s Gaetal [we’re talking about]. »

Note: when it’s not used in a question, ~지/죠 conveys obviousness and emphasizes the certainty of what’s said (eg. ‘of course’ I’ll do it!), which sounds like Joohyun can also guarantee that for a fact!

Three levels can appear in this conversation:

— At surface-level, KMC wants to collect decisive evidence to catch LMS ; KMC reassures Joohyun because she’s worried about her sister since it’s highly likely LMS was involved in the SA and murder of children. Both know Gaetal wouldn’t harm children from what they learned in their investigation (eg. strong drive for justice ; choosing SA, CSE and child abuse cases as subjects for the votes) unlike LMS.

— KMC might be certain the vote will happen (note how the beginning of the ep. highlighted his decision to lay low until D-Day, unlike his usual drive to doggedly /lol pursue the investigation) ; he sounds like he’s (h i g h k e y) vouching for Gaetal’s integrity because he knows their identity/has a strong inkling of it (he discovered it or he knew all along for some reason or because he was a part of it since the beginning).

KMC could also be confirming to Joohyun the true vote will happen despite whatever LMS is actually doing to mess with the vote (they don’t know it’s KMC he’s targeting).

Joohyun seems to agree because she also knows Gaetal’s identity and perhaps to the same extent (she discovered it through her analyses or she's working with Gaetal). She insists Gaetal and LMS are not the same person and that’s KMC’s wishful thinking.

— Moreover, if Joohyun and KMC are both part of Gaetal and they’ve each realized it, KMC’s ‘If we stop here, we’re admitting that Jung did it alone.’ could also be them confirming they have to take action so that LMS does not escape. It sounds similar to whatever KSJ meant by ‘JJW can’t be the only one willing to sacrifice their life.’

Kwon Seokju’s entrance

In the first set of pictures below, KSJ’s entrance also introduced this weird atmosphere between the three (also, did KSJ manage to overhear parts of their conversation?):

This is some gold cockblocking btw lmao, the janitor is totally oblivious to whatever is happening between the three, happily munching on his chocolate bar 8D

LMS’s meeting with KSJ was also framed the same way in the last picture.

♦ « The moment you perfectly understand… »

When debriefing at his home, KMC said something interesting: « The moment you perfectly understand the criminal’s motives, you become a criminal too. »

Both him and Joohyun had curious reactions to his words:

And of f*cking course that doesn’t mean anything! Neither for him, KSJ or Joohyun:

♦ The Gaetal

Their identities & numbers:

We don’t know the taxi driver’s no. (and that’s the only one at that) but we got his identity ;

No. 2 is Jihoon’s grandmother (as it’s revealed later by Jihoon) ;

No. 4 is Jung Jinwook, which is ironic considering 4 is closely associated to death in SK, like in China fex. since the sino-korean numeral for 4, 四/사 is a homophone to the hanja for death, 死/사, and he was the one charged to be the executor)

No. 5 (the ‘betrayer’) could be LMS or the taxi driver. Note: Not only LMS but also the taxi driver showed up at BGC’s funeral as shown in ep. 5!

If we’re to assume the number of ‘founder’ Gaetals (sounds like they’re shareholders haha, idk how to word it differently 8D) actually matches the number of desks in the room + No. 1 Gaetal, that leaves us with No. 1 (unless it’s KSJ), 3, 5 (if it’s neither the taxi driver or LMS) & 6’s unknown identities.

Also what intrigues me is that all the Gaetal were present according to No. 1 (last picture above).

Does this mean the unused desks were not vacant? Or are there other members who couldn’t be present/had no reason to except for No. 1?

No. 3 only expressed his discomfort over how No. 1 was never present, so this could suggest nobody else was absent.

‘watchdog5’:

Choi Dohee received KMC’s video tip (showing he was still alive) from the mail address ‘[email protected]’ in ep. 4 ; we also know this video was found on Seorae High’s computer LMS used AND he sent it to ‘executor’.

If the mail address is not random (eg. you sometimes put random generated numbers to create a valid e-mail address because others were already taken):

→ Either it’s LMS who’s Gaetal No. 5 ;

→ Or it’s this ‘executor’ (LMS looked like he approached ‘executor’ on purpose as occasional occurrences, like all these Gaetal fans we now see recruited through a more sophisticated way) He was to pay the ‘executor’ for something he requested him, as it’s shown in ep. 2: « — No change of plan, right? — Don’t worry. Wire the money. — I’ll wire the remaining half once the job is done as agreed… » In ep. 1, LMS gave ‘executor’ the go-ahead to whatever he asked them, and it coincided with the Killing Vote’s first message, so the drama makes it seem TKV's launch was his doing. In ep. 3, LMS says he has ‘an interesting video’ and the ‘executor’ asks him to prove it’s authentic.

→ Or Gaetal No. 5 is another person.

However, it makes me wonder if the ‘executor’ he communicated with was Jung Jinwook?

Broadcasts & modified voices:

→ No. 1 had the deepest voice and also quite breathy/sighing (if that makes sense haha) ; their delivery is pretty controlled unlike No.3.

→ No. 2 had a rather higher pitched voice (even nasal) and you can recognize Jihoon's grandma's modulation of her voice and the soft tone conveyed with her sentences ending in ~죠.

→ No. 3 has a deeper voice than the taxi driver (but less than No. 1) ; their delivery sounds strained/tense and when they first arrived in their car, their breathing sounded like the ones in the video test AND KMC whenever he sighs.

→ The taxi driver had a moderately deep voice but still with that laid-back/humourous tone

If each Gaetal has a modified voice personally generated for them and doesn’t change, you can theorize:

→ The first vote against Bae Gichul seemed broadcasted by No. 3

→ The second vote against Uhm Eungyeong might’ve been presented by the taxi driver (the playful/sarcastic tone also matches ; or it's LMS)

→ The third vote against Cpt. Oh was aired by Jihoon’s grandmother

→ The fourth ‘fake’ vote against Kim Muchan was likely broadcasted by LMS: the little breath intakes between some pauses, the whimsical intonation yo-yoing in a nonchalant way, how his speech gets carried away for short moments, and the mannerism look like how LMS would be!

Note: All the Gaetals in the scene speak formally between them. This was not the case of the Gaetal in the video test! Be it coincidental or not, Gaetal’s address to the person they destined the video test to sounded eerily similar to KMC’s address to Gaetal in front of the journalists: Gaetal in the video test: « Just you wait. I’m coming for you. » / « 기다려. 내가 너 잡으로 간다. » KMC to Gaetal: « I’m going to catch you no matter what. » / « 내가 너 반드시 잡는다. » KMC also generally uses the informal/casual 1st-person pronoun 나 and not 저! Still on the topic of voices, Gaetal in the video test had a similar accentuation of the 's' sounds, like KMC often does himself sometimes.

About No. 1:

We learned more about the ‘leader’ through the taxi driver’s comments: « Does anyone know who and where that No.1 guy is? » & « No. 1, you have so much to do. This time, you’ll have to manage those in the field as well. »

Obviously, given the end of the episode, we are led to believe KSJ is No. 1, who planned the Killing Vote, but KSJ’s behavior might also hint it’s more complicated than that.

Aside from KSJ, Jihoon comes to mind for No. 1’s position. On that note, we don’t even know what No. 1 exactly does (eg. hacking, administrating the voting system, ‘recruiting’ members, laying out plans, … ?), except for the fact that they’re usually not ‘on the field’ and they’re to replace whatever No. 4 used to do.

This Gaetal appears in this scene (note it’s shot in the usual room the broadcast is done, with the law provisions on sentences and capital punishment inscribed on the walls!).

They seem to communicate with the Gaetal ‘candidates/volunteers’ (oh goodness, and now it seems like job applications or a charity, this is wrong haha), just like Jihoon is doing.

There’s also that extreme astroturfing part that stands out: is it the same individual who also does this? This episode suggests it only began recently. And in the replies they wrote, they used excerpts and keywords from KSJ’s law book, so it could be LMS’s own game.

About No. 2:

What’s also mentioned in this scene is that « one of the death row inmates is No. 2’s mortal enemy. »????

It’s highly probable it’s the white-haired old man we saw when Jihoon pleaded his grandmother to stop, she seemed really torn and looked frustrated when she had to abandon.

« Currently, the Korean Criminal Code regulates the death penalty as a form of punishment for some crimes according to Article 41 of the Penal Code. These crimes include mutiny (Article 87), collusion with foreign countries (Article 92) and murder (Article 250), robbery-homicide (Article 338), and other (Article 12). Under the Juvenile Law (Article 59 of the Juvenile Law), persons under the age of 18 cannot be put to death. » Note: ………. it’s also worth to mention that the circumstances surrounding the murder of KMC’s mother could look like a robbery-homicide: a man clad in black and with a cap, hidden in one of the rooms until KMC came back home, fled the scene while KMC was too shocked to react (I’ll talk about KMC's dream in Part 3!). Note 2: And that there was another death row inmate who was targeted by Gaetal, whether the target shared a past with another Gaetal or not!

About No. 3:

No. 3, the Gaetal who gets out after No. 2, seems really built, while for other Gaetal, the suit's shoulders fit a little more loosely!

-> About the car…

LMAO I rewatched ep. 2 and KMC’s car seems to be the same model (though I’m still quite unsure about the hood because it was too dark in ep. 8) and the car plate has all its numbers in common in a different order except for the 3 at the beginning, replaced by a 2 … ?

The two cars look grey, but the one in ep. 8 was under flashy red or dark blue lighting (they might deliberately keep the answer less obvious)!

The drama emphasized a LOT that detail (when KMC went inside the prison and when he exited the prison!), they zoomed in for quite some time! The car is also shot once again in the episode when they rush to find the car who took BGC away.

KMC’s is also the closest number combination compared to others’ in the drama eg. LMS = 14버 1223 ; Joohyun = 16도 2888!

The plate of ep. 8’s car has two screws while the other had only one: is one of the two fake? Not to mention that, from a distance, the indicators 다 (No. 3's) and 마 (KMC's car) look pretty similar by one stroke's difference!!!!

(Remember Joohyun saying everyone comes back to their habit eventually no matter how hard they plan things!)

EDIT: CJS tilted when Jodan said: « You can easily learn how to avoid CCTV cameras online. There are a lot of online communities where those with criminal records share cops’ plate numbers and schedules of crackdown. », same as KMC ; if CJS is working for LMY, could he have found a lead to find out how KMC evades his surveillance (since he changes car plates)... ?

Also yes, the taxi driver commented he was damn fast and the scene in ep. 2 shows him literally step on the gas to the point that he raises the dust in one sweep… to the point that the dust conceals the plate!

Not to mention his history of savage driving (eg. with Uhm Eungyeong ; when he suddenly took the wheel to turn the car back to the hospital in ep. 5) lmao

What the taxi driver says can even be a wordplay:

→ He says: « 더럽게 빠르네. »

→ 더럽게 is an adverb that comes from 더럽다 (dirty ie. dirty or filthy due to dirt/residue ; nasty/foul ie. person’s conduct or mind being bad and wicked ; dirty/mean/indecent ie. a person’s remark or behavior thought to be very offensive and shameless), but in this form it’s often informally used to exaggerate & mean ‘so much/too/overly’ for example!

→ The car they used to transfer KSJ and on which Joohyun often gets on, but never KMC, is from a cleaning service and you can see the ‘Clean’ sign on its side!

In ep. 5, when KSJ first arrives in his new cell and checks his surroundings (that KMC checked beforehand and in a similar way), the janitor comments: « Look at all the dust. »

And... The Mu in Muchan can be written as 霧 (mist/fog/haze).

What the janitor used is the generic 먼지 (dust eg. raised from cars or found on bookshelves) ; fine dust (created from vehicles’ emissions, wildfires, burning fuels for example) is called 미세먼지 and oh, surprise! The hanja for this comprises the hanja for mist (霧霾 ; the second hanja means 흙비, dust/sandstorm). Fine dust contributes to air pollution and …………….. yes, on foggy days, the fine dust concentration surges to the point it can alter visibility.

Note: In ep. 5, KSJ comments to Joohyun: « I didn’t know the air was so fresh in the morning. »

At home, Joohyun checked her smart watch tracking KSJ’s position then focused on the camera footage of the cell.

Speaking of fine dust, they even did a product placement with an air purifier in ep. 4 in the special investigation team lmao (last picture above):

« — I’m feeling so stuffy. I can’t breathe. — Don’t be selfish. You’re blocking it. The air isn’t circulating properly. — Why don’t you turn on the AC then? — God, just move. Then, everything will be fine. — Turn up the purifier. We all need to cool off. »

Dust could be a symbol of KMC's unreliable narration and involvement with Gaetal.

Back to the shot of the car and No. 3’s silhouette from behind, this does look like KMC’s hairstyle from behind (you know, the hair done and pushed to the side!).

-> The taxi driver's reaction

In the first set of pictures, what the taxi driver did in this scene looked like he was trying to catch up to this Gaetal to identify them (he glanced at the camera above and looked as though he recognized someone/realized something).

KMC did interview him when BGC was murdered. Did he vaguely recognize the car plate or something else hinting at KMC's identity? Here’s how he was introduced in ep. 2:

« — [Choi Jinsu:] Mr. Ko Dongkyu? — Yes, that’s me. I heard that you were asking for me. — [Choi Jinsu:] We’re from the Nambu Police Agency. You came in quickly. — My shift just ended. — My name is Kim Muchan. »

The taxi driver then bows and slowly looks at him.

Now this is really farfetched, but KMC really didn’t have to introduce himself, CJS already did it beforehand and the camera lingered on both the taxi driver and his expressions for some time! Was this a subconscious need to make sure people are made aware it's (seemingly) the first time they meet?

Also the person behind No. 3’s mask couldn’t be a minor eg. Jihoon since they’re driving (the build also doesn’t match).

-> No. 3’s gait

My eyes might trick me but their gait also looked like that scene KMC walked that long corridor after KSJ accused him of being Gaetal (ep. 5) + when he stormed off when KSJ said what mattered was that KMC wanted to kill Cpt. Oh (ep. 6)!

Like, they make us watch a random masked dude walking all the way through the parking for more than 5 seconds…………… ?

I’ll have a PhD in overthinking shoulders and silhouette at this point I’m a mess 8D

These two scenes also felt similar and happened in the same episode, No. 3 and KMC standing in the other's way in a protective posture:

Oh Min Jiyoung was so ready to slap Joohyun like she did in the past with KMC, glad he stopped her! And LMS was just There, watching his favorite comedy and chilling lmao

Also, each vote ended with KMC always finding leads but somehow he always arrives a little too late, even with Cpt. Oh’s case!

-> « Wipeout »

Ngl it would be comedy if KMC was No. 3 given his irl nickname is « Ssaksseuri »/싹쓰리: in the first episode, KMC used it as his username to bust the streaming site.

The ‘sseuri’ sounds like 3 in English ; it should be written 싹쓸이 but the spelling was changed a bit to emphasize the wordplay with the number 3 (eg. when Yu Jaeseok, Lee Hyori and RAIN formed a group they called SSAK3).

It would be a fun wordplay as a parallel to what they did with justice15/No. 1 Fan!

Note: ‘Wipeout’ also sounds similar to one part of Gaetal’s speech in the video test even though it’s slang (쓸어버리다 was used in ‘eradicate them all’ and it also means… sweep/wipe out LOL).

And according to Jodan, he’s also nicknamed the « official SOB of the Nambu Police Agency », using ‘개쌔끼’ (개, dog, you know…)!

-> KMC is used to seeing in the dark

Finally, it might be a reach but this moment in ep. 2, where the main focus is the comic relief between CJS and Jodan, could show KMC is pretty used to seeing in the dark (ie. behind Gaetal’s mask maybe?) and was blinded, while other characters like Choi Jinsu were shown not minding it (eg. even random lights showing in their faces as they all scattered to search for the cable):

And the drama makes a clear point of highlighting the scene was really dark, Choi Jinsu comments: « How can we search when it’s so dark in here? Let’s call it a night and head home. »

Jodan:

He was communicating with 'No. 1' (note this was before the Killing Vote happened) as you can see on the first set of pictures below:

Btw bro is tooooooootally unbothered to check these texts during an investigation that could involve him lmao

This is roughly what the chat says:

« — Gaetal No. 1: Are you ready? (준비가 되셨습니까?) — Jodan: It’s an errand from a gunshot patient (총성환자의 심부름입니다) — GN1: [What about] the content? (내용은?) — J: [I/they said to] deliver [it] in person, without fail (반드시 직접 전달하라고) Note: ~(으)라고 is added to quote an order/command, but we don’t know who’s behind said order in this text. From context, we could say it’s the ‘gunshot patient’? It could also be an order from another Gaetal/Jihoon/KSJ/LMS who’s specific about this detail of the errand. — GN1: April 20, 5:00 p.m. Injeong Park Game Arcade (4월 20일 17시 인정공원 X게임장) » (This episode is set in April and the vote happened, so April 20 should be set a few days after the episode’s events!)

To which he weakly adds in front of Joohyun: « I told them I didn’t want to do direct deals though. »????

But in the chat, it was Jodan who was talking about a collection in person… ? Was he perhaps showing his disagreement to this order (provided the order wasn’t coming from him)… ?

And what’s that bit about a ‘gunshot patient’ (총성환자) … ???? Jihoon said JJW/whoever fled KSJ’s house smelled like ‘firecrackers’ (ie. potentially gunpowder)… Gunshot patient … ?

A patient from Jihoon’s grandmother… ?

Speaking of deliveries, Jihoon is seen picking up a mug (but there could be more to it than that) in the first episode, is it linked to whatever the chat is about? There’s also this scene in ep. 8 where KMC tasks Jodan to contact the janitor (and potentially the warden) about a ‘book’.

Note: (I’m highkey overthinking this too much haha) Jodan exits Narae’s room after this scene and KMC appears only a few moments later, did they communicate somehow 8D?

For what it’s worth, it’s Jodan who coined the name ‘Gaetal’!

And in ep. 3, he momentarily stopped his search for a wiretapping device/suspicious emitting waves as soon as he saw the tag on the wall, as though he was reminded of something/understood something (see the second set of pictures above!).

The USB drives:

I’m sure it’ll be an important hint later ; they were shown when the taxi driver smashed the screens that were broadcasting KMC’s vote:

(Reach Land but Jodan seems to love bright red for ex. one of his headphones and his sneakers!)

The program used in the Killing Vote (Joohyun... ?):

The program used to index and select the next targets seems to be the same Joohyun personally uses in the investigation. Joohyun’s efforts were first addressed in ep. 2:

And of course the assertion that criminals stay true to their pattern also applies to the one it originated from, she’s no exception!

Note that no target was saved even with the help of her database at the Police Agency that she guaranteed to be able to overtake Gaetal, while on the other side Gaetal’s votes were all successful: she could’ve totally swapped the databases and given the one at the Police Agency less accurate criteria to find the targets.

She sounds competent enough to fiddle with it neither too much nor too little so that this version would still find the target (but perhaps not in enough time, or find homonyms for ex.). The police would then still find it reliable enough to keep using it without arising suspicions.

She also said to KSJ in ep. 5:

« I’m just a little worried. Skilled hackers always leave a couple of exits open. Eye-catching doors are fake. What they actually use is the so-called ‘back door’. It’s a path where one’s skills work the best. And if it isn’t discovered, they sometimes just leave it there after they’re done. From what I’ve observed, Gaetal sems to have the characteristics of a hacker. » Was she laying out her own modus operandi with a potential database swap... ? She pointedly shows to the team the database is THE tool she uses to help them, but she could also be using something else, a trump card that biases everything!

Sangjae also commented on Cpt. Oh’s case: « This is like buying lottery tickets. Nothing is certain. Joohyun, I know you worked really hard on the analysis, but is this really reliable? »

Also in ep. 8, you get once more a reminder Joohyun is self-confident about her analysis in front of the team:

« — [Choi Jinsu:] Gaetal said the Killing Vote was to punish those who evaded the law. But those on death row have been officially sentenced to death. So what’s the point of voting? Maybe you’re wrong. — I don’t know why yet, but my analysis is correct. »

If she’s a part of Gaetal, working at the Cyber Bureau (and her hacking skills) definitely gives her more than relevant information to build her true database and find adequate targets.

Cue KMC’s reaction, halting in front of the database as though he tilted to whatever was of interest to him (did he recognize it from somewhere… ? Like… from a meeting with Gaetal… ?):

Note: of course, it’s the ideal shot to foreshadow Uhm Eungyeong’s vote and transition to her first scenes at first glance but now that we saw the kind of database Gaetal had to select targets, it could have an underlying meaning to it, it’s too uncanny!

There was also this in ep. 4 and KMC seemed to hesitate to give her the letters and raised his eyebrow as he watched her analyze the data:

As she’s reading through one of No. 1 Fan’s letters, an interesting detail is that her voice also gets merged with a Gaetal’s voice (around 56’).

You also can see her database in ep. 5 (the first picture below!).

In this scene, KSJ understood why they put Joohyun to his case because she’s good (????). Joohyun claims her database is a technique used to track hackers, but she gave it a little tweak, « People tend to prefer what’s familiar to them more often than you’d think. No matter how hard you rack your brain, in the end, you can get more information using keywords. »

In conclusion, all this could mean:

— She herself is involved in TKV ;

— Someone at the Police Agency (KMC and his team, or Jodan) could’ve used/stolen her program ;

— She also says this in the same episode, even though we don’t know if she’s talking about the same kind of database:

Which means anybody in the police could have access to it (not to mention someone could obtain it from the outside eg. connections, hacking)… provided it’s not a lie to cover herself!

Also, why did KSJ specifically request for Joohyun to communicate in ep. 5 (more on that in Part 3)?

‘Donpanic’:

In ep5, we discovered that ‘LoveIs TheKey’ is Cpt. Oh’s username on Loki/Tor to trade his spy cams. His username was displayed on LMS’s laptop when he was chatting with ‘executor’ (in ep. 1 & 3).

AND most importantly: this ‘Donpanic’ guy hacked Cpt. Oh’s laptop to erase their chat with him, delete all his posts on Loki/Tor and the stock of videos he was selling.

It’s safe to say it’s not LMS (username ‘justice15’) that did it (neither the ‘executor’, eg. JJW if they really worked together), unless he had created multiple accounts.

Is it somebody else working with Gaetal that’s not been revealed yet (eg. Jihoon, Jodan, Joohyun)?

Note: ep. 8 revealed Jodan has been arrested for hacking into people’s computers!

The first No. 1 Fan letter:

Finally, what exactly was the content of the very first letter LMS sent KSJ?

— For him to go this mad to the point of being sent to solitary confinement (note he also looked despaired once KMC whispered he wasn’t Gaetal in ep. 7) ;

— For him to decide from this point on to organize the Killing Vote (if it’s the case, there’s still some room for doubt on how the whole thing unfolded) ;

— Is it linked to how he was this certain No. 1 Fan was KMC all this time (until ep. 6)?

— Did LMS make an uncanny impersonation of KMC and disclose personal information that could trace back to Gaetal’s ‘true’ identity? Which is why it was the only letter that was totally thrown away, while only some pages from other letters were discarded (that indicated the future targets for the votes)?

Did he reference something about KMC or KSJ he found in the wiretapping device we saw in ep. 3 or in another way?

— Could this be linked to KSJ’s desire to confirm KMC was sincere in ep. 7? Ie. be it in regard to the part about KMC denying being Gaetal or about KMC targeting LMS first if he were Gaetal. Could this have contradicted/aligned with whatever was written in the first letter?

— It’s interesting to keep in mind what LMS said in this episode: « I enjoyed reading your replies too. I was worried you might hate me, but you showed me you completely understood me. It meant we were finally communicating properly, which reassured me. »

♦ KSJ’s departure

KSJ arranged his cell room and was getting ready just like he did in his house when he planned to murder BWT in ep. 7 (also interesting how the notes they provided him at the Police Agency remained untouched, weren’t reorganized by him nor written on by him unlike KMC’s, because well… he has nothing to figure out about the Killing Vote, everything was already settled and he knew everything haha):

Part 3 is next!

#국민사형투표 #the killing vote #tkv #kdrama

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summerwritesfics · 2 years

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🏢I Wanna, I Wanna Stay ‘Til The End, Chapter 1 - But In The Morning, It Might Just Change

Pairing: Rain/Kuai Liang Length: 5483 Words Rating: Explicit 🔞 Warnings: Neighbours AU, Modern AU, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Medical Procedures, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Past Cheating, Cockblocking, Eventual Smut, Is it slowburn if the sex is fast but the emotions are slow?, Minor Tanleena, Anxiety, NGL like 70% of this fic is me cockblocking Rain lol

I Wanna, I Wanna Stay ‘Til The End Masterlist

Notes: Once upon a time, Summer had a rarepair that made no sense to anyone but them and they went “fuck it” and decided to make it everyone else’s problem. Again, I wrote this back in like December as some weird self indulgence, because I literally kept daydreaming about it so started writing stuff down. I actually have chapter 2 mostly written out too but that’s gonna wait to be finished until after October so lmao. Fic will mostly be kinda light hearted, but both Rain and Kuai have pretty rough pasts and while I do not intend to explicitly write that past, they will think and talk about them eventually. I will put warnings in the chapter notes if any of those darker subjects do come up :) (Why Do I always go with modern au’s for my rarepairs, wtf is that all about?) Fic title is from “Heavenly” by Pale Waves and chapter 1’s title is from “Television Romance” by Pale Waves, because once again, I am clearly going through something here lol. There’s some very vague hints towards past domestic abuse in this chapter, as well as a direct reference to past infidelity.

Rain finished pouring his coffee, turning around to survey his new surroundings.

It wasn't the biggest apartment in the world, and it definitely wasn't the best looking, given the majority of his furniture was brought last minute from a thrift store. But it was all his. He had worked his ass off, saved up his money for the deposit, made sure he's be able to pay the rent and bills every month. He hadn't needed a penny from his father, unlike his brothers. He had done this on his own.

He was so proud of himself, even if no one else was.

If only mom could see me.

He shook his head. He hadn't even known his mother, she'd died when he was an infant. Yet he often wondered what his life would have been like had she lived. If he's not been forced to live with his dismissive father, Rain a symbol of his infidelity that needed to be swept under the rug.

He shook his head. That didn't matter any more. What mattered was the future and how now he's made such progress he wasn't going to let anything stop him.

First however, he needed to finish his coffee and then get to work. All of this wouldn't pay for itself after all.

He drank it as quickly as he could, did a quick double check to make sure he'd got everything and he hadn't accidentally left anything on. Satisfied he grabbed his keys and headed to the door. He locked up and went down the corridor. As he got to the stairwell, he headed to the elevator.

There was another man standing outside waiting for it to come, though even as Rain approached he didn't acknowledge him. As Rain stood next to him, he couldn't help but take a curious peak at him. He was asian, looked a little older than him but shorter by quite a few inches, short black hair, blue eyes and a trim beard. He had a large and striking scar on the one side of his face. He was wearing a blue jacket with a fluffy white fur trim.

The more he stared, the more he felt something stirring in him. This man was undeniably gorgeous and the more Rain observed him, the more details jumped out to him. Rain sure wouldn't mind having a man like that on his arm.

The man's eyes flicked over to him, and he looked quite startled. Rain couldn't blame him, he had been staring rather intently.

"Ah, good morning," he awkwardly greeted, hoping it would stem some of the creepiness.

"Good morning," the man returned, smiling and nodding his head slightly.

"So... Do you live here?" Rain realised how absolutely weird he was coming across. He wasn't normally this awkward when it came to people he found attractive, why was this man so different?

"Um. Yes?" The man said wearily, raising an eyebrow. Rain grimaced realising once again that could be quite an ominous seeming question. "Do you?"

"Yeah, I uh, just moved in over the weekend," Rain informed him, hoping maybe that would stem any potentially menacing vibes and make it seem more like he was anxious about meeting his new neighbours.

The man seemed to relax at this a bit, as he asked "ah, number 33?"

"That's right." Rain scratched the back of his head. "Guess you noticed the movers."

"I did." The man looked over his shoulder towards the corridor. "I'm in 34, so it was hard to not notice."

"34? So, you live in the apartment opposite then?" He asked, trying to not feel as giddy about a hot guy living across the way from him as he did. The man nodded. "I'm Ranjit, but everyone calls me Rain."

"Kuai Liang," was the reply he got, followed by him reaching his hand out. Rain took it and shook without question.

Seconds later, the elevator rang out and the doors opened. Rain gestured for Kuai to go first, seeing as he'd been waiting longer. He got an appreciative smile. Rain couldn't help but look down slightly as he followed behind. Kuai's trousers were fairly tight, and along with the rest of him, he had a really quite nice ass too. He made sure not to look too long however, nothing like introducing yourself to your neighbour and then completely alienating him by acting like a horny teenager.

Kuai clicked the button for the 1st floor, standing back as the door closed behind them. Rain got this far he might as well continue with the small talk.

"So, how long have you lived here?" Rain asked, leaning against the wall.

"About 3 years," Kuai stated, fiddling with the zipper of his jacket. "It's a nice enough place, no one really causes any problems."

"Good to know." It was a relief. Before this he'd lived with his friends, Mileena and Tanya, for years and to say they had troublesome neighbours was an understatement. "Do you live with anyone?" Rain couldn't see a ring on Kuai's fingers but that didn't mean he didn't have someone.

"No, no it's just me," he confirmed, shyly pushing a strand of hair behind his ear. "What about you?"

"Just me as well," Rain said with a grin. "First time living without room mates."

"That's nice," Kuai said softly but genuinely. "It's strange to get used to, but it's nice to just have your own space, y'know?" He stopped fiddling and just stared down for a minute. "A bit lonely, sometimes, but..."

Kuai never finished his sentenced, just stared down with a frown on his face. There was something odd about that, but Rain had a feeling whatever was causing such a wistful look was off limits, at least for now.

"Well, at least I have a nice neighbour to keep me company," he tried instead, trying not to laugh at the way Kuai's head snapped up.

He stammered slightly, a light blush coming over his cheeks. He finally settled on a small smile that somehow managed to make him look even shyer, and a whisper of "I guess you do, yes."

The elevator doors slid open, and Rain yet again let Kuai go first, trying to not let his eyes linger on that perfect ass too long. As they reached the front door, Kuai pushed it open, this time letting Rain go first.

"Well," Kuai sighed as he stepped out himself, letting the door lock behind him. "I'm off that way." Kuai pointed in the opposite direction from where Rain was going to have to go for work.

"Ah, well, this is where I'll have to leave you for now then," Rain tried to not sound too disappointed. "Hopefully I'll catch you later."

"Hopefully," Kuai agreed, "until then."

Both men turned away and went their separate ways. Rain couldn't help glancing over his shoulder, taking one last look at Kuai's ass as he walked away.

I have got to fuck him.

He sighed, looking straight and continuing his walk to work. If there was any time he wanted his life to devolve into a romantic comedy, it was right now.

"So, is everything to your liking?"

Kuai no longer had his coat on and could no longer play with the zipper, instead playing with the hem of his t-shirt instead. His eyes were fixed on Hanzo across the table as he read through Kuai's latest article.

He had no idea why this still made him nervous. He'd been doing this for years, he'd known Hanzo for years, both socially and professionally. The man had very rarely requested changes.

So why were his hands shaking so much?

"This all looks good, like always," Hanzo replied with a smile. "I'm sure my editors will do some nitpicking like always but there are no major re-writes needed." He put the papers down. "I'll have Ayame send the rest of your paycheck." Hanzo reached for his phone to call her.

Kuai let himself breathe again. Freelance magazine articles weren't really his main income, but the extra money between novels certainly didn't hurt. He didn't even really need to keep working or writing, he could probably live off the money he got from royalties, but he liked keeping himself busy.

"So, how are things?" Hanzo's voice cut through his thoughts and made him jump slightly. The other mans brow saw drawn together. "We didn't really get to talk last time you were here."

"Fine," Kuai tried, desperately trying to maintain eye contact so Hanzo might think he was telling the truth. Still the intensity with which Hanzo stared at him was a little too much. Hanzo was an intense person in general, and sometimes talking to him felt like being in a burning room, inhaling smoke and ash.

"Kuai Liang," Hanzo said quietly, his features softening but that fire was still burning away in his eyes. "I know you don't like to talk about these things, but if you're struggling-"

"It's not- I'm not struggling, not really." Kuai bit his lip, hard enough that he could feel it ache. "Things have been actually kind of okay lately. Anxiety aside." He bunched up the hem of his shirt, trying to find anything to keep himself distracted while he had this conversation. "I'm almost finished the first draft of my next book. Johnny is looking to turn another of my books into a film. I have this. Things are... things are good."

"You know your work isn't what I'm talking about." Kuai winced because yes, he did know that.

"I know," he said lowly, rubbing the back of his head slightly. "I really am okay though. Doctor says I may need another surgery but he's happy with how I've healed from the last one. I'm leaving the house more, I don't feel as trapped..." He paused desperately trying to think of something else that might provide evidence things were improving. His mind went back to that morning in the elevator and the man who seemed extremely eager to talk to him. "Oh! I have a new neighbour and I actually talked to him this morning!"

Hanzo blinked a few times, "you begun a conversation with a stranger?"

"I- Well," Kuai stuttered, before giving Hanzo a sheepish grin. "Technically he started the conversation." It was a start though, at least in Kuai's mind. There was a time where he'd have just completely ignored the conversation. Granted it would have been more out of fear for the consequences should a certain someone catch him, but that was a whole other barrel of issues. "He was a bit... awkward."

"No offence Kuai, but that's a bit rich coming from you," Hanzo teased, thankfully all that intense worry disappearing. It seemed Kuai had said enough to convince Hanzo he was okay.

"I'm not awkward, I'm anxious, it's two completely different issues," Kuai dismissed with a wave of his hand. "He seems nice though, so hopefully he won't be a problem neighbour."

"Well, if he ever does become a problem, I'll sort him out." The declaration wasn't an unusual one, but still caught Kuai off guard slightly.

"You sound like you're intending to beat the shit out of him," Kuai exclaimed with a snort.

"No," Hanzo said in a tone that indicated that's exactly what he was intending. "Well, only if I have to."

"You know when Bi-Han asked you to look after me, I'm pretty sure beating the shit out of people who upset me wasn't what he had in mind." It was strange, how seriously Hanzo took a promise from so many years ago. But Hanzo and Bi-Han had been best friends, and maybe after Bi-Han's death, this was the one thing he felt he could do for his late friend.

"Really? The amount of people he beat up for you?"

Kuai paused at that, before grimacing "yeah in retrospect that's probably exactly what he meant."

Maybe it was better that Bi-Han wasn't around for Kuai's divorce and the subsequent criminal trial. Kuai's ex would have been dead the second the details of their relationship entered his ears. But then, maybe if his brother had been there, things would have never gotten to the point they had.

Kuai didn't really want to think about that right now though.

"Anyway, I'm sure you have work to do, and I have a few things I need to do while I'm out," Kuai announced, thankful that Hanzo didn't seem offended by the fact he was standing up and putting his coat on. "We should probably meet outside of a work environment at some time, right?"

"There's that film wrap-up party Johnny's throwing at the end of the month," Hanzo mentioned, "but I would like to see you before then." He paused and walked around the desk, placing a hand on Kuai's bicep. "I do worry about you, you know."

"I know." The only reason Kuai didn't try to fight that fact was that everyone who knew him had expressed worry for him. And in their defence it wasn't completely unfounded, given everything that had happened to him over his 40 years of life. "There's that new coffee shop opened up in town, if that interests you?"

"Sounds good to me." Hanzo lent in to give Kuai a hug, he returned it, maybe clinging a little too tightly. "I'll let you know when I'm free." They separated, and Hanzo added, "take care of yourself."

"You too," Kuai said. Hanzo may worry about him, but that gave Kuai free pass to worry for Hanzo too. "Say hi to Kenshi and Takeda for me!"

"Will do."

And with that Kuai grabbed his bag, and with a short wave turned to leave the office. He held his breath, right up until he left the building. Once out in the fresh air he let it out, breathing deeply.

Okay, okay, task one done. Task two, check in with my agent and make sure there's no deadlines I'm at risk of missing.

He nodded to himself, and set out in the direction he needed to go in.

Rain grunted as he jiggled the key in the lock. No matter what he did, the door just wouldn't open. He begun swearing under his breath, as he tried to get the damned thing to unlock.

"So as fun as it is to watch you struggle, are we gonna get to see your apartment any time soon?" Mileena asked, leaning against the wall as she watched him. Tanya snickered at her girlfriends comment. He wanted to show them his new space, but that was hard unless he could get inside the building.

"I'm trying, there must be a trick to this door that I don't know about." He furiously twisted but stopped for fear the key would break in the lock. He slammed his palm against the door, "god fucking dammit."

"Uh, there is a trick to the door, actually," another voice interrupted from the other side of him. Standing next to him was Kuai Liang, looking at him with a somewhat amused smile on his face.

Rain moved aside slightly, ignoring the strange looks Mileena and Tanya were giving. Kuai took the key in one hand and the other under the handle. He lifted the handle up slightly, while twisting the key. The lock clicked and the door swung open.

"It takes some getting used to," Kuai explained, removing the key from the lock and handing it to Rain. "After a while it just sort of becomes second nature."

"I see. Well thank you," Rain said, watching as Kuai held the door open for him and his friends. As they entered, Mileena gave Rain a rather expectant look and Rain knew what she wanted. "Oh, yeah, uh, this is my neighbour, Kuai Liang, and these are my friends, Mileena and Tanya."

"It's nice to meet you," Kuai softly greeted, closing the door behind him and bowing his head slightly.

"Ah, you too," Mileena said with a wave of her hand. As Rain went to hit the button for the elevator, she added "we promise we're just here to be quietly nosey around Rain's apartment, we're not gonna have a crazy party or anything."

"You realise saying that makes it sound like we're totally about to have a crazy party, right?" Tanya stated. Rain hissed but looking at Kuai he seemed to realise they were joking.

"Sooo, did you have a good day?" Rain tried to move away from whatever his friend's were talking about. Kuai's head snapped to him, as did Mileena and Tanya's.

"It was good, thank you for asking," he replied. Rain ignored the knowing look paired with a dark smirk that Tanya was now giving him. "How was yours?"

"Good. I mean I was at work so it was boring, but other than that good."

The elevator doors opened, and Rain made his way in, the others piling in behind him. Kuai hit the button for their floor before standing against the wall.

Tanya cleared her throat slightly, "so, Kuai Liang?" Kuai looked to her and Rain was suddenly dreading what she was about to say. "Sorry if this is rude to ask, but, how old are you?"

How Rain managed to stop himself from making a strangled sound, he wasn't sure. Earlier in the day he's decided Kuai was older than him, but he wouldn't dare just ask him like that.

Kuai for his part, chuckled nervously and said "I'm 40, why do you ask?"

That surprised him. Rain was 34, and he thought Kuai would be 36 at most. He had a very young face, he’d clearly aged extremely well. Yet somehow knowing he was older than he looked somehow made Kuai more attractive to him.

"Just curious," Tanya spoke innocently, a small smile. Rain knew what she was doing, fishing for info for him. Dammit. "Is there a Mrs. Kuai Liang then?"

Kuai blinked a few times, face going rather red and making the most nervous sound Rain had ever heard a human being make.

"No. I don't have a partner." And that reply gave Rain two points of interest. One was he was single, thus it was totally fair game for Rain to pursue him. The second was the use of the term partner. Granted it wasn't a confirmation he was gay, but it was ambiguous enough compared to Tanya's use of "Mrs" that it gave Rain a spark of hope.

The elevator opened and Kuai looked like he was trying so hard to not just run out the doors and down the corridor to his room. Rain made note to apologise to him later. When they reached their respective doors, Kuai turned slightly, keeping his head low so to not make eye contact. Yeah, I definitely gotta make it up to him.

"I hope you all have a nice evening," Kuai said despite his clear embarrassment.

"You too," Rain called out just before Kuai managed to open his door and slip through and out of sight.

He sighed, opening his own door and holding it open for his friends. After he walked in, and he closed the door and lent against it. He stared at Mileena and Tanya, both looking at him with tilted heads.

"I am going to fuck that man so hard," he announced. A little crude, sure, but it was how he felt.

"If Tanya hasn't completely frightened him off, you mean," Mileena said with a roll of her eyes. "Babe, I love you, but the poor guy looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole!"

"I'll find a way to make it up to him later," Rain stated, pushing himself away from the door. "Anyway, shall we start the tour of Château Rain?"

The two girls looked at each other, before shrugging and letting Rain guide them around the apartment.

It had been a couple of hours. Kuai had no idea why he still felt so mortified.

He poured the cake batter into the cupcake tins he had prepared. He felt like he wanted to just curl up in a dark corner and cry. It had become somewhat of a ritual for him to bake when he felt like that, an idea brought forth by his therapist. It helped, having something to do with his hands often let him think about whatever had upset him more rationally.

Except there wasn't any real rational reason for why he felt like this.

It was just two questions. Two very simple questions, that in the grand scheme of things, were completely innocent.

He wasn't embarrassed by how old he was, that was just the nature of time after all and completely out of his control, so why worry about it? As for his relationship status? He wasn't particularly bothered about being single. After his experience being married, he didn't really want anything serious, and being able to focus on himself for what felt like the first time in his life was so freeing.

So why did those two questions asked together fill him with such a strange sense of despair?

He finished up putting the batter into the cupcake tins, walking it to the oven and slipping it on the middle shelf. He sighed leaning back against the counter, and staring up at the ceiling.

The only part of the questions that he could say might have upset him was the used of "Mrs" and the assumption on his sexuality. Even then it was very much a minor thing, and not something to be this troubled over.

He was about to make himself a cup of tea when there was a knock on his door. He frowned. Given he hadn't buzzed anyone up, that meant it had to be someone already in the building. It wasn't unusual for his neighbours to knock and check on him. He slowly walked away from his kitchen and towards the door.

He swung it open to find Rain stood on the other side.

He felt all that horror come back to him, even as he gave a weak "hello."

"Hi, sorry, I just wanted to apologise for Tanya," Rain went straight to it, leaning against the doorframe. "I really hope she didn't upset you with her questions, I think she was just being nosy."

It had upset him, but he didn't have the words for it, especially with someone he didn't really know. So instead he just gave an uneasy smile and said "it's okay, I know she didn't mean anything by it."

What was social protocol in this situation? Should he invite Rain in for a cup of tea? He supposed it wouldn't hurt, would it?

"I was about to make a cup of tea," Kuai blurted out, quite surprised with himself if he was honest. "If you like, you could join me?"

"If I'm not interrupting or anything," Rain said with a non-committal shrug, and Kuai's mind was screaming.

"No, not at all," Kuai said, breathing deep and trying to keep calm as he moved aside for Rain to come in.

Rain looked around the open plan room, laughing slightly "your furnitures nice, at least it all matches."

"Admittedly I like things to be coordinated." Kuai walked back to his kitchen, flicking the switch on his kettle and reaching into the cupboard to get an extra cup. "I'm one of those people who get's really annoyed when a pattern is slightly off, you know?"

Kuai looked over his shoulder, expecting to see Rain still inspecting his apartment. Instead the other man was standing off behind him, looking him up and down. He didn't seem to realise Kuai was observing him. It was strange, Kuai couldn’t understand why he would be, there had some be something next to him that Rain was looking at.

Then, a light clicked on in his head. Rain was looking at him, it was a gaze Kuai was mostly oblivious to when it came to himself, but he’d seen it when people had crushes on his friends.

He’s checking me out.

No. There was no way. He was looking at something else and Kuai was misinterpreting his actions. That had to be it.

But… What else could he be looking at?

Was this why his friend was asking if Kuai had a partner? Was Rain attracted to him? If he was... Why? Kuai was nothing special in terms of looks.

He jumped when he heard his phone go across the counter.

As he turned around, Rain was looking straight, staring at the phone with a frown on his face.

"Uh, caller ID says it's someone called Sareena," Rain informed him, and Kuai felt a little uncomfortable that he was looking at his phone.

"Ah, I'm sorry, I'd better get it," Kuai excused reaching for the phone. He ignored Rain's double take, likely over how red Kuai's face was. He hit answer. "Hello?"

"Hey Kuai, hope I'm not interrupting anything?" Sareena sounded quite chipper this evening, that was good. It probably meant she wasn't ringing about anything too serious.

"Ah, I have a new neighbour over." He glanced at Rain, who seemed to be watching with intent. "Is something up?"

"Sorry I won't keep you long, promise," Sareena's voice was apologetic, "can I have your chocolate cake recipe? Pretty please? I've tried ones I've found on the internet but it doesn't taste the same as yours."

"Hmm, I suppose I can divulge my secret's to you," he teased, remembering his own cakes in the oven. He took a quick glance, they had risen but weren't brown yet. He reached for the cook book on the counter, "I'll take a picture of it and send it over."

"Thank you so much, you are an absolute darling," Sareena squealed.

"No problem." They both hung up, Kuai flipping to the recipe in question. "Sorry about that, my sister-in-law. Sometimes she rings me about work stuff, but this time it was just a cake recipe she was after."

"I see," Rain said with a hum. "So, you have a brother then?"

Kuai flinched slightly. It was reasonable conclusion for him to come to, but it was far too early in knowing him for Kuai to go into detail about all that. His brother’s death still hurt him, even so many years later. It was so hard to talk about him.

"Had," Kuai corrected, choosing to concentrate on taking the photograph of the recipe.

"Oh. Shit. I'm sorry."

"You weren't to know," Kuai sighed, finally sending the photo to Sareena. He finally turned to Rain who was looking rather unsure what to do with himself. "Ah, I should finish that tea shouldn't I?"

Rain silently nodded, watching as Kuai put his phone back on the counter.

"I- uh. I have two brother's myself," Rain spoke up, clearly not entirely sure where to go with the conversation. "Well. Half-Brothers. Twins." Kuai was turned his back to Rain, focusing on the kettle and the tea, but he could hear Rain tapping his foot. "I don't really get along with them. One's a self righteous prick and the other is currently in prison."

Kuai finished the tea and turned to Rain with a puzzled expression. "I- that's... quite a family you have then."

"Trust me, you have no idea," Rain muttered somewhat bitterly, but accepted the tea regardless. "Thank you." He took a sip, leaning back against the counter. "So, um, can I ask you something?"

"Okay." He felt a little unsure, given that Rain had already been asking him questions, so why did he feel the need to request permission now?

"Earlier when Tanya was asked if you were in a relationship you said you didn't have a partner," he began and Kuai was already feeling a little regretful for agreeing to the question. "Was the use of the word partner for any reason?"

Kuai opened his mouth and closed it, before taking a sip of his tea. It wasn't the question he expected, but paired with Rain staring at him so intently only minutes ago, it was clear where this was going.

"I'm gay." Well he hadn't intended to put it quite so bluntly, but it was out there now. "I said partner because I'm gay."

Rain smiled at this news. A sultry smile, as he licked his lips. Kuai felt his entire face go hot. It felt like he was on fire. Was the room always this hot? Did... Did Rain always look that attractive? The other man lessened the gap between them. Kuai stopped breathing.

"I was hoping that was the answer," Rain purred leaning closer. Kuai felt a hand lace his side, and he gasped. "You're a very attractive man, Kuai Liang."

"Thank you?" Kuai squeaked out. Rain's hand was firmly on his hip. They were so close Kuai could see nothing but Rain's eyes. Oh shit, he has really fucking nice eyes. Rain's lips brushed his and Kuai shuddered. He wanted to kiss him, to see just how far Rain was willing to push this. Was he really this desperately lonely? He didn't even know Rain.

The smell of cinnamon overwhelmed him.

Cinnamon?

"Oh fuck! My cakes!" Without thinking he pulled away and rushed over to the oven and threw on an oven mitt. He pulled the cakes out and put them in top of the stove, turning the oven off as he did.

The good news was his cakes weren't burnt. The bad news was they were still looking overdone.

"Are they okay?" Rain asked, standing next to Kuai.

"They'll probably be dry, but still edible," Kuai explained with a sigh. He hadn't messed up his baking in a long time. He stared at them like maybe that would help them suddenly not be overcooked. When he finally decided that wasn't going to help, he turned to Rain and matter of factly stated "you owe me."

Rain blinked and shook is head, eyes wide. "Huh?"

"You owe me. You distracted me, thus, you owe me for these cakes." Kuai placed a hand on his hip and lent against the counter. He wasn't entirely sure what he was trying here. He believed he was attempting to flirt.

If it was what he was trying, to his surprise it actually seemed to work, as Rain had that smile on his face again. "Ah, I see." He closed the gap again, arm looping around Kuai's waist. "What can I do to make it up to you?"

Before Kuai could reply, a phone went off. Not Kuai's this time. It wasn't his ring tone. Rain backed away and pulled out a phone from his pocket. He looked frustrated and glanced up to Kuai.

"Sorry I really have to take this," he said, not sounding happy about that fact at all. Kuai just nodded as Rain turned away and answered the phone. "Hello? What do you need?" There was a pause. "Alright, I can-" He shook his head. "By tomorrow? That's a bit short notice isn't it?" He started pulling on his hair. "Yes, yes. Alright okay, I'll see what I can do. Alright, see you tomorrow. Bye."

If it wasn't a mobile phone, Kuai swore it would have been slammed down. He gulped slightly.

"Everything okay?" He chanced, feeling a little better when Rain's face softened at the sight of him.

"Yeah, it was just my boss. He's sprung a last minute report on me that has to be done by tomorrow." Kuai hoped his disappointment didn't show on his face too much. "I'm sorry, I really need to do this."

"No, it's... I understand, you need to do it," he agreed, biting his lip as it threatened to tremble.

He led Rain back to his door, sliding it open and letting the other man out into the corridor.

"Don't forget you owe me!" He called out. Rain turned to him with a sly smile, winked at him, and then like that was gone.

Kuai closed the door, resting his forehead against it after. He sighed, pushing himself away and slowly making his way to the kitchen. He stood in silence, staring at his almost ruined cakes and then the two half drunk cups of tea.

"I just flirted with him." The realisation smacked him in the face so hard he almost got whiplash. "Oh. Fuck, I just flirted with him."

He wasn't sure why, but he slowly dropped to his knees and curled up into himself. His fingers tangled in his hair as he tugged on it. He wasn't sure where his boldness had come from at all. And now it was over? He felt completely stupid. Granted, Rain clearly enjoyed it, and for whatever reason, really seemed to want to do him. But he still felt foolish.

He flopped over onto his side, laying on the floor, questioning his life choices for the evening.

≛❀≛ Next Chapter ⋟

#mortal kombat #subrain #kuai liang #sub zero #rain #🏢i wanna i wanna stay ‘til the end

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